The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1888-01-12
from the Echo
THE PERSIAN PLAN n. G.
How William Wexford Made Test of 1t.

the effete countries of the old world
cannot be safely introduced into the
land Of the free and the home of the
brave.
Take the case of William Wexford
for instance.
William was engaged to be married
to woman who had a warm temper
and ditto hair, and who had reached
an enigmatical age, but these failings
were lost sight Of in the fact that she
had $4,000 in bank. Fifty thousand
dollars will conceal a great many
female blemishes.
About week before the day named
for his marriage William encountered
the subjoined suggestive paragraph in
his newspaper.
My son. said Persian father on
the eve Of the formers marriage, ''you
are going to be married, and, if you
wish that your wife should be quiet
and submissive to you in all matters,
procure a cat, and one night after
your marriage so arrange that the
animal shall be in your sleeping room
when you and your wife retire to rest.
When you go to your room you will
feign surprise and annoyance at the
presence of the cat, and you will at
once draw your sword and slay it.
Your wife, of coure. will be terribly
frightened at the sight Of the slain
cat, and hint from you that she will
fare likewise if she is not very careful
over herself, and you may depend
upon it that she will be the proper,
dutiful wife that she should be-
Such was the old Persian fathers
advice. William Wexford read the
irregular paragraph over twice. He
was interested. He was one of
those persons who become imbued
with an irresistible desire to test every
new receipt they find in newspaper.
If there was one thing William
Wexford yearned FOR more than
another it was quiet and submissive
wife-worth S50,000; but the indica-
tions were not favorable.
"a capital scheme" !" he mused, after
reading the paragraph second time.
Human nature is the same the world
over. What is sauce for the Persian
goose ought to be acceptable dessert
for the American ditto. I'll try it on
Matilda. She owns a temper that
becomes heated on the slightest
provocation; and it will be worth
half her fortune to acquire control
over her and enforce obedience at
pleasure That old Persian paternal,
of course, would not have prescribed
the remedy for his son if he had not
tested it himself ana found that it
went right to the spot. There will
be no difficulty in procuring a cat,
but unfortunately, I never owned or
handled sword, and [ might jab all
night at cat with such a weapon
without hitting the mark A shot
gun would do, [ suppose, but | never
fired a gun in my life, and, besides, it
might scare Matilda into fits, almost
Lemme see. Aha! I have it. I'll
knock the stufin' out of the feline
with base ball bat, and hint from
me that Matilda will fare likewise, If
she is not very careful over herself,
must prove quite as effective as if the
cat had been slain with a sword"
William and Matilda were married
but it was not until nearly week
subsequently that the groom mustered
sufficient courage to give the Persian
plan practical test. After marriage
the thought obtruded that the Persian
scheme might miscarry. He was
seized with a sneaking suspicion-a
vague feeling of unrest-a dismal
foreboding that a prescription that
effected cure in one case might kill
in another; but one day when Matilda
evinced determination to become
home ruler in politics William decided
to administer a dose Of the Persian
A cat was clandestinely
conveyed to his room, and base ball
bat placed in a convenient corner
About 10 o'clock William and his
bride of a week repaired to their
chamber and began to make prepara-
tions to retire. Williams heart
with increased palpitative-
ness, and his courage nearly failed
him at the eleventh hour when he got
a glimpse Of the cat under the bed;
but the thought Of possessing a quiet
and submissive wife strengthened his
and selling the base ball bat
and casting an interrogatory glance
at his wife, he exclaimed in we'll
feigned surprise:
"Who in the dickens let that cat
into the room?"
"What-where-which cat?" cried
Matilda in alarm, dancing wildly
about the room, and then with a
shrek and a spring landing in the
middle Of the bed with remarkable
agility.
"Seat!" cried William. Tightening
his grip on the base ball bat and
going for the intruder with an earnest
ness worthy Of better cause. The
cat, it should be explained, was an
entire stranger in the house It had
never been introduced to Mr.. Wexford
or his wire, ana III is nOG strange,
therefore, that it should have violated
some of the rules of social etiquette
under the circumstances. 1t was a
brindle cat Of the Thomas species, and
had lost its off eye in heated political
discussion or something, and when
William swung his club around, and,
aiming at the cat, brought it down
on the backhof chair with crash
that partially wrecked that useful
piece of furniture and shook all the
windows in the house, the animal
inflated its tail to the dimensions of a
lamp chimney cleaner, and INDUCED
in a series of gymnastic feats.