davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Homer guardian., 1888-11-16

"A funny man who asked the
questions sswhere is the state of
matrimony?" received this explain
atory answer: .It is one Of the
United States. 1t is bounded by
hugging and kissing on one side
and cradles and babies on the 9TH
er. It's cheif products are popu-
lation, broom sticks and staying
out late at night. 1t was discoY-
cred by Adam and Eve while try
ing to fnd a northwest passage
out of Paradise. The climate is
rather sultry till you pass the
tropics of housekeeping, when
squally weather commonly sets in
with sufficient power to keep oil
|liands as cool as cucumbers. Fol
the principal roads leading to this
| interesting state, consult the frs
|pair ofblueeyes you run against
Homer guardian., 1888-11-16

Biggs had q wonderful escape
from death this morning. A brick
fell from the roof Of . fpurstory
building and bit him on the head. !"
Did i hurt hin much ~
Not I BIZ. can't account loF'
list 81. !,
silpI y saoue !! !!
Homer guardian., 1888-11-16

Contains all the Home News, inH
Guiding full and official account 81
the proceedings Of the Police Julyd
Claiborne Parish and Town Council
of Homer, and the general news 81
the day, together with more miscellaal
neous,, instructive and interesting
reading matter than any paper N
North Louisiana.
The paper is placed at price with
in the reach of all--only ONE Doll
LAR A YEAR IN ADVANCE, for
THE GUARDIAN, A
seven-column paper.
In politics THE GUARDIAN viii
be thoroughly Democratic, but oppos1
ed to Ring Rule and Monopolies, and q
all corruption in high or low places
I'll is for an honest, pure and ccononla
ical Government, from the Fedora
Administration downto the corpoIa7
ton of thetown. Will be Feat
and outspoken on all public que.
tions.
THE BEST ADVERTISING MEDl4
s|UM IN NORTH LOUISIANA.
! There will not be less than s.
J Iundren copies Of TIE GuARDlA
ISSUED from the start, and we exp
Ito have at least ONE THOUSAN.
cash subscribers before two mont
expires.
Advertising rates reasonable,
will be furnished on application. "
make as low rates as any paper nal
ling anything like an equal clrcuII
ton.
It WILL Pay to advertiser
MTn nH kQDIk
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-12-23

II tries, and that possible in the mo.
bizarre, unheard-of and incredible callings keM
about the corn-sheler genius, about the OLD ieuow
who carries n baby farm. about the man VINO Duys
old false teeth. about tho artist who paints out
black eyes about Darby and JOAN about tho
walking advertiser, about the fellow who dsposcs Vi
surplus cats and dogs about the farmer who runs
horse heaven" about tho man who buys ola I1n ron
and paros apples, about the Yankee who Knows tno
geneaiogy OF all tho fox hounds about the many quee,
doar-mines which Maine enterprise has openeo-anu
then consider whether getting living Is such Vory
hard thing after all ,.,..
But this word living IS a vague and indenhite
substantive One OF our pondents tells In TINS
Issue OF citizen who maintains his castle at an ex-
pense OF 81 week or less. You and know families
who live comfortably 5000 a year, ana others
VINO have 81 800. but are always short. There aro
as many WAYS OF living rs there are OF gettlhs
living aud happy Is lac who can measure what n, no
wants by what he has. The man who can 90 that
always get living; the man who cannot, AWAY
gets little less than living. AS Tor more than
that, no man thinks he has a competency. A VIII
has defined this word financial horizon that re-
cedes as advance" We never reach u. Jay
Could has not got there yet. He is breaking down
his health in q struggle for few more millions.
o mysterious. elusive, paradoXical collar! lhou
art so easy TO be got-and yet SO hard
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-12-23
TYPES OF DOLLARGETTERS.

