The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1888-05-05
VARITIES.

1t is singular that in the regular semi
annual black list published by the rail-
road officials of those who loan or sell
their passes no names appear this time
but those of clergymen, judges and
legislators, the very men who of all
persons should not be guilty of such acts.
(hy.) Gdzette.
An unique sign attracts attention to the
show case in front of ST. l. ,uis chirop.
odist's office. The letters are made of
corns. The periods between the words
are represented by bunions that are huge
enough to almost send chill to the per-
sou who was ever unlucky enough to be
tortured by their species.
Lady (entering editors sanctum)-I
should like to find out, Sir. something
about the condition of the poor in this
town.
E litor-Well, ma'am. at present we
are well supplied with potatoes aud cord
wood, but new pair of trousers or a
spring overcoat would be quite acceptable.
-Burlingtoh Free Press.
A Cleveland gentleman, who has just
returned from Florid., says that things
down there are very pleasant, but that
even Florida has its drawbacks. 81
stopped at one of the hotels from Saturday
night until Monday morning." he said,
land was handed a bill for $50. Take
that back, young man. l said, and tell
them at the desk that am worth more
than that / was considerably chagriued
over the fact that the hotel proprietor
had limited my earthly possession to $50
Do you see that man across the street?
Mark him we'll, my son. Three years ago
he drew a prize of $50 in lottery. He
was a happy, industrious man before he
won that prize. 1t ruined him. He has
sunk every dollar he could borrow, beg,
or earn since that luckless day in that
same lottery. Look at him now. Note
the hungry look in his eye. He has only
one object in life. He wants to draw the
capital prize. He is lottery maniac. II
you ever feel any symptoms of his disease
coming over you, my boy, get down on
your knees and pray for deliverance and
then hunt this man up and take another
good look at Chicago 7riguae.
One of the familiar faces at the Navy
Department in Washington has been that
of l. ndsey Muse, an ancient colored man
who has stood guard at the door of the
Secretaries of the Navy since 1928. He
came into the service of the Government
with the administration of John Quincy
Adams, when Samuel )uthard was Sec
retary of the Navy, and has been on duty
ever since. He approximates his age at
eighty years. OF late he has been grow
ing feeble, and about ten days ago he
caught cold that settled into rheuma-
tism aud forced him to leave his post and
stay at home. 1t is no. expected that he
will ever resume his station at the S.cre-
tary's door.
A few days ago Boston lady was in
formed by her servant girl that box of
flowers had been left at the door for her.
Being occupied at the time, the lady told
the servant to open the box, sprinkle the
flowers with water and put them on the
ice, adding that she would attend to them
when she went down to tea. The box
really contained new spring hat which
had been ordered, but was forgotten at
the time the servant reported the arrival.
Only the flowers were to be seen when
the box was opened. The servant followed
her orders explicitly, ana the. flowers
we're 50 thoroughly drenched that from
perfect love of hat" it became limp
and worthless mass of discolored ribbons
and straw.-B0StOn IracelIer.
j tmes Payn, the novelist, is editor of
the "Coruhill Magazine, published in
London. Next door to his office medical
journal has its sauctum. One day, the
New York World relates. Mr.. Payu's
door was cautiously opened and a pale
faced, long-haired individual entered. 81
have brought a little thing about sarcoma
and carcinoma" said the visitor. Very
sorry, sir" said Payn, politely, but we
have all the poetry we want" "This
isn't poetry!' exclaimed the writer, in as
IL is an essay for the
journal on two varieties of tumor." ooh,
/ beg your pardon, "said the editor. II
thought they were a pair of Italian
lovers" The long haired man was a we'll
known professor who had entered the
wrong office.