davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1888-12-27
WHAT CAUSES M1RTH.

All Mirth-Causing Agents Are OF one
Kind and Differ Only in Degree.
Sydney Smith gave the true answer
when he said that the form of mental
pleasure we call mirth was due to the
discovery of congruity in seeming
incongruity Or the reverse. This is
best illustrated by an example Boileau
had a brother who was a neauct1s sMjet,
failed in life and came to ask for help.
Boileau upbraided him with his mis-
conduct. pointed out how they had
both started in life under equally ia
yorable conditions and with equal
chances, and yet how differently they
had got on. "Ah! but just think" ex-
claimed the brother, ''what an inn
mense advantage you had over me in
brothers, The discovery of the point,
the seeing of the joke, is, says Sydney
Smith, analogous to the pleasant men,
tai feeling in discovering something
quite new, or in suddenly understand
ing something dark to US before. This
sensation is always pleasant, but in a
joke the discovery, since it is carefully
prepared for, is momentary, unexpect-
ed and without toll, and therefore far
more highly pleasurable than the ordi-
nary mental discovery. To take an
other example, that of the wooden pave
ment before St. Paul's: eff the Dean
and Chapter would only lay their heads
together, the thing would be done."
said Sydney Smith. Here very clearly
the fun is in the pleasure occasioned
by the instant mental discovery of the
connection, Notwithstanding the APP
parent complete incongruity, between
the heads of the Dean and Chapter and
the wood pavement. Now, the slower
mind works, the more difficulty it
has in quickly following out the con-
gruity through the apparent incongru-
tiles, or the incongruity through the
apparent congruities, and so in seeing
the joke. Men with slow minds, then,
prefer the plainest form of discovery
such as the mere noticing that some
thing out of the ordinary is going
on, as when a man clowns 1t by
putting On an enormous hat. a carroty
wig, and sea-green coat. Thus, all
stupid and dullwitted people are most
easily amused by caricature and horse
play, and those minds which though
they are powerful are also sluggish
find it too hard work to follow men
tally the lightning flash in a finely
wrought verbal epigram. No doubt
such a theory as this postulates that
the man who likes Lamb and Sydney
Smith, but says he sees no joke at all
in buffoonery, really means that he
only sees very little joke, and that
he does not care for it because he can
see so much more in other things
This, however, agrees with common
experience. The man fond of the
highest kind of wit is never really
unable to see the fun of the clown,
though it may bore him by its small
ness; and if he is scientifically minded
he no more refuses to call it kind of
wit, humor Or fun than he does to call
viss ordi,aaire wine, though. as mat
ter of fact. what he really considers
wine is Lafitte. In truth, all tho
mirth-causing ngents are of one kind
and differ only ii degree. though the
degrees are often intense. Spectator.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1888-12-27
COVET THE BEST.
What Things to Make the Real Aim OF
Daily Life.


When St. Paul admonished his spir-
ago, what things to aspire to, what
things to busy themselves about, what
things to make the real aim of daily
life, outside of the necessary drudgery
for daily bread, he gave them advice
in words so true, so noble, so broad,
that when great English teacher of
our own time wished to lay down for
the remnant" who are to save the
numbers" of our modern civilization,
a rule of conduct which should
be explicit, and yet wide enough
to include all honest souls,
he used the very words of
the great apostle to the Gentiles. and
advised those who would be rich in
mental power and physical and moral
health to busy themselves exclusively
with whatsoever things are true,
whatsoever things are honorable,
whatsoever things are just, whatsoever
things are pure, whatsoever things are
lovely, whatsoever things are OF good
report; if there be any virtue, if there
De any GnluiA Oh lutSo
So we would humbly and earnestly
say to the young girl on life's thresh-
old, with all the world before her,
seemingly (and rightly SOY with all the
world in sling: Choose what your
desires shall be, for that in what you
shall be, and what life shall be
to yoA'' To the woman who. having
tastedNhe pleasures and excitements
of society, finds them either ''apples
of Sodom" or no longer available:
Turn and choose again nob1er pleas
ures, simpler aims. more unselfish tri-
umphs." To her to whom have been
given worldly riches and ''solid
wealth." great blessings if greatly
used: s'Set not your heart on them,
but on the desire to use them for the
elevation and help of your fellows, for
the cultivation and enjoyment of the
spiritual powers of yourself and your
friends. n-HqrDer,s WeeElU
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1888-12-27
IN FAIR BRITTANY.
Description of a Peasants Home, Its In
mates and Furnishings.

