The Sully County watchman. (Clifton, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1894, 1888-11-17
THE MIDDLERIBS.


the sting of a bee was a sure cure for
rheumatism, and citing several instances
which had been cured by this abrupt
remedy. Mr.. Middlerib did not stop to
reflect that a paper is very apt to say any
thing; no only thought of the rheumatic
twing that grabbed his knees once in a
while, and made life 4 burden to him.
He read the article several times and
pondered over it. He understood that
the stinging must be done scientifically
and thoroughly. The bee, as he under
stood the article, was to be gripped by
the ears and sat down upon the rheu
matte Joint. and held there until it stupg
itself stingless. He had some misgivings
about the matter. He knew il would hurt.
He hardly thought it could hurt any
worss than the rheumatism, and it had
been so many'years since he was stung by Il
bee that he had almost forgotten ~hat it
felt like. He had, however, general
feeling that it would hurt some. But
desperate disease required desperate
remedies, and Mr.. Middlerit was willing
to undergo any amount of suffering if it
would cure his rheutism.
He contracted with Master Middlerib
for limite. supply OF bees, humming
and buzzine in the air, but Mr.. Middlerib
did not know how to get them. He felt,
however, that ne could safely depend up
on the instincts and methods of boyhood.
He knew that if there was anyway in
Heaven whereby the shyest bee that ever
lifted two hundred pound man off the
clover could be induced to enter wide
mouthed bottle, his son knew that wny.
For the small sum of one dime Master
Middlerib agreed to procure several, to
wit: Six bees, sex and ago not specified;
but, as Mr.. Middlerib was left in uncer.
tainty as TO the race, it was made obliga-
tory upon the contractor to have three of
them honey and three humble, or in the
generally accepted vernacular, bundle
bees. Mr.. M. did not tell his son what
he wanted with these bees, and the boy
went off with his head so full of astonish-
ment that il fairly whirled. Evening
brings all home, and the last rays of the
declining sun fell upon Master Middlerib
with short, wide mouthed bottle, com
fortab;y populated with hot, ill.natured
bees, and Mr.. Middlerib and dime. The
dime and the bottle changed hands. Mr..
Middlerib put the bottle of bees in his
coat pocket and went into the house, eye
ing everybody he met suspiciously, as
though ne had made up his mind to sting
to death the fret person who said bee"
TO him. H. conided his guilty secret to
none of his family. He hid his bees in
his bed room, and as he looked at them
Just before putting them away, he half
wished the experiment was safely over.
He wished the imprisoned bees did not
look go hot aud crHss. With exquisite
care he submerged ihe bottle in a basin
of water, aud let = few drops in on the
heated inmates to cool them off.
At the teatable he had a fearful fright.
Miss Mlddierib, in the srtless simplicity
of her artless nature, said:
az smell bees. How the odor brings
up"
But her father glared at her and said,
with superfluous harshness and execrable
grammar:
"Hush up. You don't smell nothing"
Whereupon Mrs. Middlerib asked him
if he had eaten anything that disagreed
with him, and Miss Middlerib said:
"Why, pa!' and Master Middlerib
smile d as he wondered.
Bed time at last, and the night was
sultry and warm. Under various false
pretenses, Mr.. Mi6dlerib strolled about
the house until everyone else was in bed,
and then he sought his room. He turne d
the night shade down till it's feeble rays
shone as dimly as death light
Mr.. Middlerib disrooed slowly-very
slowly. When at last he was ready to 90
numbering To his peaceful couch, he
heaved profound sigh, so full of appre-
hens,on and grief thst Mrs. Middierib,
who was awakened by il, said if IL gave
him SO much pain to go to bed, perhaps
he had better sit mp all night. MIR. Mid
dlerib said nothing, but checked another
.,h MT hA1
still a few moments he reached out and
got his bottle of bees.
II was nos an easy thing TO pick ont
one bee ont of bottleful, with his fin
gers, and not get into trouble. The hrst
bee Mr.. Middlerib got was a little brown
honey bee that wouldn't weigh half an
ounce if you picked him up by the ears,
but il you lifted him by the hind legs,
would weigh as much as the last end OF
bay mule. Mr.. Middlerib could not re-
press groaD.
"What's the matter with your" sieeply
asked his wife.
Ii was very hard for Mr.. Middlerib to
say be caly felt hot, but he did it. He
didn't have to lie about 1t either. He did
feel very hot indeed. About eighty-six
all over, and about one hundred and nine
ty-seven on the end of his thumb. lie
reversed the bes, and placed the war-liEe
terminus of II i-mly against the rhen-
matte knee.
1t didn't hurt so badly as he thought Il
would.
Then Mr.. Middierib remembered that
when a honey bee stats human foe, II
generally leaves its harpoon in th'
wound, and the invalid knew that the
only thing this bee had TO sting with wa
doing its work at the end of his thumb
He reached his arm out from under the
sheet, and dropped this disabled atom
of rheutmaism liniment on the carpet
Then, after a SO ,ond of blank wonder, ht
began to feel cound for the bottle, and
wished he knew what he did with 1t.
In she meantime strange things had
been going on. When he caught hold OF
the first bee Mr.. Midd,erib, for reasons
drew it out in such haste that for time
he forgot all about the bottle, and its
remedial contents, and left il uucorket
in the bed, between himself and his in
nocent wife. In the darkness there hac