Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1888-08-09

"There goes another new word y
said his wife in a solemn voice, and
she wetted a cloth and laid it on his
forehead, as she repeated to herself,
telegraph what a funny wordl'
Blewitt was in despair. Could it
be that all the common things of life
were to him a dream? Had he ever
ridden on the cars? Did he ever own
a moving machine? Was Their ever
a telegraph pole in tine front OF his
house? He turned bis eye and looked
out. He only saw the tall post and
long pole of the well sweep. Along
the other side of the road ran dense
forest. He was willing to swear that
he had once owned nice meadow
where that wood ives. Backed up
against the log fence was an OK cart
with a heap as large as a young lib
erty pole. Down cellar he could hear
the banging of an old fashioned
churn. Helooked up the road to the
east and saw the road was full OF
great hemlock and pine stumps, and
over it the doctor was coming on
horseback, with saddle bags before
him.
Blewitt was a man of determine
ton, and he arose from the lounge
and went to the door TO consult with
his wife.
Maria, said he, "there has been
enough of this foolishness. You
stare at everything / talk about, and
/ can't locate myself, or seem to fay
in with my surroundings. Now will
you answer me just one question:"
Certainly l willif Understand it, .
said she.
"Well, then, who is president OF
these ere United States?''
"Why, John Adams, ofceurse, she
said.
Blewitt sank down and whispered:
''Then you never heard ofCleveland
swingin' round the circle?"
"No, never" she answered.
"Then all right. Shoot me or put
me in bag and lay me away up
garnet. j have got through" said
Blewitt, and he went back to the
lounge and fell asleep.
When he awoke it was Sunday
morning, and the whole family were
stirring around, getting ready for
meeting. His wife of whom he was
somewhat proud, had put on dress
with waist about nine inches long and
skirt SO tight she could hardly walk,
and on her head such n bonnetl 1t
made Blewitt hold his breath, but he
had got through talking. The boys
had on suits OF full cloth and shirt
collars seven inches wide. Blewitt
smiled, and said nothing. At last
Mrs. Blewitt came to him and asked
him if he was going to church.
Certainly, certainly" said he,
anything to accommodate. Tell one
of the boys to hitch horse on the
carriage"
TOP carriagel There you go
again"
"Well, then, "roared Blewitt, "hitch
on to the stone boat, hitch on the
OK cart, hitch on to anything. Have
it your own way"
"Why, we will go on horseback
you on the saddle, on the pillion be-
hind" said the wife,
Gan right" said Blewitt, and away
they went.
Blewittmade some adverse remarks
about the singing at the church,
which was led by deacon with a
fiddle. The sermon was too long too.
1t lasted two hours, On his way
home from church his wife appeared
to be in fear of something and urged
him to hurry up. Heasked her what
allied her, and she told him in a
trembling voice that his queer talk
had made the minister think him
bewitched, and she feared he would
be burned or drowned.
"What kind of country is this,
anyhow asked Blewitt.
Then Mrs. Blewitt reminded him
that in New England several had
thus died, and that everybody be-
ieves in it and the church was death
on witchcraft.
'"Then / guess we had better light
out from here" said Blewitt, as he
clapped spurs to his horse.
Away they went, rattle-te-bang,
over stumps and logs and stones,
and there was rattle and roar be-
hind and he knewt they were after him.
They came to log bridge over a
brook, and they struck it so hard
that down it went, Blewitt and horse
and wife, and with yell of despair
he awoke--yes, awoke; for the chair
had tipped too far back, and he was
in heap on the floor, with his head
in a pan of applesa and his feet in Mrs.
Blewitt's work basket. He heard the
rafting yet, and he looked out OF
the window to discover its source,
and saw that the boys had started
the reaper in the field wheat. One
of the girls had just driven into the
yard with the top carriage, and was
just taking out his daily mail, and
had offered him telegraph dispatch
about his hops. His wife was put.
ting in n tenor to the racket with a
sewing machine in the front room,
and the hired girl was backing the
cooking range.
With a pleased smile Blewitt saun-
tered out to the wheat field, and, as
the reaper stopped, he said: Darn
the good old timesl These ere times
is good enough for me-"
whats that father?" said John,
81 thought you was in favor of the
real, honest, reliable, good old fash
Toned times of a hundred yearsago?"
"Never you mind, John" said the
smiling father. "You can go down
and buy that Thompson colt you've
been wantin', and let Charley have
your side5ar buggy; and-say, if the
wheat amt takin' no hurt you may
go down to Barnum's circus to-
morrow and cut the wheat next day
He looked down at his diagonal
pants and white Marseilles vest, and
muttercd as he went to the house
Darn the good old times These ere
times will dew fur mel"-Prof Gouge
in Albany Journal.