Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1888-03-02
nGENNRAL MOLANNEN.'

"GENER1L MOL1.SSES."
1t all came of the Revolutionary war
Yes, Willie's unpleasant experiences that
winter came from those great and glorious
battles which resulted in star-spangled ban
ners and Fourth of July celebrations. The
winter he was twelve years old brought
him, as a Christmas gift History of the
Revolutionary War" dearly priced vet a
source Of woe, for he lived in it day and
night. The sun might shine-it mattered
not and his dreams were all of strife and
bloodshed, drawing from his brother Tom
his unwilling bedfellow, the indignant re
mark, That youngster thrashes the Brit
ishers all over the bed, and I'll be hanged
il | stand it much longer" He was an odd
little chap, small and frail, with straight,
light hair, blue, solemn eyes and inquiring
nose, and a mouth around whose childish
curves a world of thought lurked and lin
gered Peaceable, but no coward, as his
boyish friends could testify resenting an
insult with all his puny might, he vet loved
not contact with their dirty fists, for he
dreamed Of more glorious wounds than
those healed by the application of brown
paper and vinegar. mighty spirit ruled
that fragile body, and within his own snug
corner he would sit for hours poring over
warlike deeds, especially those OF our hero
c forefathers, while his eyes would flash
and his heart would throb as he imagined
himself mounted on a foaming steed dash
ing down the rocky mountain slopes like
brave Israel Putnam, or sweeping over the
breastworks at Stony Point as Mad An
thony Wayne in the face of bayonet and
blazing cannon but on, on to victory
Absent minded at all times, his young
friends were teasingly aware of his pecul-
iarities and always on the watch for new
developments, and that particular winter
his wandering wits were never failing fun
for them and two tall brothers and petit
coated atom of a sister, whose hoydenish
ways were terror to her mother and
friends. THAT girl should have been the
boy was a familiar sound to her ears. All
if those wise ones had only known how de
voutly she wished she had been born a boy
whose freedom of trowsers over forbid
den fences and joy of unwashed hands
were a constant source Of envy--they Ger
tainly would have refrained from fostering
the sense Of injury which fed her soul.
Oh those brothers and that sister How
they tormented Willie's young life while
the glamour of the Revolution hung about
him. Errands on various pretexts, always
turn, and his only solace was the ina ginary
world in which he lived, fought and bled
with exalted soul.
One morning he sat as usual his book
upon his knees his fancy glowing with the
roar of cannon, beating of drums, and rat
tie of musketry which quite extinguished
the motherly tones calling to him to run
to the nearest grocery and buy some mo
lasses
He sat entranced until his long suffering
parent appeared before him with foury
hands and indignant voice, exclaiming,
why, Willie, l never saw such boy l
want some molasses Immediately. Bridget
forgot to order it this morning. Go quick
ly; my cake is waiting handing him as
she spoke a dollar bill.
The smoke of battle cleared away as he
rose to his feet smiling, for he was a sweet
tempered little fellow, and loved his mother
dearly. jug in hand he carefully hid from
certain domestic vandals his precious histo-
ry and started down the street. He ran
around the first corner, but soon his feet
moved less rapidly, as the fascinating pic
ture of Lord CORVALLIS abjectly presenting
his sword to the Continental leader rose be
fore his visionary mind. On he went slow
ly, the commanding tones of Americas
great patriot echoiug in the air, and line
upon line of veteran faces rising before
him, while the flag of freedom waved
grandly over all. In lucid moment he
spied several rivulets of molasses trickling
down the Jug. His sense of neatness was
offended, and he thrust his hand first into
one pocket and then into another in search
of slate sponge or stray example paper
which he would have been pleased to see
performing menial office. His fingers closed
at last about a small piece of paper which
answered his purpose nicely, and Hinging
it careessly aside he walked on, again rev
cling in those warlike sights and sounds
which thrilled his soul. As he neared the
grocery, mentally brandishing his glitter
ing blade at the head of a column of infan-
try, he dropped the jug and suddenly rec
objected his errand of peace. Into his
pockets his hand went for his money-it
was not there He searched again, but
the dismal fact remained-the bill was alb
sent
At last it flashed across his now collected
mind that he had disposed of his wealth by
the wayside 80, turning back, he luckily
found it, clinging to vacant stone, yellow
as the Tiber, and sticky as sin. Eying it
ruefully, he wondered if it would be re
ceived as legal tender. There was no wa
ter at hand to remove the sticky mixture
and he stood perplexed. A happy thought
struck him He looked around. Appar-
emily no prying eye was near, so-must |
record SO ignoble u deed of this valiant
leader Of victorious armies the raised it
10 his lips and licked it clean. AS he hand
ed it over the counter to Mrs. Tubbs she
said Grossly, Young man. this is just too
sticky" His heart quaked, but he said to
himself, General Washington wouldn't
have cared, - and Strengthening himself up
looked in her face with calm disdain She
glanced at him suspiciously, but said moth
ing further, and her small customer re-.
ceived his change and left quickly hoping
none of "the boys" had been spying about.
Alas, vain hope As he emerged from the
store a voice greeted him with "Halloo,
General Molasses." This was ignominy in
deed fellow imp had seen and heard
unobserved and poor Willie retreated
homeward, frowning, and striving to par
ry the thrusts of his grinning tormentor.
Soon the exploit of General AIoasses'
was noised about the neighborhood, and for
many day Willie's title chung to him, In
vain our small warrior battled in his own
defence, In vain his big brother, taking
pity, threatened dire vengeance on the en-
emy-it was long ere General M)lasses'
was lost TO fame.
That famous history still lives, but vii
lie is big William now, growing bald and
fat in the busy whirl of great western
city. Dollar bills are abundant, and the
shape of molasses jug probably floats
vaguely through his mind, but there is one
who smiles delightedly when she thinks of
that sticky greenback and all the other
quips and cranks of that funny, absent