The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1888-05-19
Becoming One Flesh.

from the baltimore Sun.
Husbands and wives who are fairly well
mated generally grow to each others ways,
so that in the course of time they live to-
gether peaceably and contentedly, one or
the other or both yielding to the compan-
ions whims, tastes or prejudices, to avoid
dissensions. During the process of this
mutual accommodation and growth, which
may extend over long series of years,
there is a serious risk that it may be ar
rested by decay of that affection which
inspires it, or that in accomplishing the
harmony husband and wife may be obliged
to yield more than is fair, so that in the
end the couple, instead of being on terms
of equality as husband and wife should be,
stand in the relation of subject and master.
Newly welded couples seldom think of the
future being anything different from the
present, when the sole thought of each is
the pleasure Of the other, when each is
ready and even anxious to make sacrifices
at the shrine of love. They cannot forsee
that though the affection may be lasting,
the modes of its manifestation accommodate
themselves to changed relations, nor that
the growth of family, the increase of
business duties and other natural changes
in their environment will gradually alter
their habits of life, and perhaps drift them
apart from each other, unless each gives
thoughtful consideration to the duties of
the married station. 1t is assumed their
love for each other continues; that though
less fervid in its manifestations than during
the honeymoon, it is really stronger, be-
cause more firmly rooted in respect, and
based on surer knowledge of character than
that which was first awakened by an evan
escent charm of person or of manner, and
yet in spite of this greater and better love
the husband may become careless and in
considerate, so absorbed in business OF his
personal amusements as to bring concealed
grief to the heart of his faithful wife.
Many husbands, unconscious of such ne
gleet of duty, would be surprised if accused
of it, and respond that they worked hard
for their families. economical to lay up
fortune to care for them, supplied their
wives with all that they could reasonably
ask for the support of the household, and
generally conducted themselves as faithful
husbands should do. Yet if they should
give serious consideration to the subject
they might find that they had neglected
something of quite as much importance to
the tired housewife as the means of living,
and provision for the future. Uncon-
soiously, perhaps-so gradually that neither
husband nor wife could note the steps
whereby the change was reached-the hus-
band began to shrink within himself, to
carry home with him his business or other
enterprises, and to withhold them more
and more from his wife Absorbed in his
own thoughts, he became uncommunicative;
his meals were eaten in silence; after tea he
had accounts to look over or his daily paper
to read, and the children must not disturb
him. His wife, growing to his habits,
gradually ahstained from disturbing him,
tFe children were educated not to make
unnecessary noise in his presence, to go to
some other room for play or study, while
the housewife, tired with the performance
ce multifarious household duties, was
obliged to seek needed rest before the hus-
band could find leisure for anything more
than the most necessary conversation on
family affairs, In the meantime this silent
husband, whose wife longs for the old days
Of familiar converse and pleasant inter-
course, is unconscious of any decrease in
his affection; he feels, in fact, q stronger
love for the patient wife who smothes his
way at home than he did for the bride he
led to the altar years ago He recognizes
in her sterling worth of which he was un-
conscious, or which he would have been
unable to appreciate at that time. But in
- Of that love, in spite Of his devotion
isA ,ITo asterial welfare of wifeand children,
the he has,cted to make her life pleasant;
and he has pG. his own path with little
ana consideratiohSr desires, and has ac-
The oepted N s41 asiil Rs.tsr of course
eco The hlame is not always with M. tniSSnu'
dun counter forces are also at work to pro
to the same result The wife, while atten
e Is faithfully to all household duties, may
eed' helped to make her husband a silent
IVer by unnecessary discussion of his own at