The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1888-04-13
FEMALE Gum-cHEwERs.
Bob Burdett's Eloquent Appeal 20 tn
Men Of America.

Men of America.
There is well-dressed, intelligent
looking. rather pretty woman. She
got on the train away back at Louis
lana, Mo. That was nearly four hours
ago. She was chewing a lump of
s.swee' gum when she got on the car
She has been chewing ever since.
She is working away at it now. She
is no child; she is forty years. If she is
day. But she wads and cru .hes and
champs that gum like boy of ten
She talks all the time. too Once in
awhile she hypenates long word with
a vigorous .'chaw." She punciuates
her sentences with that gum. She
gives one-sided. italic ''chaw" for q
comma a square. fat-sided smack
with the roof of her mouth for semi
colon. and when she makes full stop
she deftly tosses the wad from one
cheek TO The other with her prehensite
tongue. That woman jaws must be
made of steel II is maddening to see
them in the full play of talk and
.'chaw," but there is a strange fasci-
nation about it You can't
help watching her. although
see the premonitory symptoms of lock-
Jaw. But there is no danger. The
loek-Jaw has no show; il can't get q
chance for an opening. The woman
forces the fighting and her busy jaws
never rest for scco1d It is painful
to no:ice the desp rate efforts of her
companion. a poor. weak. frail man.
to get in word once in awhile He
isn't in it. at all. / don't know what
he wants to say. but Think he is trying
to give her his dying blessing. There.
he is stealthily putting something into
his mouth / can see that it Is not
gum" tn nix it is strychnine. Poor
man. he viii be happier in few hours
Either the strYchnine viii kill him or
that woman will talk herself to death
Women who chew gum should be
compelled to ride in the smoking car.
The habit may lack some of the disa-
greeable features of tobacco chewing.
but it is vastly more irritating B.
cause the man who chews tobacco does
stop sometimes. His Jaws ache and
grow tired, and he stops to rest
l And sometimes to breathe Aud
| to eat Aud to drink. But
the woman who chews gum
| in public stops for none of these triflcs-
She chews right along till her teeth
fall out. or by some terrific convuIsion
| of nature or act of Providence she
| swallows the gum Then she wres-s
| another wad from one of the children.
cracks on the steam until she has
| caught up lost time. and goes ahead
the rest of the day on schedule time.
with no stops for coal or water. The
..swee' gum habit is terrible bond
| age. Its victim loses certain sense
| of delieacy She doesn't care Row
| wide she opens her mouth. how many
times a second. nor how many people
| are looking at her in amazement sor-
row and pity. Her little children cry
for swee' gum, but the heartless
mother. hardened by long indulgence
in the terrible habit. will not divide
her quid with her wailing babes IL
| as it sometimes happens. after pro-
longed indulgence-that Is. after ;
steady chew for say four OF Eve
| months-exhausted nature g.ves way
and she is compelled TO rest her
paralyzed jaws for Eve or six
minutes, she will not even give
her quid to one of the children to keep
it warm for her She has secret
hiding place on the back of chair or
the head-board of the bed where she
pastes it. Sometimes. being thus sud-
denly deprived of the long accustomed
stimulaat, she dies before she can find
it again and her friends discover. all
too late. the cause of her death. dried
up again st the wan in some dark se-
eret nook. hard as pebble Oh. men
of Americal Men with human heartsi
Men with homes to defend and rent to
payi Brothers. sons. sorrowing fatsz'
ers and heart broken husbands. let rs
hasten to the rescus of our sisters.
our daughters. our wfvesi Let us
wrest the women of this fair land
from the grasp of this destroyer, or
let us. rather. wrest the destroyer
from the woman, If we have 70 break
her jaw in the attemptt-Buriet ts. ~
Brookiyn Eags-