Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1888-12-07

A leader of men is often follow her.
Tic was only finished gymnast when
he fell from the trapcze and broke his
neck.
Very often the "NIay II" of courtship
is answered by tho "You must" of matri-
mony.
In teaching boy drawing give him tho
premises and let him draw his own con-
illusions.
In all the vocabulary of quarantine
there is no such word us hospitality
Picayune.
That bread riot in France was partci-
pated in by loafcrs. Ptt.sjurq ChT0ntcic-
Telegraph.
When poverty Established, what hard
time every one will have doing all his
own work.
TO not insult the under man in n fight
by reminding him that there is plenty of
room on top.
No wonder there is deceit about The
national game, when the baseball player
wears mask.
If the hired girl is frozen to death in
the ice chest, would it be proper to shy
that the refrigcr ate herr"
Money makes the mare go, and some.
times the marc makes the money 90,
| notably at the races.-Life.
The hymn sung at the funeral of tho
late Mr.. Crowley was; al Was Only a
Chim-panzcc Blossom. - World.
Barber-"iIave you got a private mug,
sirf" Nictim-"Ihave. want you 10
go over it carefully. "-Lom:U Citizen.
Burglars and thieves arc getting so
bold in Chicago that the policemen arc
having their silver plated badges scwcd.
Notorious spendthrift 10 waiter at
restaurant-'liow much do l owel"
Waitcr-"That's moro than can tell"
In Texas man rarely cuts an ac-
quaintancc, but n sirnngcr from the East
has to be mighty careful. -Ha1Yor's
Ba:dr.
The man who falls out of balloon
realizes the gravity OF the situution be-
fore he has dropped five miles. -Narp.r's
Bdzar.
The difference between being burned
out and fired out is that in tie former
case you get the insurance. -Dansuals
Brce.e.
Tom-"Do you know, Jack, that
woodpccker reminds me of my tailor"
Jack-"Whyl Because he bores so with
his BILL"
The proverb says that the good die
young. But if that's so, what q hard
lot of sinners these old folks must bel
ISmitheille (Ga.) Ne,cs.
A man that marrieS q widow is bound
to give up smoking and chewing. If
she gives up her weeds for him, he
should give up the weed for her. st.
Louis Uum0rist.
The leaflets brown and scarlet
Arc losing all their grip;
They ilutter from the branches,
And down the breezes slip,
While the robin packs his singlet
And SCOOPS to Mississippi.
Old Mans Darling Gmploring)-"Ten
me the worst, doctor. Believe me, can
stand it." Smart Doctor (doubtfully)-
II don't koow about that. However
nerve yourself, then, madame. YOU
husband will get well. "-.Siiings.
Too High II aluation: Customer (ts
bird fancierJ-"aIy wife wants parrot.
WHAT'S the lowest you will take for thai
bird" Bird Fan .er-''.ifty dollars,
sir. is rock bottom" Parrot-"Come
off, you've tried to sell me for twcntym
Life.
A cat market has been started in Paris
which has led some one to prophcsy a
unique market report, running thus:
Tabbies, dull; toms, buoyant; kittens,
lively; Angoras, depressed; brindlcd,
very brisk; Persians, in great demand
tortoiseshells, heavy.--Nelo York Post.
Impatient IIusbnnd--"Where in the
world have you been2 1 want my din
ner." Wife, ne, John, but I
ran down to the Sewing Society at five,
and to my surprise it didn't wind up
until c'ght. Husband--"Yo mean it
was wound up Mt five and didn't 1un
down till eight. "--iSW.
A new appointed crier in county
court in Australia, where there are many
Chinese, was ordered by the Judge to
summon witness to the stand.:, "Call
for All Song" was the command. Pat
was puzzled for moment; he glanced
shyly at the Judge, and found him as
grave as an undertaken. Then, turning
to the spectators, he blanlly .simpered:
"Gintlemin, would any OF you favor his
Honor with q song?"