davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-02-04
"How take pity on you?" "Try me a few falls"

"Try me few falls"
 "What, wrestle with you?"
 "Yas."
 "Why, I can slam the lite out of you"
 "Oh, how the bright days uv the dun gone comes up befo' me. Fling me down an Pll put you over."
 "This is ridiculous"
 "But remember that l am po' man that had happy chil'hood."
 "Pll try you, anyway"
 The traveller got down and they took hold of each other. They pranced up and down the bank. The traveller, with an unlocked for twist, slammed the old fellow against the ground. He got up, gouged the mud out of one ear and said:
 "Lead yore critter in the boat"
 When they had reached the other shore, and while the traveller was pre- pairing to mount, the old man said:
 "Have you got any pity left fur CT old man that has hearn the dove call the fep-lark ter pra'rs? Kain't you squeeze out leetle mo- kindness fur a dead stick uv broke-down aristocracy that has seed the sap-sucker lead the bird ter the weddin' feast while the old crow mocked the ceremony an the sparrer- hawk waltzed on a fiat rock in the branch?"
 "What do you want?"
 "Another fall"
 "I'll try to accommodate you"
 They took hold of each other again, and again they pranced up and down the bank. The old fellow, catching a suddenly discovered advantage, threw the traveller with such force against a log that he was knocked senseless. When he regained consciousness, he looked about him and exclaimed:
 "Why, I am on the wrong side of the bayou"
 "Yas, I fotch you an yore hoss back. You see, as I flung you the last time, won the passage. Fling me agin an Pll take you over yan."
 "You old wretch, I won't try it again."
 "Then good day. Sweet days uv in- nocent youth, when the whippoor- will sung while the patri'ge an the ground mouse walked off ter church. He rowed his boat over to the other shore, leaving the traveller in danc- ing fit of rage.-Opie ?. Read.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-02-04
WANTED NO MACHINE.

A negro boy, having secured ther- mometer, took it home to astonish his father.
 "Whut you got dar?" the old man asked.
 "Got CT 'mometer."
 'eWhut is it ter do wid?"
 "W'y, it's one O deze yere things whut yer tells how coP UT hot it is wid."
 "Tells how col' UT hot it is?"
 "Yas, sah."
 "Look yere, is you sich CT fool dat yer kain't tell how coP UT hot it is? Is yer dun los' dat 'bility whut you 'herited rum yo' mudder an daddy mostly yo' daddy?"
 "W'y, c co'se ken tell how cop it is, but dis yere gins yer de figgers- how many 'grees it is."
 "Whut's 'grees got ter do wid it? Wen it's cop it's col', an dat's all dar is erbout it. Men gittiR mighty brash deze days er-gittin' up mer- sheens ter fool wid de Lawd's erfairs. Reckon alter vile da1l git suthin' ter figger out how much 'ligion CT mans got. Put dat blame 'mometer dar hind de fire"
 wy, daddy. L."
 "Put it hind dar, tell you. Now take dat axe am go out dar in de woods an chop down dat tree dat Pse been peckin' at; am I bet yer won't want no mersheen tell yer bout de wedder."
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-02-04
NO WAY TO ACT.

Black Joe. while sitting at a table ia X mock K need Hens catfish. restaur- ant, took up glass of water and ex- cinisned:
 Look ycre, Mir. Ben, ain't you got no better water den disI"
 "Whut's de matter wid dat water71
 "W'y, it's all full O little white specks."
 "Co'se 1t Is wen you hoi 1t up twix you an de light"
 "i ain't gwiDe drink no sich water CT dis"
 "Den git outen yere. Come roun' yerc hoidin' up CT mars water twix you an de light. Dat aiD't no way ter ack in CT place like dis"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-02-04
CHICAGO ARK. SATURDAY, ls

