davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1888-04-12
A HIGH-HAT STORY.
The Latest Evil Growing Out of Exag.
gerated Female Head-Gear.

The Latest Evil Growing Out of Exag-
gerated Female Head-Gear.
Interpre ers are probability OF the
future, if high hats continue to be
worn at the theater.
There was young woman at the
theater one evening last week with
hat on like the leaning tower of Pisa
Behind her was another woman vainly
trying to see the play. Every few mo-
ments this woman would nudge her
husband and ask:
Harry. dear! what are they doing
noaoa''
Harry dear, with set teeth They
have just thrown Jack over the cliff
down into ravine eight hundred feet
deep"
A little grunt of satisfaction and
sweet silence for several minutes.
Harry, dear, have they found the
bodyp''
1T didn't kill him, Goosie. They
are trying it over again. answers
Harry dear
A succession of pistol shots, and
Mrs. Harry tries to climb over that
hat in front of her, but falls igno-
miniously to get either over or around
1t.
Harry, dear, what are they doing
asosO?''
They are throwing him down an
old mining shaft. Now they set it on
fret
"Oh. how lovely! and I can't see
single thing What are they shouting
for?''
His sweetheart rescues him. She
is lifting him out of the burning mine.
He is saved!"
More silence, and Mrs. Harry con.
templates the back hair of the owner
of Pisa. Then more shouts.
Harry, dear, what are they doing
aaow?"
ut is bar-room in a mining-camp.
A fellow is just trying to sneak
drink"
A golden silence for brief space,
then
Harry. dear?'
'.W-h -a-a-t!'
did he get it?'' Detroit Free Press.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1888-04-12
COMPETENT JURYMEN.
The Variety Adapted for Service in I'm
portant Criminal Cases.

The Variety Adapted for Service in I'm.
portant Criminal Cases.
Competent jurymen are becoming
scarcer and scarcer every year. By
competent jurymen, we mean. of
course. jurymen who are absolutely
incompetent.
Thanks to the press. the number of
men who have absolutely no ideas is
becoming less and less every year, and
it is only such that are desired in the
jury box. Possibly, in order to save
the jury system, the jury commissioner
of the future will be allowed to select
talesmen from the lunatic asylums and
the homes for the fee BILE minded.
What an easy time the lawyers must
have had finding suffi ciently-stupid
jury during the Middle Ages, when
there were no newspapers, and even
Kings did not know how to write their
names without an assistant.
The difficulty that seems to preveil
in New York in unear; hing jurymen
sufficiently obtuse for judicial pur-
poses may be obviated by a change of
venue. For instance we read the
other day that there is mountain
village in Arkansaw where not one of
the inhabitants can read or write. If
a change of venue to Arkansaw is in
convenient. why not import those
model jurymen? For that matter,
why not utilize the green Italian inn
migrants that arrive continually at
Castle Garden. who. in addition TO
being profoundly stupid. are utterly
ignorant of the English language, and
could not tell the difference between a
verdict and porous plaster.
The selection of n jury in New York
abounds in comic features AS gem
eral thing. when Doodle aldermen are
tried. nobody is locked up except the
jury.
Occasionally, man is summoned to
appear as juror six months after his
death. On one occasion a man seventy
six wears old was excused. not only on
account of his age. but because he had
the whooping cough. If you are
searching for more phenomenal igno-
rance than you can find in an intelii-
pence Office, go and examine a batch
of New York jurymen. The propr1e-
tors of dime museums who desire TO
replenish their stock of freaks should
not overlook the jury box Unexpected
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1888-04-12

