davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-09-30
DONE IN TWO STROKES.
An English Barber Teaches a
Tourist to Suffer and Be Strong.

"That shave was luxury" said a
gentleman recently, as he stepped
down from the easy lounge in a New
York barber shop. He looked at him
self in the glass for moment, felt his
smooth chin, gave his mustache an
extra twist, and then remarked to a
Mail and Express reporter, who was at
that time undergoing the lathering
process: "I'll just tell you of shave
/ had in England few weeks ago.
was visiting friend of mine in small
country town. l can't shave myself,
and, as my face soon began to look
black, went out early one morning to
look for barber. After great search
and many inquiries l was directed to a
small cottage, on the door of which hung
a board with this sign painted Oh it:
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-09-30
WHERE Is SHE TONIGHT?

If she peneves In the Apostles creed,
the limitations of her sex and caste in
heaven as it is on earth, at $50 o'clock
she is tucked up in bed and sound
asleep. 1ulled to sweet dreams with
tears that still bedew her eyelashes.
The mere fact of earning her daily
bread does not, as in the conscience of
Mrs. Grundy it should, exterminate
within her plodding soul all of girls
natural cravings tor little fun-a bit
of sugar with the salt of daily labor.
Given st. Paul for her field,
boarding house for her home, a
minus quantity for her friends, what
are the amusements available to her?
The gaming table. the flowing bowl
that extend recreation, self-fOrgetful-
ness and no loss of responsibility to her
brother are entirely without the circle
of suggestions her yearning for diver
sion prescribes; also the sporting houses
that offer home comic It's to him have
no place even in her sires. She likes
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-09-30
WHERE IS THE GIRL?
The Advantages The Wander
ing Boy Possesses Over
+ His Sister.
A Church Myth Disproved
by a st. Paul Stenog-
rapher.
How Pauline Pry Was Led
to Sympathize With
HeathenS.
What the Wandering Girl
Must Do to Be
Saved.


MONG the many dis
heartening evidences
that wOman's import
ance is secondary to
mans in affairs at
large, is the fact that
while it has been
thought worthy to ask
i'll several stanZas, set
to music, Where is
my wandering boy
to-night?' nobody has
ever considered the
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-09-30
CURBSTONE STATUES
Matinee Washers Who Exist
Only to Ogle the Fair
Sex.
Three Stately DANES Who
Were Not Averse to Hav-
ing a Lark.
Flirted With His Feet While
Seated Around the
Table.
How Young Men Of the Pres
ent Day Affect to Be
Fast.

ATINEE was
just over, and
a m Ong tn e
crowd which
surged out up
Oh w abasha
street were a
couple of rath-
er cOnspicu-
uously dressed
females, whose
air of forced
'gaiety con-
:trasted but too
iviedently with
the tawdry fin
cry in which
they were be-
decked to mis-
take the true
position which
they occupied
in the social
scale. And vet
that position,
de IN e a n i II z
though il was
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-09-30
A POSSIBLE LEVEL.

de We're makes room for him in her pri-
vate box. will st. Peter himself dare
refuse him admittance? Ay di mi !!
Well may the wandering girl long for
the breeches-the passport of her
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-09-30

the iheater, but lacks male escort, and
though by the practice of self-denial in
some other direction she secure the
money to buy her own tickets, she may
60, say twice year-to a matinee on
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-07
How to Can Beef.

Beef may be canned in the following
manner: The meat is cooked by roast
ing, baking, or boiling, and either fresh
or corned. When we'll cooked it is cut
into suitable pieces and packed firmly in
the cans, without the heads, so that the
contents can be made solid and fill the
can completely. The covers are then
soldered on and the cans are put into a
boiler with q solution of chloride Of lime,
which bois at a much higher heat than
water, or in water under pressure. This
produces heat which destroys sail germs
of decomposition and leaves the meat in
such a condition that it will remain un-
changed as long as air is excluded from
the cans. For domestic use meat of any
kind may be canned or preserved by cook
ing it thoroughly, cutting it up free
from bone and pressing it while hot in
glass cans and then pouring hot melted
lard or tallow to fill the bottles. The
bottles are Immediately scaled. Meat
thus put up will keep long time. This
is a good way to put up sausage-meat
and game when it is plentiful. ul.-NeW
York Times.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-07
No Senator Ever Arrested.

