The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1888-07-26
lOhio State Journal.l
KnOcker VS.. Door Bell
BY Rev. T. DE WITT TALMAaE.

BY Rev. T. De WITT TALMAGE.
AS our readers know, the Rev. T.
De Witt Talmage, D. D., of Brooklyn,
the most popular minister in the
world, is away from Brooklyn enjoy
ing a tour This letter from his pen
is dated July 13, aud its subject is
"Knocker VS.. Door Bell.''
Here in this old fashioned country
house instead of the door bell we have
the knocker. | do not know that |
would like its startling thump all the
year round, but once in while | like
it. There is something thoroughly
honest in the stroke Of the old fash
ioned knocker. The visitor lets it fall
thrice, and then everybody in the
house, from garret to cellar, knows
that somebody wants to get in. But
the knocker has been banished from
all our city houses, and from many Of
the country houses, and the door bell
substituted. No doubt there are hon
est door bells which are a blessing,
but in our crowded thoroughfares
they become unprincipled and nui-
sance. When one is solitary or sad
it is relief to hear one of them jim
gle. But to busy life they become
a pest, sometimes almost uncomfortable.
When they call us to genial sociality,
or to sympathy with the grief struck,
or to PASTORAL duty, they are to be
honored; but they sometimes seem to
be bent on making a man crazy. We
have often gone out through the
kitchen way while our reception room
was full, and taken the railroad and
gone fifty miles out of town to escape
its perpetual assault and battery. We
have for the same purpose taken
steamer for Portland or Charleston.
When we had barn on our premises
in the out skirt Of the city we some
times went there to escape the tintin-
nabulation. One Of our anticipations
Of heaven is that there will be an abb
sence of this nuisance. There it goss
now! And it has been going all day.
First printers boy from book pub
Usher; then one Of the same kind
from magazine, both of these chaps
asking for more copy. Then came
woman whose husband is out of work.
and wants to know if we can get him
employment. Poor souls! How we
should like to help them! Then there
came committee wanting lecture.
Another committee wanting us to
speak at an indignation meeting. To
save time we deliver the indignation
speech there and then, only two for
an audience. Next couple to be
married; next, boy with a shoe bill.
Absurd! We have nearly worn them
out, and do you expect US to pay for
such an old pair of shoes as that?
Next, man who wants to lecture,
and would pay us well if we would
furnish him. a manuscript. Dear fellow.
We are not in the brain b1 okerage bus
iness. Chatter and bang again at the
door. This is fierce man, whose child
has been sick for three weeks, and is in
furiate that we did not know it, and
have not been around with pastoral
coincidence. By this time we are get
ting excited, and the door bell sounds
to US as loud as gong. A lady is
opening a boarding house, and she
wants to know if we know any board
ers. At her departure we take long
breath of relief and are about return
ing to our study, when clatter goes
the bell. A book agent! We see the
ominous bundle. and say: "Thank
you! Don't open it! Don't want to
buy" But says he: "You need not
buy. Only let me show it to you
THANK you, we have no time to look
at it ''It won't take more than
minute to look at it. All the other
clergy have taken the book. You had
better let me put down your name
for a copy" "Thank you; we have
all the facts Of that book in other vol
umes." ''But l want your name. 1t
will help me very much with your
congregation. By the way, would
you give me list of the more promi-
nent names Of your church?' mo;
we cannot give list "Well, sir,
let me present you with a copy of this
book, and then put your name on my
subscription book" No, sir! Our
putting our name down implies that
we have purchased copy, and that
would be falsehood." "Well, you
certainly want to help in the distribu-
ton of good literature, do you not?"
At this point we get unbalanced, and
cry out: ''Sir, we have been pestered
to-day with long procession OF
bores, but you are the biggest of the
lot! Now, get out of this house."
That was the first remark that made
any salutary impression, and he went
out of the room, not exactly shaking
off the dust of his feet against us as
witness, but leaving the mud Of his
clodhoppers on carpet and stairs.
Then comes in procession of people
wanting money for churches, for asy-
lums, for engine houses, for the poor;
others wanting letters of recommen-
dation or introduction; others want