The Red Cloud chief., 1888-08-31
PUNGENT

Its a pity that tho dude cant b
allowed the woman's privilege o
changing his mind. Perhaps if he wer,
he might possibly make II swap for on,
that was occasionally good for some
thing.-JOurnai of Education.
The il why SO many old familie:
die out is because the younger ones have
not bee sense enough to swarm. They
want to stay together and live on eact
other until they all s;arvc.-N. D. Plea.
yune.
-She-''Ralph. why did You send
Inc IA little red flag to-day" Ralph Ga
rejected and detected suitOr)-.I beg
You will wear ii as a signal of danger.
You know. l would not like to see the
other fellows suffer AS i do now
LIE.
Young man." he said. sOlemnly.
"what would you think if | should put
an enemy into my mouth to steal away
my brains:'' IL would (hic) think,
SIR hic-cougned the young man.
that You we're going to an unneces-
sary eXpcnsc."-N. y. SIM.
With 100000 represented in a
single dog show this country has no
reason to be discouraged. Twenty years
from now We shall DE worth MANY MILL
ions in dogs. though We may possibly
lose a few sheep.-LouisciIe C0Urier-
Journal.
An article is going the rounds of
the papers headed: How to Seluc. :.
Wife Its rules are very scientific
and interesting. bat wnen Il young man
falls in lore he doesn't ponder over
rules. He JUS shuti both his eyes tight
and grabs frantically in the dark
S0merciNs Jur1Gi.
Irrespective son-in-law-..Moaern
custom iustifies me in asking you how
much youare going to give your daugh-
ter in case we m~arry?.' Prospective
father-in-law-'Yes. and modern c,ls-
iuStiiies me in asking you how
many of your debts you expect to pay
with my money.'-7tras Syiings.
Mrs. Chilsley-..i See statistic,
show that for,y-tive per cent. of mule
are unmlrriel.' Mr. Chils-
ey-"Which shows how many men
the ~penitentiary to matrimony."
And the ensuing silence was SD deep
Mrs. Chilsley could hear herself
reilcct."-Puck
lis it becoming { ne|' SIZE asked. !
she paraded i'm the costume of one
hundred years ago before hc- husband. |
Yes. my dea...' said he. meekly. |
Don't you wish l could dress in this
always" mo. my dear: but
wish" he added musinsiy. you had
lived when that was th- style"
-Lightning-rod agent Ito bOy): as
hat your fathc- lying there in the
shade. sonny?:" Boy-.NO. sir: pas
away. an me and ma is the only ones
It home; that's II de|d book agent.
Dye want to sell ma any thinga9"
no." said the ligAtning-rod
nan.
The day will come In this country
when the man who carries u cane
lnder his arm and the man who car
les an umbrella on his shoulder. will
,e taken u and hit with a squash,
md hit hard enough to kill. Then the
woman with the baby cart wants to
OOk Out.-DctrOi Free Press.
-LOng-haired Stranger.-..My friend.
Ion't you believe in the grand old
maxim that Honesty is the best policy"
'itizen-"Well. ! didn't use to. sir;
nut now that | have accumulated
mug fortune and retired from business,
m beginning to think there's sOme-
hing in it. An honest man. stranger,
5 Il very noble work indecd."-TInic.
According to the Rcpuhiican. Il
springfield market man sent an order
D Il farmer in a reighboring town for
ONE chickens. but neglected to state
'he:her the fowls should be shipped
live or dressed. Not being up" on
urrent literature. he was rather sur
rised to receive n postal the next day,
n which was written: 1.-The quick or
ne dead?:"
-"Why. Bilbcck." said Singleman
} a friend in a restaurant. Il thought
went to housekeeping u week ago,
nd now l find you here taking your
Yes" said B;lbeck. gainish-
~ a fried oyster with ketchup, 1.-TWO
avs after we commenced hOusekeep- I
~ our cook was taken sick, and my
life has been filling her place. and you i
she took lessons at a cooking I
.hool."-Dr0ke's Ma5d.ine. I
Toilet Recipes Of Ancient Egypt.