davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record., 1888-11-14
A Dog at the Teiephone.

A good dog story comes from Manchester.
A bright witted girl telephoned to her father
at his Office, asking II her dog "Curly" was
there. Reply came that he was. "Well,
take him up In your arms and hold tho re-
ceiver to his ear; want TO tell him to come
home" said the girl Her father did 20. The
dogs countenance wore, inomentarily, a look
Of astonishment at hearing: "Come home,
Curly; come homel" In the feminine tones OF
his mistress, but it took him only an instant
to understand what was wanted, and, the
door Of the Office being opened, he made n
wild break for home a. fast az he could co.
Woburn Advertiser.
The Lambertville record., 1888-11-14

ThAL iprenrItv Axhitait4A l.. A. 1as.-----..
modes OF spelling quite common name 10
curiously illustrated In the following Incl
dent: A lumber dealer IN Minnesota, whose
given name was Isaac, had quito an extern
sive correspondence. His bookkeepsr made
a memorandum of every time his namo was
misspelled in letters directed to him, and the
list reads as follows; Isiac, Iisac, Icanck,
Iscac, Ysac, Isaag, Izic, Isiace, Icac, Isach,
Isle, 1slaac, Isaace, iceic, Isaas. Icks, Iaasic,
Aisec, Isaar, Iaasac, Iceic. Isaas, Isica, Iaac,
Iassac, FIX, I Sic. lssach, Isac, isck, Issace,
rssaace, Iseke. Issick, Isaak, Iisace, Isak,
Isaack, Icaac, Sick, Isich, Isaac, Issac,
Isace, Isoac, Isice, Isaic. That viii do for
Isaac, Chicago Herald.
The Lambertville record., 1888-11-14
Effects of Electric Light.

Electric prostration" may be called. new
disease Il troubles workers under electric
light Severe cases are reported from Creu-
sot, France, where an electric furnace Is used
for quickly heating metals The light ex-
ceeds 100, 900 candle power, and the men suffer
from 1t, not from the heat After one or two
hours the workers have a painful sensation In
the throat, face and temples, the skin be-
comes copper red, and an eye irritation boz
gins that lasts forty-eight hours, the dis
charge Of tears being copiousL after FIVE
days the skin pcels of. Dark colored glasses
somewhat mitigate tho effects Of this tre-
mendous light, but not entirely. New York
Sum
The Lambertville record., 1888-11-14
Part That Was Smoked.

Young Housekeeper to butcher)-Have
you nice beefi
Butcher-Yes, ma'am; killed only this
morning; it's hardly dead yet. What part
would you likef
Young Housekeeper-M husband said this
morning that he was fond of smoked beef.
You may send a cut of that.--Drake's Maga-
zine
The Lambertville record., 1888-11-14

There was an interesting scene In Alexan-
dria, Va, the other night. when the floor Of
q lodge room In which number Of colored
people who were being initiated into tho
order Of True Reformers fell through, precip-
itating tho candidates into dark room be-
low. A man who was asleep In the room be-
low was crushed, but the people who fol
through thought that the fall into the dark
mess was part Of tho initiatory ceremony,
and waited calmly for continuance OF the
ritss Boston Transcript.
The Lambertville record., 1888-11-14

Thoroughly cleanse the blood, which Is the
fountain Of health, by using DIR. Pierce's Gold
en- Medical Discovery, and good digestion, a
fair akin, buoyant spirits, and bodily health
and Tigor will be established.
Golden Medical Discovery cures all humors,
iron, the common pimple, blotch, or eruption,
to 9 worst Scrofula, or blo0d-pois0n. Es
peciAlly has It proven its efficacy in curing
Salt rheum or letter, Eczema, Eryaipelas
Fevs,g sores, Hip joint Disease. Scrofiilous
SonS and Swellngs, Enlarged Glands, Col
tre or Thick Neck. and Eating Sores or
Ulcers.
Golden Medical Discovery cures Consump-
ticn (which ts ScrofuIa Of the Lnngel, by its
wonderful blood purifying, invigorating,
and nutritive properties, If taken In time.
For Weak Lungs. Splitting of Blood, Short
ness OF Breath, Catarrh in the Head, Bron-
chitis, Severe Coughs, Asthma, and kindred
affections, 1t is q sovereign remedy. 1t
promptly cures the severest Coughs.
For Torpid Liver, Diliousness. or "Liver
Complaint" Dyspepsia, and indigestion, it Is
an uneqnaled remedy. Sold by druggists.
Price Sl0O, or sir bottles for $500
The Lambertville record., 1888-11-14
A seAsHoRE SECRET

