Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1888-04-03
SBDDEN.

Edwin (suddenly after long pause)-Dar-
ling!
Angelina-Yes, darlingl
Edwin-Nothing, darling. Only darling,
darlingl
Bilious old gentleman feels quite sick
London Punch.
"You think, then, that your husband no
longer loves you as formerly"
"AlasI I am sure of it."
"What proof have you?"
'What proof? Why, my dear friend when
he kisses me now he doesn't even disturb my
face powder. Paris Gaulois.
Very often, my son, it is the dread of pun
ishment rather than the punishment itself
that restraints us from evil doing. Many
times boy would gladly run away and go
fishing on Sunday if he could only get his
father to thrash him in the morning before
he sets out; then ne. could enjoy the whole
long day without a pang. But when he has
to wait until evening for it the dread of that
unknown i'll that awaits him clouds all his
skies and pitches all his songs in minor keys.
Burlington Hawkeye.
Bright Literary Prospects. Ito
young writer)-tWhat do you hear from the
Every Other Monthly Magazine, Charley, in
regard to your MS.2'' Young writer-"I 1t
came back to me day or two ago with
many thanks of the editors for my kindness
in giving them the privilege of seeing it.
editor, but the thanks of every one of them
on the magazine, and there may be a dozen
for all know. 1 tell you, Gus, that was a
great article and I'na going to send something
else in few days. s."-The Epoch.
'tI say, mister" he said to the bartender,
'wss the president of the whisky trust in
here?"
ga red-complected gentleman with blue
black crescent under one eyea"
"That's JIM"
eyes, sir; he said he was funnel-shaped
cloud from the great and growing West, and
when he began to storm I must nail things
down"
81 s'pose there was some dirty weather.
Where did Jim go after the storms"
"I heard him say something about going
to the doctors to have an ear sewed on."-
Life.
"Her majesty" writes London CORE
spendent, ''eats at state dinners without
gloves" The reason for that is at once ap-
parent 1t enables her majesty to get bet
| ter, grip on the wing of chicken. In wres-
| Ting with the common hen of commerce at
| the dinner table she must handle without
| gloves, Or the battle is lost. Gloves would
| also be very much in the way when her maj
l esty desired to catch an ear of corn by the
| end, the tip and the lobe, SO to speak, while
| she gnawsd at it amidships. You see, there
| are hundred emergencies that might arise
| during the progress OF STATE dinner wherein
gloves would be in the way.-Burlington
| Hawkeye.
| There's pious and ignorant farmer over
| in Virginia, who used to do little extra
| work at preaching; but he hasn't for several
| years now. On the occasion of his last ap-
pearance he selected for the Bible reading
Jobs description of the war horse, in which
occurs the passage: "He saith among the
| trumpets, ha, ha; and he smelleth the battle
afar off" The good man read along with in
creasing fervor and emphasis until he came
/ to this, and then he relied the sentence
| forth: ''He ssyeth among the trumpets.
| Hav. hay; and" But he never got any
further than that; for the people forgetting
the sanctity of the place, Uttered, and then
went into such laugh that the meeting
broke up in disorder, and the farmer quit the
l pulpit forever.-Washington Critic.
The Crow and the Farmers Dog.-An old
| Grow basksd in the wintry sunshine on the
bough of leafess tree just outside the
barnyard fence. With blinking eyes he
| watched the Farmers Dog at his dinner OF
| bones, and waited for chance to steal some
of the remains. The Dog raised his eyes
| "Be off p he cried. "What do you want in
the neighborhood of good and respectable
birds You are a vagrant and good-for-
nothing" 81 may not be very good" calm
ly replied the Crow, "but l have managed
to reach prosperous old age, which is more
| than can be said for the unfortunate and
worthy turkey whose bones you have just
| devoured. The truly good die young. A
| little worldly wisdom doesn't hurt US in the
| race of life" And hastily snatching up
| bone he vanished in the frosty air. This
| fable is not for the young.-Life.