The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-16
BRIGHT BITS.

NO, said the old lady, as she slppedon the
sidewalk and came down with much more force
than elegance, II don't like the sitty in winter"
Life
INDIGNANT RESTAURANT DINER-See here,
waiter, you've split about quart of soup down
the back of my neck,
Waiter (suavely)-There'n be no charge for
extra soup, sir.-BWrtington Free Press.
WAS it a case of aggravated assault ?" asked
the lawyer of the prosecuting witness.
No, Sir, it wasn't" replied the witness. Il
never said a word, and he came at me and bat
tered me up like you see me now. Washing
ton Critic.
YOU shouldn't have taken NO for an answer
so readily, Charley" said his more experienced
friend. Don't you understand that girls no
She didn't say no Jack" responded
Charley, utterly without hope. She said
Nav. '''---yeD York sun.
The country editor came into town on Wednes-
day, saw few Gags displayed, and when he
went home. wr,te that we and our wife at
tended the celebration OF the father Of his
country's birthday in Buff 40" This Ia tbs
same esteemed country editor who lately told
OF "a quiet but effective wedding. "-Buf0lo
Express.
son. feel quite proud of having you here to-
night They told me you were so busy writing
thai you'd given up everything in the social
way.
Grandson yes; so I have That is,
everything of any importance-er-I mean
what mild winter we've been having
Judy.
ELDERLY SPINsTER- can't see why you young
girls should be absurdly tmid. You can't
walk block after dark without being in an
agony of fear, thinking that somebody may be
following you
DO you never look back to see if some man
is following youY'
No What's the use? 1t wouldn't be my
luck. "-LincOtn Journal.
HAVE You many social attractions in your
far Western honey" she asked of young man
in Washington for a few days?
Social attractions he replied with hurt
sound in his tone. Social attractions Well,
| should smile. We've got eighteen saloons and
twelve parlors and about forty other joints,
where you've got to hustle to keep up with the
procession IL GShin9ton Critic
GREAT STATEsMAN-No, can't be back We'd
nesday. The forestry convention to devise
ways and means for the preservation of our
forests, which are being so ruthlesSly destroyed,
will not get through its work before Wednes
members
Wife-Well dear, it's noble cause and hope
you'll succeed. You'll start back Thursday
then, suppose:
Impossible! must then hurry on to Wash
ington TO help my party keep up the tariff on
lumber. "-OnaGhG World
Two NEGRO BOYS were dsputing when one of
them said to the other: You amt got no man
uerS, nOnOWS.
Manners, " responded the other, you knows
a heap bout manners, don't your Why, yo'
daddy was an ole Alabama Niger, an he picked
yo NANNY up when they was refugeein' here
durin' the war. Ny nanny an daddy came
from ole Virginny and never was sol in der
lives De Of marster wouldn't take TO thou
san, dollas fur EN- one time. You talk to me
bout manners! Shucks!'' And he turned and
went away in disgust.-NdshUitIe american.
ScEEE-Dinner party at a rich bourgeois
house Prosperous Barrister (recounting his
careerl-When | took my first brief ex-
cited and nervous, especially as my client was
a consummate scoundrel-a bad egg any way
you took him. but then l was beginning my
practice; he was man of good family, the
reputation of which would have been fatally
furnished had he been convicted so | took the
case and got the rascal off.
After dinner enter an important parsonage,
great friend of the host, who presents the law
yer TO him.
Great Parsonage Extraordinarily do not
need to be introduced to this gentleman; met
| him long ago; in fact. may say gave him his
first start in life was his FIRST client-Cdlcuttd
| Times.