davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Connecticut western news., 1888-03-28
HUMOROUS

The public will surely sour on the vinegar trust
 Old flames frequently get together and make paSlor match. ~ <
 The parlor i. rsobably the most fre- qucnted of all cours> rooms.
 Don't judge by sppearances. A brand new coat may cover Q wire dummy.
 If you just itch for anything, you may be able to get it by scratching around lively. \
 It reads trifle paradoxical to sec a cargo of salt cod noticed under the head / of fresh arrivals.
 Two heads are better than ono, es- 2 pecially for a man who wants to go round / the country with circus.
 Tho sign ''Beware of the Dog" is not hung up "that he who runs may read, but ''that he who reads may run"
 Perhaps some of the people who are looking for nice, fat jobs could be ac- commodated if they would apply at . lard rendering establishment.
 ''Papa, whers's Atomsw '.Atomsi don't know, my boy. You mean Athens, probably" ''No, mean Atoms-the ptsre where everything is blown to-" "Do you rectify mistakes heroi' asked gentleman as he stepped into drug store. "Yes, sir, we do, if the patient is still alive" replied tho ur- bane clerk.
 A London druggist has hit tho popu- lar taste for good bargains. In his win- dows he displays card that reads, 'Come in and get twelve emetics for one shilling"
 A school teacher recently asked her class the question: s.What is pilota' The smart boy answered: 'Gt is a lot where they grow pie-plant," and was sent to the foot of the class.
 Grandma Booming in unexpectedly Why, Tommy, what have you been do ing to Polli She looks as if she'd had . conniption ftl Tommy-Polly said something about wanting mo to s crack her, and did. 'The1e is something about you, Mir. sccondshelf, which tells me that you must have had heart-history" and sho gazed upon him with intense, soulful eyes. ''No, m'm," he said: q ain't just right there, but it's only cigar. ettes."
 "Wlll you love me whom Pm old9" sang the ancient soubretto. 'How old9" came in a shrill voico from the gallery. The singer did not reply, but the audience smiled when the curtain dropped, showing . century plant in full bloom.
 Merchant (buying bill of goods of a Chicago drummeD-What is your usu- al time, thirty days9 Chicago drum mer (absent mindedly)--Yes; or $1o. I always pay the fne-- --oh- --er--I bog pardon yes, thirty days or 2 per cent. off for cash.
 When yesterday asked you, love, ses. One little word to say, Your brother interrupted us; So please say yesterday.
Connecticut western news., 1888-03-28
The Mirage.

Tho Mirage. They tell us that when weary travellers deem They view through quivering heat across the sand Great rocks for shadow in a weary land, And clustering palms and fairer yet, the gleam Where smiles in light to laugh in sound the stream. This is a work of tame enchanter's wand, But that reflected here true visions stand Of far-off things that close beside them So, worn with life's bot march, when near at hand A happier world we see upon us beem, Where death and parting need not be our theme, None there by toll forefought, by grief un- manned, Prophets of Science, hush your stern com mand. Ohl bid us not to hold it all dream
 1.-The Spectator.
Connecticut western news., 1888-03-28
Making Butter in Uruguay.

One of the curious customs of Uruguay is the manufacture of butter. The dairy man pours the milk warm from the cow into an infla ted pig or goat skin, hitchcs it to his saddle by a long lasso, and gallops five or six miles into town. When he reaches the city the butter is made, and he peddles it from door to door, dipping out the quantity desired by each family with a long wooden spoon.
Connecticut western news., 1888-03-28
A Curious Fact About San Francisco.

A curious fact about Sln Francisco is that it is about half way along line running from the eastcrnmost point of land to the westernmost owned by the United States. By drawing line from the western cad of the Aleutian Islands to the eastern end of Maine, it will be found that the Golden Gate on the Pacidc is in about the middle of it.
Connecticut western news., 1888-03-28

Buencs Ayrcs, in the Argentine Re- public, is now the largest city in South America, the census of 1887 giving it a population of ASA GOO. The population
 Of the entire country has increased 175 per cent. in the last twenty yearA while that of the United States in tho same peiod of timo has increased only 79 per
Connecticut western news., 1888-03-28
An Alabama Negro in SaxOny,

Among tho curiositi,s oi the popula. tion statistics of thc King sdom of Sax ony is the application for naturalization of 8 negro boy, a native of Alabama, who arrived in Hamburg as cabin boy at the ago Of R years, has since re- maiucd in Germany, and, after having been baptized into tho Luthcrian church at Breslau three years ago, has now con. c.udel to settle in Chcmnitx -l Pari. American Register,
Connecticut western news., 1888-03-28

