Sharp County record., 1888-04-12
A TAILOR'S GOOSE.
Autobiography of Very Modest
Smoothing Iron.

am only tailor goose. Yet, hum
BILE as am, I form the primary wedge
in the social ladder on which my owners
have reached the goal of their ambi-
ton. | am rusty, and the dust of years
has settled upon me. Ignored and
despised, am cast aside. The very
mention of my name causes the blood
TO flush the face of those who should
honor me, for it was | who earned
their bread and smoothed from their
lives the lines of care and poverty
when smoothed the seams from our
patrons suits. How well I remember
it all. The plain little house Of Peter
Jinks, and how he brought one day his
young wife home and proudly showed
her his possessions.
Here" said he, with the pride of
monarch, lis our living-room, and
here next is my cosy little shop, and
there" said he, pointing to me, 'is
my brand new goose"
An! CIlCu Suci hOW ouuS tiu
nice; and our goose is 50 bright" and
caressingly she laid her hand upon me.
Peter dear, we can work toge ther
now I can sew the seams and you
can ply the goose! And there is your
sign! How beautiful! Red lettersP
"Poter Jinks-Tmlor' Why, love,
it reads like poem," she said, en-
Enthusiastically How stronge that l.
Peggy Brill, little barmaid, to marry
aman whose name appears in red let
terSi hes-7-ortfhTe -,7o ne public. MEnoble nus
band5 a6w proud am of YOU
Thus closes my memory of the first
chapter in the Jinks household.
The years passed and brought pros
perity to Peter Jinks. As his family
increased his business grew apace.
From his humble cottage he moved to
one of the prominent commercial CEN
ters of the city, and on his enlarged
SIGN we're, in golden letters, added:
Merchant tailor, with Paris styles. "
A few more years the sign was
abolished and Jinks was a rich man,
and he become an importer of goods.
l. of course, was cast aside, and for
years rusted in the debris. One day,
to my surprise, Jinks saw me. His
fingers, that were once hard and
horned with million needle marks,
were now smooth and white. Amaze
ment all! was lifted carefully from
my surroundings of trash with those
same smooth hands. That night was
taken home with him. Wife" said
he. 'here is our dear old goose; take
care of it, for it was the first friend of
our honeymoon. Do you not remem-
ber the time I brought you home as
my bride? l can see you now rs you
caressed it so lovingly with those
pretty hands "
"C,aser' cried Mrs. Jinks, loudly.
"You brute! How can you be so cruel?
Have mot pleaded with you never to
refer to that past, so degrading to our
present social position?
There see what you have done!
Justicia has almost swOoned! and
she rushed wildly to uphold the 1.-THE,
limp form of Miss. Jinks, who was
gasping; Take it away! Take it
awayI
Yes, love- cried the fond mother
Papa is too cruel; you may look up
now; the horrid thing has been re-
moved" Justicia raised her languid,
azure orbs, and gasped with relief
Now that our daughters have COM
pleted their education, said Mrs
Jinks, few days later to her hus-
band, 'fheir culture and excessive re-
fnement need a more aristocratic
sphere. You must buy or build a
residence on Crabapple street" "
Madame, are you mad?" cried
the exasperated Mr. Jinks. Il will
consent to no such folly
But remember the future of our
children" screamed the persevering
matron. Come, girls, plead with
your father Think of home on
Crabapple street! You will be part of
the social hash. Your fathers pet,
the goose, will be forgotten, aud your
names will appear-as social lights in
print"
Delightful! our names in news
paperr' screamed Justicia.
TOO charmingI' calculated lTlemen-
tina.
lis time to bring the goose"
cried Mr.. j., as he started for the
garret.
Don't pray, don'tr' screamed the
three fainting women.
Notwithstanding Mr.. Jinks' sensible
reasoning. he was overpowered BY
feminine entreaties and before
Ana'her Veal The ,Crabapple street.