Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1888-01-28

lI.Ah El0E
| The @ronaut doesn't want the earth.
l-Washiag ton Critic.
THERE is not much color to gin, yet
it can scarcely be called sober tint
Epoch.
The man who wants to have Sunday
abolished might compromise on having
Saturday night doubled.
1t is the shop pie that often fur
nishes the piece that passeth under
standing. Alta California
THERE is rotation in Office, and then
again there is potation in Office. Both
are common.-NeaU Haue1a Ne,os.
STRIKE Out Like a Man" was the
title of poem that was sent in to an
editor, and he did; he struck out all
but the first verse, like man, and
printed that -Teras Strings.
A POET has sent us some verses en-
Titled II Would Live On" You will
have to turn your attention to some
thing else besides poetry if you would
get something to live on.-Teras Sitt-
i7sgs.
A COMPLIMENT knocked out. He
Do you know, darling, such a bright
thing came into my head few mo-
ments ago! She-Oh, Algernon, what
was it? Hell was thinking about
your eyesl She-Why, they are in my
head. Burlington Free Press.
"M1rH THM1rH," he asked, as he
drew up his collar and adjusted his
single eyeglass, edo you believe in the
Darwinian theory, believe that man is
dethended from monkey?" mo, :"
she replied, surveying him from head
to foot, II believe the very reverse. -
Boston Courier.
WTE-George, what did you 90
with my new hat? Husband-Your
new hat? I've not seen it Wife
Yes, you have. You took it with You
when you started down town this morn
ing. Husband Great snakes! Was
that your hat? I used it for my UNI
brella cover.-Arcola Record.
Mrs. WALDO of Boston, have a
letter from your Uncle James, Pene-
lope, who wants us to spend the sum-
mer on his farm. Penelope obviously
Is there any society in the neighbor-
hood? Mrs Waldo-I've heard him
speak of the Holsteins anu Guernseys.
I presume they are pleasant people.
BRowN-You're lucky dog, Robin
son. So you married girl worth half
q million dollars in her own right.
Robinson (rather more sadly than the
circumstances seem to warrant)-Yes.
Brown You ought to put up the
drinks. Robinson-All right, old man.
Just wait while I run into the house
and see if can get dollar.
THE MAIDEN PAUSED.
The maiden paused a look OF pain
Stole DER her chiseled features;
Her hands few back with might and main,
Like two unbridled creatures.
She wriggled, painted, held her breath.
And writhed through every muscle.
.Great Jovei" CRIED @can this be death9'
@Guess not, a stranger near me saith.
"She's bunchin' out her bustle!'
-Cleveland Sun.
"D1D you read that thrilling story Of
eight African lions and their trainer
battling in cage?" eyes, I read the
story, but it didn't strike me as being
thrilling. Why, I myself have often
participated in a scene that's good
deal livelier than that" 20, you're
joking" mo, I'm not I've served no
less than seven times in one Of our
State conventions on the Committee on
Contested Seats.
Mrs. MARBRo'ss Footman "a very
slim e)-John, hear you're leaving
your place. What's up? I thought
you were fixed for life. Mrs. Cresus'
Footman "a fat one)-So I thought;
but the missus took it into her head to
get new English coachman, and now
she says I don't match him, and if I
can't train down to his size in week l
must 60 The idea of askin' man O.
my physique to make skeleton of
himself Boston Beacon.
FoRGETFUL MANS FATE
~You see me now a wreck"
thin, pale man did mutter;
But yet one month ago
Twas as fat as butter.
-My troubled Well. you know,
Invent to Saratoga,
And for day or SO
I ate just like an ogre.
But soor nay meals were served
Lukewarm, and then so frigid
My brain became benumbed,
My muscles all were rigid.
-To pigmy's size shrank.