The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-04-16
BRIGHT BITS.

GOOD many women who have married dry
goods clerks have got two yards of illusion as a
premlum.-Neto Haven Nelcs
SUCCESSFUL young artist tell you, Jim,
there is big field for artists in New York
Unsuccessful ditto-I suppose you refer to the
potter's field.-Hdrper'S Bdzar.
SUNDAY-scHooL TEACHER Tommy, do you
know what the meaning of Amen" isy
Tommy Yesm; it's what the people say
when they think it's time for the minister to
stop.-Ne'o York Sun
OLD TAXPAYER my little man, what
do you expect to do when you grow up!
Little boy-A politician like papa.
"A politician, eh?'
Eyes, hate work Omaha World.
You've WIFE-George, I'm not going to the
theater again till high hats go out of fashion.
always have the bad luck to sit behind one.
George-That's just what | heard the man
say who sat behind you last night.-Nelo York
Tribune.
He was a base ball player, and he asked girl
to marry him. 'Out on first" she said, with
cold, reflective smile.
Don't Halter yourself he replied, as he
picked himself up its out on third Washing
ton Critic.
FIRST BACHELOR Where shall we go this
afternoon, to the matinee, the circus or what?
Second Bachelor-What sort of hats are the
ladies wearing now?
Taller than ever"
We'll, let's go to a balloon ascension.-O Omaha
World.
McQUILLEN-I don't think there is anything
which exercises such refining influence on so
ciety as poetry. 1t sheds such a softening light
on the rOugher elements of our soul. Who is
your tavorite poet, Miss Foote?
Miss Foote (Chicago)-I don't know that have
any favorite; I'm just dead stuck on them all
Philadelphia Cali
STRANGER Ito young Mr.. Darwin)-Will you
kindly tell me the time sir?
Young Mr.. Darwin consulting his watch, a
Waterbury)-Aw, just 10, sir.
Stranger-Twelve? Why, that's hours too
fast
Young Mr.. Darwin-Aw, London time, v
know, sir.--NeU York Sun.
INDIGNANT PHYsIcIAN-Man, what have you
done? You sent my patient the wrong prescrip-
ton and it killed himY
Druggist "a calm man, accustomed to abuse
-Vhell, what vas der madder init you? Last
week send your Odder patient der rigid ber-
scription, and dot killed him. How can some
body please sooch man?-BroOkIyp Eagle.
In kentucky Stranger to tavernkeeper-
Can get drink of whisky here?
Tavernkeeper indignantly long have
you been in Kentucky, sab?
Stranger-I came in on the train that left
here fifteen minutes ago.
Tavernkeeper (softening)-Ef that's so, sab, l
can excuse you fer akin such durn fool ques-
tion.- WdShiGQtOa Critic.
THE gifted editor of the New York Press has
turned his powerful attention to the compost
ton of tariff ballads, in which pig IRON is
made to rhyme with Mount Zion, >" and ''lambs
wool with d--n fool" When a Pegasus that
has been used to Iowa oats and Burlington
baled hay gets down East he makes more Of a
sensation than troop of Arabian barbs let
loose in the Roman CoreO.-- Chicago NelcS.
THINGS have come to pretty pass. Fogg says
says he happened to remark in the streets the
other day that he was quite hoarse, and a rosy
headed maiden who passing at the time
looked at him as though she would go through
him. II was evident that she misunderstood
him, for quite hoarse and white horse do sound
very much alike, but then that was no fault OF
his. He didn't construct the language Boston
Transcript.