davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21
IN A sTREET-CAR.
A Place to See Funny People and Study
Human Nature.

a Place To See Funny feOpie ana study
Human Nature.
II you want to see funny people and
study human nature take ride in u
streetcar.
A very stout old lady entered Ninth
street car the other day with an armful
OF packages and bundles that would
nearly have filled a hand-wagon. The
car started with spasmodic jerk, which
sent her into the arms of dignitied
elderly gentleman, and her bundles were
hurled in all directions. He turned q
rosy red and gently lifted her to her feet,
while the passengers gathered the scat
tered bundles. She thanked them with
one of those old.time "curtsies'' SO little
seen now and then began TO tumble in
her pockets for her fare. Finally she
drew forth handkerchief in one corner
Of which five pennies were tied. Deolln-
ing the offers of the Others, she went to
the door and knocked on i to attract the
drivers attention. "Look-a-here, don't
this car go by | street2'
Eyes, madam"
"Well, want TO go there; so please let
me OIL at / street, Eye street" She
spelled 1t out to the amusement OF the
whole car.
can right, madam"
Eye street, remember. i III from Alex
andria, and they told me would have TO
spell II to you or you would not know
where TO let me off," she continued,
loudly and impressively.
When the car reached | street, the
driver stopped it, the old lady arose and,
turning 10 the carfull as she reached the
door, said, Good morning. and stepped
to the ground. She must have thought
her fellow.p passengers very rude, for they
were so taken by surprise that they did
not recover until she was well up toward
Tenth street
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21
NEW BOOKS RECEIVED.

TAXATION, ITs PRINCIPLES AND METHODS,
Translated from the Schema dele FL
name" of DR.. Luigi Cossa, Professor in
the University of Pavia, Italy. With
an Introduction and Notes by Herace
White Together with a Compilation of
the State Tax Systems of New York
and Pennsylvania. New York: &. p.
Putnam's Sons. Washington: Robert
Beall, 405 Pennsylvania avenue.
GOVERNOR CHAMBERLMN's ADMINIsTRA-
TIoN IN SOUTH CAROLINA. A Chapter of
Reconstruction in the Southern States.
With portrait BY Walter Allen. who
submits the work with the confidence
that the only condition indispensable TO
a just appreciation of one who bravely
and honorably performed hard duty
is that what he did, why he did it, and
how he did it, shall be fully and fairly
set forth" New York: G. P. Putnam's
Sons, publishers. Washington Robert
Beall, 495 Pennsylvania avenue.
THREE KINGDOMS. A Handbook of the
Agassiz Association. By Harlan IL.
Ballard, President of the Association.
New York: The Writers Publishing
Co. A book that will be found of great
utility to branches or chapters of the
Association all over the country, and to
those who contemplate entering into
the work. II contains full and satisfac-
tory answers to every question that is
likely to be asked concerning the aims,
methods and scope of the Association.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21
BARRELS AND BARRELS.
Some Startling Statistics In Regard to
Steady Drinking,


"How many drinks of whisky do you
average day?" said one gentleman to
another, as they were enjoying a socia
glass at resort on Cotton avenue yester-
day afternoon.
"Oh, taking the year round, presume
my average would be about ten day."
"And how long has this been going on2"
straight along for twenty years,
guess; but it never hurt me any, and can
attend to, my business just as well as l
ever could"
"But how much whisky, taking your
own statement for 1t, do you suppose you
have drunk during that timer"
"Im sure | don't know. / never
thought about that"
"Well, let us take another nip and then
figure on II" and they did, and here is the
result of their work
"'Ien drinks day would be 20 drinks a
week, or 3,6l0 drinks in year. In
twenty years that would give the enor-
nous number of y 800 drinks. Now, the
average drink taken in this country Is
said TO be go TO a gallon. Then divide
this 72S00 by go and YOU find that
you have consumed l,2l3 and fraction
gallons. Now, there are supposed TO be
ON the average, 36 gallons to barrel.
Divide l ,2l3 by 80 and you will find that
you have drunk just about 81 barrels OF
the stuff
Tie old topper looked at the figures and
then at his friend, and then remarked
"Well, let's take one more, and then
think III give my stomach rest for a
day or two. - Americus Recorder.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21
THE FIRST IN CAMP.
a Bustie Creates IA Sensation in White
Horse Gulch.
:From the Denver News.

