Iuka reporter. (Iuka, Miss.) 1888-1894, 1888-11-15

MY fond heart it doth ache
with love, for thy sweet sache-
pay yes--say yes, and mache
Ny gray life rose tints tache.
Wei sail loves CLASSY lache,
Where pillows never breache.
In barque that ne'er shall quache.
Joyll follow in our wache--
NOW, hol the wedding cache
CLEARLY ANOTHER PERSON.
What did you find in the pockets ~
inquired Mrs. Hankthunder, anxiously.
There was small hymn book" said
tne Coroner, together with handker-
chlef, some postage-s stamps, few tracts
on total abstinence"
1T wasn't the Colonel" exclaimed
the Kentucky lady, greatly relieved !;
'he's probably coming on the next
boat. "-Gtscago Tribune.
DIsTTNcTTvELY COLLEGIATE.
The class cry of the Yale freshmen is
'Brlc-a-kex-kex, coax, coax, brio a. kex-
kex, coax, coax, coax, whu-op, whu-op.
whu-op, parabaloo-'92." We take it
that this is a. combination of bull frog
and katydid remarks, translated into
Volapuk.-Sprinatfeld Union
THAT EXPLAINED TT.
What's the matter, johnny asked
one OF the neighbours boys, as his COM
panlon came out of the alley gate.
"Ain't finished your dinner Already have
yea"
"Nop."
Didn't We get any,"
Yep; but | didn't stay to finish it. ;"
what made We leave SO soon?"
well, l said something at the table.
and everybody but pa laughed. Nor
chant Traveller.
RELIGIOUS BUT ECONOMICAL.
Husband ION his way to church)-IIl
just skip on ahead my dear, and get
some change. I've nothing less than
one dollar, and that's too much to give.
Wife ION his overtaking her)-Did you
get the bill changed? 81
Husband-Yes. IL
Wife-You will contribute half ddA
lar, John2 ti
Husband-I can't very well now. ~
happened to meet three or four friends'
and I've only got quarter left. Ned
York Sun
WAY UP IN MAINE.
"How's crops this year?" asked a
tourist of Maine farmer.
"Well, purity fair, purity fair; nothin'
to brag on, but purity fair averidge.
after ALL
"How many bushels of corn will such
land as this produce!
"Well, fits Unanswered right smart
and worked as it'd orter be, it'll turn
out about eight bushels.
eight bushels, man; is that all ?
Eight bushels to the acre?'
Eight bushels to the acre2 Land,
no eight bushels to the farmP
Time.
NO RUIN THREATENED.
"Vhot vas We going to do, fadder, Is
said little Abraham, as he laid down the
newspaper, eff dose Democrats take of
de duty on vool9 1t means ruin, sure;
de brices was too low, alrettyl''
'Nef + you fear, mine little sohn," re-
piled the old man: sit Will not affect dis
peezniss; dere was not an ounce of WOOL
IN all de clodhings in dis emporium!"-
Puck.
UNRECoGNIzED GENIUS.
He was dressed in new suit OF fault
less fit, and he was the only man in the
bobtail car. This gave him an oppor-
he wore. AT last he gave up his seat to
la1y and then posed for further ben
eft on the outside platform.
But fate, in the shape of woman,
pursued him. The woman to whom he
had surrendered his good seat reached
the end of her route. Singing him ont
with her index finger she called sternly:
"C-o-n-ductor, stop the car.
A PRACTICAL WIDOW.
confess, sir" said the widow, with
some shyness, "that l might in time
learn to love you; but, er-you are quite
poor, are you not? ?"
"Well, yes; but with you, dear Mrs.
Tompkins, to cheer and encourage me
it would soon"
"Ah," interrupted the widow, with a
sigh, "that would be giving hostages to
fortune. l am drawing fifteen dollars a
month pension, and wouldn't like to
give up a dead sure thing for rank I'M
certainty. ''-Epoch.
sEAsoNABLE TOPIC.
There has been a runaway. A pair of
horses were down, carriage smashed to
pieces, and the driver and lady lay
groaning on the grass with their hurts.
The street-car stopped and many got off
to render aid. Among those who stood
on the rear platform we're two ladies',
one of whom held up her hands in hor-
ror and exclaimed:
"Mercy on me- but what an awful,
awful affair How long did you say you
boiled your grape jelly. Mrs. Smith q
Detroit Free Press.
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