davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18
The Dark Seorat,

The Dark secret has been abandoned.
Not the famous tank" drama of tina,
name, but tho little dory in which
Capt. VIM. A. Andrews sailed from
Boston some weeks ago. with Il fixed
determination to reach Queenstown, II
such thing were possible, and thus
break the record and the assertions of
the wiseacres as to the dimensions of
a boat in which it is possible to cross
the Atlantic.
The gallant captain held out well,
but was finally forced to abandon his
undertaking. Assistance was fortunate.
ly at hand. He was picked up by the
Norwegian bark Nor which arr ived
at Staplcton, StatenIsland. He dis
embarked at once and came to New
York by ferry.
Capt Andrews upon reaching the
city went direct to the Office of Funch'
Edge & Co., on South William street.
He was accompanied by Capt. Bjon.
the SIX pper of the Nor. The latter
said to a reporter for the WtI and
Express that he first sighted the dory
at IL A. NJ. of Aug. 16 She was then
in Latitude 46 Is. longitude 40. When
first seen she was about five miles to
windward and had all sails set The
people of the bark thought at first that
it was shipwreck crew. the lateen
sails OF the dorf resembling huge
black sail The bark hove to and the
Dark secret sailed slowly down to the
square rigger. AT eXact noon she
came alongside and then the master OF
the bark saw that the sole occupant
was too weak to climb aboard without
assistance. so he dispatched several
seanen to help the bold navigator on
board. Two other sailors were sta
toned at the bark side TO keep the
dory from breaking up. t ere be ne a
high see and strong northerly breeze
at the time.
After Capt Andrews had been taken
safely aboard the Nor, he asked her
people for the latitude and longitude.
This they refused to give being con-
WINGED that Capt. Andrews was too ex.
hausted to continue his perilous voyage.
Capt Andrews told the Nor's skipper
that he had not partaken of a warm
meal from the me of leaving Boston.
on June 1S. nor had he had full
nights rest He was in fearful con-
dition. his clothes hanging on his body
which was greatly emaciated. All his
oil skins were pla ed out and
he was wet to the marrow. His
boots. too, were full Of holes where
the water hnh eaten into them. Taken
on deck he could not stand aud he had
to be helpo INTO the bark's cabin. At
Capt. Bjon's suggestion he abandoned
the volngr 80 'hc dory was ho sted
on board a. M. where it still re-
mains.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18
Jaiicr James VI. Jenkins Holds the
Lucky Ticket and Gets His So 900.

Rome (Go.) Tribune of Rome July e.
Mr.. James NJ Jenkins is the popular
jailcr of Floyd county. Georgia.
He was So, GEO better OFF on last Satur.
day than the day previous
Hearing that Mr.. Jenkins held one.
tenth of ticket No. 47,843, which drew
the third capital prize of $50, 900 in the
Louisiana State Lottery, Il Tribune re-
porter called at the county Jail yesterday
to ascertain If the report was true.
Mr.. jenkins was found sick in bed, but
nevertheless happy man.
Mr.. jenkins preferred that the Tribune
say nothing of it, but as a matter of news
the public must have it.
He presented his ticket at the Southern
Express office on the 10Th INST. for col
lection and on Saturday last he got s., 900
in New York exchange. which was de-
posted to his credit in one of the city
banks.
When Mr.. Jenkins presented his ticket
at the express office he looked as if he
could hardly realize that it was ticket
No. 47,Si3. and when the S., 600 was
handed him by Manager Lowry on Sat
urday last. his heart leaped for joy. He
was the happiest man in Georgia.
Mr. jenkins is an honest. hard working
man, who enjoys the confidence of the
people, and this little fortune could not
have fallen into more deserving hands
than into hi.
Two years ago S15, 600 was drawn by
Rome parties at one time.
Rome is not only plucky, but lucky.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18
A Practical Demonstration.

