The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1888-11-17
- - Z
PuNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

"A philosopher says: "Modesty 10
maiden's necklace" o, my! O, my!
Then 1t should be worn ut a full-dress
ball.-M o. Picayune.
The man who said that marriage
resembles lottery labored under
Misunderstanding. When you patron
ize q lottery you have some show OF
coming out ahead. .--Lincoln journal.
Unmarried lady-"It must be
great thing when husband and wife
are of one mind" Married lady-"That
depends on whose mind 1t is. "-IeIGs
Sytings.
Scientists say that the only article
used as food from the mineral kingdom
is common salt. In that case we should
like to know the kingdom scientists
consider cheap sugar belongs to. Puck.
-Dudekin (who had just put on u
new suit of clothes in the shop)-
"Wait a minute, I'll go over to the
bank aud get check cashed." Tailor
(going out with him)"-Well. I'll fol-
low suit. v Washington Post.
The young wife who makes shirt
for her dear hubby not only runs the
risk of shaking his confidence in her,
but also of losing all her former admira-
tion for him when she sees him with it
on.-1erre Hautc Express.
1t is amazing how quick the bakers
find out when -four goes up, and how
awfully deaf and blind they are when
a slump in the market knocks 50 off
the price of barrel. They must want
to make SOME money out of the busi-
ness.-DetroH Free Press.
.-Dutiful daughter-"Now, mother,
don't ask me to marry that man. ad-
mire and respect him. but do not love
him." Practical mother-"O, that
don't matter. You won't see him often
enough to grow tired of him. He's a
politician. Philadelphia Record.
There ought to be law in this
country providing that none but pretty
women should ever wear wells. Then
all the homely women would break the
law for obvious reasons, while the
pretty women would discard the wells
through vanity-and the eye of man
would be gratified. of Educa-
ton.
Wife (reprovingly)-"The great
trouble with you is, John, you buy a
good many things you don't need simply
because they are cheap. That is false
economy" Husband" "Hereis lady's
watch bought to-day for twenty dol
lars that's worth every cent of thirty
dollars" Wife-"O, thank you, John;
why, it was real bargain!'-N Y
Sun. "-
One of the latest feats of endur-
ance is that of playing the piano for
thirty-six hours in one inning. 1t is
the player, and not the listener, who
is awarded the prize for endurance.
The listener generally becomes eX-
hausted and wants to die in the fourth
hour.-Drakc'S Magazine.
Miss Clara (blushing)-"Do you
know, Ethel, that young Mr.. Sampson
proposed to me last night and accept
ed himp" Miss Ethel (heartily)-'I
congratulate you sincerely. Clara. Mr..
Sampson is a noble young man." Miss
Clara-"Do you know him well?" Miss
Ethel-"O, yes. 1t was only a few
months ago that l promised to be a
sister to him. Time.
Mother, take or send your son to
the barber when his hair needs cutting.
To be sure, he may get his little head
full of political and meteorological
chaff from the lips of the loquacious
knight of the shears and razor; but on
the other hand, the boy who habitually
has his hair cut by his mother is likely
to grow up social pariah, if, indeed.
he does not develop into red-handed
villain. Boston Transcript.
In the course of discussion about
the Holy Writ recently overheard
lady remarked that the Bible was "a
history of men; that her sex was rarely
and but incidentally mentioned as cons
pared with the space devoted to men.
81 confess" she added, THAT it strikes
me as being most singular. There
might have been more said about us
20, / don't know" replied her friend.
1.-THE authors of the various books had
probably studied womankind, and
knew they'd be able to speak for them
selves. "-Hayper'S Bagar.