The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1888-11-17
WE CAN LAUGH,
Although the Election Has Gone
Against us.


Although the. Election Has Gone
Against Us.
Hon. Chaunceyi NJ. Depew Of New
| York, who Is an orator OF wonderful
Brooklyn Republicans on the eve O
1--WE want something more In the
line OF protection than simply IN,
policy which will. develop our indus
tries. We want to project our Ameri
can homes. lCheers. Every prohibit.
ZIONIST knows that If the prohibition
vote In New York, In Connecticut and
in New jersey were cast precisely a
the general opinion of the prohibition
voter il on national politics there
would be no necsssiiy Of conducting a
canvass In these states. They would
be absolutely sure. But the prohibi-
ttou voter stands up and votes in the
air. Whys He says because he
wan,s 10 vote as he prays.
Z Well, man should tirst pray INTEL
llgently, then inielligently woik to
hrtng about the result OF his prayer.
CCheesf1 My prohibition friend, who
10 y Republican, betievss that In the
policy of revenue reform there Ia either
such 4 destruction of our productive
energies or such reduction uf our
wages that the conditnt Of drunken-
ness aud hOpelessness in which the
poor OF London live will be here re-
peated, aud NE casts halt vote to
iasten such misery AMI drunkenness
upon this country for all time to come.
He seems to have the philosophy
which was once expressed TO me by
our old friend, Horace Greeley.
Uncle Horace used 10 SIT In his study
with board close up under his nose,
writing, aud when he was doing this
II was dangerous 10 interrupt him. /
was once waiting for him to get
through with his leader, when y sub
scription flend came In and began to
press his case. Uncle Horace, who
was deeply absorbed in his article,
kicked at him ieebly, and finding that
he produced no tmpression,, turned
round IN rage and said: "What do
you want? Put It In one sentence"
And the subscription fiend said: ~
want \ subscription to prevent millions
of our fellow human beings from going
TO hell.' Horsce said: ~ WON'T give
you id cent. There don't halt
enough 90 there now - Tremendous
laughter and cheertng.1 'a
Who now teaches us that revenue
reform Is the policy Of the country ?
Mills OF Texas aud Breckinridge OF
Kentucky, Breckinrldge Of Arkansas,
Bayari OF Delaware, able and educated
men, who never heard the music Of
the spindle nor the sound of the hams
mer, nor saw the sky lighted with the
blaze from the stack of tho furnaces !;
who believe that the industrial possl-
'bilities Of continent can be measured
by the product of the blacksmith's
forge OF the villages where they prac-
tice law. [Cheers. These gentlemen
have fastened upon the Democratic
party free trade and with all the ext.
gencies OF the canvass there Is no
possible escape. They arc. like
neighbor OF mine In Peekskill named
Bill Gaadineer. He Is what Ariemus
Ward used to call an "amoosin cuss,"
and he had dog quite as amusing as
himself. 1t occurred to Bill one day
that 1t would be a good idea to get rid
of that dog, and he took an original
way to do 1t. He fastened q cartridge
on its tail with fuse at the cartridge.
He thought that like any we'll regula-
ted, ordinary dog with something
tied TO his tail his dog would imme-
run. Instead of that the dog
went into the parlor and lay down at
the fire. Bilps wife came rushing out
and cried "Great Scott, Bill, this dog
will blow up the house." Bill called
to the dog, but the dog came aud lay
down between Biips legs. "Great
Scott, Maria," said Bill. "This dog
will blow me up! Rats! Sick 'em!
Rats! Over yonder!" With that Bill
began TO run, but the dog stuck to his
heels, and the fuse was burning nearer
and nearer 10 the cartridge. Presently
he laid hold OF an apple tree and was
just going to climb up. When he
came to he was lying on the ground
with a few shreds of clothing on, with
his hair and whiskers sipged of, aud
with dog without any tail licking his
face. / am afraid that will be the
condition OF the Democratic party after
this election. much laughter and
long. E.continued cheering.1
Possibilities OF Republican Foley.