Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1888-06-01

the blossoms all comm out at once
and somehow or other they always
make me think of brides and grooms
and weddings. Then the robins are
buildin' nests by the hundreds, you
might say, but l don't know but thai
| got the first idee from Shake
speare."
Jake Spear, and what business is
it of Jake Spear, whether you get
married or not? If there is anything
in this world l hate, it's man that
don't know his own mind, and is
afraid even to sneeze without he gets
leave"
shakespeare isn't man." mildly
replied Uncle Jack, cor | suppose be
is too, either man or a woman, amt
quite sure which it is; but Shake
speare writ book I've been readin'
lately. and there was one piece struck
me calied-called'-he was about to
say, 1.-The Tanning of the Shrew,"-
called-well. it was kind of a story
of man who wanted wife, and was
determined to have her, and he got
her and she turned out first-class.
His name was Peter something. and
hers was Katherine Then there
was another fellow and when he got
married they called him 'Benedick,
the married man., and that's what
Pll be next week, by your leave, my
dear, ha! hal"
"For a man to want to be called
Benny or Dick, when his name is
Jack. is silly, and I'll give you fair
warning you need't expect any such
nonsense from me-"
"Just as you please, just as you
please" returned Uncle Jack, serene
ly. "As Shakespeare says, "A rose
by any other name will smell as
sweet But tell me what shall | do
to the house; inside | mean?'
Nothing al ALL" said Barbara II
will have no old women gossips pry-
ing around It's not likely to be
clean, but there'll not be dirt enough
to choke one before / can get it put
to rights"
"It's not so bad as you may think"
said Uncle Jack. "Debby kept it
spick-span clean, and I've tried not to
let it get much behind. But you
shall do what you like about it,"
Uncle Jack took his leave. He
met at his own gate his nearest
neighbor, Joshua Wilson, who often
came in to take a smoke with him.
walk right in Joshua" he said
blithely, "I'm glad of your compa-
ny"
Uncle Jack lighted the lamp, and
Joshua struck with his holiday attire,
asked if he'd been to funeral. Uncle
Jack roared
"If you'd said wedding, you'd
been warmer. The truth is, Josh, if
you wait till this day week you'll
find me settled down with wife,"
THAT'S startling" said Joshua, 81
was thi1kin' if you was going to keep
chickens you'd need to get married.
1t takes woman to tend to them.
But who's the lucky woman?"
Barbara Fury"
"Bab Fury! For the land sake !!
Why man, are you crazy? that can
tankerous old sarpint?"
"Hold on" said Uncle Jack, II
don't allow to have my wife called
names if 1 can help it,"
Now U ncle Jack, you know you
have no better friend in the world
than me, and | wouldn't be doin' my
duty if 1 didn't speak discouraging of
such a team as that. You might as
we'll yoke together lamb and tiger
for you know as we'll as 1 what she
is for temper"
Eyes, know; but I've got an idee
that we're goin' to suit, that is, after
we get used to one another"
II kinder enjoy" said Joshua, "a
good smart shower in summer time;
it freshens the arth and clears the air.
l get that kind at home from my
wife 1t comes hot and heavy, but
it's soon over; while a regular cold
northeasterly drizzle that gives you
crawls up your back, that's too warm
for fire and too cold without one, |
hate, and it there is anything that
will wear the life out of a man it is
an Internal scold. Think we'll, Un-
Gle Jack, and be thankful for little
warning"
"I'm not easy scared, Joshua; come
to see me this day three months, and
we'll compare notes"
Joshua Wilson was not the only
one in the village thunderstruck by
Uncle Jacks choice. He had calls
and friendly warnings by the dozen;
but to all be returned the same an.
swer, "that he expected to abide by
his choice"
The wedding came of at the time
appointed Barbara was escourted
into the house by the front door in
Jacks best manner.
Welcome home, my dear" he
said, giving her rousing kiss, to
which she responded, Don't be q
fool, Jack, but tell me where can
lay off my bonnet"
"Look at this first" said Jack,
opening the door of the little parlor
and pointing to an iced cake which
stood on the table, He had ordered
it from the city, and the two doves
billing on top had been his own sug-
nestion.
at was baked in the city. What
do you think of it?"
"Then you may know it is only fit
for the pigs. Made of stale eggs and
strong butter" and she walked up to
take off her things.
Uncle Jacks eyes twinkled.
"Not fit to eat; only good for the
pigs" he repeated. "Well, here goes!"
and raising up the cake he marched
out to the pig pen, and tossed it over
TO the pigs. Then he brought in the
plate, placed it on the table and sat
down to read his newspaper.
Barbara evidently found things
more to her mind up stairs than she
had expected There were piles of
soft blankets, comfortables, and bed
ding of the very best, while every
think was as clean as a new pin.
Seeing the plate, she asked, "What
did you do with the cake?"