davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-05-19
One THAT win Bear r.ll,nu Again.

One That VIII Bear Telling Again.
A certain fort in the far west, so the story
goes, was in command Of major OF artil.
lery who was constantly lamenting that his
favorite arm could not be more frequently
used against the indians. Finally one day he
took one Of the small howitzers, which de-
Tended the fort, and had it securely strapped
TO the back OF an army mule with the muz-
zie projecting over the animals tail With
this novel gun carriage he proceeded In high
feather with the captain and a sergeant to a
bluff on the bank of the Missouri, near which
was encamped band of friendly Indians
The gun was duly loaded and primed, the
fuse inserted, and the mule backed to tho
edge OF the bluff The major remarked
something about the moral effect the exhibi-
ton was likely to produce upon the Indian
allies, and stepped gayly forward and applied
the match
The curiosity Of the mule was aroused. He
lerked his head around to see what was
tizzlng away there on his neck, and the next
second his feet were all punched together
and making forty revolutions a minute.
wnile the gun was threatening everything
under the canopy within radius of ten
miles with instant destruction. The captain
Skinned up the only available trea The
sergeant threw himself fat on the ground
and tried to dig a hole with his bayonet to
crawl into, while the fat ma jor rolled over and
over in agony, alternately invoking the pro-
lection Of Providence and cursing the mule.
Finally the explosion came, the ball going
through the roof of the fort The recoil of
the gun and the wild leap of the terrified
mule carried both over the bluff to a safe
anchorage at the bottom Of the river. The
discounted party returned sadly to the fort.
Shortly after the chief the Indians ap-
peared and announced briefly, "Injun go
homA'
Questioned as to why. he thus explained:
"lnjun yer brave, help white man. Injun
use gun, use bow arrow, use knife, but when
white man fire off whole jackass Injun no
understand, no think right lnjun no help
um fight that way"-Toronto World
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-05-19
STORIES ABOUT ACTORS.
He Was Almost Fool Enough to He q

He Was Almost Fool Enough to He q
Sol Smith Russell tells OF how he was trav-
cling on Long Island some seasons ago, doing
his monoiogue in town halls and church
Easements At the railway station in one of
these little eel catching communities, a na.
tive, rusty and hoary, sat on a freight truck
and accosted the comedian with: BE you
Mr. Russler
"Yes. that's my narne,r ans ID Sol
"WaaI, thought So" said the native. al
seen yeow up to the teowu hall las night,
an'-waal. you're good unP
20, thank you" said Sol; "I'm glad you
liked the entertainment"
'.Since come away" resumed the native,
.sIve been thinkin' that mebbe you might do
sumpin for my boy-good, likely critter as
ever lived, but 30 pesky full Of his gimcracks
that we can't do nuthin' with him Put him
In a shingIe factory last spring fer to larn
the trade, but he KEEP EN- all latin so that
they couldn't do no work, an one mornin'
they threw him out, an he haint doin'
nothin' meow. Settin' up to your show last
night jest shout made up my mind that
Rubs would make a mighty good livin' in
your business an thought I'D ask you to
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-05-19
He PuI,ed the Rope.

Lawyer Tom Prindville vas down in Free
domville again one day last week, and 70
turned loaded down to the gunwales with
another cargo Of fresh stories from the little
town where liberty and truth slumber
under the same shed and drink out of
the same dipper. Here is a sample as Tom
tells 1t; There was darky stopping there
Ter day or two who was beauty he wore
3 high hat that had been black c:ce, but had
since bieached TO a fawn color Around his
neck was twisted a collar that had been ill.,
tended as turn down, but he wore it
with the ends turned up His vest would
have made an elegant side partner for can
vas horse feed bucket, but it admirably
matched his pants, which were brief but to
the point, quite in coutradistinctiou TO his
elongaiters. which seemed TO have been
ordered soon after some one had broken q
corner in leather. The darky was a barber
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-05-19
A Wide Range of Expression.

