Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1888-02-19
THE MIND CURE.
HOW IT WORKED ON NEW ENGLAND
MAIDBNS.
The Experience Of a Handsome Young Fraud"-
Elderly Ladies Generally the Most Success
fal-A Youthful POetsss Patient.
BY HOWARD

The true story Of how / became q mind
IRE physician will be found both INSTRUCT
i've and MISUNDERSTANDING because
1 had a lively time and 60. 'fired" from
the profession in dynamite style; instruct
i've because there are many people working
the same racket who are smart enough to
make q success of it, as l was not.
1t was in the early spring that struck
the thriving New Eugland city of W. l
was not thriving myself at that time, and
the indications were that if didn't begin
to thrive before long, there would be an
early grave beneath The weeping chestnuts
with its blackboard marked N. Field
ing" Just as the skinny finger Of fate
began to point with awful accuracy
toward starvation, l . got the
inspiration which brought me to W.
My simple but elegant plan was to become
a mind-cure doctor. Why not? l knew
nothing about medicine except that o
whisky cocktail was a good thing TO take
in the morning, but the cure by faith
needs no drugs. Certainly l had faith
enough; had been living on it ever since
my credit gave out. The only other rsqui-
sites, rs I had been told, Were cheek, good
clothes and a soulful eye. Nature had
provided me with the first and last, and
with their aid ! got the second out Of a
corfding tailor. Thus equipped l arrived
in W and hired an office in which /
deposited a trunk full of bricks as security
for the rent.
The experiment started of with q boom.
One of the local papers alluded to ME as q
handsome young fraud" and in two days
/ had several wealthy patients. They
were mostly elderly married ladies who
had been genteel iavalids for many years.
Ordinary common sense told me that there
was nothing the matter with them; and as
| told them so in the delightfully."- vacuous
language of the profession, my conscience
assured me that l was playing the game on
the dead level. Fees of q satisfactory size
were Forthcoming, and l ate three square
meals o day with joy in my soul. About
twice q week on the average / was
exposed" by the papers. and as
they charged me nothing for the ad-
vertisement I began to regard the editors
az jolly good fellows. / obtained a nnn'
Der of first class, genuine testimonials from
ladies who preferred the novel charm Of
being ~miracuiously cured to the worn out
pleasure Of being iucurable. Mrs. j.
Blank Dash allowed her pale but attract
i've countenance to he pictured in the pa
pers with the signed statement that she
had been a victim to melapcholia and in
digestion for five years, and had eaten her
first hearty meal since taking my treat
ment and had been in good health ever
since. This was not only true-it
wasn't half the truth. In tie
first place, it was ten years since
she became an in~valid--only che
didn't want 10 give her age ~away-and
secondly after being persuaded that there
was more fun in q wonderful regeneration
through mental science she went ont aud
had a champagne supper with her bus
band, and wanted TO try kicking The
globes of the chandelier afterwards. he
cause / had said she must take "judicious
exercise" MIR. J. Blank Dash was a jolly
fellow who appreciated the great blessing
of health in bis family; and he anne
around the next day after the champagne
supper with a big head and q big check.
He didn't mind the head q bit, and | was
very glad to get the check.
You're the most palpable delnsion l ever
saw" said he, "but I'm much abliged to
you all the same. Pm a hummer from
Hummersville, myself, and I like a wife
that can share my innocent amusements.
We're going, to keep open house three
nights a week in future with a poker game
in the parlor, and a free lunch in the
diring-room. Come up and see u.s."