The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1888-07-26
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Fortunately for the self esteem OF
the rest of mankind, doctors are not
half as wise us they look.
Journal.
-"Well," said an undertaken, I'm
not much of a fighter, but when it
comes to boxing l can easily lay out
any man. Undertakers' Journal.
Most women don't care rap about
going to the polls to vote so long as
they have the privilege of casting the
decisive ballot at home.-jSon.erUiil
Journal.
-Edison's agent-"Wouldn't you
like to buy photograph? twill store
up everything you say and repeat it to
you. Want one?" Omaha man-''No;
got a wife. - Omaha World.
First ald-head-''That's beau-
tiful piece the orchestra is playing"
Second ald-head-"Ah, it is one that
will always haunt me-" ''WhyP" 'It
is the only one my daughter knows. "
New Haven Neacs.
Iiou idllWdy HAcii
greater speed than those of the United
States, but they ought to. The farm
ers' daughters don't come out to the
gate to firt with the drummers.-De-
troit Free Press.
Ethel, weeping-''I am so disap-
pointed in him. | am sure he was tipsy
last night-he threatened to kiss me"
MAXWELL, there's no knowing what
men won't do when they're drunk. y
Life.
There are $4,000 species of insects
in the world, and how on earth drum
mer can have the face to come down.
stairs in the morning and jump on the
landlord about one particular species is
conundrum. m.-DetroI Free Press.
When you reflect that at picnics
one hundred years ago it was the GUS
tom for the girls to stand up in row
and let the men kiss them all good-by,
all the enthusiasm about national prog
ress seem to be a grave mistake
Scranton Truth.
He Ga pessimist) mankind
has greatly degenerated, particularly
in wit and beauty. I'm going to write
book on the subject" Shell should
advise you to lecture; your appearance
would lend such force to your argument,
you know. "-1own Topics.
Old man-"My boy, 1 have made
q success of my life, and owe it to the
rinciple taught me when first went
out into the world to earn my own liv-
ing" Young man-''What was the
principle?" ''Be slow and sure. y
What did you do when you first went
out to work?" 81 was telegraph
messenger. ."--iSt Paul Globe.
1t was in a Boston private school
of fashionable repute, and the class of
young ladies who had been studying
the history and the Constitution of the
United States were under examination.
''How is the law made P" said the in
structor. "O," said a tailor-made
damsel, cheerfully, 1.-THE Senate has to
ratify it, and then the President has to
veto it !''-Boston Beacon.
The bulk of my fortune / wish to
bequeath to my scapegrace nephew
George" said the dying man. why,
it was only yesterday that he called
you an old skinfint," said the lawyer.
sId cut the boy off," That's al
right" replied the testator. "You
make the will cut the way l tell you
l know enough about wills to know
that if / leave him all the money he
won't get cent of it. t."-Hdrper's Ba
ear.
Minister'S wife (whose husband il
short of a sermon): Here is an ole
one, dear, that you preached severa
, years ago, before you accepted YOU
present call; why not use that p
Minister: "What is the textp' Minis
ter's wife: ats about the camel ant
the eye of a needle" Minister: ''Tha
wouldn't do at all. Don't you know
that preach to Il two hundred million
J dollar congregation every Sunda,
morning P"