The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1888-02-10

HON. JOHN a. ALLEN, CON0k1ss1ONAL|
HUH0RIST.
In the rush and hurry of legislative
business, with one interest crowding
upon the heels Of another, 1t Is
matter Of difficulty for
any one not prominent on the floor to
get recognition from the chair.
One of the advantages Of being Con-
gressional humorist lies in the fact Of
being able to get the attention Of the
House when q really serious member
would be howled into silence by his
colleagues. SIS. Cox was
the greatest of floor wits, but
his efforts were mainly abservable in
clever repartee. He has abandoned
fun for serious craftsmanship, and
with some effort restraints himself
within the bounds Of ponderous formal
tiles.
The distinction Of being the Congress
sional humorist has for two years past
been accorded to John NJ. Allen, of
Tupelo, Miss. who represents the first
District of that State. He Is small
man, without any pretentiousness, and
thin hair on the top Of his head. This
latter fact he explains by saying that
his hair was moth eaten when he was
serving in the army as . private, as
all the combs were allotted tn the off,
GERS. He does not appear frequently
in debates, preferring to speak only
when he has something to say.
There is nothing wicked or malicious
in his satires, but the humor of his
addresses lies largely in quaint compar-
isons.
Allen served the greater pat of his
first term without attracting any
particular attention, AS he is naturally a
modest sort of fellow and did not dis
play his peculiar abilities as a humor.
ist. However, toward the close of the
second session Of his Congressional
career there was caucus of democrat.
ic members for the purpose of harmon
iaing action in regard to the tariff.
Three hours were spent in higgling
and haggling over the matter, but
no Roadway had been made. The
members were becoming irritable. At
this point Allen got up and made q
funny speech. Itwas just what was
needed to put the members in good
humor and avert what seemed TO be an
impending storm. 1t broke up the
caucus, though, for it was impossible
to get down to serious business after
Aliens speech. This incident gave
him the standing ola Congressional
humorist.
Aliens next hit was In q speech on
the increase of salaries In the diplo-
matte service. He ridiculed the idea
that our foreign ministers were starv.
ing to death on 81. 900 per year.
"Some people" said he, "think I am
having too much to say for new
member who never served upon the
Appropriations Committee, but I am
not altogether without experience in
deliberative bodies. I served for one
full term of . year as member Of the
board of aldermen Of the town Of
Tupelo. 1 was chairman of the finance
committee. We spent that year the
sum of $500. That board was defeated
for reelection on account Of its profit :
gate extravagance. Having been one
of the victims Of this bitter experience,
you can readily understand how it has
made me cautious"
He continued for half an hour in
this vein and lick ed the bill.
Allen IL likewise something Of q
wag. One of his constituents, hailing
from one of the chincapin townships of
Mississippi, paid visit to the Nation.
al Capital and Allen had shown him
the sights. Finally the Congressman
took his delighted friend into the
House gallery and was pointing out
to him the distinguished people on the
floor below.
who Is the leader Of the hOuse?'
inquired the Mississippian.
"Oh," said Allen. modestly. "you
will find out when they call the roll.
Tho INST man on the list II leader 0l