davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29
About Mothers-in-Law.
From the San Francisco Chronicle

Of course you don't always find them
like this Mothers-in-law have bad
reputation. 1t is not deserved. per-
haps. / don't know; [ never had one,
but somehow l like Sol Smith Russelps
advice:
envy boy, when you marry, marry an
orphan, or some girl whose mother isn't
very WE'LL"
1t is rather curious that fair young
girl, full of healthtul affection and sym
pathy and all that sort Of thing, should
grow up to be a tyranKing old mother-
in-law. 1t does not seem natural, but II
it weren't SO would everybody have such
q decided opinion about them /! lis 1T
that a woman when she gets married
finds herself SO domineered over by a
man that her only revenge is to take it
out of the man who marries her daugh-
ter? Are daughters after all only a kind
of bait to catch man that mother-in-
law can get even upon? / suppose that
is one of the conundrums the all-wlse
Creator has put into life to give US some
thing to guess. Ifeverything were quite
clear and plain, what would We do half
the time for the employment of
our alleged minds? However, this
is kind OF mother-in-law
who absolutely deprives matrimOny OF
all its sting. She had come out to visit
her daughter, happily married and liv-
ing in coy little fiat surrounded with
every comfort. The husband has a
comfortable business and a large store
of affection and devotion. Frequently
as is not uncommon. the wife will say:
4 wish | had house on Mob Hill" or,
81 wish l could 60 to Europe"
and the husband. TO belittle
her shemes, generally puts in, 81
wish l bad 81" One evening at
dinner the frequent little episode
happened. The wife wished for some
thing very improbable and the hus-
band said seriously, II wish had 81. y
The mother-in- law grew fidgetty and
anxious until the husband got up from
the table and left the room. She fol
lowed him hastily and stopping him in
the hall said, with hesitation:
I didn't know-Pm SO sorrv-but-
David can let you have 81 or more. "
The family are disguised to think that
their mother has SO little sense OF
humo1, and they talk of sending her
home
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29
Your Friend Committed Suicide.

friends dreamed of it, he did not know 1T
himself, but it is exactly what he did, never
theless. Do you remember his sallow COM
plexion? Do you recollect how he used
to complain of headaches and constipation?
Pm getting quite bilious" he said to you
one day, but / guess it'll pass off; L
haven't done anything for it, because l
don't believe in dosing" Soon after that
YOU heard Of his death. 1t was very sud-
den, and every one greatly surprised.
If he had taken DR.. Pierces Pleasant Purga-
tive Pellets lie would be alive and we'll to-
day. Don't follow his example. The Pei
lets are easy to take, mild in their action,
and ALWAYS STre
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29
Unequalled Stinginess.
from the Christian at Work

A man in Western New York, on the
authority of Bishop Coke. puts five
cents in the Offering on Sundays In the
free church which he attends. but pays
500 a season for an opera box, and the
Living Church matches him with mill
ionaire of its acquaintance who sub
scribes dollar Sunday toward the
expenses of his church, but stops pay
ment during his winter excursions in
the South, in which he spends thous-
ands of dollars upon himself and family.
These cases ought to be put in the same
pigeon hole with that of the mamie
lives, moves and has his being in this
city-who went West last year with his
family, spent a thousand dollars, be-
sides eighty dollars expense incurred
by taking a pet dog with him, and then
returned home, and after lis ening to
an urgent appeal in his church Tor for-
eign missions. put IS in the plate. Ev-
cry reference tile and index bureau in
the country ought to have special and
very spacious compartment labelled
"Unequalled Stinginess," That is
where the three cases noted above, with
myrlads of others, would be filed away.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29
He Ate Glass.

The Providence Journal tells of a Fail
River man named Sabine, keeper of a
little place in Flint Village, who has
been initiating the glass eaters whose
performances in a dime museum he
once had the misfortune to witness.
He was enraptured with the perform
ance, and didn't stop to make any in
quiries as to how the act was performed.
He had a good set of teeth and had
seen a man consume tumblers, and that
settled it. He went into the business
himself, and by paying 10 cents at the
entrance of his small shop the public
have been afforded the opportunity
of seeing Sabine make away
with glass bottles and clam
shells. He used the real ma
terial and seemed TO be hourishing, but
his stomach finally struck work. Thurs
day night the glass eater sent for a
clergyman and minated that the latter
couldn't get 10 him any too quickly.
He was having fits when the minister
arrived, and when he didn't have fits
he filled in the time with cramps and
snasms of a violent order. He had
taken huge doses of pain killer, which
added to his misery, and, taken all in
all. was in pitiable condition. Finally
a connie of officers were summoned,
who explained the cause of the sick
mans contortions to the puzzled par
son. and a removal to the hospital was
rOdered.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29
A Small Picture of a Great Man.
From the Epoch.

