The west Tennessee star. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1888, 1888-06-15
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
spesiman Kicks From q Recsnt Issue OF tn
Kicking sheet.

Specimen Kicks From q Recent Issue OF the
Kicking Sheet. n -
Ten THOUSAND REwARb.-On Tues
day night of last week, as we were
preparing to go to bed after a hard
evenings work, some murderous
wretch hurled a brick through the
only window in our Office. 1t was in-
tended for orr destruction, but that
Providence which watches Oversan ed-
itor as well as a sparrow willed other
wise 1T struck and Knocked our bed
stead to pieces, pied three dead ads on
the stone, and then glanced off and
ripped up several feet of flooring but
left our person untouched. We were
out of the Office inside of ten minutes,
but the bloOd-thirsty fiend had made
good his escape. We have been
warned that we must go, and this is
the seventh emphatic hint to stir our
stumps, but here we squat We don t
vacate. We don't scare. We don't
change our editorial course one iota.
We hereby offer SO, 600 reward for in
formation that viii lead to the capture
of the bastard who attempted to assas-
sinate us, and hereafter we warn the
public that we shall sleep with a
double-barreled shotgun across the
foot of the bed Any one coming to
the office at "a late hour to ask MS to
play a game of poker should stop at
SCOTS corner and whistle four times
| as a signal. .z,s-ae.ta aE@4
| CORRECTION. week we had a
brief item to the effect to Major Horn
/ had got STAYING drunk, destroyed a
| bushel or tive of valuable papers. had
two fights. and then gone home to
/ smash his cook stove and-lick his wife.
Next day Major Hornback called at
| this office and not only subscribed for
the Kicker for himself. but sent two
copies to friends in the East, paying us
/ six dollars in cash. We therefore desire
+. to correct the item of last week. Tho
Major was not drunk. 1t was simply
an attack of vertigo, to which he is
subject. He was never drunk in his
life, and a more efficient public official,
or u kinder husband and father, can
not be found on the face of this globe.
We shall make other corrections from
/ time to time as the victims come in and
4 subscribe. .. .-
! SPECIMEN VENOM. week we
nail the lie set afloat Iastweek by some
of the venomous serpents on Jackson
Hill to the effect that we had been re-
4 fused credit at Booker's saloon. No
event of the sort ever occurred, and
the story was set afoat to injure our
commercial standing in Chicago Ii
was lie made up out of whole cleth,
and as soon as we can locate the liar
he'll be made to believe that double
! two-stoTy house fell upon him ~-A+ "
REVENGE. Two weeks ago we had
the pleasure. of showing Steve Battle
up to this community in his true light
that OF a jail-breaker, incendiary and
rebber. In revenge Steve waited for
US in front of the widow Chiffon 3
house the other night, where it is well
known we are doing a little counting
with a view to matrimony, and as we
| reached the road he made a rush for
i us, crying out that he would have our
I life. 81 We were taken uhawafes,
knocked down andrpounded until we
couldn't hollers AS a result, Steve
Battle has been run out of this town
with rail beneath him, and warned
that he will be hung if he returns
We are able to be about again, and
return our thanks to such friends as
have sent in flowers, sausages, butter
crackers, Goldfish and other mementoes
We expected a dozen wallopings the
first year of our stay, and will probably
get 'em, as we have averaged one ,
month so far The worm will turf
some day, however, and then look out
THANKS. Thursday night, jus
as we had exchanged our day-shirt fol
the calico Mother Hubbard in which
we sweetly sleep, music suddenly broke
on the Silly atmosphere. 1t was lit
tie seFenade arranged for our benefi
by that golden-haired angel. Miss Bella
Hawkins, whose father has beer
prominently mentioned as our next
mayor. She led band of five, anC
they played two fiddles and sang sew
eral old ballads which deeply affected
us. Indeed, for the moment we were
carried back to our mothers knee, ant
all that night we felt much nearer
Heaven than ever before. Miss Bella
is not only the superior of any song
stress before the American public, bu
her father and mother are stars fitted
to adorn any armament They reside
in that beautiful adobe on the right az
you rise Jackass Hill, and one has bu
to glance at the outside to realize that
1 people of culture live there. Yes, i
was a glorious sercnade, and we shall
feel the invigorating effects of it fo
J some months to come. Any subscriber
receiving paper with an ''X' marked
in violet ink on the margin will know
that his time is half-out, and that he i
expected to come again in six months
] Detroit Free Press.