Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1888-06-22
PITH AND POINT.

The boy playing marbles stoops to con.
lucr.
Rough on rats-Thc kid-glovc manu-
lncturcrs.
Interior dccorations-puddingS, pies
and things.
"How is the earth dividcd:" "Byc
earthquakes, ma'am
To young men: It is better to be fast
asleep than fast awake.
On the road to lecovery-ovcrtakin
the thief who borrowed your watch
If n young man feels that his life is a
blank, he should try to fill it out and
have it sworn 10.
'Iwil and devise, y says the millionaire
and when he is dead and his heirs devic
ways to circumvcnt his will.
The twosides of a knife handle are like
two bellies gallanted by one beau because
they have blade between them.
Nothing is ever really lost" says
Walt Whitman. But what becomes Of IL
nights sleep which is st3--.S1ting.
1t is but reasonable to suppose that
the machinery in paper mill is run by a
stationery engine. Merchant Tiurcicr.
Curiously enough, after the pur,h ascr
had paid for his gun, he said he would
like to have it charged. DO ton C,mm,r-
cial.
A Sam is always him, but hymn is
not always Psalm. This ought to help
while away the re Dcum of Sunday
afternoon. York !Ga,.
Social Stranger Offering Bridgeport
f...
Churlish Stranger -"Thanlts, no; /
never disinfcct. "-1Id-B Bit.
Wifc-"Did you know, my dear, that
there is sex in FRUIT" Husband, who
feels surly-"Wcll, if that's so, then
.pcrsimmon must be female
'Ah, it's woman's mission to mako
FOOLS of men," said he "And how
vcxed we arc to find that nature has SO
often forcstallcd lis, )" said she.
Now that Cinnamon has been ar
rested rs tramp, there is no possible
surprise for the public except that M
Apache Indian has started n laundry.
flushed is the Conversations sound
OF snges and of gawks.
And there is silence deep, profound,
When money tnlks
Boston Courier
An old lady, with several unmarried
daughters, feeds them on fish diet tc-
cause it IS rich in phosphorus, and phos-
phorus is the essential thing for making
matches. = Commercial id. eniser.
Bridget Ito lady receiving calls)-
"The landlord is at the door, mum.
Lady-"Vcry well, Bridget (ro callcrs)
Excuse me one, moment, please, it is
my landlord with receipt for tie rent"
-Ep,ch.
President-"Yes. Mr.. Snapper, the
Faculty have decided that you have
broken the rules, and there is no course
for MS but to suspend YOU" Student
Elm; how about suspending the rules z"
-Ne,o Haren Ne,os.
Said the watchman, when about dusk
he was invited to drink cup of coffee
mo, thank you; coffee keeps me awake
all night" Then he saw his bundcr,
looked very embarrassed, nad tried to
explain, but it was no use.
IA good many new business houses
are going up on Broadway, | see," re-
marked n stranger to his ncighbor in a
Broadway car the other day." Yes"
said the other with sigh, tours went
up the other day. "-.SJtings.
The novel writers are fond of quoting
tht determination of their heroine to sell
her life as dearly as possible. They
probably would have us TO understand
that she intends to marry an old man for
his money.-Ne,o FORK Mto..
Giggson-"Yes, Miss Edy,h, I've
0,rten heard young Jiggson proudly
boast of being brcad-winner. u
Priggson (Jiggson's rival)-"Yes in
decd; matches nicl1els with the Office
boy for rolls for lunch. 7own Topics.
There was sign upon fence
The sign was Z" Paint"
And everybody that went by,
Sinner and saint
Putout finger, touched the fence
And onward sped.
And as they wiped their finger tips
ut is, they said.
-Nelc York Sun.
Miss Greatbrain (of Boston)-"sc
brother George has got marriedl'
Omaha Man--"Yes; it YVES an elopement
that is Probably why the ia nily wcr,
not notified" "ls his wife woman o
intellect" "No, indeed; pretty as
picture and sweet as apcach. - maA,
World.
Citizen-'I'm surprised that you hav
bccomc such a careful driver, Jake
You used to be the most reckless teamste
on the streets. You ran into half
dozen different carriages, to my certain
knowledge" Tcamster-'l'm drivin'
mighty light wagon, now, an it's m
own. % OMAHA World.
Sadly it hangs there,
Wavingin the wind,
Telling wretched tale
on woe, to all mankind.
Ofblasted expectations;
OF hopes now wrecked and gone.
Once soaring high as heaven
Now Frustrated and prone,
Twas made to cleave the ether
Far up where oil could see.
Now nothing but q kite tail
Waves in an apple tree.
-Dansoule Breeze.
II law-brcakers were choosers magis
trates would be men, of few words am
short sentences. ,ssS ~ =,