The Arizona sentinel., 1888-05-05
SOME WITTY ANSWERS.
Amusing Remarks Made in English Courts
 of LAW.


 of Law.
 Our courts of law have furnished us at various times with very witty and amusing remarks. lawyers and prison CTS alike being guilty on this score. Doubtless every one has heard of the Irishman who, in reply to the ques- tion: Guilty. or not guilly?" said 'he would like to hear the evidence before he would plead" A magistrate in another case was dealing with ea va grant, and in a severe tone addressed him thus: You have been up before me half dozen times this year" thereby giving him to understand that he had appeared too often on tine scene. The prisoner. however, was equal to the occasion. for he repiied: Come, now, judge-nOne of that Every time I've been here I've seen you here. You are here more than am. People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones"
 Curran. the Irish advocate. was one day examining witness. and. failing to get direct answer, said: There is no use in asking you questions, for l see the villain in your face" Do you, sir?" said the man. with smile. "Faix, never knew before that my face was a bookings glass" On an- other occasion he was out walking with friend who was extremely punctilious in his conversation. The latter. hearing person near him say curosity for curiosity. exclaimed: {: How that man murders the English language!' Not so bad as that" re- piled Curran; 'he has only knocked an out!'
 Prisoner at the bar" said a judge, lis there any thing you would wish to say before sentence is passed upon youP" The prisoner looked toward the door. and remarked that he would like to say Good evening. if it was agreeable to the company"
 Il remember" says Lord Eldon, MT. Justice Gould trying case at York. and when he had proceeded for about two hours he observed: Here are only eleven jurymen in the box; where is the twelfth?' Please you, my lord. said one of the eleven, 'he has gone away about some business; but he has left his verdict with me-
 This is almost on par with case tried in one of the Lancashire courts, when Serjeant Cross was resident barrister in that county. The jury. having consulted and agreed upon their verdict, were addressed by the clerk of the peace: How say you, gentlemen of the jury; do you find for the plaintiff or the defendant?'
 What sayn yoP I dunnot under- stand" said the foreman.
 "Why, as you have decided. all l want to know is whether your verdict is for the plaintiff or the defendant"
 The foreman was still greatly en- barrassed; but he replied: ''Whoy, l raly dunnot know. but we're for him as Mester Cross is for ."
 Lord Cock burns looks, tones. lan-
 
 as to make one think that he believed every word he said. On one occasion, before he was raised to the bench. when defending n murder er although he failed to convince the judge and jurymen of the inno- cence of his client, yet he convinced the murderer himself that he was in- nocent. Sentence of death was pro- nounced, and the day of execution fixed for, say, the 2Oth of January As Lord Cockburn was passing the con- demned man, the latter seized him by the gown. saying: Il have not got justice, Mr Cock burn-I have not got justice. " To this the advocate coolly replied: Perhaps not; but you'll get it on the 20 ll If January" = hqmbsrs' Journal.