Mountain Home bulletin. (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1888-1889, 1888-11-03
FUNNY LARRY JEROME.
low tho Noted American Joker Amnxed
S0me rhtok' Wttted Engltshlnen.

0'NtNu Gt&nnI NGUOMEs
low tho Noted Americas Joker Amazed
s"me rhiok. Witted Engltsh,nen.
When his friend OF many years ar
'anged that hitherto unheard-of thing.
M ocean yacht race, in which the Hen
rietta. the Fleetwing, and Tie Vesta took
part. Larry Jerome begged to be taken
on the Henrietta. and was accommo-
dated, going forth on voyage which
many thought to be q pilgrimage Of
death. Previous to sta rting Larry bet
right and left on the rae CO, and when he
came to figure up his bets he found that
he was booked to lose, no matter how the
race came out His friend, Mr.. Heck
sher, took the bets on the joker's hands
and by little scientific work changed
the book into sure winner. Well, the
race was sailed and TIL % daring racers
We're not drowned. They landed in
Cowes conquerors and lions, and found
all England, which dearly loves pluck,
at their feet
Then Mr.. Jerome cultivated the top
notch of British aristocracy with out
ward devotion and I'M ward chuckling.
and had lots Of fun at the expense Of
the thick-witted isla hders, who think
the whole world worships them.
Among his blooded friends was ono
who had the entree to Osborne, where
her Royal Majesty " as sojourning at
the time. They paid a visit to the pal
ace. In one of the rooms the eagle eye
of the joker lighted on some OF the
royal stationary.
30, he cried, raising his eve to
Heaven, iii could only have one OF
those crested sheets to take home to
America. how envied l would be
therem
His friend thought the matter could
be arranged and soon the Joker had
his prize. Shortly after this dinner on
one Of the yachts was given, and to it q
number of Englishmen were invited.
Mr. Jerome had written on the royal
stationary an invita- tion to Mr.. Law
renee X. jerome 10 dine ut Osborne
with her Majesty, the Queen, and ar
ranged to have it brought into him
when the champagne had circulated
long enough to make the Englishmen
unsuspicious and credulous. As 1t
happened. real in vitation from Lord
Somebody was handed to the joker just
few moments before the arrival OF
the bogus one. He opened it. yawned
and locked distraug ght. What Is it?"
asked some one.
20, only an invitation from Lord So
and-So." The Englishmen stared.
Only an invitation! Then came. the
big envelope with the royal seal and
crest The Englishmen marveled. Mr..
Jerome sighed, and with an incom-
parable air Of nonchalance cut the seal
and opened the pr ecious missive.
"Well," he said, "this is getting to
be bore"
What was itp @, an invitation from
the Queen. An invitation from the
Queen bore! O, well, she doubtless
meant kindly, but she didn't know how
tired the American was Of these little
social courtesies; they were beginning
20 pail upon him And so for half an
hour he ran on, and nearly drove the
astonished Johnni les crazy. They never
suspected the jok B.
There were a couple Of Americans in
the party who could not make up their
alleged minds whether his letter was
real or bogus. They tried to pump
Larry, and he got on his dignity right
away. At length they decided that he
really was on intimate terms with the
royal family, and as they were anxious
20 visit Osborne, they asked him te
give them the .open sesame" IN,
lear boys" he said, there's nothing
easier in the world. The Queen Ii
lead stuck on American yachtsmer
yer since We came across the pond
All you have To do 10 to put on YOU
Yachting clothes and march up to thu
,alace. As A mericans you will b.
welcomed. OF course, you will fini
iome soldiers at the gate, and they viii
present their ba yonets at your breasts
,ut that is only matter OF form
Wave them away, tell them you are
Americans and march in. They will
ause you no further trouble" The
two simples followed these directions
,nly too we'll, and narrowly escaped
rrest. When they returned to re-
proach the joker he met them with a
;erious counter nance He could not
'redit their story. why, went in
hat way" he solemnly asseverated,
..and didn't haze a bit Of trouble. l
vent through the Queens private
,partments." Nor could they ever
make him confess otherwise.-N T.
World.