The prison mirror. [volume] (Stillwater, Minn.) 1887-1894, 1888-01-18
The Basket Wrestles With a Woven
Wire Mattrass.
Editor Mirror:

DO you want to buy bed? This is q woven-wire,
double action. eccentric combination of crank.
ness fits and starts and general cussedness. 1t is
very tame in Its appearance. but it is full of de-
ceit and springs. thin it was picked before it
| was ripe.
When the new rooms were furnished 1 was on
the qui vive for opportunity to get one. final.
ly succeeded and was in such hurry 10 get set
tied in my new house that left all my second
hand furniture in my old room. 1t had been some
time since a wOven-wire mattras, and myself had
met but the affection had for. the last one was
all given to my new one. without any solicitation
on its part. called it pet" because 1 did not
thoroughly know it. l made my rounds very rap
idly that night and my mind was Pet in
stead of my business didn't fully appreciate nor
laugh very heartily when No. said that las
can't get any coat to keep me warm put me down
fora heavy vest and a can of pepper" 1 was in
great hurry to try my bed. intended to
sleep right through breakfast and get up only at
the last bell. had formulated long. delightful
dream. Not having any wedding cake to dream
DER, made some of two slices of bread and Il
layer of molasses. l told my neighbor Brown
that if he heard any laughing hilarty in my
room to keep quiet about it for it would be moth
ant dreams; God bless you" from Brown. proceed
| ed to unrobe and after putting the cake under my
pillow, retired. sat down about the middle of
the bed, when to ny surprise both of its ends met
attributed this action to playfulness but light
ed the candle and thought I'd reason with it. 1
intended to suggest that familiarity might breed
contempt. and that if str king Il man on two sides
of his head at the time not familiarity
would beg its pardon.
This wovenwire mattrass is surrounded by
gas pipe aboutfan inch in diameter and is sus oend
ed from the ends but has s de supports. Not
being taut, light weight will cause it to sag an
inch more. So much for explanation.
Well, after making thorough survey and feel
ing confident that second attempt to mount
pet would be more successful, l approached it
gently on the off side. and crawled onto it, 1t
was still kittenish and very sensit We. The bed
ding and the mattrass wouldn't agree and directly
found that my night.shirt and myself were left
in the cold on the top. while the bed clothing on
the floor furnishing lodgings for the mice
The matches were above my bed and as the floor
was cold tried to stand up on the mattrass and
get the matches. AS 1 arose the mattrass
| stretched and one foot slipped between the gas
pipe and the mattrass. my arms flew wildly around
seized my cup of water, the cup turned and the
water run into my ngEtshirt pocket which
leaked; the cake got hot i'll the collar and the
molasses sneaked out and took possession of the
place had been I'M the chimney (my last one,
too, fell off the lamp and fr ghtened the mice
from the bed clothing and suddenly the mattrass
kicked and sat me down upon the corner of the
gas pipe. For awhile the air seemed filled with
pa n ntraQ
matches. lamp chimneys and molasses. 1 took
account of stock and found my shirt and floor
wet, my shns the worse for wear, lamp chimney
broken, cake spoiled, good humor gone, but the
woven-wire mattrass calm and placid as
summers day at noontide. was determined to
conquer that mattrass, so straddled it and in
tended to ride it to early dawn When awoke
my h p trying to warm the cold. cold gas
pipe, and as l was lying my left side the
stretching of the mattrass had heightened the
muscles of the left and contracted those OF
the right till I appeared deformed. The next
night slept on my right side 50 as get even,
but that idiotic piece of mechanism by morn
ing had so contracted my left muscles that 1 was
left handed all day. The third night intended
to sleep on my back but drew imaginary pic
ture of my appearance next day and came to the
I.c0nclusion that wouldn't
That mattrass is snare. and an invention Of
old man Satan. for heard him say, Il knew my
mattrass would fetch him.
The mattrass is for sale any terms which a
purchaser may fit to make.
Au revOir. BASKET.
An Act Of Kindness.
An incident occurred in the foundry Monday.
which though but slight deviation from what
might be expected, made such lasting impression
upon the inmates who witnessed it IT,. we cannot
avoid mentioning it for the benefit o! that class
of people who to regard a worthy
of christian charity when he gets behind The bars.
art had boon iihnra ted from the yin