The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-08-22
BRIGHT BITS.


THE ladies are more modest about their intel
lectual than their phy steal attractions. How
ever low the corsage may be the forehead is
usually concealed bya bang-Puck.
MEDICAL PRoFEssoR TO student)-In case
which you find difficult to diagnose correctly,
what is the proper course to take?
Student-LoOk wise and say nothing. -Epoch
STRANGER Tin Parisl-What is the meaning of
this great demonstration.
Parisan--Aha does monsieur not know? Zey
hef at last been some blood shed in Frainch
duel-Judge.
A Philosopher says; Every man is occa-
sionally what he ought to be perpetually." This
does not refer to the old topper. He is perpetu-
ally what ne ought to be occasionally Burning
ton Free Press.
SHAKEsPEAREAN AMATEUR after the perform
ance)-Do tell me, Mrs kittrick, how did you
like me as the fool? Mrs. Kttrick enthusiast
caly) Excellently. You were 80 natural, you
know They could not have found better man
for the part.-Judge.
He 40 p. m. and the lamp turned low, humor-
ously|-lt isn't at all queer, is it Edith that one
should find electric kisses when he goes spark
ingr
She-Yes, very queer Mr.. Standoff, when the
lady's negative is positive.-JldOe.
PHysIoIAN-Now madam. this mixture is for
your daughter Flossie to be taken internally,
and this one is for the little dog to be outwardl
applied. Don't get the two confounded; the re-
suit might be serious. Madam-No, indeed |
won't; poor dear little fellow.-TerdS Siftirtgs
MoTHKR-Daughter didn't hear Mr.. jenkins
kiss you last night when he went away?
Daughter-Yes, mamma; but it was against
my will.
Mother-what wasS
Daughter Your hearing it, mamma.-W Wash
tngton Critic.
ANXIOUS MOTHER (appealingly) please
do not put your foot out that way. You might
get hurt.
Jnhnnv Observation-Disclosures take vOur foot in
Do you want mamma to buy coffin and
funeral when you know she wants a new re-
frigerator so badly?-Harper's Weekly.
CoNDUcToR-Heavens,M Nose! why do you want
to hang YOURSELF
Suicidal Porter-Hain't got huff to make
emmy man hang. sef, Thar's twenty-fo' par
OBJ shoes in dis kyar, an nineteen am russell
leather, while de res am owned by wimmen.
Farewell, vain world Use gwine home.-NelO
York Evening Sun.
asked an unwary guest of a blue eyed cherub in
while duck trousers who was gazing ntently at
her back hair.
"Nuthin' much. Only mamma said you were
double faced, and was tryin' to see the other
one" Charles remains were taken out on a
shovel-BoStOR Globe.
He lat Saratoga, tenderly)-T think have
met you before, Miss Smith; your face is very
familiar.
She (coldly)-- Yes, sir; and those goods that
you warranted would wash tried to give away
to my maid.
And then the silence became so wide and
solemn that you could h them pumping gas
into the mineral springs.
''WELL, did you get along all rightly said a
young married lady TO friend who had just re
turned from Washington, where she had gone
to pass an examination for the civil service
"Oh yes, | think so, was the reply uttered in
rather hopeless tone. her friend thought.
Wasn't it odd" the friend rejoined, last
year You went on to be examined the day after
my wedding; this year the day after baby was
born. When you 90 on to get your appoint
ment-"
''He will be grown up" interrupted the hope
less one-Time.