The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-07
BRIGHT BITS.
LOVE laughs at locksmiths, because it holds
the combinatsbn.-Ne1oO Orleans Ptcdynne.


LOVE laughs at locksmiths because it holds
the COMMUNICATIVE Orleans Picdyune.
INGENIOUS THING, this English language
When you hear a citizen say: "Oh, ne good
man" you can't tell whether he is talking or a
pugilist or of deacon-Puck.
WHAT'S the difference between sailor and
a dUE-show visitor? One has his bark on the sea
and the other has his see on the bark, or words
to that effect. -WdShtnqtOn Crtttc
MISS ErHEL-But surely. Clara, you wouldn't
marry man for his money?
Miss Clara-Certainly not, er-that is unless
he was an old man.--AeC York Sum
IF ever there was a victim of misplaced conf
dence in this self seeking world it is the man
who lmagines that he is making the cOngrega-
ton believe that he is wide awake while he is
taking a little nap in church.-SomerUItte
Journal
ARE you familiar with Thackeray's works,
Miss Sooter?" asked Mr. Miles Standish of the
Pittsburg girl and she artlessly responded:
Cant say that am. do not keep the run
of half the foundries they are putting up in
Pittsburg. boston Commercial Bulletin.
Greengrocer Ito young housekeeper)-H
would you like some nice egg plant, ma am, or
oyster plantS
\ ouHg .ousekeeper-N-no; my husband was
saying only this morning that he is tired OF
eggs, and it's too late in the season for oysters!
The Epoch,
"How is IT, my dear" said a husband to his
wife, that while you and your sister Ellen are
so much alike in most respects, you are married
and she prefers to remain single? Surely she
has had offers enough" Yes, love, but Ellen
was always more difficult to please than l.
Ne1 York sun.
A FLORIDA HOTEL KEEPER retiring at the end
of an Improbable season remarked: 1T is with
feeling of sadness that | retire from active
control, but the house is left with gentleman
ADLER than am financially, to handle it. The
gentleman is well known in the community. He
is the sheriff Hotel Mail.
Mr. MOULD, the undertaken, was complaining
about business and appeared somewhat dis
couraged "Uriah," suggested his wife, II
wonder if it wouldn't brighten things up little
the next thirty days? l think people would
take advantage of 1.-THE Epoch.
OMAHA CHILD dnNew York(-"Oh. you ought
to see the prairiess miles and miles and miles of
beautiful fields and groves and flowers reaching
way off everywhere clear to the bottom of the
sky, all around. ~
New York child Mercy mel What lot it
must cost for keep-off the-grass signs.-On.ahG
World.
ROBERT ASKS ANOTHER QUEsTIoN.-''Who is
that lady dressed in black, mamma?" asked
Bobby, as he sat with his mother on a ferry
boat.
That is Sister of Charity, my boy" replied
Bobby pondered deeply for a moment, and
then he said: (Which is She mamma, Faith or
HopeY'-Hdper's Bazaar
A D1scoNso1ArE WEI don't believe in
these secret societies. said one Austin lady to
another.
That's very singular" replied the other;
"your husband is Forester, a Knight of Pythias
and Knight Of Honor, and you will have at
least $4,000 when he dies"
But what good does all that do me-" was the
fearful response, when he never dies?" and
the poor creature burst into tears-Teras Slft-
ingS.