The Portland daily press., 1888-11-02

$500 Reward for an incurable case of chronic
Nasal Catarrh offered by the manufacturers of
DR.. sage's Catarrh Remdy. 80 cents, by drug
glsts.
Blobson-Had little tea fight at our house last
night.
Blobson-Yes; my wife said there ought to be
twSt Us IN better, and said there ought to be
Dumpsey-Your wife was right.
biposoh-En2 Right? For heavens sake don't
dei her or she'll never let up GU me; Pm presi-
uent OF the Business Mems Literary Club.
Moro cases OF sick headache, bilious
ness, constipation, be cured In less time with
less medicine, and for less money, by using Car
ters Little Liver Pills, than by any other means.
Stranger TO bartender in Fart pallery'')-I see
you have fine interior decorations here
Bartender-Best in the city sir. There is
DoItle OF interior decoration that has been in the
cellar for twenty years.
Safe, reliable, harmless, and CHI cap is Dr. BULBS
Cough Syrup. We do not wonder at its popular
ity.
He saw before him the gladiator die" Yes
and he wouldn't perhaps, il there had only been a
sensible man to rub him well with Salvation OIL
do GSs-Do you carry two Watches Jack, is that
Jack-No bluff. Gus, carry Waterbury in
one pocket and z Jurgensen in the other
Gus--Whats that for?
Jack.When man to whom owe money asks
me the time consult my Waterbury, but when
stranger or a lady wants the same Information
forget it. ~
Do not suffer from sick headache
moment longer. 1t is not necessary Carriers
Little Liver Pills will cure you. Dose one little
pill Small price. Small dose. Small pill.
Prot. Thumpitt-Mees squawker, 1 viii now try
ab Miss aHs -Yah-ah--ah --ah-ah-ah-
Prof. Thumpitt- gootness madame, Iy.s
trying you for your voice, not for murder.
When Baby was sick, we gave her Castoria,
When she was a Child. she cried for Castoria,
When she became Miss, she chung to Castoria,
When she had Children. she gavethem castoria,
Edith cat her writing desk)-Dear, dear mel
where is the dictionary? 1t seems as II would
Mabel should think you'd be glad Of that.
just think how splendidly you're fitted TO
write dialect stories.
A Return to Duty.
This is always desirable, and the speedier it
takes place the better. Doubly welcome is 1t in
the case of those usually industrious little organs
the kidneys. which, when they go on strike so
to speak-and drop work, seriously imperil health
In more than one way. First and foremost, their
inaction begets their disease, which Is hydra
headed, including such dangerous maladies as
Bright's disease and diabetes. Next, when
inactive they fail to assist in removing from the
blood impurities that beget rheumatism, govt and
dropsy. Third, their inactiOn weakens the blad-
der. All this Is preventable and remediabe by
the pleasant promoter of organic action, Hostel
ter's stomach Bitters, atonce tonic and regu-
lator. This gently but effectually impes the kid
neys TO return 10 duty, and strengthens them and
the bladder. Upon the bowels, stomach and liver
II likewise exerts regulating and inv1gVrating
influence, and, Y strengthens the system, and
ayerts and remedies malaria and rheumatism.
Jim and young African companion were one
day fishing from the wharyes. His friend missed
his footing, fell into the water and was drowned.
Jim's grief was so uproarious that sympathetic
by-stander inquired II the drowned boy was a
relation. fal7-F ot eHft ts -feI esfi
"No," said Jim through his terrs; '.he warnt
no relation. but he mouts well been-he had all
de bait."-Harper's Magazine.