davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Morning journal and courier., 1888-05-02
RETAIL.

Seedy party (after pouring out big drink)-How do you sell gin, mister?
 Bartender (gently returning some of the gin to the bottle)-At retail only, my friend. Epoch.
 Johnny-Mamma, is bigamy for man to have two or three wives at the same timea
 Mamma-Yes, my dear.
 Johnny-Then it is smallamy when he has only got onea-Washington Critic.
 It appears on further inquiry that Solomon had only seventy wives instead of one thou sand as stated in King James, edition. This correction counts 930 points of wisdom in Solomon's favor.-Philadelph Press.
 The annual report of the city marshal says: tIt has been our painful duty to lose by death two of our officers during the past year." The department ought to be relieved from such duty immediately. y.-Worcester Spy.
 A Kansas school ma'am has introduced a new feature in her school. When one of the girls misses 8 word the boy who spells it gets permission to kiss her. As 8 result the boys are improving rapidly.-Shoe and Leather Reporter.
 "Your husbanda I thought you told me, Mrs. Lakefront, you were divorced" "Oh, yes, that was from MT. Shortage, my other husband. He's here somewhere, and I want you to meet him. know you'll like him. .''- Detroit Free Press.
 Husband Gall ready for the theater--I de- clare, dear, it's raining hard.
 Wife (buttoning her gloves)-Well, what's little rain? One would think from your tone of voice that we were about starting for chureh.-Harper's Bazaar.
 ''Aut Blaine, aut Nullus," remarked Con gressman Foran to Congressman O'Neill of Missouri in little political talk yesterday.
 "Well," replied MT. O'Neill, q never heard of Nullus before, but Pm Id if think Blaine ought, after his letter of declin- ation. ."-New York Sun. Bobby and Flossie were playing s'board- ing house," with Flossie in the role of ap- plicant.
 "Have you parentsa" inquired Bobby, with great stiffness of manner.
 "Yes, sir, two" replied Flossie timidly.
 "Sorry, ma'am, but we never take chill dren who have parents.-New York Sun. One of the guests-"Mrs. Calumet, an happy to inform you that your divorce haE day, and you will receive your papers to- morrow" Mrs. Lakesider (to Mrs. Calumet after the gentleman has turned away)- "Where did you pick up that distinguished looking lawyer?" Mrs. Calumet-"Why that is MT. Calumet! Have you never me him beforea'
 Utility lady (hurrying in, breathless, fvt minutes after the call for the distribution O. parts for the new spectacular production)- 'sWhat do geta" Stage manager (prompt ly)-"You get 50 cents fine for bein' late, ,ani you're the Empress of India in the prologue and Queen of Night in the last act; and yol l don't want to show up in them dizzy o1t blue satin shoes again, for you've got to si on gold throne ten feet high and put you, foot on the neck of the King of Persia il the last act Now, you come here to-norrev at 10, letter-perfect, or you'll be back in thu second row, carryin' tin sword, first yor know. Pluck.
Morning journal and courier., 1888-05-02
OF SILK AND GOLD.
Bits of Jeyvelry That Initiate Pretty
 Objects In Nature.

Bits of Jeyvelry That Initiate Pretty
 Objects in Nature.
 The newest thing in jewelry is curious combination of textile fabrics with the pre- cious stones, says the New York Mail. A chry- santhemum pin has top made inIimitation of rns nUwer rrOm yellow HOSE BLK Something like hundred small yellow dia- monds stand out upon it, being mounted on invisible gold wires buried in the floss. A daisy pin presented to Miss Terry the after noon before she sailed on the Saale was con- structed in the same way. White silk formed the flower, and small white diamonds made il sparkle. The stem of the daisy, some two ol three inches long. was of green gold, copied from nature A bunch of hops is as success ful design as any yet tried in this way. Elm eralds are the jewels peeping from green silk The Cart" flowers introduced this winter are
 sometimes jewelled. An art rose to pin on
 tho corsage, or, after the lately revived fash ion, ,te put in the hair, initiates in it's texture the natural rose leaf. Even when you touch it you are supposed not tc discover that it did not grow in . garden. Even fer fastidious people the art flowers are meant to be satisfactory and econ omical substitutes, iu the ballroom, for the real thing. Diamond dewdrops destroy the H. fusion, however though they ara too pretty to frown upon.
Morning journal and courier., 1888-05-02
9he Best way to clean she Teeth.

