Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1888-10-25
THEORY BOB.
His Chunky Burro Is Stubborn
and Saves His Life.

1t was a common saying in Camp
Hard Up that Theory Bob and Conten-
ton were the stubbornest couple in
Colorado. For some length of time
after Bob took up his residence in the
camp he had been addressed by that
simple title alone, no one knowing his
family name, but by degrees there grew
a public sentiment that SO long a man
was i'll suited with so short name,
and Theory was pretixed, inform
ally but everlastingly, to help out.
Compared with Christian names in
general use at the present day it may
have sounded strangely, but no one
could object to it as not being appro-
pirate, for Bob had theory in stock
to account for every thing that had
ever happened, was happening, or was
going to happen, in the world, from
the formation of minerals in prehistoric
times to the future condition of Colora-
do through all time to come.
Who was Contention? Oh, Conten-
ton was Bob's burrO. or donkey, and
the chunkiest, sturdiest, jolliest little
fellow ever seem among burros. His
expression of gravity mingled with
mischief would have made you laugh,
and he was always ready to join in any
lark such as a burro would take part
in. His usual amiability caused him
to be petted by nearly every body in
camp. and if he frisked up to the door,
way of a cabin or tent and thrust his
nose inside by way of saying: Have
you biscuit in there for good little
burro?" the biscuit was generally
forthcoming. Bob and Contention
We're great friends. but when a serious
difference of opinion arose between
them-for instance, as to which of
two roads it would be better to take
a cOmical tug of war was sure to fol-
low. Victory fell sometimes to one
side and again to the other. Bob was
tall. but not very strong, and the
burro could output him in straight
tug; but when Bob had chance to
use strategy he got the best of the
fight. 1t was the burro's obstinancy
in these occasional struggles that
had secured for him the name of Con-
tentiOn.
BOb's good nature secured many
friends for him, and if the men in
camp made fun of his theories and
played trick on him now and then.
1t was all because they knew he would
not get angry. They wished him well
and lent him a helping hand whenever
he needed one. Like the others, Bob
was prOspector, and daily went
rambling about the hills in search of
veins of silver and other metals. I'm
fortunately he had SO many theories
that one or another of them was al
ways interfering to prevent him from
enjoying any good luck. Contention
accompanied his master on these trips.
partly to help carry tools, etc.,
and partly that he might be re-
moved from the temptation to get into
mischief if left behind. As good liv.
ing and light work had made him very
gay and frolicsome. he was decorated
with lariat that was fastened around
his neck and left to trail out far be-
hind. Through the medium of this de-
vice the burro could now and then be
checked in his impetuous career, and
hauled up to receive lecture on the
error of his ways.
Contention hated this lariat, because
1t prevented him from INDUCING his
fondness for strolling into all sorts of
places where he had no business to 90.
He could not get rid of it. however: so
to defeat its purpose he used often
when it was desired to secure him. run
away just fast enough to keep Bob
from catching up with the end of the
lariat. Contention enjoyed these races
q good deal more than his master did.
and even when caught he tugged away.
and refused to surrender until there
was absolutely no hope OF escape left.
There was one man in Camp Hard
Up who did not like Theory Bob. In
fact, he did not like anyone, for he was
. ssurly, cross grained fellow. Jim