Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1888-09-22
The Art Of Listening.

1t was pointed out short lineage,
by a writer we'll qualified to Judge of
his subject, that the art of converse
ton is gradually dying out in Eng
land. We write great deal more
than our fathers did, but we say less.
A falling off is visible both in the
Quality and quantity of our converse
ton. 1t is obvions that by converse
ton the writer does not mean the ex-
change of observations which is car
ried on with sufficient liveliness
wherever men and women gather to-
gether for what they describe as So
cial intercourse. Of this species of
talk there is no dearth; and if there
were we should hardly consider it
cause for serious regret. But our au-
thor complains that the conversation
which used to be cultivated, and
rightly, as one of the fine arts, has
been of late years persistently neg
lected, until society has lost one of
its greatest charms. Be this as 1t
may, let us ask our readers to turn
their particular attention to kindred
subject of equal importance-we
mean the art of listening. Much as
we may deplore the loss of good talk
ers, it would be far more disastrous
were the race of good listeners to be
allowed to die out. A good talker is
one Of the luxuries of life, to be
brought out and enjoyed on special
occasions. A good listener is essential
to the everyday comfort of home.
Nay, further, we have no doubt that
the decrease ofthe former is largely
due to the rarity of the latter. There
are many of us who are secretly con-
scious we could talk well if we had
any one to listen to us. We are ST.
lent for the lack of an audience. The
writer knew an old French marquis
who held strong opinions on this sub
iect. His earnest and reiterated adj
vice on the topic of matrimony was
concentrated chiefly on this point.
marry handsome woman if you
will; a rich one if you can," he used
to say, "but in any case marry wo-
man who listens" And this he con-
sidered the only true method of clas-
styling the sex. Others might view
them as good and bad, clever or stu
pid pretty or plain. He asserted SIM
ply that there are women who listen
and men who do not. He added
that the latter were in the majority.
We trust that no one will hastily in
fer that we are so behind the age as
to consider that listening is the eX-
elusive province of women. That
they can talk, and talk to some pur.
pose, has been so clearly demOnstrat.
ed that there are few who would now
be bold enough to deny it. AT the
same time, we are sure that good
listeners are more often found among
women than among men. The
quickness of woman's perception
the warmth of her sympathies, her
capacities of endurance-these are
the very qualities essential to rea
proficiency in the art. Is there any
picture more lovely, in the whole
gallery of Shakespeare's women, thar
the portrait of the beautiful Vene
tian winning Othello's heart by tht
perfection Of her listening? Some o
the most popular women have Meth
er beauty, rank nor wealth to recon-
mend them; we have known sucf
owe their position in the hearts o
their friends chiefly to the fact tina
they were the most charming of lis
teners. On the other hand hov
many women are there whose useful
ness and happiness are marred by
their ignorance of this accomplish
ment.
Let us give an illustration of GU
meaning. Where could you find
sweeter, brighter, more lovable wifi
than Beatrice? AS Benedict sits or
posite to her by the fireside after din
ner and watches her graceful heat
bending over her book, he may we
feel proud of her. 81 met William
in the city today" he says present
ly, odd you, my dear?" says Beat
rice, looking up from her move
eyes. He says he thinks that hous
of Parker's would be the very thin
for us. There are six rooms-kitche
on ground floor, and a good stri
of garden." ga good striplof garde
on the ground floor" repeats Bea
rice DREAMY, her eyes on the pag,
81 wish you'd listen to what III
saying" says Benedict, somewhs