Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-05-03
The St. Lawrence and the Rio Grande.

fisherfolks. l always like to mingle
with the people of the country 1 am
visiting. In my youth l was told that
/ should do at Rome. rs the Romans
do. and usually try to do SO; but should
l make the attempt here l would have
to saturate myself in goldfish, talk cod
fish. eat Goldfish, smell of Goldfish. and
sing God Save the Queen" on the
slightest provocation. So l know l
never could be any thing but tender.
foot here. Now it was different in Tex
rs. When went there. got 'accli-
mated before was in the state two
days. One could conform to habits,
customs and surroundings there with
out affecting ones physical comfort or
knocking the hoops of ones coscience.
l don't think / ever told you about
how l became Texan in two min
utes.
Well, this would be about rs good a
time rs any other to tell it. would
much rather write about Texas than
about this ragged and ugly Looking
country Wish l was on the back of II
mustangnow, out on the western plains.
instead of sitting here on tins hard rock
Oh "a foreign strand"
When first went to Texas l was ac-
companied by an obtruslve English ac-
cent and pair of speckled trousers
that invited harsh criticism. 1t was at
place called Colum bus that / made
my debut rs tenderfoot. Besides my
accent and the ostentatious trousers. /
carried with me n very high estimate
of myself, and l considered it to be my
duty as subject of Victoria De- gra-
tia, to let the hordes of Texas barbar-
ians know that l was Il person of inn
portance.
At Columbus wanted TO buy II horse,
rs it was NV intention to ride from that
place to the Rio Grande. While sitting
on the veranda of the little wooden
hotel, | dropped my naughty patrlcian
for Il time and couversed with Il num-
Der of cowboys, who were stopping at
the place. | did not hesitate to express
my contempt for the Texan horses |
had seen. | made facetiOus remarks
regarding the ungrateful manner in
which the Texan rode, and | was sar-
castle in the matter of the Texas
saddle. In Texas fools sometimes
rush in where despcrudoes fear to
tread.
The cowboys asked me what was the
best way to ride, and what kind OF
horses did we have in M country. l
told them that rode with II long STIR
rup. related exploits wherin figured
as winning steeplcchaIe across II stiif
country in the west of Ireland. and L
told of some horses / had owned
phenomenal horses, with pedigrees
running away back to the dark ages.
Even to this day. whenever | think of
an ass | demonstrated myself to DO on
that occasion, | make an effort to
blush.
The cowboys seemed TO take
all l said good-naturedly, and
they made no comment. The
head cowboy, however looked tired
and asked the others to take a drink.
He invited me to join them. When we
arrived at the bar said would take n
glass of claret.
be he'd like it in silver goblet, with a
strawberry or an oyster in it. as he
| accustomed TO in his ancestral castle at
home. Oh, he's daisy, / tell you.
Barkeeper. the tenderfoot II take some
whisky, same as the rest of us. l reckon
that's what he'll take.
A still small voice within me whisp-
cred that whisky was, under the cir
cumstances, the thing for me to take,
and took it.
Want to buy horse. you say, ehp"
Yes" replied, Il want good
steady horse. :"
"Oh. no. you want IL bucking broncho
that't what you want"
"What is bucking bronchop"
Don't know, ehP"
No"
"Then that's ee-kzactly what you
want Amt it, boysP"
Chorus of boys-''You just bet your
sweet life"
Thd result was that the chief pirate
sold me dismal looking plug, a saddle
and bride for $50 When 1 got ready
to leave the, boys were all standing
around to see me off. Sarcastic re-
UluThS WeTe nluuo ABOUT Tie DblHR u
'steeplechaser 'wav back, and the
crowd was requested to give me room
to spread myself. l got into the saddle
and was gathering up the reins. when
the wretched parody of horse rose in
the air, bent his back like bow. and
came down again with all his four feet
in bunch under his centre of gravity.
did not Mt that moment seem TO have
any centre of gravity of my own.
There was vague idea in my brains
that the earth in its diurnal whirl had
slipped a cog or in its wild climb
around the sun had stumped its toe.
These thoughts were simultaneous with
the sensation of being hit with some
thing. l knew in moment that it was
the earth OF which we live. for nothing
smaller than globe %. ZOO miles in
circumference could have gwen me such
II cold, harsh. stunning bat on the ear.
When l got to my feet shook the
sand out of nv hair. and hung horse
blanket around my splintered garments
II ~. I.1