davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-11-24
A CONFESSION.
by W. J, HENDERSON,

DO you remember, little wife.
How years ago we tive together
Saw naught but love illumino life
In sunny days o. winte- wol her2
Do you recall in younger years
10 part u day was Dtt2r pain2
Loves light was hid in cloIds of tears
Iin meeting cleared the sky again.
Do you remember how We two
Would stare into each others eyes,
Till ali the earth grew heavenly blue
And speech was lost in happy signs?
Do You another thing recall,
That used to happen often then;
Row, simply passing in the hall,
We'd stop to smJ9 end Kiss ag'in?
DO you remember how sat
And, reading, held your hand in mine,
Caressing it with gen.le pat
Ono pat for every Blessed line7
Do ycu recall how at the play
Through hours of agony we tarTied2
The lovers griefs brought us dsmay;
Oh we rejoiced when they were married.
And then walked homewarl arm in arm,
Beneath the crescent mDonlet new,
That smiled on us with silent charm
SO glad that We Were married too.
All m, twas years and years ago
When all this happened that | sing,
And many n time the winter snow
Has slipped from olive slopes of spring.
And now-oh, nonsense let us tell
a fig for Tough OF maids or men!
You II hide your bushes? Ill not Well
We're ten Times worse than we were theh.
-CeHtHTH
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-11-24

WIN. KLAUsMAN, a 9-year-old New
York boy, has the distinction of pos,
sessing the hardest head known in that
city. The other day, while playing in
the street, he was run over by heavy
wagon, the wheels of which passed di-
rectly over his head. Strange to say,
the only injuries received were a few
skin bruises, Doctors consider it a re-
markable case.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-11-24

about the creature. The animal al
most invariably announces his pres-
encc bv roaring and humping his
breast and then approaches the hunter
in such deliberate fashion that the
man has abundant chance to bring him
down.
But. as vet. nv friend felt nothing
like fear. thouph the SIGHT of the life
less puide was enough TO disturb the
nerves Of onv one. He simnlv evan.
ined his rup to see if if was ali ripht
and then he scrutinized the pronn1
There was the trail so distinct thai
tbero could he no mistakinn # He
noted the direction if took. and he he
can cautiously following
Determined not to be taken by sur-
prise, Naepi Jre advanced with as much
stealth as nm American Indian. Look.
inc in advance. and right and left ne
had gone only connie of rods when
he was startled by the shrekinp and
CRYING of n female gorilla who had
csri Il the hunter first and gone scam
neyino AWAY To pive the alarm to her
mate
This female had small baby. which
WAS nursing at her breast at the mo-
mont she deserted the danger, She
went running and half leaning in an
nncouth but rapid manner, payino no
attention to the little one. for the rea-
son that there was no cause for doing
so. The baby threw its arms about its
mothers neck and held ON with sucn
tcnacitv that there was no shaking
It off.
Maeeiora br,urht his gun to his
shoulder and was in the very act of
pulling the trigger. when he reflected
that the male must be somewhere rear
at hand. and he was the one who was
to be fecrsd rltber than the female
which was making such haste to get
beyo1d siuht
So il proved.
The Epplishmm had scarcely lowered
his welron when the male, the one who
had slain the dog and the native but a
short time before. put in an appearance.
He came from the depth of the Jun
ole, announcing his cprroach by that
diabolcal roar to which have referred,
and by pounding his chest with vigor
that gave sound as if made by bass
drum. He was erect, but his walk was
very awkward. being, in fact, q waddle.
II wonder how it was kept my self
possession" said Jarvis, in relating the
incident to me-, "for imagination alone
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-11-24
The IiIiSS OF Ignorance.

