davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-11-30

GOVERNOR BEAVER AND THE INAUGURATION
Harrisburg, Penn, Nov. GA formal tender OF
the position OF Chief Marshal of the Inaugural parade
at Washington the 4ih Of March was made t. Gov.
crnOr Beaver today lie has not yet decided to accent
the proifcrcd GOnOr.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1888-12-16
Looking on the Dark Side.
ANan.d Constitution.

It is only when man is so constituted
that he worries over what he cannot help
that there is danger of self murder. This
kind Of worry has tendency to unbalance
mans mind, and then he is liable 10 do
ANYTHING. An intense, nervous man, with
a disp osition to look on the dark side of
life, will worry himself about anything
Sometimes it is business, again it is some
pet ohiect, or it may be some tritling thing.
Whether his suicide is preceded by dis
appointment, the loss of money, or some
small annoyance, the fact should be con-
sidered that he was from the first victim
of the worrying habit, and therefore on the
road to insanity.
When a man finds the habit of worry
growing upon him he should make Wig
orous effort to throw it eff Let hin cul-
tivate q philosophical indifference. He
will find that the best way 10 keep trouble
at distance is 10 90 through the world
with smile on his face. No great harm
will ever come to such a man. He may
never be very rich or successful, bat he
will always get along and live cut his al
lOtted time upon the earth. This msy not
te very bright prospect, but it is infn-
itely better than the fate in store for the
man who worries himself over everything
that goes wrong.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1888-12-16
Childhood's Ways.
CticGgJ Herald

every once in while am forcibIy
reminded Of the happy days OF my child
hood" said a man yesterday whose hair
was just being seasoned by the pepper-bo1
of time. "The youngsters up in my
neightorhood remind me when it is top
time and kite time and marble time,
and their pranks bring me to realize that
it is Halloween and April fools' day. /
often wish I was with them. The other
day q crowd of kids were grouped in one
end of q vacant lot on the corner a. was
passing, and they brought back old times
wildly to me. They were idly talking,
as if wishing for something exciting TO
turn up, when bright-sysd boy yelled
Last man over the fence Ii liar! With
that they all dashed wildly for the fence,
outst.ippipg the bright-eyed boy and
reaching the sidewalk. As they turned to
give him the laugh, he paused in the lot,
put his thumb TO his nose, twirled his fin
gers, and said: Yah, yah, l didn't 90
over at all.'
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1888-12-16

cur,su. Cas- Of ssrs Throat cssssa =
ths Habit.

-
Curious Cas- Of sers Threat 0enso1 -
the Habit.
Here is novel accident resulting non
. habit Of very common prevalence amoal
nervous people. A young lady ofNew
York complained OF a constant irritation
in her throat. Two weeks previously che
had bean taken with q very severe "sore
throat,n which was treated by Q neighbor'
ing physician. Under his care the infia.
nation quickly subsided, but there still
remained sensation Of irritation. Ex'
animation revealed q small, fieshy looking
object. about the size of kernel OF wheat,
adherent to the tissues posterior to the left
tsrsil by one end. The other parts OF the
throat we're normal. The little mass c)uid
not be detached By cotton-covered probe,
but by the use of forcsps it was eaaily re
moved, and on examination proved to be
piece of fipger-nail, which had become Gov
cred by a cheesY deposit. A broken piece
of the nail was also removed from under
the mucus membrane at the same spot by
a .hlp- pointed probe. The patient then
confessed the habit of biting her finger
nails, and, moreover, could remember that
day or two previous to the outset Of heE
throat trouble q piece Of nail which she
had bitten off had become lost in hel
mouth, but after it had caused q ut o.
coughing she bad forgotten about 1t unit
reminded by this discovery.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1888-12-16
Archimedes at the Lever.

Lamar, a., GtOOe.
We apologize for mistakes made in oil
former issues and say they were inexcusa-
BILE, as all an editor has to do is to hunt
news, and clean the rollers, and set type,
and sweep the floor, and pen short items,
and fold .era-s, and write wrappers, and
make the paste, aud mail the papers, and
talk to visitors, and distribute type, and
carry water, and saw wood, and read the
proofs, and correct the mistakes, and hunt
the shears to write editorials, and dodge
the bills and dun delirquents and take
cussings from the whole force, and tell
our subscribers that We need money. We
say that we've no business to make mis-
takes while attending to these little mat.
ters and getting cur living on gophertail
soup favored with imagination, and wear
ing old shoes and no collars, aud patch
on our pants, obliged to turn smiling
countenance 10 the man who tells Us our
paper isn't worth 81 anyhow, aud that be
could make better one with his eyes
shut,
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1888-12-16
IN vINCULo MATRIMoNII.

