The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1888-05-11
SELECT STORY.
MR.. AND MRS, BowsER.
MR.. BowrEK TAKES 4 TURN AMONG THE
STORES. ,.t-l~ resi

DuI ulun know you wanted TO
go. Indeed l wish you wouldnt."
"Oh, you do! Are you ashamed to
be seen with me on the streetY'
"You know I'm not. I'm afraid you
-you-"
NV, II. WHAT Hr..
"You'll jaw folks and get into a
quarrel" -
"Mrs. Bowser, are you going soft in
the headY Jaw folksl Get into
quarIell Humphl Are you coming?'
We first visited the carpet store. l
bad not yet made up my mind whetb
er to buy brussels or v.lvet, nor
whether to get light or dark coors
expected to take q chair and have
the clerk roll down about fifty pieces
of each kind, and to be all Of two
hours making up my mind One clerk
an to place chairs for US. A second
arrang, d the window curtains, AID
third inquired of Mr. Bowser
did you wish to look at some car.
petsi"
Did come up here to buy o,s.
tersf' demanded Mr. Bowser.
"Ah-um! Light or dark colors'"
Light"
But the dark are all the style you
know"
81 don't know anything of the sort!
There are plenty of white horses and
houses, and white shirts and hats; and
don't know why light carpets
shouldn't be fashionable. Roll down
this piece"
"Yes, sir; but you won't like it.
This dark pattern is what Mrs. Gov.
Smith selected for her front bedroom
"Yes. Well, may get that for my
horse barn later Oh. Send a man to
measure the room, and give me that
pattern" -..
"Why, Mr.. Bowser!" l said "You
haven't selected already"
Certainly
| "But we've"
Five minutes is enough far any
one to select a carpet, Mrs. Bowser
We want body brussels, and we want
light ground. That's all there's to
it. We will now 60 over and buy the
table linen."aa .ls 1851
"But can't l have time to look
around?" .Ee..
Time! What do you want of timei
You want three linen tablecloths and
two dozen napkins. We've got the
money to pay Tor 'em. What more is
desired?' .....'
l tskuf ,t,a aO an1dnp
$50 are earthquakes. Well go in
here" .u. l..-....--.. .l
| We entered dry goods store and
sat down to the linen eounter. A
young man came forward to wait on
us, and after being told what was want
ed, he inquired:
$50 you want some real linen
Well, here is something l can recon
mend" e..
| us that all linen?"
"Yes, sir"
''Is it, asked Mr.. Bowser, as he
turned to me.
| ! didn't think it was, but told Mr.
Bowser to let it go. 1t was the Gus
tom in all dry goods stores to lie about
such things, and no one thought OF
raising row.
''Madam," said Mr.. Bowser, as he
took the cloth overio a mothelly old
/ lady, sis this all linen?"
| "No, sir; its half cotton!' she re.
piled. after an inspection.
"Where's the proprietor of thi'
storeT' he demanded of the clerk.
l. 'I-I'll call him, sir"
The proprietor came up.
lis that lineni' asked Mr.. Bowser.
''lt passes for linen, SIR" s@
| "If you put cows horns and tai
on horse he'd pass for COW would
hei Sir, this looks to me like a petty
swindle, and one you ought to bt
ashamed off,
| The proprietor hogan to blow up
the clerk, and clerk said he'd resign
and as we got out doors | penned Mr.
Bcwser into doorway and sad:
'Iil never, never dare enter this
store agalnl"
"Don't want you to. The man is 6
liar and the clerk lied by his instruct
Ions. wen Try another.
The next store was crowded, and a.
we reached the linen counter it was to
find every stool occupied. tried to gel
Mr.. Bowser out, anticipating troub e
bu, unfortunately at that moment on,
lady observed to anolh' r:
sDear me, but this is The third after
noon I've come down town to buy g
table cloth aud haven't got suited yet.
sand l want four crash towels, anC
Pve been all over town twice." replied
the other.
"Htre, you'll" snapred Mr.. Bowscr t.
the clerk, "are you busy7'
"Waiting on these ladies, sir"
"Have they bought anythlng'"
"No, sir
| "Are they going TOT"
w-I don't know"
"Well, I've no time to fool away
We want three linen table cloths an,
two dozen napkins"
The ladies arose in great indigra
! tion. Each of them gave me q lool
, that pierced me TO the heart and eacl
one gave M. Bowser a look which ough
to have shortened him two feet IL seve
minutes we had found what we want
ed, paid the bill and were ready to 90
The clerk acted bit sulky, and Nj
Bowser was getting ready to give hin
a blast when appealed TO him t.
hold his peace. l told him it was tn
custom for several thousand ladies t
come down town every afternoon an
shop, and that shopping consisted o
promenading up and down TO shov
7 their suits off TO lot OFF well-dresse,
7 loafers, and entering the stores an,
taking an hour and half TO buy six
pence worth of lace or ribbon. Tn
clerk melted little at the same MON
ent, and got Mr.. Bowser out withou
another eruption.
'Now for the dishes,p he said as W
got out, and We went to crocker
store.
My heart sank as l saw the plac
/ I..o..,Iol x.,ssh 1.l,aa W. halaA ~