davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-01-26

sally an me was courtin, an like enough ter
be spliced.
When / heern o. suthin / calkiate needn't be
told me twiSte:
Fer when druv ter the village my fun was
allus spilled
BY the folks a-nudgin' and snickerin', till their
actin made me riled.
SO clum right eout o the Vaughn, fer Dobbin
wouldn't skeer.
And l went straight up ter gawky, and seq
/: Meow look a-here;
What be ye latin at darn ye! a-WinkIn at me
.sW'y." he SEE. you're drfvin an old white
boss and beauin & red-haired gal!
Anybody'll tell ye an il needn't git ye cross,
Wharever thar's red-haired gal you'll see an
old white boss.
The crowd all SEE, "'W'y, sartin," so up to my
seat clum,
full meandered hum,
After a power O. thinlIin' traded the boss
TerJededier Hawkins, that lives deown the
village way.
IIcd an oneasy feelin' tibet I'd swopped him
at q loss,
But ] vowed Id ruther stick ter the gal an
dew without the boss.
Wal, Invent one day ter sally's, whar I'd
An it tux me aback, fer the old white boss
a-standin afore the door:
An under the honeysuckles, as comfortable
was Jededier with Sally, a-helpin' her shelHn'
peas.
went hum sayin nuthin fer twarn't no use
ter fuss,
An I set deown out in the woodshed an rum
mated thus:
'fThinps is apin We, Hiram; deown in your pro-
fit and loss
You amt got nuthin' ter put against yer gal
an q good, strong boss.
Things is agin We; Hiram; better ter be re-
signed;
Git used ter seem tibet old white boss with
Sally an him behind"
1t sorter seemed ter console me when
thought what folks had sad
Tibet thar's allus pesky temper inside Of
carrot head
Now they're up an married, an ter-day Jed
come ter me
An begged me ter take back Dobbin; "Pn
trade him cheap" SEE he.
But 1 shook my head and answered, "Pm
afraid tibet wouldn't dew
Fer Sally is dretful shrewish, and dreaded
thet she'd come tew.
From the Judge.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-01-26

court with :istIibJy visages, black,
grizzly, or gray, complaining that the
barber would not shave them, and
praying the interference of the
judicial officer. Unfortunately the law
makes no provision for such con-
tingencies, and all one can do is to
offer little friendly counsel.
But to return to the villagers wife.
The barber came one day to shave her
husband, but it so happened that be
was out at the time, and his wife,
knowing that the bag of rice would be
claimed all the same, and being de-
sirOus that the barber should not earn
his reward too cheaply, made him
shave her head! On her husbands re-
turn, she boosted to him now she had
been even with the barber, and got her
moneys worth out of him.
This reminds me of another careful
housekeeper, the wife of worthy old
gentleman, of whom it is related that,
having prepared black dose for a
native neighbor, who neglected to call
for it, she, rather than sanction an act
of wastefulness, insisted on her hus-
bands swallowing it!
Once upon a time there lived sage
called Mahadenamutth;- great
counsel-giver"-wh was consulted on
important or difficult questions.
One day calf stuck its stupid young
head into pot, and could not get it
out again. After trying various
methods of extricating the animals
head its owner resorted to the adviser
general.
Bring forth my elephant" said
the sage and the elephant was brought.
He mounted it and followed the APP
plicant to his house; but on reaching it
the garden gate was found too narrow
to admit the elephant.
''Break down the wall, was the
next command of the wise man;
and it was obeyed But another
obstacle presented itself in the form of
an outhonse. and the end of that had
to be demolished before the man of
resources could gain access to the
yard where the calf was still struggling
for deliyerence.
"Cut off his head" said the dis
penser of wisdom, and with prompt
obedience the calf was decapitated.
Nov smash the pot" was the final
command, and the difficulty was
solved.
Then, directing that the head should
be handed to the owner of the nimal,
the great man rode off.-AU the Year
R0zL7ld
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-01-26
Power OF a Kind Voice.

There is no power of love so hard to
get and keep as kind voice A kind
hand is deaf and dumb. 1t NAV be
rough in flesh and blood, yet do the
work of a soft heart, and do it with a
soft touch. But there is one thing
that love so much needs as sweet
voice to tell what it means and feels;
and it IS hard to get and keep it in tho
right tone. One must start in youth
and be on the watch night and day, at
work and play, to get and keep
voice that shall speak at all times the
thought of a kind heart. 1t is often in
youth that one gets voice or a tone
that is sharp, and sticks to him
through life, and stirs up ill-will and
grief, and falls like drop of gall on
the sweet joys of home. Watch it day
by day as pearl of great price, for it
will be worth more to you in days to
come than the best pearl hid in the
sea. A kind voice is to the heart what
light is to the eye. 1t is light that
sings as well as shines.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-01-26
Provisioning a Balloon.

