The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1888-06-16
"FOLKS is GURUS"

celyeo Mt newspaper ONCE. FER
haps the one most familiar invariably
leads off with: Il have made up my
mind to be writer. and wish you to
give me some information as to how I
shall proceed" What can you do in
such case? You don't want to hurt
PERSONS feelings by advising him to
learn the blacksmith's trade instead.
and you don't want to encourage one
who seems to have jumped clean
over grammar and geography without
touching heel, and so the best
way seems to be to write him as fol-
lows:
There is no doubt you could be-
come writer in time, bnt it would
take you several years to get start
and by that time the pay will have
been reduced to a mere nothing. 1t
would be much wiser for yon to study
law. 1t won't cost you much to be-
come a lawyer and the fees are
larger and the pay sure. From what
We can Judge of your character by
your letter you would make famous
criminal lawyer and accumulate a
fortune in short time"
don't know whether this pleasant
little fiction deceives any of them or
not, but it turns their thoughts into
other channels. which is good thing.
and it lets them down easy, which is
another good thing, and if any one
of them ever becomes a great lawyer
ard gathers in riches he will thank me
for it. Another familiar style of letter
starts off with:
This is the first sketch l ever at
tempted. All my friends think it tip
top. l have been engaged in office
work paving me $40 per week. but l
am now going to write exclusively for
the press and magazines. How much
ought l to earn per weekp All my
friends say it is as good as anything
Jules Verne or Charles Dickens ever
wrote. If you accept the sketch. please
publish in next issue and send me 100
extra copies.
The sketch is absolutely worthless.
There is neither pith nor point. But
you are not going to be honest and
candid with that young man. If you
were, you'd make him an enemy for
life. You must pat him on the back
| about as follows:
tAm truly sorry that your sketch is
not exactly in our line. as it will be
sure TO have a great run when publish
ed. If we were running to that vein
we'd give you $40 for it without ques-
ton. If 1 were you I'd try the Neo
York World, Herald or Stn. Then try
Harper'S and the Century, Some of 'em
will want it and be willing to pay a
good price. Don't be too anxious to
sell, and by all means reserve the
copyright"
A great deal of poetry Is sent in. as
is right and proper. No issue of a
newspaper should 60 to press without
at least one poem in it. Poetry is a
good thing. 1t will 60 down to the
heart where prose only rakes along the
cuticle, and nothing will make a burg
lar abandon job lie has laid out so
quickly rs BIT of poem taking him
back to his mothers knee and his
childhood home. But the great trouble
is to sft out the worthy from the un-
worthy and keep everybody satisfied.
When woman has "dashcd off these
few verses she isn't going to let you
dash en- into tho waste basket and
escape scot free. That poem Is &C
cording to her line of reasoning. just
as good poem rs any mortal man or
woman has ever produced. 1t may be
out of measure and rhythm to you, but
it reads as smooth as glass to her. No
sensible man will return poem with
ont explanation, nor with Rejected"
written across it. Such things have
been done without killing off the news
| paper under two years, but the
chances are that it will droop and die
inside of six months, especially if the
poetess belongs 10 three or four social
clubs. The proper caper is to sit down
and write her:
lit pains us to be obliged to return
your little gem. VIII CHI deserves place
in the cyclopedia of Poets. Last
year was made contract with three
poets to supply us W TIL all that sort of
matter we have room to publish; and
as you would want at least $25 for the
inclosed, financial reasons oblige us to
return il. Do not again offer it to a
newspaper. 1t is too good for casual
readers. 1t should 60 to q magazine of
high literary merit, there TO be publish
ed on the choicest page and read to be
remembered when such impostofs as
Swinburne and Moore are long forgot
ton. We shall preserve your address
| for future reference, and it is needless
to say we wish you every success in OBJ
tanning tho fame you justly deserve. !"
Her first impulse on finding her poem
returned is to upset chairs, break win
dows and kick the cat out of the back
door, but she has not perused four lines
of that letter before the red leaves the
back of her neck and she begins to
emile. 1t is scarcely finished before
she scoots out of the back gate to show
it TO neighbor. and thenceforth for
ever more her subscription to the paper
will not be allowed to expire.
And there is callow youth in the
inter or of the State who writes
period cally as follows:
Enclosed are some newspaper arti-
cles-mv poorest work as correspond
ent of The Age. want situation on
your paper as a reporter Reporting is
my forte. I have been told great
many times that could do better re-
portorial work than ever saw in your
paper. / can also WI tie politics. am
willing to come for $50 por week as q