The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1888-01-04
Funny Foiblss and Psculiarities Of . FamOusly
Funny Fellow.
Robert BrOzning's POstry-Ths Man Of 300
WOrds-MIxsd Estsphur.
Russian Literature and the Eyss-A Nsw
England Faith Cure.
How He Fetched Her-A Tale of the
Railroad-The Owner of il ALI
Etc.
written for the sentinel.)
A MIsERLY POET.

MIsERLY POET
Robert Browning says when he writes a
poem, the first thing he does is 10 get his
ides, then he keeps it. That's what his
readers complain Of; he should not keep
it, he should put it into his poem.
THE NAN OF 300 WORDS.
On, no, nay son, oh, no. Because you
can land often do monopolize the CONVEX
sation of the entire party does not prove
that your vocabulary is rich and varied.
A man with twenty nickels can count
them over and over a million times, but
that doesn't make him q millionaire. Not
by dictionary full.
THE WEAK FEATURE IN LABOR UNIONS.
What the working class OF the United
States need and demand, is the hire edu-
cation. The iaborer is worthy of his higher
wages.
MINED METAPHOR.
Everybody in the church, except the
new pastor himself, seemed to enjoy it
when he lost the place in his manuscript,
and while hunting for it spoke Of "Esau,
who sold his message for birth of pot.
right"
EXCEPT THE CONSULAR BANQUETs.
There isn't an American bank in Next.
CO. Too far from CanadaH Oh, no, that
isn't the reason. The Government won't
give the Gringos a charter. And what do
the GTingos do about it2 They say, 1--WE
care not who runs the banks of the coun-
try, SO long as we make all the money"
IT WOULD RUIN THE EYES OF A POTATO.
Not less than , 600 Russian soldiers are
in the hospitals of the Odessa district, I'M
der treatment for various forms of oph.
tbalmia. The beggarsl if they don't quit
reading Russian books they'll go stone
blind altogether. The human eyes can't
stand everything.
FAITH CURE IN NEW ENGLAND.
A faith cure fake is in session down at
Newb1ryport (pron ounced NoobryprtI
Mass. The performers announce Them
selves as ready to perform miracles to Or
der. People having in their possession
will do well to call on the NoObryprt con-
vention before going elsewhere. Prices as
low as the lowest, and all miracles gusran-
teed. Long-standing and obstinate cases
of faith cured by expert faith healers in
one application. Beware OF counterteits;
no cases genuine without the name OF the
healer blown IN the miracle. Rudimen-
tary minds also cured and warranted never
to return.
But he FETCHED her.
at the inquest it was shown that the en-
by the mighty force OF the explosion,
although, as the engine was standing still,
the fire very low, and less than seventy
pounds of steam on, it seemed impossible
that there could be sufficient power to pro-
duce such results. The testimony of the
baggage master, however, threw some light
on the subject. "When got into the sta
tioD," ne said, "I found 1 was one piece
short, and went back to the car to look for
: I fo1
lantern, / reached out and caught hold of
what / supposed was an iron handle and
pulled. The trunk, If it was the
trunk did not move. pulled again, Gand
heard the engineer say What in thunder
is rocking this engine so?' I then took
hold with both hands, brsced my feet, gave
one Jerk, when the explosion followed and
The trunk came Always" This, coupled
with the testimony of the station agent,
that he bsggsgemaster came into the bag
gage room carrying section of iron boiler
weighing about 2, 700 pounds, TemaTking
as be threw il down that it was the tough
est BANGKOK he had andled this year, and
must be half a ton over weight, convinced
the Jury that the cause of the explosion is
less mystery than an appalling matter of
wonder.
BE ALWAYS MOVES FIRST.
Mr.. Tonguetied, who married a school
teacher who can not only speak three Ian
guages, but can and does speak them on
occasion, all at once, says he is now deeply
interested in the solution of an insoluble
check her problem.
TALE OF THE RAILROAD.
There was man eat in front of me all
the way TO Medford. He spake 70 word,
so ne might have been dumb, but he made
no sign, so he certainly wasn't. or all
the loquaci0us, chattering mortals in
ali this garruloUs old world, a deaf
and dumb man is the worst chatterbox
in the lot. 1 never knew one who
could keep quiet ten minutes. They talk
with their eyes, lips. cheeks and hands,
they talk with their feet and sing with
their noses. Certainly this was no deaf
and dumb man. He twirled his thumbs
and locked out OF the window, silent,
observant, sensible, traveller. Thumbs were
made to twirl, and windows we're made TO
look through. When the train reached
MedfoTd-
(Which MedfordP
There is but one Medford, thou of the
simple mind. When the train reached
Medioad, this traveller turned to me and
said:
Rum old place, eh2''
/ smote him TO the earth, and turned
and fed. Down darkening streets, away
from the sight of men, into the shadowy
glooms of Roadscraper's barber shop; but
the horrihed face of the SLAIN man followed
me, and haunted me and will haunt me to
my dYeiDg day, which won't be very long.
II my overcoat tans much more in these
November suns.
Medford is an old, old village, but not
nearly so old as some of the Jokes that are
made about 1t. The famous-or, il the
editor prefer, infamous-rum, that made
the nsme of the pretty village household
word from Dan to Harker's Corners is said
to be an article of such remarkable purity
that ID Is Notwithstanding, il taken in
doses of ten drops of rum to q barrel of rain
water. However, it Is seductive beverage,
Endorsed and used by the clergy. The
clergy that Endorsed it and used
it, however, is dead--desd. and
gone to join the caravan of
good men who drank Medford rum, hanged
witches, whipped Quakers, and pilloIied
Baptists. They are all dead, and their
children, who are much better and far
pleasanter people than were their fathers,
inherit the land. They keep right on in
heriting IL, too. The old distillery stands
as of yore-yore means some time ago
and Mtdford rum still-under favorable
circumstsRces-can make the bsir curl on
the knotty brow of q railroad tie, but
MedfoTd village has nsught TO do with the
adversary, and prospers and blooms like q
garden OF roses, and. save for my hasty and