Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1888-05-10

"mny 40 yoI wam SO, george: IN
quired Mrs. Saygood. Because"
groaned George, have run the point
of nail into my foot" "Well,D she
said. softly, "never mind, | have seen
you run the pint OF an ale into your
neck and look up for more without
catching your breath"
81 hear that Gen. Lightfoot is going
to run for governor, said the Judge.
"Glad he's going to run for some
thing" said the major, with feeling,
"he ran from everything all through
the war"
Perfect unison in purpose and desire
is beautiful thing between parent
and child. To iIlustrate "Then Al
degitha, you will be miner" yes,
Ferdinand. if pa is willing. | always
do what he wants me to-" "But will
he give his consent2' "IIe WILL" Pa
always does what want him to-"
I'VE have heard great deal about
the reckless extray agance of the far
west" says The Chicago Times, "but
we cannot 90 quiteso lar rs to believe
the yarn that there is q hotel in
Deadwood where they change the nap
kins every time they change propri.
eUors."
He-"But amt you afraid your par
ents will be angry il we get married -
She-"No, they won't care. Why,
they are married, too. The Colonel.
Some wags were walking around an
agricultural implement store, and
they CHANGED to see in the rear a
dressed hog hanging by hook in the
wall. What sort of an agricultural
implement do you call tbat2' they
asked. THAT is a patent combined
root-grubber, corn-sheller, apple-erind-
er, gate.fitter. double action, back.
spring sod-plougb; but ! guess YOU
won't want one, for it takes a mighty
smart man to manage il"
Room for improvement: Minister
"And do you expect to ba a lawyer
when you grow up like your father
Bobby" Bobby-"Yes. sir; / expec,
to be a lawyer, but ma hopes | won't
be one like pa"
Edwin suddenly, after a Tong pausel
Darling" Angelina; eyes, darling,
Edwin: Nothing. darling. ONLY
darling, darling" Bilious old gentle
man teels quite sick.-London Punch
Mr.. Epson Downes tseated by :
stranger in carl: "What time is it by
your watch, if you please?" Stranger
81 don't know" Mr.. Epson Downes
"But you just look at it2" Stranger.
Eyes; | only wanted TO see if it was
still there"
Energetic Mother-"Y should ar
your best to impress Mr.. Featherlv
Clara; he is awfully rich and very
very good. Clara-'I know that
mother; but he is too good. / hat,
good men" Mother-''Yes; but think
my dear. The good die Young ,
Clara promises to consider the matter
Life.
The temperate zone is so called he
cause in summer it is so hot that
man can exist only by sitting in II.
water, and in winter it is so cold that I;
he happens to touch silver dollar h,
freezes to Huntington Free Press
A lew years ago girl fresh from tn,
West Highlands came on a visit to :
sister she had residing in GLASGOW
At the outskirts of the town she ston
ped at q tollbar and began to rar
sharply with her knuckles on the oat =
The keeper amused at the little grip,
action, and curious to know wha,
she wanted, came out, when she YER,
demurely Intercepted him as ioIlows
in?" egey
A.Connecticut girl has refused 10 he
eourted by ayoung editor because \,
oelonss only TO the weekly press =.
soeissson.-Nsw Havsn News, =