, 1888-10-11
LESSON IN GEOGRAPHY.

to learn that q most profound scholar in
these branches of study has been recently
discovered in a little hamlet on the Hud-
son. The extent Inc profundity of this
prodigy's researches are of so startling
and novel a character that it has been
deemed advisable to give the partial re-
suits to the world through the medium of
the press. AS the subjects under con.
sideration are so far reaching in their
scope, it will be necessary to confine this
chapter to the Eastern hemisphere, with
special attention to Turkey in Europe, and
more especially to Constantinople in
Turkey.
1t will be necessary to state at the out
set hat this remarkable geographer and
natural historian as a freckled, hatless
and shoeless boy known as Michael Finn,
Jr., heir apparent to the Finn estate on
Cooney Island. This estate is so by 100
feet in size. The buildings are in the
Irish style of architecture and consist of
a plain, Imprinted, one-story structure,
vulgarly known as a shanty, and q pig
sty. There is a large and aggressive
mortgage upon the property, which
Michael Finn, ST., has been unable to lift,
because of rheumatism, hard winters and
and the prevalence of saloons in the
vicinity.
But the probable foreclosure of the
mortgage and the consequent loss of his
inheritance does not affect the Junior Finn
in the least. He has been taught by the
schoolmaster in the little red school
house under the hill to rely upon him
self. 1t must be confessed, however, that
little Mike is not a brilliant scholar in
rudimentary English. Still he can spell
Constantinople, which he did in the fol
lowing manner the other day when his
mother had company and after she had
encouraged him with "Now, Mickey, take
yer thumb out iv yer mouth an spell
that haythen name for yer %auntie, that's
a good by" B%ashfully hanging his head
little Mike began:
Con. there's yer Con. Stan, there's
yer stan; there's yer Constan. Til,
there's yer ii; there's yer CONSTANT. No,
there's yer no; there's yer Constantine.
Pull, there's yer pull; there's CONSTANT
nopulr'
Then his mother flushed with pride, and
his aunt alluded to his performance in the
following Mandatory manner:
LUX a hat now Fax, Mrs. Finn,
yer by has a great head. So he has.
Musha, but this eddecation is a quare
thing. An WHARF is this place we were
spellin', Mickey?'
This question staggered Mickey for a
minute. He scratched his head in a
thoughtful manner, called mentally on his
limited stock of geographical knowledge,
and replied at a hazard:
"In Asyl"
"Ah, ha, is that SOP replied his aunt.
"An' tell me, Mickey, is that anywhere
near Ireland?'
Nav" replied the boy, bridling with
a consciousness of the largeness of his
information. ISIS right forninst Africay,
WHARF tn black ~nagures1l ate ye. Only
in Con-stan-ti-no-pul tn nagure's yaller
an thare's more dogs thare than hairs on
me billy goats back"
COW, ow," exclaimed his aunt, raising
her hands in surprise. "An' fwhat does
they do wild tn doggs2"
Makes sassidge " 'em!"
ooh, tn basis. But, tell me, Mickey,
is it pork sassidge er bolo'ny sassidge?"
Again little Mike was nonplused. At
ter a little recollection, however, he re-
piled:
"Well, l dunno, surely, but I'm afther
thinkin' it must be bolo'ny sassidge, for
how could they make pork sassidge out
iv q dog2"
"Thrue fur ye, Mickey. I didn't think
o that. But what else is thare sides
doggsf"
"Well, thare's ~alleygaters in tn river
Nile, beyant the city, wild mouths on
them like tn kitchen dure. These ami
mails is as long as a fince, an they comes
up on tn shore an lays there wild
thare mouths open till the little chill
der crawls in. Thin the a~lleygaters swal.
leys the childre, clothes an all, widout
amy salt aither, so they do, an smacks
their lips fur more"
"Ah, tn little dears! God help them.
An Mickey, does thin animals ate many
o. tn childre2"
"Coorse they does" replied this student
of natural history. They ates all they
can get, an picks their teeth wild tn ind
iv their tails, which is sharp as nadles
jist fur that purpose"
"An' don't the childre squeal?"
"Shure they doesi but tn squ'alin
comes too late"
"An' whare's the p'licemin wild thare
clubs?"
"P1icemen!" scornfully replied Mickey.
"'Shure tn haythins don't hav' any use
fur SIGH min. Musha, they don't care a
ha'po'th fur childre 'ceptin' they're b'ys.
So it's on'y tn gurruls tn alleygaters
ates."
"Och, militia murther, tn haythin blag-
gardsl oh, tn nagur thaves. An so
I'm thinkin' tn mothers an fathers I'D be
sittin' ~forninst the dures watching thin
animals s~wsllyin' tn gurls, an they look
in on an winkin' at the a~lleygaters.
Dear, dearl Well, if l had wan iv thin
mere, 90 ye Know
fwhat I'd do wild him, Mickey Do We,
know fwhat I'd do wild me two hands,
avicf Well, I'll tell We fwhat I'd do,
begob; I'd hould his head bechune me
two knees, like a head O. cabbidge, dye
moind, an I'd bate in his skull wild me
fisht, so | would, a more power t me
arrum till I'd do It'll"
In her excitement Mickey's aunt rose to
her feet and started in search Of the
poker to give him a practical example of
what she could do with that deadly in
strument. Mrs. Finn. however, soothed
her RULED mind by handing her Mr..
Firms Guilty pipe, loaded to OVERLOOKING
with "Hod Carriers Delight" As she
pulled away she became calmer and al
luded to the untimely fate of the unfort-
innate babies in the following feeling
manne
"Ah, well, God is good. He knows