The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1888-06-09
Mr.. AND MRS. BowsER.

theater tonight" said Mr.. Bowser a
he left the house the other noon, ''and
you can be ready for an evening out {"
/ "And are you going?"
Certainly. Is there anything SO
very strange in my going to the the
aterP"
But you never 60. you know. You
havn't been for years"
Suppose havn'tP"
"Pm-Pm afraid you won't like ftp"
'Oh. you are? Well, you needn' t
worry yourself I don't suppose l shall
like it. but I'm going just the same"
And you won't get vexsd over any
:hingP" persisted
Mrs. Bowser are you talking to me
! or to that hall-tree?" he exclaimed. Il
think know enough to go to theater
and behave rs other people do. If 1
don't I'll submit to be thrown OUT
1t was with fear and trembling that
| left the house that evening. Mr..
BOwser is very odd in some of his
ideas, and / saw the shadow of coming
trouble. We had seats at the end of
row. and we had just got comfortably
settled, and the curtain was about to go
up. when nine or ten people arrived
to take seats beyond us.
"Ehp What's this?' queried Mr..
Bowser to the first, who was very fat
man. Don't you know that this play
opens at 8 o'clock?'
Suppose it does?" was the surly
reply.
Then suppose you and ali the rest
OF this mob get here in decent season!
No one but bullet-headed ignoramus
would come jambing in here at this
hourr'
Iquieted Mr.. Bowser down q little
by telling him that it was the custom
OF the theater, and that people who
cant pay street car fare. or who have
to dodge and twist to avoid creditors,
always came in late. but it wasn't five
minutes before couple behind us be-
gan talking in loud voice and he
turned on them with:
DO You people take this place for
saw-m.llp"
mo. SIR" CURLY replied the young
man, who had strong smell of horse
about his clothes.
"Then stop that noise!''
1quieted Mr.. Bowser again by telling
him that it was the custom of the thea
ter. and that certain per cent. of peo-
pie always came to visit instead of to
see. and got him halfway through the
first act before he had another erup-
ton. Then man behind us began to
hack and cough in the most forlorn
way, and Mr.. Bowser turned on him
with:
did you have that cough before you
came in herep"
Eyes, SIR"
':And you knew you'd keep your in
fernal racket going on all through the
playp"
Il did,"
And You didn't care a copper for
other peoples righ!s?"
mo, SIR
"Well, sized you up for hog half
an hour ago and I'd give $50 to be out
of here and have my hands on 20 for
five minutes"
! got one of Mr. Bowser's hands and
hung on to him while told him that
/ had sat in theater time after time
when a dozen men were blowing their
noses. a dozen more hawking every
two minutes, and third dozen blow
ing their whisky breaths about. He
was all right until the act closed. Then
the fat man and two others in row
got up to go out and gulp down glass
of beer in the nearest saloon.
'Are you sick. or is the place on
fire. that you must crowd outP asked |
Mr. Bowser.
"None O. your businessr' replied the
fat man.
well, you pass here if you can!'
l told Mr.. Bowser that it was
the custom in every theater for every
loafer to bob up and rush out for his |
beer or whisky at the end of every |
act. no m after how many children he
stopped on. but he repl led:
well. we'll begin to break that
custom up right here and nowr'
Ipleeded with him to let the poor
fellows out. 1t had been at least three
quarters of an hour since any of them
had had glass of beer. and if they
were deprived of it much longer no
one could predict the consequence s,
but not one of them got out at our
end of the row. I was thankful
woman when the curtain went up on
The second act. For about ten minutes
Mr.. Bowser settled himself down and
seemed to take comfort, and then he
observed that a pimple face d
loafer in the second row ahead was
turning around to stare me out of
do you know the villainp" he
asked.
Never saw him before"
Then why does he look at you in
that manner?'
tried to explain to him that it was
n custom of the theater, and something
hat every lady had to endure, but he
said he'd lay for that man and lick him
4 he had to live thousand years to