Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1888-11-16
PITH AND POINT.


A lady friend Ouakcress.
A deck hand Tho bridesmaid.
It's all up-With the balloonist.
A candid man-The confectioncr.
A lay figurc-A plaster cast of hen.
a ghost of show-A spiritualistc
scancc.
Banks of deposit The margins of
the Nile.
10 remove paint-Sit down on it be-
fore it is dry.
Thieves are bound TO their profession
by hooks of steal.
A tender attachment is often followed
by train of disaster.
Tho horses excuse for smashing the
buggy-'I was driven to it,"
n stuffed club-Any club rising from
the annual dinner. -DanseiIs Breeze.
A dentist ought to make an excellent
farmer. He has made n study of roots.
1t is the middlc-aged man whose in
crcasing girth tells hun what the waist
of time is.
When the rubber market declines, it
might be appropriately called gum
drop.-LJs.
The bridesmaid has gone out of style,
but the bride is Us popular as ever
Iftts,ury Chronicle.
When metre is out of order it is
probably troubled with the gas trick
fcvcr-ts'tsJug Chronicle.
Pulling weeds is not so unpleasant
work, particularly when they grow on
pretty little widows bonnet.
Boss Ito new dry goods clcrk): "Your
name sirl forget" Clerk: "NIr
Wurms." Boss: "Ah, go in tho tape
department. "-DetroH Free Press.
a Baltmorean has invented an auto
matte dish cover which oens without
any assistance at table. 1t is pro.
nounccd to be a wonderful dishcovery.
He hold her hand AMI her fingers pressed,
But he never spoke of love;
For lie was n clerk, and, at her request,
He was trying on her glove.
-SomcrciHe journal.
"What will you takc2" asked the
iovial barkeeper of buzzsaw he was
fooling with. "About three fingers of
your best" replied the buzzsaw, and it
did
In penal times the Roman Catholics in
Ireland used to have mass celebrated on
the hillsidcs and in the lonely cot. The
latter place was their mass cot Sit
ia3s.
The dude whose tailor pledged him
Sunday last and failed, now refers to
the trousers as brecches of promise.
| SDtings.
Small boy (reading the papeD- What
is a weather report, pa" Pa-''There
l. ,,1, al H.
might come under the head of weather
report"
Young Wife-"Before we were mar
red, George, you never smoked in my
presence" Young husband-"I know it,
my dear, and you never wore curl papers
in mine"
Miss Belfair-"You did not catch my
name. Mr.. Blunt; am Miss Belfair."
Mr.. Blunt-"What2 Not the beautiful
Miss Bclfair I've heard so much of7"-
Scri5ner's Monthly.
The fisherman should happy be
Though hungry, cold and wet,
For untold wealth is i'll the sea
| And profits all are net
philadelphia Dame (at tablc)-'.My
| gracious! You arc splitting that gravy
on the carpet" New Waitress Cheer
fully)-"1llcre plenty more in the
kitchen, mum."-Failadelphia Record.
SIS it not Singular said he as he
gazed at the mighty cataract of Niagara
that the seemingly insignificant guam
tity of moisture that arises from that
vast volume of water should be mist2"-.
SitSings.
If there is anything that makes q
thrifty man mad is to have checked
satchcl, worth, with contents, about So,
turn up just after he has put in a lost
baggage claim for $50. Darlington
Free Press
Teacher-"Jo Johnny, do you remember
the plovcrb / gave you yesterdays"
Johnny-''No'm." "Specch is silver and
what is itl" ~ dunno, num-" az
know" spoke up a little boy at the foot
of the class. every we'll, you may re-