The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1888-06-09
LIFE AND MANNERS.
Traits whose Possession Will Mako n 3Tnm
. Gentleman wherever He May lie.

WnOS0 FOA404SlOn
. Gentleman wherever He May he.
Tact is q product Of good feeling
and quick observation. Essential to 1t
is sympathy with others, and 1t is cs-
sential to true courtesy. No man by
merely learning rules Of etiquette can
acquire habits Of courtesy. Evcn If ho
does learn tho rules and obey them, ho
will be angular, unnatural, cold. His
actions will not be the product of an
inward feeling. They will, therefore,
not be theexprcssion Of his own nature.
His love will always be with dissimula-
| ton. The foundation OF true courtesy
is tho law, "Thou shalt love thy neigh
Dor as thyself;' the rule Of true courtesy
is, "Do unto others as you would that
others should do unto you" The
King who violated the most alphabetic
law of etiquette, by pouring the tea
from his cup into his saucer to cool
and then drinking it from his saucer,
in order to give countenance to guest
who had done so, while the courtiers
laughed in their sleeves ut his ignor-
ance. exhibited u model OF courtesy.
because he showed peri ection of tact.
Courtesy is simply love applied in
social life to the conduct OF small
affairs. Good feeling and good sense
underlie almost all rules OF courtesy.
The first thing. therefore, for one to
do who wishes to develop courteous
habit is to develop good feeling and
good sense. The truth finds express
sion in the Greek original rendered in
our English Bible, be courteous; it is
literally be friendly-mintled. All true
courtesy is the prosluct of u friendly
mind. Boorishness is a product of
selfishness far more than n product OF
ignorance; or at least product of that
ignorance which is itself product OF
selfishness. l was once at wcddiQg
breakfast in rural community in tho
West. The groom ate in silence the
food that was set before him, dispatched
his meal before the rest of us were
moro than half through. pushed back
his plato, wiped his mouth with the
back of his hand, and, farming to his
bride, said: "Well, Sally! you may as
well get used to my way at the begin
ming, and always leave the table
when / have got through with my
meal" With these words he went out
to pick his teeth on the door-steps,
leaving his bride with a flushed face
and panied heart, the object of our
commiseration. The man was boor.
you say. True! What made him a
boorp The fact that he selfishly thought
only of his own comfort. 1t never
entered his head to inquire whether
his conduct would be agreeable Oh
painful to his bride.
The foundation of courtesy is laid in
the home. If early lessons are not
taught there it is well-nigh impossible
to compensate for the lack by subse-
quent culture. If the child is taught
to be unselfsf, sympathetic, consider
ate of the feelings of others in tho
home, he will carry this habit with him
wherever he goes. He may be ingorant
of those conventional laws of etiquette
which vary in different localities, but
he will everywhere be recognized rs a
man of good breeding. Thus it is that
courtesy becomes family and even a
national trait. The Frenchmen and the
Japanese are courteous, because they
are trained to consider the feelings ol
others. The English as nation are
not courteous. Their courtesy is a
matter of court etiquette, and adjusts
itself according to classes. There is
more conscience on the English side Of
the Channel, more courtesy on the
French side. So, again, courtesy shows
: itself in certain old families. 1t ha:
become second nature by long
processes of training and inheritance
Nothing can quite take the place o
this good breeding in producing good
manners, for nothing less will make
tact q second nature. Courtesy, fol
instance, requires me, If l 60 into ;
Roman Catholic Church, to bow my
head when all the worshipers are bow
ing theirs. l have no right to impose
my disbelief upon other religious wor
: shippers, and so wound their feeling
and interrupt their worship A mem
ber of one school of medicine may re
: fuse to consult with member o
another school of medicine. but he ha
no right to do it in discourteous man
ner-that is, in a way needlessly t.
l wound the feelings of his brother-man
The sum of the whole matter, then, i
this: To be courteous is to be friendly
minded; it. is to have tact; it is to b.
; sympathetic with other people, ant
: observant of their needs, their wishes
their feelings. and in speech and actor
, considerate of them. If one lacks thi
spirit of sympathetic consideration, nj
study of rules Of etiquette will max
him truly courteous. If he possesse
this spirit of consideration, he will b
. instinctively courteous to all mon ant
women in all circumstances. and will
then have only to inform himself as tt
certain general rnles of courtesy appli
cable alike in all localities and stations
and as to some specific rules Of etiquett
which convenience has established il
: special cases and in particular localtie
or for existing social conditions. All tb
general rules of courtesy and most o
the special rules of etiquette have
foundation in common sense as well a
in kindly feeling. Lyman Abbot, d
!, d., IN Chautauquan.
-e
Not the key-Hoie.
To- do vsvo