Morning journal and courier., 1888-09-19
DTFFERENT.

There is only the difference of a letter. Be- fore marriage man yearns for woman and after marriage he earns for rher.-Binghamton Republican. es9
 "There are more weighs than one of mak- ing money" remarked the coal dealer soft1y as he showed tue pes along the scale beam.-S Washington Critic. 5s. ss. '''1
 Too High valuation-C Customer (to bird fancier)- My wife wants parrot. Whats the lowest you will take for that birdF' Bird Fancier-"Fifty dollars. sir, is rook-bottom." Parrot-"Come off, you've tried to sell me for twentyi"-Life.
 John Tod, Scotchman, has just published 8 book, ssBits About America" We don't understand this Perhaps the correct title is fsBites About America ,n and the work treats of the fisheries, Jersey mosquitoes and the great American free 1unch.-f Rochester Post Express.
 In race between zebra and an ostrich, held in Zanzibar recently, the prize was giv- on the rider of the zebra, although the os- trich came in hundred yards ahead. The zebra's jockey claimed that his rival won on fowl, and the judge sustained him.-Har- per's Bazar.
 Young Jenkins (trembling1y)-sT have-er spoken to Mabel, Mr. Stentor, and-she said |-well-er-she said if wished to press my suit must see you" Mr. Stentor-stShe did, chi We'll, Mir. Jenkins, all I've got to say is this, that if you wish to press your suit you had better see tailor. Good day, sirl" Lowell Citizen.
 Teacher-'Annie, haven't said repeated ly that the scholars mustn't chew gum in sohoola What is that in your mouth4'
 Annie-"Tooty frooty."
 Teacher-"What's tooty frooty, I'd like to knowf'
 Annie--"one cent, maam, or three for. fve."-[Springfeld Union. .zs Young lady (to cigar daaler)-"Have you the ''Fragrant' brand of cigars, sir?" Dealer -"Yes, miss" Young lady-"How much are they boxf' Dealer-"One dollar and a half box, ,.miss; 100 in box" Young lady -"You may give me box, please. They are present for my-nly cousin; I often heard him say how fond he is of fragrant Havana. ."-New York Sun.
 The shark and the sailor-A sailor who mad fallen overheard and was being swept away by the tide called out in his dispair: 'T shall be drowned-I shall be drownedr' ''And, actuated by desire to save you from such painful fate, shall take you in" re- piled shark which had ranged alongside. Moral: When things are at their worst they mend.-Detroit Free Press.
 The Effect of Advertising. - Old MT. Bsntly (who has just moved because he couldn't live in the flat any longer)-"Ths agent has an advertisement in to-day's paper bout that miserable flat we've just left. He says the rooms are large and airy, perfect steam heat, appurtenances fust class, and the locality desirable in ev'ry way" Old Mrs. Bently (hslf rsgretfully) y)-"Well, now, Josiah, I'm almost sorry we give it up."-Phillip H. Welch in the Epoch.
 "As you can only be a sister to me-" he said in broken tones, twill you let me kiss you good nighti' She slyly said she would. Then he folded her in his strong arms and gently placing her head against his manly breast, he kissed her passionately. "Mr. Sampson" she said softly, "this is all 90 new to me, so-so different from what thought it to be, that if you will give me little time toto think it over, I-I may" But let us withdraw from the sacred scene.-New York Sun.
 Wouldn't Drink Any.-Old Jefferson Cat- nip, upon his first visit to the city, went with friend to Q restaurant. While they were sitting at table young fellow carrying lawn tennis racquet came into the room. Old Jefferson, after regarding the instrument for few moments, turned to his friend and said: "John, dinged ef I'd drink any milk in this town" F'Why nota" ''Why notl Pointing.) Jest look at the strainers they use. Blamed eff you couldn't shove cat- bird through lem. Traveller.