davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-08-30
THE WRONG MAN,

A countryman, who was in waiting at
the Third street depot the other day,
took stroll around the square. When
he returned he said to the policeman at
the door:
Say, met Teller here who says he
knew me twenty hears ago, and that he
has been waiting for ten years to lick
me.
Well, keep away from him,
But he is mistaken. | never knew
him.
Let him go. What is it to your
Why. don't want man to be mis-.
taken. don't want man to he aching
to lick me when am not the tight
man.
He was advised to sit down aud wait
for his train, but pretty soon the officer
saw crowd up the street, and FASTENED
to the spot to find man lying on his
back on the walk evidently unconscious,
while the cOuntrymau was on hand to
explain
You see, told him he was mistaken,
but he insisted, and when he took me by
the goatee, what could l do? Dear me,
how it does embarrass me to enter a
strange town and knock strange man
head over heels. Some one pour water
on him and blow in his ear Washing
ton Hatchnt.
The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-08-30

SALVATION'S FREE (BUT NOT WOOL
Dere's good time comm, it's now mos here,
IT'S been TO- years on de wa
An soon yo'll hear 'em shout wifjoy
Dat Harrison's come to sta,
So pick up dc pieces an glue EN- strong,
An wifi bofe hans take hor,
An wen they count de votes deyll find
Dey's lcf' out in de col.
CHORUS. -Dey shoot us If we try to vote,
An wifi dere mouf do blow,
But it makes us laff to hear ZEN
chaff
OF tings dat da dom know,
Wen keep up de honor OBJ de flag,
De flag dat set us free;
70 count on us jes' cherry time,
Jes' look an yo' will see
Yves goin' to put dat Harrison in,
OBJ dat yo' may be sho'
An wen we fin him in he seat
We jes' shut up de do.
CHoRUs,-
Dey try to fool us wifi free wool,
Good Lord, We pays enuff,
But II desc tings do come to pass,
Fo' us it will be tuf
Fo' now we wears the cas- oil clos
Dat oders to us will give,
But If de law do make dis change,
Deyll hab to sabe to lib.
CHORUsi-
DeyTl ilrt de ole bandana now,
An make an orful noise;
Dey shoot dere mouf of all de time.."
An make belebe rejoice,
But dey all know dat dan get beat,
Dat tings mus not be free,
An WV da shake an shibber so,
It's dat dat we can't see.
CHoRUs:-
The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-08-30
FOOD PRESERVED IN CANS.

American canned fruits, some how OF
other, are cheaper than imported
canned fruits of the same kind and arc
just as good in quality. This discovery
OF keeping foods which is due to 3
French Chemist in 1907, really prolongs
the vegetable and fruit seasons through,
out the whole year and gives distant
chimes an exchange of foods. Euro.
peans can compete with Americans in
this industry only in the canning oil
delicacies. The canning process is now
used in preserving about all the desir.
able animal and vegetable foods. One
singular fact is that the canned foods
are in some cases cheaper than when
bought fresh in the market; the reason
being that the canning is done where the
foods are the cheapest and that there
are no wastes.
The first canning was done for meat
for sailors but the industry was of little
account until tomatoes and oysters were
canned in this country for local trade
about 1885. The business expanded in
the California gold excitement and grew
to immense proportions during the civil
war; at this time milk was canned and
so were meat fruits and vegetables. AT
ter the war lobster and salmon were
canned and still later the canning of
corned beef grew to immense proper
tons, largely to supply foreign govern
ments with a supply of reserve food to
be used in case of war. 1t is nothing
but newspaper sentimentalism that has
led people into believing that canned
foods. are dangerous to health. The
tin plate is not acted upon by any or
binary acids or gases ofdecomposition.
The only poisoning that has been caused
by these foods is due to the ignorance
of the consumer; they open a can, let
the contents begin the process of fer
mentation or putrefaction, by which
the ptoneaine poisons are developed
and these are of deadly character. These
foods are perfectly safe in the hands of
a person of ordinary care and intel
ligence.-[Good Housekeeping.
The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-08-30
The Providence journal tells the 70

The Providence journal tells the fol.
lowing "a German who hadn't been
to church in fifteen years attended
Episcopal service Sunday. When the
plate was passed he put on a quarter and
asked the vestryman for twenty cents in
change. He did not get it; for
the man with the plate didn't hear
his request. The lady who was with
the German dropped ten cents on the
plate. when her escort, still perssting
that five cents was the contribution ex-
pected from each person, whispered that
that was too much reached for the plate,
and Selling nickel, handed it TO the
lady, conscious shat he had saved five
cents for her il he himself was twenty
cents behind the game"
The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-08-30
a HARRISON AND MORTON FLAG
FLOATING IN THE UPPER AIR
OF COLORADO.

