The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1888-10-03
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

1he moose mas a great head.
An ink convenience "A pen.
A sin of commission-More than ten
per cent.
Milk that is absolutely pure, must be
milk of the first water.-LJe.
The lighthouse keeper ought to be
we'll posted in light housekeeping. !
1t is not surprising that an alma mater
should give her students diploma
Time.
New York can stand the rag and tag,
but it can't endure the bobtail car
LOieeH Couri =.
When mal sits down and reflects,
it does not always prove that he is
brilliant. Judge.
A manse, little friend, is house, and
a romance ought TO be a boat house, but
it is not.-LMyper's Ba.ar.
An Exchange says: "The buttermillS
habit is spreading" So is the butter
habit, for that matter. r.-Picdyuae.
Bill collectors sometimes initiate the
promoters of a colonization scheme and
offer special inducements to settlers.
A Pittsburg man has parrot which
can say "Polly wants crackerw in
three different languages. She is a Polly
glot.
It is hardly fair to sneer at a carpenter
because you see him driving every day.
Driving nails is not luxurious pastime.
= HayPe1'S Bdzar.
mamma, " said little Willie, in spect-
ing a porous plaster, ''are them holes
where the pain comes throughgn-
BRAKES Magazine.
One of the parachute jumpers has been
! killed out West in falling from his
Lalloon. He took drop too much
philadelphia Pres.
A Boston weighing machine has this
inscription over it: ''Insert a half-dime
avoirdupois. -Bazdr.
81 hear you have had an addition to
your family, Mr.. Brown" Mr. Brown
(sadly): multiplication, my dear
Madam-tw;nsl l"--LiTe.~
Guest-'Isn't my dinner ready yeti"
New Waitor-"O, certainly; it was
ready yesterday. 1t is just being warmed
over little. "-Sytiags.
The recent act which prevents the
pding of dunning postal ids through
fhe mails should have been entitled:
''Post No Bills"-NeiO YOrs Nses.
Eastern people are discussing the
question: "Who is the g eatest living
novelist!" The correct answer is that
there isn't any. Detroit Free Press.
"She's the evenest temper ever you saw
He said as he saw me vince
"She got mad once at seven years old,
/ I'M She's CtaVa1 mad einOa y
Ee Smth-"Hello, Travis You
look awfully cut up about something.n
Tavis-"Yes; shaved myself for the
first time this morning, Burlington
Free Press
"These are hard times" sighed the
young collector of bills. every place
went to day | was requested to call again,
but one, and that was when | dropped in
to sec my girl. '-Sitings.
A young Philadclphian perceives the
disadvantage of living in the Quaker
City," when he gets letter from his best
gir, addressing him as Friend
Charles. ~ LIE.
That's itn exclaimed Mrs. Bascom
at the concert, as the singers came out
again in lesponse to an encore. make
ZEN do it over again until they get the
thing right. - Burlington Free fres.
A cynical man says that there are two
occasions when he would like 10 be
present One is when the gas company
pays its water bill; the other is when the
water company pays its gas bill. l.-Sift-
iags.
Says Willie to Clara; ''You blush, maiden
meek;
Twas my glance that planted the rose in
your cheek.
Let me pluck it," Her lashes the blush-roses
Says she: ''Tis but right where you SOW you
should reap
Judge
Prosecuting Attorney Selecting a
juIy) -"Isn't the prisoner relative of
yonlsi" Juror-"No, sir; he is a rea.
tive Of my wife's." Prosecuting Attor-
ney-''Your Honor, the prosecution ac-
cepts this gentleman. ."-N0 York Sua.
Leader of Street Band docking into
the sky with extreme disgust, and speak
ing in stentorian voice. 'Half an hours
playing and only thirteen 'nts We
viii try one of Wagner's grand COM
positions" Shower OF silver coin from
neighboring window and fifty voices in
agonized entreaty-Aloye on - Chicago
Jriipae
"Why, sir" said the fireman, "the
ingratitude Of some people is way be-
yond understanding At the Skyhi fats
last week ! saved stock brokers'
daughter-carried her down a spliced
ladder seventy feet long, and now"-the
honest fellow gasped for hreath-'pm
blowed if he doesn't want me to marry
~ - Ns., YgrH Nm