The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1888-05-13
ALL SORTS OF ITEMS.

TIME gallops under the spur of the
moment.-Texas Sittings.
BoULANGER is q baker who makes the
French twlst.-New YORK Journal.
The man VIII drinks is always thirsty
That's why he drlnks.-Chicago Null.
al say, Jim. if fellow took suIphuric
acid, wnat would you give himYt I'D
give him up "-HayUard LomDoon,
Bismarck, of course. considers that Al
is fair in war, but ne is not so ready In
concede that all Is fair in love.-Boston
Post.
In writing letter ;nclosing sub =.
scrip tioh 10 Siftin9S you may write on
both sides OF the paper If you want to.
Texas Siftings.
Are you fond of ToIstl7" asked
Boston girl ola Chicago young man.
"Well-er-resliy now, can't say.
How do you eat it?"
A certain o. ored man once said :"I'se
mos alias notised il live rro' de month
of March Use pretty sure to live tro' de
rest of de yeah"
A Boston woman who used to spend
$40 per year for kid gloves now gers
along with three pairs. Her bus band
bought her diamond ring.
If one would have a good picture Of
public opinion he must take it by the
new instantaneous process. It does
not keep still.-N. o. Picayune.
An eastern paper says sealskin sacques
are rapidly going out OF style. 1t
is probable that by July not sealskin
sacque will be seen on our streets.
Butcher-I do not like to lose YOUR
custom. What can l do to make mat
tiers all right with your Customer
buy me new set of teeth. Boston |
Gazette.
Miss Ann O'De1'a Diss DeBar,
How we wonder who you are
Where you came from, who's your ma, !
Miss Ann O'Delia Diss DeBar.
N Y. EUening World.
Mrs. Victoria Guelph's title now is:
Defender of The Faith; Queen OF Eng |
land, Ireland and Scotland; Empress of |
India, and Morher-in-laW OF Germany. |
Chicago Ne,0s.
II wish l knew what to preach about |
next Sunday" said Rev. Mr.. Smooth
text. Preach against the evils of |
riches" suggested the elder; "there |
is'nt man IN our church worth over |
So O0."-Burdette.
A resident in Church street was asked |
yesterday what she thought would be
the first thing women would do if they
had the making of the laws. Limit
the numb Der of lodge meetings." was the
prompt 1eply.-Poughkeepsie Neps-
Press.
And to make a long story short,
Bishop, the train came to a standstill
just in the very nick of time, and my
dear Aunt Jane was saved-actually
saved. Now. wasn't that a mercy,
Bishop2" "Well, Mrs. Boreham- you
see-I-a-I don't know your aunt
Punch.
When it is understood that the Amer
lean protege at Tangier, over whose
case the trouble with Morocco arose,
is named Euhamed Ben Jelalf Ell Erisi
Ell Hal Eli Ell Hihi, it will be perceived
that the protection of such parsonage
is no triaing matter.-Boston Journal.
High Church Rector lin New York;
II have concluded TO abandon the con-
fessional. Vestryman -'Think it
savors too much of Rome?" mo, that
isn't 1t; but no one comes to confess ex
cept women, and l can't waste three
hours every day listening to smuggling
stories. "-Omaha World.
g st. Peter (severely) ~ suppose, sir,
you heard the story of the camel and
the needle, and yet you were not only
borne rich, but you lived rich and died
RICH" New Spirlt-''You have not ex-
amined the record very closely, St.
Peter; died IN poverty" "Eh?" l
had consumption and went to Florida
in the vail hope of cure. l died IN
FLORIDA hotel after paying my bili."--
Omaha World.
Few of his contemporaries have the
m de3ty of James RUSSELL Lowell. This
is q verse from rns of his new poems
called Sin an Album"
Too pressed to wait, upon her slate
Fame writes a name or two in doubt;
Scarce written, these no lon ger l ase,
And her own fingers rub them out,
1t may ensue, fair girl, that you
Years hence this following leaf may see
And, pat &c task, your memory ASK
In vain, This Lowell, VINO was he?'