The Grenada gazette., 1888-01-07
FULL OF FUN.

getting ahead when he is gstting a
heart.
II saw pretty thing in kid
gloves last evening"" observed Fitz.
| percy to his sister. "What was itp'
MY best girls hand"
Here is corker: What is the
difference between twelve rpenny.
weights and the bulletin board? "One
is an ounce and the other announces. !"
-Bnrdette.
"A pithy definition of a lover is the
following: "A lover is man who
endeavors to be more amiable than il
is possible for man TO be. and this i.
the reason why almost all lovers ap.
pear ridiculous"
Scene. Madison Square, First
Actor-"Don't detain me. old boy,
I'm just in from Pittsburgh, and I'm
in great hurry" Second Actor
"Where are you going?" First Actor
I'm going to see chiropodist."-
zsras Sittings.
Mrs. Yeast, who has recently mar.
ried for the second time-'.My. my. l
am so fond of life and gayety!" M.
Yeast-"Well, DEAR am not more
lively than your first husbandp" "More
lively! l should say so. Why, man.
my first husband is dead!" = Yonkers
Statesman.
-Eliiah-"Say. Z,ke, l hcah yo'
brudder married a rich heircss; am
dat SOP" Zake-"Yes. she's wuth
bout fl Million" Elijah (surprised)
so much as dat?" Zeke-' ats fl
million or fl hundred. l dunno wich,
but l know it's 'normous mount -
Cincinnati Enquirer
-Gentlemanly Burglar Tin hotel
corridor)-"Did you lose a pair of
breeches out of your room last nightP"
Hotel Guest--"Ycs. and I've just sent
out to get another pair" Burglar
That's good; but wish you'd tell me
who made these for you. l wan tel
take 'em down an get 'em len gthcned.
Puck
"A Fine Mind. -"There is n good
deal in the remark: Stone walls do
not prison make. nor iron bars a
cage, said Dumlcy; "a good deal in
it. It's chock-full of wisdom"
"Whcre did you hear it?'' he was
asked. Il heard Featherly say it.
That Fea'herly is bright young fcl.
low!'-Puch.
"A miser. troubled with heart
disease, finally decided to call a
physician After the preliminary
examination the patient asked:. Doc
tor. how much is it going to cosp'
"Not sou." "Thanks; but you're
too kind. l ought not to- 70.
don't trouble yourself! Your heirs
will see that am paid. "-Judae.
-"How many birthdays do you
think have haAP' one person was
heard to say to another in the horse.
car. "O.l, about forty-seven," hazard
ed the person addressed. 'Only one
birthday. The rest have been anni-
versaries," was the explanation, and
the car suddenly stopped.
Poor Farmer Blaque,-
The granger who took in cheque
On bank that had all gone wreque
Was so whelmed with ehagrin
That his barn he went in
And hung himself up by his neque.
-Xonters Gazette.
"A big newsboy was insulting a
small bootblack in the alley back OF
the post-otlice yesterday, when let.
ter-carrier said to the little chap: u
wouldn't stand it If were you" II
am obliged to )" answered the boy. as
he trotted along with the carrier. "rm
out of condition this summer, my |,
trainer is out West. and the police !
won't let us go beyond ten rounds
anyhow. Wait till I catch him in !
Chicago. Detroit Free Press,
"A choristcr in Il village church in
Scotland, wishing for a musical pitch
fork with which to pitch the tunes.
asked aneighbor who ran an express
to tho nearest city, to get one for him.
The honest expressman. who never
heard Of any other kind of pitchfork
but that used in farm work. pur.
chased one ut least ten feet long. 1t
was on Saturday evening before he
came home, and. as a message had
been left TO bring it up when he came
to church the next day. he marched
into tho churchyard before the bell
rang, where the master of
song was standing among group Of
villagers, and said: "Aweel, John,
here's the pitchfork you wanted; but
| can tell vou ne'cr thought muckle
o your singing before, and I'm sair
mistaken gin you'll sing ony better
no,v IN v Joy1pxr