Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1888-11-17

that top reef sail, and steady with
that guy rope, Spaulding. Now, all
together, bear to the right, Larkins.'
None too soon, for q miniature craft
swept round the bend. Only few
were aboard, and it was plainly to be
seen that the bird of the water was
at the
MERCY OF THE WAVES.
Straight for the shore it was driv-
en-. A crash wild shrieks! and the
craft rolled over on her side. One by
one the crew persisted before the
eyes of the voyagers on the "Sack-
vile West" One fellow was seen
madly battling with the waves, and
finally reached our vessel and was
pulled on board, half-dead. Imagine
the surprise of all when it proved to
be Gil McKown. Then all knew the
Inflated bark was the Prohibition
bubble, and mourned its untimelv
| destruction.
But, by this time, the trees and
mountains of Salt River cemetery be-
gan to loom up. The scenery was
beautiful indeed. Millions of skip
pers played fox and hound on the
water; the whangdoodles whanged
on the banks and occasionally,
blind Tom cat opened up his dulcet
strains, much to the annoyance Of
W.T.. Noll and John Dumford. On
deck almost every one was sea sick.
Charley Bishop was purple in the
face; John Morrison was beating
Rinker in the back with an
OLD HORSE COLLAR,
and Seibert's head was gently reclin-
ing in the lap of Harvey Cushwa.
Bill Dodd was stretched out fast
asleep on bundle of cheap flannel
shirts, and Boz. Snodgrass was in
tently cursing big blue bottle fly,
labeled "cheap whiskey," that kept
hitting him on the nose But, we
scarcely had time to note these things
before Colston sang out:
sDrop the anchor, furl the sail,
We have reached the Salt River vale."
Then the rush commenced. The
Berkeley delegation just got to the
tomb OF urUv1i III Urfnc. his pvIss
ical body had been lowered, and the
political coffin lid was screwed down,
so themuch loved political features
could not be seen. This was great
disappointment to Web Shaffer and,
Stuart Walker, who sadly sang:
"why did they dig Growers grave so deep;
Down in the clay so deep?
Why did they leave us here to weep?
| Why did they dig Growers grave so deep"
Over the big bushes crowded the
great notables of the party. Red
headed Vest, big headed Voorhees,,
waving moustached Blackburn, and
last, but not least, dear Senator
Faulkner. When the time for pro-
nouncing the eulogy come, by mutu-
al consent, Prince Charles was Sc
lected to pronounce it. With sad
face he declined the honor, saying
the doctors had forbidden him to
speak, because of throat troubles and
cast the mantle of his greatness on
the shoulders Of Boze Snodgrass.
Boze stepped forward. His finely
poised head, had lost some of its
poise. Grand he looked, and he
raised his hand as proudly as though
he still stood at the head Of the once
unbroken and unterrifed cohorts Of
the Berkeley democracy. His voice
was as the murmur of summer
brook, and in accents sweet as the
strains of an Eolian harp, he thus
addressed them
"Man was made to mourn. From
the time he bites the tip of his first
cigar, until his mother-in-law chases
him about the front yard with a
stuffed pillow, he is child of woe
and sorrow. To-day the United
States and New Jersey weep over
the bier of the fallen chieftain, who
liked Goldfish balls, and yearned to
sit at the feet of thecrowned heads of
the Old Word. He was great he
could pull off his shirt without I'M
buttoning the collar he could talk
through his nose with an eastern
twang that made the New England
Yankees turn green in the face with
envy. But yesterday his word would
have stood against NOVA Scotia
now lies he low, not even Belva
Lockwood to do him reverence. Bear
with me, (weeps on torn bandanna)
my heart is in the grave there with
Grover (Sobs long and loud Cut
off in the prime Of manhood, with his
free trade message just awakening
the joy Of the English Nation, he
falls like chief without weapon of