The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1888-03-17

Robert (who was at the office very late
last night)-My dear, have you seen any
thing of my boots?
She tsweotly)-Yes, love, they are down
here on the hat rack.
e AS a small boy was watering his
"horse'' IA chair) out Of an empty cup his
mother suggested that she should get him
some truly water.
"Oh, no." he said, with a fine sense Of
dramatic unity; "oh, no; a puhtendin'
horse must drink puhtendin' water"
Foreign Premier-Your Majesty, the
people are Grumbling about the military
taxes.
The King What children the people
arel They ought TO know that the army
cannot live on less it does.
"They know that, sire. but they say
the army can be reduced. They want it
reduced one-half, if not more"
Every well. Declare war"
She sat idly watching the empty oyster
shells on her plate, while he finished
the last morse of cracker Within his
reach.
"Mr. Sampson" said she, with little
blush, "do you think that young ladies are
justified in taking advantage of their leap
year priyiieges?"
His heart gave one great saddle rock
bound, for she was rich and he was poor,
and he loved her with that mad passion so
common to this condition of society. He
fervently assured her that he did
"Then, Mr. Sampson" she said, shyly.
II think would like dozen more on the
she'll"
-Goose-bride-WhY,C Charlie, the canary
is dead!
He-What did you give it to eat?
Goose Bride-Same as we had; corned
beef, cabbage, and English mustard
-Stranger-Oh, yes.
Passenger-Know exactly what to do;
never lose your head2
Stranger-I should say not. Why can
change cars at Buffalo without getting on
| the wrong train.
They were in the parlor, occupying one
chair with but a single thought. They
had discussed the tariff, the Irish question,
the sleighing, the opera, the weather, and
other important topics until conversation
was about tagged out. Then after long
pause:
'Duckyp
| 'WhaltyP'
DO you think am making any progress
in courtingP'
well, should say you we're holding
your own.'
Tableau.
Wife-I declare l am almost ashamed to
all the style.
Husband-Is this Bridget's Sunday outP
Wife--No.
Husband Why don't YOU borrow hersP
Mrs. Penn-Has Miss Leepyer pro
posed yet, PisastratusP
Pisastratus-No, mamma, but I think
her intentions are honorable.
Mrs. Penn-Why?
Pisastratus-She asked me lass night how
was on making fires.
-lpIpccIS DIolc-l llalu-ihctu BIOctE huu
Door chore boy).
Grinder-I suppose you feel pre- ty tired
Tommy, after putting in that cosl2
Tommy-Yes, sir
Grinder-Well. If you want to have 4
little fun now, you can shovel the snow of
the sidewalk.
Woman to tramp, TO whom she hs
given some cold potatoes-If you like yoI
kin step into the cowshed while you're eat
in them tsters; it's rainin' so hard.
Tralop-Thanks, ma'am, but am nc
dude.
Book Agent TO little boy)-sonny, i
your ma IMP
. Little Boy-Yes, she's in; but gues
you don't want to talk literachure TO he
now.
Book Agent-Why notP
Little Boy-Because dinner has beef
q ready for half an hour, and pa amt bom
!. yit
h Hasty departure Of agent.
' -(Jack has left one of those extremel
q English walking-stieks too near the paI
. rot).
!, Parrot observation-disclosures, get ye
r. gun, get yer gun, get YER gunl
d by Georger exclaimed Wagstai1, wit
|; a chuckle, as he looked his cards over,
Il don't think could improve on this hand
Perhaps you have never tried soap Q
IA H. suggested BuekhoFn