Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1888-10-04
WOMAN AND HOME.
WHY YOUNG FOLKS ARE LOATH TO
PLUNGE INTO MATRiMCNY.

Getting Ready for siclness--LeaFnins to
Vork-Drcss-A Mistake Parents Make.
A Happy wife-Health Hin1s-Notes Tor
the Housewife.
Ask young lady who is yearning for her
own vine and fig tree, and husband, by
way of an adjunct, why it is that the men
are SO loath to take unto themselves partners
fo1. better or for worse, and she will reply:
''Ohl the men are selfish. They want to spend
all their money upon themselves. They Gks
the Injuries of celibacy. They like their
club life with all its comforts. They want
to provide themselves with everything that
is calculated to make a man satisfied with
himself and the world at large" This is the
reply that the interrogation will get in most
eases. There may be varieties Of expression,
according to the individual, but the tenor Of
the answer is not far removed from this.
Ask the young man who is fit subject for
the matrimonial market why it is that tho
men do not marry and he will say: so! the
women are SO foolish. They want to enjoy
themselves They want to wear fine clothes,
keep up with all the fashions, have servants
to do the work for them and live like the
wives Of millionaires. Ii the women we're
not so foolish more men would get married.
If they were less capricious there would be
less anxiety felt about the married state. AS
It is the young man with moderate income
is afraid to plunge in the vortex OF matri-
mony for fear that financial bankruptcy may
be the outcome" This will be the reply in
nine cases out of ten.
Here we are between two grindstones.
But when one investigates the question in q
careful way the conclusion is inevitable that
there is ground for complaint ON both sides.
The young man is certainly selfish. he
forms habits in his bachelor days which GER
tainly would not become him as a married
man He has his club and the club claims q
good deal Of his time and thought. He does
not as a general thing take his wife to the
club with him. Therefore she naturally OBJ
jectS to clubs and thinks that they are horrid.
If the young Benedict would make his homo
his club house and his wife his clubfeIlow,
there would be much less ground for COM
plant than there now is. But to most young
men, who even in a married state pine for
little bit of freedom, club life Of this kind
would be too monotonous. Again, there is
some ground for the complaint that the
young man is too fond of his own comfort.
That is undoubtedly true. But man is very
largely creature of habit. He forms tastes
and habits in celbacy which he cannot shake
off Too often when he has a wife he graft
fes those tastes even if to do so he is COM
PEELED to sacrifice his wife's comfort This is
not right. A woman when she marrieS takes
the step i'll some cases for the want of con-
genial companiorship; in others to better
her condition But, leaving the material as
marries does not at once like to begin life
Of denial and self abnegation.
The young man has a good deal to COM
plain about, too. The education of young
woman is often far too superficial, and,
therefore, useless 1t does not fit her to be
the true helpmeet of a man. 1t is calculated
to make her an ornamenU, not a useful being.
The average society woman is well defined
by the philosopher Thomas Carlyle in
his "Sartor ReSartus' as piece of
celestial art which he glories to sur
vey in galleries, but which he has
lost all hope of purchasing. The young
woman too often is educated to be parlor
to dress well, to pose effectively, to
play the piano little, and to have a smat-
tering in those branches Of education which
are purely ornamental. A wife of this kind
is not what the young man wants who is just
starting out upon his career. He must have
some one to help him save. In order to do
this the wife must know how to work, and
must not be afraid to work. That they do
not is, perhaps, not SO much their fault as it
is the fault of society and its standards
Women like to share the burdens of those
they love. They are willing to put up with
very much of inconveniece, withstand any
providing it will help along the
one that is loved and cause him TO feel happy
W hen it comes to a question of sacrifice, or
moral or even physical courage, the woman
in three cases out of five is superior to ths
man. She viii bear more pain uncomplaiS-
ngly and will complacently battle with an
noyances that would almost drive a man
crazy. Most women would be true help
meets if they had a chance. But from their
,hildhood's days they are taught to have
wrong view OF life, and to ignore the sub
5tantial in favor of the artificial.
This is wholly wrong Men and women
we're created to be joined in Inatrimony 1t
S wrong TO keep them apart. 1t is not only
wrong to tho individuals of the two sexes,
out it is fraUght with danger to society.
Where there are the most happy marriages
here the standard of purity will be the high
st. Where there are the least marriages
he standard of iupurity will be the highest.
Detroit Free Press.