Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1888-08-09
A FLYING "TRIP.

~N's ~sSs "SeAB Jus VIC AAdu Sct tAAcI
for the following bad and pesky res
sons
We were somewhat late for the tram
owing, 50 says Mrs. \. Y. A., To m,
inborD carelessaess, but claim con
trscted the habit abou; the same tim
my wife became the posses or Of
marriage certificate.
Mrs. Acker was hustling arount
putting on her duds. when she hap.
pened. to think she wanted pair o
gloves which had been left upstairs
and / must scoot upstairs and get the
desired hand-squee2ers.
The goIng-up Was hot as long IN be.
ing accomplished ~ the construction
OF the Washington monument, but the
downward notion Scissors and shears
Wash t that expedited But hard.
ly think came down easy. And now
that ! come 10 reflect over the matter
know did not. No, stree, didn't
came down hard, very, very hard,
on the floor at the bottom OF the stairs,
and there | sat investigating the lump
on the rear of my Uranium, the abra.
sion Oh my elbow, and-and-but III
not enumerate J received a souve.
MIR from each step out four of the
stairs.
The hnal object upon which /
bumped was my hat, and. being what
is commonly designated as stove.
pipe, of course it was ruined beyond
the slightest possibility Of resurrec.
tion.
Before serenity reigned again the
hsckman had nearly worn out the
clapper of the door bell trying to make
the Acker family understand that it
was time to adjourn the debating So
ciety.
We shook things up lively, and, &C
companied by hat out OF the rag bag,
tumbled into the hack, and ratified
away to the depot, where we arrived
just in time to catch on the rear plat
form as the train was moving ont.
Mrs. Acker scrambled up first, and
took some seconds at it, and left me
grasping the rail, making frantic ef-
forts to keep up with the accelerated
motion of the car, while about every
rod | would slap down one foot upon
the ground with the force of sledge
hammer, with the seeming result of
driving my heel mp through the spinal
column. and taking nr lodging in the
nape OF my NECK.
Thus ! went bravely ON emulating
the antics Of the mythical flying eater
OF sauerkraut
Hi, whooh Go In. old flying ma
chine, I'll bet on yer, yelled an ur.
chin who was standing beside the
track, while mongrel cur came tear.
ing, yelping out, thinking my coat
tails We're flock OF geese, which he
vas in duty bound to frighten off
The ears at length gained such head
way that my feet only V touched the
ground once In every three and nine
rods, my hair was letting go my scalp,
aud ! hreathed by Jerks, when the
brakeman came out, and hauled me
upon the platform.
Just after had succeeded IN re-
gaining my breath, out rushed the
conductor. followed by Mrs Acker.
The conductor shouted
Are you this woman husband :?
I'll be dod shivered if am not /,
that is, what there is left of me.
We'll, then, geim'e your tickets.
Haven't got any. ! have Just been
hauled on this gosh slammed car with
ont time to say Jack Robinson. Jet
alone buying tickets
Then I must have the money.
! l showed my hand in my pocket,
I and pulled ont nv KEYS.
In my hurry | had left my purse
at home. | Jumped upon my feet, and
stared at Brass buttons, who said,-
Come, come. tickets or money
Well, darn my looks, If I've got
either, ] exclaimed.
Then you must get of at the next
station.
! What shrieked IN amazement
you presume 10 pretend that you ar
going to put me of this train-me
Nimble Yankee Acker ESQ.
Yes
Great Scott Why. sir, m a wri
ter-on author, sir !
Don't know yon. Come down will
the money o. of you 90.
'Jsha but
Come; the money. l haven't tim