The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1888-06-09
LIFE AND MANNERS.
Traits Whose Possession VIII Make Ma.
Gentleman Wherever He Nav Re

tHu iuiNN OpoCi fdOiOh' LSScHIlal to IL
is sympathy with others, and it is es.
sential to true courtesy. No man br
merely learning rules of etiquette car
acquire habits of courtesy. Even if he
does learn the rules and obey them. he
will be angular, unnatural, cold. His
actions will not be the product of an
inward feeling. They will, therefore
not be the expression of his own nature
His love will always be with dissinula.
ton. The foundation of true COURTESY
is the law, Thou shalt love thy NEIGH.
Dor as myself" the rule of true courtesy
is, ''Do unto others as you would that
others should do unto you" The
King who violated the most alphabetjc
law of etiquette, by pouring the tea
from his cup into his saucer to cool
and then drinking it from his saucer
in order to give countenance to a guest
who had done so, while the courters
laughed in their sleeves at his ignor-
ance, exhibited model of COURTESY
because he showed a peri ection of tact.
Courtesy is simply love applied in
social life to the conduct of small
affairs. Good feeling and good eense
underlie almost all rules of courtaAs
The first thing, therefore, for one to
do who wishes to develop a courteous
habit is to develop good feeling and
good sense. The truth finds express
sion in the Greek original rendered in
our English Bible, be courteous; it is
literally be friendly-minded All true
courtesy is the product of a friendly
mind. Boorishness is a product of
selfshness far more than a product of
ignorance; or az least a product of that
ignorance which is itself a product of
selfshness. l was once at wedding
breakfast in a rural community in the
West. The groom ate in silence the
food that was set before him, dispatched
his meal before the rest of us were
more than half through, pushed back
his plate, wiped his mouth with the
back of his hand, and, turning to his
bride, said well, Sally! you may as
well get used to my way at the begin
ming, and always leave the table
when have got through with my
meal" With these words he went out
to pick his teeth on the door-steps,
leaving his bride with flushed face
and a panied heart, the object of our
commiseration. The man was boor,
you say. True! What made him a
boor? The fact that he seliishly thought
only of his own comfort. 1t never
entered his head to inquire whether
his conduct would be agreeable or
painful to his bride.
The foundation of courtesy. is laid in
the home. Ii early lessons are not
taught thereit is well-nigh impossible
to compensate for the lack by subse-
quent culture. If the child is taught
to be unseliish, sympathetic, consider
ate of the feelings of others in the
home, he will carry this habit with biz
wherever he goes. He may be ingolSnt'
of those conventional laws of etiquette
which vary in different localities, but
he will everywhere be recognized as
man of good breeding. Thus it is that
courtesy becomes family and even a
national trait. The Frenchmen and the
Japanese are courteous, because they
are trained to consider the feelings Of
others. The English as nation are
not courteous. Their courtesy is a
matter of court etiquette, and adjusts
itself according to classes. There is
more conscience on the English side of
the Channel. more courtesy on the
French side. So, again, courtesy shows
itself in certain old families. 1t has
become q second nature by long
processes of training and inheritance.
Nothing can quite take the place of
this good breeding in producing good
manners, for nothing less will make
tact a second nature. Courtesy, for
instance, requires me, if 60 into a
Roman Catholic Church, to bow my
head when all the worshipers are bow
ing theirs. l have no right to impose
my disbelief upon other religious wor-
shippers. and so wound their feelings
and interrupt their worship. A mem
Der of one school of medicine may re-
fuse to consult with a member of
another school of medicine, but he has
no right to do it in discourteous man
ner-that is. in way needlessly to
wound the feelings of his brother-man.
The sum of the whole matter, then, is
this: To be courteous is to be friendly
minded; it is to have tact; it is to be
sympathetic with other people, and
observant of their needs, their wishes,
their feelings. and in speech and action
considerable of them. If one lacks this
spirit of sympathetic consideration, no
study of rules of etiquette will make
him truly courteous. If he possesses
this spirit of consideration, he will be
instinctively courteous to all men and
women in all circumstances, and will
then have only to inform himself as to
certain general rnles of courtesy appli.
cable alike in all localities and stations
and as to some specific rules of etiquette
which convenience has established in
special cases and in particular Localities
or for existing social conditions. All the
general rules of courtesy and most as