The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1888-07-07
PuNoENT PARAGRAPHS.


The P'reno'ogicat Journal says.
SIN choosing wife, be governed by
her chin" Amin is apt to be gov
srned by the san, thing after he gets
wife. -Tniiaaa Fyp,cr.
--"Are there too many doctorsp"
asks an exchange. No, there are not
half enough. but there are too many
men pretending to be doctors who are
not.-Hiladclphia Inquirer.
-Judge-"You say you want di-
vorce from your wife?" "Yes, il your
honor please" but reflect for a mo-
ment that you have lived together
nearly half u century" "Well, haven't
I suffered long enough hp''-Teras Sitl-
ings.
-Smithers - Miss Parker sings
much better than she used to. Her
course at the Conservatoire has i'm
proved her considerably" Wilkins
''Improved? W.ll. I should say so!
She knows when to stop now. ."-Hdr-
per's Bazar.
A popular poet begins verse with
"Softer than silence, stiller than still
air;" and yet, as might be supposed,
this does not describe man whose wife
has talked at him for four hours steady.
dorchester Post-ErpreSs.
--''Young man, he said. "why don't
you give up this life Of idleness and
luxury and try to make II name for
yoursclf?' "Twy and make name
for MYSELF Why. my deah sir, my lit
tie English foxhound took the first
pwizcat the dog show, B'iover'-M Y
| Sun.
-'Have you seen Mrs. HIS new dia-
monds?" queried a female caller of her
| friend. Eyes, indeed, and | should
| think she would-be ashamed of them.
They are not larger than peas, and did
you notice the flaws in both of them as
big as hickory nuts? ?r-Elmira Gazette.
Clara exhibiting photograph
"How do you like it?' Hattie--'It's
perfectly lovely" "You think it
good likeness?" 80, no; it doesn't
look a particle like you, you know; but
wouldn't mind that, Clara; you are
not likely to have such luck again if
you sat II thousand times. ."-Boston
| Transcript.
| An American tramp fell from a
ferry boat the other day, and by the
time he was rescued he was washed so
clean he was ashamed of himself and
skunk away to Il lumber-yard to wait
for pitying night to hide him. If he
| will just go to some mountain resort
| that advertises mo dust" he will soon
| look like his old self.-Burdette.
mo-" said the housemaid, II
| don't apologize to a man when throw
a bucket of water down the front steps
| to wash 'em and he comes along and
gets drenched. I've tried apologizing,
but I've found there's nothing you can
say to man in that ease that will
satisfy him. '-Scranton Truth.
Mamma Uo daughtel)-"Di he
propose?' Daughter-'No, but he did
the next best thing to it. Mamma.
"What do you mean?" Daughter--"He
| kissed me and squeezed my waist, and
Mary and Tommy saw him. mann
ma-..Get your things on at once, my
darling We can get down to Mr..
Briefs before the courts close if we
hurry. ."-Town Topics.
Reporter Go statesman) "Will
you be Il candidate for--n States
man-''Excuse me, young man, but
have nothing to say, am entirely in
the hands of my friends" Reporter
"Do you think that your health is
sufficiently robust to under-h States
man-''Nothing to say, young man,
nothing to say. My health is also in
the hands of my friends. ."-Epoch.
Tommy said the old gentleman,
sternly. 81 understand that you were
hanging about the polo grounds this
afternoon, instead of being at school.
/ won't have you wasting your time in
that way. What on earth could you
see or hear by peelling through Il knots
hole in the fence?" Il could see YOU,
pa" responded Tommy, ''settin' ON the
gran stand, an shoutin' Good boy.
Dannvr'-YiH-B Bits