The Forrest City times., 1888-01-21
A Oueer Postmaster.

 tbs purpose of investigating certa n re- ,or,e,. crookedness- One afternoon he reacbsd a small cabin siiualed near lonely roNd. He stopped. intending to get a drink .ot water. and as he drew near inc house he was astonished at seeing a agnboard 'earing the follow ma inscription: "Poo,. oils" An old fellow with grizzly bearn anu hairy raest-displaycd, as his shir, was uu- tattoned-came out and merely nod fling to the inspector. sat down onS vtump. "How are you?' said the inspector ''Tol ble."
 "Have you any fresh water handy7" "Plenty uv it down thar in the branch. One uv the boys shos my bucket all ter pieces an sense then halter go ter ther branch ven l wanter drink" : Just then a man, mounted on mule, rode up an asked: MT. Hummer. got any letters for me?"
 "Yes thar's one here, Bill Patterson, but you kain't get it. Go on away from here. or I'll make you wush you hadn' come"
 ..Wush yer would give it ter me-" .Yas, and ther nigger wushed that lher coon would come down outer ther tree but it didn't come.
 Say, Mir. Plummer. Shut your mouth an say nothin'. an morn that. yon'd better lnosey ,way frum here. " The man rode away. and the inspect- or, addressing the postmaster asked: "Why didn' you give that man his Ietterg'
 "Kase he worked agin me when run for iestice nv peace.
 ..Yes. but the government doesn't care any ything for that. ..Reckon not, but do."
 But you were appointed to serve the people" :" some nv them Ike old Nick.
 My friend. am travelling post of- 1 fee inspector and--
 All right. then, travel. ' sIf report you to the postotfice de- pertinent. which l shall be very apt to i do. you'll travel"
 "Recken not. This establishment b'lonos ter me an nobody's got right ter tell me 10 git out. "
 "How long havo you had this of f,cep" Ever sense built it. /"
 .I mean. how long have you beeni postmasters" .'Bont n year. reckon" At tn s juncture an old fellow, cau- liouslY picking his way among the bush els. approached the postmaster, who upon seeing him sprang to his feet and exela med: '.Whut in thunder do you want here. Abe SmithF'
 "Come after that paper.
 Didn't tell yer that yer kain' get Iitp"
 "Yes, but I lowed that yer mout change yer mind. !"
 Wall, l han't When yer refused ter lend me yer slide an hoss [ other week l told yer that ger couldn't git nothin' else outen this office. .I'm CT gon' ter get that paper" i NOt itsstn ) el u pSNfOi "i"' s"'u be-"
 An that's erbout what think" <. Wall, help yersof. V .. With agility surprising for snch ola men they.gappled each other and began desperate struggle Abe Smith sue. ceeded in lhrow,ng the postmaster.
 Now" said Smiih as he began to choke old Hummer, 'goin' ter let me have that paperp'
 A gurrled 'Yes" came from the post masters throat Sm th released his hold and suffered Pummer 10 get up.
 "Wall. - said the postmaster, as he stood brushing Inc fragments of leaves and bark from his beard. Il reckon wuz sorter mistaken in yer. 1 ddn' t know that yer wuz such nice man. Come'in Abe, an git yer paper, fur yer have earned it like white man.
 ''Ain't thar letter fur me, too?"
 "Yas"
 Wall. want it."
 -'Kain't git it. Able. Yer fit fur thsr paper an not fur ther letter"
 ''Got ter have it. Hummer"
 Not lessen yer whip me ergain.
 'B Ieve ken do it.
 All llEht, Able.
 They went at it again, pranced around. striking at each other. r nal ly Hummer struck Abe heavy blow and felled h.m; then. seating himself on the prostrate man he said:
 Don't want ther letter. do yer Abie?"
 Reckon not Hummer"
 "All right; come erhead an git yer paper"
 When Abe had gone the postmaster turned to the inspector and said:
 Want any tn ng outen mep"
 No. believe mol" "
 ''Ef yer had CT letter here an didn't want yer to have it yer wouldn't argy lher p int would yer?"
 'I don't think that I should"
 Don't want no truck with mo?"
 "None"
 "Wall, then. good-by. Got ter go in