The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1888-07-04
A wild Western Wedding.

II appears that one Jonas Burton had
been chosen Justice Of the Peace Of one
of the small Wyoming towns, not because
he was possessed Of any special lualifiea-
tions for the office. but on account Of his
personal magnetism, which had about it
all those qualities which 90 to make the
yellow dog a thing Of beauty and joy
forever to the lovers of pure cussedness.
Among other functions of his office Hon
Jonas one day found himself called
upon IN join in bonds of paddock, as
matrimony is sometimes called in the
West, raw young couple from up the
country.
His honor was appalled, st the situation
He could commit IA horse thief To the gal
lows with all the elegance and impress
ivnesS Of manner which that act demand
ed. He could sentence a man to Jail for
life for holding five aces in his hand at
poker, without turning a hair. but as
MARVIN folks he wasn't in it. be gosh
tlemitely But as Justice Of the Peace
he had to do il, and his perturbation of
spirit was dreadful to witness.
About an hour before the ceremony
took place the correspondent, aceompan-
led by one Of the leading citizens Of the
place, Mr.. stiles, was sent to the squire's
cabin and found him pouring over a
large volume Of the statutes ofWyoming,
yeating like horse, and looking terri
bly, anxious. After greeting the callers
he said
stiles, the durned galoots that got up
these yer laws hadn't gump:ion enough
TO last them over night. I've run through
the blamed book half dozen times. an
can't find a dod blasted word abou; mat
ermoney, or how the hitchin' process is
proceeded with. I've just got to put the
clamps on this couple, hit or miss, an ef
l don't yoke 'em up legal can't help
it."
"Oh,7 - said stiles, Just do the best you
can. Any kind Of a ceremony will do in
this country, for people never qustion the
Legality of the thing. III post youas well
as | can"
Stiles then explained 10 him about how
ne should proceed, and the old man
thought, finally, he could worry through
it. Ere long the couple appeared, follow
by a crowd Of the citizens of the camp.
The candidates stood up before the old
squire. who said
Feller citizens, this yer man an this
yar. woman have appeared before this
court to be hitched in the legal bands of
wedlock. Ifany galoot in the mob knows
ofanything that mout block the game eff
tux to higher court, let him now toot
his bazoo, or else keep his jaw to himself
now and forever more. al in favor O.
me proceeiin' as authorized by law say
Il"
Everybody said l."
Contrary, no"
Nobody said, no"
The motion is carried unanimously,
an the court rulesthat thar hain't nuthin'
to pteyent the tryin' Of the case. Grip
you fins" The candidates joined hands.
Amos Peabody, do you solemnly swa'ar
thet You'll freeze to Mandy fareyer an
even? Thet ye'll love 'er and peryide fer
Ter. an treat 'er square an white, accord
in 10 the rules and regulations sot down
to govern sich eases in the laws o. the
United States, 50 help you God?"
q" Yaas, sir; do, sir"
That fixes your end o. the bargain.
Mandy Thomas do you solemnly swa'ar
thet yen hang on to Amos for all comm
time; thet ye'll nuss him in sickness and
be square to him 4 good, true, honest, up
an up wife, under the penalty prescribed
by the laws, for the punishment Of sich
Ofense; do We swar'ar this, so help you
God?
! swa'ar ! will
"Then 10y the power in me vested as
justice o. the peace, in an fur this pre-
cinct, pronounce YOU Amos Peabody,
husband, an you, Mandy Thomas, wife
an legalize ye TO remain as such now, an
furevennore; an yen stand committed
till the fees an an costs in the case be
paid in full, an may God have mercy on
your souls, and bless this union with his
heftiest blessin's'
The fees and costs were adjusted, and,
after receiving the congratulations Of the
assembly, the newly made husband and
wife departed for the cabin up the creek.