davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1886-1893, 1888-08-09
wei lekarskiej uleg} Bocian wewne
trznym uszkodzeniom, jake karbol
spowodowa}.

trznym uszkodzeniom, jake karbol
spowodowa4.
Kr6lewska H,ta. Nasi wieleb-
nj ksieza kapelani maja bye wszys.
cy president: KS. Blainia idzie
DO Chorzowa, ks. Kuboth do Koz-
la, ks. Bartelmus do Zabrza; w
ich miejsce maja wstapit: ks, Ty-
lila Z Zaborza jake pierwszy kape-
Ian, q ks. DIR. Olesna jake drugi
kapelan.
Rosdzien. Pred niejakims GA
SEN uczu} czeladnik siodlarski ia
roizs shiny Dol zeb6w, azeby sig
b6lu tego pozbyt, uda} sic do le-
wnego robotnika W Wilheminen-
hucie niby to obeznanego z wy
ciaganiem zeb6w. Robotnik ten
tax niezgrabnie wzia} sic do wyr-
wanna zebu, re biedakowi przytem
szczeke %skaleczy4, wskutek czego
niewymowny Dol cierpia} widzia}
sig zmuszony Dol cierpia} i wi
dzia} sic zmszony do szukania
pomocy w klasztorze Bracj Milo
slernych w Bogucicach, gdzie jed
max pomimo najtroskliwszej opie-
Xxi Jarosz pc kilku dniach zmar}.
Rosbark. Kapelan Pluszczy z
Bujakowa przesadzony zosta} do
Starego Bierunia; nowo-wyswieco-
ny ks. Saucepan Burek jake drugi
kapelan do Raciborza: kapelan ks.
dr., Jan Nikel z olesna "a kapela.
ma do krdlewskiej Huty; nowo-
wyswiecony ks. Diuba jake kape-
Ian do Bujakowa; ks Pawe1 Piesz-
Ike z Starych Sio}kowic "a kape]a-
ma do Rachowic; ks. kapelan Ku-
lik z Kozla powr6ci4 do Piekar.
GIauice. Pred tutejszym So
dem przysieg}ych sta wall W zesz-
lynn tygodniu Jan Cieslok, Tomasz
Rzepka Walenty Polko i Jan Ros-
mus, wszyscy re Svierczyhhca po-
what ~pszczyhski, posadzeni o spo-
niewieranie i pobicie 1890 Kwiet-
MIA br. syna w%ycuznika, Jana
Chroboka, wskutek czego sponie-
wieranv zmar}. Oskarzeni i ME
bozczyk byli wspomnionego dnia
ma tax zwanej stawce wojskowej
w Bieruniu, gdzie sie-jak to ME
stety czesto bywa-doskonale pod
chmielili. w drodze do domu
~wszcze}a sic pomiedzy niemi k}6t-
MIA, a n%areszcie bijateka, wsr6d
kt6rej Chropak odebra} kilka znacz-
nych ran. Przybywszy do karcz-
my w Swierczyncu, wszcze}a sic
ma rowo b6jka, W kt6rej Chrobok
talk pobity %zosta4, re go trzeba by
10 do domu zaniesc, gdzie "a Is
minut skona}. Lekarze niezdo}ali
uznaa, czy Chrobok wskutek pobi-
cla zmar}, ola tego oskarzeni costa
Ii tylko "a poranienie ukarani.
Rzepka: kt6ry najbardziej sic Cd
znaczy} swa brutalnosciq, zosta} ma
s miesiecy, Cieslok ma IA dni vie
zienia skazany, a Rosmus cd kary
uwolniony.
W 7arnowicach pojma}a i uwie-
zi}a policya w}dczege, imieniem
Jan Wienczek Z Ujazdu, ktGry u
dawajac ksiedza, udziela} ludziom
blogosiawienstwa; znaleziono przy
MIN mn6stwo krzyzykow, rolaIcy
obrazkow i t. d.
Mys1owicc. G6rnik August Pa
talong zatrudnionv w kopalni No
wei Przemzy zosta} tax skaleczony
re W krdtce umar1, pozostawiajac
zone i dziecko.-Na kopalni my
s}owskiej zas zatrudniony robotnik
Szlachta zosta} przez nieszczesliwy
wypadek nj Smierc zabity.
Lublinicc. W zesz}ym tygodniu
skrad} cha}upnik Konstanti Pillar
2 Pie}kowa klatke Z ogrodu jedne-
go 2 tutejszych oby watel!!, przy-
czem go jednak zdybano i odpro-
wadzono ma policya, gdzie male
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1886-1893, 1888-08-09
Ill.
III.
w. KS.