I only propose to lot down at random
some of the characteristics of this Won
derful man, who has shown by turns
such marvellous sagacity, extraordinary
activity, stern resolution and vind1ctive
brutality; in short, TO give a chapter of
Bismarck in undress. The Prince has
recently entered upon his seventy
fourth year, and his health, admirably
cared for by Professor Schweninger is.
if not perfect, fair for man of his years
who has done such heavy mental work
during the past quarter of a century.
Still, Tor some time past he has
shown signs of fatigue and
has given, it is said, some
of his co-workers to understand
that he would, ere long, completely
abandon part of his duties to his son
Herbert Inappearance the Chancellor
is tall. with face expressing at once
brutality and fnesse. His thick, white
eyebrows, heavy lids and enormous ears
give leonine appearance to his head !;
the craEium is round and the forehead
not very high; the hollow cheeks fall in
large masses upon the jaw bone; the
chin is hard, straight and long; the
pinched mouth is concealed under a
heavy mustache; ii nose is small, with
large nostrils, and slightly turned up !;
the eye is blue and piercing. To-day
the Prince weighs 100 pounds, which is
90 pounds less than he weighed six
wears ago, when DE-. Schweninger began
troatinp him
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29
Iuck and Chance.
From the Boston Manufacturers Gazett

From the Boston Manufacturers Gazette.
A term used not long since in connec-
ton with an accident strikes a line of
reasoning worth following up. The term
used was 1.-The laws of chance were
against them" Webster saws chance Is
1.-The absence of any defined or recog-
nized cause" or IAN event which hap
Clarke hit the mark truly when he
wrote: 1T is strictly and philosophy
callv true in nature and reason that
there is no such thing as chance or acct
dent; it being evident that these words
do not signify anything really existing,
anything that is truly an agent or the
cause OF an event, but they signify
merely mems ignorance Of the real and
Immediate cause" 1t seems as if the
claws of chance" would be pretty good
field for study, and that some pretty
solid laws are in existence somewhere
on natures statute book. Another term
goes with "cEance." 1t is called luck. !"
Sometimes they 60 hand in hand as q
lucky chance" Luck is disposed of
in Webster as ''that which happens to a
person; an event, good or I'LL, affecting a
mans happiness or inter tests, and which
is deemed casual; a course or series of
such events regarded as occurring by
chance" Now, then, luck is what
chance does, and we must ''take the
chances if we wish knowledge of this
matter. To acknowledge that there are
flaws of chance" admits that a cause
precedes each event. and gives some
ground to work upon. If man would
think twice before he uses the words
'Echance" and luck" he would not use
them at all, but reason out, as far as his
knowledge would permit, the cause of
each event called luck.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29
Car Horses IN Cabs.
From the Washington Post.


The cab driver who was on duty al
Sheridan residence during the generals
illness stood on the curb one morning
and discoursed learnedlv to the re-
porter about cab horses. "To make a
tirst-class cab horse" said he, "the
street car horse, the older and tougher
he is the better. Take off his shoes and
turn him out to pasture for season,
then bring him in and put him in har-
ness. He will stand twice the work
and rough handling that would ruin a
plump young horse from the country.
The hardest work on horses is not
street car work by any means. A
horse will be broken down much soon
er IN herdic. The concrete pave
ments dry out and crack horses hoot
much sooner than the cobblestones Of a
car track"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29
"The World Moves. :"

Maintained Calico, when his tOrmentors racked
him for advocating the true system of Coperni
Gus. Certain iolles hold out, however, against
the illumination Of discovery and experience
There are hosts of people who because they have
adopted certsin principles continue to swallow
them 10 their dying day in defiance of the laws
of common sense. Mercury, drastic purgatiycs,
super potent narcotics and sedatives, though
they have given ground before the irresistible
progress of Hostetter's Stomach B!tters a ma
tional, painless remedy for disorders of the liver
the stomach and the bowels still continue to
make ambulatiug apothecaries shops of many
stomachs. The symptoms of liver trouble are
easily remf diable without any abdominal dis
turbance with this beneficent Alternative. SO also
are constipation, sick headache, heartburn and
inability to digest satisfactorily. 1T cures
fever and ague, rheumatism and kidney trouble.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29
Cure for Rheumatism.

