davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-17
NUMBER H.
Manifold Knowledge.

John Calvin, the first title i'm Vol.
VII. of Aldcn's Manifold Cyclo.
pedia, occupies seven pages, aud
Ccvennes, the last title. the name of
the chief mountain range in the
South OF France, is given merely
one page. Between these there are
over 600 pages, including consider.
ably over 100 illustrations. devoted
to topics in every department of
human knowledge, for instance:
Calw, manufacturing town in
Wuriemberg, II lines space; Calyso.
IN Greeian legend, 9 lines: Calyx (in
bo,any), 30 lines; Cam "a rivcr), O
lines; Camaldoli,cs Ga religious or.
dor), 10 lines; Cambridgc Univcr.
sity, 81 pages; Cambyscs (King
OF the Nledes), half page; Camel
(quadruped), 3 pages; Camera Gin
ophes), 3 pages; Canada. s pages;
Canal, 3 pages; Cancer, 4 pages;
Carboniicrcous System (in ceolo.
gy), 3 pages; Cards (playing), 4
pages; Carpentry (io iIlustrations).
5 pages; Catalectic lin poc,ry)
lines, and so on. These few spcci.
mems indicate the wonderful variety
and comprcbcnslvencss of the
knowledge embraced within the
scope of the work. Itis an ordinary
Cyclopcdia of Universal Knowi.
edge, and an Unabridged Dictionary
OF Language in one, the editorial
work being in skillful hands, the
mechanical work, paper, printing
and binding, all that one can rca.
sonnbly wish, the form convenient
beyond all precedent in words of
reference, and the cost so trivial as
TO astonish even those who have
been familiar with the remarkable
accomplishments Of Aldcn's Litter.
airy Revolution" IL is probably
better than any other CycIopedis
or Dictionary adapted to popular
use. The publisher sends specimen
pages free to any applicant, or spec.
linen volumes, which may be re-
turned, bound in cloth for 90 cents:
or halt Morocco 6s cents; postage
10 cents. John B. Alden, Publish.
er, .593 Pearl St. New York; or
2IS Clark ST, Chicago.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-17
Several Kinds of CfrIs.

A good girl to have-Sal Walton.
a disagreeable girl-Annie Mos.
ity.
a fighting girl-Hattie Maginn.
a sweet girl Carrie Mel.
a very pleasant girl--Jennie
Rosity.
a sick girl--Sallie Vate.
a tall girl-Ella Walton.
A musical girl-Ssrah Made.
a profound girl-Meta Physics.
a clinging girl--Jessie Mine.
a nervous girl-1Iester Ical.
a muscular giri-Cslle Sthemics
a sad Mortie Fy.
a great big girl--Ella Phant.
A warlike girl-Millie Tary.
a splendid girl-Mag Nificent.
A fraudulent girl-Em Bezzle.
One Of the best girls-Ella Cant
An uncertain girl--Eva Nescent.
The best girl of aIl-YOur Own.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-17
The Newspaper Law.

The following is the law as it
stands relating to newspapers and
subscriptions:
/. Subscribers who do not give
express notice to the contrary are
considered wishing to continue their
Subscriptions.
2. Any person who takes pa.
per regularly from the post Office,
whether directed in his name or
another's, or whether he had SUBJ
scribedor not, irresponsible for pay
ment.
I. II a person orders his paper
discontinued he must pay arrears,
or the publisher may continue to
send it until payment is made, and
then collect the whole amount
whether the paper is taken from the
post-ofiice or not.
4. The courts have decided that
refusing to take newspapers or pc
riodcals from the post office, or re-
moving and leaving them uncalled
for, isprimd fdcie evidence of inten-
tlonal fraud.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-17
Loneliness.

