Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-02-04
HUMOR.

A. WHISKY punch resembles an Eng
lish waitress when it is bar-made.-
Texas SiftiAgS.
IT is when schO ,lboy puts an tt
the word loy that tito spell begins tt
work.-TerGs SUtinvS.
A SHIP with salt last W eek went down.
The sea dIh crave il.
All. when the sea desires its own,
Salt will not save it!--Puck.
IT is we'll that some people study
carefully the Jaws of punctuation. They
ought to have some point to what they
write. -S1tnSnerrilie Journal.
AN excharg e says that Gettysburg
is becoming \ summe: resort. SO II
was in 1868, but it was much warmer
then.-NC1U orleans Ficdyu'1e.
"THERE's waiter in your hotel that
l never saw take tip, said patron
of an uptown caravansary. Indeed
which one was it?" "The dumb
waiter
"WHAr wonderful patience those
fishermen have!" exclaimed an idler to
a passing friend. "Hero | have been
watching that fellow for three whole
hours, and he hasn't yet had bite"
WHAT queer fellow you are, Char
ley so close about your own affairs; L
don't believe you ever talk about your
self" No; fact is, ] don't like to
NEEDLE with other peoples business. "
-BOSton TRANSCRIPT
IN our civilization" lid pretcn-
tious painter, "there is nothing we need
l.,
that we need them now," some one re-
piled, 'but we nay need them after a
WHILE "When, sir?" after we have
artists. "--ArkanSd1C TrdrclT.
GUEST at country tavern-"Have
you any cheese, landlord?" Land
lord Mot a bit in the house, sir"
Guest-"Not even little piece?"
Landlord-"By gum, there Is. come
to think Here, Pete, run down cellar
and fetch up that rat trap. "--Derou
Free Press.
A HUMpBACK met malicious one
eyed neighbor. "Ah," sad the latter,
"you have your load on your back
early this morning" "Yes," responded
the humpback, looking intently at the
one-eyed man, ait must be rather early.
| see you have only got one eye
open. "-Teras Sitings.
JAcK-You are not looking we'll,
BROMLEY. Young Erownley "a sensi-
tive plant)-No, dear boy; l caught
cold while eating some Schweitherkase
last night. Jack How could piece
of Schweitzerkase give you cold?
Young Brownley Why, Il stwong
dwaught came thwough the holes, don't
cher know.
SMITH You look little mussed up,
Brown. Brown l should say so! I've
lust had row with my mother-in-la
and I'll be hanged if she didn't put me
out of the house. The house belongs
to her, you know. Smith You told
me day or two ago that your mother
in-law was very feeble. Brownies,
1 meant feeble for her.
Mrs. MUGGs-AIuggs, you are a
wretch. Mr.. Muggs Why, why, my
dear: what - Mrs. Muggs --Do>'t
dear me, villain. Didn't you tell me
that typewriter was machine? MIR.
Mugs And so it is. Mrs. Mugs
indeed? Then why did Mrs. Wilkins
say that your typewriter had beautiful
blonde hair omaha Herald.
Mr.. MATrEEFACT Ito his late part
ner's widow)--O. yes, indeed, maam,
finer and moro obliging gentleman
never lived; and oh! ma'am (sympa-
thetically), if you could only feel that
he died Just at the right time; Indeed,
ma'am, the butter business has fallen
off sight lately, and the profits We're
very small for two very small fol
two.
a GENTLEMAN entered n phrenoto'
g.st's Office in Boston and asked to
have his head examined. After a mo-
ment's inspection the professor start.
ed back, excla;min9: Good heavens
YOU have the most unaccountable com
bination of attributes l ever discovered
in human being. We're your parents
eccentric? 2" "No, sir" replied the all
around character, meekly, "but my
wife is You needn't pay any attention
to the larger bumps, sir. "--iarIueyton
EJ,lP Press