davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1888-07-05
THE ROBUST INVALID.
Burly Milksops who Insist on Playing tn
Parts of Sick Men.

The ROBUST a
Burly Milksops Who Insist on Playing the
PARTS of Sick Men.
One of the most contemplate of Great
ures, in the estimation Of Il real man,
is a robust individual, with q good ap-
petite, who insists on playing sick.
Most Of US shave known such ~full-grOWn
babies-fellows. to use a homely phase,
who are continually mountaineering
themselves. We have n OF these I'M
pleasant persons in II minds eye
ut this moment, and as the members
of the tribe of nuisances to which he
belongs bear Il strong general resem-
blance to each other, Il description OF
his ways will serve as a class portrait
of the imaginary invalid.
He has, in the first place, a Disagree
able, snake-like habit OF thrusting out
his tongue at people, and requesting
an opinion upon its condition. His
pulse troubles him, and when you think
he is coming up to shake hands with
you, it is merely to ask. you to take
him by the wrist, and inform him, by
you watch, at what pace his arterlal
blood is travelling. He will consider
it a favor if you will apply a moderate
pressure to the pit of his stomach, and
give him Il few light experimental
pushes about the region of the liver
When you apply the moderate
pressure" hit him hard; it will do him
good: and you, too. Favor him with
an ofr-hand diagnosis of any disease
YOU may happen to think OF, from
the pip up to cholera or asphyxla,
and he will grasp you by the hand
gratefully and declare you have hit his
symptoms exactly. Discuss the whole
materia medica with him and he will
regard you as a brother. The details ne
will enter into touching his physical
condition may disturb your appetite
but he will go home and eat his pound
of beefsteak, or its equivalent. with
pastry to match, just as usual he
ear 20 through the same unpalataole
narrative Il dozen times a day without
in the slightest degree iInPairing ht'
appreciation of the "delieacies OF the
season. The tenderest woman coulc
not nurse q sick child balf so tenderlJ
as the broad-shouldered beef-eatel
nurses himself.
No doubt the reader has encountered
such a burly milksop as we nave &c
scribed, and perhaps more than enc
Should he run against another, LET hun
volunteer the advice we always give
to such hardy valetudinarians. "stoI
thinking of yourself, stop ceddhne
yourself. stop talking of yourself an'
if nothing else will cure YOU 60 Il
some public hospital and learn VIVA
real suffering is and how it a o'
borne by women, to say nothing aDou
men."--N. Y. Lcdger.
-------- ~
To,.,l Holrac a OF
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1888-07-05

ii Ais
YOU?

no Won feel dull. langlid, low-splrItfi, ute-
less. and indescribably miserable, both pHysi.
caIry and mentally experience q sens Oh
fulIness or bIOating after eating or OF gone
ness or emptiness OF stomach IN the mora
ing. tongue coated, bitter or Dad taste Ia
mouth, irregular appetite, dizziness, frrIuenl
headaches, blurred eyesight, floating sptcks
before the ewes, nervous prostitution or e1-
rs ustion, irritability OF temper. hot hushess
alternating with chilly SENSATIONS sharps
biting, transient pains here ana tn'te' coio
feet. droweiness after meals, wakefulness, o.
dsturbed and unrefresLlnF sleep, CuI!stah.
lndescribable feeling of dread, or OF 4ihpeha-
ing. calamity ,,uhs
of these symptoms, you are ~suNerlHg from
that most common OF American hA'auI,S.
Bilious Dyspepsia, OF Torpid Liver, associated
with Dyspepsia. or Indigestion. me more
complicated your disease ias become TIC
greater the number and diversity OF sELhp-
toms. No matter what stage II has iraCuto.
Dy, Pierce's Golden Medical
will subdue 1t, if taken accorHihR " 4hSe+
tons for a reasonable length of tune, ii not
cured. CONT liCatlons multiply anu CCHhulAP-
ton Of the Lungs. Skin Diseases, Heart Disease.
Rheumatism, Kidney Disease. or other grave
malsdies are quite liable 10 set IN and, sooner
or 4t:el. l99fi9ae q a t tatnha tef%! lssanr.l Dis.
through t6aat great blood purifying organ,
clpgnses the system of al biOod-tRlnfs and IN
purities, from whatever cause arlslflR. 10
equally eticaCiOus in acting upon the no
news, and other eaCret0ry organs, CIeans'hR,
strengthening, and healing Their Diseases AS
an appetizing, restorative tonic, it promotes
digestion and nutrition, thereby building up
both flesh and strength. In mainI III districts,
this wonderful medicine has gained great
celebrity in curing Fever and AeIt, ChlI!s ano
Fever, Dumb Ague, and kindred dlseas.
DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical Disc
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1888-07-05
CURES ALL HuMORS,

