Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-06-14

bushel or two of valuable papers. had
smash his cook stove and lick his wife.
Next day Major Hornback called at
this office and not only subscribed for
the Kicker for himself. but sent two
copies to friends in the East, paying us
six dollars in cash. We therefore desire
to correct the item of last week. The
Major was not drunk. 1t was simply
an attack of vertigo, to which he is
subject. He was never drunk in his
life. and more efficient public official,
or kinder husband and father. can
not be found on the face of this globe.
We shall make other corrections from
time to time as the victims come in and
subscribe.
SPECIMEN VENOM.-This week we
nail the lie set afioat last week by some
of the venomous serpents on jackson
Hill to the effect that we had been re-
fused credit al Booker's saloon. No
event of the sort ever occurred, and
the story was set afloat to injure our
commercial standing in Chicago. It
was a lie made up out of whole cloth.
and as soon as we can locate the liar
he'll be made to believe that a double
two-story house fell upon him.
REvENGE.-Two weeks ago we had
the pleasure of showing Steve Battle
up to this community in his true light
that of jail-breaker. incendiary and
robber. In revenge Steve waited for
us in front of the widow Chilton'S
house the other night. where it is we'll
known we are doing a little counting
with view to matrimony, and as We
reached the road he made rush for
us, crying out that he would have our
| life. We were taken unawares.
knocked down and pounded until Wa
couldn't holler. AS Il result, Steve
Battle has been run out of this town
with q rail beneath him, and warned
that he will be hung if he returns.
We are able to be about again, and
return our thanks to such friends as
have sent in flowers, sausages. butter
crackers, Goldfish and other mementoes.
| We expected a dozen wallopings the
first year of our stay, and will probably
get 'em, as we have averaged ope
month so far. The worm will turn
some day, however, and then look out!
THANKs.-On Thursday night, just
as we had exchanged our day-shirt for
the calico Mother Hubbard in which
we sweetly sleep, music suddenly broke
on the Silly atmosphere. 1t was a lit
tie serenade arranged for our benefit
by that golden-haired angel, Miss Bella
Hawkins, whose father has been
prominently mentioned as our next
mayor. She led a band of five, and
they played two fiddles and sang sew
eral old ballads which deeply affected
us. Indeed. for the moment we were
carried back to our mothers knee, and
all that night we felt much nearer
Heaven than ever before. Miss Bella
is not only the superior of any song
stress before the American public, but
her father and mother are stars fitted
to adorn any armament They reside
in that beautiful adobe on the right as
you rise Jackass Hill, and one has but
to glance at the outside to realize that
people of culture live there. Yes, it
was glorious serenade, and we shall
feel the invigorating effects of it for
some months to come. Any SUBSCRIBER
receiving paper with an Xxx marked
in violet ink on tho margin will know
that his time is half-out, and that he is
expected to come again in six months.
Detroit Free Press.