Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1888-03-19

THOSE NEW SUNDAY CLOTHES
Many great men have embalmed their
memories in the history Of their " lives,
The editor Of the Intelligence does not in
terd that he shall b. forgotten for the
want Of an autobiography. When the
leaves of autumn had begun to be tipped
with gold and red, and the robins were
preparing for their southwark flight, be
announced to 8 calm and peaceful world
that ne first opened his infant eyes ION a
bright Sunday morning, in the City OF
Churches" The world has moved on
peacefully since, the rains have fallen, the
sun has shone and the earth brought forth
its fruitage; but whether because toe cold
blasts of winter chilled his Autobiography
cal inspiration, or he was waiting for man
kind to recover from the shock Of his first
announcement, our youthful friend has
revealed 10 more Of his young sweet life.
The second great event in the life Of all
children is now announced; he is to get a
suit Of clothes. Saturdays Hte7igeaeer
goes into details. 1t is to be a new suit Of
Sunday clothes" The important fact
is gently broken, that the goods viii be of
''eheyiot Of quality equal to the best
imp lrtej, " and it will cost $500; and
lastly il is announced that he Jaw nothing
of the tariff duty on the cheviot, and don't
intend to look for it. This last is a crush
ing high protection argument. In de-
scribing these Sunday clothes the writer
neglscts to say whether the little rounds-
boat will be ornamented with brass but
tons, and whether the p~antslOOns will be
cut bias or gOred. It would also be Of in
tsress to know if 3 pair Of red top boots
don't 70 with the outfit. Bat these are
minor matters.
OF couse everything the editor of the
IpteHigeHesr does is a matter of national
Importance; and unless the fact that
he cOuld get a new Sunday suit Of
Cheviot, of a quality equal to the best i'm
ported" all for $500, can be explained
away, the Mills bill will 20 by the board,
and tariff reform lie set back at least a de-
cade.
Solely in the interests oftruth we would
arise to offer q few suggestions. First, the
Wheeling merchant tailor may have con-
sidered the editor Of the Iateligaseer q
proper object of benevolenee and thrown
off a few dollars on the Sunday suit Of
cheviot Of a quality equal to the best i'm
ported" or perhaps as the editor Of the
IRteljgeRcer could not see the tariff tax any
place on it the merchant muzzled the
tax and chained itup down in the cellar to
keep from SCATTERING the editors sensitive
nerve. These hypothesis, however, are
hardly probable. Let rs try it again.
As we have before remarked the suspic-
ion IS that the 'infant prodigy" is just
getting iuto hisfrst pair of pantaloOns.
OF course they would be abbreviated
at the knee; and any good tailor ought to
be able to furnish a roundabout and a pair
of kuee hreeehes for the price named.
If this idea is not satisfactory how
would it DO to suggest that the merchant
wanted TO reward the editor of the HtsHi-
gcResr for his valuable labOHs in the io,er-
est of a high protective tariff. We mag
inc that the reduction in the price of that
Sunday suit would be Liberal cOmpsn.
satiOn for the work.
These suggestions are briefly made and
if they DO not explain this curious fact
they may show the lines on which an ex-
plauation may be found.
The fact however that the editor OF the
HltsHigeRcsT is to have q new suit Of Sun
day clothes deserves to be previously re-
corded. OF course We know that it is a
great event ia his life, and although Con-
gresham WILSON has never done anything
to deserve public dislike, the aforesaid edi-
tor is perhaps justified in taking advantage
ofMr. WILSON'S interview to announce the
all,important fact to the public.
About the wisdom of getting that new
suit "of Sunday clothes of cheyoit of
quality equal to the best Imported we
have our doubts. We have fears-grage
fears that when eur dear little ''hirdis'
comes ont on the ''street with all his new
feathers on, sOne enraptured female may
shoot him to wear on her hat.
We weep in contemplation Of such a
calamity.