The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1888-01-04
Pith and Point.

tiful poor girl.-EpOch.
WHY say gun goes off? The gun stays
there.-Journdl Of Education.
Nor in favor of free raw materials-the
man who slips in mud-hole.
A PARTISAN mechanic has built locomo-
tive to accomplish speed of ninety-three
miles an hour.
THE little child of Arthur Dodge OF Block
Island has six living grandmothers and
four grandfathers.
A KENTUCKY jury has acquitted a man
named Pendulum of murder, and 80 he won't
have to swing.-Chtcdgo Tribune.
THE record of business failures for the
year 1887 shows a decrease of 200 in number
but an increase in liabilities of $53,O0,0OO.
FASHION papers state that the dudes col
lar is steadily getting higher Good for the
collar! Let 1t continue to rise until 1t hides
the dudes ears
A LANDLADY saw an impecunious boarder
handling a large roll of greenbacks and she
very naturally wondered how such a roomer
gained currency.
Proud father Il believe, my dear, that
that baby knows as much as 1 do" Mother
gazing at the infant: " Yes, poor little fell
low. "-Ne,o York sun.
IRATE student: Don't you ever sweep
under the bed, I'd like to know?'' Calm
chamber-maid =" always do; prefer it to
dustpan '-IdrUdrd Ldmpoon.
in that state who has been at the pillow for
sixty-eight years. 1t is time to call the old
man to dinner.-Aha California.
The following advertisement appears i'm
a Boston paper: Wanted-a person to
take dog to walk mornings The best of
references required. Apply" etc.
SHE: Liam oh de liben, Brudder Eli!
Did you come on de kyars or by private
conveyance" He: "Private conveyance,
chile-I walked."-Hdrper's Bdzar.
THE Calcutta woman who had solid cut
glass bedstead made for her will save lots
of time generally wasted in looking under
the bed for a man.-Phlddelphtd NeWS.
THE announcement is made that Anna
Dickinson, having partially recovered from
a severe illness, goes to Florida to further
recuperate, and that she goes as very poor
woman as well as an invalid.
ONE of the sights on Fifth avenue, New
York, is the daily promenade of a set of
triplets, all girls, who are escorted by two
nurses. The children are five years old,
alike as peas and always beautifully dressed.
PHYSICIANS are just now having crush
of patients who have, or think they have,
throat troubles and are afraid of cancer.
The trouble of Germany's crown prince has
started up a regular cancer scare and physi-
clans are profiting thereby.
A FRENCH philosopher asserts that {" he
is the happiest who makes the greatest
number happy" and the French philoso-
pher is right If, with the most of mankind,
he thinks that the greatest number is num-
Der one.-BoSton journal of Education.
SPIELBERGER (who came in late Christ
mas eve and forgot the stocking business) !;
"Vot ged you, mine leedle sohn? Hal I
gfe you dot Mise drompet you hat daig sooch
good care ohf since der last Grisdmas You
pc goot poy dis year, unit you ged him again
next years'-Puck.
TYPHOID FEVER recently developed at the
,t,trN Tia tntt
other medicinal measures it killed some,
but it also cured several patients who had
suffered for some time from insanity. Fry
sipelas has been known to do the same
thing.-Medical Record.
"GIvE me some particulars. about the
fauna and flora of your region" said Bos-
ton lady to Florida hotel-keeper. And
the poor man hemmed and hawed and finally
said: 1--WE get all our meats direct from
New York and set the best table ever seen
in the place. '-Hotet Gazette.
A YOUNG lady living in Philadelphia re-
ceived a special-delivery letter. The mes
senger handed her the book to sign for it.
She took the book, and instead of writing
her signature she wrote: Dear John: Glad
to hear from you. Come up Sunday night"
She had answered the letter!
MY sister Mary had little lamb once
and it died. with some professional assist
ance from the emeritus professor of ethical
butchery and physical sausage-handling in
our town, and mighty good chops we got
out of it, too. You never half appreciate a
lamb until it is dead.-Burdette.
THE marriage announcement for this after
noon at Christ church of Mr.. Asher Ayres
and Miss Louise Conner has been unavoida-
bly, postponed by reason of the fact that Mr..
Ayres is detained as juror in an important
case now pending in the supreme court
advertisement in Macon (Gd) Telegraph.
Mr.. EDIsoN's photograph preserves a
.lrA D.,t
conversations can be preserved that long
without the monograph. For instance,
there is the celebrated conversation between
the governor of North Carolina and the gov
ernor of South Carolina,-LouiS0ale Courier
Journal
AN African traveller says the Intoxicating
liquor now chiefly exported to Africa from
Bremen and Hamburg is a poisonous distil
lation from the potato and produced very
cheaply. Chemists state that there is more
fusil oil in it than in any other known
spirit. The natives give it the appropriate
name of Death.
THE Albany Journal notes a case that is
quite out of the common line of things. Al
old man who is the holder of government
bonds to the amount of $1,000 has recently
made proposition to the county commits
sioners to make over the interest on these
bonds in exchange for quarters in the poor
house during the remainder of his life. Al
his death he will bequeath the principal t.
the county.
THE early spring will witness decided
novelty in shows in this country. At any
rate nothing like the proposed performance
has yet been seen in this part of the world
though Vienna is already laughing and ap
plauding over the new company. A mar
named Conrad has brought together ant
trained large number of exceptionally in
telligent monkeys, which not only play al
entire drama so that it can be perfectly
understood but also furnish the music of
regular orchestra.
AN old traveller has discovered a uniqu,
method of feeling the hotel waiter as t,
secure the best results. He says: =" At tn,
beginning of the first week at the hotel
should the attention of the waiter prov
satisfactory, / quietly take five-dollar bill
from my pocket, crease it across the cente
and with a pen-knife cut it in two pieces
At the end of the meal present the waite
with one half, placing the other in m
pocket-book with the remark that if hi
attentions continue satisfactory will at tn
end of the week present him with the othe
half. This scheme works like charm"