davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1888-03-15
PENNY AND GUINEA.

somo Peculiarities of 8 Life in England.
 serhe Glasses and the Masses.''
 ..Tn London one can buy more for a penn, and less for guinea than in any other place on earth"
 This was the dictum of one of the United Statas ministers accredited to the court of St James some time ago, my memory wavering between Mir Motley and Mir. Marcy as the originator of the remark. Whichever gen. t1en,an actually uttered the words is a mat ter of not very vital importance. The truth of the statement is incontrovertible, and is as palpable in Mr. Phelps time as it was in Mir Marcy's.
 think the one great reason why there is such a difference between the purchasing power of the penny and the guinea-the for mer coin being relatively so much more valu- able than the latter-is that England is, has always been, and persists in being an aristo- cratic country. In spite of the great advance of the democratic idea in late years, and the undoubted fact that in some respects England enjoys as great an amount of freedom as any republic of our day, it is, nevertheless, the case that practically only two classes of peo- pie are recognized in England, namely, the rich and the poor, the aristocratic and the plebeian. The rich are very rich; the poor are very poor A guinea is nothing to the former; penny great deal to the latter. Hence, as little as possible is given to the rich for their guinea; as much as possible to the poor for their penny.
 In making this positive statement I am aware that I am laying myself open to a counter argument of great strength, which would truthfully indicate the existence of 8 most important element of English life, to- wit: the middle section of the community, an enormous body which ranges between the aristocracy and the plebeians in endless gra- dations, touching the upper ranks on the one side, and the lower on the other. The ques- tion would take some time to thresh out, but being so, would indubitably prove that. as have said, the popul tion of England is sepa- rated into two divisions of the great human family, who are widely known and spoken oi as ''the classes and the masses" -~ Travellers from America are always England, with the possession of enormous wealth. The tales of our Vanderbilts, Astors Mackays and others of that ilk, have con verted all our people into millionaires, in tht estimation of those who cater to their needs in England. Hence Americans ale guines
 cocks and hens. No penny advantages fol them. All remonstrance is unavailing Th' ] man who can pay and won't pay should b
 made to pay. And he is. He belongs to tn i "classes," and must conduct himself ia
 sich." He is practically an aristocrat 1 Noblesse oblige.-Olive Logan in Kansa 1 City Journal.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1888-03-15
The Latest Barber Shop Joke.

Have you heard the latest. .gaga' We'll, this is it. You go into barber shop or cigar store and presently somebody will begin talking bat, and after awhile the man who works the trick will get around to the point where he asks you if you have ever seen a red bat. Of course you answer no. Then he asks you if you would like to see red bat. You say that you don't mind, and he goes back ill the shop and brings for, ard paper box, carefully tied and plentifully per forated with holes. He begins to unite and you grow nervous and alarmed lest the bat makes it's escape. If you are foolish enough to say ''Look out, or he'll fly away!" then you get the laugh on you, for the joker will un- cover the box and show you red bat sure enough-a Ted brickbat-Globe-De Democrat
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1888-03-15
THREE QUEER SIGNS.

It is said that at railroad crossing near the depot in Adrian, Mich., is big sign with these words: Prepare to meet thy God"
 A little 10 by 10 shanty in Hot Springs, Ark, bears this sign: Tennessee Restau- rant Company-Open Day and Night-Oys- ters and Possum."
 A hotel in. Ness City has conspicuously posted in it's office agn which reads as fol lows: ssAny tenderfoot who calls a suit ot rooms a sweet or spitbox euspi6oor, or . lopkin' glass a mirror can not stop In this house and will Hud thp dinit t1eaatttti fur thar east
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1888-03-15
ASTRONOMICAL I'D BITS.