At the Minstrels-Mr. Faugle-"Wel',
that's the richest lot Of dry jokes l ever
heard"
Mrs. Fangle-"Is that the reason you
had to irrigate 80 often?"
A Lottery.-"I am opposed to all games
of chance" said Rswson.
"And yet you got married?" said Law
sou.
Eyes; and that's why am 50 strongly
opposed to EN-"
81 shall be dead at Just o'clock on the
afternoon of July Z, 1885, " predicted a
young man last January on the strength OF
a dream be had. On July 2 he married q
red-headei widow with two children, and
on July Z, at just 4 o'clock, he was-n OF
dead, but be wished he was.
She Was Not MeIcenary.-Mrs. Cumso
do you know Mrs. McCrackle?n
Mrs. Fangle-"Yea, indeed. shs's a
very merceusry woma9.n
Mrs. CumsO-"Why, I didn't think
that. I've heard her boss her children,
and she showed them no mercy at all"
Ruskin says a novel shouldn't stop short
Just when the couple marry. Why, bless
your innocent soul. Mr.. Ruskin, the novel
doesn't, of late years. There is generally
an eloFenent, or a divorce, or something
that way afterwsrd. TIE marriage takes
place in ths middle Of the book, aboui
three pages this side of the murder, and
one chapter after the suicide from jeal'
ousy.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1888-12-16
BRITISH ARMY DISCIPLINE.
Severe Punishment Not a Preventive Of
Crime.


Toronto Globe.
1t is not very long since the last soldier
who was logged in the British army dis
appeared from the streets of Toronto and
not few still remember with kindness the
whistler at the Plough" of other days.
The martinets of those olden times thought
tina. when Aogging for offences against dis
cipline was abolished discipline would dis
appear. They shook their wise old heads
and patiently waited till their prophecies
were fulfilled. But unfortunately for them
such prophecies were never fulfilled. The
discipline became better than ever, and the
morale Of the common soldier from that
day forward steadily rose. Other improve
men,s In the same direction have since
been made and with cOrrespoa6ingly en-
couraging results. The last change was
msda some two years ago. 1t was
,hen ordered that courts martial
should be summarily dealt with by
the officers of the corps or company to
which the offender belonged. The same
cutlery was raised. Discipline it was said,
would be ruined. Tae army would be-
come a mob? What ere the facts? Blythe
frs. report on the subject, issued week or
two ago. il appears that the number CT
courts martial held have already dimin-
ished fifteen ne. cent. But then it might
he said that the minor offences" had in
creased correspondipgly. Netting of the
kind. They, too, have diminished 10 per
cent.
II is also noticed that the character OF
the officers in particular regiments has
marvellous effect upon the men. In some
regiments, aud these the best IN the ser
vice, there is scarcely anything that can
be called crime. The few offences noticed
are mere boyish escapades than crime.
There are almost no attempts at desertion
or anything requiring more than rebuSe
or a few hours' confinement. In other re-
gimen's it is exactly the reverse-a great
many deserSions, ever recurring Court-mar'
tial, etc and with all this s,ernness the
general discipline is indefinitely worse.
WIN? Because the officers dent know
much of the prosperous management CT
human nature, and as consequence make
their men worse the more they try to make
them better What should I'll this seem
to prove? That reasonable treatment and
moderate sentences answer best in main
tanning order and preventing crime. In
well-appoirtsd end reasonably Differed
regiments black sheep are sooa noted and
got quit of, while the better class is put
upon its honor, and the esprit dW corps is
not only constantly maintained but raised
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1888-12-16
WHALE AS AN ARTICLE OF FOOD.
1t Was Popular Once and May be SO
Again.

