Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1888-08-21
KMND.

Young ladies who wish to have small
mouths are kindly advised to repeat this at
frequent intervals during the day: Fanny
Finch fried ave Houndered frogs for
Frances Fowler's sfather."-Philadelphi Re-
cord.
The sweet girl graduate may be able to
quote Vigil and the works of Horace all
around her mother, but the old lady has to
spend long weary hours showing her how to
keep the bread from being heavY.-Nerchant
Traveller.
"New Is the time to lay in your fy paper ?
reads an advertisement. Yes, We know it.
We went home the other day and laid in
the sofa to rid the house of fies.-Yonkers
Statesman.
'T understand that Colonel Blear is very
wealthy" 'sWell, he's worth about $780,
O00" Chow did he make ita" che made it
out of coal OIL" .tIndeed!' eyes; his wife
lit the fire with kerosene, and he-got all her
money."-Lincoln journal.
A little miss of this city, three or four years
old, was in one of our shoe stores the other
day, and after she had been fitted shs was
asked by the salesman if she wanted them
put on. She replied: "I dess I Will wear
'em home in the box.n-Burlington Free
Press.
A patient in the Galveston hospital went
and swallowed the thermometer which was
put in his mouth to take his temperature. II
that thermometer doesn't have high old
time on the circuit when its proprietor takes
coffee and ice cream for luncheon there's no
activity in mercury; that's all.-Burdette.
Superintendent (of bobtail horse car linel-
stThs driver of No. rs ran over an old lady
to-day and broke her arm" President
t'Well, people ought to be more careful. !"
Superintendent-s'And the amount of money
| in the box indicates that he is careless about
L E., ohorv i'm
| at oncel"-Life.
| Mr.. Staggles, of StaggletownF Stranger
| "Yep" Bunco steerer-'I guess you don't
remember me; I'm Sam Waf1es, son of Will
| liam Wafies." StranRer-''Wha-ati Are
you Bill Wafaes' sont Why, Sam, I'm gosh
l burned ef amt glad to see you'll How long
you ben outfs BHnco Steer-"Been outa''
Stranger-"Yep; the only son old Bill Waf-
| hes ever had was sent up Eve years fer hoss
| stealin'. Life.
Employer -"William, you have now work.
1 ed for me three years" eyes, SIR" "And
| I have always found you industrious, pains
taking and honest.n ''I have tried to be,
sir.n CHOW, desire to show that I appre-
ciate your fidelity" "Thank you, sir >
| "Fer the next two months you will work on
the books until II o'clock every night. dc
not fear to leave you in the Office alone al
all. have great deal of confidence in you
William. Lincoln Journal.
"No," said the theater manager, "T dom
want any society fsvorites to play at my
house this season. had two last season, ,and
there wasn't the gas in the house the foul
weeks they were there"
| eyes," said the advance agent, shut thi
is different kind This one lives with he
| husband"
sGreat Scott. Why didn't you say tina
before, mani Of course I'll bill her for tw'
weeks this winter and two next spring.
we get that fact about her living with he
husband into the papers the house won't hol,
the people. I've been looking six monts TO
| drawing novelty. Boston Transcripts.
| At sea- on his yacht, with fair lady by him,
| He asked for kiss, but she chose to deny him.
Not here cried the lady, in tones full o
nirth,
Though have not the slightest objection o
EARTH -Earpers Ba1ar.