The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-14
BRIGHT BITS.

BANKER HARPER s red necktie is the envy of
all the other inmates Of the Ohio penitentiary.
II was not, however presented him by his de-
positors He merely bought it with their money
Courier journal.
How old are you, Nary" asked Mrs, Blank
of her housemaid.
Well num- I'm just &c, but when I put my
money in the bank told the man | was a great
deal older SOS I'd get more interest on it,
HGrper's Bozdr.
Miss RosELEAF-Is that story true Mr.. Brain
less
Mr.. B.-No: to tell the truth l constructed it
out of my own head.
Miss RI thought it had very weak founda-
tion.-Hd1UdId LCmpOOn.
HAVE you drank anything?
Are you still keeping that diary?
Have you made bet?
Have you paid up the old onesY
Have you sassed your wife's mother?
Have you smoked cigar? Merchant Travel
ler
HUSBAND The photographer is ready to take
Photographer all ready; now look
pleasant
wife before the GENERALITY dear think
you'd better 90 into the other room.-ChicGgO
Tribune.
MA" said Bobby, running into the house,
you said that if did real act of kindness this
afternoon could have piece of pie, and I've
just done one"
quired his mother while he ate the pie. And
Bobby replied between bites: "A cat came into
our back yard and didn't stone it, Epoch.
LOOK at Gen. Black. He's remarkable
man. remarked travelling man, who was dis
cussing politics with an acquaintance.
in what way"
Hes been to Congress three times and isn't
worth $4,000. What do you think of that?"
"Well, should say that he is either homes or
else be a blamed fool. '-Nerchdnt TrdUeier.
-
the oldest being living. / have been with men
ever since they invaded these regions and will
stay with them to the end gaunt, hoary
spectre rose and said: MY child, why so boast
fully You are an infant as compared to me. "
who are your 81 am the Joke about the
Boarding House Butter. NEBRASKA State
JoUn0i
$50 you've got a wife?' said Jones to a newly
married man.
Don't know, don't know" replied the man,
with evident hesitation; sometimes think I've
got her, and sometimes l think she's got me.
You sec, I've only been married for few
months, and can t tell just yet how the blamed
combination is going to turn out."-Wdshtag-
ton Critic
THERE is young lady in Keol1lk Ia. who is
six feet four inches tall, and she is engaged to
be married. The man who won her did it in
these words
Thy beauty set my soul aglow;
I'd we'd thee right or wrong;
Man wants but little here below,
But wants that little long.
-NelD York Star.
Miss SIMPATicA-Dear Mrs. Brown, miss that
good-looking servant of yours Where is she
Mrs. B.-She was neffably, insuferably,
densely stupid that bad to part with her.
Miss 81 am so sorry. | always sympathze
with a woman too obtuse to earn her own liv-
ing. Where is the poor girl
Mrs B.-Doing well and making money. She
runs an intelligence office Ptttsburg Bulletin
A TEACHER, in trying to explain to her scholars
the meaning of repentance used this illuStra-
ton: Suppose a bad boy were TO steal an
orange, and his good mother should catch him
with it aud take him by the hand gently and tell
him how wicked it is and how very, very grieved
she was; don't you think, now that the little
boy ought to feel sorryY" One of the scholars
eagerly replied:
Yes mum,
And why, Marmaduke?"
Cause
because why, Marmaduke?"
Because he hadn't ct the orange befo' his ma
cotch him and tuck it away from him.-Chan,-
berS' Journal