The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1888-03-10
ABOUT LovE.LETTERs.
40 Man or Woman In Love who Has Not
Written Them.


The writing Of love letters began at
very early period of the worlds his
tory. We can not bring documentary
evidence to prove just where or how 1t
begun. or who started it, for history is
hazy when we undertake to get at the
facts, away back near the time Of the
primal pair; but inasmuch as love was
included in the original outfit of the
human family, 1t must have been talked
in Eden, and inasmuch as writing is
merely talking at long range. it follows
the conclusion, we submit, is newt.
able--that love letters passed between
the first pair oflovers that happened to
be separated after the invention oil
writing.
If Adam and Eve had known how to
write and could have guessed how
much pleasure they could find in the
new sensation. we have no doubt they
would have parted from each other
few days just to indulge in epistolary
communication. True, there was no
general post-oilice, no fast mails, no
carrier system, no green stamps in their
time, but they might have left their let.
ters, as millions of their descendants
have done. in u hollow tree-.an apple
tree, for instance--or under some loose
stone on top of the garden wall. What
q relief from ennui they would have
found in such an exchange Of VOWS and
compliments and tender nothings.
Why is it that the publication of love
letters in courts of law or in the news
papers sends ~ snicker across the con-
tinent? Why do people. old and young
and of all sorts and condition, rush in
crowds to the courts and almost travel
over each others heads to hear love
letters read and then go home and
laugh at them as if they had found
something unique in the way of fun?
Why do grave men and sober women
skip all the sensible reading in news
paper if it happens to contain a love
letter, and, having read that, laugh at
it as if it were the latest and best of
Gilbert's operatic jokes? Ten to one if
all the old trunks in all the old garrets
were called to give up their treasures
they would convict these grave men
and sober women of just such "silli-
ness" if they please to call it so, as
that which excites their risibles. No
man or woman was ever thoroughly in
love-and not to have been there, we
are informed, is to have missed some
happiness, ut least-who didn't say and
do "si,ly" things. Why, then. does
every body feel such an irresistible in
clination to poke fun at the manuscript
love-making of an unfortunate whose
letters get into the courts and papers?
1t is mystery we shall not attempt to
explain.
There is one phase of this general
subject that seems to call for special
mention, to-wit: the intensity that an
aged swain puts into long range court
ship and the peculiar zest with which
other aged parties get their full of fun
out of his written caresses. There is
nothing new in the torridity of an old
mans love, provided its object be a
damscl of tender years. Ii we had the
social statistics of the Patriarchs-and
we regret our inability to cite them on
this occasion-we would prove that De-
cember has always been falling in love
with May. And if mathematical formu-
Is were applicable to a matter of this
kind. we could demonstrate that the
heat of an old mans love for young
woman is in the ratio of the square of
his distance from her in years. Why
make fun of Il universal trait?-W WASH
ingt0n Post.