The new North-west., 1888-10-26
BILL NYE,s FURNACE.
l1is Touching Experience with Goa
EnranmeH.

Consumer.
Last year had an experience with fur
mace which ought to be embalmed in song.
only regret that am not q suitable en1-
balmer that might attend to It myself. In
the prime Of summer time engaged coal
dealer to deal me some Goals at q low rata
By this means saved enough on my Goals to
purchase buffalo overcoat to wear while
carving at table during the winter, SO It was
wise move.
We had reddish furnace and tried to
win its confidence and mold its career dur
ing the winter. First It had to be cleaned
out thoroughly in the fall Previous people
had used 1t apparently as retort for clink-
err desired to avoid the expense Of hiring
man to clean it out, a. 1t was not what
would be called skilled labor, and SO did it
myself By this means saved $3.50, to
which added $47.50 for the purpose Of pur-
chasing new suit of clothes to take the
place Of the one ruined by getting It full OF
ashes.
This furnace had two cut offs, jerker Of q
cold air fue, eleven hampers and a tape
worm. would 60 down at night and fill it
full Of Goals, shut the cold air f1ue, examine
the steam gauge also the crown sheet, dump
the clinkers and open the rear damper.
would then retire. In the middle Of the night
the humidity in my room would warn me
that all was not well with the furnace
would 20 below in my simple wrap and find
the furnace suffering from an overdraft
then sought to reduce the temperature and
we famed ourselves to sleep. In the morn
ing the furnace was found to be extinct
This went on for week or two. Then !
asked the coachman to look after the furnace.
told him would look after the horses and
polish the crest if he would try to win the
confidence of the furnace.
He resigned the secoud evening and left
me with the barn and the refrigerator both
on my hands then secured the services OF
middle aged girl who said she used to run
the Jay Gould furnace l told her ours was
the same. Jay and always bought our fur
naces at the same place.
She said she used to have two nights out
while shc was with the Goulds told her
that she would be treated equally we'll by us.
Her name was Lorena. and she did very
well while on duty, but the great difficulty
seemed to be that Lorena and the furnace
both wanted to go out on the same nights.
WAS her alternate with the furnace. and
it made me mad to have Lorena absent
when it was really my night out.
I told her that she might run Jay Gould
clined to take care Of the furnace while she
was sleeping it of. told Lorena that she
bad better 60 back to the Goulda
She did 50.
then began again to steer the furnace
through a tempestuous career. excused
myself while dukes and titled people were at
our house, in order to 60 down and jerk the
furnace. I even tore myself away from
mush and milk sociable up stairs in order to
go below and shovel Goals upon the never
ending appetite of this great bottomless pit.
And yet the basement was the only part OF
my house that was really warm. Up stairs I
gradually froze, while tried to seem genial
and urbane. wore fur overcoat up stairs
while the potatoes were sprouting in the cell
lar, and on the second floor the nurse and the
governess were eating pemmican and waiting
for a relief party. Goose flesh manifested
itself on the exterior Of those who sought to
dress for dinner party on the second floor,
while in the attic my employees were eating
blubber and hoping for congressional relief.
This furnace also had a sound Eagni6er to 1t.
Its sound magnifer, as matter Of fact,
worked better than its other fire did. When
excused myself to our pastor, seeking at the
same time to convey the idea that was leav-
ing the room for the purpose Of some examt-
nation, it annoyed my wife much to hear q
smothered roar, rattle and some loud and
aorid remarks in my well known tones cone
floating up through the register.
It was good furnace for everything but
heating purposes, and have often thought
that If they had the same style in ancient
times the Hebrew children got good deal
better press notices than they deserved.-Bil
Nye in New York World.