davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-05-25
Testimony of the Expert.
From the Detroit Free Press.

From the Detroit Free Press
There was a bridal couple coming
in on the Bay City train the other
day, and the passengers in that
particular car were on the grin most
of the time over their antics. The
bride got the man she loved, and
she didn't care a copper who saw
her pillow her head on his shoulder.
The bridegroom had got a farm
with his wife, and If he wanted to
feed her gum drops or squeeze her
hand whose business was it a
little old man, dried up and bald.
headed, sat directly in front of the
couple, and he looked around so
often that the young husband final
~ explained
"We're just married."
81 knowed it all the time,"
chuckled bald.head.
"And we can't help it, you know"
"No, you can't; I'll be dsrned if
you kin "
'T presume it all seems very silly
to an old man like YOU" continued
the husband.
"Does it Does it I" cackled the
old fellow, as he bobbed around
"Wall, you bet your lite she
doesn't. Pve been right thar three
times over, and I'm now on my
way to Canada to marry a fourth.
You orter see me a week hence
I'll hug and squeeze and fondle at
the rate of 45 miles an hour, and
darn the skunk that laffs at me |!
Silly Why, children, IFS parrydise
billed DOWN.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-05-25
SHUT YOUR EARS.

1t is pretty plain advice to give
a person when you tell him to
"shut his mouth" but it is counsel
that is seldom ill.timed. Bat if
one would practice the art OF clos
ing the ears first, it would be much
easier to keep the mouth closed
afterwards. 1t is something that
should be thoroughly learned
while young, then it will be re-
membered through life. Particu-
larly does one need to practice this
adage in a small country place,
where all the neighbors and towns
people feel in duty bound to inter
est themselves one in another's
affairs and sometimes to the neglect
of their own-and where they are
gwen, more or less, to the offensive
habit OF petty gossiping. We need
continually to shut our ears to un-
pleasant sayings of these would-be
tale bearers and newsdealers. They
are a pest to intelligent society,
and we find them as often in pants
as in skirts. Men and women who
have but little knowledge of, or
care for, the real and true object of
life, and with but slight apprecla-
ton Of the value of time, content
themselves with the small and
inferior business of meddling with
the affairs of all with whom they
come in contact. For our own
good, we shOnld shut our ears to
them.
Fully as essential is it to close
our ears sometimes to our domestic
relations. Everyone knows that
there are times when some slight
jar will seriously disturb the pre-
viouslY calm elements of the house
hold, and Will naturally bring out
discOrdant sounds and words to
which we should close our ears
By doing this carefully, kindly and
ungenerously, we may escape the
volcanic eruptiOns so common in
families ; and this will be the surest
means of reconciliation, of resist
ance to temptation and of living
above and beyond the petty trials
that so often surround us. If peO-
pie would heed this counsel Oftener
the vulgar and bad would never
cOntaminate us. The truly refined
never hear what is low and vulgar,
They perslstently close their ears
to it, thereby hearing and enter
tanning only what is elevating and
ennobling. In closing our ears to
all discord we become more and
moro sensitive to harmony and
better able to appreciate those
finer qualities of human nature. II
is a true saying that silence is
golden and if we will persistently
close our ears and think, We shall
perform the grandest work allotted
to men and women.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-05-25
RECOGNIZED
as the leading Farm, Garden, Fruit, Stock
and FAMILY WEEKLY of America, the
RURAL NEW.YORKER

begs to say that it will mail (witliout
oharge) 10 all who are interested in rural
affairs a copy of the RURAL itself, together
with five copies Of its series of powerful
Farm Cartoons, printed on 6ne paper and
showing, as no other pictures have ever
shown, the right and wrong side of farm
life, ito pleasures, its dangers, etc. The
RURAL costs moro to publish than any
other farm journal IN tho country. Ii
presents 500 original illustrations every
wear the value of tho work of ITS Ex-
neriment Farm is widely known aud rec
ognized. The best farm writers in the
world-600 contributors. Its Domestic
Economy, Home, News and Markets de-
partments are unequaled. The RURAL ad-
dresses itself to all good people who culti-
yate land, whether it be flower plot or a
Thousand acres. Price ~ year, weekly,
l6 large pages, heavy tinted paper. Ad-
dress the Rural New Yorker, 81 Park
Row, New York.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-05-25
Alexandria Gazette,
ESTABLISHED 1900.