G. G. Treat, of West Granville, Mass,
writes of ALLCooK'S Porous PLAsTERs:
For rheumatism, neuralgia, pain in the
side or back, coughs, colds, bruises, and
any local weakness, they truly possess
wonderful curative qualities. I have rec
commended them to my neighbors with the
happiest results, many of whom but for
ALLCoCK's PLAsTERs would be in a
crippled condition at home. In every in
stance where they have been faithfully
and properly applied the result has been
wonderfully satisfactory.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29
THE SUMMER NIGHT,
BY ELIZABETH COLE.

BY ELIZABETH COLE.
The night comss on-Ihe dewy summer night.
bringing q cooling, soothing silvery balm
For all the heat and blinding glare flight
Broad moonllt stretches, pulsing darkness,
calm
A1d peace for weary hand and heart and mind;
Fer feet that tread all day the dreary mill
OF work, The end of which they never find
The iIed. bruised hands lie clasped and still,
That grasped lies burdens all the long day
through.
Heads that have ached and thrObbed with
anxious thoughts,
Are cooled by breezes soft and gathering dew.
Hearts that were filed with misty, chilling
doubts,
Find hope again out in the summer night
And SO from ont the darkness cometh light
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29

Canoe" Harrlson low fellow, "born IN
the Log Cabin the emblem of the most
enthusiastic of campaigns. Warmers
Log Cabin Sarsaparilla and "Tippeca-
noe" stomach tonic are enthusiastically
received by the American people to-
day, because they are the remedies Of
the common people-simple but effect
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29
"A. PLEASAN
REMEDIAL HOME.
FULL STAFF OF
EXPERIENCED PHYSICIANS & SURGEONS.
Mar CERONTC DISEASES Sucs
CO ,sfuI1y Treated without o.
Personal Consultation.

WE obtain knowledge of the patients dis
~ ease by the application, to the practice OF
medicine, of weli-estabshed principles of nodern
science The most ample resources for treating
lingering chronic diseases, and the greatest
skill, are thus placed within the easy reach OF
invalids however distant they may reside. Write
and describe your symptoms, inclosng ten cents
in stamps, and complete treatise, your par
ticular disease, will be sent you, with opin-
ion as to its nature and durability.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29
A BABY out in Indiana came near d,

A BABY out in Indiana came near dy-
ing in an odd fashion last week. The
mother lett it safe in the cradle, while
out in the yard was trolicsome puppy
with a block and chain. By some
means, in her absence, the dog got in
the house, and in playing with the child
the chain was so wound about its throat
that il was almost strangled when the
mother got back.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29
Barnum and the BIackmaiIer.

What is called "Blackmail" is form
of impostur re which drives a prosperous
and sucee 'siul business in New York
and other large cities, says the Scottish
American. On one occasion when Bar
NUNS Musuem was located at the cor
ner of Ann Street and Broadway, lady
from the country" entered the muse
uin and inquired for Mr.. Barnum. At
ter an effort she found him in his little
office, and here is what took place
"Mr. Barnum, I've been looking all
around for you, and Pm glad to see
YOU" 81 am delighted you have found
me-" said Barnum; "what can I do for
you-have you seen the museum ?'
mo, sir; [ want to tell you Pm writing
q book" Madam, you delight me
more; it is a grand thing for woman
to write book; hope you will have
success; GO round and see the museum;
60 into the lecture-room and see the
performance: good-by madame" Her
ladyship left, looked at the curiosities,
went into the lecture-room, and after a
while paid the greatest Snowman on
earth another visit. GIVE come again,
Mr.. Barnum." eyes, madam, see you
have; hope you've seen the show; how
do you like it? Fine, isn't it?" 'Yes,
Mr.. Barnum, but l want you to speak
have thought of it ever since
you told me. / like the idea. l
hope you will succeed" eyes, Mr..
Barnum, but 1 am going to have some
thing in it about you you may not like"
"No matter, madame; write your book,
make money out of it, gay anything you
like about me, but spell my name right
p. t. B-a-r-n-u-m, p. T. Barnum-an
I'll be pleased anyway" That black
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29
Edwin FORESTS Secret.

