Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-03-31

pressure encrcles her like folden or silken net,
and prevents q thousand escapades into which
passion or feelings might nu1ry ner; A wen,orea re-,
attract notice at first In new society, but the
great PROBABILITY is that she win get the best
IKE large liberty to herself as to dress eQuipage,
and style, but she should never outrage conDe-
nances. eve have no English word which ex-
presses the delicate shade OF meaning which this
French word so aptly denneS) No lady will push
herself she will be lady through all the trials OF
Wealth and 's She viii do her Dart ,n The social
world gently, honorably, and well. She viii mega
lively observe all the nuances OF poor manners;
she is wanted never elsewhere. And yet the
reader may observe II this Is poor breeding, where
are all the wel,;bred peopleS The question would
ranks OF fashionable society do we md the most
thoroughbred people But the age being q revo-
concerned, we must look deeper than fashion for
Centric, and bold, who IS as insolent as a prize
"getting into society" sooner than the quiet and
well-bred woman, but who envies her her position.
AT DINNER.
1t Is easy enough TO learn when and where to
leave card, but to behave at q dinner how to eat
with ones fork and to use q finger-bow how to
Dress where to sit in q carriage how to
bow and how 10 curtsey, how to receive and how
to drop an acQua1ntance-butw what a varied educa-
ton is that which teaches us to be wen bredl Can
we acquire 1t? Can we get TO be a thoroughbred"
all by ourselves? Yes, TO become polite and well
bred is possible. Some women have but to bow
long and patiently to achieve good manner. The
worst manner Is born OF sulf-suf1cient arrogance;
a woman announces herself a vulgarian by every
are the outcroppings OF ignorance and selfish In
difference. Until the heart is mended the man
ners will continue bad. A young couple should
never be deceived by the thought that If they can
get into some envied clique their position and
happiness would be assured for life. Nor should
to be opened by a few fashionable people. Society
In America is much too large for that and even II
the .clique" represents to them what is seemingly
bulldogs it will not be pleasant place for them,
even II they do get In.
HUSBAND AND WINE IN PUBLIC
A young couple devoted to each other sometimes
fall into the error OF showing their affection too
plainly in company. People OF tact and taste
never make this mistake. Husband and wife
should not take much notice OF each other In pub
lie; both should be devoted to their guests. "Mak.
Ing love In public Is great offense against good
tage. Still less should they quarrel in public
that puts them and the guests and the hosts and
everyb body else in a very bad box-the witness box
possibly, II 1t goes Tar enough. Let no young
couple be ashamed to receive attention from
older and richer people than themselves, which
are 1oyruliy extended, put which they cannot for
they can young married couple owe 1t to them
selves TO be fastidious as to the character OF all
their acquaintances. 1t is OF the greatest impor-
lance in every new departure to begin wen.
PLANTATIONS.
A young married woman, If she be pretty and un-
known, is exposed to one danger which her husband
must guard her against. Some faded beau OF
fashion may md her out, and promise to intro.
duce her into society If she will fiirt with him.
This succeeds wonderfully well at first, as all
emperical remedies are said to do but 1t is apt to
be fatal In the end. For even q fashionable posi-
must be honestly gained II 1t is going to last at
all
TIA young married woman has any special talent,
suchas music, she soon gathers about her congen.
ial crle II she has taste Tor charities or good
works, she Will thus make friends. But this
should not be abused. One charity in New York
young women OF social ambition Joined It. SIMPLY
that they might know the eminent ladies who
usesh her religion or her charity to increase her
fashion she deserves to be found out, and turned
out
IN SOCIETY.
II she is a sincere good worker and true woman
she is appreciated and recognized No young
woman need be ashamed to make a first visit in a
new society, but In advising person to be not too
shy we would not advocate "push.n There should
be an Instinct In such matters II person is much
more distinguished than ourselves, busy and soci
ably prominent, OF course no young woman wishes
TO step over the line so very distinctly drawn we
are, however, all on sliding scale in America;
certainly not where he may stand Tomorrow No
well-bred person makes violent effort TO achieve
what may be q valuable acquaintance still
there should not be, especially In rural neighbour
hoods, any foolish hanging back about first call
TO receive new acquaintance with a brusque
discourtesy or an Indifferent GOODNESS is a bit of
1ll-breeding which hurts only the offender.
Charles Eliot Norton has written an ad-
m1raole essay on the vulgarizing effect
OF wealth in our American society "a
wealth, although it gives prominence has really
very little power In stamping out character .An
old Ar1stocrat" Is still power even in the newest
state the claims OF talent good breeding and cul-
ture are all respected BY wealth. Our richest fami
lies In New York are our best, kindest and most
polite people. Wealth sees that there are things
which money cannot buy. A man or woman who
has education and good manners, tact and cour-
teSy, Is even a favOrlte at the Opulent houses OF
those who entertain good manners, and bad man
ners occur independently OF rent tolls and even in
a commercial metropolis wealth has not ASSUMED
as yet TO be the keeper Of the portals OF society
An American at home, II he leads good and use.
ful life, 1s nobleman. as good as anybody and he
and his wife are entitled TO the very best the world
over. NJ. E W. SHERWOOD.