.From the Denver News.
Every miner in the camp was eX-
cited and talking about it. Now, it
took some very important event to
thoroughly arouse all the boys along
the gulch. A row in which only one
man was killed was considered very
commonplace social event, and an
ordinary lynching did not attract
much attention.
What was it?
Why, there was a woman in camp;
and all was commotion. 1t was the
first great social even in White Horse
Gulch.
The young lady had finished her
dinner, and was strolling about the
camp with her uncle, large, heshy,
jolly old man, who was large stock
holder in one of the principal mines
in the gulch. He had brought his
niece, q young lady of twenty, on
trip with him for company, and also
to show her something of the wild
and rugged West. 1t had been many
month since the boys had seen a
woman, and hence everybody wanted
to meet her and invite her to partake
of the hospitalities of White Horse
| gulch, for all the strings were
out, and she would have been well
coined to the best the rude mountain
cabins afforded.
Now any woman would have APP
| peared handsome. A dried-up old
maid from New England, dieted and
preserved on non-sugared tea for a
quarter of a century, would have been
considered handsome and very lovely,
for the mountain boys are very gal
liant to women, and old maids are
given fair show every time.
The boys were all charmed by the
polite manners and handsome face of
the young lady, but there was look
of deep sympathy in the eyes of all
when they saw her. "It is too bad,' ~
was the prevailing sentiment of all.
"What q handsome face, pard y
exclaimed miner to his friend, "bu
how unfortunate !"
Some admired her handsome face
others her beautiful black hair, anC
others her comely- shaped foot, but al
pitied her for her deformity. Tha
evening, after the young lady had re
tired, the uncle was chatting with {
number of miners, and his niece, o
whom the fond uncle was very proud
became the topic of conversation
Finally one harder than the rest sait
il was q pity she was deformed. II
tones of sympathy he told the uncl
how the hearts of all the miners of th
White Horse gulch had gone out to
ward him for her affiiction.
"Atilietedp' shouted the enraget
uncle. Afflicted! Why, she is onl,
wearing one of those blankety blanl
bustles." And everybody replied il
a chorus:
"Bustle! Bustle! What's bustle?'
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21
Fate of the Heather

A Charleston newspaper recently asked
eight ministers of various denominations
what they thought would be the fate of
the heather after death. Five ofthem, a
Methodist, an Episcopalian, a Unitarian,
q Catholic and Jew, thought that those
who were invinoibly ignorant ofthe truths
revealed by Christ and who faithfully OBJ
the light of reason and the grace of God,
might be saved. A Scotch Presbyterian
thought that all, heather or Christian,
who died without conversion would be
damned. A Presbyterian thought that
the heather would bejudged by their own
conscience but doubted their salvation
unless they were converted. Baptist
thought there was no salvation out of
Christ, and that God had done enough to
leave the heather without excuse,
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21
CITY NEWS PARAGRAPHS.

Up to date $500 has been forfeited
by keepers of houses of ill-fame for sell
ing liquor without license.
The Washington Directory for Nurses
has been removed to l226 o street and
placed under the charge Of Mrs. A. II.
Westlall.
George Graves and Emil NGintrop
were acquitted in the Criminal Court
yesterday of the charge of robbery in
forcibly taking gold watch from VIM.
T. Garden.
Cardinal Gibbons, accompanied by
Rev. Father Foley, will spend tomorrow
in this city, officiating at ST. Josephs
Church. On Monday they will leave for
Asheville, N. c., TO attend the conven-
ton for the promotion of Catholic immi-
grafton into the Southern States.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21
DIED.

