davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-04-19
Thought 1t Was a Cyclone.

In the office of a prominent lumber
ranged one of these perforated chair
seats so that hose runs to the bottom
of it from the steam radiator, and by
turning n thumb screw, live steam is
sent under the chair with such force
and noise as TO frighten man out of
his boots. The boys take great de-
light in getting friends to take seat
in the chair, and when the steam is
turned on they burst bag behind the
victim, or tip over a scuttle of coal.
and he thinks the house is coming
down, One day last week they fright
ened n livery man till he almost faint
ed away, and then they telephoned for
the chef of police. He went to the
office thinking there had been rob-
berry. or that they had a clew to the
Tascott murderer. When he came
they sat him in the perforated chair
and while one proceeded to make a
short story long, the other turned on
the steam and dropped TIN pail of
broken glass. The CHI ef thought it was
a cyclone, and with ono hand on his
pants, he got down on his knees and
was about 10 offer up prayer. when
he caught sight Of the fellow turning
off the steam. and he chased him down
stairs and half way TO North La Crosse.
There was lady selling books
around town, and the boys decided to
friohten her if she showed up. She
came to the office one morning to can
vass for the book, and sat down in the
chair, and was just pointing out some
of the illustrations to the proprietor Of
the office, when the steam was turned
on and the paper bag was exploded.
The steam struck the bottom of the
char and fairly howled, and they eX-
pected the Girl would go clear to the
ceiling at least and yell nine kinds of
murder, instead of doing this she turn
ed TO the radiator, took hold of the
thumb screw and said. Permit me
turn off this steam. 1t is very unheal-
thy to have steam IN room like this, y
and she turned it OIL and continued,
las was saving. before this young man
turned the hose on me. this book is one
that no family should be without.
Every last man in the Office subscribed
for her book, and when She went out
they noticed that she wore an oilcloth
over her hustle. She was onto their
scheme. -Pec6'S S7LR.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-04-19
He Was Used 10 Ii.


large book under his arm, inserted
his nose under the orifice through which
railroad tickets at the union depot at
Austin are sold.
What can do for you?' asked Pete
Lawless, the genial ticket agent.
How much does ticket to Dallas
cost?'
Seven dollars and fifty cents
We'll, I've got all but the seven dol
lars
That's hardly enough
q ook here. my friend, I'm a book
agent and got roped into little game
of poker and want to get out OF town.
Now, if stay here I'll have to drum,
and IN terror. I've talked lots of
people into the lunatic asylum You
don't want me TO talk you silly, do
youP'
Suppose you try
In the interests of the people of Aus
tin you want to help me leave this town.
NV staying here a week will retard its
growth ten years
so you really are a book agent.
What book are YOU selling"
A galvanized smile spread over the
man ldCC, llht Il lOJ vi bullNl VII - llOb
batter cake, and in a sing-Song voice he
remarked:
Il am Offering the public, in seventeen
volumes - r.Bumblebee' S Observations
in Palestine" book that should be in
every household, book that not only
contains the views of the learned savant
on what he saw in the Holy Land,
but numerous speculations and theo-
ries about what he did not see, alto
gether forming complete library Of
deep research, pure theology and chaste
imagery am not selling this incom-
parable encyclopaedia, but am swing
it away at a rid ulou,ly low tigure"
he agent pau ed. Re expected that
the ticket agent would be bored, but
he was not On the contrary he seemed
TO b. amused and pleased.
"Hadn't you better give me n ticket
instead of having me talk you &c
death?n
Talk me to death! Why, man alive,
1 like TO hear it. Say that over
"Say it over?" queried the bewilder
ed book agent
Yes; | was book agent myself
before | went into the railroad business
and what you say Is mu &c TO me. II
calls back hallowed memories of the
past and makes me want to 90 on the
road again. WHY, man alive, | could
listen TO YOU all day. | wouldn't have
you leave Austin for anything. Come
around every day, and we will swoE
experiences.
The book agent closed his book wi I'll
| n bang. and faded away like Il beauti.
full dream in the direction OF saloor
where they set out fire, lunch. He haC
met his match for once.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-04-19
The Poem VIII Live Anyway

Some of the relatives of the late Bar
bara fretchie in Frederick, Md, re-
Gently sent John G. Whittier, who
immortalized the venerable lady in
verse, a number of table articles which
formerly belonged to Mrs. Frietchie,
Mr.. Whittier acknowledged the receipt
of the articles some days ago, and
stated in his letter that he had become
convinced that his poem entitled "Bar-
bara Frietchie' was based upon II sup
posed incident that had no foundation,
but that he was glad to know, never
theless that she was a loyal woman
Baltimore Sun.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-04-19
PEARLY FINGER TIPS.
Washington IL Great I'Iace for
Manicures and Fine Hands.

