Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-07-12

don't you use the cook stove?" @PoOr
pa" said Angelina, show he wanders.
Cook stove! Wonder what he means?"
BleWitt closed his eyes and thought
Bayley, his new neighbor, was man he
could trust-that is, in anything but
money matters. He knew Bayley was
badly in debt, but he was good fellow.
! He would send for him; SO he called his
| wife and told her to send over for him.
'sWhy, you know" said Mrs. BIewist,
''Bayley has been in jail for debt the last
ten years"
"In-iail-for-debt said BIewitt;
s'here we are again; 1 have been trans
planted. I give up; but say, mere is two
cents. You send g letter down to broth
er John, and ne will be up here in day
or two"
"Why, husband, the mail only goes
once week, and then he will be three
days coming up on the stage, and fur
thermore, it will cost a shilling-twelve
cents-to send letter to Albany"
''Say," said Blewitt, lust bury me.
will you? don't belong to this century!
Stage coaches, twelve cents posta ge
Telegraph him, then!"
"There goes another new word" said
his wife in solemn voice, and she wet
ted a cloth and laid it on his forehead, as
she repeated to herself, "Telegraph;"
what funny wordw
Blewitt was in despair Could it be
that all the common things of life we've
to him a dream? Had he ever ridden on
the cara? Did he ever own a moving
machine? Was there ever a telegraph
pole in front of bis house? He turned
his eye and looked out. He only saw the
tall post and long pole of the ll-sweep.
Along the other side of the road ran a
dense forest. He was willing to swear
that he had once owned nice meadow
where that wood was. Backed up against
the low fence was an ox-cart with a neap
as large as young hberty-pole. Down
cellar he could hear the banging of an
old fashioned churn. He looked up the
road to the east and saw the road was full
of great hemlock and pine stumps, and
over it the doctor was coming on horse
back, with saddle-bags before him.
Blewitt was a man of determination,
and he arose from the lounge and went to
the door to consult with his wife.
"Maria," said he, "there has been
enough of this foolishness. You stare at
everything talk about, and I can't To-
cate myself, or seem to lay in my sur
roundings. Now will you just answer me
one question:
Certainly will if I understand it,"
said she.
"Well, then, who is president of these
'ere United States?"
"Why, John Adams, of course" she
said.
Blewitt sank down and whispered:
"Then you never heard of Cleveland
swinging around the circle?"
"NO, never" she answered.
CITIZEN all right. Shoot me or put me
in a bag and lay me away up in the gar
ret. have got through" said Blewitt,
and he went back to the lounge and fell
asleep.
When he awoke it was Sunday morning,
and the whole family was stirring around
getting ready for meeting. His wife,
of whom he was somewhat proud, had put
on dress with the waste about nine in
ches long and skirt SO tight she could
hardly walk; and on her head such bon
net! It made BIewitt hold his breath,
but he had got through talking. The
boys had on suits of full cloth and shirt
collars seven inches wide. Blewitt smiled
but said nothing. At last Mrs. Blewitt
came to him and asked him if he was go
ing to church
Certainly, certainly" said he. "any-
thing to accumulate. Tell one of the
boys to hitch horse into the top car
riage."
"Top carriage! There you go again."
''WeIl, them" roared Blewitt, "hitch on
to the stone boat, hitch on to the OK cart,
hitch on to anything. Have your own
way"
"Why, we will go on horseback-you
on the saddle, on the pillon behind"
said the wife.
"AH right" said Blewitt, and away they
went.
Blewitt made some adverse remarks
about the singing at church, which was
led by deacon with fiddle. The ser
mon was too long, too. 1t lasted two
hours. On his way home from church
his wife appeared to be in fear of some
thing and urged him to hurry up. He
asked her what allied her, and she told
him in a trembling voice, that his queer
talk had made the minister think him be-
witched, and she feared he would be burn
ed or drownded.
"What kind of country is this, any
howl" asked Blewitt.
Then Mrs. Blewitt reminded him that
in New England several had thus died,
and that everybody believed in it and the
church was death on witchcraft.
"Theu I guess we better light out from
here,'' said Blewitt, as he clapped spurs
TO his horse. .
Away they went rattle-te- bang, over
stumps and logs and stones, and there
was a rattle and roar behind him and he
knew they were after him. They came
to log bridge over brook, and they
struck it so hard that down it went, Bile
witt the horse and wife, and with yell of
despair he awoke eyes, awoke, for the
chair had tipped too far back, and he was
in a heap on the floor, with his head in a
pan of apple and his feet in Mrs. Blewitt's
work-basket. He heard the rafting yet,
and he looked out of the window to dis
cover its source, and saw that the boys
had started the reaper in the field of
wheat. One of the girls had just driven
into the yard with the top carriage, and
had offered him telegraph dispatch
about his hops. His wife was putting in
tenor to the racket with a sewing ma
chine in the front room, and the hired
girl was backing the cooking range.
With a pleased smile Blewitt sauntered
ont to the wheat field, and as the reaper
stopped, he said: "Darn the good old
times! These times is good enough for
me-"
"What's that, father?" said John. 81
thought you was in favor of the real,
honest, reliable, good old-tashioned times
of hundred years ego?"
"Never you mind, JOHN" said the
smiling father. 'You can go down and
buy that Thompson colt you've been
wantin' and let Charley have your side
t,oy WI in
takin' no hurt, you may go down to Bar
L "a, nd mt tina ,uhanf