The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1888-06-01
An Echo from Kauai.

X.
visit of the editors of the Gazette and
Bulletin to Kauai, as they have appeared
in these enlightened journals, are per-
fectly saturated with mOdesty. Yet
they are calculated to mislead the read
ing public as to the real sensation which
the editorial advent created.
AS soon as it was noised about that
two rival editors were turned loose on
our shores, our hOspitable citizens made
elaborate preparation for their reception.
All along the triumphal route clothes
were carefully remov. d from lines,
stray articles adjusted to safer localities,
and dogs hitherto chained given holi-
day. Having fortified themselves by
few more extra precautions, the Kauaians
calmly awaited the onslaught.
With the eccentricity of genius the
editors mounted the Koloa stage to
reach Kappa. When the driver had
contemplated their gripsacks with
proper degree of reverential awe, he
told them 0he editors, not the grip
sacks that he wOuldn't charge them any
thing if they would take the other stage.
Logan replied that all the world is
stage, but passengers could reach Kappa
as we'll by the Kappa stage as any other.
COncealing their ValiSes beneath their
ulsters they hailed the other Jehu, who
being privily warned that they were the
champion lightweight slOggers of the
Supreme Court and Veto Prerogative,
gave them seats with an alacrity border
ing on electricity. In due time they
were delivered at the Kealia boarding
house, where they gorged four years
subscription Soon after many persons
eager for news and hungry for informa-
ton thrOnged around.
One man wanted to know whether a
war between Russia and Patagonia is
imminent. "My FRIEND" said Logan,
confidentially, "some people say such a
war is on the tapis, and some say it
bound to publish both sides. The Ga
zette will keep you posted on the issues
Of the day at S. per annum in advance"
WhereupOn the interlocutor advanced
the per annum, but deferred the So till
the end of the year.
A solemn Individual approached Hill,
saying: "Now, suppose | cOnspire to
defraud the Government out of 81, 200,
and my fine of 5000 reduces the net
profit to 1900" "Sir," interrupted
Hill, "the Weekly Summary of the Bull
letin deals with that question; sub
scription payable in advance" The
man cheerfully subscribed year in adj
vance of payable.
A mathematician said to Logan, 81
give up the Hen and Egg Problem and
pass out on the Apple Boom, but am
dying by inches to know the solution of
MI hn1f L H1x
and half in second and a half up a
flight and a half OF the golden stairs'-
Here Logan intimated that the Weekly |
etc, etc, and the man dug
down into his pocket, ETC., etc.
To man DESTROYS of knowing how to |
graft eucalyptus GA sunfiower, Hill re- |
piled scientifically, 1.-The Weekly Sum-
mary will graft hair on bald head
And then and there the man did tumble |
and did at once produce the wherewith |
gaunt female wanted to know |
LOgan's sentiments on prohibition. That |
eminent sage replied, 81 Far be it from |
me to prohibit any one from subscribing |
for the Weekly Gazette, for of UGH is |
the kingdom of heaven-in advance"
Sir" observed a venerable gent to |
Hill, " have been careful and atten-
i've reader of your valuable journal for"
-" And, sir" interrupted Hill, referring
% his pass book, " you are in arrears six
And it Immediately came to
PASS that the man was not in arrears
hree seconds.
And thus the two continued to ad-
vance informatiOn-in advan e. And
when they returned to Honolulu, to
slash each other on the issues of the
lay, their Yalises were full of silver.
And everybody remarked what fine fell
OWs they were and how willing they
we're to impart Observation-Disclosures
n advance.
REEF ORME.
KaDaa. Nav 25.