davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1888-05-31
Stopped His Paper.

Stay. foreman, stay that ruthless speet
At task OF type arranging,
For at this moment there Is need
or multifarious changing;
Turn oil the brazen colemn-rules,
Take out the head and drape 'er
With signs Of woe--that prince o
fools,
Old Sneakly stopped his paper.
Stay. pressman, In thy busy flight,
Aud heed this admonition
Thy labors are abridged tonight
Well run small edition;
And join, o comrades. In our tears
At this untimely caper,
BY which we loose the fruit Of years,
Since Sneakly stopped his paper.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1888-05-31
A Little Lesson in Grammar.

Careless habits Of speech are among
the prominent faults OF our young
people, even those young people who
have advantages of schools and intel
ligent homes surroundings. Recog-
nizing this, the professor OF English
literature at Wellesley College has
prepared list OF "words, phrases
and expressions to be avoided from
which the young (and old) readers
will receive many seasonable hints
Guess. for suppose or think.
Fix, for arrange or prepare.
Reul, as an adverb, in expressions
real good, for really or very good,
etc.
Some or any. In an adverbial sense;
e. e., 4 have studied souie,' for some.
what. Il have not studied any for
at all.
Some ten days, for about ten days.
Not as know, for not that know.
Storms, for it rains or SHOWS mod
erately.
Try an experiment, for make All eIs
pertinent.
Singular subject with contracted
plural verb e. g., "Sho don't skate
we'll"
Plural pronoun with singular ante-
cedent Every man or woman
should do their duty" or, III you
took any one straight in the face,
they will finch"
Expect for suspect.
First rate, as IN adverb.
Nice, Unfortunately. (Real nice
may be doubly faulty.)
Had rather, for would rather.
Had better, for would better.
Right away for Immediately.
Party, for person.
Promise for assure.
Posted, for Informed.
Depot, for station.
Stopping, for staying.
Try and do, for try to do.
Try and so, for try to 20.
Cunning, for small, dainty.
Cute, for acute.
Funny, for odd or unusual.
Above, for foregoing, more than OF
beyond.
Does 1t look good enough, for wei
enough.
Somebody else's for somebody's
else.
Like l do, for as do.
Not as good as, for not 40 good as.
Feel badly, for feel bad.
Feel good, for feel well.
Between 81 -sny Tor sGacng . seven.
Seldom or ever, for seldom il ayer
or seldom or naxnr- -
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1888-05-31
Bucknell University.

~ m attention 70 IT, full courses Of study
~ large library fund, its new astronom,sn,P,'
rory romsrsy in healthfulness Of location IN n,
musis pIS SaIiS, On, cheaGness, and It's new art snd
mia. F"r Su,m,ng. mn HAS no superior In Psnasyivs
ion 70 s1s isa0,mstiOn will be ssnt on sppica
pso p,sAsviDJ.HILL, "a IL. D. Lswi.bure. p.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1888-05-31

YER coin, inqnired' :Can you t. -
the value of thisi" A glance AZ SEf
coin caused something Of a W.
tion, for unless it was an In
the missing dollar of lOOuS
piece of silver for which CO...
tors had sought in vain A0Ao'
than three quarters OF G,
turned up at last, and ha
30 little from the effects {
usage that it was evidep,out food
random appraisement OF
upon it would not near, y ss w.,, ~
or entbusiastio nnmisn' Phosphates.
"There are" say the cAer that d. d.
there silver dollars Of i, a.
tepce. Two of these
for; the third is some,' found to be
lation abcut the coun a sama b;gb
ue of this missing do
quoted in the numisr
is $780," When asked enterprising
the coin, the gentlemt .yania.
a lighting-rod agent, ,
in part payment for W
farmer near Auburn,
an heirloom in the Ingredients.
ars., arS .@u ua1s.lae' na,..r 'tikage, etc.
from the lighting-rooealy prepared
When IL first came ia
it was black with age,
frightened up. From
dition it could not have
circulation" hhC&S
Shave you received any sssss
Several. Among othars -
frsind in Denver, who .ren 20. |
kpows q wealthy real esta .oc.
who will be willing TO give tss'
TOR the coin or course, / wo' alleged
" se instsnt sor soch price" q %1,, = {
Tho GentIon1oA Who now possiscx. y
=
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1888-05-31
The Missing Dollar Of 1904,

A large, fashionably dressed mad.i
entered local newspaper oilico v.r;
Pittsburg on Monday, accompa
by two others, aud extending a;sfs..r.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-24
The Newspaper Law.

