Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1888-02-08
PITH AND rOnE.

In ! nuttshell-The voFm.-Puck.
AN actor knows his lines whom shey
are cast in pleasant placeA-Near Or
leans Picavune
IT i the dry-goods clerk Who most
frequently sales under false colors.-
New Haue,s Ne,vs.
GIANTS are not particularly happy.
An overgrown mar has . grewsome
look. -NeU Orleans Picayuna
The difference between Chicago and
Utah il that Chicago doesn't assume
that its bigamy is right Judge
The manufacturers of soda-water
might form 9 pool by opening al their
fountains ct once.-NeU Orleans Pica-
yu9se.
IT may seem paradoxical, but . nan
must have some push to him TO pull
through life with more than ordinary
success. Detroit Free Press.
THERE were only two railway acct
dents OF any consequence yesterday.
Death is apparently away somewhere
enjoying the holidays. - Nebraska
State Journal
ALDERMAN to his guest after o good
dinner)-'Elp y'shelf! Rocollec' every
bole O champagne we drink provi'sh
employment for the workin' classhesh!
London Punch.
A TnAMp's philosophy-"When q wo-
man merely dislikes q thing she throws
cold water on il. When she hates it
like pizen she throws hot water on it"
burlington Free Press.
II GENERALLY pick my company"
said Mrs. Yeast, haughtily. "Yes, l am
aware OF il" replied Mrs. C~rimsonbeak,
sarcastically "but You wait until after
they have left your house and then you
pick them to pieces"
TIMrD young sutton who has won con-
sent Of papa-And now may I ask you,
sir, whether ah-whether your daugh-
ter has any domestic accomplishments? ?
Papa (sarcastically)- Yes, sir; she
sometimes knits her brows.
"AH, sir" exclaimed q Scotch elder,
in q tone OF pathetic recollection, "our
late minister was the man! He was
powerful preacher; for i the short time
he delivered the word amang us, he
knocked three pulpits to pieces, and
dang the insides out O. five Bibles!"
The Aexibility of the English Ian.
guage is shown in the reply Of an Irish.
man to a man who sought refuge in his
shanty in q heavy shower, and finding
it about as wet inside as out. said
"You have quite a pond on the floor.
"Yis; shure we have q great lake in the
roof"
WILLIE, who was fed by the ravens? p
what is o raven?" "Don't you know,
and you an editors son? Why, q raven
is a bird like a crow" ."Then I guess
it must have been dad" "Why?" II
heard him say yesterday that he had
been eating crow aver since the lection,
and he was sick of it"
"DID you say that I never missed 9
drink, sir?" q man demanded Of his
neighbor in an angry and threatening
manner. II may have done So" was
the reply. "But / never drink and you
know it'll" "Then you never miss it, dc
you?" That put the matter in a differ.
ent light and they took a smoke to.
gether. -Siftings.
MAN Ito editor)-Why is your pape,
opposed to the American party? Ed.
itor-W'y, it would not do to advocate
the principles of>such an organization.
"Why?" "Oh, we'll, in q reactionary
way, my party would lose the foreign
vote" "Yes, but, in catering toe
plainly to the foreign vote, might you
not lose the native American vote p
"Native American vote! Why, my deal
sir, we care nothing for such feeble
support. But tell me. is their . native
American vote ?"-ArkansdU Trauelcr.