davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-09
BRIGHT BITS

WHEN man is sharp-sighted he is usually
creulted with having IAN eye like hawks, "
put II would be more complimentary to him to
say that he possesses an optic like that of a
blind beggar.-Ptck
A WRITER on the American small boy in the
Home Journal says he has a great deal of
apiomb. He has the whole Of it, generally, no
matter how much he may be urged to share q
plum with his little Sister.-IerdS Sitttngs.
GOTHAM GIRI-Wasn't it awful? farmer in
Nebraska was entombed in q we'll for eight
days.
Col. Kentuck-My Lord Eight days with
nothing to drink but water The Cartoon.
Mas. SAsHER--You're still with your old COM
mand, the Twelfth artillery, colonel?
Col Blenkinsoke-No; since the last new
cheruo came up at our quarters I've been trans
ferred to the Fourth infantry for night duty
Judge.
BAsHFuL YouTH-Will You take this chair,
Miss Ethel!
Miss Ethei-Oh. no. 1t has no arm
Bashful Youth (eagerly)-I shall be most hap
py-ah-to supply the deficiency, / assure you.
And he dld.--JuGge.
They had been looking at the moon. II
think, George she said gently, that L will go
III now; 1t is getting late?"
Don't go quite yet, darling" he whispered
passionately, 'the moon will be behind cloud
| in moment."-Terds Siftings.
You've SPINCKIE referring to the evening be-
ing chilly)-You should have brought some
lnlnR IudC WOulu nave been a protection TO you.
Miss Croonall--Yes; | should have thought of
that Ma said there were so many tramps
around here after dark.-Judge.
THREE of the admirers of pretty Burling-
ton girl called on her the same evening, and as
she answered the bell in person for the fourth
call she took the opportunity of hanging a
placard on the door bell: This is my busy
night. "-Burtington Free Press.
MISS CLARA had q delightful call from
young Mr.. Eligible last evening, Ethel. He left
quite early, as he said he had an important
matter to attend to.
Miss Ethel with slight coughl-Yes, he
stopped here about half past Q. He is pleasant
but think he stayed a little later than he
ought. York Sun.
PREACHER lat waits mission)-Yes, my dear
children, you little know of the blessed infiu-
ences which now surround you. My son Is here
with me to-day, and | will ask him for leaf
from bis own experience. Stand I'D. my son.
and speak so all the children can hear you How
were you led TO the Sabbath school?''
Preachers son lierceyl-By the ear.-Phila-
delphia Record.
DICK, THE HosTLER-Well, L allus sayd so, an
SEE it again, osSes is the most inteligentest
creatures ever was.
Tom, the Porter-P'raps thou wouldn't think
so If thoud been sarVed as wuz oncet, when
the squires mare, as WIZ aholdin' on, reared
| on her hind quarters an brought her forefoot
rect on top o my yed.
Dick-That ony bears out my argument
That was on'y done in play, lad; and the mare
picked out the thickest part.-LondOn Fun
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-09
A Lazy Girls Wish.

from the Wide Atcdke.
You ask if 1 could be
That which | would be,
What, from all natures sisterhood,
Would change place with
Would circle in space with
The stars, as starr or, from yonder wood,
Pour my soul singing
AS, upward winging,
/ sought the blue, fit home for birdf
No, a bird is too busy,
And star might get dizzy,
So I'd be neither-now, don't say world
Pray, do you suppose that,
Lovely red rose that
Mods and beckons and beams on me
Ever gets weary?
That ever a tear she
Sheds but for joy that she can bes
And that great daisy,
So white and lazy,
That stands with her sisters there in the sun
Has she care,
Burden to bear,
Trouble in life! Oh, mol not one.
I've read the story
OF the King in his glory
Who, was not arrayed like one Of thesel"
Twas Solomon; still he
Couldn't equal lily
A red field lily that fiaunts in the breeze.
So if could choose me,
With none to refuse me,
The lot I'd like best of all on the earth,
'Twould be that of the flowers
Who all through the hours,
Have nothing to do from the hour of their birth
There are no traces
On their fair faces
or sickness, sorrow, OF grief or sin;
Their only duty
On earth is beauty
They toll not, neither do they spin"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-09
DISTINCTIONS to Cur Commerce.


