davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1888-04-28

THAT story about how drummer
kissed Emma Abbott on the arm smacks
of the improbable. What has drum.
mer to do with arms. anyway
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1888-04-28
In the new directory of Baltimore,
Md, appear the names of 1.090 John.
sons 921 Jonescs and Its Smiths.

FERDINAND OF Bulgaria is not big
man. but II begins to look as though he
would eventually overturn the peace Of
Europe.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1888-04-28

Tho times will Improve when tobogganiug
IL over, said Jones' slows thstf'' asked
Smith. "wclL NO won't see 80 many people
goiuR down hiil then.'.- Bestes Cowrisrs
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1888-04-28

A cold snsp 10 to plumbers soft snsn--
Nss Nesss Essa
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1888-04-28

the pig and the other pay the costs Alto
gether, In COSTS and attorneys fees, the pig
has cost the two men 81, $50
Mrs Merritt Trimble, Mrs. George r. Can
field. Miss Ellen Collins, Mss Helen Iscliu.
Mrs Henri E. Peliew, Mrs. Everett P. Wheeler
and other New York ladies are raising q
scholarship fund of 5000 whose interest
shall be used to paw the collere expenses Of
the New York woman who each year shall
pass the best examination for entrance to
Harvard.
The princess OF Wales is again suffering
from an attack of deafness She is now com
PEELED to use an ear trumpet, necessity
VII 'ch she very unwillngly submits to- The
king OF Greece. the princess Of Wales brother,
Is troubled with like deafness, although the
kings case Is worse. Tt has been said of him
that he could not hear cannon roar without
an ear trumpet.
At the seven hundredth performance Of
sErminie" in the New York Casino last week,
every box and seat were taken and the jam
packed all OF the available Standing room.
The Sun says: GAN the principals had new
songs, and IN the ballroom scene thirty
dickle birds In gilded cages chirpcd an
accompaniment to Wilson's song. Handsome
souvenirs of the occasion were distributed.
Cupid has been cffectually boycotted in
Waupace, Wis. The young ladies fcreswore
accepting as escorts any young men who
drink and the Young men retaliatcd by agree
ing not to seek the society OF any yodng lady
who cannot make good bread and coffee,
broIl steak. and abstain from chewing gum,
Matters are In very strained condition and
it Is thought something must soon give away.
Rear Admiral Heneagc. the officer COM
mandiug the British Pacific station. Ia earn
ing the cpithet Of "Sir Joseph Porter" He
has forbi dden any officer or man to walk on
the poop OF the flagship while he Is there and
insists on the crew uncoverlng their heads as
long as he Is on deck. He also requires his
officers to wear wh,tc Kid gloves at divisions
on Sundays aud 10 hays their frocl coats and
snuiss huttoned On al occasions
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1888-04-28

Utt HIS up anu uutIiCO " Wv nieShoh'
The children came running to meet
s'mama'' and such sight!
'.Why. Jack. you've put Jennie
dresss onswrong side out. and MAYS
shoes not buttoned, and. oh. goodness
what dirty babyr'
Jack. couldn't you make Jennie
helpP don't you know you said sine was
big enough TO help lots; she's five you
know"
He came in carrying dish of under
done meat and fried potatoes burnt
black.
..Is that ALP she said. calmly SUR
veying the table; why didn't you have
something cold. frozen cream for In
stancep"
Here is some Lemonade" he quietly
remarked.
How did you get on with the IRON
ingP"
"Ohr" he exclaimed. as though
struck. shave you seen emp
by .'em' l suppose you mean the
clothes. How on earth did you burn
baby's gown SO badly, and your shirts.
why didn't you iron them smooth and
nicep you've always sad you could do
better than I-well. you II have to wash
and iron those things over again. that's
ALL, Then, glancing up. her eyes full
Of misch Ell, do you repente"
'-Oh, no." he replied. smiling .
rather forced smile, making her want
to take his place. "I'll get used TO II
and stick it ont the week. How doyou
like Office workr' be asked. chuckling
softly.
ut seems to agree with me. go,
ont ali the reports and found your miss.
Ing go. Ipresums sou were too much
! Interested d ---. yesterday"
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1888-12-08
WIT AND WISDOM.

