Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-06-28
FORTY DOES IN ONE WAY.
How Carl Dunder Added Up the Doctors Or
der and Cured His Wife.

HOW CdrI Duuuef Auu6u up Tie DoclOfS Ur-
der and Cured His Wife.
"Maype you like to go into some speeula-
tion nit me" said Carl Dunder, as he went
down to see Sergeant Bendall yesterday.
'What have you got on hand!" was the
cautious Inquiry.
'VheIl, my wife vhas took seek, u1d I
call a doctor. He says it yhas bad case
and | shall gif Their medicine ten times a
day for four days.
"Wen?"
dot makes forty doses, chr"
"Yes."
"Und she vhas four days in bed?"
yes"
"Whell, I gift her dot forty doses in one
day ind she vhas cared. Dot safes three
days, dOan' it? Maybe Vhas an old
greenhorn ind doan' know some cab
bages, und MAYBE I vhasn't. Eli, Ser
gent.
"What else?"
"Vhell, two DAYS ago stranger comes
in my place. WAS 1 Carl Dun6er? |
vhas. All right. Mr.. Dunder, like you
TO make some money nit me. You vhas
good Teller, und like to see you a rich
man. In South America Wild horses vhas
only s. apiece. Dose same horses vhss
worth $75 in Detroit. Dot vhas a profit
of $40 on each horse. We go in and buy
thousand Wild horses. Dot vhas S70,-
600 for u.s."
"And you bit, of course?"
l doan' bite nobody. l dOan' know
dot man. He may pc all right, upd he
may pc rascal. So l doan' put in but
two hooneered dollars until l find oudt."
The Sergeant prOaned.
''But doan' depend on dot so very
mucb," continued Mr.. Dunder in a
r Elective way. Sergeant, vhas you my
friendt?"
GIVE tried TO be-"
''Vhell, belief dot, uud like to see you
some nabobs. | guess | let you into
some leetle secret dot makes US rich
two months. Dot vhas better as being
pOllcemans, chr"
EWhat is itP"
you'll keep quietF'
eyes"
"Una not say one word?"
"Not word"
''Yhell, she Vhas some natural gas"
whispered Mr.. Dunder as he bent over
the desk.
ga natural gas Well?"
"Where?"
eyes,"
"Ln my back yard she vhas discover
ed last Gaining"
"Mr. Dunder, I'm afraid not"
"Hey! Doan' l know nothing? Vhas
I always in der wrong?"
"Tell me about it,"
"Vell, yesterday afternoon a fne-look-
ing man comes softly i'll my place und
takes seat und doan' shpeak to nobody.
Poorly soon he begin to shmell und
shmell nit his nose, und believe he vhas
mad aboudt dot Limburger cheese in der
ice box. Bat no, en- a leedle time he calls
me oafer TO sit down ind says he doan'
know for certain, but MAYBE he like to
buy my place for $4,000. He like to look
in der yard first"
"Hump h!'
ooh, you keep shtill leedie. 1 took
him oudr, und he shmell all aroundt, und
poorly soon he shtop one place und shmell
mid all his might. Vnen ne gets oop he
takes me in one corner und SAYS he can
make us both rich in a month. I hat
some natural gass well in dot back
yard"
"And you gave him some money!"
"Vheil, we put in 500 apiece to de-
NoAOp uoO "0lN. II you coAu0 up tO-hOI-
row you can see him boring. I guess I
let you into der speculation. You was
always my freDdt und-"
The Sergeant arose, took Mr.. Dnnder
by the arm. and, leading him to the cor
ner, pointed down the river.
"Ds you mean 1 shall go oafer to Cana
da?"
mo, stop when you get half way"
"Und sink to der bostom?"
eyes"
"Because I vhas greenhorn?"
Eyes"
'Sergent, you go by Halifax! 1 doan'
come down no more! When you see me
go by IN my carriage nit drifer doan'
look at me, for shan't shpeak NIT you
l offer you some shances to be a nabob,
ind you Insult me. Dot eands me oop
Good-by."