davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-09-23
EVARTS' HUMOR.
The Two Products of His Pen For
Wardeu to Bancroft.


Hon. William NJ. Evarts, writes Eli
Perkins, is the only man except Chaun-
cey Depew who can be witty and not
lose his dignity. Mr.. EYartS sat at our
table at the States yesterday. A mong
other things l asked the great lawyer
about some of the wtticismS which
have been attributed to him. THE best
thing the newspapers said l perpe-
trated," replied Mr.. EVarts, 81 wasn't
guilty of at ALL" ''What was that" [
asked. sit happened when | was sec
rotary of state. Every morning the state
department elevator came up full of ap-
plicantS for foreign missions. One morn
ing, when the list of applicants for mis-
siCns was extremely large, Catiln,
the Commercial Advertiser humOrist,
remarked: That is the largest collec-
ton for foreign missions you've had
yet The newspapers attributed the
saying to me, but Catlin was the real
criminal" AFTER that you sent poor
Catlin out of the country, didn't YOU"
"Oh, no: | rewarded him by making
HIM consul at GlaSgOw-and afterwards
promoted him." Speaking of Mr..
Eyarts' farm up at Windsor l told him
l understood that he raised a large
quantity of pigs for the express pur-
pose of sending barrels of pig pork to
his friends. Yes; | am guilty of that"
said Mr.. Evarts. 1--we been sending
Bancroft pig pork for years, and, If his
History of America is successful, it will
be largely due to my PEN" A few years
ago Mr. Evarts sent his usual barrel Of
picked pig pork to Bancroft, with this
letter:
Dear Bancroft: am very glad to send you
two products of my pen to-day-a barrel of
picked pig pork and my Eulogy on Chief
Justice Chase. Yours, EyARTs.
Chauncey Depew says: ''Evarts once
sent donkey up TO his Windsor farm
in Vermont. A week afterwards he
received the following letter from his
little grandchild:
Dear Grandpa: The little donkey is very
gentle, but he makes big noise nights. He
is very lonesome. | guess he misses you.
/ hope you will come up soon; then he won't
be so lonesome. MINNIE.
Evarts says when the Baptists came to
Rhode Island they praised God and fell
on their knees; then they fell on the
aAorigi-nese. When ! asked the ex-
secretary about the settlement of Rhode
Island, he said, Yes, the Dutch
settled Rhode Island; then the Yankees
settled the Dutch.''
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-09-23
ST. ANTHONY PARK.

President Van Slyke, of the park
commissioners, together with MIR.
Nichols, the landscape artist, and Hon.
r. V. Pratt, looked over the parks Fri
day. Plans will be at once drawn up
for the improvement of Langford park.
Mrs. J. A. Standen, after long and
serious illness, is again able to be out.
She will move into her new residence
OH Bayless avenue west next week.
A merry party of Park people at
tended the Exposition Friday evening
to hear Cappa's famous band render
the Battle of Gettysburg"
Mrs. Dr. Brigham, of st. Cloud, and
Rev. and Mrs. Chandler, of Lakeland,
are guests of Mrs. j. III. Chandler at
the parsonage.
W. J. Doherty and. family, of Chi
cagO. have moved into the large house
corner of Wheeler street and Bradford
court.
Prof. Greene, of the State agricult-
ural college, has received an offer from
the Missouri State Agricultural college.
The local w. C. II. u. have decided
to open free reading room corner OF
Hampden avenue and Bradford street.
Mrs. Ellsworth and daughters, of
Chippewa Falls. are guests of Mrs. a.
G. Bruce on Langford Park.
The literary circle met Friday after
noon at the residence of Mrs. Marsh, on
BayleSS avenue east.
Miss Mamie O'Brien was pleasantly
surprised by her friends from st. Paul
Friday evening.
w. w. Phelps, formerly of Eagle
Lake, has moved into his residence on
Sidney avenue
The Chautauqua Circle will meet at c.
II. Cannon's, on Pratt avenue, Tuesday
evening.
c. NJ. Burdie, Esq, has moved into
one of the new residences on Everett
street.
Theo c. G. Phillips, of Chicago, is the
quest of Mrs. E. c. Hall. of Bayless av-
enue.
Miss Sue Bushnell is the guest of
Mrs. NJ. b. Whitney, on Cromwell ave-
nue..
Miss Emma Knapp is the guest Of
Mrs. ID. G. Martin, Oh Cudworth street.
p. d. Hall and family have removed
to Tacoma, w. II.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-09-23
The Raglan STYLE.

