davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-05-05

home. Wen I got dar hearn my boy cryin'. Wife said he had tuck CT chill. Wen I got down by de pallet war he was layin', he says, Daddy, I ios' my dollar. Won't you hep me look fur it?' Er pain hit me in de heart. I tole CT black lie. 'Yas,' ST, daddy will fine it fur you.' He cried. Some O his tears fell on my ham an' scalded me. pressed my head ter de fo' an cussed merse'f. De naixt mawnin' we sunt fur CT doctor. De man shuck his head. Daddy, won't you fine my dollar?' said de little man.
 "Yas, angel s'I.
 "Go out an look fur it.
 "tI will alter w'ile,' sI.
 "He shet his eyes an 'peared ter be ersleep. Wen he opened lem he said, Did you fine my dollar2'
 "'No, little man.
 "'Did you look in de smoke house?'
 wYas.'
 "'Did you look'-he choked, an den, Mir. Tom, my angel wuz dead. Go on, MT. Tom, doan stay yare an talk ter me. do on."-Opie P. Read
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-05-05
A TECHNICALITY.

aYo' honor," said a plaintiff Tn a Kentucky court, "this man (poinsing to the defendant) called me liar"
 "No cause for action," replied the judge, "for know that you are."
 "Yes, yo' honor, but he called me a bare faced liar, when you can all see that wear . full beard"
 "Ah l" exclaimed the judge. "Then, sir, we will put him through . course of sprouts. We win teach him what 1t is to islander man."
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-05-05
4 Terrible Shock.

General Sam Carter, of Leadville, and Colonel Charlie Bell, of Denver, are both jolly, fun loving gentlemen, charmingly devoted to each other in friendship. General Carter frequently visits Colonel Bell, and rfce versa, and often they make trips together be- tween the Queen City of the Plains and the "Carbonate Camp" Leadville being known in the Rocky region by the name quoted.
 On one occasion, while the two were seated in . Pullman car on the South Park railroad, which is . branch of the Union Pacific system, running from Denver to Leadville, the train headed for the exalted city of the
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-05-05
DELIGHTFUL.

Chicago Woman (to husband J. "The girls and (meanlng her daskh- tsrO have had such delightful after noon."
 Husband-"Have you been to the art institute?"
 Woman-"Oh, no; to the Brushing- ham trial"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-05-05
STORIES FROM v1sscHER.
Have You Met Him !

The good-natured people of this green and whirling globe, from na- tivity to the tomb, meet with frequent affiictions and infiictions, from the man who asks if it Is hot enough or cold enough, to the party who borrows your morning paper before you are up and who keeps 1t until you have breakfasted and kindly hands it to you at the door, when, kid -gloved and gloriously clothed, you are just in the act of driving down town behind your gallant bays, or those of the street-car company. But of all the sorrows of this character, which one Is called upon to meet, Is the semi- colon and dash ory-teller, who forgets where he started and chronic ally forgets what he started for, and also forgets to stop, until you wish that he might be temporarily tongue tied. Yesterday such party told this story:
 "About ten years ago-which, by the way, is long time in the history of the growing west-speaking of the west, used to know cowboy down in Arizony. Ain't it funny about these cowboys? Pve known cowboys who were sixty years old a vacquero is always called cowboy until he gets to own herd of his own, and then he is cattle king'-I am &C., quainted with cattle king in Cheyenne-ever in Cheyenne? It's a city of about nine thousand inhabit- anis, and the hsndsomest- built town of its size cn earth; got everything that any metropolis has, except ships . first town in the world which was lit by electricity and the first one where the incandescent light was farmed out-mentioning farming, do you know that out there in Colorado, where in the school days of people who are now forty years old the country was called the Great American Desert, the best wheat that goes into the market is raised-and speaking of raise, could you lend me three dollars until see Tom Johnson2 Johnson is one of the best fellows you ever saw. He came here from Little Rock about four years ago and blame my picture if he hasn't got as rich as one of Artemus Wards jokes-ever hear that story on Artemus about the time he was sick in Salt Lake? He had got 30 thin that the doctor who was waiting on him couldn't see him but that's nothing, Eve held hands be- fore now that were 90 strong that mo- body at the table could see me. saw man down on a Mississippi river once who was sort of preacher look ing chap. They wrung him into a game of poker, which he pretended to know nothing about, and blame me if he didn't sweep the board on the last deal with a hand that he innocently called "four ones.' I believe in my soul that fellow was nearly as smart as Jim Blaine from the state of Maine, for Jim knows his game monstrous we'll"
 When he began to run that thing into politics fed, but he has that story going yet if you should ever meet him, which, as humanitarian, hope you never may.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-05-05
PRICE, s CENTS.
JUST WAIT.

