The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1888-11-16
WOMAN'S DEPARTMENT.
THE LAST WORD.
A Domestic War OF Words and Wit In
which the Woman Holds Her Own.


81 read a piece in the paper about
Women's Rights lately" said Uncle
Peter Elderberry, last evening. sit
was by your sister. but l can't say that
agree with it."
.1Oh, WE'LL" returned Bub. at is not
necessary that you should say so. Bel
doesn't care what any mere man may say
on the subject. It's the women she's
after"
"Of course" l explained, 'a mans
opinion on this subject can not be of SO
much importance as a woman's opinion.
] don't see that men need to give them
selves any anxiety about it"
'.YOu DON'T! exclaimed Uncle Peter,
beginning to get interested. Suppose
my wife should take notion to go sky
larking off to the polls, what should 1
do?"
II know" said Bub. You'd 60 to
work right away to stir up pancake bat
ter. That is what the husbands of
public spirited women in the funny
paragraphs always do. Then one of
your grown-up children would be made
child again just for tonight, so that
he might mingle his walls with the
buckwheat batter, and help to make it
pleasant for you"
Don't be nonsensical, Bub. What
/ want to ask Uncle Peter is this: When
women 60 to church, or market, or rail-
| o., no fol Of
and babies then? And what becomes
of these care takers when women go to
vote?"
'They expire instantly" said Bub,
''every mothers child Of them"
What / mean" said Mr.. Elderberry,
sis that these things don't take women's
minds away from their homes so much
as voting would"
| 1--we seen q mission meeting take a
woman's mind SO far from home that it
never came back again; and after she
followed her mind to heather land.
every one said what noble deed it
was. Every woman who earns her
own iving-and there are a good many
OF them in these days-must necessa-
rily have her mind taken away from
home"
"Well, now, the hand that rocks the
cradle"
''Ought to find better employment.
It is mistake to rock cradle, par
ticularly when a baby is in it. 1t
makes the poor child dazed and dizzy
| and half drunk 1t is a most IRA
tional way of putting human being to
| sleep"
Isabel" said Bub. gravely, sit is rude
to interrupt"
II beg your pardon, Uncle Peter.
You were about to say that the hand
that rocks the cradle"
"Wields the ruler" said the youngest
boy.
..Bub, who Is interrupting now? Do
you wish me to WELD the ruler in your
direction?" A playful attempt to carry
out this threat ended in my wrists being
imprisoned by a pair of. strong young
hands.
1.-The great objection to woman's vot-
ing is that she can't fight" observed
Bub. apropos of the situation. when
you have the physical strength to en-
forceslaws. you may be permitted to
take hand in making them"
''Oht then voting is matter of mere
muscle, not of intelligence and con-
science. But a great many male voters
have not the physical strength to en-
force the laws that they help to make.
Let go of my wrists. please, Bub; you
hurt them"
81 don't see." said Mr.. Elderberry,
''why you shouldn't be content with the
influence you have over your brother.
without wishing to vote also"
81 have no more influence over my
brother than he has over me. Why
shouldn't he be content with his in
huence instead of wishing to vote also?
A good influence is not neutralized by a
good vote. When l have an opinion to
express in print, ! don't influence Bub
to express it for me. Why should | do
so when | have an opinion to express at
the polls?"
well, because it doesn't seem
woman's place exactly. 1t seems to me
the women have enough to attend to at
home. or if they haven't. they ought to
have"
Yes, they have good deal to occu-
py their thoughts and time, but
not more than men. Don't you think
it would be reasonable to deprive mer-
chants of their vote because they rise
early and lie down late. and their days
are filled with cares and duties?"
NO: men like to do the rough out
side work of the world, and save the
women. 1t is the nature of good men
to like TO protect and offend women; and
I'll tell you what it is, Miss Bel. just as
quick as you bring your sex down to
the level of ours, you'll crush out all
''Chivalrous Instincts suggested
Dub.
IF you arc going into crushing the
business, Isabel, would like to recon-
mend somelemons to your notice. They
are on the dining-room table, with sugar
and water adjacent"
mo. Bub; if your chivalrous instincts
have not suggested the propriety of
your making lemonade for US. / shall
| have to bring my influence to bear on
you. A sisters influence, you know, is
a wonderful thing"
at isn't going to work miracles, +" re-
sponded Bub. Il shouldn't care, if my