The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-01-25
WITH HIS LEFT HAND.
DY OPIE =. READ.

DY OPIE p. READ.
There lived in the neighborhood Of
Bearwsllow, Ky, notorious "bully'
named Alf Fcatherston. Unlike the
aspiring man of a mining camp he did
not rest his reputation upon the knife MOI
the burning of powder, but upon the
vigor of his arm and the agility of his
body. 81 don't banker airter KILN q
man." he often remarked. 81 jest
wanter break some NV his bones an see
him grin like 'possum.
One day, while number OF men were
at work on log meeting-hou e, ALT came
along, and, after lending helping hand
in the placing of large log, he turned to
the men and said: Hands, see some
putty stout lookin' timber 'mungst yoi,
but CAL whup any man in the crowd"
"Now, All" replied old man Sum-
mers, 1--WE air engaged in putin up a
house Nv peace. an it would look rather
out of keepin' in us to stop and fight"
"The very foundation Nv yore shebang
is built on blood" Alf rejoined, sam l
don't see why you air so mcalymouth
over this here log contrapshun. They
tell Inc that when churches wuz fust
built folks uster git around 'em an hit
each other with clubs an hack out one
another's blood with scythe blades an
sich."
'Iain't goin' to argy with you, ALT,
said old nan Summers, 'fur I don't
reckon it makes no dilfunce to you
whuther the church wuz baptized in
blood ur rain water"
'Ur ambier," suggested Alf.
II say amt goin' to argy with you.
Boys, who's that comm yander2"
'soim Peters," some one replied.
"That jest stan's me in hand" said
Alf, with frightening countenance. 81
had one little tiirt with him wunst an I
didn't give him quite enough, as / have
hearn that he want satisfied"
Mawnin', hands, mawnin'!" shouted
Sim as he approached. ''Buildin' a
sheep pen, hah {" he remarked as he
came up and glanced at the logs scat
tered about. "Sheep pens air mighty
fine things, Uncle Summers, but l
reckon you'll have to chink 'em putty
tight to keep the goats frum gittin' in."
II reckon we ken manage to keep you
out, Sim," the old man replied. The
men roared, and Alf, after snorting con-
temptuously, said:
"Oh, he chawed you that time; jest
nachully chawed both yore years OIL"
wall, now," Sim rejoincd, "he'd
have mighty big job eff he wuz to un-
dertake to chaw off both Nv yourn.'
"lou bet him ur anybody else would :;
not becaze my years is so big but becaze
they air the inherited property Nv sich a
mau."
"vh, let up about bein' sich man."
Sim replied. I'VE amt hearn nuthin'
fur a year ur two but how good man
you think you air. You air ez big ez a
crap mortgage.
Atty es, an ez strong"
Sim--"Yes, an ez much w cut
throat"
Old Summers-"Come, gentlemen, you
air gittin'a leetlc too clost to each 9TH
er."
Alf-"He amt gittin' none too clost
to nc. I ken stand anything Nv that
sort, ken. Iwuz raised three in bed,
me- I don't kcer how clost man gifts
to ME, cz long ez no sticks to the
truth"
Sim-"But the clostcr man sticks to
the truth the furder he is away frum
YOU"
Old summers - 'Come, gentlemen,
don't mowl an jowcr. It ain bccomin'
in men to ack thater way. Turn to here
an hep us up with that big side log"
Alf-"I amt thinkin' bout he'pin' up
with no log. I'm thinkin' bout walkin'
somebody's log, me-"
Sim-"Mine, reckon"
Alf-"Yourn."
sim-"You better put spikes in yore
shoes ur you mout slip off. :"
Af-"Oh, Pm rough shod. Sim
Peters, ken whip you with my left
hand"
Sim-'Thats what you said some
time ago, but when got to pushin' putty
hard you tuck two hands, an woulder
tuck three eff you'd had en-"
Alf-''If did take two hands it wuz
becaze forgot myself
Sim-"No, l think it wuz becaze you
recollected yourself. Gentlemen, ain t
had no peace fur a good while, on ac-
count of this yere feller. Evcr'whar
20 find that he has been thar just befo'
me, girin' it out that he ken make Inc
climb tree ur 60 down in a sink-hole,
an rll tell you what's fack, ef this
sortcr talk amt stopped, somebody's
goin' down into hole never to come out
sg'in.'
Alf-"Who wuz it that snapped a
pistol at me last fall2 Who wuz it that
flung hatchct at me one day when /
wuz drunk
sim-"I amt on the witness stand"
Alf-"You wouldn't tell the truth CT
you wuz.' -.
S,m-'Ef the truth wuz told ahont
YOU the folks would run you outcn the
neighborhood."
Alf-"That mout be, but nobody
never hung my daddy" ,
Il Summers -"Come, ALI, don''
talk thater way"
sim -'tMy daddy wuz hung-hnne
by the bushwhackcrs, an yore daddy
All rstherson, wuz the scoundrel that
it'd e rope"
ST: -''An' they tell me that he put VI
q mighty fine job. But hat amt go'
nuthin' to do with the pint in question
said that I ken whup you With my left
l;,ad -