Prom The LcNISiCH JOuuIdh
The Aroostook man. whom witty PTesque Isle
correspondent describes able TO make living by
swapring iackkDVes with his wife rainy days, 10
INIT slight exaggeratiOn Of type well known III New
Fngland@a class of men who seem 10 thrive without
than that Of their next-dOor negb0r, who works hard
ali his life and dies without roof Of his own, While
the typical citizen Of whom we are speaking becomes
Ia real estate holder and drives very good team.
The writer has I'm mind an Old friend whose DEAN
he saw recorded the other day. We VIII call MN
Incle Reubcn lie died full Of and honOrs and
good victuals yet he hustled No would have
accused him OF being a brilliant man. lie was slow,
unlettered welded TO his old ways and his old pipe,
he worked very moderately when he worked at all,
was contenied and happy, raised large family be-
came an Alderman, and left his heirs handsome
property There once lived next door 10 him man
Who was finely educated, pointed out az smart" and
promising and always the jump; be worked
hard every minute Stunned all vices strong IN
character and In everything that was good
iut he broke I'm middle life and died insOlNcnt
Now this f. the way of an argument that
lazness gets rich n Is merely TO bring mo mgh relief
thai type OF Yankee who seems 10 be born into the
world with faculty Of selling the malichance by the
hair as II goes by and compelling II 10 minister to him.
4 sbrewd. calculating habit OF mind, unlted with
moderate ambition small ideas Of living, and ineA
Donsiye habits enables him 10 become fore-handed
Without much pcisplrati0n and with n GOOD deal Oh
pip ,..,,, ,,.,,. g. tho ma, WIN ee,s
his living IN way that nobody clio but INA, ph
ttc,Iar fellow or his double would have thought Of.
We give considerable space 10 this Interesting person
dsv AZ result Of the investigations OF our Maine
cores pondents. Their reports seem 10 show, tnat
there is no way In which a man can't earn living
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-12-23
urcr SNAKE FIGHTING 4 SEAL.

From The Buenos Ayres standard
vas naddlinp along in a small canoe on one OF the
numerous tributaries OF the no faIdha si,ddnn1v
ducks or ANYTHING worth shootng When suuuranS
Iaord Lebnd me a fearful yell ana steae SPla'n..e
In the water bend IN tAe rlfeL PIos ome tantrs ar
ing what II was, bat, thinhihs IL was ~ cder ta get
ca9nncbos bathing turned my canoe III oIuel ~ 81.
a shoot AT them and saw a huge snake hahsns nou,
a tree with his body curled TWO of uuo 1 them Sa
an unfortunate seal The water arouu .n, IL ,ore
foamrg and every and then the sea- ana Io dote
mart al the snake would disappear below tno SURFACE
and remain below for several SECONDS, uii'h IN
moment the snake would TWIST dis pouy Hl.o sots
If cork screw shape and lift the seal right our Oh Ihe
,to and they would remain swinging IL the air, only
summarized by the snakes tail. Az one uhe saw 'ns
second seal lump clean out OF water 10 catch hotu VI
the snake, and all three remained IN inc am. When
suddenly they dropped into the water again the shame
never losing his hold Of the tree. none OF inc coa
hafan, seemed TO De the least affected by my ap
uroach | put my canoe within some ten or tweiso
Xari. of them 80 have good shot az the shsle
next time they appeared, and had scarcely laiu uowh
nv paddle aud caught up my gun when they canle
again | aimed right the snake where ne nan curleu
himself round the seal and gave hin DOM ptlirls
The effect could not have been greater Inc snahe le
90 OF the irre and fell with the Whole engh ol hss
body into the water splashlng me all over, anu uou
agsin thr three disappeared After about q minute
both up on the Other sue OF te ceioc OoA
ing and shaking their heads Ia the same Ma Ss
vhft. breas T.. and 1 noticed that one OF them was
bleeding from a wound In the neck, but whether nom
my shot from bite OF tie snake, could not ten
The snake little later crawled up the barranca out
of the water If nothing the matter with him,
so gave him one shot more, = hlch made hin ds-
appear In the bushes, WHORE EOeing alone In the
lie was "a very big one for from the branch which he
had h. tail an he'd down Ia the water q distance
OF some fourteen feet and when he fell his tail
nearly reached my canoe. 90 not understand,
seals each OF which Wa the size Of an ordinary
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-12-23
THERE ARE TWINS AND TWINS

