The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-09-29
A SHOPPING EXCURSION
De,rai, Free Prsss.


 "Yes,s replied Dusenherry, Aa ha glanced oomplacently at the packages spread upon his knees and on either side of him on the seat of the car.
 shopping ls terrible bore Co me, and nevor get anything right TO- marked tho stranger. "Yea had every item written down, I suppose"
 "Bless you, no !" protested Duson- berry. al would scorn to do that. It would be admitting 6 weakness In my mental structure. l have trained my self to depend entirely upon my mcm- ory. and thero isn't better, school for the memory than shopping excur- aion."
 "And do you think that you have everything that you were ordered to bring-the shade, the quality, the quantity, and all thatf"
 "Why, to be sure " declared Dusen. berry; "got such matters down real fine." s-~~~.~a
 "Then, sir. l envy you,s commented the stranger with sigh.
 When Dusenberry arrived at home with his parcels he could not make his boasting good. In tact, he had made terrible meas out oi his errand. His memory had played him falsely in every instance. His wife tried to he patient over It all, but she couldn't. There wasn't grace enough to offset the provooation.
 What have you hercS" she asked, catching at large package. "Haxel- nuts? didn't order any"
 "l guess they are nutmegs, my dear" Dusenberry said.
 "Nutmegs2" she almost screanled. "How manyf"
 "five pounds"
 "Oh, you simplotonl Five pounds of nutmcgs! told you to bring throe ounces"
 "Did you, my dearY Well, | thought there were good many nut megs, and they cost dreadfully."
 "What's this?" she asked. "A yard of sateen. l told you five yards of satin. This is of no earthly use to me"
 Cant you make bathing suit of it2" Dusenberry iaintly asked, 80 "rat- tied" that he really meant 1t.
 Her proportions were none of the most insignificant and 20 she irow ned fiercely upon him.
 "I don't see the Lyona velvet" she said. "No doubt you forgot It."
 "Maria, l didn't forget anything. They hadn't any"
 "What hadn't any2"
 "Yes, Maria. Lyons was dead or had gone out of business, or some thing of the kind, tho clerk aaid.r
 "Oh, Dusenberryw greaned she. "IIow can you get oil such an outra- geous yarn like thatp Sakes, alive, man, what do you call this9"
 "It Is hair pin, isn't it, my dear7"
 "One big, nngainly, horrid- looking hair pin, Oh, you parsimonious wretch What do 1 want with one hair pin5 The clerk must have thought you daft"
 "You said should bring you q coarse hair pin, Maria"
 "I didn't.s
 My dear, let Us not quarrel l-- but distinctly remember that you did"
 "Nonsense, Dusenbcrry. You've got the worst memory of any man svor knew. told you to write it all down, but you wouldn't. told you to bring me gross of hairpins. Not one coarse hair pin, but twelve dozen of them"
 "Oh, l sec" Dusenberry said, as he rubbed the end of his nose. "tiroas, coarse gross, twelve dozen. 1t wasn't a slip Of the memory, my dear. It was merely miscomprehension."
 His wife found fault with every purchase, and he felt deeply humiif- ated, and all the more 90 when he re. called his boastful speech to the strsn- ger. The last article nnwrappcd was bottle of castor oil.
 els this for yourself7" she asked.
 "No, my dear," replied he. "you told me to bring castor oil"
 "Ddsenberry, I didn't.n
 Maria, ] shall insist that you did. It's the last package, and surely one out of the lot ought to be right. Pm trying my best, my dear, to be pa- tient, but---r
 You're trying to be pstienti Oh, LOT! Pve two or three bottles of castor oil in the house. don't want any, and 1 didn't tell you to bring any"
 My dear, am willing to swear that you did" persisted Dusenberry. "You must allow me to depend some- what upon my memory. regret thst 1t has narrowed down to 6 question of veracity between us, and I'll try to be patient. It wAs the last order you gave me. I had already reached the street you were in the doorway you said to me--S
 "Yes, Dusenbcrry, remember"
 "Ah, l know you wouldi You had me down in the dust, but TOW I feel