Morning journal and courier., 1888-10-17
FIGHT.

The man who found himself in tight place probably wandered into 8 saloon.- Yonkers Statesman. "Tired" customer tin restaurant)-Wait'r 8 (hic) rum omelet?" Waiter-Yes, sir, with or without eggsf- Truth.
 The new chief justice of the United States see considerable "courting" in his private as well as his public life.-Pittsburg Commer- cial.
 A Philadelphia chiropodist claims to make SIC, 900 year. For mere corn operator this is remarkable. What such man might do in wheat if he had the ehance.-Chicago Tribune. Here is Q question proposed among others by an Illinois school committee to some teachers: What Is g child? If defined as
 having spirit, soul, and body, what relation does the mind and heart sustain to either, or all threee Bride of two years (who has been reading Amelie Rives)-Do you think we will be hap pier in the next world than we are in this, lovea
 Young husband-Yes, dear, provided your mother goes to the other plaoe.-Town Top ics.
 He Bore No Maliee.-Bride of 8 month 'tWe must not forget the Goodharts, Alfred. If 1t had not been for their house party this time last year, we should never have met and married" Bridegroom of ditto-"Non- sense, my dearl they didn't mean any harm" Fun.
 First Rounder-You seem to be flush. Second Rounder-Yes; got lots O cash. Didn't ye see by the papers that Candidate Longpurse was in the hands of his friends! "Yes." "I'm one of his friends. ."-Philadelphia Record.
 ao" large your dog has 5sRs5 bigger than kitten" "Yes," returned Mrs. Lackheart in admira- tion, "as soon as he grows little larger am going to have pair of lovely slippers made out of his skin. ."- New York Evening Sun.
 Editor-"You say you wish this poem to be Contributor -"Yes; I don't want any | name to it." "Then can't publish it."
 "Why notf" "Because 1 am conscientious about this matter. I don't want an unjust | suspicion to fall upon some innocent person." Texas Siftings. s'Every rose has its thorn, you know, MT. | Willbe," remarked Miss Everglade, as she re- | fused him after years courtship. f'1 know" was the stricken mans reply; I "but roses don't eat caramels, go to the thea ' ter and wear iewelry and think I'll make my next venture after about twenty years' meditation. ."-Time. Woman (to office boy)-''I want to see MT. l Snuekles' Office boy-"What for?' 'sThat's | none of your business. I'm Mrs. Snuckles." s'No you don't ma'am; you can't come any games here. heard Mir. Shuckles tell some ! gents what he was out with las' night that he was single man. ."-Texas Siftings. There has been a terrible railroad accident, and the wreck of the baggage car was in 1 flames.
 70, my good, kind friendl" pleaded primaa
 donna, as she approached one Of the injured red
 broken. Won't you please pull my trunks
 out of that cara'-Chioago Tribune.
 Her father took her down town, and as ! they sat in the car there came in three old l maids of very severe and vinegary aspect
 They sat opposite the child, who gazed mu-
 singly upon them for some time, and then in
 a very high, distinct voice she said: "Papa,
 would you say that those three are prettyT'
 "Yes, my darling" said papa, and an ire
 pressible giggle went all around. The old
 maids got oif at the next corner.-SRn Fran
 ! cisco Chronicle.