The following is the law as it
Itinds relating to newspapers and
descriptions:
l. Subscribers who do not give
kxpress notice to the contrary are
considered wishing to continue their
descriptions.
:. Any person who takes a pa
ber regularly from the post-office,
whether directed in his name or
no,her's, or whether he had sub
bcribedor not, irresponsible for pay.
bent
I. ia person orders his paper
scontinued he must pay arrears,
the publisher may continue to
fnd it until payment is made, and
zen collect the whole amount
neither the paper is taken from the
|ost.office or not.
4. The courts have decided that
ffusing to take newspapers or pc
odicals from the post office, or re-
oving and leaving them uncallcd
b, isprima fdcie evidence OF inten-
cnal fraud.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-24
He Weakened.

Arka nsaw Traveller.
Old John Henfin, of Coon Range.
KY, witnessed, the other night al
McVickcr's theater, the perform
ance of midsummer Nights
Dream" Old John is not dramat.
ic critic. Indeed, before this lucky
stroke of art came down upon him
his only witness of dramatic per
formanccs was the scholars" OF
Mount Ebcneczer church, who
proud and Impcrions, talked off the
flowing lines of Shakespeare, and
drawling, called out the limping
numbers Of young Pollock's Course
Of I ime."
After the old fellow had taken
his seat, just in that chafing time
between the orchestra's grumbling
music and the curtains shutting
rise, fellow Of low minded cast
whispered to the countryman that
the whole thing was a sell.
"If it is" said old man Henfin,
they've got to give me my money
back, You bet I'm no slouch goin'
round the country to be imposed
upon"
"You have been drinking, haven't
your"
"Wall," the old fellow replied, al
haven't been drinkin' ernuff' ter put
er clay covered shoe on my sense.
But tell you whufs er fack, ef
find that have drunk too much I'll
be dinged ef don't tell you"
The play proceeded. No more
was said until old Bottom, sadly be.
witched by Puck, appeared wear.
ing the ass's head. Old John, after
gazing for a time al what he regard.
ed as an apparition, turned to his
friend, and said
I'll reckon / have been a drinkin'
leetle too much o that stuff"
"Why soi"
ooh, well, / don't like ter say"
"Then why do you think you
have been drinking too mucb"
Merely by whut I've seed.p
What have you seenY
Enough ter send me back home
/ tell you. Lemme tell you one
thing. | have been around a good
deal. j have, an know whut life
Is, but lemme tell you, when er man
comes along with a mules head on
its time fur er honest man ter gil
erway. ken stand about ez much
ter drink ez anybody, but ~ her
ECKER gins ter put mule heads on
me, Wy, dinged ef don't think if,
time ter qui, an go home. Lemms
tell you one. thing. When er mul,
comes along an winks st me, wy
| think its time ter call a hal
summers, an Pm goin' ter call Il
right now. When a mule winks al
me ] weaken"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-24
Ideal Husbands and Wives.

1t may be ,ruthfully said. re.
marks a writer in the Pittsburgh
Dispatch, that less than onc.fourth
OF the women who marry know
what they are doing. They hav,
no idea of what Their duties are
much less their rights. About al
they know is that they are getting
married. Is il any wonder that $,
many are disappointed and wish
they were out of IL?
1t is perfectly right for woman
to have an ideal husband, yet sh,
should have clear and distinct idea
of what constitutes an ideal wife
There's where the trouble lies
They all want ideal husbands, bu,
never seem to think that men may
want ideal wives. Men imagine
that wife will make them happy
and women think that the only thing
that they need to put an end to their
troubles is To secure "a husband.
How sadly both arc disappointed.
The wife who expects her husband
to make her happy is fore doomed
to disappointment; so is the man
who expects the same from his
wife. We make our own happiness
and in doing so make others hap.
py.
Whenever young women begin
trying to fit themselves for wives
then new social era will begin to
dawn. There will be more happy
homes, less poverty, fewer divorces,
anda better moral atmosphere. There
is great deal of room Cor men TO
improve in the same line. Compar.
a'ively few of them have definite
ideas in regard to the home life they
expect to live. If they do picture
such thing, they follow the out.
lines traced by some sentimental
novelist. IL is an impossible Sort Of
place, in which he installs an an.
gel. Nectar takes the place Of cof-
fee, and the bread plate is filed With
lotus.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-24