".
IT,, aam,n;L,,,io , a.. r.;,
o ~ o'n ',Ln w. tno 'tDune
se i,. " ,,o lo'' lr''S was b'It'sh
su"i',. i'lIteS Ms 's2'"s eApeIieiiIc as
~ 'me ie,"'''e '',, ,H ,,Ie l"ie anu
p'm,,C,'V" ,t Da w ,n' p'HIip"t uis v,
-; u'o W NV ,i;. s"' 'ius u.n ~
~ STHto't " 'ns'' 'I,L po.oy Is 'nat
I!,i,'I c,S, u"' . ,,'h;Ia NY! III tne
Hr HMM 80 49, mn,'o 'neaG III "rIa'
,Dn,,T,.o Ivy p'"poSe :" ues'noy !ne
w.. ~" '"s .n,'tsl ~ uIuet W sl'e
h Wv pCmp' n,o,'I,i Io Co". ne i''oune
hu' pe"Scu, ,Hi. Tue ulter
9t"''I " u.s., va tn'e pte'e"s.Iu hle
W C G'","I,2 "; '"I uuuo my oe cheaper
49, 'hl' ~ 'n's C"unllS 'no
,Lom, lI mJ - 80 nt1SS Hne'pI. neie NAN
-r.'o - - ,r CD"p", 'nI PT,InaI
i,,S ro"os y, ,, .ie WIS VI tie bri''sh
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18
English Labor.
Now York Press

NcN lpEh TTtss
The writer Of this article has been over
the same ground and witnessed the same
sights. He has seen mothers, daughters
and mere children slave at the smithy
fires, at the anvilS, at the divers. and in
the brick-yards Of this Joyous land of
free trade and degraded labor Mr.. Nc.
Kay brings fOrCibly To mind the every
day AMI eyery-night scenes witnessed in
the districts around Birmingham. Heaven
forbid that the wives of American me-
chancs should ever be compelled 10 don
mems clothes and labor as these wretched
women do! II protection brought about
such results as this among our skilled
workmen the Press would demand in no
hestattng voice that it be swept away
forever And yet there are statesmen in
this country blind enough or insane
enough TO contend that our free and well.
paid lab r should be forced into open
competition with the labor of Countries
where women must toll side by side with
men, and sometimes side by side with
beasts Women in the regions described
Dy Mr.. Mckay have been known TO work
within few days of their confinement.
III the agony N exhaustion. in order to
earn a lew pence at the ''hearth"-not
The hearth OF home, but the hearth of
the FORGE they have been known to
return to work in day or two after
Childbirth, emaciated in constitution
weak and weary for want Of simple
nourlshment Their cnil lren ragged and
lH-ied, have had IL lead miserable and
WNfetched lives, with no hope before them
but life of wickedness aud vice. The
Iress can prove all This not only by Mr.
mckay letters. but by the leading Lon.
don Journals. The passage of the Mills
OIL, which abOlishes entirely one. sixth
OF all the protective duties and reduces
me duty % per cent. on the remaining
1'utlaoIe schedules, will take American
Iaoer good way on the road which
terminates with the employment of
woman as they are employed In Europe
LohS pelisses made Of big-yiowersd rich
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18

hazard of an experiment? Are working
men ready to abandon their comfortable
homes to live in tenements, to get down
from their buggies and walk are-footed,
TO eat meat on Sundays and mush the
rest of the week2 Let him who thinks
all this impossible go and live few years
in free trade countries.
They have great prosperity over there
in America" said Prince Bismarck. 1T
is owing to their tariff. Is it not time
for Germany to do likewise?" While the
greatest statesman Of modern times is
talking like that, thousands of short
sighted Americans are proposing to throw
away the greatest advantage we possess.
Let working men think twice before they
vote once this fall, and the spectacle of a
wise people committing business suicide
will not occur.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18

