The morning news., 1888-08-30
BRIGHT BITS.

SOME ONE says that wealth is shadow. This
is, perhaps, the reason that we all like to sit in
the Shade.-BOstOn Gazette.
SHIPS are about the only thing we know of
that can travel mile after mile on tacks and
show no signs of pain.-DdnsUiHe Breeze
THERE are two kinds of window curtains-the
self-rOlling kind, that won't stay down, and the
kind raised with string, that won't stay up
Exchange.
THERE is always something to discourage the
farmers of Kansas, How are they going to
manage to shuck corn that grows ten feet from
the ground ?-KdtSdS city Star.
FIRST LrAR-Tall1ing about rare coins, my
brother has one of the original pieces for which
Joseph was sold by his brethren.
Second Lar-That's nothing. I've got an
uncle who owns the Identical ladder Jacob saw
in his dream.-1erdS SUtings.
Boston FooTPAD (sternly, yet with diznity)-
Elevate the manipulatory extremties of your
arms Remain in statu quo. (To confederate)
-Rinaldo, institute an exhaustive exploration
of the receptacles in this gentleman's personal
habiliments. Chicago Tribune.
my SON." said the Judge, blandly, to the
youthful witness do you know the nature OF
an oath p
II think I do, sir" replied the little boy,
timidy, my father has been betting on the
Detroits this season. X Chicago Tribune.
A BosroN FISH DEALER wrote to Mayor Roche
that he had shipped several barrels of fish to
CD1cdkO WHICH Udl HOI ItdCntu tuCiI ucSOlld-
ton. Il wish said he, you would run around
the depots and see if you can find the fish any
where If you do, write me and will send the
postage. Chicago Journal.
SOMEWHAT unpublished mother of very
charming daughter was recently heard to say;
Il don't intend lettin' Emily go back to Nine.
Warnings school. They don't teach 'em right
Now, / don't know so very much myself, but l
never would tell my child that TX. spell nine.
It's absolutely ridiculous. us."-Harper'S MdgG-
zine.
RESIDENTS of Somerville who do not receive
their tax bills sooner than their neighbors
should not feel hurt by the apparent neglect.
We have excellent authority for saying that no
one has been forgotten by the assessors, and
that everybody will receive cards of invitation
to the levees in city hall just as soon as the
police officers can get around to them.-iSomer-
UitLeJ 0ur7ldL.
The MEANING WAS TIE SAME.-Perhaps there
is too much progressive eucher about At any
rate q small boy in New England household
who has learned to read enough to join in the
morning exercises, but sometimes bolts a large
word, astonished the family one morning when
he came to the passage in the Psalms, Let not
mine enemies triumph over me, - with this rem
deringi Let not mine enemies trump over
me."-HdIper'S Magazine.
NOVEL IpEA.-Two teachers of languages
were discussing matters and things relative to
their profession.
"Do your pupils pay up regularly on the first
of every month"; asked one of them.
No they do not" was the reply 81 often
have to wait for weeks and weeks before | get
my pay, and sometimes l don't get it at all
You can't well dun the parents for the money :"
"Why don't you do as dor l always get my
money regularly"
"How do you manage itH''
TT is very simple. For instance, am teach
ing boy French and on the first day of the
month his folks don't pay the money for the
lesson. In that event give the boy the follow
ing sentence to translate and write out at home
L have no money. The month is up Hast
thou got any money? Have not thy parents
got money. | need money very much. Why
hast thou not brought the money this morning?
Did thy father not give thee any money! Has
he no money in the pocketbook of his uncle's
great auntH That fetches them Next morn
ing you bet that boy brings the money. "-TeTGS
SiftinqS