davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wichita eagle., 1888-07-15
They Came to an Agreement.

OF course the editors and printers were
exempt from CONSUMPTION. This was great
thing, and the newspaper Offices always had
all the men they neeied, and some that were
mere hangers on. Once there was pros
pect of serious trouble. The printers struck
for higher wages.
Several editors put their heads together
and decided upon the cutest plan imaginable
They visited tie conscript officer in a body,
stated the case, and requested him to con-
script the printers, as they were out of job,
and therefore no longer entitled to exemp-
ton.
The conscript officer had long head, and
he knew his duty.
Gentlemen" he said, "you are undoubt-
edly right l will go to work at once, and
as you are here l viii conscript you to begin
with"
'Conscript usI" exclaimed the editors.
Certainly. As you have no printers you
can't get out your papers. So you no longer
belong to the exempted class"
This was an unexpected result. The edi-
tors asked time for consultation with their
printers All differences were harmoniously
arranged, and in less than fifteen minutes
the editors were turning out copy for their
employees, who had again taken their stand
at their cases.-Atlanta Constitution.
Wichita eagle., 1888-07-15
ASTRONOMICAL TlOeITS.

Saddest sight of tongue or pen Is tie lttls
boy eating oranges in the railway carl
For filling in purposes nothing quite
equals the breakfast griddIe cakes Ct hotels.
al roads lead 70 Rome, ard all canned
shrimp come from the city OF New orlaans.
a good deal Of so called mutton broth s.--
CESS Just enough sheep for one to Eay .sbahls
Not ore COOK In On Irish dozen osnpre-
bends how green peas should Is properly
boiled
TIE rnau -ho eats cucruberz at nth.
wants 70 see Mrs. Jarleyis wsrrorss vi.aous
paying.
Unless one knows the cheese family well.
Il Is best not TO Re too intimate vita 4. Ia
sEnEsT.
VERY few elephants can climb tree. ard
fewer native coazs know how 20 prepare and
serve rnacarcnL
Ho.el Patrols who AK for p!s g. hrezk,ax.
and ho-ainy for tea are always Of tie trfbo
tia. blows oszs The gas
Il is said 70 be English To rev.- wash straw
berries, bJ. 70 roli them Carefully IN tovel
Until ''the g.is" diSappezrz
Tie soup se-ved n dining cars il rrsads IN
mandatory, which flla cars az TIE rate q.
500 day with mock turtle, chicken, To-
Inato ard al cths- k2oas Of pal&.2bis so1a
Wichita eagle., 1888-07-15
Smithville Humor.

Between measles, mumpS and melons we're
having lively time down this way.
The world owes every man q living, and is
never slack in paying it to a good collector
If the people want us TO elbow" the town
they must help US raise the wind
We return thanks to Tom Burton for the
gift of q new linen buster. But unless we
can get railroad ticket it won't be of much
use to us.
A Georgia poet writes: 81 go to strike the
lyre.". Ii the fish season is on he needn't go
far, for the liar will come to him.
We were not in last Monday when Col.
Jenkins, Of the Forks, called to settle his bill.
1t is strange that he always calls when we
are out, and leaves nothing for us but his
regards"
Fellow citizens" exclaimed a Smithville
orator, when the war cry rang over this
broad land"- you was in the barn loft,
under six foot Of fodderl" shouted man in
the crowd who knew him
A certain young man, who is a first class
grocery clerk, asked us yesterday how long
it would take him to learn TO be an editor.
It's according to what kind of constitution
he has, and just how much malaria be can
stand before he weakens. Gal
News
Wichita eagle., 1888-07-15
ROYAL FlUSHES.

