The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-11-07
PITH AND POINT.

- llhCLJ " 1C UeSSSN. 10 l.s,gegs
A high old time-The ancient clock
in the church steeple. JSss.2.
The business of marrying people
should be given to joiners. 81.
An Irish philosopher says the best
pumpkin pie is made of squash. sciSsl,
A good s'after" dinner spcech-Here,
Maria, hurry, I'm as hungry as 9 bear ~
The man who hates the corneG player
has been tootered in the school OF suffer-
ing. ss
An undertaken has fallen heir to for.
tune of $50, 600. He can now pose a. 9
wealthy "planter."
It is said that no one can arrest the
fight of Time, but who is there who II
not able to stop minute7
"Please, want to buy shillingy
worth of hay" ''Is it for your fatherf
"Oh, no; it's for the horse" =.
The left bower--The man who isn't
recognized by the lady to whom he lifts
his hat.-BuTlington Free Press. S.ss
s'There will be domestic storm, he
murmured, as he heard crash In the
kitchen: "The glass is falling. "-Bosten
Post. ny;
When man pays $500 for little
piece of quinine, it is hard to conyllce
him that it is drug in the market.-Iht
Idea. ..,... q 4
He has come to the Morgue to claim3a
lost relative: "Has he any peculiarity BY
which he can be recognized| "Yes, ne
is dumb" .s.--c.- VS.. :
In case of war with Canada no bank
cashiers will be allowed to enlist for in-t
vasion without previous examination
of their books.
1.-THE weigh of the transgressor e
hard" remarked the sheriff when the
criminal refused to step on the scales
Detroit Free Press. -
Requested to define the word "den.;
tist," Saphir said: HE is q man who
pulls out other peoples teeth to ges
something for his own to bite" 2..
The nights by great men reached and kepe
Were not attained by sudden Tight, .S
| But they while their companions Slept @
Were out among the boys all night.
-Merchant Traveller.
Mamie-'sWhat are you writing, Min.
mia: YOUR will2" Minnie-"No, Im
writing my won't. George proposes
last night and told him I'd answer to-
; day"
"That's itw exclaimed Mrs. Bascom at
the concert, as the singers came out again
| in response to an encore. 'Make 'em 90
it over again until they get the thing
right" &. -
Never use crow-bar to get a railroad
cinder out of your eye. A lead pencli
sharpeued to fine point will work It
out if you jab hard enough.-Dstr0't
Free Press. =
At a concert lately, after the ballad
lady had warbled "Would I Were .
Bird" great excitement was created by
q stalwSrt miner in the audience shout
ing: .'Would were gun. .''-Neo Yor6.
NeoS. -
"Doctor, I have come to see you
about my little boy" "What ails himT
"One leg is shorter than the .other and
he limps. Now, what would you do in
such case:" II think should limp,
! too"
Visitor-"Have you been unfortunate,
nv friend?" Conv.ct-"Well, dunno;
I robbed bank of $50, 900 and only got
three years for it. That's more money
than you can make in three years. - :
Time.
Old Mr.. Bently (reading the paper)-
"I see that the King of Spain Is Ill.
| Old Mrs. Bently-"Goodness, joshua, !
hope he hasn't got cant Ger, too" Olo
Mir. Bently-"No, he's teethlng."-
! Philip r. Welch.
There is a veil that scares them all,
The pagan and believer; -.
! For hear 1T now in Florida,
1t is the yell o'fever.
The distressing news comes from Eng
land that the rikce OF Wales loses his
! wind too quickly 10 make good tennis
player. He wouldn't make success1ui
member of the United States Congress,
either. .-NorristOWH AerdtI. 4
There were lot of Italians sorting
over waste heap on lower Broadway.
"Why are those people like Women.s
dresses2" asked Plugly; ana when MS
friend couldn't tell he SAID they were
gathered at the waist.-Sytangs.
'If you start on a Journey" says an
old book of wisdom, land meet cat,
YOU Should at once turn back" The
book does not say for what purpose you
should turn back, but "; suppose 1t Ii
to get your gun."-BHrI'ny:0n fTsS
Prass. .
Naomi-"George. say that you VIII
b. mine" Geo gc-''keally, this is
very sudden. I-er-I want to marry q
girl who can keep hou e." II can keep
house, love. l am grad ate OF the
cooking school, I'd c2n make delight
full bread" 81 am sorry, but I'm not q
paving contractor, and l don't know
what to do with the bread. ."-Aneos'|
Journal.
The largest collection of coins, 1885,.
| M hIT q