Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-11-17
RIPPLES OF INCREMENT.

LovE-MAKING is one of the arts in
which experience is not essential to
ess.-Merchdnt Trareler.
He whose schooner passes too often
over bar will find himself making the
voyage of life on sea of troubles
Ocean.
"IT's a cold day when I get left" said
the summer straw hat, as it cuddled up
snugly in the dust on top of the ward
robe.-Puck.
GONE and have a quiet game of ten
mis-" said johnson. Can't" replied
Thompson, never could play tennis
without racket. "-BOStOn BulietiM
WHAT is their great loss is my im-
mediate gain" said the minister softly
to himself. as he blithely pocketed the
customary marriage fee.-SOmerUiIle
journal.
Mrs. REDMUD (of New Jersey)-Did
young Mr.. Gotham propose to you last
night, Lulu? Miss Lulu Cshyly)-Not
quite, nav, but he kissed me several
times.-Epoch.
THE man who said that marriage re-
sembles q lottery labored under mis-
understanding. When Won patronize a
lottery you have some show of coming
out ahead. journal.
PHILADELPHIA dame (at tablel--Mv
gracious! You are splitting that gravy
on the carpet. New waitress (ch
fully - There's plinty more in the
kitchen, mum.-PhjiadeIphia record
Ir is said that when girl gels to be
30 she is fond of being called Daisy, if
that happens to be her first name. At
IL she insists on being called Miss
Standardization (KG1D GiOJp.
a DOMESTIC paper has a m)urlful
trade about woman's waste. Do not
repine, dear friend, do not rep;ne.
The Young American is taking the
womans waist in han l.-LOccH Cii-
zen.
NISSAN FAIRLY, I guess the hahy's
swallered some rat pi1en, an ma
thought maybe you'd know wot was
good fur it" "W'y, chile yo' mus glib
it anecdote right away !"-Huper's
Bdgdr.
WHEN an American autocrat gets
angry at man he says: Il will put a
head on you" When the Sultan of
Turkey gets angry at a man he says: 81
will take a head, of you. "-BuriiHgtOn
Free Press.
MY wife has invented new style
of pastry, stuffed with chastnuts and
dates; and what do you suppose she
calls it ?" "Oh, pate de dyspepia, prob
o1lX- - HNo oil ,Nin y n,
Teld onion.
A COMPOUND has been discovered that
will sober up a drunken man in ten
minutes. The question arises, will the
man who has spent Il weeks wages to
get drunk, care to lose his load so sud
denly?-Errhdnge.
as THERE any way to make new fur
niture look as though it had been made
n century ago." asks a correspondent
There is. A houseful of children will
DO it ninety-nine times ont OF one hun
drcd.-BuriingtOn Free Pe55.
Two DANCERS, who had been attempt
ing waltz at ball, stopped a moment
during a pause in the muse. 80 you
are fond of waltzing?" asked the lady,
Il adore it." responded her cavalier
az hen hadn't you better try and learn
SOMEBODY has written paper or
How to Tell a Woman's Age 1t is
bad information. How 10 know WON
ans age would BE- useful knowledge,
but the man who undertakes to tell il
is simply a brute. -Netr orleans Plea
yltIie
Mrs J.-My new piano reminds me
OF Il successful busino ss-man. Mr.. j.
Why? Mrs. 10, we'll, it's always
square. And then its notes never &C
TO protest. MI J.-No; but the neigh
Eors are going to.-TcITe Udltte E.c
press.
A FARMER came into Yves ern hard
ware store the other day and inquired
for kingsleys "WCstward Ho." He
said that he had heard 50 much about
it that he thought he would Just try il
on the farm and sec how it WORKED
Boston Post
No, BELLA sud Miss After
thoughts ml'e parent, with dee ,s;ve
bang of the pilno Ii you shall not
sing the Lullaby or any other song from
El1nln.e IlllS evening. 'il, 90 lei
her. pleaded Mrs. Afterthought, Il dc
so love a popular ma'ady. "-Ncu
Udrcl1 NeuS.
ORGANIsT-As your party marches
down the aisle l will play some impress
sive march. Prospective bridegroom
That's good; but be particular abou,
the key. Organist-Oh, certainly Y. ]
invariably play wedding marches in L
fiat. Two flats seem so appropriate. -
Boston RcpublicdR.
PATERFAMILIAs- yOu lie in the
neighborhool OF the gas Office this
morning? SOn-1cs, SIR. "Then J
need not go round there. Just drop in,
tell them wa have returned from the
country, would like to have the gas
turued on, and get BIZ of the Gmoun'
consumed while it was turned Off
PhiiddcPhid record.
OCCASIONALLY Bmlette condcscend.
to each lesson in his fun. There i,
y condensed business college course in
the following: Young man," said til.
dominic solemnly, don't YOU know
that the Sabbath day is Il day of rest .
YES, I know" said youn% Slvedge.
but sincc'tha old mln stopped adver,
tis.ng | rest al the week, and I've Gel
TO exercise when / get a chance"
How They Dressed Him.