Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1888-09-15
THAT SMOKED SALMON.

building at the corner OF LmcFsDn avenue
and Amty street 1t was long, low build
Ing. the store bcln. on the first hoor, while
In the second story was sort OF public hau
for rent to peripatetic negro minstrel trouIes,
Jubilee SINGERS ard transcendentai debating
I. ,cieties Ea1tcrs store was what Is called
general store--so called, presumably, because
/, /. generally out Of what you want. Baxter
pro.esscd TO keep everything needfui' from
bolt cotton down 20 patent clothes pins, and
frorl winter.re-n lozenges up to real ostrich
feather fans Baxter hinse was a typical
Yankee tall, hulkin3. lantern Jawed and
glrrulous I-c wa 80 thrifty that he had his
clothes made ut home, and his wife always
cut his hair lie was SO thrifty that II he
had / n wrecked Oh a desert island, he
would have swan ashore in two weeks with
his pockets full OF SO gold pieces. When
fellow rot through dealing with Baxter he
felt pretty much as il he'd been run through
q sieve.
well, when walked into the store that
morning, VS., as | have said, in consider
able of a hurry had made NJ my mind to
order the smoked salmon and get to my train
inst as fast as could There was nobody in
tho trout part Of tho store, so | walked back
a vayR AR. Baxter was mailing a Goldfish to
a board
"tOa. rood mornin', Mister Russell says
he We've rot anuthcr Nv them line morn
ia's this nornn' Does beat all what fine
weather we've been havin' this summer.
Wuz telln' my vile yesterday that | hadn't
known such weather in thirty years-not
sense the Lyman boys wuz drownded in the
East river Always knew they'd come to
some bad end, but they'd never have@rownded
If t-cy'd stuck to the res lar swimmn' hole.
Some folks IS never willil' to let well enough
nioae, but has to DO fyin' in tho face Nv
Providence. which is not only foolish, but
wicked
..'Ycs, that is true, Mr. Baxter says /;
but Iavc you any smoked salmon todayf
Smoked slhmonf he repeated thought
fully. Smoked sahmonf Why, yes. calclate
wo can accommodate sc. Let Inc see-whcre
did put that smoked sahmona Ought to he
on tho shelf next to the calico prints, but
don't seem to 10 there. Always make it
rulo to havc place for everything, and to
kcep everything ia its place; shcn | know
lust VIII ro to pat my hands on it in u rninnit
tel you Mister Russell. there's nuthin' like
or.er-I don't care whether a Iaans runnin'
a store or race trac.-nuthin' like order
Mother tlu~ht mo that lesson when | wuz q
boy up in New UaIa"shirc. guess she wuz,
perhaps. the s.uartcst woman that ever lived;
somehow or other wImmin nowadays haven't
got tho faculty she had-you don't get no
such Cou,uuuts and pies nowadays that you
us d 10 get when my mother WIZ livlu'.
Naal. now, it's funny can't lay ry bands
on that s1losc slhmonl Likely rs not that
boy Rcu lcn hcz hid { away somewhere.
Never did sec sucl n shiftlcss boy in all my
born days, don't do no good to talk to him
h LccDs right on with his Jim Crow bust
ness lust til same. Miss Perkins-o2c Of the
Pcrisi ms sisters lives down next to the Hobart
piacc-wuz in hero t'oticr day M ordered
an ounce Nv cloves to take to choir meetin';
darned il that fool boy didn't do up paper
Nv tacl.s r. her. That cvenin' 'bou, 8 O'Clock
Lem Higgins, tho bass singer, come runnin'
dowa the road FIR Doc Smith. 'Sakcs alive,
Lom,' sez the Doc, what al your There
amt no:h.n the matter with me- SCI Lem.
but Miss Perkins is havin' G:s up to tho
mee.in' house Jest wait minnit, til | cit
my medicine chest, says tao Doe. We don't
wan: 10 medicine says Lem. EFF werc Goin'
to save her life, all We need is perieshonal
skill al a tack hammer
Now, this was all very amusing, but it
had nothing to do with smoked salmon, nor
did it facilitate my catching the i0:l5 train
for Z cston.
