davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1888-03-23
A Valet as q Bogus Lord.

There was a horsey young Englishman
going down to Newport on the same boat
with me last summer. We struck I'D an ac-
quaintance in the barroom, and dined side
by side. Among the attractions of the boat
were number of horses and dogs that were
being carried from New Y orlz to the summer
city, and we went to look at Them Strolling
about among them was dandifed Young
man who might have been the owner of them
all for the airs he put on. 1t was delicious to
see the way in which he bossed the deck
hands and virtually took possession of that
part of the boat. 1t was also delicious to see
his hand go up to his hat and his manners go
down on their knees when he caught sight of
my companion. When we left him, his
master said: "Your internal climate seems
to have got into the head of that fellow of
mine. | doubt but I'll have to let him set up
for a gentleman on his own account
Last month | met my Englshman at the
Hoffman, and over a grog he remarked,
'You remember that fellow who had charge
of my outfit, last summer, on the Newport
boat?'
l told him did, and he laughed
''Gad" said he, che boned two boxes of
clothes from me and a pocketful of jewelry,
and the next heard of him he was passing
1Ol dill IIlSE 1Oiu here HI New L OK. lies
got niger to wait on him, and I hear he
ticks him every day."
"Why don't you show him up?' I asked
''What good would it dog" said he. "He's
bound to show himself up pretty soon, and
it's fun to watch him.
Sure enough, last week I saw note in
fashionable paper detailing how society had
been imposed on by another bogus lord and
how the lady who had introduced him had,
it was understood, given him money enough
to go to California, and spare her further
modification by his presence here. Judge
my amazement, then, when l called on my
Englishman today, to be received, with lofty
polteness by this very gentleman's gentle
man, back again in servitude.
sDo you want him to steal the rest of your
personal property?" I asked my friend
"He don't dare, replied that philosophical
citizen of the world. II lick him every day
now, and have promised to break his head if
catch him at any tricks. And, say"-
s'Eh?"
''You'd never imagine how he gets even"
elbow does he?'
'Every time [ thrash him he goes over to
the stable and thumps one of the boys there"
Alfred Trumble in The Argonaut.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1888-03-23
ExEcUTloNERS PAR EXCELLENCE.
Story of Marwood, the English Hansman.
A Disgusting Performance.

Story of Marwood, the English Hansman.
A Disgusting Performance.
The two men who doomed before the gen.
eral public as executioners par excellence
were Marwood, the English hangman, and
lsaacs, who from time to time has expert
mented in the Tombs. 1 have Marwoods
own word for it that at the last moment,
after the cap is pulled over the face, under
pretence of arranging the moose more care
fully, the presses with his thumb quickly and
with great force just below the Adams apple
with the intent successful, as he claims, of
deprlving the condemned of consciousness.
Whether this is a desirable feature or not, I
leave to hangmen. The ordinary mind re-
volts from any personal aid to glory, prefer
ring to leave all literal killing to the appli-
ances OF physical nature provided for that
purpose.
Marwood was voluptuary in his calling,
ana IN moments OF ,--ebriety found greatest
pleasure IN toying with the necks and Threats
OF his companions. Onone occasion when an
actor, well known and highly esteemed in
this city, was on grand tour through the
English provinces, on going to his dressing
room he found party of convivialists, who
had called to pay him their respects. There
was the sheriff, quite a dignitary abroad.
other officials and Marwood, the hangman.
Clad In the classic garb of Hamlet, Prince
OF Danes, the actor was a picture of manly
beauty, and Marwood, who had been drink
ing freely, placing his hands upon the actors
bust, SAID, What superb neck you have
How would like to put the rope about your
throat" Conversation turned upon the pleas
ant performance of this CHEEKY companion
and he gave practical illustration of his
throat pushing custom, very much to the an
noyance of the actor.
In the psrty was an American Upon him
MarWood attempted to experiment, but be-
coming somewhat rough in his treatment the
American, who could stand it no longer and
who was intensely disguised by the entire
procedure drew off end with appropriate ex-
clamation struck the little nuisance souarely
In the jaw, knocking him with great force
against full length mirror, which was shat
tered into fragments. That that ended the
call may be well imagined-Joe Howard in
New York Graphic.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1888-03-23
REDUCING THE SuTLER's SURPLUS.
How the Pennsylvania Boys Got Ahead
of the Extortionate SutIer.


