The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1888-05-05
THE ARIZONA KICKER.


Selected Kicks from the Last Issue.l
"The jackassities of Jackass Hill
are chuckling because II is reported
around town that the First National
Bank refused to discount our note for
$25. We did go to the Bank and ask
to have note Of that size discounted
and we failed to get the money. but II
was not because our note was not con-
sidered good. II was because the
president of the Bank. assisted by the
gentlemanly and able cashier, had lost
every dollar the Bank possessed at n
faro table the night before, and they
were waiting for an old sucker in
Massachusetts, to send ON some more
tin. The First National advertises a
capital Of $4,000. 1t never had above
$4,000 in its vaults. II has always
been run in connection with Switzer's
dance house, and its staff of officers
have been the best patrons of the gam
bling houses and the race track. Jack
ass Hill had better draw in Its horns
or we'll give half dozen more of the
bon-ton away to the Sheriff.
awe had a criticism on the Cover
nor Of Kansas In our last, and old Peg
leg White, who keeps the one-horse
grocery at the corner of Apache ave
nue. and Redhead alley, came in and
ordered out his advertisement In con.
sequence. We are glad of It. Old
pegleg has been selling wormy her
rings, adulterated whisky and skipper
cheese to tho people Of this town fol
flrst-class goods, and next week We
shall open on him. We have heard
that the old choker is a bigamist and
horse thief, and we have got mar
on his record
"A so-called poem on the death Of
the Poverty Hollow kid who was run
over by mule last week, was showed
under the door last night, with accom-
panying statement that It's publication
would enlarge our circulation. That'
all soft soap, and mighty poor quail
ity at that From certain earmarks
we are satisfied that Arabella Devoe
Perkins wrote the alleged poem. II
her father ever saw copy Of the
Kicker IL was in some one else's hands
and her mother Is the lady referred to
last week as dropping lead nickels
into tke contribution box. Arabella
is average enough, but knows more
about mop handles than poetry"
awe have received a two-column let
ter signed 'Yeritas,' which purports
to give true history of Major Galva-
sus Burt, proprietor and landlord Of
the Adams House. lie is shown up
as a thief, hypocrite, liar and coward,
bdt we shall not publish It. While he
keeps the most miserable apology for
a hotel on earth, and while we are sat
isfed he would steal the winkers from
Il dead dogs eyes, the Major was the
first man in town to subscribe to our
paper, and we shall not go back on
him unless he refuses to renew
at has been remarked that when
ever stranger who looks like de-
tective appears in town about four
fifths of our leading citizens hunt
their holes like foxes. This matter
has been carried so far as to seriously
interrupt business. We wish strangers
would keep away
ave had call yesterday from Jim
Dana, editor of the Western Bull
Whacker. Jim is the raggedest, lean
est, poorest, dried-up specimen of the
editorial fraternity that we ever shook
paws with, and his paper isn't fit to
wrap dead coyote in. lie is always
blowing about the Bull Whacker's in-
fluence and circulation, and has got
an idea that he will go to Congress
next year. His journalistic dishcloth
is the laughing stock of the seouon.
Jim couldn't sell himself for wolf bait.
Vaprant-aRpp harding mum buf