The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1888-09-06
MARK TWAIN'S GIRLS.
The Noted Humorist Kills Time by ANUS
ing the Children.
[Chicago Tribune Interview.

Chicago Tribune Interview.
Mark Twain, travelling incognito
under the name of rs. L. Clemens,
one wife, three children, one maid"
was at the Richelleu hotel. He leaned
on the stone steps in front of the hotel,
smoking putative cigar. Mark
TWain's literary fame is so great that
it has somewhat cast into the shade
his abilities as smoker. He smokes
. like an artist. He holds the cigar be-
tween his finger and thumb, and con-
templates it in a dreamy fashion.
Then he raises it slowly to his lips,
draws gently, and closes his eyes.
After judicious interval he removes
the cigar, and the smoke rolls out
under his long mustache with all the
grace of a first dancer drifting on the
stage. Then he opens his eyes. Mark
Twain looks as little like himself as it
is possible for a man to look. He wore
gray suit, a tall white hat, and a
wide white tie such as New York
brokers affect. His long, dropping
mustache, his we'll curled hair, and
somewhat profuse jewelry made one
think of successful. horseman or the
manager of a popular burlesqne.
But no one ever had such a satisfac-
tory drawl. 1t established the fact
that he was Mark Twain beyond all
possibility of quibbling. A woman
could "do up" her hair twice while he
is pronouncing the word Mississippi.
He fingers over it, plays with it, handles
it as young mother does her first
baby.
ave came in last night" he said,
pulling at the left side of his mustache.
Mrs. Clemens is not very well, neither
am I. I have been amusing the chill
dren. I have taken them to pano-
rama. I understand there are three
others near here. I will take them
there too, I want to satiate them
with battles-it may amuse them."
Three little girls composed of three
red gowns, three red parasols and six
blue stockings stood on the steps and
grinned.
"Run up and tell mamma what a
jolly time you've had and I'll think Of
something else to amuse YOU"
THREE LITTLE GIRLS.
When the three little girls had dis
appeared Mr.. Clemens sighed. "Did
you ever try to amuse three little girls
at the same time? ?n he asked, after a
pause; "it requires genius. I wonder
whether they would like to bathe in the
lake," he continued, with sudden ami
nation, hardly pausing five minutes
between each word, ''it might amuse
them."
care you on your vacation trip, Mr..
Clemens?"
"No; have just returned from a
visit to my mother in Keokuk, Iowa.
She is SO years old and I had not been
home for over year. We came from
Buffalo to Duluth by lake steamer
and then from St. Paul down the river
to keokuk. Neither in this country
nor in any other have I ssen such in
teresting scenery as that along the up
per Mississippi. One finds all that the
Hudson affords-bluffs and wooded
highlands-and great deal in addition.
Between St. Paul and the mouth of the
illinois river there are over four hum
dred islands, strung out in every pos
sible shape. \ river without islands is
like woman without hair. She may
be good and pure, but one doesn't fall
in love with her very often. Did you
ever fall in love with q bald-headed
woman ?" The reporter admitted that
he had drawn the line there.
81 never did, either" continued Mr..
Clemens, meditatively; "at least 1
think I never did. There is no place
for loafing more satisfactory than the
pilot house of a Mississippi steamboat.
1t amuses the children to see the pilot
monkey with the wheel. Travelling by
boat is the best way to travel unless
one can stay at home. On a lake or
river boat one is as thoroughly cut
off from letters and papers and the tax
collector as though he were amid sea.
Moreover one doesn't have the dis
comforts of seafaring. 1t is very un-
pleasant to look at sea sick people-at
least so my friends said the last time
crossed"
ut might amuse the children,
though" suggested the reporter.
AMUSING THE CHILDREN.
~ hadn't thought of that" replied
Mr.. Clemens "but perhaps it might.
The lake seems rather rough to-day
I wonder whether one could get a,boat
that would bob considerably. Yes, it
might amuse the children"
"But at such sacrifice"
"Yon are not a parent ~ replied Mr..
Clemens. The reporter admitted his
guilt.
"It is strange" continued Mr.. Glenn
ems, in momentary forgetfulness of the
children, chow little has been written
about the upper Mississippi. The river
below St Louis has been described time
aud again, and it is the least interest
ing part. One can sit in the pilot
house for few hours and watch the
low shores, the ungainly trees and the
democratic buzzards, ard then one
might as we'll go to bed. One has seen
everything there is to see. Along the
upper Mississippi every hour brings