Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-09-19
A DUDES DILEMMA.
He Couldn't Spell Narragansett, So III
Had to Go to Newport.


Had to Go to Newport.
New York Cor. Philadelphia Times.
The st. James Hotel is torn upside
down on account of the many repairs
which Capt. Conner is having made in
that favorite hostelry. The resultant
confusion has removed the typewriter
brass-railinged corner from one of the
Broadway windows back toward the
clerks desk, and temporarily left in
front of it one of the large leyther-cov-
cred settees in which guests of the ho-
tel lounge. | was ensconced recent
afternoon in corner of this snug haven
of rest. My reading was suddenly dis
turbed by the voice of some one adj
dressing the young woman typewriter.
The accent was SO high and SO nearly
effemlnate that turned to see whether
the person was ofmasculine or feminine
gender. found the speaker was dressed
In male attire. I found afterward that
he was a Louisville dude, and one of a
party of eight from Mr.. Watterson's
home, who had registered at the ST.
James. He wished the typewriter to
prepare a letter to a young lady in
Louisville informing her that he would
reach that city at certain time, and re-
questing her to invite Eight ouples" to
theater-boX party which he and a
friend desired to give. sETell her." he
said, in high note to the typewriter
although be pronounced the feminine
pronoun as though spelled "hah "Tell
her that l am preparing-arranging
you know-getting ready-ah, fixing
my luggage in shape to go to Narragan-
sett Pier this evening, and that will be
IN Louisville about Saturday week.
Just fix that idea to suit Yourself"
mo; we don't do that way" said the
pretty young typewriter, with toss of
uer thickly-tressed head. 81 an only
dictate to me | will print on the ma
chine"
s'Well, you know 1 am not bit par
ticular," said the Louisville imbecile;
young lady is not particular, either.
Just fix it up in your own way and it
will be all right"
Evidently the little woman was not
certain of ner own powers, Tor she
said: mo, we don't do business that
way. | don't compose letters. / am
only a typewriter You will have to
dictate to me-" And she looked straight
before her with compressed lips.
Well" gasped the youth from Ken
lucky, with long-drawn breath, "beein
by saying that [ am preparing to go to
Narragansett Pier tonight"
The little, rose-tipped fingers played
over the machine as though it were
piano, and when III a few moments the
''lp-tap" music ceased, the maiden re-
peated, in mechanical way: Il am
preparing to go to-what is the name of
that place ?"
.'Narragansett Pier" replied, in an
absent-minded way. the young man.
who was evidently mentally struggling
with the further erection OF his verbal
structure.
CHOW do you spell Narragansett ?"
asked the public's secretary
The Louisvillian looked at her blank
~ for moment, and then began:
''N-i-a"-tben be hesitated and sud-
denly as his face frightened with an in
spiration, he exclaimed: "No, that's
not right. You spell it your own way
Just plain Narragansett, you know"
L can't spell il" said the Young
woman decisively, as she crossed her
hands on her lap.
well, I'm sure ] can't" replied the
embarrassed correspondent hopelessly.
Neither can |, said the type writer,
indifferently. "What will we do about
it ?''
The maiden appeared as serene as q
June morning The youths brow was
knitted in what to him was thought.
He was evidently sadly perplexed.
Suddenly the creases were smoothed
and his face lighted up as he exclaimed:
''I'll tell you what We'll do, I'll go to
Newport. You can spell Newport, can't
you %
Had l not heard ali this myself
would not believe the narrator Of it.