New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1888-07-25
The Democratic woodchuck Hunt.

The explanation the boy gave for digging
so Zealousy at woodchuck hole, that the
minister was coming to dinner and the family
was out of meat, has been used to give point
to good many arguments. 1t was never
used with more effect, however, than it can
be to illustrate the embarrassing situation
the Democratic organs have been in since the
Republican presidential nomination was
made. The need of campaign ''meat" was
apparent as soon as the telegraph announced
the composition of the ticket, and a hot hunt
was at once begun in every Democratic news
paper office for any sign Of Woodchuck.
The record of General Harrison on the
Chinese question appeared to offer the best
prospect of finding woodchuck, and, accord
ingly, the famished Democrats went for that
woodchuck hole with a zeal that put to
shame the boy whose household was out of
meat. Spades, shovels, picks and muck
,rakes were hastily seized and a concerted at
tack begun. For time the fresh earth few
merrily and the workers were encouraged by
what they thought was a whisk of the wood
@chuck's tail or a CLEAN of a pair offerret-like
eyes. But no woodchuck could be found
and they were growing weary when
they heard a merry laugh from over the
Rocky mountains and a voice say: "Ho
woodchuck in that hole, boys. We're entire
Ily satisfied with Harrisons record No use
digging any longer"
So the excavation around the Chinese
Aperture was hastily abandoned and the
whole woodchucks hunting crowd rushed
pell-mell for another whole which s. Jealous
Democrat with muck rake had uncovered
This time the woodchuck was going to
be the record Harrison made during the la
Dor strikes of 1886. 1t was decided to pro-
coed more deliberately, as the tracks around
the hole looked fresh, and success with
proper caution appeared certain.
After learnedly discussing just how wood
chucks dug their holes and in what direction
this one had probably burrowed, they sta
toned frisky editor at the mouth with
bag and begun to dig. But only three
shovelsful of ground had been throwup when
they heard a loud "haloo," and, looking I'D. Z
there stood Joe Mcdonald with both
elbows resting on the top rail of the fence
and O hand on each side of his mouth
'There ism t any woodchuck in that hole,''
he shouted, land if there was it would be
Just as much a Democratic Woodchuck as a
Republican woodchuck. For / stood by Ben
Harrison in the labor troubles of 1886 and
approve everything he did. /"
With weary and Disguised air the Demo-
cratic hunters turned away from their latest
search and as there We're no more wood
chuch holes in sight, they sat down under a
tree to rest. They are sitting there still, con-
templating ruefully their bistered hands, and
wiping the perspiration from their brows
with English made bandanas. They are
aware that election is coming just as certain
" as the minister was coming to the boys
house but what the Democratic family is go
ing to do for meat they don't know. There
is only one piece of advice that can be given
them and that is this: When you dig for
woodchuck, don't dig at last years wood
chuck holes Philadelphia Press.