Probably no other political insignia
floats from such an eminence as does a
Harrison and Morton flag which, Aug.
22d, was placed on top of Currecanti
Needle. The Needle is one of the OBJ
jects of interest visited by tourists in
Colorado. 1t stands in the heart of
Black canon, on the Gunnison, rising
abruptly for nearly 1000 feet. At its
base the GunnisOn river rushes, while
opposite the Denver and Rio Grande
railroad pursues its winding course
toward the Pacific coast.
The idea of placing a flag on such an
eminence was projected by Mrs. A. G.
Fay of Currecanti. She coniided her
plan to a gang of section men, one OF
whom an English sailor, offered to I'M
dertake the hazardous ascent. The first
time he failed, falling nearly so feet, but
fortunately alighting in the Gunnison
river saved his life, but losing the flag
Procuring a second one, he tried again,
and after two hours of hard labor
reached the summit ofthe Needle. Here
the flag was placed. The Needle is one
of the highest mountain projections in
Colorado, and at one place rises almost
perpendicularly for 40 feet. The Eng.
lishman surmOunted this place by haul
ing himself by main force over the
notches in the mountain. The feat is
regarded as most wonderful.
The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-08-30
GENERAL GRANT AsALAUNDRYMAN.

GENERAL GRANT AS A LAUNDRYMAN.
1t is not always safe to play a practi-
cal joke unless you are thoroughly &C
quainted with your victim. 1t is some
times sadly true that the bitter is bit
ten"
We were gathered around bright fire
in cozy sitting room, The colonel to
our great delight had gone back twenty.
four years to his tent at the base of Ken
esaw Mountain, and was again, as in
those past eventful years, following the
banner of Sherman. Suddenly an odd
thought flashed through the writer's
mind, and found expression in ques
ton.
"Colenel,' said, Il have read and
heard great dead about army life; but
on one point was never much much
enlightened. How was the washing
done? Who did it for the soldiers A
smile stole around the corner of the col
onels rather stern mouth, his black
eyes twlnkled,
Usually the soldiers did it for them
selves, but remember one case where
General Grant did some washing for a
soldier"
Everybody looked up in surprise.
Much as we had heard OF Gen. Grants
old army blouse and Democratic ways
among the men, this idea of washing for
a private was very novel. There was a
chorus of questions and EXPLANATIONS.
WAS it really true Did he wash for
the soldiers : How did it happen Tell
us about it ?"
Yes" said the colonel. ut is really
true, and it happened in this way. 1t
was during our advance upon Corinth;
several soldiers were talking together
one day. A tall, ungainly, raw recruit
stepped up to them with bundle of
soiled clothes in his hand. DO you
know where | can get this washing
done ? he asked.
Two of the group were practical
jokers; bright thought flashed into
their heads, and as the sequel shows,un
fortunately found expression. oh, yes,
we know; just go up there with your
bundle pointing to the headquarters of
General Grant, you will see short,
stout man describing the general). who
does washing, Take your bundle to
him.
THE recruit thanked them and walk.
ed off in the direction indicated. He
gained entrance to headquarters, and
stood in the generals presence.
What can do for you ? said Gen
Grant.
" i was directed here by a couple of
soldiers. They told me that you did
washing, and have bundle here
General Grant probably enjoyed the
situation, but his imperturable face did
not relax. He simply asked the ques-
ton. Could you identify those men
again ?
Eyes, SIR
Very well you shall have a chance.
Turning to On orderly, he directed
him to call guard, go with the recruit
to where the jokers were standing ready
to enjoy his discontinue, and let him
identify them.
"'Take the men to the guard house,
give them this mans bundle of clothing
and make them wash it thoroughly. See |
that the work is well done
1.-THE general was obeyed to the let
ter, and no more bundles of sOiled |
clothes came to General Grants head |
arters."-ITreasure Trove.
The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-08-30
WISE AND OTHERWISE.

