The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1888-02-22
ARMSTRONG'S LESSON.

camp on Yuba River there lived queer
genious named Armstrong. He was an
honest miner, not differing materially
from his fellows, excepting that he had
curious habit of talking to himself.
From the simple reason that he depal ted
from the common custom in this one par.
t.cular he was OF course voted crazy by
the other miners. To call all persons
"crazy" who do not follow the customs
OF the ma ority is a constant habit with
men. But day after day Armstrong
| worked away with his p ok and shovel,
caring nothing Tor the remarks of his
neighbors, and seeming to wish for no
partner in his tolls or rest save the in.
visible parsonage whom he always ad .
dressed in the second person singular,
and with whom he was almost in close
and earnest conversation. The drift of
his talk while at work would be as fol-
lows:
'Rather tough work, k,Armstrong-rich
dirt, though-grub 81 a pound-no
time to waste-pitch in, sir-hanged if
don't wish was in the States. This
INNINGS mighty hard work Nonsense.
Armstrong; what fool you are to be
talking that way, with three ounces a
day right under your feet, and nothing
to do but Just to dig it out"
His conversation would be duly pune
tuated with strokes of the pick and lifts
of the loaded shovel And so the days
would pass along. and Armstrong worked
and slept and talked with his invisible
partner. Well, it happened in due course
oil tine that the class O human vampires
commonly called gamb ers made their
appearance at the camp where Armstrong
had been working. As he was not above
fol owing the example of his fellows, he
paid the newcomers visit. 1t is the same
old story After watching the gam
awhile he concluded it was the simplest
thing in the world. So he tried his luck
and won-$l00l Now, any new ex-
perience would set Armstrong to think
ing and talking to himself worse than
ever. 1t was 50 this time. Now, Arm
strong, he said, as he hesitated about
go ng TO work the next mo. ming, "that
is the easiest 81 0 you ever made in your
life. What's the use of your going into
a hole in the ground TO dig for three
oun es dayl The fact is, Armstrong,
you are sharp. You are not made for this
kino OF WORK. Suppose you Just throw
away your pix and shovel, lea the
mines, buy SUIT of store clothes, dress
up like born gentleman, and go at some
bus.uess that suit your talent"
Armstrong was not long in putting
these thoughts and sayings into action.
He left the diggings and invested in fine
clothes. He looked like another man,
but he was still the same Armstrong.
neve. theless. He was not long in finding
an opportunity 10 try a new profession.
Walking forth in his fresh outfit he had
Just concluded long talk with himself
about his bris hit prospects when he
matted In front OF a large tent W tn a sign
over it: Miners Rest" Armstrong went
IN. IL did not seem to him that he re
mained very long but it was loug enough
to work wonderful revolution in his
feelings. When he came out he was
changed man-that is to say, he was a
'changeless" man. He was thunder
struck, amazed, bewildered. He had lost
his money, lost his new prospect lost his
Sc -conceit-l st everything but his new
clothes and habit of taking to himself.
1t is useless to say that he was mad.
Armstrong was very mad. But there was
no one 20 be ma at but Armstrong him
sci So self number two was in for rough
lecture.
"Now, Armstrong, you are q nice
spec men-you fool-you bilk--you dead
beat-you inf" Well, / need not re-
peat ali the hard thing he said. Like
King Richard, he "found within himself
no pity for himself"
But mere words were not sufficient
1t was a time for action. But Armstrong
ne er once thought of drowning, shoot
ing, hanging or any other form of suicide
He was altogether too original, as well
as too sensible for that Yet he was re-
solved on something real and pract cal in
the way of reformatory punishment. He
felt the need of a self-imposed decree of |
bankruptcy that should render the failure |
IS complete as possible, and prevent
similar course in the future.
So the broken firm OF Armstrong d /
Self" went forth in med tation long aud 1
deep Some of his thoughts were almost |
too deep for utterance. But finally he |
stood by the dusty road along which the I
great freighting wagons were hauling |
suppl es 10 the mining camp up the Sacra- |
mento. One of these wagons, drawn by .
SIX yoke of oxen, was Just passing. /
Snap, snap snap, in slow irregular success [
sion, came the keen, sting reports of the |
long Missouri OK whip, - lang g'lang
wo-haw shouted the tall, dust be
grimed driver, as he swung his whip and
cast sidelong glance at the broken firm,
"What all them store clothes
was doin' thar Now, when Arm
strong saw the long column of white
1ust rising behind that wagon he was
taken with an idea So he shouted 10 the
driver to know if he might be allowed to
walk in the road behind the wagon.
'Get in and ride, said the driver.
NO" said Armstrong, Il wish to
walk.
Then walk, you crazy fool, was the
accommodating response as the driver
'wung his whip.
Then came the tug of war Greek
lever met Greek more iercely than did
he two eonteAaing spirits composing
he firm Of ArmStrong & Self at that
particular moment.
How, Armstrong" said the impe.
'ious head of the fFm, you git night