As to wraps, the long Raglan style
will be most popular, but jackets are
still a favOrite. Small yisites of silk
and jet or velvet and jet are shown for
evening wear. There is considerable
grumbling among the ladies that some
of the most expensive ladies' tailOrs do
not give fits" After paying their ex-
orbitant demands the costume is found
to have as many defects as though made
by SecOnd-claSS dreSSmaker, who would
not have charged third as much. This
is largely the fault of the weaker of the
far sex, who tremble before these auto
Gratis of fashion as they would not think
of trembling before the autOcrat of all
the Russias. The only remedy for these
dissatisfied patrons of Redfern and his
brethren is TO know for themselves
when thing is right and to insist upon
the garment being made perfectly sat
isfactOry before it is taken out of the
shop or the bill is paid. Those women
whose fits" are the wonder and admi-
ration of their own sex are always
women who have a thorough knowledge
of the art of dress, and decision of char
acter enough not to be intimidated by
man whose self-importance is daily in
creased by the respect paid his name
embroidered on the inside of a coat col
lar.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-09-23
PERSONAL MENTION.

A prominent event in local musical
circles will be the complimentary con-
cert to Miss Carrie B. Burtis at Wood
land Park Baptist church Thursday
evening Oct. 4. An interesting pro-
gramme will be rendered by the best
musical talent in the city.
Mrs. Frederic Fitch, licentiate of the
Royal Academy of Music, and of the
Guild hall school of music, London,
England, is visiting Mrs. Charles De
Lacy.
Dr.. J. H. Bryant and daughter, Miss
Dora. have arrived at Los Angeles, Cal,
whittier they had been preceded by
Mrs. Bryant and daughters.
Mr.. and Mrs. A. l.. Larpenteur, who
have been visiting their daughter, Mrs.
John Z. Suffer. Of South Bend, Ind,
have returned home.
Miss Studebaker, who has been visit
ing Miss Stickney, of Summit avenue,
left for Chicago Tuesday, accompanied
by Miss Stickney.
The Ivy Leaf Dancing club will give
their first social dancing party this
season at Society hall, Drake block,
next Friday eveing.
The Misses Polite and Addie Zaiser,
of Fergus Falls, who have been visiting
Miss Hattie Breslauer, returned home
Wednesday.
Mr.. Clendening and Mr.. Chandler,
two Philadelphia bankers, spent
Wednesday and Thursday looking over
the city.
Mrs. Kittelle, of Rock Island, will
spend the winter with her daughter.
Mrs. w. r. Williams, of West Third
street.
Miss Townsend. of New York, who
has been visiting Mrs. Fremont, of
Fort Smelling, will return home to-mOr-
row.
The Misses AntiStell, of Milwaukee,
have been visiting Miss Auerbach, of
Summit avenue, during the past week.
Mrs. Henry p. Barbour is entertain
ing Miss HObletyell, of San Francisco,
at her home, 65 West College avenue.
Mrs. NJ. Z. Sayer and daughter. Maud,
of Canandaiyna, n. Y, are visiting Mrs.
j. H. Watson, of West Third street.
Miss Mamie Hensel has returned
home. after three months visit among
friends and relatives in the East.
Mrs. Francis Barbeau and son have
| returned from Montreal, where they
have been visiting friends.
Miss Gates and Miss Castle returned
! home last Thursday after a months
visit in Quincy, Ill.
Miss Margaret Franklin left for Lake
City Friday, where she will attend the
UrSuline convent.
ID. NJ. Campbell and wife, of Oshkosh,
are the guests of Dr.. and Mrs. Davis, of
Sherman street.
Miss K. E. Mccarthy, of New York,
is the guest of her cousin, Miss Nora
Redding.
Miss Lille Huelster, of Faribault, is
visiting Mrs. Rochat, of West Third
street.
Miss Callahan. of Detroit, Mich, is
visiting Mrs. +. e. Barnard, of this city.
Mr.. and Mrs. S. H. Hart will be at
home after Oct. at PAS Dayton avenue.
The Misses Nolan have returned to
their home in Cincinnati.
Miss Emily Ditman left Thursday for
| New York city.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-09-23
A REBUKE FROM BILL HYE.
The Vermont Parson Who Sought to
Entrap Him.
SPECIMENS OF ANTIQUE WIT.
Many a Joke Has Sprung Up From the
Low Ground Of Sor-
row.
New York World.

