davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

The fellow who asks how to know
4 bad egg must have lost two of his five
senses.-MarthG's Vineyard Herald.
When a washerwoman changes heI
place of residence one may ask her
''where she hangs out now" without
using slang.-E1.
1t has been averrcd that a lady
with diamond ring will scratch her
nose in given period four times a
often as any other woman.
The tramp never seeks vacancy.
He has a vacancy. 4 vacancy of hi.
own, and il takes about all his time to
keep it filled.-Pack.
-Stranger-"Is Mr.. Blinks imp
Hotel Clerk-"Yes, he's in his ROOM
Tell him Mr.. Schwiiferwitzenouter-
helm" Front. tell 126 a gentle
man from Cincinnati wishes to see
him" -OmGiG World.
Away with superstition! A Mich
igan girl has found 2,125 four-leai
clovers, and isn't married yet. Al
Omaha girl who found out how to make
pumpkin pie was married in three
months. Omaha World.
A great many men who insist upon
having their grocers send everything
they buy to their homes are perfectly
willing to carry home q large load
rather than inconveni ence the saloon
keepers. Nebraska State Journal.
How it all comes back to me,
murmured the poet sadly, as with prac.
ticed fingers he estimated the thickness
of the portly package of MSS. which
he had just taken from the post-ofiee.
Ell.
"A man who will spoil ffty-cent
pair of suspenders to hang himself
with when q whole clothes-line can be
bought for fifteen cents, can not expect
this economic generation to remember
his other virtues over Sunday.
-Gold-handled umbrellas are com
ing into fashion. The handle is so ar.
ranged that it can be taken OF. Thi:
is an Improvement on the old style
where the entire umbrella was taker
of. YonkerS Statesman.
Good morning. MIR. Hill What:
tue matter with your eye2" Mr.. Hill
20. one of those idiot editors put an il
my name instead of an i, and went VI
to have it out with him" Friend-''Wel
Gid YOU find him in his sanctum-sanc
torum?" Mr.. Hill-''Yes. did. and be
sides having an knocked out of m,
name, had an eye k1ocked out of m.
person. Bad set, those editors. De
.roh Free Press.
Miss Prime - philosophers dis
agree as to which period of life seem!
the longest to mankind. What is you
opinion. doctor?" Doctor (meditative
Ily)-Well. it varies. In women, TO
instance. the longest is generally be
tween twenty-nine and thirty. knoV
in my wife's case ten years elapsed be
tween her twenty-nin;h and thirtietI
birthday. "-JHd9e.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02
THE ARCTIC REGIONS.
Astonishing Skill Possessed by the Native
of the Frigid Zone.

Astonishing Skill Possessed by the Natives
of the Frigid Zone.
The natives of the frigid zone know.
too, how to set effective traps for deer,
wolves and other animals without the
aid of wood or white mems implements.
A deer trap, for instance, is made by
digging a hole in the deep snow and
covering it with snow blocks held in
position by resting upon each other.
For bait little lines of sailed water are
led to the center of the covering of the
pit. and following up one of these the
unsuspecting animal falls in and be-
comes an easy prey to the hunter.
A wolf-trap is made By coiling into
rs small space as possible slender
strips OF whalebone about foot in
length, and tying them with thread
made from sinew. Each coil is then
imbedded in a small chunk of meat
and thrown upon the snow. where it is
subsequently found by the wolf and
bolted without chewing. In little
while the frozen meat thaws, the sinew
is wet and slips the loosely made knots.
the whalebone straightenS and pierces
the stomach and intcStines, and the
animal dies in torture. In winter the
northern native knows how TO find the
'.blow-hole" in the ice fields, where
seal comes up to get a fresh supply of
air for his lungs. This ''blow-hole" is
very different in reality from that
which is usually pictured in the illus
trated stories of Arctic travel.
Generally they are represented as
irregular openings in the ice from two
to six feet in diameter. The fact is,
one unfamiliar with the habits and
haunts of these marine mammals would
pass directly over blow-hole in winter
or spring and not see it, as it is not
usually more than from half an inch to
an inch in diameter at the surface of
the ice. The native seal-hunters are
greatly assisted in these searches by
their dogs, whose keen noses scent the
odor of seal meat and guide thcir n,ss-
tors to places on the right and left of
the line of search that would otherwise
have escaped the notice OF even these
keen-eyed hunters. When found, the
location Is marked for future refer
ence, and at some subsequent time.
when meat is scarce in the snow-hut
that shelters the hunters household.
he repairs, with snow knife and spear,
to one ot the places previously marked.
and, building shelter or break-wind eff
snow-blocl1s, sits down to await the re-
turn Of the seal. Sometimes these
yigils are prolonged not for hours only,
but for days, at sitting.
In the spring. when the seal comes
out upon the ice to bask and doze in the
warm sunlight, the hunter approaches
him by lying down and advancing
cautiously, at the same time initiating
the motions of seal, keeping his feet
and legs, which he crosses at the
ankle. close together, so that they much
resemble the headquarters of a seal.
Indeed, when st distance. have fire.
tlquently found it difficult to tell which
twas the seal and which the man. 1t is
the early training of the northern
savages that has taught them to do all
this skillfully.-Cosnopoli!an.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02
ILLS or RACHELORHOOO.
An Article Which Was Probably Written
by MarriageabIe Maiden.


