davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1888-10-11
FLOATING HUMOR.

HISTORIANS are generally very see
date people.-DetOjt Free Press.
BUSINESS is like a clock. When it is
run down it should be wound up
Boston Courier.
MANY a fellow who is whole-souled
has to go to a shoemaker to get half
soled.-Dn2lsUiIIe Breeze.
IT is seldom one hears about a person
being arrested for beating a record
Rochester P0St-ErpreSS.
I Amt much on politics, but motifs
'at the one who gifts ther is statesman,
an him as don't amt nothin' but poll
tician.-JlCdqe
SHE-Do you realize that our vaca-
ton is nearly done, Henry? He (wildly)
More than that, more than that! 1t
is all dun !-Nel0 HaUe1 Ne1CS.
Mrs. MAGINNIs-Luk at the sthrut
on the youngster, Moike! Mr.. Magin-
uis-Begobs, eff he kapes on lOike that
Oil make park policeman of i'm
fudge.
DE SM1TH-How are you up at your
boarding house, Travis-pretty full q?
Travis-Not much? Our landlady is an
out-and-out Prohibitionist.-B 1Irlj1lg-
ton Free Press.
CUPID, the deadly archer, is always
ready for work and almost invariably
successful, for the reason that he has
more than one string to his bow
LolUeU Citizen.
A FUNNY little Richmond boy, when
he saw a dairyman feeding his cows
salt, said he thought they didn't salt
butter until after it was churned.-Rich-
mo11d (IU.) Recorder.
A DRAMATIzATIoN of "The Quick or
the Dead?" is to be brought out on the
stage, and the critics are already specu-
lating as to how Quick it will be Dead,
after its initial production. Norris
torn Gazette.
WIFE (going to theater)-Why do
you walk SO fast, John? We have plenty
of time; you will be tired as well as my
self. Husband Ga New Yorker)-Yes,
but if We get there early it will give us
chance to rest.-Iime.
CHoLLY (whose legs are a trife bowed,
to tailor)-Aw-Tm very particular,
y know, about the fit of my trousers
Iallor-Ihe fit will be all right. sir,
I'll cHt the cloth with pain of bent
shears. Pittsburgh Chronicle.
ROBERT" said his wife. suspiciously,
"where have you been? You're late to
dinner" I've been assisting in an
humble way, my dear, toward improv-
ing the breed of horses" 80, was
afraid you were at the races. Life.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1888-10-11
Partisan Papers Not Exactly New.

In recently published letter of Thorn
as Jefferson's occurs the following pas
sage: 81 deplore, with you, the putrid
state into which our newspapers have
passed, and the malignity, the vulgarity
and mendacious spirit of those who
write for them; and L enclose you re-
cent sample, the production of q New
England Judge, as proof OF the abyss
of degradation into which we are fallen.
These ordures are rapidly depraving
the public taste, and lessening its relish
for sound food. AS vehicles of informa-
ton, and curb on cur functionaries,
they have rendered themselves useless,
by forfeiting all title to belief That
this has, in a great decree, been pro
duced by the violence and malignity of
party spirit, 1 agree with you; and [
have read with great pleasure the paper
you enclosed me on that subject, which
| now return"
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1888-10-11
Benefits Of a Good NJ mOry.

Professor McGoozle suddenly turned
pale, looked at his watch, and his hair
rose up on end,
Miss Laura, with whom he had been
spending the evening, observed his agi-
tation
"What is the matter, Professor ," said
she; ''it is not yet late
''Not late?" he groaned. ''Merciful
heaven W s to have given lecture
in the chapel this evening at o'clock
on the Importance of Cultiyating the
Memory"
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1888-10-11
Their Only Medicine Chest.

