Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-03-15
IrEsr: OF IgpEREsT.

iErt.s VI - hAlI.3 3,
TIE sweets OF ma'.ied III, should j
never be Kept In family jars.
A maa who ia Il natural genius can !
conduct himself that he will be taken
for tool.
Scorn not a fellow man, there Is some
spark Of good vet left in every man,
even though he be lying in verieSt mire.
Printers ink has made more fortunes
than ever have been made on all the
stock exchanges and in all the gold
mines in the world.
There Is probably but one thing
which is harder to do than get out OF
warm bed III the morning, and that is
TO get into cold bed at night.
Philosophers have noticed that when
man makes up his mind that he has
got to practice economy he generally
tries to begin with his wife's expenses.
Six species of North American birds
have become extinct i'll the last ten
years. and it is believed that the pesky
little English sparrow has had great
deal to do with it.
Ruskin says, MAN should resemble
river" We do not know what he
means. but suppose the reason is that
in order TO amount to much In society
he should own couple of banks.
If all the land was leveled Oft into the
sea in the effort to I'll up the hollows in
the ocean beds, water two miles deep
would cover the entire surface OF the
globe, and some one would get wet.
Bobby was inspecting the new baby
for the first time and his dictum was
as follows: FL spose its nice enough
what there is of it," be said, without
enthusiasm, but I'm sorry it amt a
parrot"
Over 1900 skunk skins went out of
Scranton, Pa, for Germany the other
day, where they will be made into gren-
adler caps. Bismarck does not like
American pork. but he is all serene on
the skunk question.
Gentleman, to tramp-"Why do you
ask for only penny, my man? Most
of you people want nickles and dimes"
Tramp-"Y es, sir; but I'm new hand
at the business, an / want to begin
right; make it dime, though, if you
like"
In days Of old when nights were cold,
and snow III billiards few. warrior
bold said: lis this cold, is't it cold
enough for your We grabbed him by
the hair; we smashed him with chair:
we climbed his frame and knocked him
lame. and filled him with despair.
When the mercury is knocked down
and trampled under foot by thirty be-
low cold wave the warmly housed fat
man is momentarily filled with glad
ness. Then. alas, comes the saddenin2
after thought that it would bob up Sc
renely into the ninetieS again with the
return Of summer.
| Volapuk for bride is il jam. Now
isn't that musical. Just think of say
: ing "Oh! thou sweet and lovely il jam,
come to my arms that | may impress
upon thy ruby lips kissY' and she in
return, Thou canst not, nobie jim jam
which is supposed to Ice Eolapuk fOI
. bridegroom. For Il spell yet We shall
/. cling to English,
: Tombstone dealer Ito widow I have
: second hand stone madam, witch
can make quite Il reduction on Widow
any inscription OH Tombstone deal
er-Simply, THE good die young" Wi
dow (contemplatiyely) -Let-me see
William was nigh onto 80, but | don't
s'pose the inscription would make any
difference you fix the price right.
1t was in Dakota court room and
the Judge wound up his address To The
jury as follows: II don't deny that the
= pris'ner done the shootin' gentleman
but think of the provocation. TIL,
corpse was pastin' up bills from
Bosting firm that said, DO Yo Wear
Pants?' And. begosh, the pris'ner just
riz up and seq he, No, sir | YEA
breechesr And then he shot," Verdict
, mot guilty"