"Thsre is not one of my patients out of ten,' said wsll-known dentist, fswho does not in quire anxiously as to what is the best method of cleaning and preserving the teeth. tell them all the same thing, and that is to use nothing but water. More good teeth are ruined by so-ealled dsntifrioes than by ell other causes put together, and the reason ia that these preparations contain strong alkalis, SO that with little rubbing the teeth will lock clean and white. But these take the enamel of, snd before long the teeth are utterly de- | streyed. There arc many dentifrices, however, | which are not so bad, and many reliable drug gists have preparations which are not go | harmful, but they dc rot produce the same
 rapid effect as that of which spoke first, con
 sequently many ignorant people do not con-
 slider them so good. But after all moderate
 | ly hard brush, plenty of cold water and noth-
 ing else will keep the teeth in excellent condi-
 \ ton. Sweetmeats are bad for the teeth; 50 is
 | smoking and the taking of very hot or very
 | cold drinks. But the worst thing of all is the
 | go-ealled dentifrice.
Morning journal and courier., 1888-05-02
REPUBLTCAN STATE CONVENTION

Republican State Convention is hereby called to meet at the Hyperion theser in the city of New Haven on the 18th day of May, 1888, at o'clock D. m for the purpose of electing four delegates and four alternates from the State of Connecticut to the National Republican Convention to be held at Chicago, June 19, 1888, to appoint State Central Committee and do any other business proper to come before said Convention. The Republican electors of each town. uniting with all other cleo tors who believe in the avowed principles of the Republican party, are requested to send to said Convention, such number of delegates as will be equal to twice the number of members they are entitled to have in the House of Representative in this State to such town. By the rules adopted at the last State Convention delegate to the Nation al Convention E1ember of the State Central before 10 o'clock m. of Wednesday, May 16. All primaries for naming delegates must be held at least five days before the meeting of the Conven- tion; at such primaries Town Committee must be chosen to hold their positions until others are chosenin 1890.
 Vacancies in any delegation can only be filled by an appointment In writing signed by the other delegate or delegates from such town, and only with a legal voter residing in the town where the vacancy occurs. ERAsTUs g. DAY, Chairman.
 R. JAY WALSH, Secretary.
Morning journal and courier., 1888-05-02

during the first and second years of life, and between the second and seventh years it doubles in size. Until after the iftieth birthday the heart still grows little. In childhood the male and female heart are the same size; but after manhood the masculine heart develops much more than the female. and ends by being two square inches larger than the latter.
Morning journal and courier., 1888-05-02

lem sing 'Hallelooyer! 'tis done' Pa allus liked that and think it'd kind O tickle him to have it sung over his cold clay"
 The hymn was therefore sung over pas "cold clay" Let us hope he was where he could be sttiekled" by hearing it.
Morning journal and courier., 1888-05-02
A NOVELTY.
EPPS'S COCOA.
BREAKFAST.

By thorough knowledge of the natural laws which govern the operations of digestion and nutr tfes of weIcselected Cocoa, Mir. Epps has provided our breakfast tables with delicateiy havored pSv- T E by the judcious of such articles of diet that a constitution may be gradually buitup untiistrong enonoh to resist every tendency to disease. Hun Sneds of subtlemaladies floating aroundCs ready eo attack wherever there Is weak point. We may Sortified with pure blood and a properly nourfshed erame '-Cfvil Service Gazette. ouly in half pound tins by Grocers. labeled thus:
 JAMES EPPS q O., Homeopathic Chem1sts
 anf0 tuGv5t London. EnGian6.
Morning journal and courier., 1888-05-02
EDITORIAL NOTES.

A Chicago man has asked the courts for a divorce from his wife because she rushed upon him with scissors and cut off his whis- kara
Morning journal and courier., 1888-05-02
Second District Republican Conven-

Second District Republican Conven-
 ton.
 The Republicans of the Second con gressionaI dis trict of Connecticut hereby notified to appoint delegates to district convention to be held at the Hyperion Theater, New Haven, on Wednesday, May 18th, at 12 o'clock, nooH after the adjournment of the State convention. The business of the conven, tion will be to elect two delegates and two alter mates to the Republican National convention at Chicago, June 18th. Each town is entitled to the same number of delegates as to the State conven tion, and they may be the men if the towns electing them so desire and direct.
 BARTLETT BENT, r....
 O. A. BALDWIN, r,!t D.sII!GC
 R SOAaAllttce.
Morning journal and courier., 1888-05-02

It is reported that the Chicago anarchists are being s'torn by dissensions" This is better than to have them tearing respectable pe0Dla
Morning journal and courier., 1888-05-02
25 CENTS WILL BUY

Ladies' Gossamer Vests, short sleeves, extra quality, pearl buttons, silk binding, all sizes, for 25c each. Schopper's celebrated Ladies' fast Black Hose, both plain and ribbed, in all sizes, at 25c each. Handsome 6x3 black ribs, all sizes, from to 10 inch; great stock ings for boys and girls at 25c. Ladies' full regular made mode and slate, also fancy Hose at 25c a pair
Morning journal and courier., 1888-05-02
Howe & StetsOl SPRING WEATHER
 AT LAST! Now for Spring and Summer UNDERWEAR.

