The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1888-06-05
An Echo from Kauai.

Nh. EDrrORs The accounts o. the
visit Of the editors Of the Gazette and
Bulletin to Kauai, as they have appeared
in these enlightened journals, are per
fectly saturated with moiesty. Yet
they are calculated TO mislead the read
ing public as TO the real sensation which
the editorial advent created.
As soon As it was noised about that
two rival editors were turned loose on
our shores, our hospitable citizens made
elaborate preparation for their reception.
All along the triumphsl route clothes
were carefully removed from lines,
stray articles adjusted TO safer localities,
and dogs hitherto chained given hOlI
day Having fortified themselves BY
few more extra precautions, the kauaians
calmly awaited the onslaught.
With the eccentrieiry OF genius the
editors mounted the koloa stage TO
reach Kappa When the driver had
contemplated their gripsacks with
proper degree OF reverentiaI awe, he
told them Ethe editors, not the grip
sacks that he wouIdn' charge them any
thing II they would take the other stage
Logan replied that Sll the world is q
stage, but passengers could reach Kappa
as well by the hapaa stage As any other.
Concealing their valises beneath their
listers they hailed the other Jehu, who
being privily warned that they were the
champion lightweight sloggers Of the
Supreme Court and Veto Prerugatiye,
gave them seats with an alacrity border
ing on electricity. In due time they
were delivered at the ke4lia boarding
house, where they gorged four years
subscription. Soon after many persons
eager for news and hungry for informal
ton thronged around.
One man wanted 10 know whether g
war between Russia and Patagonia is
imminent My friend" said Logan,
con6dentially, ''sOme people say such i
war Is on the taps, and some say it
Isn't As an impartial journalist, am
bound to publish both sides. The Ga
zette viii keep you posted on the issues
Of the day ST s. per sunum in advance"
Whereupon the interlocutor advanced
the per snnum, but deferred the IS till
the end Of the year.
A solemn individual approached Hill,
saying: Now, suppose | conspiTe 10
defraud the Government out of $500,
and my fine OF 800 reduces the net
profit to 1900" ''Sir," interrupt,
Hill, ''the Weekly Summary Of the Bull
lstin deals with that question; sub
seriptiOn payable in advances" The
man cheerfUIIy subscribed wear In ad-
vance OF payable.
A mathematician said to Logan, :"
give up the Hen and Egg Problem and
pass out on the Apple Boom, but l am
dying BY inches to know the solution of
this: Ii mule and half kick boy
and q half In second and q half up a
fight and half OF the golden stains
Here Logan intimated that the Weekly
Gazette, etc, etc, and the man dug
down into his pocket, etc, etc.
To man DESTROYS Of knowing how TO
graft eucalyptus on sunfower, Hill re-
piled scientifically, " TIE Weekly Sum-
mary viii graft hair on d bald head. y
And then and there the man did tumble
and did at once produce the wherewith
4 gaunt female wanted to know
Logan's sentiments on prohibition. That
eminent sage replied, 81 Far be it from
me to prohibit any one from subscribing
for the Weekly Gazette, for OF such is
the kingdom OF heaYeB-in advance"
Sir" observed q venerable gent to
Hill, .. I have been a careful and atten-
tive reader OF your valuable journal for,'i
50 And, sir, interrupted Hill, referring
to his pass book, you are in arrears six
months" And it Immediately came to
- -
three seconds
And thus the two continued to adj
vance information-in advance. And
when they returned to Honolulu, to
slash each other on the issues of the
day, their yalises were full Of silver
And everybody remarked what fine fell
lows they were and how willing they
we're to impart MISUNDERSTANDING |
IN advance.
REEF 0RME.