davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1888-02-26

her. An hour or two later the doctor re-
lieved her of nine pound baby, much to her
surprise and that of her husband, neither of
whom had any idea, they said that such an
event was about to happen.
A large eagle swooped down upon hen be-
longing to Mrs. Berry, who lives in Marion
County, South Carolina. Mrs. Berry, who
is seventyfour years old, attacked the bird,
which released its prey and seized the old
lady by the leg, burying it's talons one and a
half inches in the flesh. Mrs. Berry fell
down and screamed. The eagle held on until
Mr.. Berry ran up and cut its head off.
George Holmes, small boy at Macon, Ga,
was riding a horse the other day when it
took fright and ran away. The little fellow
held on manfully, and as the horse dashed
down the street he passed the house of Mr..
Chauncey, and was recognized by Mr..
Chauncey's setter. The dog evidently knew
that the horse was running away, and, run
ming ahead of him, caught the horses lip in
his mouth and stopped him, so that Mr.
Chauncey, who ran up at the time, could
catch him. The sudden halt of the horse
threw Master George to the ground, but he
was unhurt.
The Baddeck (Cape Breton) Reporter says :
A queer fish of enormous size was caught on
a codtishh-trawl near Englishtown on Friday
by Georgd Fader. 1t was twelve feet ten
inches in length, and as big around as pork
barrel. 1t was like a hake in appearance
The liver was quite a load for p. Musgrave
and Angus Morrison to carry on the hand
barrow, and will make about eight or ten
gallons of oil. All the fishermen came to see !;
none of them had ever seen so strange fish,
and could not give it name 1t was cut
through with the splitting knife, showing
flesh as white as chalk There were no bones
in IL
Omaha daily bee., 1888-02-26
Capturing a Schoolma' am.

Boston Courier: "Yes," said the
young man, as he threw himself at the
feet of the pretty school teacher, Il
love you and would go to the worlds
end for YOU"
"You could not go to the end of the
world for me, James. The world, or the
earth, as 1t is called, is round like a
ball, slightly ilattened at the poles. One
of the first lessons in the elementary
geography is devoted to the shape Of
the globe. You must have studied it
when you were a boy"
'Of course L did, but"
'And it is no longer theory. Cir
cumnavigators have established the
fact"
II know, but what l meant was that |
would do anything to please you. All!
Minerva, if you knew the aching
void"
There is no such thing as void =,
James, Nature abhors vacuum; but
admitting that there could be such "a
thing, how could the void you speak
of be void If there was an ache in
ity"
~ mean to say that my life will be
lonely without you, and that you are my
daily thought and my nightly dream.
would go anywhere to be with you.
II you were in Australia or the north
pole would Hy to you. L"
"Flyl 1t will be another century be-
fore men can fly. Even when the laws
Omaha daily bee., 1888-02-26
PEPPERMINT DROPS.

It's wise child that knows its own birth
place
A popular boarder tale-I will settle next
week.
The Joker knows how to pull the guy
ropes.
The only thing chronic borrower will not
take is a hint.
A good many dough heads are still found
among the upper crust.
Boston people have no cyclones, but they
have lectures by Joseph Cook.
There is good deal of difference between
"a flea in the ear and "a bee in the bonnet.'
1t would be great thing for the world if
Wagner had only died with all his music in
him.
1t is the men who write poetry when they
don't have TO that the public can never for
give.
Cable street car companies should join
some secret society in order not to lose the
grip.
In spite of our best efforts our delinquent
subscribers are holding their own-and a lit
tie of ours.
"Apple green will be the spring color"
says fashion note. 1t will also be the sum
mer cholera.
A shabby coat is no disgrace, but it is great
impedment to the successful negotiations of
small loan.
Never ask crust of a crusty man. Ask
him for meat, for he'll give you acold shoul-
der with pleasure.
The Grand Duke Alexis has become an ad-
miral. He is now prominent enough to be
blown up by bomb.
What are pausesrn asked the teacher Of the
primary class. "Things that grow on cats"
piped the small boy at the foot.
A Charlotte Harbor man has set a hen on
alligator eggs. The hen will think she has
the iim-iams when the shells break.
The reputation of the ground hog as a
Omaha daily bee., 1888-02-26
SINGULARITIES,

