The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1888-10-13
PuNoENT PARAGRAPHS.

Eternal vigilance enables man 70
carry the same umbrella for years.
Boston Courier,
"A woman can't keep secret, OF
course; yet when there is secret his
tory of any important transaction q
woman is usually in it-Neso Haren
Nescs.
Popping the question is like pop
ping corn. The popped article wants
to be taken away from the fire imme-
diately and sailed while it is warm
N. O. Rcayxne.
-Youngster-'.Papa, what is rev.
enue cutter?" Fond parent Ga hard
working clerk)-"The individual who
employs me. my child. He has just re-
duced my salary."-Judy.
If there is any thing that will mako
a gang Of street-corner bummers blush
it is to be told by good-natured po-
liceman to move on there, gentle
men" Fall Rirer Adpance.
"A new song is called my Mothers
Hand" We suspect it is a sequel to
Mammals Slipper" and when intro
duced among the children there's
music in the heir. -Norrisfown Herald.
"A Judge threatened to fine law
yer for contempt of court. II have ex-
pressed no contempt for the court"
said the lawyer; ION the contrary, /
have carefully concealed my feelings"
The man who makes an investment
for the purpose of getting something
for nothing generally succeeds in get
ting something. In addition to getting
left he usually gets little experience.
-OI City Blizzard.
"A young lady who has been taking
whistling lessons from gentleman
friend for the past four months can't
whistle note yet, but she has been
seen in the stationer's pricing wedding
invitations. = YonEers Statesman.
Customer Ito restaurant proprie-
tor)-"That coffee just had wasn't as
good as my mother used to make, by a
long shot" "Proprietor-1t's the best
we can do, sir, at FIVE cents a cup. /
suppose your mother got ten for hers"
Epoch.
-Smokeless gunpowder is the latest
addition to the science of war. Now,
let somebody invent a smokeless cigar
cite, and peace will have her victories
no less renowned than war.-Boston
Transcript.
When a lawyer asks witness If he
is sure he is telling the truth he conf
IDENTITY expects the man to promptly re-
ply: mo, Sir; / am committing per-
jury" If he did not expect it he would
not ask such silly question. Detroit
Free Press.
People are wrong who think that
women generally object to telling their
age. Most women are always willing
to tell their age whenever they are
asked. The trouble is that they do
not tell the truth about Somervtlle
Journal
Sir" said the judge, II commit
you to Jail for ten days for contempt
of court" Better make it ten years,
Judge" was the response. II couldn't
begin to get over my contempt in less
than that. IN Y. Sun.
Young Mrs. Snapley TO Snspley,
who is walking the floor with the baby
at one p. m. )-"Walking is healthy ex-
ercise, my DEAR" Snapley-"I know
it; but there is such thing as being
too confoundedly healthy to appreciate
the other blessings of life. "-Bnrling-
ton Free Press.
What If were one of those hus-
bands, my dear, who get up cross in
the morning and bang things around
and kick like everything just because
the coffee is cold?" John, responded
his wife. 81 would make it hot for
YOU" AS her words admitted of more
than one Interpretation John said moth
ing more about the coffee. Time.
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