davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1888-11-08
HUMOROUS.

81 think my profession" said a
violinist, sis by far preferable to any
other, it is the easiest of ALL" "How
sop because | work when l play,
and play when l work."
AT drill a soldier splits in the
ranks Sergeant of Maneuvers lin
dignantly)-"The fellow that spat,
four days in the guard-house. There
shall be no splitting in the ranks. We
are not in parlor here!' Fliegende
Batter
Professor OF class In journalism
what is the difference between an
editorial and an editorial paragraph
Student-"An editorial is of the same
nature as an editorial paragraph,
but is larger and doesn't have as much
to wallpapers Bazaar.
Young lady-"Have you position
vacant in your store for "a" Old
merchant with hardening features)-
For a" Young lady (modestly)-
"For saleswoman, sirp" Old mer-
chant (warmly)-'I have, miss. You
shall have one of the best in the store"
Chicago Tribune,
Miss Augusta Mayne Ito Pat
Chogue, who has just rendered her his
seat" You have my sincere thanks,
sir!" Pat Chogue-" Not at all, mum
not at all. It's duty we owe to the
sect. Some folks only does it phen a
lass be pretty; but I says, says Il the
sect, Pat says l; mot the indivi-
doolp Puck.
He lin a storey" I'm looking for
something in the shape of a diary
something in which | can record my
daily thoughts and ideas upon current
events" She (new clerk, and eager
to PLEASED" Oh, yes; you won't want
any thing very large, then. Here's
something, three days to page;
thirty-three cents, please, thanks. "
Yankee Blade.
Ambitious young musician (ef-
fusively) IL had the thoughts and
inspirations of the old masters in me
when l composed that, professor
Professor (sarcastically)-"So you
had. Mr.. Kribber. Your composition
contains little of Mozart, Beethoven,
Haydn, Handel, Bach and score Of
other famous composers. By the way,
what part of it is yoursw-Judge.
-Tourist-"My physician has adj
vised me to locate where may get the
south wind; does it ever blow here?''
Native" Well, l may say as you're
lucky to have come to this place; the
south wind always blows here. =
Tourist" Always? But it seems to b
blowing from the north now" Native
l-"Oh, it may be coming from thai
direction-now. but it's the south wind
it's coming back you know: "-BiHy
anpt0H N ~ Republican.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1888-11-08
DANGER IN WELLS.
Reasons Against the Healthfulness of So.
Called Artesian Water

Called Artesian Water
"a great hue and cry has been raised
against ordinary wells Of late years."
said an expert on drinking water re-
Gently, and there has been decided
increase in the popularity OF artesian
and driven wells. Because the water
obtained from the shallow, old-fash-
Toned well is often impure, people
seem to have made up their minds that
water drawn up from deep down in the
earth will be free from impurities.
But any such idea is the merest nom
sense. The sources of the impurities
Of ordinary well-water we know be-
cause they are on or near the surface
OF the adjacent land. FROM just what
sources deep-driveh well obtains Its
supply of water we can not tell. Nuis-
ances on the surface may be abated or
50 drained away from the well as to
fairly protect the water from contami-
nation. In the case Of wells sunk hun
dreds of feet into the earth we can not
even determine from what directions
or from what distances their supply
comes. Therefore, of course, we can
not even attempt to prevent contami-
nation of the unknown sources and can
do nothing whatever to eliminate the
element Of mineral poisons drawn from
the lower strata. The idea that a
piped well must be proof against
drainage is clearly untenable, as the
pipe itself and the surrounding wall
of earth and rock form an
excellent conduit in which all
impurities may flow down to the bot
tom of the well-pipe. Driven and
artesian wells have still another bad
feature, and that is the utter uncer-
tainty as to the continuance of their
supply. After thousands OF dollars
have been expended IN sinking deep
well, the supply may only continue for
a brief period and then suddenly cease.
In that case the we'll is useless and the
money spent in its construction thrown
away. Water obtained from great
depths is usually impregnated with
salts of minerals to more or less
dangerous extent. 1t is rarely fit for
industrial uses and the quality of the
supply generally grows worse rather
than better when the pumps are
worked to draw up the maximum sup
ply. Attempts to work well for all
there Is in 1t naturally drains all the
heighboring underground sources, and
the moisture of surface nuisances in the
vicinity of a we'll thus forced is usually
soon absorbed. Despite all these OBJ
jections to deep wells many large cities
have invested. and are investing,
millions of dollars in boring into the
earth on the mere chance of striking g
supply of good water, Unscrupulous
agents for divers artesian and driven
well concerns succeed in lobbying theil
schemes through the local govern
ments, the local treasury usually has {
heavy bill to foot and generally, has
its trouble for its pains. Although tC
rush from the time-honored, ole
fashioned well to the artesian, driver
or gang well Is often like the proverb
ial leap from the frying-pan into thu
fire. IN y Mail and Express.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1888-11-08
WOMAN'S DEPARTMENT.
A LIMIT TO USEFULNESS.

