davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1888-10-26
OF THINGS.

h is a soft Of topsy-turvey world. No
one seems to be satisfied. One man is
struggling to get justice and another is fly
ing from it.
One man is saving up to buy a house and
another is trying to sell his dwelling for
less than it cost, to get rid of it.
One mar is spending all the money he
can earn in taking a girl to the theatre and
sending her flowers, in the hope that he
may eventually make her his wife, and his
%neighbor is spending all the gold he has
saved to get a divorce.
Smith is drinking imported ale to put
flesh on, while Johnson is living on crack
ers and walking ten miles a day to reduce
his avoirdupois.
The laborer with ten children keeps out
of debt IN so a week, while many an un-
married bank official with a hundred a
week can't get along without helping him
self to the banks funds.
Robinson takes a sherry to give him an
appetite, while Brown, who has a wine
cellar, can't touch a drop of it on account
of his apoplectic tendencies.
The doctor tells Morrill, that ifhe doesn't
stop work and take a rest, he'll 90 into a
decline, and then tells Blakely hat if he
does not abandon his sedentary position
and go off somewhere and work on a farm
he will die of torpidity of the liver.
One man is ordered to eat eggs because
they are nutritious, and another is ordered
to leave them alone because they produce
bile.
One man keeps a pistol to protect him
self against burglars, while his neighbor
doesn't keep one for fear of shooting some
member Of the house by mistake.
You will sometimes see a man planting
trees around his place for the shade. and.
at the same time yon will see another cut
ting down all the trees around his house
because they produce too much moisture.
One man wears poor clothes because he
is rich and can wear anything, while a
poor man wears fine clothes because he is
poor and wants to create the impression
tLRS AC - EOS-
One man is killed by accident and an
other tries to commit suicide and fails.
One man escapes all the diseases that
flesh is heir to and is killed on the railroad;
another man goes through half-a-dozen
wars without a scratch and dies of whoop-
ing cough.
The prize fighter reforms and becomes a
preacher, while the theological student
leaves his university to become a profess
sional base ball pitcher.
The man who can make twenty thousand
dollars a year as a general thing can't save
a cent, while the man who is thrifty and
wise is seldom so gifted that he can earn
anything at all.
We knows wealthy merchant who keeps
half a dozen horses, who recently stated
that his store was closed on account of a
"holiday," and we also know a proof-read-
er who can spell every word in the English
language correctly, and the only time he
experiences any horse is when lie eats
horse-radish.
Good people die and bad people live.
The man who is fat with health can't get
employment, and the man who is making
money hand-over- fist has to give up business
on account of ill-health.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1888-10-26
FAMILIAR QUEsTIOxs.

While on business in the office of a Park
Row printing house the other day, a thin,
tired looking man entered, and approach
ing the proprietor, said:
81 want to have a list printed; suppose
you write it down as l tell you"
The proprietor made ready, and the man
said:
Eyes, I'm sure | locked the front door,
Have you got tbat?"
eyes; but / don't understand"
'Never mind. Don't interrupt me till l
finish. Are you ready.
eyes"
81 turned out the lights in the bath
room"
"All right, I've got it,"
"The kitchen windows are fastened"
Yes
THE dog is in the cellar"
"Yes.'
81 did not forget to put ashes on the
furnace fire.
Yes"
THE servants are all IN"
eyes"
s'The stable door is locked"
Eyes
mo; the water is not running in the
bath room."
eyes"
"The kitten is out DOORS
eyes"
81 turned off the drafts of the range"
Yes"
"No; I do not smell smoke"
eyes"
81 do not think l hear any one trying to
get into the house,
eyes"
"No; that is not our dog barking, it's
the one next door"
Yes
cts not necessary to go down and see
if the cellar door is fastened; l know it isl
eyes"
THAT is nobody; only the wind rafting
the shutters"
"Yes."
swell, l think that's about all. You
see my wife asks me those questions every
blessed night just as | am getting into bed,
and if I had a printed list l could show to
her, it would save lots Of trouble, and be-
sides that it Injuries my lungs to answer
them. Have the list as soon as possible,
please. r-Earth.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1888-10-26
An Ew MALADY AMONG SMOKERS.