A Washington letter to. the Phlladel-
pnia Ls,lgsr says: If Senator's arrest is
ordered by the chair he remains in the
custody of the Sergeant-at-Arms until
the Senate directs his release. The Presl-
dent pro. tenn. has no more power. Once
in arrest the only motion that could reach
the case under the rules would be to dis
charge him from custody, to refer his
case to committee to suspend or expel
him. No man has ever been actually ar
rested while member of the Senate or
House of Representatives. John Chaun-
cey, who has been an Assistant Sergeant
alarms in the House since 1858, told me
that throughout all the stormy scenes
that have occurred in the halls of Con-
gress, the extreme resource had never
been rcsorted to, not even when Brooks
assaulted Sumner. or during the many
fights that took place on the floor in the
days preceding and succeeding secess-
ion. At one time McDougall, of Cali
fornia, caused such a disturbance on
the floor of the Senate, while
that body was in session, as to
interrupt the proceedings. He was
drunk and did not know what he was
doing. The Vice President called him
to order repeatedly, and, as he would
not obey, ordered the Sergeant-at-Arms
to take him into custody, but before the
order was executed Uncle Isaac Bassett,
who at that time as now was Doorkeeper
of the Chamber, took him by the arm
and led him quietly away. A resolution
was af erward introduced to expel him,
but it was never a.ted upon. On the
4th of March, 1871, Willard Salisbury,
the Senator from Delaware, and the
brothers of the present Senator from
that State, caused similar disturbance.
His term expired at noon on that day.
He was very drunk and did not realize
the situation. The succeeding Congress
assembled Immediately upon the expira-
tion of the previous one, and Mr.. Sauls-
bury, still supposing that he was Sc
nator. attempted to make speech. The
presiding offit er, Mr. Colfax, called him
to order and informed him that he was
no longer q Senator. This Mr.. Sauls-
bury disputed with good deal of vigor.
Again Mr.. Colfax called him to order,
but he still refused. to sit down, and the
Sergeant-at-Arms was directed toremove
him.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-07
HOUSEHOLD MATTERS.
To Clean Laces.

Great care should always be used in
cleansing and doing up expensive lace
or fine embroidery, so as not to break
the meshes or threads in the work. They
must never be rubbed, but patted in the
hands. This will take out the soiled
places. Then put into an earthen dish
and pour boiling hot water over them.
Let them stand till cool, then rinse in
clear or blued water, if they are white !;
if the yellow tint is desired, little
strong coffee put into the rinsing water
will give the right shade. Laces should
never be starchcd very stiff; it spoils
their beauty and makes them look un-
graceful aud old. The figures must be
picked out smooth; then spread on a
clean white flannel and press with cool
iron. Laces treated in this way will
preserve their beauty until entirely used
up by old age.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-07
Scared Grizzlies.

]. II. Inman, former fur contracting
agent of the Hudson's Bay Company,
said to New York Sun reporter:
"While I believe that grizzly bear
will in q majority of cases wait for a
fight with man and take pains to get
in the way of one, there are times when
it will seem to think better of it and
back out. remarkable instance of this
kind heard of once, where famous
Manitoba guide courageously advanced
upon three grizzlies, an old she one and
two half-grown young bears, and by q
series of ridiculous monkey-shines and
acrobatic maneuvers on the ground with
in rod or two of the bears filed them
with such astonishment and apparent
fear shat the three retreated into the
woods with all rapidity. The guides
gun had snapped in both barrels, he hav-
Ing drawn on the old bear before the
young ones appeared. he afterward said
that it was in tit of desperation that he
tried the turning of a handspring and
Jumping up and down, Topping his
hands, and rcsorting TO other unhunter-
like measures. He had been told once
that hunter had frightened a mountain
lion away by similar absurd movements,
and he found thatit worked to perfection
in the case of the bears, although he did
not encourage anyone to go hunting
grizzlies armed with nothing more than
capacity to turn somersaults."
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-07
The Man Who Knows it ALL

You have seen the great w1seacre, solemn
choly as Quaker, who will talk in all
the seasonS-winter, summer, spring
OF fall:
He will talk without cessation. bout all
things since the creation, so that you
will see quite plainly, he's the man who
knows it all
he will talk about the tariff, and will make
you lose your hair if you but listen to
the clatter, which he all ar5rmenS
would call.
He's Socrates or Moses, but he's reckless
and he throws his know:edse left and
right and backward, does this man who
knows it all,
His achievements he will mention, If you
only pay attention to his stories weird
and tragic and at times extremely
tall.
he is sometimes young and tender, and his
incomes somewhat slender, but on this
point he'll deceive you, will this man
who knows it all.
As to talking, he's a daisy, aud he talks till
you're near crazy, and you tell him he
should never leave his stable and his
stall.
For, despite his knowledge thorough, be is
still a long-earsd burro, but of this fact
he is ignorant, is this man who knows
it all
W. B. Holland. in Detroit Free Press.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-07
Fillmore and the Mouse.

