davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Springdale news., 1888-08-03
HUMOROUS.

An author was recently asked for a list of the best hundred books. With calm courtesy he replied that he had not yet written quite hundred.- HeStefn Rural.
 Teacher 0o elass) In this stanza, what is meant by the line: The shades of night were falling fast2' Bright scholar - The people were pulling down the blinds. -Puek.
 -Mr Cumso-'' saw an obese wom- an as l cane Mrs Cumso Gnter- ruptingl -" Well, l think it's about time they stopped the immigration of these vile foreigners. .''-4merica
 =" Are you a man of family, sir?' he said to timid little chap who had Il nervous way of looking over his shoul- der. Yes, sir. was the reply; my wife has husband and four children.
 -Scapegrace Son Introducing his old father to young lady Miss Gladys the author of my being Old Gentleman (bowing) A work that has been much criticised. - Harper'S Magaziae.
 They were seated at the suppol table and speaking about the different sorts Of fruit, each one had prefer ence. Little Ruth, who was the last to speak. said: Il like all kinds of fruit but hush VI Detroa Free Press.
 Mrs Guzzler-"WHl you be home to dinner, dear2" Guzzler@"No; inn portant business; downtown late v Mrs G. What q pity and We are go- ing to have such nice rum omelet . Guzzler@"Ill be home ToeH Top ies.
 Mir. Ham (the eminent tragedian) -"The dramatic profession ill this country, my dear sir, is making rapid strides Dear Sir (much impressed) Yes, suppose it has to at times, to get out of the way of trains. H-Id- BttS
 Mistress Bridget, where is that picture of Psyche that belongs in the i front parlor?n Bridget Och, it's mesiH. mum, that forgot to bring it back. l was fixin' me hair fer church this marnin', an l left it in me own room. e- Time.
 Deacon (to country minister)-" I s'pese, parsen. that the advance in your salary from five hundred to six hupdred dollars will be a big help to you. Minister - ]" Yes, indeed; the additional one hundred dollars will en- able me to hire man to collect the five hundred dollars. ''-Hdrper's Bazar.
 Uncle Rastus (to postmaster)- Has yo got enny letters fo' me, boss?" Postmaster-',N Nothing to-day, Uncle Rastus.o Uncle Rastus-"No postal-kialds, or stamps, or nuthin ?" Postnaster-.'No; were you expecting to hear from somebody?' Uncle Ras- tus-''No, 1 don expec' ter hear from nobody, sah, but l was parsin by an thought wud jess step in an pat- ronize de establishment.
The Springdale news., 1888-08-03
Some Misleading Names.


 The tuberose is no rose, but d species of olyanth.
 Pompey's pillar had no historical connection with Pompey in any way.
 Cleopatra needle was not erected by the Egyptian Queen, nor in her honor
 Whalebone k not bone, and is said not to possess a single property of bone
 Turkish baths did not originate in Turkey, and are not baths, only heated chambers.
 German silver was not invented in Germany, and does not contain parti- cle of silver
 Black lead is not lead at all, but a compound of carbon and a small quan- tity of iron.
 Brazilian grass never grew in Brazil, and is not grass; it is nothing but strips of palm leaf
 Burgundy pitch is not pitch, and does not come from Burgundy, the greater part of it is resin and palm oil
 Sealing wax does not contain par ticle of wax, but is composed of Venice turpentine, shellac and cinnabar
 Cutie bone is not bone, but kind of chalk once inclosed in the fossil re mains of extinct specimens of cuttle- fish.
 Prussian blue has no special relation to Prussia, but is a cyanide of potas- sium and iron Prussie acid was for merly obtained from it. - Notes aud Queries
The Springdale news., 1888-08-03

perienee or Captain H. J. Sargent abundantly justifies trial for this pur- pose, for if would not be untrue to say that he saved at least two tons of hay last season from the acre he has south of his residence. In Virginia lucern is grown for green soiling, and always fed green, except in such cases as ex- cess of green forage, when it is cut and cured. Lucern can be cut for hay as often as three times if the season be favorable; yet it is not advisable to cut more than twice, as late and too ire quent cutting might retard the winter growth. Ii should never be grazed, and should have a top dressing every year, about March l, Of land plaster and superphosphate It will last five or six years, and is good fer horses. mules, cows, and hogs, Try even a small spot
The Springdale news., 1888-08-03
IN MiRTHrUL MOOD.

