The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-04-24
BRIGHT BITS.

MANIE-O, Susie, I'm going to be married!
Susie-Are You: Have you had proposal?
MaInie-No; but | have lust learned type.
writing. It'd Bits.
AN OLD MAN who never did anything worse in
his youth than throw snowfall at a dead cat,
will amuse himself BY the hour telling you what
bad boy he was.-Ptitddetphta Cda
AN ONO MAN has patented a revolving hall
tree with twelve pegs IN it, and the man who
comes home drunk can probably manage to hit
one OF them with his haU.-Detrou Free Press.
LADY OF THE HOUSE (archy)-My husbands
not at home, Mr.. Goodenough. He's gone to
call on some pretty women OF his acquaintance.
Caller-Ah. I've given that up long ago
Punch.
AN OHIO NAN lived on one meal per day until
he could pay merchant the SIS he owed him.
lie is, we believe, the only Ohio man VINO has
not been suggested for President.-OmdAd
World
PHILANTHRoPIsT (sternly why did you throw
that banana peel on the sidewalk:
Misanthrope (dehantly)-Because yesterday
the banana peel threw me on the sidewalk. =
Bludette.
HAPPY COUPLE" mused Pompour, as Mr. and
Mrs. Fresh pass-d by. What trusting love
Why have known that man to wear home
made smoking jacket, and imagine that it fitted
him. lid BITS.
beautiful: Do you know, Miss Rouge, they re
mind me of you.
she leoftly)-But Mr.. Cute they're artificial.
He-Ah, yes; but you'd never know it.-BOstOn
Budget
CHlcAGo DAME-If your life is so miserable
why don't you get divorce?
New York Dame-Divorce! Horrorsl We
were married in Westminster Abbey and the
Prince of Wales sat in the royal pew-OadJta
World.
SAN" said one little urchin to another. the
other day, ''Sam, does your schoolmaster ever
give you any rewards of merit?'
II s'pose he does" was the reioinder; ''he
gives me "a lickin' every day. ami says | merits
two. BOSTON Journal Of Commerce.
TElcuER-So You can't do a simple sum IN
arithmetic: Now let me explain it to you. Sup
pose eight of you have together forty eight ap;
pies, thirty two peaches. and sixteen melons,
what would each of you getf
Cholera morbus," replied Johnny. -Rdre
BITS
DupELY VASDERc1As-AlithB ondclipper. I
WEAKLY believe it ith the mission of woman to
make fools Of nth men.
Miss contemporaries, and you have no idea,
Mr. Nanderclam, how vexed We are to find that
nature has so often forestalled us.-.Hocting
bud.
FIRST YouNG LADY-Fred is getting posi-
lively spo ny; he called me flower just before
/ came upstairs
been sitting against the wall tor long time
but it wasn't nice for him TO allude to it
Providence Journal
"A1LAN." said Mrs Adair, family IF l die
you won't marry AGAIN, wi you:"
Never" said Allan, firmly, like a man who
meant 1t, never"
'Oh, well, then" said Mrs. Adair in CON
valescent tones, there is no use of my dying
just yet" And with great peryerSity She got
well.-BRrdette.
AN Austin mother was very much discour-
aged at the dirty condition of her boys can
Musu the children came home from walk
"How did you come to get your hat S dirty"
angrily asked the mother.
~ boy pulei il off my head in the street and
threw it in the mud"
That's not SO, ma; he threw the cap in the
mud himself, interrupted his little sister
well. am a boy amt |: If l am girl, I'd
like to know it.'-Terds SUftings.