1t Was Popular Once and May DO &c
| Again.
| F.rdfa1Rd Sscgsr IN Medical Classics.
There are obvious difficulties to over
come in the way of selling whale Ovel
the counter in fish-morger's shop. New
ertheless, we may yet see BITS Of whale De
irg thus purchased and carried away.
There was time in Merrie England
when whale with green peas was consider
ed delicacy. History, 1t IS SAID, rspest'
itself, and some of Us who now strut the
Stage of life may, ere we die, indulge II
the same feast. Salede de Balein, OIL
whales tail with aDchovy sauce, or sautt
aux fines herbe', will, prejict, at rC
very distant day, form the tid-5its OF swell
dinners, as tie Chinese dellcAcy OF shark q
| fms now are.
| Somebody in Boston newspaper recent
ly unclaimed that he had tried ea'lDe
whales flesh, and survived 10 tell listen
ing world all about it. Pehaps he thought
he was announcing something new under
the SUM-" Ifso' let Us convince him that
Boston culture and learning are once again
at fault. The e1ormus cetscean has, 1t
appears, been belied by those who declared
t0at he ate rank, and that he interteTed
with the digestive organs. Not oni y Is
"ghale" quite pilatable enough for hun
gry man TO make a meal of, but is highly
nutritious. Extract of whale is as nour-
ishing as extract o. beef, and, Of course, 1t
is mora economical.
In the fifteenth century the whale was
considerably brought into requlsltion Tor
gss.rononic purposes. 1t was found on
the Euglish royal table, as well as on that
of the Lord Mayor of London. The cooks
either roasted it, and served it up on the
spit, or boiled it, and sent it in with the
peas; the tongue and the tail were iav0rlte
parts.
In the works of that famous chirurgeOn,
Ambrose Pare 1879. he tells Us that:
Beng sent by King Charles IN. to
cure the Prince of BOche-Sur-You, was
an eie witness how they are caught; and
also confirmed that which 1 had formerly
read in that excellent and most true
historic of fishes set forth by
Rondeletius The fish is
Of no esteem; the tongue only is
commemorate; tor, being ve1is large and
of verie lax substance, it is powdered, and
by most gentlemen accounted for daintie.
The lard is disp rsel over many countries,
to bee boiled and eaten with fish during
the time of Lent, that gnurmandCzers may
have something to serve them in stead OF
flesh, which is then forbidden.
The fins that stand forth of their mouths,
which are commonly called whale bones,
being dried and polished, serve to make
busks for women"
The whsle is eaten by the natives of
Australia, New Zealand, the Japanese, by
various tribes of Northern Asia and Amer
lea, by the natives OF VaEcouver's Island
and the Esquimsux.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1888-12-16
A Noble Man.
CHICAGO Tribune

"Sealskins have gone up 40 per cent
observed the head salesman of leading
house. THAT is the advance on the sailed
skins in London. Naturally this increases
the duty to be paid, and will cause nearly
a so percent. advance here" =
what effect will that have on the de-
mand?'
None to speak Of. The women will wear
them o matter what they cost. And how
they will scheme to get them! have in
mind the wife of salesman In Wabash.
avenue book store. He is on q small
salary. She came in here In Sep
TENDER, ordered a garment, and paid 20
down. Then she came in every week
with SIS or Sc. One of the coolest days OF
last winter her husband came in to make
the final payment. TIE poor fellow had
no overcoat. His fscs was pinched and
farrowed. His nose was red and his hands
were blue and stiff His teeth chartered
don't believe he had on any undercloth-
ing. He paid me 81 so, mostly in dimes
and email coin, and carried away the seal
skins The next day suppose his wife
was swelling around in her new coat, the
envy of all her women friends, and her
poor husband was shivering through the
winter without an oSercoat. That's the
way come women get sealskirs."
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1888-12-16
THE FEMININE WAY.
The Difficulties Experienced by Woman
in Making Out a Money Order.
DrdEe's Magazine.

The Difficulties Experienced by q Woman
in Making Out a Money Order.
DraEs's Adoc=tHe
81 want to get money order" shesaid
thrusting her head through the window in
tended for hsr face alone.
Make out an application, then, " replied
the cle:k. you'll find the blanks On TIT
desk back of you"
what application? lust want to sent
SIS to"
"Fill out the blank" interrupted TIT
clerk, handing her one.
"I-I-will you please fill it out for me"
81 can't. It's sgsinst the rules. You mus
fill it out for yourself"
'Oh, dear me. l don't believe I can
What do you do frst?"
write the date"
"Where2"
"Oa the first line"
''There? On that liCe?"
"Yes-that's it."
sNow, let me zee, is this the 10th or the
11tb?"
1.-THE lob"
Il thought so, but wasn't sure. WhaI
do 1 write now"
'W1iteitbe amount to be sent"
sits SIS"
"Well, write it on the next blank line. y
"There?"
eyes"
How easy it is after all! Now what do
Ido?"
"Where is the money to be paid?"
"Oh, at Chicago"
"WelI, write Chicago after the words
Payable at.
"I-I-don't see any Payable"
There it is"
ooh, of course; how perfectly ridiculous
of me not to see it myself! Now what shall
put after State of?'"
"Why I Illinois to be sure"
"Of course! What goose am! Now,
let me see, what comes next?"
ITO whom are you sending the money!"
"Ob. to Mr.. John Smythe; that is, Pm
really sending it to Mrs. Smythe, who is
nv sister, but we thought it would be bet
ter TO send it in his name and save her the
trouble of going to the Office, and Of course
he can give it to her, as the money 's really
for sister; but if it makes any difference, l
suppose"
ut makes no difference Mt all.
81 didn't see why it should, really, and
I'm glad it don't, for sister isn't in good
health, and she might not be able to 60 to
the Office heTsalf, and"
Write Mr.. Sny the's name and address
on the line below"
ellis full name?"
"Yes-there are 50 many Smytbes."
"Joyeph NJ will do, won't it?"
"Yes, yes"
81 can write it y. Newman Smythe' if
you prefer. Newman is his middle name"
"'Joseph NJ will do"
ooh, will it? I'm sure I don't see why
it shouldn't. He's 30 well known, any.
how"
Now write your name and address on
the other lines as quickly as you can,
please, there are Others waiting"
It didn't take her but about twenty
minutes to do this, and ten more to ask If
Smythe will have to be identified, aud
when he'll get the money, and how she'll
krow he got it, and if the post0ttice is re-
sponsible if the money is lost, and if q reg
istered letter wouldn't have been as safe,
and 50 on in a way that only helpless and
suffering postal c'erks know anything
about.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1888-12-16