The waning moon was up; the star,
Were faint and very few;
The vines about the window sill
Were wet with falling dew.
A little cloud before the wind
Was drifting down the west;
heard the moauing of the sea
In its unquiet rest.
Until, / know not from what grief,
Or thought Of other years,
The hand | leaned upon was cold,
And wet with falling tears.
OUorland MonthLv.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-17

They Will Take Him just to Use
Him.

lfthcy think so much Of Thurman
Why not give him the first place
Perhaps the red bandanna
Might help to win the race.
IL the noblest Of the Romans
Is any good at all,
He should lead the first cotillon
AT the Democratic ball.
They will take him just to use him,
As they've often done before.
And they'll shake him and abuse him
1T he slips upon the floor.
They have overlooked old Thurman
Until he's most too ripe,
And they've just discovered virtue in
His red bandanna wipe
-Chicdgo Nail.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-17


At grand Fourth Of July cele-
bration in Washington, Ind, for the
afternoon speeches a son OF the
Emerald Isle was called out, and
said: ITO make good Fourth OF
July speech, an American must have
had good dinner, a Dutchman a
taste of lager, and an Irishman plen
ty Of whisky. As have had none.
don't feel disappointment at this
speech"
Another Irishmsn in the audience,
hearing the playful introduction 10y
the speaker, said:
"Bc COB an he shan't wait long
for it. I've hottie Of whisky
here" and started for the speakers
stand.
"Iold on, Mike" said a bystand
er, "don't do that. lie is a preach
er."
Preacher is IL; an what Nv IL:
Would you have good Fourth OF
July spach split intirely for want NV
a drink Faith an he shall hev il,
sur. ."--Detr0u free press.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-17

0t04q N Rcwarded are those who read this
HII.AI.t aud then act: they Will md honor
8h6 \ able employment that will not
take them from their homes aud
families The profits are large and sure for
every industrious person; many have made
and are now making several hundred dollars
a month. II is easy for any one to make S.
and upwards per day. who Is willing To work.
Either sex young or old; capital not needed:
We start you. Everything new. No special
ABILITY required; you, reader. can do u ns
well As any one. Write To us at once for full
particulars, which We mail free. Address
SrIrsoE 4 Co. Portland, Maine. pDiy
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-17
One More Disappointment.
Nebraska state Journal.

Nebraska State Journal.
Employer-"William, you have
now worked for me three years"
"Ies, sir"
"And j have always found you
industrious, pains-taking and hon
est"
81 have tried to be sir"
"Now, desire to show that ap.
preciatc your fidelity"
THANK you, sir"
"For the next two months you
will work on the books until II
O'Clock every night. do not fear
TO leave you in the office alone at all.
| have great deal Of confidence in
you, William"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-17

Little Johnnie was taken in 10 sec
his new baby brother. After a
good look at him he asked: "Did
baby come from heaven, mammai"
'Yes, Johnnie; God sent the little
dear to us"
well, said Master Johnnie, af-
ter another inspection Of the round,
bald head, 81 wonder what kind of
barber they've got up there. He's
given him a pretty close cut, /
ink."-DetrOn Free Press.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-17

Bill Arp says: IL have long ob.
served that If a little town has the
good fortune to have a leader in
whom the citizens have confidence,
II will go ahead, but where there is
none and the people do not work
together bat some pull haw and
some gee, and some pull back and
some don't pull at all, and ali want
10 ride, IL makes no progress"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-17

Hah-skin gay goh-lah, the a pache
who has just been taken 10 the Ohio
Penitentiary to serve an rs years
sentence for murder, has been put
to work with thread and needle
patching prison garments. He says
he "nO llkee squaw work"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-17
The Sole Survivor.

