Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1888-05-28
tight shoes.

tight shoes.
With regard to sparkling over the front
gate, a good deal can be said on both
sides
No matter how prompt actors may be
at rehearsal, there is always one man who
is prompter.
A bright scholar in a Vermont school
recently stated in composition that
doughnuts were first made in Greece.
Wife (club night)-Will you be home
early, John? Husband-Ye-es, l think SO;
but don't keep breakfast waiting for me.
Passenger Con the street-car alarmed)-
Madam, do you feel fit coming on!
Madam (haughtily) sir; l am trying
to find my pocket.
The rivers of the state have been hav-
ING high old time this spring and it will
be noticed that they had it on nothing
stronger than water.
Young wife-I wonder the birds don't
come here any more. l used to throw
them bits of cake 1 made, and Young
HuSDanQ-1IdG dCCOuubS LII lb'
She Cat the theater)-What long,
STACEY stride Mr.. Ham, the tragedian,
has. He-Yes, l understand that he has
acquired that gait by travelling on every
other tie.
s.Why," said the young wife of ply
sician, who was given to boastiEg of her
husbands professional skill, che cured
patient of convalescence in less than
twenty-four hours
A newly appointed country postmaster
in Texas did not send off any mail fol
some time and when written to by an of
fetal replied that he was waiting for the
mailbag to get full before sending it to
the train.
'tYou never find me hiding my light
under a bushel," remarked Mr.. McSwilli
gen in the course of discussion with his
wife. ssYou don't need to-" was the
somewhat acrid reply; "a quart measure
is quite large enough"
Sunday school teacher-What does II
mean, Johnny, in the prayer when it says
LEAD us not into temptation? Johnny
WV, I guess it means that they needn'
trouble themselves, because we can &c
into it ourselves without leading.
This is the toast which the modes
Irishman drank to the Englishman
''Here's to you as good as you are, an'
here's to me as bad as l am. But as goo'
as you are, and as bad as | am, I'm a
good as you are, as bad as l am"
s.Would you like white dove places
above the tombstone?" he asked of th
widow mo, sir; Il think not she an
swered with sigh, 'our neXt-door nelgh
Dor used to keep doves, and it was all
could do to stop John from shootin' EN-.
Mamma" said the sweet boy befor
admiring friends, 81 knew as soon as
came in that there was folks visitin' here,
Ibid you, darling?" said the fond moth
er, trying TO wilt him with her eye; "ho'
did you know?" "Oh, you had on you
company voice."
Some people claim that the newspape
doesn't benefit all classes of society. w
claim that it does. For instance, Oh
cago burglar overlooked $50 in burea
drawer, and the papers so announced i
He returned the next night and not onl
secured it, but suit of clothes beside
WHO Is YOUR BEST FRIENDf
Your stomach of course Why? Because If 1t
out of order you one of the most miserable ere
lures living. Give it fair, honorable chance al
see if it is the best friend ycu have in the en-
Don't smoke in the morning. Don't drink IN q
morning If you must smoke and drink wait uni
your stomach is through with breakfast You CT
drink more and smoke more in the evening and
will tell on you less. If your food ferments al
does digest right,-if you are troubled WI
heartburn, dizziness of the head, coming up OF Il
food after eating, bliousness. indigestion, or al
other trouble of the stomach, you had best u
Green's August Flower, no person can use
without immediate relief.