davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Decorah-posten., 1888-02-08
Decprab Dg Smeglt.
Zen 7oe Sebrnar 1888.
~genepiet.Somc."

"geneoiets 6pme."
Den 8elsisrenbebs sgniialt, ri bar
uneer bette Ndpu Der | Bpen, er blot
Ell timber aioelins al ben | 0es Woines,
builfeu bog psIaa er fommeu iifanb peo
Mrs. 8eneoicts utratielise Gnftrensels
fer % OpofreiIer. "Siemmet" | Soceb'
ftaeen bar nnberitpttelie al Staten. %
for at ppnaa bette osiaa for Stiftelien
Der, Dor bun nplis paret nebe % isst
at paapirie 9esislaturen, 8i oil baabe,
at ct iaaSant Soretasence iom benbes
msber 8elpiaie / ben loosipenbe Gors
iamlins; Der bebsues ingen ~itorarteoe
GUNNER, men liben, iom benbes 8irfs
icmbeb fan ipnes, mebfsrer ben bog
fore 8eiuitater; ben er en- 8eliisnelie
Saminnbet, % bensReffepibbe er itbrre,
END Strange tror. De ulpffslise Biser,
Der tpr berben, os iom eders for metnes
ltelise Zine piloe bore saaet belt till
srunbe, | bet Minbite mango al Dem, be
finoer Der ct friitelist Siem, iulbt at
Taalmobisheb. 6ielpiomhee. 9arm.
b~jertisbeb 90 DpOirelie, os be saar ue
berfra flosere, uiiere, ps, iom man faar
baube, mere subbensiuue / i'm Sfjebne
enb fsr. Set Spnbens 8arn, be Der
bar fpbt, er oa blepet anbrast paa en-
betrpsseubs Maabe bos en- eIer anben
brau 6amilie, iOm oens cset, ps for
Woberen er Der altiaa MI Inlebnins til
paanp at gao inb / en- eller anben 9ips>
filling, bpOr be bprefiebte G~rfarinser
fan bore en- spb Stotte at tase neb paa
8eien.
Seq bar oppe | "8enebicts Sume"
for ct Sar 9ose iioen, iammeu meb en-
nurlf barnlps Samilie, Munb % &pne.
De snifebe fig ct Barn ps bar fomre
mere END 100 Mile bprte berfra for at
faa fig en- liben Gut, ipm funbe bliue
iom beres eser. 8i beiegte Mrs. 8enes
bict, os bet iaa Ri moi itrar, at, bar
0osen itabt til at bore Beitprerinbe al
ct iaabant "Siem", ba matte bet bore
benoe. gift iaa bjemlist, iaa rent, pent
% rplist, iaa uenlist % ppmuntrenbe,
iaa lpit. ia leg fan sierne iise liplist;
benbes 8aien fsrer bet meb Zig % ies
trpr aft bette er~ nsbpenbist / ct iaabant
Diem ii9r Der, bppr boert bebpet8 9relle
buffer iaa mesen SOrs, @remmelie, Bit
terbeb Os Sefpmrins. Mten Mrs. 8ene>
bict fibcer psiaa ince ueb en- GOD Slump
Of %aluurlis 9ipserfarins, % Glt, bet
@ne meb bet Nnbet, fommer Der BELT no
til lin Ref, o9 BUN bar rieeIi9 NnDenz
oelie for ben.
% iaa be beilise Smaaunser, Tom
beres ino, for at "~2pitbanenbe" fan
p9lse aft Barn. Binlis bar / Sanos
beb Situatipner for ben, ipm Der tunbe
laie en- bel 2ipsbiiturie, ia iaa siennems
isrselis, for buert 8arn, Der iputes
frem. men be ftDre. rene 5mileube Wine
be iatte paa be fremmebe @ieiter, be
siorbe Gn suSt, % soot sisr bet osiaa,
for bier Gang man Ter, at Der fommer
ct inilt, fierlist, barnelpit s@stepar
berben os taser meb fig ct af bisie
"ulfplbise" 8srn us faffer bisie biem-
Isle Stafler ct blipenbe Steb, bppr be
fan uppore / 1ust % Serrens 5urmas
ming. l..
Decorah-posten., 1888-02-08
Mnertisfc memter.
Sdtter % Motn
oper aac 0remojer.
On ttmoerbolonins I pelais,,.,
Cteuteo. enat
SfoIen, tom Sen bar
80 Var toen. Ia'
Urcoaa Den 1Ooe Ecbruo,
StcDerS Gau.

