The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-08-27
BRIGHT BITS.

In THE SAME Boar
Since Belva Lockwood got into
The presi itntlal tuSSle,
The paraly <inG fact is learned
She doesn't IL hustle.
This ought not TO hurt her cause;
The simple truth Is, neither
OF the other candidates
Wears a hustle either
Philadelphia Press.
A GRASS" WIDOW always knows how to make
hay" whether the sun shines or not.-AIco
Record
How the father Of his country would store to
see the size of his family nowadays. PhfLddet-
phid Inquirer.
JuDaEs are the ones who lay down the law,
and when it is nicely laid down the lawyers
jump on it.-EDoch.
TIE untutored heather should be given credit
for having invented the modern bathing cos
tumes.-Lincotn JOurndl
'HE is a dreadfnlly dissolute fellow
Yes, indeed; why, even the change in his
pocket is loose. "-To0't Topics.
SUCH is the effect. of the climate in Kentucky
that even the ladies' when making dress, give
special attention to gOro.-EpGch.
THE WALTZ has entered upon its 1O1st season.
It would seem as if the waltz ought to be old
enough to be less giddy.-Hnper's BazGr.
OLD GENTLEMAN Ito boy in bookstand)-I
want a COPY of Jack, tire Giant Killer
Boy-Yes. sir; | s'pose yer goin' up to the
game this afternoou.-Ne,c York World.
''Now is the time to lay in your fly paper"
Yes we know it. We went home the other day
and laid i'll about three yards OF it that had been
put on the sofa to rid the house of tiieS.-
YonkeTs Statesmen.
CAtLER-Your little dog doesn't look very
well this morning Mrs. Hobson.
Mrs. HoDson-No poor little fellow The
baby's crying kept him awake all night, He
barked until nearly morniug.-Ltfe.
AN INDIGNANT PARENT, in rebukns a refrac-
tory SON. exclaimed "Rememher who you are
talking to, sir I'm your father"
To which the youth reioined: 30, come now
l hope you amt going to blame me for that. -
hoy Times.
A PHILOSOPHER pretends to have discovered
that people of small stature are better natured
than those of large size. Let him start out as a
book agent, and he will find that little woman
can slam the door just as hard as big ONE
LEIlcOtp Journal
BENEVOLENT DAME Ito tramp)-And so you
are always moving from one section of the coun
try to another? / should think home ties would
often make you halt.
Tramp-Pm often lame an halt, mum, but it
amt the home ties that does it, it's the railroad
ties Philadelphia Record.
WIFE (reproviugly)-The great trouble with
you is John you buy good many things you
don't need, simply because they are cheap.
That is false economy.
Husbaud-Uere is a lady s watch bought to-
day for $40 that's worth every cent of $50.
Wife-O, thank you. John; why, it was real
bargain-Nei1 York sun
FEArHERLy-Are you pretty full up at your
boarding house, DuInley:
Dumey--Yes, there are two brides, three
dowagerS, a grass widow, a retired army officer
with one leg, aud myself.
Feathery-rhat is a full household, for a
fact. What kind of fare do you get?
Dumley- Warfare-Epoch
STRANGER lin Boston street car, to aged citi
zen>-Excuse me, my venerable friend, but
think you have dropped your spectaces.
Aged citzen-That's something never wear,
sir.
Young lady-They belong to me, sir. was
about 10 ask the conductor to kindly come
to my assistance.-NeW ork World.
YES, father" he said to old Mr. EaYseed,
I've graduated and my education is complete
s'pose know about everything. Now must
chose a field where my a6i tiles can be used TO
the best advantage want large field where
Twill have plenty of room"
SON. replied the old man, there is the ten
acre cornae,d, and you kin have it all to your
self he ,per'S BGzdr.
WoMAN-Have you been a tramp long?
Tramp--Pretty much Gil my life, nia'am; it
runs in the family. My poor old father was
professional for twenty years, but the
other day he struck big luck.
Woman-Did he come into an immense for
tunes
Tramp-wen-er- not quite. Some in
iluential friends Of his got him into the poor
house.-Tinle.