Daily Yellowstone journal., 1888-09-14
THE FAMILY OF posERs.
Growth Of q Pernicious Habit-Enrichins
Patent Medicine Proprietors.

oEoWtI VI
Patent Medicine Proprietors.
"Drink it; it can't hurt you"
Unless you happen to be person with
a strong will of your own, this injunc-
ton, with its accompanying assurance,
Is likely TO do the business, and you
straightway take the first step in the
broad avenue which leads to the great
and ever growing community of doses.
II is probable that Americans are greater
sufferers from the dosing habit than the
people Of any nation on the footstool,
and it would be difficult to say what
nostrum they would not grasp at and
greedily gulp down, provided it were put
up in an attractive form, with name
no matter what-blown in the bottle.
And there is good reason for this pre-
dilection for patent proprietary potions.
In the first place, bottle of medicine,
although claiming to be specific for
but one disease or one class of disorders,
is shown also 20 be a radical cure, or
helpful, or at the least innocuous in any
or all other forms of bodily derange-
ments; and as this fact is testified 10, not
only by the dealers, who of course have
no interest in deceiying the public, but
by an endless array Of unsolicited testi-
monials from clergymen, who II would
seem, indulge IN this variety of literature
as a recreation from excessive labor in
the soul saving department Of industry;
from actors, actresses, singers and other
show people, who therefrom receive in
cidental notoriety; from respectable
druggists, whose position Of middlemen
is merely an adventitious circumstance
and not to be urged against their known
disinterested conduct outside Of business
and after business hours; and. generally,
from unknown and unllnowable persons
whose last and usual place Of abode is
the greatest possible distance from the
city or town in which you happen to
live.
Then the inducements for a copious
ibation are generous to fault, but this
is not the fault Of the proprietor Quite
the contrary. While the temperate doser
is forced to pay 81 lawful money for
each and every bottle Of the syrup, elixir,
bitters or whatever appellation the medi-
cine affects, the regular and approved
doser is Offered special terms-S5 for six
bottles-so that, beside being given an
opportunity to indulge his dosing propen-
sites TO the full, he has the satisfaction Of
knowing that the more of the stuff he
devours the more money he is saving,
and, conversely, the more saving he is,
the greater the opportunity for dosing
which is vouchsafed him. Thus, by one
stroke, he is building up both his fortunes
and his health.
And then it is so handy 10 have in the
housel Could anything be more con-
venient than to have in ones cupboard
the wherewith TO cure rheumatism,
coughs, colds, neuralgia, chilblains,
cancer, ringworm, consumption, oorns
and kidney complaints, when that whers-
withal is comprised within the conven-
lent compass Of one quart bottle five 10
the gallon), and especially when, as IL by
special providence, il usually happens
that symptoms Of all the diseases named
are ever present within the house which
has that puissant bottle In lis cupboard9
There are, 10 be sure, incredulous per
sons who hold that this perpetual dosing
does no good; but these doubters should
consult few VI the consumers OF the
patent medicines, and hear said consum-
ems testimony as 10 how much better
they feel during the dosing period, which.
generally lasts the year round, and bo,
depressed they feel when they abst,. !,
for day or two. The doubtas sh,
also examine the bank accounts OF "a, r
manufacturers and dealers In propr',s ,e,
specifies, and the rooms Of their ST al.
and beautifully adorned houses an, alfy
extensive grounds. II they shall akrE
assert that patent medicines do no
they are doubling Thomascs indeed, ~
II were idle 10 further discuss tho MA
with tbem.-Boston TrAnscripk 4
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