The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1888-07-06
Bill Nye and a Book Agent.
THE FELLOW ACTUALLY TRIED TO SELL
WILLIAM ONE OF HIS OWN BOOKS.

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THE FELLOW ACTUALLY TRIED TO SELL
WILLIAM ONE OF HIS OWN BOOKS.
Yesterday l had personal conflict
of bitter and acrimonious nature with
an unknown person on my grounds at
Staten leland. desire to speak of 1t
myself rather than have the matter get
into the papers in garbled state. no
live in quiet portion of the Island
just within sight of the Produce Ex-
change tower, but beyond the reach of
the night air of New York. Here we
have civilization on one hand. and the
wild whoop of Buffalo Bills. savages
on the other. just near enough to
make'it exciting " eN
/ did not think would be annoyed
here by peddlers, beggars and fakirs
Yesterday plain, sad maj. rung the
door bell. He told my representative
that he desired very much to meet me,
and presented his card. The name was
not familiar to me, but l put on my
other coat and invited him into the
cold, cold parlor to which I invite
people who do not come highly indors.
ed. . .... ..ff.E ..r. I..-.r'.. ....... o..
He was rather quiet and sad in spots.
Isympathized with him, for l know
what it is to be sad. ai aN lls] nc
He had letter of introduction, he
said, from well-kno wn litterateur and
oonfrere of mine, which he begged
leave to- present. | read it. 1t introduc4
ed the bearer in the usual form aud
begged me to treat him kindly, and
stated that any favor. shown to him
would be gladly reoiprocated.efI then
told the stranger that we had pleas.
anter room than that and would be
glad to have him come in and sample
it. ...u Hl. "a. ti .rs ,1na
SNOW" said !, touching an. electric
bell aud ordering a large watermelon,
"what can l do for you? Would you
like to visit the Woman's Exchange, or
would you rather give yourself up to
an afternoon with me at Vanderbilt 's
tomb"
He said that he did not wish to take
up my time. He had only called on a
matter OF business, and would not de
tain me but a moment. He then drew
from its concealment somewhere about
his person ethe prospectus for a,sub-
scription book, and before / could stop
him had said: "We purpose in this
work to treat of everything that people
want to know about. 1t has statistics
limit, but they are so presented tina.
you ike them. You read along down
the long columns with the keenest en-
joyment There is thread of interest
running through these tabulated state.
ments which makes you sit up till long
after 9 o'clock reading them. All the
book is socked iull ofinterest and thrill
and yet it would not harm any one t.
read it. That is not all. 1t is reliable
Every remark in it is backed up by
statements 1t comes just at time
when every one is doubling the author
ship Of other books and gives to one
and all a feeling of confidence and as
surance when faith is wavering ant
the reader is groping and clutching fol
something tangible and stable. Thi
is essentially "a stable book. 1t tell
) how-to break colts, how to treat crib
bers, bolts, aud army worms, how t,
bring up children and put down huck
leberries, how 10 treat a setting hel
during convalescence, how to make
cook stove or a eistern pump draw
how to write for the papers, how t,
keep ants out of the pantry, how t
make parents self-supporting, how t,
put up lambrequin or put down
carpet, how to purify politics or max
floating island, how to modify the tar
iffI or make a. good, durable style o
pork brine that will not smell like
; delayed autopsy in dog days how t
make molasses candy or speak a piece
how to tell by pigs melt in the fal
whether we are going to have an ope
winter or not, how to bank up a house
|, how to win the affection of the opposit
sex, how to meet an emergency, no,
to make ink at home which will spea
for itself, how to, dye dress blacl
how to remove lavender pantaloon
from fruit stains, how TO. sew up ma
I who has tried to run colored german
hints on hen culture, hints on voic
culture, hints on marriage, farming, II
vivals, etiquette how to make goo,
> palatable poultice what to do in cas-
, of drowning, how 10 make one dandt
: hon ront serve as the foundation fC
a gallon of bitters every spring for te
! years, how to amass wealth and dode
y the Grand Jury, how to snare grizzl
bear. In fact everything you want
: know, told in pleasant style, fl
l. $3.50"
1t was at this time that the person
encounter took place. am not mu
n cular man, but my arms and legs Q.
i, tend in every direction when | am e,
h cited. They are longer and more It'll
;. than those of the average man. A
!; artist from Munich once told me tn
he thought l was the limblest man
v ever saw, aud he had seen great mar
q men.
Y did not permanently disfgure th
l. person, but l jolted him severely al
Il confused and 'concussed him in three
f. four places, after which he went ava
: After he had gone became more cali
i, | retired to my dressing room, whe
j my valet turned my cuffs for me.
It then returned TO the parlor. On t
l- Iloor i found the prospectus 1t h
is been left by mistake l was cool
r, now. | picked it up and read t
e. name of the author on the title-pal
q 1t was as follows: Bill NYE,
Or %
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