The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-03-19
ellL NYE AND BURGLARS.
lie thinks They Arc Favored More THAI
Other People.

rrl Nvc writes 10 Inc New York World
,--n 81 Joseph, Mo: When reached this
',... ,.et arday found In bushel bassctful
~ forwarded letters tie following peculiar
er~':
i'.,s..l q. sec the hum4uit lrian effort now being
ssaictl dc,l-c some iosU q quick and painless
I,.nflr our uuglorers AID ~ther criminals who
r,a, have e. suffer The death penalty. Such Ell
grfsd denote q refined and cultivated society one
,fstuoul iu no way countenancc the slightest
l.f.ry even 10 the most wicked dude that smokes
o..rettes Gu the elevated stations
tecnc good turn deserves another, and Gs by
some chance one % these nice, good intcntioned
ro.nl. ir.y. under an unlucky star, como in con
-. ni.A ono u Ioy profession engaged ia his
r...iaf biz mess ycH would mort certainly All "a
l,T- fs,i want n you wocil Invent some quick and
naisiess method i0r criminal - murder his vic
ia Murders ere to- oftou lingering aud pain
fI Why shOuid there not be "A reform In that
.a-, shoJld you kindly lend your genius 10 help
.ls profession ~ That WY you would gain the
lasting gratitude OK tho public a. well 60 Of
u.auy bVR"LAis
N.s Yons. FEB q, 1873.
I'm replying briefly 70 the above. will
sfqf. ihat no burglar ever came 70 my house
for favor and went away disappointed,
pfov.dol / was able to contribute 10 his
waits and provided he went al 1t in the right
aar ] havc never jumped on a burglar be-
l.nl bis back or taken advantage Of my
r.' ,rourth q do him up.
When bgrsiar is ia my house he is my
ruo., Il hc j. willing TO take things us he
III. them 10 viii have no trouble with Inc.
But believe that, rs IA class burglars are
already favored more than other people.
burglars presume too much, think Be
,tf,a tHov hnvo free entree and carte blanche
O. tl1 raNing rooms Of our best people, they
wait tho earth and make themselves dis
agreeable do not wish 70 hurt tho feelings
o.. ny corrosp Onleui. especially if be takes
.acrlpor regularly, but for one | AIN going
t,Cg.t protecting and fostering the infant
industry OF American burglary as against
tlc paulrr burglar OF Europe. Let us get
our blrrlng done by the bost and cheapest
methods Let our burglary take its chances
30 competition with that OF Gillette monarcdie5,
i..t us very thing else viii have to do some
DIV j. tho meantime do not propose 10 do
nly,hn. IN newspaper way that will look
hsoa attempt % retain the burglar vote
1t ttc burglar rustic for his wages the
way 10 md the way other workngmcn do.
know that burglars claim they are poorly
pad because their work keeps them up nights
81 much but newspaper men have to work
NIGHTS also. and unless they can rob pros
porous burglar once IN n whil6 they have a
hard row % hoe
And wba; have the burglars ever done Tor
INC tnat should now be- called upon 70 adj
vance their iuteroStsf
A. Nom ff...n. luI IA a. her rfQrt ~ hQ
they not always felt free 10 come h my
housof And how have they rewarded my
hospitali'vt When they went through my
house last year and found a condition Of
things which would have moved tho stoniest
heart, what did they DO They stole a valu-
able AUTOGRAPH album which had been sent
me % write in. and bad IL 10 pay for. They
took q valuable umbrella which had Dor
rowcd q few years ago, and which intended
o. return to the owner after while. They
ate s9mo cold rice aud sorghum which had
been SIT aside for tho uSs Of other guests,
aud then they let the gate open 50 that cows
co; pa and ate up my lima beans.
Now | am asked 20 use my influence in the
direction Of better sand bag facilities for
burglars and q more reliable style Of rapid
transit between tho tax payer and the New
Jerusalem.
In Years past / will admit that was run
uine Tor Office good deal, and had to do
things that would retain the burglar vote,
but now am firm IN my convictions and
outsp0ken for what believe TO bo right
man engaged IA trying 10 be his own sue
cessor I'm the portfolio If Justice Of tho peace
is not IL free moral agent. 1t Is more or less
80 in other offices, but 1t is especially SO with
Il Justice of tho peace.
now propose, with tho help Of the Ameri-
can people and an earnest manly effort on
my part. % shake of tho burglar and come
on. and take higher ground. Henceforth my
vote. viii b. heard ia more OF less stentOrian
tones i'm the interests of humanity Pros
p.rlus burglary, which gets second trial,
Will Ie REGARDED the same as less fortunate
petty larceny. which gets ninety days.
BURGLARS who may have voted for me IN
Oh. old DAYS are hereby notified that the auto
.-rg,h clbun and lima beans oTset that nc
,9uu.. and that IL Is my earnest wish, 50 far
..ltiin my power, during the remaining
vears which may be granted me, TO live
down and forget the dark and deyious days
When was i'm politics believe that easier
ans more painless methods for tho admins
grafton of capital punishment will soon bc
Perfected whereby man who IS executed by
tb. law will not be entitled TO any moro
GLORY of flowers than ono who dies OF pncs-
monia TO that end am willing TO WORK.
When that IS accomplished l will devote ny
haltinr powers 10 the further amel.oration u
our race But the burglar has no further
political claims on me.
Men who visit New York from distance
desiring 10 purchase greenbacks at forced
sale or to obtain gold bricks Of those who are
compe.led t. sell them Tor mere song, viii
ALWAYS BE- amclioIated SO long as my good
right arm shall not forget her cunning
am willing 70 do what can for the pro
motion of science and the painless pulling o.
burglars. but this IS as far as 1 would 60
Moreover, | hope that our correspondence
will not continue any longer. Burglars who
pleased and entertained me when l was In
politics have long since ceased to do 50. The
ninth Of tho matter is that while all other
professions have made rapid progress, poll
tics and burglary are just where they were
100 years ago
one reason why burglary has not mace
moro rapid snides l believe 10 be because
burglar, do rot advertise. They rely solcly
mon their insight and keen penetration. Inc
-. e. si,,, burrrlars and BURGLARY have