The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1888-10-23
BUMPS AND JlNKS.

and only a day or two after the interview
on the wharf he found them at Thomas
Square waiting for the band. They
greeted each other and finding comfort
able bench settled themselves and con-
versation began.
q say, Bumps" says Jinks, what
was that last lection they had in August,
for? thought you told me the other
dav that they lected the hull gang last
wear, and besides, that measly paper
was telling you about only told about
two fellers running an one bein' 'lected. +"
"Oh, tell you how that was, Jinks
You see the legislature lost one of their
mess-an' it was a great loss too-an' a
man had to be 'lected to fill his place
So a lot OF covies was chosen as delegates
an they come together in that same
place where the legislator an the Court
meets, an they had quite spree. The
two men who was runnin' was Wilder
and Schmidt. They was both good men,
our 'steemed Teller citizens as they was
called, an both was possessed Nv sub
stanual bodies, an considerable human
natur'. Neither NV them was addicted
TO politics, an at first neither OF them
seemed to care much about it. But after
they began to think it over an the papers
told what great men they was, an each
found out the other was runnin', they
- +l,...r f4r,tx- -,
sacrifice their selves. Schmidt seemed
ter be the first ter have a realizing sense
of his duty, an when Wilder an his
friends found that out, il seemed TO
settle the matter all ter once, an Wilder
concluded ter sacrifice his sell too. 1t
was hard to tell which did sacrifice most.
For it was mighty inconvenient Tor
Wilder ter leave his blzlnesS, an
Schmidt had some beautiful clo'es he
used ter wear on big occasions. Ii
Wilder was 'lected he'd have ter leave
his biziniss, an if Schmidt was 'lected
he'd have ter leave his clo'es. tell you
Schmidt did look handsome in them
clo'es, an he had q royal step, an you'd
think him an sum King was twins. But
Wilder was an old dimicrat, an he
smelled powder, an he says by Gineral
Jackson an all the lmps Nv free trade |
don't want ter, but got ter An
Schmidt SAYS donnerwetter, somebody
hold me, or the cork'n blow out an I'll
spatter all over As usual the victims
was wonderful porlite ter each other all
along till the convention met. An they
was each filled with anxious thoughts
about the condition Nv the country; an
how they never could have consented ter
run had it not been for the great crisis
in the fairs Nv the nation;' an there
wasn't no body else fit ter run; an they
wondered they'd never 'preciated before
what dignity it was to be q Noble, an
as they thought 1t over they was sur
prised ter find how unsuited the other
was for the office. Schmidt walked
about soft an quiet like, an increased
more an more; an Wilder spent con-
siderbul time leaning up agin the house
on the sidewalk, with his hat over his
eyes, twisting his watch chain an list
ming to fellers on the inside who didn't
want ter interfere, but jess tho't they'd
mention it, you know.
{" But l say, Bumps" said Jinks, what
lsv does 8 Noble get-mus' be something
pretty good2"
Oh, links, YOU is green. There isn't
no pay at all, an it costs a good deal be-
sides. It's for the honor, Jinks-the
glory. Now hold on, don't interrupt
When you cum ter think how it would
sound ter be called Honerbul Mr..
Jinks.' an in writtin' home mention it,
incidental like, that your duties in the
House OF Lords occupied SO much Nv yer
time YOU must be brief and then after
the exhaustion of the session hev ter
take a vacation an travel There's lots
Nv things in this life that's not what they
is, but what we thinks they is,
"Wall, as | was about ter say, the
evening came. The sacrifices. afore !
they left home, told their wives they
didn't care two pins about it, an they
hoped they wouldn't git .lected. But |
somehow they wasn't hungry much at
dinner, an was cross, an put on their |
best clo'es an slicked their hair, an
was an hour too early for the show; an 1
as they set notes.-the in back seats |
they hitched about an acted like young |
gals at their furst party.
When the crowd was all in, kinder /
presbyterian lookin' doctor called 'em 4
Ter order. an they 'lecIed chairman,
an committees an things an backed |
an filled good deal, as they alwus does
before they gifts off.
1.-The chairman made some remarks |
about keepin' steady an mindin' their
helms an they'd all get 'lected; an a
reported they had examined /
the articles an found the delegates all |
regularly shipped, an then they went
ter work.
A committee on revolutions reported |
somethin' that jingled pretty well but
didn't mean nothin', an then one teller
sed he that tho't 'lepers an Chinese was
TOO prevalent An that pretty Teller,
what has billiard room down town,
Jumps up an saws, yes, we must put q
plank in the Chinese an the crowd
hollered an scraped their feet. An
another Teller moved that they insert a
Chinese in their ante-platform,' an the
crowd hollered lowder still. An then
made the committee 90 back an bring
in another revolution. When they
came back an read it there was such
screechsn' could only hear part OF it,
Int there was somethin' about definite
an, comprehensive Chinese restricting
thiscountrv,' an 'immigrating injustice,
an sech like. After they got tired shout
ing one teller got up an nominated Mr..
Schmidt. an another nominated Mr..
Wilder an everybody holered loWder
each time
. An then the candidates was called