Telegram-herald., 1888-12-21

died soon aftervard, aud when I had laid
the good lady 70 rest he erected to her
memory a handsome monument on which
were csrvei these words: Here lies Mrs.
Annie Y. wife of Quintus X. proprietor of
the -- iron works, where the elegant
fence around this lot was manufactured.
Similar ones made TO order
Many years ago, when | first went into
the business, there lived in Brooklyn a
family whom will call Mseder. The hus-
band died and | was called in. He had
been = very handsome man. aud his wife
had been very much q, voted to him. In
making out the carriage list | arranged to
have the widow as Was always customary
81 thar time, accompanied by ner late hus-
bands brother. whose features were as re-
pulsively ugly - those OF the dead man
bad been handsome. When I came 10 read
the carriage list AZ the funeral, aud the
widow learned Of my arrangement for the
first time, she screamed out at the TOP of
her voice. before all the people: Il won't go
with thar tsrnsl ugly-loOkin' critter. but III
f0ller heeder wherever be goes
At the funeral of very aged million
sirs belonging 10 one of the old Nicker-
booker families OF New YORK. which once
directed, his wife an old lady OF 80 years.
walked into the room where he lay in bis
coin about quarter of an hOur before the
time set for the commencement OF the
services and sst down at the feet OF the
corpse. Taxing out her knitting she began
70 work st Il very injustriously. Her
granddaughter observing her with great
surprise said. Why, grandma. surely you
wouldn't knit At Door xrandps's fu1eral2'
Wal. responded the good old dame, Jest
thought | might ss well draw out a few
threads while the people we're gathering
"Tou know Charles Reads. the Iste famed
English novelist, SAYS that many DAvsi-
sicisns receive commission from under
takers for recommending them 20 the fam
lies Of their deceased patients. 7 can testify
20 the correctness Of that statement. and
nay ssO add that the same is true Of
clergyman. I have even known cases
where physicians have been dOubtfnl about
collecting their bill from their patient. but
have bean sure of the u1dertsker's commis.
sion. ard have consequently not exeried
themselves too much 10 secDre ~. patients
recovery.
"A good dssi Of the humor of an under
isksr's life is furnished By two classes of
persons. who attend every funeral they can
hear of-those Who do a. simply becsuss
thsv have msnis for attending funers q
and those -ho do 80 70 enjoy the drive 10
and from the csnetsrY. I knew one Old
i.dv II ths after class Who attended st
lssst one f1nersi every day Of Der life. She
would take I'D q prom i1ent position in close
proximity % the csskst containing the -
MANS. and Won 4 then weep over the corpse
- prniusslv and iescsnt 40 sio1ue1tlv md
touchinEi7 upon the msaT virtues sni
NOBLE qualities Of the deceased. tAe0Eh n
his lifetime Sc hsi been 1tteriY urcOn-
scious Of his exisfa7ce. thai he nr3srtsker
thinking her one ~ ire dearest and oldest
friends of ths fsmiiv. would feei II his
duty % ssk her for her name snd - enroll
it n the MOST desirable p'soe On his car
risge isE
''Thst grsst clerics wit Si5nsv Smith.
w0nd hsve maize sn ex ,sisus undsrtaker
for he hsd a hixh anpreci alton ~ TIE
aunor0us features 1f ne husineSs. n one
Of a. inimiss.oie ierre-s b. bas written
For the heSrtiest nIrth s1i joi ~ in he
World commend rls to tie as; carriage ~ =
f1nersI
There q 10 rors herifhfai husi ness
thsn undertaking seesr<s fhsre is 40 caa-
fnem sut aho1f T. Ar 1nferftsey ~hs1
busy is constantly n ne open az Easnz
eet~een his pisce cf business s1d ehs
residences II as rarrons 8riving - csaae-
ter;es. chnrc1ss &C. I ~ss dFst snBiavAs
IN a. underssser's sfHsse -aea = kow hns
80 s<ins sss sssi,~ss tAsroaxaly &C.,