Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1888-04-06

Mr.. Doilinger Finds Out How IL IL
Himself by Taking His Wife's

=
Now 1t had happened in the past tina
the man Dollingcr had stood mucl
with his nose up in the air and boastcd
how he could take care of the small
boy, which the latter's name was VII.
lie; and he had said that his wife, moth
er to this Willie. was not posted on tax.
ing care OF children. and that he him
self could manage him without making
such fuss about it, lie had laughed
at her, and Knocked her, and told her
his mother had brought up her child.
rem differently and had albeit much
better. And Likewise he added that her
raised biscuits went more to the spot.
SO in good time it fell out that the
woman would 60 downtown for the
afternoon. And before this the hired
girl had jumped the ranch. but the man
sa d it mattered not-that he would
himself take care of the boy. And
while the woman was going down the
front walk Willie whooped twice like a
wild Indian and asked his father eight
questions. for the boy hungered for in
information.
And while his mother paused before
the gate looking at woman who wa :
riding past to see whether she lad Il
new hat or her old one made over. lit -
tie Willie asked a few more quest ons.
And It was so that all of the boys qucs-
tons We're short. but the answers to
fhat11 Inntr unI nNnnnIfpo,
cult.
And it was three hours before the
woman returned, but Dolinger thought
1t was three months. for his offspring
made t hot for HIM.
And so i happened that for the next
two minutes after the woman started
the boy asked no questions, but drag
ged the family cat out from under the
the stove by the tail and yelled like
man when the returns come right on
election night. And his father told HIM
TO shut up and keep still at which the
boy obeyed and set down on the floor;
and the father marked the effect of his
hrmness with great pride, and seated
himself to read an article on the tar II
question. And he had read ten lines
when the boy began yelling like man
with his hand caught in the door Of
burglar proof safe and kept it up for
five minutes, howlng exceedingly loud.
till his father was glad TO stop h : read.
ing and comfort h IN by galloping
around the room with him on his head
Aud it pleased the boy, and hi asked
ten or fifteen more questions; and Dol
!lnger fell over a caSt-lTon train Of cars
the boy he had left in the middle of the
room. aud got up so mad he kicked the
cat over the rocking chair VIII ch anus
ed the boy 50 much that he forgot to
ms II on answers TO hs questions; how
belt, he thought of others.
And during the next half-hour Dol.
lnger had to butter four pieces of
bread for Willie and Get h IN "a drink
nine times. and sing four song, To him.
and show how o monkey looked twelve
times, and 90 into the next room TO see
what he was doing five times. and an
swer thirty-eight questions And he
made but small progress with his read
lng. but he kicked the eat twice. and
once he missed her and famed his right
foot on u charrOcker.
After this he tried TO induce the boy
to 90 TO sleep, and rocked him IN hour,
and sang 10 him, in harsh, metallic 1
voice which needed oiling, more than T.
lftv different songs, and got him "A drink /
3 ghteen times, aud answered ques- I
ion once minute; and ut the end OF he /
lime the boy was bright, and cheerful 1
md wide awake, and rose up and said: /
Papa, cant you kick the cat again
IS awful lots o fun?' and it was so
hat he kicked it,
Then the boy rode the broomstick
around the house and whooped some
more; and he tipped over the center
able and three cha Rs. and hurt II mself
vice, and ran the end OF the broom
tick into his fathers left eye; and the
at hay ng gone out of the room his
ather swore, and stra ghtway the bov
epeated the swear word; and his father
mt down the sugar-firk where he
ould reach it TO induce him TO promise
ever TO use the word again. for he
rembled lest the boys mother should
ear it and straightway know It's
ource.
Then the boy ate till he became
assessed of pam and yelled so that
cople stopped on the dewalk and
A'h'u VI ocuu'uR lOi pOliCcHlan. 90
D comfort him his father got down on
is back and galloped around the edge
the parlor like horse; and k cked
ut backwards at the cha rs. and paved
nth his arms, and pretended TO put
own his head and eat grass; and the
oy pounded him in the ribs with his
cells, and whacked him over the head
'th drumstick. and asked some
uestions; and the questions were after
ne manner: why don't YOU hold up
our head higher like horse?" and.
Why don't you kick me with both
'et? that's the way horse does and
Why don't you WINNER like horses?"
nd Why don't you have long ears
Ike Harry Jones's donkey ?" All of
hich the man had to answer. For
hen he got down he visit not that the
o. would want 20 ride for three
larters of an hour; but it was so that
G Il d. ,,
And after he got up he sank into
lair. and Willie scattered his play I
lings around the house and threw his 5
All through a front window. and blew c
u his tin horn. and tore up the late i