BARRY. ON Friday, April 90 1888, at
730 u. M, Mary Barry, relict of Thomas
Barry, aged IA years.
Funeral from $50 B street southeast, ON
Sunday, 22d, at $50 p M, thence to st.
Peters Church.
sWEENEY.-on Thursday, April 10, 1888,
at 1920 p. m, of congestion OF the lungs,
James Patrick Sweeney, aged 20 months and
I day, the only beloved son OF Michael and
Julia Sweeney.
Funeral from his parents residence, No 81
p street northwest, on Sunday, April 22, at q
O'Clock p. M, Relatives and friends are In
vited to attend.
GERHARDT-At 1169 Twenty.irst street
northwest, on April 10, 1855 Charles Ger
hardt, the beloved son of Mrs. Lena Ger
hardt, aged 21 years and months.
Funeral on Sunday at 2 p. m.
NMOORE.-S Suddenly on Friday evening at
7.3O O'Clock, April 20, Robert E. Moore, aged
d years,
Funeral services at his late residence, 73i
Fifth street northwest, on Sunday afternoon
al 3 o'clock Friends invited.
WHITE.-At the residence of Professor
Sheldon, Hannah, reict OF the late John A.
White Of Philadelphia.
Funeral on Monday.
philadelphia papers please copyl
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21
=. N. MILLER, OWNER CLARK, rnArvrl

r. N. MILLER, OWNER. CLARK, TnAIHB l.
Harry Russell, b, 8, Eolus--L'llie
Russell.
liimalaya, br h, a, virgil-Kentucky
Belle.
And six others whose names could not
be asCertained.
covERSoR oDEN BOWIE, OWNER AND
TRAINER.
-, ch g, 5, Catesby-My Maryland
Vosburg, ch 4, 4, Vassal-Australia
Jubilee, ch &. A. Vassal--Joy.
Belle Dor ch I, 3, Raymond Dor
Belle Meade.
Vance, b G, 3, Vassal--NIirth.
Salvini, ch o. 3, Sensation-Stella.
Persuader, b C, 2, Dickens-Persuasion
Japhet, brc, 2, by Dickens.
Nassal or Blythewood-Oriole.
Hay colt, 2, by Vassal- -Fairyiew.
There are six others in this stable.
In addition to these horses the fol-
lowing are expected from Nashville
tomorrow.
NJ. T. DANAHEn's srABLE--owNER ANp
TRAINER.
Referee, b Z, a, by Hurrah Kinnie X.
Killarney, ch g, a, by Orion-Goung
Utlla.
Masterpiece, h, ., by Blue Mantle
Phoebe Mayflower
Ruse, ch h, 4, by Reform-Artilice.
Cataline, b Z, 4, by Mortemer--Fannie
Ludlow.
Lizzie Scott, b m, 4, by Falsetto-Fan-
chon.
Dutchmon, ch c, 3, by Great Tom
Mohur.
Youghiogheny, ch C, s. by Virgil-Bcllc
Peyton.
-, BIC, ?, by Fellowcraft.
:. LEIGHs sTABLE-owNER AND TRAINER
Bankrupt, ch h, 3, by spendthriGt-
Authoress.
Lucy Johnson, ch IN, j. by Jils john
son--Lulu Johnson.
Rambler, b c, 3, by Bramble-Daisy
loey.
1anthe, b I, 9, by Storey-Uga.
There are also quite u number of
horses expected from New York Mon
day or Tuesday. Then Colonel Das.
well always has two or three good
ones to send up from Virginia, and
rumor says there is to be no excep-
tion to the rule this year. As there
is to be lot of fast work ut the track
in the morning there will probably
be very large attendance.
Stake Declarations.
The number of declarations in the
spring stakes are Analostan, IA; Youth
ful, 10; Senate Steeplechase, 9; Congress
sional Handicap 10; Willard Hotel
Stakes, 10; Brentwood, s; Army and
Navy, 10, and National Handicap, 0, a
total of 50 declarations out of 20l entries.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21
Chairman Barnum Emphatic.

