The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-03
BRIGHT BITS

Il HEAR that you and your brother contested
itf" e0"' 'iD ''' VI can
Il should say we did; broke everybody that
had anything to do with the estate or the fam
lily, except the lawyers. "-Bpdettc.
NOBODY FOOLED. What the girl with the
paraSol and her companion are thinkng-It's
awfully mean to lead him on so when | am al
ready engaged; but it is such fun!
WHAT ne thinks-This is low sort of business
FOR man who's to be married IN October. They
are no end ofsport, though, and could have
either OF them for the asking.
SUPERINTENDENT tof bobtan horse car line)-
Tue crlVer OF No II ran over an old lady to-day
ana broae her arm.
President--Well people ought to he more
careful
Suprintendent-And the amount of money in
the box indicates that he is careless about fares
PreSid ent-Wna-at? Discharge him at once!
Exchange
WONT we get any dinner to-day, MAJ" asked
little Johnny McSwilligen, rather anxiously, as
the congregation sang the closing hymn at the
morning service last sunday.
VI course we will, johnny whispered his
mamma. What put that question into your
headT'
why, everybody's singing. We're going
home. to dine no more. '-Pittsburq Chronicle.
Ion, dry up" shouted somebody in the
crowd to the intoxicated individual ia the
middle, who was trying to make a campaign
speech
Genrmen," said the speaker, stopping short
10 his harangue. and looking about with an in
Jured and iusulted air, u donno what I've ever
(hic) done to make you wish (hic) that | should
ever thicl come (hic) to such awful end!"-
Somercue Journal.
WHERE is your brother now, BrigsbyY"
He's about to go on trip to Europe He
made fortune, you know"
SIS that so? Howe
HE got up O remedy for sleeplessness which
is so excellent that he sold the right to make it
at great figure"
"Who did he sell it toy"
ITO dealer in police supplies. "-Lincoln
Journal.
"YoUNG MAN." said the solemn-faced gentle
man to the urchin who was putting with all his
might at cigar. let me warn you In time that
that Is frightful vice you are cultivating."
but are you not afraid of bringing your poor
fathers gray hair in sorrow to the gravey''
mo. amt"
why nots'
Because papa's bald-headed. Merchant
Traveller.
UNCLE RAsTUs entertaining the minister at
Sunday dinner)-Will yo' arsk de blessing, Mis-
tab Lovejoy?
Minister (suspiciously) Excuse me, Brudder
Rastus, but wha di' yo git dem alb chickensY
Uncle Rastus (hastily)-I whitewsshed er
fence TO 'em, Mistah Lovejoy, deed did; OATS
homes
Minister (fervently) may de guide Lo'd.
wifi his infinite mercy, SEN down (etc., etc -
NelO York Sun
MORE WIND-Prof Rose, who hit this town
last spring to get up class in music, and who
has been here on his uppers ever since, doesn' t
| like our way of dealing with him. Because we
| suggested last week that he quit dead beating,
| and pick up the pick or shovel, he Is around
| town calling us fugitive from justice, and ask
| ing why the police don't do something Gently,
| professor When we left Xena o., the sheriff
| patted us on the back and lent US half a dollar
! We are the only man in this town who doesn't
| turn pale when the stage comes in, and the only
| one who doesn't break for the sage brush when
| it is announced that the United States marshal
| is here. We amt rich or pretty, but we are
| good, and the professor is barking up the wrong
| tree. We don't bear him any ill-wll, but the
professor must retract his statements about us
| or we'll drop liue to Pinkerton, asking if
Yaller Jim, alias Prof. Rose, isn't wanted some
where.-Arizond Kicker.