Morning journal and courier., 1888-04-09
STRANGE.


 Strange as it may seem, a ton of feathers is heavier than a ton of coal, as every coal dealer and consumer well knews.-Puck.
 Fogg explains the cause of the laehrymose effect of the onion. The secret lies in the skin, which is laid on in tiers.-Bosten Transcript.
 Justice is said to be blind, but the men who are anxious to pose as Chief Justice have their eyes wide open about this tine.- Boston Transcript.
 Bacon probably had his next door neigh bor's piano in his minds eye when he wrote, "Full of.sound and fury ,signifying nothing" Philadelphia Call.
 As an incentive to young ambition it would be interesting to know how many peo- pie of prominence there are in our country who can look back to the time when they used to go to bed while they were having their trowsers fxed.-Oil City Blizzard.
 The orator, speaking of spring, referred to it as the vernal season; but the stenographer didn't hear alright, and got it ''infernal sea- son." But the orator said that perhaps 1t was just as well the people would under stand what he was talking about.-Roston Transcript.
 Unnecessary instruction.-Mrs. Jayhawk- er-ssNeow, Eben, be ear'ful and don't let those New York thieves rob you, but go right straight to MT. Greengoods', du your business and hurry home. Do you heara" MT. Jayhawker-"Yes, Mirandy, that's what mean ter do."-Texas Siftings.
 Jack (te young Callow)-"That old gen. tleman we just passed seemed to knew you, Charley" Young Callow-s'Ya'as, he's my himF' Young Callow-"To tell the truth, old boy, never do on the street. He comes of rawther poor family, y know. w."-Epoch
 Hayseed says he doesn't think much of the city hotel keepers. They have a big room magnifeently fitted up and label it sample room" This raises fellows expectations to the highest notch, but when he is shown to little seven by nine room at the top of the house, he finds that he has been swin- dled It is not bit like the sample.-Bes- ton Transcript.
 "Gentlemsn of the jury" said the judge, as he concluded his charge, eff the evidence shows in your minds that pneumonia, even indirectly, was the cause of the mans death, the prisoner cannot be convicted" An-hour later messenger came from the jury room. ''The gentlemen of the jury, your honor, , he said, ''desire information" 'On what point of evidence2' "None, your honor; they want to know how to spell pneumonia ' -Tid-Bits.
 Omaha dame-"You have lived in the West many years you say" Domestic "Yes, ma'am, I crossed the plains with a family many years ago and was captured by Indians. They was lazy lot Q vagabonds and made me do all the cooking for lem. D 'sDear mel How did you escapef" .'I didn't escape, ma'am, as long as there was one of the tribe alive, but at last there was none left and got away" t'Were they kill ed by the soldicrsi' "No, ma'am. The agency doctor ill whose family I worked af- terward said as how he thought they died of dyspepsia. a."-Omaha World.
 ''Ihere .h ia the sea- said the belle, there's no doubt of it,
 Quite the equal of those which yet have come out Of it.
 But fish won't be captured by merely commanding them,
 And it's very laborieus hooking and landing them."
 Mor auk Ira alar