An amusing story is revived, which
General Nye, always an amusing political
speaker, used to employ in the course OF
one of his campaigns during the early
career of Fillmore, with ludicrous effect:
"Fellow-citizens I heard to-day an
incident illustrating Mr. Fi.lmore's fit
ness for the position. I am told that,
one evening, when he returned home,
Mrs. Fillmore told him that thee was
mouse in the meal chest. What did Mr..
Fillmore do, feiIow-citizens' Did he
put a cat into the meal chest2 No,
fellow citizens. lie caught the mouse
by the ears. and then, holding him over
the chest, he carefully blew off every
particle OF meal that adhered to him,
and then he let him go. Such frugality,
with such humanity, fellow
citizens, commands my vote"
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-07
New Economical Plants.

The Directors of the Saharumpur Gar.
dens, India, are cultivating a number OF
new plants, fer acclimatization. Among
them is the Acacia Senegal, which, be-
sides yielding the best gum arabic, fur
n:shes q rcddish-brown wood. which
takes on fine polish, and is used for
weavers' shuttlcs. The Cedula adorata,
or West Indian cedar, has light wood
of mahogany color, ven-grainod easily
worked, and fragrant-the wood from
which Havana cgar-boxes are made.
Ccncheris catharticus is much valued
fodder plant. which grows in sandy
desert tracts. 1t is the Tuart Of Austria
liza, tree of magnificent proportions,
which furnishes most excellent hard.
wond timber The Myrica', or wax
myrtles, of North and South America,
are cultivated for the waxy exudations
on their fruits, from which the wax
is separated 10y boiling and skimming.
The fruits of the Sapindus saponarla, or
West Indian soap-bcrry, contain large
quantity of a saponaceous matter, which
is used for washing clothes. The hard,
round, black seeds are worn as beds for
necklaces. ar Science Aoathly.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-07
A Pr0mOtiYc Of s cep.

Monotonous, continuous sounds are
recommended by various persons a. pro-
motive of steep. Any one who has eX.
perienced the murmur of the insect and
leaf life of forest knows how quoting
it is. SO the purling of the waters, the
humming Of il hive Of bees, the buzz of
a spinning wheel. and the mrrmur of a
distant factory. all at us i;il!abics. And
MIR. S. n. Stewart asserts in the S"jt'tFc
I'm ri ~, that there is no better sleep
guard than machinery. A person having
a spring or electric or water motor TO rnn
her sewing machine neel only remove
the needle, place the ma 'hnc near the
patient, and let it run.-Rp"!ar Science
.N0httLY.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-07
GLAMOUR LAND.
1 b dim lost Glamour.land.

All, dim, lost Glamour-land!
On whose confines I stand,
Longing for home that shall be home no
more
There stood my palace grand,
Where now, on either hand,
The fiery swords of seraphs guard the door,
There once roamed to Gull
Dear hopes more beautiful
Than siren thoughts that musins MONK
resist:
Nothing too far or fair
But its mirage was there,
Pictured upon the valleys rosy mist.
There each sweet day heard
Songs of brooding bird,
Telling of purest pleasures yet to be:
There, by the singing streams,
Faint forms of darling dreams
Loitered and fingered hand in hand with me-
Ah dim, dear Fancy-land!
Thy welkin, rainbow-spanned,
The softened light of halcyon hours DER
past,
Fading away, away,
All the expanse is gray
As fades the summer moon, too fair to last
-DonSke Cambridge, IN Independent.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-07
Rob scbemanskv. Mike Kinney Rounds

