The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1888-10-19

'Barker's that's the name, interrupted
my wife suddenly and wholly unintelligibly.
" Excuse me, John, were you speaking I?
I've been trying to recall the name of a
fertilizer Uncle Joe uses on his farm.
don't think this city soil is rich enough.
The vine needs more nourishment
''You might give it course of cod liver
oil OF few bottles Of beef, wine and iron, :"
| replied with some asperity.
The fertilizer was bought and freely
applied, but at the end of week the vine
still remained passive and apparently
uninterested spectator.
1T won't do, Annie, said, Barkers's
isn't strong enough. That bit of botany
down in the yard there wants summer at
the seashore, winter in FLORIDA and a
spring at German spa. would also re-
commend free massage treatment
To tell the truth, the vine was becoming
an incubus. The neighbors on the block
manifested an uncomfortable interest in it.
They looked in curiously only at first, then
rather derisively, and now when they
passed an expression of contemptuous pity
stole over their countenances that was not
agreeable. We had lived SO little time in
the neighborhood that I felt our reputation
was not sufficiently established to stand
this sort of thing. put ON bold front
though, and tried in mean, masculine
way to shift the responsibility. I made
jocose remarks, loud enough to be heard
two doors away on either side, to my wife
about her vine, and felt sneakingly better
when saw that such cowardly humorous
efforts provoked feeting and rapidly sup
pressed smile from either adjacent door
step.
Six weeks went by. The middle Of May
gave place to the first of July, when, one
evening, my wife met me with smile of
triumph upon her face, and, turning me
around to the doorstep, pointed down to
the much maligned and heretofore immov-
able vine.
"Did yog sec ?n she asked. expectautly.
Ibid see. Since had looked at the thing.
and was sure I had glanced that way
that very morning the stunted and incom-
prehensible trailing plant had added at
least five inches to its stature.
Whats come over it, do you suppose ~
1 asked in some trepidation, fo- the idea OF
that vine growing seemed positively
uncanny.
q think, " said my wife wisely, putting
her head to one side, ''that the effect OF
Barker's is cumulative like opium. The
vine suddenly feels the combined force of
all that have put on, and l don't mind
telling you now that there is something to
show for it that I have used pounds y
And l think she had, if it was Barker 5
that prompted the growth of that vine for
anything like its progress never saw.
Within week it had cleared the base
ment window and was on level with the
parlor sill, and at the end of little over a
fortnight it was nodding tendril of pale
green at the second floor. 1t grew close
with the wire, twisting around ii as if to
twist itself further up. The passers by
noticed and commented upon it. My wife
fairly baslzed and beamed in its wonderful
growth. My own feelings also underwent
change. began to refer to it as the
vine, then as our vine, and at the store
did not hesitate to say boldly, 81 have a
viue over at my house, etc. The vine
;EenIf ut cd 81 1x- 70 ,,c-
it reached the roof, as it did before a
month was out, it grew wild for day or
so, sending ont long, swaying shoot ;
then it caught on to the shutter of the
third floor window and began meander-
ing course back to earth. All the way
down it swung out its teDtacles, finding a
hold on anything shutter hook, window
ledge, or even a slight roughness in the
stone. By the middle of August the house
was beautifully festooned, and still the
original stalk was growing toward all
points of the compass.
Every man on the block envied me that
vine. felt that as family and as a
house-front we were an ornament to the
neighborhood.
I always take fortnight off the latter
part of September. did as Usual that
year. Ny wife and children followed me
out on the doorstep and arranged them
selves in picturesque group as l walked
off, gripsaek in hand turned back two
doors away and saw them thus framed in
the rich green of the luxurious vine.
felt proud of the entire landscape-animal
and vegetable. Goodbye" l said +;
atake care of yourselves" and then,
CHANGING at the clambering foliage,
warmed to that.
eve must have that trimmed down this
fall and packed in straw" | called, nod
ding toward the vine. There was wagon
passing at the moment, and | put down to
the noise of that the apparently garbled
reply of my wife.
Il think so, too-a perfect nuisance.
My return was accomplished at night.
The air was mild, though October, end
after an hour or two of welcoming gossip
Mrs. John and l sought the doorstep while
l finished my last cigar.
"Oh, John, did as you suggested-had
the vine cut down while you were away,
remarked my wife casually.
q Won mean trimmed down for W inter- =