Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1888-07-31
SMUGGLED GOODS.
TRAVELLERS WHO TRY TO EvADE
THE CUSTOM HOUSE DUTIES

seys-A Womau's Inconsistency Ms.de
Manifest-An Inspector Thrown OF His
Gusrd-Two English Dudes
An inspector of customs who has grown
round shouldered in the business OF recon
noitering for smuggled goods was asked the
other day to relate few OF his experiences
during bis long term of service in the gov
ernment's employ AZ er allowing his mem
ory to drift backward few years be rallied,
and first instanced the case Of lady who re-
sides on Beacon street
.'She is" said he, las rich as Croesus, and
is a shining mark in her philanthropic work.
No one gives more literally to the cause Of
charity No one dispenses with freer hand
means for spreading the Gospel in heathen
lands She bears the reputation Of being a
large hearted full souled Christian lady
Yet she swore falsely, as | believe. to thu
boarding officer She declared she had moth
ing il Der possession of a dutlable nature
There was something about the woman's
factions, however, that awakened suspicion
A careful examination of her trunks appar-
emily verified her statement There re-
manned, however, lingering doubt that she
was trying to deceive. Acting upon this
misgiving she was asked to step into a small
room near by, which is used for the purpose
of examining female passengers whose truth
fulness has been challenged Under her gar
Tnents were found forty -four yards Of fine
black Lyons silk The fabric had been
basted to her petticoat She seemed over
come with embarrassment when the discov
cry was made Her only excuse was the
very thin one that she Was not aware the
silk was dutiable She was not asked why
she concealed it. Is there any gauge by
which the inconsistency displayed by this
woman can be measuredf
About two years ago, while an inspector
was making his rounds among the pasSen
gers, tall, good looking, finely dressed lady
nudged him I'D the ribs and softly whispered,
Can 1 see you privately few moments"
She motaoEed the inspector TO one side, at the
same time Keeping her eyes fxed upon two
plainly dressed women who were standing
together near the companionway Il want to
tell you" began the pretty siren, that the
two women you see over there have made a
false declaration Their stateroon was next
20 NINE and overheard them on several oc-
casions during the trip planning scheme to
conceal from the customs officers a quantity
of valuable goods they have in their posses
sion You VIII do well to make a careful
examination OF their baggage and the clothes
they have on | dislike deception in any
form, and make this disclosure in the interest
of honesty"
The inspector thanked his fair informant,
and promised that he would make thorough
investigation Of the case.
When the two suspected females had re-
ceived their baggage upon the wharf the in
spectcr proceeded to make ! most careful
.x~ct l,a,r k,,tf
of valuables The Inspector thought this was
only blind to throw him off the scent, and
he asked an inspectress to search the persons
of the two women This was done, but not
shadow of anything dutiable was found 1t
now began to dawn upon the mind Of the
inspector that he had been tricked by the
gay eavesdropper, and that she was probably
the one who was trying to defraud the gov
eminent, and not the two ordinary looking
females who had been under suspicion 1t
was neat little game to throw off suspicion,
but will never be worked again on the same
inspector 1t was afterward learned that the
two women were Chicago school teachers,
who had been abroad spending their summer
vacation They felt very much embarrassed
ut the attention they received at the hands
OF the officers, and were at a loss to fathom
its meaning. The poor old pedagogues prob
ably never had dishonest thought enter
their heads.
An amusing incident occurred four OF five
weeks ago on board Cunarder when two
finely dressed ladies declared that they had
nothing In their possession upon which an
impost duty should be levied A few mo-
ments after taking the oath they were seen
in close conspltation, and their actions in
dictated that they had under consideration
matter of Hfomentous Importance. Finally,
Dne of them accosted the customs officer, and
said; 81 guess I've made a mistake in declar~
Ing as / did, as we have several articles in our
trunks which should pay duty" 1t is no I'M
usual occurrence to find these conscience
stricken peopie
A little dumpy kind Of q man attempted to
run in three new listers a short time ago as
part of his own wearing apparel When his
trunk was opened and the garments taken
put, he was asked if he intended to wear the
'toppers" himself.
Certainly do" he replied
II don't think the tailor gave you very
good fit, viii you try one of them onP
They were all made from the pattern of
this one have on" and the little man turned
around twice II don't see the necessity OF
going to the trouble Of finding out whether
the others ct msr
II am sure the tailor must have made
mistake" persisted the Inspector, land |
shall insist upon you giving me some evil
dence that he did not"
The little man tried every way TO satisfy
the inspector that the coats were for his OVID
use, but failing. drew forth one Of the heavy
garments and crawled into it 1t was like
drawing sait bag over q crochet needle
The little man had disappeared The top of
his hat and the toes OF his shoes were all that
could be seen Of him
"Whats the hghtest you'll let me OF forf7
softly asked the little man
The account was made out and be paid
without whimper
Two bowling dudes were found one day
standing over their traps looking about in a
sneering contemptuous manner at the scenes
the new world presented at the landing of sn
ocean steamship. They were the cream Of
swendom When the inspector approached
them and asked TO have their trunks unlocked
they seemed beset with astonishnent
u beg pahdon, but what did you say, sirT
1ueried one Of them
"open your TRUNKS, want to inspect your
baggage"
At this the spokesman Of the two threw q
bunch of keys upon the wharf and said:
"Hopen ths trunks yourself, fellow"
Lift the lids Of those trunks IN hall min
ute or they 60 to the appraiser store, quietly
remarked the inspector.
Gentlemen at ONE don't do this kind OF
work What blavsted customs you ave ere,
be sUrA that 4, a ,-anrI..rT1an DO a