Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1888-07-20
HUMOROUS.

All knotted up-The steamers spec.
The child of the sea- The harbor
buoy.
A bowling swell = The sea in
storm.
A carpenter isn't needed to frame an
excuse.
Way was certain race horse appro-
pril Iely named "Bad E5gr He cou'd
nc, be beaten.
Sailor: did you ever see vessels in
fght2' Landsman: No, but I've
seen a ship SPAR"
The hungry, shipwreoked sailor,
ciinging to the raft in mid ocean, always
- --sss.vS .----us- ss..s .f,arr1t ss,aaalc
spanish aud English2 Fan cior-C.r-
tainly; it's polyglot.
A mustard plaster does NOT seem
smart at first, but it makes its impres.
sion by hard, steady application.
You can never convince the fellow,
that are locked up that stone walls do
not prison make nor iron bars a caoe
The next report of the agricultural
department should give u, some stats.
tics as to tho number OF rakes in society.
Omaha Councilman Oraveling i,
Europ0-'Whafs them bluffsw Ma.
tivc-"Thosc, sir, are tho Alnsn
Hlmph They need grading badly.n
Nothing can equal the postage stamr
Tor eyenness of temper and calm. You
can HEX it until it p2rsplre5 in every
pore, but it won't even change color
American genius should utilize the
grasshoppers. There is no doubt tbev
could Le dried, puverized and made
tosoup cakes for use of the army and
navy.
1t IS an interesting psychological fact
that when man slips down by stepping
on banana peel, he always looks as
though he would like to step on the
peal OF laughter that follows.
Clarissa writes to ask 'ff there i
anything to prevent a woman from be.
coming president of the United States u
There is, C'arissa, there is; and the
thing is commonly called votes.
Young Mr.. Guy aIwoy, interested in
the study of owls, tired to 90 below.
lut found the com mpanion door of the
ocean steamer locked. MY goodness"
he exclaimed, I'm decked out tonight.
or sure"
Smith listening from the ,fiic3 win.
low to a couple of Italian counts grind.
ng hand organ@- Wonder if those
ellows are playing in opposition to
ach other" Jones mo, they seem to
re taking turns"
Every time; Ada-'Are you study
'g French and Germau?' Alice-'Yes
lcrman with old Prof schwachougen
nd French with young Prof. CASTOR
her" Ada Which language do
u prcfcr7' Alice "F,eleh."
Funny Mans Little Boy: Papa, what
oes the senate do with treaties2 Fun.
y Man; My son, it codifes fishers .es
eaties and ratifes Chinese treaties.
here, now, run away and laugh, and
t the gray matter iu papa's brain have
chance to recuperate
There are fish in the sea, said the maiden
fair,
As good as ever We're caught, so there!n
nd she Tilted her beau and away went he
nd she found, although there were fish in
the sea
good as ever were brought to land.
ley wouldn't come out at her command
nd the beautiful maid grew pale and sad
nd wished she had kept the one she had.
Five cents fare for that child
adame, said street car conductor as
opened the door and put his head
the car every WELL, +" she replied.
cling in her pocket; 'this is an or.
Inn child, and am its guardian.
ust have a receipt for all moneys paid
t, aud as soon as you write one IN
op nickel in the box" He shut tho
or and leaned over the brake like
IN in deep thought