New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-01-14
TIE Talk OF The DAY.

Says "The Arizona Howler,' Tears are In our
voice as we record the sudden demise of that esteemed
lawyer and good all around man, Billy swipem his
taking away by death, the ruthless snacher VIII 10
regretted as wei by the barkeepers by the bar OF
our hustling town. which is now experiencing DOOM
such as it experienced before. Corner lots are
going like hot cakes and the voice Of the tendeffOos
is heard in the land Billy has gone to tho sweet i~
away and we doubt not his spirit Is mingng In s"ecs
converse with the spirits that are there Immediately
after the funeral which will take place on Tuesday,
the Widow Muldoon's lot. No. TO- section IL, plot d
will DO rallied OFF at Al. Blodgets saloon; and it Is
hoped that the boys will give the charming widow
drst-class send-of. 'The HOwler's' oiice-boy VIII
be there with his trusty pistol to collect back sud
scriptions and We bespeak for him kindly reception
An acquaintance of mine, who is hotel clerk at
place where business oHem t tdAT n inc 1w c"nd
Dental day and Informed me that certain rloh
guest whom he called a miser' because the man OBJ
jected to being robbed, making fuss about NOT
having received his proper change.
And did you give him his right change" was
innocent enough to ask
@Of course not, said the clerk. 81 could not live
IL It was not for my chances in making change. IL
he wanted any correction he should have kicked when
got his money. After he left the desk IL was TOO
late"-(NewYork Letter In Providence Journal
An amusing Incident occurred on one Of the Brooklyn
Elevated Railroad trains the other evening the moral
Of which dyertIsIng signs elevated railroad
platforms may sometimes be nuisance. AS the
train In question was slowing up lady turned to .
gentleman sitting next to hor and inquired the name
Of the station. The gentleman who appeared to DO
a great Ovcrgrown countryman, wearing slouch hat
and verdant smile, peered for an instant out of tho
window, and then slowly said " Well, Madam, amt
quite sure whether 1t is Castoria or Carbolinc"
General Neal Dow has Just signed a contract
TO smash the Republican party. the Presidents friend
Eugene Higgins has been repudiated by the Maryland
.
speech All this proves that 1883 is going to be
bad year for the Democracy-tSt. Louis Giobe-
Democrat
Here's the way Hudson River Railroad men speak
OF capable locomotive pulling heavily loaded trap
over the hill west Of the Albany station: Jimmy
pulled us over the hill fyIn'' swell that big steer
OF machine oughter. She's strongernough to pun
the whole road
what 10 . 'seedlees' raisin, and how - It pro
next time you cat piece of minco pie he replied
you Will find the seeless rasin IN IT, u the meat
coored fruit about the 81 70 of gooseberry and Is
used with an unbroken skin IT comes from smyrna
simply by arresting one Of the wa Of nature. When
the grape is about ha npe the end OF the vine -
eent aud bnrel IN tho go1nd' TINS prevents inc
fruit but II rpens all the same and has delicious
Observation-Disclosures Times.
One of the features of the electric light plant
In the city of Utica is the big belt connecting engine
GAG adult cows. At this rate, good dairy butter In
Oneida County promises to advance In price.
Say Frank, this Is leap year. will you DO ours ~
exclaimed two pretty brght,cyed maldens to Young
man on the East Side the other evening: ~Of course
sponse Then The madens were unhappy. They
won't get the Rid gloves. which would have been mo
bill recently presented to the Kentucky Legisla-
provides that each county in the State shall vote
next November whether or not 1t VIII have prohibition
II majority OF tho votes in the whole state favor
prohibition 1t shall apply to the whole State Any
single county district n a county that votes dry'
shall have prohibition. II county votes dry tho
question shall be referred TO popular vote again
for ten years. II It goes Wet there shall be another
vote on II the next year. The penalty for Illegal
selling SHALL after the third offence, be not less than
- 900 and three months Imprisonment There 6
some expectation OF the passage OF the BILL
Sunday after church:
Wife 10 husband who had heard a sermon-Wcls
HusbaadrThe Word Is tho Truth or something
like that.
wifc-was It a good scrmoni
Hnsband-Tho first half hour was good enough
but clear through the latter half no kept saying.
one word more,' "anorher word,' "a word In con,
clusion,n "only a word more" and so on until
didn't know which word was the truth, ana got 80
mixed up that I lost confidence In tho whole busi-
| ness Washington Critic
| Says "Thc Harrodsburg Ky) Democrat" 1--WE
brothers, not living more that fifty miles from harV"
burg look much alike that whom one OF them lohoe
tho Baptist church. and about TO DO Immersed. w
found that he had clothes suitable for the ocoAon'
he expressed 1t, and paid his brother ten oo"'s "
DO baptized In his place. which was done ms soy
seems incredible. but It Ia nevertheless the ta'' .as
would never have been found out had not ONO VI WV
brothers gotten angry and gave it away
A teacher correcting tho history examination pAp''
| Of her class; , ,r.ra and vhy
Answer sThe Purtans were . religious sec. w WrS
| Loft EnyIand because they were pcrsecuted lncy ~
,vsn 20 Holland, but left there and came 70 Ap ANY,
Mscausc thew did not want their children orousn' "
Dutchmen-" n
aThs Springfield Republican still retains 10 proud
ros,tiou as tho only paper in Now-Hnsiand wnNs
smells catalogue and programme 'casaiog' ana pro-
gram. "rhe Republican 10 . Mugwump 10 spea'ns
| as we'll As In politics.
| Al tho church sociable acious young iaay
| CHESS what we are going to have tonight ME-
| Bascom-eharadesi -. ,,. ,or, .,aar mn
| MIS- Bascom--I knowed II smcit en- coE ou'
| 10 tho gate.-(Burlington Free Pross'