San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1888-01-13
ALL SORTS.

Belva Lock wood has written some
thing about My Efforts to Get to the
Bar" They must have 3 Sunday clos
ing law in force where Belva lives.
"You don't mean to say that you I'M
derstand French. Tommy?" "Oh, yes,I
do, for when ma and pa speak French at
tea, know Pm to have a powder"
Visitor-"Don't you miss your little
(whose nephew died the week before)-
"Yes. miss him very much. but 1 like
to be the uncle Of an sngel."-Life.
Paradise Lost" says recent writer
Twas sold for song" The man who
bought 1t for a song must have consid-
cred himself sold when he tried to sing It,
1t Is mistake to think Volapuk Is q
new language. The brakemen on pas
senger trains In the country have used II
for years to call out the names Of sta
tiOns.-Peoria Transcript.
look outr' he exclaimed. suddenly.
There's Ice under that snow?" Yes. ,
said she, as he restored her tenderly to
the perpendicular, II tumbled to it,
Someryille Journal.
~ cannot say yes, Walter. shall al.
ways be q sig" isis to me! No, you
won't" "Yes, Walter, your brother
Charles proposed to me last night, and
accepted him."-l.ife.
Countess (arises and finds her pet dog
dead -"Heavens! how foolish 1 was to
20 to bed rOuged. Fido evidently kissed
me during my sleep, and has ignobly
perlshed. It'd Bits.
Cadet (vaingloriously)-"I'm afraid
we fighting men are too susceptible, Miss
BrentOn." Miss Brenton-"Yes; how
Gwfully susceptible Mr.. Smith was to
Mr.. Kilrain, wasn't he?"
Countryman lin Bowery picture gall
lery)-"The COWS are all right, an the
trees look kinder material, but the river
there behind 'em is painted mighty
poor" Dealer-"If You are up in art at
all, my friend. you will know 1t is i'm
possible to make water and Oil mix
we'll"
Mr.. Rocksway Beach -"Gweat heav-
ems. Hoffman! What are you gswing to
do?" Mr.. Hoffman House-"It's all
to lunch today, and | cawn't find out
whether he's to wear his pearl pin on
the right or left side OF his owavat.
Good-by p'-Puck.
First Citizen-"I see that there is O
Eou unS Out just dtOuhu TIC COTueT lTOul
your house." Second Citizen (alarmed)
WHAT q red flag?" First Citizen
Eyes; q case OF smallpox, | hear"
Second Citizen (relieved) -"Oh, small-
pox. My wife has just got back from the
country, and 1 was afraid 1t might be an
auction. THE Epoch.
"All Ia over between us, Mr.. Samp-
son." she said, oOldly. The presents you
have given me will bs returned to-mOr-
row." He stood there proudly, but his
face was ashen. Everything shall be
returned" she went on, with a queenly
sweep Of her rounded arm, with the ex-
oeption, Of course, Of the caramels and
ice cream" And thus they parted
New \ Ork Sun.
Mrs. Kerless -"You seem greatly
changed and improved since your return
from Europe, Mr.. Thompson" Mr..
ThOmpson-"Oh, vastly, assure you.
Why, I'm different man altogether"
Mrs. K.-"Indeed! How pleasant that
must be for Mrs. Thompson. "-Boston
Beacon.
swell, does your husband still drink"
"Yes, mother, and it Ia worrying the life
out Of me-" did you try the plan OF
breaking him OF the habit that 1 sug-
gested to you?" "Yes." "DId you put
whisky in his coffee?" eyes" what
did he ssy?" "He said | was the only
woman he had seen since his mother
died who knew how to make flee as 1t
should be made."-Omaha World.
Very Tiresome: Yes, sir" said Mr..
Hsrdup, "l'm all worn out; haven't had
q square nights rest In two weeks"
weeks "What's the matter? Aren't
you well?" ''Oh, yes, I'm we'll enough;
but this skating into the house after the
lardlsdy's gone to bed, and skating
down and out before she's up In the
morning, Is terribly wearing on man.
l can't stand 1t much longer. guess I'll
hau 10