New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-06-10
4 DISCOURAGED LANDLORD.
EXPERIENCES WITH SUMNER BoARDERs

IA
He was a long, somewhat angular man, with only
one suspender and that fastened with a horseshoe
nail, and was wearing pair Of boots, both OF when
were intended for the right foot lie sat on tho
Battery and looked off across tho wild. salt br1ue
toward tho cast Of Governors Island and appeared
sad.
al come down. he said in the strictest confidence
no waved away a bootblack with lofty scorn, 10
look up a few summer boarders; some of 'em had
last summer but they don't pear to be overly anxious
nall and was wearing pair OF boots both OF which
to get any moro good country board an on the whole
1 guess don't want 'em to go nohow. Mebby III
yank the wing OF my house round back bout twenty
feet beyond the well and make constable OF III
anyhow an not take any moro summer boarders'
Doesn't It seem to pays asked encouragingly.
"It has its discouragn' feat'ers,' he REPLIED rs he
extracted largo fragment of dark plug tobacco from
his pocket "Somehow l had bad luck with my
boarers last summer. 1t peared 'sf the haft OF em
was goIn to die most Of the time, but by hookin up
the colts an rinnln 'em to town after the doctor
bout four times day l managed to pull 'em all
through after fashion.
"First off. most Of 'em kinder took sick all of a
sudden like sif something the matter o. the grub
/ figured 1t out that It the green vegetables. L
Judged they was good vegetables to start with, but
the tin they in sorter pizened em somehow
/ don't think they'd "a been so sick II they hadn't
made such tarnal hogs of themselves. Some OF em
pretty near slowed away a whole can o. 'sparagus
an o. course II there any pzen in the tin they
was bound to get IT,
Then long thin young Teller got into the garden
an made hssef sick eatln' green watermelon L
didn't care so much bout his bein' little sick but
| hated to lose the melons, havn' planned to sell EN-
get little money for tcrbacker an things needed
Then one of tho HOSES kicked another fellar an hurt
his leg-the hoss's leg mean-the fcller was all right
after couple o. weeks or The boss hit his leg
agin stone wall an hurt It somehow so couldn't
use him for several days. Then l got new kind Of
condensed milk for 'em an blamed If that want
pizened somehow too an made 'em all sick agin.
"An all this time they complanin' bout the
muskeeters an maxim tired. An one o the
boys shot hisself in the foot with my gun an after
ward left 1t out all night an let 1t get rusty. Then
they all took turns havin' the malary they called it.
though 1 couldn't sees It done much too 'em cept
give 'em better appetite. The water wouldn't
moron get nicely settled in the well for another
one o. the young uns would fall In an rifle 1t all
up ag'in When some of the want hoppln
the front yard screamin' themselves sick bout
a snake they'd go down an try to walk log an fall
in the creek an get wet an catch cold an make
themselves sick that way I'd have to go after the
doctor ag'in
"An' long in July the lightnn' upn' struck the
only good healthy boarder had. 1t twisted of the
best appetree there in the orchard, but it took
the feler's appetite away for a month an,
" Then another man fooled round with the dog TIL
IT bit him, an had to after the doctor twice for
him. AM bout the same time butter went up ten
cents a pound so l couldn't ford more O. that,
an then had to set every meal an listen to 'em
kckin bout the merlasses, an tryin' to say funny
things bout 1t, though l could see they didn't feel
overly funny
So It KEEP agoiP till fall. One of the boys got
his foot caught in the mOwn' machine an busted
the pItman-rod square off. Pretty soon they all
seemed to sorter sick all over like an l got the
doctor agin an he said they all kinder down
physercay an seemed 10 be gettn graderly weaker.
am he guessed bout the only thing that would
'em to pack 'em up an get 'em back home.
He limited / better sorter hurry bout 1t or they
might got too weak to move, so l rushed 'em right
Off That discouraged me some talin summer
boarlers. Still | didn't know but I'd try It once
more, but there don't seem to any o. these that want
to board this summer for some reason an | guess
It won't pay to look up no Others They pear to be
unreasonable critters ANYHOW. GOOdby.o