The Red Cloud chief., 1888-09-14
THE CANDIDATE At HOME.
A Realistic Picture Of the Trials and Trih
ulati0ns Of Our Great Men.

| THE CANDIDATE At HOME.
A Realistic Picture Of tho Trials .nd Trib
I ulstions Of Dur Great Men.
"Yes. nv DEAR" remarked the can
didate to his wife. as with a weary sigl
he removed the wrappers from a larg'
yellow silk pin-cushiOn with his initials
on it. and sent the girl down stairs witt
$4.82 for the expressman; Eyes. l full!
appreciate the honor that some of tn,
people of this great and ef~fervescins
Republic have done me in nominating
me for so high an office; but l could
wish that they would be somewhat les.
impetuOus. as it we're. in their method
of expressing their esteem and admir-
alton"
He here stopped to replace the cover
on the box containing the twenty-year
old rattlesnake that had been sent hin
by a constituent in Wyoming. an ac'
which he performed just in time t.
prevent the playful reptile from me.
andering out and making u light lunch
of the baby. This done, he resumed,
sadly:
ut must. of course. be highly graft.
flying to any properly constructed can
didate to have an enthusiastic people
pouring a perfect avalanche. if may
be permitted the expression. of canes.
cigar-cases. underwear. beasts Of as.
sorted sizes and colors. and other USE
full articles upon him: he can not but
feel proud to think that his house is
the objective point Of every express
wagon in town, and that people all over
this great and glorious land are sitting
up nights and neslecting their business
to make rare and curious articles OF
rertu for him. But in time even this
becomes mOnOtOnOuS. and"
Here the girl came in to say that an
other consignment of yellow dogs had
arrived, and that the expressman
wanted eight dollars more. With a
sigh the candidate produced the money.
and ordered that the dogs be put down
cellar and made as comfortable as pos
Siblc.
81 do not mind dogs 50 much." he
remarked. '.but snakes and prairie
wolves seem to me in bad taste. and l
earnestly deprecate-'
There's Il man downstairs" inter-
rupted the girl. re-entering the room.
and falling over the twenty-pOund
brindle cat. which a lady in Michigan
had seat with her regards and an ex-
press bill for twelve dollars. land he
says that he has just named his two
hours old baby after you. and thought
he would come round and let you
know. so that you would not feel
anxious about it,"
This is getting played out" hOwled
the candidate: I've got no more
money to invest in that way. and that
settles it. Give him a spoon out of the
holder. with my regards. and tell him
I'll call round and kiss the baby Is
soon as | get time"
Say" remarked his wife with ami
nation: this paper says that a man
named Wellington Hanks. in keOkuk.
is making "a hair-brush for you to be
OF 1867 distinct pieces Of
wood"
Great gunsr' exclaimed the candi-
date: "WhO said l wanted a hair-brush?
The idea of sending a hair-brush to Il
man without a hair on his head! /
won't have it"
just then the girl entered. and said
that a mule of rare beauty had arrived
from Arizona, and was waiting his Or
ders and sixteen dollars.
slaughter the beast!' cried the can
didate wildly. land tell the express
man to go to! Am l to have no time to
think about the tariff and things. and
money to buy food with? l can't
get a chance to write my inaugu-
raj address; and the first thing you
know it III be the fourth of March. and
I'll have to stand up there before a per-
multitude and speak a piece
out of the Amateur Orator. won't"
He was interrupted by the entrance
of a boy with an express pac:age. upon
were inscribed the words "All
charges. prepaid" As his eyes fell upon
the inscription. he uttered "A wild shrek
and fell to the floor unconscious. For
Il few moments his o we're forgot
ton. +. 4. Stcarns. IN PucIk.
90