Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1888-04-01
PARLOR ETIQUETTE.
MARION HAELAED TELLS HOW 10
CARRY ONES SELF In SOCIETY.
Etiquette to be Observed and
Usaful Hints.
lFor tne pIspa.oh-cepyrIrhtod. 1sssl

"What do you think OF our new &C
quaintance, my dear ?"
The speaker had just said "Good-by,"
in the hall, to young clergyman who
had brought letter Of introduction to
the hospitable home.
The wife raised grave face from the
fire she was studying
"That he has been grossly wronged,
or that he is devoid OF gentlemanly in
stincts. Perhaps hG has not lived at
home with his mother and sisters since
his infancy, been brought up in third
class boarding houses among underbred
people, or he may have neither mother
nor sisters Perhaps, having both, he
has despised their counsel, and would
none Of their reproof."
"a three-horned dilemma He could
hardly escape implement. / noticed a
want of polish. of course. As to de-
tails"
"Itwas al details Demeanor is made
up OF details. To begin with check
ing them off on her fingers" when L
entered the room in which you two were
sitting you arose and introduced him to
me. He 6otced from his seat, holding
out his hand as q Sultan might extend
the sceptrs to favorite. Half an hour
later coffee and tea we're brought in, as
always on orr AT Home evenings. He
took a cup from me with a smiling nod
and civil, Thank you still without
rising To make thorough test Of
his gentle breeding, or, rather his
lack of II, L led the converse
ton to flowers, took rosebud
from a vase, crossed the room, and pre-
sented it to him. He said VERY beauti-
full La France, is it not? Thank
you put it in his buttonhole, and
kept his seat By the way, he had es-
tablished himself in the middle of the
sofa, while occupied an upright recep-
tion-chair. To show that he was not
diffident or awkward, he lelled a little on
the sofa-arm presently and handled the
pillow on his knees then promoted his
eleft ankle to point d'Gppu5 on his right
knee, stroking it reassuringly from time
to time TO reconcile it to the change Of
| place. Half a dozen other visitors came
and went, to all of whom he nodded
condescendiRgly from the sultanic otto
man, and proceeded tospreleng this, his
first call, to three mortal hours, outsit-
ting everybody else. was on nay feet
dozen times, mean while, having wagered
q pair of gloves to myself that he should
pull himself to the perpendicular once
during the evening. He never did until
he arose 10 90 at IL o'clock. Oh,
yes / acknowledge that he is bril-
liant talker, and probably a man of
mark in a profession where fine breeding
should be tho rule. / do not doubt his
piety, zeal, benevoleace, or eloquence.
He is nevertheless not a gentleman in
grain, or even veneered. Men so igno-
rant or 30 digdainful OF the rudiments of
drawing room etiquette ought to keep to
study, pulpit, and street My sense of
indignity-of absolute outrage-could
hardly be strongerhad our friends let
ter been presented by a semi-nude Paw
nee."
The foregoing sketch from life, prera-
phaelite in accuracy OF detail, is intro
duced for other purposes than simple
illustration. No dweller in a civilized
land can afford to be ignorant of certain
particulars OF courteous demeanor that
rank now as essentials in polite society
Aptness in such respects does not come
by intuition. The drawing-room is wo-
mans kingdom, and she has a right to
exact outward conformity to the laws
regulating behavior therein. The viola
ton of these begets in the gentlest host
ess pain and displeasure, in less amiable
women such sense of offence as vas
aroused by the free-and-easy clerical yisi-
tor Just described.
BEGIN IN CHILDHOOD.
Education in the practice OF funda-
mental principles of right breeding
should begin in childhood. The boy
who is taught from the time he dons his
first knickerbockers. and even earlier, to
rise when his mother, to him the First
Lady in the Realm, enters the room, and
remain standing uRtil she has taken the
chair he offers, or selected one for her
self TO rise when receiving anything
from her hand; who is reprimanded
when he passes between two people
who arc conversing together, or between
any one and the fire. or walks out OF a
door before tho ladies OF the company,
who are moving in the same direction
as himself; who is taughtto raise his hat
in the street. and do UithoUt IL at
home, will escape implement on any OF
the horns specified by our hostess. A
quick eye and ready adaptation to the
social latitude in which no finds himself
will carry him safaly through the mazes
OF fashionable life, the usagss and bylaws
Of which are constructed upon the rudi-
ments he has already mastered His good
breeding may be 80 quietly evinced as
to attract little attention in circles where
the observance of these by-lawsis almost !
universal. Just as a well-bred woman
scarcely notices that her escort IN the |
street raises his hat to every man who |
bows to her. whether acquainted with |
him or not. If the passing acknow-
ledgment of the courtesy shown to her |
is omitted by him, she is amazed and |
angered, and probably declines future
invitations that might lead to repeti-
ton of the annoyance. That man cor
ries bis food to his mouth with a fork |
does not deserve q passing thought.
When he delegates the Office to his knife
O shock runs through the whole body |
convivial.
1t is suggestive of deeper moral les
sons to reflect how much that makes life !
run easily in the grooves is like the gen.
tie ooze OF natural oils between anatomi-
cal joints, never thought of until 1t fails.
Habitual courtesy is the salt of human
intercourse according to the small boys |
definition OF that useful mineral
SALTS what makes psrtaters don't
taste good when you don't put any on
'eml"
Minute civiities, suave amenities. that
may mean nothing to the nnaccustomed
eve, bring social association to delicate,
relishful flavor, which, it would seem,
ought to be grateful to all palstes.
One of the duties of the eighteenth
century dancing-msster was to teach his
pupils how to enter drawing-room pro-
perly. have sighed for his successor
when | have seen men who have passed
the age at which ignorance is encusable
stalk into the presence of the hostess