W. L. Douglas the best known shoe manu-
facturer in the world. was born at Plymouth.
Mass. Aug. 22nd 1915. When he was seven
years old he was bound ont TO learn the shoe
making trade. His early life was hard one,
but he did not complain He had an ambition
to lie master Of his trade; he worked hard
and learned all he could. Having saved o
little money by hard work at the bench he be-
gan to manufacture shoes at BTocktOn, Mass,
July 9Th. 1876 His knowledge Of the BUSH
ness gave him a great advantage over his
competitors. He worked hard and saved his
money; his business Gcgan to increase and in
May, 1883. his advertisement first appeared in
the papers, advertising w. l.. Douglas SO
Shoe He has since added several other
kinds. which he describes in his advertisement
that appears in this paper from time to time.
1t is a fact known by those who wear his
shoes that he gives more value for the money
than any other shoe manufacturer in this
country W. l.. Douglas factory is 1926 feet
long, 80 feet wide. 3 stories high; he employs
800 wOrkmen with a pay roll of $4,000 per
week. His sales are l,SO0 pairs per day; his
business is increasing very rapidly and will
reach over 81 900 coo this year. He pays the
highest wages paid in the city, and Is highly
regarded by those who work tor him. If you
are in want of pair of shoes it Will pay you
to 20 to Your dealer and examine a pair be-
fore you buy any other make. There Is one
thing certain. you will find his shoes the best
value for the price. and free from shOddy. W
l.. Douglas built up his reputation by making
honest shoes.
.tAE.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18
Very Complimentary.

A Frenchman having received the
photograph of lady, asked a friend
what was customary under the circum-
stances
"Compliment it," said the friend
"Tell her its beauty is very rare"
Il beg to make re acknowledging
madam he said to her at their next
meeting. Zee beauty of madame is yair
scarce."
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18

On Oct 9th and Esd Nov 9Th and 90
and Dec. 4th and 18th the Wabash
Western Ry. will sell land excursion
tickets at the low rate of one fare for the
round trip to the following points: Jack.
son, Tenn. Aberdeen, Artesa and Jack.
son, Miss; Chronicle, Ala. Hammond
Lake Charles. Jennings, La. These tick
cts are good for 60 days from date Of
sale and allows the holder stop-over prvi-
leges both going and returning. Farmers,
capitalists and others wishing to locate in
any of the Southern States will always
find it TO their advantage to take the
popular and cheap Wabash Route"
For full information call on or address
W. G. Martin, T. p. A.. Des Moines, Ia !;
l.. NJ Martin. Gen'l Agent, Des Mones, Ia
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18

Black Friday-That day, when person
IS first seriously attacked with rheumatism.
may well be termed black one: hut II he
uses Salvation Oil In time, he will soon be
able to speak ofa .'Good Friday" 1t is the
greatest cure on earth for pain.
The butcher does have some funny en-
pressions; he told his assistant the other day
to break the bones In Mr.. Williams chops, and
put Mr.. Smiths ribs in the basket for him.
and tell Mrs. Black to take DR.. Bulls Cough
Syrup for her cold
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18
OF No Use to Her.

Wife-What does this circus adver-
tiscment mean when it speaks of a
man with an iron Jaw!
observation-disclosures what it says. of
course.
Wife--Dear ne, don't know what
would d" If had an iron jaw
Husband You'd wear /, out in about
six months. Il nc0Lu Jur,tnk
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18
Revenge is Sweet.

