Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-11-09
NO CHICAGO MEN FOR HIM.
He Had Had One Experience, Whic
Was Amply Sufficient.


From the Arkansaw Traveller.
A party of Chicago capitalists, prospecting in
mountainous region of Tennessee, stopped
near log cabin and inquired of an old and
angular fellow who came forward if they could
get something to eat.
II reckon you mout," the old fellow replied.
"Sorter travelling / reckon?
Eyes, prospecting"
How prospecting"
Looking after mining lands
"Ah, hah! julie calling to his wife) put on
potful OF turnips an fling middlin' of meat
on the fire. Jest get out, gentlemen, an tie
yo' bosses thar ter the fence. Whar mout you
be TRUMP
Chicago" one of the men replied.
What! Wall you neenter tie yo HOSES here.
Say, thar, julie, take the turnips outen the pot
an snatch the middlin' often the fire.
"Why, what's the natter"
Wall, I'll tell you an then you can go erbout
yo bizness. Erbout two weeks ergo | was
workin' down yander in the fier when long
come Teller and axed me if could send him
over ter the railroad erbout ten miles from here.
told him that was so powerful busy that !
could not spare my boss. Wall said he, .ef
that's the case l reckon I'll have to skuze YOU.
Then he took out a pint bottle, shuck it, an
said
" I reckon I've got some of the smoothest
Ticker here you ever seed. Jine me-.
Il turned loose my pillow han'les an lined
him. Wy it was treat All this country is
prohibition, an you KANT git a drap fur the
warmest love nur the brightest money. know
that had ter send 40 miles for er pint bottle
full ter keep in the house in case Nv sickness
an know that many a time had wanted ter
swig it but hilt off on ercount of its precious
ness. so that when that Teller handed me his
bottle jest opened my valve.
Don't be erfeerd Nv techin' it, said he,
fur am goin' whar thar's plenty mo- to be
hxI.. - fo1ff
an KEEP on. The birds sang pulitzer. an all
at once l noticed that big saw-legged grass
hopper that had been worryin' me all the
morn turned loose with the incest sort NV er
clatter; an a ole hawk that had KEEP er bad eye
on er dominicker hen an chickens all day.
tapped his wings an sailed away.
Then opened my valve agin, an amejit)y
the birds in the woods tuck up some new song ).
The dancin' black gnats that had erwhile befo
'peared ter be so ugly, now had silver on ther
wings an err pantin' lizard that set on the fence
seemed like er thing NV beauty.
THAT'S what / call silk velvet said my
friend. / said Yes an then opened my valve
ag'in. / thought Nv my bottle Nv whisky at
home, an wuz thankful that l had not toch it.
"Off yander whar the blue smoke Nv the
meet the sky-now, hole, gentlemen, don't git
restless, fur want you ter hear me clean ter
the eend.
"'Shes mon hat gone said my friend, but
l want you ter un erstan that er Chicago man
amt erfeered Nv the bottom NV nothin'. Smite
her hip an thigh, ez the Bible says. wush you
could have some Teller take me over ter the
railroad said he.
81 don't know, but we kin make some range
ments. says l, fur you've wound me up
nightly, tell you
"'Oh, don't want ter put you ter no trou-
ble,' says he. 'Thar's Jest erbout one mo- drink
in that bottle. Finish her up Wall, I fin
ished her, an then / called to my son Bill, ]
did. BILL says l. unhitch this here hoss frum
the pillow, hitch him ter the carry-all, an take
this here gentleman ter the railroad
bill he done So an that Chicago man, after
shakin' me warmly by the ham, rode away.
went out ter the house bout the time the sun
set
90 Wife, says I, 'dinged eff dent meet the
high priest an the elder an the scribe, all in
one; Just now
II told her, an the tears come ter her eyes
fur wife has got CIR mighty heap nv sympathy
in her natur. Vas, sab, wife she cried, and
lowed she would lack nightly ter have seed
the fellow. Il wuz erway after dinner she
said, 'ur mout er seed him.
"'Wife," says !, 'bein's ez this here is Ell
that pint bottle nv ticker an take er couple u,
small snorts.'
''Wall, she was agreeable, an started ter
rummage fur the bottle, but she couldn't find
ii. fined in after q while, an sahs, we soor
found out that my frien', the Chicago man, hai
stole my bottle in the fust place, an had beer
givin me my own ticker. 30, gentlemen, YOU
neenter hitch yo' HOSES. Say, thar, julie
empty them turnips outen the pot, and snatch
the midlin nv meat ofrn the fire."
There were TWENTY-FIVE new cases Of yellow