The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-10
BRIGHT BITS.

A PETRIFIED soUAw has been found at Cas-
cade Lake, and an anti-belever in our present
Indian policy thinks that the sight Of an honest
Indian agent must have petrified herewith as
tonshment. -NorTistotCn Herald.
PoNsoSBY- Really, my boy can't see why
you such high collars
Griggs-Caw'nt you, deah heart? It's Just to
Keep me from waggng my chin foolshly.
Might try 1t, Ponsonby.-Tid Bits
TIE PRETTY MAIDEN fell overheard and her
lover leaned over the side of the boat as she
rose to the surface and said: Give me your
hand. Please ask papa" she said, as she
sank for the second time Boston Courier
TIE FASHION of wearing no gloves is an in
fernal fraud. With gloves you can have three
or four strings tied around your finger with
hard knots in the back and folks would think it
was lot of diamond rings Boston Post.
SO much skinned milk has recently been con
demned and poured into the Hudson, that now
all the milk dealers draw their supplies direct
from the river-and their customers are com
menting on the marked Improvement in the
quality.-Pltck
SHE-And do you still squeeze up the ladies'
feet in your country?
He-On the contrary madame That is
Chinese custom. We, in Japan, always allow
the ladies' feet to grow to quite their full size.
Not that any would ever rival yours, madame.
Is delighted with his neat little compliment. J.
London Punch.
SCIENTISTS say that shutting the eyes makes
the hearing more acute. This explains why
man cant sneak into the house at midnight and
crawl up stairs as noiseleSSly as feather with
out be ng heard by his wife, who is asleep. If
women were to sleep with their eyes open, mar
ried men would have mere fun at the lodge
when there is a prOtracted session.-NOTriStOtUH
Heraid.
DoBsoN- Hello Jobson. old man. how are
yon! Oh. by the way, can you change $50
bill for meY
Jobson (pleased to be thought a capitalist
Certainly, my boy, certainly
Dohson-Good! I'm glad to hear it. Then
you'll certainly be able to pay me that S. you
borrowed last year.
And Jobson had to pay SOHterriue Journal.
1--WE about concluded" said the manager to
his company. just after a stormy rehearsal, "to
stop putting on plays, and turn your talents in
a direction where they will be more useful"
What are you going to do?" asked the lead
ing man.
I'm going to organize you into a foot ball
association. III have the most brilliant collec
lion Of kickers in the country. ''-Merchdnt
Irdreier.
CoRKINs (making another Intellectual effort to
light his cigar)-Gash-dum these things They're
the poorest l ever saw Cost me 15c. a box,
too
McStab-Awful high price for them, Cor4ins
Regular swindle.
Corllins-You can bet Ill never buy matches
from peddler again
McStab- Matches, Corkins? l thought you
were speaking of the cigars Chicago Tribune.
AN uptown Presbyterian Sunday school
teacher has way of expressing approXima-
tiOh by using the a1verb principally as ''princi-
pally this or principally that, and she has an
initiative scholar, the of a Congressman.
Last Sunday she had the boy in a corner. DO
you always tell the truth Tommy" she asked.
Always, miss, - he responded promptly
Always, Tommy she inquired, doubtingly
Well, principally always he replied and
she let him CO. Washington critic.