The demand for tonnage at this port is, it
seems, far greater than the supply. 1t is SO
/ great, in fact, that, according TO reports,
there has been marked decline in the price
OF cotton, because buyers have not been
able to get freight room. Other kinds of
bushes, which depend upon plentiful sup
| ply of tonnage are also suffering. A COM
munication in the MORNING NEWS of yes
! terday stated that during September little
or no lumber had be shipped from this
port although it is one of the great lumber
Shipping roints of the south. The commu-
nication further stated that great deal of
lumber had been shipped from Brunswick
during the same month.
Is it not time for the cotton exchange and
the board of trade to investigate this condi-
ton of affairs in order to find out the
reasons for it, and to apply the remedy
There must be reasons, and they can be dis
covered. Some give one reason and some
en- Their, but no business-like effort is being
made to get at the truth, and nothing is be-
ing done to remedy matters of which there
is very general complaint.
Do the merchants expect that the things
they and the city suffer, will right them
selves! Do they propose to sit with folded
hands waiting for something to turn up in
their favor: Would it not be much wiser
for them to get to work energetically TO
find out what the difficulties are under
which they labor, and to remove them.
There are complaints Of the port charges.
cotton press charges, wharf charges,
stevedore charges, quarantine deten-
tions, etc. What foundation there is
for these complaints we do not pre-
tend to say, but there is way to find
out. There are organized commercial
bodies whose interest and duty it is to deal
with such things and to make earnest and
persistent efforts TO clear away the obstacles
which seriously interfere with the com
MERGE of the port. Individual complaints
amount to nothing. There must be we'll
directed action of the most vigorous kind.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-09
DIFFICULT TO PLEASE.
a Matrimonially Inclined Mans OBJ
jections to the Girls He Knew.
Fr0Dl Terns Siftin0s.

a MaCrlmOnlaIly inclined man 8 ID
jections to the Girls He Knew.
From Terns Strings.
"Wby don't you marry?" was asked OF young
man who had been minglng with the best Ho-
boken society for years, had ample means to
support wife, and could, had he chosen, have
had the pick from scores of fair damsels.
II haven't found the girl that suits me yet"
was his response.
There's Miss A"
Eyes. l know she's all right enough now, but
what will she be twenty years hence with that
nose and chin, the drawn image of her mother?
Why. she be Just like the old lady, hideously
ugly. want a wife that will wear, do I'm
looking out for the future"
How about Julia B.. She ought to fill the bill
features regular and handsome, form grace
fun, pleasant conversationaliSt plenty of cash. y
Very true, but did you know her grand
mother? No? Well, Julia is the exact likeness
in every particular of what her grandmother
was at 20, so am told. just before the old
lady died she weighed $40 pounds, didn't have q
hair on her head nor a tooth In her mouth.
Think l want to be leading around a bald
headed, toothless old whale and introducing her
to my friends my wife? Not much, don t. "
But the Jones girl IS
The Jones girl! Ever see our cookl We've
had her for sixteen years. When she first
worked for us you couldn't have told her eyes
from the Jones girls. Now she's blind in one
eye and cross-eyed in the other I'd feel NICE
now, wouldn't /, TO have wife in fix like
thats''
There's Alice Brown-a perfect Juno. By
Jove! She has carriage like that blooded bay
of yours"
Yes, and that blooded bay of mine died yes
terday of distemper. Suppose | want house
full of horse medicines No, sir; no Alice Brown
for me. There's no use talking; I've made up
my mind that haven't yet met the lady of my
choice. There's no rush about it, anyway, and
I'll Just bide nv time
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-09
The Doctors and Nurses.

