The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-04-02
BRIGHT BITS.

kENTucK TEACHER (of infant geography class
Tommy Blood may tell us what strait is;
Tommy Blood-It's jest the plain stuff 'thout
nothin in it.-NeU York sun.
Bob INGERsoLL is so irrcverent that, if he
should see death coming on n pale horse, he
would look around right away for the red
headed g1rl.-JouT1ldL of Education.
THE new Democratic paper in Chicago is TO
be called the Globe This will do, but it would
have sounded better to call it the Earth. There
ism { a man in Chicago who wouldn't take the
earth If he got chance.-PsOrid Transcript.
CUsToMER-Are these neckties strong
Snopman-Strong Why, sir last week |
sold one to a gentleman as was u 'ankerng after
suicide, and e liked it so much that e used it to
anS isSef, and it bore is weight beautiful
London Globe.
A THIEF was about to relieve Wall street
operator of his handkerchief when a by-stander
called the latters attention to what was going
on.
Let him alone" said the broker, good,
humoredly; 1--WE all have to begin in small
way down here. "-Judge.
Miss WALDO (of Boston, Yes, Mr.. Wabash
attended four Weddings last week, and three
more are on my tablets for this week.
Mr. Wabash from tho West-Indeed, Miss
waldo quite prOfuSiOn | S'pOSe in Boston
leap year makes great difference in the num-
Der of weddings.-NelC York sun
A LITTLE GIRL in New York was in the habit
of going to the Episcopal church, and one day
she came home and asked her mother if the
prophets were hung on the commandments as
gifts were hung on Christmas trees for she
heard the minister say: On these two com
mandments hang all the law and the prophets -
-MetrOpOlitGl
MAN of the house aroused by knock)-Come
now, what do you want here at this time of
night?
Stranger-Excuse me, sir. but could you let
me have a candle and a couple OF matches? My
dog and my little girl have fallen into your els
tern; and he's a valuable dog and-There hear
him bark !!!-HdTUdrd LdmpOOn.
WILLIE" said little Mamie who had been to
church with her 6-yearold brother, what
makes the preacher say Amen every time he
gets through with sermon?"
Willie paused IN a deep study for some time
and then, with the air of one who has solved a
mystery, said: Maybe it's way he has saying
period out loud. boston Courier.
FIRST U. S. MAN-Ever been to Canada2
Second u S. Man-No; have your
Yes it is very singular country. 1t SHOWS
200 days in the year
what do the people do the other 1856 days?"
They sit ground with their ear muffS on
and wonder how long it will be before it SHOWS
again. It's not much of a country for picnics,
lightning rod men and raising honey. TEXAS
SiftingS.
A LITTLE BOY up town was at breakfast the
other morning and the waiter was putting Jumps
of sugar in his coffee Whel the fourth lump
went in the nov nut his hand on the walters
arm. amen, ~ he said briefly.
why, Tommy, what do YOU mean by that?"
inquired his mother greatly shocked.
That means | We got enough replied the
yOungster with his mind on the devotional ex-
erclses.-W dskington Critic
REV. 'RAsTus HEELUP Gn the midst of his dis
course, addressing Brother Smith. who is in the
congregation "Brudder Smith, yous pretty
good at tallCin', suppose you give a zampe OBJ
hypocrisy, which is de subtle oh my discourse. 8"
Brother Smith (who suspects that Rev. 'Ras-
tus has tempered with his poultIyl-"A minis
tab Oh de gospi in hen roost on a dark night
am zample oh hypocrisy, sab" Confusion of
Rev Rastus. )-Tecds Sttings.
SHALL we play for a little money, Miss
Smith, lac said, tendery, as they sat down to a
game of cards 'Or simply for lover"
"Oh, think it's wrong to play for money
even if the amount is trifiing."
Then we will play for love"
yes"
And if win, Miss Smith, he said, still more
tenderly
Then YOU don't get anything, of course; cut,
please. "-Neio York Sun.
WHAT do you mean by iostlug against me,
siryN fiercey exclaimed the man with the brstl-
ing hair.
1T was as much your fault as mine. sir" re-
piled the man with the SLOUGH hat, but if you
want any satisfaction shall be happy to give
it to you. There is my card
What calculated the man with the bristl-
ing hair, looking at the card, ~. j. Sum-
cigarette manufacturer My dear sir accept
my sincere apology. am proud to make your
acquaintance Shake! | am a keeper of a
lunatic asylum. "-Chicdgo Tribune.