The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1888-11-28

It's only about twice year." re-
piled State Senator William +. Mason
to an 1rkdnSdW Traveller reporter,
" that Pm smart enough to fool. Last
Monday played trick that ought to
serve as capital suggestion for other
husbands to conduct operations on.
Along about four O'Clock in the after
noon began to get faint and hungry;
l had been working hard all day, and
was as famished and as tagged as a
hunted wolf AS | sat in my Office
chair wondering what / was going to
find for dinner when | got home, an
entirely new and marvelously bril-
liant idea flashed upon me. 1t broke
upon my intellect much as a stray plank
dances before the vision of a drowning
man. 1t made my mouth fairly water
as it developed its details in my greedy
brain. l made bee line for the tele-
phone and called the central office.
&c Give me $685. said l, and then /
chuckled all over, and my mouth kept
on watering.
Bur-r-r,' went the telephone.
put my mouth close to the funnel, and
in shrill, falsetto voice asked:
GO Is that Senator Mason's house?"
"' Yes,' came the answer, and /
recognized my wife at the other end of
the wire.
"'Is the senator home?' l asked in
feminine voice.
"' No. was the reply.
:" Well, then, is Mrs. Mason there?'
/ inquired.
g. Yes, am Mrs. Mason was the
answer.
"'Oh, is that you?' 1 cried; how
do you do?'
I" Why, how do you do?' responded
my wife, but knew by her tones that
she hadn't the remotest idea whom she
was talking to.
GO How are all the children?' / asked.
GO They are all very well, said wife.
" Well said ], 81 happened to be
in town shopping to-day, and | thought
I'd go over to your house to dinner.
"Well, that sort of staggered my
wife. She mustered up voice enough
to ask:
GO Who are you?'
"Then | answered:
"' Why, don't you recognize the
voice? Pm Mrs. Myayah!'
"'I don't catch the name; speak
| louder" she PLEADED.
So Mrs. Mya-yahp l repeated, and
with that, in order to preclude all en-
barrassing complications, | shut off the
telephone as tight as l could. Then |
threw myself into chair and laughed
till / like to went into apoplexy.
Laugh? Well, you ought to have seen
the plastering fall around mel But, to
make long story short, 1 reached
home about 5:45, and of all the dinners
| ever clapped eyes on-gosh! it was a
banquet! Wife had her new black silk
dress on, and she had slicked the chill
dren up so that l could hardly identify
them.
"' think we'd better wait dinner
awhile, DEAR said wife.
CO Why so? l asked. Bless you,
Pm as hungry as an alligator
"Then wife told me she was expect
ing lady guest, and she repeated tn e
details of the telephone in the after
noon. 1t was fearful ordeal, but |
managed to look innocent, and of
course l wondered who the lady
could be.
"' Indeed, | don't know said wife.
but her voice was strangely familiar.
We pceH puALlluS nySell 10 uedlu Try
ing to guess who it was
Well, we waited fifteen minutes
and then sat down to the banquet
and a royal feast it was. We had soup
and fish and big roast, and dozen
little side dishes. and wife sent out and
bought gallon of pink ice-cream and
a frosted cake for dessert | stood it
just as long as | could. When it came
to thick ice-cream ! couldu't-stand it
any longer. AS | was slicing it off |
looked at wife kind of sideways and
said in falsetto voice:
Z" My dear, I'm sorry Mrs. Mya-yah
didn't come
"Wife dropped her Dresden china
cup as if she'd been paralyzed.
&" William E. Mason-you brute,
she gasped.
1.-The children enjoyed the joke as
much as l did-yes, and wife, too, got
to laughing about it after awhile. Our
boy Louis said: "Do it again, pa; it's
mighty jolly to get a big dinner once in
awhile
But look here, you reporter, you
aren't taking notes on me. Come,
come, now, that's not right; you
mustn't tell the story on me. Put ii
on somebody else-put it on Bill Camp
bell. "-ArkanSdW Traveller.