Sharp County record., 1888-07-26
MY COUSINS COUSIN.
Why Zamaliel Jones' Stay With
Us was Shortened.

was sitting on the porch waiting
for supper, as we call the evening meal
in the country. A man came up the
carriage drive with brisk step and
travelling sachel. AS soon as he saw
me broad smile lighted up his face
and, rushing forward with extended
hand, he said: Have the pleasure
of seeing Mr. Oldschool, Mr.. Obadiah
Oldschool?" Yes, that is my name" )"
! replied somewhat coldly, for l
thought that he was a book-agent who
had timed his call so that we would
have to keep him over night.
Instead of beginning to talk book
talk he said: 81 was sure that | could
not be mistaken. You have the Old
school features. Any one acquainted
with that remarkable family would
recognize you at once. | am not so
fortunate as to be an Oldschool by
birth, but | am connected with you by
marriage My name is Gamaliel
Jones and my wife is a cousin of your
cousin, Amaaiah Oldschool. You have
no doubt heard of him. When told
Cousin Amaziah that | was coming out
here, he said; You must be sure to go
to X. and call on our mutual cousin,
Obadiah, He is a man that all the
Oldschools are proud Of. have never
met him, but have read his pieces in
the Interior and | am sure that he will
give you a cordial welcome - So, in
compliance with the request of Cousin
Amaziah, | have walked out from
town to see you and your home that we
have heard so much about. And what
a beautiful home it is! How thrifty
the trees are! How we'll the grain
loolsi How bright the nowufs' How
splendid the scenery! Truly this is
paradise"
He evidently expected me to gush re-
sponsively, but in the first place, for
one who married cousin of my cousin
to come claiming kinship seemed to me
rather cheeky. The Oldschools are
prolific race, scattered over three or
four States. know at least fifty who
are my cousins by birth or marriage,
and as each of these may have fifty who
are his or her cousins yet not mine,
there are thousands of people who
might come to me with as much right
to claim a cordial reception and full
entertainment on the score of relation
ship as had this Gamaliel Jones. And,
in the second place, as to his having
married my cousins cousin, had only
his word for it, / knew that there was
an Amaziah Oldschool somewhere in
Ohio, but did not know that he had
any Joneses among his kith and kin.
SO said to him with formal polite
ness: "Sit down. You must be tired
after your long walk"
He took the offered seat put his
sachel on the floor and began to tell me
confdentially all about his affairs. He
had come West seeking a new home.
Our mutual cousin Amaziah had as
sured him that | was the very man to
give him information about the coun-
try and to help him to find good
place. Placing his hand atfectionately
on my knee, he said: Il shall depend
on you, as the cousin of my wife's
cousin, to go around with me and give
me your opinion about the farms and
orchards that are for sale; for | know
that can depend on you. A man who
has secured such a location for himself
ought to be judicious adviser, and
consider myself extremely fortunate
in finding such a relative to counsel
and assist me in this far-off land.
He paused a moment as if expecting
reply, and | remarked, as cOldly as |
could, that this was very busy season,
and that | could not now leave my
work and go all over the country with
him.
This, however, did not dampen his
enthusiasm. He hastened to say: 20
there is no hurry. | can wait until
you are at leisure. ! could not have a |
pleasanter place to stay than this. |
told Cousin Amaziah that it would be |
nice to spend few weeks with you, so |
that l could study your methods in
farming and fruit-culture, and he |
agreed with me. So you see it's all |
right. Take your own time, and when
you are ready will be delighted to
drive about with you and have your help
in selecting a home for myself and my
dear wife, your cousins cousin"
| was dumfounded. What could
say to such a gushing suggestion as
thisp l felt like that modest young man
Of whom l read in leap-year story.
'sAs soon as he was introduced to the
yirl she rushed into his arms and asked
lim to marry her." But before l
'ould answer the supPer-belI rang 4