Expecting 4 long trip, we had taken
food and water for three DAYS. We
had chicken, corned beef, beans, bread.
crackers, bareback, salmon, Holsters.
pickles. salt, vinegar, mixed nuts. or
anges and bananas. So You see that
we were not likely to starve, had we
gone. as we thought we might. into
the deep wilds of Michigan or Canada.
We also had hooks and lines for fish,
and keen AK to aid us in the woods,
or wherewith to chop our way out of
the wreck had we been cast away on
one of the great lakes. And we had
an electric light for use at night. Our
plans had been well laid; and had not
Moore been hurt, or had not the bal
loon been torn at the start, our voyage
would perhaps have been more to our
liking.
a few final details may interest you.
The last and first sound to reach us,
while we were above q mile high, was
the sharp shrek of locomotive l
saw one express train as we scared
above its tiny track; and it looked like
mere toy train few inches long,
which did not seem to lSove faster
than snail. Yet we knew that it was
on its way with all its usual speed-S0
miles an hour at least.
During our voyage we ate and drank
Just as we might have done at pic
mic.
Truly, we lived ''high." A luncheon
above the clouds was to me a very
novel affair. | threw over the peel of
an orange. Down, straight down, it
shot, flash of gold in the sun, a hun
dred feet-a thousand feet-a mile.
Long before it struck the earth it had
gone out of sight. But, before it dis
appeared, it came to point where it
seemed to stand still in mid-air.-Ed-
o0ard Duffy Ia st. Nicholas.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-01-26
He Tuck de Hog.

remember very we'll the first case
ever had to defend in court. My
client, a negro. had ''tuck hog" My
father left me to make my own begin
ming and to wrestle with justice alone.
l said: "Jim, when you are called
plead not guilty, and ask for trial by
jury"
Eyes, sah," said Jim.
When Jim was called he stood up,
and the clerk read in mis- stereotyped
way the indictment, ending contrary
to the form and statute" etc, and
asked:
Whereof are you guilty or not
guiltyP"
''Sah?" said Jim.
s.Read it over" said the Judge; and
over again it was accordingly read,
and to the same concluding interroga-
ton jim again responded, "Sah?"
''See here, you! said the Judge.
she is asking you if you took that hog
or not.
And to my horror jim scratched his
head and, with a conGding smile. said
Yes, sab, Jedge, | tuck de hog;" and
so ended my first lesson.-Nea0 Orleans
PicGgUne.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-01-26
A Funny Snperstition.

"Think I'm superstitious, do you?
Well, III tell you another superstition
Of mine," said a well-known Vine
street merchant tailor, as he carefully
destroyed the wrappin g-paper around
a garment that had been returned for
some slight, or fancied fault.
You see l destroyed that paper?
Why so? Because if that paper got
around some new customers goods
I'd have trouble III fitting him ever
afterward. Oh! you needn't laugh;
I've had enough experience is that
matter and know what I'm talking
about, and don't care t. risk it!
''Well, laugh ali you want to, he
said as a parting shot; Just the same
it's so, or at least. that's my exper-
fence. Superstition or no supersti-
ton. destroyed the p2per, and I'll do
the same with al c-ne-s Of its kind. "
- Cincinnati IeleqTdnl.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-01-26
The Kind of Money Nation Will Use

One needs but to stand for q brief
time at the marts of trade in countries
of varied degrees of civilization, to
quickly recognize and understand,
that the kind of money a country will
have and use. depends upon and will
vary with, the extent and variety of
its productions, the price of its labor,
and the rapidity and magnitude of its
exchanges; and investigation will fur
Their inform him that when mankind.
savage, semi-civilized, civilized, or en-
ligntened, find out by experimentation
what metal or other instrumentality is
best adapted to their wants as me-
dunn of exchange, that metal or in
strumentality they will employ; and
that statute law can do little more
than recognize and confirm the fact,
In truth, legislation in respect to
money as is the case in respect TO
other things, never originates any new
idea; ''but merely enacts that that
which has been found beneficial or
prejudicial in many cases, shall be
used, limited, or prohibited in all sim
liar cases within its jurisdiction"
Thus, in all countries where prices are
low, wages small, transactions linn
tied, and exchanges sluggish, nothing
more valuable can be used as money
for effecting the great bulk Of the ex-
changes, than copper; and in countries
like Mexico and China, even the cop
per coin corresponding to the Ameri-
can scent" the English ''half-penny,"
and the French .tsou" is often so dis
proportionate in point of value to the
wants of retail trade, that in the form
er country it is made more use
full by being halved and quartered, and
IN the latter is replaced with some
even cheaper metal, as iron, or spelter.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-01-26

