davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-11
A Dude Bridegroom.

How do look, Dicky %
Dicky is the "best man" and 9
brother dude. He replies with grea
fervor:
ooh, splendid, deah boy, splendid.
"Weally, Dicky''
"'Pop honah, old fellow"
"Me necktie all right, Dicky ?"
Eyes, yes-everything's all right"
"Weally, Dicky?"
"'Pon honah, dear boy"
"Me coat sets we'll in the back
Dicky?"
Couldn't be bettah."
"Weally, Dicky ?"
"Yes, weally."
80, Dicky
well, deah boy?"
Isn't there winkle, a great, hor-
rid winkle in my right glove?'
"No-'pon honah.
ooh, I'm so glad, for-O, Dicky p
We'll, me boy"
Would you mind taking the
brush and smoothing me hair down a
little on the left side p'
with pleasure, old fel."
"Ah, thanks"
How do you feel, me boy?"
"A triAe nervous, Dicky."
"Ah, brace up, me boy
What time is it, Dicky ?"
"a quarter to s."
"Ah! Almost time for the cere.
mony. Hanged if don't wish il
was all over with. You sure look
all right, Dicky?"
Splendid, old fel."
"Ah, thanks awfully, deah boy,
I'm twihe pale, eh, Dickyi'
"A mere trihe."
"Ah, thanks. Would you mind
tanning me little, Dicky?'
with pleasure, me dear boy"
80, Dicky, what if should faintY
There, there, me boy; don't get
nervous"
Hanged if can help it. All, it's
time to meet Helen, and / look all
right, my necktie-I-my trousers
for l-I--my hair, Dicky, my hair,
Ito, Dicky, I'm so nervous p
Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-11

1t was on May morning that he
strolled into a garden with Miss Tenie
McGinnis, spinster of 4S. They sat
down on garden bench, and Mr..
Billings unwittingly said
See those robins building their
nest in that old apple tree"
"Oh, Mr.. Billings" but Billings
seeming to have lapsed into idiocy.
rambled on :
Don't you like to see the little
birds mate p
"Oh, Mr.. Billings, how you do
talk"
Really, Miss McGinnis, i"
"Oh, Mr.. Billings"
"Why, Miss"
"Oh, Mr.. Billings !"
"No; but, really, Miss McGinnis,
I'm in earnest, l love to"
ooh, you naughty man! And did
you bring me out here to say this to
me? Oh, Mr.. Billings
"Why, l only said that l loved"
Oh-oh-it's all so sudden. What
shall | say? III suppose you'll just
make me say yes. I-I-oh, George p
"Why, IL"
"My George !"
"Why, woman, ="
81 suppose l could be ready in a
month, if you insist, dear George %
"See here, Miss"
Hush, darling, someone is coming"
And when their host and hostess
appeared Miss McGinnis blushed and
said with downcast eyes:
Were engaged"
And Billings hadn't the courage to
deny it-so they were married.-Free
Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-11

"And we could walk down through
the vale of this life together and be
happy sighed an antiquated fema lie
in widows weeds to a rich old bacbel-
or with matrimonial tendencies.
And why 50, darling p replied he.
Because ] saw you extract roach
from the biscuit this morning and
continue eating as unmindful and un-
concerned as the summer sun when it
breathes over the sleeping valleys"
-Pretzel's Weekly.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-11
Caught.

BY reason of his very skillful ma.
neuvering and great adroitness, Mr.
Billings had lived to the age of 40
without becoming benedict, but in
an unguarded moment the discipline
of a lifetime availed him nothing.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-11
Their Business Rooming

Probably no one thing has caused such
u general revival Of trade at Field &
Gray's drug store as their giving away to
their customers Of SO many free trial bot
ties of pr. Kings New Discovery for Con
sumption. Their trade Is simply cnor,
nous In this very valuable article from
the fact that IL always cures and never
disappolnts. Coughs, Colds, Asthma
Bronchitis, Group, and all throat and
lung diseases quickly cured. You can
test IL before buying by getting trial
bottle free, large size 81 Every bottle
warranted. 3
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-11
Advertising Rates.

