Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1888-01-06
THE MYSTERY OF GOOD BREEDING
The Subtle Harmony of Passing Flavor ant
True POlitencsS.

CHE MlS1EK1 Uf NOVD HhELDANu
The Subtle Harmony Of Passing Flavor an"
4 True POliteness.
Subtle, fragrant, indescribable, but
all-pervading, is that lovely thing called
good breeding. AS subtle and as indie
;cribable, but by no means fragrant, IS
it's ungainly opposite. keenly con-
scious OF the absence Of the former, but
unable to exactly specify and define
when present, we know and feel, but
cannot analyze nor tabulate-s i'll
cases of exceptional sweetness and re-
finement, when we can touch the exact
notion and repeat the commanding
word which governed all. SO with ILL
breeding. We can scarcely say where
it was unless the misdemeanor was as
deep as we'll and as wide as church
door; but there it was, and we felt and
knew whether we were able to define it
or not. No one can describe discord
nor harmony. SO with the mystery of
good breeding-the subtle harmony
ard passing flavor OF true politeness.
1t is heard in an intonat:on, an intiec-
ton, in the choice of one word over an
other seemingly its twin, but with Just
that difference OF application, rather
than meaning, which creates the es-
sence of good breeding, The almost
microscopic recognition of stranger
the specialized attention of an unobtru-
sive kinds it's evidence; the careless
neglect OF an apparently Insignificant
form is it's death warrant. 10 be the
only stranger in q room full of init
mates, and to be unintroduced and
neglected, is an act of ill.breeding
specially Britannia. Ii by chance one
more kind-hearted to begin with, and
more polished by friction to go on with,
takes pity on the POOR social waif and
stray, and offers any attention, or reels
off the thread of u conversation, that
person has this marvellous charm we
call good breeding, in which all the
rest have been deficient When you
enter room and are presented to the
hostess, her reception Of you proves
her good breeding OF her bad. The
way her children greet you, the way in
which, at any age beyond the merest
babyhood, they speak and hold them
selves, is SO eloquent of their gentle
training or ungentle as is correct &C
cent or O provincial. No idiosyncrasy
mars the real essence of good breeding,
and all the excuses made for lapses and
LESSONS are futile. A well-bred person
may be rs shy as q hawk and her limbs
may be as awkwardly hung together as
SO many crooked sticks badly pinned.
All the same her good breeding will be
evident, and neither her shvness nor
her awkwartlness will tell against it.
Though it costs her the well-known
agonies to sustain connected CONVEX
sation, and though by the very fact Of
her shyness her brain will run dry, she
will sustain it with the most consum-
mate politeness, ii not always with the
most tawless fluency. She will put q
restraint on herself and talk her best,
bad as that best may be, because she is
versed in the art and mystery of good
breeding, and thinks OF others rather
than herself. But an ill-bred person,
if shy, is simply boorish, and takes no
trouble to conquer the dumb demon
within HIM, but gives way to it and lets
it conquer him at its pleasure. You
feel that the excuse made for him-or
her-by those who want to smooth over
asperitles with varnish--that excuse of
being SO "dreadfully shy"--is no ex-
cuse at all. For you know by expert
ence how sweet and anxious to be sup
pie and at ease-for all the pain it
costs her-can be that well-bred bundle
of nerves and fears, who is as timid as
q hare and as sensitive as mimosa,
but also who is as thoughtful for others
as the boor is disregarding. -Londo1a
Queen