Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1888-12-27
The ARIZONA KICKER:
LIVELY Editorial Breeses from The Far and
Unpolluted West.

pend the agricultural department, es-
tablished five months ago. We insti-
tuted this feature as an experiment.
and to help out literary tenderfoot
from the East, who was bare-footed
and penniless, but who was fertile OF
suggestions. The experiment was q
failure. The aforesaid !. t-f. was
drunk most of the time. and when
sober he didn't know cactus from q
wild lemon. The most valuable sug-
gestion made by him was that the
farmers of Arizona drink less oats and
SOW more whisky. We have hidden
the tenderfoot permanent and last
ing adieu. and we now bid farewell to
agriculture as set thing. We shall
occasionally refer to the subject in q
reckless. off-hand way. taking chances
on results, but there will be no further
studied attempt to make the sandy
plains get up and hump themselves
into fields Of waving corn. and we
shan't cover the rocky hillsides here
about with vineyards or patches of de-
ceptive buckwheat Goodbye, ten
derfoot-good-bye. agriculture!
Go EASY.-We warn those meddle-
some citizens who are charging us
with political treachery to go easy. 1t
is true that the Kicker has been Demo-
cratic at times, and that we have oc-
casionally had a good word for the
Republican ticket, and that we have at
intervals seemed to be red-hot for pro-
hibition, but we were sort of feeling
around to see what kind of paper our
subscribers preferred We didn't pro-
pose to break ourselves in two in the
first six months by getting left. We
had a Democratic and Republican
rooster ready for the election returns,
and we didn't care a cent which way
the old kangaroo jumped. We shall
now be little more Republican than
Democratic, as we want the county
printing, but whenever we say any
thing distasteful to the Democracy we
will. as soon as the matter is called
to our attention, turn about and give
Harrison ''wipe" in the next issue.
We shall be independent in nothing
and neutral in lots of things, hoping
that the Democrats will get there next
time and advising the Republicans to
hang on if it takes rib. We are
heavy on the political principles of
our forefathers, but we have run our
circulation up to 1913 copies, and we
don't propose to hit any of our SUBJ
scribers between the eyes to tickle any
partisan.
-.OTICL TO Contributors can
not return rejected manuscripts. If
not accompanied by stamps we use
them to light the Office fire. 1t stamps
are sent we use them on our business
letters. If the author of "Seven
Buckets of Blood, or the Cork-Screw's
will send her address to this
Office she will hear of something to
her advantage. We have received a
sketch entitled: Bobtailed Bob. or
the Bobbers of Bobber's HILL" which
we will publish on receipt of the
authors check for fifty dollars. We
must respectfully decline the stories
entitled: "Her Father Booted Me" and
IAN Adventure With Indians in
France" They seem to have an i'm.
moral tone. Contributors should al
ways send in their right names, not for
but in order that none OF
our thousand checks shall 60 to the
wrong person.
STEADILY IMPROvING.-Si our
last issue Colonel Fairbanks has had
three rods of beautiful picket fence
erected In front of his adobe, and the
Gem saloon has received three barrels
Of whisky and a new pier-glass. We
chronicle these improvements in no
boastful spirit, but simply that out
siders may know that the spirit of
progress is not dead within us. We
are going right to the front as a town.
ACC1DENr.-We regret to learn that !
Major Jackson, one of the pioneer res
dents of our little city, kicked at his
log last Saturday and drove his big
zoe back into his heel by hitting the |
corner stone of the new Masonic Tenn
pie. The Major was our second sub
'criber, and he never meets us without
asking US to drink. We sympathize
With him in his dark hour of trial, and
rust that he may soon reappear
lmong US. Should his condition be-
'Ome critical we shall issue daily bulle-
ms from this Office.
Go HENcE.-A correspondent wishes
IS to explain the meaning of the term:
From Alpha to Omega" We shan't
70 it. We have had politics enough
or one season. and propose to let up
n the machine. We never heard Of
Alpha, anyhow, and as for old Omega,
nay he be durned!-Detron Free Press.