Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-06-06

w I'LL d O6ODOJ DluSll anu dH GILL
barrassed laugh) ooh, only two"
1.-TWO children ?'
More frustrated than ever "No
only Allie and myself ~
Eyes, yes; see; just so; Of course;
quite correct" said the clerk. Nov
about the -four ?''
"Well to tell the truth, I don't know
anything about It. [ suppose a barrel
or two will do-the best, of course"
The clerk thought two barrels ought to
be sufficient And they went on with
the list. An order for a pound of each
spice made the clerk blink. Then the
husband reached nutmegs.
''Let me see," he said, stopping to
look seriously and stroke his chin wise
ly. 81 think" he said in contentious
tone, you may send me up about two
pounds of nutmegs. We're fond of
'em," and he looked at the clerk in a
nonchalant way
Eyes, sir. Allow me to take it down,
sir. Extraordinary order, sir. We
keep a very fine quality of nutmegs.
You are sure you want two pounds,
sir ?''
"Why, of course" said the other
sharply. 81 don't want to be running
over here every day or two Tor nut
megs.
III course, OF course That's right
sir. Very well, sir. What next, sir ?
There's horseradish. Have you any
nice, fresh horseradish ?"
ooh, yes, sir; the best, the very best,
sir"
'tWere they picked recently?"
"Were they"
eyes, picked. We're they picked
yesterday, for instance ?''
"Our horseradish comes put up in
jars
"Then you need't give me any. It
probably isn't fresh"
Clerk (sotto voce:) "No, but you are,
decidedly" and his hands seemed rub
bing themselves into nothingness.
NOW, then, send up some yeast-oh,
two or three dollars worth"
''But, sir, permit me-I'm afraid that
much won't keep"
''Well, that's very odd. Why on
keep ?' The clerk continued to rub
his hands, but said nothing.
"Now. butter-let me taste your but
ter. | always like to know what I am
buying
ghost of "a smile seemed to Turk about
the mouth of the salesman. "Quite
right; this way, please" and he led the
customer to the butter room in the cell
lar, his back hopping as be went, like
cats for very obsequiousness. There
were ten different grades of butter, and
the devoted shopper went through
them without pausing. When he had
tasted the last he said:
There, now, that's good table butter.
You can't fool an old buyer. I know
good butter when I taste it. Give me a
fI1h of hot - Tho o1orly ~
let something slip down his throat, for
he turned suddenly away and shook
violently, although he did not cough
any. When he had recovered he put
upon his order slip:
Twenty-Five TBS. cheapest cooking
butter 915 cents.
''Ah, = he said at length, ''it's a posi-
tive pleasure to wait upon gentleman
who knows what he wants-to wait on
an old housekeeper."
'Ah-ah-oh, well" said the husband
a fattered blush overspreading his feat
ures, ''all one wants is to start right in
1t only requires little sense.'
Precisely, sir; yes, sir. Anything
else, STRIP There was a good deal else,
but the buyer at last comprehended
that it might be well to economic.
You might send me over little let
washed ?"
''Oh, no, sir. It's never washed at
the store, sir"
"WelI, put in bar Of toilet soap, and
We'll wash it ourselves"
The above astronomical display repre-
sents the time which elapsed between
the visit of Mr.. Younghusband to the
grocery store and his arrival at home.
After he had greeted his wife he turned
to her mother and said with trium-
plant air
There, mother, I've done the mar
der was model of good sense and econ
omy.'
The old lady smiled. She had seen
men 60 to market before. The next
morning the old lady awakened him
with the information that there were
some wagons at the door. He dressed
and came out. Wagons! Great Scott
Three wagons and six men unloading
groceries. The servant was sitting in
the middle of the kitchen, dunn bound
ed. About her were piled packages Of
groceries. There were packages in the
pantry and packages on the back stoop.
He began to feel embarrassed. His
mother-in-law came upon the nutmegs
ny, Wnat,S mere Two pounds OF
nutmegs. as I'm an honest woman !
Bless the boy I've had one nutmeg
one, you Understandable I've used Tor
the last five years, and it isn't done yet
And all this yeast Why there's
enough to raise the mortgage on the
house. Lord What's that smell
st. Cupid That's strong pot of cook
ing butter
Mother" be said very meekly, ''if
it's just the same, [ guess you'd better
do the ordering after this"
In the WildS of Brazil
From the Boston Transcript.
DR.. Karl Won der Steinen has returned