Morning journal and courier., 1888-03-10

"Hello, deacon! You layin your plans tc go to camp meetin' next summer?"
 ''Dunno. Feared I ain't goin' to have g hoss fit to swap.'-Burlingto Free Press. Husband (at breakfast)-"An inter esting in the paper, my dear,' Wife (a even the death of anyone we know. ."--The Epoch.
 It is reported that Maurel the French baritone. will come to this country this year at salary not much less than $250, ,0e0 Some editor has probably hired him tc amuse the children.-Oil City Blizzard. Miss Gushington-Do you not find Dr. Smalltalk very entertaining! He is such s mimic.
 MT. Sneerington (who detests the doctor)- have often noticed that the doctor takes people off very cleverly.-Town Topics.
 Young Lady-''What lovely passamen- terie trimmings! How much are theya Clerk-"Fifty dollars a yard, Miss. " "Humph! The idea of paying $50 a yard for trimmings that only show in windy weather. ."-Onaha World.
 If anybody will tell us how politicians could get along without the tariff to quarrel about, we guarantee to inform him, on his order enclosing a return stamp, what law yers will find to do when the millennium comss.-Boston Transcript.
 DEOWh- l W 0nL lC Duy Q 0OS. Dumley-"That's a good idea. Brown. l think every man ought to own dog. ' Brown-t'Do you know where can get a good oneg' Dumley-"Yes; I'll sell you mine "-Harper's Bazaar.
 A mathematical genius has figured out that if all the bustles now in use were to be heaped in one pile it would be large enough to cover the State of Rhode Island. If this statement is exact it proves either that there are fewer women who wear bustles or that Rhode Island is smaller than we have thought. Citizen.
 Occupied in your devotions, I see," said Hawss to Miss Brewster, whom he found looking over her prayer book, when he called the other evening. 'Were you locking up something in reference to Lent.''
 "Yes," replied the girl, 'I was trying to figure out how soon it ended. Puck.
 Restaurant waiter Gin Washington)- Mem Der of Congress, sah?
 Yes.
 Waiter-What State, ssha Customer-From Maine. Waiter (vociferously)-B an milk an pie fer one.-Omaha World. A titled Englishman's first meal at ar American hotel last month was breakfast, and having heard great deal about special | Iy choice astronomical things in this coun l try he straightway called for terrapin l When informed that that delicacy was no served for breakfast he said: fsAh, reall, now! We'll, then, by love, you'll fetch mt some mince pie and canvas-back, won l you?"-Gazette.
 ''My house," said one lady, t'is eomplet 1 lobster salad. It was bad enough when tn yellow walls and the green blinds suggested Mayonnaise and lettuce, but the landlor' has put some red tubs on the lawn, and nov | we look garnished with lobster claws. Ant your house is almost bad. saw it frs on gray day, and it was just the color 0 spruce gum, but yesterday in the sun it look ed lighter" GAS if it had been chewed, assented the tenant sadly.-Coneord (N. H Monitor.
 Tramp, tramp tramp, the months are Marching
 Cheer up comrades, spring will come, l And beneath the budding trees | We shall catch the bugs and bees, | Tum- ti-tun- i-tum- -ti.tum- i-tum-t ttum.
 -Pttsburg Chronicle.