w. As. I.OZnanskie.
PAN 7omas5 Kitka drukarz w
Poznaniu, obchodzi} z%esz}ej ME
dzieli 50cio jubileusz piracy w
swoim zawodzie. Koledy i znajo-
mi wyprawili mu Poznaniu
swietna uczte, jak ssbie ma to
~poczciwa praca zas}uzy}. Pan Kit
ka znany i W Prusach zachod-
Mich. Cd L. 1S49 do 1856 by} on
zarzadca drukarni sp. Jozefa
G6}kow S kiegow Che}mnie,
W kt6rej pierwsze pisma polskie
wychodzi}y ola Prus, jak Szko4a
N arodow a, N a d W islanin,
K a k. On tez pracowa} glow
ME mad rozwojem tel p~ierwszej
drukarni polskiej W Prusach w
reku Polaka. Mech go Bog chowa
PREY zdrowiu i si4ach!
o osoblivym sposobie gcrmoanizo-
wanla otrzymuje ,,Kur. Pom" ma
stepujaca korespondencye Z Wagro-
w~ieckiego:
Ma Dabrowskich Hubak pod
Zan6wcem mieszka gospodarz naz-
wiskiem Krygier. Liczy on obec-
ME oko}o so lat zycia, 2 zona ka-
toliczka, dzieci, z kt6rych najstar-
SEE pe}noletnie bye MUSIC, a wszy-
stkie, jak i%naczej spodziewac sic
ME MONA, So katolikami i Pola-
kami. Krygier sam, kt6ry bodai
czy niemieckjm w1ada jezykiem,
gorliwym jest katolikiem, do kos
cio}a p%arafialnego uczeszcza i do
bractw W MIN istniejacych nalezy,
mdwia j%ednakowoz, re kiedys mia}
bye protestantem.
Owega Krygiera zapozywa
dis pred siebie komisarz obwo-
dowy p. Kleinfeld Z Kekna, dowo.
dzi mu, re on jest protestantem i
Niemcem, wzywa go, azeby wszyst-
kie dzieci swoje W protestanck1ei
wychowywai religli i grozi mu ka-
ra $50 marek, gdyby sic wzbrania4
rozkazowi temu zadosytuczynic.
DO tego poucza 90, re nazMisko
swoje fa}szywie pisze. Jake Me
mice pisat sic powinien ,,Krueger."
= Idac ma termin ME spodziewa}
sic biedak, co go W Koknie spotka.
10 tez upad}y Ia duchu i z bolem
w sercu wraca} do domu, dowie-
dziawszy sic pierwszy raz w zy-
ciu, re ami dzieciom jego, ami o.
MENU samemu ME wolno bye ka-
tolikiem i Polakiem.
(Nie chce nam sic prawie
wierzyt, dodaje Redakcya, izby
50-letniego obywatela mia}a VIA
w}adza zmuszat do wyznawania
religii, kt6rej zasad tenze znac ME
chce, a dalej do wychowywania
swych dzleci W tejze religii. Ocze-
kujemy wiec W tel sprawie biz
szych szczeg6}6w, resp. sprostowa-
MIA Red. ,,Kur. Pozn.D
Bunk aiemski 10 Po=naniu, kt6ry
mia} zebrac 3 miliony marek ma
ratowanie zieml w reku polskim,
zebra} ledwo million jeden j COS
blisko 2 sta tysiecy marek. Dnia
Is 4. IN. mia} bank ten walne ne
branie swoje W %Poznaniu, ma MEM
postanowiono p%oprzcstac ma tenn,
co sic zebraio popierat szczegol-
niej p%arcelacyq,
no wiclAiG bdjki pomiedzy mu-
larZami Polakami mularzami
Nlemcami przysio W poniedziaiek
lG =. IN. we wsi Sokolnikach pod
Kieckiem, zakupioncj przch komi-
syn kolonizacyjnq. Pieciu Nicmcdw
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1886-1893, 1888-08-09