IEEItLUDdH, 4HUNIANA' D6U' IU' IooJ
l have been using BRANDRETHs PILLS for
the last thirteen years, and though have had
nine children, have never had doctor in the
house, except three times, when we had an cpl
demic of scarlet fever, which we soon banished
by a vigorous use of BRANDRETH's PILLS.
have used them for myself, two or three night
for month, for liver complaint, dyspepsia,
and constipation. In diarrhoea, cramps, wind
collie, indigestion, one or two BRANDRETH's
PILLS fixed the children at once. A box of
Pills is all the medicine chest we require in the
house. We use them for rheumatism, colds,
catarrh, biliousness, and impure blood. They
never have failed to cure all the above COM
plants in a very few days.
WILLIAM w. B. MILLER.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1888-10-11
Selling a Pretty Big Ranch.

o. J. Wiren's big ranch and herd of
cattle, the Circle Bar outfit, near Col
orado City, Texas, was sold the other
day at trustee sale to satisfy q mortgage
for over $500, 0OO. The ranch comprised
over 100 sections of land, some owned
and part leased from the State and rail
road. The entire ranch, stock and work
horses, cattle, etc. were bought in by l..
0. Ramery, of Wisconsin, one of the
principal mortgage holders, for $2l4,
$50.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1888-10-11

It is fancied by grateful patron that, the
bottle. having Golden Medical Discovery in
srribed upon it in bold characters. Whether
fed, remains to be seen, but DIR. Pierce will
continue to send forth that wonderful yege-
"a bic compound. and potent eradtcator of dis
case. 1t has no equal In medicinal and health
giving properties, for Importing vigor and tone
70 the liver and kidneys,in purifying the blood,
and through it cleansing and renewing the
whole system. For scrOfulous humors, and
stages, it is a positive specific. Druggists.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1888-10-11
A Eenernl TIe.un

OF all the means of public conveyance in a
large city, even for few hours, during Il strike
of the employees, means general paralyzing
of trade and industry for the time being and
is attended with an enormous aggregate loss to
the community. How much more serious to
the individual is the general tie-up of his sys-
TEN, known as constipation, and due to the
strike of the most important organs for more
prudent treatment and better care. If too long
neglected, torpid or sluggish liver will pro-
duce serious forms of kidney and liver dis
cases, malarial trouble and chronic dyspepsia.
Dr. Pierces Pleasant Purgative Pellets are q
preventive and cure of these disorders. They
are prompt sure and effective, pleasant to
take, and positively harmless.
Maria Pia, Queen of Portugal, is a very
talented woman. She takes very little interes
in politics, preferring outdoor sports to tht
intripues of statesmen
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1888-10-11
HABITS OF THE PRAIRIE DOG.
From the Forest and sream.l


1t is now no longer the prevailing no.
ton that these engaging little animals
do not drink water, but on the contrary,
however they may get it, they are very
fond of it, and in reality, must have it
frequently. A prairie marmot which
have as a pet drinks water freely three
or four times day, and if deprived of
it shows the effect at once, and drinks
double the amount the very next time
he gets chance. This little fellow l
bought from a Navajo Indian when it
hardly had its eyes open; at present he
is full grown and alternating in bur
row which he dugin the cellar last Oc-
tober.
l emphasize the word alternating be-
cause many still believe that these ami
mails do not do SO. Even here at Fort
Wlngate, and l presume in other parts
OF New Mexico, these animals become
tlmid just as soon as the first cold snap
strikes them, and repair to their burrows
Tor Information again until the return of
warm weather lures them out. There is
a large prairie dog town" not a mile
from where l sit at present, and one may
pass through it every day during the
cold weather and when snow covers the
ground, and not track of this little an
imal can be found anywhere in the vic
unity. By the middle of next month
February, however, they will begin to
show themselves.
There is another old story now nearly
entirely exploded about them. 1 refer
to the happy family of the "prairie
dog" the prairie owl and the rattlesnake
all living in harmony in the same bur-
row. Of course they do nothing of the
kind, but the marmots have to put up
with these owls and snakes the best they
can, precisely as we in our large towns
and communities have to put up with
our owls and snakes in human form
meeting and passing men every day of
our lives whom, perhaps, we know well
to be sneak thieves and cutthroats. 1t
is said upon good authority that prairie
marmoSs will even desert the burrow in
which big "rattler" enters, and even,
if small cobblestones be handy in the
neighborhood of the entrance, deliber-
ately seal it up with them so that the
snake cannot get out and must starye to
death.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1888-10-11

