The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1888-10-10
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

In nutshell-Sweet meats.
Born to rule-A book-keeper
Notes of the day-Sight drafts.
Worth its weight in gold-Gold.
He "whoops 'em up'-The cooper.
Awaiting its turn-A buckwheat cake!
The bent of many mans inclination
is crooked
Lame men have ru1hing expenses the
same as other folks.
Keep your conscience but not your
farm void of fence.
Strange to say, elastic has its greatest
snap when it's "broke."
The bottom of a gun barrel is always a
good base for charge.
The chief disease of miser is attacks
of tghtness of the chest.
Paste diamonds are so called because
people get stuck on them so often.
When a physician loses his skill it
naturally follows thot he is out of prac-
tice.
An imposing sight-A street fakir
selling brass watch cases as solid gold
watches.
Shakespeare advised his readers to
throw physic to the dogs. He is silent
about cats.
A little uptown boy is so fond of
whipped cream that he licks the dish.-
brakes Magazine.
Big Head is the name of q prominent
Sioux Chief. His Sioux-de-nym as it
were.-Ptiiadelphia Press.
Some men are born witty. Others
have good memory and some witty
friends. .-Somerciite Journal.
Determining the weight of an eel is all
guess work. lou can't weigh fish
without scales. - Ottatoa Be.
Signor Casus Bclli, the celebrated
Italian, is still trying to foment trouble
in Europe. Detroit Free Press.
The sweet girl graduate about this
time is getting sour over the kitchen
range, learning how to cook. -Someroilts
Journal.
"Poor childless wishw exclaimed
Fogg, when Henderson spoke of his wish
being father to his thought. Boston
transcript.
Blobson-'Don't you think that
Dempsey rather plays the fool" Popin-
L
job. b."-Burliagton Free Press.
'I am so glad your sister enjoyed her
visit to us, Mr. Smith" "Oh, well, you
know, she is the sort of girl who can en-
JOY herself anywhere, you now."-LitS.
81 love you, dear!" the young man said,
"Oh, will You be my wifein
The maiden dropped her modest head
And whispered, "Bet your lifeln
--SomerUitte Jct,FAaL
Probably there is nothing in the
world that man reseuts so quickly aud
so deeply as to find you awfully busy
when he is perfectly at leisure.-StOe and
Leather R7 Orter.
Do not let your overweening modesty
prevent you from recording your own
good deeds. A real estate man lost a
fortune once through an unrecorded
deed. .-Harpey's Bdsar.
Hopeful Youth els Miss De Cash
in?" Seryant-"Yis, sor." Hopeful
youth-'Is she engagedp Servant
"Yis, sor; but he isn't here this avenin'.
Come n."-THe Cartoon.
500 you understand much about arbor
culture I" asked Labatt of friend. "Yes,
| think / do" "Wel, | want TO ask
you question: Are all forest trees
seeders !'-Terds SJtiHgs.
Says novelist of to day, describing an
interview between lovers: Between
them there passed an ecstatic kiss" And
neither of them got it Aw, what muffs
they must have been. -Buriette.
You can't weigh grams with grammar,
Nor sugar cure hams with hammer
Do sums with a summer,
Stew plums with plumber,
shn g,lN ~ "a
-SgFiHGfsld tHiOH.
Dentist-''Well, how do the new teeth
workGn Patient-"Not very well. They
seem to cut the others.n DentiSt-"That
is perfectly natural. They belong to an
entirely different set, you know. San
FHtnciScO EfamiHeI.
Al SEA on his yacht, with a fair lady by him;
He aske for kiss, but she chose to deny
Not here, cried the lady, in tones full of
mirth,
Though have not the slightest objection
on EARTH
Visitor at Cannon Foundry-"This is
all grand, stupendous, astounding. But
where will your occupation be when
universal peace prevails" Proprietor Of
Works-"Casting cannon to celebrate it
with, Sir. - Chicago Tribune.
If you think my legs eccentric
said the grasshOpper TO the bee,
" And my forehead queerly pointed
Where the brain box ought TO be;
That my mouth has feeble motions
Whence dark mysteries do exude,
Please to know | once existed
As a Pythasorean dude
-JudJr.