Idaho semi-weekly world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1875-1908, 1888-10-30
IDAHO
LEARNING TO SWIM.
The Discouraging Aquatic Experiences
New York Hunorist.


New York Hu'rorist
Once upon time, when ! was young
and full OF unlimited confidence in the
future, made up my mind that would
learn to swim. Every one told me l
ought 10 learn the noble art OF how to
keep your head above water. and be-
came filled with a sort OF enthusiastic
longing to 60 and float on my back,
out into tho mystic East, whore the
crested seas play leap-frog through the
never-dying years.
Inquired what was the best way to
: learn to swim. received 1,471 differ
emit replies. 1t was just tribe con-
fusing. | was not quite sure which
was the best way. so ! concluded to
begin AZ the beginning OF the list and
work my way through to victory or a
watery grave.
The first method recommended to me
was TO strip and boldly plunge into the
water where 1t was over my head.
The natural instinct OF the animal.
said my adviser, lis TO swim. You
need nothing but the firm resolve, aud
YOU will find Il exceedingly easy.
Jump right In and strike out, and you
will got there"
The moro | thought about IT, the
more this seemed 10 me TO be good
advice. SO one day. when was cross
ing the North river on n ferry-boat,
Just shut my eyes and jumped over
board. struck out boldly; and as my
adviser had predicted, got there. ]
got right to the bottom. As soon as
possible got back again TO the sur
face. and was just about TO strike out
boldly once more. when miserable
pirate iammed boat-hook under my
collar, and yanled me out OF the water
with an exceeding great yank.
was arrested and taken TO police
court explained to the police JUS
lice that ! had jumped overheard TO
earn to swim, but he sent me up, just
the same.
When my term was at an end. l
thought would try the plan OF the
second adviser. This was 70 practice
the stroke In shallow water until |
knew how To use my hands and feet.
and then to venture into water deep
enough TO swim.
went down TO the river one even
ng where some boys were in swim
ming. and said;
sHow deep Is the water hereP"
"Only two feet and halt" said one
OF the boys. who was padding about.
Ia, I
practiced away at the stroke, and was
doing beautifully, when 1t occurred to
me that the sand on the bottom was
scratching my breast SO said:
"Isn't there any deeper water than
this around hcre?n
Right over there, said boy point
ing went fright over there aud
ut once Disappeared from view. When
came to the surface was going Il
swim splendidly; but two boys jumped
IN and towed me ashore. Once more
| had been rescued.
Then | tried another plan. Thi
was to take "a lot OF corks and put then
under my arms. and swim that wa.
until had the stroke down fine; ther
10 cast away tho corks and so IL alone
We'll, procured my corks, and start
cd out through the surf at Cone,
Island. 1t was really very pleasant
riding the breakers and feeling MS
one were suspended Ia the air Whel
beyond the ropes found | was swim
ming beautifully, so threw OF IN
corlks and struck out boldly. or course
the first shock OF throwing away tn
corks sent me downward, and IL wa
so deep that was a long time comm
up. When | did come up, | was jus
going TO swim away Ia great style
when man came up in a boat, grail
bed nae by the neck and dragged m
In. tried to explain my design t
him; but he intimated that he though
me crank.
Aud SO IL has been. Every time
have tried to learn to swim, some on
has come along and rescued me.
don't want TO be rescued ! want
swim. But they viii not let me. The
always say: My dear sir, in tw
minutes more yen would have bee
drowned" So have given up a
hope OF ever learning TO swim, and al
going TO wade slowly through the res
NJ a sor,.o a. ft,l q xistanca p,trk