davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02
A Judge of Horses.
From the Detroit Free Press.

A city hall official who has owned a
bay horse for the last seven years has
been talking of buying another to
match him, and the other day some of
the boys went up to the barn and
brought his equine down and hitched
him in front of the building, and then
had the owner come out and look at
him.
''That beast" he said as he looked
into his mouth, "is all of 20 years old;
l also notice that he is spawned and
weak in the back"
ooh, you are mistaken, SIR" replied
the seller. 81 warrant him as sound az
dollar"
Don't attempt to jockey me p said
the owner. II wouldn't give you $75
for him. Talk about match Why,
he's three shades lighter, 200 pounds
heavier, and looks like an old cow be-
side my horse You'd better make a
dicker with some expressman."
When the truth came out the bill for
'setting 'em up for the boys was over
S4D
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02
Don't Do Tt.
From the Boston Herald.

Says prominent Boston publisher:
II mean, if you are contemplating
writing a book, don't do it. Don't waste
your time. Don't be led away by the
infatuation of book writing. Don't
think that you can write the Great
American Novel, that you have heard
SO much about ever since you were a
boy. The man who writes it will never
know it; he will never know that he
has accomplished anything out of the
ordinary. The public will not recog-
nize his merit until he has crossed over.
| mean that the pathway of authorship
is strewn with wrecked hopes, with I'M
satisfied ambitions, and with bitter dis
appointments. Where there are many
aspirants for the chaplet of Immortality,
there are few, indeed, who reach the
goal Of their fondest hopes. There is
nothing SO precarious and exasperat-
ing as the struggle for public approval
of literary productions The venture is
good deal like lottery, and the best
productions are not always the most
successful. Accident, caprice the
humor of the hour, makes one author,
and irretrieyably ruins the hopes of a
far better writer"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02
MR.. GREGORY RESIGNS.
Villas Friend Suddenly Concludes to Re-
tire to Private Life.

WASHINGTON, D. c., April 23.-Secre-
tary Villas in letter to Senator Chand-
Ter, before whose committee Indian
Agent Gregory is witness, states that
Mr.. Gregory has rendered his res
ignation. ALI the witnesses, including
Mr.. Gregory, were discharged this
morning. Mr.. Gregory's resignation
has not yet been accepted, and he re-
turns to his post at once to close up his
official affairs.
Villas letter is practically an appeal to
Chandler to stop investigating Greg,
DRY. 1t states that he has REL
signed, but that he is need
spring logging is over and begs that he
be excused from further attendance on
the investigation, at least temporarily.
WASHINGTON, d. c., April 23.-The
charges against Indian Agent Gregory
were, in substance, that the Indians on
the reservation were not permit
ted to dispose of their pine
to the loggers offering the best
terms, it being claimed that the
agent would not approve such sales.
and that certain loggers who, desiring
to contract on the reservations, were
excluded and the privileges granted
only to persons who were in favor. 1t
was also charged that the objects in
tended to be gained when the In
dams were permitted to sell their
pine had been lost sight of
and the regulations thrown around cut
ting of timber for the purpose of pro-
tecting the Indians had been grossly
perverted and the pine sold by whole
sale without the slightest restriction to
| protect the Indian. 1t was charged that
Gregory had violated the rules of the
! Indian office in neglecting to have con-
! tracts approved by the Commissioner of
| Indian Affairs. The charges were first
made to the Indian Office, then to the
| Interior Department, and lastly to the
Senate, steps being taken by the latter
| to investigate the charges.
incidentally it came out during the
| investigation that the most extensive
| trict was the Superior Lumber Com
pany; that Col. Villas is a stockholder in
| that company; that its manager, Col.
| knight, is warm personal friend of
Secretary Villas; that the Indian agent
was former employe of the Superior
Lumber Company and was appoint
ed to the office on the indorse-
ment of Villas and Knight; that
the Superior Lumber Company was
saving logs cut on the reservation-thus
| showing that in a measure Secretary
Villas, through his connection with the
Superior Lumber Company, was profit
ing by the alleged wrongful acts OF
Gregory.
Col. Villas made desperate fight in
defense of Agent Gregory. When the
rottenness of Gregory's methods were
made plain to the Senate committee,
Mr.. Chandler wrote to Villas and Con-
gresham Atkins demanding the remov-
al of the agent. Col. Villas answered to
both letters, refusing to remove the
agent and vouching for Gregory's hon
esty and faithfulness.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02
He Won the Bet.
From the Detroit Free Press,

