Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1888-06-30

THE nurse of the baby King of Spain
Is an heir dresser.-Pittsbaugh Chro7a-
icle- Telegraph.
The weather eye of signal service
officer has forecast in it-Ne,o Or
leans Picayune.
In Northern theaters the girls who
chew gum are rivaling the boys who eat
peanuts. -Atlanta Constitution.
The fruit of ambition is seldom so
sweet when tasted as it had been pleas
ing to the eye. -Philadelphia Call
The career of the spring chicken is
brief. It never lasts longer than till
necks tweak. Pittsburgh Chronicle.
"UNEAsY lies the head that wears the
crown" and yet some men will persist
in going to bed with their hat on
Teras Sift5ngs.
SLEEVES are not yet long enough to
laugh in, and conversation in society
is consequently still somewhat con-
strained.-Puch.
In the spring the old mans fancy turns to things
anent his health
And in liver regulators he invests his surplus
wealth.
Boston Courier
The grass isn't green enough yet to
make freshman enviOus. In fact it
is only about green enough for senior.
-Ne1C H0Uen NeaUs.
BISMARCK says: eve Germans fear
God and nothing else in the world.
Wonder that he made any exception at
alL-Teras Sifti,ags.
THE professional philanthropist is a
man who will assist any worthy person
if other people furnish the means
Ne1o Orleans Picayuae.
A COW caused a serious railroad
wreck in Iowa. In Wall street the
railroad wrecks are generally attribu-
ted to bears. Bulletin.
THE lion and the lamb may lie to-
gether, but couple of politicians can
give them nine points in the game and
then beat them. -Arcola Record.
BoBLEY-Tom, can't you lend me
your umbrella? It's raining. Gagley
Sorry. Can't go into the umbrella
trust while the stocks watered. -
Judge.
Mr.. JOB LoTT-You have forgotten
to close the safe-door, Stone? Mr..
Kirby Stone-I leave it open on pur-
pose. don't>want burglars to destroy
a $4,000 safe to get few dollars.
Puck.
IsAAC-Abe, did you hear dot Dinkel-
spiel, dot secondhand furniture man,
has married Eselbaum's widow? Abe
Yah. Isaac-Vosn't you SURPRISED?
Abe-Nein. She vos joost his line of
goods.-Judge
SHE-Do you like Browning? He
Very much. Il do not believe I shall
ever tire of him. Do you think you
ever will?" well. 1 don't know. I
used to think I'd never get tired of the
fifteen puzzle, but I did. "-Omaha
World.
"YoU must wake and call me early,
call me early, mother dear, for I'm to
be Queen of the May, mother-Pm
to be Queen of the May" "Well, my
DEAR" replied the mother, dropping
easily into prose; "but on no account
leave off your red fannels. "--Pa1ck.
STRANGER-Pardon me, sir, but I
heard you complain to a friend of a
feeling of lassitude,. which is peculiar
to this season. "Well?" II am agent
for preparation which will make you
feel like new man." what is it?"
"Dr. Balsam's Magic Potion" 20, I
guess I won't take it." "Why not?
II am DR.. Balsam the inventor of the
medicine Lincoln Journal.
MIR. CAZENovE-Of course we shall
see you at Newport this season, Mrs.
Poindexter? Mrs. Poindexter-No;
I've been thinking of Saratoga Mr..
Cazenove-But it's so awfully warm
there. Mrs. Poindexter-You forget.
MIR. Cazenove, that I passed three
years in Newport while waiting for di.
vorce papers If anything can be
warmer than that I'd like to know it
.T1yd0e