The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1888-11-24

III IL nuu nOl Dccn lpT tlleir HOuoN
party this time last year we should
never have met and married."
Bridegroom OF ditto--"Nonsence,
my dear they didn't mean any
HARM"
A law was it force i'm England
in the year 1870 to the effect that
"whosoever shall entice into the
bonds of matrimony any male sub
iect of his Majesty by means of
rouge, white paint, Spanish cotton,
steel corsets, crinoIine, high heeled
shoes or false hips shall be prose-
cuted for wichcraft, and the mar
riage declared null and void"
You admit killing the deceased,
do you?
Yes, sir; 1 blew his whole head
off
Inhuman monster! State the
circumstances.
Well, he came TO my drug store
at O'Clock in the morning, and
rang the night-bell repeatedly. |
finally woke up and went to the
door What do you suppose he
wanted?
Probably it was a case of life or
death.
He wanted to have a look ut the
directory.
[TNe accused is promptly dis
chdrged.l
a young man from the rural dis
tricts staggered out Of saloon in
Amcricus, Ga, one night and wend-
ed his weary way along the street.
CHANGING to look up he saw the big
Illuminated clock ON the county
court house for the first time.
Selling the lamp-post he regare-
ed ii intently for several moments
as if to be certain that he was not
asleep, and finally said: "Well II
(hic) sYar! Ish sheen heap or (hic)
moons, but--if ever (hic) siren
one with Figures round er rim
fore and legs on it"
Miss Bluestocking jagged 30):
have sent you dozen ofmy papers
within the last year and you have
returned every one of them, l call
ed to ask what is the matter with
them.
Magazine Editor (kindly): My
dear young lady, the great French
critic, Renan, says it is i-'possible
for any one to write well before
the age OF forty.
Oh, | see, L viii send some new |
ones in about twenty years.
Tenderfoot (to Dakota hotel pro-
prietor)-You say you say your
charges are So per day without or
~ per day with potatoes? think
those rates are ridiculous and eX-
horhitant.
Proprietor with one hand on Il
gun and pointing out of the window
to ii private cemetery with the
Other-There are Il number of
gentlemen out there as held the
same views ut first, but they be-
came reconciled.
Study Farmer: Wan'ter marry
my darter, eh? Wall, what hev ye
rot ter support with?
Impecunious Youth: admit sir,
hat | am meaggerIy supplied with
his worlds goods; but think Of my
amiiy connections. We have one
If the finest genealogical trees in
he country.
Study Farmer: Huh; Won't
Keep a family in fir e-wood morn
5hree weeks.
Minister (consoling Mormon
.lder over the death of his wife.)
sympathize with you deeply, Mr..
in your sad afiliction.
Mormon Elder-Ah, yes, its hard
IS hard.
Still' it isn't as bad as if you er ]
My had one, you know.
Dickie-What are you crying for
5obbie?
Bobbie-To-morroW is my birth
ay. Pm going to have chicken,
ickled oysters, lemonade, jelly,
cecream and watermelon, for
inner, and LIN crying when |
hink Of the awful colics III have 4
)-morrow night.
"What are you here for" | asked
+ colored man in Jail at Hunts .
ilie, Ala. :,
"Stealin' pig, sah." =,
"But you knew better than to
-eal."
"I'll know better next time, sab.
won't steal muffin dat will squeal =,
n me-" :,