Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1888-06-27

WIZ. -
uE EA6 M3RE TIME FOR IT.
"HeE.y, dear" SD . guuG wife, ~
ala .ftald your brctaer Daliel plays the
foo! mOIs than he USED to" "WeH,
ylS,' replied Gor husband, 81 guess he
does. Y0u see the days &re growing
longer"
ONLY TIDE BOOKKEEI Err KNOWS.
Nj soD, don't jump 81 Conclusions
when you see a msA going 10 the OaEk
vita his head in the air and the ends Of
two tWeI'iss Cstenta,!ous!Y sticking out
between The leaves OF MS bs1k bO0k. He
may nos b. Going to deposit $500 in
twenties. de may be going to take up g
ninety cay uole That i so clCsa to pro
test .lat the recording angel is liateling
to hear the notary swear.
EVERYBODY PLEASED.
"Billy, old boy, you l1oG ike summer
mgInLg. WEats happened 10 glorify
yor?" Tommy, old Ee!low, congralu-
late re. l proposed tc Mss F.yaway
last night snd eEe accepted NE !" "ShAke,
old m2p. So she did mel"
AMODKRN SOCIALIST.
YES, Mr.. Dillon. = nan ought to own
the IsEd he WORKS. We go even further
Than that. We think that he should own
the cSr he rides III AID the hotel a. Waich
he stops. o. with the good work!
Since the inspectors became SO strict
the butchers complain inst they don't
make calf so much money on bob veal as
formerly.
OR MAKING CIRCULATION AFFIDAVIT.
TesCner-F0r What WAS Ananias struck
desdf
New Boy Qlom Kapsss)-For publish
Ing th5 Signal SeIvIce predictions.
HE WAS PROOF READER.
Traveller (who has been waiting two
loEg houcS Tor the only paper ct Lost
man's JQECtioI WHATS Ia the paper to.
cay, sU? Busy Reader OHIO hiss Deen
dCv. ar!ug j)-Three "ou.s," ten bat
tered type, fur "wrcng IJnts," no end
OF bad spacing SID turned 8. Traveller
seems ~ DC CRAFTY edited. =
FLIES TOO FAST FOR Us.
''Tima f,ss," remarked Busyman,
weeIily. "Csn'5 do it," snid LsZoCy
owe tried for half IN hour TO time this
slow fellow ticking my osiG hesd, sud be
Is clear a.Cund ne tEEck and # for 8 new
heat before you cln spring = stcpWstch
OF him"
FAITH AND WORKS.
"Mammo, - ssid Aloert, "do you believe
in the fsira Cure?'' eyes, dear" satd
nsmma, "zad l practi ce y, 700" MAN
ms" continued the boy, feeling his camp
hair uuessiiV, "if boy goes & spinning
AID than lies about If, can you c2se hin Of
lying by fsitL?" "Nc, desr,r sstd msm-
ms, sweetly, "thst vice is cured by lay
Ing OF OF hands" And in ten minutes
thereafter Alder: vas the best cured Boy
on all Long IslsEd, ana mamma was put
ting OF hsE slipper with the sir Of G wo-
man who knows all ABOUT lesther-a2I. it's
application TO the human system.
REysRIEs OF LUNATIC.
NJ, Grorge; the bridge Of a., violin is
not ponGoon bridge. "Is it bridge Of
signs, them" Yes, G2orge; Of sIghs and
walls snd means and misery and mad
ness. d. you rI3y, Gorge? Then it
would be s good idea fG you to go cut
some night 5nd serensse the asylum for
the deal and dunno. Hth!nk they'd ike
to hear yen.
DON'T LAUGH AT THE LONG POCKET
BOOKS.
Mrs. Mahlstic5, wna would lie down !
srd Gle ii s1e couldn't DC in the style, |
has been sh1pping. Returning home she |
drops YEARLY into cnsir and, opening |
hsr new long p0chet-book, takes from it |
) thermometer, g fan, psrosol, new
broom for the kitchen and q trout rod for |
Fred VINO is going TO the mountains.
GIVE THIN SOMETHING NEW.
Among the religious announcements II |
and Oregon newspaper is one stating that |
on "SundGy evening the psstor will read |
Ber Hur's description CT the crucfX. !
ION" Well, that's sill right. That's g |
good description. Some time, when the |
pastor is looking sroGld for novelties for
his congregation, he might run scross
tolersbiy fair descr ption Il the, crucifx.
lon written bY DR.. Luke, which might
be new TO bis people. Ii is sometimes
read in the pulpit. and there would be
nothing ct Gil wrong, or IN questionable
taste, Ia reading II RS s portion OF the
Sunday evening service.
THR RIGHT NAN IN TIE HIGHT PLACE
az would consider dyspepsia G sslls-
factory Justification and excuse for muir
DER" said the juror, frntY. "Wha's
that, sir" exclaimed the court, SHARPLY;
ado you mean to say thst you would not
coIvict q murderer because he had dys-
pepsis when he committed his crime?
You may be excused" "You misunder-
stand me-" said the juror; frT'Rould fad
him innocent if the man he killed had the
dyspepsia" "Ah, yes" said the court:
'fthss is. satisfactory. You'll do" He ,
went On the papel, and before night he
had helped to hspe .msn who hsd been
! candidate for flee eigat times and L
,sd.sent TO the penl,ehtisry for lie man5
Who hsd written two pamphlets CT the
arif. -. ..
THE FIRST SHALL BE LAST.
As rule, the Oldest inhst;.sRs is not
he most prosperous man in the PLACE.
lie doesn't often make use OF his eafly
opportunities, he doesn't invest wisely,hs1
lAsn't the faith in his claim nor the new
own that later Corners h.ve. And so the I
lev men Who made the boom snd epgin- \