The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1888-04-11
All gentlemen attending this
reception will be expected
to wear a white shirt.

The inference was as plain as the pim-
pies on Judge Gildersleeve's nose. They
thought we'd attend with an army blank
ct thrown carelessly over our shoulders
The object was to let US know that Mrs
Judge Gildersleeve did not look upon us
as knowing what belonged to manners. 1t
was all right, We didn't go. AS to
whether the Gildersleeve ring came out
ahead opinions differ. Our account Of the
party, headed "Gathering of the Vul-
tures," is still going the rounds of the
press. In that article we proved Judge
Gildersleeve to be an embezzler and a
horse thief, and we adduced positive evi-
dence that Mrs. Judge was broken down
and played out fortune teller who had
been compelled to skip from st. Louis.
The judge called at the Kicker Office next
day with shotgun, but when we brought
out more letters proofs that he had
served time in three prisons and that Mrs.
Judge still had the workhouse cut on her
hair when she arrived in Arizona-t the
Judge did not shoot.
The Jackass Hill set next tried to make
US sing small. They got mad because we
weren't putting them in every issue. Col.
Decker had two shillings worth of repairs
done to his mule harness, and the Kicker
didn't notice it. Mrs. Professor Frothing-
ingham turned an old silk dress top-to-
bottom, and the Kicker didn't come out
with notice that she had received an
other $500 dress from Worth. Major
the front door Of his adobe, and the Kick
er didn't come out and list it as one of the
enterprises bound to bring in new settlers
and boom real estate. It was therefore
determined to down us. Lily De Lisle,
the red-headed daughter Of the one-legged
county clerk, made her debut and we were
not invited to the blowout. It was an
action intended to break our heart, and
we promptly countered. It was on our
tip that the sheriff went up about 10
o'clock that evening and gathered III two
bigamists from New England, an embez-
zler from Ohio, and fugitive from Chi
cago, all Of whom we're looked upon as
the cream of society, and were airing
their frills and scallops at the grand de-
but.
We are here to stay. We put up our
own shanty with our own hands. We
board and lodge ourself and we have not
only got the cost of living down so fine
but are getting our white paper SO cheap
that we can make money on list of thirty
subscribers and three pages of dead ads.
We are going to run the Kicker after our
own style, whether it pleases the bigbugs
af Jackass hill or the half starved coyotes
in Poverty hollow. While we don't han
ker after invitations to euchre parties and
church socials, we don't propose to take a
snub from any set
While we are willing to boom the town
we don't propose to sit up nights to let
the outside world know that some citizen
has added bath-tub to his dug out, or
that some merchant has just received
fresh wad of bed ticking.
There have been hints thrown out by
the court house ring that we are to be
starved out. Try it on, gentlemen! We
are now S15 ahead of the game, have pa
per enough on hand for ten weeks and our
living expenses last week footed up only
81 cents. We came to stick