St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1888-03-31
COVINGTON ST IAMMAN PAklSf La, MAkCt
ODD EXPRESSIONS.
An Amasiag Coliseeson u vssSal 0a10 -
Elon0ero

ODD EXPRESSIONS.
An Amusing Collection oR vefool Du10 80
nluadefa
Curious ways of expressing ideas In
English may be expected from foreign
ers, ~. for instance, when the French
man. who paid call in this country
and was about to be introduced to
family, said: "Ah. ze ladies! Zen l
would before. if you please. wish I" Pur-
ify mine hands and to sweep mine
hair!"
But the various nationalities OF the
British isles are sometimes not whit
behind in verbal bulls and blunders and
in what may generally be described as
odd ways of putting things. 1t is SAID
that when Constable's aunt was dying
the good. deaf old lady said: "Anne.
if l should be spared to be taken away.
l hope my nephew will get the doctor
to open my head and see II any thing
can be done for my hearing"
A Scotch publican was complaining
of his servant-maid that she could never
be found when required: ''Shc'n gang
oot o. the house," said he. twenty
times for once She II come in. ;"
A Welsh landlord who for some time
had been annoyed by an obstreperous
guest, walked across the room to him
and striking the table with his fist.
shouted very volubly: You haf kick
up row all day ere tonight! We was
not interfere with you, do we? Efery
man here mind his own piziness; yes.
by Jink. no."
The beggar was verbally mixed who
thus accosted passcsr-by: ''Sir. would
you please give me = little money to
buy . bit Of bread. for I'm so dresdfully
thirsty that don't know where ! am to
get nights lodging?"
The same may be said Of . country
yokel who went to the n,enagerie to
examine the wild beasts. Several gen.
tleman expressed the opinion that the
orange-outang was lower order OF the
human species. Hodge did not like
this idea. and striding up to the gentle
man expressed his contempt for it in
these words: pooh! he's no more OF
the human species than be-"
..Mamma. is that spoiled child?''
asked little boy on seeing . negro
baby for the first time.
An amusing announcement was issued
by q corn-cutter from Leige: They
extarct the corns vidout the litest pain.
Cut males, deformed witch spreds in the
fieisch-by . new methode vidout pain.
They spokes French. Anglish. ltalien,
Spanitch. Portogcese, Dutch and Gar.
man vid equal fiuency and rites dem.
Over bridge in Georgia is the fol
lowing: ANY person driving over thi.
bridge in . pace faster than wall
shall, If a white man. be fined five dol
lars, and il a negro receive twenty-five
lashes. half the penalty to be bestowed
! ON the informer."
In a small town near Avignon tn
, houses in tho suburbs became flooded
up to the level Of the first floor. Al
enterprising resident distributed among
his ncighbors the following card: M
, Brochet, professor of swimming. ].
J prepared to give lessons at the pupir'
residence" The professor may b
said to have taken fortune at the flood,
A shop exhibits q card warning
every body against unscrupulous per
sons "who infringe our title to deceive
the public" We are afraid the shop
man does not say quite what he means
any more than the proprietor OF an eat
: ing-housc near the docks. on the doc
|, Of which may be read the followin,
) announcement. conveying fearful in
! tellipencc to the gallant tars who fre
. ouen. this port: Sailors vitals cooke'
here"
A clearinghouse keeper announces
n one of the newspapers that he has
. cottage to let containing eight room
and an acre Of land. A dealerin chcal
! shoes was equally ambiguous when h
. ,ounseled in one Of his advertisements
t .Ladies wishing these cheap shoes vii
. 10 well to call soon. - they will no
: ,st long" The sans may be said o.
n he following: This hotel will be KEEP
1 nv the widow OF the former landlord
: Who died last summer on . new An
= improved plan"
Scottish blacksmith. being asked
. The meaning Of metaphysics. replied
d "When the party wha listens disna Re
2 what the party wha speaks disna ke
= what he means himser-thass NETS
d pheesics."
= Perhaps as odd way OF Puttin
= n things as any Of the foregoing exam
n ples was furnished by little Parisia
" mendicant, who. following . gentl
.. man, said: Monsieur. give me ju
; a penny; Tn an orphan BY birth.
y The definition was worth ten centim'
= !. to her.-London Spectator.
II Cremate Your Love Letters.