The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-10-06
LET US KICK
BY N. QUAD.

BY N. QUAD.
 really and truly believe that the day will come when the kicker will be classed where he belongs and be enti- tied to the reverence due him. 1 look upon him as 8 philosopher and a phi lanthropist. He stands forth one man out of ten thousand. He is actuated by the most unselfish motives. He is the real reformer.
 am not 8 kicker. 1 am simply taking the preparatory lessons to en- able me to blossom out. The other day when bought ticket to go east they told me at the ticket office:
 "While the train does not leave un- til about eleven, the sleeper is open at nine, and you can go right to bed and wake up at Niagara Falls next morn- ing"
 I entered the sleeper at half past nine and went to bed. That is, it is called going to bed. You are boxed up, boxed in, surrounded and smoth- cred and charged two dollars for the misery. A sleeping car is mockery, fraud and deception. The avarice of the companies results in misery for the passengers. Four other persons had gone to bed, and at ten o'clock we were all asleep. At that hour two men entered with a great chatter. They were talking loudly, and they sat down and continued. I waited fif- teen minutes for one of the other sleepers to kick. No one uttered a protest. Then I rose up and asked: "Do you men know that this is a sleeping-car?"
 "We do," they answered.
 "And do you propose to continue this disturbance2"
 "We propose to talk as long and as loud as we please!'
 called the conductor and inquired |: "I have paid for berth in which to sleep. 1 can't sleep for this disturb ance. Will you stop it?"
 "Really, can't" he answered.
 "Are there no rules?"
 'yes, but people in sleeping car must expect to be disturbed"
 "Oh, they must. Very well-see me later"
 Four others came in with just as much racket, and they kept their chat ter going until eleven o'clock. At half- f-past eleven the lights were turned down and every body was ready for sleep. had been patiently waiting for this. Lying on my back, arms locked over my head and and my pal ate down, I brought a snore which went laundering over that car in a way to open every eye. After two more & man called out:
 "Thunder and blazes, but we've got whale aboard"
 After three more they began to yell at me from every berth. put in two extra ones, and the porter came down and shook my arm and said:
 "Heah-you-stop dat !"
 "Colored man !" said, as I looked up at him, eff you come here and do that again may fire upon youl"
 As soon as he had gone l went back to business. When a man sets out to snore for revenge you'd be surprised to know what a success he can make of it. In five minutes they were call ing for the conductor. He came down and parted the curtains and said:
 "Hey-you-wake up! You are disturbing the car."
 "Conductor, haven't paid for this berth2" I asked.
 "Yes."
 aIs there any rule which prohibits snoring?"
 "No, but"
 "Then you keep away from mel have revolver, and I Inigt take you for . robber!"
 Then I returned to the main ques- tion. I snored in every key of the scale. I snored for blood. had every person in the car swearing mad and ready to fight, and they sent tor the passenger conductor. He refused to interfere. Several chaps volunteered to "pull me ont O that" but when they came close enough to see the muzzle of . revolver they fell back, At two o'clock in the morning they held . convention, and as the result one of them asked:
 @Stranger, can we buy you on1'
 "No, sir"
 aIs there any way on earth to stop that basoo of yours?"
 ~The four of you who came in last were grossly selfish. You had no cart for the rights of others. Tho four