board. We never saw such things
before. No other government could
ever make ships like that Inc cnleI
wanted to distribute Rs 90o among
the crew for showing all these won
derful things, but the Captain OF the
ship said the sirkar would be very
angry at their accepting present.
The chiefs again wanted to give the
sailors a present, but were told that
they could not be allowed to DO so. as
what had been shown to them had
been shown for their own amusement.
When we went down in the hold we
saw the mems tables spread In
minute and again taken up. their oeds
put down and taken up-all done IN
minute-and in a moment the ship
was made ready for fight The Dig
guns were fired. but only with fuses.
We saw the sailors going up the rig.
ging very quickly. at the double ana
run up the masts and remain quiet
there. We have never seen these
things before. We were presented to
the Lord Sahib of the sea, who was
very kind to us.
I'VE were then taken to - UNI dun1'
where we saw a small-arms manu-
factory and the workmen making
cartridges and bullets Another day
we visited the Englishnsan newspaper
office, and saw them printing, and
also making lead letters. One OF us
wrote verse in Persian. A sahib
then took paper. and with machine.
which cut like a very sharp knife into
some white stuff. he wrote 1t. Then
lead was poured on. and in few min
utes they were printing the verse on
some copies of the Engiishman. which
were presented to us. We also spoke
through the telephone. Some OF US
were at the Englishman office and
some at Messrs. King Hamilton's. and
we recognized each others voice.
Then we visited the telegraph Office,
where we spoke with friend at
Peshawur-all in a few minutes. One
of us asked a relative at Peshawur how
he was. as he had been suffering from
fever. He replied: Quite well; how's
your boilP' Now, these words aston
ished us very much. because none OF
us knew that this man had had a boil
only his relative at PeshawuE Great
are the ways of the sirkar! London
Times.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1888-04-12

CHICAGO, April A party of tramps
who were trying to steal a ride on an
Alton freight train last night shot and
killed E. d. Kreigh, a Waterman, who at
tempted to put them off, and mortally
wounded another Waterman named Daniel
Brazell. Officers secured the vicinity OF
the murder all night, but they were un-
able to discover any trace of the murder
ers. At first there was an impression that
the murder was connected in some way
with the railroad strikes, but Lieutenant
Shea said he was satisfied that there was
no ground for any such sapposition. He
is confident that the murderers were
simply tramps, seeking to steal ride out
of the CITY.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1888-04-12
ASTONISHED AFGHANS.
A Chief Writes of His Visit to Calcutt
and Of What He Saw.

A Chief Writes of His Visit to Calcutta
and Of What He Saw.
Certain Afghan chiefs in charge of
the Khyber pass have lately visited
Calcutta as guests of the government.
The following is an interesting ac-
count which has been given by one of
their number of the impressions de-
rived from his visit.
This is Kings country; every one
ought to be astonished at seeing all
the wonderful things to be seen in it.
The thing which has most astonished
us is the regularity with which every
thing is conducted. During our railway
journey we arrived at the differen
stations and left again with great
regularity, as arranged. There is
no hing like this in our country. A
country which is ill-governed is not a
good country.
1--WE arrived at Calcutta early in the
morning. and, being tired. stayed in
our lodgings the whole of that day.
On the day following we went
to Howrah to see the railway
station and the workshops. We
saw all the engines at work. There is
nothing like these in our own country.
which is poor country. We were
then taken to the mint and saw the
pice and four-anna pieces that are be-
ing coined there. The Cabul rupees
are only worth twelve and one hall
annas; they are stamped with die
and hammer There is nothing to
equal this government either in its
silver or any thing else. or in its
management of the country. We
visited the fort the next day. and con.
sidered that very strong. We saw all
the cannon and big guns there. They
are very good guns.
1--WE were then taken to the DO.
tanical gardens in steam launch.
This is the first time we have been on
board steamer. and we enjoyed the
trip very much. The gardens are by
far the finest we have ever seen. We
were then taken to the geological gar
dens and to Mateabruz, the palace Of
the late King of Dude, which is very
fine place. We saw all the animals a.
the geological gardens. Some of the
animals here we had seen before a
Cabul, but some of them we have
never seen before, and they greatly
astonished us, as we could not tell Il
what country they belonged.
I'VE then paid visit to the Bac
chante, and were truly astonished BY
the big guns and by every thing OF
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1888-04-12
TOO MUCH STUDYING.
tnhuman Treatment of Children in the
II Grh

lnnum8n treatment Oh ChuuFeH CHO
Public Schools.
In the report of the State Board of
Health just issued, superintendent
Anderson, of this city. has an impor-
:ant paper on the necessity of more
physical exercise for pupils. Although
it is the presumption that every pupil
has the amount of physical energy
necessary to meet the demands of
school work. rs matter of fact a
large proportion are deficient in this
respect.
But the point to which attention is
directed is the excessive demand the
school makes on pupils. Mr.. Ander-
SON gives the result of his inquiries of
pupils who are attending a sch TOOL
where they are fitting themselves for
the work of teaching. We give here
the hours of work in school, the hours
of study out of school. and the total
hours of mental work done by the
first Gig hit pupils:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1888-04-12
chief Arthur Will Not Resign.

