davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1888-09-14
A GREAT INVENTOR.

He had a startling genius but somehow il
didn't emerge.
Always on the evolution of things that
wouldn't evolve;
Always vergins toward some climax, but hs
never reached the verge;
Always nearing the solution Of some theme
he could not solve.
And he found perpetual motion. but a COZ
wheel set awry
Burst his complex apparatus and he could
not got it fixed;
And he made life elixir-if you drank you'd
never die
But the druggist spoiled the compound when
the medicine was mixed. =
And he made a flying vessel that would navs
gate the air,
A gorgeous steamer of the heavens, grand
aerial boat
A matches paragon OF skill. a thing beyond
compare,
And the oaly trouble with 1.-THE could never
make it foat
And he found potent acid that would
change red dirt to gold;
But the tube from which he poured it had
some trouble with its squirt.
So the gold held in solution and would not let
90 its hold,
And the dirt in logged stubbOrnness it stu
continued dirt I
And he made great catholicon to cure al
disease,
A general panacea for every ache and pain.
But first he tried it on himself his stomach
ache to ease,
And it killed him very quickly-and he did
not try again
5 ". Foss ia Yankee Blade.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1888-09-14
"And shall like ANYTHING non Iik

"And shall like anything you like,
my precious old boy
Well, theu, what shall be have, dearf'
''Whatever you want, darling
"But want TO please you, lovey."
"And want TO please you, precious. ="
''You old darlingr'
"You blessed old precious"
''But what shall we haveF'
That's for you to say"
mo, for gOU."
but I'm 50 afraid III order something
you don't like"
IN like anything you like, darling
Truly, Percyl'
''Truly, my darling"
''Because I'd feel % badly I'd Just erg If
Ihad anything you didn'tlike. Do you like
roast beef -
ado YOU"
AZ asked you first, dearie"
" What if don't care for it,
"Then Wen Asse- have a pound of it
in the house"
"You little darling"
".But do you like i'll"
"Dc gouf "
go, Percy, you naughty old boy !
How am l ever to get what you like if
you go on like thisl And do want to
please you"
PLEASE yourself and you'll be sure to
please me-
''Then wen have the beefln
" If you say so, loyey."
''But doA't say so.
1T shall be just as my own little,
lovey-dovey, lifey wiley says"
"What if l say beef :"
"Then | shall say beef, too"
"Well, then, well have roast beef"
81 Ire roast beef. -
80 do l."
"oh, Pm SO glad"
"SoamI1
=" You old darlia7'"
- You precious ''-Dstroit FIRES Press.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1888-09-14

81 am going to stop bathing" said a
friend Of mine, of good habits. The
statement staggered me, for | knew he
did not belong 10 the great unwashed, -
nor was he in any way Tetrograding to-
ward that bathless class, the tramps He
proceeded to explain; "You see, my
wife's brother is young physician, and
my wife's father Is an old physician. My
own father reads medical works and
talks a great deal about them. A near
neighbor Of ours Is a rising young doc
tor, and through him a number OF medi-
cal men have visited rs, and we have
met the NJ. DIS also at his house. Now,
in such an atmosphere of wisdom you
would think me safe But | feel | am
not About everything do from the
time 1 get up until l retire, in the way
of eating, drinking washing, riding or
bathing is dangerous | say danger
GUS because that Is the term they, the
doctors, use. am most alarmed about
bathing. My father has found it in the
books that it Is dangerous to lathe while
warm. My wife's father says it Is dan
gerous to battle while cold or chilly.
Her brother asserts that only the strong
est persons sare battle on arising with
out first taking food. The same wise
young doctor says it IS dangerous and
facilitating to battle just before retir-
ing. They all agree that it is danger
Gus to jump into water Just after eating
heartily. Nothing has been said about
getting up in the middle Of the night
and taking light lunch and a bath,
nor about leaving usiness in The middle
of the afternoon and going to a bath
house for an hour, but as both these
times are very inconvenient for me to
indulge in ablutions, have decided on
the only alternative, not TO battle at
all. - Ciicago Journal
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1888-09-14

