Morning journal and courier., 1888-10-15
" R AT :!

stWhat are you going to call your boy, Jim?" "Don't know yet; wanted to call him George Yellicott, but my wife says that's woman's name."-Burdette.
 Flattery is the worst of insults; but there are mighty few people in this world who are keen enough to know when anybody is in sulting them.-Sonerville Journal.
 Friend-"Do you think you will ever marry againq; Widow-"Well, hardly; once will do for me, I guess: My late husband was 8 victim of dyspepsia. Howell Citizen. next to you in church yesterday" Clara 'sYes; but crushed him." Charley-"Whst did you do?' Clara-t'I loaned him my psalter. Howell Citizen.
 Bosten-stIn this treacherous climate one cannot be too careful or take enough precau- tions." Maine-''My opinion exactly. Sup pose we adj journ to the corner and take 8 couple of precautions. Howell Citizen.
 Some excitement was caused at recep- ton in Philadelphia last week by the discov- cry that young man who had no grand father had erept in through the back door. He was summarily eieoted.-New York Sun.
 "And de you receive large salaFyi" asked the searcher after information of the busy bartender. "Well," replied the knight of the beer pump, setting out half dozen foanaiBg glasses, "I draw the pay of hundred men
 
 Husband Returning from the mountains) nearly frozen, John. Who was that gentle man with the straw hat and linen duster who just drove by?" Husband-"Ths landlord of ], the hotel below here. ."-The Epoch.
 Sunday school teacher-"Now, children, that the lesson is ended, you may ask any questions you like and will try to answer them. Is there anything you want to know, ofa NhoS ia s'Which club do yer think winned der game at der park ter-dayF'-Lincoln Journal.
 Clergyman-''F Fishing, my boya Would you not be more proGtably employed in school!" Boy Gntently watching the bobl- "Guess not" Clergyman-"Do you rather fish than studys" Boy-"Pve got to fish week days or not at all. Dad wants the pole Sundays Now dry up, I've got bite."- Binghamton Republican.
 Gifted detective (to suspicious looking par ty whom he finds hiding in an obscure corner in 8 museum)-"Got you at last, haven't F Come along, MT. Tsscott." Enraged proprie- tor-"Hands of, sir" Gifted detective (ste1nly)-"Don't interfere with an officer of the law, sirl I know what Pm-thunder'n lightningl it's wax figure. Rolled again" Chicago Tribune.
 ''Yes," she observed, as the electric car started. ''You don't say sol" ss the car got to Fourteenth street. "I wouldn't have be- lieved it," at Grand street; and, Well, I never" as the postofice was reached. "I had great deal of difficulty in hesrin' what you said, George; but you're very entertain in'." ''I sint said a word" was Georges re- ply. "What you heard was the buzzin' of the motor, an thought it kinder funny to hear you keep ejaoulatin' every now an then. " Time.
 A nervous-looking man went into a store the other day and sat down for half an hour or so, when clerk asked him if she could do anything for him. He said no, he didn't want anything. She went away and he sat there for half an hour longer, when the pro prietor went to him and asked him if he wanted to be shown anything. "No," said the nervous man, "I just want to sit around. My physician has recommended perfect quiet for me, and he says above all things I should avoid being in crowds. Noticing that you do not advertise in the newspapers, thought that this would be as quiet place as could find, so just dropped in for few hours isolation" The merchant picked up bolt of paper cambrio to brain him, but the man went out He said all he wanted was quiet l life.-Peck's Sun.