The doctors and nurses at jacksonville Go
not get along together very well. Their
differences have attracted good deal of at
tention outside of that city The com
planning nurses say that the doctor show
Partially, and the doctors say that some of
the nurses are incompetent and worthless
Col. Southmayd, Of New Orleans, went to
jacksonville as the chief of the Red Cross
nurses. He has been through a good many
epdemicS of yellow fever, and for many
years was secretary of the famous Howard
Association. He had not been in Jackson
vile long before he had trouble with the
doctors who are in charge of affairs there,
and he has now gone to Washington to give
to Miss Clara Barton, the president of the
Red Cross Society, his side of the story.
On his way to Washington he stopped
short time in Rome, Ca, and while there
made some statements to a reporter of the
Tribune of that city He insists that he
has been falsely accused of wrong-doing,
and that he was not to blame for anything
that occurred in Jacksonville.
Some of the statements which he made to
the Tribune will be apt to bring denials
from the Jacksonville authorities. One of
them is that they are spending money too
freely. He says that they have already
spent about $500 900, although the epidemic,
in his opinion, is not near its end. He
says that there is a malarial fever at
jacksonville that is more fatal than
the yellow fever that is prevailing
there, but that everybody who is taken
sick is reported to have the yellow fever.
He does not consider the yellow fever to be
of malignant type-not nearly as malig-
nant as he has frequently seen it in other
epidemics He insists that only few of
the colored people take it, but that major
ity of them who are reported as having it
are only pretending, SO as to get free ra-
tionS.
May not Col. Southmayd's opinions be
colored somewhat by what he considers his
unjust treatment2 The doctors who are
managing matters at jacksonville stand
deservedly high, and it would seem to be
impossible for them to treat unjustly any
one who went there to assist them.
1t is pity that the doctors and nurses
cannot get along without trouble In a
time of such disaster and suffering the aim
of every one should be to promote the
general welfare. Such talk as that of Col
Southmayd's in the Rome Tribune is calcu-
lated to make the charitable close their
purses. Doubtless the Jacksonville doctors
will make full statement of the troubles
which have occurred there at the proper
time.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-09


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The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-09
SORRY THEY SPOKE.
An English Oliver side by Side with
an Am erican Roland.

From the San Francisco Argondut.
Engishmen are, proverbially, ''thick-
skinned" and, not being especially sensitive
to the criticisms of others. they have NO hesita.
ton in freely speaking their minds. James
7. Fields had favorite anecdote OF an English
guest at his breakfast table, v no declined sugar
with his coffee. Never take sugar unless the
coffee IS ve'y, vey bad indeed you know
Presently he added, after tasting the coffee:
May l trouble you for the sugar9'' This
story may, however, be well fianked
by similar one, for which
an American is responsible He was
breakfasting, with his wife, at the house of a
friend, and, TO the surprise of bis hostess, de-
clined coffee. II thought you always took it ~
said she, ''Oh, do. at home" he returned,
loosely; but that's because my wife gives me
so little to eat. When there isn't much for
breakfast, take coffee in self defense The
conversation drifted into some interesting
channel. and he quite forgot his facetious ex-
cuse. Later, when the aroma of the coffee
struck him more and more temptingly, he
turned to his hostess. saying; Mrs. A,
would you allow me to change my mind ?
should so much like a cup of coffee!' And, as
he pathetically complains not one of the people
present will consent to his forgetting that ILL
judged request.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-09
A Little Rumpus in the Senate

FTUft NC LTItttEHU AFCFU3.
Distinguished United States senator rises and
addresses the presiding officer:
II wish to give notice. Mr.. President that
am about to violate the rules of this honorable
body by using unparliamentary language, but
that l will then withdraw the language and
apologize for having used it,"
The Chair-The gentleman will proceed.
Distinguished Senator-I merely wish to say
that the gentlemen on the other side Of The
chamber are mostly horse thieves and bunco
steererS.
The Chair-It is understood that the gentle.
man withdraws the offensive remarks. and that
by common consent they will be omitted from
the Record The gentleman who has just 1ung
a cuspidor at the gentleman who has the door
OF course apologies for the supplementary
act.
Second Distinguished Senator Most assuredly
/ do, Mr.. President
II Q Chair-very well The cuspidor will be
omitted from the Record. Proceed with the dc.
butte.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-09

