The Portland daily press., 1888-03-03
THE NATIONAL CAPITAL.
Mr.. Allen, the Professional Humor-
ist, Encounters Mr.. MiIIiken.
And is Worsted in Tilt over the Bar
Harbor Bill.
Comments on the Treaty Open the
Eyes of the Administration.
Especial to the Press !

!
more painful than when professional fun
ny man gets loose. There is only one pro-
fessional in the present body. He is relic
of the last House. His name is Allen; he
comes from Mississippi, and he is sometimes
described as the man with moth-eaten hair.
A glimpse at him from the gallery makes
clear the epithet. His black hair, in a mar
row patch, from the brow back, has been
worn away. 1t has not worn down to the
smooth, white skin over the skull, but left q
| sort of fuzzy blackness all over the head.
! Allen is swarthy, rather short, slender, and
perpetually chewing tobacco. His reputa-
| tion for wit is not very well supported by
what he says on the floor. He says things
in droll way sometimes, but that is all. 1t
| is rare that the fash Of real wit or the glow
of humor lightens them up. 1t will be easier
for Maine folks to settle these things for
themselves, though, after looking at what
went on in the House when the Bar Harbor
bill came up. Scraps Of it. with story OF
how the House laughed at Objector Bland,
have gone on before, but Allen is worth mo
ment as well, if that moment removes him
| from further Importance.
The debate started off in rather lively
| fashion. Dibble, of South Carolina, chair
man of the committee, had the report read
! Then Bland pitched in. Now, / supposed"
said Bland, talking through his nose in the
dismal monotone which always marks his
| speeches, II supposed when Tread that
| proposition for public building at Bar Har-
Dor was to come before us, that Bar Harbor
was city of probably 100000 people. or 3d.
600, or at least $4,000. Certainly supposed
it was among the first or second class post
offices OF the country l picked up the re-
ports of the Postmaster General and running
over the catalogue of rst clfiass post offices,
did not find Bar Harbor. Then l said to my
self, 1t must certainly be among the second
class post ofiices;' and examined the re-
port two or three times to ascertain that fact
but to my utter astonishment did not find
Bar Harbor even among. the second class
post offices. Then / came down to offices of
the third class, and there l found Bar Har-
Dor as third class post Office, the salary of
the postmaster being $1700 year, and not
dollar allowed for clerk hire.
Now, this illustrates the character of
great many of the public building bills COM
| ing before us: The gentleman from Maine
| has been rushing up and down, running
| about the House like cockroach on kitch-
en- floor tlaughterl, nursing his little bantling
| at Bar Harbor, and the whole excitement of
| the gentleman as exhibited the other day and
today is explained by the fact that Bar Har-
Dor Is here with proposition for public
| building"
anu Dlduu, udNluS oLUppCu HOnOtOu7
Gus drone of objection, said he would let the
| gentleman from Mississippi have the rest of
his time. The House pricked up its ears
| little. The professional funny man was ON
| his feet for the first time in the session. 1t
is fair to suppose that he must have been
| funny in particular when the able steno-
grapher of the Congressional Record has put
laughter in brackets. 1t Will do to quote
these sentences in cold type. Said he:
"Mr. Chairman, the members of this House
know how amiable l am and what sweet
disposition have. [Laughter.l They know,
therefore, what painful duty 1t is to Inc to
antag0nize the pet schemes and projects OF
my brother members-a thing would only
do in response to my conception of duty"
The responsibility OF leadership resting on
me [laughter] makes it proper that / should
put on record my disapproval of much that
is being done in this direction, for those Of
us who accept the honors aud privileges OF
leadership must not shirk the responsibility
of our positions. Laughter.
"The entire receipts of the Bar Harbor
post office for the year 1887. were. S6,3l062.
The postmaster receives salary of 81 700. 1t
appears to be town to which some people
resort during the heat of summer, and to
which fact it owes its chief Importance. We
are also told it has an abundance Of pure
water and braclng air.