::'You seem thoughtful this evening,
Bobby said the minister, who was making
a call.
"Mr. Goodman" inquired Bobby, rousing
himself, "what is a vocabularyr
The minister kindly told him
81 heard 1t this morning." Bobby e1-
planned, land didn't know what it meant
Ma said she had no idea what a vocabulary
pa had until she heard him taking down the
parlor stove"-Harper,s Bazaar.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-05-19

Citizen ito leader Of little German bandD-
Here. Dutchy, is a IS bill if you will play for
an hour
Dutchy dhighly pleased,-Ah, you vos fond
Of dot musici
Citizen-No; but $50 pound enemy of mins
occupies the second floor front, and he is too
big a man for me to tackle myself-New
York Sun.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-05-19

Alfred-l wonder who that frowsy old ruin
in the green dress is She behaved in most
vulgar manner at supper and appears to be
out of her element
Alice-Do you mean the tall, thin old lady
with diamonds In her hairf
Alfrei-Yes: looks like a lamp post. Do
you know herf
Alice-Oh, yes, ! know her quite we'll
That's mamma Boston Beace1
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-05-19
Travelling for Half Fare.

A good story is told Of Bolossy Kiralfy.
When his Seven Ravens" company went to
pieces out west, the wire walker asked:
"fiow am | to get back to New York;
I'D like to fx you first rate" replied
krralfy. "but ! can't think how to do it. N
Then an idea struck him, and be added: "rll
tell you You walk the wires And say,
travel at night Its only half rate them
Pittsburg Chronicle
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-05-19
Read and Ponder.

According to The Detroit Free Press Chi
cago burglar read in newspaper that he
had overlooked $50 in bureau drawer. He
returned the next night and not only secured
it, but a suit Of clothes besides Here we have
another illustration of the value Of the press
as disseminator Of useful information Now
is the time to subscribe. Herald.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-05-19
The Tables Turned

The late Rev. Rural Dean Smithell, of
Omemee, Ont, wrote a very illegibls hand
On one occasion he sent letter to the bishop
Of Niagara who returned it with this in
Lursement:
DEAR SMTHELL-Impossible to read it
Yours, FULLE1
The bishop wrote the name and title Of his
reverend friend on the envelope, but entirely
forgot the address, which was supplied in
pencil by the postmaster. DIR. Smitheil i'm
mediately returned it in an inclosure with
these remarks:
DEAR FULLER-The next time you write
please address your letter. Yours,
SMTrHELL
Detroit Free Press
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-05-19
Taking the Temperature,

She TAT the races,-Whats the trouble on
the judges stand, GeorgeI
Rs-There is some dispute over the last
heat
She-Arent their Thermometers all alike,
Georgei-Texas Siftings
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-05-19
A Moving Tale.

Charitable Plumber-It seems incredible,
Mr. Bottomdollar. that you should be re-
duced TO this distress You were able to pay
my bills llst winter.
Mendicant twho has asked a loan of his
plumber,-l was, sir, but yesterday was NOV
ing day, and had to settle with my truck
man.-Texas Siftings
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-05-19
A Wonderful Feat.

Among half dozen commercial drummers,
who occupied seats in a Central Hudson
smoker yesterday relating their accustomed
yarns for their own edification, was one who
had made himself conspicuous by his silence.
de sat in thoughtful mood with his smok-
Ing cap drawn partly down over his eyes, and
with large sample case in front of him, he
did not look like deceiver.
The conversation had turned on their hair
breadth escapes from railway accidents, and
while each went the previous one a little bet
ter, this modest one did not wonder ut any of
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-05-19
tn. Hour When churohyar,,s Y.vn

Papa" said rich and beautiful girl, who
has many, many beauS, what Is your idea
in building our new mansion so near a grave
yardf It will -eem so ghostly after dark"
THAT is exactly the idea" responded the
old man; II want to try and have the house
closed before midnight. ht."-New York Sun.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-05-19
He Was Acquitted.

Police Judge-Prisoner, you are charged
with having brutality assaulted this man.
81 admit it, your honor, but there were e1-
tenuating circumstances
''Of what nntureP
"Why this man asked me IL a hen and a
half laid an egg and half in a day and a
half how man'"-
"That will do. You are discharged Ne
Lraska State Journal
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-05-19

Detroit Man-rve read Of straws blown
into boards during a cyclone
Idaho Man-Thats nothing: In the last
cyclone We had out there a long, slim streak
Of wind was driven three inches into hick-
ory tree so solid that it took three men to
pull it out again. Free Press
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-05-19

Young Wife-John, did you post my letter
asking Mr. Potts, Of New York, to send me
a new hustle of the largest sizei
Young Husband-No; didn't think it was
necessary.
Young Wife-Why not, II I may aski
Young Husband-Editor Tomney is going
to enlarge his paper next week--Judga
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-05-19

