Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-07-12
THE GOOD OLD TIMES.

The GOOD OLD TIMES.
Farmer Blewitt was little, driedRp
irascible man, and he used to wear red
comforter around his neck and red fan
mel ear-lappers on his plug hat when he
went TO meeting in winter. He was al
ways ready to argue that these modern
times were awfully bad, and that the
good old times of a hundred years ago
were Just right. He would decry inven-
tion and improvement and say that the
world would be better without them. He
took a newspaper on purpose to count
the murders recorded in ii and tell how
bad the world had grown. He would
stand for hours on a corner in the village
and retail his deductions on the present
and his regrets for the past.
One day he had whipped the minister
in argument, and as he had had his din
ner and the minister had gone away mad
and the women were at work in the
kitchen. he tipped back in his chair, drew
red silk handkerchief over mis- head to
keep OFF the flies and went to sleep. He
had not slept over five minutes before his
son John came in and said:
"Come, father, we must get at that
piece of wheat and cut it."
Blewitt got up and yawned and follow
ed his son to the barnyard, where two of
his sons sat on a log filing a couple of
sickles.
"What in the nation are you boys do
ing with those old sickles?" said
Blewitt.
One Of the boys looked astonished and
said: "Doin'? Why, we are gittin' ready
to cut the wheat"
BIewitt stared a moment and then said:
why in thunder don't you hitch on to
that reaper and stop foolin' with them
sickles?
The boys looked at each other in sur
prise, but said nothing. BleHitt ran to
the shed, but there was no reaper there.
He came back. The boys had got over
the fence and were on their knees reap
ing the wheat and carrying it in gavels.
'Boys," said Blewitt, "what do you
mean by this foolishness? Where is that
reaperp
Charley, the second boy, looked at his
father pityingly, and then tapped his
forehead and looked over to John, who
nodded and looked sad.
"Why, darn it," said Blewitt, "you can
never run them bundles through thresh-
in machine"
'Threshin' machine" said Charley;
''why, you know as we'll as 1 do that
shall have to fail this wheat out morn
ings and nights while going to school
this winter. What ais you, father?"
BIewitt, as we said, got mad easily,
and now he just hoped up and down and
said:
'Flail it out! 1t must be tAreshed
ready to ship on the cars next month"
Gears, oars?" said John, 81 don't know
what ails you father, or what you mean.
l know / shall have to team this wheat
down to Albany and sell it for what it
will bring. Here you come out talkin'
about reapers and cars and threshin' ma
chimes, and darned if | don't believe you
are crazy, so now"
Blewitt Einched himself to see if he
was awake and STROBE angrily to the
house. As he approached it he heard a
roaring and rumbling like wind, and he
looked into the kitchen and there was his
wife spinning. Who,o-o went the big
wheel, and Blewitt sank into a chair and
yelled:
''New, Maria, what under canopy are
you doin'?"
"Doin'?" said his wife, "Why spinnin',
OF coarse. I must get out forty yards of
pressed flannel for me and the gals"
Blewitt looked down at his legs and
saw them encased in full cloth of coarse
texture, ana the seat of his trousers he
felt reached clear up to his shoulder
blades, and the legs were as wide as two
bushel sacks.
SWELL I'll be darned," was all he said.
Dreamily he sauntered out again TO the
wheatfieId, and John hailed him:
"Father, if you amt goin' to help cut
the wheat, suppose you yoke oxen and
go up to the woods and draw draft or
two of logs for wood!'
Blewitt was composed, but he said: Il
had intended TO burn coal in the sitting
room and psrlor, and not cut much
wood"
'Coal, coal!" said John, argrily; ''now
see here, father, don't want any more
of this foolish talk. am goin' to git a
doctor"
Blewitt began to think he needed one
himself. Here his boys had never heard
of reaper or threshing machine or
cars. He felt of his full cloth trousers
and groaned. On the lounge at the
house he laid himself down and tried to
calmly think things over. When the
doctor came he called for pail and bar
ed BlewiJt'sarm. He took out his lance,
and then Blewitt groaned again.
81 must take gallon of blood" said
the doctor, land then he will calm down
and be all right"
Don't you know bleedin' was played
out fifty years ago?" said Blewitt
''How he wanders," said the doctor,
and plunged in his lancet. Blewitt faint
ed. When he came to himself he heard
one of the girls talking about an artist
down in the village whe took profile
pictures with a spindle as natural as
life.
''What do you want of such blamed
pictures as that?" said Blewitt from the
lounge. ''Why don't you go down te
Takem's at Albany and git photographs! 7
photographs" said the whole family
what funny names he gets OF In hi
crazy fancy"
Bewitt was 100 weak TO argue, and ID
seemed TO be somehow out OF sympathy
OF knowledge with all mankind, so he
Just lay still and watched the girls ge
supper. He noticed that the ire-boarl
was down and a fire was built in the fire
place. kettle was on the hearth and
was covered with live Goals. Soon h,