New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-07-22
THE DEMORALIZING OYSTER.

Philosophers have long observed that the horse
appears TO produce ethical effects net in accord
with what has been perhaps enormously thought
a law of nature. An innocent and upright ami
NAL, in whom there is no guile, the horse never
theless influences man that the latter gives
himself over to all manner Of crookedncss. The
saintiest deacon falls under the temptation of a
hOrsc-trade. and on the turf men commonly, and
as if by an irresistible impulse resort to ways
that are dark and tricks that are vain. No physi-
cist or naturalist has hitherto attempted to formu-
late the laws which govern these mysterious
phenomena or has tried to explain how the evo-
luton of so much iniquity proceeds from inno-
cent and unsOphsticatcd creature as the horse.
Nor shall we venture upon that obscure and diff
cult inquest, but confine our modest efforts to
showing that what the guieless horse does on
land that also the equally harmless, pure-minded
and festive oyster brings to pass on the water.
Why or how this peaceful bivalve should become
a stirrcr-up of strife. bone of contention,
suggester of violence and lawessness. we leave to
some future Darwin or Agassz to discover. Ii
is enough for us TO point out that the bed Of
the oyster is anything but bed Of Justice
Most newspaper readers must have observed
that the oyster trade seems to evolve evil pas
sions. The oyster-boat, in fact, seems to be the
pirate of these puny days State Governments
are compelled to send armed cruisers to keep down
these rovers of the seas. Fierce conflicts, preda
tory raids, audacious defiance Of the constituted
authorities. mark their extremely wild and singu-
lar proceedings. Nor are the oyster-men content
with such escapadcs OF late they have been
accused Of bold kidnapping and cruel abuse Of
the kidnapped Stories have been told, not once
but repeatedly, of young men and lads being
entced by the offer of high wages on board oyster
boats then carried off, and compelled to work
for weeks or months on starvation diet and
finally showed ashore at some inconvenient point
without rccompcnSe Now, what is there in as
ISOLATION with that calmest and most reticent of
shcfsh, the modest and retiring oyster, to foster
these scamy sides of human nature? Why should
the handling Of the oyster-ralle or the practice
Of swallowing the succulent bivalve fresh from
his native waters and mud have so curdling an
effect upon the milk of human kindness?
II is not found that the most enthusiastic lovers
of the oyster as he appears the half-shell in
the seductive pan roast. or fried, or scallopcd,
or in the toothsOme pate or the well-tempercd
and soothing SOUP suffer any moral deterioration
from intimate contact with him. On the contrary,
his influence, in conjunction with Chablis or
Sauterne, is known to be cevating and sustain
ing, and vitiatcd indeed must the digestion be
which cannot cope with his tender. cool and slip
his first American oyster observed that he felt
as if he had swallowed baby: but it is not
recorded that even this flight of imagination had
the least maefc effect upon the great expert
menter; on the contrary he locked and felt graf
flied. Possibly some invidious deductions might
be drawn from the use of the oyster at church
sociablcs but the alluson is not fair seeing that
the creature is grcgarious and never, when free to
follow his tendencies. has been known to
flock all alone by HIMSELF Lord Dundrcary
puts it, 1t may well be believed that an isolated
UPSTREAM oyster torn from his kindred and re-
quired to give tone and flavor to a large kettle
of alleged stew-might become misanthropic, and
thus eXhale sinister influence But it is the
oyster in his native lair whose track is marked
with desolaton, to speak He comes fresh
from the bosom of Nature and he implants in the
oyster-man the most truculent, dark and explosive
passions metamOrphOsing him into a pirate,
melting him to awless pursuits, and leading him
on to lIidnap and abuse the unwary. Evidently
what is needed is a scientific inquiry into the
psychology Of the oyster, and perhaps, if the
Legislature had not hurried him too much, Gov
crnor Hill might have found time to compose
message suggesting the adviSabilty of such a
measure