The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-06-16

nifSiaKc, DCLQ uQclPS were coming on Tuesday. MT. Carper proposed three days visit; MT. Finicker in- tended starting early on Wednesday morning to attend cattle show some twenty miles from Lowthorpe. He would come down, he (my uncle) said, by the 5:15 from Waterloo.
 "As usual, MT. Carper does not mention the train he intends coming down by" I observed dryly. "There only remains, as a climax, that they should both elect to come by the 5:15."
 "Oh, Charlie! Surely notp
 "I think it is more than likely" l returned, with the calmness of de- spair, as I proceeded to unfold the newspaper. ] had just ten minutes to read and digest it before catching my train up to town.
 "Charlie, how can you sit there coolly reading the paper" exclaimed my wife, almost in tears.
 "My dear" 1 demonstrated, "there are five days to come before Tuesday. We don't know what may happen in that time. One of the old fools may -er-ahem We can talk it over when l come home to- night" I concluded hastily. Then, with what I have been told is the innate selfishness of the masculine mind, plunged into the news of the day.
 When came home at night, Ella met me with beaming smile
 "Charlie ]" she began gleefully, as divested myself of my hat and over- coat, "l have thought of plan"
 "A plan !" l echoed vaguely.
 Reader-I give you my word I had forgotten all about those two fendish old men,
 "Oh, the uncles !" groaned, after a moments reflection. "Let us have dinner first, Ella, and indigestible rel atives afterward."
 Ella, as all we'll drilled little wives should do, obeyed her lord and mas- ter, and dinner proceeded as usual.
 When had lit my post prandial pipe 1 stretched myself upon the sofa, folded my arms behind my head, and intimated that I was ready to hear the "plan."
 My wife came and seated herself upon low stool beside me.
 "You see, Charlie," she began, with round, solemn eyes fixed upon mine "I have thought and thought all day, and his seems the only thing to be done."
 "Well," said expectantly, as she paused.
 "Well," she went on, q am confi- dent that Uncle Simon will arrive first on Tuesday, and he shall have the pink room"
 "I have no objection" observed, as she paused again, "but I fail to see how that can help us."
 "Charlie, you are so stupid, dear You know there is something the matter with the lock of the pink room door,"
 l looked-as felt-bewildered.
 "Yes," l said, helplessly.
 "Well, Charlie" in impatient tones, "don't you understand"
 "I confess to being still at sea, my dear," I said, with abject humility. "But go on. Unfold your plan, and my feeble intellect will try to follow. The uncle who appears first upon the scene-Uncle Simon, think you said -is to have the. pink room, and there is something the matter with the lock of the pink room door. I think have mastered these two important details. And apresP"
 Don't you seer" my wife went on, with growing excitement. "The lock has often stuck fast before. It did the last time uncle was here. We could not get it open for ever so long. Don't you remember? So what more natu- ral than it should go wrong on Tues day2" And she looked at me tri- umphantly.
 "But, my child," I murmured A'it won't 'go wrong,' as you call it, on Tuesday. Things never go wrong when they ought to. It's only when they didn't ought to-" conluded vul- garly.
 "Of course, you silly boy, know that. But then, you see, I'll make it go wrong"
 "Make it go wrongp I repeated. "What do you mean?"
 Ella regarded me witheringly, then said; "Really, Charlie, you seem as if you were being stupid on purpose. Why, of course, when Uncle Simon goes up to get ready for dinner shall simply lock the door. Then we can ! pretend that the lock has stuck fast again, and that we can't get the door open. When Uncle Gregory has gone to bed-you know he always goes quite early-we can let poor old Uncle Simon out, and give him splendid supper to make up for the loss of his dinner. He is very good-natured, you know. And then," she concluded, Che will be away in the morning before Uncle Gregory is up. So there you