Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-02-22
How Mr.. Johnson Kept House.

OF leaving nome 10 visit her mother,
who had invited her.
"But how will you get along while
| am gone? ?"
GAS if l could not keep house as
well as any woman % said Mr.. John
son, Indignantly. THAT is, if l had
mind to. 1t would be a little
strange if man that could build
steam engine, and tame the electricity,
and calculate the eclipses for hundreds
of years to come, could not boil
potato, and make coffee in a potp
eyes, yes, ! suppose SO" said Mrs.
johnson "but I'll confess, Charley,
that l never looked at it in that light
before. / never supposed that, in be-
ing scientific man, the art of being
able to cook well came along with
it. But no doubt you are right, and,
if you think you can manage for a
fortnight, I'll 60 to mothers to-mor-
row."
Manage? OF course | can man.
age. And you shall see that l will
have as neat a house and as good a
table as you, and not spend all of my
time puttering round, as woman do,
either"
So Mrs. johnson, relying upon her
husbands capacity as household
manager, departed for her mothers.
Mr.. johnson had invited Sam
Brooks, bachelor chum of his, to
come and board at the house with
him during the absence of Mrs. John
son. He had boosted of his ability
to manage domestic affairs more than
once before Brooks, and he wanted to
prove that he had not been overrat-
ing his talent.
Mrs. johnson had kindly offered
"to leave something cooked" but her
husband had objected. So the young
wife gave the bread and cold meat
that were left from breakfast, on the
morning of her departure, to needy
tramp, and Johnson's cupboard in
consequence was left bare literally.
Brooks had come over the previous
night, to help Johnson "start out
fair" and, when Mrs. johnson was
out of the house, the two men began
planning their work for the day.
81 am to be at the office at eleven"
said johnson, land it is now nine.
That gives us two hours to get dinner
cooking, wash the dishes, and do the
chamberwork Dinner will cook
while we are downtown, of course.
My wife always gets it going, and
then sits down to her sewing or her
fancy-work, till it's time to put it on
the table. Brooks, did it ever strike
you that women have an ALTERED
easy time of it?'
"Of course they have" said Brooks,
with e, .phasis. Anybody could see
that, with half an eye. Yet they're
always complaining of being over
worked"
swell, women are natural COM
planners, ] suppose" said johnson,
hunting around after his wife's apron,
and getting it on up under his arms,
wrong-side.out. "Now I am uniform.
ed. Let us wash the dishes aud talk
over what we'll have for dinner"
He seized the boiling tea-kettle from
the stove, but dropped it instantan-
eously, and the water ran into the
hod, and under the mat, and under
the door into the dinning-room.
"Ou-g-h" cried johnson, blowing
and rubbing his scalded wrist, sit
must have been the steam. Confound
the thing l didn't think of the
steam. Good gracious. the waters
running all over the house. Give me
a rag quick I'll mop it up"
He seized the fine damask table.
cloth which Brooks handed him from
drawer in the kitchen, got down on
his knees, and commenced sopping up
the water.
"Your coat-tails are in the c, al
hod," cried Brooks. "By George |
it's too bad, and that delicate gray.
too %
johnson got up with hurried
whisk of the tail aforesaid, and they
swept a ive-dollar china tureen from
the table, and broke it into fragments.
ut never rains but it pours," said
johnson, striving hard to keep his
temper, as he surveyed the wet black
streaks on his coat. "I'll send it to
my uncle in the country, and say
nothing to Anne about it. We've
made rather bad beginning, Sam
but shall come out all right. And
we'll wash the dishes in cold water"
(Which will you do-wash or
wipei' asked Brooks.
"I'll wash, because have an apron
on" said Johnson, rs he piled the
dishes into the pan misccllaneously,
tin pans, china all together, and dish.
ed some cold water on them. Where's
the dish-cloth, wonder ?" poking
oro,n1 ,aIo. H. i'll