davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20
BRIGHT BITS.

ToCnTsTs report that this is a delightful time
TO visit the mountains The hotels are all closed.
philadelphia CoU.
NINE. PATTI N1coL1NI viii have forty-three
monster trunks to carry her wardrobe on her
tour of South america. Her "Traviata" COS
tunes alone cost $1,000
LAY GoULDs ADVICE to boys is, Keep out Of
bad company and 20 to work with will " And
If you can't keep out Of bad company, my boy.
do as Jay does and wipe out the company
Boston Transcript
DEATH has played dirty trick on this town, W
SAYS an AGizo a paper. by sneaking in upon us
and bearing off the only bartender who knew
how to mix Tom and Jerry to circulate through
the system. '-Detroit Free Press.
FIRST THrEF-Hello Bill, still burglarin'?
Second Thief-No; I've found something safer
than that.
"Ehg What yer dom now?''
"Runnin' a railroad restaurant "-O Omaha
World
SOME of our gunners, in their wanderings after
game in the vicinity Of this city, are apt to be
confronted with this sign: Any purson ketGhed
on theSe grounds, or cows, or Wluln Will oe
libul to tine insef into a skrape. '-HdUre de
Grace Republican.
Tue effect on St Nicholas Of our higher educa-
ton: American youth (aged 6)-Now if the
effect Of so bolts of electricity is equal in APP
piled force to--Santa Cleus-Holy Grail is
this the youngster that I've brought yellow
monkey on a red stick for?-Judge.
How is the feud between Col. Blood and Maj.
Bluegrass getting on: Are they as bitter as
ever?'
oh no; the thing is happily ended"
I'm glad to hear that"
Yes, they killed each other Life.
WHAT can you tell me about Esau?" queried
the pedagogue.
''l->e,u, responded the youth, with the glib
alacrlty of one who feels himself, for once on
safe ground; "Esau was awriter of fables, who
sold his copyright for bottle of potash
CHRISTIAN Union.
JAY GOULD has smoked but one cigar in his
life, and he is worth $50 O00,oO0.' He is prob
ably the only man in the country who has saved
so much mo ey by limiting himself to one
cigar. Many persons have saved several hun
dTed dollars in the course of forty years by not
smoking, but they haven't got the money, nor
anything to show for it.-Norristorn Herald.
''YEs, indeed Miss Clara" said he; II have
been in great periis. don't you know? One time
on a train out West, don't you know. we were
stopped by the train robbers, don't you know,
and one fellow, terrible brigand he was, you
know, put his pistol TO my head, and he said:
Your money or your brainS' and pom my soul.
Miss Clara, had nothing for him. The Judge.
BOBBY TO Mr.. DeRuyter, who is waiting for
Miss Jenny to come down(-Win you please
stand up minute?
Mr.. DeRuyter (who knows that Jenny dotes
on Bobby Certainly, Bobby.
B.-No. not there; over here by the window
Der. standing before window)-There; will
that do9
B.-Yes Takes long look at Der, and ap-
pears disappointed)
DeR--W6at are you trying to do. Bobby.
B.-Well Jenny said last night that she could
see through you easily, and l wanted to try you.
It'd Bits.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20
RICHARD HARRIS,
Died Feb. 10 1877,
OF Deliiium Tremens,
Aged II Years.

On the evening Of Dec. 10 a drunken fellow
refused TO pay his bill at n restaurant in Mar.
boDne, France, and was taken to the police sta.
ton. He said he was Catholic Priest from
Persia, and was called Felix Andreas .Tacobo
lie said the Bishop of Ispahan had sent him to
Europe TO collect money for building a church
a the capital Of Persia. Jacobo had a large
book with him, on the first page of which the
letter of the Bishop commissioning Jacobo TO
travel in Europe and make the collections Tor
the Bishop was found written in Pc rsian. and ON
the next page was the tran lation OF the letter
into French, made and atteSted by an official in
terpreter at Mafseilles, France. On the follow.
ing pages were found q great many names of
France and If Jacobo got all the money SUI.
scribed he had enough to have built the church
TWICE over. But he had not more than &C. ~ his
pocket and, having never RENTED any money
20 the Bishop, all the money collectei seems to
have flowed through his throat. The authorities
are still investigating the strange case.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20
How Mr. Depew Prepares Himself for
After-Dinner Speeches.