From The Boston Transcript
The other night the subject OF twins was up as mat
- % .o,,ers,tlon The resemblance Of twins Ii al
-, r,crestlrg and some stories told which were
new IN The Listener one was about pair OF twin SIS
= excellent ladies, who lived near each other IN
s..ir,setts town One OF these twins allng
re,ybat and one DAY her sister, bonnetess and shaN
- r.n in 10 sec how she was, and found that the all
Ing one wanted her TO do an important erfahu 30 on
"s ~ ,h suing sisters shawl aud bonnet and went 70
he store Arriving there, she saw her o"n image IN
Iorce looking glass. aud exclaimed
why YOU decided come yourself, siteI all /
dop,t mink YOU were well enough"
by way Of the opposite Of ths story nempri OF u
Marty told OF a country woman who was asNsu II he'
twin sister rc=emble1 her a. .t,,, ma
ara,gs no ~ exclaimed the old lady We amt no
ror. ,itle fhpn . II . q all Shes JUST ~
dluereut ~ 1 be Z other way
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-12-23
n J. BRADLEES TRUSTS.

From The Boston Advertiser.
A little story Of " J. BIadlee. who died on Monday,
verv suddenly now vivdly remembered is apt Illus
tratlon OF the Characteristic GOODNESS which he displayed
on all occasions Nj. BFadee summoned 20 appear
a. an e,rert on real In Boston In law suit over
the value certain property The lawyer on the other
side NOT knowing Nj Badee, undertook cOunteract his
,.ti,oo.v In the examination the questions and
answers were somewhat Us follows:
What did you say your business was, NJ Bradlee p
began the lawyer
=" Well / have charge OF good many trusts, mostly
real estate" SAID Mr.. BFadlee. 49,,
How much real estate have you ever had charge OF
time E"
Well | don't think can say exactly
But how much should you guessP
couldn't guess"
Well sir would you say 1t was 10000 worthr
should pu, IL as high that certainly
Would you put it a. high as slO,OOOF
Yes"
Fifteen thousandP
Yes"
twenty-five thousands
Yes"
Fifty thousandP
Yes
hundred thOusandF
Five hundred thoussndT
Yes"
millonp
Ivu how many InionsT" roared the astcnlshed law
~ No oulv now began discover that he had caught
well said MI Bradlee, very cooly, tol1 you a.
the ef,,t couldn't say, but since you insist on IL VIII
n,,orIv estimate IL az, say a hundred Millions
You may stand down" said The attorney VINO was
very soon non-suited
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-12-23

Was It by accident that in the selection Of the
Maine the Navy Yard the secretary detailed only
bachelors or did be have In mind the contention
caused by the designation Of the wife Of Chief Navt
Constructor Wilson to chIisten the cruiser Bald
moro a few months ago, a precedent unheard Of, and
one which suggested to the superstihous consequent
illuck 10 that vessel because Of according to a
Iied woman privilege by custom accorded 10 single
LADY, And the Baltimore did meet with mishap al
most Immediately after She was launched her rudder
post and some Of her plates were damaged by coal
barge floating against her. These bachelor officers
referred Lieutenant \. G.. Paul and Assistant
Naval Constructors Joseph 4. Woodward and Samuel
W ArmlStead. both Of the latter having been gradu-
ated from the Naval Academy.
These bachelor officers have been highly favored
By the Government, not only In providing them with
pleasant shore duty, but with quarters and entertain
ment that mako the BenedlcH almost be
single The bachelors have received permission b
occupy the building the foot Of the hill. build
ing that was the CINE house and has been
reconstructed a, dwelling house. Civil Engineer
Asserson, who supcrintcnded the reconstruction, eX-
peced to have II assigned Ia him and his family to
!, live In, and he was sOrey disappointed when Score
tary whitney directed that be fitted up bachelors
quarters. but the question low Is, who viii do the
cooking Washing and ironing for these bachelors ?
That they do not expect spend their time IN the
hotel dining rooms and billiard rooms Is proved by tho
fact that In the storekecper's building. only hun
dred yards away Paymaster LOOMS has sot on part
OF the floor for lawn tennis court, where. no doubt
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-12-23
4 srARTLIYG IDENTIFICATION.

