Telegram-herald., 1888-07-14
A LIVELY ARTICLE.
Lob Bprisfts Wrote It. but IL Didn1
Please the Subject

Lob B1rdsfts Wrote ft. but 10 DidnS
Please the Subject.
Robart j. Buriette. whom everybody
knows whether they ever saw him or not.
used TO run a little daily paper in Peoria.
Ills. l believe II was Peoria-anyhew. it
was the paper he enjoyed running SO
much. because there was never any IN
certainty about it. Hc knew positively
every Monday morning that there wouldn't
be enough money to pay the compositors
Saturday night.
He hadn't written so much good humor
then as he has since. bot IL used to crop
out once In a while-he couldn't help it.
One day prominent citizen OF Peoria got
into trouble with q hackman about tho
amount Of his charge or something. and
took of his coat and fought him all around
the block He made it red day for hack
men. too. and go pretty excited before he
finished. The next morning Burdctte had
pretty nearly q column about IL. There
had been SO much space to fill and he
turned his fancy loose and filed IL. He
had laughed about 1t quietly to himself
all the way home that night after he
wrote it, and in the morning read it over
TO see if the boys had got It set up all
right, and smiled sort Of inwardly to HIM
self again.
About the middle of the afternoon the
man who had the trouble came in. Bur
dette trembled kttle at first, because he
didn't know how he might have taken 1t,
bat the man wore o broad grin on his
face and seemed TO be very much ttckled
over IL.
ar hat was o good one on me IN Tho
Howlet this morning" said the man.
"Er-yes-do you think soy' said Bur
dette.
"Oh. capital-took it of first class. Did
you write 1T"
"Oh, yes. scratched 1t of in a hurry
last night. We have TO have something
to fll up"
"0f course. But 1t was really good.
didn't know you could do as wen ss that" !"
went on the man enthusiastically.
''Oh, didn't think much of it," re-
turned Burdette modestly. IF had only
had little more time perhaps l might
have made something out Of II"
''oh, you had time enough-plenty Of
time. assure you. It was fine OF course
didn't really do ell you said did
'Oh. of course not. Certainly not. Got
TO have something lively in a newspaper.
You know"
II seo-especially in live local paper !"
"You understand it."
al think so. OF course I didn't yell
like a man with his foot in lawn mower
all the time was having the controversy" d"
"Oh. no-we have to exaggerate .
little"
II see. And then I didn't raise the
hackman up and pound the face of the
earth with him till the police stopped me
for wearing ont the paving"
NO. not at all-had to mako it lively.
you know"
"Of course Then l didn't chase him
into the country half a mile. did nowf'
II never heard that you did. just
slipped that In. You know a local
paper
Il understand. Then Of course didn't
roar 80 coming back that people thought
ther- vas . hail storm coming"
~a. you didn't roar at all made that
part up to make II lively"
II thought 50. Then didn't stand on
the corner and howl till was tired and
say could lick any hackman who ever
looked through collar. and 90 around
the streets cracking my heels to- ther
and saying was from Bitter creek where
1t want more than foot wide"
''Of course not--nothing OF the kind at
! all just put that in--got to in a small
town with daily paper. you see"
Il notice you have 10. lt was funny
piece, take Y AL together"
Yes. thought perhaps It was little
! funny" admitted Burdette, little un-
easily
You say in Il the hackman was q small
usnY'
WAY, yes, rather small. understood.
Probably not a. small al you are"
'oh. n-no. presume not I'm not very
big. you see Pleasant weather we're
having. major
"1a-e-s. very pleasant-a little cold
for hsokmen aud some editors know Of.
/ Probably. then. il I licked the hsckrnan
there wouldn't be any doubt but that
oosd lick your
oh. n-no: no. SIR. not = particle of
doubt Going TO the caucus tonight,
colonei7"
II expect 20 be there. bat you wont
youh be IN the hoEpitsl--you little. iDsig-
Eifesnt. oue hcrse country edita<. ana BE
reached ont and got Burde<te BY the cob
lar. Chased Tho rsa out beyond the
fair grounds. asd r Roar~i like the 30
cypress coming bsck. did r. and he beSsn
I tsbbsng Buriette up ard down Ike the
aasher Il sn old fashioned churn Ny
actions -eGId have made a fSh lsreh, eh'
I Eowled sroznd tiE ! nede The werld :
back ache lid T7~ and al the tine he SO
I dsuciuG around the ofice vita Isardeste
a. arms lsnrth- On. you're gong
I q Be the great American hnnoris.
[ No doubt ~ i st AL f0au make
+ the universe 6euble I'D ard ro1 on
+ tie zrass sor1e cay Yeu're funny. oh.
+ 80 vs-y f1nnyf jass give yoss little rlo-s
T practice On re snd ron ear star+ CIT lec-
I tarsng~ snd i1's hsrd - tel shat ro-iS
kave secorne u poor Burdette II hiS
prsss-nsn aadnt eouss Ia fus1 tben. w4tn
T hi< siaeves relied - snd ink o. the si5e
- hss nase snd relieved him TIE r-sss-
ran foaxAt the asa ten Ein-.es hefo-s
T ke rssnac-d - tesT ks@ e-s< - md s5rf
ID both IFS e~es ard 60 hSa 5c~-n Ire
srsirs s7d ksif vzT scrcss sh< si<se~,Tk
F Re sccozr plsshe6 4 Al lzxs, brrevr-. sad
+ vert ssrk - work, sid Bara<<te rs.h.
sred kizsslf tocpther s1d ~ross ID :
soss-nu srrcuat q he 6es1k q fhe clless
Ere ,fs~rsa. vssl hed tsss -ass~d s-zy =
Hsu Ezrx Trz<rzA