davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28
MINOR
N. Y. Plumbing company.

N. Y. Plumbing company.
Only 80 IS at Chapman's art store.
Elegant ~overcoatings at A. Refers,
merchant tailor, 3l2 Broadway.
Best hard and soft coal and Missouri
wood. f. T.. Mayne, 6l9 Broadway,
The w. G.. A. ladies will hold a committee
meeting tomorrow monday at 3 o'clock
with Mrs. Shugart.
A centrally located, finely furnished
roo to rent to one or two gentlemen.
Must furnish references. Address 7. IS,
BEE office.
The ENFORCEMENT case of Charles Grifiths
was yesterday continued until tomorrow
morning, as the defendants attorney was
not ready for trial.
The paving of Broadway extension was
completed at ten minutes before IL yester-
day, and the great thoroughfare to Omaha
was finished at last.
The sixteen new cars for the electric motor
line, that arrived Friday over the North
western, were unloaded yesterday and re-
moved to the car house by horse power.
The Council Bluffs Investment company
will occupy on the first of November the
room 10 in Everett'a block, recently occupied
by the Herald Printing company.
The mayor has been notified to visit the
new bridge tomorrow for the purpose of
inspecting it. to see that all requirements
nav oNth NohIIlltu hbi bIiht t'NiS 10
no reason why the bonus voted by the city
should not be paid.
A plat of Sackett's addition to the city Of
Council Bluffs was filed yesterday with the
county recorder. The tract lies between
avenues A and ID and Twenty-sixth and
Twenty-eighth streets. 1t is Just east of
Evans Bridge addition.
The continued case of James Raffe for as
sault and battery was called before Judge
Aylesworth yesterday morning, as the at
'torneys desired to argue the case before sub
hitting it. but as they were not ready, an
other continuance was granted until to.mor-
row.
Mrs. Martha Holmes entertained a very
enjoyable dancing party at her home, 800
Fourteenth avenue, Thursday evening, on
the occasion Of her eighteenth birthday.
Choice refreshments were served, and the
large number Of guests were most Hospitality
entertained.
;. Dolson was arrested yesterday morning
charged with malicious mischief in defacing
property IN the yard Of John Ahles at 10
North Main street. The defendant was
taken before Squire Schurz and placed under
800 bonds to appear tomorrow for trial.
He furnished the required amount and was
released.
John Mooney, who was sentenced to thirty
days in jail at the last term of the federal
court, for illegal liquor selling at Missouri
Valley, was released on Wednesday to at
tend the funeral of one Of his children He
still had three days to serve and promised to
return. Sure enough, on Friday evening he
reappeared at the Jail entrance to be locked
up. His time expires tomorrow. Sheriff
CNeill says that such cases are quite COM
mon, and that persons almost invariably
keep their word under such circumstances.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28
See Forrest Smith special column.
Fast Flyers.