The only neglected genius in this
country is the genius that neglects him
self.
Many weaknesses Of human nature
are distorted virtues.-Mail and ES-
press
-"Endeavor SO to live that when you
are yourself you will not be ashamed Of
yourself"
BE content to do the things you
can, and fret not because you can not
do every thing.
"A wink is as good as written pre-
scriptiOn to a knowing soda-water
clerk. Hotel Nail
Though a man must be sincere in
order to be great, he need not be great
in order to be sincere.
The ends must always justify the
means. II the ends are mean, it won't
justify you; leave it alone. II the end
don't pay, drop it.
I'm order to appreciate success we
must know failure, and our greatest
successes consist not in never failing
but in persistently conquering such fall
ures.
We are prone to forget what we do
know; whereas we should consider that
whatever good thing we know is only
so far good to us as it is remembered to
purpose. Richard Cecil.
Jealousy Is the meanest OF all
human passions, and fellow never
realizes 1t so forcible as he does when
he can't help being jealous away down
to his boots himself SOmerViLle Jour
nal.
False happiness is like false money.
It passes, says Pope for time as well as
the true, and serves some ordinary occa-
sions; but when it is brought to the
touch, we find the nghtness and alloy,
and feel the loss.
-Selfishness begins VII thinlin' owre
much O. ones ain duties and influences
and wee bit ways instead of living right
oot O. oneself, like the bonnie flowers
that smell sweet whether they're shifted
or NOT. -EdwGrd Garrett.
About the worst calamity that
could befall any man would be the
power to have every thing he desired
for the asking, although tothe average
mortal this condition seems the ideal
Of all possible expectation and good.
1t is very indiscreet and trouble
some ambition which cares 80 much
about fame; about what the world says
OF US; to bs always looking in the faces
Of others for approval; to be always
anxious about the effects Of what we do
or say; to be always shouting, to hear
the echo Of our own voices --LoBqtel-
IOW.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1888-12-08
OLD KAISER WILHELM.

He was Taught Economy By His MotheT
and Always Praeticed It.
''The Cosmopolitan's Memoirs" q
new book just out in London, concludes
an interesting series of anecdotes with
the following one of the best he has to
tell, and makes up for much in tho
book which is lacking alike in truth,
tact and taste, while it gives a charm-
ing picture OF the old Emperor, whose
great love for his mother remained ever
fresh to the end OF his long lifei "Is
there not something inexpressibly
touching in the following trait, almost
pathetic in its homely simplicity The
Emperor, who would allow only wax
candles in the White Hall, because they
set off the beauty and dresses of women
better than gas, burned oil lamps in his
own apartments. He had been staying
on a visit with his Marshal of the Court
Count Stolberg- -Wernigerode, and on
his return to Berlin observed to his
Aide-de-C Camp la suite, Count Lehn-
dorff, that certainly none Of his lamps
gave half as good light as other
peoples. He was told the reason Of It;
other people burned mineral oil and
he had always refused to do so. Con-
vinced at last, the Emperor allowed all
his lamps to be fitted with new burners.
and when the system Of kerosene was
inaugurated one winter day before din
ner he expressed himself vastly pleased
with the experiment, But his Joy was
short lived, for on returning to his
usual sitting room after the meal he
found it filled with a thick, pestilentlal
smoke Summoning his faithful old
valet, Engle, he demanded what it
meant. The aide-de-camps knew per-
fectly, but feigned ignorance. your
Majesty" said the old man, always
turns down the lamp when he leaves
the room, and these new-fangled things
won't be turned low without smoking. !"
well, then" said the Emperor, let the
old burners be put back again. When
we were very poor,n he added, turning
to his generals, ''and was only little
boy, my mother invariably lowered our
lamp when it was not wanted I have
always done so in remembrance Of
her, and never mean to do any thing
| else,n
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1888-12-08
oIFTs FOH EDUCATION


