The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1888-02-01
A Talk With BiII Nye.


Bill Nse's real name, strange to relate,
Is William Nye. Tint may not seem sur
prising. and yet it i, for the adoption of
a false name Is trait that literary men
and burglars bear in common The man
who Is responsible for this discovery is
Edward D. Cowan, who Is now shadow
ing James O. Balm in Europe in the in
terast Of the Chicago Nssrs Cowan was
connected with the Denver Tri5usle at the
saale time that the erimsoncrested poet
Of the Wild West, Eugene Field. was
also Illuminating It's pages. In looking
over the exchanges C0wan's attention
Was frequently attracted by side-splitting
paragraphs which appeared in distress
Ell looking sheet called the Laramie
Bs8asfrl'g. Investigation resulted in the
discovery that they we're the free eontri-
button OF BooHsa7ag compositor named
Bill I'VE o II. Rotheker, the editor of
the Denver Tribune, 50 dazed the newly
discovered huInorist with a magnificent
offer of . salary of s25 a week, that Nye
lefl the printing case and plunged in the
maddening whiri Of literature.
Now the Wortd IS his oyster, and he
only a little more than thirty years Of
age and baldheaded at that.
When I told him that would hold
converse with him, he looked az me with
plying sort of smile, and said: ~Would
you train men to be ike nie?r Not no.
ticing my shudder he continued: Would
yon have Americans become race Of
hunarists2 How sad 4then this world
would be How dreadful to eontem-
pistel Better nip some Of them in the
bgsl and lessen the number. Al sir,
you do not know the dreadful response
biiity which weighs me down and which
has made me bal,l ere my time. Let me
confess 10 you, sir, that wouIi not dare
10 he funny a | can. The possibilities Of
the result are too fearful % consider, even
for 4 moment. No, sir, leave me 10 car
nv my burden alone"
eWhy. my dear SIR exclaimed, ''this
sort Of thing viii never do. Il Is your
duty as literary man, TO tell the public
at what hour YOU 70 to bed, what you
dream Of, at what hour you rise, what
you eat, when and how yea work and
how much yeu pay the butcher weekly.
Let the secret of your humor, if you will,
remain q secret still"
~Well,g be said wearily. ~that which
you ask is easily answered. pursue a
calm. peaceful, uueventful. in flct,a model
life. 80 to bed with TIE lark and rise
with the evening cock bird If my
dreams would assume visible form Phin-
eas T. Barnuu would not have been
forced to send to the wilds of Soudan for
a brand uew menayerie. eat when
get chance. and a. for the butcher, 1
have not the honor Of his acquaintance
I am aware that this plain, unyarnished
tale does not agree with those told BY
nv fellow geniuses IN the unfeneed field
of literature, bat it Is true, and truth and
Bill Nye have never been strangers. As
for whst you fiatteringly term my humor,
will only say that it i not carved out
with hatchet nor upliffed with crow
bar. II simply babhles-not soapsud,
puneturahIe bubble. but the real spring
like, gurgling bubble that wells up from
a heart overfosins with innocence and
guileIessness That is the sort OF a hu-
niorist | an. But as intimased before.
neither the bored nor the world can af-
ford TO have my tribe increased
Let me add to this what Mr.. Nye's
modesty would not permit him to say
that be is good fellow. jolly fellow,
and one who viii never -Iose friend
for 8 Jest and thus deserve to die .
beyar by the bargain---N. y Gruphss.