"'l would like to get warm,' said |. "IIelp yourself said he.
 "I sat down and held my wet hands over the blaze.
 "Travelin'?' he asked
 "'Sorter,' replied,
 "Whut church do you run with?' he asked
 "Well,' I replied, my range Is rather uncertain at present, but have run with most all of them
 "tEver jog along with the Hard- Shells?'
 ".No.'
 "'That's the church, said he.
 "Wish you could prove It. TO- piled.
 "'l ken, said he. Bill addressing his son, 'retch back thar in that pile uv shucks an haul out the jug
 "Bill rattled the shucks and brought out the jug.
 "'Pull,' said the Hard Shell, hand ing me the jug.
 "l pulled,
 "fPull agin.'
 "l pulled again, and then said MT. Harl Shell, reckon you are right
 "lt beat any Ticker l ever tasted, and I have sense feund out that if you want to get the best, go among the Hard Shells. There is no fighting among them; no quarreling nothing but brown jeans pants, brotherly love, hickory shirts, and Ticker that'll wreathe the sourest face with smiles. Yes, after all these years, years of con test and struggle, had found the coat that fits me and have been wearing 1t ever since, and nobody can say that hayn ever been drnnk since my reformation. do not write this with proselyting pen--for we seek not to make hoard of converts--but to give good reasons why l am Hard Shell" 1"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-02-04
SUPERIOR TO MAN.

On railway train. Man (to woman with whom he has become well enough acquainted to cOnverse)-"You are en- thusiastie concerning woman"
 Woman--"Yes, for I understand her nobility of nature and know that she has been nisrepresented by nearly ali writers, ancient and modern.n
 Man--"You think, then, that wo- man is superior to man."
 "Yes, In every respect. Her friend- ships are truer, her nature Less selfish. !"
 "How about her intellectually"
 "Still superior to man."
 But woman has never written . great histOrys
 "True, but she has written great stories.'
 "WeIi, she may have done that, but she can't write poetry"
 "Wh=.w exclaimed .he =S..:ss:: =S..:ss::, springing to her feet "I will not talk to you. Let me pas"
 Woman, highly indignant, harries away. Man (addressing conductOr)- "Who is that lady?"
 Conductor -- "Elia Wheeler Wn- cox"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-02-04
KEPT HIS PROMISE.

The room was lighted by moon- beams. A woman lay on bed. A man knelt upon the floor.
 Lot mo light tho lamp,' he said.
 "No," she replied, "lct thcrc bs no light but that which comes from heaven, fur, in that light, you must make mo a promise. You know that am dying"
 No, Grace, for Gods akc don't say that. You know that you arc not dying. Lot me light tho lamp"
 "Pleasc don't" she said, touching him with her hand. "i don't want the glare of lamp, for It would seem to drive away the holy light that Ia now falling upon us. Maurice, you munt make mo promise. You know that I have been faithful, uncom- plaIning wife"
 "Yes, know"
 "Then, will you not make mo A promiscp"
 "i can make you any promise but one, and that one know you would ask"
 "Yes, and IL is that you will never drink again"
 "l cannot make it Grace. 1 could not keep it. am weak ruined and cannot control myself. l will make any other promise and swear to keep It."
 She placed her hand on his head. "Promlse mo, then, that you will never take another drink except while sitting by my grave"
 "Oh, Grace, what \ horrible re- quest"
 "Yon said that you would promise anything else"
 "ies, but this iA so unreaso nable, so awful"
 She put her arm around his neck. "Make me the promise" she pleaded.
 "I will" nc said
 A nervous man walked about the streets. The cold wind howle and snowstorm was raging, but he needed not the cold. He went Into saloon, stood A moment and then went again into the street. He walked for hours. The storm ceased, the clouds passed away. He saw the mOonbcains falling on a snowdrif, and shuddering, he went into saloon.
 Give me quart of whisky" he said. He went to tho cemetery, and finding n grave apart from the others, sat down beside lt Then he took the bottle from his pocket.
 "str~nge place for a man to come and freeze to desth," said An old ssx- ton, when morning had come.
 The sunlight fell upon the grave.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-02-04
WHY AM A HARpsHELL BAPTIST.
BY COLONEL GEORGE sABBERLY.


 "It has become necessary in these, the mighty days of we'll iniquity, for each defender of the faith to get up and, like game rooster, crow for his own peculiar faith. I am now growing for the Hard Shell church. and if don't give good reasons why that faith should be held in high fla vor, I'll fling down my pen, leap over the fence and forever retire from the field of contestive literature. Now, in order to make all my reasons cl'ar, and to show, step by step, the relig ious trials through which I have passed, l beg leave to begin somewhat near the beginning. My father was a Methodist of such strong faith that he swore he could out-rassle and out box, {, out-lift or out-run, out-jump or out shoot any man of any other denomina- tion in the community. believed him. Yes, such was the depth of my young faith that didn't think it would be of any use for men of for eign denominations to lock horns with him. But my faith was shaken. A Cumberland Presbyterian came along one day and got into discussion with the old gentleman. From average earnestness the discussion got to be animated, and saw that Cumberland Presbyterian wallop my daddy against our new-gro1nd saw him punch my daddy in most high handed manner in fact, saw that Cumberland Pres byterian give my daddy one of the worst thrashings ever saw a man get. Said I, Daddy, I'll join the Cumber- land Presbyterians, if you please. Well, I joined that church and grew strong in the faith, remaining in the fold until I was about twenty years old, but one day an old school Presby- terian came to our house, called me out into the clearing and whaled me until could scarcely crawl back into the house. Look here,' said l, addressing myself-for daddy was long since gone -T believe in strong church gov ernment, and must needs join them old school Prcsbyterians.' I joined them, and was comparatively happy, till got into little difficulty with a Missionary Baptist. He punched me in way that was entirely new, in- troduced to me an art that saw would become power in the neigh borhood, and cast my lot with his church.
 "After this a change came over our neighborhood. Railroads came in and our people began to light the lamps of higher intelligence. They saw by the new lights that the shadows that lurked in the waxering light of the burning brnsh- heap were false, and that true religion did not consist of victory in personal combat. I did not know which way to turn. I knew that there was . true church but did not know the road that led to it. I poked around in the woods of per- plexity, and followed many strange paths, but they either led me into the swamp of ignorance or on to the bleak hill- top of doubt.
 AOne cold and rainy day while re- turning home from a new mill that had been started about fifteen miles from my house, I stopped at an old cabin to get warm. An old man and ] . boy At by the fire.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-02-04

In a newspaper office. Man comes in and says something. Everybody but a new reporter laughs loudly. Man gees out. New Reporter (to old reporter)-"Who is that chump thst tries to be % witty?"
 Old Reporter - "Why, he's the owner of the paper"
 Man comes backs and makes . re- mark. New reporter laughs uprosri- ously.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-02-04

A large large caee=e 1=>-s:..==-- .s g.. Louis has thrown away six hundred pounds Of Limburger, because 1t was spoiled. We do not know by what means he made the discovery that the cheese was spoiled, but suppose he took his cue from the fact that the flies refused to settle on 1t.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-02-04

"Papa, why do they always call . railway train 'shes'"
 "Becsuse ft takes tbres or four men to manage hsr, my son,S rsplisd Nr. Dawdle, giariAg toward his wifa.--
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-02-04

President Cleveland has, of late, been % persistent in taking exercise that his carriage horses show . health ful decrease in desh.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-02-04

A Canadian paper nys thst stu dent at veterinary college died st 1ss William Street Wet of dysentsry. They have peculiar names for strests and localities in Canada.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-02-04

It's better fur de Jority O men ter stay in de place whar da b'long. De dewberry vine doan grow so long alter it's lifted erbove de groun'.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-02-04
ROWED HIM OVER.
Old Williby Sawyer operated a ferr

Olu W lIllDy CaW ycF OpeTateu IerTy on Bayou de Lane. He was a pecu- liar old fellow, and in his disposition there were many angles and odd cor ners. In his younger days, when peo- pie were more sociable, he had gone from one "muster" to another, seek ing physical contests, and had, during many years, been held in great esteem on account of his ability to knock the breath out of friend or slam new acquaintance against the face of the earth. But times changed. The war swept away the sportive ardor of things, and old Williby, shorn of his honored crest, descended to the con- monplace position of ferryman.
 One day recently horseback rider drew rein at Williby's ferry, and asked the old man to row him over. "It is but just to you to add," said the traveller, "that I haven't cent to pay you for your trouble"
 "Wall, then," Williby replied, Git is but jest fur me ter add that won't take no trouble"
 Do you mean that you will not row me over?"
 "That's whut mean. I uster live fur fun, mister, but the Yankees that fit us have compelled us to live fur bizness. Gimme ten cents, an you go over eff not, youdon't."
 "Is it possible that in this land of hospitality man is kept on one side of a bayou on account of ten cents?" "An' is it possible that in this land uv hospitality a man has ter work fur nothin'?"
 "My friend, I had money, but lost it."
 "My frien', I never had none, but want it."
 "I don't know what to do."
 "Hafter go back, reckon"
 "It's hard lot"
 "Yas, but the lot will be safter when the spring rains set in."
 "Look here, old man, you are not only penurious, but strike me as being a fool"
 "Wall, eff ever hit you tall you won't think you have been struck by a fool; ken tell you that"
 After few moments silence, the traveller asked: "Why can't a man ride around this internal bayou?" w "He ken. Thar. ain't no law ter prevent it."
 "How far is it the nearest way?" s "Bout hundred am fifty miles,"
 "Is it possible2"
 "Ef you don't b'peve it, ride"
 "Is there not something can do for you to pay my passage?"
 "No."
 "Can't chop some wood2"
 "No; wife hacked up enough this mawnin'."
 "Well, lend me the boat"
 "You wouldn't be flowed ter run it till you pay your license" "No one will know anything about it."
 "I will, and Pm a constable"
 "This is all nonsense"
 "Yas, but it ain't ten cents, an that's whut Pm airter."
 "Look here, old man, I am a great mind to jump on you and beat you" !" "Jump."
 "Oh, can do it."
 Mighty oncertain."
 '.I am half mind to try it."
 "Put on the other half. By the way, yore talk brings up the sweet rickollections uv chil'hood. I uster frolic a right smart befo' these evil days come roun',-way back wander when the bees hummed CT camp-meet- in tune am the yaller- hammer sung fur the wood becker ter come up ter the mourner's bench You put me in mind uv them glorious times" the old fellow added with emotion, "an' now eff you'll take pity on po' broke down man that has stood on the banks uv the river of joy am clapped his hands ez the sun rig, I'll row you ovcr."
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-02-04
PLANTATION PHILOSOPHY.

It may take CT smart man ter be CT raskil, yit arter all, wid0ut good sense dar ain't no honesty.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-02-04

Leap year--man poses and woman proposes.- Washington Csitic.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-02-04

Some O dc doctors dat won't git outen de ole rut minds me O CT rabbit dat'll take de back track, 1t pear like, eben wen he knows he gwinter git cotched.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-02-04

Oar nebber will come CT time wen CT brave man won't be 'spected. Folks allus will think dat de meat O de game chicken is sweeter den de meat O de shanghai.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-02-04

We sometimes finds fault wid pus- sons cage da's changeable, an say dat da ain't de right sorter folks, but we may be wrong. De green brier neber changes, winter Dur summer, but 'stesd c barin' fruit 1t Is allus ready ter tar yo' cloze.
Evening journal., 1888-12-07
AMERICAN ASSOCIATION.

Salaries OF Umpires Cut--The Graded Sal
AIRY Question Referred.
ST. LOUIS, Dec. THE American Associ-
alton ended its session last night, and was
dined at the Lindell by President Won der
Abe. The banquet was the social feature of
the assembly. There will be a big cut In the
umpires' salaries, and $1,000 instead Of slO.-
600 is what the staff Of nine win get Kansas
City, Columbus and Baltimore were APP
pointed committee TO sign the umpires.
The rule compelling two players of rival
teams to act as umpires during the absence
of the regular official was rescinded. The
percentage plan was adopted and the guar
antee reduced TO 500 a game Visiting
clubs will receive 20 per cent, and no reduc-
ton will be made from the rule even on holi-
days The Reach baseball contract was re-
newed and the old schedule OF 140 games
adopted The season will begin April IL and
close Oct II.
All the afternoon the graded salary ques
tion was discussed, and the matter was re-
ferred to Messrs. Stern, Bryne and Kraut-
holf, who will report at tho spring meeting,
which viii be held IN Columbus on March u
The annual meetings Of the Association will
all be held in New York hereafter-on tho
first Wednesday after the second Tuesday in
November
Evening journal., 1888-12-07

1t Is Proven by the Arrest of
the Robbers.
INSPECTOR BYRNEs' GREATwORK

The Male Confederates of AddIe Stanton
Neatly Arrested--A Bold Robbery Plot
gnfolded-It Was Defeated by Days
Brave Resistance.
NEW YoRK, Dec. THE great Phil DAILY
mystery, which has kept New York in a
high state Of perplexity and expectation since
Monday, has been entirely cleared up through
the energy and capability Of New Nork's
famous detective chief, Inspector Byrnes.
The two men who did the shooting are be-
hind the strong bars which guard the cells at
police headquarters. They were placed there
last night after practically confessing 70 the
crime which almost cost Phil DAILY his life
The latter gentleman, by the capture Of
the criminals, is placed under manifold ohH-
cations 10 Inspector Byrnes chief of which
Is that it proves his story Of the occurrences
in the fiat on Fourth avenue 10 be true to
the letter.
When Inspector Byrnes learned Monday
night Of the unprecedented attempt at muir
der and robbery in the fat Of Addio Stanton
on Fourth avenue, IN which two mysterious
masked men, two women Of more than ques-
tionable regulations, and Phil DAILY were the
chief characters, he dispatched two detect
ives, Hickey and Crowley, to work up the
case.
In the meanwhile the inspector was not
idle himself He had separate interviews
with each of the women connected ia the
case. but what construction he nut on the
Evening journal., 1888-12-07

"The two men and women played cards all
the morning in the rear room until noon.
when DAILY entered the parlor he was re-
ceived by the Stanton woman, who seated
him SO that his back was toward the folding
doors
"She then went into the rear room and
told her confederates that all was ready.
The Hammond woman then went down
stairs
THE two men, closely followed by Addie
Stanton, crept stealthily toward the folding
doors. Meredith was slightly In advance,
holding a self cooking revolver in his hand.
DAILY heard the noise OF the approaching step
aIrd turned. hastily in his chair
He made jump for Meredith the instant
he caught sight of the trio Meredith, in a
mt OF nervousness ot the business in hand,
unintentionaly pressed the trigger Of the
revolver, causing the weapon 70 60 of.
As soon as she saw the blood on Daly's
face Addie Stanton said: My God, he's
killed. The three then ran out into the
street,
The inspector would not say anything con-
corning the past history Of either Messdith or
Herman He says that he will prove his
statement, If necessary, when the case comes
up for trial in the jefferson Market court
He said that Addie Stanton robbed man
some time ago in n style somewhat similar to
that attempted on DAILY
A reporter called upon Mr. DAILY at his
apartments in the Strathmore last night and
found him delighted at Inspector Byrnes'
skill in catching his assailants
What do you think Of the story that they
intended to drug and rob your he was
asked.
"Well,' said the veteran sporting man,
'that story that they intended TO tie me up
until | signed a check for s250OO seems
queer. Such a thing might occur in Italy,
but it couldn't in New York. What would
have donel Why, ia have doubled it on
them and played for jack pot Of $4,000"
80 you don't think they could have
frightened the money out Of your asked the
reporter.
We'll, hardly replied DAILY; they would
have found thnt they hadn't baby 10 deal
with. I'd have played the limit with them,
you may rest assured. Yes, It was pure luck
that got off as well as did II hadn't put
my glasses on to look at the picture / would
have been blinded by the powder, they were
50 close. I'm glad that Byrnes got them, as
il proves ] told the truth from the start -
Evening journal., 1888-12-07

Brazilian Balm cures colds; 10 to &c.
Evening journal., 1888-12-07
CHRISTMAS MARKET
INSTITUTE HALL,
DECEMBER 6, z and 8.
PROGRAMME OF MUSIC.
Thursday Evening.


