Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1888-08-03
HUMOROUS.

How to cut pcrson-Look daggers
at him.
The fashionable hair cut is la
moved.
When the girl baby appears in
household there is generally a family
cry-sis.
Willie, when asking for another plato
of dessert, remarked that 'it w,u.d just
Gil the Bill"
The man with the first baby is all
smiles-smilo for himself and his
Siends, too.
Daughter Mamma, what IS a man-of-
@ar2 Mamma-It's naval olliccr of
course, you silly child.
1t seems as if the bread and plstry
cook might not inarpropriatsiy b,
termed dough-mestic.
"Iow much to peep throu II your
toloscopc2' "Ten cents" rhcrJs
five. I've only one eye
When cat gives an entertainment
from tho top Of the wall it isn't tho cat
we object to, it's the waul.
"Where are you goiag, my pretty maii~
"Pm going a-y achting, sir, she saii.
"May go with you, my pretty nadF
eyes, stree, if you're not afraid.
The Chinese ought to be very good
billiard players, for they are accu3-
toned to handling tho cue from their
earliest years.
Chicken salad neversct3 we'll on som9
people. Perhaps it is made Of th1
wrong kind of chicken. For instanc /,
roosters arc never gool settlers.
A New York literary man composes a
good many of his poems while riding
about the city. Ho is hack writer
be. by the way, - r.d The
r;fo2 You used to say you haa 'n'
hos, oirl when you were single Fo'N-
ham (sadID-sho's still boss
rtho, Mamma, l am writing tt
Nellie Lee; shall I say anything for you. 70"
i Np'roT Mamma, Writing to that contcmptlDI.
; nor.on Dlr. aaaina Yes, give her my love
y How detost that girl, to be sure
% (, A pretty good toa't.-"May you p,..u
oi h,nr drawn and quartcredl iaO
n i,tg9' higb above tho reach Of adY'isl'.
o, M drawn in a carriage Of your own al
~ ~ ouart.rod in the arms oi th0S0 J
be love-
ltb ,Th writer, ANY moro than they can
'sn W. S,,n,orou. ~, ~ soa How Is it when
aot ~ ilul, r,an after counting girl for S''
YEARS YEAR, proposes, she says, "ohl ''OF
ion this is suddenp
ono Physician 0O living skeleton
and Nav York museum: You seem u
as threatened with fatty degenerate
Ill. tbo heart. skeleton; PIE 'umo .
.om- 1o,n onoaoed to the fat woman
,rik- .haro ",r who weighs GA pounds
poor .wbat trials you mu have" said
ward ,.av contemplating famished u
ly to devouring the generous repas' sh'
for nlaced before him. "1's M au,
.t.ol. plae .t Of it is auus get conVic
wuSV - , botween bites.
German General, on inspoetin'
,ans a. the close Of the war, addr
turod toD .rom thus: "Now, my children
very can once moro get seriously TO
rarely Tho nastime Of war Is at an en'
which driIl Ri must go on regularly as
,,.clo. fore"
u'cloS The late James T. Fields had a
'aAoa onocdote OF an English gues
= hroakfast table, who declined
repro .L his coffee. 'Never take
G.,t+' ~ -, mnlo,s " the coffee is very, very
.sIarod ~ aeed, you know" Thea pr
ing ap- after l"s,iu9 e.2n
II has YOU for the sugars
i, 90 was getting measured iof
y ,o+bas this mawning," said 70
Ict. sl si,,v to his pretty cousin, "ana
ecution, Joke. y'know, I awsked Sni
n Pekio, weally took nine tailorS % nun
ashioncd He said it would take more
IOWA by taiIors t to make man Of som
e Broken I thought it was quite ol0vah' :
IS former Enter Irishman (pic<ing u
emned to onnco bottle from the countoT)
/ free e. marnin', ger honor. "h3' A..
y euIprit, the the price Of bottle thi. size.
'coivss at mist-"Two cents, but II you
n vino as - have anything put ia it 1t
4 a goblet, " -, ora cent" 1rishman
to the last then, yer honor shove '0'A
dashed ll on u, A Legitimate" baFnstorm'
gn''i0n % returned to the city on foot c.5
anecossful starring tour in Sh'
ement characters 1,ck he
5 engaged. asked MN "Ats W.. renled
every fool 'Luck, I tno ~ nIaged tC
5 'A' 49, ,e seno lamps, and two Of the
-t..r the first act.