The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1888-01-18
Bob Bards!!s's R,galr Sund'y Morning
Contribution 10 the Sentinel.
A Funny asn'o AdY.cs to B,ys-EhqusIts
For the SsrioT.
4 Few Points that AAVs Mra than Fun in
Them, ETC.
An American Serenade-The Secret OF Sue
cess-The Science of Snoring-rhe
Power of Language.
Written for the Sentinel.

Written for the Sentinel.
Copyrighted. 1883.
SOME ADVICE TO BOYS.
Ny son, you may not be missed a great
deal bv very wide circle of people when
you die. It won't be necessary for you 10
leave much money for a tombstone. The
few people who love you, who tenderly and
dearly and truly love, will know which
mound covers your sleeping figure, and
they can find 1t Just by the ferns and
grasses that wave ABOVE it, and monument
ninety feet high won't make strangers care
for you, or make them love you, or make
them remember you. You may not be
missed great deal by very many people
when you die, my boy, bat that isn't what
Won want to think about. You want to
make yourself felt and noticed while you
are here. That's what you want to do.
And that is more than most men do. Just
run your eye over this paragraph again, il
you have time, and think over il little,
while you are waiting for morning service
TO begin. Now and then you will meet
man who actually reloices in a mean, en-
| vious sort of way to think that in few
years his more popular, prosperous, sue
cessful neiehoor will be dead and forgotten.
| IL may be true The big, wide world is so
busy with the living that she does seem to
forget her children when they fall asleep.
But you will notice that the man who re-
| ioices in this is usually man whom she
mas forgotten while he yet lives; who is
not noticed who is not felt or heard IL the
world at all. Nov, do you go ahead, my
boy, and don't stop to wonder whether the
world will remember you and miss You one
hundred years from ncg-litle you'll care
for this Old World in 3 hundred years;
Heaven send it mhy be under your feet
then-you Just go adead and make your
l IL fh,,xr yrN-l1
will get along withou. you, my boy; but
while you are here, DO yOd make it under
| stand that you are running part Oh this
show yourself If it is nothing more than
standing O. the tent door and directing the
people to pass 10 the right and move along
in front of the cages
ETIQUETTE FOR THE PARLoR.
Do not manifest impatience or interrupt
when another is speaking. II you think
the moDolOgue has continued long eoough,
lean comfortably back in your chair, as
sumo an expression of intenss interest, close
| your eyes and snoIe, not harshly or Impa.
| tiently, so IS 10 give offense, bus with the
long drawn, musical cadences ola content
| ed man, who is glad to sleep and has
| nothing for which 10 remain awake.
Do not introduce professional topics IN
general conversation. It is much better to
talk about yourself all the time. Then peo-
| pie will have no difficulty in understand
| ing YOU. A sweet, white.baired old lady,
who is devoted to foreign missions, will
| hardly rise TO the level OF your enthusiams
when you tell her how they scored six
| times before they got the word, and then
| they svsggled off with Scraggy Jim at the
| pole and Wild Sal running under the wire,
and Sleepy Jane, that you backed to win
in three straight heats, broke four times on
| the first quarter, and got shut clean out at
| L. al VNn vuf1l fnfprouk hnr
more deeply il you tell her how all the
girls are dead set after you, but you are too
hard .heartedly sharp for 'em, This kind
of talk always Interests old married people.
Do not continually interjFct You know"
and "ycu Gee" into your conversation. Say
rather "Savy, John? " or ''Ketcn on that,
| Cull?' or "Dy e tumble, Shorty p Then
people viii know that you have been to
college away from home.
Never listen to a remark the first time it
is made. This VIII glye you ga opportu-
nifty OF saying. Bag paTd'n" Of intervals.
| Then every body viii know that you have
been abroad-in youe mind.
Talk in very loud tones, OF course. Speak
up so the company will hear you, 10 the
Patlor, rat the table, siSays talk wlth
the man fsrthest away from you. Then
people will say, Who is that eloquent
Young auctiopeeI?'
The oppressive little l6pses in conversa-
tion can be most beautifully filed in By
whistling. If you can drum an accompani-
ment on the window-psne with your flo
gers, the effect will be charming. People
will be greatly pleased with you-when
you 60 away. But, of course, they will be
too polite to say so.
AN AMERICAN sERENADE.
An American ssrenade is a product oil
the nineteenth century. III an American
H.. 49, -
rattle, or is elected President of the United
States, or if he goes abroad, or fights a
French duel, or cate twenty-four dozsn
eggs in twenty four days, or il, like the
illustrious DR.. Tanner, he goes withou;
eating anything for thirty-seven days, he
is royalty serenaded. The American knight
does not go alone when he goeth forth 10
serenade some people. he gOeth in crowd
with brass band and some Roman candles,
blue lights, and sky rockets. The object
OF the American serenade is not to delight
the soul with the witchery of music that
comes as delicately rs the sweet south
wind that breathes upon q national bank
of.''sweet violets" stealing great deal
| more odor than it gives. 1t is not to en-.
| trance the man in whose honor the sere-
made is given, with the harmony otsott-
breathed sound until, "Borne on the swell
ing notes our souls aspire, while solemn airs
improve the sacred fire, and angels lean
from the battleu1ents of heaven to hear"
All, no, my good friendsi The thoroughbred
American serenade is none of that. 1t il
to brighten the bending arch of heaven with
a crasb of brass and sheepskin, and then,
when attracted by the noise, or waiting, by
previous appointment, the astonished man
under whose windows all the silence is thus
rudely shattered, rushes out to see what il
the trouble, the braying OF the horns il
drowned in wild, fierce shrieks OF speech
speech" And then the distinguished
American citizen ''norates," while the i'm
patient crowd gathers around the band and
talks with the musicians, who do not un
derstand a solitary word of. our English
until the time shall arrive when the speech
is spoken, and they are asked In to have
"somethiDg."
TIE. SECRET OF SUCCESS.
It seems to me that the success of tn,
diligent people who stand before kings and
queens Of various degree, is, in measure
, due to their successful diligence, and, fur
thermore, this successful diligence indicate
the existence Of certain qualities es sentia
10 success. True, there are captains VII,
creep in through the cabin windows, anC
there are generals unfit to be sergeants, bu
these pampered pets of unjust favorltisn
do not 'stand" before kings; they boV anC
crouch before them. But when one Is sue
cessful in spite OF adverse criticism an'
sharp competition, am inclined TO thinl
there must be some reason for his success