davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1888-02-03
FOR ASSEMBLY,

FOR ASSEMBLY,
G. NJ. BROWN.
OF Harrisviile.
JOS. THOMAS, JR,
OF Karns City
FOR DELEGATES TO NATIONAL COyyENTIO,
J. III. NEGLEY, ESQ.
OF Butler.
". C. THOMPSON, ESQ,
OF Butler
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1888-02-03
Prospect w hittlingS.

UNUs AMICoRUM
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1888-12-28
HER "cHRISTIAN" SPIRIT.


Thar's ies' one pint abeout me thetn show I'm
When absent folks is talked abeout l alters
takes their part.
/ speak good O. ny neighbors howsomeyer
mean they be.
An good in ey'ry critter, make efforts fer ter
see;
An, eff so be it happens other folks in Judgment
Ter gossip O. their feller men, keep my mouth
tight shet.
- thank my stars tibet amt like the min'ste 8
wife, Ms Brown
Thet critter knows the weak pints O. most ey'ry
one in town;
, An'-lan' O. Goshen les ter hear her lies nd
make you smile. FL
thank the Lord O. marcy, tibet tibet thar way
amt my style.
alters hear her slanderiu' ag'in my wish an
will.
With ms-ef can't say no good o. folks, jes'
keep still.
Thar's tibet thar shirIess Missus wilks On
folks she's alters hard
never seen sech clothes as hern a-hangin' In
the yard
Her tongues hung in the middle an she lies
with all her might.
Her house is like pig-pen, an her front steps
is sight.
She ISLANDERS all the men in town; but, look at
her son Bill
With meet can't say no good O. folks. ies'
keep still.
Then thar's thet aggravatIn' old Miss Green,
across the road.
OF gossipin' an slanderin' she alters hez
load
She tells We all the vittles neighbors hez upon
the shelf
1 kRou she hez salt pork at leas' six times a
week herself.
She's alters poppin' in ter borrer my new cof-
fee-mill.
With nas-ef can't say no good O. folks, jes'
keep still
Thar's our mex neighbors, Virgins folks,
knows ev'ry body's ways;
They're fond O. calm people beats but Wig
gins aegsr pays;
Why, at the corner grocery-the cheapest place
in town
They couldn't get pinch o salt onless they
paid cash down;
Yet they run down old Boggs cause he can't
pay his butcher bill
With ,as-ef can't say no good o folks, ies
keep still
But let EN- go an gossip-we air human crit
tiers all
1 know a Christians duty-but got ter make
On poor old Missus smalley. They're in some
scrape, mistrust
got ter kinder hurry, er Miss Green IL know
il fust;
Then she'll be pryin' round an ies' gossipin
her I'LL
With nss-ef can't say no good o. folks, les
keep still
Harry B Smith. in A,srioa
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1888-12-28
Business Is Business.

Jake-There's man out there who
wants to know if you need a sign
writer.
Dealer-We need a good many signs,
don't we?
Jake-I should say so.
Dealer-How many can he make?
Jake-He says he can turn out one
hundred and twenty-five week.
Dealer-Could we get along on one
hundred and twenty-five all winter?
Jake-Yes, l guess so.
Dealer-W ell, tell him to come here
all next week on trial and make US
samples, and if we're satisfied at the
end of the week :-e'll hire him--De-
troit Free Press.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1888-12-28
SAMPLES ASSURANCE.
How Merry" Drummer Replenished
His stock of Cash.

now u drummer hepIen1Sne0
His Stock of Cash.
Numerous instances are on record of
the striking self-possession. or in the
vernacular, nerve" possessed by Sam
Sample. Concealed under this pseu-
donym is travelling man who has
friends from one coast to the other.
Before he had made his success as a
commercial traveller he was staying in
Minneapolis for no reason whatever
except that he happened to be there
and couldn't get away. He was man
of good appearance, however, and 60
ing to hotel he registered in an i'm
pressive manner. In short time he
was well acquainted with the landlord.
and when he spoke of draft that func-
tionary very promptly undertook the
responsibility of cashing it.
Just make out your draft" said the
landlord. Here, this piece of note
paper will do"
Sam sat down and in a short time re-
marked: Here's draft for fifty now,
if you will oblige me -ah, thanksr'
But" said the landlord. "you
haven't made the draft on any body.
There's no drawer"
''Oh, that's all right" said Sam;
You know more people than l do;
just fill it in to suit yourself. l left it
blank on purpose"
1t is but justice to Sam to say that he
is entirely square with the landlord
now and that he could cash draft for
five hundred there to-day if he desired.
Merchant Trareler.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1888-12-28
UNMARKED LOGS.
How They Interfere With the Regular
Work Of Boom-Men.

