New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-10-27
THE Talk OF THE DAY.

An old bachelor says that no rather likes comicsl
baby, but he objects when IL becomes screamins
farce.
Fond of Manufactured Dame-My goodness stoy
ehasln' the COW, yafey she amt done no harIn
Jakey~Tts all right, ma let me chase her some
more so we Kin have milk shake for supper-CPhila-
telphIa Record.
1t has been noted that there are only three or
four chance illusions 70 America and American life
In Robert Elsmere,' although tho seething religious
unrest which It displays is more noticeable in America
than in England
Occasion for Alarm" Men, said the captain Of
tho steamer 10 the frightened passengers budding
about him, it IS true that we are not gaining on
the leak, but we only fifty miles from land,
and II we can 9T r. nn OCCASION oyo Gos s
alarm. We have several hundred casks Of rum In
No occasion FOR alarm :, exclaimed a tall Kentuck-
Ian, turning pale with apprehension captain. do
you intend TO throw that rum overheard "-lChlcaso
Tribune.
Some gossips in Rhode Island are saying that Mrs.
Peabody Wetmore's alleged snub Of the Prince Of
Wales may yet make her husband United states
Senator.
About other Sunday some preacher ds s,1 q;
Hutchinson takes as his text: ;" re Are t.e EAR OK
all stand up aud say What's the matter win Hutch
Insoni she's all right yon be, And ne, then hey
renee (Kan) Tribune
It IS getting so now that the better class Of Eu-
ropean monarchs can afford TO travel in luxurious
cars as those which usually built for American
theatrical stars.
Gerald Massey is coming to this country to lee
be pinlng TO hear lectures on Neo Nauralistc sub
iects, but don't think they will create as much
enthusiasm through the winter as baseball did during
tho summer-(NorIistown Herald.
The London Telegraph, has received 81 600 Letters
In answer to Mrs. Calrd's question Is Marriage
Failure p
STRANGE
She had learned the French OF Greene
(By herself, and, quite serene,
She bought ticket, costly as It was, for
Cocqueleen.
Most assiduous she'd been
wholly unassised) in
The abstruse pronunciation of the tongue Of
Cocquelin.
She could construc and define,
(Taught by AIM She knew she'd shine
AS welequtpped, apprccativc Judge Of
COcqueline.
She rejoccd twas coming soon,
Tho eventful afternoon.
Coqueloon.
But remarkable to tell,
Since she knew the tongue so we'll.
From the rising Of the curtain to the point Al
which II fell
Though she really didn't see
How strange a thing could be
The solitary syllable she understood was ouLs
Emma A. Opper, in Puck
Richard Jackson, Of Dubuque, Iowa, has had 2ss
bols during the last five years. After so many bots
he ought TO be about done.
First sophomore-How do you manage to get yorr
lessons SO wei without . boning'
First sophomore-Private lntuition.-(Burling ton
Free Press.
An amateur chemist wants to know II whiskey will
dissolve gold. No. sonny, but It will make IL dis
appear
tn Aus GGG Kari Godmark was COM
It's quarters near HIS house at Grinden and pro
Of The punishment Goidmark would inlet upon an
/ allan organ grinder IL the latter TO stop under
his window and play sweet VoletST-(Norrlstown
Herald
lie ION the brink of a proposaD-r like your charm
ing sex much, you know; but really, don't
know how TO take woman.
She Willing to help him onl-I think can tell you.
Howl'
"For better or for worse'
Tommy-My father is a church member.
Tommy-But my father says your papa amt, COS
he don't never come TO church, nor put nothin' In
Johnny bravely)-wen my papa is an honorary
member, and honorary members don't chip ln-lLoweli
Citizen.
when man IS going ont TO the races be calls
them pointers When he comes back he calls them
dsappointers.'
palatEa. The first order was: Ship at once forty
Kegs and six barrels OF beer'-(Palatka Herald.
Senator Turpe says that he can answer for Indiana
Well. that IS moro than Indiana do for Senator
Turpe.
Midnight mysteries -Paterfamas (sternlyI-Sesms
to ne you are becoming quite interested In that
Mr.. Goodfellow,
Daughter gdemurely)-why, pa, he Is houcly enough
10 stop clock.
"Ah That, then, may account for the fact that
when he is here in the evening you never know what
time IL is"(Philadelphia Record.
Says "The Methodist Tlmes,' of China: Chinese
Christians ought to be allowed to use tea at the ad-
ministraton OF the Lords supper And IL adds that
this opinion " IS Endorsed by the Church Of England
Bishop Of Hong Kong, and some OF the experienced
and enlightened Missionaries
Appearances are Deceltful-Stranger TO rather
seeuy looking old Gormanl-l would like 10 see the
proprietor OF this establishment.
Old Maxwell, SIR, vos dot proprietor.
stranger (dubously)-You don't tell me sol
Old Man-Ya, dot Dye think dose tan
1901 clerks NIT deere cigarette smokin' dere boss
OF dis place y-CIhe Epoch.