Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1888-01-25
COURTED BY A CORPSE.
An Embalmed Body Utilized as an
Advertisement.
Speaking Tube That Seemed to Make
the Dead Talk-A Spinster Who
Thought That Pale Gentleman
Was Making Love to Her.


Francisco gentleman who was on q visit
! TO this coast from the East. He was ap-
| parently person who commanded suf-
! hcient means for all the ordinary pur-
poses OF life, but when he died, says the
| San Francisco Alta, only q small sum Of
money was found in his possession. His
| relatives were communicated with, and
instructions came from his wife to have
the body embalmed, preparatory to ship
ment to his old home in the East This
was done, and the bill, representing rath-
er steep figure, forwarded to the griev-
| ing widow. The sum so far exceeded her
expectations that she Indignantly refused
to pay for it, and the corpse was left on
| the hands Of the undertaken. This gentle
man had read somewhere that in q similar
case down i'm Arizona the conductor of
| funerals had utilized the corpse left on his
hands as an advertisement for his trade.
Acting upon this suggestion, he had the
cadaver in question taken from the neat
| metallic coffin to which il had been fitted,
and, dressed up in a Prince Albert suit,
| adjusted to a sitting position in an arm
chair in the back parlor of his establish
ment.
| So perfectly had the embalming been
accomplish that, with the exception Of
the grayish pallor which overspread the
|
life. This circumstance suggested to an
ingenius young man connected with the
| undertaking establishment the idea OF
utilizing the corpse for entertaining visit
! ors. To this end, the chair in which it
| sat was placed against a thin partition,
which had been previously pierced for the
! reception of q speakng-tube. This was
so arranged that the tube rested against
the coat-collar of the corpse. By speak
ing through this from the other side of
! the partition, in the dim light of the back
parlor, to the casual observer it appeared
as il the corpse was talking.
Fortunately, however, the upright po-
sition and graceful poise of the body of
this interesting person led all who looked
upon it to conclude that it was only a
middle-aged gentleman sitting there at
| his ease. But this was not all. The un-
! dertaker's ingenious clerk had attached
to the right arm of the corpse the wire of
a galvanic battery, and, by the proper
manipulation of the instrument, he could
cause the arm to rise or fall or gently
curve around any object near it.
One day a spinster lady of uncertain
age came INTO the parlor to make some in
quiries relative to a prospective funeral.
AS she entered, the corpse, which she sup
posed to be a WELL dressed visitor, grace
his side, where a vacant chair was ready
for her service.
Take a seat, miss, sit here Indicating
the chaTl. / am charmed to have the
pleasure of seeing in this desolate apart
ment lady of such fascinations."
"You are very polite, ! am sure" MUIR
INJURED the flattered fair one.
II make it point my DEAR" con tinued
the corpse, ITO note every beautiful face
that comes into this room. You must
know that remain here all the time, night
and day, and my only happiness consists
in receiving and entertaining the occa-
sional visitor"
"Why, how curious! You stay here all
the time?"
"All the time, my dear, night and day.
In fact, / never leave this CHAIR" softly
and sadly remarked the dead man.
"Are you doing a penance, sirf" in
quired the lady.
"Oh, no; the undertaken is my jailer."
For q single mome ent the lady was
frightened. The thoSght occurred to her
that she was in the presence of maniac,
and thrill of apprehension shot through
her heart. But the calm, serene face reas-
| sured her, and when the corpse gently
raised its rig ht arm and calmly encircled
her waist, she no longer doubted its
sanity.
"You are very beautiful, my dear"
| sighed the middle-aged cadaver.
"Oh, sir, how strangely you talk" and
the lady blushed to the tips of her pink
like ears.
"You see, my dear, to a lonely man
like myself, condemned to sit day after
day in this darkened chamber, su ch q
lovely vision as yourself comes to melike a
CLEAN of sunlight. l trace In your fair
face some of the sweetest memories of
my youth, when in long by-gone years
was loved and was beloved in return.
When you entered this dreary place a
moment ago you seemed to bring me a
vision of the beautiful world which lies
beyond the threshold I am never allowed
to pass, and nay withered heart turned to
you with an emotion of delight"
1t must not be supposed that the lady
listened to these bold words without sweet
and tender reflections upon the possibiIi-
ties they might lead to. Nevertheless she
deprecated the dead mans enthusiasm
and insisted that he was speaking unad-
visedly. Still she turned upon him
tender glance. which would have had any
thing but a chill ing effect upon the ardor
of variable wooer. 1t seemed to send
fire through the veins of the dead man.
The arm frightened around her waist His
words grew musical and soft.
81 see in you, my DEAR" continued the
! corpse, "the embodiment of all my dreams
of bliss. If l only had your sweet COM
panionship in this dssolate room its gloom
would take the hue of radi ant sunshine.
and i should be content to sit here for.
ever warmed by your smiles and glad
dened by the tender glance of your
eyes"
"Oh, SIR" sighed the lady
tsCun ha
raptured dead man, ''that You reciprocass
my passion, that YOU will be miner"
The fair head was gently inclining to
the shoulder Of the corpse when the under.
taker entered. The lady screamed. The
corpse sat upright
"Why, how Is this?v exclaimed the az
tonished dealer in cofins.
"Oh, sir" gasped the fair one. ssthis
gentleman has been talking so very
strangely"
''Talking!" shouted the undertakes
why, you must be madi How can a
dead man talky"
"Deadw screamed the lady.
why, yes; look at him. Lord heln
you'll You have been courted by a
corpse.'
The astonished spinster cast one fond
despairing look on the ashen face of her
wooer, aud hinging her arms above her
head, cried piteously: Heavens! Does
my beauty charm the dead?n and tainted
awav.
A Misleading Bailetin.
Mr.. Sheehy, OF the Wabash, has imported
the following story from England A man