Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-07-07
BILL NYs ON posrMAsrsas.
He Used to BE One Himself, and I
kuowa the Rooex.

He Used to BE One Himself. and He
Knows the Ropes.
The New York postoffice is a large, digni-
ned building, situated right where the roads
fork, being the place where you turn off to
the right from the main Travelled road in or
der to get to the bridge IL is used partly for
q postotice and partly for a court house, SD
that one end of the building practically pays
the expenses Of the other end A self sup
porting postoffice and court house here,
where competition is hot and rents high,
would naturally show that times are good
and money plenty.
Mail comes here from all foreign countries
and Europe also. 1t Is distributed at once,
and one Is permitted to mail a letter at any
time, day or night It's wonderful In tall
buildings now there Is an arrangement by
which one may shoot his letters into a run
way or fume, and they will be carried into
United States mail box on the ground floor,
where trustworthy young man in speckled
straw helmet comes and fills his valise with
them, after which he carries them away to
the postotiice and personally uses his infiu
ence with the postmaster to have them sent
away by the early train
stood near the small box at the bottom of
the chute in the Standard Oil building the
other day, and though remained there only
ten or fifteen minutes | counted forty-nine
letters as they were laid, one by one, hot
from the cackling typewriters above, and all
no doubt reeking with the bloody and start
ling statement, coming like peel Of thunder
from an unpeeled sky. "Dear Sir-Your
esteemed favor Of the --th inst. Tor ult. or
prox.) is before me- In reply would say
etc. There's lust about as much use in this
opening as there would be in stating that
I'VE take our pen In hand" or in opening a
prayer by reading the minutes of the previ-
Gus meeting.
The New York Npostoffice Is directly con-
nected with the dead letter office at Wash
ington, and those who have never CORE
sponded with tnat prosperous morgue have
missed good deal
The dead letter Office Is, after all, great
boon, though it does not return some things
which reach it. A man In Saginaw, Mich,
mailed a pair Of dress shields by mistake
which he had bought for his wife, and
though that was two years ago come July
they have never been returned Another
man in Nashville, Tenn. enormously mailed
porous plaster which was almost as good as
new, and though he has threatened to go
down there to Washington and identify it
and expose the whole system Of the dead let,
ter Office till he got his property back, moth
ing as yet has been done about it.
Ten years ago, even, there were 10000
letters sent to the dead letter office in cne
year, Of which 81, 900 had no county on state,
4OO, 900 lacked stamps, and 5000 were posted
without any address at all. Ninety-two
thousand dollars in cash and over s., ,0OO, 900
in drafts were contained in these letters It
appears that right straight through every
letter sent TO the dead letter Office contains
on an average 81, so mine really fell below
the average.
Queer things happen to letters even when
they do not get to Washington. A Wyo
ming postmaster used to claim that circular
letters. unsealed, if not called for within
day or two, were good things to use in start
ing the fire He therefore kept a coal hod
near the general delivery, which constituted
little private dead letter office for his own
special use One day his children were play
ing tag with each other inside the postoffice
and canceling each others nose with the II.
o. B. stamp, when suddenly they decided to
investigate the coal hod in search of adver-
tising cards In each of two large circular
envelopes they found a smaller sealed letter
which had worked in by showing a large
mass Of letters together for cancellation
The children had torn these two letters open
and were playing Fourth of July and Rally
Round the Flag, Boys, with s79 check and
q 500 draft when the old gentleman looked
up Justice compels me TO say, however,
that he spanked the children soundly for his
carelessness and refused to let them have fun
with his dead letter Office after that
BILL NYE
p. S.-Since the above was written white
woman's scalp has been received at the dead
letter office The lady. in an absent minded
way, forgot to mail herself, and according to
the rules of the Office she cannot now recover
it B, N
New York World