Wichita eagle., 1888-05-16
HACKENSACK'S HOTEL.

ms financial condlClOn seemed IN no respect
an enviable one.
In the first place his total available capital
consisted of exactly sixty-three cents in cash,
which jingled conspicuously III his capacious
pockets whenever his hand happened to be at
liberty, and four trunks containing personal
property of questionable value. Then he
had family TO support, consisting of a
blooming Mrs. Hackensack and five young
Hackensacks in various stages of childhood
up to Il years, all Of whom possessed appe-
titles in first class order
The morning was cold one, and Mr..
Hackensack had some difficulty in finding
accommodations for his family within the
city limits, not that the inhabitants were so
numerous, but tho houses were so few
There was no hotel at Oak City, and the lady
proprietor of the railroad boarding house at
first refused to take in the Hackensacks, even
for day, without payment IN advance The
sight of four ample trunks, however, finally
overcame her caution, and the family were
allowed to install themselves in scantily
furnished back room on the second floor of
her establishment
In a very short time Mr.. Hackensack,
whiStling cheerily, was seen on his way
around town carrying a supply Of small
bills, hammer and tacks, for the purpose of
posting in every available place the startling
announcement that the Celebrated and
Only North and South American Speciality
and Novelty Consolidation" would give one
of their ''ref1ned, chaste and incomparably
grand entertainments" at the city hall on
that evening.
Now" said Mr. Hackensacb, confidently,
TO his wife, 81 think this town is good for $50
tonight, and that will take US to the next
stand i'll fine shape"
''But suppose we don't draw here" sug-
gested Mrs. Hackensack, sitting forlornly on
her trunk
Draw echoed the head of the family.
"We shall draw. The whole town is
aroused They are suffering here for amuse-
ment. There hasn't been show of any kind
since the circus last summer The house will
be packed; take my word for it,"
The house, however, was not packed. The
consolidation" consisting wholly of the
Hackensack family, including the ''Infant
Prodigy played to, in theatrical parlance,
the sum of $3.50. The rent Of the hall was
S., which the cautious owner deducted from
the receipts, 81 at a time, as the people came
in; the local musician, who olficiated at the
piano, claimed 81, but finally compromised
on receipt of fifty cents; the draynan who
hauled the baggage from the station charged
like sum, but was also forced to accept half
a dollar. The proprietor of the "consolida-
lion" returned to the boarding house with
the remainder of the receipts rafting dis
mally in his trousers pocket.
The Hacllensacks, however, slept as soundly
as usual, being people Of a philosophic turn
of mind. The following morning Mr.. Hack
ensack rendered his landlady 81 in small
change.
lowing TO unforeseen circumstances" he
remarked, politely, IT am unable to iquidate
The remaining two-thirds of my account at
the present time"
"You mean to say that you can't pay me
but 81 for ell them children has et?" cried
the indignant widow. well, not one Of
them four trunks goes out of this house to-
day.
THAT is a very proper thing to say,
madam" replied Mr. Hackensack, serenely.
fThere is really no reason why the trunks
should go out today-in fact, the trunks need
not go till we do"
The landlady was for a moment speeches.
with astonishment When sufficiently re-
covered she sarcastically inquired how long
he expected to stay at her first class boarding
house.
''Most unfortunately, madam, the time of
my departure is exceedingly uncertain, like
everything else in this uncertain world"
began her guest, amiably, and then he pro-
ceeded to expatiate upon the vicissitudes and
misfortunes of public career, and ended by
complimenting her remarkable talent in the
line of cookery, and assuring her that it
would all be paid for, take his word for it.
In lieu OF anything more tangible the
widow took his word for it, for the time.
Mr.. Hackensack spent the day in gathering
up all the bills he he'd posted, which had not
been damaged too much for future use. In
the evening he was met by his eldest son,
rapable youth of II, who seemed in q state Of
unusual excitement
Spa" he said the old woman is making
an awful fuss about Us staying here"
"Son," said Mr.. Hackensacl;, severely,
''didn't you have your supper last night!n
Eyes, pa" he admitted.
"And a bed TO sleep in!'
eyes, pa"
Sand your three meals todayg'
"Yes, pa"
'Wei, then, son, what arc you kicking
aboutin
That member of the consolidation" had no
more to say on the subject,
Several eventful days passed, then the
worthy hrs. Miners importuliVies could 10
longer be diSregarded.
The bin viii be all paid. madam, tallo my
word for iti" reiterated Mr Hackeusack, i'm
pressively.
But the landlady was opposed TO taking
his word for it, and ct the end OF q week she
complained to her cousin, the justice Of the
peace, who consulted with his friend the at
torney, and together these two digrntaries
called upon the undesirable guest and in
timated that his conduct was rot exactly in
accordance with the laws Of Nebraska.
'You are putting Mrs Mmcer to a great
deal of expense" added the justice of the
peace.
Her expense, my dear sir. is nothing com
pared 10 my loss" declared Mr hackensack
very seriously. u am losing as a day ct
the lowest estimate. All in good towns,
too"
'W-hy don't YOU go TO those townsF' asked
the attorney with the air of cross questioning
witness.
''My dear SIR replied Hackensack, ''some-
body has truly remarked that money makes
the mare go; and money = essential 10 move
even such an uneqaaled consolidation as
mine IS The consolidation has fame, but
just at tie present moment the consolidation
is without moleJ."
The justice OF he peace and the attorney
retired, pcrpIcKsd Ii notde.cated. They con
suited with The CITY o...ciaIs, who. after some |
debate, actually offered 10 pay Mr. Hacllen-
sacks board bill providing be would leave
town at cree.
s'My dear sir.n graciously said the subjec. |