Business Cards, one year. one dollar per line.
Local notices, among local reading matter, ten
'ents per lina foE eash insertion.
business notices. Ave cents por limo Zach insertion
Births, Marriages and Deaths free.
Obituaries, Resolutions. Cards Of Thanks. v,o
st advertisins rates.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-11

" NON and i,s are prev prevented n BY 'fSs. Dys'
yepsis, use Acker's Dyspepsia Tablets
They are positive cure for Dyspepsia, In.
digestion, Flatulency and Constipation.
We guarantee them. rs and 80 cents.
Sold by u Becbe.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-11
Children Cry for Pitchers Castoria.

When Baby was sick, we gave her csstoris-
When she was Child, she cried for castoria,
When she became Miss, she clung TO castoris,
When she had Children, she gave them cassoris,
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-11

A swinging sign in front of a
Chicago store bears the legend, Truth
Spoken Here" 1t is necessary to
hang out a sign like that in Chicago.
-Philadelphia Call.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-11

"The great end of life, my dear
children" said Deacon Bucrag, who
was addressing the Sunday school, sis
not to think, but to act"
Here the scholars assumed an en-
couraging look of intelligence.
Now, what is it that is the great
end of life ?" asked the deacon.
No response,
Come, my dear children" went OH
the good man, cheerfully. II have
just told you what 1t is. Cannot you
answer the question y
"PIease, SIR piped a weak voice
from one of the back seats, ~ know
what 1t is."
"Ah, that's right, my little man
now speak out and tell the scholars
what the great end of life is"
! death. ."-Drake's Magazine.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-11

Stranger-What is this? Ink, pens
and paper-one thalar! What writ
ing have you had to do fer me
Landlord-Why, the bill .-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-11
Ar. Bay City.

.paily. All other trains daily except sunday
p.rioT ,srs on Aay trains. Sleeping cars on night
"''" WHITING, Ticket Agent.
n n R;JOGI.Es q. l.. a T. Agt.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-11

De Wiggs-Old fellow, | am truly
sorry for you. You seem to have
married tartar.
Biggs-It is true. But, then, she's
beautiful and wealthy.
De Wiggs-Ah, sort of cream of
tartars, Pittsburgh Bulletin.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-11

If the human race was evolved
from the apes, it at least has the sat-
isfaction in knowing that its ancestors
were intelligent-they were educated
in the higher branches.-New York
Tribune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-11

The ancient proverb says you
can't get more out of bottle than you
put in it," That's an error. Besides
what he put in, he can get headache,
sick stomach, and perhaps ten days
in the lockup.-Western Druggist.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-11

Old man from the floor above) --
Is that young man still in the parlor
Clara
Young man (nervously)--Y Yes, sir
but he is trying to get away.-Har-
per's Bazaar.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-11

She Cat the races Whats the
trouble on the judges stand, George
He-There's some dispute over the
last heat.
She-Aren't their thermometers all
alike, George ?-Texas Siftings.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-11

mo, Mr.. Brown, | can never be
anything more than a sister to you"
"a sister? | needed one badly.
Just look after my washing, will youi
| haven't had clean shirt for a
week. ."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-11

Woman (to tramp)-After you've
eat that pie will you saw little wood!
Tramp (eying the pie)-Yes, ma
am, if Pm alive Texas Siftings.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-11
WIT AND HUMOR

A bowling swell-the sea in storm.
.Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-11

They were talking of Mr.. -, who
lives in Kalamazoo. "Some relative
must have left him u fortune" said
one, "he lives In fine style lately"
"Oh, that's easy enough, his celery
has been raised" said another. -Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-11

There is scarcity of young men
at some Of the summer resorts, and
the girls are suffering from poor male
facilities. ."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-11

Miss Braddon is just bringing out a
novel entitled "The Fatal Three.
Wonder if the scene is laid in front
of pawn shop Aurora Blade.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-11

"This is very strange" remarked
Billy Blivens tboughtfully, after he
had tasted the contents of the butter
dish. "Very strange, indeed"
What is strange ?"
That such delicate, pale butter
should turn out so robust. N--Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-11

If the transatlantic captain makes
every trip, how can he be called n
"skipper"-Ex.
, 1888-07-20
GEN. GIRBON.
He Arrived In the City Yesterday--A
War Time Hero.