We are going to furnish all who will let us do sh with Under Vests. Pants and Hosiery in the best values we can find at the lowest popular prices. Please read following speci- men bargains
Morning journal and courier., 1888-05-02
PosC-MOKTEK1 EUI
Sozae odd Addresses NEade by Well. Meaning, but Ignorant Ministers.
 From Good Chcar.]
Laughing at funerals is such gross viola ton of the rules of good breeding and com

Laughing at funerals is such gross viola ton of the rules of good breeding and com mon decency that the provocation must be great if one can be excused at all for such scandalous conduct. The writer owns up to several irreprsssible smiles and one or two wicked giggles while attending several fune- rals in certain rural districts. He offers the facts in each case in justification of his con- duct.
 An aged farmer had died from the effects of kick from a mule. The clergyman off eiating at the funeral was an antiquated spec linen of simplicity and ignorance. His first words were:
 s'In assembling around this cold corpse, and in refeeting on the means by which it became corpse, we air reminded of the on- certainty of life and of the unexpected dis | asters by which cawpses air 50 often created. | Skeerce twenty-four hours ago our deaf brother was in full possession of his health ! and facilities. Little did he think of his | approaching end at the hands of newel hitherto considered harmless and docile. But, ahi my dear friends,n and here he be- gan to weep, "even so ornery and tri1in' 6 critter as mewel may be the means of con- verting us from the rosy bamness of health | to the WnIt0 paIeneSS or 0 CaWpS6. Ou have all seen both the cawpse and the mewel in this case; may the lesson they have taught never be forgotten. May it make an impress sion that will cause you to feel serious con cern for your own latter end whenever you gaze on even newell
 At another funeral in a little western church the officiating clergyman said at the 1 close of his discourse:
 in accordance with the desire of the fam. fly of the dead deseased, the coffin will nov be opened that his friends may enjoy the fe licity of gazing on him for the last time, and the entire assembly proceeded to fenjo, the felicity" of the occasion
 A minister once called at the home o death to make arrangements for the funsra of the husband and father, who had die, suddenly. While talking with the widow h asked:
 Is there any particular hymn you woul like to have sung at the funerali" | "Yes," she said, wiping her eyes, sthay
Morning journal and courier., 1888-05-02
When snake Eats Snake.


 A letter just received from Mir. Pringle, of Louisiana, the well-known American snipe shot, whose wonderful bags ware reported some time since in your paper, contains the following extract. which may prove interest ing to some of your readers: 1T was walking across very boggy marsh, where there was 8 goe1 deal of water, and was stumbling along, not with my former youthful agility, when came near stepping on a snake in coil, what is called 'cotton-mouthed moccasin,' ) whose bite is not fatal, but somewhat poison ous. There being no stick at hand to kill him, I stepped back and shot him, cutting hina not quite but nearly in two, and exposing his in- nards,' as the negroes say. Ny man Cesar exclaimed, 'Massa, he got another snake in himi' and so he had one nearly as long as himself. I pulled the swallowed snake out and held him by the tail alongside the other. The swallower was about thirty inches long and very thick. and the swallowed one and a half inches shorter, only that the lsttsr's head and neck were doubled so as to be forced into the other. Did you ever know of one snake eating anothsri They say that dog will not eat dog, but it seems that 8 snake will perform that operation on another snake:"
Morning journal and courier., 1888-05-02
DIedira1.
nLAIRYQYAnT,.

THE true test of merit is the power to satisfy all able degres by the gifted business test and healing medium, Mrs. J. J. CLARK. R sss Grown street. All remedies to purify and enrich the blood are worth their weight in gold. Hours day and evening. Sit tings Sl ExaDainations by lock Of hair S2. Mag efGof fraaf ap9
Morning journal and courier., 1888-05-02
OUR THREE GREAT OFFERS
 THIS WEEK.

