Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-10-27
GENERAL ITEMS

Ill illdl SOULFUL 1t IL SuDSldIl-
tally reprinted below.
For some time there was great in
trrest manifested among the people
In anticipation Of the great Joint dis
cu>~lon that WIS 70 take place at
Frum'S school house on Saturday
evening. Oct. 20. Considering the i'm
portance of the event our best lady re-
porter was sent To the place with in
siructionS to write the best account of
the meeting she could. Below is her
report written III her Own raviShiuu
st> lr:
Now II came to pass in those days
when political demagoguery engaged
the MINDS and absorbed the Attentions
of men. when tumult and contention
Stallled abroad in the land and bitter
strife and vindlctive pickering had ar
rayed brother against brother aud
father against son, when the peopi.
went to and fro in their anxiety, aud
thecr"SS roads politicians proclaimed
their doctrines from the house tops
that Shadrach Felix who is >uruamrd
Reed. challenged To a mortal combat
of words. one, Jonathan Ephraim. who
is surnamrd Peck. Now Shadrarh
halls from II heath in Barborrland and
is II man tall of stature, long uf wind,
great of nose, and powerful in debate.
Be it further known also that Shad-
rach was hitherto II friend Of Ephraim.
and they had together often stolen
apples and grapes, drank buttermilk
our OF the same emp, and marched to
the music Of the same drum. Ephraim.
moreover, was a political giant from
the land of Logan, Il man of auburn
tresseS. great confidence and little
learning.
The hIrangue took place five miles
away from town, time midnight, Ill Il
house filled with patriotic men, beaut!.
full women. dirty children. vitiated air
and toh1rco smoke. After II band of
ten pieces. consisting of bagpipe, a
jewshtrp. Il hurdy gurdy. vorIphrne.
n tambourlne, ii pair of bones, IA bass
drum, II country fiddle and a darned
fool HAD favored the audience with
Memberships famous Funeral March
and Johnny Git Yer Cum" the chair
man, II long, lean, gauut, knock
kneed, cork-lrgged, cross-eyed. Topped
cared. hooked nosed. bald headed.
horny handed son of toll swinging the
Broad Shield of American Law" ad-
vaNrrd and in English bad and hrnk-
en- introduced the first speaker of the
evening, Jonathan Ephralm Peck,
barrlStrr at law, whose dulctt voice
captivated the audience as he belched
forth the following snatch of song:
o, for the touch Of a vanished hand,
And the grunt of voice that is still.
And then plunged into the cesspool
OF political corruption. from whence
he foundered into that
Serbonian bog where other hogs have sunk,
And threw out Il leg of mutton the remnant
of a race once wild, untaxcd and free, then
plucked bright honor from the pale faced
moon and dragged up more mutton by the
locks. lie cried for a fair chance, a free vote,
free press and free trade He followed for n
free country and his own dear native land,
and longed for mother home and heaven.
Hell pulled the wool over his auditors ears,
rode them on steel rails and knocked down
the price of sugar.
Then he spoke of the rabble's rage and the
mobs most tiendish howl for cheap bread
and free speech. lie ranted about thirsty
men, hungry women, freezing children, sap
less ages and juiceess fruit wearied wings,
dropping heads, rocking chairs daring deeds;
slddy Drinks and tottering States; fearless
ships and coward ice; ground hogs and
lieeceless goats; gestic lore, smiling spring
and parting summer, thistle down and zeph.
yrs breeze.
After Jonathan's conclusion the
choir chauted
Fair moon to thee twittcr.
The aforesaid chairman then intro
duced the aforesaid Felix. who strut
ted our before the aStoniShed gazt. of
the enthusiastic audience. and with
hands thrust into the pockets of bl,
hlgh tariff pants spun around two o.
three times on his left heel. display
ing to the now tntranced and admir-
ing crowd the wonderful symmetry OF
his Sigmoid curve.
He then grew eloquent and deliver
ed himself as follows:
When the eilulgent rays of the morning
sun shall gid the majestic hill tops of Mon
ongalia on the ides of November and the
LAUNDERING loud mouthed cannon is hcarC.
P'oNi'i'o the CioiCe Vi benjamin Harrj-
son as the next ruler of the nation. AS old
Sol shall roll on in his fiery chariot at the
rate OF one thousand miles an hour, and gun
alter gun shall catch up the defamation OF
me last report the national anthem will
swell, and as the reverberating echoes roll
away TO the westward, the JACK rabbits of the
boundleSs praries will prick up their ears in
amazement and the bloodthirsty MOSQUITOES
OF FLORIDA will pause moment in their MUIR
derouS work; and when these sound waves
shall converge somewhere out in the great
state OF Kansas. the very foundations of the
earth will totter and the echoes will resound
against the blue vaults of heaven and minyIe
iheir tones with the songs of the stars and
stripes as they roll in their musical spberes
(Here tie Npea er fetched sigh of relief)
On FOR II steel ribbed opaque roof to shut
ont the light of the sun and thus "protect''
the makers of wicks, shutters, street lamns
eXtngluShers and bulls eye lanterns Oh
that had the power ola Joshua that might
command the sun to stand still in his course
and give the laborng man chance! What
right has the sun TO food this mundane
sphere with light when we have great and
ineXhaustible reservoirs ofoil and gas ready to
leap forth from the bowels of the earth at the
touch of the drill and do the bidding of men?
My friends, you have heard of the Milk Bill
II Is monstrous document. am told that it