of the Extortionate SutIer.
The regiment was next sent to Fort Craig.
In a few days they were assigned to Gen.
SigeIs command, and they set out on the
march for Fairfax Court House, hungry and
eager to reach their destination. No rations
had been issued before starting Soon after
passing Anandale a staff officer rode I'D to
Col. Heenan and directed him to halt the
regiment on the spot and await orders. The
officer was covered with gold lace and wore
an immense saber. His spurs were miniature
cart wheels and he gave his orders to the
colonel in broken English.
Soon suffers wagon appeared coming
from SigeFs headquarters. The boys thought
they We're in for feast, and wondered why
Sigel was SO thoughtful of their wants. The
sutler, too, thought he was in for feast,
having hungry regiment with full pockets
fresh from the Quaker City. One dollar
pound for cheese and other provisions
at like rates. AT the first shock of
such prices trade fell off, but, soldier
like, the men parted with their money
to appease their appetites AS business grew
brisker the sutler could not take the time to
put the money pouring in SO fast into his wal
let, SO he raised up the seat and slid the
money under it. A keen eyed sergeant in
Company Gsoon discovered this improvised
till and secretly cut slit in the curtain,
When the sutler would rise up to deliver his
wares, the sergeant would thrust in his arm
and draw out the money from under the
cushion seat Business now grew brisk, and,
as the sergeant literally distributed the
money around among the boys, they hushed
their grumblings and bought everything at
any price.
When the sutler- first discovered his loss
was never known, but the regiment had
hardly reached their camp ground outside of
Fairfax Court House when the same glitterine
staff officer who had halted them in the road
came galloping up and in angry tones de-
manded to know where the colonel was to be
found. He found him, and angrily told Col.
Heenan that Sigel would have him dis
missed from the service for permitting his
men to rob the sutler. ''Well," said Heenan,
in language decidedly pointed, ''let him try
it. I'm sorry didn't let the men shoot the
- thief" Disguised, the big sword and it's
bearer rode off to headquarters and was seen
no more.-Philadelphi Press
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1888-03-23
Sylvester Scott, the Bear Hunter.


In 1881 he started on a long hunt for
noted grizzly which had committed numer-
GUS depredations in Sonoma county for eight
years and been trapped and shot many times,
but always escaped His size, ferocity and
experience made him terror to the ranchers.
Scott's dogs brought him to bay in chenisal
thicket, and worried him all day; but as the
hunter did not come in sight the bear stayed
under cover. AT length Scott loaded his
'express rifle"-a heavy arm, carrying an
explosive bullet, first made for hunting lions
in Africa ventured near enough for the
grizzly to get a smell of him. At once the
monster charged, with the dogs hanging on
to his back and legs; but he paid no attention
to them and came on with such speed that
his head was within two feet of the muzzle
when the hunter fired.
~ can't say that 1 felt particularly scared,
but I knew had to make a center shot,
says Scott ellis big red mouth, set with
sharp teeth, seemed yard wide when I let
him have the load and he fell dead. He
weighed l 800 pounds, "-Exchange
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1888-03-23
The Cash Girls Life.

eyes" said the blue eyed saleswoman at the
lace counter, while her customer waited for
the change, 'the cash girls hardly ever go
back to school after they enter store Most
of them like the excitement of this kind of
life and study in books no more. Some have
gone nearly through the grammar school,
and can write as correctly and gracefully as
you please. A few find that working for a
living is no play and are glad to get out of it
by hook OF crook. But then, the majority of
them know all about the responsibilities of
life, young as they are, and strive to keep
their places like people of much worldly ex-
parience Of course they ought not to be
here They become terribly world wise little
creatures in less than no time. And it seems
to me that after they have been here year
they stop growing. 1t may be a fancy of
my own, but upon my word believe the ex-
ertion dwarfs them, New York Press
HEvery Day Talk," !
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1888-03-23
A BELGIAN MANAGERS Method.

An honest Belgian manager has hit upon a
novel method of indicating to the public the
moral character of his plays. 1t is by print
ing his play bills in different colors. Thus a
red bill signifies that the play is pernicious,
and that, therefore, mono but adults should
see it, A white bill indicates that the play
is moral, and that, therefore, parents ought
to bring their children to see it. Still again
blue bill signifies that play is on the
borderland OF morality, and that, therefore,
parents must use their own discretion in
bringing their children to see it. Lastly, a
yellow bill signifies that husbands should be
careful not to bring their wives to see the
play, although presumably they may go them
selves-New York Tribune
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1888-03-23
Persian Aperenticeships.

