Wichita eagle., 1888-03-08
KNOTS FUNNY SPEECH.
THE KENTUCKY CONGRESSMAN TELLS
THE STORY OF HIS INSPIRATION.
A Serious Grafton Prepared but Never
Delivered-A Lobbyists Wonderful Ms p
Of Duluth Leads to . Brilliant Display
Of Congressional Humor.


Of Congressional Humor.
The red herdic which runs from the
Capitol to the White House was full the
other day, and stocky, portly, short man
hung on by the strap. He was cold and
his round head was we'll wrapped in a
green wooden comforter and his plug hat
was pulled we'll down over his brow. His
face only shone, but it looked like piece
Of rare china. The color was as rosy rs
the most florid Of Rubens' paintings, and
the eyes shone out through white winkers
as blue as midsummer sky. A short
moustache Of silver was the only sign of
whiskers, and the face was as round and
as full as that of the moon. He smiled as
asked him whether the day was as cold
as those Of Duluth. 1t was Proctor Knott,
Of Kentucky, whose funny speech on Du-
luth some fifteen years ago made him
famous, and who is now visiting Wash
ington and hobnobbing with his old con-
gressional friends. am told his speech
still sells, and saw some Of these Duluth
speeches recently at a second hand book
store, and was told they were worth a
quarter apiece.
Proctor Knott had no idea at the time
that this speech was going to make his
reputation, and it was an inspiration
which comes only once in life time. He
told me the story. He said: at was near
the close Of the session.. and was asked
to speak on the land subsidy bill in the
house. I prepared sober grafton, with
no more fun in its points than in the
moral law, and it was nearly as long. 1
tried to get the speakers eye, and when
the bill was about passing Holman was
preferred before me. asked him to give
me his right to the floor, or part Of his
time He told me he could not do it. At
last l spoke to the speaker and he said he
thought he could arrange to give me a
hearing.
NO IDEA OF HUMoR.
'This was several days before the
speech was made, and / had no idea Of
humor as yet A day or so later lobby
ist called upon me and told me that q bill
would soon come up to improve the har-
Dor OF Duluth. / asked him to tell me
where Duluth was. l knew, Of course,
its situation, but ! wanted him to under
stand that thought but little OF his bill
and be thus able to refuse hts request.
He did not see my irony, but be put his
hand In his breast pocket and pulled out
a map. Here was the whole civilized
world drawn in circles, and these circles
grew smaller and smaller until at last
they terminated in dot at the center, and
on that dot was printed the word Duluth
These were hundred mile circles. and the
distances of all the great cities Of the coun-
try were noticed, and their small dots
looked like hamlets compared with Duluth.
10 look At that map you would suppose that
If you wanted to 90 to Liverpool, London
or Constantinople you'd have first to go TO
Duluth for your start, and on the map were
printed statistics showing that there were
100000 square miles about that point
all tributary to Duluth. The bland young
man delivered his sulozy Of thi. mighty
embryonic city. and saw a. he did so
the chance for some fun IN the house. /
asked him to leave the map. and said that
l lived on little creek in Kentucky, and
that most of my people had never seen
ship. He did this. and he suspected
saying: MY. Knott, 1 hope ron
win study that map. and so for our bill
Il replied, ( will 60 it, but never saw
him again. As thought more over the
matter the fun grew upon me, and fosnd
that could make my speech on the land
bill and bring In Duluth. went 10 the
library and prepared some of the best
parts OF the hunor, and intended it enly
as an Introduction to my more sober
speech. When got the floor found the
house with me. and when my time wa.
could not so UP fror, the
ridiculous 70 the sublime wen. on with
the humor and dropped the .er.or.
oration, and the speech over which | had
spent days Of labor was never delivered.
The greater part OF the humorous speech
was the result Of the inspiration Of the
moment and while I made it / never |
thought that it would put the country
lpon broad grin. was a.tonished IRIS
next day TO find every one taking abort |
1 and that all my friends a. the Can;tal |
me unon it