Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1888-03-21
MODEST KING VIOLIN.
How He Was Elected by a Congress OF
Musical Instruments.

How He Was Elected by Congress OF
Musical Instruments.
Once upon time, says a writer in the
New York Sun, when il was the fashion
to DO ruled by Kings, the musical instru-
ments agreed that, to be quite in harmony
with the spirit of the age, they, too, must
have n King. The Bugle was thereupon
directed to issue a call, and at the APP
pointed hour all the instruments came in
on time. II might have been expected,
from the nature Of the assemblage, that
the proceedings would be very harmoni-
Gus, but, in fact, they were nothing of the
kind. Order had hardly been called be-
fore the Drum proposed that he be made
King, because, he said, having two heads,
he could govern with twice as much wis
dom.
''Every body knows" he argued, cum
ningly, "that two heads are better than
one"
'Not when there is nothing in either
but noise" said the Accordion. who was
an aspirant for royal honors himself. 81
think that what was Just offered Is a
snare proposition. We don't want a
rattle-pated King whom every body can
boat"
The Drum retorted by SAYING tn at an
Accordion was generally regarded as not
being a musical instrument at all, and
should not be allowed voice in the pro-
ceodings. At this the Accordion was
much offended, and shut up.
81 think my relative would make a
good ruler because he is bound TO make
himself heard"
The Bass Drum said this with view
20 securing good place at court himself
II the candidate he supported should
win.
at seems TO me-" said the Piccolo in
shrill tones, shat IL the saying, uneasy
lies the head that wears a CROWN is true,
our noisy friends appointment would in
flict upon him two headaches instead of
one. That would be a pity" and the pert
little thing wound up his satiracle speech
with such n raspy shrek that the Big
Drum remarked in contempt: That's a
pretty note" but he didn't explain wheth.
or he meant the shrek or the imperti-
hence OF the tiny satiris..
Taking advantage OF a rest in the quar-.
rel the Trombone offered himself as a can.
didate.
''Well, you have got brass" said a big
Bass Fiddle.
"Has that joke any pointy" asked the
Trombone.
"Yes-counter-point"
you ugly, utterly base creature"
You mean, thorough bass creature,
don't you'll" asked the big Fiddle, and
then laughed himself quite out of tune at
his own wit
The Flute now offered ke v to the diff.
hculty by proposing the Tuning Fork as
candidate, because he was always at
the same pitch and must govern infexi-
bility. The Tuning Fork, however, ex-
cuQpd himealf o, the o,,,,,I - an kootal
The chromatics troubled him very much,
he said. He never could get over them.
He was therefore excused, with the ad.
vice to take dia tonic for his health.
The Triangle next asked WHY he
couldn't receive tho coveted appointment.
He was never out of tune, and would
promise to rule fairl y. He was perfectly
square, he said.
"Oh, no you're OF" interrupted the ir-
repressiblo Bass Fiddle, you're only a
triangle"
The small creature with three sides dis
appeared in the lau gh that followed this
sally.
Every body was pretty we'll tuned M
now, and some sharp things were uttered.
The Drum tried to press his claims once
more, but was completely silonced by be-
ing told that he was useless except when
he was tight, which made him so angry
that he burst. This vastly amused the
Bass Fiddle, who was making Jokes by
the chord to increa so the general confu.
sion.
1t was some time before quiet was re-
stored, and then, after proper interval,
the Cornet arose and said he was sorry to
see so much wind wasted in the debate
Choosing King only amounted to secur.
ing leader, but II was natural that tho
choice must not b. a fat Cranks do not
make the best music Hand organs Of
fered proof Of this by the barrel. A full
measure OF crotohets had been advanced
to sustain the claims Of different aspir.
ants, and il had made him quaver with
fear to observe so much dscordance
among those present. The tone Of the
meeting shonld be perfectly harmonious,
aud he thought IL full time to bring the
discussion to a finale. Although repre-
seuting only the minor element Of the as
semblage, he begged TO suggest the Violin
as the best caud date for royalty on &C.
count Of bis great executive ability. he
hoped this would please the mayor part OF
his audience. In conclusion, the speak Of
declared that IL he had offended any one
IL was quite accidental, and he beggeC
pardon.
Tho Coraet's speech was enthnsiastical
" received. and would have been rode
manded but that encores were forbidden.
The Harp objected TO the Violin on the
ground Of bis being too high strung, and
was put out for his rudeness, although, e.
the Bass Fiddle sagely observed, such a
discourteous reflection might have beer
expected from one who had been so much
In the hands OF profess 10 nal wire-pullersi
and the bassoon called attention In 9
} hollow voice 10 the resemblance between