New York World.
The following, regret to state, is a
bona fide letter, which, after censulta-
ton with an eminent clergyman, and
his advice by all means to print, have
decided to give the public, together
with reply to the same:
Bill Nye, Esq.-Dear Bill: 1 am a
small humoriSt in my own quiet, I'M
adorned way, but my position as cler-
gyman makes it impossible to realize
upon my talent. Seeing, moreover,
that present cash is more necessary to
me than posthumouS fame, L had
thought it might be possible for me to
effect an arrangement with you
that would be agreeable to US
both. / give you what raw
material can and you work the same
up into one of your beautiful textile
fabrications and pay me anything you
think it is worth. A retentive memory
has enabled me to keep some thousands
of reasonably rich and racy faceti& and
actual occurrences quite droll, and
whose publication | am sure would fill
a lOng-felt want. l am sure they would
ii they brought me any money.
| think the present arrangement |
suggest would be justified by my pow
erty and your prominence. If happen
to send you a good thing your publica-
latiOn and highest possible price, etc.
bar to my success in the ministry. On
itself to you. Fraternally.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-09-23
A STATELY SWEETHEART.

A pretty Boston school ma'am
And a youth of mien sedate
Were parting in the evening,
Beside the garden gate.
His hand and heart he'd offered
In a grave and sober way,
And she with quiet dignity
Had named the happy day.
He fingered at the gate with her
And said in accents low:
''There is little favor
would ask before go.
"a favor never asked before;
Sweet maiden, it is this,
A lovers privilege, that is all,
A sweet betroihal kiss"
''lf you wait" the maiden whispered,
With her color rising high,
'1'ill | remove my spectacieS
I'll willingly comply"
Boston Courier
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-09-23
NOW THAT SUMMER is PAST,
And the Season of Dust and Dirt
Is Over

You, no doubt, will find when removing
the covering from your furniture that
the upholstering is more Or less worn,
and has a.seedy appearance. If so, it is
advisable to call on Peter Eiswirth &
Son, 80 West Seventh street, for they
carry an unlimited and varied stock of
Cloths, Pushes. ETC., for UphOIstering
purposes, and can make your furniture
appear new at very small expense.
This house carries large line of rich
Upholstered Furniture also makes Fur
niture to order, as we'll as General Re-
pair business. If in the vicinity of their
store, you should not fail to visit them
and look at the numerous nice things
they have in stock to brighten your
home.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-09-23
Saved For the Regular Boarders

Philadelphia Times.
A traveller who returned from two
weeks vacation among the Maine water
ing places relates an amusing incident
that occurred at small New England
hotel where he CHANGED to stop for day
or two while journeying to Bar Harbor.
The hotel was a small one, and the
principal person in charge of the
office was the daughter of the pro-
prietor, buXom lass of prob
ably twenty summers. When the
morning of departure came this fair
Diana presented the hotel bill to the
traveller, and it so happened that nei-
ther of them could change a note which
was rendered in payment. In gallant
way the traveller, who had something
of the don Juan" in his nature, al
though he did live on Walnut street,
smilingly offered to kiss the young lady
and let the change go. She drew her
self up haughtiIy. 'I'd like you to
know, sir, that in this hotel we don't
kiss transients," she replied, in freez-
ing tones. "Such a privilege is only
given to permanent boarders. Will you
take prospectus for next season."
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-09-23
ADMIRER OF sHAKEsPEARE.
How a Southern Darkey Appre-
ciated the Immortal Bard.

Grated the immortal Baru.
New York Sun.
Harry Kernell tells story about his
recent trip South. He was at dinner in
Mississippi hotel when he suddenly
discovered that he was being waited
upon by tall, majestic and remarkably
fine-loOking colored girl. She was auto
cratic. exclusive and supercilious to
remarkable extent, but finally Mr.. Ker-
nell succeeded in winning her con-
fidence, and they started in to con-
verse.
Wouldn't you like to come over to
the theater tonight" said the actor,
putting some more sugar in his coffee
and reaching over for the corn bread.
''V'riety show, isn't it?''
"Well. yes" said Mr.. Kernel, 81 be-
lieve So"
mo. sah," said the girl, sedately.
"Don' like v'riety shows. DeY bore
me-"
what sort of shows do you lilze?"
swell, can't say L care much fob
theaters, any how. Seems mighty silly
foh people to run around the stage try
ing to make themselves believe they're
funny"
II Should think Mary Anderson might
please you, then?"
mo, sir; don't care foh Miss Ander-
son, She looks too much like syca-
more tree-like sycamore tree waYin'
lis long limbs in the winter time"
''DO you like Oliver DOud ByrOn?"
mo sab; he boreS me, too. He's one
of those wretched creatures that thinks
it's funny to shoot Off guns and things
on the stage. No, don't care fob Mis-
ter Byron"
What do you think of Fanny Daven-
port?''
miss Davenport" said the waitress,
languidly. ''wearieS me, too. She al
ways has some wretched lover that she
is trying to die for on the stage. The
fact is, as | said befoh, play-actors bore
me; but when one of Mistah William
Shakespeare's plays comes along here
they have to chain me to the tlo.'
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-09-23
AT THE PLAY.