FROM the DETROIT Free PreSS.
They had been talking of the sharp
games played on innocent people by
sharp men, when Green looked up and
said
Gentlemen, I don't brag about my
wife being sharper than a razor, but
I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll write
note, sign it with my own name, and ask
her to deliver my Sunday suit to bearer
for repairs. You may send it up to the
house, and I'll bet you S. she'll be too
sharp to let the clothes co.
''We'll take that bet ~ called two or
three voices, and there being five of
them they Clipped in dollar apiece.
The note was written and signed and
dispatched by messenger boy. In
half an hour he returned, empty-hand-
ed as to clothes, but having note which
read:
''Come off the perch All the clothes
you have in the world are on your
back ~
Gentlemen" said the winner, as he
pocketed his flyer, ''let me recommend
it to you as something which always
wins, and as I must meet man at
o'clock will now bid you goodday p'
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02
He Was Ratified.
Paris Cor. PHILADELPHIA Telegraph.

ParlS Cor. Pnllauelphla Telegraph.
A very absurd story was recently told
Nice lottery. The first prize ($100,0OO)
was drawn by workman of the great
India-rubber factory at Langlee, near
Montargis, which belongs to and is
under the direction of Alexander
Hutchinson, formerly of Connecticut,
but for many years resident Of Paris.
The lucky prize winner, on coming in
to possession of his fortune, Immediately
bought himself a high hat and a hand
some overcoat, and hired carriage, in
which he and his family went driving
around the country. Up to the present
time the chief acquisition he owes to
his wealth is a severe attack of dyspep-
sia for the form of self-indulgence to
which he is inclined is that of good eat
ing, and he has tried most of the cele-
brated dishes at the leading restaurants
of Paris, with the result as aforesaid.
But the amusing history connected
with the Nice lottery is told not of him
but Of less fortunate tlcket-holder who
was one of his comrades. This latter
individual was very ignorant and stu
pid fellow, thorough type of the I'M
cultivated class of the English peasantry
He could not read, but on hearing that
his fellow workman had won 500, goo he
contrived to decipher the numbers OF his
own ticket, Which bore, as did all those
that were issued, an announcement of
the grand prize. He became wildly ex-
cited and rushed about the village, pro-
claiming to everybody that he, too, had
won 500, 900 francs-it was on his ticket.
"But that is on every one Of the tick
ets," demonstrated his friends. He
would not listen-everybody was trying
to cheat him, he declared, and he must
find out how to get his prize paid over
to him. tTake your ticket to the mayor
of Montargis," was the advice he re-
ceived, "and he will tell you what to
do"
That was all very well, but how was
he to convey his ticket to Montargis
for, when he first bought it, fearing that
it would get lost, he had pasted it on the
door of his COW house and could not con-
trive to detach it. So finally he took the
door off its hinges, hoisted it upon his
back, and marched with it into Montar-
gis distance ofsome two miles, followed
by a jeering crowd composed of all the
rabble and all the small boys ofLanglee.
The mayor could only give the poor fell
low the same information as had already
been impaired to him by his comrades,
namely, that his ticket was worthless;
and so he was forced to carry his door
all the way back home again.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02
Irish Savings Banks.
From the London World.

The statistics of deposits in Irish
savings banks, given in the registrar
generals recent report, prove the truth
of my statement that, speaking general
ly, Irish poverty is a myth. Ever since
1881 the deposits have been increasing
continuously, the total increase amount
ing to nearly million and quarter
sterling. The precise figures are, on
December 81, 1881, e3,765,O0O, and on
December 81, 1887, e4,975,OO0. The
money in these banks represents small
savings, and comes almost entirely
from the agricultural population, which,
be it observed, has diminished during
the period. The startling statement
may therefore be made with confidence
that the tenant farmers of Ireland, as a
class, are considerably richer than they
were six years ago, and it may be as
serted with equal confidence that the
same could not be said Of any other
class of the community IN the United
Kingdom.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02
Book Agent GouId's Story.
A New YORK Book Canyasser.