The following are the entries for the races
at the Union park, Council Bluffs, November
/, 9 ana 8:
2:35 CLAss-TRoTTING
G. Rowley, Lewis, Ia, b. m, Lady Leigh
ton; Peter Delier, Sioux City, Ia, b. s.,
Welshman; II. Knaul, Denison, Ia, CHI. T.,
Fannette; c. ID. Talmadge, Fairmont, Neb.
br. m, Jennie Lynn; Charles Mccormick,
Omaha, Neb., blk. v, Peter Gardner; w. H.
II. Colby, Fort Dodge, Ia, blk, m, Mollie
H.; A. Thompson, Omaha, Neb., CHI. III.
Betsy Baker; b.. j. Moore, Dunlap, Ia, ch.
s., Golden Wing.
ESQ cLAss-TRoTrrSG AND PACING.
Charles Gregory, Council Bluffs, b $, Cy-
clone; N. |. ID. Solomon, Omaha, Neb.. Z.
Omaha, Neb., b. g., johns; Sam Baird,
Nunlap, Ia, blk. m. Nellie sherman
j.. c. Elliott, Omaha, Neb., g. g., Oliver Z.
2:30 CL~Ass-TRoTTING.
j.. d. Yoemans, Aurora. N, Y, ch $, Nor.
way: N. |. ID. Solomon, Omaha, Neb., blk s,
Black Wilkes; l.. l.. Garrison, Reynolds,
Neb., S &, Pau.
2:40 CLAss-TRoTTINa.
G. Rowley, Atlantic, Ia, b m, Ibis; Peter
Delier, Sioux City; Ia, Welchman; ;. Il.
Gilman, Omaha, Neb., br G.. Frank; A. F.
Nash, Sioux City, Ia b G, Castleton; S. r.
Smith, Spencer, Ia, oh e, Frank d; w. II.
H. Colby, Fort Dodge, Ia, blk IN, Lulu H.
2:3O LAsS-TRoTTING
Charles Gregory, Council Bluffs, Ia, b s,
Cyclone; M. A. Kelsey, Superior, Neb., blk
&, Joker; C.. o. Talmadge, Paramount, Neb.
b &, Iii; Sam Bard, Dunlap, Ia, blk III, Mel
lie Sherman; Charles Mccormick, Omaha,
Neb., b <, Captain Hunt; q. w. Beach, Au-
burn, Neb., br $, Talavena.
1923 CL~ASS-PACISG.
j. Fl. McShane. Omaha, Neb., g g, Joseph
L.. Charles Mccormick, Omaha, Neb., & &,
St. John; N. !. d.. Solomon, Omaha, Neb., Z
r. IL ID@a~,,t1.. \ ~ & H.,-h, Mol
& &, Oliver f..
Two-YEAR LDs-TROTTING y PACING.
N. l. ID. Solomon, Omaha, Neb., b C, Win
slow Wilkes; p. MclIvOy, Elkhorn, Neb., /
N, Dinah; Ed. II. Burnett, Dunlap, Iowa, blk
s, Young Ranger.
The secretary has several entries received
by wire, which are informal, and not In
cluded in the above list.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28
The Creed OF the Bells.


The following announcements are made of
the religious services to DO held to-day:
Berean Baptist Church-Preaching at the
residence of James Kismith. l72S Second
avenue. Sunday school at IL m. at First
avenue school house on Fifteenth street.
Prayer meeting at pastors residence, ri
Willow avenue.
Presbyterian-Preaching both morning
and evening by the pastor. In the morning
the newly elected elders will be ordained,
and the theme suited to the occasion will be,
What is Presbyterianism. Sabbath school
at IL o'clock. Strangers and others cordially
invited.
Saint Paul's Church-Services to-day at
II a. IN. and 7:3O p. IN. Sunday school, IL 10.
Young Mems bible class, ~ 10. Evening
sermon, 'The Omaha and Council Bluffs
bridge opening, and the advantages to be de-
rived thercfrom.'
Broadway Methodist-Services at 10 80 a..
m. and go p. m. Preaching by the pastor,
ID. c.. Franklin.
Y. M. G. A.-Young mems conservation
meeting at the association parlors, corner
Broadway and Main streets, Sunday morn
ing at $3.50 O'Clock. All young men are in
vited. Special song and special service for
young men at 4 p. m.
Preaching in the First Baptist church by
the pastor on Sunday at l0:30 a. m. and Z 80
p. m. Sunday school at 1900 O'Clock.
Young peoples meeting at 6 80 p. IN.
All Saints chapel. corner Eighteenth
street and Third avenue-Service and SER
mon at 10 80 a. m and 7:3 p. IN. Sunday
school 3 100 p. m. All persons interested in
mission work are earnestly urged to attend.
r OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES morning and even
ing; preaching by the pastor. Morning sub
ject, "Stones from the Jordan: - evening,
''Temtatlon." a cordial invitation is eX-
tended.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28
Personal Paragrapbs,

Mr.. William Young, of Macedonia, was &
visitor in the Bluffs yesterday.
John Given, superintendent of the ROCK
Island, was in the city yesterday.
O. o. st. John returned last evening from
a three weeks business trip through Ne
braska.
Miss Emma Etnyre, of Oregon, ILL.,, is Wis,
ting her sister, Mrs. $. b. Wadsworth, on
Oakland avenue.
II. j. Cory and family, of Denver, are the
guests of Mrs. J. l.. Stewart, who is a sister
OF MIR. Cory. The visitors have just returned
from an extended European tour.
MIR. r.. w. Mackay, wife and daughter, OF
st. Paul, are the guests of Rev. T.. J,
Mackay, OF this city. Mr.. Mackay accom-,
panied his family as far as this city, and
they will proceed to California.
Mr.. and Mrs. j. !. Cutting, of San Fran.
cisco, have been visiting with the family OF
Phil Armour, on Sixth street. for the past
few days. They are returning from q visit
TO New York, and will leave for home this
morning.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28
Twenty People Were Injured.