THE tiger which escaped from cir
Gus in Connecticut more than a week
ago, and caused no little uneasiness to
farmers in the northeastern part of the
State, was captured by the circus en-
ployes. They located the animal in
the dense forests of Holland, and dis
covered the path which he followed in
going to stream. They buried trap
in the path and attached to it a strong
sapling, which was bent over and held
by spring. Concealing themselves,
they waited patiently, and few hours
later heard the tiger screaming and
snarling. They found him hanging b.
one foot in mid-air. When he had been
securely bound by ropes he was low
cred into a strong cage and returned to
his old quarters.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1888-10-11

Anna Dickinson, the petticoated Burchard
OF the Republican party, appeared upon the
stump in Indiana attired in a garnet plush
suit, cut princesse style, the front being of
pink silk profusely covered with lace. She
wore diamond pin and diamond earrings. She
is now known as the Mrs. James Brown Potter
of campaign orators
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1888-10-11
WOman's WOrls

There is no end to the tasks which daily con-
front the good housewife To be successful
housekeeper, the first requisite is good health.
How can a woman contend against the trials
and worries of housekeeping if she pc suffering
from those distressing irregularities, ailments
and weaknesses peculiar to her sex? DR..
Pierces Favorite Prescription is a specific for
these disorders. The only remedy, sold by
druggists, under apositive guarantee from the
manufacturers. Satisfaction guaranteed in
every case, or money refunded. See printed
guarantee on bottle wrapper.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1888-10-11

Would use Kemp's Ralsam for the Throat and
Lungs. 1t is curing more cases of Coughs,
Colds, Asthma, Bronchitis, Group and all
Throat and Lung Troubles, than any other
medicine. The proprietor has authorized any
druggist to give you a Sample Bottle Free to
convin you of the merit of this great remedy.
Large bottles, 80 cents and ST..
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1888-10-11
Aquatic sports-the temperance base ball

WARMERS Log Cabin Remedies-old fash.
toned, simple compounds, used in the days OF
our hardy forefathers, are "cld timers but
"old reliable" They comprise "Sarsaparilla,"
Hops and Buchu Kennedy" Cough and Con-
sumption Remedy" Hair Tonic" Extract
for Eek ernal and Internal Use "Plasters,"
Rose Cream" for Catarrh. and Liver Pills"
They are put up by H. II. Warner 81 Co, pro-
prietors of Warmers Safe Remedies, and prom
Use to equal the standard value of those great
preparations. All druggists keep them.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1888-10-11
What SCOTS Emulsion Has Done!
over IS Pounds Gain in Ten Weeks.
Experience of a Prominent Citizen.
THE CALIFORNIA SOCIETY ron THKl
SUPPRESSION OF VICE.
HAN Francisco, July 7th. 1886 ]

/ took a severe cold upon
my chest and lungs and did
not give it proper attention;
it developed into bronchitis,
and in the fall of the same
year / was threatened with
consumption. Physicians or.
dePed me to a more congent-
al climate, and came to San
Francisco. Soon after my
arrival / commenced taking
Scott'S Emulsion of Cod Liver
Oil with HypophosphiteS reg
ularly three times a day. In
ten weeks my avoiPdupois
went from 15S to $50 pounds
and over the cough mean
time ceased. CIR. BENNETT.
SnIn az All nRUCCISTS
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1888-10-11

James Depew, brother of Chauncey, is a
prominent business man of Detroit, Mich. He
does not care for public or political life, and
prefers the West to the East.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1888-10-11

chariot, and who through condescending and
uplifting grace invites us to mount and ride
with Him!
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1888-10-11
MYSTERIES OF A DAY.
NOTES MORE OR LESS REMARK
ABLE ADDED TO HISTORY.
A London Street Game-Hc Killed
Rears-A French Murder-Very
Underground Travel-Indian In
dustry, Etc, Etc.
fIXTEEN- YEAR