'IfI named the wealthy people or
the famous people who began as book
agents 1 would give you list as long as
a voters register. Jay Gould, for in
stance, was book agent, and a most
successful one. jays strong suit was in
telling stories. One of them was about
Benjamin John Brown. The story, as
Jay Gould used to tellit, was that Brown
died and went to heaven. He knocked
at the gate St. Peter admitted him to
the vestibule. What's your name p
says St. Peter. Benjamin John Brown
SAYS s. Brown. Bring IN, me ledger B, said
B was brought. st. Peter turned the
leaves until he found the Browns.
Then he ran his finger down the list.
"'Brown-B Brown Brown Brown,
Alexander = Brown, Bartholomew =
Brown, Benjamin Brown, Benjamin
John ah, here we are ? said st, Peter.
Brown, Benjamin John, ID. First
floor to the left, Mr. Brown. Mind the
Oh
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02

THE results of high license in Phila-
delphia as shown by the first four
weeks work of the license court are
very gratifying to those who are apos-
ties ofthis reform. Of the 3,20I holders
of licenses in 1887, but 1854 petitioned
for renewal, of whom l, 051 were disap-
proved and 7S5 approved by the board
of judges. That is, the number of
drinking resorts has been reduced to one
fourth the former figure. Denials of the
right to exist have been issued in the
cases of those saloons which have DISC
beyed and disregarded the laws re-
strictions. No favoritism has been
shown, other than that those who have
complied with the excise laws have
been preferred.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02

PRINCE ALEXANDER must take prompt
action or be will have no reputation at
all in Chicago. He has lost caste there
already because he has not eloped with
Victoria. "The Prince under cover of
night" says the Chicago Herald, ''should
get his lady love out of her chamber
window on rope ladder, hurry her
into a carriage and elope with her
across the German frontier" Then
they should take wedding trip to this
country, and if the prince should dis
cover that the marriage would precipi-
tate European war, they could run up
to Chicago and get divorce.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02

The United States supreme court has
decided, only Justice Field dissenting,
that the suppression of the sale of oleo-
margarine is within the police powers
of every state for the protection of its
citizens. The United States law taxing
the business of making and selling oleo-
margarine is upheld as revenue meas
ure, with justifable incidental discrim,
ination against fraudulent butter. Tn.
der this decision it is evident that laws
intended mainly to suppress the manu-
facture and sale of oleomargarine must
originate with the states.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02
Wisconsin Pensions.

The following Wisconsin petitioners
have recently been granted pensions
sylvanus F. Wallihan, Footville; Will
lam O. Brice, Independence; VIM. II
Burns, Milwaukee; Frederick Fake,
Norwalk; Dennis Murray, Union; Hi
ram Conroy, Sun Prairie; Frederick
Feitzling, Quincy; Wellington Abbey,
South Byron; Albert Richmond de
ceased), Melvina; William P. Mills,
Stevens Point; Jas. B. Fowler, Baraboo
Horace Stroud, Oshkosh; Sebastian
Spiedel, Richland Center; John Hacker,
Black Earth; John A. Spoltz, Sparta
Ellen, widow of John King, GAINESVILLE;
VIM. Sewing, Fillmore; Ebenezer Rifen-
burg, National Milwaukee Home; Henry
D. Lockwood, Oregon; William Bar
tholomew, Madison; L. II. Walker, On
tario; Thereon E. Streckler (deceased),
Menominee; Christopher Burnardt,
La Crosse Alexander McCaskey,
Homewood; S. Rosenbaum, alias Solo
mon Rosenbaum (deceased), Prairie du
Chen: Sarah Ann, widow of E. D.
Blanchard, Mineral Point; Susan, widow
of S. Rosenbaum, alias Solomon RoseD-
baum, Prairie du Chen; Peter Feho,
Grand Rapids; Jacob Elmer, Butter
nut; Timothy Broughton, Kendall; Ma
than REYNOLDS, Madison; Jacob Ham
dehl, Melrose; Patrick Price, Stock
bridge; David B. Sherman, Mount Ia
Dor; VIM. Henry Nelson, Stevens Point;
Solomon P. Crosby (deceased), Durand
Patrick Finnegan, Boardnan; Emil
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02