She walked into fashionable shoe
store and said to the polite clerk:
"You may show me a pair OF walking
boots, No. 4. l used t. wear BIS, but
go in for solid comfort now
The clerk tried the boots, but they
would not 60 on.
Strange, she murmurcd, 1T must be
rheumatism. Try Is, b width. know
| can swim in them, but my feet are 50
tender"
While the clerk was getting them on
she said:
Il used to have beautiful foot, not
small, but such good shape. never
had small foot, but wore 2 sizes for
years, until | walked so much and grew
heavier"
Your foot is pecu lar shape, the
instep is so high-that is why you re-
quire large size" said the clerk, who
had no fear of Ananias before his eyes.
1--WE heard" she said, that the
Venus dee Medcechy wears No. 5, and
she is a model of true proportion. .
Exactly" said the clerk, growing
red in the face as he pulled and tuggel
to get them on. He had never heard of
dee Medeechy," but he was up to a
trick or two himself. After all, +" lie
said, these are too large. You'll lind
the As just right
He was only gone Il moment but in
that time he had erased 81 from the
inside of pair Of shoes and substituted
4B.
There, 1 thought it was. strange"
she said when they were ON and raid for;
why, these are just rs easy as my old
ones. 1 believe L could just as well
have had 3's after all" And the young
man withOut-a-conscie 2nt back TO
his duties with the air o! one well
satisfied with mself.-Detrou Free
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-11-24

master, who did not need to be told the
fact, for nothing but that terrific king
IF the Jungle could have slain such -
mngnilic, mt dog as Captain in that htir-
ricane fashion.
The canine, VITA more courage than
Judgment, mus have rushed directly
upon the gorilla, which cared no more
.or him than if he were kitten When
Captain came within reach of those
:5sistless arms the monster must have
,mote him as though he We're made of
oasteboard. Then, rs if in contempt,
le had caught up the crushed Eody,
md flung it with such fury through the
woods that it rose fully ten feet above
the heads Of the two when it passed
over tn III.
Maggioro saw that zigEas WIS
scared, though he stroye hard to con
zeal it. The fac caused my friend to
f,cl impatient. for, knowing the native
TO lie armed az we'll as himself. he
could not admit there was cause to be
frightened at anything which tramps
forest or jungle. \ marhsman, cool
and collected, ought to b. able to bring
down any qu0druped Of the Wilderness.
rom az 'AJl,l'"it - ii SI''ir'ci' "l'hoH'
o"1iSel - li'Ii'lii' ,., 1
4h"S5io ~ sl"Ne aH"' piS. I" .nSH"S'
VINO mace some an '"er III Ills own
to18ue Hiiitll my li!',ii' toull lo, ''i-
ierStdlh': ileo' "l'io''V ANY cAP''''ii,-
y'oii ol IA? l'.'iloSe IL h'T,,i,uI ioi " "Iei
.h pe'itns Ilno,1 rs '1i up'iS IN oi''
VIZ Nos5 lev iili!,''o ~ ~ ~ Z.
C,si4;iot NC I ''ai' ai.'S oto "'a
9lctse>t III ','c ieaes wiz! th'S S'yle 81
y ;to n"lt P,'i''
tito Peal. ~ VI ''i''iioo Mi'n ms ms
aile' unu .,gi, WIS i,q %! ny wn"' IN tiie
les"is "ouln VIC ~ he9 ~ i"le 'li'' ing
III; ~ va; T,'i'li "a Wv 80" a,1
nc III ; i''iiii.''i wa? no, LA uS
'onceriieo iliin?HIl u''' II loTNeu W lin
40 - "a" Soii-i'' . T''' .'t; En- a."
i'l"lice 10 pursue 'ac :"c'it e. " 1''.'o-
!1oi'' ti:H' ii ~ ~, me iluii1els
II. ~ oG'"li' nc n",' "irc'''y I'SPoSeo' u
sie 'loR, nii' uoH"VleaS "out't ie spec,
ny l'ce' " INC n'''i'e Will I'i' io''''o''
eu1: .
rrGi 81 T mi IoI" End '% hnH9r,pS fr
u,d,1 70 otto,.,, ti,n for,nida Mo orsot,,ra
LEI lisoo ~, ta, a I'LL La,o
- ( rn,ioT n4ha ',;''
Uo hnI not ,l,siaI ,it",'n tLor O
l,nJr aI ia I'o,. l,}l'O 7I,na,;,,., ,~bon
hn srIJnn1y forEJ bi,nsnif' faao IN faca
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-11-24
How She Kept Il Diary.