PARIS, Oct, 27.--Twenty persons were Sc
verely injury during the row at the Bou-
langist meeting in Sale Wagram last night.
The Boulangist newspapers charge the po-
lice with bringing ABOUT the disturbance.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

Notice the beautiful finish given col
lars, cuffs and shirts by Cascade Laun-
dry company.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28
The Contract Awarded.

The contract for the removal of the Pacific
house has been awarded to Lars Jensen, and
the work will begin tomorrow. Within
thirty days active building of the Eiseman
block will be in operation. The completed
plans show a four-story block, whose exter-
nal adornments and internal arrangement
and elegance is not surpassed by any block in
the west.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

Shane. He also offered to bet 81, 900 to $500
on McShane. This might have led republic
cans to think him drunk and disorderly, but
McCracken saw no improperly in thus ex-
pressing his enthusiasm, even during "a re-
publican celebration.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28
A New servian Constitution.

BELGRADE, Oct. Eft is officially stated
that a special commission, TO be composed Of
seventy persons and TO include representa-
tlves of all parties, will be appointed to
frame o new constitution.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28
Boots, shoes. Kinnehan's, 1926 B'way
For the

The G. A. II. hall will be open on Tuesday
for the reception and entertainment of all
veterans who visit Council Bluffs on that
day,
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

For Sale Cheap-LoJs neal the bridge
to parties who will build at once. Ad-
dress or call on j. II. Rice, No. 40 Main
street. Council Bluffs.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28
8. b. Wadsworth e. Co. loan money.

Money loaned at l.. B. Crafts & Co. IS
loan Office, on furniture, pianos, horses,
wagons, personal property of all kinds,
and all other articles Of value without
removal. All business strictly conf
Dental.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

All ladies desiring to Join the Ladies'
Musical society of Omaha and Council
Bluffs can procure membership tickets of
Mrs. II. NJ. Treynor, Wednesday afternoon,
October 81, at Cos First avenue. These
tickets admit members to the piano recital
given by Adele Ans Der Ohe before the
society next Friday afternoon at Max
Meyers hall, Omaha.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28
Republican Town Ticket.

The republicans of Kane township met in
convention yesterday afternoon for the pur-
pose Of nominating a township ticket 10 sub
init to the voters at the coming election. The
result was as follows:
Justices Of the Peace-E. S. Barnett, c. +.
Reed and w. L.. Biggs.
Constables-Colonel John Fox, j. Z. Brooks
and 5. Covalt.
Trustee-Dr. 0. w. Gordon.
Clerk-D. Il. Witter.
Some OF those present objected to the name
OF Squire Biggs, as he was a candidate at the
hands of the democrats, but his friends
pulled him through.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

Buy "A lot on Broadway and realize so
per cent IA month OIL your investment.
Odell Bros. & Co.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

+. H. Sheafe loans money on chattel
security Of every description. Private
consulting rooms. All business strictly
confidential. Ofice 500 Broadway, cor
ner Main street, up stairs.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

e. III. Sheafe e. Co. make long or
short time loans on real estate, in sums
TO suit, at lowestrate Of interest. Office
Broadway and Main street, upstairs.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

Money loaned on fu rniture, pianos.
diamonds, horses, buggies or anything
of value at low rates of interest. No
publicity; fair and honorable dealing.
A. A. Clark & Co., Office cor. Broadway
and Main, over American express.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28
j. G. Upton for Broadway lots.

Plainview lots.
BENSON & SHEPHERD.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

The finish on our collars, cuffs and
shirts cannot be equalled. Cascade
Laundry Co..
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28
Comnapv =, Attention!

