San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1888-11-19
HORRORS OF HASHISH.
A REPORTER EXPERIMENTS ON HIM
SELF WITH THE DRUG.

Strange Condition Into Which the Drug
Throws Its victim-Awkward Feeling
of Duality-The Waking.
An hour had passed, when of a sudden
there shot through every pulse a thrill I'M
speakable, choking like that of first love.
| knew at last the wizards wonder working
hand was upon me- Every nerve was
tingle and the only relief was to tighten
every muscle and sinew to a tension that
seemed like to wreck me. The blood rushed
in vast and ever growing volume to my brain
and the room was whirling like a fywheel.
At my throat and heart was that strangling
clutch. There was taste on my tongue as
if | had drank from Leyden jar, and con-
Stunning thirst was upon me. | wondered
what penalty must be paid for thus tryingI
to steal over the back fence into paradise. |
The dear, bread and butter commonplace
seemed the one thing admirable. Fear grew
with the minutes The sense Of isolation was
awful No one was in the same world with
me- l must enter upon the abyss alone.
A friend came in at the door and could
have screamed for Joy. wanted to fall upon
his neck Again, Like a cold chill, came theI
knowledge he can do nothing In voicel
which sounded strange and louder than com |
mon gave him greeting, then fell back intol
the chair and went on holding the book be- |
fore me. 1t seemed as though l should fly inl
atoms, yet, with mighty effort l made a
pretense Of talking to him about the weather
Feet and hands were growing numb. The
first sensation of heat had departed. Now
the marrow was all gone from my bones, and
through the osseous chambers q cold wind
crept The clutohing at my heart was as
hideous as death. / felt the center Of life
within me freezing up. A great weight held
me. To speak was to utter few ponderous
and Arctic syllables, and the st. lips took
an age to form theh.' The movem mt Of an
arm was like the motion Of a vast machine
| was freezing Yet all the time, with
mighty rhythm, the blood kept beating to my
brain. Drowsiness came ON, and yet closed
eyes would bring no sign of sleep
VISIONS OF ANOTHER SELF.
Here, with the fading eye Of reason, l
could trace the first sense of that duality
which hashish gives. The self material and
the self spiritual seemed gundered and NOV
ing in different worlds The more violent
the dose the more completely is the outer
nature subdued, until familiar surroundings
are swallowed in the vision. 1t is an incred-
ible characteristic of hashish intoxication or
delirium that whatever visions you see YOU
never seem to see them, but, as it were, to see
Yourself seeing them In all your wander
ings you cannot be alone. There is a sense of
cOmpanionship-of an attendant, familiar.
yet strange. In an instant there is flashed
upon you the knowledge of that duality; that
companion is your other self.
The sense OF duality is doubly apparent in
the talk and action of one under the spell of
hashish His ordinary consciousness of per-
sons and things about him is little impaired
Though he lies as in Stupor, and exclaims
drowsily at the visions before him, the
slightest question will receive ready an
swer, but in a vexed Tone as to say: $50
away and let me alone" The hearing is
maryelouSly fine 1t seems as if all the out
ward senses were alert and even had ra-
tionality working behind them, while from
the disjected utterances of the sleeper you
may know that behind closed lids he moves
in land of wonders manifold.
When trying to talk sense, he knows his
speeches are broken and wandering. IL is a
common expression Of the hashish eater,
waking or sleeping: II know | am making a
fool of myself, but l can't help it" The
thought is for an instant, clear and acute
upon any subject suggested, but then the
ideas flee from utterance, and in their pur-
suit the victim gets tired and tangled, and in
a moment cannot tell what the subject was.
Out at the far confines of space there was
a great flaming sickle of gold and of infinite
circumference. 1t grew smaller and smaller.
Its point curled ever inward The glitter
ing, wavy edge seemed to smile, while 10
slow music it grit me closer and painlessly,
softly as though were of air. | felt myself
bisected at the equator. The two whirling
hemispheres passed away in opposite direc-
lions into space Looking back upon this
and other things marvel how they could
have been so real To sense it seems absurd.
Yet the further pass from that strange ex-
perience the more distinct, more vivid, more
glorious grows its memory; the more its in
cipient horrors grow small in estimate and
are crowded out of remembrance.
THE SCENE GROWS soMBER.
twas drifting downward, heavy with the
mist that came-f=aSl' lie ecE%.E2 caverns be-