davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1888-03-02
a Good Joke.

Boys are often fond ofplayingprac-
tical jokes. Such may sometimes he
done but never TO any ones incon-
venience. In one OF our colleges n
professor, who made himself very
friendly with the students, was walk
ing out with an intelligent scholar.
when they saw an old man hoeing In
II corn field. He was advancing slowly
with his work toward the road. by the
side Of which lay his shoes. A. il was
near sunset, the student proposed To
play the old man joke. II will hide
his shoes we will conceal ourselves be
hind the bushes, and see what he will
do"
NO" said the Professor lit would
not be right You have money enough:
just put "A dollar In the mans shoes;
then we will hide behind the bushes,
and see what he will do"
The student agreed to the proposal
and they concealed themselves nc
cordingly.
When the laborer had finished his
row Of corn, he came out to the field
10 go home. He put on one shoe, felt
something hard, took II of and found
the dollar. He looked around him,
but saw no one, and looked up CRATE
fully toward heaven. He then put on
the other shoe, and found another
dollar. He looked at il, and looked
all around him, but saw no one. He
then knelt upon the ground and re-
turned thanks to God for the bless
ings that had been conferred upon
him. The listeners learned from tho
prayer that the old mans wife and
one Of his children were sick, and that
they were very poor; 30 that the two
dollars were "A great relief sent 10 them
from heaven.
There" " said the professor, how
much better this Is than to have hid
den the old mans shoes
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1888-03-02
NEW VOL. 23-NO. "a.

and wrote out my part at Mr.. Downs
one evening, copying il out OF book
of his. Mrs. Downs gave me an enve-
lope from one of her letters that lay
on the table 10 put the manuscript III,
and | unfortunately lost it on my way
home. will now read the lines, If
Mr.. Cowles will look over the printed
pages and see if read them correctly.
Shamefaced. Mr.. Cowles looked on
while Mr.. Cotton read, with much
dramatic effect:
MY angel fly with me!
Afar in other lands beyond the sea
Well build home sacred 10 love and thee.
Scorn the base wretch who in your humble
home
Profanes the name OF love-ah' De my own
And heaven is not so high, nor earth so vast
But that It's treasures AT thy feet III cast.
There is full page of it, with my
name signed at the bottom, but this
will suffice, | think, and Mr.. Cotton
coollv sat down while a look OF con
sternation went round the room.
Mrs. Downs went up to Helen Grant
and kissed her.
Thank you, dear for your faith i'll
me. heard all about il. and ii never
forget it as long as | live.
She looked so gentle and girlish in
her dainty white draperies, with that
look of childish gratitude in her blue
ewes. that kind-hearted Mrs. jeffrey
went up and put her motherly arms
around her and said, with tears in her
eyes:
Forgive me-forgive us all won't
your
Jack answered for her.
"She forgives you, we both forgive
you, neighbors and friends; but if any
man repeats such stuff again about
nv wife or any other woman, | give
him warning here and now that it will
afford me infinite pleasure TO give him
a sound thrashing.
And that was the last of the great
scandal at Pine Falls.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1888-03-02
Picking up Tiger.

once saw three young tigers, larger
deck of a British India steamer
crowded with several hundred Mecca
pilgrims. The cage in which they
were confined was large and barred
on each side, with partition running
along its middle, which had n drop
door. The man who had charge OF
the animals would drive them over to
one side Of the cage, close the parti-
ton and clean out the other side at
his leisure; then, barring up the clean
side, he would open the partition and
drive the tigers back. while he went
through the same performance on the
other side. One morning he neglected
10 put up the bars on the side he had
finished and so drove the tigers out OF
the opposite side Of the open cage.
The animals, on obtaining their lib
erty. took different directions and.
crouching in the nearest corners, lay
snarling and exposing their teeth,
showing unmistakable signs of u most
dangerous fear.
That side OF the deck was deserted,
and the crowd gazed in interest at n
respectful distance. Mr.. Fleuse. the
third officer, the second officer and
the keeper each placed himself be-
fore tiger, barring their exit should
they attempt To move away. 'Fleuse
inquired il the tigers had been fed
that day. They had not; they had al
ways been fed on living fowls. Fleuse
called for three chickens from the hen
coop. Taking these, he threw one in
the face of each tiger. The chickens
seemed simply motionlesS, glued To
the spot. so instantaneous was the
fixing Of teeth and claws. Fleuse then
went deliberately up TO IA tiger, coolly
took the loose skin Of the back Of the
neck with one hand and the root OF
the tail with the other, and, putting
out his full strength, dragged the
heavy brute along the deck TO the
cage, and forced il through the open
bars. The chicken diversion acted
perfectly. The brute had no object
but that Of retaining it, prey. IL
growled fearfu.ly; its eyes blazed; its
teeth crashed through the chicken;
its unsheathed claws clasped and
pierced its quivering body. Red-hot
irons would hardly have made il
loosen its grip Of the bird. Then the
keeper and the others helped Fleuse
in carrying the remaining tigers into
the cage.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1888-03-02

