Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1888-12-22


ne Gives = HarF0Win< Account cI H'1 LnEI
sad Failure IN Sqlit'cs.
HE vhas no useF sighd5 Carl Dun-
der, as he entered the Woodbric Sc street
police station yesterday and dropped
into a chair.
no what do you referP" queried Ser-
geant Bendall
ITO some politics. ] shan't nefer try
to understand him again. ] vhas all
busted cop und broke down"
'.9owr'
''Vhell. der poys came in my place
two months ago und say to me: 'Oldt
mails, 60 in und bet on Cleadands. He
vhas der man to get there. He Will
shweep der colihtf
"Vhell. like to make some money,
und SO bet feefty dollar on Cleadand.
II rhasn't ffe dave before some poys
come IN my place una yciA@ out
ray for Harrisonl He vhas der poy
who knocks EN- all out! Say, oldt
mans, II you like to make some money,
bet on Harrison. He vhas der feller TO
sweep dis country.
s'Vhell, pellet dot, und I bet feefty
dollar on Harrison. Pooty soon an all
aerman comes in my place for glass
Of bem un says: Say, Dunder, don't
you be some fools. If you haf some
money oop on Cleaaands take her down
right avhay. Dot election Will knock
him out like crowbar.'
'Dat scares me like eaferytings, und
elf Gfe dollar to withdraw my bet IL
vhasn't fife days pefore anoder alder
man comes in my place to say: 'Hellol
Dunder, hei you make a shackass Of
yourselfP How? Why, dot Harrison
vhas for der Chinese und high taxes,
und we shall scoop him high und dry.
He shall nefer know who hit him. Let
me advise you as a friendt not TO put
any money on him.
''Vhell, dot seares me again, und ]
gif ten dollars to withdraw my bet on
him"
~ zee. Go on"
"Vhell, pooty soon a feller comes
sroundt nit banner on which vhas
painted, 'Chipman Headquarters, und
he saws: L6ok he-e, Mister Dunder,
1 like to gif you pointer Chipman
vhas sure to get there. Put oop dis
banner und go NIT der swim
'fVhell, l like to go und swim, und so
l tell him to nail it oop. It looks poOtyl
nice, but he vhas oop only one day PEI
fore feller comes along init banner
which readss Baker Headquarters
Der Poy for our Votes, und he says:
Say, oldt mans, dom act left Baker
vhas going in by five thousand majori-
ties, und if you vhasn't Baker man
you vhas greenhorn. Put dis oop as
queek as you cam
'Vhell, / put him oOp, und Baker
vhas left out In der cold. so vhas J. y
''It is sad,r sighed the sergeant
''You bet nit me it vhasl A feller
comes in my place und looks all aroundt
und whispers: Say, Dunder, if you
like to make money bet on Mr.. Young
blood He goes in by three thousand
ahead of LittleReld. vhas inside, und
know
"Vhell, make a bet Of feefty dollar,
but pooty soon a feller comes in, calls
mo into corner, und says: Mister
Uundcr, you vhas all right nit der boys,
und ] like to see you ahead. Bet two
10 one on Littlefeld. Dot vhas
STRAIGHT Dot scares me so l can't
sleep nights"
"You lost your fiftyP"
"Of coursel I lose on more ash ten
men, but vhas to blameP Vhas some
green horns to betP Here comes a man
who says dot Governor Burt vhas shust
so shure as next winter, und he likes to
gif me a pointer. Next comes a man
who SAYS he vhill bet his lung dot Luce
runs vhay ahead, und he likes TO gif
me chance to scoop der poys. How
vhas ] to tellP"
''Ycu can't :.
"Und so I lose more ash two hoon-
cred dollar und thas all proke oop."
YOU'D better let politics alone after
this"
Sergeant, see me in der left eyeI II
haf some more to do NIT politics In dis
country like TO be sent to der crSzy
housed Next time don't vote for no
pody, und if some pody comes to gif me
some pointers break him in two SO
queek he can't holler! I vhas all mixed
oop. Eaferypody vhas elected-eafery-
pody runs vhay ahead-eaferypody
vhas sure, und nopody comes out like
he oxpects-nopody but me, und vhas
wegetablesln- Detroit Free Press.