The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1888-09-13
SOME LIVELY KICKS.
Vigorous Extracts from a Late Issue os
the ssArizona Kicker"

entirely abstained from publicly criti-
cising the evils which all know to exist
under our noses. We have become
tired and disgusted with ourselves for
this lack of spunk, and next week we
shall open a red-hot campaign on
The mayor,
The common council,
The fire department,
All secret societies,
The saloons,
The gambling dens,
And on various other organizations
and institutions reeking with corrup-
tion.
1t will be spicy issue. 1t will make
more than ton of human hair stand
on end. 1t will make thousand hearts
thump like pile-drivers. Chicanery,
deceit. hypocrisy, theft. robbery, arson
and murder will be properly tagged
off and the tags pinned to the right
coat-tails.
Order your extra copies at an early
date. Advertisers should send in their
copy by Saturday. Don't neglect this
golden opportunity. Another may
never come"
A CANDID OPINIoN.-We have re-
ceived visits from several of our lead
ing politicians to inquire why the Kicker
doesn't take a decided political stand
in favor of one party or the other. It
/ is a question easily answered. We are
not publishing newspaper for fun.
Our convictions all run to publishing a
dictionary or an almanac, thus leaving
1 us neutral in politics.
If the Kicker flies the Democratic flag
/ and hustles for Cleveland and Thurman
4 it must have some solid assurance that
| after election the editor will receive a
/ call. A call with a salary of about
/ $4,000 hitched to it would just about fit
our shape.
If the Kicker puts up the Republican
ticket and blows for its success it must
have something in writing to fall back
on after election. We think we could
fall back on post-office of the second
class and not fracture our anatomy.
We sat up all night last night watt
ing for a committee of Prohibitionists
to come along and get down to facts,
but the bridges were down and they
didn't come. We don't say that it all
depends on the Kicker which party
rules for the next four years, but we do
solemnly affirm that the editor will
keep clear of the whole mob and pub
lish nothing but poetry and local news
unless some pretty solid promises are
held out to arouse his slumbering con-
victions. We are not for sale, but we
do banker for Office.
STOPPED HIS PAPER. - Old Steve
Bridgeman, who has several times been
alluded to in these columns as the
meanest white man in Arizona, has
stopped his paper because we did not
have a column editorial on the Fourth
of July. He says we are no patriot
and that a man who can't whoop 'er VI
for independence Day is cussed rebel
We have scratched his name off the
list, and if he doesn't quit lying about
us we'll scratch his carcass off the face
, of the earth.
J As to the Fourth of July, we were
born on that day. As to patriotism
: we've got more in our heels than OLE
, Steve could hold in his whole body
} The man who intimates that we dom
: take off our hat every time We hear th
name of Washington is liar and
horse-thief Our editorial on the Fourtl
f was a solid chunk of patriotism weigh
: ing twenty-five pounds, but crowde
b out to make room for the advertisement
r headed: ssHow to Cure Bad Breath.
e We know our gait and we think w
g know the great need of most of on
9 townspeople. As to old Steve Bridge
d man, we are expecting two or three {
: his six or seven wives to drop in on L
S any day and furnish us some powerfr
+ good reading matter. Don't be uneasy
Stephen-well get to you in few day!
WARNING.-We are no fighter. W
have neither the sand nor the muscl
: to make one. We always knuckle III
less there's chance to run. We al
:. nit to dozen iclSings in the La
= three months, and in every case "
/ were the only one who suffered. Hoy
ever, we want to warn the coyote WI
y plastered our Office door with mud Il
= other night that the worm will tur
= We are the worm. When we turn
= had better look out. We can be kicke
= cuffed, insulted and abused up to ce
tain limit. How far off the limit
:, we don't know; but, when we reach
= we shall be bad, bad man to TO
I, with.-Detroit Free Press.
er An Allentown, Pa, firm of tailo
employs a pretty young lady as &C
ed lector. If a debtor murmurs som
lie thing about being short of money al
We hints at calling again. she smil
ne sweetly at him and takes a seat fro
nd which she seldom rises without t
money due in her hand.
a Cut off all diseased limbs from t
as / near trees shoa11d evidence IF the hlic