Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1888-08-03
Two Queer Servants.

You talk of having trouble with
your servant, Courtenay, my boy"
said Captain Lansdowne, OF the Brit
ish Dragoon Guards, as he sat at the
| double window OF his hotel in Mos
COW, watching the red winter sunset
fade behind the great white battle
ments and greenfield towers encir-
cling the "Gorodskaya Tchast' Getty
quarter). We'll, just you come and
live i'm Russia for year or two, and
then you'll think all Western servants
absolute perfection"
That's 50" assented Mr.. Hiram
Bayler, with dry smile upon his
keen American face. I've engineer
ed three railroads between this and
the Volga. and ought to know what
sort Of critters the Russians are.
But really. now, you know" eX-
postulated Courtenay-who,a as a new
arrival. was being put through a
course OF Russian manners and Gus
toms by his two friends-"some Of
these stories that they tell about SER
wants can't possibly be true. For i'm
stance, fancy anybody expecting one
10 believe that an officers servant
could bring his master two odd boots,
and say: Faith,l don't know what's
got into thin boots today. There's
a.
Schape, shure'
We'll, I'm sorry To contradict you
old fellow, said the captain, laugh
ing, but il happens that ! saw that
done myself, and the officer was the
senior major of our regiment.
And If You want parallel ease,
-chimed in Mr. Baylor. II guess we
can accommodate your right away
So saying, he stepped to the door,
and shouted into the passage, - Van.
va Johnny.
"Sei-tchass" directly answered
hoarse voice, and in came short
square, low-browed fellow with red
calico shirt outside all his other clothes,
and face whose profound and placid
stupidity was worthy OF II Tartar idol.
Bring two logs for the stove said
the American; and mind that one
must be longer than the other
Away plodded honest Ivan like
ploughhorse, and returned presently
with two split logs OF unequal length.
"DnrakT QooD, cried Mr.. Boylar,
with admirably feigned anger. Il
told you To have one piece longer
than the other, and instead of that
you've got one piece shorter than the
other!'
Ivan hung his head la confusion.
so have sure enough. Its all my
fault, BARN" (master); but I'll 20
and change IL this moment.
We'll, cried Courtenay, as Ivan
disappeared, IF there's another such
fool as that in Russia, Id like to tce
him that's all!''
80 You shall ia less than half
minute said Captain Lansdowne,
going to the door in his turn. Nee
sha"
\ hasty step was heard outside, and
a tall scraggy fellow entered, whose
gaunt face had none Of the stolid self
satisfaction which marked the heavy
features OF Ivan. On the contrary he
wore "A restless and troubled look, as
if he were dimly conscious that bc
was fool, and was always trying to
find out how and why.
Were You pleased to call, lury Pro
tectvitchy' (George son Of Peter,
asked he.
Yes, | want you 10 do "A job for me.
You know Pashkon's store just across
the street? Well, here are too twenty
kopeck pieces (silver coins worth
about dime SO and bring mo
twenty kopecks. worth Of white bread
and twenty kopecks worth Of cheese
on went Michael on his errand.
aud Mr. Courtenay who could not
imagine bow any one could manage
to bungle such plain commission
was greatly puzzled when IA quarter OF
an hour went by without any sign of
his return.
Something must have happened to
him. surely" said he at last.
II haven't the slightest doubt Of It,
answered the captain, with "A sly
smile, and can pretty well guess
what that something l.. Clap on your
coat and hat, and come along. Pash.
koG's isn't far off. and III be bound
we shall find Master Michael at the
door Of the shop"
There they found him snre enough.
with such All expression a. might be-
worn by man who jrrst upset plate
Of soup over bis head perpIexedIy With
one hand while he held out the coins
in the other.
"Oh. barin. BARN" cried he on see
ing them. 1T was written for me at
my birth that should be unIucky,
and there's no escaping IL.
who, what's wroDgT asked the
captain, with side glance at Courte-
nays astonished face.
I've mixed the coins" answered
Miehai, in heart-brokeD tones, and
now I don't know which was the one
for the bread. and which was the one
for the cheese. ."-Ho,pv's Aogozine
Proud Father displaying twins 10
Mr. OidbOy) What do yon think II
them, old fellow
Mr. OIdboy .(who doesn't care for
babies Not bad. JiDks, not bad. Er