Baokwoods postofiioe in Tcnncasce: Postmaster and a number of friends are sitting around on boxes and chunks of wood. Postmaster (Aftcr gazing attentively at pewter wAtoh)-- "Mail's sortcr lato. Reckon the creek is hendcrln' tho mail rider"
 Bob Withcrs -- "When wux ther mall duo, Abs"
 PM. (agaln looking at hIs watch) --"Day beio' yestidy."
 Lige Sevicr--"Then 1t is about timo hc wux hero."
 r. M.-"Yas, fur these folks round hero arc allus In a powerful hurry fur ther mall. They air so impatient that they don't know whHt ter ao."
 Withcrs-"I know that, fur olo man Ashley, that has been expeetin' uy a letter fur two munts, cussed liko the mischief the luther day when he tound that 1t hadn't come"
 r. M--"Yas. that's the way with these American folks. They neye. havc Earned how ter walt. I'll toll you whuPs faok, patience k mighty good thing Ef ole Waahing- ton hadenter had patience he never woulder done whut hc done, an whom 1 think crbout him it sortcr makes me hot at the rushin' fellcrs nv this here community. Wy, they growl when they halter walt CT week UT two. Slch grumblin' makes me tired, I'll tell you that now"
 Scvicr-T don't blame you. uv co'sc fl man nachnlly gifts tired alter while but whut's tho usep ruahin through lifeg know 1 don't howl when my letters don't come"
 Withors-"When did you git lct- tori"
 Sevier-"Oh, never you mind. Pvc got three or fo' letters, l reckon. know whut's goiD' on In the world hear me-"
 sevier-~"Yas, you mout git letters but Dob Piper got a newspaper CT few days ergo, an thar wux his name all writ out on the kivsr."
 Withers-"Oh, now, here, I ain't tryin' ter buck ergin Piper. He is an edycatcd man-way up in the picters -an' you don't expect me ter pull er- gin him."
 sevier--"Not CT tall. We know he is CT scholar. don't know who sent him the paper, but reckon he's knowcd so fur erwsy from home that CT good many folks wants ter show thar 'preciation nv him. Say, Jim lsddressing the postmastsr), whut have yon got on han's7"
 r. M.-"Huthin' but CT few postal cards."
 Sevisr-"Wali, fetch 'en out.s
 Ths postmaster brings out the pos- tal cards and the boys spell out their 
 Withsrs-"Sorter light haul, CT the boys say thn go in seinin'. Wy, thar ain't no information comint through this office at the present"
 r. M.--"Mighty little uy late. ThTea days ago ws got a card that called CT fsller CT wolf an CT thief. an yistidy one said CT teller would steal er lot CT buryin clothes, but some fsllers come erIong sn tuck 'em out. That's alters the wsy. When we git snthin' interestiH some felIer comes sriong an robs us uv it.S
 Withers-"Ain't you got no card thst cusscs CT ieiler7s
 F. M.--"Not at ths present."
 Withers-@Wsll, yo' bixness must 'e runnin' mighty low"
 F. M.-"Yss, fur you know this is he dull season uv the year. You lest wait, sn' efcrsps air good youTI co ome lively docymsnts in this here 'ostofdce yit. You,l co cards that all men liars, an thieves. snp covsrds.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-05-05


