St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1888-08-16
THE BOYCOTT.
Misfortunes of Fraudulent Foreigner
From Time.

Misfortunes of Fraudulent Foreigner
From Time.
The sun was going down behind the
western hills when a Philosopher start
ed out for his accustomed stroll. Hard
ly had he gone a rod before he encoun-
tered parsonage so singular that he
could not but pause and wonder.
Of gigantic height and ferOcious WIS.,
age, bearded like a pard and attired in
all the panoply of war. A gun, a
sword, mighty club, a knotted whip
of many thongs formed but a part of
his armOr, and his fierce and lowering
eyes peered this way and that as if in
search of a victim for his ire.
The Philosopher prudently drew a
side to let this awful creature pass and
would not have accosted him had not
the other paused and spoken:
"Have no fear" it said 81 am per-
fectly harmless"
The pacific speech and more, per-
haps, the mild and broken voice so
strangely at variance with the ferocious
aspect, appeased the apprehensions of
the Philosopher and he entered into
conversation.
"I fain," said he, "would know who
and what you are. On my daily trav-
els do not remember to have met you.n
every likely" was the sad response.
"You are not in business or trade. But
you must have heard of mel am the
Boycott"
In spite of his tutored mind the Phil
osOpher could not repress shudder.
"Heard of yOuw he exclaimed. elm
deed have! For several years the
fame of your exploits has reached my
ears, but this is the first time 1 have
had the pleasure" He paused and then
asked with some timidity GLOW comes
it that you are aloneq / had fancied
that you always went abroad with a
numerous retinue."
The Boycott sighed deeply. before
replying. "Sit down." said he, motion
ing to convenient seat, "and l will
explain. Do not be alarmed at my
proximity. This gun is not loaded and
my sword is pewter. 1 am" he con-
tinued without any further preamble,
ga foreigner. In fact, am an Irish
man. was lusty infant shortly after
my birth, and 1 won my spurs by as
ailing military man who was guilty
of collecting rents. My success was
SO great that became a terror to land
lords and l was induced to emigrate to
America. Alas I"
"What is the matter 2" queried the
Philosopher.
81 should have stayed at home. On
my arrival here l was welcomed by the
workingmen as benefactor, counsel
lor and guide, and on their behalf and
their instigation 1 attacked in turn ev-
cry imaginable industry" For the
nonce the Boycott's voice became stri-
dent as he recOunted his exploits.) 81
walked into printing offices and de-
manded an increase of wages, l direct
ed who should build houses and make
all articles of use and luxury: 1 man
aged half the railroads in the country.
When employers saw me coming they
got down on their knees and crawled
before me. 1 became so arrogant that
| attacked women and children, poor
widows keeping shop and young wOm-
en- teaching school, as we'll as lordly
pork packers and railway magnates.
smile now (and it is the only satisfac-
ton left), at the contemplation of such
a large business carried on with no
capital"
"Ahq" queried the Philosopher.
81 am" said the Boycott, frankly,
can arrant coward and always was. l
smile at the stupidity that could not
detect my true character. If it had
not been for the daily press l would
have been run out of the country long
ago."
"The daily press! The palladium
"Of our liberties Yes. L dictated
editorials for nearly all the editors in
the land and the editors truckled to
my power when the slightest investi
CATION would have punctured my pre-
tensions. 1t was the logic of events
that exposed me. 1t was noticed that
when l attacked a newspaper its circu
lation increased, and when 1 forbade
people to ride on certain railroad the
company had to put on more cars.
Shrewd men even began to invite my
attacks as a means of extending their
business, and at last the editors plucked
up enough courage to call me foreign
fraud.n
81 hear that you are still in business
out West" said the Philosopher.
$50 l am" admitted the Boycott,
with a CHASTITY grin, "and am making
a spectacle of myself, as usual. blus-
ter and roar, flourish my gun and wave
my sword, but nobody runs away any
more. l doubt if 1 could scare a poor
baker woman now"
''It is a sad CASE" said the Philoso-
pher.
sit is," said the Boycott; "but what
can dO9 1 am an exposed braggart
whom nobody fears, yet l am forced to
strut around and threaten people who
mock me. Oh, why don't they let me
60 away somewhere and die l think
they might save me from becoming
utterly ridiculous"
His distress was pitiful, but the Phil
osopher lacked words to encourage the
the fallen giant. just then there came
the sound of music in the distance and
motley rabble hove in sight carrying
rude transparencies.
"Hah !" cried the Boycott, his face
Frightening. "The Brewers and Brake
mems union My sole remaining be-
levers Let me join them and inhale
the Whit of incense from the remaining