zosta}o tax ciezko poranionych, re
muslano ich odniesc do lekarza
mlejscowego j 1atelegrafowano DO
wojsko do Cinema.
Wtych dnaach przesz}o Czerlei-
no, po}ozone w powiecie sredzkim,
a n%alezace do p. A~leksandra Wa
dynskiego, "a cene 10000 mi. "a
posrednictwem p. q. Taszarskiego,
ma w}asnost p. J6zefa G}ebockie-
go.
Zmari. Michalina Wojcie-
chowska umar}a dnia 10 Z. m. w
Wrocfawlu. Dnia II q. m. u
mari w Poznaniu kazimierz Zier-
kowicz, lat 81. w Zielencu pod
Grodziskiem umar}a, ruszona pa
Eallzem, S. p. Amelia 4 Liszkow-
sklch doktorowa Dembiiska.
W Lesznie umarf kupiec S. p. Ro.
man Putiatycki. - Dnia 16 ]ipca
umarf Poznaniu Konstantv
Szczypihski, lat SO.
Zr@snycA stron. - Kepnie O.
siedli} sic DR.. J6skowski, lekarz.
= 4 LipsAa donosza, re lekarz p.
Is ogdan w C h e l. k i wicz
uzyskaf TAME stopieh doktora me-
dycyny, ~naplsawszy naukowe roz-
prawe 0 chorobie 6cz, kt6ra uzy-
skafa najwyzsza pochwa}e. w
Pogorzeli osiad} lekarz dr.. Z a b ro-
C k / z Jarocina.
W Ostrorogu wzia} nauczyciel
P. Gornicki emeryture pc Al latach
piracy w zawodzie nauczycielskim.
Ably uczcit zas}uzonego kolege, "a
wiqza} sic komitet, kt6ry
re sk}adek naby} ola szanownego
emeryta piekny z}oty zegarek i
otiarowa} mu go upominku.
| SIP. JdzgP almousAt emerytowa-
ny rektor szko}y swietojahskiej W
Gnieznie, z%akohczy} nagle zycie
dnia IA bm., razony paralizem
ma SERGE. Az do roku 1852 bv}
nanczycielem PREY gimnazyum sw.
Maryi Magdaleny W Poznaniu, po-
tenn przenids} sic do Cinema, gdzie
przez d}ugi czas k~szta}cac m}odziez,
zyska} sobie %powszechny szacunek
i zyczliwost. Niechaj spoczvwa w
spokoju!
w Gniesnie odby}o sic uroczy-
ste poswiecenie w katedrze tablicv
pamiatkowej ola s. p. Jana i Je-
drzeja braci S a d eckic b.
u%mieszczonej w kaplicy t. y. dok.
torskiej. Tablice te sprawiono ko.
sztem cz}onkdw czwartego Zjazdu
lekarzy i przyrodnik6w w Pozna.
niu r. 1884. Ma poswiccenie
przybyf 2 Poznania p. DIR. Wieher.
kiewicz, jake ~dwczesny prezes tcgo
Zjazdu. Pred poswiecouinm cd.
prawi} msza za1obna x. DIR. Kan
tecki, a X. Janas re stawu dopc}
mi poswieucnia tablicT.
Pan S. StoJechi, w}a<ciciel ska
du piw pod ~ratuszem w Poznani,
kuplf cd p. Weissa kamicnic,
PREY Wielkich Garbarach mr.. "A
Naucsyeid pan SIN igielsk
2 Blezyna pod Krzywiniem otrzy
mai emeryture 4 dniem 1 lipca.
JcicA wiezieniaw Leszni
robotnik Antoni so}tysiak 2 Wi
lamowa, skazaNy "a podpalenle n;
7 lat wiezicnia w domu karnym
W Mursynoovic koScicznem W DO
wlecie sredzkim odby}o sic W ME
dziele dina s I'm. zebranie pszcze.
larry powiatu sredzkiego. Zebra}c
sic 40 c%z}onkow. Personal---very.
odczyta} rozprawe, W kt6rej miedzy
innemi poleca4 slew gorczycy, jake
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1886-1893, 1888-08-09
ILLINOIS,, IOWA
WISCONSIN,.
MICHIGAN,
MINNESOTA,
DAKOTA,
NEBRASKA ]
WYOMING.

