Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1888-09-26

Inv" YIN oon
Low SPIRITED FOR CAUsE.-Eisen-
stein-I vos in hard luck to-day, Guggen-
heimer.
Guggenheimer-How vos dot
Eisenstein-I got mo a letter dellin' me
dot mine cousin vos dead und had left me
twenty t'ousand tollar. ,.
Guggenheimer-You call dot hard luck?
Eisenstein-Dey scharge me extra post
age on dot letter. I was out zwel cents.
A REMARKABLY SUCCESSFUL MAN
''The success of young Oldboy is almost
Incredible"
"Why?"
"He went into a bank a few months ago
as q collector and has already been promo
ted to the position of cashier"
tsNothing remarkable about that. He
writes such q horrible signature that he
can't read it himself. "-lLincoln Journal
A GREAT FAvoR.-Dumley--I say,
Brown, as a great favor, would you MIND
for thirty days?
Brown (dubiously)-Why, I s'pose so,
Dpmley. Where will you make the tote
payable ? 70
bumley-Anywhere you like, old man
that's your business, not mine.-lNew
York Sun.
SUCH Is HUMAN NATURE.-There are
too many students who comply with the
rules Of q school simply in form, but not
in heart. They are like the little girl
when her brother struck her. Her mother
told her to kiss her little brother and heap
Goals of fire upon his head. The little girl
ran up and kissed her brother, and then
eo;1. tkXIJlora 20 Tho ohnyo1 n0WS WhQrQ
is the shovel archaeological Journal.
TAKING THE SAFE SIDE.-Magistrate-
Are you guilty or not guilty, Uncle Ras-
tus?
Uncle Rastus-I specs I won't declar'
myself, yo' honah. Yo' see, sab, if 1
should say I was guilty, an de gemmen
OBJ de jury fin me not guilty, den dey
could sem me up TO- pieurisy or some sech
crime in law. So I prefers to remain
quiet, but non-committal.- THE Epoch.
@-"What time did young Sampson
leave last night, Clara?" asked her papa.
"It was after midnight" replied the
girl, with a naughty sneer. 1--WE had a
quarrel, and 1 babe him good:by forever"
"If you quarreled, 1 wonder he didn't
leave earlier"
"Wedidn't begin quarreling until nearly
10 o'clock. "-[New York Sun.
HABIr.-A photographer in a western
county was elected sheriff last fall. He
had his first hanging two weeks ago, n
lust as the drop was about to fall he uncon-
sciously took out his watch, glanced at the
condemned man and softly said: "Now,
look pleasant, please. "-[Norristown Her
aid.
How HE Cor THERE.-Friend Ito den
tist)-Now that you've got the custom
House job you were after 1 s'pose you'll
give.up pulling teeth?
Dentist-Yes, indeed.
elbow did you manage to get that job,
Charley?"
81 had a strong pull. "-[Texas Siftings.
A
lawyer brother of yours, Brown, l s'pose,
would defend about as mean and disrepu-
table q case as any lawyer in town?
Brown-Well, I dunno what Jim might
do. You go and state your case to him,
Dumley, and say I sent YOUTH. Y. Sun.
Observation-Disclosures coat is too
long, the waistcoat is too long, in fact, the
whole suit is too long.
Tailor-I am very sorry, sir; but l al
ways supposed gentlemen of your pro-
fession preferred long suits.-Harper's
Bazaar.
ONE WAY OUT OF IT.-Her Parent
Do you think, Mr.. Filikins, that you can
support my daughter in the style in which
she is accustomed |?
Bright Young Mani think I could if
you would let US board with you.
BEYOND HIS WITs.-Man is awfully
smart in some things, but nobody has yet
discovered one that could jam a hat pin
clear through his head and make it come