West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1888-01-19
Dry uunOr.

III IlhiilOls
William l.. Marcy, Secretary of State
during the administration of President
Pierce, had q dry humor in which he
often INDUCED, though he seldom
laughed. A lawyer OF Richmond, Va,
Mr.. II. O.. Scott, applied for the con-
sulship at Rio dc Janeiro. The place
had been promised him, but the nomin-
alton was delayed so long that Mr.
Scott, becoming inpatient, visited
Washington TO see what caused his ap-
pointment to chang fire" Calling on
Mr.. Marcy, he frankly said that he was
embarrassed by the uncertainty and
tired of the delay, and wished to be
plainly told what no might expect.
Mr.. S OFT, said the Secretary, in
dry, hard tone, for every bough Of the
top of tic tree of appointment-fo the
mission plenipotentiary, for example
there are about one hundred applicants;
for the middle boughs, the secretaries
of legation, there arc about three hun
dred applicants, and for the lower
limbs Of the consulship there are about
one thousand applicants.
Those holding on to the uppel
boughs expect, if they fail, TO catch
upon the boughs of the secretaries, and
those disappointed in obtaining them
hope to catch on the limbs of consul
ships.
"For the place o. plenipotentiary bit
one of the hundred can be appointed,
and the ninety and nine falling upon
the next boughs increase the number Of
applicants to 80. For the latter, but
one can be appointed, and thus 395 fall
upon the cOnsulships, increasing the
number Of applicants TO 1893. You
can, therefore, calculate your chances
for the consulship at Rio"
Then, sir, answered the astonjshed
and dismayed Scott, 81 may rs we'll go
home to my clients, and quit the bust
ness Of Office begging! and he rose to
his feet.
But, Mr.. Scott, resumed Mr. Mar
cv mOt.oniug TO him to resume his sent
II have advised the President that the
failure TO obtain the higher Office
should not give a lien on the lower
Office, thus your chance will remain ns
one to @ thousand only for O consul.
ship"
"Well, that chance i8 not worth wa.
iDg for and III 20 hOmc," said Scott
Whom you do answered The Socro
tory, with q twinkle of his eye, ego and
prepare Tor your passage Co Rio, for
you appointments already determined
Up0n.f
Thcn tho Secretary fat sides shook
with Dis enjoyment Of SCOTS Joyful
surprise.
'Ir ever got married Dob N church agoin
you can call mc goat" said o. bashfu
man The c'lcr day. What's the matt y
uOWf' h.a1N enough. ~ De retortod. aud
n' seemed On got angry as De thought off 10
u4a uIuInd not long ago. aud as mt
WIGS p1iNufs were pillars of the church b.
bad tO como on ihcre. So ihoy Thought
NrI. ono repairs we're being made in tho
church, s9 ih. marriage took place iu ha
Sunday school room. Ilcreg whore tlo
Whole truaII. came in Wc stool on uc
platform HHrra fho superintendent desk
stood. ..I before tie minister got started
acHe.l a great many people smiling bon
tHe audience 0iIut know what io make
~ g. II.t $50 seemed 60 De- LOOKING over
ur hood. 7 never said anything 900 Uo
DING done. Men + turned round ard
looked uU. What do you think T sass,
I.nht over aIf bonds. audi it said, 0Unnf
lu.a Children ID como unto mo. sntthlf
oro1tn i3 mako uan euryt"
Iyotorsr gmu 90 wouid respect.
fp'Ig your Uh,o hand marriage.
si hel tLor in inlI uaut surprise
"h't Nou en tl mlrrf mF daughter
IulIrnn. Fo1Ha ua3 soInenhH' Hurried
sos ir W-WhY not lou don't know
| anything wrong viii hcr. 90 foal'