Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1888-06-15
Carl Duuder.
Detroit Free Press

oh, its you, eh?" queried Sergt Ben
dali yesterday, as he looked up from his
work at the desk and saw Mr.. Durder
before him.
I believe she vhas me, sergeant, und l
like TO hat some remarks nit you
Some fresh trouble 1 suppose"
"Nhell, l hat some experiences, per
haps Last winter when hat some pone
aches, der doctor says I yhas to get some
medical flannel"
"Medicated, you mean"
"Mebbe she vhas. Vhas it all right?"
Certainly. Medicated flannel is sup
posed to be a good thing"
'Nhell dis vheek a man comes in nv
place ind likes to sell me some medic cat
ed fly screens
"What?"
" has she ali right"
Whoever heard of such thingm
"Vhell dot vhas it. If you medic ate
some tiannels Why doan' yoa medicate
some fly screens? He says it vhas to be
an awful bad year for shills und fever,
but if have some medicated fly screens
nothing can come IN. As soon as der
shills und fever strike dose fly screens it
vhas all oop nit her"
and you bought some?"
II buy ten"
Mr.. Dunder you don't know enough to
pound sand!n
Il doan'? Show me some sand ind
Will pound his head off! Do you believe
like to be seek?'
well go o'.-what eise?"
u hat fire escape put On my saloon.
Mebbe you find some fault NIT dOt?'
"On your saloon? At what point?"
"On der back door. He vhas made of
wire, unG holds half a bushel."
"On the back door; holds half bushel.
Explain"
Il can explain in two minutes. hat a
man put oop fire escape so dot shall
escape fire dot burns me oudt."
How will you escape?"
"Doan' 1 tell you dot hat no fire if he
vbas Oop dere. He dOan let fire break
oat-he makes me escape a fire"
And you paid for it?''
81 pay four dollar, of course. Peoples
doan' work for nothing"
"Well 1 declare! It's wonder some
one don't offer to buy you for cucum
Ser!"
''Dere you vhas again. EfSebody yells
for fire escape, ind shust so soon as 1 get
one you make fun of me- Mebbe you
like my place to burn oop?"
"WelL, well, but go on. Two swindlers
week are nothing for you. What
else?"
''Yhas SheneraI Shackson lead?"
"Was he! Well l should remark. Gen.
Jackson has been as dead as door nail
these fifty years past"
"Has he? Dot does me good. Dot
yhas one time 1 vhas all right und doan'
get shwinded."
"What do you mean?"
'Nuell u nice mans comes in my place
two days ago. Was 1 Carl Dundea? l
vhas. All right. Say, Mr.. Dunder [ vhas
on to & scheme dot make US rich. like
you to work her among der Shermans,
und | take der Yankees. 1t vhas called
Sheneral Shackson's Discovery, but he
died before he did much about him. 1t
WAS how to get der sand out of sand
stone"
"Great Scots!"
Hen vhas he great Scots! Doan' you
like to get der sand out if he vhas in
dere?"
"What for can't you get sand almost
anywhere? Isn't it as cheap as dirt?"
Il doan' think of dot. Well by gol-
ly"
and you bought the secret?"
'Vhell, we go in partnership you see.
[ gift him $50, ind he goes Ply Chicago to
get some machinery. He vhas to do all
der work, und [ Was to sell d er sand ind
be der treasurer"
"Well you'll never treasurer on that $25
its a wonder he didn't strike you for
fifty"
HE did,
and Why didn't he get it,"
II doan' happen to hat him. See how
sharp l vhasl l safe twenty five dollar
in one heap, like to see you do better"
you'd better hire a small boy to stay
in your place and keep sharpers off. You
don't know grass"
81 doan'! You pring me some straw
uad l Will show you! S Sergeant"
"WeH:"
Look at ny eye! safe twenty five
dollar und you call me fool! Now look
out! Keep your ear by dot telephone!
l vhas going home. Poorly soon some
Teller comes along und wants to know if
dot vhas Gratiot avenue. He uhas a
shWindler. L take him Ply der neck ind
break him in two fifty times, und if dot
telephone rings it vhas me ind 1 like dot
corpse carried AWAY. Good day, sir!''