The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-04-28
WHY BROWN WAS JiLrED.
MockinR Bird.

Mocking Bird.
 The other day Miss Jones spent the afternoon with her friend and former schoolmate, Mrs. Smith, who has been married several years and has beauti- full boy.
 "1 heard the other day that you were engaged to MT. Brown. Is there any truth in it?" asked Mrs. Smith of her friend, who was holding the baby.
 q am not engaged to MT. Brown"
 "But ain't you going to be? He is such nice, steady young man."
 "That depends upon circumstances. One thing is sure, if he expects me to take advantages of my leap year privi- leges he will wait good long while" i" replied Miss Jones.
 "But would you accept him if he were to propose?" queried Mrs. Smith.
 "I am not quite sure that would. Men are 80 unreliable"
 "Don't you love him?" asked Mrs. l Smith. ~s ts~~1.- @
 70, he is very nice gentleman, but there are so many unhappy marriages that don't think care to take any risks"
 "You should get married by all means. used to think and talk just like you, but now that I am married am twice as happy as was. have 8 good, kind husband"
 "You never quarrel, l suppose. He never says anything rude or unkind, and he never goes out at night and comes home late?"
 70, no, of course not"
 "Never grumbles about the ex- pense?"
 "Whata strange girl you are? What makes you ask such foolish, silly ques- tions?"
 "Well, you know there are some such husbands"
 "Pve read about such cases of bru- tality, and I've heard people talk about such husbands, but don't know anything about it."
 "I am so glad tor your sake that you are happy. How sound the dear little fellow sleeps"
 "Yes; 1 wish you would take him in the next room and put him in his little cradle" said Mrs. Smith. Her friend complied with her request.
 While Miss Jones was in the next room the door was suddenly opened and MT. Smith entered. He had just come home and did not know Miss Jones was in the house. It was plain to see that he was as mad as wet hen. Shaking bill at his wife, he said in hoarse, cynical tone:
 "Here is another one of your infer nal bills. You must think Pm made of money"
 "H-u-s-hw said his wife putting her finger to her lips and pointing into the other room.
 "Hush, be blanked. I don't give continental whether the blank brat squalls or not. want you to under stand that don't propose to put up with any more of your extravaganza. This is the second hat you have had since we were married. Do you pro- pose to break me up in business with your senseless extravaganza? By the way gOu Uuy HOW hots OIiC WOulU suppose you had half dozen fool heads on your shoulders"
 "Oh, George! Dear George"
 "Just cheese that 'deah George' racket (mimicking her). Only last week paid a grocery bill of one dol lar and thirty -seven cents. You must think Pm little Jay Gould on wheels. Did man bring demijohn of brandy and two hundred cigars for mel"
 "Yes, and here is the bill for fifty seven dollars"
 "For heavens sake quit looking as if you were going to blubber! l just came home to tell you not to sit up for me. After the lodge is out am going to attend little oyster supper with the boys and some theatrical people down at the hotel. may not be back before three o'clock" and oil he was.
 Of course Miss Jones heard every word of this joint discussion, and when, shortly afterward, Brown pro- posed, he was tilted and bounced so promptly that he left the house with out his hat and cane. He was even more astonished than the lightning was when it struck magazine con- taining 1,756,S43 pounds of giant