Although there is no law prescribing GER
lain wages or tariff for work in Persia, vet
general custom exists by which it is under
stood that particular trade or labor per-
formed is entitled to such compensation.
OF course the employe endeavors to obtain
more, but he cannot have just cause of COM
plant if he does not. Even the arts are
taught by form of apprenticeship, there
being no regular schools for giving instruc-
ton in one of the departments in which Per-
STA has won exceptionable renown. A youth
DESTROYS of learning how to illuminate or
make handsome painted mirror cases or ink
horns enters the booth Of master and for
several years serves as his chagird or APP
prentice. -Teheran Letter.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1888-03-23
Eating to Honor Somebody.

Personally, do not much believe in din
ners as means of testifying our regard for
our fellows. 1t always seems trifle absurd
to me, to call together a lot of men to eat in
honor of somebody. The respect expressed
by inducing dyspepsia may be genuine
Ovations and oysters, sympathy and soup,
relieves and roasts, enthusiasm and entrees,
homage and hominy, compliments and cham
payne, may all go very well together, but for
my own part would rather be one to join in
presenting my friend with some handsome
and substantial token of our regard, and as
for the dinner, l should prefer sandwich
and cup of coffee in quiet ner-Allan
ECrman in The Journalist.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1888-03-23
Siam's Sacred White Elephants.

The white elephant has blue eyes, is light
colored, but not whittier than Barnum's beast,
which, by the way, did not go from Siam.
The poor brutes here do not seem to enjoy
very greatly their sacred bondage, but tied
by the hind leg they sway back and forth and
beg for a nut as readily as do those in our
menageries. The oldest one wears brace of
ivories, which would make him quite sacred
to an ivory worker, but munches green grass
in q very unsacred way. Instead of being
housed in gilded quarters he is tied up in
dingy stable, and is attended by half naked
mahout instead of priest in sanity robes
Carter Harrison in Chicago Mail
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1888-03-23
The JeIe rraph's lightning Arr


To the uninitiated it is great puzzle how
the dangers of lightning are averted where
there are so many conductors of electricity
as in a telegraph office. More than 1900
different wires come into the Western Union
building, and run more or less directly to the
desks of the operators. Even when less
electric attractions are wanting, most people
confess to a certain feeling of insecurity
when the elements rage and wake up telrify-
ing flashes of forked fury. Nearly half the
operators are young women, and they may
be expected to share the general sentiments
of their sex concerning this uncertain and
wicked looking force. But science has pro-
vided an answer to this, as well as to almost
all other puzzles which stand in the way of
human progress.
Every wire, as it enters the building,
passes through the bottom of long narrow
board, and then again through it at the top.
This board is lightning arrester. If the
current is heavy, its first effect is to deprive
of it of much Of it's force. Should even this
fail to deprive the current of it's fatal power,
and it passes on to the top of the board, it
touches spring which drops instantly and
shuts of all connection with the operating
room. The spring is called the plush mag
net, and beyond it no overcharge of light
ming, whether proceeding from a storm or
from contact with other wires, can possibly
go. Absolute security from outside cleo
trical influences is thus insured. The wires
proceed directly from the street to the
switchboard in the operating room, where
they are stopped. The wires attached to the
machines in the room all run to this board,
and connections are established there with
the through lines.-New York Tribune
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1888-03-23
Partisan Elderly Bellies.

