Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1888-07-07
CARL DUNDER.
Looks Like ZONE More Jobs on the Old
Philosopher.

Oh! yes! you are the man who was
never coming down here again r' ex-
claimed Sergeant Bendall yesterday as Carl
Dunder entered the station.
"Nhell, / dunno. Maybe l like to
| spheak nit you a leedle"
"Speak on. | suppose you have been
swindled again."
Sergeant, MAYBE you know how she
vhas himself someday. Maybe you go
oafer by Shermany, und when you vhas
dere you find dot nottings vhas two times
alike"
"Well, go ahead"
" Do some letter-carriers 90 aboudt nit
oudt uniform on p
Yes-new ones"
| "Vhell, man comes in my place the
odder morning und gifts me letter. Dot
vhas all right. She vhas letter from
some tailor dot makes clothes VERY sheap.
Dot same man comes in der next morning
nit some odder letter. He says she vas
registered, und l hat to sign my name und
pay feefty cents"
=" see"
"Vhell, | pay, und it vhas circular
dot if want some orange groves for $40
shall go to Florida. Was dot all right ?"
" 1t was put-up Job to swindle you out
of half dollar"
But if get dot orange grove for $40
| | vhas ahead ?"
Hump! Anything else happen? %
Vhas Cleveland to be President
again."
He has been renominated."
Doee he make new postoffice for De-
troit ?"
ave are to have one some time during
the next century. Do you want to be
Postmaster W
No, but a man comes in my place der
| odder day und SAYS vhas l Carl Dunder?
lvhas. Half | some son named Shake?
hat. Please call him in. l calls Shake
in, und dot man measures him NIT a tape
line, looks at his tongue, feels his neck
und says:
"'She vhas all right Mr. Dunder, you
vhas Cleveland man, hear
! az vhas'
"'Und you like to hat Shake be some
boss in der building of dot postoffice und
earn 81 day.
"' shall
He takes his name, age, weight und
der color of his hair, und we hat some beer
und cigars. Some udder fellers come in,
und [ treat 'em also. Some more fellers
come in, und Shake says he likes to make
1t all right. Dot crowd almost clean me
oudt All der afternoon und evenings
somepody comes in und says
Hellol old man, but dot vhas all
right Shake vhas good poy, und dot
shob belongs to him. Here yhas to your
good luck p"
Has Jake got it YETI"
"Vell, he goes oafer by dot big hole in
der ground und stays aroundt, but nopody
shpeaks to him.
Can't you and Jake get into that hole
and bury yourselves
"Why vhas dot ?"
"To save you from the next swindler
It's wonder you haven't lost your teeth"
Does dot mean ] vhas some green
| horns2"
"Does it? l should smiIe!"
like to shmile, too, but | can't When
| tells Shake he Will feel awful badt |
like you to look at dis gas bill leedle."
Certainly. This bill shows that you
burned s. worth of gas in May"
" But | can't make her oudt. Aboudt
der middle of May 4 young man comes in
my place nit 4 lantern in his hand und
goes py dot gas meter. When he comes
AWAY he says: Mr.. Dunder, | vhas
leedle hard oop to-day, und if you can let
me hat 81 | gif you all der gas you can
burn dis month";"
"And you let him have it?"
" Well, | like to oblige somepody, don't
T."
"But you have discovered that he was
fraud ?"
Yes, but can help dot? Can | call
eaferypody lier und tief? Can | slump
on eafery mans colarT'
But you must have better Judgment"
Snudgment. Yhen an expressman
comes und pellet he vhas swindle, und
knock him oafer, dot is shudgment. When
he comes again und | schmites on him, he
leafs me big shtone und collects 81. Dot
vhas more shudgment! One time some
one comes py me to collect money for der
orphans, und you laugh und say l vhas
greenhorns. Der next day somepody
comes by me to collect money for der poor,
und | knock his head of, und you like to
send me to shall! Shudgment | like to
see somepody hat some shudgment in dis
country. Sergeant, good day. / hat some
shudgment dot | advertise my place for
sale sheap, und some more shudgment dot
| go pack to Shermany right avhay."-
Detroit Free Press.