There is great and constantly increasing industry in crystalizing California fruits of every kind.
 Canvas back ducks are . shade cheaper now that the time draws near for their dis appearance
 Smoked beef for tea>is as regular thing at country hotels as the presentation or ah bills weekly.
 As a rule, the hotel and restaurant mince pie is never too rich for any ones blood or constitution.
 Turkey begins to taste as if it had been very much fatigued beforeit was slaughtered by the farmer.
 He or she is not much of Q gastronomic writer who recommends canned goods for "Lenten dainties"
 Cook books continue to multiply, and nearly all give receipts as # 500 people were to dine at one time.
 Spring lamb is obtainab's, also green peas to go with it, they coming from the suburbs of Charleston, s. c.
 Three weeks hence hot cross buns will be in great demand, even among those who have not "kept the fast"
 Southern shad, sent north packed in ice, tastes when it gets here about as cotton bat ting would if broiled.
 Nine out of every ten northern visitors in Florida try to see how many oranges they can eat at one sitting.
 The modern sandwich has the crust of the bread removed, and at very few places is il filling for the price,"
 "Beef lay moved" is the way they printed it on the bill of fare of Texas hotel and it tasted that way, tool
 Piscatorial patties of all kinds obtain al this, the sackcloth season, and show tht progress in the culinary art -
 Beefsteak pie, away from home, is as dan gerous to experiment with as dynamite il connection with a lighted match. An epicure is never known by the way h, tucks his napkin under hls chin before eat ing, or calling for a cup of tea in the middl, of the meal
 Nothing quicker will stop crying bab, on railway car than one of the leather fig | sold by train boys. Indeed it is doubtful if having eaten one, the baby ever cries again Southern and Bermuda vegetables are il good supply now. and the quality is praise worthy, too. The premature strawberrie are better, and sell at lower prices by tn | quart.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1888-03-15
old Enough to Feel It.

A girl of 10 slipped and fell in front of the Detroit opera house yesterday, and a kind hearted gentleman who assisted her to arise thought to comfort her by saying:-
 ''Never mind, sis, you aih'tl old enough to lose any dignity by it."
 ''Yes, but I'm old enough to know. that it loosened t1e whole top of rpy,l,sad, RuGt bitmy, topgse a1ln0st iu twblh N. Hky fully hsweteA:-O -Os&TM ffIS Yfeta.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1888-03-15

Clinton, Wis, claims to have greater number of aged residents in proportion to popuiation than any other town in the west. 1t has one who is 100, two who arc over 90, bvyenty-eight who are over SU end lOS who sre over 10. The total pogaNaMoo is only
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1888-03-15

It is far more ea.y to acquire fortune like knave than to sxpud it like gentle man.-Colton. NJ
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1888-03-15

Tho philosophy ot uanasss . built upon attention to tgiaee.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1888-03-15

Better to 60 to bsd s1psress than eo ese Sn oshA ~ NFw
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1888-03-15

has convinced us that the peo- pie ot Waterbury appreciate good goods at low prices. The people who have attended our GREAT SALE have been our best advertisers, as the bargains which they have purchased have invariably brought more custo- mers, the value obtained having more than answered our adver.
 tisement.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1888-03-15

olys.rins, f 1t is not pure, VII iFritzts th Ain.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1888-03-15

ia ,..-s, 5s.. T~(-s-
Bent County register., 1888-07-07
How q Democrat Argues

"Harrison? What's he amount
to?" said Boulder democrat last
night. "He let a fellow by the name
of Jeans beat him for governor of
Indiana once"
"He can't carry the Pacihc SLOPE"
said another democrat to-day.
"Why not?"
'No workingman will vote for him.
"Why not?"
"Well, see his record on the Chin
ese bill"
@What is that record?"
"Well, that's all right.
"Do you know how he voted?"
"Well, that's all right"
"Do you know what the bill was
about?"
"Well, that's all right"
"Have you any reason to give why
Harrison cannot carry the Pacific
slope?"
"Well, that's all right"
These are two democratic argu-
ments used in Boulder against Har-
rison.-Boulder Herald.
Bent County register., 1888-07-07