by Manageable Maiden.
One reason among bachelors for not
marrying is that they think by keeping
clear of matrlmony they will avoid all
care, expense and responsibility respect
ing the next generation, and secure an
equable and certain happiness in life.
even to its close. Poor. unhappy men!
it is little they know of the way in
which affairs are really to he run in
the future. In regard to this expecta-
ton. we would just ask if any one ever
knew an old bachelor who was not
burdened some way or other with chill
dren? Are they not sure to have
brothers and sisters who bring whole
legions of children into the world.
which children are sent to visit regu-
larly in alternate lots their bachelor
uncle partly to relieve the press ofmat-
ter at home. and partly from benevo-
lent desire to provide him with COM
pany and partly to cheer his solitary
parlor?
Is not "our uncle" appealed to on
every occasion of expense, such as the
fitting out of boy for college, and the
sending of another to school? And
does he not thus in the long run dissi-
pate as much of bis hard-earned gains
as if he had had children of his own
in which case, moreover, he would have
had a little more of the honor to con-
sole him for the cost? No. no; tell US
not of the sauii1q of Dictatorship. One
way or another, the expense of rearing
the next generation is pretty we'll dis
tributed oyer society.
But old bachelors are not suffered &c
escape with simply providing for troop
of nephews and nieces; they very fire.
quently become the prey of their serv-
ants, who consider their property fair
subject of plumber in every possible
shape. Where is the old bachelor-the
man who perhaps abstained from mar.
riage to escape being ruled-who is moi
wholly ruled, three-quarters tormenteG
and at least half robbed By Jenny OF
Betty or Mary-some old withered
female domestic, who knows lis cue,
and manages him accordingly. No,
no; it is all stuff to talk of there being
any saving, or any defense against
being ruled in old bachelorhood. L
bachelors knew their own interests II
time they would in reality marry ii
sclf-defense.
Finally. as to their ASSURANCE Of hap
piness to the very close of life. nothing
could be more wilfully absurd. If hap.
piness depended alone upon wealth.
which it VIGOROUSLY does not-then i;
might be secured. But happiness de
ponds upon the cultivation of the socia
affections. so far as it depends on any
thing earthly; and this is the very point
which the bachelor has neglected.
While more prudent men made provis-
ion in middle life for the necessities Of
age, by rearing attached and honora.
BILE offspring, who at last become 6
! great comfort to them, the poor, timid,
and unforseeing bachelor thought, that,
| because he WAS contented to enjoy
| wealth, he would always be so; and, &C.
cOrdingly. he went on in state of de-
| clared rebellion against nature. till. al
length, when it is too late. he finds
himself unable to be comfOrted by his
gold, and totally destitute of what
alone could make him happy.-N. T.
Leader.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

haven't felt like trying that pattern or
anything else-for a week. These awful
dragging down pains are just killing meP'
az know how you feel, and can tell you
where to look for relief. DR.. Pierce's Fa.
vorite Prescription is a certain cure for all
those peculiar weaknesses and distressing
ailments. Whyl it even cured me of pro-
lapsus, and many of my lady friends have
been cured of various grave maladies pecul
lar to our sex by this wonderful medicine. u
1t is the only medicine sold by druggists
under positive guarantee from the manu-,
facturers, that it will give satisfaction IN
every case, or money refunded. Read guar
antee on bottle-wrapper.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02
LENGTH OF DAYS.
Five Hundred Years Odds Living Lost
Art?

Five Hundred Years Odds Living Lost
Art?
Is life worth ivingl
In the days of long ago people seemed to
think 1t was, If the length Of time they de-
voted to becoming acquainted with its lights
and shadows is any criterion.
It would seem as though life must have
afforded much Of enjoyment in the good old
days. Sophocles hung On until he was 40
years old, then persisted by an accident
Attila was 124 when he died of the conse-
quence Of a revel on the night of his second
marriage. This is a warning to young
men. Epemenides was Isl at his regretted
decease.
Crowns did not sit 50 heavily on the
brows of monarchs as they seem latterly to
do. Fohi, the founder of the Chinese EN-
pire, reigned1l5 years, and sodid Apaphus
Of Thebes Egyptian. Tacitus gives 115 years
to Tuisco German prince. Daddon, an
nlyrian noble, lived for 500 years according
70 Alexander Cornelius.
The art Of living seems to be one Of the
many "lost arts, which the dark ages COW
cred over, and modern civilization has not
yet been able to uncover. 1t is certain long
life was not secured by using mineral poi
sons as remedies for disease. That is essen
TALLY modern practice. Theancients doubt
less drew on the laboratory Of nature for
their medicines, hence the span OF their
lives was naturally extended.
We know that our immediate ancestors
found their medicines in the fields and for
ests, adjoining their log cabin homes. These
natural remedies were ef1cacious and harm
less-left no poison in the system. Physi-
clans were rarely called in, and the people
lived to rugged and hearty old age. Is 1t
not worth while to return TO their whole
some methods Of cure for common ailmentsi
II. Ii. Warner & Co., Proprietors Of War
ner's Safe Cure, have introduced TO the
public a line of Log Cabin remedies, and
their name indicates their character. They
include Sarsaparilla," "Hops and 3D.
chu Remedy" Cough ard Consumptive
Remedy" Extract for External and In
ternal use, Rose Cream" for Catarrh,
"Scalpine" for the hair, silver Pills. and
porous Plaster" They are carefully COM
pounded from actual recipes, the most eff
cacious in use by our grandparents, and
those who would like to try the virtues OF
old-time remedies, have an opportunity to
secure the best in " Warmers Log Cabin
Remedies"
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02
he WAS DISAPPOINTED.
Plant of a Greenhorn Who Should Pa
Chicapo a Visit.

Plant of a Greenhorn Who Should Pay
Chicago a Visit.
While standing in front of the City
Hall, farmer from the back country
approached me and inquired:
Say. mister, dye live round here?"
Yes"
its Detroit, isn't it?"
Yes"
Sure on it, be ye, mister?"
Certainly"
"Wall, now, several hev told me the
same thing, but if tits, I'm mighty
dis'p'inted, that's al"
whats the matter with Detroit?"
"Wall. yer see, fer the last dozen
year I've bin readin' about the fights,
the pickpockets, the p'lice courts. the
confidence men an SIGH like, an jist
aching to see it with my own eyes, all
alive an kickin', an last night, when
1 puts down my paper, l says to my
old woman, Mary, l says, Mary, says
], l can't stan it no longer, an to-
morrer Pm going to the city an see
the show"
"Well. here I've bin all day, and
hain't had five cents worth of fun
nary a bunko steerer, nary pick of a
pocket, nary drunk. nary so much as
dog fight, but only a few p'licemen
loafn' round without tryin' to rest
anybody, an one little fire so fur away
that the engines put it out an hour
afore 1 got thar, an the folks wouldn't
even let me in to see the damage.
tell We. sor, if this is what yer calls q
city. it's gorl-durn swindle, an those
newspaper fellers set of material born
| liarsr'-DetrOt Free Press.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

in Japan the old-school physicians are
permitted to wear only wooden swords
This is gently sarcastic way of expressing
the opinion that they kill enough people
without using weapons. But the drug
gist who introduced DIR. Perce's Gold
en- Medical Discovery into the Empire, car
ries fine steel blade. 1t was found that
all who tried this wonderful remedy for
coughs, colds, cons umptive tendencies,
blood, skin and liver troubles, were, with
out exception, greatly benefited. The Mi
kado himself is said to have toned up"
his system by it's use, and the importer was
therefore permitted the exceptional honor
of wearing the sword of the nobility.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

