The Pascagoula democrat-star., 1888-01-20
Ge 1emorraf-S Star
BILL NYE AND THE BARBER



Bill Nye in n. Y. World.
To-day i got shaved at barber
shop where begged the operator
to klll me aud pat me out Of my
misery.
| have been accustomed TO gen
tie care and ihoughffnlness at home
and nv barber handles me with the
utmost tenderness. | was, there
fore, poorly prepared 10 meet The
man who this morning filed my
soul with woe.
l know that ] have not deserved
this, for while others have berated
the poor barber and swofe about his
bad breath and never ending clat.
ter, aud his general harshuess,
have never said anything that was
not tiilel with child like trust aud
hearty good will toward him.
have called the attention OF the
public to the fact that sometimes
customers had bad breath aud were
restless asid mean, while being 0p
Grated on, and then when they are
all fixed mp nicely they pnt their
hats OH and light cigar and hold
mp their finger to the weary barber
and tell him that they will see him
more subsequently.
Now, however, | feel differently.
This barber no doubt had never
heard of me. He thought " as an
ordinary plug who didn't know any
thing about luxury.
| shall mark a copy of this paper
and send IL 10 him. Then while he
is reading it | will step mp behind
him with pick handle and Kill
him. want him TO be reading this
when kill him, because il will as
sist the coroner ia arriving at the
immediate cause of his death.
The first Whit | took of this mans
breath | knew that he was rum
maniac.
He had the Jim James in an adj
vance stage. Now, 1 don't Object
TO being shaved by Il barber who is
socially drunk, but when the mad
glitter OF the maniac is in his eve
and / can see that he will cut of
my bead and let 1t drop over the
back of the chair or choke me 10
death with a ldiher brush, it makes
me nervons and fidgety. He hOned
the raz0r on bis breath, in fact.
This man made up his mind 10
Kill Inc three times, aud some Que
came III just in time 10 save me.
Ills Chair WAS near tue window.
aud there WAS a hole in the bIind.
so that when he was shaving the of
side OF any face he would turn my
head over in snch i position that |
could look up into the middle of the
sun. Ny attention bad never been
called to the appearance of the
sun as it looks to the naked eye,
and | was surprised.
The more looked into the very
centre OF the great orb of day the
more | WAS filed With wonder at
the might and power that could ere
ate it. | began to pine for death
Immediately F; so that | could be far
away among The heavenly bodies,
aud in a land where no barber with
The delirinm tiiaUgles can ever en-
ter.
This barber held my head down
so that the sun could shine into my
darkened understanding, nntil |
feltthat my brain lIad melted and |
was floating around and smashing
about in my skull like warm butter.
HIS hand was very unsteady, too,
] lost faith in him on the start,
when he cut off mole under my
chin and threw it in The cuspidore. |
/ did not care especially for tue
mole, and did not need it mrcI, bur
At the same time ! bad not decided 1
10 take it off till the weather got
warmer. In tact bad worn It SO
long that | had become attached TO
it. This is why could nol restrain
my tears when the barber cut it of,
and then stepped back 10 the other
end of the room to sec bow | locked
without it.