davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-10
Great Magnetic Power.

A Duluth newspaper, telling of the power
of the magnetic iron ore of that vicinity,
says that the miners have to wear moccasins,
because the ore draws all the tacks from
their boots; that houses near the mines have
to be built with wooden pins or bolts, because
the iron draws the nails; that wild duck
that had inadvertently swallowed a few hair
pins was stopped in its fight over the mines,
drawn earthward, and made prisoner, and
that persons with too much iron in their
blood are SO magnetized that they sleep in a
trance.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-10
r1nu OF q rsoOn.

First Easterner-I guess you remember
me. We met in Los Angeles.
Second Easterner-I remember you per-
Iectly. You are the good angel who sold me
q corner lot on which made small fortune.
Asold that lot for 100000. You know only
Laid you $50, 900 for it.
YES, and as you did SO well, I don't mind
confessing that nearly all that $4,000 was
clear profit. bought that lot for couple
OF hundred dollars. By the way, what
became of the man you sold to?'
Inc last l heard of him he was in the
AIMS house. - Omaha World.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-10
They Don't Grow There.

Chauncey Depew told this experience in a
recent speech: II was up in Scotland this
summer, where they understand joke more
easily than anywhere in the world, and was
tired out travelling and sightseeing, and said
to my Scotch guide: i must find a soft
stone somewhere to sit down on He said:
MY friend, there are no soft stones in Scot
land.'n
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-10
Getting Late.

"Clara," he said, in low, sweet, kiss me
tone of voice, "do you see yon twinkling
star!"
II see plenty of stars" replied the tired
girl, who was anxious to get to bed, "but
don't observe anything particularly .yon'
about them. Don't be foolish, Georgia.
New York Sun.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-10
Bound to Have 1t.

Patron GmpatientD waiter bring
me half spring chicken nicely broiled, in a
great hurry; have but five minutes to spare.
Waiter-Can't do it inside of twenty min
utes.
Patron (excitedly)-Never mind, must
have it at once if it takes an hour; hurry up
-Jndpe
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-10
Al Grandma Puf 1t.

Grandma Bagley Tin reminiscent mood
And there's Freddy Litewaite. Dear mel I
remember him when he was baby.
Bagley-You would hardly know him now.
He Is a complete Anglomaniac.
Grandma Bagley-Qew tell Well, a.
ways knew he was fool, but I'm sorry to
hear he is q maniac-Philadelph Call
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-10
Pronunciation of "Idaho. "

George Riebold, an Idaho pioneer and mine
owner, says that Joaquin Miller named the
territory 'Idaho," being pure Bannock
word, meaning "Gem of the Mountains"
Miller himself says the word should be pro-
nounced with the accent on the second sylla-
BILE, Idaho, the "a" having broad sound.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-10
Effect of the Climate.

"Who is this gentleman who registers
'M'sieur Danniele de Wyllsonnep" "That?'
said the clerk, looking over the register;
ooh, that is Dan Wilson, of Ohio. He has
been in Paris three months and just got home
last night" "And who is this, then, just be-
low him, who writes himself Daniel Wilson,
''That is the son-in-law Of the president OF
the republic of France "-Burdette in Brook.
lyn Eagle.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-10
He Was Discharged.

Reporter-Tve good item here this morn
ing. found a person who had been confined
to one room his entire life
City Editor-Good! Send it right up.
Who is its
Reporter-Why, a three days old baby
down at our house.-Judge
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-10
Discoupting the Old Sultan,s Death,

The young sultan Of Morocco is only 16
years old, and has about s15,OOO,0O0 in his
treasury. Unless he writes an American
comic opera and puts it on the road, he will
not be obliged to negotiate 6 per cent. loan
for year or two at least.-NorristowD
Herald
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-10
A Common Kind of PhilanthrODy.

A COMMON KIND OF PHIIahthrOpy'
Omaha Man-No wonder you have cod.
You should wear thicker clothing.
Eastern Youth-Can't afford it.
81 thought your employer was Mr.. Too
good, the noted philanthropist."
"Yes; my errand here is to engage noted
artist to paint memorial window to Di-
ogenes. ."-Omaha World.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-10
A Question of Discretion.

81 see they have set Schwab to making hash
in the penitentiary."
$50 understand"
"Don you think it is a mistake to let the
Anarchists into the secret of making any
more of these dangerous compoundsF'-Chi-
cago News
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-10
A Cold, Hard Fact.

