The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1888-05-02
Pith and Point.

EGoTIsM is only weakness of the rs
LOlCeU Courier.
ONE swallow does not make a summer
but one bullfrog makes spring.
DON'T stick your nose too far into the
private affairs of a muscular man.
THE Baltimore american says that in 1884
Mr. Blaine had the pulpit and this year he
has Depew.
THE English language sounds funny to
foreigner when one says: will come
by and by and buy bicycle. ''-EGchdnge.
A woULD.BE wit once asked an old Ger
man: " Fritz, what do you think of when
you think of nothing" l links of you"
was the quiet reply.
| A New YORK man has invented process
! for making railroad cars out of wood pulp,
| but it takes a Kansas cyclone to make wood
| pulp out of railroad cars.-RdnSdS city star.
WALT WHITMAN says that nothing is ever
really lost" But will he kindly inform
waiting world what has become of the
rhymes at the end of his poetry lines?-
Boston Transcript.
OLD man lat the head of the stairs):
" Hasn't that young man gone yet Clara"'
Daughter: No, papa; are we disturbing
you?" Old man. Yes, the silence down
there is oppressive"
THE thistle at the antipodes seems to at
tain most vigorous growth. It's root pene-
trates to a depth of from twelve to twenty
pieces, retains vitality, each root producing
n new plant.
As an incentive to young ambition it
I would be interesting to know how many
people of prominence there are in our coun-
try who can look back to the time when
they used to go to bed while they were hav-
ing their trousers fixed.
THIS is the order which little girl brought
into Lewiston druggists store the other
day. 1t was written on dirty piece of
note-paper, as follows: Mister Druggists.
Please send ipecac enough to throw up a
four-year-old Qualification (We) Journal
WIFE docking over the bilD: " Do you re-
member, my dear, how many trout you
caught last Saturday." Husbands There
We're just twelve of them-all beauties.
Why" Wife The tish-dealer has made
a mistake. He charges for only half a
Dozen"
AN Indian" Jungle is not a forest All
uncultivated or waste lands in India are
called jungles." Forests are scarce in
that country. The mountain jungles,"
where the tiger has his home, and from
which he comes down to carry off people or
domestic animals, have no trees other than
low scattered bushes and rocks.
SEE various expedients given for writing
. over an erasure. This is the best | have
ever used, and have tried many methods.
Erase carefully with a knife, not scraping
, too deeply. Then turn the pen over and
will be but little darker than other words
on the page and will not spread.-Ihe Writer.
A LITTLE girl of Knickerbocker descent,
in whose presence the family glories We're
often descanted on, was overheard lately
rebuking her pet kitten for some INSIDE
meanor. Holding pussy by her fore paws
and looking her full in the face, she re-
, marked: "Im ashamed of you, kitty, for
being so naughty; and just think, your
grandmother was Maltese!"
t STRANGER Ito Office boy: "Did you tell
the editor there's a man down stairs what
? wants to knock him down an drag him
, out?" Office boy :" Yes sir; an he says
will you kindly step up at once, as he wants
5 to go to dinner" Stranger, somewhat
= milder Well-er-I don't want to take
;. no advantage OF a man with an empty
A stomach. Tell him I'll come in again, -
e Epoch.
e Mrs. SLMDIET Offering plate with one
S sicl<ly-ooking cold cake on it): Have
: another of the griddle-cakes, Mr.. De-
f Boarder." DeBoarder: 60 fear you are try
, ing to spoil me by excessive hospitality,
: Mrs. Slmdiet, but will not allow my nat
ural selfshness and your great kindness to
e override the rules of etiquette so far as to
$ take the last cake on plate Help your
n self, madam can wait. "-Omdhd World,
: WE have noticed an article going the rounds
i of the papers which says: a Poughkeepsie
, barber says that eight out of ten men are
bald nowadays, and he attributes it to food
adulteration." 1t is nothing of the kind.
1t is the wool hat first worn when Kossuth
first came to the United States and which
was never fit for a man to put on his head.
1t is hot and alright causes headache and
loss of hair. The 81 plug hat " is airy, and
its roof is so high that the action of the sun
: is not apt to Immediately affect the brain.
: 1t is the most sensible hat yet invented,
unless it be straw hat for summer,-IddbO
u Statesman.
, In a country church in the remote dis
n trcts of the west of England "A swarm of
: bees had taken up their quarters in the
- oaken woodwork at the back of the pulpit,
. to the dismay and the discomfort of the
: weekly occupant of that structure During
= the discharge of his peculiar function he
q was not only annoyed with the busy, sullen
% roar of the hive, but his fear of arousing
y their animositv by the loud challenge of his
- tones, or by the vibration of the pulpit, was
- stimulated by the light skirmishers which
n used to come out and perform all sorts OF
- minatory manGuvres within measurable
! distance of his nose. The annoyance at
y length became intolerable and orders were
T. given to smoke out the bees This was
y effectualy done; but, unfortunately, the
- clerk in smoking out the bees set fire to the
~ church and it was burned to the ground
~ Chambers Journal.
r HENRY UPPER, one of those knowing
n men, was explaining to his wife and sister
n in-law in Dubuque the other day how they
e should conduct themselves in case their
10 clothes should accidentally catch afre
Of 1.-THE best thing you can do" he said " is
n to rush out and roll over and over in the
Re snow. It's easy enough and a sure thing
he if you only keep your presence of mind
lr Here, I've got ON some old clothes, and III
1t show you how it's done" He showed
ii them. He turned kerosene on his legs ano
le then touched a match to them. All this hap
c. pened in the kitchen. The unearthly, ter
n rifle yell Mr.. Upper let loose happened
a there too, and then, like screaming, blaz
Is ing demon, he dashed for the snow-hank viz
rs dining-room, hall, stairway, bedroom win
ne dow and the top of the woodshed. He go
rs into the snow bank and rolled over Just az
~ soon as the presence of mind which neg
al lected to cast him into the bank just out
IN side the kitchen door would let him. Thu