Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1888-08-10
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Plane people-The carpenters.
A bouncing baby-A rubber doll
A shaky misunderstanding dice.
A party organ seldom gets out of tune,
A fast horse-Thc one that is hitched.
Old maids are not favorable TO adj
ages.
A we'll meaning man One who digs
one.
The sphere of the weather prophet
Atmosphere.
The typewriter is the only woman who
takes kindly to dictation.
A buckwheat cake and a home run de-
pend largely upon the batter.
A yacht can stand on tack without
swearing. Few men can.-Bost0H Courier.
One would think that most men had
struck their calling when they hear the
dinner bell.
For man to think he will live for
ever is the mistake of a mans lifetime.
-Picayune.
When a grocer retires from business
he weighs less than he did before
american Hebreoo.
1t doesn't bother a lawyer to see break
ers ahead-that is, if they are law-break-
rs.-NOrthloesterp.
The cat is versatile, and if you give
her a chance she'll become a lap-a- dairy.
-Yoakers Gdzette.
An old whaleman, being asked if he
admired the harp, said yes, if it was
harpoon. York star.
''Throw big stone at that cat, moth
err" said the sick boy, cor, in other
xUOr6C Crock mo tn Slapn -
A Gypsy Lore Society has been formed
in London. Is there any lower society
than Gypsy, anyhow!-Sittinqs.
"Give me a light lunch, >" said travel
er IN Russian railway restaurant. And
they brought him a tallow candle
Hotel Mail.
Mrs. Upton Flatte-''What are you
busting the furniture with, Bridget ?"
Bridget-''Wiv ther dust-pan, mum,
what else 2"
The war cloud that has been hanging
over Europe for several years must be
tired by this time. 1t ought to take
rest.-.SJtings.
A square meal may be served on a
round table without causing a premature
explosion of the canons of good TASTE
NeaO York Sun.
"Shoot folly as it flies" is good
enough for a winter quotation. The
summer rendition is: "Shoot flies as
they follow. "-LUe.
When you come right down to the
facts in the case, It's the loose-ftting
straw hat that shows which way the wind
blows !-Detr1it Echo.
In his hours of relaxation from work
on the motor Mr. Keely devotes his t.md
to patent toboggan that will slide up
hill.-NelO York Sun.
l saw a cow-slip through the fence,
A house-Hy in a store;
saw a wood chuck up the road,
And a stone-pick on the floor.
-CgereLdnd Herald.
An old man pretending to be reading
in car does not mean to look over his
glasses at the pretty girls opposite If
he does it is an oversight on his part.
Picayune.
The tenor in a fashionable church choir
found to his horror that his voice all at
once became unpleasantly thick. He
strained it, but without any good effect
-New York Iribaue.
DeaIer-'That hats worth two dollars
and a half, but will let you, as friend,
have it for two dollars" Brown-"An
right; but say, the fifty cents goes with
the hat, don't it?'-Lye.
From His Standpoint: Rutherford (of
New York)-''Evcr been East beforel"
Goldgate (of San Francisco)-"Oh,y esi
1 passed several days in Salt Lake City
three years ago. "-Ijd-Bits.
"What have you IN the shape of
orangesl" asked customer at the Com
posite Store in rural town. Base
balls and doughnuts. was the response.
''Which'l you haveP-Ne1O York Sun.
DR.. Daniel Wilson, of the University
of Toronto, has declined knighthood.
He has no intention of giving some
irreverent students an opportunity to
csll him 'Sir cuss. "-Ne~ Yark World.
1T is a pity" said an Irish laborer
the other day, as he mopped his brow;
''it's pity that we can't have the cowld
weather in the summer and the hot
weather in the winter. "-BOstOn Courier
1t does not require anything ex-
traordinary in the way of intellect to shoa
a horse, but there is fortune in store
for a man who can shoe fly so that the
little pest will stay shod- -HaTPeF'1