The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1888-06-13
Pith and Point.

seems to agree with him.
A MAN in New Jersey, who was in very
destitute circumstances, applied TO the
town for help. He asked for some money
and pair of patent-leather slippers.
OLD man 0rom the floor above): as that
young man still in the parlor, Clara"
Young man (nervously): eyes, sir; but he
is trying to get away. "-Hayper's Bdzar.
A CHICAGO bank clerk obtained leave of
absence on the plea of toothache. When he
failed to return the bank officials went to
the root of the matter and found that his
plea was tooth in.
THE Electrical RerieW says that the light
ning-rod is a relic of superstition, and that
the day will come when lightning-rod on
a house will be regarded in the same light
as a horseshoe over door.
WAITER: CIVIL you try course din
ner?" Country groom; :" No, sir; no coarse
dinner for us. Bring us in the finest one
ye've got. We don't come down to the city
every day; do we, Matilda"
Weekly.
A PHYSICIAN analysed black band worn
by patient suffering from headache and
found three grains of lead. He concludes
that many headaches are due to the absorb
ton of lead from the hat-band.-Wedicdl
bulletin.
FoBBs: " Yes, there are a great many trials
in an editors life" Dobbs: What makes
you think so?" Fobbs: Well, poor devil
of an editor had to return a poem of mine the
other day because he hadn't room to insert
it."-TOWn Topics.
THE will of French advocate contains
the following bequest: 81 give 100000 francs
to the local mad-house. | got this money
out of those who passed their lives in ltiga-
tom in bequeathing it for the use of luna
tics | only make restitution"
Glow much cider did you make this
/
had offered a specimen for trial. Fifteen
barrels" was the answer. Another sip
Well, If you had had another apple you
might have made another barrel. "-Leisure
Hours
REV. DIR. PRTDGERN of Athens, Ga, who
preached his own funeral sermon the other
day, is about to contest his own will, which
leaves his property to his wife. He will
alege undue influence. He is aggreved
because Mrs. Pridgern will not let him keep
his coffin in the house.
LAST weeks paper contained the follow
! ing advertisement: " Boy wanted at this
office" The paper had not been in circula-
ton to exceed twenty-four hours when our
| wife presented us with fine ten-pOund
boy; yet there are men right here in Milford
| who say it doesn't pay to advertise.-Nl-
ford (W) Heraid.
| THE Malone Palladium says that DIR.
! Theodore Gay has presented his bill to the
executor under the will of the late ex-Nice-
president Wheeler for services to Mr..
| Wheeler during the last two years of his life.
In even figures it amounts to S14,S00, less
credits of few hundred dollars paid by
Mr.. Wheeler himself Mr. House declined
to pay the bill at these figures.
A BUTCHER at Gallipolis dreamed that
his horse was running away and in his
dream jumped from his wagon. 1t was all
a dream, but when he was gathered up his
| 11ar- hrnlypn "a u
bruised. He had jumped out of a third
story window. People who are troubled
with dreams of this class would find it safer
to sleep on the ground t1oor.-ColumbuS
| (Ohi0) journal.
THE Orlando (Florida) Reporter tells of a
vegetable garden owned by Lucius Merritt
! on floating island in Lake ApOpka in
which there are tomatO-vines with sixteen
feet of spread, one of which yielded three
pecks of splendid tomatoes at one picking
Cucumbers foot and half long and onions
as big as saucers are among the productions
| of this wonderful island, which is about
three acres in extent.
A MATCHMAKING old lady in Devonshire
England, is deeply impressed with the i'm
propriety of the short kits so commonly
worn by Highanders. and she wishes to
organize philanthropic society which vii
set itself to convert the Highlanders TO Ions
trousers, and, if necessary, give them the
of the proposed society might be- g Chart!
shall cover the multitude of shins."
If every woman could be sure of a hus
band like Mr.. Joseph Cummings of Eas
Oxford, Me-, it is probable that. the number
of those who sign themselves old maid
would materially lessen. As reported b,
the Mechanic Falls Ledger, Mr.. Cummings
who will be eighty years old mex
month, has done the housework anC
taken care of his sick wife much of thu
time for the past ten years. since Mrs. Cum
mings had paralytic shock. Last white
she was afflicted with rheumatism so sh
could not rise from her chair without help
Mr.. Cummings has done the cooking, wash
ing and ironing for four years, and thi
spring has been cleaning house in the mos
approved style. He lives on large farm
keeping a horse and twelve head of cattle
If this worthy man should ever be so I'm
fortunate as to become a widower he would
be in very great danger.-Bost0n Traveller.
WHILE the theatrical season is drawing
to close arrangements for open-air amuse
ments are under way, and Imre Kiralfy i
determined to hold his distinction. Las
year he thrilled the public by 1.-THE Fall o
Babylon" but this year the spectacle will
be Nero, or the Fall of Rome including
of course, that great fire which marke'
Nero's reign. " The fall of Babylon " re
quired the services of 900 performers ant
assistants but in Nero " the number will
be doubled. The stage used last summer wa
the largest in the world, but il has bee
almost doubled both in depth and width TO
the new spectacle. The expense in getting
up The Fall of Babylon " was more thai
S2j0,000, and Kiralfy was so well repaid TO
this vast outlay that he will increase it b.
an additional 100000. As this grand specta
Gle is to be held on Staten Island, il will
give the public the additional benefit of
fine sail and in this manner improvement
) of health will be added to the grand enter