News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1888-09-06

+
bing. "Tell, tell me ALL" the maiden
said, 'methought the future shining;
weep you for some loved one who's dead,
or why this sad repining? Your prom
lsed bride am, my dear, won by your
ways beguiling; then why this woe and
weeping here, when you should now be
sm1llng?" With iron hand, from off the
fence he pulled, in rage, picket; ''I'll
tel, he said, ''and then go hence-Ive
lost, love, my meal ticket. "-Ne5raska
State Journal.
BRoTHERLY AND sIsTERLY.
He reached for his cane and hat, and
said brokenly, "Good night, dear-er-
um, ah-sister."
"Good night, dear brother" replied
tue girl, sympathizingly, but hopelessly,
and thus they parted; but the new rela-
t1onship didn't last long Utica O5serrer
QUICKLY SIGNED.
Miss Ethel (of Boston)-I understand,
Clara, that young Mr. Mason, who was
very attentive to you last month, is en-
| gagged to Miss Rackitt of Philadelphia.
Miss Clara (of New York)-Yes; l re-
leased MIR. Mason on a Thursday, and,
do you know, it wasn't two days before
he had signed with that Philadelphia
girl.-Time.
TWO MEMS FATE.
Little Boy-Pop, is that the man
what's going to be hanged to day?
Pop-No, that's the man whose we'd
ding we are going to attend.
''He looks as if he was going to be
killed or something. What makes him
look so awful sad and scared, pop?
''He is to be married in church, with |
four hour reception afterward. ."-PAiI- |
adeLphi0 Record.
NOT UP WITH ARKANsAw.
He was tall young man with sun
burnt hair. 1t was his first meal at O |
city restaurant.
f'They call them little wooden splin-
ters toothpicks, do they?" was his CON |
temptuous comment, as he fingered |
something in his belt that appeared to
have n blade about eleven inches long: |
Old Arl;ansauv IN some thinHsI''- CHic- /;
DEAD HEADED.
A New York politician is so fond of |
being "dead-headed'' everywhere that |
when some of his friends were debating
how to get him to attend church, one of |
them said: "Charge an admission fee
and he'll be after a pass before break
fast. "-Sh0e and Leather Reporter.
LOOKING FOR AN EASY JOB.
Citizen-No, can give you no money.
[ don't like to encourage 1dleness.
Why don't you go to work
Tramp-It's easy to say that, but it
isn't so easy to get a job. I've been try
to get work all the year.
Citizen-What kind of a job have you
looked for?
Tramp-Winding up an eight-day
clock.-NebrashG Journal.
ANYTHING FOR A CHANGE.
Chicago Boy-What's the matter, sis
Little Sister-Nothin' only mammals
got that divorce frown again.
Chicago Boy-Well, I'm glad of it. l
don't like this papa very much myself.
AN ARTFUL DoDGER
A lady came out on the steps of
house on Dufield street and called
aloud in sweet, persuasive tones:
George, dearI''
There was no answer, and she looked
anxiously up and down the street and
again called, but in frmer voice:
"Georgie!"
Not a word. Taking in the entire
horizon with one sweeping, comprehens-
i've glance, she made a trumpet of her
hand and called shrill and sharp:
"George!"
Then a little pair of scurrying feet
came around the corner of the house,
accompanied by a round, innocent face
much stained with watermelon juice,
and sweet voice inquired:
"Did you call me, mammal"
BREAKING THE NEWS.
Percy Silverton (who has had his
h1ghly-valued though unpromising
moustache removeO-See, Julie, l have
had my moustache cut off!
Miss Julie Styles (his fancee)-Oh,
pshaw! why did you tell me2 [ wanted
to find it out myself !-Pucb.
IT WOULDN'T BE FAIR.
She was girl from Holly, New Jer
sey, and she had a mouth which attract
ed general attention. AS she leaned |
against the railing and watched the |
breakers she suddenly exclaimed:
"Oh James, but how grand Seems !
as if could open my mouth and take it
all in II"
"But you won't will you9'' entreated
a boy who stood by. ''Ma and [ have |
come 800 miles to see the ocean, and we !
don't want to lose it the very first day"
EASY.
Visitor-You take it easy, Brown. |
You must have good salary.
ya-as-prey well. l
draw three hundred a year-save, say q
hundred, and run into debt four hun
dred; that's eight hundred; and if a
bachelor can't live on that ought to be
ashamed of himself Pu1ch.
ADVICE TO THE MEETING.
At meeting i'll Brunswick Landing, |
below Nlcksburg, Miss, the other even
ing colored exhorter called out: "De |
fore part of de meetin' will please sit
down SO dat de hind part can see de fore
part, kase If de fore part persis in stand |
In to the utter sclusion of the hind part |
by de fore part, den de hind part can't
see de fore part. Brudler Brooks will
you please lead us i'll prarparation ?''-
Ptcksburg Herald.
GENTLENESS.
She had gently refused him, and rs he
turned to go, she said: 81 am very
sorry, Mr.. Arbuckle, but some day you
may learn to love one more worthy OF
you perhaps than [, and as you go to the
gate be careful of the dog"
Careful of the do-," he repeated bit
terly, and he crushed his hat down over
his eyes. eve been too careful of him
already. and If he crosses my path to