Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-04-18
MR.. MOUSER'S SAWBUCK

Mr.. Mouser and his merry little wife
occupied charming cottage in the
suburbs OF large city in the Father
land" His business connections were
of such nature that he was usually al
leisure after o. clock in the afternoon
Mr.. Mouser prided himself on being 8
man OF originality and brains. Mr.
Mouser also liked little joke--at other
peoples expense.
It was autumn. Mr.. Mouser had just
laid in goodly supply oil winter fuel
Wood was chiefly used for this purpose
in the land of Mr.. Mouser's birth
Sitting by the window OF his cosy
living-room, enjoying a royal smoke
from the long-stemmed porcelain pipe
Mr.. Mouser watched the wood-sawyel
plying his trade, made easy by long
Mr.. Mouser gazed and pondered an
idea crept into his head. It was
grasped-as ideas quickly became cap
tive there.
'LiZbeth," said he to his wife, cit is
singular / never thought of it before
generally think of such things-but il
strikes me that | could saw that wood
myself"
Gracious what an idea ?''
"A br ght one, isn't ii? A big saving.
too! Just see with what ease it is done
the man cuts through the sticks as II
he were slicing bread and butter; be-
sides, | require more exercise; my
health is not what it has been !"
why, dear, do you feel i'll ?"
N-nO, but q msn needs to exert him
"A ho - l. H.
muscular power. My hab is are too con.
fining; sense of this fact has been
growing on me lately But | have solved
the difficulty while watching that man
play on his saw-iack."
A merry twinkle of the eyes, and a
Iaudable endeayor to maintain serious
expression, would have convinced the
beholder that Lizbeth also had ideas,
but like a properly respectful wife she
kept them to herself until called for.
do you think, Lizbeth, that little
gentle muscular activity is what need
TO stimulate appetite ?'
"You might paint the house or do
some less tiresome work than woodsaw
ing" replied Mrs. Mouser.
''Oh, you underrate my capacities, my
dear. And saving wood is not such
hard work. Come and see how simply
it is done, yet how every muscle is
brought into play. I am enchanted
with my idea, and shall carry it out.
The man can finish this job, but it shall
be the last ever pay for. What think
YOU of it, wife p
well" laughed the lady demurely
i think We shall be obliged to live on
cold victuals and wear blankets to keep
from freezing. But seriously, dear, you
had better consider what hard labor
you are planning for yourself. IF !
were you | would experiment on a few
cordsticks and assure myself that it is
as easy as it looks"
That's just like woman - retorted
Mouser, disdaintully; ''she never does
anything heroically; she is totally in
competent in matters of physical calcu-
lation. Now | can see just as we'll as if
had stood over that mans saw jack fol
an hour the amount of force required to
drive a saw through a stick of cord
wood. And | declare to you here and
now that / am going to do the next load
myself. 1t is play; nothing but play p
Lizbeth laughed so tantalizingly that
Mr.. Mouser turned upon her in furry
of indignation, saying:
You seem to have your doubts,
madam ~
Seeing is believing, sir ~
"Well. you shall see. You ought to
know by this time that am man with
am going to do thing I do 1t. Please
bear this in your shallow mentality
Mrs. Mouser, that 1, your husband, am
determined to never more pay one
dollar for Wood-sawyer's hire"
II am afraid I shall have to do little
Of the wood-sawing myself, then, y
gravely murmured Mrs. Mouser.
Mr.. Mouser meant business. He al
once ordered the very best kind of q
saw-jack made. He purchased splen.
did saw, with sharp teeth and light
frame. He pranced about, happy as q
schoolboy, with dabs of yellow and
green paint spattered all over his per-
son, until finally the sawframe suited
him in its bright yellow coat. The saw.
jack he painted lovely light green.
Daily he pTomenaded impatiently
around the sheds where the wood was
stored, and grumbIed because the fuel
lasted so unusually long. At intervals
he added another coat of green paint to
the highly decorated saWiDg-iack
{"sawbuck," as it is called sometimes)
and babe all his acquaintance and
friends come and inspect his patent cal
isthenic toys, until every one for miles
around became familiar with Mr.. Nous
er's green sawing-jack.
At last the longed-for day arrived. A
big load OF fine hickory had been piled
up in close proximity to the tools o.
defamation.
Mr.. Mouser was all excitement. He
passed by his amused wife with import
ant disdain,, and scarcely gave himself
time to devour his dinner, he was SC
eager TO be at work
Nothing more, thanks" he replied
as his wife wished to replenish his cup
Rising, he fastened to handle his pets
with an ardor that caused Lizbeth tc
smile knowingly as she watched him