The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-11-14
plTH AND POINT,

Our northern forests are slowly pitl
ing away.
A Stump speaker-"Mister, giveeH I
the butts"
To remove paint-Sit down on it 4
fore it is dry. --'',
The ancient marryin' 'er-Janua|
wedding May. ssg|
Men SOW their wild oats and womI
sew their tares.
The exercising of horses just beforS
race is the preamble.
If young lady's maiden aim is 81
cessful she has no maiden name.
The chiropodist should take !
aquatic excursions on :owboat.
The miser's heart must indeed be ma|
of marble, there is so little give toit.
The heat of debate is apt to cause
GOODNESS between friends.-NeD Y
Sun.
The man who has lost his left arm 4
a left arm that is right arm.-Hdyrc
Bazar.
Words generally express themsely
But do they pay the express charga
M1 York Sun.
A mud puddle has great many poi1
for people to fall down and admire.
Luih Tidiags. kss
WHY is it easy to get in an old maj
housei Because his gait Is broken 9
his locks are few.
"The male is late tonight" as
woman said when she got up at 9 q.
to let in her husband.
When does the rain become
familiar to lady3 When it begins 70
her (patter) on the back.
A nurse girl should fully realize q
It is her attention to the little thur
which makes her work success.
Bsgone. thou vile anschrouismi
Skip, thou poor, wan thing on, scatl
Vamoose the ranch, allez vous en-,
Thou aged, pallid hat
The annual crop of coal Jokes 10 N
being broken up into the chestnut 81
MANY q basket is waiting to rece}
them.
It is estimated that there are 1000,
vagrant dogs in Rome. That is VI
makes Rome howl.-Binqhamton
publican.
Kansas Teacher. .-'Where does
our grain go to2" Scholar.-'anto
hopper" What hopper! Grasshopp
-Syti"os.
Physician - seWhat's the matte
Patient "Rhcumatics. Physician
"Cause2" Patient-"Attic rooms.
Bo,ton Courier.
This is funny old world, any hd
but it is very hard to realize 1t VI
you are reading the comic papers
SomeroiUe Journal.
A physician has discovered that
older a man grows the smaller his OF
becomes. This explains why the you
men know everything.
"Johnny, give the parts
the verb to grind" Johnny (sh
stop in his ninel--"Grind, grou
grouuder. ."--Detroit Free Press.
Little Boy-"I say, mister, do
know why you are like waterP
man-"No, my little boy, ! do No
"Neither OF you can run up hill"
Promptly chirrups tho CHEEKY chime
In the tower around the block,
The only thing behind the time
H'ns 0a'A u 'n' ''' ~Sitsns
Barber.-"How do you like to h
your hair cut, sir9" Mickey Finn
"Wid de scissors, az coorse! Dye
poshe Oi wanted ye to take scythef
Juigt.
Young Physician (who has just los
pst:ent, to old physician)-"Would
advise an autopsy, doctor~ Old L
sician-"No; | would advise an
quest"
Ethel--"O, papa, did you see the
parlor lamp Aunt Julia sent mes
the latest thing out" Papa st
be Sunday nights, anyway.-7srre II
Express.
E. Cuthberton Gregg, Esq. (enum
ting the characteristics of his family
"Yaas. Now, my brother Fwed,
the pwactical one; he carwies poo
p:ncushion. ."--Lye.
1.-The trouble with pa" said
Eenrlcy, 'sis that he lets little th
worry him He WAS mo this morn
because the baby kept him awake
n,ght."-Murper's Basr. "
End Man.-"William, can you tel
why a man sitting on a redhot stow
like q man who has gone to heav,
Middle Mani don't know,
Bones. Why Is a man sitting on q
hot stove like one who has gone
heavcnf" End Man-"He's better
"Chinchin" is the Indian word
"The young man who sets out to
the scalp of an enemy,is met by o
and told to return and comes back EN-
handed to tell big story" Why
we get some suoh short word to exl
our feelings towards tho chap who
he will pay 1t back BY Saturdays