Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1888-01-19
MR. AND MAS. eowseR.

different from other men in the matter
of supposing he knows it all And.
further. suppose he is like all the rest
of them in refusing to surrender his
opinions when beaten. This is trait
in men can not understand. but sup
pose nature gave it to them when she
created them lords of creation.
lam prepared to acknowledge that
rebel against Mr.. Bowser's assurance
and assumption. and this fact has led
to the family differences which have
appeared in print. The other day L
said to him IS he came to supper:
"Youforgot your umbrella this noon.
Glad you got home before it rained."
"Rain-humphr' he muttered What
do yOu know about the weathcr?''
Cant tell when the sky looks like.
ramp
mo. nor no other woman"
'.Mr. Bowser, it Will rain before
morning."
There isn't the least sign of it. and
if there was yOu couldn't see it!'
1t began raining before we went to-
bed. and called his attention to the
fact, but he went to the door and re-
marked:
Nothing but n mist arising from
the grOund-just as l predicted this,
morning. 1t won't rain for a week"
but it is raining. 1t is u regular
downpour."
mot one drop. Mrs. Bowser! The.
stars would shine but for this mist"
As luck would have it his beaver
overcoat had been put on the line to.
air. and the girl brought it in thor
oughly soaked.
IF this isn't rain. what do YOU call
it?" asked. as showed him the gar
ment.
Il call it piece of cold-blooded
malignity"' he Kissed in reply. I'm
order to carry your point you sent the
girl out to pour dozen pals Of water
over my coat and ruin it! Mrs. BOwser,
don't drive me too far!'
One evening something was said
about our counting days. and re-
marked to Mr.. Bowser that he used to-
call me his angel and promise to hold
me on his knee every evening of our
married life.
my angel! Hold you on my kneer
Mrs. Bowser, are you getting soft
headed?'
But you did,"
Never
IL can prove it by your love let
ters."
If you can. I'll buy you thou
sand dollars worth of diamonds
In two minutes had one of his old
letters before his eyes. In it he not
only called me his angel. but put an
extra ''r' Cd the name.
Haven't proved it?" l asked.
Never! That isn't my hand-writ-
ing ut all!'
Mr.. Bowser, do you deny writing
me this letter. in which you call me II
dozen fond names and in which you
urge me to marry you three months.
ahead of the day first set?'
Certainly deny it! If you have
any such letter it is Il base forgery.
and the forger ought to be sent to
State Prison.
One evening, l heard Mr.. Bowser
SAYING to n gentleman friend tEat the
female sex were profoundly ignorant
of any thing but fashion. and the next
morning said to him:
Il see that Fairchiid is for reform"
.sWho-what? Who is Fairchild?" he
sternly demanded.
"Why, the Secretary of the Treas
ury, of course. He advises that the
revenues should be reduced by lower
ing the tariff
'.W-what?'
'.And that the crisis between Russia.
and Austria can not long be delayed"
'.Mrs. Bowser!'' he said. rs he laid
down his knife and fork. '.did l marry
a woman or Woodruff. Don't let me.
hear any more such talk from you as
long as we live togcther!'
We lost our cook again last week
through Mr.. Bowser's obsiinacy. I
told him TO send up a can of pump
kins for pies. and he brought up can
of peaches. When he sat down to the
table with his mouth all made up for
pumpkin pie, cook explained how he.
had changed the order.
1T can't be possible" he replied.
''But you sent peaches. SIR"
'.Don't you suppose ! know pump
kins from peaches? tell you got
pumpkin
Here's the can. sir, and il these are.
not peaches l ought to be sent to an
diot asylumr'
''Peaches-um! Do you call these
Deaches?"
Il do"
''Hum-Yes! Mrs Bowser. are these
peaches?"
''Of course they are"
"And / sent 'em up?'
Certainly. / just asked Smith