Nevada County picayune., 1888-02-08
THE OLD CURMUDCEON.
Nj. Quad Writes About Curious Charac-
 ter we'll Known to Every body.

seemed 10 aCne all over tO iiidke some one unhappy! Just such all old curmudgeon was on the train the othar day when it stopped al St Thomas. and a bridal couple entered our car. We all knew il was bridal couple, because there were friends down to see them of and the bride and groom stood there and received the congraiu lations for four or five minnutes The bride looked d bit older thai | the uru0in, and the minute the old curmuGgeon noticed this he slid over and planked himself III the seat ahead of them, and after a minute of two turned and said.
 "Beg pardon, but can you tell me who's funeral that was back there!,'
 "Why, there was no funeral!' exclaimed the bride, in answer.
 "Oh! 1 thought there was,' he said in a dry, sarcastic way, and he pretended to read his paper for three or four minutes before turning again with:
 "Are you taking your sou to the seashore ma a'am?"
 "No sir. This is my husband3'
 "Oh, is it! Pd never have sus- pected it."
 Then he went on for a quarter of an hour, telling about a farm he owned in Canada, and then sud denly inquired:
 Young man, Pa like to have you and your aunt go and see the farm and make me an offer for itn
 The bridal couple turned white and let go of hand for a moment while the old curmudgeon chang ed the subject, and began to talk about Niagara Falls.
 "Ever thereW he asked.
 Both shook their heads.
 "rd advise you to stop off Ii you have time. It's a grand sight I suppose, though, you want to ar rive at the same time with the body. What did he die of, mad amp
 "I-I don't understand you.' she stampered Tn painful way.
 "Oh beg pardon, somehow got it into my head that you had been to a funeral, or was going to one, or some such thingw
 He then related the particulars of a smash up on road in which he had an arm broken and his wife killed, and added:
 "The case is in court yet, but I've lost my marriage certificate and I cant prove she was my wife and don't expect to get any dam ages. I think 1 understand you to say, ma'am, that you have been married fourteen years?"
 "Oh, no! no sir!'
 Beg pardon, but perhaps 1t is only nine or ten. What l was go- ing to say was that you ought to sacredly preserve the certificate. I suppose you have it with you"
 Bride and groom looked at each other in consternation. The doc ument hadn't been thought of in their hurry and happiness.
 "Was req ding of case the oth. CT day." placidiy continued the old wretch, "where a hotel-keeper had a couple sent to prison for two years because they could not show a marriage certificate"
 The bride turned so red that it seemed as if she would suffocate, and the groom so white that his ears looked like new plotting pads. That was the last straw. Five or six of us had been hold ing an indignation meeting few seats back, and our delegate, who had whipped his seventh man in the prize ring, now went forward and whispered in the old curmud- geon's left ear:
 Say, mister man, you let that couple alone or Pll break your neck This thing has been car ried far enoughw
 "Certainly-certainly," said old meanness. as he got up. Excuse me ma'am-and you bub-and if you should have any trouble with the corpse in Buffalo, don't fail to-.n
 The delegate chOked him of there and took him to last seat in the car and jammed him down and down and warned him to stay