The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1888-08-01
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Not bad riot--A patriot.
Minister of the interior-Victuals.
One for ascent-A penny balloon.
Always carries off the palm-The hand.
Economy is the father of fat bank
account.
The man most looked up to-The one
in the moon.
An unatural curiosity The calf of
cow catcher.
AS soon as man commences growing
bald he ops growing hair.
The dishonest butcher is always willing
to meat his customers half-weigh.
Money is nothing to me, )" said the
tattered tramp as he turned his pockets
inside out.
1t is curious how sweet a honey bee is
at one end and how bitter he is at the
her.-Lite.
The wife who carries on her husbands
pawnshop after his decease is truly
'loan widder."
An African tribe is governed bya ruler
who has no tongue. He is not only the
King but the King dumb.
improbable stories in newspapers
ought to be placed under the head OF
marine intelligence. -SDtings
70 keep woman out Of sulks the
easiest way is to keep her in silks. Only
slight difference between U and /.
Jack Goodfellow's Small Brother
"Jack, is there any past tense of due2"
Jack gloomily)-"Yes, dun. ."-Hareard
Lamp6on.
When young man detects the first
evidence of hair on his upper lip he feels
elevated, when in reality it is sort OF
coming down.
Very few people of the present day
ever saw or can tell what petard is; but
a politician knows it is something man
can hoist himself with or by.-PicGyune.
! met her in the giddy whirl.
She struck me as pretty girl;
| And now I've made her mine for life,
She strikes me as an angry wife.
-BOs on Courier.
First Domestic-"Wat's all that row
up -stairsl" Second Domestic-"0h,
that's nothing; just the master scolding
the missus about my cooking. = Omaha
World.
1t is satisfactory to learn that Henry
NJ. Stanley Is alive and we'll somewhere
| in Africa, although his postal facilities
are somewhat obs,ructed. - Pr0sid nee
Journal
The girls are all heeting show,
For mans illusion given;
Their smiles OF joy, their tears of woe,
Decetful shine, deceittul flow,
| There is not one true in seven.
-AercurB =
When a young man sits in the parlor
! talking nonsense to his sweetheart
that's capital But when he has to stay
in of evenings after they're married :
that's labor.
J A leading man among the Chinese in
| New York, now defunct, used to say
that he could tell all his countrymen here
] by their pig-tails. He can't now-dead
men tell no tails.-Sgtiags.
You say you wonder why
A clever man lkel
Am unlucky.
tried 10 run a-wel
A temperance hotel
In Kentucky.
Hooking Bird.
A man ''stops" at a hotel when he
lodges for one night: he "stays" when
he is well fixed; he ''puts up" when he
is given a sky parlor; he is 'guest Of
the landlord when he does not pay
PiedyURe.
Enraged Husband Maria, 1 can en-
dure this existence no longer | am
going to blow my brains out. Wife
/ calmly - "Don't attempt it, John.
You have never had any success
in firing at small targets. - Chicago
Tribune.
She walked into the dry goods store
With stately step and proud;
She turn'd the frills and laces DER
And pushed aside the crowd;
She asked to see some rich brocade,
Mohairs and grenadines;
She looked at silk Of every shade,
And then at velveteeus
She sampled jackets blue and red
She tired on nine or ten,
And then she toss'd her head, and said
She "guess'd she'd call egain.
-SVtiRgs,