Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1888-04-21
HUnOR.

| A HEBREW dealer in queenswa1e
claims to be . Jew-dishes business
imam. -ArcolG Record.
| As A general thing, the man who 4
hull OF himself finds his appetite un'
Isppeased -Binghamton Leader.
ARE you a stenographer?" he ssked
Of the bartender. @No," was the rsply,
I'm an egg-noggrapher. "-SJtisgs.
They hardly finish stalking out . new
town In Kansas before they begin talk
ing about belt railroad. S9ft
ings.
sWILL tho coming man use both
arms 2 asks scientist. He will If his
girl knows how to drive.-Onaahd
World.
@UNcLE RAsrUs, I am very sorry to
hear that you have lost your wife.
sNeber mind, boss, never mind. Is
had de 'sperience. "-Tid-Bits.
SANDY accepted the gude-wife's invi-
tation with the reservation, "If I am
spared "Wee!, weel," sa d the lady,
II ye 40 dcad I'll not expect ye.
THIS is the season when q man who
wants to remember the poor can sit
down and think of himself all day
long.-Shoe and Leather Reporter.
PAT-And who is it lives there. Mike,
in the big stone house! Mike-Why,
that ould gintleman I was telling ye of,
that died so suddenly last winter, of a
faver.
IT always bothers Frenchman who
is learning English, to read one day
that murder has been committed and
the next day that the murderer has
been committed.
MISS HAzELEYEs Ito absent but en-
amored Mr.. Mallow)-Come, Mr.. NAL
low, won't you join us and take hand ?
Mr.. Mallow-Ah-er- awfully
I will accept yours.
E9GAR-Help! Won't you choke
the dog off, officer? He's killing me /
Otficer-Choke him off, brute. What
do you take me for? I'm an officer of
the s. P. G. A.-Tid-Bits.
INSTEAD of sewing, it is said that
tailors now glue the seams of garments
together. Wearers of tailor-made
clothes will now be more stuck up than
ever.-Boston Transcript.
In Boston the ladies take their knit
ting with them to lectures. They feel
as though it is hardly the thing to fall
asleep and they must do something to
keep their eyes opan. - Yo,akers
s, atesma1a.
AN evil omen: care you supersti-
tious? ?" "Not very. Why?" "Do you be-
lieve that it is sign of death when a
dog bowls under your window at
night?" "Yes, if can find my gun be-
fore the dog gets away"
WILSON, the celebrated vocalist, was
upset one day in his carriage near
Edinburgh. A Scotch paper, after re-
cording the accident, said: "We are
happy to state he was able to appear
the following evening in three pieces.
"SEE, father" said a son, with the
proud consciousness of duty done, Il
have saved $500 from my years allow
ance." "Good," exclaimed the old
man; you are wise young fellow,
Charley" "Yes, father; and I wish
you would add $500 to it; I've got to
pay some debts. THE Epoch.
HELLO! Smith, I'm glad to see you
alive. The doctor told me he had
given you up" eyes, Jack, I had q
close call, but money saved me-"
"Why, the doctor said you couldn't
pay him." Eyes, that's just it. If I
had possessed the money, he would
have continued his visits, and would
not have been here to tell the tale. -
ArcOld Record.
"CAN I sell you six bushels of peach
stones to-day?" he boldly inquired as
he entered Cleveland confectionery
house. "No, sir!" was the prompt re-
ply from the senior partner. The man
went out. but he had not gone hundred
feet, when he was overtaken by a
gentleman who said: "I'm junior part
ner of the house. I do the peachstone
business, while the senior attends to
straight almonds and the church. I'll
take your lot, and the next time you
come inquire for me. "-WaN Street
NelDs.