q
man, but he never entertained the
slightest feeling of love for her.
The scene in the orchard was but a
simple ruse gotten up 10y Robert and
Kathleen to excite my jealousy, little
dreaming Of the serious result.
kathleen made most unfortunate
match, ike most beautiful women, max
ing a poor selection from her many
suitors. Poor girl, what a dear, kind
letter she sent to US, telling how happy
she was TO hear we were reunited
.'Just to think of itln said Mrs.
Briggs. HE came back to her after the
other girl had given him the mitten.
wouldn't take him. Would your
We can afford to laugh at her idle
gossip, we are SO happy, Robert and I.
smile proudly to think that without
setting my cap" have captured the new
curate, after all.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1888-09-14
W0MAN'S W0lAD.
PLEASANT LITERATURE FOR
FEMININE READERS.


The typewriter girl is becoming one
Of the institutions Of every frst-class
hotel. in every hotel the placard informs
the arrival that he can have his letter
prepared on short notice at trihiug
cost. The way in which we are now
living at our hotels doesn't leave the
guest very much to complain of, pro
vidcd the cook does his duty. The DAYS
when te egraph instruments were put in
the hotels the landlords thought they
had reached the ultima thule OF enter
prise. Then came the telephone Now
the guest registers and there is little
else left for him to do. lie Is carried TO
his meals by the elevator. and after his
dinner, while lie smokes, he takes his
chair aud dictates 4 Letter to the Young
typewriter in the corner. - Cbioago
Iisies.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1888-09-14

4 iauttil -llng sou DO. dear.
II - tang y1u isavs unsons,
VIA Eirss F1u e tit Z hoartazhs
A. 90 ssit.Hs q he suh
~ teuisr word forgotten.
~ letter E1u did not zrite.
IL a1rsr Fol o. eti have sauf. dear.
Ara gclr hauailus ghosts tonight
~ rio1e you M "a have LIFTED
Gus 81 q t'r-fhars uHy.
Ne ill of hearlastoae e1.ansi
lql rere hlrrl-l 10 much 20 say;
a. IorluE touch Of to- hsnf. dear.
-ae gentle sad rinsaue tore.
l-zt SCI bad 81 tine uor thought FOR.
81 isl tfaaa'ss en11sl Of your oFn-
To iitis AIS q lani1sss,
~ e.slT car " miui.
laass clauess ~ D. au-cis
hA'aa elery ule may fad-
iaef aarzf iu uisit and s.ieuoe-
Aaea CALL r-1roachful sraitb-
q l-n hop Is falnf and tagging.
AID q llIsli has dropped % faith
frr lfe = al i1o short Gear
all sarr7a' is all Zoo ln.at
g. s1aer cur sIlF -aull-ss.oa
lHai izrries u1il CO.. l.te.
A. e. nar lte tang yoa Do. dear,
10 lie tang sou ieaFe uniaue.
q a.rr -sr.4a ...ll 49,. ] ..f If l.....-f...i.,
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1888-09-14
Fashion Notes.

Dainty tea gowns are made of Hen
rietta III light shades, with surah fronts.
White cloth jackets braided with me-
tallie cords are III high favor for dlessy
wear.
\ pretty. graceful little garment is in
muslin ichu, and has a frilI Of lace as an
edge.
Pretty bonnet pins are in the form of a
spray of flowers and leaves entwined
with garnets.
Beefeater hats may be made from the
many varieties of horse hair braids that
come for that purpose.
The newest India silks have the mar
rowest possible vine of embroidery along
their trimming selvage.
A single spray Of flowers IS seen upon
some of the newest lace parasols, as il
blown there by the wind.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1888-09-14
Tomatoes

