Morning journal and courier., 1888-11-12
WANTS.

He-"Will you be a sister to me?" She "No, but will be your wife, darling." He -"That is not what want, dear. life
 Jones-"Good morning. Beastly morning, isn't itq' Robinson-"Horrid day. Good day" "Good day."-Philadelphi Record,
 Mir. Rider-"Been to the races, ,Toms" Tom -"Yep" MT. Rider-'tDid you come out aheada' Tom-"No, afoot. "-Washington Post.
 chairs arel" Maid-"Yis, mim; there's mo- body sat on thim to-day, im."-Town Topics.
 Easily Explained. d.-Rosalie Qeaning pen, sively over the raiD-"I suppose, MT. Danks, this is what you call dead calm" Danks-
 'sYes, it must be; see there's a wake."-
 Boston Post.
 Poseyboy-DeSmith, between you and me,
 Miss Travis is charming girl.
 DeSmith Yes, but I'd rather have your room than your company under the circum- stances.-Burltngton Free Press.
 ssRiohes take unto themselves wings and fly
 away" said the teacher. "What kind of riches is meant?" And the smart boy at the foot of the class said he "reckoned they must be ostriches. ."-Ameriean Poultry Yard. Superintendent-O O'Hooligan, you are charged with having been drunk and ri- otous while on duty after midnight. O'Hooligan-It's 6 loi, sor, and kin prove | an allyby. Sure an was aslape at the toime. -Philadelphia Times. The Bazar is informed of the very appro- l priate selection of an orgsnist at recent | church wedding. AS soon as the happy pair l had been pronounced man and wife the or ganist played f'She never will be missed, \ she never will be miss ed. ."-Harper's Bazar. Edith-So you and Tom were finally mar ried, Nell?
 Nell-Yes, but we're not happy.
 Edith-Whst Not happy9 Why, how's | thatt
 NelI-We didn't marry each other.-Har- per's Bazar.
 Popinjay-Pd lend you an umbrella to | take home to night, Dempsey, but the fact | is haven't anything but 6 borrowed um- brella in the house, and you know a man hates to lend other peoples property. (The | umbrella was one which Popinjsy had "bor- rowed" from Dempsey about year before. )- l Free Press.
 An earnest old colored clergyman soliciting contributions from his congregation for a proposed college one Sunday morning said: | 1T know, brudders en sisters, dat dis yer col- | lege won't do you en me no pertickler good, | but just stop en think of the good it'll do our predecessors that come after us; think of
 thatl"-Youths Companion. The young child of MT. c. E. Cronberg of Conticooke few days ago swallowed 8 fish
 hook. which was concealed in the centre of a | candy popcorn ball, which he was eating. Fortunately there was no fatal result. Mir. | Cronberg states that he bought three of | these balls and that hook was found in
 each. They are placed there, 1t is said, as a l surprise for the consumer.-Montreal Witt ness.
 Mrs. Duquesne-"I suppose you sing or plays" Miss Newcomer-"Oh, no. Pm not at all musical" Mrs. Duquesne-'You re- cite, probablys" Miss Newcomer-"Oh, no indeed" Mrs. Duquesne-"Well, then, ] suppose you paint placquesa" Miss New | eomer-fMe paint! I couldn't paint g
 fence" Mrs. Duquesne-teagerly)e )e"Oh, | you dear girl, how lovely! You must prom ise to come to every one of my receptions. | You'll be such @ sensation. n."-Pittsburg Bull | latin