His face is his fortune-an insurance
agent's.-Texas Siftings.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-10
Ice-thin. Boy-in.
Hacks-'leven. Boy-heaven.

The body of q boy drowned at Winchen-
don, Mass, was found through the use Of the
electric light, which was submerged IN the
water 1t may be possible to find dead boy
by using the electric light, but it would take
an illumination Of about 100000 candle
power to discover lad about five minutes
after he has left the house with the remark:
'I'm only goin' round the corner. Morris
town Herald.
A writer says: "There is always some
thing picturesque and striking about an old
mill" If the writer wants to see something
Striking he should witness modern mill"
between a couple of noted pugilists.
town Herald.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-10
Fears a RELAPSE.

Doctor-Did you say to your husband, Mrs.
Hendricks, that, if agreeable to him, would
send bill for services rendered during his re-
cent severe illness2
Mrs Hendricks-Yes, doctor; and he
thought you had better wait until he gets
little stronger.-Life.
Cramped Quarters.
Bobby Cooking at the new moon)-Ma, is
there really man in the moon!
Mother-That is popular superstition,
Bobby.
Bobby-Well, should think that living IN
. moon like that would make him bow
egged.-New York Sun.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-10
STRAY JOKES.

Scientists say that the savage has more
acute sense of smell than civilized people.
They have more material to practice on
The Epoch.
Nothing so wildly reminds US of the brew
ity of life as thirty day note.-Drift.
Some people are so sanguine in this world
that they think they can plant handful of
seed in snowdrift and gather carload of
Strawberries the day after the first thaw.-
Baltimore American.
Farmers Wife-Wil you be seated2
Tramp-With pleasure, ma'am. Your next
door neighbor's dog has just unseated me-
New Haven News.
Ice-thin. Boy-n
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-02-04
SOME OF JAYS SAMPLES.
Movements of Some of the Boys in
Blockade Times.

bIOckaO0 Times.
Drew, the Winona crockery man. was
seen holding down chair at the Grand
Central, WATERFOWL, during the late
block. He says Trade is all right, but
my. when will l get home?" Merrick.
who halls from Chicago and sells gro
ceries, was laid up week in Clark. He
asks why could it not have been Mime
apOlis? There is no place like home
during such storms.
Silver, with YAM. Griggs & HOwes,
had week in Arlington in which to
get better acquainted with the bows,
after loading them up with groceries.
ASK him how he likes travelling on a
snow-plow.
Stockings, after loading Volga down
with confectionery goods, was practic-
ing double shuttle in a pair of old
country W OGDEN shoes.
Jerry Palmer was laid up a week at
Lake Preston and again a week at
Huron. He says [ am going home.
Three towns in fifteen days is too slow
work for me.
Gayman says: ''What is the use of
gong out. Stay where you are; storms
can't last forever"
We are sorry to miss Elliott who sold
groceries from Watertown for two years.
We understand that he goes to Washing-
ton territory for grocery firm.
We also miss the smiling face of
Jimmy Moore. During his short stay
with us he made many friends.
And Compton, the irrepressible, gush-
ing Compton. He has been transferred
to the Northern Pacific. How we will
all miss him, and the girls, how we pity
them.
The many friends of genial George
Stoker will be pleased to hear that he is
prospecting in Watertown He is in COM
pany with Will Hardie, and they make
a good team. George says no flies roost
on us. "Shurer' JAY
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-02-04
HINTS FOR LETTER RIFLERS
A Stationer Tells How. a Sealed
Letter May Be Opened Without
Breaking the Seal

sit is more fashionable now than ever
to put seal OH the back of your letter."
said a stationer to reporter for the
Mail and Express recently. This Gus
tom died almost entirely out for time,
but is now being revived again. 1t fell
into diSuSe because it took SO much
time to seal letter. Now ladies are
sealing ali their letters with wax, and
they look very neat and pretty.
$50 properly seal letter you must
first heat the end of the wax, and then
with deft movement of the hand fix
the melted portion in neat circle upon
the envelope. Then the envelope should
be held over the taper until the wax is
partly melted again, so that proper
impression of the seal may be secured.
1t will not do to be in too much haste,
for then the beauty of the whole thing
will be spoiled, and if the wax is burned
it will be made very brittle. So you see
even a moderate correspondence re-
quireS good deal of time.n
''DoeS sealing a letter make it so
much safer from being improperly
Opened?"
sit is easy enough to open letter
sealed with wax if you have the proper
appliances. A very fine wire heated by
electricity will rake off bit of wax
without the slightest trouble and with
out hurting the seal, and when it is re-
turned no one will ever know the letter
has been opened. A wax seal, though,
will prove an effectual obstacle to any
ordinary busybOdy who thinks that
your mail needs Inspections
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-02-04
The Festive Cockroach.

