The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-01-12
THE RIDING LESSON.
4 Splendid Thing for the Liver But Not
Quite as Good n Juicy steak.


If YOU never feel like corked bottle
being tossed about on a windy sea, at
any other time, YOU do when you make
your debut on the spinal column of
horse.
You can scarcely realize what the
saddle is for, because you sit all over
the horse; and if it is proper to be in
the saddle, when you are not on the
ground, YOU feel that either the saddle
should be six times as large, or the
horse should be supplied with six sad
dies. No matter if the saddle is
strapped on SO tight that it makes the
horses eyes bulge out and look like
painted nest-eggs, it always feels as
loose as an old shoe. or the money that
sou can't tie up.
You feel that in a second You will he
away down on one side of the horse.
hanging on to his vertebre with your
heel, and you naturally bear your
weight in the stirrups to keep your
balance.
You are afraid of being laughed at
by your instructor, Or you would order
some billets of wood to be hammered
between the horse and the girth. just
as boys put wood under their straps to
keep their skates on firmly.
You are assured that if the girth
were frightened, the horse would COL
lapse with cramps; so you say no more
on the subject. You know in your
heart that the saddle is not going to
slip. but at the same time you can't
help imagining that it is.
So you go on wobbling and bobbing
from side to side. feeling as though you
would like to put your arms about the
horses neck for safety. As soon as
you stand firmly in the stirrups, You
forget to press your knees against the
saddle; and when you press your knees
against the saddle. your feet fly out of
the stirrups, and you feel as awkward
as the boy trying to ride the trick mule
three times around the circus ring.
"You will drop into it before you
know it." says the teacher.
This is very soothing, because up to
this time you think you will drop of
before you know it.
The teacher tells you he never had a
pupil drop off once in all his experience.
and then shows you collection %
scars under his hair that branch out in
every direction. If he should lose his
hair, the observer would naturally
think that he had come in contact with
a skating pond. and the spider had
been made on his head instead of on
the ice.
Then he tells You how the stone wall
felt when he struck it on the fly. But
says nothing about how he felt himself.
The great trouble is, that you have
about eight or ten things to remember
at once, while your whole atte ntion is
exhausted in srying to keep off the tan
bark. If you remember to sit back
when the horse comes to stop, you
forget to keep your hands down. YOU
think you can balance yourself better
by spreading your arms out like wings.
Then if YOU remember about youl
hands, you forget to turn your toes in
you feel as though you were going &c
turn them up every minute, to borrow
an Occidental figure.
And then your feet work through the
stirrups to the heels, and you can't get
them out.
The horse then gives lurch. and
away 60 your straps; and in about two
minutes the bottoms of your trousers
are up about your knees. and other
riders can't understand why you are
riding in knickerbockers.
Just as you are doing your best tc
rise. in response to your teachers lone.
two, one-two, one-twor' the horse gets
you against the fence. and. in proceed.
ing six feet in this way, takes about six
inches of skin off you. But this makes
no difference you are riding to reduce
your flesh.
You assure your teacher that yOu
never had so much fun in all your life.
At the same time You take sly look al
the clock to see how soon your hour
will be up. You know the horses speed
will be incr eased at the end of the lesson,
to show you how you are improving,
and get you into such lather that yor
will take cold when you so out on the
street. As much as you like riding,
you always feel keener admiration
for it when you alight on the ground,
and rush to the pier-glass to sec if you
are intact and if your clothes fit you
all right. You have bobbed around
like water-lily for an hour, and now
you want to get your land legs; because
you feel as though you had been going
down hill astride rolling barrel, and
had been obliged to jump up and down
to keep on. Then you think how nice
it would be if horses were only thin,
like grayhounds. that you might clasp
your feet under them to keep your seat.
You are in lather, but you are happy
because the lesson is over. You have
been bounced until your collar button
felt like q dumb-beil every time il
touched your neck. You feel that riding
would be more enjoyable if you could
have lounge fastened on the horse.
and ride lying down. Even if you don't
ride for fun, there's lots of fun in it fol
the lookers-on. You ca ride well when
you can whirl around on trotter with.
out dislodging your artificial teeth. OF
hearing your change jingle in your
vest-pocket.
Riding is said to be splendid for the
liver; but for my part. give me English