The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1888-07-11
rsEss nUn1a1lE, rok ALL.
BIZ Nye Regrets The Decadence of Real
Old Relics.
(Erom the New York worldly

the Now "oItosJ
Among the many letters of inquiry re- |
cieyed during the past week is the follow
ing: Last year made trip abroard,
and among other trophies OF my visit to |
the Old World secured q fine specimen
of mummy, for which paid seventy
five scudi. While showing it to a friend
yast week I discovered that the air OF
illinois is detrimental to it and that dis
indignation is stalking plsce. Can you tell
me what is the cause and what l had
better do in order to preserve the specl-
man intsct?"
You have no doubt paid at last seventy
four scud too much for your mummy,
as ,nummies go. Nothing is more dis
heartening than the discovery that ones
mummy is not standing our harsh
American climate. But the chances are
shat you have the modern style OF
mummy, made especially for Americans
by the trade. He is not an antique, and
before August you viii have to decide
whether to cast him aside or let him run
che house. The genuine mummy has
been ground up for fertilizing purposes
during the past twenty years to such an
extent that We are running short, and
spurious mummies made of coarse people
who have died recently are flooding the
usrket. a friend of mine purchased q
vanished king, supposed to be over
1000 years old, for whice he gave lsO
s,adi and silk umbrella. In May OF
last year he began to assert himself-the
hing aid-and to enter more and more
into the home life of his owner till it was
dsuaed to have cost OF shellac put on
him. A house, sign and carriage painted
came up to the house, and while retittlng
and asfurnishing the royal relics discover
ed on the forearm dark blue Goddess
of Liberty in India ink and the iegand,
ssRichard Msginnis, Valparaiso, Ind,
1855" A mummy that has to be kept
in the refrigerator is bitter, bitter dis
appointment, and no doubt yours Is Of
that class. The modern methods of pre-
serving people do not in all cases prove
satisfactory, and do not know OF any
thing more pitiful or more hunnliahng
than while explaining your mummy to
cotsrie Of friends in the library to have
him explode on your hands and and re-
veal his true identity. Should dlsinte-
grafton continue IN the case Of your own
mummy, private funeral is the best
thing I could suggest. Let it be plain
affair, opening with select reading or
sscitstion, followed by vocal solo and
ss set-to between some good artist and
she piano. You could charge 8 small
admission fee, perhaps, which would go
toward defrsying expenses, and close
with parade and torrent of grief st the
grave
The wsnton destruction of mummies
and their wholesale importation to this
country were they have been ground up
and used IS fertilizers, is going to make
good mummies scarce and high. When
anation becomes so naughty and exacting
that it demands rhubarb pies, stimulated
By the gentleman who furnished corn to
Joseph during the dry spell, and expects
to promote Its asparagus by means of
dead monarchs and the::dnst Of heirs pre-
sumptiye to the throne Of Egypt, you
can safely predict that mummies will be
mummies before snow flies sgain. You
can't est your cake and keep it, too.
Neither can you turn out mummy in
Connecticut in two days which will take
the place of tha real thing. a Judge Of
shose things u tell you at once that the
bouquet Is different. There is not the
rSrnenut brown favor and odor of poorly
ventilated lineage about the Connecticut
made mummy that there is about the
Egyptian Job. The Egyptians had way
oScaring their people good deal the
same as our physicians have now, VIZ:
byfling them with high priced drugs.
Our physicians, however, begin on q
man before he dies, while the Egyptians,
instead of printing bulletins about thin
people, showing what their respiration
and tempersture were, and 8 large
amount OF sick room gossip, which man
hases TO read after ne has recovered, Just
waited around until the gentleman had
been permitted TO die quietly in his own
way, surrounded by his family, and then
they came in and cured him, so that on
the morning of the resurrection tooth
brush and Turkish bath would make
him look like new man.
The american bison and the Egyptian
mummy are fading away. The day will
soon come when those who have slsugh-
tered whole herds of buffalo for their
tongues and fertilized their timothy sod
with the dust of dynasties viii 80 hungry.
Wemay think that an Egyptian cemetery
has. no bottom to it and tnat q true fssure
vein of these people is practically mex
hsushhle, but some day the foreman
working on lower level viii come to the
surface and state in hoarse accents that
the pay streak has pinched out. The
difference between gas well, for In
stance, and q deposit OF emperors, is that
the latter is not sef-sustaining. A gas
veil may continue to give down or give
up, IS the case may be, for hundreds of
years, but you cannot dig up kings and
queens forever. Some day you are GER
tain to dig below their set and strike
another strata Of society.
Embaiming is process worth of the
dark sges. Il is expensive, foolish, use
less and highly injurious to the COM
pla1on. I am bitterly opposed to it.
My own nothing about it is that the man
who embslms me viii have to climb over
my dead body to do 30.
A DISASTROUS FOURTH.
4 Grand Stand Falls at Water Valley,
Miss, with Terrible Results.
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