Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1888-04-19
SOME WITTY ANSWERS.
Amusing Remarks Made in English Court
nf Tn


of Law.
Our courts of law have furnished us
at various times with very witty and
amusing remarks. lawyers and prison
ers alike being gully on this score.
Doubtless every one has heard of the
lrishman who. in reply to the ques-
ton: Guilty. or not guilty?" said 'he
would like to hear the evidence before
he would plead" A magistrate in
another case was dealing with Ga va
grant. and in a severe tone addressed
him thus: You have been up before
me half dozen times this year"
thereby giving him to understand that
he had appeared too often on the
scene. Tho prisoner, however, was
equal to the occasion. for he replied:
Come, now. judge-none of that
Every time I've been here I've seen
you here. You are here more than
am. People who live in glass houses
shouldn't throw stones"
Curran. the Irish advocate, was one
day examining witness. and. failing
to get direct answer, said: There
is no use in asking you questions, for
see the villain in your face" DO
you. sir?" said the man, with smile.
FAX. / never knew before that my
face was looking-glass. On an
other occasion he was out walking
with friend who was extremely
punctilious in his conversation. The
latter, hearing a person near him say
curiosity for curiosity. exclaimed {:
How that man murders the English
language" Not so bad rs that" re-
piled Curran; The has only knocked
an out!'
pr soner at the bar" said judge,
lis there any thing you would wish TO
say before sentence is passed upon
you?" The prisoner looked toward
the door. and remarked that he would
like to say Good evening, if it was
agreeable to the company"
a remember" says Lord Eldon.
Mr. Justice Gould trying a case at
York. and when he had proceeded for
about two hours he observed: Here
are only eleven jurymen in the box;
where is the twelfth?' Please you,
nv lord said one of the eleven, 'he
has gone away about some business;
but he has LIFT his verdict with me. ="
This is almost on par with case
tried in one of the Lancashire courts.
when SERGEANT Cross was a resident
barrister in that county. The jury.
having consulted and agreed upon
their verdict were addressed by the
clerk of the peace: How say you.
gentlemen of the jury; do you find
for the plaintiff or the defendants"
what sayn yop dunnot under
stand" said the foreman.
..Why. as you have decided. all
want to know is whether your verdict
is for the plaintiff or the defendant ="
The foreman was still greatly en-
barrassed; but he replied: "Whoy. l
ralv dunnot know. but we're for him
as Mester Cross is for.
Lord Cockburn' looks, tones, Ian
guaoe and manner were always such
as to make one think that he believed
every word he said. On one occasion.
before he was raised to the
bench. when defending a murder
or although he failed to convince
the Judge and jurymen OF the lnno-
cence Of his client yet he convinced
the murderer himself that he was in
nocent. Sentence of death was pro-
nounced, and the day of execution
fixed for say. the goth of january: As
Lord Cockburn was passing the con-
demaed man, the latter seized nm
bv the gown. saying: Il have not
oot Justice, Mr.. Cockburn-I have not
cot Justice" TO this the advocate
coolly replied: Perhaps not; but
You'll get it on the ooh of January.
Chambers Journal