Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1888-05-04
uUsIgAI HUWBUggFRY.

MUSICAL HUEBUGGERY. q
From the Musical Courier. As the
season draws to a close we hear the
same old familiar remarks about the
musical humbug and how he has -four
ished like the bay tree during the past
year. From dale and hamlet comes the
usual cry, the burden of which is, Lord.
deliver US from the fraud teacher
Soon the summer. normal and teach
ers' associations viii begin, and ponder
Gus essays on the proper methods for
the speedy extirpation of the noxious
parasite alluded to above viii be dis
cussed; but at the opening of every
season the musical quack viii invade, as
usual, the realms Of harmony, and, like
the Australian rabbit, viii appear to
multiply more rapidly after attempts
to crush him a Ia Pasteur.
He is ubiquitous, and is not always
masculine, but the type is marked in
both sexes. If a vocal teacher, he has
from the depth of his inner conscious
ness evolved a method to enable his
pupils to sing with one lung only, while
the other is taking an atmospheric pic
mic somewhere or other. He is great
on the proper use of the Iarynx, and
believes in removing the palate at
stated intervals. His school of singing
might be called the @hemOrrhagic," and
he has been actually known to advertise
1t as "COlOratura taught with the use
OF the abdomen, perfect trills guaran-
teed IN 'steen lessons" He is a tiend.
for he IS running scores of fresh voices.
reaping harvest of shekels, bv no
means looks like a tramp, and is an
unqualified fraud
The vocal fraud abOunds in large
numbers, and is not confined to great
cities by any means, since ne infests
the small towns and prays on bucolic
ignorance as his first cOuzin, the potato
bug, does on the succu1ent tuber.
But what shall be said of the piano
fraud, whose name is legion, who
teaches stencil methods on stencil
pianos to stencil Drained pupils? While
his culpability is not as great as that
OF the vocal fraud (for a voice once
ruined is ruined forever, still by his
-A----AC e-o ICcAG-A444e5 lie - N4D1Ll2
able injury to the budding musical
talent Of the country. He is. as a rule.
a foreigner, and always a professor"
and, OF course, has a peculiarly con
structed brand of technic, warranted to
kill at forty PAGES. If he finds that this
Is not sufficient he calls in the aid of
the surgeons knife or of internal ma
chimes, yclept technical aids, and by
tOrturing the hands of these modern
Christian martyrs he generally EFFORTS,
by means of his pagan thumbscrews. a
confession from them. Yes, a confess
sion which, like all things of that sort
Is nil, but is nevertheless framed and
hung IN his musical studio, and is
known in the nineteenth century under
the euphOniOus and useful title of
testimonial" To their shame, many
good teachers allow their names to APP
pear, lndorsing these mechanical and
Ilgament seVering frauds.
How do the pupils of these fraud
teachers play? What Interpretation
but mere caricature can they possibly
give? Whether conservatory frauds or
private teacher frauds, the fruit is the
same. Immature as it is and bitter
tasting, 1t viii In a short time cause
collie for its patrons
What is the remedy for all this sort
OF thing. No earthly use in the period
zeal diatribes Of musical journals against
this, for, be it said with shame, "sten-
ell" pupils never read musical journals,
only stencil journals, and therein find
their needful mental and musical pabu-
lum. No earthly use either in appeal
ing to the legislature, since cases have
been known of the fraud conservatory
'fend" getting Stencil" diplomas and
recklessly shOwering "dOctOrships" on
people who cannot even play the pass
age OF the thumb in the @ major scale
without stumbling. What then is to
be done? Simply this: Let the Amer
lean College OF Musicians make the mat
ter an issue worthy Of their greatest en-
deavOrs to solve.