Detroit Free Press.
There might have been fifty of us
in the waiting room at the Erie
Railway Depot ut Buffalo when a
young man, dressed as sailor and
having n serious cast of fcountcnancc,
entered and began to solicit aims on
the strength of having been wrecked
and losing his all. Indeed, he came
near losing his life, being the sole
survivor OF "A crew Of eight men
Quarters and halves were clipped
in with bountiful hands, but before
ehipped | felt it my duty to inquire
What wreck was this?'
SCHOONER Blazing Star, sir" he
replied.
That's just like some folks!" ex-
claimed very pompous little man
with a very high collar on. "They
can't part with nickle without
wanting to know all about it,"
when did the wreck occuri" ]
asked of the sailor.
"Ten days ago"
at makes heap OF difference
whether it occurred ten or eleven or
nine days ago!" snecred pomposity
as he walked around.
"On what lakei" continued.
"Lake-Lake Erie, SIR
Don't you want to know the cx.
act spot to foot?" snecrcd pompos.
iiy, raising his voice so as TO get a
crowd around.
"Where was your schooner
boundi"
"From-from Clcveland-to
Pittsburgh" answered the sailor as
he shifted about.
Are you sure!"
"Of course ] am"
"Hear himW shouted pomposity.
ain order to save a quarter he wants
to make out that the poor man is a
liarw
The sailor slid out without wait
ing for any more contributions, and
! asked pomposity to step aside
with me.
"Why, Of course" he replied,
though man who won't chip in
to Cnaiity - always an OBJECT OF
suspicion"
Where did he say tho schooner
was boundS" | quericd as we
walked away.
From Cleveland to Pittsburgh,
sir"
Are you sure Of III"
"Of course am"
"Well, tell me how much dry
land she would have to sail over"
He stopped dead still, opened his
mouth, rolled his eyes and removed
his hat The case slowly dawned
upon him, and as he grasped the
facts he seemed 10 wilt away like a
cabbage leaf When he could wilt
no further he pleadingly said:
Kick me hardl Kick with
both feet at oncel Kick me all the
afternoon and far into night, and IL
there is anything left Of me when
you get through sell il for old Junk
and make the price very lowi"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-17

Patron--'I wonder why beard
doesn grow on my face"
Barber--''I don't know. Perhaps
the cause is hereditary"
Il don't think so. Ny father had
a magnificent beard"
perhaps so, but your mother
hadn't ] knew her well lin
coin Journal.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-17
Rasss Or Aavertisang.

IrcGit per line ..-..-- -...-......... II
10 regular advertisers. ............ ......
He,ular advertisements. OF more than hal,
scolumn. quarterly In advance
Transient sdvertiscnicnts IN advance.
Tho Advance is tho medium through
vh.sh Advertiscrs can roach the peo.
pie " Wayne County.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-17

AGO way ! want rest" said the
tramp to the policeman who had
awakened him from a delightful
siesta on one Of the park benches.
"All right" said the cop, "In give
you arrest, and he ran the loafer
into the station house -Haptford
Journal.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-17

II cost the Emperor OF Austria
5000 900 TO entertain the Car Of
Russia Tor three days. The prices
al the Hotel Hapsburg are evident.
" - high as anything we know Of
IN this country, if not higher.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-17

pa, what do hunters always take
bottle OF whisky along forl"
20, for snake bites. my SON."
"Well. then, fishers they take il
along for fish bites, don't theyf"
30, er--1 guess so"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-17

EausOnice-''Do you know. Miss
Fairly, that song YOU have Just sung
always carries me away
Miss Fairly with iervent sigh)
-"Ob, how / wish IL ouldg'
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-17

When a young lady gets married
her father or some relative generally
gives her away, bot when the court.
ship is in progress the younger
brother frequently manages 20 do il.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-17

A woman with two tongues has
been discovered in Alabama. She
became a widow at a very tender
age.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-17
JSk RPfutinI.

Allkinds CT Job Printing done WITH uea,
s,'' -ni d spstcA. aud at prices zs low - can
" sfO dcd.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-17
OHIO RIVER r. z.
TIME TABLE.
III. w. FULLER,
OeB'l Pass'r Agt.

Taking effect May n. 1885. Passenger traiss
will run ~ follows Central Time. a n trains
daily except those marked thus I which do
not run on Sunday:
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-17

II takes eighty.four Of our years
to make one year~on Uranus.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-17

Visi,or--"Is your mother IN 10.
day, my boyF
Candid child -"No. SIR, she's do.
ing mp preserves. Nee HavsR
Nelos.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-17
Atthe Sensible.

