The Wilmingtonian., 1888-08-25

And throwin0 up the ,gindotU tUith bang.
you are, you little know CLASPS his hands, and
I'm doing so drops the basket. A lot of silver
ltumbles on the floor. Hastily recovering
thjmsel0 0-Confusion Listens attentively.)
fAfter all, no harm done. To continue, l
am desperately in love with Miss
Sutherland, and so, | am sorry to say,
is Barrett, also Jarrett likewise Gar
rett, guests with me at Mr.. Sutherlands.
Until now no one Of US could claim any de-
Icided advantage over the others. But day
before yesterday we all go out for a sylvan
stroll. Miss Sutherland insists on feeding
the swans, and while doing so falls into the
pond !, who would die for her anywhere
and on the slightest notice, don't see it. But
Barrett does and pulls her out. ] point out
the fact that the pond is only two feet deep
at that particular place, but Barrett, never
ltheless, becomes hero, and Jarrett, Garrett
and myself go into the background. Then,
yesterday we go on a picnic. Miss Sutherland,
while walking with Jarrett, is attacked by a
snake-boa constructor, according to Jarrett.
who dispatches it and thereby wins her un.
dying gratitude Garrett and myself 70 out
Ito look for the monster and find a harmless
little garter snake Neither of them will ac-
knowledge it, however, and Garrett and l
Ihave to apologize. This morning we try
little target shooting. Garrett goes blunder-
ling around and gets shot in the leg by Miss
Sutherland. I'd have shot him myself with
pleasure. Miss Sutherland is tenderly re-
Iproachful all day, and l am voted brute
for saying it served him right. can't stand
this any longer. Not to be hero argues
that cannot be one. therefore propose to
Imake my own opportunity. At great per-
,sonal discomfort have succeeded in keeping
awake until every one else is asleep 1 have
secured the basket Of family plate and am
now about to materialize burglar Gathers
up the silver and ties it up in tablecloth.) J
There. Now for my pistols. Cautiously
kleayes the room. The door Of the butleris
pantry opens and Mr.. Willie Vilter, profes-
lsional burglar, steps into the room.)
Mr.. Vilter (artistically netting the bundle)
--Wot willany this is. Oh! My eyes, Viii
liam, but 'eres richnessl Shoulders the
lswag and is about to depart. The door
"opens and Mr.. Vilter has just time to reach
lthepantry again when Mr.. Norris rushes in.
fires both pistols, and throwing up the win.
ldow with bang that takes all the glass out
tot it, begins an indiscriminate fusiliade.
The household in various stages of undress
rush in and contemplate the scene of car
lnage.)
Mr.. Sutherland texcitedly)--W has hap
Epened9 l insist stupon knowing.
Mr.. Norris (sententiously) Burglars! Miss
Sutherland screams and is simultaneously
supported by Barrett, Jarrett and Garrett)
Mr.. Norris-Fact, assure you. Heard a
noise down here and resolved to investigate.
Caught the fellow doing up the plate and
and went for him He broke away and
jumped through the window. Must apollo.
''gize for shooting in the house. Scared YOU
all awfully, I'm afraid. Shouldn't have
done it.
Mr.. Sutherland (ruefully contemplating
the fragments of a Sevres vase)-Well, per,
haps not.
) Mr.. Norris (cheerfully)-Anyhow the silver
is safe.
Miss Sutherland-Yes, but where is It'll
looks around fearfully)
Jsrrett Iarrss0 with great unanimity,-That's
Garrett SO. Show it up.
Mr.. Norris Slightly rattled)-oh, the
why-er-I put it there-that is to say, the
burglar. Breaks Off abruptly and begins to
polish his brow with handkerchief.)
Barrett
Jarrett Humphi
Garrett