Bob Schemansky, Mike Kinney, Rounds
man Shoemaker and Pat Murnane were
| playing dominoes and Ben Coots was
looking on. Coots became so deeply in
terested in the game. and so excited over
the playing that he soon dropped asleep.
CHOW let us pay Coots off for that
beastly dream he had when he took gas
to have his tooth pulled" said Scheman-
sky.
The plan was soon perfected. Reach
ing up, Murnane turned out the gas.
Then the game, to all intents, went on
as before. The room was in pitch dark
ness, but the dominocs were shuffled,
each player drew five, one set and the
play went on.
"Double five; count ten"
give or nothing, eh' That sends me
to the woodpilc.
give, blank; give us ten"
Somebody purposely trod on Coot's
toe, and he awakcd with snort, rubbing
his eyes. The game went on.
"Twelve, tray; give us fifteen"
"Throw me bone there"
"Fiftee" and five; give us twenty"
"Why bows" exclaimed Coots, 'are
you playing dominoes?'
care we playing dominoes2 That's
bright question to ask. Don't you see
we are? Deuce, tray, give us five"
II hear you, but I can't see you"
"Can't see us2 Why, what's the mat
terl"
81 don't know, but it's fact, boys, I
can,t COO onrthinp at nil
"IIe's blind"
eyes, sir; he's blind"
"Hold on" said Murnane; IT know
what to do. I remember just such case
IN Ireland. A lot Of us young chaps
were out one cold night to the killing Of
landlord, and after the festivities we
went over to the house Of widow
named Garrity. One of the boys hadn't
been in the warm room more than five
minutes when he was struck blind as O
lat. But in less than five minutes the
widow had him out of it and oil right.
It's lucky thing 1 remember the affair.
Here, Coots, lay yourself straight across
the table; let your head hang over, so
that the blood will rush into it. There,
now, pll pass my hands over your eyes
like this; see9"
Coots was lifted bodily before he had
time to object, bent over the table and
Murnane began making magnetic passes
over his eyes. Schemansky reached up
and slyly lit the gas. -,
"Oh, I begin to see! begin to see!"
exclaimed the patrol driver.
In few moments, it is needless to
say, Coots's sight had been restored to
him, and he warmly grasped the hands
of all present in token of his sincere
gratitude.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-07
A RARE OLD WEAVER,

A busy old weaver is Time at best,
Ceaselessly working at Life's behest,
And, though his web may be thin and fine
And he fashions it slowly, line BY line,
He will cover we'll, whate'er your care,
With his dingy veil your treasures rare.
Busy old weaver, within his den
Covertly watching the children of men,
Winding about with his threads of grey
The hopes and passions with which we play.
King of weavers is he, 1 ween,
For never flaw in his work is seen.
Wonderful web. it absorbs our tears;
Covers our woes, and smothers our fears;
Tenderly falls oa'the quivering heart
And wipes the poison from treachery's dart.
Strange old weaver, taking no rest,
And we love him most who know him best.
CLARA j. Denton, in Current,
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-07
He Stopped the Pane.

Druggist-"Hello, Gubbins. Did that
porous plaster do the business"
Gubbins -"Yes, Stree"
"Stopped the pain, did it?'s
"Yes, in good shape"
Chow long was it on before you felt
rcliefm
"What do you meanI"
"How long was the plaster on your
back before the pain left7'
"On my back. Ha, ha, ha, that's q
good one. Why, it wasn't pain in my
back wanted it for, but pane in my
back window. I stuck it over the hole,
and there it is now. 1t only cost two
shillings. while whole pain of glass
would have cost $3."-Danuub Breeze.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-07
He Was a Married Man.

A lady carrying an umbrella entered
the street car, but before she could take
scat, the car plunged forward with an
awkward jerk. The lady, in attempting
to retain her equilibrium, whacked her
umbrella against the head of a gentle
man.
ooh, sir, I beg q thousand pardons,
sir. These drivers are so careless. Hope
you are not seriously injured, sir"
"Oh, no, ma'am. Pm married man
and am used to little knocks like that. ~
Detryit Free Press.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-07
very dry they should be soaked and
boiled before using them.

boiled before using them.
PURE ALA RErNE.-Boil fowl in two
quarts of water until tender; add two
sprigs of parsley, a leaf or two of soup
celery, quarter of an onion, one young
carrot. salt and six whole peppers; sim
mer slowly and add more water as the
quantity in the saucepan evaporates.
Remove the fowl when done. When
cold, skin and cut up the meat. Soak a
quarter of a loaf of homemade bread
and chicken together. Skim and strain
the broth; place it on the range, but do
not let it boil. Now rub the paste
through fine sieve, add it to the broth,
whisk into it half pint of lukewarm
cream, and teaspoonful of flour. Some
of the chicken pulp may be rolled into
little balls and served with the soup.
According to the traditions of the kitchen
this soup owes its name to no less per-
soaage than the wife of Henry w.,
Margaret of Valois, who was said to be
very fond of it. A Ia Reine is term
applied to dishes prepared according to
the Queens instructions, or that which
IS especially the food Of her Ma; a;esty.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-07
Bright Hints.