Little Emily-Do you Like coffee, Mr.. Wat
kinsf
Old Mr. Watkins-Certainly, dear.
Little Emily-Well, you make such a noiss
swallowing, l thought perhaps it hurt you.
Does its+New York Tribune.
Pass Him the Medal.
They were talking in Portland barber
shop about their skating powers, and. OF
course, there was more or less lying. gent
from Indiantown told this one: Zone night
along in the fall good many years back l
was skating down the Kenne3ecasis from
above Milkish. 1t was quite dark, and as
there were some holes in the ice l had 10
keep going at a very rapid rate 70 avoid drop
ping into them. | am no ice creeper-even
now-but that night honestly think beat
all records"
"How did that great speed save you from
the holesr listener asked sarcastically.
"How did it save met Why could ses
them l kept my skates going so fast that
sparks flew from the ice in showers, making
it so light that could have seen pin ten
yards ahead. st. John IN. b. Gazette.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-05-19

Father ito would be son-in-law,-Young
man, will you be able to take care of my
daughter in the style to which she has always
been accustomedl
Young Man tearnestly)-rn guarantee it,
sir, or return the girl-New York Sun.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-05-19

Young Lady Customer-How much is this
opera glassi
Salesman-Fifteen dollars
Young Lady Customer-Oh, that Is too e1-
pensivel Have you nothing smaller-per-
haps an operetta glassHHarper's Bazaar.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-05-19

Gus-Where have you been, Jackf
Jack-To d swell O'Clock tea at the Hob
sons. ! tell you, Gus, Mrs Hobson is a
woman of resources She introduced a nov
city this afternoon that never saw at sucn
an affair
Gus-What was iti
Jack-Enough to eat-Harper's Bazar.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-05-19
scripturaIly Ignorant.

Sunday School Teacher reprovingly)-
Now, Tommy, You must pay closer attention
to the lesson Who killed Abeli
Tommy in q surprised tone of voice. Why,
didn't know he was dead-New York Sun
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-05-19

Bagley-Thats an awfully durable suit of
yours, Tom 1t just seems to wear like iron.
Gagley-rve got another that's lasted
nearly as long.
Bagley-Which one is thatf
Gagley-The tailor's suit for his bill
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-05-19
RAILROAD TINE CARD,
PittsburS, Cincinnati and ST. Louis Rail.
way Conpany-Pan Handle Route.

PfttsburS, CfncInnad and 81. Louis RaiI-
way Corapany-Pan Handle Route.
Under schedule in effect November Is
1857, trains leave Springfield. central stand.
aru time, for Xenia, Dayton, Richmond.
St Louis, Chicago, and ali points west and
northwest, Cincinnati, Columbus and east
ward $3.50 g. m, for Xenia, Dayton, Ctn-
einnati, Richmond and Indianapolis 1910
a. m. TO, Xenia. Dayton, Cincinnati, Col
Imbus, indianapolis. St. Louis and Chicago
$3.50 p. m, for Xenia, Dayton and Cincin-
matt t5:0c .. m.
Trains arrive in Springfield at t7:25 and
5000 a. m, tS:05 p. IN. and $3.50 D. N.
<Daily. tDaiIy except Sunday.
SAM DoDDs Ticket Agent.
Cleveland, Columbus, Cincinnati and
Indianapolis Railway.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-05-19

The Brooklyn polio, force is to be in
creased from 800 to !. 100 men.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-05-19
A Nice Servant Girl

a NICE servant Olrl.
Mother-What, novel reading again, Maryi
Daughter pulling up the heel of her slip
per,-Well. there's nothing for me to do.
You do everything about the house.
Nj have to- I'm sure | don't know
what's to become Of you, Mary. You can't
cook, you can't make bread, can't trust you
to make q led Ii your father and should
be taken away what would become Of youf
Did get married
M-But suppose you couldn't get married.
Dwell, if the worst came to the worst, I
could hire out as a servant girl-Boston
Courier.
A Boy Again.
"Henry, you were talking In your Sleep"
said Mrs. Jones TO her husband
"What did talk aboutr inquired Jones,
anxiously.
"You spoke OF 'raking in the chips"
"Ah, yes" said Jones, with a relieved look,
''early associations, my dear. dreamed
was a boy again | was always the one to
rake in the chips Detroit Free Press.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-05-19

