The Dickinson press. (Dickinson, Stark County, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1883-1927, 1888-03-17
A BROKEN PROyERB.
YOU CAN'T TEACH AN OLD DOG
NEW TRICKS"
Writer Disprovcs tho Dictum-"Old
Dogs" Who Are Constantly Adding to
Their stock of knowlcdgc-Thc Behind

~ "rter Dlspr0ves tho Dictun-"Old
Dogs" Who Are Constantly Adding to
Their stock of kuowlcdgc-Thc Isehind-
thc-Timcs People.
"l on can't teach an old dog new tricks
lhat what You say at the age of - or 30,
or %, when You think that the bloom is
about all off thcey of life, that it's nearly
all up with you, and that about all the OBJ
Jert You have i'll living is to prepare for
dying, and shuttle i'll your old shoes out of
life ss quietly as possible-possibly to the
content and satisfaction of your nearest of
KIN, who love You we'll, and the dollars you
will leave them BETTER
tut, sir, you have no business to call your
self IAN old dog of any sex or persuasion.
You should bc ashamed to term yourself
"",. You are man, or fragment of
one, one, ana being man, you are, of course, but
.'''l' lower than an angel, or at least little
lower, we will say, than n second hand
angel; worse luck to you.
You are saying now to yourself. and VOL
are saying it every day, that the time is over
for you to learn anything new or do any
thing new, and for that matter think or en-
JOY anything new, save tho last ncighbor-
mood or village tattle and gossip, which you
do enjoy us we'll as any other old woman.
Your boundary of your own life in your
mind is to l"fble down every morning to the
town or village tattle center, and in summer
sun yourself on dry goods box, and in Win
Ter warm yourself by the grocery stove, or
somebody stove, and there rake and scrapc
over ana gnaw at all the old bones of con-
Versatlon and gossip that you have gnawed
over Tor the last five, ten or twenty years,
uatlhg from the time when you thought it
the proper thing to commence becoming an
oi'l man, and make it your principal business
To sniff and snuff and find fault with the new
tangled ways of the rising generation, VINO
are learning new tricks and don't suit you at
all, because they do not dress or dance or
travel i'll all respects in the same rut YOU did
when you were what you called yourself
young man, although then You had conf
inrnccd I" fossiize, as so many men and wo-
lncn do whose bodies are % years old, if, in
deed, they We're not partially fossils and REM
nahts of, say the Miocene period, when they
We're born.
OLD DOGS STILL LEARNING.
Slr, you are dog Gf you insist Oh calling
yourself SUCH who can learn new tricks
Gladstone is over 20, and rules ENGLAND be-
cause lie is always learning tricks. Bismarck
Is over ~, and rules Germany, and today is
learning new tricks De LesscpS, who bosses
'iie calallsm OF this planet, is over 10, and
never lets up i'll devices for cutting through
rock or sand from ocean to ocean. Ericsson
Is 81, II not over, and is by no means through
with new ways and means for making little
sllI'S overcome big ones on the principle that
II wasp may sting an OK nearly to death, and
Two wasls, or iron scows, freighted with
guns powerful enough and having their shot
ia, Ina L.;
OK of ship in the world overloaded with
men nrl ovcrwcshted with eleven inch iron
ainor. Bcecller, sir, never let up until ovcl.
20, and hc might have been in Plymouth
church pulpit yet had he learned n few new
tricks i'll tho art of keeping young, which
thou nnts are i'll the future to learn
You see, sir, that some old dogs can learn
new tricks, and keep on learning them, SO
long as they recognize the fact that to keel,
tn" inInd young is to keep the body young;
and us II proof of this fact you may see any
| iiie afternoon OH Broadway men of 80 or 60
VINO look ns young and are as young, fresh,
active and vigorous i'll body and mind, and
| "Hril more so, than you were at 40, when
y"u really commenced to grow old, because
You thought You were ut or near the down
hill side of life; and, being of what the world
calls middle age it was abouttinc to COM
mcnrc preparations for Sliding down the vale
of years and tobogganing your coffin into the
grave.
Its not tho young dogs, sir, who always
learn new tricks. Indeed it's the young ones
who are generally inclined to learn the old
tricks pructiced by the old dogs and learned
by these old dogs from dogs still older be-
longing to Il generation before you were con-
tlartc'l for planned out and manufactured.
a CHANGE OF CROPS.
Like your old farmer, who farms Just as
his father farmed before him, only because
his father farned that way and thereby left
him as a legacy all over worked, farmetl out,
over titled soil, which obstinately and in a
righteous sort OF way wouldn't raise wheat,
and will raise only weeds, because nature
needs what you call "weedsn or IL change of
crops for u time in order to restore to the soil
what it needs to raise wheat
Or, like your uniuspircd, unimproved, lag
behind the times old dog doctor, who insists
on hanging on to the blue pill, forty horse
| power "hcroic treatment" kill or cure stonl-
acl cleansing, bowel straining process com
| mon forty years ago, when men and women
thought an energetic cleansing of the diges-
| tive apparatus as necessary every spring as
their rough and tumble spring house clean
| W. L'ui ''Ii WHO ScOrllS
| lider methods of the new Schools which
about every fifteen years gives new names to
| old complaints, and administers for the same
Inexpensive and harmless bread pills with
even better results and also higher charges
| per visit, provided the bread pill is accom-
! panied by a stylish doctors buggy, with a
| buck boy in buttons to hold the reins while
| the doctor with new tricks is prescribing, if
not flirting with the sick lady inside, who
ima5ines she is sick if there's Il young and
good looking medicine man within a mile of
her house, and who manages to live and en-.
| diic life by means of his assistance, added to
that of the handsome and recently called
young bachelor minister, who with spiritual
consolation altcrnates with the wheaton ma
terra mcdica i'll keeping her alive.
| Sir, these are some new tricks. These are
the advantages Of learning and practicing
| them, and all the new ones are not vet ex-
haustcd. There are lots more coming
Prentice milford III San Francisco Chronicle
Criticizing Performers by Vote.
Not satisfied with the usual signs of ap-
pause or disapproval of the performers by
the patrons of the new theatre at CONSTANT.
nope, Turkey, the director of the French
opera company now playing there has con-
fclrcd upon the public the right of voting
upon the merits of the members of the COM
pany, and maintains that he is entitled to
s al