Jewelry can be made to look like new
by washing in ammonia and water or
alcohol, then rub and dry, polishing
with prepared chalk applied with flannel
or chamois skin. Silverware to be kept
bright should never be washed in soap
suds; clear water is best. To prevent
articles from furnishing, warm them and
apply with a soft brush thin solution
OF collodlum in alcohol. The ware can
be frightened by rubbing with q flannel
or chamois skin dipped in whiting or
chalk, then with newspaper. Brass
can be cleaned by securing with ashes
and soapsuds and afterward with vinegar
mixed with salt heated to boiling point,
then dry thoroughly and brighten with
a newspaper. Lime free from gri m xed
with alcohol applied with leather will
give beautiful polish to steel. To give
stoves a good lustre add either alum or
sugar to good polish. Tin pans can be
prevented from rusting by heating them
and rubbing we'll with linseed oil and
beating again. Wood ashes or whiting
(which is better mixed with kerosene
will brighten them.-Detroit Free Press.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-07
Capturing a SchooIma'am IN.


Yes, said the young man, as he threw
himself at the feet of the pretty school
teacher, 81 love you and would 60 to the
worlds end for you"
"You could not 60 to the end of the
world for me, James. The world, or
the earth, as it is called, is round like a
ball, slightly fattened at the poles. One
of the first lessons in the elementary
geography is devoted to the shape of the
globe. You must have studied it when
you were boy"
''0f course did, but"
"And it is no longer theory. Cir
cumnavigators have established the
fact"
81 know, but what I meant was that
I would do anything to please you. All!
Minerva, if you knew the aching
void"
"There is no such thing as void,
James. Natare abhors vacuum; but
admitting that there could be such q
thing, how could the void you speak of
be void if there was an ache in it7"
81 meant to say that my life will be
lonely without you. that you are my daily
thoug ght and my nightly dream. 1would
20 anywhere to be with you. If you
were in Australia or at the North Pole |
would fly to you l."
"Fly! 1t will be another century be-
fore men can fly. Even when the laws
OF gravitation are successfully overcome
there will sill remain. says late sci
entiic authority, the difficulty of main
tanning balance--"
"Well, at al events" exclaimed the
youth. "rve got pretty fair balance in
the savings bank and | want you to be
my wife. There"
"Well, James, since you put in that
light, l."
Let the curtain fall. Boston Courier.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-07
His Teeth.

Little Johnny entertaining young
man in parlor)-''My sister thinks you've
got beautiful teeth"
Mr.. Hankinson (highly pleased)-"Ah! !!
what have you ever heard Miss Irene say
of them, Johnny"
Johnny-"She says she thinks the up
per set didn't cost less than $25, and
She doesn't blame you for not eating
maple caramels. 1 like caramels, MIR.
Hankinson. Got Chicago 1ri-
5uRe.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-07
A Slfoht Difference,

GLOW does the market look2" inquired
PaterfamiIias of a young Stock Exchange
man who was calling on the old mans
daughter.
"flourishing, sir. I am bull from
now on"
AT this instant the young lady entered,
her face wreathcd in sweetest SMILES;
but before she could open her mouth her
young brother Tom shouted:
"Say, Lizzie, Mr.. Price says he is a
bull. You said last night that he was
nothing but calfG-NetO York Sun.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-07
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
Not of Much Account-A Slight
Diflerencc-His Teeth-He
Was q Married
Man, Etc.

A gentleman buying a morning paper
of an old woman gave her 10 cent
piece.
81 have no change; you can pay me to-
morrow"
"But suppose get thrown off the
eleyatedl"
ooh" replied the good woman,
thinking only of her cents, ''it wouldn't
be such terrible loss "-Judgs.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-07

The Greenwood mines, of Michoacan,
Mcxio, have yielded sixty nuggets of
native silver. weighing from one to fifty
and one half pounds. The largest, which
is al lost pure silver, is one of the most
remarkable ever found, and is said to have
been twelve pounds heavier in its original
state