The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-09
BRIGHT BITS.

THERE is a restaurant waiter in Lincoln who
deserves TO b honored. patron said to him
yesterday: Waiter pass me those molasse5,
and he replied, How many:'-Ltncoth (Ne6)
Journal.
Henry GEORGE Crying to call into hole)-
Who the mischief is in there?
NOice-It's me.
Henry George-Whos "me?"
Voice-Martin Irons.-NeW York SIN.
A TEACHER in the South who has a class Of
bright little darkies was recently explaining to
them the Sermon on the Mount, and one OF them
said. with regard TO the meek inheritlng the
earth, ' 'dey amt awiue ter get that earth lest
dey pay for it. '-- Har.,ec'S Bazar
THERE is nothing that goes further toward
breaking the heart OF a country pcstmistress
who doesn understand anything but English
than to have the mail contain a postal card
written in "A feminine hand in German and adj
dressed TO a young mar whom she knows
Puck.
Allow was your wife dressed
Guzler-She had on an absinthe dress with
Chambert n-colorod ribbons and n cognac-col-
ored bonnet trimmed with aInset lace, which
enhanced the lustre of her blackberry brandy
eyes She looked Us pretty as bottle of Johan-
niSherg.-TDrH TOPICS.
WEALTHY FLoRlDlAN-Here we are wreathed
in orange blossoms, and the birds singing in
every breeze. What could be loveler in
January?
New York girl (2s and desperate,-Just one
March ripping through the perfumed air
HGfperS Bazaar.
"IF two from one you take, how many will re-
main, Alice?' asked young man of his girl.
Why, you can't take two from one. Char
ley
oh yes, / can. Alice" and he kissed her
twice. Now, said he I've taken two from
one. and hundreds remain"
And they VIII remain there, " replied Alice
Ptct
Mr.. BLAINE What's the matter my friend:
You look cold.
Poor Americana should say was cold. AL
though | paid a months wages for this over
coat it is half cotton and let's the wind through
like a sieve
"Well, you go and get an untaxed cigar;
thatl keep your nose warm, anyhow. "-Omahd
World.
A GOOD JOKE is told of party who entered
Lower town poll yesterday to personate dead
man. He was ioculary informed by one of the
scrutineers that the departed voter had been in
already to exercise the franchise, whereupon
the would-be voter grew indignant and stated it
could not he SO as the party had died. He left
in hurry at the request of the returning officer.
-Ottdtcd (Cdpddd) Free Press,
THE THING a woman never forgets to do is to
try to read the post office mark on letter be-
fore she opens it. She viii turn it upside down
and look ohliquely along its surface, and do
everything in her power TO make it out Then,
if the Indications are that it differs from the
name Of the town at the top OF the letter, she
grows frantic with excitement, and doesn't
fairly get over it for days-Adcocate.
FIRST BEGGAR-Why didn't you tackle that
lady? She might have given you something.
Second Beggar-I let her go because | under
stand my Isness better than you do. never
ask woman for anything when she is alone;
but when two women are together you can get
money from both, because each one is afraid
the other will think her stingy if she refuses.
Our profession has to be studied, Just like any
other, if you expect to make it a success
TerGS Siftings.
Law PROFESSOR TO class)-Under our law,
Brutus would have been Just as vile an assassin
as il his knife had not been moved by patriot
ism. Now, ii you had been called upon to de-
fend BrutuS, you would have strengthened
Brutus by weakening Caesar, would you not?
Student-Yes, sir. | would nave made a state
ment which without Investigation, would have
impelled the jury to lherate Brutus.
Professor-What statement would you have
made?
STUDENT would simply have said that
Caesar had organized the Western real estate
om.-Arkdnsd1c Traveller.