The morning news., 1888-11-26
BRIGHT BITa

HUBBY-I do wish that baby next door would
Keep quiet. It's yelling is terrible nuisance.
Wiey-Why, John, that's not the Smith S
ba5Y. 1t s ours, in the back room.
Huhby-ls that 50? The dear, little darling
NeIr York World.
A FoRTuNATE AcctDENT-Dlstress latter a
heavy crash in the kitchen below)-Gracious
Brid2et, hope you haven't broken that new
vase brought home today
Rrl iret-No, mem it's one o the limmn me
rnce pies that yes was abakin' this afternoon
The Ep ,ch.
'SwAcKHAMMER, why don't you give up that
abomnable habit of cigarette smoking:"
Jrooinsou, III do it if you'n quit writing
poetry for the newspa pers."
II was a severe struggle but Jrobinson
yielded, and the guarding angels of two young
men wept tears Of joy Chir'2g0 Tribune.
A SURE SGGN-Any important news in railroad
circles to-day asked the editor. as Faber rushed
into the office and hastily began to scribble on
pad
Yes, there must be frightfu accident down
the road. for when called at the Office | was
told there was no information for the press to-
DAY Puck.
JoHN FABER, the famous manufacturer of
Nuremburg, estimates that the people of the
United States use about 900 lead pencils
every year. This IS about two lead pencils
apiece Tor every man, woman and child III This
country, and yet when man wants to use
lead pencil. he always borrows yours.-Noyrts-
torn Herald.
rs that woman next door crazy :' inquired a
patent medicine man. II offered to sell her
some of my great specific for increasing the
appetite when she pushed me off the Stoop. set
her dog on me, and ran down stairs for dipper
of boiling water"
mo, she's not crazy was the reply ''She
keeps boarding house. ''-Neto Yorh; Sun.
MISS PRoPRIErEE OF BosToH (relating,-And
Of the entire number Of women on the BOAT my
aunt and myself were the only ones who were
not chewing gum
n
caily)-O, deah, How dweadfully you must
have felt, being so much out OF style. And
aw, pwesume there was some to be bought on
the boat?-THe Idea.
EVIDENTLY MISUNDERSTANDING - Painter
lwho IS looking for work, and has pestercd Nrs
Hobson beyon endurance That fence, madam
needs a coat of paint very badly.
Mrs Hobson 'impaJiently to servant)-ShoU
this man the front door al once, James.
Painter-Ah. this looks like business II
paint that door toryOu. madam, in good shape
FOR Sj.--Pttitp II. Weich, in the Epoch
- .APPLIcASr reE'PLAnh 77iswell. don't know,
nsurn.f You have q lerEe family ana I'm
afraid couldn't do the worS. ! suppose you
have great trouble keeping girls, don't vou:'
Sharp housekeeper indeed There is a
big factory futl of handsome young men near
here. aud every one of my servant girls goes OFF
and gets married"
Mas. G.-I understand you have had trouble
with your servant girl.
re. II. Not at all.
80, then was miSin formed"
1T was nothing | was go lg to have re-
ception, bat she had arranged for one herself
that night
And she gave hers up?"
No, gave mine up, so we are still the best
of friends Boston Courier.
JrsT ONE LEFT.-Wealthy City Man twho has
taken faucy to revisit his village birth place -
All, me. There is the little red school house
and yonder is the old cmlrch. How well I re
memb7r them But the dear, familiar faces
are gone. Not one remains to recall those
happy
Tue Oldest ilhabitant (advancing)-You're
Bill judd amt We? knew We the minute sot
fish in lS43, an if we've got the money handy
I'D be obleeged if ye'd settle for it. Puck.