The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-03-10
DECEIVED BY A JUDGE,

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 Just after court had adjourned In an Alabama village, a young, gawky fel- low went up to the judge and said:
 "Jedge, hearn sort uv speech you made out in my neighborhood last fall."::
 "I hope you were pleased" the judge replied.
 "Yas, was powerful pleased at the time. You shot some uv yo' remarks straight at the young men uv tho oom- munity. You flowed that all young men oughter git married; lowed that they could live cheaper. You said that any young man that could sup port himse'f could support wife an not feel the extra expense"
 "Yes," said the judge, "I remember It."
 "Glad you do. At that time," the young man continued, "l wuz workin' at e sawm for twenty i've dollars month. wuz also sorter in love with gal. l had hil off rum mar Tin, 'caze didn't have money enough, an yo' remarks set me ter thinkin; wuZ payin' ten dollars a month fur board, an lowed that ef my ex- penses wouldn't he increased none, would turn in an git married. done so an tuck my wife to the place whar beaded. Eyer'thiBg went on all right till the end uv the month come, san' then heard suthin' hit the ground Bike 1t had fell outen tree"
 I don't quite understand you" said the judge. "You say you heard somc- thing drop?"
 "Yas, an 1t wuz the voice of the landlord. When 1 gin him the ten dollars he asked fur mo-. wanted to know what that wuz fur. He said it wuz fnr9my wife's board. What 7 says l, 'you don't charge her nuthin', do youT He snorted right out an axed me ef l expected him to boa'd my wife fur nuthin'? wy says he, 'she eats ez much CT sawdust wheeler couldn't say nuthin', fur had noticed that she wuz a power- ful cater. had to lam down ten dol lars mo an right then an thar my ex- penses wuz doubled, an instead uv havin' fifteen dollars ter slosh round with at the eend uv the month l only had five, an five dollars ain't much ter slosher like am. Now, jedge, this Is all yore fault, fur you said could live just ez cheap"
 "I am sorry," said the judge, "that you misunderstood me. meant to-"
 "You jest meant ter tell me CT lie, that's whut. You jest had a spite agin me an wanted ter ruin me, that's whut. You hearn that wuz doin' well an that didn't vote fur you, an you wanted ter do me up."
 "My dear sir" said the judge, q never saw nor heard of you until to- day"
 "Thst's all right, but the facts in the case don't show it. You come out thar an got me ter marry woman that is prepared to cat man outen house an home. You said to your- self sorter thiser way: Now, wander is feIler that didn't vote fur me, an he's havin' good deal nv fun on twenty five dollars a month, an I'll jest step out there am git him to marry an spile him fur iife.' An you done 1t, jedge."
 "You are out of your senses" ex- claimed the judge.
 "You mout think 50 gin I git through with you. Now, sir, ez you have played with my child like faith, Pm goiR ter whup you. Hold on, you needn't try to get away You"
 The judge knocked him down. He got up. The judge knocked him down again.
 "Hold on, jedge; hold onl am afeerd that Pll halter take back whut I said about whuppin' you. Pm done with you, am I reckon I'd better go on home an feed my wife"