The Arizona sentinel., 1888-11-10
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
Ups and Downs of Editorial Life Out In
the Far West.


APoLoGETICAL.--W hope our readers
will excuse the typographical appear
ance of the inside pages of the Kicker
this week. We were working them off
as usual on Wednesday, having Joe the
Digger Indian as roller-boy, when
Judge Shackawacksen made us call
and jumped on our collar. Greatly to
our surprise we picked the judge up
and mopped him all over the office aud
flung him out doors. His boot heels.
hind buttons, spectacles and tobacco
box flew about and alighted on the
forms, and in our excitement we failed
to notice them.
r. The big hole in our editorial on the
tariff was caused by boot-heel. The
blurr on the poem entitled: when
Baby Wakes Again." was caused by
two hind buttons. Such society items
as are unreadable owe their present
state to the judges spectacles. We
hope it won't occur again.
Nor THIS EvE.-Our name is being
prominently mentioned in connection
with the United States Senatorship
from Arizona. While we are flattered
and feel to step high, we must beg
our friends to hold up.
In the first place, we are too honest.
sober and conscientious.
In the second place, we are needed
at home We propose to run about
10000 human coyotes out of this Ter
ritory during the next twelve months,
and put a thousand others behind
prison bars.
While we feel tickled all over and
can hardly sleep nights, we can't accept
the office nor leave Arizona. just
pass the place along to some other man
and leave us to do our work.
A DECEIvER.-We owe no grudge to
Colonel Hastings because he once
cuffed our ears in the corridor of the
town hall. We had proved him liar,
a swindler, and an absconder, and he
had to cuff to save his reputation. The
Colonel is now seeking the nomination
for Sheriff, and is promising, in case he
is elected, to secure our town gov
ernment appropriation OF $25O,OOO to
build a public building. We are actu-
ated only by the kindest motives when
we say that the Colonel is a blooming
deceiver. He can no more secure a
dollar from Uncle Sam than we can
borrow one of the hinges from the
gates of Heaven. All the influence he
has in this world of sin and sorrow is
confined to the Red Hot saloon and its
crowd of reprobates. Do not be de-
ceived in the castor oil voice of the
Colonel.
AN EXPLANATION.-The cause of the
Kicker in opposing the building of a
bridge over Red Horse river, to con-
meet our town with Dutch Hill, is being
severely criticised by some of our citi-
zens, who declare that we are opposed
to progress and improvements. Such
is far from being the case. Any open
bridge across the river would be an en-
couragement to suicides and accidents.
When man gets drunk on Arizona
whisky, he either wants to kill some
one or jump off a bridge. There are
fifty men in town who would go over to
Dutch Hill, fill up, and fall off the
bridge coming back if it had a railing
fifteen feet high.
As to a covered bridge, it would at
once be. taken possession of by all the
old soakers in town who tried to get
home, and in a month would be voted
a public nuisance. While we just holler
for progress and Improvement, we
can't see our way clear on this bridge
question, and shall therefore oppose it
until we have a change of heart.
NOTICE.-We have in our possession
about forty deeds and conveyances be-
longing to as many different parties
which we picked up on the street last
night. They dropped from the coat
tail pocket of our estimable and efficient
Register of Deeds as he was weaving
his way homewards at a late hour. In
the East this would be called piece of
gross carelessness, and the Register
would be expected to resign. Out here
in the glorious West no Importance is
attached, and the estimable Register
takes an extra drink and pulls another
wire for denomination. And the worst
of it is that we owe genial Henry $14 in
cash and daren't go for him until it is
paid. d.-DetrOI Free Press.