Near me on the fore deck sits a woman
whose who'll soul seems 10 be devoted
to the prosecution of a daily record of
events. She is writing in II flat black
book which her friends will know only
too we'll some day. 1t is her diary.
This morning this same woman sat
close to me while L was grinding out
column for Il newspaper. She wanted
to know what l was doing. She asked
me. | said | was writing. She hasn't
spoken to me since
| knew she suffered fightful tor
ments all the morning trying to divine
what | was writing. At first / guess
she, thought / must be writing n simple
business letter. Then as page after page
WIS covered she decided that / was
writing to my father or mother or q
dear friend. But as still my pen ran on
a satisfied look came over that inqulsi-
tive face. She had decided that / was
writing to my sweetheart. l know that
she longed to tel me That she had
solved the conmdrum, but / would not
gtvn her the chance.
| haYa said so much for her by way
OF eXcus2 for showing up her fraudulent
Ir3c iings III connection with that
formidable diary Of hers. She is sitting
near me again Just now, and, as l have
told you, is writing in n black covered
fiat book, her diary. Upon her
LAP beside the diary is corpulent red
and gi guide book. Twice | have
passed By her to be sure that my sus-
picions are we'll founded.
She is copying sentence after SEN
tcuce from the guide book, which is
open at the chapter on Paris. Thrifty
woman, she is preparing her diary
ahead, and to be sure of her facts she
i transplanting them fror. tie guide
book to her original record.
That is very safe way of complet-
ing IL diary. Not very honest, you
think? \ diary constructed with en-
tire honesty usually follows the pattern
of that Of the young woman whose re-
cord for seven days voyage was as
follows:
Sunday, sick.
Monday, very sick.
Tuesday, awfully sick.
Wednesday, do do
Thursday, do do
Frday-just elegant-ate dinner
Charlie +. certainly is Very attentive.
Saturday, Liverpo /.
Or like that OF another lady in which
there were only two entries, viz: First
day think | am going to die. Second
day-lm AFRAID | won't.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-11-24

MoNTGoLFIER's idea of the balloon
came upon him in peculiar way.
Being a dutiful husband, he was airing
his wife's dresses preparatory to going
to ball. He observed that the hot
air from the fire inflated the light ma
terials, which rose in a sort of spheroi-
dial form. This gave him the idea of
The fire balloon, which, being a large
paper-maker at Annanay, he forthwith
experimental on, and hence we got
aerial navigation.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-11-24

The old war vessel Kearsarge, that
sank the privateer Alabama, off Cher
bourg, France, on June 10, 1864, will
not be broken up, as was first intended
1T was reported that she could not be
repaired within the statutory limit of
cost to put wooden vessel in condi-
ton for service. 1t has been found,
however, that the engines built for the
Nantasket can be put in for less than
the cost of repairs of the Kearsarge's
engines, and this will be done. She is
now at the Portsmouth, N. H., navy
ward.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-11-24

A WEDDING feast of an unusually in
teresting character was served recently
in a Southern mansion. 1t was COM
posed of dishes prepared for the occa-
sion by relatives and friends, and was
crowned by the wedding cake, an ele-
giant specimen CT decorative pastry in
lilies and orange blossoms, the artistic
work of one of the brides friends,
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-11-24

FRANCIS NEWLY, coachman at the
Royal Hotel, Attleborough, England,
dreamed that he would meet his death
near a certain lodge gate. 1t impressed
him so thai he took every PAINS to
avoid the place, and even when once
he hal to drive up there he got lady
in the carriage to hold the reins until
the spot was passed. The other day
he had to go past the spot with a re-
markably kind and gentle horse. Just
in front of the gate something in the
road upset the cart he was driving, and
he was thrown out and killed.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-11-24

The LATEST man on earth has been
discovered in st. Louis. He was az
rested on the charge of idling, and his
name appeared on the docket as John
Smith, because he was too lazy to give
his name. When arrested he told the
officer he did not work because he was
too tired, aud in court he was too lazy
to speak. When asked if he was alive,
he replied he did not know.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-11-24