A St Petersburg cores pendent says that the actual czar of Russia the man whose orders are irrevokable, is not Alexander III but Lieutenant General Dresser. the head of the palace and a member of the privy council He is between 40 and 45 years of age, is a soldier by profession and has been dec oratcd many times for gallantry on the &oll
Connecticut western news., 1888-03-28

Colonel T. W. Bullitt, of Louisville, says that it was not Daniel Boone who made the pioneer settlement in Ken. lucky, but an ancestral kinsman of his own named Walker. In proof of thi, assertion he shows hatchet with which the said MT. Walker blazed path through the trackless woods ia 1749.
Connecticut western news., 1888-03-28
CANAAN CONN, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 2s 1888.

Dick spriggs said the other day that if ho did not read the papers for him. self every morning he would imagine from Uncle Zskc's appearance that Northwestern had slumped off about 600 points, - Detroit Free Press.
Connecticut western news., 1888-03-28

The cost of maintaining the imperial family of Germany, with all its various branches, is $2o. 900, GOO year. The sultan of Turkey costs the people $15,- 900, 900 annually. The most economi- cal court in Europe, considering its size and the wealth of the empire, is the
Connecticut western news., 1888-03-28

Old-fashioaed England still pays nearly $5000 year to the Master of the Hawks, salaries to four falconers and $30O0 year for food for the hawks, all though tho hawks and the falconers are all myth. The pension was granted by Charles H., and is paid to this hour, SO technically does she cling to ancient
Connecticut western news., 1888-03-28
Connecticut Western News.
PUBLISHED AT eANMh, uTchFlElD CO, CONN,
EVERY WEDNESDAY, MORNING.
< C MKLEY, Elltr and Proprietor.
Local News a Special alty.
TER MS,

$40O per year, if paid strictly In advance n not paid st tho expiration of three nonths e436 win be charged
 Suhsoriben desiring their papers discon- dnusd must give notice at the EIPIlArfoH of thck subscriptions any prsvious notice not bst1g sufficient and nnless all srrsaragss ars paid, papsxs win not then b. discontinued ave q tho option of the pubhahsr.
Connecticut western news., 1888-03-28
A Unkind Cut,

'I hear that you are engaged. Ma mie2'
 ''Then mother was right"
 ''What aboutf'
 ''sho said you would bo engaged bo- fore leap year was over. T. [Bost on (
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1888-09-06
Tie Dictionary in tie Solool-roon

Being Interested il an that pertains
to the success aud usefulness Of our
putlic schools. we would cal tie at
teHtion o! educators t. the value Of
EARLY trainin. u the u,e of language
aud the a.cd OF more thorough in,truc-
ton III the knowledge Of rord,. We
mean TIE Eaqli.h language. and Tor
tbr most pa.t, good Oh Aaslo->aN"n
uotf>.
W. ARE CONSTRUCTED to believe that
il tur TOO many schools the ability TO
name words rapidly as they occur in
thr reading lesson. in the geography or
tie history j. allowed to suffice as the
full measure Of instruction in the de-
parimcnt Of language, and the pupils
thu, pass TO other fields without the
ability to either correctly spell or
properly pronounce the words they
used, and with no knowledge at all of
their true Specification or wealth OF
meaning.
The derivation or history OF word
as found in the dictionary often opens
up a most delightful field FOR study aud
investigation. aud through this the
learners ambition 10 attain greater
power and flueney in the use Of words
might be melted. We believe that the
learned man is most clearly distinguish
ed from the ignorant by his greater
command of language and wider know
ledge of the power OF words. What
better field can there be, then, for the
Development Of a greater usefuln, S on
the part Of our pnn'ic schools than
ihrouei larger and more intelligent
sindy Of orr own vocabulary
Fortunately we have a standard au-
thority Tor the meaning and use Of
English words, recognized and uni
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1888-09-06
Why Sot2