Its contiguity to Washington gives it
an early precedence over all the journals
of the State in.intelligence of the opera
tons of tho General Government. The
proceedings of Congress are reported and
all matters ofinterest to Virginia given
in detail. lF,Om the State Capital receives
early and. accurate accounts of all the
operations Of the State government.
Especial attention Is devoted TO the
news Of Virginia, and concisely and COM
pletely 1t gives the news of the world.
In its Commercial columns the people
know they may depend upon the Gazette.
DATES OF SUBSCRIPTION.
DAmY-One year So six months SO
three months $3.50; one month so cents
TRf WERELY--One year 81 six months
81 three months 81.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-05-25
How to Keep Cellars Dry and Cool.

\ great mistake is sometimes
made in ventilating cellars and
milk houses. The object of venh-
lation is to keep the cellars cool
and dry, but this object often fails
of being accomplished by a CON-
mon mistake, and instead the eel
lar is made both warm and damp.
A cool place should never be ven'i-
lated, unless the air admitted is
cooler than the air within, or is at
least as cool as that or very little
warmer. The warmer the air the
more moisture it holds in suspen'
sion. Necessarily, the cooler the
air the more the moisture is con-
densed and precipitated, When a
cooler cellar is aired on a warm
day, the entering air IN motion ap-
pears cool; but as it fills the cellar
the cooler air with which it be
comes mixed chills it, the moisture
is condensed, and dew is deposited
on the cold walls, and may often
be seen running down them in
streams. Then the cellar is damp
aud soon becomes mOuldy. To
avoid this, the windows should
only be opened at night, late-the
last thing before retiring. There
Is no need to fear that the night
air is unhealthful-it is as pure as
the air at midday, and is really
drier. The cool air enters the
apartment during the night, and
circulates through it. The win
dows should be closed before sun
rise in the morning, and kept closed
and shaded through the day. II
the air of the cellar is damp, it
may be thoroughly dried by plac-
ing in It a peck of fresh lime in
an open box. This quantity of lime
will absorb about seven pounds or
more than three quarts of water,
and in this way a cellar or milk
room may soon be dried, even in
the hottest weather.-Hedlh ant
Home.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-05-25
The Century MAGAZINE

With the November, 1857, issue THE
CENTURY commences its thirty-iifth vol
dme with regular circulation of almost
100000 The War Papers and the Life Of
Lincoln increased Its monthly edition by
100000 The latter history having re-
counted the events of LincOlns early
years, and given the necessary survey of
the political condition of the country,
reaches a new period, with which his sec.
retaries were most intimately acquainted
Under the caption
LINCOLN IN THE VAR,
the writers now enter on the more i'm
portant part of their narrative, viz: the
early years Of the War and President Lin
coins part therein.
SUPPLEMENTfRY VAR Papers,
following the "battlo series by distin-
gulshed generals, will describe interest
ing features Of army life, tunneling from
Libby Prison, narratives Of personal adj
ventures, etc. General Sherman will
write on "The Grand Strategy OF the War"
KEENAN, on SIBERIA.
Except the Life Of Lincoln and the War
Articles, no more important series has ever
been undertaken by THE CENTURY than
this Of Mr.. Remnants. With the previous
preparation of four years travel and study
I'm Russia and Siberia, the author under
took journey of 1900 miles for the
special investigation here required. An
introduction from the Russian Minister OF
the Interior admitted him to the princi-
pal mines and Prisons, where he became
acquainted with some three hundred State
exiies, Liberals, Nihilists, and others
and the series will he startling ~ well
as accurate revelation Of the exile system.
The many illustrations by the artist and
photographer, Mr.. George A, Frost, who
accompanied the author, will add greatly
to the value Of the articles.
4 NOVEL BY EGGLESTON
with illustrations will run through the
year. Shorter novels will follow by Gable
and Stockton. Shorter fictIons will APP
pear every month.
MISCELLANEOUS FIXTURES
will comprise several illustrated articles
on Ireland, by Charles De KAY; papers
touching the field Of the Sunday. School
Lessons, illustrated by L. l.. Wilson; wild
Western life, by Theodore ROoseye { /; the
English Cathedrals, by Mrs. van Rensse-
laer, with illustrations by Pencil; DIR.
Buckley's valuable papers on Dreams,
Splritualsm, and ClairvOyance essays in
criticism, art, travel, and biography I;
poems cartoons; etc.
By a specidi offer the numbers for the
past wear containing the Lincoln history
NAV be secured with the years subscr. p
ton from November. 1857, twenty -four
issues IN all, for $500, or, with the last
years numbers handsomely bound, $3.50.
Published by THE CENTURY Co., %
East 18th Street. New York.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-05-25
He SOLD HIS BABYS SHOES.
from the n. Y. Mail and Express


