The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-04
.....pARaAss1Na soMNAMRuLIsM

EMBARRASSING SOMNAMBULlSM.
san Francisco Bachelor Finds His
APARTMENT Occupied by Sleep
walker
From the Alta California.
There can be no doubt that people who
..oll, in their sleep are not desirable guests
81 have in boarding house. They are LA
ble 10 create strange Commissions and disa-
,raeahle dilemmas, Up Oh Suffer street is
g large domestic hotel, where families and
.i,cle reople are accommodated with all the
sar7foTts of home. Under these circum-
stances it is generally full of people. Young
r,arried people are especially glad to find III
li'sb an establishment the conveniences of
nriyate life without the trouble and worry
If housekeeping, and bald-headed, middle
aoed gentlemen, who, III their haste to &C
Emulate fortunes, have put off marrying
until IL is too late to wed, gravitate to such
njaces as inevitably as the needle turns to
he north The house in question was full
of such people. But particularly noticeable
among them was a blushing young bride,
whose beauty and grace was the theme of
every tongue, and stout, red-faced dealer
in old iron, whose sleek and shining appear
snce was only equaled by the smooth and
nolished surface of his hairless head In
about the house that his slick and glsten-
ing Uranium was the result of incessant
nolishing with a red bandana handkerchief
which, for time out of mind, has been re-
garded as leading feature of his toilet To
saw that tins gentleman was modest would
only partially convey an idea of his remark
able 'backwardness in coming forward" in
the presence of ladies. The glances of femi-
nine ewes would deepen the carmine hue of
ha
ready to burst from his veins. And a word
addressed to him in the liquid accents which
only feminine voices can assume would
cause every nerve of his body to thrill with
embarrassment.
Imagine the CONSERVATION of this gentle
man when on returning late from his club
one night he found his apartment occupied
bv a lady. The discovery was not made I'M
til he had partially disrobed Coming into
the room, the moon shining brightly
through the window, he began to throw off
his clothes without lighting the gas When
his coat, vest and shoes were removed and
wollen nightcap drawn comfortably over
his head. his suspendeIs dangling gracefully
from his waistband to his heels, and when in
the act of drawing off his trousers, he was
interrupted by gentle voice from the bed,
inquiring:
us that you, dearN
The horror of the situation rose wildly
before his eyes, 1t was as if a lightning
shock had transfixed him. His feet seemed
glued to the floor. If he had had any hair on
his head it would have risen on end. But
the blood, which in the moment of his
overwhelming astonishment had receded to
his heart, now rushed furiously through his
veins and seemed to concentrate in globe
of burning red in the head, from which the
dishevelled nightcap had fallen.
Are you coming to bed, dearw came
again the same gentle voice.
This was too much. With bound like
panther the gentleman leaped to the sofa,
and wheeling it from the corner sprang be-
hind it.
The moon pouring a food of light
through the window seemed to have con-
centrated all its rays on that particular cor
ner. 1t was lit up with the brightness of
day The lady saw the crouching figure,
and noted the obese and ungainly form 1t
was not her husband. Visions of robbers,
murderers and thieves passed through her
mind with the rapidity of lightning With
a bound, as if appraised by a galvanic shock,
she sat up in bed. Then with a shrek as if
all the steam caliopes in the country had
been combined in one fearful diapason, she
gave voice to her alarm. The noise of that
awful shrek drove out of the mans heart
his first alarm, and replaced it with another
fright still more intense.
'FFor heavens sake. woman, be silent!'
he cried from his crouching place in the cor
ner.
The lady only shrieked the louder. From
fright the man was rapidly passing into a
condition of distracted courage
'Be quiet, tell your
''Oh. sir, for PHYS sake don't kill me!n
"Kill you, indeedl Confound it, I'm
not going to hurt you. But get out Of
herel"
This confirmed her worst apprehensions.
A burglar had invaded her room. She
would have fed, but the door was locked,
and her attire was not fitted for a prone
made through the halls.
But she could yell, and she did A sue
cession OF screams filled the room that
would have Weakened the dead. They
reused the house, and the halls rapidly
filed with frightened people. Among them
came the husband of the rosy bride. He
had come home late, and not finding his
spouse asleep, as he expected to, concluded
she was visiting some lady friends, and
quietly tumbled himself into bed and went
to bed. The screams'of the alarmed lady
had even penetrated his dormant senses, and
he came rushing out with the rest.
ooh, heavens, save me" again came
the alarmed entreaty from the bachelors
room.
That's my wifes voice, y he shouted and
has strong shoulders carried the door from
its hinges The sight that met the startled
group of people crowding into the room
was so ludicrous and absurd that in spite o.
sympathy for the terrOr-strickeu lady they
gave way to uncomfortable laughter. The
frightened bachelor had weGged himself be-
tween the wall and the sofa until he looked
rs fat as a pancake, Occasionally he
glanced furtively over the back of it, and
then sunk with groan. The lady was too
busy screaming to think of anything else
until her husbands indignant inquiry;
What the mischief are you doing
hereF' brought her in some degree to her
senses,
"oh, Charley, there's a. burglar in the
roomm
Pm not burglar" cried a smothered
voice from behind the sofa. This is my
room, and | came home tonight and found
woman in it.n
These hysterical explanations tended in
no degres to allay the amusement of the
boarders. But finally an understanding
was reached. The lady was a sleep walker,
and in this condition had wandered into the
room and gone to bed
CLERGYMEN DETECTIVES.
One of Them Falls Back on His Hip
Pocket for Protection in Maine Bar