The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1888-08-25
puNaENr:pARAoRAPHs.


lin polite circles the word drunk"
Or Intoxicated" is no longer used.
"Overestimated his capacity is the
proper thing.
.-Old gentleman Ito convict)-"What
is the most Objectionable feature you
find in prison life, my dear friend"
Convict Visitors. IN 7. San.
--"Look out for number one" Is like
the baseless fabric OF a dream to a
widow on the q,.i vive for q second hus-
and.-Binghamton Republican.
1t is said that kissing was intro
duced into England by Rowena. There
are lots Of fellows who would like to
subscribe $5 for monumentto Rowena-
burlington Free Press.
st. Louis man witnessing "Julius
Cesar O-"Do you notice, my dear,
with what stately grace Brutus moves
aboutp" Wife-"Yes, and he is in his
night-gown, too. It's wonderfully
FL notice." remarked Amy, "that
the milk shake is making a heap of fuss
now" "Yes," replied the High School
girl, "the tactical agitation is RESPONSE
BILE for considerable perturbation. y
Pittsburgh Chronicle.
4 Some one says that an umbrella
will last much longer If it is placed
with the handle downward to dry. To
preserve 1t still longer, attach 1t to
your body with long chain and pad
-Norristoton Herald.
1t is not always easy to tell whether
or not a woman really means what she
says; but this rule does not apply when
she is expatiating on the accomplish
ments of her baby. She may be mis-
guided. but she is always perfectly
sincere. Someruille Journal.
-"All the men are not fools, any
how" snapped Mrs. Curtly to her hus-
band during little domestic discus
sion. mo, my dear" replied Mr.. c.,
with true manly politeness. "No,
there are few bachelors left as sam
pies. ~ Washington Critic.
Did you ever notice how incon-
sistent women areP Nothing touches
them in such a tender spot as the sug-
gestion of antiquity, and yet what do
nine out of ten of the dear creatures
say when they meet each other on the
streetp They say: "Why it's been an
age since saw your
Police Protection .-Smith-'.H
do you like your new house out in the
suburbs?" Jones-"The only objection
! have to it is that it is so far to the
police station in case of burglars" !"
why didn't you rent q house near a
saloonP You can always find police
man hanging around there. ."-Teras
Siftings.
Mrs. Lenox Hill, Jr. (getting ready
to leave etown)-''Lenox, where shall l
hide these silver spoons, in case thieves
break IMP DO you think between the
mattresses would be a good placer"
MIR. Lenox Hill, Jr. (who knows what
he is talking about --"Nonsense! Put
them into one of your dress pockets in
the closet, and If burglar finds that,
he deserves the spoons!'-Pxck.
THE types,'' observes Southern
Missouri paper apologetically, ''made
us allude last week to our esteemed
townsman, Mr. Polhemus, as villain
Gus lounger. We wrote versatile law
YER The error was overlooked by our
proof-reader, d gentleman recently
from Texas, who assures us, in extern
uation of the oversight, that the two
terms mean pretty much the same
thing where he came from"
-Clergymen should be brief and to
the point. A Boston clergyman once
had broad hint to that effect 1--WE
would like to have you short when you
marry u.s." said prospective BRIDE
groom, "because we are going West"
"How soon after the ceremony will you
startp" asked the clergyman. ''In
about a week." was the reply. Then
the minister realized he had reputa-
tion as one possessing the gift Of con-
tinuance. -Harper's Magazine.