The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1888-05-23
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

An open letter-O.
A cereal story A lie about big grain
crop.
A "ioint' Iesoluhon-The Chinese
must go.
A oueer MANA man who makes coun-
terleit money.
It's hard to get the hole truth in the
mining districts.
A blind teacher would naturally have
bad pupils. Otac1 Bee.
Society has been likened to pie-We
can dispense with no part so easily as
the upper crust.
"pm on my last lap" as the tomcat
said when he finished a saucer of milk.
-DaRsrUie Breeze.
A Vermont woman broke her jaw, and
her husband facetiously called her the
''ex-spealler. n-B1r'mgt0R Free-Press.
There is something peculiar about
gravity-in the earth it attracts, while
in man it repels. -BiHghamtOa Ledder.
In the West. -She-"Do you over see
finer sunset than that in the Eastl"
He-"No. The sun never sets in the
East. ."-LUc.
"These are my Jewels" quoth t hen,
collecting her chicks. "Of yotN own
setting, too, quacked the duck, as she
waddled away.
A tender ballad just published by
Texas composer, ntitled why Did
They Cremate the Old Hair Sofa -
d mrHe Brsge.
\ citizen who insisted that he could
easily live on one meal a day afterwards
privately explained that he meant oat
meal. Graphic.
'Yes, sir" said Popinjay, emphati-
cally, "Graball is man of limited
means, but unlimited meanness. .n-BRr-
Eagtla Free Pres.
Notwithstanding the fact that Mrs.
Cleveland is perfect lady, it must be
confessed that she gives great many
people the shake. -Ep0ch.
He-'How do you find the oysters,
Miss Smith" She-"They are simply
delicious, and am awfully hungry too. "
He ito waiter)-"Bring another plate OF
crackers -
She had worked the "I'll-be-a-sister-
to-you chestnut on him. Thanks, Miss
smith, " he said, cropping blindly for his
hat. "but have two elder sisters al
ready ."-EPoct.
"And why are you so anxious to learn
French, bobby 3" inquired Featherly, who
was making an evening call. "BecoanS,
| when ma and ster Clara talk about ~
| they always speak in French, and | want
to know what they say. .'-Ao'o Y0ck Sun.
! When cupid darts
Are shot at hearts
"a fact that can't be doubted this is)
Though aiming well
Yet sOo.h TO tell,
Iles always making misses Mrs
boston Courier.
Teacher-"So y&,' o""'t do simple
/ sum in arithmclic2\ let me explain
it to YOU. supposc\ of you have
together forty. eight AZ IS, thirty-two
peaches and sixteen melA 3, what would
each one of you getl' Cholera
| morbus, ~ replied Johnny. Hare Bits.
A profound scientist Of the nineteenth
century living in Boston had smoking
| chimney in his house. After he had
spent nearly Sl0O for various devices to
cure it a ragged tramp came along and
suggested that he build it six inches
/ h 'ghen which was done and the evil
eradicatcd. n ,ro o Free Press.
whats the trouble now" asked a
nervous passenger on "a new Dakota
road as the train aue to sudden halt.
ooh, nothing much, said the brake
man, struggling TO get away, "the
freight ahead Of Us got off the track and
run into the depot, knocking it clear out
o time, and our engineer can't tell Just
where the town site is"
Wall or THE REJECTED,
Alas! And alack, And oh willowl
Aha, And Ohio And ohe.
Oh goodness Dh gracious! Oh mercy!
And also boo-ho0, And heydey
Ah me! And on my And Oh sorrow!
Aud lizew SO Oh griet And oh woe
Wella-dayl Marry Zounis. And confusion!
Moreover, ola dear And heigho!
Iack,a-dayl on thunder, Perditionl
Oh gemui Christmas, Aud sdeath
Great Scott Odds life, Oh distractionl
Hang Ga girl, i am all out Of breath
w j. Henderson, 'A HmPsn