davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wichita eagle., 1888-05-04
Remedy for English Fogs.

If the virulence of English town fogs is
ever to be abated, it Will be by dint of steady,
quiet, unobtrusive alterations of domestic
arrangements, which it would be beneath the
dignity of a newspaper writer to notice. 1t
is hot too much TO hope that in time the pro-
duction of smoke from house chimneys viii
be stopped for at least the summer half OF the
year, owing to general use of gas cooking
stoves and kiicheners burning small coke.
Already there is a very sensible difference IN
this respect. for in entire rows of houses in
many towns not single fire is lighted for
months together The more that gas is pop
ularized among the poor, by weekly coilec-
lions of rental. automatic prepayment meters
and similar devices, the more s1nokeless viii
our towns become, for the humbleSt work
mans wife is the most likely to appreciate
the labor and time saving. capabilities of the
simple boiling stove for preparing the early
cup of tea, and it is the small fires otherwise
required for such purpose that make the
most smoke SmolelessneSS in summer is a
very good object for immediate endeavor;
winter sllokelesSneSs is more serious prob
lem Abuse 1t as we may, the cheerful open
fire of Goals is most suitable for combating
the chills and dampS which make UP an Eng
lish winter-Journal OF Gas Lighting.
Wichita eagle., 1888-05-04
At A FAMILY HOTEL
An Illustration of New York Life-Get-
ting Out of q Scrape.

An Illustration of New York Life-Get-
ting Out of Scrape.
How a woman got ont OF scrape IS true
little story and an illustration CT New York
life. Without doubt the worst place in
which man can place his wife Is family
hotel. 1t breeds idleness and then mischief.
In one Of these caravansaries dwelied three
youngi wives-call them Mrs. Z, Mrs. I,
and Mrs D. They were all under 80,
and had children, who lived with their
aursemaids and policemen in the park on
pleasant DAYS. or tramped about the hotel
corridors on rainy ones. Al these women
were given to filtration Down town hus-
bands are convenient creatures. The hours
when they were at home were the penalties
the wives paid for being married In the ab-
sence of the lords they had splendid times.
Each had mildly sentimental AFFAIR to en-
hven the day. Mrs. I was the eldest
and she had young slipof an admlrer who
clerked it in nearby bank. She encouraged
the lad; and, though she was ten years his
senior, he got desperately enamored- He be-
longed to a wealthy family. and his father,
finding a fine opening III western town Tor
his sons supposed talents, notlhed nm that
he had bought out half a business and wanted
him to go Immediately on TO take charge OF
it. Leave the lady of his love! The youth
full swain thought it over and bought a pls-
toll He put bright and shining cartridges
into its six little threats and went In pursuit
of Mrs. T. He vowed that ii she did not
leave the two small rs and the large he I
he would punctuate his own existeslce and
puncture her body with these shining cart
ridges.
Mrs. 7 was half mad with fear. She
begged for time to consider, and flew to the
other members of the trio for counsel Mrs.
c. the youngest and cleverest, asked If
Todlekins had any documentary evidence,
and received an assurance that not SO much
as an autograph could be produced.
'sThen," said she, ''the way is plain; there's
no knowing how soon we may all need the
others, and so we must stick by the one in
trouble l will meet my husband this very
evening and ask protection from young
Todlekins, who has sworn to shoot me unless
run away with him; and you, Maria." adj
dressing Mrs. D.
ST. said that lady, shave passed an after
noon that has almost turned my hair gray.
Young Todlekins called on me at II with a
pistol to swear he would have my life unless
/ went to Colorado with him next Monday"
That night three husbands proclaimed the
insanity of Todlelzins. Jr., whose father was
promptly on hand TO interview the three
matrons The circular story was issued He
had made love in the same terms to the three
women, he had urged all three to fly and he
had threatened the existence Of all. There
was no construction save insanity to put upon
bis ccnduct, and pa put himself in commune
cation with specialists at once. Todlekins
owned up he had proposed elopement to Mrs.
I, the eldest of the bunch. The old man,
who rather admired the lamb of the flock,
Mrs. C, took this for a new sign Of lunacy,
and sent his son off for tour in Europe
New York Sun.
Wichita eagle., 1888-05-04
Progressive Fucher Parties.