l entered at his invitation. The
small, low, smol1e-grimed room was
parlor. dining-room, kitchen, and
nursery-mostly nursery, it seemed, as
near as l could make out. l was still
blinking with the glare of the blazing
sun fiercely beating on liberal lime
wash squandered on every side-ex-
cept inside. There was pungent
reek of past and present smoke that
helped to obscure the sun-dazed vision;
and it was some minutes before made
out of the bituminous gloom that was
in the presence of an anxious young
mother, wistful and sad of face,
rocking pale young baby in as print
tive and touching cradle as ever |
met with. Mothers and babies and
cradles of all sorts and conditions had
l seen, and sketched, too, In my little
career, but never had l seen just
such mothers next before for any
mite of humanity. no matter how low
ly or forlorn. Jacky saw me cycling it
with an oblique glance of interest and
amusement, and fastened to explain,
with tone half proud, half apologize,
that he had builded it all himself, all
out of his own invention, parented by
the moment of necessity. The mate
rails were donations from various
sympathetic neighbors. The gro
GERS wife gave the oblong pack
ing-case; and he called my at
tention to its happy shape and size.
He made light of the various labels,
directions and other decorations, in
Guiding Tin big stenciled letters) that
word of caution. Fragile, on one end
of it. 'sIt made It more amusing" he
said. The rockers were made from a
couple of old chair backs donated by
the cabinet-maker. The canopy Gf
one may use so fine word) was an ar
rangement of old barrel hoops nailed
at the head, with an old faded shawl
gracefully draped over them. | stood
gazing at that quaint bit of home con-
trivance with far more interest than /
have given to many q carven and gild-
ed cradle of some by-gone princeling
In some museum. The poor father
could hardly interpret my smile of
amusement over his handiwOrk. He
did his best to explain and apologize,
never thinking that from my point Of
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1888-12-27
HISTORY OF QUININE.

Its Introduction Into Europe by the
Countess of Chinchon.
In the year 1859 the wife of Span
ish Viceroy of Peru returned to
Europe from that country, and, hav-
ing been cured of fever by the use Of
a tree bark, she was wise enough to
bring some of it home, with the inten-
ton of distributing it among the sick
on her husbands estate and making it
generally known throughout Europe.
The bark powder was not unfitly
called Countess powder (PIlrts cont
tteSSg), and by this name it was long
known to druggists in Europe. Mr..
Markham tells US, in his memoir of
her, that the good deeds Of the Count
ess are even now remembered (and
no wonderD by the people of
Chinchon and Coleman in local
tradition. No fewer than 142 species
of the tree have been named after this
benefcent lady, and their growth in an
extending zone in the East will surely
for ages keep her memory green.
Jesuit missionaries who afterward re-
turned from South America also
brought with them some supplies.
The lady was Countess of Chinchon,
hence the scientific name Chinchona;
the Jesuit missionaries gave to it the
more popular name of ''Jesuits' Bark. "
Quina was the native name of the bark,
and this of course is the original of
quinine, which has been retained for
perhaps one-half of the medical prepa-
lations from the bark. Little or moth
ing was, however, scientifically known
of the tree which produced the bark
till 1884 whole century after
its first introduction into Europe.
La Condamine and Jussieu, who
were then on an exploring expe-
dition In South America, after not
to having them sent to the Jardin DIES
Plantes in Paris. Unfortunately, the
whole collection persisted in storm at
sea, near the mouth of the River ANA
zon. Unfortunate it surely was, for
fully another century passed before
any thing effective and practical was
done to introduce or naturalize the tree
in Europe. or in suitable climates in
the eastern dependencies of England.
from which supplies might be as sured
And this, Notwithstanding the fact that
the French chemists Pelletier and
had in 1920 developed true
quinine from the bark. The first living
chinchona trees ever seen in Europe
were some calisaya plants raised at the
Jardin des Plantes in Paris from seeds
collected by the well-known French
man, DIR. Weddell, in his first journey
to Bolivia in 1916. Gentienaan'S IMdgG-
zinP
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1888-12-27
QUEER CREATURES.

