The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-10-04
WISE AND OTHERWISE.

f hel (shuddering)-"How the trees
moan and sigh tonight ~ Bobby (speaks
whereof he knows)-"Well, | guess
you'd moan ami sigh if you were as full
of green apples as they be-"
There's a divinity that doth hedge
king, but put three other kings and an
ace in the same hand and there'll be no
hedging.
Miss Ethel-"Did you have pleasant
time at the Wabash party last night,
Clara Pr Miss Cara-"Not very, Ethel;
| wasn't feeling at all like my usual self
| danced but four times, and only went
into supper once"
We have a speedy and positive cure
for Catarrh, Diphtheria, Canker Mouth
and Headache, in SIIILOH'S CATARRH
REMEDY. A nasal injector free with
each bottle. Use it if you desire health
and sweet brea h. Price so cents. Sold
by j. 7. Shurtlef.
An economist eXclaims that three ci-
gars days day will supply family
with meat. The economist has evident
ly got his fac mixed. He means cab
bage.
y large number of dudes collected at
an exposed corner last Sabbath, where
the wind was high, and caught colds.
Each little d Ring was speedily cured
by DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup,
The English language consists of
$4,000 words, and the man who is taking
a barrel Of apples down cellar generally
manages to use twO-thirds of them in
about five minutes.
(Uncle takes Tommy to the barber to
have his hair cut.) Barbcr-"Well,
Tommy, how do you want your hair
cut ?" Tommy-"Oh, short, please,
with hole in the middle like uncle's."
Julia, perhaps am staying too late.
Is not that your father tapping on the
floor overhead PSI YES, Arthur: but
don't go yet. He isn't dangerously mad
until he goes tearing along the hall beat
ing the gong"
Distress after eating, heartburn, sick
headache and indigestion are cured by
Hoods Sarsaparilla. 1t also creates
good appetite.
How much of that $4,000 have you
now, George You only got it two
months ago, you know well, ] had
'-'''uN an iVul "S', bllI uOI hllOW now
much there is left now" "Why Pr
MY wife has just gone on a shopping
expedition"
Manual training in the SCHOOL," cried
Featherweight, Indignantly. "No, sir.
If ever caught teacher lifting hand
to my boy Jimmy, there would be the
biggest kind Of fight believe child
rem should be spanked at home-at
home, SIR
st. Louis Bookseller Ito customer)-
Books, sir ? yes, sir what can | .how
you pr Customer-'I've got my book
case pretty nigh filled up. Iwant some
thin not over six inches high, AN enough
of EN- to occupy two foot an a half %
shelvin'."
Warner Log Cabin Sarsaparilla
Regulates the Regulator. Largest Sar-
saparilla bottle in the market. Manu-
featured by p"oprietors of Warmers Safe
Cure. Sold by all druggists. Take no
other-it is the best.
Finks Cooking in the mirror)-
George, why didn't you remove this
crease spot from the lapel of my coat Pr
George-"Dat n grease spot, sab fought
it was one o dem campaign buttons
and was tellin' 'Rastus dat it was dc
purtiest one I'D seen yet"
Chumley Clara is certainly a
lovely girl. ] used to be very soft on
her, Dumley. In fact think would
have married her but for the determined
opposition of one of the family" Dunn
ley-"Her father, ] suppose Pn "Chum-
ley-"No, herself"
MY dear boy" said mother to her
son, us he handed round his plate for
more turkey, this is the fourth time
you We been helped Il know, mother"
replied the boy, but that turkey pecked
me once and want to get square with
him" lie got his turkey.
| can cheerfuly recommend Ely's
Cream Balm to The suffering public for
hay fever and stoppage of the nasal pas
sages. have tried it and find it gives
immediate relief.-J. E. Rector, Little
Rock, Ark. 37t2
'No, my wife is not good looking. In
fact she's very homely Blu, she's good
and talcnte :, and am proud of her.
She's of a literary turn. | believe
Yes, she is now contributing a series
of articles to the newspapers ION
'''''s HHJNNe iAoh w w btNulllul. '
John said Mrs. Billus, affeotionate-
ly, Il wish could do something to re-
lieye your too hache, or, at least, TO help
you to forget it. Shall sing for you ?il'
And she seated herself at the piano.
II guess | can stand it, Maria,
moan d Mr.. Billus, bracing himself in
his chair ''go ahead
1t seems that the only way of detect
ing the new counterfeit $50 bills is to
measure them by genuine bill to see
whether it is one. eigh h of an inch
shorter. 1t is nice state of affairs when
every man must be put in jeopardy un ..
less he can keep SEQ bill in his pocket
to measure his money by.
Are You Going
70 travel II so you must be very care
ful of your health, or your doctors bills |
will cost you more than your travelling |
expenses. A bottle of Sulphur Bitters
will IrJtect you from all sickness Incl |
dent tn change of climate. E'Uening |
7 telegram. 37i2
Minister (dining with the family
How did you like the sermon this
morning, Bobby 2" Bobby-"I didn't
pay much attention to it. ,ir.n Minister
much amused why not, Bobby p
B1bby-"l heard ma whisper 10 pa.
Same thing over and over sgain,' 40 |
iidn't think it was worth while"
G tizen-"No, l can't give you no
s.znz~sS4<1s.-ssz1.s.-----