Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1888-11-21
THE CANDIDATE AT HOME.
A Realistic Picture OF the Trials and Trit
ulations of Our Great Men.

The CANDIDATE AT HOME.
A Realistic Picture OF the Trials and TrIb-
ulations of Our Great Men.
Eyes, my dear" remarked the can
didate to his wife, as with weary sigh
he removed the wrappers from large
yellow silk pin-cushiOn with his initials
on it. and sent the girl down stairs with
1882 for the expressman; Eyes, fully
appreciate the honor that some Of the
people of this great and effervescing
Republic have done me in nominating
me for so high an office; but could
wish that they would be somewhat less
impetuous, as it were, in their method
of expressing their esteem and admir-
alton"
He here stopped to replace the cover
on the box containing the twenty-year-
old rattlesnake that had been sent him
by a constituent in Wyoming. an act
which he performed just in time to
prevent the playful reptile from me-
andering out and making a light lunch
of the baby. This done, he resumed.
sadly:
1T must, OF course. be highly graft
flying to any properly constructed can
didate to have an enthusiastic people
pouring a perfect avalanche, If l may
be permitted the expression, of canes,
cigar-cases, underwear, beasts of as
sorted sizes and colors, and other USE
full articles upon him; he can not but
feel proud to think that his house is
the objective point of every express
wagon in town, and that people all over
this great and glorious land are sitting
up nights and neglecting their business
to make rare and curious articles OF
Uertu for him. But in time even this
becomes monotonous. and
Here the girl came in to say that an
other consignment of yellow dogs had
arrived, and that the expressman
wanted eight dollars more. With a
sigh the candidate produced the money,
and ordered that the dogs be put down
cellar and made as comfortable as pos
sible.
Il do not mind dogs so MUCH" he
remarked, ''but snakes and prairie
wolves seem to me in bad taste, and l
earnestly deprecate@"
There's a man downstairs" inter-
rupted the girl, re-entering the room,
and falling over the twenty-pound
brindle cat, which a lady in Michigan
had sent with her regards and an ex-
press bill for twelve dollars, "and he
says that he has just named his two
hours old baby after you. and thought
he would come round and let you
know, so that you would not feel
anxious about it.
This is getting played out" howled
the candidates: I've got no more
money to invest in that way, and that
settles it. Give him a spoon out of the
holder, with my regards, and tell him
I'll call round and kiss the baby as
soon as get time"
SAY remarked his wife with ami
nation: this paper says that a man
named Wellington Hanks. in Keokuk,
is making a hair-brush for you to be
composed of 1867 distinct pieces of
wood"
1TSdb bllO
date: 'Who said wanted hair-brush?
The idea of sending a hair-brush to a
man without hair on his head! ]
won't have it"
just then the girl entered, and said
that a mule of rare beauty had arrived
from Arizona, and was waiting his or
ders and sixteen dollars.
slaughter the beast" cried the can
didate wildly, land tell the express
man to go to! Am to have no time to
think about the tariff and things, and
no money to buy food with? ! can't
even get q chance to write my inaugu-
raj address; and the first thing you
know it II be the fourth of March, and
I'll have to stand up there before per-
spring multitude and speak a piece
out of the Amateur Orator. won't"
He was interrupted by the entrance
of boy with an express package. upon
which were inscribed the words "All
charges prepaid" As his eyes fell upon
the inscription, he uttered wild shrek
and fell to the floor unconscious. For
a few moments his woes were forgot
TONI. 4. StedraS, ia P',~6