Detroit Tribune.
Everything is in knowing how, you
know" remarked an observant fire.
Quenter of the city hall. eff everybody
knew as much about cockroaches as l
do the vermin would soon become eX-
tinct. They were the pest of my life
when was in the restaurant business
several years ago. There was nothing
that disturbed my peace of mind like
the sight of cOckrOach walking
leisurely across the table in plain view
of my customers. bought insect pow
der by the quart and tried every means
l could devise or hear of to get them
out of my house. but everything was a
dismal failure until finally an accident
happened which gave me the informa-
ton for which [ had been sQuandering
money uselessly. Zone night some one
happened to leave cake box
Misunderstanding open. Next morn
ing about a pint of cOckrOaches
were found in the box. They had been
able to climb the outer surface and get
inside, but the interior surface was too
smooth for them to scale and they were
cOrralled. Well, that put an idea in my
head. l went to work next evening and
steamed some cake SO that the insects
could smell it long distance and put it
in the box. Next morning l had about
a half peck of the vermin. I kept the
thing going for week and captured
every cOckrOach in the house. This is
something that cockroach-ridden peO-
pie should know about"
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-02-04
stolen my heart not many days ago, and

stolen my heart not many days ago, and
it is in safe keeping.
You are little too late, Parthenia, as
my charming Beatrice" is "a' the
world tae me-" and to be candid,
l dote on the ground she walks upon,
And the two bright eyes that shine;
Sure, l wouldn't give all the money in the
bank,
For the darling call mine,
But, Parthenia, you are brick, and
were it the fashion, as it used to be
among the FlOrentine gallants, would
invoke the aid of the gods to send you
some noble and chivalrous cavalier as a
sutton. But we live in the nineteenth
century, an age in which we have out
grown our belief in tabled deities: so,
in nineteenth century fashion, l can
only express wish that you may get
some precious fellow, lOvable, hand
some and good, as worse half, and that
you may have long life, in which you
can halve his joys, double his sorrows,
treble his expenses, quadruple his cares,
excite his affections, control his prop
erty and Out-maneuver him in every
thing; and may live to dance at the
wedding. SCOTTIE.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-02-04
SCOTTlE'S BUDGET.
A Breezy Lot of Gossip With an
AnecdOte.


AnecdOte.
read with much interest Ante Luz
GEMS Interpretation of the cut which
adorns the heading of our columns, and
must say that he seems to have grasped
the subject very thoroughly and handled
it in mastery style. His description
of the hotel clerk is not overdrawn. and
the history of our Israelitish cOnfrere
is matter of fact.
l also observe my unknown friends
compliment to my fellow countrymen,
which shall reply 10y relating a little
anecdote.
During the Crimean war piper in one
of the Highland regiments was taken
prisoner whilst leading his men up the
heights of Alma, and was at once
marched before the Russian general and
his brilliant staff.
He was Intercepted as to the numeri-
cal strength of the British army and
their allies. the state of their ammuni-
ton and the condition of the commits
sarriat, to all of which questions he an
swered with the shrewdness that Scotch
men are proverbial for.
n He Ias then ASKED to play on his
vance March," ETC., to which he good
naturally assented. Finally he was
asked to sound the Retreat" to which
he, with great scorn, replied: "She
was never learn that ane." Like Don
aid, part of my education, was never to
show the white feather.
A prominent wholesale merchant in
one of the Twin Cities asked one of his
travellers recently the following queS.
ton:
"Mr. -, observe from your ex-
pense account that you always charge
up so cents time for your meals out
your pilgrimage where the guardian
angel who presideS at the register
charges 25 cents a time Tor the Stuffing
pro ceSS?''
Eyes, sir; l do once in while strike,
such a Philistine, and while he charges
me 25 cents for adjoining his dining
room l charge you the other IS for the
risk run in eating the tackle, known
in the trade as hash, etc.,
d. B. Stewart, of Winona, is one of
the leading lights of Southern Dakota.
He carries a fine line of crOckery, which
he says his house imports direct from
the pOtteries in StaffOrdshire. He is as
good a salesman as he is vice president
dwell. never mind. have seen him
preside, and know he is competent,
anyhow.
A new evangelist has recently been
added to our ranks down here. His
name is D. McCurdy, representing Kel-
lOgg & johnson, st. Paul. Mac is
genial, wholesOuled fellow, has made
many friends in this, his first trip, and
the members of our enlightened ranks
wish him every success.
Charles Moore, selling boots and
shoes for Milwaukee house, was hold
ing forth on the merits of his goods in
WOOnsOcket Tuesday.
Has "YnOt'' definitely made up his
mind to discontinue his pleasant letters
to the GLOBE? Such an acquisition
ought not to fall out of the ranks.
Tonight saw fellow get off the
train at Sioux Falls who looked a pic
ture of woe. Busted" physically and
financially, almost worn out with the
| effects of a severe cold, and general
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-02-04
Hard TO Draw the Line.
Longman's Magazine.

