The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-10-15
TAKERS OF THE PAVE.
a REPORTERS EXPERIENCE WITH
CHICAGO STREET MERCHANTS.
Tho Wonderful Instrument Which Even
Newton's Genius Failed to Discover
The Magic Bean and Its yirtues-'Turk-
ish Delight" Confectionery.

ish Delight" Confectionery.
81 have here, ladies and gentlemen, an in
genious little instrument, worth its weight
in gold. No well regulated family can afford
10 be without it. IL affords comfort 20 the
old, pleasure 10 the middle aged and amuse-
ment 70 the young. Newton. the greatest
philosopher that ever lived, spent days and
nights studying to invent something Ike II,
but failed 1t is an inspiration Of genius,
gentlemenr-
The speaker was a long haired. greasy
looking faker standing at the corner of Mad
ison and Market streets. IN an open tray be
fore him he had some dozens If the wonder
ful instruments whose powers be was 50 elo-
quently eulogizing
His audience addressed rs ladies and GEM
tlemen" consisted Of three or four Italian
bootblacks, district messenger boy. tired
grocer's man pushing "A truck, and two rusty
looking countrymen. The latter were bis
most attentive listeners, and on them he
focused the full stream Of his eloquence.
For the cost Of one dime, gentlemen, YOU
can purchase this beautiful little instrument.
No more profanity in your house, no more
need to exchange the JOYS Of single bliss for
the cares and anxiety OF married misery, no
more weary waiting up nights for some one
TO sew buttons on your only pair With
this little instrument you can thread needle
in Egyptian darkness. sew a button on while
you wait and enjoy life while you're young
CAUGHT THE coUNTRYMEy.
The last sentence caught the cOuntrymen.
Two brawny arms held forth dimes and in
return received each n duplicate Of the won
derful piece Of mechanism which had baliled
Newton's skill
4 few moments later reporter was trying
10 buy out the takers whole stock on pre-
tense of going into the business. The pat
ent needle threaders, - of which he had about
five dozen left. he offered to sell at the rate
Of 80 cents gross.
lyon mean Dozen surely
mo, fifty cents gross; want to get out
of town"
> call at place where the advertisements
said men were wanted 10 earn go week of
a capital Of s. found little Old man whose
eyes twinkled and sparkled like the big dia-
mOnd which be wore on his hand.
"Can you singf asked the little old man.
The reporter acknowledged that no
couldn't
"Conjurer
"a few school boy tricks
"Captialm said the old man, gleefully.
'This is what you want Hall marked gold
rings-eyery one stamped-warranted thir-
teen carat, or return money; throw in half
dollar with every fifth ring mix em up and
there you are, only one dime. Cost you IS
cents a gross"
'Show me something else"
Heres patent cement, warranted to
hold a house and lot together Take piece
Of plate glass, break into pieces about an
inch square, fasten them with cement, and a
ten-hOrse power steam engine couldn't pull
them apart without breaking the glass.
Fifty cents gross. MOI Well, suppose you
try combination penholder, with rubber,
pencil, knife and toothpick Rather ex-
pensve-twenty shillings a groSs-but sells
like hot cakes at u quarter apiece
Finally the reporter allowed himself 10 be
persuaded into buying a gross Of 'Carrib-
bean Archipelago nuts" warranted to cure
rheumatism, sick headache, toothache, lum-
bago, dyspepsia, sciatica, eczema, ingrowing
toenails, chills and fever, sore eyes, corns,
warts and bunions.
LAY STRESS or "CORNs.n
always lay particular stress on 'corns,
warts and bunions,'n said the little man as
he gave the reporter ten cents change out Of
a quarter for a package Of the wonderful
beans Everybody has corns, warts or
bunons, and for every corn, wart or buni0n
in the human family there are nearly dozen
remedies. People buy these things, try EN-
on themselves, and are perfectly satisfied
when the corn doesn't cure. They've tried 50
many remedies that they believe theirs is
the only incurable corn in the world"
Before you start out selling these things
be continued, Il would advise yOu 10 study
one or two tricks. Rig yourself out in In
dian fashion if you want 10 make bowling
success Of II. Your blonde hair is rather OF
color, but a little nutmeg on your face will
tone that down, and people don't mind
blonde Indian occasionally.
At the corner Of Peck court and State
street the reporter found prototype Of the
mongrcl Indian his principal had instructed
him to represent \ crest OF feathers
reached from his head TO his heels, and his
part was cross between MkadO costume
and Tweedledum in the Crystal Slipper.
strangely enough ne was seillnS the luehtl-
cal Caribbean Archipelago beans" which
the reporter had purchased. but the public
who gave nickel for one Of the articles, evil
IDENTIFY did 50 on the guarantee that he had
'growed 'em meeself on the awlkelee plains
above the Rocky mountains"
Another street fake which just now Is
booming is Turkish candy There must DO
something in the name Of the land Of the
prophet peculiarly attractive TO the gullible
portion Of mankind Cheap molaSses candy,
studded with Almonds would be passed
unnoticed by dozens Of people who stop to
buy from man clothed in Turkish fez and
long flowing garb the same compound dig
nided by the title OF Turkish Delight
Chicago Tribune.
Percentage Paid for Betting.
Comparatively few people are aware Of the