Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-12-22
EvANEsCENT HUMoR.

Ahb o"eetcSt Iuler III the WOIlu Is al
Indian begun.
A wooD-cUTTER is the most clipper
individual going.
The bill collector is the man who
makes due investigation.
SOME editors write column article
to express two-lne thought.
To REMOVE paint-Sit down on it be.
fore it is dry.-Terds SUtjngs.
In the human race the butcher hold.
the steaks. - Washington critic.
The Man in the Moon is doubtless
married to the Maid of Green Cheese.
Time.
We suppose that the dogs do not
worry their feline acquaintance in Cat
alonia.
A CHINA settle efforts of we'll
meaning hen over bogus egg. --Her-
chant TrdUeler.
The brain of the average dude en-
phasizes the saying that there is always
rheum at the top. -Ionkers Gazette
THERE are 100000 persons in North
America keeping bees The amount Of
arnica they keep is not known.-PjttS,
Ouiy tNTOHCCtC.
A CHICAGO woman recently regis
tered at hotel as Mrs. Blank knee
Blink" French is rapidly becoming
the language OF the hour in Chicago.
Boston Post
CRITICISM of the umpire is no new
thing. Even Milton felt called upon to
give him this fiing-Chaos, umpire sits.
and by decision more embroils the fray.
Boston Transcript
GOTHAM girl-Wasn't il awful, A
farmer in Nebraska was entombed in II
well for eight days. Col Kentuclt-
My lord Eight days with nothing to
drink but water.-CdrtOoH
INDIGNANT engineer Ito Italian, who
has refused to get off the track What
do you mean by stopping the whole
train? His Trampship-Notta under
stand re whistle what speak English. -
Time.
YES" said the sunburut man. chad
splendid luck ard caught a splendid
string Of fish" BEG pardon" inter-
rupted a quiet-faced man, but what
office are you running for?"-Boston
Transcript.
BAsHFUL youth-Will YOU take this
chair, Miss Ethel? Mss Ethel-O, no.
1t has no arm. Bashful youth eagerly
1 shall be most happy -ah- to sup
ply the deficiency, l assure You. And
he did.-Judge.
If there is anything that makes a
Thrifty Yankee mad it is tc have a
checked sachel, worth, with contents,
about 50, turn up just after he has put
in lost bag cage claim for $40. Bur
Hngton Free Press.
ONE of the contributors to the .HIG1s.
tic Monthly has written poem on Glib,
raltar in which he very successfully
rhymes to-day" with africa" Thi,
is quite the literary sensation OF tho
hour in Boston.-LQe.
A WRITER on the American Small
Boy in the Home Joarnal says he has a
great deal of aplomb. He has the whole
of it generally, no matter how much
he may be urged to share plum with
his little sister.-Teras Sttings.
III you start on journey says an
old book of wisdom, "and meet cat,
you should at once turn back" The
book does not say for what purpose you
should turn back, but we suppose it is
to get your gun.--Burlington Free
Press.
Mrs. SAsHER-You're still with your
old command, the Twelfth Artillery,
Colonel? Col. Blenkinsoke-No;s since
the last new cherub came up at our
quarters I've been transferred to the
Fourth Infantry for night duty
Judge.
THEY had been looking at the moon.
Il think, George" she sad gently,
that I will go in now; it is getting
late" "Don't go quite yet, darling" he
whispered passionately, "the moon will
be behind cloud in moment. "-Te,C-
as SUtings!
BOBBY (whispering)-Didn't l hear
Clara tell you, Mr.. Featherly, that she
was sorry but she really couldn't give
you lock of her hair? Featherly-
Sh Bobby! er-yes. Bobby-Well,
you just wait day or two and I'll get
some for you when she s out. -Harpers
Bazdr.
"CLARENcE, dear" said the girl anx-
iously, what in the world do you sup
pose papa would say if he knew that
you drank beer? You know how strict
he is" "But he doesn't know it, dar-
ling" responded Clarence, reassur-
ingly; 1--WE both drank together to-day,
and we both drank whisky. "--Lye.
PENSION agent-So you lost your
voice during the war? Applicant-Yes
sir. Pension agent-Was it through
general exposure, or the result of an
accident? Applicant--Gin expos
ure. After I'd paid fur my substitoot,
me an Nav used ter sit on the porch
and sing "Just Before the Battle.
Mother PUCK.
MISS GERTIE SoFsIGH was going
through the penitentiary with party
ros visitors and had obtained permission
to speak with one of the inmates.
"Yes'm, hits very ard, said he, "to ave
the best days of yer life spent in place
like this, but Him only one out of many
unfortunits. "Poor man." said Gertie
"you must have gone through many tri-
as during your life" Right fur you,
miss. AS many as ten, but seven of
them turned bout halibis. '-MerchaNt
Traueler.
Astronomical Photography.
The first daguerreotype of the moon