LOngmdn S Magazine.
| do not know what sort of chancel-
lOr Andrew Lang would make, save that
l have firm conviction that whatever
he und eTtOOk to do he would do admi-
rably well. But there can be little uues-
ton that as writer of sparkling verse
Lord EldOn can hardly be placed upon
the same level with the brilliant Bor-
derer. Indeed, had we known no more
of Lord Eldon than by a poem we
should have esteemed him as little bet
ter than fool. But even so did Pitt
hold up his hands Reconsideration after
a talk with Wolfe, the hero of Quebec.
Even SO did secretary of state declare
that Nelson was the greatest fool he
ever talked with. You must take a
man upon his proper ground: you must
measure his strength where his strength
lies, The Duke of Wellington was not
an impulsive soul, who could get up
from the dinner table, draw his sword
and swagger about the room boasting
that he was to SurpaSS all the soldiers
of antiquity. as Wolfe did in Pitts pres
ence.
We wonder not that the minister held
up his hands on Wolfe'S departure, with
words to the effect, "Must we trust our
army to that idlOt?'' Yet the great duke,
long after Waterloo, paid large sum
to get back letter written by him on
the evening of the battle, which letter
he instantly burned, saying that when
he wrote it he was the greatest
ass in Europe. I fancy that, had we
seen the letter, we should in so far have
agreed with the great, but by no means
exemplary, duke. There is a streak of
the fool in the wisest men. 1t was very
apparent in Solomon. There is streak
of incapacity in the most capable man.
And it grows most conspicuous when he
strays beyond his proper measure.
What more graceful than swan in the
water? What more awkward than the
swan waddling on shore?
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-02-04
"a DRUMMER'S DREAM"

A little room in little hotel,
In a little country town:
On a little. bed with musty smell
a man was lying down.
A great big man with great big snore-
For he lay on his back you see
And peaceful look on his face he wore,
For sound asleep was he.
In his dreams what marvellous trips he made
What heaps Of stuff he sold!
And nobody failed and every one paid,
And his orders were good as gold.
He smiled and smothered a scornful laugh,
When his fellOw-drummers blowed
For he knew no other had sold the half
Of what his order-book showed.
He got his letter from home one day;
Dear Sir-weve no filter term
To use in your case than simply to say:
Henceforth you are one of the firm
And glorious change this made in his life
He now from the road withdrew
And really soon got to know his wife,
His son, and his daughters too.
But with thump-bang-whan -thump-
bang again
The boots had knocked at the door;
Its very near time for the 10 train.''
And the ''Drummers Dream was oer
EXCHANGE
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-02-04
. cs oNlI rs
Editor Paramount Herald
ANTE LUCEM.
A Pleasant Dig at Scottie---Laid
Up by the Blockade.

