Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1888-07-26
MEAN.

"Brayo, my child; you We're born actress"
eyes, sir, my birth was encored." "What
do you meana@ s'Im twin. New York
Truth.
'I believe in marrying somebody above
me" remarked the hotel foreman when he
welded the ffth-foor chambermaid. Wash
ington Critic.
AT Railroad Restaurant -Dumpsey (face-
tiously)-sIs this pie dateda"
Attendant-s'No, sir; it's made of prunes." !"
Burlington Free press.
The Conundrum Clubs Latest-The differ
ence between the Democratic and Republican
campaign gonfalons is enc Is bandanna and
the other is a dandy banner.-New York
Judge.
Tramp (despondentlyl- l-"Give me nickel,
guv'ner." Aggressive prohibitionist (grimly)
do ;yon drinkg" Tramp (brighteningl-
eyes, thank you. Where shall we goH'-
Town Topics.
To Finish-First Argumentatiye Caller
Ito second ditto)-"Come, now; I'll try con-
illusions with you" Miss Nettie (under her
breath)-"Oh, how hope You may both sue
ceed. Times.
Better than Burial-Chol1Y-"I say,
Binx, did you ever witness q burial at seat"
Binx-"No, never saw burial, but we bad
wake behind us all the way over last trip" !"
-Harper's Bazaar.
Washington Guide Ito visitor)-"That gem
tleraan is Mr.. Lamont. He is one of the
lions, you know
visitor-"Is hea' I s'posed he was. the
Daniel. THE Sun.
An eleven-year-old girl attempted to COM
NIT suicide in New York few days ago by
Jumping into the river. Her last name is
Hornbustle, but there is said to have been
another cause for her rash act.-Norristown
Herald.
Husband (whose wife has been reproving
him for smoking in her presence)-"You
ooh, Georgei do go love the 'odor of a good
cigar,n Wife-.sYes, that sort of thing is
part of a young lady's capital Time.
First tramp-ssWhat party is it that is in
favor of free whiskyen Second tramp Gn
disgust)-'tNo party. It's campaign lie.
I've worked every saloon in town, regardless
OF politics, and you can't get even smell of
liquor if you haven't got the cash. Wash
ington Critic.
Dealer-stJake, don't you think we'd bet
ter fake that sign: Goods sold at half price
for 10 days only, out of the widowaH" Jake
why, no, it's been in only three months.n
Dealer-stOb, is that all. It looked SO faded
thought the time had expired already."-
Detroit Free Press.
The day will come in this country when
the man who carries a cane under his arm
and the man who carries his umbrella on his
shoulder will be taken ont and hit with a
squash and hit hard enough to kill. Then
the woman with the baby cart wants to look
out.-Detroit Free Press.
HWhen Jon ask for my daughter, young
man." said the young lady's father, "do ycu
know you are asking great sacrifice OF metz
''N-not not necessarily, sir" responded Mr..
Hankinson, somewhat embarrassed, but anx-
ious to reassure the old man. "Mamie says
she doesn't care for expensive wedding. -
Chicago Tribune.
"Young man." he said calmly, sin the 81
lent watches of the night, when you are
wakeful and restless, do you not often feel In
the very depths of your being that there is
something wanting-something lacking"
''Not In the night, air." replied the young
man, "Im very heavy sleeper myself, but
do in tbs morning; and it's lively hustling,
sir, until get a cocktail. Adyer-
tiser.
"Rose Kacktus," exclaimed the gloomy
lover, "sinee you won't marry me I've moth
ing to live for. I'm going to shoot myself" !"
''Let me see your pistol, Mr.. Lariat." He
reluctantly showed it to her. "Shoot your.
self with 22-calibre popl" said the beauti-
full Arizona maiden eontemptuously, as she
looked at the weapon. eff you do, and it
hurts any, come to me and I will give you q
piece of court plaster Chicago Tribune.