Jacob Walton of Augusta, Ca, is the
proud owner of a duck that lays black eggs.
A hen in Bay City, Mich, strangled to
death in att emptng to swallow a live mouse.
Samuel Meyers, of Avon, H., has raised a
fine watermelon this winter on vine planted
in his cellar.
A pig having five toe-nais on each foot
was butchered the other day by Il. ii. An
derson at Timmonville, S. G..
Mrs. Charlotte Cain, of Milton, Mass, is
ninety-four years old, and her favorite pet is
a parrot which she has had for tfty-five
years.
A hawk attacked litter of young pigs in
Calvert county, Maryland, the other day
and killed one of them before it could be
driven off.
George B. Bromcr of Sacramento, Cal,
has a canary that is eighteen Years old
Although it has been blind many years it
sings as well as ever.
A resident Of Lee county, Georgia, has
tanned blue jays so that they fly down from
the trees and perch on his shoulders as he
walks around his garden.
The wife of John Is. Shelton, Of Patten,
Mo-, recently gave birth to three fine boys,
weighing twenty-five and one-half pounds.
They have been named Abraham Isaac and
Jacob.
A farmer in jackson County, Michigan, has
spring Of warm water on his farm which in
winter keeps the snow melted. for yards
Omaha daily bee., 1888-02-26
IN THE FUNNY MANS DOMAIN
Man and His Shoes-Had to Pay to
Hear His Own Lecture.
CAPTURING A scHooLMA'AM.

An Uncommon Sight - Not All Are
Fearfully Made-The Girl With u
the Jersey - COultin't BE
Fooled With-Jokelets.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-02-26
Rebuked by His Shocked Parent.

Detroit Free Press: "Well, BERTHE,
dear, were you q good boy at school to-
day?n asked Kalamazoo mother of her
son of ten years.
'You can jist bet I was" replied
BERTHE. :" The boy that's perfect in our
and Pm going to freeze onto it myself. ="
"Bertie," cried his shocked parent, II
want you to stop using those vulgar
slang words and phrases. Where
you catch on to all of them is a mystery
to me. Every other word you speak is u
slang expression and l want you to drop
it, sir. Talk about freezing on to a
thing! What are you giving us, boy?
Do you expect me to tumble to any such
vulgarity as that? Not if l know my
self don't. Now, you light out, and let
it be cold day before hear any more
such talk from you, and don't you for
get it,"
Omaha daily bee., 1888-02-26

ashes, but society wants the sackcloth made
up becomingly and the ashes must be ashes
of roses.
Mrs. Blogg ito inquiring stranger)-Yes,
we are IN a musical community. You have no
idea how many eXecutioners Of music we
have in town.
Many man who remains sat the Office
till late at night to balance his books finds
considerable difficulty in balancing himself
on his way home.
Bill Brown, poor but honest New York
newsboy, went to Dakota seven years ago
yesterday without rag on his back. Now he
is covered with 'em.
Family Physican-I am afraid you have
been eating too much cake and sweet stuff.
Let me see your tongue. Little Glrl-Oh,
you can look at it, but it won't tell.
OIgnatius Donnelly complains that the print
ers' strike in Chicago has seriously delayed
work on his book, ''The Great Cryptogram.n
Strikes are not always so bad, after all.
You may shout and fume and stamp and rage,
And swear and hoot and blast;
But you'll never reach your dwelling
With the horse car that is past
new steel gun has been designed for our
new steel navy AS the enemy approaches
the muzzle his attention is attracted by
small sign, Drop nickel in the slot and
see the gun go off,"
Kitty was on the lounge, purring as loud
as she could, and Katie was coddling her,
''Oh, mamma" she cried all at once, "my
kitty has got a washboard i'll her throat, and
can feel the noise rub over it.n
Selsby-Good morning, Mr.. Grayson.
Can't show you some Of our new suitings
and trouseringsl Grayson-Not to-day.
only want few collarings and cuttings;
and, say, what can you give me in the way of
good bootings.
Mr.. Jinks TO landlady)-What kind of a
duck did you say this was, Mrs. Dinklyin
Landlady-"I didn't say. simply ordered a
duck from the butcher's." Mr.. Jnks (strug-
Cling with a second iont)-"I think he has
sent you a.decoy duck" -
Omaha daily bee., 1888-02-26
What Had He Been Drinking.

