Waterbury evening Democrat., 1888-04-16
MEN WHO BUY GREEN GOODS.
Agricultural America in the Metropolis.
 Blowing Out the Gas.

Blowing Out the Gas.
 Of the thousands of countrymen who come to New York to buy t'green goods" it is thought very large percentage perish by blowing out the gas in their rooms at the hotels. Some of them, however, are known to survive the gas ordeal and for the instruc- tion of these a few of the Bowery inns, much frequented by this class of custom, display the most unique and absurd signs.
 One of the most common mistakes made by the granger giving himself bath is to forget to turn off the water when the tub is full. A good many floods, disastrous to the property and temper of the host have resulted from this omission, and to prevent it a sign is placed in the bathroom reading: ''Please turn the water off when the tub is full, or the bath will run over." In spite of this tribute to the intelligence of agricultural America, printed as it often is in six line pica type, there are good many bathrooms devastated every year by overfows.
 Another common blunder is itself due to a sign reading: clock your door on retir- ing" The antidote to this is another sign to the effect: "But do not hide the key.n Coun- trymen do not understand the art of locking their room doors, but in city hotel they are so afraid of thieves that they always attempt to do it. Sometimes they are too successful After locking themselves in they conceal the key so that it cannot possibly be found by the burglars outside. Next morning the granger cannot find it himself, and he is caught in his own trap. Reports have been made of forgotten grangers thus imprisoned remaining in their rooms for days, afraid to move because they thought they were in a bunco house and in danger of their lives it they screamed.
 The sign, "The porters will handle guests baggage" is to quiet the fears of the country man. As soon as he has registered the polite bell boy seizes his gripsack to convey it to his room. The wary guest thinks he is in the clutches of highwayman, and sometimes the bell boy does not secure the baggage until he has had a desperate struggle for it. The sign, "No extra charge for the elevator" !" is to prevent the guests from walking up stairs. A similarity of names makes the famer confuse the elevator with the elevated railway, on which he knows a fare of five cents is exacted. A few people think that the elevator is unsafe anyway, and conse- quently, when heavenward bound, they use the staircase, though they have confidence enough in the "lift' to come down in it.
 A well known sign is this: "Guests can with safety leave their baggage in the rooms, provided they lock the doors' This has a good effect. It is designed to prevent folks from dragging their trunks and portman- teaus down stairs, and piling the articles around them each time they go to take a meal. The individuality of a green country man and his valise is proverbial. It is often a nuisance to the boniface. Some guests of this stripe insist on being present when their rooms are being arranged and their beds made, to prevent the chambermaid from picking and stealing from their effects New York Press