Morning journal and courier., 1888-04-17
ON R..

What is the horsepower of our navys asks a correspondent. One horse.-Washingto Critic.
 You seldom hear Q man sing "Home, Sweet Home" on the night before the rent day. Boston Courier.
 Patron (to restaurant waiter)-Got any
 Erie cheesea Waiter (astonished)-Only the
 pair I've got on, sir.-Hote1 Mail.
 One of the society journals states that
 blondes are no longer fashionable. It may
 be inferred from this that they have dyed
 Philsdelphia Call.
 Old Mrs. Nolittel can't see why sewing ma.
 chine Singers daughter, who is going to mar
 " penniless nobleman, should pay mil-
 lion dollars or more for feller.-Norristewn
 Herald.
 It would be difficult to say which man
 deserves the greatest amout of sympathy, the
 one who has a match and no cigar or the one who has cigar and nothing to light it with. Nebraska State Journal Nobody but millionaires on this coast can afford to heap coals of fire on their enemies heads. Nobody foresaw when that scriptural injunction was written that forgiving dis position would ever cost $16 per ton.-San Francisco Examiner.
 Beggar-Will you please give me dime, sir? I'm deaf and dumb. Gentleman-Deaf and dumbs Peggar-I mean I'm blind. It's me twin brother who is deaf and dumb, sir. We look so much alike that get mixed up myself sometimes.-Troy Press. Husband Gin the early morning)-What are you going through my pockets for, my dear7 Wife-A little change, John. Husband Have you no money of your own? Wife Yes; but it is so much easier to find mans pocket John, than woman's.-Harper's Bazaar.
 Young husband-Er-what kind of cake is this, my dears
 Young wife-Marble cake, Algernon. Isn't it nice?
 Young husband-Splendid. If there was enough of it it would makees nice front for & public building.-N. Y. Sun. Mrs. Riche Gin fur store to salesman)-I want to look at pair of furnalias. Sales- man (doubtfully)-I don't think know what you mean, madame. Mrs. Riche-One of my friends has bought pair of horses and a to go with it, and want pair, too. Sales man (reddening)-We are all out of them to- day, madame.-Journal of Fabrics. In dental office not one thousand miles away the following colloquy occurred: Has your tooth ever acheda" ooh, it just hurted me a little wunet or twict." -"Did it ever achea'' 'It pained me a bit, but shure I 1 toothaohe isa'' 'Indade an I do, sor."
 ''Has your tooth ever achedF' "Well thin, it did. It kept me awake the night, bad luck to it." ''Does it ache nowP' "An' if it didn't would I be herea"-Nantucket h. quirer.
 A young fellew strolled into a newspaper office in this city this morning and, laying l down clipping from a sswant column" i" in l which druggist advertised for ''pharma- cist," said: "Git me a place like dot und I gif you thaler." 'tHave you had any ex- perience as pharmacista" queried the astute | clerk at the Cad" window. "Ogsberiunce2'' l said the young fellow, opening his blue Teu- l ton eyes. ''I shoult say so. vas porn on 8 l farm, und york on von in Dakota dis tree years, und know it all." Another argu-
 menu for Volapuk. Journal. The baby king of Spain now walks In manner somewhat mannish; But it will be ten years or more Before he can walk Spanish New York Journal.