Daily Yellowstone journal., 1888-10-18
TOO BIG A HURRY.
Advice to City People-The Craze Tor
= Rapid Transit.

advice to City People-The Craze for
= Rapid Transit.
Rapid transit! So that is what you
want? Well, you don't yant anything
Of the kind, taking want 10 mean need,
q properly it does. What you mean to
say is that you desire rapid transit,
Very well; you are a very foolish per-
sou; that's all. You desire rapid transit
as children desire things not good for
them. Why do you pine for rapid ran
sii? What are you i a hurry about: To
get to businessl Then start ten minutes
earlier and take your time; you will do
your work better aud more easily if you
take it up with mistaken nerves. To
get homel Home will be there at
5:35 p. IN. just as surely as at 5:25;
s'the kios"-children, il you are too pro-
per a person to accept the classic slang
and their mother had rather see you
come home in a placid than in a rufiied
stale of mind. What are you in harry
about, anyhow
For every beating pulse wetell
Leaves but the number less.
So sung a very pious and truthful yer.
si6er Of the last century. Why do you
desire to double the number of pulse beats
by the uncomfortable excitement OF
..rapid transit" ''The numberless" is
accomplished rapidly enough by the
slowest process. ''Soon shalt thou forget
all things; oon by all things shalt thou
be forgotten, " said Marcus Aurelius some
2,000 years ago. Why do you desire to
quicken the trot Of the procession toward
the inevitable chasm Of oblivion?
What you need-no matter what you
desire-is comfortable transit. Transit
that jars no nerve by rumbling cable,
joling spring, chatter of hoof on stony
pavement, direful 2roan Of laboring en-
CINE, more direful shrek of steam whistle
or most direful iangle Of brass bells out
Of tune. You don't want to be packedin
. smehce travelling car Of any sort; you
don't want your nerves to culver with APP
prehension for the fate of the reckless
newsboy-too often newschild-who ex-
poses himself to more danger while
shopping cars" for an hour than many
o battle field disc .osed in q day. And
you don't want 10 be hoisted into an
enlarged edition # q cash and parcels
haskeL and whirled by steam or
electricity at en- elevation too high
for safety, too low for comfort. High
enough to insure disaster in case Of acct
dent, low enough to catch the smoke Of
household chimneys, and the odors OF
household cooking. Still less do you
want to be shot through the bowels Of
The earth by atmospheric OF other force.
As has been said. you will explore the
ubterranean regions o enough. jam
- premet nox, fabulaque names" said
Horace. They were too wise TO banker
after underground railways in his day.
But the more comfortable transit, how
arc you going to get thats Easily, II
you have q talented pair Of legs; other
wise, with difficulty or not at all. And
sven the most gifted legs will suffer dis
quiet at the bridges and crossings Of the
most crowded streets. Comfortable
transit is Is yet afar of from you. Your
grandfather had it; your uncle who
Owes in the country has il. But your
grandfather was never in 0 hurry, and
your uncle never Is. Therefore your
Uandfather's nerves were and your un-
eae's are ~ Of steel. The fierce jolt and
hadeous rumble of the thimble skein farm
wagon are and were to them luxurious
end musical You have hurried your
1erves into q tumble Of sensitive mucus.
Dor you comfort means quiet II will be
D-''only more so"-with your unfor-
tunate children. Science and humanity
will provide for them; they can hardly
be expected TO help you, who are the
original sinful hurrier. The coming man
may cease from being in a hurry, or
humanity may decree that every other
street be reserved for passenger traffic
and foot travel only; or some large and
strong tamable birds, graceful as the
swans OF Lnda, may be discovered, upon
whose backs, or drawn by whom in
aerial cars, the tired and nervous may be
borne quietly, and quickly, too, to aud
from business; or balloons may convey
people at salubrious heights through the
calm OF air, or chloroform may be ad-
ministered to each street car passenger
by the conductor in such quantities as to
render him or her oblivious to the perils
and discomforts Of travel. This latter
experiment might well be essayed under
the existing condition of street transit,
which is neither comfortable nor rapid
Chicago Inter Ocean.