Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-01-21
DIV lliIinO".

William l.. Marcy, Secretary of State
during the administration of President
Pierce, had dry humor in which he
often INDUCED, though he seldom
laughed. A lawyer of Richmond, Va,
Mr.. r. G.. Scott, applied for the con-
sulship at Rio de Janeiro. The place
had been promised him, but the nomin
alton was delayed so long that Mr..
Scott, becoming impatient, visited
Washington to see what caused his APP
pointment to "hang fire" Calling on
Mr.. Marcy, he frankly said that he was
embarrassed by the I'M ertainty and
tired of the delay, and wished to be
plainly told what lie might expect.
"Mr. S Off," said the Secretary, in q
dry. hard tone, "for every bough of the
top OF the tree of experimentation the
mission plenipotcntiary for example
there are about one hundred applicants;
for the middle boughs, the secretaries
of legation, there are about three hun
bred applicants, and for the lower
limbs Of the consulship there are about
one thousand applicants.
Those holding on to the uppel
6Jughs expect, if they fail, to catch
upon the boughs of the secretaries, and
those disappointed in obtaining them
hope to catch ON the limbs of consul
ships.
"For the place o. plenipotentiary b 1t
one of the hundred can be appointed,
and the ninety and nine falling upon
the next boughs increase the number of
applicants to $50. For the latter, but
one can be appointed, and thus 39S fall
upon the consulships, increasing the
number OF applicants to 1898. You
can, therefore, calculate your chances
for the consulship at Rio"
"Ihen, sir" answered the astonshe0
and dismayed Scott, 81 may as we'll &c
home to my clients, and quit the bust
ness of otlice-begging" and he rose tt
| his feet.
"But. Mr.. Scott" resumed Mr.. Mar
CIV, motioning to him to resume his seat
Il have advised the President that the
failure to obtain tie higher Office
should not give a lien on the love-
Office, thus your chance will remain a.
one to thousand only for consul
ship"
swell, that chance is not worth wa t
ing for, and I'll go home" said Scott.
"When you do, answered the Score
tary, with twinkle of his eye, "go ant
prepare for your passage to Rio, TO
your appointment is already determined
upon"
Then the Secretary's fat sides shool
with his enjoyment of SCOTS Joyful
surprise.
OF ever | get married in a church agair
YOU can call me a goat" sail bashfu
man the other day. What's the MATE
now" "Matter enough" he retorted. ant
he seemed to get angry as he thought of 1t
Il was married not long ago, and as IN.
wife's parents were pillars OF the church
had TO come off there, so they thought
Well, some repairs were being made in tn
church, so the marriage took place in tn
/ Sunday school room. There's where TIL
whole trouble came in. We stood on th
platform where the Superintendent desl
stood, and before the minister got started
I noticed great many people smiling IL
the audience. | didn't know what to max
of it. They all seemed TO be looking owe
my head. l noyer said anything till tn
thing was done, then | turned round an
looked up. What do you think saw
One of those coufoundcd notices hangin
right over our heads, and it said, SUITE
little children TO come unto me-. Isn't tina
enough TO make q man ru@rv?"
INDIGENr young man--"l would respect
fully asl, your daughters hand in marriage
SIR" Rich father in indignant SURPRISED
what You want to marry my daughter?
INDECENT young man somewhat Hurried -
"Y-ycs, sir. W-wEy not? You don't knor
anything wrong with her. do your"