The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1888-03-14
Pith and Point.

AN elttUTlt DOOl-pOllSlleI Is uOW Oh uhO
market, which produces n brilliant polish.
An electric stove is also announced.
The constitution of Florida requires the
Judges of the supreme court to draw lots to
determine which shall exercise the functions
of chief justice.
"DD the wedding go off smoothly"
About rs smoothly as such affairs always
go off. The only hitch that occurred was
when the pair stood up to be united.
"wHAr's your business?" "I feed the
lions in menagerie." "Must be dreary
work" con the contrary, it's very funny.
They keep the table in roar."-To'on
Topics.
A MAN who is under arrest at Grand
Rapids for bigamy states that he is subject
to fits of alteration of mind, and that If he
ever married more than one woman he has
forgotten the circumstance.
Mrs. MARGARET, DUTToN, of Shebyville,
Ind, was great smoker until she reached
the age of one hundred years; then, fearing
that the practice might shorten her life, she
gave it up. She is now 102.
AN Albany man fell dead while cleaning
the snow off his sidewalk 1t is supposed
he suddenly discovered that he had got over
the line and removed the snow from nearly
six inches of his neighbours territory.
In New York few days ago man threw
off his overCoat and plunged into the East
river to save man who was drowning.
While he was engaged in the merciful act
thief came along and stole his garment.
In the opinion of the Archbishop of
Canterbury the greatest evil by which the
English working classes are afflicted els
the custom of early marriage" Most peo-
pie in this country have an idea that the
greatest evil is drink.
MIR. JINKs Ito landlady): What kind of
a duck did you say this was, Mrs. Dinkly?"
Landlady " didn't say. | simply ordered
1ttalr frnf hn htlfn Mr. inl
Struggling with second joinD " | think he
has sent you decoy duck"
A ST. ALBANs four-year-old miss had
been naughty the other day and her mamma
shut her up in a closet by way of penalty.
The little one alternated between fits of cry
ing and appeals for freedom, and was heard
to say within herself: g tell you this is
ough!'-MeSSenger
A PARAGRAPH is going the rounds stating
that Rev. Mr.. Bacchus is conducting tenn
perance revival in Delaware, Rev. Mr..
Smoker is preaching against tobacco, and an
English preacher, Rev. Mr.. Husband is OPP
posing marriage among the clergy. They
probably serve as terrible examples"
THE cheapest and simplest gymnasium in
the world-one that will exercise every bone
and muscle in the body-is a fiat piece of
steel notched on one side, fitting tightly into
wooden frame, and, after being creased on
both sides with bacon rind, rubbed into
buck.-Ne1C York Medical Times.
THERE is always room at the top, young
man." said the coal merchant to the lad
who wanted to know if there was a place
for him in the office. Yes, I've noticed
that whenever I've seen your wagons go
by" said the young man. But. for all this
evidence of his being close observer he
did not get the job.-Cbicdgo Times.
ALTHOUGH Queen Victoria is said to retain
the custom of a dish of oatmeal porridge,
served every morning in a blue china bowl
the fashion of oatmeal as necessary break
fast dish has sensibly declined in this
country. Some people frankly do not like
oatmeal; others assert that it is injurious to
the complexion; most prefer varied food
which contains the same elements of nutri-
ment as oatmeal.
SHE had Just finished polonaise by
Chopin, and painful silence followed the
outburst of applause which greeted the per-
former as she rose from the piano, when the
senator was heard turning to his Kentucky
friend with; Would you like a sonata be-
fore dinner, colonel?" "Wel, / don t
mind" promtly replied the colonel, smack
ing his lips and bracing up. II had two on
my way here, but reckon 1 can stand
another"
A STORY is told of a Catholic priest in
Australia whose bishop gave him horse.
To commemorate the event the priest named
the horse The Bishop" Soon after the
bishop dined with the priest, and during
the course of the dinner the priests man of
all work came in and said in, an audible
whisper: " It's a hot day, your reverence,
an was thinkin' it would be good thing
to throw a bucket of water on The Bishop"
The bishop was somewhat startled until
matters were explained to him.
THE following is a sailors epitaph in st.
Brelade's church-yard, Island of Jersey:
Weep for a seaman, honest and sincere,
Not cast away, but brought to anchor here;
Storms had overwhelmed him, but the con-
scious wave
Repented, and resigned him to the grave.
In harbor, safe from shipwreck, now he lies,
Till times last signal blazes through the
skies.
Reftted in moment shall he be,
Sail from this port on an eternal seal"
NEAR Williamsport, Penn, there is on
tombstone the following epitaph:
Sacred to the memory of
HENRY HARRIS.
Born June 9th. 1871 of Henry Harris
and Jane his wife
Died on the lth of May, 1887, by the kick of colt
Peaceable and quiet, friend to
his father and mother, and respected
ys5 t TeS % enew w him; 5nq wen
don't kick, where sorrow and weeping
is no more.
Over this inscription there is an illustra
ton of this sad accident of the rudest de
scription-a mere outline of horse kicking
naked boy in the bowels.
WHILE at church an old lady happened
to sneeze, and Immediately every eye was
turned toward her When she reached
home she said to Dinah, her colored mait
of all work, who had been her companion
at church; Dinah, why didn't you take
the blame of that sneeze on your shoulders,
You should have made it appear as though
il was you, not |, that sneezed." The mex
Sunday the old lady sneezed again. Som,
of the young folks Uttered, and there was
broad smile on the faces of the congregation
as the supplemented, faithful Dinah aros,
and said: 81 takes de blame oh dat sneeze
my missus hab jest sneezed on my owl
shoulders! - Youths Companion
THE question is propounded in Science
Is it true that while one holds his breath
is impossible for him to be stung by wasp
A Connecticut correspondent replies: "
have picked up hundreds of live wasps
holding my breath at the moment that tn
wasp was grasped, and have never bee
stung under such circumstances" Thi
would appear to settle it. In order to rer
der the sting of wasp innocuous all tina
one has to do is to hold ones breath Thu
at one fell swoop the wasp is shorn of hi
power to injure the human race and rel
dpred as harmless as the lady-bup or tn