A malady Of recent appearance among
smokers has been dubbed the cigarette
eye According to an o%culist, the best
authorities were for a time at a loss in un-
Outstanding this disease, but have at
length decided that its origin lies in the
cigarette. The symptoms are dimness and
a film-like gathering over the eye which
appears and disappears at intervals, and
is not relieved by s~pectacles. Only a long
course of treatment cures this dangerous
trouble.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1888-10-26
Hone, Hope!

There never was a goose so gray,
But some day, soon or late,
An honest gander came that way
And took her for his mate.
There is hope, and health and comfort for
our wives, our mothers, our sisters and our
daughters in the New Davis Vertical Feed
Sewing Machine. 1t is the iightest running,
the simplest contracted, the easiest compre-
hended, ana the most durable. 1t brings light
t, the eye, color TO the cheek, elasticity and
life, Joy and prosperity TO every household.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1888-10-26

PRAISE not the day before the evening
glow. You may praise Warmers Log Cab
in %Sarsaparilla for purifying the blood
without danger for it brings the glow OF
health at once. The largest bottle on the
market. 100 doses for 81. 90. All druggists
sell it.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1888-10-26

sit is all over town. said the Arab.
NWhat ~ asked the old man, his eyebrows
bristling with curiosity. Mud said the
~youngster. while his mouth went clear
around his ears in a grin. Right you
are, = said the old man. With the mud
come colds and coughs. and you know the
remedy" "Dr. Bulls Cough syrup re-
Joined the boy. Right You are again.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1888-10-26

To-day is important. Yesterday has
gone. Tomorrow never comes, Take
care Of your cough to-day by using War
ner's Log Cabin Cough and Consumption
Remedy. 1t is a sure care
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1888-10-26

their homes, and saow 10 those who call, q complies line ofoar
yatnalie and very useful HOUSEHOLD sANA.lEs.
Trhas. saa,nies as well as the watch, we send free,and alter you
fave k,rf them in your home for = months and shown them
tothose no may have called, they become your own property
IL 81 possible 70 make this great otter, sending the SOLD
Gslxsb watch and CssSRN samples nee, as the showingo
.IeeaTnlos IA any locality, always results In a large trade for
II aftsF our sginplas have been in a locality for month ortwo
ye usually get nom $4,000 to $4,000 IN trane rom mo
surrounding country. This, the most wonieFtni oner ever
known, is made IN order shat our samples may = placel : : oneS
~9n.ra f.. can he seen. all over America. Write at once, ana
make sure af the chance. Reader 1t will be hardly any trouble
~ Il "a show theaamples to those who may can AZ your homo
ma y5af reward viii he most satisfactory. Apostai carr on
vhich % write Jus costs but | cent and after sou know ILL you
NJ I'M rara - 20 further, why no harm Ia done. But II youao
senl vaur address at once, yen can secure r. ri. one el 1ns
,a~f s,ift goit watched ia the world and our large nhsot
%oSKTS SAMPLES. We pay all express, freight eto.
.a5rsss GEO, SllNsoN = CO. boa tl2, fuRtLANp, hAiNA
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1888-10-26

1t seems to us that there are less persons
afflicted with rheumatism, since our drug
gists sell Salvation Oil. Price twenty-five
cents q bottle.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1888-10-26

MoPIsS> LOG CABINS are not re-
r. HM commended as model habit
~ A+SSwA ations for modern people.
yrS-lIBut Warmers Log Cabin
AEIA1W ~Sarsaparilla and Warmers
Ns ~ 'sTippecanoe" are the SIM
SsSs Pile but effective compounds
which enabled the rugged pioneers to main
tain health, and can be safely recom-
mended to all.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1888-10-26

If You want the celebrated "Reeve" or
Lester boots, go to the New Store under
he Opera House.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1888-10-26
E. A. URION.

If you have any need for dishes see our
immense stock before you buy. We have
nearly all kinds, E. B. Humphreys &Co.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1888-08-11
LATEST NEWS.

