National Republican., 1888-03-14
Gentle Spring and Polar Speculation.

Gentle Spring and Polar Speculation.
T. some men are not satisfied with the aver
age Thugs OF this world. Their ideas are
exaggerated, and their demands arc exces.
sive. They overeat, overdrink, overwork,
overlivc, and overdo everything except
virtue, which belongs not to men, but to
Mugwumps. Even In the matter OF the
weather these far reaching men are ever
srasping at something beyond everyday
enjoyment.
We have in mind at this polar moment
Gen. Greedy. Why he should have been
dissatisfied with the mild ethereal early
spIipg which was promised but few days
ago no mortal fellow can find out. Whether
Jealousy Of the famed Canadian Wiggins,
whose forte was In placing earthquakes and
cyclones in seasons OF unusual calm, has
Inspired the pilot Of our weather vane, or
wht tther an aspiration to outdo the pro
pbetIc and reliable ground bog has warped
his better judgment AMI turned his head
once more toward the open Polar sea we
leave to the suffering people OF the Middle
Atlantic states and the ravsged District OF
Columbia to determine. We have heftier
matters 10 lay at the door of our national
weather vsne.
Gen. Greely has been guilty OF delIber.
etely playing a practical joke upon this
part Of his weather jurisdiction. We feel
Justified In saying that, great ss he is 10 the
line of bumorst, the ground hog would
have been less reckless n the treatment of
his admirers Up to the very hour when
Gen. Greedy let loose the hurricane dogs OF
the frIgid zone, and sent tbem galoplng at
the rate Of fifty miles an hour upon the uu-
suspectiDg inhabitants OF this region, he
promised fair, warmer weather. His ofrense
Is aggravated, too, by the fact that at the
very time OF these irpromlses Geu Grsely
knew that large and respectable number
OF sight seers from the lower lake region of
bleak New York were warming their toes
on Washington asphalt, and that another
excursion, equally respectable and blue in
blood, from Cape Cod and Quaddy Head,
was about to swoop down upon tue capital.
With the best intention as to climatic re-
suits, could the weather vane resist two
such combinatlonsY And could Gen Greedy
fail to recognize these bleak, congeallng in
fuencesY
A suspicion is abroad that Geu Greely,
IN cold blood and with ghoulsh glee that
is frozen, invited this blizzard from its
Indigenous icebergs for a selfish purpose.
The possibility of striking pay dirt In sum.
mer resorts at the northwest extremity OF
Greenland has possessed hIs soul. How
better could he accimate whole communi-
ties of prospective linen busters and low
necked gowns than by launching fresh to
brisk Greenland zephyrs upon the tenn
perate 2oneF In this gigantic speculation,
involving profits in Arctic villas aud corner
lots, priceless because adjacent to perennial
glaciers and seeding cebergs, 1t was
natural that the Quaddy mariners should be
invited to conspire with the weather vane.
II Is intImated also that the friends OF
constitutional change Of Inauguration day
have pooled Issues with the open polar sea
syndicate, ard propose to test the public
patience and the price Of coal by a march
that shall put TO shame the ground hogs
worst work on weather.
10 the name OF a long suffering people |
we have Just one favor to ask of Gen.
Greedy, or the ground hog, or whoever is
the manipulation OF the aforenamel corner
In polar real estate, Don't give us one |
swallow promising summer and then ruiely |
tumble Greenlands winter Into the lap of |
Gentle SPRING Unless the syndicate dis.
tribute seal-skin ulsters with corner lots IN
Greenland, Washington will once more hail
Gentle Spring, II you please, with nothing
IN her lap colder than etheral mildness.