Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-06-25
The Entertaining BriiOn


The Entertaining BritOn.
THE COMPARATIVE MERITS OF ENGLISH AND AMERI-
CAN MEN.
From the Argonaut
The popularity Of young Englishmen in New
York society remains unabate1.
The young En2llShmen In New York offer a va
rety OF types. Some OF them, especially those OF
lower class at home come like conauering heroes.
They grumble at everything American, they COM
plain with bitterness OF the "trains" and the cli-
mate, the lack OF good manners among the women,
the ridiculous dressing OF men, the shoddism, the
absence OF Old families and in their sleeves laugh
compiacently at the people who are running about
like mad dogs and Stralntng every nerve 10 have
them at dinner and dance. Not few OF these
men are Adventures, who gun the simple
New Yorker with confident ease. 'My cousin, Sir
Robert -: my elder brother, who married the
daughter OF Lord =" a man not IN The swim,
can nave no idea what a few such sentences. COM
blned with a gentlelnanly appearance, chilly
manner, good supply OF clothes and cheek can
10 here in New York among people who are
neither dense nor inexperienced. The Newark
bogus lord was an exaggerated type OF this class
and so long as Americans lay themselves open to
this sort OF thing they will be fooled and then
jerred at By the great family OF bogus LORDS who
make America their happy hunting grounds. 1t
is rather surprising that so many bitter expert
ences have not taught our countrymen to be
little more tudicious. But people who learn slowly
generally learn thoroughly.
The better class OF Englishmen who infest New
York are generally very nice fellows, who stand
their spelling well. Excepting such men az the
Duke OF Marlborough, whose reception here was
something TO forget as soon as possible, they are
generally takatiye. unaffected, jolly fellows with
long legs little brains and manners either quietly
dignified or boyiShly ingenious. They are better
looking than our men and better-tempered They
are much more ignorant OF our country than we OF
theirs. They ali think TO live on a ranch must be
bliss, and that bears, buiralos mountain
before the door OF the rancher's cabin,
while he sits 1anguidly in the doorway
Ts o T 1ng IN 1s wa
something unbelievable. They are prey for the
commonest swindler; but once they get swindled-
as they always do in the first year-Uhey become
ab5urdly suspicious OF every one, and begin to
regard the honest man as Diogenes and Hamlet
did. They are the most phlegmatic men on earth
in their loves, the most obstinate in their hates
Their ideal Is TO be country gentlemen on large
estates in England and they hate the life OF large
every point, TO the average American?
And this is one OF the secrets or their popularity
over here. We like change and they are change.
The other secret OF their popularity Is that socially
they are as superior TO our men our women are
socially superior TO their women. And IL is socially
that they are so much In demand. American men
a class do not shine in society. The reason for
which is very simple-they have no time to learn
to be entertaining 1t IS next 10 impossible for a
man who has been hard at work in ONCE all day
TO sit down IN the evening and entertain, with
airy persfage some raw girl fresh from college or
some gay married woman 1u OF airs and graces and
nonsense. He Is tired out, he Is preoccuped, and
he VIII remain so until he does not have
to spend his entire day In the Office. How can he
entertain when he never reads anything but what
can better him from a business point OF view
when all his brains and energies concentrated
on the problem he has undertaken to solve? He
may be, as FAR as conversation goes, a mute In
glorious DderOt, an undeveloped sydney Smith.
all that possible brillancy has been focused on his
business, at which he probably is genius. He is
Ike very successful literary people, who are
VIGOROUSLY the dulest people in the world TO con-
verse with And why? Because all their bright
est and most original thoughts are greedily gar
nered up 10 the minutest dropped Seed and are put
into their next book whence they dazzle the world
Not so the young, 1tinerant Englishman. He is
business
has gone through college and now his work in life
is to deck q crack regiment and be charming. He
rarely has much native brightness as the
American, but with unlimited spare time one can
do good deal. He acquires all the habits OF So
| clety, IL soon becomes his nature to laugh and
| talk and look unutterabie things In the easiest
way Imaginable. lie Is good company and good
| listener, makes conversation with the skill OF
practiced hand-one Who honorS the Hii horror OF
| dead silence, and Is altogether a good alLrOund
| man from the society point OF view.
! young giri, who has idied all day. and has
| nothing 10 do with herself but be charming sweet
and clever goes to dinner She is full OF vitality
/ Drumming over with conversation and fun; she
| longs Tor some one TO laugh and joke with. She
\ sits at dinner between an American and an Eng
/ lshInan, both young, agreeable and good looking
The American Is say, a lawyer, and has his first
| important case coming up tomorrow He mas
consented TO come this evening only at the earnest
request OF Ills nostesS who Is his dear friend. He
| Is worried, pre-occuped and tired. The young
| lady ba0bleS Joyously to him ripping stream
OF charming comnon-places. He tries to be
| constrained and forced, and his eyes,
despite his Efforts, stare vacantly at her smiling
| lace. With the Keen, instructive perceptions OF
her sex she sees he Is bored, though bravely bat
| tnng against IL. She is pilued, as who would not
De, ana turns 10 her neghbor. He Is talkattve,
| though reserved, listens with evident amusement
| 10 her sallleS, thaws under her glances, becomes
entertaining, and better still, is evidently enjoy
lug TO the full her wit and brilliancy She thinks
him the most delightful OF men, and when she
goes home asks her mamma to have him to dinner.
| But The scales are evenly balanced. The En-
gllsnInan talks well and IS entertaining, because
the English girl talks badly and IS heavy as an
amateurs bread. void existed, and all-providing
nature created the necessary medium 10 MI IL.
some one In society must talk, and II one party
| the vineyard have given the Englishman glib
prohciency, almost mechanical, and certainly
marvellous. He can be as enthusiastic as his ma
lure Will permit before pair OF tcy-blue eyes, OF
uhsinlhng unreSponsive, healthy red lips, which
would chill an American TO the marrow. We, on
our Side, can proudly produce our dear, bewrttten
ignis-iatuus OF an American girl. She cannot only
ciod OF mingled dependency and absent-minded-
ness, as Moses struck water from rock. One can
imagine her diSc0urslng vvaciOuSly 10 the sphinx,
| quite unawed by It's ponder0us unreSp0nsiveness,
seifpossessed and witty.
Old gentleman-"strange! don't see grave Of
person as old as am"
His daughter-"why, OF course not, father; you
must remember this Is a comparatively new grave
yard."-LVe.
man was arrested in Waterbury the other day
tor insulting lady passing In the street. In court
AFTER he was convicted, he protested that he
merely said: "Ah, there-stay there" The Judge's
reply was: "WelL you Will get $40 me for tah
there and fifteen days In jan tor stay there. ~