"No, l won't drink with you to-
day, boys" said a we'll dressed
young man to several companions,
as they settled down in an mp town
cafe the other evening, when the
decanter was passed. "The fact
is boys, I have quit drinking; in
fact, have sworn Off" He was
greeted with shouts Of laughter by
the jolly fellows around him; they
put the decauter under his nose,
bat he refused to drink, and was
rather serious about it.
"What's the matter with you,
old boy ?" sang out one. "If you've
quit drinking, something's up
Tell us what it Is"
"Well boys, l will, though |
know you'll laugh at me. But I'll
tell You just the same. l have
been a hard drinker all my life
ever since | was married, as all
YOU fellows know. love whiskey;
il is as sweet to Inc as sugar, and
God only knows how III quit it,
For five years not day has passed
over NY head that l didn't have a
cocktail before breakfast and many
drinks through the day. But I'm
done.
"Yesterday | was over on the
east side. Down in the Bowers a
customer of mine keeps a pawn
shop. called on him, and while
| was there a young man of not
more than twenty-five, wearing
seedy.loOklng clothes and with the
appearance of not having seen a
sober day for a month, came in
with a little parcel in his hand.
"Trembling he unwrapped it,
and handed the article to the pawn
broker. "Give me ten cents" And,
boys, what DO you suppose it was.
a pair of baby shoes, little bits of
things, with the bottoms only a
trihe sOiled, as if they had been
worn once or twice"
"Where did you get these p
asked the broker.
"'GOt them home,' replied the
man who had an intelligent face,
despite his sad condition. my
wife bought them for my baby.
Give me ten cents for them l want
drink
"'You had better take these
shoes back to your wife. The baby
will need them,' said the pawn
broker.
no, she won't need them, be.
cause she's dead. She's lying at
the house now; she died last night
"As he said this the poor fellow
broke down, bowed his head on the
counter, and wept like a child
Boys, you can laugh If You like,
but | have a little baby of my own
up home, and I swear I'll never
drink another drop" As he got
up and went out his companions
ceased laughing, and in a moment
each was busily engaged in read
ing newspapers. Even a Mail and
Express reporter, who CHANGED to
be in earshOt, felt a moisture about
his eyes.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-05-25

The volumes Of the Magazine begin
with the Number for June and December
of each year. When no time is specified,
subscriptions will begin with the Number
current at time Of receipt Of order.
Bound Volumes of Harper's Magazine,
for three years back, In neat cloth binding,
will be sent by mail postpaid, on receipt
of $500 per volume. Cloth Cases, for
binding 80 cents each-by mail, postpaid.
Index to IIarpeTs Magazine, Alphabet
cal, Analytical, and Classified, for Volumes
| to TO- inclusiye, from June, 1850, to
June, 1885, one VOL, syo, Cloth, $500.
Remittances should be inside by Post
Office Money Order or Draft, to avoid
chance of loss.
Newspapers are not to copy this adyer-
tisement without the express order Of
Harper Il Brothers.
Address HarDer & Brothers. N. Y.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-05-25
SEASONABLE DOGGEREL.

Whene'er take my walks abroad,
How many dogs see;
What should prevent my being bit,
If one should fly at mel
Jerusalem has its shara. you know
Our city has much more;
At every corner dogs we see,
Ii fact, near every door.
In blooming seasons Of the year
Vast numbers we behold;
Few die from summers sultry heat,
Or perish with the cold.
Some canine wretches sadly are
Pat tot to get their bread;
While few, indeed, do have home,
Or seem to be well fed
If you to market have to go,
Guard we'll your beef or veal;
For numerous dogs will dog your steps,
Watching a chance to steal.
They live by plumber day by day,
At night take little rest,
10 alleys, under stoops or shed,
And fight with special zest.
Some dogs timely bark will give
Ere at your heels they fly;
But terriers are terrible
They nip you on the sly.
Some noble brceds-if such they are
'Twere pleasure to possess;
But nearly all the dogs we see
Are surely valueless.
Most ours, it here occurs TO me,
Meet common fates at last
They all 90 into sausage meat
When the storms of life are past.
Along the docks many remark,
When August days are come
"Smoked sausages are now 30 cheap.
We all may purchase some"
'Tis then the old meat grinder springs
Relentless on each whelp;
"Mad dog p he cries against the purp,
And none is there to help.
In hostelry and boarding house
Some dogs do then appear
And rest on tables which in life
They dared not venture near.
And picnics and gay companies
DO bolt them in trice-
what matters it 80 long as they
Are seasoned well with spice
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-05-25
1888.
Harper's Magazine.
ILLUSTRATED.

