davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
He Came Out. .

A woman on Lafayette street East rushed
out the other day and informed a policeman
that she mad seen big dog crawl under her
barn, and she believed the animal mad. The
officer went around by way Of the alley, &C.
companied by the usual crowd, and after
peelling and peering for some time he shot
three bullets under the barn to scare the dog
out After the third shot a movement was
heard, and presently the long end of a col
ored man crawled into view. After backing
out and brushing the dirt out OF his eyes, he
added:
WAS it me you was shooting at7"
81 supposed it was dog under there" re-
piled the officer.
"Well, sab, doan' you nebber 'spose no
mol It's dangerous"
And he showed bullet hole in his cap and
another in his coat as proofs Of the accuracy
of the officers aim. He had crawled under
after a rabbit which had escaped from q
neighbor.
''It's all right" be said as the officer apollo
gized, ''but doan' you 'spose no mo-! You
jist keep right down to cole facts. Dis 'spos'-
IN around ar what gifts pussons into serus
truble. Detroit Free Press.
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10

Grace Hawthorne, who was formerly,
in q small way. known 70 the dramatic
newspapers as Grace Cortland, was play
ing Camille enc night 81 Aurora, His
The property man Of the company had
formerly lived In that town, and while the
last act was on he stood il the wings
talking over old times with some Of the
resident stage hands. So engrossed did
he become that he forgot whsre be was.
The doctor Of the play entered, took
Camille by the hand aud spoke bis line,
s4Ah, Camille, you are very III" The
diving womsn was about 10 make answer
;the house being hushed Is Death whea
the property nan was distinctly heard 70
exclsin3-
s.Yah' Wat yer gsvin' nef''
The result OF that awkward break
was simply ruin 50 far a. the perform
srra was concerned, and Camille was
obliged 10 postpone her death Until lie
next nizhi,-Deiro.t Free Press.
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
THE ROMANCE or LIFE.

Another Chfnaman--Wah Leo this tins
has won q cultivated wife In New Haven, I'm
the person OF Miss Ida Spaulding, Sunday
school teacher.
The boss eloper Of tbe season Is that Louis
vile drummer who ran OF with three girls
between 10 and Is years, at one and The sarne
time, from JoDesboro. Tenn
William Spencer entered into bis fourth
matrimonial venture recently st the age &C
Is, while lis bride, aged "A, is indulging In
her sixth Both are IN robust health They
live q. SheIbyville, Ind
There are queer people IN this world A
Young woman IN Mahanoy City refused %
marry her lover, but when he had proved his
devotion By blowing upher house with eyna-
mite she wanted 10 marry him 70 koep him
out of jail
4 notable webbing occurred O. uvsrmor..
KY, recently. g. A Algood, Who Is orIy
four feet in height, was married 70 xis
Minnie Dewitt, Of Livia, Ky. who f. sevuaI
inches shorter u stature EE. Alsood In one
Of the substantial rnes Of the county and the
bride IL said % b beautiful and ACCOM-
plisbed-
Ons O. the co,ored applicants for . mar
riags license wss unfortunate enough 20 for
gss fhe ns-ne Of the girl tia: be vas going 70
ranry, ecd be had 70 tramp back Hx miles
Ito the co11try 20 Ind OCT what ss ~<a
Upoa being q2es.lored a. TO hos he caIhd
he-, Is answered '-Gaiise,' and be eoridsf
tel a1y zcre -Dass I'll now.' b sssd
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
FACTS WORTH KNOWING.

