Workmen's advocate., 1888-02-25


 One of the ''good creatures of God. :"
 An, great IS science With what reverential awe will the sweating, lll-smellng "mudsills' of society, regard this thing which bruises them even unto death.
 Oh yes, now that the good and learned professor has made every thing So clear about the much abused monopoly, the poor working man will rid himself of his illiterate notions. He will no longer look up- on monopoly as hideous monster of oppression. No, he will hereaf- ter hall 1t as wise and bencticent dlspensatlon of the order of nature. Of course, the professor has done great service to humanity by his luminous exposure of one of the most firmly entrenched supersti- tons of the day. May he be fully recompensed. Now, if some other learned gentleman would make it his business to disabuse the public mind of some other errors which it has grasped and clings to with the stupid tenaclty of burly ignorance. For instance, 1t IS very generally be- lleved that filth is thing to beware of. Filth is an enemy to the health and well-being of the race. Yet, might not an article be written show ing the fragrant injustice of this uni yersal denunciation?
 Certainly.
 Could it not be clearly proven that filth is founded in the order of nature and no one is to blame for it?'
 Certainly.
 And would it be very difficult to show that filth is "not always mis- chieyous," and that it has "great utility and advantage when prop erly situated in compost heap, for instance?
 We should say Lot.
 Then why will not some great professor apply himself to this mat ter, and present a sound doctrine in accord with scientific tests to the ig- norant masses, so that this unseem- ly hue and cry against filth may cease?
 And while the learned gentleman's hand is in. he might explode some other of the populor fallacies.
 There is a distressing superstition that the smallpox is a dsagreeable thing to have around. It is consid- cred, enormously no doubt, to be somewhat unwholesome; indeed, so great is the aversion to this phe- nomenon of nature, that no one will | speak kindly of it.
 Yet, it has been statisticaly proven that as promoter of human misery the smallpox IS a drivelllng idiot compared with monopoly.
 Now, this gross injustice to so harmless a thing should be seen to. Therefore let the learned gentleman, whoever he may be. when expstiat- ing on assorted filth also put in a good word for the benign blessings disguised under the repulsive fea- lures of ylrulent smallpox. Yes. by all means, let us have these matters presented in their scientific aspect.
 Then, when the truly benevolent character of the much maligned monopoly has been supplemented by an equally valid certificate as to the gushing innocence of filth and the aesthetic utility of smallpox properly understood, then will the day be not far distant when the dainty ducklet, yet warm with recent culinary ex- perlence, will soar on pinions swift though singed-through sun and air.
 Yes, and then will the now somber web of life be shot anew in warp and wool with glistening threads of many colored hucs and so make glad the eye of the cultured proletary as he scans with ecstatic joy the grand fabric gleaming with the fine gold of a revised monopoly-ilashlng with the silvery sheen of the new doc trne of filth and glorious with the ethereal blue of a reconstructed gos- pei of pestilence. Heaven speed the professors.
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