The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1888-05-10
M0USER'S SAWBUCK.
A Man Who Wanted Exercise and
Got It.
[Adapted from The German Jy Mrs Miles H. Nc
AGaaTd.l

AGmaral
Mr. Mouser and lis merry little wife occu-
pied a charming cottage in the suburbs of
large city in the "Eatherland." His business
connections were of such nature that he was
usually at leisure after 4 o'clock in the after
noon.
Mr. Mouser prided himself on being man
of originality and brains. Mr. Mouser also
liked a little joke-at other peoples expense.
1t was Autumn. Mr.. Mouser had just laid
in goodly supply Of Winter fuel. Wood was
chiefly used for this purpose in the land Of Mr..
Mouser's birth.
Sitting by the window of his cosy living
room enjoying royal smoke from the long
stemmed porcelain pipe, Mr.. Mouser watched
the wood-sawyer plying his trade, made easy
| by long habit of handling wood and saw. As
Mr.. Mouser gazed and pondered an idea crept
into his head. 1t was grasped-as ideas quickly
became captive there
"Lizbeth," said he to his wife, Z" it is singu-
lar | never thought of it before-I generally
think Of such things-but it strikes me that l
could saw that wood myself"
Gracious what en- idea !"
"a bright one, isn't it? big saving tool
Just see with what ease it is done-the man
cuts through the sticks as if he were sieing
bread and butter; besides, I require more ex-
ercise; my health is not what it has been'
my dear, do you feel ill.,"
"N-no but a man needs to exert himself if
he does not wish 10 run down in muscular
| power. My habits are too confirming; a sense
of this fact has been growing on me lately. But
I have solved the mystery while watching that
man play on his saw-iack."
merry twinkle OF the eyes and a laudable
endeavor to maintain q serious expression
would have convinced the beholder that Liz
beth also had ideas but like a properly re-
| spectful wife she kept them to herself until
called for.
"Do you think, Lizbeth, that little gentle
muscular activity Is what I need to stimulate
appetite?o.
! tiresome work than wOod-saWing," replied Mrs.
Mouser.
Oh, you underrate my capacities, my dear.
And saving wood is not such hard work. Come
and see how simple it is done yet how every
muscle is brought into play. | am enchanted
with my idea, and shall carry it out. The man
can finish this job. but it shall be the last ever
pay for. What think you of it, wife?"
Well" laughed the lady, demurely,
think we shall be obliged to live on cold vctuals
and wear blankets TO keep from freezing. But
seriously, dear, you had better consider what
hard labor you are planning for yourself. III
were you / would experiment on few cord
sticks and assure myself that it is as easy as it
looks"
"Thats just like woman!" retorted Nous
err, disdainfully; she never does anything
heroicaly; she IS totally incompetent in mat
tiers of physical calculation. Now, / can see
just as we'll as if ! had stood over that mans
saw-jack for an hour. the amount Of force re-
/ quired to drive a saw through a stick of cord
wood. And / declare to you here and now
that ! am goiug to 10 the next load myself.
| 1t is play; nothing bat play.
! Lizbeth laughed 50 tantalizingly that Mr..
| Mouser turned upon her in a furry Of indigna-
| ton, saying:
You seem to have your doubts, madam /"
"Seeing is believing, sir!"
Well you shall see. You ought to know by
/ this time that | am q man with mind of my
| own. and when | say | am going to do thing
| do it, Please bear this in your shallow mem
| tality, Mrs. Mouser, that l. your husband, am
determined to never more pay 81 for wood
saWyer's hire"
d / am afraid / shall have to do little of the
wood-sawing myself, then, grayely murmured
Mrs. M0user
| Mr.. Mouser meant BUSINESS. He at once or
dered the very best kind of new saw-iack
| made. He purchased splendid saw with sharp
teeth aud light fire.. He pranced about,
happy as schoolboy, gith dabs of yellow and
| green paint spattered all over his person, until
finally the saw frame suited him in its bright
| yellow coat. The saw.jack he painted lovely
/ light green.
Daily he promenaded mpatiently around the
sbc4S AncGS inc WOOL va sbOE6ig anu BFu!lDtcu
/ because the fuel lasted so unusually long. At
! intervals he added another coat of green paint
! to the highly-decorated saw jack {" sawbuck
! il is called sometimes) and babe all his ac-
/ quaintances and friends come aud inspect his
! patent calistheuic toys until every one for
miles around became familiar with Mr. Mouser's
| green saving jack.
At last the longed-for day arrived. A big
| load Of fine hickory bad been piled up IN close
! proximity to the tools of defamation.
Mr.. MOuser was all excitement. He passed
/ by his amused wife with important disdain and
scarcely gave himself time to devour his din
ner, he was so eager to be at work.
Nothing more, thanks" he replied as his
wife wished to replenish his cup. Rising. he
FASTENED to handle his pets with an ardor that
| caused Lizbeth to smile knowingly as she
watched him pick out the very smallest and
most slender cordsticl1s.
This was a great mistake on Mr.. Mouser's
| part. He should have tackled the difficult ones
| first on the simple but fruitful theory that
custom would have sweetened his toll with the
balm of greater ease.
My how the saw rented and the abbreviated
sticks tumbled to tie ground Still Lizbeth,
who was peeping wish Understanding eyes
noticed that at the third cordstick work seemed
to slacken just lttle, but seven were finished
and Mr. Moaser came in, declaring he felt
glorious.
The second day NJ. Mouser remained at table
tride longer. -Four cordsticks in broken
| lengths licked the dast however.
Third day-Mr. M0user took time to glance
over the daily news after dinner Record :
| Three cordsticks
Lizbeth," said he, 81 think I've been cheat
ed in the saw-jack. 1t is not put together on
as practical a plan as l was led to believe. 1t
wrgges."
Fourth day-Mr. Houser toyed over his din
ner extensively. liz smoked his pipe and read
the paper. He glanced over his monthly maya
zine until dark, anu then started up, exclaim-
! ing:
Mercy how short the days are!"
Mrs. Mouser enjoyed the situation intensely,
but never said word.
Fifth day-Mr. Nouser rose with sense of
injustice resting apon him. All day he was
haunted by the out ageous fate that made him
the owner of saw.ng,jack.
My dear, we require more wood than usual
| to-day and tomorrow, washing and ironing
days you know, said Mrs. Mouser as soon as
he got home.
Il never saw anything like the way you
women manage e. consume fuel +" and Mr.
Mouser grabbed his hat and strobe angrily to-
ward the woodpiIe. A few sticks fell before the
savage manipulation of the saw, while Mr..
Mouser's snarling kept excellent time to the
wild motions of that sawyer.
With crash he sent the saw flying over the
woodpile. This was too much. His wife was
a.