The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-22
BRIGHT BITS

IT is all well enough to talk about a needle
being lost in hay stack, but it wouldn't be lost
long if you were TO walk on the hay in your
bare feet---Puck
A Man has Just died in Connecticut who
smoked over 1900 herring day. Worse than
the tobacco habit. No wonder he died.-Bur-
hngton Free Press.
PHnApELPHIA Girl lat the seashore)-Do you
ever find bottles which tell of wrecks
Native-Yes, mum, often-empty bottles
Philadelphia Record.
NEW ORLEANS PAPER has an editorial on
When TO Draw" Our advice would be to draw
when you happen to know that the man VINO
owes you Is f1ush.-LotCeH Citizen.
GIVE me neither poverty nor riches" said
the wise man. "All ask for is to be chosen a
delegate to a closely contested congressional
district convention ~ Boston Transcript.
PHILADELPHIA DAnE at tab!e)-My gracious
You are splitting that gravy on the carpet.
New Waitress (cheerfulyl-There' plnty
more in the kitchen, mum.-Phiiddelphjd Re
cord.
THE largest crop of cranberries this country
has ever produced will be gathered this fall,
and yet just about half the politicians will have
nothing but crow to go with them during the
holiday season.-Nel0 HGven Ners.
He "a new arrival at a country hotel to I'M
known ladyl-Aw, have you been long a captive
in this-er-menagerle?
She-You can hardly call me a captive; per-
hapS keeper would be BETTER for am the wife
OF the Snowman and have to help feed the ami
mals.-Hdrper's Bdzdr
knowledge OF HUMAN NArURE-And so
your nice clergyman is going to be married.
Mrs. Marigold l hope you'll like his wife as
well as you like him"
We'll, maam, I'm sure l hope so-but we
generally find that when the gentleman is haffa-
bic, the lady's 'aughty. London Punch.
An UNKNOWN SPEcIEs-New Governess-Now.
dear in WI "a zOOlppipaI al flo
you place MANI
Pretty Girl-Man?
Yes; don't you know what man is?'
mo, ma'am. I've been spending nv winters
in convent and my summers at seaside
resorts. Philadelphia Record.
''AND so" said he, bitterly, when he realized
that she had rejected him, land so you have
been flirting heartlessly with me all the while
Wen. thank heaven, l have found you out at
last"
Yes" she replied, you have and what is
more. think you will always find me out here
after when you call. "-SomerUilLe Journal
PoPrNJAY-I am dreadfully nervous. restless
fellow-so much that hardly night passes
that l don't kick the bed clothes completely
off the bed.
Dumpsey-Indeedi I'll tell you what you
want to get.
Popinjsy-W What's that!
Dumpsey-A sheet anchor Burlinqton Free
Press.
WIFE VouuIIouhyt- III nist nave been late
when you came in last night, John, for didr--
go to sleep until after II O'Clock.
Husband fearlessly)-It was 1880 O'Clock my
dear.
Wife-And you kept mutterng in your sleep,
Set EN- up again, set up again. "
Husband-Ges, / was playing tenpins with
Brown. need a little exercise of that Sort
Neto York Sun.
Mas. MUsHRoOM-I wonder why it is Miss
LOTUS never calls nowadays. Curious, too she
neglected to send us cards for her reception. /
know II must have ben an oversight, though.
Mr.. Mushroom don't know anything alb out
it, and to tell the truth, | don't care
Young Mushroom-I saw her last week pa
She said was wicked boy to use bean blower
at her. told her she was a lean, scrawny,
attenuated and blase old maid. cause my pa
said So and he wouldn't tell lie-DrGke's
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