Morning journal and courier., 1888-11-26
SOMETHING.

There is something paradoxieal about coun- terfeiting It is oney-making business which does not pay.-Pittsburg Chronicle.
 Knew it AIl.-Chicago "Connoozer" Gin art store)-"Who painted that picturep Sharp Dealer-'That's genuine Smith, sir" "Oh, I'll take it. t."-Philadelshia Record.
 He-s'I see that our friend Fennelton ran away behind his ticket" She-ssThese Fen neltons grow meaner and meaner every day. Why don't he hire 8 coupe?"-Minneapolis Tribune.
 Lanky wife (to cranky husband)-Dear, a fancy dress ball is to be given. What eharae- ter would you advise me to select?
 Husband-Cnt your hair short and go as a mop.-Town Topics.
 ttWe1l, Uncle Cicero, what makes you look so gluma'' "Yes, sah; to tell you the trufe, my ole woman has begun to make buckwheat cakes, and she hasn't got into the swing of it yet, sah. ."-New York World.
 Shakespeare was slightly mixed in his boy" whom the maternal eye has detected in some fragrant act of disobsdience that "shifts into the slippered pantaloon. ."-Puck.
 Some one is advocating gardens of the roof This will be convenient, at least. When potatoes are needed for dinner, all you will have to do is to go to the, garret and pick them off the ceiling.zYo Yonkers Statesmen. F
 Silver loses, 6neaffh of its weight for each year it lies sabnfergeds nndsr salt water. In fiSuffngi on 100 bags of coin lost 50 years ago iy!ou can count t-only on the bags and how many oats they would hold.-Dstroit Free Press.
 Diner-What kind of chicken do you call this, waiteri
 Waiter-Dat am Plymouth Rock, sah.
 Diner-Ahl I'm glad it has historic inter- est. feared it was an ordinary cobblestone. Town Topics.
 Deacon-ssDo they use the revised edition of the Bible at your church, Mrs. Hymnala' Mrs, Hymnal-"We used to, but since the craze for the antique began we did not wish to be behind the age, 50 we adopted the other book. Howell Citizen. A Republican in 6 neighboring village illu- minated his house because of the recent vic' tory. His wife, however, is a Democrat; SC she closed one blind of each window of the demieile to show that one half the firm didn't sympathize with the demonstration.-Wells boro Pa.) Agitator.
 Mother-Goodness mel Is that Irene a the pianos
 "Well, go ask her what she is doing. Il she is praeticing she can keep on until tht hour is up; but if she is playing, tell her tG stop. p."-Philadelphia Record. Young Mrs. Bummer-My dear, didn' you enjoy my letters while was away? fatter myself that I write rather spicy let | ters.
 Mrs Bummer-Yes, I should say you car ried your letters in the same pocket witl 1 your cloves for about three days before mail | ing them.-Buriington Free Press. Little Edith was required by her mother tt assist in household labor, and it fell to hel l lot to dust the stairs. When dustine da! 1 came around, Edith would moan, "Oh, how unhappy amp but after she had com 1 pleted her task she would change her tun'
 and say, "How happy ami" On the last re l currence of the dreaded day, Edith wen about her work without being told. Wher
 she had finished, however, she came into th' sitting room with a sad, troubled face
 die. I've got so good that love to dust" "- | Boston Transcript.