when she'd only been sitting there three
hours-and the poor, desr, blessed htils
angel
Henry with wsrm-will-tnrn sort Of
calmnese( We'll?
Mrs. Youugwifs Had walked up-'caEed
up, Say
HENRY (still calm)-Wbas Of it?
Mrs. Your wife remarkably near bys.
terics(-what of it? What Of iiS On;
When Lucius is father, Lucius never will
say "Wbat of it?'' when his wife tells him
-ah, haven't you any feelings? Lucius
would have. He, at least, will be pater-
nal, Lueius will! For Luciut-
Henry lin utter desperation )-Con-tOund
Lucius. A Tempest, with thunder ana
lightning. Curtain, quick as may be-
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1888-12-16
ALL ABOUT ALPHABETs.
Some That Have Two Hundred Letters
With No Two Alike.

With No Two Alike.
December 81. Nicholas.
Will my youngest American readers
my very youngest -please give me their
attention..
An, here you are! Well, my little ones,
as you very soon are to begin to learn your
letters, if, indeed, You are not already
learning them, it may interest you to know
that the babies of other countries, as well
as baby Americans, are expected to know
their alphabetJ at a very early age; and
some of them, because they have more let
tiers in their alphabeSs, hive even harder
time than you do. Some, again, have less
to learn. For instance, as O sp;ightly
and learned correspondent informs
this pulpit, the Sandwich leland
alphabet has only II letters; the
Burmese, 10; the Italian, 20; the Beugales,
81; the Hebrew, Syriac, Chaldee, Samari-
tan and Latin, % each; the French, %;
the Greek, "a; the German and Dutch, 26
each; the Spanish and Slavonic, % each.
But, on the other hand, the Arabic has %;
the Persian and Coptic, 80; the Georgian,
80; the Armenian, 3S; the Russian, 4l;tbe
Muscovite, 43; the Ssr sCrit end japanese,
so; the Ethiopic aud Tartaric, POP
If this information bewilders you, my
poor little letter-learnsrs, don't mind it.
II will keep One Of these days you will
be big and able to play tag, and, later on,
base bail in these languages. Then, few
letters, more or less, in any one of them,
will be a matter of small consequences to
you. Even now, l dare say, after what |
have told you, you'd be able TO play with
the letter blocks of any country. In truth,
if were you, think should prefer a
box of Ethiopic OF Tartaric letter-blocks
to begin with.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1888-12-16

veepipg. After wiping his eyes On his
handkerchief be proceeded to 90 up my
finger in the same. BE has very tender
heart"
knew Mr. BoWser was listening over
the banister, and SO malicicusly added:
sand, with little practice, will no
doubt, become the champion weepist of the
world"
He uttered q snort and growl and
went off 10 bed without word, bat next
morning he pat in an extra ten minutes
frolicking with the baby, and when ready
to 90 he sid to me:
"By the way, dear, you'd better 60 down
and pick you out a sealskin sack today. l
was going to get it for Christmas, but you
might as well wear it now.n
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1888-12-16
Why We Sink In OuIcksand.