THE historical mouser on the staff OF
the London Figaro has discovered that
during the life time of the late German
Emperor there lived and worked and
died eighty-nine popes, emperors, sui
tans and presidents. Forty-nine kings
form the most numerous group, which
includes George III, George ~. and
William v, while the group Of presl-
dents comes next with twenty-five, OF
which twenty-one are the American
presidents, dating from George WASH
ingtOn to Garfield.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02
Nervous DisIocation of the Jaw.
From the Troy Press.

DR.. Lester, of South Troy, reports a
strange case of nervous paralysis. Miss
Alice McGuirk has for long time been
a sufferer from nervousness, and the at
tack usually terminates in the disloca-
ton of her jaw. DIR. Lester has had to
reset her jaw on several occasions. Yes
terday morning she called at his office
with the jaw out of place. The doctor
set it, and while he was conversing with
his patient he saw strange twitching
about her face, which was followed with
a spasm. When this had passed away
it was found that the jaw was dislocated,
and another operation had to be per
formed.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02

IT has doubtless been an unjust i'm
putation on the intelligence of the yeo-
many of West Virginia for years that
in the outer districts they were not
aware that Andrew Jackson was dead.
But. were it true, West Virginia would
now have to yield the palm to North
Carolina In a trial at Iredell, yester-
day, witness testified that he was un-
certain as to the death of st. Paul the
Apostle, but had heard that John the
Baptist was still living up on Hog Elk, a
mountain stream of that state.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02
Bought Body and Soul.
From the Philadelphia Times.

Ferdinand de Lesseps has spent 81
600, 900 annually for pushing his schemes
by means of printers ink, principally
on the press of Paris. Of this the Figa-
70 is said to have received yearly $780,
900; the Gaulois, 100000; the Matin,
$4,000; the Intransigeant, $4,000; the
Justice, $1,000; the Petit Journal, $780,
900, and other newspapers according to
their estimated value. When De Les
seps began with the canal at Panama
the newspapers violently attacked his
project and he has since paid them what
they asked
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02

STAGE-sTRUCK young women are taught
a lesson by the experiences of the wife
Of the cashier Of the Brookls n Board OF
Education. This woman, who has been
in private life for ten years, and who is
now happy wife and mother, was re-
Gently shocked by the discovery Of her
own picture in scant stage attire among
the fancy photographs issued by to-
bacco firm. Her husband is angry
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02

OLD Trinity Church in New York is
crumbling and the roof will have to be
removed to permit of necessary repairs
upon the insecure walls. Thus it has
proved again that botch workmanship is
not peculiar to this wicked generation,
but that our fathers also builded fiimsily
If thev were not watched.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02

The statement that Mr.. Crowley, the
intelligent and formerly well-behaved
chimpazee in Central Park, is growing
more and more wicked every day"
furnishes another sad illustration of the
demoralizing effects resulting from pro-
longed residence in New York. Can
any one live in New York for term Of
years and retain his virtue?
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02

WHILE it is impossible to frame law
to correct the tendency in certain ignor-
ant and idiotic persons to blow out the
gas, it is altogether within the province
Of lawmakers to prevent the too fire.
quent repetition of the "didn't-know-it-
was-loaded" act. A wholesome dread
Of the states prison often enforces en-
hghtment on certain points without
which peculiar crimes and misdemean-
nrs would not flourish.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02

A BILL suggested by the Indian Rights
Association proposes to establish courts
on all reservations to be run by Indian
clerks, jurors, commissioners, etc. This
utopian scheme does not include in its
provisions an appropriation for shotguns
and tanglefoOt.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02

THE bill legalizing marriage with "the
deceased wife's sister" has passed the
English house of commons by decisive
vote. This is a shocking inroad upon
English conservatism. We may now
expect that man will be permitted to
marry his deceased wife's sisters daugh-
ter, or his grandmother's sister, neither
of whom is eligible at present.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02

Two Springfield (Ohio) hotel owners
have been sentenced to short terms in
Jail and also subjected to fine, for fur
nishing oleomargarine instead of butter
to guests, without expressly notifying
them as required by law. The law of
the commonwealth is great thing, but
now and then gets into pretty small
bI1SinpCS
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02
AYERTED THE SPLIT.
The Threatened Trouble Among the Bou.
langists is Averted.

