The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1888-08-30
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.


The one-stoSy frame cabin in
which Andrew johnson served his ap-
premiership as tailor is still standing
in Columbia, Tenn.
True it is what "the good men do
is oft inferred with their bones," but
it is not frequently necessary to enlarge
the coffin for that purpose.-Boston
Post.
"A human subject without collar.
bones has been met with in st. Louis
dissecting room. This structure is that
of most of the vertebrates, such as
lions, bears, etc.
-Blobson says that Snagsby is SO
rascally that he should think he would
be afraid to count his own money for
fear some of it would be missing when
he got done.-Burlingto Free Press.
The man who was kicked out by
his landlord because he couldn't pay
his rent says his experience shows that
three removes are not one-tenth part
as bad as one fire. ."-Journol of Edu-
cation.
-Wife-"John, the new maid told
me that you tried to kiss her this morn
ing" Husband-''What, Aud l paid
her a dollar to say nothing to you
about it. Discharge her at once.
Such a person is not to be trusted.-M.
| Y. San.
-Lambrequin "There is Brown
crossing the street; let us turn down
here and get out of his way Robin
son-"What's the matter? Do you owe
him any thing?' Lambrequin-"N No;
but he has just got back from weeks
fishing excursion.-LJe.
Rich host Ito poor relation) -"The
duck seems to be pretty much all gone,
James. How would you like some OF
the dressing?" Poor relation-'That
will do nicely, sir; and if there is any
left you might give me small piece of
the quack. ."-Teaas Stttings.
Happy man Ito fair widow w)-"And
shall we have a rousing wedding, dar-
ling, a fine supper, dancing, music, and
all that sort of thing?" Fair widow
''N-no. | think not, John, dear. We
must remember there was funeral in
the house only a short time ago.
The Epoch.
A married lady declined to tell a
maiden sister any of her troubles, say
ing: "Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis
folly to be wise" Yes" replied the
sister, land I've come to the conclusion
that when singleness is bliss it's folly
to be wives"
| Nothing else is so calculated to
work on mans sympathies as the sight
of a young mans painful effort at un-
concern while he is scratching his
brow with the hand with which he
would have tipped his hat to young
lady if she hadn't cut him dead
Judge.
Dying benedict--''I bequeath every
dollar to my wife. Have you got that
DOWN." Lawyer-'Yes." Dying bene-
dict-"On condition that she marries
within a year" Lawyer-''But why
insist upon that?" Dying benedict
because l want somebody to be sorry
that died. ."-Harper's Bazar.
"A man out West fell in dead
faint the other day and the people
thought at first that it was heart dis.
ease. Afterward the man recovered
and it was found that he had sent for
plumber the day before to do little
work, and the plumber had come punct
ually at the time he said he would
SomerrtUe Journal.
Mrs. Blunt can't abide thai
Smith woman; believe actually hate
her." Mr. Goode-'' But, my deal
Mrs. Blunt, you ought not to feel so
Doesn't the Bible tell us to love oul
enemies?' 80, yes, it is all very wei
to say love your enemies, but how car
one love them when ones enemies hap
pen to be ones dearest friends?''-
Boston Transcript.
-''Non-explosive dynamite?n Wei
indeed, Henry, we never heard of sucl
a thing and consequently can't tel
where to find it. But we have M
doubt that should the Government ad
vcrtise for $4,000 pounds of higl
proof, double force dynamite for tor
pedoes, some patriotic contracto
would find way of furnishing a
double price kind of dynamite Will
about one-tenth the explosive force o
wet sand. .-Burdctte.
\-
Insects on Trees.