The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-30


bank On no account give il 20 any one else
Go right to the president AMI hand him this
yourself Don't let any OF the clerks take it.
Messenger Boy-Don't yer fear. Them
dudes can't fool me-
"Ehl Ever carry messages to baulfsr
Often
How do you find the PRESIDENT
Look fer the cove in the shabby suit. ~
Omaha World
Beat On"
Tell me, ye winged winds that round my pathway
soar,
Do you know some quiet spot where wives clean
house no more;
Some lone sequestered, leafy dale. some island,
ocean girt,
Where life Is not one ceaseleis war with cobwebs
and with dirt;
Where only natures carpet spreads beneath tho
tired feet,
And wretched men are ne'er compelled its EN-
erald folds to beaty
The lake breeze famed my heated face and said.
Beat on! There's no such place.
Chicago Tribune.
sympathetic Heart.
Can you help me, sirf' said "A tramp to
Chicago citizen.
We'll, dunno" replied the citizen You
look rs though you need all You can get
What brought you TO this sad plight, my
friend|
Its long story, sir I'm the first place
married a st. Louis girl, and
Say no more, say no more" interrupted
the citizen, with tears Of sympathy. Here's
five dollars for you The Epoch.
The Kind Of Bird She Meant.
The charming dlusel had no appetite;
Her health was delicate. her mother said;
Bot at the table she put ont OF sight
As much rs would have two lougshoreiuen led.
Il cat no more than would a bird. laughed She
But when she rose aud from the table went.
The landlord froEned and bit his lips said be.
Il guess an ostrich was the bird She meant"
Boston Courier
He Knew tho Ropes.
The bulk of my fortune | wish 70 be
queath to my scapegrace nephew, George
said the dying man.
why. it was oHly yesterday be called you
an old skiu2A6,' s.s.a the lawyer. I'd cut
the boy or
That's all right replied the te5tator
You make the will out the way | tell YOU
| know enough about wills 10 know that If
leave him all the money he won't get cent
OF it n--IIarper's 3azar
ont on the Fly.
The fris5y festive pesky ~
y with Us once again;
He mikes the sleepy church folks sigh
'And gives the badheads pain
say. fly,
on, SHY fTi
Did YOU not e'cr remain
In winter quarters high aud dry.
New York Journal
Plenty To DO.
Times are a tribe dull, sir he said, ad
dressing a fellow passenger
Not with me. was the reply; my bust
ness shows a gratifying increase every year.
MAY ask the nature Of your businessF
Certainly I'm the fool killer San
Francisco Wasp.
Not Hare.
"Snagsby, you are presuming upon my
You never killed one hundred
and fifty rabbits in one day"
wilkins, assure you have not deyiated
a hare from the truth. Chicago Tribune.
over the Left.
There's one man whom nobody hates,
For every one Wishe>' MIN we'll;
lis the fellow who anticipates
The joke Of the story you tell
Boston Courier.
Improving Her Memory.
Husband-No meat for dinner todayf
Why9 Didn't you telephone the butcher 10
send up that roast We agreed upon this
morningi
Wife-No, dear. I'm sorry But the fact
is. was studying my memory lesson and
forgot all about it.-Lowell Citizen
LIES Philosophy.
All. foolish boys,
Begirt by JOYS.
Ye wish that 80 we're men;
The aged sigh
We would, they cry,
That We were boys again.
Boston Budget.
All He Had Against Him.
Emaciated Tramp TO business mam-Im
a survivor Of the Mexican war, an want
you to help me little, capn
Get out o thism
Look here. cap'n. what have you got
against d survivor of the Mexican war"
"All I've got against you /. that you sur
vived y Harper's Weekly.
Sure.
AneDt the signal service,
Let US pleasantly complain
That hoisted umbrella
l. the surcst sign Of rain.
indianapolis Press.
His Inspiration.
"They say that Qumby has invented a
medicine which is having a large sale
81 can't imagine how such scheme "a
that ever occurred to him.
Neither could | until reflected that he
had once been an undertaken Nebraska
State Journal