Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1888-04-27
The ST. Lawrence and the Rio Grande.

l make the attempt here i would have
to saturate myself in Goldfish. talk cod
fish. eat Goldfish. smell of Goldfish. and
sing "God Save the Queen" on the
slightest provocation. So l know
meyer could he any thing but tender
foot here. Now it was different in Tex
as. When I went there. got ''accli-
mated" before / was in the state two
days One could conform TO habits,
customs and surroundings there with
out affecting ones physical comfort or
knocking the hoops of ones coscience.
l don't think l ever told you about
how i became a Texan in two min
utes
Well. this would be about as good a
time as any other to tell it. / would
much rather write about Texas than
about this ragged and ugly looking
country. Wish / was on the back Of a
mustang now, out on the western plains,
instead Of sitting here ON this hard rock
on "a foreign strand"
When first went to Texas was ac-
companied by an obtrusive English &C
cent and pair Of speckled trousers
that invited harsh criticism. 1t was at
n place called Colum bus that / made
my debut as n tenderfoot. Besides my
accent and the ostentatious trousers,
carried with me n very high estimate
of myself and | considered it to be my
duty as a subject OF Victoria Del gra-
tia. to let the hordes of Texas barbar-
ians know that l was a person of i'm
portance.
At Columbus | wanted to buy horse,
rs it was my intention to ride from that
place to the Rio Grande. While sitting
on the veranda of the little wooden
hotel | dropped my naughty patrician
for time and conversed with num-
Der of COW boys. who were stopping at
the place. | did not hesitate to express
my contempt for the Texan horses
had seen. | made facetious remarks
regarding the ungrateful manner in
which tho Texan rode, and | was sar-
castle in the matter of the Texas
saddle. In Texas fools sometimes
rush in where desperadoes fear to
tread
COW DOlS tShtil Wlldl WIS bllc
best way to ride, and what kind of
horses did we have in nv country. |
told them that rode with long stir
rup related exploits wherin figured
as winning n steeplechase across a stiff
country in the west of Ireland, and
told of some horses / had owned
! phenomenal horses, with pedigrees
running away back TO the dark ages.
Even to this day. whenever | think of
an ass demonstrated myself to be on
that occasion, | make All effort to
blush.
The COWBOYS seemed to take
all | said goodnaturedly, and
they made no comment. The
head cowboy, however looked tired
and asked the others to take drink.
He invited me to join them. When we
arr we'd at the bar | said l would take q
glass Of claret.
Jim, he says he'll take caret. May
be he'd like it in silver goblet, with a
straw berry or an oyster in it. as he $
accustomed 10 in his ancestral castle at
home Oh. he's daisy. | tell you.
Barkeeper. the tenderfoot ii take some
whisky. same as the rest of us. l reckon
that's what he'll take. :"
A still small voice within me whisp-
cred that whisky was. under the cir
cumstances, the thing for me TO take,
and | took it.
Want to buy horse, you say, eh?"
Yes" / replied. Il want good
steady horse.
"Oh, no, you want a bucking broncho
that what you want
hat lno IN hrAn hn
Don't know, eh?"
No"
Then that's ee-kzactly what you
want Amt il, boys?"
Chorus of boys-''You just bet your
sweet life. ="
Thd result was that the chief pirate
sold me a dismal looking plug. q saddle
and bride for $50 When l got ready
to leave the. boys were all standing
around TO see me of. Sarcastic re-
marks were made about me being a
"steeplechaser way back" and the
crowd was requested to give me room
to spread myself. / got into the saddle
and was gathering up the reins, when
the wretched parody of horse rose in
the air, bent his back like bow. and
came down again with all his four feet
in bunch under his centre of gravity.
did not at that moment seem to have
any centre of gravity of my own.
There was vague idea in my brains
that the earth in its diurnal whrl had
slipped cog. or in IFS wild climb
around the sun had stumped its toe.
These thoughts were simultaneous with
the sensation OF being hit with some
thing knew in moment that it was
the earth on which we live. for nothing
smaller than a globe %. 900 miles in
circumference could have gwen me such
cold. harsh. stunning bat on the ear.
When / got to my feet shook the
sand out of NV hair. and hung horse
blanket around my splintered garments
/ discovered my bucking broncho was
gone. The cowboys were pointing him
out TO each other as he could be dis
cerned scooting across the scenery.
Turning to the crowd. said:
What was it that animal-that
bucking broncho-did to iLe?"
'He bucked you; that's what he
did"
That was n bucking. was itp Well