The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1888-03-08
rUs AT THE ARMoRY.
Mirth.Provoking scenes and Side.Spllt-
ting Predlcaments In the Old
"Deestrict school,"

There will be an entertainment ct the
Armory next Saturday night that for
genuine, unadulterated fun promises not
only to capture the cake, but to bank
rupt the whole bakery. A representa-
ton Of an old.fashioned "deestrict"
school will be given--not by children,
but by ladies and gentlemen from town
dressed and fully equipped as veritable
school children from deestrict No. II. It
seems the teacher was not giving entire
satisfaction, and the Directors had ad-
vertised for another to take her place by
putting up dirty half sheets Of fools-cap
paper on all the trees at every cross-road
in the deestrict, on which deacon Way
back" one of the Directors, had written
the following:
''The Board of Directors of Skool Dee
strict No. II are authorized to hire q
teecher for the spring session, which
commences March 10th, at the Armory
Hall. She must be woman, sound in
body and intellect, not afraid to use the
rod. Wages SO per month and board
round.
"EouIRH KICKER,
"DEACoN WAYBAcK, ~
"DEACoN SLowCoAcH, 80
"CoL. Nooo, :.
aDirectors."
In the meantime the Directors con-
clude to visit the school in order that
they might see for themselves whether
there was just cause to turn the teacher
off or not. They make this visit Friday
afternoon. The teacher has arranged
for some special exercises, as was wont
at that time in the old deestrict school,
and the representation at the Armory
next Saturday night will be Friday af-
ternoon's exercises in the school, with
the Directors present as visitors.
Mrs. J. j. Pugsley is teacher, and with
school Of the latest, thinnest, tallest
and shortest people in town the fun
commences. The infant class, composed
ofpersons weighing two hundred pounds
and upwards, will be one of the promi.
rent classes in school. Members of this
class will be called upon to sing little
songs and speak cute little pieces, such
as, "You'd scarce expect one of my age
to speak in public on the STAGE" ETC..
Roy Brown and Pike Gore are twin
brothers, who get into various amusing
predicaments. These twins render the
new and classical drama entitled "Ned,
Can You Hop r" or "The Chambermaid's
Own" in truly marvellous manner.
The consumate skill and polished grace
in Pixies hop" never fail to elicit
storms Of applause from the enraptured
audience. Henry Virgins, as the young
est member of the infant class, is sure
to bring down the house.
Prof. VIM. Heron, as Senior Brignol,
conducts the singing class in q manner
that shows the Senior is up in sharps.
Captain Hiestand, as "Little JOSIE"
comes forward after much coaxing by
the teacher and recites a pretty little
poem ON "Marine Cremation" or "The
boy stood on the btrning deck.'
Little E. R. Pierson becomes absolute
ly unmanagesble, and is finally dismiss.
ed in disgrace. The Directors "put in"
every once in awhile, and the reprimand
DR.. Fullerton gives the teacher is q
wonderful example of speech-making.
"Italia with Variations" will be pro-
duced by this school for the first time
in America. In addition to the exer-
cises by the school, Mr.. Henry Thomp-
son will give selection on the flute,
accompanied by Miss Bechtolt on the
piano and Miss Dill on the violin. Good
vocal music will also be furnished. Miss
Fannie McKeehan will give q very
charming rendition of"The Last Hymn"
All in all, the entertainment promises
to be rich, rare and racy, and the intrin-
sic value OF the show, together with the
object in giving it, ought to fill the hall
to overAowing. Let everybody come
who would give 35 cents for good cause
and at the same time have more fun
than you can shake stick at.