Jest to najdoskonalej urzq0zoua
Kolej, tax Ma wygody podrdsuja.
cych 10 krothieh przestrzenioch. ia
ho tes Ola s'0iedsajqcych
GhOWNE Contra HANDLOWE
Zadna lima Kolej ME moze 2
mia wspoiubiegac sic q" do UREA.
dzenia wewl ~etrznego wozow, z
ktorych niektdre ~ urzadz one ma
jadalnie j do spania.
kolej North Western najwlecei
jest lubiana przoz podroiujacyci
W kupiectwic, turystow i tarmo-
row, poszukujacych nowych Sic
dzib ma pofnocnym zachojzie.
WHITMAN. Gen. Mangr,
II. {. WICKER. Traic Mangr. .
E.,P WILSON, Gen. Pass. Agent
Agen dln tykict6w - zhrnzem
rach 6w m miasto W,noua:
H. 81. I0ste,
Mr.. Center SIR
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1886-1893, 1888-08-09

W Warssawie pow. sta}a mySl
u@czczenia pamieci nestora naszego
pismlennictwa i nicspozy tych "a
slug pisarza, s. p. Jdzefa Ignacc-
90 Kraszewskiego, pomnikiem W
kosciele S. Krzyza, gdzie autor
,,Witoloraudy'' byl ochrzcony,
Rad i Arcybyskup dali swc nc
zwolenic, n ctiarnost obywatelska
artysty.rzeabiarza, p. Jana Kryh-
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1886-1893, 1888-08-09

zostafo tax ciezko poranionych, re
muslano ich odniesc do lekarza
mleJscowego j 1atelegrafowano po-
wojsko do Cinema.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1886-1893, 1888-08-09

Wtych dniach przesz}o Czerlej-
no, pofozone w powiecie sredzkim,
a nalezace do p. Aleksandra Wa
d~yhsklego, "a cene 10000 mr., "a
posrednictwem p. z. Taszarskiego,
ma wfasnost p. J6zefa G}ebockie-
go.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1886-1893, 1888-08-09

W Wars=awie zmar} lipca
W 50 roku zycia SIP. S tanis}a W
an k i, inzenier, znany jake
wspdFpracownik Lessepsa PREY bu-
dowle kana}u Suezkiego. Zmar}y
kszta}ci} sic w Hanowerze, a ma
stepnie konczy} szko}e centralna W
Paryzu.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1886-1893, 1888-08-09

" Nurzynoacic hoSciclncm W po-
wlecle sredzkim odby4o sic W ME
dziele dina s I'm. zebranie pszcze-
larry powiatu sredzkiego. Zebra}o
sic 40 cz}onk6w. Przewodniczacy
o%dczyta} %rozprawe, W ktdrej miedzy
innemi poleca4 slew gorczycy, jake
roSliny, dajqcej pszczo}om wiele
pozywienia. Drugi cz4onek prak-
tycznie wykazywa} uzycie miedar-
ski. Nastepne zebranie odbedzie
sic dnia IA pazdziernika 20 po-
}udniu o godzinie 8 u gospodarza
Stanis}awskiego w Gablinie. To-
warzystwo ~pszczelarzy istnieje cd
2S grudnia 1874 roku.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1886-1893, 1888-08-09

OSWec1n. W tuteJszym KoSclc-
lie odprawionem zostalo W dniu
27-go Czerwca Z k%atafalnym W
kosciele dorocznc nabozcilstwo ia
lobne fundacyi ks, proboszcza To-
masza * olasins k ego IN
poleglych W walcc W dniu 27-go
Czerwca 1866 wojskowych austry-
ackich. W asystencyi duchowieii-
silva parafalnego celcbrowai taste
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1886-1893, 1888-08-09

