The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1888-05-24
ROsEBUDS OF MARRIAGE.
Harriet spofford tells When Girls Should
Marry.
From the Ncm IIork World.


married state is that in which the great.
est happiness is possible; and it might
be inferred, then, that one cannot enter ii
too carly. But those who may recall the
son Matthew in "Pilgrim's Progress,
who made himself i'll by eating green
applcs-grcen apples which might have
been wholesome and delicious had he
waited until they were ripe-can recall
an illustration quite contradictory of such
inference.
Fortunate for him, as it may seem to
the mother of son, if her boy shall
marry early, yet his instances is q siDgu.
lar one if, on reaching something less
than middle age, he has not dropped his
wife 80 far unmarried, having nurse, a
houselecper, humble friend, possibly Il
slave, but certainly no companion, nc
wife, in The wide sense of the word. His
early marriage may have been superb.
cially considered, an advantage to his
morality, and so to his health; but
when the mother has brought up her
boy, as it is her duty to do, to under.
stand that the same personal purity is
required of him that is required Of her
girl, and that his passions are so to be
under the same control that his sisters
are, at whatever age, then the question of
that morality will no. enter into the
affair at all.
But however the mother Of son may
look at the subject Of early marriages, the
mother Of a daughter is justified, il seems
to me, in rather decided opposition 10
them. If, instead of being a great and
happy portion of the school of life, mar
riage constituted the whole Of it, or life
existed only for the sake of marriage, still
those entering its portals must be the
better for suitable preparation. 1 am
unable to suppose that at the age of~1S
or 30 any preparation has been sufficient.
The age is lovely in its tenderness and
enchanting with It's illusions; but Wis
dom wesrs scverer face and marriage
deals with stern facts. Some girls there
may be, Of rare ability, who are comre.
tent to take upon their young shoulders
The responsibility of a house, its work or
tbs direction Of those who do its work,
the oversight of a husbands wardrobe,
the bearing and nursing Of children, the
physical attention to them il health and
in sickness, sud The daily direction of
their moral aud mental education togeth.
er with all the other indoor aud outdoor
cares Incidental to the position of one
who is the head OF family, and who
has the happiness of home and a
husband on her heart and conscience.
But these cases are few and exceptional,
aud great multitudes of girls under 20 are
not equal TO Ia such q strain upon ncr1e
and muscle without an arrest Of develop
ment. y :ew years later they may
remember themselves at that age as still
children they may feel some reproach
towards thoso who laid upon them then
burden greater than children should bear.
Even were skill, experience, discretion
well established, industrious habits firm
ed, universal belonging Of The maiden
of is or 20 years, thiul; it would be as
much q cruelty to demand all this exer-
ton of hor as it would be if size wcrc six
or eight years younger.
Before 20 q girl has hardly had the
chance to receive the complete iuslruc.
ton from text books to which she has
right, to say nothing OF the domestic
education of the kitchen, the needle, the
sick room she has had little chance to
learn anything of the world Of human
nature; she has in!uitions, not expert
ences she has lived more with dreams
and ideals than with realities. She
may make a charming wife at first
and q tender mother always, maternal
instilc! aud solicitade taking the place
Of all the superiority that added years
might have given. But she must stop
there, taxed to the utmost; she las no
time for strength and perhsps-as incli-
nation grows by use-no inclination to
read, to study, - keep pace with a
hus band S advance or even to appreciate
it. | will no! sag tha' when, in q few
years, she has no more q fresh color and
smooth face, when pretty toilet no
longer becomes her, thai The husband
who continues 10 cherish her will take
credit to himself for doing so; but it is
evident that she encounters the danger
of this feeling OH his part. Nor do l
think il an argument worth mentioning
that the woman early married, is so
moulded and bent to her husbands will
that clashiug and incompatibiiity become
impossible; because in marriage tie
rights and sacrifices should be mutual,
and will tot 50 insult tho husband IS
to suppose him unreasonable enough for
this moulding 10 be necessary, or selfish
enough to wish thus to suppress indiril-
uality, unable to find pleasure himself
in remuneration Or negligence of civilized,
not 10 say Christian duty.
Charming wife and tender mother as
she may be, however, it is not to be
doubted that when her education is more
thorough and her experience more
extended, she will be Il nober wife and
4 far better mother. She will have lost
somo sohcning trihc Of the arrogance of
youth; vanity, levity, love of admiiatiC n,
will have been so chas!ened SIS not to
play the par! Of Deaths hands at the
feast she will have learned self sacrifice
and forbcarance; she will have acquired
tact and discretion and Tie sacred art of
silence she will hgvc become harmoni.
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