Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1888-01-13
SHORT STOPS.
While all creation bores for gas,
The fuel to increase.
Boston, content with Sullivan,
Relies oa elbow grease.

Inc Iuol 10 increase
Boston, content with Sullivan,
Relies oa elbow grease.
Texas siftlnss
McKenzie-"What delightful
thing it would be if some one would
invent a new figure for the german
Miss Lakcr (from Cincinnati)-
wouldn't ii? They're so awfully
stout, as race"
Old man calling down'the stairs
to daughter-"ClaraW Daughter
ayes, papa" Old man-"Ask that
young man in the parlor which he
perfers for breakfast, milk rolls or
Vienna bread"
A concise reason: Inqu iring
farmer-"What Use like to know, yO,
onery chile, is how yo's able ter
smoak cigahs when yo' ole fadder kin
only smoak his pipe?" Forward son
-"Pse amt got no children to sup
port"
Friond-Don't go on SO. All the
crying you can do wont bring your
husband back to life. Widow (for
the fifth time)-I know II, but l
can't help crying. That's theway
am. The least little thing upsets me.
Boo-hoo
New boarder (who has got into the
wrong room)-"Thish ish very ex-
tr,or-r-rd'nary for if this ish my
room an that ish my bed an there
am in my bed, then who the devil ish
caryin' 'roun' thish lamp, l want
er knOwW
What do you call 1t when man
feeds his pig four days after the pig
has escaped from his sty, without
discovering the porker's absence 1t
is laid to Piscataquis county Post
master. 1t is Observation-Disclosures or
abse nt-pigedness?
An exemplary young man: Miss
Gotham-Have you visited any OF
the art galleries since you have been
In town, Mr.. Wabash? Mr. Wabash
(of Chicago)-Two or three only.
For the last year, Miss Gotham, I've
been drinking very little.
"Yes," said the Chicago man,
"literature's on the grand boom out
our way. We've just caught Onto
I Tf1liHgp p Stockton. and we've got
school, enjoys the Sat4Gass!ie aat4GHls!ies dis.
with the older children, but dread
the Saturday nights scrubbing h
regularly receives, one day remarked
"Well, would love Saturday il
just hadn't any night to itw
You don't quite seem to like tn
picture" the artist said, meekly; .
wasn't quite satisfied with it myself
A little lacking in distance, isu't it !?
"Ya-as," growled the critic: Il gues
that's what's the matter. Bout fv,
miles would help IL heap"
A unique contribution Mr. Cow
puncher (has just returned from
long sojourn in the West, and geti
roped into church on collection Sun.
day)-"Don't look so blamed sur
prised, deacon That's a poker chip
'an is good for a $40 sinner il yer'l
mail it ter wicked Mike Hogan in
Leadville."
Equal to the occasion: Faithful
servant-Please, mum, some o. the
boarders is talkin' about the butter
Boarding house keeper-Impossible
The-the butter has fiue flavor.
"They say it's too good, mum, and
they're afraid It's oleo." 90! Well,
before putting it on the table stretch 1
few hairs through it,
I
One of our prominent physicians
was immensely pleased the other day
lie has card hanging in his office
reading, Consultations from to 2,
and millionaire patient handed hin
dollar aud half and got out befor,
the doctor noticed that some vandal
had placed the sign of s before the
| figures.
In looking over yesterday morn
ing's paper we observe that good
many 'J's' appear where they should
be "i's." This may lead to an erron-
eous impression that the poet Bjorn-
sen has been contributing to this pa
per-. Such is not the case. In our
new dress these letters have become
a little mixed. We'll be all right in
day or two.
Once when l heard our little 5-year-
old speak rather too decidedly to
her nurse, asked her if she didn't
know that when one got angry it
was like murder in the heart, and
told her God had said: "Thou shalt
not kill" She replied: "Oh, ]
wasn't angry enough to kill her, but
only to throw her in the garbage
barrel"