CHICAGO, April 5.-Chief Arthur tel
egraphed to Chairmon Hage and presidents
Sargent yesterday that he would be IN
Chicago on Friday or Saturday. He an
nounced that he had no intention OF re-
signing from the Brotherhood, and that ne
proposed to stand by the Burlington strlk-
ers until they succeeded in bringing the
company to terms.
The situation last evening was perfectly
peaceful, and all the trains were being run
on schedule time. No attempts were made
10 lnSerrere with the men on duty, and 1t
was generally believed that all further at
tempts 10 interfere with the Burlington
&ei2ht business would be abandoned.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1888-04-12
monstrosities swarm in the court

monstrosities swarm in the court
rooms.
There is a legend to the effect that
one of the physicians at Bellevue Hos
pital. being DESTROYS of ascertaining
the effect of electricity on the brain
pulp. ran needle nine inches long
seventeen times into the head of d
professional New York juror with such
discouraging results that he gave up
the job. saying that he could continue
the experiment with more show of
success on his wife's emery bag.
Texas Stftinqs.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1888-04-12
AT ingham. Ala. DR.. Jone

AT Birmingham, Ala. DR.. Jones
discovered a raccoon in a yard back of
a drug store and took a novel method
of capturing it. He procured fish
pole, a sponge and chloroform. Stand
ing at distance he lowered the sponge
to the nose of the sleeping animal and
held it there until the coon was stupe-
fed. Then. tearing thashe might be
bitten, he arranged alosso and caug hit
the coon without difficulty.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1888-04-12
"A young woman of

"A young woman of Louisville,
KY, while singing before a large
company the other evening. became
conscious of shrill, harsh, metallic
sound. like that made by the loos Sc
string of piano. She stopped in the
middle of her song, unable to endure
the discordant sound. The piano
seemed to be all right, and no one had
heard the unusual noise. She began
again. and again heard the sound, and
had to give up her attempt. She after
ward discovered the source of the
noise. 1t was breastpin which she
wore close to her throat, and which,
the setting being loose, vibrated at
certain tones of the piano. and of
course the sound was heard plainly by
the singer, though by no one else.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1888-04-12

A mouse got into the money
drawer of an office at Tulare. Cal,
and began gnawing away at some val
liable papers. he selected promis-
sorry note for $500. and attacking the
corner on which the signature was
written chewed it into thousand
fragments. leaving the BODY Of the
paper intact.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1888-04-12
THE SMYRNA FIG.
How the Toothsome Fruit is Prepared
the Market.

How the Toofhsome Fruit is Prepared for
the Market.
The fig market at Smyrna has an
appearance scarcely in accord with
the Importance of its transactions or
the area over which its goods are ulti-
mately distributed. Two narrow,
dirty streets, lined with shanties. are
devoted to the staple industry of the
place. tits with figs as other highly
priced articles of food-the less we
know of the earlier stage of them the
greater our comfort in their consump-
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1888-04-12
Proud of His Wife.

