Waterbury evening Democrat., 1888-07-14
OUR EXPECTATIONS.
"How very unfortunatew

dining room of our tiny, old fashioned cot tage at Lowthorpe Before us each lay an open letter, and it was the contents of these letters-individuall and collectively-which had called forth the remarks set down above. To be more explicit, Elias letter was from her uncle Gregory Carper, signifying his intention of paying us visit on the follow ing Tuesday. My letter was from my uncle, Simon Finicker. saying he intended paying us a visit on the following Tuesday.
 Nothing particularly alarming in that, you thinks
 Wait little Old Gregory Carper was a most eccentric and irascible individual of reputed fabulous wealth, who had moro than once distinctly stated that it was his inten tion to make his only niece trny wifel his heiress. Old Finicker, my mothers brother, was also rich in this worlds goods, and 1t was generally understood that 1, Charles Danvers, was to be his heir. And between these two old men there was deadly feud. The quarrel had taken place six months ago: and each uncle (after giving us an exhaustive catalogue of the enemys enormities) had sworn in turn that if we, Ella and Charles Danvers, exchanged words, letters or visits with the said enemy in future, we should be ostracized by the remaining uncle forever
 Now, for more reasons than one, Ella anti looked upon this as a serious contingency and regret to say that we had recourse to du- plicity. We gave each uncle to understand that we held the other as the scum of the earth df we didn't exactly say so, we implied iN: and, so far, we had kept on tolerably friendly terms with both. We called our baby we had baby-Gregory and Simon by turns He had been christened Simon Greg ory in the presence of both uncles just week before the fatal quarrel took place. Poor little soul! used to shudder when thought of his debut with such a name at the public school where his mother talked already of sending him.)
 offer no excuse for our unpardonable con- duct acknowledge that played the part of a mean, abject sneak. But 1 trust the reader will see that, under existing circum- stances, the projected simultaneous visits of these two uncles was, to say the least of it. awkward.
 However, there was no help for it. To write and put either off woald offend the put off one almost as mortally as to allow the dreaded meeting to take place.
 'There will be a fine scene," l observed grimly, after short pause. By joveI there will"
 Ella stirred her coffee abstractedly; and stuck my eggspoon vindictively through the shell of my third egg, with vague wish that 1 were inflicting corporeal injury on either objectionable relative.
 "CharlieI" said my wife, in piteous tones, when some few minutes had elapsed, "what shall we dof"
 Ask me something easier, my dear," re piled gloomily.
 Ut is so awkward in every way" she went on. "Jane does not raturn from her holiday until Wednesday," Jane was our housemaid.) And cooks being deaf makes her sc stupid And your uncle is so fidgety and particular" she added.
 did not reply, but reread both letters si lently. No, there was no mistake; both uncles were coming on Tuesday. Mir. Carper proposed three days visit; MT. Finicker In tended starting early on Wednesday morn ing to attend cattle show some twenty miles from Lowthorpe. He would come down, he my unclel said, by the 5:15 from Waterloo
 ''As usual, Mr. Carper does not mention the train he intends coming down bY," ob served dryly. ''There only remains, as 6 climax, that they should both elect to come by the 5:15."
 70, Charlie! Surely not!"
 "I think it is more than likely" l re turned with the calmness of despair, as proceeded to unfold the newspaper. I had just ten minutes to read and digest it before catching my train up to town.
 Charlie, how can you sit there coolly reading the papers," exclaimed my wife almost in tears.
 My dear" demonstrated, ''there are five days to come before Tuesday. We donr know what may happen in that time One oi the old fools may-er-ahem! We can tall it over when come home tonight" I con cluded hastily. Then, with what have beer told is the innate selfishness of the masculine mind, plunged into the news of the day. When l came home at night Ella met me with beaming smile.
 "Charlie," she began gleefully, as l di vested myself of my hat and overcoat, ''l | have thought of plan"
 "A plan 2" echoed vaguely.
 Reader-I give you my word had forgot ten all about those two f1endish old men.
 "Oh, the uncles!" groaned, after a mo ment's reflection "Let US have dinner first Nell, and indigestible relatives afterward."
 Ella, as all we'll drilled little wives should do, obeyed her lord and master, and dinner proceeded as usual.
 When had lighted my post-prandial pip' I stretched myself out upon the sofa, folded my arms behind my head, and intimated tha 1 was ready to hear the ''plan."
 My wife came and seated herself on low l
 "You see, Charlie" she began, with round solemn eyes fixed upon mine, "I have though and thought all day, and this seems the onl! thing to be done"
 Well p 1 said expectantly. as she paused
 "Well, '" she went on, Il am confident tha Uncle Simon will arrive first on Tuesday and he shall have the pink room"
 "I have no objection" observed, as sh paused again. but fail to see how that cal help us."
 Charlie, you are so stupid, dear. Yo, know there is something the matter with tn lock of the pink room door," looked-as 1 feltr-bewildered
 'Yes," assented, helplessly.
 "Wel, Charlie," in impatient tones "don' you understandF
 Il confess to being still at sea, my dear" said, with abject humility. But go on Unfold your plan, and my feebler intellec will try to follow. The uncle who appear first upon the scene, Uncle Simon, think yo said, is to have the pink room, and there something the matter with the lock of tn pink room door. 1 think have mastere these two important details" And apresp'N
 Don't you seef" my wife went on witt growing excitement "The lock has oftel stuck fast before. It did the last time Uncl Simon was here. We could not get it ope