The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1888-08-18
SOME LIVELY KICKS.
Vigorous Extracts from n Late, Issue
the "Arizona Kicker"

vigorous Extracts from Late, Issue OF
the "Arizona Kicker"
OUR POLICY. -Heretofore as our
readers know, the Kicker has almost
entirely abstained from publicly criti-
cising the evils which all know to exist
under our noses. We have become
tired and disguised with ourselves for
this lack of spunk, and next week we
shall open red-hot campaign on
The mayor,
The common council,
The fire department,
All secret societies,
The saloons,
The gambling dens,
And on various other organizations
and institutions reeking with corrup-
ton.
1t will be a spicy issue. 1t will make
more than ton of human hair stand
on end. 1t will make a thousand hearts
thump like pile-drivers. Chicanery,
deceit, hypocrisy, theft, robbery, arson
and murder will be properly tagged
off and the tags pinned to the right
coat-tails.
Order your extra copies at an early
date. Advertisers should send in their
copy by Saturday. Don't neglect this
golden opportunity. Another may
never come"
A CANDID OPINIoN.-We have re-
ceived visits from several of our lead
ing politicians to inquire why the Kicker
doesn't take a decided political stand
in favor of one party or the other. 1t
is question easily answered. We are
not publishing a newspaper for fun.
Our convictions all run to publishing a
dictionary or an almanac, thus leaving
us neutral in politics.
If the Kicker flies the Democratic flag
and hustles for Cleveland and Thurman
it must have some solid assurance that
after election the editor will receive a
call. A call with a salary of about
So, 600 hitched to it would just about fit
our shape.
If the Kicker puts up the Republican
ticket and blows for its success it must
have something in writing to fall back
, on after election. We think we could
fall back on post-otiice of the second
class and not fracture our anatomy.
We sat up all night last night wait
ing for a committee of PrOhibitiOnists
to come along and get down to facts,
but the bridges were down and they
didn't come. We don't say that it all
depends on the Kicber which party
rules for the next four years, but we do
solemnly affirm that the editor will
keep clear of the whole mob and pub
fish nothing but poetry and local news
unless some pretty solid promises are
held out to arouse his slumbering con-
victions. We are not for sale, but we
? do banker for office.
{ STOPPED HIS PAPER. - Old Steve
, Bridgeman, who has several times been
alluded to in these columns as the
meanest white man in Arizona, has
stopped his paper because we did not
, have a column editorial on the Fourth
of July. He says we are no patriot,
and that a man who can't whoop err up
= for independence Day is cussed rebel
We have scratched his name off the
: list, and if he doesn't quit lying about
, us we'll scratch his carcass off the face
of the earth.
AS to the Fourth of July, we were
born on that day. As to patriotism,
we've got more in our heels than old
Steve could hold in his whole body
The man who intimates that we don't
take off our hat every time we hear the
| name of Washington is a liar and {
horse-thief. Our editorial on the Fourth
; was a solid chunk OF patriotism weigh
ing twenty-five pounds, but was crowded
out to make room for the advertisement
, headed: "How to Cure a Bad Breath
t We know our gait and we think We
know the great need of most of Oul
townspeople. AS to old Steve Bridge
, man, we are expecting two or three o
his six or seven wives to drop in on Us
| any day and furnish us some powerful
, good reading matter. Don't be uneasy
| Stephen-we'l get to you in few days
WARNING. are no fighter. w
have neither the sand nor the muscle
to make one. We always knuckle un
, less there's chance to run. We ad
, nit to a dozen lickings in the las
= three months, and in every case W.
l were the only one who suffered. How
ever, we want to warn the coyote whC
| plastered our Office door with mud the
!, other night that the worm will turn
l We are the worm. When we turn hi
had better look out. We can be kicked
cuffed, insulted and abused up to Ger
tain limit. How far off the limit is
, we don't know; but, when we reach it
we shall be a bad, bad man to foo
with.-Detr0H Free Press.