Telegram-herald., 1888-05-14
WALKS AND TALKS.

III soc sAich k<sr every dsy AID
xDessry A0ar ef sn< Cay. In season
and eat ef susson. A elus 1zn
Fsnzzksd tAs otasr DAY TIA Il vss .sboat
si.as TO cas Il. snd l shink il i. Ib<s
oughs 10 bs crusade sSainsE tie izdiseria-
nate as Of fas uor3 snich appears 10 ba.s
gzlhszs1 an t1ls eo1nsFy. IL - naors gene
rzl b<iiefs in eonssxs<lloa thsa IA PRINT
Tor the AnsEicza editor eontlaaes 70 se~d
0ak copy. sang t2ke5 rooL Ia tee best sslis
oaI here Is wofa shlea L . sofs 81 = Tree
ss1dle f1x esexy ons to Iaonlf zDa II IL rlki-
den % Jericho aad baek essa 81 peopis who
are fzztidsoas IN Ihsir ever osy Eaghsh.
A a1a1 has aaRny thing 80 tei soas AID.
having related II. yeu Eeascf that hs las mol
snalis4 and you have nox Tor Il Sss .ot
fuaay snd nat intsncsc 10 cs
Some one relates al accident ssd
it tuFas ozt that there 70 Gomez
denes IN it. sad the naa who hears II sass
that's funny l overheard Two wonsn
taking sooat tie poor glri wno tried %
Kill nsEse.f tie other cay. Certainly that
sas &s SAL case ths reporter
for cfialinzl aff4irs has had 70 record
for some years. The lady who told II
referred 60 lhe suicide OF the poor slrls
l0Flasr employer snd acqaslntzncs. where
upoa the iislsEer s.lo-hzy4ng cast ssr eyes
IL a eontempstVe way-"Nssnt that
iunny7' A business man sat Down with
me 10 lunch the other day and opened the
conyersslion with the remark that he had
last seen funny thing On the street. |
happened TO be 10 depressed mood, and
Vas glad to hear he had something 10 relate
by W hieh would be eheered. The funny
thing he hsd se-n was a runaway IN which
the driver OF she horse had been pitched
over the dashboard aud landed on the ffont
platform OF street car. That Was certainly
a singular thi1g, bur / confess saw Iolh-
ing funny about IL. nor did nv friend. de
had simply done what We all do every day.
grow neegissns in his IMPRESSIONS But this
negligence seems Is hover with affection
aboaI the word 'funny" more fondly than
elsewhere.
Cornell, Of Kalamazoo. adiuster of the
German Insurance. Company. of Freeport.
gets of the following;
He was adjusting loss for an Irish
woman and. after getting the inventory
it.
But" says she. II can't do that ye
know" The good priest says that /
| mustn't swear
"Ali right" said Cornell. "you don't get
| the money until you DO swear TO it,"
| 0nce moro the woman referred hffa TO
| the priest and said that he mad forbidden
herto swear.
The adiuster began to gather up the
papers, and told her plainly that as long IS
| she refused TO swear she could not get her
| money.
| This move was too much for the poor
woman, aud she resign sdly said We'll. if
| | must must, but may the good Lord for
give me. Here she goes Hellity damn !"
| Para had bought the Cyclone a chest of
tools and had initiatei him into the mys-
tsries OF screw driving. Shortly afterwards
he saw the little fellow banging a screw
| into a box as hara as he could with ham,
| mer.
"What did I tell you? That isn't the
| way to put in a screw. What i. that slot
in the head for?"
The Cyclone looked guilty for a moment,
then Frightened up and replied:
TO take it out with
There are some enthusiastic, wide awake.
go-ahead merchants In the Valley City.
One of them, who came from the City OF
| Brotherly Love, and was once a member OF
the Order of Friends and given to Scrip
tural quotations. thus spske the other day
when was talking 10 him about advertis-
ing in the newspapers:
MY friend he no whoopeth up his busi-
ness in a newspaper shall reap oountiful
harvest in tine golden sheckles. He who
readeth the advertisements and profiteth
thereby shall have a. abundance OF this
worlds goods for little money. He that
chooseth not to subscribe for his home
paper shall wonder at the intellect of bis
neighbor. He who advsrtisss literally get.
the cream of the trade. Old fogies get skim
milk"
II is amusing to see how long il takes peo-
pie to learn new thing. Under the ne.
order of things the street cars stop only al
farther crossings. aud 1t is a charming sight
to see 8 woman ring the bell TO stop, and
then when the car doesn't stop. pro-
ceed to Jerk ths bell out of irs fsstenings. A
street car driver who can work all day with
out getting angry is : tt candidate for the
golden hereafter.