From The Plttsbufg Dispatch III,
way mustn't / stand Mp on The seatF saan s'"A
boy 10 MS mother IA suburban train the o'ner uA'
Because / know you'll fall over ana khocA 'i''
Blanks hat OIL wa- the maternal reply 90, , .
Tho small boy remained silent for moment WINE hs
took stock Of the hat the lady In front Then lac Seia
in judicial lanes Why mamma that's the hat you SAD
you'd knock OF Miss Blanks head II you were her
mother y
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-12-23
ppor1rrvc Ply THE CHINESE FORM OF OATH

pPorrT1NG BY THE CHINESE FORM OF OATH
From The san Francisco Chronicle
The election was over and the Judge was geax YEN
,Is DAYS of Office numbered, ana soiheoouS sa
- HWeu Judge what arc you going to 90
:. I'm going to start chicken ranch"
Going to stock il, ch p
I've got the stock all rig1, a.
Where did you buy the chickehsi-
| didn't buy them"
How did you get them = ,,,os a, courtp
"COllccted them swearing Cinnamon IN Gu, ,rhIch
The Judge had had number OF cases III r MI,0u
CI,Inamen were witnesses. and he mado every Nni'a
man hiring his own chicken 10 DO sworn On
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-12-23

A Goddess like prophet, is never sppiecia"o III
her own country She finds herself measured Dy INC
standard of mortals. and doesn't like IT, when sho
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-12-23

the friends OF the gener sex VIII enjoy many an s
piano and bllaId-table, should the officers taAo
fancy IN them.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-12-23

william Easton tho popular anctoneer, is extremely
proud that American breeders Of thoroughbreds have
given him carte blanche TO purchase for them
valuable horses in England. His thorough knowledge
OF English is Of immense advantage to buyers
who do not TO make journey across the Atlantic
Mr. Easton was known years ago as one OF the all
round athletes Of England. Few amateurs excelled
him at running, swimming and putting the shot
At a mile he beat the well known runner, Grace.
Photograph taken several years ago shows him to be
a man Of splendid physical proportions, with muscles
that Samson himself might envy.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1888-11-13
Dtnand Fsr Heu.r..

Our real estate men and rental
agents complain of a scarcity OF
houses for rent. They have de
mands every day above the supply
and many people who would like to
stop here if they could find houses
to 90 into at once are deferred.
Yesterday one agent told US he had
seven families call on him in search
Of houses. Surely this is encourag-
ing. Ii at least shows that we are
known-that our advantages are
about TO be taken advantage Of. Let
the good work 90 on. But apropos
OF this, would it not be a good in
vesument for some one TO build
number of neat cottages for rent?
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1888-11-13
Turner NOTES.

Mrs. Shcr, aDd son VIII have re-
turned from Palouse City.
The r. r. carpenie,s are building
a much needed platform to the depot.
Mrs. w. c. Brown left Sunday for
her home in A-liOgton, accompanied
b. her sister, Miss Baker.
Calvin Neal, who had an attack Of
paralysis some time ago, is growing
worse.
Election is over at last, though
some are sill voting for president
focr Yeas hence.
Farmers are busy plowing for fall
grain. There VIII not be rs much
sowu as common, on the bottom.
Be,iug parties are paying up quite
a number Of small bets. Some get
new hats, new clothes and winter
supply o, beef.
Several Turnerites were down To
Salem Saturday night, TO celebrate
the victory. Also several passed
through irom Sublimity, among
them, Uncle Charlie Benson. He
says the celebration was immense,
and that he enjoyed himself as well
As in 1880, when he helped elect the
grandfather
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1888-11-13
Ana sun TAsy Come.

