St. Landry democrat., 1888-05-12
FULL OF FUN.

"A messenger boys diary: Mon
day, hired; tuesday. tired; Wednes-
day. fired"
Some scamp recently decorated,
in the night, the great door of Sing
Sing IN. W prison with the legend:
Hair cut while you wait"
The man who first discovered that
the "world goes round and round, I"
was probably coming home at three
o'clock in the morning. Drake s
Magazine.
-'Sh-h-h, child! Young people
should be silent when older people are
talking" "Then when shall young
people talk. mamma? Old people are
never silent. Texas Siftings.
Customer 'Waiter, bring me
some rice pudding Waiter-'I can't
just recommend the rice pudding to.
day." why, what's the
matter with it?'' WAITER: Nuthin'
'cept there AIM one"
Book Agent How do you do,
madam. VIII your dog bite?' Madam
-"Waal. l reckon he will.' Book
Would you have the good
ness to speak to him?' Ger.
tainlv. Sick i'm, Tige; sick imp -
Harper's Bazaar.
-Cresus-"How much did you say
Mr.. Newgold was down for?" The
Minister Five h hundred dollars, sir. "
Cresus Put me down for six hun.
dred dollars, then. In a matter Of
Christian charity l can't stand on s
level with an upstart like him. "
Puck.
Omaha Man reading)-"F Female
carpenters have appeared in London"
| Wife" Shouldn't wonder. A woman
can be a carpenter now as we'll as a
man." why so?'' 81 saw by the pa
per the other day that an Englishm ar
had invented a machine for driving
nails. "-Omaha World.
Extract from an unpublished
novel: GAS Augustus left the door old
Mr. Brown came out and threw on old
shoe after him, for good luck, as Au,
gustus surmised. There was mum.
Der nine foot in the shoe, however, anC
Augustus felt his speed greatly ac-
tolerated. "-Jouawa of Education.
Customer ION Chatham street, -
-Four dollars seems a high price fol
that suit, Mr. Isaacstein. Mr. Isaac
stein Gin low, thrilling whispeD =
MY trent, dot vas six-dollar suit
made for Mr. Russell Sage nit Val
street. 1t fitted dot shentlemans too
qu-vick across der pack. You dakt
him for four tollar. lid Bits.
II hear they arc going to have &
donkey party at BIS" said Par
sonville man to his neighbor. $50
UNDERESTIMATE was the reply; 'are you
going?" "Of course l am" said thu
Pars onville man; "they couldn't have
the party without metz And h,
couldn' quite make out what the othe
fellow was laughing ats. Alban
Messenger.
| -"What are those potatoes WORTH?
he inquired of the grocer -Four dol
lars bushel. Holy smoke! Fou
dollars! Guess we won't eat an,
more potatoes "You wanted then
to eat, did you? l can let you have
them for fifty cents peck, then.
thought you wanted them for seed. ~
Detroit Free Press.
They were talking about tina
fearful cyclone in the West. 81 have
a mortal dread of cyclones" "Wer,
you ever in one?n somebody asked
No, but l lost my dear aunt in one
"That is very sad ''You bet it wa
tough. She hadn't made her will, ane
instead of me, another relative go
the property. I've never had any us'
for cyclones since" -1eras .Sytings
PA, who was it turned the gar
den hose on Reginald when he wa
serenading meP' ut was l, daugh
ter" "And why, pray?' Because
Shakespeare advises it. He says Il
music the food of love, play on, ane
assuming Reginald's brand of music t.
be the food of love, / played on
played on him with the hose and
dilution of insect powder. - Yonker
Gazette.
| ONE WHO STAYED.