The evening world., 1888-02-06

Iu~tcrest-The Coroners Tackle II and
sugaest Remedies, Both Medicinal and
ofn Humorous Churactsr-Dr. O'MeaGher
Thinks n Pretty Girl IL Involved.
TO ne Editor q, 1ns Evsnino World!
How. can you stop my. nose from getting red
when I go In the coldf Yours, P. q.
Here is an agonizing appeal for aid and one
which should not be slightingly thrown into
that grave Of buried hopes, the waste-paper
basket. II should be answered.
Answered. Yes; but who shall answer it ?
The great army of anxious inquirers who
are constantly drawing upon the editorial
reservoir OF information, spending two cents
for q postage stamp and q great deal Of time
in carefully framing the question, What
do you think of my handwriting 2" in imita-
tion-if not very close-of the schoolboy's
Spencerian copy-book, naturally think the
newspaper infallible.
They are far from wrong. There is hardly
q question, be it of ever 80 abstruse a charac-
ter, that the editor will not boldly tackle
and answer of hand, and there's no gainsay-
ing his conclusion.
But there be children and fools who ask
questions which even Solomon, arrayed in
all his glory, would dislike to wrestle with
preferring to strip to the buff for such an en-
counter. And odds would be freely offered
against the wise man and no takers be found.
p. CTS interrogatory would be properly
classed with those of children and fools, but
the handwriting is so good that the children
at least are not implicated.
The question being of this class and not
desiring to exalt himself in wisdom above
Solomon, the I" answers to the Anxious -
editor respectfully referred it to the Coroners'
Office for solution.
Coroner Levy carefully weighed each word
of the weighty interrogatory, and said
We'll, that's a question Of almost interna-
tional interest, now that the blue noses of
Nova Scotia are knocking at our doors and
asking for annexation. Whether the blue
notes of Nova Scotia will harmonic with our
own oseate-h ued smellers is q question that
should be carefully considered before we &C
cept annexation, and with annexation per
haps a long and bloody war of the noses.
antipathy felt for Inspector Williams "a Blue
Nose-by the red noses of our own city.
Il can suggest no cure for your CORE.
spondent's affection and won refer you to
my friend MESSENGER. for medical advice.
LET me see the letter. p. G.?' Why
didn't he add the rest of his manner" asked the
Joking Coroner. and hurriedly added
Don't print that. might lose his vote il
Coroner MESSENGER was very practical in hi
suggestion of remedies
II generally bleach q red nose" he said
Dilute carbolic acide or 8 ulphur are the
common remedies. Then, if the patient is g
man and isn't over sensitive, he might use the
ounce of prevention in the nature of a pro
tecting coat of v~aseline, when he sticks the
handle of his face out into the cold"
Coroner Ferdinand Eidman said that he
had known of red roses, the redness of which
was directly attributable, to whiskey, and
good remedy to reduce the brilliancy of colo
so acquired is abstention from the cup
Cases have come under his observation wher,
the nasal organ has beon neatly blanched by
suicide. He wouldn't advise this last rem
cdy. While always successful 1t is of a DIES
perate character and more than liable to b
fatal in its result. Desperate diseases, how
ever, require desperate remedies, and he sait
that The EVENING WoRLD's correspondent
might " go hang himself"
Coroner's Physician O'Meagher took it TO
granted that "P. g." was q sensitive younI
lady. He had been reading of the alphabet
cal cipher in whicht the loves of Baby Bunting
, and Bunnie had been told, and at once real
Pretty Girl" in the letters.
He said that the usual causes Of dcn
} rosaced, or rum blossom" in women j
tight lacing and dyspepsia. Loose corsage,
} diet of q quart of pickles daily, and the tax
ing in of two or three long breaths of cole
8 frosty atmosphere were suggested TO
remedies. Carbolic soap was also recon
mended for outward application.
Dick Cook, Coroner's messenger. ventures
the opinion. that p. G. was living too higl
and suggested a sub basement room and al
I east side laborer's diet.
If THE EVENING WoRLD's correspondent !
unable to choose from the bewildering mum
Der of remedies suggested, let him try then
. all and send the result of his experience vi
. Charon's ferry and Ann Eva Fay, the spiri
medium.