The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1888-03-21
SRlC-A-BRAC.

What to expect in bonnets-Women.
Never allow your domestic animals to be
teased or ill-treated.
The sluggardis told to so to the ant, but
he generally goes to his uncle.
Epicures still hold that good raw oysters
do not require any condlment.
If you want to know whata sliding scale
is try to handle wet fish.
What part of the turkey might summon
the guests to dinner? The drumsticks.
At the close of the last fiscal year there
were 406, ,007 pensioners on the pension roll
Of the government
A man who is naturally genius can
conduct himself in such a manner that he
may be considered chump.
A man is good deal like a fog-horn,
after all, and when things look dark and
gloomy, he is apt to go off on toot.
We knew it would come at last. A
Young man recently died from the too fre-
quent use of a brass mouth organ. This is
a terrible warning.
"'Lizzie, did the doctor propose to you
today?" ''No mamma; he only asked if
you would live with me after l got
married"
The chewing-gum habit is said to have
become quite common among Congress
men, some Of whom should beware of
overtaxing their jaws.
What mainly puzzles the small boy when
he begins to study politics is this: "How
j. - L. th,t 1,o
been elected President?
The spirit of Captain Kidd lately told
medium that he buried no treasure at all.
He said be intended to, but he paid a
plumbers billin fit of Observation-Disclosures.
Whatever you may be sure of, be sure at
least of this, that you are dreadfully like
other people. Human nature has much
greater genius for sameness than for origin
ality.
'sMy errand here tonight" said a young
lawyer to damsel on whom he had called,
reminds me of the cry of an owl. In
deed" said the maiden; "what is. your
errand here tonight?' "Courtship. To
wit, to WOO"
The girl who was the most constant in
her attendance at the sewing circle where
clothes were made for the heather, is now
the wife of the man who has to sew on his
own buttons.
When man offers you cigar, and then
hesitates in deep thought, don't think that
he is philosophizing. He is simply trying
to recollect which side of his vest contains
the gift cigars.
A young man who had habitually smoked
about forty cigarettes day has been pro-
nounced an idiot by a circuit court in Ken
lucky. What's the use of going into court
to settle so simple question as that?
The only certain indication or profitable
COW is to see that she gives large mess of
rich milk. All other points may fail, but
this one is an infallibie mark of good
cow.
He with emotion) Now, dearest, that
you have accepted my proposal, let US seal
it with kiss. She Gn business tone)-
What's the use? Your bid has been ac-
cepted, and there is no need of sealed pro-
posals.
One of the most unreasonable things in
friendship is to be mad with friend be-
cause be is not mad with man you are
mad with There are people who actually
feel pain while hating, and they should
never be asked to hate.
A young man need not wait for great
opportunities in order to use great efforts.
he can pitch right in and try to make
good man of himself. In most cases that
will be found to be quite heavy job.
There are times when a man should not
give up his seat in street car to even a
lame woman. That time is when twelve
men are packed like sardines on one side
of the car, and four women have spread
themselves to take up every inch of room
on the other.
It is astonishing to observe how few peo-
pie understand the common rules of meas
urement in purchasing wearing apparel.
For instance, man will buy coat that is
size" too small or too large. A "size"
smaller or "size" larger is what he proba-
bly, needs, but he does not know what a
s'size" is. Well, "size' in a coat is an
inch. size in underware is two inches, a
size in a sock is one inch, in collar half an
inch, in shirt half an inch, in shoes one
sixth of an inch, pants one inch, gloves
one-fourth of an inch, and in hats one
eighth of an inch. Very few purchasers
ever understand the schedule named.