The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1888-01-13
DOES LIZ PAY2

purchasing "Cheap Turkey in Bar
koom-A True Incident and a Fair IL
lustration.
Around the holiday times most liquor
stores have several turkeys TO be ratified
amongst the customers, and of course
many imagine that the cheapest way
to get one is to buy a few drinks and q
ticket for the rattle. The following in
cident, for which we vouch, may not
be inappropriate: John Smith and d
friend believed this TO be fact, and
John, after purchasing a new silk hat
and an overcoat, invited his friend to
have drink, to twet' the overcoat
and hat, in a Third avenue saloon.
After having taken a few drinks the
bartender requested them to try their
luck on the four big turkeys. which
were to be rallied for in few mo-
ments. 'All right" said Smith, "give
us two." and laying sixty cents on the
bar ordered two more glasses of beer.
''How many tickets have you sold?''
asked Smith friend. "About one hun
dred on the four turkeys" replied the
bartender.
At this time the dice-hox was made
ready and those who were interested
in the throwing stood in front and
around the bar. ''The winners must
blow the house off," said one of the
hardy men who mikes the saloon his
headquarters. The bartender had given
him ticket and, of course, he was
willing to take the risk of his repre-
sentative losing, as his chances were
one hundred to one that he would win.
The dice are thrown. One man
''runs high" takes his choice of the
turkeys. treats the house, and feels
contented, not thinking that he had
spent at least ST. % for the turkey after
paying for tickets and drinks for the
crowd.
Turkey No. 2 is won. Drinks for the
crowd. No. ditto. No. is aboutto
be thrown for. Smith and his friends
look anxious. 1t comes Smiths way.
He wins turkey No. 4. Asks ali pres
ent to join him in social glass. The
heeler of the house asks all hands to
have drink with him, in order to
catch what is generally known in bar
rooms as sucker" He succeeded.
Smith, filled with Joy and whisky,
returns the compliment, and his friends
do likewise. The bar-keeper follows
suit, and the result is that Mr.. Smith
and his friends are unable to drink any
more. So the bar-keeper advised them
to go out. as he desired to close up.
When they appeared on the street
one had the turkey legs circled about
his neck and the body resting on his
once clean shirt bosom, hat smashed
and coat filed with grease, mud and
slush, from the gutter and fowl They
were only half block away from the
store when they met fellow-man UNI
der the influence of drink, who COM
mcnced to laugh at them. Of course,
they became insulted and q fight en-
sued. The result was tol6 in the Tombs
Court the following morning, when the
clerk cried out: John Smith before
the bar--charge, drunk and fighting"
Smith presented most horrible sight.
His overcoat and hat, which he had
purchased the night before, looked as
if they had served the male members
of his family for ten years past. He
pleaded guilty to the charge and said
in his own defense that he had not
drank liquor before since New Years
Day and that he only intended to wet
his overcoat and try his luck on the
rattle, but added that the turkey was o
very costly one, having lost an over
coat hat and paid $3.50 for drinks.
WELL" said the justice. "pay SO
more as fine, then go home and en-
joy your cheap turkey"
The above is very fair example of
the man who expects to purchase
cheap turkey in bar-room. Irish
Wo,.1I