The supreme court of Kansas re-.
Gently, rendered decision which
will be very gratifying to business
men in all the towns and cities of
the state. Here 1t is: NO town or
city has right to sell any wares or
merchandise on the sidewalk or
street in front of the property of an
other person. The street in front of
mans place of business is held to
be an appurtenance to the lot on
which his store is erected and situ-
ated, and belongs to him and his
business as against all others, except
the rights to travel thereon.
Bent County register., 1888-07-07

Mr.. Cleveland has nominated him
self and ratified his own nomination
The arrogance and self assertion and
abuse of executive patronage by
which he has compassed this end he
will now turn to elect himself He
will learn that, while caucuses and
conventions can be coerced, the elec.
tors have a will of their own, and
resent nothing more than the impru
dence and audacity of unbrld led
power.-Utica Herald.
Bent County register., 1888-07-07

Abram S. Hewitt, mayor of New
York, will not give the democracy a
helping hand in the campaign, and
has declined denomination for the
Office of mayor of New York on the
democratic ticket. The Los Angeles
Times remaks thereupon as follows:
Mayor Hewitt, not content with
keeping New York in a turmoil with
his personal and epistolary row, has
fred dynamite shell into Mr.. Cleye-
land. Here it is:
Some weeks after the election of
1884, was summoned to Albany by
Mr.. Cleveland. He told me he was
thinking over various names which
had been presented to him for cabi-
net places, and he asked me if l had
any names to suggest. l said:" Mr..
President, the man whom you should
place at the head f your cabinet is
Allen G. Thurman" Cleveland's
reply was, ale is too DID," | said,
"No, he is not too old; Thurman is
good for twenty years, and besides,
his mental facilities are unimpaired."
Cleveland then said: "But his hab-
its are bad" Ny response to that
extraordinary statement was: "Mr.
President, if you think that, why
don't you send somebody to Colum-
bus to find ont what Mr.. Thurman's
personal habits are?" and to my sur
prise he said, Il will do so.' And he
actually sent detective to find out
if Allen G. Thurman ever took
drink of whisky or not. Things have
changed since 1854.
Bent County register., 1888-07-07

When Mr.. Cleveland had placated
the South he took the party in the
north by the slack of its trous-
ers and threw it bodily from protec-
ton to free trade. 1t was left to the
choice of accepting the situation or
splitting the party by kicking. 1t
loved office too well to do the latter.
Mr.. Cleveland made himself a neces-
slty to his party by making himself
its master, and he is entitled to the
credit which he claims of nomlnat-
ing himself.-Omaha Republican.
Bent County register., 1888-07-07

The laughter of the sot, the laughter of
the madman, are species of laughter that
will not torture you by attempting to de-
scribe.
The sentimental smile is the next viii
call attention to. Very young gentlemen,
who think themselves over head and ears
in love, and young ladies just beginning
to read Byron and fashionable novels, and
to write billet -dour, make use of this smile
1t Is a soft simper, something between n
sigh and SMILE and meant to be most
tender and fascinating. You would think
bntter would not melt in their mouths, and
that they were too fragile to risk puff of
wind-their aspirations soft as the breath
OF fiowers-their speech like the dulcet
tones of an Kolian lyre 1t is question
not very easily answered-what are such
folks good for? Watch one of these fraiJ
creatures us she reclines on the louage
"Simpering, signing,
Lisping, crying"
ell for want of having something to do. A
young lady afflicted with this malady de-
scribes her feelings and courts sympathy
in these words:
My heart is sick, my heart is sad,
But, oh /! the cause | dare not tell;
am not grieved, am not glad,
am not sick, am not well
I'm not myself-fm not the same;
am indeed l know not what;
I'm changed in all, except in name
Oh when shall be changed in that" ;"
Of course There is time to weep and
time to laugh-a time to mourn AMI q
time to dance" The wise alone can know
the proper time. l am quite aware that
extreme levity of speech and behavior is
productive of much harm, and that THE
loud laugh proclams the vacant mind"
But let us always be happy and always
cheerful, so far rs consistent with the other
duties of life, and in the end it will turn
out that our hearts and lives will be bet
ter than if we had all along maintained
the rigidity of countenance and gravity of
speech befitting only the sourest of mo-
nastic devotees. 1t is true saying that
"A troubled mind is often relieved by
maintaining cheerful countenance"
There must be relaxation from the
cares and perplexities of life betimes, OF
the body will sink and the mind become
morbid and confused. "Too much care
once killed cat" and. no doubt it has
killed many man, as well as poor puss
grant that man was made to mourn =
but he was also made to laugh and if he
laugh in the proper place, at proper time
and in'a proper manner, it can never be
wrong-and why? Because to do SO is to
follow the dictates of our human nature.
Rogers Park. Ill. Dec 1ssO
Bent County register., 1888-07-07
. Member Of a. Q. u. w.

