Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1888-06-13
THREE YARNS FOR A pRrzr
Whoppers Told at Blizzard Tim,
aIe Vicinity of Gotham IN

table place at Fork river. R'-.oI- RaI,,a.4I.
bay, VIII ch IS open the year ronn5 a.
mis- friends for sport or recreation NJ,
late blizzard caught some of them dr.
there unprovided with means of irJa.l
amusement. They were imnriso,o'so55
nearly a week, during which fin
small ale house was their only Chs
from the solitude of the lodge ',-,se az
day the crowd was yawning in the az
house. All things had become cIe., -
nuts.
81 can tell you a story about nv ID.
that's new, anyhow" gasped Glars
Parker.
Il can beat it for prize" said Fl.
enezer De Witt. ~
"You fellows don't know how =,
lie,'' put in A. J. Prime. 1T tatsss
lawyer. l seldom lie myself. but a
ther'S prize in it, go ahead. y a
"Wel, this dog, gentlemen. 8, bago,
Parker, loftily, beat any rabbit 5a-
that ever lived. lie was faster ,I-oss
the wind. Once, on hot trail. he ~
nose up against u scythe, which Ia
been left blade upright in field H.
was going at terrible pace, andI trsn
hhdb NOA4N AlehEltA 81 SLOOlFtl IDrrr.
by the scythe in preparation. Sure an.
ough, the blade parted him down ~.
middle, dividing even his tail in e5DsI
parts. As the two parts tumbled nv,
L clapped them quickly together AMI
bound them up III a hunting coat IT,
was going so fast that the blood ha5r,,
had time to spill, and, of course tba
halves grew together. But s1mebo,r
one half had Topped over Just befora 7
Joined them, and when Jack GOT yrsg
lie had two legs on tie ground and fV,
sticking up in the air. He was a curi.
GUS dog after that. When he bgrlal
half bark would come from the rar,
of the mouth that opened up. and fla
other half came fIOm the uart tbq,
opened down. This defect aunoysI
him, and he pract.ced to REMEDY II
He got so after while that, after cho5.
chOoing for minute. like locomotive
getting under way, he could run ms
half barks together into a continuous
note like a fog horn. I made money
put of him 10y hiring him out morning,
20 a box factory for a steam wbi,tia
The most curious thing, though. WAS IA
see him eat. l cut his food into tiUy
pieces. lie would take one morsaI
with the half of his mouth that oleDeJ
downward, and then turn a sort of
handspring sideways TO his otter lers
and eat another morsel with his other
half mouth. When real hungry he
turned so fast he looked like a 200 ny.
olutiOn fly wheel in motion. lie never
wagged his tail. The reason was that
the muscular efforts at wagging. being
equally balanced on each side, counter.
acted each other. lie was better ral-
bit deg than ever, for when he ran him
self off one pair of legs, he'd simply
turn a sidespTing and go 1t on the other
pair. You couldn't tire him out. 1t
was great blow TO me when lie
died"
y Mr.. Parker stroked his chin coutem.
platively, and Ebenezer DE Witt said
slowly:
"Your dog was truly wonderful, but
he can't compare with my rawhiie
traces. l bought them new in Jersey,
and first used them to cart a load Of
wood up a half mile hill 10 my hOuse
1t was raining dismally as ! loaded tht
wood on tine wagon, and the rawh.l,
traces got thoroughly soaked. WheI
all was ready / mounted one Of Tx
horses and drove to the house. WheI
got there l found that the wagOl
hadn't budged. The wet traces Ia,
stretched the whole half ml.e. Her
was bad fix, and as the sun came Ou
just then, sat down TO think about il
Then the sun got 50 hot l went indoOn
leaving the horses standing.
''When | came out a minute late
the horses were straining TO keep iron
being pulled down the hill. Looking
down, l saw my load Of wood rumbliug
up the hill at \ jolly rate. / was puE
Zled at first to understand what wa,
pulling them, but soon saw that as the
sun dried the traces they were contract.
ing at the same rate they had stretched
when wet, and as the horses held The
| ground at the top of the hill the wagon
had TO come up to the horses. / after
ward formed a company for lifting safes
| to tenth story windows. Jay Gould
| put in the money and l put in the
traces. We both got rich. The way
J lost those traces was III trying 10 sound
the bottomless spring in Pennsylvania
We tied a weight TO one end and drop
| ped ii in the spring. As tie weight
sank into the depths those traces spun
out till at last they became 50 fine
thread that butterfly chancing to fit
against one end, it snapped short of.
Everybody cried chestnut at the
conclusion of this story. When tleup.
| roar subsidized Al Prime began.
'Gentlemen, he said, Il have had
no thrilling experiences such as yours
But tested some gunpOwder once that
! proved rather remarkable. / am some
thing of a sportsman, as you know, and
! fond of experimenting with new brands
| of powder. On this occasion l put Il
fair charge of the powder and plenty
| of shot, and blaZed away at While
I target about 100 feet away. When Tie
smoke cleared l didn't see a marx on
the target. This seemed incOnceiyADe'
for / fatter myself that l can bit three
| foot target. 1 walked over and looked
at it. Not a scratch on it. ! Tiled q
| pipe, lighted 1t, and thought about H.
1t wasn't possible could have mi'Se-
so completely. Just then there was q
little humming in the air and a TaIl,
. ing Oh the target. ! looked at II anu
found 1t covered all over Win s4O.
This was strange. Itpuzzled me. bl1
at last the truth broke upon me: !
scratched my head and remarked "
myself:
'Great Scott, but that's slow pow
derl''
The barkeeper gazed blankly al ILS s
crowd from the corner. The ta'e.I
cat meowed piteously, and stToVs ].
squeeze out OF 4 broken window mo III
| cold, cold storm. -.
During last Tuesdays election .. :.
Yonkers Lawyer a. J. Prime WoI,s. o. ..
the polls blue ribbon in his oul'Il, ~,
hole. One end of it was hidden ID " y
pocket. To a few intimate frisI-Il -I
Lawyer Prime showed the hidden 1L- ---'
of the ribbon. On it hung a UIy"- W.
leather medal with a scarlet Cel.'..
in letters of gold was engraved o- 90
the motto: