The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-26
BRIGHT BITS.

IT is one of the peculiarities of things in gen
eral that the freshest men generally tell the
stalest stories.-B Boston Commercial
"ARE.YoU forThurnanY'a Tammanyite asked
an Italian fruit dealer on Broadway. Isl sig
nore, was the reEy, waves re banana =
EDISON is totally deaf and is the father of an
infant, and says he~wQuld sacrifice everything
to get his hearing back Genius is frequently
eccentric. -NetC HGUeit Nelcs
"a LIE grows as it travels" A fisherman's
lie is an exception. 1t is the fish that grows,
and the lie is cut, basted and sewed to suit the
size of the fsh.-BostOn Courier.
UNFoRTUNArE.L Loafer. 'S9-"For heavens
sake, Jack, what's the matter?" Goeasy, SO
''ConfOund it all, I've gone and upset my flask
all over my temperance thesis. "-HQrUdrd Lam
pOon. - 81
II SAY, old man, can you tell me what is the
first present mentioned in the Bibl9?"
give it up.'A
Why, Eve presented Adam with CAIN
stupid. Life.
Mr. HEWITT says his election to the mayor
atty of New York meant political death. Judg
ing from the number of times his will has been
contested since then, the gentleman seems to be
about ght-E1tck
Don't you think, love- we had better put a.
flre-escape on our house ?" asked a Brooklyn
woman of her husband.
Not much" he replied; 'the fire goes out
too often as it is. Idea.
VENICE GUIDE 10 tourlstp-You will want to
see the Lion of St Mark
Tourist-NO; the only mark want to see is
the high water mark. I'm from Cincinnati my
self, and know somethin' about floods.-EDoch
Nor EASILY EMBARRASSED YOU kent
track of young Balcony latelyS At the rate he
is going on he'll soon be seriously embarrassed. :"
Embarrassed? Nonsense you don't know the
man. He asked me for the loan of hundred
this morning without the culver of an eyelid -
Life.
THE STRUGGLE FOR FAME-Park Rowe (who is
visiting his friend, Mayne Pike, in the forlorn
village of systematically Jove, Mayne
can't see how you can bury yourself in such
hole as this
Wayne Pike-Cant, ehP Why, I'm a 'promi
nent citizen here; what would / be in New
YorkS-Puck.
TUFFLY-wen, Chumply, as you will be of age
next October, / suppose you intend to cast your
maiden vote for Cleveland and Thurman.
Chumply-Neyaw, deah boy; have vowed to
the disgusting impwopwieties that are fawced
on public man.
Tufay-The deuce didn't ask you to run
for office.
Chumply-No; but it might be fawced on me-
We know; and the bare thought that l might
some day have to carry red bandana, like
those unfortunateS at st. Louis WEAKLY makes
me feel faint.-ErchGnge.
THE EDITOR of a western paper has this to
say: 'The dead. geranium-l eaf-eared spotlet
whom fate has willed shall wither and blight the
little weekly Dreadful around the corner, refers
to the editor of this fiourishing and influential
journal pinfeather journalist and a can't
get-there dude. He also goes on to say that as
a newspaper freak probably the finest
specimen of the kind captured alive
Brethren of the press, this Is ali wrong. Let us
be courteous to one another In this works
day world of ours there is no influence so sooth-
ing and refining as that of courtesy The soft
low spoken word, the gentle smile, the kindly
reference-who has not felt their balm, been
helped over some rough place in life's pathway
by their beneficial effect? Brethren of the
press, again we say let us be courteous to one
another, and let the little mcrobe pull his No.
hat deep down over his eyes and ponder upon
these words. Selahl''-Iid-Bits