The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1888-02-12

4
envelopes, which doubtless contained bushels Of
lace-paper, and pink Cupids, and hearts ard
darts, and blisses and kisses. and all the other
ha a1;v srpscsant souls and ~ Ia angesa :,
door-bel and handed il the mail, he remarked,
First of April is aIlfools day, but the I4th of
February is darn-fools day" Not so think the
youngsters. however, and good many of the
oldsters look with pleasure the one day in
the whole sos in which the wheels of
trade are almost clogeed by the tender tributes
to the little god who makes the world go round.
By the way, it is great pity that the comic
valentine has become so given over to the anony-
nous expression of hatred. malice, spite. and all
other sorts Of meannesses that really harm
less cannot be purchased There are many
people who would like to take a hand in the
days enivening by the exchanging or some tru-
" and purely .scomic" sentiments but they
not TO be found There is broad field for
publisher to issue valentines OF such character
that man could send his mother inaw one
without making her mad 1T him for life Then
those of us who not liable 20 the real articis
COZ fd enjoy ourselves in milder fashion. and
echo the cry of q late writer in January Harpera
Magazine:
"Send me . valentine, somebody.
just for the fun of the thing
Oliver Wendell Holmes wants to know what
civilization would be without pianos. That is
conundrum that resembles Frank Stockton'a
reversible landscape and would look better the
otner side up: What would the piano be without
civiilzatlonf And the elephant scratching his
against rosewood
Ceylon, scornfully answers, .'Tush!"
There is no Immediate prospect that the
weather will ever be tabooed as a topic for con-
versation among civilized beings, but If it ever
should be-dreadful possibility!-what monot-
onous affair human intercourse would become.
There is no subject known mong men which is
SO seasoned oy the peculiarities, prejudices and
: cond ltions OF man as his views on the weather.
4 ,rts IL,
what Won think about the weather aud I'll tell
you what you are" Take one cold clear frosty
day. for instance. with light snow on the
ground and just enough air blowing to keen YOU
informed that Jack Frost is still alive-collate
all the comments on the weather that You hear
during this one day, and you will find it an in
terestlnR study in physics and psychology as
well. Begin with the small boy, skating to
school, with shining morning face;n he thinks
this weather is just nice-.slidin' and skatin' q
good His older pink-cheeked sister, too,
with her blonde frizzes flying out from
under a blue tobogean can. she thinks
hopes it will last month--perfect1y lovely.
Oh, yes she is subject" to sleieh-rides and
toboggan parties-of course, it suits her. Here
comes our bilious friend with poor circulation
and no appetite-he wishes it was summer all
the year round Then the stout man, who re-
members the horrors of last July and doesn't
wish to commits himself-he thinks this is pretty
fair winter weather; yes sir, pretty fair. Then
he malaria iend, who is always hunting mp
SCRABBLE weather, just miserable; have to just
We on quinine; this wretched maariai climate,
you know. Then the people who have juss
moved here from ten times worse climate, but
who find fault with everything. root and branch.
on principle. If erumbling was exterminative,
there wouldn't be any climate left by the time
Finally. like benediction comes that good
man. the minister who thinks in very singular
fashion. that the Lord made the weather. and
it iS sin to revile it. After all, spring is not
far away, and the people who abuse our climate
will soon-too soon-be sitting around tanning
and wishing it wasn't so hot-or that they lived
In some other place besides mean, Old. malaral.
hot, dusty Indianapolis, and all the people will
say amen.
Puck objects to the ROSTERS long established
habit of getting up between midnishs and morn
ing to let the neighhors and all creation know
that he is at home in the BIO som of his family at
that hour If this custom obtained among
human heads of families il would work moral
revolution in many communities.
There is a German band playing about town
these frosty days, which displays horrible and
most reprehensbe insensibility to the unities,
and if richt-minded citizen would only
exert himself to have the hose turned on them
once OF twice, the support of the public. not ia
mention its gratitude, would be freely extended
him. For instance it is cold, cold night, the
fires have to be kept blooming" to render the
house habitable. the pump has just been thawed
out by the three-doar exertions of several
men that you had to walk two miles to in
terview; your mustache frozen stiff when
you came home to supper. and you are just try
ing to thaw yourself out with hot coffee and
waff1es, when here comes this dreadful band in
front of the door. striking up in seventeen die.
ferent keys the air .Juanita.n
Soft Ger the fountain
Lingering falls the southern noon
And it is only the united efforts of the entire
family that prevent you from going out and as.
sassinating the entire band, at least calling
them names Any city that calls itself cor
poraton ought to protect its citizens against the
perpetrators of such outrage. or hand in its
resignation.
And has it come to this9 Mrs Polly Bryan
has been expelled from the Salvation Army for
wearing hustle! If it has reached that point
where there will be tug between woman's
salvation aud the hustle. salvation will have to
give way and Mrs. Polly will have the consola.
ton of knowing that, in this time of trouble and
trial. her sexwill all uphold and stand by her,
Was it not Emerson who related that a lady
once told him that the consciousness of being
perfectly we'll dressed gave her an inward peace
that religion failed to bestow2 Stand to your
spot = e- 49,. '''' s1''' nm - 'n'
There are many queer ways of making liv-
Ing. Even tho Dime Museum monstrosties are
untitled to q share of the road; but there are
some ways Of turning an honest penny that
might be wiped out of existence and leave few
There the memorial cards
frms for instance. which, SO far known,
sxist only In the East-that wonderful quarter
Of our country which has always assumed so
much more to itself in the way of advancement,
culture, ETC.. than the other parts If the United
States. These firms probably Obtain the death
lists from our newspapers, or from nndertakers.
md shortly after death has occurred in d fam
y the stricken relatives are intrudd upon by
having dispatched to them large blank cards
with glazing gilt borders. ornamen;ed by i'm
possible gilt birds soaring aloft bearing scrolls
On which is printed also in gilt tbs words IN
Loving Remembrance Under the soaring bird
lie large gilt Bible wreathed with undesirable
gilt flowers and on which is embla:oned the
name and date of death of the one WHO has lust
gone into the other world. Under tie Bible is
nj ad var Nhoic aola -