The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-30
BRIGHT BITS

IT hurts man inst about as much to burn
him in efflgy as TO have his shadow on wall
butted by goat.-Toiedo Blade.
EVEN if praying always did bring rain, some
people we all know of would never need to buy
an umbrella.-SomerUile Journal.
MAN does not compliment you when be
gives you some slanderous. dsagreeable in
formation and says: Il Thought you would
like to know il. "-Picdyltne.
MERcHANT-well, my dear, made an assign
ment this forenoon.
Wife-That's good and now Clara can go to
boarding school can't shes-Jrd9e.
ToM-Do you know, Jack, that woodpecker
reminds me of my tailor:
Jack-Why!
Because be bores so with his bill."-Teros
Sifttngs
MRs MALAPRoP has come to the front again
She was heard telling friend recently that the
state of New York had pa sed a law providing
for the execution of criminals by the ELECTORAL
College -HdrDer's Bazaar.
AND what do you expect to make out of
your son when be comes of age, MIR. smith
Oh, | don't know" replied Mr.. Smith,
1espondently. II think he'd make good hus-
band for a rich giri."-LJe.
Browse your girls father showed you the
loors
.Iones.-He did
B How did you feel over it?
J.-Well felt put out Fun.
PRETENDED German count won love of far.
ner's daughter at South Bend. Lived with old
nan six months Got six suits OF clothes, Dor
rowed money and stole horse. Old man
wouldn't board German Emperor now.-To'edo
Bee
NILLIvER's APPRENTIcE-iere's new style
of hat that I've Invented.
Omaha MilliueT-It will never be popular
why not?f
Everybody could see over it at the OPERA
Omaha World.
An ANCIENT DODGE Gracious" ex-
claimed Mrs. V, looAilg up from her paper,
Linda. the celebrated actress, has committed
suicide
BAH" replied Mr. V, she only did it to ad-
ertise herself Time.
SAFE, THouGB Ruin THREATEN.-''Vhot vas We
going to do, fadder," said little Abraham, as he
ri down the newspaper, il dose democrad>
AXE off de duty on vOo.! ii means RUM SUR;
ie brices vas too low. alretty'
Meier you fear, mine little sohn, replied the
I'D mat; lit vii not affect dis peezn IS; dere vas
20 40 -uH2e - ~0ol in all d. clodbngs in di,
emporium.-P Puck.
II CONFESS, ri II, - said the widow, with some
,hyness, 'tnat | might in time learn to love
you but, er--yon are quite poor, are you not?"
well. yes; my income * not large. but with
you dear Mr.. Tomp6ias. to cheer and encour-
re me. it would soon
An interrupted the Low, with sigh,
that would be giving hostages to fortune.
m drawing sl5 month pension, and wouldn't
certainty. The Epoch.
FATHER (who had been teaching his daughter
Iatn)-- aughter, didn't young Romer kiss you
asst night when he went away?
Daughter-YeS, papa, but it was without my
,0usent.
Father Indignantly did that happen:
Daughter-I told him, papa, when he a. ked
ne, that he could only do ad lbitum.
Fathcr-Um-er. daus liter, | think you had
letter study Latin a little longer before you
ny it on any of your beaus Washington
Critic
AMONG the wedding gifts Of a Ienox young
woman was tail lamp Of iron framework, at
whose base there were three heads of some ami
nal. What animal was meant to be represented
al been food for speculation among tae brides
friends ever since the lamps arrival. At the
wed ling reception, as a number were looking at
The gifts, Miss 4. said to Miss B., in moderate
one, for fea" the giver OF the lamp might be
ear: Entire nous, I think it's a donkey" 4
iudish young man CHANGED to be standing near
Them, and Miss b., shifting her position, brought
he young man, all unconscious between her
nd her friend. to whom she then quietly and
significantly remarked Entire nous believe
t is. ''-HGrDer's BGzdr.