Mr.. Andrew Carnegie, the protectionst
who once made 81, 100000 in year, ana
who PAID his employees % cents a day, has
returned to this country from his castle in
Scotland, 20 talk about the benefits of pro-
lection. From the standpoint Of the
monopolists, Mr.. Carnegie can give some
convincing reasons against tariff reform.
Probably be will also get in few words Of
praise Of his nonopoIistic friend. James q.
Blaine, who, through his proxy. Gen. Har-
rison, is the republican candidate for Presi-
dent this year.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-09

Charles A. Pitcher, the defaulting teller
of Providence, r. l., bank. who was re-
Gently sentenced to seven years. imprison-
ment in Canada for bringing stolen goods
into that county, does not like the idea of
working in the penitentiary. He has con-
cluded, therefore, to become insane, so that
he may be sent to an asylum. Pitcher, it
win be observed, appeared to he perfectly
sane up TO the time the decision of the
court. imposing sentence upon him, was
confirmed. Is he not sane enough now to
serve few Years in tho penitentiaryi
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-09

DR.. Gibbes, of the University of Michi.
gan, has become very much interested in
the cause of yellow fever, and wants to go
to Jacksonville to experiment. He is a
specialist, having been sent TO India at one
time by the British government to study
Asiatic cholera. He says he wants to
make few post norton examinations in
Jacksonville now, and return there next
year, when the fever will probably break
out again. Possibly, if the doctor goes to
Jacksonville, he had better make full
examination at ouce. II the fever should
not break out there again next year, he
would be greatly disappointed.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-09
He Took a Lesson in Law.

From the Detroit Free Press
Oars a pusson want rested an sent up v
said a colored man as he entered the Gratiot
avenue station and removed his hat.
who is it," asked the sergeant
used ter be my ole woman"
"Your wife?"
YES"
where is she nowf"
"Hangin aroun' my house an declarin' she
will kill my odder wife. It's agin de bargin an
she knows it, but she wants to be mean"
what bargain did you maker"
II dun toled de ole woman dat if she would
go way an quit claim on me I'd gin her 49, She
agreed an de money was paid, but jist as soon
as get dis new wife she comes back to bodder
us"
Didn't you get divorce?"
mo, sab. j jist made bargain"
Then you have two wives and can be sent to
prison.
No"
That's the way of it,"
An de bargin wasn't cordin' to lawf"
mo"
AN can be 'resteds"
YES"
"Shoo! Say, you jess keep quiet bout twenty
minits I'll go home an bounce dc new wife,
an take de ole one back, an make up wild her
/ jess reckoned she was BLOWN around, and
here she s had the cotton wood on me all de
time! Shoe, Gin me twenty minits an look
out fur splnters.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-09

q A young lawyer Of Brooklyn has devel-
oped a new and novel plan FOR keeping
families supplied with fresh cggs He is u
member of company organized for that
purpose, and having at It's command slO.-
600 with which to buy hens. These hens, 1t
Is stated, will be of fruitful nature and Of
docile disposition. They will be rented 10
customers, will be kept Gagged, and the
renters win thus be enabled to get eggs
which are absolutely fresh. The renters,
however, do not propose to be held respon-
sibie Tor the failure of the hens to do their
duty.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-09

For some time the esteemed republicans
have been declaring that ex-senator Carl
schurz has become disgustod with MIR.
Cleveland and his administration; but Mr..
Schurz writes lotter from Germany which
knocks this statement in the head lie is
not very well satisfied with what the Presi.
dent has accomplished in civil service re.
form, but he is heartily in favor of Cleve.
land and Thurmans election. Oae reason is
that he could not vote for Blaine under tue
thin disguise Of Harrison. Republican
praise of Mr.. Schurz will now be turned
into abuse.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-09

