Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1888-04-23


you through the querulousness or unrea-
sonsbleness Of your old father and mother,
it is only for a moment, and the star soon
comes ont clear again, and is seen from all
the balconies of the neighborhood. The
old people win forgive
YOUR OCCASIONAL SHORTCOMINGS,
for they several times lost their patience
with you when you were youDg and
slapped you when you did not deserve it.
Hail, evening star! Hang on the darker
ing sky yosr diamond ccronet.
But are any of you the star Wormwood?
Do you scold and growl from the thrones
psternal or maternal? Are your children
everlsstingly pecked nj? Are you always
crying: 'Hushp to the merry voices and
swift feet of their laughter, which OCCASION
ally trickles through at wrong times and
is suppressed by them until they can hold
it no longer and all the barriers burst into
unlimited gufTaw and eaehinnstion, as in
high weather the water has trickled
through a slight opening in the mill da n
but aflerward make wider and wider
breach until it carries all before it with ir-
resistible freshet. Do not be too much Of
fendsd at the noise your children now
make. II will be still enough when one
of them is dead. Then you would give
your right hand to hear one shout from
their silent voices or one step from the
still foot. You will not any of you
have to wait very long before
want il. Alas! that there
are SO many homes not known to the 80
ciety for the Prevention of Cruelty to
Children, where children are put on the
limits and whacked and cuffed and ear
pulled aud senselessly called TO order and
answered sharp and suppressed until it is
wonder that under such processes they
do not all turn ont Modocs and Mana
Sahibs.
What is your influence upon the neigh
borhoOd, the town or the city Of your resi-
dence?
I will suppose that you are star OF
wit. What kind of rays do you shoot
forth? Do you use that splendid faculty
to irradiate the world or TO rankle II? l
bless all the apostolic college of humorists
The man that makes me laugh is my ben.
efactor. do not thank anybody to make
ME cry. can do that without any assis-
tance. We all cry enough and have
ENOUGH TO CRY ABOUT.
God bless all skillful punsters, all repartee.
ists, all propounders Of Ingenious conum-
drums, all those who mirthtully surprise
us with unusual juxtaDosition Of words.
Thomas Hood and Charles Limb and Sid
ney Smith had divine mission, aud 80
haye their successors in theee times. They
| stir into the acid beverage Of life the sac
charine. They make the cup OF earthly
! existence, which is sometimes stale, eiler-
yesce and bubble They placate animosi-
ties. They foster longevity. They slay
folles and absurdties which all the ser
mons of all the pulpits cannot reach. They
have for examples Elijah, who made fun
of the Baalites when they called down fire
! and it did not come, suggesting that their
/ heathen god had gone hunting or was oil
on Journey or was asleep and nothing but
vociferation could wake him, saying: Cry
aloud for he is god; either lie is talking
or pursuipg or peradventure he slsepeth
/ and must be awaked." They have an ex-
ample in Christ, who with healthful
aarcasm showed up the lyicg, hypocritical
/ Pharisees by suggesting that such perfect
| people like themselves needed no Improve
ments. saying: "The whole need lot n
physician but they that sre sick"
But what use are you making of your
wit? Is it besmirched with profanity and
uncleannGss? Do you employ it in amuse-
ment mt physical defects for which the vic
/ Tins are not responsible? Arc your pow
ers of mimicry used TO put religion in con-
| tempt? Is il bunch of nettlesnme in
vec,iye? Is it bolt OF unjust scorn? sit
| fun at others misfortune? Is it glee at
their disappointment and defeat? Is il
bitterness put drop by dfop into cup? Is
it like the squeezing OF Artemisis Abslp'
thium into draught already distastefully
puugent? Then you are the star Worm
wood. Yours is the
FUN OF A RATTLESNAKE
trying how we'll it can sting. 1t is the fun
of hawk trying how quick it can strike
out the eye of a dove.
But will change this and will sup
pose you are star OF worldly prosperity.
Then you have large opportunity. You
can encourage that artist by buying h!s
picture. You can improve the fields, the
stables, the highway, by introducing high
er style of fowl and horse and COW and
sheep. You can bless the world with po'
mological achievement in the orchards.
You can advance arboriculture and arres,
this deathful iconoclssm of the American
forests. You can put piece Of sculpture
into the niche of that public academy.
You can endow college. You can stock
ing thousand bare feet from the winter
frost. You can build church. You can
put a missionary of Christ on that foreign
shore You can help ransom world. A
rich man with bis heart right-can you
tell me how much good James Lennox,
or q George Peabody, or Peter Cooper
or a William T. Dodge did while
living or is doing now that he is dead:
There is not city, town or neighborhoOd
that has not glorious specimc;s OF conse
Grated wealth.
But suppose you grind the face OF the
poor. Suppose when mans wages are
due You make him wait because he can.
not help himself. Slppose that because
that his family is sick and he has had
extra expenses be should politely ask you
to raise your wages for this year and you
roughly tell him if he wants n better
place to 90 and get it. Suppose by your
manner you act as though he were moth
ing and you were everything. Supposr
you are selfish and overbearing and AFRO
CANT. Your first name ought to be Attila
aud your last name Attila, because.
YoU ARE THE STAR woRMwoOD,
And you have embittered one-third, il
not three-thirds, of the waters that roll
past your employees aud operatives and de
pendents and associates, and the long line
Of carriages which the undertaken order:
for your funeral, in order to make the oc
casion respectable, will be filed with
twice as many dry, fearless eyes as there
are persons occupying them. The clumsy
pall-besrers may make the gates of you
sepulchre quake by striking your silver
handled coffin against them, but the
world will feel no jar as you 60 ont OF it.
There is an erroneous idea abroad thai
there are only few geniuses. There art
millions Of them; that is, men and womer
who have especial adaptation and quick
ness for some one thing. II may be great
it may be small. The circle may be like
the circumference of the earth, or NJ
larger than thimble. There are thou