NArFN HNNrHfrN
u Higher Culture
Il may interest some 70 know whet q
few rich men have done for the canso
Of education. Senator Leland Stanford
has given vast estate, amounting p
go, 900, 900, to found q university IN
California il memory Of his deceased
son. Johns Hopkins gave &8.l48, o0V
10 the university which bears his name.
His gifts for benevolent purposes
amounted to fo,000,000. Asa Packer
gave ss,OOO,0OO to Lehigh University.
Cornelius Vanderbilt gave 81 600, 900 70
the Vanderbilt University, to which
William II. Vanderbilt Afterwards
added $500, 900. Stephen Girard gave
ts,OO0, 600 TO Glrard College. John G
Green and his residuary leghteea gave
81 100000 to the Princeton College
Ezra Cornell gave fis000o00 70 the
Cornell University. Isaac Rich be-
queathed the greater part Of his estate,
which was appraised at 81, zoo, 900, TO
Boston University On account Of the
great fre and shrinkage in value, and
other unfortunate circumstances, the
university will realize less than $780,
600 from this magnificent boquest.
Amasa Stone gave $500, 900 to Adelbert
College by direct gift and by bequest.
w. w. Corcoran gave $4,000 to
Columbian University in money and
land. BENJAMIN Busy gavereal estate
worth $500, 900 to Harvard University.
Samuel Williston, VIM J. Walker and
Samuel A. Hitchcock gave between
&1OO, 900 and 5000, 900 each to Amherst
College. Whitmer Phoenix gave the
bulk Of his property, amounting 70
about $640,00O, to Columbia College,
J. B. Trevor gave $4,000 to Roches-
ter Theological Seminary. Matthews
Vassar gave 100000 to Vassar Ccl7
lege. Gardner Colby gave $40, GOO to
Colby University and 100000 to New
ton Theological Seminary. J. B. Col-
gate gave $500, 600 to Madison Univer-
sity. George L Seney gave $46O, 600 to
Wesleyan University. The Crozier
family gave 100000 to CrOzier TheO-
logical Seminary. A Mr.. Clark recently
gave $1,000, 1000 for the founding Of q
university in Massachusetts to bear his
name. Henry Winlxley, Of Philadelphia.
has just bequeathed $500, 900 to several
institutions, Williams getting $50, OO0,
Amherst $50, 600, Dartmouth $50 600
and Rowdoin 800 600. II would be easy
to add to this list There are hundreds
of men and women whose splendid gifts
entitle them to be held in everlasting
remembrance. Such gifts are 50 COM
mon now that they are expected. But
If one leave out half dozen gifts OF
importance by Detroit men, nothing
has been done for Michigan University,
Detroit Free Press.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1888-12-08
erought il a New cOnundrum.

II have got conundrum," said the
visitor, timidly sitting down on the
corner of chair, "that think is new.
Why is a man who lays out new sub
division like pickles"
because he c-c-cumbers the ground"
hazarded the real-estate editor.
mo, that isn't the right answer"
Because suggested the exchange
editor, ''it makes him sour if he doesn't
ketchup with the "
mo, no; that isn't it either. Give 1t
upP Because he makes lots of acres.
SeeP Acres-achers. Spoils the teeth,
you know. Makes acres into lots
-"
And then they rose up as one man
and threw him out of the window Chi
cGgo Tribune.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1888-12-08
An Indiscreet Merchant.

81 understand that you wish to em-
ploy travelling salesman, sir" said a
young man to a merchant
'Yes; would employ any one who
suited me-"
II would like to have trial, sir"
What is your nationality"
"Both my parents were born in Ire
land, but / don't see what that can have
to do with the matter"
"You don't? Let me assure you that
it is very important. l couldn't think
of employing a salesman who belongs tc
the sell-tick race. Ha-ha! ha-ha?" and
the old man chucked himself in the
ribs and laughed all the way to the
asylum where he was taken inside oi
three hours. Merchant Traveller.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1888-12-08
RKLIoIoUs AND EDUCATIONAL.