Quicksand is composed chiefly Of small
particles of mica mixed largely with water.
The mica is so smooth that the fragments
slip upon each other with the greastest
facility, go that any heavy body which dis
places them will sink, and continue to sink
until solid bottom is reached. When par
tic!e1 Of sand are ragged and angular any
weight pressing on them will crowd them
together until they are compacted into a
solid mass. A sand composed of mica or
sandstone, when sufficiently mixed with
water, seems incapable of such consolida-
ton.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1888-12-16
4 Financial Deal,
Merchant TrdUeLer

ibid you tell the manager what I ask
ed you to-" askel a transforming actor,
who had struck hard luck, Of q fellow
sufferer.
Eyes, Everything"
"Te!l him l was tired Of this thing?"
Yes"
"Tell him I WAS going to quit right
here"
ayes. I carried your entire message.
The manager says be doesn't want you to
leave him, and he'll !aiEe your salary $40
week ifyou'il charge your mind"
Go back and tell him If he'll give me
50 cents of it in advance I'll stay.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1888-12-16
No. 1127.-Anagrams.

!. Some articles I'll buy" to-day
And for them sll pure cash III pay.
2. One hu7 is equal to feast,
But not if you're Rugged by beast,
s. You want distant place 10 see,
Why then, OF course, you'll look through me.
1. Some cannibals next fall you'll meet,
For tlOo ears Hl.R they like TO eat.
5. This beast of burden. SOW Of pace,
Is only good for shoTt rcc..
YoUSG one.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1888-12-16

PHONETIC.
Alas! alas! What shall do?
Far too many oas / tlV0;
With gloomy clouds my sky's DER cast,
For New Years Day is coming fast;
Over the total hate to skip;
And Cansda's too cold q trip;
If remain.-sad situationl-
I'm sure to lose my reputation.
One thing I've gained, hard work to earn II,
A lesson learned, tho hard TO learn II;
Ifo'er this crisis safe I'm tided
On other course am decided;
No more I'll buy for fashions sake:
And only needful debts will make;
Never again I'll try TO borrow,
It only brings regret and sorrow.
N. C. WooDFoRp.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1888-12-16

The Foibles OF human Nature'
Ne,O York Euenin9 Sun.
The bcokkeepsr Of Wall street bank, q
man deeply versed in psychology, employs
his spare time in making practical tests Of
his researches. There is humorous vein
in his composition, and these tests are fire.
queDtly of a Imaginable nature. He is q
firm believer in the theory that man mag.
mites his own little troubles, and will un-
cons c;o usly put himself out CT his way to
avoid things that have no existence in
point of fact. The other day this philoso-
pher carefully placed sheet Of blotting
paper on the edge of desk in such a way
that half the sheet hupg ever. The desk
was in narrow passage that was much
used by the clerks, and the philosopher
had no end Of fun in watching them pass.
Instead of showing the blottipg pspar ont
of tie way, every clerk who passed would
squeeze himself sgainst the wall to avoid
knocking it down. The fat clerks had a
hard time of il, and one of them cricked
his spinal column in particularly fine ac'
rob3tic feat.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1888-12-16
No. l132-An Enigma.

A hundred and fifty and zero TO follow,
A hundred again, and the tail of duck
Keeps time with the world, tho the world may
prove hollow,
And metes out our lives, while It recks not our
luck.
II gets out of order. as all things are prone to.
It's all repetition (Which none of US own toO
And once IN while IS laid up for repairs.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1888-12-16

"a q. II 1|.|< !. = ] :. q,
viih u y y q -
clutchirgyousthroat N rsspgtke nfkAru,aS
hom Yen tiehtsnsa 80 AAn you no,se.s
he ispeucr ana dsbCils that neosed h En-
% dear your throat and head q this catarrhal
mstteri Whist dePtyndnG inAunes Il eTSS
upon the mind, cloudine TIE memcsy md an.
inr the head with pains and strange n6isesl Ho-
difeult Il = to nd the nasal pa1aees throat ~
lunes OF this poisonous mucous al can testify w
IRE sfiicted with cAtanh. How dificult % pcn.
tect the system against ftz further progreGs "a.
Wsrds the lungs, liver and kidneyS all phyT.
cians VIII admit Il y terrible disease, ~
criee out for relief and cure
The remarkable curative poweri, when an
other remedies utterly fail, Of SaAfsras RaiIs.i
CIre. are attested by thousands who gratetulIy
recotnmend Il 70 fellow-Euffererh No statement
n made regarding Il that cannot be ubstanti.
ated By the most respectable and reliable refer.
Each packet contains one bottle Of the Rslic,,
Care, one box Of Catarrhal Solvent, and Al In.
proved Inhaler, with treatise and directions ana
IS sold BY all druggists for s1.oo
sAsFoRD's RADICAL cuRs consists Of one bot.
lie of the RADICAL CURE, one box CATLRRRIi
SOLVENT, and one hIPAovKD INHllIR, neaty
wrapped In one package, with gf1d directioai;
PorrKs DRrs & cHKx1clL Co., BOSTON.