Workmen's advocate. (New Haven, Conn.) 1883-1891, 1888-01-21
YALES PROFESSOR
KNOCKS OUT SOME CRUDE
AND FUTILE NOTIONS.
Labor Does Not Create Wealth
Every Lawyer Knows 1t Never
Has" -- Mining Coal Not
Labor, but an Act of
Appropriation.

The Professor could not rest un-
der the continued mental strain
caused by the repetition of such SEN
tences rs 1.-THE land belongs to the
people," and "Labor creates all
wealth." AS long as these senti-
ments were only voiced by the poor
devils they made but little impress
sion upon the Professors skull-cov-
cred brain, but when the same ideas
came, er cathedra, floating upon the
wintry atmosphere, it was too much
for the erudite pedagogue.
But what could he do to prevent
these ideas taking root? Nothing !.
They went forth, and by the subtle
force of natural affinity added SO
much to the growing collection of
brain atoms in the heads of recep-
tive people. That's what the Pro-
fessor thought, and when the Pro-
fessor gets to thinking he follows it
up with exercise of vocal organs or
Yields jerky pen.
1t is we'll known to science that a
pail that will hold beans will also
hold potatoes. This has been in
controvertibly proved, and even the
Professor could not get around it.
In fact he accepted it as fact, and
fact is his forte. So he made the de-
duction A mans brains, in order
to receive all impression must be re-
ceptive, and as science has decreed
with with regard to the pail and the
beans and potatoes, so science holds
that the brains which can compre-
hend the silly saying that labor Gre
ates all wealth will also receive the
fundamental truth that labor does
not create wealth.
All this was mental on the part OF
the Professor. The strain was enor-
nous, but when it is considered he
is paid to educate the sons of those
who have wealth, though they
didn't make it themselves, it was a
matter of duty with the Professor to
crush the absurd idea that labor
created it. And the same with land
monopoly. He must settle that
question, too, for the fathers of his
pupils in many cases We're owners OF
land.
Well, the Professor decided to
write out his ideas and send the
manuscript to the most receptive e
paper he could think of-the lade-
pendent.
You see, the Professor closely
sticks to science. A paper that can
receive and convey the laundering
sermons written by the clergymen,
and set of readers who can swal-
low those sermons whole, certainly
could receive the Professors little
piece of pure science.
The Professor never once lost
sight of the pail and the beans and
potatoes.
But he is nevertheless cute enough
to know that there is some slight
d # renee between brains and pals.
The brain must be in a receptive
condition. That's fact. No
doubt the Professor could tell why
it is a fact, but he don't.
To put The brain in receptive
condition it must be treated to a
dose of easily assimilated matter
If the Professor could only accom-
modate his stomach in the same
way he would never be affected with
dyspepsia. He decided that simple
truth would be the proper thing to
start with, but he also decided that
it must be clothed in language of Il
cathedral nature. So he started out
with:
"Alone in a forest a man would not be
subjected to the discipline necessary in
the city"
IL he had told the same thing to a
newsboy on the street corner he
would undoubtedly have been greet