The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1888-04-28
JUST FOR FIN.


MoSr people believe in ''the greatest
good To the greatest number" and their
greatest number is number one.-Pttck.
NOTHING Is ever really lost, or can
be lost. sings Walt Whitman. Walt
appears to have never played poker
Chicago NAL.
will be angry if we get married? She
No, they won't care. Why, they are
married, too.-Ths Colonel
mo SIR" said an old man on the car,
81 never did see so bad storm-snd
I've been married more than forty
years. '-NelU York Tribune.
FARMER-"And what is your brother
Frank doing now?" City visitor" He's
paving good deal of attention TO his
etching" Farmer-"Um. What is he
taking for it it?'-Judge.
BALDER-I thought you said this mix
ture would make NV hair come out
quickly; and it seems I'm getting balder
and balder. Barber-Well, isn't y.ur
hair coming out?-JJtdge.
Mr.. PHLATTERLY trying to make him.
self solid)-"What remarkably strong,
manly face your grandfather had, Miss
Phillips" Miss Phillips" Pardon me,
Mr.. Phlatterly, but that's grandma. -
Judge.
MRs. BJoNES-I hear that young Mr..
Sissy is still in search of a wife. Mrs.
Jsmith-Why. | thought he was mar
ried Mrs. Biones-So he was. She's
let him. She's the one he's in search
of.-LJe.
II SEE a buttonless shirt advertised
here. John, said wife looking up from
the paper. "What kind Of shirt is
that" ," Just like mine" WAS the reply.
And the wife resumed her reading
Boston Courier.
CLosEBoY Ito Boutwell,, to whom he
has given a cigar from his private box)
"A man might smoke worse cigars
than these. Boutwell," Boutwell,
Yes, he (pufi) might, but would he puff
dare ?''-Life.
CoUNTRYMAN lin museum}-Did that
stick belong to George Washington mis-
ter? Explanatory official impressive
ly)-No, sir; that is the cane that killed
Abel. Countryman-Gosh, We don't
say so.-Epoch.
He was base ball player, and he asked
a girl to marry him. ''Cut on first" she
said, with a cold, reflective smile.
Don't fatter YOURSELF he replied, as
he picked himself up, Its out on
third. - Washington Critic.
GUEST Ito Florida landlord, who has
presented bill)-Does this include the
good will and fixtures? Florida land
lord-Good Will and fixtures. Guest
Yes; don't want the hotel unless the
good Will and fixtures go with it-NeiC
York San.
BosroH Sunday school teacher
Waldo, who was the strongest man
Waldo (hesitatinglv)-Well, l did know,
but I've forgot Teacher-Think for a
moment, Waldo; the name begins with
s. Waldo-Oh, yes; Sullivan,-Ne'T
York Sun.
CLOSED right there.-Art Dealer de
scanting on the virtues of the picturel-
You will observe, sir, that the drawing
is free, that Agriculturist-W if
the drawin' is free, an you don't tax me
too much fer the frame b'gosh, I'll take
THE Epoch.
WAITER-Isn't that splendid wine
Guest-It has a fine flavor. The color
pleases me very much. Waiter-I
should smile. Maybe the boss didn't
have a time getting it up to the color.
He lad to ransack all the drug stores III
town.-Ter-aS SJtings.
DO you wish to take cab, sir?' in
quired the hackman. mo, | want the
cab to take me-" was the reply of the
purist. And the cabby meekly bowed
his head and made the charge 81, sew
enty-fve per cent. of which was for the
enforced lesson III grammar.
JONES met Brown. The latter's face
was long enough to reach from here to
Liverpool "Well, dear boy, it's all
over. / get married in a fortnight"
"But people don't get married in Lent;
what are you thinking about 7" Yes,
Z. do u JtiffuS
GRACE-"Isn't that your tiancee, Kate"
Kate-"Yes. Why?" Grace-"Isn't
he awfully dark, dear ?" Kate-"Quite;
but old gold, with the accent on the
gold being the contrasting color, the
combination is an agreeable one and
quite harmonious. See %'--Jlldge.
SHE was pretty saesgirl;
He asked for kiss,
For he was the accepted
OF the fair and bush1ng miss.
She gave him one and as she drew
Her rosy lips away,
rs there" she asked in trembling tones,
Boston Courier.
CLERK Ito Young lady who has pur-
chased a pair of gold sleeve buttons for
her fiancee ANY initials, miss Young
ladv-Oh. yes, / forgot, engrave the let
ter L, his first name. Clerk-Ah. May
| ask, miss, if it is Uriah or Ulysses?
Names with { are rare. Young lady
(proudly)-H name is Eugene.-TOWu
Topics.
SENATOR VEST was describing the linn
tied means of the post-ofiice in Kansas
City and said; 'Why, Mr.. President, |
have seen waiting at the dellvery-wln-
dows line of ladies' half mile long"
Senator Vance rose and said: "Mr.
President, | wish 10 inquire if that is
the usual length Of women in Mis-
souri, ?''-Aug,tstG Ca Chronicle
Miss MARLBoRO-"I had such mis-
fortune to-day, Professor. Ny parrot
escaped and l haven't seen it since
Professor (of mathe ematics)-"Indeed?
How sad And yet, do you know, Miss
Marlboro. vour affliction could be
beautifully diagrammed." Miss MARI
boro-HAhr' Professor" Yes; it's
pollv-gone. .''-Detr0it Free Press.
JACK Ito his chum )-"Gus, Pm going
10 ask Clara Smith tonight to be my
wife. and / may not be in until late.
Better leave the gas burning a little"
An hour later. Gus-"Why, what brings
you home 20 early, Jack? Did you find
Miss Smith out?" Jsck-'I say, Gus,
what do YOU think about leasing these
rooms for three years more? '-Isrds
.Sifttngs.
REVENGE is Mother" said
Miss Clare. do you think Bobby ought
to lounge in that handsome chair p
Certainly not. Bobby" said his moth
er, reprovingly, you might break it,
IF it's strong enough to hold Clara
and Mr. Featherly," argued Bobby, as
he slowly slid down, lit ought to be
strong enough to hold a little boy
kelg York Sun.
CorHsEI. Ito itnesst-Now, Bridget,
YOU are positive that the day was Thurs
DAY on which this happened? Bridget
- wud Law me loife on it, sorr. Coun-
sel-But, Bridget, all thi. occurred some
months ago, you know. Might IL have
been "Wednesday or Friday? Bridget