THE State Convention of the Connecticut
Prohbitonists met at Hartford and adopted
resolutions reaffirming allegiance to the Ma
tonal Prohibition party and its candidates,
endorsing woman's suffrage and demanding
the abolition of the internal revenue tax on
liquors by the immediate prohibition of the
traffic A full State ticket was placed in the
field headed by Hiram Cook, of New Haven,
for Governor.
THE house of Richard W. Horn, at Lake
Michigan, n Y, has been burned and Henry
Haight Mr.. Horns grandfather, eighty-five
years cd, persisted in the flames.
CHARLES, alias "Blinky" Morgan, the
Ravenna fur robber who murdered Detective
Hulligan at Cleveland has been hanged in
the Penitentiary at Columbus, Ohio.
Mrs. LAURA CaUL1 an inmate of the in
sane asylum at Anchorage, Ky, jumped into
bathtub filled with boiling water, and de-
liberately scalled herself TO death.
CHRISTIAN BoNEcUTrER and his brother
Henry hal quarrel at Point Pleasant, W.
Va, during dance. Henry Killed Christian'
dashing bis brains out.
THE receipts of the Government for July
were: From customs, sl9,49s, 259 internal
revenue 1852, seS; miscellaneous, S22,l5s,Sl+
Coinage at United States minis during the
same period was 2,SO.,OO1 pieces, having a
total vau, of IS, $50, 56O and inclu ling l,2Ss,-
OO) standard silver dollars. Total gold
minted. 81, l5?O)o; total silver coins minted
81, .O1O; total minor coins, $3.50 The
reduction of the public debt during July was
81, lST, 1908. Total cash in the Treasury,
s64G, l2S,SG7.
A BAND of pirates in the province of Cal
phong, China, which has held its fastness
since 1893 in recent engagements lost nineteen
killed and had a considerable number
wounded.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1888-08-11

would scarcely have heard the noise
less football of one WHO had been
tracking the tiger and the antelope
through their native jungles ever
since he was ten years old. Therogue
was still nnsuspicious OF harm, when
II tall, shadowy figure rose behind
him as suddenly us lit had started up
through the earth, and u tremendous
blow from a heavy bamboo club, fall
ing upon his bowed head like thun-
derbolt, felled him sensclcss to the
earth.
That very night the crestfallen
robbcr was sent off to the nearest
British station, escorted by strong
guard Of native policemen, to be tried
and executed, us he deserved, Willie
lsmail received from the hands Of the
Commissioner himself, together with a
warm commentator of his shrewd-
ness, the thousand rupees which lie
had so well earned.-Dacid Ker IN
the Continent.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1888-08-11
A Rml.ied Citu.

A buried village has been found by
the Hon. Amato Chaves a mile from
his home, near Socorro, New Mexico.
Mr. Chaves writes to the Santa Fe
Rerieao: lit is built of stone. The
outer walls are three feet wide, and
the city is large enough to have ac-
commodated three thousand souls. l
have already cleared four rooms in
the upper story, and two on the first
floor of one house. The dimensions of
the irst-floor room just finished are
1lx12 feet, while from llocr to ceiling
the distance is about fifteen feet. The
village is almost square, and this build
ing is situated at the northwest cor
ner. Tho large room has a large
door leading to the outside Of tile
wall, but no windows whatever. In
this room found the skeleton of a
girl The hair is in perfect state of
preservation; it is fine, and Of chest
nut color. also find there string
of fine coral beads, one. Of turquoise
beads, another of long ivory beads, and
a ring set with black stone, on top
of which is black turquoise. AL the
tiInbers of the roof are burned to a
char. I have arrived at the door
which appears to lead to inner rooms,
and am full of curiosity to open it,
but the second floor is only supported
by The stones and debris about the
door, and should 1 attempt TO remove
! these, the upper story will tumble in
I and fill up the lower rooms. just clean
led out, with mass of stone, charred
climbers, and DEBRIS
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1888-08-11
A $4,000 TROTTER.
A Renowned Young Stallion Sold
in kentucky.

