Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1888-05-25
SHARP In His Business.


the name Of Gurlproat, chat name Is
a fraud. That man is travelling incog.,
and there is something crooked about
him.
why do you think so?" inquired a
reporter, on the trail OF q fugitive
item.
why do think so7 Why. I al
most know tin fact, I do know It
intuitively. It is my business to bo
familiar with names and the derivia-
ton and nationality OF them. Now,
there Is no such name as GurlprOat.
It Is neither English, Irish. Scotch.
German, Swedish, Welsh, French,
Spanish. Italian Russian, Malay,
Greek, Norwegian nor ChOctaW. 1t Is
q machine name, manufactured for
an emergency something ike the char
acters IN Dickens novels-the Veneer
ings, POgsnapss Weggs, DOrrits, Jag
gers, Rickelbys and Chuzzlewits. I
am obliged, you know to be sharp in
my business"
''Are there any other earmarks by
which you know this man to be a
fraud?"
''Well, yes; I have spoken to him on
several occasions, calling him By name
-Gurlproat-and on every occasion
he has appeared to fail to recognize
the name as at all familiar. and have
to repeat it. 1 tell you be is a sly falzir
from FlytOwn. He is a queer and
you can bet high on that"
Nov, there Is a man." continued
the hotel clerk, pointing to another
square tOed specimen Of caliraphy;
that man Jones there, A. Q. Jones,
he's all o. K. There is no sub5erfuge
about him. He comes in and planks
down his gripsack, deposits a roll of
bills in the sale, calls for a stylus, IN
dOrses the register, and there you have
1t fat-foOted. A. Q. Jones, 50, 900 in
his roll in the safe. He is a man who
will do to tie up to. We have to be
good judges OF human nature in this
business, i tell you, and are obliged to
be testOtally and strictly sharp. But
Jones Is solid with this house. He
has been here a week now. and I have
advanced him $3.50 OF 5000 on his
roll
you are sure the roll contains
money, are your inquired the report
er, carelessly.
''Sure! Why, it is an express pack
age, sealed, and the amount marked
on the corner. Guests often leave
them with US Tor security"
II should want to know it was all
right before loaned money on it,"
pursued the reporter.
That's where you would fool your
self. That's where you would insult
guests and drive trade away. But
this sharp clerk spoke this a little IN.
easily-'iust to show you what a
square man Jones Is, I'll send up this
bill" and the clerk proceeded to sound
the loud timbrel which summoned a
bellbOy.
Here, run up to So with this" said
the clerk.
While the bellboy was on his mis-
sion the suspicious GurlprOat came
up to the Office to settle his bill.
That's him-GurlprOat," said the
clerk, forming the words with his
mouth without uttering a sound:
Eight dollars and a quarter-two
days and hall"
"Hey?" said the despised GulprOat.
1.-TWO days and half-eight and q
quarter" answered the clerk Winking
at the reporter.
Eight dollars"
eighth
"And a quarter"
can right; correct" and Mr.. Gull
brOat rendered a $40 bill. The sharp
clerk spent five minutes critically ex-
amlninR and testing the same. While
doing so the suspected guest observed: I
''ltCOlOneliJ ames,G urlproatO Of Mont /
gOmery, Alabama, calls for me please
tell him 1 have gone to Washington"
The hotel clerk looked suddenly up
and his face was like q circus poster
guided by the rays Of sunset.
care you Congressman GurIprOat of
Alabama" he inquired.
"Hay?"
Are you Congressman Gurlproat
Of Alabama?''
''NO, am his brother. am Judge /
GurIprOat, formerly Of the Supreme !
Bench"
He had his change, and in another !
instant the porter was ObsequiOusly /
escOrting him out to a carriage.
why" exclaimed the clerk. otis /
singular I happened to forget that /
GurlprOat family of Montgomery. 1t I
Just beats all. Funny, isn't it, when |
you miss a mans name"
The bell boy returned at this inter- /
esting iuncture of the proceedings with /
the startling information that A. O. /
Jones had skipped, bag and baggage, /
hook, line and sinker, foot, horse and /
dragons. The clerk turned white, /
and his fingers shook ike q splinter
on q rail in the wind as he suddenly
went down into the safe after the ex-
press package. He fshed it up, tore
OF the end and proceeded to shake
Out-a generous wad of newspaper
some Of 1t gems Of poetry,
the balaCne choice extracts from the
humorous papers and medical read
ing notices.
Safety Of Bull ding AssOcia-