Speaking Of anthems am reminded
OF the story Of two old British sailors
who were talking over shore expert
ence. One had been 10 cathedral
and had heard some very fine music,
and was descanting particularly upon
an anthem which gave him much
pleasure. His shipmate listened for n
while and then said: Il say Bill, what's
An anthem ''WhatY replied Bill.
'do you mean to say that you don't
know what hanthem isy' Not me. "
well, then I'll tell yer. II was To
say 10 yer, Ere, Bill, give me that
'andspike, that wouldn't be han
them. But was to say, 'Bill-BiIl-
Bill-giv-giv-giy-giv me, CIV me
that-Bill, Civ me, Civ me that hand,
Civ me that hand, handspike, spike
spike-Bil giy-giy me that-tbst
hand-handspike, bandspike-spike,
spike-spike-spike, ah-men, ah-
men; Bill, givmethat hapdspike,
spike, ah-menr Why, that would be
a hanthem. troy Times.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1888-03-02
S. P. HUMRICKHOUSE & SON,
w. p. LICKLIDER.
HEADQUARTERS FOR
WINTER SUPPLIES !

Our Grocery Stock is full of Teas,
Sugars, Coffee, Beans, Hominy, Oat
Meal, Corn Meal, Flour, Buckwheat,
Prunes, Raisins, Citron, Currants,
Pickles, Crackers, Cakes, Canned
Corn, Tomatoes, Peaches, &c, Dates,
Oranges, Lemons, Mincemeat, Cheese,
Maccaroni, n. O. Syrup, Powdered
Sugar, Tobacco, Flavoring Extracts,
Cerealine Flakes, &C., &c. Boots,
Shoes and Rubber Goods of all kinds
and Bargains in Boots. Come and
see our Notions, Hosiery, Overalls,
Gloves, Queensware and Glassware.
We always keep full Of New Styles.
Hardware, Iron, Wooden Ware, &c.
Come and get what you want at Low
Prices. Will take Lard, Bacon, APP
pies, Eggs and Butter in trade. Look
before you buy, and when you want
cheap goods and bargains, call on W.
p. Licklider.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1888-03-02
NEW GOODS,
Goods

The undersigned has returned from
the city and finished opening a thor
ough and complete line of goods, VIZ !:
Dry Goods, Notions, Straw Goods,
fine Boots, fine and coarse Shoes, to
suit all ages, nice line of Mating,
good Rag Carpet at special bargain,
summer stock of Ready-made Cloth
ing, cane and wood seat Rocking
Chairs; Bedsteads, Cots, Tables,
Safes, c., Queonsware, StontWa
Hardware, Woodenware, Tinware,
Groceries, Confections, Drugs, Patent
Medicines, Paints, Oils, Essences,
Soaps, Tobacco, Cigars, &c, &c.-all
of which have been bought at the
lowest cash price and will sell at clos
est living profit. Country Produce
taken in exchange at full market
price. also old iron and bones. Wool
bought for cash at highest market
price. An examination of goods and
prices:solicited.
Respectfully,
j. S. MELVIN.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1888-03-02

Good evening, Mrs. Ownhair, how
did you like the entertainment last
EVENING"
II was delighted"
''And how did you like the olio?'
Il beg your pardon, Mrs. Smith. but
we use only the best creamery butter.r
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1888-03-02

He Gust introduced)-"What a very
homely man that gentleman near the
piano is, Mrs. Hobson."
Mrs. Hobson-"Isn'th hel That is Mr..
Hobson."
He equal to the occasion)-''Oh,
indeed How true it is. Mrs. Hobson,
that the hoinely men always get the
pretty wives"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1888-03-02
THE GRUMBLER.