IXTEEN-YE
old S herm q n
Small, of North
Chesteryille, Me,
decided that he
wanted to be n
pirate, and, as q
preliminary, ran
away and walked
to Gardi in e r,
where he hoped
tc find one of the
low. hla *. rak-
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1888-10-11
A GenRiblo Man

Henry W. Slocum, tennis-champ;on of Amer
lea. is engaged to be married to Miss EdsalI, Of
ST atom Island
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1888-10-11

ish vessels of which he had read. He
didn't find it, and he didn't find any
thing that his fancy had pictured, and
that night, as he wandered along the
wharves, a night Waterman collared him
and took him to the lookup, and TIN re
Sherman saw four drunken sailors, and
they didn't fit the picture that his mini
had drawn, and Sherman wept bitterly,
and begged for a chance to walk back to
North Chesterville, and when it was
granted to him he started briskly home
ward
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1888-10-11

FOX SPECIAL Rates for advertising in this paper
applyto the publisher of the paper. UiO
New-York tribune., 1888-03-25

is seems more than enough We wonder II ME- Low
ell supposes that Juvenars tenth satire had much
effect In purifying the morals Of Romef But
the poet has his privileges, and one Of them IL
to unpack his heart with words when the yearn-
ing comes strongly upon him.
There is indeed ono thoroughly pleasant satiri-
cal poem here namely, that entitled Credidi-
mus Jovem Regnare." This is In Mr.. Lowells
familiar happier manner, light, bright keen and
good-humored. or rhe minor poems, which con-
stitute the major portion Of the collection, We
should convey a wholly false impression did w
intimate that thy are not eminently worth read
Ing. We have merely undertaken TO point ous
certain differences between the poets earlier
and later work. and differences which may rec
sonably be held TO arise far more from tho innu.
ence Of age than upon any sensible or deliberate
change of position and conviction. IL Is but TO
say, In effect, that years must modify poetry, In
asmuch as they alter the whole physical and men
tai conditions Of the poet, nor, save IN rsre In
stances, can IL be expected that the Inspiration
derived from the setting sun can be - bueyans
and sanguine as that which owes It's being TO the
strong clear light Of dawn.
New-York tribune., 1888-03-25

for brilsnce Of style. What DO they care for the
beautiful 10 nfoi They wan, realism. and ,eslisn n
means uglness, wfckodness and lndecency That Is
how ! look on H. With me Il Is only business
know what sells, and why u seb.ss'
"Ars Daudet. Gautier. and tho rest - bad s zola
dThore Is not much to choose. All are not 'rde
cent like Emile zola but all have resource TO innucndo
and lnsinuation. No Fronchfnan can write without
You certainly pass a sweeping condemnation on
your own literature" .
s'n SSss:m. 4 nn.,s %aI sssn1 y
at your SHAKESPEARE, Jour Fielding smoett' Richard
sNowsdaysp Interrupted NJ viport. vivaeious!y
you have your 0uidA. and your George Moore ior
novel writer's: and your swinbnrne and Oscar WIDE
DO you cell any Of George Moore's books y asked
our representative. fastening to shin bis ground
svo, don't beetve they have boon translated J
am thinking of gotting "A Modern Lover translated
to see how It would sell in Paris think all bis
novels would ss in France remarkably ably, well "a
read almost we'll WHOM put into French g Cautlers
'Msdcmoiselle do Maupfn,' or Dandet's 'Trente Ans
de Psris' or stupiaux's 'Msmse Tout ie Monde"
aAmong whst Glass ere French novels chiefly read1"
aristocrscy, ana moro especially among tho wonen"
sThs average aristocrat,c young lady In this ccun.
try dotes anything 'nauehty.' And "'.re. Inc
increase IN this country The demand for realism IS
marked In novels as u fs 90 The stage ere wnst @
sales Called Rack and sShe have had. and now The
Mystery Of Hanson Cab simply bccnse they arc
realistic. Fiction must moro and more resemble the
divorce and police court reports In newspaper. II
~ oP ,rsns sSout re purity Of Your literature and
yst English society s stri"kine for French zols'
New-York tribune., 1888-03-25
TIE HAIR OF The DOG.
Nom Ths Indspsudenl

