The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1888-01-22
Children the Link That Holds
Together Welded Hearts.
HOW MEN REGARD MATRIMONl
tits a Simple Truth That the Love
Which Is Worth Winning is worth
Keeping.
Written for THE SUNDAY HERALD.

uOC almost DEedk LILY uediS, Soiu O
man whose tact and tenderness were
womauly.
We would not have our girls live
single until lonely old age finds them
destitute of what makes life worth
haYing-home and home-loves. We
believe firmly that enduring earthly
happiness is oftenest found in the holy
estate of wedlock; that good womsn
is made better, q noble man ncbier by
loving'and living with one another as
wife and husband; that their affeciioa
deepens, and ripens, and grows purer
with each passing year until neither
IS complete being without the other.
And yet. eyes grown 'grayer with tx
perience look sadly upon the happy
young thing who stands On the TIRES
hold of the new world as at the wide
gate of an Eden, which clouds and chill
and Blasting fires cannot enter. To
her bridehood is frultion. We know
it to DE probation, for which the life OF
the average girl is not a preparatory
scnCol. For no, other vocation is SO
little specitic education received even
from sensible and far-sighted parents.
This omission, often fatal one, we
may set down as a sinful error antedat-
ing marriage.
Man is usually misft from the
start" wrote Emerson, more cynically
than was the wont of the calm broWed
metaphysician.
Before deciding that the joining of
mans hand to woman's in the most
Important relation of human existence
is a mistake, and joineu hearts a misfit,
let US look at some OF the causes of
discord in the symphony of the dual
life.
The keynote that sets all ajar is
usually struck in the earlier months OF
marriage. By circus reversal of con-
ditlons, the ardent wooer OF the ante
nuptial idyl becomes the philosophically
husband with the utteranc
of the irrevocable words. Often the
pastoral becomes plain prose, With
never q trope or rhyme, by he time
the honeymoon is over. 1t was the
suitor's business to make the world
beautiful TO his betrothed during the
wooing. In wedlock the wife must
Dear with her lords caprices, minister
TO his comfort, amuse his dull hours.
or run the risk of losing him. What
husband bethinks himself o"entertain
his spouse if she be tolerable health and
spirits? What good wife does not rake
together all her sticks and straws OF
talk and apply the torch of cheerful
ness a. the homecoming of her lord!
1t Is be, not she, you may be sure, who
drinks his coffee around the edge OF the
morning and evening paper, filings wads
IF wet wool in the form of absent
minded monosyIlables upon the bonfire
aforesaid, and, when It has sputtered
Itself quite out and the paper is read
through. ya&ningly be kinks himself
hat he must "sae man" at the club
Or elsewhere, or. if very domestic in
taste. falls asleep on the library sofa.
A woman is born q wife. A man
lakes mAtIlmony into consideration
along with great many other invest
ments. He hopes earnestly that it will
ne both pleasant and profitable. Should
/. prove to be neither. he has borne the
shock of falling stocks. the disaster OF
loss in other cases, without being utterly
ruined.
Common.sense clear-sig htedness in
>ur survey of the situation Is not
oessimism. A failure to appreciate.
the cardinal truth that man is not
woman, nor woman man, is a jagged
reef connecting the Scylla of single
wretcheoness and the Charybdis OF
welded misery, and lies just under
water. 1t may be added that the crafts
which draw most water because heavily
treIghted are apt to fare the worst
here.
The citizen who has even an infini-
tesimal bit of he worlds history to
make cannot give up his whole life to
courtship. His wife. regarding love-
making and marriage as interchange
able terms, and finding in them her
lifelong profession. sis at fr-t. mazed
then hurt, then angrilly jealous of
w"ate yer divides his attention with her.
This may be classed as generic jealousy.
1t may annoy, or, If he bs easy-tem-
pered, amuse her lord. 1t inevitably
lowers his opinion of her good sense
If to a tender heart he unites quick
perceptions, he will keep business
out of her sight to the best of his ability
generally succeeding SO far rs t. confuse
the outline of what he carries under his
cloak, but allowing her to see that
there is something there of portentous.
because unknown, bulk.
Specific jealousy is 3 graver mistake.
especially when the object is another
woman. Such feeling. unexpresseds by
SO much as look. bears the same rela-
ton to open exhibition of it as does the
innocent white egg to the f1edged fight
ing cock. The thoughtless wife may
play with her husbands jealousy OF her
harmless flitations with other men.
knowing his honor to be safe in hel
hands. The absHrdity of the idea thai
she could ever love anybody else. as she
does him appeals to her sense of hnmor.
A mans first impulse on discovering
that his lawful partner objects to his
of another woman is one
of fierce impatience- champing of the,
bit. at the second check, he takes il
betwesn his teeth, In proportion to
his resentment of interference with
his liberty of action he loses respect. if
not Election, for the wou d-be tyran'.
Dearer to him than wife. child.
honor is the acknowledged right OF in
action. II ranks wi b lite,
1 L