The Arizona sentinel., 1888-01-21
THE RIDING LESSON.
A'Splendid Thing for the Liver But Not
 Ouite as Good as a Juicy Steak.


 being tossed about on windy sea, at any other time, you do when you make your debut on the spinal column of a horse.
 You can scarcely realize what the saddle is for, because you sit all over the horse; and if it is proper to be in the saddle, when you ure not on the ground, you feel that either the saddle should be six times as large, or the horse should be supplied with six sad dles No matter if the saddle is strapped on so tight that it makes the horses eyes bulge out and look like painted nest-eggs, it always feels as loose as an old shoe, or the money that you can't tie up.
 You feel that in second you will be away down on one side of the horse, hanging on to his vertebrac with your heel, and you naturally bear your weight in the stirrups to keep your balance.
 You are afraid of being laughed at by your instructor, or you would order some billets of wood to be hammered between the horse and the girth, just as boys put wood under their straps to keep their skates on firmly.
 You are assured that if the girth were frightened, the horse would col lapse with cramps; so you say no more on the subject. -a You know in your heart that the saddle is not going to slip, but at the same time you can't help imagining that it is.
 So you go on wobbling and bobbing from side to side. feeling as though you would like to put your arms about the horses neck for safety. As soon as you stand firmly in the stirrups, you forget to press your knees against the saddle; and when you press your knees against the saddle, your feet fly out of the stirrups, and you feel as awkward as the boy trying to ride the trick mule three times around the circus ring.
 "You will drop into it before you know it" says the teacher.
 This is very soothing, because up to this time you think you will : drop of before you know it.
 The teacher tells you he never had a |. pupil drop off once in all his experience, ]. and .then-shows you a collection of scars under, his hair that branch out in laefaTy direction. Ifbe should lose his tair,H the observer would naturally think that he had eoae in contact with a skating pond, and the spider had lebeen made on his ::head:instead of on l the, ice.>.
 Then he tells you how the stone wall felt when~he7struek it on the fly. But says nothing abenf how he felt himself. The great troubleis,' : that you have about eight pn fen thngs'to remember atonce,; while your whole atte ntion is exhausted in srying te keep off the tan bark. If you remember to sit back when the horse comes to stop, you forget to keep your hands down. You think you can balance yourself better by spreading your arms out like wings. Then if you remember about your hands, you forget to turn your toes in you feel as though you were going to turn them up every minute, to borrow an Occidental figure.
 And then your feet work through the stirrups to the heels, and you can't get them out.
 The horse then gives lurch, and away go your straps; and in about two minutes the bottoms of your trousers are up about your Knees, and other riders can't understand why you are riding in knickerbockers.
 Just as you are doing your best to rise, inresponse to your teachers ''one- two, one-two, one-twor' the horse gets you against the fence, and, in proceed; ing six feet in this way, takes about six inches of skin off you. But this makes no difference ifyou are riding to reduced your flesh.
 You assure your teacher that you never had so much fun in all your lifeI At the same time you take sly look af the clock to see how soon your9.h2ut will be up. You know the horse speed will be incr eased at the end of the lessoni to show you how you are improving. and get you into such father that you will take cold when you go out on the street. As much as you like riding, you always feel a keener admiration for it when you alight on the ground, and rush to the pier-glass to sec if you are intact and if your clothes fit you all right. You have bobbed around like water-lily for aD hour, and now you want to get your land legs; because you feel as though you had been going down hill astride rolling barrel, and had been obliged to jump up and down to keep on. Then you think how nice it would be if horses were only thin, like grayhounds, that you might clasp your feet under them to keep your seat. You are in a father, but you are happy because the lesson is over. You have been bounced until your collar button felt like a dumb-bell every time it touched youl-neck. You feel that riding would be more enjoyableif you could have lounge fastened on the horse, and ride'lying down. Even if you don't ride for fun, there lot $ of fun in it for the lookers-on. You can ride well when you can whirl around on trotter with out dislodging your artificial teeth, or hearing your change jingle in your vest-pocket. Riding is said to be splendid for the liver; but, for my part, give me English