The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-04-11
BRIGHT BITS.

-, DowN in Kentucky they call State Treasurer
honest" if he doesn't take the safe when he
starts for Canada. Chicago NetCs.
NOTHING is ever really lost, or can be lost"
sings Walt Whitman. Walt appears to have
never played poker. Chicago Mail
''CAUsEUR" says when New York wants a
thing money cuts no figure Then New York
doesn't want Grant monument-LO1CeH COu
ricr
In ANSWER to Mr. James Whitcomb Rileys in
aury, "Hegh-ho, babyhood! Tell me where
you lingerl'' we will state that by going TO the
mat. some aft he will find out.-Mtnnedpotts
Tribune.
OLD LADY Ito tramp who has asked for some
thing TO eat)-What kind of victuals do you
mostly get when you beg bite?
Tramp-Cold shoulder, naturalization COu-
Tier.
PoPINJAY-Wel Blobson, you've made
pretty good thing out of the grocery business,
haven't your
Blobson-Oh, yes, I've made success of it in
a small weigh burlington Free Press.
THE ARCHITECT Ito his rustic draughtsman)-
Mr.. Smith, I'm afraid al these measurements
were taken by eye. were they not?
Mr.. Smith (astonishe1 at his employers gram
mar(-Oh no, sir; | assure you that you you're
not responsible for any Of them.-LQe.
FRIEND Ito business man)-You seem to be
busy this morning. Brown.
BRowN-Yes, I've got about fifty letters to
write.
why don't you use your typewriter"
I'm in to big hurry. ''-TerGs Sifti1gs.
DISAPPOINTED AMATEUR AUTHoR-I have Just
received my drama back with thanks. | have
sent poems, essays and stories, but everything
gets returned. What can send that will meet
with acceptance:
Sympathetic and Practical Friend-Try a
twelve months subscription.-LJe.
YOU'VE MAN. shall expect you to pay your
own bills" said father who had been consd-
erably annoyed by his sons eXtravagant habits.
Certainly father" returned the youth. Il
don't expect you to run about seeing my tailor
and shoemaker. Just leave a check on my desk
for me in the morning, and I'll see that the en-
tire matter is settled myself. "-MerchdR t
Traveller.
REVENGE IS SWEET" Mother" said Miss
Clara, do you think Bobby ought to lounge in
that handsome chair?N
Certainly not, Bobby" said his mother, re-
provingly, you might break it."
"If it is strong enough to hold Clara and Mr.
Feathery," argued Bobby, as he slowly slid
down, 1T ought to be strong enough to hold
little boy.n-Ne,0 York Sun.
A CHANCE TO SHOW ATrENTIoN-"Do you
think Miss Ethel he inquired TREMENDOUSLY
Hthat could see your father this eveningf'
II hardly think so, MFR. Lastyn, she replied
with soft and not unbecoming blush. Papa
is in the library with Mr. Getthere, and expect
he will need me, too, in few minutes. But
am sure that any other evening papa would be
more than happy to have you call on him He
is always pleased when young people show him
attention "-Puck.
~ HAVE long loved your daughter, SIR" he
said, land l would fain make her my wife"
''You would what, make her your wife?'' de-
manded the old man, who has knots on his
head.
II wonld fain make her my wife, SIR
"Well, would fam say thee nay' with bitter
sarcaSmG
"a young man who uses such language as you
do would have to stand his landlord off for the
second months rent. '-Ne,0 York sun.
GEORGE DEAR, " said Martha-you have heard
of the family-"what makes you so late to-
nighty'
swell, TO tell the (hic) homes truth, m dear,
I've been at the office balancing my books"
II fancled as much, and knew you would be
tired. so have large goblet of cherry bounce
for you. I'll fetch it.
George winked as he slowly drew off his
boots.
so much for reputation for veracity," he
whispered to himself.-New York sun.