The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1888-02-23
THE PHANTOM BEER.
Some San Francisco Gentlemen Talk Feel
ingIy of Nightmares.

A group of decayed gentlemen were
discussing nightmares a few days since
in Tar-tiat caravansary. They had
all had some dreadful experience with
grim. dreamy visions; they had all
wakened at dead of night to an awful
sense of undeined horror which rea.
son was powerless 10 dissipate.
One of the number, says Il writer i'll
the San Francisco Examiner, listened
in silent contempt while his compan-
ions told stories, turn by turn, of lit
tie, black, hump-backed men, armed
with long, crooked ~knives, who
grinned maliciously while fourishing
their weapons over their heads; of
enormous, hairy-legged spiders, with
eyes like red-hOt Goals and rainbow
stripes down the back, who dragged
their cold, repulsive bodies over the
victims uncovered flesh; of maniacs.
ferocious, unconscionable, who de-
ciared it their intention to rip out the
sleeper's liver, and eat it raw; of all
the horrid shapes, i'll short, which in-
fest toper's dreams.
The narrators were surprised at the
lack of interest manifested by the ST.
lent man. Nothing seemed to affect
him. While his associates listened
with bated breath to the tale of some
peculiarly monstrous midnight visi-
tant, his hardened features merely
softened into a smile of disdain.
At length the unpleasant reminis-
cences of the assemblage appeared to be
exhausted. A pause ensued, and there
was Il general call for drinks to
strengthen the nerves which had been
shattered by the ordeal
The man heretofore silent made it
known that his was beer. But he
didn't attack his beer the moment it
was set. He looked at it in a medita-
tive way for several seconds.
Yer fellers," he said finally, "think
Yer know something about bad dreams,
but yer don't"
The other decayed gentlemen who
had raised their ready glasses half-N ay
to their lips, put them back again on
the counter and turned in unison
reproachful look upon tho speaker
No, sir said the man with his iron
nerve, becoming dogmatic under OPP
position, ''you fellers don't know what
"a bad dream is like
With that the cool gentleman, show
ing some signs of mental disturbance
for the first time, cast an uneasy
glance at his schooner Of beer, and
seemed to measure with his wicked red
ave the thickness of the froth on its
surface.
"Tother night" he continued, while
/ his auditors hung trembling on his lips.
II had dream that was a bad dream.
Perhaps yer fellers has had thirst on
yer, but yer never had no such thirst
as | dreamed | had that night. |
dreamed that the roof of my mouth
was drier nor y Mojaye farm and ny
palate stuck to my throat like it vas
glued there, ......
At this point of the narrative every
body present took a sip. The cool
gentlemen kept right on. "Well,
boys, l dreamed | wanted drink aw-
full bad, and just as | was wonderin'
how in blazes | was going to get
drink, long come little old man
carryin' of a great big schooner os
beer"
"Bunch." interrupted the auditory
as one man, and a member of the
group wished to know if the cool gem
tleman considered that bad dream.
"Wait and see, replied the narra-
tor impressively. ''Thc little old man
he asked me how | finds myself, but
/ couldn't answer, bein 50 alfred
thirsty. 'WoGld yer like drink?'
says lie, and mods my head, meanin'
bet yer life Then here you are
says he, and he holds out to ME the
great big schooner of beer. l grabs it
like mad, and puts it to my lips, and l
tills it up. Boys, | tilts it up, and |
don't get nothin' but foam inter my
mouth. BLOW off tho troth, says the
little old man, and then he laughs. So
| starts to blow, but just as fast as
blows off the froth more froth rises
from the beer at the bottom. Blow,
blow, blow, says the little old man,
laughin louder and louder. l blows
with all might, but blows in vain,
and the more | blows the drier ! gets.
BLOW yer fool, says the little old
man, sErieking with laughter"
Apiercing cry rang out lin the Tar
fat caravansary. One of the decayed
gentlemen had fallen in swoon The
others stood over him, pale and shud-
dering.
'Look here, Jim," said one of them,
trying to collect himself and address,
ing the cool gentleman, sit amt pIop-
er to tell them sort of stories in
the presence of inYerlids. Yer hadn't
oughter do it.n
The cool gentlemen finished his beer
before seeking to defend himself.
Then he answered simply, while wip-
ing his lips: ''Tought yer wanted to
hear a bad dream"