Brig. Gen. John Gibbon was in the
city yesterday. and will be here again TO-
day on private business-he in the mean
time being located at Fort Russell.
Gen. Gibbon, who is now a brigadier
general in the regular army, was for a
long time in command at Fort Laramie,
and was at that point when his promotion
from the rank of colonel occurred less
than two years ago, after which time he
went to the Pacific coast, where he is now
stationed in command of one of the de-
partments of the Pacific division. Dur
ing the war Gen. Gibbon became a major
general of volunteers and actively partici-
pated in Learly every campaign under
taken by the army of the Potomac.
Gen. Gibbon was possessed of a large
amount of personal magnetism, and there
was not a general in that army better
liked by his men, or one who would
awaken more enthusiasm than he. The
writer well remembers how on the morn
ing after the great battle of Sunday,
April 81, 1865, south of Petersburg, and
while portions OF the old Sixth and Ninth
corps were pouring into the doomed city,
Generals Grant and Meade rode by, which
occasioned great cheering among the
troops. But shortly after that and while
there was a temporary halt, Gen. Gibbon
who was in command not only of his OWE
division but of a portion of the Twenty,
fourth corps also, rode along the line and
the cheering was tremendous-equal al
least to that which had greeted Grant and
Meade. In response Gen. Gibbon took
off his hat, thus returning the compli-
ment, and remarked Boys, they might
as well give it up now"
Major Freeman is here also, and they
will both remain for a day or two.
, 1888-07-20
ANOTHER DAY.
Progress of the Patterson Murder
Trial.
Interesting Law Points Discussed
Pro and Con.
Regarding "Tin Hats"
Runningwater Experiences.

Yesterday was spent in the taking Of
testimony in the Patterson murder case,
and in considering law points which
necessarily arose. One of these came up
on Wednesday afternoon, but was not de-
cided until yesterday forenoon. The
question vas an interesting one, and
arose after the testimony of Patterson,
taken on the former trial. had been used
by the prosecution to establish certain
admissions made by the defendant as to
his escape and change of name. The
testimony had to be taken as a whole,
and to illustrate the point it may be said
that in this testimony. Patterson having
denied that he killed Tin Hat and the
prosecution having virtually made the de-
PENDANT their own witness, it was con-
tended by the defense that the territory
was thereby precluded from disproving
the truthfulness of his statement.
The court, however, did not hold ex-
actly that way, but the ruling was such
that the prosecution was restricted some.
what in regard to how far they may now
contradict the defendant.
G. W. Fox, county clerk of Albany,
took the stand as a witness for the ter
ritory, the object being to prove the age
of Tin Hat. The marriage license under
which Tin Hat married the lady who is
now Mrs. Funk was issued by Mr.. Fox,
and prior to that Tin Hat had to make
the statutory affidavit as to his age.
1t was claimed by the prosecution that
the testimony of Fox could be received
for the purpose of determining how old
the deceased was at the time of this mar
riage, but the court held that Tin Hats
affidavit would not be evidence and that
the county clerks records were simply
evidence that the law in relation to mar
rage licenses had been complied with and
that an affidavit had been filed, but would
not be evidence of the contents of the af
fdavit.
In passing upon this point Judge Ma
ginnis said that the age of a person may
be proved by the father o rmother or other
members of ones family and by a birth
certificate when the Law. requires that one
shall be kept, but that itcannot be proved
by the mere declaration of the party whose
age is sought to be established.
Several witnesses were examined yes
terday afternoon. including Russell Thorp,
John Driscoll and others, their evidence
being in the main confined to the doings
and conduct of Patterson and Tin Hat
around Runningwater, Mr.. Thorp, how
ever, testifying as to what became of the
skeleton after it was found and where it
had been kept.
The evidence for to-day will probably
be of more interest than that of yester-
day. and court will convene again at 9
o'clock this morning.
, 1888-07-20
WENT TO CHURH.
The Experience sheriff SharpIess
Had Last Sunday.