FROM the Pbttddetphtd Ptbttc Led9ef.
BY common consent the clevcrest post pran.
dial orator in New Xork-perhaps in the United
States-is Mr. Chauncey NJ. Depev, Presid mt
of the New York Central and Hudson railroad.
How ne manages to eat so many good public
dinners in qlick succession, and to make 50
Inaay capital off hand speeches that keep the
table in a rOar' has always been a mystery TO
his friends but in a confidential talk with one
Of these he incontinently lets the cat out of the
b < "Al my speeches, he says, are not so
carefully prepared as you think, When have
a set Grafton to deliver, as do have three or
four times year carefully write down my
exact language. No, I don't dct.te it, for the
choicest expressions can never be formed eX-
Cept at the point OF your own pen. on those
occasions ! read up on the subject with great
thoroughness. digest the mass OF matter with
great care, and then I generally write the
speech at two sittings IN such efforts | find
that pat expressions come TO me in church
sometimes sometimes in my bedchamber, at
the office, or in talking with friend. A speech
of that sort is not the WORK of half an hour, but
of weeks, or even months"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20
manciceted.
From the Boston Globe.

From the Boston Globe.
He's not Of age, this boy of mine
In fact, he's only five;
Yet of creations rulers there's
No bigger lord alive
Upon his baby brow there sets
The very crown and front
OF Sovereignty iron will
Is in his naughty won't"
Already in his mind he is
A little man bedight
In knickerboc&ers registers round,
Just spelling for fight.
He orders nurse to clip his hair,
Nor spare a single curl:
Il don want petticoatS no more
guess | amt a girl.'
Long since he mastered his mamma,
And bullyragged his bonnie,
The tiny little tyrant, Ted,
Who's just put breaches on.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20
INDEX TO new ADVERTISEMENTS.

MEETNes-Puaski Council No. 1873, r. A.;
Myrtle Lodge No. 6, K. P; Landrum Lodge No.
4S, F. and A NJ
SPECIAL NoTIcEs-Centennial Anniversary of
First Colored Church; The Mendelssohn Con
Certs; Turkeys, J. S. Collins & Co.
STEAMSHIP SCHEDULE-Ocean Steamship Co.
SAW Mills. RAILROAD Iron AND LAND ron
SAIE-Crovatt & Whitfield, Brunswick, Ga,
AUCTION SALE rockery, Glass Hardware,
Etc, by j. Mclaughlin & Son
CoRN-Bond, Haynes & Elton.
CHEAP COLUMN ADvERTIsEMENTs-Help Want
ed; Lost; Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20
All Parties Honor Him.
From, the PhjiadeiJ,hi1 Press Rep

From The PhiIGdcIpbin Press RepD
The news of Speaker Carlises illuess, which
appears TO be much more serious than was at
first supposed, viii be- received with general
regret by all classes OF the people. Mr.. Car
isles integrity as a man ard his fairness II the
important and trying position be occupies have
won him large place IN public respect, and the
hope that his Illness may be briet and his re-
covery rapid will he as broad as the country
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20
The Joint Letter.

From the Mem YORK Sun CDem)
The joint letter Of Mr. Cleveland and Mrs.
Cleveland, expressing their regret at not being
able 10 attend the Old Guard ball last evening,
is perhaps the first mssive OF the sort ever sent
forth from the Executive Mansion. 1t is at the
same time q graceful innovation in social ETH
quette, recognition Of domestic equality. and
double autograph which any man might well
prize as u souvenir.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20

A Washington correspondent has noticed
popularity about Messrs Blair and Call.
Each of the two Senator'S" he says,
''wants every document he presents to the
Senate to appear in the Congressional
Record. Petitions are not read, as q usual
thing; bur whenever either one OF these two
Senators offers petition he reads it in full
himself so that it will appear in print
Nothing but that read or spoken appears in
the Record; so when they read petition it
gets into that publication. -
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20

An enthusiastic Democrat thinks that I'M
less the New York Republicans reconcile
their differences by next fall that State will
give a Democratic majority of 10000. The
Democra don't want the earth. A COM
Portable majority will do. One of /, 100 put
Mr. Cleveland in the White House for four
years
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20
Why He Smiled.


