Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-04-28
4 MARRIAGE IN THE DARK.
&c. H. Palmer in the Arrosy for April

&c. II. Palmer IN the Arrosy for APRIL
At ten years OF age l. Constance Urquhart. was
stTfcken with blindness. As well as I can rerneu-
Der this did not happen suddenly: slight mist
seemed az first 70 veil my eyes, the outlines OF
objects became blurred and indistinct colors lost
their vividness and blended confusedly with each
other and was startled al times by flashes OF
almost intolerable brightness Gradually the mist
deepsnsd into the blackness Of night
was oyopng TO realize fully the extent OF the
calamity which had befallen me- MY mother dis
Liked talking about II, aud always endeavored TO
evade my questions Only now and then could
hear her weeping quietly To herself. AT first was
terribly frightened thought In my childish mind
that the sun had departed forever and that eternal
darkness enveloped mankind. Gradually the truth
dawned upon me. ], only, and a few other upfor-
Inmates, II would seem, were TO be excluded from
the light OF day. Others could see; for them the
sun and stars continued 70 shine: for them the
leaves grew green In summer and brown and god
In autumn, and still the world was fair From me-
alas even the familiar face OF my dearly-loved
mother was hidden, and she became a voice and
presence, heard and felt indeed but unseen. i
was alone In the DARK.
In imagination l saw stretched out before me
the long, melancholy vista of my life. Life under
ban; set apart and indescribably solitary; to be
lived through somehow amid deep gloom until II
merged at last into the profounder shadow Of
DEATH Many a time have thought IL would be
better TO die az once and be done with it; many a
time have reoelled Indignantly against my fate
and shed bitter tears oNerit, so unmerited CID II
seem 10 me-sO unjust.
And then slowly, almost imperceptibly, new
world began TO open out for me. mysterious
world full OF surprises and revelations, OF incred
iole things A strange world, in which every vari-
alton OF texture. every infection OF sound, carried
Win II new and pEegnaht meanings, where tooen
OF knowledge, and over which music ruled with
indisputable sway, the sole source OF consolation
The SPECIALISTS who had been consulted about
my case held out little prospect Of ultimate recOy
cry, but hope never entirely died within Inc. Now
and then faint glimmers passed across my eyes
Ike the first 1irtatiOns OF light at earliest dawn
but these departed as they came ana lett me In
with them a thrill of wild delight and longing
anu were followed by the reaction OF profound de-
spair.
As year after year passed away and brought no
change In my condition, l grew, by degrees, re-
sgaed and even, in a half-hearted way, eontented
Occasionally had relapse. remember on my
twenty first birthday sat before my useless look
fng-glass twisting and untwisting the long coils
my life, what was like. IL may seem strange
that had never specslated upon this before, but
sc was lot really 80. GOOD looks ard bad looks
had In fact no signifieanc for me- The voice only
was OF importance; by that judged character
and formed my hkings and antipathieS.
But on this particular day Ielt an overwhelm-
Ing desire 10 know in what gulSe 1 presented N.Y.
sell TO the outer world was Iami Il with the
touch Ny nose seemed straight, my mouth
small, my hair soft and abundant. But these
things conveyed little tangible impression TO my
mind. lOnged desperately TO See my self, II only
Tor an instant 10 int for a brief second the ever
lasting veil OF night which hung over me. Plac-
ing my elbows on the table, ] strained my eyes at
the glass / exerted all the force or my Will Was
successful7 My nerves throootd, and across my
brighter, brighter than had ever seen 1t before,
and then faded slowly away into blackness
down on the table and nOOded those useless sight
less Oros OF mine with tears
Ny mother came In and lound me weeping.
for was Lot often taken so, land on your birth
Gay, tool Mydear child, what l. the natter"
She sat down beside me and put her arms round
me in her motheriy, comforting way.
