West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1888-02-02
ARMSTRONG'S LESSON.

hhmp Il nONU - LECCUN,
In the early days Of California-the
olden days OF gold, or the golden days
oil old, aS you please-in certain miners
camp on luba River there lived queer
genious named Armstrong. lie was an
honest miner, not differing materially
from his fellows, excepting That he had
curious habit OF talking TO himself
From the simple rca on that lie dena-tcd
from the common custom in IA S one par.
tcular he was OF course voted crazy bv
the other miners. To call all persons
crazy who do not follow the customs
OF the ma GRITTY is a constant habit with
men. But day after day Armstrong
worked away with his p elk and shovel
caring nothing Tor the remarks of MS
ncighborS, and seeming to wish for no
partner In his tolls or rest save the in
visible parsonage whom he ALWAYS al
dressed in the second person singular
and with whom he was almost i'm close
and earnest conversation. The drift OF
his talk while at work would be as fol.
lows:
'RatheF tough wo k, Armstrong
dirt, though-grub $lsa pound-no
time TO waste pitch in, sir-hangcd il
don't wish / WAS IN the States. This
innings mighty hard work. Nonsense
Armstrong; what fool you are to be
talking that way, wi IA three ounces a
day right under our feet, and nothing
TO do but ust to dig il out"
Ills conversation would be duly pune
tuatcd with strokes of the pick and lifts
OF the loaded shovel. And so the DAYS
would pass along. and Armstrong worked
and slept and talked with his invisible
partner. Well, it happened in due cours
OF time that the class human vampires
commonly called gamb crs made their
appearance at the camp where Armstrong
had been working. As lie was not above
following the EXAMPLE o. his fellows. he
paid the newcomers visit. Ii is the same
old story. After watching The oam,
awhile lac concluded it was the simplest
thing in the world. 30 he tried his luck
and w0n-$l00! Now, any new cx-
perience would set Armstrong TO think
ing and talking to himself worse than
ever. 1t was SO this lime. Now. Arm
strong, he said, rs he hes,ated about
go ng to work the next morning, that
is the easiest $lC0 you ever made in vour
life. What's the use of your going into
hole in the ground to dig for three
ounces day! The fact is, Armstrong
kino OF work. Suppose you Just throw
away your pick and shovel. lea the
mines, buy suit OF store clothes. dress
mp like born gentleman, and 90 at some
business that suit your talent"
Armstrong was not long in putting
these thoughts and sayings into action.
lie left the diggings and invested i'm fine
clothes. He locked like another man,
but he was still the same Armstrong.
nevertheless. He was not long i'm finding
an opportunity 10 try new profession
walking forth in his fresh outfit he had
just concluded long talk with himself
about his bright prospects when he
halted in front Of large tent with sim
over 1T: "Miners Rest " Armstrong went
in. 1t did not seem 20 him that he re
mained very long bu, il was long enough
TO work a wonderful revolution in hi;
feelings When he came out he WIS
changed man-that is to saw. he was
'changeless" man. lie was thunder
struck, amazed, ewildercd. He had lost
his money, lost his new prospect, lost his
sef-conceit-lost everything but u 8 new
clothes and habit Of talking TO himself
IL Is useless 10 say that he was mad.
Armstrong was very mad. But there was
no one 90 be NAL at but Armstrong him
self, 50 self number two was in fora rough
lecture.
''Now, Armstrong you ere nice
spccimen-you fool You blk youdcad.
beat-you inf" We'll, / need not nc.
peat all the hard thing, he said Like
King Richard, he found within himself
no pity for himself"
But more words were not Sufficient.
IL was n time for action. But Amstrong
mo- fHsr J.. I.f ..f a.
ing, hanging or any other form Of ,uicid5
He was altogether too Original, as well
as too sensible FOR that Yet me was rc
solved on something real and pract cal I'm
the way OF reiOrmalory puni .hmcut. lie
felt tho need of self imposed decree of
bankruptcy that should render the failure
s. complete as possible, and prevent
.similar course in thc future.
SO the broken firm % 'ArmstrOng g.
Self went forth iu med tltion long and
deep Some Of his thoughts were almost
too deep for uticraucc. BIT finally ho
stood by the dusty road along which the
great iroightinQ wagons were hauling
suppl es 10 The mining camp up the Sacr-
mento. one OF these wagons. drawn hv
SIX yoke Of oxen. was Just passipV
Snap, snap snap. in slow Irregular succcs.
sion, came the keen ting reports of tho
long Missouri ox whip. ",j lang uIang
wO-hawl shouted the TALL dust DE
grlmcd dnveras hc swung his whip and
cast o sidc'ong glance 40 the broken firm.
wondering "What all them store clothes
was a doin' thar" Now. whcn Ann
strong saw the long column of white
dust rising behind that wagon ho was
taken with au idea So hc shouted TO thc
driver 70 know 81 he might be allowed TO
walk in the road behind the wagon
"Gct in and hide. said the driver
NO said Armstrong, rI wish TO
walk
"Thcn walk, You crazy fool. was the
accommodating response as thc driver
swung bis whip.
Then came the tug OF war Greek
never met Greek more ferccly than dH
the two con,cHdiuQ spirits COMPOSING
the firm Of Armstr0nE s. SELF 40 tha
particular moment
How, Armstrong, said tho impe
rious head Of the hrm you git right