The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-02-03
BRIGHT BITS.

SOME Of our contemporaries are remarking
that in Kansas there is post office named
Zero Well, what of it? That's nothing
LOloeH Courier.
As soon as the German Crown Prince was
gwen up by the doctors he began to grow
better This shows that the doctors can cure
man If they only go about It In the right way
Chicago Times.
AFTER THE DISyEa-Mtss Gotham-.what an
elegant menu they had"
Miss Chcago-Did they' Well, now, didn't
notice il. You see, was so busy sizing up the
bill of fare.--Lifc
"Do you know the pentleman?N asked San
Francisco lady of her little girl in reference to
the minister who making a pastoral call.
OF course do, " said the little dear. HE does
the hollering at our church. san francisco
Alta.
"DoEs your mother wear felt slippers:" asked
an old lady OF little boy where she was visit
ing.
''Ycs, ma'am. she do. I've felt EN-" an
swered the small boy, significantly Detroit
Free Press.
ONE day Ernest had been seriously lectured
by his mother and finally sent to the yard to
find a switch with which he was to be punished
He returned soon and said; Il couldn't find any
switch, mamma; here's a stone you can throw
at me.-Ra, per's.
AN enterprising clothier adycrtises guaran-
teeing wife to every man who buys suit of
clothes. This is no inducement at all What
would do for this country better would be
guarantee of suit of clothes to every man who
has wife.-LoHdoH It'd Bits
MY dear young lady" exclaimed a Mime
apOlis caller upon St Paul society belle, Il am
astonshed at your sentiments. You actually
make me Start-upOn my word you do
Well, sir" replied the damsel, I've been
waiting to start you for the last hour st.
Paul Netrs
DID you make enough money on your stock
TO Inv no ls.,rt or a.riot xynf,
promised? | suppose you did. thought she
added, confidently You said you put in your
money at the bottom of the market 80
did, my dear. 50 I did; but the bottom itself
dropped out "-CtjcdqO AuM
INouIRNG Child Mamma, Mrs Blnks calls
herself Mrs. john Thomas Blinks, and Mrs.
Ninks calls herself Mrs. Catherine Blank Minks.
Which is right,
Fashionable Samma-Both are right.
Yes. \ married lady retains her fathers
name if hc is a greater man than her husband
and takes her husbands name if he is greater
man than her father.-OmahG World.
~ HEAP," said a Boston woman to a rosy
spirited Western girl, that the society Of the
West is really very good now; SO that one need
no longer hesitate about living there on that
score
Yes, indeed" was the enthusiastic reply
our society is first class now. I've counted as
many as fifty and sixty diamond pins and real
Scalskins in one Sunday at our church. and
when it comes to a full dress display we amt
behind anybody. "-Detrot Free Press
DID you never think" asked the chaplain
did there never come to you conviction in
your sinful life of robbery, that you we're doing
wrOng?n
often there did boss. replied the burglar
half-pay, retired-'many time it has flashed
on me when was in the nursery, where the
first flash of ulls-eye would waken half
dozen bowling kids, when / ought to be in the
old mans bedroom a-s1nnin' his trousers and
goin' through the wardrobe and bureau draw
ers regular. Oh, yes, I've often felt as was
dom wrong ut"-apologetical!y-' that was
when was a green hand at the business, don't
you know Blrdette.