Old Lady-Why are you not playing
ball with the other little boys?
Little Boy-I muffed or fly in de lef'
field, an de captn chucked anodder fell
Ter in me place.
Old Lady, wouldn't watch them play
il they treated me like that
Little Boy-I amt watchin' 'em play;
I'm waitn' till de games over ter lick de
canf'n
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18
An Editorial WO NV

Great Scott! exclaimed the rural
editor IN alarm. ii was suck with n
bogus dime last week, and now a
counlcrfc 500 bill has been put in
circulation. There's getting to be- IL.
together TOO much worrim Mt 0f mind
IN the newspaper business, -. So,yt,-
tom Us,Qd
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18
Will Have a Pleasant Visit

Il think l will get one of those for
nv little boy" said Brown. as he
stopped before fakir who was max
ing the day hideous W tn big wooden
rattle. The likes anything that will
make noise.
Then are you going up town."
mo. I've got to 90 TO the telegraph
Office first. NJ wife expect her mother
tomorrow and want to wire her that
I'll meet her at the station. "-Epoch.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18

at seeing her charms of face and form depart.
ing, and her health imperiled by functional ir-
Irregularities. at her critical period of life, was
turned to JOY and gratitude after brief self
treatment with Dr. Pierces Favorite PrescrIp-
ton. 1t purified and enriched her blood
gave healthy activity to the kidneys, stom-
ach, bowels, and other organs, and her return
30 robust health speedily followed. tits the
only medicine for women, sold by druggists,
under positiVe guarantee from the manu-
facturers, that it will give satisfaction in
every case, or money will be refunded. This
guarantee has been printed on the bottle
wrapper, and faithfully carried out for many
years.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18
Concerned About the Old Mans
Health,

"Ma," said Bobby. lis pa danger
ously exp"
No. Bobby. only little sick, that s
all"
We'll. Willie Wafil.s WIS braggR
round school to-day. that his pa was
dangerously sick. Don't you think,
Ma. that my pa will get dangerously
sick, too?"-EpJci.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18

"What a coward that Major. Smith is" said
Jones to Robinson, "wly, the very sight of
gun-powder would make him Ill. How did
he ever manage to become an officer in the
army?' Don't say anything against Smith,"
answered Robinson, ''he once saved my life."
"Saved your life! Nonsense, impossible! What
do you mean?" II mean that was in the
first stages of consumption; / was losing
rible disease, when Smith advised me to take
DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery. had
tried all kinds of medicines without success,
and my physician had given me no hope; yet
here am, as well as ever a man was, and
owe my life to Smith, and 10 the wonderful
remedy he recommended"
Ostrich tips and pIumes are extensively
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18

The Burlington Route. c.. b. & Q. r. T.,
will sell from principal stations on its lines. on
Oct. 9Th and 23d. Harvest Excursion Tickets
at Hair Rates to the Farming Regions of the
West, Southwest and Northwest. For tickets
and further information concerning these OK
cursons call on your own or any c., b. & Q.
Ticket Agent, or address p. $. Eustis, Gen'l
Pass. and Ticket Agent, Chicago
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18

Western Improved Singer Sewing Machines
just out of the Factory for SIS. 1t will pay
Illustrated Circulars to the Manufacturers, NJ.
II. Scullin&Co., 779 West Lake ST., Chicago, Ill.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18

When she was Child, she cried for Castoria,
When she became Mss she chung to Castoria,
When she Fad Children, she gave them Castora,
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18
WhatSCOtt' SEmulSiOnHaSDOne
Over rs Pounds Gain in 10 Weeks
Experience ofa prosninent Citizen
THE CALIFORNIA SOCIETY Il rHKl
SUPPRESSION OF VICE


SUPPRESSION OF VICE
SAN FRANcIaCo. July 7th, 1886.
/ took a severe cold u on
my chest and lungs and did
not give 1T proper atten.
ion;itdevelopedintob ron.
chitiS, and in the fall of the
same year l wa threat.
ened with consumption,
Physicians ordered me to
q more eongenial climate,
and came to San Francis.
co. Soon after my arrival
Ieommeneed aking Seott's
Emulsion Of Cod Liver Oil
with Hypophosphites reg.
ularly t rec times a day.
In ten weeks my avoirdu.
poiS went from 1856 to $50
pounds and over; the cough
meantime ceased.
c. r. BENNETT.
SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS,
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18

