The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-10-27

pr0D2oiy not sixty shllnDgs) to pay l this prodigious account if he remain 1 honest so long, second respite is obtained, thus prevaricating from time to time, the plaintiff, like the Irish comedian, is loser by his ben- eft.
 "The police of New York isa strange mixture of inconsistencies. The streets are miserably dirty, as to them is con- signed the filth of most of the houses, and suffered to remain in all seasons, July and August excepted, and you are continually annoyed by innumera- ble hungry pigs of all sizes and com plexions, great and small beasts prowl- ing in grunting ferocity, and in them- selves so great nuisance that would arouse the indignation of any but Americans. Often has the ravenous SOW, impelled by hunger, seized the infant in the streets of Columbia's proud city, and would but for preven- tion have banqueted upon human in- nocence. The markets of New York are we'll supplied with provisions of all. kinds, which in price are far less than in the metropolis of England, and with the exception of malt liquors the votaries of the shrine of BAcchus may enjoy, for the forth part ot the sum, the glorious and exhilarating blessings of the jolly god.
 "The females of New York are straight, thin. and we'll proportioned, features regular, often very pretty, but void of animation, and in com- plexion fading lilies-no tint of the opening rose or crimson blush of the red cabbage. The males are invariably slender and extremely emaciated in appearance. Females are not taught common industry. It would degrade these gentry, ot any rank, to assist in the hay and corn field; their utility and knowledge extends no further than the manufacture ot pumpkin pie or the outlines of silly romance or ridiculous novel. The continuous use of ardent spirits from the cradle, on the part of the males, ruins the consti- tuition, for at thirty nature becomes torpid"
 After doing New York, this graphic wanderer looked about him to buy a farm. A land agent directed him to Pike county, Pennsylvania, and he started on foot across New Jersey for that region. "Having swamp or river to cross," he writes, Ion entering the town of Newark, N. J., we heard, as we supposed, these faithful moni- tors, mastiffs. and our hostess for the night being an English lady, l in- quircd if such animals were in general use-such as we had heard. This ex- cited the risible faculties of my fair countrywoman. No, sir,' she replied. these supposed tremendous dogs are bullfrogs.'"
 The wanderer got as far as Norris town, where, he says, "the respectable tavern of MT. Hayden invited us to enter and recruit our physical wants. '" Mr. Hayden suspected that the wan derer was on his way to Pike county, and upon being assured that such was the case, Che smiled sarcastically and observed, If stones and the barren waste had been our pursuit, we were certainly in the right path to find such but if there existed land, it was invisible" Whereupon the wanderer returned to New York and journeyed westward. His experiences in the west prompt him to thus inform and advise his ellow-countrymen who may visit the region:
 "One thousand guineas, and no less sum, would be indispensable, and one ton of Peruvian bark, half ton of calomel, one hogshead of castor oil, and fifty gallons of laudanum. The implements or medical working tools have prescribed cannot be omitted, as agues, bilious levers, etc., are certain, and often certain death, too, and it would be desirable that a farmer, previous to his Illinois visit, should study pharmacy and phle- botomy.
 "In the western states Virginia, Georgia, etc.), they have savage cus- tom of 'gouging,' that is, for any tri- fling offense they will not resent it in a plain and manly manner, but the wretched victim is waylaid and the knuckles are forced into the sockets of the eyes; thus the blessed orb of light is forever removed and extinguished." ]"
 Mir. Wilson treats of the climate of what he calls "the west" in a manner that might lead his countrymen to suspect it of uncertainty.
 "On the 10th of January, 1Si7," he writes, "the peach and orange trees in the neighborhood of Charleston were in blossom and bearing, and on the 18th the crew of schooner on Lake Ponchartrain, in the same district, were frozen to death! In the month of February, 1920, l was mid-leg in snow and overhead fevered with 6 burning sun!"
 His trip to the west settled Mir. Wilson, and he returned to New York l axa1 k<. AhixaL .E Errxrx,a sEa n 0