The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1888-07-27
FOLKS WHO GET FULL.
THE QUEER ANTICS OF VARIOUS PER.
SONS WHEN FuDDLED.

VI S0AA0 ~ W W . NAAAV0kV
Reporter-Peculiar Decisions Of the In
ebriate-Merry Old ~Chaps-Seeins the
Elephant-A Scare.
There is sometimes a sort of picturesque
ness about the peculiar delusions Of an inc
briate which reaches beyond the mere dis
gushing and borders upon the realms Of thu
pathetically grotesque, and while we cannot
but regret the weakness of the individuals
we are forced to smile at his idiosyncrasies.
One OF these peculiar cases occurred the other
evening at one of the prominent hotels in the
city. The hour was late and the majority of
the sedate and well regulated guests had re-
tired. Suddenly the front doors were thrown
open with a bang, and through the aperture
emerged a young gentleman who but a few
hours before had departed in all the glory of
spruce clothes and fine linen. Now his hat
was on the back of his head, his clothing was
disordered, and there was a drunken leer
upon his handsome face. As he staggered to-
ward the desk it was noticed that he was
dragging behind him one Of those dressed
models which the clothiers of.the present day
exhibit in the front of their stores. Ap-
preaching the clerk with an unsteady gait,
the intoxicated individual called out:
II shay, bic, ole boy, can't yer take, hic,
care of Harryl He's shoe drunk to shtand.
He vanish to go to bed"
The clerk %obligingly took care Of the
mummy" which the inebriate fondly i'm
agined to be his friend, and promised to see
him safely to bed, after which the young
gentleman consigned himself to the care Of
two stalwart porters who conducted him to
his room,
LIBERIA OLD FLOWS.
Another of the picturesque drunkards is
the liberal old bachelor who, when he is in
clined to be merry, insists that all his friends
shall join with him in the worship of the
rosy god Bacchus. His opportunities become
wearisome, but he is not in the least non
plussed, and when friends fail to respond to
his call he seeks the companionship Of the
general loungers about the bar.
One of these generous individuals was seen
the other evening on Clark street. Tie hour
was late, and the jolly old gentleman was
seated on the sidewalk with a demijo,n un-
der his arm and a well filled glass in his right
hand. He was jolly and generous, and
wanted the whole world to enjoy his liquid
hospitality.
"Come, boys" he cried, "let's all take a
drink. Whisky's as free as water, and since
the flood water tastes too much of drowned
sinners. Who wants water! Lots all take a
drink"
He was only brought to a realizing sense of
his condition when two guardians of the law
took charge Of him and escorted him to his
howell, after ~appropriating the demijohn for
sheir own uses.
The other evening the police discovered a
we'll preserved and we'll dressed middle aged
individual calmly sleeping in a mortar bed
which stood in front of a half completed
building. The somnolent gentleman had
taken of his hat, but without taking the
trouble to further disrobe had quietly settled
himself for q snooze. Considerable effort
was needed to arouse him, and when he
finally gained his consciousness he looked
helplessly around him and murmured:
Purity good bed, out the feathers stick to
a fellows clothes"
SEEING THE ELEPHANT.
There is a young gentleman in the CITY
whose ~fancies, while under the influence Of
liquor, are most peculiar. He is an ardent
lover of animals and his pets comprise al
most the entire animal kingdom. He seldom
goes to excess in drinking, but when he does
there is no limit to his bibulations. When in
the last stages his younger days invariably
return to him, and he imagines himself the
smal boy at the circus. The elephant ap-
pears to be his chief source Of delight. and
instead OF snakes, and scorpions, and crawl
ing things, his dreams are peopled with the
sportlvo elephant, and lie babbles on as
happy as a child with its first bag of peanuts
beneath the canva Of the peripatetic
menagcrie.
Then there Is the picturesquely rapid young
man. Busting and active while sober. his
ruling passion while under the influence of
liquor is to keep things moving. A case of
this kind occurred a few evenings ago when
one of these rapidly inclined inebriates en-
tered q railroad depot to wait for q train and !
carry him to his suburban home. Be-
coming tired of the monotony of the sit
uation, he wandered down tho track, and
finding q putting engine without its usual I
occupation Of engineer and fireman, he reck-
lessly stepped aboard and pulled the throttle
wide open. In an instant the engine began
to move and the rapid young man, in
thorough alright, leaped from tho cab, sus-
tanning serious injuries. The wild engine
sped upon its way, and had it not been for
the GOODNESS and foresight of q switchman
a terrible disaster night have occurred. As !
it was, the rapid young man was arrested
for his freak, and now in a dungeon cell as
asserts that John Barleycorn and he are
sworn enemies.
drunkenness may be picturesque" said
one old stager, ''but as for me, I'll take minein
some other shape. When it comes to ringing
own door bell and asking your wife to
down and pick you out Of a crowd who
o know their own names, then its time
to quit, and l don't want any more pictur-
esque in NINE"
Altogether it may safely be argued that
he safest, pleasanteet and easiest way of en-
life is to discreetly avoid tho pictur-
esque, the unique or tho decidedly unusual
trunk. Chicago Herald.