Lexington Division trains run by Central
time. Main Line trains east of Huntington
run by Eastern time. which In one hour fas-
ter than Central time.
No. 4. daily from Louisville, Cincinnati
and Lexington 10 Washington and the East
and to Richmond and Old Point Daily e1-
cept Sunday from Richmond TO Old Point
Solid train and Pullmau's finest Buffet sleep
No. 2, daily except Sunday. The Saturday
train runs only as FAR as Clifton Forge. Daily
except Sunday between Clifton Forge and
Old Point.
No. ., daily except Sunday To Washington
Leave Washington daily Pullman PaTlor
cars New York to Washington New Pull
man Buffet Sleeping cars Washington 10
Louisville and Cincinnati aud From White
Sulphur To ~. Louis.
Sleeping cars To Washington Pullman Sleep
White Sui phur To Lexington.
Fos. S and q. daily except Sunday. Through
Pullman service between Balt more, Rich
mond, Old Point and white sulphur. No. 6
daily from Ashland to Clifton Forge.
Old Dominion Steamers leave Norfolk ON
Monday, Tuesday, We'd esday. Thursday md
Saturday on arrival train 90 p m; arrive In
New York next day afternoon
For rates Tickets, baggage Checks, apply
TO any once OF &. a D. R'y; or Depot or Tick
et once OF connecting lines.
w, G. WICKHAM,
Receiver.
III. w. FULLER,
0enT Psss'r Ast.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-24
A scene in the sanctum.

Boy Ito editor)-"There's man
outside what wants to know who
wrote that article on Jim Boggs
who disappeared last week"
Editor--"Go back and tell him
you wrote it,"
Boy (returning)--"That's nice
man, boss"
Editor-"What did he say when
you told himi"
Boy-"IIe said that was the best
piece we've had in the paper in
year, and he gave me a $40 bill"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-24
CEREDO, WAYNE CO., w. VA FRIDAY, AUGUST24 1885, :
The Red Bandana.
IAir; Hold the Fortl

tAir: Hold the Fort.l
Ho, ye voters, see the symbols
Waving in the sky;
Reinforcemcnts now arc coming
Victory is nigh!
Look not on the old bandana,
When it's colored red:
But support our Nations banner.
1t is far ahead.
See the molly crowd advancing,
Grover leading on!
Mighty men their ranks deserving,
All their hopes are gone.
Look not on the old bardana
When it's painted red:
'Tis the symbol of oppression,
Raise the Flag intcad.
See our glorious banner waving,
Hear our speakers voice!
In our leaders name we'lltriumph,
Then We'll all rejoice.
Look not on the old bandana
Which is colored red;
'Tis the symbol Of secession,
Kaisc the Flag instead.
Thousands have deserted Grover
And his hungry crew;
Always longing for an office,
Nothing else will do.
Look not on the old bandana
When it's colorcd red;
But admire our Nations banner,
Thurman's rag well she'd.
Growers broken every promise,
Made all matters worse;
Wen reduce that awful surplus
From his frame and purse.
Look not on the old bandana
When it's colored red;
Bless and cheer our Nations ban.
ncr,
1t is far ahead.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-24
Frank Lcslie.s SUNDAY Mognz,n.

For September Concludes
George Macdonald's beautiful story.
The Elect Lady" and gives two
more chapters of the new story.
"Gcnevievc; Or, The Children Of
Port Royal" begun in the August
number. IL contains also a short
story by Florence Il. Hallowcll.
entitled "a Little Filtration" with
very excellent moral. "Pcrils and
Heroes of the Melanesian Missions. ~
by Emma Raymond Pitman. is
a profusely illustrated and enter.
tanning missionary article; and "Psul
Searron," by Henry Van Laun.
is an instructive study Of that de.
formed genius who was the husband
OF Madame de Maintcnon. A very
curious article by the Rev. William
Burnet Is entitled The Legend OF
Elhanan; Or, How the Rabbits Son
Became a Pope" and "Some Facts
about Chill" gives much instruc.
ton, both in text and pieture, about
the greatest of South American re.
publics. DIR. Talmage's sermon is
Songs in the Night" and edi,o.
rally he comments on "War against
Newspaper" "rhc Power of
Prayer, ""Good Examples" and THE
Best of Friends The departments
are well kept up, and poems and
shorter articles are entertaining and
useful. IL is good Summer mum.
Der.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-24
HOME.