Progressive eucher parties are the greatest
possible rage in many quarters of the great
city at this particular juncture. Eucher,
thus revived, has a new degree of interest
The party is conducted upon the theory Of
making each member of the party acquaint-
ed with all the other members. A player
starts at one table among the several scat
tered about the room. If he wins at the first
table he passes on to the next. and is credited
with one game. If he wins again, he moves
forward one table. If he loses, he sits where
he is, and his opponent or opponents go on.
SO it progresses until the entire circuit is
made, when prizes are distributed to the most
successful players, while the failures smile
sWeetly and try not to seem envious. Under
this system every one in the room is brought
into direct contact with everybody else at
come time during the evening, and much of
the uneasy forrnality of ordinary social en-
tertainments is worn of.-New York World.
Wichita eagle., 1888-05-04
GOodby TO Boots.

We are bidding adieu to the ancient boots.
The rising generation won't have them. Not
only do sales fall off every year, but they fall
of at the wrong end. Only old men or labor
ing men buy them. Young America won't
touch them for daily use, and wants only
special kinds for fishing, hunting and rough
ing it in the woods 1t is hard to tell why
people don't care for them They are very
ornamental and very lasting. Their price
may have something to do with it, of course.
A pair of handsome boots cannot be made for
less than so, and cost from this all the way
up to $50. Perhaps swelldom is growing
economical There is still good demand for
boots from engineers, sea captains, naval
officers and army officials. Here they are
very useful and probably always viii be in
style-New York Star
Wichita eagle., 1888-05-04
New Dodge in Drinking,

Two men and a woman visited the min
strels at Detroit not long ago, entering the
theatre when the programme was about half
over The trio were very fashily dressed.
The elder man wore a sealskin coat and
the other a magnificent Inverness. They
stood up and removed them with ostentation.
Finally they became settled down and stared
through big opera glasses at the performance.
The persistency with which they leveied
their glasses at the stage excited comment.
The glasses were almost as large as those
used for field purposes. The woman, with
an insipid smile, sat idly sucking the handle
of her lorgnette. The elder man became un-
easy He began talking in a monotone and
applauded uproariously every situation on
the stage. Finally he joined in with E. NJ.
Hall on banjo solo. The younger man
tried to suppress his companions exuberance,
with partial success. Then the woman COM
niably intoxicated Manager Wright finally
to remove them.
Il was afraid of those people the minute
they entered" he said.
"WhY soF'
Gwen, you can tell by their opera glasses
that they meant trouble Those are the
latest fad. No more going out between acts.
You see, there are three cylinders. The cen
ter one and the outer part of the two others
are false. Four whisky glasses of liquor can
be placed in this glass. A little tin tube ex-
tends into the center cylinder. When drawn
partly out it opens the valve at its inner end.
As many persons hold an opera glass with
both hands, the deception is perfect, and the
contents of the cylinder can be drunk to the
last drop. An inventive genius in Washing
ton got up the idea only this fall, and he is
making good thing out of it, although lorg
nette handles that viii hold liquor or per-
fume are by no means new thing
Tribune
Wichita eagle., 1888-05-04
9ailu II Eaele'
WOMAN AND HOME.
THE STORY OF AN INVENTIVE
MAINE GIRLS SUCCESS.

Teaching Children Self ControI-Hygienic
Hints-Girls--Good Nature-She Was a
Woman-Advice to Hostess-SaEe
Your Strength-Paragrapbs.
The story of one Portland girl deserves to
be recounted. This is Miss Helen Blanchard,
now resident of Philadelphia, who was
specially gifted, and who succeeded in field
commonly supposed to be open only TO the
masculine intellect. She is of an inventive
mind, and with a passion for mechanical
continuance from her childhood. Naturally
she was foreordained to invent something,
and she did it, The something, or rather the
first thing she invented, was an attachment
for sewing machines to sew lover and-over"
stitches. The story that was told OF her runs
TO the effect that one day, while at work at
Eewing machine she got out of patience with
the way it worked, and in passion kicked
1t over, with the remark that she could make
better machine than that herself. Straight
way, continues the vivacious chronicler, she
proceeded to invent the lover and-over"
attachment.
In point Of fact, the account thus given is
largely myth. Miss Blanchard did not and
does not kick sewing machines, but she did
very decorously and properly, after long
and careful study, invent the ''over-and-over"
attachment, and obtained a patent on it.
This laid the foundation for the large for
tune which it is pleasant to be able to say
she now enjoys. She owns large estates, a
mandatory and many patent rights. Her
fortune, royalties and income, without ven
turing statements accurate enough to be i'm
pertinent, may be described in the fluent
language of the divine novelist or sensational
reporter, as beyond the widest dream of
Avarice" She earned it all herself. She had
no assistance from any one, and hired money
at 25 per cent to pay her first patent Office
fees-BoSton Globe.
Wichita eagle., 1888-05-04
Cnriosities Offered Rarnurn.

/ am asked if l receive many letters from
human freaks" and persons having curiosi-
ties for sale. reply that l receive hundreds
Of letters on all sorts OF subjects | look
over & single file of them, for instance Here
are letters offering ns chicken with three
legs, a dog with three legs, a pig like j white
elephant, a blue eyed cat, violin belonging
TO George Washington, cross eyed cat.
woody horse they are quite common nova
davs), a cat with SIX feet. Some schemes
suggested are good, as for instance, the ex-
hibition of the Pharaoh mummy and an ex-
hibition OF crystals and petrifactions from
our west. One man wants TO lecture on
Palmistry, and thinks New England pecu-
liarly adapted on account of the Intelligent
and discriminating curiosity of its fertile
minded sons and daughters" Another thinks
/ would Like to Have Fine Large SLACK
Bare who has bin Pet ever since He was
q Cub Heis daisey."-P T. Barnum in
The Epoch.
Wichita eagle., 1888-05-04
HIGH PRICES FOR PARROTS.
A Financial Sensation Among Fanciers~
Captains UnluclSy Investment.

A Financial Sensation Among Fanciers"
Captains UnluclSy Investment.
That chattering genius of the bird tribe
vulgarily known as the poll parrot is Great
ing something OF financial sensation among
fanciers, who find more customers than par
rots, but who are timid about holding their
prizes at such prices as now prevail, for fear
that West I.dia or South American fleet
may at any moment overstock the market.
'tSure enough. there's boom in parrots"
said Ninth street dealer, land we are get
ting high prices for the birds on hand especl-
ally for Brazilian pets that can talk. The
other day we sold bird for $50, and we
hold this one in the cage here pointing TO q
fine specimen on perch near by at $40.
''These are unusual figures, then"
"Oh, yes. We sold the $50 parrot partly
on its merit and partly because it bore a
strong resemblance to the recently deceased
pet of an old lady of Spring Garden street,
who was as fond of her bird as though it had
been her daughter. But it was bright
parrot, could whistle like flute, and knew
half dozen such tunes as Comm Thro' the
Rye Yankee Doodle Over the Fence is
OUT and The Old Man Drunk Again The
latter tune it learned from its last mistress,
along with sundry profane expressions, which
cut down its value at least $50. A parrot
that would spit out half dozen tunes with
out a cuss word, say Good night and Good
morning at the proper times and would not
fight with the house cat would, in the present
condition of the market, fetch $3.50"
SIS the parrot market corneredp
ooh no. That was tried once, and New
York firm bought up all the talking parrots
in the country quietly, at fair prices, and
waited for a big rise. Just as the corner was
about to succeed two vessels sailed into New
York harbor with several hundred birds on
board, and the pool was broken, the syndi-
cate losing over $780, 900 on the DEAL
But that was not so queer as the bad luck
of a captain who bought over hundred or
more parrots in 1884. He left Rio about two
months before the presidential election. The
captain was cock sure of Blasnes election,
and thought that he would make spec by
teaching the birds to say 'Hurrah for Blaine.
The sailors We're busy during the entire voy-
age instructing the bros in this single SEN
tence. When the vessel arrived Cleveland
had been elected and the parrots were a dead
loss. The captain didn't get enough for them
to pay the first cost"
"What are the prevailing prices now?"
well, Cuban parrots sell for from S. to
SIS, and Brazilian parrots from 500 to SIPS
These are double the prices which have been
prevailing. The result is due to limited
supply and a brisk demand. Parrots are
great pets, and an old lady the other day
bought an old parrot from US for $40 which
we had about made up our minds to give
away, just because the bird looked like one
which she had owned for years and which
had just died. philadelphia Record.
Wichita eagle., 1888-05-04
European Illustrated Papers.

1 have been frequently asked what 1
thought of the illustrated papers of the
Old World. Ny answer is, that they ap-
pear to me 70 be very much behind ours
IN several respects, and notably in organi-
cation. For example, the engravers and
artists in Europe are allowed To take their
work home, where they do il each in his
own way. and of course such a system
necessltateS an enormous waste of time,
and prevents them from performing the
rapid high pressure feats which we ac-
complish in the United States. Aithouph
European illustrated papers do not keen
abreast with the events of the moment as
ours do, still there is one point of sr,peri-
Gritty which am forced to accord them
viz, more perfect finish and q more ar
tistic treatment due, of course, to The
greater leisure of preparatiou.--Mts.
Frank Leslis's Letter.
Wichita eagle., 1888-05-04
Russian Officers Studying English.

