New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-11-26
THE TALK or THE DAY.

"The Springfield Union" tells this story about Pres
ldent Dwight of Yale on becoming president OF the
| university, he knew and presumably cared nothing
whatever for athletic sports Of any sort He I'M
medatey put telephone in his residence, and when
his wife asked him for the reason of the innovation
he bandy replied: Il want, as president OF this
university hear the results Of the baseball, foot
ball and rowing contests just they are
! over. Yalc's is nearest my heart'
A bright four-year-od Lawrence boy had enjoyed
the undivided affections of father and mother lew
! days ago a baby sister came into the household. and
the attention which It received inspired the brother
with idea that he was being sadly neglected ono
| day as both parents were admirinc the newcomer,
| the boy suddenly bust into the exclamation No
body anything for me now and putting on his
| cap he ran out of the house Just then neighbor
came along with a small dog, and, acco'ting the
| youngstcr. jokngly asked him If he would not like
sntIcpafed indignant scorning of the proprietor the
little fellow with Frightening face, responded quickly
Yes. and I've got dollar that III give 10 D"ot -
| Lawrence American
"The Boston Transcript" predicts that there will
be fun at the polls December II, when it becomes
necessary for the wardens and vote inspectors to
fire OUT numbers of excited women who. having
simply been assessed, and not having been registered
nor paid their 80 cents taA bills come TO the voting
places supposing that they have right to cast their
ballots
Poor Prescription.-Mr Whfles-Doctor, hear
YOU have a sure cure for insomnia. wish you would
treat for 1t, it IS almost inpo slbe for me TO
Doctor~certanly. Ny plan is very simpIe ,. As
soon you lie down at night begin 10 count, and Keep
as Counting ali it IS Why, Doctor. counting IS
lust what do every night of my life, and it doesn't
put me to sleep at ALL
"Ehl What do you countT
"Oh. household expenses unpaid bills, time left on
notes aud all sorts Of things. '-(Phiadeiphla Record
An irreverent press will forget all about
Grover and DAM and devote itself to saying moro
or less funny things about Ben and 'LiGe.'
First cltizcn-rm proud of my wife. She
speak five different languages How many languages
O0f Second ctzentUned States and baby talk That's
enough for me.-(Burllngton Free Press.
There are six Protestant churches in bingham, Mass
which are without pastor.
THE BUsTLE.
Oh, the blooming, blooming hustle,
The founcng, bouncing hustle,
The heaving, weaving hustle
That the maid of fashion wears
How 1t quaps and quakes and qulvers,
How IL oscillates and shiveis,
How IL shocks all modest Ivers
When In public 1t appears
When extended and expanded
As BY fashion IS demanded
1 think If you are candid
With me you will agree,
That th, absurd Illusion
Is . snare and delusion-
And conducive to confusion
detroit Free Press
Tho Philadelphia schools will probably be repre-
scented in the Paris Exhibition of 1889.
The Conservation of Energy .-Boy-The hen laid an
egg.
Aunt-What did you do with IT.
Boy-Boied II hard cut II up into small pieces and
gave il TO her for brcakfast.-(Tme.
little Indian boy in the Carlisle school was asked
the other day what Is the highest form OF animal life
So The giraffe was tho prompt reply Of the lad. who
had evidently been taking in the circus of the pale
face.
Spelter-What a woman you are to run on when you
get started | can't get in word edgewise.
Mrs. notwithstanding that your language is so
exceedingly thin. 1t is funny that's a fact-tBoston
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