The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-04-22
BRIGHT BITS

BRIGHToNIANA-She-Th crisp, salt breeze
is very invigorating, don't you think?
He-Hes. can do any amount of beers after
it.-FNn
the Chicago record for the past fifteen years
This is another proof that thirteen il an un-
lucky number.-Lo1ceH Courier.
JoNEs-T see that a Philadelphia lady has
been arrested for beating railroad.
SmIth-Perhaps she had no husband to beat
poor woman.-OA city Derrick.
THE panic at a bull fight In Mexico, caused by
fire, will hereafter prevent many Of the most
refined and delicate ladies from attending such
exhibitions.-Nelc Orleans Ptcovune.
HUSBAND (sadly)-You are not what you used
to be, Fannie.
Wife tsshsrplylOf course I'm not. used to
be your best girl bnt now I'm your wife, and it
makes great sight Of difference lid BITS.
INVALID CLIENr-So this failure has swept
away all my property?
Lawyer--YeS, sir.
Now l can die content. There will be no
Will contest to question my sanity. "-Teras
SUttngs.
PATIENT Dumping from the dentists chair
and crying with anguish)-O! OF o! eel
thought you said you pulled teeth without
pain?
Dentist (smiling pleasantly)--So 1 do; it don't
hurt me any.-TerdS Slfttn0s.
BoBLEY-By Jovel l can't see how old
Grinders clerks can afford to live on the pay he
give them.
Wiggins-Arord to live? Why, man alive!
it's because they can't afford to die. Funerals
cost something nowadays Judge.
YOU'VE SPoRr-We may look for another big
blow in the Eastern and Middle States about the
Goth
Old Sport-How do you know?
Young Sport-Sullivan is expected to arrive
about that date.-Phtlddelphid CAL.
William Henry Belts, il you de-
red i'm ne ba nj AT MARI inra,
and John Parker deposited the same amount at
10 per cent, less per cent, who would have
most money at the end of the year?
w. II. Betts-Please, sir, the caShier.-IId-
Bits
Insurance AGENT TO agriculturlstl- Mr.. Hey
sede, don't YOU want to take out policy on your
life for $5,000s
Agriculturist-Naw, sir; old Jim Billiard took
out one of them things las summer an II be
burned if he didn't die next day.-Nelo York
sun.
HIaG1Ns-Sad thing this, about poor GagIey
Choked himself in restaurant, y know, with
piece of pie.
Wiggins--Dweadful.
Higgins-Just as he was reading one of his
own jokes about the Chicago girl and the pie
knife.-Judge.
THERE is not the slightest danger Of my
meeting the delightful fate which carried off a
girl in Spain the other day." said Fifth avenue
belle to her bashful beau
why, what happened to herr" timidly in
Quired the trembling youth.
'Oh, she was Rugged to death. "-Ne,U York
Morning Journal.
THE GENTLE REBuKE-Old Actor (who "can
remember Edmund Kean. sir''(-Well, young
ster. how did you get on in that scene?
Priggish young ditto--Oh. l knocked EN-,
sonny! Fairly Knocked EN- silly
OH actor-H'm! Extraordinary how some
Of you fellows manage to impress your indi-
viduality on an nce!-Jltdy.
A PARTICULARLY vigorous speaker at a WON.
ans rights meeting waving her long arms like
the sails of windmill asked:
IF the women of this country were to rise up
in their thousands and march to the polls /
should like to know what there is on this earth
that could stop them"
And in the momentary silence which followed
this peroratiou still, small voice remarked:
"A mouse !'-Erchunge.