LEADv1LLE, CoLo., June 27.-Kid.
der, the miner who was killed in the
Maid of Erin mine last Tuesday, was
initiated into the a. o. u. w. of
this city the evening before he was
killed. A membership to this lodge
gives $4,000, in case of death, to the
widow of the deceased According
that sum of money was to-day turned
over to Mrs. Kidder.
Bent County register., 1888-07-07

Over hundred signed as members
of the Republican club on last Tues
day night. There will be two hun
dred members of the Granada club
In short time.-Granada Exponent.
Bent County register., 1888-07-07

A new order named the "Sons of
Rest" has been started in this city.
Its founders here are Paul Juvet
and Ship Norris. The only order
west of Kansas City is in Lamar,
Colo, to which place an order for
the charter has been sent in, and
from whence it will arrive to-day
Garden City Sentinel.
Bent County register., 1888-07-07

The Republicans of Lamar had a
big ratification meeting on Tuesday
evening. The Republicans of the
whole county are wide awake and
they will march to great victory in
November, when the last democratic
stronghold in the county will be
taken.-Granada Exponent.
Bent County register., 1888-07-07

The Kansas Mortgage and Invest
rent Company absolutely discounts
all competitors in the business of
loaning money on decided lands
and final proofs. All inspections are
made from the Lamar office, papers
written here. principal and interest
payable here, money constantly on
hand, and when you make loan
from this company you are borrow
ing direct from the first house.
Bent County register., 1888-07-07

If all the towns throughout eastern
Colorado take the pains to beautify
themselves by setting out trees as
Lamar has, we will in a few years,
have the finest towns in the vest
Carlton news.
Bent County register., 1888-07-07

Cleveland will not have Daniel
Manning, John Kelly or Dorsheimer
to help him out this time. His name
is Dennis.-Aspen Times.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1888-12-07
PERSONAL.

Col. J. NJ. Moore, of Corpus Christi,
is at the st. Leonard.
Capt. A. G. Jones, of Beeville, is at
the st. Leonard.
Lieut.. VIM. ID. Beach, U. S. Army,
from Eagle Pass, is at the Menger.
F. S. Leonard and wife, of Colorado
Springs, is at the Menger.
Mrs. E. C. Steele, of Paris, Ills. is at
the Maverick.
Mrs. G. H. Harris and daughter,
of Marion, are at the Mahncke.
G. w. L. Baker, of Seguin, is at the
Mahncke.
John M. Mathis and wife, of Charco,
Texas, are prominent Texans, now
at the st. Leonard. ...
Miss Laura Eisfeld, of Fredericks-
burg, who has spent a few weeks Wis
iting Mrs. Geo. Kalteyer, in this city,
left yesterday for home.
Mr.. Bruno Reich, on of Mr.. Wolf
sons statesmen, who has been serious
ly i'll for some months past, is now
convalescent, and is recuperating
over in New Braunfels. He is i'm
town today.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1888-12-07

