The National tribune., 1888-05-03
THE CHURCH.,
And the Men Who Run IL.
rBob Burdetts in Nsag York Star. |

Aopo DaFVttio w Afoto Auf6 otttfI
This" said the returned missionary to the
poor heather whom he had brought over, is
a church."
And the poor heathen greatly admired the
church. By and by he asked:
Who is the fat man with the big watch seal,
who looks at the church as though he thought
some of putting on a $50 bay window and rails
ing the rent $500 year? ?"
That is Trustee" said the returned mis-
sionary.
He does most of the praying, I suppose ?"
said the poor heather, who, in his blindness,
knows very little about the way we do these
things.
No." said the returned missionary, che
doesn't believe in praying; he is a Bob Inger-
soil man, and believes that nobody doesn't
know nothing, and that they know that he
knows that they know he knows they don't.
He is not member of the church, but he is a
good, clear-headed business man, good man
ager, strong on real estate deals, and so he's a
trustee. Doesn't take very much of Chris
tian for a trustee, except in the country. In
town church only wants a good business man
for trustee"
"And who is the man who stands in the
door and glares at the people as they pass in
and tries to keep them out 2" asked the poor
heather.
That is the sexton" replied the mission
ary. He doesn't believe in opening the
church for religious service at all. He says
the church was built to have swell weddings in,
and that for preaching and prayer meetings
and other side shGws of that nature the trus-
tee should hire hall"
" Who is the very young man who pushes
people out of the way that he may have room
to pass in, and sto0pS very low as he enters the
2O-toot door, and sits directly under the steeple
lest he should strike his head when he stands
up?"
That" said the returned missionary, is
the new superintendent of the Sunday school,
They are all that way at first. By and by,
when ne has forgotten every line of his beauti-
tul speech, when there are distinguished
strangers present, when he has started the
wrong tune to an entirely strange hymn, and
corrected himself by striking the right tune on
a key so high that the Chimes OF Normandy
couldn't ring second bass to it when he has
hunked, fair, square and outright on the first
10 questions in his question book he will know
less by ton than he does now, and be good
useful earnest, and humble Superintendent
He's only young and new, like an August per-
simmon."
Here comes the owner of the church," the
poor heathen said. :" He looks as though he
had decided to make pemmican of the sexton
and trustee, and not hold any service to-day"
No. that is not exactly the owner of the
church, the returned missionary said Is that
is the leader of the choir"
Who is that meek, timid little man who is
trying to creep in without letting the sexton
see him, and who has just taken off his hat to
the leader of the choir?"
" Oh, that is only the pastor of the church" :"
the returned missionary replied. "Will you
go inside?"
And the poor heather said he would, because
he rather guessed from their looks the sexton
and the leader of the choir had made up their
minds to settle that morning which of the two
should take the church and run it.