The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1888-03-14
BURDETTE'S COLUMN.
GRIP Shafts Of Wit Aimed Ut I06erB
FolhIss-wemsn and Secrets.
Criticism as q Fine Art-Tbe Grestness
That Was Thrust Upon an author
That Noble AnimaI-ralk and
Thought
(Copyriph ted, 1881

NOCpNIlBn btus IooS
Yes, Albert, it is possible for you to live
to the end Of your days performing suo-
cessfully every day the rare feat Of keeping
your mouth shut at the right time, OF
never uttering q sentence until you have
first weighed it carefully in your mind,
revised it, and adjusted it accurately to
existing conditions of things. Yes, you
can do that. But, then, you won't do any
thing else. No, my boy, If you do that
always, you won't do one other, lin gering,
solitary, lonesome thing in all your life.
You will have time to DO nothing except
to think what you are going to say and
how you are going to say it, and then by
the time you are al ready, and open your
mouth, the man you were going to say 1t
to will have grown weary OF waiting and
gone away,
GREATNESS THRUST UPON Hut.
This is my friend, Mr.. Inkweu, Mrs.
Gnshipgwon," sa.d the Professor; 1.-THE
author of work on American genealogy
which bids fair 10 become q household"
'0h, my dear Mr.. IUkven I have been
dying to see you. owe 10 you a list of
sleepless nights. I got hold of your
it down long enough to take my meals.
It is so fsscinstingly interesting" And
poor Mr.. Inkwell, who has Just published
the new city directory for 1855. is so
tossed about in his mind that ne desires 10
crawl into the register, bat can not.
THAT NOBLE ANIMAL.
Professor Gleason, the horse trainer, says
when "a horse has large, round, full eyes
standing out well from the head" ne is
apt to be intelligent aud teschsble. We
don't know much about horses, out when
you see q man with eyes of that 6escrip-
ZION, large, round, and prominent-what
are vUlgsrly termed pop eyes" you
can bet your soTdiG millions he csn
talk mile post stone deaf in hat day.
He's tSlker. You never il your life
knew pop-eyed msn who didn't love TO
tklk-early, late, and at al times-about
politics, religion, the weather, himself,
yourself, any body, anything, just so he
talks. Ee's DO fool; the sign holds in him
ss 1t does in GleEson's horse, nut, Lsnd Of
Silence, what chstteTer ne is!
TIE LocK IN GLASS.
No, George. You CO not look through the
Lick telescope with your tongue. It's Oh
other kind OF msgnifyipg glass entirely
that man opens bis mouth and snutE his
ful tkings have ben2iHe through II.
coed PLACE TO STORE JOKES.
There is only one salt mine IN the lutte
Stetes, ana that Is away down in Louisiana.
No wonder so many people IN this country
are 20 bopelessly fresh.
PROBABLY NEVER WILL BE.
docs cigarette smoking affect TIE
bIsin2 Can ssv, Albert; there have never
been any experiments with that Con bin
alton.
MAD Fer WEALTH AND FOWER.
Another Baltimore girl has married ~
editor. IL makes Ole hesrtsick aEd O.
rowfpl to zee our bright, happy, beau.i
youDg girls thus selling their youth 4
their love end their lives for gold anG a
re.gning position in society.
AT TEE FAIR.
How did you come out in your lotte ?
drawing, Tommy ~ '0h. | winned :" a. !
should Say I won.'" mo, winned. Tns
prize wss a Japanese fam