The Arizona champion., 1888-09-22
EEKLY CHAMPION
BITS OF FUN.

Innocent Youth--How I admire
 ,ss Trsnquille's calmnessl She
 yer loses her self-possession.
 Tt Maiden--And never will.
 one of the young men want her.
 -Hsrper's Bazar.
 Teacher-'Try to remember
 is. Milton, the poet, was blind. "
 you think you can remember
 p "Yes, ma'am." "Now what
 as Milton's misfortunel" "He
 as a poet. ."-Nebraska Journal.
 "You have great deal of wind
 ere, don't youf inquirsd the '~ourist. "well, ye'es," sajd the
 ative, "ws have, but"-bfiehten' az up--'it doesn't belong here; it
 Il comes from away up in the
 orthwest, somewhere. ."--Burdette.
 Some of those old saws have a reat deal to answer for. For in- tance if somebody hadn't once aid, 'It is never too late to mend probably good many people would lot be postponing the process so ,ong.-Shoe and Leather Reporter.
 Not Dangerous Yet-"Julia, perhaps I am staying too late, Is not that your father tapping on the aoor overheadl" "Yes, Arthur, but don't go yet. He isn't danger ously mad until he goes tearing along the hall beating the gong, ,"- Judge.
 The burglar is not without a sense of humor. One got into little store in Akin, N. Y., the other day and took 5l cents, On the desk in the office the burglars left the following notice: ''The money taken will be used for campaign purposes, We are solid for Cleveland.
 Fitzoodle (who has remained to an unreasonable hour Sunday night urging his suit. Then am l to understand, Miss Breezy, that you will not be my wifel Miss Breezy (sleepily restraining a yawn(- That is it exactly. There is yawning gulf between us.--Boston Post,
 An suspicious beginning--"Vell, before I ontertake to gif you lessons on the folin, I wish to know if you haf correct carp Correct ear! Waal, I saw a feller play the peany with his nose in a show one time; but, great scissors! I didn't know ye ever played the fiddle with yer ear."
 The following comes from the school-room: Question-When and how long did Solomon reignl Ansew---Ten thousand yyears before Christ. He rained forty days and forty nights. Question-Susy, can you tell me what l read to you about yesterdayi Answer--Christ and the twelve opossums. --Ameri. c4n Missionary.
 A Cruel Speech--The twin brothers at the Mountain House were singing a duet. 70 that we two were Maying," they warbled sweetly. "Pohp said the sarcastic young lady. "You've mixed up the months. 70 that you two were Marching would more correct ly express the sentiment of the community"
 A gentleman who had had the misfortune to lose three wives within a few years showed his continued confidence in the fair sex by taking unto himself fourth. -'t the affair, some one having n,ked his l5-year-old daughter who had performed the ceremony, she innocently replied; "Oh, Dr., Moore, l guess, he generally marries lsspa."
 Deacon Willians-Brudder Jones how did yer son come outen de triali Brother Jones-De Jedge done give i'm two munfs in de j yil Deacon Williams--'Pears t.s me like as if you oughter be .Powful thankful. He got off mighty light, he did. Brother Jonas--Twarn't s light s you seem tr think. Dey's a-gwinter hang 'l.n when de two munfy is up.-- ls.rper's Magazine,
 '9Ias your son any vices, MT, EIankl Pardon the question, but I lac to know all about the boys l take into my office" "No; Henry ] as none that 1 know of, except, perhaps, amateur photography" Well, that's negative sort of a N'e. l never uIet an amateur l aotographer yet who took anything Mmth talking about, and I think l may trust your boy. Send him along"