The National tribune., 1888-05-03
A sUPERsTITIOUs WIFE.
Her Freaks During the Honeymoon and Later.
[ClIicago Herald

Her Freaks During the Honeymoon and Later.
[C7icago Heraldl
Before Maude and I were married her PEN
chant for horseshOes and fOur-leaved clovers
did not impress me as an indication of anything
more serious than the harmless romanticisrn of
innocent maidenhood. l did not tRen realize
what it is to have superstition in Che family.
Even later, when she implored me to wear my
left sock wrong side out for luck / regarded it
only as the sign of aiectiOnate solicitude for my
welfare, which would evaporate after the honey
moon. l noticed that she was very particular
about these things. She thought that it was
flying in the face of Providence to leave a room
by different door from that by which she had
entered. This was very uncomfortable super
stition in our fat, because the rooms were
strung along in line, so that it was practically
impossible to pass from our parlor to the dining
room without going through couple of he'd
rooms.
Maude was in fearful dilemma about this
at first. ] suggested that she should let her
self out of the front window by rope, walk
around the block and climb into the back
window on the fre-escape. She seemed to be
panied by the leYity of this advice, and l left
her in tears When returned she was radiant
with hope.
off you go out of the second door backwards
it reverses the charm and gives you good luck /"
she said, and she stuck to it even after she had
fallen over a dOormat and driven hairpin
into the back OF her head in her efforts to pro-
pitiate the fates / couldn't see much luck in
that, but she called my attention to the fact
that If she had gone out In the usual way she
might have driven the hairpin into her nose,
which would have been much worse
At first she was the only victim of her va
carries, but later they began to get in their
work on me- She sewed a horseshoe that
weighed six pounds on my chest protector, and
/ had to leave the whole outfit st neighboring
bath-house every morning and call for it ut
night because it so heavy that it made me
round shouldered. IN this way caught cold
that nearly carried me off the face of the earth.
She sat up late one night to put genuine
hand-paiHted four-leav clover about two
feet in diameter, the back of my coat, and
she was so nervous about it that she painted it
on the outside instegIio of on the lining. 1t took
quart Of benziue to bring back peace to our
| household.
One day / camel home and found her seated
! behind her sewihg-table, which was covered
with cards. As soon as she saw me she sprang
to her feet with her couutenance full of hys-
! terra. She pointed her finger at me with q
gesture Of despair.
| Howard, you have been followed by dark
! woman Who is she? Don't attempt to de-
| ceiYe me-"
! :" My dear, I can conceal nothing from you y
| replied. 8 She is the colored woman who at
tends 70 our laundry. She met me at the door
] with demand for SAY, and l told her to call
again in the Spriag."
| | never saw anybody so relieved as Maude
| was.
81 knew the carda couldn't be wrong" she
! said. I've JUST got book that tells ali about
| them. Now Pm going to tell your fortune"
! She made me cutthe pack, and then she be-
! gan to lay off the csFas.
"A black knave; that's you," she said
Thanks, awiully," said /.
That only means q young man who is OF
| dark complexion she explained. "Theres a
| light queen following him. That's /, Of course.
Isn't it nice2 The ace of spades wrong side
| up! Oh, Howard, that means that I'm going
TO die aud she began to cry.
Turn over the next one and let's sec about
the inquest" l said, trying to pass the thing oil
! with Joke.
The ten of hearts" she sobbed. "That
means laugh and merry time. Oh, Howard,
to think that you should go OF and enjoy your
self after Pm dead You horrid, horrid thing"
But my dear, / should cry my eyes out
There must be a miss deal here somewhere"
No" she mOaned, and the very next card
is the nine of clubs which ans that what
ever you've told is sure TO > true. / am as
good as dead, and you will 10 happy"
Light of MY existence"
Don't speak to me. Would you deceive o
woman who has only a few days to live +"
Al hSStFItdDtSu buILSh Iuo uSAb CaIAs II
WIS the deuce Of diamonds. Maude was lock-
ing over the top of her handkerchief. l saw
her face brighten.
THAT'S the best money card in the pack, ,
she said. We're going to be rich before
die"
"Then cheer up, my dear. If you can make
up your mind TO stay by me until Pm rich til c
angel throag will suffer long and painful dis.
appointment while they wait for you"
After this burst of h0neyed eloquence there
was no more tears for awhile. did not trans.
gress the rules Of fate again that evening ex-
cept by picking up a pin the wrong end first
Maude was much frightened at the prospect oil
bad luck, but explained that l had picked W
the PIN oil the bedroom carpet with the bottom
of my bare foot and that under the circum
stances it is nearly impossible TO get anything
but the business end of pin.
Day by day Maude grew worse, until finally
| decided to have some doctors come to see
whether some Of her numerous superstitionS
had not cast the shadow of hOodoO over hel
once brilliant intellect. OF course [ didn't lei
her know about it, / said that some friends
would call and she must entertain them. The
guests arrived about o'clock one afternoon.
did not get there till 430. When | came in
curious scene met my gaze Maude was stand
ing behind her table telling fortunes for the
crowd, and the old medical fossils were so inter
ested that they had forgotten what they came
for, and did not even notice my entrance.
caught a confused sound of voices.
Did you say l was going to be pursued by
bleaehed bl0udep Gracious mel a lette
with piano in itr "BrunetP "Thanl
Heaven That bars my wife out"
Whom they saw'me there was confusion, an(
, the doctors hurriediy took their leave. Maud
burst out laughing.
8 The old foolsp she said. 81 made then
believe that all Inc girls in town were running
after them. They swallowed it all. l neve
! realized before how absurd cards were"
And you'll give up telling fortunesf"
gasped.
, Yes; I don't believe in cards anymore
These men have cured me-"
Great Scott" murmured under my breath
: they've broken their professional records"
And you WON'T be superstitious anymore,
said aloud. a. o
Never again, shespromised. "rll begil
; to-day. Goodness, no; l can't begin to-day
, It's Friday. Andto-morrow is the 18th of tn
/ month. Oh dear; I'll have to wait. But tn
first good, lucky day, when the sun doesn'
. rise in cloud, aud get out Of bed with m.
right foot first will renounce superstition
! forever-if haven't & bad-luck dream durin
the night.
. Connecticut Editors In Trouble.
u.