The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1888-10-14
BowSER's FAMILY.
Mr.. Bouser Has 3 Boil and Makes Things
Hum for Few Days.

Is
Hum for . Few Days.
A few weeks ago when Mr.. Bowsel
found me crying with the hurt of my
soft corn, he grufny observed:
"Serves you Just right! Go and get il
cut off How long do you suppose maj
would put up with such nonsense2"
"But it would nearly kill me to havt
it cutp'
"Oh, we'll, do as you please about it
but want you to understand one thing
Mrs. Bowser, don't propose that thil
house shall be all upset just because yor
have a corn"
"Some husbands would feel sorry"
"Would they? Well, when a wife goe.
at it deliberately and willfully to cripple
herself her husband is an idiot to pity
hern'
Three or four days subsequently Mr.
Bowser came home an hour ahead o.
time. He looked pale and anxious, ani
was seriously frightened for the moment
"Is-is mother sick or dead?" I asked
as met him at the door.
81 only wish it were nothing mor'
serious"
"Look herew
He pulled down his collar and showet
me a red spot on the back of his neck
and plaintively added:
81 went to the doctors and he says i'll
boil"
"Well, I've expected it. Mr.. Bowser
YOU are the most careless man In Michi
gan. What on earth were you thinkingof?'
Careless! Thinking ofp' he roared
T x,snlal {hso sv,f
thing up on some vacant lot, or bought i
at some corner grocery"
swell, its very strange that you shouli
have a boil. You'd better have it cut of
at once. I wouldn't fool with it two
minutes"
He looked at me as If he thought II
gone crazy, and then he shut his teetl
together as if detetermined to say NJ
more about it. He stood it for two hours
and was then compelled to say:
81 suppose I'd better get this collar of
and put on poultice."
81 presume it would be good plan"
He waited half an hour more, and ther
had to give in and ask:
"Mrs. Bowser, can't you make me ,
poulticef"
made him one, and the application 81
relieved the pain for few minutes tina
he recovered his conceit. Walking t,
and fro, with his hands under his coat
tails, he said:
'Shall we go to the opera this evening
Mrs. Bowser, or is that corn of yours to-
painful"
"Are you feeling betterP''
"Better! l always feel we'll, Mrs. Bow
ser. I shouldn't have noticed this boil a
all if the doctor hadn't happened int
the office. / wish you were more of
philosopher on the subject of bcarinI
pain. You women folks are"
He stopped there and gave a jump
The momentary benefit of the warm ap
plication had passed away, and the boi
was at home again to old callers. MI
Bowser stood it about two minutes AM
then groaned.
"Any thing wrong?,.' l asked.
Wrong 2 JeHhittaker jehosaphat
but Pm half dead! Mrs. Bowser, I've go
boil! boil! boil! Do you hear me?"
"Did you happen to notice it yourselfr z
innocently asked.
He crossed over and pumped dow
into a rocking chair, and his chin begal
to quiver. When mans chin begins t.
work that way it'a time to let up on him
His grit is gone. l went over an
smoothed his bald pate, and encourage,
him to hope for the best, and in littl
time had him tucked up on the lounge
He seemed on the,point of going to sleeI
when hesuddeniy reused up and asked:
People often die with boils on tn
neck, don't theyl" -zs}sl tsg.
very seldom"
"Do you think there is any-any dan
ger in this case?"
Hardly"
He was quiet again for few minutes
and then he groaned out:
Mrs. Bowser: can't you keep tina
young 'un quiet?"
Hes only talking to himself"
"But ne wants to understand that hi
father has boil. And there goes tina
| Go tell her you'll discharge her if sh
| there was conspiracy to kill me OFF,
Next morning the boil had doubled i
size without making any further assess
ment on the stockholders, and Mr.. Bow
ser was broke in two. When l got bir
| down stairs and on the lounge in til
sitting room, his lip hung down like
grocery awning, and he feebly said:
"Just bring me little milk toast, Mr.
Bowser. twill probably be the last me,
I shall ever eatw
After breakfast he took notion to sc
the papers. Some of the reporters ha
caught on, and there was an item readin,
"BOwser'S got one on the neck. Han
on to it, old chappie-it's good for ii
system"
"Stop that paper this very day, Mrs. Bov
SCRIP he exclaimed, as he flung it down.
"But it is only q pleasant little ioke."'
Little joke! Little joke on a prom
nent citizen who is on the brink of I'll
grave, and whose loss will be a stat
calamity! Stop it, Mrs. Bowser-stop it
A neighbor-one of Mr.. Bowser's be-
friends-dropped in during the forenoo
and finding him fiat down, eagerly il
quired the cause.
"It's "a boil" family replied M
, Bowser.
"a boil! Is that all? Why, th
wouldn't keep even boy in bed for ha
an hour. Come old fellow-go with n
to look at some hogs"
When he had gone away Mr.. Bows
cautioned me that it was his diving r
quest that Smith should be neither OF
of his pall-bearers nor ride in one of Il
front hacks.
"The idea of his coming in here to il
suit helpless man," he continue
Don't speak to him after Pm gon
, Don't let our child even throw stones
his cat."
Each day for the next four or five tn
boil seemed determined to give satisfa
ton, if it didn't make a cent. 1t n
{ only continued business at the old stan
but was obliged to enlarge its quarters
accommodate the rush. Mr.. Bowser W
, as helpless as leg of mutton, and
! kept us on the trot all day and most
! the night. The doctor was up twice
! day, looking very grave and chargil