Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1888-11-13
SEASONED oHEsTNuTs.
Orny-Whisltered Conundrums Collected by
Lover of the Antique.

Lover of the Antique.
How did Henry VIII. differ from
other mon as suitorP Hcmarrlod his
wives and axed them afterwarl.
What was Joan of Arc made OF ?
Maid OF Orleans What killed horP
Too much hot stake.
When did Caesar first go to the Irishp
When he crossed the Rhine and went
back to bridge it.
The name OF what celebrated Scotch
man does person mention when tho
hired man raps on the doorp John
Knox.
When the boy complains that the
meat is tough and his father advises
him what to do about it, the name OF
what great writer does he mentionp
| Chaucer.
When wero Napoleon's clothes rag
gedP When he was out at Elbe.
When did George Washington take
carriageP Whom he took hack at the
cherry tree.
The names of what throo writors
does man use when he puts his hand
on hot stoveP Dickens, Hewitt, Burns.
II the founder of Pennsylvania's
mothers sisters kept q pastry shop,
what would they call the rates at
which they sold their picsp Pirates of
PenZance.
What is the difference between tho
Prince of Wales and a bomb-shellp Ono
is heir to the throne and tho other is
thrown TO the air.
| The name OF what character in his
tory does person mention when ask
ing the servant to put coal on the fireP
Philip the Great
Why is Westminster Abbey like o
flre-placep 1t contains tho ashes of the
great.
Whom is paper money first mentioned
in the BibleP When tho dove brought
the greenback to the ark.
Why was Noah like hungry catp
He went forty days and forty nights
without finding Ararat.
Why was Pharaoh's daughter like
merchant in Wall street? She found
little prophet in the rushes on the
bank.
When was thcater first mentioned
in the BibleP When Joseph was
thrown from the family circle into the
pit.
Why is n stick OF candy like race
horseP Tho moro you lick it the faster
II goes.
When should We read the book OF
naturep When autumn turns tho
leaves.
What bridge is warranted to sup
port any strainP The bridge OF a
fiddle.
Why is tho letter like deathp tits
at the end OF life.
Why is the vowel o the only ono
soundedP Because all the others arc
inaudible.
Why is the happiest of the vowelsP
Because 1t is the center of bliss, while
is in hell and the rest are in purga-
tory.
Why is the letter k like pigs tailP
1t is at the end of pork.
Why is the letter like thundorp 1t
makes our cream sour cream.
Why is tin can tied to dogs tail
like deathp 1t is bound to occur.
What is the difference between n
dogs tail and rich man? One keeps
a wagging and the other keeps car
riage.
What is tho difference between an
apple and pretty grip One you
squeeze to get cider, and the other you
get side her to squeeze.
Why is city official like church,
bellp. One steals from the people and
the other peals from the steeple.
What is the difference between an
engineer and school-teacherp One
trains the mind and tho other minds
the train.
What kin is the door-mat to tho doorp
A step father.
What is the board of educationP Tho
schcol-master's shingle,
What is the difference between an
old woman and pretty grip One is
hairless and cappy and the other is
careless and happy.
Why does sailor know there's a
man in the moonP He has been to sea.
Why is doctor never seasickP He's |
used to see sickness.
What is it that will give cold, cure
a cold and pay the doctors bill. A |
draught.
Why docs an old maid wear mittensp
To keep off the chaps.
Why is a man who makes pens very |
wiclSedP He makes people steel pens
and then says they do write.
What sticketh closer than brotherp |
A postage stamp, by gum.
What is waist of timeP The middle |
Of an hour-glass.
Why is the north pole like an Illicit |
whisky manufactoryP 1t is secret |
still.
Why is 1t easy to get In an old mans |
housep Because his gait is broken and |
his locks are few.
What does man take when no has
o mean wifeP He takes an elixir Che |
licks her).
Why is door in a potential moodp
It's would, or should be.
Why is sheet of writing-paper like
lazy dogP A sheet OF writing-paper is
an inlz-lined plain, and an inclined
plain is slope up.
"Why is cats tail like the earthP |
1t is fur to the end.
What is the difference between SOL
dier and pretty womanp One faces
the powder and the other powders the |
face.
Why is II dangerous to 60 out in
springp Because the trees shoot, the
flowers have pistils, and the bulrush is
OUT Chicago Nail.