Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-07-26
ALL SORTS.
The Maid and the bee.

The Maid and the Bee.
A.yell rang out!
The distant wood
Re- echoed with a cry;
Twas such shout
As Stentor could
Not eqaul If he try,
/ hastened there
The Quiv ring air
Seemed racked as ifwth pain.
And saw maid
Deep in the glade,
Shrieking with might and main.
Springing to her asked to know
What made her yell and tremble so;
She said she ID plucked bumble-bee.
Thinking 1t was black-berree.
--Binghamton Republican
Republican-"I hope that you can
see your way clear to vote with us on
the whisky question in our platforms"
Prohibitionist-"Not by a jugfull."
At the Seaside: She bathing for
the first time in her new suit)-"Why
Charles, how strange! 1t feels just
as though I had my shoes on"
Charles-"Hold up your foot, and
let's see." She (screaming)-"Why,
it's crab!--Burlington Free Press.
Husband Whose wife has been re-
proving him for smoking in her pres
ence)-"You often used to say before
we were married. 'Oh, George! l do
so love the odor of a good cigar"
Wife" Yes that sort of thing is part
of a young lady's capital"
Hon. Tim Campbell to Hon. Tom
Dimmecratic ticket" Hon. Tom
Reed (sententiously)-"As an Eng
llshmen, am pleased. What do you
| <b;,,ly tho ID ann M t;oly pIJn,,
Tim (sarcastically)-"EzaC hanyman,
I rejlce."
"What does all that pistol shooting
in the car ahead mean, CONDUCTOR"
asked a frightened passenger. care
we attacked by train robbers?"
Worse than that worse than that"
replied the conductor, with blanch-
ed face, ga couple of men are trying
to take staw vote"
100, ma'am said the tramp CRATE
fully as he shouldered his bundle and
prepared to start On again. 81 don't
keer for nothin' to eat, thank you, but
I'll be obleeged is you'll give me two
or three o. them there BISCUITS.
don't carry no weepins, and they've
got a savage dog at that next house"
Chicago Tribune.
Ethel-"Is it true, Clara, that you
are engaged" Clara-"Yes, dear"
Ethel-"When is it coming off,"
Clara-"Why, you silly thing, not at
all. It's only summer engagement
and doesn't count. "-Washington
Critic.
The Court-"How is this Mr.
Johnson! The last time you were
here you consented to be sworn, and
now you simply make affirmation"
Mr.. Johnson-"Well, yo' honah de
reason am dat l .spects l amt quite
SO suah about de Jacks OBJ dis case as
de odder.'
Newspaper Canvasser "a few years
hence)-"Don't you want to subscribe
for the Daily Civllize?" American
Citizen-"No, I've got no use fol
newspapers" Don't see how that
can be-" "Why, you see l have a
private wire Of my own to the base
ball grounds. Omaha World.
Pastor (dismissing congregation)-
ode membahs what am pervided vic
umbrellas will please wait till l take &
look At ,em. Since de mysteriou.
disappearance of my own umbrella
last Sunday, dar an dark cloud OF
susdicion Aoatln over:.dis yer, church
which hab got to be dispelled!'-.
Puck.
Jones wrote TO friend invited hin
to dinner the following Monday. H,
t finished his note with P. S.: lie
f me know if you are disengaged." The,
second thought struck him and h,
! added another, to this effect: lie
) me know, also, if you are engaged,
! To make quite sure, he added a thire
in this shape: "Let me know in an,
: case. New York Star.
/ A Legitimate" barn. stormer recent
: ly returned to the city on foot after al
! unsuccessful starring tour in Shakes
,, pearean characters. A friend accos
: ted him and asked him what luck h,
, had had. Luck" the actor replied
, why, down there in Jayville, Ia,
, county l played to four kerosen,
lamps, and two of those went out afte
, the first act."- America.