The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1888-04-20
WITTY WISDOM.


to be happy man.
1t takes longer for a man to find out
man than any other creature that is
made.
Flowers are the sweetest things that
God ever made and forgot to put soul
into.
The skeleton in the closet is often in
the shape of long necked bottle.-Judge-
"A large head is sign of brains, but
big head is a sign Of folly.
Philadelphia Can. .
If You want to go to heaven when
you-d die you'd best start now.
Louiscipe Democrat.
-Cucumbers, college graduates and
other green things are now plentiful. 4
BJslOll Globe.
A man is seldom very much hated
until he. is successful. 4
Phladeiphid77 77Norlt american.
"A proli mcn is seldom n grateful
man, for he never thinks that he gets as
much rs he deserves;
- Charity may cover A multitude of
Gins, put that is no. its regular business.
Neg Orleasts Picdy,sse.
1t is pity that our neighbors do not
know as well rs We do what is best for
them. Boston Courier.
Never want anything you can't get
and you will always get all you want. 4
GlenlU0od Cactus. \
Yes, my boy, you may fight with the
little brown jug, but you can never liquor.
Duluth Pardgrdpher.
The livery horse is not so much of a
charger AZ the chap that runs the stable.
Yonkers Gdsette.
Fashionable women shed more tears
over spoiled dresses than over spoiled
children Louisville Democrat A
Advice to husbands: Never talk in
your sleep unless you are sure what you
are going to say. NelDdrk Journal.
Talk is cheap. The man that talks
too much gets SO liberal that he gives
himself away. Baltimore AmericGn.
When you put your fingers into
somebody else's pie you must expect 10
get tart rcjo.nders. -
burlington Free Press. 1
whose mother-in-law has caught him
kissing the servant girl.
FaH Rirer Aduocate :
far as men are concerned, il is a very
hard world TO repent in. 1t is bitter
world; it is cruel world.
I'm the lottery Of life, the man who
works for results, instead OF specializing
Tor them, wins the biggest prizes.
baltimore american.
A young man going into politics
should give his character to the devil
and his pocket-book TO his wife. When
he repents he may be saved.
NeW Orleans Picay,tns
The natives OF the Cannibal islands
are beginning to raise objections to the
a tobacco nv =
ground that the flavor is disagreeable in
their soup.
Two men were arguing in a pasture
field, with only q goat for an audience
In reply TO a statement OF one the other
said: q know. But" The goat took
him at his word and the argument was
continued on the other side OF the fence
Said a sharp attorney to a rambling
witness: Now, you must give explicit
and exact answers: Yol said you drove
a milkwagon, didn't YOU ?'' "No, sir,
didn't" "Don't you DIVE a milk wag-
on W "No, SIR" AHA What do you
do, sir ?'' Il drive hoss, sir"
A crooked compliment was paid a
German young lady, who said Now,
Herr Lieutenant, if you don't at once
cease your batteries | shall have TO hold
both my ears shut" MY adorable
Frseulein," answered the officer, your
pretty little hands are far too small for
that
During thunderstorm down South
a negro man sat in door way amusing q
little white boy with some wonderful
stories, when a thunderbolt struck near
by, knocking the child prostratc The
man MAS on his feet in an instant and
throwing himself into an ajax attitude,
he exclaimed: "Why doan yo strike a
man Whafio yo knock chile down
dataway ?"
History says that Cleopatra placed
before Antony a forty-thousanI-dollar
pearl, dissolved in vinegar, to eat Now
II Is also recorded that Antony was swim
ish enough TO abuse his privilege of office
by getting away with millions of the
peoples money; how then would this
pass for the most notable instance of
casting pearls before swine" on record.
Mr.. Tightbark (benedict)-"Oh yes,
II is much cheaper to be married. Two
can get along with the same provision,
or even less than is necessary for one"
Mr.. Ioncman (single )-"That's all right
as 10 the matter OF household affairs, but
when you 60 to the theater how do YOU
manage ," NJ. T. "Ah very nicely:
there being two to pay for We don't go;
we stay at home and save twice rs much
us you would by the plan"
WIrH guitar in his hand Mr.. Crowley es-
sayed
To ser enade Kitty, his beautiful maid.
10 Kitty, my love" said this son of the
forest,
'I've got no pin money to give to the
florist
"Or, love, / would send you charming
bouquet"
"Mr. Crowley, said Kitty, 'tnow, pray, 60
away.
You quite frighten me, sir, with your
lover-like tone.
You must ask my mamma, for my hands
not my own"
NJ y. Morning Journal.