The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1888-07-06
hiscellanrnus.
MR.. AND MRS. BOWSER.

NlNO tNlIhO' WV OEh'
had mentioned in casual way that we
needed some dishes, new carpet, and some
table linen, and that must 90 down town
and buy them, when Mr.. Bowser came home
at two O'Clock one afternoon, and said:
"Well, are you rcady?'
For what?"
why to 90 down and buy those things"
but didn't know you wanted to go. In.
deed wish you wouldn't"
ooh, you do! Are you ashamed to be seen
with me on the street,"
You know Pm not. I'm afraid YOU
you--"
"WelI, WHAT"
you will jaw folks and get into fuss"
Mrs Bowser, are you going soft in the
head? Jaw folks. Get into quarrel!
Humph Are you coming?"
We first visited the carpet store had
not yet made up my mind whether to buy
brussels or velvet, nor whether to get light
or dark coOrs | expected to take chair
and have the clerk roll down about fifty
pieces of each kind, and to be all OF two hours
making up my mind. One of the clerks ran
to place chairs for us. A second arranged
the window curtains, and third inquired of
Mr.. Bowser
Did you wish to look at some carpets :"
Did come up here to buy OYSTERS" de-
manded Mr.. Bowser.
"Ah-um Light or dark colors ?"
Light"
but the dark coIors are all the style now
you know"
II don't know anything ofthe sort! There
are plenty of white horses and houses
white shirts and hats and don't know why
light carpets shouldn't he fashionable. Roll
down that piece"
eyes sir, but you will not like t. This
dark pattern is what Mrs. Gov Smith select
cd for her front bedroom"
Yes. Well, may get that for my horse
barn later on. Send up n man to measure
the room, and give me that light pattern,
"Why, Mr.. Bowscr " | said. you have
not selected already"
Certainly"
But we've"
Five minutes is enough for any ONE to
select n carpet, Mrs. BOwscr. We want body
brussels and light ground. That is all there
is to it. We will now go over and buy the
table linen"
"But can't have time to look around ?"
Cline What do you want of time? You
want three linen table cloths and two dozen
napkins. We've got the money to pay for
them. What more is desired?'
"But it's so sudden"
so are earthquakes. Well 60 in here"
We entered dry goods store and sat down
to the linen counter. A young man came
forward to wait on us, and after being told
what was wanted, he quericd;
$50 you want real linen. Well here is
something that | can recommend"
as that linen?'
Eyes, sir"
ais liz" asked Mr.. Bowser, as he turned
to me-
| didn't think it was, but told Mr.. Bow
ser to let it go. 1t was the custom in all dry
goods stores to lie about such things, and no
one thought about raising Il row.
"Madam" said Mr. Bowser, rs he took the
linen cloth over to a mothcrly old lady, sis
this all linen ?"
mo sir; its half co,tonw she replied,
afer an inspection.
"Whercs the proprietor of this store ?" lie
demanded of the clerk.
I'm call him in, sir"
The proprietor came up.
as that linen" asked Mr.. Bowser.
at passes for linen, sir"
"If you put cows horns and tail on
horse he'd pass for cow wouldn't he? Sir,
this looks to me like petty swiudle, and
one you ought to be ashamed Of"
The proprietor began to blow up the clerk,
and the clerk said he'd resign, and as we got
Out doors penned Mr.. Bowser into u door
way, and said
"lA never, never dare enter that store
again"
Don't want you to. The man is liar
and the clerk lied by his instructions. We
will try another"
The next store was crowded and as we
reached the linen counter it was to find every
stool occupied. Itrcd to get Mr.. Bowser out
anticipating trouble, but unfortunately at
that moment one lady observed to another:
Dear me, but this is the third afternoon
I've come down town to buy q table cloth
and haven't got suited yet"
"And | want four crash towels, and I've
| been all over town twice"
Here yolw snapped Mr.. Bowser to the
clerk "are you busy?"
waiting on these ladies, sir"
"Have they bought anything?"
mo SIR"
"Are they going TOP"
IL don't know"
"Well, I've no time to fool away. We
want three linen table cloths and two dozen
napkins"
The ladies arose in great Indignation. Each
of them gave me look that pierced me to
the heart, and each one gave Mr. BOwser
look which ought to have shortened him two
feet In seven minutes we had found what
we wanted, paid the bill and were ready to
go Tie CLERK acted bit sulky; and Mr..
Bowscr was getting ready to give him blast
when | appealed to him to hold his peace. ]
told him that it was the custom for several
thousand ladies to come down town every
afternoon and shop, ard that shopping con
sisted of promenading up and down to show
their suits off to lot of well dressed loafers,
and entering the stores and taking an hour
and a-half to buy II sixpence worth Of lace or
ribbon. The clerk melted u little ut the same
! moment, and succeeded in getting Mr.. Bow
ser out without another eruption.
Now for the dishes, he said as we got out,
and we went to crockery store.
My heart sank as | saw the place crowd
ed with ladies. We halted beside one who
was saying to the clerk:
"And SO that tooth-pick holder is six
cents?"
"Only six, madam"
"IIow very cute"
"Yes, it is"
"And it is imported?'
ut is"
"How very, very charming! This is the
same one saw yesterday, is it"'
ooh, certainly"
! "Dear me, but wish could make up my