"Now, Mr.. Chairman, what sort of show
ing is this for the erection of a $4,000 build
ing? OF all people who have little use for
public building it would seem to NE that
LlOSe VINO are lOuuBlDg dI u SululntI I6oOIt
would have the least. [Laughter.l
'sIt is true the considerations of bracing
air and pure water are not to be overlooked.
The question of an abundance of pure wa
ter, admit, sir, is growing. lLaughter.J
But exactly why bracing air and pure water
bring into requisition public building, L am
not able to see."
Mr.. Milliken who really has more dry wit
In him than Allen ever had or will have got
a chance to talk back in few moments. He
did mt WASTE words the occasion
for before Allen got through the House was
weary of him. MIR. Dibble said he would let
Mr.iMilliken have five minutes.
81 do not need more than one" said Mr..
Milliken, 'tartly, "for do not want to dis
turb the effect of the chaste delicate wit OF
my friend from Missouri (Mr. Bland), nor
the lucid and luminous eloquence of my
friend from Mississippi (Mr. Allen.) Laugh
ter. The speech of the gentleman from
Missouri have heard so many times in this
House, and it has been answered so often
since these public-buildings bills came up,
that feel 1t is unnecessary to make further
reply to it.
"That gentleman is something like the old
woman who had been borrowing kettle all
her life. At last, after forty years, she got
one Of her own, when she resolved never TO
borrow or to loan any more. Ny friend has
obtained an appropriation of $146.0O0 for his
little town of Jefferson City, not Of so much
Importance as Bar Harb0r nor growing so
rapidly. Perhaps may say in closing that
could not expect my friend from Mississip-
pi to favor the erection of a building in any
town where the diet contained for drink only
pure water" Laughter.
There was no more trouble from Bland or
Allen on that BILL
The Treaty.
The administration is unquestionably sore
and disturbed by the storm criticism of the
| treaty which comes from all sides. 1t seems
| that Mr.. Bayard mad ethe most of the rest Of
| the Cabinet believe as he did, that Eng
| land had conceded all we wanted and she
| had secured practically nothing in return.
| But the rotund way in which the stirring
| phrases of Judge Woodbury., w. II. Triscott
| and Gen. Butler, have followed those OF Mr.
| Frye, Gov. Dingley and the rest of the Re-
| publicans; frank to say at once all they
| Bayard's colleagues, and if all OF them was
| to say all he has thought and occasionally
| whispered it would create surprise.
Mr.. Reeds Opinion.
WASHINGTON, March 2.-When asked
his opinion on the tariff bill last night
Congressman Reed said: Speaking in
general way the very first thing
that strikes an intelligent man is that it is
absolutely a political bill there is not the
faintest tracelof an economic principle run
ming through it. Hardly even pretence of
that is left. 1t is also by necessity sectional
in the extreme. A few pet manufacturers
have been consulted. A few Democratic
members have been seen. but the great in
dustrial interests of the country have been
left in the dark. Coal and iron are for ex-
ample, left off the free stbecause West Vir-
ginia and old Virginia rose en- masse and the
Democrats were afraid. Maine they have no
hope of, and she isstruck from boundary to
boundary. The great northern timber belt
and the Pacific coast are also under the ban.
sit has been whispered that the plan of re-
fusal Of hearings is to be kept up, but can.
not believe it. 1t is asserted, apparently by
authority, that the majority Of the commit
tee the Democrats thereoD "being agreed
/ that hearings are "mere fsrmaity" the bill
will be rushed through. That cannot be in
!, the face Of the American people What is 9
, | committee for? 1t is to hear all interested
and the publication of these proceedings of
the self-constituted farmers Of new tariff
: will show how much hearings are needed to
let daylight In upon darkness and sec
recy now prolonged for three months. The
people interested will be heard and must be
heard. The utter impossibility Of any wise
action in any other way will force on even the
: | most unwilling that openness and fairness
which must characterize the legislation of a
,, One Thousand Homeless.