The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1888-01-21
The Local LOunger.

mo dances or parties lair,
1.-The 'ads' are spare and lank and lean,
paid local is sawed and cut between
The time Of year and the solitude
"Aye, of news and cash alike I'm nude"
Sad was the song that the editor sung,
In the cellars dsrkened gloom;
His brain was cracked and his knees were
sprung,
His eyes far out Of their sockets hung,
Hehewled dirge with thickened tongue,
And he talked like shackled loon.
"Oh, write Of the man who has taken his
.sd'
And his business from our door;
Pull out his teeth and walk on his ear,
"And kick him around on the floor.
"Look into his private matters, jim
call his mother an Injun' bag,
"Unravel his family history,
make the floor OF his reason sag.
"Give a column or two, my boy,
"To the man who wants his cash,
-Let him know what it is to experience
"Our method of cooking mems hash.''
And the editor turned in the dark and
gloom,
With grin of delight on his phil,
While the city man marvelled-oh, deeply,
At his method Of getting '"biz."
*x*
So Diphtheria has appeared again In o.
tswa. This is decidedly impudent on the
part of Diphtheria when one recalls the
fact that the health officer has been warn.
ing it lat 10c. line) not to put in an ap-
pearance here. Diphtheria doesn't seem
to have subscribed for the Journal, and so
couldn't have read any of those 700 or 800
lines of warning the health committee have
published for Its benefit
By the way, since the city has "publiC
printer" why doesn't the executive com.
pei the committees to use it at the contract
price, BY what authority does the health
officer or any other officer place public an
nouncements in any other than the legally
appointed citys official paper? They have
none And if any one should pay for such
notices in the Journal, it should be the man
who ordered them placed there and not in
the official city paper.
The telegraph says the Illinois River
improvement bills, referred to the congress
sional committee on railroads and canals,
have been given in charge OF our member,
Col. Ralph Plumb. We may, therefore,
expect them to hustle right along. We
haven't heard that river front property has
advanced materially as yet; but with Col.
Plumb in charge of the business In Con.
gress the "bears" had better stand from
under.
Some men have funny careers There is.
for instance. Richard X. Fox, the editor of
the Police Gazette and the noted patron of
the prize ring He began hiC newspaper
career as writer on religious paper in
Dublin and came to this country with but
5000 in his pocket. He started the Police
Gazette at the suggestion of Tom Sampson,
chief detective of the sub.treasury. His
income from the paper is now $500, 900 an.
nually. From the religious press to the
Police Gazette is quite tumble, indeed
But Col Plumb, railroad builder, and so
forth, winds up his brilliant career as man.
ager of a gigantic canal scheme!
Ottawa is threatened with an outbreak
of diphtheria-Free Press.
Oh, no; only an outbreak of diphtheria
editorials at 10c. line.
Down In La Sale they seem to need a
shaking up If the story be true that comes
from Peru, that one day this week men,
Der of the school board made a visit TO his
charge in beastly state of inebriety and
made disgusting exhibition of himself
before the pupils. This method of kin
dergarten teaching of the effects of bad
whisky may be effectual, but it is hardly
n be recommended as part of the regu.
lar school work.
The attack of Parks of the Joliet Erprsss
on the city official whom he charged with
drunkenness and bad conduct resulted In
his arrest on Friday last on the fictitious
charge of drunkenness. On his hearing,
Saturday, no one appeared against him and
the case was dismissed The states attor-
ney is now having the matter investigated
by the grand jury. The arrest has been
the making of Parks. His arrest has in
censed all parties the chief of police
finds his bondsmen deserving him as does
the mayor, and both have difficulty 10 get
ting new ones. On the whole, Joliet seems
to have pretty bad local government But
in Joliet the tables are turned There the
trouble is to save the press from the city;