The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-08-31


An experimental philosopher tell,
the Buffalo Courier that dreams can he
controlled by dieting. A supper ~
bread and milk before retiring. he 4
gives . calm night"
We ran Across the above in one Of the
GRAPH1c's exchanges recently, and We
are prepared to prove that the "philos-
opher'' alluded to 10 no common liar.
We have tested his theory-thoreuehly
l, was during Q series Of restless. wake.
full nights. A pitcher Of milk was Dor.
rowsd Of . neighbor and a few old OK.
changes bartered for . loaf Of bread At a
bakery. Then the editor Of this moral
sheet supped and sought his weary
couch to WOO the sweet and gentle
slumber which only comes from bread
and milk-a1a Buffalo Courier philoso.
pher. Dear reader, you have had the
night marc. haven't your But did you
ever have 8 whole livery stabls-four
horse teams, band wagon and ALL We
thought our calico horse WAS on top Of
Harker's store and from there slid down
the awning to the hitching rail on the
edge Of the sidewalk and walked the
rail to Novotny's and stood on his head.
Then We went out on the prairie hunt.
ing chickens with . Chinaman. The
prairies wsro dotted with gold, emsr.
aids, and rubies. There were banks of
chocolate ice cream, and hillocks OF
pies, cakes. and puddings rose at inter.
walls upon either side. while every few
yards We passed fountains spouting
bread and milk. The Chinaman finally
conducted as to the foot OF an endless
ladder. up which We climbed for seven
hours. stepping OF at last into . tree
claim, the trees Of which grew to an
astonishing height. Upon the top of
each was an elephant. and every bright
particular beast held in his trunk . red
Irish setter pup. As We wandered
through tho tree claim, the woods-for
they were woods-were filed with . soft.
sweet melody from the throats of mil
lions upon millions of ducks. but ~ we
proceeded dark. deep holes. or pits, be-
gan to appear all about US out Of which
crswled countless numbers OF the most
loathsome reptiles and lizards. We
finally sat down on . bench to rest which
Immediately arose to a height Of ten
miles. when it began falling at a terrible
rate OF speed. Our descent was made
pleasant by Vulnerable owls with red
wings and monkeys heads flying all
about US and arguing the tariff question.
When we reached terra firmA it turned
out TO be an island IN mid ocean-a bar.
rem rock inhabited by snakes, lizards,
and ducks. Each of the latter played
upon . Jews harp. while the snakes
brought US biscuits and cheese, which
they held in their forksd tails. At this
point we dropped to sleep. and whom We
awoke we found ourself astride Of
horse which could talk. The animal
said his name wac Ben Butler. After
travelling q long distance We came in
sight Of an immense crowd Of people,
animals, and repti!es-perhaps 10, 0OO-
of all kinds and cree6s. In the first
group were Napolean Bonaparte. Frank
Thomas, Belva Lockwood, and William
Richards quarreling oyer a base ball
game, with dictionary on the ground
near by. Tho next parsonage was Mrs.
Cleveland on . bicycle riding around
amidst the crowd. trying to pass q silver
quarter which had q hole in it. Baker
and Glass were lathering and scraping
the bones of tho Indians who had been
murdered by John King because they
wouldn't sign the Sioux treaty. We saw
Esquimaux talking about the telephone,
monks training for the prize ring. os.
triches smoking cigars, geese playing
checkers. mules running sewing ma.
chimes. Henry Cushing peddling Repub.
lican tickets, women buying face pow.
der. cowboys wedding onions, preachers
pulling teeth, Indians compiling die.
%tionaries, fees eating oysters, Doc Eel
ker teaching q bible class. pink children
eating sawdust. horses throwing dice,
whales eating grapes, goats wearing
bustles. oface.holders resixning, pigs
beating drums. gopher's ~snowballing-
just then we got q terrible dig in the ribs
and a petulant voice rang out in the
quiet air:
For heavens sake. Clste, do stop