Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1888-04-28
HUMOR.

HUM0R.
ALWAYS at the front-the hired girl
SHOULD be put down-a new carpet.
SHADES of our grandmothers-oi1
calico.
A coUNTER-sTATEMENr - at wiz
wash"
aWHAT kind of tobacco, is this p
asked the customer; @long cut or fine
cut 2" Connecticut, replied the dealer.
Harrington Free Press.
HAND in hand the milkman goes
With the Prohibition lout,
For both delight in tuneful flows
OF the gurgling water spout.
-Teras Sytings.
SUNDAY School Teacher-How did
Daniel happen to be in the lions den ?
Bad boyle started out to buck the
tiger and got in the wrong room.-Ar-
cola Record.
MANY man who thinks he bears a
great enterprise on his shoulders is
simply round-shouldered from carrying
q large load of self-conceit. = Shoe
and Leather Reporter.
WAITER Ito departing guest-D' you
Know, sir, That you remind me torciDly
OF the Spaniards at the capture of
Grenada? Departing Guest-How so ?
Waiter-You give no quarter.-Life.
MAGISTRATE ito witness)-Do you
know the nature of an oath, Uncle
Rastus? Uncle Rastus-I reckon I
does, yo' Honah. Ise owned q balky
mule for foahteen ya'.-NeW York
San.
The New Haven newspapers are adj
vertising an Exhibition of old masters"
in that city. Probably the senior MEM
bers of the Yale faculty form the nucle-
us of the collection. - Washing tom
Star.
"JUsT think, Laura, what happens!
Here is a proposal from the wealthy
owner of an immense menagerie, and
he assures me that now he is in want
of nothing more but me!"-Fliege,ade
BlGetter.
ToBACCoNIsT customer-The figure
of the Indian is all right and true to
nature, but I don't understand why you
put that bottle of rum in his hand.
Sign sculptor you've never
seen live Injun, boss.-ISd-Bits.
Miss CHURcHMAN-O, yes, I always
deny myself in Lent. I give up cards,
music, frivolous reading, and unedify-
ing conversation. Now, what do you
give up? Mr.. Mundane (refectively)
l think I'll give up calling here. -Acci-
delt NeaDs.
GEORGE" asked the teacher of
Sunday-school class, whom, above all
others, shall you wish to see when you
get to Heaven?" With face brighten
ing up with anticipation the little fell
low shouted: "Gerliah!" - Boston
Christian Register.
"PvE brought these pillows back.
My wife says she won't have them in
the house." "Why, my dear sir, those
pillows are bargain. We marked
them down" eyes, I know you did,
but my wife declares they're nothing
but hens feathers. "-Bosto7a TRAM
script.
MISS MARLBoRo-I had such mis-
fortune to-day, Professor. My parrot
escaped and I haven't seen it since.
Professor (of mathematical Indeed
How sad! And yet, do you know, Miss
Marlboro, your affection could be
beautifully diagrammed. Miss Miss
Marlboro-Ah? Professor-Yes;i it's
pollygone.-Detroit Free Press.
WIFE-My dear, I don't know what
I am going to do; the company is only
half served and the refreshments are
giving out. Hubby-Well, if Browne
is here we are perfectly safe. Wife
but [ don't see how it is going to rem
edy the difficulty. Hubby-Why, get
him to read that theory of his Coming
man, and you will see the guests dis
appear like smoke.-JaAdge.
A LITTLE girl who made too much
noise in the early morning in her sick
mothers room was put out in the hall,
and soon after a miserable old rag doll,
of which she was very fond, was tossed
out to her. This was the STRAW" that
did it. Snatching up her beloved, and
it tightly in her arms, with
eyes she sobbed out to her
grandma: II wouldn' a tared, but
what has Judy done ?"-Bosto1a Globe.