The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1888-01-18
BRIC-A-BK

Although he COVetS IL from Dlrtn,
And covcts II through life's brief span,
Man never, never gets the earth,
1t is the earth that gets the man.
Lit Out-A runaway match.
A winter rcsort-Thc open fireplace.
A Yard Stick-One of your clothes poles.
The oysteropencr's duty J" On the raw
material.
A Chicago editor discourteoU-ly refers to
a woman as ugly enough to stop n clock "
New Years Note-Patent leather pumps
arc appropriate presents for milkmcn.
Mild, soothing, and healing is DR.. Sagc's
Catarrh Remedy.
The vinegar trust is the latest. 1t Is said
to be II very sweet thing for those who are
on the inside.
There is no beautilicr OF complexion or
form of behavior like the wish to scatter
JOY and not pain around us.
Picturesque" is a great society" word
now. 1t is used to describe almost every
thing except griddlc cakes.
The disgusted German was not far wrong
when he said, apropos of the telephone,
You begins nit hello, und ends nit ohcll.'
The people in the audience who talk con
tinually during the progress of n play
should learn the deaf and dumb alphabet.
1t is no great credit for the worm to turn
when stepped upon. A barrel hoop will
do the same thing.
Shc-Lan' OBJ de liben, Brudder Eli
Did you come on dc kyars, or by private
conveyance? llc-Privatc conveyance,
chilc-1 walked.
In round numbers il takes n billion dol
lars in money, coin and paper, to meet tho
normal, everyday currency demands OF
the American people.
Ituskin says, "Man should resemble q
river" Some men do in one respect, al
least. The biggest part of them is thcil
mouth.
"Ycs, indeed" said Mrs. Parvcnu; ''bc
tween weddings and funerals and dress
making we arc all kept on n perfect chaos
in society"
Oar is two kinds O men what tells stories.
One talks ter 'muze you, dc udder ono talks
to 'muZc hisSc'f. 1t won't bc hard fur you
ter eide which one does the mos talking,
When a man in n responsible position
makes too much show Of his piety, and
says, Il am holicr than thou" it is time tc
examine his books and count his cash before
he skips.
How old are you, Mary?' asked Mrs.
Blank of her houscmaid. "Wcll mum,
I'm Just 26, but when / put my money in
the bank told the man | was a great deal
older, SOS Id get more interest on it,"
When ice is thick and dcep's tho snow,
And winter days are drcar O!
Man wants but little here below
Zero.
The respondent papa of n newly born
NO , girl was asked the other day what Inc
had called the child. "Chcstnuts," was
the grim reply; and congratulations wcrc
reserved.
The men physicians, scientists, and
othcrS-who lost !hcir lives while ascending
high mountains in foreign lands, were
probably among those who looked upon tho
small boy who cracks a dynamite cap as {
lirst.Class idiot.
AT a christening, while the minister was
giving a certificate, he happened to say
Let me scc-this is the Both" "Tht
thirticth!' exclaimed the indignant mother
indeed, ii is only the eleventh."
a hen owned by Mr.. Flynn, of Russia
vile, Ind recently laid an cgg on which
The words, In GOO We Trust" were
plainly imprinted. This might be all rigM.
rather bad form in a hen.
INC pan Oh living "lllln one s CarnligG
and steadily laying aside something, how
ever little, for a rainy day, looks to be vcrN
simple and easy, but in fact it is the hardcS
thing that the average citizen has to Learn
III his efforts to get ahead in the world.
Genius recognizes that it speaks no longcl
Tor n tribe, or Il nation. but for all thu
world. What sharper contrast can Their,
he than that between Homer singing hex
amtersto a village crowd in Thcssaly anc
Homer annotated by Gladstone and pub
l!Shcd in languages spoken by 400, 000, 00t
of p' lie.
a lady who had been abroad was dcscrib
ing some of the sights Of her trip to he
friends. but what pleased me most o,
anything" she continued, "wa5 the Stras
burg clock 80 how ! should love TO sc;
it.! gushcd n sweet companion; Tam 81
interested in such foreign sights. And did
you sec the Watch on the Rhine, too?"
The Assembly now in session at Albany
Is an interesting body. 1t has both Water
and Frost, one Weed, a Bush and a Coon
1t holds the Fort while one OF its member.
Is Hunting. One Of its statesmen is known
To be Prime and other Mabic. Brown
Green and White give color to the body
One member is Moody and another Slavery
There is one Church and, naturally, ,
hnapp. Mr.. Gallagher is ON hand to 'lcr
'cr 60 If the necessity for such a stcr
should arise. In this Mr.. Gallup stand.