Washington Critic: A Washington
girl visiting in Annapolis was con-
stantly confusing the naval lieutenants
of different grades. and some of the
superior grade didn't like it. One day
she was talking to one of these and In
nocently made the usual, mistake.
Il beg your pardon" he explained,
with immeasurable hateur, I'm a full
lieutenant"
"Oh, are you?" she twittered. "Well,
you ought to be ashamed of yourself.
What have you been drinking?"
She would have gone on but he did,
and left her there convinced that he
was telling the truth.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-02-26

call me liar?" asked one railroad man
of another during a dispute they had on
business.
"No, colonel, don't mean to call you
a liar. On the contrary, say you are
the only man in town who tells the truth
all the time; but am Offering a reward
of S25 and n chrome to any other man
who says he believes me when say you
never lie, was the response.
Well, I'm glad you take it uback," re-
piled the other man, as the tiger-like
look of ferocity faded out of his fea-
tureS
Omaha daily bee., 1888-02-26
Lenten Observances.

Lenten Observances.
Washington Critic.
Pull down the blinds.
Square up with your butcher.
Organize Sackcloth and Ashes clubs.
Smother your laughter with groans.
Hire pew.
Knock satan endways!
Shoot the receptions.
Stab the teas.
Kill the germans.
Great is forty day-power piety.
The devil has retired from society.
Where are your wings:
Now for 5-o'clock prayers.
Nine hundred and sixty hours of Sunday.
Don't crowd the mourners, MIR. Devil.
Prop the church doors open.
Societyis taking nap during service.
Ia ia, Devvie, old boy; see you later.
Wait till after Easter!
Whoop la!
Omaha daily bee., 1888-02-26
Man and His Shoes,

For instance, both soul may lose.
Both have been tanned both are made tight
BY cobblers; both get left and right.
Both need mate to be complete,
And both are made to go on feet.
They both need heeling, oft are sold,
And both in time will turn to mold.
With shoes the last is first; with men
The first shall be the last, and when
The shoes wear out they're mended new;
When men wear out they're men dead, too! !!
They both are trod upon, and both
VIII tread on others, nothing 10th.
Both have their ties, and both incline,
When polished in the world to shine,
And both peg out Now, would you choose
To be man or be his shoes!
Had to Pay to Hear His Own Lecture.
Fairfield Journal. Theodore Tilton
was about to lecture at q we'll known
hall in Maine. He arrived at the door
unattended and inquired for the man
ager. He was informed that he was
within, but could not be disturbed, as
the lecture was about to commence.
"Can | go in and speak to him?" he
humbly asked of the highly important
ticket-taker.
"Yes, if you have got half dollar"
Tilton produced the coin and passed
into the hall to listen to his own lecture
He enjoyed the joke much, and said it
was good lecture and we'll worth the
price OF admlttance.
An Uncommon Sight.
What means this budding crowd, this jam
ming mass
That blocks the street and will not let me
pass!
Has some disaster fall'n, some one been shot,
That all the people hurry to this spot.
Has some one suddenly been stricken ill.,
Or has some scamp been tapping some ones
tilli
Pray can you tell what sight uncommon
draws
These eager people here' All! there's the
cause.
IT'S not an accident, nor yet scamp;
'Tis but workman cleaning street lamp.
Not All OF Us.
Tho scripture truly says that we are
fearfully and wonderfully made" re-
marked dear little lord, as he gaZed
at John l.. Sullivan.
"What do you mean by we?" gruf1ly
demanded the great man. Il don see
nothin' fearful about YOU"
The Girl With the Jersey.
You can sing of the maid
Who, in faultless attire,
Rides out in her curtained coupe;
Her robes are exqusitely fashioned by
Worth
At eve they are decollette;
But i, l will sing of a maiden more fair,
More innocent, too, opine;
You can choose from society's crust, if yor
will,
But the girl with the jersey is mine.
! know her by all that is good, kind and true
This modest young maiden name;
I've walked with her, talked with her,
Danced with her, too,
And found that my heart was afame;
I've written her letters and small billet-doux
Revealing my love in each line;
You can drink to your slim, satin-bodiceS
gazelle
But the girl with the jersey is mine
Glad He Took IL Back.
Chicago Journal: "Do you mean I,
Omaha daily bee., 1888-02-26

OF gravitation are successfully over
come there will still remain, says late
scientific authority, the difficulty of
maintaining balance-'
''Well, at all events" exclaimed the
youth, I've got a pretty fair balance in
the savings bank, and l want you to be
my wife. There!'
We'll, James, since you put in that
light. /"
Let the curtain fall.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-02-26
Tab Dote Couldn't be Fooled With.

