The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-03-30
BILL NYE's BEST.

Ou OodFu y esLeEn train the Otnel
day ! held in my bosom for over seventy
five miles the elbow Of . large mar
whose name ! do not know. He wa.
not q railroad hog or l would heve re
sented it. He vas built wide and he
couldn't help il, SO l forgave him.
He hads large gentle. kindly eye,
and when he desired to spit went to tn.
car door, opened it, and decorated the
entire outside Of the train, forgetting
that our speed would help to give scope
to his remarks.
Naturally. as he sat there by my side,
holding on tightly to his ticket and EVIL
IDENTIFY afraid the conductor would for.
get to come and get It, l began to figure
out in my mind what might be his bust
ness. He. had pounded one thumb sc
that the nail was black where the blood
had settled under it. This might hap.
pen to o shoemaker. a carpenter, q
blacksmith or almost anyone else. 30 i,
didn't help me out much. though i,
looked to me as though it might have
been done BY trying to drive . fence
nail through a leather hinge with the
back Of an Ak, and nobody but a farmer
would try to do that. Following up the
clew, l discovered that he had milk on
his boots. and then l knew l was right.
The man who milks before daylight in q
dark barn when the thermometer is 2s
degrees below zero, and who hits his
boots by reason of the uncertain ligh,
and prudishness OF the COW, is q marked
man. He cannot conceal the fact tina,
he is q farmer unless he removes tina,
badge. 80 l started out on that theory,
80 l remarked that this would pass for q
pretty hard winter on stock.
The thought was not original with me,
for l have heard 1t expressed by others
either in this country or Europe. He
said it would.
my cattle has gone through a NOW.
full O. hay sence October and eleven ton
o brand. Hay don't seem to have the
goodness to it tibet it he'd last year, and
with their new process griss mills they
jerk all tho juice out O. brand SOS you
might as we'll feed cows with excelsior
snd upholster your horses with hem
lock bark as to buy brand"
well, why do you run so much
stock' Why don't you try diversified
farming and rotation of crops7"
well. prob'ly you got that idee in
the papers. A man that earns big wages
writin Farm Hints for agricultural pa
pers can make more money with a soft
lead pencil and two or three season
cracked idces like that'n l can carrying
Of EN- out on the farm. We used to
have q fellow in the drug store in our
town that wrote such good pieces for
tho Rural Kermonter, and made up such
good condition powder out of his own
head that two years ago we asked him to
write a nessay for the annual meeting OF
the Buskwheat Trust. and to use his OWE
judgement about choice Of subject
And what do you s'pose he had selected
for q nessay that took the whole fore.
noon to revd?'
What subject, you meant"
Eyes"
Give it up!'
Well. he'd wrote out that whole
blamed intellectual wsd on the subject
OF The Humanity OF D%ehorning Ely.
draulic Rams How's thst1"
THAT'S pretty fair"
"Well, farmin is like runin' a paper in
regard to some things. Every teller il
the world will Lakeland turn in and tel
you how to do it, ever if he don't know
a blame thing about it. There ain't {
man in the United States to-day that
don't secretly believe he could run airy
one If his other business busted on him,
whether he knows the difference be
tween a new mich COW and q horse hay
rake or not. We had one OF these en-
broidered nightshirt farmers come from
town better'n three years ago. Been &
tollet-soap man and done we'll, and SO hi
came out and bought q house and barn,
q lot OF medder in the front yard, and 8
Southern aspect. The farm was nc
good. You couldn't raise o disturbance
on it. Well, what does he do! Goes
and gets a passed. Of slim tailed yellcl
cows from New Jersey and aims to
handle cream and diversified farming
Last year the cuss sent q load of cream
over aud tried to sell it at the new ere.
matory while the funeral and hollercos,
was goin' on. may be sort of . chumr
myself. but l read my paper and dom
get left like that"
What are the prospects for farmer.
in your stated"
well. they are pore. Never was &c
pore, in fact, sencc I've been there
Folks wonder why boys leave the farm
Ny boys left SO as to get protected
they said. and so they went into a cloth
ing store. n of EN-, aud one went int
the hardware, and one is talkin' pro
lection In the legislature this winter
They said that farmin' was gettin' to b.
like fshin' and huntin', we'll enough TO
q man that has means and leisure, bu
they couldn't make alivin' at it, the,
said. Another boy is In a drug store
and tho man that hi.es him says he is
royal feller."
Kind Of a castor royal feller,"I sale
with a shrek Of laughter.
He waited until l had laughed all
wanted to, and then he said:
1--we always hollercd for high tariff i
order to hyst the public debt, but nov
that we've got the National debt coop
cred l wish they'd take a little hack a
mine. I've put in City years farmin,
I never drank ticker in any form. Nv
worked from ten to eighteen hours
day; been economical in cloz. and neve
went to o show more'n q dozen times i
my life; raised a family and learned UP
wards of two hundred calves to drin
ont NJ a tin nail without hlowin' thci