Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1888-05-19
IT WAS POSTMASTER PLUMBER,
Some Things that Surprised the
Government Inspector.

A travelling postofice inspector wen
up into Scott County, ILL.,, few day.
ago for the purpose of investigating
certain reported crookedness. One
afternoon he reached small cabin, sit
uated near lonely road. He stopped
intending to get drink of water, anG
as he drew near the house was aston
ished at seeing sign-board bearing the
following inscription: "Poost offs" Ar
old fellow with a grizzly beard anG
hairy chest-displayed, as his shirt
was nbuttoned-came out and, merely
nodding to the inspector, sat down on 8
stump.
GLOW are you?" said the inspector.
"Tol'ble."
"Have you some fresh water handy
"Plenty Nv it down there in the
branch. One of their boys shot my
bucket all ter pieces, an sense then ]
halter 60 to the branch wen I wante1
drink"
just then man mounted on mule
rode up and asked: "Mr. Plummer, got
any letters for me2"
eyes, thar's one here, Bill Patterson.
but you KANT get it. Go on away from
here, or I'll make you wush you hadn't
come"
"Wush yer would give it ter me-"
tYas, and Their niger wushed that
Their coon would come down OUTER ther
tree, but he didn't come"
'Say, Mr.. Plummer-"
''Shut yer mouth an say nothin, an
morn that, you'd better mosey away
from here"
The man rode off and the inspector,
addressing the postmaster, asked:
"Why didn't you give that man his
letter!P
'Kas he worked agin me when 1 run
for justice Nv the peace
eyes, but the Government doesn't
care anything for that
Reckon not, but do"
"But you were appointed to serve the
people"
"Yas, an 1 sarve 'em, too-sarve
some Nv them like old Nick"
''My friend, 1 am travelling post
Office inspector an"
"All right, then, travel"
eff l report you to the postofice de-
partment, which l shall be very apt to
do, you'll travel"
"Reckon not. This establishment
b'longs ter me, and nobodys got a right
ter tell me to fer get out
GLOW long have you been postmas-
teri"
"Bout year, I reckon"
At this juncture an old fellow, eau
tiously picking his way among the
bushes, approached the postmaster, who
upon seeing him sprang to his feet and
exclaimed:
'Whut in thunder do you want here,
Abe Smith p
"Come after my paper" g.
"Didn't tell yer that yer KANT git
it2"
eyes, but I lowed that yer mout
change yer mind
"Wall, 1 haint. When yer refusedsto
lend me yer slide an boss tother week
1 told yer that yer couldn't get nothin'
else outen this Office
'I'm er goin' ter get that paper"
''Not lessen yer better man than I
be-"
"An' that's erbout what I Think
"Well, help yerse'f.
With agility surprising for such old
men they grappled each other and began
q desperate struggle. Abe Smith sue
ceeded in throwing the postmaster.
''Now," said Smith, as he began to
choke old Plummer, ''goin' to let me
have that paper2"
A gurgled "yes" came from the post
masters throat. Smith released his
hold and suffered Piummer to get up.
''Wall," said the postmaster, as he
stood brushing fragments of leaves and
bark from his beard I reckon L WIZ
sorter mistaken in yer. l didn't know
that yer WIZ such nice man. Come
in, Abe, an git Yer paper, fur yer have
earned it like white man."
Amt thar letter for me, too"
"Yas."
"Wall, I want it"
"Kain't get it, Abe. Yer fit fur ther
paper an not fur Their letter."
SCOT to have it, Plummer.
"Not lessen you whip me ergain."
"B1'eve ken do it. -
Cali right, Abe"
They went at it again, and pranced
around, striking at each other. Finally
Plummer struck Abe heavy blow and
felled him; then, seating himself on the
PROSTATE man, he said:
"Don't want the letter, do yer, Abe 2"
"Reckon not, Plummer.
Gall right, come erhead an git yer
paper
When Abe had gone, the postmaster
turned to the inspector and said:
"Want anything outen mel'
ssNo T baliaya not -
'.Ef yer had letter here an I didn't
want yer to have it yer wouldn't argy
Their pint, would yer?"
"I don't think that should"
"Don't want no truck with me7"
None"
"Well, then, good-by. Got ter go in
an make up ther mail"
Youthful Wisdom.
The Minneapolis Tribune tells this
story 1t is related of two little oirls