A man can build mansion,
And furnish il throughout;
A man can build palace,
With lofty walls and stout;
A man can build temple,
With a high and spacious dome;
But no man in the world can build
That precious thing called Home
So It's happy faculty
OF women far and wide
10 turn cot or palace
Into something else beside.
Where brothers, sons and husbands
tired,
With willing footsteps come
A place of rest, where love abounds
A perfect kingdom, Home.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-24

0goUQ V Rewarded are those who read this
HIEHI,y and then act. they will ind honor
N&686 able employment that will not
take them from their homes and
famiiics The prents are large and sure for
every industrious person; many have made
aud are now making several hundred dollars
n month. IL In easy for any one tn make IS
and upwards per day. who IL willing To work.
Either sex young or old; capital not needed:
We start YOU Everything new. No special
ABILITY required; You, reader, can do IL a.
well ss any one. Write to MS at once for full
particulars, which we mail free. Address
sTIssos d Co. Portland. Maine. sDiy
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-24

Gubbins, in one Of the rare mo.
ments he devotes TO the cultivation
of his intellect, was reading aloud
from work on natural history.
"Thc camel is an animal that can
work a week without drinking"
And !" remarked Gubbins,
commenting on the text, al am an
animal that can drink a week with.
out orking."-./udqo.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-24

Stranger-"My friend, don't you
believe in that grand old maxim that
Honesty is the bes, poIiey'i"
Citizen-"Well, | didn't use to.
sir; but now that have sccumula.
ted snug fortune and retired from
business, I'm beginning to think
there's something in il. An honest
man, stranger, is a very noble work
indeed -
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-24
"Msw, how | perspire -

Nav, how | perspire"
Dear me, Clara, don't let me
hear you use that vulgar expression
again"
do you want me to 'swea,r"
mo, you wrecthed vulgarian; you
must say you arc 'bedcwcd with
heat The first thing you know
people will say we have no style
about us. - Iepas Siftings.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-24

u am on my way home. doctor, .
said a citizen, who was after some
free advice, "and I'm tired and worn
out. What ought ] to takei" Take
cab replied the intelligent ply.
sician.-Nelo YOrk Sun.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-24

A bachelor, who particularly
hated literary women, asked an au-
thoress II she could throw any light
on kissing. II could" said she.
looking archly at him, "but / think
it's better in the dark
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-24
Mates or .fAAversa.a.x.

ioeais rcr line. .....-.-...... G
10 regular advertisers. s............... ..-....
Regular advertisements. OF moro than hall
Ii column. quarterly In advance.
Transient advertise ments In advance.
The Advance II tho medium throagl
vhiss Advertisers oan reach the PEE
|,h Of Wayne County.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-24

II Muck-a pee wah- ken-gsh. the
Indian who has just been granted a
pension. bad not been successful in
his application, he could have made
living by renting his name 70 be
used as barbed wire fence. - VIZ.
minQkOn Nelrg
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-24

"Are you lost, my little fellow -
asked e young gentleman ofa four
year-old, one day, in Rochester.
"No," he sobbed in reply, "b. but
m-my mother is.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-24

II we could read lie secret histo.
~ Of our enemies we should fad in
each mans life sorrow and suffer.
ing enough 20 disarm all hostility.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-24

Minister Ito Bertic)-"I hope,
Bertie, you don't go to the lake fish.
ing with your father OH Sunday"
"No, SIR"
"l'm glad to hear you say that,
my boy"
mo, the best fishing is down at
Burke's creek. That's where ! go"
-Judge.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-24

| An Kinds OF Job Printing done win ues>
ssu sad dispatoA. aud st prices - low ~ o. n
y aao dcd.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-24

As they were about to hang an
Irishman in London, one Of his
friends, who had come to witness
the ceremony cried.
81 always told you you would
come TO thisr
"And you have always lied. I
have not come--I was brought"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-24

The talent Of success Is doing
what you can DO well. and doing
well whatever you do without
thought Of fame If IL comes az alt
Il viii come because Il is deserved.
not because It is sought after
LOH0feliOlc.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-24

Bridget, has Johnnie come home
from school, yet''
"Yis, sorr."
Have you seen himi"
emo, sorr"
Then how do you know he's
homer"
Cause the cats hiding under
the stove"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-24
Chicago Ahead.