Try the Welsh Anthracite coal.
1t is the best. J. NJ. Carr, agent.
Tel. 1893. 12-1-6t
Buy the Eagle Pass coal; no
clinker, no suit. For sale by j. M.
Carr. Tel. 1893. Pilot
Eagle Pass coal cheaper than
wood. J. NJ. Carr sells it. Tel.
393. 12-1-6t
Our engraving and repairing is as
good as the best. ct BELL BROS.
Come and inspect our stock of
goods for the holidays. BELL BROS.
Give your boys good watch; our
watch. They are cheap at
12-3-6t BELL BROS.
We have the goods and will sell
cheap for cash. ct BELL BROS.
-Wanted-Five shoemakers at the
Crescent City Boot and Shoe Manu-
factory, opposite the county court
house, Soledad ST. 2S-tf
ALI private diseases cured by the
eminent European specialist, DIR.
Wasserzug, 245 West Commerce
street. 11-l6-tf
For sale-A first class restaurant
doing a prosperous business. Apply
at this Office. 1l-2S-1t
Wasting and decay cured by DIR.
Wasserzug. I-13-lm
Mr.. Geo. Caen, the French dyer,
has the best fitted dye works in the
state, and is prepared to renovate
clothing by the latest scientific meth
DDS. He guarantees satisfaction. No.
41O East Houston street. 11-l7-1w
Dujardin's Life Essence has
marked effect on the SEXUAL organs,
restoring the torpid nerves, and sooth-
ing irritability. 1t is the only relia-
BILE and effective remedy that we
have. 1t is very palatable also.
Price, 81. so bottle. All druggists.
1O-l5-2m
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1888-12-07
FOR GENTLEMEN ONLY.

It's an astonishing fact that Fl. A. BLAIR
sold out his fine odOrs last year on small
profit and quick return sale system. He has
tract, some handsome plush clses, manicure
sets, gentlemens' smoking cases, trimmed
bottles in hand painted plush and satin, a
large assortment ofcombs, brushes, fancy
soaps, Ctrusses a speciality, which he will sell
in the same way. Take good advice. whether
you are old or young, rich or poor tall or short,
stout or thin, pale, black, red or white and call
nor Iy ot
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1888-12-07
For One Week Only.

Messrs. Kern & Karlert, the cele-
brated glass engravers from the fair,
have consented to remain in the city
one week longer, and will have their
stands in our store from Monday, Dec.
Sd. Glassware can be selected from
cG- stock. and any name, monogram,
or special design engraved TO order, at
their usual liberal rates. Everybody
should avail themselves of the oppor-
tunity to secure nice and cheap holi.
day gifts. WAGNER d CHABoT.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1888-12-07

Those who wish to strengthen
their position in the commercial
world, by qualifying as shorthand
writer's, should confer with E. STRAIT
ton, care of A. B. Frank & Co., who
teaches Graham's system thoroughly
in four months, for SIS, and solicits
enquiries of disinterested shorthand
authorities as to it's merits. 12-3-6t
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1888-12-07
To Young and Middle Aged Men.
A SURE CURE.

The awful effect of early vice. which brings
organic weakness, destroying both m:nd and
body with it's dreadful ills,
Permanently CuredI
Papitation of the heart, timidity, trembling.
nervous discharges. so much to be feared,
forgetfulness, lack of ideas, sadness of spirits,
ugly imaginings, dislike to social life and
trooding melancholy. Married Men, or
those entering on the happy life, aware OF
physical debility, excitability of the nerves,
organic diminution, or other Irregularities
quickly assisted. NO MINERALS USED -
Young people losing their health and spending
time with those unskilled and unqualified,
causing fatal disorders to the head, throat,
nose, liver and lungs, stomach and bowels,
speedily cured. Let not false modesty deter
you from calling at once on
DR.. WASSERZUG,
Consulting Rooms, 245 COMMERCE. STREET.
Office hours from a. m. TO 9 p. m.
All Private Matters Curedl Prompt attentiC
is given TO all correspondence. State symp-
toms and medicine viii be sent c. o. ID. every
where. DIR. WAsSERZUG is a regular graduate
f2l years practice. diploma in office).
Four years residence in Dallas.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1888-12-07
CITY NEWS.

