Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1888-03-06
SHORT STOPS.

A Duluthian whose recently ac-
quired wife wears the name of Emma,
says he's not exactly henpecked, but
he feels slightly Embossed.-Duluth
Paragrapher.
She Gust through rlayinR)-"l
fear, Mr. Sniggle', my music is too
poor TO give you enjoyment" lie
(assuringly)-"O, indeed, | do enjoy
it. 1t does not take much TO please
me in the line of music, you know"
Nurse Ito young husband)-"A
beautiful teI-pound baby, sir"
Young husband getting things
mixed in his excitemenD-"Glorious
Am a father or mother."-Texas
Siftiugs.
"And so your sister really said last
night that she thought | was Il little
daisy, did she, Bobby ?" asked Feath-
erly, striving TO hide his exultation.
"Yes' responded Bobby, "and pa
said that he shouldn't be surprised,
as he had often seen you little day
himself."-Epoch.
Bobby-"Ms, tell me what you do
up there behind the minister in
church every Sunday?' MAJ
chant" Bobby (pouling)-"I don't
think you're very polite. You never
let me say 4 shan't when l don't
want to give anything away."-Bing-
hampton Republican.
Miss Browning (of BOstoB)-Mr.
Berrill, do you believe that rose by
any other name would smell as
sweet?
Mr.. Berrill (of Chicago)-It would
Mr.. b. (misers6iy'})2.aDo&agi-.
hay fever,-Tid Bits.
"Where is the island of Cuba sit
uated ?" asked an Austin school teach
er of a small, rather forlorn looking
boy.
81 dunno, SIR"
"Don't you know where sugar
comes from ~
"Yes, sir, we borrow il from the
next door neighbor. Texas Siftings
Miss Prude (aged 40; going to bed,
-"Somebody's Under my bed My
goodness, can it be Fido? Fido! FL
dol (She holds out her hand undel
the bed, and the wise burglar lick
it, Oh, all right. 1t is Fido"
Retires, reassured, to sleep through
the burglary.-French joke.
They were twenty miles from thC
Missouri River, bound east.
conductor" said passenger
"when do we reach Kansas City ?"
"We're there now"
"There now? Why, there isn't 1
house in sightw A..
mo houses. no. But look at th,
bui9dinglonl The prairies are fui
of 'cm. Life.
The simple Irish woman's baby
had fdinting spell, and the doctor
came. lie called for some water, and
was about TO sprinkle il over the
child's face to restore him. The
mother stopped him.
cloud on, doctor, hould on | sin,
for you to cure my baby;1 didn'
sind for you to baptize him. l dom
want any child of mine baptized by
a medical man."
"Why don't you run paper like
that?" a grocery merchant said to 4
reporter this morning, throwing ou
a Chicago daily. For the same rea
son that you don't run grocery likt
that" the reporter replied, turning Il
an advertisement of Chicago houst
showing a twelve-story building
The grocery man looked attentive a
the picture a moment and said: 81
never looked at it that way before
Atchison Globe.
Mrs. A-"What sort of people are
your next door neighbors ?"
Mrs. B.-"They are about as stiDgy
as people get to be-"
ais IT possible9"
"They are SO s,ingy they starvl
themselves. Well III give you SOM
idea how they live. l was there th,
other day, and 1 saw a mouse re
duced TO skeleton come out of thei
pantry with tears in his eyes,
Texas Siftings.
Jones-IIello, Bill l hear you hav
a position with my friends, Skinne
IL Co?
Bill-Oh, yes; have position a
collector there.
Jones-That's first.rate. Who rec
commended you?
Bill-Oh nobody. 1 told them tina
l once collected bill from you, an,
they instantly gave me place.
Judge.
0TAYTrTAYN HAnD