The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-10-18
WISE AND OTHERWISE.

A shocking tric-Electric.
A fine place-A police court.
A sugar trust-Candy on tick.
A circulating medium-Blood.
A garden party-The gardener.
Signal service-Flag talk at sea.
A marine auction-A sail at sea.
In regular piokle-Corned beef.
Heavy reading-A ships log book.
A disagree;-ble chap-Hugh Nudity.
A doctors riches are ill-gotten gains.
Pears Soap is an elegant toilet adjunct.
The eqnilibrist's life hangs in the bal
ance.
The oldest verse in existence uni
verse.
Well earned--The fortune Of petrol
cum producer,
Why is it that when a man "erects" a
house he gives 1t stoop?
Business is like clock. When it is
run down it should be wound up.
1t is the poor struggling attorney who
is dressed in a little "brief" authority.
1t is the sad fate of many journals Of
today to become journals of yesterday.
We often find that an eloquent speak
er is like river-greatest at the mouth.
Tourists to Yellowstone Park next
season might encounter Northwestern
blizzard. If they are wise men they
will take supply of the famous DIR.
Bulls Cough Syrup.
Many a fellow who is whole souled
has To go to a shoemaker to get half
souled.
The tizzical proportions of a soda foun-
tain are not to be measured by tape
line.
Banana-skins and careless persons con-
tinue to throw each other on the pave
ment.
Some one says that wealth is shadow.
1t is pleasant reflection to many OF us.
To have ones nose to the grindstone
must be what is meant by grinding pow
erty.
Most sea captains are called Jolly old
salts, but some Of them are rather pep
perry.
Defeat is school IN which truth al
ways grows strong. Though your disease
battle your physician, if You put your
blood in good order with Warmers Log
Cabin Sarsaparila. you can rely on
finally growing well and strong. Pure
blood means good health.
Nobody can paint spirit pictures equal
to the artist whose nom de plume is Jim
Jams.
A tree is like the man in a hurry.
When he leaves he makes good use of
his limbs.
IL is queer coincidence that red is
made from madden, and bulls are made
madden by red.
There is great deal of billing and COO.
ing done at the seaside. The hotel men
do the billing.
When was Pharaoh's daughter like a
merchant in Wall street ? When she
found a little prophet in the rushes on
the bank,
We have speedy and positive cure
for Catarrh, Diphtheria, Canker Mouth
and Headaches in SIIILOH'S CATARRH
REMEDY. A nasal injector free with
each bottle. Use it if you desire health
and sweet breath. Price so cents. Sold
by j, T. Shurtleff.
Farming is one of the best of occupa-
tons for young man. Even cabbage
culture will enable struggling youth to
get head.
Many a singer is ambitiously reaching
for high &c" while her husband is hum
bly,. and obscure!y struggling for low,
jack and the game.
Railroad Oficial-I am exceedingly
| httr i
Citizen (ndignantly)-Wh-at ! And I've
had pass TN your road for 10 years. Is
that the way you treat old customers?
When began using EIy's Cream Balm
my catarrh was so bad | had headache
the whole time and discharged a large
amount of filthy matter. That has al
most entirely disappeared and | have
not had headache since j. H Summers.
Stephuey, Conn.
l thank God that you ever invented
such a medicine for catarrh. have
suffered for five years so could not lie
| down for weeks at IA time. Since have
been using Ely's Cream Balm can rest.
Frank p. Burleigh, Pennington. N. Ii.
A man writes the following to the
Smi'hville News l want TO pay for my
subscription, but I'm little short of
money ; 81 send you half dozen eggs.
II yOu'l put 'em under settin' hen
they'll hatch ont enough chickens to pay
for years subscription,
A special favor Bereaved widow Ito
country editor)-Do you charge for obit-
uary notices, Mr.. Shears 2 Country Ed
itor-As a general thing we do, Mrs.
Bently, but your husband and ! were
very old friends. and will only be too
glad to publish his obituary for nothing.
What you want bredren," said a
'lored preacher, waving his arms wild.
~ to pmphas re is words what you
want il sanct figun p N ! Get sanctif-
gnmp'ion, if you don'tget nothing else =
DON'T GIVE UP
beca Ine you feel blue and are troubled
with that tired and al'=gone feeling. Do
~ Il d, use a bottle Of Sulphur b tiers,
II viii make you feel Ike \ new person
it did me. JENNIE holmes
3j4 fremont street, B 'stun. 35t2
The powers that be Mlslress-'B Bird
get, l wish you wouldn't go out this af-
lernoon. am not feeling very we'll"
Bridget-"Faith, but that's quare ray
son I'm well enough. mesilf, amt | y
They think good deal of their white
marble door tteps in Philadelphia One
Chestnut street man bu 1t pen around
his when going away for the summer to
save them from defilement. Mkt thing
they will t,ke them in the house O.
nights.
why am l ike a pin p asked Mr.
Wttyman triumphanily of his wife
He expected she was going Ia say. Be-
cause you are 81 sharp" and he was sim
ply paralyz-d when she responded BE
cause il you should get lost it wouldn't
be worth while to spend time looking
for Won and because two hundred Of