Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-05-10
BILL NYE'S DISCARDED BILL.
Will Congress Take Some Interest in Rail-
way Conductors.

proved-The Bitter Result of Western
Lecture Tour
Some anxiety is being shown on the
part of the people relative to the con-
dition of certain bill. introduced in
Congress Jan. 10 of the presen year.
and tho masses are beginning to clamor
for information as TO the time of its
final passage and enforcement rs law.
The bill provides for the licensing of
railway conductors, and, with the idea
that all the evils of travel, from the
choppy condition of the road-bed to the
sallow color and hopeless demeanor of
the hard-boiled eggs along our great
lhorouglares of travel. are directly due
to the neompetency of the conductor,
aims to regulate this matter by striking
ut the root of the evil.
Conductors. under the provisions of
the bill, are required to submit to
rigid examination under the eyes of
Chief Examiner, appointed by the Pres
ident and who shall receive So 500 per
year and mileage at the rate of 10 cents
per mile, together with reasonable
travelling expenses. This Chief Exam
iner will delegate his power as an ex-
amner to twenty Supervising Examin-
ers, retaining only the bitter anguish
and enervatlng toll incident to the life
of one who looks out at car window
all day and patiently accumulates mile
age.
The Supervising Examiners shall re-
&c We 1000 per year. reasonable trav-
cling expenses. and 10 cents per milo
by the most devious method of travel.
! Railroad Lines will be perm tied to pass
Chief Examiners, Supervising Examin-
ers &c. to and from their work.
The Chief Examiner and Supervising
Examiners shall constitute II National
Board Of Examiners, who shall meet ut
| Washington, ID. G., every little while
to think il over and then 90 away.
This National Board of Exam ners shall
divide our unhappy country into twenty
districts, each of which shall be cheered
by the presence of two District Exam
iners, and they shall be men OF good
moral character. who can ask difficult
questions and be willing TO work on
salary. They shall receive Il salary of
So 90 per year, mileage, stationery
! L
trict Examiners as prescribed are OBJ
tOnal but the salary is compulsory.
Assistant District Examiners may be
appointed ut n salary of $1,000. and
clerks. when necessary. NAV be en-
ployed TO DO the work at $1,000 per
year.
The Chief Examiner, Supervising Elk.
aminers, District Examiners and As
sistant District Examiners shall be at
all times guarded by cloud of mileage
by day and pillar of salary by night.
Under the provisions of section of
the act the District Board of Examina-
ton shall have power to pry into the
pedigree, personal habits, quallica-
tons, aims, aspirations. accompl sh-
ments and phys cal condition of any
man who may make application for the
portfolio OF conductor or door slammer
extraordinary as provided in this act.
and further, it is provided elsewhere i'm
the bill that no conductor shall be per-
mitted to 60 through Il train with u
pencil III his mouth. pair of forceps
IN one hand and II pad of drawback
checks in the other, acting as conduc-
tor q treasurer, nurse, ia lway
folder, map and household guide. at
$50 per month. with the privilege of
beng killed between meals, unless he
shall have passed II thorough examina-
ton on the same track, and received a
License from the Board of Examiners,
and paid n fee of IS to said Board. The
bill also provides that the sum of $780,
900 shall be appropriated for tie on
tingent expenses of the Board in get
ting to and from widely separated
points, and for wear and tear of
Thinkers while engaged in getting up
deep conundrums for applicants.
The board may revoke the license of
any conductor at any time upon the
commission of certain acts. and he will
be arrested under the provis ons of the
United States statutes If he undertake
to run train, even though the railroad
company NAV desire to retain him.
This gives the conductor the chance to
work for the railroad COMPANY and the
United States of America, provided he
behaves himself, and at one salary. In
other words, he buys license for the
privilege of doubling his responsible
ties without increase of pay. Upon
passing a satisfactory examination, the
conductor will be permitted and re-
CURED to wear large tin badge bear
ing the remark CONDUCTOR" upon il,
also the number of his license. the
number of the district in which the
license was issued. the number of his
residence, his post-oflice address and
anv other information desired by u
morbidly inquisitive public. He may
also be required to wear a muzze dur
ing dog days.
He will also be expected to wear the
various badges of the road for which
he may be employed, together with
fore en- decorations, statements. way
bills and certificates of the pres ding
officer setting forth whether he be out
of order or not. He will be required to
wear on his breast all badges referred
to in this act. together with such other
badges as he may have in the house,
till his bosom shall resemble n Christ
mas tree.
The schedule of examination has not
yet been fixed. but it must be so pre-
pared that it shall cover the physical
and mental condition of the applicant.