The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1888-12-19
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A sickly young lady-Miss-ile.
A German ferment-Sauerkrau
Long winded d-Blacksmiths' bellows.
: A taking fellow-The photographer.
A towering rage-The theatrical high
hat.
A waterfall knows how to do the cat
aract
Coming through the Rye-Brewers'
wealth.
The stockbroker does most of his
work on shares.
The strongest tied in the affairs of
men is marriage.
The lay of the land is what darkness
broods over. er.-Ttme.
Pardoxical: A man always feels put
out when he is taken in.
People think it funny that the gas
collector is never suifocated.
Many a man has been burned in the
last heat at the races.-LUe.
Bills that did not pass Congress are
not necessarily counterfeit. t.--LO,CeH
Coaricr.
The way for a doctor to become well
known is to make his .patients WE'LL
Picdyu7e.
Fathers whose only resources are
daughters should husband their re-
sources. Time.
Another good cure for insomnia is to
have the nurse sleep up in the attic with
the baby.-B0StOn GLIB.
The American hen is very observing
bird, but she doesn't always know when
she is on an ancient lay. Rochester Post
EiPyess.
"Wel, Mary Ann, I've got ther
nomenashun. "Bad cess to We, an
where did yez catch it, DennisP'--MaH
ant ElPr,Ss.
Western Man-'Did you come out to
our country to settle" Eastern Visitor
(testily)-"No; that's what left home
for. - Washington Post.
The clergyman who sad that people
are too apt to make light of tobacco
probably did not include chewing. -
BiAghdmy0H EepuJ ican.
The reason an ofIice-holder Is called
an incumbent is because he is generally
bent on making as big an income as pos
sible Mail and Erbress.
Consider the chickens, my son; study
their ways and be wise. Whenever they
take to drinking, their bills go up; and,
by keeping their bills down, they find
enough to eat.
An Italian chemist has discovered that
the blood of eels injected under the skin
is deadly poison. People who are ad-
dicted TO the baneful habit of taking eel
blood hypodermically should be warned
of their danger. lKOFH.
Enraged Employer-'As you don't
seem to be coming down to-day, Bridget,
I've built the fire myself and prepared
some chocolate for you. Here are the
morning papers; and if you want any
thing more, just touch the annunci-
atorw
"My dear, your mouth is a perfect
poem" "Dh, how can you say such
thing us that" "Well, it is like
popular poem at least 1t is so widely
red. " And the matrimonial mercury
fell forty degrees at once. Terre Haate
EIpr,s'.
\ passenger on train from New
York the other day stepped from the
oyerheated car to the platform and filled
his lungs with the fresh, pure air. "Ah, ~
he exclaimed, 'isn't this eXhilarating"
"No," returned the laconic brakeman,
this is Berlin r'-HrttoM C0uaqt
eyes, madam" said the tramp, a
day be shabby and TIA el-stained now,
but rye been presented at court in my
may" "Prcsented at Courtl You don't
say so Through Minister Ihe ps."
"NO, madam, think O'Brien was tho
v,A1iaap,apf. Nil mil
Cit en- 10 old engineerJ-'I spose in
your long life on the road you have met
with more or less mishaps" Old Engl.
neer er-''Jh, yes lots of 'em." Citizen
"Probably run over dozens of people"
Old Engineer with pdde)--"Do,e ems!
Pye run over hundreds m-Nsto York.
Sun.
Small Boy-"Ma ma we've got to
get away from here, it's dangerous.
They're cam ba.s | was Just helping
Billy tie the cat TO the dogs tail at the
gutter, when Mr. Hawkins came to the
Kitchen door, aud he called out "Wife,
get everything ready as quick as you
cau-well have that fat Mr. John
son for dinner aud his wife and baoy for
supper. '-LJs
lie wanted the earth-was determined 70
shine
He was full to the brim Of emotions divine,
" hich us soon as expressed he was sure
would bring down
Thoearth 70 his feet and obtain him crown.
He wanted the earth To enlighten the age.
At once he determined 20 60 on the stage.
lie wanted the earth, but his form You may
seek
'Mongst the mob where he earns Just SI per
week
-MerchGnt Tragslsr.