davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10

An old sea captain sat in the lobby of the
custom house yesterday afternoon. He was
in talkative mood, and related number
of funny experiences he had had with minis.
tiers. There was one in particular which
amused him very much as he recalled it,
"Once, when we left London" he began,
ito make trip to Baltimore, among the pas
sengers on board was a preacher. We had
hardly got out of the river before the good
man became awfully sick, and he felt sure
something was wrong with tho ship. He re-
lated his fears to me, and to allay them
took him to the fore part of the vessel, whert
a number of sailors were at work.
"'Do you hear those men swear! 1 asked
Eyes he replied. Isn't it shocking
What will become of themr
"'Well, don't know | answered, but i,
must be plain they are not worried about tn,
condition of the ship The reverend gentle
man saw the point and felt much easier
1.-The next day terrible storm arose. TIL,
vessel plunged in the trough of the waves
and the passengers were greatly frightened
II noticed the preacher going to the sam,
part of the ship, and l followed him. Sud
denly he stopped and listened attentively
Then he exclaimed: Thank heaven, they arr
still swearing need not add that the boa
didn't go down."-Baltimore News.
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10
not Worth Taking.

The August sun had gone down in baze
of golden glory. The restless katydid war
bled its pensive lay from its retreat among
the honeysuckles, tho Lake Michigan zephyr
stirred the leaves of the consumptive shade
trees, aud the giddy cockroach meandered
merrily about the premises. A young man
and young woman sat in tho arbor aud
fought mosquitoes.
"Angic," he said and his voice had the
passionate intonaton of st. Louis drum
mer trying to sell a bill of goods to IA Texas
merchant, "am too later
"You are, Mr.. Haukinson. l have prom
ised to marry MIR. Chugg.'
''Then why, Miss Millsap,' he demanded,
"did you not answer the letter l wrote to you
last month"; 1t would have saved me trip
over the North Side cable' he added bit
terly.
II did not get your letter, Mr.. Hankinson." y
"Did not get it. Ha! Then it was taken
by that letter thief, Oberkampl see it all.
If you had got that letter you might never
have accepted the chucklehead whom you
have promised to marry"
"Mr. Hankinson," said the young lady,
freezinsly, Sin that letter did you make me
an offer of your hand and hearth
II did, Miss Millsap."
"Then the letter thief never took it. There
was nothing in it worth taking, Mr.. Rankin
SON"
The lake breeze sobbed mournfully and
then stopped, the katydid let go for Il mo-
ment to take fresh hold, and nothing was
beard except the savage crunching of gravel
under tho young mau's heels as he walked
away with his hat pulled down over his eyes.
Chicago Tribune.
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10
SQUElChED.
A Story Trllcr's Lifo Spared Only ON One
Condition.

n story IfuCra SpRtNu oiuy Oh VIC
Condition.
81 know" the northern member would &C.
casionally say, that people would be slow to
believe some of the things have been tell
ing about my experiences in the war, but
they are all truc to the letter"
~ don't doubt for moment" said the
western man, who wasn't in the war And
now just let me tell you little maritime
story-true beyond doubt and not in the
least fishy, though l will confess it is so old
that it has burrs on it. A crowd of men
were sitting in saloon one night and n man
got up and commenced to relate an expert
ence of his own. It ran like this: Il was on
ship ten years ago which was wrecked in mid
ocean, Many of the passengers did not suc
coed in getting into the life boats and some
of us had to jump into the water. l
sank twice and then managed to catch
hold of piece of timber just big
enough TO support me. Recovering my
breath l congratulated myself on having
support enough to possibly keep inc atoat
until could be picked up by some passing
vessel. Suddenly felt one end of my timber
60 down, and turning my head, discovered
that another man had grabbed hold of my
lumber. In a moment or two we We're about
to sink. urged him to be careful but he
would not heed me- We drifted along for
some minutes, when made up my mind that
ono or the other of us would have to 20 down,
for with such pressure it was only n matter
of time when we would both lose our piece of
timber finally edged my way up to the
nan and choking him, made him release his
grip. He fell off, and suppose drowned, for
padded away and saw him no more 1t
was cruel thing to do but self preservation
being the first law of nature, ! looked out for
No. l. You may not believe this, but, gentle
men, it is the truth
"Then," the western congressman went on
to relate, "a big man, With bushy beard and
| fierce looking eyebrows, arose from corner
| and said: Alas for you, it was true. was
the man you pushed that awful day from the
| piece of timber. Hal ha! you thought you
| had drowned me; but live to face the man
who treated me So Kind fortune, when
arose from beneath the angry waves, sent
along another piece of timber, and, though
bruised by you, had strength enough left to
cling like an oyster 10 my timber, and in q
few hours | was rescued by passing ship.
For nearly ten long years have been hunt
ing you, sir, and you shall die. / will give
| you five minutes to prepare for death--more
than you would give me in mid ocean.
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10
Following the Line of DUTY,

