Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1888-04-29

Therefore 81 enry IN FULL DRESS
had me measured, upholstered and draped
with a swallow-tan coat that had very little
warmth to it and which always made me
feel like hunting up table to wait on.
Later on had sample case made to con-
| tain this suit, and began to hold myself IN
readiness to answer calls, hoping to mingle
| of and on with the giddy throng where
pleasure directs one to rove.
My custom is to check this dressing-case
from my residence to the ferry or depot
when am about to attend an aggregation
OF talent anywhere outside the city, or, if
within the city limits, check the catafalque
containing these clothes to an hotel near
where the orgies are to be held. Irely, there
fore, largely upon the baggage express COM
panies of this city have been engaged in
more or less revelry during all the time I
have owned that suit of clothes, and yet |
have only worn it twice-once when / car
ried it to the dinner done up in newspa-
per and slipped it on behind the storn-door
while the guests were eating their Blue
Points, and once when wore it all the day
before so that / would have it on in the
evening.
Sometimes l have worn the dress-suit Of
the landlord at the hotel where stopped.
On the 1.-the and willowy, long -waisted plan,
running very little TO digestion and largely
to brain, but where the landlord is In the
habit of taking his meals outside the hotel,
and is therefore in pretty good condition,
bis clothes do not fit me.
1t therefore happens, I find, that the
tournure of borrowed swallow-tal coat
may be normal or it may be worn high and
t,1% 81 II =.
to the bosom of the coat When you borrow
dress suit you are at the mercy Of every
man from whom you borrow. Some land
lords are pigeon breasted. while others start
cd out to be such, but afterwards decidedt 10
wear it lower down. Some have shoulder
that Is higher on one side than on the other,
having been sweenied,n as we used to say
in the college where l had the chair of vet
Urinary surgery for several years.
Wearing, as l have, the 1ress-suits Of so
many men eminent not only as landlords
but in letters and n almost every walk of
life, | can truly say that man is certainly
fearfully and wonderfully made For this
reason now carry with me, not daring TO
intrust it to the express companies, firpil-
low which insert int my borrowed clothes
wherever they seem to sag.
A>atGic AsiS pVpiAS III cPaACN liz Aoi veal
ing the clothes Of the average man, for TO
be perfectly frank with the gentle reader,
run largely to Joints. Providence saw fit
to deny me the plump and dimpled form of
the prosperous high-hver, and to endow me
with a galoxy OF kruckles and vertehre
which tel palmer than words that the paper
I started In Wyoming did not pay.
! know that am wandering. but so is my
has I
each Of which has worn ny clothes. charged
me 81 GO and returned them after ! did not
need them wondered then if had been
sought out and selected as special victim,
and asked a good many friends Of mine
who had a right to consideration, but they
had al gone through IL and they are stiIl
going through it.
One man said he had never been able to
go TO any fu,l-dress doings with his wife be-
cause when her trunk got there bis did not.
and vice vesa. Another friend told me that
he had appeared before an audience here
once IL . swailow-tail coat, fur vest and a
pair Of salsna trousers, and once il blue
and white blazer, bro2dcloth low-cut vest,
and pair Of knickerbockers, while the ex-
press company had his baggage down at
Castle Garden or up ST the Forty-secoad
street depot, he could not tell which
After had heard frsm all MY acqcaint-
aaces, found that / had bee2 singularly
fortunate. l sm more or less apt to take
things philosophNaily, and looking back
over the past | can see that might have
been worse Of. Tvrce l found landlord I
of my si1e, and more especially the Landlord 4
OF Lafayette Hotel, in Philadelphia he IS +
noted for his symmetry OF figure, aad his /
clothes ft ne exactly. People who come 10
Philadelphia look 81 the park and then they /.
80 10 see Mr.. Maltsy. Tai. L,he. graceful .
and urbane, he rivets the ere Of every esle 4
desiring to have his eye rive;e1 IN such 8
way that it will remain SO. lie Is manly 4
nan. 8 genial landlord and his rates are /
moderate
/ also found 6 ccstuner IN Boston who 4
came pretty nigh fitting ne with coat i
wish knew his name 80 that coaid give il /
10 the weird. but. alas 1 have forgotten i.
People who noticed Il from the orcAessra
said 1t d,iad ne yeSy. vel froullle 10 !