The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1888-03-14
BRIC-A-BRAC.
THEY COULDN'T TRADE.

I met maid on yon hillside,
And she was fair to see:
sGive me kiss, fair maid cried;
Give me gift. said she.
ga gift within purse have,
The purse is in pack;
The pack in keeping lieth safe
On my good chargers back.
''And my good charger cometh not
While on the hill l roam;
He lieth in his stall, wot-
My charger is at home.
"And yet thou'dst have kiss, good sir;
My lips would give it thee,
But they are locked full fast, good sir
My mother has the key.
s'And my good mother is not here,
While on the hill roam;
Just as your trusty stecd, good sir,
My mother is at home.
A clean shirt is not bad bosom friend
ssPut up and shut up'-The stoves and
doors.
A sweeping statement-That ancient one
about the new broom.
The critics who expect warmth and color
in instrumental music should study the
steam whistle
A philosopher is man who may think
q great deal, but who never seems to 90
much.
This is cold, backward spring." said
the man whose feet had just shot from
under him on slippery sidewalk.
Some thought!essly overload the horse,
and then wonder when the education thus
given developes an obstinate, balky animal.
The number of women who care to vote
is about equal to the number Of men who
like to put the baby to sleep.
do you love me?" 'sWith all my soul,
l swear it. Nay, do not swear. Speak
it into the phonograph, and that will be
enough
There is question about the validity OF
! a marriage by telephone, but we should
think any level-headed judge would decide
that it is sound proposal.
| How to make fortune as iournalst-
! Go into some other business and exercise
| your Journalistic talent by telling people
privately how newspaper out to be run
There are in the Sunday y-shools of the
Christian world Ii, AT 900 scholars, 1852,
16, teachers, making a grand total of 49,
400, ,157.
You see. the trouble with Success thai
is too dearly bought is that you have got
to 60 on associating with yourself after you
have attained it.
"There is another fashionable institution
that should be sat on" said the lecturer or
hygiene, land that is the bustle." Anc
every lady in the audience gave vent to ar
audible litter.
Married men are preferred as officers or
the police force. The authorities want
men who haze their coursged tried anc
proved.
If the sudden changes in the weather af
feet you disagreeably, it is no less un-
pleasant for your animals to endure. Make
them as comfortable as possible.
Oysters DO not claim to be the lords o.
creation, and yet they are probably served
in more ways and by more people than any
other living creature.
Young writers in preparing their manu-
script should leave plenty of space between
the lines. The world would not suffer
much if many of them should make it al
space.
Tobacco stems are now being used II
making paper; on the principle, we suppose
that turn about is fair play, all the straw
and old rags having been utilized long age
in the manufacture of cigarettes.
A man who wanted to be facetious witt
the milkman as he was measuring out hi:
morning portion said, do you charge
extra for the water?" "No," replied the
milkman; "the water is thrown in. %
Wife-Now this is the third time I've
caught you in the kitchen talking to the
cook. Husband-1es. IL believe it is
Wife-Well, the very next time catct
you talking to the cook III discharge hel
and DO the cooking myself!
''Did you enjoy the opera last night
incurred his wife. "Not much, he an
swered: II was lonesome, and was sorry
was detained at the office so late that
hadn't time to come for you. This going
alone 20 the theatre isn't what it's cracked
up to be, my dear" NO, suppose not
returned the lady, thoughtfully. "Stil
YOU must have been very comfortable,
|
in your vest pocket gave you the advantage
| Of more than one seat"
WHAT LACK WE YET!
When Washington was president,
AS cold as any icicle,
He never on railroad went,
And never rode bicycle.
/ He read by no electric-lamp,
Nor heard about the Yellowstone;
He never licked a postage-stamp,
And never saw telephone.
His trousers ended at his knees;
By wire he could not words dispatch;
He filed his lamp with whale-oil grease,
And never had a match to scratch.
But in these days it's come to pass,
All work is with such dashing done,
We've all these things-but then, alas
We seem to have no Washington.