The Womans Relief Corps. osHi,.r,.
G.. A. r., giuer 6reong Gfteu ben 1oS. I. = 2
en- MISUNDERSTANDING / Stepers OSsrys
% bet bebBpes bel life at sisres itg,rs "
itrenselier, for at 9niet ital blipe opsrir a.
enb at meooele fslsenoe 9rosram l7'0'
life Scene: gleperne paa 8eien til s,,,..
Sormiboass- Stolen
Gang: 80 Come, Come Away"
Recitations by classes.
Tableau Noon recess.
SreOas eftermibbass gusli,,
Sang Of belle Sfolen.
REGULATIONS, Destinations % Conn.
tons.
gleuerne er fl9bt ium / aamle goo, i
man oil ba. iprn MI, BABE Nnleonino II
the tardy boy, the bad boy, the dirtv
the crying girl % the smart girl. VI
Decorah-posten., 1888-02-08
N0rm ttIialaS

biltst ps paa 9unfti9e B%etingelier. 800
Icres uom9rfet 5armingslanb az Wlil fra
Briitol, Safota. 100 Ncres opoprfet, apoe
Bpsninser os NOT al 8ano % Sp.
Mbresie: &. 6. Gaze,
22.8. Brifiol, 9ap 60, SIS
Decorah-posten., 1888-02-08
IOertisicincntcr.
YrepDerltnQ puifeS.

gn Serre, 20 Var, gnlter at torreippn0ere
meo nnse Btser | ben Senii9t at finoe en-
3insleoia9erirbe. Snsen uoen be, Der me
ner Nlpor, bebsper at ifriue, ba iea ielp sjpr
bet. BortrGtter bptteS; be fan ienbeS til.
bage, bpis iaa gnifes. ollie Brepe beIpares.
MDresle: Bor 16, @aubdn,
22.2. Ton @p. .. 8.
Decorah-posten., 1888-02-08
S37.5OO

uobetaltes forrise Nar til Weblemmer Of
"N. W. w. gnootument Societp". Spis bi
pnlter at faa $500 eler $1,000, faar gu ino.
9aar | Wgteifab. bBr bu itrar iloaaa / benue
Sprering. NorIfe girful9rer, Blanfetter
% Gapportsr ienoes frit til bpemiombelft.
Norssie g.. S~atprenee.
Dor S46 minneapolis. Wi1u.
Decorah-posten., 1888-02-08

Soneefontoret er 40 g. &inaie ctr.
ep'ca9o, holoes aabent til &L. 8 GItermiSs
Dag. Suletter irlses boa ale Qinier.
v. YRortenien q Go.
Decorah-posten., 1888-02-08

tilialss paa gernab Bros See gepe RsIe |
Sseorab og Evergreen WBIe | st. Qtfinion.
20.4.
Decorah-posten., 1888-02-08

y~dsfa9erer paa Sbtnapaaalin.
lanof 8eiieieiftab.
Stfterbeo, .Befpemmelisbeb % Surtia.
geo er 5oroele, iom Sbinspadalinieu tilbrs
Decorah-posten., 1888-02-08

8u,Ss, q
70. o. 5uib|
70, . 80
Lard 5000
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1888-08-11
River View for 1888
ALExANDRIANs' MOST popULAR nEsoR
STEAMERS.
STEAMER ]. W. THOMPSON.

SUMMER AND WINTER SCHEDULE FOR
1883 AND 1889,
Commencing Monday, June 20, 1883.
First-class Soc. Seconded 35c
Steamer JOHN w. THOMPSON MONDAY,
WEDNESDAY and FRIDAY at a. m from
Reeds wharf. Alexandria, for RIVER LAND
INGS. Returning Tuesday Thursday and Satur.
day mornings, making all river landings.
For charter each day except Monday, Wednes-
day and Friday. For further information apply
to F. A. REED & CO., Agents,
je21 If Alexandria, Va.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1888-08-11
ALEXANDRIA. VA. SATURDAY EVENING AUGUST H. 1888
AIex:aljllldlria 90 0a;*setter.
PUBLBRKD DAILY AND TRE ERRKKLY By
EDGAR SNOWDEN,

At Tie Gase.te BaildinQ, $40 and 312 Prince
OAILY TRE KKEKLY
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1888-08-11
Death of a Confederate Spy

