New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-01-08

Uncle Erastus and Aunt Isabella arc very much OK
ha,sted by the labor OF arranging the family a. tsoo
Every year Aunt Isabsss executive ability Is taxed
to the utmost BY this ardusus task For exampie-
Uncle Thomass sister Hannah. who Is full. ard who
moreover enjoys tho UNIQUE distinction Of being tho
plainest woman of tradition ard hl5tory-P0tiPnas
wife not exceptedhas for years boon Cousin Joromos
portion at tho POSITIVE board Not TO cat but to parAks
of conversationaffv and Cousin Hannah ScOnvcrsa
having become q matter of family history. Cousin
Jerome rebels. On reccpt of his invitation he paid
Aunt Isabella a visit. Ho would bc charmed to como.
but Amt Isabella. kindly and out OF Christian
pity. put MIN beside somebody Else Cousin Jerome
looked very pei siasivc whom no said this and mt
Isabella could not but own that Hannah was not dow
cred with that brlancy and esprit which renders tho
female sex so fatally charming.
Pm not particular" Cousin Jerome had averred.
pathctically. ANYBODY VIII do for change. ANY Of
tho worry little girls I'm fond Of lamb But dear
Aunfe, havo labored In the VINEYARD for five con
secutive Chrismases MY system is shattered
] wouldn's be anwcrsblo for the results. II heard
Hannah tell that story OF tho m0neooSe again. Tho
quality OF mercy f. strained far. that II something
doesn't happen II win break-and Aunt Isabella melt
cd and allowed the quality Of morcy TO regain its
normal tension
Then there tho BROOKLYN contingent and Cousin
Ethel Ethel was q progressive ycung woman. who
read Balzac In the original and had liberal views all
subjects. TO air which at the family dinner did Cousin
Ethel seriously incline Moreover. she 0nce. in refer
to Maufs taking a prize In smlr acn the
Old Testament. had liberated hor sOu By rcmarking
Oafon, but she never told that" That II was a
great deal better not TO know such lot of things
than to know such lot of things that rot So
This being closely followed BY tho frivolous, not TO
vulgar remark In answered. a comment the beauty
of Maud5 feet That II that the Maud ought
to walk her head with her feet In tho ara slight
c,olness had arisen betwe5n Ehol and tho Brooklyn
contingent wLch rendered t advisable to place them
as far apart as the dining table would permit Tca
there was Aunt Amelia. whom nobody wanted because
she stupid and nevor said a wCrd. and was sus
pcctcd of eherishlng Low Church tendencies. Uncle
Fred had to take her I'm be- no was tho best
naturcd man In tho family. Aud Uncle Johns deaf
ear had to be always kept in mind and Aunt Annlo's
temper. Last Christmas Aunt Isabelle had darinsls
was so RULED when to her most cutting sales Uncle
John I'D remark curvlng his hand be hind Ids car
What's that Annie, dcarl" with the most benign
SMILE that tho family decided the risk too great
to attempt It again. Uncle John, having tidy fortune
the simplicity of tho three per cents was
man to DO respected. ear Uncle ErastuS
was not particular who sat him. all no demanded
ed having a bank account of large dimensions. DO
cuarty also possessed by his feet for Uncle Erastus
was netting II not coniStent. Eu' thor 1t doesn't
always follow the correct thing In bank accounts
Is the correct thing in feet