Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1888-02-11

-DHTHttN'
WENT TOO FAR.
.Here is curious thing in the paper. I
4 man IN Florida town persisted IN |
nlaving the piano half the night and
nan VIII, liva,l next door killed HIM.
"Wcn, well, That man went TOO
far" ,.
"The man tina. did the killing:
"No. the man that did the playing. -
Omalm World.
NOT EXACTLY AIR-TIGHT.
Time. midnight. "What S the matter
with You, Mr.. Dusenbury
Nothing, (hic) my dear. Been to
the (hic) opera. Such :avishing music,
Chic) such ravishing airs, (hlcJ such
''Oh, Duselbury, you fraud. lou
want me to think that you're alr-tlght,
when l can see that you are full OF
beer. Philadelphia Cal.
AN APT REPLY.
"Evervthing | hear goes in one ear
and out of the other" said IA dude to
Charley St. Clair yesterday.
"Wky shouldn't it, said Mr.. st. CLAIR,
.'for there's nothing to stop 1t.
A HINT TO HUSBANDS.
Yerger-What are You going to do
with that mouse in that trap
-Whatamer goin' to (hic) dol
Jesh as shoon as wife opens door, before
she can shay word, | turn moush loose
(bic): moush most schares life outover.
She loses speech for time being, anyway.
Shecl
Matter-of-f fact tner Ito fashionable
daughter who x going out)-Clara, L
think your hustle is altogether too large
to look well.
Fashionable Daughter know, man.
ma; but you have no idea how slippery
the sidewalks are.
| SOMETHING HARDER.
Minister-So you go to school, do you,
Bobby!
Robby-Yes, sir.
in,ster-Let me hear you spell kit
| ten.
Bobbv-I'm getting too big boy to
spell kitten. Try me on cat.
OVERWHELMED WITH GIFTS.
Smith, suppose, with your large
family, Christmas cost you q good round
sum-
Brownies; my wife and all the little
ones gave me something. -Binghamton
Republican.
| ONCE IN FOUR YEARS.
"No, Miss Smith, he said, and he
said it gently, but oh, so firmly, cit can
never be. While / am sensible of the
| high honor YOU do me, and will always
be brother to YOU"
Chestnut" murmured Miss Smith,
and George Sampson went out into the
night
TIT FOR TAT.
81 will he fair with you, darling, sait
George Himself, tenderly, "when W,
are married, you shall always have one
half of my income:
I "And !, dear George" said Amanda
Herself Twill not be insensible to sucl
unselfishness; You shall ever share one
half of my expenses. Dob BHrdette.
COLD AND DISTANT.
De Smith-Dont You think Mis-
Travis is very cold and distant!
Popiniay-She ought to be; sh, la
gone TO Toronto to spend the winter
, Burlington Free Press.
DECIDED REFUSAL.
Italio de Counte-So you will not II
my wife, ehl Do you forget Eat | al
E.. italian count?
Ioung American-Oh, no; l do NJ
forget you are an Italian count; baatt 4 d
know l was never brought up to make
( dozen shirts for 80 cents and do til
washing if0r large family .-Jud9e.
y FEMALE CONSISTENCY.
+ Mrs. Al consider it shame and
o disgrace that the overworked clerks {
Z New York are not allowed half hol
dav, particularly at this season of IL
e year.
n RS. B.-I see that Jones & Co. clos
ND at four on Saturday afternoons.
e 81 know they do. went to their stol
| 10 match some ribbon last Saturday, an
found the place closed. was never pl
/, out so in all my life. "-Terds SJtings.
LEATHER Is KING.
Tripper-In some parts of this cou
try you will often hear the expressio
o "Cotton is king"
II Bobster-Yes, I've heard it.
"a: Tripper-Then in other parts they So
}! "Tron is king"
l Bobster-Yes.
Tripper-Well, they are both wrong
Bolster Indeed! Then what
f.. kingl
= Tripper-Why, sir, you have only
a glance at O set of harness to see leatll
u reins.
:. HAPPY COOK.
When burglars are a-burgiing in the gloamir
q IN the cleaning,
- Or burgling at the home of midnight gri
W When through the streets garroters are a-roa
ing, are a-roaming,
And footpads Turk IN lanes and alleys dim
=, With peelcr near to give her his protects
h' bis protection,
" When all her culinary tolls are done,
l Except to give him slight reflection, slit
o reflection,
al The cooks lot is not an unhappy one.
:" Boston Courier
Marriages i'm Mexico.