The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1888-07-11
WHOLE NO. 1890.
The Arizona Kicker.

TnANEs-Mrs. DIR. Jones, Of Sitting Bull
avenue, will please accept our thanks for
an old-fashioned pumpkin pie sent in the
other evening. 1t tickled our palate i'm
mensely and we went to bed the better
Christian for her act of kindness. BY the
way, the doctor is working up a large
practice in this ghborhood and is hav-
ing wonderful luck in saving patients.
His charges are moderate, his medicines
very agreeable to the taste, and he never
presents bill until six months after the
patient is able to lift two hundred pounds.
We bank on Dr Jones in preference to all
others.
COOP BoYs.-Last week we bad an ar
ticle advising that Bloody Bill jackson
and Terrible Tom Andrews be taken in
charge by the vigilance committee for
their numerous crimes. Yesterday these
gentlemen made us a personal call and
we must say we were surprised. When
they entered the door We jumped for our
war-club, supposing they had come TO at
tack US, bus both removed their hats, pre-
sented us with bouquet Of beautiful Wild
flowers, and subscribed FOR the Kicksr and
paid year in advance. After that ci-
gars were brought out and We had talk.
II did not take over a quarter Of an hour
to find that We had been doing the gentle
men great injustice. Neither Of them
has either shot, stabbed OF clubbed per-
son except in selfdefense, snd are sons
Of old families in the east and graduated
from Yale. The Kicker desires to apollo
gize. We beg pardon. We shall en-
deavor 10 make amends by urging these
two gentlemen to stand as candidates for
the state Senate, and if nominated the
Kickcr will 30 its best 20 elect them.
Au revoir, gents. Drop in on Us again.
A NOBLE CITIzEN.-On several different
occasions We have urged that Jack CrOs-
by, proprietor OF the Blue-Front Saloon,
and better known TO our people a. '-Pri-
vate Jack, D" be taken TO the lone tree be-
hind the courthouse and hauled up to a
limb. We have given the names Of il
men who have been robbed and brutally
beaten in his place, or who so stated to us,
and we have incidentally referred to Jack
as a train-robber. burglar, horse-thief and
incendiary. Mr.. Crosby dropped in tosee
US last Sairurdy He did not come with a
bIudgeon or revolver, but as a friend and
a gettleman. : Heialso brought three bot
ties Of rare old Tennessee, for which he
will accept our thanks. Mr. Crosby con-
WINGED Us that we were entirely nistak-
en- in our estimate of him. He is no
rough or tough. Onthe contrary, he wis
educated for the ministry, and his nature
is peaceful. lie has never struck man ex-
cept in seli-defense, and has been basely
maligned by rivals in business. Before
concluding his very pleasant call he sub
scribed Cor two copies of the Kicker, and
We suggest that il would be good idea
to make him sheriff next term.
Ak ANGEL ~ TowS-W Wednesday after
noon last, as we had the office towel in
the back yard and were trying to soften
il up bit with a sled-stake, Mrs. Judge
Wharton made her appearance in the Of
fee and sweetly exclaimed ~Peek-a-boO ,
| see you hiding there - She had come to
invite Us TO a select sOiree at her mansion
the following evening. Only the leading
people OF the city were there. and II was
an decision long TO be remembered.
There were music, dancing and cards,
and We recited one % our poems. A few
weeks ago the K,ct,r had occasion 10 OBJ
serve that Judge Wharton was an old
bum drunkarl and no more 10 for the
bench than a hod IS for Heaven. At the
SHINE time We said Mr.. Judge used 10
be in a waitergirl saloon in =. Louis, and
iha: she could not get into good sDcieiy
here. We have discovered that we have
done q worthy couple gross injusiice and
nov vish o. Pulicly Apologize. The
JUICE i not only temperance man 10
the core, but one Of the best authorities
on legal Jurisprudence in the country.
His wife Is the daughter Of a New York
millionaire, and WAS never in Il. Louis in
her life The Judge hiss subscribed for
the Kicter, and we hope this apology,
coming as it does from the heart, may set
the estimablc couple right in the public
estimation Defr5d Free Press.