On his way to Washington the other day,
Mr.. Thurman expressed some interesting
opinions. He said that since Mr.. Cleveland
has signed more pension bills than any of
his predecessors, it Is foolishness on the
part of the republicans to talk about those
ne vetoed why didn't the Senate pass
those bills over his vetoes if they wanted
them passedp he asked With regard to
trusts, he said that they have grown up
through the avariciousness of men, and
that the high protective system fosters
them. He called them grinding monopo-
lies, and said the laws of the land ought to
be enforced against them. Speaking of the
democratic prospects, he said that New
York, New Jersey and Indiana would GER
tainly 60 democratic. Connecticut he re-
CARDS as doubtful, but he has strong hopes
that the democrats will carry that state
and California, Nevada, Michigan and Wis
consin, while Ohio, he says, is going to give
the country a surprise by polling very
heavy democratic vote.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-09

fool and his money are soon parted.
Thomas Brennan, Of Belleville, n. j., some
days ago received S3,7OO by the death of
his uncle. He Immediately quit work and
arranged his plans for enjoying himself.
He spent the moley at the rate of 5000
day, and at the end of three days was as
poor as before he received it, beside being
out of job and having very uncomfort-
able feeling about the head, as the result of
the ''enioymentn he had experienced.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-09

The New York Worlds special reporter,
smelly Bly," seems not to have been dis
couraged by Mrs Cleveland's dignifed and
proper refusal TO be interviewed. She
called on the wife of ex-senator Warner
Miller, the republican candidate for gov
error of New York, the other day, and
wrote out lengthy interview, either genu-
iae or bogus, with that lady. When Gov.
Hill reads the young womans article, he
will probably rejoice that he is not mar
ried.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-09

Gen. Dan Sickles says Mr. Cleveland is
going to get a much larger vote among the
ex-soldiers than he did in 1884, and the gen.
eral is probably right. With all their talk,
the republicans cannot convince the veter-
ans that Mr.. Cleveland has not been very
friendly to them.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-09

1t is declared in republican circles that
department clerks in Washington are told
by the democrats to contribute to the cam
paign fund, or resign. Evidently these re-
publicans have come across an old circular
issued about the time Dudley and New were
turning the screws on the government en-
ployes. Those days have passed.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-09
AN ODD WAGER.
How a New Yorker Impressed Pal
isian with His Fame in America,


isian with His Fame in America.
From the Boston Courier.
II have just won an odd bet," New York
caller said to the editor the other morning.
And that was what.'
when was in Paris last spring bet friend
that should receiv e a letter addressed simply
with my name and America laid him $50 tC
$50 on this and $40 to $50 that it would be de
livered to me as a first trial on the part of the
post Office authorities. / won on both counts. y
But your name is not so unusual"
"Oh, no; there are dozen of us in the New
York directory"
"Then, what is the explanation the editor
asked. Are you on specially intimate terms
with the folk at the posUofficey''
'Oh, not at all, i" was the response. THE ex
PLANTATION is very simple. The European mail.
naturally come to New York. and the postoffict
people try the directory before they send a let
| ter to the dead letter Office. My name happens
to stand at the head of the list in the directory
and so they tried me first, just as supposed
they would took my chances, of course, bu
l won all the same. -
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-09

Speaker Carlisle doesn't think Mr.. Blaine
will help the republican cause by speaking
in Indiana. Certainly he will not, if Mr.
Carlisle accedes to the request of Indiana
democrats and follows Mr. Blame with
triff reform speeches in that state.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-09

The rabid Cincinnati Commercial.
Gazette asserts that President Cleveland
hntes Gov. Foraker Why, bless you no!
He doesn't hate Foraker. 1t is doubtful if
he ever gives Foraker a thought. What
could have put such an idea into the Com
meTcidl- Gazette's headl
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-09
" hat Sort of Projections

From the Hartford Times (Dena)
The republican tariff bill favors Carnegie,
whose profits are 81 500, coo year more than 1t
ing for themselves and their wives and chill
dren. and who build cheap wood houses to live
In. What sort of ''protecton" is this?
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-09

Mrs. J. Ellen Foster writes to the Phila-
delphia Press to state why she is republi-
can. OF what interest is it to the public to
know whether Mrs. j. Ellen Foster is a re-
publican or not ?
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-09

Among the democratic clubs present to
hear a speech by Gov. Hill, in Oneida, N.
Y. the other day, was one composed of
Oneida Indians, the only members of the
Indian race in New York who have been
enfranchised. Gov. Hill seems to be meet
ing with ovations all over the state, and
there can hardly be doubt that he will be
reelected.