St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-08-03
BOB BURDETTE.
Sayings of the Brooklyn Eagle
HumOriSt.

HumOriSt.
SOUNDED NIGHTLY LIKE 1T.
The lens of the Lick telescope magni-
fies $4,000 times. 1t is blessed thing
say, telescope; isn't that something to
talk through? Seems to us we've heard
some men who talked through a thing
something like that.
THE VICTIM OF CONSCIENCE.
81 am in terror" sighed poor Mrs.
GOodmOther, ''every time 1 hear the
bell ring; know Pll hear something
dreadful about Jack. Pm sure he's
been into some awful mischief"
what makes you think sO?' asked
her husband. ''Oh, he came directly
down and studied his lessons for to-
morrow for. nearly two hours, and has
been as good as an angel ever since.
Dear, dear, what has that boy been up
to, would like to know?"
FOUND DROWNED.
walter, where did you get that
coffeeH" sit was made right here in the
house, sir" Yes, knew it was made
in the house. It's so weak it would
have died from exposure had it been
made in the street,"
'OD RABBIT!
Well, surgery has it's disadvantages
anyhow. So many defective eyes and
aching nerves have recently been
patched up with the rabbits healthy
tissues that it is no wonder there are so
many hare 'em scarum young fellows in
society. HIM? Ye-es, yes, young men,
| am afraid so. l am afraid that
Welsh rabbit is used far too freely by
many young men who have very SUI
perficial knowledge of advanced sur
gerry. That isn't the right kind of
rabbit. Do L think, then, that Jack
rabbit would be better in your case?
N-no, no, Mr.. Cass: think you are al
ready supplied with the jack that goes
with your name.
CURRENT LITERATURE.
Gull was in great shape Saturday aft
ernoon.
The boys run up against brace at
Buffalo.
Did you see the buffers jump onto
the Rabbits curves?
1t was great day for Morgan's colts.
Say. Delaney, how many chances does
man have to offer you, anyhow?
Mack, you won't run out of the line
next time, won't you?
Two singles and double the first
half. Good boy, Lanky!
That was dandy punching in the
seventh.
Did you mind how Scanlon took 'em
into camp.
Buck is getting to be willy twirler.
You say, dear madam, you don't see
any sense in all this rubbish? Don't
see any sense in it? Bless your dear,
simple soul, it beats Browning.
Your husband and sons pore over
that sort of literature three or four
hours week, and they like it, too.
That's base ball literature, and it isn't
''made up" for this column, either. 1t
IS copied from cold print. in an Amer
lean Gentleman's Journal devoted to
science, art, the field and other things
for which the soul of the American gen.
tleman is supposed to hunger.
SHOCKED TO DEATH.
The train is slowing into Livingston,
Mont. Sounds of aftercation are heard
without. Mrs. Verrigood, clasping her
hands over her ears, rushes across
the car. ooh! oh! oh. Just hear that
man swearing Oh, isn't it terrible!
1t makes me shudder! 1t is dread
full! | never heard anything so
horrible in my life! Oh, dear. Will
nobody stop him? Oh, just listen to
him! Please do so out, somebody, and
make him stop! l never heard such
terrible profanity in my life! Oh, can
not stand it, Clara. dear, come over to
this window; you can't half hear him
where you are.''