Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1888-02-18
PERFECT POSTAL FACILITIES
for the Mail-Thc Lone Postal Card
and Its Owner.

and Its Owner.
Arkansas Traveller: Scene. Mississippi
p%ostoflice. Postmaster and several
friends sitting on a bench in front Of the
house Postmaster (yawning)-Wonder
why that boy don't come on with the
mail? Ever sens he snapped off his sor-
rel boss fur that old lay the mali has
been late.
RUDE Fostcr-It looks to me like a fe--
Ter that rides the mail oughtcntcr be al
lowed to swap bosses without the say-so
Nv the Cover ment.
Lias Brown-Yas, but, RUDE, a Teller
jest nachully an 'coldin' to the conster-
tuition has a wright TO swap his own
property. Amt he? appealing to the
postmaster).
u. NJ. with a slight frown, indicating
that he is examining the tablets of his
mind)-He's got the privilege under the
new routine, but accordin' TO the Monroe
doctrine the right TO put in a word Nv
advice here an there is reserved by lhc
government. In the time Nv the Monroe
doctrine the COVER ment waz much more
Reerful Nv the rights Nv people than it
now pears 10 be the case. Then the
officials said that if folks wuz a-settin'
round waitin' for thcr mail, Wv, they
oughtcr have it, an that the mail rider
oughtcner swap off his nag an run the
risk Nv gittin' "A slower boss.
Rube-Letters is letters these days, an
ii jest nachully makes IA nan mad to be
kept outcn his mail. | came out here
yistidy eXpectin' Nv a letter, but the mail
didn't come.
Lias-Nho air you cXpectln' u letter
frum?
Rube-Wall. don't know in purticu
Ter, but it's about time ! wuz gcttin'
one.
Lias-How long has it been sense you
got one.
Rubc-Long last spring sometime.
Lias-Who writ to you then?
Rubc-Oh, it wuz "a fine letter, an
don't you furgit it. 1t had a lot NV, yal-
Ter an red an blue papersinit, all printed
cZ nice Ell you please, an it told all about
diirunt seeds, an one Nv the papers-the
yai!er one, | b'lcve-h had the pictur Nv a
big boss apple on it; an on the outside
Nv the letter thar wuZ my name wrote
just cz putty Ell anything you ever seed.
| tried TO keep it in good order, but the
ncighbors KEEP on "A comm in an a
hanlin' it till it wuZ wore almost boda-
tiously ont. If | could jist git another
SIGH a one | think I'd take better kcrc nv
IL Ain't that thn pnail ri,lnpD iitunrinr
up and shading his eyes with his hand. }
us, an begins to whip up his boss. He's
a caution, an cf he don't look sharp III
tell the government how he carries ON, an
that will settle him.
boy dashes up and throws n limp mail
bag to the postmaster, who catches it as
if as if it were of great worth, and goes
into the house closely followed by his
friends.
Rube-Uulock her an let us have the
innards.
fetal duties rs fast as the law dictates.
"Opens the bag, holds it up and shakes it.
A postal card falls on the counter. The
men make a grab for it,
II. M.-Uold on, boys, hold on. The
SbNtl Iltlll vi L w dlldllb III HltI NNlllll~
mage. Hans off, | tell you. Now let
me see who it's fur reads, after much
difficulty, J. NJ. Bcasley.
Lias-Let's see whut it says on the
other side.
p. Mo, wen put it right up here
for the present. Anybody know him?
CThcy all answer no.
p. M.-Wall, we mout en- well read it.
\ -, ,n t. c-,,, 49, -. Ia~ ,,I-,
that much out.
Rube-Wonder whut anyboLv LIZ Gcor-
gia wants to be writin' way here fur.
Whut else hoes it say?
y. M.-lIanged ef | know.
They tried Intellectually to spell out the
Words
Lias-Tdlikc mighty to jest know
what that is.
Rube-Mc, too, Pete, as the Teller says.
=. NJ las, ain't yorc wife "A putty
good reader?
Lias-One Of the finest in the land.
u. M.-Wall, | tell you wat YOU do,
You take this ycre kyard home and get
her to read it and fetch it back early in
the mGwnin'
Lias-IN do it; gimme me.
How was it? Tell me.
i. M.-Dc SIlOTc an ltltn II pdtk carry
an be shore an have her read it off till
you ken reckolleCk it.
Lias-Podncr you ken pore 'pendcnce
on me. Boys, eff any Nv you airgpin' out
my way you ken stop an hear this yerc
dockymcnt read Off. Come on, all hans.
(All but the postmas'e r accompany him.
Shortly after they leave n stranger comes
and asks if there is any mail for j. NJ.
Beasley.)
+. Mo, sir, but there mout be to-
morrcr.
Stranger-I expected some sort ofword
to reach me here today.
+. M.-Sorry to say that it didn't
come.
Lige. Rube and the other men rcappcar.
Postmaster begins To wink.
Lige-Say; it's all right. an as clear as
a bell, Nath thar made ii ont. He
y. M-Lige, oh, Lige." DO YOU reco-
leCk that old coon dog
Lias-IICre : The kyard.
ct fails on the floor. address up.
Stranger seeing the address, takes up the
card and turns to the pos ister.) What
do you mean
p. M.-Ligy, oh Ligy, where did you
n "