Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1888-03-03
MR.. BIRDS UMBRELLA.
BY y. w. ROBINSON.


Rat-a-tat-a- tat a tat a. tet a -tat-Bangi
There was a pause, and long enough pause
70 give me the impression that / had been
dreaming of earthquakes, or of the lombard
ment of the British museum, or of a volcanic
eruption in Russell square, to convince me
even forcibly that must have been dream
ing, as l sat up in bed, and rubbed my eyes
and listened Then-Bangl bang! bang!-
rat-a-tat-a-tat-a-t -tat-a-tat-a-tat-a- tat - Bang
Yes, there was somebody evidently knock
ing at the street door, hanging by the street
door knocker, and throwing his whole soul
into the instrument-the house was on fire
perhaps, or we were wanted next door at
Brians or lunatic had escaped, and was
clamoring for admittance, straight waistcoat
and all, or else the up stairs dodgers had come
back prenaturely from their visit to
Tunbridge, and were anxious to get in
out of the rain, which was coming down
with q vehemence that was certainly
startling could surmise nothing
more at q moments notice and at 2:30 in the
morning.
We all slept very soundly in No. 10 Prossi-
ter street, Prossiter place, Russell square,
Bloomsbury, for we worked very hard at
No 10. and the house was large one. 1t
was house of many lodgers-parlor floor,
FIRST floor and second foor-and all COM
fortably let, and those dodgers who were at
home were all fast asleep, or else waiting for
me, the poor, weakly proprietor of the es-
tablishment Jane Neild, at your service,
gentle reader, age %, and an orphan with an
establishment on her mind, and a living to
get out of the establishment, to call to the
servants Bridget, able bodied, general, !"
aged 49, and frightful temper, and Sarah,
aged 49, child with a chronic cold and red
nose, but handy as help to Bridget to get
mp and see what was the matter at No. 10, or
with the party outside No. 10 who was
"kicking up such a deuce of a row."
That was the way it was put at last by
Capt. Choppers, my drawing room floor, an
irritable old gentleman-not to say violent
when roused--who came out on the landing
at last in an attire which Bridget told me
afterwards was far from decorous, and began
bawling vociferously up the staircase the
names of each of my maids in turn, conclud-
ing with my own name in a shrek Of sheer
despair.
.'NIiss Neild-here, / SAYS everybody
dead! Miss N-e-e-e-ild!"
'sBless my soul, captain, what is it now!''
cried through the crack in my door.
''Don't you hear that internal noise down
stairs, madam! Who the deuce is it at this
time Of night, who the-what do you say,
MADAME
''rm going to open the window and inquire
unless your
ats no business of mine, Miss Neild,"
bawled the captain. 81 don't expect any
body-rm not going into the drawing room
at this time of night, wsh my cold I'm dis
turbed enough, as it is, through your being
all SO diabolically deaf. l shall leave this
day week, ma'am. There"
And slam went the back drawing room
door, and crick crack went the key in the
ir .scible captains lock- was in my dress
ing room, with a flannel garment, which l
take the liberty here of calling ''muffier," :"
wrapped round my head and shoulders; and,
as went toward the window, trembling,
must say, in every limb, the knocking was
repeated for the third time, and with three
fold vigor, born of the delay and irritation
70 past summonses.
waited until there was silence again, or
nearly silence-for l could distinctly hear
Capt. Choppers loading all his firearms-and
then opened the widow, and peered into the
damp, shiny street, which the wind and rain
had all to themselves, with the exception of
could see was as shiny as the pavement.
"What is itr' 1 inquired; but the wind
whisked my voice into Museum street. and
had to repeat the inquiry in shril falsetto.
The man below paused with his hand to the
knocker again-for he was just going to be-
gin afresh-istened, and then ran down the
stems and stood on the edge of the curbstone,
with his hands behind him, looking up at me
at last could make nothing of him in the
darkness from my point of view.
"What do you want sirT l asked, now
that had secured the attention Of this indi-
vidual "What are you making such noise
for at this time of nightsn -,
"I'm very sorry to disturb you iadyn--
$50 it seems" said, acrimoniously; but he
did not hear me, and perhaps it was MS
well he did not. / have not a reputation for
being severe in my remarks, but then this
was an exceptional proceeding, and deserved
rebuke. a
.sThe fact is, madam, the wind has blown
my umbrella clean ont of my hand into your
area. would not mind so much, he conde-
scended to explain still further, at the top of
his voice, "but it's an umbrella | set great
store by. Besides, it's raining tremend-
ously."
81 really cannot come down at this hour
and get your umbrella l said, severely;
"you must call tomorrow for it."
"Isn't there any one in the house-any man
who can get itf'
'The house is locked up for the night"
"It's such very deep area or would drop
over and get it myself But then don't see
how to get out again. he said.
81 can't help you, sir; am very sorry"
replied, "but can't go down tonight for it. u
81 should be a brute to ask you, ma'am, "
he said, politely now; and here could see
he raised his hat to me; "of course could
not tell who was in the house, or whether ii
might not be easy to get my umbrella which
really value very much, assure you; it's
an umbrella which-but am very sorry to