Waterbury evening Democrat., 1888-08-21
GROCERY GROssNESS.
A Comedy, Drama in One Act
 Taken from Real Lir3
Dramatis Persone: Mrs. Owebill, 9 Regu- lar Customer; Miss Oldstock, Her Ess- ter; Mir. Dunmore, Meek ans
 Long-Sufferins Grocer.

ter; MT. Dunmore. . Meek ans Long-Suffering Grocer. Mrs. O. looking about-Now wnst in the world shall get for supper! Lot me see, how would some baked apple aDnp- i lings do, deara
 Miss O.-Just the thing, should sa-. Mrs. O.-Wel, let's look at the c-ples. Have you any choice apples, Mir. Dunmore' MT. D.-Yes'm, here are some of the finest, fifty cents peck; how many will you havet
 Mrs. O. (eating one)-Wen Crunch munch), 1 hardly know (munch-murcn1, guess they're too dear (munch-muucn), think will look at some codfish. HNs~ you any real nice boneless cod! MT. D.-Finest in the market, rEs'am; here are the goods.
 Mrs. O.-What do you think of some picked up fish for tea, dear?
 Miss O.-Good as any thing, I should think tastingl, this is nice fish.
 Mrs. O.-(Tearing of strip) So 1t is; (chew-chew) how do you sell this, NrE. Nun more! (Chew-chew) MT. D.-That IS something extra, Es' am, twenty cents pound-
 Mrs. O.-(Stiu chewing.) Oh! tohew- chew) how exorbitant! (chew-chew) I can't think of paying that (ehew-chew). I guess will take some raisins and have rice pud- ding. Let me see some raisins> please
 Mn. D.-Here are some extra L00don layers, ma'am; fine lot, eighteen cents only.
 Mrs; o. teating spray)-They are nice, ain't they, dears
 Miss o. (also oeating)-Yum-yumy yes, very nice indeed.
 Mrs. O.-You may (gluck- gluch9 send me a pound of those, please. Now then (el'fck- gluck), want some crackers. Have you any that's good, MT. Danmorel Mir. D.-Yes, ma'sm; heRe are sone line soda waters, fifteen pound.
 Mrs. O. (tekins ene}-Fiftsen cents | Dear me (crack-crack), how high they are; tcrack-crack) well, 1 must have pound of them. Try them, dear (crack-cracFs do you like them?
 Miss o. (sampling them)-Yes (erack- crack-cracl1), they'll do.
 Mrs. O.-Some cheese would be nice.
 Miss O.-Yes, with the crackers
 MT. D.-This IS new lot, ladies, choice, mild, and only twenty cents pound.
 Mrs. O. (slicing of quarter sectton)-, It looks nice (chomp-chomp); yes, teat is nice; but twenty cents a pound (cAomp- chomp) Amt that rather steep for cIeesel
 MT. D.-Oh! not at all, ma'am, not st all steep. You can't duplicate this Ill town. Mrs. O.-What do you think, my dear; would you like some cheese.
 Miss O. (helping herself-Yes, think SO; and this is (smack-smack) just delicious (smack-smack1 but it's too high.
 Mrs. O. (chomp-chomp)- Yes, indeed, but (ohomp-chomp), we'll take a Ealf a pound of it any way. Miss O.-Yes (smack-smack), that will be thousands.
 Mrs. O.-Have you any nice butter, Mr. Dunmorea
 Mir. D.-Plenty of it; gilt edge, -xtra creamery, forty cents, ma am. Mrs. O.-Forty cents! Oh! oh! why t2o we have to eat butter. And suppose it. but terine, too. Dolly, can you tell good b--tter' Miss O.-Yes, of course I can. Let mo taste it (scooping out a big piece with the | cheese knife), that's good, pretty good, any way.
 Mrs. o. Casting but I don't like the flavor. Show me some ether, please.
 Mr. D.-Here is some not quite so good, l though it's not so bad. at tfEirty-ti HE am l Mrs. o. (lick-lcl1)-Not so bad goodness that's strong enough to do housework | (tew-tew). No, guess l won't take any but 1 ter, but you may send some fresh eggs, if 1 you have any real nice fresh ones. Let me | see, well, send me dozens please. Is there any thing else, Dolly: Mir. D. (sotto voce) w mder she dCesn' t want to taste these eggs. l Miss O.-Nothing else that know of. Mrs. O.-I guess that's all. Please send l them right up, MT Dunmore. Oh, yes there's pickles. What kinds have youi l Mir. D.-Girkins, caulifower, onions, chow chow, pigs feet and tripe, ma'am. | Mrs. O.-What kind dc. you like, DolI2s Miss O.-The onions are my favozite, I l think, but like chow-chow as we'll | Mrs. O.-Well, let us see the ChoW-choW please; 1 think we will take some of that MT. D.-There it is, ma'am, fresh and clean; in bulk or by the bottle Mrs. O. (tasting)-I don't fancy that 1 much, dear; taste it and see how you like it. Miss O. picking out a chunk of cauli- fower)-Oh, it's real nice, it's got lets of cauGfiower in it. Let's get some l Mrs. O.-Well, let me see. How do you l sell 1t, MT. Dunmore2 l MT D.-Thirty quart, ma'arn. 1 Mrs. O.-Thirty. Well, you may send me pint. Now, then, think that Is all. l Please send up the things at once, ard Mir l Oweblu will call and settle. (Exit ladiesD
 MT. D. (plunging the cheese knife into l a comedy keg of oleomargarine, and thrust | ing his arms knee-deep into his trousers | pockets) dog my granny's cats 1! That's cool enough to give fellow bad | cold. Mir. Owebul will call and settle, will
 he? We'll if he does, I'll be apt to find 1t 1 out, and joyfully surprised in the bargain
 MT. Owebil, if am not mistaken, hasn't
 had touch of remorse since the collectors dun horse and wagon made him call, and if ain't greatly mistaken he will have a doc
 tors bill to Jungle up when those apples,
 raisins, cheese, codfsh, pickles and things
 begin to get more familiar with their sur | roundings. Great grief! but some people
 are indurable. Them that pay as they go
 are particular, but them that tick as they
 go are exacting. Alack-a-day, if it ain't the
 people themselves it's their horrid ways |;
 but it'll all come out in the wash, suppose.
 -Frdnk B. TTelch, in Philadelphia Grocer.
 The Farmers Wife,