St. Paul daily globe., 1888-09-12

Detroit Free Press: The following
extracts are made from the last issue of
the Arizona Kicker:
THEY BOYCOTT US.
The fact that we have been running
the Kicker pretty much as we pleased
since the first number was issued has
given mortal Offense to certain people
in this neighbOrhOOd. We have been
kicked, licked, pounded, threatened,
shot at, and bluffed right along, and
have grown fat on it.
We came to stay.
Fact is, we've got to. We haven't
anything to go on.
Having tried all other measures to
make us let go, and having failed i'll
gloriOusly in each instance, it was de-
termined to boycott us III social way.
We have been chuck-a-luck with the
cream of society since our advent. In
fact, we have been most of the cream.
1t was decided few days ago by
syndicate of the hign-tOned that we must
be socially snubbed and crushed. Ac-
cOrdingly Mrs. MajO BaZoO, of Grizzly
Heights, announced a recherche affair
and invited everybody in the set but us.
1t was given out that she feared our
manners would disgrace the occasion,
and if they didn't our clothes would.
We weren't saying word. We saw
the bluff and went one better. On the
night of the party the sheriff made
haul of three high-toned prisoners at
the house of Maj BaZOO, while half
dozen others broke for the woods. We
have one great advantage over the
other creams of society. We left the
East by daylight and shook hands
with the sheriff as we started, We are
neither bigamiSt, eloper, embeZZler,
hOrSethief, jailbird nor gambler. We
don't want to work this lever unless
some one jumps on our collar. We have
reduced tony society over half since we
came here by giving the sheriff point
ers. We can run the other half out
of town in week. Mrs. Maj.
BaZoO has called to beg our pardon and
express her deep disgust with herself.
We have forgiven her, knowing it will
not happen again. As for Judge Ca
boots. who inspired the boycott and set
the crushing machine at work, we bear
him no animosity. We will simply re-
mark that he is a bigamist, incendiary,
embezZler, forger. periurer and high
way robber, and we have dispatched
Pinkerton to come and get him.
WE SHAN'T WORRY.
O. Our amiable and gentlemanly sheriff
entered our office day before yesterday
in his usual urbane manner and an
nOunced that he must serve papers on
US. 1t was notice of breach OF prom
Use suit against us by the Widow CliXby,
who alleges that we have been toying
with her heart strings. and that it would
take $1,000 of our cash to settle her
thoughts back in the old channel.
1t is another move on the part of our
enemies to down us.
We first met the Widow ChXby
twenty-eight days ago in Carters
grocery, She asked our opinion of
nerrings, and we asked hers of
soap. She invited us to call at
the house and see some poetry
she had written on the rise
and fall of the mastodon. We
complied. We called there three or four
times afterwards. but only as friend.
On one occasion the widow showed us a
clipping from an Eastern paper to the
effect that it was better for a man who
had passed the age of twentY-three to
marry a widow if he was to marry, but
we didn't bite.
We know our gait. If the Widow
CliXby can prove to the world that we
have tOyed with her affections Well
cheerfully go to jail. We are not on the
toy. The widow will find us no jack
rabbit. and the enemies who have EN-
cOuraged this new move may hear some
thing drop before the trial is over.
a SAD MOOD.
Wednesday evening, as we put on our
Mother Hubbard and sat down by the
open window to get breath Of air be-
fore retiring, sadness suddenly stole
over us and in few minutes we found
tears in our eyes. The query came to
US over and over again; rs life worth
the living?" and as we thought of the
old hOmesiead-the days of bOyhOOd-
the many years the changes of thirty
yearS-the fountains of the deep were
broken up and we wept.
Such moods do man good. They
bring him nearer heavens gate. We
don't know whether they come from
disOrdered liver or a guardian angel,
but we always feel heap better after
wards. We no longer feel a spirit of
revenge. We have no greed. We feel
charity for all.
And as the bright beams of the har-
vest noon steal into our Office window
and throw food of silver light upon
the dead ads on the imposing stone; as
the south wind comes signing around
the corner of JackaSS hill and whispers
to us the story of household graves; as
the WhippOorWill wakes from his sweet
sleep in the rear of Stevens diSrep-
utable dance-house to call us to press
onward and upward and be not .discour-
aged, we take down our office towel,
wipe the falling tears away, and seek
our couch with the determination to Sc
cure pass from here to Omaha and re-
turn or make it SO hot for the railroads
that they will have to keep every tie wet
all the year round.