The prison mirror. [volume] (Stillwater, Minn.) 1887-1894, 1888-07-04


in the German language.
The Basket Has a XVrestle With His
Clock.
Editor Mirror:
How much solid comfort can be derived from a
clock? CT course you don't know. Neither does
any one else who can not afford such luxury.
Please understand that don't blame you for your
ignorance of this subject 1t certainly is rot your
fault, but your misfortune.
have had Waterbury watch and imagined
that it made my life worth living. Conceive. if
you can, the easy. smooth flowing channel of bliss
which has been mine since owning, rather regu-
lating, a clock. This clock is time-piece.
regulator, nckle- plated nuisance, with a belfry
and fire alarm. My experience with this clock
has been varied. 1t is not a winder. and
consequently when the key can't be found it is
idle and is used as an ornament. Like all other
small things it is noisy and troublesome. I got
this clock one day when we had bread pudding for
dinner. l saved the pudding to eat that night.
L intended to have nice, digestble lunch
sisting of bread pudding and cheese. This clock
had such intention. l wound something w hich
thought was the clock. but which proved later
to be the belfry and placed the clock on my what
not and proceeded to do some work. The clock
was company for and it looked well in my
room. 1t made itself heard and diverted my
thoughts from the monotonous routine of
quiet life. was not very we'll acquainted with
it, so was on the alert for any suspicious actions
on its part. For two solid hours its pulse was
regular and about sixty per minute, all the even.
ing had faced it. Desiring to lunch L thought I'd
take my pudding and cheese from the shelf back
Of me. 1 had to turn my back to the clock to get
my lunch. While standing my tip-toes. hold.
ing the plate very carefully to lose none of
the wine sauce, the whole business, clock, belfry
and fire alarm. suddenly began a series of indie
scribable rafting, banging and changing 1 never
heard such rumpus. My first thought was that
l had gotten hold of the electric wire instead of
the pudding-for some one had been in my room
that day and left. Intentionally or otherwise
some electric wires with teddy stick attached
and that was being most outrageously shocked.
L turned quickly in the direction of the noises my
plate caromed on the left leg OF my trousers and
finally settled on the floor, while the wine sauce
in sticky little. slow-fowing streams down my
trousers leg. l didn't know what to do. couldn't
unwind the clock; couldn't stop it; l couldn't
get away from it, and if the guard should come up
and demand an explanation l couldn't play asleep
and innocent on him with this heathensh racket
in full blast-so 1 hastily wrapped blanket
around the tricky tme-piece. put my pillow over
it and sat on the pillow. The noise at last ceased.
Then 1 attempted to remove the sauce from my
trousers. was afraid to take them off to wash
them for the cloth had not been shrunk and the
probabilities were that I'd be forced to play the
Greek Slave" the ne xt morning, (my wardrobe
is very limited you know.) My trousers were
very wet it was getting late, and was afraid I'd
have to sleep with my psntsloons on. 1 sat up
after taps quite a while. The clock licked louder
and louder; did every thing possible to kill time
At last my trousers became dry and turned in,
but not to sleep. The clock kept me awake and
l could not rid my self of it.
The next morning was all out of Sorts but I
grasped the alarming creature and started for the
Office. The belfry had become loose in the nights
riot and when reached the head Of the stairway
it separated itslf from the clock. The belfry re-
manned with me, but the clock bounded from step
to step till finally it rested on the paving in the
yard in front Of the laundry 1 wasn't afraid of
the clock. but had unpleasantly queer feelings
towards it, At length succeeded in putting its
parts together. L think must have gotten the
combination a little mixed for the blessed Sleep
destroying Undetermined piece Of mechanism now
loses time On its back is engraved '.East-SIow''
with dinctun Of some sort between Fast and
SLOW I've moved the dinctum as far as could
towards East and as consequence my Sunday
may come few days previous to yours.
like good, honest, healthy clocks but please
deliver me from dyspeptic, epileptic sounding
boards. 1t is not my purpose to decry all clocks.
out When you purchase such article beware of
the Emo by which have been made miserable,
supersttiOus and untidy. BASKET