davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-12-26
Big Bug and Small Potato.


Ex-Attorney- General Palmer is fond Of a joke
and he isn't put out a bit if the joke is on him,
just so it is funny. He dresses very neatly and
is not given TO Jewelry except in the matter of
scarf-p:ns, and an adornment of this character
once led TO a remark about him that set all
Wilkesbarre to laughing. He had purchased a
very handsome pin in the shape of bug, which
was of rather loud size and lpretty conspicuous.
1t looked like an exaggerated potato bug. His
friends guyed him considerably about it. and
that scarf-pin became the talk of the town. One
day prominent German saloon-keeper passed
Mr. Palmer as the latter stood at his Office door,
looked out the corner of his eye at the scarf pin
and smiled. Instantly the attorney, in his
quick, sharp way, said:
well Dutchy. what's the matter with you?
What are you laughing at?
"Oh, nodings, Mr.. Balmer."
"le S, you we're. You were laughing at this
scarf-pin. What's the matter with ity''
Il guess It's all right, Mr.. Balmer"
well, look at it and see, Is there anything
the matter with it? Examine it."
The German drew nigh, carefully scanned the
pin, looked it over gravely. and was about to
turn away, when Mr.. Palmer said:
well, what's the matter with that bug scarf
pin? What do you thinky''
we'll, Mr.. Balmer, said the German, 81 don'd
know but vat think never before saw so big
a bug on so schmall a potato and he walked
of with queer grin on his face.
The remark struck Mr.. Palmer as being ex-
ceedingly funny, and he told it to some of his
friends. go
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-12-26
ALaw Newspapers Will Test.

The law providing for the execution of
criminals by electricity in New York will
go into effect Jan. l. Some months ago
doubt was expressed by scientists and others
as to whether the method would be success
full 1t was feared that in many instances
intended victims would be merely stunned,
because the electric current would not be
strong enough, or that the executions
would be unusually revolving, because the
current would be too strong. The posi-
bility of applying the method successfully
is still doubted by many, notwithstanding
its practicability seems to have been estab-
ished by experiments on animals.
Great interest will be felt in the first exc
cutioD under the new law. not only because
the method will be more or less of an e.
pertinent, but because most of the ssafiny
newspapers in New York city, and many OF
those outside Of the city, have declared their
intention to publish detailed accounts of the
scenes, regardless of the law prohibiting
them from doing SO. The clause on this
point declares that no account of the de-
tails of such an execution, beyond the fact
that the criminal was duly executed accord
ing to law on the day set apart, shall be
published in any newspaper, and that any
person who shall violate or omit to comply
with this provision shall be guilty of mis-
demeanor, and shall be punished accord
ingly.
The newspapers which propose to violate
this provision declare it to be unconstitu-
tional, inasmuch as it would restrict that
freedom of the press which is guaranteed
by the constitution. Legal opinion on this
point has not been published, but the editor
Of New York newspaper says: "Execut-
ing murderers is the execution Of process
Of the courts, and IL the law can forbid the
publication Of the details of the manner in
which that process is executed it can also
say we must not publish accounts of Grim
inal trials
1t is a question il the suppression Of the
scenes Of executions, in which the details of
the crime, of the criminals conduct in prison
and upon the scafTold down to the ''sicken-
ing thud" and the ''last convulsive shudder,'
and in which the criminal is made sort Of
hero, would not DO attended with good re-
suits. The greater number of the newspa-
pers Of New York don't appear 10 think so,
however.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-12-26
His Persuasive Eloquence.
From the Mew York Star


