Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1888-05-24
UPON THE BALCONY.

wv oho tiouse across the way,
ana Tor once in his life lounged in a
perfectly natural position, with a re.
faxed and human look on his lace. II
would have been plain to the dallest
That Tor once in his life, any rate, the
professor had forgotten all about him
sell. his stomach, his dyspepsia and
malarial tendencies, his theories on
bacteria, and, more than all, the i'm.
portant Tact that precisely at 6:15 il
was his custom to partake OF pint
oil new milk scalded and two slices oil
stale Graham bread toasted. The
professor was tall, lantern jawed,
slahsided and sedate. He lived by
theory; in fact, life itself was theory
to him; he had theory by which he
led his stomach, theory by which he
pruned his mind and made it sprout
only on the north or scientific side. 4
theory by which he raised his chill.
dren, and innumerable theories
regarding diseases on which he
wrote books, taught in a
college, lectured in Boston and
killed people in an experimental way.
lie only ate certain foods, and chen
only at certain times. and in the ca
pacity of n guest would have been,
lear, thoroughly impossible. A per
son who shifts at salad and asks
suspiciously lis that oil in it?" who
holds your hospitality offered cup Of
tsa of at arms length while he rudely
queries green or black" who can't
or won't ride backward, nor sit in a
room without an accurately measur.
ed amount of ventilation, is, / con
tend, a thoroughly impossible person
and not to be thought of as a chum,
guest or in any OF the more init.
mate relations of life.
Professor Microbe lived in city Tar
removed from this gay, seductive
southern town, and his duty was far
from here, but what with his theories,
his dyspepsia and his skim milk sys,
tenn OF starving his stomach, he had
pretty nearly experimental himself
of into the land from which no ex.
perimenter has yet returned, and had
been ordered of south for complete
change OF scene, food, air and mode oil
life.
Said his doctor to him: "For heav.
ems sake, man, quit your fooling with
yourself; shake yourself together and
live rs God Almighty intended YOU
should. You are monster nova
detormity. Eat plenty, drink plenty,
laugh, go to the opera. to the theatre,
dance, and, il Mrs. Microbe here will
let you, TALL in love-" "If that is
your theory, OF course, DOCTOR" said
that sandy lady. Mrs. Microbe really
was a lady who seemed to grit in the
teeth. The professor had married her
in pursuance of a theory. and the re.
suit OF that marriage had been two or
three surly, unruly, i'll hammered cubs,
who bid fair to grow to mans estate
heartily hating theories and theorists,
And so, to cut a long story short,
the professor came south. leaving be,
hind him everything and everybody
which comprised life from his point oil
view. The savants welcomed him,
and made much of hfm. therefore he
liked the south. A man would think
it fair summer at thu south
pole if only there was some
one there to keep his vanity warm
But the hotel did not suit him, as ht
was constantly uncertain about the
newness of his milk and the age Of
his Graham bread, and SO. by q
stroke from Fortunes merry dame
who marked him for victim, and
intended to have some fun with him
he found lodgings IN a charming
cd Spanish house in the very heart
OF thu French quarter. 1t was a
room quite too lovely for dissertation
by dusty old professor, however
distinguished, who lived on theories
and oat meal mush and was full oil
bacteria. 1t WAS front room in an
entresol over a furniture shop, with
arched Spanish windows blinking
out on q balcony of wrought iron oil
most exquisite beauty. In corner
of the balcony stood one of those
grand old water jars with peelinu
sides of yellow, brown and salmon
and which might have held two OF
three of the ''forty thieves" but III,
stead was full OF earth, for q splendid
rose vine that clambered all over the
railing and sent its tender. sweet per
fume stealing shyly into the room SC
desecrated by microscopes and bot.
ties of liver pills and bundles OF medi-
Gated red flannel, and the Lord
knows what in the wav OF instur.
ments for the detection and location
of bacteria.
There was faded Administer car
pet on the floor, carved bed il
which had slept a king of France and
a prince OF Spain, an arnoir large
enough for a tomb for some Italian
benevolent association. dressing
stand inlaid with mother OF pearl
cabinets, arm chairs, tete-a-tetes GOV,
cred in frayed brocatelles that had
cost % fortune yard, q pier glass
that one could not break with sledgt
hammer, faded tapestries at the arch
ell Oiu NdoCo lit Gilt
inches where once some demoiselle
had prayed to her shrined Virgin, and
in the midst of all this the professor,
or, to speak correctly, his belongings
for at the moment the learned mem
Der oil a dozen scientific societies. the
eminent Fellow and Phi. d., was hang.
ing over the balcony watching the
house across the way.
Wax tapers burned on the marble
table and the steam had ceased from
the pint of new milk in its fragile bowl,
but still he sat watching the
house opposite. He saw lights,
colors and many persons moving
about, chairs scattered any how in 4
fashion that would have scandalized
Mrs. Microbe, or the professor either,
i'm his own house; books. music, How
ers, magazines. an open piano, q gui-
tar, dog all ruflled up in old gold
ribbon. &. cat juggling a silver bell at
her blue neck. a tray with glasses on
it and a bottle that was neither lime
water nor apol!inaris. nor yet ginger
beer, and moving about here and
there n glorious woman with night
black hair piled on the top of her
beautiful head. with bare neck and
arms, daintily slippered feet and a
laugh that seemed to stir the few re-
naming bristles on the professors
head as he listened, so sweet and Sc
ductive it was. She wore black and
white gown, and Once she reached out
her long fair arm after red roses
crammed in blue bowl. She gather.
ed up handful of the flowers aud
fastened them on her breast, turning