Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-09-15
In Search of n Friend.

Bill Wells, OF Bath county, hen'
lucky, belonged to family of long
talking people, all good-natured and
honest, and all 80 full of humor that
had they been blessed with sufficient
education TO write would have &C.
quired greater fame than any Of "our
genial humorists" IN the line of news
paper facetiP.
Bill, seeing one day an unusually
green-looking specimen of humanity,
remarked that if he owned that fellow
he would put horns on him and turn
him out in the pasture. Speaking of
another man who was particularly
known as being penurious, he said,
when there was talk of building
monument to the wealthy miser, that
if he was planted with grain Of corn
in his ear he'd have monument in
the spring which would be as lasting
monument as he deserved.
Bill was peculiarly fond of taking of
the foibles and peculiarities of the we'll
known people about the neighborhood.
Among these was William Allen,
wealthy man who was very illiterate,
and whose popularity was o disposition
TO whittle. Another was one Lowery,
who wis a picker-up of unconsidered
trifes, petty larceny thief, who was
continually stealing chickens, eggs, etc,
and who was always pratitlg of honesty.
Bill Wells remarked one day that he
had just come through Josh Ewihgs
big cornfield in a very rich bottom.
Said he: "That corn is so heavy and
tall that you kin see lightning bugs in
it in the daytime. People gifts lost in
it an dies. found thar, this mawnin',
Bill Allen. He had Whitfield up two
sto' boxes and was tryin' to figger out
plan for cheating Charles Goodpaster
outen yoke er steers. Lowery wuz
layin' thar dead, too. He had on his
arm that little baskit that he alters car
ries, with a couple er dozen aigs to sell
an pair of oxbows, an the last words
that Lowery said was: God knows
I'm an ones man."
One time Bill went down to Cincln-
natl ON raft of sawlogs, during
freshet in Licking River, and he said
he tried to find Sam Whitlow, who
had been living there for several years,
having gone from Bills neighborhood.
He said he asked everybody he met if
he knew where Sam lived, but they all
turned up their noses and went on just
as if he wasn't talking to them. Said
he: II tuck notice, howsomever, that
nearly all of these fellers smoked
seegars, so went into a place and
bought some. This wuz befo' the
waugh, en- seegars WIZ monst'ous
cheap. bought ten cents with, an
they filed my pockets en- hat, an
lef big pile on UNI layin' on the
counter. After that, when axed UNI
whar Sam lived, offered UNI seegar,
but they turned up thar noses more'n
ever. Finally, 1 bought a Jug er
whisky en- went to talk to some fell
lers ct wuz a-workin' in ditch in the
street, an axed um to drink with me,
which they did, an they drunk up all
the whisky in the jug. They seemed
/ to be monstous willin' to tell me all
about Sam, but after they had drunk
the whisky en- tried to talk, found
out they wuz these yer Eyetalians, en-
couldn't say word er United States.
| But I reckon eff coulder understood
UNI they'd er tole me all about Sam,
but l amt never heard drafted word
of Sam Whitlow fun that day to this. {"
| -Arha1lSulC TTdUeIer