y fIeaSdnC Dlg at ScOJCle-"-La1u
Up by the Blockade.
Consistency, thou art a jewel. 1 know
not the author of the above trite saying,
but it would be grand good thing if
there was more of it in the general COM
position and makeup of mankind. Now
there is our good friend Scottie, we'll
built fellow as the world goes, but in
the writer's opinion somewhat wanting
in the factor CONSISTENCY
Some two weeks ago Scottie offered
himself as sacrifice upon the leap
year altar, and almost as readily the
presumably fair ''Parthenia" cOndi-
tionaliy offers her devotions at the
shrine of the doughty Scotchman. All
this was followed by the soft impeach-
ment that he. "ScOttie," was not in the
market. Far be it from any intention
of mine to make thruSts at any travel
ing man, but if such action does
not cap the climax as the most
inconsistent of all inconsistencies.
then / owe Scottie. an apology.
After a lay-off of several weeks the bur-
caused, no doubt, from the uncertainties
of travel. The indications now are that
old BOreaS has nearly spent his force for
the winter of 'SS, and hencefOrth we
can look forward with some assurance
of being able to go on time and reach
ing points of destination less usual in
cidents of a blockade. Tom Holmes,
editor in charge of the commercial trav-
eler's department., will soon leave for
the Pacific coast to accept. situa-
ton upon one of the San Francisco
dailies. We shall regret to part with
the genial gentleman, but recognizing
that where duty calls there one must
go, part with him, sending after our
we'll wishes for his success. The de-
partment will be cared for by another
mali, and the GLOBE will continue to
give us space and attention.
NTE IIIrCEM
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-02-04
A PLEASANT REUNION.
Two Veterans Who Had Not Seen
Each Other for Years.


Each Other for Years.
On the evening of Jan. 81 there
stopped at the Paramount house, Fair
mount, Oak, a tall, handsome gentle
man, and another gentleman of perhaps
forty years. 1t was few moments be-
fore supper, and the usual number OF
boarders were awaiting the announce
ment of supper. The conversation was
at this time upon the Custer massacre,
and had just drifted into general topics
when one of the gentlemen, G. w. Coe,
with the Minnesota Linseed Oil com
pany, of Minneapolis, happened to
mention the town of AnamOSa, 10. In
stantly the tall gentleman, George b.
Woods, travelling for z. II. Kelly &
Co., of st. Paul, pricked up his ears,
and glancing over toward the elder per-
son inquired if his name was Coe.
"Yes, SIR" responed the gentleman;
''and you are George Woods. L know
YOU"
81 think you should" chimed in Mr..
Woods; 1--WE soldiered it for
three years together" The two
men rose simultaneously, and
the hearty grip they gave each other
plainly told your correspondent that
they were happy to meet one another.
Inc announcement OIL supper Inter
rupted the conversation, but at the sup
per table the conversation between the
two drifted to camp incidents before
Vicksburg and other Southern points.
1t was glad meeting, as the gentlemen
had not seen one another for twenty
years. Both enlisted in Lime county,
Iowa, with Co. f, Twentieth Iowa vOlun-
teer infantry, in August, 1862, for three
years. Both are now climbing on
toward the turning point of life, and as
they related certain instances where
they had been together and talked over
the ''Old times" and pleasant recollec-
tons, their cOuntenanceS were lighted
up with that happy expression and fond
feeling akin to brothers. This incident
will be vouched for by either the gentle
men or by the writer.
F. j. SMITH,
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-02-04
Total cost of 51a mos. insurance sis. OO

Total cost of Isle mos. insurance -. .S15. 90
The emergency which has arisen in
two death losses in two weeks, Brother
Winters who persisted in the recent
storm and Brother Thirlwell. of st.
Paul. will probably necessitate the levy
ing of assessment No. 9, closing March
Is, but there will remain in the treasury
Sutiitlen funds from assessment No. s
to pay all sick benefits due and unpaid.
and one death loss; so that when we
have paid the emergency assessment,
thus providing for the remaining death
loss and for current sick benefit liabili-
ties for thirty days to come, our mem
berShlp for sixteen and One-half months
will have cost us S17,Or BLOB per month.
In no other insurance market can we
buy the same goods for as little money.
1t would be good plan for every mem
Der of the profession to cut out the
above statement and use it as ammuni-
ton to Quell mutiny, as a persuasive
power for new membership and a con-
Vlnclng argument to everybody that
our association is the best insur-
ance organization eXtant and is worthy
more active and generous support
than we have yet given it. No member
can afford to feel Indifferent to it's sue
cess since little earnest concentrated
work will run the membership to
point where the assessessments will be
decreased. l wish to call the attention
of Messrs. Stock dale, Nealy, Reynolds,
jim Jordan and others, on the Manitoba;
Ball, Beach, Beall and Jacquot, on the
Huron IL Dakota; Sam Bell and E. K.
Erwin way out West; Babcock. Aldrich.
WiSeman, Lunn and Cummings in the
South, to the fact that they are expected
to roundup lot OF new members. You
have remained in passive state long
enough, gentlemen: the association
needs your active support, and it should
be accorded with promptness and alac-
rity. ''ToM CoLLINs.''