Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1888-06-01

what made the tower of Pisa lssnf''
Because Of the famine In the land %
said a boy who got the tower conf1s-
ed with Joseph's observation-disclosures.
Lie Insurance Agent-'.A Madam. our
company has never failed to pay q
single claim, and when you consider
that One-sixth of our holders die every
year you Madam-''SO many diel
Really can't think of taking a poll
cy; 1 don't think 1t would be sale. -
Harper's Bazaar.
Kosciusko Murphy, who is a book
keeper in a grocery store, met q friend
who clerks in a cigar store on Austin
avenue, and asked him for a cigar.
CANT got any" said his friend
"Ain't got any" said KOsciuskO.
''Why. WhensI used TO work In q cigar
store always had my pockets stuffed
with cigars" Eyes; probably that's
the reason you amt In a cigar store
now" was the crushing reply.
John" she said. softly, "'have you
been saying anything about me to
mOthor lately?" ''No, " replied John;
''why do you ask?'' because she
said this morning that she believed
y CN WCLO O4 JIG GhO u DLODO6A-AE ~
me. Now, do not wish you to speak
to mother when you have anything
Of that kind to say. Speak TO me,
and I'll manage the business with
mother" And John said he would.
There lives in Leominster. on Cen
trail street, rather nervous four
year-Old girl, who could never sleep
unless the room was dimly lighted.
/ One night recently the lamp became
+ eXtlngulshed, and she called loudly
I for her mother, who asked what was
/ the matter. She said between sObs:
1.-THE light is out, and can't see
whether my eyes are open or not"
A Pittsburg editor says: 'Hus-
bands are not made to order" Wen
bet he can't convince most wives they
are WashingtOn Critic.
A Denver man has been arrested for
stealing three boxes Of cigars Of the
value OF eighty-three cents a box. The
defense will be insanity.-Life.
A steward wrote to a bookseller in
London for some books to fit up his
masters library, in the following
terms: 'In the first place 1 want six
feet of theology, the same quantity OF
metaphysics, and near q yard OF old
civil law in folio"
New York daily papers often speak
of ''LOng Island girls" but an investi-
cation shows that girls who live on
islands grow no longer than girls who
don't.
Irate father-''You remember you
wanted to marry that bOokkeeper OF
mine about a year ago." Daughter
eyes, father" ga pretty sort of q man
you picked out. He has decamped
with my whole fortune" ''You remem-
Der. father, that you told him he could
not have me until he got rich, don't
your" ''Of course, the, young 81
have Just received a dispatch from
him at Montreal saying he Is rich now.
but Is perfectly willing to marry q
poor mans daughter"
Little Dot don't like to help wipe
dishes" Omaha mamma-'Why not
pet?' eff learn how to do such things
Just right, Pll grow up into q servant
girl, won't II" ''No, dear. If you
learn how to do anything just right
you'll never be q servant girl"
Don't be impatient 1t will soon be
May-Day, and you can put on your
Arctic overshOses and winter over
coat. tie up your ears, and 60 out in
the wildwood and sit down on the re
mains of a snOwdrift and eat a spring
sand wich. 1t isn't as if there was
nothing to look forward to.
Some one observes that the class o
men who used to blow out theil
) I III
: but it is believed that men who blow
. out the gas have no brains to blow
: out.
''Why do you wall so, George7" in
quired Mrs. Saygood. Because,
3 groaned George, I have run the pOin
E OF a nail into my foot" WELL" sh
said. softly, ''never mind, I have seer
l you run the pint Of an ale into you
/ neck and look up for more withOu
catching your BREATH
! al hear that Gen. Lightfoot is goinI
to run for governor" said the judge
, "Glad he's going to run for some
e thing" said the major, with feeling
= ''he ran from everything all through
8 the wal"
Perfect unison in purpose and desir
: ia a beautiful thing between paren
, and child. To illustrate: s'Then Al
r degitha, you will be mine7'' eyes
4 Ferdinand. If pa is willing. I Away
do what he wants me to-" ''But wi
E he give his CONSENT" ''EIe will" p
? always does what want him to-"
eve have heard a great deal abOu
] the reckless extravaganza Of the ia
2 vest. says THE Chicago Times, ''bu
e We cannot 90 uuitesO far as to belieV