Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1888-04-10
FULL OF FUN.

--"Fond Mother" asks advicc as 10
the best way TO raise boy Try
derrick.
--Agont (at tho door) Ills tho lady
of the house IMP" Gentleman (calling
to his wifc) Mary. is tho cook mp"
= Truth.
"A young lady has named one OF
her admirers Hposac Tunnel because
he is such an everlasting bore. Var
rem CO., Mirror.
"A woman in Lake County, Cali
fornia, has filed an application for the
.nbrogation of her marriage with her
nephew. The reason assigned is con-
sanguinity.
Papa" said young Hopeful, 81
have just boon to the circus. and saw
the elephant" "Whnt was he do
ingP" asked papa. ''IIc was eating
hay with his front tail"
"A scientist declares that the hair
curls after death. Now. when you
hear your wife say that she's "madc
PIE that will make your hair curl,
you'll know just what she means -
KonkcrS SALESMAN.
"A new steel gun has been designed
for our new steel navy. As the enemy
approaches the muzzlc his attention is
attracted by n small sign. Drop
nickel in the slot and soc tho gun 60
of "-Burdete.
"A small girl of three years sud-
denly burst out crying ut the dinner
table. "Why, E.hol." said her mother.
"what is the mattcr?" "Ohln whin cd
Ethel. "my teeth stepped on my
tongueP"
Brown (who has given his friend q
ciga0 These arc something like ci.
gars. ell, old b1y?" Jones obviously
regarding his) y es-er, something
like-wlat are thcyP'- 1era, Stfttngs.
Patient (who has met with an ac-
cidenO is It bad fracture, doc
torP Doctor "a surgical enthusiasD =
'B"dP Why IT'S beautiful, sir. beauti-
full Tho bone is brokcn In not loss
than thirteen places. "-Life.
-Jiggs-"Miss D. Bonair has grown
considerably since l saw her last Win
ter" Wigs s-"HDw SOP" Jiggs-
when saw her then her dress came
way up 10 her neck. "-Detroh Free
Press
Two young ladies and an Irish
gentleman were converting on ago,
when one of them put the home ques-
ton: (Which of us do you think is the
elder, Mr.. G--P" Sure" replied
the gallant Hibernian, 'you both look
younger than each other "
-"I don't lik e the way things are
run at school," remarked Amy.
There's something rotten in Dem
mark" yes" aSsented Mildred;
'thero is surely something in an adj
,vanced stage of decomposition in tho
Danish Kingdom. "-Ptts6urgh Chron-
tcle.
Says mother; "One day found
Alice. little black-oyed beauty, sit
ting astride my bcdpost, gazing with
delioht at her image in tho mirror. ]
asked why sho looked in the glass.
She frankly sail: "'Causo ! like the
looks of me. Our Young Peopie.
Tho great Ofloff diamond, which
surmounts the Russian imperial
scepter, is tho first in SIZE and the
third in value in the world. 1t once
formed the ,yc of an idol In temple
near Seringham. India, whence it
was stolen by French adventureE 1t
weighs 1856 carats, and is valued ut
81. 399 40.
- Mrs. Biggs- 'Eow that your son
has returned from college, do you feel
repaid for your outlay for his cduca'
.tionP Did he take any prizosP' Mrs.
Squiggs-"O. yes. mum; yes, indeed
He got a medal for what he calls
sprinting. and he must be high up in
mathemalic' :, for he says he's learned
four new curves. Sjraaton Truth.
Justice of the Pcace-"Had you
ever saw this man beforeP" Witness
Yes" Had he ca ne before you had
wentp" mo" rs them your eggs
what you say was stolcP" Yes"
Would you have recognized them il
you had seen them before they was
brung hereP" yes l would have
knowed them.'' Speak grammatic,
young mani 1t amt proper to say
have knowed;' you should say have
knew. ~ Cincinnati Enquirer