Omaha daily bee., 1888-05-20
CONNUBIALITIES.

He knew that she painted and padded,
but he
The secret would never betray,
But when as a bride at the altar stood
The old fellow "gave her away"
At a German wedding it is not at all re-
markable if someone gets Hochzeited.
How can a bride be expected to show self
possession when she is being given away.
Bridal settlements are not always stable af-
fairs, even though they may be forestalled.
A certain style of shoe-button is called
"Old Maids Wedding" because it never
comes off.
The result OF that little matrimonial quar-
rel seems to be that Bismarck concurred and
Cupid conquered.
Papa will never consent, John" "Tm
sorry.' $50 am II "You're an angel.'
"You're a goose.n "Then let's fly."
A new brand of flower is called "The
Bridal Veil.'' II has often occurred to us
that thisw would be a good name for rouge.
A wag says that it is proposed to alter the
formula of the marriage service to who
will dare to take this woman for his welded
wifeir
The sultan of Morocco now has 5000 wives.
AT this season of the year he never passes a
millinery shop without ~shuddering and feel
ing sick Mt heart.
The duke of Marlborough, who is now in
New York, utterly repudiateS the story that
he is to marry Mrs. Hamersley, and says he
does not know the lady.
Young husband-And you will never take
the wedding-ring from your finger, darlings
Young whichever, George; death or di-
vorce will alone remove it.
1t appears on further inquiry that Solomon
had only seventy wives instead of 1,0O0, as
stated in King James edition. Solomon was
a wiser man than we thought him.
The sultan of Morocco is trying to attract
n hpnvy pmiprntinn nf American married
men. He has issued a decree prohibiting
millinery openings IN his dominions.
A couple were married in Atchison, Kan.
the other day who had nothing in the world
but 10 cents with which to pay their toll
across the bridge which spans the Missouri
at that. place.
NO" said the bride to her father, 'there
is no need of your going with me to the altar.
l prefer to go without you. I've been "a great
flirt, you know, and l don't want you to give
mo away.
"Why is it that the groom always seems
frightened at a wedding" remarked a young
woman. "Humph! He's got a rightto be-"
was the ~rejoinder of an old married man
within hearing.
A young lady married a chap in Pennsyl-
vania the other day after having refused him
eighteen times. She was eighteen, he was
twenty-eight, and had just 81, 600 IN the bank
their ages combined.
The editor of a paper at Amite City, La,
has Just married his sixth wife. As he is a
veteran of the Texan warof independence he
has the requisite courage for a sixth cam
paign in the matrimonial field.
In u lot Of unrecorded marriage licenses,
discovered the other day in Louisville, KY,
was that of George Francis Train, who mar
ried there Henrietta w. Davis-George D..
Prentice giving the bride away.
Maggie Hughey, a Pittsburg woman of
forty, was married Friday to her third hus-
band just five hours after her lamented No.
2 had joined the silent majority-an unusual
intermingling of Grape and orange blossoms.
Ex-Governor Downey, of California, aged
seventy, has just married his housekeeper,
aged forty-presumably to escape a suit for
breach of promise with which he was threat
ened by a young literary lady of the Pacific
coast.
Miss Edith to bashful lover)-You know
it is leap year, Mr.. Smith, and we ladies have
a right to speak frankly. b b. (enthused)-
Oh, yes-yuu- Edith-Well, / wish you
would cease calling. l an engaged to Mr..
Brown.
There are queer people in this world. A
young woman in MahanOy City refused to
marry her lover, but when he proved his de-
votion by blowing up her house with dyna-
mite she wantod to marry him to keep him
out of Jail.
A Chicago man sued his wife for a divorce
on the ground of cruelty. The cruelty con-
oloItt III biS "a hpiiii 'lVeii y AiocuiiN
with a pair of scissors and clipping off his
long, flowing beard. OF course the man got
the divorce.
A wedding took place at st. Paul, MINI,
last week, where the groom was over six feet
tall and the bride a little over two feet in
height. During the ceremony the girl stood
on a chair, her head just reaching to the
groom's shoulder.
A negro couple of Atlanta, who desired q
very private wedding, called up the justice
at midnight and had the ceremony performed
then. They declared they were too bashful
to go through the ceremony when everybody
was around to see and hear.
According to a Commercial correspondent
who saw Chaska and his bride at St. Paul,
the Indian is a subject for commiseration.
TIL groom is young and handsome as In
dams go, while the bride looks like a medal
lion from the tomb of Rameses.
Birmingham, Mich, man was so afraid
of catching the measels of his sick relative
that he would not go home, but went some
where else, and got married-and then he
caught the measels while on his wedding
tour, and had 'em very bad, too.
A Kentucky court has just awarded / cent
damages to a rural young woman of that state
for a black eye received in a fight with a
rival belle-whOse occasion was the fact that
one girl had Il beau while the other had none
and Haunted her escort in her rivals face.
Senior Murnage, the Spanish minister at
Washington, some time ago presented Next
can opals to three young ladies, two of whom
have since been married and the third is en-
gagged. So it seems there is really some
thing in the ancient superstition concerning
the ill-luck attached to the opal.
Mr.. George William Griswold of Nina,
was married yesterday TO Miss Hattie Hunt
of Chicago. The couple met for the first time
an hour before the ceremony, the marriage
being the result of a correspondence
begun through the medium of a matrimonial
agency.
The latest girl to elope with a coachman is
n midget compared with whom Mrs. Thomas
Thumb is a giantess." She was the heiress
of Mrs. Henry Hoskins with a large fortune
coming TO her. The coachman is Albert
Beadle, who removed with the family re-
Gently from Dakota To West st. Paul. The
mother has disowned the girl.
Secretary Bayard cannot make a social
move without setting the tongues of gossips
TO wagging. Last week he and Miss Bayard
gave a dinner TO Rose Elizabeth Cleveland.
OF course, rumor now has il that the secretary
of state is engaged TO the presidents sister.
But the same gossips who are repeating this
were certain a few days ago that Mr.. Bayard
was TO marry Mrs. Folsom.
snow that you are going to marry my
daughter i would like to know something of
your habits said Pap Vaquero, a Pan
handle cattleman. VERY well, sir.' "Do
you smoke or chewin "Never did either in