Morning journal and courier., 1888-02-07
MAN ".

Georges l., H., IT. and ". of England showed the effects of their absolute behavior in early life. They were Rex many years be- fore they died.-Life.
 You see, the trouble with 'ssuccess" that is too dearly bought is that you have got to have attained it.-Rochester Union. Nurse (to young husband)-A beautiful ten pound baby, sir.
 Young husband (getting things mixed in his excitement)-Gloriousl Am father or mother?-Texas Siftings.
 Minister-Well, Bobby, do you think you will be a better little boy this year than you were last?
 Bobby (hopefully)-I think so, sir; began taking cod liver oil last week.-Epoch.
 4 Syracuse dry goods merchant has posted placard containing the following on his store door: "Don't try to open this door, am sick, and when I am We'll I will be able to Open it Myself. Watertown Times.
 ''Bub," said the agent, as little boy opened the door, s'is your ma in!' "Yes; she's in the kitchen trying to fix the stove; it won't bake. Who shall I say wants to see hera" "Tell her it's the new minister. who will call again. ."-Harper's Bazar.
 Stranger (to young nan consulting his watch)-I see that you are carrying your first gold watch.
 Young man (somewhat surprised)-Er- yes, sir; but how do you know thats
 Stranger-Because you carry it in cham ois-skin case.-Judge.
 Bobby (whispering)-Didn't I hear Clara tell you, MT. Featherly, that she was sorry. but she really couldn't give you lock of her haira
 Featherly-Sh, Bobbyl-er-yes.
 Bobby-Well. you just wait day or two and I'll get some for you when she's out Harper's Bazar.
 A reason for all things.-'Why do you fill up your paper with such nonsense as this?" he said to the editor: "John Smith of Pug vile is in town calling on his many friends" :" door and said: "Mr. Smith of Pugvi11e wants fifty extry papers," "That's why" explained the astute editor. ."-Harper's Bazaar.
 Worried wife-Oh, doctor, what has de- tained you? I sent for you at 12 o'clock; my husband is very low indeed.
 Doctor (complacently Yes, I received your call then, but as had an engagement with another patient in this neighborhood at o'clock, I thought I'd make one job of it and kill two birds with one stone.-Judge.
 Little Margaret for two or three nights re- fused to say her prayers. One night her pa- pa covered his face with his hands and said ''It makes papa feel sick to think Margaret won't say her prayers" "Papa feel sick?" "Yes, dear" ''Papa better take casser (cas- toT) O1 4ue SuOJoc6 oI prayers WaS uo longer discussed that night.-High Chair Philosophy in Babyhood.
 A Main street merchant who believes in the old saying of ''See pin and pick it up and all the day you'll have good luck" saw pin in front of the postoffice the other day and while stepping to capture it his hat fell of and rolled out into the street, two suspender buttons gave away in the rear, his cellar split open and his store teeth, which cost SIS when new, fell out and broke on the sidewalk. He picked up the pin, however. .-Berkshire Courier.
 "You have fine large family of children" said the visitor. ''Oh, yes," sighed the Tex an wearily, "house is full of 'em. Can't go in any direction 'thout steppin on a young m. Always in the way. Drat 'eml" q should think" pursued the visitor. ''you would be afraid some of these ferocious-looking dogs would bite the little darlings." "Dogsl" ex- claimed the father, brightsning up. "Ain't they beautiesa I've got $50 that says ther' hain't 'leven finer hounds in all Texasl'- Chicago Tribane.