The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-02-24
FITS AS A PROFESSION.
THE HOUSEHOLDER'S VERY QUEER
VISITOR.
Starting With Epilepsy, Drifting to
Thieving, Wandering to Inventions,
And Ending With Surprise.
L1,o,l the Mem York Times
From the Nel0 York Times.

From the Nelo York Times.
There is a plain house in Eighteenth
street, not far from Fourth avenue, which
IS distinguished from its substantial fellows
Of brownstone only by particular episode
which happened within its doors.
Two or three nights ago, a lank, pale
faced man. dressed in a suit of black so
badly cut that it hung in folds about him,
mounted the steps of this particular house.
He rang the bell, which was answered by a
mail servant who ran away in a fright
W. On she saw the man and called loudly
or the master of the house. He came and
was startled out of his everyday polite
manner by the wild appearance of the
stranger, who said, while he trembled in
every limb and his teeth chartered:
beg pardon, sir, but would you mind
nv having a fit in your vestibuleg I'm
subject to them and hate to make a spec
tacle Of myself In the street"
This extraordinary request fioored the
householder. 1t was not within the pale of
his experience at ALL He had never been
subject to epilepsy himself and did not
know what to do with an utter stranger
suffering with the disease. But in the kind
ness of his heart he sent tile servant after
doctor who lived across the way, and went
ND stairs to his wife for her advice and a
camphor bottle. As he glanced over the
balustrade on his way up, he saw the
stranger writhing in apparent agony on the
lounge in the lower hall, where he had left
him. He FASTENED in his search and
reached the head of the stairs on the way
down Just in time to see the man of fits get
up, look stealthily around and then sneak
into the parlor. The householder, descend
ing the stairs cautiously, reached point
where he could see the stranger helping
himself to some small japanese vases and
rare china cups which adorned the mantel
in the dimly-lighted room. Then there was
q shout:
What are you doing with those thingsg'
The lank man dropped his booty, and,
after the crash of china, said calmly: Il
beg pardon, but I'm a kleptomaniac"
The householder was even more aston
ished at this statement than at the request
of the man which led to his introduction
into the house.
"Don't use any violence, said the man of
fits, as he burst into tears. I'm tell YOU
my story if you will promise to let me go
afterward, and tomorrow, if you care to
come to my room, will show you some of
the most wonderful inventions of the age"
The householder, assuring himself that he
to let the man go if he would tell his story:
Il may as well confess said the lank
man, as he sat down, that the fit business
is all put on l don't have fits, but / suffer
with passion for art, and | have worked
that fit scheme to get into houses lots of
times, and then have made my escape. You
see l am frank with you. l love bric-a-
brac, but | am poor and have to supply
myself from the mantels of the rich. Bet
tap than o~f thnnnh oY1H brio I l..
invention. | am an inventor myself, and,
as promised, | will show you at my room
tomorrow some remarkable things.
At this point the servant returned, saying
that the doctor was not at home, and as she
looked at the odd stranger, seated comfort
ably in the parlor, her face became bloom
ing Interrogation point.
LAS l was saying" continued the shabby
man with an engaging smile, Il have a
number of inventions, some of which | am
Sure are destined to make countless thou
sands happy.
You go to the theatre, of course? All!
thought SO, and you dislike tall hatsa Right
again, l see. / have perfected q plan for
relieving ladies Of their hats which
cannot fail of meeting their approval, and
which will place the theatrical manager
who adopts it upon throne Of popularity
where he will receive the homage of all
AiOlI. IOu nave sceu Olle wires ana cups
used for transporting change from the coun-
ter 10 the cashier IN our large retail dry
goods houSess Certainly. 1t is my purpose to
adopt this invention TO the needs of the the
ater. have at my room an excellent work
Ing model of my invention. [ propose the
StI1nglng of wires across the thea
ire which shall lead to a check room.
Un these wires | intend to place handsome
gllded cages large enough to contain lady's
nat. have cage to hang over every other
seat, and springs to propel it to place in
the check room. The lady arrives, takes
her seat in the theater, languidly removes
her headgear, hands it to her escort, who
places 1t i'll convenient cage, pulls the
spring and shoots the hat to the check room.
where it remains until the end Of the per-
formance, when it is shot back over the
wire to its owner. Nice idea, isn't it9 You
snail see the method of its working to-
morrow"
At this point the householder, lost in ad-
alratlon OF his strange guest, offered him a
cigar.
Now, have at my ROOM" said the
guest rs he pulled rings of smoke from his
cigar, and you shall see that, too, very
simple invention, which / have not
patented, but which has everything to COM
mend 1t. There is fortune in its manu-
lacture If can get it patented It is paper
SnIt BOSOM, but not like those which have
oeen made before. Mine is composed of
rom twenty to fifty sheets of linen paper
pressed together like pad of writing paper.
Hhen one smooth front becomes soiled all
man has to do is to rip it OFF, and then he
mas beautiful, clean, fresh service to dis
pay TO the world. These fronts will be a
nice thlng for busy business men and latter
| patisel for reporters. When they happen
10 pe without writing paper all they will
nave to do will be to tear off a front and 20
! to work.
there was flash of silence after this
speech which was broken again by the in
genious guest.
WIN my other accomplishments ] am
PROUD TO place that of sleight of hand, said
ne l hen he arose and walked timidly to-
"urd the householder. 81 touch you, here
e seemed TO tap lightly on the waistcoat of
t ~is man he was entertaining land now I
IgAe your watch out of my coat-tail pocket
a me pulled the watch out of the pocket to the
him. 40 ""0A anu N"iiO'0 ~ "
men, writing an address on piece of
PuPer, he handed it to his host and humbiy
sssed leave to depart. The mar Of the
DVu S begged to know how he got the watch
no tease do not ask me that" he said, as
Practice, that is all"
~ l "lll give you $40" said the owner of
IN ~aUcn, who had replaced his timepiece
All ii H !. pocket, IF you will tell me how you
~ this time both men were at the front