| How Fish Are Caught in the Western
| Rivers of China.
A Chinese journal gives the follow
ing curious facts respecting some of
| the western rivers of that country:
The waters are perfectly clear, and the
| people do not use nets in fishing, but
| in the winter season construct RATS,
| and from these throw ON the water a
mixture of wheat and the seeds of a
species of fern pounded together,
which being eaten by the fish, they
appear to be killed, and rise to the
surface, but in a short time come to life
again. This they call making the fish
drunk.
In Eastern Turkestan fish are OBJ
tanned in similar manner: In the
spring, when the melted snow has
swollen the rivers, the fish are seen
swimming about in all quarters; the
fishermen Immediately make solu-
ton of herbs and sprinkle it on the
water, by which the fish become per-
fectly stupid and are easily caught.
Mohammedans do not eat them to
any great extent, except when null
berries are ripe, which are Away eaten
with them.
By the same authority curious &C
count is also given of a poisonous spe-
cies of lizard. 1t is amphibious, liv-
ing in mountain creeks Its forefeet
are like those of d monkey, the hind
ones resembling those of a dog; it has
long tail, is seven or eight feet long.
and has the cry of a child, which is in
Dictated by one of its names. 1t climbs
trees, and in times of drought fills its
mouth with water, and, conceali" G it
self in the Jungle. covers it's body with
leaves and grass and expands its jaws.
Birds seeking the water therein sus-
tanned attempt to Stake their thirst in
the trap, when they are soon gulped
down. The poison that it contains is
removed by suspending it from tree
and beating it until all flows out in the
form of white fluid.
Travellers in Mexico, however, de-
scribe still more awkward customer
of this species-a lizard which, as the
natives declare, will bite the shadow
of a person passing by, with the result
that he or she is afflicted for some time
after with severe pains in the head
Cleveland Leader,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1888-12-27
The Close of the Week.

Blessed be Saturday night! when the
labors of the week are ended. and
humanity takes, or should take, one
long breath of repose; when the noise
of the anvil and loom is still, and
silence reigns for one day where Mann
mon and busy care have sat enthroned.
With the dust washed from his brow,
the son of toll sits a king, with his
baby subjects on his knee. All the
week he has obeyed orders; this day he
gires them. Here by the hearthstone,
master and operative stand in a sense
independent and equal. 1t is blessed
and soul-saving that the latter has
time to cherish this soothing influence
one day in seven. With these heart
ties and responsibilities, he takes those
dependent upon him by the hand. and
walks proudly forth with the proudest,
on this blessed day of rest. Ones
satisfied eyes follow such little home
groups with q benediction.-N. y.
Ledger.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1888-12-27
this. / really did not thinsS It would

this. / really did not think It would
make much difference"
Mrs. Leavenworth concluded her iet-
ter by giving the sad facts connected
with Martin Beers young life. end the
account touched the hearts OF All the
..busy workers and brought tears to
their eyes.
Henrietta seemed to be completely
overcome as she listened to Mrs. Leav-
enworth's letter. When shewent home
she stopped ut the store andbought ma
terial enough to make two waists for
Martin Beers, and when she cut them
out the next morning she was so par
ticular about her work that her mother
said: Seems to me you are taking
more pains than usual with your work,
Henrietta
Eyes, mother, I've got through doing
my work upside down. l began to
realize how careless and thoughtless
I've been all my life. l have done. so
many things in such an upside-down
sort of way, and I've let them go
without remedying the wrong either
begin to realize it all now. l may
sometimes thoughtlessly do more OF my
work upside down, but if ! do, dear
mother. will stop and take it out, and
do it all over again until it Is right
One can do a great deal of work in life
upside down. and 1 hope hereafter,
God will help me to have all that do
finished up square and true and lasting,
right side up" ~
''My dear, I can net tell how happy
you've made me-" the mother replied,
as she put her arms around her
daughter and kissed her.-Susan 4.
Perry, in the Evangelist.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1888-12-27
BONE-BUTTON MAKING.
The Process of Manufac ture from Veg
table Ivory.

The Process OF MANUFACTURE from NeSe-
table Ivory.
From human bones? No. From
ivory? No. From bone of dog or cat
tie? No. The other day, writes a cor
respondent, happened to call on Mr..
Church, who is master Of a small but
ton factory in Birmingham, and was
greatly interested in seeing tailor's
bone button made, just such a one as
you would find on your ulster or a
tweed coat. 1t was queer little fac
tory, made out of two or three cottages
rolled into one. First of all, was in
troduced to the raw material, which
lay on the floor of dark and dingy
little workshop, in which solitary
workman was standing at his bench.
o'sThere. said Mr.. Church, pointing to
what / took to be potatoes, there you
ssee what we call vegetable ivory. 1t
comes from South America, and grows
in clusters OF half dozen nuts.
That is the first state of the but
ton." We then went up to the
workman who was cutting up the
kernels of the nuts at a swiftly-revolv-
ing circular saw, an operation requir-
ipg great dexteritv, for slip might
DIST him a finger. This is the first
process. The kernel is easily extract
ed, the shell in which it is inclosed be-
ing thin and fragile. Although the kerr
nA is q nut, it would take strong pair
of jaws to crack it, and the teeth can
not touch it. The little white slabs
which. are cut out by the saws are
taken to the next department. where
the butsenis really formed in the Sc
ries of iathes through which it is
passed. The toolmaker, whose office
is Important. works at one end OF the
room; the first lathe cuts out the but
ton with the desired circumference,
regulated by a series of gauges, the
work being passed on to others for the
rim. and so on. Two women were
drilling the four holes of the buttons,
this being done by taking up each one
and subjecting it to the action of the
four-pronged horizontal drills, doing
their work with remarkable dizziness
and rapidity The button. so far
as it's form goes. is finished. Il
now remains to do the polishing and
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1888-12-27
rlTh AND POINT.