"'.Ir Baxter saws I. I'm sorry you
b vent any smoked simon
"'fio,d on mani, sIys he, interruptins
me: IN find out where Reuben put it. Aud
then ho called, 'Rcubcnr 'Reubenr several
times il sarill, raspins voice, and wound
W with Col du'a Your picter, why don't
you answer when | call y-ci'
"'Yc5, s.r,' says Reuben at last, from far
coraer il the bac!; ED Of the store.
"TLerc did you put that 'ere smoked
sab ~olr
"'The smoked sah,no9f
ayes. sir, the So slhmonr
AWAY, there n.a's ro..,.'
aye don't me u to say that we've run out
OF sElo,:cl SlhGloal Does beat eli that
never kin c1.a Tat boy Eu:hin'. Told L;sn
time Al .,,l:l, wien lie saw we wuz ruac.I'
ont NV ~ tiny, lie raus. les re know, so=c
c'u'l order so,lc rlorc fron Bost'n. WAL
meow, earned If amt rry, Mr Russell,
rr know Jest Low disappointed folks is
when t@ey i,,a-e ~ their Dlads fr smoked
81 mon an cart Get nny. Its jest Ike
tearil' tie hears out or loSin q favo.ite cat
or havil' SON. other great, cru him sor-
rer. Why, reco.iect that at one time old
Squire uolbroos come in the store
end sez he, "Eira1n--he wIz one Of
tie se,ec:.acl, en- lie always called me Iii
ram iraa," sez he, ''hev you cot any
dried becff' Squire .-olbroo..," sez |, 1--WE
hcv run ut Of dried beef, but | Kin let you
hcv some da.lasi towelia' al a surprisin' low
G-Scr." mo, l.lrasa," SEE lie. kinder sadly,
mo toweii.,' today. | had got my heart sort
Nv So. OIL dried beef" lie moved OF Ike lie
WE il n dream, ca next Ecrnin' he WIZ
found dead IA his bed. DOC Smith said it
wuz hear disease, but hev always sospl-
cioned that his heart wuzn't so much dis
eased ms 1t wus broke.
Then Baxter entered upon difTuse bio
graphical sketch Of Squire tlolbrook, and
when be bad got along down to about the
fifty second year Of the squire's mundane ca
reer, he was minded of the squire's half
brother, Israel Warner. then learned that
Baxter was intimately acquainted with the
minute details of Isrsel's life, from the time
he ran away to sea up to the naturally subse
ocent date of his suffering death at the hands
of FIJI canribals 1t seems that Israel Wis
tied pretty nearly every foreign country I'M
der the sun, swapping glass beads and maple
sugar for ivory and diamonds He was
Wrprkc1 uNc times, was ctpNuteN
pirates. and once, when swimming in the
Indian ocean, he had seven hour hand to
hand encounter with a shark ten feet long.
Il was not surprising that his vicissitud nous
career saonll have been ended by all episode
with cannibaiS
Now, all tbs time" says Mr.. Russell, Il
kept moving away from Daxtcr. 1 had come
for smoked salmon. When / learned that
there was no smoked salmon to be bad, was
prepared to SO my way and pursao my usual
line OF business. But Baxter would not let
me SO. He kept right on talking, and the
longer he talked the wider he diverScd from
the original subject Of smoked salmon.
might have left the store abruptly might
have torn myself ru.lely away-but l did
not wish TO offend Baxter. He was q well
meaning man and liked him-yes, really
liked him. in spite OF tho circumstance that
he was saoping my vitality
81 had worked my way pretty well to-
wards the door ard y a. nervously thrur-
min: on jar Of picked peaches that stood
On the counter. II Baxter had had any
dclicacy Of observation, he would have sean
how anxious was to get away.
"'Darned good peaches in that Jar said
hA GroWpd am myxalf M srifora nor