The Red Cloud chief., 1888-07-06
MISCELLANEOUS.

~ rreHcu writer classes all women
by the size Of their thumbs. Those with
large thumbs are said to be more likely
to possess native intelligence while tho
small thumbs indicate feeling.
Mr.. r. (furnisher and decorator)
Now. sir, your house has the mag
nifcence OF an oriental potentate. x
cept. OF course. the-er-seragliO."
Mrs. Michael Van Flanagan (proudly
to her husband)-''Mike, dear, spare
no expense. let US have One."-Lve.
-What irregularities there must
have been to cause this! In the room
of a railway depot in Iowa is the fol-
lowing placard Over the clock: This
is a clock; it is running; it is Chicago
time; it is right; it is set every day at
ten o'clock. Now keep your mouth
shut"
Nancy Hanks Lincoln. the mother
of Abraham Lincoln. is buried on the
outskirts of Lincoln City, Ind. A plain
slab of marble about fOur feet high. al
most covered with grass and dOgweed.
marks her grave. On the stone is the
inscription: Erected by u friend Of
her martyred son. 1872"
"A Maltese cat and q large rattle
snake had a fight in q yard at Albany,
Ga. Every time the snake would at
tempt to strike with its wicked looking
fangs. the cat would give it a vigorous
slap on the side of the head and it
would be withdrawn. This lasted for
fully an hour, when at last the cat
bounced upon the snake and killed it.
-Friend-''Was your uncle's will
satisfactory to you. BROWNE" Brown
''Perfectly so; I'm a lucky dog! He
left his entire fortune to an insane
asylum" Friend-''You mean that
you are the unlucky dog" Brown
mo, l don't; the other relations are
going to contest the will and I'm to be
the attorney."-LJe.
The health of New York compares
very unfavOrably with that of London.
The annual mortality in the British
metropolis is about 20 in 1000. while in
New York it is 26 in 1000. The popu-
latiOn of New York is also much more
crowded. there being an average of 16
persons to q dwelling, while in London
the average is only I.
Servant maid-''Have you heard
the news. ma'am? Last night thieves
broke into a hen-pen in Long street,
and cleared out all the poultry" Mis-
tress-''Serves them right. the stupid
people! Why don't they take proper
precautions; but where did this hap
penn" Maid-"At No: r." Mistress
-"Why, that is our house?" Maid
Certainly; l did not like telling you
at once for fear you might be startledw
II think" said the minister, who
was visiting the p%arishiOner, that it is
easier to Goa children than to drive
them. Gentle words are more effect
i've than harsh ones" Il think 80.
too" said the lady, tenderly. Then
she raised her window and suddenly
shouted to her boy: Johnnie. if you
don't come IN out of that mud-puddle
I'll break your back!"- Columbus Dis
patch.
Its reported that a ''devil fish" or
ocean vampire, weighing fully two
tons, was recently caught in fishing
seine on the Mexican coast near Tam
pico. When dead and spread out on
the beach it presented every appearance
Of an enormous bat OF vampire. It was
fifteen feet long and seventeen feet
wide from the edges of the pectOral
fins. and its mouth was five feet
cross.
An Office boy. fourteen years old.
recently ran of with Us belonging to
q London firm. In court he made this
statement: Some time ago / went to
see Buffalo Bills Wild West and made
up my mind to 60 to America, and as
soon as I got the check cashed I
started of, but. not having enough
money to take me to America. l fol-
lowed the show. l still intend to go to
America, and, even if l shall get ten
years for this offence. I shall 60 after
ward"
There is at Lone Pine. InyO
County, Cal, arock that might be east
ly passed of for a petrifed elephant. A
photograph Of the rock shows as like
possible to the photograph of an
elephant. The trunk. the eyes, the
head and body are all as well formed
in the photograph a il the camera had
been turned to a living animal. The
wrinkles and folds in the skin OF an
elephant and the color are all repeated
in the rock. The symmetry and pro-
portions of the living animal are re-
produced in this remarkable freak of
Vermont man (scornfully)-''Tex-
as? Why, man. Texas can't hold q
to Vermont. From men down
to fiapjacks we're way ahead of you"
Texas man-"Fapjacks? Flapjacks?
I reckon you don't know Watcher talk
in about, stranger. Didjever see a
Texas fiapjack-One Of those fellers that
fifteen pounds, and Is ninety
eight yards in ci'cumf rence?" Yer
-~- (n~hHsAN AN