The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1888-07-25
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Hum, sweet hum-The beehive.
Loud shoes-Those that squeak badly. s.
News of the weak-The hospital re-
ports.
The latest thing out-Generally your
match.
The home stretch--A nap on the
lounge.
Two for scent-A pair of blood
hounds.
Can bank that can stand a loan be
called an infant industry
When the young writer reads the re-
views of his first work he often finds it
is guyed book instead of NOVELETTE,
Journalist.
Gentleman-"I If you will get my coat
done by Saturday l shall be forever in
debted to you" Tailor-"Oh, if that's
your game, it won't be done. ."-SJtiRgs.
Luxuriant verdure decks the plains,
The clover sweet the sunshine fosters,
And now the browsing goat disdains
Tomato cans and circus posters.
boston Courier.
Down on the seashore a single wave
from pretty woman's handkerchief will
attract more attention than all the waves
of old ocean put together. - Teras Sitt-
iRG3.
The porcupine is probably the best in
formed of all the animals He can give
you more points than you will know
what to do with in a week. -Burlington
Free Press.
"And Sc the ice cream season is again
upon us, George, she said shyly. Yes"
he responded. 81 never pick up paper
now that do not expeci to find some
awful case of poisoning "-7He Epoch.
Beneath ripe persimmon-treo
Two learned lawyers chanced to be.
Climb, said the first "lll catch--you toss
'em;n
But t'other shook his head; "Non possunip'
Etiquette-It is correct to address the
Lords of the Admiralty collectively as
"NIy Lords, " but it would be equally
appropriate to add: ~ hope your War
ships are getting along satisfactorily. -
Punch.
Hotel clerks are popularity supposed
to own the biggest diamonds in the
country, but this is not so. Baseball
diamonds are the biggest things Just
now in the public Rochester Post
Express.
A Pennsylvania man who had land
slide of about million tons come down
on his COW PASTURE posted the following
sign on the debris: "a new lot Just re-
ceived. For sale cheap. ."-Buriiagton
Free Press.
Sir Morell Mackenzies work on "The
Voice" is standard authority, and yet
the distinguished physician failed to
note one important fact, which is that
the voice cheers, but does not inebriate.
-Nelo York Sun.
"a rose by any other name would smell as
sweet
A maxim quickened by Shakespeare's
Alas, that Shakespeare did not tell us if
rose by any other name would cost as
much
"Dress," said Smith, with all the
force of an original idea, does not
make man." "NO," replied Jones,
gloomily, as he fingered his wife's dress
makers bill he had Just received, " but
it often breaks a man. ."-Neo YOst Necs.
Behold him a man once exalted in station,
OF friends and of future btr,ft
A few simple words solve the whole situa-
tion;
He monkeyed with stocks and got left.
-SiftmgS.
AS long as Grolites must fall, why do
they not come down over the hackman
who rings door, bells in the dead Of the
night, and wants to knoH where No.
4iDl ISL Ii IS too long to wait for fu-
ture punishment in cases of this sort
COUrier.J0urHdi.
The breezes lit soft on the prairie,
The steamers ply free on the main,
Maud swings ON the gate like fairy
And summers come back once again.
-Duiuth Fdr1grdpher.
The man who has braud-new type
writer and leisure, and lots OF linen
wove manuscript paper cannot help
feeling thlt he has it in his power 10
make a big literary reputation for him
self, if he can only think of something
to say.-Ne,0 York Nc,rs.
There was young man in Cuba
Who was learning TO play tuba,
When the frail alto horn
Toot' loudly in scorn,
And prov liked a rebellion in Cuba.
-Cti,aJo Nslrs
"He's no better, doctor. You told
me to give him as much of the powder
as would lay on siNpence. | hadn't six
pence, but ! gave him as much as would
lie on five pennies and two pennies,
and it's done him no good at all, at ALL
San FrdH,sci0 Neos-L tCr.
al see, said Mr.. Ringfnger, of hila-
delphia, "that the taohyglosus hystrix
at the zoo is dead. That is a severe
loss. "Oh, well, % returned Mrs Ring
finger, 'the Zoo is rich. They can send
round to John WanamaKer's and get an
other, hain't got no symp'thy for them
folks. n-Ae0 fgTk Sun,