The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1888-08-02
STAMP LANGUAGE.
The Festive But Sticky Postage
Stamp Explained.

AUSTIN, Tex, July 81, 1889.
To the City Editor of the Statesman.
Sir-Will you please confer on me
favor by publishing in The STATESMAN an
article on THE Language of Postage
Stamps" explaining the meaning of the
different positions of postage stamps on
envelopes. / have been unable to OBJ ain
the desired information. Please publish
in your next issue if you can, ard oblige
AN AUSTIN YOUNG LADY.
My Dear Young LADY, received the
above, written on a postal, in due time,
and read it with avidlty and intense
relish.
During my checkered career divers
people have had occasion to
correspond with me, especially
since my appointment, unsolicited to the
exalted position of school trustee and l
have given the subject of stamps consid
cradle thought. My attention was first
called to the matter by the refusal here of
the stamp clerk to make reduction in
the price if 1 took.as many as dozen
cent stamps at one time. / insisted
they were to be used solely IN official cor
respondence as school trustee, and that if
she would make the reduction | would use
my official Influence with the teach
ers and get them to buy
2-cent Stamps instead of postal
cards, thereby increasing her trade.
She refused, and my influence will have to
be withheld. If the postofiice department
will ruthlessly throw away chance to in
crease its trade 1 cannot help it. l am
glad you did not buy a stamp but used
postal card on which to write your note
to me. But digress. You will please
observe that the subject is rather sticky
enc and will be handled with difficulty.
You will also observe that the question
is very closely associated with the males,
and of course will be of interest to all the
| ladies.
A postage stamp placed neatly on the
right hand upper corner of an envelope
indicates refinement and knowledge of
the rules of polite society. Truly, how
ever, the stamp is placed on the right
hand corner to facilitate their cancela-
ton in the postofiice, and to put it on the
left hand corner invariably creates con-
fusion and cHss words, and tends to delay
the letter several days. 1t also tends to
make the atmosphere of the postoffice
lurid
A stamp placed on the lower left hand
corner of an envelope by young man is
"You are left" No matter what the IN
tents of his letter may be. He don't care
for you.
Placed with the vignette pointing to the
end of the envelope is "Im in love and
will lay down my life for you"
| If you receive letter with quick de-
livery stamp, it means "I'm lost" and that
it has been lying in the postoftioe a
week. A stamp placed quarter of an
inch from the upper edge of the en-
velope is "ambition," as it has room to
climb higher.
Placed quarter of an inch from both
edges is difficulties surround me-"
| Placed by mans wife in a sort of a
wild position on one corner with the
vignette upside down is STORMY" and in
dictates that news of his firtations has
reached her at the watering place.
l have paid particular attention to this
Placed on the envelope in a wild dis
ordered way with dirty thumb mark on
1t, is "fork over" and its from
your washwoman. I received one of this
kind yesterday morning, and the note
conveyed the following refreshing but
somewhat ambiguous information:
Deer Sur-U'n cum an get yer shirt.
Hit was billed an washed more'n two weeks
an i'm trad sum other hog will git hit an
tore hit wusser, as the ole mans SOW an
pigs will run in de yard an / haint got no
place to keep hit no longer nohow. U
ken hev it by paing yer bill, 35 cent?, the
price 1 alers charge fur washin by de
dozen, which your shirt was, it was in so
meney peaces.
"Yours, with CRATE affecshuu,
"MABY MELINDA JANE"
Hoping the above will be satisfactory, I
am Respectfully,
CITY EDITOR.