How They Interfere With the Regular
Work Of Boom-Men.
'.Dead-headn logs are the derelicts Of
the lumber woods. Usually they are
among the best timber in the "drive,"
but they get in there surreptitiously.
They are the property of no one, and in
the boom limits they drift about laden
with the curses from the boom men,
who roll them over and over, looking
in vain for mark. That is the trouble
with the ''dead-head." he has no marks.
He may be good log, clear stuff at
that, but he belongs to no one. He
causes more trouble than twenty in
ferior sticks.
The boom men get more wettings
through the season hunting for a
mark on .'dead-head" than from all
the rest put together. And he keeps it
up so interminably. 1t is not once or
twice, but dozen times. that the
''dead-head'' puts in an appearance to
again fool the unhappy boom man.
He may be showed off into a corner.
but he won't stay showed, and he comes
and impudently mingles with the legit-
imates, till at last, when the season is
over, and all the logs properly marked
are delivered, then comes the day ci
reckoning for the .'dead-head."
He has multiplied hugely. and now
there is from 10000 to $4,000 feet OF
him in every boom limit in Michigan
and Wisconsin. He is accordingly put
up at auction, and, like a pounded
steer. sold to pay the expense of his
keeping. Seriously, the care in mark.
ing logs at the banking ground can not
be too great. The surprising shortage
in a winters numbering is largely due
to carelessness. and the 'deadheadr
log Il the result-Nmbernaa
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1888-12-28
High Iy Intelligent Proverbs.

Dom be unpopular. De unpopular man
ain liked by de neighbors.
De whitewash brush covereth a null
titude er spots.
De man wot steals money FUN de
pocket OBJ his friends ain no better dan
a thief.
Don eat h'arty dinner eff yer ain
hungry en- have t pay for it.
DON propose marriage to an old maid
onless you want to marry her.
Truf am mighty, but he ain alters easy
to trabbel with.
De American citizen am king in he
own right, but he amt got no subjects.
De wise man leabs his winders on
locked at night so dat de boyglers won't
hev t smash de glass t git in.-Har-
per's Bazar.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1888-12-28
PULMONARY DISEASES.
How Climate Is Made the Scapegoat OF
Personal Imprudence.


pulmonary disease is the scourge OF
our climate" says the medical faculty,
in its sententious way. This has long
been said, and the phrase will probably
continue to be repeated while grass
grows and water runs. Yet it is little
better than libel on the elements, for
all that.
Climate is made the scapegoat OF per-
sonal imprudence. II people UiN over
heat their houses and places of BUSH
ness in winter, if they choose to sit, for
an hour at time, Overcoated, shawled,
hated and India-rubbered, in one an
others oven-like Offices, and to plunge
thence. bathed in perspiration. into an
Open-air temperature below the freez-
ing point. what right have they to
charge the climate with their coughs,
influenzas. sore Threats and consump-
tons? Nobody could be pitched out of
the tropic of Capricorn into the frigid
zone two or three times a day without
damage to his breathing apparatus. we
take it.
Practically, SO far as difference of
temperature is concerned, thousands of
US pass through this sort of ordeal al
most every winters day. And yet suf-
ferers from diphtheria, pneumonia,
bronchitis, asthma. ETC., generated by
their own insane neglect of the most
obvious sanitary rules, are taught to
believe that they are the victims of
climatic influences.
Keep the thermometer down to sixty
five degrees in your stores, counting
houses and domicils from November
till April; never sit in rooms heated even
to that moderate degree in your beaver
cloths, furs and promenade headgear;
warm yourselves with exercise instead
of immoderate artificial heat; and don't
be afraid to let the outside air
brush the inside of your dwellings,
ETC.. with its healthful wings. at least
twice every twenty-;our hours Do
this, all We who are subject" to coughs
and colds that keep you barking and
snuffiing the winter through, with
deadly-like glimpse of consumption
in prospective, and we venture to say
you will think better of this terrible
climate" next spring than you do at
present.-N 7. Ledler
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1888-12-28
ROYAL ETIQUETTE.
Members of the Queens Household Like
to Act as Plain People.

