Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-07-07


women talk well and brilliantly, but they form
only one or two Isolated islands; in the foaming
sea Oh society they are exceptional
THE TALK OF SOCIETY
should not be too deep. We do not 20 back to the
days Of Pericles and Aspasia for our gossip; but
what different record OF days experience will
De made BY two minds How witty and graceful
viii tne sentiments seem which drop from one
VIII those be which drop from another 10 hear
some people talk is like hearing music In the air.
we wonder whence came those phrases, those in
genoas epithets, those all-comprehending words.
mixture OF good-natured satire (nOt OF people
put OF deeds), with natural hopefulnesS makes
sxn amusing taker; but no person is good talker
VINO Is not In earnest about something. A care
less slovenly, unintereSted mind can never flower
inGo good talker What is the recipe for good
taiker? DR.: Johnson Said first, "a mind powerful,
refined and cultivated, sympathetic heart, and
avery decided facility for expression" But II we
an waited for all these gifts some OF us would re-
nam silent for very long tne. Men say that
women are deficient N humor and dennlteness;
anerelore, that very few women are good takers.
I'M, me education OF women has hitherto been super
nclai owing 10 thousand causes. Perhaps II has
leit tneir minds rudderiess anu without ballast.
All TINS ana many other reasons have conspired
pointless and poor. There ma, be- there no doubt
Is. difference between the brain OF a man and a
wonan; but when the two can bear and can gain
corresponding culture, which talks the best?
WOMEN AS CoNvERsATIoNALIsTs.
We leave out Of the contest the women who are
born splendidIy clever but even. with the every
day woman we may assert that for witty, agree
able talk, women are not unworthy competitors
Tor the laurel wreath. We seldom hear woman
spoken or as an excellent cOnversatiOnalisL" II
She talks loud, foolishly ln1udciouSly we do hear
81 IL. But now seldom does poet or lover whisper
mont anu Fletcher, IA few lines
'Sitting at the window,
frlcAlnE thy thoughts in lawn,
dld hear thee talk Tar Adore singing"
The talk OF an educated refined woman sitting
at her sewing, should indeed be .'far above sing
ing" Heaven has spared her the gross tempta-
lions, the rough contact, the vulgar appeIites
which come 10 man. She is formed for the poetic
and the refined enjoy ments; for the inspiration,
and the poets dream. Her work In life Is refined
ana elevatlnS. All the best impulses or her nature
are pepetuaily appealed 10. she is nurse, COM
panlon, consider; she Is somebody to be looked up
TO- o She Is spared The coarse duties she does net
labor" AS her hush md must. She has not to be a
policeman, deputy sheriff, coroner. And yet
the society talk OF these favored brings IS not al
ways refined. One detestabie habit has crept In OF
late; some women talk slang and strive to gain the
phraseOloSy OF the clubs, not remembering that
more delicate than the talk OF the ball 1eld and
the clubs.
WHAT MAKES A GOOD TALKER?
"a fine w.t." as our ancestors said, warmth Of
Imagination, quick relish Of pleasure, a desire to
be entertaining, should make OF women the best
takers ia the world.
Some one said "the first ingredient in conversa-
ton Is truth; the second. good sense; the third
ROOU nuuOr, ana the fourth. Wit"
Now, how difficut to bring these ingredients to-
gether. First catch your hare" VINO has good
sense. for instance? 1t is the rarest Of human
attributes Who has truth? Alas. what is TRUTH
The talk OF society must, OF necessity, he some
what 1ns.Ecere. For poteness is the SeneSchal OF
society. He will not open the door for us unless
our speech he silvern, and, indeed, We have no
right 10 go TO the house OF friend unless We are
prepared 10 be agreeable The world has grown
full Of Discrimination and compliment; therefore,
IL Is ufcult to be always polite and always truth
ful Yet, so clear is the moral sense this point
that no character In society is suspected ami
detested as Is the arranJ fiatterer The line Is
quickly drawn between the necessary and unneces-
sary Discrimination. We are committing no deadly
SIN. howevr II we refrdin IRON looking bored
when we are bored; we are not ''decevers ever" II
we refrain from telling dioagreeable truths. We
must learn tact-know where 10 draw the line.
SOME THINGS THAT HELP.
