St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-10-07
A PARENTAL ERROR.
SelfSacrif cling Parents to Blame
for Selfish Children.

Oc1I-S8CFIt CHG dEtnlS 10 toldLne
for Selfish Children.
Written for the Globe.
In no instance is the mistaken idea of
self-sacrificP, common to all church-ad-
judged good persons. more clearly illus
trated than in the relation of good par
ents to bad children. The ingratitude
of their offspring is an almost uni
versaI plant among men and wom-
en- of advanced years who have
consumed their best energies tOiing.
struggling, piaching. to bring up
family of boys and girls, who. in the
very circumstances their devoted par
entS have created about them. are
hedged in by the impOsSIbility of being
anything but selfish ana ungrateful.
The self-denying, self-crucified. self
ScOrned mother VINO signs her sorrow
full surprise that Mrs. So-and-So.
who has never done for her
children One-half what she has
done for her own dariings. should have
n family that never fails in duty to her.
uncOnsciOusly condemns herself in the
natural law which the case she repre-
sents instances. Mothers forget that
every time self-sacrifice is committed
the SelfiShneSS of somebody Is encOur-
aged-the vital energy of one person is
being wasted to induce excessive vi
tally in another, and every time a
mother goes without this or that
which is her due. simply because it
will please her child to possess it. she is
party TO the moral death OF her child
and is perpetrating a sin that one day
will come home to rOOst in the
shape of that child'S greed and in
4 In, ,-Fr r,nf,
she respects her own rights and does
her duty by herself. in just such proper
ton will her children respect and do
their duty by her. The person who
is daily guilty of undue self-Sacrifice
becomes morally deformed. as one who.
because it delights others, rObs himself
of one bodily member after another. be-
comes physically defOrmed. The best
sentiment he can hope to inspire is
pity, and pity, as analyZed, is a mix
ture of love and contempt. with one or
the other element in prepOnderance, as
the nature happens to be, emotional or
intellectual.
You mothers who contemplate wear
ing a cloak that is positively shabby
this winter in order that Katie. or Fan
ME, or Mary, may have a new one made
in extreme style, try to realize that if
your daughter in the handsome garment
your mistaken generosity has provided
her. is ashamed of you in your poorer
one. the fault is more yours than hers.
Society pTescribes certain rules of ac-
ton and of dress for certain castles.
and the individual who defies them
must assume the consequences. If YOU
persist in elevating your children above
yourself it is not in the nature of af-
fairs for them not to recognize the diff
ference between you, and it is in
human nature for them to for
get that you created the
breach because YOU love them.
Young people are more sensitive to ap-
pearanceS than older ones, and not UNI
reasonably so, since appearances are all
we have to Judge one another by.
However much they may want to help
1t. they can not help feeling if their
father or their mother are unlike the
parents of their associates. Dress
so that your children will be
proud OF your looks, read so that they
will venerate your wisdom. and act so
that they may initiate you without suf-
fering the consciousness that they are
socially OstraciZing themselves. Don't
seek to be the slaves of your children,
be their comprehensive gOodfellOWs
whom they are always glad TO welcome
in their midst, whom they prefer above
all others, because more than all others
you are loved, trusted and respected;
don't be their paSt-be their present
and their future.
PRUDENCE CRAWFORD.