Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-02-18
The Young Editors VaIedictOry.

Fred Carruth In the Chicago Tribune
In 1879 young man named Lawler came out
to the city OF Roaring Spring (since extincD and
started the Roaring Spring Examiner He follow
ing the usual Gus ON, doomed everything in sight.
beside good many invisible things, endangering
his chances Of salvation dozen times In every issue
by his disregard for the truth in referring to his
fellow Citizens and made paper generally which
they ought to have appreciated, but didn't He
struggled Tor year and decided to give 1t up es.
pecially as mortgage was being foreclosed on his
law allowed Below is AN extract from his valedic-
tory he walking out of town the night before it
appeared and leaving directions for the boy to put
the papers In the pOSt-Oflicc next morning:
I'VE have worked pretty hard to please the
moss backs and 1aynawkers living Ia Roaring
Spr1Lg, but 1t seems they don't want to be pleased
1--WE referred TO the Western Hotel as .sumDtu
Gus and elegant In all its appointments the same
week we were carried out or its dining room In
sensible under the influence OF its tenth-rate
canned goods and poisonous coffee.
1--WE have spoken OF old man Wilktn as our seffi-
Gent and scholarly justice OF the peace while at
the very time we were writing the words the Old
SOaker was under our office drunk and bumpiny
MS head against the floor, having crawled there
sieepingcar moving forty miles an hour.
I'VE nave lied about the prospect for a railroad
chances that NOah's ark would sail through ;own
than that train OF cars would ever get In hearing
distance
ave have howled about the astonishing fertility
OF the SOIL near Roaring Spring in the same issue
that we should have recorded the fact that The
only man who ever took The Examiner and paid
lor IL mad just starved out trying to raise hen
grass.
ave wrote glowing account OF a visit to our
'well-Du1lt and cOmmodiOus court house. when the
truth Is that stray cow came out or the front
door OF IL ana tried TO hook Us over the fence when
we first went up to il.
ave noticed the cause for pardOna able nr,da
which we had In the fine condition OF our streets
the same day we had a good pair OF boots pulled
on 6y the mud while going to the post-olrice.
elDnppf a sSrIn
pOrtunitles that exist here for settlers when we
knew that the only settler who arrived here this
cleaned out OF his money In poker game by Biii
Kuhn, town clerk. and Dan Woody, county COM
''We told Of our sparkling drinking water COO,
and delicious TO the TASTE when we knew that
there was 30 much alkal In IL that in washing our
type with 1t It had actually eaten the tails of the
ave spoke OF our winter climate as being .clear
and dry, rendering 1t quite impossible to feel the
cold,' when only month before the doctor had
anputated Two OF our toes where we had inadyer-
tently got our foot over a rat.hole in the floor
ave found time to write lengthy article on our
beautiful spring weather, with just enough breeze
TO purify the air and make 1t hea!thfuI,' even il
we were kept pretty busy that week in sorting our
type, which had been pied by the ONCE being
blown away and scattered ever half the county
The week we were sunst5uck we wrote poem
Judge Of Probate DOugherty had the jim5ams and
set the school house afre IN the night we laid it
when Nick Daggett and his wife tried to poison
each other we shouted about the arsenic In the
wallpaper; the Packard family froze to death in
blizzard and we wept over the fact that cOnsump-
ton should thus enter O family without warning
and sweep away a whole household; a cyclone
killed six and we sobbed over that fell DESTROYER
eptlept1c hts, contracted in the army drinking
alkalt water hurried dozen to an untliney grave
and In every case we bowed our head and through
our sObS mOaned out: Another good citizen killed
IN runaway! That's the way we've been stand
ing up for you but we are going to stop. This is
beats in Roaring Spring Will this evening cast
their eyes through the gathering darkness they
Will see TALL brainy young man formerly en-
pass out from them through the cleaning on the
trOt. Goodbye. IL Is our earnest hope that we
may not meet on a better shore; we couldn't m et
on worse one."