Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1888-01-06
PTTH AND POINT


WHEN a singers throat is raw, you
can't expect her song to be well done.
A DOCTOR who speaks only one Ian
guage may yet understand a great many
tongues.
THERE is a good deal said about the
failure Of the potato crop but It is
mostly rot.
A TELLER dot hafe a mind on his
head must gif dot mind some bread
ind butter to keep it lifely.-CaFl
PrsizsL
IT was q church mouse shot full Of
holes that gave rise to the expression.
"As porous a church mOuse.-TerGs
/ SiJLiIIgs.
"THE sphere Of woman is to eIev ats
man, says a writer. True. no doubt.
yet the same might be said Of whisky
and dynamite.
A CIRCUS performer was once
knighted in England, says an exchange.
Did he become Lord Summerset p
Texas SiJtil1gs.
EVEN if 8 boy Is always Whistling AZ
want to be an angel, it Is Just as well
TO keep the preserved pears on the top
shelt-TeEas StttiHgs.
WEE-O doctor, Benjamin seems to
be wandering in his mind Doctor
(WhO knew Benjamin. Don't trouble
about that,-he can't go far.
A WESTERN chiropodist announces
his entrance into a town by a bill with
the caption, "See the corn-cutting hero
comes. YO7lkers Statesman.
a NAN who has been hanged can
very properly be used to point an argu-
ment for prohibition. 1t is a clear case
of "a drop too much. "-BOstOl5 Globe.
Two AIA1nIOUrHs' teeth have been
dug out Of a sand-pit in Omaha. They
haven't been claimed yet. Everybody
seems to be waiting for Hank White to
do it.
BLoBsoN says that Dumpsey is one
of the most generous men he ever saw.
He gives himself away almost every
time he opens his mouth. -BlLrliBgtO ton
Free Press.
THE newspapers are telling about a
Connecticut woman who had knit
twelve pairs Of stockings In two days.
We should Just like to know the au-
thor Of this yarn.
YES" sal Mrs. BascOm to her
neighbor, Mrs. POnsOnby, al always
did admire Deacon Samuels. He is
the most digniied looking man when
he is asleep that I ever saw"
AN English medical journal has Of
fered a prize to any one who discovers
the cause Of badness We do not know
how 1t is in England, but IN this coun-
try badness is generally caused by a
loss OF hair.-ATEGHSGI ITGUsler.
A VENERABLE Methodist minister is
authority for the statement that no
camp-meeting can be successful in a
location where there is fishing. The
average piOus fisherman is so given to
lying about his luck it is of no use for
him to pray and shout between the in
tervals of going out to the Shoals. D.
MaTthG's Vineyard Herald.
ONCE In a while those severe Boston
ians viii make joke that has a decid-
eddy Wild Western flavor about It. The
other day two gentlemen were discuss
ing the recent appointment of Mr..
George w. Gable as a Bible instructor
in Boston. 1T Is strange" said one,
That a novelist should be invited to
point ont the road to righteousness. "
Not so strange nowadays" replied the
other; Gable roads are becoming very
common. "-Nel0 York Tribune.
STORY OF THE BUsTLE.
Her ma said her boots were too high in the
But no OL46E style she would wear
One day while out walking she stepped ON a
peel
OF banana and uttaring an ear-pierciug squeal,
She rranricaly clutchsd at the air.
Her hustle was rubber, inflated, OF course,
The fashion prevailing to meet;
And it turned out to be Of her safety the
source
For when she sat down on the sidewalk with
force
She bounded right back to her feet
In the foregoing maidsns who stylish boots
This moral viii easily md
When sidewalks are 10y or out OF repair
A hustle Of rubber inflated with air
is handy to carry behind
-30gtgu Courier