The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1888-02-19

any medicine which was more 4 sag reeable than
the gluey shell of an adult capsule, which looks
nightmare
/ doubt the good taste of any one who will
turn MP his nose at castor oil t,r quinine and
yet meekly swallow chrysalis wi III varnish on
tine outside.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Father-what do you think OF boy that
throws a banana skin on the sdewaIk2
Son-I don't know. What do you think Of a
banana skin that throws q man on tha sidewalk
The Next Thing in Illustration.
Bereaved widower Ito office boy)-Tllere is the
obituary notice of my wife. Will you see that
ONCE boy-Yes, sir Do you want it illus
trateda
Needs Gentle Handling.
Mr. Sissy (who has just bought yellow
monkey red stick for his little ora'sher i
Aw, this toy is not very durable, fancy, awf
Pretty Shop Girl (demurely)-With proper
care. sir, it ought to last you long time.
Taking a Fresh Start.
.sClara," said the old man from the head Of
the stairs. s.hasn't that young man gone yete"
Your daughter isn't. here. SIR feebiy re,
into the kitchen to fill and trim the lamp"
The Cause of His Ascendency.
Clara-Have you noticed the complete control
that cross old uncle of Hattie's has over her3
What will he must have
Julia-He has indeed; and Hattie's awtully
afraid she'll be left out of IL.
An Indication of Success.
New York Epoch.
Stranger Ito Kansas City citizen): 'Do on
know if the two Sans have been successful in
their evangelical labors heref'
Citizen: "Yes. sir. They nave met with
glorious success I hear botn have been looking
at corner lots"
Disturbs His SAUNDERS.
New York sun.
Deacon's Wife lat late breakfast Sunday
mornine)-Will you have another cupof coffee,
my dearl
Deacon-No; I've barely time to get ready
for church, and besides, second cup of coffee
keeps me awake.
Mr. Gotham latter the performance of julius
Casar)--And you were pleased, Miss Breezy
Miss Breezy (of Chicago)- -Delighted with the
whole performance, MIR. Gotham, and much
obliged to YOU. l think Marc Antony's Grafton
over C5esars body was the cutest thing I ever
Undecided.
Hartford Rosb.
al want your advice very much, Cicely. dear.
Would you buy seal or a seal plush cloak, II
you were in my placer
We'll, of course, can't say. Seals are grow
ing scarcer every year"
''But hear that they are not killing SO many
pushes this year as usual"
Not as Artistic as Usual
Tid-Bits s.
Miss Porcine (of Chicago)-Iwas at your Office
this morning. papa but finding you out. l
M i;tS "a tha killing denart.
ment.
Mr.. Porcine-Yesl
Miss Porcine-Yes. papa and it struck me
that Mr. Slaughter wasn't quite at his best to-
day.
Omaha Man-Think Dakota will come in as
two States, eh?
Dakota Man-There is only trouble about
it, and that is the name. Upper and Lower
Dakota can't agree on which shall take a new
name.
Splendid idea! Splendid ideal What would
.sWeii, call the lower half simply Kota. That's
a pretty enough name"
YES. Then call the upper half Overcoa ta
Getting His Deserts.
''we shall need about three tons more sulphur
for pit 537" said one of the subordinate DEVILS
land half a load of birthstone. and new poker.
There's a tough consignment just sent down
two murderers, Anarchist, incendiary,
and a conversational punster."
lis he one of the kind that makes puns on
peoples names2" asked the head of the establish
ment. meditat1vely."
'Yes."
ssWell" said the chief: ST hate to waste
sulphur, but guess you can give him pit all
by himself"
THE LITTLE FOLKS.
Puzzled.
Boston Globe.
Hattie Symonds, little four-year-old, upon
seeing lady who. having fever. obliged
to have her hair shingled like mans, dis
tinguished the lady from her husband by say
ing 1.-The Mr. Huntly that wears dresses and the
Mr.. Huntly that wears pants"
Necessity the Mother of Propriety.
st. Adams, VT, Me ssenger.
A nius-year-old boy in a neighboring town in
this county was thus addressed one day by his
mother, after some visitors had left the house,
''Why, how we'll you behaved, my son, while
the callers were in" Quoth the dutiful son: II
had to- mother. My trousers were ripped"
The Secret of His Success.
Detroit Free Press
Burt twelve years DID, He came home
from Sunday school one day, and said he had
taught class of little boys.
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