Six Austin merchants have been sent
to prison for briblrg custom house Of
fcers,
Wild grape vines festooned with
golden rod made pretty decoration for
a country festival,
A courtship of twenty four years end
ed in marriage at Hights,on, N. j., the
other day.
Little Johnnie insists up5n calling
small gooseberries "gosIingberries."
Bronze John" is a new Florida term
for yellow Jack"
A reunion Of survivors Of q railroad
disaster was probably the most gloomy
picnic of the season.
The large patronage OF open horse
cars on suburban routes shows that the
opportunities for cheap rides are well
appreciated.
Prepared by a combination, proper
tion and process peculiar to itself,
Hoods SarsaparlIa accomp!ishes cures
hitherto unknown.
A Georgia peach tree has borne four
crops this season, il local paragrapher
can be believed.
Wild flowers will keep fresh for sev.
eral days or perhaps two weeks in vases
filed with clean sand and water.
A Pasadena (Cal } milkman served one
OF his customers with fine two inch
trout the other morning.
A fakir at Coney Island was caught
working lung tester that responded to
suction with draft of matt whisky.
A Kansas salt maker has constructed
a Lots wife Of his commodity and sent
it as an advertisement to the Cincinnati
Exposition.
A hailstorm in the city of Pueblo
Mexico. was so violent that the streets
and all traffic suspended for the time.
A novel GUNNER excursion has been
an expedition across Greenland on snow
shoes. A party of Norwegians went
from the east to the west coast In this
way.
According to Southern writer
sorghum strip has a soothing effect on
the disposition of women and children,
who probably are easily appeased by
sugar candy.
Nathan Plummer, NJ. D., of Auburn.
N H., says that he has used Wisters
Balsam of Wild Cherry in his practice
for more than ten years, and finds it the
most tffectual remedy within his
knowledge. He recommends it with
great confidence to those subject to
coughs and pulmonary complaints.
A summer business recommended for
women is sewing on buttons and general
mendinP. The man whose wife has
gore out of town is apt to be in sore
distress if he hasn't learned to sew on
buttons himself.
The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-08-30
FITCHBURG r. r.
Elk. Office Wells, N. Y.
HoOsAC TUNNEL ROUTE.

HoOSAC TUNNEL ROUTE.
On and aftcr July End, 1855, trains will run as
follows
LEAVE BENNINGTON VIA. BENNINGTON & RUTLAND
RAILWAY.
Leave Bennington ! 20 a m, arrive Troy Is,
m, New York IL m, Hoosick Falls Q 30, North
Adams 10 49, Greenfield II 30 a m,Fitchburg IS,
Boston 90 p II, INTERCHANGEABLE l5,Saratoga,e 80,
an,
Leave Bennington l2 10 M arrive Troy 9 Is,
New York 90, nOOsiCk Falls 26, North Adams
81, Greenfield SO. Fitchburg IS, Boston As p
m, Mechanicville 40, Saratoga 10.
Leave Bennington IS p m, arrive Troy IS,
m, New York (via steamer)6 10 a m, HoOsick
Fails II, No. Adams 90 p m, Boston 10 m,
Mechanicville IS, p. m.
Leave Bennington IL 10 night, arrive Troy 1 IS
New York 90 am.
LEAVE VIA. LEBANON SPRINGS RAILROAD.
Leave Bennington Q OOA m. arrive No. Adams
10 Is, Greenfield II 30 a. m. Fitchburg l IS p. m.
Boston 3 90 p. m.
Leave Bennington 90 p m. arrive Troy IS
IIoosick Falls a., No Adams 7 90 p. m.
TRAINS ARRIVE AT BENNINGTON.
VIA BENNINGTON 6 RUTLAND ny:
| goa m, from New York, Albany and Troy.
Q IS a m, from New York (via. steamer), AL
bauy Troy, HoOsick Falls, No. Adams, Saratoga
and Mechanicville.
2SSpm, from New York. Albany Troy, Hoosick
Falls, No. Adams and Boston.
635pm from New York. Albany, Troy. Hoosick
Falls North Adams and Boston,
VIA. LEBANON SPRINGS RAILROAD.
2l5p. m. from Boston, Greenfield and North
Adams,
s55p. m. from Troy, No. Adams and Boston
J.wHTTMoRE, J.R WATSON,
Gent Traffic Mgr, Boston. Gent Pass; Ag't
Geni Western Passenger Agent Troy.
The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-08-30
NEWSPAPER HUmOR.
WRITTEN WITH A SIX DOLLAR PAIR or
SHEARS.

