Fort Worth weekly gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1888-05-11

stl rent OF mine, when l had the honor to
Ter resent Kewaunee county in the Forty
seventh Congress. / know him we'll He
Is nice old gentleman, unfortunately a
great sufferer from rheu natism, as go
many farmers are in thst portion of my
state. which is not noted for the mildness
of its winters. Laughter His wife Is
an amisble ola lady, but also very
rheumatic. Renewed laughter can
see him refore me now. sitting oy the
blsz ne pine-knot fire and taking crest
comfort in his pipe, Mrs. G. knitting by
his side. He reads aloud the speech Of
my colleague. The further he proceeds
the more indignant he becomes over the
utter depravi,y Of thst party Of highway
robbers that even stole their name from
the Democrats. Great laughter He
is shocked Sat the many pernlcious acts
Of tariff legislation"
When he comes to the 102 per cent. on
castor oil his indignation knows no
bounds. His wife becomes almost hys-
terical, contemplating that she uses at
lasst hslf plot year in the family
daughter. Mrs. Goodman likes it bet.
Ter than EPSON salts, but she vows that
hereafter she will use the lsttsr, IS she
does not intend to pay the government
any longer 102 per cent. on castor oil
when she Can have EPSON salts at 80 per
cent. daughter.
By that time the son hiss come home.
He is q good-lookirg, intelligent fellow
of about TWEEN y.,ive years. He reads the
papers and keeps we'll posted on current
political matters. He is the youngest
SOD, the pride of his old parents, and
their only regret is that he will vote the
Republican ticket, while the old man is s
Democrat. Laughter and applause
He has read my friends speech the dsy
before, but there is no wool over his eyes,
though. Laughter. He figures out to
his parents that the 102 per cent. or that
half pint OF castor Oil they use per year
amounts to just cents. laughter on
the Republican side.
"But," his mother ssys, "think Of the
robbers charging me 8 81 cents on that
shawl bought four years ago."
"Well, MOTHER" he replies, 'if you
have really paid that much and I know
you have not, you must remember that
this tax is due in great measure to the
tsrih on wool, whereby we have received
much higher price for our crop. The
difference is altogether in our favor"
Applause "And then this money went
TO the government to pay its running ex-
penses. We would have had to pay 1t in
some other w.y. The government reeds
great deal Of money; ever $50. O00, 00C
alone per year for per sions. They pay
brother CHARLES wife SIP month and
brother Tom 1924 for his lost leg" APP
plause on the Republican side
"But," says the father, . little more
mellow by this time, "they collect more
money than they need; why don't they
lessen the tsxasf"
Young Goodman explains to him the
Republican programme. The abolition
Of the tobscco tax strikes the old mar
very fsvorebly.
"But," ssys he, "the tax on alcoho
used for manufacturing don't amount tc
much"
Gwen see about It," says the son. 90
have to buy tor both CT you pint O.
alcohol every three weeks to dissolve thai
gum Of camphor in, to rub your aching
limbs. That makes two gallons year
The tax per gallon is 81 so. So you see
that You have to pay the government
Sc 60 every year as a tax on your rheu,
ma,ism." Laughter.