Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1888-11-23
ADAM AND EYE.
,oy, Discourse by Req. Whanvdooa,.
' s,cy of the Assttss Blue Light Tab--o
Texas siftings.1

InTf
. Ms of the Awsets Bsae Light Tabe~e
''''' Texas siftingsl
uv bloved hearus. P'r'aps hit Amt
n fawm fur man ter talk about his
3 folks, but nebberdeless perposes
w. make few remarks on de subject oh
~ ~ inst ancestors, Adam and Ebe.
lam aware OBJ de fac dat, wild his
.aal persumshun, our white brudder
an,s dat Adam and Ebe was white.
las noticed dat all de pictur's oh dis
ns par. ter use a poker expresshun
.novn ter most oh you all heah ter
,;sht represents dem as bein' white as
rbat little wool dar am left on de ton
4, Uncle NOSES head ober yonder in de
,men corner. When I was in de Norf
,.tenain de Conference Oh de prelatical
,snnermens belongin' ter de Cullud
African Pan-Mefodis Church, in de
aty oh New York, / spent more den m
hour in q museum oh art in a street
allied de Bowery. 'zaminin' for myself
stature of Adam and Ebe made outer
chalk on puppus ter convey de impress
SIN dat dey was white.
contend that Adam and Ebe was
Drack, proberly bracker den Sam John
sing ODER neah de doah hirtn' wild Ma
fla SNOWFALL. De Garden OBJ Eben
was in de tropicals, whar dar was snakes.
Why shrdden't our f,lst parents hab
been brack?
Members OBJ de white clergy in dis
city hab de way oh depreshiatin' de
culud man and brudder dat am highly
'noxious ter me. Dey make out dat de
debble am brack, and dey paints him
heap bracker den he is, and at de same
time day seys dat Adam and his wife
were white. Hits scanalous, puffectly
scanalous; dat's what hit is.
In regard ter Adam and Ebe, der
don't seem ter be any doubt dat befoah
dey put on aprons dey didn't war muffin
but bathin' suits, cut low in de neck, or
dayeolletay, as we folks say who knows
Latin and Greek.
Ebe fust invented sin, and she am re-
sponsible for most oh de improvements
since. Adam wu'd not hab been fooled
so easy. OATS de reason Ebe am called
de weaker vessel. De debble alone
tempted Ebe an obercome her, but hit
took de debble and de CONAN bofe ter
help him ter git de better OBJ Adam.
Adam and Ebe was turned outen dar
property on account oh dar sinfulness
OBJ eaten OBJ de forbidden fruit, SO we
am tole in holy writ, but hits de pin
yon OBJ we're belubbed pasture, who
reads de papers an amt got no flies on
him, dat dey would hab been turned
out anyhow. Jay Goul, or SOM udder
metropolis, would hab come aroun' an
claimed de groun' some time; an dey
would hab got hit, too.
If Deacon Snodgrass will punch
Brudder Webster in de back wild his
cane an wake him up so dat he will stop
snorin' for few minits, so dat I can de-
nounce de SOCIOLOGY, we can desperse
to our homes wide de blessin' OBJ de
Lawd, after de usual kerlecshun hab
been tuckin' up for de convarshun oh de
benighted Souf Sea Islanders, an de
runnin' expenses oh de pasture.
ONE THAT WILL BEAR TELLING
AGAIN.
A certain fort in the far West so the
story goes, was in command of major
of artillery who was constantly lament
ing that his favorite arm could not be
more frequently used against the
Indians. Finally, one day he took one
Of the small howitzers, which defended
the fort, and had it securely strapped to
the back of an army mule with the
muzzle projecting over the animals tail.
With this novel gun carriage he pro-
ceeded in high feather with the captain
and sergeant to bluff on the bank Of
the Missouri, near which We're camped
a band of friendly Indians. The gun
was duly loaded and prined, the fuse
inserted and the mule backed to the
edge of the bluff. The major remarked
something about the moral effect the
exhibition was likely to produce upon
the Indian allies, and stepped gaily for
ward and applied the match.
The curiosity Of the mule was aroused.
He ierked his head around to see what
was fixing away there on his neck, and
the next second his feet were all
punched together and making forty
revolutions minute, while the gun was
threatening everything under canopy
within q radius of ten miles with instant
destruction. The captain Skinned uI
the only available tree. The sergeant
threw himself fiat on the ground and
tried to dig q hole with his bayonet to
I, crawl into, while the fat major rolled
over and over in agony, alternately IN
voking the protection of Providence and
cursing the mule. Finally the ex-
u|Os;on oon,a tho hall 0Oinp through