The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-11-22
AN EPISODE OF EDITORIAL LIFE IN
SOUTHERN STATES.

One night the city editor was tbrea.
ened with symptoms of pneumonia ant
compelled to leave the office for home al
earlier hour than usual. After caution.
ing me to be careful about my .local.
as he would not be there to overlook il
he appointed ne his proxy and went off,
l assured him confidently that was
quite capable OF representing him, and
wished him good night and a speedy
recovery, He had not been gone an
hour when was called off to visit a
German dance that was going on close
by for the purpose of reporting it. Com
ing back shortly before the paper went
TO press, / scribbled off an account of IL,
which headed Dutch Dancers, sent
It up, and after consuming hasty sup.
| per, as usual, went to bed with the proud
consciousness of having done my duty
IN that station Of life in which it is ex-
ceedIngly doubtful whether it has ever
pleased Provider ce to place anybody.
The next day at two o'clock, as | was
on my way to the office, l met the tele.
graph editor, and not having as he in
formed me, been to bed, might or might
not be aware of what was going on.
When he had borrowed 81 for the rather
doubtful purpose of "tapering off," he
asked
Going to the Office 2"
Yes" replied.
"Wouldn't if were you."
why not p inquired.
Just been there myself they're look
ing for you -
who are looking for me 7"
why, every blessed German in town.
They say they are going to make lead
mine Of youH Good thing you are so
precious ugly or | might have been mis-.
taken for you myself"
Thinking he must be drunk. and not
wishing to continue the conversation if
he was, l laughed and passed on. Ihad
nearly reached my destination when
run up against the city editor, who, find
ing the symptoms of the night before
false alarm, had returned to work.
/ was about to greet him when,
Hello !! he cried, you are the identi-
cal lunatic was hunting What in the
dickens have you been doing -
This last sentence originally repiete
with strange invectives, have thought
ut to revise, retaining merely the sense
thereof, an office shall have to perform
with most of this gentleman's utterance.
wv ell, what have been doing? You
seem in pretty state of mind about
something ~
II just knew you'd play thunder when
went off,"
But what have done -
Done Why, doggonit. you've in:
suited every German in town: lost the
paper 400 subscribers and deuce knows
hnNv aAunrtisn,nnnN. -
Have really 2" | broke in, seriously
alarmed. But how =
But the worst of it, pursued the
trenzied editor, not noticing my inter
ruption in his excitement, they think
it's me !"
Think what's you ~
Why, you bul-headed British out
rage, think you're me ~
You must feel intensely flattered,
Colonel; but l wish you'd tell me what
I've done"
Didn't you write up that German
ball 2 he almost shrieked.
Yes"
"Well ~
well 2"
And you headed it'Dutch Dancers;'"
Il did"
And yet you ask me what you've
done ! Why dad blast my skin Are
you aware that when you call nice fat
swinging German a Dutch
man you insult him mortally -
Cant say am."
"Well, you will be if you saunteI
round to the office. There are about
fifty of them looking for you with shot
guns. They're making things happen
around there l promise you ~
1t turned out as he said In my inno-
cent zeal to do honor to the German
element had unhappily selected words
which expressed to their ears the most
pointed and humiliatiDg affront. The
city editors anger, however, was not
proof against the pathns of my situation,
which really was a serious one. although
my mistake affected him almost as it
did myself in his capacity of reviser or
expugner of bad matter. He was silent
A moment and then he said:
Look here, old man, I'm sorry for
you. | don't want those rascals to 20
ynn up. Sneak up stairs and get sjme
paper and then wen go and monkey
with Fritz and get him to talk with his
plagued countrymen."
Fritz was German Il dare not say
Dutch, even now much pstronized by
our office. Without going into details.
let it suffice to say that the purchase of
enough lager beer to jaundice an ele-
phant, most of which clandestinely de-
posted in the various spittoons that
adorned Fritz's floor, an hour or two of
indefatgable flattery, the expenditure
Of nearly months salary and two COL
umns of explanatory matter in the next
edition had the effect of neu-
the baneful effects of my tenn
porary authority. do not think we
lost single subscriber but
never heard the last of my Dutch dan.
cers.-from MdTmillian's Magazine