St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-02-12
BITS OF COMMENT.

The whale and the school girl are the
great sources of blubber In this coun-
try.-ROchester Express.
Ii low associations corrupt good NOR
ais, our thermometer has got to elevate
itself or "git. "-BinghamptOn Republi-
can.
If Dakota, who wants to come into the
Union so badly, gets left, it will be on
account OF cold day.-YOnkerS States
men.
Astronomers blame the sun spots for
this weather. Now, somebody should up
and knock spots out of the sun.-BostOn
Post.
The millennium is coming, but it's in
no great rush. Perhaps a messenger
boy is bringing it.-Nebraska State
Journal.
Blaine's tobacco break will not help
him. He has discovered that the snuff
takers are old women. who cannot vote.
New Orleans Picayune.
''Y r U so G ID in your dresS?" asked
the school teacher of tramp.
* QS me, num-" replied he; II
drank 2 X S.-Pittsburg Chronicle.
DR.. Oliver Wendell Holmes wants to
know what civilization would be with
out a piano. Nobody can tell, but we
shouldn't be afraid to try it for a week
OF SO.-PnlladelpDla PreSS.
If some one who knows would eX-
plain why there is so much more cough
ing to the square inch in church
congregation than in theater audi
ence he would solve much-veXed
question of the hOur.-COmmOnwealth.
Clara Morris says she uses real tears
in pOrtraying her characters. 1t is also
understood that the male portion of her
audience use real Oaths to relieve their
feelings during the long waits between
acts Boston Transcript.
Lady-That ivory ornament you sold
me was not ivory, but cellulOid; when
it came near gas jet it blew up.
Dealer-Maybe the tusk came from
circus elephant. Some of 'em are
pretty hard drinkerS.-Omaha World.
Sizing Them Up-First Youth hear
the De Fines have some young lady Wis
itOrs.
Second Youth-Yes, 1 saw them ON
the street.
who are they?"
Don't know. Poor relations, / guess;
they're so Omaha World.
Husband (eXasperated)-W in the
mischief did you do with the snow
shovel brought home last night?
Wife-What did you expect 1 would
do with 1t, John? l tied red ribbon
olOulltt ClO lldIlulC duu puI IL LII tllc PAR
lOr.-Puck. e..
The pedagogue at one of our subur-
ban schools gave young lady severe
whipping the other day, and then said:
''NOw, if you think did wrong in pun
ishing you thus, you may take the rod
and serve me in like manner" To
his establishment the contrite and re-
pentant girl took him at his word and
gave him such lambaSting as he had
never dreamed Of.-PunXSutaWne (Pa.)
Spirit.
Young Lady Gcily)-You are on my
train, sir. Can you not see?
Gentleman (humbly)-Pardon me; I
was blinded by your beauty.
Young Lady (sweetly)-Do not permit
me to incommode you, sir. 1t is moth
ing, assure you.
Moral: Truth may be mighty, but an
agreeable lie gets there all the same
BinghamtOn Republican,.
Young gentlemen" said her papa,
stepping to the front door and address
ing party of four serenaders, Il am
passionately fond of music, but my
passion sometimes crystalizeS in the
form of shotgun, especially after mid
night. Soft you will just move around
thh corner, where you will find vacant
lot and an echo, you will greatly oblige
all the members of the family, and pos
sibly escape an epidemic of blood poi
SOning-BurlingtOn Free Press