a considerable number of officers of tbs
Odessa garrison, chiefly first ieutenants and
captains Of companies, are suddenly evincing
a remarkable sohcitude to acquire prac-
teal knowledge of English Several military
acquaintance of mine whom l have ques-
toned on the subject would not admit ths
fact, which have now learned by accident,
that the war ministry has recently offered
an incentive to given number of these Off
GERS in the shape Of increased pay and rank
so soon as their proficiency in our language
is proved / was naturally curious enough
to inquire a little further, but the marked
reticence of my military friends at once
proved to me that certain amount Of Sc
erecy had been imposed upon them A cap
tain of artillery admitted, however to me
that he and his fellow military students of
English anticipated that their promised pro-
motion would be by tranferrence to the
Transcaspian or eastern Asiatic divisions
with an advance of rank.-OdesSa Cor. Lon
con News
Wichita eagle., 1888-05-04
Cancer Hospital for Women.

The New York Cancer Hospital for Wo.
men, Just opened. is the only institution of
the kind in the country. The building stands
near the northern end of Central park, with
in sight of Gen Grants tomb. 1t has been
erected by means of subscriptions from
wealthy people, the principal gifts being
$4,000 from John jacob AStor and prop
erty in California, valued at $4,000. from
Elizabeth Hamilton CullInl, the grand
daughter Of Alexander Hamilton Frank
I<SliAA
Wichita eagle., 1888-05-04
CARL DUNDER'S WORDS.
CHUNKS OF WISDOM MADE MANIFEST
IN GERMAN DIALECT.

The Funeral Procession-Boys Who Don'i
wh;stle-Eariy Training-weather Lore.
Lucky Peopie-Beiief in Second Mar
riases-The Opinionated Man.
When I see long funeral procession vhaS
sure der widow or der vidower Will marry
again shust Ike grease.
II der Wind doan' blow my haystacks down
doan' shtop to ask where he comes from nor
| whittier he goes
hat seen lots of great men buried in costly
caskets, but dey vhas shust as dead as der
poor man in his pine coffin
Some folks dat doan' whistle nor sing hat
lots of time to ponder oafer deviltry. When
find poy who doan whistle 1 look oudt for
my apples.
I haf noticed sometimes dot / get madt
oafer vhas I doan' know aboudt sooner dan if
know all aboudt her We can forgive men
who dispute facts sooner dan men who dis
| pute theories.
After all, yhas was it to US if der worldt
rhas made in six days or six hoonered years!
We look more dot it shall be good year for
cucumbers.
1t vhas like all of US dot we could train oop
somepody elss's poy in der vhay he should go,
while our own trains himself COP.
| Der man vino runs a wagon all der time
mitout any grease would be called fool.
Der man who neafer allows himself play
spell vhas no peter.
hat no use for sornepody who gets drunk.
1t has taken man too long already to reach a
point where der peast leaves of und der man
pegins
OTHER WORDS OF WISDOM.
Maybe, If you watch eafery day for feefty
years. you can tell from der sunset vhas der
weather next day shall pc, but if you spend
dot same time NIT der pumpkins you vhas
rich und doan' care for weather.
TO say of some mans dot he vhas goot
hearted vhas more shentle vhay of saying
dot he got left pehind When der rest Of der
people goes NIT der idiot asylum.
Maybe 1 shall agree init my neighbors;
| maybe not. good deal depends on whether
my shickens scratch on my land or his
Envy vhas canker dot gnaws at der
heart. If some rich mans vhas poor dot
doan' make me any peter off. When some
pody goes by NIT e carriage der pest vhay
vhas to pelieve dot walking vhas der pest for
der health.
I know peoples who pellet in luck, und
know some lucky people. Der last vhas peo-
Piles who vhas willing to work hardt und pc
saving Der former vhas peoples who lif on
DER neighbors.
If find man who doan' hat some troubles
Iput him down as a person who vhas either
too hard hearted to feel grief or of too little
consequence for der Lord to notice
Maybe | belief in second marriages, but I
also like to say dot all der first husbands
clothes should be sold Ply der peddler's, und
dot der second husband doan' pay for der
gravestone.
When you find man ready to fight for his
opinion you must walk AWAY. He vhas
moro certain to be deadt wrong, und if you
lick him he vhas no petter.-Carl Dunder in
Detroit Free Press
Wichita eagle., 1888-05-04
Purchasers of Paintings.