Wind, you must never blow IT,
Drop lt deep IN your airy pockets
Stars, you must never show II,
Though you wtnked from your prying sockets
Sea, you must never tell It
When you rant to your grizzly beard
Waves, you must never spell lt
On the sand, what you saw and heard
Shells. you must never sound Il
When you pant on the leaning ear
Shore, you must not expound IL
What you compassed us round to hear.
Edward Abram Valentine
The Lambertville record., 1888-11-14
rbe Haunt. OF r,.et.rs..

German scientists have Just laid bare tho
latest haunts Of bacteria. The surfaces Of
coins are found 10 be coated with them, and
with species Characteristic Of putrsfaction.
Old bank notes and even new ones are alive
with micro organisms, which. in fact, would
seem To abound on all objects which are ex-
posed to frequent haudling. Chicago Her
IA
The Lambertville record., 1888-11-14
No suaIl f,hanoa.

Small change Is extremely scarce In Hon
duras, and In Q number Of villages. and even
In Tegucigaipa, It Is sometimes difficult TO
change q dollar. The sale Of articles, such
as food, cigars. ETC., Is made difficult or Inn
possible, as no small change exists. Chicago
Herald
The Lambertville record., 1888-11-14

Mamma" said little Mabel, who had Just
come homo from church, s'what made that
man In the corner say Amen 90 often whils
the preacher was talkingr
~ know" said Willie confidently.
"Weli, Wnlie,n said his mother, ''why is
itr'
ats way he has Of calling time on the
preacher. Merchants Traveller.
The Lambertville record., 1888-11-14
HIS Preference.

sof all seasons Of the year, DR.. Diagnosis
she said to Young physician who was help
ing her look at the moon, (which do you
most preferp'
~ think prefer the watermelon season.
he replied in a low business tone Of voice.
The Epoch.
The Lambertville record., 1888-11-14
Throug, fho suhurh.

Passenger--I think tho city we arc nearing
must be Chicago.
Another Passenger-Whyf
Passenger most Of the suburban
residences have cabbages planted In the
front yard.--The Epoch.
The Lambertville record., 1888-11-14
surveon and Au4bor.

DR.. Oliver Wendell Holmes has made moro
money az o surgeon than az an author. But
he viii be known to posterity as writer,
not as q man Of science.
The Lambertville record., 1888-11-14
A senaa of OBLIGATION.

Promise man favor and he will not for
get you. Grant it. and he will never for
give you. There are few things SO intoler-
able to proud or so irritating to q mean
nature az a sense Of obligation. Dom Piats.
The Lambertville record., 1888-11-14
yvo,n.r In Morocco.

Woman is q subject never mentioned Ia
Morocco. It would be terrible breach Of
etiqustte to ask q man after his wife or
wtYee.
The Lambertville record., 1888-11-14
Iovsst DEGRADATION.

The lifting Of mans self up In his own
opinion has had the credit in former ages to
Be thought the lowest degradation that hu-
man nature could well sink itself to.-Locke.
The Lambertville record., 1888-11-14

An agreement without consideration IL
void; note made on Sunday b void; con-
tracts made on Sunday cannot be enforced.
The Lambertville record., 1888-11-14
Tho Greatest bore OF An.

Though we hasten from the city
And seek GOODNESS by the sea,
There are evils still abounding
From which we cannot flee.
Worse, o, worse than torrid weather,
Which makes perspiration drip.
ls the man who's just from Europe,i
Full Of talk about his trip.
boston Courier.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-07-05
FOREIGN.