Harper's Magazine is an organ of pro-
gressiye thought and movement in every
department Of life. Besides other attrac-
tions, it will contain, during the coming
year, important articles, superbly illus
trated, on the Great West; articles on
American and foreign industry; beauti-
fully illustrated papers on Scotland, Nor
way, Switzerland, Algiers, and the West
Indies; new novels by William Black and
w. d. Howells; novelties, each complete
in a single number, by Henry James, Laf-
cadio Hearn, and Amelie Rives; short
stories by Miss Woolson and other popular
writers; and illustrated papers Of special
artistic and literary interest. The Edito-
nal Departments are conducted by George
William Curtis. William Dean Howells,
and Charles Dudley Warner.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-05-25

A Dallas county, Texas, preach
er has issued circulars declaring
himself to be the Waterman spoken
of in the twenty.third chapter of
Ezekiel. Among other assertions,
he alleges his ability to prove that
the Bible shuts out all unmarried
persons over 81 years Of age from
the kingdom of heaven, unless a
good excuse can be shown.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-05-25
Like to See Him in the Country

"You think you're darn smart 10
laugh at me cause | tried to blow
out the gas" said old Farmer Fur
row, to a hotel clerk, "but, by gosh,
I'd like to see you try your hand at
drivin' a yoke of oxen or cradlin' a
field of rye Then there'd be some
thin worth laghin' at. you darned
old hit w-HOtel Mail.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-05-25
S s 8.
Harper's Bazaar.
ILLUSTRATED.

Harper's Bazaar is home journal. II
combines choice literature and fine art H.
Illustrations with the latest intelligence re-
gnrding the fashions. Each number has
clever serial and short stories, practical
and timely essays, bright poems, humorous
sketches, etc. It's pattern-sheet and fash
template supplements will alone help la
dies to save many times the cost Of the
subscription, and papers on social ETH
ouette. decorative art, house keeping in
all it's branches. cookery etc, make It use
full in every household, aud true promo.
ter Of economy. It's editorials are marked
by good sense, and not line is. admitted
to lis columns that could offend the most
fastdious taste.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-05-25

The Volumes Of the Bazaar begin with
the first Number for January of each year.
When no time is mentioned, subscriptions
will begin with the Number current at
time of receipt OF order.
Bound Volumes of Iarper's Bazaar, for
three wears back in neat cloth binding.
will be sent by mail, postage paid, or by
express, free of expense (proylded tho
freioht does not exceed one dollar per
yolnme), for 81 90 per volume.
Cloth Cases for each volEme, suitable
for binding, will be sent by mail, postpaid,
ON receipt of 81 90 each. RemittanceS
shonld be made by Post-Onice Money
Order or Draft, to avoid chance Of loss.
Newspapers are not to copy this adver..
tisement without the express order Of
Harper & Brothers.
Address HarDer & Brothers. N. Y
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-05-25

Publishers, Baltimore.
A. s. Abel. George W. Abel.
Edwin +. Abel. Walter X. Abel.
The Baltimore Weekly Sun continues to
preserve its position, maintained for many
years, as a model family newspaper. Dur
ing the past year, in oruer to acc0mmo-
date the great variety Of matter seeking
admission 70 lis columns, it has been found
necessary to issue a supplement almost
every week, presenting home newspaper
unequaled for freshness and variety. Its
literary features are selected with dis
eliminating taste and with special refer
ence to the entertainment and instruction
OF the family circle. It's agricultural and
veterinary departments, edited by speci-
aiists, have been of great value to the
farmer, while its fashion articles. house
hold recipes, ETC., have continued TO be
source Of weekly interest and instruction
to ladies. The latest news up to the hour
of publication is given in its cOrrespOn-
dence and telegrapbic dispatches, while
its editorials, besides discussing current
events in an impartial spirit, afford much
wholesome advice and suggestion on
social economic and other topics. The
proceedings Of Congress. the Maryland
and other Legislatures, the National Po-
litical Conventions, aud the Presidential
and Congressional elections are amOng the
important features that will be promptly
and copiously presented in its columns
during lsSs.
Full commercial, financial, cotton, cattle
market and stock reports up to the hour
of going to press. The Baltimore Weekly
sun, one dollar year Terms invariably
cash in advance. Postage prepaid by
publishers 10 subscribers in the United
States, Canada and Mexico.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-05-25
1883.
1883.
Harper's Weekly
ILLUSTRATED.

