News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1888-09-06
AN OLD STORY RETOLD.
And they Say 1t is as Good Now as
Ever il Was.

"Bill wus old Jedge Hiram CaldwelPs
eldest boy-you recollect the Caldwells
used to live on the toll hill near the
cemetery. Old Jedge Caldwell wus
about ez shif'less man ez | ever see,
but Bill had great business head-calc'-
late he must hev inherited from his
mother, who come from the finest stock
in Hampshire county. When he was
boy Bill wuZ always tradin' an swoppln'
an s'pose he started out in life with
more jackknives thand stock store.
An Bill preserved in manhood all them
talents which he exhibited in youth.
Whenever you met man at looked ez
if he'd been run through a sieve you'd
feel mighty safe in bettin' that he'd been
havin' business dealin's with Bill
Caldwell.
"One day Bill came into Eastman's
store an allowed as how he'd be power
full glad to get knittin' needle-his
wife wanted one, he said.
"' Mr.. CALDWELL sez Eastman, a
knittin' needle will cost you jest one
cent"
"Bill looked kind nv surprised like,
an sez, 'knittin' needles must hev gone
up sence | come in fur one last winter
wall, sez Eastman, after payin'
freight an one thing an another | can't
afford to let knittin' needles go for less
n q cent piece
'Blll did mt say anything for minnit
or two, but after lookin' out Nv the door at
the scenery he turnt around an sez:
LcOk here Mr.. Eastman, 1 tell you
what I'll do; I'll trade you an egg for q
knittin' needle
Eastman shook his head. why,
not?' sez Bill. You don't suppose at
darn'd old knittin' needle is wuth as
much ez an egg, do YEP
"I never heerd NV anybody payin'
freight on hens,' sez Eastman; he wuz
the most sarcastic cuss in the township,
Eastman wuz.
"'NO, nor, L never heerd Nv feedin'
knittin' needles, sez Bill. 1T don't cost
nothin' to raise knittin' needles.
"Well, Bill an Eastman argued for
more'n an hour about the hens an
knittin' needles an things, until at last
Eastman give in an sez:' Wall, L s'pose
/ might jest ez well swop ez not, al
though l hate to let anybody get the
advantage nv me- So Eastman give
Bill the knittin needle and Bill gave
Eastman the egg.
''But when Bill got to the door he
turnt round an come back again an
sez: 'Mr. Eastman, amt it the custom
fur you to treat when you've settled
with customer! You an me hev had
our dispute, but we've come to settle
ment and an understandin'. Seems to
me it would be the harnsome thing for
you to treat
"Eastman didn't see it in Just that
light, but Bill hung on so an wuz so
concilatin' that Eastman handed out
tumbler and the bottle O. Medford rum.
81 don't want to seem particular,
sez Bill, pourin' out half tumblerful
Nv the liquor, but l like to take my rum
with an egg in it.
"Now, this come pretty near breakin'
Eastmans heart. He he'd laid the egg
ON shelf behind on the counter, an he
reached for it an handed it to Bill,
sayin' Wall, I'm in for it, an there's
no use NV kickin'.
"Bill broke the egg into the rum, an
10 an behold, it was double yelk eggi
GOSH but Bill was excited.
"Mr. Eas man., sez he, 'you'v' been
d takin' an advantage over me-
"'How so2" asked Eastman.
"'Why, this egg has got two yeiks.'
"What NV that" sez Eastman.
"Well, simply this sez Bill, that
f you're inclined to do the fair thing
you'll hand me over anothr knittin'
needle"