You can ret beautiful picture ga hes
sage Of Love- that can not be distinguished
from a fine water color worth SIS. A full
size paper pattern worth 25 cents-design
and size of your own selection-besides the
finest magazine published. Send for the
February number that contains this won
derful picture and pattern order. Price,
90 cents. Or ask your newsdealer to get
it for your inspection. Tel him if he sends
for it for You to See, he will probably sell
hundreds of them. Published by W. Jen.
nings Demorest, Is East 14th St, New York.
Now is the time to subscribe and get ten
times the value of the SO per year.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02
18 YEARS AGO.

For IS years have intended writing you.
got nv back hurt when about 10 years
old. When about 20 1 took severe cold IN
my back, so that for 10 or II years suffered
death twice over, after almost giving up
was induced to try MerrelPs Penetrating
Oil. Ny wife applied it to my back freely
years have passed and my back still re-
mains good. / have recommended Mer.
relPs Penetrating Oil to all like sufferers
since. As long as 1 live I cannot say
enough for it. FELIX MILLER,
To Merchant, Hico. Ark.
j. s. MERRILL DRUG Co., st. Louis, Mo.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02
MEN who are great deal run after-fugi-
tives from iustice.-BoSton Courier.
A Great Chance.

If you wish a beautiful picture, that can
not be distinguished from a water color
worth large amount of money, you should
get Demorest's Monthly Magazine for Feb
ruary. 1t is simply wonderful how such an
elegant picture can be furnished in mag
azine that only costs twenty cents. II your
newsdealer has not got it, ask him to get it
for you, or send to the publisher, W. JEN.
NINGs DEMoREsT, Is East Fourteenth street,
New YORK.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

that catarrh will in time wear out. The
theory is false. Men try to believe 1t
because it would be pleasant if true,
but it is not, as all know. Do not let an
acute attack Of cold in the head remain IN
subdued 1t is liable to develop into ca
tarrh. You can rid yourself Of the cold and
avoid all chance of catarrh by using Dr.
Sages Catarrh Remedy. If already al
fiicted rid yourself of this troublesome dis
ease speedily by the same means. At all
druggists.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

EVERY person IS interested in their own
affairs, and if this meets the eye OF any one
who is suffering from the effects OF torpid
liver, we will admit that he is interested in
getting well. Get bottle of Prickly Ash
Bitters, use it as directed, and you will al
ways be glad you read this item.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02
Westward, the Course OF Empire, Etc.

We all know the quotation, but many emf
grants westward bound do not know that
1pon their arrival they will have to encoun-
ter that invisible foe of the frontiersman-
malaria. They should take an ample sup
ply of Hostetter's Stomach Bitters along.
Not only is it certain safeguard against
every form of malarial disease, but it eradi-
Gates liver complaint, constipation, dyspep-
STA, nervousness and rheumatism.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

No SAFER Remedy can be had for Coughs
and Colds, or any trouble of the Throat, than
/" Bropn's bronchial Troches" Price Is cts.
Sold only in boxea
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

THE Public Awards the Palm to Hale's
Honey of Horehound and Tar for coughs.
Pixies Toothache Drops Cure in one minute.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

enough to go in when it rains If he has an
umbl ella Life
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

WHEN photographer asks II the negative
suits you, examine IL closely before answer
Ing in the affirmative
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

WHEN bees go to new hive, of course
they have a house swarming.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

SOMEHOW men really seem to enjoy ii
when their =. lors give them fits-Detroit
Free Press.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

SOME one hrs invented pocket rife.
Pickpockets consider 1t an invasion OF their
Ii1htS
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

A CIRCUS show can pull more sick boy
and girls out of bed than all the doctors IL
town-Corsicand Observer.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