A box party composed of May Bates
and Mesdames Bates and Auerbach,
the Misses Antisdel. of Milwaukee, and
l.. Z. Newport and Charles Jordan
were at the Peoples Tuesday night.
Several box parties made up of Mr..
and Mrs. w. S. Morton. Mr. and Mrs.
f. B. Clark and Mr.. and Mrs. f. J.
Frost and party witnessed Hamlet Fri
day evening at the Grand.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-09-23

others a miniature which attracted
Gives attention. One day after the
English mail had arrived Give asked
Maskeleyne if he had received any
English letters, adding: 1--WE have
been very much misunderstood at home
and much censured in English cir
cles." Maskeleyne replied that he had,
and read to his friend letter he then
held in his hand. a day or two after
ward Give came back to ask to have the
letter read to him again. WHO is the
writer?" inquired Give. MY sister,"
was the reply; my sister whose minia-
ture hangs there rs it faithful
representation" further asked Give.
lit is" replied Maskeleyne, ''Of her
face and form; but it is unequal to rep
resent the excellence of her mind and
character" ''Well, Maskeeyne," said
Give, taking him by the hand, you
know me well, and can speak of me as |
really am. Do you think that girl could
be induced to come to India and marry
me? In the present state of affairs l
dare not hope to be able to go to Eng
land" Maskeleype wrote home, and so
recommended Gives suit that the lady
acquesced, went to India, and in 1853
was married at Madras to Give, then
rising to the highest distinction.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-09-23
Kent His Promise.

Binghamton Republican.
''Be mine." he cried with voice sur
charged with anguish. IF you refuse
me L shall die" That was forty years
ago. and the heartless girl refused him.
Yesterday he died. Girls, beware!
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-09-23
How Lord Give Won His Wife.

BOUT the middle
of the last century
a young ca d g t
named Maskeleyne
went to India, where
he became acquaint-
ed with Lord Give.
The acquaintance
ripened into init
mate friendship and
led to constant as
ISOLATION. L h ere
hung up in Maske-
leyne'S room several
NO y. 4 n.oitc an1nt Or
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-06-16
Too Much supposing for sambo.

A woman on Lafayette Street East rushGd
out the other day and informed a policeman
that she had seon big dog crawl under her
barn, and she believed the animal mad. The
officer went around by the way of the alley,
accompanied by the usual crowd, and after
peeking and pcering for some time he shot
three bullets under the barn to scare the
dog out After the third shot a movement
was heard, and presently the long end of a
colored man crawled into view. Alter back
ing ont and brushing the dht out of his eyes
he added:
"Was it mo you was shooting at9"
81 supposed it was dog under there, VI
replied the officer.
s'Wall, sab, doan' you nebber 'spose nc
mo-! It's dangerous"
And he showed bullet hole in his cal
another in his coat as proofs of the accurac.
of the officers aim. He had crawled unde
after a rabbit which had escaped from
neighbor.
"Its all right" he said, as the Office
apologized, 'but doan' you 'Spose no mo
You jist keep right down to cool facts. Di
'sposin' around ar what gifts pussons int
serus truble."
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-06-16
Too Late! Too Late!

A mother, whose child had died suddenly
was so entirely prostrated with grief that
some Of the too officious friends asked her
to consider If her sufferings were greater
than that Of other who had lost friends.
"oh, 1t Is not the same, it isInot the samer'
ahe oriod. "My little girl was different from
other children she was 30 loving! She used
70 come to me and beg me to kiss her, or take
her In my lap for minute, and sometimes
was busy and told her to run away and
play.
al hurt her little heart made il shut
up It's little leaves when it ought to have
been oosIed open by the sunshine. l shall
neres shall forgive myself.''
She never did forgive herself, and though
she was almost pathetically loving to the
children who were left, no lapse Of time
could ever erase from her mind the memory
Of that little girl who was hungry for love. ),
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-06-16
THE CHICAGO
NORTH WESTERN RAILWAY

