The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1888-01-22
BILL NYE IN BUSINESS.
His Importation of Butter and the Core
spondence Relating Thereto.

His Importation of Butter and the Corre-
spondence Relating Thereto.
New York World.
Some years ago, while engaged in the act of
growing mp with the country, discovered that
the price of butter was being bulled in the West
ern market and that choice Nebraska butter,
with dark circles under its eyes. was worth forty
cents Wyoming did not produce butter enough
for home consumption. Being a stock-growing
country exclusively, we condensed milk and
bought our butter of Nebraska. and may add
that Nebraska ate her best butter herself, ship
ping West that variety which had been taken in
trade at the Indian. agencies. 1t was q
dappled variety of butter, with scalp
lock on it and highly treacherous. Though
pale and istless generally, if aroused or trodden
upon it had the superhuman strength of a ma
MAC. It such butter as frontier traders get
in return for whisky. Some idea of the hidden
force contained in this grocery may be obtained
when we remember that frontier whisky is fire.
learned to dislike this butter passionately. and
sent East for some to be shipped by rail at once
blu tier that was made from real cream distilled
i received notice that the butter had been
shipped. Part of it arrived. Only twenty
pounds out of eighty, but the freight bill on the
whole amount got IN one day ahead OF the
twenty pound tub.
paid the bill. and not knowing any of the
officials but the general passenger agent, with
whom had held some correspondence wrote
him. He wrote me coldly, by means of a long
primer editorial, that such claims should go to
the general freight agent. +! wrote to the gen.
asking him to return the butter; that liked fun
just well anybody. but that it had gone far
enough, or at least part of it had. and that II he
would send on the rest before 1T acquired that
peculiar bouquet which comes to butter when it
is in its full meridian. would be obliged.
He wrote me asking for the bin of lading or
wavbili manifest whatever it was, stating
also that the letter was dictated. / had a long
correspondence with him. extending over a
number n,! of years, and throughous . the whole
never came right out and said that these were
his sentiments but always claimed that each
was a dictated letter. He did not tell me who
In the meantime my butter was probably
side-tracke1 in a small place. seeking madly to
get out and shrieking for air. was going to
say wildly tearing its hair, but it was not that
kind of butter.
The general freight agent wrote me at last he
had sent tracer after it. | went home and
told my wifi that the general freight agent had
sent tracer and a St Bernard dog out IN search
of our butter.
Some time then elapsed, though we had been
eating bacon gravy on our bread two years.
when a letter from the general freight Office,
addressed in beautiful Spencerian hand. with
bloated capitals, was received and contents
noted. In business correspondence contents are
almost inv arabiy noted The general said that
the tracer had just returned, though fatgued.
judged from the wonderful word painting of
the letter. In my minds eye l could see the
tracer with it's tongue out about four inches.
sinking down exhausted in the general freight
Office.
had demonstrated the fact that the butter
lost!
I had often feared it myself had frequently
dreamed that my butter in lost and
done condition. 1 wrote again and asked the
general if he could not Oh loose some more
facts like that by twisting the tail of tracer. I
said it in a sneering way, for was mad.
He wrote once more to state that the matter
had been turned over to the auditor, and that
he begged leave to subscribe himself my friend
and well wisher and to repeat with even greater
earnestness than ever before that this was
dictated letter.
then studied tho style and photography.
syntax and prosody of the auditor. He re-
proved sharply for sending far away
after butter and then went to Florida to seek
much needed rest then fell into the hands of
the first assistant auditor who enjoyed signing
his to statements which did not in any
way compromise him.
But must be brief cannot enter into de-
tails. know there was long discussion
the question whether the conSignor had released
the butter not and if whether the
signor or consignee would be liable for damage
done by released butter while in transitu.
/ never got the butter. but obtained terse
English style of erecting Gothic sentences,
banked up with odd little three-cornered adjec-
tives, that 1 could have secured in other way.
I was paid for the butter at last, but when my
grandchildren climb my knee as write these
lines and ask what it was that made my affluent
hair white, while my face is still so young
and SO fair tell them this story.
Bill. NyE