St. Landry democrat., 1888-06-16
FULL OF FUN.

-MluHIe- Tapa, WnaC Is Ola
puk?" Papa-''Why. it's the uni
versal language. Minnie - 'Bu
who speaks itP' Papa-''Nobody. "
Binghampton Republican.
Restaurant "Whew! The
cook must have dropped hel
vinaigrette into the short-cake. "
Waiter-'I guess you've struck 6
strawberry, sab. '-Omaha World.
-"Snagsby, you are presuming
upon my credulity. You never killed
one hundred and fifty rabbits in one
day." wilkins. | assure you have
not deviated a hare from the truth. u
Chicago Tribune.
An Irishman took the cars al
Boston for Worcester. On jumpin 2
from the cars he remarked that eff he
had known he could have made the
journey in so short a time he would
have walked afootr'
-Blenkins says he thinks he knows
where most of the pins 60 to. He
made the discovery the other night
when he was doing the "Infant
Patrol' in his bare feet
There is a man, he said, ''who
you would scarcely think is making a
handsome income by his pen.' u
certainly would not" was the reply;
che looks any thing but literary
But he does; he is a dime museum
e., l.,
T. Sua
-Countryman Ito furniture dealer)
IL want to git a bed an a mattress. "
Dealer-''Yes, sir; spring bed and
spring mattress, s'pose. sir?" Coun.
tryman-'.No; I want that kind that
kin be used all the year around. -
Epoch.
Haven't you got any more fig
gers in marble?' asked old Mrs. Bent
ley of the attendant at the Museum of
Art. mo, mum these are all. Is
there any one you are looking after?"
''Yes; want to see the statue of limi-
tations I've heard John read so much
about. "-Judge.
Mistress of the House Ito grocer's
boy)-''Tell your employer to send
boy better dressed next time. Boy
There amt no boy in town better
dressed nor what am. The grocer
dresses me three or four times a day,
and when l gifts home dad gives me a
dressin' down too" Texas Sytings.
According to Don't you must
never heed any little accident you
should happen to meet with when out
any where. 1t looks vulgar When
you unwittingly sit down upon q lady's
very best bonnet. don't appear con-
cerned. but smile pleasantly and act
as if nothing had happened. Other
wise. it would appear as if you thought
it the only bonnet she had. It'd Bits.
My little boy is wonderfully po-
litc," said doting mother the other
day. And yet it is recorded of the
very polite little boy that he left a
lady standing in the hall of his
mothers home one day while he went
the rounds of the house and grounds
yelling at the top of his voice:
Mother. mother. where be you?
Where be you. Isay? The new min
ister's wife is here and forgot to tell
her you wasn't home. "-Kingston
Freeman.
Now, Lizzie, said rual mother
to her daughter, who was about to
make her first visit to the city, "when
you git to your Uncle Johns house
you must keep your eyes open. like l
did when was there, SOS not to make
any mistakes and appear green. And
l tell you now that you mustn't pour
your coffee out into your sasser and
blow it like us old-fashioned folks does
here at home; no, Lizzie, you must
blow it. in the cup And don't eat
pie and pertat oes and such things
with your knife; use a spoon. I'd be
dretfully 'shamed if I thought you'd
make any mistake fore your uncle's
fo ks "-Rarper' Bazar.
-