ELECTORS favorable to President Diaz
were chosen throughout Mexico, for the
election which occurs next Monday.
The Pope has declared himself OPP,
posed to Catholics participating in polir-
ical elections N Italy.
q TEE courts have re-issued an applica-
ton for summonses against Mr.. Mathew
for preventing meetings in Trafalgar
square.
4 THIEF stole valuables worth 100000
from the apartments of the Crown Prince
of Sweden, on Saturday night, making
good his escape.
PRESIDENT SALANoN, of the republic of
Heyti, has paid $4,000 to each of two
members of his cabinet to leave the
country forever. They had plotted his
overthrow but accepted the bride, and
will leave for new homes this week.
ST.. PETERsBURG.-The committee
on the price of corn recommended
that tax of half q copeck per pound be
levied on exported corn. The proposal
will be submitted to the imperial coun-
Gil.
A COLLISION at sea is reported between
the British steamer Tymo7th Castle and
the steamer Noordland, of the Red Star
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-07-05
CRIME.

Mrs. ROBINSON, the notorious poisoner
of SomeTyille, MASS, has been sentenced
to be hanged in the Cambridge Jail, No
vember 16.
AT Florence, Nd, ten year old negro
boy cut the throats of two children left
in his charge.
CHARLES A. PITCHER, the teller of the
Union Bank, of Providence, R. l., has alb
seconded with $450,000 in bonds and all
the cash in the vault.
IN desperate fight with moonshiners
near BlacksprIngs, Ark, Deputy .. S.
Marshal Trimmed was killed.
WALLACE MITCHELL, who had been
brought back from Trinidad, Col, was
lynched Tuesday night at Syracuse, Kas.
Mitehels crime was the murder of Oscar
Johnson, II years old, and the attempted
murder of the boys father, for money.
A coLoRED man named William Moore
outraged girl aged 16, at Charleston
Coles county, Ill, Saturday night, an
was subsequently arrested and locked
up. A mob of citizens assaulted and
broke into the jail, seized the prisoner
and hanged him on the projecting beam
of a water-tank near the railroad station.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-07-05
BOB'S TWIST AT THE CHURN.

Sound Advice TO Peddler OF Thermometers
Can't l sell you thermometer to-
oay!" inquired young man at the back
OF Texas farmhouse.
Whats them?" demanded a hoarse
voice from the echoing corridors of a
large Kitchen, and the manipulation of
that voice looked up in his shirt sleeves,
for though cold in the North, it is fire.
quenhy werm in Western Texas in Jan
uary.
Thermometers" answered the Youth.
What they good fur?"
They indicate the temperature"
What temperature?"
The temperature of the atmosphere
where they are located"
"Reg'Iate the weather, eh?"
No, they don'b exactly regulate the
weather; but they indicate it. In other
words, they tell just how hot or cold it is
by easy reference to graduated scale
running from 40 degrees below zero to
far above the boiling point"
Say, confound your picture, don't you
s'pose we know when we're cold or when
we're over-heatin' ourselves?"
eyes, certainly; but that is not the
idea. You know some seasons are hotter
or colder than others, and ofteutimes it
IS satisfaction to know how much they
vary"
"Well, darn your hide, eff I'm too warm
if emmy of US are too warm-oan't we
peel ourselves? Can't we shuck off every
last rag and go in swimmin'? Come,
now, what do you say to that, eh?"
'But there are other uses for reliable
thermometer. You make butter do you
not?"
eyes, sir; we churn once day regular.
We've made butter afore you was wean-
ed"
eyes; well, you may not have noticed
1t, but butter never comes until the cream
has reached q certain temperature. By
the application of one of thermometers
you can readily ascertain the exact tenn
perature of the cream, and"
"And let Bob stand around the room
idling away the time waiting for cream to
heat up? No, sir, it won't GO down, that
kind of argument won't. Bob's hired to
work, not to watch scientific rattIetrap,
and when the butter don't come l say TO
Bob, You keep on churnin,' and he shakes
her up for all shafts out. No, we don't
want none of your Thermometers. We
hain't got no use for 'em. You'd better
go hum and go to work, young man, afore
you get too cranky for this world.
shouldn't be bit surprised to see you 90
round here next summer with some kind
of contra psion to tell u5 to go in when
ii rains? Sure you haven't got some
thing TO tell US when it is sundown PIX.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-07-05
THE LATEST KILOGRAMS.
GENERAL NOTES,

