The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1888-09-28
AMERICAN jokes 4.
Inc Irresistible Desire to Indulge
IN the Ridiculous,

ANpAAO W
IN the Ridiculous.
LIZ was weak and watery Joke for
genial Mark Twain to pretend to weep
at the tomb of Adam. Since then sew
eral Anne ricans, who are not under TIE
professional necessity of forever joking
have teen immensely more funny, aud
IN the most serious, uninten tioual man
ner possible. says the New York LINES
Latest in the list is the excellent con
sui OF the United States at San Domingo
City. He writes to an esteemed con-
temporary to protest that it was with
the most respectful intentions, and not
IN the least spirit of levity or irrever-
eGce, that he proposed to disin Ter the
corpse OF Columbus, the discoverer OF
America, and exhibit the remains
throughout t1e United States at so
much head. tits only necessary to read
the consul's letter TO be persuaded vi
the excellence of his intentions.
Columbus was to De accompanied b,
eight dominican soldiers in 'showy
uniforms" and by four priests in Ca
Dc
to be shown, with its original inscrip
tions, in proof of authenticity, and it Is
not to be doubted that there would have
been somber hangings. dim lights, fun
ereal chants, and, Of co 1rse --for this is
the United States and the home of thu
panoramas and stereopticans "a lee
turer. The coDsnl's client, who was to
manage the show, guaranteed that
Domingo's half of the receipts should
be at least $50, 600 per annum. For Sc
curity San Domingo was to have lien
upon the profitable remains, which were
to be returned upon demand in Case
payments were not made as agreed.
VIII it be believed that San Domingo
refused to be partner in this straight
forward proposition? The minister of
the interior replied to our excellent cor
sui thatit would be a'rainfl spectacle"
a shameful profaI aton," and more to
the same effect. Grieved at being thus
misunderstood. our excellent consul
writes long letter to ex plain that he is
a victim of misrepresentation and par
tissu SANDER. there being Presiden
tial election under way in san Do
mingo. OF course that explains every
thing.
immortal William conceived toler-
ably successful phrase when In his
minds eye he foresaw that the Gay OF
imperial Caesar might come to stop a
bunghole. But that is paltry visslsi-
tude compared to the fate which threat
ened Columbus aud which actually
overlook the relict Of the gor-
geous Csliph Haroun-a,-Raschid.
Not in Madame Tussaud's won
derful show but In g much more
pretentious aud 9minently respectable
establishment on Baker Street, London,
the remains of the respected deceased
are, or recently ware, TO be seen for
paltry shilling. Not even an American
could conceive anything better adapted
than the sight of Haroun's spouse Tor
her remDauts) to lend the glamour of
truth to the poety and romance OF the
Arabian Nights" The Two concep-
tiOns are fit to rank together, and they
inspire US TO ask whether there are any
ashes SO sacred or any tradition so hoary
that Yankee or an Englishman Will
not violate them for gain. The neathen
Chinese will not tolerate railways in the
Flowery kingdom, because, among
many equally excellent reasons, the lay
Ing of the rails would disturb soil con-
secrated by ancestral ashes. Contrast
this with the conduct of white bar
barian VINO has chsnced upon the tomb
of Pharaoh. Does he close the en-
trance and reyerently erect monu-
ment2
Not be. He ,crapes together the
dust, mould cred with centuries and
claps IL into a museum with an in
forming label or more likely with a
reference to the catalogue, price %
oents"-as show for the ignorant, the
learned and the curious, of high and
low degree and various motives. 1t was
an American who proposed to open g
concert saloon in the shadow of the
Tarpeian rock, and it was another
American, the most famous of US all,
We mean Buffalo Bill, who wanted to
run an American circus in the COLI
scum. If it was worth so cents to see
the Wild West at Erastina, who, we ssk,
would not pay a whole dollar to see the
buffaloes, cowboys, Indians, bucking
broncos and rif1e-shooting on the spot
where the gladiators fought? How is
it that this vein of practical vulgariiy
comes so readily from Americans Is
1t the establishment of modern edu-
cation which puts US on such familiar
terms with the traditions and heroes
of all ages? If this is the re ult of
couture" for the masses there are
those who would be glad TO see edu-
cation confined to the three Rs, moral
precepts, and dexterity in the useful
arts, leaving that couture" which
mars the many to be sought out by
those rare natures adapted to profit
by it.
-S-O-SH-=@S