Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1888-01-21
e THE iRiplNo1 % @
| A Splendid Thing for the Liver Isnt No;
t. Quite as Good ms a Juicy Steak. IA

~
being tossed about on q windy sea, at
any other time, you do when you make
your debut on the spinal column Of a
horse. u&h Fia3E Toy NORTHUMBERLAND .
.rGYou can scarcely realize what the
saddle is for, because you sit al over
the horse; andif it is proper to be in
the saddle, when you are not on, the
ground, you feel that either the saddle
should be six times as large, or the
horse should be supplied with six sad
dies. No matter if the saddle is
strapped on so tight that it makes the
horses eyes bulge out and look like
painted nest-eggs, it always feels as
loose as an old shoe, or the money that
you can't tie up. Y ,-'
You feel that in second you will be
away down on one side Of the horse,
hanging on to his vertebr@ with your
heel and you naturally bear, your
weight in the stirrups to keep your
balance. ..4....,, s.. -attu.
You are afraid Of being laughed at
by your instructor, OF You would order
some billets of wood to be hammered
between the horse and the girth, just
as boys put wood under their straps to
keep their skates on firmly. lH5M
You are assured that if the girth
were tightened, the house would col
4 lapse with cramps; SO you say no more
on tho subject You know in your
heart that the saddle is not going to
slip, but at the same time you can't
help imagining that it is.
So you go on webbing and bobbing
from side to side, feeling as though you
would like to put your arms about the
horses neck for safety. AS soon as
you stand firmly in the stirrups, you
forget to press your knees against the
saddle; and when you press your knees
against the saddle, your feet fly out Of
the stiwups, and you ieel as awkward
as the boy trying TO ride the trick mule
three times around the circus ring
"You will drop into it before you
know it, says the teacher. -'
This is very soothing, because up to
this time you think YOU will drop of
before you know IT.
The teacher tells YOU he never had a
pupil drop off once in all his experience,
and then shows you a collection OF
scars under his hair that branch out in
every direction. If he should lose his
hair, the observer would naturally
think that he had come in contact with
a skating pond, and the spider hac
been made on his head instead of OF
the ice. ,-.,
Then he tells you how the stone wal
felt when he struck it'on the fly. Blu
says nothing about how hefelt himself
The great trouble is, that you have
about eight or ten things to remember
at once, while your whole attention il
exhausted in srying to keep off the tar
bark. If you remember to sit bacl
when the horse comes to stop, yol
forget to keep your hands down. You
think you can balance yourself bette
by spreading your arms out like wings
Then if You remember about YOU
hands, you forget to turn your toes il
you feel as though you were going Il
turn them up every minute, to borrow
an Occidental figure.
And then your feet work through tn
stirrups to the heels, and you can't ge
them out.
The horse then gives a lurch, ant
away go your straps; and in about tw
minutes the bottoms of your trouser
are up about your knees, and othe
riders can't understand why you ar
riding in knickerbockers.
GUST as you are doing your best t.
rise, in response to your teachers zone
/ two, one-two, one-two" the horse get
you against the fence. and. in proceed
ing six feet in this way, takes about 81
inches of skin off you. But this make
no difference ifyou are riding to reduc
your flesh.
You assure your teacher that yo
never had so much fun in all your life
) At the same time you take sly look a
the clock to see how soon your hou
will be up. You know the horse spec
will be increased at the end of the lesson
to show you how you are improving
t and get you into such q lather that 20
will take cold when you GO out on tn
street. AS much as you like riding
you always feel keener admiratio
for it when you alight on the ground
7 and rush to the pier-glass to see If 20
are intact and if your clothes fit 70
all right. You have bobbed aroun
q like a water-lily for an hour, and no,
\ you want to get your land legs; becaus
!, you feel as though you had been goin
down hill astride a rolling barrel, an
had been obliged to jump up and dow
to keep on. Then you think how mic
it would be if horses were only thir
like grayhounds. that you might elias
your feet under them 80 keep your sea
q You are in a lather, but you are happ
because the lesson is over. You hay
been bounced until your collar butte
felt like dumb-bell every time
touched your neck You feel thatr idin
: would be more enjoyable if you coul
have lounge fastened on the hors
and ride lying down. Even if you don
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