The Press., 1888-09-20
THE KICKER MANS EDITORIAL UTTER ANCES,

Next week we shall begin the publica- tion of an agricultural dcpa tIurnt in The Kicker, thus making years subscription len times as valuable as at present with out increasing the cost to subscribers. We have made arrangements with a tendr- foot who struck the town without cent to take charge of the new department. He is sailor by trade, and we now have him out in the country learning the difference between a coyote and Hubbard squash. He may make few blunders on tue go- off, as he sticks to il that potatocs ought to grow on trees, and that wheat grows wrong end to, but he is hummer, and will get there by and by. Remember, this department does not ir crease the sub scription price at all We are simply try ing t" publish paper worth $l00 per year for $2
 If there Is a more courteous gentleman Tn all the great west than Colonel Dubif1 We should like his address. We referred to the colonel the other day as an unhung thief. It was only our way, hut he took exceptions, and called at the office on Tues day and knocked us down. The blow was delivered ill the most gen'eel manner, and was not accompanied with any verbal utternces to shock our scnsibilities. Neither did the colonel gouge our eyes Or chew our ears after we were down. He Was cool, ca m and composed, and we free ly admit that VIC got up with an increase of 50 per cent. Tn respect for him. Our nose was skinned, aud we knocked an auc- ton bill into ''pi" as we fell, but we have no grudge to satisfy. The colonel could do no less, and we are thankful he did no more. We shall be pleased to see him again.
 The common council has awarded the city printing to The Weekly Tom Cat, as was expected, and that dish-rag of a sheet is giving us the grand crow. We are not disappointed. We put in the lowest bid, and we have the largest circulation, bn the aldermen owed us "ne. The Kicker has recorded ahd exposed them as fogers, thieves and gamblers, and they do not think of us with kindness. And, too, they were under lasting obligations to th,' raw bontd, knock kueed, cross-ey, d, how paper. Had he not been a member of the last grand jnry, every mothers son of 'cm would have gone to prison.
 We have no tears to shed, gentlemen. You arc on top just now, but wait few weeks. We are working mp your pedi- grees, and Billy Pinkerlon iS coming this way ill October
 J. Y. z. Hopkins. familiarly known to our citizens as "The Young Crowbar of the Rockies" called at the office yesterday and stopped his paper, b, cause, as he ex- plnined, "It has no literary merit" We are glad to be rid of him. He hasn't got brains enough 10 appreciate good thing when it is held under his nose. No lit erary merit Great Scots, but how some people are built We have been looking over the last three numbers, and we find that they average three murders, two hang ings, five robberies, two elOpements, and two shipwrecks each, and the testimonials of those who have been cured of consump- tion, gout and rheumatism are not slow reading by any means. While we are glad to see MT. Hopkins go, we shall keep an eye on his future movements. If he has escaped from some eastern idiot asylum, cur people ought to know it.
 Our thanks are due Mrs. General Sniff for d prck of beautiful onions, sent in a day or two ago. Also to Mrs. Judge Hen dricks for six toothsome sandwiches and a dozen pickles. Also to Major Hayes, for two pounds of butter and slice of ham. selves, and our friends vie with each other in loading our tables with delicacies. We pity the man without friends.
 F. S.-Subscribers will please excuse tho. looks of The Kicker this week The two mixed with our ink by ,ccideut, causing the latter to run too freely. We have added some pulverized clay to the lot, and expect the ink to stiffen up before our next issue.-ArizO1a0 Kicker.