 and her glorious taoe and hggcr. The doctor is a bach you know, and 1t wouldn't surprise me if the two didn't make match of 1t. I'm told that l.e is paying devoted attention to tho fair Millie right along and tho congrega- ton generally favor tho Idea. She's nice girl. Millie Robeson is, and though l am informed that she has boon mar ried four or Ave times, think tho reverend Doc. and she would make a stick of 1t. He's pretty constant, you know, and think that Millie would soon sec that 1t was to her advantage to hold on."
 Colonel B.-"I didn't happen to bc along that night, general, but heard of 1t, and was mighty sorry wasn't. Pm told that your party knocked the mock oiicn about basket of cham- pagne."
 General C.--"Yes, colonel, and four extras, but the clerical party seemed to be unusually dry that night, 'spc- cially Rev. Rafter, who had just got In on the coach from Aspen, where he had been attending chris'ning, and then Doc Curtis, you know, ho wanted to do the grand on Millic's account, specially as 1t was money in Millie's pocket, the gang being her'n and she comin' in, of course, for commission on all the wine she sold"
 Colonel E. (laughiDg)-"Iiad m eye on keeping the money In the family, too, s'pose. I'm told that Faro Pete was In the party, also"
 General C.-"Yes, indeed, and " hats more, he went dead gone on the Doc, and said right there that he had an ex. tra faro lay y-out that he was going to put up at rafile to help buy some new books for Doc's Sunday school. He's n good man, Pete Is, and will probably jine our church before he goes over to Red Cliff to start that new dive" Colonel E.. --"Yes, Pctc's got his heart in the right place. haven't forgot how he gave the whole ot one nights winnin'n 10 get the pews in Mt. Zion repainted, and not only that, set up the drinks free to every mem Der of the church the time he married the sixth Mrs Pete, though she didn't live with him more than three days till he licked her and she got hnffy about 1t and lit out. Pears to me that some women never do know when they've got good thing, for Pete's well fixed, and l know he's good provider. He sets up the best free lunch in town, anyhow. His place has been on my route for nearly two months"
 General c. (lsughing to himself, as if he had been ruminating over some thing unusually pleasant, ,)--"Colonel, I don't think 1 ever can forget that little scrap between Doc. Curtis and Elder Brock, that night last winter down at Whisky Jim's place. They got to arguing on foreordination, and the discussion got go hot that the Doe, all al once, flung his bitters in the cid CTS face and they had it, rough and tumble, for about i've minutes fore we parted 'eIn. Such awkward spar rim I never saw, even between couple of amateurs. But here, we are nearly to the depot. I'll tell you the balance as we go along. l want to see the conductor . minute before we get in. 1" And they caught up their "grips" and darted out into another car, leav- ing the party from the orient putting | on their wraps with trembling hands, horror depicted in every lincament | and line.-- WM TIsscher.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-05-05

Fogg tells of . lisping clergyman who is in much request at the mar riage solemnizations in his town. It is % pleaAnt, you know, to promise to cling to man "for better or for Tr0ascrfpf.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-05-05

De 'oman dat doan hate kain't love an de straunger she hates some man, de straunger she lubs some udder man.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-05-05

When CT man puts hisse'f ter gre't trouble ter show me dat he has toP de truff, knows dat he has toP me CT lie.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-05-05

"Loifs h . constant sthruxrIs against fste,S aid the Irishman who couldn't Ind pair of ahoss bi9 enough for him. Mscaoo NsrcAast TrGUeIey.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-05-05
PLANTATION PHILOSOPHY.

Widout trust dar ain't nuthin' gained; widout trust dar ain't nuthin' lost.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-05-05

neber did think dat de sharp man does de country any good. De fox is CT good deal slier den de hoss but he ain't nigh so straung.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-05-05

We thinks mo- O de man dat neber would 'comerdate us den we does de man dat 'comerdated us three times but failed on de fou'th.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-05-05

Common sense is the stalk of corn {; genius is the tsssel that grows upon 1t.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1888-12-14
A Pug Dog in q Fix.

Among the first class passengers on
d steamer bound for New Orleans the
other day was pug dog, which was
travelling alone and for whose trans
portation SIS had been paid The por>
ter had been subsidized to take care of
the dog, quite an easy matter, as PIGGY
was the most docile of his kind, gen
orally stayed put" and, besides was
a favorite with the passengers, whose
society he finally enjoyed without re-
straint on the hurricane deck. On the
last day at sea cry of dismay suddenly
arose from the deck and that dog be-
came the sole object of attention.
There was the pug, with blue ribbon
around his neck and the tightest Of
curls in his tail, on the awning that
stretched to the deck below, his head
npinted seward, slowly, but surely,
Slipping toward the Gulf Of Mexico
He was a goner unless somebody
reached him, for he could not help
himself, and if he moved muscle it
would only accelerate his progress.
There was a great scramble on deck,
and then, just as puggys nose began
to project over the side, passenger
who had clambered over the rail
caught him firmly by the curl and
dragged him back to safety The
news gave the porter severe shock
and PIGGY was banished to the hold,
where he made the rest of the journey
in solitude. Boston Herald
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1888-12-14
An Artists Struggle for Fortune.

