The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1888-09-14
ODD EXPRESSIONS.
An Amusing ColIsctiOn OF Verbal Bulls and
Blnnderss

An Amusing COuSctiOn OF Verbal Bulls and
BlnRderSs
Curious ways Of expressing ideas IN
English may be expected from foreign
ers, as. for instance, when the French
man, who paid q call in this country
and was about to be introduced to 3
family, said: ':Ah, 70 ladiesi Zen
would before, if you please, wish to Pur-
ify mine hands and to sweep mine
hair!"
But the various nationallties OF the
British isles are sometimes not wnit
behind in verbal bulls and plumbers and
in what may generally be described as
odd ways of putting things 1t is SAID
| that when Constable's aunt was dying
the good, deaf old lady said: ''Anne,
if l should be spared to be taken away
l hope my nephew will get the doctor
to open my head and see if any thing
can be done for my hearing.
Scotch publican was complaining
of his servant-maid that she could never
be found when required: She'll gang
| cot O. the house." said he. twenty
times for once she'll come in. "
A Welsh landlord who for some time
had been annoyed by an obstreperous
guest, walked across the room to him
and striking the table with his nst.
shouted very volubiy: you hat KICK
up row all day ere tonight! We was
not interfere with you, do we? Efery
man here mind his own piziness; yes.
by Jink, no"
The beggar was verbally mixed who
thus accosted passesr-bv: ''Sir. would
YOU please give me little money to
buv q bit of bread. for I'm so dreadfully
Thirsty that don't know where am to
get nights lodging?"
The same may be said of country
yokel who went to the menagerle TO
examine the wild beasts Several gen
tleman expressed the opinion that the
orange-outang was lower order OF the
human species. Hodge did not like
this idea, and striding up to the gentle
man expressed his contempt for it in
these words: Pooh! he's no more OF
the human species than l be.
Mamma, is that q spoiled childF'
asked little boy on seeing negro
baby for the first time.
An amusing announcement was issued
bv corn-cutter from Leige: They
extarct the corns vidout the htest pain.
Cut males, deformed witch spreds in the
s feisch-by a new methode vidout pain.
They spokes French, Anglish. ltalien.
Spanitch, Portuguese, Dutch and Car
man vid equal fuency and rites dem. "
|. Over bridge in Georgia is the fol-
lowing: Amy person driving over this
bridge in a pace faster than walk
shall, if white man, be fined five dol
lars. and if negro receive twenty-five
lashes, half the penalty to be bestowed
on the informer."
In small town near Avignon the
houses in the suburbs became flooded
mn to the level of the first floor. An
enterprising resident distributed among
3 his neighbors the following card: IN
Brochet, professor of swimming. Il
prepared to give lessons at the pupil
residence" The professor may 81
ssid to have taken fortune at the food
A shop exhibits card warning
every body against INSCRIPTIONS per
sons "who infringe our title to deceiv
zs' the public" We are afraid the shop
man does not say quite what he mean
any more than the proprietor OF an eat
ing-house near the docks. on the doc
of which may be read the following
announcement, conveying fearful III
telligence to the gallant tars who IRE
Quent this port: Sailors vitals cooke
"'' here"
A clearinghouse keeper announce
in one of the newspapers that he has
cottage to let containing eight room
and an acre of land a dealerin chea
shoes was equally ambiguous when b
counseled in one of his advertisements
"Ladies wishing these cheap shoes WI
ns. do we'll to call soon, as they will nc
last long, The same may be said
the following: This hotel will be keT
bv the widow of the former LANDLORD
who died last summer on new al
improved plan"
A Scottish blacksmith. being aske
the meaning of metaphysics, replies
when the party wha listens disna X
,es what the party wha speaks disna K
what he means himseP-that's met
pheesics."
Top Perhaps as odd way of putin
things as any of the foregoing exAI
pies was furnished by a little Parish
mendicant, who. following gent
man, said: Monsieur, give me j
. a penny; I'm an orphan by birth
The definition was worth ten centim
to her.-Londog Spectator.