AN agent for a patent chmn went
down into Oglethorpe, Ga, few days
ago and stopped at Col Joe Baughn's
to sell him patent chum. The churn
agent was informed that Mr.. Baughn
was cleaning out the well, and if he
wanted to see him he would have to go
down. The agent got in the bucket
and found Mr.. Baughn at the bottom.
Colonel Joe bought the churn and
signaled the men at the top to draw
the agent up and to not let any one
come down unless it was a lightning
rod man.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-11-24

THREE lads at Drummond, England,
aged ten, eleven, and twelve years,
were caught by the police seeing how
near they could come to killing each
other with a shotgun without doing it.
The boys took turns, standing against
a sand bank with a mark over their
heads, and the others fired at the
mark. The boys liked the sensation of
hearing the shot whistle near them.
Before this they laid their hats and
coats in heap, and fired into them I'M
I'll they were riddled with shot holes.
The queerest part of it was that the
youngest boy had an official gun Ii
cenSa,
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-11-24

AZ Marscilles man who fanoied his
wife would look we'll in ostrich feath-
ers, entered a railroad truck wherein
were several birds just arrived from
Algeria, en- route to Paris. The poor
fellow selected fine specimen, and
was about to pull it out when the
ostrich kicked and killed him on the
spot
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-11-24

I'll" Investigation OF yellow fever in
Florida by the Fr,n h physic an dis,
patrhed for that purpose by the Gov
,.nneLt Of France, VII doubtless con
I'm tho tie ~ prevalent Co. several
''eari that cholera and yellow fever are
identical i'll or gin AMI in essence, and
re propagatcd by similar means. The
history of epidemics is as brief as it is
appall ny. Before the invention of
sanitary systems, before the discovery
If the vlluo of public as well as of
private cleanliness as a means of pre-
venting disease, the world was afflicted
II feelu n periods by vast plaques
Wh)Se cr.gin Mas attributed to the
IN ler o, nee of Deity, and for whose
aupp,o s:ol prayers We're publicly Of
fortd while panic perpetuated their
rlvagci. With the eXtens on of sani-
ta"y science the divine responsibility
4 cpidemics has declined. In South
era France, Span, and Italy, as in the
Oriental 60 utrics, epidcmics reappeaf
IN minishing force in proportion as
Il anl!ness has been introduced. The
lort' Ct the Southern States have
much to learn from the experience of
France in particular. It's energetic
and enl gIt nod Government la, made
sani' n ion compulsory; and, although
there may yet be cases OF imported or
sporadic pestilence, it is highly i'm
probable thai the great cities of the
feoublic will b. again devastated by
Epidemic d.scls,.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-11-24
Appropriate.

Gray-Green is remarkably tall and
thin, isn't he?
Black Qaughing)--Yos. We call him
he pedestrian contest"
G.-Pedestuian contest?
B.-Yes. A walking match, you
know.-BOStoi1 Courier.
THE production of the 5000, 600 acres
II cotton in Texas is l.5gQ. 900 bales.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-11-24

Is the natural
ihstincf, sf man to
desire &iahe s
Savage Of She
,c~'est order Of
intelligence" are
not aVurse to {
good supply o.
this W orl Il =
goods. r.! man
who does not care
for money is not
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1888-11-06
ssEWEEgiY SOUTH gESTVGElAs
War in the Church.

