The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1888-02-22
ARMSTRONG'S LESSON.

camp on 1uD0 River there lived queer
genious named Armstrong. He was an
honest miner, not differing materially
from his fellows, excepting that he had
curious habit of talking to himself.
From the simple reason that he depat ted
from the common custom in this one par
t,cular he was of course voted crazy by
the other miners. To call all persons
Hcrazy" who do not follow the customs
of the ma .ority is a constant habit with
men. But day after day Armstrong
worked away with his p ok and shovel,
caring nothing Tor the remarks of his
neighbors, and seeming to wish for no
partner in his tolls or rest save the in
visible parsonage whom he always ad-
dressed in the second person singular,
and with whom he was almost in close
and earnest conversation. The drift of
his talk while at work would be as fol-
lows:
'Rather tough work, ,Armstrong-rich
dirt, though-grub 81 a pound-no
time to waste-pitch in, sir-hanged if
don't wish was in the States. This
INNINGS mighty hard work Nonsense,
Armstrong; what a fool you are to be
talking that way, with three ounces
day right under your feet, and nothing
to do but Just to dig it out"
His conversation would be duly pune
tuated with strokes of the pick and lifts
of the loaded shovel And so the days
would pass along, and Armstrong worked
and slept and talked with his invisible
partner. Well, it happened in due course
of tine that the class o human vampires
commonly called gamb ers made their
appearance ut the camp where Armstrong
had been working. As he was not above
fol owing the example of his fellows, he
paid the newcomers visit. 1t is the same
old story. After watching the gam
awhile he concluded it was the simplest
thing in the world. So he tried his luck
and won-$l00 Now, any new ex-
perience would set Armstrong to think
ing and talking to himself worse than
ever. 1t was 50 this time. = Nov, Arm
strong" he said, as he hesitated about
go ng To work the next mo ming that
is the easiest 81, you ever made in your
life. What's the use of your going into
a hole in the ground to dig for three
oun es dayl The fact is, Armstrong
you are sharp. You are not made for this
kino of work. Suppose you Just throw
away 1Ohl DlA n ouu euONGls lCd q lilC
mines, buy II SUIT of store clothes, dress
up like a born gentleman, and go at some
bus.ress that suit your talent"
Armstrong was not long in putting
these thoughts and sayings into action.
He left the diggings and invested in fine
clothes. lie looked like another man,
but he was still the same Armstrong,
neye. theless. He was not long in finding
an opportunity 10 try new profession.
Walking forth in his fresh outfit he had
just concluded long talk with himself
about his bri- hit prospects when he
halted in front of large tent W tn a sign
over it: Miners Rest" Armstrong went
in. 1t did not seem to him that he re.
mained very long, but it was long enough
to work wonderful revolution in his
feelings. When he came out he was a
changed man-that is to say, he was a
''changeless" man. He was thunder
struck, amazed, bewildered. He had lost
his money, lost his new prospect, lost his
se,f-conceit-l st everything but his new
clothes and habit of talking to himself
II is useless to say that he was mad
Armstrong was very mad. But there was
no one 20 be ma at but Armstrong him
sell so self number two was in for rough
lecture.
"Now, Armstrong, you are q nice
spec men-you fool-you bilk--you dead
beat-you inf" Well, / need not re-
peat all the hard thing he said. Like
King Richard he "found within himself
no pity for himself"
But mere words were not sufficient
II was time for action. But Armstrong
ne er once thought of drowning, shoot
ing, hanging or any other form of suicide
He was altogether too original, as well
as too sensible Tor that. Yet he was re-
solved on something real and pract cal in
the way of reformatory punishment. He
felt the need of "A self-imposed decree of
bankruptcy that should render the failure
IS complete as possible, and prevent a
similar course in the future.
So the broken firm OF Armstrong &
Self went forth in meditation long and
deep. Some of his thoughts were almost
too deep for utterance But finally he
stood by the dusty road along which the
great freighting wagons were hauling
suppl es to the mining camp up the Sacra-
mentO. One of these wagons, drawn by
six yoke of oxen, was Just passing.
Snap, snap, snap, in slow irregular success
sion, came the keen, sting reports of the
long Missouri OK whip. - lang g'lang
wo-hawl' shouted the tall, dust be-
grimed driver, as he swung his whip and
cast a sidelong glance at the broken firm,
wondering "What all them store clothes
was doin' thar Now, when Arm
strong saw the long column of white
dust rising behind that wagon he was
taken with an idea. So he shouted 10 the
driver TO know if he might be allowed to
walk in the road behind the wagon.
"Get in and ride, said the driver
NO" said Armstrong, Il wish to
walk.
"Then walk, you crazy fool, " was the
accommodating response as the driver
swung his whip.
Then came the tug OF war. Greek
never met Greek more fercely than did
the two eenteading spirits composing
the firm of Armstrong Il Self at that
particular moment.
"HOw, Armstrong" said the impe-
riouI head Of the i'm, ''you git right