The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1888-07-28
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

That would he a weak enterprise
which could not stand a loan.
Giants are not particularly happy.
An overgrown man has a grewsome
look--N o. Picayune.
women are the dearest, cutest
creatures in the world, but they can't
tell how shoe fits until they see the
number ~ Binghamton Republican.
1T is little strange that among all
fhc eminent men who have recently
written of 'books which have helped
me- none should have mentioned the
'ttictionary.-Ncw Hacen News.
Mrs. Chargeitplease-'Good MORN
ling, Mr.. Tapemeasure. should like
!; to see something in the way of a small
check" Mr.. Tapemeasure fcrvently)
$50 should I."-Detroh Free Press.
You never find me hiding my
light under bushel." remarked Mr..
McSwiIligen, in the course of dis
cussion with his wife. '.You don't
ineed ta." was the somewhat acrid re-
ply; "a quart measure is quito large
ienouch- "-Psns5urgh Chronicle.
Dear me-" said the little Boston
boy, after intellectual suasion had failed
and they had spanked him for the first
time; .'if had had the slightest sus-
picion that the resultant se,sSAtion was
so poignant should never have invited
the experiment" PACK
Husband Tin the early morning)-
What are you going through my
pockets for. mye.earP' Wife-"A little
change. john" Husband-"Have you
no money of your own?" Wife-"Yes;
but it is 90 much easier to find mans
pocket John. than a woman ."-Har-
pera Bazaar
sit is stated that over 10000 Ameri-
can pianos have been shipped to Russia
lin the last ten years. This will explain
why so many Russian Anarchists come
TO this country. The outlaws are labor
ing under the comforting delusion that
all the pianos in this country have been
sent to Russia. Norristovn Herald.
MIR. Cazenove-"Os course we shall
see you at Newport this season, Mrs.
Poindexter?" Mrs. Peindexter-"No
I've been thinking Of Saratoga" Mr..
Cazenove-''But It's so awfully warm
theres' Mrs. roindexter-"You for
get. MIR. Cszsnove, that l passed three
years in Newport while waiting for
divorce papers. If any thing can be
warmer than that I'd like to know it"
--Jvdqe
| -PassengerQo stranger)-"Ministe
of the gospel, imagine, sirp" Stranger
Yes. sir. have been a minister of
the gospel for forty-two years, but ex-
,pect to retire soon." Passenger
That is a very sensible move. sir. l
think when a man has made money
enough in his business he ought to get
out oft and enjoy himself IN. y Sun.
Southern Californian-"Don'tw want
ITO buy an orange grove, eh? Only an
artista" Stranger-'I am an artist.
and was advised by my friend, Joaquin
Miller. to come to California for studies
Instead of going to Italy. Hessays
California is the true color land of the
globe. was just thinking of painting
the beautiful landscape before me-"
THAT all belongs to rne. mister. every
foot of it; but I'll let you make a pict-
ure of it for half the profits. "-Omahd
World
Literature of English etiquette
conveys the valuable information that
Dukes eldest sons take precedence
over Earls, but the Dukes younger
sons have to fall in line behind Earls'
and Marquises' eldest sons, and so on
down. The graduation is little COM
plicated over there. but on this side of
the water all doubt is removed by our
simple rule of letting the drum major
lead the whole procession.-Pittsbugh
n;er0f<.h