The wages in all such countries do not
in general exceed twenty to twenty
five cents day, and the sum of such
wages, when represented in money,
must be capable of division into as
many parts in order to be exchanged
for the many daily necessities of an
individual or a family. But with
wages at twenty-five cents per day,
enc use of coined gold would obviously
be impracticable. The equivalent of
days labor in gold would be too
small to be conveniently handled; the
equivalent of an hours labor would De
smaller than pins head. And in q
lesser degree would be the inconven.
;ence of using coined silver for effect
ING the division of similar small wages.
Hon. Dacid i. Vets iw Popular Sci
cnce Montbiu.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-01-26
A Big County.

The editor of the Griggs county
Oak.) Courier calls attention to the
fact that Griggs county contains room
enough to seat the entire population
of the globe in arm-chairs within its
limits. allowing each person a space
of thirteen square feet. The county
has an area 720 square miles, or over
10000, 000,00 square feet, and the
worlds population is about l, 800, 000.-
600. The actual population of the
county is 5000.
Lord Dufferin recently gave the shah
of Persia fine elephant.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-01-26

Society, at its very best, always
needs, and at its best or worse con-
tains, few superior members, who
make themselves blessing by work.
ing a constant, tactful redistribution
of individuals by their true values,
across the unworthy lines upon which
society ever tends to stratifv.-f. ".
C2bte, IN .'Au Large, t,s the Century.
Commodore Joseph B. Hull is the
oldest officer in the American navy.
He was appointed IN 1873
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-01-26

a large fish apparently in great
trouble was seen by a. d. Winfield
swimming on the surface of Lake Ho-
patcong. n 7. he passed 2. net under
1t and brought black bass Weighing
three and one-half pounds, wit a sun
fish fast in its jaws. The suntish could
not move, neither could the bass eject
it.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-01-26

A neck-and-neck race-Giraffes.-
Boston Bulletin.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1888-09-13
CONDENSED NEWS.

President Cleveland has transmitted to the senate the correspondence called for between the United States and English governments on discrininations against American shipping.
 The Massachusetts state Prohibition con- vention nominated a full state ticket, with William H. Earl for governor and Professor John Bascom, of Williamstown, for lieuten. ant governor.
 Governor Ames was renominated by the Massachusetts Republican convention, with J. Q. A. Bracket for lieutenant governor, Henry B. Pierce for secretary of state and C. R. Ladd for auditor.
 Michael Davitt intends to apply to the Parnen commission for permission to give evidence before that body. He has prepared an abstract of his proposed evidence. He discloses bitter feud between the dynamite and Fenian party and those in favor of con- stitutional agitation. He claims he has been sentenced to death by the Rossa faction and that attempts have been made to execute the sentence.
 The Greenback party has issued a mani festo stating that it is deemed best not tt nominate a ticket this year
 There is no light yet on the Bennett mys. tery at Jersey City. Broker Bennett is said to be dying.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1888-09-13

not only right, but vas good politics, The carping criticism of opposition has given place among us to kindly admonitions of friendship. The administration has been clear and strong 1t has been an administration of the whole country, not of a section, and policy for the party has been formulated as broad as the republic itself; policy not to protect trusts, monopolies or classes, but policy ill the interest of all the people, and for the protection of individual capital and labor all over the land. And now, for the first time in ever twenty years, we enter upon a national canvass with part, at least, of the responsibilities of the govern ment upon us. We are no longer 'the fierce, the untamed Democracy" but the sober, stald, conservative Democracy, made so by the responsibilities of power and public trust, and we appeal to the people to say if those responsibilities have not been well met and those trusts faithfully fulfilled. (Applause.) When we are raising S100,0O0,000 more taxes than the government requires we think there is something wrong, 'that unnecessary taxa ton is unjust taxation and that there must be remedy somewhere. We believe that that remedy can be applied without injury
 60 invested capital, but with benefit,
 rnd not to the injury of American labor.
 We believe it can be done by reducing the taxes upon tue necesSaiios of life and then decreasing the expenses of living; by reduc- illg the tax on raw material used in home
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1888-09-13
General Markets.

