The Colfax chronicle., 1888-12-01
PuNoENT PARAoRAPHs.

used In this country dnnuaiiy'
undertakers, doctors and officers OF In
sane asylums have great reason to %
thankful.-Boston Traueler.
AS result OF advertising furniture
on the installment plan, a Boston furni-
ture dealer was rather surprised the
other day when woman came In and
asked for ssMr. Installment," and did
not want to talk to any one else.
Hostess neutrality-suspicious.
do you prefer, Mr.. de Lean, new pota-i
! toes or old?" Mr.. de Lean-s'1t doesn Z
matter about the potatoes. madam; but
| IL you have two kinds of chicken. l will
take the new. ."-Philadelphsa Record.
Not long since we heard young
lady complain that her "beau did talk
SO slow" that she most always forgot
the first of a sentence before he got
through, and didn't know whether to
answer yes or no.
"A correspondent writing from Sam
Francisco says that ladies OF that
city wear sealskin cloaks the year
round, and that the sight of heavy
fur wraps and overcoats at times dur
ing the summer Is not at all uncom-
mon
Child Cat theatre during grand
ballet attraction) -s'Where do all the
pretty ladies come from. Mammap"
Mamma -'.From behind that big cur
tain at the back; there are many rooms
there" 20, yes; the undressing
rooms. Philadelphia Record.
An indignant parent, in rebuking a
refractory son, exclaimed "Remem-
Der who you are talking to, sir! I'm
your fatherr' To which the youth re-
Joined: 20, come now. hope you amt
going to blame me for that. Troy
Times.
Woman Ito tramp)-1f L give you
o nice dinner will you help me put up
some patent self-rolling window cur
tainsp Tramp-No, ma'am. I'll saw
wood, carry in coal, or dig postholes.
but l wouldn't help a woman on win
dow curtains if she gave me DelmoE-
leo spread.-N Y. Sun.
Mr. Warner Hurt dropped in at the.
post-office in Cumming, Ga, the other
day, and bought ten cents worth OF
postage stamps. He told the post
master that it was the first purchase of
the sort he had ever made. and that in
all his life-he is over seventy-six now
-he had never written or received q
letter.
Ibid you bake these biscuitsP" he
asked at the supper table. s'Yes.
George; l made them expressly for
you." she winningly replied. "And
yet" said George, vainly trying to
pry open biscuit, ''you have always
told me you loved me. and couldn't
live without -Norristown Herald.
-"And what answer do you make
tony appealp" he asked, as he knelt
ut her feet. "James, will be frank
with you. SIC emurmured. 20. speak,"
he implored, s'and relieve me of this
agony of suspense "Then let me
say it can not be-" "Why not?" s.Be-
cause, James, do not feel able to sup
port a husband. ."-Boston Courier.
-Author-"You say the story has
merit. Then why do you hesitate
about taking itP'' Book publisher
why, you see, sir. you have not an
reputation. You are not
widely known yet. The announcement
of story by you would not OF itself be
sufficient to make spontaneous de-
nand for It," Author-"Ive fixed all
hat. / have friend that is a book
reviewer, and as soon as my story ap-
pears he is to brand it at once as a
plagiarism from one of Zola's earlier
works. ."-C Chicago Tribune.
Had to Give 1t Up-Long-haired~
Passenger Ito strangely my friend,
ire you a commercial travelerP"
sir, and I'm making
OTIS of money" Long-haired Passenger
-"Ah, my young friend, there is some-
hing to live for in this world beside
mere money, which moth and rust cor
upt and which thieves break through
md steal. was commercial man N.Y.
elf once" Stranger-"Didn't you
ike the businessF Long-haired Pas
enger-'Yes, but there wasn't any
money in it."-Epoch.