Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-10-24
JEST FOR FUN.


A sToP-wATCH-A suspended police
man.-Golden Days.
SPEAKING of blowing people up, the
kerosene can Washington Critic.
THE man who has lost his left arm has
left arm that is right arm.-Harper's
Bdzar.
A CONTEMPORARY says lawyers are
noted for losing their patience. How
about doctors ?-Ric1tm0ad Dispatch.
THE manageable American girl needs
protection. She is being ruined by the
foreign pepper Duluth Photographer.
1t is well at times to be ostentatious.
A man was committed to Jail for vagran-
CIV because he had no visible means of
support Harper's Bazaar.
80, PA, heard you talking this morn
ing about scratching the ticket. Is the
ticket itchy ?' mo, my son, bit the
palm that holds it is."-Draks's Mega
cine.
SIS Mr.. Bromley tall ?'' PERSONALLY
he 49, PERSONALLY? eyes. Off
cially he is short-s30,000 short. That's
why he went to Montreal. "-Harper's
Buzdr.
PHILADELPHIA Girl-"And 80 Miss De-
Pink is married. Did she marry rich ?"
Friend-"I guess so. Their wedding
tour included day at Niagara Falls"
Philadelphia Record.
THE following advertisement speaks
for itself: "Wanted-A husband; am a
poor girl; widower or bachelor pre-
Ierred. Address Annie L., care Even
ing Journal, Atlanta, Ca"
''HE's awfully cute, Mr.. Larrinty. He
kisses me now whenever l ask him to, !"
said the young mother. "Ah ~ said
Larrinty. cit is not unusual Tor a-ah
baby to show SO much intelligence at
so-ah-early an age. "-Harper's Bdzar.
Mrs. CLuBMAN crushing into her maid s
room late at nlght)-Marie. Marie,
there's burglar in the house. I hear
him coming up the stairs. Marie (sleep-
ily)-Perhaps it's Mr.. Cluhman. mo,
it isn't; it's a burglar. He has not
stumbled or fallen once. Philadelphia
Record
ST. PETER Ito new arrlvaD "Ah,
there! Where are you from % Just
came from the earth. I was profess
you'd better not come in here" why ?"
'You wouldn't enjoy yourself. There
isn't a goat or stove pipe from one end
of Heaven TO the other. "-Nebrasku
State Journal.
MIsTREss-Did you buy stamp and
mail the letter, Bridget? Bridget-Oi
did, mum, an here's the change. Mis-
tress-How much did you pay for the
stamp? Bridget-Wan clint, mum. The
boy said he had 'em all the way from
wan clint up, an it's not the loikes Of
Bridget O'Toolihan wot goes about
wastin' money.-NeW York San.
IT'S strange what queer .Leople you
read about" said Mrs. McGud1ev,
"Y es'm," said her nephew Jesse. Now
| understand that the people away up
around the North Pole actually eat cam
dies if they can get them" ''Yes'm
but not as a regular diet" "What for,
then ?" ''Oh, guess as a sort OF light
lunch. Merchant Iraueler.
"WHAT shall l call that great political
meeting in Bugeville?" inquired the tel
egraph editor of the Daily Door Knob.
81 am not sure whetherit should be re-
garded as gathering, a rally, or dem
onstration." "Was it in favor of our
candidate or the other fellow" asked
the night editor. 1.-The other fellow"
Then call it a fasco, of course. I am
question. y Chicago Necs.
81 AN obliged to you, Mr.. Cahokia."
said the young lady from Boston: 81
row evening if you wish, but not to-
night. Have you forgotten she con-
tinued, softly wiping her sp-ctacles,
that this is the eighty-ffth anniversary
of Emerson's birth? cannot desecrate
it. Please do not press me, Mr..
Cahokia." "I-I wasn't pressing YOU,
Miss Howiames ~ gasped the ST. Louis
young man, retreating to the other end
of the sofa.- Chicago Tribune.
HUSBAND during a quarrel with his
wife)-" Well, I'm glad that there's no
next world" Wife (tartly)-" So am
l." H" And we'll be far enough
apart, anyway, in the next world"
w: linterestingly)-'' You think we
will ?" III. (sardonicallv)-"Ye s, as far
apart as heaven and hell are"
w. (placidly)-" Well. always thought
you wanted to go to heaven, John, but
now [ see that you expect to go to the
other place. Boston Courier.
SNAFFLE, after long courtship, finally
persuaded his girl to marry him and 60
to housekeeping, on condition that he
should help to do the washing The
first Monday after their marriage they
hung out the clothes, when Snaff1e,
looking with pride at the display of fine
linen and things on the clothes line, re-
marked: mice lot of driftwood, amt
it Mandy ?" "Driltwood What do YOU
mean-you hateful old thing % "Whv,
rittwood-washed up by the tied, you
now."-Erchanoe