St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-05-27

VWEE -EA- m great SOOu COIlC "
,\EssssSsEESsI the world. History
W. I'M is full of instances
<lA IN where the light of
EMNZA reforms has come so
~[<S ~ silently, so gradual
'W ~ ". vet so surely that
m | heIPil sleepy humanity has
not recognized the
dawn until the full light of morning
shone. Such great social and moral
revolution the use of the eX-
pletive Dad-bing is certainly
bringing about. Of all possible bene-
fits to be derived from the general adop-
ton of Volapuk none is of so much i'm
portance, none promises such early and
magnificent good to mankind as the
substitution of this innocuOus oath for
all forms of profanity. In attempting
pioneer essay upon the numberlesS
advantages likely to follow the uni
yersal use of Dad-bing as the ultimate
expression of violent emotion,
the writer fully appreciates the
vastneSs of the literary field entered
upon. No attempt can here be made to
cover this field. but the way can be
opened and some suggestions given
which may enable more gifted pens to
deal with the subject as its magnitude
deserves. Nor can the relative i'm
portance of the several features of the
topic be now determined. We shall
discuss ideas in the informal order in
which they present themselves.
First, then, the general use of Dad
blng in lieu OF other OathS, will I'M
doubleday be conducive to longevity.
Let US suppose Il case likely to occur in
the house Of any gentleman reader. As
you return from day of toll iii office,
warehouse OF store, your wife says
Sweetly: William, | wish you would
put up another hook i'll the coat closet;
there is a darling.' | assume that you
are not brute and will, as matter Of
course, at once skirmiSh around and
find hook, a hammer and some nails,
and, still OH the assumption that you
are human, you will not make
many strokes with the hammer before
you Will nearly pound of the end OF
thumb or finger. My well known posi-
TO write down what you think, nor could
your thoughts be printed if written.
There stands your wife; behind her. and
beaming over her shoulder, is her moth
er. Within plain hearing are your ten
derly-reared children, and the chill
dren of the rector are at play
with them. You can think till all the
world is blue before your eyes, but you
do not dare say a word. In fact the
more you think the tighter must you
keep your mouth shut. At such crisis
speech is like the explosion of dyna-
mite. 1t leaves scars which never heal.
a man can only save his fellow crea-
lures at cost OF bitter Self-Sacritice. The
effort at Self-repreSSion is q terrible
strain on his whole nature. 1t leaves
him moody and irritable. 1t is con-
duciye to Indigestion, pains in the
chest. blindness of vision, general
debility, paralysis, apOpleXy and death.
Every man or proper Self-reSpect can
look back upon crises when the fOrcible
repression of remarks he wanted to
make has nearly cost him ruptured
blood vessels. How much better had
he studied VOlapuk and adopted its all
comprehensive, all sufficient explosive.
In your own case, as above supposed,
you could have Dad-binged the hammer,
the nail, the hook, the closet, the
man who built the house and the real
estate agent who sold it to you. If your
thumb still ached and your wrath held
its heat, you might have gone on and
dad-binged creation generally, until
with temper fully restored, pressure on
the brain relieved, structure all gone
from around the heart, you could have
stepped smilingly from the closet to find
your wife overlooking with glee
and her mother laden with
mirth, sunk in the nearest chair.
1t is to be specially noted that while or
binary profanity has an unpleant effect
on the nearer, awakening sorrow in the
piOuS-minded and stirring the wrath of
the ungodly, no such evil consequences
follow the use of Dad-bing. Man was
for some wise purpose created without
clothes or natural safety valve for his
temper te psGod b Eafh is +Ri NECESSITY
perfect safety valve for passion.
AS no good argument can be brought
why man should not be clothed, neither
is there any reason why he should not
be Dad-binged. So undeniable are the
health-preserving tendencies of the
Dad-bing habit that am confident that
most of those INDUCING freely in the
Dad-bing now will, in years to come,
when they reach hale and hearty old
age, be hOnorably known as Dad-binged
old men.
THE ADOPTION OF DAD-BING
will wonderfully increase the descrip-
tive power of newspaper literature,
which is the everyday rabulum of
nine-tenthS of the civilized world. At
present the police reporter in the middle
of thrilling case i'll municipal court
will jOt down as part OF the evidence,
w lIneSS duueu IlaJ ueIenudnJ called
her - old busy body" Now,
this is painfully indefinite. The reader
is called on to fill the dashed places.
and even then, after being thus
as it were, forced to be profane,
cannot be sure that the right naughty
words have been hit upon. This may
leave grave reflections on the justice of
the court in the public mind. If the
defendant called witness a -
busy body the punishment inflicted by
the court was amply deserved, but if
the defendant merely used the words
-- busy body it would seem no
great strain on justice to let him 90
free. In truth - = means just such
wicked words as first came into the
mind of the reader, and no worse.
Dealing with English as she is spoken
the reporter has no recourse but to fall
back on "-. Much of. the most
eloquent and emphatic of every day
language cannot be printed, and utter
anceS hot from the heart, indignant pro-
VI