The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1888-07-27
Bil Nye Oh Wax

NV York's great congress Of wax
figures and statuary carnival. It Isl
quite q success. The first thing YOU
do Is TO contribute to the pedestal
fund. New York this spring ~ mostly
q large rectangular box with q hole IN
the top, through which the genial pub
lie Is cordially requested to slide .
dollar to give the Goddess Of Liberty
a boom.
was astonished and appalled, az the
wealth Of apertures in Gotham through
which / was expected to slide a dime
to assist some deserving object Every
little while you run into q free lunch
room where there is a model ship that
will start up and operate IL you feed
il with a nickle. / never visited 3
town that offered somany Inducements
for early and judicious investments So
New York.
But we were speaking OF the wax
works. did nor tarry long tosnotice
the Presidents Of the United States
embalmed In wax. or to listen to the
band of lutists who furnished music ia
the winter garden. ascertained
where the Chamber Of Horrors was
located, and went there at nee. 1t 10
lovely. / have never seen a mor sue
cessful aggregations Of horrors uoder
one roof and at one price OF admission.
IL you want to be shocked at cost or
have your pores opened for a merely
nominal price, and seq a show that
you will never forget as long as you
live, that is the place to find it. Inev
er invested my money go as to get SO
large a return for it. because / frequent
ly see the whole show yet In the mid
die of the night, and the cold p%erspira~
ton nipples down my spinal column
just as it did the first time / saw IT.
The Chamber OF Horrors certainly
furnishes a very durable show. lhaye
known men to pay out thousands Of
dollars for a collection Of delirium
tremens and new laid horrors no bet.
ter than these that you get on week
days for fifty cents and on Sundays for
two bits. Certainly New York Is the
place where you get your moneys
worth.
There are horrors therein that crypt
that are we'll worth double the price
Of admission. One peculiarity Of the
Chamber Of Horrors Is than you finally
get nervous when anyone touches you,
and you immediately suspect he is a
horror who has come out Of his crypt
to get a breath Of fresh air andstretch
his legs.
That Is the reason / shuddered \
little when / felt q mans hand IN my
pocket. II was so unexpected, and
the surroundings were such thar +
must have appeared startled. The
man was a stranger to me, though 1
could see that he vas a perfect gentles
man. His clothes were superior TO
NINE in every way, and be had a GER
tain refinement of manners which be-
trayed his ill-concealed Kpickerbocker
high lineage,
I said, .sSir, o will find my fine
cut tobacco In the other pocket"
This startled him SO that he wheeled
about and wildly dashed INTO the arms
Of a wax policeman near this door.
When lie discovered that no was in the
clutches Of q suit OF secondhand
clothes filled with wax, he seemed to.
be greatly annoyed apd strobe rapid
ly away.
I returned 10 view q chaste and
truthful scene where one man had
successfully killed another man with
a club. I leaned pensively againgt q
/ column with my W spinal column,
wrapped in thought.
Pretty soon q young gentleman from
New Jersey with an Adams apple On
him like a full-grown yam, and accom-
panied by a young lady also from the
mosquito junglrs Of Jersey touched
sme on the bosom with his umbrella'
and began to explain me to his com
panion.
ssThis." said the Adams apple with
the young man attached 10 II. lis
Jesse James, the great outlaw CHEZ Of
Missouri. How life-like he IS. Little
weuld Won think, Emeline, that he
would as soon disembowel q bank. Kill
the entire board Of directors Of = rail-
road company and ride of the rolling
stock as yon would wrap yourself
around a doughnut. How tender and
kind be looks. He not only looks gem
tie. and peaceful. but he looks 70 me
as il he wasn't real bright"
/ then uttered q piercing shrek ana
the young man from New Jersey went
away. Nothing Is 50 embarrassing To
an eminent man as to stand quietly
near and hear people discuss him.
But it Is remarkable to see people
get fooled at a wax show. Every day
a wax figure is taken for q live man,
and live people mistaken for wax. i
took hold Of a waxen hand IN one cor.
OF the winter garden to see II the ring
was a real diamond. and il aew up and
took me across the ear Ia such 4 life-
like manner that my ear IS still hot
aud there is . roaring in my head that
sounds very disagreeable indeed.
NeU York Mercury.