Senator Kenna returned from trip to his
West Virginia home to-day and his face was
wreathed in smiles as he received the Congratu-
lations of his brother Senators. "keuna num-
Der six Why, Kenna, | thought you had ut
tie boy few months ago. said brother Sen
ator.
80 we did-so we did, replied the young
Napoleon of the West Virginia Democracy, but
want you u understand that the vote IN our
State is getting very close
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20

Guests in the New York hotels in future
can have wine served with their meals, or
in their rooms, without any fear of violat-
ing the Sunday liquor law. That is what
the Court of Appeal of New York says, and
there is no appeal from its decisions on the
Sunday LIQUOR law question.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20

Senator Hampton is said to have intro
duced bill into Congress that is attracting
attention. 1t authorizes the government to
appoint pro. essional horse trainer to go
about the country and impart knowledge
concerning the best methods for caring for
horses. The trainer is also to publish book
for public distribution describing the secret
methods of subduing vicious horses A
correspondent sugs ests that, as the Sena-
tors successor is soon TO be elected, he is
trying to improve his chances for renomina-
ton by catching the farmers with this bait.
That is hardly proper statement Of bis
purpose. He probably wants TO provide
against losing the other leg by being thrown
from the back Of vicious beast, and very
likely the scope Of the bill extends to mules.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20

The manuscript of Senator Ingalls, polit-
ical novel and the material for history by
him were burned with his home However,
the country will not suffer for the want of
fiction or so-called history.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20
SHOES.
AN OPEN GUARANTEE.

For every pair of Shoes sold
with my guarantee and not
giving satisfaction [ will make
them satisfactory. [ am aware
that Good Shoes and the Low.
est Prices are the only means
of gaining supremacy; and as
special favor will ask you to
inform me of any Shoe not
givingsatis faction, Ny stock
of Shoes for Ladies, Gentle.
men, Misses and Children is
complete, and cannot be ex,
celled anywhere.
Every lady is cordially in
vited to call and see me. You
will have the most polite at
tention whether you desire to
purchase or not.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20

The Doodle briber of New York, Jacob
Sharp, is afraid that he will die before
certain lawsuit he has on hand is disposed
OF, and he has made an affidavit to that
effect. Mr. Sharp has been talking about
dying for good many months, but is still
IN the land of the living. The probabilities
are that he expects TO so neither TO the peni.
Tertiary nor the grave yet awhile
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20

The sugar planters of Louisiana do not
look with favor upon the proposition of
Senators Hiscock and Sherman to give sugar
planters a bounty and to remove the sugar
tariff, and they are right. Tue sugar duty
Is a revenue one and should not be touched
until the prohibitory protective duties are
reduced
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20

DR.. DeBausset, of Chicago, has invented
flying machine, and wants Congress to
help him to launch it. lie says it will do
as much for humanity as the telegraph did,
and as the government aided Morse it ought
also to aid him. If the machine can be
made to carry DeBausset out of the country
its utility will be established
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20

Mayor Hewitt has adopted the plan of
sending in his message by installments. Part
ii. was transmitted this week, and it was
concluded with the assertion that part Ill
would relate to the subject of city improve
ments. This is somewhat out of the usual
order, but it may work well, by causing the
Aldermen TO consider in all its bearings one
phase of city government before they take
up another.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20
ought to Speak in Short Hand.

From the Chicago Netrs IndD
There are four short hand wr.ters among the
members of Congress but it is believed that all
the members are long hand takers
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20

Most of the newspapers refuse to be led
back into discussion of the CandlerAb-
bolt episode by the Rev. Mr.. Kelly's recent
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20
CURRENT COMMENT.
From a Republican Standpoint.

From the Baltimore american Repl
i might be a good idea 10 have all the tariff
debates conducted IN NUlapuk.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20

A few ministers in different parts of the
country have critisized the President quite
severely, and Of course unjustly, for pre-
senting to the Pope a copy of the constitu-
ton, One of them said that there was 10th
honey and sting in such gilt. Freemdn's
Journal, Of New York, in replying to these
criticisms, explains the circumstances Of
the gift as follows. The President con-
suited a great dignitary of the church.
familiar with tie mind of the Pope, as to
what present would be most acceptable to
Leo XIII. on his Jubilee. He was Informed
that nothing would please the pontiff better.
than a copy of the constitution of the
United States. No sting was thought Of
by Pope or President"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20
Dyspepsia and war.