Tomatoes are healthful vegetable,
says Mrs. Parker in the Cogrier .Joersai,
acceptable to almost every one, and can
be prepared in such a variety Of ways
that they may be placed on the table
/ throughout the season without the APP
/ pearance Of sameness, which might cause
[ the appetite to sire of them. The follow
ing recipes are all excellent:
DRIED TOMATOES. - Select large,
smooth tomatoes; peel and cut in thin
slices; set on the ice or in a cold place
/ for an hour or two; season with pepper,
l salt and little oil. Serve with vine
gar.
BRoMED tomatoes. Peel large toma-
toes and cut them in two; butter the
bars Of the grid-iron. and lay the toma-
I toes on; broil over a clear fire until done
aud we'll Drowned, season with pepper,
salt, bits of butter and sugar; serve very
hot
BOILED tomatoes. a dozen
tomatoes as near the same size as posi-
bic, wipe and put them on to cook in
salt boiling water, when done they will
be soft. Remove from water. place in n
warm dish, and send to the table for
each person to skin and season to wish.
CURRIED ToMAToEs.-Wash one cup
of rice. To one quart of stewed toma
toes add a tablespoonful of curry
powder. Put layer of tomatoes in the
bottom of baking dish, then a layer of
rice, and a layer OF tomatoes, sprinkle
the top with bread crumbs, put over
few bits Of butter, and bake in moder-
ate oven.
SrEwED ToMAToEs.-Pou boiling
water over the tomatoes and remove
the skin; cut them in small pieces. stew
in a porcelain kettle for half an hour,
then add 10 every quart of tomatoes a
tablespoonful of butter, tablespoonful
of sugar, with a little salt and pepper,
and a teacup of grated bread crumbs.
Stew fifteen or twenty minutes longer.
FRIED ToNAToEs.-Cu smooth. solid
tomatoes into slices, dry each slice and
dust with salt and pepper Beat an egg
until very light, add teaspOonful OF
boiling water Dip each slice first in
the egg, then in the bread crumbs. Put
lard in the frying pan, set on the fire,
when very hot drop in the slices OF toma-
toes, fry brown aud turn, take up care
fully and serve hot.
STUFFED ToMAToEs.-Take a dozen
large tomatoes, cut of the ends, take out
the seed. sprinkle the inside with salt
and pepper. Have ready pound of cold
lean meat, half pound Of cold chicken,
a slice Of cold ham, all minced, to which
add the tomato juice, and fry brown with
"A minced OniOn in a LITTLE buftar ATiy- IN
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1888-09-14
WEDDING ROBES TO HIRE.

Entering the hallway he mounted a
fight Of stairs and opened n large door
upon the glass in which were signs indi-
eating that modist held forth inside.
A pretty little French girl greeted the
reporter with n bewitching smile, and
with iust the slightest accent asked his
business. pom being told that the
visitor desired TO see the proprir.or, she
hastened away and in few moments a
rall, good-looking Frenchmau made his
appearance
"Nhat can 1 do for Monsieurl' he
asked, smiling and rubbing his hands,
81 would like to see some wedding
robes, " replied the reporter.
Thinking OF getting married, ehl"
With an eye TO business the dress
maker threw open the doors of several
large wardrobes and the reporter gazed
in silent admiration upon number Of
magnificent wedding gowns.
"What do YOU charge for these
dresses"
well, they all bring different prices.
This one" and the modist lifted out a
beautiful garment OF white satin
trimmed with lace, is very beautiful
II cost S20O, but all | charge for the use
of it is $50 You see, l am content with
small profits This dress | have realized
$50 on now, but it will stand six or
seven more ceremonies. Of course |
have cheaper gowns, but they are not
much required, because when one gets
married one may as well get married in
style when it costs so little
Who are the people that patronize
youi"
People whom You would least ex-
pect. Most of my customers in wedding
gowns have been persons who could well
have afforded to buy their dresses OFT
right. 1t is seldom that lady wears
her wedding dress more than once and
it is, so far as utility is concerned, a
dead loss after the ceremony. ] have
about thirty dresses out now and bust
ness is better than 1 have ever known it
to be"
Just then a handsome turnout stopped
at the door and very handsome Young
woman, accompanied by a more matron-
ly looking person, alighted. They
knocked timidly at the glass door, and
as the reporter was leaving the enter
prising dressmaker was showing them
the same dress which he so much ad-
mired and which seemed TO suit their
fancy also.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1888-09-14

