The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1888-04-05
P0KEBERRY NOSE
The Old Gentleman Has a Strange
Experience.

LAptlltlCt.
"Haint seed me for sorae time. hey ve?o re- I
marked old P0kebgrry Nose, as be tUlselad into
the saucJum with an uncertain sep aud q wan
vlsager and began arranging the exchanges on Z
his iavOUite chair Some o. these here papers" +
he mUttcrcd, as he sorted out q few and tossed
them cOutemptu0usly on Jbe floor amt fl to
set on. They're so blamed FUN o. I've that they
burn holes in my trousers. There. now and
no settled himself ON the EUs,iiug pile Lord
jest hear my ole bones Crgak. They're WUssu
a sign that's been hdnEiu out for ~ year No
use o taikju', Pm CROWN ole; the peacb-likO
bloom o my doWny youth is Changiu slowly
changin -t0 husks an fodder. Say, whatd
ye thinkd become o me all this time? Did
yo think I'd gone to jine the angel lhrOug
Think I'd swept my ole fiddle for a golden
harp an Wuz tryIn' to .arn these fingers, which
We crowd crooked playiu' 'Ihe Arkausaw
Traveller an Money Musk 10 twang out All
Hail the Power Of Jesus's Name 2 Say2'
why, you iTrevereut old vaga bond, do you
suppose that such a sin-eucrusted old reproJatc
as you has any chance of being made an angelo
If you were purged aud washed seventy and
seven times there'd still be so much sin in you
that they wouldn't let you sit on the front steps
of Paradise
There yo 90 agIu, smarty layiu' y'solf wide
open by invitiu' comparisons. IF me am you
got to heaven at the same time an they didu
low me to git further than the doorstep, they'd
stop you out bout the h0ss- block"
AN right; let that pass. Where have you
been ali this time Frozen up in the blizzard?
Nav; I've he'd a taruatiou-sight wuss time
then ef I'd been ketched in q blizzard or struck
by toguady. I've been yoo10ged.'
N0odOOed? What nonsense. But tell me
all about it."
Send out an git some o. that plug fer
backer-same ez We had atore, an I VIII. tn
give ye some idee o. the time I've been haviu
when / tell yc that 1 hainl he'd q toothfuil o.
terbaCker or q dram O. Lkker in my mouth
scuCc | Wuz here last"
You must have been having Great Sahara
Of time. What was the reason? Saloons
quit trusting down your way"
" Nav I've bin having SIGH a comb0bbera-
ton that all appetite for Hkker an terbacker
went back on me. Fact"
We'll, that is wonderful Here's your dog
leg. Load up and tell me all about it,
" We see, some time ago l had q little diff
kitty with the ole niger forgot, I'm TO call
her a cullud lady ia future-what done my
washin'. / kin git along with less clean clothes
than Almost airy other man l know bein' nat
orally Of an ekiHOmikle disposition. but stIl [
must hev some, especially when 7 90 up to the
Department to see how my pintmeut is git
tin along. I owed her a little money; 'twsu't
much-0nly for what Washiu' I've had done
seuCe l came to Washington, three years ago,
to look a'ter a clerkshiD. She wuz the onrea-
s0nablest wench that | ever see. I tOIe her
time an agin that she oughter be glad Of the
opportunity o servin' a rale Southern gentle
man like me without money an without price,
for | wuz one of her material masters, an the
/ best friends her race he'd. But she wuz impe-
dent an ongTateful; said that didn't pay no
rent, nor buy no shoes an stockings, nor no
school books for her ChilIun. IL if I he'd any
IN 10 IN nil
/ did believe in dressin' niggers up; it makes
! EN- lazy an sassy, an ez for eddikatin' EN-,
/ nobody but a lOW-dOwn devil ever thinks o
sich a thing.
I got SO mad at her that turned her of.
an told her that I'd not let her do another lick
o work for me, even if she come an begged it
on her knees Instead o that briuCin' her to her
senses, an maxim her peuitent an 'umblc, she
got 5as5ler n ever, au akto0aIly talked o sum
me-a niger suin' me, a Kentucky gentleman
-atore Justice o the Peace. Then she come
back with the ugljest ole niger WeuCh that
ever laid eyes on in all my born days, an she
said
SO IS done bin to de Squire to sue ye for de
money dat ye owes me tor washIu yer ragged
ole shirts an he tOIe me I'd only loss my money
to sue ye, for yOu's execution proof Sos I cant
/ do nOthin wild ye by de law, I've come wild a
wise woman, who knows how to vO1doO. She's
InOre'n thousand year ole. Now, Onle5s ye
Glib me my money right In dis here hand, III
hev her put q spell on We that'N make ye wish
I y'd never been born, so l will Now, will We
pay me-
/ L tell ye I wuz skeered I'd heard lots
( bout yo0doOin an knowed a heap o people
/ who'd been give no end o trouble that-a-way,
/ but this wuz the first tine I'd ever see a rale
/ out-au'-out v00doOer, an my knees shook II
under me.
/ 80 VIII ye pay me dat cash right down in dis
{ hoo bgY. . Fes.T1 q 4a zF.
/ 80 Auuty,' SEE l. ez coaxin ez I could.
''DOn't ye call me no aunty,' she bust out {;
/ Is no kin o. yOuru, We mizzubIe white trash.
! Isa spectuhe cuilud lady. VIII We glib me
/ my spondoolicks?'
Think o me- Kaiutucky gentleman, right
/ from Dog Fenuel Crick, takin' sich sass from a
/ niger wench But 1 Wuz afeared O. my life,
/ truth when she said she wuz more'n "a thou
/ sand year ole-lOoked at me ez eff her eyes'd
/ burn holes right through me.
Misses Miggles,' l said, ez politely e5 eff
wuz speakin' to a Senator's wife, I haint
/ got a cent with me to-day. l hope L may drop
4 dead Of l hev. l expect to get my appint-
! ment-'
She turned away e. mad ez a wet hen. rs
heared all dat stuff jest once too often. 1 gives
/ We ObCT to be debbil.'
The ole hag-au' I'm ez sartain ez I am
/ alive that she wuz moTe'n q thousand year ole,
waved her crutCh over my bed, muubed some
/ thing, an spit on the floor three times an then
/ they both went away.
/ &" tried to make fun of it, but I could not,
| an l went out to git into company an forgit
/ it. I found some fricuds-Who, like me- are
waitin for clerkships or something-in a s'Ioon
4 south of Pennsylvania aveuoo, and jined 'em
[ in some socabIc games for the drinks. We
+ played kcards and drunk whisky until nigh -
/ o'clock, an Iuevcr he'd sich run o. the luck in
my life. Whenever l dealt myself good hand
/ I dealt the other felIers better ones and they
/ skuuked me, When / tried to slip jack from
| the bottom they ketched me every time, an
/ they out-counted me till I wuz sick at heart.
1 knoWed the yo0dOO wUz beginnin to work. All
the drinks WIZ scored up agin me, an when
asked the bar-keepeT to put 'em onto hissate he
/ brutality fell on me, an stamped me an kicked