The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1888-12-29
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

The suit departmental courtroom
A prominent band-The engagement.
ring.
Made of all work-Some womeps
lives.
The toney girl-The soprano of the
choir.
The old notion that blood will tell ia
a vein conceit.
The paper hanger makes money BY
going to the wall
Saratoga is famous for spring water
and Niagara for fall water.
ale can take it out in trade as the
abusive man said of creditor.
If you want to know what a sliding
scale is try to handle wet fish.
Possibly the most courteous of all the
masts is the gallant. u OCEAN.
Figures never lie, but the context fire.
quently does. Burlington Free Pres.
The man in the moon is doubtless
married to the maid of green cheese.
Time.
Time flies and stays for no man. The
only fellow who can beat it is the
musician.
One of our fashionable tailors is build.
ing yacht 1t is to be cutter, Of
course. Ocedn.
Many young women who went to the
watering places this year to secure titled
husbands have returned quite crest.
fallen.--Kercary.
1t is a notable fact that however
clearly seamen may be on the water,
they have decided dislike to being
washed ashore OCEAN.
An author, ridiculing the idea Of
ghosts, asks how dead man can get
into a locked room. Easy enough.
With skeleton key.-Mer uru.
My baby knows her alphabet
As tar As A and Il,
But she can get no farther yet,
For there's squall at e.
Ocean,
Speaking of doughnutS, an exchange
says the quickest way to digest them is
to eat only the hole and throw the rest
away. Despite this suggestion, the
whole of the doughnut will be eaten as
usual.
According to scientific writer. ''blue
eyes are SIMPLY turbid media" II
sounds more poetical, though TO refer
to "blue-eyed GIRL" than to call her a
damsel with turbid media optics.-Msv
York -NacS.
A Connecticut man las invented an
"elastic hat This is truly one of the
greatest inventions of the age. A hat
that swells with the swelling head will
supply great and long felt want.-Nee
York Telegram.
'Who is this Chinese Bill | read about
as being in Congress so much" asked
Mrs. Snaggs. "Oh, he's a brother Of
Buffalo Bill, replied her husband, who
then went on pursuing the baseball COL
umn.-PtsJury Chronirie.
An exchange informs us that the Keely
motor is still alive. Then why doesn't
il mote. As the man said when he read
the epitaph on the tombstone: II still
live, " "Well, if | was dead, wouldn't
be ashamed to own up to it.'-Boston
transcript.
In Hartford, Conn, a ieweled casket
was locked and given to the bride to be
opened twenty-five years hence. Wedo
not know what it contained, and venture
to say if the bride doesn't it will be pried
open with apair of scissors within q
week.-Jeneler's Weekly.
A Newark man noticed an advertise
ment last week in which it was set forth
that the advertiser would impart the
secret of living for the small sum of 81.
He sent the money and received a reply
containing two words. They were:
"Don't die. "-Needrk journal.
Little boy "Mamma, what does this
mean: Never judge man by his
clothes"" Mamma-"Oh, it means
that men haven't sense enough to select
clothes, and it's always hit or miss With
'em. Women folks are the only ones
that can be Judged BY their clothes.n-