LAST night Frank Anderson, who
pleaded guilty 10 the then Of $4,000
from the Northern Pacific express
company, and was sentenced 10 the
Penitentiary for ten years, was
brought up from Portland.
His sentence was stay ed
few days after convic-
tion 10 enable him to see his family
once more before he entered upon
the eNpiation OF his crime, He is
the victim of despair and remor>e.
James Cummings also was brought
up. lie comes for two years for lar
ceny in Portland restaurant. The
other man Is II. Kohler, who is TO
serve a two years sentence for the
lAnCeny OF a shirt.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1888-11-13
LOCAL SUMMARY.

Superintendent Downing is visit
ing bis daughter, Mrs. G. A. Shell
brede, in Eoseburg.
bernhard ] ang today filed notice
Of final proof on his homestead
eight miles south Of Silver,on.
How appropriate it is that salt
Creek in Polk county should give a
democratic majority Of seven.
J. B. HorDer, principal Of the
Rosebrrg public schools, came up
this morning audisi1 Salem to day.
F. J. Catterlia, the celebrated
photographic arIist Of fSalem, wishes
to exchange work in his line for
wood 1d-2w
The loss by The fire Sunday morn
ing falls upon P. H. darcy, who
OWNS the building. He thinks he
is injured about 500.
Dugan Bros. have secured the
contract for furnishing the pumps,
etc, for the new system Of water
works at Baker city.
Our county commissioners have
refused to grant a license to Geo.
Scott to run a saloon in Horeb pre-
cinct on the nne Of the Oregon Pa
cific railroad.
Gerve:s VIII have a grand ratiti-
cation on tomorrow night. All
preparations are being made for a
big time and mary people are ex-
pected to be present.
1t is gid Mrs. F. y. @atbieu Of
ButtsvilIe is down with the small
pox. She aud ber husbeD nd nUrsed
an old Frenchman through an at
tack Of smallpox and she contracted
the disease from exposure.
Salem is negotiating for steel for
her street railway, and Will have it
TO the depot by the time
he Legislature coIvencs. NJ. |
E. Po.ue weIt to Portland yester-
iay to do some short Rand work for /
he state ipsU~auce Co. He talks of
ocatiUg IN Salem. n.-AlbaDy Herald.
Yesterday twelve lots, or one block, /
n Riverside addition, We're sold to .
,lr. Needham, late OF Kansas. He
will build upon them almost at
nee and make hispermauent home
.nong Us. The projected eSteosion
4 the stteet railway is doing much
o epbance real estate Interests
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1888-11-13

Sedgwick Womau's Relief Corps
Of Salem, might, with all ProprieIy
he termed a bee hive Of workers.
No sooner have its members furnish
ed the public with one entertain
ment or one work Of charity than
they begin another. They have
already had couple Of public en-
tertainmehts that have given gen.
eral satisfaction. They are now
preparing and will give, Friday
evening, the 10th, an entertainment
that will be a treat to witness. The
committee who have the work in
charge have done that work well
and those who attend will have an
enjoyable time. Remember their
hall is ovef the Grange store on
State street.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1888-11-13
Frou ne VALLEY to tAs Sea

A gentleman from Salem SAYS
that the hoard OF trade met Al Salem
Saturday 20 discuss the Astoria n,il-
road matter. Judge Baker of
Astoria was up 70 see them. He
said that contracts were being let Tor
CLEARING the right Of way for about
- miles lie said that they would
have no trouble in raising money 10
put the road through. The salem
people are doing all they can 20 get
the rOad 20 come thenc. They viii,
Il is said, offer a big bonus IL neces-
saTy.-Albany Herald.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1888-11-13
OVER THE CAPITAL CITY.
Complete Recital Of d, DAYS b,sis
8ni nsaz<
History-EvideHees Of Prosperity
Railroad MuTuc.s-ARou-
the Sick.


