New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-10-16
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

retailer IN The Shoe and Leather Reporter thus
explalns trick Of the trade sell shoe that costs
me 81 at the original price, and use It as LEADER
Then mark my 81 % shoes at 81 so, the 50 at 50 So
| the So 25 at "a and the go 60 goods at 3d. Sect A
| customer wants to look at my low priced grades;
show them, and bring out all my principal lines
| Likely as not persuade him or her to pay 49, and
this me fair profit No, don't sell many
at 81, and even II did, the less economical buyers
make It UP to me by giving mo handsome profit on
| the better Shoes
Had Never Seen It.-City Poet-what a very queer
looking yellow weed that Is INT.
| Young Lady-Yeow weed Goodness me ms
is the beautiful Golden Rodn that YOU raved ABOUT In
| your last poem-(Time.
| Martin Luther keeps beer saloon In vtngtonst.
| in this city.
| BE Wished to oblge-Mr. oilstrikc taking his wife
to tho restaurant for light lunch after the play,
recognizes his former coachman In the person OF tho
waiter that serves hlml-Ah, William, how are you
| Well That's nice Bring rs some blue points,
William absent indedly, but with tho old time
spirit of obedence)-Yes, suh shall hitch them up
In the gold harness the yellow -Pittsburg
| Bulletin.
There something amusing In the statement pub
lshed in The SUM day or two ago that Captain
Mahern, a retired naval officer, made bet Of $4,000
to 81 900 Cleveland at Youngs Hotel to-day
That retired naval officer should be able to draw
check for $4,000 to make political bet would be
almost miracle as tVtryDouy WIZ hlo"s "Hds tuo
retired pay of both Army and Navy officers is, will
understand. Besides, there is not an officer either
on the active retired list of the Navy by the name
Of Mahern, has there ever BEEN
And now, fellow: citizens said tho political
orator. leave tho Subject r Tit mi yC9 NTH
" Like stunted corncob!' yelled an unconv1nced
old farmer In the audience. '-(Chcago Tribune.
In the town of Orzaba Mexico, there three
papers, the names OF which signify The Rat The
tkat Tba CafD
is all the time trying to catch The Rat
"who IS that lady dressed in black, mamma n
asked Bobby, he sat with his mother on a ferry
boat That is sister of charity, my boy,' replied
and tben he said is She mamma, Faith or
Hope i"-.Harper's Bazar.
Chicago bears take a grim consolation in the fact
that Shakespeare In Horny Tvs may possibly have
referred to Old Hutch" in the line, That boiling
Hutch of beastllncss"
"sayn said the new clerk in the big city post
office =" here about three carloads OF Republican
campaign documents Whatever. shall / do with
sstant P. NJ. Pile 'em up in the corner over there,
and wen sell en- 10 the ora paper man. We
can't circulate Republican campaign documents With
out violating the Presidents order about 'perncious
activity "-(Norristown Herald
"Thc National Echo,o the colored organ of wash
ington, has come out for Harrison and Morton.
short time ago some honeymoon carriages wero
placed e onP ' wo sca Very oe ogese
and everything was done 10 provide for the comfort
of the honcymooners Bur no blushing couples ap
been occupied. The " administration forgot that
people never try hard to look like old matrimonial
hands the day upon which the knot has been
tied.-(Pall Mall Gazette.
"what want to know" says red hot Mississippi
Democrat, as whether this yer bill of Congressman
Mills reduces the tariff shotguns or not. II 1t
doesn't Pm agn It. Why, dang 1t all, 1t costs too
blame much to carry an honest election in this
country"
FUNNY WORLD is THIS.
This world Is very funny,
For matter how much money
Man is earning he will spend 1t, and be hard up all
To his utmost he is straining
To catch up without attaining,
TIL he makes his life burden when 1t should be
bliss sublime.
He who earns thousand merely,
Thinks two thousand dollars yearly
Would be just the figures to make happiness COM
But his income when IT doubles,
Only multiplles his troubles,
For his outgo then Increasing makes his both ends
worse to meet.
IT is run IN debt and borrow,
Flush to-day and broke tomorrow,
Financerlng every which way to postpone the day
Spending money ere ne makes It,
And then wondering what takes II,
- mo- tomb T,nia' ~ Wv '''' '' ~ ' '''' ''''
Oh, this world is very funny
To the average man whose money
Doesn't quito pay for the dancing that he does be-
fore he should,
And he kills himself by trying
Just a little higher flying
Than is suited for his pocket and his own eternal
good.
-(Goodall's SUM-
The Akron Telegram says that the youngest sol
der In the Ohio boy, the Rev. Alfred
C. White now pastor OF the Universaist Church at
Amcsbury, Mass Mr.. White vas born at Newark, Ohio,
November TO- 1883 and mustered into Company
d. OF the 9th O. V. !. in the fall OF 1861,
as drummer boy, being only eight years of age.
"My friend said tho head waiter at the hotel.
as he tapped significantly on the shoulder Of a man
who was making his exit from the dining room,
have dropped TO your little game. This Is the
ninth time you have eaten dinner here without
paying"
with offended dignity and looking the presumptuous
official stcrny In tho eye It's the fifteenth T-Chi-
cago Tribune
A Boston small boy comes forward with new
theory respecting the death Of Moses. His mother
had been reading to him the poem beginning: by
Nebos lonely mountain and had Just finished tho
lines,
|" Eut no man heard the tramplng,
Or heard the train go FORTH
when he burst In with the question: Did Moses die
railroad tracklp
A Man Of Honor.-Ned-Say, Jack can YOU pay that
ei0 you borrowed OF me a week ago
Jack (renectvely)-fen dollars IA week ago -Oh,
ycs-no; can't do IT, Sorry, but ts-ta
Ncd-Iold on minute Can you lend me S10'
Jack-Why, m m.m-certalny, old nan. certainly.
Glad to accommodate you i-Crima