Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1888-11-29
WILD WESTERN KICKS.
Significant Extracts from q Recent Iss
of the ssArizona Kicker

Significant Extracts from q Recent Issue
of the 'Arizona Kicker"
SUED FOR LIBEL. Our genial sheriff,
Bill Mayes, dropped in us the other
day to subscribe for a copy of the
Kicker to send to friend in Vermont,
and to speak words of cheer and en-
couragement in regard to our enter
prise. Before he left he incidentally
served papers on us in libel suits as
follows:
The Widow Hockins. .aio, 600
Colonel Johnson l0,OU0
Mrs. Smithers. $50
Scatterlng...... .........., to,UOd
All the above suits were the result
of few truthful paragraphs in re-
cent issue, and while not exactly ex-
pected, are not unwelcome. We don't
think a newspaper amounts to shucks
until it has half dozen libel suits on
the docket, and we don't believe that
any editor will get up and hump him.
self until he realizes that he has got to
raise two hundred thousand dollars in
cash inside of year Friends, Romansi
Come and see US.
ExPLANAroRY.-Las week we adj
vised our friends to give the cold
shoulder to travelling theatrical COM
pany which advertised weeks en-
gagement at Root Hog or Die Hall, and
after playing to empty benches for two
nights, the company slid out of town,
though not before the leading man, the
villain, the juvenile, the first old
woman and Clara We're De We're, the
heroine, had stoned the Kicker Office and
dared us to come forth in the still
night and be mangled to a pulp: Let this
be warning to other theatrical COM
panles. No free tickets were left at
this Office in this case, In fact, the
Kicker was coolly ignored. 1t will be
wise in all others to come and see us
at once. We want at least six dead
head tickets to front seats, and in case
we don't get 'em the show is going to
prove bad financial failure. This
Office is the place to get date lines and
dodgers, and this paper is the proper
medium to advertise in.
SOME SUGGESTIONS. In the coming
BILE that good. clean men be put in the
field as candidates. We have consid-
cradle spare time on our hands, and ii
nominated for and elected to the office
of county clerk we should hope to fill
the place to the satisfaction of the
public. We are satisfied that we would
also make a good mayor. We could
rri, hot off Oft fy,<
hours per day, and we believe we know
the needs of the town and how to sat-
isfy them. If we are elected register
of deeds we promise that the Office
shall be mopped out every Saturday,
and those who have business with us
will find us always in cheerful numor.
1t looks well to see a leading journal
spect. They invariably make the best
office-holders. We throw out these few
suggestions in all candor. and have no
doubt they will be acted upon to the
best interests of the party and the pub
lie. They either will be or the party
will hear something drop.
BOUND FOR THE GALLows.-W at
tended church the other evening in
company with Hank Rifer's Oldest girl.
Sarah. When the contribution box
was passed we intended to chip in a
quarter, but got hold of a dollar by ac-
cident. After the services we went to
Deacon Jaggers, who runs the box,
and requested seventy-five cents re-
bate. He refused to make it, saying
that the Lord never allowed discounts
or rebates. The deacon being this
sort of man, the Kicker does not
hesitate to record the fact that he
broke Jail at Akron, o., twelve years
ago, and is still wanted in that State
for bigamy. We have been keeping
still on him because we were trotting
Sarah about, and because the deacon
claimed that he was doing work for
the Lord in this locality. We have
given Sarah the shake, and we shall
now stand the deacon out to public |
view in way which will make him
anxious to move before Christmas
Detroit Free Press.
Egg-Yelks for Boils.