He-"lt IS charming on the water
to-day; let US take a sail. What
sort Of a craft would you prefcr1"
She--"I think a smack would be
just too lovely for anything"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-17

Remember, Bridget" said Miss
Clara, "that ! am out TO everybody
but Mr.. Sampson"
A little later Bridget answered a
ring az the door.
Who was il, Bridget" asked
Miss Clara.
Young Misther Beaunacamp,
mum"
And did you say that / was
ohtf"
Yes; ] sed yez were out 10 iyery-
body but Misther Sampson. ~
y. Sun.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-17

Theodore L. Hallam, the Coving
ton lawyer who was Speaker Car.
isles counsel in the Thoebc contest.
is the only man in the United States
who has an official, not to- say legal
right TO the title Of Mister. When
Proctor Knott was elected Cover.
nor OF Kentucky he wrote To Hal.
lam that he would like very much
to make him a member of his militia.
ry staff, with the title of Colonel.
IIsllam wrote back that he was
obliged To him, but thought there
were too many Colonies in Ken.
tucky already; however, he would
like very much to be on Knott's
staff, and if Knott could appoint
him as plain Mister he would very
gladly accept. BY return mail he
got his commission as plain "Mis.
ter on the Governors staff, n doc.
ument which now hangs in band.
some frame on the wall Of his office
1t was Hallam, who, meeting pom.
pous Judge l1ogg of West Virgin
ia, resolved to take him down "a
peg or two. He had his chance
when Hogg asked him whether he
had ever read "IIallam's Commen-
taries." ooh, YES" said Hallam, 81
wrote them" "Then you're the
original Hallami" inquired Hogg
Yes" said Hallam; "and may
inquire whether you are the origi-
nal hog"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-17

Spor,-"Is your fadef living, son.
nyf
Boy dunno if my daddy is OF
no, bot my step daddy is."-Neso
York GrGphic.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-17
The Ceredo Advance.
Republican paper published every Friday
BY
II. nGcDcuxa,
cEREoo. w. VA
1rnns OF sr..cn,rr1en.

A.. copy. one year ~ 10. II paid at the time
~ .au,e Is entered In suit tscrirtion books
Amer ~ days, SIS per year rin be charged
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-17
What They Said.

txcnnugc.
The constant repetition of "says
he" or says l." in telling a story. is
one nniailing token OF the speakers
ignorance. The habit seems to rise
from the effort of an unframed mind
to attain vigor of utterancc. and its
result may bc called the historical
present of the vulgar. Here is a
literal specimen, taken from the lips
ola woman who, leaning over the
fence in morning disarray, was giving
her most intimate ncighbor an &C.
count of a family quarrel:
And saws she, I'm do Just es I've
mind To about it"
"'No, you won't says |, mot i'm
my house says |. I'm treat
you well while you're here, but
you've got to treat me tho same,
says l."
Then Jim he spoke up. Nan.
ey, says he, don't you say nothin
you'll be sorry for, says he"
mo- says |, Il won't, but IN
speak the plain truth in my own
house, and nobody shan't stop me -"
And so the dramatic recital went
on.
II is said that in certain novel.
popular years ago, the heroine
burst into tears, IN the course Of the
story, over a hundred times by actual
count. Had a person of an exact
turn of mind been present at the in.
terview in question, he would
doubtless have been able to report
an astonishing number of "says Is"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1888-09-20
THE PROHIBITION VOTE.

Oregon, Vermont and Maine have
held their State elections, and the Dem
ocrats should not blind their eyes to the
fact that instead of there being heavy
temperance vote, there was general and
very marked falling off in that vote in
all of these States. The Republican
platform declares for free rum, and the
party's chief campaign orator, Col. In
gersoll, says there would be no more
drunkenness if the Mississippi ran
whisky over bed of sugar, between
banks of mint and the bushes grew
tumblers, and yet the Prohibitionists
desert their own organization and prin-
ciples, and rush back into the ranks Of
the Republican anti-temperance party
They have done this in the three States
named, which is an indication that
they will do the same in the other
States. Democrats have been counting
on the Republican vote being lessened
by an increased Prohibition vote. 1t
may be that they have been reckoning
without knowledge of the facts. A de-
creased Prohibition vote in New York
and Indiana would endanger these
States, and unless General Fisk, the
cold water candidate, shall keep his
batty Up to its full strength in his own
State, New Jersey also will be very close.
In the light of the conduct and tendency
of the temperance people in this cam
paign the Democrats will be wise to re-
wise the calculations which have been
based on the probable Prohibition vote.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1888-09-20
BAD JOURNALISM.

