The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-06
BRIGHT BITS.

Il DIDN'T know it was loaded, l." remarked the
mule when he didn' succeed in pulling a street
car IN the hill Washington d. CO critic.
THE Sunday Budget reminds us that this is
Leap Year and drops into poetry thus;
Now the bashful young man, who, afraid,
The question to pop, has delayed,
WIN be heard oft to sigh
When the dear one is nigh
AS a delicate hint 10 the maid.
Mrs CATERS Footman-Here's card, me
Teddy.
Mrs. Gayter.--Tm awfully busy Who is it at
this time of the day.
Footman-I'm not much at readin' me Teddy;
but | kin mex out you're mem foorst an thin
DR.. an putin tn two together OF ting IL sthe
docther wants 10 see you, me leddy.-Judge.
Az UNNATURAL NorHER.-'I believe I've got
the me1nest ma In Texas.
What did she do:'
Just before CHRISTMAS she put me into long
trousers. She did that so would have to wear
short stockings that wouldn' cost much TO MI.
What do you say 70 that for meanness: She'd
make a nice step mother, she would. '-IeTds
SUtings.
WIFE Ito husband who has just returned from
Europe)-Did you see anybody whom you knew
on your way uptown, dear:
Husband saw Brown. He said was look
ing thinner than when went away
Wife-Anybody else
HusbandEYes met Robinson. He thought
from the amount of flesh had gained that my
trip must have done me good.-Epoch
AMERICAS LEISURE CLASS Miss Jones very
patrioticl-Wen, what do you think OF America,
Sir Reginald?
Sir Reginald Peasblossom "a newly imported
artice)-Ah America is not so very bad; but
you-aw-have no leisure class heah-no leisure
class, ye know.
Miss Jones-Oh, indeed we have, Sir Reginald;
we have our messenger boys, you knOw.-Hdr-
peT'S BdzdT.
How sweet it is in foreign lands
To meet a friend who knows you,
Who rushes up, with outstretched hands,
And almost Overthrows you
But, oh. how sad, when that same friend,
Whose Joyous greetings thrill you,
EXclaims, as you both hands extend,
Lend me ten dollars, will youE'
Boston Journal Of Education.
OMAHA HUsBAND-My dear, do you know it is
the fashion now to have big clock at the head
WifewYes, I know; but ours is not going
there
why not?'
"A clock at that point is not necessary. When
you come home late III always be standing at
the head Of the stairs to tell you what time 1t
s'-OH,chd World
PARTICULAR CUSTOMER am afraid that but
ter you speak Of is too cheap to be good.
Grocer-It's regular dairy butter. madam;
we'll have another lot in tomorrow. Let me
send you some.
Has it good keeping qualties?''
* epug qualities? Why, madam, the lady
that runs the big boarding house next door told
me she never had butter that lasted as long as
this does '-Omdhd World.
HosTEss-My dear Miss Howler won't you
sing something for u.s. I'm afraid people are
finding things fearfuly dull.
Miss Howier-Really. Mrs. Brown, I'm afraid
you must excuse me; I'm awfully hoarse to-
night
Hostess-Oh. my dear, that won't make the
slightest difference. Nobody will listen, for
they'll oil begin to talk directly you begin to
sing and just want something to start the
conversati on Boston Beacon.
UNCLE ZEB visiting niece)Maria, put on
your wraps and come with me for a drive. My
carriage is at the door
Young Wife--Please excuse me, uncle Ihave
been shovelng the snow of the walks, carrying
in coal and emptylng ashes, and am too tired
to dress
Uncle Zeb-H'm. Where's George?
Young Wife-He's at the gymnasium, practic-
ing on the lifting machine. Poor dear George
has to have some exercise, you know.-Er-
change.