The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1888-06-27
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
"Great Scott "-Sir Walter.

"Great Scott !'-Slr Walter.
A couple o. castaways-Old shoes.
The greyhound is headlong animal.
A cereal story-A lie about the grain
crop.
Chestnut--a new name for an old
thing.
When the tailor gets rich it is by shear
industry.
A blind teacher would naturally have
bad pupils.
If one were his own dentist he might
have teeth extracted without payin'.
The. undertaken may not boast of his
athletics, but he's something of boxer.
The Cincinnati Commercial speaks of a
petrifed girl. She was probably rocked
too much in her infancy.
Most of the unvashed New York An
archists are Russians. There is very
little serf bathing in Russia.
~ cannot sing the o!d songs
| sang long years ago.
WheTeat cheerful friend remarked:
"Thank Heaven that is so"
She (happily)-'Aren't the oysters
delicious, George" He (apprehensively)
/ ever ate !n-ISd- Bits.
As the man in the moon gets full he
shines larger and brighter. The man on
earth who gets full simply gets red in
the face, and-foolish.
Beer IS not generally considered an
expensive drink, but little porter on
drawing room car will often cost you
half dollar. Mo- York Necs.
French as She is Spoke. Patron Ito
restaurant waiter) SCOT any Brio
cheese!" Waiter (astonished) d)-"Only
the pair I've got on. Hotel Mail
"Can anything settle the servant girl
question:" asks weary housekeeper.
TO which we respectfully reply: "Yes,
the kerosene can. ."-Neto York NJ reury.
Papa (of Calvanistc faith, has just
heard that Mollie was at the theatre last
evening)-"Good morning, daughter OF
Satan Mollie-" Good morning, faith
er."-LJt.
There are 1910 medicines in the
pharmacopIa of the United States, and
in most communities there is one man
who has tried every one of them before
discovering that there never was any
thing the matter with him.
Father Ito would-be son-in- law)-
"Young man, will you be able to take
care of my daughter in the style in
which she has always been accustomed2"
Young Aan-'Tll guarantee it, sir, or
return the girl. York Sun.
"None of your sauce to me, miss"
said the man who must have his little
Joke, with an assumption of brusque-
ness, as the waiter girl was about to
place a dish. of marmalade beside his
plate at supper, Detroit Free Press.
Another big wash out on our line"
exclaimed the railroad employees in
dustrious he 'pmeet pointing to the string
of whitened clothes which stretched
from their back window to a house
across the way.-Detr0n Free Press.
"Would the ladies be in favor of
uniform marriage law, do you thinkP
asked II member of Congress of one of
his fair constituents; and she renlied:
every likely, if the uniform were
pretty one and had u handsome man in
it,"
''Ha, ha How do you feel now!n
asked one fly of another, which had
been caught on piece of eXterminator
paper, and was in vain trying to wade
through the general stickiness. "Gluo
me-" was the brief reply. -PHtSurg
ChrORicie.
"This IS very strange remarked
Billy Bliven, thoughtfully, after he had
tasted the contents of his butter-dish;
''vcry strange indeed "What is
strangei" That such delicate, pale
butter should turn out to be so robust
-HCrchaHt Iiareier.
Il am surprised, Bobby" said his
father, repro ingly that You should
strike your brother. Don't you know
that it is cowardly to hit one smaller
than YOURSELF" "Then why do you hit
me, pa!' inquired the boy with an air
of having the better of it-Ep0rb.
"Whose picture is thatp asked the
new owner of Nebraska Opera-hOuse of
an artist who had been told to decorate
the building according to his own tas,c.
"Shakespeacc's,n replied the artist.
"Shakespeare! Who's that. Never
heard Of him. Paint it out and put my
picture there, - Grdphic.
At Cannes, in front of small boot
makers ,hop, the English tourist may
find the following inscription in his own
language 90. epairs hung with stage
coach.n After long and anxious thought
he may arrive at the cObbler's meaning,
who only wishes TO inform his numerous
patrons that "repairs are executed with
diligence"
- f..,,t,1 a.,Et,,. -.