The Young Mems Reform club
will meet tonight.
"A fine chowder for free lunch at
Turner hall bar today. 1t
Grand masquerade ball Sunday,
December 8, at TESTS garden. Ut
Constable Martinez arrested John
Heron on the charge Of assault and
battery upon Robert Brown.
There will be dance tonight at
the residence of the Misses Berry,
near Southern Pacific depot.
South Presa street is now in fine
condition; thanks to the efforts of
the street commissioner and his men.
Capt. Votaw's residence on San
Pedro avenue is handsomely re-
painted.
"A bad wreck occurred near Tay-
lor, Texas, on the International and
Great Northern Wednesday.
Grand ball next Sunday night
December 9th, 1888, at Gambrinus
hall. 12-7-2t
"A. Hampel, late proprietor of the
Riverside restaurant, has opened a
new restaurant in Kaiser's enjoy
able saloon and concert hall at
the Alamo pavilion opposite
the postoffice where you can
get fine oysters, fish and the best
lunch in the city at reasonable prices.
11-l6-1m
-Wanted-White girl to work in a
small family. Apply at 222 Obraje
street. 6-3t
Don't fail to see aladdin, or the
Wonderful Lamp" at the Fashion
tonight.
Don't fail to see aladdin, or the
Wonderful Lamp" at the Fashion to-
night.
Don't fail to see aladdin, or the
Wonderful Lamp" at the Fashion to-
night.
All Homeopathic medicines at r.
Voelcker's, 2O4 Commerce st. 11-5-tf
aladdin" or "The Wonderful
Lamp" the finest spectacular drama
ever produced on the vaudeville stage,
at the Fashion theatre tonight. If
Otto Blumenthal keeps the cele-
brated Rogers silverware. 11-10-tf
Aladdin" or "The Wonderful
Lamp" the finest spectacular drama
ever pIOuuCcu vi OIc NduucNlll0 SUdS0,
at the Fashion theatre tonight. If
-Jewelry repaired by Otto Blumen-
thai. 11-10-tf
For fine birthday, wedding or
holiday presents, call on Otto Blu
menthal. 11-10-tf
Best selection of trusses IN the
city at r. Voelcker's, 204 Commerce
street. 11-5-tf
Only few more spaces leftin the
Opera House Programme, Apply
early.
Free camp yard at Zig Brothers,
Dolorosa street. 10-17-tf
Aladdin or "The Wonderful
Lamp" the finest spectacular drama
ever produced on the vaudeville stage,
at the Fashion theatre tonight. If
-Drs. M. X. and f. M. Taylor, Of
flee 402 Houston street. Tel.363 11-6-1y
You can find anything in the
jewelry line at Otto Blumenthals at
lowest prices. 1l-10-tf
Best photographs at Callaway's
Gallery, 413 East Houston st. 15-tf
DIR. B. Wasserzug will leave this
city next Sunday afternoon at 3
o'clock. Any person wishing to con-
suit him will please do so before
then. 1851
"A man and wife can get a good
situation ON boarding cars. The man
as carpenter or laborer, and his wife
as cook. Apply at I. & G. N. Lunch
stand. 1916 1t
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1888-12-07
HEADQUARTERS

HEADQUARTERS for perfumery,
toilet goods and fine purses and other
leather goods, at R. Voelcker's Cen
tral Pharmacy, 2O4 Com. st. .11-5-tf
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1888-12-07

For nice fresh groceries and coun-
try produce, telephone Illg Brothers.
Goods delivered free. 10-17-tf