The times are propitious for con-
tentions. There are wars and rumors
OF wars in the air all over the world.
The church itself invaded and the
peace of the sanctuary broken by in
harmonious and acrimonious differ
ences of opinion.-That most con-
servative of our religious bodies, the
PRESBYTERIAN Church, after sailing
along for centuries over the stormiest
of seas without taking in rag of can
vass, now finds the violence OF the
gales so great that her sails are being
torn in ribbons and her masts threat
pned to be blown out of her decks.
Evolution is the last furious cyclone
that threatens to scuttle the good OLD
ship. The action of the South Caro-
lima Presbytery in denouncing evolu-
ton and forbidding its discussion has
caused a mighty schism in the Cal
whistle denomination of the Palmetto
State, and the leading ministers OF
that creed in that commonwealth are
kicking like quarter steers against
such action. They declare they do
not propose to be bounded by this de-
clsion of their State Presbytery. They
emphatically deny the right of the
church todogmatize to its officers and
members on scientific subjects, and
they still more emphatically deny the
right of the Presbytery to forbid the
discussion in public or in private oI
what is considered a mistaken utter
ance of the General Assembly. The!
sea nothing in the Bible that either as
serts or denies that God may hav
adopted some process of evolution IL
forming mans body out of the dust o
the ground. And they propose T.
have very lively time of it. The,
have appealed to the Synod of tn
State. Unfortunately for the Church
there does not seem any likelihood q
another Calvin arising to check tn
utierances of this modern Servetui
and even if the champion did appea
the wood of South Carolina in tn
present century isn't as good tn max
fires for roasting heretics as Genev
wood was in the Sixteenth Centur,
Exchange.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1888-11-06
LOUISVILLE MARKET.
FLouR, MEAL AND mLLsruFF.

FLOUR, MEAL AND hlLLsTufF'
FLouR-Round lots sell as follows: Choice
patents, Sc O0(D6.25; plain patents, S5.'Sgo'oo'
choice; s5.50CGS rs; plain fancy, 1925; No. l.
81. 75GSOO; extra family, 81 .5O(d4. ibucEwheat,
50. 25(a6 50 for Eastern; IS, 5og5.I5 for western
CoRsMEAL-Bolted, $3.50 D 100 10; kiln-drieu'
Mill FEED-we quote on arrival; Bran, $3.50
shorts, $40. SO; shipstuns, SIS.
GRAIN AND HAY.
wHKAr-we quote No. wheat to arrive; Sl.Oo
for red. -.
I6lsc; ear corn, % iOc.
OATs-No. new oats, 20ci
Mlr-Fsncy timothy, SIS choice, sl4
low grades, sl2
srRAw-S6 q ton.
PROVISIONS.
BACON Clear rib sides, &c. clear slices, g94c;
RTLK MEArs-Cear rib sides, 9I<c; clear
SUGAR-CURRD MEATs-Hams, II sC9l25sc; tor
large to small average; shoulders DC; break
LARD~Choice leaf. IL; in kegs and buckets,
l2c. ,,
CoFFRE-Rio. ordinary, lsCsl4c; prime, u %
l5c choice, l6SlIo; fancy, lsc; peaberry, lsc:
Lqguayra, Is; Arbuckle's Ariosa, sOs4c.
oLLssRs-Corn syrup, ssc sugar syrup, $40
$50 New orleans molasses, good, 2S@i5c.
RroE-5G6c for good to prime. .,,
SUGAR-Granulated, Sc; confectioners a.
ne; c. &c; powdered. s1Se; cut-loaf, SIC;
New Orleans sugars, B(d61So. 800
CAsDLEs-star, Nos. to s, 91<elOc q n.
STARCH-So q N.
soAP-German, 81 so q box OF 90 lbs for COM
mon, $3.50 for best; ivory, s4S6Tb for Ism
boxes.
COUNTRY PRODUCE.
BurrER-Choice country, l5(dlsc p n; low
grades, 7C9l2c; dairy, 2aGa5c; Elgin creamery
95c; oleomargarine, lHGlTc. 40
CHKRsR-Fnncy fully cream cheddar, lS1fg
lsc; twins, lSc; Young Americas, lSh(9l4o'
prime Ohio factory, ll@l21sc; skim cheese
PouLrRY-Hens, 81 90 p dozen; ducks, live,
81 .BOSd9 4 dozen; youngspring chickens, Sl'ZS
as 90 r dozen
EGGs-we quote at l6c g dozen.
TALLow-4c q 10.
BRooM- CoRN-sd3c for common to gooi.
GIssKNG-Choiee large. 81 GOGGLES.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1888-11-06
FULL OF FUN.