Postmaster tpointing triumphantly at rat
hole)-Do you see that holei That's where so
much of the missing mail matter has gone.
The cat caught the rat little while ago and
dragged out a peck of letters, all torn and
chewed into little bits. That vindicates me
completely, 1t was the rat, sir-it was
the rat.
Citizen dubiously)-But didn't you know
mail matter was missing all the timel
Postmaster-Of course.
Citizen-Then why didn't you catch the ra
| YOURSELF
Postmaster with dignity)-rm not paid t
catch rats, sir. My business is to attend I
the postoflice Chicago TribunA
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10
The Natural Result.

PeddlerI am introducing new kind Of
hair brush which
Business Man dmpatiently)-I've no use
for hair brush Can't You see I'm balds
Peddler-Yes, sir. Your lady, perhaps
Business Man-Shes bald, too, except when
she goes out.
Peddler-Yes, sir Child at home, proba-
bly,
Business Man-Only month old. Bald
too.
Peddler-Yes, sir. You keep a pet dog
maybe
Business Man-We do; but it's hairless
dog.
fly trap, sir!-Chicago Tribune.
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10

1.-The crowd seemed disposed to interfere,
but the big man with bushy beard drew two
pistols, and called out: Stand back, every
bodyr and with the death dealing weapons
he covered the party who had narrated the
ocean experience. The latter pleaded for
mercy and eventually the big man with the
bushy beard said Il will spare your life only
on one condition.
Name it,. gasped the frightened man.
"'That you will confess to this crowd that
no such thing as you have related ever &C.
Cured, and that you have simply been tell
ing whopping lie, thinking that these peo-
pie would believe YOU
"As quick as flash the man admitted that
he had simply been romancing. He was for
given, but not until after he had treated the
house. Detroit Tribune
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10

In McLennan county over 100 vo.
tiers gratified their propensity for
scratching tickets, even when the
democratic nominees had no oppo.
nents. This was the case with the
votes for Warwick H. Jenkins fol-
county judge, and Joe w. Taylor fol
county attorney.
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10

Editor-in- Chief to subordinate)-As John
L. is about to die, you may write scathing
article, reviewing his life and congratulating
the country on his expected demise,
Subordinate-The morning dispatches an
nounce that Sullivans chances for recovery
are excellent.
Editor-in- Chief-In that case you may
write an editorial suggesting that Kilrain
may yet meet his match.-Omaha World
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10
The loss of the Waco Female Col.

The loss of the Waco Female COL
lege will entail an injury upon the
city that two decades will not over.
come. Better never to have had it at
all, than having had it surrender it to
some rival. The loss of the college
may prove the beginning Of a series of
losses.
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10
A Swell Affair.

Mrs. Veneering (complacently lolling in
carriage)-There, John, told you our new
turnout would attract great deal Of atten-
ton. Everybody seems to be looking at it.
Mr. Veneering Suddenly discovering three
urchins seated on the back springs)-Hey,
there, driverl Whip behind. New York
Sun
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10
Why She Kept 1t.

