The Washington critic., 1888-03-05
CRITICULAR.
Who said this wa, spring?

VINO Nulu lnlS WdN apIlnB
At n meeting several weeks ago Of the
Gridiron Club, Senator Vance was called
on to speak and he spoke. Hereferred to
the press, of course, and the boys tried to
choke him oil but he wouldn't be choked.
He said he had heard always of the power
of the press, but until now had never
been behind the scenes and looked upon
what the real power was and IL reminded
him Of story. On one occasion a farmer
i'm North Carolina took his boy to a rail
road station to let him see, for the first
time, train. The boy looked at 1t in open
mouthed wonder, and the old man showed
him all the main features.
Look thar" he said, "thars all them
cars, any of 'em biggern the house we
live in, and all loaded full, and weighin'
moren forty hay stacks, and that ingine
up thar swirls EN- along about60 mile an
hour and don't half try"
"Yes, dad" murmured the boy, half
frightened.
"And thars more power than hun
derd hoss teams, and it goes on er it stops,
iist as they want IL to-"
"Who handles it, dad2'
The father took the boy up TO the en-
gine and showed him the engineer, lit
tie greasy, dirty good for nothing looking
chap, with skull cap on his head and
cigar stump in his mouth. The boy
looked him over carefully, looked at the
engine, the long train, and then at his
father, and giving sort of sniff, he
said:
We'll It don't take much of a man 10
run it, do it, dad?n
This is the day to shovel the spring Off
of your sidewalks.
They believe in Sunday observance in
Mexico. 1t is the only day in the week
when bull-iights are permissible.
In the parlor:
She Do you sing Mr. Basso?
He: Oh, yes; would you like to hear
me2
She: Thank you. Don't trouble your
self. I'm perfectly willing to take your
word for it.
She; How does my bonnet look, dear?
He: Bang up.
She How is II on top?
He; Don't know. Wait till get q step
ladder.
Ifthis is Greedy spring, we'd like to
see Ground Hogs somersault.
THE NEW JERUSALEM.
A white horse wandered through the
streets,
And he was weak and pale;
| His name no longer was his might,
The whisk had left his tail.
| He sought, in vain, treasure gone,
And frequently he sighed;
He lost his appetite, and then
He laid him down and died.
L Enrol.
| And why, you ask, was this thing so?
This answer we indorse-
| There was no woman in that town
With hair to match the horse.
To-DAYs WEATHER REPORT.
Light to fresh easterly Winds warmer,
fair weather. G. GREELY
Closed for repairs. VIII open six weeks
from February2 G. HOG.
P.S.-You pays your money and you
takes your choice.
The flowers that bloom in the spring,
ira la,
Have nothing to do with this weather.
soLILoQUY OF THE GROUND HOG.
1t occurs to me In casual way,
Don't You know,
That Greely is leading the weather astray,
Don't you know;
And think he had better go into his
And pull it in after him, 'pon my soul.
In there he can figure and make out his
score,
And report on the weather of the day
before,
Don't you know.
An American took an English slugge
around TO see Sullivan, and when they
left the bar-room the American began Il
sound his companion.
"Well, how does he strike you?" h,
asked.
"lIo doesn't strike me at all, if cal
help it," was the honest reply
Now the wings will flap together,
The boys will take the stump,
And wen give the people tariff
With hop, skip and jump.
-[From ''Iron-ical Rhymes" by Sam
Randall.