Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1888-10-24
MRS. GUFFIN ), TIE SECOND.
She Tells About Obadiah's Turkey
Dinner.
Says obadiah to me, saws he

standing there, Mrs. Gufins. the second, on
most the same boards Ia stood on to cut
out the FIRST Mrs. Clifius' last new gray
meriuo. But sich is tate.
used To say Ia never marry a widower.
or homely, middhng-aged man, and Ia
done both, aud didn't repent it. But had
manly NAKED for ten years, and got over
my romantical ideas, and valued the more
substantial qualities in man, such as
keeping plenty of kindlings split, and never
letting the -four barrel get low, and putting
a patent pump in the kitchen.
You can't manty-malxe without getting to
know the character of the folks of these
neighborhoods where unto you air called by
Providence; and I'd heerd of Obadiah Cuff
fins.
The fust Mrs. Gufiins never had to turn
her black silks, nor to wear last winter 8
bonnit. Raislns was in her stOre-closet by
the box, and all that heart could wish wuz
hern, except that she enjoyed poor health,
which carried her Off at last to reside
amongst the cherubims aud seraphums,
whore there's no more sick headaches.
Obadiah missed the first Mrs. Gufins very
much indeed. Why, I would never hev he'd
any body that didn't lament their late de-
ceased partner l should expect to be treat
cd so myself when my time came
never objected to him recruiting to his
tender rememberies when he was calm on
me- He called Sunday evenings, and where
l boarded the young folks was all Iaar-
ried, so they let US hev the parlor, eff I'd
buy the kerosene fur the best lamp Our
counting was short and sweet. He called
four times. The first time we sat on Two
chairs each side the CRATE, and told each
other about the weather and SIGH The
second time he brought his chair around to
mine, and said he felt kinder lonesome over
there by himself. The third time he put his
arm about my waist and said:
"How good your frocks fita"
And the fourth time, he said:
Martha Maria Packenham. you've seen
my house, and you know Jest about what
I'm worth. Pm good provider, eff say 1t
myself Don't you think it would be moro
TO your interest fur tn change the wild and
wandering life of manty-maker fur the
more sedentary one of Missus Guffns! Eff
SO, let US set the day and get married be-
fore planting time comes on, so that we kin
go of somewhere on "a tower.''
Twas going TO ask week to think about
| it, for 1 don't believe in letting man think
you are jumping at him; but reflected that
the Widder Bush wanted him, and her
place was next to his, and there was no use
I OF giving her a chance, so / said
1don't know but what you're right, Mr..
! Guffins:" and calculated how long it would
take me to get pearl-gray silk made up,
, and set the day according.
And that is how came to be Mrs. Guffins
| the second, and Obadiah talking to me about
q turkey dinner.
martha Maria,' said he, Friday is my
birthday, and I'd like to hev a turkey din
ner. Roast turkey stuffed, cranberry sars,
.fafn
And says 1
obadiah, you shill have a good one Not
so good as the first Mrs. Guffins might hev
cooked, but as good as kin DO it.n
Eff there was any thing Of that sort to be
said, meant to say it myself, and hev the
credit Of it. It's the safest plan I con-
Guided 10 put little brandy in the mince
meat. The brandy was down cellar, and
had the keys in my pocket.
When first came had noticed that Oba-
diah went down 10 take a look at the cellar
kinder often, and when ! followed him
found out why. The demmyjohns was
down there. Now a good pervider must
hcv some dimmyjohns Ia ease of sickness
and fur cooking. but they don't need TO be
called on to ask how they be very often; sc
! locked up the cellar and put the KEYS on
I my ring, aud if Obadiah had cramps or any
thing, all he had TO do was to tell me, and |
/ tended to it. But, as i said, decided u
( put some brandy in the mince meat, and ]
/ went down TO get it. The key wouldn't
/ turn, l rememberize, until l took it off the
/ ring. The others sort of weighed it down
Well, got suficiency, and l fixed my
pies and baked EN-, SOS 10 warm up when
needed. And on the birthday morning
/ Obadiah went out TO see to picking the
1 peaches, promising TO come in at eleven
and dress, for I'd asked company. A
| turkey dinner is too much for twt, and it
takes company TO keep up any day much.
The dinner was most cooked and the best
set on, and eleven had come, and still Oba-
| dia wasn't in. He had orter of shaved, too
/ felt fidgetty. A sort of presentiment tool
/ me like u stitch in the side. But went VI
| to change my dress: and when / put the
/ keys into the other pocket found I'd left
/ the cellar key in the door.
Run down and lock mp, and bring it to
me,'' 1 said TO Charity Piggott, my help.
/ She did IT. and came back shivering.
8 What's the maJJcr!'' SEE l.
/ Well, if you must know, Mrs. Guffins,
/ SCI she, - that cellar skeers me. l Away:
/ expect to see spooks down there"
50 You're born idiot said l.
Obadiah hadn't come in yet, and it seemed
as if he would be prompt, if he could, wher
| he had wanted turkey dinner so bad anC
/ folks was coming.
! / tried To think that nothing could hap
/ pen picking peaches. You didn't climb VI
/ like you did into cherry trees, and yoT
couldn't be throwed like you might riding
the mower, nor they didn't keep the bulls in
the peach orchard; still, things do happen
and as the folks got there, Deacon Tillbury
and his wife, and Cousin Miranda and heI
darter, and Moses Robins that keeps the
| Sunday-school ibr'y and recites so lovely,
had to out with it
a. guess you think I'm actin sort OF
! queer" SEE /, but I've got little appre
hensible about my pardner. He had orter
been in long ago. and Charity Higgot cant
find him in the peach orchard, and I've
| got to go and look myself, ct you'll excuse
me.n
"rn go, Mrs. Guffins," says Moses Rob
ms. 'Pn fetch him along.n
So Moses went He went, and he stayed;
but he came back without Obadiah.
l can't spin this here tale of horror out
I forever, even if my nerves could stand it;
so, 70 cut a long story short. it wasn't long
before every body was out lool1ini You
could hear boots aud howis OF obadiah
Guhllsi Obadiah tiuffinsl where are YOU -
I all over the farm The baskets and the
I picker were a lynn under the tree, but nv
husband warn't novhere They went tc
( the village, the deacon snggestini he nigh;
have gone 10 be shaved, and was awaiflni
his rgrn; bat night came and he wuan't
found
Then 1 made sure he was murdered BY
tralnps aud hid in the woods, aud we uyus
out al night with lanterns and torches
( We draggea the wei. bad then we dragged
the p0ud; aud. when he'd been gone two
DAYS and half. and neither hide nor hair Of