Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1888-10-24
TOO BIG \ HURRY.
Advice to City PeopIe---The Craze for
Rapid Transit.

Rapid transit So that is what you
wantr Well, you don't want anything
of the kind, taking want to mean need,
as properly 1t does. What you mean to
say is that you desire rapid transit,
Very well; you are a very foolish per
son; that's all, You desire rapid tran
sit as children desire things not good
for them. Why do you pine for rapid
transit? What are YOU IN a harry about I!
To get to business? Then start ten
minutes earlier and take your time;
you Will do your work better ana more
easily If you take it up with unshaken
nerves. To get home? Home will be
there" at 5.3J Z. NJ. just as surely as
at 5.25; ''the kids"-children, if you
are too proper a person to accept [ e
classic slang-and their mother had
rather see you come home IN a placid
than a ruflled state OF mind. What
are you IN hurry about, anyhow?
For every beating pulse we tell
Leaves but the number less.
So sung very pious and truthful
versifier of the last century. Why do
you desire to double the number OF
pulse beats by the uncomfortable eX-
element of "rapid transit?'' "The
numberless" is accomplished rapidly
enough by the slowest process. "SOon
shalt thou forget all things; soon 10y all
things shalt thou be forgotten, =" said
Marcus Aurelius some ? 900 years ago.
Why do you desire to quicken the trot
of the procession toward the inevitable
chasm OF oblivion?
What you need-no matter what you
desire-ls comfortable transit. Transit
that jars no nerve by rumbling cable
sa1f Il.
pavement, direful grOan of laboring en-
gine, more direful shrek of steam
whistle or most direful iangle of brass
bells out of tune, You don't want to
be packed in a surface travelling car OF
any sort; you don't want your nerves to
culver with apprehension for the fate
of the reckless newsbOy-toO often
newschild-who exposes himself to
more danger while ''hopping cars" for
an hour than many a battle field dis.
closed in day. And you don't want to
be hOisted into an enlarged edition of
cash and parcels basket, and whirled
by steam or electricity at an elevation
too high for safety, too low for comfort.
High enough to insure disaster in case
OF accident, low enough to catch the
smoke of household chimneys, and the
odors OF household cooking. Still less
DO you want TO be shot through the
bowels of the earth 10y atmospheric or
other force, As has been said, you
will explore the subterTanean regions
soon enough. jam te premet nOX,
fabu'B lue Names, said Horace. They
were too wise to banker after under
ground railways in his day.
But the more comfortable transit,
how are you going TO get thatI Z J5ily,
If you have d talented pair OF legs.
otherwise, with difficulty or not at all.
And even the most gifted legs Will suf-
fer disquIet at I bridges ami crossings
of the most crowded streets. Comfort
able transit is as yet afar off from you.
Your grandfather had il; your uncle
who lives in the country has 1t. But
your grandfather was never in hurry.
and your uncle never is, TheTeC5-e
your grandfather's nerves were AMI
your uncle's are as OF steel. The fierce
Jolt and hideOus rumble of the thimble
Skein farm wagon are and were to them
luxurious and musical. You have
hurried your nerves into jumble Of
sensitive mucus. For you comfort
means quiet. 1t will be sO-"Only more
so"-wIth your unfortunate children.
Science and humanity will provide
for them; they can hardly be expected
to help you, who are the original sinful
hurrier. The coming man may cease
from being in hurry. or humanity
may decree that every other street be
reserved for passenger traffic and foot
travel only; or some large and strong
birds, graceful as the swans Of
Lola, may be discovered, upon whose
backs, or drawn 10y whom IN aerial cars,
the tired and nervous may be borne
quietly, and quickly, too, to and from
business; or balloons may convey people
at salubrious heights through the calm
OF air. or chlorOform may be admins
tered to each street car passenger by
the conductor In such quantities as to
render him or her oblIvIOus to the peTiIs
and discomfOrts OF travel. This latter
experiment might well be essayed un-
der the existing condition of street
transit which is neither comfortable nor
rapid,