The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-11-24
PATENT FIGHT cRINks.
Men WI Spend yheir Tune ard Money
Euiid,nr Castles I'm the Air.

J answer, but one Of the cranlIiest fell
lows with whom | have had 20 deal
was the inventor of revolving pulpit.
| The man had box containing o small
model Of his invention. He believed
that all Of the churches in the world
would buy his pulpts. He wanted
me To obtain patent and assist him
in organizing company 90 manufact-
urc aud sell the invention. Millions
in il, lie said; and when ! told him
that he was fool and that If he didn't
slSedaddlc I'd help him down stairs.
he was rs mad as q hornet. His in
vcntion was indeed unique The idea
was 10 have the church circular in
form, with the pulpit in the center.
| The pcws were TO be arranged i'm rows
surrounding the pulpit. the latter
being slowly revolvcd by an electric
motor Thus tie preacher, without
exertion on his part. Would be turned
SO Is face the different portions of his
CONGREGATION succoSSivCiy The last |
heard Of the inventor he was in an
asylum for the insane
Among the cranks who are the
greatest annoyance 20 the lawyer are
| the individuals who think they have
/ discovered the secret # perpetual mo-
ton. These persons have not quite
perfected their inventions. bpt each ~
anxious TO protect his machine by a
patent and prevent others from steal
ing the fruit Of his wonderful dis
covcry.
~ man once graycly informed me"
said The lawyer that he knew how
10 make q watch that would never run
down. Now, such tinepiecc would
be a godsend 70 any person. No wind
ing, no key. no running down. mo-
troubled asked The inventor If he
could show me a working model. He
replied that lac had no model handy.
but he would explain his theory. |
had the janItor bounce him from my
office without waiting for the proposed
explanation Any person Of sense
knows that no machine can be con
structcd which viii create power in H.
self. There must be some chemical or
other natural force to supply motion.
| have heard of "a man who believed
that gunpowdercouli be made cheap
and effectual agent for propelhng ma
chinery His idea was 10 ignite the
powder, n small quantity az a time, IN
cylinder, the expansion OF gas thus
created working "A piston presume
an ocean steamer could be propelled
by means of a powder engine, but &c
strikes me II would be q little awk-
ward for the passengers IN case the
fire happened to get to Acmaln>naga-
zine."
Il suppose very few women cranks
trouble you, said the reporter.
IL wish your suppositi0n was true"
said the lawyer, "but I'm mlcyod 10
say that it is not. There are plenty Of
women who imagine that they can
make their everlasting fortunes I'm the
field Of invention A. a rule woman
crank j. ten times more 20 De dreaded
than "A man crank She cannot DO
bluifed. When ono Of her kind comes
10 my Office ] resign myself 90 cruel
fate. There are women who have IN
vented fly traps, cradle rockers, carpet
swecpers, and goOdnc-s only knows
what not. Some Of their inventions
have been successful Northumberland
inventive talent Is hy no means con
fined to the male sex. The most that
/ have against a female cahk Is her
pr0cliyity to talk % man 90 death.
Whenever one Of them cnioia my door
/ mentally cjaculato, Heaven pre-
serve me
What is your advice t0nooplo who
have % honkerlng t0 distinguish tiem-
selves in The field Ci invention"
Il would recommend tat they
make use Of common sense Lettlcm
begin by making sure that fhc article
which they intend t. have l-tontcd is
both novel and usolul 1ucrc are
thousands Of patents which either
never resulted in profit o. luc Owner
or involved actual financial loss.
know Of person Who devoted twenty
five years and n lare fortune iaAeuted
from deceased relative IN construct
inc q steam man Ills idea Was 10
have his man made oil iron. tle body
comprising q boiler and fumace. and
the legs being worked by Oh steam
engine. Well. his machine was finally
perfected 10 such en- extent that it
actually walked. The invention was
patented but the owner soon found
that the public demand for steam men
was very small indeed. / believe he
did manage to sell few of the ma
chimes, but they werc Of no p--ctical
use to the purchasers c4c,pl as an
amusing toy.
Gould hc not make money ~ OK
hibiting his steam men ard charging
an entrance fee for the shor.
IL remember that an oicrpr ing
chap did purchase one al tnc ma
chimes and place it in vacant atorcon
Broadway The steam man attracted
visitors. who paid IN their dimes TO SEQ
him walk, but the show soon proved a
failure and the doors were closed for
rood. The last saw Of thispartieular
steam man he was rep0.iug lu q heap
Of Junk iron at an establishment ca
Center street. Air ships and flying
machines arc fay0rito dreams for tie
patent right cranks. 1t may BE- that
a successful flying machine, which can
/ 4 ...... i r..aIl L. CON.