The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1888-08-02
alanitomof pilot.
THURSDAY, AUGUST
WIT AND HUMOR.

A man who doesn't know anything Is
sure to tell it the first chance he gets
Shoe and Leather Rep0rter.
When a man in a barroom talks loud
and says he is gentleman, no other
testimony is needed.-NeU Orleans
Picay41ae.
''Fetter the prisonerm commanded
the officer 1T is the irony of fate,
murmured the culprit.- Pitts6urg
Chronicle.
The hardest of all church debts to
get rid of is the spiritual mortgage
held by some powerful predecessor
SyrGc1tse Christian AdCOcate.
Schiller, before composing, always
put his feet in cold water. A good
many more modern writers ought to
put their heads in.-Brlingto1e Free
Press.
Gilded youth want some pants,
Mr.. TigLtfit. Have you anything in
checks?" Tailor thinking of an ac-
count oyerdue)-"Yes; have youP"-
huge.
Chicago little Mamma, is my
new papa an editor?" Chicago mann |
ma-"Yes. Gertrude" Chicago little |
girl" Mamma, has he come to stay?"
Judge.
Politics may take a little and obscure
man and make him big. 1t has been
known to take big man, step on him,
and leave him small.-NelG Orleans
PScayat11e.
A mans reputation for wisdom does
not depend one-half so much upon his
knowledge as it does upon the skill he
has acquired for concealing his ignor-
| ance.-.S 0nerCiile JOurnai.
Magistrate Ito prisoner)-I see that
you lost several teeth in the fight.
Prisoner-No, your Honor, didn't ex-
| actly lose EN-: they were knocked down
| my throat.-NelC YORK. San.
First cabby-Them blokes at the
court house don't seem to be gittin'
along fast tryin' that Doodle Alderman.
Second cabbee-Mebbee they've been
| paid by the hour-Ierds SytingS.
Surprised damc-What? And you
have refused Mr.. DeGoode? l thought
YOU liked him. Lovely daughter-I
did, but none of the other girls seemed
to care a snap for him omaha World.
Observant youth-Mother, l guess l
was on the oldest street in the city to-
| day. Mother-What makes you think
so? Obseryant youth-Because they
called it Chestnut. '-L0lCeU Citizen.
An exchange says that there is
| something about Strawberries to make
one happy" 1t would be good advice,
then, to recommend a man to $50,
berry thy sorrow. II IonbcrS States
man.
New Minister (who doesn't know
that the late lamented died of dynam-
| itel And did your husband die in
peace, Mrs Bently?" Mrs. Bently
| with a sob): Mo, sir; he died in
| pieces. n-Epoch.
GEORGE she said, at the races,
'what is meant by Il true lover of horse
racing?" "A true lover of horse rae
ing explained George, lis the man
| who can catch a ten-to-one chance. y
NeJ0 York SIM.
| 1t is now that the denizen of the city
| leaves his cool city home and seeks an
| opportunity to rusticate where he can
| communicate with nature-through his
| Interpreter black flies and mosquitoes.
-AuguStu (Ec.) J0urnai.
He-Why, it is growing quite dark!
/ You can hardly distinguish the people
ut the hotel. Shc-And rather cool. |
| ought TO have something around me-
| He (with a familiar movement of the
| arm)-Ihat,s so.-Lye.
Anxious father-Iou are of are now,
| and | want to give you little pointed
| advice as to how to keep money. You
4 Of foo I1,,+ a
| it be proper to first advise me how to
| get it?- HarpCr'S 4Haga@ine.
| by the bye, | wish YOU would get
| me card for the Duchess of Beau
| morriss' dance IN try. But you'll
have to get q costume from her. or
| bonnet, or something, as she only
| asks her customers. "--LO53d0n Punch.
You women are the greatestr ex-
| claimed Fogg. You'll tramp all over
| town just for samples to make crazy
quilt" Yes" replied Mrs. f., quietly,
| ''and the samples the men gather
| through the day make a crazy-head."
Boston Transcript
do YOU realize the state YOU are
| imp said Mrs. Blood as the tired Col
| onel seated himself and tried to draw
his boots off. .'Shert' My m DEAR" re-
| sponded the Colonel, ''any one wis
half an (hic) eve could shee I'm in
Shtate of kentucky."-Epoch.
Mrs. Weeply-O, Henry, Henry,
| what would You think if l should come
reeling home three nights in the week
like You do? Mr.. W.-Hic) Wy, m
| love, I'd (hic) think you must be get
| tin y liquor CHEZ same placesh y'r
husban' doesh.- Washington Critic.
A sweet girl graduate" wrote her
essay in two hours, but she has en-
ployed six days on her graduating
dress, and it is not finished yet. And
who can blame her? The graduating
dress receives much more criticism
than the graduating essay.-No,ristotc11
Herald.
See here, my friend" said farmer
to tramp, you've been lynn in the
| shade of that fence for over thirteen
hours. Amt it bout time to move on?n
If you say so,n replied the tramp,
struggling to his feet, Il s'pose it is.
I'm only tryin' to make my shoes last
rs long as possible. Time.
She had promised to be a sister to
| MN. lie thanked her coldIy, but said
that he already had five sisters. ..Why
Mr.. Sampson said the girl, Il thought
you were an only child" Il am, he
responded; Il mean that l have five
| sisters snch as you offer to be-" and he
trotted to the door.-Netc York sun.
1t is stated that the cost of making
| converts to Christianity in Chicago av-
| erages S594.235 per convert. In adj
dition to this there is the expense for
| constant and necessary repairs. 50
when you come in contact with Chi
| cago Christian YOU want to handle him
rs you would Il peachblow vase Time.
Dennis. why don't you striker
AN PLAT should do that for?" THE
works too hard for the pay you get.
The idea of going up that ladder all