Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1888-04-15
MRS. PEPLE ON THE SUBJECT.
Golden Words of wisdom for Young
and Old TO Ponder.
Ia tho Editor of the DiSb0fcR

anu Oiu ~ EOhNtH'
To tho Editor Of the Dispatch:
Last Sunday morning marion Har-
land" gave Us her views with regard TO
Choosing a Husband, " and while do
not presume to criticise her very appro-
pirate remarks on this question of vital
importance, do think there is much to
be said on the other side-yiZ., "ChoOs-
ing Wife"
II il be true that the father is generally
more reluctant than the mother to part
with his girls and that the mother so
often "becomes the young peoples
mediator with her irate lord it is, per-
hAps, because woman has always a
spice of romance in her nature, and
whatever may be the trials and scram-
bles of her welded life, she clings with
the utmost teRacity to the remembrance
of her youth.
The father, absorbed in the prosaic de-
tails of money getting, has scarcely time
for thought of his dear ones except that
lie is working for them. lie is almost
unconscious OF the flight of time ana re-
CARDS his daughters az mere infants when
they have had "beaux in their heads "
for years, and he suddenly pnlls up with
a Jerk when he hears that one OF these
"infants' wants to be married.
Not 80 with the mother. She is fully
aware of their progress. She sees her
self grown young again in these daugh-
tiers, and her eyes grow moist and her
heart very tender when she thinks of the
new old story.
But there is a mother whose sons will
soon be looking around in search OF
wives. Now, Just as the father shakes
his cage head over the daughters choice
because be knows men, &" 50 does the
earnest, loving mother feel her heart sink
when she hears that her son has found
"the dearest girl in the world " because
she knOUs DOD1Cn, knows them III all
their vanity, frivoity, and light-minded-
ness.
A very eminent physician once asked
me to tell him candidly what | thought
was the chief end and aim OF every
Young single woman. AS hesitated TO
reply he pressed me with the question :
ais it not TO get married 2" and | was
forced to admit that it was.
Far be it from me TO be unjust TO my
sex, or to decry matrimony. Thank
God there are many noble, pure-minded
women who equip their sons and
daughters with tue coat of knowledge,
the helmet of discretion, and the lance
of truth for the battle of life /; and a
marriage "not entered into unadvisedly
or lightly. but reyerently, discreetly, and
in the fear of God. is by far the hap
piest state known among men but | do
hold that the crying evil OF our day Is
the Stiffness of girls, and their too fire.
Quent lack of home-making qualifca-
tons. At school
when Education. in its nobler sense,
Gives place 20 Lesrnng's shallOwest pretence;
When haplegs maids. in spite OF wish or taste,
On vain accomplishments their moments
waste:
By cruel parents here condemned 10 wrench
Their tender thrOats in mispTOR0unctnS French !:
Here doomed 10 force. by uRrelenung KNOCKS,
Reluctant music from a tortured box
Here taught in inky shades ana figld lines
10 perpetuate equlvOcal designs;
Drawings that prove their titles plainly true,
By showing nature 'drGyn' and 'quartered'
too
their minds are literally crammed
with "ologies" and "isms for which
they will have no manner of use in after
life Children's parties which are elabo-
rate enough and late enough for grown
people must be attended, and before the
girls are fully grown their health is too
frail TO help mother about anything use
full.
The parlor or showroom is tricked
out with all sorts of feminine embroid-
cries and fancy-work. The floor above
is much palmer, and could we get behind
the scenes we would find the out-crop-
pings of adornment "grow small by de-
grees and beautifully less" like the
vegetation on the mountain side, until
We come to absolute barrenness at the
top, where the boys are stuffed away.
Could we peep into the sanctum sane
forum of our girl we might find bureau
drawers whose contents are bullying
over; trunks with lids broken and hang
ing little heaps of clothing lying abeut
where she hos stepped ont OF them on her
way to society meeting, leaving her
maid If she has one to pick up after her.
or, worse yet for her mother if she is
weak enough to allow such state of
things.
Starting out quite early in life with
view TO catching q husband, all the
energies OF the family are bent in that
direction. The mother in mistaken
kindness denies herself suitable apparel
TO heap all upon the marriageabe
daughters, thus thoughtlessly inculcating
a love of dress and seifish disregard
for the neither who bore them. At last
"cstch" appears, and after much
skilful msn@uvring the cards are out
for grand wedding. The trousseau is
bought, in many cases far beyond their
means, because Miss K. had such things.
and "thcy are 80 stylish, you know, and
long before II is time for the bills 10
come IN the bride goes tripping to the