St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1888-07-14
THE RICHEST AMERICAN.
a Modern English Craze as Described by o
London Paper.

, we ned really got qulIe III OF II
and that must be our excuse for tellin!
you about it. 1t first took us when tn
financial panics were on in Americ
lately; it was then that we read ST
many pars about the fearful losses ant
the absolute ruin suffered by the Rich
est Man in America; and we read abou
these thir:ys until we had grown quit
absorbed by the subject.
We felt a craving-a yearning /;
gnawing-to see and touch and speak
with the Richest Man in America, t.
stare at his silver statues and his car
pets interviewer with threads of gold
and we took passage for New York ir
the Brixtonia.
AS we landed on the quay an excited
bystander took us by the button hole
and drew us feverishly aside. ''See
that homely-looking man way along
there, passin' under the elevator,
stranger?" he whispered hurriedly, and
with Unsurpassed emotion; ''wall,
then, you see the richest man in Amer
lea! Came over twelve years since from
down Kansas way, whar he was raised;
hadn't nickel; struck in notion for
a corner in baked beans, and raked in
| 100000 in nine weeks, and eats
terrapin tarts fried in humming birds
fat to every meal,''
We had found him, then! Breathless
with excitement we followed him along
the quay and streets, observing him at
tentively He had wooden leg and
one button off the back of his coat, a
large mole on the back edge of his right
ear, and gray felt hat with green
| lining. He entered a dining saloon,
and we eagerly took seat opposite
him; he had one wall eye and one blood
| shot one, seven front teeth out and
black and yellow necktie.
Presently he engaged our attention
by excitedly kicking us under the ta-
BILE.
See that stout man coasting around
the ice bucket?" he asked. breathlessly.
'Whaat? Well, you take it from me
that's Richest Man in Amurriker, bar
none. Started nine years ago as as
sistant odd job hand to a toothpick
sorter down Five Points, and struck
twenty thousand million dollars in
seven weeks, and eats gold dust sauce
with his trutfied ostrich every break
fast!'
We had found him, then! We burst
away from the dining saloon, and rushed
after the party indicated. He had lost
both ears from frost-bite,' and had one
shoulder four inches higher than the
other, and a green cut-away coat patched |
with sacking. He had not gone three
blocks when he turned suddenly in the
utmost excitement and gripped us by
the arm.
''See that fence rail of crittur with |
the respirator, stannin' by the fire
alarm?" he asked. You bet that's the |
the richest man in Amurrucky, so he is,
boss! When down Frisco way, with
out a ag on his back six years come
next Independence, and banked $50, OO0,-
100000 in five weeks. Sleeps in bed
stead cut out of a single diamond and
sends his boots to be heeled wrapped in
million dollar bills?''
We thought we couldn't follow that
man; he had hare-lip, and pants made
out of old carpet; but we abandoned
him, and inquired of hotel clerk, who
was the best authority in New York, on
the subject of the richest man in Amer
lea. The clerk told us to go to the edi-
Tor of the Spread Eagle, in 979th
street, over the Naphtha drinking sa-
oOn...
1--WE hear" we said, ''that you, sir,
ire an authority in the matter of the
Richest Man in American
'I'll tell you about him right away"
said the editor. IN give you the out
ines of him; and then you can buy
lie of the special editions of the Spread
Eagle, which have three columns de-
'oted to him daily. The rlcnest man
n American, sir, is Groulter @. Van
,oom, who set out from Grubsquash
;ity, Kan, with five cents sewn into
he heel of his boots, and coffered forty
million dollars in three
7eeks. He was the man that erased
Elisha J. Vennerhezzet over the White
Daylight Cherubs Blush Silver Syndi-
ate Boom, down Groggs Country, Cal,
then Elisha was prospecting way down
here, and Elisha is now the richest I
IAN in America. It was he who came, /
ne mean thing, upon Chaldaa V. /,
lo0bder, about the cotton-oil scare +,
ou've heard tell of Chaldaa V. Bloob- ]
er, the richest man in America? Why
was about that man that Silas j.
ecker, the richest man of America,
sed to say t
Then we left, and slowly cooled {
own toward the richest man in Ameri- '
!. Then we took on tracking down i
lie Tallest Thing in Railway Swindles
nd the Quickest Grown Out West f
ity, and we are on the track of u
ne of each of them.-Londo Fun. t
Wrecked by His Support. =
s'You don't seem as well pleased to.
"a me q Won opao Tro,,n c,:,7 h