Omaha daily bee., 1888-04-08
PEPPERMINT DROPS.

"I won't last long at this rate"-as the
surplus remarks when it gazes at the twenty
million river and harbor grabs.
Matters are becoming so dull in ASKING
ton now that the American hog is called in
to stir up a little warm personal warfare.
Boston. Ga, has more than five hundred
acres planted in melons. There will be no
negro exodus from that neck of woods before
fail.
A Boston woman who used to spend SIS per
year for kid gloves now gets along with
three pairs. Her husband bought her a dia
mond ring.
Archnologists have just discovered that
the ancient Egyptians us ed umbrellas. They
must have come andy during the long reign
Of the Pharoahs.
"Wast not" said the kind father from n
front upperstore window to the young man
who, ut the front gate below, had his hug
ging arm around his only daughter waist
Look at her waist! notice that the ladies'
generally are wearing hign-necked dresses
this year. 'Yes," said the old fox-hunter;
"thcy seem to have been driven to cover at
last
A Wheeling lady took up the bandbox con
tanning her best bonnet last Sunday, then
dropped it with a shrek and fed. The mouse
had got in his work, however, and the bonnet
was ruined.
According to the supreme court the new
compel married woman to hold her tongue
at her own peril She can SANDER her neigh
bors as before, at her husbands expense.
"You, Billy" called Bloomington mother
to her son, who was playing in the street
run right along to school and stop throwing
stones, for you are almost certain to hit one
of those candidates and spoil your pas
chances for getting Office.
THE Oldest convention on record will un-
douotedly be that of the life prisoners in the
Ohio penitcntiary, which is TO be held
shortly There will be no going out between
the sessions for refreshments and no trouble
about arranging excursion rates on the diff
erent railroads.
"Who was that young man here last
nighttn asked a father TO his only daughter
why, papa, that was my accepted lover"
"Your lover, child. Why, | never saw him
before! What does he do" DO, papa,
doi' she replied in amazement He doesn't
do anything; he has government posi-
tion"
Telegraph Editor Ito Chefl-Here is an
interesting dispatch about Albert, the prince
Of. Editor-ln-Chief Grascibly)-Kill it;
Fm sick Of Albert, prince of Wales. Tele-
graph EditOr--3ut this dispatch is III refer
ence to Albert the prince of pedestrians.
Edltor-in-Chlef--Oh, put a big heading on it
A Chicago man who had erected fine res
idenco was surprised one day to learn that a
rat had been seen in the cellar. The plumb +
was sent for and given orders to stop up the
rat hole without regard to expense He aid
so and handed in his bill. 1t called for 81 =
1886. He had found it necessary to com
pIetely overhaul and change the sewerage
| and drainage system of the premises to keep
that rat out
The edit or of Grggs county tDakota)
paper calls attention to the fact that Griggs
county contains room enough TO seat the en-
tire population of the globe in arm chairs
within its limits, allowing each person II
space of thirteen feet. Unless the Griggs
county editor can offer some other induce
ment, it is extremely doubtful if the entire
population of the globe will go there to sit
in chairs 1t IS too Internally cold in Dakota
to take such an out-ofdoOrs loaf during the
mer