~
''.'' '''J '' ''''l c'i '"e'e Zee '' ".'.-
an '','l"S Al municipal eIe' ti'n': W ~
H''o'li ~, no. nave a voice d" select
~ '''' ''''''','i' ""' are 1" nave yi''f -e
81 ",i J'''l''" ; r'.'o''ioA ana "hF
S''""''. Y ""4 participate 10 'He select
10" % "'H11'7 VIII" IRE drl sH'ed hY
~" 70 MAKE IN" ehio'ce 'he laws p
.ne community where she Fe'i'ie'
H''F women are ''1''E taxpayers 'hu''
. we y" no" STANDS ~ pennsylvania
II I " ""I'.'' ~ "' '"ice VI ~" =
''' '''' n '''' '''''''''N NJ II" 'eFF we iax-
: "loh htf property "or cAn -" 70
'HoiV IN" 'i''ei Nc!oal protest
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1888-09-06

They who endeavor to become
like God in love will feel his approving
smile and his heIring arm. Every
effort they make will bring them nearer
to his presence and they will find his
renewed image grow more and more
vivid with them, uniil the time comes
when they. too. shall shine forth as the
sun in tie Kingdom OF their Father.
Archdeacon Hare.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1888-09-06
State of Maine.

ylttIt vi HUlIIV.
HANCOCK SCOUT Of insolvency, ninth day
Of Ang. a., isss
n me mater 81 Emery = smith OF surry, In
- ~ tt"'H- ~ - heieilS ordered that no
the be given 10 all perzous Interested in tie a.
tlemcHt NJ the first account Of Geo r. Fuller ~
sl4nee 81 tiie ab9te haInel insolyent debtor, rs
weeks successfully in the Ellsworth American a
new sIlaper printed in Eiisw orth In said cant,
siiat w LAY appeaf ~ court Of Insolvency 10
On the twelfth day Of September next al two
O'Clock IN the afternoon and he heard thereon aI
object If they see cause
d. Z. GUSSTSGHAM
Judge Of insoiyeBev Cont
A true copy, Attest ;-CHAs. r. DDfR
swa3 Register OF saId Court,
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1888-09-06

The subscriber hereby gives public notice 10 all
concerned, mat be has been duly appointed
AMI has taken upon himself the trust Of an Execu.
tor OF the last WEI and testament OF X. Thomas u
tiers, late Of Hancock in tine county Of Han
cock, deceased;
he therefore requests all persons who are in.
hented 70 SAID deceased's estate, 10 make tniBe-
dlate payment, and thGst who have any irnmedI-
ate demands thereon 70 exhibit the same for set
temeht. GEORGE BUSH.
Aug. s. lSSs. saaa
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27
WASHINGTON, APRIL p, 1883.

DnE NEw YoRK Press has been OBJ
tanning expressions of opinion on the
subject of tariff reform from the
mayors of various cities throughout
the country, and among others to
whom letters of inquiry were adj
dressed, as occupying positions of
municipal trust, were the Commits
sioners of the District Of Columbia.
ltis probably the first time in their
official history that the District Com
missioners have been called on for
their tariff views, but that they
proved fully equal to the occasion
VIII be seen from the following reply:
We have no statistics upon which to base
an opinion ON the subject other than those
contained In the United states Census re-
ports. The mechanical interests here are
very limited In comparison with the extent of
population. The District is essentially n
political metropolis, and the paramount de-
rendence Of lis industrial establishments is
upon local custom so tnat the question re.
TERED to enters but little into the Districts
business concerns.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27
cnIrIcuLAn.

IN the West End.
Small boy to lady visitor DO you live
in glass house,
Lady. Ofcoursc not. I liycln brick
house. Why do you ask such a funny
question?
Small boy: You know when you was
here last week and said Mrs. Blank
wasn't any better than she ought to be 2
Lady-wonderingly: Yes.
Small boy; Well, after you went away
mamma was talking about IT, and said
something about people That live in glass
houses throwing rocks, and thought it
was mighty funny if you lived in glass
house, cause ! never saw one in Wash
mgton.
Now Congressman and Senators
Forsake their wonted places
And dropping legislative tasks
Go out and play the races.
Mr.. Aquarclle had brought very
murky, indistinguishablc sort Of an i'm.
pressionist picture home to his wife.
There love" he said, as he set IL be.
fore hcr, there's fine water color"
Yes, see" she replied sweetly
"rcal, genuine Potomac water color"
HOME FROM the RACES.
Oh, look at me rs | ride along
In my carriage swinging low:
put my money on the scrub horse lot,
And let the favorites go.
The German prints--Berlin newspapers.
If the devil is not as black rs he is
painted, neither are some young ladies rs
pink and white.
Epitaph on a coal dealer:
Beneath this sod there sleeps man,
Freed haply from life fetter:
Friends kindly let us hope he's gone
Where business will be better.
Don't drop your ilannels when the per
spiration drops.
The Cattlelonian is proper name for
the ship that brought John L. Sullivan
over.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27
'couRrsHrP AND MATRIMoNv.

