St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1888-11-29
Tlte GaIedunian.
SCOLDING.
Some Reasons why scoIdfng is not Adj
visable.


Some Reasons Why scoIding is not Ad-
visable.
Reu. Theo. E. Schmauk in Sunday School Times.
"TOngues are more to be dreaded, "
says Sturgeon, ethan beasts of prey
and when they strive, it is as though n
whole pack of wolves were let loose
Fl Yet many mild and sanity looking
b woman, who seems otherwise to be of
consistent conduct, and many yonng
girl, who is all smiles and sweetness
on the street or in Sunday school, are
among those whose teeth are spears
and arrows, whose tongues are swords.
What bitter words Bombshells that
are charged with impotence, vulgarity
and profanity Such women become
incendiaries, applying the flaming
torch to the kingdom of God in their
midst. As for their home, they turn it
into a hornets nest. Not less terrible
II than these fiery termagants, and equal
Fl ly disgraceful, is the cursing man. To
many a poor soul jobs promise, "ThOu
shalt he hid from the scourgc of the
tongue" would be more precious in its
fulfilment than the possession of much
silver and fine gold.
Is scOlding necessary Must mother
give father ga piece of her mind ?"
Must she let the servant ''knOw who is
mistress 7" Must the teacher threaten
his pupils till the hairs stand on end
# Must the master mechanic curse his
wOrkmen, and the merchant elbow up"
his clerks7 He must not. Scolding is
not necessary. 1t does no good. Blame,
rebuke, reprove, discipline, punish,
even express Indignation, guardedly.
Fathers and mothers especially have
the solemn duty of Christening their
Ill. 4
# ly says, "Chasten thy son while there
is hope, and let not thy soul spare for
& his crying" Bnt scOlding is none of
these things. 1t does not help to train
up: it hardens and makes worse. For
what is it 2 Scolding is not IL blaming
and reprOving of others because they
do wrong, but BECAUSE you are annoy
eel and provoked 10y what they do
b or it is nothing more than venting of
irritation on those around you simply
because you feeI like it, and without
regard to- consequences.
There are six separate reasons why
scOlding does no good, and why con
sequently we ought not to scOld. First
of all, scOlding arOuses resentment in
stead of sorrow. You are calling forth
& impotence instead of shame. A soft
answer turneth away wrath but
person scOlded will be tempted to
answer, to "give it all back, and more
too" Then the hasty spirit is almost
sure to make leaps, and daslies over
the bounds of logic and of fact, and
thus to afford ever fresh material for
mutual recrimination. Involved final
ly in interminable embodiment, scOld-
ing tends to become IL matter of deX
terlty in t1inging abusive words.
great and scandalOus breach is made
between two souls.
In the second place, scOlding is a
confession of temper and irritability,
and therefore does no good. You
yourself are lawless; and do you pro-
pose by an exhibition of lawlessness to
restrain another within the law9 You
rouse yourself to wildness and foolish
ness. You yourself show an ugly
spirit. Even where the rebuke is just
q point and is greatly needed, the one
fcoIded will feel, Gle only says that
because he is mad with rage" If we
could see ourselves in such II paroxysm
of passion, and could realize how it
detracts from the dignity, respect and
ascendency which ought to accompany
our presence, and how it belittles us
in the eyes of our interiors, we would
be amazed.
In the third place, scOlding is con-
fessOn of pOwerlessness and defeat, or
at least of weakness, and therefore
does no good. When people are baf-
fled, cornered, beaten, or helpless,
there is still one thing left to them.
They can still be ugly with their ton
que. 1t is their hour of great provo
cation. They have failed to control
things, and SO they give vent to their
Il inf, If 10
the only way left them of taking re-
venge.
In the fourth place, scolding is a
confession of Willingness to pain others
just for the sake of relieving ones self.
The soul manifests itself as selfish, in
cOnsiderate, reckless, running daggers
into the heart of friend and foe alike,
with very slender cause of purpose.
The fifth reason why scoiding does
no good is that there is IL tendency to
concentrate it upon the heads of those
with whom you do not sympathize.
Very probably your scOlding is not
fair. The one whom yOu like the least
is the one who gets it the most, wheth
he is innocent or whether he Is
guilty. He is made the scapegOat for
others. You are prejudiced against
him, and he is compelled to stand the
wrong, the superstition is that George
did it. He broke the latch. He left
down the gate. He hacked the banis-
tiers. He whitfield sticks on the car
pet. And George shall be the scape-
goat for all domestic misunderstand-
ings and suspicion. If things go wrong
in the culinary department, i'll comes
the mother ansrily, and says, Where
is George 7 If business matters are
perplexing at the store, in comes the
father at night and says, Where is
George n" And often the poor boy
reasons, "Well, will get the blame
anyhow; | might rs well deserve it
"Iu many household there is such IL
one ingled out for suspicion and casti
Cation. All the sweet flowers of his
soul are blasted under this perpetual
northeast STORM"
The sixth great reason why scolding
does no good is because it very gener
ally contains much downright false
hood. First of all, the charges and
accusations are not pure truth. A lit
tie gnat of fact is magnified into Il
great camel it is awfully and terribly
enlarged or Il siugle Individual case
is made the basis of IL sweeping and
universal statement "You are always
in mischief" But besides great ex-
aggeration in the charges, there is
likely to be equally great exaggeration
in the threats. Passing along the
street | have heard mothers say to