Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1888-04-28
pITH AND PoISr.

| HE gambler most always runs m +
deal business. Duluth Photographer.
| A BAR of Music-the order prohibits
ing 1t IN New York beer saloons on Sum
day.
The only thing that can save a man
sometimes is to have the doctors give
him up.
AN old whalesman being asked If he
admired the harp, said yes, if it was o
harpoon.
| HE "drop-letter" boxes in England
must get pretty we'll filled up with his
Boston Bulletin.
| Tea cHER--In what battle was Gen.
Blank killed? Bright Boy-His last
one.-IVheeli,ag batelligencer.
LIVES Of statesmen all remind us
We can make our lives sublime.
Aud departing leave behindu us
| Food for scandal for all time.
| FALLsTAFF and Prince Hal were very
thick together, though Jack was three
times as thick as the Prince was.-Sift-
! i7ags.
| OCCASIONALLY a posto lice clerk ticks
so many stamps that he learns to speak
Gum Arabic, and the knowledge sticks
to him, too.-Shoe and Leather Re
porter.
Mrs. SKINNER-Isn't your coffee all
right, Nh. Gagley? Want some more
hot water? The New Boarder-Thank,
you, no. It's quite wet enough al
ready.-Judge.
Barber How do you wish your face
shaved? Patient-To match my note
| at the bank. Barber-How's that?
Patient-Shave off the principal and
leave me the interest Record
| MINISTER - Well, Bobby, do you
think that you will be better boy this
year than you were last? Bobby
| (hopefully)-I think so, sir; began
taking cod liver oil last ek.-Epoch.
II WANT strong man for the place.
What was your occupation?" II was
carver of spring chickens in down.
town restaurant" "Take off your coat
and go to work at once.-Boston Ga.
zette.
WHEN person says he is prevented
from doing something by pressing du-
ties" what does he mean? Is their
some particular season for pressing du.
ties, like pressing flowers, for instance?
-Teras Siftings.
BLoBsoN-Have you heard the latest?
Dumpsey - No = what? Blobson =
Young Popinjay beat his father yester-
day. Dumpsey-You don't say so!
Shameful! Blobson-Yes, he beat the
old gentleman out of $10.-Burlingto
Free Press.
AMONG other extraordinary anato.
mics discovered by my hopeful of four
| and half is one which she named in
telling me of the sad chastisement in.
ficted on disobedient doll: Papa,
Ditto was 80 naughty to-day that had
to 'pank her on the back of her tum-
mic. "-Babyhood.
MAMMA" said Philadelphia girl,
"what would be an appropriate present
to give George. You know we are not
engaged yet. ''How long has he been
calling upon your" about two years."
"Then think pretty plain hint will
be the proper thing to give him.-Wa-
verley Magazine.
II HAVE been greatly discouraged"
said young author, because I've seen
inferior articles get into the best maya
zines just through influence. How
ever, I've had one of mine published
at last" Indeed" calculated Miss
Snyder. smiling archly. "How did you
manage to get the influence? -Judge
EVERYBODY is getting compliments
and puffs but me-" whined Mr.. Sardine
as he looked over the local column OF
the village paper. "The editor has
mentioned nearly every man in town
this week but me. Guess I'm not ia
vorite. Never had compliment paid
me in my life" "Never was paid
compliment in your life!" echoed q
scraggy, long-nosed woman in sneering
tone. Never was paid a compliment
in your life, eh? Mr.. Sardine, will
you please remember that two years
ago married you!" and by way ofjog-
ging his memory she accidentally upset
the tea kettle of boiling water on Mr..
Sardine's legs-Teras SDti'sgs.