St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-02-23
&c Goes Out West and Makes the Ac-
quaintance of Tiller of
the Soil,
Who Lets the Humorist Into the Mys-
teries Of a Bucolic
Existence.
Now the "war Debt Is Coopered He
Wants Congress to Take Hack
at His"

whose name | do not know, writes Bill
Nye in the New York World. He was
not railroad hog or / would have re-
scented it. He was built wide and he
couldn't help it, so l fOrgave him.
He had large, gentle, kindly eye,
and when he desired TO spit he went TO
the ear door. opened it and decorated
the entire outside of the train, forget
ting that our speed would help to give
scope to his remarks.
Naturally as he sat there by my side.
holding on tightly 10 his ticket, and evil
IDENTITY afraid that the conductor would
forget to come and get ii, began to
figure out in my mind what might be
his business. He had pounded one
thumb so that the nail was black where
the blood had settled under it. This
might happen to shoemaker, carpen-
ter, blacksmith or most any one else.
So it didn't help ne out much. though
il looked to me as though it might have
been done by trying to drive a fence
nail through leather hinge with the
back of an AK. and nobody but
farmer would try TO do that. Fol
lowing up the cue | discovered that
knew was right. The man who milkS
before daylight in dark barn, when
the thermometer is down TO 2S deg. be-
low. and who hits his boots and misses
the pail by reason of the cold and the
uncertain light and the prudiShneSS of
the COW. is a marked man. He cannot
conceal the fact that he IS farmer I'M
less he removes that badge. So started
out on this theory. and remarked that
L. ln.,,s.
Oh stock.
The thought was not original with me,
for have heard il expressed by others
either in this country or in Europe. He
said il would.
My cattle has gone through mOwful
o hay since October, and eleven ten o
brand Hay don't seem 10 have the
goodness to it tibet it he'd last year. and
with their new process griSS mills they
jerk all the juice out o brand. SOS you
might as well feed COWS with excelsior
and upholSter your horses with hemlOck
bark as to buy brand"
well. why do you run so much
stock? Why don't you try diversified
farming and rotation of cropS?"
We'll, prob'ly you got that idee in
the papers. 4 man that earns big
wages writing Farm Hints for agricult-
ural papers can make more money with
a soft lead pencil and two or three sea-
SOn-crdcked ideeS like that'n | can car
rying of EN- out on the farm. We used
TO have Teller in the drug store in our
town that wrote such good pieces for
the Rural NermOnter, and made up
such good condition powder out of
his own head, that two years ago we
ASKED HIM TO RITE A NESSAY
for the annual meeting of the Buck
wheat Trust. and to use his own judg-
ment about choice of subject. And
what do you SpOSe he had selected for
a ncSSay that took the whole forenoon
to read?"
What subject, you mean?"
Yes"
"Give it up"
"Well, he'd wrote out that whole
blamed intellectual wad on the subject
OF The Inhumanity of Dehorning Hy-
draulic Rams How's that?"
That's pretty fair"
well. farmin' is like runnin' paper
in regards to some things. Every Teller
in the world will take and turn in and
tell you how to do it, even if he don't
know blame thing about it. There
amt a man in the United States to-day
that don't secretly think he can run airy
one if his other business busted
on him, whether he knows
the difference between new
mich cow and horse hayrake OF not.
We had one of them embroidered night
Shnt farmers come from town better n
three years ago. Been a toilet soap man
and done well, and SO he came out and
bought a farm that had nothing to it but
a fancy house and barn, a lot of
medder in the front yard and a
southern aspect. The farm was
no good. You couldn't raise a dis
nm a
Goes and gifts pas lie of slim-tailed,
yeller cows from New Jersey and aims
to handle cream and diversified farm
ing. Last year the cuSS sent a load of
cream over and tried to sell it at the new
creamatOry while the funeral and hol-
lercOst was goin' on. | may be sort of
chump myself, but | read my paper,
and don't &c left like that
"What are the prospects for farmers
in your state?"
"Well, they are pore. Never was so
pore, in TACT, Sence Eve BEN there.
Folks wonder why boys leaves the farm.
My boys left so as to get protected, they
said, and so they went into clothing
store, one of fem. and one went into
hardware. and one is talkin' protection
IN the legislature this winter. They
said that farmln' was gettin' to be like
fiShin' and huntin'. well enough for a
man that has means and leisure, but
they couldn't make livin' at ii, they
said. Another boy is in a drug store,
and the man that hires him saws he is a
royal Teller"
''Kind of castor royal feller," said,
with a shrek of laughter.
He waited until l had laughed all l
wanted to, and then he said:
1--WE always
HoLLORED FOR HIGH TARIFF
In order to hyst the public debt. but
now that we've got the national debt
coopered | wish they'd take a little
hack at mine. Pve put in fifty years
farmin'. / never drank ticker in any
form. I've worked from ten to eighteen
hours day, been economical in cloZe
and never went to show morn dozen
times in my life, raised family and
learned upward of 200 calves to drink
out of a tin pail without blowing all
their vittleS up sleeve. My wife worked
alongside O. me sewin' new seats on the
boys pants, Skimmin' milk and helpin'
me load hay. For forty years we toiled
along together and hardly got time to
look into each others faces or dared to
stop and get acquainted with each
other. Then her health failed. Ketched
cold in the spring house, prob'ly scim-
min milk and washin' pans and scaldin'
pals and spankin' butter. Anyhow,
she took in long breath one day while
the doctor and me was watchin' her,
and she says to me, Henry says she.
I've got chance to rest and she put
one tired, WORKOUT hand on top of the
other tired, WORKOUT hand, and knew
she'd gone where they don't work all
day and do chores all night.
took time to kiss her then. I'd been
too busy for good while previous to
that, and then l called IN the bows.
After the funeral it was too much for
them to stay around and eat the kind of
cOokin' we had to put up with, and no