Partisan handles have lately taken to pay
ing their addresses to elderly DANES who are
what is called bien conservees, while youth
full beaties are rather left out in the cold.
The belle who is bien conservee may be so or
60, in fact, the older the better, provided
that the wig fits on well and that the rateller
has been put i'll its place by an experienced
dentist. A countess who is not at all old was
lately asked why she persisted in giving her.
self rather Anticipated appearance. Her
reply was characteristic of the times: "Mon
cher, l do SO to please the young fellows bet
ter If I failed to do so they would all run
after that horrible old bag of baronne, who
is 65 if she is day.-St. Louis Republican.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1888-03-23
Robby and His Pa,

"Pa," said Bobby, after long-long for
him-interval of silence, which had been de-
voted to trying to keep awake, "a boy at
school has got glass eye and he can see
with it"
'Nonsense!n replied the old man furiausly.
"If you can't talk sense, Robert, You had bet
ter go to bed"
81 don't mean, pa, that he can see with the
glass eye itself: he sees with the other eve. OF
couIxe. The Epoch. .-- -.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1888-03-23

Burt was - years old He came home
from Sunday school one day, and said he had
taught a class of little boys.
'What possessed you to do such a thingT'
asked his mother.
"Oh, got along FIRST rate. They began to
giggle, and l told them if they didn't quit il
I would lick every last one of them when
Sunday school went out The superintend-
ent said it was the stillest class there was. -
Detroit Free Press
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1888-03-23
4
poetrg*
A Cosmopolitan Woman.

She went around and asked subscripti ons
For The heather black Egyptians
And the Terra del Fueg;ans.
She did:
For the tribes round Athabasca,
And the men OF Madagascar,
And the poor souls OF Alaska,
So she did;
She logged, she said, to buy
Jelly cake, and jam and pie
For the Anthropophagi,
So she did.
Her heart ached for the Australians
And the Observation-Disclosures,
And the poor. dear Amahaggar,
Yes, it did;
Aud she loved the black Numidian.
And the ebon Abyssinian,
And the charcoal colored Guinean.
Oh she did!
And she said she'd cross the seas
With ship of bread and cheese
For those starving Chimpapzees.
Sure, she did.
How she loved the cold Norwegian
And the poor, ba'f.m melted Feejeean,
And the de IT Molucca Islander.
She did;
She sent pie and canned tomato
To the tribes beyond the Equator,
But her husband eat potato,
So he did;
The poor. helpless, homeless thing
(My voice falters as sing)
Yes, he did.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1888-03-23
An Item of Expense.

An item in the expense account of the
street railways which in the course of the
year amounts to good round sum is that for
salt used on the tracks in snowy or sloppy
weather. At every viaduct, curve and cross
ing man is stationed with bucket of salt,
busily sprinkling the tracks. When the en-.
tire street railway system of the city is con-
sidefed it will at once be seen that the out
lay for the material used and labor employed
reaches far into the thousands of dollars
CHICAGO Trihuna.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1888-03-23
A Very Old Stove,

Peter pruckenbrod, of Lancaster, Pa, has
stove that was cast in 1863 1t has but one
door, that for putting in wood in front, and
has what is supposed to be a coat of arms on
the front. On each side is the head of a
woman, and "H. w. Stiegel, 1863, Elizabeth
Furnace" At the lower corners of the sides
are Masonic emblems, and on the back the
figure of a man standing against tree
Chicago Herald.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1888-03-23

Washington Mother and little daughter
passing government building, over the door
of which is the sign, "Bureau of Statistics"
Youngest-Dearest, what are ''Statisticssn
Dearest-Oh, 1 don't know-fgures.
Youngest-Figures? Which do you mean
images, or Zone, two. threeE'-Harper's
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1888-03-23
In the Czar's Kitchen

Everything in the cars kitchen is kept
strictly under lack and key, and no one can
serve him anything except the maitre dho
tel, Frenehman named Brenger, who alone
attends the car at tahle.-Chicago Herald.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1888-11-23

New YoRK, Nov. 22.-At E15 o'clock
this afternoon fire broke out in the First
Ward Public School, Long Island City.
One Of the pupils Of the school had gone
into the basement and lighted gas jet.
The woodwork close to the jet took fire
and flame instantly shot up through a
crevice in the floor. Over 900 children
were studying at their desks in the various
rooms Of the school building When the
children on the first floor saw the flame
shooting up through the boards they
raised the cry OF "Firel" "Fire" In
stantly there was panic in every room OF
the school building The children rushed
pell-mell for the narrow doors, crowding,
jostling and striking each o.hcr in their eff
forts 70 get out. They were piled up Mt
the foot Of the stairways in heaps,
and all attempts TO bring order out
OF the confusion were at first fruitless, but
finally the lircmen and police were able 10
check the children. although they had TO
contend with an excited mob OF weeping
mothers that had appeared as soon as the
news Of the fire spread through the neigh
borhood The fire itself amounted TO little
and M soon us IL was eXtinguished an ex-
animation OF the injured was commenced.
II was found that while hundreds were
badly bruised on shocked no one was fatally
or seriously hurt.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1888-11-23
BELLIES OF BALTIMORE.
0 Women OF Mnrylnud's Chief City
lare Types OF Feminine Loveliness.

