Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1888-02-24
Observation-Disclosures -New Hoyen

1-z'A IN
-1N-AGE-chestnuts .-New Hopeo
NeWs.
SEEMING a settlemcnt-the tramp Of
the far West. -NeoU HoUe11 Ne1cs,
The man is hard to please who does
not enjoy good health. - Boston
Courier.
IT is absurd to say that hair-die does
not deceive anybody. 1t deceives the
man who uses it.-Puch.
SOLOMON, when arrayed in all his
glory. never wore pink cross-bar shirt
and white collar.-Puch.
NOBODY ever notices an earthquake
on the Jersey flats, so long as it keeps
anything like time with the local ague.
PUCK.
SOMETIMES there may be found a
trace of sugar on tly's foot, but as
rule there is not much to be caught on
the fy.-Ne,c Orleans Picayatne.
GEORGE w. CH1LDs has clock that
cost 5000. On lodge nights the hands
stop at 1O:45-while the tick keeps
right on ticking-Mi,a1aeapolis TriJ.
2l1ee
ARDENT Observation-Disclosures day
without kill, Mr.. Brown. Brown
(gallantly)-Oh, no! That can never
be the case when you are out, Miss
Ethel Fam.
MAMMA-Its very late, Emily. Has
anybody taken you down to supper?
Fair Debutante (who has fine healthy
appetite)-Oh, yes, mamma-several
people !-Lonaoaa Punch.
FOREMAN Ito country editor)-Do
you want Rev. Mr.. Goodman's sermon,
"Feed My Lambs" to go on the ed-
torial page? Editor (absent-mindedly)
No. Run it in the agricultural de.
partment.
A CATS eyes are said to be largest
at midnight. We never made an ez.
animation, but we are positive that its
voice is about seventeen times larger
at that hour than at any other period
during the twenty-four.
HUsBAND-Can anything be worse,
my dear, than for a husband to think
other women prettier than his wife?
Wife-Yes, John, love. It is for hus-
band to think his wife prettier than
other women and not constantly remind
her of the fact.
"THE other night somebody came in
my room," said little girl, "and said
Boo! I said, Who's that q and Mabel
said, Maybe it's Cod But know it
wasn't God" allow do you know"
"Why, cause I knew it wasn't. God
would knock at the door,"
LITTLE brother (whose sister is play.
ing cards with a gentleman - Mr..
Smiller, does Minnie play cards we'll?
MIR. Smiller-Yes, very we'll, indeed
Little brother-Then you better look
out, mamma said if she played her
cards we'll she would catch you.
Chow TO arrest fire." is the title Of
an article before u.s. We haven't time
to read it, because it is too long, but it
seems to us that the proper way would
be to go before magistrate. swear out
a warrant and place the same in the
hands of sheriff, telling him to do
his duty, painful as it may be. But
some folks are extremely ignorant con-
corning the simplest forms of law
Teros SVtings.
JONES has wife who makes life
such a burden to him that he could
scarcely endure tiff it were not for
bright little boy in the family. Re-
Gently. after the usual scolding, the
child crept up to the father and slipped
its hand into his. papa, he whispered,
softly, ''is God happy" "Yes, my
child, infinitely happy" "Coa amt
married, is he, papa?" and the father
was so overcome he could not answer.
IL a Kentucky town. Stranger TO
native) -Iour people seem to be de.
pressed. eyes, VIC have suffered an
awful calamity" Financial crash"
"No, worse than that. Buck Spillers
is dead" "Your Mayor, Z suppose"
ooh, no; he kept the Dew Drop sa.
loon" "Must have been prominent
man" "No, not particularly. aIhen
why should his death cause such gen.
eral sadness?" "Why,. YOU see, lis
wife has. decided to keep the saloon
closed until after the funeral DR.
Ea1lSdlr 11aUeler.
UN?"R THE CtTlL-SERV!CIc RULES
What is this. waiter ?'' asked the
fearful guest, tasting: his breakfast with
an adr OF curiosity: some preparation
OF ohicken?''
No, sir, 'said the waiter, surprised,
"that is fish"