HIS YOUTH.
His cap was too thick, his coat was too thin; ;
He couldn't be quiet; he hated din;
He hated to write and he hated to read;
He was certainly very much injured, indeed
He must study and toll over work he detested
His parents were strict and he never got rest
ed;
He knew he was wretched as wretched could
be,
There was no one so wretchedly wretched as
he.
HIS MANHOOD.
His farm was too small, and his taxes too big
He was selfish and lazy, and cross as pig
His wife was too silly, his children too rude,
And lust because he was uncommonly good !!
He hadn't got money enough to spare;
He had nothing at all III to eat or TO wear
He knew he was wretched as wretched could
be,
There was no one so wretchedly wretehed as
he.
HIS OLD AGE.
He finds he has sorrows more deep than his
fears;
He grumbles TO think he has grumbled for
years;
He grumb bles to think he has grumbled away
His home and his children, his life's little day;
But alas 'tis too late I! 1t is nou use to say
That his eyes are too dim and his hair is too
gray;
He knows he is as wretched as wretched can
be,
There is no one so wretchedly wretched az he.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1888-03-02
The engagement lasted q week.

Young Husband (year 1900)-"Well,
did you succeed in getting a girIf'
Young Wife-"Yes, i secured one
finally, but oh. John, at such q cost
What we're the termsr'
''She IL TO receive go week II she
doesn't like you, but il she likes you
am to get a divorce and let her have
you.-
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1888-03-02

Father" said Robert, Il have long
cherished desire to go on the stage,
and have at last decided with your
permission, to-"
my SON." interrupted the fond
father, ''all worlds stage. Take that
hoe hanging ia the wood-shed, and go
out and dig those potatoes back OF the
orchard
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1888-03-02
,KAP DEPNKTMENT.

LADIES FURNISHING GOODS.
Ladies', Misses and Children's Underwear
and Hosiery Reduced % per cent.
The above represents only few OF the many
articles We offer in this sale.
IL will pay you to visit our store il In need
OF any Winter Goods.
UPDEGRAFFS,
HagerStown, Md.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1888-03-02
TRUNKS
$ one OF the finest that has ever been brought
N this
VALISES
OUR ANNUAL CLEARING SALE
OF Fall and Winter Goods commences
Wednesday, January 4, 1888.

Rather than carry over and pack away we
offer our entire stock of Fall and winter
Goods at less than cost. Come early ana se'
the Bargains. Note few prices:
CIOTHING DEPARTMENT..
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1888-03-02
Corporation Election.

y election will be held at the Council
n Room in Shepherdstown, West Va, on
the 18th day OF March, 1883, being the second
Monday, Tor Mayor Recorder and five Coun-
cilmen.
BY order of the Council.
JOHN II. ZITTLE, Mayor.
!. s. FLEMING, Recorder.
Feb'y Il, lSSS-te
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1888-03-02
sHEPHERTSTOWN, w. VA, FRIDAY, MARCH 2 1883.

Youthful and pretty, she added TO
these attractions by taste in dress
that was simply perfect. As she came
slowly up the aisle twirling her fan
nonchalantly, whispered comments
passed from one TO another.
How brazen. Did you ever see
such effrontery?' murmured Mrs. Dorr
TO Mrs. Cowles.
She's a plucky little piece! said
Mr.. Martin TO his wife, in tone in
which surprise was so evidently TIA
vored with admiration. that his better
half bestowed on him glance Of with
ering scorn.
What audacity.' said Mrs. Brown
TO her daughter Cora.
But that young lady, who rejoiced
in the distinction of being the village
poetess, was wrapped in poetic con
temptation. She knew that Mrs.
Downs had fallen under diSapproba-
ton because of a love-letter that had
been found by some one, addressed TO
her and in Mr.. Colton's handwriting:
Other people saw the reprehensible
married flirt accepting protestations
from a gentleman acquaintance. Not
so. Miss Cora. This Byronic state of
affairs did not so shock her moral SEN
sibilities. as it presented theme for
her muse TO portray the agonies of
misplaced affection. Viewing the
whole matter simply as an abstrac-
ton, she surreptitiously drew out her
hymn-book and slyly penciled on the
margin:
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1888-03-02

The next day was Sunday, and the
minister, Mr.. Snow, looked/around at
the rapidly filling pews with a feeling
of calm complacency. Everybody be-
longing to the congregation was there
Every face wore look of keen expec-
fancy, and when Jack Downs entered
with his pretty wife, significant looks
were exchanged and suppressed SEN
sation was visible throughout the au-
dience.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1888-03-02
Grain, Hay, Lime, MiIIfeed, &c., &c.,

and Will keep up n good stock at all times. \
share of the public patronage is respectfully
solicited. and every effort will he made to
please.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1888-03-02
TAILORING DEPARTMENT.
} SHOE DEPARTMEN,

uction on all Underwear, Gloves anc
Cardigan Jackets.
Arizona weekly journal-miner., 1888-12-05
Territorial Home Rule.