Grocer-You say that your wife,
Uncle Rastus, supports the family by
taking in washingP
Uncle Rastus-Yes. sab.
Grocer-Well. don't you feel a little
bit ashamed at timesP
Uncle Rastus Shamed? No. sab;
dere's nothin' degradln' bout takin'
in washin'. Ise proud OBJ de ole
'ooman. Y Sun.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1888-04-12

1t is difficult to bring magnetic
men to cash business. They want to
be charged. - cauune.
, 1888-10-03

The Chinese are supposed to AVE been
the inventors Of paper They used rice
straw or rags of cotton or linen for making
their paper stock. Modern nations fol
lowed their example. but made few i'm
provements on the ancient process until
within the last forty years Since then
every decade has witnessed great advances
in this industry New methods, processes,
and machinery have been devised. new
materials brought into use, and new and
multifarious forms of the manufactured
product now enter into the economies of
modern life. Rags are gathered in all
parts of the world and brought by ship
loads to the United States, but they are
no longer the chief raw material Paper
fbers are obtained from old rop'. jute
butts. straw of the various grains. from
many grasses and reeds. and from the
wood of cypress. pine, poplar. spruce,
hemlock, Eastwood, sycamore and other
trees Now great mills prepare the fiber
stock for paper manufacturers, who buy
it by the ton, in bulk. and then work it
into whatever shapes their business re-
quires AS it costs far less to carry
chemicals to the forests than it would to
transport the logs. wood pulp establish
ments are generally located near sources
of supply
The chief chemicals are lime. potash,
SOFA ASH, ana cauStlc SODA. These alkalleS,
dissolved in water to make the cooking
liquids, have been employed in huge
wooden tanks, in which, because the tenn
perature could not be carried above boil
ing heat, it was necessary to continue the
cooking from two to three days The
progress of invention has recently made it
possible to greatly reduce the time re,
quired for this purpose. The demand for
paper in all forms for old and new uses is
unlimited. and is daily increasing. In
no part of the globe is there a greater
variety of vegetable fbers than in the
south. whose cane brakes. swamps. for
ests and cotton fields can furnish mex
haustible quantities for all time. The
cotton plantations alone could probably
supply every pulp mill in American with
a material cheaply gathered and handled,
and containing a long, strong. beautiful
fiber. -BaItimore journal of Commerce.
, 1888-10-03

In Skiatos, one of the Grecian isles,
there has been no case of diphtheria for
over thirty years until the summer of
1884. when a child died of the disease,
and in the course of five months there
were over 100 cases, with thirty-six
deaths, in a community of about 1000.
Careful Investigations of the origin of the
epidemic resulted in tracing it to a flock
of infected turkeys received from Salon
Tea, and which on examination showed
unmistakable evidence of the diphtheria
process, DR.. Paulinis, the reporter (Bul-
letin Medicall. concluded from this ex-
p~erience that the diphtheria of the ord
mary barn yard fowls was similar in its
course and symptoms to the disease &C.
curing in man. and that it could be car
ried from the one to the other, sometimes
through the medium of the air.-Chicago
News.
, 1888-10-03
DEMOCRATIC CALL.

The Democrats of Laramie county are
hereby called upon to elect delegates from
their respective precincts to the Demo
cratic County Convention to be held at
thec court house in Cheyenne on Thurs
day, Oct. 4, 1888, at | o'clock D.. H., tor
thep purpose of electing ten QC) delegates
to the Territorial Democratic Convention,
and placing in nomination candidates for
the various offices, to-wit:
Three (3) members of the Council of
the Eleventh Legislative Assembly for
the first council district.
Six (6) members of the f ouse of Rep.
resentatives of the Eleventh Legislative
Assembly for the first representative dis
trict.
One ~ member of the House of Rep
resentatives of the Eleventh Legislative
Assembly for the twelfth representative
district, including the counties of Albany.
Converse and Laramie, in such manner
as shall hereafter be determined upon.
One ~ sheriff.
One ID county clerk.
One % probate judge.
One ID county and prosecuting attor-
ney.
Three (3) county commissioners.
One VI assessor.
One (l) surveyor.
One ~ coroner
One ~ road supervisor for each road
district.
One a. superintendent of schools.
Two (2) justices of the peace for the
Cheyenne precincts.
One (D Justice OF the peace for each
of the other precincts.
Two (2) constables for the CHEYENNE
precinct.
One Q) constable for each of the other
precincts.
Five t5) members of the coun ty central
committee.
And for the transaction of such other
business as may properly come before
the convention.
The primary meetings of the various
precincts for the election of delegates will
be held on Saturday Sept. %, 1888, at
the place set opposite the names of the
respective precincts.
The primary meetings in the Cheyenne
precincts will be held at I o'clock D. m.
of that day and the polls be kept open
until $3.50 o'clock D. M.
The several precincts will be entitled to
representation as follows.
, 1888-10-03

