The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-28
BRIGHT BITS.

LIGHT RAIN will do, if it is only heavy enough
to come down.-Ne10 Orleans PcdDune.
The man who expects to see himself as others
see him puts on green glasses and looks at him
self in the mirror.-Neoo Orleans Picdyune.
AFTER ALL, the old-fashioned meter by moon
light is about the only one that has stood the
test OF time and the experts Boston Herald
GUs-I say. Jack, have you ever noticed what
beautiful figure tho GushinSton has?
Jack-No never met her at the seashore.--
The Epoch.
MISTRESS Bridget why do you break that
the box?
Bridget-Faith, mum, to make it lasht the
longer. Two pieces will lasht longer than wan {;
they kape each other cold.-Nel0 York Sur
''WHY, John, =" said his wife impatiently, as
she opened the door and found him still in bed,
you promised faithfully last night that you
would get up in time to go to church with me ~
81 meant in time for evening SERVICE" ex-
planned John, turning over luxuriOusly.- The
Epoch.
FATHER-My son, you should take lesson
from the poultry.
Fresh Son-I do, father
IF you did, you would be up earlier in the
morning than You are"
But don't the hens always lay in the morn
ing, fatherY'-Yo1She Statesman.
ToM-Dick. want you to know Mr.. Lunkers
from Paris
DlCK-IrOllu 10 Know YOU, MT. LlIQkerS
Waiter, open bottle of yellow label.
Tom-From Paris, Me.
Dick-Er-e waiter, make that order three
red-eye WHISTLES with pepper.-Judqe.
PARsoN CUsEIoNPoUNDER I noticed that
Brother Blaclsheep slept through the entire
sermon this morning.
Elder Yokefellow. encouragingly-O, we'll
that's Blacksheep He isn't afraid of anything
l knew him in the army, and saw him lie down
and sleep under the guns at Vicksburg He'd
sleep ii you hollered ten times louder'n you do
-Burdette.
you should refuse to marry that rich and agree
able young man, Mr.. Bingby, and then consent
TO become the wife of person like Quimby
why can't you 2?
'Mr. Bingby is polished and educated, while
Mr. Quimby, to say the least. is"
THE finest first baseman ever saw, and that
settles itP'-LincOln Journal.
"HAvE you a very stylish young girl you could
recommend me?" said gentleman in an EN-
ployment bureau
Excuse me, sir" replied the affable mana
ger, but do you live in the corner house?"
Yes but why do you ask?'
Because your wife was here only q moment
ago to see if we had tow-headed girl with
wart on her nose. San francisco COLL.
DR.. D1AGNosIs-Why, young fellow, you're
badly off; you have dyspepsia, your liver is tor
pid, your circulation sluggish, you are too fat
for your years, your eyes are dull and heavy;
you must take some exercise in the open air
every day. What is your busneSsY
Patient-vDistrict telegraph messenger.
DR.. D.-TNpat's what ! thought Now, YOU
must get out of doors and walk little every
day, or you'll die, doctors or no doctors.-Bur-
dette.
A GENTLEMAN who is visiting town for a few
days carried to heather Chinee'' of laundry
procivies bundle of linen which he wished
to have washed within a short time. The
waSherman took the package and promised
that it should be ready on Tuesday evening.
| The stranger was unable to call on Tuesday, but
on Wednesday ne presented himself and asked
for his linen, only to be told that it was not
ready
''Notready, he returned, impatiently 'Why.
you promised to have it ready last night"
yes" the Chinaman answered with a smile
as chidke and bland rs his language was un-
reproduceabe in print, but you didn't come
after ii last night. Boston COirier