Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1888-09-14
FLOATING HUM0p


plasters for, Mr.. Apothecarv, ., ma ma
the backs of amateur gardenor.
tom Gazette. bd
GEN. Crook is one of the few
who can catch both fish and ~ J.. m
His record proves that much NV aal
done by hook and Crook roy
Journal. N'0r
A COMIC opera has just been w,;..
which deals with baseball matto aa'''
there is an umpire in it it would hs,
ter described as q tragedy.-Roc1.'1
Post Express. '''Sq
FRlEND-How about your ~!
Charley; getting on with it? Cb,r Is
o, yes; 1 expect to finish it in day.
two. Friend-That's good; and
what paper will you send it frst2
Epoch.
A GOOD many fires in news,,,
Offices are reported nowadays from
ferent sections Of the country ~
seems to indicate that the sprino
has got around with his words that h,
Boston Herald.
A difference. Husband (sadly)-y
are not what you used to be- Fan,
Wife (sharply)-Of course I'm M
used to be your best girl, but now
your wife, and it makes great sipb
difference.-Tid-Bits.
In Boston. Mamma-W What are Won
ing, Minnie? Minnie-Im reading 81
a pretty tale. Mamma-You must
narrative, Minnie, not tale. Mippia
Yes, mamma! And do justlook at G.
how he's wagging his narrative.
AT the club. z. has just return
from Europe, and is very blase. \
Glad to see you back. Did you 90
Italy? Yes. X.--Go to veniJ
Yes. X.-See the Lion Of (
Mark? Yes. Saw him fed!
SOMEBODY predicts that "the te]
phone will develop in time SO that eve
body will be compelled to have it. n
messenger boy must CO." We hav1
great deal Of confidence in science,
we don't believe yet that it will ever
able to make the messenger boy 90
Boston Post.
DOUBTFUL PARTY (after partasi
heartily of the free lunch)- Gimn1
glass of water, please. Bartender|
Don't you feel a little mean to call |
water after eating all that free lune
Doubtful Party-Well, I don't feel aud
right. That tripe, mister, amt what |
ought to be.-1he Epoch.
LADY entering editors sanctum)
should like to find out, sir, somethi
about the condition of the poor Of
town. Editor-Well, ma'am, at p(
ent we are we'll supplied with potatd
and cordwood, but a new pair Of tr !
ers or spring overcoat would be qu|
acceptable. Burlington Free Press
PuPsoN Ito his valet who is fz|
him for breakfast)I say, Fagg, doy|
think 1 shall evaw have any whiskaV
Fagg (after a careful examination
Well, sir, I really don't think you u
-leastwise not to speak Of. PupsonI
That's cussed queah. Ny govnah
plenty and to spaiah. Fagg-Yes, s
but p'raps you take after your ma.
DuMLEY-Do you know anythia
about Grimesby, Brown? He asked 4
to lend him hundred dollars u
morning. Brown Laughing upra'I
iously)-Haw, haw, haw! Asked "
to lend him hundred dollars! Wei
well! If I had Grimesby's vein
humor I wouldn't be in the fish bug
ness. He is a funny dog.-Nev la1
San.
ST. PETER (severely)-I suppose, 4
you heard the story of the camel A
the needle, and yet you were not on
born rich but you lived rich and dl1
rich. New Spirit-You have not q
amined the record very closely, ]
Peter; I died in poverty. "Eh?
had consumption and went to flon1
in the vain hope Of cure. died u
Florida hotel after paying my BILL
Omaha World.
"Now, JAMES," said the grocer TO y
new boy, "our stock is frst-clas
every respect. There are no flies on
and never will be, and you mustn't nts|
tate to crack it up to customers. lh1
James, profoundly impressed, went
wait on an old lady, who presently Hsl
out without buying. "What DID y
want, James?" inquired the groes]
"She asked me if we had any fy'pa}P]
I could recommend, and I said yes VI
there was no flies on our hy-pape1' Il
never would be. "-Ne1v York Sun'
NO MILLENNIUM YET.
Who dreams of great reforms is seen'
Too often, poor, unkempt and lean'
He's labored hard for many day.
To find reforming doesn't pay
He joins in no combines or trusts y.