Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1888-09-21
A CURIOUS DREAM.
BY MARK TWAIN.

Night before last | had curious
dream. | seemed to be sitting on a
doorstep Gn no particular city per
haps), ruminating, and the time of
night appeared to be about twelve or
one o'clock. The weather was balmy
and delicious. There was no human
sound in the air, not even q footstep.
There was no sound of any kind to
emphasize the dead stiffness, except
the occasional hollow barking of
dog in the distance and the fainter an
swer of a further dog. Presently up
the street / heard bony clack-clack-
ing, and guessed it was the castanets
of a serenading party. In a minute
more tall skeleton, hooded, and half
clad in tattered and mouldy shroud,
whose shreds were Tapping about the
ribby lattice-work of its person swung
by me with 4 stately stride, and dis
appeared in the grey gloom of the
starlight. 1t had broken and worm
eaten coffin on its shoulder and bun
die Of something in its hand. / knew
what the clack- k-clacking was then; it
was this party's joints working togeth-
er, and his elbows knocking against
his sides as he walked. | may say |
was surprised. Before | could collect
hnnr,l,tC nd
ulations as to what this apparition
might portend, / heard another one
coming-for | recognized his clack-
clack. He had two-thirds of a coffin
on his shoulder and some foot and
head-boards under his arm. / might
lily wanted to peer under his hood and
speak to him, but when he turned and
smiled upon me with his cavernous
sockets and his projecting grin as he
went by, thought | would not detain
him. He was hardly gone when |
heard the clacking again, and anoth-
er one issued from the shadowy half
light This one was bending under
gravestone, and dragging a sha bby
coffin after him by string. When he
got to Inc he gave Inc steady look for
a moment or two, and then rounded
to and backed up to Inc, saying:
Ease this down for fellow, will
you?"
| eased the gravestone down till it
rested on the ground, and in doing so
noticed that it bore the name of John
Baxton Copmanhurst," with May,
1882 as the date of his death. De
ceased sat wearily down by me, and
wiped his os fronts with his major
maxillary-chiefy from former habit
brought away any perspiration.
1T is too bad, too bad, said he,
drawing the remnant of the shroud
about him and leaning his jaw pen
sively on his hand Then he put his
left foot up on his knee and fell to
scratching his ankle bone absently
with a rusty nail which he got out of
his coffin.
what is too bad, friend"'
''Oh, everything, everything. | al
most wish j had never died"
You surprise me. Why do you say
this? Has anything gone wrong?
What is the matter?''
Matter Look at this shroud-rags.
Look at this gravestone, all battered
up. Look at this disgraceful old
coffin. All mans property going to
ruin and destruction before his eyes,
and ask him if anything is wrong?
Fire and brimstoner'
Calm yourself, calm YOURSELF > |
said. 1T is too bad-it is certainly
too bad, but then | had not supposed
that you would much mind such mat
tiers, situated as you are"
We'll, my dear sir, do mind them.
My. pride is hurt, and my comfort is
mpaired-destroyed, might say. |
will state my case-I will put it to you
in such a way that you can compre-
hend it, if you will let me-" said the
poor skeleton, fitting the hood of his
shroud back, as if he were clearing for
action, and thus unconsciously giving
himself jaunty and festive air very
much at variance with the grave char
acter of his position in life-so to speak
and in prominent contrast with his
distressful mood.
Proceed" said |.
Il reside in the shameful old grave
yard block or two above you here,
in this street-there, now, | just ex-
pected that cartilage would let go!-
third rib from the bottom, friend, hitch
the end of it to my spine with string,
if you have got such thing about
you, though bit of silver wire is a
deal pleasanter, and more durable and
becoming, if one keeps it polished-to
think of shredding out and going to
pieces in this way, just on account of
the Indifference and neglect of ones
posterity!'-and the poor ghost graf
ed his teeth in a way that gave me a
wrench and a shiver-for the effect is
nightly increased by the absence of
muffling flesh and cuticle. II reside
in that old graveyard, and have for
these thirty years;a and tell you things
are changed since | first laid this old