Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1888-12-29
WOMAN AND HOME.
USEFUL SUGGESTIONS FOR THE
GUIDANCE OF HOST AND GUEST.


GUIDANCE OF HOST AND GUEST.
Talk About the Habit OF ''Fussins''-How
20 Care for the CompIexion-A Woman's
Sympathy-Marriage in Japan-House-
hold Hints.
A lady widely popular as guest in very
pleasant houses was once asked, within my
knowledge, what made her such a favorite.
She answered that she did not know, unless
it was that she took great many maps in
her own room. She further explained that
the most welcome guest was inevitably some
restraint on the movements and occupations
Of the family, and that she herself aimed to
reduce this to minimum by keeping herself
out of the way for good deal Of the time
In reality she rarely went to sleep in the day
time, but by locking herself into her own
room for that ostensible purpose she not only
gained rest for herself, but gave it to those
around her. Then, if any one said, anxiously,
'Where is Elizabethp the answer at once
came, ''She is lying down in her own room;
we must not disturb her." So the family
could dispense with clear conscience to the
various occupations pressing on its members,
find that she had begun to be really missed
1t will be seen that happiness in this case
came from judicious letting alone on both
sides; and yet this is, for both host and guest,
hard thing to attempt. 1t ispracticed mag
unanimously every morning in the great En-
glish households, where each guest is left for
time to his own devices But this method
is based upon such endless resources in the
way Of rides. drives, walks. guns, fishing
rods, tennis courts, billiard rooms and libra
ries that it is really provision by wholesale
instead of retail; like a breakfast table in the
same establishments, where there is no for
mality, and guest helps himself to what he
likes. But it is no easy thing to adopt the
same breadth of treatment in small family
where there is no great variety of rooms or
appliances, and one domestic perhaps does
duty for ell. Still it is possible even there to
deal with guest in this general spirit; to as
suine that he or she has resources of some kind
likes to read, or to write, or to sew, and can
be allowed to choose among these occupa-
tions; or can be allowed to stroll about the
neighborhood unattended without being sus-
pected Of being homesick and miserable. The
private room, too, can usually be secured to
guest and kept sacred, being so provided
with a fire In winter, with flowers in sum
mer, and with books and writing material
always, that it becomes a little home for the
time being and is respected as such. As q
mans house is said to be his castle, so should
guest chamber be, and Elizabeth should be
allowed to take as many maps as she pleases,
with mono to modest or make her afraid
Then the real occupations Of the family may
go on-cooking, busting, art, philanthropy,
no matter what-and the hours when host
and guest meet will be a relief and not a bur-
den.
1t must be remembered, too, that this is a
land of overwork, and that guest comes as
often for rest as for stimulus Whether coun-
try cousins be transplanted to the city or city
cousins to the country, they must not be
worked too hard. 1t is not essential that
they should inspect every art museum and
cooking school In the one case. or drive to
every mountain view in the other, but it is
essential that they should not go home more
tired than they came.
Nothing is easier than to go to extremes,
and it would be great pity if any one, on
reading this, should at once form the resolve
to turn visit into an epoch chiefly devoted
to secluslon, either on the part Of host or
guest. But / am persuaded that the general
tendency OF our present social habits is tho
other way, and that shade moro of in
dividual freedom would be the best thing for
all In many respects our social customs are
easier than in other countries; even the mid
day dinner which here, as in Germany and
Switzerland, prevails so largely, is relief in
the duties Of hospitality; and I have often
thought that people in England burdened
themselves far more with their late and cere-
monious dinners than can be the case where
the simple American habit of company to
tea" yet prevails But so far as concerns
what is called in tie country sstaying COM
pany," we are still little moro punctilious
and exacting than other nations This does
not apply, however, to the termination of
visit, and here again our foreign cousins are
perhaps wiser than we, namely, lin indicating
very definitely at what precise time the
guest should arrive and depart. or course
no general theory can be laid down on this
point, but there is much to be said in favor
of the schedule of Jane Austen, the novelist,
who holds that every visit should be limited
to three days-the rest day, the dressed day
and the pressed day.-T. W. H. in Harper's
Bazar.