St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-12-23
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SCIENTIFIC BASIS OF MORALs.*
Let me hope he is magnanimous
enough to take this kindly. Thomas de
Quincy, the boss English plose-Writer,
wrote Il magnificent essay OH the glory
of motion: but if he had ever
ridden in the "Black Maria" he would
never have written it. 1t would have
broken him up worse than any opium
could possibly do. have been over the
"herring-pond'' few times, but that's
nothing i'll comparison. For genuine
Gid style Sea-SickneSS. commend me to
your BLACK Maria!" If that isn't pen
atty enough for drunk plain and
fancy, then I'd prefer the cat-o-nlne-
tails or the bastinado.
CHAPTER IV.-THE BASTILE's SHADOW.
After an age OF agony, out doomed
the WOrkus, like terrible Newgate or
Sing-Sing. striking terror into our hearts
and despair into our souls. We
were ushered into a scrupulously
clean reception room by the local
reception committee: no chair. no
bench, no box. not even a pail to sit on.
An excellent meal was brought III, con-
sisting of good soup, well-cooked cab
bage, potatoes, bread. and a quarter of
pound of really well-cut and we'll
cooked beef, and placed on the floor for
our refreShment. This meal puts me
in mind Of the good apples on top III the
barrel, for it was the only good one l
got in the wOrkus. guess Kelly must
have misapprOpriated some official fod-
der. Mr.. Whelan, the deputy Superin-
tendent. then entered with
formal How do?" and escorted us
into the hall, where he proceeded
to weigh and measure us, during which
ifrbi and G.
uriug him. A sturdy, medium-slZed
man, with heavy blondemoustache of
quick. light and graceful action. with
full gray eye, keen and penetrating, but
with plenty of soul in it. SO much for
the external man. My psychometric re-
searches revealed to me a man OF we'll
prOpOrtiOned mind, sensitive and lnf1am-
matOry, but clear, matter ot-fact, just,
and methOdically precise; quick to
kindness as to severity; man
who needs no notebook and never
looks for his hat when it's on his
head. Mr.. Gross, the superintendent, L
had little opportunity OF seeing, but
my cursory reading of him may be
summed up in the country justice de-
scribed in Ignatius D0nnelly's play OF
Hamlet" Good, easy man,
full of wise saws and modern in
Stances" and, If he has not the fair
round belly" it is. can venture to saw,
with good fat capOn lined" After
the weighing and measuring, took my
bath. and was then led to the block (cell
block like poor Mary o Scots. In this
block there are over 100 cells, neat and
clean, with all cOnVenienceS except easy
chairs and slippers.
I'm the morning we were maTShaled
into line and marched into an immense
dining hall, where we sat down to some
mystery" that looked as though it had
already been eaten and panly digeSted:
some equally mysterious fluid of the
coffee order, and some very ancient
staff of life. Signals were given to
commence and retire, and the Strictest
silence was observed during the repast.
Our work consisted of preparing
shucks for stutfing ticks; others
went to work on the farm,
others hauling wood, some painting,
etc. Our dinner consisted of
soup, cabbage (turnipS on alternate
days,) potatoes, bread and a suggestion
of meat. Supper, invariably bread and
nolaSses at discretion. Immediately
after supper we were locked up for the
night. On Sundays we were locked up
all day. There are FIVE guards, very
decent, quiet, respectable men, none of
whom / heard word of complaint
about except one.
CHAPTER V.-COMPANIONS IN MISERY.
The first guard is Joseph Hoy, gen
ial lrishman, whose character may be
gathered from the following ''pOme" by
Billy Virgins, the local laureate:
Oh Jolly Joe Hoy is the broth of bhoy,
He's the type Of Il good-natured Mick;
But he careful. me bhoys, that yez don't
make a noise,
or he'll hit yez welt wild his shtick!
He's always at aise, and he's ready to plaise,
But don't steal march upon Joe;
If you do what is right, you'll be satisfied,
quite,
That there S no better fellow, you knowl
Now, listen, my pards if each one of the
Was but as good -namred bhoy,
Not thing they could ask would be too great
a task
So, here to our jolly Joe Hoy!
There is plentiful supply of reading
matter of really good quality. The
| females department (whOSe sacred pre-
| ciuctS no male foot hath ever TOd, where
| even the dogs are b--) can say
nothing about. that being a terra incog-
| nita; but have caught glimpses of a
| handsome, stately and amiable lady of
| about thirty-iivo who is said to be the
| matrOn. must not forget to mention
Mr.. Gellerup, the night watchman, a
! gentleman of both brains and education,
speaking elegant French and German,
as well as the Scandinavian tongues,
! with whom | had a feast of reason,
which was dOubly dear to me, being, as
| was, in the ranks of the great I'M
| taught.
In conclusion | want to say word to
| the Rev. w. Wilkinson, who has said in
your columns: "One day the judge
| said to Il great drunkard: If you will
| promise me to give up drink entirely, |
viii take your word as a man and let
! Won go The promise was given and
the prisoner liberated. After some
! time he got mad drunk was arraigned
and begged fer another extension of
citmency. The Judge said: We will
try you again. and liberated him a
second time" Now. this gives a fine
| impression of the court; but | could
! quite another tale unfold! | am gen
tieman by birth and education, was in
! town but one hour. Was imperfectly
! gTet, and promised sincerely that if par
| dOned | would never again repeat the
OtlenSe, | was sentenced as aforemen-
toned. The Judge did not "appeal to
the manly side OF my nature, my self
respect, pride, ability for usefulness.
and all that is noble" although | am
well stocked with those virillties. |
leave the comparison between my i'm
preston of the court and Mr.. Wilkin-
sons in the hands Of the reader. Adieu,
ct friez pour lie malheureauX.
The Proper Horse for Santa Claus.
| Puck.
A certain little boy thinks Santa Claus
should do his great annual tour on a gift
| horse.
| CHRISTNi L. NIGH