King Humbert's palace at Rome contains
1000 rooms, but the king and his family &C.
cupy l1o OF them
The car of Russia lately presented /, 0o0,-
O00 rubles TO noblenan TO relieve his pc
cuniary embarrassnents.
William Ii, the new emperor OF Germany,
spent two years in learning to set type and
one year IN press room
The emperor Of China is having electric
lights fixed up In the Nan-hai-tze palace
grounds at Pekin- They will cost 5000.
King Humbert, of Italy, has given up
dancing and at al the palace and state balls
his son takes his fathers place as partner of
the lady whom the king delighteth to honor.
The prince of Naples is Il good dancer.
The queen of Italy on recent occasions re-
ceived guests seated in the chair Of state Just
under picture OF her husband, the king.
She was dressed in severe robe Of black
velvet, which showed off her magnificent
pearl necklace to the greatest advantage.
The crown prince Of Sweden has been
robbed of 100000 worth of jewels Tho
duchess of Edinburgh was recently relieved
of $4,000 worth Of Gems in Spain. The
royal travellers of Europe should take with
them only "a change and their teeth
brushes" as Cadeaux says
The princess regent of Brazil, who is now
making a favorable impression as admins
traitor is foray-two years old. She nevog
signs her full name, which is Isabella Chri5-
tine-Leopoidine Augustine Michelli-GabrielIe
Raphaelle Gonzagne, Princess Imperial OF
Brazil and Countess D'Eu.
When the Princess Of Wales opened the
Royal Naval and Military bazar she was
dressed IN navy blue silk, with three bands
Of scarlet on the bodice and some touches OF
red visible upon the skirt. The young Prin-
cesses Victoria and Maud, simply dressed in
brown, tailor made costumes, were with
their mother.
On the recent SEVENTEEN birthday Of the
king of Denmark his daughter in-law, the
Princess Waldemar, presented To him piece
Of embroidery made by herself representing
in heraldic fashion the coats Of arms Of tho
principal members of the imperial and royal
families of Russia, England. Hanover and
Orleans, who have become united 10 that Of
his majesty.
The king Of Sweden was on his last birth
day the recipient OF a PRETTY little letter
from Swedish girl years of age. who, be-
ginning her epistle dear king" Informed
him that, as his birthday conceded with her
own, she had written In order to congratu-
late him, particularly as she loved Der dear
king SO very MUCH" lie wrote back: II
thank the little Miss s. A, G years Of age,
for her letter Of congratulation on my birth
day, which is also heIs. May she become q.
good woman, and thus afford pleasure 70 her
king, Oscar The letter was ACCOMPANIED
By handsome gold bangle.
Wichita eagle., 1888-07-15
The Wrong Ler

English papers are ocular concerning
Toung lady, a member Of the Ladies Ambu-
lance corps Of London, who enthusiastically
performed very remarkable surgical opera
tion off hand. Seeing man knocked down
by cab in a crowded thoroughfare, and
being told that his leg had been fractured,
she instantly volunteered to put the limb in
spliEts Onlookers furnished her with a
walking stick, parasol and some handler-
chiefs, and she dexterously applied her mate
rial amid the applause of the crowd Her
bnly mistake was that she put the wrong leg
In splints, as was discovered when the sufferer
was raised. But her intentions were excel
lent and her manipulation very clever. The
same may be said Of the American oculist
who recently, after chloroforming the patient,
had the misfortune to extract the good eye
30 the wicked reporters say.-New York
Graphic.
Wichita eagle., 1888-07-15
''Eating Crow"