-Promptcr TO boy)-"Tell Mr..
Ham that his cue will be given soon
for the death scene; is he readyP"
Boy-"Ye5, sir; he's just got through
eatin' watermelon. M y. Sun
IL love you. doar'" the young man said,
''Oh, will you be my wifef"
The maiden dropped her modest head
And whispered, Bet your life!"
-SoRlerUille Journal.
-Omce Boy Ito Editorl-"There's a
female book-agent outside, sir, an
red-eyed man what wants to whip dc
editor" Eiitor-'.Well, show the
man what wants TO whip the editor
n."-Lifc.
What remarkable activity In
leather" said n young market re-
porter when the girls father helped
him down the front steps. Merchant
Trduelcr,
Lovers travelling on the railroad
never consider tunnel great bore,
however much it may be one-unless
the conductor lights the lamps just
before entering it.--Drake's Magazine.
-Tommy-"Ma, what are the tidesP
Do they grow like strawberriesP'
Mother-"What nonsense! or course
the tides do not grow like strawber-
ries." well, what does the minister
mean. then, when he talks about
stemming the Teras Syti'igs.
-Shc-"No, Mr.. De Dood, can not
be your wife, but | will be sister to
you.n Mr.. De Dood -''-Aw, thanks.
SO glad, don't you know. You are the
forty-scvonth sister, and the season
isn't half over. And Chollie Slim has
only got eighteen, don't you know.
Haw, haw Good morning. "-IVdSh-
iRgtOn Critic.
-Youth-"Pvc got some poetry
here I'd like to have you look over. v
Editor-"Yes, sir. Have you got your
license with youPn Youth-"My
liceuse?n Editor-"Yos; your poetic
license" Youth-"N-n-no. didn't
know | had TO have one" Editor
1--WE never look over any poetry with
out first soljlr tho poets license.
Good-day. "-T,mo,
IL had my picture taken to-day,
said little Christine. 81 crossed my
arms and leaned on chair and the
picture-man put my head in some
tongs." why, you must have looked
like a lump of sugar in sugar-tongs, B."
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1888-11-06
THE SOLE SURVIVOR.
Ho Makes II Bold Statement and Ruins
Ills Bright Prospects.

Ho Makes IA Bold Statement and Ruins
His Bright Prospects.
There might have been fifty OF us in
the waiting-room at the Erie railway
depot at Buffalo when n young man,
dressed rs n sailor and having q
serious cast of countenance, entered
and began to solicit aims on the strength
of having been wrecked and losing his
all. Indeed, he came near losing his
life, being the sole survivor OF crew
of eight men. Quarters and halves
were clipped in with bountiful hand,
but before | Clipped l felt it my duty
TO inquire:
what wreck was this?"
schooner Blazing Star, sir" he re-
piled.
THAT Just like some folks!" ex-
claimed a very pompous little man
with very high collar on. They
can't part with nickle without want
ing TO know all about it. >"
"When did the wreck occurP" /
asked OF the sailor.
"Ten days ago"
at makes heap Of difference
whether it occurred ten or eleven or
nine DAYS ago. sneered pomposity as
he walked around.
'On what lake?" | continued.
"Lako-Lake Eric, sir"
Don't you want to know the exact
spot to q foot?n snnered pomposity,
raising his voice so az to get crowd
around.
"Where was your schooner boundp
"From-from Cleveland toto Pitts
burgh,n answered the sailor as he
shifted about.
Are you sure"
"Of course am"
Hear him. shouted pomposity'
sin order to save a quarter he wants
TO make out that the poor man is a
liarr'
The sailor slid out without waiting
for any more contributions, and l
asked pomposity to step aside with me.
"Why, of course" he replied,
Though man who won't chip in to
charity is always an object of suspi-
cion."
"Where did he say the schooner
was bound?" l querried as we walked
away.
"From Cleveland to Pittsburg, sir"
Are you sure of it?"
"Of course | am"
"Wou, tell me how much dry land
she would have to sail over
He stopped dead still, opened his
mouth, rolled his eyes and removed his
hat. The case slowly dawned upon
him, and as he grasped the facts he
seemed to wilt away like cabbage
leaf. When he could wilt no further he
pleadingly said;
..Kick me hardl Kick with both feet
at once! Kick me all the afternoon and
far into night, and if there is any thing
left of me when you get through sell ii
for old junk, and make the price very
low.''-Dctroit Free-PreSS.