Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1888-07-17
~Make Il go wrongr r repeated "What

~Make Il go wrongr repeated "What
do you meanr
Ella regarded me witheringly; then said:
"Really, Charlie, you seem q If you were
being stupid on pwposa Why, OF course.
when Uncle Simon goes up to get ready for
dinner shall simply lock the door. Then
we can pretend that the lock has stuck fast
again and that we can't get the door open.
When Uncle Gregory has gone to bed-you
know be always goes quite eariy-we can let
poor Old Uncle Simon out, and give him
splendid supper to make up for the loss OK
his dinner He is very good natured, you
know. And then" she concluded, ''he will
be away in the morning before Uncle ereg-
CRY Is up. 50 there you arer
gave vent to q low, prolonged whistle.
woman, Nell" l said gravely. What a
diplomatist you would have nader
YES" modestly; II think it rather nice
noon while was putting baby to Sleep"
There are two rather serious objections.
however," observed, after putting at my
pipe for some seconds In siieaco
"Wen r. rather sharply.
"Well-it seems an uncommonly sneaky
kind of thing, doesn't it Even for US" with
grim smile
"Oh, no." promptly 'Not when you get
used to the idea | thought SO myself at first,
but 1t soon wore off
"Ah" murmured lost In admiration Of
this remarkable and easy code of morala
"You said two objections, Charlie" 70
sumed my wife "What was the otherT
"How are you SO sure that my uncle will
arrive frstr l inquired If it should
chance to be yours l wouldn't give much for
the success Of your plan MIR Carper is q
very respectable old gentleman-but | think
you could hardly cali MIN sweet temperedi
He
"Now. don't make objections, dear" In
terrupted Ella, decisively. Il know your
uncle win come first, because be always
comes early in the afternoon, and Uncle
Gregory never comes until the last train he
can possibly get before dinner time"
Besides" said weakly, there win be no
opportunity for the lock to stick FAST
imagine don't think my uncle locks his
bedroom door. Men don't generally.
meyer do"
'Oh, it doesn't want to be locked, you
silly boyi Ii left the key inside, how could
fasten it outside. Really, Charlie, you are
much less Intelligent than l thought you
were"
bore this accusation meekly and in 81
lence ! was thinking what a fearful row
there would be if the imprisoned uncle got
out before the appointed time and found us
entertaining the enemy at dinner, Then a
sudden feeling Of conjunction took possession
Of me-
mo, by Jover' I exclaimed, rising from
the sofa, and taking up position On the
hearthrug, ~ won't consent to any such
plan It's certain to misc fire somehow; and
then We'll be in q nice scrape Let the two
old fellows come and have done with it II
they disinherit US both. and ignore our sons
future, it can't be helped I'm heartily sick
OF all this pretense, and underhand nonsense,
and won't have any more Of It..
But Ella, after a dismayed pause, wept and
entreated 50. and, in short. cajcled me in the
way women do cajole US when they like, to
such purpose that | at last gave in and con-
sented, whereupon hyperbolical letters were
4 written to both uncles expressive of our
pleasure at their projected visit etc. and
permitted myself the luxury Of being in an
exceedingly bad temper for the next few
daya
The fateful Tuesday arrived in due course
and BY Elias special request | came home by
a much earlier train than usual The after
noon had passed without bringing Uncle
Simon Our evil star was evidently in the
ascendant, for at half-past 5 fly from the
station drove up to the door, and from it
stepped-Uncle Gregory
looked at Ella witheringly.
! ssNavar mind deac She sai1 In hI,Y-rior}
tones. at can't be helped III manage,
Just leave everything to me-"
| muttered few maledictory remarks I'M
der my breath. and went to the door with
wreathed smiles to meet our relative | saw
at once, by certain infallible signs, that he
was in one Of his most aggressive moods He
swore at the hyman contradicted me fatty
and rudely when | mentioned the usual fare,
and snubbed poor Ella SO viciously on the
subject of a new velvet dress she wore that
saw the tears spring to her eyes with NORTH
cation, and myself crimsoncd with rage.
However, we pressed him to take some re-
freshment-sherry, think it was, and after
two large glasses of the same he became
somewhat notified
At this point telegram was handed in.
It was from my uncle. saying we might ex-
pect him by the $50.
"wouldnt you like to get ready for dinner
now, uncle r. Ella said after some time, with
a nervous glance at the timepiece q had
shown her the telegram, 1t was quarter
to 6, and Uncle Simons train was due in five
minutes.
Plenty Of time, plenty Of time" said the
old gentleman, helping himself to another
glass Of sherry. You don't dine till 6, dc
youf"
saw that Ella was quite pale.
"Pray, don't hurry" observed calmly.
As spoke, the whistle Of Uncle Simon's
train was heard in the distance Ella disap
peared from the room and in another mo
ment the dinner bell sounded vigorously.
Old Carper rose-after imbibing a final
glass Of sherry.
II hope you have something decent for
dinner" be growled. I'm as hungry as
hunter Hadn't time for more than q bite al
lunch.s
l smiled q painful smile and murmured
something to che effect that hoped he would
have something he could enjoy.
The old fellow plodded heavily up stairs
where Ella was whiting to usher him into ths
! fatefui pink room. In another moment my
wife, flushed and breathlsss, joined me at the
foot of the stairx -----------'
tIT"Havc yuu done e asked gloomily
feeling as imagine Macbeth must have done
"Yes," she answered. showing me the key
preparatory to slipping it into her pocket.
"And, Charley, I took down the bei!rops
to-day, 50 oil Is safe But, oh deari how
very unfortunate that uncle Simon didn,
como first. suppose be viii be here di
rectly."
Just then the doorbell rang loudly. 1t was