Sharp County record., 1888-09-06
SEASONED CHESTNUTS,
ACKNOWLEDGMENT COnundrums Collected ~
n Lover of the Antique.

wives and axed them afterward.
What was Joan of Arc madoi OF ?
Maid of Orleans. What killed her?
Too much hot stake.
When did Caesar first go to thellrish?
When he crossed the Rhine and1 went
back to bridge it,
The name of what celebratodsScotch-
man does a person mention when the
hired man raps on the doorp John
Knox.
When the boy complains that the
meat is tough and his father.advises
him what to do about it, the name OF
what great writer does he mention?
Chaucer.
When were Napoleon's clothes rag
ged? When he was out at Elbe.
When did George Washington'take a
carriage? When he took hacl1'at tho
cherry tree.
The names of what three writer's
does a man use when he puts'his hand
on a hot stoveP Dickens, Hewitt, Burns.
If the founder of Pennsylvania s
mothers sisters kept pastry shop,
what would they call thc rates at
which they sold their pies? Pirates Of
Penzance,
What is the difference between the
Prince of Wales and bOmb-shell? One
is heir to the throne and the other is
thrown to the air.
The name of what character in his.
tory does a person mention when ask
ing the servant to put coal on the i1ref
Philip the Great
Why is Westminster Abbey like a
fire-placcP 1t containsAthe ashes of the
great.
When is paper money first mentioned
in the Bible? When the dove brought
the grecnback to the ark.
Why was Noah like hungry catP
He went forty days and forty nights
without finding Ararat.
Why was Pharaoh's daughter like a
merchant in Wall street? She found
a little prophet in the rushes on the
bank.
When was theater first mentioned
in the Bible? When Joseph was
thrown from the family circle into the
pit.
Why is a stick Of candy like a race
horsep The more you lick 1t the faster
it goes.
When should we read the book of
naturep When autumn turns the
leaves.
What bridge is warranted to sup
port any strain? The bridge of
fiddle.
Why is the letter like deathP It's
at the end of life.
Why is the vowel the only one
sounded? Because all the others are
inaudiblo
WHY is the happiest Of the vOwels?
Because it is the center of bliss, while
0 is in hell and the rest are in purga-
tory.
Why is the letter k like pigs tail?
Il is at the end Of pork.
Why is the letter like thunder? 1t
makes our cream sour cream.
Why is a tin can tied to dogs tail
like death? It is bound to occur
What is the difference between
dogs tail and a rich man? One keeps
wagging and the other keeps car
riage.
What is the difference between an
apple and a pretty girl? One you
squeeze to get cider, and the other you
get side her to squeeze.
Why is a city official like church
bellp. One steals from the people and
the other pcals from the stceplc.
What is the difference between an
engineer and a schOol-teacher? One
trains the mind and the other minds
the train.
What kin is the door-mat to the doorP
A step father.
What is the board of cducationP The
schoOl-mastcr's Shingle.
What is tho difference between an
old woman and pretty girl? One IS
hairless and cappy and the other is
careless and happy.
Why does sailor know there's
man in the moon? He has been to sea.
Why is q doctor never seasickP He's
used to see sickness.
What is it that will give a cold, cure
cold and pay the doctors bill. A
draught.
Why does an old maid wear mittensP
To keep off the chaps.
Why is a man who makes pens very
wicked? He makes people steel pens
and then says they do write.
What sticketh closer than a brotherF
A postage stamp, by gum.
What is a waist of time? The middle
of an hour-glass.
Why is the north pole like an Illicit
whisky manufactoryP 1t is a secret
Nill.
Why is it easy to get in an old m''n's