CURRENT literature-recipes for Puo-
dings-Brooklyn STANDARD.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

A SERIOUS refiection-a solemn bore's i'm
are in a mirror.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

AN utter failure-the inability to make
speech
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

To ALL the manageable girls Of 1855
Look before you leap.-LOuisvi:I CoHrtsr-
Journal
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

A FAINT impression - the spot where
woman swoons in the mud
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

MANY race for wealth has been WOE
with an iron ore-Puck.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

A CORES crew usually means fishing
vessels outfit-Nels Hdren Meas.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02
STAINING and Embroidery,

NOTHING will turn a woman's head so
completely as a bonnet that has passed by.
Puck.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

A STRIKING compositor always scuts hi
stick"
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

The interesting fact is stated that
so indestructible by wear or dccay is
the African teakwood that vessels
built of it have lasted one hundced
wears. to be then only broken up be-
cause of their poor sailing qualities
from faulty models. The wood, in fact,
is one of the most remarkable known.
on account of its very great weight,
hardness and durability. its wcightTnry-
ing from forty-two to fifty-two pocnds
per cubic foot; it works easily, but GU
account of the large quantity of sick
contained in it the tools employeSlare
quickly worn away. It also contsip $
an oil which prevents spikes and other
iron work with (Which it is in >eentsse.
from rusIng.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

THIS is the season when bartenders make
things hot for their customers BOStoH
Courier.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02
very Sensible JAMS"

Nor summer resort-the plumber.-Ho-
tel Nal
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

A SIGNAL failure-a futile attempt to stop
a street car
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02
Do Not Think for q Moment

MAYN'T diamonds and rubtes be correctly
called strata-gems!
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02
For ONLY Twenty Cents

How the proceedings in divorce case re-
minds one Of the moaning of the tied!
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

A HARD cu.-boarding-house steak
Whitehall Times.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

Amrr-hysterics-INeg Han,phirs Xe.r,
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

A Hox's sphere-a base ball
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

A GRAVE misunderstanding man alive
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

SHE stoops to conquer-the washerwoman
Puck
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

NEATLY turned-last years dress-Puek
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

A DOOR is Uften knobstreperous thing.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

A PLEASANT phiz-the soda fountains
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

UNPOPULAR sheet-music-snoring.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-02-02

Sold By Druggists and Dealers ErTytrheTe.
The CHARLES A. VneeIER CO.. Baltimore. SD.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1888-05-30
Long Pursuit of mueh-Wanted man-about
forty shots fired-the capture.
rspeclal Telegram to the Dispatch.

Special telegram TO Lne DlSpdtCH'J
ROANOKE, VA, May 26.-One of the most
exciting events iu the history Of this city
was the pursuit and capture this morning
of Ross Saunders, colored desperate, -ao
is wanted in Tazeweil county to answer the
charge of murder, in Montgomery county
the charge of highway robbery. in Lynch
burg for felony, and in West Virginia for
burglary. A few days ago the police of this
city were notified by the Chief of Police OF
| Lynchburg to be on the lookout for Saun-
ders, and yesterday he was located in a
house on Bunker Hill. 1t was known that
he was desperate character, and while ex-
ira precautions were being taken for his
capture he disappeared. This morning
about 9 o'clock he was pointed out to Of
ficer Morris by a colored man on Norfolk
avenue, and when the policeman called on
him to surrender he drew a revolver and
ran. Several shots were fired at him by the
officer without effect, and crowd was soon
in hot pursuit of him, among them being
MIR. W. r. Hipes, who was on horseback.
but unarmed. Several times when Saun.
ders's capture seemed certain he turned on
his pursuers aud drove them back at the
muzzles of two revolvers, one of which he
carried in each hand. After about forty
had been exchanged between the pursuers
and the pursued Saunders was brought to
bay about mile north of the point at which
the pursuit commenced by Mr.. Hipes, who
by this time had procured a revolver. The
desperate, when called on to stop, turned
and fired on his pursuer at short range
The shot was returned by Mr.. Hipes and
Saunders fell on his back and continued to
fire his revolvers until they were empty,
when he made for barn, which was soon
surrounded, and his capture was Effected
That no one was hurt seems remarkable.