National Republican., 1888-01-03
Holiday Hnbgoblins.

Tue holidays are over, and with them de-
parted once more to the shades of oblivion
that experiment in domestic economy which
Annually about that time besets the human
family like mldwinler madness. II In
wolves the problem with the millionaire
how 10 give everybody everything and b I'VE
the universe left, and with the poor man
how TO make dollar of the daddies re-
plenlsh the stockings OF five score relations
and have enough left to carry him to the
next payday. Blest was the man who
bad in early youth pursued the higher
mathematics sufficiently to provoke an
original system in himself through which
he could multiply his coin many times faster
than by the simple rule, and divide the OBJ
jects he coveted by diyisor so ininltesl-
NAL that its answer would be countless.
Blest Was the woman whose surplus did not
turn to deficiency before the last day for
shopping heayed IN sight. Blest were the
children whose parents or guardians sub
mitted without groan to the pillage which
civilization has proclaimed justifable.
Doubtless many willing glyer, in 40
imaginary way, has heard "the juggling of
the guinea" which "helps the hurt that
honor feels" and cursed Congress because
1t did not before the holidays provide an
outlet through which that surplus in the
treasury could be distributed. Aud It eau
not bo denied that many an honest debt has
been postponed to the laudable desire for
bridging over "a few more" gaps in friendly
relationship. Altogether, the financial
| strain has once more severely tested the
domestic exchecquer, aud now there is
heard a universal sigh of relief.
OF q different variety, but equally peril.
ous, has been the experimental assault on
the civil service Of the household. The
head Of the family went to the foot early ia
| the campaign. Driven from room to room
| In his own house, haunted by low
voiced and mysterious cousp!racIes, finally
| he TCsorted to tie street, or the friendly
| but fugacious warmth Of the corner gro.
Gerry. Intrigue was In the air, and anarchy
| took the place ahdcated by the lord and
master. Children constructed nuconstttu.
| tional rebellion against parents aud parents
| against grandparents, servants against
masters, and masters against the ruling
| order Of things. Citizens and strangers
|
| OF social regulation; nobody WAS exempt
from the lawless deIrlum. Small but
awful boxes were hidden under beds aud In
dark craunIes, threatening to explode at
the slightest touch Of one who was forbid
| den, Tiny rolls like dynamite bombs crept
into lockers more or less secure, carrying
CONSERVATION to the thief of the clandestlne
| peep. All persons bore armruls OF missiles,
deadly or otherwise, to be thrown at for.
mer friends, with reckless disregard OF
consequences TO the social order--all, with
out exemptIng the usual classes denied
the ballot-namely, foreigners unnatural.
izcd, Indians untaxed, and lunatIc5. The
latter class appeared to have seized the
! guiding star Of the season aud lighted 1t
with kerosene highly explosive. Aud
when, after all this dark-lGntern plotting
Of the social mob had eliminated In one
tremendous crash, tho sober everyday
thought began picking up and putting to-