During the "unpleasantness" between the
| states and England there were located on the
opposite sides Of the Niagara river British
and an American fort, and during an al mis-
tlce the soldiers Of both garrisons were accus-
toned to go hunting. Among the American
troops was one long, lank, suffering speci-
E,en OF the genius Yankee, who would per-
slst, In spite OF orders to the contrary, in go
ing across the river on his hunting expedi-
tons One day when on the Canada side he
had had poor luck and got nothing, but re-
solved not to go back entirely empty handed.
While passing through the grounds OF an
English gentleman, he spied crow, and,
blazing away, brought it down.
The Engiishman had witnessed the shot
and resolved to punish the offender for poach-
ing on his private grounds. Az the Yankee
was loading his gun he approached, and,
comphmenting him on his good shot, asked
to look at his gun. The unsuspecting Yankee
handed it to him, and the Briton, bringing
the gun to his shoulder and covering the
Yankee, abused him for trespassing on his
grounds, and ordered him, on pain Of death,
to take bite out of the crow. The soldier
begged and pleaded. but to no avail The
Englishnlau had the drop" on him, SO he
finally bit piece from the breast Of the
crow. The Englishnan, after warning him
to keep Off his premises in the future, handed
him back his gun and babe him clear out.
No sooner was his rife returned than he
covered the Briton and ordered him to finish
the crow. Then it was the Englishman's
turn to beg off, but the Yankee was firm. and
the Englishman, with many wry face, did
succeed in downing several bites Of the I'M
savory bird.
His wounded honor being appeased, the
Yankee betook himself back to the fort. The
EnglIshman the next day went to the Ameri-
can commander and told his version of the
affair, and demanded that the culprit be
punished. From the description given the
American officer knew the offender must
have been the suffering soldier, and ordered
him to be brought before them. When he
came in the captain asked him if he had ever
seen ''the gentleman" before. The Yankee
shifted uneasily from one foot to the other,
and, after several attempts, finally answered
that he had. "When and under what cir
cumstancesl" asked the officer 81 d-d-dined
with him y-y-yesterday, captin," suffered
the soldier. The story goes that his wit
saved the soldier from Observation-Disclosures
Constitution.
Wichita eagle., 1888-07-15
He Left Suddenly.

He was good looking, what you might
term handsome young fellow lie had the
glow Of high health in his cheeks, and a
brand new seersucker on his back His bright
blue eyes danced, as if keeping time with the
blue ribbon ends that huttered on his new
hat, as ne sat down after passing his fare up
TO the box. The world was beautiful to him
for about three minutes. Then be began
to eye two young women opposite him COW
srtly, and as he looked his body seemed to
shrink. An expression OF pain fitted over
MS features. Then be grasped his cane ner-
vously, like a man going to have "a SPELL"
rose quickly, and made dash for the door,
Something impelled him to move quickly
Judging from the color OF the left side of his
lew coat, it must have been about pint Of
cherries he had put into his pocket, and when
he espied the pretty girls, forgot and crushed
them in sitting down.-PittSburg Bulletin.
Wichita eagle., 1888-07-15
BASEBALL NOTES.

Boston traded 81 ,s75 and Catcher wIss foy
Second Baseman Klnsuian, Of the Manchss.
ter club.
Garrison says he hss cot been able to grin
the ball properly since he hurt els fingers al
Plttsburg.
Pittsburg has signed its new rnsn-Pitcbe4
Staley, Third Bssernan Cleveland and FIN
Bazelnan Bocklsy.
Harry Virgil. has bad ever ono hurdrsd
players On The Philadelphia pGy rou Gsnos be
became manager of the club.
There have been morn s1cceGsfs1 rssehs<a
dsveioped ts5s year than eur bsforn Eesrfv
eli the graduates Aom tie minor Lsaxuu -
doing fns work Tho thrss strsks ruis hae
helped tic young piscsra
Reckoning the s,sc,n al Or r,on.hA TAD
Clstkson, Bostcns tio0oo psseher, ~ho vm
probably nos Pitch naors fhaa N average a,
two games resk DARING the ssGEon, vi1k1l
paid the harNisdrnc wagss Of tz2 za,<. "a
hour, Or s. Is minute, for his sxy.c.s.
Wichita eagle., 1888-07-15
DRAWING ROOM GOSSIP

Japanese sleeping mats are new, and s,irsJ
cure for insomnia
Spider leg style of penmanship no longer
obtains" among the fashionable elect
Portable book rests for tho right arm Of
the large piazza chair are something new.
Rugs made of colored mating. and in.
tended for country houses, are scasonabla
novelties.
Tennis blazers recall the coat OF the young
man who was not nicely treated by his
brethren
Portfolios Intended for sumner use are
dainty enough 10 be exhibited ON tho piazza
for hours.
Rugs made of mating have reached quite
an artistic pitch, and are TO be admired ~
ali visitors N
Lawn racks TO bold anything from tennis
racket to a garden hat are something new
for the grass
Men in tennis blazers pass for near r~la-
tions Of the circus clown among the igncrane
and unsophisticated
The extremely low cut waistcoat Is too
.'sliss Nancyishn and effeminate for thos~
we call the manly men
Tiny Mikado fans, made Of paper. ars worn
In the hair by young girls who have not besu
released from school q great while.
1t is quite caprice for tho girl Of the p1,'
nod to wear the colors Of her favorite ooIIegs1
fastened to some part Of her gown.
The high black hat viii prevail at Newport. J
for al ceremonious occasions, and always a
night in connection with dress suit
Wicker. zinc lined hampers are taking IN. g
place OF trunks with mnny Indies, but are
not a JOY unto the baggage smasher.
4 new perfume is named Tuxedo bus
there Is scent enough II mako one believe
is an old perfume under a new name
Sunshade handles are a succession Of sur
prises and curlosities, and It is suruaissd sorns
OF the designers mus. DO In the lllat.,Ss
lsy,uru
Wichita eagle., 1888-07-15