The following is an extract from the
official circular designating Route selected (:
Tho undersigned, Directors of the Ma
tional Educational Association, having been
constituted acommittee to arrange for trans.
poltation from the States of Pennsylvania
New Jersey, Delaware, Maryland, and the
District oil Columbia, make the following
announcement:
|. The City of Chicago is designated as
the point at which the tourists Of the terri
tory named are advised to gather.
II. The route designated from Chicago to
San Francisco is over THE CHICAGO AND
NORTH WESTERN RAILWAY TO
COUNCIL BLUFFS-The Union Pacific
Railway from Council Bluffs to Denver and
Ogden, including Salt Lake City and return
from Ogden to San Francisco. Those desir-
ing may select the Denver and Rio Grande
R. R. between Denver and Ogdeu-either
going or returning. The Chicago and North
Western Railway ticket allows return via
Council Bluffs, Kansas City OF St. Paul
Respectfully,
J. ". HoLCoMBE, chm, Washington. D. G.
E. o. LYTE, Milersvile, Pa.
GEo. H. STOUT, 332l Chestnut St., rhiIa
joseph CLARK, Newark, N. ].
ID. W. HARLhS. Wilmington, Del
HENRY A. WISE, Baltimore, Md
z. RICHARDS, Washington, d. G.
Send in your names to the nearest member
Of this committee
Maps, time tables, etc., cheorfully sent on
application.
II. A. GROSS,
Passenger Agent C. & N. W. Railway.
30 Centre Square, Lancaster, Pa
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-06-16
Medicinal value of Alcohol,

The Quarterly J0arnal of LqeJriety saws.
THE medicinal value OF alcohol is slowly
vanishing Here are fects from England
and Wales There are twcnty-seven work.
houses where iutoxicants are not at all al
lowed. The experience of doctors in these
has proved the use of alcohol unnecessary
In 1871 the total cost of intoxicants used in
workhouses and iufirmsries amounted to
$50, 554. in 1881 it amounted to eco, sO3. and
In 1885 was reduced to e44,s2O. The most
marked featore of progress toward sobriety
in England is this decrca.e OF intoxicapts in
warehouses. There has been reduction of
more than twenty five per cent. in four years
past, and Of fOrty-tive Ier cent. in the last
fifteen years"
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-06-16
Tourist and Pleasure Travel.


Parties planning summer trip, should
remember not to forget the Great Rock
Island Route is the only line that runs Fast
Limited Yestibule Express Trains of Palace
Cars daily each way) between Chicago and
Council Bluffs Omaha--on the direct high
way of transcontinental travel. Ronnd-
trip tourist tickets at greatly reduced rates,
include the paramount advantages of this
Vestibule Train (the fiuest in the world) to
and from points in Colorado, Utah, Idaho,
Montana, and Wyoming. Sales every day
during the season of 1888. Round-trip
tickets also Cat similar low rates) to and
from Colfax Springs, Spirit Lake, Lake
Minuetonka, and other popular resorts less
remote, as we'll as hundreds of localities oi
interest to artist, sportsman, tourist and in
valid.
The Great Rock Island assures to all hold
ing its Round-Trip Tourist Tickets the safes
speediest and pleasantest journey imaginable
in it's magnificent vestibule trains between
Chicago and Rock Island, Davenport, De
Moines and Council Bluffs, either goinl
West or coming East. Avoid, therefore
the discomforts of lines having inferior ac
comodations. See that your ticket (whic
costs no more) reads via the Chicago, Roc
Island aud Pacific Railway, and enjoy tn
luxuries of frst-class travel,
For further information address A.
r Farnsworth, General Eastern PassengC
+ Agent, 257 Broadway, N. Y.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-06-16

the Chancellersvlle Campaign; and note
on the Strength of the Confederate Army
at Chickamauga."
The "Topics of the Time" are entitled,
"Shall Fortunes Be Limited by Law"
president or King ?" and "Postal Savings
Banks" In "opeu Letters there are two
contributions on the Diplomatic Service; one
on "NIoral Teaching in Oar Schools; ant
others on "Christian Union," and "Th'
] 'Ach ! School of literature"
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-06-16
GO AS YOU PLEASE.

IL pedestrian you can walk and it will
pay you. If you prefer to ride you will save
more than car fare. Go as you please, but
go to 206 Market st., above Second. See
the display of Footwear for every purpose.
Three desirable grades of mems Congress
and Hook Lace Sb@s.
See our incompatible SO 90 Shoe.
See our unsurpassed So so Shoe.
See our can't be beat So 90 Shoe.
Each the best at the price and you will
say so when you see them.
Three desirable grades of Ladies' Kid
Button Boots.
| See our Kid Boots at So 90, worth $4.O0.
See our Kid Boots at $3.50, usus.l price
1895.
See our Kid Boots at $500, sold Else
where foe S2.75.
Several bargains lots of Boys Shoes.
Money refunded for any purchase not salts
factory.
THE FAMILY SHOE HOUSE.
No. 2O5 Market Street,
Above Second, Wilmington.
VIM. III. BABCOCK.