The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-24
NIGHT RLooMINe THISTLE.

The Secretary OF Jne Asnneid FARMERS
Club of Ashfeld. Mass, L. D. Church, in
forms me by United States mail that upon
receipt of my favorable reply will become
an honorary member of that club, along
with George William Curtis, Prof. Norton,
prof Stanley Hall, of Harvard, and other
wet browed toilers in the catnip-infested
domain of agriculture.
take this method of thanking the Ash
faId Farmers Club, through its Secretary,
for the honor thus all SO unworthily be-
slowed, and joyfully accept the honorary
membership, with the understanding, how
ever that during the county fair the solemn
duty of delivering the annual address from
the Judges stand, in tones that will not
only ring along down the corridors of time
Init go laundering three times around a
baIf-mile track and be heard above the
rhythmic PUNK of the hired man who is
irving TO ascertain, by means of a large
mawl and humping machine, how hard
he can strike, shall fall upon Mr.. Curtis or
other honorary meribeOS of the club. |
have voice that does very we'll to express
endearment, or other subdued emotions, but
il is not effective at a county fair. Spec
tators see the wonderful play of my features,
Int they only hear the low refrain of the
baurhty Clydesdale steed, who has neigh
sal voice and wears his tail in a Grecian
col. received $3.50 once for addressing
race-track one mile in length on 1.-The Use
and Abuse of Ensilage as a Narcotic" l
made the gestures but the sentiments were
these of the four-ton Percheron charger
Little Medicine, dam Eloquent
] spoke under low shed and rather adj
verse circumstances. In talking with the
committee afterward, as | wrapped up my
gestures and put them back in the shawl
Strap, / said that felt almost ashamed to
receive such price for the sentiments of
others, but they said that was all right. No
one expected to her an agricultural address.
They claimed that it was most generally
purely spectacular, and So they regarded
my speech as a great success. l used the
same gestures atterward in speaking of
The great falling off among bareback
riders in the circuses of the present day."
| would also like to be excused from any
duties as judge of curly-faced stock or as
umpire of ornamental needlework. After
a person has had fountain pen kicked end
wise through his chest by the animal TO
which he has awarded the prize, and later
on has his features
WORKED UP INTO A GIBLET PIE
by the owner of the animal to whom he did
not award the prize, he does not ask for
public recognition at the hands of his fellow
citizens. 1t is the same in the matter of or
namental needlewOrk and gaudy quilts,
which goad a man to drink and death.
While am proud to belong to a farmers
club and change works. with a hearty,
whole-souled plOughmau like George Will
lam Curtis, hope that at all county fairs
Or other intellectual hand-to-hand contests
between outdoor orators and other domestic
animals | may be excused and that when
Judges of infiamed Slumber robes and rest
les, Tides which roll up and fall over the
floor or adhere to the backs of innocent peo-
pie; or stiff, hard-doric piliOw-shams which
do not In any way enhance the joys of
sleep; or beautiful, pale blue satin pincush-
ions, which it would be wicked to put a pin
in and which will therefore ever and for
sVermore mock the man who really wants
pin, just as a beautiful matchsafe stands
idly through the long vlgils of the night,
year after year, only to laugh at the man
who Staggers toward it and falls up against
and finds it empty; or like the glorious
lnkstand which is so pretty and so fragile
that it stands around with its hands in its
pockets acquiring dust and dead flies for
centuries, so that when you are in a hurry
you stick your pen into small chamber of
horrors-I say when the judges are selected
for this department | would rather have
my name omitted from the panel as | have
formed or expressed au opinion and have
reasonable doubts and conscientious scru-
pies which it would require testimony to
Il remove, and | am not qualified anyway,
and have been already placed III jeopardy
once, and that is enough.
Mr.. Church writes tuat the club has tax
en- up and discussed and settled all points of
Importance bearing upon agriculture, from
the tariff up to the question of whether or
q not turpentine poured in cows ear amel-
iorates the pangs of hollow horn. He de-
Sires suggestions and questions for discus
sion. That shows the club to be thoroughly
4 active. 1t will soon be spring. and we
q cannot then discuss these matters. New
!. responsibilities will be added day by day in
the way of stock, and we will have to think
of names for them. Would it not be well
before the time comes for active farm work
to think out long list of names before the
little strangers arrive! Nothing serves to
lower us in the estimation of our fellow
farmers Of the world more than the frequent
alterations between owners and their
hired help over what name they shall give
to a weary, wobbly calf who has Just
entered the great arena of life, full of hopes
and aspirations perhaps, but otherwise abso-
lutely empty. Let us consider this before
spring fairly opens, so that we may be pre-
4 pared for anything of this kind.
One more point may properly come be-
4 fore the club at its next meeting, and men
ton it here because ] may be so busy at
Washington looking alter our other in
tereSts that cannot get to the club meet
4 ing. refer to the
EVIDENT CHANGE IN cLIMATE
here from year to year, and its effect upon
seeds purchased of florists and seedsInen
generally.
Twenty years ago You could plant seed
according to directions and it would pro-
Il uuce aplant which seemed to resemble in a
i general way the picture on the outside of
the package. Now under the 1uctuating
influences OF irresponsible isotherms,
4 phlegmatic springs, rare June weather and
4 oyerdone weather in August, | find it
almost impossi lie TO produce plant or
vegetable which in amy way resembles its
portrait Is it my fault, or the fault of the
cnmate' | wish the club would take hold
OF this at its next regular meeting.
q first noticed the change in the summer
Of u, think. purchased q small pack
81 age OF early Scotch plaid curled kale, with
beautiful picture on tho outside 1t was
as good picture Of Scotch kale as l ever
saw. | could imagine how gay and light
hearted it was the day it went up TO the
studio and had its picture taken for this
purpose. A short editorial paragraph under
Tue picture stated that / should plant in
al quick rich soil, i'll rows inches apart, TO D
qepth of inch, cover lightly and then roll.
did so. No farmer of my years enjoys
rollng any better than do.
IN few weeks the kale came up, but
turned out to be a canard. then waited
TWO weeks more and other forms of vegeta-