Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-12-06
WHAT Is A GENTLEMAN?
Is 1t Reality or Veneer?
From the San Francisco Arronaut.

most fruitless. Every ones idea has the same
root and different branches A Frenchman's
gentleman and an Englishman's gentleman are
very fine things Of their kind and yet they are
essentially different in style. In this country
the so-called sweeping aside Of all class dis.
tinctions, instead of simplifying EATERS. has
hopelessly involved them. You are ALWAYS
coming in contact with people whose views are az
wide asunder as the poles, and who are ready
to fight TO the death for their own pet theories
was once at dinner party where a girl and a
man undertook to argue on the topic of what
made a gentleman, and their social instinct
alone preserved them from letting the argu-
ment degenerate into open war. The girl was
an intelligent western creation. very viyaciouE
and practical, alert, smart, quick as lightning
with sort OF quiet, sarcastic humor She be-
heved in natures nobleman, in the untutored
son of the prairie, whose nobility of soul gives
him nobility of action. She argued:
Having refinement of thought, being I'M
able to commit wicked or selfish action,
always endeavoring to help some one else--but,
from life of seclusion. being unlearned in the
arts of society, not understanding the esoteric
mystery of the fsh-knife or the fnger-bowls,
as likely as not to drink out of the latter-there
Is the man. Is he gentleman?"
Certainly not" said her antagonist with
placid conviction; ''he is a fine, splendid fell
low-give him chance and he will be a hero.
But all the same he is not gentleman"
This young man was an agreeable and attrac-
tive type OF good-class New Yorker. He was
an amusing fellow, well-mannered, lazy, in
clined to think himself a great and glorious
luminary, moderately selfish, moderately kind
to his sisters, condescendingly polite to his
lady-loves, lovingly respectful to his mother.
He had courtly but unaffected manners, and
was handsome and well dressed. He thought
there was no place fit to live in this country
but his own metropolis. His ideas Of gentle
men were similar to those voiced by Bertrams
servant: my master has been an honorable
gentleman; tricks he hath in him which gen.
tlemen have"
He argued that no man could be a gentleman
unless conversant with the smallest laws laid
down by society. He might break the COM
mandments-all but stealing-and if his man
ners were unimpeachable he would still be a
gentleman.
my gentleman's merely matter of veneer, {"
said he, generously. Hes all on the surface"
The young lady was in a rage, but hid it with
skill which, according to her opponents
ideas, would have set her forever in the ra-
diant GALAXY of perfect gentlemen had she had
the fortune to be a man.
And yours is all below the surface. dare
say-in fact, of course-your ideal is by far the
noblest; but you will see that mine is the most
generally accepted and the most practical
Your natures nObleman is all very well on his
prairie, but what would you think of him if
you saw him in ball-room?"
Il suppose genius who wore his hair long
and ate his vegetables off knife wouldn't be
gentleman
''Oh, no." cheerily; "geniuses rarely are"
Then a dudes gentleman
Sometimes; not always"
The hostess, alarmed, here interfered
Il think" said she, 'if you could strike a
medium, you could strike what you are looking
for. Your ideas are greatly exaggerated. In
the west they are too prone to call man who
washes his hands before dinner dude and in
the east one who is not conversant with the
fluctuations in the fashions of shirt-studs
tough happy medium is the thing"
Outside the ever-dissatisfy wing gentleman ar
gument, one is perpetually being met with the
question; what constitutes good mannersS"
The sage of Concord has it that good man.
ners are made up of petty sacrifices" And
Dickens says somewhere: Il take it that nv
business in the social system is to be agreeable:
take it that everybody's business in the social
system is to be agreeable" This is hard COM
mon sense, and combined with Emerson's and
practically applied, ought to result in most
perfect manners. gentleman once said,
while talking of the manners of a beautiful
and charming woman: ''She is the most per-
feet lady 1 ever saw. She makes you feel so
exquisitely well-pleased with yourself You
leave her thinking yourself a hero, and she
divinity for having discovered it. The woman
who In a crowded room puts most people at
their ease has certainly the most agreeable
manners"
ne Went OH tO say tndt ne tnOught the IOveIv
lady In one OF Mrs. Burnetts books, who at
crowded and fashionable Washington recep-
ton devoted herself to a clumsy, bashful boy
seeking to put him at his ease and make him
enjoy himself, was fit to fall in love with
on the spot.
You get SO few young women to do that"
he said. they all want to get into corners with
the best-looking men. But here was beauti-
ful and attractive woman, who, seeing gawky,
awkward, bashful boy standing in misery at
the door, laid herself out to amuse him and set
him at ease. know Just how he felt, for was
a gawky, awkward boy myself"
The art of making people pleased with them
selves emanates from the French. whose man.
ners are undoubtedly the most gracious and
highly finished. Even the French-Canadian
VIC women have this peculiar charm of address.
There was woman in Quebec. whom once
knew, who had been and was still a great belle
She had lovers beyond number And why2
She made them all believe-it was a manner
ism, too, she could not help it-that they were
the most absolutely captivating creatures in
the world. They came from her presence
bridling, proud. and happy. And she was a
hldeously ugly woman and neither wit nor a
gossip.
This was Mrs. Potter charm before the days
OF theatrical ambition. Mrs. Potter enjoyed a
unique popularity throughout New York She
spread over innumerable sets; from the oldest
knickerbocker to the gayest psrvenu coteries
she was welcome. She was not an unselfish
nor lovable woman; she was not beautiful
and not brilliant; but she was possessed of the
most happily tattering manners and amiable
temper. Some girls met her on that illustrious
and lll-inspired Washington visit.
We'll" cried their friends, land is she so
lovely?"
Its her manners, nv dear. She casts a
glamour round you, draws you up to her as if
she was cuttle-fish and had you gripped in
her feelers. The comparison is not poetic, but
it's true. She thanks the waiter who brings
her glass OF water with Just as fascinating a
smile as that with which she greets a foreign
minister"
Mrs. Potter's manners eventually became
quite celebrated. There were always people to
decry them and wonder loud in public places
wherein lay the charm. 1t lay simply in the
fact that the lady was responsive and never
looked bored. She had the talent of being
pleased, or appearing pleased-which amounts
to the same thing. To look bored may be styl-
ish, but it certainly is not fattering to ones
companion. A cast-iron dude is the only per-
son who will stand it for long.
An Heroic Girl.
From the New York Sun
George, DEAR" she said, with a pleading
Amelie Rives look upon her face, ''surely YOU
are not going thus early? Have you ceased to
love me?'
mo, darling, my love for you is as rock; it
wiii endure" George replied with emotion;
put early, why, it is after 1 o'clock, and''
dropping heavily into chairl "the boss SAYS
tnat II the store isn't open and the steps washed
down hereafter at O'Clock lose my job"