Every democratic politician In New York city
who attended state conventions ten years and
more ago will drop a tear over Edwin o. Perrin.
He was, up to a few years ago. the soul of every
democratic gathering He mad two famous
stories which he would deliver with spirited
imitations-one entitled Maria and the other
entitled 1.-THE EmRrants Pia'-which will recur
to the memory OF all who knew Perrin. In the
days of Bleeding Kansas he went out there with
Robert J. Walker to deliver speeches for the
Lecompton constitution, and at Leavenworth,
at the very opening exhibition on his tour. he
found himself billed to speak in debate AZ ainst
the redoubtable Jim Lane himself from the
same platform. Lane had the right OF opening
tho debate, and began so with the remark:
Fellow citizens, we are met here In the inter-
est OF a free government and of free speech
stand. We all hope that courtesy and good
viii shall rule our meetings. and that no min
ions OF the federal government, proud and ar
rogant IN their usurpation OF power over the
fair territory, Will venture 10 disturb us. Here
there was Immense applause, and MIR. Lane
took advantage Of the interruption TO lay big
horn handled bowie knife next 20 the pistol
IF my esttinabe friend here" ho resumed,
bowling very politely 70 Perrin, and the corps
Of border rufiians which ! understand have
been imported with him 10 take part In this de-
bate, fully and accurately uHdernland our
position, and presume they do. we ~,ll now
proceed 20 discussion Of tho great issues DO.
fore Us"
Perrin was accompanied by Fred Stanton a
Buchanan congressman. who whispered 10 him.
You want ~ iay out Jour weapons the same
way" When Perrin declared be had nothing
bat pCcketknife about him, stanton vas
tbuDdefsirick, aBf TrOfpDsed going - the fort
DefF 10 AID geffluR ~ ieaTf a e0Ifle Of car.
Dimes. i5ut = cyil1n'i b. done. aud Perrin bad
= ffpf Sltsg8i weapon exeeff be tongue.
a. occasion. sAnd. hs a5Ss8 ~ pail,enes.
500 ear ~ attention ~ tbs egsaifitsnsss u tie
saglsDos q Nas . u0sslH
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-12-26
The Dudes Dismay.
From the 81. Louis Republl

Washington is getting to be great resort for
dudes, and. while they come here from all the
large, and, indeed, from many OF the smaller
cities of the country, the New York and Boston
variety is about the rankeSt specimen observed
at the capital They read so much in the paper
about the goings-on here that they come to the
conclusion that it is just too utterly utter to
spend few weeks here, even if they don't go
the whole winter social season. The dudes are
now beginning to arrive. There is a lum-tum
up town combination hotel and restaurant
where only men Of means can afford to STOP
and where it costs money to eat and sleep. One
day this week New York dude pranced in
and Immediately after registering handed his
card to the clerk with this request: "My deah
fellah, won't you be good enough, doncher
know, to have the eftanoon papahs announce
my arrivali"
FAN right said the clerk, and the name was
sent down TO the newspaper offices
The dude then fused around, and after taking
a drink repaired TO his room. He remained
there few moments, when he reappeared at
the office and with a sigh said: Jaw, really
am needing fresh air. Won't you order me
carriage?
He got the vehicle and went driving When he
returned he went to the cafe. Tapping a bell
he said to the employe who answered: Jaw,
waitah, the aftahnoon papahs."
The papers procured, he squared back and
fixing his one eye lass on his right optic began
to search the personal columns. Suddenly he
exclaimed: well, / be -, IL they haven't
spelled my name wrong"
The dude simply collapsed. He revived only
after getting dash Of brandy and soda.
The New York dudes try to pose as real bad
bold fellahs" when they come here, but the
New England and southern dudes are not so
demonstrative. They are more quiet. but are
bigger fools than those who blow IN from the
metropolis The afternoon receptions which
are held in Washington during the social season
are what make this city so attractive for the
visiting dudes.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-12-26
BRIGHT BITS.

FIRST OYSTER lat a church fair)-There was
three of us at first. What has become of the
other one?
Second Oyster Qnclined to be slangy)-He's
in the soup. Philadelphia Record.
HoRTENsE-what an awful squeeze there was
at the Won Twiller reception last night
Grace-Yes; George and had to sit outside,
on the stairs.
Hortense Did the squeeze continue out there :
Life.
Gated, my good man. Beware, you will eventu-
ally fill a drunkards grave.
Intoxicated Man-Yesh. Ave filled many a
drunkerd's grave hic-'m sexton down at the
-hic-shemetery.-
WHAT is wonderful about you?" asked the
visitor to the museum. Can you crush a cart
wheel between your thumb and forefnger or
make your chest big enough to hold the crown
jewels of England?'
mo. I'm the clergyman who hasn't preached
q sermon on Robert Elsmere. '"-EUening Sun
Mrs blow is the contested will case COM
Mr.. Shimmer-It's all settled, and in my
favor.
Mrs. B.-I congratulate you. 1 suppose you
will be taking your family TO Europe now?
Mr.. Shimmer-No; but understand my law
yer sails next week.-LUe.
HE-You have considered, darling. the ser
iousness of the step you have consented to take
Married life, you know, is not all roses. Do you
Jnlnk you can Dear 10 su1t5F as Wen as 10 re-
joice?
She-Indeed can Charles! Haven't l worn
shoes two sizes too small ever since was IA
years old?-London TidBits
Is MARRIAGE AFAILURE?-Mr. Franklin Square
Injecting an old university chum on Chestnut
street)-O, by the way, dear boy, / hear you re
engaged Allow me to congratulate you.
Mr. South RittenhouSe-You're a trifie late:
I've been married these six months.
Mr. Franklin Square, beg your pardon, old
man. Permit me to condole with you.-The
Quaker.
up to few years ago there was not a lawyer
in the whole Chinese empire" How in the
name of Blackstone did the pig-tailed heather
break a will, anyway Fancy ChInaman dy-
ing and bequeathing $50, 900 to charitable in
sLitutions and no lawyer in the country to per-
suade the heirs to contest the will, No wonder
China is called benighted country.-Norris-
totDn Herald.
Mrs GADD-Oh, I'm just dying to get out and
tell Mrs. Gabb all the awful things my upstairs
girl has told me about the Blifkns family
where she used TO live.
Mr.. Caldwell. why don't you go?
don't dare to. Mrs. Blifkins is trying TO coax
my cook of, and know she'll run in the first
time leave the house, and if she gets our cook
she'll learn all about us.-NeU YORK Weekly.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-12-26
The Same Old Game.

