The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1888-09-07

THE JOKER's BUDGET.
same Funny Things From Funny
Men.
w~dding Tour-After the Morn
.~serviee-An Explanation
Desired-A Libel.
.,-rR THE MORNING SERMON.
rohuny-oucbl Yah-r-r-r-oh J Yep
asd-d-don' take tn b-back Of ia :
tRhr,,sb, G-g-g-rh.l ! won DIDO u
s~s;n--f1w-wow-wowN
f.r~ndma-John William. your faith
=. ,eotl,er IL nigh on to 80 years old.
g, sbe worked well-sweep all her
ss..;ys youth. and the next time you
- lie giving her grasshopper in
- n Glove. duriag the solemn
pss- .e n the Methodist Episcopal
ssa.,-.b Won don't want to do IL tG'lip
e-sxiTe-swatD -P'sek.
s,ofxG THR0UGH.
vauug Lady Ito train boyl-i'm
~,sse through TO Chicago, and ] want
I Tram Boy-Do you live in Chicago,
ma'am2
T-sin Boy-Well. there's a book
.hst'lI suit you; dollar N half.
Youpg Lady--Iias II pleasant end
W ,.;a Boy-oh, yes. m: they is d.
xarsed IN the last chapter.-lfarptr's
Bdsag
rsED Up.
Tranip-can you help poor sick
Iady-sickl What is the matter
with you
Tramr-well. missus, il would take
loo long to name all my Affections.
fhink have every disease In the world
but the eotlt.
I.adr-weII, ] think you will get the
70 out here.
NO USE FOR HER.
She was a poor creature with a.
weird look on her face and thread
hare shawl thrown over her shoulders.
She vent to the Office Of the bank
president and asked:
sDon't yon want TO hire a scrub
woman, sir
"Tha-a-anks, no. drawled the presi-
dent. There's no work for you - or
for me either. The cashier has cleaned
out the bank 20 Thoroughly that We
are going 10 giyelip biz. 7"
NE WAS VERY WILLING.
"Sow. John, said his wife. as she
was about starting for the country,
4be very careful about drinking ice
water
"Maria, he responded reassuringiy,
but mthinkingly. II won't drink
drop OF water while you're gone.
DOUBTLESS.
eWbat did Jonah do when he rot
out OF the whale 2"
eTold some fish story, | suppose.
THE CAUSE.
Gazzam Hello, Cumso, YOU look
entirely tagged out. What's the
matter
cumso-oh. nothinei A weeks
rest viii set me up. just back from
my vacation.
HArfNg
Somewhere down East a married
pair were in the habit 81 airing their
differences audibly. la these spats
the vile, having the longer tongue,
was usually tho winner. The result
was made known in one case 90 an in
quiring neighbour (who asked where he
could find MIR McBlank) in these
words II don't know / guess he's
up taifs hatin' hissef. ~ Bastoa TraH-
sefipf.
faooT POSITIVE.
Woman kindly You say you are
very hungry, my poor man; that YOU
have had but little to eat for several
days7
Tramp (very earnestly Madam,
there & a wooden toothpick that has
lasted me nearly three days Epoch.
AIIHEt.
Mistress Ito new scryaut} Yes. /
know, Honorah, but what X your full
namef
Honorah- Sure. have nera, mum.
~ never was fun in nv .oIie. mum. -
Ncsr Uesf.
GOING,
Uh. husst,3, hustle. fare von weil,
Me- sick and tired OF your abuses
foyont hang back. you've got TO go,
Or toarnurc selfio other uses.
BOSTON INTRODUCTION.
Miss South Church Ito Miss Beacon
Hili) Ny dear, let me present Mr.,
Seolopax. president OF the Yale boat
club.
The President Beg pardon ah,
Miss Church, but my name Is Snipe.
Miss South Church. know. sir
but you viii pardon me II think the
Latin preferable LIFE.
NOT FIT FOR HArHING.
Couutryman Cat Concy Island II
wouldn't SO in swimming in such
burned water as that.
Stranger Why not2
Countryman (who has been shaking
his thirst Why. Jest taste Il.
suE DIDN'T SAY NAY.
'oh. do mol let the word he nay p
The lover cried in Voc;
"All RIGHT. John Henry" she replied,
1T shant II, nay, but no."
Harpcr's Bisar.
Az EXPLANAfIoN DESIRABLE.
He was doing very nicely in the par
lor, when solemn voice came
through the open window from the
porch
THAT young man makes me very
tired %
Don't I've alarmed, Mr. Sampson,
said the girl as hc hastily started up.
III Is oniy Polly, our parrot.
II understand its the parrot, he
replied. but would like g. know whC
taught her 20 talk
sNETXF.
An amusing story was this, told by
Ex-Governor Bullock OF Georgia. in 5