Every member Of Company n .s hereby
ordered to report at the armory Tuesday
morning, October 80, at $50 O'Clock. BY
order Of A. w. CowLEs,
II. c. WELLS, Soc'y, Captain Commanding.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28
Saint Bernard Place.

have a number Of fine lots for sale
in the above addition, located only two
blocks away from the street cars on
Broadw way. These lots are 5Ox25O feet,
and are choice residence property.
They are high and dry and present q
commanding view, For full informa-
ton regarding prices and terms apply
to j. G. Upton, sole agent, 527 Broad
way.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

Illinois and lowe best soft coal, Glea-
son, 26 Pearl street.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

e For bargains in real estate in any
part of the city see +. j. Day, the lead
ing real estate dealer.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

Loans made on city business and resi-
dencc property. Notes bought. Kim
ball-Champ Investment company.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

Best bargains in real estate. Odel
Bros. Il Co.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

Ave. B lots at $400. small payment
down, balance on long time at low rate
of interest. Odell Bros. a. Co.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

Guns and ammunition at Odell &
Bryant's hardware and stove house.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

| wish to buy several lots to build on
at once. G. b. Judd, 606 Broadway.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28
Duet-"Holy Father Guide Thy Chill
The Ladies, Musical Society.

First avenue lots for sale at a bargain.
Cdell Bros. e. Co
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

Have our wagon call for your soiled
clothes. Cascade Laundry Co.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

We have no competitors in finishing
collars, cuffs and shirts. Cascade Laun-
dry Co..
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

songs OF n sanctuary.
The following selections will be presented
at the Congregational church this morning in
connection with the musical part of the
services:
Mr.. De NormandIe.
Duet-"Holy Father Guide Thy Chill
Mrs. Wadsworth and Mrs. Evans.
Response-"Hear Us, Oh Father. Knight
Choir.
Solo-"Better Land". Cowen
Mrs. j. G.. Wadsworth.
Anthem-"He Shall Come Down Like
Choir.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

j. G. Upton has bargains in real es
tate.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

Omaha addition lots.
BENSON g. SHEPHERD.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

Fresh California canned goods at lib
bits. $40 Broadway
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

We do not intend to indorse any except arti-
Giles of merit, but we take pleasure in referring
to the Garland Stoves and Ranges. whose
superiority is too we'll established. to be called
in question. They are believed to be uneq uRled
by any in the world. Sold exclusively by T. c.
DE Vol.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

j.. G. Upton for Benson's first addi-
ton.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28
Songs of the Sanctuary.

Morehouse & Co., blank book manu-
facturers.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

Rock Spring coal, Gleason, 26 Pearl
street.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28
Trackage lots.
BENSON e. SHEPHERD.

On the 30th the w. c. A. ladies will
serve dinner for % cents at the Pacific
house. A lunch counter will also be
conducted.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

DR.. c. c. Hazen, dentist, opera house
block.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

Odell Bros. g. Co. loan money on real
estate.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28
See w. c. Stacy's ad.

Mrs. L. Summons, dressmaker, 3l4 Broad.
way, over Eiseman's, on electric motor line.
Special advantages to Omaha ladies'.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28
South Omaha's Chieftain.

First Avenue lots.
BENSON g. SHEPHERD.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

Broadway lots.
BENSON e. SHEPHERD.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

See FORREST Smiths special column.
j. G. Upton for ferry lots.
Twin City lots.
BENSON & SHEPHERD.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28
S. G. Upton for Bryant g. Clark.

See Forrest Smiths special column.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28
o.35 CLAss-TRoTT

The following are the entries for the races
at the Union park, Council Bluffs, November
1 Q and g.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

HOUSES for rent. Johnston N Van Patten
IL 80 Main st.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28
WANTS.

kNOR RENT-A furnished room, suitable for
II two gentlemen, ground floor, very centrally
located. Applicant must give reference. Adj
dress r.. l6, lee office.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

