Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-10-05
Newspapers lIunor.

a man overhorcd'-Thc editor.
y eentless afair--An editors
/ pocketbook.
Society is the hardest baked oni,s
upper crust.
Hungry rooster don't caeLle
when be fine wum.
De proudncss ov man don't
count wen his hed's cold.
One-eyed mules must not be
handled on the blind side,
Lickor talks mighty loud when
he gets loose froM dc jug.
Slecpin in dc fence corner don't
fetch krismus in dc kitchen.
The Watermelon is like book.
II isn't red un,ilit i opened
a tramp calls his shoes corpora.
tons because they have no
solcs.
The girl who ehalks her checks
thinks it is better TO mark the miss
than miss the mark.
Love" says the PHILADELPHIA
Chronicle, makes many a good arm
go To waist
The fellow who picked up the
hot penny originated the remark,
"All tLat glitfers is not cold"
The compo>itor who set up "pim
pied chops for "dimplcd checks
didn't look a bit natural in death.
How sad" exclamid ono blade
OF a pair Of scissors TO the other
how sadl We only meet TO scv
err
Authors are spoken ofas dwcllers
in attics, because so few Of them are
able to live ON their first story.
\ Whitehall woman calls her
husband kind words because he is
so bald headed that hc can never
dye.
There is one thing that an editor
escapes, aud that is lying awake
nights thinking where he will spend
his vacation.
\ young lady, who has studied
al the "ologics' at Nassar, wants
TO know il the crack OF rifle j.
where they put the powder In.
It's claimed, by some medical
men, that smoking wcakens the
eye sight. Maybe il does, but lust
see how IT strengthens the bfeath.
Some men could not get along
without their navy tobacco. and |
England feels that She could no,
exist without her navy to back her
too.
If man empiies MS purse into |
his head, no man can take it away
from him. An investment in 1
knowledge always pays the beat
intcrest.-EraHkliH
It's just about double the work 10
spade up piece Of ground for gar.
den purposes that it is to dig over
the same space ofground for worms /.
to 90 fishing.
Because Dr. Tanner bol,ed door
and threw up a window last night. 4
before going to bed, il is no sign
that bis rayenous appetite has not
yet been appeased
Pope says that beauty draws
with single har, IL dOesn's now.
adays. When a beauty gets SO
bald headed that she has but one
hair left, she doesn't draw much
Sprighlly young lady: II am
afraid have very large foot"
Polite ohopman: Large miss,
o, dear, no miss We have lots Of
gcnt-that is, customers with
much larger, miss"
An old lady in Yorkville. with
several unmarried daughters. feeds
them on fish diet because IL is rich
IN phosphorus. md IS the essential
thing for making matches
a printer down ia the city of
10000 inhabitants. says:
The Chictgo type Of girl has
ronPare.l head on BREWER body.
and n long primer foot"
But VOC bet she is alive. and
counts one Of that 5os .03r iuhabi.
tdnts.
"Look-a.hcrc. 20 shouteda disgust.
cd customer in O Washington res.
taurant. Here an Old moustache
comb In this pot pie"
Never mind. that sir" said the
napkin hisler camiy. 'iust throw
q under the table, IL IS an old
oncr
"Whatwae the text this mornin~
Johns inquired q druggists wife
who had been unable % attend
church
$40 err is humau. replied ffe
arsenic expert; Sand itwas mighty
sensible sermon
y phyeician has discovered that
the older man grows the smaller
his brain becomes This explain.
why tie Young men know cvcr,.
thing and the OLD men know moth
ing