Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-08-04
HUNIOR.!

PAYING teller Have you anything to
identify yourself? Farmer (who wants
draft cashed) -Well-er-no. o. yes;
just hold on. I've got my photograph
in my valise. SUti1egs.
MAGNErIsr-Yes, waiter, am mag
netist. Would you like to see me tip
the table? Waiter-No, sab; but if it's
all de same, to you, sab, Yer might tip
de waiter, sah.-BoStOn Budget.
KELLY, the $4,000 baseball player
of the Boston Club, has Joined a negro
minstrel, troupe. Anyone who has heard
Kelly talk will be glad that he is to be
"corked up."-Yonhers Statesman.
A BURLINGTON teacher told one of his
boys that the next time he wrote COM
position there must be some point to it.
The subject of his next disquisition was
Needles. "--B,nlington P,'ee Press.
DE o'ny offence tween de man dat
stahts out toe refawn de VOL an tie man
dat mistakes tailfoad track for foot
path am dis-de coronah doan' hab toe
hunt fo' de fo1nah's nains.-Judge.
PAPERS IN Massachusetts, have long
accounts of the burial of captain of
the Salvation army. No other Sal
walton army captain was ever known to
de, but this one was woman.-Jttdge.
WIFE, am sure, John, that burg
lars attempted to enter the house last
night, Husband-You don't say so
What do you s'pose frightened them off?
Wife, think it must have been your
snoring.
Boss MIbKDBAtfH-Ho on, boy!
Don't pitt no water in dem cans to-day.
Fill 'em up wild snow. OATS de same
color as de milk; an we must be jes as
homes as we kin. whenever We git de
chance,
You cannot smell when You have
cold in your head, but You can always
wear eyeglasses on yout nose. Conse
quentlv, noses must be intended to sup
port eyeglasses Boston papers please
copy.-Puck,
The Supreme Court of Pennsylvania
has desided that mule is not vicious
animal. The honorable Judges may be
learned in the law, but their knowledge
of mules is open to suspicion.
6tag Chronicle.
WHAT'S this they say about Pick
ihsf They say he is sufferer from
kleptomania. Did you hear anything of
that kind?" Not exactly; have been
given to understand that the shopkeep-
ers are tie sufferers. "-Boston Tram
script
BISHOP dining with family)--So
you wouldn't like to be bishop, Robby
when you grow up? Robby-I'd like to
well enough, but, as everybody says I
take after mas side of the family, 1
don't s'pose III ever be fat enough for
bishop.--Ne,u York san.
SHE-And now that we are engaged,
what is the first thing L can do to show
my love for you, Henry2 He-You can
take part in our amateur theatricals.
She-~No, Henry; that would be bad
form. Ladies in good society do not go
on the stage till after they are married.
Puck.
"NTy family is very ancient" remarked
an English tourist in Ohio. ut dates
back to the crusades. $50 does mine,"
replied the Buckeye. "My mother was
crusader herself. And what q noble
stand they made against the liquor
traffic, too" cav" said the English
man, considerably mystitied. Pitts
b1rg Chronicle.
A BosToN lady, few days ago, was
informed by her servant that box of
flowers had arrived. The lady, being
busy at the time, told the servant to
sprinkle the flowers and lay them away
till she could have time to look after
them. A few hours later the madam
happened to think of the flowers, and
upon opening the box, almost tainted.
The flowers were artificial and were
fastened to the top of brand-new
spring bonnet. Both bonnet and posies
We're ruined, and for while there was
great wailing and crashing of teeth in
that oUsehold.-Peck'S Sun.