Let us have home rule under the new dispensation. Whenever possible the president should appoint resident repub- licans to local offices. The rule should hold in the south and the territories as we'll as the northern states. No man who knows Mr. Harrison believesthat he will appoint single bad man to office, knowingly. Everywhere republicans should speak out boldly against bad or incompetent men who seek office. The Bee shall do so, without fear or favor. It has no friends to urge upon the admins tratioa for any office and shall not lend itself to further any ones interests, but 1t shall promptly condemn bad appoint
 menis, in the interest of the public serv- ice and of the republican party. We do not believe in carpet-bag policy, and
 we have no fears that Mir. Harrison will re-inaugurate it. The republicans m the territories have proved their loyalty to the fullest possible extent. and we believe that the local federation positions excepting perhaps. judicial vacancies should De filled by residents of the va rious territories. This will not only give the greatest satisfaction, but it will insure the best public servlce, By all mean let us haze home rule.-San Diego Bee
Arizona weekly journal-miner., 1888-12-05
Policy Toward the South.

Harvlson's Policy Toward the South.
 In reply to letter from the editor Of . South Carolina paper, to General Har' rison asking him in regard to the policy he proposed to pursue toward the south, the latter replied as fOllo~s:
 "I am not ready to make any public utterances on any public question. Every day I ana solicited by special correspon- dants of the press to speak upon this subject or that, but have invariably de- clined. and to your appeal for some ex- pression upon . question that interests you must, for the present, make the same answer. understand you have yourself been satisfied with the expres- sions made by me in my public utter ances to visiting delegates during the campaign. When the surprise and dis appointment which some Of your people have felt over the result has passed away, and they give some calm thought to the situation, 1 think they will be as much surprised as l am that they should, in thought or speech, imPute to me un- friendliaess towards the south. The policies m legislation advised by the re- publican party, believe. are wholesome for the whole country. and if those who in their hearts believe with us upon the questions, would act with us. other ques- tions that give you local concern would settle themselves."
Arizona weekly journal-miner., 1888-12-05
q Fraud.

A Chicago dispatch of the 77th inst
 says: 5. M. Smith, representing him. self as agent of Mill q Orton, stockmen at Socorro. New Mex,co. was arrested to-day while receiving scores Of per sonal applications in answer to an adver. tisement for young men who wished employment as cowboys on the plains, at $4s per month. Smith exacted $3 from each would-be cowboy, as evidence of good faith. One of the young aspi. rants for prairielhonors toek the pains to ascertain whether Smith had really as promised arranged with the Santa Fe railroad for the transportation Of the regiment of applicants. Santa re officials had no knowledge whatever of Smith. Fifty of the cowboys chased Smith and be aud his captors ran through the streets to police headquar. ter% They threatened to string him up to lamp post.
Arizona weekly journal-miner., 1888-12-05
lr the Depths.

Indianapolis correspondence New York Sun: The only recourse of the h. diana democrats ~ho bet on Cleveland and who lost seems te be to get drunk. A remarkably large number of apparent iy respectbIe men were locked up here last week for drunkenness, and the city officers say that in a majority of cases they had been betting on Cleveland and went on sprees to drown the,r sor- TOW. The worst case was &hanof a young farmer who had bet farm and mill that he had inherited, and who was left ho meless and penniless. the Harrl- son man who won the bet having served him with notice to get out HI. C. Tug-
Arizona weekly journal-miner., 1888-12-05
Notice to Taxpayers.

Office Of inc Treasurer of Yavapai County,
 Pres scott. Arizona, sept. 10. 1Se6 Notice is hereby given that the duplicate assessmcnt roll of the County of Yavapai Territory of Arizona, for the var lSSs. is nov in my possession for the collection of the taxes therein, and the taxes are now due and payable. Taxes will be delinquent on the third M MpndAy in Dec mber, next hereaft r. and unless paid on that day or prior tkere'" " per cent wi.l be added Q tie amount there. of as penaiti. l am ready r receive tax 6 for the year 1888 at my office. in the City oi Prescott, between the hour of 9 a. m. aud D. m fros, and after this date.
 ". C. BAsHFORD, County Treasurer and ex -Ofiicio Tax Collector Prescott October l. 1888.
Arizona weekly journal-miner., 1888-12-05

ner, a fine looking man, with nearly $aoo in money, some jewelry and valuable umbrella, was another prisoner. Itturned out that he was an importer of mules from Spain for the Kentucky market. and while in Indianapolis few days be- fore election left $s.o ID the poolroem to bet on Cleveland. Election night he was back at the poolroems. and every time republican chsered for Harrison he would fling his SIS umbrella on the floor, stamp his feet and howl fer Cleve' land.
Arizona weekly journal-miner., 1888-12-05
RANCH FOR SALE A Big Bargain.

