Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-05-02

Tho nr-.o sc H. L.L,, ,aby King
Spain is an heir dresser e''i ''''o''
Chronicle. Telegraph.
A Vermont woman broken.oNO "o' Ja'
and her husband facetious' ''o'''y '"'''
her the ex-speaker.-Ex.
Joking about her nose, o. 'o""s " ''
= dy said: 81 had nothing to"s ~ "o VIZ
), sbaninr il Il was a hirtbJ birthday pre-
! on,n E.oo.,,. M..;,. zine.
A health journal says IN NO "ona
can walk in corset" OF vi oo''e'
impossible, for there isn't roo ioo''' ''o"s
.be onIv "s,ovsn :, -c,or Star.
J Barber-Have you hear ","'u u !"
bad scrape young Brown has mas got 'n''
Customer-Why, no; W ~"e" o''
you shave him last i-Epocb. .Poc"'
Tho .boemoter. of ph; Philadelphi
are on strike. They propd propose 70 pc
ovov 20 Tho loo, :, 81. - to win aw
their demands.-St. Paul Ht' iie'"'o'
A member of Parliament ,'"' o"oe Tue
in his nlace and solemnlv lily declared
"Mr. Speaker, l cannot sit ''' mere a"'
keep silent without rising an's anu '"y' III
a few words. ."-Ex.
A young man ought not to- W P''po'
too orocsfn,Iv Jfbo dos does the cir
may get the idea that he "e mas nat
more practice than she deems ee"'' oes''a
BILE. Somerville Journal u.
He-"Yes, Miss Ida, am am weode'
to my profession
She with far away eS eAPiess'oi
and n siob>-"How 7 envy wy your pro
fession." Then they both blF :" o'usn "no
change the subject.-Ex.
Naughty father-"What mat do you
saw Yon want 70 marry my my daugh
ter? Humph. What are y(re your pros
poets ?"
Suitor-"With her, srl N Mos' nat
ter;nr sba hoe oonsan,od ed.-Ex.
Mother Ito fashionable pie daughter
who is going out,-Clara 7 III, think your
hustle is altogether too large "se W look
well.
Do,ob,or-IL,ow o lamma but
YOU have no idea how SLIM slippery the
sidewalks are.-Ex.
A writer wants to know ~" iow
should young man enter SCI 'oo'e'y
Not having had much expert Pe''ence III
such matters. we cannot answ answer ueh-
nately, but think it would liid oe very
appropriate to enter walking >'ns on 'o'p
feet.--Oil City Buzzard.
81 be.rn ve done ri, NOR r;marrid agin,
Br'er Hamfat. Am dat so ?" 81
"Fo' fact, Br'er SQUAD. w. uonc
git married agin my conscienc c'ehce' LIS
leap year business slipped my my h'e'ho'
rance, an de widder lope one OIL me so
suddint wild de perposal dat '"' l ""''er
s'cumb n-Yo,tors Co,o,,o tie.
Omaha man-What was th as tn's wom-
ans congress at Washington f'on io'' any
howa
Female advoea,e-To .eo,r secure equal
r;oh,s for all ;rro.,o,,;uo g :, of sex.
Omaha man-Pm in favor (''or VI 'ha''
haven't dared to call NV soul soul my own
since was married.-Omaha pa''" oriu'
An art critic, going into n'o ga"efy
in a mild stote of ;o,nv;oo,;o, alton, to crit
else some pictures, sees hmse e'''"s''' !" "
glass, and taking out his note no'e oooA'
writes as follows First rooI' 'oon' he"u
of a drunkord NO s,o,ot,ro ure; has
great deal of character red 'eo "o'e
remarkably truthful. Must b" be"s' oe u por-
trait from life; think I've see seen 'nat
face somewhere. ."-Ex'
or "a, ,;oL ,Lo s,oo.a. II. who broke
that wheelbarrow," remarked '"rkeu NIL
dred's little brother. Wherein 'eieuPon 'ne
high school girl roprovingly rcnly re'narkeo'
You should endeavor to selec se'cc' from
your vocabulary more genteel "'eei 'erns'
1t would be vastly better to ~ ie''ark
that, in pugilistic encountc o'".cr WIN
The uncouth individual who in'o impaired
Inc usefulness Of the unicvcllcycle, you
could lamm the stuffing out of'' " "'"'
-Peck's Sun.
A restaurant, Leener II Ro, Rockland,
Me-, attempted to play joke doA' W TWO
,f his oustomers who we're in a. " hurry
10 catch q Roston bo., Acco,A Accordingly
he went into his back yard aud w" gave
nersso, ;,,;,o,;,,, % 60, steamboat
whistle. The men heard II, anc "''" er"o.
bng their hats and coats rus ia" on.
The perpertator of the joke JOKE cou'o
hardly stand for laughing uf's .n.,. nc
ba annened 70 th;nk ,h.t ho b.d had fright
sned the men awav before the they had
paid for their supper.-Ex. 4.