WE haven't any kings and queens in this country; we have bosses.
 A SCIENTIST says wasp may be picked up if it is done quietly. Yes it is when the wasp is laid down again that the noiso begins.
 RECKLESS of photography, an impassioned swain wrote; Mary, I love the Nyellr' She replied that she was glad he was tee totaler
 You never hear the bee complain,
 Nor hear it weep nor wall
 But If it wish 1t can unfold
 very painful tail
 NERVOUS lady passenger in the train, after passing temporary bridee1-" Thank goodness, we are now on terra ffrma P Faeetious gentleman-"Y Yes, ma,am, less terror and moro hrmerai
 SOME idiot has put that pen where | can't find Il r growed old Asperity the other day, as he rooted about the desk Ah, um, yes thought so,n he continued in lower key, as he hanled the art cle from behind his ear.
 "THE sun is all very well, T said an Irish man, "but the moon is worth two of it. for tho moon affords us light in the nighttime, when we want it, whereas the sun with as in the daytime, when VIC haze no occa- sion for it."
 AS Eastern editor remarks: Girls who can play Gospel Hymns on the piano with the windows open Sunday afternoon arc greatly wanted in the Western mining towns. At least, they arc not wanted here. -
 MY dear Amelia, sad dandy, " I have long wished for this opportunity, hut hardly dare speak now, for fear yon will reject me l; but love you-say, will you be mine3 You would be to me every thing desirable your smiles would she'd Here he came 10 pause" your smiles would shed v and again came to stop Never mind the wood shed,' exclaimed Amelia; 20 oa with the pretty talk
The Springdale news., 1888-08-03
PERSONAL. AND LITERARY.

Mir. Dana, of the New York Snn, values his newspaper property at 5000 o0o.
 It is said that the Century Magaztne receives an average of 1000 manu- scripts monthfrom literary aspirants.
 MT Henry C. Lea, sometime pub fisher and now author and antiquarian, has one of the largest libraries in Phila- delphia, and spends most of his time among his books.
 The new Japanese Minister at Washington was in 1877 sent to prison for five years for political offense. During his confinement he translated John Stuart Mills works on political economy into Japanese.
 Every year writers in this country use or lose one hundred million steel pens Comparatively few of these are imported now, and those who buy for eign-made pens pay more and get a poorer article than if they bought the American.
 Colonel Robert G, Ingersoll, refer ring to recent insinuations that he had been guilty of plagiarism, offers re- ward Of ten thousand dollars to any one who will find a sentence in any book which has been appropriated by him in public speech.
 In the library Of Dr. Williams, in London. is q copy of the Bible in shorthand Ii is eXquisitely written, and is said to have belonged to an ap- prentice of the time of James H., who feared that the Bible was about 10 be prohibited, and so wrote this copy.
 The American work of fiction that has had the greatest sale is Mrs. Stoves : "Unele Toms Cabin. Next to H comes The Lampighter, Boston school-teacher' work. that has been through two hundred editions of one thousand copies each. The third book on the list Of successes is Habberton' : Helen's Babies.
 MT Edison latest invention, the phonograph, is his most marvellous, for it not only records speech, but re- peats it. Ii is now perfected for ordi- nary use, and test exhibition was re- gently given before company Of elec- tricians and others in New York, which was thoroughly successful. It is said of Edison that he can invent and die tate letters at the same time; that his brain works as easily in one direction as the other.
 London Truth is in a state Of mind because noveiists will never refer to a hand pure and simPles it always must be gloved hand or an "un, gloved hand Truth says and inti. mates that the next thing in order is to find the boys of fiction bathing with "unshod feet and playing football with shod one-, while the dying heroine in the last chapter may bt expected 10 turn her ]. lovely. unbon neted head on the snowy pillow ant the hero to walk down Pail Mall witt his intellectual head magnifcentl4 halted. 9
 -A correspondent recently asked Mr Ruskin his views and practice re gardine the Sacrament Of the Lords Supper Ny dear sir. replied tht illustrious critic and moralist, '. gladly take the bread water wine ol meat of the Lord 's Supper with mem bers of any family or nation who obey Him; and should be equally sure i was His giving = if l were myseI worthy to receive it-whether the in termediate mortal hand were tho Popes, the Queens or hedge-sid, i gypsy $.
The Springdale news., 1888-08-03
Wealth in the LobloIly Pine.

Among the new enterprises l want to mention the chemical works which manufacture things never dreamed of before, out of wood. We have kind of pine here ill Alabama known is old field or loblolly pine, and which has heretofore heen considered almost worthless but from one cord of this wood these works made forty-eight bushels of coal. several gallons Of tar, a quantity of rosin and one or two gallons of alcohol, also an essence of rare medicinal virtue-G. C. |. DH, ta the Great South.
The Springdale news., 1888-08-03
TO A CHILD.