Washington IL IA Great IIace for
Manicures and Fine Hands
The members of the French legation
have the best kept hands of any menin
Washington.
This is on the authority of a local
manicure, as she addressed herself ar
tistcally to the rcportorial finger nails.
There's hardly man in the embassy
whose iingertps arc not as brilliant as
mother of pearl. They go to the mani
cures as regularly as to barbars Why
shouldn' they? Man curing is French
art, and patriotism alone would lead
them TO favor it.
In this city men are better patrons
of manicures than are women.
The artste DIES mains drew aside
porcupinequill portiere and showed Il
hansomely furnished apartment in
which several well-known men were
awaiting their turn at the manicur nj
cushion.
eth s. is our smoking room," she
said Our art has found such favor
among the masculine element that it
was necessary to provide thus for our
men patrons.
How do you account for the pre-
dominance of men among your custom
ersP'
"I think it's because women learn the
arts themselves and pract Sc it at home.
Miss Cleveland took clever way OF
availing herself of the art She sent
her maid to be treated. The maid was
observing and initiative. and afterward
dressed her lady's hand in the most
approved fashion. But Miss Cleve-
land didn't profit much by her ruse, for
the maid demanded the wages of skill
ed labor, and when this was refused
her gave up her situation and opened
manicural parlors.
alt is surprising how pretty fingers
please even the great of the land. Not
long ago n representative from one OF
the Cuff States happened in my par
lors. Washington civilization had
pnched his toes, and, in consequence.
he had a corn to be treated. After |
had placed h m properly on his feet he
paid me literally, and said he guessed
he would hurry over and sec the Presi-
dent on business | glanced Mt his
hands. each finger Of which carried n
much chewcd nail. | suggested that
he submit to manicuring. but h. didn't
appear to understand what / meant |
finished off finger for him. 1t took
his fancy exactly. and now he exhibits
10 gliltering gems ut his finger ends
whenever he removes his gloves.
The nger-decorative fad has prob.
ably reached higher development in
Washington than in any other Amer
lean city. At fashionable school in
this city nail culture is almost 81 part of
the curriculum. and the boarders are
visited regularly by manicure and in
| structed in the mvster es of unequal adj
ornment. Mrs James Brown Potter
was noted, while in Washington So
cety. for the beauty of her finger tips,
and did much 10 increase tho popular
! ity of this peculiar art
Mrs. Cleveland Yields her own pol
isseur dies ongles. but public recep-
ton with its handgrasping always un-
does much careful manicural work.
During Arthur's administration mani
cure made regular visits to the White
House. and from that time nail garni-
ture at the capital dates its largest
popularity.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-04-19
"a SONG OF THE ROAD"

The gauger walked with willing foot,
And aye the gauger played the lutte;
And what should master gauger play
But 'NOver the Hills and Far Away"
Whenever | buckle on my pack
And foot 10 gaily on the track,
q pleasant gauger, long since dead,
L hear you playing on ahead.
You go with me the self-same way
The self same air for me to play;
For | do think, and so do you,
1t is the tune TO travel tn.
For who would gravely set his face
TO go to this or tother place?
There's nothing under heaven so blue
That's fairly worth the travelling to.
On every hand the roads begin,
And people walk with zeal therein;
But wheresoe FER the highways tend,
Be sure there's nothing at the end.
Then follow you wherever HE
The travelling mountains of the sky;
Or let the streams in civic mode
Direct your choice upon the road.
For one and all, or high or low,
viii lead you where you wish to 60;
And one and all, go night and day,
cover the Hills and Far Away"
Robert Louis Stevenson.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-04-19
The Luck OF Women.

