The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1888-12-22

l'jihy lucre, dirty bunl not,

''tiN ~ w = N'iih Ii' lft t'N I " I
he SGT to work nrw hand in
he hay field.
nv hat is educaticul" asks a
writer. Well. il is something |
ii college graduate thinks he has
until he becomes a newspape
man.
A man has invented chair
that can be adjusted in 800 diff
felent positions 1t is designed
for a boy to sit in when he goes
to church.
A young lady who was blam-
I'd for allowing her glove to be
discovered in a young mans
pocket, stated that she had no
hand in it.
Publishers say light reading
is good, while doctors say that
light reading is injurious to the
sight. Now. which of the two
are we to believel
A rat catcher advertises for
Employment to catch rats Ia
live.) Does this man mean that
there is such thing as catching
a dead rat2
is your house a warm one.
landlord T. asked a lady in search
of dwelling. 1t ought to be;
the painter has just given it two
coats, was the reply,
Auctioneers ought to know
something. but what think You
of this one? For sale, a large
quantity of oil painting by some
of the ancient masters Of theday.
Young lady Ito her Sunday
school class): Can any ofyou tell
me what is meant by a back bitter!
Small boy, who has had painful
experience: Please, ma'am, it's
a flea
A little girl, attending party,
was asked by her mother how
she enjoyed herself. 'Oh,' said
she, 1 am full of happiness. !
couldn't be any happier unless !
could grow
A little five-year old boy, who
had seen. a peacock for the first
time, ran into the house exclaim-
ing to his sister, "Oh, Lizzie
I've seen a great, great, big
monstiferous tail walking rounc
with hen tied to it !"
1t is now announced on the
authority Of an "eminent ply
sician," that it is not healthy t.
rise before eight o'clock in the
morning. This applies only t.
men. Wives, it is said, can ris,
at seven, and start the fire a
; heretofore.
Good, kind-hearted soul sha
she was" said Job Shuttle as b,
mused on the excellencies of hi
better-half, long since passed
away. "lt l don't meet tha
woman in heaven, l hope shal
miss her in the other place, tina
+ is ALL"
A Rockford girl had her cor
set torn off by a stroke of light
4 ming, and was uninjured, but
young man who called to Dor
. row book had his right arm
shattered and a piece of corse
K steel blown into his liver. III
said he didn't know that she wa
e loaded.
School teacher to a little DO,
whose father is a grocer-Now
Johnny. if your father has a bar
o rel OF whisky containing fort
gallons, and one-fourth oft leak
out, how many gallons does h
lose2 Johnny-He don't los
none. He fills it up again, ,figh
away,
"Will you please hand me tn
4 milk, Miss Brown T" asked
IS young man ofa fidgety old mai'
l. at the supper table. do yo'
take me Tor a waiter. sir2" sh
: answered. "We'l," ne added
h "as no one has taken you thu
a far. and you've waited so YER
, long. l should think you wer
one"
/. "How is IT." exclaimed tn
late Horace Greeley, one dav t.
e a subordinate, "that such blum
der as this should occur in tn
. Tribune l wrote that nam
Black and here it is printe'
1t Brown =" The subordinat
y pondered the matter and the
replied, Il suppose the compos
e itor and proof reader must bot
be color blind"