Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1888-05-04
AN OBNOXIOUS BEAU.
BILL NYe ADVISES A YOUNG LADY
WHAT TO 90.
Ho Suggests Judicious Use Of .
Younger Brother-ssd Music Recon-.
msaded-Avoid Laughing at Ills Funny
storiss.Other Plans.

msaded-Avoid Laughing ut Ills Funny
storfse--Other Plans.
BosIoS, Feb. "a. 1887.
NM NYH-I have enjoyed all your writings In
The Globe ever 80 much, and noticing that you
have given great deal of advice free, thought
that possibly you would toll me the best method
Of getting rid of an impertinent young man,
whose room Ia much preferable 70 his company.
Hoping that do not intrude on your valuable
time. Yours truly,
You do not say why you wish to get rid
of the young man, nor do you state what
Is the matter with him; whether he is o
poor conversationalist or too fluent in that
line; whether the first two joints of his
finger and thumb are yellow with cigar
cite stains, or what his leading character.
istics are. Possibly he has fatty degener.
alton Of the thinker.
However, you say he is an impudent
young man, and l infer that you have
gone through the preliminaries of gentle
scorn and such things as that. Now,
what shall we do to make him fully I'M
derstand that you do not want him to re-
main'
Perhaps you have such n thing as a
younger brother about the house. If so,
bring him in and let him toy with the
young man few hours. You can excuse
yourself while you ostensibly put on your
other dress, and if you delay long enough
you can cause the young man great deal
Of intense suffering You can take the
right kind OF younger brother, with in
fammatory hair and white eyes and warts
on his thumbs and season cracks in the
backs Of his hands, and if you properly
'sick" the boy on his prey and fasten the
door securely you can come back In an
hour and dc anything you want to with
that young man. i know this To he true,
for have been the young man myself.
have also been the boy.
OTHER INDIGNITIEs.
l have known young man who in
tested house that way TO be eradicated
by means Of very sad music. They do not
die in the house.
Another plan would be TO avoid laugh
ing at his funny anecdotes. Wait till he
gets through with his anecdote and looks
up in your eyes for twinkle Of merri-
ment That is the time to refrain from
tyinkling. Wait till he gets TO the nub
of the joke, as it were, and pricks up his
ears to listen for q wild burst of silvery
laughter. That is the time 20 hang on 70
your silvery laughter. 1t will give him a
panied expression of countenance, and
you will see him soon after look at his
watch. When he completes his story,
suddenly wake up and ask him il that is
oil. Few men con endure this for over
two weeks
OF course there are other and more
radical methods Of accomplishing the re-
suit you wish, but these are the ones more
common in the best society. ! naturally
supposed that you wanted the methods
used in the best society, or you would
have gone elsewhere instead Of coming
to me-
Should you finally wish to he more Sc
were, however, you can invite young
girl TO i've present during the young mans
stay. j would suggest that this young
girl he a nuent tallzer oa the subject OF
clothes. IL you both keep tie talk going
pretty VOL while the young man looks at
through n stereoecope that hasn't any pic
lures in it, you will soon have his pachy.
derrnic pelt on tho fence.
BARE POSSIBILITY.
But there is bare possibility that this
young man is in love with You, and would
think it humorous even if you were TO fill
him full OF fine shot In that case do
not know what you oaght TO do Love is
a strange missive. 1t goes where it is
net sent and it refuses TO go whore it is
sent.
If You could get him away by himself,
It would be we'll enough, perhaps, TO ask
him if he loves you. That's the way
would do. The quicker a Meter of that
kind is disposed OF the better. Ask him
in manly way If such Is the case and II
he really does love YOU, and has reason u
bcl!e'V uat you were paying attention to
him oil this tlne, you cannot IN honor de-
sert hin now.
DO not DC discouraged. Let me know
how you get on with the suggestions
have made above and l am confident we
will succeed
Have You ever tried wearing large,
tall hat with stuffed bluejay in il TO the
theatre and sitting in the seat just in
front Of Eim' Try il If you have not done
so already, and il you co not get rid Of
him, as well as great number of Law
aiding citizens, wrKs me and will sug
gsot something else,
Yours. truly, BILL Nyk