DO wiclhiG bdjki pomiedzy mu-
larzami Polakami i mularzami
Niemcami przysio W poniedziaiek
lG \. m. we wsi sokolnikach pod
kleckiem, zakupioncj przch komi-
syn kolonizacyjnq. Pieciu Nicmcdw
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1886-1893, 1888-08-09

W Ostrorogu wzia} n~auczyciel
p. Gornicki emeryture pc Al latach
piracy w zawodzie nauczycielskim.
Ably uczcit z%as}uzonego kolege, "a
wiaza} sic komitet, kt6ry
re sk}adek naby} ola szanownego
emeryta piekny z}oty zegarek i
oiarowaf mu go W upominku.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1886-1893, 1888-08-09

Zrdsnych stron. Kepnie O.
sledlif sic DR.. J6skowski, lekarz.
= u LipsAa donosza,, lie lekarz p.
B og d an w kiewic
uzyska} TAME stopieh doktora me-
dycyny, napisawszy naukowe roz-
prawe o chorobie ocz, kt6ra uzy-
ska{a najwyzsza pochwa}e. - w
Pogorzeli osiad} lekarz DIR. 4 b 70.
C k i z Jarocina.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1886-1893, 1888-08-09

Kr6lewska Huta. Nasi wieleb-
nj ksieza kapelani maja bye wszys.
cy przesadzeni: KS. Blainia idzie
DO Chorzowa, ks. Kuboth do Koz-
la, ks. Bartelmus do Zabrza; w
lch miejsce maja wstapic:: ks. Ty-
LA z Zaborza jake pierwszy kape-
Ian, a ks. dr.. Olesna jake drugi
kapelan.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1886-1893, 1888-08-09

JcicH zwiezienia Lesznie
robotnik Antoni So}tysiak 2 Wi
lamowa, ~skazaNy "a podpalenle ma
7 lat wiezicnia w domu karnym.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1886-1893, 1888-08-09

.(Dokohczenie ma stronie ~.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-04-28

Philanthropist GD the Office of an old
friend, building contractOr)-John, if had
to live on blood money as you do I'd retire
and start a peanut stand.
Successful Builder-Blood money! What
do you meant
"Look at those house plans you're studying
over now, miserable novels, twenty in a row,
packed so close together that not even a fly
could get between them, horrible little dens
with rooms not big enough to stretch out in,
no chance for air, cleanliness or anything
else. Is it any wonder people crowded to-
gether that way get stepped in vice and
degradation, any wonder the unfortunate
poor"
Poor! Great Caesar, man, the plans are
for rich mems cottages at summer resorts.n
'Ohr-Omaha World
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-04-28
Saved.

The other day man was walking slowly
up Miami avenue and encountered a man
walking burriedly down. They ran into each
other, both drew OFF and apologized, and the
one in hurry added:
1--WE been so mad all the morning
couldn't see straight"
Nothing serious, hope"
"Well, my wife had some photos taken and
the artist made botch job. I'm now on my
way to punch his head.n
Can | see themH
They were exhibited, and after a careful
inspection the gentleman said:
my friend you are way off. The work is
well done, and you ought to be proud of your
wifes looks
''Do you mean itf
Certainly There are not ten as hand
some women in Detroit"
''Shoo!n
ats fact, and the work is that of
real artist. You should be more than salts
fiel.n
well, l declarel l guess I've been too
hasty, and I'll drop the matter right here.
Glad l didn't punch the photographers
head
''Yes, so am IN said the other to himself as
he went his way.
1t was the artist himself Detroit Free
Press
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-04-28

From the last issue of the Arizona Kicker
we Gull the following:
1--WE notice that some humpbacked coward
has tackled up written packard on the post
Office door asking why We have not been run
out of town. II the man who wrote it will
reveal his identity, and IL we can't put him
two feet under the ground inside Of Ave
minutes, we will agree TO cancel the insur-
ance on our office, set the shanty on fire and
leave town on foot
ut has been remarked that whenever a
stranger who looks like a detective appears
in town about four-fifths Of our leading
citizens hunt their holes like foxes. This
matter has been carried so far as to seriously
interrupt business. We wish stranger would
keep away."-Detroit Free Press.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-04-28