A Memphis special says: Mrs. Fanny
Ada Scott, q woman with history was found
dead In her room in boarding house this
morning. She had succumbed to chloroform,
which che had been in the habit Of taking to
get relief from neuralgia. She came to
Memphis six years ago, and since that time
had gained scanty livelihood by sewing.
On more than one occasion when utterly
destitute she was urged to apply to the au
thorities for assistance, but refused, saying
that all she asked of charity was decent
funeral when the death that she craved
should come. Her maiden name was Fanny
Anna Sparks. Her father was General
Sparks, prior to the war man of wealth
and high social position He was at one
time connected with the New Orleans press
and the reputed author of that touching
poem of the war, "Somebody's Darling"
Her first husband was Augustus A.
Fowlkes, of New Orleans, from whom
she married General Thomas NJ. Scott, who
commanded the Twelfth Louisiana regiment
during the war. He died three years later.
Among Mrs. Scott's effects were found
number letters from persons of distinction
in the Confederacy, including Jefferson
Davis and Joseph e. Johnston. 1t appears
that Miss Sparks must have been Confed-
crate spy, as mention is made of her being
imprisoned by the Federals in Vicksburg
and New Orleans during the war. Some
time before her death she told an acquaint-
ance that che had papers of great historical
value which che proposed selling to the
Government, but during her absence from
home one day this person stole the docu-
ments and Mrs. Scott could not recover
them. From what she let fall in conyersa-
ton these papers would throw 8 lig BIT on
some of the dark passages of the war in the
West and deeply concern leading Command
era on both sides.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1888-08-11
Science on the Weather.

De past few weeks is been so hot
Our house amt fit to live in
Pears like de shade sint thick enough
Fur cool air to be given
Ole Uncle Ephraim cum one day
To talk about do weather;
(You knows de talk is mighty larned
When We two gifts together.)
He ssy'd he amt felt no sech heat
In all his livelong days;
And he's mighty ole man now,
But that's just what he says.
He says there ANT but one way left
To lower the temper G-tur,
And he don't know but what that way
Don't jest agree with natur.
But still he thinks that anything
Is ia ar and squar to beat her,
An instrument he's gwine to use
he hears folks call "ther.me.ter."
He knows that Mr.. Joshua Lee,
And Mrs. Chester use em,
And which one is de coolest one
He hears 'em try to choose 'em.
Says l, What does you spose dey cost ~
Says he, "Oh, bout quarter"
Says !, "Tll git one right away"
Says he, 81 think you'd orter"
With that I hitched my ole roam hoss,
And drove to Ashtown store.
Says I. ~ want some thometers,
/ think I'd best take four"
Bekase, as I said afterwards
To Martha, as told her,
If ons will make de weather COOL
Why four will make it colder"
And den quired of de clerk
How should I operate em,
And asked him all about de pints
he quickly did relate 'em.
tux ON home and hung EN- up;
De fust one in de shed;
De second one towards de south,
Where most de heat we dread.
De third hung upon de pourch,
And to make dis thing complete
hung de fsth towards de no th
To gyusrd sginst de heat.
Wall, den sot right down, and grinned,
In easy rockin' cheer,
And says, says I, II don't expect
No more hot weather yere."
II guess I'll dream tonight, says l,
About de snow, and winter.
1t somehow don't feel cooler yit,
1t ort to, soon begin ter"
1t mought 'er been right warm before,
But now it jest got hot,
Twere like 8 oven everywhere,
And mare breezy spot.
Dem thometers dey jumped about
All round de hunderd pint,
And each one says unto hisself
II wont be left behint.
Wall, sech night as thst ar night
I'll never feel again;
Jest sot up and use fan,
And tried to think Of rain
De tust thing that done mex nay
Was ter pull dem critters down;
And drapped all four into dc well,
And dar I let 'em drown.
I amt NO more dan done dis thing,
When coolin rain Gums by,
And we didn't hab no moro hot days
AS can testify.
At
No matter what der objicks
I amt got nothin' more to do
Wild scientific sobjecks.
Yours truly,
ELI HILLoN.
Sandy Springs, Nd, Aug. 10,
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1888-08-11

