The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-21
THE ROGUE'S RUSE.
s'saas Sss~so, -.,-5s7s~s:--
A NEW YORK HOUSEHOLDER's
VERY QUEER VISITOH.
Starting With Epilepsy, Drifting to
Thieving, Wandering to In
ventions, and Ending
With q Surprise.

is distinguished from its substantial
fellows of brownstone only by parti
cular episode which happened within it
doors.
Two or three nights ago, lank, pale
faced man, dressed in suit of black sc
badly cut that it hung in folds about
him, mounted the steps of this partic
ular house. He rang the bell, which
was answered by maid servant, who ran
away in fright when she saw the man
and called loudly for the master Of the
house. He came and was startled out of
his everyday polite manner by the wild
appearance of the straIger, who said,
while he trembled in every limb and his
teeth chartered:
"Beg pardon, sir, but would you mind
my having fit in your vestibule3 I'm
subject to them and hate to make a
spectacle of myself in the street,
This extraordinary request hoored the
householder. 1t was not within the pale
of his experience at all. He had never
been subject to epilepsy himself and did
not know what Co do with an utter
stranger suffering with the disease. But
in the kindness of his heart he sent the
servant for doctor who lived across the
way and went up stairs to his wife for
her advice and camphor bottle. As he
glanced over the balustrade on his way
up, he saw the stranger writhing in ap-
parent agony on the lounge in the lower
hall, where be had left him. He fastened
in his search and reached the head of the
stairs on the way down just in time to
see the man of fits get up, look stealthily
around and then sneak into the parlor.
The householder, descending the stairs
cautiously, reached a point where he
could see the stranger helping himself to
some small Japanese vases and rare
china cups which adorned the mantel in
the dimly-lighted room. Then there
was shout:
"What are you doing with those
things2"
The lank man dropped his booty, and,
after the crash of china, said calmly: 81
beg pardon, but I'm kleptomaniac."
The householder was even more aston
ished at this statement than at the re-
quest of the man which led to his intro
duction into the house.
"Don't use any violence" said the man
of fits, as he burst into tears. srll tell
you my story if you will promise to let
Inc go afterward, and tomorrow, if you
care to come to my room, will show
you some of the most wonderful inven-
tions of the age"
The householder, assuring himself that
he was dealing with crank, finally con-
sented to let the man 60 if he would tell
bis story:
~ may as we'll confess, said the lank
man, as he sat down, THAT the fit bust
ness is all put on. don't have fits, but
I suffer with passion for art, and have
worked that fit scheme to get into houses
lots of times, and then have made my
escape. You see I am frank with you.
I love bric-a brac, but I an poor. and
have to supply myself from the mantels
of the rich. Better than art, though,
and bric-a- brac I love invention. am
an inventor myself, and, as I promised,
will show you at my room tomorrow
some remarkable things"
At this point the servant returned, say
ing that the doctor was not at home, and
as she looked at the odd stranger, seated
comfortably in the parlor, her face be-
came blooming Interrogation point.
"As I was saying" continued the
shabby man, with an engaging smile, 6!
have q number of inventions, some OF
which I am sure are destined to make
countless thousands happy"
"You 60 to the theatre, of course Z
Ah thought so, and you dislike tall
hats Right again, I see. l have per-
fected plan for relieving ladies of their
hats which cannot fail of meeting their
approval, and which will place the the
atrical manager who adopts it upon q
throne of popularity where he will re-
ceive the homage of all men. You have
seen the wires and cups used for trans
porting change from the counter to the
cashier in our large retail dry-goods
houses Certainly. 1t is my purpose to
adapt this invention to the needs OF the
theatre. I have at my room an excellent
working model of my invention. pro-
pose the stringing of wires across the
theatre which shall lead to check room.
On these wires I intend to place hand
some gilded cages large enough to con-
tain q lady's hat. have cage to hang
over every other seat, and springs to pro-
pei it to place in the check room; Ine
lady arrives, takes her seat in the theatre,
languidly removes her headgear, hands 1t
to her escort, who places 1t in a conve'
nient cage, pulls the spring, and shoots
the hat to the check room, where 1t re-
mains until after the performance, when
il il shot back over the wire to its owner.
Nice idea, isn't it You shall see the
method of its working Tomorrow"
At this point the householder, lost IN
admira. ion of his strange guest, offered
him cigar.
CHOW, I have at my rooms, Sala the
guest, as he pulled rings of smoke from
bis cigar, "and you shall see that, too, a
verv Simple invention, which / have not
patented, but which has everything TO
commend it. There is q fortune IN lts
manufacture if I can get it patented. 1t
is a paper shirt bosom, but not like those
which have been made before. Nine Is
composcd of from twenty to fifty sheets
of linen paper pressed together like a
pad of writing paper. When one smoo1n
front becomes soiled all man mas TO ao
is to rip it off, and then he has beautl-
full, clean, fresh surface to display to the
world. These fronts will be nice thing
for busy business men and after pause
for reporters. When they happen to be
without writing paper all they have to
do will be to tear off a front and 90 to
work."
There was flash of silence after this
speech which was broken again by the
ingenious guest.
SsWith my other accomplishments ]