The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-11-17

NnAAO Uh01 WI AOu Ou Cu6 principle OF
the circulation of the blood, ending
where it began to move and moving
where it began to end
1t was midnight when arrived In
Pittsburg. Instead of remaining on
the boat, as sane man would have
done, l wandered out upon the levee,
amid piles Of freight, coal and iron
that covered the banks of the Ohio
river. About daylight found myself
In modest hotel, not far from Duf,s
college. After breakfast, with no
sleep the previous night, l saw Mr..
Duff at his school. If I remember
rightly he used an ear trumpet to aid
his defective hearing. I entered my
name on the school roll, purchased
some books, and spent few hours In
writing up common day journal.
That evening, on my return to the
hotel, felt my mission to berthe lee
ture field or theatrical boards, and as
large number of mediocre people
succeeded in those vocations, there was
no reason why man of my imagined
greatness should not at once "hire q
hail." Surprise the natives" and
scoop in fortune in night.
The next day went to q printing
office and had some bills struck of
advertising an intellectual variety
show at Lafayette hall. / even went
to the trouble to have tin box made
wherein the doorkeeper might put the
cash and tickets received by him in
the rush of the natives to hear "the
most wonderful prodigy of the age"
That is the way l put 1t on the bills.
The same night of the advertisement
l appeared at Lafayette hall, and, with
song, dance, poetry, oratory and
flights Of lunatic fancy, surprised the
few stragglers who paid their money
to see a real living lunatic on the
mimic stage of life
Poor King Lear, with the dead
Cordoba in his arms, crying for the
vault of heaven to crack, was not more
mad than l, instructing and amusing
an audience In public hall of a great
city. The curtain was finally rung
down, the lights turned out, and the
bill-poster met me at the door to re-
ceive compensation for services rem
dered. l, like all great men, referred
the plebeian to my agent, the fellow
who kept the tin box and its contents.
To this day have never learned the
fate Of the bill poster or agent, but
there are people in Pittsburg who
may yet remember how they were
taken in by lunatic. Yet Phi bet a
button that they have often since been
the victims of men not half az honest
and sincere as was that time.
l next turned up in Wheeling, wan
dering about the streets and among
the homes of former friends. From
Wheeling 1 went to Moundsville and
thence to Marietta, o. While at this
latter place some humane person took
me up and placed me in the county
asylum. For the first time was de-
prived of liberty, and my proud, royal
spirit realized the shock and outraged
nature turned with a bound and
smashed everything intervening be-
tween 1t and freedom. I felt like kill
ing my keeper, and all that prevented
me from doing so was the chance to
indulge my fury at being locked up.
My father found me in about ten
days. When l left with him for nv
home in Kentucky l was as kind as q
sportive lamb, and ratified away about
my great perpetual motion invention.
also showed my father how could
take the ordinary pebbles of the earth
and turn them into gold. AS an evil
dence of my sincerity 1 took from my
jacket brass pin, scratched pebble,
and 10 and behold it turned to yellow
gold!
Even to this day can see the smile
on the lip and the tear in the eve of
my dear father, who seemingly as
sented to my hallucination and even
fattered my vanity.
In due time we arrived at my home
in Mount Sterling. For few DAYS /
seemed to be recovering from the ma
mia that pursued me, and when thrown
among schoolmates and friends CLEANS
Of sanity would come and 70 like
wavelets on summer sea. It soon
became plain to my friends, however,
that the lunatic asylum was the
proper place for one of my deranged
mind. With sorrow and regret q jury
was empaneled, an investigation took
place and / was in due form pro-
nounced non c0mpos naentis, and or
dered sent to the Eastern Lunatic asy-
lum at Lexington, KY.
The next morning I mounted the
stage box with q keeper and friend,
and rode out on the Winchester pike,
singing on the way with heart as
light as the mist on the mountains. 1
imagined that I had been elected to
the legislature of Kentucky, and was
on my way to Frankfort to make laws
for lot of crazy people In Montgom-
cry county. When we arrived in
Lexington was taken out to see what
was pictured to me as the Capitol of