Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1888-02-05
A SWEAR WORDS.
Substitutes for Real Profanity In Every
Day Use.
rb5rn1D MrY

wise apparently rational. He picked it NJ
in Dakota, where it is supposed it gov;
wild. 1t is an instance of the expedients
men will make use of to avoid q swear
wcrd-s little, simple, every. day sweal
word. Yet these eXpedients are necessary
in fact there must needs be
substitute cuss words for parlor and
drawing-room use. Great Scott" is
an old-time favorite hallowed by
| the use of near half a century. OF course
it was never intended TO glorify General
Winfield Scott, nor yet Sir Walter, but is
40 strong an ejaculation and so comfortably
near a real hard blue bad word that its
reason for being is more than passing good.
Who knows but that the mem'ry of that
doughty warrior may be conserved in this
word as flies in amber are or ancient rep
tiles in the rock thou dost crack nuts
withal?
Bloody" is a favorite adjective with the
English people, and comes in 80 easily that
the story is told that when once a clergy.
man was consOling a bereaved mother for
the loss of her infant boy, by assuring her
that he was in 3 better land and out of the
care and worry of this vale of tears, she
said: "Oh, yes, sir, l s'pose 'e's a bloody
little hangel now. / 'opss as low e is"
How a gruesOme, CORY word like this
should have come into such general use is
something of a mystery until its derivation
il known. 1t is a corruption Of by Our
Lady" a favorite medieval oath, contem-
with "By my halidOm," with
out which no doublet-and- hose play could
possibly be written.
'sZounds'' il another old corker usually
gotten off by the irate father who wears a
white wig and snowy ''sluggers' in the
dramas written before the war. 1t IN thresh-
ing over old straw to say that this ia u con-
traction of Gods wounds" "Sdeath''
used to be Kissed through the teeth OF the
old-style villain of the charlottesville
here-l.must-dissemble' style. Poor old
''sdeathr' You probably have in your
time done more real labOrious work than
any any other semi-bad word In the Ian
guage, and now you are laid on the shelf
as out of date and obsolete. And who Is
there 10 take your place? Not one. What
word is there to-day that will hear being
Kissed through the teeth to the accompanl-
ment of a scow that pulls the eyebrows
half way down the nose? Not one. What
villain OF even the blacklist dye could sur
yiye the shock OF being made to say: Gee
whizz! | will be r.r-reyenged OF you, me
naughty dame?" Green he the turf above
thy head, Old "sdesth."
Gosh is a real nice cuss word, but
Iackingin refinement. ItsomehOw breathes
the sturdy spirit of the backoodsman, who
dared push forward into the new lands OF
Illinois. brave the chill terrors OF the scalp
ing knife and the still more chilly terrors
of the fever an ager,' settle on a quarter
section of land, on which a city would be
built. and, by judiciouly doing nothing
but holding fast, build up the com
muuity aud amass u fortune by his
own eAertions in collecting his rents.
There are trimmings to gosh that
make it picturesque and imposing. "Gosn
all hemlock!' carries weight with it, but
it is only heard in the far, far of hamlets
where city people take their summer Vaca'
lions aud on the mimic boards. Ii Is usu-
ally done up in the same package with the
COUNTRY jake, wearing long ''yaller' chin
whiskerS, whiting a shingle and squirt
ing tobacco Juice with uuerring precision,
Gosh a mighty" and gosh darn" are
much more natural and must have been
hailed with uufeigned delight by all good
citizens When they first came ont, for they
are such harmless substitutes for words
that are not at all harmless, and, in fact,
are very p~rOfane. Any one VINO mas seized
the opportunity the new year afforded OI
swearing of on swearing will appreciate
this point, Tor he has ere this found that II
ne would gait swearing he must Entirely
reconstruct his English language.
Now, gosh a. mighty" comes Just rs
handy Il this Kind Of "A mau rs piece 81
chewing gum does to the jaws Of the mar
who has Just quit chewing tobacco.
Darn IT," with is prefix "goldarn It,
il still in active use in various parts of The
| country. Il is sometimes pronounced
''dern, - and in this ease it goes along will
a sombrero and a shoOting-gallery, aut
Stranger, whar dye come tromt'
Dem is put up for the Western trade
and comes in chunks about so big: "pl
pump your dern skin full of lead" By
| Common consent it is tabooed in fashion
able North Side society.
1t seems q pity to let it out that "Oh
dear me ~ is hard swearing, when so many
estimabie ladies use the expression will
such a deal of comfort, but it is fact
nevertheless, that "Oh, dear me- is jus
"Oh, do mior' or "Oh, my Cod" il
| English. This isn't such a dreadful thint
to say in French-in fact, in that Language
| isabout equivalent to "Well' but English
speakirs ladies Willingly take the name
| of the Supreme Being in vain, as a rule
| Generally in the continental languages Il
swear by the sacrament is much more pro
fame ihan to use the name Of the Deity.
"By Jimminy!" is, Of course, by
Gemini, " that particular constellation II
the zodiac called the twins, an illustrator
of which may he seen o. the first page
! of Ring6oue's Family Bitters almanac fol
the current t Two babies in each
others arms are represented in a cut OF 9
sort of dime museum aggregation OF
curiusities, the central figure of (which is q
man apparently in the primary stage Of
dissection. These twins are embalmed II
the Joke which went the rounds OF the
papers in the fall of 80 and the spring Of
20. Ii seems that u man whose name
could not be learned, and which for some
reason has never been divulged since, was
fooling asOund the hind legs of a mule
anything about a mule was considered eX'
tremely cOmicai, not to say mirth pro
yoklng, in those dsys-wheu something
happened. The joke didn't say that,
but it tersely recorded that "Gemini
Critzer'' was his last request. Probable
Kritzer was the twins last name. But
let that pass.
by golly" and ''by gracious" "by
gravy" and by dad" are old prime tay'
orites, not yet fallen into innOcuOus desue
tude. Dad burn it" had a great run FOL
a while about the time those old gray
shawls for men were all the 20, but will
them it has almost faded out Of the recol
lection Of the men of to-day. Once IN {
while when the old gray shawl, with To-
black-headed fastening pin, Is seen on the
street, and once in q while dad burn it
is heard, but not oftener than once IN {
whUe--never twice in a while. Never
never.
A great future was predicted for "ge'
whillikens," but it was q little too strong
for everyday use. Not that 1T was eve