Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-03-31
Written for the The EVENING STAR
A YOUNG COUPLE IN SOCIETY.
How Young Married People i'm Large
Cities Make Acquaintance and Enter
Society.
LETTERS OF INTRODUCTION AND THE DISREGARD OF
REMUNERATION DAYS, AND FOUR O'CLOCK TEAS
MANNERS OF YOUNG COUPLE IN PUBLIC PLACES
FLRTATIONs OF MARRIED WOMEN.
lCOpyrighted 1883. I

lCOpyr1ghted 1881
II Is hard to imagine young couple who have
10 begin life without acquaintance but the fact
exists. For those who have wealth, family and
position, who marry and remain in their own city
all social questions are answered for them but we
must remember that New York especially and in
a lesser degree in Boston, Philadelphia st. Louis
and Chicago, society is made up largely Of young
couples who come to these great centers without
Introduction or acquaintance therefore society
IS as trackless forest to them at first How shall
they begin? Who is to md them out? Who shall
drive the entering wedge into this dense block,
which we call society? The answer is generally
that somebody will turn up who viii
introduce them TO somebody; nice young
people s,t ,so.s 90 O., not remain long unknown; but
wife, who signs for the brilliant belledom which
she has left behind her. IL one can 60 through
temper, and without making any mistakes. she is
very happy fortunate woman. She must II she
has any letters OF Introduction lose time In leav
ing them, with her card, and then she must wait
until they are answered.
IN ENGLAND
great attention IS paid letters OF introduction
the bearer is asked TO dinner and receives other
attentions. For this reason many people who
know England well hesitate TO give letters as 1t is
an almost certain demand on ones host for a
dinner. But in this country people are singularly
inattentive TO letters OF Introduction which Is a
great rudeness. However when the letter has
dressed does not choose TO notice the person whom
IL introduces she has no redress. The right of
giving letters has been much abused, particularly
In New York. Adventures OF all nations have
brought most excellent letters, and have abused
the hospitality Of the best houses. How they got
them is mystery, and 1t Is 10 be feared that per
tnacious people got letters from those who desire
thus 10 get nd OF their applicant IL is this in
h hersI wrong, in introducing people who
has made the letter OF Introduction less respected
mere: Then II young couple bring letters TO
ciergymen. or 10 a weli-known woman OF society,"
both may be too crowded with other duties ana
aequafntances TO ind much time to pay attention
10 the new conner But If a lady receives letter
from friend whom she values, she owes 1t to that
friend toPay every attention to the lady who is
YOUNG WIFE IN SOCIETY.
young wife first entering new society should
md out what are the calling hours In different
cities. They vary as does the dinner hour It ia
q pity we have not national dinner hour. What
Thackeray calls the "great cosmopolitan stomach,
has to nj itself to different hours In differenr
q From 2 70 is, however, period when it
Is safe to make call all over the civilized globe
Among Intimate friends early morning informal
calls are proper, but a stranger can never pre-
busy and all but the privileged few In great cities
deny themselves TO company every day In the
week put one The French fashion OF leaving
cards without inquiring for the lady is proper hui
IL Is not popular In America To ladies whose yis
lung circle Is small, such proceeding seems heart
time Is occupied, 1t is imperative. The card is a
visit The card Is oneself; it should be so re-
garded, and scrupulously respected and honored
IL is tue tool OF civilization and 10 IS the mari y;
the higher development. No chmpanzee ever left
a card '
FOUR O'CLOCK TEAS
Now, young married woman moving into q
strange city has the benevolent institution opened
10 her OF -four O'Clock tea" She can send her
card and give "tea7 without much EXPENSE or
forInality, and without being thought pushing or
pretentlous- IL people choose TO stay away. that
hGr
visit, and sne may 20 and see them as She pleases
~ generally opens the way to a pleasant acouaint
ance: II people DO come she should be cordial
Ana the lady who receives should rise and extend
her hand. IL is the American custom: by far the
best custom She should be so agreeable that an
her new friends feel that she should be cultivated
Make them all wish to come again. Young hosfess
IL Is not customary TO introduce the residents ~
the same city. Strangers should be introduced.
but ladies who sit near each other should speak 10
each other, II they wish 10 make it aQreeable 10
both hostess and guest. The custom OF reception
days and these four O'Clock teas meant TO ave
labor and 10 make all the interests OF society har
monte. In the frequent event OF an EXCHANGE
OF calls between two ladies who have not met,
the newcomer should introduce herself
and SPEAK first, because she may know the iady 70
whom she has brought the letter but the lady NAV
not know her. Both ladies' and gentlemen I'm NAL
ing the frsr calls OF the season. should leave me
card each at all the houses where they call even
II they nnd the lady at home. This is to help the
lady, who makes these cards her memoranda for
returning her visits. When the young Couple re-
eeIye an invitation the card OF the head Of the
couple are invited TO dinner, they must respond
Immediately. and after the dinner leave their cards
IN person. Formerly IL was the custom for a Wife
10 take her husbands arm In entering a room.
now that Is considered old fashioned. The lady en-
ters nrst, the gentleman following with his crush
hat In his hand.
REMEMBERING NAMES AND PAGES
good memory for names and faces is a price.
less possession In society, but all have it not so
young woman first entering society should cult
vate IT, but II she fails she must politely confess
ner Ialng, and ask person his name 80 resps,ct
Iuy as not 10 hurt his selfoye nor 10 let the self
iDssPees oi her new acquaintance suffer a wound
ohiJ the snooDish, the pretentiouS, the fQnora nt
anu the thln-skinned take OfYenSe-the pOOr the
sensioie the modest are seldom offended bur n ts
70 oe feared these last are In a small MINORITY
"a, naS sciety Ionents quarrels rather than clears
sn i' away, 50 young woman must be armed at
al poiheS servants OFTEN do their EMPLOYEES rreaf
ilJusliee. Iney give wrong messages they are
uEcNu NJ the door, they miScarry notes thev denv
ooS PERSON ana admit another They are yerv a ~
70 lie Ine young mistress OF the honse csnnrrs
aiMays with the best intentions prevent thess az
SuentS from occurring. She must hovever a
heI possiole,' as the French saw a servent ~
ape " take MS tone from his EMPLOYER ana fr ne
iespectiui II the employer Is Cordial ana insoens
III his employer Is snoh 'e"s
GOOD BREEDING
GOOD breeding Is the guardian anoe, NJ q vor,.r
II puts nature under restraint IL controls the tam
per, ana reforms the speech IL makes the Main.
est woman attractive, and TIA siiene co,,,r,,...