 OUR THREE GREAT OFFERS
 THIS WEEK. FIRST:
 We offer you this entire line of 800 pairs Mems all wool Pants, twenty different styles, and all sizes, for $2 50 and s3.
 And lucky is the fellow that gets crack at them.
 SECOND:
 We shall continue our Great Mark Down Sale of Spring Overeoats. And they Ire impatient to be seen- S1O Spring Overcoats marked down to 3 700 S12 Spring Orercoats marked down to 1000 S15 Spring Overcoats marked down to 1900 SIS Spring Overcoats marked down to 15.O0 S20 Spring Overcoats marked down to 1850 S22 Spring Overeoats marked down to 1900 SPA Spring Overcoats marked down to 20.OO Elegant. Elegant Garments.
 Quality, Style and Price will please you. We are making quick turn on Mems, Youths and Boys Suits. Hundreds and hundreds of Business Suits from $S to $6 less in price.
 $6 buys an $S. 50 suit.
 $S buys $10 suit.
 S1O buys $12 suit.
 $12 buys $15 suit.
 $15 buys SIS suit.
 SIS buys $20 suit.
 SEQ buys $24 suit.
 S22 buys $25 suit.
 We're price making to you and giving work to more people at home. THIRD
 Boys and Children's Suits.
 Another invoi,e of those $1.75 Suits. More of the $2 Suits; plenty at $3, $4, $5 and S6 Our Children's department teeming with customers Saturday We regret our in ability to serve all our customers on Satur- day. We hardly anticipated such rush, but we will provide for such emergencies in future. There will be Bargains, Bargains everywhere on our counters for the next three weeks.
 Boston Clothing Company, Wholesale and Retail Dealers in Fine Ready Made Clothing. New Haven branch: S5S Chapel Street, my1 d&w G. W. TOWLE, Manager.
Morning journal and courier., 1888-05-02
sNEEZINe cATARRH :!

The distressing sneeze. sneeze the acrid, watery discharge from the eyes and nose, the painful in fammation extending to the throat, the swelling of the mucous lining. causing choking sensations, cough, ringing noises in the heed and splitting headaches-how familiar these symptoms to thousands who suffer periodically from head colds or influenza and who live in ignorance of the fact that single application of Sanford's Radical Cure for Catarrh will afford instantaneous relief.
 But this treatment in cases of simple catarrh gives but faint idea of what this remedy will do in the chronic forms, where the breathing is ob- structed by choking, putrid mucous accumulations, throat ulcerated and hacking cough gradually fas- tening itself upon the debilitated system. Then 1t is that the marvellous curative power of Sanford g Radical Cure manifests itself in instantaneous and grateful relief Cure begins from the first appltea- safe.
 Sanford's Radical Cure consists of one bottle of the Radical Cure, one box of Catarrhal Solvent and an Improved Inhaler. Price S1.
 POTTER DRua & CHEMICAL O., BOSTON.
Morning journal and courier., 1888-05-02

Carl Schurz' reception in Berlin forcibly shows how times change. Once if Mr. Sehurz had visited Berlin his reception would have been in a prison.
Morning journal and courier., 1888-05-02
gne gnmrma1 and Gn11rier

The Oldest Daily Paper Pulp
 lfshed fin Connecticut.
Morning journal and courier., 1888-05-02

The New York policeman who committed burglary, and in twenty four hours or less found himself in Sing Sing with ten years, sentence, got no more than he deserved. The speediness of his punishment is as en- couraeiuo as the justice of it.
Morning journal and courier., 1888-05-02
50 CENTS WILL BUY

Ladies' Silk Plaited Black Hose. We invite attention to our Ladies' Victoria fast black Hose. Ladies' Electric Dye Fast black Hose every pair warranted
 Misses' fast black Hose, every pair war ranted, at prices ranging from 25 to 50c.
Morning journal and courier., 1888-05-02
39 CENTS WILL BUY

Our Ladies' superior quality of Gauge Vests, both short and long sleeves, also Pants in all sizes. This quality usually retails at 5Oc.
Morning journal and courier., 1888-05-02

In a libel suit brought against the Balti- more Sun it was decided that the headline of a newspaper article. being intended to give the purport of the news of the article and not intended to be an independent assertion of the paper, is not hbelous if it be a fair comment upon the body of the article and made with no improper motive.
Morning journal and courier., 1888-05-02
Wednesday. RIay 9, lsss.

