The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1888-11-14

w Nrumor that the Govern
kylH ment has offered $1,000
600 for the discovery of
such device. No contradiction cor
reefs the impression any more than it
does the equally preposterous delusion
that somebody has offered to pay 500
for |, 200, 900 postage stamps. When
each new claim for perpetual motion
arrives Commissioner Hall merely
writes back: please file working
model and your application will be con-
sidered." This always puts stop to
it, for the model never works.
Il Application was made some time ago
from Kentucky for patent for tying
a weight of specific gravity to a cows
tail to keep her from switching it when
you are milking her."
An applicant for gas patent pro-
poses to make gas by heating air red
hotl"
A funny patent, for which there is
not an extensive SALE is spiral spring,
for mules feet, to elevate the animals
eight inches from the ground. This is
for use only in war, and enables how
itzer to be fired from mules back
without breaking his legs by the recoil.
1t is said to fill mule with astonish-
ment, and to make him seasick.
Another patent, actually granted,
somewhat analogous to this, is for stills
for horse. They are adjustable, and
can be fastened on two legs of horse
on the same side, $50 as to pillow with
the animal on a side hill" The opinion
of the horse regarding the value of this
invention is not on file.
The agricultural contrivances are
very numerous, and some of them are so
ingenious as to suggest that the inventor
must have sat in the warm corner of
the fireplace and thought about them
all winter One farmer has utilized
horses step by fastening q corn-planter
to each of his fore feet, SO that in driv-
ing him across the field he will punch
the seed into the ground and cover 1t
at every step all day. for his boots are
filled with corn.
A patent exists for mounting house
on wheels so that it may be turned
around on circular track, the benefit
being that every part of the residence
is thus alternately brought to the front
gate, and the sun, which is VIGOROUSLY
limited to a semi-circuit, is made to
shine into every window in spite of the
laws of the solar system.
There is patent for putting springs
under house to keep an earthquake
from tumbling it down-by the in
ventor of the howitzer-resisting mule.
There is a patent for sinking a steam
boiler so deep into the earth that the
great heat would generate steam for
use on the surface, thus avoiding ex-
plosions and saving fuel. 1t Is the
opinion of some biologists that suffi-
Gent heat for this would be obtained at
a depth of about three miles.
Worthy of notice here is the scheme
for supplying cities with milk. The
inventor proposes to lay complete
system of pipes, fill them with water to
keep them pure and cool, and let in
milk at the end
An application was made for patent
for "a device to enable dog to turn
short corner" but it is yet hung up in
the Patent Office on account of doubts
of it's utility The inventor said he had
noticed that dog, in turning corner
rapidly, always projected his tail in an
opposite direction, striving thus to
overcome his momentum. This claim
ant claims palmleaf fan so tied to a
dogs tail that it will operate vertically,
and thus enable him more readily to
alter his course.
A curious patent has been granted "to
enable trains to avoid collisions" 1t
provides that one train shall be sup
piled with n prolonged inclined cow
Il IL
other train, appearing unexpectedly,
instead of tolescoping will run right up
ON the top of it and over on the level
track at the other end. The inventor
is now cudgeling his brain to decide
which train shall be the climber and
which the clumb.
Another curious patent is stupen-
dous swing, to be elevated above the
railroad depot, containing such passen-
gers "a desire to take the next express
train which does not stop. When the
tram is sighted the swing is oscillated,
and when it goes laundering under
meath the swing moves gently in the
direction the tr in is going and quietly
spills the passengers into the cars.
This invention has not been tried
A new foot-warmer that attracts some
attention in a showcase is a forlled rub
Der tube that runs down over the chest
and down the pantaloon legs and into
the boots. The method of conveying
ca,oric to the lower extremities is the
reverse of complicated. The wearer
simply blows into the top of the tube.
The Siberian Mammoth.
1t must not be supposed that our