The Washington critic., 1888-01-21
FLUTTERINGS.
Leaves Torn at Random From a 10
hemian Note Book.

Leaves Torn at Random From n Bo-
hemian Note Book.
Among the private claims now being
urged before Congress is one for James
Allgoner and another for Sampson Co
lioh. II is TO be hoped that James name
is not to be considered indicative of his
chances. Mr. Goliah ought TO be strong
in whatever he undertakes, Another
claim sets forth that Mr.. Pleasant Bum
pass ought to be reimbursed to the amount
of some 5000 for losses sustained duringthe
late war. 1t may be interesting, though,
perhaps, not significant to state that he
was cavalry officer.
-.
"You met n party of friends and had
little time last night2" remarked
young wife to her husband, who, not
withstandiug that he is married, likes to
have an occasional time with the boys.
Yes; how could you tell?"
~ smelled your breath when you came
in."
"You didn't have as gay a time as usual,
however, did your
mo; / can't say that did. How did
you know that?"
Because your silk hat was as sleek and
shiny when you got home as il was when
you started
.e.
Fair Mrs. Langtry, do not use
Cosmetics, 'twould be silly,
For well you know their time they lose,
Who try to paint the lily.
FOR SOCIETY RECITATfoNfsTs.
She stood at the bar of Justice,
Her visage was somewhat flushed,
And her general style betokened
That the growler had oft been rushed.
"Your name" said His Honor, sternly.
"Its Bridget O'Flynn, so it is;
Sure it's wun O. the best in Oireland-"
"And your age?" Faith, that's none
o yer biz"
The audience snorted and Uttered,
And the Jedge looked rather queer;
He coughed and he polished his glasses,
And said, "Tell us how you came here"
"Wen, Yer Honor, you see t'were this
way:
The saloons down in our ward
Have shut down on credit intirely,
An tonnes is almighty hard.
The bottle of liquor wor handy,
The barkeep wor now eres nigh,
So / reached out me hand an Oi TUX it
Fur Judge Oi were terrible dhry."
"Thirty days." said the Judge. "Thanks,
Yer Honor.
It's nate av yez maxim il short.
six months" he roared out, land ten
dollars.
This last for contempt of the court
Among the wealthy men residing in
this city is one whose liberality has made
him the prey Of the impecunious on more
than one occasion. About year ago he
received letter from small town in Ohio
saying, "Won't you please send me your
photograph. l have heard ofyou so often
that ! am very desirous of knowing you
better.n The gentleman, thinking that
the applicant was getting up some sort of
gallery, sent the photograph. A few
months later he received q letter, saying :
1.-THE photograph was received; am deeply
obliged. / would like to have something
more to remember you by. Couldn't you
send me watch and chain?"
This letter naturally met with no re-
sponse. A short time ago n third letter
was sent, which said modestly: ~ sup
pose you have forgotten Inc by this time
/ wrote you some time since, asking you to
send me a watch and chain. wish to re-
mind you that am still interested in your
career. Won't you please send me awatch
I've got cbain."
-.
An applicant for admission to the Gov
ernment service some time since was ap-
pointed watchman in the Pension Office
until something better could be done for
him. A friend who wished to see him
found him at his post of duty guarding the
east door. 'Tve done police duty in my
day." he remarked, as he cast disgusted
glance at the door, "but never was set te
watch door like that before. Just look
at that door. It's locked tight and 1 don't
know where in the mischief the key is;
and as if that wasn't enough, they've
nailed piece of plank clear across it, so
that it couldn't be budged with batter
ing ram: It's my business to stay here
nobody gets through that door without q
pass, and with the help of Providence
hope to do my duty" PHLIT.