A friend of mine was recently rusticating
in neighboring town with his little four
year-old boy. The child spent nearly all of
his time with the town telegraph operator,
the attraction there to the child being a
large Newfoundland dog. The operator left
the boy in charge Of the office one day, while
he attended to some urgent business, and TO
amuse the little fellow placed in his hands
large brass instrument, the property of the
town band. During the operators absence
the boy made such rumpus with the musi-
cal instrument that the bsndmaster rushed
in, and in towering tones demanded Of the
little innocent:
"Who gave you thatp
The bright boy, not knowing the operators
name, replied:
"The dogs papa gave it to me- San Fran
cisco Post
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-04-28
THEIR WITS ABOUT THEM.
Some Famous Repartees which Are Old,
But Good,

Some Famous Repartees which Are Old.
But Good.
A few days ago The Constitution addressed
the following INQUIRY 10 a nuuhar Of nron,.
inent gentlemen throughout the state.
"what is the best piece of wit Won remem.
Der TO have heard or read Of in legal or nolit-
ical circlesf'
The Hon. John T. Glenn writes.
as there ANYTHING better than what Ran.
dolph said when he met a yery disaereeable
enemy on the sidewalk The fellow bluster-
ing up and ,ecupying most of the wav said
al nevei give way for rascal,
"I always do said Randolph, politely
stopping as der
The Hon A. o. Bacon writes;
"An excellent piece Of repartee is accorded
to Mr.. Harris of Atlanta-whose initials 7
do not now recall. but who is named by the
irreverent as Fatty Harris He was on the
witness stand in Fulton superior court and
was being examined by the then attorney
general of Georgia. The witness did not re-
Div to a question as directly as the att6r6ev-
general wished. The latter repeated his
question, and added with emphasis: Now.
Mr.. Harris, YOU certainly understand that
question, for YOU are q very intelligent man y
THANK YOU, Mr.. Attorney General. N replied
Mr.. Harris with bow, 81 would return the
compliment with great pleasure If were not
ct present under OATH
Judge Nisbet writes:
at is not necessary to go outside of Georgia
for a good piece of repartees Judge Under
wood, the elder, was a greater wit than
Sheridan, but unfortunately had no Boswell
70 write his biography or a Constitution re-
porter TO publish what he said. He was en-
gagged in q case once and the Judge. after
charging very decidedly against him. locked
the iury up for the night and adjourned
court After tea the Judge and Underwood
were walking on the piazza of the hotel near
the court house. and heard orits a movement
of chairs and of feet In the iury room. when
the Judge remarked: Il believe the iury have
gone to PRAYERS when Underwood said: Il
expect So Failing to get anv light from
your houor,s charge. they are seeking IL from
aboye,n
Gen. Henry r jackson writes:
'The best piece of repartee remember 10
have ever read or heard. fell from the lips of
John Van Buren,. at one time generally
known as Prince John. under the following
circumstances: de had undertaken the rep
resentation of a certain cause before the
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-04-28

The stranger who wore a luxuriant nose
and weed on his hat had waited patiently
for the other visitors to retire and then re-
spectfully approached the Mccormick block
lawyer. Pardon me, sir, but l have some
thing that may interest you,r said the stran-
ger in deferential tones II am canvassing
for Beaoon's Text book on Legal Terms and
encyclopedia of jury catching phrases in one
volume complete, contains 735 pages and is
sold by subscr"-
"No, siri Don't want it; got 1t already,
get out" The stranger sighed and meekly
obeyed. An hour later the attorney desiring
to consult Mr.. Beacon's valuable work dis
covered that it had disappeared. 1t dawned
on him in less than one minute that the
stranger had attempted to sell him one of his
own books The game is being generally
worked around town, and the police are
looking for the ingenious sstranger.-Chicago
Hsrald
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-04-28

