The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1888-04-07
FACT AND FANCY.

As to how badly he crippled old Satan that is
q secondary consideration.
The proprietor OF q hotel at St Augustine,
Fla, is serving on his tables vatermelons
cucumbers, and Jamaica ginger.
A low estimate puts the number of persons
supported BY all the forms Of employment
furnished by electricity at 100000.
The cold weather has driven so many bears
from the foothills into the town of Grass
Valley Cal; that no dne dafes stir out Of doors
after dark
"Dou't get excited" Is the advice of 9 Da-
kota paper to people who are caught out In .
blizzard. That's a cheap and easy way to
pull through.
America makes and consumes more confec-
tionery than any other country on earth. Either
New York, Philadelphia or Cincinnati eats
more candy than arts
Beecher was Of the opinion that Noah had
no animals beyond horses, cattle. sheep aud
hogs In his ark, and that the fowls were linn
tied to geese and hens.
It is estimated that rot more than 500
grzsly bears are left ia the West, and the To-
year old boy who bankers to kill bear and Stay
Indians should be moving.
In Italy no statement of account Is sent to
a debtor until three months have passed, and
1t is expected that he will take three more to
look the bill over and see If it Is correct.
An Illinois crank goes to the bank aud
draws sight-drafts on President Cleveland
Jay Gould and other prominent men for SD,-
600 each, and is mad because they don't
pay.
The empress OF Austria has been recon-
mended to try the new health clothing for
rheumatism, from which she suffers, but she
prefers imperial purple silk with lace trim,
mings
s'Hardships Of q military campaign are
simply incidental to circumstances" observ-
ed Gen. Howard. We tumble. Falling down
an old well is also simply incidental to taking
| a walk.
A Missouri man who had conscientious
| scruples about taking the oath as juror,
| stole two overcoats and Sci in money from
| his fellow jurors before the panel was dis
charged.
It may be difficult for rich man to enter
|
faction at present, in this inhosptanle eli
mate, of being able to buy little coal now
and then.
Chief Two Horns, Of the Apaches, says 1t is
| oDly a question Of time when the last pale
| face will be driven out Of this country. Mr.
| Two Horns should come East and set up for
weather prophet.
| IN rxi,l tha att In
has gone out of business She tried to draw
a goat to her by looking into his eye, and hi
came head OIL and so fast that she could moi
get out Of bis way
John Wauamakcr feels much cut up at thu
criticisms on his big $4,000 painting. II i
peases man who keeps big clothing stor,
it ought to please everybody else, aud he cam
see why It doesn't
Some people talk politics and theology as 4
they meant to settle all the questions that
| puzzled mankind since Adams time, but thu
next generation will have something to tall
about just the same.
Russia now rises to remark that she has NJ
intention of going to war. Paradoxical as |
NAV sound, Russa's lack Of credit gives credit
to this assertion. 1t is hard, II not impossible
to 20 to war 'on tick.''
There are probably more newspaper liei
about big games Of draw poker than abou
snakes, sea serpents or politicians. SOM
New York papers have a big lie regularl
every Sunday In the year.
The number OF tigers killed in India las
year amounted to 1.499 II we'd only known
that only one more was wanted to make w
the even hundred we'd have cheerfully killed
him and called: 'TallyP'
Little boy," said an old lady, as you
father o Christianl Does he fear the LordP
81 guess he does" replied the little boy, ~
know when he started to church last Sunday
he took his gun with him."
The king of the Belglans has recently in
sured his own private property In the roya
palaces ut Brussels and ut Laekcn for ESQ,
600 This property consists OF furniture, pic
lures, plate, objects of art, and china.
There are times when man feels that ont
good snecze woald do him more good than {
$40 legacy, but when the sneeze comes just a
the visiting elder is saying grace at the break
fast table u man does not feel that way.
1t has been proved beyond a doubt that tn
men Of the present age are larger. stronger
aud better looking than the men OF any ctheI
generation since the world began, and nov
let's chuckle bit aud get down to bust ness
MADAM, you are on the high road to tht
DEVILS headquarters" said Sam Jones to {
Kansas woman who had silk dress on, anC
she answered: "rhen we shall probably meet
again, sir!" At which Samuel turned straw,
berry color"
"What can you tell me about Esaue' quer
led the pedagogue. "Esau," responded tn
youth, with alacritv of one who feels himself
for once, on safe ground "Esua was a writ
er of fables who sold his copyright for boi
tie of potash"
An Arkansas court has sentenced man tt
three years. imprisonm mt for stealing 5
Bible This looks rather rough at first glance
but when one comes to realize how scare
Bibles are in that State the sentence seem
none too heavy.
A Baltimore man has collected figure
which show that the bustles of this countr
cost over s., OOJ, 900 per year. We don't Sc
what can be done about it. however, exceI
to make 'em q trife larger and add anothe
million dollars
There are no less than twenty-five
localities calling themselves 'the garde
spot of America" AMI thirteen of them hav
been buried under the snow drifts for the pas
six weeks. Gardening won't begin with then
much before June.
A Dakota paper speaks Of great revival Q
business in its locality. A perusal OF its loca
columns gives the reason for it. A thirty
mile railroad branch has been cleared {
snow drifts, and q saloonlst aud grocer hay
replenished their stocks.
The people OF Buffalo have never heard Q
sickness being caused BY impure ice, or II the
have they are willing to take their chances o
1t, and butchers and brewers are gaihcrin
the frozen element wherever there is raj
road ditch or brick yard pool.
She was naughty one day and her motht
was talking to her, much to the young lady
evident impatiencc. 'Do you know who SEE
you, Katie, when you are naughtys" "Ther
mamma" exclaimed Miss Kate, II don
want to hear any Of the God business t.
, day."
Mr. Charles Cramp, the Philadelphia shil
builder, has examined some fragments of til
wrecked steamer Oregon, and said 1t wa
built of the poorest sort of pot metal not