Omaha daily bee., 1888-03-11
IMPIETIES.

patients healed by divine aid" is the
ign of a faith curist at Boston Highlands.
Az a railroad crossing near the depot in
Adrian, Mich, is q sign bearing the words
prepare TO meet thy God.'i
Jones (who catches his pastor out fishing
Sunday)-Goo morning, doctor. Are you
studying theology! Minister-Yes; ichthy-
ology.
The conflict of science and religion is being
adjusted rapidly. Electrical lighting has
been introduced in st. Paul's cathedral at
London.
Bishop Potter of New York has come out
against indiscriminate giving. The bishop
need not worry himself. There is not much
indiscriminate giving these days.
Rev. Stcpford Brooks, of London, is to
come TO this country on n lecture tour. II is
to be hoped that he will not be overcome
with 'the vastness' Of nour domain, as was
DR.. Parker. ,F
Elder Jones-Well, Brother Smith, how
many have you in your new churchl Elder
Smith-Oh, two hundred and some odd. How
many have you? Elder Jones-Two hundred
and all odd.
Two Indianapolis clergymen attended q
ten-round glove contest in order to depict
the brutality of it from the pulpit, but they
failed to depict. There was no blood and no
knock downs.
Chang, the Chinese giant of Barnum's
show and dime museum notoriety, is now a
tea broker in Shanghai, Like the man of
holy. writ, he now exclaims: "Oolong, o
Lord, Oolongl''
minister of the gospel in Louisiana hay
ing been asked to become a candidate for
the legislature, gives several reasons for de.
Ginning to run, one of which is that he fears
politics would take from him much OF his
religious comfort, and make death hard"
~ sometimes thlnk,,' said M. Renan, t,e
other day, that from the depths of hell 1
shall manage to win the relenting favor Of
God; provided, that l am allowed to talk to
him in French. There / trust that French
will be'the language of eternity. Ii it is not,
| am lostlp
There must be great destitution among the
numerous individuals who kept saloons in
Fargo before it went "dry." A minister up
there suggests raising a tax for their tempo
rary support, and thinks it would be a good
scheme for the prohibitionists to establish
them in lemonade stands and agree to buy a
certain number of drinks a day.
"A compositor in Cassell's London printing
othce committed, suicide recently, after leav-
ing the following note for his foreman:
Dear Mr.. Simmer: Please excuse my leav-
ing without giving the usual fortnight's
notice, but / have received a %peremptory
summons to go to heaven to set the title page
TO the Book of Life Yours, II. G. S.
Agnew."
Mr.. Bracelin, of Clam Lake township,
Mich, invented a new religion, and became
so absorbed in getting it on the market and
supplying the demands of those Of his neigh
bors who wanted some of it, that he neglect
ed to provide his wife with bread, bustles
and other necessaries of life, for which the
officers swooped down upon him and took
him to the Cooler"
Rev. DR.. Joseph A. Teiss, of Philadelphia,
is giving a series of lectures on the character
of Job. The principal characteristic of this
biblical character is generally understood to
be the great success with which he raised
several crops of large and painful boils, and
the patience he exhibited in being obliged to
eat his soup standing. job was never COM.
PEELED, so fer as history informs us, to read
literature on a protective tariff, or he would
have become very, very weary.