Ono other little anecdo;e and then this lctter will
become moo coherent In It's texture Washington
has large black population. and II Is amusing 70
notice their pecullartles to come upon their SUI
perstitions.
little Syo-the plaster from the ceiling fell suddenly
almost upon her hesl and scared her % fightfnllY
thai sho ran down siars and thon into the stress
like littlo mad thing She showed that ahe was
pet and that she was lost almost lmmedistay An1 I.
picked hor up and kept her dayA than he saw my
advertisement and brought her back ! have beon
very good her, said he, n kept her with me every
rninuts All i've done WA cut OF little hall
from her tack 10 singe and put On my Epgor-you
she BIT me when picked her up
had heard before" continued tho lady, sof beins
cured With tho hair Of the dog that bit him. and always
considered Il amusing superstitlon ana tho eegn-
ming OF Homeopathy but never came On u penrN
A An ACTIVE principle"
New-York tribune., 1888-03-25
ZOLA'S NASTY BOOK.
WHAT THE AMERICAN PUBLISHERS SAY
IROIIT 1T


To the Edttor Of the Tribune.
Sir: In your issue OF March 10 appears a very
sweeping and slashng nouce-t can scarcely be
called a criticism-of version Of Emile Zolas
latest novel. I" La Terre.' which In Justice to
selves and our translator. George D. Cox. cannot
pass without o reference. You say. "0f course. 1t
is clear that zoa's La Terrc' could not have
been literally translated The publisher who should at
tempt that enterprise would assuredly deserve tho
indictment certain to follow tho experiment. But
It is mere to pretend that the so-called
translation published by the Petersons represents tho
real work al a' This Is saying o great deal which
Will not stand Examination La Terre" has been
literally translated and zols's rough abrupt style
has been scrupuously followed down 70 his
peculiar punctuation. with the single exception that
the filth which dsfgures the great romance aud
which you admit could not have been reproduced.
has been omitted This to our mind has strengthened
the work and not In any way injured IT, The wholo
story ls given, and given In Zola's words but In
such shape as to fit II for general perusal You
assert that such liberties have been taken as would
mako the author open his eyes 10 amaze ment.s that
tho signf fcancc of the original has repeatedly been
changed. characters have been rechriseuod. and. In
short. so many and radical alterations have been
effected that nobody reading this American pervesion
can have the fautest idea Of what zolas book really
sn The liberties which you think so UNIV arrSntable
have been exclusively confined TO smoothing over
the gaps caused By the cxcision OF tho dlth and In
no other particular has :" the Significance OF the
original been changed In the slightest degree. You
say that characters have boen rcchristened.' In
this you make q statement which the facts Of the
case do not bear out One of tho oharscters 10
named Hyacinthc. and vhsrsver he y % called ~
New-York tribune., 1888-03-25
Manly Purity and Beauty

II had known Of the cUTIcUHA HEMspIES
tweny.eght years ago 1t would have saved mo szoow
two hundred doars) and immense amount Oh sunerns
My disease Psorasis) commenced on my head In sp's
not larger than cent 1t spread rapidly Gil oVer ny
body and got under my nails Tho scales would drop on
all the time and my suffering was endless ana WIN
out relief Ono thousand dollars would not tempt me 70
this disease again. am poor man. ous feoa
rich relieved Of what Of tho doctors saio wss
leprosy, some rngworm psorasia etc. I took ana
sarsaparllas over year end hail. and no cure
went to two or three doctors and no cure cannos
praise the CuTICURA REMEDIES too much. They
have made my clear and free from scales as
baby'a ALI used of them three boxes OF CUTI-
CURA and three bottles Of CUT1CURA RESoLvENE
and two cakes Of CUTICURA SOAP. II you had been
here and said you would have cured for 10000 you
would have had the monty. looked like tho picture In
your Psoriasis picture No. How TO Cure SKIN
Dlsesses") but now I clear as any person ever
was Through force Of habit rub my hands over my
arms and legs to In while, but TO no pur.
pose 1 am all well. I scratched twcnty.eight years.
and got kini Of second nature TO me. thank
you thousand times Any who resds this may wriH
me, and will answer It.
DENNIS DOWNING. Waterbury w
New-York tribune., 1888-03-25
THEY SAW IRVING.

