The Red Cloud chief., 1888-08-24
PARAGRAPHS.

I PUSGENI PARAGRAPHS.
Washington has a summer home
for cats" 1t is aid to be surrounded
by q caterwau!. -NOrristoum Hcrdtd.
in polite circles the word drunk
or '.intoxicated" is nc longer used
'1Overestimated his capacity is thu
proper thing.-EpOch.
look out for number one is ike
the baseless fabric of u dream to q
widow ON the qui cicc fora secOnd u
band.-Binghamton Republican.
st. Louis mar WITNESSING Julius
Cnsar")-"DO you notice. my dear.
with what stately grace Brutus moves
abOut?" Wife-''Yes. and he is in his
night-gown. too. It's wonderful"
Some one says that an umbrella
| will last much longer ii it is placed
with the handle downward to dry. 10
preserve it still longer. attach 1t to
your body with a long chain and pad
! lOck.-Norrist0Wn Herald.
1t is not always easy to tell whether
| or not a wOman really mea what she
says; but this rule does not apply when
she is expatiating on the accomplish
ments of her baby. She may be mis-
guided. but she is always perfectly
sincere.-SomcrriWs journal.
-"Al the men arc not fools. any.
how" snapped Mrs. CURLY to her hus-
band during a little domestic discus
sion. mo. my DEAR" replied Mi. c..
with true manly p~oliteness. "No.
there are a few bachelors lett as sam
ples."- Washington Critic.
Police Protection. -Smith-''HOw
do you like your new house out in the
suburbs?" JOnes-''The only objection
l have to it is that it is so far to the
police station in case OF burglars"
why didn't YOU rent II house neal a
saloon? You can always find a police
man hanging around there."-Teras
Sylings.
dominic Ito choir leader)"-The
collection this morning. Mr.. HOtwater.
was very small, and l am sorry to say
that l think the meagreness was largely
due to YOU. Choir Leader-'.Largely
due to me, sir?" DOminie-.'leS.
Hereafter. while the plate is being
passed. l wish You would try and make
a better selection Of music than Sal
vation's Free."-N y. San.
Mrs. Lenox Hill. Jr. (se:ting ready
to leave tOwn)-''LenOx, where shall l
hide these silver spoons. in ease thieves
break in? DO you think between the
mattresses would be Il good place."
Mr.. LenOx Hill. Jr. (whO knows what
he is talking abOut)-"Nonscnse! Put
them into one of your dress pockets in
the closet. and if Il burglar finds that,
he deserves the spOOnsr-Pucs.
Somewhere down East q married
pair we're in the habit of airing their
differences audibly. In these spats the
wife. having the longer tongue, was
usually the winner. The result vas
made known in one case to an inquir-
ing neighbOr (whO asked where he
could find Mr.. McBlank) in these
words: II don't know guess he's up
StfbAES unIAu A1oSOAIe -DOStOS ASUOe
script.
The types" observes . Southern
Missouri paper a~pOlogetica1y. made
us allude last week to our esteemed
tOwnsman. Mr.. POlhemus. as a villain
Gus lounger. We wrote versatile law
YER The error was overlooked by u
p~rOOf-reader. q gentleman recently
from Texas. who assures us. in extern
uatiOn Of the oversight. that the two
terms g pretty much the same
thing where he came from"
-Clergymen should be brief and to
the point. A Boston clergyman once
had a broad hint to that effect. I'VE
would like to have you short when you
marry u.s." said n prospective BRIDE
groom. ''because We + going West"
''HOw soon after the ceremony will you
start?' asked the clergyman. lin
about u week." vas the reply. Then
the minister realized he had n reputa-
ton Us II possessing the gift Of on
tinuance.-Harpcr's Magazine.