Wichita eagle., 1888-05-04
A CRICK IN THE BACK.
CHAUNCEY M. DEPEW CONSULTS
SIR HENRY THOMPSON.
Eleven Dollars for an Experience with
One of Royalty's Physicians-Inquiry
Concerning Daily Habits-An Explans-
tion-The Doctors Good Advice.

STORY LnaL eXaculy meets the SltuaU1On- ne
says himself that he prefers stories that come
naturally in this way, and if he has had any
success as an entertainer, 1t is because he
tells his own stories instead of repeating those
that are told to him. The consequence of his
being asked an average OF 100 times day
about his health, and when he expects to be
well enough to undertake his regular daily
dinner speech, is that he has furnished up
his memory in regard to an experience he
had in London last summer when he became
patient OF Sir Henry Thompson, and it
makes very interesting tale.
''Sir Henry Thompson, you know" he says,
sis perhaps the SWEETEST physician in Europe.
While was in London I met friend one
morning who told me he was going to Sir
Henry Thompson's.
"'What does he charger l asked.
1.-TWO guineas is his fee, said my friend.
'Weu, that was only S11, and it struck me
that s11 wasn't much to pay for an expert
ence with one Of royalty's physicians, so
said: Il will 60 along, too Well, went to
house in the West End Of town, was shown
into waiting room by hveried servant,
who came in the course Of time and said the
doctor was ready to see me. found the old
gentleman in his study, and he rose and took
my hand and asked me my name, and said,
to my establishment, that he knew me.
WHAT WAS THE MATTER
"'Oh,' he said, Il have often heard of you.
You are from America. What is the matter
with your
"Well, there wasn't anything the matter
with me, but had been thinking up what
should say when this question was asked,
and I was all prepared. So ] replied
promptly, 4 have crick in my back Well,
be made me tell him all about that, and l in
vented O pretty good series of such symptoms
as 1 should suppose would accompany crick
in the back He sat down and wrote in a
large book what told him, and then told me
that he made it a practice to keep full
record of the facts regarding the physical
history of each patient. So he began at the
beginning and asked me about my birth and
about my parents, who, as you know, were
rugged country folks. Finally he got down
to my present daily habits.
"'Now, what do you do from morning till
nightP said he
81 told him that got up in the morning
early, and that at the same time friends and
callers began to fill up my parlor and ether
rooms while l ate a breakfast of eggs and
looked over the morning paper.
"'Well, what do you do with all TIE people
that Gomez
go take them up, one by one, snd bounce
them said l.
"'What is thatp said he.
az see each one and fire him out said 1.
''He looked very puzzled, and found that
chat Americanisn was EVIDENTLY too much
for him, and explained whso l meant. Then
told him Twalked over 20 the office, dis
lance of two or three blocks, carrying with
me the friends had not done with, and there
found a room full of people connected with
the railroad waiting to see me. spent the
day then seeing them and officials and en-
ployes of the railroad. / told him that |
reached home an bour or so before dinner,
had a little ronlp with my boy, and then
made of my dinner what / always called
daily circus.
at required some explanation to make Sir
Henry Thompson understand what daily
circus meant but l told him that my wife
and /, and any others who happened to be
with us, did our best to be just as funny and
Jolly Is we could during that meal, and that
in the evening | went to my library and
read, or walked out to the club, or went out
to dinner. The doctor put this all down in
his laboraous handwriting, and when he came
to the last word that had said he laid down
his pen and exclaimed: Good God, Mr.
Depew, you ought to have been dead long
egop"
When Mr.. Depew gets TO this point, his
eyes sparkle SO, and he gesticulates with such
heartpess, that his hearers easily perceive
that in that one remark he got his 81 worth.
"'Why, what do you mean, Sir HenryF
asked
"'Why,' said the great doctor, in all this
long story of your life You make no mention
of exercise. You are squandering the patri-
mony of those rugged ancestors who gave
you strong constitution. You must not go
any longer without exercise 1t doesn't mat
ter what kind it is so much, whether you ride
on horseback, walk, or go through some form
of manual exercise, but something of the
sort you must do Let me picture you to
yourself as you will be if you do exercise,
and as you will be if you don't. If you don't
exercise, at 60 or 65 years you will have to
retire from business, broken down, irrita-
ble cranky old man, whom nobody loves,
whose death many may not grieve over.
But if you do exercise you can continue to
work long past that age, but if you have
made a competency you can retire rugged,
hearty, amiable old gentleman, destined for
long life, a godsend to your friends, a
pleasure to yourself, an honored and shining
example to the community
IL thanked him." said Mr.. Depew, land
shortly afterward took my leave, well pleased
with my experiment.
"And do you take exerciseF' the writer to
whom he today told the story, asked him.
well" said Mr.. Depew, 81 continue to
romp with my boy, and 1 go UP and down
stairs great many times day. That doesn't
sound like much, but tell you that TO enter
heartily into the spirit of little boys games,
even TO getting down on your hands and
knees and making believe you are q pony or
q dog is great deal of exercise. Anyway
it is about all get"-BoSton Herald
Russian Officers Studying English.
A considerable number of officers of tbs
Odessa garrison, chiefly first heutenants and
captains Of companies, are suddenly evincing
a remarkable sohcitude TO acquire q prac-
teal knowledge of English. Several military
acquaintance of mine whom / have oues-
toned on the subject would not admit tbs
fact, which have now learned by accident,
that the war ministry has recently offered
an incentive to given number of these Off
b, ~ NJ l.