Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1888-09-27
airalnia fire. gress,
WIT md HUWOR.

body
''Snagsby, you are Presuming upon my
credulity. You never killed one hundred
and fay rabbits in one day" wilkins,
assure YOU have no, deyiated hare from
the truth.
The latest style Of engagement ring rep
resents a square lump of sugar Of chased
gold. with heart beside it. Most girls
would rather have sweetheart spelled with
solitaire diamond.
An Irisbmau took the cars at Boston tor
Worcester On jumping from the cars he
remarked that eff he had known he could
have made the journey in so short time
he would have walked afoot.'
She lin great agitation l-"Oh, George,
hear papa at the front gate, and he is very
apt to be impulsiye when he comes home
latew
He lreassuringly )-"Calmyour fears, dear.
Pm in the coal business, you know and he
has owed the firm money for coal for over
nine months"
An Indiana justice of the peace who had
twenty-seven Of his twenty-eight decisions
reversed by the higher Court has resigned
In OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES. Hesays
that the professional courtesy which used to
be distinguishing feature Of the Bench and
Bar has entirely petered out aud that a JUS
tice of the peace Of to-day is Of no account.
Millionaire entering sanctuml-"Ha!
Ha! old boy. how do you do to-day "
Editor-in-Chief .iu a whisperl-"S-sh
Don't speak so loud
M.-"Wby not
E.-"The baseball reporter is writing his
report in the next room, and he has just
given me orders that he is not to be dis
turbed either by callers or by noises
A citizen stood in an unsteady way saz-
ing at front door ON Firs, street the other
night and another belated who passed that
way halted and asked
Looking for the key-hole, old fellow %.
"Chee-hole"
yes"
''No, EUR. I've goz way beyond That sur.
Pm looking oror door itself sheems to
be too many of cm here
of course on such a bright morning she
couldn't resist calling around to see how
many friends had returned from vacation.
''Why. Cicely. DEAR" she exclaimed, so
you. too have returned 2' "Ie-es, IL
that Is. I hayu't been away "But you
have beautiful tan on your complexion "
cob. YES. That cost me twenty-five cents,
while a vacation would have cost S125. I'll
have new cloak his tlll, and you'll have
TO fix mp your old one It was cool
enough to put the cloaks on Immediately.
Little Johnny Frizz'etop got the idea
into his head from attending Sunday schoo.
that he could get anything he wants by sim-
ply praying for IL. A few evening, ago
while engaged in hi, deyo,.ou- De prayed
for a base bal', a pony, new -uitof-uuday
clothes. q shotgun. quarter OLA do.arand
various other things which he needed.
Whle johnny $500, thus praying bis brother
Tommy burst into tears and ,aidiu auasou
lied voice: Mamma please make Johnny
stop. Hei- praying everything away from
me-"
They were in the parlor, occupying one
chair. with but q single thought They had
discussed the tariff, the Irish question, the
sleighing. the opera. the weather and other
important topics till conversation wa, about
tagged out After long pause;
"Ducky ."
"Whatty .'
edo You think I am making any progress
in counting
swell, I should say you were holding
your own
Tableau
"And soyou'ye married q jewel, have you,
Tom" 81 have. for fact, Dick She's a
gem without a flaw BLESS You. my boy.
hope you'll always be happy" cob, I
know will Her cooking is like a taste of
glory" Lucky dog I'm glad to hear it;
but you're man En- q million Mighty few
90 it blind and fare as well as you've done. %
81 didn't 60 IL, blind" You don't mean
to say you knew she could cook before you
committed yourself" That's just what I
did my boy GLOW did YOU ever find it
ont 7'' "T eu,r1,y.I e. detective and lo