The Threatened Trouble Among the Bou-
langists is Averted.
PARIS. April pa majority of the
deputies for the Seine Department. have
signed a manifesto to the electors con-
demning the Boulangist movement.
The senators for that department have
been asked to attach their signatures to
the manifesto. The threatened split
among the Boulangists seems to have
been averted La Cocarde officially an
nounces that Gen. Boulanger will not
be nominated for other constitu-
encies. Gen. Boulanger has issued
invitations to political dinner at the
Cafe Richie on Friday.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02

NINETEENTH century civilization is
gradually getting hold on Mexico. The
governor of Guanaiuata has suppressed
bull fights for the future on the ground
that it is demoralizing sport and not IN
keeping with the spirit of progress.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02
Booming the South.

;. Hot SPRINGS, n. c., April 25.-A pre-.
llmlnary meeting was held here last
night to formulate plan of Organization
for the immigration convention. A
resolution was passed to the effect that
each city in the South with over 5000
inhabitants shall contribute $1,000
toward establishing a bureau of immi-
grafton in New York city.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02

married, but on her wedding tour her
husband died and she could not get
back her position as a teacher. Her
father had left her little piece of pine
land IN New Jersey and in very little
way she started Horticulture. Now
she has taken her two younger sisters
into partnership and does big bust
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02

THE Woman's Christian Temperance
Union is to have headquarters in Chi
ca 20 costing over $500, 900. The temper
ance women require much more eX-
pensive headquarters than the intern
perate man. The style of headquarters
which he most affects is a hat with a
haNihla hand
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02
Opposed to a Union.

LOUISVILLE, KY, April 27.-The Pres
bytery of Louisville has adopted the fol-
lowing concerning the union of the
Northern and Southern Churches: "The
quiet Leace and prosperity of both
churches will be best secured by ceasing
to agitate or prosecute the question of
organic union, at least for the present"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02

In the savings banks of Rhode Island
the deposits amount to 100000. The
population is little more than 300,000
SO that the average savings represented
by the deposits in the savings banks
alone are about SIT per capita fol
every man, woman and child in the
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02
FRANCE EXTENDS A HAND.
Proposing an International Law With.th,
United States.

PARIS, April 27.-Notice has been
given in the Chamber of Deputies of
The proposed introduction of resolu-
ton signed by 1l2 members, rep
resenting the necessity of amending
the present system of international
law and expressing a particular wish
for an understanding between France
and the United States with a view to
obtaining the defnitive acceptance of
the principle of arbitration among civ
tlized nations
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02

A STRENGTHENING contract running
through five years has lately been made
by the city of Buffalo with a woman
contractor. If she does her work well,
the municipal street-cleaners of the
future will very likely be women. For
if she does well, she will do better than
men contractors have ever vet done.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02
Vice in the Harmless Potato
From the Boston Budget.

Much of the so-called ivory now il
use is simply potato. A good, SOUND
potato washed in diluted sulphuric acid
then boiled in the same solution anC
then slowly dried, is all ready to be
turned into buttons, poker chips ano
innumerable other things that ivory
was used for once upon a time.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02

HERE is a homely and comprehensive
statement of the wage and labor prob
lem to which the fnest-drawn and most
elaborate theories of the reformers have
got to accommodate themselves: "When
you see two men after one boss, wages
are low; when you see two bosses after
one man wages are HIGH =
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-05-02

CONSUL GADE, at Bergen, Norway, re-
ports to the State Department that the
herring catch in Norwegian waters fo1
the season just closed amounts to only
81 900 barrels against a catch of 10000
barrels during the season of 1887. This
failure has resulted in rise in the price
per barrel from four to seven crowns, OF
from 81 OF to 81 ST.