The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-02
BRIGHT BITS.

IT takes $4,000 to build S. 900 house The
beauty of the foregoing Is, that II Is both a joke
and a serious fact-Puck.
ICANNoT understand" complained the bari ,
why am alluded to as an obscure poet I'm
sure a child could understand my writings. -
Boston Courier.
MARK ANTONY is in the grocery business at
Atlanta, Probably he keeps good stock of
tatiX aud chewing gum to draw the Cleopatra
mage Springfield Union.
Now WE are told that there are no politics In
heaven. That is pretty rough m the politicians.
Boston Post. Not at all. They do not 20
there.--NeJo Orleans PicdyWne.
WHEN look at the congregation" said a
London preacher, Il say. Where are the poorg'
When count the offertory in the vestry / say,
Where are the rch?'- Living Church.
THE PBoNoGRAPH is the most polite machine
in the world. II receives long speeches without
"A murrnur, and with no signs of being bored
and a crank can make it talk.-New Orleans
Pic0ytne.
week that John Cooper, a farmer living near
Abiline. had planted during the day. II is still
customary to leave the railroads in Kansas out
over night.-Konsds CITY Star
II HEAR young Fastlegh has been painting
the town red since his uncle left him quarter
of Million"
why, anybody could paint the town red
with quart of vermilion.--L6e.
CUSTOMER lin restaurant)-I say, waiter, how
about that broiled spring chicken l ordered it
half an hour ago.
Waiter-Yes, sab; be here in minute Dat
spring chicken died very hard, sah.-New York
sun.
PATIENT Ito young Sawbones, who is about to
cut off his arm)-Do you think the operation
will be successful, doctor?
Young Sawbones-Of course it will; I'll have
that arm off in less than ten mnutes.-New
York Sun.
DENTAL ETHICS are a study. dentist in
PENNSYLVANIA advertised for wife, and got one
worth $50 900, without FORGETTING his standing in
the profession, while a Wisconsin dentist who
advertised for customers was elected from the
State northumberland Post.
THE Collector of Customs at this port recently
levied duty on two elephants imported by Adam
Forepaugh from Cuba. The Treasury Depart
ment at Washington has ordered that the duty
be refunded. The fact is that nothing dutiable
was found in their trunks.-Net1 York World.
Nor REcIPRocAL-Mrs, Della Creme (wearily)
I known everything we eat is adulterated, but
what can we do, Reginald We must trust our
grocer.
very true; and if-oh, flour grocer would only
trust us-TId Bits.
PREPARED FOR THE ENEMY.-Incensed Citizen
(enterng sanctum with horsewhip(-Be you the
editor of this here paper?
Editor-Hstl no, am not! am an
Anarchist, waiting for him with this dynamite
bomb.
l. c. vanishes.-PucE.
AN INDICATION OF COOP TAsrE.-"Jack, can it
be that you are going to marry Miss Equila-
teral?"
YES, Tom, and if you say anything to dis
parage her"
"Disparage her? Why, she proposed TO me,
too, last leap year"-LUe.
Life learns from a mother of family that
Miss Frances Willard has declared that dolls are
kI,n.,, a ard DC
same lady who wants to divorce us all from
liquor" and would like to have the universe
washed up, slick and clean at 7:45 O'Clock every
evening" and put to bed Immediately at 0
o'clock She was one of the six women dele
gates to the Methodist Conference who did not
get in and we are glad Of it.