Omaha daily bee., 1888-09-02
MATED AND MISMATED PAIRS.
Haps and Mishaps of the Matrimon-
ial Rattle.
MARRIED THE GRANDDAUGHTER.
Cupid vas a Printers Devil-She was
Married Too Soon--Annie's
Young Man-Can't Have
Bessie.
MARRIED THE GRANDDAUGHTER
The Modern Hamlet.

The Modern Hamlet.
Mercury,
To kiss, or not to kiss; that is the question;
Whether tits better for a man to choose
The righteousness Of untasted bliss
Or take to arms the blushing maidens,
And, by kissing, please themi To swear to
No more, and by this resolution end
The toothache, the annoyance of chapped
lips
And onions fragrance-ah it's a consumma-
Doubly to be wished. To kiss, to hug;
To hugi perchance she'll screaml Ay,
there's the rubt
For in that soulful act what ''dad' may
come
And boot us from his rented soil
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes us all Willingly virtuous;
For what wild youth would draw enjoy
ment
From a rank cigar, when he himself
Might realize it all by simply kissing?
Thus booting does not make towards OF US
all,
And thus the native homes of girllsh girls
Are guarded DER by their papas so well
That the boys become discouraged, turn
away, N1
And abandon the transaction.
Married the Granddaughter.
New York Times: A good deal of fun
is being made in the newspapers of a
rich old farmer up in the Connecticut
valley, who, in his eighty-fifth year, has
~espoused u tifteen-year-Old bride, and
VINO gives'the following account of the
hereditary courtship which has at
length resulted in this ill-assorted
match:
81 knowed her grandmam' and wanted
her, but she wouldn't see to it. She
married my bitterest enemy and had q
daughter. I courteG hatdaughter when
her folks wasn't round, but somehow
they got wind of it and I was dished
again. She went and got married and
had a daughter. Says I, Jonathan,
you'll marry this'n,' and settles down
glum-like to wait for the youngster to
grow up. Martha's folks watched me
close, and I began to suspect I'd have to
wait for the next family, when they
died---all Of them died---and Martha
was left without no relatives; SO l
popped the question and we were mar
ried."
Cupid was a Printers Devil.
New York World: Mrs. Marion For
~tescue, who was married recently to
Robert r. Roosevelt, United States
minister to the Hague, is the second
daughter of Thomas O'Shea, editor of
the Dublin Freeman's Journal, by his
llTSI vile. w men SHc WIS fourteen OF
fifteen years old she made a runaway
match with Captain Kenyon Fortescue,
who was the grandson of the late Lord
Fortescue. Captain Fortescue was
quartered at the time at Dublin with
his regiment. His family was bitterly
opposed To his marrying Miss O'Shea,
not from any fault of hers, but because
the Fortescues were rather bigoted
Professionals and the O'Sheas Roman
Catholics.
Contrary to the expectations Of their
friends, who had predicted an unhappy
ending to the elopement, the marriage
proved u most happy one. Captain
Fortescue died, leaving his wife penni-
less, with three small children to sup
port. Mrs. Fortescue, realizing the
impossibility of making a living in Ire
land, and unwilling to live upon the
bounty of her father, with admirable
pluck left home and came to the United
! States. Here she obtained emplOyment