The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1888-11-01
IKE DOODLE, ESQ,
Has Dream IN which He Trav-
els over an old Free
Trade Road.
His Satanic Majesty, the Prince Of Dark
ness, acts as Guide for Ike.
The CORNERS, which is in
the State of Brighton,
October %. 1888.

settin' up their political pins in the
State Of Brighton The Democrats and
the Mugwumps are huntin after the
Republicans. The Republicans, though
few in numbers, have rallied around
their standard bearer 10 the State of
Brighton and will make stubborn
fight fur the Republican ticket and will
support it every last man of EN- They
ale alive ter the fact that it is the pur-
pose of the Democrats of the South to
PROSTATE the commercial industries Of
the North; they have done SO once be-
fore and they are now trying the same
old scheme again. 1t is the avowed
purpose of the British lion, assisted by
some of our beloved southern brethren,
ter pull the feathers out Of the Ameri-
can eagle and the Republicans Of the
State of Brighton insist that the mem
bers of the Golden Club and the briga-
diers in Congress shall never pick their
teeth with the quilts or put one dollars
worth Of Doodle inter their pockets from
the sale Of the athers.
This mornin' Ike came down stairs a
lookin' tagged out. Says he, "Saman-
tina, [ had horrible dream last night
While [ was settln' in my armchair a
readin' Gen Harrison's letter of accept
ance, | went ter sleep. Suddenly the
room was lit up with electricity and his
Satanic Majesty and John c. Calhoun,
the Prince of Democracy in Satan's
Dominions, stood before me. The dew
il was dressed In armor from head to
heels and he shone like nickel plated
Garland stove. He had steel helmet
on his head and his face was as black as
a locomotive bileI.
"Who in the devil are you?' says I,
droppin' Gen. llarrisou's letter Of ac-
ceptance onter the floor and risin' to
my feet,
ellis Satanic Majesty at yer pleas
ure," says the devil a foppin' his tail
over his right arm and a scrapin' his
left hoof back wards like French
dancin' master.
"What do yer want with me ?" says I.
II am the Prince of Darkness who
rebelled agin high heaven You will
tarry with me an hour and minute.
Gomez
| didn't say 81 guess | WON'T" or
"I'll 60 when | get ready but | went.
eyer will please take m; ARM" says
the devil maxim a sort Of wrought
iron bow and scrapin his nick plated
hoof on my new Brussels carpet.
eyer devilish perlite devil" says I,
takin' his arm, and in a second, more
or less, me and the devil and John G.
Calhoun found ourselves on a horrible
bad road. To the right and left of us
there were great mountains as black as
night which seemed to pierce the murky
sky, and high up on one Of the black
cliffs was a guide board that had on it
this notice:
FREE TRADE ROAD.
Ia MILES TO VAR AND CHAOS
The Nation that enters here zeaves COM
n,ercaal prosperity and success behind
Purity soon me and the devil and
John G. Calhoun came to busted up
mandatory filled with poor laborin'
men out of work. On the top of the
buildin was pacard with this sign:
COMPROMISE TARIFF OF 1888.
Further on we came to broken
down agricultural market where Ameri-
can butter was sellin' fur six cents and
take yer pay in trade. Portly lookin'
English importers, with sleek, fat look
in corporations and massive gold watch
chains danglin' from their westcoats,
were bustlin' around as thick as flies
in August. Huge piles of English cali
Goes that wouldn't wash but once on ac-
count of the clay in EN- were piled up
many feet high. The laborin men from
the busted manufactury were calm
fur clothes and the English importers
were smilin' and a fxin' their own
prices on their own goods, because
there wasn't any competition, The
devil stopped here and pointin' ter
sickly lookin' man with fur cap on.
says he: That's Dick Golden, the great
English free trader. He died many
wears AGO and went ter heaven oct