The Washington critic., 1888-03-31
WATEM "CRAWFISHES."
The Jedge RCpndiatcs His Remarks
Before the WOman's Council.
THE BALLOT BOX FOR MEN
The Band Box for Women, and
PettiCoats for the Goddess
of Liberty.


cred Jclee Waxem, and slipped into q
seat beside him, II was after 8 o'clock
and Miss Willard had the floor
"Shesa mighty smooth woman whis-
percd the Jcdge, with a nod, putting out |
his hand in salutation.
The scribe acquiesced with spirit.
what do you think Of the perform |
ance7'' he asked, also in whisper,
"rm ag'in en-, said the Jedge "Look |
at tins bin OF fare. Here's Constitutional |
Rights of Women, Women in Politics.
School Suffrage Municipal Suffrage |
and Suffrage in the Territories; and all |
of the female gender. It's wonder thar |
aint u discussion whether er no u ballot |
boz ought to be cut bias or gored.'
The sC,ibe was shocked.
why. jCdgp, he huarscly exclaimed,
'what DO oU mean Thought you were
q wOnlan'S Fighter. Didn't you make n
spcccb for them Monday
YES, did" he replied. with some
hesitation, but my icclin's has under
went change. That speech was diplo
matte ruther'n actual expression of my
views and n Slaie>nan's puoilc utter'
aDces ourhtn' to bc taken ~ any sign OF
of his private opinions, uOhOw. He's go'
10 hedge, more or loss even when votes
amt toe direct obieck. When thar's II
woman in the case he got TO be devious,
yOu know
The scribe assentcG, and the Jelge con
tinued:
when ] made that speech | was
laberin' under delu~ion. didn't know
that religion, Temperance, moral reform,
reClainin' the erin legal rights, the
development Of mercy, dress reform, hos
pital work woman in the ministry, and
all, vast be secured intrely through
The ballot-boS. ] knowed what votes was
10 "a. statesmen, but / didn't know the
woln' had it, too and wuSs than we
DID
SO you are not with them on
sutinge?'
dom an the good they kin in ther own
way, but haul up at putin Mother
Bn5bard onto the ballot box. Ther goes
another one" he said, suddenly, as q
new speaker came forward Les sit out
whar we can do little of the talkin
OurselVCs.'
The scribe was willing and the two
went ont and strolled along leisurey to-
ward the Jedge's home.
~ cant quite get over your change OF
mind. Jedge," said the scribe.
"'Taint that eggsackly," replied the
Jedge; my mind is purity much like II
was only I've got more light. | want
the dear critters to have ther rights, but
j don't want 'cm to ask fer EN- in a bass
voice. ! never did like TO hear woman
tllkin' bass. Ner don't like to hear n
hen crow, no moren do to hear rooster
cackle. It's ag'in mater, young feller, and
when It happens, thar's a screw loose
some whars.n
'But how are the women TO acquire
Their, rights except through the ballot
boEY'
''By the power they've got, er ought 10
have, over ther husbands and ther sons.
Ef woman can't influence her husband
and teach her sons TO treat her far and
suuar', what kin she do with other 1nen ?'
'But suppose she has neither husband
nor sOnsY'
"Thar's the bullet-hule, Young ieller
It's mostly them that aint got husbands
and sons ms is raisin' all the rnmpus
Women is born 10 mission, aud men is
Tier mission one way er tother. FL mater
takes its course. they love US, and hus
bands and children is the result; Ell u
don't, they turn ther nose up At Us, ant
hapOt. boxes and britchcs gifts TO tiyin
through the air.
The ladies may want TO vote, Jedge
bDt they certainly have no desire to adOp
tie exterior garniturc of man.
"Tapts, you mean ~ qreried the Jedge
The scribe nodded
'Well, now, young teller, they do
That's them that bankers most fer votes
and mark my words cf they had EN-
they'd expect the men 10 sew the button
on, er they'd go round with ther gallusse
fastened with nail or Il splinter. Bu
they'd know the Constitution from y q
lizard, and could run thread through
the finest pint OF the law"
Don't you think woman is man
equal ~
'"Pions, moral and social, she's his boss
physical and political she amt in the RIM
al ALL Women is the proper trimm' II
fer homes and meetin'-houses, but W
lnp'f want no I'll M pS and HOunppS tl
stars and stripes we don't want the Cor
stitutiun made low neck and short sleeves
and we don't want the ballot box stutie
with anything but what mater intended
We air wIllin' to let the Goddess of Libert
wear bangs and hustle, but pant
never"
HAS woman, then, no sphere?"
ain course, she has. Thars the kitchel
and the parlor, the needle and the cradl
the church and society. Did you ever see
woman that tended to that sort of spei
that had time TO be monkeyin' round f
her rights? It's babies not ballots, tn
women ought to have, and I'd ruther 81
one good lookinr mother with a CROWN
rosy.cheeked, blue-eyed baby in her arm
than TO see thousand walkin' in pc
cession carryin' on ther shoulders Il
Government of the greatest Nation 9
earth. ] jedge a woman more by, d
meal of vlctuals that she can cook tina
by the speeches she can make, and eyel
man that's got healthy stummick and
clear brain thinks after the san
fashion,"
lyon are a regular old iogy, Jedg
away behind the times" ventured u
scribe.
HAnd I'm doggone glad of it, your
feller. wasn't brought UP in boardi
house, and my mother spent good de
more Of her time stayin' at home spank
large and inIerestin' family, and oth'
ways administerln' 10 ther wants, thi
she did gallivantin' round the countT
passin' resolutions, and nppin' her ORE
ont at the sleeves reachin' fer somethi
she didn't want, and wouldn't know VIII
10 do with ef she got. Mebbe my ear
eddicaiion was neglected, but ef IL WI
the sutierin' fer il ain livery disagreeable
you speak for YOURSELF OF cour
Jedge, but have you noticed that qnit'
number of husbands are heartily enlist
with their wives in securing the retorI
they desire"
"Yes, I've noticed that, too, said t
Jedge, tearing of chew of long green
an emphatic manner, land I've motto
that them same husbands was NJ
Nancy sort OF fellers fathers Of child,
registers Mrs. niarier smith and b., a.
put In ther time cacklin' while II
wives was doin' the CROWN"
That's pretty severe"
lit don't make no difference Ell II
Them felieKs don't v, te. The'r WHY
won't let 'em. and man that don "
don't skeer me away from expressin' |
opinion right TO The pint. I'm sta.
man. bat ] aint no coward"
"Do you believe these councils are p
ductive Of good2"
'Yes. In way, bat not in way
politics. As long as women organize
40 womenis work, the world wishes tn
God speed; but when they set themsel'
mp as the proper Instruments 70 do ma
work, then thar is balk, and the char