Use lemon juice and salt to remove iruu
rust.
When hinge creaks put little graphite
or soft lead pencil on the place of friction
A solution of pearlash in water. thrown
upon fire. VIII e1tinguisA it Immediately
Apple sauce is much improved BY the adj
diton of tablespoonful CT butter and re-
quires less sugar.
To preserve the elasticity Of India rubber,
wash it five or six times year with slightly
alkaline water.
Corks NAV be made AIR and water tight by
keeping them for FIVE minutes under melted
parafine; they must be kept down with a
wire screen
The best way when hot grease has been
spilled on floor is to dash cold water over
it, SO as TO harden it quickly and proven. it
striking into the boardx
In mixing mustard for table use never add
vinegar, which destroys its life and flavor
Boil water for moisfening it, and let the
water become blood warm
For cleaning brass use thin paste Of plate
powder, two tablespoonfuls Of vinegar. four
tablespoonfuls Of alcohol Eub with piece
OF flannel polish with channels.
A good disinfectant made By disolviny
half dram Of nitrate Of lead in q pint Of
boiling water. then dissolve two drains OF
common salt in eight OF ten quarts of water
A good handful Of rock salt added to the
bath is the next best thing after an ocean
Dip" and gaygle Of weak solution is q
good and ever ready remedy for Q sore
throat
Cracks in stoves and stovep,pes are readily
closed by paste made Of ashes and salt with
water. Iron turrings or filings, sci ammo
MAC and water make harder and more dur
able cement.
In nervous prostration, rest and sleep arc
the first Indispensable conditions A change
is always in order TO make them possible.
The diet must be generous, the food well
Inasticated and eaten slowly.
To take rust out of steel rub the steel with
sweet oil; in day or two rub with finely
powdered unslacked lime until the rust all
disappears, then oil again. roll in wooden and
put in a dry place, especially if it be table
cutlery.
In a severe sprain of the ankle iu,merse the
joint as soon as possible in a pail of hot water,
and keep it there for fifteen or twenty
minutes. After removing it keep it bandaged
with hot cloths wrung cut OF water, or rum
and water.
One Of the cheapest and best modes Of de-
stroying insects in pot plants is TO invert the
pot and dip the plants for few seconds in
water warmed TO $50 degs- A German paper,
referring 10 this plan, says that the azalea
will stand lSS dogs. without injury We
usually heat the water pretty well, aud pour
in cool until $50 dogs. is reached
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
Proper Way to Drink Milk.

"What did you drink" asked the
doctor
Nothing that could have made ne
sick, l am sure" replied the patient.
''Only glass of milk.
.'Did you drink it auicklv?"
mo quicker than usual.
Il thought so. Now let me give you
word of advice. Many persons COM
plain that they cannot drink milk with
out being distressed by it The most
common reason why milk is not well
borne is due to the fact that people gen.
orally drink it too quickly. If glass of
it is swallowed hastily If enters the stom-
ach and then forms in one solid. curdled
mass, difficult of digestion. If, on the
other hand, the same quantity IS slipped,
and three minutes. at least, Is occu-
pied in drinking it, then, on reach
ing the stomach, it Is so divided
that when coagulated. as il must always
be by the gastric juice while digestion Is
going on. instead of being in one hard.
condensed mass. upon the outside Of
which only the digestive fluids can act.
it is mere in the form OF a sponge, and
in and out OF the entire bulk the gastric
juice can freely plsy and perform is
function Milk NAV be rendered more
digestible, and, for many, Of more
agreeable taste, if prepared by slowly
adding a few drops Of dilute hydro
chloric acid TO it. drop By drop, while
stirring it at the same time. By this
means the curd IS broken up, and II is in
a more favorable state to be acted upon
by the digestive fluids. You follow my
advice and you viii have no more attacks
of sickness such as the one YOU are
troubled with today. Two dollars, please.
Good day."-New York Mail and tx.
preSS
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10

