Los Angeles daily herald., 1888-06-29

tion. These come in all sorts Of ways.
The following surreptitiously laid on the
Editors desk will do for starter:
CLASSIC EpIsTLE.
/ Los ANGELES, June 26, 'SS.
| EDITORS HERALD--You hreso spited against the
old Tippecanoes nomination you don't know
what to do. We gave him good send off right
and we'd az have lad 100 10000 W Il wsd @ had the
torches. Yess Harrison IS very popular In
Indiana and he Will carry itand you know it
5000 @ C II aYe sna yS 5000 V K ca L Los angeles
county will give him 5000 majority. BE is the
Wdkingmans friend, notwithstanding Your
Yon don't like him because he will lay ont that
damned Humbug Cleveland in the first Round
and don't you forget 1t. WoRKINGMAN.
In the language of the late lamented
master OF Dotheboys' Hall, "There is
richness for you"
| The next pointer comes from Demo-
cret, and was given to a reporter on the
night of the great "whoop-up," when all
hearts had been fully attuned Tor Blaine,
but were forced to change the
key from an anti Chinese to pro-
Chinese programme. This Democrat
said 1t is all well, with one exception.
Where is the proper musical instrument
Of the &. o. p. which, in the light OF
Harrison's nomination, should be de
rigueur in this year Of grace? | mean
the Chinese gong. 1t ought by all
means to be here.
The next is from a Republican source.
1t also reached the ears Of the reporter on
the night. when the programme outlined
in Hamlet was SO terribly reversed, and
instead Of the funeral baked meats coldly
| furnishing forth the wedding breakfast,
the wedding feast prepared for the Mag
netic Knight of the White Feather, was
made to do duty as the funereal baked
| hog at the Joss house where the obse-
quies of the advocate OF Chinese cheap
labor was begun. The speeches had been
made; the torches had all burned low;
the powder was all burned. The staid
decorum and pious observances so en-
tirely becoming at . glorification where
the son of one OF Cromwells Round
head Puritans was the cynosure
of all eyes was at an end. The long
haired tribe had had their day, and now
the short hairs we're out to have their
night One of the ringleaders Of this
Bourbon fluid. Well the adage was in
| hsh, get man drunk-that is Repub-
lican politician-if you want to get at the
truth. The king Of the short hairs be-
ling asked how he was pleased with the
siIk-hat icicie instead of the White
Plumed magnet, said:
A sHoRT-HAIR's VIEWS.
CD ice, and all belonging to it. Itell
you we are all d. liars. 1t just reminds
me of story. You know how Sheboygan
in Wisconsin, got its name? An old In
dian had eight girls. He wanted brave
born to his house. One more addition
came, and it was girl. The old chief
got mad and ripped out a string of pro-
fanity-in good English, of course-the
whole ending with the lamentable cry,
est. We have got just the last thing we
wanted, and we pretend we are de-
| lighted
ONLY coIIc.
One OF that sort in which the G. o. p.
abounds, stood by. He is the sort that in
daylight parades as long-hair and is
very correct, but at night puts on short
hairs mask and is ''one OF the behoys."
He had his mask on and "was going it."
He is historical in his tastes, and said:
1t reminds me more of the time when
Queen Mary. Of England, after her mar
riage with King Philip, OF Spain, thought
she was in an interesting condition and
had all the church bells rung in honor Of
the expected event. A short time passed
and the royal lady was chagrined to find
it was only an attack Of collie. That is
what we have. That muss at Chicago
is worse than abortive in its results.
THE GREAT sTRADDLER.
| 1t will be better to take Democratic
pointer next, and it will be one Of more
recent date than Monday night. One of
the unterrified says Harrison is great
man, u very great man. Nothing but
the lines in Shakespeare re;erring to
Caesar will express his gigantic pro-
portions:
He doth bestride this little world like Colossus
Just look at how he straddles from his
own millionaire standpoint to get his
patent leather boot on the platform Of the
party. The two positions are wide asun-.
der as the poles, and are perfect
| illustration OF the utter insincerity
tof the g. o. p There is .
labor plank in the platform which Mr..
Harrison tries to maintain his equilibrium
on. Now, how is he in his relations to
labor? He has always opposed it's in
terests. Was there ever an uncomfortable
pressure put on labor by any grinding
monopoly, and which caused all the un-
happy victims to resist in which Mr..
| Harrison in his patent leather boots, his
spotless shirt front, his silk hat and kid
Igloves, with his stomach full and his
bank account plethoric with monopoly
fees, did not take sides with the monopc-
lies? When did he ever restrain his
ardor from calling for brute force to sup
press a strike at the bayonet point? :?
How is he to straddle from Dan in the
monopoly interest and put the other
patent leather boot toe in line in the
Beersheba where the humble laborer has
his home.
THE CHINESE sTRADDLE.
Then there is the Chinese question. 1t
is the most utter fudge to say Harrison