from a common Biotch, or Eruption, 10 the
worst ScroflIa. Salt-rheum, Fever-sOres,"
scaIy or Rough SKIN, in short, all diseases
caused by bad blood are conquered by this
powerful. purifying. aud lnvlgoratinE Htf1l-
cine. Great Eating U!cere rapidly hcal uE-,er
ita benign influence. Especially has II mani
tested It's potency in curing letter, Eczema,
ErysIpelas, Bolls, Cartuncics, Sore Eyes. ScTot-
ul0us Sorcs and Swtliiugs, Hip-jOlnt Disease.
"White Swcl!ings," GOitre, or Thick Neck,
and Enlarged Glands. Send ten cent? n
stamps for a large Treatise, with c"I"red
plates, on SKIN Diseases. or tn" same RH4uGnG
for q Treatise Oh Ncrofulous Affections.
"FoR THE BLOOD IS THE LIFE"
ThOroughlv cleanse it by using DIR. PicrCe's
Golden Medical Discovery, and good
digestion. a fair skin, buOyant spirits, vital
Strength and bodily health VIII he established.
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1888-07-05

Joseph Hodges. a composltor on
the Savannah (Ga.) independent, has
been sixty-two years at the case.
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1888-07-05

TUE sphere of the weather prophet-at
no.sphgre.
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1888-07-05

WRITE to A. C. PARKER & Co.. Memphis,
Tenn, for prices of ELEVATOR r KIFYISG
PUMPS y CHAIN PUMPS. State depth of
your cistern or well. Superior quality, low
prices, and satisfaction guaranteed.
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1888-07-05

FISHING for compliments is doubtful
mort.
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1888-07-05
The Vote in 1880, 1884 and 1886.

OUR musical sharp says the biggest thing
in music is grand opera. because it has the
most aria.-PiuSJar0h Chrvnic,f.
IT is not altogether strange that a bee
trothal should lead to a honeymoon.
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1888-07-05

WOMEN Admiration win who use Glenn's
sulphur soap to improve the SKIN.
Hills Hair and Whisker Dye, 50c.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1888-08-10

These grasshoppers, as If aware that
their beauty resided In their wings, rise
in the air to sing The noise is made by
rubbing the upper edge of the true wings
against the under surface of the wing
covers. have often watched them while
In this aerial position, and wondered If
the song was always a love call If be-
haeior means anything among grasshop-
pers, they have at times, especially late
In the season, other business aside from
love making. Many times | have OBJ
served one Of these creatures mount up
few feet above the ground, calling, call
ing, until sometimes half a dozen OF
more would congregate beneath him,
when he would drop down in their midst
and touch the head of each as if consult
ing about some grave matterj then the
little flock would disperse and the must
clan, or orator, or whatever he was,
would go to another place and call another
crowd. and after the harangue he would
again alight and communicate with each
individual. As far as | could sec there
was no love making connected with this
affair.
Entomologists who have made the
brains of insects study tell us that the
orthoptera, especially the grasshoppers,
have good development of brain, but not
equal to the ants, or to the social bees
and wasps.
Another class of grasshoppers remain
on the ground to play. These are the
violinists among the musicians; they use
their hind legs for bows, which they draw
across strings situated in the wing covers.
The Rocky mountain locust (Coloptenus
spretus) belongs to this class. And here
is an instance where an insect ceases to
be insignificant and becomes great and
mighty power in the land, compelling the
government to supply men and means to
try and thwart the vast armies that sweep
over sections of the west devouring al
vegetation before them.-Mary Treat In
the Chautauquan.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1888-08-10