The great tragedian, Forrest, had a secret
which everybody ought to learn and profit
by. Said he, Il owe all my success to the
fact that everything that l have undertaken
! have done thoroughly. ] never neglect
trifies." That's the point-don't neglect
trifies. Don't neglect that hacking cough,
those night-sweats, that feeble and caprici-
Gus appetite, and the ether symptoms,
triting in themselves, but awful in their
significance. They herald the approach of
consumption. You are in danger, but you
can be saved. DR.. Pierces Golden Medical
Discovery will restore you to health and
vigor, as it has thousands of others. For
all scrofulous diseases and consumption is
one of them, it is a sovereign remedy
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29
A Steel Lifeboat.

There is now on exhibition at the
Alexandra palace steam lifeboat built
of steel. 1t is absolutely unsuitable, is
unca psizable, worked with twin screws
placed in a position where they will be
lifted out of the water, and can be raised
instantly on coming to shore The en-
gines and fires are perfectly protected.
and the draught of the vessel with if
teen men on board is only twelve
inches
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29
WE accidentally overheard the follow

dialogue on the street yesterday:
Jones Smith, why don't you stop that
disgusting hawking and splitting?
Smith. How can II You know / am q
martyr to catarrh.
j. Do as 1 did. l had the disease in its
worst form but am we'll now.
S. What did you do for it?
j. l used DR.. Sage's Catarrh Remedy.
1t cured me and it Will cure you.
S. I've heard of it, and by Jove I'll try
it.
j. Do so. You'll find it at all the drug
stores in town.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29

Moxie has created the greatest excite
ment as beverage, in two years, ever wit
messed, from the fact that it brings nervous,
exhausted, overworked women to good
powers of endurance in few days; cures
the appetite for liquors and tobacco at
once, and mas recovered large number of
cases Of old, helpless paralysis as a food
only
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29

THE latest trout story comes from
Winchester, England. An angler IS
said to have captured fish IN the River
itchen there, which weighed 16 pounds
and traction, and measured 2linches
around. This sportsman ought to come
over and catch the sea serpent people
are constantly seeing off the coasts of
Rhode Island and Maine
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29

A LITTLE 4-year-old girl in Macon, Ga,
has just got $500 for father who is
dead, and has the assurance of $3.50 a
month from now until she is 16 years
old. Uncle Sam makes the payment
under the arrears OF pension law.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29

"UNcLE" ZACH HASH, the oldest settler
of Chandlerville, ILL.,, remembers the
time he saw Abraham Lincoln plotting
an odd-looking flatboat, loaded with
hogs, whisky and corn, down the San
canon River.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29
A BLIND guitar PLAYER named Manjon,

A BLIND guitar player named Manjon,
from Spain, is creating stir in the
music world abroad. He uses an in
strument with eleven strings. 1t is sew
named Lor created a sensation with his
guitar and made a perfect craze for the
instrument, SO that the piano seemed
likely to be driven out Of the field.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29

THE habit of running over boots or shoes
corrected with Lyons Patent Heel Stiffen-
ers.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29

LOG CABINS were the
most prominent feature
of the Presidential cam
paien of 1S40. At the
opening of the cam paign,
the opposition sneering-
ly proclaimed "Tippe-
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29

THE annual wine auctions which have
lately been he d in Germany show that
good Rhine wines are unprec ,dentedly
scarce, and, therefore, prices have run
very high
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29
KIDNEY
DISEASES,

personal exami
generally be
The study and
examination OF
reference to cor
became famous
In disease of tn
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29

EpiIeptic Commissions, or Fits, Pa
raIysis. or Palsy, LOcOmOtOr AIaxfas
ST. Vitus's Dance, Insomnia, or inability
to sleep, and threatened insanity, Nervous
Debility. and every variety of nervous affec-
Nv oIicfo fOr
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29
RRHGET,S DISEASE. DIaRETES.
c-UTION.

