Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-08-25
Putting Ones Foot in Il.

81 never open my mouth but put my foot In 1t, ''
was the curious complaint OF some unlucky wight,
who nsiyht have received conso,atiou nad he re-
1rctec or the number OF offenders that daily keep
MIN company. The guarismans remark TO the
English nobleman who was In the habit OF affably
coaversIng with soldiers, Il like you, my lord;
offers ar example OF the kind. SHOW many
ueaths1" asked hospital physician. "Niue."
would not take IT" was the startling reply.
"hiiiot where are you going at this time OF Mig t?'
said geo lemIn TO his servant. "You are AFTER
no gooi, III warrant" "P.ease. sir, mistress sent
me ioriyou, sir" Was the response. gentleman
said TO toe waiter OF his club: michael. II should
die would you attend my funsra.?" "wil.ingp,
sir" was Inc hasty answer. "Well, Michael, thaJ
isn't very com plimentary." "No, sir didn't man.
thai, Sir; wouldn't be seen there, ST." was the
walter 3 consolatory reply.
Needless little foot in 1t, as the phrase goes For
instance, yOungster one day begged an invi.
taaioa &c thinner az the house OF little friend
with ND)m he had been playing. AT the
Table els hostess anxlous.y tuquired: ''Cnarley,
c,n you eut your own meat?" 'uumph ~ said The
youngsler. who WAS saving away, cant 1? I've
cut up guile a. tough meat as tnlS at home" PeO-
pie WHO are drstitute Of TACT might take warning
from sLcp Juvenile malaprops. 0ut such dues not
often appear TO be tine Case, Judging BY the
numerous examples TO tne contrary.
mtliio1alre railway king has brother who is
nara Cd bearing, wnie he himself Is remarkable as
havln. very PROMINENT nose. Ono this railway
KING dinen AT a frien1s house, where he sat b.
tween two young ladies VINO talked TO him Very
loudly rather to his annoyance, but he said Moth
Ing. Finally one or tnem shouted a common
place reindrS, and then Said Ia ordinary lone to
the other, "Did you ever sec sucn n Ise in all
your ltIef' "Plrdun me, Ladies" said the Million
airt, ST - my brother VINO Is deai!" We cin M
a.ine Lhe horror VI the Lady WAC INDUCED in SUCH
personal remarks, yet she was no more awswarii,
plIced than g nero OF the following: When uln-
ing at certain Castle a MI. T, alter the die
relireG, remarked TO a gentleman presenl that the
lady who hai Sci on his right was the uyliest
W mr. "a MI a. SaAn
SAID tue gentleman ''that you think my wife SO III
looking" 40. III, SIR; mean the lady who sat on
my lei.; MAIZE mistake" swell, sir. she is my
sister,"
Abiding 10 newspapers, 1t may be remarked
that advertiser and Impractical writers therein
through ambiguity o. words ana phrases often
commit absurdities That may be touched ON as
further Illustrating our subject. A country paper
once related how, during the celebration, cliid
never spoke arserWar In Inc descruSa ~ or aSe
dom IS OF mad dog 1t is said tnat ..ne DIT nor Sc
on Tue Icy which has since died" An account OF
funeral sayss sine realms were commiIled TO
that bourne from whicn no traveller returns at
tended cy his friends"
1t Is not surprising that foreigners sometimes
70 our wo DIS Frenchman Translated Snake
Speare's line "Out, brief Candle" BY .Get out Won
snort Tandle;" am the expression with my sword
VIA my sword Will make my fortune cutting
meLL'
Advertisers often give US amusing specimens or
composition. Of whicn this is an example: Lost
by pOo. iad tied up In brown paper with white
StrtnS u German nute with an Overcoat on and
several other articles OF wearing APPAREL
milerattempted TO testify to the merits OF DOW
der I0t Destroying vermla by saying, "a fortnig At
ago Was full OF rats, and now don't think have
one"
Examples more of the '.bull" genus also come
under the title or this paper cases In pont For
inetaDce, newspaper was running serial story
Called "fhe Truth" One week, so mucu SPACE
being devoted TO other matters the editor as
unable 10 continue the story, so made the follow
Ing announcement, containing, perhaps more
truth than any other item in The paper; "srhe
Truth was crowded out or this issue on account OF
the press VI more important matt r."
0ajhIul gentleman who visited q school kept
by young Lady was asked by the teaaher to say a
few WORKS TO the pupils. THIS Was his speech: :
scholars, hope you will always love your school
giggling pupils and q blushing teacher attested
The Effectiveness or his words.
The lecturer put his foot In 1t as thoroughly
when he preIaced his discourse upon the rninuce
ros win: 81 must beg you TO give me your und-
vlded attention; indeed. l. Is absolutely impossible
that you could form true idea OF the nideuus ami
mai OF watch we are about TO speak unless you
keep your eyes liked on me-" A certain preacher.
dscoursiag upon bunyan and his works caused q
Utter AMONG ms hearers by excaiming: "In these
days, my brethren, we want more Bunyansn
Announcer clergy man, pleading earnestly with his
parisnioners LOT the construction or cemetery for
their parish, asked them TO consider the .sdepora
Die condltion or 10000 Christian Engltshnen iiy
Ing without Christian burial" Still more curious
was the clerical sup with which we conclude A
gentleman said 10 the minister: "Wnen do you
expect to see Deacon s. again?" NEVER said
,ns reverend gentleman, solemnly, 1.-THE deacon is