Women are exempt from military
service, from serving on jur,es, and oh,
inestimable freedom, from the possibility
of election to the city council, to the
legislature or to congress. OF course
women pay taxes, but these they can
escape by selling their property and Civ
ing to the poor. Strange as it may APP
pear, the burden of paying taxes is one
from which nobody seeks immunity in
the most obvious way. When women
own property they outswear men IN
their frantic efforts to evade the asses
sor, and they have been known to de-
clare upon their sacred word and honor
that their household furniture was not
worth mentioning, when it would take
the wealth of Rothschild to pay for
the rug on which they stood while TAX
ing the oath. Chicago News.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-04-19
HE LOST INTEREST.

When able to sit up the Judge was
driven to hotel on Forty-second street,
where he slowly con galesced. Finally,
being able to return home, he be-
thought him that it would be of inter
est, as farewell study of New York,
to travel few blocks on the elevated
road. Hard Times Landing has no
elevated road yet, and there are pessi-
mistic persons living in adjacent and
envious towns who say that she never
will need one; but the Judge is a man
of forethought and considers that even
if town to-day cannot support two
bobtailed ears aud four mules. the day
may come when elevated roads and
even a steam-heating company may be
public necessities.
The Judge entered the city at Forty
second street, and boarded the elevated
road at Sixth avenue. He desired to
90 to Twenty-thIrd street and asked the
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-04-19
Ewes Frozen Shut.

A singular effect of the gale and
snow, combined with the cold, was to
freeze the eyes shut, then form an ice
mask over the face. The wind would
drive the fine hard snow into the eyes,
causing them to water. The snow
would mix with the water between the
eye-lids, and the cold would at once
bind the lids together by an ice band.
The repeated removal of this would
nfame the eyeball so that film would
form obscuring the sight After this
film formed, the presence OF the ice
was relief to the iniiamcd eye. The
eye would soon be frozen so close that
nothing but steady artificial heat would
relieve it.
1t is also strange fact that those
rescued with eyes and entire lower part
of the face covered with the ice mask
did not suffer from frosted faces. Any
desperate attempt to remove the mask
resulted in removing the skin with it.
The mask over the lower part of the
face was formed by the breath from the
mouth and nostrils combining with the
snow. Many cattle that were lost met
their death through suffocation more
than through the immediate severity
of the storm. The ice masks formed
so thickly over their nostrils and on
their mouths as to suffocate them.
Imagine, if YOU can, frozen fog
driven with the velocity of a hurricane.
The air so full of minute frozen parti-
cles which strike your face like pin
heads fired from n musket that won
cannot see twenty feet ahead. and all
this in an atmosphere from 20 to 80 de-
groes below zero. and you can then
form as clear an idea of blizzard as
you'll ever care 10 get Its binding.
bowildering effect is first felt. The in
tense cold brings at first the pain of
'reezing, then numbness. then stupor,
then sense of blissful sleep. and
close upon its heols-death. - Dakota
correspondence.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-04-19

cityon the T :ri-ennal tour ofinspection,
and never before has there been such Il
brilliant series of man-traps ycarning
and vawning to embrace them. There
is not the 81 ghtest uanger that Col.
Higgins will make an investment in
this years crop of green goods, for he
placed $500 in those securities IN 1882
and $25l in 1855, upon one occasion
finding himself the proud possesSor of
a pressed brick and on the other bear
ing iOyouSly home a large bundle of
patent medicine dodgers for which he
had but little use.
Judge Pctersbv has no fear this sea-
son of being covly led into n bunco
enterprise for he has been caught that
way before and on the occas on of his
last visit fell into the lamentable error
of wallowing his own wife's brother,
who, by the old lady 5 instruct ons, had
introduced h rhself to the Judge upon
the latter's arrival at the Grand Central
station.
Naior Boggs launches himself into
metropolitan joys this year wthout any
danger from the large tropi al elephant
which he encountered in the iungles of
the Bowery upon the occasion of his
last visit, for not only did that sagacious
animal cost him all his money, his sal
walton and his silver watch, but likewise
ten days of sobriety, seclusion, industry
and repentance on the island.
The recent visit of Judge Wheeler of
Hard Times Landing La, was more
vivid with incident than is usual, and
the Judge has carried back with him
mora rnpOl cot Onl and ornipo olao SaO 4
excitement and court plaster than falls
to the average lot of sojourner in the
metropolis.
On the evening of his arrival the
Judge armed himself with II copy of
that powerful work entitled .Man-traps
of New York; or Sixth Avenue by Gas
light, " and started QUITO gather wisdom
on that popular thoroughfare.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-04-19
SOMETHING WRONG.