Detroit Free Press.
Ii was an old chestnut roasted
over on new pan. There were
only six or eight OF us in the parlor
car, and it was plain to us that the
lady from Chicago and the lady
from Boston had hostile feelings to
wards each other / suppose it was
because the lady from Chicago had
the largest diamond ear. rings, or
because the lady from Boston had
the most fashionable hat. BY and
by the Boston lady leaned over and
politely inquired:
"Are you from the Wcst?"
"Yes'm-Chicago."
"ChicagoS ChicagoI Seems Ia
me ] have heard the name"
"And are you from the East;"
queried Chicago.
"Yes'm-Boston."
Chicago reflected a moment as n
to refresh her memory, and then
rang the bell for the porter. When
he came she slowly said.
"Po-tah, ask the conduc .tah if he
has a map | want to find a place
called Bawstonw
And by a nom partisan vote OF
four to two it was decided that Chi
cago was one ahead.
''Is the editor ini' asked a gran.
ger, as he peered cautiously through
the door of the sanclum.
"Yes, sir" responded the man at
the desk
kin you tell me where | kin sec
himl"
81 am the editor"
&c way"
Certainly. Is there anything !
can DO for your
You don't mean to say that
you're the editorF'
Yes, sir"
"Well, | bc darned. You don't
look any different from anybody
else"-Merchant Traueler.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-24

In drilling glass, stick a piece of
stiff clay or putty on the part where
you wish 90 make the hole. Make
a hole, reaching to the glass, Of
course. Into this hole pour little
molten lead, when, unless it Is very
thick glass, the piece will immedi.
atcly drop out TradesmaH.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-24
The Ceredo Advance.
,.,u bllesn paper published every Friday
II. MCDOugal,
csREDo. W. VA


A., cory. one year ~ 90. n paid at the nms
,.ws 10 entered in subscription books
.n.r u days. sI.ss per ycar wil be sharg &C
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-24
The Garden of Eden

A dispatch from Versailles, Ky,
dated Aug. lth, says: 'Dr. Camp.
bell, who has been delivering leet.
ures on his different theories in a
tent at this place for several days,
claims to have located the Garden
Of Eden in the United States. lie
says that the city Of St. Louis Is
erected on the site Of the garden
and that the Mississippi is none
other than the Euphrates river. lie
calls OF the Bible TO prove ali his
statements, and says that within two
months he will have all the world
agOg on the subject"
Mary-"Don't you dislike 10 have
man talk shop when he comes tc
see YOU"
Jennie-"Indced / do who,
been talking shop to your"
"Oh, my young man. He's 4
street car conductor, you know. and
nearly every time he comes 10 sec
me he gets OF his shop talk.
What does he sayS"
"Sit closer, pleaser- Bwlin0ton
Free Press.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-08-24
III. w. FULLER,
Gcn1 Pass'r Agt

Through Tickets and baggage Checked 10
All point,
VI Robinson, Gent Pas. Agent,
Parkersburg, ". Va.
W. H. Osborn, Southern Trav. AgT,
pomeruy, Ohio.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1888-07-05

our workingmen need, and with benefit
to them and all our people, by cheapen-
ing their means of subsistence and ill.,
creasipg the measure If their comforts.
president Cleveland's Message, Dec.
6, 1887.
The Democratic party of the United
Strtes in National Convention assem-.
bled renewS the pledge of its fidelity to
Democratic faith, aud reuf1irms tile
platform adopted Ey its representa- iyes
in the Convention of 1884, and indorses
the views expressed ny President Cleve.
land III his last earnest message to Con-
gress as the correct interprc tation of
TINT platform upon the question of tar.
iff reduction.
Our established domestic industries
and enterprises should not, and need
not, be endangered by the reduction
and correction of the burdens of taxa.
tlcn. On tue contrary, fur and care.
full revision of ou1 tax laws, with due al.
>lowance for the difference between the
wages Of American and foreign labor,
must promote and encourage every
branch of such industries and epterpris.
es, and by giving them assurances Of an
extended market and steady and con.
tinuous operation. ..-.. ..,..
While carefully guarding the Interests
of the people and remaining true to the
principles of justice and equity, it has
paid out more for pensions and houn.
ties to the soldiers and Sailors of the
Republic than was ever paid tefore dur.
ing an equal eriod.-[National D, mo.
cratic Platform, 1888. "