St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-11
ARIZONA KICKER.
Several Vigorous Kicks Made by
Him.


Him.
Detroit Free Press.
From the last issue of the Arizona
Kicker:
A New Departnre.-NeXt week we
shall begin the publication of an agri-
cultural department in the Kicker, thus
making years subscription ten times
as valuable as at present, without in
creasiDg the cost to subscribers. We
have made arrangements with tender
foot who struck the town without a
cent to take charge of the new depart
ment. He is sailor by trade, and we
ing the difference between coyote and
a Hubbard squash. He may make a
few plumbers on the go-Off, as he sticks
to it that potatoes ought to grow on
trees. and that wheat grows wrong end
to, but he is hummer, and will get
there by and by. Remember, this de-
partment does not increase the sub
scription at all. We are simply trying
to publish paper worth 500 per year
for SO.
Come Again-If there is a more
courteous gentleman in all the great
West than Col. Dubiff we should like
his address. We referred to the colonel
the other day as an unhung thief. 1t
was only our way, but he took eXcep-
lions, and called at the Office Tuesday
and Knocked us down. The blow was
delivered in the most genteel manner,
and was not accompanied with any
verbal ntteranceS to shock cur SENSIBLE
tiles. Neither did the colonel gouge
our eyes nor chew our ears after we
were down. He was cool. calm and
composed. and we freely admit that we
got up with an increase of SO per cent
in respect for him. Our nose was
skinned and we knocked an auction bill
into ''pi' as we fell. but we have no
grudge to satisfy. The colonel could
do no less, and we are thankful he did
no more. We shall be pleased to see
him again.
Not DisappOinted-Ihe common coun-
Gil has awarded the city printing to the
Weekly Tom Cat, as was expected, and
that dishrag of sheet is giving us the
grand crow. We are not disappointed.
We put in the lowest bid. and we have
the largest circulation. but the alder
men owed us one. The Kicker has re-
corded and exposed them as forgers,
thieves and gamblers, and they do not
think of us with kindness. And, too,
they were under lasting obligations to
the raw b )ned. knOck-kneed, cross eyed,
bow-backed old hyeDa who runs the
opposition paper. Had he not been
member of the last grand jury every
mothers son of 'em would have gone
to prison. We have no tears to shed,
gentlemen. You are on top just now,
but wait few weeks. We are working
up your pedigrees, and Billy Pinkerton
is coming this way in October.
Let Him Co. Y. z. Hopkins, famil-
iarly known to our citizens as THE
Young Crowbar of the Rockies" called
at the Office yesterday and stopped his
paper, because, as he explained, sit
had no literary merit" We are glad TO
be rid OF him. He hasn't got brains
enough to appreciate good thing when
it is held under his nose. No literary
merit! Great Scott, but how some peo-
pie are built! We have been looking
over the last three numbers, and we
find that they average three murders,
two hangings, five roberies, two elope-
ments and two shipwrecks each. and the
testimonials of those who have been
cured OF consumption, govt and rheu-
uidbiSLl dlC HOb oiOW IcdufUS Wy diy
means. While we are glad to see Mr.
Hopkins go, we shall keep an eye on
his future movements. II he has es-
capped from some Eastern idiotic asylum
our people ought to know it.
Thanks-Our thanks are due Mrs.
Gen. Shift for peck of beautiful
onions sent in a day or two ago. Also,
to Mrs. Judge Hendricks for six tooth
some sandwiches and dozen pickles.
Also to Maj. Hayes for two pounds of
butter and a slice of ham. 1t is gen.
orally known that we board ourselves,
and our friends vie with each other in
in loading our table with delicacies.
We pity the man without friends.
P. S.-Subscribers will please excuse
the looks of the Kicker this week.
The two pounds of butter mentioned
above got mixed with our ink by acct
dent, causing the latter. to run too
freely. We have added some pulverized
clay to the lot, and expect the ink to
stiffen before our next issue.