k-s B-rr&r1 psre Gs Ergka artreas. IA
TIL and vcry ezndsona
Minnie Ezucs has besn xinSfng aCarroers
II LcEaoa. yith hef cns:zsn,.ry success. Ia
Ho7eruoe- shs VII return 20 America sna
star IN Easlirh ope-z, .nder tho rasasrj
men. q Carl Esrzkcsch
Caszosot Geo.t. lis Loudon dramatic
critic. says 'it Is g positive y.,sss 20 surs
from Ell t4ss tra<i6ss e-d rorssnss tr, tss
grand rerso-7nszscs q ada E4AAn a Rasts~
s-ssa, Which X . revelation We bav. -.
nothing hss IL E.1scs Sara B1rnhasd..s
AEr joan Drew, who appeared - ~
Arc1 Stree theatre IN Ph.l2fs,yhla q sA1<s
trzse ago al Lady Teazse, kas boa 90 It's
bo<-rs.s for s4zty -o;ls ysa<x- Her stage car,sr
ts-< bsea loa.er tAAn hat oc arr o.aar actor
CT sctssss IN America. VIII tee rosslbls sx-
esps@Sa q ssAa Csler.
Wichita eagle., 1888-07-15
WHAT THEY WEAR.

A loose cluster Of white poppies with black
hearts seems the foreordained garnirure FOR
black lace bo1nets.
Green's the wear, even for stockings-pale
geeen, silk clocked with white. or shot green
and white embroidered with both threads
A valley lily in white enamel relieved
against its leaf in dark green and fox glove
in diamonds AID pink enamel. are among the
latest and lovtesr of the flower brooches
Etruscan gold shoe buckles are added 10
the list of things you bet your best girl on
the race-but as you love and would not
leave her, don't venture on the silver garter
clasps that simulate q half dollar.
Ellen Terry has just worn an over dress
knit of pure silver thread. and fashion
writer wants TO know what good American
viii follow her lead, and so provide new
handiwork for her less fortunate sisters
Crepe spot cloth, of silk ard wool, with
double stripes. forming raised spot at cross
ing, and laiDe ct sole, line checks OF white
silk thrown up on a cream wool ground, are
among the best OF new stuffS for midsummer.
The very finest stockings are either those
Of white or pale colors, with fronts of point
embroidered in stripes OF roses, or else with
tiny bouquets dotted here and there upon the
instep.
Paris now ordains that Stockings shall
match the shoe instead of the costume aud
in the matter Of footgear leans largely TO
shoes and half shoes of black or suede IN
dressed kid, with for carriage or house wear
slippers Of varied bronzes.
a daring n,odiste has introduced among
her tea gowns the costume of modern
Egypt's best society 1t is loose and swathy,
with flowing sleeves that give somehow the
effect of a train and a girdls that is the
height Of elegant discomfort.
Wide hats of string or straw, very openly
knotted and guiltless OF lining, with flower
or two stuck on one side, are accounted won
derfully stylish; but il is suggested that if
shade be their purpose, cabbage Leaf should
be constructed to wear inside.
We proclaim to SHINING, suffering and
corn stricken world of women that pointed
toes and narrow soles now mark the cheap
and shoddy in footgear, the wide sole, with
Or without box toe, and common sense heel,
appearing in all really first class work
The British females sins against taste con-
tinue TO be as scarlet, for we are told upon
good authority that she now gets herself up
gowns of red cotton, without regard to age,
color or matrimonial condition of servitude.
New York Commercial Advertiser.
Wichita eagle., 1888-07-15
Alas

"Poor Godson! am afraid the poor fell
low is losing his mind"
by Jove! You don't say sol"
"Why, my dear boy, it is nearly O'Clock,
End just saw him with his o'clock suit Oh. n
-Lifa
Wichita eagle., 1888-07-15
The Way Of the Transcressor.

