The Portland daily press., 1888-01-13
EMBARRASSING somNAM8ULIsM
san Francisco Bachelor Finds His
Apartment Occupied by Sleep
Walker.

There can be no doubt that the people who
walk in their sleep are not desirable guests to
have in boarding house. They are liable
to create strange confusions and disagreeable
dilemmas. Up on Suffer street is large do
nestle hotel, where families and single poo
pie are accommodated with all the comforts
of home Under these circumstances it is
generally full of people. Young married
people are especially glad to find in such an
esta blishment the convenience of private life
without the trouble and worry of housekeep-
ing, and bald-headed, middle-aged gentlemen
who, in their haste to accumulate fortunes,
ave put off marrying until it is too late to
wed, gravitate to such places as inevitably
as the needle turns to the north. The house
in question was full of such people. But
particularly noticeable among them were a
blushing young bride whose beauty and grace
was the theme OF every tongue, and stout
red-faced dealer in old iron, whose sleek
and shining appearance was only equalled by
the smooth and l0lished surface OF his hair
less head. Indeed, it was a generally ac-
cepted rumor about the house that his slick
and glstening Uranium was the result OF In
cessant polishing with red bandana hand
kerchief, which, for time out OF mind, had
been regarded as leading feature OF his
toilet. To say that this gentleman was mod
est would only partially convey an idea Oh
his remarkable 'backwardness in coming
forward" in the presence OF ladies'. The
glances Of feminine eyes would deepen the
carmine hue of his countenance until the
blood seemed ready to burst from his veins
And word addressed to him in the liquid
accents which only feminine voices can as
sumo would cause every nerve OF his body to
thrill with embarrassment
Imagine the CONSERVATION OF this gentle
man when on returning from his late cup
one night he found his apartment occupied
by lady. The discovery was not made I'M
iii he had partially disrObed. Coming into
the room, the moon shining brightly through
the window, he began to throw off his clothes
without lighting the gas. When his coat,
nightcap drawn comfortably over his head,
his suspenders dangling gracefully from his
waistband to his heels, and when in the act
of drawing off his trousers, he was inter-
rupted by gentle voice from the bed inquir-
ing; "a,
The horror of the situation rose wildly be-
fore his eyes. twas as if a lightning shock
had transfixed him. His feet seemed glued
to the floor. If he had had any hair on his
head it would have risen on end. But the
blood, which in the moment OF his over
whelming establishment had receded to his
heart, now rushed furiousy through his
veins and seemed TO concentrate in globe OF
burning req III tne neau, from WHICH Tie us
hevelled nightcap had fallen.
Are you coming to bed, dear?" came
again the same gentle voice.
This was too much. With bound like a
panther the gentleman leaped to the sofa,
and wheeling it from the corner sprang be-
hind it.
The moon pouring flood of light through
the window seemed to have concentrated all
its rays on that particular corner. 1t was lit
up with the brightness OF day. The lady
saw the crouching figure, and noted the obese
and ungainly form. 1t was not her husband.
Visions of robbers, murderers, and thieves
passed through her mind with the rapidity Of
lightning. With bound as If appraised by a
galyanic shock, she sat up in bed. Then
with a shrek as if all the steam calliopes in
the country had been combined in one fear
full diapason, she gave voice to her alarm.
The noise Of that awful shrek drove out Of
the mans heart his first alarm, and replaced
1t with another fright still more intense.
'For heavens sake, woman, be silcnt!' he
cried from his crouching place in the corner
The lady only shrieked the louder. From
fright the man vas rapidly passing into a
condition of distracted courage.
BE quiet, tell you'll
"Oh, sir, for PHYS sake don't kill mel'
xiii you. indeed Confound it, I'm not
going to hurt you. But get out of hereI'
This confirmed her worst apprehensions.
A burglar had invaded her room. She would
have fled, but the door was locked, and her
attire was not fitted for apromenade through
the halls
But she could yell, and she did. A success
sion Of screams filled the room that would
have wakened the dead. They reused the
house, and the halls rapidly filed with fright
ened people. Among them came the hus-
band of the rosy bride. He had come home
late, and not finding his spouse asleep, as he
expected to, concluded she WIS visiting some
lady friends, and quietly tumbled himself
into bed and went to Sleep The screams Of
the alarmed lady had even penetrated his
dormant senses, and he came rushing out
with the rest.
"Oh, heavens, save me-" again came the
alarmed entreaty from the bachelors room.
That's my wife's voice, he shouted, and
his strong shoulders carried the door from
its hinges The sight that met the startled
group of people crowding into the room was
so ludicrous and absurd that in spite of
sympathy for the terror-stricken lady they
gave way to uncomfortable laughter. The
frightened bachelor had wedged himself be-
tween the wall and the sofa until he looked
as fiat as pancake. Occasionally he glanced
furtively over the back of it, and then sunk
with a groan. The lady was too busy scream
ing to think of anything else until her hus-
bands indignant inquiry, What the mis-
some degree to her senses.
oh, Charley, there's burglar in the
roomv
"Im not burglar!" cried smothered
voice from behind the sofa. This is my
room, and came home tonight and found a
woman in it,"
These historical explanations tended in no
degree to allay the amusement of the board
er2 But finally an understanding was
reached. The lady was sleep walker, and
in this condition had wandered into the room
and gone to bed