gvrp.p.
'iihAN''I
Why is heshy wiie-beater like apop-
ular opera? Because he is fat and hits
her.
Miss Chalker and Mr.. Waterman
of Cheshire were married recently. They
intend to go into the milk business.
An Irishman tells of fight in which
there was only one whole nose left in
the crowd and that one belonged to the
tea-kettle.
In one of the interior counties, the
other day, Robert Guile and Mary Will
liams were married. Now she is Mary
OF X. Guile.
"Mournful sight, Dick,n said a blue
ribbon apostle to his jovial friend, Eyes,
indeed, Joe, more'n full!n was the sol
emn reply.
A swell who suffered horribly paid
attention to very pretty actress. "Ah,
sir" said she, life is too short. ]
haven't time to listen to YOU"
The Irish doctor-"And thin. Wi re.
gard to the swellin' at the back of vel
head, don't apprehend anything sar.
ious; but kape yer eye aharp 'pon it!'
John Bulls very latest Why is the
American eagle gazing on the setting
sun like an heir entering on his posses.
sions? Because he has got his beak.
west.
Tho worst case of so,fsbnose on roo.
ord is that of a youth who complained
because his mother put larger mustard
plaster on his Younger brother than She
did on himE
An elderly resident was onnrooched
Inv an oGenf for n cycionedio e I G %mess
| won't get one,n said he, and frankly
added, II know never could learn tc
ride one of the pesky things
A rich Scotchman at the point Of
death said to his nastor. "Do Won think
if | left 10. 900 pounds TO the church. my
soul will he sayedp" ~ cant nromise Z
answered the good man after thought
'but it's worth trying
A bov Mt an Ohio fair rot five dollars
for ootinT n hor of vnIInw Soon man
at the same fair wrestIed With three.
card monte-and the result was the
same in each case. Both the bow and
the man were effectually "cleaned ont. I,
"Sbon ~ said Drtcbmon Won NAV
saw what Won nleases,hout mad neiGh.
bors: | have had te vsrst neiS6bors as
never vas. Mine pigs and mine hens
come home NIT deere cars sniff and Tod.
der day two Of them come home mis-.
sing
"Condrotor univ didn't Won volo ~,
ND as asked yoTP Here am miles
beyond NV station II did try SIR but
ali I could get YOU to saw was "Ali
right Maria: ret the children tbeiI
breakfast and III be down in minute. =
A moddlosoro old Tro,,,on ,vos snoor
irn III oia mGilian was siiee i:
uiih a. 5 SUTn nJ Io "w4 WI IaI
, wlv moi r nm,I o" "rI o w Lo IoG"Ie
m aSS sha 1 neEeI oLSm' " nay 9"OS W.,
The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-08-30
HOW TO TREAT CRAMP IN THELEG.

Many persons OF both sexes arS great
ly troubled with cramps in one or both
legs. Most persons jump out of bed (it
nearly always comes on Just after GO
ing to bed or while undressing and ask
some one to rub the leg. | have known
it to last for hours, till in despair they
would send for the family physician and
even then it would be hours before the
spasm would cease. There is nothing
easier than to make the spasm let go its
hold and may be accomplished without
sending for doctor, who may be tired
and in need ola good nights rest. When
| have patient who is subject to cramps
| always advise him provide him
self with a good strong cord. A
long garter will do if nothing else is
handy. When the cramp comes on take
the cord, wind it aroud the leg over the
place where it is cramped, and take an
end in each hand and give it sharp pull
one that will hurt little. Instantly
the cramp will cease and the sufferer
can 60 to bed assured that it will not
come on again that night. have saved
myself many good nights rest simply
by posting my patients subject to spasms
of the legs how to use the cord as above.
| have never known it to fail, and
have tried it after they have worked
half the night and the patient was in the
most intense agony Even in such cases
at the first jerk of the cord all pain
left Medical Age.
The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-08-30
MY WIFE SAID

to me last night: How much do you
suppose we have paid out for doctors
and medicine in the last year? l told
her did not know. To doctors have
paid nothing, and five dollars worth of
Sulphur Bitters has kept health in our
family l.. ANDREWS,
IL Bowdoin ST.. Boston.
The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-08-30
Advice to Mothers.

huNlCe 10 mothcFs.
Mus. WINsLows SOOTHING SYRUP, for children
teething, is the prescription Of one of the best fe
male nurses and physicians in the United States,
and has been used for forty years with never.
failing success by millions Of mothers for their
children, During the process of teething its value
is incalculable 1t relic yes the child from pain,
cures dysentery and diarrhGa, gripping in the
bowels, and wind.colic, By giving health to the
child it rests the mother. Price 25c,
bottle. 22yl
The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-08-30

nRnMT TYRewarded are those who read
UHUI M this and then act; they will find
nI,HL honorable employment that will
Ia Ukk0 y not take them from their homes
and families. The profits art large and sure for
every industrious person, many have made aud
are now making several hundred dollars month.
II IL easy for any one TO make s. and upwards
per day, who is willing to work. Either sex, old
Everything new. No special ability required; you
reader, can do Il as well as any one. Write to us
at once for full particulars, which We mail free,
The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-08-30
Y GU
DIZZY ?

