The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-04-23
BRIGHT BITS.

HARLEM has q base ball club called 1.-THE
| Girls" 1t Is doubtless referred to as the Femi
nine.-Nor1tstol1n Herald.
Strawberries never are good until they are
cheap. Any boarding house keeper can tell you
that much.-Ne,c Orleans PicGyl1se.
WE know now what Adams last name was.
1t was Badeau. He was for a time the only
man, and yet he was not happy.-JWd0e.
WHO will have the last word" is the chief
| question to be decided at the National Woman
Suffrage Convention Minneapolis Journal
IT has been discovered that kisses-love
| kisses we mean-are full of electricity. Now we
know why old maids have always described
them as shocking .-BOStOn Courier.
HEALTH RESORTS are places where man s
| health goes when it leaves him. This is proven
| in the fact that the men who lose their health
generally go to such places TO get it back.-Pen-
Sdcotd Commercial
ETHELINDA-So you are really engaged, dearl
How on earth did you manage it?
Arabella-The calendar helped me. It's leap
year. cannot tell lie. did it with my little
ax.-EdSt End Bulletin.
MINIsTER-I understand that you do not be-
lieve that person is sufficiently punished on
theearth for his misdeeds?
NeighbOr-O, yes, do now; but didn't until
heard you preach YonkerS Statesman.
SUBJEcT-Can communicate with my wife in
the other worldy
Medium-Do you want to see her spiritY
Subiect-Great heavens, no. saw enough Of
1t while she was alive Washington Critic.
PATRICK BRADY boasts that he has worked in
a powder mill over thirty years, and has never
been killed once. Unless Patricks reputation
for veracity is in critical condition, his state
ment is likely to be credited-NorriSt0l0n Her
aid.
Coon BET TO HoLD-Dumley-B Brown wants
to bet 500 that in ten years more New York
will have population of over 2, 900, 900.
Robinson texcitedly)-Take him up Dumley,
take him up, and let me hold the money
Hdrper's BGzGr.
This is very strange, - remarked Billy Blven
| thoughtfuly after he had tasted the contents Of
his butter dish Very strange, indeed"
What is stranger"
THAT such delicate. pale butter should turn
| out to be so robust. "r-Merchdnt Traveller.
CIr1zEN-My wife and have both got cold,
doctor What ought we to take?
Physician-Fl axseed lemonade I generally
recommend,
Citizen-f Thanks how much will it beg
Physician-Fonr dollars, please; 81 apiece
| NetO Yofb Sun. Ia
DoUsrFUL PARTY Iafter partaking heartily Of
| the free lunch)-Gimrne glass of water,
please. -, .4-.
BartenderrDon't you feel little mean to call
| for water after eating all that free lunch?
Doubtful Party-Well, don't feel quite right.
That tripe, mister, amt what it ought to be-
The Epoch. W. c.
MINISTER Ito sick offlciaD-You are aware,
dear brother, that you are about to die?
Sick Oflcial-Yes; l am aware of it.
Minister-And do you feel that you can go
with resignation?
Sick Official-Yes; I'm going without resig-
nation. We die, you know, but we never resign.
-WdShingt0n Critic.
"Now JAMES, said the grocer to the new boy,
'our stock is first~class in every respect There
are no flies on it, and never will be, and you
mustn't hesitate TO crack it up to customers "
Then, James, profoul dly impressed, went to
wait on an old lady, who presently went out
without buying. what did she want james,"
inquired the grocer She asked me if we had
any fiy-paper | could recommend, and l said
yes, that there no flies our fly paper, an
never would be. "-Nelo York Sun.
BosToN DAME-If Mr.. Sullivan is going to retire
from the prize ring what are his plans for the
futureS
Editor Sporting Journal-Nothing decided
yet, madam.
81 wonder if he would accept a position in
private family?"
Possibly, if the job suits him"
We'll, want to engage him as a sort of
household messenger to carry orders from the
boudoir to the Kitchen Omaha World.