Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1888-05-06
MARRIAGE.
HARRIET PRESCOTT sPorFoRp TELLS
WHEN GIRLS sE0ULD MARRY.
For Young Men Early Marriages May DO
Desirable. but Not for 6irls-rhs Age
Young Women Should Reach.
fror IN. plsp.tch--copyrightod. 1881


nafried state is that in which the great
est happiness is possible and it might |
be inferred, then, that one could not en-
ter it too early. But those who may re-
call the son Matthew in Pilgrims Pro-
oress. who made himself i'll by eating
green apples-green apples which might
have been wholesome and delicious had |
he waited until they were ripe-can re.
call an illustration quite contradictory OF
such inference.
Fortunate for him, as ii may seem TO
the mother of a SOD, il her boy shall
marry early, yet his instance is singu-
lar one, if, on reaching something less
than middle age, he has not dropped his
wife 90 far behind him as to leave him
self practically unmarried, having a
nurse. housekeeper, an humble friend,
possibly slave, but certainly no com
panion, no wife, in the wide sense OF the
word. His early marriage may nave
been, specifically considered, an adj
vantage to his morality, and so to his
health +: but when the mother has brought
up her boy, as it is her duty to do, to
understand that the same personal purity
is required OF him that is required OF
her girl, and that his passions are to be
under the same control that his sister
are. at whatever age, then the question
OF that morality will not enter into the
affair ut all
But however the mother OF a son may
look at the subject OF early marriages,
the mother OF daughter IS justified, 1t
seems 10 me, in q rather decided oppo-
sition TO them. II instead OF being
great and happy portion OF the school
OF life marriage constituted the whole OF
il. or life existed only for the sake OF
marriage, still those entering its portals
must be the better for suitable prepare
ton. l am unable to suppose that
at the age of eighteen or twenty
any preparation has been sufh-
Gent. The age is lovely IN it's ten
derness and enchanting with Its lllu-
sions: but wisdom wears a severer face,
and marriage deals with stern facts.
Some girls there may be, OF rare ability.
who are competent to take upon their
young shoulders the responsibility OF
house. its work, or the direction OF those
who do its work, the oversight OF hus.
hands wardrobe, the bearing and
nursing OF children, the physical atten-
tion 10 them in health and in sickness,
and the daily direction of their moral
and mental education, together with all
the other indoor and outdoor cares
incidental to the position OF one
who is the head of family, and
who has the happiness OF home
and a husband on her heart and con-
science. But these cases are few and
exceptional, and the great multitude OF
girls under twenty are not equal to such
| n strain upon nerve and muscle without
an arrest Of development. few years
later they may remember themselves at
that age as still children; they may feel
some reproach towards those who lald
upon them then burthen greater than
children should bear. Even were skill,
experience. discretion, wellestaollshed,
industrious habits formed, universal
belonging OF the maiden OF eighteen or
twenty years, | think it would be as
much cruelty to demand all this exer-
ton of her as it would be If she were SIX
or eight years younger. =,
Before twenty girl he's hardly had
the chance to receive the complete IN
struction from textbooks to which she
has a right, to say nothing OF the do
noestio education of the kitchen, the
needle, the sick-room she has had little
chance to learn anything OF the world oil
human nature she has lntuitions, not
experiences; she has lived more with
dreams and ideals than with realities
She NAV make a charming wife at first,
and q tender mother always, maternal
instinct and solicitude taking the
place of all the superiority that
added years might have given. But
sho must stop there, taxed to the utmost
she has no time, nor strength, and
perhaps-as inclination grows by use
no inclination to read, to study, to keep
pace with a husbands advance, or even
10 appreciate it. 1 will not say that
when. in few years, she has lost the APP
pearance OF youth, when she has no more
a fresh color and smooth face, when
pretty toilet no longer becomes her, that
the husband who continues to cherish
her will take credit to himself for
doing so but it is evident that che en-
counters the danger OF this feeling
on his part Nor do | think 1t an argu-
ment worth mentioning that the woman
early married is so moulded and bent to
her husbands will that clashing and IN
compatibility become impossible; be-
cause in marriage the rights and sacri-
fce, should be mutual, and l will not so
insult the husband as to suppose him
unreasonable enough for this moulding
to be necessary, or selfish enough to
yish thus TO suppress individuality, un-
able to find pleasure himself in renuncia-
ton, or negligent OF civilized, not to say
Christian duty.
Charming wife and tender mother as
she may be. however, it is not to be
doubted that when her education is
more thorough and her experience more
extended, she will be a nobler wife and a
! far better mother. She will have lost
some soitening trihe OF the arrogance OF
youth vanity, levity, love OF admiration
will have been so chastened as not to
play the part OF deaths heads at the
feast she will have learned selfsacrifce
and forbearance she will have acquired
tact and discretion and the sacred art oil
silence she will have become harmo-
NOUS: and she will know how to
order home as she did not know
how before. Her knowledge will have
opened avenues and outlooks OF which
her family will have the advantage hei
judgment will have ripened, her whole
nature deepened she will take life at
higher plane, and her husband and hel
children, her whole world and the gen
erations to come, will have gained by
the delay. II it were but for the sake Of
those generations to come, born Of
mothers full grown in mind as well as in
} body, the delay would be worth while
A young mother, with her children
about her, is often lovely sight bu'
as lovely sight in a different way, i
not so touching and appealing, is the
mother to whom few added years have
given an immense added leverage in the
, task OF bringing her children up ant
; lifting them TO higher level even thar
her own.