Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1888-11-09
The MIDDLERlBS.

Oae day Mr.. MiddIerib read in his
favorite paper a paragraph stating that
the sting of & bee was sure cure for
raeum a:ism, and citing several instances
which had been cured By this abrupt
remedy. Mr. Middierib did not stop TO
reflect that paper is very apt tos say any
thing; he only thought of tbs rheumatic
twing that grabbed his knees once III
while, aud made life burden to him.
He read the article several times and
pondered over it. He understood thGt
the singing must be done scientifically
and thorough ly. The bee, as he under
stood the article, was 10 be gripped by
the ears and sat down upon the rheu
matte Joint. and held there until ID stung
itself stingiess. He had some misgiviDgs
about the matter. He knew it would hurt.
He hardly thought it could hurt any
worse than the rht umatism, and it had
been SO many years since he was stung by a
bee that ne had almost forgotten shat 1t
felt like. He had, however, g general
feeling that it would hurt some. But
desperate disease required desperate
remedies, and Mr.. Middlerit was willing
to undergo any amount of suffering If 1t
would cure his rheutism.
He contracted with Master Middierib
for limiteI supply of bees, humming
and buZzing in tho air, but Mr.. MIddlerlO
did not know how to get them. He felt,
however, that he could safely depend up
on the instincts and methods of boy hood.
He knew that If there was anyway Id
Heaven whereby the shyest bee that ever
lifted two hundred pound man off the
clover could be induced to enter wide
mou.hed bottle, his son knew that way.
For the small sum of one dime Master
i 20
wit. Six bees, sex and age not specified;
but, as Mr.. Middlerib was left in uncer-
tainty as to the race, it was made obliga-
tory upon the contractor to have three of
them honey and three humble, or in the
generally accepted vernacular, bundle
bees. MI Nj. did not tell his son what
he wanted with these bees, and the boy
went off with his head so full of astonish
ment that it fairly whirled. Evening
brings all home, and the last rays of the
declining sun fell upon Master Middlerib
with a short, wide mOuthed bottle, COM
fortabiy populated with hot, i'll natured
bees, and Mr.. Middierib and a dime. The
dime and the bottle changed hands. Mr..
fdiddlerib put the bottle OF bees in his
| coat pocket and vent into the house, eye
ing everybody he met sGspiciously, as
| though he had made up his mind to sting
| to death the first person who said "bee"
TO him. He confided his guilty secret to
| none of his family. He hid his bees in
| his bed room, and as he looked at them
| just before putting them away, he half
wished the experiment was safely over.
| He wished the i'm prlsoned bees did not
| look go hot and CROSS. With exquisite
care he submerged the bottle in basin
of water, aud let a few drops in on the
| heated inmates to cool them off.
At the teatable he had fearful fright.
Miss Middlerjb, in the artless implicitly
of her artles8 a.ature, sa!di
81 smell bees. How the odor brings
up"
But her father glared at her and said,
with supeIfuous harshness and exscrable
! grammar:
"Hush up. You don't smell nothing"
WhereuPon Mrs. Middlerib asked HIM
| if he .had eaten nythiDg that disagreed
with him, and Mis- Middlerib said:
"Why, pap and Master Middlerib
| smile "a he wondered.
Bed time at last, and the night was
sultry and VAIN. Under various false
pretenses, Mr.. MiGd!eri5 strolied about
the house until everyone else Was in bed,
aud then he soUgAt his room. He turned
the night shade down till its feeble rays
shone as dinly as death light
Mr.. MidGlerib disTooed Sly-very
slowly. When at last he was ready TO 30
| numbering to his peaceful couch, he
| heaved profound sig h, So full of appre-
hension and grief that Mrs Middterib,
who was awakened by H. said if IL gave
him so much pain to go to bed, perhaps
he had better sit up all night. Mr.. Mid
! dlerib said nothing, but checked another
sigh and crept into bed. After lying
still a few moments he reached out and
| got his bottle of bees.
| Il was no. an easy thing to pick ont
! one bee out of bottiefuI, with his fin
| gers, and not g ct into trouble. The Grst
bee Mr.. Middlerib got was little brown
honey bee that wouldn't weigh half an
ounce if you picked him up by the ear3,
| but If you lifted him by the hind legs,
would weigh as much as the last end of
q bay mule. Mr.. Middierlb could not re-
| press a groan.
"What's the matter with your" sleepy
asked his wife.
1t was very hard for Mr.. MiddIerib to
say be caly felt hot, but he Gid it. He
didn't have to lie about 1t either. He did
| feel very hot indeed. About eighty-six
| all over, and about one hundred and nine
!
reversed the bee, and placed the war like
terminus of 1t firmly against the rheu-
matte knee.
1t didn't hurt so badly as he thought it
would.
Then Mr.. Middlerib remembered that
| when q honey bee stabs a human foe. it
generally leaves its harpoon in the
wound, and the invalid knew that the
only thing this bee had to sting with was
doing it, work at the end OF his thumb.
He reached his arm out from under the
sheet, and dropped this disabled atom
of rheutmaism liniment or tho carpet.
Then, after s9conG of blank wonder, he
began 10 feel round for the bottle, and
wished he knew what he did with it.
In Che meantime strange things had
been going on. When he caught hold of
the first bee Mr.. Mtddierib, for reasons,
drew it out in such hcsto that for a time
he forgot all abont the bottle, and its
remedial contents, and left il uucOrked
in the bed, between himself aud his in
nocent wife. In the darkness there had
been quiet but general emigration from
thu bottle. The bees, with their wings
logged with the water Mr.. Middlerib had
poured upon them 10 cool and tranquil.
izs them, were crawling aimiessly about
over the sNGST. W nllS MI. wis
feeling around for it, his ears were sud
denly thrilled and his heart frozen by q
wild, piercing scream from his wife.
'Murder" She screamed, murder!
Oil help me! Help! Help"
Mr.. MiddIerib sat bolt upright in bed
His hair stood on end. The Djght was
warm, but he turned to ice il a minute.
"Where in thunder" he said, with pal
lid lip, as he felt all over the bed in fren-
zied haste-"xhere In thunder are them
Internal bees?"
And 6 large "bumhla" with sting as
pitileas as the firger of scorn just then
climbed up the inside of Mr. Midilerib's
night shirt, until it got squarely between
his shoulders, aud then it felt for his
marrow, and said calmly:
"Here is one of them"
Aud Mrs. Middlerib felt ashamed of
her feeble scream when Mr.. Middlerib
threw up both arms, and with howl that
made the windows rattle, roared:
Take him of, Oh, land OF Scott, some
body take him of!
And when q little honey bee began tick
ling Mrs. MIidlerio's foot, she Shrek
ed that the house was bevitched, and i'm
mediately went INTO spasns.
The household was aroused hy this
time. MISS Middlerib and Master Mid |
dlerib and the servants were pouring in
H. IA to he