NOR RENT-A large number of good dwell
ings. Call and examine list. Is. II. Sheafe
&Co., Broadway and Main ST.. up stairs.
Omaha daily bee., 1888-10-28

nor RENT-Seven-room cottage, on the cor
I ner OF 3D. ave. and 9th st. W. {. James.
The Chickasaw messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1880-1900, 1888-05-17

fastened 80 long 10 such useless
work. The quilt when completed
will be no better for use than the
81 quilt made ofplain material.
"Well," said the court reporter
to his new assistant, anything 90.
ing on in court to-day" Nothing
much" said the assistant. "Busi-
ness must be dulli" every dull. "
'But were no motions made -
cone" "Well, did the Judge en-
terrain itP' "No; ruled it out. "
Ruled out a motion What was
it?" "Ono lawyer made a motion
TO throw an ink bottle at the head
of another lawyer. Judge said it
should not come before him, but
said he would appoint two masters
and a referee, and let the case be
decided at the Fair grounds. Case
was taken under advisement by
friends"
The Chickasaw messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1880-1900, 1888-05-17
Is Consumption Ineurable?

Read the following; Mr.C.H.Mor-
ris, Newark, Apk,,says: was down
with Abspess Of the lungs, and
friends and physicians pronounced
me an Incuiable Consumptive. Be
gan taking DR.. Kings's New Dis
covery for Consumption, am now
on my third bottle, and able to
oversee the work on my farm. It
is the finest medicine ever made. "
Jesse MIddlewart, Decatur, Ohio,
says" Had il not been for Dr.King's
New Discovery tor Consumption l
would have died OF lung troubles.
Was gwen up by doctors. Am now
in best of health" Try it. Sample
bottle free at H. R. Moore's drug
store.
The Chickasaw messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1880-1900, 1888-05-17
Club Rates.
Announcements.
CURRENT NEWS.
Among our Exehanges.l

uE akANNt NNAH VI ~" "eHNaA "
are not compelled to turn out TOR
royal carriages.
Sullivan lost none of his brag, it
seems. After another defeat he'll
want to fght in q barrel.
Mr.. Bonner will not put mon
ument at the head of Dexter's
grave. He stops at poor relations.
It is charged that Rhode Island
has more ghosts than any other
State in the Union. Ghosts and
claims 90 hand ia hand.
Taken altogether, seven feet of
snow fell in Minneapolis last win
ter, and most Of it was worn off the
sidewalks by strangers.
Il have been a prescription
clerk for twenty-six years and bis
is my first mistake" 1t was in
New Orleans, and be killed his
man.
There is an old law on the stat
ute books Of Connecticut making
it misdemeanor, punishable by a
fine of 500, to fish on Sunday.
Oscar Wild declares that no
married man can become a dude,
and he might add, that no one of
common sense would be if he had
the chance.
French flats have had their day
in New York. 1t is about the same
things as hotel life, and one how.
ling baby can disturb dozen tam.
lilies.
1t takes a Chicago belle thirty,
five minutes to work a pair OF
gloves on her hands, and then
she must keep every finger
straight until they come off.
If the sympathy which is wasted
on criminals was bestowed upon
the rich they might be brought to
look upon the world as not alto.
gether heartless.
The New York News offers Sl0C
reward for any well authenticated
case Of faith-cure. It is a perfect
~ safe offer There never ha.
been one-except in somebody's
eye.
1t may do you some good tC
learn that there is no country or
the face of the earth with house
flies and mosquitoes. They are
worse in Iceland in summer thar
in winter.
A railroad passenger from New
York to Chicago is expected to
give the sleeping car porter al
least 81 and to spend three more
for fruits, candies and reading
matter.
One branch of the New York
Legislature favors electricity as a
means Of executing while the other
doesn't seem to care how. where
or when they are got rid OF.
"Thc year 1883 will be a year Of
war" is the prediction ola seventh
son in New York. Show US q
year in the last twenty in which
there has not been war somewhere
Lady Colin Campbell will MOI
deliver two lectures in America fol
$4,000. She doesn't exactly want
the earth, but she wants $4,000
and she will want for good while
King Humbert, of Italy, goe.
out o'nights in disguise to hear
what the people say ofhim, and be
often hears criticisms that lead ia
reforms. He is, in the nam, a bull.
~ boy.
Plnkerton counts up l3s Ameri-
can boodlers, large and small, in
Canada, and he adds that IT'S OF
them would make almost any sort
Of sacrifice to be restored to home
and country.
The Chickasaw messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1880-1900, 1888-05-17
DIARRHEA or FLUX.

