The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-09-13
WISE Am nrHERMIsE

Purchaser Have you Hawthorn s
Moses from an Old Mause?" Attend.
ant-"pm sorry, madam, but we don't
keep botanical works"
He-"What kind of goods is that
dress made of, Laura? She -"Camels
hair" He-"Of course; now that you
turn around see the hump"
Economy and strength are peculiar to
Hoods Sarsaparilla, the only medicine
of which 400 Doses One Dollar lis true,
"Did you kill him first mammal"
asked awe stricken little Freddie. after
the waiter announced Tor dessert "app'e-
pie, plum-puddlng and baked Indian"
Here, waiter! what kind of pie do
you call this?" Apple pie, cir" But
there is nothing in it," but pardon.
sir, hut we use eyaporated apples in ell
our pies
w, b. Lynch, NJ. D., of Auburn, NY
SAYS that he has used Wister's Balsam
of Wild Cherry in his family for coughs
and pulmonary complaints, has recon-
mended it to others with invariably
happy results, and est"ems il valuable
remedy.
Wife-"You left me without cent
this morning. John, and the result is
there is nothing but potatoes and bread
and butter for dinner" Husband
I(oheerfully)-"Oh, well, it's all right,
my dear; had big lunch to day al
noon"
"Where is the island of Cuba stu
a;ed?' asked a school teacher of small
rather fredericksburg boy. Il dunno
sir" Don't you know where your su
gar comes frum?' Eyes, sir, we Dor
rows 1t from our next door neighbor,"
ShIIOh's Catarrh Remedy.
ShiIoh's Catarrh Remedy, marvellous
cure for Catarrh, diphtheria, canke
mouth, and headache. With each bot.
tie there is an ingenious nasal injecto
for the more successful treatment o
these complaints without extra charge
Price so cents. Sold by ], T. Shurtleff
Bennington.
mo. Bobby" said his mother; ION
piece of cake is quite enough for you!
tits funny responded Bobby, with al
injured sir. You say that you ar
anxious that | should learn to eat prop
erly, and yet you won't give me chanc
to practice!'
FOUND DEAD.
Last evening person giving the nam
of G., Il, Thompson registered at Hunt
Hotel, and desired to be called in season
to take the 10 p. NJ. train for Chicago
Being unable to awaken him, the room
was entered by means Of the ventilato
over the door, when the gentleman wa
found to be dead. He was advertising
tagent for Sulphur Bltters, which has al
extensive sale. The coroner returned
verdict of death from heart disease
His body will be sent east Immediately
-ICin. Commercial,
A teacher, instilling in the minds q
her class some elementary United State
history asked Can any of you tell m
what made George Washington famou
and espected-what he did thai he
honOred for?" A moments silence
broken by the exclamation of brigh
boy 10 the class: He made pies" Per
haps everybody hasn't heard of Wash
ington pies" but that boy knew q
about them.
A very distinguished preacher Of tn
Episcopal church found himself strande
in little town way down in the back
woods of Maine last summer, and had {
put up at farmhouse, where he wa
Hospitality entertained. "Do you hsv
many Episcopalians down here?" he il
CURED of His hostess. well reall
now, don't know" she answered, lou
hired man shot some kind of quee
cri,ter down back of the barn, the othe
day. but he allowed it was wood
chuck"
HAY FEVER.