New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-02-09
THE ADJUSTABLE CEILING.

Accident is often the mother Of invention,
which rejoices in the rare experience OF having
several mothers. II is equally true that the
most important events often grow out of in
significant and unloOlScd-fOr causes. These
reflections arc suggested by our contemplation
OF the Assembly celing-from safe distance.
Every one must have been struck with the I'M
mistakablc panic which the disclosure regard
ing the ceiling has produced in body that is
too often without the fear of God before its
eyes, and does not even seem to stand in awe
Of the newspapers. The question naturally
arises whether this situation does not teach us
some striking lesson, whether it does not bring
with it some suggestion Of future good. We
answer unhesitatingly that il does both of these
things.
1t is obvious that the Assemblyman does not
want to die i'm his sins. He lives in them with
an air of tolerable contcntmcnt, but the idea
Of dying in them is evidently repugnant to HIM,
so much so that one is led to suspect that he
would rather not die at all. The thought of
the mighty blocks of stone that seem so firmly
fixed in the splendid arch above him being
really in motion, and slowly grinding their
edges together until they shall hurl themselves
down upon him. fills him with such terror that
ne has only sufficient mind present with him
TO last through motion to adjourn. 1t needs
no great exercise Of logical reasoning to see
that if members of legislative bodies. while
they are engaged in the transaction of public
business. could be kept in constant fear OF
death by some artificial means, such as, Tor
example, a ceiling that was always going TO
Grop. but never did, all the mean and sOrdid'
motives that too often actuate them would be
driven from their minds, and they would be
continually in state of spiritual cxaltation,
having all the essential characteristics of
dcath-bed repentance. They would lcgslatc
with one eye on the ceiling it is true. but the
other could be firmly turned in the direction
o. the public good, and there would be no eye
left to look toward the lobby. No man would
allow himself to he Influenced by corrupt con-
siderations in voting for bill if he believed
tlat the next moment a twenty-t0n chip of
granite might take him between the shoulder
blades. In the first place. he would not know
what to do with the money; in the second,
there would be no room in his mind for such
thoughts. lie would be thinking of higher
things. Legislation under such circumstances
at all events. be performed with sense of
solemn responsibility. and with a view to the
possibility that there is a place Of eternal pun
shmcnt, after all, which could not fail to be
of great public benefit. Good bills would be
pushed forward as fast as possible to get a
crcdt-marl< with the recording angel while
there was time, and bad bills would stand very
little chance at all.
Now how is this particular kind Of legislative
ceiling to be secured? There can be no in
srperablc obstacles in the way. IF modern
ingenuity can devise an instrument in which
the rise Of the mercury in thermometer gives
IN alarm of fire, it might cOntIive method by
which the growth Of immortality in a legislative
atmosphere should set in motion machinery
for lowering the ceiling, first in threatening
way. or, in extreme cases, dropping it alto
gether. Or if this is too delicate task for
instruments, a properly qualified person could
be placed in charge of machinery for causing
the blocks forming the ceiling to give a mild
rumble when a bad bill is introduced to crunch
together horribly when it is reported favorably
from the Committee of the Whole. and to come
down with a crash upon the final passage.
1t may be said that it would be impossible
TO find men willing to be elected to the I.ecis-
laturc under such circumstances. But OK
pclicnce shows that the number of citizens
who arc ready to brave any peril. however
great. involved in holding Office is ALWAYS far
greater than the number Of the Offices.