Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-12-15
Bits from Burdette.

WAS there ever a time in your life,
Mr.. Slammaround," asked Miss Lii
bud, when all the world seemed n
dreary waste to you; when your heart
was hungry and starving; all the sweet
springs Of your life were Gurned to bit
terness, and death seemed the sweetest
boon the gods could offer YOU: when
all the light was dark and all friends
seemed false?" "1ndeel there wa"
said Slammarounl, earnestly. Il can
remember it as though it was yester-
day. | was only 10 years old at the
time, and 1 didn't try to smoke another
cigar for six years after.
"Where did you last work ?" asked
Mr.. Easy. "Hi were 'ostler for hoi1i-
GER" replied the new coa"hman. II
sae," said the gentleman. kindly, "you
are young man of misplaced aspira,
tions; but that WON'T matter here [
have no daughter, and you can't ruiz
away with my wife; she won't trust me
long enough out of her sight to elope
with anybody
There's one thing boy can do that
his father can't-he can jump out Of
bed at the stroke of fire alarm, put
on all his clothes the gh5 way, and
be at the fire two minutes ahead of
the first engine. The boy is faith of
the man in some things. But" says
the escaped luratic, who sometimes
turks around the asylum to see il he has
yet been retakcn, CHI girl is farther off
the man than he boz is"
Money in England used to be made
of wood. Hence arose the oXDression,
I'm dead broke: stake me for break
fast. There is a currency in Amer ca
called "chips," but there's nothing
woodeny about it.
An inquisitiye correspondent wants
to know which is worse, caterpillar5
or gfasshoppars Depends on where
you have 'em; on the wheat, grasshop-
pars are worse; down your back, cater
pillars
"The awkwardest thing in the world, :"
says cynical neighbor, sis woman,
handling gun" Dunno about tina. !
did you ever see man hardlinA q
baby?
An obituary poem about a dcaipoi:-
tician says. "He blooms with the ange's
in heaven, his home. Might be, might
be; probably is, in fA. We no:ieed
before he went that he hal Glraady be-
gun to blossom at the nose.
The Texas wool clip this year will
reach about 800, 900 pounds, not
counting Mexican scalps. They are in
clded only in OFF yeas
"How can l hide my fl ,ckles? 2" writes
a sweet young thing, Oh, paint your
face black, Clara; paint your face
black, and they won't show; no, not by
lime light.
IL perceive" said the observant En-
glish traveller, that you have two
class of newspapers in this countrv."
Yes, sssentcd the citizen, "dailies and
weaklies." "That isl't the distinction
had noticed; l tho ght they We're di-
vided into organs and trucking mouth
pieces "Oh, yes" a5santi the citizen,
"theY are at tins time of the year. That
won't last long, however"
Farewell addce of the little star
shaped, red no. Cinder: Old car. fare
WE'LL ThA hoar has com when / must
bid long adj II; but sill I'll cherish
all the months OF Summer days I've
flown with you; I've led discomfort
through the train; I've pat out many Il
laughing eye; the hlpp;e;t hours I've
drowned in pain. Good by, Old car,
good-bv. Inaugural of the Car Stove:
How do, cd car? Tn, merry tim, Of
brittle rails ald wrecking trains brings
back the dear, familiar scenes, when
I'll get in my work again; full many
time, in days son, ly, I've roasted
folks alive with You; you've been re-
built-and 50 have how do, old car,
how ,ln0