Morning journal and courier., 1888-08-15
AWFUL.

De Smith-"Hello, Travisl You look aw- fully cut up about something" Travis stYes, shaved myself for the first time this morning. g."-Burlington Free Press. Children, who had been cautioned not to tease their little brother Elmer, as he was cutting tooth, waited expectantly few minutes. Then Ned spoke up: 1T say, auni- ie, has he out it yet9"-Harpers's Young People
 An England street six year old miss, who has thus early evidently grown tired of work ing hard to be good, ended her little prayer thus the other night: "Please, God, make me good girl without my helpingl'-St.A .Albans Messenger.
 "Fur goodness sake, Mandy" screeched the elderly relative at the seaside, "you're go- in to put something more on before you go out, ain's you:"
 Certainly, auntie, :" replied Amanda, oorn- posedly; ''please hand me that hairpin. D. Chicago Tribune.
 The heroine of story now running in 8 southern paper is made to say: s'I will do the washing this time, mother, for it is the great est of delights to me-" This is wide de- parture from the realistic in fiction; in fact,
 it reaches the pinnacle of the ideal at a bound. As work of the imagination the story will take high rank.-Indianapolis | Journal.
 Caller-ssI see that the house next door is | closed, Mrs. Hobson. Have your neighbors | gone to the country?' Mrs. Hobson-"Oh, h, | I haven't the faintest idea. I never give 8 | thought to my neighbors; but I imagine SO.
 An express wagon called yesterday and took | away four trunks, two packing boxes, seven ! satchels, and baby carriage, and it was the shsbbiest lot of luggage ever saw!'-Time.
 Lady, angrily, to tramp at the back door You can't get anything to eat here. l Tramp, politely beg your pardon,
 madame. don't want anything to eat. I | have just eaten @ good dinner at the house
 small cup of coffee and cigarette you l would place me under many obligations Washington Critic.
 1 He was reading 'The Prisoner of Chillon'' l to her. She listened eagerly to the sad story 1 as told in Byron's magnificent verse, and her golden hair dropped lower and lower, while she also wept. At last the story ended, and ! she looked up with sigh and quivering lip. "What is the matter, Mabelf' asked her lover tenderly. 'Oh, Herbert" she ex- claimed, sstell me why did not the poor man get some one to give bail for himF'-Chicago
 News.
 She was rather an ancient maiden and hel
 companion was one of these nice young mer who are always ready to sacrifice themselves
 on the altar of chivalry and devote their tim to the wall flowers who seem most in need 0
 attention. The couple were sitting on ho
 tel varanda at Atlantic City, resting from the
 exertion of dancing in warm weather, anG
 she had taken advantage of the leap yea privilege An expression of pain passed
 over the nice young mans features, but ht
 was equal to the occasion. s'It cannot be,
 he sold sadly but kindly-sit cannot be, bu but will always be son to u."-Phila
 delphia Record.
 Two brothers, William and Stsephen Grant
 lived on contiguous farms in New Brunswick
 William had Q lawsuit with a man named
 Somers and defeated him. Somers started
 to drive home from town one day and over' 1 took son of his enemy. The boy was un.
 known to him. Although knowing Somerl
 well, the boy asked for ride, resolved to bt
 very careful to hide his identity. After driv ing short distance Somers said, "Let's see you're Grant, ain't you2 Whose son art you!" The boy, realizing that the crisis had l come, resolved to be equal to 1t and answered 'Im Uncle Steve's son." am sorry to add l that the man had so little sense of humol
 that he put the boy out of the wsgon.-Bos. ton Transcript.