The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1888-06-20
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Simple politeness-A bough TO tree.
Books that are always in season
pocket books.
The time for one to strike Sixty
minutes after twelve.
The dentist and glazier take great
pains with their work.
We don't see the propriety of wear
ing solid gold stud in a merely plated
shirt bosom.
Why is a mosquito like a musician
who plays for money! Because, after
the serenade is over he sends in his bill.
She (early in the evening)-"Good
evening Mr.. Sampson. Same she date
in the evening)-"Good night, George"
"Alaska is a fur country, isn't it, pro-
fessor 2" "Yes," replied the professor
codly, at is quite distant. ."-Pitburg
Chronicle.
A cow caused a serious railroad wreck
in Iowa. In Wall street the railroad
wrecks are generally attributed to bears.
Boston Bulletin.
A new paper called the Lamp has been
started by couple of ladies. Devoted
to "light" literature, it is presumed
-NOI IfotVWH LAtfUtts
1t is said that there is a carpenter in
Milwaukee who is so expert with his
lathe that he can turn deaf ear on the
slightest provocation. n.-LDe
Flossie (aged four)-"Bobby, why
do they call ministers doctors" Bobby
"a lad of considerable information)-
"Cos they make folks better. ."-Epoch.
He floated in at the wave of her hand
And tenderly pressed his suit,
But all of sudden he floated out
On the wave of her fathers boot
Detroit Free Press.
An old lady being late at church en-
tered as the congregation was rising
| from prayers. Lap said she, curtsy-
ing, "don't get up on my account."-
Neo York Necs.
Mamma Is A. M.)-"Mercy me! Dot,
what are you ringing that big bell forl"
Little Dot-"This flower in the window
! (pointing to a bud) isn't walked up yet"
-Omaha World.
In the court room. "Why is it they
are so mighty particular about keeping
orders here" "The Judge, you remem-
Der, can only serve during good be-
| havior. - Boston Transcript.
~ NEW l Olh luduuldNAulNl bNANNAbloNo
for men to hang dumb walters. We have
no doubt such men can be found, but in
what restaurants are they to find the
dumb walters !-Ael0 HUgeH Neps.
He who courts and runs away,
MAY live to court another day;
But he who courts aud will not wed,
May find himself in court instea1.
Life.
'If | take hold of this thing, you
know remarked the tar to the roofer,
"I'll stick TO it; never let go anything
90 into" And the ar kettle said he
could endorse the last statement.-Bar-
| de'te.
"Will you please give me something,
| sir2" begged a tramp. Certainly, re-
sponded the gentleman importuned.
| I'm a police justice, and if you will
step around to my office I'll give you
thirty days. n-NeO York. Telegram.
Although the King of Spain gets a
million dollars a year, yet he never
| drinks anything stronger than milk; be-
| longs to no clubs; never was out with
| the boys on toot; docs not smoke,
| chew, swear, nor play billiards, but then
he is only n year old.-DaasrFls Breeze.
Tramp Ito woman)-"Can you give
me something to eat, madam" Woman
NAV; there amt thing in the house /;
an, besides, pye got couple of letters
| to write an no time to bother" Tramp
! (pleadingly)- Madam, let me lick the
stamps, | can't starye. "-Ns'o York. Sun.
The man who owns lawn
Who's always up at dawn
To oil his patent mower doth begin, gin,
gin;
The time is drawing nigh
When we in bed shall lie
| At morn, and smile 10 hear its merry din,
Boston Courier
A few days ago two men were in the
| IIorsc Building barber shop. One had
/ red hair and the other was bald headed.
Red Hair TO Bald Head l-'Nou were
not about when they were giving out
hair" Bald Head -"les, l was there,
but they had only little red hair left,
and | wouldn't take it."-Nep lok
MeTcUy
"Are you the horse editorln inquired
an innocent looking young woman, app
preaching the desk of that functionary.
| Il have that pleasure, miss, ~ he replied,
taking off his hat. "Can you answer all
sorts of questions about horsesN "Well,
| | rather think | cam he said, with a
I prideful swell in his bosom. "OhA Pm
/ so glad, - she twittered. "Will yob tell
me the difference between bay horse
| and a sea horse" As she went out of the
office she smiled back at him, but he sat
/ gloomily at his desk aud sand nothing. -
! Washington critic.