News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1888-04-26

t. hapS, as I'm only an ART sLuuent, you
, might consent to make little reduc
tion."
'sYoung man." said the physician in
an indignant tone, ''dO not trl1e. The
. paltry honorarium I exactis but to cover
the cost of the balsamio drugs used in
! the treatment of such cases; they have
been procured from the deserts of Cen
!, trail Asia, after the expenditure of much
time, blood and treasure, but be assured,
Young man, that the tri1e wrung from
your parsimonious clutch will be i'm
mediately distributed by me to, the
deserving poor"
"And you won't take any less?' said
MacTaggart, as he stretched out his re-
luctnnt hand and deposited five guineas
upon the physicians table. els the pro-
cess very painful, doctorf" he said.
"There are two means of achieving
the object" said the physician, who took
no notice of the fee. ''fhe one is pure
Iy mechanical; it is gradual extension
considerable physical pain has naturally
TO be endured The othesg purse, which
is equally efficaciotis antf-5T-rAtibe painless,
is by means of medicated bath, but no
more than four inches increase in height
can be obtained"
'I shall be perfectly satisfied, doctor,
with four inches"
Every good, young man, very good
You know your own business best. Re-
tire behind that screen, divest yourself
of your apparel; in a few moments all
will be prepared. SO powerful are the
effects of the drugs, your clothing, were
it exposed to the potent vapors, would
be utterly destroyed. Strip, young
man" said the doctor emphatically, and
he pointed to the screen.
Mr.. MacTaggart retired behind the
screen, and did as he was bid. and the
venerable benefactor of the human race
disappeared into the bathroom. The
first thing that Dacre did was to empty
his bottle of turpentine into the bath,
and then he turned on the hot water till
| the bath was nearly full.
care you prepared, young man? ?" he
cried in loud voice, as he re-entered
the reception room.
"Tm quite ready, sir, said Mr.. Mac
Taggart, from behind the screen. "I
can smell the potent odors of the drugs,
even here"
"Don't tride, boy" cried the Ameri-
can physician; "take your watch with
YOU, and proceed to the bath You will
! find it very hot, and the odOr of the East
ern balsams is pungent; but do not let
! that deter you: enter it as speedily as
possible, for the hotter the bath the
more rapid is the osseous change. Re
main extended in that bath and perfect
ly still, and every five minutes by your
watch, and not more frequently on any
account, let your head disappear be-
meath the balsamic film with which the
surface of the water is covered. Do not
speak, and breathe only through your
nose. will warn you when the process
is complete"
Mr.. MacTG .sart entered the bath
room, with watch in hand. The odor of
the Oriental balsams made him sneeze
violently, the water was evidently very
hot, and was covered by a thick oleagin-
ous film. But Mr.. MacTaggart had
paid his five guineas, and he was deter
mined to have his moneys worth. After
a little time he entered the bath.
Every five minutes his head disap
peared beneath the steaming, oily sur
face.
In the meauiime7 tfgsfi Dncre was not
ldle; He rang the bell; Pippa and her
mother appeared; the one carried lit
tie charcoal braZier and a fat-irOn, the
other very small work-bag and big
pair of scissors. They laughed immod-
erately as they set to work upon the
clothes of the young Scotchman. Three
inches were cut off from the trousers
legs, the sleeves of the coat and of the
shirt; Pippa's mother worked with will
with her needles to refashion the extrem-
tiles of the garments, and as she finish
ed each, Pippa herself carefully pressed
the newly made seems with the hot fiat
iron. Then the physician dismissed his
two assistants, flung open the bathroom
door and addressed the bather.
Come forth, young man." he said.
''You entered that bath miserable and
puny specimen of humanity; you will
leave it in all human probability, q we'll
grown youth, OF prepossessing appear
ance"
Mr.. MacTaggart did rs he was bid.
He dried himself to the best of his
ability, but the balmy odors of the bal
sans of the East still clung to his hair. No
sooner was he dressed and had emerged
from behind the screen than the mock
doctor addressed him.
''Young man., said he, and his voice
emotion, "behold the result of the Won
drous hath of Bokhara. There is con-
siderable change, I think" he said
solemnly.
Mr.. MacTaggart had evidently grown
out of his clothes; his arms and legs pro-
truded in portentous manner.
"Don't thank me-" continued the
American physician hurriedly; don't
thank me, but hasten home to bed to
sleep of the effects of my potent medica-
ments.
Mr.. MacTaggart bowed as gracefully
as he could, and left the premises.
The very first person he met in the
street was his acquaintance, Orlando P.
Jones. MacTaggnFt's appearance was
sufficiently striking. His ordinary
straight red hair was curly and extreme
ly odorifeIous from the effects of the
His face and hands were
the color of n boiled lobster, and his eyes
were bloodshot from the same cause.
Goodness me-" said Jones, 81
shouldn't have known you. What have
you being doing to yourself ?"
"Don't k me- said MacTaggart; |
''my happiness is toe great for words"
and his scarlet face vas illuminated by |
q smile of celestial heatitude.
Before he reached his own house he |
had at least met twenty Of his acquaint-
ances. Each one interviewed him with /
q similar result
But the cup of happiness was rude1y
dashed from his lips when his extremely |
plain and elderly sister, Miss Flora
Mac cTaggart, on her arrival, addressed
him in these indignant words:
''Eh Donald, man, is it fou ye are!
or simply fatuous2 that We have been
making a Merry Andrew of yerself by
cutting doanger claithes:"
In vain the brother explained his visit !
TO the doctor.
Then the secret came out, and Mr.. |
and his sister left Naples !
for Rome within the twenty four hours. /
-Betgraoia.
Valued at High Figure.