The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1888-04-25
Pith and Point.

A New YORK physician says he is con-
tinually surprised by the increase of wealth
and power among the Jews.
IT is a little funny, isn't it, that draught
causes a cold, cures cold and pays the
doctors bill?-Phdddeiphia call.
A New YORK halter says that none of the
so-called Panama hats are made in Panama.
The best OF them, he explains, come from
Guyaquil.
THE records of the Grand Army of the
Republic are said to show that the death
rate of the city regiments was less than that
of the country troops.
IT would no doubt shock many an actress
who considers herself " star did she ever
by accident happen to read that word back
ward.-BoSton Transcript.
A MALONE, n. Y, carpenter, who went to
Los Angeles, Cal, few months ago. writes
home that there are at least 800 carpenters
there out of employment.
AN American who has travelled for two
years in Germany says he never heard one
German ask another to solve a conundrum.
They simply don't have any.-Detrou Free
! Press.
A CITIZEN of Eustis, Fla, is said to have a
combination tree in his garden. 1t consists
of a lemon, peach, pear grape fruit, persim-
mon, orange and guava, all grated on one
stalk and all in bloom.
81 SUPPOSE" said the reporter, d" that you
| IOunu great many ODleCIS Ue DcTtU III
Paris?" mo" said Mr.. Adams; " on the
contrary, it was the most immoral city
visited "-ChicdgO NelCS.
THE Empress of Russia has a house full of
seamstresses, yet makes nearly all the cloth
ing for her youngest children, and takes
their new hats to pieces and trims them
over to suit her own taste
THE late american Opera " lost $780,
600, and its lineal and risky descendant,
Mr.. Locke's " National Opera Company"
has also just " turned up its toes y at about
800 a toe.--Jeronle Hopkins.
A DARKEY preacher from Bath recently
admonished Geneva audience against the
sin of bribery at election, as follows Dis
ting of getting 800 for vote is all wrong.
Ten dollars is as much as it am wuth"-
! Palmyra Democrat.
NOBODY but millonaires on this coast
can afford to heap Goals of fire on their
enemies heads. Nobody foresaw when
that Scriptural injunction was written that
a forgiving disposition would cost SIG per
ton.-.Sdn Francisco Examiner.
MINISTER: 81 understand that you do
not believe that person is sufficiently pun
ished on this earth for his misdeeds." Neigh
bor /" Oh yes, | do now; but didn't until
| heard you preach" The parson walks on,
a little perplexed.- TOnkerS Statesman.
TEACHER Gnfant natural history class
You will remember that, will you, Tommy
that wasps lie in a torpid state all win
ter" Tommy with an air of retrospection):
"Yes'm, and I'll try and remember that
they make up for it in summer. "-LQe.
THIS is an age of dexterous mechanical
achievement In Augusta, Ga. the other
tay tree was cut in the forest at six o clock
in the morning, and by night it had been
turned into printed papers, and the people
were reading in them the news of the day.
A POET sings:
g. know that the pen will fall
From my nerveless grasp at last"
If he thinks we are going to feel bad over
this he is greatly mistaken. 1t is what we
have been waiting for. Let her fall.-BoSton
Courier
In society circles: Did your son take
the vaedictory in college?" said a gentle
man to lady who was enthusiastically
praisng the ability of her offspring. No,
indeed he didn't" she replied, with pride.
" He didn't take anything. He is the
healthiest boy you ever saw. washington
Critic
A Missouri farmer recently learned that
the grand jury was about to indct him for
working on Sunday. He didn'ttry to evade
the charge, but on the contrary had his four
sons summoned as witnesses against him.
He was fined 81 and costs, a total of So.
But as the mileage and witness fees of his
sons amounted to 5000, the family cleared
$40 on the transaction.
A TOURIST in India writes that he was as
tonished by the precocity of the Hindoo
children. Many of them are skillful work
men at an age when other children are learn
ing the alphabet One of the most expert
carvers in wood he saw was a boy of seven,
and many of the handsomest and most
costly rugs and carpets are woven by chill
dren not yet in their teens
AGYPsY musician in Hungary, going from
one village to another through the snow,
was followed by large wolf. A happy
thought struck the musician, and he began
to blow his instrument with all the energy
of despair. 1t had immediate effect. His
unwelcome attendant squatted down and
howled like a dog at the music The gypsy
reached the next town uneaten.
AN Omaha mother in great CONSERVATION,
it is said, rushed into the room where her
daughter was being married, the other day,
and forbade the ceremony. The minister,
who had just begun, stopped short, while
the anxious mother ran and ripped up a
corner of the carpet to see how the cracks
in the floor ran. 1t was found that they ran
at right angles with the young couples feet,
whereupon the happy pair were moved SO
that they stood in line with the cracks. The
mother heaved a sigh of relief and the cere-
mony proceeded.
uneducated persons to use big words, the
Buffalo Commercial records the following
"A gentleman, when in the BARRIERS chair
was somewhat startled by hearing the lat
Ter say, ne walters III lne ulnlnB-rOOul
last evening, sab, were casting insnuations
about your pretty daughter Doing what?
said our friend, while the blood mounted to
, his cheeks. Casting nsinuations about
your daughter, and after comparing in
situations the prevailing thought with the
majority appeared to be that she was the
handsomest young woman who had been
here this season. Our friend was relieved. y
A FUNNY incident of Quaker funeral was
noticed by Brooklyn correspondent. A
grave-looking gentleman with an unusually
tall white hat entered, and, seeing no rack
, in the hall, placed his hat on the floor just
behind the door. Pretty soon another grave
: Quaker entered with large, dripping UNI
brella, and peering anXiously for the
usual receptacle, saw in the gloom the hat
resting on the floor. His eye-sght was prob
ably poor, for he mistook it for one of the
new umbrella-holders, and in it he deposited
his dripping umbrella This was an eX
ample for those who followed, and in short
time the soemn-looking hat was staunchly
holding dozen umbrellas. At the end OF
the services the water in the hat was hall
an inch in depth.
THE following is boys composition about
Clumbus;" Clumbus was a man who
, could make an egg stand on end without