Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-09-08
TIUMOR.

The rich man cannot enter the king
dom OF Heaven, but he can have q
laundering good time at the seashore.
Lincoln journal.
IT would not be surprising if some
society women We're to set apart day
upon which to receive their children.
-Philadelphia CaH.
THE fact that the beauty Of Chicago
girls lies in their feet accounts for 50
many of the girls of that city Icing
nashers.-Boston Courier.
BLoBsoN Don't you think that
Dempsey rather plays the fool? Pop
injay-No, sir; think that he work s
at the job. harrington Free Press.
HE is called "the funny old clown, :"
because if it We're not known that he is
old there would be no accounting for
where he got his jokes.
TTdreler.
BRowN-I understand that you con-
template going into The coal business?
Jones-I do if 1 can get site. Brown
What kind of a site. Jones-Anthra-
cite.-ArcOld Record.
ST. LOUIS man witnessing Julius
Cesar -Do you notice, my dear, with
what stately grace Brutus moves about !?
Wife-Yes, and he is in his night & )wn
too. It's wonderful!
MINISTER dining with the family
SO your mamma doesn't want you to
eat more than one piece of PIE, Bobby?
Bobby-NO, sir; excepS when we are
visiting. Then l can have all L want.
BoARDER - Strawberry short AXE,
Mrs. Stew? Mrs. Stew-No, Mr. Tickle;
it is plain strawberry cak'. Boarder-
o! l thought it was strawberry short
cake, as | find my piece rather short of
berries
OLD lady Ito street gamin)-Boy you
are dirty little fellow. Why don't you
run home and ask your mother to wash
your face and hands? Gamin-Me
mudder amt got time, mum to-day.
It's wash day.
WE are no. offering years subscrip-
ton in exchange for the biggest water
melon this year. We are in III, farm
ing business ourselves, and we are work
ing it the other way-five melons to
every new subscriber, There's a pre-
MUM for you.-iSmithrHe Ne,rs.
You would like to know what is the
most lone ONE, forlorn thing that ever
had being under the light of the stars
1t is the poor LITTLE solitary mis-
taken clap of applause that shrinks back
into silence and shadow after startling
crowded theater.-Puch.
A CHILD who had Just mastered her
catechism confessed herself disappoint-
ed, because. she said, though 1 obey
the fifth commandment and honor my
papa and mamma, yet my days are not
bit longer in the land, because L am
still put to bed at seven o'clock"
DUMLEY-Who was that gentleman
that touched his hat so politely to you
just now, Hardcash? Hardcash-My
tailor. Dumley with an envious sigh
All, it must be glorious experience
to be treated in that way by ones
tailor.-The Epoch.
PoLITIcIAN-Well, Uncle Rastus,
who's your man, Harrison or Ciove-
land? Uncle Rastus (cautiously)-Fs
gwine in dis yeah for Unc. Rastus, sab;
he's my man. Is you meanin' emmy bust
HESS us llluN NH IhlStdl olull, VI AN
yo' simply fealin OBJ de situation p
Ne,o York Sun.
DEACON Ito divinity student)-f you
were called now, what would you do?
Student somewhat absent -minded)
Why, show down my hand, of course-I
I-that-is-I-- Deacon-That's
right; always show down your hand.
Don't pull gun. The other fellow
might get the drop on you-PhiladeL-
phia Call.
TWO PICTURES.
Last night saw her at the al,
In beauty's circle proudly gay,
ately figure, grl nd nd all
She was the belle, heard them say
To-day ! see her as S stanls,
The fresh wind blowing from the south,
With pi low cases in her hands
And several clothespi in her mouth
Yet she's as fair to me to-day,
As winsome, be iutif and bright,
As when among the dancers gay
saw her ut the ball last night.
Boston Courier.
Mr.. DIR. Mary Walker rode up in the
elevator at the treasury department the
other day. One of her fellow passengers
oorriad a IiOhted cipar in hia hand and