St. Landry democrat., 1888-02-25
OLD CARL CUNDER.
He Turns Historian and Tells Some Stories
About Great Men.

| he IurnS Historian and Tells some Storles
About Great Men.
Now, shildren, if you come all aroundt
me tell you some shtories like she
vhas in der oldt country when [ vhas a
poy. Maybe you hat heard of Christie
pher Columbus? YesP Dot vhas a
great und good man. If it vhas not
for him we doan' hat some telegraph.
He also goes Ply Yorktown und makes
Lord CORVALLIS surrender. Eafery
pody loves him like her own
ladder. If it vhas not for him
we doan' hat some Columbus
Buggy Company. Dot vhas all
aboudt Christopher Columbus, except
dot he vhas poor 1nd honest und don't
go Ply der police court for shtealing.
Humboldt was also great man. He
makes dot first shteamboat on der Hud-
son river. When he vhas poy he doan'
shump on some sleighs nor call any
pody names, und when he grows oop
like man eafery grocer und butcher
vhas ready to trust him. No pody in
dis country would know dot Missis-
sippi river if Humboldt doan' come
oafer here und find him. I doan' know
if he had three wives, but he vhas
happy when he died, und more ash
forty hacks vhas in dot funeral process
sion. If eafery poy should grow oop
like Humboldt we doan' hat more ash
two policemans in der hull country.
Maybe you hear apoudt Queen Anne?
She vhas an awful good womans. She
like to come oafer to America und dis
cofer Lake Michigan, but she doan'
hat no time. She vhas sooch kind
hearted Queen dot she can't go down
Ply der grocery unless somepody yells
oudt: "Hurrah for our Amer If a
tramp comes along she gifts him SO
mooch money dot he vhas a bloated
bondholder right off By und by some
badt peoples make conspiracy on der
Queen und say she wears a glass eye,
und she feels so badt dot she buys an
asp und puts him under her corset und
vhas stung to death. If somepody like
to put oop grave-stone for her ship
in two dollar.
Dot shentleman named Nero vhas
badt man from way back. He doan'
care in der Ohio river vhas two hoon-
cred feet above high water mark und
eafery body vhas drowned oudt. Maybe
he vhas der first settler in Cincinnati,
but | dunno. Sometimes he sets all
der folks to fighting so he can enjoy
himself und sometimes he sets city
on fire und takes his fiddle und plays
''Saw My Leg Off," While all der houses
und peoples vhas burning oop. When
he dies eafery body vhas so glad dot
school vhas dismissed und nopody
works. Like tell you pefore, der
badt man comes to a badt end. He
may have some good times for leedle
While, but pooty soon he vhas goner.
Sheorge Washington vhas boss fell
Ter. If hat some poy like he vhas I
vhas tickled all oafer. One time his
ladder take him oudt pehind der house
NIT whip in his handt und say he shall
take off his shacket. Vhas dot poy
afraid? No, sir! He looks up to his
ladder NIT a beautiful shmile on his
face und say: "You vhas bigger ash
me, und you can lick me in two rounds,
but doan tell some lies. 1t vhas me
who goes oudt und finds Lake Erier'
Und ash man he can go down town
und borrow money of a hoonered men,
und he doan' pay no fare ON der bob
tailed cars. He discovers der Andes
Mountains und makes der first print
ing, und when he dies eafery pody vhas
too sad to speak, If l vhas like him /
gif you two-dollar- und-a-half. Detroit
Free Press.