From the Boston Giobe tDenl)
The Car is suffering (rom dyspepsia the ca:
ble says. Now look out for more threats OF
war
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20

Senator George, of Mississippi, cannot be
called dude. His clothing is said to he
rough and oct of style, and his linen is not
always as white as snow. He carries an old
open-faced silver watch, which affords q
good deal of amusement for his brother
Senators and the pages. When be pulls it
out the Senators look at each other aud
slyly wink, and the pages frequently ask
him the time of day for no other purpose
than to get sight of the curiosity. II is
anchored to a shoe-striug and is carried in
his breeches pocket. II it keeps correct
time it. serves its purpose, and the Senator
would do well to reflect before he discards
ii for a handsomer one.
The letters addressed to intended dupes
by the green goods men do not put the
recipients characters in very favorable
hight Here Is one that was lately received
by a Congressman: Your name was sent
10 me by reliable person in your town.
He said he knew you to be a man who was
not averse TO making money in any wav,
manner or form, and that he knew you were
up to snuff. am dealing with prominent
men in your county, some of them holding
high positions"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20

writer in Harper's Young People de-
nounces cigarette smoking, and wants
parents to break their boys of the habit by
laughing at it. 1t is feared the plan would
not work. A more effectual one is suggested
by the fact that in some of the towns along
the Hudson river the stores display this
siga: mo Cigarettes Sold to Boys"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20
Savannah Harbor I terests.

In our dispatches Yesterday it was stated
that there was no probability that the river
and harbor bill would be ready to be re-
ported to the House before March. That
means of course that the House will not be-
gin to discuss it before next summer.
The probabilities are that it will not
be passed before July or August, and that
no money will be available for rivers and
harbors before next fall 1t was reported
some days ago that the River and Harbor
Committee was thinking of taking up the
last river and harbor bill-the one the
President vetoed-and increasing, in &C
cordance with the necessities of the various
rivers and harbors, the appropriations there
in mentioned. 1t is hardly probable that the
committee viii do anything of that kind,
and the interests of Savannah harbor require
that it should not. That bill provided
very small appropriation for Savannah
harbor, and the estimates for the compile
tion Of the present improvement for % feet
of water and for beginning the improve
ncnt for 2S feet call for very large sum.
The hope of getting anywhere near the APP
preparation these estimator require depends
to a great extent upon an altogether new
bill.
No doubt Representative Norwood will
do his best to get such an appropriation as
the harbor is entitled to, but he ought to
have help. 1t is doubtful if delegations of
citizens do much good. They have but
few minutes to talk to the River and Har-
Dor Committee, and they are seldom well
informed on the points on which the com
mittee desires to be informed The man to
talk to the committee, and the one who
could do more for Savannah harbor than
small regiment of earnest, enthusiastic, but
not well posted citizens. is the engineer in
charge of the harbor improvements He
knows all about the improvements, the
necessity for them and the importance of
the commerce which they are TO benefit.
He is also very anxious TO see the improve
ments pushed forward as rapidly as posi-
bic. Why not invite him to represent the
Savannah hasbor interests at WaShington2
The Brooklyn Eagle says that "the theory
that Billiards are the result Cf magnetic
action superinduced by the network of rail
road tracks in the northwest is received
with incredibly by most scientific minds of
that region" OF course it is. Why shouldn't
it be- Doesn't the scientific mind of the
Northwest know that billiards have been
visiting this country ever since Mr.. Seward
purchased Alaskal Their home, Alaska,
having become part of this country they
take it as matter OF course that they have
right TO roam where they please in the
United States
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20
Mr.. Small and Mr.. pixev.

