The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1888-03-17

You are requested to answer al
once the following questions
"Where were you born, and when
month, year and dayP
"Who was your fatherp
"Who was your mother?
"Were they married or singleP
care you married or single?
IF married, what was your wife's
maiden name, and her fathers Chris
ian nameP
'Have you any children
eff you have, what are their names
and agesp
What have you written for tn e
pressP by whom published? and over
what signature?
"What are you writing now? what
do you propose writing in the future?
and for whom?
do your publishers pay You any,
thing? and if so, how much?
Where were you educated, if at
alp
What is your income, if you have
any? What is your postoffice address?
Do you 60 out of town summers, or do
you board up the front door and live
in the back roomsP
"How tall are youp What is your
complexion, build. and temperament?
''What are your habits while writing?
"Do you write best by day or by
nightP
"Do you write just so much a day,
or do you wait for inspirations Do you
Use stmulants while writing?
"What sort of pen, ink and paper do
you useP"
This was not all, but it may suffice.
hurried to my wife's chamber with
these letters in my hand.
BE calm, my dear!'' / said, the mo-
ment l got the door open. at is some
mistake. All will come right. Only
don't weep for that would unman
met
Mrs. Jones shrek ed. "What is it?
What has harpenedP Have you eaten
that piece of cheese with the Rats
farewell on FTP Oh! oh! l will get some
black coffee as soon as possible! 1 will
bring the white of an egg! Betty shall
60 for the doctor!''
I explained as well as 1 could, hold
Ing my wife tightly. with my hand
over her mouth. cit is not poison my
lear. 1t is some police business. Some
other man of the name of Jones has
probably profited by my reputation to
publish an actionable article about
somebody. Here! read for yourself"
Igave her the letters, and she read
them, at first with perplexity. then
with sudden illumination.
"Why, you great goose"' she ex-
slammed. Its because you are cele-
brated. People want to know all
about you. Our house will be pointed
out We shall be pointed out; and
hey will describe my bonnets and
gowns.
] felt my jaw drop.
'.But they ask how old I am" I said,
after having read the letters carefully
over again. ''And they don't apollo
gize. You don't ask q persons age
without some sort of polite grimace, if
you have the face to ask it at all. That
was established before we were born.
And do you see ? They threaten mem
l read out passage which plainly
Informed me that if did not give the
Information asked. it would be sought
elsewhere, and might not be such as l
would like to see in print
"Of courser' said my wife, complac-
sntly. 1.-The public insists on knowing
about you; and the men have no choice.
It's like the Prime Dome with Young
men dragging their carriage home
rom the opera; or President just
elected called out into the balcony to
make speech:"
ut is very high-handed proceed
ing" 1 said, becoming stiff
But, Mr.. JONES'" my wife insisted,
1.-THE public wishes to know"
Il won't tell them" I declared, get
ting hot. sit is indicate in the high
est degree. What can my article on
political economy have to do with your
fathers name, or with the length of
my legs. or the extent of nv income,
Or where l was born, or if | take
stimulants, or what my publishers pay
me? It's none of their business ~
My wife laid her hand impressively
on my arm. and measured her words
out with precision. ''If you do not
tell them what they wish to know,
they will put you down ten years older
than you are; and they will say that
you were born of poor, but honest,
parents They will say that you edu-
catedyourself, and hoed potatoes with
a Latin grammar strapped to the hoe
handle. They will say that we keep
house in two rooms; and that you mar
ried one of those smart girls who SPAR
kle (and ache, poor thingsD beh nd
the counters of Worth. Nothing & Co.
How would you like that, sirP How |