Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1888-11-15

Hrs. B. I would not put on those
round sticks again. Fred, if Iwere you.
for they will not burn, I'm sure.
Mr.. b. Nonsense! After your sue
cess with fire, I think you had better
not offer me too much advice. ALI that
is needed to make those sticks burn is
plenty of kindling-wood. Mr.. b puts
on the bloscer, and lights the paper from
underneath. Now we shall see who 1t
is in the house that knows how to make
a fire.
Mrs. B. / do not think. Fred, that
your fires have always been SO ex-
tremely successful. / think you have
forgotten your last experience with the
furnace fire, when you shut up all the
draughts and filed the cellar with
smoke, so that was almost suffocated
when / went down to see whether you
had set the house on fire or not
Mr.. b. Who is talking about furnace
fires, should like to know? That Is
the way with all women; they always
go of at tangent on the slightest
provocation. Oh, I do admire a logical
mind above all things. Because the
furnace fire smoked, once upon time,
therefore the library fire can not be
lighted.
Mrs. B. How can you be so cross,
Fred? You hurt my feelings very much.
1t is bad enough to have disrespectful
daughters, without being scolded by
ones husband just because he can not
make an old fire burn.
Mr.. B. / tell you it is burning.
Mrs. B. Perhaps it is; but you act as
If it was my fault that your man has
filed the cellar with damp sticks which
will not kindle.
Mr. B. But say they are kindling.
Mrs. B. beginning to sob.) Then let
them kindle, and much good may they
do you! I never wish to see an open
fireplace again. Talk about women
being stupid, senseles, illogical! Mr..
B. begisss to demonstrate. Yes, you
did. l want to know what men are.
Off all day at an Office enjoying them
selves, while we stay at home and slave
and wear ourselves out
Mr.. b. BREAKS IN.
Mr.. B. Making fires and doing things
no one ever asked you to do. in order
to be cross and tired when get home
from town. / shall certainly make no
more efforts to come out early. 1 as
sure you feel hardly repaid for short
ening my daily enjoyment" at the
Office.
Mrs. B.goes sobbisaq from the room.
Mr.. B. begins to sUalk up and
dosOn the room acith his hands in
his pockets. Finally he thinks of
the fire, and jerks off the 6loOer.
Mr.. B. That COMPOUNDED fire is out,
after all.
He filings it on the floor, and strides
out of the room.
MARY appears aoith bod of coal,
more kimdIing-aoood, etc.. and
proceeds to pick up the blower.
Mary. What a muss Mr.. Burlington
has made to be sure! A wood fire, in
deed! I'm sure they all will be glad to
leave it to me next time, and much
work and fuss they will save.
She makes the fire and puts on the
blosCer; she then proceeds to tidy
the room and brush the black
from the sU1tite rug. When she
has finished she removes kbe bloao-
err acith a triumphant soave, and
shoes a bright coal fire as Ger
trude enters. Ert Mary.
Gertrude. So Mary makes the fire,
after all. Enter Kate Come, Kate,
and get warm; you look like an icicle.
Bring up a chair; your fire is a great
success, after all.
Kate shakes her head, 6ut does not
refuse to toast her slippers on the
fender achile she gazes mourn
fully into the fire. at last she
says, humbly.
mine.
Mrs. B. enters, foltos0ed by Mr.. B.
Gertrude's eyes twinkle as she
says, denaarely.
Gertrude. Oh, indeed! I thought on
ly mother could make a fire like that;
it looks so professional
Mrs. B. (breaks in). No, had moth
ing to do with that fire; mine was a
dead failure; your father is the only
one in the house who can make fire a
success. She approaches him and er-
tends her hand. snsilingly1
Gertrude Advances toaDard her fa-
Their, and making a grand cour
tesy, erctasnas;
Gertrude. l always knew that papa
was the only one who really understood
just how fire should be made, but l
never saw so fine practical illustra-
ton.
Mr.. B. .froaons, and begins to ,oalk
up and d0a1n the room, aOlaile
Gertrude matches him UHh