St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-03-19

it down. attended to business and given |
the state a clean, cOOl-headed and SEN |
sible administration.
Saved From Fool Friends.
Sleepy Eye Herald.
Congressman Lind may well pray to
be saved from few fool friends. The
extravagant statements that some news
papers are making about his extraor-
binary career in congress, and the
amaZement which he is creating by his
brilliant efforts are doing him much
harm, but no good.
HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS.
:" Depew's Boom.
Oh, the boom, the bonnie, bonnie boom!
The boom of the bold De Peu!
1t is silyered DER with cast of thought,
l. But the Chaunceys are too few-un peu.
40 New York Press.
ell
II Something Original.
The Epoch
rs Assistant Ito Editor)-What heading
Shall put to this cable concerning
Gladstone?
. Editor-Great Scott, man, have you
mo brains or originality of your own?
Make it ''The Grand Old Man."
pAi Mamie Was Engaged.
Boston Courier
81 hear that you are engaged,
Mamie?"
sit is true.'
: ''Then mother was right"
"What about?"
"She said you would be engaged be-
fore leap year was over"
Looking for the Town Site.
Brooklyn Standard Union.
'What's the trouble nOw?" asked
nervous passenger on new Dakota
road, as the train came to a sudden halt.
"Oh, nothin' much," said the brakeman,
struggling to get away, ''the freight
ahead of us got Off the track and run
into the depot, knockin' it clear out O.
time, and our engineer can't tell just
where the town site is"
Very Considerable.
Omaha World
First Wayback Deacon (whispering)-
It's beginning to rain and there are only
two umbrellas in the vestibule.
Second Wayback Deacon-Who
brought them?
''Those two strangers in the back
seat.o
''Humph! Back seats is no place for
strangers. Show 'em into front pew"
A Natural Consequence.
Baltimore Herald.
Old Man Ito daughter)-"Clara, I dis
covered Nero lying dead in the yard
this morning."
Daughter-''I am very sorry, papa,
but cannot help it. You knew very
well that young Mr.. Harvard was COM
ing to see me last night, and you should
have tied the dog out of harms way"
Different Names.
Philadelphia Herald.
swell, Johnny" said the Sunday
school teacher to one of her little pupils,
~ understand there's new baby at
your house. What do you call it?''
''Why," said Johnny, with childish
frankness, mamma calls it little angel
but this morning papa called it darned
nuisance"
Got Home Early Then.
Omaha World
She-George, did you belong to club
before we were married?
He-Yes, my dear.
i"Were you in the habit then of stay
ing at the club until after midnight?'
mo, my dear"
"Oh, you weren't?"
= 'i:No, my dear. In those days didn't
have to stay out until my wife got to
sleep; hadn't any, you know"
-.p AGood Definition.
New York Star.
An anatomiSt in Science is response
BILE for this statement: Son the out
side of perfectly formed human being
there is nothing to distinguish the right
hand from the left, and no one can de-
scribe it in-wordS so that all ignorant
person can find it," 1t is not true.
There is geographical difference easily
indicated. Let man place the hand
upon the table, palm down, with the
fingers to the north. If the thumb
points to the east, it is the left hand; if
to the west, it is the right. Next!
Sometimes Happens.
Omaha World.
American Banker - Good morning
Patrick. What can | do for you this
Patrick-D' yez remember the money
| gave yeZ to send to ould Oirland fer
the eviction fund?
Eyes, l sent it, or rather its equiva-
lent"
''Wud yez be koind enough to write
an tell 'em to send it back, an mOighty
quick too"
l.El,i LEbot,c +ba o++ar0,, |
''Oi've jist been evicted meself, be-
gorry."
He Knew Too Much.
Philadelphia News.
A newspaper man, who has recently
returned from Lynchburg, Va, says
that Gen. Jubal Early, the old ''uncon-
structed REBEL" has no use for North
ern journalist.
''WhO'S that blankety blank reporter
you've got on your paper" he crustily
asked the editor of the Advance, shortly
after the Philadelphia mans arrival
ooh, he's Northern man."
The old eX-Confederate shrugged his
shoulders.
Il thought he was Yank."
'Why SOP"
Because, confound him, he knows
too much for SOuthener."
Very Demoraiizing.
Detroit Free Press.
In restaurant:
First Diner-What's the news from
the fight?
Second Diner-I don't know. hope
they'll both get knocked out. It's dis
grace to our civilization.
f. D.-That's so, and [ feel it as
acutely as you do, but if they must fight
I'd like to see our man win.
S. d. wouldn't | hope he will be