The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-01-21
PECULIAR POSTMASTER.

inally in THE ARKANSAw TRAvELER, having been written several years Ago by the editor of this paper. It has been stolen by many "hnrried'' exchange editors, and is now floating about, credited to the r. & Nud. We do not republish it because we can find nothing better, but that we may reclaim one of THE TRAvELER's way ward children:
 A travelling post-office inspector went up into Scott county few days ago for the purpose of Investigating certain reported erookedness. One af- ternoon he reached small cabin situ- sted near lonely road. He stopped, intending to get drink of water, and as he drew near the house was aston- ished at seeing signboard bearing the following inscription: "Poost offs" An old fellow, with grizzly beard and hairy chest-displayed, as his shirt was unhuttoned-cam out, and merely noddiug to the inspector, sat down on a stump.
 "How are you:" asked the inspector "Tofble."
 "Ilave you any fresh water handy?" Plenty uv it down thar in the branch. One uv the boys shot my bucket all to pieces, an since then halter go to thcr branch wen wanter drink"
 Just then a man mounted on mule rode up and asked:
 "Mr. Hummer, got any letters for me-"
 "Yas, thar's one here, Bill Patter- son, but you kain't get i; Go on away rum here, or fll make you wush you hadn't come"
 "Wush you would give it ter me-"
 "laS, an ther nigger wushcd that ther coon would come down outer thcr tree, but he didn't come"
 "Say, MT. Hummer"
 "Shut wore mouth an say nuthin', an more'n that, you'd better moscy away rum here"
 The man rode away, and the inspcc- tor, addressing the post. master, asked
 "Why didn't you give that man his i letter."
 "kasc he worked agin me when l run for justice ny the peace"
 "Yes, but the government doesn't care anything for that.
 ''Reckon lot, but do."
 "But you were appointed to serve the people
 "las, an I Sarvc 'cm, too sarvc some uy them like old Nick"
 My friend, l am a travelling post office inspector, and"
 "All right, then, travel"
 "lt report you to the post-oilicc department, which shall be very apt to do, you'll travel"
 "Reckon not. This establishment b'longs ter me, an nobody's got n right ter tell me ter git out.n
 "llow long have you had this oi- fice?"
 "Ever sense built it."
 "l mean how long have you beer postmaster
 "'Bout year, l reckon"
 "At this juncture an old fellow cautiously picking his way among the bushes, approached the postnas ter, who, upon seeing him, sprang to his feet and exclaimed
 What in thunder do you want here, Abe Smith?"
 "Come after that paper"
 "Didn't till yer that yer kain't gi; iti'
 "Yes, but flowed yer mout change yer mind"
 Wall, hain't. When yer refused ter lend me yer slide an hoss t'other week told yer that yer couldn't git nothin' else outen this oilice.'
 "fm CT goin ter get that paper"
 Not lessen yer better man than am."
 An that's what think
 Wall, help yourself"
 With agility surprising for such old men they grappled with each other and began desperate struggle Abe Smith succeeded in throwing the postmaster.
 "Now," said Smith, as he began to choke old Hummer, "goin' ter let me have that paper?"
 A gurgled "Yes" came from the post mans throat. Smith released his hold and suffered Hummer to get up.
 Wall" said the post master, as he stood brushing fragments of leaves and bark from his beard, "I reckon wuz sorter mistaken in yer. didn', know that ye wuz such a nice man Come in, Abe, an git yer paper, fer ye have earned it like a white man." i "Ain't thar letter fur me too!"
 "Yas"
 "Wali, l want it..
 "Kain't git it, Able. Yer fit fer ther paper and not fer the letter." ] NGni fer have it. PlnmInerr