"'What can a helpless female dor
Rock the cradle, and bake and brew.
Or, II no cfadle your fate Afford
Rock your brothers wite's for your board:
Or live in one room with an invalid cousin,
Or sew shop shirts for dollar a dozen,
Or please some man by looking sweet
Or please him by giving him things to eat
Or please him by asking much advice,
And thinking whatever he does is nice.
Visit the poor under supervisionl
Doctor the sick who can't pay physician;
Save mems time by doing their praying,
AMI other odd Jobs there's no present pay in.
But II you presume to usurp empoyments
Reserved by them for their special enjoy
ments,
Or II you sue eed when they knew you wouldn't
Or earn money fast when they said you couldn't,
Or learn to do things they'd proved were above
you.
You'll hurt their feelings, and then they won't
love YOU"
--Joaymat Of Romans Work.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1888-11-08
VOL. IV.-NO. As.
TWO LIVES

Nc worked together side l,y side,
we planned our future glory so,
~, m Love called her, and, deeply tried.
Inc woman babe the artist 20.
strive alone and, lonely, find
mat toll which once was pleasure sweet;
iet choose the path, with steadfast mind.
marked out before my willing feet.
Aciamber up the heights alone,
now Tar they stretch what eye may sect
men Follow where my steps have gone:
ASs, men are glad to follow me.
AND she gave all her hope for this;
one little hearthfire bright to keep
But for her goodman's nightly kiss,
her baby to sing soft TO sleep.
And lam great; and she-is blest;
Lille can not give II all to one:
NO her, the quiet ways OF rest;
TO me, the praise for deeds well done.
MY woman's heart at times would give
For what she has all else beside.
Her ardent soul, how can 1t live
Thus trammeled and be satisfied
with children grouped around her knee;
lie surrendered to my art
AL thai for her, all this for me-
10 which has come the better part,
Ruth Hall, in Good Housekeeping.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1888-11-08
Farewell Tour Costumes.

"These dresses" explained the
prima donna, :" are for my farewell
tour in America.
Certainly, madam" said Mr..
Worth, "these are exceptionally dur
able fabrics. have them made espe-
cially for farewell tours, and | guar
antee to make them over for at least
three successive seasons so the Ameri-
cans will never recognize them. "
Chicago Tribune.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1888-11-08
Chicken for Dinner.

Visitor Ito convicD-Why, what
brought you here, Uncle Rastusp
Uncle Rastus-'Cessive hospitality,
sab.
Visitor-Excessive hospitality
Uncle Rastus-Yes, sab. Yr see, sab,
l invited the minister to Sunday
dinner. an when l got home last Sat-
urday night de ole CONAN 'fo'med me
dat dar warn't a chicken in de house
an de sto's was all clos'd. M Y. San.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1888-11-08
SAVANNAH TENNESSEE, THURSDAY NOVEMBER s. 1888.

ner, and made my escape. 1t was
some time before ] could cut switch
or fshing-rod without feeling that l
was doing some sort OF violence to the
vegetable kingdom. = YOUTHS Gompdn-
sA., 500
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1888-11-08

The Chinese word for "hash" is
the longest and most difficult word to
pronounce in the language. In the
English language it is the most difficult
word to define. Albany Journal.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1888-11-08

Colonel A. L. Rives. the father of
the young Virginia authoress, is civil
engineer now employed on the Pam
ANA Ship canal
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1888-11-08

The man who can pack trunk
ought 70 marry woman who can
sharpen lead pencil. Fall Rirer i'd
raHce.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1888-11-08

Mrs. Ada Langworthy Collier
ventured upon her first novel at the
age Of twelve.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1888-05-18
Police Points.

