The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1888-01-18
Pith and Point.

longer acceptable to the consumer of fresh
pork.
Don't go and become a glutton, now,
simply because this year is ate-een hundred
and ate he ate.-PutSburgh Chronicle Tele-
graph.
NOTHING worth calling good can, or ever
will be, started full-grown," says Mac
Donald. 1t may be so, hut how about a
sneeze?-Journdl Of Education.
DURING recent storm at the mouth of
the Columbia river in Oregon the waves
dashed over the top of the lighthouse, one
hundred ninety feet above the sea level
and extingushed the light.
MINISTER $50 you 90 to school, do you
Bobby" Bobby: Eyes, sir" Minister
Let me hear you spell kitten" Bobby
I'm getting too big boy to spell kitten ;
try me on cat. "-New York sun.
COUNTRY minister to deacon): deacon,
you have the reputation of knowing some
thing about horses. I've got an animal
that's balky. What do you do in such
case?" Deacon: &C. sell him. '-Erchdnge.
FIRST tramp: al hear that some of thin
Chinese bastes in Mott street are wearing
diamonds" Second tramp: "Yis, bad cess
to 'eml Before they come here my wife was
able to support me takin' in washin'. - It'd
Bits.
A YOUNG lady, visiting for the first time
in the country, was alarmed at the approach
of n cow. She was too frightened TO run,
and shaking her parasol at the animal, she
said, in very stern tone: " Lie down, sir
lie down."
PETRIFIED sandwich was dug up near
Swan Creek, ILL.,, the other day. They put
1t with the other collection at the railroad
station, and the purchaser said it was the
tenderest sandwich he had ever bought at
that place.-JUdge.
THE heirs of a man at Ogdensburg, n. Y,
searched his house again and again for
money, but found none. One day an heir
got mad and kicked over an old chair, and
a bag containing 800 fell from the cushion.
1t pays to kick sometimes.
SAYS an Indiana paper: " For burglar
meeting in the heading of an article in our
last issue relating to the proceedings of the
town council, read regular meeting. We
are sorry the mistake occurred and guess
the councilmen are sorry, too"
A BROAD hint for people who don't adver-
tise " was never exactly buried alive"
said an old clerk, recounting his experiences,
but once worked week in store that
did not advertise. When | came out my
head was almost as white as you now see it.
Solitary confinement did it,"
AN Englishman finding his horse could not
see anything at certain reasonable dis
lance concluded the animal must be short
sighted. An examination of the eyes
proved that glasses were needed. A pair of
eyes of the horse with the most satisfactory
results.
1T was lately said of self-sufficient re-
former in words that many persons might
well lay to heart:
A6d so every EVERY day Lay he gave the Aamgh
And his wife took in sewing
- To keep things agOing
While he superintendent the earth.
The Churchmdn.
JrTTr II TKE Scuouprpc HAVING fa1len and
raised lump on his forehead somebody
suggested to his mother that she press a sill
yer dollar on the bruised place, which would
cause the swelling to subside. "Repecca,"
said Nose Schomburg, lyon don't need
whole tollar. Schoost press a haluf tollar
dot bump on. Vat for you want to indulge
in so many extravagances?"-Tera SUtingS.
THE year just past has taught the leading
journals the necessity of maintaining remu-
nerative prices. The Herald set the example
of returning to its former rates, and the
other leading dailies will soon follow 1t
has also demonstrated the futility of using
the cheap, rude cuts which for awhile were
so frequent. and one paper that took the
lead in this specially has TO a large degree
discontinued it-New York Letter.
Now comes the remarkable story from
Mexico that monkey was brought into
court on complaint made by the family of
man who had been bitten by the aforesaid
the bite. The monkey was defended by
lawyer, but the judge sentenced the monkey
10 be shot The sentence was committed to
imprisonment for life, and Jocko is now a
prisoner in the cage in the dime museum
where he perpetrated the act.
"THE doubtful states" read Rolo from
the newspaper, and looking up he asked :
What is a doubtful state, papa" "Your
Uncle George was in one when he came
home this morning." said mild voice from
the further corner of the sitting-room, where
Rollo's Uncle Georges sister was sitting
" How doubtful" asked Rolo. $50 doubt
ful that he hung his shoes on the hat-rack
and piled his coat and vest neatly under the
bed and went to sleep in the bath-tub with
his trousers on" replied his Uncle Georges
sister.
AT the iron works on Breaker Island be-
low Troy, n. Y, the bottom of one of the
large furnaces gave out and thirty tons of
molten iron escaped. Instead of run
ming into the "pigs" prepared for it, it ran
into the ground, and, striking moist spot,
steam was generated and terrific explo-
sion followed, tearing up the ground for
yards around and hurting quantities OF the
liquid fire about, to the imminent peril of
the employees. The iron now lies in solid
mass deep in the earth and is being broken
up with giant powder.
AT the village of Tolox, near Malaga a
peculiar sect has been disturbed by the in
reference of the authorities. The chief
tenet of the believers is that every kind of
covering of the body is displeasing to God.
Why, if the Creator had wanted man to be
covered, he would no doubt have supplied
him with fur, or a coat of feathers, or
scales, they say. Man has no right to i'm
prove upon Gods management of creation,
and, therefore, both he and she should
adopt the dress worn by Adam and Eve pre-
vous to the fall and the adoption of the fig
leaf.-Letter from Spain.
FOLLOWING is the composition written by
small boy on the cat 1.-THE cat is a curl.
GUS animal; it has four feet and also four
legs Its head is at one end of its body and
its tail is at the other When it walks its
head goes before and its tail follows along
behind. Its front feet walk before and its
hind feet walk along behind. Ii is not good
for a cat to tie a bunch of fire-crackers to its
tail. Cats can climb trees; dogs can't
That is lucky for cats. When dog gets
after them they can climb tree, where
they can sass back without getting hurt
You can't hit cat. Once / threw boo
and hit an old rooster. The old rooster
he died, but the cat didn't"
THE "Great Rock Island Route" hal
adopted fast-time schedule which guar
o Al.