There happened to be a sleet-storm in
progress, aud on Sixth avenue, near
Ninth street few telegraph and tele-
phone wires were lying on the sidewalk
in loose tangle with "a 1000 volt cur
rent. The arc lights were out and the
Judge stepped into the iron web without
seeing it but at once his instinct told
him something was wrong, and his SUBJ
sequent activity and uproarious surprise
gave great JOY to the beholders.
The Judge returned to the hotel by q
short cut and employed two Tell boys to
sit up with him the rest OF the night -
one to hold him down and the other to
measure out the bromide.
The following morning after break
fast be remarked to the clerk that he
had heard so much Of the wonderful
growth of this city, he thought he
would 90 TO the suburbs on Thursday
and see her grow. { One Hundred and
Thirthieth street his attention was ar
rested by the earnestness with which two
large men were digging IA small hole in a
broad Harlemro The Judge watched
the process for fully an hour, but at
last when the blast went OF premature
" and both men departed in forty diff
ierent directions at once. he suddenly
lost both his interest and his breath,
acquired II large stone bruise on the
pit of his stomach, where he had no
use for il, and enjoyed twenty-four
consecutive hours of great comfort in
the hospital
His chief object in visiting New York
was to see the vast commercial inter-
ests of which he had read study the
wsys of transacting business and
endeavor TO arrive ut the true cause
which has mad this city greater
financial center thln Hard Times. The
Judge is profound thinker, keen
observer, and when he gives entire
iudici Il attention to any subject absorbs
like a bread poultice. is plan was to
see the handling of merchandise among
the woo esale men. and thus be able to
make stat stical comparison. which
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-04-19
lie GOT THERE.

brakeman to inform HIM when that
thoroughfare was reached Then he
sat down by the door and listened to
the Volapuk announcements made as
follows:
''Thirty I'm YAAP"
"TwonnyAAP"
"TwonnyaapAAPn'
"AteeyAAP!
The were all new streets to the
Judge, so he sat waiting for the an
nouncement. Other stations dashed
by.
"NI-I I! EreGkyerneckS ?"
The Judge got to be uneasy.
'FRAAGlun-n-pP"
"Chumbuzzr ~
The train took a short turn to the
left and then one to the right.
"PoRK PLACE."
The Judge legan to think something
was wrong. He addressed the brake
man.
"Say, young man, where is Twenty
third street,
Between twonny-seckt n tSonny-
fourt step lively"
But"
care yer goin' on er Off"
81 want to 90 to"
"Waal, whadder yer loafin' ferp"
Here the train began to move again.
"How far up is Twenty-thirdP"
Tree mile. Other track. Git off
der platform, Old Beeswax-gI on
thar"
The Judge re- entered the car and got
his vahse. Then he proceeded to the
rear of the train, got there just as the
train stopped, threw open the gate, got
his coat tails wedged in and soon was
in motion again.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-04-19
Gabriel's Horn.

AS illustrating the need of intelligent
church services in the South, | record
the following facts. which were related
to me by those who knew of them per-
sonally: A colored preacher of the
cold me" sort preached on the Judg-
ment Day. He arranged with worth
loss fellow to hide himself in the woods
Just outside the church with dinner
horn, with instructions to blow upon it
ut certain signal. AT the awful hour
of midnight, when, by entreaty and APP
peal and frightful figures of speech. the
preacher had worked the people into a
frenzy of excitement and terror, he ex-
claimed; Listen, / reckon L hear
Gabriel getting ready to blow now. Dc
last day am upon US, de judgment am
right here; whar you sinners nowP Lis
ten" just then there came n fearful
blast upon the stiffness of the midnight
air, and the scene that followed can be
imagined. Helter-skelter over the
benches and over each other the terri
fled people scrambled for the mourn
ers bench. The preacher boastfully
told afterward that "dar want scarcely
one sinner but what wah affected. -
american Missionary.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-04-19
Grnnndlnss SnnrrstitiOns.

