Milford chronicle., 1888-08-03
THE LOST CONSCIENCE.

appeared, that IN the great orchestra OF life
one flute had ceased to play.
Some people even began to feel themselves
more free and more at ease in their minds;
they walked with lighter step, and under
stood better the joy Of tripping up a neigh
Dor, the delight OF hattering, cringing, de
ceiving, lying and slandering.
It seemed as if all the difficulties Of life had
been done away with by magic Men did not
walk the common earth, they felt themselves
carried along above it; nothing affected
them, nothing made them stop to think
Everything, present and future, seemed to be-
long to these happy people who had lost CON
science without even knowing their loss
had disappeared suddenly-in an instant.
Yesterday Conscience had been there, visible
to all eyes, tedious hanger on, always de
manding attention, and now suddenly its
place was empty Many troublesome ideas
had disappeared with it, and particularly
that moral discomfort which attends an inner
monitor Now, nothing was left to hinder
man from floating down the stream Of life,
enjoying all the pleasures that came in their
way. The children of this world felt that
they had shaken of the last chain which
had bound them; and it is needless TO say
that they fastened to enjoy their liberty
Now came the opportunity of the violent
Nothing was heard Of but crime and robbery,
and general ruin began.
Meanwhile the unfortunate Conscience lay
bruised and trodden under foot in the high
way, every one kicking it as he passed. Men
walked over it as they would have done over
any other miserable rag, wondering how it
was that such a thing was allowed to lie in
the busiest thorOughfare of a well ordered
town, in broad daylight
Heaven knows that the poor outcast might
have lain there long enough, but for a
wretched drunkard who, after eyeing it
stupidity, picked it up, in the hope that he
might be able to sell it for glass of brandy.
All at once, he felt n sort of electric shock
through his whole being. He looked about
him confusedly, and felt that the fumes Of
wine were clearing away from his brain.
Little by little there came back to him the
bitter knowledge Of his real condition-a
knowledge from which he had escaped at the
price Of drowning all his energies in drink.
AT first he felt nothing but fear, that
unreasoning fear which sometimes seizes a
man when he is dimly aware that some
danger threatens him. Then his memory
nwoEe; then his imagination began to speak
From the darkness Of the shameful past his
pitiless memory recalled every deed of viO-
lence, treachery and injustice of which he
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degradation of his soul, while his imagina-
tion gave fresh life to all the details At
last he had awakened from his long sleep.
but only to find himself in a court of Justice.
where he was at once judge and prisoner.
His past life seemed to the miserable drunk
ard one long crime, one perpetual shame. 1t
was not long after question: examination and
analysis, that this became clear to hTm-tho
first glance was enough. He saw his
own degradation, and felt a thousand
times more severely punished by this
tribunal which he had himself set up.
and before which his own will had brought
him, than he could have been by the harshest
human judgment. He would not even plead
in extenuation that the greater part of this
past life, which he so deplored, had been be- |
yond his scontrol-degraded, miserable drunk |
ard that he was; that mysterious power had |
cast him into this world, and driven him |
through it, as a hurricane, whirling across |
the steppes, drives before it slender blade |
Of grass. What was his past life! Why had |
it taken that course and not anotherl And /
he himself, what was he9 These were ques-
tions to which there was no answer He was |
only conscious of complete ignorance and |
deep astonishment. And now that Con-
science had found him, what good could he |
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less questions, to which there was no answerl /
Had she visited this ruined dwelling only to
revivein it its former lifel But then, ruined /
as it was, such a shock would be more than
it could bear. Alasl Conscience awakened
brought neither hope nor peace; she only
shook off her lethargy to lead him into a
court, where his plea Of guilty led to no pun
ishment. Formerly he had lived surrounded
by a mist; today there was the same mist,
but it was thronged with faces dire; at other
times he had been encountered with heavy
chains, but today their weight was doubled
because he understood clearly what chains
Aey were.
Our drunlsard began to shed idle tears; the
worthy folk who were passing promptly
gathered round him, declaring that nothing
but drink was the matter with him. NV
friends, l cannot help crying said the un-
happy drunkard; sit is too much for me,n
and the people shouted with laughter. They
did not perceive that he had never been more
sober than at this moment, and that he had
really made discovery which was breaking
his heart II this crowd had made similar
discovery itself, it would certainly have un-
derstood that a sorrows crown of sorrow is
to find ones conscience when one least ex-
poets it; it would have realized that it also
was tto oetSA III AAAAAA anu DQll us Lue /
drunkard who was bemoaning himself be-
fore it.
"No," said the wretched creature, 'I must
rid myseif Of this, cost what it may, or am
done for" and he prepared at once to throw
his windfall into the road, but was prevented
from doing so by policeman, who said,
shaking his finger at him;
''See here, my good fellow, it strikes me
that you arc looking but for a chance Of dis
revolutionary pamphlets on the
sly. Well soon have you in the lookup
The drunkard hastily hid his find in his
pocket and made off, He went steathily, I
looking round to see that no cne was watch
ing him, toward the wine shop of an old ac-
quaintance Of his named Prokorit h. Before
going in he peeped carefully through the
window and seeing that there were no GUS !
toners in the shop aid that Prokortch was
DOING behind his counter, lie opened th
iOor o. .,.' - ..-' '.'
trokoritch time to recognize him, thrust into
his hand tho terrible find and fed.
Some seconds passed before Prokoriteh
opened his drowsy eyes; then he felt a cold
shudder pass over him. He had a sort Of
vision that he was carrying on his business
without proper license; but after a sharp
look round he saw that he had all the papers
-1he Dluei inc yeiioW ana the Breen-de-
nanded by the authorities. Then he glanced
1t the scrap Of paper that he found in his !,
hand and seemed to recognize It. |,
"Ah, abr said he, "it's the same morsel q
that got rid of with so much difficulty be-
lore bought my license; yes, it's the very
iame.n
When he was satisfied on this point, he b
ioon came to the conclusion that his ruin n
vas certain thing, This is the argument
hat he followed, as it were, mechanically: Il
"A man is in business, this pest falls upon $
aim; there's an end Of it. No more business b
or him. b
Seized with fear hitherto unknown to a