Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1888-04-01
BURDETTES HUMOR.
A FUZZY MANS SOBER ADVICE 10 A
YOUNG MAN,
Which All Young Men Can Read and PROFIT
Blythe tumble OF Inspiration-Hov
TO Reach the Massea
rror the neutrality-suspicious., isssl

NV son, il is a comforting doctrine,
and one that men often preach TO each
other. that man deserves all credit for
everything good that he does and for all
the good that he is, but that somebody
else is to blame for oil the evil IN him.
Mr.. Cough has been criticised for say
ing--and they were his last words
"Young man, make your record clean.
The prophets who speak comfortably say
that the young man cannot make his
record clean when his father makes
n bad record before him.. that
society and the evil tendencies
OF it, and something the scien-
fists call his environment" write the
young mans record bad in spite Of him.
Oh, my dear boy, this is doctrine too
cowardly for young man to accept.
Ever since Adam-the founder OF society
aud the inventor OF the first record ever
made in this worlds man without an
environment to his back. made a bad
record. AMI then said, "The woman
Thou gavest to be with me, she did 1t
all, men have always plead the irresisti-
bic force of surroundings and circum-
stances The woman was younger than
Adam she was weaker many wise men
saw she is intellectually the inferior OF
man: she was newcomer IN the
garden, and vet how glad your old grand
father was to say that it was all your
grandmother fault, and that being thus
led astrsy by influences and examples
which no man could control or resist, he
should not be held responsible for his
disobedience. And in her turn your
grandmother laid 1t onto the snake, just
as to-day, in the Office OF the Sun, and IN
Christian homes all over this land, the
evil deeds of men and servants are laid
70 the cat. But, for all this excuse,
Adam vas fred ont Of the garden, and
served him right. Now, my boy, the
other man may eat forbidden fruit until
he founders, and not bite that he swal-
lows is going to hurt you. A dose OF
strychnine big enough to kill a COW won't
hurt yOu--if you don't swallow any OF
it When you swear you do your own
swearing YOU cant borrow another
mans tongue to damn a beggar with.
When you get drunk, you get drunk.
The law doesn't fine the man who sells
the vhiskey, it fines the man who drinks
il. When you steal anything, from
pin TO the Broadway road, you do your
own stealing, and-in the case of the
pin ct least, the law holds you re-
sponsible for II, not the man who
coaxed you TO steal, nor yet the
citizen who by owning valuable property
which you could not bny, thereby
tempted you to steal it. You are the
fellow who does all the wickedness that
is wrought by your hands and your lips.
1t tires me 10 hear a man always ex-
cusipg himself and citing some dreadful,
wicked JerobOam which made him to
sin. Not, indeed, that We hold the Jero-
boAms guiltlesS. "lt must needs he
that offences come but woe to that man
by whom the offence coneth y But be-
cause the milestone and a soft place IN
the sea is the proper combination for the
man who helps yOu to stumble, you do |
not 60 free. 1 have no right to turn |
a cross dog into the street, but if / do. /
he will bite You if you 90 fooling |
around him. Wherefore, leave canem."
which, by Interpretation is, Don't /
monkey with the dog AS the dog will |
not beware Of you, do you beware OF the |
dog. You may have noticed on the sa-
cerdotal garments of your instructor, my /
son, some queer. unsightly splashes here |
and there. Well put them on myself. |
Without the assistance or by the fault of |
anv man, did It, And if there are any
more to go on before have 1t renovated
/ am the only fellow who can put them
there. Now you may 60 and play and
have fun, and don't let me ever again
hear you say that you would be the best
boy in the world If only all the other
boys were dead.