Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1888-03-23
The Oatmeal Girl.

his feminine. acquaintances, who
erieved to see him wasting his years,
for, in the feminine mind, unmarried
years are wasted But there was
something serious the matter with
Alfred-he had hobby. Any one
who has male relative affected with
a hobby. whether it is politics, drain
age, orchids, or poultry raising, can
realize how serious this matter was
on learning that Alfred's hobby was
health This unfortunate young man
had dyspeptic father and mother,
and had heard mure about ill health
ever since his childhood than if he
had attended course of medical lec-
lures for years. His mother had to
have certain articles of diet continu-
ally prepared for her dyspepsia, and
his father, having slightly different
style of dyspepsia, had to have his
meals prepared especially for his
needs The family atmosphere was
always regulated by dyspepsia; if a
depressed day happened to take both
parents at once, deep gloom prevailed
over the household If depression
seized upon one parent on day when
the other felt cheerful there were apt
to be conflicting breezes, with ten
dency to storms. On days when both
parents felt able to order pudding
for next day Alfred knew he might
ask favors and obtain indulgences.
and be always improved the occasion
we'll kno wing that the day after the
pudding would be one of darkness
| and despair. On cheerful days AL
fred's parents talked of nothing but
Of What they wanted to eat, on gloomy
days they talked only of what they
| had eaten. Having studied all these
phases of the fruits Of good living,
Alfred realized that though his youth
had borne him safely through years
OF luxurious dining there might be
wrecked digestion in store for him, go
be took advantage of his four years
of college life to cultivate an abstemi-
Gus appetite and habit of taking &C.
tive exercise daily. Thus his hobby
thrived and grew till it demanded
nothing less than that Alfred should
fad for himself healthy wife or
none For this eccentric frame of
mind Alfred's parents were directly
responsible, since it was impossible
to contemplate their sufferings, their
temper and appearance without see-
ing that life would not be worth liv
ing under like conditions But AL
fred found it most difficult to satisfy
the demand of his hobby, being fetter-
ed in bis efforts by that uncontrol-
liable old truism, Things are not
what they SEEM" He wanted a
partner for his fine and well cared for
| digestion, inclosed in the frame of a
pretty and intelligent girl; but, though
he knew dozens of delightful girls, and
could have ascertained without diff
Guilty the exact state Of their hearts
(Le being, as aforesaid, young. rich
and Handsomely. be was unable to feel
positively assured of their digestive
organs. Rosy cheeks, bright eyes,
rounded forms and abundant hair
were all present to his sight, but how
! could he be sure that their owners
did not have "blue spells, nervous at
tacks and tempery spells ?" Perhaps
/, they also partook daily of medicines
by spoonfuls, by drops in tumblers
of water, by powders at one ii times
Had he not seen oil these things
from his youth up, at home, even be-
fore his mother lost her good looks !!
His mother had been beauty and a
belle, but years of dietetic misman-
agement had reduced her to the SEM
blance of mummy.
eff one could calch girl when
quite small. shut her up, and feed her
properly. happiness would be GER
tain" reflected Alfred But as that
could not be conveniently done,in the
present age Of barbarous civilization,
Alfred resolved to find a girl as near
ly up to his requirements as possible,
marry her Immediately, and while
the word ''obey" was still fresh in
her memory restrict her diet, form
her mind, and be happy.
There is o sage old proverb among
the Persisns to the effect that upon
every good resolve wait two genii,
one good and one bad. These par
ties were doubtless ON hand upon the
evening when Alfred met Flossie
Breck. This young woman had
come from neighboring country
town to visit Alfred's cousin, Jane
Moore. Some days after her arrival,
Alfred, with other young people, was
spending the evening up the
piazza of Jaue's home,
and among other things, they discuss
ed their anticipated summer outings
Soashore, lakes aDd mountain were
named, and most of the party were
to be widely divided during August.
In spite of tempting invitation, AL
fred had secretly decided on trip to
the Virginia bunting grounds. when
be heard Jsns say: Ana here's
Flossie going to that STUPID farm,
W here there is no one to see and noth-
ing to do, just SO that she can climb
trees !" A shout of laughter greeted
this accusation, to which Miss Flossie
replied only by bright smile, which
showed two rows of exquisite teeth,
and dimple in which Cupid might
have taken board for the summer.
"And there's nothing to eat up
there" added one of the young men,
"Oh, Flossie eats nothing but oat-
meal and potatoes !''said Jane Moore.
Alfred's attention was aroused.
How very unusual, Miss Breck," be
said
Il eat bread and sometimes meat;
but my aunt, who has always lad
charge OF me, never allowed me toeat all
sorts of things, as other girls do. "said
Fossie, with pretty blush aud de-
precating glance.
"Very sensible of her," said Alfred
becoming more interested. Present
ly he learned that the place she in
tended to visit was farm house in
Butler county. near a village with
which be was familiar.
II go there sometimes; the fishing
is quite tolerable," be said.
II go to visit second cousin oi
| nv nunt and T think I heard her