Jobson-What kind of an animal is that
you've got there, Jepson'
Jepson-A hedgehog. 1t is one of my
wifes pets.
Job.-Strange kind of a pet, should say.
Why does she keep such thing as that about
hers
Jep-Well, suppose it is because he has
SO many fine points about him. Boston
Courier.
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10

The regular democratic nominee
for the legislature in Bell county was
defeated simply and solely because
he was a Jew. Bell county has GER
tainly achieved a reputation in this
respect that none of her sister
counties will envy her. The once
proud banner democratic county o
Texas sends union labor represen
tative to the 2Ist legislature be
cause hide-bound fanatics refused
to vote for a democrat OF Hebral
descent.
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10
Economy,

First Dame-What shall we do today2 Let's
60 to the matineel
Second Dame-Can't; we haven't any
money. 1t takes money to go to the theatre.
First Dame--So it does. | did not think Of
that. Well, let's go shopping. Philadelphia
Record
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10

The Globe.Democrat called its en-
tire poultry yard into service Wednes-
day. 1t had little roosters inter-
spersed between its editorial para
graphs. 1t was its day to crow, and
the GID. crowed.
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10
Of Two Evils.

Dealer-I say, Jake, it's beginning to rain
and there goes old Neverpay across the street
with the new hat he got here last week. Take
him out an umbrella or he'll have it ruined
before he gets home
Clerk-Why, sir, he'll keep the umbrella.
Dealer-No matter-hurry up-Td rather
lose the umbrella than trust him for another
hat. Detroit Free Press
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10
Run Short,

Baker Ito foreman)-Arc the pies in yet,
Fritzl
Foreman-No, sir: I'm waiting for the
boy. He's gone around to the Rubber Belt
ing and Packing company for u few more
bottoms.-Liie.
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10

THE News knows of three preach
ers in Waco who voted for Mills and
they are all proud of it.
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10

"Why did you hit Kate Durham on the
head with an ax?' asked Justice Ford Of
Bridget Mcguire, of $50 Madison street, in the
Essex Market police court this morning.
Eyer honor, there was nothin' heavier
handy was the candid reply.
The Mcguire was held for examination
New York Evening World
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10

One among the preachers in Waco
who voted for Col. r. Q. Mills is
venerable man, bending beneath the
weight of many years, who has la
bored long and earnestly in the
Lords vineyard. His eyes were not
blinded by prejudice and hatred. and
as democrat he distinguished the
line which separates church from
state and voted straight ticket fol
the party to which he has long be-
longed.
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10

Harrison will doubtless make a
judicious distribution of the Federal
patronage in the Ninth district, but it
may not be out of order for US to call
his attention to the eminent and valu-
able services rendered the republican
party by Col E. A. Jones.
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10

H." said his wife, Ego out and stop
boys from torturing that cat The cries
Il the poor thing almost drive me crazy"
"Just shut the window, The said, without
looking up from his paper. lit isn't our cat,
New York Evening Sun.
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10

The little son of c. E. Huntsberger, of Ly-
ons, has live frog III his stomach, and all
efforts to expel it have failed Tho boy held
the frog in his hand and opened his mouth.
The frog jumped at the nvitation.-Omaha
Herald
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10

Texas has one consolation at least,
in the next apportionment she vii
move up alongside of New York in her
representation in the electoral college
and she will not be a pivotal state either
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10

The republican victory was complete
but let the triumphant legions remem'
Der that the democratic party still lives.
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10
Too Much for the Onions.

Waiter Ito customer-Fn' de steak an
onions all right, sahi
Customer obviously -Well-er-I think the
steak takes away somewhat tho flavor Of tho
onions. Texas Sftings
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10
One Way.

Boy-Say, mister, father wants to know
what's the cheapest way Of Gettin' teeth ill.,
serted.
Village Dentist-Well, reckon the cheap
est way that / know of is to come and steal
my apples when my bull dogs around. -Ex-
change.
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10

Waco will move along prospecting
and growing day by day. 1t will take
something worse than radical cy-
clone to check her progress.
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10

Has the the Waco extension OF the
Arkansas Pass railway been lost in the
general disaster. We hope not.
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10
Poor Fellow.

