Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1888-11-15

on this sublekt.
Esaw was nifty hunter, but whether
he kept houn, or followed the cent HIM
self, IL az ded and departed to us az the
chirp ov the fust reliable cricket.
We read that Esaw sold out hiz birth
rite for soup, and menny wonder at hiz
extravaganza but Esaw discovered arly
what menny a man haz discovered since
that it IL hard work tew live on ped
igree.
If l waz starving, l wouldn't hesitate
tew swap oph all the pedigree had, and
all mi relashuns had, for quart ov pot
tage, and throw two CRATE grandfathers
into the bargain.
But don't intend this essa for dogs in
the lump, but for the individual yaller
dog himself.
The yaller dog has no pedigree; the
blood in hiz veins il as krude az petro-
leum when it fust Gums pumping out of
the earth, bitter, thick and fiery.
He IL long, and lazily put together, hiz
ears flop when he shambles along the
dusty thoroughfare, and hiz tail is bur
den.
Thare is no animation in yaller dogs
tail ; it is useless; the flies amt even
afraid of it; it is wus than a 10 per cent.
mortgage tew the rest ov his boldly.
Viii the yaller dog amt born diskount-
ed is a mystery tew me; but when | ask
miself "Whare would yu hitch the tin
pan to ?" then at once the folly of bob
tailed yaller dog flashes on mi mind.
Ever since this kontinent waz found bi
Christopher Columbus, in 1892, and, for
what l kno, much time previous tew that,
the yaller dog haz been vagrant, trav-
cling bi moon lite, and hungry bi natur.
WHARF he Gums from, nobody seems
to know; and if yu speak a kind word
tew him, he thinks it a xix in disguise,
and straddling his tail with both hind
legs, he goes suspicious and sideways on
his lonesum journey.
Mankind have made him a vagabond,
and life tew him is made up ov starva-
shun and brickbats.
If he Gums out ov his lurking place in
the hot ov August, he is "mad dog" and
the common council at once assemble,
the riot act is read, 80 dollars reward is
offered, men cum painting into town crieing
mad dog" their two horse Wagon waz
bit that morning bi yaller dog, the fury
RACES, old guns are kleaned up, the can
non is run out on the village green, danes
talk to danes of the the awful event,
men look sober and defiant, boys pocket
their marbles in the midst Of the game,
pigs run squealing to their novels, and
and the whole boldly polilik surges with
horror.
The poor, innocent whelp haz done hiz
worst; and while a whole village is in the
extacys ov hydrophobia, he has passed
on, and may be seen tugging away in the
suburbs at the shin bone Of a departed
omnibus hoss.
The yaller dog haz but one friend
among men, and that is the darkey
A common misfortune links them To-
gether.
Why is it that the old negro and his
yaller dog are vagabonds on the face Of
the earth?
Mans inhumanity is wuss than the
malice Of wild beasts.
A day ov reckoning will come, n day
ov judgment; and l kant tell but that
the yaller dog will be thare, a mute Wit
ness, and then and thare will the CRATE
problem be solved.
This world is phull oy CRATE wrongs,
and the next one will az certainly be az
phull ov CRATE retribushuns.
l kant endure the sight ov oppreshun
it disgraces mi manhood. If | had mo-
ney enuif, I would like tew buy even all
the yaller dogs there is now on the buzzum
Of the earth, and make them respekted
and happy.
But hain't got the money, nor never
shall hay; but az long az hav strength
tew steer a goose quill, and blood enuf'
in mi heart for ink, will bid mankind
beware ov oppression, don't kare wheth
er it IS in hi places or low, the oppreshun
ov caste, the oppreshun ov wealth, or even
the low and degrading oppression ov
tin pale in hot pursuit ov the friendless,
yelping yaller dog.
Yaller dogs will sumtime and sumwhare
hav their day and when the huge piles
of brickbats and mountains of old tin
ware Gums into court, want tew be thare.
for l am anxious to kno what the line ov
defense will be.