Money returns from literature or art
are apt to be surprises. George Hitch
cock had just been graduated at Har-
ward when l first knew him. He made
up his mind to be a painter He went
to Paris. studied and practiced under
Gerome and lived meanly enough,
though merrily, on very scant in
come. He sold his pictures at absurdly
low prices and in that way eked out an
existence. But one day he was de-
lighted to see picture that he had
sent to the Paris salon hung on the
line-an honor that means great deal
to an artist unknown to fame. The
picture was called Tulip Culture. !"
Isuppose it really was a good thing,
and yet no better than many a canvas
that he had sold fora few dollars. But
this success of exhibition brought a
customer who paid 1900, and not
only that, but he was thereby enabled
to sell all he had in his studio at good
prices. Cor. Philadelphia Times.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1888-12-14
A MINERAL CURIOSITY
lndestructible Cloth and Material Of,
Which It Il Made.

Gndestructible Cloth and Material OF,
Which It Is Made.
'Do you see anything remarkable
about this BIT OF cloth2" asked Pitts
burg gentleman, who has quite col
lection Of curiosities, addressing his
question TO Dispatch reporter.
Can't say that do. "
Throw it in the fire.
The newspaper man obeyed, think
ing the owner regarded it as value
less.
THAT piece Of cloth was one of the
most curious things in my collection.
It cost me neat little sum, too"
.sIf l had known that" began the
reporter, II would not
''Oh it'sall right. Fire won't harm
it," interrupted the gentleman. "See
will pick the fabric out with these
tongs and let it cool. You will then
see that it is just as strong as ever"
What sort OF stuff is it7'' asked the
wondering visitor.
"Asbestus. That is fragment of
piece of cloth woven in France,
don't know how long ago. There was
time when it was thought that the
making of asbestus cloth would be-
come an important industry, but so
many difficulties were encountered by
those who experimental with the stuff
that very little was ever made, and such
cloth is now rare curiosity. The
ancients wove this curious mineral
substance into fabrics which were
used to wrap the bodies of mummies.
''The name is applied to particular
forms of various minerals, especially
to certain varieties of hornblende ana
pyroxene. The word is Greek, and
means a substance indestructible by
fire. 1t can be fused, however, but
not readily. The fibrous varieties Of
asbestus are readily picked to pieces
with the fingers and look very much
some specimens being white, some
blue, others gray and brown. There
is variety known as mountain cork,
which is found in thin sheets and so
light that it will float on water AS
bestus is found abundantly in the
mountains of Italy and Switzerland
and in several states of this country.
1t is chiefly used in the manufacture
of fire proof roofing, steam packing
and for other purposes where light,
uninfammable, non-conductor is re-
ouisite. "-Pittsburg Dispatch.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1888-12-14
Our Postal Service,

Comparatively few persons who de-
pend upon Uncle Sam for their means
of communicating with friends out of
town have any idea of the vast army
Of men and women employed in the
United States mail service. There are,
to begin with, $500 postmasters,
presidential and otherwise; 1000 rail
road mail service employees, 1000 let
ter carriers, 100 inspectors, 5000 clerks
in the postoffices, 600 clerks in the
postoflice department. This gives you
o total of 1890 employees. Every
postmaster averages two assistants, and
this in round numbers amounts to
116, 400 persons, which number added
to n, 900 gives you 1914, 800 persons
New York Telegram.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1888-12-14
!. Well, my dear brethren. |

tons. Well, my dear brethren,
think we are many of us in the Kings
wagons, and we are on the way home.
The road is vey bad, and we get on
slowly; but after while we will come
winding out Of the woods, and through
the brook Of death, and up in front of
the old heavenly homestead; and our
departed kindred, who have been wait
ing and watching for us, will s,lsh out
through the doors and over the lawn,
crying: "The wagons are coming! the
Kings wagons are comingl" Hank |
the bell OF the city hall strikes 10.
Twelve o'clock ON earth, and likewise
it is high noon in heaven.
Does not the subject of today take
the gloom out of the thoughts that
would otherwise be struck through
with midnight We used to think
that when we died we would have to
60 afoot, sagging down in the mire,
and the hounds of terror might get
after US, and if we got through into
heaven at all, we would come in torn,
and wounded and bleeding. / remem-
Der when my teeth chartered and my
knees knocked together when l heard
anybody talk about death; but l have
come to think that the grave will be
the softest bed l ever slept in, and the
bottom of my feet will not be wet with
the passage of the Jordan. Them
that sleep in Jesus will God bring with
him."
/ was reading of Robert Southey,
who said he wished he could die far
away from his friends-like a dog,
crawling into a corner and dying un-
observed. Those were his words.
Be it ours to die on a couch surrounded
by loved ones, SO that they with us
may hear the glad, sweet, jubilant an
"The Kings wagons are
comingT Harkl l hear them now.
Are they coming for you or NEE
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1888-12-14
Insensible to Pain.

