The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1888-07-06
The DOCTORS DILEMMA.
The Hard Row when the Average rh,
zlciHa Has to Hoe.

The Hard How when the Average Phy-
siciss Has to Hoe.
The individual. no mstter what his
profession may be. who imagines that
he Is going TO give satisfaction TO the
general public In any thing he may
undertake. Is certainly the victim Of Il
delusion. It Is impossible To please
every body The man, be his station
In life what 1t may. who comes up To
the expectation of the multitude has not
yet been born. The editor. in particu-
lar. soon makes this discovery. The
clergyman also knows that there are
people In his congregation who are
neve; satisfied with what he does or
caves undone. The doctor In another
professional man who has hard row
to hoe.
II doctor dresses we'll and wears a
high hat, people say that he Is a medical
dude. IT, on the other hand. he pays
little or no attention to his toilet. then
he is accused Of lack Of dignity. II he
goes into society. attends balls and
parties. then the impression Il that he
is fishing for popularity. II he does not
he is accused Of putting on airs.
II the physician visits his patients
while they are in good health. he Is ae-
cused Of foisiin3 himself upon them.
He comes to the house In order to be
Invited TO dinner. If. on the other
hand. he never comes until he is called.
the Inference Is that the only use that
he has for his patients is TO make money
IT t,a.. 81 s.k Ia
doctor attends church. of course he is a
hypocrite who is trying 10 work on the
religious feelings Of the community.
II he does not attend church. nothing
can be palmer than that he IL an infidel
or socialist If the doctors wife does
cot return the calls that other ladies
make on her, then she il stuck up,
turning up her nose at her betters, etc.
Tf she does return the calls. then she is
flushing patients for her husband to
s.oot at.
II the doctors horse is fat. that is 8
sure sign that he has not got much u
do. Ifthe animal is emaeiatsd, he is =
brute for not taking better care Of hi:
horse. II he drives fast he is trying "a
CfFhhE TIC tdiSS titiNS1sos Asiftb hC hns
been called To the bedside of some inn
portant patient. II he drives slowly he
does not care cent whether or not hi.
patients die before he gets to them
II q patient RECEIVERS his health. he Is
indebted to kind Providence or a
strong constitutions, or TO the care tha;
was taken of him during his Illness.
In no case is the doctor entitled To AM
credit for his recovery II the patien
dies. he was undoubtedly murdered by
his physician. II the medical man !.
sociable ard talkative. the people say
We don't want doctor who tell
every thing he knows IL he is
silent man. then they say a docto
should encourage his patients 70 b.
communicative.
il he talks politics. they say that
| doctor should have no politics; and !
he does not talk politics. then he is
sneak and II time-servcr who either ha
no politics or il afraid to own up wha
| his politics really are. Ii he does no
send in his bill. his object i to proven
the patient from engS,ing anothe
doctor. If he does send in his bill, h
is in fearful hurry for his money. an
/ So ON to the end of the chapter. Terd
| Sif1iHgs.