Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-11

A. MICH, w. WhDNEol
WITT AVN AND HUMoR
bowl;nr evil ,Iwell-toothache
,;,,..o,, r. D.. Press.
oomb;n.,;on LII lion lock makes good
oho.. uo,... Ga. Star.
The lonoo., ra;cn reign in history-thc
deluge.-Boston Rep on nePupllc.
Tb. .;rI ~ Ioro-lo loves William never
..L. h. f..L A. 6. .sr to foot her Bill.-Ex
The tnrtI. ho. an has an easy time of it,
and yet he does not f'' n0' nave 'o'' snap
-Ex.
II looL. verv norcTy much as though the
United States might "'sn' nave " '"n MO
rocco.-Ex. -
70. LI;,5 --.-- II man be held liable for
hill which bs 4, he accepted payable
=. s;L.o c. ar.
NJ signt l-otar.
An eoo tr,., !. Co. st is forming. Must the
naon,. &c th;. .our.u country be forever un-
dor tho volL &c onof monopolies ?-Chca.
go Tribune.
Hereafter ali mat call matches, except of a
matrimonial character, must by law
be marked "combu oo"pus''oie' ~ l.
Morn;ro Jo,r,.I rnal.
Pollv wanted an ed an egg when three
vears old apiece Please undress the egg,
Tom and o;vo !, % ,,e it to me-" was the way
she asked for ;t-R, it.-Boston Journal.
A cbeekv sonb w!yoph was lately up for
"ab.ences y "S;rn "Sir," said Professor =,
"Mr " toll. mo bo, me he's not seen you in
chanel this term yrm." Soph-"He must
have cut a good dea aHou uea', sr' -EA'
Our l;ttIe hov boy, 6 years old, was sent
to school last week 9 week for the first time,
and on his return ho 'orh NOME asheo Ills pa
pa:
"Who taught the gut sne nrS' man his ie''
ters ?"-Boston Gloton oiooe.
Boarder-Mrs. So MIS- Squeeze VIII nave
to leave vour hour house if you will
allow that tough to os" W cone 10 oreakiaSt
every morn;po lg.
JandlodvNwbo.-W do you mean
Roordor-Tho CO The steak, of course
Puck -
An ;mnrov;sed rvised pastille: Uneasy
individual r,vbo T. Who knows something is
wrong]-"Don't you Oh you 'h'nk IL Is very
olose IN ,b;, .,n cart"
Seatmate-"Fearf"Fearful, my trent. OF
il vbas not for die nsor dis packich oflimpurg-
er. dinks vos an, vos suffogades. Puck.
az hone 7 do not do not disturb you, ma
dame" he said as bid, as he was squeezing
past her to 60 out = ou' oe'"eeh 'he acls'
mot at all, sir" s. :n' she answered win
a charming smile smile; mot at all. am
pleased TO .ee Won se you going out My
husband keens tho cps the saloon nearest the
theater. Boston Costoh Oourier'
Magistrate Ito nris Ito prisoner You say,
Uncle Rastus that s, that you took the ham
because vor a.. an. are out of work and your
family are starving. arriving. And yet, un-
Ierstand Won have have four dogs about
he house.
Uncle Rastus-a astus-Yes, sah, but
wouldn't arsk NV fa my family to eat dogs,
~, bon.b,-No,, v-New York Sun.
do you belong oe,ong 10 the toboggan
,lub, Mr.. Smith p pi'h asked little boy
# a SARATOGA re,;d;a resident. "Oh, yes"
Mr.. Smith replied, 'ePi'eo' am one OF the
,ripinal m.mbers ofnbers of the club" "Id
ust like 70 see Won zee you riding once" went
N the little bov lie boy enthusiastically.
Ma saws she nevele never saw man go
lown hill so fast as ias' as you 90. -Ex'
"Lav the cat On cat ON lightly. please"
aid tho Delaware aware wife.beater to the
heriff who was abcwas about to apply the
ash to his back. Jack "lay it on lightly
nd you will soothe soo'he my angry feel
ngs."
"Soothe vour ang our angry feelings, sir?"
aid the sheriff. ''"'
YES soft tan, SUI '"il' SIT, 'urheth away
,ro,b ), Ro.,o, (,oston Courier.
Smith, ace law see Jay Gould says his
dversaries are nare newspaper cao'e
ompany and won y "on'"n'
Jones-Well, VIII ell what OF IL
Nothing onlv only they'll prove too
,uch for him. n''
Why?
Recause M man 10 man with schemes can
uck against the th 'he 'nree greatest news
agencie agencies IN 'he world
hicago Mail. nl nl
"Mo,bern so;d said Clara, "do you
,ink Bobby ought ougn' 10 lounge In that
andsome chair ?" ha'r
"Certainlv not not, Bobby" ,aid his
=, ,provinplv 0vou ,niobt