The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1888-07-19
TWO QUEER SERVANTS.
A Story Illustrating the Stupidity OF
Central Russian Servants.

A Story Illustrating the stupidity OF
Central Russian Servants.
"You talk of having trouble with
your servants, COurtenay, my boy" :"
said Captain Lansdowne. of the British
Dragon Guards, as he sat at the
double window of his hotel in Moscow,
watching the red winter sunset fade be-
hind the great white battlements and
greenfield towers encircling the
"GOrodskaya Tchast" Getty quarter
''Well, just you come and live in Russia
for a year OF two, and then you'll
think all Western servants absolute
perfection"
That's so," assented Mr.. Hiram
Boyler, with dry smile upon his keen
American face. ''rve engineered three
railroads between this and Volga, and
l ought to know what sort of critters
the Russians are"
But really, now, you know" ex-
postulated Courtenay-whO, as a new
arrival, was being put through course
of Russian manners and customs by his
two friends-''some of these stories
that they tell about servants can't pos
sibly be true. For instance, fancy any
body expecting one to believe that an
officers servant could bring his master
two odd boots, and say: Faith, don't
know what's got into thin boots to-day.
There's another pair downstairs in
that very same shape, shurer"
"Well, Pm sorry to contradict you,
old fellow" said the captain, laughing,
"but it happens that saw that done
myself, and the officer was the senior
major of our regiment"
"And if you want a parallel case, "
chimed in Mr.. Boyler, 81 guess we can
accommodate you right away"
So saying, he stepped to the door,
and shouted into the passage, "Vanyan'
(JOhnny).
'Sei-tchass" directly answered a
hoarse voice, and in came a short,
square, low-browed fellow with a red
calico shirt outside all his other clothes,
and a face whose profound and placed
stupidity was worthy of Tartar idol.
"Bring two logs for the stove," said
the American; land mind that one
must be longer than the other"
Away plodded honest Ivan like a
plough-horse and and returned present
ly with two split logs of unequal length.
.'Durak!" (fooD. cried Mr.. Boyler,
with admirably feigned anger. II told
you to have one piece longer than the
the other, and instead of that you've
got one piece shorter than the otherr'
Ivan hung his head in confusion.
$50 have, sure enough. It's all my
fault; BARN" (master); .'but I'll go and
change it this moment"
"Well," cried Courtenay, as Ivan dis
appeared, ''if there's another such fool
as that in Russia, I'd like to see him,
that's all1'
$50 YOU shall, in less than half a
minute" said Captain Lansdowne. GO
ing to the door in his turn. "Meeshar'
(Mike).
A hasty step was heard outside, and
a tall, scraggy fellow entered, whose
gaunt face had none of the stolid salts
faction which marked the heavy
features of Iyan. On the contrary, he
wore a restless and troubled look, as if
he were dimly conscious that he was a
fool, and was always trying to find out
how and why.
Were you pleased to call, Yury
Petrovitch?" George. son of Peter),
asked he.
Yes; l want you to do job for me.
You know PashkOg's store Just across
the street? Well, here are two twenty
kopeck pieces" (silyer coins worth
about dime). $50 and bring ME
twenty kopecks' worth of white bread
and twenty kopecks' worth of cheese. p"
OFF went Michael on his errand, and
Mr.. CONFERENCE.-THE could not i'm
agine how any one could manage to
bungle such plain COMMISSIONERS
greatly puzzled when a quarter of an
hour went by without any sign of his
return.
Something must have happened to
him, SURELY" said he at last.
Il haven't the slightest doubt of it, -
answered the captain, with sly smile,
land 1 can pretty well guess what that
something is. Clap on your coat and
hat, and come along. Pashkoff's isn't
far off, and I'll be bound we shall find
Master Michael at the door of the shop. "
There they found him sure enough,
with such an expression as might be
worn by a man who had just upset a
plate of soup over his wife's new dress.
He was scratching his head perplexedly
with one hand while he held out the
two silver coins in the other.
"Oh, barin, BARN." cried he on see
ing them, lit was written for me at my
birth that ] should be unlucky, and
there's no escaping it,"
why, what's wrong?" said the cap
tain, with side glance at Courtenay's
astonished face.
"I've mixed the two coins," answered
Michael. in heart-broken tones, land
now don't know which was the one
for the bread and which was the one
for the cheese. e."-Harper's Magazine.