Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1888-05-13
AT COUNTRY HOMES.
SUGGESTIONS IN REGARD TO THE
FIRST LAW OF HOSPITALITY.
An Invitation to an Englishman's House.
What 1t Implies-The Americans Way
of Doing Things-Embarrassmen of the
Host-A Rule.

Host-A Rule.
There are thousands of country-yet in one
way city like-homes in the suburbs of our
large cities today where twenty years ago
they might have been numbered by tens Nor
is this only the natural effect from the cause
of an ever increasing population We are
realizing that we want more pleasant daily
living; that such sweet, simple home life as
that of England is possible to q certain ex-
tent even amidst the rush and push and crush
of American business We are tired of see
ing each face which passes us In the crowded
streets more keen, more anxious, more sharp,
more unrestful than the last And we are
seeing the possibility of much comfort and
endowment without untold riches; we are re-
alizing more and more that immense for
tunes are not the only end of man, and so are
taking time TO find out what can be made
pleasant on comfortable income, and we
gather our friends about US to be happy to-
gether. For certain it is that the pleasure Of
entertaining is one of the greatest in life.
1t is admitted, of course, that for any STAN
dard or degree of living it takes an income
from four to five times as large in the United
States as in England, but our country is too
large, too young to have developed all its re-
sources as they have done to each little inch
of space there; and we must wait many years
for this thing to balance itself. Meantime we
are philosophical enough TO ''kiss each JOY rs
it fiiesn
on BEING INVITED.
The first thing one realizes on being invited
to an Englishman's house is that one Is invited
to come at a certain time and stay until a
mi, Tbora iS inAaf1nire invita-
ton: '1Come and make US a visit whenever
YOU can" leaving one with half certainty
that one would be welcome, and very de-
cided uncertainty, should one go whenever
one could, as to whether ones visit would not
be very i'll timed No; one starts with def
mite fact, and consequently with something to
lay hold of and be at ease about-a knowl-
edge that one is wanted at such time and
for so long.
An Englishman, hastily and correctly.
from habit, reviews his engagements, both OF
a business and social nature, and replies at
once, thus in his turn giving his host that
certain ease of knowing. Il shall be happy
to come to you on the day you state, and can
arrange to remain until the -" He then
states the train he will take, or, perhaps. his
host has suggested a tram; or, If it Is too far
ahead TO state positively, he adds: Il will
inform you by post or telegram day or two
before of the hour of my arrival" The host
then is ready, his plans are formed, the guest
is sure of his welcome, and the visitor starts off
with pleasant ease. If he cannot go he de
clines as promptly and as definitely. But
when an American receives such an invita-
ton, what is his course. Very apt is he to
think That's pleasure I'm too busy to
write today. Anyway, [ must have few
days to think it over and the invitation is
pushed aside for a more convenient season.
Meantime the hosts are uncomfortable and
wondering ''why So and so does not write"-
Elf So and SO received our letter"-''if we
only knew that So and 50 could not come we
would invite some one else"
EE WRITES AT LAST.
At last our American writes. Does he
either decline or accept? Americans are a
positive race-about busineSs-but where
social life is concerned It is only the women
who are at all punctilio,.s. No, he says:
"Could not reply to your letter at once, and
even now am not certain if we can accept IT;
will let you know in few days" or worse
still: "Don't believe we can arrange to come
to Won on the 18th How would the 18th suit
your Fancy the embarrassment of the host,
who has asked some one else for that datel
Or again, and to our shame be it said, this is
often done: Cannot come when you say,
but think can arrange it later. VIII let you
know
On. the thoughtless assurance of such a
reply passeth belief, but the people who make
it are often, in other things, the most unas-
surning persons OF course it is only due to
thoughtlessness and the habit of the land to
regard social duties as secondary and unim-
portant Many an American hostess has had
her lunch table stand half the afternoon and
her dinner wait an hour for the arrival of
guest who agreed to come but forgot to state
the hour After all, in life it is the little
things which constantly rub against the
grain, and the hosts who are put ont and in
convenienced by uncertainty can never be so
glad to see the guest who causes such annoy
ances as he who says when he will come, and
comes when he says.
As deduction the first law Of hospitality
should be that old rule, ''Do unto Others as
you would have them do unto you" And
Americans should learn to be more positive
and exact about these little things Be sure
to ACCEPT or decline an invitation to house
visit as promptly and as positively as one to
dinner, and do exactly as you agree about
the time of arrival, 10 matter if it should at
the time prove a little more convenient to go
an hour or two earlier or iater-Chicago
Herald
An Offended Window Gazer.
'I remember one instance of a seedy look
ing individual. who came regularly every