The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1888-01-21
MOST NOBLE MARQUIS.
AN ENGLISH kOeLEMAk VISITING
HIS IRISH ESTATE.

--~'~~~-
bling . Guest-servants and syoophants.
surlinsss and Ill Brseding-Asleep At
the breakfast Table.
One OF the most remarkable sights l ever
witnessed was n most noble marquis at break
fast in a Dublin hotel The nobleman had
run over from England 10 attend to some
suits and evictions on one OF his Irish estates.
The estate in question extended over thirty
miles of good farm land. landlord here is
a landlord, indeed This particular noble
man had achieved great prominence during
his stay by the singular and persistent fad
that he displayed for soiled linen. The Irish
press exceeded itself in describing the shirt of
the most nobe-as he was invariably styled
marquis.
He came into the coffee room one morning
with rather an irresolute step and an eye
that wavered behind his single glass His
attire was shabby and his shirt all that it
was held up to be. He was about As, and
decidedly peevish None of his travelling
companions had shown up, and the marquis
stood warming pair of carelessly cared for
hands at the fire till waiter approached
with deferential bow and whispered:
Perhaps your lordship would like to sit
down.
"Demmit"
"Yes, sir" said the waiter, sympathetic
ally; it was apparent that his lordship meant
that he was cold and did not relish any inter-
ruption of his reverie by the fire. So the
waiter laid table for four, and after a time
the most noble marquis sank into one of the
chairs and fell to examining his finger nails.
He shook his head dolorously when tho in
spection was completed and was evidently
cycling n neighboring fork, when noisy
little Frenchman hustled in, and, rubbing his
hands briskly, cried:
Good morning, good morning, m lawd.
How is it you find yourself this morningi
Good! Eht Ver' cold though-good morn
ing"
SNUBBING A GUEST.
He held his hand out to be shaken but the
marquis pretended not to see it. The French
man then pushed the hand almost under the
marquis nose. The nobleman closed his eyes
and yawned prodigiously. Then the foreigner
twiddled his fingers with incredible nervous
rapidity, while the marquis glared at them
stupidity. never saw anything so grotesque
even III farce comedy on the stage. The whole
room was now in state Of agonized srls-
pense; walters stood still and guests sat with
forks poised in the air. At last the noble
marquis lifted his left hand and laid one
finger across the twiddling fingers of his
guest 1t was more of an insult than his pre-
vious action The other squeezed the finger
rapturously, and then a tall and fine looking
man of 60, who is a member of parliament,
strobe in He, too, walked directly up to the
nd ha1l 10 b,r h.
tended his left hand, and, touching the out
stretched palm, withdrew it again. Directly
behind the late conner was the fourth men,
Der of the party, tall and handsome captain
of dragons.
"Haw," he said, 'maw'n."
The marquis again put out his left snap
pishly, and after the dragoon had shaken
hands with all the others he too sank into his
chair The nobleman Is travelling here under
one Of his minor titles of Lord Merries,
| though every one knows perfectly well who
he is All Englishmen have hidden longing
to travel under strange names in Ireland.
All the marquis friends and servants adj
dressed him with scrupulous care by his
assumed title
| Presently two of the liveried servants of
the marquis hurried in with the breakfast.
The three guests waited until the host was
served and we'll under way before they
touched their food. Then they began to talk.
1t was an interesting pantomime. Every
time a joke was made the eyes Of all three
men looked sidewise at the marquis, II he
grinned, there was a roar Of delight. II he
didn't, there was dead silence.
THE NoBLEMAN's FOOT GEAR.
= ,,n<; ho bod dp;e hoJ
his chop, and then he broke into story Of the
member of parliament with:
"I-ah-wear low shoes now al-to-gethaw.
"Do you, indeed, my lordr gushed the M.
p, dropping his story at once and looking
with great eagerness Under the table at the
nobleman's feet,
Delightful" said the Frenchman, rad
antly.
"Devilish good thing to do" bawled the
dragon heartily, also looking under the
table
Because continued the great landed pro
pretor, they ventilate the feet
Upon this perfect camor of approval
broke out among the guests, and they al
leaned over and admired the low shoes Of
the nobleman' to an extent that would have
been silly if it had not been sickening. Tit
marquis soon lost interest in the subject, ant
his guests branched off again. Occasionally
they addressed him pointedly, but he nevel
looked at and seldom answered them HI
was, in fact, as surly and ill-bred snob rs
ever saw. Finally he woke up from his ap
parent stupor again and said to his persona
attendant:
Watkins, more bany and some OLE
cheese"
"Would your lordship like gorgonzola"
as that the rotten kinda"
The man bowed.
Bring Inc some," said the marqui
shortly, II like the ah--cheese that can wall
alone"
The outburst of merriment at this wa
overwhelming, and the three sycophant
talked cheese till the marquis revealed tn
fact that he had lost interest in the subjec
by going heavily to sleep in his chair
wizened, shrunken, untidy, slovenly, snarl
ing looking little person with weak chin,
parchment skin, and protruding, yellowis
teeth. The others had finished their break
fast, but they would not move till the maj
quis awoke. 1t grew late and still the hos
sumbered on. Finally the little Frenchma
4 al, l.. m