Morning journal and courier., 1888-06-11
WRON G.

Country bride Gin up town hotel)-'What's the matter with the lettuce, John| Groom (who has deIuged it with oil and sugar. stSutnin's wrong with the dinged vinegar."- New York Sun.
 Mamma-sMy dear, did you not ask God ard (who has just been throwing stones at the gardener) r)-ssYes, mamma, asked him to, but it looks as if he wouldn't. life.
 A man s'stops' at a hotel when he lodges for one night; he ''stays" when he is we'll fixed; he "puts up" when he is given sky parlor; he is ''guest of the landlord" when
 he does not pay.-New Orleans Picayune Landlady (of fashionable boarding house to applicant)-s'Hav you children, madam!' died last summer" Landlady-''You are very fortunate, for we never take children. D Puck.
 Painful Suspense.-<'I say, Jones, do you know much about Griggs?" "No, but shall this afternoon" "How's thata" ''I lent him two dollars yesterday. and he promised to pay it back at three o'clock to- dsy."-The Epoch.
 "I see," remarked the proof reader, "that one bad error went through in one of the poems last week. The boys printed paddock for 'wedlock.' Shall reprint or call attention to if in a correction2n tsN-no,n replied the
 editor, 'slet it go as it is. Everybody will understand it."-Burdette.
 Mournful News-Mr. Mould the under taker)-"I heard some bad news to-day. A man whom Pve known for years has just 'sThat ought not to be very bad news for us, Uriah" MT. Mould-"He was blown up by dynamite, my ear."-Harper's Bazaar. Young lady-"I heard somebody Kiss you in the dark hall last night" Maid-"You got kissed, too." "Yes, but that's the young man to whom I am engaged to be married. There is no harm in that" "rm glad to hear it. He was the young man you heard
 kissing me in the hall last night" Young
 lady faints.-Texas Siftings.
 Young woman (to dealer)-s'I want to buy a cane for young gentleman, but l hardly know what kind of a head to select" Dealer -"Yes, miss; what sizsshat does he weara"
 Young woman" "Chariey-er-the young gentleman wears Q number five, I think" Dealer" Then you had better select one without any varnish on it."-New York Sun.
 A stdrug store" in a town in Maine. when visited by constable, was found to contain seventeen bottles of lager beer, five bottles containing whiskey, three bottles of gin, three bottles of wine, and two cans of alcohol. It is believed that if it hadn't been for the Maine law, that 'drug store" would have sold intoxicating drinks. Prohibition in Maine is not failure after all.-Norris- town Herald.
 Mamma" said the debutante, t'Mr. Ever green has asked me to be his wife, and I have consented 'fRash grill Unnatural daughterl Do you not know that MT. Evergreen will not have a cent until the death of his father and grandfather "But, mamma. it is the grandfather I am going to marry" 'My darling, I always said you would be an honor to the family. ."-Town Topics.
 Darling" said he tenderly, 'T have made zp my mind to ask you-to ask you" "Yes ." she whispered breathlessly. "To ask you to become my wife. I know. dearest, that it is bold, it is presumptuous for me to do so. You are so much superior to me. I am, feel, unworthy of you, but" ''Say no more, John. I am yours. You may be unworthy of me, but" But what, dear- esta" "Half loaf is better than no bread. "- Eoston Cou1iar