The Baekwoodsman Takes Q Bath.
'sSay, boss, gimme swim, and give it to
me quick"
''Give You whatT
"Why, bath, swim. Do you under
stand THAR
The first speaker was q bad man from the
West Bottoms, and the other was Delaware
street barber
"Yes. sir. man could tell what you want
ed if you were deaf and dumb. Sam. turn
on the hose in tub s."
Soon the water could be heard rushing into
the zinc lined vessel. and directly afterward
the man from Kansas disappeared But
person on the outside with an ordinarily
acute ear could readily keep track Il every
move made by the desperate man First a
boot came of. and as the damp foot rubbed
against the leather kind Of whine was emit
ted. Over went the boot into corner, soon
followed by its mate The suspenders were
unbuttoned, and in the recon the good ole
ingin rubber galluses" nearly knocked tie
top of the bathers head of. At last came
the plunge. and the half snoehered howl that
came through the door apprised she folks In
the block that the water was bilin' hot
For the next half an hour the BARRIERS and
the patrons OF the shop were vastly amused
by the splashing and spluttering that came
from the interior. At last dull thud on the
floor, one that shook the building from
foundation TO roof, sounded out and a scram-
bic was made for the towel rack Compare
tive silence reigned for five minutes Then
a weak voice piped out:
''Say. boy. these here towlz are too burned
small; gimme nuther ermful"
The request was granted, and when Kansas
came out he wore a su,i,A on his face foot
long. He rubbed mis- chin complacently and
actually looked ashamed Of bis cleanliness.
Suddenly a blank look came orer his face
and he darted back into the bath room mutt
tering:
''S-a-a-y, what dye think o'rei burned
If didn't forget to wash my face, an l been
sousing around there fer an hour"
A few minutes later he emerged with his
face shining like new moon, paid his
quarter and walked out with the air of O man
who cou p easily keep down the suspicious Of
the board of health-fo six months.-Kansas
City Star.
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10

If the condensed breath collected on the
window pGnes Of room where nunoer
Of persons have been assembled be burned,
n smell IS Of singed hair viii show the
presence OF organic matter; and IL the
condensed breath be allowed 20 remain on
,he windows for few days, il viii Re
found. on examination by microscope.
that il is alive with aaillaicules. The IL
halation Of air containing such putrescsEt
matter causes untold complaints which
might be avoided br circulation az fresh
air -PhilaiaInhia Bulletin
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
The RhYIne of the Dnclet.

Two lovers lingering on a Stooplet,
Beneath the stars SO still and grand
In dreams he saw the wedding hooplet
OF gold upon her tiny hand
He slightly leaned upon his canelet,
A timid youth. and fTail to see,
And IN his heart he felt painiet
For love was young and SO was he,
They had partaken of creamlet,
As lovers will while they are twain,
And now were busy on the schemelet
OF where and how to meet again
Meanwhile, unto the lone back yartlle,
Her father sneaked: a chain let 90,
Alack, fond love, and, a!ack, bardlet
That must relate this tale of woel
The youth went bounding like a goatlet,
With yell and shrek he outward sped
The dog returned piece of coatlet
lung from bis mouth. Loves dream was dead
Madeline S. Bridges in Judge.
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
She Sized Elm Up.

The local newspaper of Seymour, Conn,
says that a citizen Of that place recently
drove out to Zoar bridge to see the ice heaps
still remaining. At the toll gate was young
woman with strong attractions for white
horse" as the editor puts it, and the citizen
Thought he might safely quiz her bit. She
answered all his questions demuTely and with
no apparent thought of malice; but when,
having had his little joke, be asked her what
It cost to go over the bridge, the answer
came back: If you could read that sign
you'd see for yourself. Hog, one cent;
iackass, two. Give US two cents!n-New
YORK Sun.
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10

with one of his eyes in deep mourning.
Yes, sorter."
'Fall out of treef'
mot exactly"
''Stick of wood fly up7"
Hardly A couple of days ago two chaps
came along in a buggy and wanted to sell me
100 feet of wire clothes line for seventy-five
cents. bought it and then they wanted me
to sign paper recommending its use. When
got ready to sign found it was a note for
500"
And thenT
"Didnt feel the ground tremble In town
that day, did youf"
II don't remember"
at was probably too fur I waded into
'em. They waded back. In the scrimmage
l got this"
"And they got off scot free, I SUPPOSED"
"Do youl Wen, there's town doctor rid
ing out to see 'em every day. and my naybur
has drawed up wills for EN- Mebbe an old
farmer with sledstake hain't of any account
in a spring riot, and mebbe people nine miles
away heard him whoop as .le went in fur
blood Want bag O. taters this morningf'
Detroit Free Press.
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
A Proposal.