Amateurs of paintings, that is purchasers,
may be divided into three classes, namely:
those who pay more for pictures than they
are worth; those who get them at their
proper value and those who have knack Of
making good bargains To belong TO the
third class one must almost inevitably pass
through the first two, and there are many
who spend their last dollar before reaching it.
Real cannoiSseurs are very rare: there are
very, very few experts who can be implicitly
relied on. Some amateur SPECTATORS are
very sly and at times make bold strokes
Here is noted example: Mr.. W. happened
to buy an unknown Rembrandt al rHotoi
Drouot for mere song. The painting was
genuine, but, not being known, it was not
quoted To launch it into renown, the owner
conceived the idea of putting it up again for
sale a. rHotel Drouot and of having one Of
his friends, who was in the secret, to push il
up TO So. oo0 This was sham sale. for Mr..
". refunded the money TO his friend and
kept the picture. But after that day the
Rembrandt was consecratsd and classed, for
ia the artistic circles the newly found picture
became the sopic of conversation Then
when Mr.. w. was certain that desire was
ripe in the hearts Of rich amateurs he again
put up the picture a. auttion and this time il
brought the round sum Of $50. 00o.-Paris
Cor Brooklyn Eagle.
Wichita eagle., 1888-05-04

Free reclining chair carr are rev running
on all trains On the c. Z & ~ railway.
"RocI Island Route" between Wichita
Topeka, Kansas City. 81 joseph. CElcAzo.
s. Lossla 81
Wichita eagle., 1888-05-04
Adulteration of Lard.

zone of the greatest evils OF the day." said
W. W. Kimball, of Boston. ''and/ one of the
most far reaching in its effectyf is the adul-
teration of lard The abuses emanating from
it are almost as bad as those abuses coming
from the manufacture and sale of into1icat-
ing drinks. 1t is a mater that the public is
not generally aware OF, yet 1T has been
proven by investigation and chemical analy-
ses that about 10 Per cent. of the product sold
for pure lard in this country is more or less
adulterated with foreign substances. These
compounds ore made of various ingredients,
such as beef and mutton tallow, cotton seed
oil, and, in some instances, of grease that
has been chemically whitened and deodorized.
In some cases there is no lard at all in the
compound, and YET the stuff is offered for
sale as choice, pure lard Chicago Times.
Wichita eagle., 1888-05-04

The Present Good
No longer forward nor behind
! look in hope or fear;
But, grateful, take the good / ind.
The best Of nov Sad here.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-03-22
MORPHIA HABlTUES.
The Agonies Suffered by Them When De-
prived of the Poison.

Inc ASOn1eS suffered by Inem " men De-
priyed of the Poison.
Watch a morphia habitue deprived of the
drug. The first slight uneasiness and
sense of discomfort gradually passes into
extreme restlessness, accompanied by the
most profound depression; the stomach
| becomes so irritable that nothing can be
retained, aud there is a nausea and dis
tress1ng sensation of emptiness and sink
| ing. The whole nervous system, which has
been working so long under a deadening
weight, abuses its liberty and runs abso-
lutte riot; a breath of air, which would
bring relief to an ordinary sufferer, is pain
full to him; so sensitive is the skin, that a
touch distresses, and even the eye and ear
are incapable of tolerating the most or
binary stimulations.
To these troubles is added sleeplessness;
the patient can not get moments rest; or,
il he should close his eyes in sleep, horri-
bic dreams and an indefinable terror taxes
possession of him, and makes him dread
that condition which others look to for con-
ISOLATION and relief. Incapacity to take food,
prolonged sleeplessness, constant sneezing,
yawning and vomiting, painful acuteness
of all his senses, and other troubles sink
the sufferer into o condition of prOstration
and despair, only to be relieved by morphia
Who, then, can wonder If the wretch
yields again to the drug which has so long
enslaved him? lowering between a longing
to be free and feeling of incapacity to en-
dure his agonies, he asks reproachfully
whether it is true that science has discov-
cred no means Of relief, no substitute for
morphia, which may be given him until the
storm be past. No, we have no means at
our disposal which will do more than ale
Viate these sufferings, and if the morphia
habitue will be freed he must place himself
under such control as can prevent his Civ
ing way under the trial, as he almost in
evitably will if left to himself
But severe as the ordeal is, he has this
consolation and this great inducement to
submit to it-namely, that it is short. A
few days will see him through the worst,
and although he may not be comfortable for
a week or two, his discomfort is endurable
and becomes less and less, until it gradu-
ally passes into ease and health.-Nb.etee,tth
Ie1,fur