, 1888-05-03
LIES OF THE LINEMAN.
THE WEATHER CLERK NO LONce1
THE CHAMPION PREVARlCATOR.

the Touemsnts.
"The public are way Off when they think
that the weather clerk Is the champion
liar of the world" said keen eyed and
intelligent man with kit Of tools in his
hand who had just been chased from an
east side tenement by an angry woman
armed with broom and kettle Of hot
water. 81 am quite sure that 1 can outlle
the weather cock any day, and there are
several hundred men in the city who are
just as proficient.
"will you tell me where this remark.
able band of men Is to be foundy'
son the housetops."
ado they so there to liep'
"No, they lie TO go there" u
"What do they do when they get therey
ooh, they string telegraph, telephone,
electric light, and all other kinds of wires,
l am lineman, and the men | speak OF
are all in the same business. will tell
you all about it IL you will promise to
make the public understand that we are
not morally or legally responsible for the
lies we tell. The high toned officers Of
the companies we serve are responsible,
| never told more than n dozen lies in nv
life until l became lineman. Last year
l figured ont that | averaged . G6.3GJ
whoppcrs per day. How did | do it,
Well, kept count of all the nbs, fancy
and plain lies, and whoppers that | told
Here is my memorandum According 10
our arithmetic it. takes ten iibs to maze
one plain lie, ten plain lies to make one
fancy lie, and ten fancy lies to mako one
whopper.
Az EXPLANATION.
"That was the way prepared the
schedule on New Years day, but don't
mind telling you that the habit of lying
was so strong iu me that actually could
not set down the truthful result of my
figuring. But the total is right within
few fractions, and half the people who
study the problem will not he able to
figure any closer TO the correct results Y
LET me cNplaiu,n continued the line. '
man. ''if should through force of habit
tell an incidental lie, you mustn't be hard
on me The reason why we lie is this.
You see the boss lnemau will give
gang of us-thats three men-a memS.
randum of an address aHd a coil of wire,
and tell us TO put n telephone or telegraph
wire or an electric light wire, on Il partc.
ulGr house. Now, the nearest connection
is sometimes mile away, and how do
you suppose we are To get to the desired
house with the wiresy Well, we must lie
to get therc-purc, simple lying fills the
bill. We have no right to make u tee.
phone out of n mans house, but wc do IL
every time, with or without his consent,
Now If we went to man or woman and
said that we wanted to fasten u wire to
his or her house they would object every
time. But we sometimes tell them that
we want to pass wire over the house.
and assure them 1t will not touch their
property. That Is u fib. II we are met
with objections we 90 To some other houst
on the same block and say that we ART
mending neighbours roof and thatkbm
traps are sealed. We get upon thero&
quite often by this scheme which we @ n
fancy lie.
'"rhe plain lie is also pretty effective.
This is when we go to n house and say
that Il wire charged with electricity and
passing over the roof has broken and
fallen. We always insinuatc that there 10
danger il will set fire to the house, and il
is mighty sharp woman or man who
can stand us after that. When we are in
hurry we simply walk mp To n house and
say that we have been ordered by the owner
to put i'm a district messenger box for the
occupant free of charge. That whopper
settles it nine times out OF ten 1 never
saw II woman refuse to get something fot
nothing. After we have run the wire
over the house we come down and say
that we can't finish until the next day.
We never make more than one attempt on
one house. In the first place 1t would
arouse suspicion, and in the second place
1t doesn't make any difference To us what
house we get on in any block. Once ona
roof we can run all over the block, aud
have many Il time put II wire on the housx
of woman who Ind refused olet Inc up.
Most OF these women don't know to this
day that got ahead of them
PEOPLE or THE TENEMENTs.
"Thc funny thing about the trouble We
have Is that the people in the fashionable
districts do not kick half so much about
the wires us the people in the tenement
house districts. Thus iib will suffice In
Fifth avenue, II fancy lie on any of the up
town cross streets and plain lie in most
of the east side streets. But 20 into BaH-
ter street and Mulberry street, and 1t
'akes whOppcr every time to get us on
;he roof. suppose the poorer the people
are the more they stand on their rights
and dignity.
"A great deal Of our time Is spent In
repairing wires that some one has cut be-
cause we used his housetop Most of this
trouble IL III the tenement districts too.
You sec the poor man has not hing TO lose
by cutting the wire, but the rich mar
fears damage suit or "a scandal, and he
nrst makes complaint and we remove tlW
wire. We always tell people who threaten
To cut wires that the electricity will Kill
them as soon Hs the hatchet or AK comes
In contact with the wire, That settles II
in some CASEY, But we often run across
people who know better That woman
VINO chased me out of that house just now
Is the wife of u lineman, II seems, and she n
went FOR me just rs soon as gave her tin
old gag
''Iiave you the legal right TO put wires
where you pleascY' asked the reporter
''Of course we have said the lineman,
with magnificent contempt. lie was turn
Ntsh hnn har gt,. 10 md