The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-19
BRIGHT BITS.

PREACHERS never strike for higher salary
They are generally too busy trying to get what
has already been promised them.-PicdyMne.
ONE reason why the girl of the period knows
so lie about housekeeping s because the
young man of the period could not be persuaded
to court in Milwaukee Journal
MRS. KKUPP, widow of the great gun maker,
has an income of S124000 year. That should
be enough to Keep ner in powder throughout
very long engagement Boston Transcript.
WHATS your business?"
81 feed the lions in a menagerie"
Must be dreary work.
''On the contrary; it's very funny; they keep
the table in roar. "-TO,cn Topics.
A WOMAN will sit on her foot for three straight
hours and enjoy it, but if her husband happens
to get on her foot for short second she
makes the air around her turn blue. This proves
that woman is OBSTINATE Yonker'S Statesman.
II SEE a buttonless shirt advertised here,
John said wife, looking up from paper
What kind of a shirt is that;N
Just like mine" was the reply. And the
wife resumed her reading.-Nec York Graphic
DRINKING high-priced liquor does not make
gentleman of man. Let man be drunk and
in the gutter, and it makes no difference wheth-
er ne came there through barrel house whisky
or sparkling champagne.-Net0 Orleans Plea
yuHe.
HOME Visitor-Well, Fanny, how does
your mamma do?
Fanny-Mamma does just what she pleases
And how does your papa dor"
He does what mamma tells him to- Mock
ing Bird
l ALWAYS liked the Episcopal religion best, :"
said Gil, as he eyed pretty girl with her mo-
rocco-bound prayer book in the horse-car. IF
you are an Episcopalian you get credit for going
to church, not only while you are there but all
the way going and all the way home.-Sun-
nleTUitle Journal.
Cool IN THE MIDST OF DANGER-Mrs Babe
good-l'm going shopping, Loisette. Is any
thing needed for the nursery?
Loisette-Oui, madame. Leetle Harold, vat
you call-swalow hees rr-rattle Zis morning
Eet vas re silyare one wiz re bells, madame
Posseebly you can it match?-Tid- Bits.
Il DON'T SEE, - said an Eastern man to Kan
san why the settler on the frontier lives in a
dugout; why doesn't he cut a door and windows
in a Kansas pumpkin and live in that"
well, you see, said the Kansan, 1.-The Kansas
pumpkin is SO large that it cannot be kept
warm in winter without a great deal of fuel,
aud fuel is very scarce. ''-Atchtson (fO) Globe.
LET us gather up the billiards
As they howl around our door,
Let us pack away the snow-drfts
That now dot the landscape DER.
| Let us bottle up the zero
That now cuts us like blade,
For ell need it all next summer
When it's ninety in the shade
-DGnSUiile Breeze.
my beloved brethren, ~ announced preacher
| from his pulpit, sabbath morning next a col
| lection Will be taken up for our blessed Fiji
mission"
Amen" rang fervently through the congre-
| cation.
And would add" went on the preacher i'm
| preSSively, that amens. however resonant and
sincere, make but little rattle in the contribu-
| ton box. Let us unite in prayer. "-Netc York
| Sun.
FIRST MESSENGER BoY-What's yer hurry,
Gully?
| Second Messenger Boy-Us boys wanted to
| give the boss nice present for his birthday, so
we all Clipped in, and I've Just been out to buy
| it. It's awful purity motto, all hand worked,
| the man said; its blue and red and got a big
| gold fringe on it. Guess he'll hang it in the
| office, where we can all see it.
| That's nice What does the motto saw"
| THE more haste the less speed. Golden
| Ar0OSu