lie who Is unconsciously selfish Is
not SO dangerous as he who is con-
sciously so; the former betrays his
selfishness, tho latter conceals it
The best way to punish those we
really love is to so conduct ourselves
that our friends will be sad to think
they have not always acted toward us
as we have toward them.-Sunday
Evening Talks.
Nothing makes so much noise as
rickety wagon, with nothing in it, I'M
less it be a man who insists on talking
when he has nothing to say Youngs-
toa0n Evening Telegram.
Genius is like barrel ON the top
of hill; 1t will not indeed move I'M
less pushed, but once pushed it goes of
itself. Talent is like load on the
roadway; it will not go forward unless
dragged.
The only thing that can down true
genius and curb genuine inspiration is
a pen that catches in the paper and ex-
ecutes a design in splatter-work at
every third stroke. Irac-
eler.
"A thorough critic is a sort of Puri-
tan in the polite world. As an en-
thusiast in religion stumbles at the Or
binary occurrences of life, if he can
not quote Scripture examples on the
occasion, SO the critic is never safe in
his speech Or writing, without he has,
among the celebrated writer's, an au-
thority for the truth of his sentence
Sir r. Steele.
Dress and the way it is worn are
indications of character, says an ex-
change. If the heels of the boots are
BACKED, you may be pretty sure that
the boy Or man is thorough in what
ever he undertakes. He learns his
lessons not because he must, but be-
cause he desires to learn. When he is
sent to clean up the garden he rakes
the dead roots and vines in pile for
burning; there are no stray piles hid
den in the bushes near the fence. He
blacks the heels of his boots.
Every body has a mission nova
days, or is trying to find one, and it is
always intended for somebody's bene-
fit, like the old stories with moral,
which were the only kind considered
fit for Sunday reading, although any
sort of trash was good enough for the
other six days. But let us say, for the
consolation of those who have not yet
found their particular object in life,
that perhaps the very best thing they
can do for the benefit of others is SIM
ply to be healthful and happy them
selves.
Those "agnostics" are a queer
kind of folk, aren't they? All about
mature in general, and human nat
ure in particular, and history, and
literature, and art, and philosophy,
and every thing else they see as plain
as pikestaff and talk of loud and
long, with full assurance. It is only
when they come to truths that are of
the very first practical Importance to
men, essential to the souls welfare,
growth, and usefulness; truths as to
which, therefore, infinite love has
made the clearest revelations in the
most positive terms-that these men
''don't know" and ''can't say."-Bostoaa
COngregdtiOnalist.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1888-12-27
The Plot Miscarried.

Winks (cheerilly)-Hello, Jinks,
how did that little plot of yours work
yesterday?
Jinks (savagely)-What little plot?
..Why, old fellow, you know you
suspected Mrs. j. rather liked Mr..
Dashaway's society, and to satisfy
yourself you had arranged for them to
|go to the theater together, and then
npu intended to slip in unobserved and
see whether she gave attention to the
play or to him."
Yes, remember.
s.Well. did you do iten
..N-o; she let the nurse go of, and I
had to stay home and mind the baby. !"
IN. Y. Weekly.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1888-12-27
THIN-SKINNED PEOPLE.
Poor Mortals Whose Moral Cuticlc Is A
t0getbec Too Sensitive.

Poor Mortals Whose Moral CuticIc Is Al
together Too Sensitive.
Occasionally one meets with indi-
viduals whose moral cuticle is as sem
sitive as the leaf of the mimosa. Ev-
their estimation, as palpably intended
for them as was the arrow labeled
''for the right eye of Philip" for that
monarch's dexter optic.
1t is painful to be in the society of
such people. One is afraid to speak,
lest he should hurt feelings that are al
ways on the gui UiUe to be hurt. Cen
sure fault common to the race, and
your thin-skinned acquaintance at once
appropriates the structure. In vain
you generalize-he focalizes; the focal
point being self.
Conscience has in cases its share in
bringing home a casual expression to
vidual; but egotism and conceit are,
we believe, at the bottom of a good
deal of the morbid constituencies one
encounters. A man must be very vain
who imagines that his particular weak
ness is matter of sufficient interest to
society to provoke it's continual ridi-
Guile.
Be assured. We of the tender moral
epidermis, that most of the express
sions at which you take umbrage
would have been uttered though you
had never been born. The world has
something else to do than make caps
you come across one about your size,
don't suppose it was got up specially
for your caput-there are plenty of
heads that it will fit besides yours.
The best way is not to put it on.-N.
Y Led0er,