New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-02-15

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tlons' with series of daily charts covering land and
sea- most Of tho way from the equator TO the Arctic
circle The changes taking place In ono part OF tho
globe have such Intimate relations with those al a
distance that the highest efficiency In forecasng can
be obtained only after careful study OF simultaneous
henomona in adjacent regions. These maps conduce
directly to that end.
LOVES VICTORY.
"Tel me, dainty lady mine,
Will you DO my Valentine!
Long I've worShipped at your shrine,
Everything have Is thine"
SHE.
"Truly, sir, I cannot say
How much IS your income, pray7'
HE
"Income dainty lady minc'
What of that! For you pine
Night and day my heart Is thine
Pray then be my Valentine"
Hearts and pinlng tOuch not.
How much money have you g0t!"
HE.
Half amlllion, lady mine"
SHE
"of course I'll be your Valentine
-(Somervllo Journal.
Every member Of the Assembly is said to have the
story of the sword of Damocles at his tongues end.
AZ the cub
Leap year is great snap, isn't ?" remarked
6nobklns.
a girl proposed to me last night
sNo. yon don't sayf,
Eyes and accepted
Worse and more of It. How did It happenl'
Simplest thing In the world She proposed to
to leave tho honso or she would call her father
| and left. That was all."-tWashington Critic.
High license plays high jnks In the low ranks of the
Democracy-no the high ranks Of tho low Democracy -
or in the rankness of the Democracy. just as you
choose to put 1t.
"I say, BILL said a hard worked burglar to a gen.
teely dressed cmt throat did you hear the latest ~
No what is 1t n
"why they arc getting up an arms trust SC . that
knives and other nscessarIes Of life us outrage
$50 1t IS and II this thing Is allowed to 90 on our
81 say. Bill. 'sposing We strIkeT
Agreed. and we wont burge another house nor
terms s"0' Wa teach em how to take bread V out Of
honest mems mouths '-tI,oston Transcript
At the present rate Of increase In population, by
the year 1000, the Stars and Stripes will probably
nearly 1OOOoo,oOo citizens And then
this country will begin to look forward to the time
when 100000 coo free citizens VIII look up to the
starry flag for protection.
Came, Saw Conquered -Tramp-Pease, mum, I've
had nothing TO eat for three weeks.
Housekeeper-Don't you tell me that ] saw you
go into that Mrs. stuckup's kitchen half an hour ago
aud you've been there ever since
~ waiting for her to warm some things up
for mum but when noticed what dirty Kitchen
and rb some powder over her smuty face Instead OF
washing It, felt disg sted could not cal mouth.
full and amt got my appetite back yet. If IFS all
the same TO you | would rather nave some money.
After half an hour spent In that woman's house l
Poor man Here's dollar Omaha World
A distressing family quarrel in the backwoods II
Delaware County. New-Yorh, thrust upon the
public gaze when The Walton Reporter" published
the following
My wife, Mary. has lcft my bed and board without
7 fori,id nv Oneh ar
ing on my account Melvin L. Dickerman.
ShlnhOppe, Jan. p, 1888.
That Mary Is a woman with plenty Of spunk Is
shown by her reply. published the following week:
The notes of Melvin Dcfe'nan sounds big, but
the fact he had no bed or board Tor me- . TO ,esve
Mary Dickorman Shinhoppie'
In the notice of a funeral Of prominent citizen
The Arizona Hower' says: The most noteworthy
feature OF the sad occasion was eloquent address
nv lin Pegtop a brother-ln-aw Of the remains. Jim
is a hustler from way back, and has done much to
corral the big boom which this town IS now having"
Thoy were I'm tho parlOr. c'upying ono chair with
but single thought. They had discussed the tariff,
weather and hor important TO les I'LL conversation
was about tagged out. After a long pause:
DuckyF
"whattyP - - . +.
wei. should say you were holding your owns
Tableau.- (Spr. ngied Union
The ability to catch boom by the hair rs II Is
rapidly gliding by Is one of the requisites Of a good
editor In southern California
II wouldnr work. He had been abroad and had
lust landed on our shore. He exhibited 10 tho
customs officer rosary and assured the official that
1t the only blessed thing thai he had brought
with him.
"Just So" replied tho officer, without winkng.
"Open that trunk, please. | am to underst and that
these roofs OF silk, these velvets and this of
jewels have not bcen bcssed You need nj wait
for your Luggage air the Government will take
Of II for yUu"- Boston Transcript.
1t is hoped that foreign visitors VIII not get their
first impressions of New.York from the big bridge
Nearly every prominent building within sight OF the
Bridge footway bears large yellow sign asking the
reader to buy patent cordial extract or pill.
credulous foreigner might infer from these signs that
half the population Of tho city were engaged In tho