Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1888-09-12
HOW MIR. SwACKHAMNIER WON
HER
The Difficulty OF Wooing q Vassar
College Graduate Demonstrated.

"You don't know what love is. Mr..
Swackhammer, protested the beauti-
full girl, with a smile OF Incredulity on
her face; "the sentiment you entertain
for me is only passing fancy. When
it has had its brief day and you look at
it IN the cold light OF reason you Will
be surprised that you ever mistook so
palpable a delusion for the genuins
thing"
.'But hear me, Miss Clearinghouse" :"
exclaimed the young man calmly, yet
earnestly; ''am / not old enough to
know my own"
''lt is not question OF age, Mr..
Swsckhammer," interposed Mr.. Gar
linghouge, still smiling incredible usly,
''but or scientific demonstration. AS
you are probably aware, have devoted
myself for the last two or three years
to a severe course of scientific study
and have acquired the habit, perhaps
unconsciously, OF accepting nothing as
true that is not demonstrable by the in
exorable rules of mathematics or the
soundest process of logical induction.
Science has become with me the touch
stone OF all things asserted, claimed or
proposed, and"
'.But how dc you apply the rules of
science to matters OF the hearth" in
Quired the young man. "How can you
subtsct my love to a mathematical or
scientific demonstrationp"
'sIn this way, Mr.. Swackhammer.
The action of the passion or emotion OF
love upon the various sympathetic
ganglia of the human organism causes
certain well-establIshed and clearly de-
lined phenomena, When you speak to
me OF iove1 look for the appearance of
those phenomena. From a scientific
point OF view they are not satisfactory.
I The tremor IN your voice is not suf-
flciently pronounced. Your articula-
ton is not thick and husky, The color
in your face is hardly a shade paler
than its normal hue, and you have no
nervous movements in the hands. Do
you think a mere assertion can dis
prove the evidence"
''Alvira Clearinghouse" came i'm
petuousIy from the lips of the young
man as he rose to his feet, "there are
facts in mental as well as physical sci
ence that are not wholly beneath our
notice. Some men are gifted with a
marvellous faculty OF self-control, SO far
as external manifestations are con-
cerned. Beneath the apparently un-
HOfSQ tAIcIlOE ludl gOu nave ouuJcC-
ted to a scientific test there RACES a
volcano OF passion do you doubt itY
1 will demonstrate it to a mathema-
tical certainty. / foressw the skeptI-
cism with which you would receive my
avowal and came prepared. Listen TO
the beating of my hearth"
And with a quick movement he drew
from beneath his waistcoat the flexible
tube of a stethoscope and placed il
against her ear.
Count the pulsationsr' he con-
tinuei- They will run nearly 100 tC
the minute. Normal heart beat, sew
enty pulsations. Note the revelation
of deathless love conveyed by this res
pirometerl" And he produced another
flexible tube. "Respirations per min,
ute, twenty-eightI Twenty-eIght, AL.
vira-count them-twenty-eigh Nor.
NAL respirations per minute, from four.
teen to twenty in adults. Observe the
mathematical certainty OF tempestuous
passion demonstrated by my tempera-
tureI'' And, opening his tightly CLOSED
left hand, he showed her a small ther.
mometer. Temperature, Alvira, 1l2C
Normal temperature, about l0UOl Hay,
L proved my love?"
"Alpheus," murmured the lovely
girl, as she placed her head on hi:
shoulder, with her lips at an accessibl,
angle. you havel"