The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1888-01-04

some preachers are mighty game on
some lines. A little Method ct racking
off behind pitcher preaching infant
baptism hard as he can lam it, and the
children sound asleep and grown people
going to hell. And the Episcopalian
ringing the changes of apostolic success
sion-where they come from. i wish
he would tell me where they ere going
to. And the Presbyterian going it as
hard as he can on the final persever-
ance of the saints. And the Baptist
crying: water! water !" and half their
crowd going where they can't get a
drop!
HAVE been there. This evening 1
kissed my wife good-by. L never do SO
without looking at her pale face.
Through rum and rum traffic of Cart
ersvil!e-I wallowed in its shame and
sin for three years after | was married
i took the color from her face and
JOY out of her heart, and while God
blesses my home with peace and Joy
tonight say have never seen my
wife's face look red with color since
the day L drew that blood from her face
by the consciousness that she was u
drunkard's wife. God pity man who
doesn't fight whisky.
HEARD fellow say once that he
heard of buck that had horns six feet
across run through thicket q mile q
minute where the trees were only
eighteen inches apart. tell you what
makes me believe that. / have seen
an old preacher get up with ideas as
thick as straw in q harvest field, with a
mouth eighteen or twenty inches across,
and run through Gods moral univer Q
u mile minute for an hour and half
and never hit single idea. That is
what makes me believe that deer story.
L HAVE said frequently there are too
many animals In this world for the
amount of human beings we have You
see an animal that looks like man. He
.marries n wife and has children to call
him father. He presents himself to the
world as a man. and you take an auger
and bore into him and you wouldn't go
more than half an inch before you
would strike as pure dog as ever was
found on this earth.
SOME men are so in the habit of tell
ing lies that they couldn't tell the truth
at three fair trials. Truth is always
uppermost-readyt to come out. A lie
has to be manufa ctured. 1t is easier 10
tell the truth than to tell lie. You
can tell one lie and it may take a
thousand to cover it up. Some people
would cover it up if it took a million.
If man tells the truth that's the last
OF it.
IF solemn preaching would have
saved the world We would have had our
wings and been off to glory loag ago.
There have been enough solemn SER
mons in Atlanta to have made this city
suburb of the New Jerusalem. Good
old solemn brother! I'd just as soon
hear bumb.e-bee tumble around for
an hour
How MANY preachers slide with the
world, and when preachers says
something, whine, "I'm sorry he So id
it." When the devil gets little
preacher like that down in hell he vi Ill
saddle and bride him and ride him
around and say: "This is my little
sorry he said it.
II is said that every honest man has
patch of hair growing in the palm OF
his hand. Look at your palm. Every
man present who has that patch OF hair
stand up. Nobody rose. If 1 had
some in my hand l d feel lonesome in
this crowd.
GoD has not made something out OF
nothing since the evening of the sixth
day. What man has in him will de-
termine largely how long It will take
him to "git there" Some people have
more in them just after dinner than at
any other time.
Some have been looking in the
Louisiana lottery for bargains. / don't
mind seeing rascal lose his money,
but hate to see fool lose his. That
hurts my feeln Every gentleman
present who has never bought / ttery
ticket stand up.
WHAT would prohibition have been
if it hadn't been for Recorder Ander.
son? He has been the bulwark that
has stood up aga nst the onslaught OF
earth and hell. If we both get tc
heaven / want to settle on corner LOT
right opposite him.
AN old woman once said to me
"You talk more foolishness than any
preacher l ever saw. SISTER" said
/, do you know what foolishness is ?"
what is it ?" said she. ats stuff you
rub on FOOLS" said i.
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