The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1888-04-26
PERsONs I'D THINGs.


-Teacher-Tommy, about how large should
you say the moon was
Tommy-'Bout the size Of the punkin that pa
took first prize at last State fair Burlington
Free Press.
- Mamma" said FIossie, who was admiring
herseifin the glass, 81 did God make meI'
Yes, dear replied mamma.
Well" was FIOssie's dictum after pause, ne
needn't be ashamed Of it."-Lie.
Gen. Booth, Of the Salvation Army, has an eye
for the main chance. He charged $ apiece for the
privilege OF seeing his daughter married, and there
enough fools TO realize for this practical parent
a handsome sum. Salvation pays IN the Booth
army.
The " "boutonuiere" is the buiton-hoIe bouquet
no longer. The latest wrinkle with lovely man IS
10 this floral decoration i'm the breast pocket
of his coat tine bit Of colored handkerchief having
for the time being, surrendered to the demands Of
fashion.
- CeroninO's band is rapidly becoming coIIec
tiou OF Apache dudes. Under Maj SinClairs charge
in the ut. Vernon barracks, about 2l0 Of them now
wash their faces certainly once week, and the
squaws wear their toilets with launliuess that
bespcaks, IN the near future busties. Surely the
United states Government could not expect more
OF them than thatl
- Madame BagelOt, Directress Of the Society in
Aid Of Liberated Prisoners, ia Paris, Is now IN
Philadelphia. Her object in visiting this country
is TO inspect the prisons and examine into the con
dition OF the women confined in them.
1t Is now the women's turn to take 70 the
chOker collar. Those worn by the most fashion
able women are now quite as high as the highest
worn last Summer by men.
- Cat-eyes continue as popular as Summer Jew
els with ladies as ever.
- The young folks OF Tacna, Ariz., do not intend
being behind the Northeruers in tobOggaulng 8
They go sand tOboggauiug-tu Il, sliding down
a sand hill, and they manage to have as much
sport without the discOmfOTts of a snowy country,
San Francisco Call.
- ing Dong, Chinamau under arrest IN the
county Jail at Red Bluff, Cal, a charge Of mur-
der, decided that he wouldn't wait for the moose
He first attempted to kill himself by crawling into
a red-hOt stove. He got his head arms and Chesl
IN, and was then pulled out. His wounds were
dressed and five morphine powders left TO be taken
hourly lie took Jaem ali At once, and after being
IN deep stupOr came out all right Then he broke
china cup aud cut his throat with the sharp edge
the surgeon sewed up the wound, but the China
man tore of the baudage and reopeaed the wound
and bled TO death before morning.
The late Benjamin Harris Brewster was quick
the celebrated Judge ShsrswOod, he made state
meut of the law ~ point III question. The Judge
Interrupted him with, ." Dir. Brewster, you know
very well that that is not the law" " 1t was ths
law, the answer like a flash Of lightning
" before your Honor spOke!"
Who does not cast dull care away, business
and what not, when he goes fishing A lazy maI
viii work harder to catch a red-eye' when hi
goes fishing than hc will for new silver dollar
| and truthful man Will come nearer lying abUu
/ the size Of that red-eye and the number caugh
| than he VIII about any other known thing.-VaL
/ dosic GA Times
ON Sunday evening the large congregation a
| the Methodist Church I'm CobieskilI rushed out q
an alarm OF FIRE Just a5 the pastor closed his sermon
| by repeating with emphasis his text, So run, tina
ye may obtain. .'-AbGny Journal
Husband lin the early morning)-What ar
! you going through my pockets for, my dear?
Wie-A little change John.
/ Husbaud-Haye you no money Of your Own7
Wjle-Tes; but It is so much easier % find
| mans pocket John, than woman's.- HqrPsT'
Bdzur.