New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-01-02
REVISING THE TARIFFS.
nm SAGE AND STATESMAN IN COUNCIL.
oDCRsslry FOR COMPROMISE SHOWN - CATFISH
MUST Ok PROTECTED.

MUST Ok PROTECTED.
rDy TELEGRAPH 10 THE rRInuNR1
WASHINGTON, Jam H. The Post to-day de-
G1nxUa, on the highest authority" that Colonel
NH has prepared no tariff bill and does not ex-
- to offer one for some time to come. The
ozuAA b that ne finds the task more dnicult than
- expected, and he has been made to realize
Win the past week more clearly than ever be-
fOes the necessity Of compromise as basis OF
>nsiR legislation. For some days the Sage OF
Corsicana. "Tcxas-Colonel Mills-andthe " states
nan of Pine Bluff" Arlansas-Mr. breckenridge
have been in secret session at the Capitol where
they have intrenchcd themselves in the room OF
tie Ways and Means Committee. The first morn
ine they unanimously agreed to knock the TOD
ben tariff" into smithereens so to speak, ana they
stated themselves gayly to begin the pleasant ana
cengenial task.
.Now," said the Sage of Corsicana, a" 1t will
simplify our work and make IL easier II we Just
take up the dutiablc list first in alphabetical order
and strike of all articles that ought not to pay
1nty."
Agreed. said the Statesman Of Pine Biun' as
b turned up his cuffs and seized copy OF the
turin, while the Sage of Corsicana armed himself
with another copy and selected from pie Oh t0se
articles blue pencil well sharpcncd
Now cried the latter, you go ahead and
rad from your list, and will use the blue pencil
IN mine s.. -, Dino
Bluff" Stop cried the rage OF COrsicana.
Here's lot of acids. Now acids are among the
commoncst nccessaries of life. and, besides they
Materials as s sys tSs% a o
!. Agreed said the statesman OF Pine Bun,
root:
Breckenridge, had no conception Of the enormi,
ties Of this infamous tariff system Not satisfied
with taxing the food Of the half-staryed WORKING
man. they have gone still further ana laid duty
Of two cents a pound on the acOrn-the FOOD upon
which the swine Of the poor mountain farmers oil
my native Kentucky feed ~
BLUM. Thousands Of hogs in my adopted state
thrive and fatten on acorns, which are taxed at
syerv pound OF bacon costs-well. according to
the Presidents message it must cost at least iorty
cents more than it would II acorns were iree Do"n
with the acorn duty" Dr
Alum said the Statesman Of Pine Bluff.
~Clcarly a raw MATERIAL INTERCEPTED the sage
" Corsicana, who drew his blue pencil through
the item.
"Andirons,' read breckenridge; and then ne
stopped and exclaimed: Why. Mills, this thing
fairly makes my blood boil. In Arkansas andlr9ns
well, no family can live without them why,
sir. even the nggcrs have to use them, and here
they are taxed cent and quarter per pound ior
the benefit of Yankee manufacturers. IL Is III
famous, / say"
well we'll have blotted it OUT said the
Sage Of Corsicana in soothing tone Bacon
and hams. two cents per pound" ..
The >tatcsman paused, ana the sage hesi."'cu /"
moment before he said:
well breckenridge those are necessarles OF
life, and besides, you know, we have removed .ne
":sS s reckon Wen have to put bacon and
hams on the free list" =. p,o
Il reckon so,' replied the statesman Of Pine
read on and the blue pencil in the hand OF the
sage did wonderful execution. AT Last the s'a'es-
All stop there a moment- cried Mills Now.
Rrcckenridgc we'll teach the Yankee fishermen
lesson and settle this Canadian controversy a. .ne
ty anv other process-shall be hcncefoth free OF
duty" A.. c.o.osr,on ~ pine
Bluff. You are little too fast there. NILS.
What do you mean sir?' thundcred the sage
Santsss ananss Canada Sa and RS @ m
.No: but, sir, l resent the imputation: You
are too impctuous. sir. No man shall driVe INC
forget or fater in my duty 10 the state wnch
have the honor, in part to represent rctorle9
the statesman Of Pine Bluff as he cast his @ ihd
sage OF Corsicana The latter dashed his tariff
list to the floor. sprang to his feet and screamed
Explain yourself. sir No man in my presence nc
shall lightly accuse me Of seeking to cast an I'M
bputation upon him, without meeting my sI tra
Of i tSSs raas Ie sasf %s sS
leader before you knew the tariff from catfish
Catfish? That's just what l was coming to
Pine Bluff as he sprang to his feet Now sr,
will explain and you must listen and heed whao
say. if YOU desire my coop ration Co.. SIR .nc
with catfish. The waters Of the noble Arkansas
which ponrs its stately tide past the PROUD CITY
the St. Francis and the other rivers oi ARKANSAS
as well her bayous are full OF bnlihcads ana
horned pout These fish have never ENJOYED the
benefits-if such there bc-Of protective tarl1
In their behalf and in the name of the great
State which, as l before remarked, | have the
honor in part to represent / demand the lmposl-
ton OF duty OF one cent per pound. lou hear
The statesman paused The sage, who had
seated himself, fdgeted ia his chair, drummed on
the table. cleared his throat, and III persuasive
voice began:
honor your motives aud sympathize with your
interest in catfsh-but really now, don't you see
we would be accused of inconsistency II we should
impose duty on catfish? Now, put it TO you
as Free Trader Don't you agree with me 7,
mo, do not Blank the Inconsistency ten we
don't propose TO put sugar on the free list 40 we
Why not2 Wen. because we want Louisana's
vote, which is Democratic. and must agree TO a
pect the New-Epg gland vote but you do expect
and need the Arkansas vote. Well. then, agree
to compromise. Protect catfish and Arkansas
is with you. 1t is not much for her TO ask or
for YOU to grant She has nothing else to be pro
tected for her iron mines are unopened and likely
to remain So at least until assf
interjected the sage Of Corsicana. -,
YES, / know you say you are, put you VIII
not do IT, You know as well as do, that the
House will not consent TO it, and that compromise
we'll keep wool where it is. Now,let mackerel
and ali other fish be placed on the free list with
this proyiso: That OH all catfish, includinG
hornea pout. bullheads and mudpout, there sis |
be duty Of cent per pound lhat Is al
Arkansas asks"
declare this committee adjourned exclaimed
Che sage OF Corscana, he seized his hat and
Oyercoat and he bounced out OF the room' siana'
ming the door after him.
oh he'll come around. I reckon soliloquized
the statesman as he proceeded to insert the pro
yiso. Sure enoagh, after sleeping over II, the
sage of Corsic.na perceived that compromlst
was necessary, and agreed to the Arkansas pro,
yiso. Since that time the work has proceeded
merrilv and smoothly and it is said that several
hundrcd additions have been made to tue free