Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1888-03-07
MR.. AND MRS. BOWSER.


The ether afternoon an expressman de-
liyered at the house several strange pack
ages. and when Mr.. Bowser came up in the
evening he explained that they were fire.
escapes.
ssWhat fort"
s'For the house, of course"
''But we don't need any fre-escapes on
cur house Mr.. Bowser."
"Don't we? Well, we shall have them
Just the same. If you want to be burned
have no objection, but I propose to die
some other way"
"You never said there was any danger"
''Because l didn't want to make you
nervous. As matter of fact I haven't
felt safe any night for year"
"And now the danger will be obviated?"
'It will be reduced to the minimum,
certainly. Even if we wake and find our
bedroom on fire we shall be able to escape
with only scorch."
After supper he carried the parcels up
stairs. There were several bottles and a
couple of wire racks, hand fre-extin-
guisher, and a rope and pulley and other
stuff.
s'Where would fire be likely to start il
the house?'' 1 asked Mr.. Bowser as he was
fixing hook in the casing of our bedroom
window.
''Down stairs, probably"
"Well, we have front and back stairs,
and here are three chamber windows open
ing out on veranda roofs. Couldn't we es-
cape by some of these ways?"
eff thought we could would be foo
enough to go and throw away $50 on this
apparatus % he angrily demanded.
"I-I suppose you know best"
"Mrs. Bowser, when don't know best
will resign. While you have never giver
the subject of fre-escapes one single
thought, l have devoted years of study tC
it. Take our wall-eyed darling and &c
down stairs, and when l want you | will
CALL"
SIN about an hour he called. He was ii
great good-nature. He had the hook firm
~ in place, and hanging to it was rope
aud some sort of harness.
at isn't much of an ornament to oul
bedroom | ventured to observe.
"What has ornament got to do with fire
escapes? Isn't your life worth more to you
than the daily presence of tea-store
chrome. The escape is now ready"
"For WHAT"
"To escape by, of course Here is the
Yunmmaging about in search of her lost
quid of gum has dropped lighted matches
under the front and back stairs. The
flames have been smouldering for hours
They now break forth with sudden fury,
cutting off our escape from either stairs. !"
nAnd we crawl out on the veranda roofs. !"
sDo we? Not much We start to do SO,
but we find that all the verandas have fall
len to the ground, the supports having
been heaved out by the frost"
"Weu?''
swell, we awake with the crackle OF
flames in our ears. While yon wiring your
hands and declare that we are lost, / calm.
ly secure all the money, jewelry and valua-
able papers and coolly make preparations to
escape. calmly pull down the rope and
harness, seat you and the baby therein, and
the next moment you are landed on the
ground. follow just as the engine ar
rives, and the papers of the next morning
chronicle my wonderful selfpossession in
the face of awful danger"
"And don't they say anything about me?''
''Not word, or, if they do, it is to remark
that you were in dead faint and your feet
never looked so large"
Sand can you 60 down by that rope aud
harness?"
''Can 1? Can you chop wood with an axf
What is it for except to go down onf'
81 would almost as soon be burned up al
to try it. I don't believe you would dare
60 down on it.
s'Mrs. Bowser, what wife believes and
what husband knows are different things.
Is it likely would purchase this apparatus
and put it up here if l didn't dare use it,
Shove up that Window
"But wouldn't try it. You are rather
clumsy, you know?'
Another insult! Shove up that Window
put up the sash and he seated himself
in the harness, sat down on the sill and
grasped the rope over his head, and with a
look of disdain in his eyes he swung himself
off. A wild howl rent the air, followed by
the thud of something striking the earth,
and looked ont to see Mr.. Bowser lying in
heap below the window. I rau down and
out as soon as possible, and after seven OF
eight minutes he was able to limp into the
house with me.
''Mr. Bowser, are you much hurt?,
asked.
He glared at me but did mol reply.
'1'm aorry you tried it,
Some more glare.
81 told you l thought it dangerous"
''Mrs. Bowserp' he huskily began as he
Jumped down on the sofa, ''this is the be-
ginning of the endp'
"What do you mean?
''I mean you have made the last attemp t
on my life you'll ever have a chance to!
You bounded me for weeks and weeks to
get this fire escapes and you meant my
death by fallF'
"Why, Mr.. Bowserp'
''Say no more! saw it in your eye as you
pushed me off the sill! Tomorrow we
separate!
But when the morrow came he sneaked
up and removed the apparatus and pitched
it into the alley, and fire-escapes haven't
been referred to sincs.-DetroI Free Press.