River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1888-09-06
TE TRAVELLING HOG.
How 1t Behaves Itself When Sharing Its
Bed with a Fellow-Traveler.


Bed with a FellowTraveler.
The hotel register lay Hospitality
open, and l took up suffering pen
with which to splatter my autograph
over the list of late arrivals.
I'm afraid we're full" interrupted
the night clerk; ''that is if you want
room to yourself-you can have bed
in either % or 81"
My jaw fell--ll III
What kind of fellows are they"
inquired, feebly.
Mice gentlemen-tall. slim man in
%; short, fleshy man in 81"
Tall. slim man." l unused; "rll try
in No. 81"
I'm rather long and slender myself,
still there's nothing like economy in
space when it comes 10 hotel bed
stead.
| followed the bell-boy up to No. 81,
and in response to his rat-tat tat at the
door, | heard emphatic cultural inter
jections muffied under the bed-clothes.
/ didn't try to understand them; / had
reason to believe they were not at all
complimentary to me. However, the
tall man opened the door, gingerly,
and got back into bed, where he
assumed the shape of a gigantic let
ter V.
He was snoring loudly by the time ]
had undressed, and | cherished serious
intentions OF blowing out the gas and
leaving him to his fate. l crawled
timidly in on the off side. and grasped
the covers with a death grip. But ]
was tired, and soon, with a haTf-con-
scious sense of insecurity, / felt my
grasp weaken, and | dozed off into
gentle slumber.
A movement on the part Of my bed
fellow awolxe me, and horrors! The
covers were slipping awayi Is there
any thing to compare to the utter help
lessness with which a man, on a cold
night. realizes this awful sensation?
caught at them. frantically, and my
eyes bulged out in mad despair as a
Borean draught walled along the SER
rated edge of my spinal column. Thus
| lay, for hours, in half torpid state,
keenly alive to his every move, yet
unable to retrieve an inch of vantage.
The clock on the customs-hOuse struck
twelve, and was sinking into chilly
nightmare. when the fieud rolled over
against me with a restful sigh born of
warmth and comfort.
l couldn't stand It. I slipped out
onto the floor, crept round to the foot
of the bed. and crawled in on the side
next the wall Wrapping myself in
the voluminous folds of the blankets, ]
lay down. sincerely hoping he'd roll
on into the next county.
But he didn't. l hadn't been asleep
more than an hour, when I awoSe with
a sense of oppression in my left side,
and sharp elbow, at an acute angle,
lay Embedded in my complaining ribs.
| showed it away savagely. and he
foundered over like a pOrpOise il
shOal water, taking the covers with
him.
At that moment / heard the bell-boy.
with bell-boy's exaggerated attempt
at caution. blunder past the door and
rap at No 90
Its four o'clock, sir; bus'll be round
in forty minutes"
| got up. too. lighted the gas and
glared at my prosecutor. He was lying
west by nor'west of the bed. smiling as
If lie dreamed nature had made him in
a circle. And he continued TO smile,
all unconsciously, as | washed in q
lavish quantity of water and poured
the remainder into the slop basini And
/ think | had the towel as limp and
wet as any towel ever need be outside
the wash-tub. And when l left the
room the gas-meter was humping il
self, the door was wide open, and I'm
pretty certain that some body else than
No. % got 10 see how a hog slept
Detroit Free Press.