why, Mr.. Jones, how are your said a neatly
dressed young man to a stranger on Woodward
avenue this morning, and how is everybody in
Ypsilanti! You're looking we'll How are the
young ladies!'
Look here, young man you have the advan-
tage of me-"
well, now. that's too good. Mr.. Jonesl
Don know me, Ell; Why, I'm John Smith, the
bankers son. and met you at Ypsilanti last fall
when father and / were there"
Seems to me your face is familiar So you're
Smiths son. And how are all your foks?''
They're well, Mr.. Jones' By the way l was
just going down.
Say, Smith," interrupted the green-looking
Ypsiantian, I'm mighty glad met you. l
want to raise $500 the worst way. Now. if you
could just go on my note at your fathers
bank"
But the would-be bunco had disappeared
The rural citizen placed his hand at the tip of
his nose and wiggled mis- fingers suggestively.
He had travelled
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-12-26
THE MORNING NEWS: WEDNESDAY. DECEMBER &c. 1885,
A Slim Chance of success.

The Rev. Edward T. Fleming, of Athens.
has teen talking to New York newspaper
about his recent race for congress in the
Eighth Georgia district. where he was de-
feated by Capt. Henry Fl. Carlton. He ex-
pressed great satisfaction at having received
more than half as many votes as his oppo-
nent. This, he said, indicated that the re-
pubhcans of the district were beginning to
take more interest in elections, and that the
| time was not very distant when a republi-
lican congressman would be elected He
estimated that there were about 40, 900 male
citizens Of voting age in the district. and
that of that number, on full vote, the
| democrats could not poll more than Is, 900.
Accepting this estimate of the voting pop
ulation of the district as the correct one, it
is hardly probable that republican candi-
date could be elected.
1t would be almost impossible to get the
full republican vote TO the polls. That vote
is composed almost entirely of colored peo-
| pie, many of whom take little or no interest
| in politics, and are not likely to take more
two, four or eight years hence.
Among the colored people who would go
to the polls quite number would be viz
| tually disfranchised because they would not
have paid their poll tax. If this unpaid tax
should be only for the year next preceding
the election, they might pay it and vote, but
perhaps in a majority of instances it would
be for several years, and very few colored
people would be willing to pay 81, So or S.
for the privilege of voting.
OF the qualified colored voters, consid-
cradle number could be persuaded, without
| a resort to unfair or coercive measures of
any sort. to vote the democratic ticket
There probably are democrats in the dis
trict who could divide the qualified colored
vote almost equally with any republican
who might be nominated
These things would cut down the repub-
lican vote below the figure necessary to in
sure republican success, and what is true of
the Eighth district is true of every other in
the state where the colored population pre-
dominates, and probably of every such dis
| trlct in the south.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-12-26

OF course nobody, unless it is Gen. Har-
rison and few trusted friends, knows who
will be offered places in the next cabinet,
but some sort Of idea may be formed from
the different statements that have been
made regarding the matter. At present it
seems more likely that the place of Secre-
tary of State will be offered to Mr.. Blaine
or Senator Sherman; that Of Secretary OF
the Treasury to Senator Allison; that Of
Secretary OF War to Gen. Alger, and that
of Postmaster General to Mr.. Wanamaker,
with strong probability that Mr.. Swift,
of California, will be invited TO take the
interior portfolio. Should a selection be
made from New York, it seems probable
that ex-senator Warner Miller will DE the
man Future developments may render all
forecasts worthless, but this one probably
is about as correct as any that can be made
at this time
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-12-26
Another Famous Victory,
From Americd.