Oh. my child my pure and perfect man-ehild, With the light of Heaven in your eyes. And your yellow hair like glory resting Der face so angel-sweet and wise, Oh, my child hold your hand and tremble When thinl of all that you must meet On the way, where there IS naught to guide you Save my clouded eyes and stumbling feet All the nobleness that sleeps within you Watts my touch 10 walxen into grace; An, the man you will be haunts my futura With reproaeh not love, upon his faeeI Is the gardener not appalled, and daunted When he sees but lifeless twigs, and knows That within the bare, brown things there slum-
 bers,
 Waiting for his waking hand, the rose? So fear, from fingers all unsknlful, some rude touch your perfect growth may
 mar:
 If the pruning knife slip but little You must carry, all your life, a scar. oh, p's child, unknown, unconscious currents Meet and mingle in your young warm blood i; So. God help me when your soul shall blossom, And-God help me should blight it's bud.
 4merieaH Hagazi1te
The Springdale news., 1888-08-03
 TRAIN AND TRACK TAX.

TIE loss of life on railroads averages ono in ten millions.
 TnE average daily earnings nf an Ameri. lean locomotive are about 100
 TIE cost of palace sleepiug.ear is about sl5e00, ar Eff, ,o09 if vestlbuled.
 THe Denver S Rio Grande railroad goes over Marshall Pass al height of fo,s52 feet.
The Springdale news., 1888-08-03
A Ministerial Reproof.

Minister (mildly) been want ing to see you, Mr. Kurd, in regard to the quality of milk with which you are serving me.
 Milkman (rneasily)-Yes, sir.
 Minister (very mildly)-I only want ed to say Mr. Kurd, that use the milk for dietary purposes exclusively, and not for christening N l. Saa.
The Springdale news., 1888-08-03
You're Too Yellow. perhaps7

Then look out for your liver, for 1t is ap- preaching serious congestion. Banish the saffron hue from your skin and eyeballsf tne fur from your tongue, the uneasy sensaiobs from your right side with that pleasant and painless laxative and anti-bilious medicine, Hostetter's Stomach Btters, which If, more over, you are threatened with kidney trou. ble or fever aud ague, will prevent them.
The Springdale news., 1888-08-03
S93 SeViDg Machine Free ,!

We wsnt village snd township tr betpin theif homes line of AFT SAMPLES thoss who will snd upiF thn.. call. VT vii seud the fsy hett Sewing hsehas manufactured m ihH Narla with a he hmsns This maehine mats arT the stsGgh patents h have expired Before patents hik ssle the for SF 1t uHW .FS tur SF Header. tmaF ths
 WONDERFUL THING ON EARTH, but gaa of thrsc hEnst ABsuHfTEI fHkE provided application inst, from locality and f win hams and she a these she esi af -lsFsn
 eqaslsd au samples M do yau res for than onth and thea they become onpopeffy ihe art samples sent to ABSOLUTELY fkEk ofcost How all his1essy eueukht We e.n much s2Ho s3Ht in trade place. after samples hsye remained could he
 month or Two Ntnesd one person in sseh loesr all ihc country mad takr this Of them Those who wtto " secure the best Sewing Aafhns e;ard and Inc Of ~nrs Of high shenn together in America All particular ftEE hf mail Write esfd which ne will you hut .nd sfcr rou know sli shoHid conclude further why done Wonderful need esritsisil Is f..
 Address al enes. TKIE < co, AEsgsIs MAIZE.
The Springdale news., 1888-08-03

THE Still Aiarm-expected seizure of Illicit whisky-T Telas S9lfngs
The Springdale news., 1888-08-03

TaE mosquito is no prohibitionist; he is lead set against closing the bars. .-Teras SfftfngS
The Springdale news., 1888-08-03

A POSITIVE certainty of relief IS afforded in slSin diseases by Gienn's Sulphur Soap HiH's Hair and Whisk ker Dye, 50c.
The Springdale news., 1888-08-03

WHEN you come to the matter of fans, the Japanese take the palm. Pttek.
The Springdale news., 1888-08-03

THE man who lisps has 10 faith in girls. He calls every Miss q myth Westboronga Chronotgpe.
The Springdale news., 1888-08-03

IF afflicted with Sore Eyes use Dr Isaac Thompson s Eye Water Druggists sell it.25c.
The Springdale news., 1888-08-03
The Best Test of Success Is Success

