Charlotte messenger. [volume] (Charlotte, Mecklenburg Co., N.C.) 1882-18??, 1888-03-10
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Sign for money lender-Lucre herei
Gentlemen learning the cornet should
employ private tooters.
An awkward waiter frequently playl
the deuce with the tray.-Hotel Nail.
Miss Columbia was the first girl to get
New Jersey. Pittsburg Chronicle.
The pen is a mighty engine, and il
sometimes runs away with the engineer.
Chicago Times
The barbcr's is strange profession.
You seldom see one that is not Mt the
head. -,StatosmGR.
Says the New Haven Ne'rs: "a foot
rule-wear oyershoes." We should cal
that two-foot rule. -No7ristOwn Herald.
When Dakota becomes State it will
doubtless adopt as its coat-of-arms an
car-mulf couchant and shiver rampant.
--Gmphic.
To bashful correspondent THE first
thing for you to do is to pop the question,
the second 10 question the pop.-Bur'
Hngtoa Free Press.
When Grecian athletes sought the fields
And nobly fell, in bravery utter,
They brought them home upon their shield
They bring them home now on shutter.
Detroit FIRE. Press.
We don't know whether to believe the
story that Mr.. IIowelIs replied to person
who asked for list of the best hundred
books: 81 have not written hundred
books. ."-Life.
A girl who weighs 1870 pounds and has
S30 900 in her own ght, no matter how
homely, unattractive or cross-tempered
she may be, is worth her weight in gold.
Boston Cowier.
The Boston Transcript knows of an
erudite clergymen who spoke Of the un.
fortunate woman of Sodom as Lots
ladv who was transformed into a mono
lth of chloride Of sodium"
Their chaste salut..s are not misplaced
When women kiss friend or brother;
But of life's honey what a waste
There is when women kiss each other.
-Bosfon Courier.
Deacon Jones Ito mInister)--'fThe col
lection this morning, Mr.. Goodman, was
gratilyingly large" SIinister--''Yes,
deacon, noticed quite a number oi
strangers among the congregation. -
Epoch.
Husband (groaning) ''The rheuma-
tism in my leg is coming on again"
Wife with sympathy "Vh, am so
sorry, John. wanted to do some shop.
ping to-day, and that is sure sign Of
rain. ."-Epoek.
A lover who addressed love scented
letter 10 the object of his affections, ask
ing the young lady to become his partner
through life. inscribed on one corner ol
the envelope, "Sealed proposals" The
result was he was awarded the contract.
A note from rural postoffice in Ten
nessce reads ''Dear -- The reason
] did nit iaif when You laft at me IN the
Post Oils yesterday was because had .
bile on my fase and kant laf. If ! Ian
she II bust. But love you, bile or no
bile, lah or no laf."
The way some lovers cough and hem.
And seem 10 lose their breath, ahal
You'd be inclined 10 pity them,
Thinking their trouble is the asthma.
The way some maidens cough and hem.
You'd think their trouble is the asthma,
But It's not that which does all them.
They're only troubled with the ask maj"
-GOoddfi's Sun.
Nothing Serious. Clara Ito
Feathcrly, who is making an evening
calD-'loor little Bobby swallowed o
penny to day, and we've all been so much
worried about il" Featherly (somewhat
at "A loss for words OF encouragement
"Oh, wouldn't worry, Miss Clara;
penny is not much. .n--Harptr's Ba1ar.