The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1888-10-11
SAMANTHA DOODLE
Delivers a Short Lecture on Gen.
Jackson and Grover Cleveland.
Ike Doodle as s.The Aristocrat OF the
Breakfast Table,
The CORNERS, which is in J
the State of Brighton,
October Eth. 1888. J

know what iybel is, but / think it is
one of them things what lawyer uses
to put man in Jail with. | didn't
know what Ike might do, SO went to a
lawyer down at the Corners He said
that it Ike didn't keep still he would
get conjunction from the court that
would have restrainin' infooence over
Ike. He said that if Ike put you in
Jail he would git you out with writ Of
hebus Gorgeous. asked what that
ment and he said it was part of a dead
language and | guess it is because I new
er seed it before. don't know what
kind of thing hebus Gorgeous is, but
| guess it is some kind of law machinery
for breaking open jails. My lawyer is
Democrat what comes down to the
Corners wunst in while to see his
folks. He knows all about Ike and he
is on my side.
Mr.. Editer, the whole State of Brigh-
ton is being illuminerated with Repub-
lican politics and I noticed when Ike
sit down to the breakfast table this
mornin' that he had objected looking
appearance.
Samantha" says Ike, "the Demo-
Gratis are still huntln' in pairs and
quartetts and they are agoin' to beat the
Republicans out of their shoes"
"What do you mean by still huntin', :"
seq |.
Samantha" says Ike, eyer nuthin'
but frail, weak women and politics is
is sumthin yer don't wanter under
stand. Politics has demoralizin' in
fooence, Samantha, and I don't wanter
see yer standin' around the polls where
the men are spittin' terbaccer juice
and swearin' like mad"
"Ike Doodle" says I, eyer theory
don't run on all tours with yer practice.
Yer advise me TO keep way from the
place yer go to yerself because it is de-
moralizin'. Ever since yer jined the
Democrats you have been gittin' fuller
and fuller of general cussedness. Yer
are reformin' yerself backwards, Isaac,
jesG the same way yer President is re-
formin the civil service There is a
land of pure delight where saints stand
around with golden harps and mince
pie, but yer will never get there Isaac,
unless yer drop the Cleveland party and
quit drinking Racine whisky. The DO
litical swim in the State of Brighton i.
a little mixed, Isaac, and unless you arc
very careful, yer won't git nary post
office to help yer through the winter"
II know it, Samantha" says Ike,
alookin' kind of sick like; "the Repub-
licans have held meetin' in the State
of Brighton and organized Republican
club and all the good work I've been a
doin' fur free trade will he smashed.
I've been teachin' ther people of Their
State Of Brighton that free trade and
Jefersonian partnership is what we
want; and now them protection fellers
will come here with the star spangled
banner and brass band and will speak
fur Harrison and Morton and the great
American system of protection and they
will spoil all my work."
81 am glad of it." SEE [, layin' my
fork onter the table and passin' the
baked potatoes to Ike. eff there is
anything on ther top of earth that needs
a reformin' and turnin' over and twist
in around it is the State of Brighton
and Mrs. Cleveland's husband"
Ike was gittin' as red in the face as
billed lobster and was SO excited that
he put big chunk of pertater inter bis
mouth without samplin' Of it. It was
so hot and uncomfortable that he drop
ped the carvin' fork that he held in
his hand onter the cats tail The cat
commenced ter yowl and the dog barked
and then they commenced ter fight, and
they fought and fit all over the kitchen
and when Ike got up from the table he
was so narvous that he spilled cup of
coffee over his Sunday meeting breaches.
If there is one thing more than anuther
that | admire about Ike, it is his Dem
ocratic way of swearin and if you had
been there, Mr.. Editer, yer would have
heerd the most original swearin' ever
sworn in the State of Brighton.
As soon as Ike had recovered his
equilimberty and sot down at the table
| commenced at him agin.
sIke Doodle says I; "there are a
few things | want yer to pin onter yer
bandanner the next time yer 60 ter the
Corners. They are hard, cold facts, Ike
Doodle, and one of them facts is that
the politics of Grover Cleveland and
the politics of James K. Polk, the man
who, in 1914 betrayed the American
protective system inter the hands of its
enemies, was not the grand principals
taught by Tomas Jefferson, by Gen.
jackson and by Henry Clay. They are
not the kind of politics taught by
Washington, by Adams and Monroe,
and you know it, Ike Doodle. You
know as we'll as I do that Gen. jackson,
the man who fit the Britishers at Moo
Orleans and stood surrounded By avail