--This Is the advice Of Dr.. John Hail
10 Theological sttidehtsi 'Ethe way To
get odt d a small place Is 10 bs very
eficientin itn
TO divert at any time a trouble
some fancy, run TO thy books. They
presently fix thee.to them, and drive dull
care from thy thoughts They always
meet thee with the same kindness. -
FWEler.
There are four great evils Of to-
day which are sapping our sociological
life. and not the least Of these is the
craze and the curse Of Incorporate, In
discriminate novel-reading. = Csristtan
al Work.
I'VE all do fade as a leaf" But
how beautiful are the fading leaves! As
the beauty Of youth fades from our
cheeks, and the beautiful form Of early
manhood bows under the weight Of
years, are we gaining in moral beauty
and increasing in spiritual strength
United Presbyterian.
Every one needs to have two facts
strongly impressed upon his mind. The
first is the reality OF divine, spiritual,
invisible and future things, so that they
will affect him as real. The second is
the supreme authority Of the Bible in
giving us the knowledge OF these things,
IN y IideDendeuL
Upward OF 100000 OF the youths
Of India are to-day receiving liberal
English education. For the most part
1t is purely secular. The spread o.
Western knowledge is opening the
flood-gates Of infdelity, OF non-religion
leaving the people in a state not only
creedless, but Goddess.
Many a man prays. Lord, In
crease my faith" when, In fact, more
faith than he has would be dead waste
in his possession. II he found use for
his present measure OF faith, more faith
would come to him through the using
Of this As It is, his prayer ought tC
be, Lord, stir me up to make some
good use of the little faith / have. y
S. S. Times.
What we are doing for the children
to-day, we are doing for the Nation to
morrow. This is the teachers field o.
work, and 1t is a grand one. Let the
politician work upon the grown-up mer
all he may; he can do little, after all
that is, in improving them mentally
and morally. They have passed the
plastic stage. But there is hope in the
children. Those who would do gooC
to humanity will be most successful
who take the children by the hand
The teacher is the true state-builder.- :
The School Journal
Zone mans food is another's poi
son." is a saying long admitted to b.
true as regards the body. 1t is more
decidedly true as regards the mind
The books which are healthy food fol
one intellect may prove ruinous to an
other. They who prescribe courses O
reading for relatives or friends are
generally disappointed in the result
Perhaps no better plan for the educa
ton Of boy can be adopted than that
suggested by DIR. johnson: "Teach hin
to read and turn him loose in promis
cuOus library"
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1888-12-08
AMERICAN FABLEs.

THn fEY AED THE srAEEsKAM

WM. WIN > AAUAaAa
fffE fLY AHD THE STATESMAN.
Once upon d 1ime. as q Statesman
Was writing out d great speech On the
Tariff Questions d Fly began Bazzing
about his head and faee ii Most An.
noying Manner, and this was kept up
90 long that the Statesman finally lost
his patience and INDUCED ins some Forci-
Bile Language.
'.Ahl but who would Believe that q
Great Man like you would be put out by
Little Insect like meT' sneered the
fly.
"It's your smallness that So Provokes
me, replied the Statesman. ''lf you
were an Ok or a Horse ! would suffer
no Ridicule by losing my Temper and
Driving you Away. Let me give way
and Fight Fly and everybody would
laugh at me"
MORAL; Ward Strikers can safely In
suit and Malign Congressional Nomi'
nees.
The question having arisen. why
do We EatP" the Parrot Challenged the
Owl to Discussion and left the Decis-
ion to the Serpent, The Parrot went
back several thousand years TO Prove
that Adam Ate and was obliged to Eat
and that all Men who came after hin
had been Obliged to eat, and used NJ
the best part Of two hours in drawing
comparisons, Making Deductions ant
Clinching his Points. When he finally
sat down wet with Perspiration, bu
Flattered by his own Arguments, th'
Serpent asked the Owl 30 begin.
Gentlemen, said the Bird, as h
slowly arose, II have only word Il
say. 1t is my opinion that we Eat be
cause we were Built that way"
The Serpent promptly Decided tina
the Owl had the best Of it, and whel
the Parrot raised a howl over it th'
Fox chuched him under the wing an'
said:
''Blab is a good thing, but Brevity
and Common Sense most always hit
jury"
MORAL: If some Lawyers wer,
Dumb they would Double their Patron
age.
THE NAIL AND THE HAMMER.
A Nail which was About to be DriveI
into a Board complained to the Ham
mer:
"Ah! but have you no FeelingsP Be
hold how straight and smooth ant
handsome am, and then think Of tn
Fate to which you would consign mel!
"My friend" replied the Hammer
as he made ready to Drive, ''as Mai
lying about loose you will be kicke
Aside by all, and in short time Rus
would deprive you of your Strength
and Beauty. AS Nail helping to hol
this Board to the House you have
Mission and are Depended ON
MORAL: An Idle Man is of No Ac
count, even to Himself. ."-Detroit Ere
|
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1888-12-08
L AppeaIed to Us Taste.

"My husband" said she, never
seems to appreciate the presents I make
him, like dressing gowns, slippers, foot
rests, monogram handkerchiefs, and
other nice articles
MAY be he doesn't believe in the
principle of making gifts" consolingly
remarked friend.
"Oh, yes. he does," was the earnest
reply; ''now when his brother-in~law
gave him basket OF demijohns, full OF
old stuff, he never got over talking
about tbat-it seemed to appeal di-
rectly to his taste. - Chicago Globe.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1888-12-08
uNwIsE KINDNESS.
Uncomfortable Habits That Have Been
Relegatod to the Past.

