The Arizona sentinel., 1888-09-15
ABOUT "WIMMEN."
The Captain Is "Beat Out'n All His
 Idees."

Wall, if aint beat out'n all my idees
 about wimmen, then my name ain't
 what it once wuz! hadn't very much
 notion of they're beih' good fer much
 Outside'n the house, and the care CT
 young ones, an fussin' about their
 cloes, an ltterin' with their dekoratin'
 an festOonin' theirselves. I'd seed so
 many on 'em git scart an go off inter
 faintin' spells, jest makin' things wuss
 by their actin so, that I'd cum to
 kinder hate to take wimmen folks
 aboard the ''Swaller" for enny down
 harbor trips that ment more'n two
 hours sail.
 Last week, one CT my reglar custom
 CTS, one CT yer likely, kindly sort CT
 rich men, without enny kinks or twists
 about him, an many's the time he's set
 right down alongside O me an ct a
 good plate CT beans, or helped me git
 away with a bit CT salt junk, when him
 an mes been eff flshin'; he sent me
 word last week he wanted me an the
 -sSwaller" to take a party down to
 Coney Island and the Narrers, mostly ladies, sez he, (which, know, won't
 be pleasin' to you, but they're the
 sensible sort an won't give you no
 trouble" ''All right" thinks I, ''but I'll keep an eye out for squalls"
 So the day cum, and with it the sail in party, six on 'em an only one feller.
 l see l was in fer it. Mr. Ma'ston's wife knew sum, an hadn't never had no cause to complain of, but I hadn't never seed the other wimen an the feller before, an warn't no ways cer- tain; two of 'em didn't look ez if they could be hysteriky without tryin' hard. The feller looked kinder slim an sick ly, an there was two gals, one of 'em the feller's sister, slim like him, an the other little an pooty's a rosebud, but quiet like. Wall, Sam, my helper, wuz to be on hand prompt, but when the folks cum on board 1 hadn't seed hide nor hair uv him, an I was put out considerable, for I hate to hev things hang, waited fer that feller putty nigh an hour, an then I up an wouldn't wait no longer, though it warn't jest what had likin' for, goin' without hand I hadn't no idee CT lookin' to the young feller fer much help, fer Mis- Ma'ston sed he wuz a cousin O hern from the West, an 1 con- kluded he hadn't never seed salt water before an warn ter be counted on. But when was gittin' up sail, he cum along an sez ter me; ''I guess I kin do what you tell me to, cap'n," sez he; "taint my first cruise, an I know the ropes putty we'll" I liked the way he sed it, an the look to his eye, an so l Jest put him to doin' somethin' or uther off an on, an see he done fust rate. The gal, his sister, wuz the biggest talker 1 ever see, but she didn't | bother me with no questions, so I l hadn't no fault to find, speshully's she | kep' 'em all laffin' an good-tempered. | She was takin' off some body or some thin all the time, or gettin' off | speeches that set 'em all to screechin'. l but she never let off smile She an 1 the booty gal seemed awful fond CT | one another, but they didn't show it by | pawin' an sprawlin', ez girls will; but | jest the way they looked at one an- other, an fetched an carried, ez folks will when they think sight uv some body.
 Wall, we hadn't more'n left Coney | ter cum back, when the sky begun ter look darkish an threatenin' Soon the | wind shifted an begun ter blow booty brisk dead ahead. warn't in the best place in the world ter meet a an 1 hated ter have ter tack her, fer it warn't goin' ter allow me time ter git up behind the land afore the bad weather struck, onless I let her hev all the sail she'd got till the last gun fired. Wall, sir, I kep' up the tops'l, an with jib an mainsl she made booty good time, but the sea wuz gittin' greener an foamier, an the wind gut ter shriekin' like all possest. The ''Swaller' picked up one or two booty big gulps CT sea water, an the twowimmen thet I set down from the fust ez the hysteriky kind be- gan to git sick, an one uv 'em fetched a groan, an sed she hadn't no busi- ness to cum. The other one sed she guessed shd'd go below, an the young feller helped her down, an then cum another swash CT water, an the sick one slid down them stairs lively. Mis- Ma'ston seemed !