Telegram-herald., 1888-02-27
HARE IN TOWN.

W. a ir2ss. ous g toe oEl<ctest A&ns
ia locai ns~spapsrtoU ter ssssral ys4ss.
speal couple u ssys IL gas cars ass wssk.
sas1 lhs aaaab.s Of ksncs be s1Dok daTiDs
Ais brief yisf voaid ooap4Fs tssorscay
wita tie snorts q Pres.dsss ClsseLAss dur
iag his recent tour. Mi Is IA his slsHsst
a0w--shos basiassss -aad ks says hs =
snioy.ng IL lie tells some very f1nny
stories sboat Adwsakes. uls exTsas cold
xsA1hsF. tks number Of ~Datcaa aud the
qaAatify of besr consumed there. ~ Tie
ssy. l'll cell y0a OF party who nsofes
quite pEonlaeaEiy IN Allss1k9~ nov hs
said. ss ws Sat on . truck waiting for his
train - leave wednesday night Oh re
msnbsr Annie SolsB. We'll. shes win
us. Annie -ill be CUT in . ies dsys nov.
she has hsf periodical drunks Just the sAnns
a. aus had here. and when she CONES op
before TIE Judge she'll say, Your Honor,
II you Il oaly lst Ine 80 back - me friends
ia Grand Rapids, Mich, Wont get dfnnt
or bother yoa any more. OF course. yea
remsmbeE h0s she used to ssy 10 Judge
Heimes, Your Honor, II could only eei
10 me daughter ia Milwaukee. II you IL
Only Ieg uls OF this ume. Ill 60 10 her
snd bother ye any more She kept her
word for once. aud guess Tie oEDcefs lhete
wish she would DO u again,
Speaking Of VIII Inues reminds me that
on several occasions / have heard Case
Harvey. the popular and jolly County
Clerk, laugh over tue story of Wits ex'
pefiencs with Buffalo Bilfs Wild West
Show some three years ago. Case says
that ia representing the robbery OF the
stage coach, Will vas one Of the passengers
and as the four Indians with a Wild war
whoOp dashed down upon The coach, VIII
looked out OF the " ndOw a. them and the
four bold warriors Immediately fell TO the
ground-dead.
Frank Carpenter, Haryey's able assistant.
is inclined TO be humoristlc. aud his ex-
pertness in issuing marriage licenses seems
TO have given him further incentive 10
cherish the idea that he is TO be
second Mark Twain and rival
70 Bill Nye. he hurIs forth. at
intervals. all sorts of vile pnns and tells
some of the most improbable fish and snake
stories About month ago he hxed up
fiaring label for the reporters box. which
read: "Reporters' Box, tor Their Para
mount Consideration" and when young
pencil pusher read il aloud Frank told him
It was dangerous to repeat such large words.
Why" inquired the youth. because
they cause delays, and you know delays are
dangerous" answered the humorist. The
other day the label was changed again, and
now IL reads: "Chestnuts. Old and New.
Frank did IL, but he wasn't a bit funny
when "a heavy weight reporter told him he
was more of q chestnut. .tnan the contents OF
the box.
Two friends met in the union depot the
other day, one from Chicago and the other
| from Los Angeles. Where are you goingT
| asked the latter. Going To Los Angeles TO
| spend the Winter, and your" Il am going
to spend the Winter In Chicago" replied
the Los Angeles man.
A short time ago the mistress of q house
was overheard asking the servant girl In an
angry tone of voice. if she ever swept under
the bed, and the servant girl calmly replied
that she always diu, as she preferred IL TO q
| dustpan.
| A close observer will notice that traffic on
| the business thoroughfsres of the city is
| greatly impeded by the-to a certain ex-
| tent-useful vehicles known as delivery
wagons. Walk up Canal aud MOnroe-sts
| and about every block you will see one o
| them loom up with 10 TO % cent delivery
| painted in bold relief on the canvas cover
| ing. They drive increasingly up and down
the streets at a very slow pace, seeking EN-
| p!oyment. | have seen as many as twenty
| carriages turn out into the car track 10 pass
one of these delivery wagons while 1t wa,
toiling slowing along Monroe-st., from
Division-st. to Campau Place. Why no
have a regular stand tor these wagon.
like unto the hack stands and thus reliev,
the streets of an eyesore and an obstruc
| tionl Our main sreets are very mario v
and no such impediment should be allowed
10 monopolize them.
In parlor the other evening the subjec
OF flirting was brought up for discussion
and flirts in general we're given a terribl,
raking down by some of the elders.
young lady, who, by the way, is not giver
to flirting. but who enjoys a little innocent
amusement when the occasion offers, saiC
in q very decided manner: We'll, | don
think that smiling or making eyes at one i!
flirting, but only where they break hearts.
The assembly merged into one broad grin
commonly called society smile-and on,
of the ladies said that she guessed ther,
wasn't much flirting done then. as heart
weren't very easily broken. at least sh,
hadn't experienced any splitting sensation
in the region where her heart was supposed
10 be located.
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BLOWING AT GRAND HAVEN.