Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-10-03
UNCLE BILLS BARGAIN.
How He Made Mighty Sharp Shop-Keeper
Do the Fair Thing.

'Bill wuz old Jedge Hiram Cadwell's
Oldest boy-you recollect the Cadwell's
used to live on the road near the
cemetery. Old ledge Caldwell was
about ez shif'less man ez ever see,
but Bill he'd great bizness head
calc'late he must hev inherited it from
his mother, who come of the finest
stock in Hampshire County. When he
wuz boy, Bill wuz always tradin' an
swapin', an s'pose he started out in
life with more jack-knives than'd stock
store. An Bill preserved in man
hood all them talents which he ex-
hibited in youth. Whenever you meet
a man at looked ez if he'd been run
through sieve you'd feel mighty safe
in bettin' that he'd been havin bizness
dealin's with Bill Caldwell.
lone day Bill came into Eastman's
store an allowed as how he's be power
full glad to git knittin' needle. His
wife wanted one he said.
MIR CALDWELL SEE Eastman, "a
knittin' needle will cost you jest one
cent.
'Bill looked kind Nv surprised like,
and SEE: 'Knittin' needles must hev
gone up sence / come in fur one last
winter
i" Wall, SEE Eastman, after payin'
freight nd one thing md another,
can't afford to let knittin' needles go
fur less'n a cent apiece.
''Bill didn't say any thing for a min
nit or two, but after lookin' out Nv the
door at the scenery, he turnt round and
seq: Look here, Mr.. Eastman, I'll
tell you what I'll do; I'll trade you an
egg fur a knittin' needle.
Eastman shook his head. why
notP' SEE Bill. You don't suppose at
darned old knittin' needle is wuth ez
much ez an egg, do yep
i never heerd Nv any body payin'
freight on hens, sez Eastman; he wuz
the most sarcastic cuss in the town
ship, Eastman wuz.
No, nor I never heerd Nv feedin'
knittin' needless SEE Bill. 1T don't
cost nothin' to raise knittin' needless
"Well, Bill an Eastman argued an
argued fur more'n hour about hens
an knittin' needles an things, until at
last Eastman give in an SEE: Wall, l
s'pose might jest ez well swop ez not,
although | hate to let any body get the
advantage Nv me- So Eastman give
Bill the knittin' needle and Bill give
Eastman the egg.
''But when Bill got to the door he
turnt round an come back again an
SEE: Mr.. Eastman, amt it the Gus
tom fur you to treat when you've set
tied with customer? You an me
hev he'd our dispute, but we've come,
to settlement and an understandin'.
Seems to me it would be the handsome
thing for you to treat.
Eastman didn't see it in just that
light, but BNl hung on so an wuz so
conciliatin' that finally Eastman hand
ed out tumbler an the bottle O. Med
ford rum.
81 don't want to seem PARTICULAR
sez Bill, pourin' out half tumblerful
Nv the liquor, but | like to take my
rum with an egg in it,
''Now, this come pretty near
breakin' Eastmans heart. He he'd
laid the egg on shelf behind the
counter, an he reached for it an
handed it to Bill sayin': Wall, I'm in
for it, an there's no use Nv of kickin'
'tBill broke the egg into the rum,
and 10 an behold, it WIZ a double
yelk egg! Gosh, but Bill wuz ex-
cited!
"'Mr. Eastman SEE he, 'you'v' been
takin' an advantage over me-
"'How so? asked Mr. Eastman.
"'Why, this egg has got two yelks.'
".What Nv that?' sed Eastman.
We'll, simply this, SEE Bill, that
eff you're inclined to do the fair thing
you'll hand over another knittin'
needler "-Eugeae Field, in Chicago
NeaOs.