Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-11-24
AMUSING PARAGRAPHS,

DID the legend Keep off the grass"
originate with the lawn order league?
boston Bulletin.
The counterfeiter is not man who
fits counter. A carpenter does that.
So does dude, sometimes
Record.
He has come to the Morgue to claim
lost relative: Has he any popularity
by which he can be recognized ?" "Ycs,
be is dumb"
PHILADELPHIA girl cat the seashore)
DO You ever find bottles which tell of
wrecks? Native mum; often
empty bottles.
THE street-car of the future may be
run after more scientific principles, but
the street-car of the passed is run after
most eagerly now-Puck.
In Japan the frog is the symbol
of falling water. The symbol OF
falling water in this country is the pic
mic. -B1UlingtOn Free Press.
REQUESTED to define the word "den-
tist," Saphir said: "He is q man who
pulls ont other peoples teeth to get
something for his own to bite"
PApA-Now run away, Bobby, papa's
busy. Bobby (holding up his joined
hands cupwise)-Drop a nickel in the
hole, papa, AID you'll see me go.
"GooD-BY," said Mrs. Yeast to her
butcher, as she was leaving the city for
the summer. 1--WE shall meat again in
the fall. Yonkers Statesman.
WHAT a rare smile Emily de Bryster
has" Rare | should say it was rare !
I've been watching her for two days
and she only smiled once. -Hd1per's
BGzaf.
HusaAND-I think we had better give
up our pew in the church for awhile,
my love. Wife Why? Husband-I
am going in the coal business, and l
hate hypocrisy.
HE--T see Miss Jones S back from
Paris. She "a spirited rivaD-I noticed
her dress was cut rather low, but
didn't suppose You could see her back
from that distance.
PRoFEssoR--Can any one in the class
tell M why the ancients believed the
world was square? New pupil-Be
cause they never had chance TO look
round to find out
Ar concert lately, after the ballet
lady had warbled "Would L Were a
Bird" great excitement was created
by n stalwart miner in the audience
shouting Would were gun"
DOES poetry run in the blood =
aske pensive-eyed poet of a country
editor. Il don't know, sir; but il you
bring any of your internal rot here
You'll find that poetry will make your
blood run"
De SMITH--What's the matter with
Lawntie? Trayers He seems to have
something on his mind. De Smith-lf
it's an idea it will give him brain fever,
as sure as the world. Burlington
Free Press.
THE papers are again printing IL table
by which to tell ones age. No woman
will look at t. She 60 sn't want to know
how to tell her age, and she wouldnt
tell it ii she did know how.-Bost0n
Transcript.
TIE stcr, otyped answer: Mr.. Inkling
twho aspires to authorship and matri
moAy)-We1, I've seen her. ] did it !;
it's over! All indeed, and what was the
result:' "Oh, just the same as usual !;
declined, with thanks"
IN Lyons, Fran Sc, merchant lver
tised "tlke-otf sale on thu American
plan, and it was q good take off, too.
The police took him off to Jail, and the
cour5 fined him $40 for adopting
American i'll aas.-DetroU Free Press.
THEY had been married month ::
She-Who's is 90? He--Oors. She
For ever. and ever, and over? He
Els, ] is. She-Has co dot five dol
lars for OR baby, dear? Ho-Thunder !!
no, Melinda. Think I'm made of money,
don't YOU ?--Tinle.
Mr.. WINES (at party)-Who is that
gentleman you were talking to? Mrs.
Wjuks i did not hear his name, but
he is some graGj scientist. How do
you know 80, from the awkward,
tomfool way in which he talks to wom-
en-. "-Philadeiphin Record.
AGENT-So you want pen sion, eh =?
Applicant that's what I'm here for.
You're a hea!thy-looking fellow.
What's your disability? Applicant
Caught cold in the draft Of lSG4.-Bur-
Euyton Free Press.
Nor favorite Of fortune: Young
man." lie sad, solemnly, do You ever
contemplate the time when you will oc-
clpy Il mansion in the shies?" A man
SION? No, sir; I'll be luc.iitr than I've
ever been in this world ii l Eot three
room flat on the on skirts. "-Li(e.
DID you baho these biscuits?" he
asked az the supper table. Yes,
George; / Md them eXpres sly for
YOU" 81 w.nlin2ly replied. And
vet, said George. yainly tying to pry
! open a biscuit, YOU have always told
me You loved M, and couldn't live
without mr!'-NorTistora HerHid.
They VIZ. talking about diving
Jon I've KIN ,Wn man to dive down
and come up seven y-five yards from
where II went in the water. Browl-
That's nothing. \ New Y TX cashier
| having robbed the safe of his employer,
in fit of ramors2 plunged into New
| York harlor. AMI two months after
| .,,-,o,l ~, -,