The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-11-24
BRIGET BITS.

II AN on my way home, Doctor" said a cti-
zen who was AFTER some free advice, and I'm
tired and worn out. What ought to take ?"
Take eab'' replied the Intelligent physi-
cian.-W Worcester Gazette.
A LITTLE GIRL was sitting on the floor, when
the sun sftone'in her lace. 60 way! go 'way!'
she cried. striking at it,
You move, dear, and it won't trouble you, =
said her mamma.
Il SAINT; dot here first" said the little one.
Boston YOUTHS Companion
AsxIous MOTHER Why, my daughter. in
tears. What has happened,
Married ,Daughter-f--I got mad at Arthur
this morning and said q lot of-of mean things,
ana then be said a lot of meaner ones, and boo
hoo! couldn't think of anything mean enough
to say back, boo hoo, Philadelphia Re
cord
NEWLY NATURALIzED CITIZEN downtown
ward. New York --Arra, Pat, Anlerikin liberty
is the Divifs own fraud. Oh whit to the polls,
and they wud only lave me vote onct.
Experienced CitiZen-Dont he onaiZy, Moik,
Amerlkin liberty is all roigbt. 1t was crazy
ELECTION officer that yez Sthruck. Philu1ei phid
Record.
FoND MoTHER-we1, Harold, how are you
succeeding at college:
Harold-The professors say am getting well
up in figures.
"Indeed!
Yes; l used to be seventh in my class, and
now stand sixteenth. Oh, I'm pushing on -
Ydnhee BiGde.
WELL. WILLIAM" said Mr.. Hardhead to his
new confidential clerk you are in a first-class
position now at a good salary. ! shall expect
you to be faithful and diigent; in fact, to make
all my interests your own. 1t won't be neces-
sary, however, for you to make love to the
typewriter. I'll attend to her myself. "-TeTTe
Hdute Express.
SORRY HE FOUND IT.-Ofice Boy-Here's a
pocketbook, sir, which you dropped.
Muscular Merchant lgrasping boys hand and
wringing it vigorouSlyt-Honest lad! What
shall do to show my gratitude?
Lad (wincing under his torture, gasps)--I.et
go of my hand, sir, and wen call it square,
Te.rGS Siftings.
PA" asked the small boy, whit is a
heroine?''
Your mother is heroine" replied the
parent.
How heroine?'
why, she married your father when his in
come was only $500 year-and she knew it.
Norristoton Herald.
HE was tenderfoot and the cultured cowboy
was filling him with information. "Why is 1t
that the Indians wear those headdresses of
feaUhers?" asked the inquiring and anxious
mind.
well, replied the gentle cowboy, 81 believe
the reason generally given is to keep his wig
wam '-DenUer Ne,0S
SIZE was at dance and musicale the other
evening, dressed handsomely in white satin
She wore black kids. however. why dill you
Hoe wear "Hlie gloves! aSkeu d Erlenu.
20, my cousin died at Cheyenne last night
and had to show some respect to her memory ~
and she continued the giddy waltz with her
partner.-Denuer NetcS.
BELvA LOCKWOOD has no reason to feel dis
couraged at the smaIlness of her vote. Four
years ago she received four votes; this year she
got eight-an increase of 100 per cent and at
this rate of increase it does not take much
figuring to show that about the year 24SS Belva
will stand pretty good chance Of sweeping the
country.-AoTriSt00n Herald.
Mr. BLIFKINs-Catch me paying that fellow
$40 to dig that little ditch; III go out and dig il
myself.
Mrs Blifkns-Horrors! Have you.lost your
senses, Mr.. BlifkinsS What will the neighbors
think?
They'll only think I'm paying an election
bet, my dear. "-Phitddeiphio Record.