Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1888-05-05

Girls is queer! She only laughed
Cheeks all dimplin: John, says she,
"Foolin' men that never gets
Real in earnest, amt for me-"
Want that cute! i took the hint,
An chair, an staid, an We
Quit our foolin.
Judge.
REVENGE IS SWEET.
"Mother," said Miss Clara, edo you
think Bobby ought to lounge in that
handsome chair Z"
Certainly not, Bobby" said his
mother, reprovingly, "you might break
it."
eff it's strong enough to hold Clara
and Mr.. Featherly," argued Bobby, rs
he slowly slid down, sit ought to be
strong enough to hold little boy"
THE EDITORS WEARY son.
Editors Wife.-Well, what do you
look SO happy about
Editor-Three subscribers paid up to,
day. And, my son, why do you look SO
miserablel
81 see 4 will have to saw wood every
evening for month"
ACHANCE.
"Do you think, Miss Ethel" he in
quired, TREMENDOUSLY, THAT could see
your father this EVENING""
81 hardly think so, Mr.. Lastyn," she
replied, with soft and not unbecoming
blush. "Papa is in the library with Mr..
Getthere and expect he will need me,
too, in few minutes. But / am sure
that any other evening papa would be
more than happy to have you call on
him. He is always pleased when young
people show him attention. Puck.
SPELL.
"Well, how is this, my dear SIR" in
quired the local practitioner; "you sent
me letter stating that you had been
attacked by smallpox and 1 find you
suffering from rheumatism.
"Well, you see, doctor, it's like this, 1"
said the patient; "there wasn't soul in
the house who could spell rheumatism.
Commercial.
ToNsoRIAL LOGIC.
In the BARRIERS chair:
Young Gent-Mighty straight hair
I've got?
Old Barber-Yes, sir.
Young Gent-What will make it curR
Old Barber-Got any money!
Young Gent-No.
Old Barber-Got a sweetheart
Young Gent-Yes.
Old Barber-She got any?
Young Gent-No.
Old Barber-Want to know what will
make your hair curll
Young Gent-les.
Old Barber-Get lnaffiedl
THE CRrTERIAN.
$50 you want to join my company 2"
said the manager OF. an unsubstantial
theatrical company to young man.
"Yes, sir.
"Ever had any experienced"
Eyes, sir"
"Wen, I'll test your capabilities.
Just pick up that trunk over there and
let me see how you would go about let
ting it out of the window. Merchant
Trdreller.
LOST on HER.
Obliging Guest Ito friend)-By Jove,
my little attentions have completely
mashed her! Isn't she charmingl
She Ito her friend He's the most
obliging and bestbred waiter l ever
saw.
A CuJID's ursrAvp
Gr.unt Jane (who paints)-Ha, Tommy!
{ ~onder what makes your cheeks look
| esber than mine2
L,Little TOMMY s'pose it's cause l
Pryen't worn 'em so long.-Judge.
PRACTISING.
Irst Omaha Man-Yon seem to feel
= jolly, John.
Second Omaha Mainline as silk;
took q lot of good healthy exercise to-
day; made me feel like new man.
Exercising this weather"
ooh, l wasn't ont doors. / was in the
house. lacking down carpets, putting
up stoves, fitting window shades and so
on"
"Eh? For your wife,
'Tm not married yet, but I'm going
to be. "-Omaha World.
A CONDENSED MILK COW.
"The COW that gives condensed milk,
l suppose you have one on the place,
Farmer Robinson" inquired his fair
city visitor.
"Well, no. Ye see, l sold her last
year because she would put her foot in
the can. "-Hdrp5m Post.
PERKINS LEFT.
"Miss Laura" said the young man
smilingly, ''may ask why you have
that string tied around your fingeri''
"That stringl" said the lovely girl,
rousing herself and removing it. "Why,
l put it on my finger to remind me that
you were coming this evening. 1 have
a shockingly poor memory, Mr.. Van
Perkins--What are you going al
readys 1 am so sorry. "-CHtcago Tri-
JuBe.
t t I.