Smith-What has become of DR.. Curealll
Jones-The man who advertised to cure
every complaint under the sum-
S.-Yes.
J.--Oh! he died the other day from CON-
plication of diseases. Boston Courier.
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10

When the iron hand Of Federal
power, as exercised by the radicals,
begins to be felt it will be too late for
independent" democrats to cry out
for relief.
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10

The democrats, like the boy the
calf is said to have run oyer, have but
little to say but they keep up a deuce
of lot of thinking.
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10

The bishops Of two churches hold
services in Waco tomorrow.
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10

President Cleveland has not added
a codlcil to his thanksgiving procla.
nation yet.
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10

When the whiskey tax is removed
by the republicans the product of Col.
jim Anderson's vineyard will not ne
cessarily be restricted to "biled wine"
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10

Waco's streets need great deal Of
improvement.
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10

Craftsmanship and patriotism as
exemplifed in the person of Marion
Martin seem to lack proper apprecia'
ton in Texas.
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10

Tanant county has almost redeemed
herself. We congratulate you neighbor.
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10

Waco can resume her railroad build.
ing now.
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10

McLennan county is safe.
Waco evening news. (Waco, Tex.) 1888-1889, 1888-11-10

Waco Furniture Co.
Farewell
" A R N | N G
A good thing for
everybody who want to
buy furniture. We will
extend our closing out
sale ten days longer.
Now is your time to
buy furniture; you can
afford to buy at the
prices we offer, wheth-
er you need 1t or not.
Give us a call at once
as we must make room
for our new stock en-
routed, and after that
time we will have the
largest, best assorted
and most complete
stock of furniture ever
shown in Central Tex
as, at prices to suit ev-
erybody.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-07-06

SECTION 4. Be it further ordained, that shall
be the duty of every physician or other person
practicng medicine in the city of Savannah to
report to the Board Of Sanitary Commissioners
every case of small pox, yellow fever or other
infectious, contagious or pestiential disease,
which he may be called upon to treat within the
city limits; said report to- be made within
twenty four hours after he shall have ascer-
tanned the character of the case and to specify
the name of the patient and the locality of the
house in which such person is to be found and
for every violation of this provision the guilty
party shall upon conviction before the police
court be liable to fine or Imprisonment or both
in the discretion of the court; such fine not to
exceed 500 and such Imprisonment not to ex-
coed thirty days. But whenever any disease
has been declared epidemic by the Board of
Sanitary Commissioners it shall not be required
that further cases be so reported.
Sec. 5. That every citizen upon whose premises
Chere may occur any case of small pox, yellow
fever or other infectious or pestilenUial disease
not under the charge of any physician shall in
like manner, as ordained in the preceding sec
ton, report the facts TO the Board of Sanitary
Commissioners, and for failure or refusal to
make such report shall. upon conviction before
the police court, be liable to fine or imprison-
ment or both in the discretion of the court; such
fine not to exceed 500 and such Imprisonment
not to exceed thirty days. But whenever any
disease has been declared epidemic by the
Board of Sanitary Commssionersit shall not be
required that further cases shall be so reported.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-07-06
SPECIAL NOTICE.
OFFICE HEALTH OFFICER,

