Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1888-07-25
HOW THEY ARE MADE.
Tho Prevailing Methpds of MANUFACTURER
Political Converts.

Tho Prevailing Methods of Manufacturing
Political Converts.
Converts are all the 90 these days it
seems. In fact, it has become quite the
proper thing in some quarters to be con-
verified. In Wall street the boy preacher
Harrison mot Hallison this time) has been
cutting a wide swath among the sinners.
Wheeling, not to be behind, has boy
preacher also. Ho is the presiding genius
of the Inteligencer, and as u "manutacturer
of converts" of the latest make and best
approved style, he is no SLOUGH when once
his hand sin. Naturally, the infant evan
gelist's efforts have attracted great atteD-
ton.
A representative of the REGISTER met
prominent gentleman this morning, who
talked about some of these alleged CONVEX
sions. He said: II see the Fourteenth street
organ has taken down it's list of antique
political specimens. Probably it has become
tired of them, and some of its converts
have been made weary by the company
they were in. 1t was thin scheme from
beginning to end-this publishing the
names of alleged floppers and making such
a TODD about them. The InteHigencer
knows that its party is losing strength in
this county, and it is aoundering around,
trying to make poor pretense of courage,
and find out if possible the extent of their
numbers. Why every morning they send
ont o scout, who surveys the REGISTER
office front and rear, in order to fathom
the deep and bloody designs Of the enemy.
Zone thing believe. 1t can find plenty
more choppers" like some it seems to be
pleased with. The society for prevention
of cruelty to children, however, should be
called upon to prosecute it for publishing
the names of infants in its column Of
foppers. 1t is taking base advantage of
youth and innocence"
Evangelist Harris wonderful success in
the political dens and purlieus has pro-
voked a careful inquiry into the methods
of making conversion these days. From
what can he learned the most used and
most effective method is something like
this: Skilful liar and crossqueetioner ap-
proaches intended victim. The fun be-
gins. Questions flow thick and fast. Are
you in favor of protecting home labor ?
Do YOU love your wife and children? How
often do you say your prayers? What is
your age, are your teeth in good condition,
what is your height, color
Of your hair, and are you respectableH
Ifso, have you any objections to making
it public? Are 20 a Republican, and
didn't you once vote the Democratic ticket
for constable?
Having reviewed affirmative answers to
more or less Of these qaeries, the accom-
plished and gifted liar retires, and 10!
Democratic convert to Republicanism
springs forth waving Chinese pigtail and
shouting for high taxes. The operation is
simple.
The representative Of the REGISTER
heard yesterday of Democrat who had
had an experience similar to this. He said
that fellow HarS has been after me to
have nv name put on his dsmphool list. l
am no Hopper, and will see him in hades
first"
The plan of procedure varies with the
style Of convert desired. On citizen sup
posed to have some objection to the Mills
bill it is about as follows:
Skillful cross-questioner and liar-Don't
you know that you will be eternally
damned? Have you experienced religion,
and how oftenP What will You do to be
saved3 Come out on the Lords side and
get your name in the InteRigener. We
are publishing nice Sunday school edi-
ton now. Have you voted for Q Democrat
at any time since 1900. If 30, do you OBJ
jsct to publishing it?
The victim is probably not ashamed of
the fact that he once voted for q Democrat,
and 30 convert to Republic&nism of the
protective tariff pattern is ready for use
when occasion requires
1t is noticeable that the number Of these
conversions increases the farther we 20
FROM home. At Wheeling they are 90 thin
and shsky that they have to be padded
with mustard plasters to keep their shape
When they get into the columns Of the
Cincinnati Commercial Gazette and like or
gans, it would seem that such revival"
was never known as the one Editor Birdie
now has in charge; that Wheeling is all
Republican, and we have Chinese lantern
parade every night.
In order to add variety to the CONVEX
sions and help on the good work, it has
been suggested that questions like the fol-
lowing be put at the prospective convertsl
How much have you made or Of other PEG.
ple's labor? Did any Of your workmen
ever get rich? How highly are you protect
ed by the present tariff and how much of
that protection benefits your workmen?
Interspersed with these suggestions the
evangelist might AJAX: What are your di-
mansions, the size Of your feet, and are