The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-04-07
HOW A MAN BUYS A HAT.
Boston Herald.

Does this hat become mep" was asked by medium sized man with blonde mastache of the proprietor of a headware store on Washington street.
 "Couldn't have anything more suit able," was the reply.
 The customer stood before a tall mirror eying himself from every con- ceivable position. First, he would wobble his head from side to side, then turn half round and look over his left shoulder and repeat the move ment from the right side. The new hat would be tipped forward, then backward, tilted to one side and then to the other, taken off and examined, and the hand passed over and around the crown, then replaced upon the head and again inspected.
 sI don't think the brim is quite wide enough. Hsve you one that has more spread?"
 The storekeeper rummages around among stack of boxes, about one in five containing a hat, and finally comes across an article that seems to possess the required quantity ot over hang.
 "Try this one"
 It is adjusted to the customers head, when he again begins his panto- mine before the mirror.
 "This is trife large," he suggests, after spending five minutes in arriv- ing at that conclusion.
 "Can you give me one of the same pattern that's just trife smaller?"
 Another search among the boxes. Finally the storekeeper covered with dust and precipitation and almost out of breath from diving into his tall boxes, pulls out a tile, which he hastily dusts, while his customer is watching g pretty girl cross the muddy street.
 "How would you like brown2"
 "Hey?"
 "How would you like brown"
 ALet's see it."
 It is carefully inspected inside and out, then placed upon the customers head. After five minutes have elapsed he suddenly discovered that he had a "brown" last year, and wouldn't think of buying another, as his last investment proved worthless, the sun metamOrphosing it into mixture between lobster green and brindle red.
 "Then you think 1t won't do?"
 "Oh, no; wouldn't wear a brown hat if you gave it to me-"
 This causes the storekeeper to muse for a moment. He hasn't bought an invoice of new goods for six months. He is equal to the occasion, however, and shoves back the glass front of 8 tier of shelves,upon which are arranged headgear of all conceivable patterns. Selecting one that has been in stock for almost seven years he brings it out, and, after giving it & thorough brushing, adjusts it to the head of the fussy customer.
 A look of delight hits over the face of the customer as his admiring eyes fall upon the new piece of head garniture. He tries it on, likes it better than any of the others, but can hardly summon up sufficient courage to go out upon the street with 1t. He is sure he will be the exposure of all eyes, and he wistfully looks at the old hat and wishes within himself there was some way of refurbishing it. It is the most becoming hat he ever wore. He picks it up, puts it on, and turns to the storekeeper and says:
 "Why don't they make hats of this pattern nowadays?"
 The dealer is unable to answer, and 1ooks uneasilv ont of the window.
 ssThat's the best hat ever wore, and would like to buy another just like it. You haven't one, have you?"
 "No; nothing like it in stock"
 "Can you tell me where l would be likely to find one2"
 "I don't believe you could substi- tute it in the city,"
 "Well, guess I'll have to bay this one, then. What's the prices"
 UFour dollars.0