The Pocatello Reporter says: lone of
this section told Reporter representa-
tive the other day that whenever the
Republican party of Idaho treated the
Mormon Church as well as the Demo-
Gratis did, then he had no doubt they
would affiliate with that party Just as
readily as with the Democrats. The
hint conveyed is entirely plain" Now,
either the Mormon referred to was not
conscientious, or the Reporter man
lied. We are inclined to believe the
latter is the case, and shall continue to
so believe until the newspaper names
the Mormon who conveyed the "hint."
Our contemporary should understand
that it is not reputable journalism to
| make statements of this character on
the authority of invisible and inde6-
mite persons, aer Is it journalism that
will have a tendency to Increase the
popular respect for the editor. People
Ell persist in thinking the fellow is
lying, Or he would back his statements
by the proof.
If any Mormon made the re-
mark above quoted, he is either
troubled with idiooy or is deplor-
ably ignorant of the history of his own
people and of the political parties. The
Republicans have clustered a good deal
about the Mo1mons, but have done
nothing; they have passed ant.-polyg-
amy laws and left them about as force
full as back date almanacs. Republican
inactivity or Incompetence is respons-
ible for much of the trouble which the
Democrats have been forced to impose
upon the Mormons, tor while pro Slain.
ing against Mormon practices the Re-
publicans have left it for Democrats to
enforce the laws for the suppression of
those practices. Only last week three
fourths of the newspapers in the
country published statement which
was read IN Congress showing that
while the Republican party was in
power, during twenty three years of the
existence Of anti-polygamy laws, it
prosecuted half dozen persons, and in
less than three years under Demo-
cratic administration there were more
than five hundred convictions. Perhaps
the conscientious Mormon of Pocatello
thinks it good treatment to be fined
and sent to the Penitentiary.
But we are of the opinion that our
Idaho contemporary undertook to
manufacture a little capital for its
party, and because of its ignorance OF
the facts put his foot into it," 50 to
sneak.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1888-09-20
NOTICE OF INTENTION
OF the City Council of Salt Lake City
to Sewer District No. /. t-

NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN BY THE
IN City Council of Salt Lake City oil the
intention of such Council to make the fol-
lowing de scribed improvement, towit:
To construct q double line of SEWER
LATRRALs on and along the following de-
scribed streets of SAID city, viz -
South Temple Street, First South street,
Second South Street and Third South
Street
From First West Street to Second East
Street;
West Temple Street and East Temple
Rom North Temple Street to Fourth
South Street.
First East Street
From South Temple steet to Fourth South
And singl, line of Sewer Latera s on
and along the following described streets,
viz
From North Tenn pie Street to Fourth
South street; and ,t>
Second East Street.
From South Temple Street to Fourth
South Street.
and defray the whole of the cost thereof,
estimated at Eighty Thousand Dollars, by a
local assessment upon the lots or pieces of
ground within the described sewer District
Number One, being the district to be
affected or benefited by said improvement,
namely:
Commencing at the intersection of the
centres of North Temple Street and First
West Street, thence east to the centre of
First East street, thence south to the centre
of South TEN pie Street, thence east 10 the
centre of Second East Street, thence south
to the centre of Fourth South Streer, thence
west to the centre of First IWest sire ct,
thence north to the place of beginning,
ALI of blocks so, 81 81, SO, So, 81, 3d. SO, 68,
SO, 20, II, "a, IS, 76, II, So, 81 and IS, plat a.
Salt Lake City survey, are within the said
district and will be subject 20 said tax.
The mode of assessment thereof will be by
valuation of the real property within the
district, and the tax to be assessed will be
two per cent of the assessed lvalue of the
aforesaid resi- estate, as valued on the as
sessment roll o. said city for the year 1888.
In addition to such tax the real estate
owners in said district will have to pay for
their house connections, the average cost
of which viii be about SlVO eaen, peslo es
the necessary plumbing 10 prepare Houses
for such connection, of whic. no Eelaole
estimate can be made.
Ali protests and objections to the Ca
ing out of such intention must be presented
TO the City Council on or before Tuesday,
the 10th day of October. 1883, being the time
set by the said Council when it will hear
and o1sider such objections as may be
made thereto.
By order of the City Council of Salt Lake
City, made September 18th, 1883.
HEBER NJ. WELLS,
City Recorder.
Salt Lake City. o ali. September 10Th, 1883.