apn you 500 Irving and Ellen Terry in Olivia ."
"Did II should think sol"
"Wasnt 1t grand ."
@Wasnt irving sweet as the vicarf"
aPeriectly sol / wanted to kIss him Ill the time n
"Mhat lovely smile b: had al through hr
"He looked like . saint"
And Like a Demon in 'faust
4 DON'T sec how ho docs it'
"Ana wasn't Ellen Terry swco. r
perfect angslr
"she skips around like girl OF 49,
"And she's 40"
"ES cry day Of It."
And bas a grown daughter"
a1'd like to know how she ever hops, st4Sa ssd
act and hops down On that bench without breaking
her back"
sThey say it took her months to learn how to DO
believe IT. never could do IL: Doesn't shs
" Perfectly charmingr
I'm. she grand when she and tho Squire have
aoh' 7 cried through all that"
GCriedi / howled."
And wasn't Irving beautiful when hs tried to preach
TO Wssn Ssa an Sef p0u declare, there wasn't dry thread
IN my handherchiet when @ he ss broke down and SAID
And she wasnit slow in getting there either,
si guess not You wouldn't have been, either,
wasn't 1t lovely when they cane hom. together r
"Oni pcr1ccliy ~~~ OhNA .
mother wouldn't forgive her."
And vhsn tho children and ell came In and kissed
her tel YOU cried like fury"
$50 did l."
aNho wouldntfr
aBui wOuldns have forgiven The sauir~'
"Hapdsorne bo was Y
HNo. woudnti"
aOh, you would too
sI wouldn't ~
aYvu would"
IIo horrid p
"Dut he play was lovely
"Oh. beautiiui%
am so glad saw Il r.
sAnd too"
aCood bye"
0Cood byc.n
New-York tribune., 1888-03-25
WHY FRENCH NOVELS SELL.
THE NOBLE" LAsoRs OF FRENCH AUTHORS
ftoBn TIE Psu Aau 0axsfte

v,,ins Inc New Age' publishes interview with N.
sssf,, ons VI ne largest puivcyor. OF French w..
fr,Sb ,Ssa, ro:; sppesrs sells far the best Of The
~ 1oia. ~orss snt sth Dsudst comes nsxt and
,errtao oo see sss' saia r. vipenI lola has suoS
he writes q bound 70 ssns 'A" sss's'"s
sus,ns. l.. thsn' u bis ossttnsss thai hs owes his
.,.chisny, think Anythins thss u ..x.v vu,
Ssy sen, and AZ frenca avvsls have the ssxpe OF
sssbss- p1,y Mnetner they arc or not 80 Trensh
thosght disgusting '"'s's no u
v,rdn ns, zc'a surely has some ,fssr attr,bptss M
,wns, wonderful power of analysis. an = u. xrsrn
D.,'e io.os' keep observation. w.t. sioauen enes--s
a.. nnnml,xe xes yes darn say he hss. no doubt But
os ersa snoossnd colss Of 'RAs8 kays tAsn so,d 3
Se'0oe nssv-ulnasd pssDas. vAs lsuS sess s e
New-York tribune., 1888-03-25
THE DEATH MARCH.

Oh Lord OF Hosts their mailed tread.
Bearing along the mailed dead,
Makes me bow my stubborn heaa
Never underneath tho sun
VIII this heart fathomed march ho donot
Still, Lord OF Hosts 10 Thoo we cry,
When our goat ones, loved onos, die,
Still some grand lamont We crave,
When ws descend Into the grave:
WILLIAM BELL SCOTT.