The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-31
A REAL ESTATE RUSTLER.
ONE OF THE NATURAL PRODUCTS
OF THE WEST.
uou the Rustler Rustles and Sells
worthless Town Lots Even to CRAFTY
Men Of the East.

GYPSUM NAM ANNNA
estate rustlers are, in my opinion, one of the
natural products of the West. They resemble
wheat plants in their imperious demand for
virgin SOIL No rustler can rustic
ofFectively when hemmed in by costly
buildings. They thrive in small
towns which stand on the banks of
INSIGNIFICANT streams, or on sandy deserts,
or on sagebrush plains. They rustic most
Effectively in towns which contain from 3OO
IN & 600 inhabitants. The more dreary and
uninviting the town the more theoretically
they rustic. am deeply interested in these
mysterious men have studied their hab-
;ts for many months and in many towns,
hut have been unable to solvethe knotty
problem of the origin OF these strange
beings The famous problem of the lights
or of the binomial theorem are merely IN
tellectual TOYS with which to amuse children
in comparison with this twister. There
something uncanny about the prompt ap-
nearance of a rustler in new town. For
Instance: Suppose a new railroad is being
hniIt through a Western Eden-locally
Known as a blizzard breeding ground-and
the manager of the Town Lot Company-a
notwithstanding corporation whose stock is
held by the railroad dlrectorS-lS at the
sagebrush plant standing at the tank of an
alkaline stream, which flows at the bottom
of a ravine during wet seasons. He directs
fine civil engineers TO lay out the town of
Shady Dell They drive stake and set
transit over it. The chief engineer shuts one
eve preparatory to looking through the in
sfrument with the other. His face turns
male. He staggers back and strikes his fore
head with open palm. Before these hardy
,a,,fS
through deserts st nds a man who has
town plot under his arm. a lead pencil in
his hand. and a smile on his face. He is not
+rsvel-stained He is not leg-weary. There
is no smell of sulphur in the air, lie BOWS
graciously and offers to sell three desirable
corner lots to the astonished engineers.
Where did the man come from! No one
knows. Where is he gOingl Nowhere. He is
going to stay at Shady Dell and rustic. The
mystery which surrounds his arrival will
never be penetrated. Such is the origin of
real estate rustlers.
cannot truthfully say that | admire
rustlers. They are not, as a class lovable
men. They are apt to be deceptive, very
deceptive. | have met them 50 frequently
of late that | will endeavor to describe their
personal appearance and habits, so that
Eastern pilgrims, when ON their way to
worship at the shrines of the West, can
recognize UleIl1 anu DSNdI6 VI DI6iIl.
During warm weather a large portion of
the male inhabitants OF the Western towns,
who are not permanently and proftably
engaged in thinning out the population of
the region which they infest by frying
tough steaks and serving them to hungry
and ignorant customers, sit on empty dry
goods boxes and spear atresinouS knots with
lackkuives, the blades of which bear words
which Indicate that that particular knife is
ID Al,
light, or the Rustler's Comfort. These
spearsmen are slouch-hatted. Occasionally
they are strongly prejudiced against the use
fsoap and water, as becomes men who
carry large jackknives. But they are
friendly spoken persons, and reSourceful.
they cheerfully engage strangers in CONVEX
sation, and on slight proyocation they
sharpen stubby lead pencils with the blade
marked Rustler's Comfort, and, with an
adroitneSs that is only acquired by long
practice, lay off the future metropolis of the
Northwest or the Southwest or of the West
without any reference to the magnetic
poles on the top of the dry goods box. They
divide that rough surface into squares to
represent the government subdivision of
land, and among these squares plot the
town. Knots whose rough surface might
break off the point of the stubby pencil,
they encircle with wavy lines and call parks,
Ut dSS6IJ UEdU JueJ diC UAC SlICo VI AOlclS vi
packing houses. or, if the empty box stands
on the sidewalk of a mining sown, silver
smelters are speedily to be built there.
When was in the Rocky Mountains | saw
seven knots so encircled, and on each of
them silver smelter has been built-at
least the rustler with whom l talked told
Inc that work would commence the day
after left town. Eastern pilgrims can
lest assured that the men whom they see
-l,
ana who are so handy with jackknives and
lead pencils, are real estate rustlers, and if
the pilgrim lightly dallies with one of these
men he will probably become the posSessor
OF town lots
Ispaak directly to the pilgrim: You may
ask one of these men to direct you to Ger
tain point you wish to see. If he smiles
graciously and draws pencil and begins TO
lay off your route on the box your only
safety is in instant and swift flight. If you
tarry he will lay off labyrinthical route to
hewilder you. Then he will Chamber down
from the box, close his jackknife, and put it
and the pencil in his pocket, and kindly
offer to guide you to the point you desire to
see If you weakly consent to be guided by
him you are lost. Wolves do not lead tender
lambs into the remote recesses of dense
forests to show them wild flowers. The
route, as the pleasant-spoken rustler mapped
- iiiONl ItibiY 6Ct4y Ny oOIllc lOOS
that are for sale, the owner, having broken
his leg, is lying in the hospital in financial
straits in addition to splints-and the pill
grim will regret that he had not broken his
neck when he was about it if he buys the
lots.
If not on box the real estate rustler lives
In an office, generally ON the ground floor of
acheap building and easy of access. Here,
surrounded by the tools of his craft, e.,
town plots, a ruler, a sheet of blotting paper,
an INK pot five rusty pens, several lead
pencils, and pile of the latest newspaper
winch published an Illustrated article on the
advantages offered toinvestors in the future
metropoliS--for which the real estate rustlers
pad handsomely-ther ustler sits, and spider
IKE, waits patiently for his prey. A visitor,
stranger, enters. He is cordially well
coined and skillfully led by easy lines to the
financial slaughter and if the pilgrim is not
wary he buys lots in Highland Addition, or
On Fark avenue, or among the palaces of
spiendor. The strangers desire TO possess
Ieal estate in the shape Of town lots having
peen fully satisfied he departs, and the
rustier has something fried at 12 o'clock
ana actually thinks he has dined. The one
weakness which / have discovered to be
common to all rustlers is that they really
Deheve that something fried in moderately
warm lard and slung on table by a greasy
ana savage waiter at II o'clock is a royal
qlnner and elegantly served. After having
FelreShed himself with some Jumps of fried
nleat The rustler feels the need of exercise,