The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1888-09-07
Artificial Freaks.
now AND WHERE MUMMiEs AND MER-
MAIDS ARE MADE.

now AND WHERE MUMMiEs AND MER-
MAIDS ARE MADE.
AND TELLS ABOUT THE FAKRs-rHE
FINEST ARTIST IN THE WORLD IN
THE MANUFACTURES OF
cuRIosrTIEs.
IL was our old friend, the Snowman
the only survivor Of A. Ward, ESQ
truthful as the needle 10 the pole,
writes New York Graphic man. He
Is a queer duck, is this friend of ours,
the old Snowman, with rare eve for
seeing the curious aud the unique, with
. strong fancy, with cosmopolitan
instinct and with sense Of the charm
Of successful humbuggery. He beiiev.s
with the idol Of the show world-the
venerable sage Of Bridgeport-that the
public likes 10 be humbugged. A
good square, snap side show attracts,
him as drop of sugar attracts flies.
He is never 80 happy as when with his
shiny tall hat on the back of his head,
and with bis keen eyes dancing in the
excitement Of the hour, he is aloft on
the box of the side show in front of
the circle of pictures Of the Circassian
woman, and the fat woman and the
line of freaks, Grating to crowd of be-
LEVERS on the wonders of his show in
side the canvas.
"The show man" quoth he, crises
early and retires late. know him. 1
know all about him. He puts all his
nerve, strength, vigor and brains into
the business. The show man is usually
q show man because he couldn't be
any thing else if he had every oppor-
tunity in the world. He'd rather be a
Snowman and have to go to bed while
his only shirt was being washed than
be bank cashier rolling in somebody
else's millions.
"Well, sir, since I'm talking on the
fake, did you know that the finest ar
tist 10 the world in the manuf .cture of
freaks and curiosities is ah Alaskani
It's fact. ! was surprised myself,
for always supposed that he would be
Yankee. He was away when we
called, but his assistant was there.
They we're making Egyptian mummies
that day, full line OF the. for mu-
scum in Paris. They are made of
plaster Of Paris aud boiled IN tobacco
Juice, and they are stunners when they
are done. 1t is q curious yarn how the
reporters got on TO his place. He oc-
cupies a place under the roof and dries
his curiosities on the fiat roof in the
sun. The elevated railroad pushes
along over the city here, and some
travellers by the morning train saw q
curious sight ou' on one of the roofs.
1t looked like collection of dead bod
les drying in the sun, and a conglom-
Grafton of hideous monstrosities and
blood-curdling freaks of nature. OF
course somebody investigated it, and as
. result the birth place of the freak
was found.
Il wish I could give you that Alas
kan's name, but can't. It's q sumner
in length, and he is an artist of as DIS
tinguished talents as his name is long.
He made the man-ox that struck the
professors of anatomy everywhere. He
drew the skin over the ribs 80 adroitly
that there seemed to be absolutely no
fault in it, and it puzzled the scientists
as well as the common people. There
are two or three other freak makers in
the Bcwery that we called on, but
there are no oilers that approach this
fellow. He is a jim-dsndy, and nc
mistake. A mermaid is nothing at all
for him He can draw chickens skin
over the skeleton as handily as you
draw on your glove, and no man car
swear that it is artificial"
"Are none of these freaks penuine!'
mighty few that l know anything
about are very genuine. Most of thii
man-ox, man-horse, mermaid, sea ser
pent, Egyptian mummy, royal anatomi
cal marine museum htuf is manfactur
ed. Of course, there are some freakl
of nature in the way of moustrositie.
that are genuine. The India rubber
man is a freak of nature, and I was il
to see the centaur of q man-horse al
tht dime museum. That's genuine il
you like it. It's coon with his leg,
twisted out of shape. The poor cuss
was marked in birth and cant wall
npright--a dead give-away of a fake
that don't excite any particlar interest
Australian children are idiots. Cir
cassian women can be made with case
and celebrity. Bearded women can be
found anywhere. The country is full
of Albinoes, and if it were not they can
be manufactured to order at any time
"Do you remember that sea serpent
that we exhibited year or two ago,
1t was twenty Or thirty feet long, and
was the the queerest looking thing
ever saw. 1t had big chunks of bone
on the side of it, and had q mouth biz
enough to take in long boat. Well
this Alaskan made that. How did hs
make iti Blamed if ! know. hei
ahead of me on that. 1t was q eooi
job. He made sea serpent lately
and ! rar across it at Exeter. One O
the professors at Phillips Acakem,
went in and looked it over. He sale
he had doubts about its being Genuine
ala! Ha! Well don't blame him
! had my doubts, too, bnt they yer,
based on different foundation, th,
difference between theory and fdct
you see. The owner of the show ha,
a mighty good lecture to 90 with hi
museum. He had one or two mer
maids, and one of them he considere,
particularly valuable specimen. H
meyer failed in the course of his ad
dress to relate that this was positiyel
the only mermaid ever captured alive
He said that she seemed to mourn TO
her hone at the bottom of the sea, an
to continually utter plaintive cries an
sing in a mournful, heart. .breakin
key They fed her every thing in tn
line of fresh fish, but she pined ava
and died and thus ended the exislen6
OF the only mermaid ever capture
alive.
'The doctor bad bang-up show o
the outside. His pictures were YER
gorgeous and true to fact. In front {
hia rnarmaid ha ha1 a la.,.o .,.,ol 3