The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-01
FIGURES DO LIE.
A Saloonkeeper Fools the Liquor
Sellers to the Top of Their Bent.

OOAAOA . W bAAO Ivy VI hOAA
The way of the aggressor is sometimes as
hard as the way Of the transgressor. Recently
two Providence officials, on the, scent for seiz
ures, smelt whisky in the cellars and store
rooms Of a saloon. The Journal says they
made survey of the premises, and after making
the usual oath, they obtained search warrant,
authorizing them to search the premises of 4S4.
Now, it happened that the Saloonkeeper got
wind of the arrangement, and having large
stock Of valuable liquors on hand, which he
could not dispose Of quickly, he made Decline
for his lawyer
What is the number of your house!" he
asked.
-Four eighty-four. SIR"
Can you point it out?'
mo; they are wooden numbers, nailed on"
$50 much the better. Are your neighbors'
numbers wooden alsoS'
Yes"
"Who lives next door,"
"A tailor, sir"
"Are you on good terms:''
HE owes me $40 for drinks"
Good enough. Go and pull down his num-
Der 1872, and change it for yours"
Away went the saloonkeeper, and in less than
an hour the transfer Of numbers was made.
About noon the seizure chaps arrived with an
express wagon, and halted before 4S4. Not de-
tecting the change in the numbers, they marched
in on the innocent tailor, who blandly inquired
il they had come for suits.
"SuitsY Yes; suits in court" gasped one Of
the raiders. But the tailor had none of that
brand. He had suits in tweed and suits in other
makes but none in court They saw they had
made mistake, and at once proceeded to the
saloon next door, forgetting that the next door
was now 4S2.
You have liquors here" they sternly re-
marked to the man behind the bar.
"Lashings of it, gentlemen
We'll trouble you for it."
mo trouble at all. Mike, let these gentlemen
have all they want"
IAN we want is all you have my man."
That's so. You're no hogs, are you? OF
course, you have good warrant for your deed,
sirst"
The senior of the sellers hauled out search
warrant and passed it across the bar. The
saloonist treated it most respectfully and began
to spell it out. In a moment he pretended to be
startled.
Mike"
'Sor"
Throw the gents out if they take so much as
tint"
You resist lawful authority, do youg''
mo, Stree
Then we will proceed"
mike"
"Sor"
The door for these parties"
what do you mean?"
81 mean that this warrant authorizes you to
search the premises of my good neighbor. the
tailor, but not mine"
This is 4S4.''
Mike"
'SOr."
"ShoW the gents the number"
The officials then saw, to their dsmay, that
they had made a mistake in the number The
number oyer the door said 1872 for sure and the
taOr's was 4S4 1t would be fatal TO seize from
any house but that named in the warrant and
therefore they had to retire, foiled bafled, but
not beaten.
viii you take suthin', gents?" kindly in
qUired the Saloonist.
Yes, in about an hour from now" they said
darky and meaningly, as they drove off
The beer-seller knew that they would soon
return with new warrant, so, without loss of
time, Mike was ordered to restore the numbers
to their proper places The work had not been
finished many minutes when the officials drove
up again. They found another wagon at the
door, INTO which Mike was pillng jugs of
whisky
Hold on therer' they exclaimed. Now. nv
man, here is a warrant that will settle the cues
ton Of authority" 1t was passed over the bar
and was scrutinized the same as the first.
"NIike?'
"Sor"
60 on loading the team; these gentlemen
have nothing to do with US"
What do you mean, fellowf"
81 mean that this warrant authorizes you to
search the promises of my neighbor, the tailor,
but not mine"
But this Is a new warrant, my man. There
is no mistake now. This empowers us to search
No, 1872"
And who in the devil is hinderng you from
searching 49, This is 4e4"
You said this was 4s2.''
Rats! You've been drinking. Mixer
''Sor -
"Show them the number"
out the party went again, and there, sure
enough, was 4S4 in big fat numbers
There is q trick about this. That first war
rant was right after all, " said the leader
ut was, gents, and the saloon man proceeded
coolly 20 load ais liquors into the wagon The
sellers We're inclined to seize anyhow but lust
then the mail ca, rior came along and left letters
for their expected victim. The letters were ad-
dressed to 4S4. which left no room for doubt
Before they could get a third warrant all the