A traveller tells the following story
to illustrate the insensibility Of Maoris
to pain: MY friend" he says, "had
given Maori pair of boots, but they
were too short for him. For some
time he endeavored to force them on,
but this was impossible; so he seized
small tomahawk (hatcheD and cut off
his large toe 70 the length of his other
toes, end then applied some juice of
the flax plant Phormium tenax) to
the cut to stop the bleeding and pulled
Oh the boot, which was not removed
until the toe healed. He put on the
other boot after similar operation. !
have known several instances which
appear to provo that the Maoris are
less sensible to pain than Europeans
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1888-12-14
Hia Bangs Came Down.

II thought all women were vain,
but l believe that the men are try
ing to Guido u.s." pretty Linwood
avenue girl said. l knew she wanted
to go on and let her. 81 was at
party the other night and every wo-
man in the house had lots of fun with
one of the swallow tailed young men
present. He was in the habit Of curl
ing his hair with his sisters iron.
Dancing warmed him up and brought
the perspiration to his forehead. We
first began to see his hair coming
down like woman's bangs, but tina;
hair of his soon began to look like a
dilapidated bunch OF straw. He really
looked frightful. and when he saw
several young men and women smil-
ing at him he grew angry and sudden !,
ly bolted out Of the room. He didn't
dance any more that night. Buffalo
NaUS
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1888-12-14

An albino squirrel, with pink eyes,
attracts much attention and occasions
considerable comment at McClunie's
store on Asylum street. This partic-
ular squirrel is beautiful little ami
NAL, and its antics in the cage, in
which it is confined with gray squir-
rel, cause good deal of merriment.
The singular thing connected with the
squirrel is that it was found in the
same nest with four gray squirrels,
and there is no reason to think other
wise than that the animal is of the
same family. This morning the white
animal was amusing itself and quite
street crowd by climbing up the side
of the cage and turning backward
somersaults over a wooden perch. The
animal is valued at $25. Hartford
Times.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1888-12-14
Influence of Election Bets.

The probable success or failure of a
candidate is judged by the way the
betting goes, and the newspapers keep
the books. When we find our boys in
the pool room or at the keno and faro
tables how are we going to make it
clear to them that it is sin to stake
money on the turning of a card and
they are liable to be arrested, but if
they put their money on the counting
of the ballots the law will wink one
eye and shut the other, and public
opinion, which is in fact the moral
law, will sustain and sanction the act2
Ida Harper in indianapolis Journal.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1888-12-14

p stands for Pierce, the wonderful doctor,
Providing safe remedies, of which he is
concoctor.
Pleasant to taste, and easy to take,
Purgative Pellets now ''bear off the ceke,',
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1888-12-14
ITEMS OF VARIOUS KINDS.

It's not a good plan to take off the
cover of the stove to toast or boil any
thing when there is dish in the oven.
Never throw away cold potatoes, as
there are so many delicious ways in
which they may be warmed over and
made into new dishes.
A Chanute Kan) minister prayed
that ''the Lord would not withhold his
blessing from this congregation, even
if some Of them were looking round
at some one else."
James Payn, the present well known
novelist, it is said, has turned out as
the product of his pen in thirty years
over 100 volumes, mainly fiction, but
embracing some other topics.
The greatest span of cantilever
bridge is that of the Forth bridge,
which will be finished in October,
1889. It has two of 1,710 feet each.
Its extreme height will be 361 feet
above high water, the foundations go
ing ninety-one feet below high water.
The right Of rendering bill of ex-
ceptions to a judges charge, as to his
definition of the law, at trial be-
tween parties, obtained place in the
English statutes in 1884. This right
was abolished in England in 1875, but
it is still maintained in this country.
HIIa man has. settled the
IL ~ w. llllgy 1slas HI ssy sf they
dig their own wells, each village hav
ing one with concealed opening. He
knows of one such well 200 feet deep,
having a circular staircase leading
down to the water.
The first patent ever issued in
America was given to Samuel Hop
kins, of Philadelphia, in 1890, for an
in the manufacture of
potash.
It has been found that goose can
bear the weather until the mercury
falls to ga below zero, but succumbs if
it goes lower. 1t takes fall of IL de-
grees more to kill wild duck