Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1888-09-21
THE PIE HABIT.
Startling Statements BY Man Who Has
Studied the Subject.


No man OF woman can be truly good
who is addicted to the eating of pie.
Pie is often as bad for the stomach of
a growing boy as cigarette smoke is for
the brain, and as injurious to the best
physical development of girl in her
teens as an overdose of fashion plate is
for the mind.
Our State prisons, penitentiaries, and
reformatories are filled with the
wretches who were given over to inor-
dinate indulgence in their appetite for
pie.
On the other hand, no one has ever
been elected President Of the United
States who was O victim of this awful
vice.
Mental hallucination, physical wreck,
and moral turpitude mark the path of
this monster evil
Men who rob banks and cut throats
eat pie.
Ministers who fall from grace think
more Of their pie than their principles.
Crooks" and cranks who seek to
knock the underpinning from the estab-
lshed order of things eat pie between
meals. ss.s. ~
New England used to burn witches
and punish men who kissed their wives
and children on Sunday.
Withdrawing long ago ceased, and
the Blue laws are regarded as curios-
ity.
And yet as great a sin against the
light and intelligence of the nineteenth
century has been perpetuated by New
England; as great relic of the bar
barism of the dark ages has been
handed down in the shape of pie-eating.
Pie ruins digestion, and sets dyspep-
STA up in business.
Conscience takes vacation when dys-
pepsia gets to running on full time.
With the absence of conscience and
the presence of pie, the victim is
doomed.
With the appetite whimsical, the di-
gestive apparatus total wreck, the
liver upside down, and the spleen ready
to hit the first head tsees, the wretched
being has no regard for either the laws
Of man OF God.
A great deal is said, and good deal
Of it rightly said, against the evils of
rum and tobacco. And yet great
many of these reformers themselves eat
pie and give it to their friends, and feed
it to their innocent little children.
To be consistent, every total absti-
nence pledge should include the eating
of pie along with the drinking and
smoking and chewing.
Some young ladies refuse to marry
any man who has habit Of using mar.
cotics or stimulants. If they We're wise
); these same young ladies would find ou
if their admirers had developed weak
ness for pie. Such weakness should
secure "the mitten" for man every
time he tries to get wife.
The woman who will organize an anti
pie association-for the non eating, non
pie-cooking young women, who are
bound by pledge never to marry g
man who eats pie-will do a grandel
service to her sex and humanity thar
all the woman's rights societies ant
philanthropic combinations in thu
world.
Pie is the prime cause of divorce. LIE
the manageable woman remember this
fact. Indirectly it sours the sweetes
tempers on earth, making husband ant
wife cold, peevish, hard to please, un
reasonable, unforgiving. Directly
many home that might be otherwise
happy, is started on the downward roat
by the snappish criticism of the hus
band.
II do wish you could ever learn t
bake such pies as my mother did"
From the pie, that is unlike the on
the mother baked, to the divorce
courts is but short trip.
Pie is the druggists hope and til
doctors joy, and is one Of the most en-
ergetic and useful allies OF the under
. taker.
. Pie means slow death, in it's mos
painful, most expensive form.
Leaving the crime and disease an
the other penalties Of pie-eating out c
the question, the direct cost in dollar
|, | or1 contu ic starf1inp
We. are told how many millions TIL
and tobacco cost the people of thi
country every year, how many cigar
I and cigarettes, and how many gallon
, of whisky, wine, and beer there are fo
, every man, woman, and child, but not
: word about the pie consumed OF it
cost.
Let's try some figures on the pi
question There are now G0,O0O,O 90
people in the United States. Give thel
, each pie week for year, only on
pie a week and some OF them eat tw
OF three pies day, every day OF the1
stomach-debauched, pie-blasted lives
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