One of the finest ranches in tho Verie val ley will be sold cheap. ntains 142 acres tf patented land neariy 5O acres In alfalfa, from which 200 tons can be harv, sted in on . season. Market for all products on tho ranch Ranch is centrally located, ten miles from Cherry creek and four and halt miles from Camp Verde. Good dwelling house with ex ira cellar and excellent we'll of water, barn, corral. nd oIibuildings; moving machines, hay haler and other farming implements c0h. plete. Al i'll b. sold for $4 800, pat cash and part on i'm Water in abundance for irrigation and sock, and splendid range d. joining. \ umb T of horses and cattle for sale a.so at d reasonable price.
 For further particulars apply on 'hr prem. ises tO J. II. JORDAN, Verde Valley, UT xt this office. sepa5f
Arizona weekly journal-miner., 1888-12-05
Travelling in cypsy Fashion.

A young English couple, copying the
 fashion of the gypsies. are travelling on the continent on built up wagon or a
 specie of the land yacht. From de- scription of the vehicle, the inWafes an
 dWp6sA would allow. In one corner
 of a single room, which is at once dining room, drawing room. bed cham
 Der and kitchen. lies madame's port folio of sketshes in another monsieur's photographic apparatus. while fixed in ingenious fashion to the walls, pretty much as on board ship. are rows of cook ing utensils. plates. glasses. fishing rods and great variety of odds and ends. For cooking petroleum stove is used. The caravan is drawn by tive robust Breton hosres, which are said to cover a good deal of ground every day. The system can be improved upon by the aid of a sumpter pony, that would greatly add to the convenience and comfort of this pleasant nomadic exls tence.-San Francisco Chronicle.
Arizona weekly journal-miner., 1888-12-05

It seems to be generally conceded that hereafter the federal officers in the territories will be appointed from residents Of the tesitoriea Judging from the tene Of the press both m Arizona and New Mezice. the favesite candidate fer governor is the defeated candidate for csngress-0eneral WiL son in Arizona and Aarian0 S Otere in New Mexico.-Westosn Lberal
Arizona weekly journal-miner., 1888-12-05
WonnOn 1nvon tors.

A somewhat interesting document has just been issued by the United States patent office, being list of all women inventors to whom patents have been issued. The fact which is most promi- nently brought out by this list is the re- markable development of the inventive faculty among American women in re- cent years. The tetal number ct patents given in this list is over a.ooo of which 1S8 were granted in 1887, being the largest number ever granted in one year. This is nearly four times as many patents as were granted to women during the first 70 years of the gover nment's existence, the total number of patents issued from I7eo to 1860 being only $.
 The first patent ever issued to woman was for straw weaving with silk or thread. to Mary Kies This was in 1899. Probably the oldest woman in' ventor now alive is Mrs Nancy M. John son, who invented an ice cream freezer in 1893. which she patented, and from which she realized considerable sum of money. It is an interesting fact that the second patent ever issued to wo man was to Mary Brush in l7rs for . corset. Since that time great ma patents have been issued to women . corsets, and in fact, a majority of all the patents issued to women are in some way connected with their dress. The first woman to take out an improvement on bustles seems to have been Harriet H. May. of Birmingham, Ct. This va: in 1872. and since that time a great many similar patents have been taken out by women.
Arizona weekly journal-miner., 1888-12-05
DISSOLUTION NOTICE.

The partnership heIe,ofore existing bG . tween shirley Stephens is this day al: . solved. All persons having accOu nts or notes sent taem to Steph sns immediately for pay. ment stephens will n t be responsible hr anything u less sig led or Orlered by nlni- self after this date. Person who have bt en owing me f. r me t evs since the hirth Q1 GRSla1 Vi V U kliHaeA 6e8fet Allen win Wait ups 4 those an nxiOus to pay their bills, hu. have not time 10 come to the shop to settle.
 Yours truly for a long time past.
 ,. Q. STEPHENS. Present.. A. T.. Nov, l3. lSSS.