Tested and proved by over twenty five years' use in all parts of the world, ALLcocKs PoRors PLAsfERs have the in dorsement of the highest medical and chemical authorities, and millions of grate- ful patients who have been cured of dis tressing ailments voluntarily testify to their merits.
 ALIcocK's PoRors PLAsrERs arc purely vegetable. They are mild but effective, sure and quick in their action, and abso- lutely harmless.
 Beware of limitations, and do not be dc ceived by misrepresentation.
 Ask for ALLcocKis, and let no explanation or solicitation induce you to accept a sub stitute
The Springdale news., 1888-08-03

"suEXcF is the severest criticism, a but men have been known to be willing that their wives should critese their faults that way.-SoaefuHle Jotuaal
The Springdale news., 1888-08-03

FREE X 3-foot French Glass, Oval Front, Niekle or Cherry Cigar Case. MFR CHANTS ONLY. k. " .TANsILL X Co, Chicago
 fS leap year it is nothing strange to read nf female laWyers going eeurting -K0eles- tEs pasf- F FnYesS
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-07-29
RATHER RUSTY on THE SCRIPTURES.

To the Edtfor The Tribune.
Sir: Two extracts from " The New-York Tines and
The Tribune, respectively, describing tho memorial
window President Arthur in Trinity Church. lenox'
Mass, were sent to ne recently. The Times,
June = says that the window bears an Inscription
. with the dates Of his birth and death, ard
Scripture text" The Tribune June Z, descro-
Ing the window, gives the inscription as follows
And, finally after this life to attain everlasting
10y and felicity through Jesus Christ our Lord Amen y
The Times has probably not had occasion to con-
st the Scriptures for the last four years. else II
would have made the blunder Of attbuttng 10 the
Bible words that really form the conclusion OF the
PRAYER for the President Of the United states in the
Book Of Common Prayer. T. E. r.
Mohawk. n. Y, July 10, 1888
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-07-29
ELECTRICITY IN THE SLAUGHTER HOUSE

ELECTRICITY IN THE SLAUGHTER HOUSE
II the Edttorof The tribune
Sir: Humane people propose to bring the condemned
criminal TO death by the electric stroke and there IS
doubt but this proposition Will take the shape Of
law some da-. Hanging man BY the neck has been
considered a quick and sure method OF bringing cul-
prt To death, II ed in the proper manner but
electricity attains this end by more humane and
secure method. Besides. there are cases on
record too horrible rclete. increased By recent
occurrence at Louisville, KY, where negro suffered
outrageous death under the hands of an unskiled
nervous sheriff. There remains onl- 20 say that
such scandaous accidents will be made impossible bv
the application OF the electric current, convincing
every well meaning Of the superiority Of this
method.
But II this humane feeling IS shown TO the criminal
and extended to the dog-pound. why IS It not applied
to the brute creatures we'll, that undergo day by
day the most horrible agonies furnish the viands
for our stomachsl Is thorc any reason for knocking
a heavy animal in the brain with TO stun 1t
cutting 1t By the neck 10 bleed II slowly TO death
II science offers the kindly and humane means
in Of its newly discovered agents And how
many blows and cuts go past their aim and must be
repeated before the animal suCcumbsl The horrible
buchery Of animals a executed to-day must appeal
TO every feeling man appalling barbarism among
the humane aud benevolent tendencies OF our century
JULIUS OILY.
Glens Falls, n. Y, July 90. 1893.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-07-29
POPULAR OBSERVATIONS.
THE BRIDGEwATER OUTRAGE.
CAPTAIN ALLEN REsTATEs HIS CASE.