The hat which Officer Ihrig arrested
last Saturday night is still in limbo
The police have taken up bay col
two years old, which the owner will fine
in the city pound
Thomas David, hailing from Kansas,
was fined So and costs this morning for
intoxication. and bounced.
David Russell who kicked up the com
motion on First avenue yesterday after,
noon. was fined So and costs by Magistrate
Bennett this morning,
IL is rumortd that the mayor Is tC
bring. 1.-the guillotine into play in the po'
lice force between this and the next meet
ing of the city council. The city would
not miss the services of some of The pres.
ent force.
A burglar visited the residence of Mrs.
L. G. fireman, SAT Nineteenth street last
night. The house was occupied by Mrs.
fireman, her daughter, Miss Gussie. and
son John. At about 3 o'clock John
awoke and discovered man in his room.
He was ransacking his pants. John
waited until the intruder had completed
his search and departed and then alarmed
the rest of the family, but it was found
that the unlimited guest had been re-
warded only by a pocket knife forshis
trouble. He entered the house by elm b.
ing up on the porch and getting into Mr..
Treman's room through a window.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1888-05-18

Don't hawk, hawk, blow, spit and dis
gust everybody with your offensive
breath, but use DR.. Sage's Catarrh Rem
edy and end it.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1888-05-18

A representative of the ARGUS drop
ping in at Mays store was attracted by
some very choice new goods that had not
met his eye before, and upon inquiry he
learned that they had just been received.
Mr. L. May, manager of the store, was
in Chicago the first of the week for the
purpose of getting the latest delicacies in
the market and succeeded in obtaining
many new and nice goods never before
seen in this market, among which are
Bouillion maggi liquid extract of beet,
picked oysters, clans and Holsters, green
olives in bulk, Neufchatel and English
dairy cheese, and many other delicacies
too numerous to mention.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1888-05-18
A GENEROUS IDEA.
The Franklin Hose company Makes
n FAIR Proposition in the Interest
OF Charity. which Is Rejected.

n Fair Proposition In the Interest
OF Charity. which IL Rejected.
1t is customary, and properly so, too
for the city council to make an annual
appropriation to defray the expenses OF
supper or other entertainment the ROCK
Island volunteer firemen may see tit to
indulge in, in connection with the de-
partment's annual parade and review
This year the Franklins of the
First ward, has suggested the idea
of dispensing with the after festivi-
ties of the parade and devoting the
funds placed in the hands of the depart
ment to the sufferers from the present
overflow of the Mississippi and those
who contributed their services voluntarily
and gratuitously in strengthening the
city's Notifications against the rising
waters and protecting large part of the
poor people of the city from being rem
dered homeless.
The matter was laid before ChieS Ba>
ker, but he did not look upon it with IA
vor. The department expects Il number
of visiting firemen TO be present on the
day of the review. and those having the
preparations in charge are of the opinion
that they could not treat their guests IN
the same hospitable manner that they are
treated when they go abroad, If the an
nual supper is dispensed with. The
Franklins' finding that their proposition
was not popular with the chief, then pc,
titioned that they be allowed their pros
portion of the 5000 to spend as they
thought best, to-wit, for the suffering
people residing in the slough. This, too,
was denied them, as the department had
expenses of the parade day supper. $3.50
being the amount asked for, whereas the
council had allowed but 5000 The
Franklins will therefore have nothing to
do with the supper. They will bring out
their finely equipped apparatus and par
ticipate in the review and parade, but
that cempany's festivities will end there.
The Franklins idea is a laudable one,
and they are entitled to great praise for
the generosity of their impulses Denial
of self for the good and protection of
others who are needy and deserving, is
one of the characteristics of Il good fire.
man.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1888-05-18

