The Clifton clarion., 1888-05-16
feeler," said Professor Kilrain. "How does it strike you?"

ooAN A AOASSoSA AAAAA oAAAs "How does it strike you?"
 q am forcibly impressed with it," replied Professor Sullivan, as he made a Delsartean gesture. "It seems to be decided hit"
 "Then don't dodge the issuew rejoined the other, with a circular sweep of his right.
 1 "A truce to this trifling by play" exclaimed Professor Sulll- van, drawing lightly back and ad- justing his necktie. ''For 100 years all individuals who have faced the descendants of John L.. Sullivan have been overwhelmed in sinistris manibus, as it were. Take that and reciprocate or re- calcitrate if you canw
 With concussion that could have been heard ten feet or more away, accompanied by sound of breaking glass, Professor Sulli- vans muscular left impacted itself forcibly against his antagonists right eye. Professor Kilrain con- vulsively grasped his second. the Rev. Dr. Oliver Wendell Moulton, and both fell to the ground and rolled over, soiling their full-dress suits most shockingly.
 Professor Sullivan stood for a moment like statue. Then he examined his. left kid gleye. It was slightly rent, and from a cut on one of his knuckles he saw the blood beginning to flow. he turned frightfully pale, but with a tremendous effort he retained his self-control, and did not move from the spot until the venerable and distinguished master of cere- monies had awarded the palm of victory to the unconquerable des- cendant of the immortal John Lawrence Sullivan. The contest was over. The prize at stake-a Professorship of Occult Sciences, Philosphic Pugillism and Volapuk was conferred upon Professor Elliott Waldo Sullivan amid the exclamations of the vast and intel lectual throng, and in few min utes more the streets and avenues leading from the campus were crowded by Bostonians, slowly and thoughtfully taking their way homeward. The affair was, soci- ally, professionally, and aristo- cratically, a success. It is gratify- ing to be able to say that it was a financial success likewise, the campus restaurant having dis posed of not less than twenty seven barrels of beans during the afternoon and evening of the con- test.-Chicago Tribune.
 Few troubles are more annoy ing or more productive of serious difficulty, If not removed, than in sects in ears. Laying upon soft meadow grass, or sleeping upon a camp-bed of fragrant spruce, bugs of different denominations seem possessed with a desire to inspect our auricles. Their frantic efforts to escape cause such agony that people have gone temporarily crazy with it. This may be instantly stopped by pouring the ear full of sweet oil, which suffocates the in- sect, and he is easily removed later by a syringe and warm water. Avoid intru uding pins, etc, into the ears. Much harm is thus done to their delicate mechanism, and lit tie to the cause of all the trouble. If oil is not readily accessible, use water, which is almost as good. Earache in any form may be quickly removed by filling the or gan with chloroform vapor from an uncorked bottle, vapor only, not the liquid.
 "Doctor, can you tell me what will prevent my food from hurting mel"
 Nothing easier. Don't eat it."
 "Ha, ha! Very good joke"
 "Not at all. Three dollars, please. If you have any further trouble, come again, and we'll try