Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1888-11-09
JESTS OF THE PRESS.

"PApA, I Wis 90 would tiss me Wit IA
muftache cup; 90 muftache tickle SEA
Bazaar.
PLEASE, want to buy shilimgs
worth of hay" rs it for your father
ooh, no, it's for the horse"
THERE is no affiliation between tls
cross old maid and the small boy wssSa -
top, and yet both are spinsters-
One curious thing about the sea-sHr-
pent is that it is always some other mzza,
that sees it.-Harper's BazaY.
One of the main questions Of the age
in regard to some men is not what they
live on, but why they live on.
A BARTENDER is one Of the best-na-
tured of men. He is at all times pae
pared to answer you with a smile
The ability to mind ones own bass-
ness is the rarest of modern accomplish
ments and is never met with in polite
society.
The conservatism of the Italians ans
refusing to adopt gas in lieu of Candles
is perhaps a delicate token of respect
for their neighbor Greece.
WHEN Buffalo and Cleveland found
out that Detroit had passed them 40
population they were scared outof theIx
census, -Dety0it Free Press
YOUNG Noble ones-Good morninR.
Miss De Stael Selecting diam0astasse
O, do let me assist you. assure youa 4
am perfect epicure in diamonds
Ha,.pey's Bazaar.
We fear that the philosopher w1.o ss.ai2
that the ladies who wear unusually
rich gowns keep their husbands s1sa-
usually poor gave voice to great truth
-Harper's Bazar.
"AND how do you stand on the tarza,
Mr.. Cornbrake?" asked the schoelmss
ter; ARE you a protectionist? Il rse-
piled the chiropodist, "no; Tn u fest
raider" (Dies).-Bardette.
A NEW YORK actress is credited with
making hits which bring tears to ths
eyes Of her spectators. Andyet nobody
thinks Of arresting her for assault ana
battery.-Bostoae transcript.
| Doctor Ito patient)-Have you sanyy
objection to my calling in q consulting
physician? Patient-Call in as man.
accomplices as You need to complete thsa-
assassination. ,siftings.
In Mexico young ladies give q few
drops of their blood as charm to TAG
young men. In this country men prefer.
to "bleed" the old man and taste tlse
girls breath and sample her cemplexiNa-
"DocToR, I have come to see yofa
about my little boy" What ails him %
"One leg is shorter than the other and
he linlps. Now what would you do in
such case" Il think 1 should limp
too"
JAGLEY-Does she remind you of any
thing biblical? Wagley-Yes, indeed
Consider the lily and the rose; for
even the town in all it's ver1nillion WAS
not painted like unto these-eheeks. -
Judge.
Mrs. SpANDELL (of Boston>-What 81
charming little doggy! Is he mastica-
torially inclined? Her Fishman-Not as
knows on, marm; but 1 wouldn't gu
near him. He bites wunst in While
Judge.
On the road to London and Oxford lis
famous old tavern called the Brit liz
the Bush" But coaching parties never
stop there. They think q four-in-hand
preferable. Chronicle
Telegraph.
A SOLEMN old scientist printed the
fact that by bathing the feet in tepita
water man could double his eircula-
ton, and now all the editors Of oaz
daily journals are having tanks fitted to
their heating apparatus.
FIRST YoUrH-By jinks, Harry,
what's the matter? Did Clara vsre ds
We're refuse you? Second Youth (sa4llsg
No, she accepted me. Then what
in creation are you looking so htut
about?" Il spent so much none.
counting her that / haven't enough h
buy an engagement ring. --Fhifatef
l,itia Record.
"MR. JONES'" said the managing e.l
itor to one of his reporters, did you at
! tend the spiritual seance at Lih,arx
Hall this EVENING"" II did replied
the reporter. Il hope you have tres.seSl
the medium fairly Mr., Jones. Yss
know good many spiritualists re:.tf ess,
paper. How have you written it Hp'
Fair to medium" replied the reporter
-~Terds Sitti1lgs.
AUGUSTUS DE CARLlLE-Ah, COOK
evening, Miss Emma, is your sister
ah-she's singing in the pa1lor. Hc~
delightfully."- she renders that beaasifa
little moroccan of Pinsuti's wanssss
what key she is singing in? Emsaa-
What key? Oh, [ know-slle's expect
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