NEW YORK, Sept. 12.-FLOUR-Closed heavy winter wheat extra, $3. 10@5. 60: Minnesota do S31o056o; St. Louis extra, S3. 1o03 60. Southern flour closed quiet; common to choice extra, S3 1! @5.65
 WHEAT-Options closedinactive but steady Spot lots dull and weak Spot sales of Mo- red state at $1.02; No. do, 971sc: Mo- red win. ter 97c.; ungraded red, 9sc. @S1 O234; No 2 red winter, Sept, 9s9sc,; do., Oct 9s34c; do., Nov, $1.
 CORN-Options active and stronger Spot lots firmer. Spot sales of No. mixed at 5516m 5534c; ungraded mixed, 5a@55c; No 2 mixed, Sept, 55c: do, Oct, s4s4c.; do, Nov, 5424c
 OATS-Options quist and barely steady Spot lots inactive and 1c lower. Spot sales of No i white state at 42c.; No. do, 3034c; No. 2 mixed, Sept, 31c.; do, Oct, 30S4c
 sUGAR-Raw firm, but quiet; fair refining, 7-16c. 96 test, 5-16c. Refined firm, with fair demand; cut loaf and crushed. sasc.; cubes, &c., |; powdered, 75s@Sc.; granulated, 75SG17 11-16c {; mold A. 7s4c.; confe:tloners' A, 7Ssc.; coffee A standard, 7ssc.; coffee off A, 6 151607c.; white extra c, 62s06 15-16o; extra c, 6s4@6 13-l6c {; yellow, 606 3-16c.
 BUTTER-Firm; state, 14@4c.; western, IS @23c.
 CHEESE-Dull; state, rose.
 EGGS-Steady, but dull; state, 191<02Oc i; western, 17@194c. Canada, 19@191sc,
 COTToN-Spot closed steady; middling Gp lands, D 7-16c,
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1888-09-13
BASEBALL SUMMARY.
Results of Yesterdays Games in the Three
 Leading Associations.

LeauIhS ASSOCIATIONS.
 At Pittsburg-Pittsburg, ?; Washington, o. Hits: Pittsburg, 7; Washington, g. Err TOTS: Pittsburg, ?; Washington, 5 Batteries: Morris and Carol, Whitney and Deasley Game called on account of rain.
 At anapoLis-Indanapolis. 6: Boston. & Hits: Indianapolis, s; Boston, 10 Errors: Indianapolis, ?; Boston, 7. Batteries: Boyle and Myers, Sowders and Tate.
 At Detroit-DetEoit, 8; Philadelphia. g. Hits: Detroit, 5; Philadelphia, IS. Errors: Detroit, 6; Philadelphia, g. Batteries: Bea- tin and Bennett, Buffuton and Clements
 At Chicago-The New Works refused to continue the game at the end of the fifth in- ming, and it was given to Chicago by a score of to O.
 At Philadelphia-First game.) Athletic, S.: Baltimore, 3. Hits: Athletic, 10; Baltimore, 6. Errors: Athletic, ?; Baltimore, 9 Bat terles: Seward and Robinson, Cunningham and O'Brien. Second game.) Athletic. O.: Baltimore, 5 Hits: Athletic, 4; Baltimore, 10. Errors: Athletic, 8; Baltimore, 1. Bat teries: Weyhing and Townsend. Walker and O'Brien
 At Cleveland 3; Brooklyn, S. Hits: Cleveland, s; Brooklyn, 14. Errors: Cleveland, 5; Brooklyn, l. Batteries: Keas and Snyder, Hughes and Clark.
 At St. Louis-St. Louis, z; Louisville. 9 Hits: St. Louis, s; Louisville, 8. Errors: St. Louis, 1; Louisville, ? Batteries: Cham berlain and Milligan, Ramsey and Cooke.
 At Cincinnati - Cincinnati, 5; Kansas City, ?. Hits: Cincinnati, 10; Kansas City. 4. Errors: Cincinnati, ?; Kansas City, 1. Batteries: Smith and Keenan, Hoffman and Donohue
 At London-London, 6; Troy, s. Hits: London '; Troy 13. Errors: London, 10: Troy, ,. Pitchers: O'Brien and Scoring.
 At Rochester-RocheSter, I Hamilton 8, Hits; Rochester, i; Hamilton, ? Errors: Rochester, ,; Hamilton, 4. Pitchers: Toole and Llewellyn. Game called at the end of the seventh inning on account of darkness.
 At Buffalo-Buffalo, f; Albany, 1. Hits: Buffalo, '; Albany, ', Errors: Buffalo, :; Albany, ,. Pitchers: Gibbs and Hoover Game called on account of darkness.
 At Syracuse - Syracuse, $; Toronto, B. Hits: Syracuse, 10; Toronto, 9. Errors: Sy- racuse, 1; Toronto f. Pitchers: Murphy and Oberlander.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1888-09-13
The Fever in New York
Professor Richard A. Proctor
 Victim of Yellow Jack.
HE WAS TAKEN ILL IN A HOTEL

