The Sully County watchman. (Clifton, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1894, 1888-12-01
WIT AND HUMOR.

style in shirtsp Seco"d tramp-Turn-
style. Tcrre Haute Express.
1t costs the Grand Turk Sal 900, 900
n year for household expenses. He
must keep at least two girls. Time.
1t seems appropriate to put the list
| of marriage licenses issued under the
head of court news. PutSbnrg Chron-
iclc.
| 1t is now believed that Venus rose
| from the sea to allow the hired girl TO
make the bed of the ocean.-Detroh
Free Press.
A Cabbage Trust has been organized
on the customary trrst principle that
one head is better than two.--Ierre
Haute ErpreSS.
Funny that fast young man never
thinks about settling down until it has
become utterly impossible for him to
settle up.-Teras Sytings.
| Christian martyrGn the spirit worldly
Were you ever on rack? Modern
spirit-No. but I've been on dentists
chair.-PhiIddeiphia Record.
True nobility consists in paying
ones debts before the tradesmen are
done wearing themselves out with
duns.-Nesc Orleans Picdynne.
A philosopher says: '.Modesty is
maiden's necklace o, my! 0, my!
| Then it would be worn at Il full-dress
ball.-Neto Orleans Rcay"nc.
Father-..You have been three years
at the university, now tell me what
YOU have done" Son-"I have taught
three dogs to drink beer. German
Fun.
Many a drinking young man who
goes into pawnshop would be glad
to take the pledge, but the pawnbroker
won't let him for obvious reasons
Washington Critic.
In Ecuador it is understood that the
employer shall board the cooks family.
| The case is similar in America, only
the employer doesn't understand it.
BRAKES Magazsne.
Peddler-Am / addressing the lady
of the house? Girl-Which lady, the
washlady, the culinary lady, or If you
want to see the doorlady, why that's
me.-1erre Haute Express.
We hear from time to time of severe
storms that do vast damage to fisher
mems boats, but the number of smacks
| IDsi III Sta 10 w NhI
lost on land.-R0cheSter ErpreSS.
Philadelphian-Tha st. Louis friend
of yours is the most quiet, unobsery-
ing, unobtrusive Western man l ever
met in my life. st. Louis man-1es,
he used to be n policeman.-Phttddet-
l3hia Record.
The amount of strength exercised in
an ordinary hand shake is eleven
pounds. Ii you owe the other chap bor-
rowed money and hope to stand him
off the estimate runs as high ms sixty
six pounds. Free Press.
Sentimental lady-"This world is
vale of tears. Even the beautiful rose
has thorns." Prosaic visitor-"I would
not mind that so much, but that shad
are so full of bones is an outrage on
the human race. .n-1eTdS SyttRgS.
My dear your mouth is perfect
poem" 20. how can you say such a
thing as that?' 'Well, it is like
popular poem ut least. 1t is SO widely
red And the matrimonial mercury
fell 40 degrees at once.-1e'Te Hdate
ETprcSs.
Myrtle-Hc's awfully attentive to
her, you know. Lily-How far has it
gone? Myrtle-Yery far I'm afraid.
He held her praycr-book upside down
ut church, yesterday, and I'm sure |
heard him say "a woman" instead of
"amen. Time.
Don't fret, john" said Mrs. Wig
gins You've lost nearly everything
You had in the world, know, but re-
) member you've still got me-" Yes"
said John, with another heartfelt
groan. That's just what Twas think
ing."- Journal Of Education.
..Mr. De Cash asked me to elope
with him only the night before he ran
away to Canada" confded Gussie.
'And you refused. of course?" "Yes,
my dear" she replied; "as soon as he
told me his embezzlement amounted
to only $40, 900" ."-NeO York Sun.
whats the name of this playp' asked
young lady of her escort at Albaugh's
last night ut the close of an act. Isl
beria," he replied as he started to go
out. Thanks" she said sarcastical-
ly, Il thought possibly it was Two
beeria." Then he didn't go out
Washington Critic.
Railroad dining station proprietor
'lf the new superintendent of this road
amt discharged pretty soon Ill be
bankrupt" Friend-"What's he doin'
to ye?n Hes running the trains so
regular that the passengers get plenty
of time to eat their meals, hang him."
Philadelphia Record.
Snap actor-I have called, sir, to ask
you to insert n line to the effect that
have just refused an offer of $500 n
I week. Accommodating editor.-With
8 pleasure. Is there anything else / can
: do f~ you, sir? That's all, unless
= you have a spare dime about you."-
Philadelphia Record.
1t is all very well for the papers to
discuss the question, us Marriage n
: Failurep' 1t amuses their readers and
adds to their sale. But there is not a
woman in America who will be con-
, WINGED either one way or the other ex-
, cept by personal experience. Nor n
I man either.-F'0rt Worth (IeraS) Ga
| zette.