Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-12-15
WIT AND WISDOM.

HAPPINESS is roadside flower grow
ing on the highway of usefulness and
prosperity.
THE race of mankind would perish
did they cease to aid each other. -
UOrdSUOrM.
A TENDER recollection-thatX that
Bill Jones borrowed last SUMNER
Merchant Traveller.
THE robin that has lost her mate
takes sort of birdsigh view Of the
world.-Dulatth Picaytt,le.
MANY persons criticise in order not to
seem ignorant; they do not know that
indulgence is mark of the highest
culture.
THIS is a funny old world, anyhow,
but it is hard to realize it when You are
reading the comic papers. -SomerDille
JOhundI.
THE path of life is beset with thorns,
and they who are not afraid TO encoun-
ter them may gather the rare flowers
that grow between.
The latest theory from scientist is
that a man has two brains. This, how
ever clnnot possibly refer to the ciga-
rette dude. Baltimore american.
SMTH-What dazzling creature
your wife is. Brown-Ought to see
her without her diamonds. They spoil
her conversation Free Press.
DocToR Ito patientl-Why, you are
as red as raspberry: what have you
been drinking? Patient-Can't under
stand it. Only drank pale ale.-De-
hOu Free Press.
A MAN will dislocate his arm trying to
hit a baseball, and spend an entire day
in facilitating efforts to make home
run-but he won't beat carpet. Not
much.-Merchdnt TraU3ler
WIT loses its respect with the good
when seen in company with malice, and
to smile at the jest which plants thorn
in an another's breast is to become a
principal in the mischief Sheridan.
ELDERLY maiden lady Ito druggists
boy)-l want TO git some soap, young
Teller. Druggists boy-(who has de-
tected that tLat maiden lady has u
slight suspicion of IA mustache l--Yes' SIN;
Shawn soap, | s'pose. -EpOch.
SOME people pretend that tleJ are
never surprised at anything but even
the most obstinate of them finds it diff
cult to conceal his amazement when he
runs his nose against door-edge in
the dark. -SonerUiNe Journal.
FIRST dame-What shall we do to-
day? Lets go to the matinee. Second
dame-Can't; we haven't any money. 1t
takes money to go to the theater so
it does. l did not think of that. Well,
let's go shopping" - Philadelphia
Record.
get the Goodhearts, Alfred, If it had
not been for their house party this time
last year we should never have met and
married. Bridegroom of ditto Non
sense, my dear! they didn't mean any
harm.
EXTRAvAGANT young e-(pocket-
ing $40 bilD-George, dear. I often
wonder why the money you give me to
spend is called pin money. Young hus-
band-(with slight sigh)-Because
like pins, no ole knows where it all
goes to-Deh'ou Free Press.
"ME. DE CASH asked me to elope
with him only the night before he ran
away to Canada" confded Gussie.
And you refused, of course?" ayes,
my dear" she replied; "as soon as he
told me his embezzelment amounted to
only $4,000. "-Ne,o York San.
CLARA WE'RE DE VERE-It can never
be, never. Mr. Highhyer I was
on the top side of that wheat corner,
Miss Clara. Look at this bank account
Clara do not love you Mr.. Hghfyer,
but L respect you; o, my darling, how
deeply respect you. l am yours
Phiiddelphin Record.
A LIFE of virtue is life of health.
Self-leni Il leads t. a self-development
on higher planes. Patient battling
against lower lusts ends in assured VIC
tory. TO one man, and to one only,
is life worth living, and that man is he
who resolves on nothing less than per-
lection of body, mind and soul.
"DD you ever meet Miss Ruggles'
father said one travelling man to an
other. ayes, once or twice" pretty
old man, isn't he?" Not so very; ut
any rate he is quite young enough to
trip the light fantastic toe" THE light
fantastic toe?" YES, with me on the
end of it !"-Merchdm Trdreie,.
RAILROAD President-Mr. jenkins,
can't you suggest some distinctive name
for our road, something like the Bee
Line" or the Nickel Plate"-some-
thing on that plan? Secretary-How
would the True Love" do for name?
81 don't see the application" 1T never
runs smooth. "-Terre Haute Express.
DEACON SKINFLINT-Thi is an age of
irreverence. 1 read tonight about o
fellow who has engraved the Lords
Prayer ON a ten-dollar gold piece and
wears it on his watch chain for o curl
osity. This is all wrong, very wrong.
There are some things too sacred to be
trifed with Carper-To which do you
refer, Deacon, the PRAYER or the gold
piece ?-Terre Hdute Express.
Mrs. BACHBEIT-It's Just awful, I
think, the way that Mrs. Golding lets
young Hardup dangle around after her
day in and day out. But it's to be ex-
pectad, l suppose, when an old fool like
Golding marries q giddy young girl.
Mrs Polly Gist-You oughtn't to talk
that way about her She's awfully good
to the old fellow, they say. Mrs. Bach
beit-Yes? Almost too good to be
true.-TeJre Hdute Express.
What The Young Man Meant