The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1888-09-01
A BOOMERANG BOYCOTT.
Some Racy Extracts From Late Issue OF
the Arizona "Kicxer."

\ We ASs'S SNOAA H'AAAA@A4s3 uAiC 1Atc'SO' HtOS
ty much as we pleased since the first
number was issued has given mortal
offense to certain people in this neigh
borhood. We have been kicked, licked,
pounded, threatened, shot at and
blutfed right along, and have grown
+ fat on it.
We came to stay.
Fact is, we've got to. We haven't
any thing to go on.
Having tried all other measures to
make us let go, and having failed in
gloriously in each instance, it was de-
/ termined to boycott us in social way.
We have been chuck-a-luck with the
very cream of society since our advent.
In fact, we have been most of the
cream.
1t was decided few days ago by
syndicate of the heightened that we
must be socially snubbed and crushed.
Accordingly Mrs. Major Bazoo, of
Grizzly Nights, announced a recherche
affair and invited everybody in the set
but us. 1t was given out that she
feared our manners would disgrace the
occasion, and if they didn't our clothes
would.
We weren't saying word. We saw
fsSte bluff and went one better. On the
9ht of the party the sheriff made a
hail of three heightened prisoners at
the house of Major Bazoo, while half
dozen others broke for the woods. We
have got one great advantage over the
other creams of society. We left the
East by daylight and shook hands with
the sheriff as we started. We are
neither a bigamist, eloper, embezzler,
horse thief, jailbird or gambler. We
don't want to work this lever unless
some one jumps on our collar. We
have reduced tony society over half
since wecame here by giving the sheriff
pointers. We can run the other half
out Of town in week. Mrs Major
Bazoo hascalled to beg our pardon and
express her deep disgust with herself.
We have forgiven her, knowing it will
not happen again. AS for Judge Ca
boots, who inspired the boycott and set
the crushing machine at work, we bear
him no animosity. We will simply re-
mark that he is bigamist, incendiary,
embezzler, fOrger, perjurer and high
way robber, and we have dispatched
Pinkerton to come and get him.
WE SHAN'T WORRY.-Our amiable
and gentlemanly sheriff entered our
Office day before yesterday in his usual
urbane manner and announced that he
must serve papers on us. 1t was
notice Of a breach-of-promise suit
against us by the widow Clixby, who
alleges that We have been toying with
her heart-strings, and that it will take
$1,000 of our cash to settle her thoughts
back in the old channel.
1t is another move on the part of our
Ienemies to down us.
Wefrst met the widow Clixby twenty
! fight days ago in Carriers grocery.
She asked our opinion of behring's and
we asked hers of soap. She invited
us to call at the house and see some
poetry she had written on the rise and
fall Of the mastodon. We complied.
We called there three or four times
afterwards, but only as a friend. On
one occasion the widow showed US a
clipping from an Eastern paper to the
effect that it was better for man who
had passed the age OF twenty three to
marry a widow, if he was to marry, but
we didn't bite.
We know our gait. If the widow
Clixby can prove to the world that we
have toyed with her affections we'll
cheerfully go to jail. We are not on
the toy. The widow will find us no
jack-rabbit, and the enemies who have
encouraged this new move may hear
something drop before the trial is over.
A SAD MoOD.-Wednesday evening,
as we put on our Mother Hubbard and
sat down by the open window to get a
breath of air before retiring, a sadness
suddenly stole over us and in a few
minutes we found tears in our eyes.
; Liz query CetllO W 10 OfCL anu OFCl
and over again: ''Is life worth the
living?" and as we thought of the old
homestead-the days of boyhood-the
many graves-the changes of thirty
years-the fountains of the deep were
broken up and we wept.
Such moods do a man good. They
bring him nearer Heavens gate. We
don know whether they come from
disordered liver or the near presence OF
guardian angel, but we always feel
heap better afterwards. We no longer
feel spirit of revenge. We have nc
greed. We feel charity for all.
And as the bright beams of the har-
vest moon steal into our Office window
and throw a flood of silver light upon
the dead ads on the imposing stone
as the south wind comes signing around
the corner of Jackass Hill and whis-
pers to us the story Of household
rraves-as the whip-poor-will wakes
from his sweet sleep in the rear OF
Stevens disreputable dance house to
call to us to press onward and upward
and be not discouraged, we take down
the Office towel, wipe the falling tears