St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1888-08-25
SEASONED CHESTNUTS.
Gray-Whiskered Conundrums Collected by
Lover of the Antique.

other men as a sutton? he married MS
wives and axed them afterward.
What was Joan of Arc made OF
Maid of Orleans. What killed herr
Too much hot stake
When did Caesar first go to the Irish?
When he crossed the Rhine and went
back to bridge it.
The name of what celebrated Scotch
man does person mention when the
hired man raps on the door? John
Knox.
When the boy complains that the
meat is tough and his father advises
him what to do about it, the name OF
what great writer does he mention?
Chaucer.
When were Napoleon's clothes rag
ged? When he was out at Elbe.
When did George Washington take a
carriage? When he took hack at the
cherry tree.
The names of what three writer's
does man use when he puts his hand
on hot stove? Dickens, Hewitt, Burns.
If the founder of Pennsylvania S
mothers sisters kept a pastry shop,
what would they call the rates at
which they sold their pies? Pirates OF
| PenZance.
What is the difference between the
Prince of Wales and bomb-shell? One
is heir to the throne and the other is
thrown to the air.
The name of what character in his
tory does a person mention when ask
ing the servant to put coal on the fire?
Philip the Great.
Why is Westminster Abbey like a
fre-place? 1t contains the ashes of the
great.
When is paper money first mentioned
in the Bible? When the dove brought
the greenback to the ark.
Why was Noah like hungry cat?
He went forty days and forty nights
without finding Ararat.
Why was Pharaoh's daughter like a
merchant in Wall street? She found
little prophet in the rushes on the
bank.
When was theater first mentioned
in the Bible? When Joseph was
thrown from the family circle into the
pit.
Why is stick of candy like race
horse? The more you lick 1t the faster
it goes
When should we read the book of
leaves.
What bridge is warranted to sup
port any strain? The bridge of a
fiddle.
Why is the letter like death2 It
at the end of life.
Why is the vowel the only one
sounded? Because all the others are
inaudible.
Why is the happiest of the vowelsp
Because it is the center of bliss, while |
9 is in hell and the rest are in purga- !
tory.
Why is the letter k like pigs tailp !
It is at the end of pork.
Why is the letter like thunder? It
makes our cream sour cream.
Why is tin can tied to dogs tail
like death? 1t is bound to occur.
What is the difference between a
dogs tail and a rich manp One keeps
a wagging and the other keeps a car
rage.
What is the difference between an
apple and a pretty girl? One you
squeeze to get cider, and the other you
get side her to squeeze.
Why is a city official like church.
bell?. One steals from the people and
the other peals from the steeple.
What is the difference between an
engineer and a school-teacher? One
trains the mind and the other minds
the train.
What kin is the door-mat to the doorp
A step father.
What is the board OF educationp Tho
single.
What is the difference between an
Did woman and pretty girl? One is
hairless and cappy and the other is
careless and happy.
Why does a sailor know there's a.
nan in the moonP He has been to sea.
Why is a doctor never seasickp He's s
Used to see sickness.
What is it that will give cold, cure ]
cold and pay the doctors bill. A I
Lraught. +
Why does an old maid wear mittensp I
% keep off the chaps. t
Why is man who makes pens verv
7ickedP He makes people steel pens t
nd then says they do write.
What sticketh closer than brotherp t
! postage stamp, by gum.
What is waist of time? The middle t
f an hour-glass. @
Why is the north pole like an illicit v
'hisky manufactoryP It is a secret t
till. q
Why is it easy to get in an old mans 8
ouse? Because his gait is broken and b
is locks are few. +
What does man take when he has s
mean wifep He takes an elixir Che
cks her). O
Why is door In potential moodp n
IS would, or should be. s.
Why is sheet of writing-paner lilo n