MEN nNt v Cur. .tory,ssns. ' nsryc,nsss' i.ss
n.is1sa so< COOK TRzk Esis Md. o.. Ba9aio. n X
The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1888-02-29

From the above table it would be Sc
that the average amount of pension pa
annually to each pensioner in Alabama
1923, while the amount paid for the sau.
time in Illinois is $3.50. In Kentucky H.
amount paid is $120, while in Maine it
$3.50, In New Jersey il is Sis, while j
New Hampshire il is 1892. In Texas it
$104, while in Vermont it is $l20. In Nj,
souri, il is S1l3, while In Massachusetts, it
S13l. In West Virginia it is S110, while
the State of Ohio it is $l23, and so on I ;
the end of the chapter,
Taking the States as whole, the averag
amount paid in each OF the Democratic
and Republican States respectively is about
the same, For instance, the average
amount of pension paid to each pensiOner
in the Republican States of California,
Colorado, Illinois, Iowa, Kansas, Maine,
Massachusetts,, Michigan, Minnesota, Ne
braska, Nevada, New Hampshire, Ohio,
Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island and
Vermont per year is $122.44, while the
amount paid per year in the Democratic
States of Alabama, Arkansas Connecticut,
Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Indiana, Ken
lucky, Louisiana, Marylsnd, Mississippi,
Missouri, New Jersey, New York, North
Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, Tex as,
Virginia and West Virginia, is 1922. 90,
being 46 cents per annum to the advantage
of the pensioners OF the Democratic states.
In the Territories of Dakota, Idaho,
Montana and the District of Columbis,
which are Republican, the amount paid to
each pensioner per annum is $l28.50, while
in the Territories of Arizona, Utah, Wash
ington and Wyoming, generally thought
to be Democratic, the average annual
amount paid to each pensioner is $l0S.75,
being an average of $40 as per year to the
advantage OF the pensioners living in Re-
publican Territories and the District OF
Columbia.
Of course, as before stated, ii is, under
the circumstances, absolutely impossible
for the Commissioner OF Pensions to give
partisan advantage to any particular State
in the matter of pension, II he 30 desired
to do, and the statement of Republican
newspapers that he has done 30 is simply
partisanship run mad. Figures IL will be
seen, can be made to show that the Repub
lican States as well as Democratic States
have been favored, IL there was anythiLe
In the argument, but there is nothing in II
either way.
The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1888-02-29
ANANIAS REDIVIYUS.
Another Partisan Invention Exploded By
FigurtS in Cald Typ.
Democratic States Not Favored By the
Commissioner OF PensIOns-Number
or Pensions in Each State and
TerritOry-TOtals, Etc.

WASHINGTON, d. c., Feb. 21.-A few OF
the more reckless of the Republican news
papers of the country have been for the
past few weeks amusing themselves with
the.statement that the Democratic admin
istration, through the Commissioner of
Pensions, has been given the soldiers OF
Democratic States an advantage over the
soldiers OF Republican States in the amount
of pensions allowed them.
To one having even a oursory knowledge
of pension matters, and especially TO one
who knows anything ABOUT the method OF
ediudicating pension claims In the pension
bureau at Washington, this claim is simply
pTeposterous.
Claims for pensions are sd judicsted and
allowed upon the sworn testimony filed by
the clsiment in each case. and the allow
anCe Of the claim is always made at the
earle st possible moment after the evidence
filed is . fficlent to warrant il, and the rate
per mont allowed the claimant is il
VariAbly Fl TX ed by the medical board.
Under the administration of General
Black every letter, paper, statement, or
other evidence which aliudes either di-
rectly o. indirectly to the politics Of the
claimant or his family is returned TO the
sender thereof, and he is required to ex-
punge such ez traneous matter, before such
letter, paper, statement, or other evidence
is allowed to be filed in the case; so it will
be seen that it is absolutely impossible for
either the examiner or reviewer or menu
Der of the medical board, or the Com mis-
sioner of Pensions to know what the pol
itics OF the claimant are, even If they cared
to know, which, as & matter OF fact they
do not When this is known, aud then it
is also known that large majority OF tina
reviewers, examiners, and members OF the
Medical Board of the Pension Bureau are
Republicans, the sbsurdity Of the RspuO.
icsn claim becomes all the more ap parent.
as sort of basis for their assertion they
iuggle with the figures contained in the
summary to table twenty, to be found on
psge sixty seven of the Com nissIoper's
ANNUAL report for the fiscal year 1887.
They assert that this summary shows that
the soldiers OF Democratic States receive
more pensions per sunum than the SOL
diers who reside in the Republican States.
As a matter Of fact, this statement will not
hold good, as the following table. prepared
from data furnished by said summary,
conclusively shows; but even IL thls we're
true 1t would prove nothing, ana could not
be the result Of any parusaa advantage
sought TO be given to Democratic States Of
The pension bureau, as we have conclu-
siyely shown.
Table showing the number OF pensioners
in each State and Territory, the total
amount of pensions paid psr annum in
each State and Territory, together with
the average amount per pension:
The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1888-02-29
Some Cast Iron Facts.
IPeru Sentinel.1

