Waterbury evening Democrat., 1888-03-09
BEING AGREEABLE.
FIRST RULE IN WRITING A CODE
 OF GOOD MANNERS.

Give Your Whole Attention to Whoever to Form-An Unspoken Compliment. Example.
 Our little village has been full of strangers lately, and friend and Istarted off the other day to make round of morning calls At our first stopping place, a young lady, with fair sweet face lighted by the brightest and bonniesI of blue eyes, was brought in to see us. 1 was delighted when she took seat near me, and turned with considerable vigor t., open the conversation. She met my ad- yances languidly, looked down at the em- broidered initial of her handkerchief, or studied my card case, or, worst of all, seemed distracted by the group at the other end of the room. My indignation rose steadily, and as soon as politeness allowed, made my bow and said "Good morning."
 IN HIGH GOOD HUMoR
 Two or three more visits brought us to a house where there was another strange girl The guest fell to my share again. Drawing her chair toward me with a friendly little hitch, she seemed to forget that there was any one else in the room, and gave me (not my clothes) her undivided attention as long as we stayed. It was refreshing, and went off on my rounds again in high good humor. She was not nearly so pretty as the other girl but soon found that was not the only one whose heart she had completely cap tivated. ~-
 Perhaps in writing code of good manners this rule should be put first: Give your whole attention to whoever may be talking to you l once heard little child say of famous belle, ''Oh, she's awful nice! She loves to hear about my dollies." There it is We like the people who like us, who are inter- ested in our pet project, or, at any rate, will listen to our rhapsodies over it-really listen
 l do not think a pretense of attention is ever safe. It may be the merest common place that is doled out to you; but fix your mind on it, and besides saving your com panion the chagrin of finding himself un- needed, you form most useful habit. Many persons miss a large part of the sermons and lectures they attend, simply because they are unused to concentrate their thoughts. When laugh runs round the audience at some sly hit of the speaker, or burst of applause greets his flash of eloquence, these listless friends of ours are reused to nudge their neighbors and whisper, "What was that9'
 GIVING HONEST ATTENTION.
 Then there is scarcely anybody lis there a single personO who, in his best vein, cannot
 
 surer way of bringing out his best than by this unspoken compliment of honest atten- tion. The most of us are probably not so overstocked with information as not to won- der little at that assertion which Carlyle made after spending months in London: Do nc find single creature that has communi- cated an idea to me-" In lesser mortals we could easily say whose fault that had been; but we must not meddle with the judgments of the great Mir. Carlyle,
 know young man, ugly, awkward, and with absolutely none of the so called 'small talk" A most unpromising subject for ladies' man, and yet this IS the opinion given of him by a befrizzled beflounced, bright eyed young miss, who has half the boys of the village running after her:
 s'Do you know MT. McDean7 Isn't he lovely9 Tremendously learned, you know, but not the least bit 'scary.' Actually lis tened to every word poor little I said, and seemed to expect me to talk sense. felt dreadfully funny talking about books and that, but it was awfully entertaining I be- gin to think have one or two ideas, really" -"Sajum Sarjum" in Demorest's Monthly.