Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1888-02-18
THE JOKER'S BUDGET.

THE JOKER'S BUDGET.
WHAT THE HUMOROUS WRIT.
ERs HAVE TO SAY.
Between the Kisscs-A Startling
Changc-A Modest Request-The
Sage Farmer, Etc, Etc.
he oBJECTED.
Justice days. See that the
fellow gets a bath.
Prisoner right, Judge. L don't
mind the washing, only so aln I lroned
osterward.
CURVED.
Stevie, a bright four-year- old, had
been told that he must not ask for any
thing to eat when visiting the neigh.
bors. Soon after at the house of a dis
tant relative. where he invariably found
something to eat, he hung around with
q wistful sort of look, until finally he
broke out:
"Aunt Jane, I'm awful thirsty"
"Are your
"Yes. an so thirsty L could eat a
doughnut. "-Boston Globe.
Club, did you find quarter here 2"
.. he asked of little chap leaning against
q lamp post at the Post Office corner.
"Naw! Did you drop one?"
81 think did"
"well, you orter know 1 didn't find
it. If had I'd have been mile off by
this time. Us boys never take chances
of the owner coming back. "-Detroit Free
Press.
THE YOUNG MIND.
Mamma" inquired little Kentucky
boy, "what was Adams full name?"
'He only had one name, my dear;
simply Adam"
"And did Eve call him ADAM"
Certainly. What could she call
him p
"She might have called him Colonel. &"
IN. Y. Sun.
KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING.
The congregation OF q church Mt Elk
Rock were much shocked upon learning
that their preacher had departed under
most discreditable circumstances. On
the following Sunday it seemed to bs
the aim of nearly every one to hush up
the scandal, and, under great restraint,
many embarrassing conversations were
had, merely to prove that the members
of the church could arise above sensa-
sere closed Brother Elijah p Brookrod
arose and said
"BrethreR and sisters, since we last
met in this house something which
seems to have cast gloom over this
congregation has occurred. We were all
much attached TO our minister; in fact,
we loved him, and now propose that
we offer up prayer for the wanderer."
A sensational wave swept over the au-
dience. Another brother arose, and
turning to Elijah p. Brookrod, said:
81 am astonished You should desire
this congregation to pray for our erring
minister-you above all others
"Whyl"
"Because he ran away with your
wife"
"Yes, know" Elijah replied, "and
that is the reason why l think he will
need our prayers. Arkansas TTdreIler.
MODEST REQUEST.
"Grandpa," said BERTHE, "you like TO
see young boys enjoy themselves, don't
you;"
"Why, yes, replied grandpa.
"And you lilSe~~t6 do all You can to
Gelp aarea good time, don't your"
"Why, certainly"
al thought so. Well, me and the
Tompkins boys and the Clarks are going
to play Life on the Plains in the Clarks'
barn for the next two afternoons, and
thought I'd ask you to let us take your
wig for a scalp.-7id Bits.
TRUE PoLITENESs.
Eastern Lady (traveling in Montana)
The idea of calling this the "Wild
West" Why. never saw such perfect
poiteness anywhere.
Native-We're alters perlite to ladies,
marin.
"Oh, as for that, there is plenty of DO.
likeness everywhere; but I'm referring
to the men. Why, in NewYork the men
behave horribly to one another; but here
they all treat each other as delicately as
gentlemen in drawing ROOM"
"Yes, marin, it's safer"-O Omaha World
-. THE SAGE FARMEgss='
A few years ago Cape Cod farmer
uttered q sage remark. He said: "This
Sarnin ev'ry girl to play on the pianner
and ev'ry boy to be bookkeeper will
make pertaters 50 bushel afore many
years"
Is this thoughtful farmers prediction
coming true' And is the reason he
gave the real reason why we do not raise
potatoes enough for our own people2
--BostOA Glo6e.
COMPLETE COLLAPSE.
\ ''Yes," he said, 81 tried once TO eat
hirty quail in thirty days, but 1 found
impossible. Why, failed on the
'Mako you sick a.
vNe. 1t didn't make me sick; ran
out of quail. Y. Sun.
SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE.