Morning journal and courier., 1888-09-15
WAIFS.

A boy that ia lost is 8 waif from his home. New Orleans Picsyune.
 Whats the matter with Mayor Hewitt? Oh, he's all writei- Yonkers Statesman.
 A wood cutter is the most chipper indir yidual going. Chronicle Tele~ graph.
 There should be new set of command ments. All of the old ones have been brok- en.-New Orleans Picayune.
 4 Harlem man, Mumm by name, has ehristened his twins Minnie and Maximilian. As an example of minimum and maximum this cannot be beaten.-Boston Post.
 sunday-school teacher-'tNow tell me what is dutyl" Little West-Ender Gust back from Europe)-'4t's something you don't pay un- less you have to.-Philadelphia Record.
 Fhe small boy may not have 8 general knowledge of Shakespeare, but if he has a mother he can give you definition of "the sippered pantaloon. ."-Boston Commercial Bulletin.
 A little wine for the stomach's sake is probably all right, but 8 man who can hold thirty pound dumb bell on his breath the year round is not person to be trusted.- Oil City Blizzard.
 Old gentleman (watching little boy fsh- ing)-"Do you go to Sunday school, little boyl" Little boY-"Yes, sir" Old gentle- man-"Then of course you don't swear?' Little boy-"No, sir; not when I'm fshin'. I wuddent ketch nothin'.-New York Sun.
 He Ia new arrival at country hotel to un- known lady)-"Aw-have you been long captive in this-er-mensgerie p She "You can hardly call me captive perhaps keeper would be better, for I am the wife of the snowman and have to help feed the ani- malls. s."-Harper's Bazar. Keeping It & Dark Secret.-'Clarence, dear !" said the girl anxiously, "what in the world do you suppose papa wouldn't say if he knew that you drank beeri You know how very strict he is." "But he doesn't know it, darling" responded Clarence reassuringly; "we had drink together to-day and we both took whiskey. ."-Life.
 The query "What makes baby cry soi" which Is discussed by Dr. Patton in the Sep tember Babyheod, recalls the question once asked by the late John G. Holland, '-What does baby think2' to which some ribald made reply that the baby thought what the Gover- nor of North Carolina said to the Governor of South Carolina: "It's 8 long time between | drinks. ."-American
 "Yes,n remarked Fogg upon entering his I favorite restaurant after his return from his | vacation; 'tyes, it's just the same as ever. How pleasant and how homslikel The same l bill of fare, which like the law of the Medes and Persians, altereth not; the same diversi- fed smells the selfsame food spots on the table linen, and, if mistake not, the verit- able napkin, in all it's pristine uneleanliness, which has so often been set before me! How { pleasant to find that in this world of change ! there is one spot on earth that remains ever the same. unchanged and unchsngeable. ."- Boston Transcript.
 'Tis said in sunny eastern lands afar,
 When night usdrps the reign of golden day, And OCT the hilltop gIows the evening star,
 The svery-noted bul-bul tunes his lay, And dark-eyed houris listen with delight While sings the minstrel of the orient night. But in our changeful occidental cline. When the hot summer day has closed it's eye, The blue-eyed maiden would not give a dime To hear the bul-buls tender melody. The ice cream peddler's bell she'd rather hear That music ravishes the maidens ear. Boston Courier.