The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-06-13

"l eS, IN GG, iii CeFlalu.
sIn that miserable, wretched, decep:
tive, useless thing in the trousers called
a watch pocket?" :,
"Why-no-Tom. I didn't-I-I-"
She burst into tears, and sat down
with her apron over her face. stalked
into another room, and banged the door
very hard. 1 opened it softly in less
than three minutes, and-well, we made
it all up again, although we were still
very sober over our loss.
NV wife said she would do without a
great many things that she never did do
without, and I tried to take an optl-
mistic view of the affair, and said meekly
and untruthfully that l supposed it was
all for the best. To make matters a
little worse, drew from my pocket a
large, square, elegant.looking envelope,
and said to my wife: :,
"And here's an invitation to the much
talked of Smythe- Durant wedding next
week, and I really would like to 60.
I've known Helen Durant all her life,
and I like her, if 1 do despise that snob
of a George Smythe she is going to
marry"
s'l'm so sorry" said my wife con-
tritely, "anl here we might have gone as
we'll as not if hadn't sod your only
black suit. 1t did look real nice, and
quite as good as new, dare say, by
lamplight. could have worn my we'd
ding dress, and we could have made a
very decent appearance. 1t is too bad -
She began crying again. I said l
would 90 away and never come back II
she didn't stop. Suddenly she jumped
to her feet and said excitedly:
"Why, Tom. how foolish we are! 1t
isn't at all likely that old Isaacs has sold
the suit yet, and it may be that ne hasn't
looked in the pockets. Let us hurry
right down to his store and buy 1t back.
We can tell him it was mistake, as it
truly was. Let US hurry right off,"
We reached the uninviting store of b.
Isaacs, dealer in secondhand and misfit
garments. in about fifteen minutes, but
the suit was gone!
"l hat Just sold it no more as dree
minutes and a halluf ago. 1t was not
worth much. makes me no money on
dot suit. 1t wood not Wit q man dot ways
any ding at ALL"
/ raced angrily out of the store.
"WelI," ! said, as we walked moodlly
homeward, "I'm not the only hundred
pound six-footer in this town. That's
evident. I'll keep me eyes on the other
living skeletons, and if find the one
who has my trousers, Pll have them back
again by fair means or foul"
l kept a sharp lookout for lean men
during the next week, and was gratlhed
to discover that there were fifteen or
twenty in the city as lean as myself, but
all of them were saved the humiliation
of being informe by me that they were
wearing my clothes, humiliation that
might not, perhaps, have been lessened
by the offer of twenty-five that intended
making for their return.
AS the eveninn for the wedding before
referred to drew near our desire to at
tend it increased, and at last l said to
my wife:
"Well, I just cannot afford to get me
another full dress suit that I might not
need again for ten years. And I'll stay
at home forever and wear rags and tags
before I'll wear a hired suit. But we
can at least go to the church, 1t is to
be a church wedding, you know, and !
can wear my ordinary business suit and
overcoat to the churchill I don't find
the man who has my clothes"
But 7 did not find him, and we went
earlv down to the church that we might
be first there, and our lack of festive
garments less noticeable.
eff it wasn't for Helen wouldn't 60
at ALL" I said as we sat in the church,
awaiting the coming of the bridal party; A;
81 cannot endure Smythe. He thinks
himself vastly superior to me and makes
me sick with his TX about fashions and
best society and all that. 1t makes me
so mad to be told as often am, that he
looks like me. I know I'm long and
lank. but he" >
"Sh-sh. shl" whispered my wife;
sthey're coming"
"With such flourish of trumpets," I
whispered in reply.
Down they came in the broad center
aisle-five bridesmaids with gorgeous
pink and lavender and blue and cream
and cardinal trains; five "best men, in
ugly black garments, and, last of all,
Helen with yards and yards of white
satin and tulle and lace: and Smythe in
i clutched at my wife's arm and al-
most shouted in her ear:
"He has on my welding suit, as sure
as you're living woman"
Mary Jane gave my arm an awful
pinch in return and an. admonishing
poke in the side with her fan.
&c, my DEAR" I said, as we walked
hcmeward after the ceremony, 81 am
not mistaken. Those were my clothes.
would know those trousers if I saw
chem on q Hottentot. Didn't you detect
:::.int odor of gasoline as he went by
our pew2 I did. To think, my dear,
that 7 cannot 60 to the most fashionable
wedding of the season because the bride
or ON has on my clothes! But if I had
gone, he'd have had to stay at home,
wouldn't he2 Lean as we are we
couldn't both have worn those"
"How perfectly ridiculous you are!"
interrupted Mary Jane. 81 don't feel
at all sure that they were your clothes. I"
"And, if they were, how are we going
to get that tifty-dollar bill out of that
pocket"
ave didn't get it. But they were
my clothes. I gave old Isaacs a dollar
for telling me that he had sold the suit
to Smythe, who had sworn Isaacs to
secrecy on the subject. He looked
heart. broken and turned green when I
told him about that tifty-dollar bill.-
Detroit Free Press.