"Father," said Rollo, ''the feudal times
were hard, but these few dollar times are
harder, are they notf' 81 will not say, my
son." replied Mr.. Holiday, kindly, as he tied
large one in the knotty end Of skate strap,
that they are knot, but hold here in my
hand something that will strike few times
rs being the hardest lines that ever fell into
your experience l don't propose to spend
money. and time on boys education to have
him turn out a mounting paragrapher,"-
Burdette in Brooklyn Eagle.
Wichita eagle., 1888-07-15
HOW THEY DIED.
Henry I died OF giutsoay.

Henry I died Of giuttooy. E
Queen Anne died Of dropsy.
Charles died on the scaiTold -
Edward VI died Of decline.
Richard III was killed In BATHS
Henry VII wasted away, as a miSer oughA
fury.
James died Of drinking and the effects of
vice
George " died Of sluttooy ard druaksA- ,
ness
Charles II died suddsnly, it is said Of ape
plexy.
Henry III is said TO have d.ei natural
death.
Queen Mary is sid to hsv ed Of .
broken heart
William E1fus died the death OF the pod
stays which he hunted
Edward was strunzlei in the tower by
his uncle Richard III
Henry II died OF broken heart, occa-
stoned by the bad conduct Of bis children.
William III died of constructive habits II
body and from the stumbling OF his horse.
physicians politely called an apoplectic 1t
Edward III died Of dotage and Richard II
Of starvation-the very reverse Of GeorgeIv.
Old Queen Bess Is said 70 have died Of mel.
ancholy, from having sacrificed Essex to his
enemies
Henry VI died In prison by means mcw1p,
then only TO his jailer, and now only known
in heaven.
William the Conqueror died from enors
nous fat, from drink, and from tho viclencs
OF his passions
George III died as he had lived-a mad.
man. Throughout life he was at least q con.
sistent monarch.
George II died OF rupture Of the heart.
which the periodicals OF that day termed 8
visitation OF God.
Richard Coeur de Lion, like the animal
from which his heart was named, died BIZ au
arrow from an archer.
Edward II was bsrbarousiy and indecentfv ]
murdered by ruf1ans employed by his ewn
wife and her paraDour.
Henry V Is said TO have died OF a 1rainfnl J
affection, pre-aaturely." This Is Q ccurtly
term for getting nd Of king
John died, nobody knows how, but G n
said from chagrin, which we suppose 70 an
other term for q dose of hellebore
Edward I is also said to have died of a
natural sickneSsr--a sickness which would
puzzle all the college physicians to dsnuua-
mate.
Henry w is said 70 have died OF "Ht,
caused by ureasiness," and uneasines n pal
aces IN those times was q very common conn
plaint
Wichita eagle., 1888-07-15
Going the Rounds.

Greatness is paid homage to by some peo-
pie in peculiar ways Everybody must re-
member the story told in connection with
Victor Hugo The great poet was startled
pne morning by the intrusion Of three Eng
hshmen. 'Victor Hugo" said one, consult
Ing memorandum book. The poet bowed,
thinking that he should be asked for his au-
tograph next After the visitors had stared
for few seconds the memorandum book was
again consulted. ELEVEN o'clock; the lionsl"
Said the spokesman. Then the party bowed
and walked out Of the room.-Chambers'
journal
Wichita eagle., 1888-07-15
An IMPORTANT Distinction

willie" said his mother, with stern "a
proof in her tone, ~ shall certainly have t,
punish you this time You promised m,
faithfully you would ~ever play again will
that bad boy, Sammy Shackleford, and here
you've been playing bah with him for ar
hour"
NO, l hain't, mammal" protested Willie,
red faced, breathless and vehement, "pve
been piayIn' against him. He was on the
other side. Chicago Tribune
Wichita eagle., 1888-07-15
A Smart Man.

