The Evening post. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1888-1889, 1888-12-18

When Expected to lie Otherwise.
A writer in the New York Herald
thinks that it's one of the pleasantest Of
surprises TO go home and find your wife
in good spirits when you expected her
to be otherwise, That was my expert
ence the other night, he says.
She certainly had good cause to be
cross. We had been cursed with an in
competent and insolent cook. We stood
It'll the incompetence and she the in
solence--as long as possible, or rather
until another cook had been engaged,
and the day before, taking advantage Of
a fragrant piece of 'back talk" the cook
had been discharged on the spot.
That was bad enough, to be sure, and
quite sufficient to put any housekeeper
in bad temper; but to make it worse
the new cook that had been engaged
didn't show up. When left the house.
or rather the fiat, that morning Mollie
was In an irreconciliable state Of despair.
Life had lost its charm.
So when on my return in the evening
not only found her good -natured but
beamingly joyous, ] promptly caught the
infection and felt as though ] had Struck
a winner" myself.
"What is It, Mollie?" l asked. HAS
the new cook come?'
mo, she hasn't; the mean old thing"
"What then p
ooh, I've got the best joke to tell you.
You'll say it's the funniest thing you
ever heard"
GO ahead and tell it, can stand
pretty funny jokes"
"Well, come in to dinner first; it's ali
ready. You'll laugh when / tell you.
You see I've put bottle of that new
wine on the fable tonight. You can't
guess where got 1t"
On the table was long, slim bottle of
sauterne, one of a case OF very fine wine
that friend had sent me short time
before, and that priced highly.
"No, don't know, unless you got it
out of the box
~ didn't. / got it out of Susan's
bag" (Susan was the name of the
wicked cook who had gomez
You see, this morning | took her bag
out in the hall to be all ready for the ex-
pressman when he came. When 1 put
it down something in it made suspi-
cious sound. / just felt to see what it
was, and inside was bottle shaped ex-
actly like those wine bottles. counted
them and found there was one missing.
Well, l Just wasn't going to let her carry
that wine off right under my face and
eyes, and so L"
Took it out But how did you I'M
lock the bag?"
II didn't unlock it. At one end the
seam had been ripped and sewed up
again overland. shipped it open with
the scissors and pulled this bottle of wine
out. And then what do you think !
did,"
put it on the table"
Eyes, but did something else, too.
took an empty bottle, filled it with water
corked it up and put the tin-foil cap over
it that / had carefully cut off another
bottle. Then wrapped it up in the
paper, showed it in the bag and sewed
up the seam Just as 1t was before. Now
isn't that pretty good Joke? What dc
you suppose she will think when sh,
drinks it?"
q Perhaps that it has been cursed be
lscause she stole it,
'I'd Just like to see her face when she
tastes til Won't it be fun? She won
know the difference till then, 1 fixed |
| SO carefully. She'll think it's been be
witched. sure. WE'LL l don't care; Il
serves her right, the saucy thing"
1t did seem like pretty good way of
getting square with Susan. | felt quit,
proud of Mollie's achievement, for l Sc
great store by that sauterene, and it was
with a good deal of satisfaction that ]
poured out glass for each.
slipped il.
And | came very near swearing big
fat, healthy oath. Something was wrong
either with my palate or the wine.
said nothing, but slipped again, and thei
sat my glass down for good Outside
was serenity and smiles; inside was
seething volume of wrath.
But bided my time until Mollie tool
a drink of her wine. She looked at /
with queer expression, held it up ant
shifted it, smacked her lips and thel
took another long, slow drink.
When she put her glass down her fac
had grown suddenly red and there wa
anything but joyous look In her eyes.
els there anything the matter with tn,
wine. dear2" l asked.
"You know there is. What do you tn
to be so smart and sarcastic forY Yol
have known all about 1t for five minute
and just sat there without saying wor,
and let me find out for myself"
\ ''Find out what?'
THAT put back the wrong bottle"
And now for three days the joyousnes
that the awfully funny joke at first occs
stoned has not even showed its head i
our household Somehow Mollie seem
to think | was an accessory and partl
responsible for turning the Joke" into
boomerang.