The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1888-01-13

guess can nA yc OUT ia-Btts.
Stranger--i want TO buy COED watch
dog.
/ Dog Fancler-H Here's the one you want
sir. Trained by an expert. lie can tell !
book agent or peddler mile Of.
"And whatrl he do then !"
do Hen chew 'em into soup bones"
"Wsll, guess he won't suIt me"
"Wby Most people want a dog like
that"
"Yes,I know but I'm book agent,you
see."-Kentueky State Journal
"Yea have brother in foreign lands.
believe ="
ayes, he ls In Japan now"
Travelling for his health p
"Weil, In q way"
allow In a way ="
"Why, he was Judge Ia baby show
some time ago,and Il woa's be safe for him
to come back for at least three years.
Nebraska State Jo3rHal.
Bridget, II ! engage you shall expect
you TO serve my dinners fashionabIy."
"Daae mura,an' oill do Il 10 yer Iolken
so oi will"
"ot course you know ali abeut antressi p
Certainly, mum It's meseif as ailer.
serves the dinner on atrays."-Yonkers Ga.
sefse.
| A messenger boys diary -Moaday ,hIr.
ed Tuesday, tired Wednesday. arsd.-
Newark Sunday Cal.
"Say, bub, hear that your folks are go
Ing to have conversation club At your
house this winter" "Ycp we've got
one" "Who are the members 2" aAfe
and mother. furnish the conversation
and mother provides the club. Emmy
more '"-Detroit Free Press.
"'Does marriage change man p you
ask"
(Iiis ienc and look were sad.l
THE first week Of our wsdding tour
Took all the change had"
-HarPer's Basar.
Lord Donnywocks-sI want extra ssean
heat, weaEher-strips on the windows,
special hall boy y,privase dInlng-room, elder
down quilts. and"
Hotel clerk-"Hold on, my dear sir.
think you've made mistake. This Ism
heaven i"--Psek
"This ere animal. said Snowman, ais
leopard. The aneients thought he eouldn
change his spots. but lt's now known the
he sleeps In one spst one night. and in su
other spot the next night, and Is all tn
time changin' his spot."-N. Y. Ledge,
Manager Ito new man whe teok the par
of an Indian chief In Wild West drama
Say, them yelIs Of your'n was great
They was the hit of the piece. You mus
have lived all pour life with the Conan
ches.
New man-Never saw cemsnche 0
any other Iniun.
Manager (surprised) Where dye 81
them yells, thsn2
New mani used to drive New Yorl
milk route.--New York Ssn.
Honor the pumpkin vine
Long may Its tendrils twine
Over the land !
Blessed be those who wear
Crisp hayssed in their hair
Glorious band
Minneapolis Tribune.
"Papa, asked little Bobby McSwilIigen
"what is . railroad pool 7" "A railroad
pool, Johnny" replied McSwiIligen. "i'
where they water the stock"
At Vernon, Ind, visitors throw silvei
dollars into the gas wells, just to see them
thrown back again. II Is evident thai
Dame Nature wants 100 cents on the dol.
lar.
Natural gas has vastly improved ths
morals oS Tiktsburg. The game Of poker
has been practically banished from every
tireside. There Is nothing to poke.
The Journal asks, aWhat will be the fuel
of the future ?" Such of US as are living
Christian lives have been taught to believe
1t will be brimstone.-Life.
"There is one paper thar will destroy
the polish of any one 1t may come in con-
tact with"
"Bless me, my good man. what is It's
name 7"
"Sand paper, madam
Like does not always cpre like. An eIs.
vator dropped four stories in a Western
city last week because the attendant had
taken drop too much.
Detroit man-Hello, bab What's the
"extra" out for, base BAH game.
Newsboy-Naw, railroad accident, dozen
people killed, want copy
Detroit man-Of course not. This
newspaper busimtss is fraud. They print
an "extra" on the least provocation. It's
shameful It'd Bits
Competing manufacturers In Baltimore
have begun paste wsr, Both sides prom.
ises to stick.-Sy5ingy
People Of all nations are employed ii
manufacturing shoes A good class t.
turn out variety Of brogues.
The carpenter is an unreasonable fellow
He objects to plain b0ard.and yet he doh't'
like board until It is planned DansviIie
Breeze.
Now Is the time to lay IN your shermon-
etcrs. They are way down.
There's music iii the nfs. yess4e ~. IL j