The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-22
BRIGHT BITS

SHE Country cousin)-You find it true, do you
not that one acquires a great deal of address
by living in a large city?
he Cabsently(-I don't know; depends some
what on the landlord. | change mine quite fire.
quently.-Neic HGUen NeloS.
Mrs. BLOOD Ito the Colonel)-My dear when
you came home last night you were quite sober
C1lonel-Yes, l only drank twice.
.- MIs Blood (anxiouslyl-We what is the
trouble, dear? Have you heard some bad news
or aren't you wellY-The Epoch
SHARPE-I wonder how Jack is getting along
nowadays All smooth at homer
Keenc-O yes; he and his wife are as affec-
Tomato and as nice to each other as can be- BY
the way They haven named their baby vet
Sharpe-Ah, 1 seel That accounts for it.
LOtoeH Citizen
CHICAGO IN 19SS.-Mr Alt seems to me
Mrs b., that have met you somewhere.
Mrs B-Why. Harry, don't you remember
my twenty-fourth husband How foolishIv
young and inexperienced we were then
Mr. A-By jove, thought I'd met you be-
tore.-I0t0n Topics
SAY" said Alpha, my son is learning to
hear him practice" What is he employed at
during the day." asked Omega He works in a
saw filing factory" well, have another en-
gagement for this evening, but will call around
at the factory tomorrow and remain a few
minutes. "-NorriStolcn Herald.
MoTHER-well, my boy how do you get on in
schoolY Can you spell girlY
Small Boy-Pooh. That's easy enough
G-i-i-r-l-girl. How is thatg
Mother-Wrong. Only one in girl
Small Boy-Huh! You must have been ioiu-
ing Browning club or something. never saw
girl with only one eye.-Ided.
DYING BENEDIcr-I bequeath every dollar to
my VIE. Have you got that down?
Dying Benedict-On condition that she mar
ries within year
Lawyer-But why insist upon thatP
Dying Benedict-Because | want somebody to
be sorry that died.-HdrperS Bazaar
SPORTING GooDs DEALER-Yes, my advertised
reductions are in good faith, I'm selling stand
ard base balls to boys at cents each.
Friend lin the same line)-Great Scott! You'll
be bankrupt.
mo WON'T I'm getting rich, You see, I'm
q silent partner in the firm of Painter & Glazier
dealers In window glass, etc. Omaha World
WHEN Deacon Program visited the theatre for
the first time he was greatly shocked at the bal
let for little while. He thought better of it
after a time, however. and whispered to Mrs
p, Maria, it's awful, I'll allow yer; but myi If
we could have suthin' o the kind down to one
o our parish sociables, wouldn't we draw the
folks We'd wipe out that church debt quicker
n scat!'-Boston Transcript.
Mr.. FREMONT of Boston has lust been pre-
sented to the lovely Mrs. Lardly of Chicago
Mr.. fremont believe have had this pleas
ure before, Mrs. Lardly.
Mrs Lardly-Really Mr. fremont 7 don't
recall the occasion.
Mr.. Tremont-Why, 1 was present at your
marriage.
Mrs Lardly-Ah, indeed Which one?-Idea.
FIRST party (strictly business to friend who
rejoins him after speaking TO an acauaintancel
What old case is that?
Other-Old case! Why, he's one of our most
distinguished ornthologiSts; he
First Party-Orni-? Oh yes, one of them
bug fellers
Other-No; no. birds Has one of the rarest
collections in the country.
First Party-Advise him to unload. They say
that the women are going to stop wearing
birds on their hats. "-HGrper'S BosGr.