Mountain Home bulletin. (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1888-1889, 1888-11-24
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
Como Lively Excerpts From . Witis-Awaks
Frontier Publication.

some Lively Excsrpts From . wltis-Awaks !
Frontier Publication.
ADVICE GaArIs. have word or
two Of advice to those people who are
the town for subscriptions
to build achurch. Get. your congre-
cation before you get your building.
We've taken the town directory and
gone slap throash it from cover to
cover, and we haven't lighted on the
name Of one single individual who has
got religion enough to drive a mule
forty rods.
We refused to chip in for church,
but will contribute ten dollars to get
Lampas Jake, the revivalist. down
here. We want him TO come here and
Lell the people that they are the mean
est. wickedest. low-down. shack-nasty
lot Of heathens in America, and that
not one OF thom stands any more show
Of getting TO Heaven than jack-rabbit
does Of outrunning chain lightning. II
Jake can knock any Of the dirt off and
get down to the cuticle and scare thun-
der out OF enough citizens to hold q
prayer meeting, we'll go in for church
building with whoop.
SOCIETY NOTES. Mayor Jim Gibbons
and wife. of Jerusalem Hill, are va
cating in the mountains. These are
the only two inhabitants who are able
to take an outing this summer, and
they couldn't have gone If they hadn't
lodged a dozen creditors and borrowed
seven dollars OF us. Well bet four to
one they beat their board bill when
they get ready to return.
To THE TRADE.-The Kicker would
be willing to take column adver-
tisement from some Eastern drug
louse in exchange for one hundred
pounds OF insect powder and ons
hundred blow-guns. There seems
TO be nervousness on the part OF
our people against asking our local
druggists for the stuff. bat there would
be no hesitation In calling ut this Office
AS the publisher OF family newspaper
we seem to boget confidence. Please
leave your orders at an early date.
Go HENCE! The lop-eared monstros
tty who claims to edit the Prairie Sta,
has been so jealous of the phenomenal
success OF the Kicker that he hasn't en-
ioyed his whisky for the last three
months. In his last issue he claim.
that our circulation does not reach 100
and that We arc carrying sixteer col
umns OF dead ads. We hereby publist
our affidavit that our circulation is Is,
copies weekly. and constantly growing
aud as for dead ads, that's our business
We have discovered that the people o
this town can extract more comfor
out of n patent medicine ad than from
a two-column sketch by Trollope, an,
it is our business to please the masses
A REMINDER. Our birthday occnr.
next week Frld ny that being our thir-
ty-fifth-and any little reminder sen
in by the public will be warmly appre
ciated. We stand in need OF shirts
socks. neckties, collars, ETC., and 1t ha
been suggested that the ladies organic,
and contribute to a generous outfit.
Some OF our friends declare that. i
view of what the Kicker has done 70
this locality, purse of $l00 should b
presented to us by the men. We shoul
be thankful, OF course. and more thank
ful, If it was made $3.50. An edito
should be modest, however, and W
simply throw out these few suggestion
without any thought of being personal
P. S. We wear a No. Is collar an
the shirts should be full in the back.
MORE WIND.-Prof. Rose. who hi
this town last spring to get up a clas
in music. and who has been here on hi
uppers ever since, doesn't like our wa
of dealing with him. Because we sug
gested last week that he quit dead
beating and pick up the pick or shovel
he is around town calling us q fugitiv
from Justice and asking why the polio
don't do something.
Gently. Professor. When we lei
Xenia, o., the sheriff patted us on tn
back and lent us half a dollar. We ar
the only man in this town who doesn'
turn pale whom tho stage comes in, ant
the only one who doesn't break TO
the sage brush when it is announced
that the United States Marshal is here
We amt rich or pretty. but we ore
good, and the Professor is barking w
the wrong tree. We don't bear hin
any ill-will. but the Professor must re
tract his statements about us or vel
drop line to Pinkerton asking II Yale
Jim, alias Prof. Rose, isn't wante,
somewhere. Free Press.