THE oARRINaToN PUBLISHING CO
Morning journal and courier., 1888-05-02
39 CENTS WILL BUY

Gents' summer weight Clouded Shirts and Drawers; we have only one box (30 dozen) of these goods; they are sold for 50 cts. every- where.
Morning journal and courier., 1888-05-02
25 CENTS WILL BUY

Gents four thread Fancy Lisle Half Hose; this is lot of 50 dozen Hose that cost from $50 to $4.5O per dozen to import and have never been retailed under 38 and 50 cents.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1888-08-24
Sam Slick s Description of Ry,ea
ton.

What flirts all you men arer' sal,
she. But oh. my sakes amt tbo
tree lovely?-just one mass of flowers
II old me up, please. Mr.. Slick, till
get branch of that apple tree. On.
dear! how sweet it smells"
Well. took her in my arms and lift.
ed her up, but she was lone time
a-choosin' of wreath. and that one
she put round my hat, and then she
gathered some sprigs for nosegay.
Don't hold me so high. please
Ihere. smell that-ain't il beautifu,o
kles." an
Lucy. how my heart beatsr' saws /
anu 1t dh. too; it Numbered Ike a
siedge hammer actlly thought il
would have torn my waistcoat b1ttons
OIL. Don't you hear it 90 hmm
bump. bump. LucyP wonder II /,
ever busts like biler?--for holdin'
such a gal as you be, Lucy. in ones
arms amt safe; it is as much as
ones" 90
Don't be silly" said she. larfn'
"or I'll get down this mint. Mo-
said she, II don't hear it beat RI
ALL"
There" said |. brngin' her a lit
tie further forward don't you hear it
mo. said she, 'its nothin but your
watch tickin. and she larfed like
anythn'; Il thought so. "
You havn't no heart at all, have
your" said /.
1T never has been tried vet" sa.
She. II hardly know whether / have
Or not ''
"Oh! then on don't know whether
t Is in the right place or not"
les. 1t is. said she. q pulin' of nv
Thiskers; yes, it is, just in the RIGHT
olace-just where it ought to be-" and
'he put my hand on it, Where else
would YOU have it. dear. but where is
II But hush! sa Il she; 81 saw
tunice Snare just now; she is a.comin'
'ound the turn there. Set me down
quick, please. Amt it PROVOKING that
gal fairly haunts me. hope she didn't
ee me in your arms
II II lift her up to the tree too"
avs !. ''if YOU like, and then"
"Oh. no. said she; lit amt worth
While. | don't care what she saws or
hlnSs one snap Of my finger. San, {
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1888-08-24
Cannot Stand Free Trade.
san Francisco Bulletin.


Barclay Henley. Democratic Repre-
sentative from the first district of Cali
iornla in two Congresses, has written
letter 10 Representative Morrow. il
which he says: Il cannot ally myself
with party whose guiding star. no mat
ter how far off, is free trade | believe
in protecting American labor, and the
product OF American labor. As con.
sequence. must join the party of pro.
lection. will DO what can to aid that
party in carrying the State for Harrison
and Morton. Mr. Henley is the pre-.
cursor of thousands on the same line. In
the Forty eighth and Forty ninth Con.
crosses he showed strong signs that he
was not willing TO give up the best inter.
ests OF his State at the bidding Of his
party. He has now taken the formal
step of Joining the party Of protection. "a
every man OF independent judgment.
who Is unwilling that a grand sell out -
foreign Interests should be effected. is
quite sure to do Inquiries, steadily push.
ed, since the issue Of protection or free
trade has been distinctly made. establish
the fact that there are great many more
Democrats who are precisely Of the same
way Of thinking rs Mr. Henley. He will
md himself in large, numerous and
highly intelligent company The at
tempts Of the Democrats TO cover UP their
real purpose are too thin to deceive any.
body. There is an apparent determine.
ton 10 lie the scheme clear through. but
II is very faint 1t is in the nature of
the very thinnest of skim milk. One of
the latest and most ieiune efforts is 60
attack our four members Of Congress for
voting for the protection Of iron in the
interest of Pennsylvania, as If we could
have matters SO arranged that all Cali
fornia products should be fostered and
hose OF all other States uncovered. Mr..
Henley, by the course he has pursued.
shows that he has keen regard. not
)nlp for the State in which he resides,
lut for the general section Of the Repub.
lc to which il industrialy belongs In
line 1t will he found that even in the /
south the doctrine which il upheld by /
tr. Cleveland will not Toe popular. In |
he last Congress six Representatives
rom the South voted for protection. On
he Mills bill sixteen Representatives
rom the same section recorded their
otes in the negative