The Russellville Democrat., 1888-09-06
THE BoWsER FAMILY.
Cranky Mr. Bowser Has a Boil and Makes
 Things Hum for n Few Days.

v man would put up with such non- sense."
 But it would nearly kill me to have it taken out" "Oh, well, do as you please about it, but I want you to understand one thing, Mrs. Bowser, l don't propose that this house shall be all upset just because you have a corn"
 "Some husbands would feel sorry" "Woud theyP We'll, when a wife goes at it deliberately and willfully to cripple herself her husband is an idiot to pity her!'
 Three or four days subsequently, Mr. Bowser came home an hour ahead of time. He looked pale and anxious, and I was seriously frightened for the moment.
 "Is-is mother sick or deadP" I asked, as l met him at the door.
 'I only wish it was nothing more serious"
 "What can it beP"
 Look heren
 He pulled down his collar and showed me red spot on the back of his neck, and plaintively added;
 Il went to the doctor. He says it's a boil"
 Well, I've expected it. Mir. Bow ser, you are the most careless man in Michigan. What on earth could you have been thinking of?"
 Careless! Thinking off he roared. "Do you suppose picked this internal thing up on some vacant lot, or bought it at some corner groceryP"
 Well, it's very strange that you should have a boil You'd better have it cut of at once. l wouldn't fool with it two minutes
 He looked at me Us if he thought I'd gone crazy, and then he shut his teeth together as if determined to say no more about it. He stood it for two hours, and was then competed to say: ''I suppose I'd better get this collar off and put on poultice."
 Il presume it would be a good plan"
 He waited half an hour more, a1nl tien had to give in and ask
 Mrs Bowser, can't you make me d poultice?"
 l made him one, and the application so relieved the pain for few minutes that he recovered his conceit. Walk ing to and fro, with his hands under his coat-tails, he said:
 Shall we go to the opera this even- ing, Mrs. Bowser, or is that corn of yours too painful?n
 Are you feeling betterP"
 Better! l always feel well, Mrs. Bowser. l shouldn't have noticed this boil at all if the doctor hadn't hap pened into the office. I wish you were more of philosopher on the subject of bearing pain. You women folks arc"
 He stopped there and gave @ jump. The momentary benefit of the warm application had passed away, and the boil was at home again to all callers. Mir. Bowser stood 1t about two minutes and then groaned.
 Any thing Yrongpn I asked.
 ''WrongP Jewhittaker jehosaphat! but I'm half dead! Mrs Bowser, I've got boill boil! Bom! Do you hear me?m
 Did you happen to notice it your selfpn 1 innocently asked.
 He crossed over and pumped down into roeking-chair, and his chin be- gan to quiver. When a mans chin be- gins to work that way it's time to let up on him. His grit is gone. l went over and smoothed his bald pate, and encouraged him to hope for the best, and in little time had him tucked up on the lounge. He seemed on the point of going to sleep, when he sud- denly reused up and asked:
 People often die with boils on the neck, don't theyp"
 "Very seldom"
 Do you think there is any-any danger in this caseP"
 Hardly"
 He was quiet again for a few min ates, and then he groaned out:
 Mrs. Bowser, can't you keep that young 'un quiet?"
 He's only talking to himself"
 But he wants to understand that bis father has boil. And there goes that girl thrashing about the kitchen again. Go and tell her you'll discharge her if she doesn't make less noise, It seems as if there was a conspiracy to kill me offr'
 Next morning the boil had doubled in size without making any further as- sessment on the stockholders, and Mir. Bowser was broken in two. When got him down stairs and on the lounge in the sitting-room. his lip hung down like a grocery awning, and he feebly said;
 Just bring me little milk toast, Mrs. Bowser It will probably be the last meal shall ever eatr'
 After breakfast he took a sudden no- ton to see the papers. Some of the reporters had caught on, and there was an item reading:
 ''Bowser's got one on the neck. Hang on to it, old chappie-its good for the system"
 Stop that paper this very day, Mrs. Bowserr he exclaimed, as he flung it down.
 But it is only a pleasant little joke
 Little jokel Little joke on prom inent citizen who is on the brink of the grave, and whose loss will be a State calamity! Stop 1t, Mrs. Bowser stop itln
 A neighbor-one of Mir. Bowser's best friends-dropped in during the l........c..... A. I