Members of the Queens Household Like
to Act as Plain People.
The custom of English royal families
are frequently startling, original, and
over-elaborate to New Highlander. But
at the same time there is frequently con-
siderable simplicity observable, partic-
ularly so the higher in rank you 60.
The royal family. although surrounded
by inevitable forms and ceremonies, at
every opportunity make an effort to
free themselves from these customs and
restraints. For instance, if you visit as
a guest at Marlborough House you will
find less formality and etiquette than
in many families lower down in the
social scale. Such naughty old danes
as the Dowager-Duchess of Marl-
borough and others of her style would
not put you at your ease as do the
Prince and Princess of Wales by their
simple manners. A friend of mine who
visited them told me they entered the
room where he waited them, unan-
nounced. and greeted him simply and
cordially. Only the first words adj
dressed to them must be "your Royal
Highness." and need not be said again.
The Prince, in fact. particularly enjoys
an unconstrained manner in those about
him; the easier you are, within the
bounds Of good breeding. the better he
likes you. He talks little himself, al
though he makes an excellent speech
and address. but he is good listener.
He, like all the reigning family, speaks
with a slight German accent, his RS be
ing very foreign.
The Princess. of course. speaks with
even more of an accent, and, as she is
quite deaf, she also is not much OF a
conversationalist. There are people
who think she has nothing to say. My
lady readers may be interested to know
that her three daughters have been
taught at the Dress Reform Association
to make their own dresses, which are
always simple, but admirably cut and
fitted. The wardrobe of the Princess
is kept in large upper room at the
Marlborough house, which room is
lined with shelves, inclosed by doors.
All the dresses are folded in large sheets
on these shelves, which draw out, and
two or three maids have charge of a
large and gorgeous assortment OF cos
tunes of every conceivable occasion.
No servant is allowed to be seen by
their Royal Highness. except those
whose duty is to be with them or near
them. As they approach the maids
and men must hide themselves, but this
custom is not confined to royalty; it ex-
lists in all other houses of the aristoc-
racy as we'll And there is we'll
known Duke who, if in driving over his
estates sees a servant or labOrer, has
him discharged at once. and should the
trembling hireling hear him approach
climbs the nearest tree or hides himself
behind it or bush, as though guilty of
some misdemeanor. But this Duke is
nothing, if not eccentric. For instance,
the finest apartments in one Of his cas-
ties are under the ground, and. except
for an occasional ride or drive. he lives
buried beneath the surface of the earth,
in a princely manner, to be sure, but in
perpetual candle light, or, let us hope,
electric light.-Boston Transcript.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1888-12-28
RELIGIOUS AND EDUCATIONAL.

Remember that education. like
some other things, does not consist in
the multitude of things man possesses.
~ G.. Holland.
That the universe was formed by q
fortuitous concourse of atoms, i will
no more believe than that the accident
al jumbling of the alphabet would fall
into most ingenious treatise of philOs-
ophy. -Swrtt.
Prayer is the preface to the book
of Christian living; the text OF the life
sermon; the girding on the armor for
battle; the pilgrims preparation for
bis journey. 1t must be supplemented
by action, or it amounts to nothing
Phelps.
Common mercies and repeated
blessings become an old story, and are
apt to be neglected. 1t is the rare that
arrests attention and excites interest
There is danger that the number of Di-
vine promises may cheaper them in our
estimation and make US Indifferent to
their preciousness.
The Sunday-school should be the
church at work, teaching and training
its membership and its little ones. So
shall the church be able to say: BE
hold, l and the children whom the
Lord hath given me are signs and WON
ders in Israel from the Lord of hosts,
which dwelleth in Mount Zion.-Kin6
Words.
In religious matters opposites are
often very strangely aHied to each
other. Humility brings exultation, sac
rifice brings joy, and servitude brings
glory. Weakness is strength. pain is
pleasure, duties are privileges. and Ia
Dor and prayer and fighting bring only
rest and peace. The rest of Heaven will
be the workings of love.-Golden Cen
ser.
-"Ye must be born again." said
Christ to the teacher in Israel. The
same word is to the unearned man.
Rich and poor come into the family of
God in the same way; the great and the
lOwly are brothers here, for both are
OOTH VI Tic SdLrc. w ituOuL ILLS OlTth
no one can enter Heaven. for only there
is life given; but receiving it. we are at
once in the kingdom of God.-United
Presbyterian.
1t is said that, though for awhils
the adjustment of compulsory attend
ance at daily prayers at Harvard Uni
versity worked well, the young men,
under the voluntary principle, have be-
come neglectful, and it is proposed to
re-establish the old rule requiring
students to attend. Compulsory"
worship is a very poor thing, but reg
ular religious services in a college
ought to be maintained and respected
Those who admire and love knowl-
edge for its own sake ought to wish to
see its elements made accessible to all,
were it only that they may be the moro
thoroughly examined into, and more
effectually developed in their conse-
quences, and receive that ductility and
plastic quality which the pressure of
the minds Of all description. constantly
molding them to their purpose, can
only bestOw.-Sir j. f. W. Herschel.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1888-12-28
AN UNFOUGHT DUEL
A New York Lawyer Tells q Good Story I. {
Ante-Bellum Days.