from america.
II was an autumn evening;
Old CaSpar's work was done;
And he before his cottage door
Was sitting in the sun;
And by him sported on the green
His little grandchild, Wilhelmine.
And as he sat and smoked, he saw
That little maid draw near,
Avoiding in her little palm
A severed human ear,
While DER the field appeared in view
OF human segments not few.
Her brother James came likewise with
The little cart he owns
Quite filed with legs and arms and dis
Located collar bones
Old Casper looked, and then quoth he:
1T was famous victorie.
Across the field are stains of gore,
And whitening bones see,
AS evidence undoubted twas
A famous victorie;
And there is proof to back my claim
That twas daisy football game
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-12-26

The MORNING NEWS is on file at the following
places, where Advertising Rates and other in
formation regarding the paper can be obtained:
NEW YORK CITY
J. H. BATES, IS Park Row.
G. P RovEIL & Co., 10 Spruce street.
w. W. SHARP & Co.. q Park Row.
FRANK KIERSAS & Co., 1872 Broadway.
DAucHy Co.. "a Park Place.
J. w THOMPSON, 80 Park Row.
JoEs f. PHILLIPS 6 Co. p Park Row.
AMERICAN NEWSPAPER PUBLISHERS ASSOCIATION,
104 Temple Court
PHILADELPHIA
n w AVER & Son, Times Building.
BOSTON
r. NILES, s5e Washington street.
PrTTExGIIA & Co., 10 State street.
CHICAGO
LoRp & THOMAS, IS Randolph street.
CINCINNATI
Epw1s AIDEx COMPANY, &c West Fourth street.
NEW HAVEN
TIE II. ?. HUBBARD COMPANY, Is Elm street.
ST. LOUIS
NELSON CHEsNAS & Co., 115 Pine street.
ATLANTA
MoRx1Se NEWS BUREAU, 3i1 Whitehall street.
MACON
DAILY TELEGRAPH OFFICE, 597 Mulberry street.
JACKSONVILLE
MoRsIsG NEws BUREAU Room Ely Block.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-12-26
. INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS

MEETrsGs-Magnolia Encampment No. /, 1. o.
O. f.; Golden Rule Lodge No. IL. L o. o. F.
SPECIAL NoTIcEs-Notice to Jurors City Court
Of Savannah; AS to Bills Against British Steam
ship Titanic; Notice to Water Takers
AMusExESrs-Miss Jane Coombs at the Sa-
vannah Theater
STEAMSHIP Baltimore Steamship
Company.
A GRAND SUccEss-The Famous New York
Clothing House Turkey.
CHEAP OoLUHS ADvKRTIsEHKSrs-HelpW Want
ID; Employment Wanted: For Rent; For Sale;
Lost; Rattle; Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-12-26
Reofaered at the Post Office IN Saronmah.

~~--~~-~~~-~~--~--~|~~~>D
The MORNING news Is puolisned every aay N
the veal and is served to subscribers IN the city
NJ q cents a week, 81 90 @ mouth, S. % for SIX
months and $40 90 for one year.
The MORNING NEWS os mai, one month.
one year, $40 90.
The MORNING NEWS, BY mad, six times q
week without Sunday issue). three months,
a. 00: six months, 81 90; one year, s. 90.
The MORNING Erws, Tri-Weekly. Mondays
Wednesdays and Fridays. or Tuesdays, Thurs
DAYS and Saturdays three months, 81 Is; SIX
months, g. 50; one year IS 90.
The SuxpAY NEWS by mail. one year, So 90
The WEEKLY NEws. By mail, one year, 81 ..
Subscriptions payable In advance. Remit by
postal order check or registered letter. Cur
rency sent BY rn3il at risk Of senders
Letters ana kilograms should Do addressed
sNoRxIss NEWS, Savannah, Ga
Advertising rates made known on application
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-12-26

The New York editors have been giving
their opinions Of what Gen. Harrison should
do with regard 30 civil service reform. The
opinions Of the democratic editors naturally
are less interesting than those Of the
republicans, and among the last
named those Of no other are more interest
ing than Mr.. Whitelaw Reds, as the
Tribune is one Of the two leading rspubli-
can organs Of the country. Mr. Reds
opinion is that Gen. Hsrris0n's civil service
policy. in order ~ be good. should be just
what Mr. Cleyeland's was not II will b.
understood from this that Mr. Reid believes
that ~ the yict0rs bsl0Dg the sp0lls
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-12-26
The Decollete Dress.

