Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1888-04-13
PITH AND POINT.

n Founuer seldom acts ON the square.
A sad rehection-A crying girls face in
a mirror.
A speaking slence-Conversation be.
tween deaf mutes.
Why is lover like q kernel of corn
Because he turns white when he pops.
Freeman Journal.
When q woman busies herself with
hammer and nails it is difficult to tell
what she is driving at.-SJtiags.
1t seems absurd to speak of blind
mans favorite color, and yet everybody
has heard of blind mans buff. It'd
Bits
The reason that the old beau's hair is
of that greenish black hue is that he is
willing to dye for the woman he loves
Merchant IraoClr.
In Paris there are said to be people
who make living by waking people up
in the morning. They must do rousiug
business. Boston Bulletin.
Young Hopeful" Papa, what is a
stepson p "a son by marriage, Willie"
"Then stepladder is the son of lad
der by marriage, isn't he, papa Z"
"What is your idea of true gentle,
man, Jack ?" A true gentleman always
laughs at the joke of a story and never
says he heard it before. "-Mercury.
"Say," said a man in Calvert street
restaurant, ''if those are canvas back
ducks, bring me some with sheet iron
backs. Dye hearW-BtJtimOre Press.
The woman suffrage movement in this
country is forty years old, and there are
some women who have courage to admit
that they helped stalt it.-BOstOn Post,
"You are yawning," said wife to her
husband. "My dear" he replied, "the
husband and the wife are one, and when
am alone am bored. - Commercial Ad-
rertiSer.
Bjones-"Th fellow Gagley tried to
borrow $500 of me this morning."
Smythe-"$ $500! He must be cracked !"
Bjones-"No, he's not cracked. He's
broke. "-LIe.
Miss San, ,gbleu Indignantly -t'Waiter,
you've got your thumb in my soup!"
Green waiter (assuringly)--"No matter,
miss; it isn't hot enough to burn me" y
HarUard LampOon.
Old Fogy-"And what is your brother
Frank doing now" City Visitor-"He
is paying a good deal of attention to his
etching" Old Fogy-"Um! What is
he taking for it3"-Ju1qe.
"The carnival at Rome must have been
very jolly this year." remarked Mr.. Wen
dell. "He didn't strike me So, replied
Miss st. Paul; "or, at least, not the one
| saw receive the red hat at the Vati-
can"
A school teacher recently asked her
class the question: "What is a pilot?"
The smart boy answered: "It is lot
where they grow plant" and was
sent to the foot of the class. .-Mjlaoaukee
Wisconsin,.
Tramp-"Here's pie I stole off yel
windy, mum. want to bring it back. {"
Housekeeper-"Well, Pm glad you've
got some conscience. Tram p-"Yes'm.
Pm tough, but l don't care to eat a
strange mince pie. "-NetO York Sun.
Brown-'T say, Dumley, Robinson
has threatened to knock some horse
sense into you the first time he meets
you. You want to look out for your
self" Dumley (contemptuously)-
"Poohl 1t would take dozen men like
Robinson to do wallpapers Basar.
There is a summer hotel in New
Hampshire called the Quoquinnapass-
kessananaguog House. The name runs
twice around the building and then away
out into the woods, where it is used as q
trail by fishing parties. -Ne,O York Ners.
Put it in Another Light Energetic
Mother-"You should do your best to
impress Mr.. Featherly, Clara; he is
awfully rich, and very, very good"
Clara 81 know that, mother; but he is
too good. hate good men," Mother
--"les, but think, my dear. The good
die young" Clara promises to con-
slider the matter. Life.
"Have you spoken to my daughter
yet?" asked the old man. "No, sir;
wanted your consent first" ''Well,
advise you to give up the idea. don't
believe she would marry you, and if she
did, neither of you would be happy
"Why do you think so, sirg" "Because
you part your hair in the middle, and
she parts hers on the side.-NeW York
Nel0S.
'My beloved BRETHREN" announced a
preacher from his pulpit, "Sabbath
morning next a collection will be taken
up for our blessed Fiji mission. p"
"Amen," rang fervently through the
congregation. "And | would add"
went on the preacher impressively,
'that amens, however resonant and sim
cere, make but little rattle in the con-
tribution box. Let us unite in prayer"
---New York Sun.
When the weather Is wet,
We must not fret;
When the weather is dry,
We must not cry;
When the weather is cold,
We must not scold
When the weather is warm,
We must not storm,
But be thankful altogether,
Whatever the weather"
--iSifttnya