There are thousands who believe il is
healthy to rise early in the morning
whereas it is hygienic crime for a man
to get up before he wants to. The dc
sire to sleep late in the morning IS one
of natures most emphatic limitations
that more time is needed for repairs.
For man to 90 TO work in the morning
in a sleepy semi co-Jatose condition, is
simply gradual suicide. Il ere is anoth-
er popular delusion that a man should
stop eating while he is yet hungry. He
might as well stop breathing before his
lungs were filled. Hunger is the bar
ometer that tells the state of the stomach.
A man is never hungry unless he ought
to eat. There is another delus on that
night air is unhealthy-as if anyone could
get anything but night air at night.
There is really no air so unhealthy as
day air bottled up and kept until night.
There has been no way discovered for
preserving air like huckleberries by
bottling. Yankee Blade.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-04-19
Luck.

"If the face in the moon
Wear frown-alas,
Luck will be poor till the month shall pass!
IL The face in the moon
Wear a smile-why, then,
Luck will be good, TIL it frowns again"
So runs verse
That | used TO say;
have learned 10, since,
In another way:
"If face be married
BY u fro n-alas,
Luck will be poor till the frown shall passl
If a smile be bright
With a smile-why, then,
Luck will be good till it frowns again"
IL the first be true
'Twould be hard to say;
But the last, II you,
You can prove each day.
- Vide AUake.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-04-19
lotters FOR the influential iour.

powerful letters for the influential jour-
nal of which he is one of the six owners
and one of the seventy subscribers,
detailing his experiences and remarklng
that with the sudden eruptions incident
to the Sareer of the ste m heating com
pany, the occasional falling of few
tons of pig iron from the elevated road,
the dropping of tre-proof safes from
seventh stories from time to time and
the intricate Snarls of travel and pro-
family which occur with pleasing fire.
quency on our principal thoroughfares,
combined with the fact that ice and
compound fractures are underfoot and
electric wires and pneumonia overhead,
the attractions of New YORK as awinter
resort for southerners cannot be too
highly priced.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-04-19
in motion again

His subsequent experience was brief
but emotional. Partly by the assist.
ance of the guard on the station, who
seized him by the heels, and partly by
his ingenuity IN unbutton ny his coat
and letting that esteemed garment go,
he escaped the necessity for continuing
with that train; but he had long and
somewhat heated discussion with his
rescuer, during which he acquired some
knowledge of elevated railroad etiquette
and likewise the acquaintance of cas-
ual officer of police. 1t took an hour
to smooth matters down, aud then the
Judge crossed to the uptown side,
waited for tho welcome cry of "Strain
fer Holluml got aboard, was carried
to Fifueth street before he suspected he
was near Twenty-third, and finally
walked down, fully impressed with the
merits of the system and its advantages
to strangers in the city.
Judge Wheeler has returned TO Hard
Times and is going to write series of
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-04-19

standing side by side in the middle of
the span, and weighing four hundred
tons-would be only per cent of dead
weight. In this way it is estimated
that under a passing train the bridge
will stand as stiff and firm as if the
train were not there. Wind is much
more serious calculation than the trains
as with the maximum pressure (ffty-six
pounds per square FOOT the large
spans be subject to an additional side
pressure of two thousand tons. The
widest margin, however, has been left
in all cases.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-04-19
In the City OF BrotherlY Love.

The meanest man on earth has been
found. He is q mill owner in this city,
whose name it is not necessary to give.
His father died last week. and he at
tended the funeral in company with
his only brother, whom he employed in
his mill at Sl2 week When pay day
came the younger brother found that
the time lost in burying the father had
been deducted from his wages by hia
brother. % Philadelphia Press.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-04-19

would be useful promoting commerce
in Hard Times. His first experience
was in the dry goods district on Frank
lin street, where in backing out of the
way of two-ton box, which came
down the inclined plane with great
violence and rapidity, he inadvertently
sat down upon another box, and carried
away upon his new light brown ulster
neat reverse of tho address which had
just been stencilled upon it in thick
and clinging ink. He then went down
to Park place, near the North river,
and in stepping across new toboggan
slide just laid from dray, was assault
ed by large corpulent barrel revolving
blithely down, and a minute later had
an opportunity of admiring the really
excellent ambulance system which
prevails in this city.