The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-29
BRIGHT BITS.

POSITIVE AND COMPARATIVE
A lover called upon miss,
And thought she looked bewitching,
He longed so much her lips to kiss
lie chased her round the kitchen;
But fell against the red hot stove
As soon as he had kissed her
And, though he thought the kiss was bliss
He found the burn blister
Texas SJtings.
WHAT have you got in the shape of oranges :"
"Only round ones, sir. Puck.
'HOw doth the little busy bee?'' Well, If YOU
NEEDLE with him much, you will be apt to find
out how he doth.-BOston Post.
SHE may not necessarily be brunette, but
the object of the woman who will paint and
powder is to keep her real complexion dark
Boston Transcript.
QUACK doctors do business on the supposition
that only one man in a dozen is sensible 1t
appears to us that this Is rather a large esti-
mate.-Ipochester Cypress.
Mrs. WALDO (of Boston)-Isn't Mr.. Wabash of
'hicago an original young man, Peneloper
/ Miss Penelope-H1i is more than that mamma:
he is aboriginal York sun
FIRST KENTUCKY wrFE-what kind of night
caps does your husband use, Mrs VivantY
Second kentucky Wife-Bourbon, trimmed
with real sugar. Mrs. Ransom.-Judge.
If THE human race was evolved from the
apes it at least has the satisfaction of knowing
that its ancestors were inteligent-they were
educated in the higher branches-Neso York
Tribune.
WHY" said the young wife of a physician,
who was given to boasting of her husband s pro
fessonal skill, be cured a patient of GONZALES
cence in less than twenty-four hours. y The
Telegram
mine so thin. He seems to get worse and worse
every day. Doctor, wonder if turned him
over TO you, could you do anything with him?
Extraordinarily; could dissect him.-Life.
A WEIL-FoUNDED REPoRT.-Miss Ethel Conf
dentially)-Do you know, Clara. that had two
offers of marriage last weeks
Miss Clara with enthusiasm)-Oh, am de-
lighted, dear Then the report is really true
that your uncle left you his money.-Life.
DuMPsEY-Hello, Blobsonl Seems as though
you we're looking pretty poorly
Blobson-YeS, I'm tired to death
Dumpsey-Tiredf You need vacation.
Blobson--Just got back from one.-BIrLtnq-
ton Free PreSe.
FULL REGULATION WEIGHT.-Wife (proudly)-
/ made. this pound-cake, myself, John; what
Husband (critically)-well, my dear, / think
it will run fully sixteen ounces to the pound
Hdrper's BdzGr,
INDIGNANT DUDE-I want you to understand,
sir, that I'm gentleman.
Other Fellow-All right. sir; as friend of the
family will do my best. but you are putting
my capacity for understanding to a fearful test
-AlkdnsdlC Traveller.
OLD LADY to street gamin)-Boy you are a
very dirty little fellow. Why don't you run
homo and ask your mother to wash your face
and handsY
Gamln-Me mudder amt got time, mum, to-
day It's wash day.-The Epoch.
MERRIMAN-Most remarkable thing ever
heard of You'll say so, too.
Graves-Indeed! What is it?
Northumberland of mine got married the
other day, and there wasn't single butter dish
amongthe wedding presents.-Ided.
BELLE has a bangle strung with little
ivory skulls, with rubes set in the 'eye-sockets
Whenever she jilts a sutton, it is said, she adds
a skull TO the bracelet. This is a rather neat
idea; also humane. The treatment doesn't
make her suitors squirm so much as if she
were to marry TRANSPORTATION Herald
''YoUNG MAN" he said solemniy, "n the silent
watches of the night when you are wakeful and
restless, do you not often feel in the depths of
your being that there is something wanting
something lacking?"
mot in the right SIR" replied the young
man; TN heavy sleeper myself, but do in
the morning, and it's lively hustling, sir, until
get cocktail. The Epoch.