The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1888-10-23

name is the ofiice-roach, and there is no
doubt IL can provoke more profanity in
fifteen minutes than all the rest of the
insect world in accntury.
Its favorite victim is the exchange editor.
When the nights are warm, and the win
dows open, blue streaks of sulphurous
profanity four feet long, Jambic measure
may be seen coming from the direction of
his desk with nevcr-endng regularity.
They are all caused by the ofice-roach,
who has converted no less than dozen
good Christian young men into bowling
blasphemers. They walk over his white
paper, eat his paste, nbble at his lunch,
crawl all over the lemon pie he has care
fully saved up for n bonne bouchc, lick
the gum off his last postage stamp, and
in other ways make life burden TO him.
The exchange editor at his best is not
patient animal. Much digging in daily
and weekly exchanges has worn all
the enamel OIL his nerves and
made him rs irritable and choleric
and crusty as goutriddCn and
stern old "parient,' who figures so
simultaneously in the ancient play. The
bare sight of roach iniuriatcs him MS n
red flag does bull and dozen pair OF
shears has he DESTROYED in the vain effort
TO brain one. A few nights ago relief
came to him from an unexpected source and
in brief half hour the cup Of his happi-
ness wuSiull TO overlooking. 1t happened
inthis wise. The story is divided oil into
chapters in order to pandor to the sensa,
tional demands OF the time.
CHAPTER l.
The exchange editor sat at his desk in
wardlv cusslng the fate that made il his
business to rescue the stray grains of wheat
that occasionally blow themselves into
the chat of the exchanges. 4 weary dcs-
pairing look was In his eve. His trusty
shears lay for moment idle in his limp
and nervcless hand. In the dim pcrspec-
tive OF the wall paper he could see the Of
flee roach creeping from his lair and lac
knew that the hour OF his torment had GOMEZ
The editor groaned his teeth in help
less misery. lie knew he couldn't hit that
roach with the shears and vet, some secret
| intuition told him that lac could not resist
| the temptation 20 take one whack ut him
anyhow. On came the roach, needless Of
danger and stccrcd straight Tor the paste
pot. His connection with the press seems
only 10 have added to and intensified the
! galI with which nature hal endowed him.
| The editor made several Intellectual dabs
at him bu, the roach paid no attention to
! his futile demonstrations OF hostility and
| lcisurcly proceeded Co finish his meal,
while the editor ground has teeth in inn
potent fury.
CHATTER n.
Between the editors desk AMI the
wall n small spider had been set up
in business by his thoughtful mother.
She wanted him TO lcarnhis trade by prac-
ticing on reaches, because she knew there
| were no flies on TuE ArrENI. She builth
a house, fixed him nice little hammock IN
the front yard, exienlng iromth the wall 60 tic
I desk, and then left him to swing Tor hiU-
sell The poor little spider got very hun
| CRY during his tirst days Cl hustllng cN.
| pcrcncc and opened his mouth uycnnusly
| whenever the sleek office roach passed him
on his way to his CUSTOMARY three meals q
day at the paste pot and often cgIlcd him
| SELF with visions VI fresh roach served In
every style. 'Pastc-stuilcl roach! We
gods, what feast. huwould at such times
mpiurously cxclaim. liut no roach came
within reaching distance Of his inlantic
arms, aud the cunning little rogue began
extending his domain aud getting IN more
| cleared land every day, until lac had scy-
crll acres of web iu cultivation and was
bound to get roach It the paste held out
CnAFfrE M.
ON the night when this story opens the
Office roach was returning from an unus-
ually hearty meal, lac slate condition oi
/ the paste having imparicd 10 TIA lAm'
| burgcrian flavor nud smell very grateful IA
| his cpicurian palate. The editor watched
| him iurjiycly and iur tho gD9ih time raised
his shears and lcyclrd q crushing blow nj
his pcrscculor, but rs usual missed him
| about ten inches The roach cnsi sheer
ing glance behind him and scamprrcd oil
10 relieve his partner, who stood watch
while hc was at lunch.
CHAPTER W.
Tho shears had dropped from the edit.
| nrs hand aud his mighty brain WAS at
| work dcvisIng plans for the destruction ui
| the next roach that came along suddenly
! a bright idea struck him, the first IN many
| wears, and after he had recovered from the
| .hock hc ncrycd himself Ia the encounter.
al the caiapnlt don't fetch him. nothing
| will" II will he noticed that the editor 3
grammar WIS way ulI, hut his supreme
agitation will account for u.
Roach No. . soon came In sight. and "a
soon ~ the smell ol the paste struck hi,
Keen noslnls; lac danced Tor JOY. The
| editor saw him coming q mile oil
aud waited, sarduuic grin illumining
his naughty features. lie fixed his caia'
putt and awaited the enemy With grin dc'
termination. The caiHpult was simple
cnnlriyancc constructed by pressing tie
nail III the second finger against the ball 81
| the thumb and then letting go the second
finger with q snnp. Little dreaming %
danger the mach came ioyOusly skipping
along. The little spidrr came ont OF hii
hammock aud licked his chops ~ hc gn1cd
at him. The editors muscles became rigid
and Jus, N the roach got opposite Z,
him lie let the second finger %, the caia
pnlt went oil with dull thud, the roacl
ilcw into space with a wild shrek aud al
was silonL
CHAPTER v.
The editor with goulish CLEO sat ~
ioicng over his crime, when stpngi
commoiion over In the little spider
mansion attracted his attention. Now, by
81. Paul, here was unexpected luck, Tia
Office roach had fallen into the littl'
spiders front yard and that young rnsca
was having some fun With him. lie 90
out his lasso anil threw Il over Ia
prisoners neck and frightened Il nj ever
pull. while the editor looked on, shouting
with glec. Then the little spider got on
another lnriat and skilliully east u owe
the rOach's legs; then he tied him 10
fence post aud there the roach lni
, squirming and kicking. but helpless, Will
. the playful littlG spider danced all owe