Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-19
Mr.. AND MRS. eowsER.
BY MRS. BowsER.

\ burglar alarm he has replied:
''Bosh! Burglars know what houses
10 enter"
But we have something 10 steal"
Certainly we have; but no burglar
is going TO enter house when he
knows that the owner stands ready to
shoot the top of his head Off Don't
vou worry about burglars They all
know me. and know enough to keep
away from me-
A week ago the house next to us was
entered and dcspoiled. and next day
begged Mr.. Bowser for Heavens's
sake 10 get an alarm connected with
our doors and windows.
TO scare burglars awayr' he ex-
claimed. in the key of G. Not much!
Let EN- come in. want 'em inside"
"And you-vou would capture
lhcm?"
Never capture! The burglar who
gets into my house dies there! The
coroner may come and sit on that body.
but it will be lump of lfeicss clay"
"And you won't get an alarm"
No. ma'am. I'll BRING home n
shotgun and base ball bat. but just to
comfort you. Nature has gwen me all
the weapons want against burglars"
Then Mr.. Bowser crossed his hands
under his cOat-tails and walked up and
,l,vn IA, v,oL . Salf oo,icGaJ NAV ,Iat
took courage. Next day he brought
home the gun and the club. and as he
deposited them ut the head OF the bed
he explained:
IFS simply to give you more conf
rlcnce; understand? For my part I'd
give $500 TO lind a burglar in my
house"
That night, soon after midnight. 1
heard something fall in the house. and
nudgrd Mr.. Bowscr into wakcfulness
and told him of it.
"Irs that Internal old cat {" he
growIcd in reply. you've got bur-
glars on the brain. and hope one will
Gomez
Ten minutes passed and was sure
heard some one creeping upstairs. |
nudScd Mr.. Bowser again and told him
50, but he replied:
"Alrs Bowser if you wake me up
ara II III 20 down town to sleep the
rcma ndcr OF the night! You can be u
iunat;c on shorter notice than anybody
| ever heard OF! Now, go to sleep
and -"
The reason he stopped there was be-
cause dark lantern was flashed in our
faces and n stern voice exclaimed:
If either one of you make move
to get up Iii blow your brains Out"
The burglar had como. The victim,
whose blood Mr.. Bowser was hunger
ing for, stood over us. The M dnght
marnudcr. on whose lfeless clay the
Coroner was TO sit, was ready to be
'sot" on. | confess was badly fright
rned, but did not lose my senses. |
knew he was there to rob, and that he
had all the advantage. and | did not
move II finger
Come. old chap" continued the
| burglar after moment, Il want your
services. Get out of THAR
Take all we have. but spare our
livcsm pleaded Mr.. Bowser.
"Thats what I'm going TO do, old
dullcr! CT NIB out o that and hunt me
up your wealth.
With that he lighted the gas sal
down on the edge of the bed, and Mr..
Bowscr brought him both our watches,
and the 5000 hidden in the dresser.
never saw Mr.. Bowscr so oblging and
thoughtful. He even rummaged the
dresser 10 find my last rhinestone pin.
and he said Eyes, sir and mo, sir. "
to that burglar with the greatest res
poet. When everything of value up
stairs had been collected. the man said
| Now, old doublc-slins, wrap thai
swag in towel and bring it down
stairs for metz
You won't Kill him!" grasped.
"NO. marin; | haven't tho time tc
spare for that. What's that gun and
club for?
40 defend ourselves from burglars.
| wish | knew how to shoot"
Exactly. ma am; and admire youl
Spunk. Here's your watch and jewclr,
back. and hope you'll pardon this in
truSiOn. Sorry You've got such an old
funk for II husband. but divorces cos
money. Come along. old shingles!'
Mr.. Bowscr mcckiy followed hin
down stairs. got out all our cho CO sill
yer from the safe, found him 4 basket
10 carry off his plumber, and was ther
driven up stairs while the burglar made
off Mr.. Bowscr got into bed without
II word. and sat up and ! stoned unit
heard the rascal 90. Then said:
well. Mr.. Bowser. your wanted
burglars. We've had n real. live one,
and the house is cleaned out"
"And who's TO blame for it? Mrs
Bowser. | d dn't believe you would evel
dare speak TO me again.
Who's 10 blame? Am ~"
WHO else can be? Here for forty
successive nights you've kicked mt
awake from two ten times to whisper
Burglars" into my ear! You got MT
off my guard.
But told you heard burglar il
the house
But | knew better! 1t was YOU
business to have been awake. sooner
and TO have given me chance to ge
the gun. ALI! if could have got that
gun"'
But YOU never even protested.
Protested! Protested! Do you
: think man of my stand ng is going tC
handy words with burglar? My &C
ton was taken with view to save
| your life."
, We'll. let go down and see what 5
left"
Not an inch would he move until
, daylight. and before we got ny