The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-08
BRIGHT BITS

McPHEE-Hav yez match, Dennis!
Corrlgan-Oi hav
Mcphee- Wull, thin, light both inds o. thot
cigyar SOS 1t won't lasht so long.-Judge.
ANOTHER COMPLEXION on THE MATTER.-Polite
Conauctor-Your fare. madam.
Miss Cosy Cobb from Stamford You'd
orter see me before l got sun-scorched at Aunt
Hammers clambake.-i Times.
CAPHY-Will you be my WIFE Miss Krewel'
Miss Krewel-I prefer to be an old maid, Mr..
Caphy.
Caphy-Of course; that's the only alterna-
tive. -Binghamton Republican.
GENTLEMAN lat an evening entertainment
Pardon me, sir, but am not addressing the
Duke of Wynn WHY'S?
Gentleman Addressed drawing himself up
with hauteurl-Sir, | am the head waiter
Hdrper's Bazaar.
ner(-So you are one of the student walters sir
| trust you will accept this rendering COIN in
the spirit in which il is offered
Observation-Disclosures will, an long loife to
yez miss.-Tine.
DuDE-Miss, may I have the pleasure of
escorting you home?
Girl-No, thank you. l am only waiting
here for my sister.
Dude-Then allow me to help you wait for
your sister?-1erdS SGtingS
THE SADDEsRoF THE YEAR
Go shoot the hat, the old straw hat,
It's serv d its purpose now;
Convert it into kindling stuff,
Or feed it to the COW.
Washington Critic.
BoTH N THE SANE FIx.-Little boy-I
say, mister, do you know why you are like
water.
Fat man-No. my little boy, 1 do not.
Little boy-Nether Of you can run up hill.
Fat man chases boy twice around the block
and whacks him with his cane-Iecds Sift-
ingS.
Mo aI4s
repeat, Mr. Blande. what she said and, of course,
know one must not give entire credence to
everything she says.
Mr. Blande-Oh, my dear madam. | felt
quite sure you did not believe word of the
scandalous story-all the time you we're telling
it.-E1tn.
Mrs. LoTT-And has nothing been saved from
the wreck?
Jobb Lott ttragically( Nothing, absolutely
nothing except my honest name.
AIRS. I,obt-H-m! With that, and the trtfing
| assistance of the property you transferred to
me three months ago, maybe we caa start
again PUCK.
Mr.. HESPECK-De Poore, you're lucky dog
My wife says that when your wife loses her
| temper she never says word, but goes to the
piano and plays hymn tune until she cools
down. l wish my wife would do that.
De Poore-You'd change your mind after
you had paid out so much money as l have.
getting the piano repared-The Cartoon.
VAN TYNNE-Can't you pay me that $50 you
Browne, thunder! Don't dun man in COM
pany.
Van Tynne-What matter, when you owe
| them all?
Brownies; but, thank heaven, they are not
all like you. They don't expect to get it.-Ltfe
SPEAKING Of protection against burglars,
man in Mortonville is pretty well fixed in that
respect. His house is not provided with patent
burglar alarms, but he has seven grown-up
daughters, and each one bias beau. The re-
suit is that there is not night in the week that
burglar could enter the house without being
detected by young man and young woman
sitting up discussing one thing and another
NOrriStO,Cn Herald.
CHURcHLY-I gave Deacon Snapper $40 this
morning for the Kangaroo mission church in
Homicide alley.
Mrs. Churchy--Oh, Arthur! how good you
are; wish could do something for the mis-
sion.
Churchley-Wait till they start the founda-
ton, my dear. and then you can contribute
some of that angel cake of yours for the corner
stOnes.-L0iceH Citizen.
CUs-oMER-That w9s splendid insect powder
you sold me the other day, Mr.. Gilman.
Mr. Gilman with justifiable pridel-Yes
think it's pretty good-the best in the trade
Customer-l'll take another couple of pounds
of it, please
Mr. Oilman-Two pounds?
Customer-Yes, please. I gave the quarter
of pound that | bought before to a black
beetle. and it made him so i'll that / think if
keep up the treatment for about week may
manage to kill him.-fun.