The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1888-02-10

OF Ages, Jesus, Lover OF My Soul, )"
and others OF a pronounced spiritual cast.
This greatly astonished the guards. They
were given strict charge to watch us
closely, with the statement that we were
the most desperate characters in the whole
United States; then TO hear us sing Meth
odist hymns, and to know that we had
prayers, morning and evening, was con.
tradiction they found 1t hard to reconcile
Soon the story of the heroic death of our
comrades and our own religious bearing
was noised about Atlanta, and no doubt
there were many expressions which gave
some ground for the bitter complaint of
sympathy" made afterward by the pro-
lost marshal in his report. But we cared
comparatively little for this, of which, in
deed, we then knew nothing. We had
never expected to receive much help from
the people outside, and would not have
dared, for fear of treachery, to accept it If
offered. But we wished to find that
peace in believing that we had heard of
Christians possessing. What would we
not now have given for the counsels and
assistance of a minister we could fully
trustl
1t Is delicate matter to speak Of the
beginning Of ones own religious life-to
say neither too much nor too little; but in
the hope Of guiding some other who is
feeling after the truth, / will venture,
using the light that twenty-five years
have thrown back on those early days.
After tlA terrible 18th of June / am
not conscious Of any experience Of re-
lgious character for several days, except
profound and burning conviction that it
Is folly to wait for death before trying to
be right with God. l might be sinful or
wicked again, but the idea that the great
business of life may safely be left to the
last could influence me no morei Just
how to be religious was Il puzzle. knew
IL l had q command to execute from an
army officer would do it, IL in my power,
no matter how difficult or dangerous; and
wished intensely that it was just as easy
to be religious as to be a soldier. But
there was the question Of right feelings
md right motives that did not seem to
come into play very much in the army;
for IL soldier did his duty, he was not
apt to be asked how he felt about it, had
the belief that must have joy and rap
ture in thinking Of death, q readiness to
shout Gods praises which did not feel;
and for time it seemed as il could never
reach genuine conversion. l diligently
read the Bible which we had borrowed,
but while 1 enjoyed many things in it,
little direct guidance for me was found.
asked counsel of Capt. Fry, for whom
had the greatest esteem and respect.
But it was so easy for him to believe that
1 thought his case must be very unlike my
own. also spoke to j. r. Porter, the
only one of our number who had clear
religious faith, and seemed to be happy in
it His first answer was very striking. j
aol- al hnu haf oil tah 1ooth 10
that referred to our worldly prospects,
and answered that probably we would
soon all be put to death "But what is
your feeling about death itself?' con
tinued. He said:
81 am not afraid to die, if it is Gods
will; / trust him now, and 1 expect to
trust him to the last" He took my hand,
and there was steady light in his eye
that made me believe every word he said.
But when asked him how he got such O
faith he could only tell me that he went TO
Methodist "mourners' bench" two years
before and sought till lie found it. This
did me no good, for there was no such
place accessible here.
In sore perplexity read the Bible from
day to day and prayed, taking my turn in
praying aloud and reading with the
others. AT length thought / began to
see that trusting Christ meant something
like taking his words and teachings for
my guide, trying to do all that he cum
mands, and leaving the result, while did
this, with him. This was not that sud-
den transformation that had hoped, but
soon found that it opened up good many
things that had never dreamed of. One
of these seemed especially strange under
the circumstances. Ihad yet but slender
hope of ever escaping from the prison ex-
cept by the way Of the scaffold. But in
spite of the dark prospect the question
came as an absolute test of my obedience,
"Win you, if satisfied that it is Gods
will, be ready to give up the profession of
law IL you ever get home and 60 into the
ministryY' The first and spontaneous re-
ply was, "Nor' l had studied law and
meant to practice it il ever got where
aw rcigned But at once the self re-
Spouse was clear, "What kind of
obedience is thiss' / saw that ]
was not sincere in proposing to enlist
under Christ as my captain, unless
/ would really obey him. 1t would be q
poor allegiance that stopped short with
the things wanted to do. For long
time / could not pass this point. The
difficulty when communicated to my
prison companions seemed utterly absurd.
"Try to serve God in the prison, where
You are, they said with rough plausi-
bility, land don't bother about preaching,
being a lawyer, or anything else, when
you get out, for you never will get out"
This seemed good advice, but it would
not bring serene mind or the victory
over the fear of death which so much
desired. One after another of those in
the prison found the comfort lacked;
and it was not till wearied and worn out
with the struggle that l vowed If God
would only give me his peace, would
serve him as sincerely In the prison or out
Of it as had tried to serve my country,
and In any way that he might direct.
Obi that this vow had been always moro
kept
From this time I did have a steady con.
viction that was on the Lords side, and
that had right to commit myself and
my life to his keeping. The prison did
not prove n palace; its discomforts were
still felt keenly, and the prospect of death
by the gallows did not appear more invit-
Ing. would not have been the less ready
10 make any desperate venture for escape;
but had hope which went beyond the
prison and the scaffold-beyond any con-
tingency of earthly fortune, while It did