The Hot Springs star. (Hot Spings [Hot Springs], Dakota [Dakota Territory, i.e. S.D.]) 1886-189?, 1888-08-10
WIT AND

Fond mOther-OO yOu like babies,
Mr.. CrustvP Crusty-Er-yes; when
they're grown u~p.-Judgc.
A man who doesn't know anythingis
sure to tell il the first chance hcgets.-
Shoe ard Leather Reporter.
When q man in a barr0om talks loud
and says he is u gentleman, nO other
testimony is needed.-Ncw Orleans
Rcayune.
"Fetter the prisoner!" commanded
the officer. at is the irony Of fate.r
murmurcd tho culpr;t.- FfWsjurg
Chronicle.
Tho hardest of all church debts to
get rid ut Is the spiritual mortgage
held by some powerful predecessor
Syracuse Grsstiam Advocan.
schiller before composing, always
put his fe pcold water. A good
many mol lodern writers ought to
put their heads in.-Burlington FIRES
Press.
Gilded youth-"I want some pants,
Mr.. Tighttit. Have You anything in
checksp" Tailor (thinking Of an &C.
count overdue)-"JYes; have youP"-
Judge.
Chicago little girl!-"Mamma, is nv
new papa an editor?" Chicago mani.
ma-"Ycs. Gertrude" Chicago little
girl-''Mamma, las he come 10 stayp"
Judge.
Politics may take q little and obscure
MAJ and make him big. 1t has been
known to take n big man, step on him.
and leave him sinall.-Ncw Orleans
Rcayunc.
A mans reputation for wisdom does
not depend one-half SO much upon his
knowledge as it does upon the skill he
has acquired for conccaling his ignor-
understandable journal.
Magistrate Ito orisoncr)-I see that
you lost several teeth in the fight.
Prisoner-No, your Honor. l didn't ex-
actly lose'em M; they We're Knocked down
my throat.-Ncw York SIN.
First cabby-Them blokcs at the
court house don't seem to be gittin'
along fast tryin' that Doodle Alderman,
Second cabbec-Mcbbee they've been
paid by the hour.-1csas Sitings.
Surprised damc-What? And o
have refused MI. Dc(;oode? Thought
you liked him. Lovely daughter-I
did. bu. none of the other girls seemed
to care u snap for him.-Omaha World.
Obser 1ant youth-Mothcr, l guess /
was Oh the Oldest street in the city to-
day. Mothcr-What makes you think
so? Observant youth-Because they
called it "Cllcstnut ."-LoWcN Citizen.
An exchange says that "there is
something about Strawberries to make
II happy" 1t would be good advice,
then, to recommend u man to .sIo.
berry thy surrOw."@IOnkers States.
man.
New Minister (who doesn't know
that the late lamentcd died of dynam-
itel: "And did your husband die in
peace. Mrs. Bcntly" Mrs. Bcntly
with u sob): .sN-no, sir; he died in
pieces Epoch
George" she said, Mt the races,
sswhat is meant by u true lover of horse
racingY" IA true lover of horse rae.
ing" explained George, lis the nan
who can catch u ten-to-one chance."-
NcW York. Sun.
1t is now that the dcnizen of the CITY
leaves his cool city home and seeks an
opportunity to r~usticatc where he can
communicate with nature-tlrouwli his
intcrpreter-black flies and mosquitoes.
Augusta (lNc.) Journal.
He-Why, it is growing gate dark!
You can hardly distinguish the people
ut the hotel. Shc-And rather cool.
ought to have something around me.
H., /,vsNl, an fn,N,s0s,,, r. a.
arm) -That's so.-Lyc.
Anxious father-You are of are now.
and l want to give you u little pointed
advice as to how to keep money. You
- Mattcr-of-fact son-But wouldn't
it he proper to first advise me how to
set it?-Hmper's Magazinc.
by the bye, l wish you would get
me q card for the Duchess of Belu-
morriss' dance" "I'll try. But you'll
have to get a costume from her, or
a bonnet, or something. as she only
asks her customers. "--London Punch.
"You women are the greatestw ex-
claimed Fogg. ..You'll tramp all over
town just for samples to make a crazy
quilt" s'Ycs," replied Mrs. F., quietly,
"and the samples the men gather
through the day make a crazy-head."
-Boston Transcript.
s.Do you realize the state you are
imp" said Mrs. Blood as the tired Col
oncl seated himself aud tried to draw
his boots of. .tSliert'nly m'dear," re-
spondcd the Colonel. "any one wis
half an (hic) eye could sliee I'm in
Shtatc of kentucky."-EpOch.
Mrs. Wecply--O. Henry, Henry.
reeling home three nights in the week
like You dop Mr.. W.-(Hic) Wy, M
love, I'd (Ilic) think you must be get
tin y liquor (hic) same placesh VI
husban' doesh.-W Washington Critic.
A ..swcct girl graduate wrote her
essay in two hours, but she has EN-
ployed six days on her graduating
dress, and it is not finished vet. And
/ who can blame her? The graduating
dress receives much more criticism
than the graduating essay. -Norristown
Herald.
"See here, my FRIEND" said a farmer
to Il tramp. '.yOu've Icen lynn in the
shade Of that fence for ovcr thirteen
hours. Amt it bout time to move on?'
.If you say so,n replied the tramp,
struggling TO his feet. IL s'pose it is.
I'm only tryin' to make. my shoes last
as long as possible."-Iyme.
She had promised to be a sister to
him. He thanked her coldly, but SAID
that he already had five sisters. ..Whl
Mr.. Sampson said the girl. .Ithoughi
You were an only child" II am." h.