The LEADER has already mentioned
the fact that the jury in the Patterson
murder case attended services at the
Methodist church last Sunday in charge
of Sheriff Sharplcss and Bailif Douglas.
MIR. Sharpless claims that there must
have beenA job put up on him to get
him to church (for ouce) and he thinks
there are several implicated in it and he
mas several reasons to state why he thinks
so. Among these is the fact that the
party whom he sent out to notify the pas
tor of the church that the jury would at
tend and whom he hoped would not find
the reverend gentleman at all, hurried
back in a few minutes and making a very
economical use of facts, explained that the
preacher had heard that the jury were
coming and he had met the reverend gen.
tleman who was about to come to the
court house to urge that they be sent
right along.
"Goll darn it, we're elected, DougIasI'
exclaimed the sheriff.
wen have to go as sure as fate"
They went, and it so happened that
Presiding Elder Merritt made good use of
the sheriff indirectly while there. Mr..
Merritt made an appeal for funds for
church purposes, and little envelopes
were sent around to the members of the
congregation, in which they could deposit
and send in their contributions. II had
, 1888-07-20
A Slight Blaze.

Fairly yesterday afternoon the long con
tinued blowing of whistles and later on
the alarm bell, gave notice hat a fire was
in progress in the southwestern portion of
the city. The fire department turned out
and its various companies were promptly
on hand at the front, which was found to
be near the west end of the Union Pacific
railroad yards. A fat car which was par
tally covered with loose dry bark and
other combustible material had been stand
ing on one of the sidetracks for a portion
of the day, and the sparks from a passing
engine had caused the material to ignite,
and a good, respectable blaze had started
and was under fair Roadway when the fire
was discovered. The flames were soon ex-
tinguished, however, and parties who
climbed upon the car scattered the burn
ing material in a moment. To conclude
the affair one of the engines hooked on to
the endangered car and ran it up to where
water from one of the hydrants could be
poured over it, which was speedily done.
The damage was slight and not worth
figuring up.
, 1888-07-20

The play 3 WiUes to l Husband, pre-
scented at the opera house last evening by
the WILDER combination was certainly very
diverting. 1t deserved a much bigger
audience han witnessed it last night.
Those who attended found in it much to
enjoy. There is wonderful variety to the
play and the plot is so very intricate as to
cause much merriment in its successful
unravelling.
, 1888-07-20
TOWN TALK.
Cosby Little Paragraphs Picked Up
Throughout the City.

The K temperature yesterday
was So, minimum AS.
The conference will last up to and in
Guiding Monday of next week.
There are still some twenty-five or thirty
witnesses to examine in the Patterson
case.
The Jury in the Patterson case, judging
from appearances, must be getting very
weary.
Travel is still heavy, Notwithstanding
the fact that the excursion season is over
for the time being.
The little town Of Egbert is beginning
to boom somewhat, and town lots are sell
ing high down there.
Work was resumed on the streets yes
terday by a very small brigade, which did
good service, however.
The John f. Reynolds post will hold a
regular meeting at Grand Army head
quarters this evening at s o'clock.
Taking it all together yesterday was
quite a dull day in the Patterson trial, and
the attendance of spectators was very
slim.
Albert Rouleau will shortly move his
Bon Ton restaurant into the vacant room
formerly occupied as a bakery, on the
south ride of Seventeenth street.
The Cheyenne kids are getting enter
prising, and there are not less than four
lemonade stands in full blossom in the
city, that have been started by them.
1t is understood that Gen. Thompson
will make a speech to the Bandana club
before long. and also one at Laramie City
to another organization of the same name.
The reason why Rev. Earl Cranston,
d. D., did not come when looked for was
because he in some way missed the train
at Kansas City. Had he arrived when he
was expected he would have seen several
hundred people at the depot who were on
the watch for him.
The publisher of the Rocky Mountain
Advocate, which contains CAROLS poem,
recited at the reception, arrived in the city
last evening bringing several hundred
copies of the paper along, most of which
are already disposed of.
Mr.. Sachs has entered the service Of
Messrs. Klrchoff 4 Newhart, cigar and
tobacco dealers of Chicago, and will travel
for that firm hereafter. These Chicago
, 1888-07-20
Evening Session.

