Morning journal and courier., 1888-10-29
w E A RMN O.

"Well. what you wearin: glasses fur, Mr. Johnsingg" MT. Johnsing-"Fur my eyes, 1 sah! Did you s'pose wuz wearin' em fur de solica"-Opticisn.
 ''The Lord giveth cheerful lover" mur- mured Miss Wilker. 'No. that isn't right, H she added, ''but yet it has a pleasing sound. ."-Boston Transcript. A Boston merchant is so ardent lover of the gun that he gives three days week to field and forest. He even had his pock- cts rifled yesterday sy.-Bosten Courier.
 Bobby-'I know why it is that giddy peo- pie oad never live in heaven" Minister | ssWhy is it, Bobby9" Bobby-"Because they never could stand it to look down so far."- Detroit Free Press. "I washed Willie's pants t'udder day and dey shrunk so dat the pol chile kin ha'dly 1 walk in um. Won'sr how I gwan fix uma' ''Try washin' the chile Maybe he shrink too."-Harper's Young People ssAs an accomplished horsewoman," said I the reporter, notebook in hand, 'I presume l you ride bareback, occasionally" ''Ne sir, /" replied the star actress, with a lurid Hash of l indignation, ''when I ride always wear a | suitable wrap, sir"-Boston HeIald. Talking of faith cures, there is a man down | in Jersey who has Q regular dinner made of wood and painted to represent roast beef, 1 corn, potatoes tomatoes, etc. When dinner time comes he sits down and asks blessing | Then he consumes the viands with his eye | Draks's Magazine. Field Gin restaurant)- Brillat- Savarin said 1 Animals feed; men eat.' But only men of l brains know how to eat" Bacon-"Indeedf' Wsiter-"What will you have, sir2" Field-"Give me soma tripe and onions, | buckwhsat cakes and bottle of lager."- | Time.
 Habitant-''I wish to sell my house and l Iot'' Real estate agent-"All right, give me | description" Owner (next dayl-''Ive de- 1 cided not to sell that place." Agent | ssWhst's upa" Owner-"After reading your advertisement on its advantages I couldn't l think of parting with such propsrty..- Chicago Globe.
 Why, Bessie, child, you're looking ill., case of measles, I'll be bousd Or scarlet fever, which is worse; They tell me it's going around" q think know what's wrong mamma." | The child with mild demureness satd The chicken-pox is what I've got found fsdder in my bed.' A St. Louis doctor has removed the brains l from dozen different frogs and healed the wound and let them go. They went off as If l nothing had happened out of the usual, and it was plain that they had lost nothing of value A frog which depended on his brains instead of his legs would stand mighty poor show in puddle near a school house.-De- troit Free Press.
 Salesman-"Tbose confounded dress goeds don't go off worth cent. They've been in stock now for over year and we haven't sold more than fifty yards all told." Pro- prietor-f'What did they cost uss' ssThirty- five cents, and I've been offering them for 8 quarter" "Why not try them on the bar gain counterF' fAll right. And. MT. Tat- ing, mark them at seventy-nine cents. We must get rid of them some way. y."-Boston Transcript.
 The busy campaign orator
 Improves each shining hour
 By aping old Demosthenes
 With superhuman power.
 Because he loves his party so,
 Is that what makes him holler?
 Well, not this year; 'tis because
 Of the coin that he doth collar.
 New York Journal