The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-22
BRIGHT BITS.

THE CHURCH BELLE is sometimes found In the
choir-BOstOh Bulletin.
IT Is SAID that nearly every member Of Con.
greS, intends TO make speech on the tariff
bill. But won't that be a htavy tax on raw
material-on raw oratorical material?-C CHICAGO
Herald
THE New York SIN has published list of
Young Men Who We're Great Should it ever
publish list, Of young men who think they
great the paper manufacturers will have boom.
Lincoln Journal.
CHICAGO yoUNG MAN-And what do you think
or Mount Vesuvius Miss Palmerhouses
chicago Young WomaD--I couldn't help
thinking Mr. Rattantan what magnificent
toboggan slide it would make.-Jud9e. ...
.JuDGE-Prlsoner you were caught with can
OF dynamite in your possession
friSoner-Your honor. us necessary TO my
business. I'm book agent, and while l have
that can nobody dares to throw me down stars.
-Terds !Siftings.
So LONG nineteen out of every twenty
ladies' look better in high hats than in low ones
the theatrical critics will kc i'll vain And, as
matter of fact. the view of the stage might
as well be shut off in four fifths of the plays
Detroit Free Press
Mas HENDRICKS (the landlady)-Is your seat
comfortable, Mr.. Dumley, or are you too near
., Dumley-~No. am not too near the fire, Mrs
Hendricks. but think l am-er-e triie too
near the butter. BRAKES Magazine.
PRESIDENT OF LIFE INSURANCE CoMPANY-Now
I've eau sht you, you rascal! Drop that jewelry
or I'll blow your brains out
lmpudent Burglar-Yer dissent, I've got
my life insured in your company fur s. 900, and
1t will be cheaper to let me see?-Jltdge.
Now, Willie, said the Sunday school teacher
what is the lesson to-day about?"
Daniel in the lions den"
That's right; and how did Daniel come to be
in the lions den?n
II reckon he wanted to get away from the
fellerS that make jokes about him and the Presi-
dent."-Nerchdnt Traveller.
LADY-Are you acquainted with Miss Schmidt?
Dude-Yaas, talked with her for half an hour
the other night at the ball. Awful stupid
cweature
How so?"
why, you see she nevah opened her mouth
the whole time wath talking to her"
What! Didn't she even awn?"-EIiegende
Batter.
MISS GRIGsBY-My father is a great lover of
art. Are You, Mr.. Quimby?
YES. In fact, I'm painter myself"
that
He has heard it. In fact, am shortly to
execute piece of work for him."
''Indeed? OF what natureG''
I'm going To paint his barn. ''-Lfncoln Jour
nal
New York Youth Gin palace car)-Aw! beg
pawdon. but dye knaw we've been. aw chotting
togethah fob neatly an 'owah an, b. love- |
don't know youah name, we knaw, noh you
mine
Omaha youth-My name is Blank.
Aw Mine is De Blank. You aw fwom the
West, fawncy?"
Yes, l live in Nebraska. How did you
know"
"I1,ah, beg pawdon fob weminding you of it,
but know it fwom yoah queen pronunciation
We knaw, m deah boy. "-Omdha World
MADE DIFFERENCE They were sitting around
the stove IN Il grocery, when the man with the
red goatee spoke up and said: 1T must be
awful to be cast away on an ocean-girt island"
"Becher life" responded one of the crowd
Well. don't know about that" thoughtflllv
replied the grocer. you don't Why, how
could it help but be awful2N is the island sup
posed to be unlhabitedgn "Of course" oh
that makes difference. l didn't know but that
ii was inhabited by grocer who kept red-hot
stove and barrel of apples for the convenience
of loaferS." Then deep silence fell upon the
island in the faroff Pacific, and one after
another of the wrecked sailors went out on some
errand or ouher.-Detrot Free Press.