The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1888-12-20
HUMOROUS

quius.
Takes the will for tho deed-The sur
rogate.
A full stop-Asleep on the sidewalk
at 1 a. m.
The dancing master should be quick
at figures.
Usually seen on his last legs-The
kangaroo.
Always turning over a new leaf
Librarians.
Motto of real estate en-"Deeds,
not words"
Applicants for loans generally adopt
q borrow-tone.
There is nothing like bolt for break.
ing dead d-lock.
Tho wind now whistling through the
corn fields has husky tone.
A hew and cry usually follow tho
small boys acquisition of pocket
knife.
A rock salt bed has been found in
Michigan, but most men prefer hair
mattress for real comfort.
Goods in tho hands of a merchant
who docs not advertise are like row.
boats. They have no sale.
The car stove is back from its sum.
NOR vacation and will soon be heard
from in railway accidents.
Nature is just with compensation for
losses. The toothless man is not apt to
bite off more than he can chew.
II like Paris" said Mrs. Mulh
'them Two lure, and Boys de Bol
and Champs Elias is immense"
Tho girl with six-foot sweett
said that she wouldn't tell story, but
sho couldn't help but "draw long
beau"
Tho only thing that can down true
genius and curb genuine inspiration is
pen that catches in the paper and exc.
cutcs design in splatter work at every
third stroke.
A wealthy young lawyer spent two
days and night over one case, and at
the end of that time could not tell
which side he was on. 1t was 3 case
Of champagne.
First amateur Nimrod -"It is getting
late, and we haven't killed anything
yet" Second Amateur Nimr od-
"Well, let us miss couple more rab-
bits and then 90 home
He had just joined the light battery
and was telling his Lest girl OF the feet.
Then he kissed her. "What are you
doing, sira" she asked. "Only making
a report at headquarters"
Miss Koanc Qo handsome young
physician) oh, doctor, how do you dot
You lock killing this evening. Young
Physician (quictly)-Thank you, but
Pm not I'm off duty, don't you know7
A young rcdskiu schoolboy was asked
tho other day what is the highest form
of animal life. "Tho giraffe" was the
prompt reply of the lad, who had owl
IDENTIFY been taking in the circus of the
pale face.
A lady having remarked in company
that she thought there should be a tax
on the single state-"Yes, madam, re-
joined most notable specimen Of the
uncompromising old bachelor who was
present, ''as on other luxuries.D
Miss Floy Trappe (whoso mouth is
undeniably largc) Nellie, Wilt Dew
said last night that my mouth had
sweet expression. Do you suppose he
meant that for sarcasmi Miss Prunclla
Prism-I am afraid so, dear; with an
accent on tho chasm!
Wife (at breakfast table)-Georgc,
dear, why do ALI the defaulting bank
cashiers from the far West go to Can
adal Husband (who is Emeritus pro-
fessor of geography)-Bccause, my
dear, though there is less longitude
there is more latitude.
Gentlemen" said an indignant
passenger on a South Side cable car
yesterday, twill none of you get up aud
give this old lady a seatf' 'T'll thank
you sir" snapped the lady, ITO attend
to your own affairs. l am not as old as
you are by twenty years, if I'm any
judge of person's age"