The church was crowded with people
last evening and the exercises were of
great interest to all in attendance, The
subject considered was that Of church
extension, and upon that subject Rever-
ends Madison and j. R. RAIDER spoke
briefly but ably and well, and they were
followed by DR.. Spencer, D. D., who
made the address of the evening.
DR.. Spencer, who is a natural born
orator, dwelt at some length on the vari-
Gus ways and means Of extending the
church influence and churches. He had
been engaged in that kind of work for a
good while, and the speaker explained
the plan of his work, There were two
ways. One was to obtain money by sub
scription by means of cards, which when
signed by an Individual makes him or her
a soldier in church extension work, and
the subscriber pays $40 per year. The
other plan was to obtain money by sub
scription. New churches should be built
for new converts and missionaries should
be sent abroad. Those who come to our
shores should be Americanized, and that
will be a great help.
incidentally DR.. Spencer paid a glow
ing compliment to the foreign element
and what it has done for this country...in
times of need. DR.. Spencer, who is a
magnificent singer also, favored the aud
fence with some fine selections, the last of
which was "My Mothers Hands,, it be-
ing very beautiful.
Bishop Joyce made a few eloquent and
appropriate remarks after DR.. Spencer
had concluded. One observation made
by the bishop was well worthy of special
consideration. He said that we must
send missionaries abroad in self defense,
and that when the people in those foreign
countries, now under the ban of darkness,
are educated and christianized at home,
the lord will tip the world over a little
and thev will slide over here and we shall
have them on our hands to civilize after
all.
, 1888-07-20
FIfty-Flye Cases.

The Union Cattle company land cases
are ftty-fve in number, and it would
seem from the present outlook that it will
take what spare time Register Wilson and
Receiver Garrard can devote to them for
several months to come before they can
all be heard and acted upon by the office
here. Homestead, desert, presumption
and tree culture claims are all involved in
these cases, and there are many people
interested either directly or indirectly in
the outcome.
, 1888-07-20
FINE ROCK.
Sent by the Iron Mountain Stone
Company.

Quite a quantity of very fine building
stone has been received in this city which
will be shipped to Denver in the care
of the state capitol architect of Colorado,
who has to a certain extent the selecting
of the material to be used in the con-
struction of. the state house.
This stone was sent to Cheyenne by the
Iron Mountain Stone company, and is
taken out of one of the company's fine
quarries in the vicinity of Iron mountain.
1t is nearly as white as marble and as
hard as hint-just the kind needed in the
erection of fine buildings. In addition to
this the quality of the stone is such that
the weather and the elements will in no
wise affect it. 1t may be that the Colo
RADIO people will conclude that this is just
the kind of material desired, and If so
the company will have a call for the fur
nishing of a large lot of this stone for
immediate and future use on the new
Colorado state editice.
, 1888-07-20
WIND OF THE WEST.


At last the Day Is done,
At last the pitiless Sun,
With his eye of red, unsparing light,
Is drowned in a cloud deluge out of sight,
And over the purple cloud billows-white
And calm rides the silver bark
OF the Evening Star-a lonely ark.
Ali What soft stir,
What wing like whir9
What comes from the west like q dove OF peace
From ark and deluge in blest releasoY
'Tis thou, sweet Wind of the westl
Dove, with soft GOODNESS upon thy breast
Obi bring me a spell of rest.
Sweet, sweet Wind of tho WestI
You bring fresh balm to my window flowers,
The drink your breath as they drink the
showers;
Bring me a message of peace
From the land whence you come when the. hot
hours cease
The Land of the purple West
Beyond the Sierras' crest,
Where one dwells who is dearer far
To my heart than to Evening her one white star.
OH Wind, in your wandering quest,
Have you kissed those lips that 1 loved the best9
Have you tossed those locks l have oft caressedY
Lost to me now for aye,
Only my Dreams may stray
Light as your wing, oh, Wind OF the West,
Wnd as your wing In its sad unrest,
To the One / love tho best.
New York Fashion Bazar.