St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-08-26
BOB BURDETTE.
There was young man at auiltin,.
Whose collar with heat was a within!
The warmer it got
Thn frpar he ..SIrnt.r,
IIO IIttI nc SWOI,
BE jabbers," says he, I'm miltin'.

| De JaDDerS, says ne, II IN q miltin'n
| ~
| Can this be true. that certain minis
tiers of the gospel residing in South Caro-
| lima have declared that cOIored people
| have no right to occupy orchestra chairs
or dress circle seats at the theaters?
wen, we should say not A pretty pass.
| indeed, things have come to when a
| preacher of the gospel can't 20 to see
La Tosca'' or the Fall of Babylon"
without being elbowed by niger. We
wouldn't preach in such an irrelIgious
| state.
John Sullivan, my beau, John,
For years it's been your way,
To get outside the jug, John
Say, several times day;
But time brings its reyenges, John.
AS time is apt to do,
And so at last the cold stone Jug
Has got outside of you.
~
"All flesh is grass" said the Doubter.
snow, I'd like to know how that can be.
Flesh isn't grass, nor anything like it.D
''But man is fool" said the deacon.
kindly, "or he wouldn't say such fool
ish things. Don't you know that we
get all our beef from the grass ranges of
the great grazing countries?"
~
Softly sings Lizette Woodwork Reese:
Give me perfect dream,
Find me a rare, dim place.
All right, LiZette; you Just put on a
last years bonnet and a homemade
dress and go to the Church of st. Dives
next Sunday, and if the usher doesn't
show you the dimmest place far back
under the darkest gallery in the hottest
corner, you may call at the box office
and claim the gate money. Want a rare.
dim place. do you? Go to Cape May and
take So room.
"You don't know how old you are?''
the witness; ''I'se ign'ant ole man: /
was BON in de ole times, an been
slave Ontil de wah. / donno how ole L
is" You must be over eighty?" sug-
gested the judge. ''Spec is. boss. L
dunno" ''Permit me to ask him few
questions, your honor" said the re-
porter. ''liave you all your teeth?''
Eyes, boss, aim got bad tooth in de
lot" Can you read fine type without
spectacles?' Yes, boss; can read de
fine print Bible OFF at arm length"
You never used tobacco or whisky?''
mo, sab; dunno de taste of lickah,
nor of tobacco" "Do YOU rise every
morning at o'clock?" always. boss
'And do you cut and split cord of
wood before breakfast everyday?''
''Dat's my unvariable habit, boss"
''May it please the court" said the re-
porter, Il know the witness; he is one
hundred and five years Old"
A friend, love-prompted to bestow
A gift upon my little boy,
A pet that with his years might grow
And be iii all his games joy,
Sent him, boxed up with cleat and Stat
A star-eyed, tiger striped cat.
We welcomed her with loud acclaim.
With answering plants the cat replied
And areiied her back, and shrieked her name;
Est. SPIT. Maria Braown! ~ she cried
And with shrill hospitality,
Called III cat TO share her tea.
Next evening, as she sat to sup,
Two neighb0r cats sat down with her;
And the next day third came up,
And brought u fourth to howl and purr,
And ere the week Us course had run.
We led nine eats. where we owned one.
And all the night and half the day,
We hear our eat I'm constant call:
Maria i,rsonni ~ BLACK, brintiie, gray,
Shrek in commingled caterwaul:
MARIA. You our' And shrill and clear
Our Cat replies, "Maria's here"