St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-07-07
BoWsER's BUBBLINGs.
He Gets Mixed Up as to Which
Are Originals and Which

an nour one evening, when he put down
his paper, glanced around at the walls,
and finally said:
was over to Johnson's this after
noon to see his horse"
ser?' ms MI i'o"-
Pm of age.''
"Oh, certainly, but you know how
ureadtully we were deceived i'm that last
horse" ''' '''O
we were deceived? Not much! You
were taken in and done for, but 1 wasn't
fooled in the least"
but you bought him and he Turned
out to be blind in one eye and all spav-
Certainly, but L bought him for a
blind and spawned horse. If any one
can fool me on horse he is wei
come to-"
We'll, 1 hope you didn't buy of john
You needn't worry. You've taken
on so about horses that shall never
Duy another one. Johnson invited me
into the house,"
Ibid he?"
certainly; and l guess it was 4 plan
TO make me ashamed of my own home"
w ny, MIR. BowSer!''
" GU needn't why Mr.. Bowserr me.
Ii had wife like Mrs. johnson L
would be happy mau. She's smarter
than streak OF summer lightning"
in what respect?''
IN all respects. She has been taking
lessons in elocution, and she read to me
oeautituily. If you would only take a
lew lessons in reading instead of david
ing around with some old two-shilling
rug might have occasion to be proud
OF you"
Il nave been waiting for you to take
lessons III oratOry, Mr.. BowSer."
what: WHAT'S that! Be LITTLE
careful OF Your language, Mrs. Bowser!
may not be an orator, but | know
something about pronunciation. and
can read a short paragraph without get
tlhs my tongue twisted up in a hard
knot. Mrs, johnson also showed me
some OF her paintings"
docs she paint?"
Beautifully. She is one of the finest
artists III Michigan. Their parlor walls
are covered with her work, and She NAV
well feel proud of her talents. While
you nave been reading novels with your
Ola wrapper Cd, she has gone at it and
become an artist. She also showed me
some lancy tides which were just
hiNt hOlhCu Ill some deer
heads which were as natural as Iife.n
We'll, I'm sorry that haven't done
better" l said, as l pretended to wipe
away tear.
"Oh, you needn't cry over it. Mrs.
Bywser," he replied. All people can't
be alike, you know. Mrs. johnson han
pened to be gifted, while you are not.
GU are not TO blame for il. suppose
there are some men in this world SMART
er than l am"
do you really?"
wv eliT-,-ahem--well, was using that
IN an illustrative sense, Won knoWI
Don't feel bad, Mrs Bowser. There are
some good points about you, eveu if you
are not Smart.''
LII ABOUT week was ready for him.
l couldn't hope to "elocute'' success
fully in that brief time, but | hunted
around and found where Mrs. johnson
got the loan of the patterns for her
tides. L bought the originals out and
then found that all her paintings were
copies of paintings in the artists studio.
L hired three of the finest for week,
and one evening when Mr.. BoWser came
home to tea | said to him:
''Nlr. Bowser, L know I am thick
headed and wear No. shoes, and I
don't blame you for sometimes getting
discouraged with me-"
whats up now?' he asked, as he
looked around.
But, nevertheless, am not hone
less case" l continued. Il have two or
three tides and two or three paintings
l want to show you. 1t has been Sc
cret with me for many months, but [
know YOU forgive me TOR not giving
you hint"
Mrs. Bowser, have you gone mad
and-and-"
I'm afraid I'm not much of an artist,
but good critics have been pleased to
comment very favOrably upon nv work.
Come into the parlor. Mr.. Bowser."
eff you, We gone and made q fool of
yourself don't expect any praise from
me! What do you call those?"
"Iidies, my dear"
"Horse blankets, You mean! And
you've spoiled 'em, at that. So that's
the way you've wasted your time and
money, is it?''
Aren't they as nice as those you saw
at Mrs. Johnson's?"
"Humph! Is there any comparison
between rose and Hubbard squashw
"Well, what about my paintngs?'
"Paintingsl Oh, yes. You furnished
an old sheet, L suppose, and hired
house painter to lay on the colOrs. How
much did he charge per day?"
what is wrong with those pair tings,
Mr.. Bowser? Give me your criticism Of
this ocean sc ,ne."
us that what you call il? Well. who
ever saw water of that color? And look
at those cloudsl Why, nobody can say
whether they are clouds or tableclothS.
Mrs. Bowser, Pm sorry for you"
Anything wrong with that land
scape?''
us there anything right? The artist
who called that landscape, and who
took your money for learning you to
paint it ought to be in state PRISONS
isn't it as good as Mrs. JohnsOn'Sp
both eyes?'
IL hope not"
"Do live in cave, and do the owls
boot about my ears?'
''Of course not"
"Then don't take me for blind man
OF greenhorn. These paintings of Mrs.
JohnSon's are paintings. You see the
real artist i'll every touch. These are
simply daubs, and l doubt if you
could get tea store man to
give them away with pound
want to hurt your feelings, but some
one has imposed on your credulity.
After supper l will take those bur-
lesques down and carry 'em out behind
the pigpen."
After supper told him the true facts
in the case. He would not believe me
until he had paid another visit to john
sons, and until he had the word of the
artist, and then lie gave me one drawn
out look, which seemed to be composed
of bullets, bombshells and dynamite.
and went over and kissed the baby and
said:
"You poor little thing. how my heart
does bleed for you! What 4 dreadful
thing it is to be mOtherless."