The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-15
BRIGHT BITS.

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DtD You ever notice that a man goes to a law
Yer and To physician for precisely the same
purpose st, Adams Messenger
CAtUMNY, says philosopher, is like a coal; il
1t does not burn il will soil Yes and caUmny
warns man about as well as coal, too. Still,
we prefer coaL-Lfe
The poor people of suffering ireland should
not be discouraged. Adam. you know, was
evicted, but his descendants have won fame and
fortune Just the same.-SOme1'Uilte Journal.
WHAT is home without a mother?' It's a
place where the girls can sit up with their fell
lows until they hear the old man coming in the
gate about midnight. lucky State Journal
QUEEN VICTORIA was born on a Friday, and
the Prince of Wales who is somewhat short
sighted, thinks Friday an unlucky day for him.
lie thinks ii his mother hadn't been born he
would be King. life.
ExPLoYER-Young man, am informed that
your habits are not all they should be-
Employe-Perhaps not, Mr.. Wineland, but
consider my salary get as fin as | can afford
to-AeW HdUen Netcs.
THE HUMAN BRAIN is heaviest between the
ages of IA and 20. This a somewhat remark
able scientific fact, when we come to consider
That this is the identical period at which the
human head is biggest. Washington Critic.
THIS is about the time of year that a man de-
cides on becoming ar amateur gardener He
should apply to the man who became an anna
teur gardener this time last year if he would
like To get SO or SIS worth OF implements for
about 81 5O--PIck.
HE-Do you know, Miss Mabel, 1 have discov-
cred why my brain is so active
She-No, Mr.. Minuswt, what is your theory ?
He-lt is because 50 often start a train of
thought.
She-Ah, yes The Limited It'd Bits
WELL for my part" said Henderson, 81
don't think much of your smart women If
other men want to marry them it is no affair of
mine; but none of them for me, thank you
don't want a wife that knows more than do -
And 50, remarked Fogg, you remain single. -
--BoStOa Transcript.
MADAME-Can yon cook choral croquettesf
COOk-Nes, madame.
Madame Can you make a hasheesh omelettes
Cookies, madame.
MadamP-lan you speak Nolapuk?
Cook luently.
Madame-Well, think you viii do.-TYd- Bits
$50 YOU think you can dress a show window
so that the ladies will all stop and look at it, do
yOu?'' asked the manager of dry goods store
of an applicant for work.
Yes, sir, do
well sir. what is the first thing you would
dor
I'D put big mirror in the window and"
That's enough, young man; we don't want
you as an employe. Wen take you as a part
ner. y Chicago Times.
WHY, Cicely, my dear I'm so glad you
called in the morning | want you to go shop
ping with me, said her best friend enthusiastic
ally.
with pleasure What are you going to have
that's new?"
40, nothing; but I'm going to match a
braid and get some buttons for my spring
suit. "
We can easily use up the forenoon. I'll be
with you directly. '-Hdrtford Post.
IN the village of L. a minister one Sunday
when about to publish the banus of marriage
discovered he could not find the Names Not
wishing to make a long pause. he repeated: Il
publish the bauns of marriage between -"
Still no signs of the paper. He began again. II
publish the banns of marriage between"
Still no paper could be found. lie began once
more II publish the banns Of marriage be-
tween The beadle, wishing to enlighten
hiIn as to where the paper cont lining the names
was cried ont, TO the CONSERVATION of the con
gregation. "Atween the cushion and the desk,
sir. "-Erchdnge.