Smyrna times., 1888-11-14
Mr.. Bowser's Love Letters.
BY MRS. BOWsER,

BY MRS. BOwsER.
Some time since I referred to the
fact that 1 had carefully preserved. ar
ranged and filed all of Mr.. Bowser's
love letters, and advised every bride
to do the same thing. now desire to
reiterate that advise. l really don't
know how l could get along with Mr..
BOwser if l did not have this leverage
on him. Like all other husbands he
has his sudden fits and hours of forget
tulness. He wanted pair of pincers
TO use for something, and because thew
were not right at hand he made a ges-
ture of despair and exclaimed:
oh, of course! 1 must get used to
1t, suppose! Such a housekeeper as
you are, Mrs. Bowserl I"
Here they are. You left 'em on
the lounge yourself, last night"
Lay it to me, of course WHAT'S
that yOung'un believing about now PD
" He fell down."
Doesn't he know enough to stand
"No."
1t didn't? I ordered it the first
thing this morningl This is the worst
run house in the city !''
Do run the wood-yards ?"
"But why didn't YOU tell me If
hadn't come up? It's a wonder the
bles."
She went an hour ago |"
MT. BoWser sat down and looked at
me long time. Then he sighed deep
ly and said:
Well, suppose 1 must stand it.
but it's hard-very hard. This is what
comes of marrying a girl who has been
brought up on caramels and novels"
L went up stairs and brought down
the package of letters. Selecting one
marked: " Exhibit Allied Sept. TO-
1884, " began to read:
My Angel One-I send YOU another
box OF caramels and five of the latest
novels, and hope you will thoroughly
enjoy them. You were lamenting the
fact that you knew so little of house.
work. l am glad of it. Angels are
not expected to fry pork and wash
dishes. You shall have dozen house,
keepers when we are married, and Won
shall never know a household care.n
-" That's a base forgery !' shouted
Mr.. Bowser as 1 finished reading.
On, no, it isn't. 1 expected the dav
would come when you would saw so
and so l prepared for it. See here
M mother attests it as a witness"
Well, If wrote it 1 must have
been asleep"
And only the other day Mr.. Bow
ser, when l got new dress home. you
SAID L hadn't any more taste than a
clam, and that my ideas of harmony
would stop clock"
," Yes, and 1 meant it. You were
always that way"
Was ?"
l selected letter marked Exhibit
A-2-hled Sept. 18, 1884" and read:
My Beautiful-The picture of nv
dear one as she appeared to me last |
night has been with me all dav. You
have the taste of queen in YOUR toilet |
and harmony is second nature with
you. Oh ! my little angel. vou''-
" 1 Wrote that, did n" sternlv de-
manded Mr.. Bowser.
"Of course"
Never /! The man who says I was
must die!" ''OH
" 1t is duly attested, Mr.. Bowser, and
you can't deny your writing. I
haven't changed a bit in nv tastes
since our marriage. Indeed, think l
have improved"
There goes that young'un again I
ID he isn't happy unless he is bellering
like a calf mired in ditch"
But see here, Mr.. Bowser."
And selected telegram marked
Exhibit B-1-Original," and attested
Dy father, mother and nurse, and
:, CHICAGO, Nov. 20, 1Ss7.-My Oar
ling, Thank God for the news of the
Olrth of our sOnI My heart sweIls
with love and gratitude. It is our
Dopd OF love. Heaven has surely
6lest us. Again, thank God. Will be
home Sunday night. Bowser."
l never sent tt" shouted Bowser
Yes, you did Here is the proof
to convinct you. There isn't mention
ABOUT calf in this, and as for 'belIer-
ing you never dreamed of it."
Oh, well, have it your own wav.
ou'd have the last word if I was
qylng. Some wives are built that wav.
Ii was like some husbands I'd assert ,
my authority"
But you are not, Mr.. Bowser. as t
this will prove"
And l selected a letter marked 9
: Exhibit C-1-Original, and attest :
I'd, and read:
MY DEAREST LOvEY-In reference Q
70 our conversation last night. I wish e
% say that l have always held and al Y
ays shall hold that husband and wife
should be equal in authority. Neither
has that right to dictate to the other
,nough II either had the right I would t.
sive It all to you. We shall never have s
Word OF dlspute-nOt one. If there r
any bossing' you may do it."
And do you dare charge me with \
writing such stuff as that ?" gasped Mr., n
3owser. "
| do. Here is the proof, and you b
ant wiggle out of it." n
wrote Dearest Lovey,' did IPD b
You did. Indeed, Mr.. Bowser, YOU n
Vere far gone about those days" il
l was, ehl Well, you can't make
le believe that ever wrote any such
1ternal bOsh as that You'll next &
narge me with writing you up in "a
" You even did that, sir. Just waltz NJ
selected letter marked: Exhibit nj
livery choice" and read: q
The twilight cometh softly down, h,
As sinks the sun away -
And little children go TO bed, OF
All weary with their play, NJ
Where is my love this glorious eve: Ds
Where doth her proud foot rest I;
And where that head of golden hair n.
Which shall ever bless hi
And you say wrote thatr" whis-
cred Mr.. Bowser.
You did. It's q beautiful thing. he
70. can see those little children 90. na
e right to bed. You spoke of nv su
Ioofs' the other day, and YOU had W,
ur about red-headl Only four years i'm
90 it was my proud foot and my on
Olden head.'n be
He was silent. co
Do you want any more, Mr.. Bow ga
'r?" / asked. 10,
Mrs. BOwser, I don't say that you ms
9 not as good as the average wife.
10 do saw that Won hova a ,,,s~bA,-