Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1888-10-03
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| Scene In the ante room OF the
grand lodge Of X and G. ". G. r.
A..switr q t,elated drummer and the
Grand w. inqnisitors as the prin,
clpal characters:
| "Whenoe contest thou. pard?n
"Fron the lodge Of the Holy St
Johns. at Michigan
"Thcn you are a drammer?a
II am so taken aud accepted by
all The boys
How may I know you to be q
drummer
BY my cheek and flty pound
sample case. Try me-
Glow will you be tried?"
by the square?"
"Why by the square,"
because the square is 'magis-
trate and an emblem of stupidity
"Where were you FIRST prepared
10 be drummer"
SIN my mind"
@Where next?"
SIN a printing office, adjoining q
regular post of drummers."
"iIow We're you prepared2"
SPY being diyested of my last
cent, my cheek rubbed down with
a brick bat, bunion plastered over
each eye and a heavy sample case
in each hand. In this fix was
conducted to the door of the post. y
''How did you know it was door
being blind?"
"By first stepping into a coal
se,sstie and afterwards humping my
head on the door knob.
sETow gained your admission?a
"By benefit of my cheek"
"iIad you the required cbeek?'
II had not, but Steve Sears had
it for me-"
GLOW were you received?n
"On the sharp toe of boot ap-
piled Oh my natural trousers
"What did this teach yoU2'
mot to fool around too much"
"What happened next?"
II was set down on a cake Of ice,
and asked if | put my trust in 'ner-
camille reports"
"Your answer"
"Not if / know myself, | don't.
"What happened next?p
~ was put stradle of goat made
cut OF a 2x4 and trotted nine times
around the room by four worthy
brothers and then trotted IN front
Of the left bower for further IN
structions."
"How did he instruct you"
$40 approach customer III three
upright regular steps, with my bus
ness card extended at right angles
ny arms forming q perfect square"
How were you then disposed OFF"
IL was again seated on a cake Of
ce in front of a dry goods box and
made to take the following horrible |
md binding oath:
81. Charles S. Robinson, do here |
IN and hearin, most eyerlastlngly |
md diabolically swear by the Great !
Bob Tail Flush, that | will never |
'eveal and always steal all trade
secrets / can for the use Of and
benefit of this most august order.
And | further swear by the Bald
Headed Jack of Clubs, that | will
never give, crave, make, hold take
II cut prices below the regular rates.
And | further swear by the pipers
hat played before Moses, 70 never
iave any commercial dealings with
my man or his wife, sister, grand
mother, old maid, aunt or uncle,
nless they, she, he or it is sound /
m the goose. Binding myself un-
Ter no less a penalty than to have
ny grip-sack slit from top to bot
ON, my dirty shirts and socks talk
II out and my reputation re-
moved and buried in the river at
he new bridge where the Salvation
rny Gibbs and flows every two and
me. half hours. So help me Bob.
and keep me in back.
,one.s
Il was then asked what / mos.
leeded."
what was your reply?"
Money"
"What did you then behold?"
"a copy of Dun & Co.'S reports,
pen at chapter 'Muskegon.' Upon
he open book rested a pair Of drug |
Gales, in one pan of which reposed
en- pounds Of concentrated I've, and
nd in the other sat a small silver
ackass."
"What do the emblems signify9"
"The scales indicate the balance
,etween debtor and creditor. The
ther emblems represent the liabili-
les and assets of bankrupts."
Ibid this teach you any lesson?'
"You bet it did. 1t taught me
hat the former are generally al
mighty much better than the lat
en-.
Have you any cigars?"
II have"
Give 'em to me-
~ did not receive them thus,
either will | SO inpart them"
slow viii you dispose of them
Sixty days time or 2 per cent
ash (. .. b.
YAH right. begins"