The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1888-11-10
MISCELLANEOUS.


fnitely better than the ordinary cod.
English temperance societies de-
light in such bizarre names as The
Sons of the Phoenix, " The Brethren
of the Cockatrice" and The Royal
Antideluvian Order of Buffaloes.n
Sitting Bull says: "Soon we shall
not have enough ground to stretch our
tepees and rest our limbs. We shall
have to pay taxes and be poor and
ragged like the palefaces."
What is termed a startling de,
parture in the line of horse trading" is
reported from FAN River, where a citi-
zen who had a mare for sale ''stated
frankly that her disposition is so sour
that she hates herself, and that he
would recommend the creature to no
body unaccustomed to horses"
An Andalusian grandee was boast
ing to Prince Esterhazy, the great
Hungarian millionaire, that he had on
his various estates in Spain no less
than fifty thousand sheep. "Ah, in
deedn' said the Prince. "Well, that s
curious coincidence, for that happens
to be just the number of my shepherds"
-Harper'S Young People.
At recent parachute exhibition
in Quincy aereonaut Baldwin fell 1000
feet before the parachute opened. To
better appreciate the awful velocity of
such a heart-sinling drop it should be
noted that his hat, which was knocked
off as he cast loose, was left behind
500 feet, though passed him after the
parachute finally opened.
Translated from the French: Tell
me-" he said to the doctor, tell me
frankly, is there any hope?" Eyes,
sir; great deal. The statistics show
that one out Of every hundred affected
with your disease RECEIVERS 'Weu?"
"You are the hundredth l have treated
for the malady, and [ did not cure one
of the ninety-nine others. ST Louis
Magazine.
"A French chef prided himself on
having an llnack ofmaking an omelette
in which could be noticed, among
other savory things, a most delicate
flavor of onions. 1t was, however, such
a mere suspicion of flavor that his
master begged one day to be informed
how the dish was compounded. Said
the cook: 80, that is simple, monsieur;
after I've mixed the Omelette l eat %
small piece of onion and breathe into
the dish. -PHtsbargb Dispatch.
The late Rev. William Jay, of Bath,
and Andrew Fuller were driving
together, when bird flew across the
road and so frightened the horse that he
ran away. Having got home without in
jury they were talking over the matter:
Brother" said Mr.. Fuller, THAT was
very awkward, disagreeable bird; it
was like jar" NO" was the re-
ioinder, lit was fuller in the neck, t~l-
Ter in the body, and fuller all over"
The bird in reality, as they both knew,
was an owl.
He was a married man, and his
wife was the head of the household.
He had a friend who was in the same
case, only his friend was apparently
happy and comfortable. while he was
just the reverse He had long studied
this peculiar difference between them,
and finally he mustered up courage to
go to his friend and ask him: "What
is the way to be happy" he asked,
''when you are under a woman's
thumb?" Don't squirm. '-LeWjStop
journal.
Farmer Cat country schooD BE
you the toacher?" Yes, sir" $50 it
was you that thumped the tar outen my
boy Tom last night?' Il did punish
an unruly scholar" Punish! Wal.
should say so. You stamped on him
and sluggod him an ended by kicl1in'
him clear across the school yard. Is
that corrcct?" pretty near Let
me shake hands with you, | have to
admire man who can knock out my
son Tom, for I'll be hanged if Lean do
it. "-NebraSkG State JoatrWdJ.
"A woman with a patent button
fastener, has been doing the towns in
Eastern Washington, says the Seattle
Post Inteiligencer. Walking quickly
up to a staid old gent on the street she
will deXterously clip button from his
coat before he let's loose of the idea
that she is going to hug him, and when
he eXpostulates she produces her but
ton fastener and instantly replaces the
button, tight and solid. OF course he
buys a box of the fasteners, and the
lady seeks another victim to practice
her arts upon.
\ When you see q man carrying a
book bearing on the cover the title,
"Great Expectations" or "Our Mutual
Friend" don't rush to the conclusion
that he is going toread Dickens. Many
OF the dainty volumes so labelled are
hollow, except that they contain half
pint whisky flask. By touching a
spring the mouth of the flask springs
into view, all ready for nip" So
p0ysllar are these TASKS that Cham
bers street firm offers them for sale
under the name of Temperance Book
Flasks ~ Y. Tribune.