Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1888-04-06

great hauteur a single glass in the
l corner of his eye, Such was the &C.
/ counts they modestly gave of them
selves, al all events, and Hiram i'm
plicitly believed them, though the cap
tain's bearing was anything but militia
~, the barrister wore horse shoe pin
and crimson striped shirt, and his
lordshiD had q habit Of continually
, dropping his his AS THIS illustrious
quartette walked up the pier and hail
: ed cab. none Of them noticed the
quiet, genteel little man in dark
brown suit and slouch hat who
scrutinized them closely as they pass
ed, aad got into a cab az the same
they did. Nor did they see him at
the Lime street station that evening,
though be was there all the same,
and occupied seat in the same car
riage and busted himself by making
ijottings in little memorandum book
Hiram Porker's first view of Lon
don was st night, and to his unsoph-
isticated eyes II WAS q second edition
of New York or Chicago, only the
buildings were more subdued and
less fancful, and the streets were not
lit up SO brightly. But the familiar
roar aud hustle and turmoil was
there; crowds surged restlessly up
and down; the streets were jammed
with vehicles and lines of tram cars,
and Hiram began to realize that Lon
don was bigger place than either
New York or Chicago, and as for the
English people, he began to regard
them as superior to Americans al
ready, for the captain. the barrister
and the lord had decided out of pure
disinterested friendship to absent
themselves from their respective
posts of duty long enough to initiate
Hiram into the sights aud mysteries
of London.
| At the suggestion of Lord Valen-
tine. as he styled himself. they went
TO the Hotel BerLolini, in Leicester
Square, which he assured Hiram was
much frequented by the nobility.
Shortly after they had registered and
had been assigned to apartments,
little man in a brown suit stepped up
to the desk, ran his eye quickly over
the freshly-iGscribed signatures, and
then turned away and walked out of
the door.
"Ah!" be softly remarked to him
self, as he lit cigar, and strolled to-
ward the blazing Alhambra, "he's
game for sharpers tonight; tomorrow
hell be game for the police"
That was mem orable night to
Hiram Porker. The innermost Sc
crets of the fast side of London life
were laid open before him with un-
blushing candor. He was introduced
freely to English ales, English cham
pagne, and English gin, and under the
undue exhilaration produced by this
unfraternal mixture he so far forgot
himself as TO loan hundred pounds
apiece to his three new friends and
finally sat down, or rather laid down,
to game of American poker with
| them at O'Clock in the morning.
The Inevitable awakening came at
noon the next day, when he came to
his senses, and, having made hasty
inventory, found himself short just
nine hundred pounds, while his friends
had been called away on sudden bus
mess. and in their haste accidentally
omitted to pay their board bill, which
sundry quarts Of champagne had
sweled to quite figure.
Stupid and dull. headed as he was
Hiram began to see that he had fallen
into trap, and in the first attacks of
rage and anger that came over him he
stamped savagely around the hotel,
chewing one cigar after another TO
fragments between his teeth, and NUT
tering audible remarks that were
anything but flattering to the Eng
lish people Fortunately the per-
sons who were near him were mostly
French, and would not haye resented
it if thev had understood him. In
fact Bertolini's is frequented almost
entirely by Frenchmen, and it was
no doubt in full view of this fact that
Hiran's friends had brought him
here
The next morning Hiram had cool
ed off, and stepped into the breakfast
room with his usual swaggering air
of self Importance. In regard to his
loss, he had determined to keep ST.
lence, not wishing his American
friends to know how easily he had
fallen victim. After smoking a
good cigar, and strolling once around
tie square, he concluded that he had
better deliver the packages entrusted
| to his care. He reflected with
serene satisfaction that no doubt this
| lord would insist on his stopping
with him while in London, and thus
he would be brought among people
who would appreciate his worth. He
went back to the hotel, and after
brushing off his clothes carefully, and
parting his red beard in the middle,
with the air of mustach wax. as he
had seen the "Barrister" wear his he
grasped the vaIise and hurried out
into the street. With vague in
stinct he turned down Coventry
steet, and hurried along through the
/ CrOWU until uc TedCueu L lCCduIly
Circus, and became hopelessly en-
tangled in the seething mass of peo-
pie and vehicles that came together
here at right angles from Regent
street and Piccadilly. He foundered
along for few yards and then made
desperate dash for cab that was
standing near the curb little in front
of him. He showed people to right
and left in his reckless haste, and
only stopped when he ran into blue
coated, helmeted policeman. He
made breathless explanation, and
then reached the sidewalk and hailed
the cab. The driver had the door
open, and he was just stepping in
when little man in brown suit
touched hlm on the shoulder.
"Mr Porker, believe" he said.
eyes, that's my name," said
Hiram, "but DON'T"
"It's all right" interrupted the
man; 81 have little business with
you" He gently pushed Hiram
into the cab. A man 10 light over
coat and high hat followed him, and