Summer Is the season of growth and
physical prosperity for everything, sn-
innate or inanimate, except man In the
four season climates, and even there some
exceptions prove what the rule might be-
The farmer sweats freely while hoeing In
his cornfeld, but, with his straw hat suit
of light jeans and bare feet he feels the
same grateful exhilaration as the veg
etating shoots which spring up greenly
about him. The pores of his skin are
open for every passing breeze, and the
wet drops which soak into his light
clothing are not an expense account upon
his physical bank.
A similar regulation of clothing prevails
in hot climates. The Hindoo who works
all day In the rice fields Is not subject to
sunstrol1es. Australians, Cubans and
Mexicans live easily during six months Of
hot weather because they know how to
adapt themselves to climatic conditions
as fatal as pestilences In the cities of this
part Of the globe during some weeks of
the summer, The Greeks, IN the days
when Athens was great, when Pericles or
Alcibiades ruled and Socrates, Plato, Zeno
or Pythagoras were living thinkers. did
not suffer from heat In their robes of
snowy linen. And the Romans OF the
heroic age when Virgil sang, Cicero talked
and Cesar led armies to victory, thought
summer a delightful season Of happiness
and comfort.
The same possibilities exist for men of
today. If they will only clothe themselves
sensibly and diet reasonably Now York
Press.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1888-08-10

How do you mark a cardG' said
Graphic man to Charley Mosster as he
stood on Fourteenth street and Sixth ave-
nue. last night watching the world as it
passed
Easy enough" was his answer 1--WE
do 1t in the same way that the blind man
reads-by the sense of feeling, Before
we can read these cards they must be put
in shape. This Is done with a ring which
Is worn on the most convenient finger.
On the inside of the ring--I mean the
part under the fnger-is little steel
spur, not sharp enough to penetrate the
cards and make n hole which would be
detected, but slight indentation re-
sembling pimple, on the back of the
card, but so small that with close obser-
walton it would not be noticed
"This we cannot see, but we can feel
1t, and the location is the cipher to the
denomination of the card. OF course we
have to see and handle the cards before we
they can be marked, but as we can handle
from five to ten cards each deal, it does
not take long to have all the important
cards punctured. Reading cards marked
In this way is easy to me. have one sys-
TEN as TO the location of marks, and it Is
just as simple as telling the same by the
location Of the hands of clock In the
absence of the regular dial figures. Sharp
players make their punetures so slight
that they cannot be detected by the ordi-
nary sense of feeling.
"The reading is then done with the ball
of the thumb from which the outer cuticle
has been removed by acid. The mother
skin is very tender, and readily responds
when 1t comes in contact with the mark.
Greeks Of this class can be detected by
Watching the thumb of the right hand in
dealing. If it has a sliding motion up and
down the cards then you can bet two to
one that the dealer has got book for the
blind TO read. New York Graphic.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1888-08-10

1t was Fourth Of July ae had been
inhaling o good deal Of powder smoke.
So he said. 1t was not liquor; he said
the fumes of the firecrackers had gone to
his head. They had not bereft him of
reason He knew he had wife and fam
lily. When man gets to his fullest ca
pacity of inebriatiOn, when he has for
gotten where he lives, who is with HIM
whether II is Tuesday or Saturday, or
what his name is, he will still remember
that his wife has to. be reckoned with
He knew that there was trouble ahead,
and he was thinking of all sorts Of queer
excuses for his condition as he wandered
to and fro looking for hack to take him
home At last he came across dingy
looking machine standing in solitary dig
nifty at the corner of quiet street. He
was not so far gone that he could not di-
rect the driver where to take him 1t
was some way out In the suburbs. The
hack drove along and as he bumped from
back to front IN the usual erratio way one
does In hack, he tried hard to make up
his mind what he would say to his wife
when he got home.
There came very lively bumb that put
an end 10 his musing, for when he came
down lie found the bottom had fallen out
of the hack and the seat had come to
pieces. SO he could only grasp hold Of the
two doors aud run with the machine He
yelled at the driver, but the driver was
deaf, and for half mile he had TO move
as fast as his legs would go. He did not
need any excuse when he got home He
was sober; so terribly sober that he had
forgotten he had had anything to drink at
all. He was mad--well, mad is a mild
word-but he was knocked speechless
when the hackman. after looking earnestly
into the hack, instead of offering an
humble apology, turned on him and said;
Say, what In thunder have you done
with tho bottom Of my hack2"
And whenever his wife wants anything
she asks him in the blandest tones
"John, what did you do with the bot
tom Of that hack2"--San Francisco Chron.
icle "Undertones.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1888-08-10