Why u Men are Impatient.
A fat mta is more likely TO fume and
fret with mpatience than lean one.
He thinks it is likely to reduce his
waffle ghunton Rspublican.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18

The dubious news is wired from England
that Patti is "medtating another farewell
tour" If true, it is high time for American
dollars to begin meditating on the same sub
lect,
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18

tuttlng a Premium on Betting
1t may be W cked 10 bet, but It
needn be yer, expensive Ibis year. A
tall white hat has been made tosell
for a dollar. -LoweH Courier.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18

One thing may be said In favor Of politi-
clans barres-the fruit is uniform in size
from top to bottom -a
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18

fIVt I1O5
made by Warner of Safe Cure fame.
Regulate the regulator with Warner 8
Log Cabin SarsaparIlla.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18
Half Rate Excavations.

The first of the series of Harvest Excursions
via. the Missouri Pacific Ry. and Iron Noun
tain Route to Kansas, Nebraska, Arkansas
and Texas left Aug. 2lst; others to fol-
low October 9th and 23d. Tickets will be
sold at one fare for the round trip with a
limit ofthirty days to return and amp.e stop
over privileges.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18

Six weeks since attacked with Erysipelas;
nv eyes nearly closed, my head and face terri
bly, inAamed. Two bottles of Hibbard's Rheumatic
syrup cured me. b. +. KNAPP, Wolcott, N. Y.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18
A Young Girls Grief

The yeast of greed threatens to raise the
price of bread
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18
Farmers Land Excursions,

Every dog has his day, and just now the
political pointer is in active demand.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18

man died in Baltimore last week from
the effect OF falling asleep with his chin hang
ing over the rim of q ccluloid collar.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18

ColOred linen collars and cuffs of the finest
Quality are worn abroad.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18

Braidlng Is without question the favorlte
trimming of the season
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18

Don't hawk, and blow, and spit, but use DIR.
Sage's Catarrh Remedy
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18

LOG CABINS. lacking ele.
gance, were yet comfort.
able homes. Health and
happiness were found in
them. The best OF the
simple remedies used are
given to the world in War.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18
TIE MYSTERY SOLVED.

Ribbons for hat trimmings vary from two
inches to a quarter of Il yard in width.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18
HlBBARD'S RHEUMATIC SYRUP,

Containing POKE, BURD0CK, MANDRAKE,
CULHERS ROOF, and others of the best
Blood Remedies, very carefully and Scien-
tifcaIy compounded, strikes at the root of
the evil and eradicates the disease, whether
of Scrofuious, Rheumatic or Synthetic
faint. 1t is never failing remedy.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18

Among the new fall suitings are number
of rOnoh sha1gy tWeeds.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18

Ostrich tips and pIumes are extensively
used on fashionable hats.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-10-18

Wv W" rheumatism for years, and
Salt Rheum has been nearly all over my body
except from Hitbards Rheumatic Syrup. | could
lie in bed night. Have taken ten bottles, and
am now a well man. 1t is truly great blood puri-
fer. NELSON MooKE,
Wolcott, n. Y.
The Red Cloud chief., 1888-12-28
-sEESEIESS
A Feeling which Hs,rsys wsskosss az .
Mos: Dcspiesb;r Character.

