Semi-weekly south Kentuckian., 1888-09-14
Free Whisky.
rsunsetCox.

How can you go out and answc
the questions pertinent to this cam
psign without entangling alliance
and confused ideas!
Some tax payer, tired of your pro
tective exactiOns, asks. ... ....
"Why should only 2,73S, sos people
the pets of protection. be favored q
the expense of over 70 per cent. o
their 6O000,000 fellow citizens.
What for? The voice from the still
warm with tears of widows and or
phans-huskily answers-"For fret
whisky. ?"
"Why should we not cheaper cloth
es, blankets, and carpets by admitting
wool free, since the woolen mills have
a capacity for 600000,000 pounds
and only 240,00000O pounds are rails
ed at home.
The answer comes like the bleat O
thousand flocks, Before clothes, OF
blankets, or carpets, take free whis'
KY" t. ...
But says an honorable recusant Re-
publican from Minnesota:
"Worthier, better and juster il
seems to my mind would il be to give
to our people, the toiling masses,
cheaper food, cheaper fuel, cheaper
clothing, cheaper shelter, cheaper be-
cause released from the heavy and
unnecessary burden of high taxes"
"Pshaw," said the hide bound pro-
tectionist, "these articles must remain
taxed to vindicate the American sys-
tem." That system has as its genius
free whisky.
a tax payer inquiries of you:
Have not the American people
paid in sixty years over S20,00O000,-
600 in the hope of getting goods
cheaper by and by, after the infants
have attained their maturity? What,
my Republican brother, viii you
now do?"
The brother answers, "Free whis-
KY"
alas invention done nothing for
us ?" asks the impoverished mechan-
ic. "What do you show us as the re-
suit of our American genius for a
century in mechanics 2"
The answer comes: ave tender
you the worm in the still, the finest
invention of the devil. 1t may take
away your brains and impoverish
your families, but protection must
stand We offer you untaxed, chesp,
free whisky"
Another inquirer asks, "Why do
you not take the tax off my coat of
reversible nap'?"
The answer comes, "Protection
first, but always free whisky"
An old lady of West Virginia asks
with anxiety, "Why must | pay GO
cents in addition to every dollar for
the crockery from which l drink my
sassafras tea? ?"
"Ah," says the protectionist, ais
not whisky better than tea?"
A series of questions and answers
might be fired off in the following
order:
care you going to allow that re-
duction proposed by the Mills bill
from AZ per cent duty to 40 on car
pets"
mo, but we will repeal the tax on
cigarettes for your young boys, and
add free whisky"
"Won't you support that reduction
of 10 per cent, on cotton goods p
mo, out l would love to lower the
whisky tax"
"Won't you reduce the tax on cas-
tor oil below l94 per cent.-its pres
ent rate 2"
"No, 1 won't condescend to help
anybody but those who want the
cost of whisky reduced
"Please help us reduce the tax on
cheap wolen cloth from 50 per cent,
to 40 per cent, as Mills proposes
will younot?"
mo, do not want to engage in
any thing else till have taken the
tax of ninety cents gallon from
whisky"
eve are making a last effort TO re-
duCe the duty on wool hats from 81
per cent. Cheap hats. Won't you help
us?"
"No, sir; the Republican platform
doesn't say anything about cheap
hats. 1t does advocate taking tax
from whisky, and stand by the plat
form"
."The worsted goods for my family
is taxed 6S per cent. Help me pull
that down to l0cents, will you not p
ANo, sir; lei your worst goods goto
grass! Whisky is more than a dol
lar a gallon. l want to take the
ninety cent gallon tax offit."
t"Now, my friend, the Mills bill
proposes to take eleven and one half
millions tax Off of sugar; won't you
help us to pass it?7 .e
+ENo, for l don't propose to cheaper
whisky one cent"
at makes salt free, Won't you
favor that ~
"Is salt whisky? Salt amt in our
platform" gy.
at makes tin, of which our tin
stove vessels and cans, and roofs are
made, free won'tyou give us that ?"
"Tin is not in the platform; whis-
ky is"
at makes lumber for our homes to
keep us warm free. Won't you favor
thatw
"No, I want to legislate to warm
the inner man, not the outer one.
Give us free whisky" When these
questions are answered, let me read
MS a summing mp TO the gentlemen
what was said by am old farmer
friend of mine in Iowa. lie hsd
evidently been perusing Sydney
Smith on taxation
II never wore any clothes that
were not Increased in price by this
policy Dof making an almshouse of
every possible factory. fused TO rise
on Sunday morn from my humble
.ylbI9
.--...s.