The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-03-03
A WATERS TRIALS.
Spectator.

had probably never eaten HI EcSV@u- rant in their lives.
 Waiter-"Have you ordered, la dies?"
 First Lady-"Well. no, I don't know what want. Do you, Sally?" Second Lady-"Let me see" 1 GA pause.)
 First Lady (reading)-"Vegetable soup. Is that made of vegetables" | Waiter-"Yes; will you take soupf" First Lady Continues readingl- "Here's roast beef, roast mutton. roast pork, roast veal--O, yes, and here's 1 fish-white fish. Do you like fish, Sally?"
 Second Lady-"Yes, like it very we'll (perusing bill of fare.) Well, if they ain't got baked beans. get all them want at home"
 First Lady-''I do too. How much is ice cream?"
 Waiter-"Fifteen cents. Win you have ice cream?"
 First Lady (resding)-" 'Corned beet, ribs of beef with brown pota- toes'-I bet that's good-'green peas, string beans'-O, like string beans, don't you, Sally?"
 Second LadS-"Yes, l do; but there's sliced tomatoes and new stewed potatoes"
 First Lady-"IIow much is porter house steak?"
 Waiter-"Forty-tive cents.'
 First La6y-.'Oh,my! Ain't that awful, l couldn't afford to eat in a restaurant very often. Could you, Sally?"
 Second Lady-"My, no (reading) :; cracked wheat with milk, oatneal'- Oh, don't know what l want"
 First Lady-"I don't either (read- ing). 'Three up.' Whats that! Any thing like seven up?"
 Waiter-"Those are butter cakes. ;" First Lady-"W hats butter cakes?" Waiter explains.
 Second Lady-"What are you going to eat, sister,"
 First Lady-"Oh, don't know. Pm awful hungry. (Turning to waiter) Have you got coflee?"
 Waiter-"Yes. Will you have some coffee?"
 Second Lady-"No, guess Pll drink water"
 Waiter (tired waiting hat are you going to order, ladies?"
 First Lady-"Oh, don't know, Let me look over the bill again."
 GA pause.)
 First Lady-"What's fricasseed chicken?"
 Waiter explains.
 First Lady-"I don't believe want that. Have you got any fried pota- toes?"
 Waiter explains that potatoes go with all meat orders. "A pause First Lady-"What's oxtail soup?" Waiter explains.
 First Lady-"Wcll, don't want that. What kind of pie have you?"
 Waiter names seventeen kinds.
 First Lady-"Just listen, Sally. Did you everi Teli me what they are again, mister; there's so many lvc forgotten"
 Waiter sighs, shifts his weight on to the other leg, and goes over the list again.
 First Lady-"Well, don't believe want any pie"
 Waiter-"If you'll excuse me moment Pll come back directly when you have your order made out"
 "Certainly" Gin concerD.
 Then the two ladies fall to discuss ing restaurants in general, criticising everybody in range of their optics in their superficial way, and finally drift into discussion of their shop pur- chases.
 Waiter returns.
 Waiter-"IIave you made out your order, ladies?"
 Both of them laugh historically, and lady number one remarks that they had forgotten all about it. She picks up the bill again and poDdcrs over it long time in utter silence. Finally she asks:
 Don't you have regular dinner!" Waiter-"You can order a regular dinner. What do you want?"
 First Lady-"Well, hardly know what I want. What do you want, Sally"
 Second Lady-"Anything will suit me-"
 First Lady (hesitatingly)-T guess you can bring me some-rolls. Yes, and glass of water. Now, what do you want, Sally?"
 Second Lady-"I'll take the same." A hurricane of disgust breaks over the walters classic brow, and he moves of to fill the order.
 
 A domestic tariff: What are your