News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1888-09-06

Where he his money made,
| And spiteful people used to say
He was above his trade.
Cleveland Leader.
SUGGESTION.
"Gracious! How well it is preserv-
ed, said one travelling man to another
rs they gazed at q mummy in museum.
sit looks as if it might wake up and
speak if you could only arouse it with
some familiar words"
$50 it does. Suppose you try it With
that story you just told me. ."-NercAant
| TrUUeLIer.
PRECISE.
] Alfonso de Beriot-You saw YOU are
/ superstltious, Miss Gushington, but
would you dare to be married on Fri
day. daEEz-
Miss Gtfs1ifR8g G6fsfi gttoH--What! Next Fri
day? Why, dear Alfonso, you are so
sudden and so unconventional
''You quite misunderstood me. I
! protest. didn't propose
''That's all right, Alfonso, you didn't
propose as they usually do, but 1 like it
just the same. You dear, it shall be
Friday
Alfonso swoons.-!SprjnafeZd Union.
SEVERE LITERARY LABoRs.
ChoIly-Yon look tired, old fel'; what
cher been doing?
Dolly (briefy)-Literary work.
Cholly tsurprisedly) - Don't say!
What branch, old man!
Dolly-Well, you see, know a man
who writes for papers, and this morning
he asked me to help him count the
words in an article he was going to send
down town. Mighty hard work, as
sure you. Almost as hard as writing,
don n'tcherknow!-Judge.
BY EASY STEPS.
Jones-Hello, Smith. Congratula-
tions. [ hear that you are engaged.
But between friends, old fellow, / don't
see how you plucked up courage to do
it.
Smith Well, you see, we got to talk
ing politics, trusts, rings, etc, and drift
ed right on to the matter before we
knew it Burlington Free Press.
PATERNAL GENEROSITY.
"My young friend" said old Mr.. Sur
plus to young Mr.. Giddiboy, edo YOU
not think that you were rash to ask my
daughter to marry you when you are
not able to support herl"
"Well," said the young man, craftily,
perhaps was. I admit my fault, and !
throw myself on your generosity, sir
"That's ri3ht," declared the old gen
tleman. ''You shall not lose by it, I |
assure you. There, sir, is a nickel to
pay your car-fare home. No thanks, if |
you please. Good day, Mr.. Giddiboy."
.CAtcago Neao8.
MISUNDERSTANDING.
"Stranger, I heard you say that you
had just returned from tour of the |
State?''
''Yes, sir
''How is the corn cropE"
''Immense.
..How many bushels do you think it
will average TO tho nero g.
and i''iS bushels bel have nothing f
to do with my business.
D1seUsrED YOUNG LADY.
The young lady was reading story
On the lonely piazza of the Summer hotel.
The story began thus:
cit was at a summer resort in July.
He was a young man and he"
Here the young lady threw aside the
book in disgust. "The story is too ut
Young men at summer resorts in july"
Then she went out under the trees,
climbed into a hammock and went to
'leep.-ChjcagO Neacs.
A FAMILY SCENE.
"Scharley," said old Mrs. Himmig-
leffer to her son, ''ven l leafs you to tend
lot shtand, unit comes me pack unit findt
oh ri oil 1yno oI
)ut; vot sui | thinks? Dot mein poy vas
1ornl Dot"
"Hold on mudder," said Charley, 81
know vot you peter thinks"
"Vas p
"Rats l''-Tinae.
"I'll take your caramels and gum
lrops, Mr.. Peduncle," said Willie, can
Idly, as he pocketed the confectionery
given to him by the young man, 'Fbut
I'll tell you right now that Irene isn't at
nome and isn't going to be, either, un-
ess Mr.. Hankinson comes. She told the
5irl so herself not five minutes ago. l
heard her "-ChtcagO Tribune.
THE LODGE.
Mrs. Wellfxt Showing Aunt Japonica
the new grounds)-That is the lodge
over there.
Aunt Japonica-How nice it must be
to have it SO near The one your uncle
belongs to is morn four miles from
where we live, an sometimes it takes
him all night to get home.
SOME OTHER
Granger-So they amt nuthin' here
fur me wal, stranger, is thar eny other
good post-ottice in town?
A KISS.
Wiggles-Arabella, darling, may I
kiss you!
Arabella-Yes, sweetheart, but kiss
me on the left cheek, please.
Wiggles doing so)-And may l ask.
dearest, why the left cheek?
Little brother(poking his head through
the door)-Because Jack Waggles has
been kissing her right cheek all the af-
ternoon and it's tired.
The engagement is notyet announced.
Troy Times