The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1888-10-12
PHILOSOPHER DUNDEE.
rhe wise Old Teuton Makes SONS Apt
General Observations.


General Observations.
If vhas to live my life oafer again
expect do no peter ash pefore- Mo-
pody knows how to live until he vhas
aboudt ready to die.
Nopody vhas sooch good frierdt to
me dot he can tell me where / should
reform onless get mad NIT him. II
vhas human nature dot we all believe
ne vfaas good enough
In trying to get something for moth
ing in dis world we cheerful1y buy two
dollars worth of cigars for der man
who gifs us a teeket to a feefty-cent-
show.
Idoan' see some 1oafers around mid
out / wonder dot Nature vhas so fool
ish- She could shust as well haf used
oop dot material to grow fence-rafls
and hitclling posts
III you find me some man who vhas
satisfied nit der weather und der peo-
pies und der world, show you some
pody who vhas ripe for either Heafen
or der idiot asylum
When like to pound on my drum I
forget dot ] haf some neighbors who
may like to shleep. When I like to
shleep myself my neig11bor should be
put in shall if he plays on der piano.
We like a man who shpeaks der
truth by US, und yet shust so soon ash
ae tellsus something unpleasant We
yhas mac at him
When hear boy whistle feel safe.
| know dot so long as he whistles he
dean put up soHe shop to shteaI my
apples or carry of my front gate.
If y0u take a mans bad luck und
trace 1t back you vhiIl discover dot he
vhas to blame ten times where some
pody else vhas once, nnd yet he remem-
bers only dot once.
/ doan' like uan to be too liberal
nit me. especially doctor in prescrib-
ing large doses.
Il vhasn't so much der darkness /
ghas afraid of when night comes, but
naype | do something's mean or wicked
BY daylight.
II you keep your eyes open you vhin
see dot charity works hard all summer.
yhile most of her beneficiaries sleep in
Ter shade or 1oafs nit der saloons
We doans know some men until dey
ehas gone TO der bad Den it vhas we
near afery pody say how shmart und
.alented dey vhas all der time
Der best frendt 1 eafer had became
ny enemy as soon as lent him fife dol
iar mitout security. Dot same man
Eould have mortgaged his house and
lot TO somepody else und felt dot it vhas
anlF peesness-
Sometimes ii seems to me dot der
world yhas too wicked to stand much
onger. und dot it vhas hard TO find one
lonest. upright man. / take some liver
Medicine. und Ioi der next day der
York Fhas good enough und all men
has all right
! haf seen a funeral procession mile
ng. ind two weeks later haf asked
no vhas buried dot day. und nopody
/ ,ouId remember. When a man gets
trough nit der world der world yhas
trough NIT him
! hypoerite vhas bad man. und yet
ometimes I vhas glad to meet tief
| tho d0an tell me who he vhas.
Fhen | see woman cry feel to
raise der wisdom of Nature. If she
=2uldnt shed tears she would pull
oiFepody halr--DefT0ft Free Press
With 500. 900 represented in q
single dog show this country has no
reason 70 be discouraged. Twenty years
from now we shall be worth many mill
ions IN dogs, though we may possibly
lose few sheep. Courier
/ JestTnaI.
An article is going the rounds of
/ the papers headed: How to Select q
| Wife Its rules are very scientific
md interesting, but when young man
falls in love he doesn't ponder over
rules. Hejustshuts both his eyes tight