Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-08-02
THE GOOD OLD TIMES.

THE GOOD OLD TIMES.
Farmer Blewitt was little, dried-up,
irascible man, and he used to wear
red comforter around his neck and
red flannel earlappers on his plug hat
when he went to meeting in winter.
He was always ready to argue that
these modern times were awfully bad,
and that the good old times of a hun
dred years ago were just right. He
would decry invention and improve
ment and say that the world would
be better without them. He took
newspaper on purpose to count the
murders in it and tell how bad the
world had grown. He would stand
for hours on a corner in the village
and retail his deductions on the pres
ent and his regrets for the past.
One day he had whipped the minis
ter in argument, and as he had his din
ner and the minister had gone away
mad and the women were at work in
the kitchen, he tipped back in his
chair, drew a red silk handkerchief
over his head to keep off the flies and
went to sleep. He had not slept over
five minutes before his son John came
in and said:
"Come, father, we must get at that
piece of wheat and cut it.
Blewitt got up and yawned and fol-
lowed his son to the barnyard, where
his two sons sat on log filing couple
of sickles.
''What in the nation are you doing
with those old sickles?" said Blewitt.
One of the boys looked astonished
and said: ''Doin'? Why, we are get
ting ready to cut the wheat
| BIewitt stared u momont and then
said: ''Why in thunder don't you hitch
on to the reaper and stop foolin' with
them sickles?"
The boys looked at each other in
surprise, but said nothing. Blewitt ran
! to the shed, but there was no reaper
| there. He came back. The boys had
| got over the fence and were on their
knees reaping the wheat and carrying
| it in gavels.
Boys, said Blewitt, ''what do you
mean by this foolishness? Where is
that reaper?n
Charley, the second boy, looked at
his father pityingly and then tapped
his forehead and looked over to John,
who nodded and looked sad
''Why. darn it, said Blewitt, you
can never run those bundles through q
threshin' machine
"Threshin' machine,n said Charley;
''why you know as well as l do that l
will have to fail this wheat out morn
ing and night while going to school
| this winter. What ails you, father?'
| Blewitt, as we said, got mad easily,
and now he just hoped up and down
and said:
''Flail it out! 1t must be threshed
ready to ship on the cars next month. :"
Gears, cars said John. Don't
| know what ailS you, father, or what
| you mean. l know | shall have to
team this wheat down to Albany and
sell it for what it will bring. Here you
come out talkin' about reapers and
cars and threshin' machines, and darn
ed if l don't believe you are crazy, so
| nowr'
Blewitt pinched himself to see if he
was asleep, and strobe angrily to the
house. AS he approached it he heard
a roaring and rumbling like the wind,
and he looked into the kitchen and
there was his wife spinning. Who-o-o
went the big wheel, and Blewitt sank
into chair and yelled:
Now, Maria, what under the cano-
ply are You doin'?'
''Doin'?" said his wife, ''why, spin
min, of course. must get out forty
yards of full-cloth for YOU an the boys
and twenty yards of pressed flannel
for me and the gals
Blewitt looked down at his legs and
saw them incased in full-cloth of coarse
| texture, and the seat of his trowsers he
felt reached clear up to his shoulder
blades, and the legs were as wide as
two-bushel sacks.
"Wen, I'll be darned!" was all he
said.
Dreamily he sauntered out again to
! the wheat-feld, and John halted him.
Father, if you amt going to help
cut the wheat suppose you yoke the
| oxen and 90 up to the woods and draw
draft or two of logs for woodm
Blewitt was composed but he said:
II had intended to burn coal in the
sitting-room and parlor, and not cut
much wood
| Goal, coalr' said John. angrilv;
''now, see here, father, | don't want
any more of this foolish talk. I am
| going to get DOCTOR
Blewitt began to think he needed
one himself. Here his boys had never
heard of reaper or 4 threshing ma
chine or cars. He felt of his fuli-cloth
pants and groared. On the lounge at
the house he laid himself down and
tried to calmly think things over.
| When the doctor came he called for a
pail and barred Blewitt's arm He took
out his lance, and then Blewitt groan-
! ed again.
Il must take gallon of blood . said
the doctor, land then he will calm
down and be all right
Don't you know bleedin' was play
: cd ont fifty wears arop'' said Hewitt