First Tramp--'Well. how much did
We get out of the felly"
Second Tramp-'.Faix, only enough
for mesilf."
First Tramp-"And is this de way yer
stand in wild me- Mickeyln
Second Tramp-"Sure, all Oh got was
a kick. Ye can take yer share Of that,
if We want it. Life.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1888-09-14
HOUSEHOLD MATTERS.
ChiIdren,s sIeep1ng Apartmen

Children's Sleeping Apartments
The importance Of pure AIR IN the
rooms allotted to children is strongly
urged upon parents, and no language can
be too emphatic, for in ill-ventilated
apartments the little ones languish, be-
come pale, feeble and sickly. Their con
situations are so undermined, poisoned by
stagnant and impure air, perfect develop
ment is absolutely impossible, and the
diseases common to childhood find them
ready victims, death occurring, not be-
cause those diseases are in themselves so
fatal but because the children attacked
have not the strength to rally and throw
them of. Perfect ventilation and strict
cleanliness go hand in hand. Without
the latter, it is utterly impossible to keep
the air OF room pure.-BosioR Journal
Of Health.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1888-09-14
The Girafres of the Bird Kingdom.

-Four very queer yet beautiful birds
have been paving an enforced visit to
Mr.. onald Burns, in Roosevelt street,
saws the New Y ork Sun. These birds
are natives Of rhe fens and morasses Of
Cuba. They are the girafies Of the bird
kingdom. The nccks of these home
sick visitors resemble sections of garden
hose painted red Their legs look like
Couey sand 5-cent canes, and are
hinged in he middle The complexion
of the birds is dirty red. save the strong
beak which is black The necks have
q most marvellous capacity for stretch
ing and they wind around aud twist
sinuously this way and that in snake
like motion. They enjoy the seciu-ion
of an upper room, in one corner Of when
they are enclosed los four dUgoods
boxes. The Sims Of these lelfher-eoV-
cred Cubans are very tender ana arg
barked when they come in coatac' WIN
the boxes MIR Burns eed- re D'Ius on
rice and bread crumbs. lie IhinAs lne
birds would prefer little fish ana tehuet
grasses. but there doesn't bappen 10 3e
any Of these succulents IN Roosevelt
street. They are valued st - spieee-
Mr.. Burns Saws his visitors are pamip'
goes.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1888-09-14

The world famous Endicott pear tree,
planted by Governor John Endicott on
the ancient orchard farm at Danvers New
Mills in 1870 er 1858, Is dead. Tradi-
ton has it that 1880 was the date when
the venerable tree was planted, but there
is also evidence that Governor Endicott
did not break up the ground for his
orchard until 1888. There is no doubt,
however, of the great antiquity of tine
pear tree, and that it was from $50 to
2G0 years old when its last vital spark
went out The tree stood on the north
bank of the river. about half way between
the Mills and the railroad track. 1t fs6
but one rival-an ancient pear tree
Truro, on the sands Of Cape Coz, planted
prior to l644-Bost0H journal.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1888-09-14
PITn AND POINT.


