Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1888-02-11

lcnce OF her III was a belief which
took care not to eradicate. Everything
worked well until one evening, wher
some malign individual saw us sit
ting in the window in the cleaning
hand in hand as usual. She was pointing
to a fleecy crimson cloudlet with a yellow
border, scalloped, and her poetic fancy
led her to wonder whether a blonde ange.
of good taste would dare to float on such
highly colored material. | was making
believe that | couldn't determine just
which cloud she was looking at, and was
Gaming very close to her that | might get
the direction of her pointing finger OTIS
an odd trick; all the boys know IT.. We
were observed thus and the secret was
out. ! I'm almost too modest 10 relate the
sequel, but the solemn fact is that the
next day my Office was crowded with all
old maids in the neighbOrhood who were
able TO get out of the house, and the 9th
ers sent delicate notes requesting me TO
call as soon as convenient, rs they were
very much in need of my treatment. In
the presence Of this venerable collection
of fashion plates from the back numbers
of forgotten ladies magazines, | stood
aghast. Their manne left no doubt that
the sudden boom in business was due to
the injudicious advertisement Of the pre-
ceding evening. How in the name of all
the martyrs was | to stand an hour in the
cleaning with each of them? Was | cy-
pected to pose in the usual window be-
fore which | realized that a crowd
would nov regularly assemblies
These and a hundred other
narrowing questions rushed through my
mind. Then with sudden resolution |
made appointments with them all and
proposed to escape from the town under
the shadows Of the coming night.
But was it decrced otherwise. My
numerous arrivals for the affections of
Miss Winnie had consulted with the
physicians whom my success had almost
driven out of the business, and together
they had put up" a job on me. The be
lated sisters had no sooner filed out of my
office than a young man entered with II
wild look in his eye.
I'm a very sick man." he said.
"ICu arc mistaken" said |; 'all dis
ease is fallacy. 1t IS merely a belief.
You are really well"
ION the contrary" he broke in, leaning
mysteriously toward me. II have the
small pox in the most violent form. While
that was all, | concealed it from the
authorities, but yesterday | was attacked
by the cholera. and | feel"
Mother of Moses. you don't say So"
/ yelled, spr.hging away from him. Get
out of here. This $ no place Tor you.
DO you take this for a pest house? Go
sell yourself for a medical curiosity. I've
got no use for you"
BE CAM, said he; Il have just taken
tablespoonfuls of prussic acid and am
likely to die any minute unless your mind
cure me. AT least let my last hours be
peaceful"
Peaceful BIO hangedl Mind cure be
blowed!' | yelled, grasping a patent fire
extinguisher. do you think I'm going
to let such a corpse as you
are be found on these premises.
No, sir; I've got business out OF
and if | wait for yourinquest one of
those old maids will catch ms and then
he coroner will sit on me too. open
your mouth while | pump that prussic
acid out Of you!'
| sprang upon him, hurled him to the
floor, damned the big syringe into his
mouth, grasped the handle, and in anoth-
er moment would have turned the unfor-
man inside out, but the door was
IN and his friends, who were in the
joke, rushed upon me and rescued the
victim. | saw that | had been dupcd and
my rage was ~boundless. Dashing off a
hasty note to Winnie fled the town, and
thus ended my professional experience.
| am told that the old maids were incon-
solable at my loss. but the poetess mar
ried an allopath in good and regular
standing within a year.