The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1888-12-06
MISCELLANEOUS.


finitely better than the ordinary cod.
English temperance societies de-
light in such bizarre names as The
Sons of the Phoenix" .sThe Brethren
of the Cockatrice" and The Royal
Antideluvian Order of Buffaloes.n
Sitting Bull says: "Soon we shall
not have enough ground to stretch our
tepees and rest our limbs. We shall
have to pay taxes and be poor and
ragged like the palefaces.
What is termed startling de-
parture in the line of horse trading" is
reported from Fall River, where citi-
zen who had mare for sale STATED
frankly that her disposition is SO sour
that she hates herself, and that he
would recommend the creature to no
body unaccustomed to horses"
An Andalusian grandee was boast
ing to Prince Esterhazy, the great
Hungarian millionaire, that he had on
his various estates in Spain no less
than fifty thousand sheep. 'Ah, in
deedp' said the Prince. swell, that's
curious coincidence, for that happens
to be just the number of my shepherds. "
-Harper's Young People.
AT recent parachute exhibition
In Quincy areonaut Baldwin fell 1000
feet before the parachute opened. To
better appreciate the awful velocity of
such a heart-sinking drop it should be
noted that his hat, which was knocked
off as he cast loose, was left behind
800 feet, though it passed him after the
parachute finally opened.
Translated from the French: Tell
me. )" he said to the doctor, tell me
frankly, is there any hopep" Eyes.
sir; great deal. The statistics show
that one out OF every hundred affected
with your disease RECEIVERS" "Wellpn
"You are the hundredth have treated
for the malady, and did not cure one
of the ninety-nine others. "-St. Louis
Magazine.
"A French chef prided himself on
having an knack of making an omelette
in which could be noticed, among
other savory things, most delicate
flavor of onions. 1t was, however, such
mere suspicion of flavor that his
master begged one day to be informed
how the dish was compounded. Said
the cook: 30, that is simple, monsieur;
after I've mixed the omelette / eat q
small piece of onion and breathe into
the dish. Pittsburgh Dispatch.
The late Rev. William Jay, of Bath,
and Andrew Fuller were driving
together, when bird flew across the
road and so frightened the horse that he
ran away. Having got home without in
jury they were talking over the matter:
Brother" said Mr.. Fuller, ..that was
very awkward, disagreeable bird; it
was like jap.' NO." was the re-
joinder, lit was fuller in the neck, ful-
Ter in the body, and fuller all over"
The bird in reality, as they both knew,
was an owl.
He was married man, and his
wife was the head of the household.
He had friend who was in the same
case, only his friend was apparently
happy and comfortable. while he was
just the reverse. He had long studied
this peculiar difference between them,
and finally he mustered up courage to
go to his friend and ask him: s'What
is the way to be happy" he asked,
t'when you are under a woman's
thumbp" don't squirm. "-LesDiston
Journal.
Farmer Cat country schooD -"Be
you the teacherp" Eyes, SIR" $50 il
was you that thumped the tar outen my
boy Tom last nightp" az did punish
an unruly scholar" Punish! Wal.
should say so. You stamped on him
and slugged him an ended by kickin
him clear across the school yard. Ii
that correctP" "Pretty near" s.Let
me shake hands with you. I have tc
admire man who can knock out nv
son Tom, for I'll be hanged If lucan dc
it. "-Nebraska State Journal.
"A woman with patent button
fastener, has been doing the towns in
Eastern Washington, says the Seattle
Post Istelltgencer. Walking quickly
up to staid old gent on the street she
will dexterously clip a button from his
coat before he let's loose of the idea
that she is going to hug him, and when
he expostulates she produces her but.
ton fastener and instantly replaces the
button, tight and solid. OF course he
buys a box of the fasteners, and the
lady seeks another victim to practice
her arts upon.
When you see a man carrying q
book bearing on the cover the title
''Great Expectations, or "Our Mutua
Friend don't rush to the conclusion
that he is going to read Dickens. Many
of the dainty volumes so labelled are
hollow, except that they contain half
pint whisky flask. By touching 1
spring the mouth of the flask springs
into view, all ready for a '.nip." 81
popular are these TASKS that Cham
bers street firm offers them for sal,
under the name of Temperance Bool
Flasks. ~ T. Tribune.