The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1888-05-02
HUMOR OF THHDAY.


Beef-canning is put-up job.
A shady set-A group of trees.
A fowl tip-A ROSTERS comb.
A paper-hanger sticks to his business.
The last thing in shoes-The wearer's
heel.
Out on strike--a defective lucifer
match. Merchant IrdreLer.
Sleepy Hollow-"G "Good nightn over
the telephone Boston Bulletin.
can roads lead to roam," remarked o
tramp, studying guide board
GrdDhic.
The butterfly which from the rose
Had tried TO sip with deep content.
Thought chow penurious this fow'r,
For it will only give q scentln
Albany Express
Little Charlotte, four years old, was
leaning her alphabet. When she came
to xyz & she looked up, tired and dis
gusted, and impatiently said: where's
the rest Of 'em!'
Fair Matron-''Won't you let your
wife take chance in this lottery"
Husband-sOh, no; she never draws
anything worth having" "Wcll you
know marriage is lottery, sir" Eyes
-er-that is-well, put her name
down."
His best girl was out walking with
him, and he Shot beautifully plumaged
bind. "Oh, Johnl how could you XIII
the dear creature2r "Why, Susie,
thought you would like it for your Sum
day bonnet" ''0hl you dear good,
thoughtful fellow"
GLOW many of you are thereln asked
voice from an upper window, of
party of swaits.n -Four was the
reply. divide that among you," said
voice, as q. bucketful of water fell,
''like the gentle dew from heaven,n on
those beneath. Cairo Messenger.
We see by dramatic exchange thata
Mr.. William Patterson attempted the
title role in "Hamlet' with the usual
result. C., the company walked home.
So at last the time -honored mystery OF
who struck Billy Patterson is cleared up.
He was stage struck. Albany Expsoa.
lie had told her that business called
him TO Europe and that he might be gone
year. With a pale face and eatingIheart
he nervously awaited the effect. Finally
the girl spoke; "You seem a tritle
nervous and excited, Mr. Sampson she
said "Are you afraid of being seasickln
= The Epoch.
praised her beauty rare
Her face, her form, her dress
For she was wondrous fair,
And knew it, too, guess.
She tossed her queenly head
With moton proud and free,
And sWeetly. braVely said.
You'll find no flies on met,
ciereiand Sun.
Bobby was at a neighhor's, and in rc.
sponse to the offer OF a piece of bread
and butter, politely said "Thank you. -
''That's right, Bobby" said the lady,
81 like TO hear little boys say thank
YOU" "Yes, ma told me must say
that If you gave me anything TO eat, even
if it wasn't nothing but bred and
butter. - Iid-Bas
Man is largely the architect Of his own
fortune, and yet strong and well de-
veloped man works hard for $i.23 or
81. so per day, while small, second eai-
tion sort OF man with an abnormally
developed wart on some portion OF his
anatomy grows wealthy in a dime
museum, and laughs the world TO scorn.
NQH Cify Bliszqrd.
VHow that you are going to marry my
daughter would like to know something
of your faults.n Very wei, sir ''D0
you smoke or chewr ~Noyer did
either in my life "Do yon deink
"No, sir. don't drink or gamble n
patronizS horse races or swear or read
trashy literature. And, now, after the
wedding, where would you advise me to
livei"t I'm Heaven, my son. .n-LincolN
Journal