Chicago Mail: A waiter In the Palmer
house cafe-a colored man in conven-
tional attire-handed a patron a table
d'hote bill The gentleman didn't care
for the card dinner and selected what
he wanted. "You don't keer for de tab
dote dinnah, den, sah?" said the waiter.
81 told you what 1 wanted," returned
the gentleman. "You want dat off de
sab de dote bill?" queried the darky.
81 don't care; suppose so; any way so
that get it, well, sab" replied the
waiter, ''ef you want it off de tab de dote
you has to have it all; tab dote can't be
selected from, sah; tab dote is French,
and means de whole hog, sah."
Oh! Solitude, Where are Thy Charms?
Now the solitary oyster,
Torn from his shelly cloister,
Transported from his cozy home in oceans
bed afar,
New loneliness enduring,
He serves as bait alluring,
In a milk and-water fish pond at the giddy
church baZaar
Omaha daily bee., 1888-02-26
Another Insult.

Another Insult.
Detroit Free Press.
"Why toss your heads"
He said
To the maiden fair
With auburn hair.
Fiercely her bright eyes cleaned,
Red as her hair she grew;
III white hoss' younn
She screamed,
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-11-21
THE SAVAGE WAY.
How the Indian Treats an 1njury-OId
Time Methods.

The savage is emphatically the child Of ma.
ture. He lives close to nature, his only edu-
cat on is gained in natures school.
When the Indian receives an injury, he
does not seek cure in mineral poisons, but
binds on the simple leaf, administers the herb.
recovery.
Our rugged ancestors, who pierced the
wilderness, built their uncouth but comforta-
bic Log Cabins and started the clearings in
the woods, which in time became the broad,
fertile fields of the modern farmer, found in
roots and herbs that lay close at hand na-
ture's potent remedies for all their common
ailments. 1t was only in very serious cases
they sent for old "saddle-bags' with his
physic, which quite as often killed as cured.
1atter-day society has wandered too far
away from nature, in every way, for it's own
good Our grandfathers and grandmothers
lived wholesomer, purer, better, healthier,
more natural lives than We do. Their minds
were not filled with noxious isms, nor their
bodies saturated with poisonous drugs
Is it not time to make change, to return
to the simple vegetable preparations Of our
grandmothers which contained Nsse power
and potency of nature as rensGdh agents,
and in all the ordinary ailments were etf1ca-
cions at least harmlessl
The proprietors of Warmers Log Cabin
remedies have thought so, and have put on
the market number Of these pure vegetable
preparations, made from formulas secured
after patient searching into the annals of the
past so that those who want them need not
be without them.
Among these Log Cabin remedies will be
found LOG Cabin sarsaparilla," for the
blood: LOG Cabin hops aud buchu remedy"
tonic and stomach remedy; Log Cabin
cough and consumption remedy" LOG
Cabin hair tonic" for strengthening and re-
newing the hair: "Log Cabin extract for
both external and internal application; Log
Cabin liver pills." "Log Cabin rose cream :"
an old but effective remedy for catarrh, and
"Log Cabin plasters." All these remedies
are carefully prepared from recipes which
were found, after long investigation, to have
been those most successfully used by our
grandmothers of rye olden time.n They are
the simple, vegetable. efflcacious remedies OF
Log Cabin days.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-11-21
Value of the Pearl Fisheries.

Never have pearls been more popular
or commanded such high prices as during
the past ten years. At present nothing
is considered IN better taste than the
pearl. on account of its purity and sub
dued beauty. This unusual demand has
had the effect of greatly stimulating the
search for them, especially on the west
coast of Australia, at Thursday Island,
the Sooloo Archipelago, il Ceylon and
the Persian Gulf, and also along the
coast of Lower California. The demand
included pearls of all colors except the
inferior yellow. The fine black pearls
of Lower California have been in great
request, single ones bringing as much as
$4,000. With these black pearls are
found many beautiful gray and grayish-
brown pearls. The different fisheries
of the world produce fully $1,000, 600
worth annually, of which Lower Cali
fornia fisheries produce probably one
sixth. Kentucky, Tennessee and Iexas
have given US over $40, 600 worth OF
pearls per annum; their remarkable
fresh water pearls, especially the pink!
ones, which are unrivaled for delicacy OF
tint. The finding of two bushes OF
these in the Turner group of mounds IN
the Little Miami Valley, Ohio, by FRO,
fessor F.. w. Putnam, gives us a 1aint
idea Of how plentiful they were before
the arrival of the Europeans. But with
the last five years many of the fancy
colored pearls have received their variety
of color not from nature, but by artlti'
cial means.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-11-21
Cow Pea Vine as Fertilizer.

