The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1888-08-28

Wis NdudDlc ueNiCt, as III 81 many
others, the brute creation are lost sight
Of, and there seems TO be no arrange
ment for suddenly wheeling the unsus-
pecting mule around out OF the way of
the posterior grape shot. This omission
should be remedied before the remark
able combination plough is brought in
TO general use.
A patent exists for mounting house
on wheels 80 that it may be turned
around on circular track, the benefit
being that every part of the residence
is thus alternately brought to the from
gate, and the sun, which is notorious
ly limited TO a semi-circuit, is made to
shine into every window in spite of the
laws of the solar systems. | am sorry
to report that this patent is nearly run
out, and that if people with cavernous
and darksome rooms would take ad-
vantage of it they must do so without
delay.
PATENT AGAINST EARTHQUAKES.
There is patent for putting springs
under house to keep an earthquake
from tumbling u down--by the inven-
tor of the how ozer-resisting mule.
There is a patent for sinking a steam
boiler so deep in the earth that the
great heat would generate steam for
use on the surface-thus avoiding ex-
plosions and saving fuel. 1t is the
opinion Of some biologists that suf-
ficient heat for this would be obtained
at depth of about three miles.
Worthy of notice here is the scheme
for supplying cities with milk. The
inventor proposes to lay complete
system of pipes, fill them with water to
keep them pure and cool, and let in
milk at the end This would seem to
be case of incidental protection for
the producer
An application was made for pat
ent for ga device to enable a dog to
turn short corner but it is yet hung
up in the Patent Office on account of
doubts as to its utility. The inventor
said he had noticed that dog, in turn
ing corner rapidly, always projected
his tail in an opposite direction, striv-
ing thus to overcome the momentum.
This claimant claims a palm leaf fan
so tied to dogs tail that it will oper-
ate vertically, and thus enable him
more readily to alter bis course.
A curious patent has been granted
"to enable trains to avoid collisions. 3"
1t provides that one train shall be sup
piled with prolonged inclined cow
catcher in front and rear, so that the
other train appearing Unexpectedly, in
stead of telescoping, will run right up
on the top of it and over on to the
level track at the other end The in
ventor is now cudgeling his brain to
decide which train shall be the climber
and which the ciumb. The depart
ment did not demand the production
of working model nor the pei form
ance of the feat.
Another curious patent is stupend-
Gus swing to be elevated above the
railroad depot, containing such passen-
gers as desire to take the next express
train, which does not stop. When the
train is sighted, the swing is oscillated,
and when it goes laundering under
meath the swing moves gently in the
direction the train is going and quietly
spills the passengers into the cars. This
invention has not yet been tried, and
the report that Commissioner Hall has
applied for front seat in the swing at
the first trial is entirely unfounded.
PORTABLE FooT-wARMER.
A new foot, warmer that attracts
some attention in showcase is
forked rubber tube tnat runs
down over the chest and down the
pantaloons legs and into the boots.
The method of conveying caloric to
the lower extremities is the revels of
complicated. The wearer simply
bows in the top of the tube.
DR.. Mary Walker has taken out a
patent to teach children to spell by the
use of REFUSES and conundrums.
One of the CT ous patents of recent
wears is a WOO en- cat covered with
luminous paint to scare away rats.
whether real cats are apt to be phos-
phorescent at night, the rats have not
yet reported.
An application was recently made
for "a machin to manipulate numbers
for creation of valnes.' Careful ex.
animation of it showed a new gambl-
ing device.
A patent for a church collection box
was taken out by Methodist deacon OF
Connecticut recently. 1t is so constrnc,
ted that the surface box instantaneo-
usly turns over, depositing each coin
into lower box. This prevents mon
ey being taken out of the box, and il
exposes those who pretend to make an
offering but do not, for the gesture is
not followed by the jingle.
An odd and valuable invention has
recently been made to hermetically
seal up live fish for transportation. II
has long been known that fish would
die in very few days if the water was
exposed to the air, but just now, fol
the first time in the history of the
world, it has been discovered that they
will live in the same water for weeks
and perhaps months if closely sealed
up air-tight.
The slot machines, which, "move il
you drop in nickel" instead of hbing
new, as generally thought, were in use
1000 years ago and doled out holy
water at the Temple of Diana.
There is heap of trouble in Louis
ana between Baptist parson and one
of his flock, each claiming to be the
discoyerer of the efficacy of chalk
mark around a. table leg to preven,
ants ascending. 1t is contended that
the ant develops formic acid and when
he encounters the chalk the contact il
followed by instant effervescence and
an explosion.
Harriet Hosmer, the sculptor, ap-
lied here for patent for perpetual
motion thirty-years ago. Occa sionally
some such device gets past sleepy ex
aminer, as, for instance, the patent fol-
a propeller screw turned by the water
at the bow of ship and turning a
wheel at the stern to move the ship
These are called in the department
"balf-past-two-o'cloc patents"
l haven't time t. go any further IN