The Arizona champion., 1888-09-15
WEEKLY CHAMPION
BITS OF FUN.

"What have you got in the shape of orangesl" ''Only round ones, sir.
 Every man likes to talk about himself; good listener make a de lightful wife.
 A poet talks of 1.-Two Ways "i Love" One of them doubtless i. the bridal path.-Life.
 A good man gone wrong is sight sad enough to make cue wish ht had been found out before he left. - N. o. Picayune.
 In Denmark, says Scranton Truth, most of the girls are trained in agrs- culture. In this country the gfrls take more kindly to husbaudry.
 A Natural Inquiry-First New porter-There's another English Duke coming here soon. Second Newporter--You don't say4 Whats his scandali-Puck.
 'There is less and less of hustle in the world of fashion says con. temporary. It is hard to tell &heth- CT; this is a summer resort news item or Q fashion note'-N. Y Tri- bune.
 A man ''stops" at hotel when he lodges for one night; he ''puts up" when he is given sky parlor; he is. 'guest of the landlord" when he does not pay.-N. O. Times.
 "Young man" he said solemnly, ''do you ever contemplate the time when you will occupy mansion in the skiesl A mansionl No, I'll be luckier than I've ever been in this world if l get room flat on tha out skirts. life.
 The subject of conversation at an evening entertainment was the in teligence of animals, particularly dogs. Said Smith Their are dogs that have more sense than their masters" Just so, responded young Jones. I've got that kind of dog myself.
 Dinguss-Shadbolt; can you
 
 spare me S52 Shadbolt-Certainly; I'll just give you my note for the amount. Shadb3lt (who knows him) No use wasting paper, Dinguss. I told you I could spare the S5.- Chicago Tribnne.
 No Strain on the Imaginatiop- Young Wife-Now candidly hubby, don't my cooking taste as good as the stuff you got at the restaurant Hubby --Y-e-e,f but you see, dearie at the restaurant I can look at the bill of fare and find out what I'm eatlng.-Texas Siftings.
 The Pig Wasn't to Blame Wife On the 25th of next Novom- Der we will celebrate our silver we'd ding. Don't you think we ought to kill the fat pig and have a big feastl Husband-Kill the pig I don't see how the unfortunate animal is to blame for what happened twenty five years ago.--Texas Siftings.
 A Brave Warrior-"Yes, boys, said old Bellows, proudly beating his breast, I've been a soldier in my time, and if I do say it myself, like the war-horse of Scripture, l could ever scent the battle from afar." 'I s'pose ventured young Paperwate, ''that on many occasions that saved your lifel"-Life,
 Not so Particular-Customer- Can you fit me with nice pair of shoes todayl Shoe Merchant-Er- married or singlel Customer-MeI Oh, I'm married. Why2 Shoe Mer. chant-Thats all right, then. If you are a married man l guess we can fix you easy enough; but if you were a bachelor l WIS going to say that 1 did not believe we had onything that would suit yon.--1he Idea.
 His Modest Desire-Young man ito waiter)-Waiter, 1 want some roast turkey. Give me the outside slice off the breast, nice large piece of the liver. and, as I am hungry, you might bring me both second joints. Waiter Yes sir; anything elsel Young man( (contemp- latively)-Yes, there is somethin. more l intended to order. Let me-see. Waiter--I guess it must be the cart. How'll you have it coook edl-N. Y. Sun.
 One More Dlsappointment-Em- ployer-"Willialn. you have now worked for me tn ee years" 1" Yes sir. And have always found you in dustrious painataking and honest. l tiye tried tJ Le, sir" "Now l desiri to show tA,.t 1 appreciate your ideiity." Thank you ST. " fo. the next two months yoa will work on the books until II o'clock every night. l 10 not fear to leave you alone in the offce at all. I have a great deal ol. confidence in you WlIuam "-l Incoln ,Journai