Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-03-03
HUMOR.
CONE to blows often-sailors.

CONE to blows often-sailors.
To BIZ we'll preserved man drink
we'll water.
HoRsEMEN are in favor of stable
government.
A SAILOR generally feels tired after
q days port.
If you would secure fresh share of
life seek the fresh ar.-TerdS SIT.
Tugs.
A EUROPEAN misar has learned to
bark, to avoid the expense OF keeping
4 dog. -Te.raS SWinJS.
CALLER Ito Mrs. H. "Youf daught-
er's husband is an A. NJ is he not, Mrs.
II. ?" Mrs. II: "a trifie sourly); ayes,
he is about o'clock a. m"
The difference between !ay Gould
and the IN lkman Is that, while they
both water their stock, the milkman
always hilks his first. Life
FRED-Tm surprised at Browns
ISLANDERS, for l supposed lie thought
everything of me. Acd-So he does
everything that's bad.-Tid-iTS.
1RAra student-"Don't you ever
sweep under the bed, I'd like to know ?"
Calm "Goody"--"I always do; prefer
it to a dustpan. lila rurI am room.
WIFEi "Why, the paper says that
Thomas Eaton died at the dinuer-table
on Thanksgiving dayl" Husband :
"Ah, l see; he was born Eaton and
died eatin'."
"THG singlc.5cull racei" exclaimed
an excited old la ly, as she lail down
the paper. ANY gracious! 1 ddn t
know there was race of men with
double skulls"
The idea of using axle grease on
bread seems utterly rcpulsive to >ome
people until they have tasted the fresh
country butter sold at some OF the West
ern groceries. -NebrdSkn S'dt' Jour-
ma.
UNCLE JOIN (teasing little Edith
You going to school? Oh, nonsense !!
Edith-Well, [ dess | be big enough
to do to school. Doesn't yare a hustle
-EOStOH IrGI'S ripi.
"ToMMY," said his aunt, Il hear you
grandmother gave You watch on your
watch?" "No," replied Tommy, who is
sever yeats old, 1T was Il barefaced
watch. y Ptis jurg ChroHj Ic.
Disadvantages, Cholly is-er
-chawming fellah, but is 50 awfully
defawme3, y'know. Wiilie-Poor fel.
lahl What's the matter with him
Gus - Why er - aw- y'know, his
mouth is 80 awfully smaller he
cawn't get his lips over the -cr-hca
of his cane.-LV.
DE PEYsTER they have been con,
yersing on art topics: Are you fond OF
majolica, Mrs. Parvenu?" Mrs. Par
venu (who has made several bad mis-
takes since her entrance into society,
and is on her guard: "Well -er-,
that depends entirely on how it is
cooked"
A MAN Of NERVE.
His nerve wa weak-a orGymonslid.
Whom cry puul NO ii annoy
He cumo for st out de- him III I'd
I he shrieks of tho whistlins buoy
The mountain air is bet .er for mo;
must Lee this dizzy wLirl
He is settled now, away II III the sea,
But ho mar c II wasting girl
Ii e.
"YEs," said Miss Filter, :" | am from
family of scholars Why, my grand
father, even as far back as his tine,
was thorough in Greek, Latin, Hebrew
and many other CT the anc 'ent Ian
guages. Did he understand VIOLA.
puk?" some one asked. "Oh, perfectly
Some of his TRANSACTIONS from that pro-
historic tongue are really charming. -
IrhdnSG,c TrdU ,'er.
TUE following is from Proce 5sor
Longfellow's private journal, under
late of January >, 1851: DWELL gave
L supper to Thackcray. The other
guests were FELTON,, Clough, Dana, DR..
Parsons lDante's tran ,!ator), Fields,
Edmund Quincy, stes, and myself
We sat down at ten, and did not leave
the table till onc--verv gay with stories
and iokes. Will you ttke some port?'
said Lowell to ThacAcray. 81 dnr
drink anything that becomes a man. d
1t will be a long time before that be
comes man. "Oh, no." cried Fenton
at is fnSt turning into Cne." As VT
were going away Tha keray sad ave
haze said too long" Il should say,
replied the host, SON long and two
short-a dactylic suppe"." - EHtor'.
Drd1rer. IN Hm'Der'S MdQa:Ile.