New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-02-29
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THE TALK or TIE DAY.

n
tho most artistic and least conventional
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THE TALK or TdE DAY.
Thu fondnesS OF tho colorcd people for grandiosc
names is well known. The other day a gentleman
who was walking through street in savannah over
heard an irate negro mother thus shdiesS her .Wo
children, who playing on tho street onVer
Wendell Holmes and Ada Isaacs Menken, II yos don't
como hi to yo supper this moment, III spank the
both Of yes well
About two years ago a Philadelphia man, who had
NOT a cent I'm his nocbst burion ed $40 rom friend,
made a bucket-hop investment, ana Is nov WORTH
$40 600 which shows that Trend In need Is friend
Indeed Iut there is another side TO tho picture.
About two Yeas ago man who was worth *4o'VVo
spccuated in stocks ana now has not cch' III MS
booklet NOrfStOwn Herald
Apropos of Canon KnoxLttlc's crusade against
clerical mustaches. a correspondent says HE
TRrDUNE's Characterization of tho Canon as Knox
ct preerea nhlP Is clever, but think that Knox ct
preterea Little would be even bctter.'
A COSMOPOLITAN WOMAN.
She went around and ashed Subscriptions
FOR the heather bl2ch Egyptians
And the Terra dol tueg ans,
she did;
For the tliUes round AIhabasca,
Aud tho men Madagascar,
And the poor sour, OF Alaska
so sho did;
She l0nged, she sad, to buy
Jelly care, and jam and pie
For the AnthiopOphagt,
Ilcr heart ached for the Australians
And the BOTIObOOi Ohal!aD
And the poor, dear Aniahaggar,
Yes, IL did,
And she loved tho back Numidan,
And the eboh ALyssnian
And the charcoal colo cd Gnlnean,
Oh, she did,
Ar she SAID she'd the soas
With q ship Of bread and cheese
For those starving Chimpanzecsi
Sure, She did
How she loved the cold Norwegian
And the poor hali-me Ite LIE ieei0oan'
She sen, S: s end canned sss r .Sssss
But her husband cat potato,
The MOOR Selp pH s,' homeless thing
my voice falters az sing
Tied his clothes up with a string,
'''' No MS ". Foss in The Judge.
George Frances Train has discovered tho most
astonishing system of white slavery in Canada, and
intends to give a couise of lectures In Canada ana
England in which he will show 1t up. CHizon Train
also announces that the devil is dead and that tho
fires Of hell extlnguished
House Hunter-But this is an awfully dismal place.
II was young. now, WOuuht nllHu IL ~ hiu'H' NN'
Real Estate Agent-But, my dear sir you, cant
live long at the iarthest don't you SEQ, II u IS
little gloomy you'l only have to stand 1t for few
years.-(Boston Transcript
Western man who has boon visiting New-Ehg'and
saws that 1t Is no wonder things so quiet In that
region the farms being so poor that even dls-
turbance could not be raised them Well, maybe
that Is So but great many Of the big men Of the
West were reared on New England farms.
At Reception .,.,.
Host-My dear, aren't you afraid Mr. selfconeeit
will get too much vino $3.50 -.
IIOstess-Oh no. He's so full of himself no can't
got full on any thing else.-W ashinton Critic
Chemically prepared cigarette paper is imported
Into this country at the OF 1000 worth day
Hon. J. S. Miller, Commissioner of Internal Rev
enue has little boy and girl, Lee and Law aette, 10
tho public schools, and in the last quarterly report orr
Lee stood away up near the perfect poh'' ou' Ills
How is this. Lavaletel' inquired her mother
Oh that's all right" she sald with superior
air Lees marks are better than mine, but / have
a good deal moro fun than he does.-(WaShlneton
Critic
A letter was recently received at tho Liverpool
post Office addressed Boston, Lincolnshire And
the sapent clerk found it put 1t in the mail for
Boston, Mass, not knowing apparently that there
was Boston in England
Ardent lover ION his knees" Can you, then doubt
my affection. darlingl 1t is eternal as the hills
everlasting as the valleys All a'R sweetest Is
IanrHid beauty. Ask me paw, George. -,
then your paw, darling. "-(Binghamton Republican
A long felt want in the ball An automatic
train that will get out OF the way of an awkward
The Folly of woman;-"I think that the modern
woman has mighty little sense. She Will sacrifice
health ara comfort and everything else In order to
be considered fashionable"
There IS some truth In that $500,
Now, / fairly adore my wife, but am not blind
to her weaknesses Some Of her freaks In dress are
fairly barbarous.'
It's lie same with all women BY the way,
that's a LAUNDERING old tile you have on Why are
you wearing such thingl'
"Oh, / know IT'S terror but It's all the style
In New York row. I just came from there, you
know" -tLincoln Journal
The latest device In the electric light line IS said
to be a shade which intensles the light at least IS
per cent
Judge Gary was hearing q that called for
jury trial, aud after the usual wrsngng that always
tries his patience the jury was selected and sworn
The judge settled back in his chair, thinking that
the case fairly started when UP jumped little
German who sitting in one end OF the Jury box;
the judge, shortly "shudge, t'ink Ike to go
doan' tnk mako good shMror" u.o You're the
and the little Fellow getting desperate, doan'
speak goot English You'll not have TO speak any
at all" "And. sbndge. ! can't mako nodings oudt
Of vot dose fellels Indicating the attorneys talk
Ing aboudtn That's no excuse Neither can any
else. SIT down ."-(Chicago Tribune.