The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1888-08-12
CONFIDENTIAL CHAT.

A CERTAIN fort in the far W st, so the
story goes, was in command of major
of artillery WHO was constantly lament
ing thai his favorite arm could not be
more frequently used against the In
dians. Finally one day he took one of
the small b owitz srs, which defended the
iort, and had it securely strapped to the
back of any army mule with the muzzle
projsctlng over the animals tail. With
this novel gun carTia % he proceeded
in high feather with the captain AID d
sergeant TO q bluff on the bank of the
Missouri. near which was encamped q
band OF friendly Indians. The gun was
duly loadsd and primed, the fuse in
serted, and the mule backed to the
edge OF the bluff. The maj or remarked
xone hing about the moral effect the
sxhib lon wss likely to prodace upon
the Indian allies, and stepped gayly
forward and applied the match.
The curiosity of the mule was
aroused. He jerked his head around
to see what was fixing q way there on
his neck, and the next second his feet
we're all punched together and making
t0rty revolutions a minute, while the
gun was threatening everything under
the canopy within the radius OF ten
miles with instant destruction. The
captain Skinned up to the only saliva
ton tree. The sergeant threw himself
dat on the ground, and tried to dig
hole with his bsyone5 to crawl into.
while the fat major rolled over and over
in agony alternately invoking the pro-
lection of Providence, and curslng the
mule. Finally the explosion came, the
ball going through the roof of the fort.
The recoil of the gun and wild leap Of
the terrltied mule carried both over the
bluff to safe anchorage at the bottom
OF the river. The discounted party
rsturned sadly to the fort.
Shortly after, the chief OF the Indians
appeared and announced briefly: "1n-
Jun go home"
Questioned as to why, he thus ex-
planned: I'M Jun YER brave, help while
man. Injun use gun, use bow arrow
use knife; bnt when white man ire off
whole jackass, Injun no understand,
think right. Injun no help I'M fight
shat way"
IN ONE corner of crowded stree.
ear, on Saturday evening, sat young
lady, Of more than ordinary good
looks. Her fellow passengers had
plenty of opportunities to gaze at her
without embarrassing her, for before
the car was oyer the bridge she had
dropped sound asleep. The conductor
evidently knew her, for he made no
attempt to wake her when he came to
her, after collecting the rest of the
fares. She did, Indeed. look very
pretty, her head resting slightly against
the window frame, her lIpe Just parted
and her face com posed peacefully
There was half smile on her face too,
as # her dreams were pleasant. She
had probably beea standing behind
dry goods counter all day long. The
men and women, too. we're careful not
TO even touch the hem of the sleeping
girls dress as they passed out one by
had crosse tle Allegheny parks only
Beading the paper were left in the car.
Just then the conductor entered and
remarked TO the gentleman. 81 shall
have to wake her. She gets off here. "
The conductor laid his hand on the
sleeping girls shoulder, and gave her
the least possible bit of SHAKE, while
with the other hand he rang the bill
for the driver to stop the car. The girl
arose at once bat though she did this
and opened her eyes also, she was
evidently still in dreamland. Her lips
moved and she said almost in q
whisper: There. it's 10 o'clock; did
not you hear the clock strike? Let ma
&C. 1 say-piease let me go, Charlie. "
And then she suddenly stopped, put
her hands 10 her face, and without
word more ran out of the car wide
awake, and FLUSHING Like anything.
Ri you must go to sleep in street car,
be sure to order your dreams discreetly.
The conductor, who told me this story,
ho~eVe', ssys b would not mind being
mistaken for Charlie by the fair
dreamer aqa'n, if she will not cut eff
the sea c. Just at the point where it
becomes interesting.