The Rev. Sam Smalls tongue seems to be
very unruly one. Unless he brides it, it
will get him into trouble. A few months
ago he said, in effect, that there was ballot
box stufting in the South 1t turned out
upon inquiry that his assertion was based
upon little ballot box stufflng that be did
himself some years ago. His statement of
his personal experience however was rathe
unfortunate, because, being a Southern
man, and just now one of considerable
prominence it was quoted against the South
by the bloody shirt organs.
Mr.. Small was again guilty Of intemper-
ate speech when, on last Sunday, from a
Kansas City pulpit he attacked Mr. Henry
E. Dxey, an actor, calling him a blackleg
and expressing his surprise that the people
of that city should recognize such man by
attending his performances Mr.. Dixey did
not overlook the attack. He retortcd in a
way that was more forcible than elegant
Mr.. Small, no doubt believes in liberty
of speech, and has the courage of his con
victions, but unfortunately he confounds
liberty with license. He may know great
many men whom be believes to be dishonest,
but it is bad policy to proclaim his belief
from the housetops, or, more strictly speak
ing, from the pulpit Such a course
would not only fail to bring about their
reformation, but it would probably
involve him in personal difficulties and
libel suits. 1t might be we'll for him to CON
fine himself to denouncing sin. and to omit
politics and personalities from bis discourses.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20
How Sunset Coz Came to the Rescue.

from me EbNdQetphjd RcCOfd.
The other day when the House was consider
ing the Senate bill creating anew the Office of
United States Fish Commissioner at a salary Of
5000, some thick-headed member who did not
even know that Prof. Langley had already taken
Prof. Baird place as Secretary Of the Smith
sonan Institution, thought thaSCongTeSs ought
to wait till the President Could'f find a man who
could do all that Prot. Baird did-administer
these offices on one salary. Cox, who is one of
the regents Of the Smithsonian Institution, eX-
planned the situation very senSibly to the
wooden heads. Then he got funny and said a
few words about fish generally.
Mr.. speaker there never was an interest in
this country So cared for by the government a.
this of fish. Our first efforts at least in New
England began with fish. When our ancestors
went to King James for charter to go across
seas and cOlonize Massachusetts the King asked
the Purtans What is your obiect:' Their
anwer was: To worship God and catch fish.
Then the King rejoined: Il give YOU the char
ter, fore Cad! 1t is the apostles own calling"
Why, sir, even in the early churches of New
England the early and piOuS persons used to
sing:
Ye monsters of the bubbling deep
Your Makers name upraise
Up from the sands We c0dings peep
And wag your tails always
In later times New England has obtained Con
gressiOnal enactments giving her free salt for
her fish, while the miserable man in Chica po
cannot get free salt for his pork
And then he wound up with the cheering re-
Election that the President, being himself an ex
pert fisherman, would probably be able to pick
out a good Fish Commissioner Now that all
seems very queer for man who has been in
public life over thirty years but yet it has its
brains OF the billiards, for the speech passed the
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20

Senator Butler has placed before the SEN
ate Committee on Post Offices, for its con-
sideration, the following letter received by
him from citizen of Charleston: Il am
requested to use whatever influence / may
possess in having changed the present law
which enables paper-back novels, blood-and-
thunder stories, to he sent through the
United States mails as second-class matter
at lc. per pound, while all school, law, sci
entitic aud religious books, Bibles, etc. are
made to pay Sc. rer pound. Most of the
novels sent at lc. per pound are said to be
trashy and injurious reading. 1t is desired
to make all pay alike; say Sc per pound.
The objection to the existing laws appears
to me to be well taken. If YOU agree with
me in this respect, | should be glad to have
you use your influence to bring about the de-
sired change If any change is to be made,
why not reduce postage on the higher order
of books to L. per pound3
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20

The mail carriers IN many OF the large
cities Of the Union are petitioning Congress
20 increase their salaries Ii is stated that
the flrst-class carriers want 500 month,
while the auxiliaries will be satisfied with
$500 year The petitions ought % be care
fully considered, and ii the compensation is
found to be not in keeping with the duties
p rformed, it ought 10 be increased The
carriers do not have very easy time Of it.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20

A saloon-keeper in Washington, named
James b. Beck never gets any Of the Sena-
tors mail, but Senator Beck frequently gets
the Saloon-keepers, and the other day he re-
ceived "A bill for several barrels of whisky
As he is very moderate in the use of that
article, and as his constituents generally
send him at Christmas as many samples as
he can dispose Of during the year, be was a
good deal astonished, and is said TO have
used some vigorous iangage His clerk set
him at ease by explaining that it was proba-
bly, intended Cor his nnmesal,n