Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-04-28
yours truly

idictatoD
The above is, Of course, more or less
personal. replies Bill Nye, in the st.
Louis Post Dispatch, but the question
is one which concerns many other
young men who may be thus afflicted.
|, therefore, take the liberty of answer
ing an inquiry publicly which | would
otherwise regard as strictly contiden-
tial, suppressing the name, however,
and the first pal agraph, both of which
read like the sollloquy of "hell-box,
or the smothered CALCULATIONS of q
"pied FORM
70 the correspondent, whose letter
is above given, | might say that l be-
lieve there would be an opening here
for him if he would give himself up to
q certain C ass of work. OF course, he
could hardly hope to enter the reg
u.ar channels of commercial cores
pondence with a typewriter that has
such pronounced impediment in its
speech as this one has, but could he
not hope to get a job at Nolapuk head
quarters?
Certainly there ought to be place
somewhere for one whose only trouble
seems to be a kind of information of
the bowels.
There might be future here for
such a graphic and graceful style of
writing, ii it could he used in reporting
telephone remarks over crossed W res.
The word-painting and vulgar fractions
are similar, and it might be made to
arouse good deal of interest if prop
erly worked up.
He might also utilize his wonderful
command of language by noting down
and classifying the names of stations
on the elevated road as rendered by the
elocutionists who are in the habit of
Jerking the doors aiar and opening on
the antique air of the car vocal pack
age consisting of one whoop, two
grunts ard falling infection.
Surely there ought to be chance in
New York for such man and type
writer with such vocabulary. Many
channels seem to open up to one who
would strive to excel.
OF course it would be necessary that
he should tone down some of his eX-
travagant figures of speech, and avoid
overeXertion OF the punctuator, but
with his wealth Of fu l stops he might
do we'll on period and his space
work would certainly attract attention.
Or he could go into the counting-room
of man who did not advertise, and
do assignment work.
The typewriter, in strong and will
ing hands, is smitier than the sword.
l look for the typewriter to take the
place of Indian oratory in our litera-
ture, and its taking notes will soon be
heard, | hope, in homes where the
one-lcggcd pen ard the bottle of blue
ing all the writing now are doing.
Come to the metropolis, SX:N!Afm =.
Come with your abnormal, and your
little tYpes5 writER. Come with your
startling style of English and your
chaste methods of celebrating space.
Come and get acquainted with mr.
s. N.sAgE and mir 1855. gould. J!
Here you Will meet many yumerus
people who will amuse You to high
Q. You Will also meet Mr.. Anthony
cOmStocN. who will lie Iuire you to
drapc all your figures in the following
manner lS).
Come to New York and get new
soft palate put into your typewriter,
and have an operation performed on
its tonsls.
Come and visit the produce a a
49, lblblbblbbblbblbb Exchange.
Come and see Wall pfd. o S$SOo0
~ street. Ride on our Elevated
Railway from BBLXZT'**-(O) MI!
N&:; rd, street, GGXNKKrrtt ??Bl4&
BlackerneX street Visit the brig.
Theodore, dam Tarantula straight for
place, b. IN. Rob Roy dam Ella Jack
son horse races!
The more yOn mix up with lis the
more you will like us. We New-York-
crs from Wyoming Territory enjoy
having people thrown among us. You
would meet with hearty welcome
whether you came to grow up with our
bacteria or to buy green goods. Cor
diality is our one weakness. If cor
dial greeting would not suit YOU, you
can take apolinaris water. With your
natural tendency toward deirium
trcmens, perhaps that would be best,
anyway.
l used to be acquainted with young
man who wrote beautiful hand-SX 20
-ot Nfm?', for that was before the
days of typewriters. He would bring
out his writing materials and his tongue
and make corkscrew peacock swim
ming in large cranberry marsh in
tested by looIs and funny business, all
without taking his pen off the paper.
lie was thorough artist, with
lofty soul, but he could not
spell. lie could construct q graceful
swan with halo of chirographical
worms all around it, but nature and
art had denied him the humber Joys
of photography. He could mako q
lovely purple scroll with green fringe
in it and red-eyed bobolinks, with hell
otrope bosoms, perchcd on space and
bearing in their bronzed talons yet
other smaller scrolls that vera as
graceful as doughnut horse, and on
these scrolls would be written such
glittering truths as these: In Friend
ships bright gerland, Please regard me
as your Humbel furgetmenott. "Look
up, press Onnerds x you will e there"
or, in the immortal words of Charles a.
Dena, but with his own methods of or
biography, "Adew vein WorLD, I'm
going Hoam."
But his style is robbed of much of its
grace and beauty by immersing it in
cold and pulsejess type. He was
bold and fearless writer, and his hands
were ever red with the blood of mur
dered English. lie broke down the
high walls established by the brainy
1,ut Accommodated and Hiuhtu Noah