The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1888-10-16
BUMPS AND JlNKS.
They Hold PaIaver Over the Special
Election. The Ante-PIatfOrm Chi

nese."
Alter the former experiences the re-
porter Kept a look out for his two friends,
! and only day or two after the interview
on the wharf be found them at Thomas
SQUARE waiting for the band. They
greeted each other and finding comfort
able bench settled themselves and con-
versation began.
81 say, Bumps" says links, what
was that last lection they had in August,
for? I thought you told me the other
day that they 'lected the hull gang last
year, and besides, that measly paper
was telling you about only told about
two fellers running an one bein' 'lected."
ooh, l tell you how that was, Jinks.
You see the legislature lost one of their
MESSIAH it was great loss too-an' a
man had to be 'lected to fill his place.
SO lot of covies was chosen as delegates
an they come together in that same
place where the legislator an the Court
meets, an they had quite spree. The
two men who was runnin' was Wilder
and Schmidt. They was both good men,
our 'steemed teller citizens,' as they was
called, an both was possessed Nv sub
stantIal bodies, an considerable human
natur'. Neither Nv them was addicted
to politics, an at first neither of them
seemed to care much about it. But after
thew began to think it over an the papers
told what great men they was, an each
found out the other was runnln', they
began ter think if it wasn't their duty to
sacrifice their selves. Schmidt seemed
L. IL,
of his duty, an when Wilder an his
friends found that out, it seemed to
settle the matter all ter once, an Wilder
concluded ter sacrifice his self too. 1t
was hard to tell which did sacrifice most.
For it was mighty incOnvenient for
Wilder ter leave his biziness, an
Schmidt had some beautiful clO'es he
used ter wear on big occasions. Ii
Wilder was 'lected he'd have ter leave
his biziniss, an if Schmidt was 'lected |
he'd have ter leave his clO'es. l tell you
Schmidt did look handsome in them
clo'es, an he had a royal step, an you'd
think him an sum King was twins. But
Wilder was an old dimicrat, an he
smelled powder, an he says by Gineral
Jackson an all the lmps Nv free trade |
don't want ter, but I got ter An
Schmidt says donnerwetter, somebody
hold me, or the cork'l blow out an I'll
spatter all over AS usual the victims
was wonderful porlite ter each other all
along till the convention met. An they
was each filled with anxious thoughts
about the condition Nv the country; an
how they never could have consent, d ter
run had it not been for the great crisis
in the fairs Nv the nation; an there
wasn't no body else fit ter run; an they
wondered they'd never 'preciated before
what a dignity it was to be a Noble, an
as they thought it over they was sur
prised ter find how unsuited the other
was for the office. Schmidt walked
about soft an quiet like, an increased
more an more an Wilder spent con-
siderbul time leaning up agin the house
on the sidewalk, with his hat over his
eyes, twisting his watch chain an list
ming to fellers on the inside who didn't
want ter interfere but jess tho't they'd
mention it, you know. "
"But say, Bumps" said links, what
lay does a Noble get-mus' be something
pretty goOd?"
ooh, links, you is green. There isn't
no pay at all, an it costs a good deal be- |
sides. It's for the honor, Jinks-the |
glory. Now hold on, don't interrupt. |
When YOU cum ter think how it would !
sound ter be called Honerbul Mr.. |
Jinks,' an in %rittin' home mention it,
incidental like, that your duties in the
House of Lords occupied so much Nv yer |
time you must be brief and then after |
the exhaustion of the session hev ter |
take vacation an travel. There's lots |
Nv things in this life that's not what they |
is, but what we thinks they is.
"Wall, as | was about ter say, the |
evening came. The sacrifices, afore
they left home, told their wives they
didn't care two pins about it, an they |
hoped they wouldn't git 'lected. But |
somehow they wasn't hungry much at |
dinner, an was cross, an put on their
best clo'es an slicked their hair, an
was an hour too early for the show; an
as they set notes.-the in back seats
they hitched about an acted like young
gals at their furst party.
" When the crowd was all in, kinder
presbyterian lOOkin' doctor called 'em
ter order, an they 'lected a chairman,
an committees an things an backed
an filled a good deal, as they alwus does
before they gifts off.
The chairman made some remarks
about keepin' steady an mindin' their
helms an they'd all get 'lected; an
committee reported they had examined |
the articles an found the delegates all
regularly shipped, an then they went
ter work.
I" A committee on revolutions reported
somethin' that jingled pretty we'll but
didn't mean nothin', an then one teller
sed he that tho't lepers an Chinese was
too prevalent An that pretty Teller,
what has a billiard room down town,
jumps up an says, yes, we must put
plank in the Chinese an the crowd |
hollered an scraped their feet. An
another teller moved that they insert a
Chinese in their nte-platform, an the
crowd hollered lowder still. An then
made the committee go back an bring
in another revolution. When they !
came back an read it there was such
screech;n' I could only hear part of it,
but there was somethin' about definite
an comprehensive Chinese restricting