terday afternoon and was sentenced Il
one year in the peni,entiary. Sheriff
Silvs and Turnkey Porter left for Jolie
this morning with Anderson ,Amberg and
Bogge.
Last evening at the residence of the
brides home, Sixteenth street and Third
avenue. occurred the marriage of Miss
Ruth Robertson to Mr.. John G. Joint,
an employe of the c., b. & O., Rev. II .
G, Leland officiating. The couple went
east on their wedding trip last night.
j A. Genung, the popular west end
grocer, corner of Eighth street and Third
avenue, has an advertisement in another
part of the ARGUS, in which he quotes
prices on some of his staples. People in
the lower end would do well to trade
with Mr. Genung, as his prices are right.
The Ladies Home Mission society of
the First NJ. e. church had pleasant
observance of its fifth anniversary at the
home of Mrs c. L. Walker last evening.
An interesting programme WAS presented
and nice refreshments served. Each
guest was presented with handsome
souvenir of the event.
Frank Wheaton. of Beaver Falls, Pa,
was visiting his parents, brothers sisters,
and many friends here last week Frank
has not changed at all. He is the same
lad he was then, except that he has gene
out of the pill business and into the man.
ufacture of shovels with his wife's father.
He is prosperous and happy.-Geneseo
NeUs
The annual spring meeting of the Free
port Driving Park association occurs next
month, and already the racers are begin
ming to arrive on the track. J. l. Cases
string of eleven trotters arrived yesterday
including the famous Jay, Eye See. who
is expected to trot against time. Ed.
Bithers, the noted driver, has charge of
the animal.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1888-05-18
THE WATER CHESTNUT.
nc is sun with us and Getting Kaih-
err stale, but Going Down


The water-worn subject, the river i.
gradually declining and the water>worn
people of Rock Island are viewing its de-
parture without feelings of regret. Las
night the guage at the bridge registered
1876, decline of onetwentieth of foot
since noon and tenth lower than the
high water mark. At noon today it had
gone down another twentieth and was
1916.
In the flooded districts the decline ap
pears to have been more than the official
record shows, yet there is not much dan
ger Of water famine yet. The fighting
of the overflow goes on and there is no
apparent danger at present of the "old
father of rivers" stealing a march upon
the people of Rock Island any further
than he has succeeded already.
The lower factories are getting in shape
to resume operations as soon as possible
and the glass works hope to begin to-
morrow morning.
The people residing in the slough at
tribute their escape from total inundation
to the work of Messrs VIM. Roth and
Chris. Schrneiner and their volunteer
helpers, but for whose exertions they be-
lieve their homes would have been swept
away.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1888-05-18

The organization of the board anG
general committee of home missions o.
the United Presbyterian churches o
North America has been perfected fol
the Davenport session by the election o.
Rev. DR.. Marion Morrison of Mission
Creek, Neb. as president and Rev. J B
Jackson, of Elderton, Penn, as secre-
tary. The board went to work yesterday
on appointments of the mission fund,
work in which they wiifbe engaged the
next five days. They awarded Geneseo
300, Lyons $500, Ness City $500, VAL
ley Center social in the Arkansas Val
ley presbytery; Cove, in Big Springs
presbytery, $3.50; Kittaning, in Butler
presbytery, $780, Lyndon, in Caledonia
presbytery, $3.50; Savanna, in Chicago
presbytery. $500; Poland, In Cleveland
presbytery, $500.
The Davenport Democrat, Gazette
speaks of the board as IAN exceptionally
fine looking body of men. One rarely
sees so many tall. well formed frames,
crowned with heads noble in intellectual
ity, as are gathered in this convention.
Nearly every minister is tall, and the
great majority average height of six
feet. 1t is a convent on that is worth
looking upon" A number of the visit
ing ministers are the guests of members
of the U. P. church of Rock Island. and
many of the pulpits of the city will be
occupied by them Sunday.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1888-05-18
BEAUTIFUL BOVINES.
A Handsome Herd of POlangish
Cattle.
An Imported Breed ana something
About Its Record---V Valuable Ac-
QUESTION 10 Mr. cables Texas
Ranch.

