Wichita eagle., 1888-02-04
ARMSTRONG'S LESSON.

una river tnefe lived queer genius named
Armstrong. He was All honest miner, not
differing materially from his fellows. except
ing that he had curious habit of talking to
himself. From the simple reason that he de-
parted from the common custom in this one
particular he was of course voted crazy bv
all the other miners. To call all persons
"crazy" who do not follow the customs of
the majority is constant habit with men.
But day after day Armstrong worked away
with his pick and shovel, caring nothing for
the remarks of his neighbors, and seeming to
wish for no partner in his tolls or rest, save
the invisible parsonage whom he always adj
dressed in the second person singular, and
with whom he was almost always in close and
earnest conversation. The drift of his talk
while at work would be as follows:
Rather tough work, Armstrong-rich
dirt, though-grub 81 pound-no time to
waste-pitch in, sir-hanged if don't wish
was in the states. This mining s mighty
hard work. Nonsense, Armstrong; what A
fool you are to be talking this way, with
three ounces day right under your feet, and
nothing to do but just to dig it out"
His conversation would be duly punctuated
with strokes of the pick and lifts of the
loaded shovel And so the days would pass
along, and Armstrong worked and slept and
talked with his invisible partner Well, it
happened in due course of time that the class
OF human vampire commonly called gam
blers made their appearance at the camp
where Armstrong had been working. As he
was not above following the example of his
fellows, he paid the newcomers visit. 1t is
the same old story. After watching the game
awhile lie concluded it was the simplest thing
in the world. So he tried his luck and won
500! Now, any new experience would set
Armstrong to thinking and talking to himself
worse than ever 1t was SO this time. ''Non.,
Armstrong" he said, as he hesitated about
going to work the next morning, .'that is the
easiest 500 you ever made in your life.
What's tho use Of your going into a hole
IN the ground to dig for three ounces day?
The fact is, Armstrong, you are sharp. You
are not made for this kind of work Suppose
you just throw away your pick and shovel,
leave the mines, buy snit ct store clothes,
dress up like born gentleman, and go at
some business that suits yor2 talentn
Armstrong was not long in putting these
thoughts and sayings into action He left
the diggin2s and invested in fine clothes. He.
looked like another man, but he was still the
same Armstrong, nevertheless He was not
long in finding an opportunity to try new
profession. Walking forth in his fresh outfit,
he had just concluded a long talk with him
self about his bright prospects when he
halted in front of a large tent with sign
over it, "AIiners' Rest" Armstrong went
in 1t did not seem to him that he remained
very long, but is was long enough to work
Init hi
he came out he was a changed man-that is
to say, he was a ''changeless" man. He was
amazed, bewildered. He had
lost his money, lost his new prospect, lost his
everything but his new
clothes and low habit of talking to himself.
II is useless to say that he was mad Arm.
strong was very mad. But there was 10 one
to be mad at but armstrong himself, so self
number two was in for rough lecture.
Now, Armstrong, you are nice speci-
fool-you bilk-you dead beat-you
ini"- Well, I need not repeat all the
hard things he said. Like King Richard, he
''found within himself no pity for himself"
But mere words were not sufficient. Ii was
a time for action. But Armstrong never once
thought of drowning, shooting, hanging OF
lny other form of suicide He was alto
eother too original, as well as too sensible,
fol- that. Vet be was resolved on something
real and practical in the way of reformatory
He felt the need of a self-im-
posed decree of bankruptcy that should rem
der the failure as complete as possible, and
prevent similar course in the future
So the broken firm OF Armstrong IL Self"
went forth in meditation long and deep.
Some of his thoughts were almost too deep
for utterance. But finally he stood by the
dusty road along which the great freighting
wagons were hauling supplies to the mining
camp up the Sacramento. One Of these
wa CONS drawn By six yoke of oxen, was just
passing. Snap, snap, snap, in slow, irregu-
lar succession, came the keen, singing re-
ports of the long Missouri OK whip. 'G'lang!
slang! wo haw!' shouted the tall, dust be-
grimed driver, as he swung his whip and
cast sidelong glance at the broken firm,
"What in thunder all them
store clothes was doin' thar Now, when
Armstrong saw the long column of white
lust rising behind that wagon he was taken
with an idea. So he shouted to the driver to
know if he might be allowed to walk in the
road behind the wagon.
Get in and ride said the driver.
''No,' said Armstrong, 81 wish to walk"
''Then walk, You crazy fool was the ac-
response, as the driver swung
lis whip.
Then came the tug of war. Greek never
net Greek more fisrcely than did the two
spirits composing the firm Of
Armstrong & Self at that particular moment
"Now, Armstrong" said the imperious
head Of the firm, You git right in the mid
lie of that road, sir, and walk in that dust
behind that wagon"
what, with these clothes on Why, it is !
fifteen miles, and dusty all the way"
mo matter, sir; take the road. You
;cuander your money on three card monte;
I'll teach you a lesson"
.G'lang, g'lang!" drawled the driver, as he
oosed over his shoulder with curious min
cling of pity, contempt or wonder on his dusty
ace. More and more spitefully snapped the
;winging whip, as the slow paced oxen toiled
nile after mile under the heat of Septem-
Der sun And there in thero.d trudged Arm /
trong behind the wagon; slowly, YEARLY, /
but not silently. He was
nan who always spoke his thoughts.
This serves you right, Armstrong. Any
nan who viii fool his money away at three .
ard monte deserves to walk in the dust"
at viii spoil these clotheA'
'Well, don't you deserve it!'
"The dus. nils my eyes"
"Yes; any man who CANDLES all his dust
way at thres card monte deserves to have
lust in his eFes-anG alkai dust at that"
The dust chokes me-
"An right; any man who will buck at
noats deserves TO 10 choked. Keep the road,
ir-ths middle Of the rcad--cloee UP TO the
wagon Do you thiak you VIII ever buck at
monte agsin, Armstrong;
And 50 the poor culprit, self arrested, self
coughed and snee,ed and choSed
nd vvalEoi and falkAi r,,ila . flor y7ila hC,rr /