The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1888-10-25
WIT AND HUMOR.
, Speaking of blowing people up. the
.eroSane can WlShiflQtOR Critic.

kerosene can.-W Washington Critic.
The latest advices state that strolling
is the proper way to fish for a husband
at the beach.-Oceass.
The old ocean was never known to
get tired, but thousands of people
have see the sea-bored.- Ocean.
Money makes the mare go, and
sometimes the mare makes the money |
go-notably at the races.-LJe.
Tho manageable American girl
needs protection. She is being ruined
by the foreign popper.-Dutslth Para
gTGpher.
IL is said that the moon governs the
tide, but it is the single or united peo--
pie who appear to be the most affected
by it ON deek.-OceGn.
Foggs-Just look at that absurd
hat. Why, it's as tall as steeple.
Boggs What's odd about that? Isn't
there belle under it?-Lite.
A young man who soaked his ac-
Gordon claimed that he was trying to
bridge over his troubles with pawn
tune.-1erre Haute E1press.
For an example of the power of
single letter compare the phrases
-.blooming cheek" and ''blooming
cheeks" ittsbarg Chronicle.
Fogg thinks your true iconoclast is
the schoolteacher who cures his pupils
of Incidence and sloth. He is a break
er of ideas.-Boston Transcript.
Moonlight nights have long been
recognized as the proper time for love-
making. In fact. cloudy nights don't
dew at ALL Terre Haute Erpress.
@"Which boat shall we take. daugh-
terP" ssLet us take the small steamer,
of course / should feel SO much safer
from pirates and things on male
oat."-OceGn.
..What is Sniggles running forP" 81
didn't know he was running for any
thing" 20, but he is then. saw
him going to church last Sunday.
Boston transcript.
| Brown proudly)-I think, Mary.
chat baby gets his temper from me.
Mrs. Brown-No, John, / don't think
so. think you've got all you ever
had.-Hurper's Bazdr.
Country minister-Little boy, what
will your father say to your fishing
SundayP Little boy-If you kin wait
a minnit he'll tell you. He's jest gone
10 OtS more Ddll.-LJt.
Bella-"How fearfully Miss Hify
does drop her notes this evening""
Smyth (rrminded of some promises To
pav)-.'Y Yes. and 1 envy her the &C
complishment." "-NeW HdUen NeWs.
II am surprised, Horace" said the
Boston girl ON deck to her brother.
~tthat you have on your tropical litiga-
fion this cool day" my tropical
what?" 30, your summer suit -
Ocean.
Angelina-.No, dear, mamma says
mustn't let you kiss me-" Rupert
-.Quite right, Angy, love. You kiss
me instead" ..Ol that's another way
of putting it." and she put it that way.
truth.
Parsons wife-Why, Johnny. you're
not going fishing Sunday, are you?
Johnny-O, nv-no. II only thought
I'D take the pole away from the house
so that my brothers needn't be tempt
ed.--LJe.
Mrs. Bings-There goes poor Mrs.
Blather She bears up well under the
loss of her husband. Mr.. Bings-Yes;
she stands it nobly. Blather carried u
good deal of insurance, you know
LOsUeU Citizen.
Dressmaker-There doesn't seem to
be stuff enough here to make a train
three yards long. Society belle-Dear
me, how much more is needed? about
half a yard" swell, take it off the
neck Philadelphia Record.
why did you invite the doctor and
khe landlord here, Edwardq" ITO
Pacify them. You know we owe them
both. s''Wen, they have accepted
your invitation. Both are here and
both have brought their bills with
Them. Life.
Literary aspirant-Were you able to
nse my poem, sirp Editor-Yes. sir.
Literary aspirant-O, am delighted
70 know it. When did it appear?
Editor-It didn't appear; it disappear
ed. used it to light cigar.-Batr-
Esngton Free Press.
In a New York newspaper office.
Assistant editor-Here's special that
Lord Culilaigh will sail for America
Saturday. Managing editor Wire
the London office to Interview him at
pnce on his impressions of America.
lerre Haute Express.
Prof. Cromwell-So your son goes
back to college tomorrow What is
his class this year? Mrs. Adley-Fve
really forgotten. Edmund, what's
your class this year? Edmund (proud-
Hy)-Two pounds more and I'll be a
middle-weight.
Parkins- No, didn't have much of IA
vacation. was working hard all the
month. Smithers- on your
EacationP Parkins-Yes There was
"a pretty girl at the hotel and worked
eight hours a day trying not to pro-
Pose to her.-Harper's Bazar.
Pretty cousin (to young sissy
Why. Charly, since last saw you you
nave grown quite beard. Young
Sissy Ya'as, Maude; mutton chop
iwhiskers. you know. Pretty cousin.
o, are theyp They look more like
aamb chop whiskers.-Neao IorE Sus.
Impatient husband-Where in the
world have you beenP want my
dinner. Wife-Excuse me, John, but
4 ran down to the sewing society at 5,
and to my surprise it didn't wind up
nntil 81 Husband-You mean it wound
mp at 5 and didn't run down until g..
.NeaO York sam.
! While the men are jawing away like
mad over the tariff, the fishery ques-
zion, and affairs of state generally, the
women keep right on talking about
bias folds, box plating, and so forth.
The women, it should be observed,
know what they are talking about
Boston Transcript
Wedley dn an agony of admiration)
MY darling, you are the most superb,
Enchanting, charming. lovely angel of
R woman that ever Miss Crisp
Abreaking in)-Do you know, Mr..
Wedley, | never knew before why
khey called this part of yacht the
p'taffy-rail?"-IInse.
Enamored youth-Your father treats
me with the most distinguished con-
slderation. The other nj ght he called
me as / was leaving and reminded me
that was forgetting my umbrella.
Sweet girl-Yes, papa was afraid you
would be coming back after it the
next evening. Philadelphia Record