The Doctors Being Uncertain as to the
 Nature of the Disease He Laid in His
 Room Two Days. and Was Then Re-
 moved to a Hospital.
 NEW YORK. Sept 13-Professo- Richard A. Proctor, of Harvard university, tho re- nowned astronomer, died last night of yellow fever at Willard Purker hospital at the foot of East Sixteenth street, an institution ex- pressly provided by the board of health for contagious diseases
 Professor Proctor arrived in this city on Monday last. having come direct by train from his southern home at Oak Lawn, Marion county, Fla, where he has a private observa- tory He left his family there, and had al ready engaged passage for Europe, and was to have sailed on Saturday.
 Upon arriving he went immediately to the Westminster hotel. He felt much fatigued and was indisposed, but thinking it nothing more than the attendant results of a tiresome journey he retired to rest, thinking he would be restored to his wonted self by morning.
 He saw nobody but his physician (whose name President Bayles of the board of health refuses to disclosel, and consequently nobody about the hotel knew that the recent arrival from Florida was suffering from any indis- POSASAOAA' further indisposed and his physician, becom- ing alarmed, notified the board of health that he had grave suspicious that the case was one of yellow fever
 Tuesday night the symptoms were so bad and of such a suspicious nature that Drs Edson, James and Day, of the board of health, thought the case desperate enough to warrant removal to the pest house on North Brothers Island But owing to the inclemency of the weather, there being high winds and heavy rain, it was not deemed prudent to move him so far and accommodations were provided for him at Willard Parker hospital
 After his removal he rested well until yesterday morning, when he had a relapse, fear of which actuated his physicians and the officials of the health board to consider his re- moval on Tuesday night desirable The end came quickly. In spite of the most careful nursing Professor Proctor passed through the various stages of the dread disease rapidly, and yesterday was seized with the black vomlt. This Is the last stage, and no one re- covers when this terrible symptom has once set in. He died soon after in great agony.
 Richard Anthony Proctor was born in Chelsea, England, on March 23, 1857. He was very delicate boy, and his early education took place at home. At proper age he was entered at Eton, and subsequently, at Kings college, Oxford.
 Mr. Proctor married in St. Joseph, Mo-, in 1875, and made his home in that city for a number of years.
 Professor Proctor was one of the most pro- life writers on scientific subjects of the pres ent day, being contributor to all the lead ing English magazines and periodicals, and the author of many volumes of essays and scientific works.
 The room at the hotel where Professor Proctor died was boarded up and every pre- caution has been taken to prevent a spread of the disease
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1888-09-13
TRADE BULLETIN.

New York Money and Produce Market
 Quotations.
 NEW YORK, Sept. 12.-Money closed at per cent; the highest rate and the lowest 1lk per cent. Exchange closed quiet; posted rates 4S51504.S .SS15: actual rates, 4S4S44S S5 for 60 da, bills and 4S73404SS for demand. Governments closed strong; currency 6s, 12i bid; is, coup., 1294 bid; 415s, do., 10634 bid
 Pacific railroad bonds closed as follows: Union hrsts, 1l4@116 Union land grants 1O3@1O6; Union sinking funds, 12O0123; Centrals, I140116.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1888-09-13
A Helmet for Bremen.

A new helmet for firemen has been in- vented in Bremen. It consists principally of copper mask, which is very light. The wearer's nose, mouth and eyes receive, through an india rubber tube, a constant stream of pure air, which leaves the helmet by an opening opposite the eyes, and pre- vents the entrance of smoke. The helmet has been practically tested, and is to be used ky the Berlin f1remen, it is said.-Boston Budget.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1888-09-13
Maine Returns.

LEWISTON, Me, Sept. 13.-The Journal has returns from 450 towns in Maine, which give the following figures: Burleigh, 77,277; Put nam, 5S S,595; Gushing, 2899; Simmons, $40; Republican plurality, 1s,6S2; majority, A. 943. The same towns two years ago gave the following vote: Bodwen, 67,242; Edwards, 52627; Clark, 3,S2S; Republican plurality 14615; Republican majority, 1O,sS2.