To-day wande throu-h the grove,
stroll across the lea,
The music of the feathered choir
Brings memories sweet 10 me.
Twas here we wandered hand In hand
Among the sprngng flowers;
All love, never can forget
Those bright, those golden hours.
The scene appears the same to-day,
Here was our trysting place,
But now II lacks one feature bright,
Your sweet and smiling face.
! miss the music of your voice,
So sweet, so soft, so low.
The eyes that fondly met my own
One little year ago, 4
! Sigh TO have You by my side;
hut, ah, II can not be;
You can not come 70 me today
Beside the trysting tree.
A change has come into our lives
Our courting days have flown;
You've got TO mind the twins, and
Must take my walks alone.
-fBoston Courier.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27

THE MEMPHIS AmlGHche proposes
the creation of a new State, COM
posed of North Alabama, West
Tennessee, East Arkansas and North
Mississippi, with the handsome and
progressive city of Memphis, of
course, as the Capital; but "Tenn-
arkalamiss" ss"-Phebus what name !
Imagine David Dudley Field, with
all his other grievances against the
nomenclature of States, confronted
with such jargonese as this. The
poor old gentleman would go off in a
c0nniption fit.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27
MISSION WAITS.

q, these lilies Of GodS garden
WIN grow white az they grow tall;
Eyen now they see heavens hilltops
As they look beyond the wall
They long for the ''liviug waters"
And yet, In the mire and unold,
Thcy are opening snowy petals,
And ebOWinB bearts ef,a0ldf
.llA6nes j. MITCHELL.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27
PROP0eALs.
DnorosAls ron NlscFLL,

DROPOSALS FOR MIsCBLLANE SUP.
Il plies. War Department April ., 1883.
Sealed proposals, In duplicate. will be re
cciYcd at this Office until 1 O'Clock u. M
miscellaneous supplies, consisting of brooms.
brushes, soaps, towels, ETC.. etc, for the War
Department and It's bureaus in Washington
during the fiscal year ending June 30, 1889
Blank forms Of proposals, showing the
items and estimated quantities required,
together with Instructions TO bidders, will be
furnished ON application 20 this office.
formal acceptance Of any bid under this adj.
vertisemCnt viii be made until Congress
makes an appropriation from which the sup.
plies called for can be purchased.
aratoly.
Proposals must be addressed to the under
signed, indorsed On the outside of the en-.
velope, proposals for Miscellaneous Sup.
plies" g. II. HOYT.
Assistant Ouartermastpr
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27

THE CHICAGO ANARCHISTS have in
vited Herr Most out there to make a
speech, and he has consented to go.
He will probably take passage in a
dirt cart.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27

The LAW OF compensation is i'm
niutable; James Russell Lowell had
scarcely left Boston when John Law
renee Sullivan arrived.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27

The CLERICAL PRESS of Mexico is of
fhe opinion that our Minister, Gen
eral Bragg, is trying to Bouhnger that
country in the interest of the United
States.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27

MAINE Republicans declare their
hostility to liquor and every candi-
date except their own immortal ].
G.B.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27

A NATIONAL CONFERENCE of the
Anti-Saloon Republicans is to be held
in New York on the I'd of May. It's
object is to devise some means for
heading off the inroads of the Prohi-
billion party. The only way in which
this can be done is to adopt TIE Prohi.
bition platform, pure and simple.
Anti-Saloonism is buta political trick,
SO thin that even blind man can see
through il.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27

IrwAs VERY KIND in the late En-
peror William 10 pardon Mr.. Jnsttis
Bchwab Of New York for his political
afIenses, but Schyab viii not return
10 FathsFiahd. He finds the selling
AElbs65 under ~ American aespotisn
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27

Mr.. DANA's attempt to run Mr..
Blaine OIL the track appears to have
been false start.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27

No WONDER Joe Chamberlain thinks
the Fisheries Treaty was great
victory for his side.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27

lead US NOT into temptation" is
tie prayer of declining Republican
candidates for the Presidency.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27

Oun ESTEEMED contemporary the
National Republican announces this
morning that its favorite candidate is
tie nominee of the Republican party.
Move Blaine up q peg, please.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27
FOR SALE AND RENT.

