The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-07-07
The Omniscient Hotel Clerk.
From the chicago Herald.


| Now, that name" said the hotel clerk, run
| ming his diamond hilted finger down the register
| ana palSlng at the name of GUlDrOat. that
| name Is fraud. That man is travelling incog.
! and there is something crooked about him
WHY do think SO? Why, ! almost know
| tin fact, do know it intuitively. 1t is my
| business to De familiar with names pnd the der
| vntion of them, Now, there is no such name
| as GurlprOat. 1t is machine name, manufaC
| turcd for an emergency, something Ike the
| characters in Dickens nOves-the Venecrings
| FonSnapS, WeggS, Dorritts, Jaggers, NIcklebys
| and ChuZzlcWits. am obliged YOU know Ia
I be sharp in my business tell You he is fly
| takir from hytOWn. Ha lis q queer one, and
| you can bet high on that
| Now, there is a man." continued the hotel
clerk, poU ting to another Square-tc ed specimen
| Of callgIaphy, that man Jones, there. A @.
| Jones. hos all 0. X. There is no subterfuge
! about him. he comes in and planks down his
gripSack, deposits a roll of bills in the safe calls
Tor stylus, endorses the register, and there
you have it straight and fiat-footed. A. Q.
Jones $1,000 in his roll in the safe. He is man
who will do to tie up to. We have to be good
judges of human nature In this business tell you
ana are obliged to be teetOtally and strictly sharp
But Jones is solid with this house. He has been
here week now, and have advanced him $500
or $500 on his roll. "
You arc sure the roll contains money. are
your inquired the reporter carelesSly
sure. why, 1t IS an express package, sealed,
and the amount marked on the corner. Guests
often leave them with us for security"
Il should want to know 1t was all right be-
fore l loaned money on it, pursued the re-
porter.
That's where you would fool yourself.
That where you would insult guests and drive
trade away. But'-the sharp clerk spoke this
little uneasily-''just to show you what q
square man Jones is, I'll send up this bill and
the clerk proceeded to souni the loud timbrel
which summoned q bell boy.
Here. run up to So with this " said the clerk
While the bell boy was on his mission the sus-
plcions Gurlproat came up to the office to settle
his bill
That's he-Gurlproat, said the clerk form.
ing the words with his mouth without uttering
sound eight dollars and quarter-two days
and half.
Hey says the despised Gurlproat.
1.-Two days and a half-elght and u quarter, -
answered the clerk. winking at the reporter
Eight dollars"
''Eight?"
And quarter"
"AIl rght-correct,.' and Mr.. Gurlproat pro-
duced $40 bill. The sharp clerk spent five
minutes critically examining and testing the
same While doing so the suspected guest OBJ
served:
nc James Gurlproat Of Montgomery. Ala.
calls for me, please tell him | have gone to
Washington
The hotel clerk looked suddenly up and his
face was like circus poster gilded by the rays
of sunset.
Are you Congressman Gurlproat of Ala.
bama?' he inquired.
"Hey?'
Are you Congressman Gurlproat of Ala
bamafn
mo, am his brother. am Judge Gurlproat
formerly of the supreme bench
He had his change, and in another instant
the porter was obsequiously escorting him out
to a carriage.
Why, exclaimed the clerk Its singular I
happened to forget that Gurlproat family of
Montgomery. 1t just beats all. Funny, isn't
it, when you miss mans name"
The bell boy returned at this interesting
juncture Of the proceedings with the startling
information that a. Q. Jones had skipped bag
and baggage, hook, line and sinker; foot. horse
and dragoOnS. The clerk turned white. and his
finger shook like a splinter on a rail in the
wind, as he suddenly went down into the safe
after the express package He fiShed it uD.
tore off the end, and proceeded to shake out-a
generous wad of newspaper clippings, some of
1t gems of poetry, the balance choice extracts
from the humorous papers and medical read
ing notices.