St. Landry democrat., 1888-07-14
OUR FIRST FAMILIES.
Fhe Ideas of Common, Red -BIooded,
Everyday American Citizen.

| The Ideas of Common, Ketf-BTooded,
Everyday American Citizen.
II there is any thing we pride our
selves upon in this country it is our
first families
Every town has its first families, but
their Importance depends On their loca-
ton.
The first families in Boston, for in
stance, are very blue-blooded indeed,
for some of them know who their
grandfather was and boast of him.
They acknowledge that Springfield has
first families, but allude to them as
hlghly-respectable people, and the
Springfield aristocrats in turn mention
the first families of Sapville as decent
sort of country folks.
You will see that first families have
their degrees, but what constitutes a
first family is rather. hard to deter
mine.
First families usually have nigger
and coat of arms; but they often OBJ
ject to a too diligent examination of the
family tree, as sometimes, ancestors
found hanging to it and the coat of
arms turns out to be coat without
arms, or what the vulgar second and
third families call vest.
The same standard of first familyism
is not applicable to all places Mr..
Beans, of Boston, dates his family
from 1920, when his ancestor came
over i'll the Mayfower, the ancestor
having been the ships cook. Mr..
Lardley, of Chicago, goes back to the
medieval ages before the fire, and is
not familiar with the name of his
grandfather. Mr.. Hustler, of Denver.
is an aristocrat from way back, and his
father carried his fortune and family
portraits into Denver in wheelbarrow
in the misty days of 1874.
A knowledge of ones grandsire can
hardly be the standard, for old man
Sloper in the poor-house remembers
distinctly that his grandfather died in
the same hotel.
The fact that man had ancestors
can hardly be the measure of ii family's
greatness, for it is hard to imagine,
how fellow could get along without
even if historians forgot to
mention them.
We have vainly endeavored to figure
out what constitutes first family, and
have almost given. it up. The best way
is to say you are one and go around
about it. Your neighbors will
probably call you fool for eight or
ten years, and then end by believing
you, when you are first family in
good standing.
There's McGiggles, now. He's a
first family. McGiggles went to school
with me, and wore pants with LIS and
pay windows ON them, for his father
carried the hod and drank tod
was sort of stuck up in those days,
ind became book-keeper in hardware
store, while McGiggles drove gro
,ery wagon. He went into the busi-
ness later for himself and made siath-
RS of money in the barrel business.
He gave up his barrels, joined the
,hurch, married deacon's daughter,
Ind struck out to be first family, and
le got there with both feet. McGig-
yles is high-toned now, but still he
lotices me sometimes and says am
hard-working man.
/ don't know that / will ever 90 in
or being first family man, but per-
APPS | will.
However, we've got to have some
ody for first families, and McGiggles
1ight as well be- one as any fellow,
specially as his boy, T. jefferson
lcGiggles. is now at Harvard, and
'dith McGiggles is going to Europe to
tudy art.
The Bilkmans used to be blue bloods
ntil the old mans bust up in telephone
locks. Then the old woman fired her
igger and started hash factory, and
lat broke up the first family business
,r them.
Old Mandrake is rushing to the front
5 a first familyist since his Indian
llxir began to catch on, and Jimmy,
is son, who used to wash the bottles,
as getting measured for dress suit
le other day when / passed Shears
ailor shop.
Some really great man, like Mr..
Yard McAllister, should devote his
me and energies to writing book on
lis subject, and fix, once and for all,
ome standard by which man away
own IN the tenth and eleventh fam.
les can recognize and do homage to
ie first family the minute he sees one.
BY doing this he will earn the graft
lde OF common. everyday. red-blood-
American citizens.
--s -
The First Rubber Shoes.