News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1888-11-22

| And ribbons a-rustlc,
She cOaXes q curl.
With q whoOp and bustle
Come the boy and the girl
WORK OF ART.
Caller-What a very elegant clock you
have on the mantel, Mrs Hobson
Mrs. Hobson-Yes, Mrs. Hendricks.
1 value it so highly; it was a present
from very dear friend of mine In Eu-
| rope.
Caller-It is indeed wonderful piece
of work. As it is getting so late, l
really must be going.
Mrs. Hobson-Oh, don't be in hur-
ry, Mrs. Hendricks; think the clock is
fast. (To Bobby.) "Bobby, run around
the corner to the Chinese laundry and
get the correct time. "-Basar.
IN CHICAGO.
C.-Have you heard about Jones9
D.-No; what is it?
Something very mysterious. He has
disappeared with upward of 100000"
"What is there mysterious about
that2 1t happens every day"
''But, man alive, it is his own money
that he disappeared with"
Incredible! Incredible !'-Sitftings.
A MODERN INSTANCE.
"Madam, are you woman suffragist2"
"No, sir; haven't time to be"
Haven't time2 Well, if you had the
privilege of voting, who would you sup
port 2"
"The same man I've supported for
ten years"
"And who is that ?"
''My husband. "-Ne5rdsbaStateJ0urnal.
GOING DOWN STAIRS.
Editor of Tecas SJtings--In going
down stairs is it etiquette to precede or
follow q young lady TX. Y.
Answer-You should follow the lady,
but in the case of the young lady's
father it is sometimes better to keep
pretty well in advance. Sittings.
A SISTERS PRIVILEGE.
"Every rose has its thorn, you know,
Mr.. Willbe," remarked Miss Everglade,
as she refused him after years court
ship.
"I know" was the stricken mans re-
ply; "but roses don't eat carmels, go to
the theatre and wear jewelry, and I
think I'll make my next venture after
about twenty years meditation. Time.
AN INCREASE IN VALUE.
Mr.. s. U. Berb-Want six dollars for
your pup, Mac? Why, only yesterday
you told me the price was five.
McKaynine-Oi know it, sor; but the
baste is only just afther eatin' dollar
bill I dhropped lasht noight; bad luck
to himi-Puch.
SOMETHING no RE pporrD or
Minister TO Bobby So yesterday
was your sixth birthday, was it, 15obny-s |
Bobby with pride)-Yes, sir.
Minister-You seem to be proud about |
it, Bobby.
Bobby-I am; pas got to pay full
fare for me on the street cars now
Neao York San.
HE SHOULD HAVE FAITH.
"No, Mr.. Sampson, it can never be
I can only be sister to you.
He painted, and said brokenly:
"Only sister, Miss Clara2"
"Yes," replied the girl, "only Sis
ter. / must have time, but it shall be
sister of hope. Call again on Wednes-
day night"
ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD.
Mrs. Oldgold-I shall never speak to
her again as long as 1 live. l met her
to-day, and she said point blank, "Why,
when did you get to town2"
Mrs. Kettletas-I see nothing out of
the way about that.
Mrs. Oldgold-But the unladylike
thing put the accent on the Y0h.
POOR PAY.
Magistrate Ito Chinaman)-What is
your complaint against this young man ?
Chinaman unable to collect laundry
bilD-He too muchee by-and-by.
IT WOULD BE NEEDED.
"I would like to have little money
this morning, John" said the wife, who
was about to start down town. 81 need
O few chairs for the dining room"
"All right. Maria" said the husband,
looking up from his paper. "Here's
80"
81 have found O place on Bargun
street." she went on, as she put the
money in her purse, "where they are
going to sell some nice ones to-day at
auction"
''At auction7 Hold on moment,
Maria. Here's $40 more. "-Chicago Tri-
6atne.
COLLEGE FARMING.
elbow are you getting along with the
experimental farm z" asked member of
the Board of Regents of Western ag-
ricultural college of the president of the
in stitution.
"First rate," replied the president;
wheat all killed up and calves taught |
to drink sour milk. I'm having trouble |
with some of the students, however.
They claim that it is too hard work for
them to dig the great holes necessary in
planting the pumpkins"
"Fire 'em out, professor, fire 'em out"
returned the regent. eff they kick on
that, what will they do next fall when
they have to dig the pumpkins with |
maybe fifteen or twenty in a hill p
Time.
BRIGHT YOUTH.
"Johnny, I hope you are agreeable to
your fellow pupils at the new school,
and try to make them love you"
"Oh, yes, ma I've licked the usher,
smashed the ht d-moster's window, set
off fire-crackers in the school-room, and
hide the teachers pens every day. All
the fellows like me-"
FALSE RUMoR.
Brown Ito Dumley)-I hear, Dumley,
that you refused to drink to the health |
of young Blivins the other evening.
Dumley (emphatically)-Well, that's
not so, Brown. Do look like a person
who would refuse to drink to the health
of an honest man9
Brown-No, you don't look like per-
son who wouId refuse to drink to the
health of any man.-Epoch.
ON THE HUNDREDTH EVENING.