The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1888-04-11
Pith and Point.

A GEORGIA farmer last year made over
$500 from quarter of an acre planted with
cucumbers, which were made into pickles
and sold.
THE figures of this year QSSS) resemble
three big girls and dude as they spread
themselves across the pavement on a fine
afternoon.
Docs are not allowed to pick their com
pany. That is why you often see $75-dog
out walking with a fifteen-cent man Yonb-
ers Statesman.
DURING her twenty years Of married life
Mrs. John Gest of Wichita, Kan, has pre-
scented twenty-five children to her husband.
She has twice borne twins and once triplets.
Two women in Georgia have established
a lucrative business by acting as agents for
number of life insurance companies,
They are never deceived as to a womans age.
THE mnstres at the Boston Theater have
some fresh wit for the end man proved con-
clusively that 1888 was a fractional year.
He asserted that IL was fraction, and the
audience applauded.
AN exchange advises not to Judge by ap-
pearances A shabby old coat may contain an
editor, while the man wearing heightened
pug-hat and supporting cane may be a
delinquent subscriber.
A SCIENTIST says mo one need have any
fear of male wasp. He has no sting"
The trouble is that fellow isn't positive as
viewed PhHddeiphjd CdH
MOTHER: whats the matter, Ethel?
why are you crying?" Ethel: Mamma,
Carrie Perkins has the measles and Annie
Smith has 'em, and why can'tI have emp
Phaodelphia North-Americdn.
Maple sugar time has come;
The boys, you bet, they know it.
| They've whitfield out their Eastwood spoons
! And for the woods they go it,
North TrOU Palladium.
"1F there is anybody under the canister
! of heaven that ! have in utter eXcresence,"
says Mrs. Darlington, " it is the slanderer,
going about like boy constructor, crcu-
lating his calomel upon honest folks"
ELECTRIC kisses have become popular
up in Maine, and the craze is spreading. A
man and his best girl shuttle along a wooden
carpet till they have taken on enough cleo
tricity, and then their lips meet and shoot
| out sparks.
| CLERK: 90 worked off some of that packed
butter to-day" Grocer: Indeed! Whom
did you send it TOP" Clerk: Z" Mrs. Blank,
around on Dash street" Grocer: Great
guns Why, / board with her'-Detrou
Free Press.
Or the 233 representatives and sixty-two
senators who opened the thirty-fourth con-
gress on the I'd of December, 1866 only two
men yet remain under the dome of the
capitol-Justin S. Morrill, of Vermont and
| John Sherman of Ohio.
THE average small boy will kick like an
old army musket if his mother asks him to
haul pint of milk from the grocery store,
but he'll lug twenty pounds of baseball
bats mile and half and feel happier than
if he were president.-BoSton Transcript.
A YOUNG lady at a ball was asked by a
lover of serious poetry if she had seen
"Crabbe's Tales" Why no." she an;
swered, " | didn't know that crabs had tails. -
90 I bpu narIoD ~ he said.
have you read Crabbe's Tales?'" And
assure you, sir l did not know that red
crabs or any other kind had tails"
"YoU can take the Witness" said the
prosecuting attorney, in trial before an
Arkansas court, to the defendants lawyer
Judge" exclaimed young man in the
back part of the room, standing upon a seat
and waving his hands wildly, 4" don't lei
him take her That witness has been en-.
gagged to me for moren three years. -
chicago Tribune.
A BIG bone, which local physicians o.
Carson, New, say is portion of leg OF 6
man below the knee, was recently founC
near Genoa, New. 1t was two feet long, anC
at the point where it joined the knee was
eight inches across, or five times the usua
size. If the man who owned the bone wa:
built in proportion he must have beer
twenty-five beet high An active search i:
being made for the rest of the skeleton.
lHE 1Tllltt Vi w dies IL always dtCOlu
panied by two detectives. They dress az
gentlemen and are ever at his heels. A
the theater they sit at the back of his box
at the races they stand just behind him anC
il is their business never to have him out o
sight, He has no responsibility of them
but they can never leave him off thei
minds. They live at Marlborough Hous,
on the fat of the land but their position il
not one that is coveted by their brothe
professionals of Scotland Yard
A CAUTION is timely against using soap il
public places. An expert in soap says tina
he has found soap of really superior qualit,
in only two hotels in New York. Tit
charge is made that hotel proprietors com
monty buy cheap CASTLE and poor cotton
seed oil soaps by the hundred bars and GU
them into convenient cakes. These soap
cleanse well and are generally free from
coarse perfumes and poisonous cooring mat
tiers, but they are poorly made and ar
strongly alkaline, so that they eat into tn
pores and attack the glands and the oil the!
contain Good housekeeping
The following anecdote of Washington
Irving and John Jacob Aston is told by
correspondent of the Troy Times! "a
: Irving was very intimate with Aston, tn
| latter said one day: Mr.. Irving, HOY
much shall put you down for in my will?
t Nothing at ALL was the prompt reply
Thanks for the offer, but | do not ask o
desire anything Well, then, Mr.. Irving,
eNCldllntu Ine Olu man, L Sldll Lldht Io
one of my executors, and this will brin
something handsome. SO he did, and lrv
ing received not less than $4,000 in fees
without doing any more work than signing
his name
! THEY tell down East of poor fellow VIII
) owned "A remarkably fat hog and who ais
: owed a rich man. The hog was about al
;; the property the poor debtor had wort
! levyng on and the law exempted man
D only pig. One day the creditor, meeting tn
+ debtor, said You need another pig; lie
} me send you nice little one" The poo
, man was astonished. Why, / owe for tn
I hog I've got now" he stammered Neve
+ mind, you need another one and I'll sem
2 it," and he did, and the little pig was put il
| the pen by the side of the fat one In les
4 than an hour the constable came and al
: tached the fat hog and took il away, an
thus the law and the rich man were satisfied
, FISH" says DR.. w. w. Godding c
, | Washington, " has for years enjoyed tn
: reputation of being rich in phosphorus an
4 hence adapted to the growth of brains
, How such notion originated | do nc
: know; perhaps because stale fish shine
a with a phosphorescent light in the DARK
= As food fish is richer in water than i
y phosphorus, and to feed it to children, eN
4 pecting thereby to grow them into philosC