St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-01-18

Nv NJ ~ elan Will be found
INK both instructive
n e ~ and entertaining.
N&6GlA The experiment
H5G0 n started off with a
,5VesAzlee=eGG- boom. One of the
-CC local papers al
~o luded to me as "a
S~ ~ handsome young
~ ~ fraud" and in two
days l had several
wealthy patients.
They were mostly elderly married
ladies who had been genteel lnvalldS
for many years. Ordinary common
sense told me that there was nothing
the matter with them. Fees of salts
factory size were forthcoming, and
ate three square meals day with
joy in my soul. / obtained number
of firSt-class genuine testimonials
from ladies who preferred the novel
charm of being miraculOuSly cured to
the wOrnout pleasure of being lncura-
BILE. Mrs. j. Blank Dash allowed her
pale but attractive cOuntenance to be
pictured in the papers, with the signed
statement that she had been victim to
melancholia and indigestion for five
years, and had eaten her first hearty
meal since taking my treatment, and
had been in good health ever since:
This was not only true-lt wasn't half
the truth, writes III. F. in the Chicago
Herald. In the first place, it was
ten years since she had become an
invalid-Only she didn't want to
give her age away: and, sec
| Ondly, after being persuaded that there
was more fun in wonderful rejuvena-
| ton through mental science, she went
out and had champagne supper with
her husband, and wanted to try kicking
| the globes off the chandelier afterward,
because l had said that she must take
''judiciouS exercise" j. Blank Dash
was jolly fellow who appreciated the
| great blessing of health in his family,
and he came round the next day after
the, champagne supper with big head
| and big check. He didn't mind the
head a bit, and l was very glad to get
| the check.
My Joy became full when Miss Win
ME Whitman Wheeler became my pa
| tient.
| WINNIE WAS 4 YOUTHFUL POETESS,
but she differed from the rest of them
in that she was pretty and well dressed.
| She came to my Office. accompanied by
an aunt of comfortable proportions. who
went to sleep in my large arm chair as
soon as / began to talk about ''beliefs
of diseases" and the unreality OF con-
sumption, Group, whOOping cough and
other uncomfortable but widespread
decisions. 1t appeared that the poetess
had "belief of gentle melancholy" l
mentally observed that she was the
healthieSt creature Oh the face of the
footstool; but my newly awakened pro-
feSSiOnal instinct told me that she
would make a good patient. l stole a
glance at the aunt. who cont nued to
sleep at the rate of forty miles all hour,
| and then suggested that we begin treat
ment at once.
You fear belief of consumption. /"
said L. Nov you must sit right down
beside me until you are convinced that
there is no such thing as consumption
in the world"
So we cuddled up in nice broad
window seat and proceeded to put our
minds on the subject before us.
THE best way to do it, said [. ''is to
| think of something wholly different.
There is also great deal in personal
influence of an occult nature, which /
will explain another time. Suppose you
give me your hand-that way; thanks.
Now we will talk of social matters
What S. the season going to be like in
W this year," asked, when heI
continue tie occult influences which
had previously been growing rather ma.
terial in places.
'.Oh. aunty, l feel better already
she said, SWeetly, while l nearly had
Mysteries for Joy.
"You had better come again day after
Tomorrow" said l, in the calmeSt tone
could muster.
They came on the day appointed and
many times afterwards. was greatly
interested in the patient, but the som
Violence of her aunt was a ''belief'
which / took care not to eradicate
Everything worked well until one even
ing when some mahgn individual saw
us sitting in the window in the gloam
ing hand in hand as usual. We were
observed thus and the secret was out.
| am almost too modest to relate the
sequel, but the solemn fact is that the
next day my office was crowded with all
THE OLD MAIDS
of the neighbOrhOOd who were able tC
get out of the house, and the others sent
delicate notes requesting me to call as
soon as convenient, as they were very
aghast. The manner left no doubt
that the sudden boom in bust
ness was due to the injudi
cious advertisement of the preceding
evening. With sudden resolution
made appointments with them all, anC
prepared to escape from the town under
the shadows of the coming night. The
belated sisters had no sooner filed out OF
my Office than young man entered
with wild look in his eye.
Il am very sick man." said he.
'You are mistaken" said 1; "all dis
ease is fallacy. 1t is merely belief
You are really well.'
''On the contrary" he broke in, SO
have just taken two tablespoonful o.
prussic acid and am likely to die any
minute unless your mind cure can save
me. At least, letmy last hours be peace
| full"
Peaceful be hanged! Mind cure b.
blowedw yelled, grasping patent firt
eXtinguisher. do you think Pm coins
to let such corpse as you are to b.
found on these premises? No, sir; I'vt
got business out of town, and if l wal
for your inquest one of those old maids
will catch me, and then the coroner will
sit on me too. Open your mouth while
pump that prussic acid out of you"
l sprang upon him, dashed him to tn,
floor, damned the big syringe into hi
mouth. grasped the handle, and in an
other moment would have turned thu
unfortunate man inside out, but tn,
door was burst in and his friends, VIII,
were in the joke, rushed upon me ant
rescued the victim. / saw that l hat
been duped, and my rage was bound
less. Dashing off hasty note t,
Winnie, fled the town, and thus endet
my professional experience.