The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-02-02

81 fxs~sssg inc house request the
n - pleasure Of your
- presence ct the same
on Dec s. We do not expect you TO lie present;
Il fact. We would rather have letter Of regret
from yol II you would so favor us il would not
l., pnbisael. but simply b. read on the evening
v-iih other communications Of HE nature etc.,
etc.
As there j. no stamp inclOsed in reply To
the above letter, have decided TO reply
Lrily through the columns OF the pres.
The idea OF soliciting letter Of regret Is
original with the writer Of the above, whose
name is kindly suppressed. This reply VIII
come a little late for the l>s Christmas, but
it may be retained for that of ISIS.
As one who has gaddened many social
patberins, by n well worted letter Of regret,
/ desire 10 state that hail with JOY this new
and ingenious method OF saying distinctly III
n letter of invitation whether ones regrets
would be preferable TO his company. lhls
custom will finally reyolutonize society, and
letters Of invitation will some day state DIS
tinctly whether the guest viii aiford the
greatest delight To his host by accepting or
declining the invitation II viii be big
tbing. Eminent men, like Dr. Mary Walker
md the writer Of these lines will then have
more regrets than they know what to do
with
II will also simplify the matter OF enter
tainment itself and render 1t purely cleri-
cal matter With'a good typewriter man
of moderate means could issue invitations
enough i'm one forenoon to yield a column
and half Of regrets.
He could then, on the evening Of the
banauet. congregate himself around light
collation. Of mush and milk, write up AN ac-
count of the debauch and send it IN TO the
morning papers, accompanied by the letters
Of regret and it would read well and cost
very little invitations might read as fol
lows.
Mr. - requests the pleasure Of a letter from
you declining and rcgrctting your inability TO be
present at bis Christmas tree. The letter should
not contain over 800 words and must be written
only on one side Of the paper
RS Y T.. L. O. ID. T. +.
Replies should be in tine handwriting Of the
person invited, and should not only containa
large blue mass Of regrets, but branch off in
a way that would really jerk out the singer
which letter Of regrets generally contains.
For instance, a letter from the president
should contain, beside the pang expressed IN
his regret, a fragment of his message and a
lock OF his hair A letter OF regret from Mr..
Whittier should contain an autograph poem.
Dittoall poets. Statesmen declining one ot
these conditional invitations would he eX-
poctcd 10 cmbOdy portions OF forthcoming
speeches in their letters Of regret. Artists
wOull be expected 10 jerk pen and ink sun
Sc. la the corner OF their reply, suitable for
an album. ana musicians could insert Il bar
OF a lay0rite opera.
This method OF swapping stationery for au-
toeraph regrets would soon, II properly
handled. Yield more than silver wedding
and be infinitely more versatile. 1t prevents
the wholesale tramping OF cake into the car
pet, because You need not have cake and YOU
need not have any ono to tramp it into the
CARPET 10 cards, ~ cake. no carpet, no
company.
The time is approaching when man with
a lock box al the pOstOiiice, sixty cents worth
OF stat ianery and the utmost confidence in him
self can produce for publication an account
of the orgies at his house, which would make
the reading pdblic extremely angry because
it wa, not present
All Of the foregoing, except the letter Of
invitation is written in tone Of banter and
rallary. The letter is genuine, and was
written by Il young man Of this city. If he
had said that my letter declining his invita-
ton would he published, very likely would
have replied 10y mail, but he has maddened
me by asking for a confidential autograph |
letter Of regrets which would not get into |
print Another form of invitation may read |
ds follows:
Compliments of Mr. and Mrs Borntoblush Tn
seon. who would b. tckled almost 10 death on re- |
ceiving word that Mr. William Contiguously can
not be present AT their Christmas tree. The tree
j. giVen largely Tor the purpose of making the |
people VINO live opposite hate themselves To- death,
aud letters of bitter regret aud disappointment |
are expected from many noted people. Please |
send in copy" by O'Clock The transom over |
tAc door viii b. left open as late as 1890 for the
reception Of Christmas gifts.
Letters of regret may be coucned III choice |
lanuage, expressing poignant grief IN the
first line or two and then branch out in the |
direction Of grief, pathos humor, patriotism, |
poetry. politics or trade. The following is |
tn style which would he in best taste for "A |
poet:
N. DsAl Mn AID Mrs THRIFTY-As | write |
the, Wo.li tears well up % my surcharged orbs, |
Gniif Bunny were here would like TO lean my |
head D. her Zap and nave n gOou cry cannot at |
end Your beautiful Christmas tree, as shall have |
to remain at home up To a late hour writing letters
oe re-l,t {, people who will be bitterly diSap- |
point II unesi they receive them
Hoping that you viii have u good time and See |
TIA. this Litter Of regret goes into the paper |
stlli hit. ] remain. yours truly, etc.
This custom will make every host his own
historian, reporter and social biographer, and |
with purple imagination, a fountain pen
and messenger boy, a man may entertain
like a prince.
But a sad thought comes to me as close |
this column Of bright anticipations. Per-
hans an exception has been made in my own
case 1t may be that the custom is not TO |
become general, but that in my ease the host |
has seen me at some other gathering and do
cldel that 1 would do better and shine with |
more cilulgencc a. regretter than as
guest, and 50, with that prompt and ready |
discernment which should characterize the
true host, lac has assigned 10 mo that part on
the pro rdinme which he thought nature had
4. t,tt.l ,,.. f.rf