The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1888-09-08
The Drummer's Patent Bed.


the other day on the Sixth avenue
elevated road between gentleman
and New York drummer;
II should think you fellers would
git sorter tired riding on the cars so
much" said the gentleman.
mot at ALL" replied the drummer.
Riding on the cars dom tire us. We
travel so much that we get used to it.
The only time we get tired is when we
rest.
"You don't get much sleep. do you,
while you are on the cars?'
1--WE do most of our sleeping on the
cars. Some of us drummers get SO
used to sleeping on the cars that we
can't sleep anywhere else"
"You don't tell me SOP
didn't you ever hear OF Sam
Brinkerhoff and his railroad bed?"
"Who is Sam Brinkerhoffp"
'.He is a commercial tourist who
travelled in wine and whisky"
1--WE seen several of EN- who was
sorter given that way, but l don't re-
member any such name"
"Well, Sam was rusher. He
could get over more ground and sell
more goods than any other man on
the road. For this reason he travelled
a great deal by night He never slept
except on the cars. until it became
second nature to him."
"You don't sayr'
LAS was going to say, he received
the news one day that rich uncle
had died and left him all his money,
so Sam was a rich man all at once. He
quit the road and determined to settle
down and lead a quiet life, but it was
no use."
What was the matter?'
He couldn't sleep. He had become
so accustomed to the swing and racket
of railroad train that he couldn't get
wink of sleep. The quietness even
of hotel almost drove him crazy. In
order to get any sleep, he had to have
noise and racket at night"
He might have got that by getting
married and coming home late from
the lodge"
"Iknow that; but that wasn't the
kind of noise to which he was accrs-
toned"
s.Well, what did he do?"
I'm order to get some sleep he had
to travel Then he slept all right.
While he was travelling over the coun-
try he made the acquaintance of a
mechanical genius. A happy thought
occurred to him. He offered the me.
chanical genius large sum to con-
struct him bed that would shake and
| joggle like train in motion"
"Was the bed SUGGEST"
ut was perfect success in every
respect. was at Sans residence in
Philadelphia when it was tried for the
first time. Sam got into the bed and
touched a button. The bed sway
ed and ratified and jumped.
Every few minutes there was a sound
like the banging of door. There was
little steam pipe at the back of the
bed, and every once in while it snort
ed like locomotive. In ten minutes
Sam was sleeping like top
"What a wonderful bed that mus
have been! And you say you saw itp''
"Why, certainly. 1 was in. the
room"
at ought to have had a conductor '
TT did have conductor, to all in
tents and purposes. The bed had I
Doc hunnana attachment to 1t. Tht
imitation of the conductors voice wa
perfect. 1t was startling to hear thai
zoe hun,anG say: 'tickets, if YOU
pleased
Its a wonder you didn't have al
accident.
We did have an an accident"
'Oh, git outI'
Certainly, we did. There was al
accident button at the head of the BET
but the man that constructed. the be-
forgot to tell Sam about i"
"And you had sure-enough acci
dentP''
"Of course we did. Sam accidently
touched the button with his hand. H
, had pulled open the throttle valve. ant
the bed was going at the rate Q
seventy miles an hour. There cam
shrek of danger from the steam
whistle. There was strange. GRIND
ing sound, mixed up with some bol
, rible profanity uttered by the cor
= ductor-I mean the vor humane. {
! course. Then the bed began to buc
, like Texas COW pony. 1t raised i
self up on its hind lie gs, SO to speal
n and snorted."
. wonder the train wasn't ditched.
1 at was ditched. All at once. Sa,
n was hurled with frightful violenc
q against the ceiling. and the bed turne
n over on one side.
4 "Well. I declare. I wouldn't ha1
: believed it.
1 "Sam's making money now"
"Howp"
HE has formed partnership wit
r the inventor Of the bed, and they al
d turning them out by the thousand"
r "For the use of retired drummers.
y mo. for everybody who don't lii
h T. isitors. You see, the bed looks lii
4 an ordinary bed. The bed is place
in the VISITORS room. and as soon
J, the obnoxious person is asleep the b.
e is turned loose. 1t has been improy
O SO that it adjusts itself, and the Wis
a or thinks it's ghosts or delirium tr
a mems. My wife's mother arrived Ia
Q Wednesday. She Intended to stay 6
# months. I had ones of Sans beds
d her room. She lett for home Thursd
o morning. Ibid all could to persua
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