BE walked into Woodward avenue shoe
store aid asked to see the proprietor imme-
diately.
"Well. sir7" queried the latter.
81 stole this pair of shoes here last night"
said the man in a virtuous tone
'Ahi You did, And you found you had
a conscience after all, in spite OF your many
efforts to kill it, SO you came to return them
and claim the usual reward for honesty"
"Oh, no." said the tramp. with surprised
air; 81 thought you would be kind enough to
exchange them. These are two and half
sizes too large The fraternity all know me
as Small Footed Jim. "-Detroit Free Press.
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
4 Wise Choice.

Lincoln Girl-Nellie, cannot imagine why
you should refuse to marry that rich and
agreeable young man, Ir. Bingby, and then
consent to become the wife OF person like
Quimby.
''Why can't your
"Mr. Bingby is polished and educated,
while Mr. Quimby, to say the least, is
THE finest first basenan l ever saw, and
that settles itw-Lincoln State Journal
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
A SLIGHT Variation.

About seven years ago George ". Mitchell,
Of Palatka, Fla, falling against cactus
plant, one Of its thorns entered the calf of his
leg Several weeks later the thorn was with
drawn from a swelling on his chin This
story is a welcome change from the old news
paper item about girl running needle into
her thumb which caused her no pain until
six years subsequently,, when it was removed
from the ankle OF her brother-in-law; but it
is about as hard on a mans creduiity.-Nor-
ristown Herald
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
Tho Eefreshment.

'Can't bring you an ice cream, cup
of chocolate or a little refreshment Of soma
kindp' asked Boston blue blooder of girl
from ST. Louis with whom he had been
waltzing.
Al don't know" she said with becoming
hesitation; you are real kind. and l am
awfully obliged; hate to trouble you"
"No trouble at all, really not the least"
"Well, then, you may bring me quarter
no more, please-of custard pie, and glass
of lemonade. if you'd be so kindn-Detroit
Free Press
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
Understood His BusinesS.

Grocer's Clerk-Mrs De Rich's order this
morning contains the word sugar, but does
not say how much
Grocer-What else does she order'
Nothing else except ten boxes of straw.
berries"
''Send up barrel Omaha World.
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10

In a bridge car the other day . aaan WA
reading s;epnisk's description o. tie
brutal desposisn ct the car government.
DID his biooH boil with i1dixaa.soz, AID
did he ae-orncs the outrage A-silss
human rights perpetrz.sd ~ - No, hs
vrxss,'; brill that way. he jszss turned q
his pesxht,o- and remarked. i; seems 20
yrr thai Tire form 81 rT~e-rraer. IN Russts
!. somewhat too ssrsef There IL .
iudiesous juagrnea; for yoz--Sew YORK
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
The T.Sptd Witness

Judge-The witness VIII raise her right
hand and be sworn.
Witness-Win your honor please do me
favori
Judge-What is !t, MADAME
Witness-Won't you let couple Of wit
nesses be sworn with mel I'm SO tiraid and
nervous that don't ike to be sworn alone.
Texas Siftings
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
Fashions In Mortgages.

Mortgages are signed by two witnesses, the
same as last year, and are folded SO as to fit
the side pocket. The back taxes are conlbed
forward, and parted on the side nearest tie
mortgage. In this climate mortgages gen.
orally mature In the winter season.-Duluth
Paragrapher
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
Medical Aid.

