Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1888-02-23
WIT AND HUM0R.

Life Is real. life Is earnest,
And the grave Is not it's goal;
Iust thou buy est dnst thou burnest
That was spoken OF the coal.
-Ns5rGSka State Journal
silence is golden. said the sage,
But that was long ago;
The motto OF the present age
is Money talks, you know.
Boston Courier.
1t was a pork-paeking Chicago man
Whose knowledge WAS at fault
When be said job Lot was the husband OF
who was tp.ned to a pillar of salt"
| -P5tck
Everybody is more or less pious
these days. Pumpkins pi-ous, we
mean. DdnUjlie Breeze.
A Brooklyn little girl calls her eat
Santa on account Of his claws.-Neeo
York. Morning Journal.
Volapuk, dear inquirer, IS the Ian
guage in which the train men call out
the stations. -PhjLadeiDbja CaH.
When church sewing society meets
at a members house the session soon
develops into an English-speaking
race. Puck.
At the museum. Mrs. My dear,
L NlSu you ~ ObocLNC tulc oCdubiui
statue of Apollo; and this is his wife,
Apolinaris. Life.
She spoke from experience; Gras-
peri lost my pocketbook to-day"
Mrs. Grasper-"I pity the woman who
finds it, Tol0n Tones.
A little lay. Bachelor B.-Why,
Mary, that's a very small egg. Mary
Yes, sir, it is; but it was only laid
this morning, sir.-LDe.
The difference between Jay Gould
and the mlkman is that, while they
both water their stock, the milkmau
always mills his first.-Ltfc.
The destiny that shapes mans end
does not make good shape without
some little assistance on the part of
the man,--Nea0 Orleans Picay,tBe.
1t would seem to the average phil
osopher that the man who wants the
earth the most is the chap sailing
about in a runaway balloon.-DetroB
Free Press
Countryman Cooking Mt elephan0
John? Couutrymau Nav, don't
blieve they are Prob'ly celluloid.-
Ne,U York sun.
Alderman 60 his guest after n good
dinner Elpy shelf Recolicc' every
bo'le o champagne we drink proyish
employment for the workm' c.Osshesh.
-Lontoa P'tnck.
welded 9th Great Pomp" is not
an ideal heading for 81 newspaper ac-
count Of fashionable wcddjng. it
conveys the idea Of mjscegenstion,-
Springfield (Hass.) clarion.
When America was ehristened the
asylum for the oppressed Of all ma
lions information relative to Anarch-
lists and English sparrows was rather
meager. Boston Transcript.
Bootblack (to old gentleman -
Want er SHINE, boss? Old gentleman
No; its going to rain, sonny. Boot
black-Ill get EN- shined up afore it
rains, boss Teas SyliHgs.
A terrible glutton: Child What
a big mouf Mr.. Smiz must have.
Mother-''Why, darlngP" Child-"I
heard him say he swallowed two ponies
this morning. Io,on Topics.
A ~riter says tho Turks will cheat
but viii Dot rob man. He can't con-
vince people Of that in country
where IA Ottoman is always foot
psd. BSnghamtoB Republican,
Brown (who has given his friend
cigar) These are something like ci-
CARS. eh, old boy? Jones (dubiously
regarding his) Ycs-er. something
like hat are they? 7ezaS SiftiHgs.
If Bouguorcau wants to send his
picture Of Adam and Eve weeping
over the bod Of Abel to New YORK he
will have 10 tit them out " tin seal
skin sacques and ulstors - Fstt5Glrg
Post.
Stranger Is Mr.. Blinks in? Hotel
clerk-Yes, he's in his room. Tell
him MI Schw ffcrwtzenouterhe
Front tell l26 gentleman from
Cincinnati wishes to see him. - Oma&o
World
Tho idea of using axle grease on
bread seems utterly repulsive to some
people until they have tasted the fresh
country butter sold at somo of the
western groceries. Nebraska State
Journal
Guest-Have you fre-escape in
this house? Landlord of 'em,
sir. GUEST thought so. The FIRE
all escaped in my room last night,
and l came near freezing. Laurence
AB!crgcaH
A scientist declares that the hair
curls sitter death. Now, when you
hear you wife say that she's made
i pie that will make your hair curl.
you'll know just what she means. -
Ionbers Statesman.
4 Brooklyn photographer has struck
a bonanza. He is working off large
number Of photographs of the en-
trance to Mammoth Cave labeled
Herr Most on tho Platform. u Bur
!ington Free Press,
A Fremonter received $1,000 dam
ages for losing his iaet by freezing
when he WAS drunk A man in Ere