Mr.. Little has strong opinions not ia
vorable to the current idea of the wealth,
strength and prowess of China and her
value as an ally, and considers that these
are only remotely potential He thinks
the Chinese possess "a much less highly
developed organization than do the eau
casian races finds their religion consists
in "propitiating evil spirits, and that they
can hardly apr ate the Christian
ideal" On the O." u'r hand, they have
many virtues, t,. although the social
system is underlined throughout by pee
ulation and deceit. from the armies
which only exist in the commander-in-
chiefs wardrobe and the public granaries
containing only chaff. down to the pres.
ents not intended for acceptance and the
proclamations never meant to be OBJ
served" 50 that the empire is a sham;
yet still he is forced to admit, on reiec.
ton and in fairness, that such is the per-
sistent industry of the Chinese that with
highly gifted rulers to guide and rule
them, they may yet be a great people,"
AS illustrations of their readiness to
obey he points to the edict of Kublai
Khan. which directed that the cemeteries
should be plowed up, an edict obeyed and
only revoked two centuries ago. and to
the Manchu orders which abolished the
flowing robes and imposed the pigtail.
The first emperor of the present dynasty
ordered the tribes of Yunan. "on pain Of
death, to learn ~Pekingese," and was
obeyed Mr.. Little thinks that mad we,
when masters of Picking. had the cour-
age to usurp the dragon throne. and had
we issued an edict prohibiting thence
forth the mutilation of children's feet,
the command would have beer obeyed,
sullenly, perhaps, at first, but afterward
thankfully" That. undoubtedly, would
have been an immense social reform, lib
Grating from torture and physical de-
formity the women of China.-London
Spectator.
, 1888-10-03

In a discussion of this subject by Brit
ish physicians of eminence, DR.. Symons
Eccles declared. as the results of his own
experiments on healthy persons, from a
combination of the various massage man
ipulations. that the texture of the skin
was improved. the sense of locality in.
creased, the general body temperature
was raised and the free surface tempera-
ture of a part under massage became
higher than that of the rest of the body,
while abdominal massage decreased the
surface temperature of the extremities;
a course of massage of one months dura-
ton increased the body weight. the appe-
tite, muscular strength and ability to
sleep and work well.
DR.. Playfair expressed it as his opinion
that massage is only one agent, along with
overlooking and freedom from previous
surroundings, in the treatment of pro-
found cases of nervous debility or malnu-
triton, the exact character of which is
not as yet thoroughly understood; some of
the cases which were commonly accounted
as incurable and were a curse to their
families could, he thought, be cured by
these means.-New York Tribune.
, 1888-10-03

Were war to embody itself in q human
shape, it could find no better incarnation
han the fierce. tiger like beauty of the
Circassian in his battle array. with his
shining helmet and ringing mail. his saber
clanking at his side, and his long noun
tain rifle on his shoulder. But even in
his more peaceful dress of embroidered
white tunic and sheepskin cap. loose black
velvet trousers. and sash of crimson silk,
there is something barbaric and warlike
about his whole appearance which harmon
ICES only too well with the flash of his
eagle eye and the stern compression of
his mustached lips. You can see at a
glance that war and peril and bloodshed
are this mans natural element, and that,
when tanned and civilized. he will lose not
only his native picturesqueness, but even
the very handspring of his existence
David Ker in The Cosmopolitan.
, 1888-10-03

are spent every year by the people of this
state for worthless medicines for the cure
of throat and lung diseases, when we
know that if they would only invest 81 in
Santa Able, the new California discovery
for consumption and kindred complaints,
they would in this pleasant remedy find
relief. 1t is recommended by ministers,
physicians and public speakers of the
Golden State. Sold and guaranteed by
DIR. w. N. Hunt, at 81 a bottle. Three
for 81. so. The most stubborn case OF
catarrh will speedily succumb to Califor-
MIA Cat-R-Cure. Six months treatment
for 81. By mail $l.l c.