The Hon. VIM. IL. Banum, chairman
Of the Democratic National Committee,
is now IN st. LOUIS arranging for the
meeting of the National Convention. On
being told of rumors current in st. Louis
that he was an anti-Cleveland man, he
said; "Say for me that all reports of that
kind are not only unfounded, but false.
There is no stronger Cleveland man in
the country than | am. i am in favor of
Cleyeland's denomination. ! think he
will be renominated, and feel sure that
he will be reelected If there Is stronger
Cleveland man than / am in these parts
/ would hike to see him. In fact, / would
walk some distance TO see him, and then
would try to be inoculated with his spirit
in order that | might reach the highest
standard of enthusiasm. believe that
Cleveland is the best President since
Washington, am certain he is the best
Chief Magistrate this country has had
since i became man."
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21
WEST WASHINGTON.
Nntoa Ahnnt Town.


A surprise party was held at the resi-
dcnco Of Louis IL. Rosenbusch, on the
dunlaw road last night. Two coach
loads of young people left here to attend,
and good time was enjoyed by them.
Mrs, E. Il. Russell, matron of the Jail,
addressed the meeting of the M-Strcet
Temperance Union last night at Market.
House Hall. Since these meetings began
40 have signed the pledge.
Temperature and condition of water
at n, IN. Great Falls, temperature, 90;
condition, 10; receiving reservoir, tempera-
ture So, condition at north connection, 90
condition at south connection, 10; distrib-
uting reservoir, temperature, %; condition
at influent gate-house, 10; condition at eff
fluent gate-hoise, o.
Work Mt Olympic Park.
The grading and rolling of the grounds
at Olympic Park was completed yester-
day, and the diamond Is now as hand
some as any amateur park in the country.
IL is the intention of the management to
reorganize their nine Immediately and
meet all the leading clubs in the State
leagues. The season will be opened with
the Georgetown University nine.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21
Bedroon Fnrnitnre

LIGHTNING RODS; electric work. J.H.KuEnLlSo
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21
The Greatest Man.

Justice David Davis was once asked
who was the greatest man he ever knew
The Justice, not unlike most members
Of the Supreme Court, valued highly his
own opinion and was exceedingly care
fulin deliveringit In this instance he
told his questioner TO wait for the answer
until they should meet again. A week
passed between the two meetings As
they sat down together the second time
the Judge saidimpressiyely "Tbe great
eet man ] ever knew was Roger B.
JanCy,"
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21
Ladies ana Candies Are Synonymous
Words.

If such thing can be possible, the ladies
look sweeter and fresher In the spring Of the
year, when Nature seems to be at her best.
especially when the lovely flowers bloom In
the spring And u Is a noticeable fact that
both ladies and children, II such thing can
things Of this life more at this season of the
year, Judging from the great thrODgs Of ladies
as well as children. All seem TO be vending
their way to the two stores Of Mr.. Il. NJ.
Sheetz, corner of Eleventh and q streets, and
Seventh and northwest.
Mr.. Sheetz's candies are manufactured
under his own supervision every two hours
In the day, and this Is the greatest secret OF
his phenomenal success IN the National
Capital
His lady assistants are also Of great help to
his busnfs fss boom, they being always cheer
full and accommodating 10 his many custom.
ers; and MIR. Sheetz, the proprietor, Is a Dst
genial gentleman, and that, Of course, pleases
all who deal with him.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21
j. Frank Johnson's Restaurant Re
modelled.

Jollnson's popular and well.ordered Restau-
rant, on the corner of Ninth and Il streets
northwest, has been remodelod on the inside
and handsomely painted ash color in front.
The gentlemen's diningrooIns are strictly
private, being partitoned OF from the bae.
which makes the diningparlors more desir
able for business men TO 60 and take their
lunches, which great many do.
There are other desirable improvements on
the inside, which make the Restaurant still
more attractive, coupled with all the luxuries
and coIt eniences.
Frank, our genial host. makes Il pleasant
for his friends and patrons, and serves the
very best to them that our market affords, at
popular prices,
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21
The Washington Academy of Teieg-
rnphY

