The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1888-12-22
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.


"A South Windham (Me.) man at
tributes the cure of cancer on his
nose to the application of plant
known as wood sorrel."
The flesh OF the crow, while not
exactly toothsome, is said to produce d
thoughtful mood and to render the con-
sumner exceedingly humble and some
what morose.--N. Y. Herald.
1t is said that man can live and
support family on ten cents day in
Mexico. It's wonder that there hasn't
been an excursion of editors to that
country before now.-Ljacolp Journal.
Us any body waiting on your" said
a polite salesman to girl from the
country. Yes, sir" said the blushing
damsel, "that's my Teller outside. He
wouldn't come in"
-Visitor-''Can you tell me, doctor,
what there is in this Christian science
method of treating disease?" Doctor
(testily) can" "What?"
Lots Of humbug, madam" - Teras
SJljsgS.
Lady (deIightedly, to new boarder)
Il must congratulate you, Mr.. By
seps, on your ability as a. carver. You
dismembered that chicken beautifully"
Mr. Byseps-"Thanks; l deserve no
special credit. I'm a stone cutter. ~
Pittsburgh Bulletin.
From the total number of letters
dispatched by every nation it has been
calculated that an Englishman allows
himself on an average an interval OF
ten days between his letters; a French
man, twelve days; a Swiss, a fortnight,
and Russian, $50 days.
"A Reasonable Demand. --She--"No
Mr. Harding, it can never be. But
will always be sister" He (rising)
30, that S the deal, is it? Well then,
sister, if you We got your thimble handy,
wish you would sew up the knees Of
my trousers that | have sacrificed in
finding out our relationship. life.
Young wife (gloomily)-"Do you
suppose our husbands really went fish
ing last Saturday." Second young
wife (confdently)-'I am sure Of it"
First young wife-"They didn't bring
homo any fish" Second young wife
That's my principal reason for beIiev-
ng they W ent fishing. Cartoon.
Arc you quite sincere?' asked a
Detroit gentleman OF a friend last week,
alter hearing the latter say number
of pleasant things to an acknowledged
bore. Entirely So" was the answer.
THE coin is genuine, 1t is the small
change that courtesy throws to that
abject bcggar, stupidity. '-Detr01 Free
Press.
-Husband-"My dear, didn't you
say you once owned a parrot and it got
away?' Wife-"Yes, poor, poor Poll!'
"Was it large green bird with
Roman nose billP" Yes, yes Have
you seen it?'' well there is parrot
on Green street which l think may
have been yours" How lovely! Did
it keep asking for cracker5?" ''No, it
kept asking for money" Philadelphia
Record.
quirod 'f che caller at the jazz Before
he was arrested he owed me little
bill that he promised he would pay at
this date, and he has always been a
man of his word" You can see him
if you will wait few minutes said
the turnkey. His attorney is with
him now" The tailor shook his head
and sighed deeply. There is no use
in my waiting" he said. Chicago Irib-
un6.
AT q social gathering the other
evening, while the wild and elevating
game of ''blind mans buff" was in
full blast, young man fell and frac-
tured his right arm. Something less
dangerous than "blind mans buff"
should be introduced to amuse young
people on such occasions. There S the
French duel, for instance. That might
be quite as exciting, and perfectly
harmless. Drabc'S Magazine.