Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1888-11-23

~ \ z Gzl2la three or four shift
III less young Ioungers,
W. in pronounced sport
BE) ing" clothes, emilia
DEI -zoned with big brassy
6/F&SS~. scarf-pins and chains,
>-<s--s sz7g5 - their pockets overflow
3 ~. ing with gaudy silk
- ~ handkerchiefs, tooth
END a. brushes, and rubber
lHR' REf@fF combs - were tilted
back on an array of
sIippery-bottomed chairs at the front
entrance of a livery stable. They had
been arguing about the superior points
of several horses and girls of their ac-
quaintance, when a church bell began
to toll for a funeral.
another man joined the Turf
Club, " observed one Of the worthless,
afectiOnately greeted as "Pimples."
@Be my turn an yOurn, mebbe, after
hisn," suggested a bOw-legged assOci-
ate in lavender plaid brooches.
"Then you'll squeal like a sucking
pig, fOrecasted another, who was busy
designing landscape effects in tobacco
juice.
"Betcher Efe," assured "Pimples, q"
with a gleeful grin.
church an git piOus," advised the
hOstler. as he hung up a harness.
ooh, rats!" emphasized the worthy
In lavender.
"Come off. will ye," entreated the
landscape gardener, as he connected
two lakes together by a wide and spa
ciOus channel.
"Turn on the hose, suggested a
supplementary member Of the group,
with ears like the sails on an oyster
lugger.
This symposium of remarks was
meant to betOken dissent from the hos
tiers opinion.
But the hOstler was quite undaunted.
"That's what I said" quOth he, in q
tone slightly shaded with menace.
"Humph!" retOrted "Pimples, " con
temptuously. WAITS de good o. goin'
to church? Preachers don't know
nOthin' no more'n nobody else"
wall, they dol" defended the
hOstIer.
NAV, dey don'tl" exclaimed "Pim-
pies, quite savagely. "Dey jest don't
know nOthin' Wat do they know
about baseball, FIR instance? Dey
can't tell a bat from gOOse-egg. An
ye never see any Of 'em at sIuggin'
match, or takin' spin round de track
wild de rest o. de boys"
"That's So, affirmed a wizzen-faced
old sinner, as he joined the group.
He had but two teeth visible, and a
shattered fragment of a clay pipe
stem chung to them like a turret-shelI
on the tail of a hermit crab.
"Ye can't trust a preacher. neither,
contributed the lavender kid. Gone
of 'em caught me Openin' the jackpot
in his synagogue once, Wen I was Jest
ready to rake in the stuff. He bIOwed
on me the same as If 1 wasn't no Chris
tian, an my old man had to flash the
dust to git me off. If had a gun"
"Im no sucker" interrupted the
hOstl6r, in a decided tone. Il know
all about religion. I used to drive a
hearse and see ministers at every
funeral 1 went to. They can tell you
mOren five minutes than's in the hull
Clipper Almanac You big-mOuthed
dudes haven't any sense. You make
me tired" And the quite disgruntled
hOstler began to work the pump handle
with excessive vigOr.
"YOu gentl'm'n hasn't seen as much
as L have, piped in the man with the
dental ruins. Il got religion Oncet way
back in the forties. These minister
fellers IL tell We all about hell and a
lot of other furrin' places, an make ye
as skittish as a spring colt. A man
can't live only just Oncet, and If he
don't put in full time he's a burned
fool. That's all I have to say"
can you're right, too, guv'nOr, as
scented the landscape artist, as he put
the finishing touches on a model OF a
crevasse in a Louisiana levee. "Talk
about hell! I've seen more hell in one
night than any minister has in life
time"
"Beecher said there amt no hell no
more, F" commented one of the gang.
well, he was right, too. A Teller d
ought ter have another chance Wen he
curls up his toes" remarked "Pim-
pies"
"Damme eff he hadn't oughter."
"BOb IngersOll's too big for We,
though" discoursed the learned pos
SCISSOR of the picturesque incisOrs.
Wat he don't know about hell amt
worth known. No danger for US poor
devils when big bugs like him ain t
skeered. Beecher was all solid.
though" he fastened to add, as
though to show his moral sympathy
with the late divine. "Mark my words,
boys! The feIlers Wat go in an en-
Joy themselves amt gOin' to miss their
slice of the heavenly pie. You jest
wait an see.
Reckon we'll halter" solilOquized
the individual with the parabolic legs.
81 say, gents, interposed ''Pimples, 80
"deres a truck full o. beer unloadin' at
de corner. Let's step over and loosen.
"Yaas; we Oughter spring once after
all this yawpin'" observed Lavender"
And it was this cheering suggestion
that terminated the exchange of relig-
iOus opinions for the time being.