Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1888-11-17
RIPPLES OF MERRIAiENT.

which experience is not essential to
success. Traveler.
He whose schooner passes too often
over bar will find himself making the
voyage of life on o sea of troubles
Ocean.
"ITs cold day when 1 get left" said
the summer straw hat, as it cuddled ND
snugly in the dust on top of the ward.
! robe.-Plck.
COME and have quiet game of ten
mis-, said Johnson. Cant" replied
i Thompson, never could play tennis
without racket. BOSTON Bulletin.
WHAT is their great loss is my i'm.
mediate gain" said the minister softly
to himself. as he blithely pocketed the
i customary marriage fee.-Someruiil
| Journal
Mrs. REDMUD (of New Jersey)-Did
Young Mr.. Gotham propose to you last
night, Lulu? Miss Lulu (shyly)-Not
quite, NAV, but he kissed me several
times.-Epoch
| The man who said that marriage re-
sembles lottery labored under mis-
understanding. When You patronize q
lottery you have some show of coming
! out ahead.-Lincolp Journal.
PHILADELPHIA dame Cat table)-My
gracious! You are spilling that gravy
on the carpet. New waitress Cheer
fully There's plinty more in the
kitchen, mum. Philadelphia Record.
IT is said that when q girl gets to be
35 she is fond of being called Daisy, If
that happens to be her first name. At
16 she insists on being called Miss
Smith. -4tchison (Kan.) Globe.
A DOMESTIC paper has mournfu1
TRADE about woman's waste. Do not
repine, dear friend, do not repine..
The young American is taking the
woman's waist in hand.-LO,ceH Citi-
zen.
! "MIsTAH FAIRLY, I guess the baby's
swallered some rat pizen, an ma
thought maybe you'd know wot was
good fur it." "W'y, chile, yo' mus glib
it anecdote right away!"-Ha,pers
Bdzar.
WHEN an American autocrat gets
angry at man he says: II will put a
head on you." When the Sultan of
Turkey gets angry at man he says: "I
will take headloT you. Huntington
Free Press.
My wife has invented q new style
of pastry, stuffed with chestnuts and
dates; and what do you suppose she
calls it ?" "Oh, pate de dyspepia, prob
ably" "No, almanac pie."-Spring-
field Union.
A COMPOUND has been discovered that
will sober up drunken man in ten
minutes. The question arises, will the
man who has spent a weeks wages to
get drunk, care to lose his load so sud-
enly?-Erchange.
as THERE any way to make new fur
niture look as though it had been made
a century ago." asks q correspondent.
do it ninety-nine times out of one hum
dred.-BU'lington Free Press.
Two DANCERS, who had been attempt
ing waltz at ball, stopped moment
during pause in the music. $50 you
are fond of waltzing?" asked the lady.
Il adore it." responded her cavalier.
"Then hadn't you better try and learn?"
"How to Tell Woman's Age" It is
bad information How to know a wom-
ans age would be useful knowledge,
but the man who undertakes to tell it
is simply brute.-NelC Orleans Plea
yatne.
Mrs. J.-My new piano reminds me
of a successful businessman. Mr.. j.
Why? Mrs. 10, we'll, it's always
square. And then its notes never go
to protest. Mr.. J.-No; but the neigh
bors are going to.-TeTre Hdute En-
press.
A FARMER came into q Western hard
ware store the other day and inquired
for kingsley's WESTWARD HO." He
said. that he had heard so much about
it that he thought he would just try it
on the farm and see how it worked
Boston Post.
"No, Bella" said Miss After
thoughts male parent, with decisive
bang of the piano lid, "you shall not
sing the Lullaby or any other song from
'Erminie' this evening"" ooh, do let
her!" pleaded Mrs. Afterthought. Il do
so love a popular malady."-
HdCey1 Ne1Cs.
ORGANISMS your party marches
down the aisle will play some impress
sive march. Prospective bridegroom
That's good; but be particular about
the key. Organist-Oh, certainly. I
invariably play wedding marches in B
fiat. Two flats seem so appropriate
Boston Republican.
PATERFAMILIAs-Will you be in the
neighborhood of the gas office this
morning? Son-Yes, sir. "Then
need not go round there. Just drop in,
tell them we have returned from the
country, would like to have the gas
turned on, and get bill of the amount
consumed while it was turned off,
Philadelphia Record
OCCASIONALLY Burdette condescends
to teach lesson in his fun. There ia
a condensed business college course in