San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1888-04-06
ghe Daily Eight.
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FRIDAY, APRIL. 6, 1888.
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Z Always worn out-an overcoat.
There's pretty 60" said the man
when his beautiful wife ran away.
-"Why are people so anxious to make
both ends meet % asks the Mrs. Parting
ton of our clearinghouse. "Why not
make one end cake? ?"
l. -Crusty Pal don't approve of your
wasting your time over that funny COL
umn. 1t amounts to nothing: only SO
much gas"
Jolly Boy-''Yes pa; laughing gas" =
--"1'm lily" said the tramp. 81 toll
not neither do l spin, and I'll bet my
boots that Solomon in all his glory was
not arrayed like me.-Philadetphia Cal.
Georges l., H., III. and ~. of Eng
land showed the effects Of their dissolute
behavior in early life.
They were Rex many years before
they died.-LJe.
Funny man (of Chicago)-A sudden
feeling of nausea has come over me. 1t
must be something I've eaten"
Horse Editor (sympathetically)-Pos-
sibly its something you have written
Exchange.
-"Edward, what do I hear that you
have disobeyed your grandmother, who
told you just now not to Jump down
these steps ?"
Grandma didn't tell me not to, papa
she only came to the door and said, 4
wouldn't Jump down these steps, boys
and ! shouldn't think she would-an old
lady like her."-LOndon Tit Bits.
-"Why do you fill up your paper
with such nonsense as this ~ he said to
to the editor: "'John Smith, OF Pugville,
is in town, calling on his many friends. "
Just then the office-boy poked his head
in the door and said, "Mr. Smith, OF Pug
vile, wants fifty extra papers"
That's why" explained the astute
sditor.-Erchdnge.
In the Departments, $50 4. NJ:
Chief Ito industrious clerk Why
didn't you dot the in the last word of
your report last night?
Industrious Clerk beg your pardon,
but you see the clock struck four Just at
that point, and don't care to work over
time.
Chief apologies, and writes to the
Secretary in regard to allowance for extra
work. Washington Critic.
There was recently arrested out West
q tramp named Samuel Tired. He was
born that way.-Drdke's Magazine. a...
Couldn't Have Been Worse cester.-
4 cultured young lady from Worcester,
Wa at!Ulrlug Il iiir@c game IOrCcstcr,
When the Aldemcy bull
HoUket her sqUarViy and full
In her hustle, and skyward did bOreester.
-NelU Hdren NelUs.
off there is any thing that I do ad-
mire," remarked Mr. Blossoms wife, as
he was putting on his necktie, 'tit's a
sober tint" and Blossom looked in the
glass at his nose and wondered if his
wife was a sarcastic woman Washington
Grille.
"A suicide who killed himself with a
revolver said in his farewell note: ~
know it was foolish to commit suicide,
but please see that l get credit with the
public for knowing that it was loaded
Merchant TraCrLer.
-Husband-"Th photographer is
ready to take your picture, guess"
Photographer-"Yes, all ready; now
look pleasant"
Wife before the camera)-"My dear
think you'd better 60 into the other
room. "-Chicogo Tribune.
-"Do not swear" says a truly good
writer, "where your boy can hear you. "
That is excellent advice for the old man.
Now we will give the boys some equally
as good-"Never swear where your father
can hear you."-Blrdette. =
-"Say, pa, the paper tells about
elephants used at RangoOn for handling
lumber. l think they ought to use them
everywhere ?"
what for, Johnny ?"
because, pa, they are numbering things
anyway and have real numbering gate.
Boston Budget.
-Zeke breaking wood )-"My nanny
gibs me a penny cherry day for chopin
dis wood"
Abe (enviously)-"Am dat so? An
wot do 20 buy wild dat cent ?"
Zeke-"Oh, doan buy nothin', cause
nanny am savin' dem fer me to buy &
new ex when dis heah one gifts playet
out. ''-Hdrper8 Young People. -,
Several young men were sitting to
when a young lady happened to ap
as he thought the young lady looking al
him, said
"Well, Miss, do you want to eat me ?'
NO." she replied, "never eat greens.
Philadelphia News.
Young wife-"My dear, you were
the stroke oar at college, weren't you p
Young husband-"G love-"
"And a yerV prominent member o