GEORGE WILSON, the wife Murderer, was
hanged at Albion, n. Y, Wednesday.
HERMAN's plurality for congressman
from Oregon, was 7,407.
:. WHEAT harvest is progressing in soath-
ern Illinois. The yield is phenominal.
d. o. MILLS, of New York, proposes, at
a cost of 100000, to build training
school for male nurses.
GENERAL SHERIDAN continues to ill
prove. His physicians advise his re-
moval TO the ssashore as soon as his con-
dition iustifes it.
THE government IS trying lobster cul
ture on the Pacific coast. The first At
| lantic instaIment has been anchored at
| Santa Cruz.
! GOLD has been discovered along Bean
| Blossom Greek, in Brown county, Ind,
and farmers Whereabouts are DESERVING
their rural pursuits TO wash the sand for
| the precious metal.
REPRESENTATIVE of the Western iron
and steel manufacturers and their en-
/ pIoyes are in conference it Pittsburg, en-
deavoring to reach settlement of the
dispute about wages, which threatens q
general strike or lockout.
THE Vermont republican convention
| Wednesday, nominated Hon. w. P. Dill,
bingham for governor, Urban Woodbury.
for lieutenant governor, W. II. Dubois fol-
state treasurer, Charles W. Porter fol-
secretary of state and E. E. Powell fol
auditor.
HARRIET BEEoHER STOWE was rs years
of age on the 18th of June last. Her
home at Hartford Is within a stones
throw of the residences of Charles Dud
ley Warner and Mark Twain, and in g
modest cottage almost hidden from view
by vines and shrubs.
A DAzzLINGLY brilliant sphere about two
feet in diameter and emitting a myriad
OF sparks, descended to the ground dur
ing thunder storm in New York city the
other day. It exploded shortly afterward
with frightful report and number OF
people were badly scared.
A SPECIAL train from New York over
the Michigan Central road, bearing del.
egation of civil engineers en- route to the
convention at Milwaukee, made remark
ably fast time. Between Niagara Falls
and Detroit, squirt of 112 miles was
made in 10915 minutes, including two
stops.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-07-05

line, bound for New York from Antwerp
TO Tymouth, is in a sinking condition
at Southampton.
The opening of the Diet at Berlin was
little inferior in pomp and dignity to the
opening of the Reichstag. The heat was
so intense that Count Bocholtz tainted.
6THE Landstag, by unanimous vote to-
day agreed upon an address in reply to
King Williams speech. There was no
debate upon the motion for the adoption
of the reply. The members of the house,
upon separating, cheered the King.
THK National Zeitung says that the
Emperor's speech will fill the country with
confidence at the very outset OF his reign.
The Post says: "The Prussian people
will hear the royal words with grateful
hearts and VOW to the Emperor unshake-
able fidelity and devotion.
DISASTROUS fires are reported in SWe-
den. In the cities of Sundsvall and Umea
property valued at S5,000,000 has been
destroyed. In the country adjacent i'm
mense tracts of forest land have beer
burned over. A drouth has prevailed fol
long time, rendering the wood dry
Sundsvall has population of 5000 and
Umea has 5000.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-07-05
WASHINGTON.

