Morning journal and courier., 1888-09-07
CALM.

Innocent youth-''How I admire Miss Tranquils calmnessl She never loses her self possession" Tart maiden-"And never will. None of the young men want her" Harper's Bazar.
 Cutting.-(Uncle takes Tommy to the bar Der to have his hair cut.) Barber-"Well, Tommy, how do you want your hair cut?' Tommy-"Oh, short, please, with hole in the middle, like uncle'si"-Fun.
 The Rev. J. Torrey has preached 6 sermon on Spiritual Mountain Climbing" A puns ter, just before being fatally slaughtered said the reverend gentleman must have come from Torrey-d climb. b.-Norristown Herald. They had retired.-Mrs. Dusenbury was talking a streak about Mir. D.'s foibles. "Graciousl" she suddenly exclaimed, "my foot's asleep" "Then keep quiet, my dear. J said Mir. D., "and perhaps you'll fall asleep all over. r."-The Cartoon.
 sI see. remarked the horse editor, 'tthat Motor Keely professes to have discovered g new and simple method of pulverizing quartz .tThat's the trouble with Keely." replied the snake editor, Che deals with quartz instead of coming to the pint. Chron- icle
 A news item says "James Caxton was dangerously wounded in his cooper shop" We don't know on what portion of the human anatomy the cooper shop is located, 
 when 6 man is dangerously wounded there he doesn't have far to go to "kick the bucket. ."-Norristown Herald.
 A gentleman who had had the misfortune to lose three wives within few years showed his confidence in the fair sex by taking unto himself fourth At the affair, some one having asked his ffteen-year-old daughter who had performed the ceremony, she inno- gently replied: "Oh, Dr. Moore, guess; he D--HarpArtA RazQP
 Remarkable growth.-"Has the town grown much in the last ten years, Mir. Snaf- fess' ''Growna My, yes. Why this very lot we're standing on I paid $10, 1000 for in i72. I sold it in 'SI for g, 900 and had to buy it back on foreclosure for $1, 300. Stranger, you can this town grow, but the trouble is, it's an ingrowing town."- Haryer's Bazar.
 "Mr. Jones'" said the managing editor to one of his reporters, "did you attend the spiritual seance at Library Hall this even ingf" ''I did" replied the reporter. II hope you have treated the medium fairly, MT. Jones. You know a good many Spiritualists read our paper. How have you written it upG' "Fair to medium" replied the reporter. Texas Siftings.
 A limit to brayery-Ofice boy to editor "Dere's two hundred and fifty poun' gent outside, sir, wid red spots on his eyes, wot wants ter see de editor" Editor-''I'm no coward, James; show him right in." Office boy-"He says he wan's ter kereot a bill:'' Editor st)--"Great heavens, James, tell him I've gone to the poorhouse to visit my dear old father. Life.
 ssGeorgie and have been down to the dining room, Mr. Mitham. We've been play ing husband and wife" Mfr. Mitcham- "How did you do that, my deara" Fife ''Why, Georgie sat at one end of the table and sat at the other; and Georgie said This food isn't fit to eatl' and I said: Its all you'll geti' and Georgie said, 'Dam!' and got up and left the room. .n-Puneh. They were sitting on the porch, and it was growing late. "Would you mind if lighted cigar, Miss Clara" he asked. Certainly
 not, Mir. Sampson" she replied. And pres ently the old man, who was getting desper ate, spoke from an open window above
 Daughter" he said, ssI left my rubber over coat near the kitchen stove. and you haG better see to them. I smell something burn ing. Epoch.
 Serving an Old Friend.-Young man (tt editorl-ssI sent little poem here yesterday sir; my name is Waffies." Editor: "Oh yes. Are you son of Mir. Montague B Waflesa" Young man; "Yes, sir" Editor eWell, destroyed the poem myself-burneG
 it up and buried the ashes ten feet deep Your father, young man (with emotion) anG
 are old boyhood friends, and love him a l brother. Bless the old boy! Tell him wha have done for him."-Life.