The new North-west., 1888-04-20
LIGHT AND AIRY.

LIGHT AND AIRY.
A Modern CrCesus.
He pressed his suit with urgent zeal;
! She heard with dOwncast eyes,
As il she feared they might reveal
The love she'd fain disguise.
AClast s;le spoke, in accents low,
This wayward, winsome witch
| ''There's just one thing I'd like to know
Pray tell me, are you rich?"
His courage rose about mile,
| And gladness filed his soul;
':Rich: answered he; ''well, should smile
| My father deals in coal"
-SomerviIle Journal
The Neatest Yet.
| rTime-leap year. Scene-a tete-a-tetel
Lady Angela-What, can you tell me, are
these t'trusts" one reads SO much about
lately?
Adolphus-A "trust" is a combination for
mutual advantage, SO to speak.
Angela (confusedly) Adolphus- -er-that
is-Mr.-
Adolphus-Yes?
Angela-Why may we not form sstrust7'
(They combine. Tableau. Lowell Citi-
zen.
Honor from No Condition Rises.
''The young man who remembers that
there is always room at the top and struggles
untiringly upward is bound to win fame and
fortune"
Eyes, sir. I believe it."
'Many a time have grown faint and
weary on the way, but I still cried, Excel
sior,' and persevered until today
"Well, todayg'
Zone Of the best brands of cigars in Amer
lea is named after me- e"-Nebraska State
Journal
Up from the South.
Soon the birds will sweetly warble
Meath the azure northern sky,
And the hammock swinging nabob
From their winter haunts will dy,
Then, though nature will be smiling,
Southern hosts will writhe in pain;
And with groans and perspiration
They will sigh for frost again. ..
Hotel Mail
In Newspaper Office.
Telegraph Editor Ito managing editor)-
Big flood. Two thousand people drowned.
Managing Editor-Good. Give it a head
that would frighten saint. Where's the
fooda
T. Elm China
NJ E. (crestfallen)- n)-How many did you
say were drowned?
T. E.-Two thousand.
NJ E.-Amounts to nothing. Throw It
away.-Arkansaw Traveller.
Tho Cauae Of the Fai1nre
~ understand that the firm you belonged
to has failed in business!'
"Yes. Iregret to say it has My partner
feels very bad about it, too"
ION what basis did you commence busi-
nessv'
"He furnished the money and furnished
the brains"
''1ts no wonder he feels bad. It wasn't his
fault that the failure occurred. ."-Omaha
World.
Wen Need Them in Summer.
Let us gather up the billiards.
As they howl around our door,
Let us pack away the snow drifts
That now dot the Landscape o'er.
Let US bottle up the zero
That now cuts us like q blade,
For we'll need it all next summer
When it's ninety in the shade.
-Dansville Breeze
Polly Talks.
Barber Ito customer)-Do you want q bot
tic Of my Paradise Hair Elixir?
Customer-No. SEQ you've got q parrot
in tho window; can it talk2
Barber proudly)-Oh, yes, sir; wouldn't
take big money for that bird. TO parroN-
Polly, brace up and say something.
Polly bracing up with some dignity
Shoot the Eixir.-New York Sun.
The Eternal Fitness of Things.
Police Judge Young man, you are charged
with vagrancy.
''Yes, and it's ali outrage I'm merely out
Of employment, after having worked on some
Of the best papers in the country"
''Oh, you're a newspaper man, ehT'
mo, sir; I'm journalist. "-Nebrasko
State Journal
why We Refrnin.
Tho brightest thoughts are those we never write,
Tho wittiest words are those we never say,
Come other fellow has tho copyright,
And 50 for us to use them wouldn't pay.
-Somerville Journal
Old Man to daughter)-Clara, discov-
cred Nero lying dead in the yard this morn
ing.
Daughter-1 ON very sorr3, papa, but I
cannot help it. You know very well that
young Mr.. Harvard was coming to see me
last night, and you should have tied the dog
out Of harms way.-New York Sun.
An Easy Answer.
Editor-Anythingf from orr correspondent
in Newport? .~.m mm
Assistant Two or three death notices only.
What head shall put to thems
Editor-The standing one, of course; "Iife
in Newport. The Epoch.
Good for Restaurants.
"What's the matter with dinner, Bridgety
demanded the head Of the house as be came
home hungry and tired; "isn't it readyr'
mo, SOFT" replied Bridget; 1.-THE misthrew
hasn't got back from the cookin' school yit."
New York Sun.
The Baltimore Girl Was Willing.
"You will join our society for the sup
preston of slang, will you notT' asked Ethel
Of her friend Madge. .....
"Why, cert!" was the ready reply.-Balti-
moro Home journal
Fifty Cents to Get In.
The world is plunged IN deep despair,
In wormwood and in gall;
Wen have to pay our fifty cents,
Or see no games Of bail.
Washington Critic.
The Effect ON tho Patient.
Young physician pompously)-Yes, I've