The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-20
BRIGHT BITS

CLERK TO busy employerl-There is gentle,
man outside, sir. who says that he is very old
friend OF your fathers.
Busy Employer Tell him I'm sorry, but my
father is dead.-Life.
THEY SAY that the yellow fever never attacks a
cigarette smoker The fever probably believes in
far and honest competition and is perfectly
willing that the cigarette should have its share
Of the victims.-Sprinafeid Union.
Mr.. CHEsIEY-Quick, your decision, Louise!
ISIS de Leigh-Why do you hurry me so?
Mr.. Chesley-For two ieasons. Prof Barnard
says that comet is approaching the earth at
the rate of 100000 miles day, and-'er.
ahem'-I think near your mother coming, too
-JlGdJe.
BooDLER Gust released from penitentiary. to
ta.lorl-l want you to get me up first-class
salt of clothes.
Tailor dnnoceatly sir; something III
the way of d nice stripe;
BoOdler eyes hm darkly, and then orders
pronounced cLeCS.-TiHte.
CUSTOMER Ito saloon proprietor) Why do vow
charge 10 cents for the same brand OF whisky
when the place across the way gets 80 for?
Proprietor The place across the way. scr, has
Z picture of George Washington croSsiu' the
Delaware, and the beautiful young man who
assists a. the bar wears tar on his hair and
parts it in the mdde.-Epoch.
SHOE DEALER TO clerk)--William, why did you
insist upon selling to that old gentleman who
Just went out a pair OF small, soft shoes when
AZ NtiteA ipi id'l SO 'pNtiAA- byCtSs
'Will-eg-'
Il insist upon knowing
The fact is, call Oil bis daughter quite FRI
quently in tie evenings. Lincoln Journal
"JoHN." asked Mrs. Bently. suppose you
heard a noise down stairs and didn't know
whether it was the dog or the BURGER would
sou be So cruel rs to send me down to finu
JutT
mo, dear, said Mr.. Gently; Il have a better
way than tnat. I'd wait until next m rnng.
Ii the silver was gone, Id know it was burglars
ina if the silver was not gone, I'd know it was
,he dog. "-HaIpers Bazdr.
Il DON'T ask for much. na'am," said the
aded tourist, numbIy, but if you can give m"
)niy piece of uread-H
'Bread?" shr ,ed the lady, raising her hands
IL horror. 'Oniy piece of bread l can give
yOu SO ne saddlerOciI oysters, roast turkey witt
cranberry sauce, and glass of champa gne, an.
II that isn't good enough for you, sir, you can
20 on TO the next house. Do you taSe me for a
millionaire '-CnIcdgo Tribune.
WAS there ever time in your life, Mr.
lamnraround," asked Miss Lilibud in tones Of
oeAder sentiment, when all the world seemed
| dreary waste To you; when your heart was
hungry and starving; all the sweet springs of
your life were turned to bitterness AMI death
seemed the sweetest boon the gods could offer
| you; when all friends seemed ialSe:N
Indeed there was, said Slammaround, earn
cStly. II can remember it as though it WAS
Yesterday. was only Is years old at the time,
and didn't try to smoke another cigar Tor IL
years after. Brooklyn Eagle.
ANNoyING-Two young girls, guests in a
southern hotel, were startled one morning by
some quarrelsome words proceeding from one
Of the rooms they were passing on their way e.
breakfast. Though greatly shocked. they found
themselves stopping before the door whose
open trausept rendered distinct the sharp re-
| t5rts OF q man and his wife. A number OF peo-
| pie now began to pass through the halls.
Isn't it DREADFUL" said Miss A. to her com
panion.
YES murmured Miss B., adding 81 do wish
people would know enough to keep quiet"
II should think So" retorted the first speaker
indignantly, and not give their affairs to the
world"
"Oh, l don't mean that" said the other. 81
mean those people in the halls; they make so
| much noise | can't hear the others at all. -
HdTper's Bazaar.