St. Landry democrat., 1888-05-12
ABOUT HANDSPRING.
The Pump-Handle Process an Unneces-
sary and Disagreeable One.

rhe Pump-Handle Process an Unneces-
sary and Disagreeable One.
If any one who is at all curious in
the matter of statistics will be good
enough to try and calculate the num-
Der of people who meet each other
every day in London alone, to say
nothing of the provinces, or in fact,
of any other place either in or out of
England, and of whom quite two
thirds. we think we may positively as
sert, shake hands" when they do SO
meet, the numbers would probably APP
pear absolutely incredible, and yet
more extraordinary still it would seem
that out of these many millions OF
hand-shakers no two are absolutely
similar. Why do we shake hands? No
one appears to know 1t does not
mean much, if any thing. Who has
not suffered from the strong and hearty
grasp OF, let us fondly hope, ardent
friendship, when our perhaps winged
hand is wrung with the feryor of
enthusiastic gushingness or affection
by some juvial Hercules in
dogskins, who forgets he some
times goes near to smashing the-frag-
lie and confiding fingers rashly for
the moment placed at his mercy. Why
are we thus compelled to suffer from
our friends? Who has not suffered
from the man who. when you meet
him, holds your hand as if it were a
pump-handle for ten minutes and will
not let go? Who has not suffered
from that other who will not hold on
at all, but allows you to do the shak.
ing process for him? Who does not
know the man who simply seizes your
hand to throw it violently away from
him in apparent fury? Who does not
fear the sort of spasmodic hand-shaker
who pushes you backward and for
ward to him and away from him, as il
he were saving you perpendicularly
through? Who does not try to shun
the man who works your arm around
as if you were barrel organ? Who
is unacqualnted with the man with the
clammy hand who. as a rule. will not
wear gloves? Why must we shake
hands with him?
Yet we all do it; we dislike it; we
dislike it very much, even; he sees we
dislike it, that it is positively distaste-
full to us; yet, meet him tomorrow,
and out comes his hand once more to
engulf your own, and make you wish
you had gone wherever you were going
by another route. To sit down calmly
to write of shaking hands" is SO
enormous an undertaking that one
would require almost three volumes
wherein to express all there is to be
SAID ON this subject. When one thinks
that not only every country in the
world, but nearly every county in that
country has some special and dis
tinguished method of salutation on
meeting friends and acquaintan ces, it
seems absurd even to attempt it. We
are credibly informed that handshak-
ing, which is supposed to be a proof
of friendly feeling. first came into
fashion in the time of Henry IL
Up to that time our ancestors were
more affectionate in their greetings
than we, their colder-n atured descend
ants, embracing and kissing each
other much in the same fashion as our
neighbors on the other side of the
Channel and in Italy are accustomed
to do at the present moment. The
historian who is pleased to date the
commencement of Misunderstanding in
place of OSCILLATION and embracing
about Henry lis time is, perhaps, in
error, as it is more probable the close
embrace of acquaintances began to
be discontinued later on, perhaps
when tobacco was first introduced into
this country. This certainly seems a
probable surnlise, as even in our pres
ent year of grace a man who has been
smoking a cheap cigar or a rank pipe
is certainly not the most enforceable
object in the world; and only think
what the tobacco of Raleigh's time
must have been like!
However. whether Henry II did Or
d1d not DeSln Ihe FASHION OF Shaking
hands, it is now rapidly becoming
overdone in England. The fine '.feur
DIES pois,'' the .'creme de la creme"
the quite too-too people do not indulge
in this practice as much as the upper
and lower middle classes, for there
ers-y one shakes hands with every
one on entering and leaving room.
on meeting in the street, and on say
ing good morning." good night or
good bye" IT is wonder we En-
gllsh have not transplanted this irri-
tatlng and glove splitting habit over
the world. Certainly in some parts Of
India they shake hands as we do. but
it is by no means universal, though, to
please us, be it understood, foreigners
of ali degrees. from the Duke to the
dustman. try to ingratiate themselves
with us English people by shaking our
hands immoderately whenever they
get chance. London Queen.
Authentic Information.
Landlady Ito attic floor, back, a