Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1888-09-08

GIE@ ~ mad to Scratcn my
8&s5<5;s' head head a long time 13ns
de right one. While 1 wuz tryin' to
git up some pints, bright idea struck
me-like to knocked me down; hit
me SO hard that I had to rub some
arnica salve on the side O my head
right where it struck, and dis is de
idea: "Wharsumever de hen scratches,
right dar she expects to find bug"
I don't 'spect to 'splain beforehand
how Use gwine to treat dis subjeck.
Jist wait till 1 git through, and den
you'll know. Now, if you all can't
cotch de pints out oh de disclose as go
along, den you amt gwine to git 'em at
all, for [ can't stop to make too many
splanifcations. Bredren, I won't di-
vide my subjeck into words, clawses,
nor phreezes, but I'm just gwine to take
de whole thing at once-grab right a
hold of de middle of it and sail in.
1 want to draw your attention to de
important fact dat when de hen starts
out to git few bugs for her breakfast,
she goes to de right sort of ground.
She don't go out in de middle of de
big road whar de ground is hard enough
to take de skin off a moke's snout.
She wouldn't 'spect to git no bugs dar.
She got more sense dan dat. She jist
goes to some place whar de ground is
soft and black, KNOWN dat, if she
can't find bugs, she can git grub
worms as thick as de h'ar on dogs
back. And to all contents and pup
poses bugs and grub worms may be
ensidered the same thing in dis lect-
ure.
Now, some men an women seem to
have a. heap of energy-always ATOP
pin around, but don't seem to git
much done OATS worth anything. DER
surroundings don't seem to suit 'em, and
by DAT law of de survival of de fittest,
dey gifts turned down. 'Spect, if de
truth was known, dey's a-scratchin' for
bugs in de wrong sort O. ground.
What ought dey to do when dey find
out dat things amt a-j'inin' right, and
dat it amt no use to try to make round
plug fit a square hole? Why dey
ought do like de old hen-go to anud-
der place whar dey can do better.
Now you may notice de fact dat de
hens don't usually git out in de sand
and scratch for de exercise oh der
muscles. Dey must see dat dey's a
gwine to get a proper return for der
labor. If dey don't think dat dey's
gwine to git some bugs dey won't waste
DER vallyble time a scratchin'-for
wharsumever de hen scratches, right
dar she expects to find bug.
Some men might profit by dis idea.
Don't go and make a big outlay O.
money less'n you 'spect to git some
proper return for it. You must work
wild Judgment. Don't do like de gen.
nywine one-hoss farmer-go and buy
fine bride for three dollars an den
come home an leave it hangin' on de
fence an let de calf chaw it up dat
night; or wear out his briches sittin'
on de fence while de grass is CROWN
at de rate of six inches day.
Every now and den you see man
whirl in like he's a gwine to set de
world afre-makin' all sorts O. new
tangled things to work on his farm.
He's got tired O. raisin' corn and cotton
amt gwine to fool wild 'em no more
gwine to make fortune raisin' turnips
or Irish 'taters or some SIGH thing. Den
sometimes you see him have bee gums
as thick as six in bed around his
house, and pear trees as thick dat dey
look like de quilts on a porcupine's
back. He won't talk to you about
nothing else but desc new tangled
things he's gwine to make fortune
on. 'Spect if de truth was known dat
man is a scratchin' in de sand for de
exercise of his muscles-no bugs dar to
git. You don't ketch de old hen at
any sort of business like dat. She's
got too much Judgment to waste her
time in any such way. For whar-
sumever de hen scratches, right dar she
expects to find bug.
De old hen don't put on airs, but
goes right along and tends to her own
business. She don't run around among
her neighbors gossippin' an stirrin' up
scandal. Pity dat some people can't
take lessons from her about dis. She
amt got no hypocrisy nor deceit about
her, and right dar is whar she differs
from a heap O. members of de church,
fur am sorry to say dat many Chris
tians am effected wild dem complaints.
"A mans got mighty slender chance for
heaven
Dat holds to his piety only one day out O. seven.
And goes round among de sinners wild a lot o
solemn chat,
But nebber draps q nickel In de missionary hat
OATS for most in de meetin' house for raisin'
But lays aside his nsion wild his Sunday panta-
looms"
Bredren, bewar' O. dem sort O. men.
Don't trust 'em a bit furder'n you can
sling an elephant by de tail. But L
amt here to preach you sermon-only
to deliver lecture, and for fear you
might forgit it I'd better tell you my
subjeck agin: Wharsumever de hen
scratches, right dar she expects to find
q bug.
Now often you see man undertake
more dan he can do. He gifts too many
irons in de fre-don't look out some of
'em gwine to burn up, sure. Don't try
to do too many things at once. A man
can't b q lawyer, merchant, farmer
and q doctor all at de same time. He'd