Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1888-08-23
THE sowsER FAMILY
now MRS BoWser Got Even with Her Tn
considerate Lord and Master.

bowser is good man at heart. but he
has his peculiarities. Like all other
husbands he is bit selfish and incon-
sistent- When he came home one dav
last week and found me sick abed with
a swapping headache, he appeared
both surprised and indignant.
''What! you sickr' he shouted. inst
as If the female sex were made of cast
iron.
'.I-rve got headache, Mr.. Bow
ser.''
''Oh, you have? In order to upset
the house you have headache. Very
kind of YOU I was going over to
Green's tonight to have a game of
cards, but this headache comes Just in
time
''Can help itP"
''O course you can! Take proper
care of yourself and you'll never have
a headache. Look at me, Mrs. Bow
ser!''
''You may have one some day."
Eyes, may. Some day I may fill
my stomach with candy, lemonade,
green apples, raw turnip, ginger ale,
caramels and watermelon, and next
day 1 shall probably have headache.
It's wonder that any of you women
live to be thirty years old"
He went banging around the house
without a thought of me, and after
supper he came up stairs to say:
Being as you have deliberately
gone to work to bring a headache upon
yourself, and being as you had rather
be quiet this evening, think I'll run
down and fix up that matter with
Davis"
81 have an awful headache"
Certainly; but am to blameP Did
I advise you to eat turnips and cara
melsp"
at will be lonesome for me-"
"Bosh! Here's the baby and the
hired girl. Mrs. Bowser, you are get
ting to be a very silly, selfish woman.
/ wish you would have little more
dignity"
He went away, whistling as he clat-
tered down the front steps, and was
abed and asleep when he came home.
Morning brought me clear, cool
head, and Mr.. Bowser took occasion to
remark:
'Don't make an idiot of yourself
again. A woman of your age ought to
have some sense. Suppose had hung
you last nightp That headache would
probably have terminated in fever. :"
/ think Providence has an eye on
some husbands. / verify believe that
Providence picked up Mr.. Bowser's
trail as soon as he left the house, and
began to plan for revenge. He seemed
little 'soff'' when he came up to din
ner, and half an hour before his regu-
lar time for supper he came home with
his lip hanging down.
sWell, what is itp' queried.
This change of weather has affect
ed me-"
'.Noi Has there been a change; is
1t serious, Mr.. Bowser?"
''An awful! awful headache
''Is that all? you startled me for a
moment A headache, Ell? Well, you
shouldn't be SO careless"
who's been carelessp" he shouted,
putting up his hand at the same time
to see if the top of his head was really
loose.
I'm afraid you have. Soda water,
mint juleps, strong cigars, lager beer
and loss of sleep last night have upset
you A man of your age ought to
know better. Do you think your
stomach is dumping scow, Mr.. Bow
ser?"
He staggered over and fell upon the
lounge with a groan. l picked up
baby and galloped twice around the
sitting-room, singing and laughing.
when Mr.. Bowser rose up and yelled:
.sGreat cats! but are you insanep
Didn't / say had an awful headache?"
Yes, but you mustn't upset the
whole house on that account Mrs.
jackson was over to invite us to come
In this evening and play whist, and /
told her we'd come"
.Whist! Mrs. Bowser, do you know
that / am awful sick?"
-Bosh! Only a headache! Look at
me, Mr.. Bowser!''
He groaned.
ats a wonder that any of you men
live to be thirty years old. I'd like to
see a man-just one single specimen
who knew how to take care Of HIM
self"
Won't you-you get wet cloth and
put on my headP" he entreated.
Eyes, Isuppose I'll have to, but don't
let this happen again, Mr.. Bowser.
You must have known when you were
filling your stomach with that trash
what the result would be-"
He thought was done with him
when tied towel around his head,
but wasn't.
being as you have malicieusly and
wilfully gone to work to bring on this
headache, which doesn't amount to
shucks, and being as the best remedy for
headache is quietness, think I'll take
the baby and spend the evening at
mother'sr'
Great guns! but you wouldn't do
thatP" he gasped.
..Mr. Bowser, don't be so soft! You
will be all right in the morning"
..But don't go! may want the doc
tor. I don't know but what I'm dying
now!"
I had him badly scared, and so de-
cided to stay, but ! wasn't through
with him yet went to the telephone