The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1888-09-22
FUNNY LARRY JEROME.
How thee Noted American Joker Amazed
Some Thicis Witted Englishmen.

an ocean yacht race, in which the Hen.
rietta the Fleetwing, and the Vesta took
part, Larry Jerome begged to be taken
on the Henrietta, and was accommo.
dated, going forth on a voyage which
many thought to be a pilgrimage OF
death. Previous to starting Larry bet
right and left on the race, and when he
came to figure up his bets he found thai
he was booked to lose, no matter how the
race came out. His friend, Mr.. Heck
sher, took the bets off the joler's hands
and by a little scientific work changed
the book into sure winner. Well, the
race was sailed and the daring racers
were not drowned. They landed in
Cowes conquerors and lions, and found
all England, which dearly loves pluck,
at their feet.
Then Mr.. jerome cultivated the top
notch of British aristocracy with out
ward devotion and inward chuckling,
and had lots of fun at the expense OF
the thick-witted islanders, who think
the whole world worships them.
Among his blooded friends was one
who had the entree to Osborne, where
her Royal Majesty was sojourning at
the time. They paid visit to the pal
ace. In one of the rooms the eagle eye
of the joker lighted on some of the
royal stationary.
co." he cried, raising his eye to
rITaavan Gsif I no,,ld orI,r l,,--o 800 - .
Those crested sheets to take home tc
america, how envied | would be
there!n
His friend thought the matter could
be arranged and soon the joker had
his prize. Shortly after this dinner on
one of the yachts was given, and to it a
number of Englishmen were invited
Mr.. Jerome had written on the royal
stationary an invitation to Mr.. Law
renee r. Jerome to dine at Osborne
with her Majesty, the Queen, and az
ranged to have it brought into him
when the champagne had circulated
long enough to make the Englishmen
unsuspicious and credulous. AS it
happened, a real invitation from Lord
Somebody was handed to the joker just
few moments before the arrival OF
the bogus one. He opened it, yawned
and looked distraught. "What is it?"
asked some one.
80, only an invitation from Lord So
and-So." The Englishmen stared.
Only an invitation! Then came the
big envelope with the royal seal and
crest. The Englishmen marveled. Mr.
jerome sighed, and with an incom-
parable air of nOnchalance cut the seal
and opened the precious missive.
"Well," he said, this is getting to
be bore"
What was it? o, an invitation from
the Queen. An invitation from the
Queen a bore! o, well, she doubtless
meant kindly, but she didn't know how
tired the American was of these little
social courtesies; they were beginning
to pail upon him. And so for half an
hour he ran on, and nearly drove the
astonished Johnnies crazy. They never
suspected the joke.
I" There were a couple of Americans in
the party who could not make up their
alleged minds whether his letter was
real or bogus. They tried to pump
Larry, and he got on his dignity right
away. At length they decided that he
really was on intimate terms with the
royal family, and as they were anxious
to visit Osborne, they asked him to
give them the "open sesame" MY
dear boys" he said, there's nothing
easier in the world. The Queen is
dead stuck on American yachtsmen
ever since we came across the pond.
All you have to do is to put on your
yachting clothes and march up to the
palace. As Americans you will be
welcomed. OF course, you will find
some soldiers at the gate, and they will
present their bayonets at your breasts,
but that is only a matter of form.
Wave them away, tell them you are
Americans and march in. They will
cause you no further trouble The
/ two simples followed these directions
only too well, and narrowly escaped
arrest When they returned to re-
proach the joker he met them with a
serious countenance. He could not
credit their story. why, l went in
that way" he solemnly asseverated,
land | didn't have bit of trouble.
went through the Queens private
apartments Nor could they ever
make him confess otherwise.-M Y.
/ World.