The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-12-29
BRIGHT BITS.

SHE ltremulously)-George, pa threatens to
turn OF the gas If you stay after 10 O'Clock TO-
night.
He (delightedly)-Let him, let him, That's
just what want. He can't say did it.-Boston
Courier.
WHEN young lady was told that the latest
fashion in bonnets was to place stuffed ostrich
on the crown she said that might do for a
theater hat, but she didn't think 1t would be-
come popular for driving or shopping.
to,on Herald.
WELLER suppose Nigsby, if you were
worth million dollars you would absolutely do
nothing.
Nigsby (yawning)-Yes, by thunder and
per's Bdzar.
Now, CHILDREN" said the visitor, creasng
his face into the Sunday school smile sun baked
and kiln-dried, why do you think am chris
tian?"
Young Needless lin back seat)-'Cause we
don't know you!-Burdette
TOMMY wouldn't want to be the preacher
little boy.
Aunt-Why?
Tommy-o, he's got hundreds and hundreds
of slippers. They are scattered all over the
house.-TerIe HGute Express.
THOROUGHLY SCIENTIFIC -Bartender-Seems
to me you are pouring out pretty big drink
for that dime.
Tramp drink, sir, because the weather is
cold. want to get warm, and you know
1t is well ascertained scientific fact that lone
swallow does not make a summer. "-NeD York
Weekly.
A MINISTER'S taking his text from Robert
Elsmere' is now too common an occurrence to
excite remark; but we do not remember to have
seen reported hitherto what is chronicled of
Portland divine at a service last evening. HE
read selection from Robert Elsmere' instead
OF the usual lesson from the scriptures. Leu
iStoa (Me.) Journal
THEN you think you really appreciate orches-
81 "a in ipa1
sort of way.
"Well-er-yes That is think do Once
in while, you know, the instruments seem to
be all out of tune, and wander little, but when
the man hits the brass drum solid all is clear to
me."-Hdrfoyd Post.
w. ID. DUDLEY threatens to squeal unless he is
permitted to go his way in peace Inasmuch as
no good man is likely to be harmed by any
Mr.. Dudley be forced to squeal "let the chips
fall where they may" The chances are that
Mr.. Dudley is simply bluffing on seven-spot
high Chicago Morning Netvs.
The PREsENT-Scene: A Toronto household
Mamma Ito Edie, aged 315 years, just home
from her first morning at the kindergarten)-
Well Edie. how did you like it?
Edie-I didn't like it a bit. The teacher put
me on a chair and told me to sit there for the
present. And sat and sat, and she never gave
me the present. Detroit Free Press.
PATERFAMtLrAs-Ah it does my heart good to
see your Christmas trees. When was boy
used to go out in the woods and cut my own
trees. What do you Charge for trees
Dealer (stiffiy)-We do notsell by the tree
"Ol remember Hight must be considered
Well, how much are they foot ~
1--WE do not sell by the foot, sir. We sell by
the inch. Philadelphia Record.
LITTLE DAuGHTER-Mamma,m may play with
that little girl next door!
Mrs. Tiptop Severely --Certainly not. Her
papa goes TO his business in a street car He
hasn't q carriage to his name.
We'll, can l play with Sallie Liveryman,
around the corner. Her papa has twenty five
carriages"
NO; he has too many. philadelphia
Record
HARD LINEs-Dumley-I say, Brown, can you
let me have the $50 you owe me?
Brown-Why, Dumley, I'm just going to the
races. You wouldn't rob q man under such
circumstances, would you I'll see you again.
Evening of the same day.
Dumley-I wish you would let me have that
$40, Brown, spoke to you about. 1 need the
money.
Brown-W-what! Dun a man who's Just got
back from the races | didn't think that of
you, Dumley.-The Epoch.