The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-08-01
Fault.Finding.
Margaret E. .Saaagster, in the Chris
tian LnteNigencer.

IHOTHuTet IL. toCUIyotcfi CIV WV W." W
tian hnteHigencer.
There are certain rocks OIL which
happiness, if it strike, is very likely to
split. One of these is fault-finding.
The habbit of grumbling is fatal to
family peace, and if indulged in hab-
itually by any single member of a
household is sure to disturb the har-
mony of all the rest. Like most bad
habits this is formed insensibly, and
many iuveterate and fretful fault-find-
ers are 80 unconscious Of their beset-
ting sin that in their own eyes they
are models of amiabiIity. "If," they
say, $50 and so were done, or undone,
we would never complain, but"-
Alas! in most houses there are 'ifs'
and "buts." The most delightful and
lovable people are only human, after
all, and have their nervous days, and
their forgetful days, and their days OF
being generally out of sorts and blue.
Very many people have their sharp
points, which must be avoided, and
their weak places, which are getting
in the way; and in fact there are very
few of US who have not somewhere a
spot where it would be quite safe to
erect such warning-post as in winter
stands at intervals on the skating
pond, danger here J" To live with
people in the familiarity and complete
unreserve of domestic life, and to live
so gently and pleasantly that no ones
foibles are made manifest, no ones
feelings wounded, and no ones per-
sonality unjustly invaded, implies
tact, unselfishness, and almost sanity
patience, on the part of all concerned.
There are homes where love is so COM
pletely the motive-power, and courtesy
so unfailing the custom, that a ripple
of trouble rarely disturbs their calm ::
unfortunately, such homes are not in
the majority. In far too many houses
there are often undignified and unne-
cessary scenes at breakfast, dinner, and
tea, which are not quite quarrels, but
which are probably worse in their eff
fects. AS thunderstorm clears the
air, and the sunshine seems brighter,
80 a good, honest quarrel once in a
great while may-we say it doubtfully,
however-make everything lovely
afterwards. (Lovers, by the way,
have been known to quarrel for the
pleasure of making up and being
friends again.) But a feeble, inter-
mittent, never-ending, still-beginning
patter of fault-fnding wears away
heart and soul and strength. Fancy
being r. Wilfer, and living with that
angelic creature his wife!
Fault-finding people usually have
their favorate provocations. Thus,
while to the man of the house who
has fallen into the most unmanly way
of scolding indiscriminately anything
will afford an occasion, from forgot
ten cobweb to knot in the baby's
shoestring, it is an utter impossibility
for him to pass by the carving knife.
Carving knives are edge tools that
seem to have been primarily designed
to try the masculine temper. "My
DEAR" says the gentleman, laying
down knife and fork with the air of a
martyr, 'this knife is dull again. 1t
is singular that we never can have a
sharp knife in this house." Precisely
as though every other house in the
place were furnished to perfection with
the finest cutlery, and this only were
deficient. After carving knives, coffee
is convenient objective point. tits
too weak or too strong, it is cold, it is
thick, it is everything and anything
but right. AS for the mistress, when
she is a scold, farewell to comfort:
"All hope abandon ye who enter
here" might appropriately be in
scribed over the door of every abode
where presides a fault-finding wife.
Feminine resources are inexhaustible,
feminine opportunities are endless !;
and as for the feminine tongue, Solo
mon said ages ago, and the accumul-
ated wisdom of the world to-day con-
firms his coviction, that dwelling on
the houss-top would be infinitely
pleasanter than life with "a brawling
woman in a wide house."
"But there are legitimate occasions
for fault-finding-are there not ?" in
quires somebody. Very likely; and
when such arise meet them as it is the
best way to meet every difficulty in life,
farely, squarely, and bravely. Say the
act is wrong in plain words, and have
done with it. 1t is one thing to repri-
mand or approve where reproof or re-
buke is duty; it is quite another to
keep up scattering fire of small shot
in the way of sarcasm, inuendo, and
complaint, for half day at time.
The true remedy, in nine cases out of
ten. when circumstances are contrary
is to accept the situation. beware of
desperate steps-the darkest day, live
till tomorrow, will have passed
away.n