CAPTAIN ALLEN REsTATEs HIS CASE
To the Editor The IT. f5Hhe
STR: Referring to the dispatch from Ottawa, printed
10 Sundays World wherein the Hon. Mackenzie
Bowel, Minister Of Customs Of Canada, denied tho
sentiment and action imputed to him by Senator Eoar
In the matter Of the Brdgcwater seizure, would state
that Senator Hoar's statement was made on my own
authority Is true In every word, the facts having
been put record Immediately after the interview.
To Mr.. Bowelps opinion OF the efficacy OF tho State
Department observed: In that / should appeal
to tho press Mr.. Bowel replying: 1 know its
value | am an old pressman myself Sir Charles
Upper admitted to that there had been violation
Of law and said repeatedly that compensation should be
made. Tho Hon. A. W. Mcclellan, Postmaster General
and acting Minister OF Customs at the time OF the
seizure though he then In Vancouver, stated that
there had been a violation OF law and that the Minis
ter OF Justice hearing all the facts agreed with him. >
adding: II the sufferers have remedy at law the
should be dealt with upon its equtes.' The
Deputy Minister Of Justice also said 10 me that there
had been violation Of law, that not necessary
to admit that Mr.. Bowel did not himself,
in terms admit the lcgallty Of the seizure. said to
him Your letter confessos violation OF law, but you
deny redress Mr. Bowel would not admit the first
proposition contendng that the letter did not say but
| pointed out 10 him that both its tenor and purport
carried that construction. Indeed having all the
facts before turn, a, thess gentlemen had 10 form
40 opinion, 1t would be- paYns poor compliment TO
their understanding had they come to any other con-
cusOn.
Fortunately the rests documentary evidence
which the State Department has in It's possession.
Brooklyn. July 70, 1855 JOHN II. ALLEN.
lAs Senator Hear stated the case, Captain Allen
remarked to Minister Bowel It is unfortunate
you confess TO the violation Of law, but deny the
redress. The matter will now go to the State
Department, it being Governmental rather than
a personal matter Mr. Bowel replied You
will get nothing there. OF all the claims lodged
there against the Government (of Canada we have
not been called upon to pay one We simply heard
nothing more about them -Ed)
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-07-29
r. rrRrcr OF TIE BROoEs HIGH LICENSE LAW

Philadelphia, July Is Special. John T. ncz. the
wcnlthy brewer denied to-day that largo amount Of
The bonls OF his brewing companr. sl0O0O00 in all.
had been sold IN London. stated In this morning
paper He admitted that the business was not rs good
since the Brooks High License bill became law. and
that under its restrictions brewers and qnordeacrs
have been looked upon criminals and any one who
.,ars M price can have the brewery
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-07-29
SOME REMARKABLE SCHOOL CHILDREN.

TO the Edftor Of The TrtbHne.
Sir In last Sundays issue you quote an article
from The Boston Advertiser giving the remarkable
school record OF Miss Jessie Reyes In which the writer
says: 1t seems highly improbable that this record
will ever be e1ualled- The BOstOnians doubt
will be surprised TO learn that better record has been
made In New-York Cry. boy named James Wilsey
entered the primary department OF school No 81, and
to the day he graduated from the grammar school,
IN 1878 or 1876, he had never been absent or late,
nor had he ever been known TO ask permission TO
leave the room lie graduated at the head Of his
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-07-29
ANEW STATE NAME SUGGESTED.

To me Edttor or me TrtDHrc-
Sir In your issue Of July 81 you suggested that
II Washington Territory was TO be made a state. lis
name should he changed in order 70 avoid confusion.
The suggestion IS practical and shoad be adopted
Allow me to propose that In the change is made,
a fitting and jus; compliment could be paid to ono OF
our most nlustrous men Of science, individually, and
also rs representative OF the science, invention and
progress OF the country. by giving me new StaIe me
name OF Audubon WILLIAM GLAND BOURNE.
New York. July &c, 1858.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-07-29
SUGGESTION ABOUT PRISON LABOR.

TO the Editor Of me IribHne
Sir: Why should not the state send all the product
Of prison labor to some foreign market and not bring
the prison labor into competition with our working
and tolllng masses It strikes the writer good
way ont of the difficulty. Export to souti America
or some other countries all the work OF State prisons.
Yours respectfully W: J. ENDERSON
Anandale, y. j.. July 10, 1855
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-07-29
NOT MUCH PANIC IN CHICAGO.

To the Editor Of The Tribune
Sir: AS a citizen of that right smart village az
the south end OF Lake Michigan, Chicago am lltte
amused at the seeming alarm in the minds OF some
of the Eastern people the dynamite plot and new
Anarchist scare in Chicago. Let all alarmists pos
secs themselves in camncss citizens Of the great
city OF the Rowdy Vest are not at all disturbed.
We are up in court matters, especially the criminal
branches and arc adopts Int conducting neckue par
tIcs7 for all Corners Slmllia simllIbus curanOr7
IS good rule and enjoy practising IT, We
can take good care OF Anarchists, dyrfamiteS or
boodlers.' Don't let and one stay away from
Chicago through fear Of them. might mention Incl
dcntally as there Is a rImOr Of approaching cleo
lion this fall that also prepared for ali Demo
cratic free Trade Mugvunp- rsenbach MonGrcs. and
Will give the entire West, including lnana ZOE Lar
risOn ami Morton. NJ L. OOLE-
Ncw-York July %. 1888.