The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-09-08


 ble. often wonder where they keep them all-political witticisms and his torical anecdotes, jokes pure and sim- pie, and the latest as we'll as the most antique minstrel gags. These stories may not always be clean or fit for pub
 ication or the parlor, but they are made to suit the varied tastes, and are SO current among men that they are unconsciously added to the repertoire.
 Some country merchants can be cap- tured by good story who are inn pregnable to all other assaults, and cases are known of dealers who abso- lutely decline to "talk business" until they have been regsled with the latest city jokes. A budget of good stories is nothing to be sneered at, because nothing so pleasantly destroys the tedium of & long ride or long wait at a lonely station for a train as a rat tling good yarn.
 What memory for names, dates and places, faces and prices the suc- cessful gripman must havei To for get the name of a customers obscure clerk or to fail to recognize the cus- toner's baby by proper title would often mean the loss of sale.
 The veteran traveller is apt to be &C., complished in several ways. Many of them are gladly welcomed at the country hotels where the landlords ungainly daughters listen in raptur- ous silence to the brilliant rendition of the latest city "pieces," usually Dave Braham's ditties with varia- tions. A sonorous chorus will al- ways be at hand if there are any trav- elers around and quartettes of excel lent caliber will be improvised at a moments notice. I have in mind 8 successful traveller who never fails to carry his cornet with him and another who finds 8 footing kazoo the solace of many long and lonely hour.
 Of course your average drummer is we'll up in the lighter variety of fic- tion, and has seen every circus or travelling show worth talking about. In fact, there is a tendency to affiliate whenever traveller and an actor come together.
 It's worth noting that traveller is regaded as an extra first-class risk by insurance companies-this. too, while perhaps three fourths of his days are spent on the rail. In wrecks of the most disastrous kind the traveller most miraculously escapes, and crawls out of burning cars in time to be the first to lend hand to rescue the in- jured and the dying.
 The drummer's "nerve" has passed into proverb, and yet, because of this factor perhaps in contradiction of 1.-the higher grades of commercial tourists are modest, almost retiring. They are certainly quiet and unas- suming, and are never, or hardly ever, the fresh, impudent, brassy indivuals pictured on the stage. The young traveller will be frisky in spite of the world, but contact with the grave, dignified veterans who compose the mass of the profession soon tones him down and takes the edge of his brash- ness. Pass through a railroad car, and the quietest passengers-and the most patient and uncomplaining, too are the travellers. They never ob- trude themselves on you or force their company, and none are so prompt as they to resent an insult of- fered to lady. They are but mortal of course, like the base ball umpire, and if lady encourages them or seeks to attract their attention, they can be as gallant as the average man.
 By dint of much experience the run of travellers have become capital judges of pretty girls, good horse flesh, fine cigar and the genuine thing in bourbon. They are humble connoisseurs in the several lines, and are, above all, excellent judges of human nature. A police judge, re- !, porter and commercial traveller usu- ally understand that complex mass called humanity-if they do not they ought to.
 Drummers are the favorites of rail- roads because they patronize the first class equipment and give the roads a vast amount of freight-in fact, they are the pioneers who build up the railroads while they build up their own business.
 In time the knight of the sample case becomes an expert poker player l; he grows old in the harness, too, and the noble head becomes silvered and the strong form bowed. But still he tolls on. At home are loved ones who must be guarded against the worlds inclemency, even though it may require eleven months' absence from home on his part, and midnight ride and broken slumber. And then one day the old soldier betakes him. self to bed and rises therefrom only to make his last trip, to "that bourne whence no traveller returns" He car- ries in the shadowy grip-case samples of the gentle virtues which have made his earthly life beautiful, and