Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-10-18
Detroit Free Press.

''No, it isn't rem ember now where
saw It,"
went out TO the drawer of the kitchen
| tables and found IL.
whats thas?" he asked, as / returned.
"The corkscrew''
as carkscrew q screw driver?"
"But you asked for the corkscreg."
| "Mrs. Bowser, are you going crazy!
DONE know whether want the cork
screw or the screw-driver?
"But you said corkscrew."
"Neverr'
''Wen the screw-driver is right thera on
the table wi6hiD two feet OF you"
"0h! It Is! Aud why couldn't you have
said SO in the first placer"
One morning he wanted to use the
spade, and not finding it in the barn ne
came rushing in TO inquire:
Glow much did tha6 junk dealer pay
, you for the spade?"
'What do you mean?n
'Why, the spade is nowhere TO be found,
and presume you sold it,"
Have yOn looked in the barn?"
NOf course
"And III the yard?"
Certainly"
s'Aud down stRirs?"
es. Had unaG space yesterday, and
now it's gone! There are some very queer
happenings around this house, Mrs. Bow
SCRIP
"But you don't expect NE to watch the
barn tools, DO your"
"All right! I've got my ideas about this
matter. You may have got Is cents for
q spade which cost me 81, but wouldn't
have your conscience for $1,000"
AZ that q how o.,oa en- ha Io,Iy
door with the spade and said:
"You left ii in the alley last night. Mr..
Bowser."
"rhere!" said I, after the boy had gone
eyes, therer' echoed Mr.. Bowser.
Don't let this thing happen again! see
| through it, and L give you warningw
Mr.. Bowser has q rusty old handsaw
which has been the cause of several girls
leaving the house. If he is tinkering
about he is sure 10 leave it under foot,
and the next time he wants it there's q
great row. He charged one girl with sell
ing it, and she quit just as he found it in
the garnet. He limited to another that
her beau had taken it away, and she had
only gone when the saw was found in the
yard. girl finally came who when she
found the saw on her kitchen table, re-
moved it to the settee in the parlor, and
as Mr.. B0ser found it there he scratched
HE Lead and went about for the next
half hour in deep study.
Once when he wanted the gimlet he
came in and rummaged around and oh.
served:
"Mrs. Bowser, if this house needs
dozen screW-drivers why don't you say so
ard let me order them?"
''WhY, we don't need 'em."
son, yes, we do! There must be dis
tressing need OF 'em. When I can't keep
one at The barn 10 minutes, there must
be use for 'em here. I'll order O dozen
for you right off,"
"Do you mean screw drivers, Mr..
Bewser?"
''Am I a bat? Don't know what I'm
talking aboutf"
He went to the telephone, called up a
hardware store, aud ordered a dozen
screw drivers sent up a. once. He was
waiting for them to arrive when found
the gimlet on bracket in TIE library and
told him he had best take it to the
barn.
"When I came in here and asked you
for this gimlet, why did you deny know
ing is whereaaouts?" he sternly de-
manded.
pu dsEbf IOF bI6 SCREW Or1V6F.
"Don't know what I asked for!"
"WelI, here it is. I wrote It down, Is
that screw driver or gimiet?"
Hs saw that he WAS caught, though he
wouldn't give up, but had my revenge
when the dozen screw-drivers came up @.
0. D. and he had to fork over for them
And yet I don't want the police to get
an idea that Mr.. Bowser and quarrel, or
that orr horns Ia NOT ba,,nv ono Ha ic
one of the best of men, and just like the
average husband. He feels it the duty of
a husband to know i5 all and any coming
down or apologizing is beneath his Dig
nifty. After call the other day he re-
marked on the beauty of MIS-. Blanks
eyes.
'Her eyes are blue, my DEAR" I replied.
"Biue? Is your sight failing as bad as
that?"
'Bus they are blue"
"They are coal black"
Everybody says blue"
swell, everybody might soy yellow, but
they are black"
day or two subsequently We happen
ed to meet Mrs. Blank while out walking,
and I jokinply told her that Mr.. Bowser
had blacked her eyes.
Il Wish they were black" she replied |
81 prefer black to blue"
'And your eyes are blus?"
"Why, of course"
s'Weil?" queried, as Mr.. Bowser and / |
walked along. =
~ see how il is" he replied, sand I am |
sorry for her, as she seems such q nice /
person. She is color blind, and she sees |
blue for black"