The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1888-11-08
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
A Few Strenuous Protests Against Things
In General.


We Gull the following from the last iss,,e n
The Arizona Kicker:
"oUR CIRCULATION.
Ihere are newspapers which do more blow
ing about their circulation than we do, and
there may be few who add more subscriber:
in single week, but The Kicker gets there
just the same. We began on circulation OF
two % copies, one of which we carried about
in our own pocket, and the other went as a
deadhead to the postmaster. Wenow work 19s
copies, which are paid for in advance. This
is an increase of "a per cent in seven months,
and we've got dollar which saws no other
newspaper in the world can equal it.
I'VE don't claim that the Kicker makes
kings and emperors tremble on their thrones.
or that it has bettered the moral standing of
the American masses 1000 per cent, but we
do know that we have made life worth the
living for good many people out this way
who were ready to hang themselves when
our nrst number was issued, and that every
new subscriber who comes has faith that we
will make better man of him."
"oUR EXCUSE.
I'VE have been severely criticised because
we refused to attend the funeral of old Pete
Shiny, who died on the street one night last
week. 1t is claimed that Old Pete was our
creditor in the sum of $12, and that it was
shabby in us not to see him planted.
I'm the first place Old Pete owed us SO Dor
rowed money, instead of our owing him. In
the next our Sunday pantaloons needed n
patch about four feet square at the end oppo-
site the bow, and we did not care to subject
ourselves to ridicule for the sake of showing
off. We can keep our back behind us in our
own Office until better times arrive, and that's
what we are trying to do. We have sent to
San Francisco for a patch the color of our
pantaloons, and when it arrives and is welded
on to the spot Richard will be himself again.
and ready to rustic at funerals or address a
public meeting on the topics of the day,
MUST TAKE THEIR CHANCES.
"Three times during the last month wa
have surprised ourself and the public by
hopping the floor with assailants, while on
two occasions we have ignominiously took
to Hight. We state it as a physiological fact
that there are times when we had as lief fight
a dozen men, and other times when we'd run
from good sized boy. Parties planning to
lick us must be prepared to take their
chances. We may fight like lion or run
like jack rabbit"
THE COLONEL HAS GONE
TONY society pretended to be all upset
last week because Col. De Claire was arrested
for horse THIEF and taken to Nebraska to
stand trial. 1t was only pretense We
have known for months past that the colonel
was beat and an impostor, and many
others have known it He sent us an order
FOR new hat as soon as he arrived here. and
thus put us under obligations not to give him
away. The hat grew old and rusty after
time, and as the colonel didn't come in with
cash subscription we felt that we had given
him rope enough. We just dropped hint to
the sheriff of Henry county, and week
later the colonel had the irons on.
I'VE are alone every evening after G. We
can't be bribed, but there are parties in this
town who had best come in and subscribe
for copies to send to friends. Our terms are
~ per year-strictly in advance"
mot ON HIM.
"There are no flies on ]. NJ P. Brayton,
ESQ.,, who owns that beautiful ranch COM
monty known as Jackass Dell. He entered
our office the other day and left a peck of
potatoes of his own raising. His wife is one
Of the handsomest women in the west, his
laughter the finest singer and musician, and
The gentleman himself ought to be president
If the United States. 1t is to such 90 ahead,
men as Nh; Brayton that ART
'ona is indebted for her prosperity. We call
attention to the two column ad, which we
lave inserted free, Of the fact that Jackass
Dell is for sale at $40 an acre. It's worth five
Zines that
ut is not for us to suggest that other farm
RS bring us in potatoes, butter, carrots or
'pples Such as do will find us ready and
willing to give them from one-half a column
% three columns of notice in return, and in
'ur most cheerful vein. "-Detroit Free Press.