Ante-Bellum Days.
A well-known lawyer of this city tells
good story of ante-bellum times that,
inasmuch as it is more or less histor-
ical, will bear repeating. The story is
about as follows: 1t was somewhere in
lS4S or Whereabouts. Party feeling. as
between North and South, was running
pretty strong, and more especially was
this the case in Washington, where
Congress was in session. Congressman
Fetherstone, of Mississippi. saw fit one
day during a Congressional sitting
to refer to the conduct OF a certain IL
linois regiment, commanded by Major
Bissell, at one Of the battles of the Mex
lean war as being cowardly. Major
Bissell, who was also a Congressman,
was present on the floor at the time.
His ire was reused to its highest pitch,
and. going over to where Congressman
Fetherstone stood, he shook his fist in
his face and shouted:
'Cowardly! Why, you contemplate
liar. why don't you refer to the conduct
of the Mississippi regiment which all
during the action. and while We were
in the thick of the fight, was more than
half a mile away and hadn't drawn q
trigger?'
The Mississippi regiment referred to
happened to have been commanded by
Colonel JEFF Davis, who was also then
in Washington. and who when he heard
Of Major Bissel's remarks demanded an
apology. This Major Bissell would not
give, and Col onel Davis sent "a friend"
to fix up matters. The result of this
negotiation was a challenge for duel.
which was to have been fought the day
following. lack" Taylor was Presi-
dent at the time, and as JEFF Davis was
his son-in-law he was bound that the
duel should not come off, and accord
ingly issued warrant for Major Bis
sells arrest Major Bissell was duly
arrested by United States marshal
and brought before the President.
'See here, Mr.. President" said the
Major, "you have had me arrested be-
cause 1 am going to fight duel Why
do you arrest me? l am not the chal-
longing party. Why don't you arrest
your son-in-law, Colonel Davis? The
Southerners will all say that became
afraid and had myself arrested to avoid
the consequences of fight if you allow
this to go on"
This argument seemed to strike '1Old
Zach" who thereupon caused the ar
rest of his son-in-law, Colonel Davis.
After much persuasive diplomacy on
the part Of the President the would-be
duelists were brought together and the
quarrel was patched up. Both parties
are now living. Major BisselI served
with distinction during the late war
and Is now living in retirement on q
farm in Illinois, and everyone knows
the subsequent history Of Colonel"
Davis.-N Z. Herald
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1888-12-28
WIT AND WISDOM.

