The Portland daily press., 1888-09-17
NE WAS PREPARED.
He Went wooIng With stethoscope
and RespIrometer.
lChicago Tribune.1


"You don't know what love Is, Mr.. Swack-
hammer, protested the beautiful girl, with q
smile Of incredulity on her face; 'the senti-
ment you entertain for me is only a passing
fancy When it has had its brief day and you
look at it in the cold light of reason. you will
be surprised that you ever mlstook so palpable
a delusion for the genuine thing"
But hear me, Miss Clearinghouse" ex-
claimed the young man calmly, yet earnestly.
"am not old enough to know my own"
1t is not question Of age, Mr.. Swack-
hammer" interposed Miss Garlinghou Sc,
stun smiling incredulously, ''but of scientific
demonstration. AS you are probably aware
have devoted myself for the last two or
three years to severe course Of scientific
study, and have acquired the habit, per-
haps uncoRsciously. Of accepting nothing as
true that is not demonstrable by the inexor-
able rules of mathematics or the soundest
process Of logical induction. Science has
become with me the touGhstone of all things
asserted, claimed, or proposed, and"
But how do you apply the rules Of science
10 matters OF the hearth" inquired the young
man. "How can you subject my love to a
mathematical or scientific demonstration
In this way, Mr.. Swackhammer: The
action OF the passion or emotion Of love upon
the various sympathetic ganglia Of the human
organism causes certain well-established and
clearly defined phenomena. When you speak
TO me Of love, l look for the appearance Of
those phenomena. From scientific point Of
view they ara not satisfactory. The tremor
Ia your voice Is not sufficiently pronounced
Your articulation Is not thick and husky
The color in your face is hardly a shade paler
than its normal hue, and you have no
nervous movements Of the hands. Do you
think a mere assertion can disprove the
"Alyira Clearinghouse" came impetuously
from the lips Of the young man, as ne rose to
his feet, there are facts in mental as well as
physical science that are not wholly beneath
your notice. Some men are gifted with a
marvellous faculty of self-control, so far as
external manifestations are concerned.
Beneath the apparently unmoved exterior
tnat you have subjected ito scientific test
there RACES volcano of passion. Do you
doubt itY l Will demonstrate 1t to a mathe-
matlcal certainty. l foresaw the skepticlsm
with which you would receive my avOwal,
and came prepared. Listen to the beating OF
my hearth
. And with quick movement he drew from
beneath his waistcoat the flexible tube Of
stetnoscope and placed 1t against her ear.
Count the pulsationsl" he continued.
They will run nearly 100 TO the minute.
Normal heartbeat, seventy pulsations.
Note the revelation of deathless love con-
duced another flexible tube. "Respirations
per minute, twenty-eightl Twenty eight,
Alylra-count tthem-twenty-eight! Normal
respirations per minute, from fourteen to
twenty in adults. Observe the mathematical 4
certainty Of tempestuous passion demon
strated by my temperaturew And,opening
his tightly closed left hand, he showed her a
thermometer. Temperature, Alvira, 112o
Normal temperature, about 1O0'l nave l
proved my love?"
"Alpheus," murmured the lovely girl, as
she placed her head on his shoulder, with
her lips at an accessible angle, ''you have"