Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1888-01-06
Why condemn the gambler ? Has Ia
not chosen better part? -Teras Sit.

| NA
| Why condemn the gambler? Has la
| not chosen better part ?-1'eras Sif.
i1ags.
ENGLISH walters assert that typical
American rarely gives tips. -Teros
SUtiags.
ISN'T it strange that rooster should
crow, and crow should hawk, and
hawk should fly, and fly should feeo
The single eye-glass is worn by the
dude. The theory is that he can see
more with one eye than he can compre.
bend.
"THE story of worm that eats stee'
rails is now declared to be hoax
This surprises us. We supposed it was
an internal lie.
DIR. ToRnEY, of Boston, marries +,
pair in eight seconds. There are many
young persons who would like to make
a minute of this.
PAT stole a watch Mike a COW, and
both were arrested. "What time is it?'
says Mike. Faith" answered Pat,
Just milking time"
HOST Ito visitor)-I don't know what's
the matter with our dog. He gets fu-
rious whenever any other dog comes
about. Look out, he'll Jump at you.-
4Arka,1saW Iraueler.
IT is the everyday duty of mug
wump to weep copiously because he
wasn't called in to settle the trouble in
Paradise by kicking the occupants out
and kicking himself in.-Judge.
WIFE Zone day after marriage)-No,
dear, don't give me any money; might
lose it. Same wife zone year after mar
riage)-I took $50 from your pocket
book last night John. -Ne,o York
Sun.
PROF. HOPKINS says the Prohibition
lists want to put their conscience in
their ballots. That might easily be
done, and without embarrassing the
election inspectors to the slightest de-
gree.-Judge.
LADY (to fond mamma)-Oh, the lit
tie boy will improve as he grows older.
Fond mamma-His papa gets so out OF
patience with him! He intends TO edu-
cate him, as he will be good for moth
ing else.-Judge.
Mrs. PoP1NJAY-Mr. Popinjay doyou
propose to put up that stove to-day, as
l requested you? Mr.. Popinjay-But,
my dear, you know Mrs. Popinjay
Mr.. Popinjay, either put up or shut
up!-Ba1rlington Free Press.
"WoMEN cannot be satirical," saws a
writer, "any more than they can be
humorous. So? How is it that when
man, after counting girl for seven
years, proposes, she says: ooh.
George, this is so sudden Boston
Courier.
WHEN you get very tired" said one
man to another, "do you ever lose COM
mand of words and ideas 2" NO." said
the other man, II can't say that I do:
but l have felt that way sometimes
when [ got home very late at night. y
SomerriNe Journal.
MRS. Hon JINKs very English)--
Bridget, see if the "broom" is at the
door. Bridget-An' what would ye be
wantin' wild the broom, mum? Mrs. H.
il am going out to ride. Bridget
isotto voice)--Och, murther! I'll be
after LAWN at once for service wild da-
cent family.-Derou Free Press.
Mr.. CRnrsoSBEAH-You play the
piano great deal; do you not? Miss
Observation-Disclosures, 1 play at home a
good deal, to drive dull care away. 81
guess you're successful; aren't you?"
Why" We'll, I understand you
drive everything else away. I don't
suppose dull care would want to stay
either. "-Ionhers Statesman.
RURAL PAEsoN-I was very glad to
see you at church last Sunday, Farmer
Acorn. Farmer Acorn-You preached
powerful sermon, parson, and it had
good effect on me. "Well, it was the
first OF series Of sermons on charity:
The Stranger Within Thy Gates"
Well, parson, I've been turning tramps
away for good while, but after heard
that sermon | made up my mind to do
a'1ferent, and that night when tramp
asked TOR place in the barn 1 gave
him bed in my house" "Ifeel greatly
encouraged, Farmer Acorn" "Well
4 don't. The next morning 1 discov-
cred that the stranger within my gates
had decamped with everything he could
lay Ills hands ON. '-OmaAa World.
Il PRNEIT II arnax