Flux, Diarrhna. and all Summer Complaints
are completely checked and cured In q few
hours BY Collins Aguo Cure. TRY II.
sold svsryWhsrs By all Dealers AZ 30 eta q Bottle.
EK-Ask ysur Dealer for . Copy Of the CoIIuHB
PRBsENT CENTURY ALMANAo, or Address
COLLINS Bros. DRUG CO.. 81. LOUIS, NO.
The Chickasaw messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1880-1900, 1888-05-17

Medicines, Toilet ArtioIes, N Q
fumery, Stationery, Patent Pre-
icines, Trusses, Braces, etc,
Lamps and Chimneys, Cigars.
Chewing and Smoking Tobacco, or
anything kept by Druggists, call
on J. NJ. DAVIS North Side
Main Street.
sA- The Prescription Depart
ment is superintendent by expert
eneed persons, and perfect aecura
cy guaranteed. Call when you want
the most goods for the least
money.-0ot. p, 'S5-6m.
The Chickasaw messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1880-1900, 1888-05-17

II
would have gone up with a grand
crash instead Of dying such CON-
mon death.
The Concord School Of Ph,loso-
ply promises to let up on its dig
for the unknowable this summer.
It could do better by catching COM
mon Goldfish, and selling them at
the regular market prices.
Major Popoff, of the Bulgarian
army, has been sent up four years
for stealing. 1t is a pity that death
did not cause him TO Popoff in bat
tic. There is something very sad
in the case Of a man who has been
hero and lives to be thief; but
there is no knowing what politics
will do for a man.
Tid-Bits: A High OAice-'what
does your father do?' asked the
teacher of the new boy. He's a
contractor, was the reply. "A
railroad contractor No, ma'am;
sausage contractor. He ties up
the ends after another man has
filled EN-"
The Birmingham Herald gives a
dig at somebody's partly patent
inside as follows: "There is no
such thing as concealing brass on
the check or potmetal in a paper.
You may headline, you may litho-
graph at will, but the scent of the
pot will hang around it still"
The register of deeds issued FIVE
marriage licenses the past week,
only one (which was for white
eouple.-Wilmington, n. c. Star.
SO many dark deeds ought not TO
be registered. The colored popu-
lation should not be allowed to do
all the marrying. By and by they
will be having all the children, and
then they will be wanting 20 hold
all the offices.
The Epoch: Minister'S wife
(whose husband is short of a SER
mon)-Here is an old one, dear,
that you preached several years
ago, before you accepted your
present call; why not use It? Min
ister-What is the text? Minister'S
wife-It is about the camel and
the eye Of the needle. Minister
That wouldn't do at all. Don't you
know that preach TO twO-hund-
red million dollar congregation
every Sunday morning!
Youths Companion; The all
pcrvading sense Of dependence
upon some one else which charac-
terizes the office-seeking class is
Illustrated in a briet conversation
at the national capital. Johnny, "
called out an anxious Washington
mother, sizes you stop flingin stuns
them boys" "Why mar" demand.
cd the young Philistine, "BCcos
their pa is your pas inAOOence, n
'fyou 60 to THROWN stuns yer
dad'll be outn a job"
The Idea: smithson-I saw you
at the theatre last night, believe,
Miss Bacon. Did the performance
come up to your expectation ?
Miss Bacon (who is a member OF
the Cheyenne Culture Club)-I can
hardly say that l was wholly salts
fed, Mr.. Smithson. Why that
hero fatigued me every time he
pulled his gun. The slowest cow
puncher on our ranch would pump
him full Of lead before he could
get his hand away from his hip.
Tid-Bits; Patent Medicine Man
q editor)-You made a nice mess
Of that testimonial advertisement.
Editor-How? Patent Medicine
Man-John Smith wrote: "Your
1--we Forever Pellets are doing
me a great deal of good. Send an
other box" and 1 told you to give
it a prominent place. Editor-I
did; Immediately preceding the
death notices. Patent Medicine
Man Yes; and the first death no
1 fice on the list was that of JobR