Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1888-04-07
: WAXEM'S PHILOSOPHY
HE WRITES OF THE CONGRESS OF
NOTED WOMEN.
There IL Some Real Work Doing In Con-
gress nut II IL Not 1mportant-A Navy
Wanted for the Bydrographers--sop'e
thing About Shin PIasters.
Especial Correspondence. !

Especial Correspondence
WASHINGTON, April 5.-In matters OF
legislatin, cant say we nint doin nothin
in congress, fer we mir. We air bizzy
evvcry day doin somethin, but somehow
when we git the results Of our werk piled
up It seems TO git the shrinks, and thar
aint hardly anything left. II reminds me
good deel OF pilin crib chock full OF
green corn In the fall, and expectin to find
1t full after winters dryin.
Thar has been site Of small bills inter
duccd and passed and referd TO comittys
md one thing cr other like us statesmen
hav q way OF doin to perfect the peoples
intrusts. Some is important and some
aint wuth shucks, but ono that seeks TO
eqalize the salleres Of postmasters efIecks
my intrusts and the intrusts Of EVERY
rite minded legislator. Postmasters is ono
Of the main links that connecks n states
man TO success. Postmasters Is on speekin
terms with EVERY man and woman in his
naberhood, and ef he don't go TO see them
they come TO see him, and every time
they see him they see the home reppere-
sentitiv Of thcr national repperesentitiv.
Ef he is polite as basket Of chips and Is
smlin all the time It makes them feel
good and ef he aint, then they don't. Ef
nc aint gittn n fair reccompense fer his
laber, then he can't be polite and afTerbel,
md he gifts unpopular, and so does the
man that got him the place. There
foro us statesmen IS bound TO see
TO IL that our homo representative
gifts all thar is in IL. The highest pay any
postmaster gifts in my decstrick Is 5000
per annlum, and thar is some that don't
git moren $50. In some other deestricks,
that has got big cities with them, sallar-
les run up as high rs 81 900 per annium.
Now I'm In faver OF equaliZln there saNer-
les, and givin more money to the little one
| and less to the big one. Thar is q good
| many more gittin two er three hunderd
dollars yer thnn thar is gittin $4,000,
| and they CONTROL or good many more
| votes and votes is tho ultimatum that we
| air all scekin.
Another little, bill has been interduced
for putin IN cxtry photographer in the
navy. Newer havin been u close stud
| dyer Of naval nfares, i can't jist say
| what photographer is, but from all /
| can hear it strikes mo that instid of git
tin IN extry photographer fer the navy,
| we had better be gittin navy fer the hy-
| drographers that we have allreddy got.
| We may git In a war with Spane fer her
insult in havin Cristopcr Columbus sell
Iteration, and Bhettin ont tho britest
jewell that he found in the new world,
and ef we do she's got ships enough to
| come over here and clean Off our coasts
ten miles back into tho country before we
can git up steam. And, Mr.. Edditer,
Sp0ne Is q ration that has had the dry rot
fer 100 yersl Wouldcn't lickn by
setch q country rs that bo glorious rec
cord fer us to hand down to our posterityf
We have been tryn to restore the old
| time "shin plastersn to the curensy OF the
country, and / think we air goin to sue
ccde. / have long petition from my
dcestrick askin fer 1t, and thar was good
many others. My people hes to send
away TO git good many things they see
advertised in the newspapers, and they
hated to pay frato rates on sendin silver
money, with n chance all the time that It
wuld git lost or stole by people feelin it
thrugh the envellop and cabbidgin it. In
my own case, hav often wanted to send
Mandy half q dollar when she rote to me
fer money, but mover could, and u dollel
was the only convenient amount ! could
inclose. You will see, Mr. Edditcr, that
dublin the sum on man that way soon
gets to DO a hardship and thar ought 10
| be some perfection Afforded him. With
shin plasters plenty ] can cut down my
home expenses OF that mater about one
half. Newspaper subscribers, too, can git
ther money TO the edditcr in better shape,
and his drawer won't be continuerly filled
| WIN lHuJ nc mas Ebl W
sell Mt discount cr waste in ritn letters
| jist TO save the discount. Retalc deelers
all over the country will be benefited and
lots Of small bills will DO pade, because
| the detters will send n shin plaster fer the
novelty Of the thing.
| Thar was two congresses In session in
| Washington last week, the regular one
that everybody knows about aud another
one OF women. OF course ourn had to
| play second fiddle to the ladies', and we
done It with our usual galantry. Polite
ness is cheap and rs long rs we air polite
10 the ladies they can't git mad and resort
to arms to force us into legislatin fer thcr
| interests like they want us to. Women
aint got no otes and rs long rs they aint
| we mir not goin to set up mites tlggerin on
, how to git ther iniluents fer campane pur
poses. Ther congress here was n interna'
| tional council of women sellcbratin tn,
, | fortieth anniversary of the first wOmani
rites convention, and n good many o
them looked like they was old enough I,
vote at that convention. line n woman
ritter when 1t comes to n woman's rit
3 TO be n lovin wife, n good mother, a duti
> | full dauter, q ernest Christian, q tende
! nuss, comforter TO the sick and sufIerin
a n lite in dark places, noted advocate o
q temperance, moral glide, n butiful crit
4 | ter for the world to love- n beam of sun
n shine In evyery room OF home, n visiter {
\ | the pore, a charm TO the rich, and il
: evvery way livin egsampel that she i
4 Hevyins best gift to man, but i aint i
faver Of her gitten down 10 the low leVc
!. | Of politics and votin and werkin up
r campane and settin up with the boys an
9 actin generlly like most Of us stateSme
: has 10 do.
II Men has got one field to I'll and womc
r has got another, and they oughter kee
out Of each others pastors. Men ain
n tryin TO wear women's dresses, and wome
S aint got no business tryin to wear men
IS britches. We air satisiide TO do the fiji
d and the yotln, and they oughter be salts
a | fide to do the talkin and the nussin. III
l. women air smart, though, and thar ain
@ no use denyin it. i heerd ther speeches
II and thar wasn't one that couldent aeon
rite on the floor of the house aud done a
L well as any statesman thar, but that ain
v no sine, fer thar amt n statesman on tn
q floor but ef ho had little tranin Couldeu
a make n dress or cook meal OF VttlC
v Jst rs good rs any woman o
,s that platform. know in my own homo
II cf Mandy is sick some mornins / git Il
lt and git breckfust rs good as she can, but
It don't look material doin it, and she says
Il tastes kinder onregerlar, jist as it wOul
Is De ef, when i got indispoSed, she wOul
a come and take my sect in congress. A
|. long as thar is a banboS in this CRATE an
a glorious republic of ours lme agin wome
r. tryn TO carry her clothes in n ballot boz
n Them's my sentiments. Yours truly,
/ w. Q. WAXEM,
g NJ. c. from Wayback