Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-02-23
A white raccoun has been caught by a hun
ter Of Paris. Mo.

Awhile raccoun has been caught by hun
ter of Paris. Mo.
An awkward waiter frequently plays the
deuce with the tray.
Mexican labOrcrs ret 20 cents day and VIC
sincerely hope they earn It.
An expensive piece of sculpture. OF any
house is the bust" of water pipe.
Is there any cure for snOruing? asks an in.
quirer. Yes; marry II woman with a temper.
The adjective is the hustle of literature
defOrmity rather than an ornament-gen.
orally useless.
The unscllish sex lie (ardrntly)-'I'd give
a million dollars to win your love, Adelia.
she CASH
OF all the evils in the world respectable
vice is the worst. And how black is does
look when it's found out.
In tradin' mules de man wat dOan put up q
little fringe an IL few buttons on de turf gets
p0 bargain in animal Or boot.
A correspondent inquiries il the reason that
so many corporations are on their uppeTs
nowadays is because they have no soles.
IT the prn Is really mi.hticr than the
sword, we wonder why it doesn't turn on
some OF the poets and stab them to death.
I.ady-'Therel for the first time your bill i;
reasonable" Florist (cxcitcdly)-''Quck
Let me scc must have made mistake.
Real estate is so high at Wichita. Kansas
that boOtbaCkS. II is said, will give you a
''shinr" and pay you dollar for the mud or
your boots.
A great university in Chicago Is promised
by one Of the citys miIlionaireS. OF course
hog Latin will be included among the Gas
steal studies.
The kind of reed bird we get at present in
most Of the city restaurants viii stand up or
| the toast and cry ''chcstnuts," If you sa,
| keep oil the grass to them.
Not all the Georgia parsons arc getting
| rich. one in Epson county who has married
| Ill couples has received IN fees Just -, and
| that came from one man. The other 10 paid
| nothing.
Wifr-John, do you know that this is tho
| anniversary Of my wedding day. Husband -
| Why, no, it isn't. We were married IN April
Wife | am speaking ot my first husband
| John.
acknowledgements you are really en-
| gagged TO him. drar2 lie is forty. you say, ani
| you are twenty Just twice as old as you
| love. Dear me. when y0n are forty he will b,
eighty" Clara -"Good gracious, | hadnt
thought Of that"
An Indiana man Jumped of lightning ex
l
| meet Il woman to whom he was engaged tC
he married A few Years hence lie may bt
| trying to get on Il lightning express tain to
| get away from the same woman.
One OF the funny things in lite was, recently
| when four negro woinei, stood mp and wer
| married to four negro men The womel
were four sisters and the men were "a!
brothers.
For delicious titillating anticipation. cndln
in blank, empty nothingncss. an unsuccessful
| proposal of marriage may best be compares
with one of those sncezcs that don't come of
A Congressman who beard Rousc's versio
Of the Psalms sung and was assured tina
David wrote and sang them, said he now M
irrstoOd what was before mystery-wh
saul tried to Kill him.
Fred Gibson, living four miles from Cai
rolItOn, Nd. killed large eagle near hi
house. TWAS so loaded down with sleet tina
itcoud not 0y -
The international scientific congress Q
Roman Catholics VIII meet In Paris mex
April. and has for its object the PROMOTE
and development OF science for the defence {
the Catholic faith.
The Protestant Episcopal church of tn
United States reports tor 1887 a total of 437
49, communicates, an Increase OF 1921!
There is IN Increase Of ninety clergymen, Ill
| total being $, So.
The late CAPTAIN william Farren, of Fail
haven. Conn. LETT an estate valued at $500
COO TO his adopted daughter, Miss Sophia Fa
rem. on condition that she remains unma
ried. As Miss farren Is young and attrat
tive. she finds herself in a peculiar an
unpleasant position.
At recent church wedding In Kingston
N. Y. during the ceremony, while everybod
was lstning and quiet recigned, the bride r.
| 81. ola
and obey" A man standing In one of til
galleries broke out In penetrating under
tone: 'Obey, too, hey. well, well /"
Two years ago young woman OF Attic3
Ind, was courted by two young men, eac
wanting to marry her. She quarreled wit
the one she loved, and, for spite. married III
other fellow. The marriage was not a happ
one, and divorce followed. The other da
the young woman married the old lover vii
meantime, having become a helpless paralytiC
had to be held up In chair while tile cere
mony was performed.