Waterbury evening Democrat., 1888-08-06
 FULL OF FUN.

A Pennsylvania schoolboy defined 'barnac1e" as "a tramp who sleeps in the barn."I dsSASM
 A young lady fin Philadelphia is said to have had five lovers, all named Samuel. Her photograph album must be a book of Sams.-Drake's Magdztse. . Mrs. Dumley-'Out of nine chil- dren the only one now living Is Cousin Kate.a MT. Dumley-''Cousin Kate. the dressmakerP" Mrs. Dumley- "Yesr" Mir. DumleyA"Well, that's all right. Survival of the fittest you know. ."-Judge.
 -Teaeher-''What are the names of the seven days in the week?" Boy Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Thurs day, Friday, Saturday." That's only six days. You've missed one. Winch does your mother go to churph?" When pa buys ben new hat 7-huqs Sytiags.
 Miss Breezy (who has had little quarrel with hey bosom friend -"Well. you must admit, Clara, that I play the piano more skillfully than you do." Miss Wabash (frankly)-''Yes, do acknowledge that you can strike an octave with much the greater ease and certainty. ."-Epoch. '
 -''1t can't be possible, Bobby" said his mother, that you have been wick ed enough to eat that whole rhubarb pie in the closetp" ''Yes, ma; the doctor told you, you know, that my system needed rhubarb, an thought I'd better get good dose of it down me before 1 got any worse. ."-N. F. Sun.
 -Absent-minded Business Man to Office Boy-"William, go up to my house and tell Mrs. Jones l have again forgotten my watch. Bring it back with you" He pulls out his watch and continues: ''Now, William, it is nine o'clock, be back at ten. The Farmer.
 -"Why, bless your heart, Erasmus, dis yere foEgraf ain't like you no how. It makes yere look ten y'ars older dan you is." "Dat's all right, honey, I needn't git annoder tooken for de nex' ten y'ars. See!''-Detroit Free Press.
 Mir. McDude-"What a wonderful thing is space, Miss Ethel! The im- ;mensity of it quite fills my brain. " Miss Ethel (sarcastically)-"So l should imagine. MT. McDude, from the nature of your conversation. And blizzard stood between them during the remainder of the voyage.-Ooean.
 A little Auburn boy who looks after his grandfather's cupsidor for 8 moderate salary, offers this philoso, phy: When grow up I shall chew tobacco, and have my little boy look after the cuspidor. Then he will not chew. .n-LeWtston Journal.
 .-Mother-'!You, Isaiah, didn' tole you not for to go outen dat gateP' 'Isaiah-'I didn' do it, nanny, deed I didn'." Mother-''Den how you come playin' in de street when tole you not go outen the gate7" Isaiah 1T climbed ober de fence. .n7rHarpeT' Toung People
 First Tramp-''WeiL how muct did ye get out of the fellyP" Second iTramp-"Faix, only enough for me .silf." First Tramp-"And Is this de way yer stand in wid. me, MickeyP' Second Tramp-''Surer all Of got was a kick. Ye can take yer share of tha if ye want t."-LJe.
 : You seem thoughtful this even ing, Bobby" said the minister, wht twas making & call. "Mr Goodman inquired Bobby, rousing himself ;"what is vocabularyg The minis ter kindly told him. II heard it thi: morning." Bobby explained, land didn't know what 1t meant Ma saie she had no idea what vocabulary ps had until she heard him taking dowl the parlor stowe. ."-Harper's Bazar.