The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1888-02-01
The Knights Of Labor Resting Under Cloud
ola Misleading Title.
"Sir Walter" Of KsnsaE-Room For the
Wemap, and Give Her = CnAncs.
Fate of q Tragic Writer-BOh Orders Two
of a New Invention-A Christmas
Remnant.
Written for the Sentinel.
copyrighted 1851

THERE SHALL BE NO MORE KNIGHTS.
Queer ideas We nineteenth century
people have about names and titles. Take
this great organization of wOrkIngmen, the
hard-working, industrious toilers OF our
land-the Knights Of Labor. Could in.
spiration suggest G name more misleading
and inappropriate? Ii there was anything
in the world that the plumed knight
didn't do, it was work. II there was one
thing that be considered degrading, it was
honest toll. If there was a creature in all
the world for which he had profound
contempt, BIT was a worklngman. he
called the honest laborer a hind, churl,
base born, ignoble, a clown, He believed
that the WoTkingman was made OF coarser
clay than the knight Of gentle blood Il think
he even doubted if the laborer had soul.
A coWdardly, quarrelsome, bsrd-drinking,
Dragging, tbieVng, thigh born" knave,
who barricaded himself and his horse in a
ton of srmor plating, and with lance
twenty feet long rode into a mob Of half
naked Wretches armed with bows
and arrows, and called il war.
Why the honest, brave, toiling work
ers of to-day, free-born men,
should want 10 call themselves knights"
rather than yeomen, l don't know. Ah.
brethren, the English isn't the only man
who "dearly loves q lord.n We seem to
love even the faded "reminiscences of one.
Why, out in Emporia, Kan, while was
waiting for "thunderbolt train" that was
six hours late, voice called into the wait
ing room, Sir Walter" and "Sir Walter
said "Hey?" and got up. observed ''Sir
Walter" The grim old knight wore q
sword. belt three sizes 20 small for him, and
bis rapier hung down between his legs.
His boots were the ruddy hue of boots that
shuddered at the scent OF blacking; large,
rs,.k~ LII
and the soil of the Kansas corn-feld clung
to them in gouts and patches. His black
pentalOons, scant in the lean patern
of q bygone day, bagged fearfully
st the punched and bony knees,
and his black frock-coat was a night
mare. Bat Sir Walters hat was the hat of
plumed knight, aud it lent to his grizzlsd
face aId hony figure the genial aspect of a
scare-crow that had gone through a MILL.
merry store. "Sir Walter" looked a mo-
ment for convenient corner. but finding
none, turned his face toward the stove,
projected his uneerlip a scaut half-inch,
and with one sibilsnt, well-dirscted shot
put out the fire, tossed his now useless
quid IN after il, and without psusing to
gaze upon the ruin, followed "Sir George
out Of the door. They we're Knights of
ometbiDg-omniscient Providence only
knows what-but they were Knights. And,
possibly, Barons. They looked barren.
ROOM FOR THE WOMAN
"Give the woman chsnce!" shouts the
Woman's Journal. All right, woman,
here's the saw; there's a piece of bacon
rind on the chopping- block right by the
sawbuck; two cuts to stick makes 1t ex-
actly kitcheB-stove length; rest your knee
on the middle of the stick, aud be careful
that you don't catch the saw in your skirts.
You can have q chance at it from now
until dinner.time, while the men 60 down
to the grocery and talk politics or listen to
old Sammy Stammerwheezle try to read
last weeks paper.
IT WAS A TRAGEDY.
left with you last week?' asked young
George Aristophanes, the leading American
hnmorist, uncovering his head before the
manager. ~ have" replied the great man,
but don't see why you call it tragedy.
IL reads more like farce" "AhI yes, but
it is tragedy, and a fearful one. You
see, the idea is, we lock the doors, and the
audience dies about the middle of the third
act" Not if l can save themp howled
The indignant manager, who wanted to
save his audiences to buy a steam yacht
with them, and with one vicious stab he
thrust $40 bill into the humorist's hand.
The unhappy man gave one Mortified
glance at it, recognized it, and fell dead
upon the floor. The manager calmly with
drew the fatal bill and sold the body to
Deighboring medical college for $40.
Everything always favors the manager
that truly loves his audiences.
IN TABULATED FORM.
A fashion paper says 1.-The latest form Of
a dining-table is square" Ha! to CORE
spond with the meal, probably.
UNCoNsIDERED TRIPLES.
"Copyright?n exclaimed the honorable
member from Bitter Creek-"copyright =?
Reckon ii amt goin' to come up this ses-
sion. ! amt noways interested In 1t any
how; they amt a arthur in my district.
Pm leggin' to git the tax of n tobacker. a
statesman that looks after the interests of
his constituents amt got no time to fool
around with side issues"
But GOVERNOR NEEDS AN ORGAN.
.eutenant Governor Riddle, of Kansas
has been offered $500 q week to sing tenor
and he refuses. Hal we've known som e
base politicians who had to sing small for
nothing.
PLEAsANT ALL ROUND.
Senator-"Yes, we are going to report
unanimously against confirmation; that is
to please our constituents Interviewer.
"YesW Senator-"Yes and then we are
going to unanimously confirm that's to
please the nominee"
WE EwILL TAKE TWO.
An Indianapolis man has invented and
patented ''band carrier" If 1t can carry
q band Of thirteen pieces out into the
woods and dump 1t into a swamp a mile
deep, with alto horn at the bottom, the
inventor can get an order for a job lot of
his machine right in this town.
TOO HEAVY FOR THE MAILS.
The Postoffice Department charges eight
cents pound for carrying printed matter.
This makes it about twenty-five times
cheaper to send a speech on the tariff by
telegraph, full rates, than to send it by
mail.
sEMPER HIDE 'EM.
In this transitory world, my son, there is
one thing that ne7er changes; that is the
yellow backed railway guide which the
trainh0v aells v0u Tha chauCinO sa.,or.