The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1888-09-20
PuNGENT PARAcRAPHs.

ss fONGEN tsefA Al 7s9ssss s-sss
Washington has ..S.smmer home
for cats" 1t is said to be surrounded
by caterwaul. .-Norristose Herald
lin polite circles the word drunk
Or ''intoxicated" is no longer used.
''Overestimated' his capacity'' Is Il q
proper thing.-Epoch.sA as .ass
Look out for number one" Is like
the baseless fabric of dream to a
widow on the qui UiUe for second hus-
band.-Binghonto Republican,.
st. Louis man witnessing "Julius
Cesar )-"Do you notice, my dear.
with what stately grace @Brutus moves
about?" Wife-s'Yes, and he is in his
night-gown, too. It's wonderful!"
Some one says that an umbrella
will last much longer If it is placed
with the handle downward to dry. To
preserve it still longer, attach 1t to
your body with q long chain and pad &
lock.-Norristoso Herald. !. ae s.
1t is not always easy to tell whether
or not woman really means what she
says; but this rule does not apply when
she is expatiating on the accomplish
ments of her baby. She may be mis-
guided. but she Is always perfectly
sincere. journal
-"All the men are not fools, any
how" snapped Mrs. Curtly to her hus-
band during a little domestic discus
sion. mo, my dear" replied Mr.. c..
with true manly politeness. "No,
there are few bachelors left as sam
Piles. y Washington Critic. e.a s.
Police Protection. n.-Smith-"How
do you like your new. house out in the
suburbs?" Jones-'sThe only objection
have to it is that it is so far to the
police station in case of burglars
why didn't you rent a house near q
saloon? You can always find q police
man hanging around there. ."Teras
Sittings
Dominic Ito choir leader)' )''-The
collection this morning, Mr.. Hotwater,
was very small, and am sorry to say
that think the meagreness was largely
due to you. Choir Leader-"Largel
due to me, sirp' Dominic -.sYes.
Hereafter. while the plate is being
passed, ! wish YOU would try and make
a better selection of music than Sal
vation's Free. ~. Y. Sass.
Mrs. Lenox Hill, Jr. (getting ready
to leave etown)-"Lenox, where shall
hide these silver spoons, in case thieves
break IMP DO you think between the
mattresses would be a good placepn
Mr.. Lenox Hill, Jr. (who knows what
he is talking about) ut)--"Nonsensei Put
them into one of your dress pockets In
the closet, and If burglar finds that,
he deserves the spoonsi'-Puck.
Somewhere down East married
pair were in the habit of airing their
differences audibly. In these spats tho
wife, having the longer tongue, was
usually the winner. The result was
made known in one case to an inquir-
ing neighbor (who asked where he
could find Mr.. McBlank) in these
words: II don't know; guess he's up
stairs hatin' hisseh. .n-Bostop Tran
script.
-''The types observes Southern
Missouri paper apologetically, made
us allude last week to our esteemed
townsman, Mr.. Polhemus, as villain
GUS lounger. We wrote versatile law
yer.' The error was overlooked by our
proof-reader, a gentleman recently
from Texas, who assures us, in extern
uation of the oversight, that the two
terms mean pretty much the same
thing where he came from g
--Clergylnen should be brief and to
the point. A Boston clergyman once
had broad hint to that effect. sWes
would like to have you short when. you
marry us" said prospective BRIDE
groom, .sbecause we are going West. =
"How soon after the ceremony will you
startpn asked the clergyman. I'm
about week. = was the reply. Then
the minister realized he had q reputa~
tion as one possessing the gift of con-
tinuance. Harpers Magazine.