Tho Women OF Marylnnd's Chief City
Rare Types OF Feminine Loveliness.
Baltimore Letter In Philadelphia Times.
An artist who came here yenr ago to
study the types Of feminine LONELINESS Of
which this city boasts, undertook TO count
the Baltimore beauties. Every bright day
during the month OF May he strollod along
Charles and Lexington streets, thorough
fares lined with fashions emporiums and
always thronged with ladies'. Some days
the lines Of ovelincss filed past him 80
rapidly that he was unable 10 pick out tho
beauties fast enough. Frequently turning
10 let his eyes follow and feast upon some
form Of grace and rayishing beauty, other
charming specimens would slip bv him.
so that he experienced great difficulty in
taking the count. At the end Of the
month he declared that he had counted
5000 beautiful women, and that nine out
Of every ten girls that passed him were
pretty. lie rcckoncd that he easily missed
hundreds Of beauties, and that hundreds
more in the city didn't turn ont ON the
promenadcs while he was on the watch
Out Of all this array Of lovclincss tho
artist found but few women willing TO give
their lovely faces 10 the public. There are
lots OF very pretty aud ut tie same time
very poor women in Baltimore, but they
guard their beauty jealousy, aud artists
find few models here. In al stations Of
life the women Of Baltimore have tho
same neat, trim figures aud bright hand
some faces Nor are the beauties con.
fined 10 the upper circles OF society. The
working girls are Just rs pretty, and In
many instances their beauty h frcshcT and
clearer than that OF society bellies When
the Prince Of Wales visited Baltimore lao
snt one afternoon IN the big bay window
OF the Maryland Grub. NJ the corner Of
Charles aud franklin streets, and, like the
rest oi the swclls, oglod the girls ON tho
promenade. AZ the charming creatures
walked by -singly. Ia pain aud IN groups,
and Of all styles of beauty. the Prince
became ccstatic In his praises. When hc
had Toasted his royal ewes until they wcrc
suricilcd he LEI, the observatory, and in
the bottles II wine that followed no
toasted the Baltimore girls M the loylicst
women In the world.
baltimore" said he, team lay claim 20
possessing the handsomost women and
homlics, men Of any city In the country"
All Of the ladies Of baltimore are not
beautiful. Some posscu OIL the charms OF
face. figure and character while not few
are bellies because they have rich papas.
The culture and accomplishment Of Others
win them the coveted title Of belle.
Beauty, however, of either face or ngurc,
or both, may be- considered absolutely cs-
scntial in producing belle. aud while
there arr bellies In Baltimore who are not
beauties they have other charms which
win them the distinction. Blood and
beauty, genealogical trees aud ancestral
pride will secure an cntfcc into the eNclu.
elyo circles Of Baltimore society 10 which
money cannot buy admission.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1888-11-23
A Panic Ia a mig store.

CHICAGO, H., Nov ga man on the
top floor Of the Boston store was caught
in the act of stealing purse shortly after
o'clock today, and a foolish salesman
yelled tire" A panic was at once pre-
cipitatcd. The great place was Jared
with shoppers, mostly women, and on the
five floors there were probably not less
than 900 human beings packed tightly
together. A floor walker turned in an
alarm Of fire, and the allrighted women,
children and shop girls made u rush for
the stairwnys. Soon there was q jam, and
the weaker began to go down. A police
man and some OF the more coolhoaded
employees went TO work 10 stop the panic.
Before they succeeded, however, num-
Der OF people were seriously hurt and
many more were nearly dead from fright.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1888-11-23
A Dr.ncrndo Killed.

ST. LOUIS, Mo-, Nov. "a special TO
the Tod- DtPdich, from Dcnnlson Tex,
SAYS: Officers, after long chase from Sat
urday evening TO Tuesday evening, in the
and killed desperate supposed to be John
Barber one of the celebrated Kep Queen
gang Of outlaws. The gang lad killed an
Indian and were wanted Tor attempted
trnin robbery In tho Territory.