To be good listener is part OF being a good
talker. Here We bring In good humor one, OF the
ingredients. sympathetic listener is a very i'm
pOrtant factor In a conversation. Now, the fourth
ingredient. wit, is also rare, but 1t Is impoS-
STOLE. How admirably witty tlker can revive a
languishing conversation by a striking sentence,
new thought pre- ~ idea, an epiSrain, or WE'LL
told anecdoIe, a sudden dash from the banallties
OF gossip toward Owe VIII siy-a pretty quota
ton Or discussion vi Eiien Terry as Beat,ice
low many good things a witty woman can md 10
say about her Charities, the reigning mode the
tneater, the last tea; but she must AVOID the
three "Ds,' "Dress, DomesticS, and Diseases"
Indeed, she must show tact; she must not talk OF
herself, or say disagreeable things or advertise
neT failures, or De tlFeSOine. She need never De
commonplace, the witty woman! She need never
be siangy, nor cond nnatOry, nor pcnderUus nor
pedantic; her wOman's wit should save her. Now
what are her resources? The mag Zines skim or
for her the cream OF learning, quintessence OF
thought. In our rapid age we have little time for
much deeper rsading. buG the atIritiOn OF society
sharpens up the wits.
THE AMERICAN WOMEN
are the most sparkling in the world; they have
achieved by tact and quick wit what 1t has taken
the women OF the old world hundreds OF years OF
civilization t. acquire. They dress better they
appear better. Let them give little more
thought TO the ari OF conversation" and they Will
be celebrated takers as they are as beauties
Good men takers have sometimes been accused OF
a certain dishonesty In conversation. That is,
br1n ,in9 the subject round TO point which they
talk well, lying in ambush. as 1t were and spring.
Ing their own subject on the company. Good men
takers are sometimes jealous VI each other and in
a neighbOring city were Two rival wits who could
not he invited To dinner on the same day. What
then, Is that Language, the most complicated, Gu
rious finished In all the world which the greatest
OF men have regretted that they could learn, but
which the highest OF minds have excelled In the
ful TO men, the talk Of socletyf With It's ready
quotation, 1ts vision, seriousness and wit, graV-
ity which Is hot ponderous, and animation
which is not frivolous catching the aroma OF
the moment, disliling the essence OF culture, now
for an instant pedantic, and yet suggesting life
Time Of patient reading, the conversation OF the
good taker Is the highest result OF the best train
Ing Of this fugitive thing which we call our mind
The talk OF society, no doubt should always be
CIouo, BNo duu taAc uuSt Oe us mOLtO. IL must
be light and not weartsOme, neither selfish. repe-
titious nor egOtsticaL 1t should be choral and
antfphonaL We are no longer solostS, but part
OF that chorus which goes on forever. One must
use ones mind TO become a good talker.
CULTIVATED TALENT.
1t Is like the practice OF any other art, talent
flrst and then talent cultivated. One must not
imagine that a sudden rush OF brilliant ideas will
flood the soul OF agreeable conversationals with
out the natural exercise or average tutellgencp
That which Is called 'Small talk which may be A
set OF agreeable nothings, about the weather but
which becomes an Interchange OF ciyilitfes.
thoughts ana IDEAS on general subjects, all this
forms the basis OF conversation between new &C.
quaintances, and should take its first principle
the consideration as TO q subject, or sonnet hing
which shall prove agreeable 10 the individual with
wnom one Is 10 converse. One must think RAPIDLY
OF the persons age, social position known procliv-
OF what 10 talk about. A conversation created
dpropos OF the moment, with no Interior motive
than that OF bling agreeable, such Is small talk
IL may be called the "current COIN OF society ft i
the key 70 nrst pleasant Impressions TO shine in
small talk ons needs Intelligence. TACT good humOr
ana geniaiitySsy mpathy and certain adaptable
ity but no great genius Is needed such as Is need.
ed by the brilliant conversationalist, Macaulay.
sidney Smith, Tom Appleton and Evarts.
MAKING FLOW OF SMALL talk.
The art OF making continuous now OF really
agreeable small talk is not however, to be oyeres
tmated, and those who are masters OF this SIDE m
conversation stand upon q vantage ground wh,ch
viii be OF real service 70 them In every cause
There are some people who have Succeeded yerv
well In conversation on very small capital suck
people who say only "Really" and ssIndeed ana
| 50 on, who quote your own remarks bock again
These are laziy sympathettc people, very dear to