Sacramento daily record-union., 1888-09-08

look dwelt on me-on me, whose Ittleness
! and worthlessness swept with crushing and
| ever recurrent memory over every record
of this vain earth life.
Then quietly and gently the hand was
. Withdrawn. My pulsing heart grew still.
| A voice came to me, sweeter than all
music | had ever heard, Rise" it said
rise and follow me-"
was conscious of no effort, nothing be-
yond mere acquiescence of will but sud-
denly seemed lifted up, and floating free
as air, and buoyant with new and exquis-
ite sense of life above that earthly figure
of myself, lying pale and motionless ON its
deathbed. | seemed to be poised above its
semblance and to take in with wondering
gaze the shrunken features, the gray hues
of death, the ashen lips, the feebly hutter-
ing pulse.
Then the voice spoke again, and, obey
ing it, | found myself before massive
wardrobe at the further end of the room,
and on the shelf before me lay the casket
with those fatal letters. As | gazed at it,
it opened, and | saw the well-known hand,
and seemed to read once more the passion
ate words of love that had been so fatally
sweet, that had almost, almost-oh, thank
God not quite-taught me forgetfulness of
duty, honor, purity; all save itself and its
passionate pleas and selfish allurements.
Involuntarily, so it seemed, l tried to
grasp that fatal packet; the one desire for
safety, for ooncealment, for the preserva-
tion Of my poor shreds Of dignity and
honor alone pre-cminent. But again /
heard the voice, and it stayed the impulse,
and trembling and wondering, / obeyed
its will "Listen," it said, for am per-
mitted TO offer you one chance of expi-
ating your folly and your sin. You may
leave this earth life, the hypoerite you
know yourself; you may stand in your
husbands sight the cold and pure and
stainless being he has worshiped with all
his great trusting heart For his noble
ness far exceeds your worth as the eternal
love exceeds the finite. He believes in
yon. Will you leave him in that belief or
will you take his scorn and condemnation
as you Just punishment, and in humility
and pain take up again the burden of years
that you have spent in folly and vanity?
The choice is yours. Yet let me warn
you that even as every human sin is
known to the soul that commits it. SO by
that soul is it Judged and punished and
expiated This is the law of the Eternal,
this is the secret of every life that
lives, and which it must learn and from
which it cannot escape. What you see on
yonder bed is but the poor, plastic, perish
ing shell to which you were lent for brief
space. That which is yourself inhabits it
no longer. See how poor a thing it is
Where is its beauty, its grace, its charm,
that won for you the feeble impotent
praise of humanity itself? Gone Gone
like the breath on mirror, the ripple on
a lake, the breeze that sighs and is not.
And for that-for that frail, perishable
thing you have held that life is all i'm
portant For that you have schemed and
planned and decked yourself in gay ap-
parel and costly gems; for that you have
sinned, for that you have forgotten your
Master and your Creator. For that-and
its poor shred of conventional integrity
you would even now close your life record
with sin-the sin of deceit. There is
your casket. Take it if you will. There
kneels the man you have wronged. Leave
him to his self-deception. Leave him and
take with you the remorse that is Gods
only hell-the painful, humiliating sense
of what you are, and from which you can
not escape Leave him thus and return to
yonder she'll, and with your last breath be
honest to that better nature which God
has given every mortal. Confess your
wrong-doing. Yea, even at the cost of
his long wasted love, and the gain of his
scorn and contempt, make your expiation."
listened. 1t seemed to me that | cow
cred and trembled beneath those radiant
eyes, that a strange sense of nakedness
and coldneSs and small and pitiful mean
ness was all of which | was conscious at
that moment. No excuse offered itself.
No platitudes and pretty sophistries such
as in my gay worldly hours | had heard
and used thousand times. No extenua-
tion of a lonely life, an uncongenial home,
temperament and nature misunderstood,
such as many women shield their actions
with, while they all too eagerly palter
with temptation, lacking the moral cour-
age to speak of sin as it is, Of themselves
as they are No, plain and clear as light
itself saw my folly and read my condem-
nation, and suddenly wave of intense
and terrible agony seemed to overwhelm
what was sentient and reasonable within
me- and in bitter grief 1 cried out, 'Let
me return! | will confess, | will be
honest, cost what it may"
| Ny eyes opened A mist seemed to
clear from nv brain. Feebly | moved