The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1888-12-06

fit, and the paper hung in large m'
Iasses-covered welts on the walls.
looked real grotesque. / got a pape
hanger to come and look at it. He di
so.
"And what would you advise me t
do with it, sir" I asked, with degre
of Difference which l had never befor
shown to a paper-hanger.
"Well, 1 can hardly say at first. ]
is very bad case. You see, the glu
and stuff have made the paper an
| wrinkles so hard now, that it woul
cost a great deal to blast it off. Do yo
own the house?"
ayes, sir. That is, I have paid one
half the purchase price, and there is
mortgage for the balance"
"Oh. Well, then you are all right,
said the paper-hangel, with a gleam o
hope in his eye. Let it go on the mort
gage.'
So l did. 90.
Then l had to economize again, so
next resorted to the home method O.
administering the Turkish bath. You
CAN get a Turkish bath in that way. al
cost of four and one-half to five cents
which is fully as good as one which
will cost you dollar or more in some
places.
read it in paper. Ny wife said
she would help me. So she read the
directions, and got out the alcohol
lamp. There are two methods of ad-
ministering the low price Turkish bath
at home. One consists in placing the
person to be treated in a cane-seat
chair, and then putting pan of hot
water beneath this chair. Ever and
anon hot stone or hot fat-iron is put
into the water by means Of tongs, and
thus the water is kept boiling, the
steam rising in thick masses about the
person in the chair, who is carefully
concealed in a large blanket. Every
time not fat-iron or stone is dropped
Into the pan it spatters the .oiling wa
ter up the bare limbs of the person who
is being operated upon, and if you are
living in the same country with him,
you will hear him wrecking his chan.
ces beyond the grave by stating things
that are really wrong.
The other method and the one I
adopted is better than this. You apply
the heat by means of spirit lamp, and
no one, to look at a little fifteen cent
spirit lamp, would believe that it had
so much heat in it, till he has had one
under him as he sits in a wicker chair.
A wicker chair does not interfere
with the lamp at all, or cut off the
heat, and one is so sWathed in blankets
and rubber overcoats that be can't help
himself.
My wife got me seated that way, and
then applied the torch. Did the read
er ever get out,of bath and sit down
on wire brush in order to put on his
shoes, and feel a sort of startled thrill
pervading his whole being? Well,
that is good enough as far as it goes,
but it does not really count when you
have been through the Home Treat
ment Turkish Bath.
After my wife had me arranged, she
went into another room to read a new
book in which she was greatly inter-
ested. While she was thus storing her
mind with information, she thought
she smelled something burning. She
went around all over the house trying
to find out what it was. Finally she
found out.
It was her husband, I called to her,
Of course, bnt she wanted me to wait
until she had found out what was on
fire. tried to tell her to come and
search my neighborhood, but [ pre-
sumo did not make myself under
stood because I was excited, and the
fluff and bloom of my calves were being
singed off in way that may seem fun
ny to others, but not to one who has it
TO pass through.
1t bored he quite Il deal. Once the
wicker seat of the chair caught fire.
"Oh heavens" ! cried, with sudden
pang of horror, lam I to be thus de-
voured by the fire fiend? And is there
no one to Help? Help! Help! Help"
I also made use of other expressions
but they did not add to the sense of the
above.
I perspired very muchs indeed, and
so the bath was, in measure, a sue
cess, but oh, what doth it profit man
to gain bath if he lose his own soul?