Workmen's advocate. (New Haven, Conn.) 1883-1891, 1888-03-03
ANOTHER REMEDY.
RED PEPPER, HEAVEN AND
POROUS PLASTERS.
Promise Bright for LabOr's Jubilee
Substitute Stimulants Annoy.
ing Labor AgitatOrs-NO
Need For Any Labor
Agitation.

Many solutions to the vexed labor
problem have been offered, any one
of which, if we are to believe the
profound intellects that have pre-
sented them to us, would, if prop
erly applied, at once and forever
Danish all poverty and consequent
misery from our fair planet.
But, unhappily, the various
schemes proposed have not met with
that general approval without which
the aforesaid Punishment cannot
be worked successfully. This is
deplorable popularity, common to
all the poverty -banishing projects
hitherto invented, unless we except
that of that immeasurablo minority
which proposes to bring about a
more desirable state of things by
plenteous application in specific
manner of properly compounded ex-
plosives.
To be sure, there is goodly num-
Der of intelligent people who are
fully aware that much time, persist
ent agitation and a vast deal of edu-
cation are necessary to bring about
a desirable change.
In addition to the many plans for
making things little pleasanter for
the common run of people in this
world the difficulty Of applying any
one Of them is greatly augmented
by the fact that the designers Of the
plans are by no means agreed as to
"what's the matter anyway"
For instance. some assert that the
private ownership of land is the
cause of the poverty of the many;
again, others claim that high tariff
is running the working people; still
others assure us that the tariff is al
together too low and consequently
we are being ruined by the pauper
labor of Europe; then again some
shout that monopolies are eating up
the substance of the people, while
from another quarter comes the cry
that cut-throat competition is the
sum Of all iniquities.
Whatever may be said, pro or con-,
as regards these various allegations,
does not interest us just at present,
for we desire to speak of new cure
all which has been brought to our
notice. 1t seems that what really
ails the workingmen is the drinking
of alcoholic beverages.
1t is alleged that some sixty mil
lion bushels of grain are thus con-
sumed. Now, it is clear, that if
these millions of bushels of grain
were made into bread instead of
whisky and beer, and eaten by the
workingmen there would be perfect
contentment reigning in the land.
Now, if the poor workingmen
could be made to see the evil of their
ways and help enact laws prohib-
iting the manufacture and sale of all
intoxicating beverages, why, there
would be sixty million bushels of
grain for them to eat i'll the shape OF
good, wholesome bread.
Surely, this scheme seems to be
a very practical solution OF the pow
erty business.
TO be sure, some rascally labor
agitatV may insinuate that the
workingmen want pie as well as
bread. Indeed, there may be mis-
creants who will assert that the sixty
million bushels Of grain wouldn't be
grown at all if the whisky and beer
business is vetoed-it wouldn't pay.
But why trouble ourselves with
the wretched twaddle of such de-
based creatures? Without question,
these rascals will have the assurance
to tell us that if this scheme is car.
ried out thousands of workmen will
be thrown out of employment and
will be obliged to compete with theil
fellow-workmen engaged in other In
dustries and thereby lower wages.
But then, this is sheer nonsense