Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1888-05-05
BECOMING AS ONE FLESH.

Husbands and wives who are fair
ly well mated generally grow to
each others ways, so that in the
course of time they live together
peaceably and contentedly, one or
the other or both yielding to the
companions whims, tastes or pre-
JUDGES to avoid discussions. Dur
ing the process of this mutual &C.
commodation and growth, which
may extend over long series Of
years, there is serious risk that it
may be arrested by decay of that
affection which inspires it or that in
accomplishing the harmony husband
or wife may be obliged to yield more
than is fair, so that in the end the
couples, instead of being on terms of
equality as husband and wife should
be, stand in the relation of subject
and master. Newly welded complies
seldom think of the future as being
anything different from the present
when the sole thought of each is the
pleasure of the other, when each is
ready and even anxious to make
sacrifces'at the shrine oflove. They
cannot foresee that though the af-
lection may be lasting, the modes of
its manifestation must accommodate
themselves to changed relations, nor
that the growth of a family, the in
crease of business duties and other
natural changes in their enviroh-
ment will gradually alter their hab
its of life, and perhaps DRIFT them
apart from each other unless each
gives thoughtful consideration to
the duties of the marriage station.
1t is assumed that their love for
each other continues: that though
less fervid in its manifestation than
during the honeymoon, it is really
stronger because more firmly root
ed in respect and based on surer
knowledge of character than that
which was first awakened by an
evanescent charm of person or of
manner, and yet in spite of this
greater and better love the husband
may become so careless and incon.
siderate, so absorbed in business or
his personal amusements, as to bring
concealed grief to the heart of his
faithful wife. Many husbands un-
conscious of such neglect OF duty,
would be surprised if accused of it,
and respond that they worked hard
for their families, economical to lay
up a fortune to care for them, sup
piled their wives with all that they
could reasonably ask for the sup.
port of the household, and general.
ly conducted themselves as faithful
husbands should do. Yet if they
should give serious consideration to
the subject they might find that
they had neglected something of
quite as much Importance to the
tired housewife as the means of liv-
ing, and provision for the future.
Unconsciously, perhaps-so gradual
ly that neither husband nor wife
could note the steps whereby the
change was reached-the husband
began to shrink within himself, to
carry home with him his business or
other enterprises, and to withhold
them more and more from his wife.
Absorbed in his own thoughts, he
became uncommunicative: his meals
were eaten in silence; after tea he
had accounts to look over or his dali
ly paper to read, and the children
must not disturb him. His wife,
growing to his habits, gradually alb
stained from disturbing him, the
children were educated not to make
unnecessary noise in his presence,
to go to some other room for play or
study, while the housewife, tired
with the performance ofmultifarious
household duties, was obliged to
seek leisure for anything more than
the most necessary conversation on
family affairs. In the meantime
this silent husband, whose wife longs
for the old days of familiar converse
and pleasant intercourse, is uncon.
scious of any decrease in affection
he feels, in fact stronger love for
the patient wife who smoothes his
way at home than he did fol
the bride he led to the altar
years ago. He recognizes in her
sterling worth which he was uncon.
scious, or which he would have been
unable to appreciate at that time
But in spite of that love: in spite Of
his devotion to the material welfare
of wife and children he has neglect
ed to make her life pleasant; he has
pursued his own path with little con
sideration for her desires, and has
accepted her sacrifices as a matter
OF course. The blame is not always
with the husband; counter forces
are also at work to produce the
same result. The wife, while at
tending faithfully to all household