Harper's Weekly has wellestablished
place as the leading illustrated newspaper
In America. The fairness Of its editorial
comments on current politics has earned
for It the respect and confidence of all i'm
partial readers, and the variety and ex-
cellence Of its literary contents, which in
clude serial and short stories by the best
and most popular writers, fit it for the
perusal of tho people of the widest range
of tastes and pursuits. Supplements are
frequently provided, and no expense is
spared to bring the highest order Of artis-
tic ability to bear upon the illustration Of
the changeful phases of home and foreign
history. In all its features HarpeTs
Weekly is admirably adapted to be well
come guest every household.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-05-25

The Volumes Of the Weekly begin with
the first Number for January OF each year.
When no time is mentioned, subscripti ons
will begin with the Number current at
time of receipt OF order.
Bound Volumes of Iiarpcr's Weekly for
three years back in neat cloth binding,
will be scrt by mail, postage paid, or by
express, free of expense (proyided the
freight does not exceed one dollar per
volume), for 3 90 per volume.
Cloth Cases, for each volume, suitable
for binding, will basent by mail postpaid,
on receipt of 81 90 each.
Remittances should be made by POST
Office Money Order or Draft, to avoid
chance of loss.
Newspapers are not to copy this adver-
tisement withoGt the express order OF
Harper Brothers.
Address Harper & Brothers ~ Y.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-05-25
Why She PuCkered.

| will tell You how 1t happens
That one sometimes will make slips
We were sitting close together,
When she puckered up her lips.
Yes-she puckered up her lips;
1t seemed that Cupid beckoned;
took mp the invitation
And kissed her in n second.
She blushed, she turned away,
Came within an ace Of crying
II was not meant at all that way,
But ito whistle" was she trying.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-05-25
l s. s.
Harper's Young People
AN ILLUSTRATED WEEKLY.

Harper's Young People interests all
young readers by its carefully selected
variety of themes and their well-consider-
cd treatment. 1t contains the best serial
and short stories, valuable articles on
scientific subjects and travel, historical
and biographical sketches, papers on
athletic spots and games, stirring poems,
etc, contributed by the brightest and
most famous writers. Its illustrations are
numerous and excellent. Occasional
Supplements of especial interest to Pa
rents and Teachers will be a feature Of the
forthcoming volume, which will comprise
fifty-three weekly numbers. Every line
in the paper is subjected to the most rigid
editorial scrutiny in order that nothing
harmful may enter its columns.
An epitome of everything that IS at
tractiye and desirable in Juvenile litera-
ture.-Boston Courier.
A weekly feast of good things to the
boys aud girls in every family which it
yisits.-BroOkly Union.
1t is wonderful in its wealth of pictures,
information, and Observation-Disclosures
Adyocate. n. Y,
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-05-25

Among the best of men are di'
versities of opinions; which are no
more, IN true reason, to breed ha'
tired, than one that loves black
should be angry with him that is
clothed in white; for thoughts are
the very apparel of the mind.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-05-25

The girl of the period is going to
marry the man of her own choosing
If forty fathers ready to stab or
shoot her stand in the way.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-05-25
Invention

Inventive progress IS a method and sys-
tom of work that can DO performed all
over the country without separating the
workers from their homes. Pay liberal ;
any one can do the work = either sex,
young or old no special ability required
Capital not needed you are started free.
Cut this out and return to MS and we will
send You free, something of great value
and importance to you, that will start you
in business, which will bring you in more
money right away, than anything else in
the world. Grand outfit free, Address
True Il Co., Augusta, Maine,
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-05-25
EATAR Rh

TRY TIE CURE.-A particle is ap
piled into each nostrll and is agreeable
Price 500 cents at druggists; by mail
registered, go cts. ELY BROTHERS, So
Warren ST., New York.
Nov. 4-1y