Kings Hussars. ......................L Leonard
Friday Evening.
"Song Of the Triton
Male Chorus. My Bonnie"
"Oh, Hush Thee, My Baby"
Male Chorus. where Would Bef"
,fo1a f,bor,s la) "Forsaken"
'nale 0norus' 90 "Thou Art Ny own
G 1.-THE Crusaders"
rig .a-Jig."
Good Night"
Saturday Evening.
"song of the Triton"
"Alusic in the Air"
Hush Thee My Baby
4 Male Chorus. 1.-THE Chapel"
Male Chorus. The Soldiers Farewell"
Chorus. "Rig-a-Jig."
"swanee River"
Calm BE Thy Slumbers."
Music begins at O'Clock.
Doors open all day.
supper after p. m.
ADMlSSlON...-....-.... .........20 CENTS
SEASON TICKETS. 80 CENTS
CHILDREN ..-........-... ...........l 10 CENTS
Music by Chorus from the Tuesday Club.
John f. Craig, leader.
Evening journal., 1888-12-07

Etchings and Engravings at Yerger'.
Art Gallery, 4l9 Sbioley street
Evening journal., 1888-12-07

Ask your grocer for Toppin's Cham
pion Mince Meat. Telephone sos
Evening journal., 1888-12-07

solicitor to draw an act fixing the salary
of Councilman.
A petition from Edward Savery for
overpaid taxes was referred to the Fl
nance Committee.
Bills were passed as follows: Patrick
Carberry, $l23'50; William Dollard, $50:
J. V. Carlisle, & Co., 70 cents; A. G.
Roberts $3.50.
Evening journal., 1888-12-07
REAL ESTATE.

FOR SALE OR RENT.
TOR SALE OR RENT.-FOUR SIX
II roomed houses, on Third street between
Harrison and Franklin; bath and all modern
improvements. DANIEL MCKINNEY, n.
X. corner Third and Monroe.
TOR SALE OR RENT.-THE RESIDENCE
~ and grounds. No. 1893 Delaware avenue
The property fronts l5i feet on Delaware ave-
nue. - feet on Gilpin avenue and $50 feet on
Rodney street. Back OF the mansion is a
with a variety az laTre shade frees ana S sbrnb-
berry. The house and grounds are in thorough
repair. This property is only offered for sale or
rent on account Of the owner removing from
the city. Terms win be made very easy. For
further particulars inquire of
DEHANEN & TOWNSEND,
No. 42S Chestnut street lDrexel BuildingD
Philadelphia, Pa,
or TO GEORGE r. TOWNSEND.
No. 81 Market street.
Wilmington. Del
Evening journal., 1888-12-07
Rsealar wheel club sIeetlng.

The Wilmington Wheel Club held its
regular meeting last night The resig-
nation Of Z. d. r. Sutton as president
was accepted and Charles Phillips was
elected for the remainder of the term
Charles S. Wilson was chosen vice presi-
dent. The judges on the Thanksgiving
Day meet have not yet come to a
decision on the one mile novice race which
was won by Victor r. Pyle. under T. F.
Jefieris's protest The meet was a sue
Cas- financially
Evening journal., 1888-12-07
A Wide Difference.

Bobby-Pa, what's the difference be-
tween campaign fund and corruption
fund.-
Father-There's mighty big differ
ence A campaign fund Is what our party
spends and corruption fund is what the
other party uses. -Binghamton Republi-
can.