A Renowned Young Stallion Soid
in Kentucky.
The renowned young trotting stallion Bell
Boy has been sold at Maple Ridge Farm, near
Lexington, KY, at auction for $50, Ooo. Inc
sale was made to close a partnership IN the
horse which was owned by Mr.. c. G: Sea
man. of San Diego, Cal, and 7 lomas JeIer-
son. of Kentucky. A large crowd OF morse
men from all parts of the country was Prs:Si
emit, but only two men engaged IN she p DO
ding. Mr.. John S. Clark OF Elnilra; y. L.,
started the horse at 1000, Mr. Seaman
raised him $40, OOl. From that on siooo bl 20
came fast and furious until Seaman BID sio,
OOO. Then D[r. Clark bid 500 better, ana M
bids of the latter amount were the order I'LL
Mr.. Seaman bid $4,000, when Alr. Clark
only raised it $780, Mr.. Seanan's next oia
wos $50 600, and there being no advance,
Captain Phil c. Kidd, the auatloneer,
Knocked the horse down to MIR. Seaman at
the highest price ever paid for horse al
auction in America. -..
Bell Boy is three years old, by Elecitioneer,
dam Beautiful Bells. BY The Moor. lie has
two-year-od record of 2:26.
Mr.. Seaman will place Bell Boy ID the
hands of Mike Bowerman,o of Lexington, Ay.'
to be trained for the falls campaign.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1888-08-11
ROBERT NJ. O'REILLY,
o., TT...1,l C+otoe ,,,-
Surgeon United STATES Army.
WASHINGTON MATTHEWS,
Assistant-Surgeon United States Army.
Sketch Of His Life.


General Phillip Henry Sheridan was born
in Somerset, Ohio, on March q, 1851. in a
house That is still standing near Columbus
street in that town. His parents were Irish,
and had come to America three years before
his b nth. He began to earn living for
himsef in 1871 as q clerk Ill dry goods
store.
He got on well till he read that there was q
vacancy at West Point from the Somerset
strict. So lie sat down, without asking any
body,s advice. and wrote General Ritch:e. the
Congressman, a plain homely application.
The General knew the Sheridans well, and SO
Phil went to West Point in 1s4s. 1t took him
five years to graduate, because lie was
dropped year for thrashIns an upper class
mate.
He received his commission as brevet sec
ond lieutenant July i, 1885, and soon after
ward was seat to Texas. In 1879 ne began
his active life as soldier, having been
ordered to the Pacific coast to take part IN
The campaign against the Yakima Indians
in Washington Territory.
at the battle Of til Cascades, March 20.
1S5l;. he gave his first evidence OF that mill
tary genius which aftcrwartl made his name
conspicuous among the leading captains or
tEe worlds history. The Indians had at
ia sed tile block-lcCse at the Cascades OF the
Columbia and the force within, although
outnumter:d and hard pressed. held out.
Sheridan led the advance OF the force and
rescued the bceagured garrison.
In the meantime he had been promoter 70
the rank of Captain. receiving his comn'ls
sion Mt Yarn Hiil in Oregon. In tho fall CT
1871. as Captain of Che Thirteenth infantry,
he was ordered from the Northwest 70 IN
Southwest. anil then was assigned to the 20
ssion of Chief Qnartermaster OF Tiie A a.
Of Southwest 6Iissouri. In tie Pea Ridge
campaign he had charge of the tranSporta
ton and supplies, and took no active part III
TIL engagement.
Then Sheridan went away to the Corlntl'
c,n:paign as quartermnster to General Hal
lcck. Finally the Governor of Michigan gave
him his first fair chance to develop ms hsne
ing qu,liti $ by making him q Coiohei Oh tne
Second cavalry of that State.
Sherdau's earliest exploits as Colonel OF
en-, Second Michigan Cavalry occurred thre.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1888-08-11
A GREAT CORN CROP.
An Estimated Yield This Year
of 1900, 100000 Bushels.
An Increase of $40, 900, 900 Bush
els Over Last Year.

