Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1888-09-28
FULL OF FUN.

Mr.. Smith-"Are you fond Of re-
Ipartee, Miss Elsiep" Elsie-''No, sir,
prefer Oolong"
Man Is considered the provider OF
family. That is the reason the little
ones look to their fodder for sustenance
.-Binghamton Republican.
Bishop dining with the family
$50 you wouldn't like to be a Bishop.
Bobby, when you grow upp" Bobby
'Td like TO well enough, but as every
body says take after mas side of the
family, / don't s'pose I'll ever be fat
enough for Bishop."-M y Sun.
She Cooking at the sea)-"How
grand, how glorious, George, 1t is to
watch the angry waves as they lash
themselves against the shore" He
with equal ecstasy. but less luency)-
"Yes, and-and-how damp 1t oil
seems!'-Life.
Proprietor (scornfully) = "Drust
you for den centsp You dinks i gets
me dem zour krout for holdings, amt
itp don't was drust mine fadder for
den cents" Brady-"For wud /,
bedad. Nor wud any body who knew
the ould thafe, bad cess TO him!'-
7eras Sifing,.
Rich Old Lady (entering palace
car)-'I want seat on the shady side,
porter" Porter-"0n whichever side
you sit will be the sunny side" The
old lady gives him dollar. and wrftes
to the papers to complain Of the over
worked condition Of the palace-car
employees. s.-Harper's BGzay.
She had been singing "Home,
Sweet Home 10 her husband-his
favorite sone-and as the last note Of
the beautiful melody trembled on the
air Bridget opened the door and saidi
THE landlord is at the frunt dure,
sorr, an says that II he don't get the
back rint Tomorrow marnin' he must
hav the house. ."-Teras SJtings.
She wanted TO take somo lessons
In archery, but she was very, very
verdant. "Have you bow and quiv6rp"
asked the teacher. "Ye-ye-yes,"
she hesitated, II have beau. but
haven't a quiver any more. He's been
coming for about two months now, and
I'm used to it."-Critic.
Physician Ito patient)-"You are
suffering from nervous prostration, ar.
Have you been drinking heavily Of
lnteP" Patient-"No, sir.n Physician
--"Business matters trouble you 10
dayp" Patient-''No, sir; l WASN'T a.
the office at all. I've been having nv
baby's photograph taken"
-Jaek-'Isn't 1t about time, Dos
pard, that you returned the twsisty'
dollars you borrowed of me sune
months agoa" Despard generously
--"0h, don't let that worry you, old
fellow. When l do settle, propose TO
pay interest on the money. I'm q
square man, Jack, and never go back
on friend. ."-Iid-Bits.
-"Yes," said Uncle Rastus, "I'se
been takin' brain food TO ter stimulate
my mem'ry. an It's wukin' fust rate. 7"
IL hope 1t has worked sufficiently for
you TO remember, Uncle Rastus, that
you have owed me seventy-five conts
for over a year, "Yes. sab; dat was
one OBJ do fust things numbered. and
jes' as was gwine 'roun' TO- ter pay de
money also 'membered dat wuddent
have muffin lef ter buy q Goldfish wifi.
Dat brain food, Mistah Smii, am or
great discovery. Epoch.
-O'Tara (marshal Of the orgamza-
tion known as the verdant Sons of
Erin)-"Now, thin! want to say to
the members, that whin at perade rist,
/ shall expict aich an livery wan to
stand in the position OF sojer. with
their hands clasped and their arms
foldedw O'Hara (a privnte, with an
inquiring mind will ye please show
us, Mr.. O'Tara, how that can be
donep" O'Tara (equal 10 the emer-
gency)-"Do as bid yez, now, and
kape more silence In thin ranksp-
Idea