A foreign paper notices the death at
Venice, Italy, of Maj Won Hruschka, the
inventor of the honey extractor. He was
O retired Austrian officer, and the inven-
tion of the honey extractor occurred in
this way; His apiary was In Italy and
one day when he was In his apiary his lit
tie boy came there. The boy had small
tin pail tied to string, which he was
swinging in circle, holding the end Of
the string in his hand. The indulgent
father gave the youth a small piece of
comb filed with honey, putting II into
the little pail The boy after awhile be-
gan to swing the pail again as before,
with the honey In it. A few moments
after he became tired Of that amusement
and put the pail down to talk to his
father, who took 1t up, and, by chance,
noticed that the honey had left the comb
and settled down into the pail, leaving
the comb perfectly clean that had been on
the outside of the circle when the boy
was swinging it around. The major won
dered at the circumstance, and turning
the comb over bade the boy swing 1t
again, when, to his great astonishment,
the other side of the comb also became
perfectly clean, all the honey being ex-
tracted and lying at the bottom of the
pail.
DurlllB Vut lOlluNluB luBuu huJ Nol
Hruschka, after going to bed commenced
to think the circumstance over. On the
morrow he commenced series of expert
ments which resulted in his giving TO the
world the first honey extractor which, by
whirling something like his son whirled
that little tin pail, gave him the pure
liquid honey, extracted by centrifugal
force, leaving the honey comb entirely
free from the liquid sweet which he gave
again to the bees to fill, allowing him the
pure honey for making wine, mead, and
metheglin or honey cakes, as desired,
without employing the troublesome and
primitive method in use up to that
time of mashing up the combs containing
the honey, pollen, and sometimes brood
too, to let the honey drain through the
cloth in which it was placed, giving what
was formerly known as strained honey"
Chicago Times.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1888-08-10
Not "A Humane Rife

1t was promised for the new Iebei
(French) repeating rife that 1t was
humane, either killing outright Or disa.
bling, but not tortuIing with the frightful
wounds made by single 6rers Of large cali
ber and indeed, so far as known, the
magazine guns as well. Recent expert
ments, however, have shown that the 8
millimeter Lebel magazine gun Is no more
humane than that of II millimeter caliber.
The experiments were conducted by
Capt. Jaricot, his men firing into dead
bodies and at live animals at distances Of
200, 400, 600, 1000, l, 400, 1000 and 1900
meters, and the result, as summed up by
DR.. Delorme, are that the orifce made by
the entrance of the eight millimeter bah
is smaller than that OF its going out, the
same varying from four TO SIX millime-
ters. according TO the velocity OF the bnl.
lets-the power of the new steel projec-
tile being greater than that Of It's prede-
cessor, the bones offering less resistance,
and there being consequently less dehec-
tion of the bullets. The hope that the
bones would have clear" fracture, with
little of the splintering which Is so pain
full, has not been realized. On the con
trary, the bono Is "shivered" would
perhaps more nearly express what DR..
Delorme says In the article he writes on
'Chirurgie de Guerre." And yet he says
that the effects Of the new rifle, us used
at present, are tritling compared TO what
they will be when the new explosives,
melinite, roburite, ETC., are used. --Soien.
tiio American,
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1888-08-10
An Unknown Matrimonial Law.

Sometimes | think that there must be
some kind of unknown law that regulates
the marriage question, over which man.
kind has no control. 1t frequently hap
pens that the licenses on a particular day
will nearly all be taken out by persons
living in particular section of the city
in the northern, southern, eastern, western
or central portions, as the circumstances
may be. A few days age nearly every
license, and there were quite number.
were taken out by persons residing In the
noticed this popularity to occur with con
siderable regularity, and | have never
been able to account for it.--Marriage
License Clerk In Globe Democrat.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1888-08-10

One of the most curious customs that
attract tho attention of strangers In
Panama is to see the native women walk.
ing along the street smoking long. slen-
der cigars in much the fashion that men
do here. 1t is the custom Of the women
there to gather In the public markets as
early as sunrise to gossip and talk over
affairs while enjoying their morning
smoke. As there are few newspapers Ia
Panama, and proportionately small
number of readers. the market is the
place where the news Of the town is to tn
learned. New York Evening World.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1888-08-10
Coffee Among the Arabs.

