St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-09-23
Box
Vermont, Aug. %.

Vermont, Aug. %.
p. 81 send one or two nuggets"
p. S.-The proposition | make you,
| Mr.. Nye, is such a novel one that you
may suspect my sincerity. To show
you | am what | purpOrt to be and
could not possibly, in my position, com
promise my prospects by attempting to
hoax you, l inclose the following from
our local paper here:
A fair congregation attended the
services in HOlley hall Sunday. The
sermon by Mr.. -- was clear, fOrci-
bic argument, and was listened to with
close attention. Another meeting will
be held i'll the same place Sunday, Aug.
49,"
Find stamp for reply; l am only
tWenty-four years old.
NUGGET NO. l.
knew of man who left Vermont
and went to the northern part of Da-
kota, where he lived for several years.
He then returned to his own home on
account of the climate, which was very
severe in winter. Some of his old neigh
borS asked him what the climate of Da-
kOta was right through the year, to
which he replied naively that there they
had nine months winter and three
months id late in the fall. This
think is very rich. and if we'll dressed
up and written in eXtenSo, would be
very amusing. or course the joke
hinges on the fact that he has really
gwen no time to spring or summer
whatever.
NUGGET NO. 2.
Two men were once engaged in con-
versation relative to the incidents in
the Bible, and they got to talking, at
last, about John the Baptist. One said
he had heard that John the Baptist was
not very we'll off. Eyes, | heard that,
toO,'' said the other, ''but still he lived
within his means and also saved some
thing. according to the Scriptures"
How was that?" exclaimed the first.
"Why, he was certainly one sent
Gent ahead, was he nOt?'
This is a play upon words which is
very humorous and amusing, though
slightly irreverent, perhaps. and so
would rather you would use it and
pay me for the idea simply, using your
own language. Some of the nuggets
of fun which | would send you also
have some slight dashes Opportunity i'll
them, which, of course, would not hurt
your reputation at ali, but would be
highly injurious to me if were to print
them over my own name. | will send
some more of these at at once if we
make a trade.
| do not give the name of the clergy
man, though thought at first that [
would. He is only twenty-four years
old, and so he may yet look back with
horror upon this letter. Therefore [
will not expose him,
But how unjust he is, and how selfish
withal. He cannot bear the thought of
irit N HE fafinn hU fnt har-
Ing the above nuggets and yet he is
willing to receive pay for them, and
leave my reputation beSmirched for
ever. With keen sense of the ride
ulOuS and "a retentive memory" which
enables him to remember jokes which
extend back to the time of John the
Baptist, he asks me to knock the moths
out of these b. G.. Judas spirits" and
divide with him the price OF my dis
grace.
He also alludes to my beautiful tex
tile fabrications." He then intimates
that it would be disastrous to his bust
ness to obtain reputation as humor
ist and liar, but that he is willing to re-
ceive a check for his share as Il silent
partner.
This is. the style of person which
makes the ''green-gOOdS man" thrive.
He would build church with counter
felt money if he could do it with perfect
safety.
There are two or three popular errors
regarding humoriStS, and do not know
but this would be good time TO men
ton the matter. Having been great
admirer and constant reader of Amer
lean humOr for some years, have been
thrown among humOriSts more or less,
and l can truly say that they are fire.
quently misunderstood.
In the first place, very few of them do
their literary work under the influence
of liquor. Because two or three Ameri-
can humoriStS were of convivial turn
of mind there is an impression in the
minds of some that humoriStS are born
drunk and die drunk. depending entire
ly upon the pleasing but deluSive exhil-
Grafton of rum for their inspiration.
This is vitality wrong, for many joke
has sprung up from the low grounds of
sorrow, and hunger and poverty have
fOStered some of the best humOr of
which the world knows.
Since the world began Punchinello
has been obliged to earn his salary dur
ing Office hours, and cry over the grave
of his dear dead love after the days
comedy was over. The music has Jared
upon his ears and the lights have scared
his eyeSight, but at last came the wei
come night, the sympathlzing stars, and
the luxury of laying aside the property
smile, even though he did it TO take up
his own and only private grief. There
is something pathetic about this, some
thing also of Christian fortitude, per-
hapS, for sadness is even more sad when
to halt for day TO give it genuine eX-
preston is impossible.
Still there is something more Dltiful
than all this, something which makes
other pathCs lose its power. 1t is the
sight of piouS teacher.prieSt and guide
Offering to enter into a secret partner
ship with literary clown; to provide
raw material for manufacture into tex
tie fabrication" at moderate prices; to
OStenSibly repair and save souls while
secretly ranSacking the catacOmbS and
cryptS of lOud-Smelling ages of jokes; to
kneel in supplication in the attitude and
gaise of a pastor before the people,
while accepting the damnablc price OF
the humoristi
When | pause to consider this | have
no time or pity to beStOw uron my own
lost and undone condition. ] can only
stand uncovered i'll the presence of such
duplicity as this and cry out: Sir. L
make 10 claim whatever. The large
frosted cake with raisinS into it, voted
to the man with the best record of du-
plicity. is yours; yours to enjoy, yours
to perpetuate, yours tn transmit"
You state that fame is humorist
would he a bar to your success in the
ministry" Is that all? Have you con-
iided in me tlre only thing you have to
fear in your onward march toward sue