The National tribune., 1888-02-23
"THE LATE WAR"
Ing the Whole Time He was Never OF His Farm
Liar from Way Back.


ing the Whole Timo He Was Never OF his Farm
A Liar from Way Back.
IM. Quad in Detroit Free Press.l
We had stopped at farmhouse to get drink |
of water and rest the horses bit, and as / saw |
that the door was held open by cannon ball I
lying against it presently asked Of the old |
farmer:
You were in the war, OF coursep
'' Yes, / fit from first to last" he replied. |
!" You mean the late war, l suppose"
''Yes"
"That's the one mean. / wasn't in the !
Mexican war, nor the war of 1912, nor yet the |
deceive you, but | won't do it. Mover told .
lie in my life"
"Were you in many battlesP
"0ver q hundred. | could lie about it and
say over two hundred, but won't; Insyer ex-
aggerate bout anything"
Ever wounded?"
Fourteen times, sir.n
Is that possihle2"
"Reckon it is, sir. Some of the fellers around
here would tell you they had been wounded
thirty or forty times but that isn't my style.
was hit just fourteen times, and ! don't pro-
pose to add to the number"
You were lucky not to lose leg or an
arm"
"Yes, I was. I could lie to you and say I
had, but won't do it. / hate a liar"
What prominent battles did you take part
in2"
"Do you mean in the last warp
eyes"
Because that's the only war was ever in. I
never tela thing can'tswear to. What prom
inent battles was l in 2'
"Yes"
"All of 'em of course. That's what enlist.
ed for-to be in all the prominent battles. /
could lie to you and say I wasn't in any of 'em,
but won't do it. 1 never have anything to
do with liar"
What was your hardest fight ?"
In the last warp
"Yes"
Between the Yanks and Rebs?"
dyes"
81 couldn't hardly say. Some folks would
say this or that WAS the hardest; but l was
brought up by q religious mother, and 1 can't
be deceiver. / simply fit and fit in each one
and when got through had one ofthe boys
take towel and wipe the blood Off"
:" You must have killed great many YAM
KEGS. What do you place the number at tP'
g Yankees in the last warp
eyes"
"Not in the Revolutionary war;"
"No"
"Well, at about three thousand"
"Noaw
"That's what said, stranger Some of the
fellers around here claim to have killed from
seven thousand to ten thousand, but can't do
it. 1tg0es against the grain. | couldn't look
you in the face and say over three thousand.
"Did the Union soldiers know what a terror
you were?"
"Union soldiers in the last war;"
eyes"
War of the rebelionP ?"
"Thats the one"
Z" / reckon they did, sir. I could lie to you
md say | reckon they didn't, but l know you
want it straight. My father lies buried right
across the road, and I'd look purity telling lies
| in the shadow of his tombstone
| "Were you ever taken prisoner2" l asked,
after short silence.
Prisoner of war;"
! ayes"
"In the Mexican WARP
| No; in the last war"
| "Never, sir. Some Of our fellers around here
are allus telling how many times they were
taken prisoner, but won't lie to you. You look
| honest and Pm going to tell you the truth. 4
liar may get along all right for few years. but
! he's tTipped up at last.
You must have come out of the war Colo
mel, at least"
! "This late war;"
"Yes"
$50 L did. Yes, won't deceive you. /
could lie and say / didn't but you'd stop at my
son-in- laws up the road and find cut the truth.
It's much more honorable
/ is that cannon-ball shot st you from q
| Yankee cannon? 2"
In the last war;"
eyes"
Yes, it is. 1 could just as wen have said no
but I wouldn't do it. 4 feller who'd lie about
cannon ball would fire house in the night
time. Yes, that ball was aimed right for my
left eye by Yankee. | didn't blame him, ot
course, for he was there TO fetch me if ht
could"
But it didn't hit your"
" Which,"
'sThat cannon-balI, fred by Yankee in tn,
late war-net in the Mexican nor Revolution
airy war"
mo it didn't. Some fellers around her,
have got the big-hesd, and are telling hoS
many cannon-balls hit EN- ia the left eye, but
/ can't do it. No, sir. That ERE ball simply
knocked my hat of and killed seven men be
hind me. You are talking about the late wRz
ofcourse2 ?"
Yes"
Because I never ft in any other war, and
amt going to say did. 1 could go on ant
lie"
At this moment his wife came in from tn
kitchen and interrupted:
Ezekiel, what are you talking about?"
90 Bout the war;"
Which war;
! Inc ldSG one.
J And what did you know about it?"
"Mo2 Why, didn't fit into it?"
"No, street. You were never off this farn
the hull timeI"
81 wasnt2"
No, sr!"
Well, then, wasn't. I could go on and Ii
about it and make these gentlemen believe a
and fit to the last ditch, but that amt my way
A man as would lie would steal hogs and
But we got into the buggy and drove OF.
Bilious Outlook.
Teras SQgiags
prominent.ex- member Of the Texas Legi.
lature, who is simultaneously a chronic inebri
: ate, entered the Office of an Austin doctor VIII
{ is remarkable for his candor.
: "What can 1 do for you to-day, Colonel9"
t@T ara sufFarinp from biIiousnas=