The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-07-01
BRIGHT BITS.

WHEN asked whence comes our candidate
Our sole reply shall be-
He comes from Indiana
And his famous apceS tree.
Kansas city Star.
RuxAwAY COUPLE to minister-Will you join
Minister Thanks; don't care if l do Wash
fHgton CTtttc.
THE beauty of being able to say mo" so de-
cisively that misunderstanding is impossible is
never more apparent than when man asks you
to loan him quarter.-LtncOtn Journal.
THE Sphinx of Egypt was recently heard to
remark: My sister Columbia has the largest
surplus in the world but I'm the great and only
original deaf | sit, myself. Duluth Para
grGDher.
THERE are girls who never hear big church
bell in the next block, and yet they are able to
detect the tingling of the tiny bells on an ice
cream cart four squares away-NeO Orleans
PiCdyunc.
A LADY writing on kissing says that a kiss on
the forehead denotes reverence for the intellect.
She doesn't say so, but a kiss on the back of the
neck is a proof that the young woman didn't
hold still. -NOITist0tCH Herald
CoNGREssMAN's WIFE (suspciously) Henry,
what does 'scooping the pile mean?
Congressman GnnOcently)- my dear,
can't say It's something I never did in all
my experience. - Washington critic.
HARoLD-I love you, Mabel. VIII you beer
my sister?
Mabel Cabsently)- That can never be- Harold;
but will always be a wife to you. The en-
gagement is announced Han card Ldmpo0n.
SMIrHERs-Miss Parker sings much better
than she used to. Her course at the Conserva-
toire has improved her considerably.
wilkins improved? Well, l should say 80!
She knows when to stop now.-Hdrper'S BdzGr.
McQu1GIEN-S Curt you've got a splendid
arm don't know when | saw one with a bet
to,. 6avnInnnpnt Gymnasium work ?
Curtis-No You see, I've carried a Waterbury
watch for three years and always wound it my
Philadelphia Call.
YOUNG Mr. WABAsH-May I have the pleasure
of acting as your escort to supper, Miss Breezy?
Miss Breezy (Scanning her card)-Oh, thanks
awfnlly; | see Mr.. Porcines name is down for
the first valse in that direction. But you may
have the second, Mr.. Wabash.-Tid- Bits.
"THEN you absolutely refuse to marry me?"
sa d he.
''l do" was the young lady firm reply.
Have n care Miss KajoneS, said the young
man. wita n dangerous glitter in his eye, con
slider the matter well. am the publisher of an
elite directory that is almost ready for the
press "-ChicdJo Tribune,
''THEY did be havin' the divirs own time till
the theayter lasht night" remarked Dennis
Doan at the breakfast table.
''Phwat did they be doin?" inquired Mrs.
Doan
''Phwy, begorra, every tonne wan o. the PEG
pie on tfle SJaSb uu COME lofTeu 10 say some
thing, begorra, the band 'ud sthrike oep, and
You couldn't hear a worrud out NV i'm barrin'
the motion of is mouth. Merchant Traveller
FIRST DANE "a few years hence)-How are you
getting along now dear?
Second Dame-Very nicely. l have secured
the services of person to come in once day,
make the beds, d Ist the bric-a brac aud clean
the silver. For little extra, she also lists The
clothes for the laundry.
"How fortunate you are.
Yes indeed. That leaves me no hing to do
but sweep, cook, wash dishes carry coal and
scrub ~ omaha World.