The only physician at ChampOel
is now down with the smallpox.
He has been treating it and S-tUi-
day the illness developed Oh him in
such a manner that he was forced
70 admit it to he smallpox. School
is still IN progress there and two
children attend from the family in
which he is being nur--d. This is
the same physician who treated
the cases at Nauig's and during al
that time the children in the
family with which he lived con-
tinued to attend school regularly.
1t is feared that through this reck-
Iessness the malady will spread.
Regarding preyentives, vaccina.
tion is the surest aud safest. Vac
cinate early and often. Live care
fully and do not eat largely Of heat
ing victuals. Keep the bowels in
good condition. The blood should
not be kept at too high a stage.
The frequent use Of lemons is re-
commended; cream tartar is also a
good tonic and purifier. The use Of
liquor Of any kind is not advisable,
nor the excessive Use Of tobacco,
but those Who care for nice ripe
fruit will experience no i'll results.
The best advice that can be given
to those who are likely to be or have
been exposed is to yaccinate. 1t is
the only true preventive. The
others arc only assistants, preparing
the system that it may more easily
Withstand a siege Of the dread afllic-
ton.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1888-11-13
Nors Ahout our Railre,d.

John a. Devlin has been East
negotiating for the railroad iron for
The Astoria 1 South Coast railroad.
Everything pertaining to the build
ing o. this road is progressing salts
factorily. The bids for clearing the
land have been let, the iron has
been bought ami the work of grad
ing viii commence just as soon as
the land Is cleared. The railroad
from Astoria 10 HllamoOk is an as
sured fact, and VIII be in running
order in less than one year. Men
will be put at work clearing the
laud at once, and there will be
plenty oiwork for every man in
Astoria who wants Pioneer.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1888-11-13

Why will you lay awake all night
coughing, when that most effective
agreeable remedy, Santa Able, will
give YOU immediate relief? SANTA
ABLE is the only guaranteed cure
for consumption, asthma and all
bronchial complaints. Sold only
in large bottles at S1.00. Three for
$3.50. d. w. MATHEWS & Co; los
state St, Salem, Or, will be pleased
to supply you, and guarantee relief
when used as directed. CALIFOR-
MA CAT-R-CURE never fails to
relieve catarrh or cold in the head.
Six months treatment Sl.O0. By
mail S1.10.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1888-11-13

Probably no one thing has caused
such a general revival Of trade al
Dr. H. W. CoN's Drug stone a.
their giving away 90 their custom
crs Of Somany free trial bottles OF
DR.. Kings New Discovery for Con-
sumption. Their trade is simply
enormous i'm this very valuable ar
ticle from the fact that il always
cungs and never disapp0iuts Coughs
colds, asthma, bronchitis, Group and
all other thr0at and lung diseases
quickly cuncd. You can test il b.
fore buying by getting a trial bot
tlc fnee, large size Sl. Every bottle
warranted.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1888-11-13

The Oregon Land COmpany's ten
acre lotsare selling rapidly, 10 having
been sold since the Sth Of sept. There
is no probability that 10 acres Of
good land within four milesofSalem
will ever again be Offered for $50 per
acre on easy terus. There are now
nVe houses in prOcess of construction
on lots alneady sold and noafs are
being opened and bridges built 50
that the value Of all OF the lots is
being rapidly enhanced. ANY one
wishing 10 buy ten acres of good
land for much les than the price Of
a city lot will do well IA look al this
property al once ~ there Is nodoubt
but that it win all be sold inside Of
thirty days. Call at the Office ofthe
Oregon land c0mpanv on Com
mercial street and YOU viii be shown
the property free of charge.
l0-ll-eOdtf