Judge Woods, the man who prostituted
his high Office of Federal Judge and be-
came a partisan prosecutor 10 convict
political opponent, whose executive ability
had twice carried the Democratic ticket to
triumph in Marion county, obtained bis
position through the frauds that made R.
B. Hayes President; yet Judge Woods
holds on TO his position with grip thai
death alone can loosen, though well know
ing that the man who appointed him had
no good title TO the Office authorized to
bestow such patronage. The Sentinel
again repeats that 1t does mot indorse po-
litical rascslity, and that thei.good work
performed by Simeon Coy for
his psrty should mot, and,
under q Democratic administration, will
not prevent his proper punishment if
guilty Of the crime of which he stands
charged. The Sentinel also repeats that
the Democratic party convicted the Demo
cratic gang led By Boss Tweed, the Demo.
cratic boodlers OF Chicago, and prosecuted
to conviction the Indianapolis Democrats
charged with crimes against the electi on
laws. 1t does not doubt that Republicans
are ever esger to prosecute Democrats, but
1t egain defies the Republican to show
where Republican, charged with political
crimes, was convicted by bis party.
The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1888-02-29
UNDER 1870 FEET OF SNOW.
An Astonishing story About Great Slide
In Idaho.
ISap Francisco speclsll

ISan Francisco speclsll
John NJ. Duncombe, who has just come
down TO the city from AltuYGs, Idaho, tells
the story of queer happening there, q
week or two ago:
Five men were working at shaft To-
Gated about half way up the side of Silver
ton Bill. q spur of the Alturas range. The
snow lies several feet deep all over the
mountsin, and as the day wss clear. by
the middle of the Stternoon the sun n al
tbawed the snow just enough to make it
soft and inclined 10 slide. a SRede,
walking on trail above the shaft, missed
his footing; and in scrsmbling TO regain it,
pushed little body of the snow out of its
balance. This vas at the bsad OF a dry
gulch, and the weight aud slippsriness of
the snow we're enough 10 start slide. In
seconds tiIue it mad grown TO tremen-
dous size, and, growing bigger every sec
ond, It rushed down the mountain with q
terrible roar. TIE trees in its path were
moved down like grass before scythe. The
Swede, who started the slide, fell over in
il. his body was buried IN the snow, aud
had not yet been found when came away.
Two men were working the windlass at
the mouth of the shaft aad two others were
inside. The two at the surface heard the
slide coming and hurried to get out OF its
way. They were caught in the vast mass
Oh IubUluS hIlUW duU kuIuullnS tIcCo. Dub
by some unex plainable accident they were
tossed TO one side and succeeded in getting
out OF the avalanche. They were knocked
senseless, but received no serious injuries.
But the queerest part OF the whole story
is about the two men who were inside the
shaft. The slide came right down over the
mouth of the shaft and packed its 100 feet
chock full OF snow. The two men, Martin
Smithson and Tom Callan, were in there,
buried under all that mass of snow, for two
days and nights, and when they were dug
out they came to, and are now Just as
sound and as we'll as anybody The snow
was packed into some parts of the
shaft so tight that it was almost as
hard as ice, and it took exceedingly hard
wark to get it out. But the snow, no mat
ter how tightly it is packed, does not ex.
clude the air, and that is the why they
happen to live through. They were caught
in upright positions. too. or they could
hardly have survived. There they stood
for forty-eight hours, with The snow packed
around them so close that they could moi
move muscle. Though go near each Other
that they almost touched, they could not
even speak word. They could Just simply
stand there and think. They ssy they
were conscious for some time after the
snow came down, and that they suffered
fortunes. Trey declare they never longeC
for anything so much in ali their lives a
they did for death"