In the senate the house amendments to
senate bridge bills were concurred in for
Muscatine, Iowa, and Clinton, Iowa.
The United States steamship Swatara
arrived in the Washington Navy Yard at
noon Wednesday from Norfolk for the
purpose of taking General Sheridan to
Nonquit, Mass.
The collections of internal revenue
during the first IL months of the fiscal
year were $5,428, 1857 more than collections
during the CORES ponding period of the
last fiscal year.
THE president has allowed the act to
authorize the Paris, Choctaw & Little
Rock railway company to construct and
operate railway, telegraph, aud telephone
lines through the Indian territory 30 be-
come law without his approval.
The secretary of state has officially
ter at Washington, to the case of the
American ship Bridgewater, unlawfully
seized by the customs officials of the Dom
inion of Canada year ago and de-
tanned at Shelbourne Is days.
IT is estimated at the treasury depart
$13,500,000 in the public debt during
June, and decrease of $112,900,O00 for
the fiscal year ended to-day. The total
receipts during the year are estimated
at $370,000,000, and the total expendi-
lures at $273,000,000, leaving a surplus of
| S97OOO.OOO,
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-07-05
FLOODS IN MEXICO.

The Loss of Life and Property Unprecedented.
City OF MExIoo-Dur1ng the past
ten days the table lands between
here and Zacatecas have been visited by
unprecedented rains. Every mountain
rivulet along the Central railway for
more than 2U0 miles has been converted
into destructive torrent, and the valleys
present the appearance of lakes. Many
cities and towns have been inundated and
Leon and Silao have been almost wholly
destroyed.
The houses destroyed as Leon, city of
100000 inhabitants, is placed at 2, 224, and
the homeless families number 1000. In
all 1, 800 lives were lost by the inundation.
Fully 1000 dead bodies have been recov-
cred. The houses were built of adobe
and when the levees broke away and the
floods swept about them they crumbIed
and fell, crushing and drowning the in
mates, many of them while sleeping. The
extent of the death and destruction
wrought is probably not parallelled in the
history of the great foundations of mNd-
ern history. The rain has ceased and the
floods are rapidly receding. Great efforts
are being made to relieve the sufferings
of the destitute.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-07-05
FIRES AND CASUALTIES.

THREE brick layers were killed by the
falling of a scaffolding at Kansas City.
A CONFEDERATION has almost destroyed
the village of Holbrook, Arizona; losses
about 100000.
RAINS undermined a bridge over a
stream near Texas, Ala, and caused the
wreck of a passenger train. The engi-
neer, fireman and two tramps were killed,
and several injured.
A FIRE in Belmont mine, in the north
ern part of California, burned the hoist
ng-works. James and William Reardon
and Joseph Hawkins imprisoned in the
mine, died from suffocation, and Andrew
Larson lost his life in attem pting to res
cue them.
Cora SoHENoK, little girl of Dayton,
Ohio, was burned by gasoline and died
in the greatest agony while praying for
her mamma and the doctor to save her
life till her papa returned from Europe.
ST.. PAUL.-By the burning of small
house occupied by Lad Burmeister and
| family, Tuesday morning, Burmeister's
thirteen year-old daughter and Mrs. Mag
gle Ross, relative from Chippewa Falls,
| Wis, were suffocated,
! -'IUEEnAV ovoIIAiS ob u - ClOCh q HISCh
occurred on the Pennsylvania Schuylkill
Valley railroad at Cable City, by which
six laborers were killed and four fatally
injured.
NJ Paso del Norte, Mex, across the
river from Ell Paso, Tex, the Mexican
freight depot, together with about seven
ty freight-cars, was consumed. A large
amount of freight was also burned. Loss
100000.
A GRAVEL train on the Pennsylvania
and Schuylkill Valley Road at Cable CITY,
Pa, crushed into freight, and of eleven
Hungarian work1uen, knogn only by
numbers, who were seated on the front
car, six were taken out of the wreck dead
and four were fatally hurt. The train
men saved their lives by jumping.
A THUNDERBoLT struck the Puritan Con-
gregational Church at Wilkesbarre, Pa,
Sunday evening while service was being
held, and many of the audience were pros
trated by the shock. Over dozen women
tainted from fright. A panic ensued,
but was allayed by the pastor calling
out Gear not; you are in Gods house."
The sacramentaI wine was used Jas a re-
storative. The church tower was badly
damaged.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-07-05