"c are suffering under IN"
pressure Of di-tres~os. whether
they be OF regular continuance. or
have come upon - ~ "A ssldcu. Ne an,
apt to imagine that 70 individual Ia
the surrounding gorid Is So ~uniortas-
nate as &c are. or. perhaps. that va
siaaG altogether by ourselves Ia caiam-
~. or. q; }he most. belong 20 a small
BODY 81 lzfortgaales. forming an e.
cagsie 81 Ls r-i - mankind
we ne-hb,r. and. <a~ia.
TIA. - ai,h aag OPEN
or pa asl maks no
comp.aia - a., hisa.,a
from orr .i- tsa. n. {.
q raaa add thor.
oEghly han SRI acTe-
free from . or a.
oshe-, AL. H. i~ q very
ssepchidran a. Pe
For evc~v
sa,s e we aa4 etr.r I.
r. soeo.H- -,
oAssr r~re3a tee u fuw.
ps~gsts. al3 r-. - "a! e.
-. q o. Ar xe eos-
dersras =, a.- t74 ~ a. daily
b-~aa. tasa. we !sssr 50 hius xho r.in.
!: sons Eselss which - pear 20 -
les l~abo-ieas hare - n,,ls .,
vo-.Sy wealth. ta~u ID &c conpa-n
ourselves ri.h tha n@u-1i maa who
~; oa,y coaaszas au sssss n-s-
The Red Cloud chief., 1888-12-28
full Or FUN.

-raken The indlas are
The BIS: rcd rsee - Ia ~crid-
The - = Husband / tAs
one who 81 e. als wiie's pic 80 ~
DO, 90 hgsi he- !Sel.aSs-4ceAasS
srsresr.
Child (,o "a hllr--a judge, deep
II his paf1r.)-U.. papA ny yrasss
stole ~c-arler." Jedse-"rea d.,s.'
-T.H.r.
-SAc-"Oa, Arthur. sAat ao sha
poor COW brys IL Tcxas 90 when they
want a girl 10 t&sG TO- Iic-rG.'e IL
~. t. the,r .sos. rrobably-"-Sex
Aarc5. Ncus.
-'l)0n't sou know. f.;nily. tina; & 10
not proper FOR yoa % ia,a around And
look after i g~sut,enan2' BAT, NAM
ma, | was oaiy lookiag 20 sssn hs was
booking 10 sce II was looSing."A
F.icgchafc Gst,cr.
Some people who have Observed
tha. medicine ordered by tho doctor
i seldom more than hall used zee
ahead of The druggist by finding QUA
what he charges FOR the whole prc-
scrip;lpn ard then ordering half OF IL
-"Aunty." said a little New Jersey
boy who was on n yisi,. Il thought
you said you didnt have any mosqui-
toes IN this part of tho country. W.
don't. dear Bot | can hear them
singing just - they do a; home No.
Tommy; that is a saw-mlll you hear"
-Narper's BA:dr.
-Lawyer-"iou say you made an
examination Of thu premises. What
did you rnd?" Nitncss-"Oh. moth
ing Of consequence '~heggariy sc-
count Of empty boxes ~ Shakespcare
says" Lawyer-"Nevcr mind what
Shakespeare said. He will be sum-
moucd and testify for himself. II he
Knows any thing about the case"
Johnnie wish I lived in Sonsh
America" Mother-"Why. Johnnic?'
1.-The mainmas down there don't g
any slippers ''lcs, my son. but you
must also remember that the little
boys IN South America DO not wear
any pants." That's 80. It's queer
tina. / mover thought about that
Texas Sitting.
lie Cat Saratoga. teadoriy)-"I
think I have met you before. Miss
Smith. Yolr iace Is familiar. Sho-
(coldlO-"Ycs. sir, and those goods
that you warranted would wash ] tried
to give nway 20 my maid" And then
the silence became so wide and solemn
that you could hear them pumping gas
into tho mineral -prings.-Lyc.
Here IS q preventive Of sea sick
ness recommended by 4 London sharp:
Hold your breath and contract your
abdominal muscles" But. good gra-
cious, no man can hold bis breath and
keep bis abdominal muscles puckerod
up all tho was from Liverpool! 10 Bos-
ton.-EostoH Trau.scriyt
-Judse-">o you stole "A sandwich
from the lunch counter In "A railway
station. dil your ~Tramp-"Ycs, your
honor" Judgo-W cre you hungry
Tramp-"No, your honor Judge
''Tben what service could the sand
wich do youa' Tramp wanted u
half-sole my boots w!;a il. -FOUR honor"
-BoS50s btigei.