1T Is only that am foolish, mother, and can't
resign myself TO the Inevitable. You will laugh
when I ten you that i actually tried TO see my
sslf-yss. TO see myself IL the glass. Presumption,
wasn't 1t? And cried because couldn't"
"PoOr child! Poor COMFY said my mother kiss
Ing me. 1t Is very, very sad for you, but thought
you had got used 20 IT. DEAR after all these years.
mother But never mind that now want 10
hear what / am like. Am beautiful, pretty,
simply passaole, or downrlght ugly? You never
VIII tel me, but I'm Jwenty-one to-day, and
think It's quite time knew"
My child, TO me you Will always be beautiful"
do you know, mother, that Is a most unsatls-
factory answer. IL sounds very pretty, but IL tells
"iou VIII md out all about 1t some day, nv
dear
Il believe I'm as ugly as a witch. and that you
are keeping IT from me 10 spare my feelings
Il don't think any one could call you ugly,
COMFY she said.
this dubious information was obliged 10 be con-
tented. From that time forward / took IL for
granted that was very plain young woman,
end began to think 1t was just well could not
SEE my image IN The glass. Perhaps this was the
very impression which my mother, VINO was a
wise woman IN her way, wished TO convey to me.
Plain or pretty, however, it mattered very little;
marriage for me- was out OF the question, had
been as Ialr as Cleopatra. What man but would
A namely in
her head 10 the most beautiful blind woman In the
world?
Information, was compelled perforce TO remain
In Ignorance upon the interesting question OF my
l could consGit on the subject. The dull It'll.
country town In which we lived did not afford
much material In the Way OF society, and perhaps
we had neglected 10 make full use OF our oppor-
tuntles. My father, medical man, had been dead
many years, and lay buried In a crowded London
cemetery: while the two hundred year which we
inherited on his DEATH though IL sufficed 10 keep
Us In decent comfort, was TAR rom enabling US TO
Ilake nyure even In our owns Insignificant pro-
With the exception OF the curate who called
1rreg0lariy 10 look after our spiritual efare our
Only VISITOR was DR.. Browne, o veteran medical
practitioner. and an Old friend OF my Iatner's He
Was the one link which connected US with the
outside world, and upon hun we depended en-
tlrely for our knowledge Of Its dongs. BY and by
even this INK was severed; the good old doctor
d!ed, and cur isolation became complete His
practice. after being advertised for three months
In the Lancet. was sold 10 DR.. SAXON whose ar
rival caused more excitement in our little proyfp-
cial city than the advent Of an eastern prince
would have made IN London
We had not expected that DR.. saxon would
Call upon Us unless professionally; we knew our
reputation for excluslyeness and unsociabil-
ry. Nevertheless cal he did, more than once
aud seemed 10 derive considerable satisfaction
from his visits.
As soc representative OF society he certainly
eNceled DIR. Browne He was younger, better
read, knew more Of the world and could express
himself always clearly and sometimes even bril-
Eantly. HIS visits became 70 me a source OF keen
pleasure. liked the tones Of his deep voice the
Urn "Trip or bis hand, the sOund or his quick alert
tread On his side LIE was good enough to express
admiration for my musical talents: an admiration
perhaps not altogether undeseryec for music was
ny one passion The immense amount OF time
and enthusiasm which / had devoted to piano
practice would nave Oeen sadly wasted mad I not
become tolerabie mistress Of the key board.
In a lesser degree DR.. Saxon shared my musical
rarturesl he was himself a respectable violin
payer. and one result OF our numerous duets was
that We became fast friends.
nrsI uiendship Is generally q significant cpl
sOde In ones existence, but TO me IL something
FAR more. IL was both an awakening and reye-
l4tlOn- All the pent-up sympathies OF years
rushed along this new outlet, Life became Changed
thing full Of fresh hopes and wider possibilities
and containing, as IL did, eompensations even for
Inc without being consciously In love with DR.
saxon, Jet felt that he was becoming indispen.
saoe 10 my existence
Twas sJsni1ng, one evening in early autumn. by
Little lawn. i knew by the tiIne and by a certain
indennlte sensation which it always produces in
LIE, that the sun was near Its setting, and hap
pcucd 70 De seized with one OF the vain r1ts OF