The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1888-09-08

Funny isn't 1t, that alter a
man has once given his word he
should try so hard to keep it!
A woman's motto; There's al
ways room at the bottom-for
a postscript or two.
Mrs. Youngwife--I can't see
why my bread don't raise, John.
I've just tried everything.
Mr.. Y. Qaying down his bis
cult in despair)-Ever try dyna-
mite, my dearl
Teacher-Supposing that eight.
ofyou should together have forty
eight apples, thirty-two peaches,
ifty-six plums, sixteen melons,
what would each Of you have!
Pupils (in chorus)-The stomac-
ache.
Nothing can equal postage
stamp for evenness of temper
and calm. You can lick it till
it perspires in every pore, but it
won't change its color.
A German citizen of Hoboken
wes informed that a lady had
called to see him in his absense
ga lady," he mused loud, "a
lady" Upon an accurate de-
scription he suddenly frightened
up and added: Oh, dot was no
lady; dot vos my wife"
"Why, bless your heart, Eras-
mus, dis yer fotygraf amt like
YOU no how. 1t makes yer look
ten years older than you is. "
"Dat's all right honey. |
needn't get another toOken for
de next ten years. Sect"
Many huge turtles frequent
the coasts OF lower California, ii
being a not uncommon sight to
see those of three or four hun
dred pounds weight. A traveller
from the Fast lately saw a man
rush into the water and mount
one of these monsters for ride
which he obtained without any
trouble.
Clergymen ought to be yer!
careful in the choice oflanguage
or serious results may ensue." ."M!
brethern," said one lately, g
will now pass" and before h'
could proceed, a sleepy heare
in the front pew, suddenly start
ed into life and cried out, "Thel
make it spades, and play i
alone"
A New YORK. man was so en-
raptured with a lady at a fame,
ball that he offered her 800 t.
unmask. She accepted the mon
ey saying, "Now your wife ca
pay the sevant girls back wages
It was his mother-in law.
Strange and intere sting pet
reflections were at a late dat
being taken from stone quarrie
near Alton, III. Geologists hay
determined some of them to b
Of huge batrachians of very II
mote date.
An alligator killed the othe
day at Dade City, Fla, weighe
six hundred pounds and wa
fourteen feet long. Upon bein
opened the sauriar. was found
contain another alligator six fe'
in length.
The preparations for the con
ing Easton Fair are on a sea
more extensive then ever befor
The purses for trotting amou1
to $3,175, and the premiums
be offered to exhibitors amour
to 4,000., besides which the
will be about 200 special pr
miums offered by merchants.
Assistant Superintendent
HI. Wilbur Of the L. v r. T
has posted the following motto
in all depots, to passeng
train men:
Hereafter all articles left
passengers, must be sent by fiji
train to A. A. Smock. Bethl
hem. All such articles must
carefully wrapped to preve
soiling and marked with Il
rumber of the train on viii
found, together with the date.
In 184l Amos Heller, of n
Bethel, cut his initials on a tur
and turned the tortoise loose.
few days ago the identical tur
was found on an adjoining ia,
and the letters are as plain
they were forty-seyen years a!
while the creature itself, n
Heller says, is no larger thar
was when he carved his init
on his shell.
A letter postmarked at Ba
aston Chester cnnntN ON