Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1888-08-18
THINGS WISE AND OTHERWISE,

She answered ana said, 'sir, what's that to
your
Oh, where have you been my pretty fair maid,
Your boots are so dusty, your eyes sparkle too
She answered and said, "Sir, what's that to
your
Oh, I've been hunting my pretty fair maid,
Through San Francisco for one such as thee
She answered and said, "Sir, what's that to
me?'
Oh, I've been haunted my pretty fair maid,
With eyes face and form owned By thee
She answered, but softly, "Sir, what's that to
me?
| know am old. my pretty fair maid,
Too old for a sutton to thee
She blushed and whispered, ''Sir, what's that to
me-"
Tho old l am rich my pretty fair maid,
have millions to spend all on thee,
You old foo" she replied, "the East is for
thee
Sacramento, August 10, 1888. MAC.
A one-horse concern: Which will win
the race?
To get tart reoinders: Put your fingers
in somebody else's pie-dish.
English sparrows make tough pies-sort
of gutter percher, as it were.
swell, Count any sport this morning."
Helas mon ami, very sad sport | ave
shot three beautiful misses" Anglice:
missed three beautiful shots
An Irish magistrate asked prisoner if
he was married. "No" replied the man.
"Then," said his worship, amid peals of
laughter, Z" it's good thing for your WIFE"
O'Jiminy (making speech): can whin
Oh tell We this, Oh do not spake doubtfully
1t is no hearsay evidence. 1t was told me
by mon who has good reputation for
veracity."
Colonel Ingersolps ideal of great law
yer is the English attorney who accumu-
lated 100000, and left it all, by will, to
establish home for idiots, on the ground
that he wanted to give it back to those
from whom he took it,
Things one would rather have left I'M
said: She: No; | can't give you an
other dance But Pll introduce you to the
prettiest girl in the ROOM" He: "But
| don't want to dance with the prettiest
girl in the room. | want to dance with
your
Mistress, to applicant for place of cook:
What experience have you had as cook?"
Applicant was siven years in me lasht
place, mum ~ "Why did you leave there ?"
"The masther and misthress both died,
num-" What did they die of?' "Indi-
gestion, num-"
" Waiter" said gentleman in the din
ing-car, "have you got any gooseberry
pie?" g" No, sah," replied Cufey amt
carrying any dis yeah, sah.0 "Why is
that?" "Well, you see, sab, dey's scarce
I I l..
stormy dat it was mighty tough on de
geese"
Father of Young Girl Z" should think
you would be satisfied after the treatment
you got here last night ] kicked you
down the front steps and set the dog on
you and he came back with big piece of
your trousers. Now what do you want ?"
Young Man: I'd like that piece of CLOTH
please"
There is a story told of Boston attor-
ney who, on the eve of being married,
found it impossible to reach the appointed
place and telegraphed for "stay of pro-
ceedings," the legal rhraseology of the
dispatch proving that even at such an
and Coke could not shake off the verbal
letters of the law.
After certain concert, a well-known
German cantatrice asked gentleman to
whom she had been introduced how he
liked her duet. "You sang charmingly,
madame. But why did you select such
horrid piece of music?'' "Sir, that was
written by my late husband" "Ah, yes;
of course. did not mean-But why did
you select such a COW to sing with you p
" Ach Himmel! that is my present hus-
band"
Wichita, Kan, girls stand no fooling.
One of them was TO have been married a
day or two since, and the girl was all
ready, the minister on hand, and the feast
was spread, but still no bridegroom. "Pll
wait for him just ten minutes, and then
Pm open to proposals" Ten minutes flew
like the wind, and little red-haired fell
low, with paper collar and his trousers
frayed at the bottom, stepped up, proposed,
was accepted, married, and scooped in the
banquet