has been removed from Capitol Hill to No.
631 i 81. n. W., Rooms Z, > and "a more
central and convenient location.
The Academy rooms have been fitted upat
much expense FOR the comfort and conve-
nience of pupils, and furnished with all the
Instruments and appliances necessary for
thoroughly instructing students in the
ART OF TELEGRABnY.
The system of instruction is practcal-em-
bracing all the details of the business as
conducted in a Telegraph 0fice.
It's one OF the Institutions of the city, aud
should command the encouragement and
support Of the friends of
PRACTICAL EDUCATION,
who are cordially invited to visit the Acad.
emy, when the Principal and Assistants will
take pleasure in explaining the method of
instruction, &c.
For further particulars please send for
Pamphlet containing Terms, Testimonials
sc. Address,
WAsnINGToN ACADEMY OF TELEGRApHY,
03l Il st. N. W., Rooms Z, 3 and ..
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21
Gifts to the Shah.

Says the London correspondent of the
New York Sio,' The Shah of Persia is a
very lucky individual. Ever since the
British Government, TO gain his favor, sent
him fine Indian elephant, gifts have
been pouring in upon him from all the
European powers. ! told you last week
of the presents sent him by the Car, and
now the new German Emperor has sent
him the correspondence of Frederick the
Great, in forty volumes. 1t is hard 10
imagine what disposition the Shah will
which has sent along three magnificent
Sevres vases, decorated in many colors,
has made much wiser bid for the Per
slams favor.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21
Johnson,s Dime NIuseum

Colonel Turner Wood, aged go years,
the wonderful Alabama prodigy and the
oldest dwarf now living, is making big
hit at Johnson's Dime Museum this
week
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21
Three Important Definitions.

A poor creature who has been through
the mill says: "An editor works 365 days
per year TO get out fifty-two issues Of
paper; that's labor. Once in a while
somebody pays him for a years subscrip-
ton; that's capital; and once in while
some son Of gun of dead beat takes
the, paper year or two and yanishess
What could be more truthful or more sor-
rowful.--[Glen's Falls Republican.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21

The jury in the case of Ferdinand
King, formerly secretary Of the Eleventh
Building Association of Georgetown,
charged with forgery in connection with
the association, was yesterday acquitted
in the Criminal Court.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21
FINANCIAL AND COMMERCIAL.
Petroleum..

b. X. Plain & Co., st. Cloud Building,
furnish the following Oil quotations
Closed yesterday, Sis; opened to-day, Sis;
highest, S6s; lowest, S39; IL m, S6s.
New York Stock Market.
The following have been furnished by
Il. X. Plain & Co., Brokers, st. Cloud
Building, Ninth and + streets:
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21
"AIderney Dairy wagons"

Fresh Alderney butter, ohnrned every
morning and delivered In lb "Ward"
prints, 46G, per, lb. Also cottage cheese
Cream, 16cl per pt.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21
oITY SPECIALS.
"Toe HravOs.,'

Conchas de Regalo style, genuine Key Wcs,
received; SC. each, s226 box Of so.
Cigar department. Open this evening,
H. & r. METzGEn,
All 9TH ST. n. ".
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21
pERFuMERIEs ANp COSMETICS.

Palmer's Prima Donna ...,.... ,...... 13c
Powder boxes and powder puds Ia great
varieties, at very low prices
Eau Fortihanti, the best hair tonic, war
ranted TO keep the hair from coming
out. and make IL grow, large size. ......S 50
small ......,.. Doc
Imported Soaps, au sue de laitue, q Ia vlo-
lette, au bouquet, ETC.. extracts for the hand
kerchief.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21

YALE STEAM LAUNDRY. 522 10th st. n. W.,
near f. Collars, &c; Cuffs, De- Shirts, 10c;
Ladies' Cape Collars, &c. Firstclass in every
particular. FRANK ii. WALKER 81 Co., Pro.
pretors. Telephone call, 666-5.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21

OUR Straw MATTINGs will please in style and
prices. w. II. HoueHToN d Co..
1914 Il st, n, w,
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21
BLEAcHEs AND DYES.

