Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1888-12-28
SOME SMALL COMFORTS.

small talk.-Rochester Post Express.
i WESTERN train robbers who rife tho
mail bags use their rifles on the trath
men, too.
/! NATURE is just with compensation
for losses. The toothless man is not
apt to bite off more than he COZ chew.
;-Neoo Orleans Picaya4ae. !
/ YOUNG doctor They don't bleed
people nowadays as they did twenty
years ago, do they, Professor? Profess
sor-Not with the lancet-Doctor.
HUSBAND Ito wife with pet dog
You should have married Tido instead
Of me. Wife (regretfullD But poor
Fido hadn't any money, don't you
know.-Wash5,agtom Post.
/ HE-My darling, I really believe my
rheumatism has wholly disappeared.
She-Oh, I am SO sorry! Now we shall
never know when the weather is going
to change.-Bostoaa Beacon.
"WHAr little basket is that you are
cleaning, Johnnie?" asked Merritt.
"That's the fish-basket dad told you he:
carried the 200 pounds of fish home in
last night. *-NeaD York SIN.
PATERFAM1I1As-Why, Ethel! You
don't mean to marry that baldheaded
Professor Wiseman? Ethe]-N is true
he is bald, but think how many young
men of to-day are bald on the inside Of
their heads.-z0eG.
AN item is going the rounds alaeging|
that the hustle is liable to explode and
! should be labeled hazardous" Bustles
/ are as safe as coal scuttles We've held
many of them on our lap without risk.
Detroit Free Press.
"You may bring me some sasanizedl
crustaceans, said Miss Boston to the
waiter. MANI" gasped the astonished
mental, "Don't You understand me {?
I want deviled crabs" 20, yes'ml
Bring 'em right away" .-I.aes."
BuRToN-Paperwate must DO getting
up in the world. Did you notice how
politely his tailor bowed to himq Boil
ton-Humph! The poor fellow knows
he's got to be civil, If he ever expects
to collect cent.-NetU York Sem.
A New YORK clergyman, dismissed
from the pulpit few months ago, is
now acting as brakeman on railroad
train. His experience in coupling was
no doubt q strong recommendation for
the NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Herald.
Clara, if I we're you I'd take
Mr.. Oldboy to certain store on Broad
way before I'd let him take me to the!
theater again. Clara-And what storel
is it, pray? Louisville one that adj.
vertises aOld bows rehaired while you
wait. PUCK. +
GRIMsBY-That man, Danks, gets
more matter accepted by the news
papers and magazines than any other
person of my acquaintance. Danks-I
Is that SO? He doesn't look like liter
airy fellow. Grimsby-He isn't; he 10
an advertising agent.-Bostosa Post. .
PH1LADE1pH1AN-Ist there much musi-
cal culture in Prairie City Westerner-
Musical culture? Well, I should SMILE.
Why, sir, the Prairie City folks just
turn out and mob the Salvation Army
every time the bass drummer gets out
of tune with the cornet.-Philadelphia
Record.
THRIFTY mother-Ellen, why vill
you persist in eating the soft part Of
your bread and leaving the crusts under,
the edge Of your plate2 Some day you
may be glad to get even crusts to eat. 4,
Thoughtful daughter mother, !
that's what I'm saving them for.-Bos-4
ton Transcript.
In the columns of medical eontem-y
porary it is asserted that there is al
patient in the Pekin Hospital who COM.
plains that there is another man inside;
him who keeps up perpetual conver-i
sation. That man must have been COM,
PEELED to eat his own words.-Lo7aa DON
Court Journal.
INDIGNANT citizen-When I bought.
this horse you told me that with q lit
tie training he would make frst-class
animal for the track. Horse dealer,
And SO he will! Citizen-I tried him,
yesterday, and he was seventeen min
utes trotting mile! Horse-aealer-:
Oh, I didn't mean a race-track, friend 3!
meant street-car track.-Iinse.
! WHEN a wife gets to reading one Of;
the old diaries her husband used to,
keep before he was married and finds
an entry that says: prayer meeting;
out at 10 o'clock; home Of IL AS" she.
can't help wondering just where the;
young man was and what he was doing
for that mysterious hour and forsy-five;
minutes so many years ago.-Jo4T7aal
of Education.
He was new conductor on his first
trip. As he passed the corner hand.
somely dressed young woman Nodded
her head graciously. The new con-
ductor tipped his hat with ths utmost
politaness, and turning to passenger
on the platform, said: "Hows that for
o mash, eh?" "she wanted you to stop
the car" replied the passenger.
"B'gosh!" exclaimed the new conaiuc-
tor, Il never thought of that. e may
turn out smash instead of {. ma IA. u,
Epoch.
WHEN jim WAS DEAr.
When Tim was deed
Hit sarvel him right" the nohcrs, sod.
An 'bused him for the life he'd is&:
An him a-lying thar at rest
With not O roso upon his breasti
Ahl menny cruel words they aefs
When Jim was dead.
aJes' killed 1,isseH." "Too neai, isr 1.-Two
They didn't hav' one word ter nise
or comfort as they lowered ne.,
An gased Oh Jim a-lying rhero, ..
'Thaf amt no use ter talk they SD.
"Ho's better deadY
Bat suddenly the room growol nt;n
WhileGods white sunshine seemed ter e1a