Young be hit nc side de head wild one
desc yare winter turnips, an has thought
an still does think, DAT one desc winter
turnlps ken be harder, wen it puts its
mine down ter hit den nuthin' I eber seed
an. de blame thing ant fifteen ter eat,
nohow. Hit me side de head wild it, he
did, an hut my feelin's an nv pride right
dar-yas, sab, an TO could 'spress mvse'f,
er hrudder dat ant nebber paid his
skrlpshhun to de church hit me oar wild
er ripe cucumber I does thing eff
oars er thing dat ken spatter erronn an
make Itself dissagreeabIe 1t is one deze
ripe cucumbers. Seeds stuck all ober err
shltS dat cos me fifty-fi' cents las fall.
wpz gWlne say suthiR' dar-yaA. / wuz
e"lne say suthin' right oar eff it hadn'ter
oeen fur ole BruddeT Pete Welsh"
W, mnat did he do?" the governor asked.
:" y he hit me wid er cabbage-stalk,
dats what he done. I did think dat l
neoer seed vegetables so plentiful in nv
DOT days. His me side the head wild or
cabbage stalk, an it Euz heavy. too.
Bout dis time got gusted, an loved ter
mersef dat l wuz gwine to omit dat
church, Gaze eff KANT git erlonc wild folks
without habbin' ter put up wild dem
'srltia' sinywations. Wy, Is dun. dat,s
all; Jas, an Is mighty glad ter know dat
ken go ODER an socyate wild dem Baptis'
widouth bringing de law down on me.
Much erbleeged ter yer fur yer kineness.
Good mawnip,' mars good mawn1n' sah.''
-Arkansaw Traveller.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-07-05
old HONESTY" TATE INDICTED.
Embezzlement the Only Crime That Could Be
Charged Against Him.

Embezzlement the Only Crime That Could Be
Charged Against Him.
LOUISVILLE, Ky.-The grand jury OF
the Franklin Circuit Court has returned
four indictments against James ". Tate,
late State Treasurer, for the crime en-
bezzlement. The total amount set out in
the Indictment is $404, 085.65, dating from
Jan. 1, 1878, to Jan, 1886, leaving the
period between 1885 and the time of
Tate's fight unprovided for. The Com
monwealth's attorney says no true bill
could be found against Tate for forgery
on the erasure of the amounts in mis- bank
pass book, as the bank book was his
private property and only memorandum
book, and that while the erasure was
made to perpetrate fraud on the 1nvestl-
eating officers, yet it can not in law be
called forgery. Embezzlement is not an
extraditable crime, and, as it Is now
known that the family of Mr.. Tate are in
communication with him, it is suppos q
they will soon entertain no fear in max
ing his whereabouts public. The court
fixed the bail at $4,000. The statutes
provide imprisonment in the penitentlary
from one TO ten years for embezzlement,
but it is hardly possible the fugitive will
ever return to the State to be
brought to trial fer his crime. The
civil suits by the commonwealth against
the sureties on the bonds are again be-
fore the court on amended petitions, but
no trial can be reached until the next
October term.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-07-05
A Soutb Carolina Towns Sensation.

CHARLESTON, S. C.-Alderson, town in
the upper part of the State, has been
much exercised over repeated efforts To
burn the town for several months past.
Detectives we're employed to investigate,
and yesterday they caused the arrest of
Mrs. NJ. E. Reese, who has been one Of
the most respected ladies of the place,
accusing her of the crime. Mrs. Reese
is connected with some Of the most
prominent families in the State. Her
arrest has produced a sensation. The
detectives say she is the aathor of all the
attempts to burn the town. They claim it
is due TO mania to see flames, and not
to any criminal intent. The sensation
was heightened this evening b. the arrest
of Gustav Frank, charged With an at
tempt to suborn witnesses in the case.
Frank is the detective who worked up
the recent insurance fraud cases in
Charleston. The friends and relatives of
Mrs. Reese will spare no money to secure
her acQuittal,