Morning journal and courier., 1888-09-24
POSSIRL LIE.

Possibly the most courteous of all tn,
masts is the top-gallant.-Ocean.
The man in the moon ia doubtless married
to the maid of green cheese.-Time.
Saratoga is famous for spring water, ant
Niagara for fall water.-Yenkers Statesman
The Epistle of st. Paul to the stockhold.
ers-No dividend this time.-Lowell Cour'
ier.
When poverty is abolished, what hard
time everyone will have doing all his OWE
work!-Puck.
Somehow or other, even q sensible man
never wholly gets over his surprise because
other people aren't SO much interested as he
is in the frat photograph of his first baby
Somerville Journal.
The Powers That tBe.-Nistress-'Br Bridget
I wish you wouldn't go out this afternoon.
am not feeling very WELL" Bridget-"F Faith,
but that's qusre rsysonl I'm well enough
mesilf, amt Ii"-Life.
Not Much Breakage.-"Oh, the French
man was very harshly treated. They threw
him off the balcony into the street" "They
didl Well, was he hurt muohi Anything
brokefir' Nothing but his English. "-Har.
per's Bazaar.
"What's that yer says, Lenuel SimpkinsF
''I says that the Mills bill taxes my onder-
standin'" 'tGet out; yer can't tell me there's
any tax on a mans onderstandin', leastwise
on yourn; it wouldn't be wuth collectin'."-
Harper's Weekly.
Dawdle-'sWhen did you get back from
Washington Brightly Yesterday." Daw-
dle-"Well, what did you think of our legis
latersa How did they impress your Brightly
-"I came away feeling sorry that had ever
abused our Common Council. Lowell Citi.
zen.
"Young man." shouted her papa over the
banisters at about a. m, "you seem to take
no note of timel" "No," replied the pros
porous young merchant in business-like
tone, never for more than thirty days
And the old man returned quietly to bed
and dreamed of his prospective son-in-laW
and boodle.-Lowe1 Citizen.
First Reporter-'.Tm just about dead. I've
had to fill about six columns day all sum
mer." Second Reporter "That's queer.
can never get decent report into the paper
never any room; have to boil everything
down to the smallest possible space. Wha
line of work are you ins" ''Tm the base bal
man. What's your department." 'Im OF
the religious racket. ."-Philsdelph Record
Mrs. Penn-What a quiet young man Mr.
Walnut is. don't know anyone who is 81
modest, SO retiring, SO unobtrusive, So
Mr. Penn-I do.
Mrs. P.-You doa Why, William, who's
Mr. P.-His brother is SO much quiete
that comparison ceases Co compare.
Mrs. Pills brotherl
Mr. P.-Yes. He's dead.
And then the silence was SO intense tha
they could hear the bed tiok.-Philadelphi
Call.
A good story is told of an actor who re
Gently paid visit to Cohoes. He had but S
to reach home and the thought struck hin
that if he could get someone to bet with hin
he might attain the desired amount. He en-
tered a saloon kept by an Irishman, told hin
| his plight, saying he wanted to make bet
stAu right" said the bartender, who had JUS
purchased ham, 'Pll bet you 81. so that yol
| can't carry this ham abross the street anS
back without laying 1t down." The bet wa
promptly accepted and the actor seized th'
| ham by the string, walked across the stree
and back and laid the ham on the floor
| "You've lost" said the Irishman; ''you lait
| il down. But here comes friend of min,
| and you can get even." The friend readil,
bit at the bait. He seized the ham, walked
| across the street and back and hung the han
on hook, thus winning the stakes. 1t il
not known whether the actor has reached hi
destination yet.-Albany Journal.