Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1888-12-29
OLD MAN puNDER.
Although Not Political Success, He Is
Still an American Citizen.

We'll! Well. But / thought you
we're in Germany by this timer' ex-
claimed Sergeant Bendall, as Carl Dun
der entered the Woodbridge street
police station yesterday.
"No, | doan' go. Maybe dere vhas
some flies on me-maype not"
But you were discouraged the last
time you were here; you had tried pol
itics and got left. Perhaps you have
struck something else?'
dot vhas it, und shall shtay right
here l learn some new tricks, und
hat some chances to speculate"
Tell me about it, said the SER
geant, as he settled down in his chair.
MAYBE you doan' like to hear from
some greenhorns" replied Mr.. Dunder
| with an injured look. If vhas green
ash grass und some cows feed on me,
better go homee"
Come, go ahead. What new tricks
have you got?'
"Vhell, sergeant said the old man
as he melted slowly, "dot trick l
shpeak of vhas to wait until more ash
ten loafers vhas in my place, schwear-
ing und splitting und hugging the
stove, und den put in a shtick of wood
NIT some powder in it und blow EN-
oop. You neafer saw such schumping
und running in your life. 1t vhas
enough to kill you init laughing. A
stranger gifts me dot trick for two
glasses of beer"
You blow up the loafers?"
dot vhas it
'But you blow up the stove, too, and
perhaps your saloon. Can you afford
to buy new stove every time you want
| to play the trick?"
"Eh? Does der stoaf 60, blow up,
too?''
"Of course"
HIN! doan' think of dot pefore.
OF course der stoaf vhas blown oop init
der loafers, und maybe der house vhas
on fire."
What else?"
''Vhell, / figure ON some canary
birds. can buy 'em in Shermany for
| two Shllllngs apiece.
Yes"
"Und der price here vhas two dol
lar"
Exactly"
"If ! buys one million der profit
vhas oafer million und half dollars" "
al see. You want agents here and
| in Germany, and there is the cost of
transportation, the loss by death, and
YOU must find a million buyers. Splen-
did scheme, Mr. Dunder! suppose
you'll buy steamer to ship by?'
HIM! get dot speculation for two
| dollars in cash. Was he wrong?"
"Oh no; go right ahead. Any thing
else?n
What if I buy oop all der oranges
in der country for a million dollars?"
! Then you could advance prices
fifty per cent. and make heap OF
money"
"Shust So / vhas glad you see 1t
like me. Dot scheme cost me only
tree dollar"
But where is the million dollars to
buy WITH"
Him, dots SO. Oh! l remember
now. Ivhas to gif my note for one
year. Dot makes her all satisfactory.
! What else?H
"Vhell, goes in der railroad PEGS
ness, guess"
Howl
"In Mexico. II we build one hun
dred miles OF railroad we get two mil
! lion acres OF land. Dot land vas
worth twenty million dollar, und der
! income OF der road vas fife millions
year. Here was der figures like some
| grease. Dot pointer cost me two dol
! lar"
splendid idea. Mr.. Dunder, why
don't you buy the City Hall for 500, 600
and sell it back to the city for half
million?"
"By Shorge! but dot was excellent!
! 1t was a wonder | doan' think OF dot
pefore!"
And, say. you could buy up forty
steamboats, this fall for $4,000 apiece
and sell them next spring for double
the money!
"Donder und bitten, but you vas
sharp man, sergeant! l doan' know
you pefore. Shake my hand. How
much shall pay you?"
20, that's all right. Mr.. Dunder.
You can always have my advice free.
"Und when make two hoonered mil
lion dollars l gif you der best bank in
Detroit for present. Goodbye, SER
oeant, l see you quicker again ven
AZ a millionaire. "--DetrOH Free Press.