The great event of the visit is tho
coffee. The host has n kind of brazen
shovel brought, in which he roasts tho
beans; then he takes u pestle and mortar
Of the oak of Bashan, and with his own
hands he pounds it to powder, making
the hard oak ring forth n song of wei,
come to the guest. Many OF these
pestles and mortars are heirlooms, and
are richly ornamented and beautifully
black and polished by age aud use; such
was the one In question. Having drunk
coffee (for the honored guest the cup is
filled three times), you are quito safe in
the hands OF the most murderous.
30 far do they carry this superstition
that man who had murdsred another
lied to the dead mans father, and before
no knew what had happened drank coffee.
Presently friends came in, and, as they
wero relating the news to the bereaved
father, recognized the murderer crouohed
beside the fire They instantly demanded
vengeance. mo" said the father, 1T
cannot bei he has drunk coffee and has
thus become TO me as my SON" Had he
not drunk coffee the father would never
have rested until he had dyed his hands
IN his blood, As It was, II Is said he
further gave him his daughter TO wife,
Last Journal of Bishop Harrington,
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1888-08-10

Tho art of proof reading, which exists
in very crude state in this country, has
been brought TO high degree of perfec-
tion by The London Times. Five years
ago Lord Winchelsea made bet that he
would find thirty misprints in six mum.
bers Of The Times. The stakes were
$500 and $50 additional for every blunder
prints were discovered. Lord Winchelsea
lost nearly s2,000.-New Orleans Times.
Democrat,
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1888-08-10

GLOW much do you suppose it COSTS"
asked the eccentric statistician, ito pay
for wear and tear on buggy9"
He asked the question to answer It, Of
course, and replied: ut takes two cents
n mile. That has been figured out by
owners of carriage works, and that Is the
lowest figure. Two cents mile for .
buggy driven at trot, next come heavy
wagons with loads fraction higher, and
buggies behind speedy horses are higher
still About three cents mile Is tho
highest, and the wear and tear on all
kinds of vehicles run between two and
three cents a mile the kind of paving,
whether it is sheet or stone, having con-
siderable to do with It, "-"Man About
Town" In Buffalo News.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1888-08-10
somnambulist,s Good Fortune.

The danger of somnambulism is we'll
known. A writer in The Century tells Of
a piece of good fortune coming from the
habit. A young lady, troubled and anx-'
ious about prize for which she was to
compete, involving the writing Of an
essay, arose from her bed in sleep and
wrote paper upon a subject upon which
prize Chicago Herald.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1888-08-10
OUTLINED.

! often hear Il spoken now, the name
That once had power my Innost soul 10 thrill
To klndle all my face with sudden flame,
And all my heart with secret rapture hll.
] listen calmly 10 Il, wondering
Where vanished they-those old time hops
and fears
That used 10 bianch my cheek, or swiftly bring
Before my sight q binding mist OF tears
meet the eyes now, tranquil, unooncerned,
Where once a single frightened glance stois--
Those eyes that long ago a pathway burned
Into the inner temple Of my soul.
] hear the old, familiar voice, unmovcd,
Whose faintest tone was music In that day;
No quickencd pulse procaims theivoice beloved,
My quiet heart goes steadfast on her way.
No bitterness no shadow of regret
Comes up TO mar my peace with secret doubt;
would not live the past again, nor yet
BE quite content 20 have IL botted out.
Wan memry, lowering near the far of grave
OF our young love. calls back, across the waste,
That all she finds h cold and llfeless save
The few pale mourning flowers herself has
placed.
Sleep on, thou short lived love; thy grave is deep;
Thy life was bitter but thy rest is sweet;
Though oer thy burial place none pause to weep,
1t is approached by none save unshod feet.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1888-08-10
A Horrible Possibility.

Editor-I see the clerks in dry goods
and grocery stores are forming an early
closing movement. Write stirring edi-
toIial standing up for the clerks and do
nouncing their heartless, grasping- en-
ployers.
Assistant notice that similar move
ment has also been started by the poorly
paid and overworked bartenders.
"Eh2 Wha-i Guess you'd better write
on the tariff today. Omaha World.