Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1888-12-21
A NAUGHTY GIRL.
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

FIFTY CENTS is tho hotel boys osti-
mate of n true gentleman. n.-lIerchant
1raucler.
TIE chiropoaist should tako his
aquatic excursions on tow boat
Boston Gazette.
WILL KNOTT is Washington gentle
man who, when he is in hurry, signs
his namo won't"
Ir will DO great day for newspaper
county fairs. -Liuonid Gazette.
"SoME follows" says Carl Pretzcl,
will shpout sharidy und dhen got dhcir
noXt-door nabor 10 brac.ica dot"
IT is said that visitors to tho Sioux
City corn palace look upon tho struc-
turo with a-maizc -PiHsGatrg Chron-
iclc- -Tclcgraph
WOMAN Ito tramp)-How's tho soup?
Tramp-"Taint quito strong enough,
mn'am. L wish you would wash few
more dishes in it.
HUdaINd does not always donoto
affection; for tho mnn who embraces n
lamp'post does it only for support yet
finds no sport in il.
PHiLoSopuER says: "hlodcsty is n
maidon's necklace" o, my o, my!
Then it should bc worn mt full-dress
ball.-Nco Orleans Picdytnc.
WE need each others forbearnpccs rs
well as encouragement in order TO do
our best We do not nll SEQ nike; wo
cannot all work in tho same way.
EXCUSE me, sir" said ri,kpockot
TO nm old gentleman, us ho handed him
back tho Waterbury watch ho had
stolen, II thought il was Wnllhnm."
MI. Gr,tndy.
TnE man with n glass eye has tho
great consolation that ho ia putting on
more style than his ncighbor. lie hasa
stained gtnss window to Ills SOUL
AtchiSon Globe.
In Ecuador it IL understood that tho
employer shall board tho cooks family.
The caso is similar in Americn, only
the employer doesn't understand it,.
brakes Magazine.
Miss CLARA Entertaining n caller)---
Bobby, you mustn't play with Mr..
Fcathorly's hat. Bohby-.Why notf
Miss Clnra-You might iniuro IL; and.
hesidos, ho will want it shortly
Time.
A MAN in Caraon, S. c., has taught
his cat TO play on the piano Hc is still
living, but his ncighbors nre holding
indignation meetings. Should the cat
attempt to play and sing "Rock-n-By"
ut the same timo, blood will now.-
NorriStoOn HcIuM
A CARE MAY paper recently stated
chat q well-ltnown young lady was
present ut hop "ravishingly atiirod in
Psyche knot" Rather cool for such n
costume, ono would think, oven rs far
south rs Cape May, but of course fash.
ion must not be neglected.
A KANSAS Cry Judge has decided
that women can woar trousers in Mis-
souri,. There nro meny households in
all parts of tho country that can testify
that, oven without judicial decision, tho
practice is not uncommon outside OF tho
State of Missouri. .-Bostom Post
Miss GOTHAM Ito Mr.. Wabash re.
Gently returned from abroad)-I SUP.
pose You wcro Mt court whilo i'm Lon.
don, Mr.. Wabash? Mr.. Wabash (un.
ly)-Well-e Miss Gotham:
but only once, and then / got off with n
merely nominal ne.-Harpe,'s Basar.
WHY Uonn, WHAT - tho matter with |
the babyf" sho said, rs slc came hastily |
into tho house. "Hc is crying bitierly.a
"Yes," replied the old man, M he hand.
cd the infant over; "hn is evidently
thinking OF what the Governor of North |
Carolina said TO the Governor Of South
Carolina"
BoBDY-Whcrc aro you going, ma?
Mother--I'm going to a wedding brcnk.
fast, Bobby, and you must bo good |
little boy willie I'm away. Dubby-Did |
you havo wedding breakfast when
You were married, ma? Mothcr-Yos,
dear. Bobby--Is that 50? Why, /
don't remember anything about it.
Sunday Rcpublic
A YOUNG, widow, in erecting monii-
ment 10 the dear departed, clevcrly
nvnils herself Of the opportunity to in
scribe upon the tomb: "Sacred TO tho
memory of Mathuzin Bczuchct, WHO de-
parted this life, aged sixty-cight years.
regretting HE necessity OF parting from
the most charming OF women. San.
Hdncisco )YasD.