The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1888-12-05
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

In everybody's mouth-Teet
The glazier generally has o pane in his
chest.
The dressmaker's draper should ho
quick at figures.
Working like horse-A lawyer draw
ing a conversation.
Hearts may be honest, but they are
always on the beat
The rising generation-Folks getting
up in the morning.
Why is a doctor never seasick2-IIe is
used to see sickness.
Sometimes in a trade a man kicks
when there is nothing to boot
The woman question-which women
are opposed to--''lIow old are you"
It is not generally known that tho
wheels Of vehicle are tired as the horse.
A pig was never known to wash, but
a great many people have seen the pig
iron.
In a question of life and death there
are two sides to take-This side and
that side.
1t is now believed that Venus rose.
from the sea to allow the hired girl to
make the bed of the ocean. --Dctr0n FreG
Press.
"Ah," said the fly, as it crawled
around the bottle II have passed
through the Matching age, the creeping
age, and now am in the mucilage"--
then it stuck.
Customer Ito waiter)-' Some cheese,
please.n Water-''Beg pardon, sir;
very sorry, sir; cheese out, sir" Gus
tomer-"That sol When doy expect
it back i"-LDe.
The title of book which lies before
us-"Twenty Thousand Leagues Under
the Sea"-suggests that the submarine
development of the national game has
assumed the character of craze.
"Dad can tell the time without look
ing at his watch" said little Johnnie.
"When l ask him in the morning he
says it is time to get up, and when ask
him at night he says it is time to 90 to
bed. "-Aao Yorb San.
GLOW are you getting along" asked
one cyclone of another ''About ninety
miles an hour. Ilow's yourself" so,
| manage to keep things moving" an
swered Cy. No /, and blew a town into
the lake. -Detyou Free Press.
1t is said to be dangerous to attend
church when there is great gun" in
the pulpit, "mnor canon" in the
reading desk, when the bishop 'charges
the clergy" and when the choir "mur-
ders an anthem. "-DetroU Free Press.
There was confusion in the faces of
George and Matilda who sat in intimate
proximity on the sofa, as Harry entered.
Matilda was the first to recover her self
possession. She said-''We are engaged
in a little game at cards" Harry
"And Il mighty close game, too, eh"-
B0stOH TrdRScr,pt.
Robert J. Burdette recently received a
notification at Livingston, Mon, that II
dead registered letter awaited his orders
at Washington. lie sent the following
reply; "If the letter referred to isn't so
dead that it is offensive you might send
the remains to Burlington, Iowa. where
l will claim the mummy in about a
month. '-Neoo York. Post.
"Nliss Maud, " he said, IL have come
in this evening to ask you a question,
and have brought airing with me. Now,
before yuu try it on / want to tell you
that if you feel inclined to be q lister to
me l will have to take it back, as my
father objects TO my sister wearing such
large diamonds" And Maud said She
would keep the ring - Joceir's We kiy.
A inc Compliment Husband "rro-
fessor Widehead paid you very line
compliment after dinner last night, my
DEAR Wife "Oh, did he9 What did
he say" Husband "IIe said that YOU
weren't handsome, but you were one of
the most intelligent women he ever met"
Wife: Professor What's-his name has
received his last invitation from me
Time.