Mrs. Nose Schaumburg-I don't like dot
new country house vat you bought.
MIR. Nose Schaumburg-Vy not-vat's de
madden nit dot house9
ut vas too far away dot railroad depot
out"
dot ish choost we're you vas fool, Ee-
pecca. Ven our friends comes to make US a
visit dey viii arrive at our house an hour
later, and dey will have to go away an hour
sooner. Don't you see, now, Repecca, Wy
didn't puy house near dot railroad depotzo
Texas Siftings.
Wichita eagle., 1888-07-15
A DROP OF INK.

4 drop Of ink-how much Il holds,
Upon my pen point newly wet;
a brilliant fancy it enfolds,
Perhaps. if I could only get
1t rightly spread upon the sheet
OF paper. spotless, free from stain
Alas' gaze out in the street
And chew my pen holder In vain.
Maybe within tina: inky drop
A poem lies. designed for fame;
But / can't reach Parnassus' top
Because, you see, frny feet are lame
An epigram it may contain
Replete with wisdom and With wit,
Tn sure it would not make me vain
If Fate would let me make hit
But while I'm specializing here,
The ink will dry upon my pen;
I'll cast aside all doubt and fear,
Maybe my Fate VIII help me then.
Ali men Of genius. suppose,
Dash down their burning thoughts red hot
III do the same myself-Here goes-
By Jovei I've only made bloti
-Somerville Journal
Wichita eagle., 1888-07-15

Distinguished Foreigner Il think the
voices Of American girls Tery sweet, bg.
they would be still more musical II couTsrsa-
ton were carried On in lower tone.
Chicago Believe make good deal os
noise, but you NUS REMAINDER Cur favo-i.a
amusement is concert going ard oas gels IN
the habit OF lOud taking, trying 70 make
ones voice heard above the uar.sic, jog
how-Ouaala W Grid
Wichita eagle., 1888-07-15
federated HinseIE.

A candidate for office near Salem was
elected by a very small majority in a small
poll. His supporters called on him, agree
ably TO general invitation, to tender their
congratulations. He employed caterer to
serve lunch, instrrcting BIN to provide for
q number equal to all the votes he received.
About four times as many came, and IN bis
speech Of welcome be said; Gentlemen, I
bad an idea my election was mighty tight
fit, but should judge from the number pres
ent that | was chosen unanimously .'-Shos
and Leather Reporter.
Wichita eagle., 1888-07-15
The bitterness Disapreared.


A denizen Of CasS avenue and resident Of
Third avenue have long been enemies. They
fell out about piece Of land, and as time
went by each grew more bitter. The other
day the Third avenue man went to mutual
friend and said:
''Look here, but it IS very foolish in H
and me to be enemies"
$50 it is"
''He is fine man and good citizen and
want to bridge the chasm. VIII you help
neY'
Certainly"
SLOW shall proceed7"
"This noon you come to my barn and get
my horse and lead him over to Il. S. Tell
him it is q horse you think Of buying and
you want his Judgment"
"But I've heard he hardly knows q horse
from cow?"
Exactly; and that's where you'll get him.
1t viii be a grand appeal to his vanity"
At noon the horse was led over. At I
o'clock he was returned by a strange man,
who explained:
"The teller sent him back by me, because
be and the other Teller have been shaking
bands and shedding tears for the last half
hour. Never saw two brothers more loving"
Detroit Free Press.
Wichita eagle., 1888-07-15
The Love for NotorietH.

Condemned Criminals the scafold IA
good orderi
Sheriff. believe il Is
And is the rope going to work all rightr
Certainly"
''There won't be o hitch Of any kindr
'Not hitch.s
That's Just my luck. The newspapers
won't give me more than half a column IN
less l die in horrible accomplishments
Journal
Wichita eagle., 1888-07-15

"Can get position as canvesser for that
new book you intend to subscriber"
Publisher-Do yen know anything about
the bool,i
Eyes, I'm the author; ard I thought il I
could get position as canvasser might be
able to make little money out of it.n-Lon-
don Court Journal