The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1888-03-21
LAUGH AND BE MERRY
4 Chapter Of Bright FsBGiss From the Pea
Ct the Genial SarGslte.
How TO Manage SerVzrts-rhe Pangs of
AuthOrship-My First Funny Story
Caught on the Fly-A Cow
STdly InsinoAJiOn.
Written for the Sentinel.
Copyrighted, 1855. /

knsck Of managing. There is a great deal
in managing a servant in such a way that
the minion isn't aware of it. But some
people don't know how to do this, and
consequently a servant that is a jewel in
my Well-regulated household is utterly
useless IN my neighbours service. Now,
not long ago had occasion to part with a
colored man. / didn't want to Cast him
cut upon the cold world, because feared
that if the world got too cold he would
come back to me. So Iunloaded him upon
a neighbor. l never had q ripple of
trouble with him. had employed
him cstensibly to groom the horse occa
siorallv and NOW the lawn once or twice
year. soon learned that he was run.
ming an Africsn cOrmiiCry and g poker
layout IN my stable, and the general aO-
peeTence of Uy premises finally brought
ne letters from the American Missionary
Union, asking permission to establish one
Of their Congo out stations between nay
barn and the kitchen. This, as much es
anything else, induced me to part with
Albert. He shipped with me under the
non de plume of Albert Wilson, but no.
ticed that some Of the natives called him
Lame Jake" and he requested me, In
writing his letter Of recommendation to call
him Thompson Easley. By and by my
Norton, you sent me-dld you ever have
any trouble with him." l said, "NO,
never" "Well," said my neighbor, ~
can't get along with him. He won't do
one thing l tell him, not thing" "Oh,
WELL" said, "he tried that on me, too
when he first came, but 1 settled that in
short order" How did you mausgs2'
asked my neighbor. well" told him,
II quit telling him to do anything" And
co you know my neighOor was real
angry with me, and abused me,
ard said L was a fool and had de-
ceived him. You sse, ne had no tact.
That very night Albert landed on my
coast again. He conided to me that his
real name was James Sinclair, and he
brought with him his brother, whom be
introduced as Walter Taylor. They took
up their ola quarters in the barn, and
boarded with me week before / was able
10 secure them places in the county Jail.
They both left me with sincere regret, and
Albert said, in parting, that any time
wanted him to come back, a letter i'd
dressed to Charles Martin would reach
Mn. Albert was saddle colored pagan,
but he was the richest man in names
ever worked for.
TIE PANGs OF AUTHORSHIP.
Nobody but Us literary people knows
how closely grows the ATTACHMENT between
TIE author and his characters. 1t is re-
lated OF Mrs. Harriet Beecher Stowe that
when, from the pages of her manuscript,
she read the death of little Eva, the entire
family sat bathed in tears, nor could one
OF them speak a word, but all mourn.
fully separated, going to their roome
Is though they had Just attended the
funeral of a dear friend. Some friends
met Thsckersy on the street one day,
and his coutenance bore traces of intense
grief "What is the matter?h they asked.
a. have Just killed Colonel Newcome," he
sobbed, bursting into tears, as he hurried
away. Charles Dickens had the same ex.
perience. So did l. Mine was even more
narrowing. When I wrote my first funny
story about Mr.. Bilderback going up on
the roof to shovel of the snow, and making
an avalanche Of himself and sliding down
into a water barrel, / was almost heart
broken, didn't Kill Mr.. Bilderback my
self Alb, indeed, l hadn't the
heart TO do that. The mansg-
ing editor, that dear, considerate
soul, saw how felt about it, and he killed
him for me. He also killed all the other
dear, loving, gentle characters in the
sketch. And IS l was leaving he remarked
that he would kill NE il ever came back
with any more such stuff. He meant it,
too. People who saw me coming out of the
otice scIspiDg dust, ard lint, and pine sliv-
ers and geuts Of paste of, my back. saw at
once, by my grisf-strioken face, that some
thing had happened. But could not tell
them what. My poor, bursti ne heart was
too full.
JUST CAUGHT on TIE FLY.
1t is true, my son, there is always room
at the top, bat nobody wants it when he
goes 10 hotel.
Remember when in college that the best
sculler or the curviest pitcher often stands
at the foot of his class.
The woman whose head is turned by
fattery would feel much hatter If she
heard what is said wnen her back is turned.
Women do not swear, but the profanest
man in America would give S. II he could
initiate the expression of good woman
when she hits her thumb with the hammer,
and says, Mercy on me-"
man dreamed that his mother~in law
was dead. and laughed aloud IN his sleep.
The next morning she came to his house
with three trunks, vapor bath, a foot
muff, and two pugs. Now he does not dare
TO 90 to sleep, and when he falls into a
doze from exhaustion he shrieks with
fright and awakes. He is afraid he will
have another cream.
CowARDLY IEsINUATIoE.
docs your COW cringe and curl, ;" asks
the New England Farmer, land appear
nervous and fdgety when you sit down to
milk her." Well. lot much, she doesn't.
She isn't that kind OF q COW. She isn't
one of your shy, timid, bsshful COWS.
She lust likes her eyes on vacancy with q
glare that will raise a blister on an oak
knot, sticks her tail straight up in the air,
stiff as poker, plants three feet firmly on
the ground, and then feels around with
the other for the milk pail, milk stool,
milk maid; finds them: fires them up
somewhere into the blue empyrean, and
remarking, "Ha, hAl" amid the shouting,
jumps over q six-rail fence, and tramples
down an acre of young garden. Don't
talk about cringiDg and curling to q COW
that has TO be MIXED with pipe, line, and
pumping station.
LIBERALITY OF CORPORATIONS.
Talk about corporations having no souls
Here only few days ago an employe who
had been twenty years in the Office of a
superintendent Of a certain express COM
pan found upon his return from his we'd
ding tour an envelop addressed TO him
Of the company" Wasn't that grand2
Wasn't that Christian and soulful in the
company Wasn't 1T, now? Tell you it
was. p. 81 thought, the other day,
when / had to pay that company S. for
carrying package worth sixty cents down
into the next county that IL was going to
make some wedding present to somebody.
DOMESTIC THEATRIcALs.
"Biil, tell ye what les do. You git In