WT a. JOHNSON & CO.,
WHOLESALE GROCERS,
GENERAL COMMISSION MERCHANTS,
And Dealers in
ALL KINDS OF LIQUORS,
Have on hand GIBSUN'S Xxx, Xxx, xxx,
and PURE OLD RYE, OLD CABINET and
MONOGRAM WHISKIES; also BAKERS ana
THOMPS0N'S PURE RYE WHISTLES, to which
they invite the attention OF the trade.
Orders from the country for merchandise ahall
receive prompt attention.
Corsignmonts of Flour, Grain and Country Pro-
duce solicited, for which they guarantee the high
sst market prices and prompt returns.
Northeast corner Of Cameron and Royal streets
sepl4 Alexandria. Va.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1888-08-11

IN BBLs NEW HoMINY and HoAINY GRITs
lC just received by -
no723 J.O. M1LBURN.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1888-08-11
Syrup of Figs

Is Natures own true laxative. 1t is the
most easily taken, and the most effective
remedy known to Cleanse the System when
Bilious or Costive; to dispel Headaches,
Colds, and Fevers; to Cure Habitual Con-
stipstion, Indigestion, Piles, etc. Manufac-
tured only by the California Fig Syrup Com.
pany, San Francisco, Cal. z. 8. Leadbeater
& Bro, agents Alexandria, Va.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1888-08-11
LEGAL.

MOTICE-Notice is hereby given that on the
IN first day Of the September term, 1888, of the
Corporation Court Of Alexandria, Virginia, the
MOUNT VERNON RAILROAD COMPANY will
apply to said Court to appoint five dsinterested
freeholders, who, or any three or more of whom,
shall constitute board tu ascertain just COM
pensation to the owners of land upon the line Of
improvement within the said corporation for such
Of the said lands as are proposed to be taken by
said company for its purposes.
By order of the Board of Directors of said COM
pany ANDREW JAMESON,
jy25 w4w President.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1888-08-11

I, John S. Beach, Clerk of the Corporation Court
of the city Of Alexandra, do certify that George
a. Mushbsch, commissioner of sale in the above
named cause, has executed the bond required by
law, with good security.
JOHN 8. BEACH, Clerk.
iy26 w4w By ]. T. CALLAHAN, D. G.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1888-08-11
CONFECTIoNERs.
SUMMER AT BRENGLES.

The old, reliable CONFECTIONERY OF HEN
BY BRENGLE, No. 531 King street. is ready,
and will supply GUNNER delicacies the season
through Each berry and fruit served with Cream
of varied hayors at the lowest price and as good
as ever
He offers special inducements at wholesale to
Dealers and packs carefully for country custom.
Ornamental and Plain Cakes are sold cheap
er than they can be manufactured at home.
Also Cream Pufs, Tsrts and Pastry, Candies and
Taffy of all kinds. PIES A SPECIALITY. Fruits,
Nuts, Confectoneries, Caromels and Sugared
Fruits He caters for families, fairs, balls and
entertainments and furnishes social parties Of
the best and at the lowest rates. my12
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1888-08-11

ALEXANDRIA, VA, Fob 1855
i INGTON AND OHIO RAILROAD COM
PANY.
Take notice that acting under decree of tho
Circuit Court of the city of Richmond, entered
February 9th, 1885, will be prepared on and
after Thursday, February 9th, at my Office No.
3O6 Prince street, to pay to those entitled the
fourth dividend upon their bonds. Persons claim.
ing dividends must produce bonds or tho special
commissioner receipt therefor.
CHARLES Z. STUART,
feb13 tt Special Commissioner.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1888-08-11
AUCTION SALES.
By B. T. Lucas, Auctioneer.