A country seat-The top fence rail.
A patient nan-One in a doctors Office.
A doctor must understand all tongues.
When thin man visits you, lodge him
in the spare room, of course.
\ sick burglar is very 10th to call 1
doctor for fear that he may give him up.
"Mine, miner, minusf" This is the
upshot Of speculations in mining stock.
The exact quantity of the lions share
is not stated, but it Is all the lion can
get.
When a woman is trying to write
letter on hall sheet of paper much may
be said ON both sides.-Na,s Harsa Ns,..
Talking is cheap, they say:
That's not 50 clear
Just hire a lawyer
And you'll find it dear
JUDY -
A correspondent wants to know Tia
difference between a dog watch and /.
watchdog. Well, not much they sre
both kept on the bark.-Ths OcorH.
This world Is but fleeing show,
And no wise man regrets it.
For man wants little here below,
And generally he gets it.
-SonisrriHe Journal
Ingenious thing, this English Ian.
guage. When you hear a citizen say:
"Uh, he's good man, " you can't tel
whether he is talking of pugilist Or Of
a deacon
A criminal lately executed in England
protested his innocence on the scatfold,
and his last words were that he was
good ard faithful subject OF the Queen.
The subject then dropped.-SytiHy,.
Nothing is ever lost Walt Whitman sings;
But poets have peculiar views of things:
Few viii agree with him whoye had i'll luck,
When they the frisky tiger tried to buck.
Boston Courier.
Brown made bet with Wagerly that
he could cause nine out of every ten
men who passed a certain building that
day to touch the structure. Wagerly
accepted the bet. Brown simply hung
out the sign ''Paint. "-JHdge.
Alover called upon Miss,
And thought She looked bewitching,
He longed so much her lips to kiss
lie chased her round the kitchen
But fell against the red hot stove
As soon as he had kissed her,
And though he thought the kiss was bliss,
de found the burn a blister.
-SJtihg<
Overtaxing his brain. Old Mrs. Bently
-" Did you hear, Josiah, that the young
student who has been boardin' at the
Hendrickses' is very sick7" Old Mrs.
Bently-" Yes, heard so; what's the
trouble with himin Old Mrs. Bently-
"Studyin' too hard l s'pose. The doc
tor says he's got information Of the
brain. Tho Epoet.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1888-09-14
No HONG for the Fntnre.

at grieves me 10 look back over 8
wasted life, =" said comparatively young
doctor to a Chicago girl. TO think
that with fame and fortune in my reach
l have turned from them in order to pur-
sue humble career
''But is not too late to begin anew"
she suggested.
"Alas; I realize too forcibly that it
is"
''can you not make one great, final
efTort.'
"No. I am too old to learn to play
baseball"
Yes" she said softly. 1t is very,
very sad. "-Nsrc6aat Tr1leler.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1888-09-14
Utilizing a Pinch of This and III

l promised you a nice receipt, says
Madge in London Truth, and here it is
Take pound of spinach and wash it
thoroughly in three or four waters, pick
ing of any faded leves, but not cutting
them. The knife should only be used
at the root. Boil the spinach in little
water tillit becomes quite tender. Press
all the water away from it, and then
chop the leaves very fine. Now chop an
onion very small, fry it in beef dripping
till quite done, and then add it to the
spinach, stirring them together with q
tablespoonful of -four, little pepper
and a soupcon Of sugar. Take either a
small stewpan or a frying pan. Put in
it tablespoonful Of butter, and then
put in the spinach, stirring well until it
is quite hot. Set it aside in warm
place, where it cannot burn (which it
will do on the smallest pretextl, and set
to work to make a savory omelet. When
completed put in the middle of hot
dish, surround it with the spinach and
garnish with croutons. This makes a
nice little entree, and an extremely in
expensive on
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1888-09-14

They were riding togetherin the moon
light, and he was trying hard to think
of something pleasant to say. All of a
sudden she gave a slight SILVER.
"Are you cold, Miss Hattief' he
asked, anxiously. Il viii put my coat
around you if you like
''Well, yes" said she, shyly, with an
other little shiver; ~ am a little cold.
confess; but you needn't put your coat
around me. One Of your sleeves will
do. n-!S9merriU Journal
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1888-09-14