Uncomfortable Habits That Have Been
Relegatod to the Past.
The uncomfortable habit Of pressing
guests to eat has happily relegated to
past ages. It is assumed, and very
properly, that guest is not, or ought
not to be, afraid to eat as much as he
wants; so, while every thing on the
table should be handed to him, he
should not be urged to eat this, that, or
the other. The idea Of a propriety of
pressing guests to eat or drink evil
dently had its origin in a more print
tive state of society, and in times when
social gatherings were not so numerous
as now. Perhaps, indeed, it first took
its rise in the early colonial days, when
dainties-indeed, when the necessaries
Of ife-often were but scanty, and the
guests abstinence betokened due con-
sideration for his hosts larder and ex-
chequer. The regular society habitue
OF these days goes too constantly into
the gay world to stand in the slightest
awe OF his hostess, or of any one else,
and is quite to be trusted to look after
his own interests. Another custom in
which we have improved on the way Of
our forefathers, is that of allowing each
person to pay for himself, when an in
formal party is made up to attend the
theater or any other place Of amuse-
ment OF course this is not the case
with a formal party to the opera or
theater, where the invitation comes
from one person, who buys and pays
for all the tickets himself. But the
theory that lady is never to pay her
way under any circumstances is now,
fortunately for her independence Of
character, an exploded one. Christian
at Work.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1888-12-08
BEHIND rHE MASK


Behind the mask-the smiling face
Is often full Of woe,
And sorrow treads q restless pace
Where wealth and beauty 60.
Behind the mask who knows the care
That grim and silent rests,
And all the burdens each may bear
Within their secret breasti
Behind the mask-who knows the tears
That from the heart arise,
And in the weary hight ofyears
How many pass with sighsl
Behind the mask-who knows the strain
That each life may endure,
And all the grief and countless pain
That wealth can never curei
Behind the mask--We never know
How many troubles hide
And withithe world and fashion's show
Some spectre walks beside.
Behind the mask-some future day,
When oil shall be made plain
Our burdens then will pass away,
And count for each his gain.
Alice D, AbelI, IN Good H0ttsskeepiNg.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1888-12-08

Fifty years ago the United States
was the home Of a large number Of pc
culiar wild animals. Unless a National
preserve comes to the rescue very soon.
another decade will SEQ them nearly ell
extinct The grizzlies are disappearing
from the Rockies. A live buffalo is
now worth from $500 to $1,000. which
three years ago cost scarcely one-ffth
that amount, and they are found almost
nowhere but in corner Of Texas and
in the Yellowstone Park. The caribou
has been hunted almost out Of existence
The mountain sheep, the moose the
beaver. the antelope. are ail disappear
Ing.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1888-12-08
A vsrv Fair lin wedding.

First Chappie-What dye think OF
the wedding. old man?
Second Chappie-Aw-vewy fair for
a tin wedding.
First Chappie-Tin weddingP Why.
what do you refer TOP
Second Chappie The groom's motive
In marrying -hawl hawl-America.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1888-12-08

IAN experienced fisherman al tho
seaside told q gentleman not long since
that he did not believe a lobster was f &
eating for any one Il summer Heszld
the only time 70 cat lobster was il isll
and winten
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1888-12-08

"A Boston clork, after having spent
several hours getting stove in readi-
ness for use. discovered to his great
disgust that he had passed the pipe be.
tween the rounds Of long ladder which
Aa v5sa.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1888-12-08

Character, like porcelain ware.
must be painted before il Is glazed.
Therec can be no change Of color after 1t
It is burned in.--Bacher.
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1888-12-08

The elopement Of North Bergen,
N j., woman with an employe Of her
husbands had can extraordinary OUT
come. The pair were arrested upon a
warrant sworn out by the husband, and
in court the wife handed over 5000
which she had distracted from her hus-
bands safe Immediately before fleeing,
whereupon the husband offered to sell
her to her new admirer for $50 The
money was paid and the couple depart
ed, taking train forPhiladeIphia-
Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1888-12-08

you would be surprised" " said
certain physician, ITO see how strong
men weaken under the simple process
Of vaccination. I have had railroad
engineers and robust machinists faint
away while receiving the few slight
scratches on the arm incident to vac
cination, while delicate women never
murmur."