The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1888-03-15
BIlI Nye Being AdenGAGaed as che
NBaR mk.
Na.. vo.k VVo.Ia
New York World.

About this time was calling at the
First National Bank OF Chicago, tho
greatest bank, il l am not mistaken,
in America. saw the bonds securing
its issue Of national currency the other
day in Washington, and am quite
sure the custodian told me it was the
greatest Of any bank in the union.
Anyway, it was sufficient, SO felt
like doing my banking business there
whenever il became handy to do 30.
/ asked for certificate Of deposit
for $1,000, and had the money 10 pay
for it, but ! had to be identified.
"Whv," l said to the receiving tel.
Ter, "surely you don't require q man
TO be identified when he deposits
money, do your"
eyes, that's the idea"
"Isn't that a new twist on the Grip.
pied industries Of this countryH"
"No; it's our rule. Hurry up, please,
and keep men waiting who have mon.
ey and know how to do business"
"Well, don't want to obstruct bus.
iness, Of course, but suppose, for in.
stance, I get myself identified by q
man know and a man you know and
Il man who can leave his business and
come here for the delirious Joy Of
identifying me, and you admit that !
SHl the mau claim TO be, correspond.
ing as to description, age, color, sex,
ETC., with the man I advertise myself
to be. how would it be about your sbil.
ity to identify yourself az the man
you claim to be1 ! 20 all over Chi
cago, visiting all the large pork-pack.
ing establishments in search OF q
man know and who is intimate with
literary people like me, and finally,
we will say, / find one who knows me
and who knows you, and whom you
know, and who can leave his leaf lard
long enough to come here and iden-
tify me all rightf Can you identity
yourself in such = way that when !
put in my $1,000 you will not loan it
upon insufficient security, ss they did
in Cincinnati the other day, as soon
as go out of town?"
"Oh, we care especially whether you
trade here or not, 80 that you hurry
up and let other people have chance.
Where you make mistake is in try
ing to rehearse a piece here instead
" going out tn Lincoln Park or
somewhere in quiet part Of the city.
Our rules are that man who makes
II deposit here must be identified"
"All right. Do you know Queen
Victorial"
"No, sir, / do not"
"Well, then, there is no use in die.
turbing her. Do you know any Of
the other crowned headsP
mo, sir"
"Well, then, do you know President
Cleveland, or any OF the Cabinet, or
the Senate or members OF the House
Of Representatives,"
"No."
That's it, you see. move in one
set and you in another. What re.
spectacle people do you know?"
an have to ask you TO stand aside
guess, and give that string Of people
a chance. You have no right TO take
up my time in this way. The rule o.
the bank are inAexible. We mus
know who you are, even before we &C
cept your deposit"
| then drew from my pocket cop,
Of the Sunday World which contained
voluptuous picture Of myself. Re
moving my hat and making 3 cour
salsam by letting out four additions
joints in my 1.-THE and versatile limbs
I asked if any further indentiscatiol
would be necessary.
Hastily closing the doer to the vaul
and jerking the combination, he sal,
that would be satisfactory.