The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-02-10
BRIGHT BITS.

You SEE, the 'trohble with success" that is
too dearly bought IS that you have got 10 go on
associating with yourself after you have at
tanned it.-ROchester Union.
If George Westinghouse would invent an air
brake that would stop grocer's bill in half its
own length, be would earn the gratitude of thou
sands of estimablepeople.- Puck.
A LAZY FELLOW Nho was idling away his time
was asked by a minister where he expected to
go when he died Il shall not go, was the re
ply, Il expect to be carried. dillingham; ton
Leader.
NURSE TO young husband)-A beautiful 10
Young husband getting things mixed in his
excitement Glorious Am | father or a
mothery-IerdS Siftings.
WHAT kind of tobacco is this?" asked the
customer; long cut or fine cut:'
Connecticut" replied the dealer.
And when the man smoked it, he knew he
had been told the truth, and likewise swindled
Puck
HER CousIN-I must say, Emma, that you've
grown quite handsome. There, now, can't you
give me a compliment in return?
His Cousin--Well. should say that you are
a gentleman of most excellent uaste.-Harper'S
Bazdr..
AN EVIL OMEY.-"Are you supersttious?"
Not very, why?'
DO you believe that it is sign Of death when
dog howls under your window at nlghty'
Yes, If can find my gun before the dog
gets away.'-LEHcOiR Journal
THERE is q common impression that the fast
est thing of which our senses take cognizance
of is a flash of lightning. This is a mistake, as
ANYBODY knows who has ever seen a young man
with red necktc, spotted shirt collar and a
loudly striped 3l2 suit of clothes.-Burlington
Free Press
FRIEND--Whatll you have?
Old Soak-WhislIy
The barkeeper pours it out
Friend-As | was saying, there's many a
slip 'twixt cup and lip
Old Soak (cfutching his glass)-God forbid
TolOn Topics.
THEY were talking about the state of the Their
mometer, and by the time all had got through
it was found that the record ranged from 20 to
70 below. Finally an old colored man, who sat
next to the stove, was appealed to- and he said:
"GemFmen, knowed dis yere GOODNESS would
come up on de kyar dis mawnin', an so | made
up my mind I'd be right about it. = My Their
mometer showed jist exactly % below half an
hour ago, an ] took it down off de nail and put
II in my pocket to bring along fur proof. She is
yere." And he took it from his overcoat pocket
unrolled it from a handkerchief, and passed 1t
over why, it shows 2So above" exclaimed
the man who received it, while everybody under
stood that it had warmed up and began to
laugh "Hu! She does, Ell? WAL, dat settles
me wild any mo- fOolln around Reckon de
pendulum has dropped off in de snow an she's
sot out to paint de town redn'-Detroit Free
Press.
she leaned over Inc counter rather YEARLY
"Will you please sell me 10c. worth of lauda-
num- sIr?'
The drug clerk looked at her sideways. He
shook his head. The voice of the young woman
trembled perceptfhly as she said
Then 10c. worth of morphine?'
The drug clerk shook his head with emphasis
A look of despair came into the young woman 8
eyes. The drug clerk, slyly watching, decided
that he had done well to refuse her. She sank
on a stool, and gazed vacantly before her
Then, for the love of heaven she cried, sud-
denly, "will you sell me 1Oc. worth of paregoric.
or Toe worth Of peppermint?n
a light broke on the drug clerk She was not
would be suicide; she was merely young
lady with a stomach ache. He broke into a
smile.
"Oh, " he said, "a PAIN"
Yes she said. sadly, "a pain!' She got the
paregoric.- Chicago Tribune.