St. Paul daily globe., 1888-03-26
THE SECRET is OUT.
True Inwardness Of a Recent Gathering
Of Democratic Politicians.
FACETIOUS SENATOR DURANT
Takes Humorous Turn in Explaining
How the Star Chamber Session
Came About.

give true version of the very much
misrepresented and alleged to be secret
Democratic conference at the Merchants
hotel Thursday. You know we have
had a very cold winter, portion OF
which | spent in your city, not, how
ever as Queen of May. My wife was
with me, and let me remark, in paren-
thesis, Mrs. Durant is Democrat.
Well, at breakfast yesterday morning
Mrs. Durant informed me that it was al
most April and that she learned from
the GLOBE market reports that the in
habitants of your favored city were in
happy enjoyment of greens, radishes,
lettuce, Strawberries, and such things.
requested you to buy me box of straw
berries" 1 naturally replied Eyes"
She proceeded, "Well. what did you
buy?" replied, "Nothing" She con-
tinued further, Eyes you did-instead
of buying me box of strawberries you
fooled away your money and bought an
old steamboat. Now, want you to go to
st. Paul to-day, Ed, and buy me the box
of strawberries you promised me-"
Of course [ promised, and L went to
st. Paul with that intention, and the first
place | went to in st. Paul, as a matter
of course, was the Merchants, to inquire
of Col. Welz the price of strawberries,
and who should [ meet there but Senator
Sabin's friend, John G. Wise, of Man
kato. Now, like Wise. He is an ed
itor. We can't all be lumbermen, be-
cause, if we were, there wouldn't be
anybody to favor taking off the tariff on
lumber, and if the balance of our adult
population were pOStmasters, the neces-
sity for the Republican party to hold
caucuses and conventions would cease
to exist. So you see it would be very
bad for the other fellows. Well, of
course we got talking, and who should
come along but my friend Ankeny, OF
Minneapolis. Now, 1 do like Ankeny. He
has a son-in-law in Saltwater that L
like and tie to, and when Ankeny and
[ go out together he always wants to
know about Chet-that'S his son-ln-laW,
and so having kindred (not Charles
f. Kindred interest like, we are natu-
rally drawn toward each other. That's
why Ankeny and [ like to meet. You
can easily see there is no politics IN
that. While Mr.. Wise, Mr.: Ankeny
and myself were talking who should
come along but Col. Glenn, of Minneapo-
lis.
You can readily see that it was four
VI hlIlus NOW u OCuolOIC man hiiO W.
the value of four of a kind. We dis
cussed various matters, business, social,
etc., and finally drifted ON to the great
political issues of the day. was much
pleased to meet Col. Glenn, for Col.
Glenn is Democratic fighter from way
back. There's no nonsense about him.
He'll give the other fellow choice
of weapons and then knock him
out. Well, we four were
discussing the probable effect of the re-
duction of the internal revenue tariff on
the quality of whisky. When the dinner
horn sounded for dinner, we hurried
up the back way to the dining room, as
there were large number of Repnbli-
can candidates stopping with Col. Welz.
Just as we four secured seats at the
table, who should come in but Bob
Miller. You know Bob. He came from
Fergus Falls. Bob helped to fix up the
Fergus Falls water power. Then he
came down to build up st. Paul and the
Democratic party. The fact is, Bob is a
sort of s'vade mecum" to us fellows, and
don't you forget it. Bob knows that
Chicago county is not the place to send
Irish political literature. Bob knows
how much Gov. Barto weighs (avOlrdu-
pOis), and that we have a cham
pion light weight (avoirdupois
ALSO which can knock him out
Bob knows Charley Gilman's
smooth policy, but says he is
not as slick as Fletcher. and Bob knows
that Doran was stuck in snowdrift,
too. Bob knows lots of things that the
other fellows don't find out. Well, as L
was saying, just as we got seated at the
table, up came Bob. So Col. Welz
T. L, soh oh and Pnh cot
between me and Col. Glenn.
Now, l didn't know that there was
going to be Democratic meeting of any
kind. We had worried the soup, fooled
with the fish, and | was engaged In a
very interesting Irritation with some
corned beef and cabbage when a mes
senger boy came and handed Bob a
message. After reading it, Bob says:
.sThat's bad!" Mr.. Wise inquiries,
"What?' ''Why. Doran's train is block
AIDED by snow and he will not be able to
meet with u.s." Bob answered. Then L
learned there was to have been meet
ing of the Democratic executive COM
mittee. Of course felt sorry, but L
wrestled with that corned beef
and cabbage Just the same and
was about half through with my pie
when Mr. Miller-that's BOb-says,
"Well, let's go up to my room and
smoke a cigar so that Gov. McGill can't
see u.s." We went.
AS you must have observed, there
were five of us at this time. The cigars
were really good. l bought them myself
in Saltwater, and we had one apiece.
We talked about Blaine, Sherman, Har-
rison, Allison, Lincoln, and Gresham,
and didn't say word about President
Cleveland, except that Col. Glenn did
say that the Republicans have adecided
advantage over us. This astounding
statement frightened me, and arose to
my feet to inquire what he meant.
WHY" says Col. Glenn, 'the Repub-
licans understand that MI. Cleveland is
our nominee and they can train all
their guns to bear upon him, While we
are obliged to flush our game, and the
cover extends from Minneapolis to
Paris" Certainly that was a new and
very startling view OF the situation, SO
Immediately rang for the bell-bOy to
bring me a telegraph blank that we
might telegraph the gravity of the stu
alton to the president. 1t appears that
the bell-boy knowingly OF inadvertently
communicated our fears to the reporters,
who quickly gathered in the vicinity
of our room, and as the transom
was only 2x21S feet in dimension,
and partly open, the reporters did not
get uniform idea of our united
efforts at framing the message. The
excitement natural to the situation
threw us off our guard, and what should
have been political secret is now the
property of the world, and yet, good
may come of it! One thing, it pleased
the reporters, and even if it defeat the
Democratic party and inures to the pub
lie good, so be it.
In conclusion, there was not a meet
ing of the Democratic executive COM
mittee held; no political business was
transacted. Neither Mr.. Ames nor any
other gentleman's name was mentioned
in connection with the nomination for
governor.
The reporters said / hurried away and
intimated l was hot. Now the fact was,
OH looking at my watch, | found it was
oh fro fiynn 4 ha6 Cnant thn