Morning journal and courier., 1888-09-03
RR0POSED.

Shabby intruder-We were boys together at school, and yet you don't seem to recog- aize me.
 Banker-I don't propose to recognize you until you tell mo what you want.-Texas Siftings.
 Coroner-You seem very sure that the de- ceased was killed by some accident. Could he not have committed suicidei
 Coroner-No, sir; no man ever committed suicide with bottle of Old Crow in his in side pocket.-The Cartoon.
 Brown-stNow, Dumley, ole fel (hic), you jess leave me here at corner, an I'll fin housh 'lone." Dumley-s'I'd better go to the (hic) sthay here. M'wife meet me at (hic) door, an mans domeshtic relations sacred, y'know, ver' sacred"
 s'My dear boy" said 8 mother to her son as he handed round his plate for more turkey, stthis is the fourth time you've been helped. ' "I know it, mother," replied the boy, "but that turkey pecked me once, and I want to get square with him." He got his turkey San Francisco Wasp.
 Dumley-That lawyer brother of yours, Brown, s'pose would defend about as mean as mean and disreputable case as any law yer in town2
 Brown-Well, I dunno what Jim might do. You go and state your case to him, Dunley, and say sent you.-New York Sun.
 Cincinnati Saloonist-"Vell, I dinks have to move my saloon next week on &C., cound oof dot church aeroes der vay."
 Customer-'Does the congregation object to the saloon, DutehyG"
 Cincinnati Saloonist-'No; mine goostom- ers don'd like dot organ noise init Sunday mornings. ."Life.
 Mrs. GuzzIer (who holds the purse strings) -'Do you mean to tell me that you were not drunk last night, Guzzlerf' Maj. Guzzler- ftWell, perhaps was loaded, my dear. ' Mrs. Guzzler-'tI should say so. Now re member, Guzzler, the next time you come home loaded you are going to be fired. "- Town Topics.
 Nobody oole6.-What the girl with the parasol and her companion are thinking ssIt's awfully mean to lead him on so when am already engaged; but it is such fun!' What he thinks-''This is low sort of bust ness for a man who's to be married in Octo- Der. They are no end of sport, though, and I could have either of them for the asking. J Life. A Chicago man wrote letter to Thsckery the other day complimenting him on his books, and appropriately enough the epistle was sent to the Dead Letter Office. Some papers are using this incident as a reproach to the literary Knowledge of Chicago, but in reality it shows 8 marked advancement in learning for that city. They have evidently just heard of Thackery. y.-Detreit Free Press. A Pertinent Question-A former governor of a large city in Japan, after spending an evening at friends table with several com. panions, was unable to find his carriage and determined to walk home. Losing his way, however, in the narrow winding streets, he applied to policeman to direct his errine footsteps To his surprise the solemn func. tionary could not solve his perplexity. He was not acquainted, he said, with the loca, tion asked for. A happy enpedient suggest ed itself to the enquirer. tfBe good enough ! to direct me to the residence of the governor of the city," said the governor. 1T don't know where that is either,n responded the policeman ttWhatl not know where the governor livess shall report you to-rnor. row. am the governor" tfWeH, :" was the eaustic rejoinder, Chow do you expect me te 1 know where yeu live if you don't know where you live yoursslfa"-Harper's Magazine.