One of the steady jokers of the United
States senate is the rotund little senator from
Missouri, George G. Vest When he was in
Washington the other day he got into con-
versation with Senator Don Cameron about
newspaper changes in New York. 81
should think this new man, Elliot F. Shep-
ard, would make a success" said Vest.
''How sor asked Cameron.
Publishing a verse from the Bible every
day"
II don't quite see that" rejoined Cameron
well, | reason that newspaper will sell
well II it publishes the news Now you can't
deny that the Bible is the biggest kind of
news 70 New Workers, ehf'-New York Tri-
bunc
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-04-28

Landlady pouring glass Of water1-For
some reason the water is not very clear to-
day, Mr.. Grumley.
Old Grumley-Yes; I noticed that the
milk was muddy.-Detroit Free Press.
No Reverence for Rank.
At Eton, of tuft hunting in the modern
sense of the word, there vas4-none. The
roblemen had special places in chapel, but
this made no difference. We were all boys
together. in a genuine and honest English
way. When we came back at the beginning
of one half, there appeared at my DANES
q smart boy dressed in a light blue jacket,
faced with velvet, white trousers and waist
coat, with a turn down collar and frills.
spotted him, and at once put the questions:
"What's your namer and "Who's your
fatherf He replied, Il am Charles Stuart
Vane, Viscount Seaham, and my father is
the Marquis of Londonderry" Upon re-
ceipt Of this information, / kicked him three
times-once for Vane, once for Seaham, and
once for Londonderry.-lsev. Mr.. Rodgers
in ST. James Gazette.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-04-28

"Waitin', sahn
"For whatF'
"Resultsn
What resultsf'
'Man sent me up to whitewash de kitchen
an save fo' bits
"WellYn
'%She's mixed the liquid, sab, and hunted
mp an ole brush wild about fo'teen hairs in it.
Now she's gittin' ready. She's tied an apron
ober her head, stuck broom handle into de
brush, an is luggin' de pail into de house.
Now de hired gal is putin all de chairs out
doahsn
Anything elser asked the officer after a
long wait,
"Jist minute. sab; de results ar almost
heah"
Another minute went by, and then there
was wild yell from the house, followed
by q crash, and the man a. the knot hole
ohuckled:
> "Jist like figgered! De woman appears
Boat eyes ar full Of lime, an when she fell
off de char she almoasI busted cherry bone in
her body Now de hired gal has come out
Now de woman in de mex house runs in.
Now de victim sots down on a box an dey
err rubbin' her eyes wild a rag. Now de hired
gal runs into de house to ring up de police an
de fire engines an de doctors, an -"
'And whatf'
''I'll call agin arter dinner an devil vel
come me wild hostile arms an give me de fo
bits an frow in an ole suit of clothesp'-De-
troit Free Press.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-04-28
The First ON Record.

A remarkable case of longevity has been
discovered at Grafton, Pa, in the person of
John Fosdick, aged l02 years. Remarkable,
because John can't read fine print without
spectacles. Indeed, his eyesight is so poor
that he can't read any kind of print. He is
the first centenarian discovered who could
not read fine print without glasses Nor
ristown Herald
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-04-28
Would Back Him against Samson.

He had been discussing the Sullivan prize
fight with some other boys of his own age.
They had been reading sporting paper, and
had found out about Sayers and Heenan, and
celebrated prize fighters who were dead.
Papa" he said, docs everybody go to
heaven when he diesfn
''Well, not everybody; good people do"
''Was Samson a good mani"
"Yes, guess so"
do you think Tom Sayers and Heenan is
in heaveni"
II don't know. / shouldn't WONDER
''And if l die I'll go to heavenf'
81 hope so. Why do you ask these ques-
tionsF'
''Cos when go to heaven I'm goin' to back
Sullivan against Samson. San Francisco
Chronicle
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-04-28

Jones had married the prettiest woman in
town and Brown'had married the homeIiest
and thought she was beautiful One evening
they were talking about their respective bet
ter halves, and B. remarked:
81 say, Jones, think you and married
the two pret lest women in town"
Jones looked at him in surprise a moment,
but he saw he was serious
We'll" he replied, cautiously, and with
pride, Il guess You are about half right, old
fellow"
Brown didn't see the point until he told his
wife.-Washingto Critic