St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-01-06
ODD BITS OF HUMOR.

A serious affection of the throat
Hanging.-New Haven News.
On the front tier-The bald-headed
man at the ballet.-DetrOit Free Press.
When law suit is put off it is by no
means always worn out.-New Haven
News.
Tobacco men will find no difficulty in
turning over Il new leaf at the begin
ming of the year.-New Haven News.
What kind of a ring is not round, has
no metal in it, and will fit no finger in
the world.-A herring.-Burlingt
Free Press.
We heard of a man the other day who
was so hard up for tobacco that he tried
to white pipeful out of plug hat
Burlington Free Press.
Michigan makes more shingles than
other states in the Union, but, curiouSly
enough it has no more than the usual per-
centage of good bOyS.-Burlington Free
Press.
He (at very late hour, with deep ten
derness)-How can leave thee?
She-Really, Mr.. Slayer, | can't tell
you. wish to heaven to | cOuld.-EX-
change.
Ruskin says imam should resemble
river" We do not know what he means,
but suppose the reason is that i'll order to
amount to much in society he should
own couple of bankS.-Lowell Citizen.
The hotels in this country will not be
affected by the drop in coffee any more
than they were by the rise. Beans,
chicory is always dOg-cheap.-Detroit
Free Press. ~
Wife Ito unhappy husband)-I
wouldn't worry, John; it doesn't do any
good to borrow trouble. -
Husband-BOrrOw trouble? Great
Caesar, my dear. | amt borrowing
trouble; I've got it to lend.-Epoch. {
Teacher-Mr. Bagster, can you give a
practical instance of the virtue of self
denial? ~ Il,
Bagster-Yes, sir; man who can
hear snake story without ringing in
something about whisky.-Burlingto
Free Press.
Old Lady Coming to York)-COnduc-
tor, there amt going to be a collisin, l
hope.
COnductOr-I guess not.
Old LADY, want you to be very keer-
full. I've gotfour dozen eggs in this
Observation-Disclosures.
Mrs. Popinjay-Now. dear, you won't
forget, will you, that tomorrow is the
twenty-fith anniversary of Our wedding
day?
Mr. Popinjay-Dunno, Guess I'd bet
ter tie a string around my f1nger.-Bur-
lIngton Free Dress,
Tramp-PleaSe, sir, could you help
me with trifie? L am out of work
Citizen-Oh, cheer up. You shouldn't
borrow trouble.
TT don't, sir; but I'd like to borrow
a dime to drown it in.-Tid-Bits.
1.-THE State of Virginia evidently
thinks there isn't enough talking in the
United States senate,'' observed the
snake editor.
"Why?" asked the horse editor.
''She has elected Barbour to sue
coed Mr.. Riddleberger."- Pittsburg
Chronicle.
A Pennsylvania editor wants the
women to quit wearing bustles because
Eve never wore one. We think that
until the editor can prove that Eve
never wore a hustle he'd better pay
strict attention to editing his newspaper
and leave political matters of this nature
alOne.-Rochester Post-EXpress.
Patient-Tve taken all the medicine
you sent except this one bottle and |
don't seem to feel any better.
D0ctOr-YOurS must be an aggravated
case. Farmer Acorn'S COW was took
down at the same time you WIZ, an
Civ her just the same medicine exactly,
an it cured her.-Life.
TWO LETTERS.
Hers
Sealskin sacque.
Please, dear Jacque,
His
No seal jacquet
Can't stand racquet.
Detroit Free Press.