The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1888-07-13
CURRENg WIT.

- .N#N APNNtAAF .H~a
Miss Coenlgton-Amd when we are
married, dear, / hope you won't
smoke those horrid. odious cigars
around thehouse. Mr.. Ellington
Why, no, darlingl ] think d pipe is
much more homelike; don't you?
An Allentown tailoring firm en-
ployes a young woman to collect
from the swell customers who are in
elined to shrink paying honest debts.
This seems to explode the old saying
that womEanls work is never dun"
A little gfrlwas walking along the
street with her mother, and, noticing
q negro woman wheeling a white ba-
by in a carriage, said: Mamma, is
that baby that woman's child?'
why, no, / guess not. Why doyou
ask" ''Well, if its hers, / think she
had dreadful poor taste. Why didn't
she get O. babysto Iaatch?'
Here's an account Of IA buildin'
that fell down, an ,ev,ry one in it
vas taken out alive. Old Mrs. Bent
" (knitting)-Oh, my, how dreadful
Every one taken out alive! Dear,
dear! Old Mr.. Bently Cooking sharp
lyoverhis speetacles)
Give cents fare for that child,
madam" said asstreet ear conductor
as he opened the door and put his
head into the car. Very weIl,' she
replied, feeling in her pocket; "this is
an orphan child and / am it's guard
ian. | must have "a receipt for all
moneys paid out, and as soon. as
you write one I'll drop a nickel in the
box" He shut the door;aDd leanded
over the brake like mani in deep
thought.
Getting His Moneys WORTH
Dealer-'That hats worth two dol
lars and a hall, but I viii let you, as
a friend, have it for two dol
lars" Brown-"A1 right; but, say,
the fifty cents goes with the hat,
don't it?"-Life.
Bobby (whossuneie has given him
a d~ollarl-'T wish you would give me
a nickel, Uncle James, instead of a
dollar.n
Uncle James (astonished)-"But,
Bobby, adollar is better than a nick
ell"
"That's the trouble; fits a dollar
pail want it; if it's only a nickel, /
can have it. "-Epoch
Harsh treatment-Bobby 0ook-
ing out Of the UNDERGRADUATES the
matter with that horse, mamma?"
Mother-"The horse is halky Bobby;
lie won't obey his driver. Bobby
Well, what's the man patting him
for?" Mother-"Heis eoaxing him. /"
Bobby with an injured air)-"That
amt the way you treat me when I'm
balky. Life.
a great many people are content
with very little gossip, and that
little goes a long way with them.
They remindu us OF the old collored man
lin ante-bellnm times. His pious
mistress, one beautiful Sabbath marn-
ing when there was preaching in Tie
meighborhood, suggested that he
ahonldgo to church and hear Brother
Nv. preach. "Missus," replied be, Il
hain't forgot what he said when /
was dar last. When | forgit all dat
Use gwine back and get more"
1Fainywould ! write a poem on the
delightscof fishing; but, an, mel /
cannot find a word to rhyme with
1angleworm. sighed P~isistratus,' ais
be gazed thoughtfulIy into the dark
sullen waters. "But why must you
put that word at the end of a liner
queried Eucalyptus. Because an
a~ngleworm is always at the end Of a
line,s Kissed Pisistratus between his
set teeth and for a long time it was
so still that one could distinctly hear
a peach blow.
Martha, said a minister to hls5
wife, II have some sad news to break
to you and you viii need all your
courage to bear the burden Of the
crushing and unexpected blow 30,
John, she exclaimed, s'and we have
been so happy in onr home aud chill
drenl'' know Il, Martha" he rel
spOnded, h0arseiyY out whom tie
Lord loveth he chasteneth. z John,
dear she said with true wifely cour-
are and devotion, tell me what it
is; let me share it with you "a do
nation party"
Sister Jenkiason, said the new
minister, who was soliciting contri-
buttons for the heather, don't you
hear the cry OF our benighted fellow
creatures in foreign lands2" "Heyls
said the sister, inclining her right ear
toward the pastor. The question
WAS repeated IN a louder tone. Law
sakes, nor replied Sister Jenkinson.
Il 10 so awful hard o'hearing that :
can hardly hear soul
The sheriff 81 Hardin countyfound
49, ~~lfwo~ q Iw~ a,Ia~r4L1~