Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1888-02-16
POSTMASTER PLUNIMER.

reported crookedness. One afternoon
he reached a cabin, situated near lonely
road. He stopped, intending to get
drink of water, and as he drew near the
house was astonished at seeing a sign
board bearing the following inscriptions:
"PoOst Oils" An old fellow with a
grizzly beard and hairy chest-dis-
played, as his shirt was unbuttoned
came out and, merely nodding to the
inspector, sat down on a stump.
"How are you?" said the inspector.
"Tolble."
| Have YOU some fresh water handy?"
PLENTY NV it down there in the branch.
One of the boys shot my bucket all ter
pieces, and sense then halter go to the
branch wen l wanter drink"
Just then a man mounted on a mule.
rode up and asked: Mr.. Plummer, got
any letters for me?''
"Yes, thar's one here, Bill Patterson,
but you KANT get it. Go on away frum
here, or I'll moke you wush you hadn't
come"
"Wush yer would give it ter me-"
"Yas, and ther nigger wushed that
ther coon would come down outer the
tree, but he didn't come"
''Say, Mr. Plummer-"
''Shut yer mouth, an say nuthin', an
MORN that, you'd better mosey away
frum here"
The man rode off and the inspector,
addressing the postmaster, said:
"Why didn't you give that man his
letter."
''Kas he worked agin me when run
for justice Nv the peace"
"Yes, but the Government doesn't care
anything for that"
"ReckOn not, but l do"
"But you were appointed to serve the
people"
"Yas, an 1 sarve 'em-sarve some NV
EN- like old Nick"
'NIy friend, L am a travelling postOf-
flee inspector and"
"All right, then, travel"
"If | report you to the postoffice de-
partment, which I'll be very apt to do,
you'll travel"
"Reckon not. This establishment
b1Ongs ter me, and nObOdy's got right
ter tell me fur to git out"
"How long have you been postmaster?"
''BOut year, reckon"
At this juncture an old fellow, cauti-
Ously picking his way among the bush
es, approached the postmaster, who upon
seeing him sprang to his feet and ex-
claimed:
"Whut in thunder do you want here,
Abe Smith,"
"COme after my paper"
didn't 1 tell yer that yer KANT git it,
''Yes, but l lowed that yer mout
change yer mind"
"WaIl, l hain't. When yer refused to
lend me yer slide and hOss t'Other week
l told yer that yer couldn't get nOthin'
else Outen this office"
I'm er goin' ter git that paper"
'NOt lessen yer better man than
be-"
"An' that's er about whut l think" {
"Wall, help yers'f." =
With agility surprising for such old
men they grappled each other and be-
gan desperate struggle. Abe Smith 5
in throwing the postmaster. {
''Now," said Smith, as he began to q
choke old Plummer, "gOin' ter let me ;
have that paper?"
A gurgled ''yes" came from the post !,
masters throat. Smith released his hold !
and suffered Plummer to get up.
"Wall," said the postmaster, as he !
stood br.lshing fragments of leaves 1.
and bark from his beard. Il reckon l
wuz sOrter mistaken in yer. l didn't
know that yer wuz such nice man. ,
Come in, Abe, an git yer paper, fur yer :
have earned it like a white man."
''Ain't thar letter for me, tOo?"
'Yas"
"Wall, l want it" |
''Kain't get it, Abe. Yer fit fur the .
paper and not fur ther letter" I
''GOt ter have it, Plummer." II
"Not lessen you whip me ergain." b
"B'leve ken do it." S
"All right, Abe"
The went at it again, and pranced y
around, striking at each other. Fl !;
lally Plummer struck Abe a heavy blow u
md felled him; then, seating himself on :
he prOStrate man, he said: 7
"DOn't want the letter, do yer, Abe?" t.
"Reckon not, Plummer."
'All right, come erhead an git your
,aper." n
When Abe had gone, the postmaster !
urned to the inspector and said: q
"Want anything outen me?" q
"No, | believe not" Ia
"Ef yer had letter here an didn't nj
want yer to have it yer wouldn't argy 81
her p'nt, would yer?" it
Il don't think that l should" c1
"Don't want no truck with me?" if
"NOne" cl
"Well, then, good-by. Got ter go in
ow an make up ther mail"
is