Neighbor-How is your husband today,
Mrs Jones2
Mrs. Jones-He is very Ill indeed
''W orse than he was2"
ooh, yes; the nurse says he is beyond the
reach Of doctors now"
'rm glad to hear it"
s'Whatp
''rm glad to hear it. Now, if you can
only keep him beyond their reach I think he
will get well rapidly Texas Siftings
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10

a great Macy people in PARIS rake ~
much - SO night - ''kaos makers or
.stye-z of erzT&fE" Daring fhs soc.zi
sez>o1 tie god .knos r-2keE'' tEnps TITO
tie cab ~ about s o'clock IN he evening
A-s j. vhisssd % bis customers, = so&s
erzTass be tsszs according O. iae pxeTallinx
rnc6e- Per t@o rzlnssesf wnyk ~ ~
ee.sez from fortT oeats 70 si.-Ss~ Yak
TyinuaA
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
Worked LIKE n Charm

Doctor who has been taking a dispensary
PATIENTS temperatureI-Now, my good wo-
man, bow do you feelF'
Patient teyeing the thermometer with con-
Siderable awe,-Much better, thank ye Sure
an that's wonderful thing thatu help q
body 50 ouickF-Judsa
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
a Poor Prosnect.

Buffalo Jirn-Hello, Tenderfoot, what afr
We a-doin' out herea
Tenderfoot-I am on undertaken, and wish
% find good point for starting business
B. Move on, then-this point won't do
We haven't a single doctor in the camp
Georgia Cracker.
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
4 Sure Thing for the Future.

81 see by a scientific paper that this
country is destined to furnish fuel for the
world before long"
"WhyP
1.-THE coal fields of the United States are
practically inexhaustihle, while those Of
other countries are almost worked out
Then have great deal Of sympathy for
the world 1t viii be bankrupt in a few
years Omaha World
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
Boss of the Shop.

Visitor-I should think that the proprietor
would have more consideration for the feel
ing Of his editors than to come in and tear
around like that.
Managing Editor-That wasn't the pro-
prietor That's the baseball reporter.
burg Chronicle
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
A Biblical Advertisers.

Fer the benefit Of those who abhor prirl-
tiers ink as the prime factor to the advance
lnent OF their interest, we will state that
Samson 1.-THE strong party was the first man
to advertise. lie took two solid columns to
demonstrate his strength, and several thou
sand people tumbled to his scheme. He
brought down the house.-Covington Qnd.)
Peoples Paper
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
Candid.

Boy-Want q boy, sirl
Hobson-What for9
Boy-Why, ter pay IS week to Saturday
night
Hobson-For doing WHAT
Boy-Why, fur waiting al the week for il
life
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
CIunc to Life.

Customer On restauran3-I say, waiter,
how about that broiled spring chicken' Tor
6ered il half an hour ago
Waiter-Yes sab; be here In minute
Dat spring chicken died very hard, sab
New York Sun
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
HcaYY Artillery.

Bagley-I see that ali the great guns they
are building nowadays are Tifled.
Gagley-Not all Some OF the great guns
of society that have talked to lately ars
nothing but smooth bores Life.
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
Retiring from Business.

Young Woman (blushing violentlyl-Are
you the gentleman who has charge of the adj
vertising department of the paper, sirf
Clerk-Yes, miss, what can l do for youi
Young Woman-I-er-want to advertise
IA second hand type writer for sale
shall have no further use for it'd Bits.
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
No Cause for COMPLAINT.

Editors Young Wife-Aly dear, you must
pardon me for coming down in wrapper
this morning.
Editor-Don't mention it, nay love. Some
of our most valued exchanges come to us in
wrappers -Burlington Free Press.
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
1t Might Be Done.

Mrs Peterby ITO new servanN-The last
,ervant had a habit Of going into the parlor
with her young man and sitting there the
whole evening. Have you young mani
New Servant-No, mum; but l might get
one with such inducements offered--Judga
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
ThR EySrSnnP

Mabel Ia stranger in town-Is Maude Hify
a girl who cares much for stylei
Manie-Stylei | should think so. WIZ
they say the affected thing eats her meals Of
fashion plate-New Haven News
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10

Johrry fvscss ts.5er b ~ sf2:ex1-Szy.
Mr. soorsks~psr. Do you kes9 sEsz<. esSsA
ia. calico ea6 thA7s.sf
E:nrskop~r -C~r-e.niy. ny boy
Jonnny-Ys. szsf "a ssys you vi ke~s
We, c.lzus yozs a6ver.lse-Tsd Essx
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
4 Climatic Improvement.