"What have you been doing lately"
asked a travelling man Of a former asso-
ciate in the same business whom he met
in Pennsylvania village.
i been having pretty hard luck"
sin what way
''You see my uncle died and left me a
farm out here in the mountains aud
gave up travelling in order to come out
here and run it."
"Dcn't you like it"
"No, l can't say do. can stand a
good deal but l do draw the line at
farming where the hills areso dog-goned
steep that the cattle have to stand on
their hind legs TO nibble the grass of
them.-Herciqnt TraUeler.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1888-09-14

He with a bunch of wild flowers in
his hands)-"Ah, my dear Miss Sereand-
yellow, what kind of posies Will you
choosel
She in perfect twitter)-"Oh, tie,
he; tie, he; l will choose pro- posies. "
Mr.. Smith sinks into the earth. - VASE
iagtoH Critic.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1888-09-14

tlzzs-s h-l.s = IrEzia
uer s1=s1 = ass Fa-E rra=uty fIou
- teF les 80 aaslts r. tse ~
80 a. F-i l.-r - seat Eat sust
$3.50 - sarrtg RI - t1flis - pre-
AS 49, tze s1ias ls1re sais ai 8
s 49, 49, drrr zpEzrg 81 -.
- -s-1e zraI1.l.|e eFel A. fi.-f r.riae.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1888-09-14
More Than He Courd Stand.

Grocer-''How IS it, Mr.. Swartman,
that you are SO particular to pay cash
uow-a-daysl You used to run a weekly
bill"
Customer-'I know did, and you
WOULD always give me a cigar when |
squared up Saturday night.
GrOcer-''Yes.n
Well, It was smoking that
cigar that impelled me to pay cash. -
Neo Yurk Sun.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1888-09-14
Getting it Down Fine.

Johnnie was under a cloud. He had
been given six lines to learn before
lunch-time, with the proviso, no lines,
no lunch.
The lunch-bell rang and his mother
called Johnnie, who knew just one
third of his lesson.
no lunch for you, my son, to-day ~
was the maternal decision.
''Please, mamma" pleaded Johnnie,
"can't l have two lines worthP-Juige.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1888-09-14
Not Easily Embarrassed.

"Have you kept track of young
Balcony latelyl At the rate he is going
on he'll soon be seriously embarrassed.
"Embarrassedl Nonsensel you don't
know the man He asked me for the
loan of hundred this morning without
the quiver Of az eyelid. life.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1888-09-14

They had Just returned from their
wedding tour ard were to have their
first dinner in their own home.
"Well, Percy, dear" she said sweetly
after breakfast, what shall we have for
dinnerl"
"Oh, anything you like"
mo, dear; anything you like"
But | shall like anything you like, my
little rosebud
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1888-09-14

'Can you give me a little breakfast,
ma'amn pleaded the tramp; "Fm hungry
and cold. l slept outdoors last night
and the rain came down in sheets
''You should have got in between the
sheets, said the woman kindly, as she
so the gate.-Nso York Sun.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1888-09-14
He Liked Cold Roast Beet:

Young Housekeeper TO- butcher)-
"Haye you roast beefF'
Butcher-"l ma'am."
''Do you keep it on the icei'
ooh, yes, ma'am."
"Theu you may send me some. My
husband told me only this morning that
he is very fond Of cold roast beet. -
SiftiagS.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1888-09-14
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
At the Gate-A sympathetic Heart
AT the Picnic-More than
He Could Stand
Etc, Etc.

The lights were low, the hour was late,
The popping time had come;
And, gazing idly at the CRATE,
Her love sat chewing gum
She asked him II he'd risk-dear girl
With her the final step;
He gave his gum a listless whirl
And yawned and answered yep
oil City Blizzard.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1888-09-14
Married in Style for Thirty Dollars.

While vending his way through that
greatest of all business thoroughfares,
the Bowery, the other day, a New York
Sun mans attention was attracted by a
placard over the door Of dressmakinr
establishment, which read: