Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1888-12-27
WIT AND Ill NOR.

fQfllilt. AtAt tfttt . tftNV'eftA AlAf Nttt.
# IS one of the peculiarities of things
IN General that the freshest men gem
rally tell the stalest stories Boston
Commercial
..What becomes of the old moons,
nsgn The old moons, my son? Why
n die OF new moonia, of course
Lgia ITEM.
She is not necessarily a brunette.
INIT the object of woman who will
naint and powder is to keep her real
complexion dark. Boston IrGt.script.
Young man lin restaurant -Er-
waiter, I don't like the appearance Of
this napkin. Waiter That napkin
was fresh this morning, sir-Harper'S
Bd-ar
IL say. old man, can You tell me
what is the first present mentioned in
the bible?' Give it up. .Why Eve
presented Adam with a Cain, stupid. :"
Life
We are informed that the boa-ton of
the Chinese in this country are sort
of Washington This is Il most touch
inc tribute to the Father OF his eoun-
try.--TiB1c.
He-Why does Miss Jaundice always
wear lilies of the valley? She--I can't
imagine particularly as flowers of the
plain would be 50 much more appro-
priate-L0e.
Quack doctors do business on the
supposition that only one man in a
dozen is sensible. 1t appears to us that
this is rather large estimate. -Roch-
ester Express.
Let Nine. DeBar show us the spirit
painted portrait of orr next presi-
dent of the United States. and then,
and not until then. shall we believe. -
LglCeH citizen.
Friend (to convaeScenD- s'pose
your pneumonia cost you a good deal,
Brown? Convalescent-O oh, no; / got
it in an open street-car for five cents.
Hqrper'S BQ@dr
Professor of English-I wish you
could nave been present at our college
commencement Speaker Of English
II was, SIR. helped lay the corner
Stone On3aha World.
"A lie grows as it travels A fish
ermau's lie is an exception. II is tho
fish that grows, aud the lie is cut, bast-
ed and sewed to suit the size OF the
fish. Boston Courier
Mrs. Waldo (of Boston) Isn't Mr..
Wabash of Chicago an original young
man, Penelope? Miss Penelope He's
more than chat. mamma; he is aborig-
inal- Art York sun.
Strangers who have been in Boston
muddy days say they can never again
be brought to believe that Lowell is
the simon-pure, original Spindle City.
-S0mcyri}e JouJ75at.
Edison is totally deaf and is the
father of an infant, and says he would
sacrifice everything to get his hearing
back. Genius is frequently eccentric.
-AeV H0reR Aclcs.
A-Im hard up, and want money
badly Ed Why not write TO some Of
Your friends? Al-That's the trouble,
/ have too many friends. ! wish
knew q stranger. HOper's Bazar,
If The human race was evolved from
the apes, it at least has the satisfaction
of knowing that its ancestors were in
tcligent they were educated in the
higher branches. -Nel0 lorb Irj5HHe,
Nh Bascomb-l see that the Uni
yrrsity Of Bologna celebrates its S00th
anniversary the 18th Mrs. Bascomb
%. how | should like to be there and
see them make the sausagesl Burl5Rg-
ten Free Press.
If newer pass that 1ouse across the
way said Dumley, that | do not see
tuat pretty little woman on the lawn.
She must spend most of her time
there Brown Yes, she does; she is
grass widow cl0 Yorh San.
Proprictor-H Have n good dinner, sir?
Guest Can't say | did, but you have
two things on the bill as fine as any
where in the United States. Proprietor
(hattercd) All! and they are? Guest
The salt and the ice-water. Time.
Brown You don't look well, Robin
son; what's the matter, sick. Robin
son-Yes: smoked too many cigars to-
day Brown How many have you
smoked? Robinson one you
gave me last night-NeJc York sun.
Brown-You don't look well, lately,
Robinson. Robinson No; | can't
sleep at night on account of lung
trouble. OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES your lungs
are all right. Roblnson--Yes mine
are; the trouble is with the baby's.-
Puck.
Indignant dude-I want You to I'M
derstand, sir, that I'm gentleman.
Other felow-All right, sir as a friend
of the family / will do my best, but
You are putting my capacity for UNDER
standing to a fearful test.-Artd1iSdo
IraCelcr.
Mistress Bridget, where is that pic
ture of Psyche that belongs in the
front parlor2 Bridget -Och, it's me-
silt, mum, that forgot to bring it back.
was fxin' me hair fer church this
marniu and left it in me own room.
PUCK
Paris has a society for the protec-
ton Of Young men who have lost their
latchkeys aud can't get in the house. !"
That IS an wen enough, but in this
country the protection is most needed