Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1888-05-26
POINTS OF HuMoR.

Dude; Miss. will you allow me to
accompany yous" Indignant female,
''Sir. do Won think for moment
Dude; '.Me Think Good gwao Gus. do
look as II could thinkP"-Aocsing
Bird.
He: Eyes. Miss Ida. l am welded
to NV profession. She (with a far
away expression aud a sigh: ''How
envy your profession. Then they
both blush and change the subject -
fsc's SHn.
Polite clerk: ''Would you like to
see some nice ladies' wearP" Old lady
from the country: Like to see
some nice ladies swear! No. nor hear
'em. either. Nice ladies never swear.
sir. It's very unnice. "-1s1as Syt.
inqs.
Hedges has dined we'll aud has offer.
ed his waiter 81. Waiter. in voice
that reaches the desk: mo. sab; we
mt lowed fer ter tex no fees, ah. ="
In voice which does not reach the
desk: 'Drap him on the flo. boss. -
lid Fits.
Patrick Brady boasts that he has
worked in a powdsr-mill over thirty
ears. and has never been killed once.
I'm ess Patr.ck's reputation for We
racitY is in IA critical condition his
statement is likely 30 DO credited. -
NorriStoWn Herald.
This is very strange" remarked
Billy Bliven. thoughtful after he had
tasted the contents OF his b ter dish |;
very strange indeed" What is
stralge?' That such delicat,, pale
bu ter shoul turn out to be so robust"
- lerchant IrHVeier.
Did your SON take the valedictory
in cOllege?" said gentleman to lady
who was enthusiastically praising the
ability of her offspring. mo, indeed.
he didn't" she replied with pride. He
didn't take anything. He is the health
lest boy you ever saw. - WashingtOs
ratio.
L tile Pinkie wanted to go out to
play. Her ma said she thought it was
too cold, but she might go out and see.
When she got out in the air the cold
made her eyes water. upon which she
returned and said: al dess it is too
cold. 1t makes my eyes sweat" BOs.
ton Courier.
Dumley (who has been asked to carve
the duck and is meeting with pour sue.
cesS): 'Whewt' Landlady: 'Isn't tue
knife sharp Mr.. Dumley7 | had il
ground to-day" Dumle,: The KIN 70
is all ght. Mr.. Hendricks; YOU ought
to have had the duck ground "-Har-
per'S dzIr.
Mss Greatbrain (of Boston,: $50
Brother George has got married."
Omaha man: Yes; il was an elOpe-
ment; that is why the fam Il were not
not tied. ''ls his wife woman Of in.
telleetP" mo, indeed; pretty as
picture and as sweet as peach. -
ON ,hG World
LIE Comte CASTOR d. 0rgue de Barbara
(appealing): Madame la confessed
How grand eet sound. ees eel not?"
Miss Smith: Really, monsieur 10
comte, | prefer to remain plain Miss
SIN tn. Le Comte CASTOR, etc:
Plain Mees Smeet! mile fois non!
Zay razzer re beauteeful Mees SmeeL!"
She succumbs. ~ lid TITS.
81 am toll that: o bought Quinn y
$4,000 violin. Is it SOP" Yes"
What was your idea in doing that?
You can't play know | can't"
"rhen why did you buy ltP" well,
you know. Qnimby lives next door 10
me. What has that to do W til it?"
~ bought the violin so that lao could
pl Y no more. Lincoln JouraR
A Proyenoal who was making
love to beautiful woman, find
Ing her ind fferent to his addres, es,
said to her menacingly: III you re-
fuse to love ms shall tell all. / know
what crime YOU have cOmmittedr'
'What do you mean" exclaimed the
astOnished woman. I'll know that YOU
have assassinated gqznlle IN order
to steal It's O. es!"-PdFis G,tH Ois.
Mrs. Penn: William. read an
advert sement in one of the pup RS
stating that for 81 in stamps the adyer-
tiser would send by return mail sure
way 10 get 81 OF rats n the house."
Mr.. Penn: ''W"ll? Mrs. Penn: Il
sent 81 in STAN -, w liam. and re-
csived AN answer" MIR. PEN: "What
WAS iL?" Mrs. Penn: civilian. fhs
cheat told me 10 move. Phiindslphi
Gull.
Rustic Individual: Did you find The
fishing good. IN ster? De Trouty
Opening baskeD: 'ren speckled
beauties" Rustic: Gosh! ant thew
stunners? l reckon they're worth
about IS a piece" DE Trout (mOd-
estl,): Hardly as much as that,
guess. Rustic: "Well. as it hap
pens as how the season doesn open in
this ere state until lhu LIST Of May. aud
rs I'm constable of tn 8 ere town.
that's just what they cost. 7oWn
10 ,cs.