News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1888-11-22
CARL DUNDER.
He has Decided Not to Become a
Great Man.

"Shildrens, let me told you some
things. L vhas an oldt mans, unG /
knows peter ash you. If you want to
haf some fun und be happy, doan' you
try to be great. doan' pellet dot vhay
when l vhas poy, und so l lay oop
sorrow for myself.
"You haf all heard of Napoleon Bona
parte. He vhas great sheneral. He
can lick all Europe NIT one hand tied
pehind his back. He vhas der greatest
man for hundred years. Some people
vhas so afraid of him dot dey shump in
der river, und some like him so dot dey
sit up nights to hurrah. Maybe dot
looks awfully nice to you, but how vhas
she. Dot Bonaparto can nefer go in a
tobacco store und play sheckers NIT a
fireman. He doan' hat no time to go on
q picnic. He nefer sees game of base
ball Ho doan' haf some fun NIT der
to plan some fights und knock eaferpody
into der middle of two weeks ago. Take
him for ten years und he doan' laugh
once. He vhas great, but does dot pay ?
Where vhas der fun-der benefts2
"Some poys cry because dey vhas not
Sheorge Washington. Maybe it looks
awful nice to be President und q shen-
eral, und to swell around und boss
eaferybody, und to haf your name in der
papers, but you hold on. Do you pellet
Sheorge Washington eafer haf some fun
NIT der poys9 Does he eafer steal
some apples, carry off somepody's gate,
or hook sugar from der pantry, and no.
pody dares slap him an der back und
call him oldt mans, und nopody dares
ask him to ship his ticket. He must
shust be q big gun und keep quiet und
comb his hair fife times a tay.
"Maype some of der little gals vas
mad because dey won't nefer be Queen
of Spain. A queen has nice dresses, und
she can haf some quails on toast eafery
day, und if she says she wants this or
that she can haf him. When she rides
out eaferypody shmiles, und bows, und
cheers, und if she was seek der papers
come out eafery hour. Dot looks nice,
but hold on little while. If you vhas
queen you can't play tag nit der poys,
you can't eat some peanuts nor chew
gum, you can't put on an old dress nor
wear some old shoes, und if you go to a
picnic you can't eaten fall oafen a log
and skin your nose. How it would look
for queen to stand out by her gate und
gossip with Mrs. Blank about dot new
neighbor and her nine cats! If her hus-
band comes home late she can't soy one
word, und if she goes by der kitchen der
hired girls bounce her out. She must
sit oop very straight, und look very
solemn, and if she looks out der window
und poy falls down she can't eaten
shmile. If you want some comforts in
dis world doan' you lie some queens.
81 shust like to be as am und like I
vhas. If some man calls at my house he
takes off his hat und says my wife vhas
looking peter ash she vhas, und dot we
yhas hating sooch bad weather as he
nefer sees pefore. When man comes
in my place OF peesness he says: Hello!
Dunder, vhas he cold enough for her
How vhas your left lung to-day, any
how 1 can laugh at him, or l can poke
him in der ribs, or | can tell him to go
by Halifax. Dot makes me happy, und
/ grow fat some more. If L vhas sooch
a great man dot / haf to hold my legs
stiff ms crowbars und my back bone like
gate post, und say UNI und hat unel
go py der barber once day, l vhas so
seek und tired dot run away from my
self. When 1 vhas who 1 vhas L can
wake oop in der morning und box
Shakes ears, keell my dog out doors,
shmile on my wife, und go down town,
und feel dot like to stay in Detroit ten
hoonered years. Detroit Free Press.