Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1888-09-28
A VINE.

a VINE.
"I've been thinking said my wife, "thas
We ought to have a vine down there"
Down there" was the few square feet Of
soil which made up the front lawn Of cur
residence and as gre we're sitting at the head
Of the eight Of brown stonesteps which led to
our front door, naturally were at some
elevation over the lawn
Ii was a relief to me to find that my wife's
mind was dwelling only upon vines. had
Joined new club the week Lefore, and had
been expecting some little interrogations con
corning initiation fees. dues. etc, all prof
fered 70 civiiiy and courteously that 1t would
be impossible to wi hnold the desired infor-
nation, albeit | knew that following such
conjugai Interchange Of confidence would
probably come gentle reminder that I'VE
must be sure TO lay in the coal in August, as
the papers anticipate strikes next winter"
| replied most ordially 10 the vine sus-
gestiou, "A capital idea You mean it. Of
course. to be trained up the house frontT'
''Oh, yes, said Mrs John at will have
to be wired up. you know, and then trained
out about each window We have taken the
house on a long lease, and it will pay to
make such small improvements 10 the prop
erty."
assented with sufficient heartiness, still
little fearful that another silence on my wifes
part might evolve some reference to club
matters But Mrs. John was absorbed with
tue vine 1t and her imagination wese grow
ing together.
IL shall get some sort OF free growing ivy,
think she went on Illuminating II don't
like big leaved vine or q sprawliDg growth
up house side-somethins clinging and
close, sending its slender tendrlls out in eff
fectIve tracery of rich green against the
stone"
Like a woman's love-" ven.ured, knock
ing the ashes OH the end of my cigar, and
when the words rang out on the cool night
air they reverberated through space with a
painfully fat note.
IF you mean that womans love is a rich
green" said my wife coldly, Il agree with
you. The woman and the love are both
richly green to bestow themselves upon the
average man. Joun,r she broke Off quite
irrelcvantly, don't read 50 many cheap
novels. Stick to your business and your
clubs-oh, by the way, is the Pelham really
startedF
The Pelham was the new club. The cool
night air was no longer cool.
The felhamf' | repeated "Oh, yes the
Pelham" laundering easily and hopelessly.
II believe II opens shortly. I'll tell you what
I'll do, Nan, about that vine III stop ut the
florists III tine morning and send him over tc
see you"-anu then the baby cried and Mrs
Johu sought the secuSion OF the seconC hool
front
I hat is how the vine started, or, to be
strictly accurate, that Is low the vine did not
start
The next evening when | approached my
home shorty before the dinner hour, gave
tue premises the usual inspection which u
man is apt to bestow when le Is rather proud
than otherwise of his place, and was for a
momeut surprised to discover a wire cable
about one-eighth inch IN diameter stretching
from tins little mat of turf inside the iron
fence away up to the roof OF the three story
and basement house, and, for aught | knew
TO the contrary. considerably further. As
far as the naked eye could reach perpendicu
larry the wire went
For moment said was surprised, but
second glance downward showed me small
plant, perhaps six Inches in heish from
whose very heart apparently the formidable
length of the wire took source.
"Ahr | reflected with a smile, Mrs
Johns vine has become an established fact"
And may Us well state right here that the
vine seemed en- rely content TO exist merely
III tbat capacity.
AT first, of course, we expected nothing
more from 1t than to get used to its new sur
roundlngs, drop its underground anchors,
settle Itself TO work 1t were--but when a
week had passed and the vine had not seen
fit to take on a single additional leaf, much
less add to its stature by even the fraction of
an inch, ventured to ask my wife if she
had carried out her expressed intentions aud
procured "free grower"
"Oh, yes, indeed, the florist selected it him
self, he SAID that it was remarkably prof.. fic
IL growth, and tnat 10y fail 1t would make
Gno showing"
Well" | replied, facetiously, "all can
say Is tle sooner lt gets down to business the
better for the showing" Several more days
passed with the interesting specimen OF lori
culture remaining IN statu quo.
ii know what tie trouble with that vine
of yours, Airs. Joni, remarked as we were
sitting again upon TIE doorstep after dinner,
and as usual viewing the estate.
AZ hatf' ASKED my wife, quickly betraying
her Anxiety IN the matter
Its discouraged" WAS my reply; you've
given 1t too mucu wire; it's e ough to take
the ambition out OF the most enthusiastic
grower. can inaSlue tine poor tnIn. gag
Ing up tdat stretch o- cable, saying to itself
~ hat do they taSe me forf | wonder if
they think | am standard Oil company
vine even an octopus couldn't reach that
length and words to that effect You know
how it is yourself, If you viii paldou the
sang. Set yourself too much to do aud YOU
feel at once uue ual to anything Sydney
Smith says, FAKE short vlews,'' continued
warming with my subject, particularly as
my wIie made no reply, and IT'S good sound
philosophy applicable to vines as well as peo-
pie. Ii yOu uad carried the wire up to the
parlor window only, at first, md coaxed the
vine that far 1t would have seen that taking
the thing 10y easy stages, even the roof was
not inaccessible. BUT TO have its whole liA
work laid out on the start has broken its
spirit, crushed its enterprise, overwAeiI ed
it's
"Barker's, that's the NAME" interrupted
my wife suddenly and wholly paintellsibly.
"Excuse me, John, were you speakinsf I've
been trying to recall the naE,e of fertilizer
Uncle Joe uses on his fam don't think
this city soil Is rich enough The vine needs
more uouriShnent."
You might give il a course of cod liver
oil or few bottles q. beef, wine and iron"
| replied with sonr- asperity.
THE fertilizer was bought and freely ap-
piled, but at the end of week the vine Still
remained passive and apparently unintei~
eSted SPECTATOR.
"Is won't do, Annie,r I said. "Barker's
isn't strorg enough That bit Of botany
down in the yard there wants a summer at
the seashore, winter in Florida and spring
at German spa. ! would also recommend
free massage treatment"
To tell the truth, the vine was becoming an
incubus The nelchhols on the block mani.