The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1888-04-04
Pith and Point.

paper 1Or ~ an unHltlgateu liar.
THE French have completed the evacua-
ton of the New Hebrides Islands.
THE recent cold snap nipped many a
spring bonnetin the bud Washington critic.
INTELfIGENT girls should marry farmers,
for they are all men of cuture-agri-
| culture.-Edrh.
THE real " boy wonder " is the youth who
would rather saw stick of wood than haul
a sled five miles.
A WESTERN Judge has decided that peo-
pie may eat onions, even II it is disagreeable
to the neighborS.
WILDCAT insurance company is not
properly named. In an emergency it does
not come up to the STANDARDIZATION Trans
cript.
THE people of this country are not in
need of any new language. Many of them
can not speak the one they have. -Rjchmond
State.
A LITTLE girl of six, writing stories about
George Washington, said: "George Wash
ngton never told a lie, neither did
Martha. - WesJfeld (Nass.) Times
A CIRCULAR in regard to taxes in San
dusky, and signed Many Citizens" was
traced to a horse doctor only three weeks
from Canada and who hardly owned the
clothes on his back.
A GENTEEL carver" says book of eti-
! quette "always sits when he carves."
!
wrestlng-match with the chicken are known
| by some other name.
AN eccentric individual who died recently
| in Barren county, KY, had not seen his
| father or brother for thirty years, although
| living within three miles of them and being
on good terms with them.
THE news comes from New York that coal
will be cheaper in few weeks This in
| formation is about as comforting as the
assurance that sick man will feel better
when he gets well.-LoDeH citizen.
A SOUTHWEST Missouri attorney is re-
| ported to have made the following remarks
| in closing a case: " Owing to the perjury of
the witnesses, the ignorance Of the jury and
the prejudice of the judge l expect to lose
! this case"
STRANGER Ito boy: "Boy, can you direct
me to the nearest bank?" Boy: " kin for
twenty-five cents" Stranger; Twenty
five cents! Isn't that high pay?" Boy:
! Yes, sir, but it's bank directors what gifts
high pay"
LATE arrival, Whispering to a stanger at
a concerD: Is that the violin virtuoso just
! leaving the stage?" Stranger: " burned if
| know whether he is virtuous or not, but
| he can play the fiddle like thunder. -
! washington critic.
A YOUTHFUL Chicago story-teler offered
! the following unique prize story: The
minister's wife had nine small children,
each of which was one year younger than
the other. Though poor she was diligent
woman. - Commonwealth
"WHY do you suffer from catarrh?"
asked medical advertisement. What
| fool question. Because that's what's the
matter with us Do you expect a fellow to
suffer from dislocaton of the hip joint when
| he has catarrh?"-BUrdeue.
LITTLE JOHNNY (after spanking) Aunt
Susie, are you going to heaven?' Aunt
Susie: "Why, yes; l hope So" Johnny;
Well, when you die and die and we both
! 90 to heaven and get to be angels shant
fly where you fly. Washington Post.
GATHER" said the editors little boy
4" is the new emperor of Germany an editor?
| see when he speaks of himself he says
We I" No, my SON. That is word the
emperors have stolen from the editors with
out proper credit '-Peorid Transcript.
OLD GENT " why does your father go
around begging instead of working" Little
boy He begs so he can get money to buy
whiskey." Old gent: But why does he
drink whiskey?" Little boy: so he can get
up courage to go around and beg."-TeraS
! SVtjngS.
LITTLE Stuart had spent his first day at
school. What did you learn" was his
auntie's question. Didn't learn anything"
well what did you do?" Didn't do
anything There was woman wanting to
know how to spell cat and after she both
cred some time told her"
AN instrumental concert by thirty must
clans was given lately under dropping
rose-tree. The event took place at RoOsteren,
in Holland, in the garden of Nine. Reynen,
| This prodigious rose-tree measures twenty
metres in circumference and has produced
more than 10000 roses at once.
FEARING that some woman may sail in
upon us and give us a cowhiding we will
explain. The winkng and blinking of our
right eye goes on oftentimes when we are
not aware of it, caused by recent spell
and long one, too-of neuralgia in that
member Broncood (Ga.) Reporter.
FATHER" said Robert, " Il have long
cherished desire to go on the stage, and
have at last decided, with your permission,
to-" My son." interrupted the fond
father, " all the worlds stage. Take that
hoe hanging in the woodshed and go out
and dig those potatoes back of the orchard"
The engagement lasted a week-Hdrper'S
Bdzdr.
Young FITzGREEN took a very delicate
way of declaring himself to his best girl,
the other day. He wrote her on a
postal card as follows Dear Company:
| will call tonight about 7:30. Yours,
Misery" The girl was indignant at first,
and showed the card to her mother. The
eagle-eyed matron saw through it. Misery
loves Company" said she.
THAT farm scene you seem to be sneer-
ing at. sir said the indignant artist, =" is
valued at $500. 1t is generally considered a
fine painting Allow me to ask You if you
are familiar with works of art?' " Not very
familiar, replied the agrculturist, who was
looking through the studio with his wife,
"but know something about the works of
nature, young man, and when you make
COW that gets up from the ground by putting
out her forefeet first you are doing some
| thing that nature never did. Come, Nancy,
let's go. "-ChicdgO Tribune.
To show how his known benevolence
subjected him to all kinds of impudent beg
ging letters, there was one which he re-
ceived with his large mail one morning
which made him laugh, and he showed il.
| The writer said she was young girl who
had never had silk dress and that she
had heard of his kindness and generosity,
and she would be so happy if he would
send her blue silk dress, He had it bought
and sent, although he felt the impudence of
the request, yet he could not resist the
pleasure of imagining the girls delight in
owning and wearing a blue silk Dress
RecolectionS Of W W. CorcordR.
A STORY is going the rounds of the foreign
press which demonstrates that queens may
| be as careless as the traditional Biddy.