St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-08-06
FOR AMATEUR JOURNALISTS.

Hints to Newspaper Correspond
ents Which VIII Please Editors.
The Epoch.
First be sure that you have nothing to
say, and then sit down and say it.
Don't bother about ideas, or about
sense, If you haven't any, Make up for
the absence of both by grandiloquent
words and many of them, especially if
you are writing for space. Enlarge
upon your topic; it shows fertility; to
ensmall upon it indicates paucity.
Write On paper foolScap size, or on
wall paper, if it is more handy. 1t
creaSes so beautifully when you cram it
into the envelope. Then, too, you will
please the composition; he likes the
sheet of MS. to cover his upper case;;"
indeed, the more it covers it the more
he likes it. He shows his delight by his
well-sustained profanity.
Use pale blue ink and don't aim at
legibility. The editor is fond of de-
ciphering hieroglyphics. 1t is likely
that he'll guess at far better word
than the one you really used. If you
have not blue ink, black ink that has
been frozen and thawed out three or
four times will do as we'll.
When YOUR article is finished don't
revise it. Above all, don't prune it,;
that might strengthen it, but it will also
shorten 1t, and quantity goes farther
than quality.
Show it to friends who are incompe-
tent to Judge of its merits. If they praise
it then it is ready to fire at the editor.
If you show it to a competent friend
he'll hesitate to tell you, out of regard
for your feelings, that it is rot and
that you are not called to write. You
see, if he tells you the truth you'll not
send the MS; the editor will be de-
prived of the pleasure of declining it.
and you of the delight of getting it back
OF of thinking kindly of the editor for
years because he kept it and the stamps
you sent him.
You needn't send sufficient stamps
for the return of your MS. 1t can't be
explained why it is so, but it costs less
postage from him to you than it does
from you to him. Anyhow, the average
| literary tyro seems to think that it does.
If your article is excessively funny
send it to the Homeletic Monthly.
If it is excessively dull and heavy
send it to Puck.
If it is on theology send it to the
! Scientific American; if on science, to
the Christian at Work.
There's great deal in sending the
article to the journal Tor which ltlSn't
at all adapted.
Wait at least two days before you
write to inquire why you haven't heard
about the article.
If you live near the publication office
don't send your MS, but take 1t your
self Read it to the editor; read it bois-
terously, so that others within hearing
may enjoy it. They may doubt the
maSSiveneSS of your brain, Dut not the
capacity of your lungs. Get into the
editors lap, if possible. Walk all over
! him, figuratively speaking. He enjoys
such visits hugely. The disappoint-
ment of his life is that they do not come
in sQuadrons.
Should the editor through dementia
or the idiotic fortuity of circumstances,
accept your article, sent him another
right off. In fact, keep sending them.
Load them in Calling gun. Make a
target of him. Other writers have nc
business to expect a hearing. They
ought to fall back upon NOR e plebeian
| calling.