The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-07-05

When is a man not a man? When he
turns into a lane.
A little boy and girl were playing tos
getheT when the boy put match in his
mouth. oh, don't swallow it, scream.
ed Mary. It'll scratch on your bones
and go off,
No medicine is more conscientlously parepared,
more powerful, or more highly concentrated, than
Ayers Sarsaparilln. Its standard of excellence
is the result OF careful study This preparation is
acknowledged by the medical profession to be
the best blood purifier.
If it had been Elisha instead of Daniel
that was cast into the lions den. the
profit sharing system would very likely
have been given its first trial good
many years ago. Journal of Educa-
ton.
oh, mum. the was an ugly lookin
tramp kim into the front parlnr this
mornin' when OF was after dustin
"A tramp! And what did you do,
Bridget?'
4 busted, mum.'-[Burlington Free
Press.
No injurious effects can follow the use OF
Ayers Ague Cure. 1t contains an unfailng anti
dote and specific for miasmatic posons, together
with remedial agents which purify and re in
vigorate the system.
If it wasn't for one thing, John, said
she, as they sat down to their fruga
dinner, Il could have made some mic,
oyster soup
Indeed / What was that?'
1 didn't have anything towards it but
the SALT
A Wisconsin man has produced Sharp
less Strawberries of which 10 filled a
quart measure. That has been beaten
however, by Lowell strawberries, one OF
which occupied a whole shortcake
Il Lowell Journal.
have been a great sufferer from dry
catarrh for many years, and l tried
many remedies which helped me, but
had none which did me SO much benefit
as Elys Cream Balm. 1t completely
cured me.-M. j. Lally, 80 Woodward
Avenue, Boston, Highlands, Mass,
| suffered from acute inflammation in
my nose and head-for a week at a time
could not see. l used Ely's Cream
and in few days l was cured. 1t i;
wonderful how quick it helped me
Mrs. George S. JudSon, Hartford
Conn,
Apply Balm into each nostril. Price
80 cents.
Farmer Ito old darkey driving cana
mules)-swain wrote, Mary, love thee
wellr She replied that abe was glad hC
was teetotaller,
A baby that has four grandparents
living say, uncle, what dye get day
for driving them mules2 Old darkey-
4 don't git muffin 'cept my passage, rs'
gwine ter Albany, an de cap'n greco
ter let me walk my way.
A Parting word--Rememberi
Hop Compound. Unrivslled Spring anC
Fall Tonic. Pints, SOC. Sold every
where. Try it,
This is the order which little cir
brought into Lewiston druggists stor'
the other day. 1t was written on dirty
piece of note paper as follows: Mister
Druggist. Please send ipecac enough t
throw up A year old girl
A child who had just mastered hel
catechism confessed herself disappoint
ed, because, che SAID, though obey tht
fifth commandment and honor my pap'
and mamma. yet my days are not bi
longer in the land. because ! am still pu
to bed at seven o'clock
Are you weak and weary, overworkeC
and tire? Hoods Sarsaparlla is just tn,
medicine to purify your blood and Civ
you strength. -.. .....
Young man, he said, solemnly, 'wha
would you think IL | should an enemy
into my mouth to steal away my brainsi
4 would (hic) think, sir, hiccougheC
the young man, that you were going tc
an unnecessary expense. '-lNew Yorl
| Sun.
He, Just returned: What a very
homely man that gentleman near thu
piano is, Mrs. Hobson.' She: Isn't he
That is Mr.. Hobson.' He, equal to thu
occasion: oh, indeed How true 1t is
Mrs. Hobson, that the homely mel
always get the prettiost wivesP
WEIGH LESS THAN A POUND
But make as much trouble as IL the,
weighed hundred. What2 The Kid
neys. II they are clogged or inactive
disease follows. Paine's Celery Com
pound keeps the kidneys in good work
ing order, and induces healthy action.
Il never can be more than a sister t,
| you. said buxom widow, tenderly. L
an old bachelor who had proposed. 'Ah
madam, yes you can, he responded