The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1888-05-17

through course OF study III tins
branch of business, he takes one room
at time, and addressinga p"ic young
'Banister Polisher" by the name Of
"Front," he begins to scatter intorma-
ton, baggage, towels, morning papers,
tables, etc, all over the house. It is
also supposed to be a great timc-Saver.
For instance, No. so wants to Know the
correct time. He moves all indicator
around like the combination on a safe,
reads a few instructions, and then
pushes a button, perhaps. Instead Of
ringing for boy and waiting FOR him
some time, then asking him to obtain
the correct time at the office, and come
back with the information, convcr>ing
with various people on his Way back, -
and expecting compensation fer it: the
guest can ask the office and receive tie
answer without getting ont of led.
You can leave call for 4 certain hour,
and at that time your own private gong
will make it so disagreeable foryo will
make it so disagreeable for you tnat
you will be glad to rise. Again, if you
wish to know the amount of your bill,
you 60 through certain exercises with
the large barometer in your room and,
supposing you have been at the house
two days and have had a fire in your =
room three times, and your bill, is
therefore S132.1S; the answer will come
back and be announced on your gong
as follows: One pause, three, pause,
two, pause, one, pause, eight. When
there is a cipher in the amount I 90
not know what the method is, but by
using due care in making up the bill
this need not occur.
For police and fire purposes, the sJ's-
tenn shows wonderful degree Of intel
ligence, not only as speedy method of
conveying calls for the Fire Depart
ment, Health Department, Department
of Street Cleaning, Department Of in
terror and Good of the Order, but it has
perfected a method of transmitting
emergency calls so that no citizen-no
matter how poor or unknown-need go
without an emergency. The citizen
has only to turn the crank of the little
iron martenhouse till the gong ceases
to ring, then push on the "Citizens'
BUTTON" and he can have fun with most
any emergency he likes. Should he
decide, however, to shrink from the
emergency before it arrives, he can go
away from there or secrete himself and
watch the surprise Of the ambulance
driver or the Fire Department when
no mangled remains or forked fire fend
is found in that region.
This system is also supposed to keep
its eye peeled for policemen and inform
the central station where the patrolman
is all the time; also as to his tenpera-
ture, pulse, perspiration and breath. It
keeps a record of this at the main Office
on ticker of its own, and the informa-
ton may be published in ~ne society
columns of the paperin the morning. It
enables citizen to use his own discre-
ton about sounding an alarm. lie has
only to be a citizen. He need not be a
taxpayer or roz 1ooputi. Should he be
citizen or declare his intention to be-
come such, or even though he be a
voter only, without any notion Of ever
being citizen, he can help himself to
the Fire Department or anything else
by ringing up the central station.
Electricity and Spiritualism have ar
rived at that stage of perfection wherea
coil of copper wire and a can Of credulity
will accomplish a great deal. Thetime
is coming when even greater wonders
will be worked, and with electric wires,
the rapid-transit trains and the English
sparrows under the ground, the dawn Of
better and brighter day will be ushcred
in. The car-driver and the truckman
shall lie down together, Boston will not
rise up against London, he that hereto
fore Stag shall 60 forth no more for to
slug, and men shall learn scrapping no
| more. BILL NYE.