The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1888-01-04
FamlliSritss With Oar Nearest Frinds Not
Always WHs or Desirable.
A Word to Children Who Pry Into the Affrs
Of Older People.
Some Types Familiar in Friendship-Fa
miliar Strangers-yYives Who Receive
Familiar Attentions From Wrong
Directions.
written for the sentinel.)


favor. To their young hearts the term
Familiarity" is only associated with real
friendships-the endearments and unre-
strained exhibitions OF sweet condolences
and affection between parents aud children,
brothers and sisters, and the pleasant
merry home life. as a general thing they
know little of life except its rose-tinted
side. The tough and stony places which
adversely brings, the heartaches that come
when those most trusted ars proved false,
whose protestations of undying love and
confidence, and free and easy approaches,
are found to be only the guise to inveigle
and deceive for their own selfish ends. All
this sad knowledge is not common 20
youth, nor is judgment, born Of expert
eDce, easily attained which can teach them
TO distinguish between the true aad the
false.
Few, unfortunately, however, barely
reach the early stages OF maturity without
being compelled to recognize the correct
ness of this old and homely adage. Too
great familiarity, even with the nearest
and most intimate friends, may not al
ways be wise or desirable or lead TO the
hsppiest results, and beyond certain line
1t is license that refined and we'll
hammered people never venture upon.
1t is fault that is very lis
BILE 10 spring up in childhood, and
is, at that early age, looked upon as rather
more amusing than annoying, so that in
its first stages 1t is passed by with little
notice-merely q childish f0ible. But if
this aggressive element is developed in
early youth and is allowed to take root
and gather strength until the child
is supposed to reach years Of
habit of the most offensive nature, espec
tally to persons of refinement and delicacy.
II parents who, through that unreasonable
fondness for their children are never able
TO recognize any faults, could be sufficient
" reused to see in little child whereunto
this habit is inevitably tending, and hon
estly labor to eradicate that curiosity by
which child is led to pry into matters
thar are the personal rights of others, il
would soon be held in restraint and rooted
out But if they blindIy suffer this very
undesirable trait to take root and gather
strength, as the child goes on toward ma
turity it will then be hard, If not impossi-
bic, 10 eradicate it, and it must become
offensive to all who are compelled 20 come
In contact with it.
No doubt persons to whom this disagTee-
able trait has become deeply-seated habit
have many desirable traits. Kind-hearted
to all, 1t msy be, honest and true in all
their dealings YET few, knowing this weak
ness in their character care to associate
with them, feeling that it would be impos-
sible to be near them any length of time
before the effort will be made, and per.
sisted in, 10 discuss your own private af
fairs in the most familiar style ready, to
be sure, to make full exchange, and open
before you everything connected with
their own history in the most intimate
and confidential manner. Often il is very
evident that nothing wrong is intended,
and therefore one is at loss to decide how
to reply to the unceasing torrent of in
quiries.
There are, however, specimens of over
familiarity that deserve TO be met only by
open contempt. What more embarrassing
III exssperating than in public convey
snce, where escape Is impossible without
attracting attention, to have a perfect
stranger begin 10 ask questions and make
remarks as If on the most intimate terms
and with a freedom that would be scarcely
tolerated IN ones own family. There is q
class, to be sure, who really know no bet
ter. who have lived where there was little
opportunity for improvement, or any ex-
ample or teaching to rouse them to sense
of the gross Improperly in such liberties.
For such one can find some excuse and
some commiseration. And yet, even when
ignorance is offered as an excuse, do we not
feel there should be an instructive sense of
pIopriety sufficient 10 withhold even q
heatEen2
However charitable one may eudeavor
to look on such peculiarIties, il is pitiable
TO feel how barren that mind must be, how
little food for thought it must possess, that
finds excitement or interest in asking how
many yards are used in the dress of per-
feet stranger with whom they are not likely
ever to meet again, how much the lady
gave for it, what size shoes she wears, how
many pairs she buys q yesr, and an in
ter hIo lief 0f iponiriaa 0f similar
character.
Does any one think such things seldom
happen? A great mistake We have
listened to similar questions when travel
ing, and have been put through the same
or similar catechism often enough to
know tnat it is not an uncommon thing.
But there is another and worse side to
over-familiarity which can cause pain too
acute for any feeling Of contempt-the
abuse of the natureI familiarity which
springs out OF the closest family relations
Nowhere else are the laws of good society,
il we look no higher, so often set aside or
overlooked. When held in check by that
genuine good breeding and politeness
which springs from sensitive conscience
and pure and noble heart, the familiarity
of family love and home relations becomes
a play full tenderness that leaves no sting
and causes no heartache. But love is
often vain show, and instead of a bond
to hold the family together the very ten
derest of all home relations is viewed as
furnishing license for impoliteness and
neglect such as meme would dare to ap.
prosch stranger with, far less an init
mate. "Is it not my wife2 Is il not my
cbild2 Who shall dare dispute my right
to do what / will with my oWn2'
If the head of the family-its ruler
speaks unkindlY, it is because the bonds
that bind them together are his safeguard.
There is sense of security from exposure
in family pride, in part, but stronger than
all else is the knowledge of the womanly
love that seeks to hide all errors. The
wife or daughter, and sometimes sister, are
often SPOKEN to by the gentleman" of the
house as he would not dare to speak to any
other woman, however Insignificant. But
more particularly is this brute sense of
OWE ersbip manifested TO his wife. A
brother finds no particular pleasure In talk.
ing sharp or domIneering over his sister,
He is we'll aware she may resent it,. and re-
tort even more sharply than he addressed
her. For a daughter, a father, unless
lost to all sense of shame, has
usually q peculiar tenderness by
which che escapes much of the OPP
preston that other members Of the family
are exposed to. The restraints of society
often prove stronger protection to the