Morning journal and courier., 1888-03-13
DIsTINGUISHED.

You can always distinguish @ bishops | head by his episcopate.
 ''Actors are artists," insists Henry Irving. 1 True; but ballet dancers are limners.-Puck. l
 1t strikes us, after casual thought, that | Achilles might have lived much longer if he'd been better heeled.-Puck.
 Mrs. Burnett has written a book which she is pleased to call ''Sara Crewe." This is the first intimation we have had that Saras could crow.-Llfe.
 The coat-tail filtration is the latest A wrinkled coat tail bearing dusty toe marks means 'I have spoken to your father" "- New York Graphic.
 s'I hear that you are engaged, Mamiea" "It is true: ssThen mother was right" ssWhat about?' ''That you would be engaged be- fore leap year was ver."-Boston Courier.
 At the Philadelphia station.-She-''I don't see why they're always peking fun at Phila- delphia See all these people. There is lots going en-" He-"Going ou-yes, to New York and Washington. "-Life. An exchange wants to know "why it is, with so many negroes dying, nobody ever sees black ghost" It is for the same req 1 son that, with so many white people dying, ! nobody ever sees white ghost. Herald.
 -t'What heading shall put to this cable l concerning Gladstone?' Editor-"Great | Scott, man, have you no brains or originality | of your owna Make it The Grand Old Man. ," The Epoch.
 | "Who," inquired the fair Chicago dame, ''is this Sir Roger D. Beverley they're talk l ing about If he's one of those no-good English lords, he doesn't come around my house until Mamies married off, you bet your arctics. ."-Puck.
 Mrs. P. Qate of Chicago)-"I have just
 heard Mrs. Liede1kranz has bought & Stra- divarius that is delightful to hear, and want to get one too" Bird Fancier-"Well,
 ma'am she didn't get 1t here, for I never had
 no such bird as that; but I'll order one for
 you, if you say.'-Life.
 A Rubber Trust-Customer (to rubber
 overshoe dealer)-FI want te get 8 pair of
 rubbers." Dealer-''Yes, sir; same as you
 bought yesterday, I s'posea" Customer stOh yes: those gave excellent satisfaction.
 It was nearly twelve o'clock last night before
 they gave out. t."-The Sun.
 Practical Arithmetic-'EYou can't add diff.
 ferent things together" said a teacher in one
 of the New York public schools. "If you | add a sheep and a COW together it does no'
 make two sheep or two cows" little boy
 who was the son of Harlem milkman, held
 up his hand and said: "That may do witl
 sheep and COWS, but if you add quart O.
 milk and quart of water, it makes two
 quarts of milk. I've seen it more'n thous ; and times. "-Texas Siftings.
 'tWould you believe it, Kittya I weighed
 only ninety-fve pounds to-day! must b falling away" ''Indeed you are, Jennie
 why, only day before yesterday you weighed | 125 pounds Can't you think what caused . the loss in your weight?' ''No, can you? ''Yes, you took the chewing gum out o your mouth to-day, didn't you, when yo' stepped on the scales?' Gland sakes, I be } lieye did. ."-Newman Independent. He was feverishly awaiting her answer
 'sI have spoken to your father, Miss Clara,
 he added, by way of a clincher, ''and h. 7 will gladly welcome me as son-in-law." IT ! l low sH eet tone the answer came: "If yoU had spoken to me first, MT. Sampson" sh said, 'fit would have saved you the troubl of speaking to my father" And then she said something about the weather, which MT , Sampson found cold and bleak 8 few mo
 ments later.-Epoch.