The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-08-13
BRIGHT BITS

Mr.. BAY STREEr-Do you see that old darkey
hobbllng along there? What do you suppose he
reminds me of?
Mr.. Tybee Beach-Dont know, really.
y. S,-Ot character in one of SCOTS novels
Il. B.-Why?
b. S.-Because he is an old negro-mansir
t. Bust So But that just shows how diff
ferently the same thing strikes different people,
He reminds me more of Uncle Remus.
b. S.-Why?
L. B.-Because he is an old Niger roman-cer
GEoeRAPArcAL-Empero William is at home
again. He now winds bis watch ON the
Rhine" so to speak.-LolceA Courier.
mo, INDEED said the young lady from Bos
ton, adjusting her eyeglasses, II never ride in
those Robert-tail cars. Ne,C York sun
To MURDER man in cold blood now, It would
be necessary to hunt him in the vault of a cold
storage company.-NeW Orleans Picayune.
AN AMATEUR brass band at Merton has de-
termined to give satisfaction at all hazards. 1t
has resolved to disband .-NorristotUn Herald
WE never wonder at the ease with which
David killed Goliath with his little sling. Many
better man than Goliath has since fallen a
victim to tine little sling lime.
MAN docking for board)-You set a good ia
BILE, s'pose, madam?
Landlady-Yes, sir; only last week my fourth
floor back died of gout.-Epoch.
NEWLY ARRIVED GUEST (at summer resort
hotel)-I say, landlord, how's thisy There were
no less than two funerals in the hotel to-day.
Landlord-Yes, sir; both OF the diseased died
of old age.-Epoch.
SUNDAY SCHOOL TEAcHER-Now tell me, what
is duty?
Little West Ender GUST back from Europe
It's something you don't pay unless you have
to.-PhttddetDhid Record.
ooh, MY" exclaimed a New Jersey girl who
was visiting her uncle an Illinois farmer what
big mosquitoes"
Them amt mosquitoes" was the rejoinder.
"Them's sparrers. Merchant TraUeler
WOMAN Ito tramp)-You are not robust
looking man.
Tramp. No, ma am; attribute the feebleness
of my condition to irregularity of diet. | eat
between meals-other peoples meals.-YYme.
MISS BUNKER (reading Brownng)-Isn't
Browning delicious, Penelope?
Miss Waldo--Perfecty divine!
Miss Bunker-How do you think he is the
more charming, backward or forward?-Life.
81 CANNOT give you a definite answer tonight,
Mr.. Paperwate, said the girl. softly; you
must give me month to think il over
Very well, v was the young mans response,
land in the meantime | can think it over my
self. Life.
81 HEAR" said Mr.. Glummer, that Young
Giddy has gone to the lunatic asylum
,'So?" answered his partner; business
troublesg"
mo; loneliness, He married a girl with a
mission about a year ago and has only seen her
twice since, and both times at board meetings -
-Bludette.
TRAMP-Will you give me cents to buy a
glass of beer with, sir?
Citizen-I guess SO. You look as though you
! might feel quite at home in a beer saloon. my
friend.
Tramp-Yes sir; but for genuine, simon pure,
delicious abandon you should see me some time
when I'm in a brewery Time
In front of the Fifth Avenue hotel-City man
(showing Chicago friend the sights)-That il
the Worth monument.
Chicago friend lin astonshment)- What! Is
he deadr q
City maH-Deadg OF course he is dead
Chicago friend after "A long pause)-Well |
hope my wife will find less expensive man to
order her dresses from now.-HOteL Mail
MISTRESS Ito servant)-Aren't you going to
mass to day, BridgetY
Bridget-Sure, mum, an didn't the milliner
bad cess to her, disapp'int me in me hat lasht
nightf
Mistress Why, can let you have a hat To
wear
Bridget-Yez are very kind mum, but Dim
afraid it would be too odld lookin'. Epoch.