Workmen's advocate., 1888-11-17
THE PRESS" PARROT
Presented with a Few Socialistic Nuts to
 Crack.


 The New York Eress, organ of the c. o. P. and protection to somebody, has had so much amusement during the last political campaign with what it has labeled the "Bowery Parrot that it has while the Bowery bird could only artic- ulate "the tariff is tax" they have suc ceeded in imparting to their own parrot more extensive education, for he is able to say, socialism is dangerous and unSCientitic." To be sure, it sometimes takes him an entire week or longer to get it out, but then he is only learning, and will soon be able to repeat 1t daily, for if he should fail his neck will be wrung, and that is a great incentive to parrots, especially those of the genus homo. Inasmuch as the Press has been so lavish with its stock of scientific ques- tions propounded to the poor free. trade considerably, we presume it will not take umbrage if we, poor deluded social ists, should ask its parrot few ques tiOns:
 Question 1.-To whom and to what is socialism dangerous? And in order that our plumed critic may not become fa- tigued we are willing to confess that so- cialism is dangerous to special privilege, to individuals as opposed to the general welfare, to private monopoly of land and dN the means of production, to the cor ruption of the judiciary and legislative bodies of this nation, arising out of the aforesaid monopoly, to the prostration of the intellect of this country at the feet of mann non, as witnessed every day in the newspaper press and every week and month in magazines and jour nals, to the slaughter in cold blood of tens of thousands of working people, men and women and especially chil- dren, in order that few may commit suicide through excessive luxury and debauchery; in fact, we confess that so- cialism is dangerous to the wage slave system, with all its monstrosities.
 Now, friend parrot, be just and gener ous enough to show the people what other conditions socialism is dangerous to.
 Question 2.-The representatives of the United States of America, in Con- gress assembled, July 4th, 1176, made certain Declaration of Independence, in which is embodied the following words: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal (not in size, friend parrot), and that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happi- ness" We volunteer this information for fear your masters will neglect to mention it before July 4th, 1889. Now, we would ask of you to explain scienti- tiCally wherein socialism is dangerous to this assertion, made by the dangerous men of their day?
 Question 3. What amount or degree of science is embraced in a system of pro duCtion in which the harder the work CTS toll the sooner they may eH, .9ct to tramp; in which granaries ana store houses are ofttimes overtlowing with the necessities and luxuries of life, while those who have produced them go hum gry, naked and homeless. while willing and able to work; where the ballot goes down as the money barrel and whiskey keg comes up; where the will of the lobby is law, and the will of the people is nd; where loafers live in palaces and workers in hoy els; where rents go up as wages come down; where the more the rent the smaller the room; where labor