Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-02-25
IIUMOR.

"THISTLE do" said the cannie Scot,
Gomp!acently, as he finished his new
yacht.
The story of Eve clothing herself
with leaves of figs was merely a fighter
OF speech.
If travelling in an omnibus during a
thunderstorm do not ST too near the
conductor.
A BACHELOR editor who has pretty
unmarried sister, wrote to brother
editor similarly situated, please eS
change. "-CarL Pre'zei.
HE-What will you have, dear, candy
or ice cream? She-No, dward, get
me some popcorn, please. He-Do you
like that stud? She-Ycs, | like every
thing that pops.
Mas A. who entertains good deaD
I have really enjoyed the evening e1-
ccedingly. Mrs. buck-It's such a re-
lief to get out of ones own atmosphere
orce in while.
Il AN tired of your complaining"
said the landlady to the chroni: grum-
bier; "even n worm will turn"
"Yes'm; but this grub doesn't. DE
troU Free Press.
"WE don't care for the rain" said
one baltimore girl to another, rs she
raised an umbrella: "we're neither
sugar nor salt" NO." replied the otn-
er, "but we're lasses."
"rEEs?" said Topper, ind gpantly.
"Fees? Why, in Italy they are simply
awful-and SO paltry. there's nothing
an Italian won't tuke-ah, except
bath, you lnow.-LHe.
Mrs. Wells about to hire new
servant: Now, in regard to going out
visiting, I" Ser ant inte rupt-
You'll not find Bridget Murphy harud,
mum, or dictatoral lOikc.
MARY Ito Alicel-"Y doll looks
very poorly. What ails it," Alice--"It
frets good deal Alfred nocked out
one of its eyes last weei, and it lost a
great deal of sawdust, and hain't been
the same doll since, "-Te.rdS SUting$.
WIFE docking over BILL: do YOU
remember, my dear, how many brook
trout you caught on your fishing trip
last Saturday." Husband: "There
Just twelve of 'em all beauties!
Why" Wife: "The dealer has made
mistake. He only charges for half
dozen"
4 LITTLE girl went into neighbours
house one day, and some apple parings
lay ON table. After sitting while
she said: 81 smell apples" ~ es,"
the lady replied, 81 guess you smell
those apple parings on the plate.
NO, no." said she, "'taint them |
smell. l smell whole apples. "-B0StOn
| JOeuRdl.
THE editor of the Eanville News
walked up suddenly the other II ght,
and fired his revolver at bur lar
across the room. His wife waking up
at the report of the pistol, screamed
out: "What's the matter?" I've shot
Il burglar the ugliest-looking villain |
ever saw" "Y,s," replied his wife,
you've played the deuce. You've shot
hole through the big looIing-glass. p"
1 he editor had shot at his own image
in the mirror.-.irc O'a record.
| A LITTLE Chelsea girl of five years
/ pa> sed last summer on farm in Maine.
I Green-apple time was at hand, and her
aunt, to whose care she had been con-
tided, cautioned her against eating
them. But little Eve could not resist
the forbidden fruit. No particular
harm resulted, but her aunt lie it her
duty to again point out the danger. Il
once knew little girl" she said, who
ate two green apples one day. She W $
sick all night, and in the morning she
was dead" Silence reigned, for the
little one was very thoughtful. At
last she looked up and said: "Do you
think / oil would fordive me if | only
eat one dreen apple and only took two
or three bites out of another ?'-BOS
ton HeraLJ.