While my trees were small, says cor
respondent of the Rural Mo Yorker. /
commenced planting peas and turning
the vines under while green. 1t took
but one or two trials to satisfy me that
the cost was greater than the benefit re-
ceived. then tried planting later, al
lowing the vines to mature and die upon
the ground. This proved much more
satisfactory, as the peas gathered paid
for seed and labor, while the land was
left in much better condition. About
this time secnHed seed Of the CeR eh-PEseetas pea,
which continued to use until the trees
were too large to permit of its being
grown successfully. The method fol-
lowed was to keep the ground
thoroughly cultivated until about the
first of June, then mark off in checks
three feet each way. When the ground
is thoroughly moist, plant two seeds in
each check, allowing but one plant to
the hill when we'll established. This
pea would cover the ground if planted
twice distance apart. The advantage of
close planting is that they will cover the
ground in half the time, saving much la
Dor in keeping the ground clean until
the vines cover it. By planting in checks
the cultivator or sweep can be run both
ways, leaving but little to lie done with
the hoe. If the ground is kept clean uu-
. til the vines cover it, very little grass or
weeds will grow, the pea-vines forming a
dense mass of vegetation, and taking the
best of care of the grove until the fol-
lowing February, when the soil will be
found soft and mellow, and the vines
sufficiently decayed to break up easily
with the cultivator or plough. 1t will
be necessary to 60 over the grove once
each week to keep the vines of the
orange trees. But little seed will be
produced, enough. however, to in part
pay the expense of planting.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-11-21
Farm and Garden Notes.
10 quarters cause roup.

Damp quarters cause roup.
Never sort apples when once picked.
White or light. colored fowls bring the
best price.
Eternal vigilance is the price of gilt
edge poultry.
Women make the most successful
poultry raisers.
Six poor apples will affect the grade
of an entire barrel.
On the farm, as elsewhere, misfortune
is the shadow of carelessness.
The laurel needs special sPeciaf eeare TO induce
It to grow away from its native wilds.
To obtain the best results plant rhu-
barb not nearer than three feet apart each
way.
A good picture of folly would be q
man burning the straw his land had
grown.
Lime, gravel ar d bones should always
be kept where the fowls can easily get all
they wish.
Do not storm and fret. Be quiet and
kind, and the horse will be so too, in
most cases.
1t is noticeable that the large majority
of vicious horses are handled by bad
tempered men.
Sulphate of iron is reported as the
most popular of all remedies in France
against mildew.
Give the horses large stall and good
bed at night. It's important that they
lie down to rest,
Remove the seeds when feeding pump
kins to COWS. They do harm by acting
as strong diuretic.
! See that the drinking vessels are
washed out clean daily, and kept filled
with fresh, pure water.
! If you have nothing to exhibit at the
i fair, there is something wrong about
your system of farming.
Potatoes should be we'll dried before
storing, that they might not gather
moisture sufficient to decay easily.
i Farmers children acquire knowledge
of botany easily, being much among the
flowers, and they will lind the knowledge
useful later.
A leading apiarisL Of Canada thinks
that granulated sugar should be used fol
feeding bees, as 1t is safer than to risk
feeding cheap sugar.
The common red clover is better than
the large for general purposes. The lat
ter is difficult to cure, makes coarser
hay and is more apt to become musty.
The farmer of to-day with brains and
ambition to make his farm pay must cleal
his mind of cobwebs and his back o.
moss. He must read as we'll as labor
Plant your trees, vines, etc., this fall
DO not postpone the work until spring
If you can not possibly plant this fall!
get the trees now and heel in unit
spring.
Plant grape vines, raspberry, black
berry, currant and all kinds OF trees from
October / to December 1.-THE earlier the
better. Notice how much greater growth
they will make next season than those
planted next spring.