The Portland daily press., 1888-06-02

cooking utensils covered the tables, the sink
and the range all seorched and gummed
with the different accumulations of ages.
The cooks assistant sat in the front base
ment-the servants sitting roOm-reading
novel. A couple of dozen squads, nicely
picked, lay upon one end of side table, and
Mrs. De Planners was beating some eggs at
the other end. There was not single YES
sci in this Dountifully provided kitchen that
was in readiness for my use. The presiding
deity appeared not to be aware of my exist
ence. Mary came at my bidding, and after
tedious scraping and securing, saucepan
was made passably clean; just as had got
my soup well under way wagon -loadof new
pots and kettles arrived.
''You see, Miss" Mary explained, as they
were brought in and deposited anywhere
where room could be found for them, 1--WE
was just going to throw these things away;
they was so old, you see.''
"Who ordered these articles?" l asked of
the boy.
"Mr, Guernsey's Henry, ma am" was the
reply.
felt that moment like the compound con-
centrated essence of dynamite. could have
blown up most anything
"Well," l said, ''you will please take these
things back to the store, and say that moth
ing is to be delivered at this house unless
ordered by Miss Cornell, who is manager,
mistress and housekeeper in the absence of
Mr.. and Mrs. Guernsey"
"Them things is going to STAY" said the
"widdy," with her arms akimbo, her face
blazing. II won't cook in nasty pots for no.
body I've been used to ladies, born and
bred, and not to scullings for mistresses.
You'll leave them pots, Bobby, just where
they be-
But 'Bobby" had caught the fire of my
eye, and knew better. Assisted by Mary, he
made off, the tin and the iron beating out
march that was very grateful to my boiling
blood.
1t took some strength of nerve to oversee
the cleaning of this kitchen and the proper
cleansing of all these vessels, but Mary
obeyed my orders with intelligence and
good nature and the result was very crafty
ing.
''She'll give warning, or leave without
warning" said my aunt that morning
1T would have been better to have
bought the gas stove, because you know
that this can only be spasmodic reform.
When Flora gets back she won't thank you
for it,
True as preaching. But thought of dear
old Toms pocketbook, and determined to
persevere.
On the sixth day of the new regime in
formed Henry that l should do the market
ing.
But Mr.-Mr Guernsey left that-that
work in my charge" the man stammered.
until such time as 1 chose to relieve you
of the responsibility" l replied. "That
time has arrived may need your occasion
al assistance in this department., added,
automatically, 'and now, Henry, would
like to have you give me by evening the
itemized bills of this week"
''Oh. but. Miss Cornell, Mr. Guernsey pays
his bills only once in three monthsr' aud
now, Henry's face was a study.
Il am going to pay the bills of this house
once week, Henry, and intend to know to
Attraction of one cent what am paying for.
You will kindly hand me the bills immedi-
ately. That is all have to say now
| That l had exploded bomb in Henry's
camp was plain to be seen. l was getting
into deep water, but there was no help for
it. had seen enough to know that there
was terrible leak in this establishment
| somewhere, and l was resolved to find and
stop it, As an example, the squads which |
had noticed on my first visit to the. kitchen
had not, to my knowledge ever appeared on
the table, and though we had some sort of a
highly seasoned hashed sentry" that even
ing, / had no means of knowing that the
pigeons hearts figured in it. So one day
inquired for the birds.
What become of the little birds? Wall,
now indade that is a funny question:" said
De Flammeas, in her most hostile and often
sive manner. why you ct 'em. of coorse."
"How were they cocked?" insisted
First, ma am, the hearts was entried, and
then the pigeonses was curried into what is
called 'r'yal barbecue But l presume
you have not been accustomed 80 such
dishes"
Il don't think have" replied; ''but
have been accustomed to respect, and in fu-
ture You must not fail to remember that
fact;s" and looked the thieving termagant
straight in the eyes.
Faith, and it's no disgrace not to be able
| w lcCOJhlLC UdlUCCucs was bu6 luUlliUtu all
swer in mellifiuous tones.
| My experience with the tradesmen was
unique But there was not one among the
number who did not appear pleased to take
| my orders, and could feel by the way they
| regarded me that, as honest men, they
| thought it about timefor somebody to look
into things.
Henry's bill was so startling that had the
greatest difficulty in concealing my astonish-
ment. Fish for week, $12 meat $26; poul-
| try and game $21. The bills for fruit aud
groceries were even more preposterous, and
as l hastily totalized the bills of the year at
this rate, l concluded that unless Tom
| Guernsey was a much richer man than had
ever been led to suppose, he could not fail to
be swamped by such extravaganza.
On the occasion of my first marketing l
had sent home sirloin roast with the trim
| mings. These intended to see utilized into
| soup and nice clarified drippings; but when
| Isocght the kitchen on my return the drip
pings were conspicuous only by their alb
sence. Naturally my first business was to
| inquire for them.
"Oh, yis. the waste fat bits, We name"
| was the cool response. 81 niver allow them
| things round. No fust families does.''
"But what did you do with them?' l
asked.
| "Just whisked 'em into the beggar bows
basket, neck and heels, along with some 9TH
er Pavins;" and Miss De Planners hummed
a little roundelay with serenity of impu
dence l never saw approached.
Margaret, / see your month is up to-day"
l remarked, after swallowing my wrath for
a moment; "and here is your money" count
ing It out deliberately; ''and there is no more
work for you to do in this house."
/ once took part in w estern cyclone, and
was in imminent danger of being bombar-
ded out of existence by flping corncribs pig
pens and the like but that was mild COM
| pared to the blizzard that ragged in my cous-
ms kitchen. Mrs. De Planners cast about
her with will. Pie-plates, pot-covers, tu-
reens, pokers. shoyels, everything that the
wild Hibernian could lay her hands on, went
went through the air. Mary, frightened al
most out OF her wits, ran to the door for
| policeman. and fnupd ona HE arrival only,