The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1888-11-14
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

y SCTdlCl TdCG-DdIu-1u lJMlo.
The suit departmental courtroom.
A prominent band-The engagement
ring.
Made of all work-some women's
lives.
The toney girl-The soprano of the
choir.
The old notion that blood will tell is
a vein conceit.
The paper hanger makes money by
going to the wall.
Saratoga is famous for spring water
and Niagara for fall water.
ale can take it out in TRADE, as the
abusive man said of creditor.
If you want to know what a sliding
scale is try to handle wet fish.
Possibly the most courteous of all the
masts is the top-gallant. .--O Ocean.
Figures never lie, but the context fire.
quently does. Burlington Free Pres.
The man in the moon is doubtless
married to the maid of green cheese. 49,
Time.
Time flies and stays for no man. The
only fellow who can beat it is the
musician.
One of our fashionable tailors is build
ing yacht 1t is to be a cutter, of
course ocean.
Many young women who went to the
watering places this year to secure titled
husbands have returned quite crest
fallen. -.Hrcary
1t is q notable fact that however
cleanly seamen may be on the water,
they have a decided dislike to being
washed ashore - ocean.
An author, ridiculing the idea of
ghosts, asks how dead man can get
into a locked room. Easy enough.
With Il skeleton key -HercurV.
Ny baby knows her alphabet
As far as A and b,
But she can get no farther yet,
For there's squall at {.
-Oceat.
Speaking of doughnuts, an exchange
says the quickest way to digest them is
to eat only the hole and throw the rest
away. Despite this suggestion, the
whole of the doughnut will be eaten as
usual.
According to a scientific writer, "blue
eyes are simply turbid media 1t
sounds more poetical, though, to refer
to ''blue-eyed girl than to call her a
damsel with turbid media optics -Neo
York. Macs.
A Connecticut man las invented an
'elastic hat.n This is truly one of the
greatest inventions of the age. A hat
that swells with the swelling head will
supply great aud long felt want. ~ .'
Ior6 Telegram.
"Who is this Chinese Bill read about
as being in Congress so much" asked
Mrs Snaggs. "Oh, he's a brother of
Buffalo Bill replied her husba-d, who
then went on pursuing the baseball col
umn,-Pi tsbaIg CtTJaiie.
Not Much Breakage -"Oh, ,hc
Freuchmau was very harshly treated.
They threw him off the balcony into ths
street" They did. Well, was h.
hurt much: Anything broken" "-to.
thing but his English. n-HUpa's Bi.,r.
An exchange informs us thatthc kocly
motor is still alive. Th0n why doesn't
il mote. A. the man said when a. feli
the epitaph on the tombstone; al still
live, q "Wcll, if l was dead, l wouldn't
be ashamed to own up to it.'-Ee,0t
Transcript.
In Hartford, Conn, a icweled ca,kct
was locked and given 10 the bride % be
opened twenty-five years hence. We do
not know what it contained, and venture
to say if the bride doesn't it will be pricd
open will, q pair of scissors within a
week. -Jcre'sl's Weekly.
\ Newark man noticed an advertise
meut last week in which il was set forth
that the advertiser wCuld impart the
secret Of living for the small sum of 81.
lie sent the money and received q reply
containing two words. They were:
Don't die. IN .5art journal
Little boy 'AIamma, what does this
mean: Never judge man hy his
clothes'n Mamma -"Oh, it means
that men havel't sense enough 10 se.cct
clothes, aud its always hit OF miss with
'em. Women folks are the only ones
that can be judged 10y their clothes '--
PhlldsPhi1 RsDrd.
1t broke the engagement -lo loung
Spiuckie Ueferring to the evening beng
chilyl-"You should have brought
something that would have been a pro.
lection to you. Miss CToonall-"l
Ahould have thought Of that Ma said
There were SO many ramps around here
after dark. n-Jadge,