The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1888-09-12
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
bows sphere-A baseball.

HUMOR OF THE DAY.
A boys sphere-A baseball.
A summer resort-The drug store.
Candid people seldom give away taffy.
The pilot of a ship ought to wear
helm ct.
All the wards of latch-key should be
home-wards.
A police miss apprehension-Arresting
the wrong girl
Extraction is an out-and out remedy
for the toothache.
The spider is happiest when his life is
hanging by a thread.
The Car received King William in his
every day boiler-iron shirt.
Boston inebriates never see snakes.
They have ophidian hallucinations.
The man who gets left doesn't believe
that "Whatever is, is right. "-Life.
There ought to be law passed that
railway restaurant keepers shall date
their apple pies.
We consider this business of making
fun of women who catch sight OF
mouse holler mockery.
1t is perfectly proper to carve out your
own fortune, but you should not chisel
other people in doing it.
'Is you pa building a cottage on the
shore" "No; | heard him tell ma he
would have to build it on tick"
1t is a curious thing that on the rail-
roads it is the freight rather than the
steam that makes the cargo.-Bazar.
Women are pleased when likened to
birds, but not to all kinds of birds. 1t
is dangerous to call woman an old
hen.
There is said to be an affinity between
the beasts of the field and the birds of
the air. 1t is we'll known that the play
full calf is fond of meadow lark.
Ye gods! would it not be funny
If we should ever see
The bark become visible on a dog,
And audible on a tree.
! Barber (purely from force of habit)-
"Have a hair cut, sir2" Bald headed
customer-"les; three or four of them
+ i guess I've got that many left. y
Judg'.
/ "Things That Never Die" is the title
Oi u uGW DOtH. anu ~ NOCo hOl
tion the chap who wants to know if it
is hot enough for you, either. -Pitts,urg
CHrOaicie.
The Cause. .-GazZam- Hello, Cumso,
you look entirely tagged out. What's
the matterl" Cumso-"Oh, nothing A
weeks rest will set me up. Just back
from my ation."-Time.
Whether tall men or short men are best. r.
Or bold or modest and shy men,
/ can't say; but this protest:
All the fair sex are III favor or Hymen.
-Omahd Bee.
We notice from perusal of the papers
that "lhe fiat has gone forth" this year.
We are glad of this. 1t would be an
awfully lone ONE year in which the fiat
did not go forthing. -B3ston Transcript.
The busy housewife now gets up
And jams her black raspberries,
And iellies all her currants red,
And cans red sour cherries.
-DansUiIe Breeze.
City Young Lady Ito farmer)-"What
kind Of tree is that!" Farmer-"That
is a beech tree" Chow singularl ]
didn't suppose beech trees grew any.
where except at the seaside. "-T'eras
SVtings
Feline Sagacity "Bridget, has John
ME come home from school yet2" "Yis,
sorr." "IIaye you seen him" "No,
sorr." "Then how do you know he's
homer "'Cause the cats hidin' under
the stove, sorr. - Time.
She (at a garden party" Isn't that
young Professor Brainfog coming this
way, Mr.. De Sappy:" He-"Ya'as, Miss
Maude. Shall present him" She
"Oh, dear no. think young men with
brains, Mr.. Ie Sappy, are such bore"
-EP0ch.
A young Englishmau is said to have
written TO his fond uncle the following
encouraging letter: "Dear Uncle You
have often said that you could die happy
if | could pass the final examination Tor
the Bar successfully. You can die
happy. Your dutiful nephew"
Iaimit, dear Charles, told Miss Jones
really did not like you
Perhaps the meaning of my words
Doth not yet fully strike you.
So hear me swear 10y all the stars
A twinkling now above you,
The reason why like you not
Is this: because love you.
-Haper's Basar.
An English journalist, on reading in
tie paper Of the defeat of the Cleveland
nine hy the Cincinnati boys, stopped
short at the headline: cleveland Beaten
by the Reds and cabled home an
account of an "Atrocious assault ON the
President of the United States by band
Of hostile Indians that nlest the District
of Columbia. YOA Sun.
Tramp-"I know it, ma'am; I'm
always out Of work, but it's my luck. y
Womau-"How is that, poor man %
Tramp-'Its this way, ma'am. In the
winter feel like moving lawns, and in
the summer | just actually crave to
shovel snow, and nature continually
balks me. Have You such thing as a
pie in the house. '-HUps,'s Basav.
Youth-"Tye got some poetry here I'd
like TO have you look over Editor
eyes, sir Have You got your license
with you" Youth My license -
Editor -'Nes; your poetic license.