St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-04-15

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to advantage the face of
The individual wearing it.
Let us first inquire why boards are
worn. The reasons are many. Ihere
are some who wear them as a pr0tec-
ton against the severity OF Northern
winters, some who wear them because
they improve their general appearance,
and some again who desire to appear
older than they really are. Again there
are those who are obliged to wear them
because of throat affections, or faces SO
tender as not to permit of being shaved
frequently. There is still another class
who are continually changing their
facial "make-up" just for the sake OF
the change, and who grow whlSkerS IL
would seem for the pleasure OF remoV-
ing them. There is class OF men, now
ever, the older heads, who
NEVER SHAVE OFF THEIR BEARD.
With such men the beard is their dis
tinguishing feature, and one OF them
would as soon think of cutting OFF his
nose as his beard. 1t is indeed their
principal characteristic, and the men
lion of their names brings up before
the minds eye, not their features, but
their boards.
For instance, there is Stanford New
ell. You no sooner hear the name than
those elegant auburn ''muttOn chops"
loom up before you. You forget his
legal ability, that he is a member OF the
Republican state central committee, the
distinguished services he has rendered
the &. o. Pail is swallowed up in
your absorbing interest in those fluffy
s'teasers." 1t is said Stanford is so
stuck on ''side burns" that he has num-
bered each individual hair of the same,
and when he gets excited and those
dangling treSseS begin to dlsp0rt them
selves in manner unbec0mlng their
high and mighty station, Stanford calls
them down one after another by their
numbers. Indeed, he would as soon
think of quitting the Republican party.
OF even the Minnesota club, as think OF
bidding adieu to his side partners.
There is Joe Wheelock, the distin-
guiShed editor of the Pioneer Press
What would Joe amount to without his
WHISPERS, even though by actual count
there are but thirty-one hairs on one
side of his face and thirty-fve on the
other, and that Ignatius Donnelly once
said, in referring to them, ''every hair
is living protest against the declara-
ton of Independence" The fact is,
Joe's whiskers are his all, and he has
given it out that he draws his inspira
tion from them in the writing OF those
splendid editorials for which he has be-
come famous.
Matt Breen would probably go into
retirement were he Shorn OF his Galway
''sluggers." Matt possesses the unique
distinction of flying the only genuine
sluggers in the Northwest, and he is
certainly proud of the honor. By way
of explanation, the name Galway "slug-
gers' is given to those whiskers which
crop out from under the chin, COM
pletely filling the angle between the
chin and neck. In order that they may
have their best effect the upper lip and
upper part of the chin must be clearly
shaven. Matt Breen owes his success
in life, in large measure, to the happi-
ness and comfort residing in his Gal
ways.
Yes, many of the young men have
had their whiskers taken off since
spring set in," said well-known ton
serial artist new term for barber) in
answer to query made by GLOBE re-
porter. 81 can NOW off winters
growth of hair with my hOrse-clipperS
in less time than it takes to tell it."
The Young man who visits the barber
shop to have his beard removed always
does so with feelings of trepidation.
While he is well aware that it will be
much more comfortable for him during
the hot summer when deprived OF a
mass of warm hair, he is also aware
WhiSkers will cause him to appear as if
he had just passed
THROUGH THE SAUK RAPIDS CYCLONE,
and he knows further that he must go
out into the cold world, and until his
friends and relatives get accustomed TO
his changed appearance, suffer the
sings and pangs of outrageous jibes and
jokes. 1t is in this delightful frame of
mind that the young man of the period
throws himself back in the barber's
chair, and in languid, just-before-the-
battle-mother sort of way eXclaims:
81 want my beard taken off, Click.
click, click go the clippers, and an in
slant later, new man energies from
the shop. His best friends meet him
and pass him by unnoticed. 1t is at
this stage of the game that the whisker-
less youth begins to believe all men
false and tickle and the world snare
and delusion. He would give every
thing he possesses to be as he once was,
but alas! too late.
Zone notices on the streets every day
victims of this spring craze A. NJ.
Doherty, who was once the happy pos
SCISSOR of whiskers that would have
done credit to the Car of Russia, in a
moment of forgetfulness had the bar
Der rae the same from his face. This
was about a month ago and the dire re-
suits of the foolish step will best be I'M
derstood when it is known that he has
Just got on speaking terms again with
his better half.
Everybody knows Charley Fairchild,
and, of course, knows something of
Charley's beard, which comes out in
clumps, never appearing above the re-
giOn of the neck. His were not the
finest whiskers in the land, but they
suited him to dot. Charley claims he
was so comfortable with them that he
eScheWed an OvercOat during the coolest
days of last winter. But they (the
clumps) are now resting serenely in the
sequestered nook of some barber's
waste basket. His friends are coming
back to him.
Jay Davis, the young and handsome
clerk of the district court, smiled dur
ing the chilliest mornings of last win
ter, while the zephyrS from the arctic
regions SOughed and sighed through tho
interstices of splendid facial adorn.
ment. But the warm weather came,
which, together with the heated argu-
ments of contending counsel in the
district court, caused the clammy sweat
to stand out on every hair and his face
to become damp and soggy. So he de-
termined to rid himself Of what had
now become burden, and having made
up his mind, the whiskers were soon 1e-
moved. 1t was doubtful for awhile
whether he could do this and hold his
Job, but he did so, and his friends are
now giving him the laugh and
CALLING HIM A JAY.
The craze has landed in the. P. P.
Office with both feet. A. w. Dunno, the
city editor, whose '.phiz" had for long
time been becomingly attired in a nice
crushed strawberry dress, now appears
among his fellows stripped luxuriance
Of beard that once was the pride of the