Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1888-08-16
THAT SMOKED SALMON.

fo- Boston I was somewhat stinted for time,
because if I didn't catch the l0:15 train /
couldn't get another train for Boston until
2:2s in tie afternoon. Il was low 10:03.
Just Is stood on the front stoop heard my
wife calling to me. What is It, AllieT says
]. 4 wish YOU would drop into Baxter's,'
saws she. and csk him 70 send up some
smoked salnaon for tea OF course l will
SAYS I. for Il there IS one Wand that pri0s
above another It is smoked salmon love to
eat smoked salmon for tea, and then do
business with the water pitcher for the rest
OF the night
Baxter kent a store IN a brown stone
building at the corner Of Emerson avenue
and Arlitv street It Was long, low build
inc. the store beng on the first tOor. while
IN the second story was i sort Of public hall
for rent to peripatetic negro minstrel troupes,
Jubilee singers and transcendental debating
societies Bakers store was what Is called
general store-so called, presumably, because
il Is generally out OF what you want Baxter
professed 10 keep everything needful, from
bolt cotton down to patent clothes pins, and
from wiutergreen lozenges up 70 real ostrich
feather fans Baxter himself was typical
yankee-talI, hulking. lantern jawed and
ga-ruIous. he was 50 thrifty that lie had his
Clothes made 81 home, and his wife always
cut his hair He was 50 thrifty that if he
had been wrecked on a desert island, he
would have SWAN ashore in two weeks with
bis pockets full of SO gold pieces. Whom
fellow got through dealing with Baxter he
felt pretty much as if he'd been run through
a sieve.
well. when walked into the store that
morning. I was, as l have said, in consider
able Of hurry. l had made up my mind TO
order the smoked salmon and get TO my train
Just as fast as I could There was nobody in
the front part OF the store, so l walked back
q ygavA Mr.. Baxter was mailing Goldfish to
board
"'Oh, good moTnin', Mister Russell says
he We've got anuther w them fine morn
in's this mOrnin, Does beat all what fine
weather we've been Eavin' this summer.
WIZ tellin' my wife yesterday that I hadn't
known such weather in thirty years--ros
sense the Lyman boys wuz drownded IN the
East river Always knew they'd come to
BONE bad end. but they'd never have drownded
il they'd stuck TO the re5lar swimrnin' hole.
Some folks Is never wilIn' TO let well enough
alone, but has to DO ayin' in the face Nv
Providence, which Is not only foolish. but
wicked
Eyes. that is true, NJ Baxter says 1;
bot have you any smoked salmon todayF
"'Smoked sahmonr he repeated thought
fully. Smoked sahIuonl Why, yes, calc'!ate
we can accommodate ye. Let me see-where
did put that smoked salmon! Ought TO be
on the shelf next TO the calico prints, but
don't seem TO be there. Always make it a
rule 70 nave a place for everything, ana 10
keen everything in its place; then l know
lust where to put my hands on it ii a ruinnlt.
] tell you, Mister Russell, there's nuthin' Ike
order-I don't care whether Z maus runniIi'
a store or q race track-nutlin' ike order.
Mother taught ne that lesson when l Tvuz a
boy I'D II New Henpshire l guess she WIZ,
perhaps, the sDlartest woman that ever lived;
somehow or other wirnu3in nowadays haven't
got the faculty she had-you don't get no
such dCql-huuts and pies nowadays that you
used 10 get when my mother WIZ Twin.
WAL. now. its funny cant lay my hands
on that smoked sah-cOnl Likely as not that
boy Reuben hez hid it away somewhere.
Never did see such L shiftless boy in all my
born DAYS; don't do no good TO talk to him
be keeps right Oh with his jim Crow bust
ness Just the same. Miss Perkins-oue Of the
Perkins sisters-tives down next to the Hobart
place-wuz n here tother day an ordered
an ounce Wv cloves TO take 70 choir rneetin';
darned if that fool boy didn't do up paper
Nv tacks Fl her That eveIin' bout o'clock
Lem Higgins, the bass singer, come runnin'
down the road Fl Doc Smith "Sakes alive,
Lem SEE the Doc, what ais your There
amt notLin' the matter with me- sez Lem
but Mss Perkins Is havin' fits up to the
nee5in' house. Jest wait rninnit, till sit
my medicine chest says the Doc We don't
want no medicine says Lem IF we're goin'
to save her life, al We need IS Professional
skill an a tack hammer
Now. this was all very amusing, but It
had nothing 70 do with smoked salmon. nor
did it facilitate my catching the 10:l5 train
for Bostoa
mr. Baxter says I. I'm sorry you
haven't any smoked salmon'-
Hold on . ninnit,' says ne, interrupting
me; m find out where Reuben put it And
then he called. -Reubenr 'Reubenr several
times in 4 shrill. raspinS voice, and wound
up with Col dura your picter, Why don't
You answer when 1 call yer
''YeS. SIR says Reuben 81 last, from far
corner in the back end OF the store
Where did you put that ere smoked
sahnonP
"'7rho smoked sahmonT
"'Yes, sir, the smoked sahnone
"'W ", there amt none
"'Ye don't mean To SAY that we've run ont
of smoked salmon! Does beat eli that
never kin learn that boy puthin'. Told hin
time an again, when he saw we wV1z runnin'
out Nv anything, he must le. me know, sozeI
c'u'd order some more from Bosr'a- Wal.
meow, darned If amt sorry, Mr. Russell,
fr l know Jest how disappointed folks is
when they make up their minds fr smoked
salmon an can't set any. It's Jest Ike
tearin' the heart out CT losin' favorite cat
or havln' some other great, crpshia' scr
rer Why, recolect THAI ~ one tine cd
Squire Eoibrook cone IN che store
md sez he "E5ran"-he WIZ che Of
tie selectnen, an Re always called me HI
SCI Re, ''hev you got aav
dried besfF7 Squire Eoln-ook. seq /. I'VE
hev run cut Of dried be-, but kin let you
bsy some 6.lasS sowelIn' 81 surprisiu' low
e--sr., mo, Hiram SCI be, kinder sadlr.
go tovalin' today. / had sot NY heart so-t
nv -. N, dried beef He moved OF Ike he
W. n q dream, an next morniu' be w1,z
found dead in bis bad Dec Smith said I.
WIZ heart disease, but I hev always srspi
ciored that his heart WON'T 50 much dis
sased IS Il WIZ broke
Then Baxter entered upon Giruss bio
graphical sketch ot Squire Hoibrook, and
when be had got along down 70 shout the
ttty second year Ct the squu7es mundane cs-
roer, be was minded Of the squire's half
brother, Israel Warner I then learned that
Baxter was Intimately acquainted with the
minute details o< Is-ael's life. from the time
d, ran a%ay 10 sea I'D To the naturally sUbss-