The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-02-04
A TALK WITH BILL WYE.
New York Graphic.

It was luncheon time at Cables in Park Place. Tine upper place was crowded with gulping gastronomists, each eating on railroad schedule time. The buzz of conversation, the rattle of knives and forks and the dull thud of the cashiers voice as he refused to -'put it on the slate" vibrated the at- mosphere. The door opened and a lank, lean man entered in hesitating way that betokened either an unfa- miliarity with the paths of civiliza- tion, or a narrowing fear that the dinner check might overshadow his cash accounts. He glided to vacant seat, and in a touchingly confiding manner hung his overcoat on the inner wall. He removed his hat.
 And then a hush fell on the assem- bled multitude.
 Walters stood in their tracks as though palsied with fear. Pea laden knives remained suspended between teeth and table. The soup turned cold. And why? It was only bald head that the uplifted hat had dis closed. But there was no compro- mise about its cranial nudity. It was a sight calculated 10 make angels weep. It's badness was bold, bad and deliberate. From ear to ear and from bulging forehead cranical vertebra there was nothing to relieve the dull monotony of the baldness-nothing except remarkable, scarcely visible growth of young and colorless bris- ties.
 It was Bill Nye.
 recognized him from McDougall's portraits of him in the World, pie lures that the world-the world with a small "w"-look upon as carica- lures, but which in fact are flattering counterfeit presentments of the orig inal. When I had recovered from the state of mental pctrefaction into which the sudden exposure of his dome of thought had cast me, ap- preached the noted humorist, deter mined at all hazards to wrest from him the fell secret whereby he carves his humor into shape. That, you know, is the latest literary fad to have famous writers make public confess sion of their methods of manufacture.
 But first word as to Bill Nye.
 Bill Nye's real name, strange to re- late, is William Nye. That may not seem surprising, and yet it is, for the adoption of a false name is trait that literary men and burglars bear in common. The man who is responsi- ble for this discovery is Edward D. Cowan, who is now shadowing James G. Blaine in Europe in the interest of the Chicago News. Cowan was con- nected with the Denver Tribune at the same time that the crimson crested poet of the wild west, Eugene Field was also illumining it's pages. In looking over the exchanges Cowan's attention was frequently attracted by side-spliting paragraphs which ap- peared in distressed looking sheet called the Laramie Boomerang. h. vestigation resulted in the discovery that they were the free contribution of Boomerang compositor named Bill Nye. O. H. Rothacker, the ed itor of the Denver Tribune, SO dazed the newly discovered humorist with a magnificent offer of salary of S25 a week that Nye left the printing case and plunged in the maddening whirl of literature.
 Now the World is his oyster, and he only a little more than thirty years of age and bald headed at that
 When l told him why l would hold converse with him he looked at me with a pitying sort of smile, and said: "Would you train men to be like me?" Not noticing me shudder he continued: "Would you have Americans become race of humor- ists? How sad then this world would be! How dreadful to contemplate Better nip some of them in the bud and lessen the number. An sir, you do not know the dreadful reponsibil- ity which weighs me down and which has made me bald ere my time. Let me confess to you, sir that would not dare be as funny as can. The possibilities of the result are too fearful to consider even for a moment. No, sir, leave me to carry my burden alone"
 "Why, my dear, sir" I exclaimed "this sort of thing will never do. II is your duty as literary man, to tell the public at what hour you go to bed, what you dream of, at what hour you arise, what you eat, when and how you work and how much you pay the butcher weekly. Let the se- cret of your humor, if you will, re- main a secret still"
 "Well," he said wearily, :'that which you ask is easily answered. l pursue calm peaceful, uneventful, il fact, a model life. Igo to bed with the lark and rise with the evening cock. bird. If my dreams would as. sume visible form Phineas T. Barnnm