The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1888-10-13
THE VANITY OF MEN.
II Leads Them Into Queer Doings
That Are Faithfully ChronicIed.

That Are Faithfully ChronicIed.
New York Graphical
There are very few men In the world
without some vanity. Perhaps It is
pardonable for man to be little vain
Of some great achievement for which
the rest of mankind ia willing to &C.
cord him honor, but a man who Is |
affected with a peacock-kind Of vanity
Is quite another sort of person.
A great many men are unconsciously |
vain. To accuse them of such weak !
ness would ba to bring from them an |
Indignant denial.
Take, for instance, the man with an
elegant moustache. He invariably
carries comb and looking glass,
and very often, forgetful Of the eyes of
the world, he viii take out his glass
and comb and proceed to caress into
curls the sweeping ends of the upper
lip adornment. The same man would
sneer at woman and her little powder
box, bat would be very indignant II
some lady should call him to time for
fondling that hirsute appendage OF his.
Ex-Attorney General Brewster, with
his badly deformed face, like the Duke
Va oAOoNVs 5OuNGuAy OCS0A0 buSOO60SJ
vain when the ladies of Philadelphia
paid him marked attention, and he at
once began entertaining the tailors TO
adorn his person, until he won repu-
tation for being an sold dandy"
Roscoe Conkiing, with all his bril-
liant attachments, was vain man as
| we'll as proud one. He was proud OF
his position, his influence and his re-
cord, and vain of his personal appear
ance. How often his hand wandered
to that hyperian curl that hung over
his broad forehead, and how tenderly
he caressed II when posing for effect in
debate.
An old maid is generally subdaed
and Inundated by the fact that she
has passed the heyday Of her youth
without finding some one of the male
persuasion that appreciates her enough
to we'd her, but with an old bachelor
1t is different. He is vain of the fact
that he has been able to withstand the
Establishments and winning graces of
the fair sex, and sail past the port of
matrimony without landing. He
laughs at the discontinue of Cupid and
vaingloriously boasts that his heart is
too tough for the little archer's arrows
to penetrate.
Kyrie Beilew, the actor, who sup
ported Mrs. Potter last season, is so
vain that he goes into Mysteries in case
any ono guys him. Last season a
member OF Mrs. Potter's company
wrote a song to the air Of "Tommy
Dodd," the chorus running like this
He rides IN tho palace car
With the star. with the star.
Kyle Bellew! Kyrle Below!
He's as ugly as an ape,
But he is stuck on his shape,
Kyrle Below Kyrle Below!
One night in Chicago, while Mrs.
Potter's company was performing
the Tommy Dodd" parody in the
dressing room, Bellew entered aud
heard 1t for the first time. His vanity
was so mortified that he would not go
on when his cue was sounded, and the
curtain had to be lowered in order to
give him time to recover his mental
equilibrium after the shock.
| There was an actor named Mackey
in New York years ago who was very
vain of his reputation as a handsome
man, and used to strut through the
streets to be admired by the ladies'
but one night in the old winter Gar
den Theatre he was cast for the part OF
Osrick in "Hamlet." 1t was his frs,
appearance in tights, and when he
came on the stage, spoke his lines and
posed for the admiring glances of the
ladies, some one in the front rows
and Mackey declared 1t was a lady, toe
said to her companion loud enough
for the actor to hear;
ooh, look at Mackey's legs. Amt
they funny ?"
He was so mortified and confused
that he left the stage and the theatre
and never was seen on the stage In
New York again. He sailed for En-.
gland the next day.
] THE BEA UIYFUL.
! beautiful faces ara those that wear-