The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-05-26
FRIENDS.
BY GEORGE PARSONS LARIRor.

An immense amount of gush has been written and spoken concerning the beauty and sanctity of friendship. Endless plaints have also been made about the disappointments which are encountered in friendships. Which of the two is right-the sentimental op- timist, or the cynical mourner? Iven- ture to say neither of them is right. For, when you carefully resolve and analyze these two commentators on friendship, you find that they are one and the same.
 The cynical mourner is merely the sentimental optimist in dejected mood. And, whether he expects every sort of benefit from friendship or re- nounces all belief in it, he is equally wrong. He ought not to expect ev- erything, neither ought he to cease expecting anything.
 Friendship and your opinion of your friend ought to go hand in hand. Too frequently, while the friendship is walking the streets with every ap- pearance of prosperity, the private opinion Of one partner in the concern is lurking around the corner, or hid- ing in an alley-way, from which it is likely to dart out at any moment and upset the arm- n-arm pair, with fatal results. But what is meant by "your opinion of your friend?" Many of us know that we have stuck to this or that man through thick and thin; that we have defended him in cases where, five had acted as he did, we should have considered ourselves indefensi- ble; that we have believed in, loved and trusted him, despite the condem- nation of other people and our own disapproval. Do we entertain an exalted opinion of such a friend? By no means. Abstractly, we size him up very much as the world has sized him up; and, abstractly, we form a very poor opinion of him in some re- spects. Yet there remains in us de- gree of faith, or hope, or charity to- wards him, which makes it possible for our opinion-however uncompli- mentary it may be-to still go hand in hand with our friendship, our steadfast fondness for the man.
 We fancy that we see something in him, which others cannot see. And very likely we are right. Very likely the something is really there. Our faith may never bring it to light or make it predominant. But, on the other hand, 1t may turn out that our faith is just the one essential agent which keeps alive that quality in our misappreciated friend, and finally brings 1t forward into such strong activity that he triumphs by means of it and by means of our sympathy. So, I repeat, friendship and opinion should go hand in hand, even though the friendship be very proud and the opinion very humble.
 But the moment anything selfish enters into either the friendship or the opinion, the delicate equation that holds them in balance is de- stroyed. You must not "give away" your friend by confiding to other peo- pie your private doubts as to his quality in this or that particular. You must not even "give him away" to yourself. If you begin to suspect him, and admit the suspicion In the councils of your own mind, that very instant you sap the foundations ot your friendship. Any breach that occurs between you, after that, is a mere formality ratifying the suspicion which you have already formulated How true this is you may judge by noticing the terrible shock which as- sails your heart and your nerves, when some one whom you have loved and trusted launches against you a violent reproach, or upbraids you for fancied neglect, when all the while your heart has been brimming over with kind ness and goodwill toward him. This is the case where suspicion has lodged in the heart of the other party to tho friendship, and abruptly shoots ou, its venom against you. Conceive then, what the effect would be if you toolishly harbored and hurled { thunderbolt against him.
 Friendships, to most of us, are in. vestments from which we expect ( fair average of dividends, in the form of sympathy, amusement, or practical aid. These dividends arc sometimes 4'passed"-an incident which Is apt to incite us to violent demonstration But If we arc enabled to carry with comparative calm, railroad and min-