Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1888-06-03
THE OLD SETTLER.

almost forgotten"
THE OLD SETTLER.
He Contributes to Hip the Hssthens In
| Africa.
Ed. Not m NeW York Sun.
Tie ladies of SOILS ridge adjacent clear.
ings, under the direction Of Brother Van
Slocum, in charge OF the circuit, had
formed beneficial aid society for the anne
Iteration of the of certain benighted
jewellers on the earth vaguely known at
the Riag, as ''heathens in Afferky."
The society was called the Feeders Of
Them that Hungefs and the Clothers Of the
Naked, title formulated by Brother Van
Slocum, who said that it was ''ca'c'hted
to kivver most rythiDg, the feedin' part
of it referrin' TO spirit'sl sust'nance, an
the clothint eepartment O. the title suggest.
in any thing secon' ham, I'm rubber boots
TO buckskin gslluses." In fartherance Of
the plans of the society, an assessment had
been made on the sisters in their capacity
of Clo,hers of the Naked for such articles
of apparel as the attrltiou Of years had
rendered Incompatible with the Ridge idea
of what properly clothed the naked ut
home, no matter what IL might do for the
naked ofheathen lands.
In response to this assessment, Maria
had brought out disabled and presuma-
bly, retired red flannel shirt Of the Old
Settlers, and pair Of his heavy corduroy
trousers, sbrunk and faded, and with q
visible sense of goneness aft that suggested
that the wearer had been on familiar terms
with ease-if long and faithful contact
with certain hard bottomed tavern chair
could be dignified by such an expression.
Maria had rejuvenated the red flannel
shirt by sewing number Of blue china
buttons on it, and was proceeding to over
haul the corduroys, when the Old Settler,
who was braiding horsehair fshline ns
one necessary preparation for the seasons
campaign against front, smiled approving
" at her and said:
sI'm glad yer sorter riggin' them buds
up, Mriar, but tn WANT no use o. doin'
of it. They're plenty good enough fer to
trout fish in Just ez they be. That's wat
I slowed 'em away fer las fall"
This vale O. tears is full O. dissyp'int-
mepts, Silas," replied Maria, AN I'm
Altered this here red flannel shirt an these
here breaches is one on 'em. Unless thur
trout in Afric's sunny fountains that runs
down the golden sands, an the Onfort'nit
Peggin wat draws this contribution Is q
wuss heather thin ! hope he is, an spen's
his time a-lshin', tn wunt he no trout
ke.ched in these duds this year
The Old Settler laid down the strands OF
hair he was braiding. He rested his hands
on his knees and looked in amazement ut
Maria.
''D'ye meanter say, M'rai," said he,
''th't them garments O. mine is gointer be
shipped TO Afferky, with the compliments
of the Soils Ridge Feeders o.
Them th't's Hungry and Clothers O. the
Naked?"
"Sster Billin's, ez Sucatory O. the
Feeders an the Clothers, has the sayin' ez
to that" replied Maria; but this here
contribution il o goin' either to Affsrky or
Aishy, or to Ipjy's coral stran's, one or
t'other, dunno WITCH"
"An' W.T. in Sam Hill be l gointer
trout fish IMP" gasped the Old Settler.
1.-THE wind is slluz tempered to the
shorn lamb, Silaa," said Maria.
..'Mebby it ism exclaimed the Old Set
tier, astonishment giving way to indigua-
ton. 'Mebby it is, bgosh. The wind
may be tempered to the horned ram, but
but ii bain't foatin' red flannel shirts
an cordyroy pants around, b'gosh-tl-
mighty, fer them that clothin' the naked
in Afferky to grab at an slip on ev'ry
time they 20 trout fishin'! An watts
the shorned lamb got to do with IL, any.
how? want my dudsW
''This is an amazin' privilege yer mi YIN
Silas," said Maria, IAN amszin' privilege I!
Think o. havin' an oil flannel shirt an a
pair of cord'yroys with holes in 'em, to be
sent over thar to the onfort'nit heathens,
whsr mebby The spicy breezes that comes
soft DER Ceylon's lie III blow through 'em
witch wunt hurt 'em none, lutheran
whsr they III be sure, anyhow, TO kivver the
nakedness o. some sufferin' soul benighted
-tz fur e. the holes in these cord yroys
III let 'em-an' perfect him FIN tie cuttin'
winds an nippin' frosts and pepperin'
sleets. Std o. moanin' over losin' the
garments, We OTTER ej'ice, with exceedin'
great j'y, th't they'm a goin', an th't the
Soils Ridge Feeders o. the Hungry an
Clothers o. the Naked is ready an willin'
10 conterbute finnels an cordyroys to- ards
deliverin' the Lam FIN errors chains Bot
be that ca II may, thur Jest this here about
tiff ye don't like it yell lief to lump IL!
These duds is goin' to the heathens!"
The Old Settler rose from his chair, The
inner depths OF his whole being were moved.
He strobe into the bedroom of the kitchen,
4 and strode out again with an old straw hat
in one hand and his large and ancient cot.
ton umbrella in the o. der.
II orter rtj'ice with ercedin' great ~,
cause nv flannel an cordyroys is goin' "a
Afferky, had IP' he exclaimed, waving the
straw bat in NE air and humping the floor
with the umbrella. "Wull, b'gosh, do
Pm ri 'icin' hard! Bot want to r. 'ics
some more. feel th't Their hain't nuthin'
in the hull world th't tn beathens 10 The
fretgin' ard snow-kivvered deserts o. At
ferky is q pinin' an shiverin' Fer ez they bs
fer oil red flannel shirts with blue chsny
buttons on EN-, an thick corduroy pant,
ez is short in the legs, an ca haid't got nc
seat in 'em to speak on! feel th't Il
them heatheDs is KEEP out o. setch dudi
mitch longer, the wild billiards. O. thu
north III sweep down onter 'em an swalleI
'em up wuss'r the Red sea swallered th.
children o. Isr'al, time they was swimmin
crost it on dry Ian! But wat be ",
sgointsr do with the OIL staw bats an tn.
umbrils? i can't rej'iee half enough 1
the Feeders o. the Hungry an the Uother
o. the Naked turns the cold shoulder OF
the OIL straw hats an the umbrils. M'risr
while the onfort'nit citizsps O. Afric'
sunny fountains, and their neighbors il
the Ipjy's coral stran's deestric' IS chat
term an sbiverin' under the pepperin
sleet an nippin' ffosts, waitin' fer III,
SOILS Ridge Peeders and CJotbers IN ma;