The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-08-17
WIT N

III the greatest pleasure in life is the
pleasure of anticipation. the Young
mans tailor ought to be the happicsto of
men.-LineoM Journal.
There are soiiie Americans who; II
they Vent to Roris; Would ask the bar
Der to arrange their hair with d efta;
comb.-LtncoM Journal.
Old lady Ito convict)-Do they allow
You to read the Bible, my poor man?
Convict (bittcrly)-Madam, they make
me read it.-NcW York San.
Niaga,tsa, t'atls landlord Ito guestj-
"Shall l have your bill made out, sif?"'
Guest-"Ah, no, not vet, not vet: let
me have one more look at the falls!"-
Epoch.
Rimmel, the London pcrfumcr, left
an estate worth 800. 900. Another case
of taking care of the scents and the
dollars taking care Of themselves
Washtagt6n Cfttit.
Gus Con the avcnue)-"What's YOU;
hurry, Jack?" Jack (brcathlcss)-
''For Gawd's sake. Gus. don't dctain
me. It's 4 o'clock. and I've got my 2
o'clock suit on."-Epoch.
She Cat Monmouth Park)-That is a
beautiful animal. George. He-Yes,
he is d sbr bf bungfellow; .!Shc--in-
deed, | can easily believe it. such poe;
try of motionP-NcW York San.
There 5000, 900 farmers in the Unit
ed States today, saying nothing of the
hired men who o o among the corn
rows and wake up now and then to
yell ut the oxen.-Dct10it Fics Press.
A poet talks of"rwo Ways of Love-"
Poets have a way of talking of things
they don't know anything about.
There is only one way of love, and
that is generally rocky.-Rochestcr En-
press.
Now the sweet girl graduate who
read ali essay un .,'the Origin of the
Greek Mythology comes down to- the
frozen reality of life by tending in IN
icc-crcam saloon.-BOot and Shoe Re
cOrdcr.
When the contribution box comes
around the stingy man takes mighty
good are that his inquisitive neigh
boris left eye shall not see what his
own right hand docth,-Somcruille
J0ur3idL.
Things That never DIE is Tie title
of a magazine poem. We have search
| ed in vain, however, for any mention
of the MAJ who sticks to the end seat
of an open horse-car.-Boot und Shoe
Recorder.
"Wcll, young man." said Il sporting
goods dealer, what can we do for
you?n "Haye you any books on base
ballPn yes" "Gi' me The Rise
an Fall of the Roman Umpire. "-Neu
| York SIN.
"Mr. Hushly, do you know what
you're about?h asked Mrs. H., as she
stopped ut the head of the stairs with
the lamp. "'Comrse | do. I'm bout Ell
drunkest man | ever saw in my life.
uurrahi,'- Merchant 7rapeicr.
Deac6ii Ito country minister)-l
s'pose, parson. that the advance in
your salary from 5000 To 5000 will be a
big help to YOU" Minis,cr-"Yes, in
deed; the additional 500 will enable
me to hire II MAJ to collect the$500."-
HG'per's Baznr.
Father Cooking over his sons ac-
connts)-And what does this item of
incidental expenses. $3.50 cover? A
member of Yale 'gl-1hat? O, l know
now. 1t went for replacing some teeth
Ncm Harcn Ncws.
Lawyer drawing will of sick client)
Your estate is much smaller. sir.
than has generally been supposed"
Sick client-''Ycs; but that fact must
be kept quiet until after the funeral.
want Il good showing of gricf-stricken
mourncrs. "-EpocA:
You must lead quite d pastoral
life said the woman to the tramp.
"roaming over the country this bcauti-
full weather. Rather o of apast-
ure-al life. madam replied the tramp.
sadly; II slept in the open air with
eight COWS last night. '-Epoch.
Young doctor (to paticnt)-That
prescription | left last night, sir, was Il
mistake. 1t was intended for another
patient. Did you have it filled? Pat
icnt-Ycs, doctor. Doctor-Well, how
are ybii feeling this morning? Patient
Much bettcr:-New York SIN.
Tragcdian-1 was great rs Hamlet
last night, Witticus. You should have
seen me. The audience was fairly ear
ricd away: Witticus-O, | WAS there.
Rantcr; | was there. / was carried
away myself mt the end of the first act
in an ambulance -Hnper's BazMr.
She-.How can you sit there smok-
ing, Henry, when the garden is in such
a wrctchcd condition. Hc-.'My dear,
that is the %sillicst question You have
asked me this summer. My intense
devotion to the weed should explain
the matter to you."-New Haren New,.
Browns it true, Dumlcy, that you
dislike me bitterly, that You feel for
me nothing but vindictiveness and ma
lignant hatrcdp Dumlcy-Grcat lleav-
ems, old man, what put that monstrous
notion into your head? Brown-This
putl) cigar you have just given me-
NcW YORK. San.
Angry customer Ito Mr.. Isaacstoin)-
Dutchy. when | bought this suit two
months ago you said it wouldn't fade.
Look at the color now! Mr.. Isaacstein
My trent, dat vas changed beautiful
ly. ] iron you dot suit out for s.. und
becblcs win dink you choost boughd u
new von.-NcW YORK. San.
The name in which a human being
progresses in intelligence is simplyand
| clearly illustrated. Take Il child and
give it II quarter. He Immediately
tries to swallow it just as it is. Give n
man a quarter and he p%rudcntly con.
verts it into u liquid before attempting
to swallow it.-NcrchaN Trarcier.
"Vat," said the collector for II little
German band to Il citizen who sat in
his front window, you no gif holdings
for dot moosicp" Not II cent" re
piled the citizen, with hopeless cmpha-
sis. Den We blay some more, OATS
ALI" threatened the collector, SO The
citizen hastily gave up u quarter
Epoch.
First Chicago Anarchist-Py Gum.
You hear dot? More inqnisi,ions.
More tyrann Gs. We must revolt.
Second Anarc Iist-Vot happen now?
you hear abound dose Waits Mission
| cruclticspn "Ncin.n lids awful.
Last week dose peoples caught 900
newspoys und Washed ON Omaha