Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1888-07-17
OUR EXPECTATIONS.
"How very unfortunate"

and myself respectively one bright Septem-
Der morning as we sat at breakfast In the
dining room Of our tiny. old fashioned cot
tage at Lowthorpa Before us each lay an
open letter, and it was the contents OF these
ietters-individually and collectvely-whlch
had called forth the remarks set down above
To be more explicit, Elias letter was from
her uncle, Gregory Carper, signify1ng bus
intention of paying us a visit on the follow
ing Tuesday My letter was from my uncle,
Simon Finicker. saying he intended paying
Us a visit on the following Tuesday.
Nothing particularly alarming in that. you
think
Wait little Old Gregory Carper was
most eccentric and iraScibie individual OF
reputed fabulous wealth, who had more than
once distinctly stated that it was his fnten'
lion to make his only niece tmy wife, his
heiress Old Fnicker. my mothers brother,
YVES also rich in this worlds goods, and it
was generally understood that l, Charles
Dauyers was to be his heir. And between
these two old men there was a deadly feud.
The quarrel had taken place six months ago;
and each uncle after giving Us an exhaustive
catalogue OF the enemy's enormitiesl had
rworp in turn that ii we, Ella and Charles
Danvers, exchanged words, letters or visits
with the said enemy in future, we should be
ostracized by the remaining uncle forever.
Now, for more reasons than one, Ella and
looked upon this as a serious contingency;
and regret to say that we had recourse to du-
piicity We gave each uncle to understand
that we held the other as the scum Of the
earth of we didn't exactly say so. we implied
TIA; and, SO far, we had kept on tolerably
friendly terms with both We called our baby
we had haby-Gregory and Simon by
turns. He had been christened Simon Greg
ory in the presence Of both uncles just q week
before the fatal quarrel took place. poor
little souii used to shudder when thought
of his debut with such a rame at the public
school where bis mother talked already Of
sending him.
offer no excuse for our objectionable con-
duct acknowledge that played the part
of a mean, abject sneak But | trust the
reader viii see that, under existing circum-
stances, the projected simultaneous visits of
these two uncles was, to say the least of it,
awkward
However, there was no help for It To
write and put either of would offend the put
Of one almost as mortally as to allow the
dreaded meeting to take place.
erimly, after q short pause. "By joveI there
will"
Ella stirred her coffee abstractedly; and I
stuck nv eggspoon vindictively through the
shell of my third egg, with vague wish that
l were infiictins corporal injury on either
Objectionable relative.
'.Charlier said my wife, in piteous tones,
when some few minutes had elapsed, what
1ow
ASK me something easier. my dear," l re-
piled gloomily-
at is so awkward in every way" she went
on "Jane does not return from her holiday
until Wednesday" Jane was our housemaid)
And cooks being SO deaf makes her SO
stupid And your uncle is SO fdgety and
particular" she added.
did not reply, but reread both letters 81
lently. No. there was no mistake, both
upcles were coming on Tuesday. Mr.. Carper
proposed three days visit; Mr.. Finicker in
tended starting early on Wednesday morn
ine.to attend a cattle show some twenty miles
from Lowthorpe He would come down, he
INV uncle, said, by the 5:l3 from Waterloo.
..As usual, Mr. Carper does not mention
the train he intends coming down by" OBJ
served G-yly. "There only remains, as a
ri;max. that they should both elect to come
by the 5:15"
20. Charliei Surely nott"
81 think it is more than likely" I 70
armed with the calmness Of despair, as
proceeded to unfold the newspaper. I had
lust ten minutes TO read and digest it before
catching my train up to town.
.'Charhe, how can you sit there coolly
reading the paperi" exclaimed my wife,
Utmost in tears.
my DEAR demonstrated, "there are five
days to come before Tuesday. We don't
know what may happen in that time. One OF
the old fools may-er-ahemi We can talk
It over when come home tonight" l con-
rluded hastily. Then, with what have been
told is the innate selfshness of the masculine
mind. plunged into the news Of the day.
When | came home at night Ella met me
with beauling smile
Charlie" she began gleefuliy, as d.
vested myself of my hat and overcoaf, Il
have Thoughts of plan"
"A plan y echoed vaguely.
Reader-I give you my word had forgot
ten all about those two fendish old men
"Oh. the unc!esw ! groaned, after a mo-
ment,s reflection "Let US have dinner first,
Nell. and indigestible relatives afterward"
~.
do, obeyed her lord and master, and dinner
proceeded as usual ----'------- -''''.''
When had lighted my pcetprandial pipe
stretched myself out upon the sofn, folded
my arms behind my head, and intimated that
was ready to hear the "plan"
Ny wife came and seated herself on low
Ttood beside me-
You see, Charlie" she began, with round,
solemn eyes fixed upon mine, 81 have thought
and thought al day. and this seems the only
thing to be done"
well r I said e1pectantly, as she paused.
"Wen," she went on, 81 am confident that
Uncle Simon will arrive first on Tuesday,
and he shall have the pink room"
~ have no objection" ! observed, as she
paused again, ''but fail to see how that can
help US"
''Chariie, you are SO stupid, dear. You
know there is something the matter with the
lock Of the pink room door"
looked-as felt-bewildered.
Eyes" l assented, helplessly.
"Well. Charlie" in impatient tones "dont
you understandT
~ confess to being stil at sea, my DEAR"
said, with abject humility "But 60 %.
Untold your plan, and my feebler intellect
viii try to follow. The uncle who appears
drst upon the scene, Uncle Simon, think you
said, is to have the pink room, and there Is
something the matter with the lock Of the
pink room door 1 think have mastered
these two important detaiia' And apresf'
Don't you seer my wife went on with
growing excitemsnk Tho lock hiss often
s.uck fast before Il did the last time Uncle
Simon was here We could not get it open