The evening world., 1888-01-03
BILL NYE'S THINK TANK.
Painfully shocked Over n scientist's Alleged
Discovery-IIis Platform.

OF my favorite newspapers
''startinu with the idea that the hand varies
sensibly in size with the amount of blood present
In 1t AT any moment, Prof. Mosso, the Italian
psychologist, has made some most startling investl.
cations. In his first experiments the hand was
placed III a closed vessel of water, when the change
Of body or BRAN, the smallest thought or move
ment was shown by a rise or fall IN the liquid In the
on which the horizontal human body may be
poised, he hMs found that ones thoughts
may ma a be literally weighed nsi and sn6rd mat anr dreams .;uO or
her, turn the blood TO the brain sufficiently to sink
the balance al the head. When tho brain OF the
balanced person IL relaxing from thought the now
IL towards the feet, with a corresponding osclla-
ton. The investigator has continued his studies OF
the circulation until 1t seems that he may almost
read ones thoughts and sensations. A tracing
from a single pulse beat shows him whether the
person IL fasting or not; two beats serve to deter
mine whether the subject IL a thinking or u headless
one, whether asleep or awake, cold or warm, agi-
tatCd or calm. The chan ging pulse even told hin
when @ professional friend was reading Italian and
when Greek, the greater effort OF the fatter duly
affecting the blood-fow."
. The time Is certainly rapidly approaching when a
man cannot even have his thoughts to himself.
Prof. Mosso Is doing much in his mistaken and III
advised endeavors to bring this about 1t Is In our
home life especially that this new and appalling 80
called advancement In science Is being most felt
l feel justified, on behalf Of many citizens, In ASK
ing THE WORLD 10 use It's influence In calling a
halt. II has already arrived at that stage where a
large, powerful woman can call her husband aside
after evening prayers ana confront him with u
photograph that he has been unconsciously talking
nto all day, and with the aid OF a new, scientific
breath-tester, which will assay q fragment of a
mans breath in five minutes and tell at once what
ne has been drinking consecutively for twenty-four
hours, together with the %pedometer, which has
been so far perfected that when surreptitiously at
'ached to a mans leg 1t win represent every revo-
linton he has made around the billiard-table and
every time he has raped on the floor with the
butt OF his cue, no man Is safe.
l simply arise and softly ask in low, passionate
tones, whittier are we %driftingf
Now comes a man, VINO, in the name OF Science,
proceeds TO pry into the great unknowable, and
proposes to set an utomati register on the human
Think tanKl Here Is q person whose morbid curl
osity is going TO get him into trouble unless my
good right arm has forgot her cunning. The
trouble in our country Is. that when a man de-
clares himself to be a scientist we just give him the
key to the front door and tell him to help himself.
That should not be the case. Let the scientist
keep to his own legitimate field. Here we are
talking about the tarin, talking on both sides with
equal fuency, in fact, while a man IL sitting up
nights to perfect a machine which can be fitted TO
an entire congregation In Ave minutes so as to
show that many OF those who are humbly putting
up a gentle petition asking to be delivered from
pride, ~vainglory and inoTdinate desires, are really
trying to figure how to 80 map out the turkey when
they get home as to give each one of the family
some of the hight and some of the dark, or perhaps
laying out In their minds a scheme by which TO put
new running gears 10 the old gros grain, Jerk a new
pair Of sleeves into II, drape the overskirt another
way and fool the most critical member of the con-
gregAtion.
maintain that the thinker of every taxpayer in
America shnuld he sacral IN himanlf and 7 ~,
willing to go before its people on that platform In
1883.
For what did Patrick Henry speak a piece stating
that the war was inevitable, after which he gave 1t
permission 10 come? For what did Washington
cross the Delaware2 Did he do 1t simply to get on
the other side? No! He did It in order that every
American citizen might be free 10 say what he
thought, or better still, that the people Of this
country might be absolutely free TO say one thing
and think %anotherl
Away with the matter of ad valorem and specific
duties. Away with the question Of whether as a
whole we axe to be benefited or injured by tarin
reduction. Allow every local demagogue to use
the thing in his own school-district as a stuffed
club to knock the wavering into line, while we
rise and tackle the great question: Resolved, That II
Is not advisable to aid or encourage the efforts now
being made to perfect an invention or device which
in its operations Is ievelled at the inalienable rights
OF every man In religion, politics, social ethics
and all public or private matters whatever, to say
one thing and think another.
i am not an eloquent man. came from among
the common people, and / am a man Of but a few
thousand words. ! cannot construct beautiful SEN
fences, but ! can be earnest. / am a plain man, oh,
80 plain. ! am SO plain that sometimes II worries
the artist to make q caricature of me. Nature
made me so plain that l have to get up nights and
battle my features In camphor. do not deny that
| am as plain as the tin, anti-ca,erpilar overskirt
worn by the elms III Boston Common, but love
liberty. am the greatest hand for liberty that you
ever saw.
But l fear that l have already detained you too
long. Let me close by saying that ! am in favor Of
no false issues. Do not be deceived,
zens, by The clamor over this, that or
the other neighbOrhood question OF tariff, a question
which has been before every debating school and
settled pro or con by every debating school except
Congress, twenty years ago; but rise and ask that
your think be protected from foreign interference.
Insist that your infant Thinker shall not be com.
PEELED 10 compete with the old and pauper Thinks
of Europe. Above all, vote in that direction which
will insure you the right, while you live, TO preserve
in the safe deposit of your soul a comfortable opin-
ion OF your own, which 1t would not do to expose
to the nipping and eager air Of popular disapproyal
perhaps, or a tender and beautiful memory Of some
one whom the misguided multitude has sat upon.
As ] said, / am willing TO go before the people in
1855 on the platform that no man or party Of men
can ever successfully pry into or embezzle my
Think. BILL NYR.
TELEGRAPHIC NEWS In BRIEF.