Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1888-11-12
Every dude has a head light.
A shirt front is a thing to be studded

shirt front is thing to be studded.
l want.
Some bellies captivate with artless
heart; others with heartess art.
Why is tin can tied to dogs tail like
death? It's bound to occur.
The man who hollows amen the loudest
doesn't always mean it the most.
Why is the north pole like an Illicit
whiskey mandatory? 1t is a secret still.
Talk is cheap in this world, because
the supply is so much larger than the de-
mand.
The hen that Matched out Il brood of
seven roosters was very proud of her SON
SET
Earthquakes are very aristocratic-at
least they always belong to the upper
crust
People studying the language of Fin
land have quite an exciting time at the
Finnish.
In Denmark, girls are trained to agri-
culture, but in this country they take more
kindly to husbandry.
The Bee Line Railroad has 1 II crooks
in it. A bee that can't fly straghter than
that had better invent IA compass.
Five thousand pianos are ruined by the
atmosphere every year The atmosphere
isn't half appreciated.
''How much to peep through your tele-
scope?', ''Ten cents.'' "There is five,
have only one eye"
Why is it easy to get in an old mans
his locks are few.
What is the difference between dogs
tail and rich man? One keeps wagging
and the other keeps carriage.
'sDo you know, Jack, that woodpecker
reminds me of my tailor ''Why?" BE
cause he bores me with his bill"
What is the difference between soldier
and a pretty woman? One faces the pow
der and the other powders the face
and pretty girl? One you squeeze to get
cider and the other you get side her to
squeeze.
A Nebraska girl graduated with an es-
say on s'the possibilities of the broom. :"
Her husband will go into the afray fairly
warned.
Professor of chemistry-Gentlemen, 1
hold in my hand vial of soda. What
chemical shall combine with it to pro-
duce a valuable article of commerce?'
Student (waking -''Brandyl
Cumso-So McCrackle is dead, eh?
Fangle-Yes, poor fellow. Was his life
insured? Cumso-For $4,000, l believe
Fangle-Why, thought you couldn't in
sure anything for more than its value.
Mamma said little Edith, 'sdo peo-
pies what get drownded ever go to heav-
emp sWhy, what put that idea into
your head? Of course they do" s'Well,
mamma, 1 s'pose you know, but it always
says in the paper when man gets drown
ed that 'he sank to rise no more"
Cnufcnly-1 gave LEA. snapper S1U
this morning for the Kangaroo Mission
Church in Homicide alley. Mrs. Church
ly-Oh, Arthur. how good you are. l
wish l could do something for the mis-
sion. Churchly-Wait till they start the
foundation, my dear, and then you can
contribute some of that angel cake of
yours for the corner stones.
Don't let that cold of yours run You think
it is light thing But it may run into catarrh Or
into pneumonia. Or Consumption.
Catarrh is disgusting. Pneumonia is dangerous.
Consumption is death itself.
The breathing apparatus must be kept healthy
and clear of all distractions and offensive matter.
Otherwise there is trouble ahead.
All the diseases of these parts, head, nose, throat
bronchial tubes and lungs, can be delightfully."- and
entirely cured by the of Bosehee's German
Syrup. If you don't know this already, thousand DIS
and thousands of people tell you. They have
been cured by and ''know how it Is, themselves
Bottle only rs cents. Ask any druggist.