The Importance of tie corn crop in It's
effect upon tho prosperity Of the country is
often lost sight of in considering the value OF
our wheat crop. The fact is, says New
York paper, that the latter cuts but small
figure as compared with the former. The
relative value of corn or wheat per bushel is
now about so to 60 cents. The wheat
yield this year may be roughly estl-
mated at 490,000, 900 bushels, worth, say,
*37S, 100000 The yield of corn will prob
say, 81, ZOO 900, 900. These figures show the
relative Importance of the two crops. Again,
it should be remembered that the average
yield of corn per acre is from twenty-five to
twenty-five bushels, while wheat averages
about twelve bushels. At the prices which
have been ruling recently the value OF corn
per acre will average about sl2, while wheag-
Corn is therefore by far more Important
crop than wheat, and the excellent prospect
OF q big corn crop this year is one of the most
favorable features of the cropsituetion. Dur
ing the past week there has been the same
favorable conditions affecting corn that have
been noticed for several weeks. The Cincln-
uati Prtcc Current says:
with sutiiciency OF moisture and season.
able conditions otherwise for few weeks.
the crop may be confidently expected to equal
the production in 1883, or to exceed it; in That
year the area was about $500, QUO acres less
than planted this season, according to lndl-
cation of official estimates, and yielded an
average of 26Jl bushels per acre for the en-
tire country This SEASONS gain in area,
compared with 1855, is greater in the South
than in the Western group of corn-ralslnS
Statcs-the latter representing about 100000
acres, or about ] x per cent, and i, the former
1,Gg0, 0c0 acres or ~ per cent The present
outlook appears to be for a crop OF about
1850 O0O, 700 bushels, on continuance of favor
able conditions
Taking the area of the corn crop har-
vested in lSSjan application of the estimates
of the different States as reported BY the
department of Agriculture in July, 1857, re-
suited in about 77,9S5,t00 acres, as represent
ng last years planting The returns of area
harvested are stated as 1882, 72O acres, or
5,:5.2, 900 acres less than were planted. APP
plying the estimates of this years planting
to harvested area in 1887, the indicated
y antinc this season is -, 400 600 acres gain
of 8 ,037 COO acres compared with last years
crop harvested, but q decrease of 2,535, 0Oo
acres compared with last years planting"
With q view Of showing the indicated area
of corn planted and harvested last year,
compared with this years estimated plant
ing, ia leading States and for other portions
of the country, the Price Current submits
the following compilation:
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1888-08-11
Some Day of Days.

Some Day OF Days.
Some day, some day Of days, threading the
street
With idle, needless pace,
Unlocking for such grace,
>hull behold your face!
Some day, some dizzy OF dnys, thus mny :fe
meet.
rerchanco the sun may slime from skies OF
May,
Or winters icy chill
Touch Whitley vale and hill;
Whit muttel? shall Thrill
Through every vein with summer on that
duy.
Once moro lifcs perfect youth will all como
back,
Aud fora momentthore
shull stand fresh aud lnir
And drop tho garment care;
Once more my perfect youth shall nothing
luck.
shut my eyes now, thinking how twill be,
How, incc to lace, each soul
Will slip its long control,
Forget the dismal dole
OF deary fate dark, separating sea;
And glance to g'nncc, and hand 10 hand in
greeting,
The past. with all lis icnrs,
Ito silence md lis tenrs
It's lonely, yenrning years,
Shall vanish in the moment oc that meeting.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1888-08-11

Total -. 81, 451, 40 As, l96, APO @,5s6,s0o
Southern
States, u. pa, 276, 800 % 993, 75o 23ooS, lfo
~. 1870. 2,7a5,5ao a,Gez4aS a,e7a,lso
New England ,,oo,u ocoo,-
States. $50. 264.3l0 2E5,Jlt Soo, 20
Others. -. :. 269,l7O 26J, l91 100000
acres II, 1885, 500 1880, 72O rs, 43O, 400
The area planted this year is about $780,,
600 acres greater than the acreage harvested
in 1855, and the present outlook indicates
that the acreage harvested this year will be
in excess of that of 1885. In that year the
yield was 1886, 10000 bushels, and barring
Unforeseen mshaps, there is little doubt that
the yield this year will be larger than that
of 1855, and we will not be surprised should uad
bushels. This will furnish big business for
the railroads, for it will mean an increase of
more than 540,O0O,0 600 bushels over last year.