Wichita eagle., 1888-02-04

mo you DON'T. answered the head or the
firm ''You buck Your money away at
monte and talk about rest. Now, Arm
strong, go right down the bank, sir, into tho
river As the command was peremptory
and spirit of obedience seemed the safest,
Armstrong obeyed without paTley and down
he went, over his head and ears store clothes
: and all. into the cold mountain stream. 1t
was a long time thai he remained in the
water and under the water. He would come
to the surface every little while TO talk, you
understand. 1t was impossible for arm
strong to forbear talking. 'Oh, yes" he
would say as 20 came lip and suuffed the
water from his nose, you'll buck your
money away at three card monte, will you!
How do YOU like the water cure!n His
words were. of course. duly punctuated by
irregular plunges and catchinss Of the
breath.
IL so happened that the man who kept the
shanty hotel at the Packers Roos. had a
woman for a wife. She, being a kind
hearted creature, besought her lord TO so
down and "help the poor crazy man out OF
the water
.'Pshaw," said the OK driver, she amt
crazy man: he's fool He walked behind
my wagon and talked to himself all the way
from Scrabbletown."
Thereupon arose lengthy discussion about
the difference between a crazy man and a
fool. But after while the landlord and the
OK driver went down to the bank and agreed
to 60 to Armstrong; security against buck
Ing at monte in the future if he would come
out OF the water So he came out and went
up to the house.
ssWill Won have cup Of tea or coffeeF'
said the woman, kindly.
YES, madam said Armstrong, 81 will
take both"
He is crazy, sure as can be-" said the
woman. But she brought the two cups as or
dered sMilk and sugar" she inquired,
kindly as before.
ssNo, madam, mustard and red pepper"
answered Armstrong.
II do believe he is fool" said the woman,
as she went for the pepper and mustard.
Armstrong, with deliberate GOODNESS, put
a spoonful of red pepper into the tea and
spoonful of mustard into the coffee. Then
he poured the two together into tin cup
Then the old conflict ragged again, and high
above the din of rafting tin cups and pewter
spoons, sounded the stern command: Arm
strong, drink it, sir-drink it down" mo-
mentary hesitation and q few desperate
gulps and it was down. ''Oh, yes" said our
hero, as his throat burned and the tears ran
down his eyes, ''you buck your money away
at three card monte, do youf'
Now, the Thompsonian dose above de-
scribed, very nearly ended the battle with
poor Armstrong. He was silent for quite
time and everybody else was silent. After
a while the landlord ventured to suggest that
a bed could be provided if one was desired.
NO" said Armstrong, ''I'll sleep on the
floor. You see, stranger said he cycling
the landlord with a peculiar expression,
this fool has been squandering gold dust at
monte-three card monte-and does not de-
serve to sleep in a bed"
So armstrong ended the days battle by
going to bed on the floor. Then came the
dreams He first dreamed that he was sleep
ing on the North Pole and his head in the
tropics, while all the miners in Yuba were
ground sluicing in his stomach. Next, be
dreamed that he had swallowed Mount
Shasta for supper, and that the old mountain
had suddenly become an active volcano and
was vomiting acres and acres of hot lava.
Then the scenes shifted, and he seemed to
have found his final abode in place OF vile
smells and fierce flames, politely called the
antipodes of heaven. And while he writhed
and groaned III sleepless agony fork tail
fend, with his thumb at his nose, was saying
to him i'll hooking voice: "You buck your
money away at three card monte, do you
hey!' But even this troubled sleep had an
end at last, andsArmstrong arose. When he
looked at himself in the broken looking
glass that hung on the wall he thought his
face bore traces of wisdom that he never saw
there before. SO be said, Il think You have
learned a lesson, Armstrong. You can go
back to your mining now, sir, and leave
monte alone
Time showed that he was right. His lesson
was well learned. The miners looked q little
curious when he reappeared at the camp, and
still called him crazy. But he had learned a
lesson many of them had never learned, poor
fellows. They continued their old WAYS,
making money fast and spending it foolishly
even giving it to monte dealers. But the
Armstrong firm was never broken in that
way but once. After that, whenever he saw
one of the peculiar signs, Robbers Roost,"
"Fleccers' Den," or Fools Last Chanco,"
Armstrong would shake his head with a
knowing air and say TO himself as he passed
along, "Oh, yes, Armstrong, you've been
there: you know all about that: you don't
buck your money away az three card monte
not muchl"-Overland Monthly.