Morning journal and courier., 1888-10-06
NO. 238
FAIR.

Polite conductor-Your fare madam.
 Miss Cossy Cob (from Stamford)-Youd
 orter seen me before got sun n-scorched at
 Aunt Tanners clambake.-Tme.
 Miss Prym (aged 45, to Master Harry, aged O-What would you do, my little man, if gave you kiss9
 Master Harry-Rush for tooth brush Town Topics
 Little Waldo (of Boston)-Mamma, which l is 1t proper to Eay-eat soup or drink it? Mamna-You should say sip it my dear. It is only people who have never lived in Bos-
 ton who say otherwise.-Town Topics. Clars-Oh, Charliel Mamma has made us
 8 present of that lovely motto, "What is
 home without motherp Isn't she an an gelG
 Charlie (gloomily)-I wish she was.-Low- ell Citizen.
 Schultz-what was going on over at your
 house last nights It sounded like an earth quake.
 Millsr-Oh, nothing at all; it was B mere
 trihe, in fact. My wife asked why came home so late.-Texas Siftings. Dealer (to elerk)-'spm going to mark
 those boys diagonal suits $15 tomorrow" Clerk-"F Fifteen dollarsl Why, we've been selling them for $10 all along" Dealer-"I know it, but I'm going to give away base ball bat with each one of them free of charge" ."-Detroit Free Press Safe, though Ruin Threaten.-"Vot vas ve going to do, fadder," said little Abraham as he laid down the newspaper, eff dose Dem- ocrads take of de duty on wool? It means ruin, sure; de prices vas too low alretty!"
 ''Nefer you fear, mine little sohn," replied
 the old man. Git will not affect dis peezniss;
 dere vas not an ounze of wool in all de clod-
 hings in dis emporiumI
 Just the Same-He was enquiring of 8
 farmer at the Central Market about cider, and iually asked: eff pay you eight cents gallon will you put just as much water in it as if only paid you 6vea" 1T suppose so," was the reply. 'fThe temptation would be
 there and the water would be there, and have hired man who never gives anything
 way."-Detroit Free Press. Marriage failurea" soliloquized Rev. Mr. Joynun, in the solitude of his study, as he opened the modest little envelope the bride groom had handed him 8 few hours before and found $100 bill inclosed. Marriage
 failure" he repeated with emphasis and in- dependent fervor as he placed the bill in his
 pocket; Ion the contrary,I I should pronounce it bowling success. ."-Chicago Tribune. Laura is little girl of five years old, who is very much interested in learning to read. The other day she was studying over a list of words, and sister Gertie, who has been aI- 1 most through the Third Reader, was helping her. The word "fur" proved especially pug zling, and the little ones forehead contract ed into innumerable wrinkles. "Why, you know that word, Laura!" ex- claimed Gertie, eagerly, ''it's something that cats have"
 Like a flash the little girls face frightened as she cried: "I know-fts. ."Youth's Com panion.
 Among the wedding gifts of Lenox young l woman was tall lamp of iron framework at ! whose base were three heads of some animal. What animal was meant to be represented had been food for speculation among the I brides friends ever since the lamps arrival. l At the wedding reception, ss a number were
 looking. at the gifts, Miss A. said to Miss B., l in moderate tone, for fear the giver of the lamp might be near, "Entre nous, I think it's donkey" A dudish young man chanced to be standing near them, and Miss
 B. shifting her position, brought the young | man all unconscious between her and her 1 friend, to whom she then quietly and signi- fcantly remarked, ''Entre nous, I believe it ! is. s."-Harper's Bazaar.