SAVANNAH, GA, April Both, 1888
From and after MAY LIST. 1888, the City Ordi-
nance which specifies the Quarantine require
ments to be observed at the port Of Savannah,
Georgia, for the period of time annually from
MAY 1st to NOVEMBER list, will be most
rigidly enforced.
Merchants and all other parties interested
will be supplied with printed copies of the
Quarantine Ordinance upon application to office
of the Health Officer. From and after this
date. and until further notice, all Steamships
and Sailing Vessels from South America Cen
trail America, Mexico, West Indies Sicily ports
Of Italy south of 400 north latitude and coast of
Africa between 100 north and 14o south latitude
direct or via American ports, will be subject TO
close quarantine and be required to report at
the Quarantine Station and be treated as being
from infected or suspected ports or localities
Captains of these Vessels will have to remain
al the Quarantine Station until their vessels are
relieved. All steamers and sailing vessels from
Foreign ports not included above, direct or via
American ports, whether seeking chartered or
otherwise, will be required to remain in quaran-
tine until boarded and passed up by the Quaran.
tine Officer Neither the Captains nor any one
on board such vessels, will be allowed to come
TO the city until the vessels are inspected and
passed by the Quarantine Officer.
As ports or localities not herein enumerated
are reported unhealthy TO the Sanitary Authori.
ties. Quarantine restrictions against same will
be enforced without further publication.
The Quarantine regulations requiring the
flying of the Quarantine flag on vessels subjected
to detention or inspection, Will be rigidly en-
forced w +. Drummer. NJ D.,
Health Officer.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-07-06
HOW MUCH DOES A CIGAR CosT9
Bought ct Retail it VIII Come to Cent
or Dollar, Just as You Choose.
From the NeD York Graphic.

From the NeW York Graphic.
The old definition of a cigar-"A roll of
tobacco, with fire at one end and fool at
the other"-is caustic wit which no smoker
ever appreciated, and which laid the author
open to just reprisal of the uttermost bru-
tality. To call man fool is no evidence of
the folly of anybody but the speaker, and
TO attack anybody thus savagely for indul-
gence in small vice" is as likely to drive
hlm to drink as it Is TO cure him of the to-
blcco habit.
Whether or no it be folly to soothe the
nerves and please the senses with indulgence
IN the Indian weed, the fact remains that
people do it, and no number of Trasks and
tracts viii ever be likely to materially re-
uuce The number of smokers. On the con-
uary, the habit, so the tobacconists say,
seems to be constantly on the increase, If
phe may judge by the steady growth OF the
business. There are different theories ex-
Uant as to the cause of this, but the favorite
one Is the growth of the cigarette habit This
uraWs Its votaries not only from callow
SouUn, as the alarmists would have us think,
Dut also from the ranks OF cigar aud pipe
=, cigars, however, hold their own, and are
..heiy 70, at least with the present genera
tlun, and not only that, but the costly
slaoeS Oh cigars are as much in demand as
eFeT, II not more so.
John Blakely, the Broadway tobacconist,
WIG; Mno mas from time to time taken an active
interest in politics so far as legislation
eiects the price of tobacco, talked enter
@lhingly on the subject last night. THE
."@t expe sive cigar" he said, land that Is
sne very best cigar that is brought to this
;tlarEet, costs from ~ 10 81 cents apiece and
- sod over the counter for 81. Here are
Of oS'ii bi OF them" and he pulled out handful
VI IT. pig rolls wrapped up in heavy tinfoil.
c,iney were much larger than the ordinary
Osari being ~ thick as a moderate sized
stuil,p ana about seven inches long. Being
''H0iied a perfectly made cigar was re-
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-07-06
MEDICAL.
T he Lady

l TIC E-dQ Y
Who has fine Hair, and desires to pre-
serve its color, abundance, and lustre,
should use Ayers Hair Vigor as a
dressing. 1t keeps the scalp clean and
cool, and is by far the most exquisite
toilet preparation in the market.
B. NJ. johnson, NJ. D., Thomas Hill.
Mo, says: "I have used Ayers Hair
Vigor in my family for number of
years, and regard it as the best hair
preparation l know Of. 1t keeps the
scalp clean, the hair soft and lively, and
preserves the original color. My wife
has used it for a long time with most
satisfactory results"
Mrs. S. A. Rock of Anderson, Texas,
writes AT the age of "a, in Monroe,
La, 1 had a severe attack of swamp, or
malarial, fever. After l got well my
hair commenced coming out, and so con-
tinued until it had well nigh all gone.
/ used several kinds of hair restorers,
but they did no good. A friend gave me
a bottle Of Ayers Hair Vigor Before
finishing the first bottle my hair began
to grow, and by the time l used three
bottles, had fine head of hair"
Ayers Hair vigor,
PREPARED BY
Or. J. G. Aver & Co., Lowell, Mass.
Sold by Druggists and Perfumers.