The Washington critic., 1888-03-03

citing, in shrill tones:
Frank, Frank, turn the crank
Mother come out and give him spank.
Then, perceiving amazement and dis.
appreciation in the face of his teacher, he
added, briskly:
"Why it's Sunday, ain'tit? Well, I'll
sing you Revive Us Again ~ Boston
Courier
DISCOVERY OF NEW SENSATION.
! have little girl and when IL is her
bedtime, in indication that she is getting
tired and sleepy, she will yawn or cape,
ASH is sometimes called. One evening 1
is time for bed She spoke up quickly
and said; "Mamma was not gaping.
that was only another kind of sneezc. -
Boston Globe.
VOICE IN THE WILDERNESS.
A little boy was told that the Rev. Mr..
Goforth, the missionary to China would
be the only Christian minister in charge
of district having as many people as are
in the whole of Canada. "My.h he said,
won't he have to hollerW-[Toronto
Globe.
STRIKES A yEIS OF THOUGHT.
The sayings of little folks are very
much the vogue just now, and well they
may be. for there are no brighter sayings
than those of children, and certainly
none more genuine or void of aflectotion,
and the more apparently remarkable the
reputed saying, the more certain the
reader may be that il is genuine, for no
grown person could possibly invent
things half so good as those which come
spontaneously out of the mouths of
children. Little Hans, the diminutiye
son of very large and portly German,
lost his sister and playmate. "rhe angels
came and took her away" said his weep
ing mother. Hans was very thoughtful
and still At last he said: Mamma, if
papa was to die the angels touldn't tarry
him, tould they? bod would have to
tome hisself" - Boston Herald.
YOUTHFUL AMBITION.
Minister-Well, Bobby what do you
want to be when you grow up?
Bobby Suffering from parental disci-
pline)-An orphan.-lNew York Sun.
CAN KITuEs TALK?
a little miss Of from Unadilla, on q
visit at a house in this town last week
spent good deal of her time in talking to
pet pHvS cat ,oo, anti, ,,,. ,,,,,.,... ,o.,
little while. don't you know the kitty
can't talk ?"
"oh," was the prompt reply, 81 know
they can't III Unadilla, but didn't know
but what they might in Oneonta. y
[0neonta Herald.
TO RELIEVE THE STRAIN.
Little Bobby (tired of the service and
whispering to his mother)-Mal
Mother-Sh What is it, dear?
"When we get home can go out in the
back yard and holler Just once ?''-[Texas
Siftings.
WHAT HE WANTED TO BE.
A small boy of our acquaintance ad-
mires his clergyman. He says: 81 would
like to be a minister If l could be nice
minister like him. If l can't be that, |
should like to be street car conductor"
Michigan Churchman.
RAPID TRANSIT.
Nellie (who had been to an "Uncle
Toms Cabin" matinee) does
little Eva play again tonight?
Mamma-Yes. dear.
Nellie latter some thought)-Well, !
don't see how she can die and go to
Heaven at o'clock and get back in time
for the show at S.-[Texas Siftings.
WHAT. "TRANs" MEANS.
Little Dot-NIamma, what does trans
atlantic mean?
Mamma-Across the Atlantic, ofcourse.
Little Dot-Does trans always mean
across?
Mamma-Yes. Now don't bother me
any more, or shall put you to bed.
Little Dot-Well, mamma, does trans
parent mean cross parent ?-[ Harper
Bazaar,
ON MS GOOD BEHAVIOR.
"Now, Tommy" said Chicago lady to
her little boy, "Mr. and Mrs Wabash are
to dine with US this evening, and want
you to show them what little gentleman
| you can be-"
eyes ma" said Tommy.
"And, Tommy" cautioned his mother,
"you are to have but one piece of PIE
| you know, and remember when eating Il
| to hold your knife by the handle and moi
by the blade.-[N. Y. Sun.
FRIGHTFUL SUGGESTION.
"When I grow up | will be a man.
won't I?'' asked little Texas boy of his
mother.
"Yes, my son. If you want to be q
man, you must be industrious at school
| and learn how to behave yourself"
"Why, ma, do lazy boys turn out to be
women when they grow up |-[TexaS
Siftings.
THE TABLES TURNED.
A little boy had been extremely naughty
| at dinner and had been sent away from
| the table Just rs his favonte dessert-cabi
net pudding, with butter and sugar sauce
was being served. About 0 o'clool
that evening, when the other children haG
gone to bed and his parents were alone IN
the sitting room, tear-stained little face
and white-robed figure appeared at the
door.
"NIamma," it said bravely, between
sobs, "you told me never to go to seeE
when anything wrong had been done
| until il was all fixed up right so came
down to tell you that-that--that-lI-
| forgive you and papa for what you did
to me at the dinner table Il [Harper's
Bazar
| NOT AN EXPERT IN EGGS.
| Johnny, who is a four-year-old, was
playing in ihe yard one day, and lady
who lives close by wished to have the
eggs, if any were laid since her last visit
to the hennery, brought in, She said tC
the little boy Johnny will you go tC
the hennery and see if there are any egg;
there? Don't bring in the china ones
leave them there; but if there be any
Others bring them in"
Johnny started to do the bidding and
soon returned with two or three broken
eggs and his pinafore soiled. The lady
seeing him coming, exclaimed;
"0h, Johnny how did you break the
eggs" .
| Johnny looked at her in surprise, and
said: "How could l tell whether they
were china eggs or not if | didn't try
them?'-[Boston Globe.
THE BOSTON TEA PARTY,
Little three-year-old Charlie had beer
listening TO mamma, who was reading
American history to the older children.
"Wliy did those men throw the tea int
| Boston Harbor2" mamma asked.
"'Cause the British put tacks in il,
| answered Charlie. Il Youthls Companion