The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1888-11-21
HUMOR OF THE DAY.


A paper that shows grt-Sand-paper.
A morning rapper-The man who's
been down to the club.
A delicate parcel-A young lady
wrapped up in herself. -.
The only dairy which does not use
water to excess is the dromedary.
1t is not altogether strange that bee
trothal should lead to honeymoon.
Nothing tires q smart man so quickly
as seeing a lazy man resting himself.
A sleeping policeman is one of the
silent watches of the night. Rochester
Tidings.
An intelligent little girl, whose father
asked her to write him love-letter, I'M
mediately wrote l..
Keep an eye on the children. Kid
nappers sometimes go abroad to take the
heir.-Detroit Free Press.
Financial straits won't send man to
Canada nearly as quick as financial
crookeds. 49, Rochester Iidings.
There is said to be scarcity of 500
bills, but we must confess that we had
not noticed it.-Loreh Citizen.
When we go to war with Canada it
will be appropriate to lombard Montreal
with fishDalls. .-NeU York Sun.
IT'S the hatchet in the hand Of the un-
methodical youngster that causes the
''hew and cry."-B Binghampon Ledder.
The bill collector probably doesn't like
his business any better than the man who
has to pay him, but it has to be dun
Bdgar.
Vision of charms passes on the arm of
a theatrical manager. "Who is She"
"Oh, an ex.actress." "What does she
exactn n- Truth.
A fat man is more likely to fume and
fret with impatience than lean one.
He thinks it is likely to reduce his wait.
-BiRJ Jhanlt0p Repu5itcaa.
No, said the actor as he trod YEARLY
over the railroad tics. 81 am not look
ing for Jay Gould, but I've been on his
track all day, "-Neao York Sun.
There are some things in this world
that we never forget-and the tax col
lector helps equalize things by never
forgetting us.-NeO York Ne'os.
General Blood we're sad to note,
Eats with his knife, according to fame.
But since he swallows his food with his throat
-Neio York. San.
Smith, heard two splendid jokes
Yesterday" "Let's hear them" zone
of them won't do to repeat, and I've for
got what the other was. "-Fie9eade
BlGetter.
Old maids find themselves treated by
the world very much like ordinary sec
ond-hand books. They are not old
enough to be rare, and not new enough
to be dear.
The facetious father of pair of twin
babies complained that although they
filed the house with music he could not
tell one heir from another-BinqhamtOa
Republican.
Young Doctor-"They don't bleed
people as they used to do twenty or
thirty years ago, do they professorl"
Professor-'No, not with the lancet. -
.Ne50 York Tribune.
"Trusts" writes a sagacious corre-
spondent, 'are good things in their way" F"
No doubt they are, but the trouble is
that they are often in other peoples way.
-Ne5O York Dispatch.
A Scotch beadle took his sweethca I
to a graveyard, and showing her dTk
corner, said: "Mary, my folks lie there.
Would you like to lie there when you
die!' 1t was a grim way of proposing,
but Mary was a sensible Scotch lassi
and acce. ted him.
Very Stout old Lady (watching the
, lions fed)-"Pcars to me, Mister, that
amt very big piece o. meat fer sech an
I animal Attendant with the greatest
and most stupendous show of politeness
, on earth)-'l s'pose it does seem like a
a small piece of meat to you, ma'am, but
it's big enough tor the lion. Life.
Some say that married life may DO
, Whate'er we choose to make il;
I While some. prelerring TO be free,
Don't hesitate te shake it,
II II 20 some failure be,
Z OF course they must abide it E
. 1t has no failure been TO me,
7 FOr-l have never tried IT,
-NelV York World.
s Father readingl-And.a as Shakespeare
l so beautifully expresses it, use strength
ems habit. 80 Daughter-"l don't think
g that altogether right, papa" Father
Q "Why not, my dear how is it wrongf
e Daughter-"W Why goodness knows, my
p. riding habit has had use enough, and
o instead of being strengthened by it, it is
/ nearly worn out. Fun.
, There is no doubt that the sorrowlul
season is on us when we cannot get
, sporting extras telling how "Mickey got
his base on balls, went to second on
G SINNERS tumble of lhlly's hot one and
took third on Stubbin's wild throw-in
Of Munich's fly to left, only to die at tho
4 plate on a splendid double play of