EOR RENT OR FOR SALE, ON VERY REA.
IL sonable terms, house 81 II st n 0; g.
story brick, mod imps, stable in rear. Apply
to r. WHITE, GA + st W; can deal direct
with owner.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27

TnE SOLID CLEVELAND. delegation"
Is s.becoming monotonous in the West.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27
V95-,.EASY, rsgrrL. FrrT, rrc.

"1he wise for health on daily walks de-
pend, and thousands visit DR.. White, foot
specialist 14l6 Pa ave-, opposite Wiiards
Hotel, for the painless treatment Of COrns.
Bunons, Diseased Nails and all complaints
Of the feet; 2Sth year Of practice I'm Washing.
ton. Fee, 81 a sitting for putting the feet in
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27

TnE JOCKEY CLuB is to be congratu-
lated upon the auspicious opening Of
its spring meeting, the glorious
weather with which it was ushered
in and the large and fashionable
throng in attendance. Still more pro-
pitious are the elements to-day, and
another series of successful events is in
progress this afternoon
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27

Coon Inauguration weather, this
Siyange that Congress can't see II.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27

VlEs-,-s DR. MILLER, SrECI iIIgT FOR
w. the Eye. Ear and Throat. has re.
moved 20 SIS 18th II. n. w. ONCE hours. o
10 10 y to 4 and a. 10 =
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27

BEER INSTEAD of bier for the Ger
man Emperor. The news from Ber-
lin is encouraging.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27

IT APPEARS THAT Slugger Sullivan
terrorized nearly everybody on the
ship coming over, and nobody had
nerve enough to knock him over
board with a hand-spike.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27

TnE SENATE was wise in striking the
American pork clause ont of the Paris
Exposition bill, and the conference
committee was equally wise in deter
mining that it should stay out. 1t
had no business in the acceptance of
friendly invitation to participate iY,
great international show .anr%.
80 ,h; ~ 10 az AZ Eiseman's. Zttd par
Sy;at;oa ,smen sbl aees. 1t was another
" anime our kiso to increase the appro-
'oatinss, Srf'to S25O,0o The Investment
.e,ll pay no matter how the hog ques-
tion is settled.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27

quite enough TO his liking, and talk
iSg communism at long range is much
the safer.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27

FREDERICK a. STOKES q BRornER,
the New York booksellers, announce
that they will publish Immediately
The Age of Clevelapd." That's n
chestnut 1t has been published
dozens Of times. lie is ffty-one years
old
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27

An THERE, Congressman Matson,
will you bet hat that we will he call
ing you Governor, this time next
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27

TnE CAPTAIN of the steamship Cata-
lonia may be a good navigator, but he
missed the great opportunity of his
life on his last voyage. He should
have taken John l.. Sullivan in tow
instead Of carrying him aboard ship.
ELECTRICITY IS THE coming railway
motor, beyond all question; and when
it does come the "lightning express"
will be q veritable reality.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27
xr=-nEE1CE nk

~, OFFICE OF
Rssss R.H. EVANS, 1921 F stnw,
COMMISSIONER OF DEEDS FOR ALI
STATES AND TERRITORIES.
NOTARY PUBLIC.
Telephone 053-3. Hours from TO i:30.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27

VIII lbh b'i Il nav lldl We Will lc ttlll-
ing you Governor, this time next
year.
Mn BLAINE's health is sufficiently
strong TO insure him against nervous
proetration in case he should hear
from Chicago that he had been nomi-
mated.
SENATOR HALE's Smelling Commit
tee will take sniff of the political
atmosphere at Pittsburg next week.
The Democratic primaries for the
election of delegates to the State
Convention are to be held Saturday
and the interests Of Civil Surface Re-
form require that close watch be
kept on the Federal ofice-holders in
fhat section.
Big business, is it not, for COM
neittee of United States Senators?
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27

KEAL ESTATE INVESTMENT.
Safe as u. S. bonds; per cent, payable
quarterly; In sums 500 to $1,000; small
premium charged.
LOANS
In sums TO suit at per cent.
The above Is only small portion OF prop
erty on my books. For full list call at Office
for bulletins issued on LIST and 18th.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-27

The Cattleloniun is a proper name for
the ship that brought John l.. Sullivan
over,
The Irish standard., 1888-10-27
TYRONE

The result of the revision of the Dun
cannon polling district Of East Tyrone
is net gain OF 70 votes to the National
ist party.