Eminent clergymen, artists and ply
sicians have given their opinions lately,
from moral artistic and physiological
standpoints, on the low-necked dress of
society women.
On moral grounds, DR.. Howard Crosby
was very severe in his disapproval of it, and
DIR. Heber Newton thought it was about
time to call a halt, or, what he thought
would be much better, to return to the
high-necked costume. DR.. Robert Collyer
could discover no particular harm that had
been done by the decollete dress, and was
inclined to view the matter with indiffer-
ence DIR. Talmage's views conceded with
those of DIR. Collyer. He thought the mat
ter was merely one Of taste that could be
safely left to the women.
The artists who expressed opinions were
decidedly and unanimously in favor of the
prevailing costume They said it was ar
tistically beautiful, but not perfect The
long sweep of the skirt worn generally with
the low cut bodice. they thought. was quite
graceful. and lent dignity to the appear
ance of women somewhat Insignificant in
stature, while it gave a queenly appear
ance to tall women. The objection they
found to the costume was that it compelled
women to absurdly compress their waists.
On this point the Russian painter, Verest-
chagin, who is now in this country, said:
French and American women are greater
sinners in this respect, l think, than the
women of any other nationality. Among
the commonest spectacles in Paris and New
York is that of a grenadier-like woman,
amply and generously proportional, appar-
emily emulating a woman half her size with
respect to the circumference of her waist.
Their backs are broad and their shoulders
almost massive, but they are narrowed in
to such an extent above their swelling hips
that the idea comes naturally into the mind
that it would be extremely easy to break
the fair grenadier In two"
Physicians who gave their opinions disa-
greed as to the effect Of the low neck dress
on the health. Several of them said it was
conducive to colds nd3pneumonia, and
was responsible for e large number of
deaths from consumption. Others, with
large practice among society women, said
they had yet to find case of pulmonary dis
rectly to the decollete dress. From common
sense view, however, it would seem that the
fashion would be injurious to health.
Even where precautions are taken, it is not
an easy matter for people to escape throat
and lung troubles, and for a woman to lay
aside the warm clothing worn at home,
array herself in costume that leaves her
arms and shoulders and5a portion of her
body bare, in all sorts of weather. would
not appear to be prudent, to say the
least. One physician said he numbered
among his patients good many actresses,
whose profession made it necessary thai
they should wear low-necked dresses very
often. They generally took every precau-
ton otherwise to protect themselves, but
more frequently than any other class of his
patients they were troubled with colds.
These opinions are interesting, but they
will hardly affect the fashion. Fashions
DEGREES are more potent than the opinions
Of clergymen. physicians or artists
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-12-26

The world contains a great many
hypocrites, the greatest OF whom are the
editors Of some OF the republican organs.
These editors are criticising Mr.. Bayard
very severely,for sending Admiral Luce to
Hayti after the steamship Haytien Repub-
lie. II he had not done SO he would have
been criticised equally as severely. The
people have learned TO place no confidence
In the criticisms of republican organs.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-12-26

The New York ministers have been giving
their views concerning the Sunday news
paper. They are opposed to it, almost to a
unit. And yet the Sunday newspaper in
New York seems to grow bigger every Sun
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-12-26
A Fatal Question.
From the Philadelphia RECORD

ITUUF 7 1EcLOTUs
st. Peter-So you were coal dealer on earth.
Did you join in any of the combines to raise
prices:
New Spirit (proudly)-No. St. Peter; never
did
st. Peter-were you careful to see that your
scales were correct?
New Spirit-Always
st. Peter-Did you give full weight?
New Spirit-Invariably.
st. Peter-When people asked for Lehigh
coal, did you always deliver Lehighs
New Spirit-Great anthracite II you are
going to be as particular as all that might as
well give it up. Where is the entrance to the
sulphur slopey
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-12-26

Another effort is being made to have con-
gress pay the widow of Gen. Hancock the
81 900 which the general, as chairman of
the military committee of the Yorktown
centennial, spent in entertaining the visit
ing soldiery. There is no reason why he
should have incurred the expense OF enter
tanning the governments guests, and the
money ought to have been refunded long
ago.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-12-26

Mr. Levi ID. Fuller, Of Illinois, is about As
years old, but he has buried six wives, and
has just married the seventh. II would
seem that be would have experienced some
difficulty ia winning No. 7, but no did not.
ne advertised for wife, aud received 100
answers. The woman whom he selected is
red-headed, and, II the color Of her hair is
any Indication Of her temper. Mr.. Fuller
probably will wish he had made different
selection, or had remained single.