The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1888-11-10
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Masculine breach of promise cases
wv never succeed until there are fe-
maVe juries.-BaIimore american.
rascible wife to husband: you
are match for me, sir" Husband
I"eat ly): '.f | am not, my dear, why
10 YOU always want to scratch mop
WaStik agtOn Critic.
-, -5ksides preventing consumption,
tne boiling of milk is important other
We 1t reduces the amount of water
that has been pumped into the milk
CAM .-LoutsviHe Cowrjer-Jourpal.
When you know all about a thing
II loses all interest. 1t is the imagina-
tlon playing upon a suspicion that gives
1t shose beautiful colors which gossip
dellghts in.-Saa Francisco Chronicle.
"A man will dislocate his arm trying
to hit baseball, and spend an entire
day in facilitating efforts to make a
home run-but he won't beat carpet.
Not much.-Mercham TraUeIer.
When foreign prince comes Of
age he generally receives many
presents of jewelry. This is as it should
be- for about the only thing that a
foreign prince ever does to distinguish
himself is coming of age. -Jeweler's
Weekly.
Il see," said Mr. Barkins, ''that
there are a million more women than
r'sss'ss7Si Germany Yes said Mr.
t7Sr&rty; "they do that to evade the
military requirements of the German
Government. ''-Harper'S Bazar.
"A white woman in Columbia, s. c.,
who was charged with her colored
husband with violating the law against
miscegenation, swore that she had
negro blood in her veins and secured q
disagreement of the jury.
A health journal has started the
question, ''What is the best position in
which to sleep?" and dozen or moro
willing voices are preparing to shout,
whats the matter with that of po-
liceman?" -PbjIalelpbja Ledgcr.
1t is good idea that the country
hotels have adopted of furnishing
their guests with both kerosene lamps
and candles. The kerosene lamps are
very useful in helping you to see the
light that the candles give.-SOmer-
vjIEs Journal.
"A late song is entitled Nobody
knows but mother" Generally speak
ing. nobody knows but mother what
kind of a temper daughter has, but
after the honeymoon is over, the
young husband begins to find out
something of what mother knew
Boston Courier.
She Tin great agitation) - 90,
George, hear papa at the front gate,
and he is apt to be impulsive when he
comes home late" He Creassuringly)
Calm your fears, dear. I'm in the
coal business, you know, and he has
owed the firm money for coal for over
nine months. ~ Y. Sun.
One of the great advantages Of the
electric light for indoor illumination
lies in the fact that it leaves the air
unaffected, whereas gas and other light
formed by combustion not only raises
! the teraperature, but depriEes the air
of it9 oxygen, increases the carbonic
acid and makes the air poisonous.
First n-"Remembe Jim Cur
ry, what's killed every man that said
he was no gentleman?" Second Texan
THE Curry what killed an actor fer
tryin' to protect a lady?" THAT the
one. l hear he's got into the peni.
Tertiary at last" "Well, well! Whose
boss did he steal? "-PhIladelphja Rec
ord.
1t was nearly midnight, aud she
was gazing dreamily into the fire. "A
penny for your thoughts, Miss Clara,
he said, airily. 81 was thinking, Mr..
Sampson" she replied, chow very
much annoyed papa was to-day oven
the amount of last months gas-bill. "
And then presently ne left without
giving her the penny.
--Jinks little olive branch made a
great cutlery when his mother attempted
to give him a sea- bath. Jinks became
provoked at the youngster, and at last
exclaimed Il don see why the obsti-
nate little fool is frightened at watern'
Whereupon Mrs. Jinks cast wither.
ing glance al her liege lords rudy
nose, and retorted: inherited, sup
pose. His father objected to water be.
fore him" Jinks failed to pursue the
colloquy further, and turned slowly
and refectively from the scene.-N 7.
Ledger.