Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1888-11-08
FUN NEW ORLEANS COURT.
An Interesting Incident OF over Half
Century Ago.


On a certain occasion there was great
excitement IN the city. Two eminent
citizens had quarrelled about hog. 1t
was question OF the identity Of the
animal, and impossible to doubt their
good iaith. They became irritated and
more obstinate in proportion to the pro-
longatIon Of their dispute. At last it
was evident that there would be no yield
ing on either eide, and they went 10 law.
MORGAN Lislet was retained for plaintiff
and Mazureau for defendant-twoo OF the
maQnates of the bar-and fees were paid
them immensely larger than the value OF
hehOg. On the day Of trial the court room
was crowded TO suflocation, for much fun
was expected. Ii was Of course jury
case. Moreau Lislet read the petition,
in which the hog WAS infinitely described
and asserted 10 be q bloOded one, worth
$500. The answer was general denial,
putting plaintiff on full proof OF what
he alleged. IL seems there was but one
witness TO identify the hog. The wit
ness was sworn, and confirmed the de-
scrption in the petition. lie was
farmer of the parish Of st. Bernard,
about sixty years old. OF ponderous
frame. He evidently Was very little ac-
customed to the position he had been
called to. His whole face was expressive
Of primitive innocence. After this wit
ness had concluded his testimony in
favor OF tho plaintiff Moreau Lislet
said "The witness Is yours, Mr.. Ma
zureau."
Mazureau fixed on the witness his
dark imperious eyes, and said, with
affected emphasis and IN his most eiiec-
tive dramatic style "Sir, remember
that you are here on oath TO testify in a
case Of the utmost importance, although
II may appear triiling TO your simple
understanding. it is not merely hog
question it IS q question OF honor
whether one OF our most respected fell
low-citizens uniustly, unlawiully, and
fraudulently retains in his possession
property that belongs TO another L put
sou on your guard for your own sake.
You may be indicted for perjury il the
slightest wilful Inaccuracy in your oyi-
dence shows that you do not speak the
truth. the whole truth. and nothing but
the truth. Resides, you may DO sued
Tor damages IN consequence OF the III
jury you may do to the defendants re-
puiatiOn.
"Now," continued Mazureau, 81
compliment you, Sir, on your minute
description OF the PLAINTIFF hog, which
is missing from his pen. l Will not
cross-examine you on tie subject. L am
full of admiration for your memory, and
I wsnt You TO be equally particular
about defendants hog. 1t won't do to
say in general terms that they are ex-
actly alike" At this point the implaca-
bic tormenter began 70 punctule and
scarify the witness, much TO the merri-
meut of the bystanders. "What do
you know Of hogs Whence your ex-
traordinary faculty to discriminate
among them, and so wildly to remem-
Der their respective physiognomy ? How
long have you lived with them? What
opportunity had you to examine the de-
PENDANTS hog and the peculiarly Of its
formation? Have you measured its
ears, its tail, its legs, its nose, tho
length and height OF its body? l want
10 know whether in all these details the
defendants hog is exactly like the plain
tn S missing one.
All these questions and many others
had been successfully put to tue witness,
who had been driven almost b the verge
OF desperation. At last, being made
conscious by the incessant bursts OF
laughter from the audience that he was
an obiec. OF ridicule. he exhibited symp-
toms OF marked irritation. 1t exploded
when Mazureau said 20 him: "Well, sir,
al these details are very confused and
unreliable. Give us the tout ensemble
OF the hog. Group all these details to-
gether, aud tell US bow the entire hog
exactly looked"
The witness measured Mazureau from
head to foot slowly and deliberately, and
said "You want Jac simile Of de-
PENDANTS hog ?"
"Yes. sir.
"You want the Court. the jury. and
the whole audience 10 know how the ami
NAL looks, altogether, from its nose TO its
tail, and from its tail TO its feet?"
"Yes, sir; you fully comprehend my
meaning and desire.
"Wel. sir, that hog looks exactly like
YOU, aud both you and the hog could
not DO more alike If you we're twins"
There was a roar of laughter in the
audience, but this time at the expense Of
Mazureau. The Judge himself, the ju-
rors, the members of the bar. and all
other persons present were eonyulsed
with laughter.
Mazureau calmly waited for the resto-
ration of order. Then he blandly said
10 the witness "If l understand you
correctly the most accurate description
YOU can give this court and jury OF de-
iendant's hog is his being so like me that
you could not tell one from the other "
"Yes, sir" daggedly answered the
witness, who was much encouraged by
the effect he had produced on the audi
ence.
al thank you, sir, for the precision OF
your language. l have no more cues