NRUsTEE's SALE OF THE WORKS AND
i PROPERTY OF THE ARLINGTON BRICK
| MACHINE COMPANY.
BY virtue of deed Of trust executed by the
Arlington Brick Machine Company on the 9th
aay OF February, 1888, and recorded in deed
UIok NO ~ one OF the land records of the city of
Alexandria, Va, and by authority Of a decree of
the Corporation Court of the said city entered on
the SOth day of July, 1883, in the chancery cause
OF w. &. Smoot & Co. vs.. the Arlington Brick
Machine Co. ct als pending in the said court, and
by the direction of the party secured by the said
deed OF trust, tho undersigned, trustee, will sell
at public auction. on the premises of the said Ar
hngton Brick Machine Co., in the said city of
Alexandria, Va. at the outlet lock of the Alexan-
dria Canal, upon the Potomac river, on TIL URs-
DAY, August 23d, 1883, at 12 o'clock m the
following property, viz:
TRUCKS, CARS, ENGINE and BOILER. HACK
BOARDS, REPRESSERS, MOULDs, TOOLS.
Betting, SHAFTING, LUMBER, IRON, IRON
RA1LS, and all other property OF the said COM
pany, except the brick, burnt snd unburnt
And at the same time and place will be sold the
INTEREST OF THE SAID COMPANY IN AND
TO A CERTAIN LEASE executed by the Alexan-
dria Canal, Railroad and Bridge Company to c. NJ
Shelley, bearing date on the 18th day of May,
1856, and duly recorded in deed book No. 1S, one
OF the land records of the city OF Alexandria Va
Terms oil Sale: For cash as to so much Of the
proceeds as may be necessary to defrsy the ex-
peEses OF executing this trust and to discharge
the amount of money payable upon the note So
cured by the said deed of trust and if there be any
residue of the purchase money tho same shall be
payable at such time and secured in such manner
as the said Arlington Brick Machine Company or
its representative assigns shall prescribe er di-
rect and in case of their failure so to do at the
time of sale, at such time and in such manner as
the undersigned shall then prescribe
aug3 rs A. w. ARMSTRONG, Trustee
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1888-08-11

GPECIAL NOTICE-We wish to call attention
y to our RETAIL DEPARTMENT for 1888
We will pay special attention to the wants Of our
patrons, and offer them the latest productions of
foreign and domestic factories at prices to suit the
times. We have in stock at present everything to
be found iu FIRST GLASS CHINA and GLASS
WARE STORE. We will be glad to order any
thing that We may not have, and would invite
careful inspection of our stock before making
purchase in our line. Very respectfully,
mh17 E.J MILLER & SON.
nONiT BUY YOU'D SUPPLY OF FRUIT JARS
~ Until you have examined the
"WOODB URY'' IMPROVED.
The following merits are claimed for the Wood
bury"
LIST. Perfect preservation OF contents.
I'd. Simplicity in opening and closing.
Sd. The handsomest fruit Jar in the market.
We will be glad to send cuts and recommends
tions upon application to the manufacturers
agents. (jy7 1ml E.J. MILLER & SON.
CMALL HAMS, Missouri brand, z to 10 pounds
y each. For sale by
aug5 MIrBURN.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1888-08-11

CHEEP DIP, Sage, Ground Sage, Diamond
= DIVES, Fitche's Pocket Scales, Hoods Sarsapa-
rilla, Warmers kidney and Liver Cure, Browne
Iron Bitters, Volna Cordial, Pratt's Astral OIL
and Sweet Maioram-a large supply just received
dcc1 E. s. LEADBEATER & BRO.
The morning news., 1888-10-16

out if hadn't showed the step ladder under
h S stomach and saved him from being a
total loSs to his owners. He sighed CRATE
fully and then he reached round and bit her
foot persuasively She took the hint and
slid OF onto the ground. was going to re-
ceive her in my arms but my wife sprang
forward and begged me not TO leave her
alone in the world. Afterwards | looked at
the place where the old lady's heels struck
the pavement, and put up silent prayer of
thankfulness for my preservation. Ny
wife's mother turned angrily to the stable
boy and wanted to know what he meant by
sending round such horse as that He re-
piled with some aSperity that tue only
horse that could hold her had gone out to
move a barn; and he advised her to go take
a ride on load of hay. Meanwhile the
thin man had assured her of his sympathy
and had gone round TO the stable to get a
buggy. He came back with it presently
and my wife's mother got in. | saw them
drive away, and l never saw a buggy so
lopsided and out of shape as that one was
The thin man lowered into the air but the
springs under my wifes mother were
jammed up so fiat that the body scraped on
the axle. Just before they started | ap-
preached the thin man and asked him if he
was going to elope with her He said t at
there was minister III the next block, and
if the horse held out that far he would tly
to fix up a ceremony. | told him TO make
it if he could aud l would square it with
The morning news., 1888-10-16

