Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1888-12-08
THE OLD KICKER.

way no pouhueu MS Saho v" N'S
walk the passengers already on Tho
car knew that he had something on
his mind. and that he would entertain
the car loud of citizens all the way
down town. The car was full. and tho
passengers decided to let thu old kicker
stand up in the aisle. whore he could
hold on to a strap and address them
as he would In the Roman forum. He
climbed on the hind end of the car.
frowned at young fellow who was
smoking cigarette. got Whit OF =
five cent cigar and an old back
number pipe which were being smoked
by seedy looking fellows smelled some
Limberger cheese in tin pail OF lunch
belonging to sewer digger, got Ia the
car and walked over the feet of several
passengers. put his nickel in the slot
to see the driver whack mule. turned
around towards the passengers, caught
hold of strap. and said:
'srhis is helofacountry."
Every passenger who knew the old
! kicker. knew he was going to say
something Of that kind to open the
conversation, and when he gave vent
to his feelings in that way, everyb body
laughed right out loud. which made
the kicker so mad that he jammed bis
cane down on the floor on to his own
toes. After he had swore little at
every body, the board of trade mnn
noticed swelling on the face OF the
kicker. and said:
whats the matter with this coun-
try9 What you got to grumbe about?
What's the matter with your face?n
The old kicker looked hurt and after
controlling his emotion he said:
Gentlemen, / leave it to you who
know me, il am chronic grumbler.
as my friend, the heat. gambler,
would intimate. ] have always been
inclined to look on tbs bright side OF
things, but there are times vie tho
gentlest disposition and L Q most an
gelic temper will be rutIls,.. GouLle-
men. | had thing occur TO mo that has
made my American blood boil aud
caused me to wonder whether We aro
living in the United States or Europe.
Recently my wife engaged two ssrv.
.aats, end / wo..lla not ratify the ar.
langement until there was thorough
understanding that the girls would not
under any circumstances have beaux
come to sec them. /. was understood
that no male friend should appear IN
the kitchen. and IL there was any
sparkling to be done II should DO In tho
park on the lake shore. Well, | knew
they couldn't live up to the agreement.
but they promised, aud all could do
was TO wait The other night my 70
and me did not get back from Chicago
till after midnight. We had said We
would not be back till the next day.
The moment entered the house
'smelled woolen,'' as the saving Is.
There was an odor Of dinner coming
from the back part OF the house. and
as we assembled the stairs there was a
noise OF male and female laughter. !
ana scuftling and squealing. and several
persons talking at once in a foreign
language. My wife wanted me 10 90
right to bed. and not at
tempt to qucll the riot. She
said the best way was to let nature
take its course. but knew il nature
took its course there wouldn't b. a
thing left in the house to eat, aud that 4
The girls would get Rugged so they
get up in the morning. so |
told my wife | would b. calm. but
hat was going 70 break no that
''swarry," and | went out in tile hall |
and pushed bicycle and lot of tin /
helmets the boys had been playing sol.
iier with, down the back stairs. There
never was such noise before IN n
rouse, and / heard the kitchen door
open and the crowd went out in tho
pack yard, and began to climb the
pack fence like cats. Then went
Town in the kitchen. and so help me.
he table was set for eight persons.
md there was finer spread than we
Isually have on our own table. There
vas also a policeman's helmet on n
hair, and policeman's club standing
Up in the corner Of the sink. | sat
Iown at the table aud began to carve
cast chicken. as was quite hungry.
opened bottle of wine and was
making myself at home, when the po-
ceman cane in and arrested me for
burglar. Yes sir, he said he was
'alking his beat outside. when some
Dung ladies came rushing out and
Did him there was burglar in tho
ouse, and took me by the coat and
ragged me out in the back yard.
nocked me down and sat ON me. and
PRESENTLY several other men came over
ne fence and helped him. | tried 10
kplain who | was, but the policeman
ould not hear word. and the other
slows wanted to jump on mo with
leir heels. The policeman sent ono