Imported Bleach for tightening the hair and
keep blonde hair from turning dark; auburn
to give reddish tint; by the ounce, 15c.
Orientaline, for turding gray hair blonde,
75c to 81 so; brown or black. zoe and 81 .35.
Brilliantine for too dry hair, 45c.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21

Buy YOUR clothing for yourself and
boys from first hands. Eiseman Bros,
corner 7th and II, the only manufacturing
tajlors and olothiers in Washington.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21

Four POUNDS new Turkish Prunes, 25c.
NJ. Il p, METzGER,
d17 9TH St n W.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21

OUR SLIP COVER MATERIALS are of the latest,
and in great variety
W. n. HouGHToN & Co.,
1914 Il st n W,
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21

ouR ASSORTMENT of Reed and Rattan Furni-
ture will meet your demand.
w. ii. HoUGHToN & Co.,
1914 Il st. n. W.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21

VISITING CARDS neatly engraved from your
plates at 10 cents per hundred. Kervand,
l012 Pennsylvania avenue
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21

Notice.
We have the best Refrlgerators handled in
this city. Also, an excellent stock of Baby
Carriages, House Furnishing Goods of all
kinds, all Of which we will sell on the In
stallment plan at cash prices.
GATELY & ALDRIcH,
527 7th st. n. W.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21

10 PROVE our clam of selling at manu-
faeturers' prices, see our $40 and $40 mems
suits in sack and cutawaY style. Else
man Bros, corner 7tb and r.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21
A Splendid Line OF Mohair

LITHoaRAPH CHECK Books made TO order
Handsome designs. Kervand, 1012 Pennsyl
vania avenue.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21

MoHoGRAMs and address dies stamped in
colors az low figures. Keryand's, 1912 Penn
sylvania avenue.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21
Crescent OIL, 1880 Fire Test.

Crescent Oil, 1850 Fire Test.
Highest Test. Safest and Best Oil Sold in
the City.
For Lamps and Stoves, 5 gallons, 81.
gallons, 26c.
China, Glass and Housefurn.shings at very
low prices.
1910 Est n. W.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21
An Old Lady

opened her eyes quite wide as she gazed
upon the Special Bargains in the window of a
7thstreet store Linen Crash, &c. yd.; Veil
ing at &c. per yd.; Ladies' Hose &C. per pair;
ties that ought to meet the wants of every
bargain hunter in Washington can be puI-
chased at TuRPIN & Co.'S Great Scent store,
430 9TH ST. n. W.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21

and silk Braids, Buttons. &c. Buttons GOV.
cred TO order, at the Cloth House,
500 ID street n, W.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21

Loolsi Looki Looki-Defy Competition.
VIII sell for one week, and positively one
week only, for Cash, all goods in our line,
which Is complete in the Furniture Depart
Breitbarth's, odd Fellows Hall, Seventh
street northwest.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21

1t In the Best.
Ask for II. schlitz's Milwaukee Lager Beer.
For sale by all leading houses.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21
Notice.

Four POUNDS new Turkish Prunes, 25c.
VI. tv. L. METZGER
Az Tth II n "
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21
EDUCATIONAL,

CPLNCEKIAS BUSINESS COLLEGE, cor.
- 9TH and SITS. n. W., the first floor over
the Bank of the Republic, recently
secured for additional college hall and
new college office. Three entire floors now
occupied by this institution New classes for
spring session in six departments: Practical
Business Course; Stenography and Tvpcwrit
ing; Practical English Branches; Elocutions
Benn Pitman Photography; Rapid Business
Writing. Day and Evening Sessions for Gem
tlemen and Ladies. Tuition by the year,
free. II. c. SPENCER, Principal; SARA A.
SPENCER Vice PRINCIPAL
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21

Bedroom Furniture,
Cabinets and covered Parlor Suites at such
that will pay any desiring such to
inspect. Only short time to select them.
W. ii. HoUGHToN 81 Co.,
1914 st. n, W.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-21

To the Ladies'.
Send your lace curtains 10 the Swiss Steam
Laundry, 1922 + street.