The Portland daily press., 1888-11-21
MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE.
MRS. Drake's Lecture at the Second
Parish.

Yesterday afternoon, Mrs. Drake delivered
her lecture, Marriage and Divorce" In the
yestry Of the Second Parish church, to good
sized audience Of ladies. The following is
an abstract:
Around the Institution Of marriage CEN
tire all social, and even political interests; in
fact, all human interests All civilizations
have advanced or retrograded in proportion
as they have kept sacred the marriage tie.
In looking back over ancient life, we find
that the various ideas In regard to the mar
riage relation gave rise to different types Of
civilization. In the early Aryan race, the
marriage tie was founded upon religion, and
as result Of that religion there we're few, il
any. divorces in that early race. We have a
great deal to say about loose divorce laws,
but IL we wish to do away with divorce let
US raise the sentiment concerning marriage
and check the tendency towards making mar
riage a social contract. Here, indeed, we
might be guided by the Aryans; but there is
a great error In their civilization in common
with other ancient civilizations. that is, the
subjugation Of their woman. This also was
result Of their religion. but with the intro
duction OF Christianity an opposing force
was set in motion, which has come down to
the present day, working its way through
tremendous odds, and at times bei..s almost
lost sight Of.
The ideal conjugal relation Is that Of mu-
tual dependence, there being no inferiority
or superiority Of husband or wife.
Marriages contracted on a physical basis
have very poor chance Of happiness; those
contracted on an intellectual basis often
prove happy, but the highest Of all Is the
spiritual basis. II we would only teach our
daughters that love in its essence is spiritu-
raj and there is such thing as a mating of
spirits we should do away with much un-
happiness in married life.
Woman should be the intellectual compan-
ion of her husband by keeping herself
abreast Of the times The question of do
mestic money is one which has caused me
much thougt. The husband and wife should
have one eommon purse and together should
decide upon the amount to be expended and
the object Of the expenditure. Give your
daughter an allowance and advise her how
to spend it so that she will learn tol apprecI
ate the value Of money.
While we do not wish our girls 10 follow
the old idea OF watching and waiting for a
husband they must not 90 to the other ex-
treme and give up marriage because thev
are able to take care Of themselves and wish
to carry out certain ideas OF their own.
sBut," you say, there are many unhappv
marriages" True. One reason is becanse
the young woman's idea of marriage il
drawn from novels and when they do not
realize this ideal they do not make the best
OF tne marriage relation. Instead Of trying
to bring social life into the home the husband
and wife go, each his or her own way, seek
ing society away from home. They forget
that they are bound by their pledge at the
altar to make the best Of each other. Again.
tney know u they are unhappy they can
There are two ways OF looking at divorce.
the legislative and the individual. The leg
islation on divorce is very broad In most Of
our States and the divorce laws need change
this: What Is the best divorce law that Che
sentiment OF the State will stand? The leg
islative idea Is to make slight changes where
the sentiment OF the people will permit it un-
tll by gradual process there win be uniform
divorce laws throughout the States.
From an individual and Christian stand
point the question is: Shall Christian take
advantage OF the laws on the statute books?
Inclination leads me to say no, except for the
SIN ior which Christ, himself; upholds the
separation OF man and wife. But there are
so many extenuating circumstances that /
can give no decided answer. can only saw.
let every woman be her own Judge in the
matter and when she feels that moral and
spiritual welfare Of herself and children de-
mand separation IL she has taken her chill
dren away from the harmful influence and
taken their support upon herself we all
ought to extend to her the right hand Of fel-
lowship and respect Above all let us have
great deal Of charity
As we are likely at some no distant day to
have the right OF veting on social matters
we must employ the meantime In studying
upon them so we may be ready to act when
the time comes.