The Washington critic., 1888-03-03
TOPICS OF THE DAY.
Senator IngallSS Experience as a
Massachusetts SChOOlmaSter,
MR.. LINCOLNS LAST LAUGH,
Some of the wits of the House
General and Personal Men
tion.

ton rs the VIII OF the House. Ills
quaint remarks and lightning repartee
keep the Members seated about him
in constant state of hilarity. A day
or two since Allen was engaged in
telling q story to a knot of Members
during roll-call. He did not hear
his name until the second call,
and then turned quickly to Con-
gresham Taulbee and inquired how
he had voted. 81 voted, mo, whis-
pered Taulbee. "No, shouted Allen
with great emphasis. "Why did you
follow Taulbee on that voter"
member inquired. "Well," replied
Allen, with quizzical smile, "Taul-
bee looks mighty like my colonel in
the late war. l followed him for four
years, and he never once led me
where there was any danger. 1 guess
Til stick to Taulbee." A reporter
recently attempted to interview Allen
on the subject of the tariff. "You
must excuse me-" said the witty Mis-
sissippian, "before | can make up
my mind on the tariff l shall have to
heal myself speak on the subieot.
Colonel Samuel t.,rfden. ir., was
in New York. This week, says the
Press p. looking after that trouble
about his dead uncle's will. Rather a
good-looking, brave-faced fellow of
80 to 35 years Of age, full of life and
vigor, he seems to be just the sort of
man that ought to have a goodly
share of the hoard that the old states
man left behind him. As far as ap-
pears on the surface of the papers,
Sam and the other heirs, except
Henry Tilden, have no interest in the
contest to overturn the will. Yet
every one knows that all the Tilden
heirs are behind Henry, who, by
starting the contest, has forfeited,
under the conditions of the will, his
share in the property. If he wins,
of course all the family will come in
for their share, himself included, and
they will all chip in for the expenses.
If he loses, Colonel Sam and the
others will make up to Henry the
$3.50 900 he has forfeited.
~.
| once went to Senator Ingalls,, says
the Globe-Demoorafs Washington cor
respondent, to get a sketch of his life,
which l had been commissioned to
obtain for cyclopedia. "You seem
to have done everything except teach
school," / said, "and edit news
paper" "No exceptions!' he said.
"Like all other Americans, I have
done both. / was editor of the Atch-
ison Champion for three years, and it
possessed one quality indispensable to
a newspaper--it was lively. Teach
ing? Yes, / dimly remember. was
16 or II, and was still going to school
-lii Hallowell, Mass, when Julia Web
ster, who taught the 'deestrick' school
across the way, was taken sick. The
committee asked me if / would
teach the school for week. said
l would. I did. Next morning l
appeared in the desk. The pupils,
some of whom were big, treated me
flippantly and declined to recognize
the majesty of my position. They
made racket and refused to obey
me. They manufactured crude sort
of papiermache in their mouths and
threw wads of it on the ceiling. They
whistled. They openly derided me,
and when they went out at recess
they spoke calumniously of me.
contemplated them sadly, but failed
to conquer them by my gentle de-
meanor. So at noon-time went down
home and asked my father, who was
q shoe manufacturer, to cut me strap
of sole leather, about feet long and
8 inches wide. He did so. I put ii
a-soak, and next morning it was
ready. The subsequent details are
somewhat vague and nebulous, but /
recall the fact that four mothers came
the next noon to have me removed
and punished for cruelty to children,
and that by the end of the week not
more than one-tenth of the original
pupils answered roll-call. was hardly
brilliant success as an educator
of the eager intellect of the
growing and bumptious boy, but
I managed to stay in the school.
house" The Senator did not Join in
my laugh, but looked meditative. 81
got $5 for that weeks work, or what.
ever you call it," he added, "the first
money that l ever earned. / bought
with that SIS set Of Whittier's works,
/ got the moneys worth out of the
hear that they had been burnt with
my home."
Wv
At the recent dinner of the Wash
ington Alumni of Bowdoin College
Senator Frye told new story about
Mr.. Evarts, which is worth repeating
Mr.. Evarts, so his colleague says, is
very dilatory. When a subject is
committed TO him in the Senate it is
likely to remain committed for long
time. He is chairman of the Library
Committee, which has not held q
meeting this session, and is not likely
to. Senator Hoar said to him one
day: "Evarts, when you have a meet
ing of the Library Committee / wish
you would inform my executors u
Certainly" was the prompt re.
sponse, 81 should be delighted TO in.
form your executors" Senator Frye
probably charged his colleague from
New York with being dilatory only
for the purpose of his story, for Mr.
Evarts is we'll known to attend dill
gently to the business before the i'm,
portant committees of which he is q
member-that of the Judiciary and
Foreign Relations.
~.
Mr.. George Van Duzer of New Yorl
has presented TO the Grand Lodge
Library a portion of the collar worr
by Abraham Lincoln at the time Of
his assassination. Mr.. Van Duzel
was present at Ford's Theatre on tina
fatal night, and relates the following
incident: The army under Genera
Lee having surrendered TO Genera
Grant few days previously, Secretary
Stanton, on the 18th of April, 1865