HIS BACK BOWED IN GRADUALLY.
It's that way always with women. They
exercise took violently. 1t too her nearly a
week to get over the shock and during that
time she gained four pounds.
IL was not many days after this that my
wife's mother announced her intention Of
trying horseback riding in the belief that 1t
would bring weight down. / thought it
was more likely her weight would bring the
horse down. She was not dismayed by
what said on this subject, and she imme-
dlateiy took out her riding habit and let
about two breadths into its front and back.
Then she shook few reefs out of the sleeves
and said she thought that with my wife's
help she could get into it. The thin man
appeared in the afternoon mounted on a
morse and leading another. l compared the
dimensions of the animal with those of my
wlfe's mother and shed tears Of sympathy.
PRESENTLY she emerged from the house with
little girlish giggle, and put out her foot
ior the thin man to grasp and lift her into
the saddle. The thin man lifted till /
neard his suspenders part, but my wifes
mother did not stir. l turned aside and
smiled, while the horse looked over bis shoul-
der and laughed. My wife appeared with
short step ladder just in time
20 save the thin mans back.
When the horse saw this he shuddered.
My wife's mother assembled the steps and
sat down on the horses back. He was a
good patient horse but he could not stand
everything. His back gradually bowed IN
with creaking sound and his forelegs be-
gan to slip out in front and his hind legs
out behind. He struggled nobly, but in
another minute he would have been fattened
The morning news., 1888-10-16
Now Is the Time

To use Hodges Sarsaparilla with Iodide Of
Potash, the great purifier for the blood. A
certain cure for rheumatism, scrofulous
affections, and all diseases peculiar to fe-
males. Renovates and invigorates the sys-
TEN. Physicians recommend it. Take no
other. Rangum Root Med Co., Nashville,
Tenn. 81 per bottle Sold by Lippman
Bros, wholesale agents.
The morning news., 1888-10-16
,v w1FE,s MOTHER IN TRAINING.
Attempts to Reduce Her Weight by
Athletic Exercise and Ery Diet.
ff,o.,,r;obf 1893

Nrv yoRK. Ocr 13.-My wife's mother
;s fot Oscerwise she is a very good sort of
,,o+ber-in-law. and like to have her visit
~, because can look at her and feel 50 jolly
thankful that my wife takes after her father
in the matter of appearance If she were
fat as her mother is. know should die
.s har fatrer did. Poor MN; he has been
da7d almost ten years, and now his widow
- contemplating her second offenSe. She
is o,ojng to get married again. If she can,
hut she is very anxious to reduce her adj
,,osity list. She wants 80 get down to
fghfing weight for the great fight
to,a-fnish called matrimony.
Nv wifes mother is good liver, and one
who likes to take a glass of wine with her
annie repast, but recently she has heard of
a dnet.1r named Schwineckger Tor something
.l,nos: as bad as that who has made a con-
1jierah,e reputation in Germany by per-
sundiug fat pe3rle not to drink anything
,or even water---at meal times. My wite's
mother is IL ying it. keep telling her that
lie late Dr. Tanners idea not to eat any,
thing at meal times knocks Schwineckger' s
oil hollow as a means of reducing flesh, and
have offered to hire hall if she'll try it for
one month. but she calls me a heartless
hr1te. There may be something in Schwin-
eckger's idea after all l have heard that
lovers grow thin with longing, and if that
is SC. my wifes mother will lose great deal
of flesh. The way she will sit at the table
and long for the ciaret decanter while the
roof of her mouth gets so dry that | can
hear the plate which holds her store teeth
in cracking and warping is calculated to
fill the eyes of DR.. Schwineckger with tears
of remorse, and at the same time to pull the
old lady down ten pounds day. No doubt
it would if she could stand it long enough.
but every other meal she weakens and takes
a drink of something. | can tell when the
dry seasons are over She develops a ten
dency to hang her tongue out; her eyes
take on CLASSY and sepulchral stare; her
fingers get nervous, and thea, all of a sud
den, she grabs the teapot aud drinks out of
the nose of it SO hard that the bottom drops
in. Then she apologies to us all; says a
few impolite things about Dr. Schwineck-
ger, and promises my wife new teapot.
Next day, however, she has another attack
and gets dryer and dryer as dinner pro-
gresses 1t isn't every man whose mother
in-law will dry up" thus voluntarily.
During her periodical fits of drought she
accuses my wife and me of putting tempt +
tions in her way because we persist in hav-
ing things to drink on our table. She seems
to think that we all ought to 60 into the
thinning process together, but if she ex-
poets mo to join her she hasn't studied my
anatomy Alright. Pm so thin now that a
drop of perspiration from the back of nv
neck will trickle down all four sides of me
1T once.