One of the prettiest herds OF cattle
that has ever been brought to this couu'
try may be seen daily grazing in the I'M
occupied enclosure opposite the Cable
premises and Immediately west of Mr.
John Reimers residence on Moline ave
nue., The uniformity in standard and
color of the stock at once attracts the
eye, and closer investigation reveals the
fact that the cattle are all entirely horn.
less. The herd is foreign one, owned
and imported by Mr.. Ben I. Gable, and
was brought this far on its journey Ia
that gentleman's extensive Texas ranch
From Mr.. w. Reed, who has charge OF
the herd, and who accompanied it from
Scotland, an ARGUS reporter was this
morning enabled to derive some INTEREST,"
ing information concerning this
comparatively rare species of the
known to the stock world as the
Poldangish or AberdeeIshire stock.
They are with rare exception spotless
black, larger in size than the famous Jer-
sey and invariably hoInless. They were
first bred exclusively in Scotland and the
breed soon gained great reputation
through Europe for rich beef producing
qualities. At the great London Christi
mas fat stock shows IA high premium has
for years been sure to go to the Poldan-
gish stock. and at the Paris expos.
ition of So, the stock received the dis.
unclion of carrying off the first premium
in the class of choice fat stock
Mr.. Cables herd comprises twenty five
yearling heilers, one of which has calf.
They were shipped from Scotland, No
were held in quarantine there ninety days
before they came on to Rock Island.
Mr.. Gable has leased desirable piece of
pasture land within fourteen miles of the
city, where the cattle will be kept until
October, when they will be shipped to
his Texas ranch. They are from the
ranch of Mr., Geo. Reed. of Aberdeen
shire, Scotland, whose son accompanied
them from the British Isles. and who will
have charge of Mr.. Cables ranch. 1t
was Mr.. Reeds stock that took the prize
at the Paris exhibition and many of the
heifers in this herd are direct descendants
from that very stock The average
weight of the cattle is from LOO to 1000
pounds, and yearlings such as these bring
in Scotland not less than $3.50, while
cattle of the same breed have been known
to command as high as $500 and even
$4,000
Mr.. Cable intends to engage largely |
and exclusively in the breeding and rails |
ng of this species of stock in America. |
He already has, in addition to the herd in |
his city, fourteen bulls and thirty beifers
IN his Texas ranch. One of the best |
eatnres of the breed is that they require
title care. They seem to grow tat nat
lrally and with little feed. They eat
Inything and grow fat on it. They are
,reat rustlers, so to speak, and once
urned loose they will take care of thcm-
elves and find abundance to satisfy
hem. Inside of five years Mr.. Cable
will have on-his Texas ranch one of the
argest herds OF choice cattle in the
world.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1888-05-18
THE DEMANDS OF THE HOUR
The Imperative Duty OF the city rs
soon as the High Water Disappears
---CIean mp the Town.

/
---CIeRn mp the Town.
| II there are two funds which should bt
more literally dealt with than the other;
in making the annual appropriations al
next Monday nights council meeting,
those two are the health and street funds.
The reasons are that there will in all
probability arise demands for unusual
and extra expenditure of money this year
as the outgrowth of the high water siege
the city is at present passing through.
The streets and lots in the flooded dis
tricts will be left in deplorable condi-
ton. and this will not only require a
work of repair, but the strictest pre-
cautionary steps Malaria, typhoid fever
and even cholera may follow in the wake
of the present flood, especially in those
parts of the city whore sewerage water
has backed up and where outhouses have
been washed away. The city can afford
to lose no time in the matter Of cleaning
up as fast as the water recedes
Inc alleys, as IS usually the case IN the
spring, were in bad condition before
the flood came on. aud there is an i'm
mense amount of garbage scattered all
over town. which the delay in making
appropriations for the GARBAGE wagon
has occasioned.
1t is imperativeiy necessary therefore
that the council give these appropria>
tons the consideration that the sanitary
welfare of the city demands they should
give. The city has had one lesson this
spring through the delay of its executive
in taking precautionary steps; let the
council step in now and take time by the
foreock and prevent an aillict ion which
would he worse thousand fold than
that oceasioned by the high water
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1888-05-18
.aver,I.ed List or Letters. mol

The peculiar purifying and building up
powers of Hoods Ssrsspsrilla make it
the very best medicine to take at this
season.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1888-05-18

Those motors on the Union lineA re
getting to be dangerous institutions
Yesterday one of them struck the rear
end of Mr.. Conrad Schneider's wagon as
he was driving across the tracks on
TwentY-eighth street. Aside from the
fact that the accident damaged Mr..
Schneider's wagon considerably, it en-
dangered his life. The city council
would do an act which would be general
ly approved, il it would stop those mo-
tors coming into town altogether.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1888-05-18

r. F. Hamilton, advance press agent
of the Barnum and Bailey allied shows,
was in the city yesterday and completed
arrangements for the appearance of the
grand caravan, which is to appear in
Rock Island, Thursday, June z. Mr..
Hamilton is an old newspaper man, a
member of the New York Press club and
understands his business To saoughly He
promises better show toAn the "Great
and Only" has ever brought out before.
Everything is new. and many features
heretofore unknown to tented consolida-
tons are introduced.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1888-05-18

Every loan eashed by us and papers complete
before offered to investor.