New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-07-29
TIE THORNY PATTI.

J Fcow-citIZens saw IL stated In local paper
this morning that had done nothing during my ionr
wears OF Office that my term had pariakcn 100 largely
Of the nature of a summer vacation, that had not
taken a proper interest In my work-n short that l
have been indoent. Before proceeding to moro
weipbty matters and showing you to what desperate
and even dangerous measures soldiers WIDOWS VIII
resort in trying to get their deadly clutches on pen
SON. I will briefly touch on the charge made Dy inc
local paper.
| Passing over the thousand and one miscellaneous
duties of the Presidential Office Will refer to bur ono
| tbIng-the appointing OF public officers is there
no work In this? Gentlemen, there Isl VIII sho"
YOU that It Is the hardest work have to perform
MY friends Is II nothing to wade through bushei o
applications recommendations, petitions letters, en-
dorsements and other literature In relation 10 INC
post-oIlce at Ague Centre, Indiana, and after days
and nights Of research and careful consideration ap
pont the man post master who IS evidently the best
qualified and then find that he IS serving term In
tbe penItentdary which won't expire till after bis
term in the postoilcc viii be out And, gcntiemen
then TO ask the Governor Of Indiana to pardon him
so that he can get in back of the general denVery
and begin associate with the registered e'teIs'
| and to have that official refuse!
| And fcow-citlzens, as l have bowed my head III
thought on this matter my private secretary has
come I'm and told that my special envoy to sister
Republlc Is at that moment drunk and trying to lick
a wooden Indian tobacco sign
| With the man appointed governor Of prosperous
Western Territory convicted OF stealing ham pelorc
| he could receive his commission and get our OF MS
state with tho sheriff after Of my Internal revenue
collectors with the prospect that he Is going 10 eaten
| them and with the postmaster of prominent
Western town sitting patiently by the mail-SacK
waiting for Il to get full before he sends out-"hae
ioy is there for the Chief Executive? Who can charge
him with leading a life Of ease and luxury VINO
can say he has than his share OF pleasure when
he finds Judge he has appointed has been loaded iul Oh
buck shot by spring gun near his neighbors WOOD
pe and he has got TO look up another man Tor juuge'
tell YOU my friends It Is nothing but disappolnt-
ments When the man doesn't fail you, making IL
necessary to~hunt up another or get one pardoheu
somewhere, the place goes back on you. YOU may
not believe It, but l once got good man ior lot
eign minister, who, as l may say, hah got mo
gauge Of himself on all kinds Of foreign liquors anu
was accordingly be trusted, and 1t is fact that
had to plant that man in pretty nearly dozen different
courts trying 10 find place that would have him
considered him one OF my best appointments, there
being no Indictments against him so far as anybody
could discover, but when the man was all right the
place failed read this want advertisement In
European paper with heavy heart
WANTED-Posltion as Minister from United States
at European court Sober and INDUSTRIOUS. IN
derstands of horse and buggy Wiling 10 mlIA
and make himself generally useful no opIecu nrn
K,' this office.
My experience, gentlemen, in welding the appoint
ing power has been that It is laborous in high de-
gree I once appointed man postmaster I'm an Iowa
Office and While the commission on the way be
was convicted OF robbing hen roost In the dark OF
the moon. l appointed another to the same Once
and he was taken from me for cleaning out church
contrlbutionbox. l turned to another but LOST MN
on an old and trivial charge of murder in the second
degree with that frmness which is characteristic OF
hp
dog and was warned to leave the country. once
more tried only TO be told with bitter sneer that
the man had been lynchcd to large boXelder trce
two weeks before. Gentlemen, that one-legged he
publican soldier had TO be got out of that office, ana
as there were no more local Democrats to draw FROM
| sent right to Buffalo and got man had known for
twenty years, and he holds the place today
have been half buried with letters telling me that
nv postmaster at Waghaven, Michigan, couldn't read
letters a foot high that the man at Paradise valley
Kansas putting the letters into the iron mailing
boxes around the lamp posts as fast as they arrived
and had Just licked prominent citizen because he
caught him posting letter in one of the boxes; that
postmaster I'm Illinois drunk that one In Mis-
souri, was sober and they thought he going insane
or something; that my Minister to sweden always won
when he dealt the cards himself; that Territorial
Judge had Jumped his board bill and when the trial
came on before himself had thrown the case out of
court and taxed the costs to the landlord.
There is even another kind of Encouragement
have been subjected to, though I will say that it is
not common. IL Is that OF declining VIII read you
A letter which explains itself:
NV Deer Grower: Your letter putting me onto
how / had ben appnted p. NJ. heer was brot TO me
past the Office and thot he'd ask fer me ics fer Joke
and I'll be durneri II no didn't git your letter I'm
sory to dapH you ONCE The blamed ng DON'T
pay morc'n "a dolcrs year and conlln't ford to
out of The SELDOM whlshcy two bits beer Is cents
Other drinks In prOporshun or moro so: dld think
at ns that wood move one pool table table , b and ma
bar but | low It Will pay better TO put in another
and hazard and wheel and keno and stud polor now
but they say there is piles OF money IN Spanish monte
Office. Better give IT to Buck Bobleter-he jes has
SELDOM but no sporting layout and could give IL the
but The ledge You sent out cleared him In bout mint
He Is thnnderin good jedge fer this country; lie
dropped 200 dollars on my south faro table last mite
and never kicked a k elk Send out some more OF that
Kind Yours till deth
have been subjected TO such things, gentlemen
and then they all say have had life Of easel Is
nothing to promise a man an appointment as mis-
sonary teacher an Indian agency, have him press
your hand and thank you warmly and then go out in
the next and beat your private secretary out OF
SIC on tho old thimble-rig gamcl Is 1t nothing TO
have a fight duel just after you get the papers
all made out appointing him to some Office and then
have to go change them all for the survivor
How about when grand larceny snatches your man
away from you1 How about having an important
Office standing vacant for year waiting for your
man to get out Of close and illvenlatcd Jail to
sumo its important functions? How about when
forgery, arson, bgamy, poht larceny, contempt
Of court and dlsmantlcd hen roosts begin TO
claim their own, and that own are your best APP
poIntmenisl How about when your Minister 10 an
important and friendly country gets up on an equcs-
tan statue of General Bolivar at three O'Clock In the
morning and tries 10 nde I'm 'front.' How Is 1t when
of your choice appointments clubs lady temper
lecturer the head and gets arrested for It
not only arrested but convicted and shut upl Gentle
men, how about all OF these thingsl How about tho
inner life Of President when you know something
about II, anyhow Is IL all sunshnel Is 1t all roses
and daisies and those hind OF iowers' Is there no
work. Doesn't u man dasorve another term, when,
Ia