Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1888-07-15

nave 10 large extent hccOinpil9ncu 'nei
object. inasmuch AS they can thus avoi'
most OF the evils alleged to be connected
with citizenship in New York. At th'
same time all of them live here thu
greater part OF the year and only occa
sionally visit country homes.
WADE wuIPPLE's wHIMs.
For the Dispaich.l
$50 you've been abroad, have you
Mr.. Lackey How did you enjoy TIT
trip, pray ? Did things come up 10 you
expectations during the voyage
"Come up? Well, sho1Id articulate
They didn't do anything else but com'
up"
"Uncle. I'm looking for boy to as
sist me on my farm. Have you one yol
can recommend ?"
"Yessir, dar's my boy ZekaL Hei
spry's dey make 'em. sab,
livery good but is he honest? vii
he take anything that doesn't belong tc
him 2"
"No stree, sab. Anything dat boy git
holt on, hits sho' ter belong ter i'm
sah."
"Isn't the church to be opened Thu
morning, Mr.. Sexton !? "
"No, sir.
"Closed for repairs, eh ?"
"Not repairs to the church, sir, bu
the pastor has gone to be repaired. He'i
got leave of absence for ten days to &c
out to Oregon and get his second wife.
"Charlie, why do You put muzzle OF
that pug? He'd never bite any one
would he 2"
"No, cir; no danger Of that, but Their
Sis an the other girls keep hssin' hin
so that I put the muzzle on to protect
the pug"
"Is this all the butter you have in the
house, Mrs. Cater p
Eyes Mr.. Transient, and as our gro
Ger will not be along again to-day | wlsf
you would make it go as far as You can.
Indeed / will, Mrs. Cater, with plea
sure" "opens window and throws buttel
into On adjoining chicken-yard). "Ihere
and il it hadn't been for that outer fence
| could have made it 60 little farther
than that even."
"What are you going to do with tina
dress, Tommy ?"
ooh. I'm Just going to take it down il
the yard to prove that mother don't know
everything"
"My, what has put you up to tina
move 2"
"Well, you see 1 heard her tellin' Mis-
Dainty that che was disappointed in thl
dress because it wouldn't light up well
I think it will; leastways | think | car
fetch her with little tar and kerosene.
Good day, Mrs. Granger Can
see your husband ?"
Not at present. Mr.. Canyasser. My
husband has been put to bed with wha
our old hardHint of a doctor denominatei
the 'cyclopean cupola,
"Pm sorry. I'm introducing a new
rock drill, and thought"
"Oh, don't mention il. He's owing
his present condition to n rye-and-roch
drill he participated in at the lodge last
night, and | guess that will do him fol
awhile"
"Doctor, would like to know what's
the matter with me. | havo such feel
ing of construction and pressure at my
chest all the time. Sometimes | ina
CINE / may have an aneurism or some
thing of the sort"
Don't worry, my dear boy. Obser
walton of your regular visits IN certain
quarter convinces me that If your heart
is affected at all it is with what may be
termed Betsyanneurism."
"Did you SEQ Mrs. Totten's friend al
the party last evening, Mrs. Buck
wheat ?"
"Yes'm, l did sit look or two al
her."
"Rather an impressive face, she has,
don't You think Her nose is decidedly
aquiline.
Don't say / could see there was
something the matter with it, but /
didn't knew what. Thought, bows'ever,
that ef it was mn nose I'd take it to the
hospital and have it sot.
First cook: "Nory, it's me own no
ton, so it is, that mebbe we'd be better
of in Caaady."
Second cook: "For what rayson,
Bridget darlint 2"
First cook: "Becaze, moind We, OF
do be hearin' 'em say there's no extra
aishin there at all, at all. Sure an its
tho extra-dishin ov these coorse dinners
in Ameriky that makes loife so borden
some, do yez moind. >"
"Who of all the gentlemen present at
the entertainment last evening did you
consider the best dressed, Miss Witty ?"
"Mr. Paunchus, by all means"
"Mr. Paunchus? How SO ?"
"Why, his Incompatible rotundity
made him the swell gentleman Of the
party; didn't it ?"
Dickey (who likes to stump Uncle
Bob: "Say, Uncle Bob, you know
something about law phrases. What
does it mean when you read in the paper
about a judge giving an cr.parte deci-
sion?"
Uncle Bob (who won't be stumped and
mixes his wisdom impromptu): "Wel,
I'm astonished to know that you're not in
formed on that point. thought every
one knew what that meant. Anner-
party decision is nothing more nor less
than a proclamation of wedlock. When a
Judge annexes one party to autobiography,
and proclaims the result, that proclama-
ton is what the law denominates amer
party decision.
Dentist: 81 always like to make my
patients as pleased as may be when they
come to be operated on, so here's a
conundrum for you. Why am 1 like q
political exhorter at the beginning OF a
?"
Victim "Because-because-you're
looking into the jaws of-of-"
Dentist (siming forceps at the