The St. Johns herald. (St. Johns, Apache County, Arizona Territory [Ariz.]) 1885-1903, 1888-05-31
E2igrammatic and Othervi;e.

old, but then it is very, very good,
and hence worth reprinjing: A man
was once walking along one road
and a woman along another. The
roads finally united, and man and
woman, reaching the junction al
the same time, walked on from there
together. The man was carrying a
large iron-kettle on his back in one
hand he held By the leg live chick
en-, in tie other cane, and he was
leading a goat. Just as they were
coming to a deep, dark rayine tie
woman said TO the man I'm afraid
to 60 through that ravine with you
it is lonely place, and you might
oYerpower me and kiss me by force"
''If you were afraid of that" said
the man, ''you shouldn't have walk
ed with me at all. How can / pos
sibly overpower you and kiss you
by force when l have this great iron
kettle on my back, cane in one
hand, live chicken in the other,
and am leading goat? | might as
well be tied hand and foot I" Eyes"
replied the woman, "but if you
should stick your cane in the
ground and tie the goat to it, and
turn the kettle bottom side up and
put the chicken under it, then YOU
might wickedly kiss me in spite of
my resistance" Success to thy
ingenuity, o woman !" said the re-
joicing mansto Himself; II should
never have thought of such expe-
dients." And when they came to
the ravine he stuck his cane in the
ground and tie l the goat to it, gave
the chicken to- the woman, saying,
"Hold it while / cut some grass for
the goat" and then lowering the
kettle from his shoulders, impris-
oned the chicken under it, and
wickedly kissed the woman, as she
was afraid he would.
A traveller was eating supper in
the stuffy saloon of a Chesapeake
Bay steamboat, and when. he had
finished the meal the waiter brought
a fnger-bowl, with that extra touch
of colored pOliteness which pre-
coded the expected fee. The guest
moistened his fingers and lips from
the bowl, and then look of sur
prise overspread his face. what
is that2" he asked. water, sab"
Its kerosene. water, sab" Il
tell you it's Kerosene" said the
guest, angrily, as the fumes of coal
oil arose from his mustache and
fingers. "What do you take me for?
Do you think my mustache is a
lamp-wick? Maybe you think l
want to be torch-light procession?'
"Sah?" "Take that stuff away, |
tell You," Numbered the oil-covered
tourist. The terrified waiter obeyed
and moment later reappeared with
another bowl, and said tremblingly:
II reckon you was right, sab. |
done gave you the bowl what the
lamps drip in, sah."
A family of four, including the
grandfather, were coming up from
Florida by easy stages, and stop
ped over night in Richmond. The
old gentlemen had reached the bor-
der line of dotage and had to be
pretty carefully watched. 1t hap
pened that in the room over his
some water was spilled on the floor,
and, leaking through the thin cell
ing, it dripped on the old mans
bed. When his daughter entered
his room in the morning she found
her father sitting bolt upright in
bed, just under the leak, with an
umbrella spread over him. and an
expression of terror on his face.
"Maria, Maria" he whispered, husk-
lily, "the Day of Judgment has
come"
OF Matthew Arnold, who was
vary kindly entertained in Wash