The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1888-09-13
ANTIQUITIES OF MARIETTA.
The First Legislator and Village Wag.
RY PIONEER.

What would soon be complained
of as nuisance in sober, exclus-
i've and highly civilized place is not
only tolerated, but becomes a source
of enjoyment in new town, As a
class, pioneers are on the sunny side
of what Byron calls the barren
middle ages Of man." generally,
buoyant adventurous spirits full of
life, energy and expectation, who
know how to give and take, and
make the most of fortune whether
she frowns or smiles and the man
who affords the most merriment be-
comes the man of the hour and the
popular tayorite. How can we avoid
feeling kindly towards him whose
sunny temper, wit and drollery are
even, in spite of our assumed gravi-
ty, provoking hearty laugh? He
surely feels kindly towards us else
he would take little delight in our
smiles. Such man was Mr.. J. B.
Waller, the most incorrigible wag,
perhaps, that ever sprung a jest in
Marietta. He was a man of very
moderate pretentions and less learn
ing, but his flow of animal spirits
and perpetually happy mood more
than compensated the deficiency.
His name has doubtless ceased to be
even a memory in Marietta, yet he
was the first legislator ever elected
in Cobb county. His ''local habita-
ton" and place OF business was on
the east side of the square, Eve be-
lieve the McCutcheon building now
occupies the site.) His goods"
might now be classed evil, for his
stock in trade consisted principally,
if not wholly, in ''fluids." He was
decidedly an "early Bird" his GUS
tom being to rise at, or before, the
first peep o'day" and step out in
front of his store and. call the roll of
the town. There was something
preposterously ludricrious in that
self-imposed task. His voice was
clear, strong and sonorous, and as
he knew every man in the place, his
''roll' would ring out as prompt and
precise as any orderly's in pay Of
the government. But instead OF the
usual alphabetical order he would
string them out for euphonious, or
ludricrous effect, invariably reserv-
ing the name Of Mr.. Josiah Massey
for the last, though instead of giving
his christian name he would end the
list with go Lordy Massey" with
strong and pathetic accent on the
co. eve trust one of our amiable
and respected young printers can
humor joke equal to his grand
father. When the self-imposed task
of calling the ''roll" was over,
Waller would then proceed to open
an imaginary court after a style Of
his own, thus: 80, ye! 0, We! the
honorable Monastery court is now
open to transact any and all bust
ness that may come before it. The
Hon. Judge Slash sits ready to hear
your case. The polite and smiling
lawyers stand thick around ever
ready and willing to make ship
wreck of your pocket-books, and
should you get in possession of any
old clothes of deceased relative,
the honorable and accommodating
Sheriff is always on hand, at the
odd stand ready to put you
through. God save the town and
the honorable court. Mr.. Bailiff,
draw the cob and pass round the
jug and tin cup That last order
was so provocative OF thirst and
genial fellowship that nothing but a
collapse purse could withstand the
temptation to go over and take an
eye opener or mornings nip
with the facetious Waller. He re-
NAMED only few years then NOV
ed away and was lost sight of. But
the spirit of the jolly Waller must
have lowered around the spot, for it
became the most noted place, per-
haps, in all Marietta for dispensing
the ardent. A higher and more
humane civilization at length after
nearly half century-prevails, and