The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1888-06-23
Horace Greeley's Brother Barnes.

'sThere is only one excuse for man
to get drunk said Barnes Greeley,
and the last of that generation of the
Greeley family. He lives alone on his
farm, five miles from Cory, Pa. The
only time that man is excusable for
getting drunk, and he is a fool if he
don't do it then,'' said Mr.. Greeley, us
when he has a fe!on on his finger. 10
get good and drunk is the quickest way
in the world to cure felon. i have
tried it and know.
'.The only time ever tasted liquor
in my life was when had big felon
on my finger. hadn't slept for three
nights. Some one said that good
drunk would cure me. l came to
Cory, and lost no time in filling up
with the best l could get, first going to
| my daughters house and telling her
what intended to do. loaded my
self in town and then took 4 bottle full
of whisky and went to my daughters.
| / didn't like the whisky, but my pre-
scription called for drunk, and l got
it. For awhile / made things lively at
my daughters house, running things
after the most approved manner OF
confirmed old topers. Then / sank in
to oblivion, and they said it was
| question for a time whether l would
| rise or not. But / did, and the pain
was gone from my felon and it soon
got well. 1t was radical remedy, but
| if I ever get another felon | will 60 Off
on my second drunk, although I'm 70
years old"
Barnes Greeley is one of the most ec-
centric Of men. His farm is one OF the
finest in western Pennsylvania, but he
is content to simply make a living of
of it. He STYLES himself the "Gray-
headed Crank He says that, al
though he is an original prohibitionist,
he believes that too much water,
either taken internally or used extern
ally, is as bad as too much rum. He
attributes his excellent physical and
mental condition at the age Of 76 to his
habitat economy in the use OF water
both as beverage and for lavatory
purposes. One of the old mans weak
nesses is his love for hogs and chick
ems. They roam at will over his
premises, and into his lonely farm
house if they choose. A gentleman of
this city says he was driving past
the Greeley farm house one day last
summer, and saw pair Of big bare
feet sticking out of the open front door.
He got out of his wagon to investigate.
He found that the feet belonged to
Barnes Greeley, and that the rest of
the easy-going old farmers person was
stretched on the barn floor. A news
paper covered his face, presumably to
keep the flies off, and a sonorous snore
made it rattle, indicating that the in
dependent farmer was asleep. Chick
/ ems were pecking about on the floor OF
the room and several contented hogs
grunted and rooted at the threshold.
The gentleman did not disturb the
farmers slumbers, but left him snor
ing, surrounded by his grunting and
pecking pets.
Barnes Greeley says that when
Horace became famous as the editor of
the Tribune he gave Barnes place on
his staff. Barnes went to New York,
but did not stay long.
81 couldn't fill any place | would ac-
cept," he says, ''and wouldn't accept
any place l could fill. So l came back
home. I'd rather be a king among
hogs than a hog among kings"
Barnes Greeley was in his younger
davs a great hunter and fisherman,
and tells many amusing stories OF
Horaces attempts to hunt and fish on
his occasional visits to Crawford
county. He says that if deer had been
run by the drove right in front OF
Horace he couldn't have shot one. and
that he never got as much as bite on
trout stream, while his brother was
pulling them out by the score.