0Un1 Sea wonders exist in thousands Of
Uuuufprms, hut are surpassed by the marvel
HRRV Of invention. Those who are in need Of
uA1A profitable work thGt can b. done while
living &C home, should at once send their address
to IIaiett & Co, Portland, Maine, and receive
Tree, full information how either sex, of all ages
can earn from g. TO S2j per day aud upward,
wherever they live. You are start, free Capital
not required Some have made $50 IN single day
at thus work, al succeed. 4gyl
The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-08-30

Cuticura, the great skin cure, and Cuticura
Soap. prepared from it, externally, and Cuticura
a positive cure for every form Of skin and blood
diseases from pimples to scrofula.
The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-08-30

Sold everywhere. Price: CUTIcURA, so cents;
REsoLvENT, 81; SOAP, 25 cents Potter DRUG
AND CHEMICAL Co., Boston, Mass.
~ Send for Glow to Cure Skin Diseases"
81 pages, so Illustrations and 100 testimonials
The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-08-30

INVENTION =; : ;: s: !: ::: $ 4:
progress is method and system Of work that can
be performed all over the country without Separ-
ating the workers from their homes. Pay liberal;
any one can do the work; either sex, young or
old; no special ability required. Capital not need
ed; you are started free. Cut this out and return
to us and we will send you free, something OF
great value and Importance to you, that will start
you in business, which will bring you IN more
more money right away, than anything else in
the world. Grand outfit free. Address TRUE &
Co., Augusta, Maine. 49yl
The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-08-30
FRlGHTFUL SKIN DISEASE
Body Covered with Sores. Cured by
tho Cuuicura Remedies.

MEssRs. STEVENS & BRUNER, Monroe, n. c.
DEAR SIRs.-AbOut two months ago, on your
recommendation, bought bottle of Cuticura
Resolvent, one box CutiCura Salve, and one cake
of Cuticura Soap, for my son, aged thirteen
years. who has been afflicted with eczema for q
long time, and am pleased to say that believe
the remedies have cured him. His sufferings were
intense, his head being nearly raw, his cars being
gone except the griste, and his body was covered
with sores. Ills condition was frfghtfu to behold
The sores have now oil disappeared, his skin is
healthy, eyes bright, cheerful in disposition, and
is working every day My neigh6ors are wit
ncsses to this remarkable cure and the doubling
ones are requested 10 call or write me, or any of
my neighbors.
WIN. S. STEPHENSON,
Winchester, p, o., Union Co., n. c.
The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-08-30

MONROE, n C., c., %, 1857
The POTTER DRUG & CHEMICAL Co.,
GENTLEMEN.-Mr, VIM. Stephenson of this
county brough his son to town to day to let us
see him, and to show us what Cutcura Remedies
had done for him, This is the case referred to in
our letter to you some time ago. To look at the
boy now, one would suppose that there had never
been anything the matter with him.-seems to be
in perfect health We have written and here
with inclOse what his father has TO say about the
matter,-wrOte 1t just as he dictated.
We are selling quite quantity of CutiCura
Remedies and hear nothing but prases for them.
We regard the Cnticura Remedies the best in the
market, and shall do all we can to promote their
sale. Yours truly,
STEVENS & BRUNER,
Druggists and Pharmacists.
The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-08-30
oA n E'ORD'S GINGER
Sold by all Druggists and Grocers.
PAINS and WEAKNESSES

OF FEMELEs
nm Instantly relieved By the Cuticura
qtfb Anti-Pain Plaster, new, most
nr&ktketg agreeable instantaneous and infa-
R&tSK lie painkilling plaster especially
ESNSSI=P adapted to relieve Female pains and
N"sSaY weaknesses. Warranted vastly supe-
r0r to all other plasters, and the most perfect an.
tidOte TO pain, Inflammation and weaknesses vet
compounded. At all druggists Csc; five for 81 90
or postage free. Potter Drug and Chemical Co.,
Boston, Mass