Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1888-05-03
euiLcINo A HOUSE.
WY . HunorIst Dimes seven Times
Week on Cod0sh Balls,

BUILDING A HOUSE.
Why Hanorist Dimes seven Timss .
Week ON Goldfish Balls.
My DEAR" said I to my wife one
evening last spring. lido you know,
am heartily sick Of boarding"
My wife was a one.minded woman.
1t was my mind. and she always agreed
with me. We had only been married
six months
dear Harold" said she. as she laid
her slim. patrician hand upon my
shoulder (she came of poor but aristo-
cratic parentage)-"L too. am sick of
Goldfish balls. {"
For the seventh time this week we
had had Goldfish halls.
"Harold. DEAR" murmured she.
"why not build house?''
Now, when 1 was twenty. my dear
father presented me with a vacant lot
1t was good locality, and all that was
necessary to make it wholly inhabita-
BILE was house. Every one knows
that no man would be such fool as to
wrap four-acre lot about his form and
lie down to sleep with the stars to
cover him. and bunch of bull thistles
as bed.
A fence will not keep out burglars,
neither will filmy veil of silvery mist
ward off the chill Of the penetrating
night air. That lot was yearning for
house, and here was spending my
life and my wife's life away in board
ing-house.
Darling, you are quite right" l
uttered. II will have plans drawn up
tomorrow. Before the autumnal rains
blast the sere and yellow we will have
q house of our own
"And l will cook such dear sup
pers''-
"No codfsh-balls, mind"
She smiled scornfully, and said:
Il should say nay"
No man ever had better intentions
than l when called upon an archirtect
and told him that l WANTED him to draw
up plans for house.
"Got much of = family?" he asked.
Now. didn't know as that was any
of his business. and l said with my
usual air of wit:
IF it is necessary for you to meas
ure my wife across the shoulders, take
my weight and look over the family
records, I'll have you come up and
look us over"
This pleased him. and he smiled af-
fably. as he responded:
"ln the case of emergency it is
proper for a householder to have
guide
"Well, am alone in the world
that is, my wife and l."
Then he smiled a meaning smile,
and 1 grew impatient and told him to
60 ahead.
"Got much in the bank?'
smiled.
IAN right I'll build you a nice
little nest that will please you from
cellar to nursery"-
What castles we erected while that
darling house was undergoing compile
ton. 1t was such a charming little
house; so sweet and neat in all its ar
rangements, $3.50 perfect that my
wife and l quite worked 10th of our
selves into q fever of excitement
over it.
OF Sunday we were wont to take
our friends to view it. They were all
so delighted with it. They all said it
was the most lovely dwelling in town.
What happy times we would have in
it. No Goldfish balls! Nothing only
just what we wanted. 1t would be
our castle.
After the house was finished I had
man go and furnish it from top to bot
tom. Then-one bright day when the
merry birds We're singing the bill was
presented.
We have Goldfish balls seven times a
week; we are still boarding; was
fool. Somebody leaned financially
against our house and now l don't
even own the lot; I'd forgotten to count
the cost-H S. Heller, in Yankee
Blade.