Morning journal and courier., 1888-05-04
TRUTHFEL.

Women are naturally truthful, especially when they are talking about another woman that they don't tlike.-Somerville Journal.
 ''Is that your dog, squildig ," "Yes, fae animal, too. Here, Rover" Whistles for him. ssHe doesn't appear to obey you very we'll" ''Oh, that shows he's pure breed. He's tarrier, you see. "-Pittsburg Chron- icle.
 A fond mother called the other day upon President Patton of Princeton and asked anxiously if her son would be well taken care of at college. Said Dr. Patton: Madam, we guarantee satisfaction or return the boy."- Harpers Weekly.
 "Will you please give me something, sira" begged 8 tramp.
 Certainly" responded the gentleman inn portuned; "I am a police justice and if you will step around to my office I will give you thirty days."-Life.
 "You never find me hiding my light under a bushel," remarked MT. McSwilligen in the course of discussion with his wife.
 "You don't need to-" was the somewhat aerid reply, "a quart measure is quite large enough. ."-Pittsburg Chronicle.
 The declaration of Bishop Foster to the Vermont conference "that he would as soon pray for a plague to come into his church as for an evangelist" reminded us of the em- phatic declaration of Bishop Fowler to the Maine conference: sfPreach sanctifeation, but not rehabilitation. .'-Zion's Herald.
 Glow late Mir. Tswker stayed" ''He would have stayed till now if I hadn't sent him off fsI hope you did it politely, Peggy.h "Oh, yes. He was complaining ct having to be at the bank so early in the morning, and I only looked up at the clock and said in surprise: Why! Do you go te business in your dress suitP P"-Life.
 A little girl was sent across the street to a .s- |, c.. v5bi oh ha neighbor owned had ceased to give milk for the time and there was none to be had. 'sThere is no milk to-day" said the little girl on her return No milk" said her mother. :' Whats the matter }" "She didn't tell me what was the matter" was the reply, s'but guess the COW ain't laying just now."-Boston Courier.
 ''Are you the horse editora" inquired an in nocent-looking woman, approaching the desk of that functionary 1T have that pleasure, miss," he replied, taking off his hat. 'Car you answer all sorts of questions about hors- esl' "Well, I rather think I can,' he said with prideful swell in his bosom. ''Oh, Tn so glad" she twittered. "Will you tell ms the difference between bay horse and @ ses horsea" As she went out of the office she smiled back at him, but he sat gloomily a his desk and said nothing.-WashingtoI Critic.
 The Boston lady in the South who hal favored the Listener heretofore with some glances at plantation life in the Gulf State' sends the following as illustrating the idea O education formed from the field hand stand point: Uncle Clinton, who is power among the people on the plantation, is dissatisfied with the colored school teacher. Upon my asking him the reason of his dissatisfaction he said; 'fLa, bless you, miss, dis teachers { no account teacher, nohow. My Grant h' went to de las teacher we had three week. and got a very good edgercation. But m, Sis aad Tip have been to dis one two day. and dey ain't Earned deir letters!"-Bostor | Transcript.
 gay young coquetts is Miss Julia With hattery seeks she to rulia; But 'twere best to beware Else you'll find that, though fair, This maiden is seeking to fulia.