Montreal Lady to American fnancien-
Do you not find our Canadian climate rather
cold, Mr.. Boodlerl
American Financier-Oh, not at all: It
agrees with me left New York because it
was too warm for me there-Texas Siftincs
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
An Enphasizcd Truth.

"a man should always be allowed to pick
lis own friends" says a writer. This is
especially true when ones friends have been
tar-ed AID feathered Free
Press
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
A Natural suppos;tion.

Josh Geehaw-Say, mister, is there a cir
Gus here todayi
"No, what made you think soY'
Saint them clowns comm up the street"
"Thosef Why, they are students in lawn
tennis suits"-New Haven News
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
A German ,JoEe.

Daugnter-Mamna, the chimney sweep on
the roof the house has just kissed his hand TO
me. Mother-How shocking! Run ct once
TO the bedroom and wash yourself. Der
ErhaIE
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
Eraternal.

She-To, Mr.. Brown, you need not hope
] can never be more than a sister,
He-A sisterl Lend me five dollars.-De-
troit Free Press
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
Evidently q Loser.

WIFE, Which bail club beat today, joint
Husband (dejectedlyI-The other oDa-
Lie.
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10

A good rrany have b-en boil: upou, b,
there are -Gifl "a bu-Ttng grounds Ia
Lyn-on-
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10

He-Here, dear Beatrice, far, far from the
busy haunts Of men, where no eye can see
nor no voice reach us, let me assure you
ut was at this particular moment that q
well known exclamation reached their earsl
-Iife
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10
On the VVay to Colorado Springs.

Algernon Ghis first Western trip)-Aw, I
suppose you see a good many queer people
round here don't yous
Native-Waal, yes, stranger-when the
trains from tie east come in.-Life.
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10

Mrs Breezy, or Chicago 70 daughter.-Is
has occurred TO me OF late, dear, that George
is not quite 90 attentive and devoted 70 you
as be was when You first became engaged
Miss Breezy tnervoGslT7-Oh, HANNA,
you don't think he intends to crawfish, do
you3-The Epoch
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10

She-SorTy to miss YOU the other night
when you called, but was at a progressive
suchre party and won prize
He with much meaninG-Ah. but you
might have done the same at homel
She-True-buti nsFer play for the Booty.
-IIfa
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10

"Meet with an accidentT' asked police
man OF a farmer on the market yesterday
with one of his eyes in deep mourning.
Eyes, sorter"
Wichita eagle., 1888-06-10

Tho lighter tie g.s sas hssvssr tAs bis
pz-xyslls Sree-a
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1888-02-10
Ahead of the Old Man.

do you want to see neat gamel Then
watch the three girls sitting with their father
In the fifth pew of the middle aisle" said the
tenor of a fashionable uptown church the
other Sunday to a reporter who was paying
him visit in the choir loft during morning
service.
The reporter fixed his eyes on the men,
toned pew. The father seemed to be pros
porous banker or merchant, a portly, gray
whiskered red faced man, evidently some
what Of a martinez. As the deacon ap-
preached with the contribution box the
parent drew q fat wallet from his inside
pocket opened it and pompously handed each
Of his daughters banknote.
"Hc gives them tenner apiece whispered
the chorster.
Each girl as she received her bill crumpled
it carelessy in her right hand, and became
absorbed in the hymnal again. which was
held in both hands. When the silver salver
was handed into their pew the father dropped
his contribution in with placid air and
then passed the plate along to the daughters.
Each took her left hand from her book
dropped crumpled bill into the repository,
and the plate was handed back to tho wait
ing deacon.
IA clever idea" said the tenor, leach girl
drops a 81 bill on with her left and holds out
$40 with her right hand. 1t seems that young
misses have to resort to sharp devices al
times to raise money for matinee tickets and
bon bons, ehF'-New York Evening Sun