Nothing is so uncertain as the minds
Of the multitude.-Liry.
"A little knowledge wisely used is
better than all knowledge disused.
We promise according to our
hopes and perform according to our
fears.
When a man settles money on his
son it frequently unsettles the SON.
Yonkers Statesman.
Seldom was ever knowledge given
to keep, but to impart; the grace of this
rich jewel is lost in concealment-
Bishop j. Hall.
Blessed be mirthfulness! 1t is one
of the renovatOrs of the world. Men will
let you abuse them if only you will
make them laugh.-Beecher.
The man who is suspicious lives in
constant state of unhappiness. 1t
would be better for his peace of mind to
be too trustful than too guarded.
The condition of the world would
be improved if men were to think less
of the dishonor of submitting to wrong.
and more of the dishonor Of doing it.
What is liberty without wisdom
and without virtue? 1t is the greatest
of all evils; for it is folly, vice and mad
ness. without tuition or restraint
Burke.
You may set it down as truth,
which admits of few exceptions, that
those who ask your opinion really want
your praise-Dr. Olirer Wendell
Holmes.
An affection is worth far more than
an idea if you can not have both, and
there is nothing that will start an idea
so quickly as an affection.-Dr. C. Il
Pdrkhurst.
We are members of one great body.
Nature planted in US a mutual love, and
fitted us for social life. We must con-
slider that we were born for the good of
the whole.-Seneca.
The reformer of practical abuses
first begins to be wise when ne allows
for the obstinate vitality of human err
ror and human folly, and is willing to
believe that those who can not see as
he does are not themselves necessarily
bad men, Russell LoVeH.
1t is in the time of trouble, when
some to whom we may have looked for
consolation and encouragement regard
US with GOODNESS, and others, perhaps,
treat US with hostility, that the warmth
of the friendly heart and the support
of the friendly hand acquire increased
value, and demand additional gratitude.
Bishop Nant.
kindness, sympathy and encour-
agement shown toward the erring, will
accomplish a thousand times as much
as rigid severity. If instead of harsh
words that almost invariably exert the
influence of crushing. wounding and
destroying the better impulses of the
soul. the hand Of love is extended. the
noble nature in the erring one will be
and the life redeemed.
Lack of money is generally decried
in this country as a miserable excuse
for not marrying. But it is not A
certain amount of capital or income is
almost indispensable. Many a union
has proved disastrous. which, il the
couple had not been very poor. might
have gone on smoothly to the end
Ample means Is great saver Of friction
and preventer OF conjugal woe
Forsn&
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1888-12-28
He Was a Good Judge.

"My friend" said the man who was
lighting cigar. to the proprietor of the
store, that clerk of yours sold ten
cent cigar to the fellow who has just
gone out, and he took it from the same
box from which he sold me this five
center. He must be a poor Judge OF
cigars"
John is all right" replied the pro-
prietor, quietly. He is good Judge.
He never makes a mistake-in Gus
toner. Chicago Tribune.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1888-12-28

The Arkansas Legislature declared
the proper pronunciation Of the name
Of the State to be Ar-kan-saw, accent on
the 6rst syllable
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1888-12-28

Under the State law OF Michigan
20 duelist can cast Q vote.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1888-12-28

Grandad was not free giver, in fact,
rather disposed to miserliness. but he
couldn't refuse few seeds. In burst
Of generosity he added:
.'Tll gin you half pint OBJ fine tun-
nip seed, and I'm gwine ter cut big
watermillion fur you! Jest look at dat
fellar," rolling an enormous melon from
under the water shelf. ..Aint it a whop-
peru
Dandelion's heart gave an exultant
throb, but he thought to himself, ..Ef
'mires dat million, he'll raise de
price" so he said, quietly.
"Yes, it's a fine watermillion. but
lawdy, Grandad. you jest oughter see
de millions we gifts in Centreyille. You
done heerd about 'em, reckon?n in
quiringly.
ME? l don't nebber git no news
from town. 'cept folks passin' by. But
pears ter me / heerd a man say as how
de million crap failed in Centreville."
Dandelion laughed uneasily.
You Jest orter see EN-" he said.
But, Grandad, has you made good
crap dis year?''
Come out and see 'em!n the old man
chuckled.
Dandelion hesitated.
"Well, Hi jest take a look" he said.
Il must be gittin' home, fur dad he's
waitin fur de tunnip seed"
But when they reached the melon
patch, what a sight it was, Dark
green, light green, striped yellow and
mottled melons, and some of them
enormous. Dandelion's very soul burn
ed within him at the sight of these
treasures, but he strove to speak in
differently.
Use seen better, and Use seen wuss,"
he said. But, Grandad, wot fur you
plant all dem watermillions wen you
can't sell one? You can't begin ter
eat EN-"
The old fellow laughed.
Oats jest wot does. sonny. Not
raw, but we biles dem down to sirop,
and / kin tell you watermiilion sirop is
a monst'Ous fine sweetenin'."
Dandelion's spirits sank. Here was a
hitch he had never contemplated. II
use was made of the melons, his chance
Of specializing on them were very
small But he did not despair.
Reckon you got fifty ripe ones?" he
asked. engaged himself in . rapid cal