The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1888-02-15
BOWSER AND A BURGLAR.
THEIR MIDNIGHT MEETING DE-
SCR1BEp BY MRS. BoWsER.

gar tldTUl uC mas TeDlltus
'Boshl Burglars know what houses to
enter.n
"But we have something to steal.
Certainly we have, but no burglar is
going to enter a house when he knows
that the owner stands ready to shoot
the top of his head off. Don't you
worry about burglars. They all know
me, and know enough to keep away
from me-
Then Mr.. Bowser crossed his hands
under his coat tails and walked up and
down in such a self-satished way that 1
took courage Next day he brought
home the gun and the club, and as he
deposited them at the head of the bed
he exclaimed:
It's simply to give you more conf
dence; understands For my part I'd
give $500 to find burglar in my house"
That night, soon after midnight, l
heard something fall in the house, and
nudged MIR. Bowser into wakefulness and
told him of it.
"It's that internal old catl" he
growled in reply. You've got burg
lars on the brain, and l hope one will
comel"
Ten minutes passed, and l was sure l
heard some one creeping up stairs. ]
nudged Mr.. Bowser again and told him
so, but he replied:
"Mrs. Bowser, if you wake me up
again III go down town to sleep the re-
mainder OF the night. You can be
| lunatic on shorter notice than anybody l
ever heard of. Now go to sleep and-p
The reason he stopped there was lie.
Ian ..cIn nl -,
and stern voice exclaimed:
" If either one of you make move to
get up I'll blow your brains out!"
The burglar had come. Tne victim,
whose blood Mr.. Bowser was hungering
for, stood over us. The midnight
marauder, on whose lifeless clay the
Coroner was to sit, was ready to be ''sot'
on. | confess | was badly frightened,
but did not lose my senses. knew he
was there to rob, and that he had all the
advantage, and d not move finger.
"Come, old chap" continued the
burglar after a moment, 81 want your
services. Get out of thatl"
"Take all we have, but spare our
lives2" pleaded Mr. Bowser.
That's what I'm going to do, old
duffer Climb out o. that and hunt me
up your wealth."
With that he lighted the gas, sat down
on the edge of the bed, and MIR. Bowser
brought him both our watches, our Jew
elry, and the $500 hidden in the dresser.
| never saw Mr.. Bowser so obigng and
thoughtful He even rummaged the
dresser to find my last rhinestone pin,
and he said "Yes, sir" and "No, sir! Z"
10 that burglar with the greatest respect.
When everything of value up stairs had
been collected, the old man said:
Now, old double shns, wrap that
swag in towel and bring it down stairs
for mel"
"You won't kill him !" gasped.
"No, marm; | haven't the time to
spare for that. What's that gun and club
fOrln
"To defend ourselves from burglars. I
wish knew how to shoot"
Exactly ma'am, and l admire your
spunk Here's your watch and jewelry
back, and hope you'll pardon this in
trusion. Sorry you've got such an old
funk for husband. Come along, old
shingles"
Mr. Bowser mcekly followed him down
stairs, got out all our choice silver from
the safe found him basket to carry off
his plundcr and was then driven up
stairs while the burglar made Off Mr..
Bowser got into bed without a word,
and sat up and listened until l heard
the rascal go. Then | said:
"Well, Mr.. Bowser, you wanted burg
lars. We've had real, live one, and the
house is cleaned out"
"And who's to blame for itl Mrs Bow
ser, didn't believe you would ever dare
to speak to me againp
who's to blame Am 2"
"Who else can be2 Here for forty
consecutive nights you've XII, ked me
awake from two to ten times to whisper
Burglars = into my earl You got me
off my guard"
:" But told you heard a burglar in
the housen
"But | knew better 1t was your
business to have been awake sooner and
have given me chance to get the gun.
All if could have got that gun"
"But you never even protested
Protested! DO you think man of
my standing is going to handy words
with a burglar My acton was taken
with a view TO save your life
"Well, let's go down and see what's
left"
Not an inch would he move until day
light, and before we got up he promised
me silk dress not TO mention the affair.
No sooner had he swallowed his break
fast, however, than he posted oil to Po-
lice Headquarters and the newspapers,
and the result was a column article, with
the heads
"Terrifc Fight for Life A Burglar
Catches a Tartar-A Midnight Visitor
Flung Thro IN the Window-A Faint,
ing Wife and Cool Husband
"Mr. Bowser, did you tell 'em any
such yarn as that Z" | asked him, after
reading the account.
"Yarn Mrs. Bowser do you know
who you are talking to ~
But you never offered the least re-
sistance, aud you even suffered him to
call you names.
~ did, eh! You, lying there in
dead faint, knew all that went on, ell
Very well, Mrs. BrOwser; III send the
doctor up TO examine into your mental
condition. The strain has probably been
too much on you. Poor woman Poor
woman ."-Detr0H Fr,e Pres
The distinguishing point in one of the
counterfeit hundred dollar bank bills
floating al ont the country is black eve