The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-04-10
BRIGHT BITS.

SOME young men who were bantering a good
natured fat man. said to him, IF all flesh is
grass you must be load of hay"
"Well,'' he responded, Il rather suspect am,
from the way the asses like TO nibble at me-
It'd Bits.
SOLEMN MAN-No. sir, l never fish. l think it
is decidedly wrong.
Chipinone- like to be so cruel to the
fish,
Solemn Man-No; don't mind hurting the
fish, but / think it is wrong to lie.-Tecds
Colonel.
MORTGAGES are signed by two witnesses the
same as last year and are folded so as to fit the
side coat pocket. The back taxes are combed
forward and parted the side nearest the
MORTGAGE In this climate mortgages gem
orally mature in the winter season.-Duhlth
Photographer.
JoGG-There is good deal said about womans
sphere What is it in your opinion?
Hogg-Well, / cannot say what womans
sphere really is, but have an idea what sphere
she wants.
.Jogg-Ahal What is it?
Hogg-The earth,-LoiCeH Citizen.
II Is RUMoRED that ladies of good manners
no longers kiss each other in public. For years
past we have felt that the time would come
when the woman who ached to kiss one of her
sex would beckon her out behind the corn crib
and pull IA bag over the heads of both, and now
the date is here.-DetrOu Free Press.
INCREDuLoUs MAMMA: A Young School girl
Oh, mammal Please mayn't read romances?
Lucy Jones does, and she isn't day older than
] am peeped into her book the other day
and the last two lines read And they were
married and lived happily ever afterward"
Mamma-That masnt a romance, my dear;
that was fairy tale.-Jitdge
THERE is story told of a Boston attorney
who. on the eve of being married, found it i'm
possible to reach the appointed place, and tele-
graphed for "a stay Of proceedings" the legal
phraseology of the dispatch proving that even
at such an eventful time the disciple of Black
stone and Coke could not shake off the verbal
letters of the law.-BOSt0R Budget.
l SEE" said Mr.. Granger, that the Congress
man from our District is sick. What's the mat
ter with himy"
Postmaster (who doesn't expect to stay in
long(-OverWork.
Mr. Granger-What did he do?
Independent but doomed Postmaster-Tried
to write his own speech without a Secretary
Biudette.
TRAINING TO MEET MIrcHELI4-"You shoulc:
have seen Jimmy get up and dust last night
when pa got after him, remarked Quincy
girl
Run? Well, l should smoker If he could
keep up the same gait for three hours he would
beat Charley Mitchell in prize fight. '-Peorio
Transcript.
LAWYER SNAP (of counsel for defendant. whose
case looks doubtful because the jury don't seem
to enthuse when his witnesses testify)-Are YOU
acquainted with any of the jury?
Witness ian honest man)-Yes, sir; know
more than half of them.
Lawyer 81 should think it strange, very
strange, if you didn't know more than all of
put together.
WIFE Ito second husband, who is r1Immaqing
in closet)-Don't disturb that bundle of letters
John. | wouldn't have anything happen to
them for the world.
Husband Qondly(-Oh, dear, then you didn't
burn those foolish love letters of mine after all
as you said you did
Wife-Yes, John, burned yours but these
letters are from my first husband. Epoch.
HUSBAND Ito wife)-"rve been out half the
day trying to collect money, and I'm mad
enough to break the furniture. 1t beats all how
some men will put off and put off man who
owes money and won't pay it isn't fit to asso-
ciate-"
Servant Opening the door)-"The butcher,
sorr, is down stairs with his bill"
Husband-"Tel him to call again."-Life.