New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-08-05
THE TALK or THE DA I.

TIE TALK or THE DAY.
Tho Louisville Courier journal" prints editorial
with the tragic title, (Which Way / Fly Is Hsl'
Come, come, Colonel. It can't be as bad as that and
so early in the campaign, too.
Man as an athlete is an unmiugated failure. WIZ,
there's n the humble syr9py grasshopper that iqmPi
apand stand and the snewy ant that dpaas ing
OF cake sixty or seventy times It's own weight Just fol
culinary Doodle Beats all what small potatoes men
Press.
An Engishman wants TO know II President cieve-
land makes our Governor Tn'
az am paid for my work by Democratic money, and
I am doing what am hired and paid for-trying to
Substance Of a statement made BY an alleged ats@
perance advocate not thousand miles from Spring
he was talking anti instead Of practical
temperance People VIII very soon learn how much
advocates who are trying to break down the only
political party that has ever done anything for tenn
perance.-(Springheld Union
Clark W. Bryan & Co., of Springfield, Mass, the
publishers OF Good Housekeeping" have Just issued
useful little book entitled 4" In the Sick Room' u
contains full directions what to do, how TO do and
when to do for the SICK expressed In simple and plain
language
Bystander ito salesady)-You didn't seem 10 take
much pains to induce that lady to purchase that Jar
her she didn't want St' 10 buy s anything VI
But aren't you mis- taken She evidently quito
Sfe By bn me she JAR ever hef 'n'
Yes. that's the reason why knew she didn't IN
tend TO buy it.r-(Boston Transcript
Says an advertising agents. There arc great
many religious papers which could not live II II we're
not for patent medicine and So shoe advertisements
OF course there are many religious papers which
great financial successes but rule the various
denominations do not support their denominatIona
papers as they should support them. don't won
der that religious editor is often discouraged when
he fash papers all around him glowing rich.
while he has root around TO make both ends meets
what If were one of those husbands, my dear
who get up In the morning. ana Dans thlngs
around and kick like everything Just because thu
coffee Is cold 2"
John,' responded his wife, u wouln MAKE IL hos
As her words admitted Of more than one nterpreta-
ton, John said nothing more about the conee-tIlmc
The Bias Relief Manufacturing Company, Of this
city, has put on the market excellent bust OF Gems
cral Harrison, made by new process. The firm exc
poets many orders for the bust during the campaign
A City's Disgrace.-Old Mr.. Bently (reading the
paper)-1t do seem shame that these dead poles ara
allowed remain In the street
Old Mrs. Bently docking over her spectaclesl-Dead
Poles in the street Josiah hen tss IS eS SnS pesr
me 1.-The Epoch.
The paper money of Chill is so deprecated ip
value that guest at hotel has to pay about
5000 day, and bootblacks get $40 for shine
brother of one of the lady teachers who persisted
during blizzard in Dakota recently visited that Sec
ton for the purpose Of removing the remains 10 tns
old home in the East. In settling up with the school
directors where she had been teaching, they made him
discount per cent the amount due her. because she
had not finished the term.-(Lewiston Journal
The bright boy in a Burn gton, Vt, Sunday school,
who said that Free VIII Baptist was one who went
into the tank of his own accord, was sent down tc
the foot OF the class in theology.
correspondent writes that "a young New-Yors
broker' and i" Philadelphia belle OF some renown.
viii shortly be married at sunrise on the summit o.
Sunset Rock. They may regard this high under
the summit of happiness but .v few sUI Yeas
fore sunrise that viii not be so romantic; We refer
to Rock a-bye,' etc.-(Norristown Herald.
good Methodist BROTHER says that the Rev. Mr..
Harrison would like convert the sort of Wall Street
men who are bulls on the street and bears at home
Very good but why not also convert the men who
bears both the street and at home They need cons
version the worst way.
The Hat Went With the Boy. At the Mountain Re.
sort:-Fond Mamma Whose son has lust been rescued,
so much. Nj DE Jones but you've forgotten 10 eel
Tommy's hat-(Pittsburg Bulletin.
If you want to disprove the adage that figures WON'T
lie Just go to any resort and see them lying
in hammocks
Startling I'm very glad to have been of any
comfort to your poor husband, my gooa woman.
But what made you send for me, instead OF your
minlSterl'
Ss 81 p ss % our sn minister S '1S
run the risk"-(London Punch
A club has just been organized in the City Of
Mexico which is composed Of newspaper men who
have been imprisoned for political offences 1t has
large membership of able men.
1t is a rather noticeable fact that the three most
noted of Bostons Unitarian dvines should have
daughters who took naturally TO the brush and thai
each Of them should paint her fathers portrait Miss
Hale has painted her father, Miss Bartol has maze
portra Of hers, and Miss Clarke has nearly com.
peed portrait Of her iahsS S ekbseS Ss
early fall.--(Boson Advertiser.
If you labor under the impression that young peops
do not take enough exercise in hot weather. Just go TO
a hop at a summer resort hotel and see them dance
the Kentucky jubilee 1t is nearly as lively as
heel and toe contest.
Stranger IN dry goods store-what's the price OF
about forty yards of blue silk IA
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS upon what kind OF SIX "nas
stranger-The pcnnant. I'm the manager OF ina
ew-York Baseball Club.-(Detroit Free Press.
1t IS amusing to see Hiram Atkins and b. b. Smaley
beating their tom-toms away up in Vermont, ana
trying to persuade the public that great Democratic
tidal wave is about to sweep over that state.
five had but the wealth we've spent
With careless hand and gesture free,
Scarce knowing where the money Went,
How rich we'd be-
II we but had the love despsed
BY those VIII, who gave gave Us =. 1h h pas' nr,ed
To give aganl
II we but had the hours of timc
That we have spent In useless toll,
We need not burn In writing rhyme
The midnight oil.
That little Z" If the meanest word
In the whole language, without doubt
So useless, hateful, mean, absurd
-(Somerville Journal
The Governor of the Danish colony OF Greenisnu
receives by the ship which brings him his annuai suP
plies copies Of the daily papers Of Copenhagen or .ao
year preceding lie arranges these papers III Wv
order of their dates. and then quietly anu 0a's
reads paper each day. Just as though IL was n0.S
from the press lie is sometimes strongly temp'ee -
peer into futunty by reading some papers sneaa
he comes across interesting news but he ressts 'hs
tcmptaton 10 matter how anxious he Is to know 'he
fate of some measure One days paper Tor e@en s.
is his rule; and so the end of the year ne Is INV.