The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-02-22
VEGETABLE RED.

VEGETABLE RED.
am inclined to hope that I am the
most nervous man in the world. Like
many shy men, am comparatively happy
when am by myself. was very happy
on q certain important but ''ornery look
ing" afternoon on the Underground
Railway. My Office in Whitehall street
had left me free at o'clock, and l had
a new edition of "Sophocles" to read.
The Greek drama was always my sub
ject, and 1 have, indeed, prepared an
edition of "sophocles'' on my own ac-
count in which my various readings are
conclusively proved to be only correct
ones; it will be published posthumously.
Well, the new edition was one source of
happiness, my solitude was another.
Moreover, one foot was resting on the
cushion opposite and my other leg was
crossed over that knee. had only just
begun a cigarette, and was secure in the
rejection that should not have to move
for some minutes, when an event hap
pened which would not necessarily seem
of any importance; the door of the next
compartment separated only from mine
by half way partition) opened, and two
lad es got in. They were evidently
young ladies from their voices and
words.
"Why, this is smoking carriage!
With the usual horrid smell in it, too"
'Well, there's no one smoking in it
now, Maggie, so 60 on with your tale. l
always thought that you rather liked
him"
'Liked himi" the other voice "a pretty
voice. answered. "Why, my dear May,
he is req .headed-has that vivid, veget-
able red that always loathed and de-
testedw
Now, my hair is red, vegetable, vivid,
vile and detestable; of that color with
which only the invidious freckle loveth
to abide l don't like the color of my
own hair. If 1 could have braved the
sneers of some vendor of dyes, if could
have faced the unapproving silence of
my polite acquaintance, and the banter
of my office, then l should have very
gradually changed the color of my hair.
But what was | to do uowa If kept
silen e might ovcrhear condolences
from this unseen "Maggie" concerning
her relations with and conduct toward
nv companion in misfortune. This
would never do. So coughed.
The cough was evidently not noticed,
for the young lady who answered to the
name of May said:
'Look, Maggie, the r~Gition doesn't
60 up to the roof. wonder if there is
q man on the other side!"
'l'll easily settle that, my dear" Mag
gle replied, to my horror.
There was nothing else for it, so I
feigned sleep hs we'll as I could, while 1
imagined and partly heard this dreadful
young woman getting on the seat, and
felt that was being examined over the
partition. Then it occurred to me with
sort of spasm that sleep with O lighted
cigarette in the mouth was inconsistent
and improbable. Puff at the cigarette
I could not, and my nostrils were being
horribly irritated by the smoke that was
curling around them. held on rs long
as I could, feeling meanwhile that my
face was becoming more and more con-
gested, until at last, hoping that my OBJ
server had Withdrawn herself, and being
utterly incapable of living longer with
out fresh air, | burst out with yelp,
curiously compounded of splutter, cough
and sneeze. I looked up at the parti-
tlon. The interval between It and the
roof of the carriage was small one, and
Maggie had been compelled to turn her
face little sideways to get good view
of me. BY means of her hat she had
been imprisoned in this position, and
was now tugging and pulling to get free.
1t was most uacommonly uncomforta-
BILE situation, but, though was devoutly
anxious for the immediate and painless
death of one of us, was aware dimly,
just then, that Maggie was young per-
son of considerable attractions. Her
face was beautiful oval, and she had a
brilliant color, partly the result of her
position and exertion, I supposed.
This state of affairs la ted, perhaps, a
good five seconds-seconds that l
felt to drag like the centuries which
precede summer holiday. What to do2
If l offered TO help could only advance
matters by either pulling her hat off or
souashing it back against the roof.
Moreover, was almost certain to touch
her face! No wonder that girl with a
face like that -"loathcd and detestcd"
vegetable rcd hair. "'
. Even thes. five seconds came to an
end at last. With great struggle the
face disappeared, but Gudge of my en-
barrassmcnt and horror y the hat fell at
nv feet where was standing in inde-
cision and dismay.
'May," I heard Maggie whisper to to
her friend, 'there was man there. VI
course he has red hair, and my hat has
fallen over into his carriage"
We were getting near station, l was
glad to see AS the train whirled in !
handed the hat over the partition, and
said with as much hrmness as conld
command, in an affair of such complica-
ted discomfort: "Your hit, | believe
allow mer'
rbon without WAITING to collect nv