Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1888-03-16
PITH AND POINT.

Lifting garments-Law suits.
When man is attacked by bull
dog which he turns to stone, does the
dog become petrifaction3- Yoahers
Gazette.
Did YOU ever notice that a man goes
to lawyer and to physician for pre-
cisely the same purpose-to recover. ST.
ANGnS N sSenger.
We stop the press to announce the
startling news that tan colored kid
slipp.rs go with gowns of any color
EnN rnGpoi3 NerS,
Vo'apuk appears to be the last de-
spairing effort of Europeans to prevent
English from becoming the universal
language. Omaha Wortd.
The woman suffrage movement in this
country is forty years old, aud there are
some women who have courage to ad-
NIT that they helped start it.
"What a picturesque little cottagel
A veritable Swiss chalet" "a Swiss
shall he, do you call it? To my mind
it's more like an Irish shan't he"
He's perfect stick
The silliest kind of catch" y
" And she's all birthstone i
Both will make a match"
--Harper'S Bdzdr.
"There is no virtue in vinegar" says q
scientist. None, eh2 1t does what
many so called men do not do--supports
its aged mother. r.-BinghamtOn Repub-
Hcdn.
The bagpipes were invented by the
Romans, saws recent writer, and not
by the Scotch. If this is true, itrelieves
the Scotch of a serious responsibility
Bost0n Courier.
Father Sunday morning)-"Wake
up, John. It's time to go to church!
Voice from up stairs-"Yes, father, but
whats the use! l can sleep just as well
here. ."--Syt5ngs.
Old Mother Peter, she went to the
meter to see how much gas she had
burned; she danced cotillion when she
read seven million, and her mind was
forever o'erturned.
Landlord-"M O'Hoolihan, I'm
thinking of raising your rent" Mrs.
O'HooIihan-"Begorrah, Pm glad OF
that, for I can't raise it myself, at all,
at all."-NeJraska Journal.
At Musicale. He-"Shall l bring
you an ice while Miss Yellfort is singingG
Pray take something" She "a rival Of
Miss Y.)-"Thanks, no. If l took any
thing it would be ether.-LVe.
Robinson-"How about that note
hold of yours, BROWNE I've got it so
long that whiskers are beginning to grow
on it." Brown ."Why don't you get it
shaved, then2'-Harper's Bdsar.
Once cooking was the proper thing,
Then Browning drove the women mad;
Poor Buddha's gone to fold his wing
But whistling is the coming fad.
Boston Courier.
"Bob, you say that you believe most
diseases arc contagious How long have
you entertained such notions" Ever
since sat alongside of a blue-eyed girl
and caught the palpitation Of the
heart"
Utah is knocking loudly for admission
into the Union. Nothing should avail
except u ticket inscribed as was Artemus
Wards free passes to his lecture on the
Mormons: "Admit bearer and one wife"
-Sytings.
"Oh, pa! pal" exclaimed Lucy. as her
father returned to the parlor after throw
ing the young man out, show could your
That was my Bill" "Well," returned
the irate parent, 'Tve settled it."-Neao
H0rt San.
He was talking to an Arkansas audi
ence on the subject of the tariff. Said
he: Take whisky, for instance" when
every man in the audience arose with the
remark: "Thank you; don't care if
do" and the lecturer had to stand treat
Or die.
THE NEW GIRL
" You may wake u.s." the mistress said,
" When the coffees on, and the table spread"
The new girl answered: "1t be late
In gettin up, We needn't wait;
amt pertikeler whin ate"
Detroit Free Press.
A young man in railway carriage was
making fun of lady's hat to an elderly
gentleman on the seat with him.
yes" said the elderly gentleman,
"thats my wife, and told her if she
wore that bonnet some fool would make
fun of it,"