(which can My be asCerLa
scOpical examination or
curative in enc stage or c'
Being in constant receip
work on the nature and Gu
style to be easily underst.
trated Treatise on these @
dress on receipt of ten cen
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29
AYALDs HOTEL Ind SURGICAL INSTITUTE sss Main ST. Buffalo,

The treatment OF Diseases of
the Air Passages and Lungs, such
as Chronic Catarrh in the He ad,
Laryngitis. Bronchitis, Asthma,
and COnsu mptiOn, both through
correspondence and at our institutions,
constitutes an important speciality.
We DIJhliSh three RoDarata hooks on
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29

Nasal, Throat and Lung Diseases, W
formation, viz: ID A Treatise on
Bronchitis; price, postpaid, ten cen
or Phthisic, giving new and succe:
paid, ten cents. 81 A Treatise on Z
price, postpaid. two cents.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29
DISEASES OF
WOMEN.

already baffied the skill OF all the
Of a full Council of skilled spe
Invalids' Hotel and Surgical /
ten cents in stamps for our {
Women, illustrated with wOOd-c
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29
STRUCTURES AND URINARY FIS.
a Of Of the WOraf form
STRUCTURE.

OF inexperienced physlclanS an
urinary fistule, and other conn
relief and cure. That no case {
skill of our specialists is prove
trated treatise on these malad
To intrust this class of cases
is a dangerous proceeding. N
life by 80 doing, while thousand
unskillf,. j treatment. Send p
cents in stamps for a large. LII
testimonials.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29
1 DISEASls OF |
] DIGESTION. |

on Diseases of the
on receipt of ten
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29
BLADDER
DISEASES.

binary success.
Pamphlet On UriI
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-29
NERVOUS
DISEASES.

eases with unusual success. Sc
different illustrated pamphlets
which will be sent for ten cents
for them is accompanied with q
ton, SO that we may know viii
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1888-02-20

ll.15c; September 1o9o11o.s5ci October. 1os5
nIo.95c, November. losoc bid; December, 1880
tss SIC. 4sn.d aus Sosses nom1a
test test 2o lse. Rice e'f firm n -
Eggs quiet and easy, Western. 25026lsc; receipts.
Pork dull and unchanged Cut meats rather weak.
rd and nsss narss
June. sosSs.i1e; July. sI40s.isc' city steam,
Butter in light requests Western. 14030c Cheese
quiets Western, l140l2e
CHICAGO. Feb. Is-0rain started in weaker and
lower, and provisions strong and higher on Change
to-day. Speculation about at a stand-stl during
the FIRST hour. but there q general waking up
about the close of the hour. when prominent opera
His bidding entirely changed the sentiment, for il
developed the fact that nearly everybody short
70 SO Nc in very short time. The operator men.
toned bought wheat persistently all day. This kent
fact that il wa: ..short wheat May reached 81 leo
before the advance stopped, and finally closed At
sssssd of to 5ose s When wheat started up the
they, speedily rushed the price up, to 81 asc
Trading was quite heavy during the balance of the
and most Of them on both. May advanced to 81 nc.
but toward noon, the Shorts having svened up,
Oats Oats we're q good strong market today Speculation
based the condition of the other grain markets,
mes. and some advance May opened at 81 SEC, and
closed at the highest figure of the day-31 Ssc
Provisions active for Saturday, and stronger
feeling developed prices all speculative articles
averaging higher and closing at nearly the outside
for the day, showing net advances yesterdays
close of loo on pork .12iac lard. and 05c May
short ribs. Traders who have been selling pork all
week were buyers. and the Anglo-American party
who have bought every preceding day were
sellers, dsposing of about $4,000 barrels, and
would probably have sold more had the market been
sufficiently strong to take it without breaking.
Country houses. who bought the recent decline,
to be nearly evened than any previous day
this week May pork opened at $14. advanced irreg;
at $I41712 Hutchnsons buying tho factor in the
lard market his purchases being placed at Is 900 to
20 600 terces. May sold from 1922 at 80 i2c, and
closed at the top. Trading in short ribs moder
ate; May sold at 7.52l2O7.57lac, and closed at
7.55c. Packing since Nov. ], 1922, 600 hogs,
against $40 900 hogs for the same time last year.