Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-01-14
PARKER O'BRADY'S IDIOT
SYNCRASY."
BY q. l. FURNISS.


ways Five times this morning did make her bed
and her standing over me, though there's never
soul to see it but herself
s-Oh. VOC greenhOrn you" says Nora "Barring
everything else, you don't suppose Murray Hi
folks are going TO have a girl about them with a
burr on the end OF her tongue like you, who says
,.sa for fsh rluIk for milk for miss and the
nkef No indeed! You get rid OF your County
Derry brogue and then well see
Faith amt ye from County Derry yourself-'
seysI.
-Maybe am returns Nora ve-y scornful; ''bui
I'm not fresh from the ship, spluttering like a
heathen and dressed in a ready-made Queenstown
gown shaped Ike a black bolster with ruffes, am
IT,
Deed and your are not" says l.
Maybe you a look IN my eye like I'd just
seen a nre-engine tearin' by" continues Nora,
with awful sarcasm. MAYBE you think my
mouth Is hanging open wide enough 10 swallow
a cart-hOrse, and my hair Is combed into lump?'
.-sure I'm not thinking anything OF the Kind"
says IA tears you're quite the lady, and have
got nd OF your County Derry ways so complete
that I'D never know you for my warm-hearted
cousin Nora at all with your Jokes at me and my
Clothes and I'll not stay TO disgrace ye-'
"Ah you little Omadun!r says she, pushing me
back in my chair. I'm telling you this for your
good aud II some one had done the same by me
when landed It Wouldn't have taken me five
years-nO, nor two-to get where I am now"
"And where are ye now?" saysL
II am a rrst-class waitress, naming my own
terms says She proudly; land the women don't
I've that dares 20 try on any oOssing ways with
Il should think not" says ], admiring. And
how drd We do IT,"
.well the nrst thing, OF course is TO learn your
business thoroughly" saws she '.And that s easy
enough over here, for there's lot or women VINO
pelieyes In training greenhOrns in their ways In
<aaA Of Vi mr. HVDprfpncR0
help SO all you have 20 do is TO swallow your
pride put up with their fOollshness till you've
nd 20 where you can get n IRE money!
"slre that seems mean, after all their trouble
"Nonsensei : SAYS Nora, sharply. ''They ought
70 expect Y; we all COLT What Kind OF woman
al guess she's one Of that same kind" saws i,
"for SHE'S more ways than a monkey, and is de-
stroyin me with her notions"
That's good And what does she call you?"
ssWhy Biddy, OF course"
s.Oh sBiddy, OF course Is it:- SAYS Nora. "That
sounds low; but 1 meant when she's telling her
company about your trying tricks-what does she
ssne says the new girl saysI. Surprised
',But how did you know she talked me over with
EN-"
''Oh, that kind Of woman always entertains COM
pany that way" replied Nora. scornfully. "And
does sns let you a. IT. down before ne ssv s.,,r
lady she VI I'D not allow any such familiarity"
you WOULDN'T want 'em To- Intimacy between
mistress and maid Is undignired, and leads TO
nsye4 meant dd iI BY disobeyinr orders or u con,
tradicting. and yet" she said meditatively, Its
very few ladies that make me do anything don't
"wen, then, how do you do it'" says, fairly
by management" she says 'You see. Bird
basement stairs. Cook vowed she wouldn't do
them. and was bound wouldn't, because it was
Ualn NIx-,..N
with cook, and ordered me 10 do 'em; so never
said word but thought, you won't ask me 10 do
'eun again my lady-and she didn't"
..And what did We do" says I-"leave all the
dirt In the corners and smash 6anister?"
