The Sully County watchman. (Clifton, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1894, 1888-11-10
WIT AND HUMOR.

"Yes," said the landlady, sadly,
appearances are deceitful, but disap-
pearances are still more so."-Bur-
tngton Free Press.
The chap who finds carpet nail in
his uncooked oysters is among those
who wish the tax taken off raw mate
rial.-B0ston bulletin.
The Vassar serenade is "Gum, o
gum with me-" The girl in the win
dow says: II choose, and will 60"
Net1 Orleans Picayune.
The directors of the National Base
Ball League think all the world dia-
mond, and men and women only play
ers on it-NeU York Graphic.
What do you sell that ribbon for?"
asked young lady in dry goods
store. Eight dollars a week-O, beg
pardon, so cents yard. miss. Id
dies Wear ReUietD.
Queen Emma of Holland continually
winks while speaking. For this rea-
son she is obliged to have all her pre-
scriptions put up by telephone.-Bnr-
ington Free Press.
When a pawnbroker pays $3.50 for
new 500 overcoat he may be trying
to lead an honest life, but he leaves
room for a healthy suspicion to the
contrary. - Omaha Herald.
1t is said that small hand indicates
Refinement, and yet we have seen
small hands, and held them, too, b.
thunder, that brought out language
anything but refined. Naga-
zine.
A rooster that strums on the piano
is exciting the people of Salem, Ill.
There is one thing to be said in favor
OF such piano player. The rooster
goes to bed at sundown. -NorristoOn
Herald.
Before you call attention to the fact
that pig has no use for his tail, please
remember that you have two buttons
on the lower back of your coat that
don't button anything.-Ba-lingtom
Hd,okeye.
II have met with success very fire.
quently," remarked the aged cam
paigner, "bnt we never spoke as we
passed by. Success always seemed to
be in a hurry to see another man.
Harper's Bazaar.
Brown-"What have you got that
string around your finger for, Robin
| sonp" Robinson-"To remind me OF
something am to get for my wife;
and, by thunder, I've forgot what il
was!'-NeU York Sun.
1t requires more real talent to pre-
vent ones self from being run down
IN New York or Chicago than it does
to edit weekly paper in California or
serve in the State Legislature.-San
Francisco Argonaut.
| Gold handled umbrellas are coming
into fashion. The handle is so ar
ranged that it can be taken of. This
is an Improvement on the old style.
where the entire umbrella was taken
off, Tonkers Statesman
An article in an exchange headed
What the Typewriter is Doing
doesn't state the fact that it is expos.
ing the poor spelling of many opera.
tors, as well as their ignorance OF
punctuation and the use of capital let
ters. -NorristoUn Herald.
Mrs. Parington SAYS of her new
cook book: "Now, a book like this
will come into house like an oasis in
the great desert of Sarah and be q
quarantine of perpetual peace
Aarysrilie, (Cat.,) Budget.
Who says Harvard is small place!
Fair visitor-Is that building the Law
School? Dumley 'S9-Well-er. the
truth is I've only been here three
years, and don't know all the build
ings yet.-HdrUdrd LampOon.
What's the matterp" asked a gen
tleman, approaching a crowd on the
street MAN run over by street
car and leg cut off," .'Heavensw h,
said, forcing his way to the PROSTATE
form. STOPPING down, he whispered
"My friend. don't you want a law
yerp'-Epoeh.
Things one would wish to have ex
pressed differently. Guest-"Well
good-by. old man. And you've reall,
got a very nice little place here.
Host-"Yes, but it's rather bare just
now. Ihope the trees will have grown
a good bit before you're back. old
man!'--Punch.
College Professor-"Mr. Samson
what's that you've got in your hand?'
Samson-"A hatchet." .'Is that 8
rope on your shoulderp" "Yes. sir
What are those spots on your
clothesp" Blood" What have you
been doing, sirp" ''Hazing the new
student."-St. Paul Globe.
| Boston young man Gn Chicago)-
Yes, l am naturally proud of my an
cestry, Miss Breezy. Some of my an
cestors came over in the Mayfiower
you know. Miss Breezy (very mucf
interested)-O, did they, indeedi
Why, saw the Mayflower when wa:
in New York last year. ar.-Epoch.
They had missed the train, and she