81 did better than that" said Nora 81 took ex-
actly two hours 70 'em, though had 10 take up
the carpet and beeswax the rails 10 NIL In the time
And II happened, Bridget she added. with a
wink-'Tt happened that Mrs. Wyndam had a
lunch party that dag which she was very partic-
uar about: but, OF course, being busy over the
stairs hadn't time to set IL out In my usual STYLE
nor could be expected TO remember all she'd told
me; likewise waited at table with a sort OF far
AWAY air. broke q dish before the company, and
vas aggrayating 10 that extent, In a quiet, re-
shaken me with pleasure, being one OF your large,
imperative women by nature. Well, the next day
wnen she'd finished ner directions she says, look
ing away from me- Nora I've spoken 10 the laun-
6ess. and she viii take charge OF the basement
"Lory" said /, "didn't you want to laugh In her
facet"
Il did So says Nora; ''but kept on my usual
migss as Se really S1 has III
opuld do 70 attend % her own pantries and silver
And that's what mean" she added, ''by saying a
gid need never do anything she don't want TO; let
her keep her temper, and prove by some such prac-
teal lesson "a that how impossible IL is for her
do Il, and the mistress won't be long in taking the
sure, I'd IKE to take my mistress in hand"
w ait TIL you know your trade; for living out is
a regular profession 10 be studied" says Nora.
And never forget 10 be perfectly respectful In
the midst Of an your aggrayations, for that Just
And have not forgotten. Ask any Of the ladies'
who have given me very fne recommendations who
was the best-trained servant they ever had, and
they'll tell you Parker O'Brady. ASK em who was
on the whole, the most aggravating, they'll tell
you Parker O'Brsdy. Ask EN- why they kept me-
they'll say because knew my duties so thoroughly
that either as cook or waitress l was as good as a
man And think may say was quite as good
as any man, through natural talent and careful
You will perceive dropped the name of Bridget
with my brogue and brogans, when l left OF being
ker as an English-sOunding title, suggestive Of
anStocracy, wealth. and style. Who could fancy
breathing hard and leaning on the guests, shouI,
ders TO reach the dishes2 and who could imagine
Bridget doing anything else7 have never ceased
congrstulatlng myself on repairing the injury my
parents unthinkingly did me, poor souls!
You Will doubtless remark q certain elevation
ana nneney ~ my Language, which is partly due TO
OF Lakeside" novels after hours-the latter feel
having done the most toward refining my crudi-
ties, and given me gimpses into q higher sphere OF
lie and It's requirements, as Mrs. c. o. d. Butter
worth observes In the Itrin Brides or Fute's Tou
but oigress You want my views on the mis-
tresses as class and you shall have them.
Every thoughtful girl OF my profession selects
some special variety OF this large and unruly Dor
ton OF society as being easy for her TO manage
SCfne take men widows, some tinid old ladies' while
others again, prefer merry model housekeepers who
snow night, whom IL Is a credit 10 any girl TO sub
due i prefer brides myself, as their ignorance
and inexperience render them more traetable and
easy 70 get the best OF.
speak nom experience having lived with every
KIND OF them-Vassar brides society brides artistic
crtdes-of every grade down 10 the domestic brides
VINO waste AL their time and all their poor young
HUSBANDS money IN getting up economical dishes
which no one can eat and dressing I'D barrels with
enough lace and ribbon 10 buy a decent piece OF
on these INHERENT types, run their houses for them
Ieft when got tired OF their nonsense and never
met my match until Ms. Wetnore engaged me
for COOK and chambermaid two weeks after she
Ioturned rom her tour and settled herself In an
expensive apartme Mt on Filth Avenue. IL seemed
SUCH strange combination % duties that hesi-
tated until she explained that II wa. her own idea
naming al the same time very high WAGES: also
That the washing was TO be put out and there was
10 De butler Then ! accepted at once having a
pAftaIty ior buffers being interfering than
ienalc-, ana pa-asanter company evenings
As 10 Ter lea saw through that at once: it
was economy, though she said IL was simply s.an
anansenent 70 cOndense her household 10 the
limits OF her fat" or apartment as she called n.
sery nne speech. but | was not imposed on. i've
nearu economy called by inner names than that
DQl As my wages were all right pretended 10 be
dupet as 10 were.
Ware the eheapness cane In could not see.