The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1888-11-17
OLD MAN DUNDER.
Although Not n Political Success, He II
StiIl nm American Citizen.


"Wcll! Well! But 1 thought you
were in Germany by this time!' ex-
claimed Sergeant Bendall, as Carl Dun
der entered the Woodbridge street
police station yesterday.
"No. doan' go. Maybe dero vhas
some flies on me--maype not.
"But you were discouraged the last
time you were here; you had tried pol
itics and got left. Perhaps you have
struck something olsep"
"Dot vhas it, und ] shall shtay right
here. | learn some new tricks, und |
haf some chances to speculate.
"Tell me about it," said the SER
geant, as he settled down in his chair.
"Maype you doan' like to hear from
some greenhornsr' replied Mr.. Dunder
with an injured look. "lf vhas green
ash grass und some cows feed on me,
better | go home?"
"Come, go ahead. What new tricks
have you got?'
"Vhell, sergeant" said the old man
as he melted slowly, dot trick [
shpeak of vhas to wait until more ash
ten loafcrs vhas in my place, schwear.
ing und splitting und hugging the
stove, und den put in IA shtick of wood
init some powder in it und blow 'em
oop. You neafer saw such schumping
und running in your life. 1t vhas
enough to kill you nit laughing. A
stranger gifts me dot trick for two
glasses of beer"
"You blow up the loafers?"
"Dot vhas it,"
"But you blow up the stove, too. and
perhaps your saloon. Can you afford
to buy a new stove every time you want
to play the trick?"
"Eh? Does der stoaf go, blow up,
toop"
"Of course"
HIN! / doan' think of dot pefore.
OF course der stoaf vhas blown oop nit
der loafers, und maype der house vhas
on fire."
What clse?"
"Vhell, l figure on some canary
birds. / can buy 'em in Shermany for
two shillings apiece"
Yes"
"Und der price here vhas two dol
lar"
Exactly"
'If | buys one million der profit
vhas oafer Il million und Il half dollars"
al see. You want agents here and
(tA,.,,nn,, thnpn i-t tln ,yt Of
transportation, the loss by death, and
you must find a million buyers. Splen-
did scheme, Mr. Dunder. / suppose
you'll buy steamer to ship by"'
H m! get dot speculation for two
dollars in cash. Vhas he wrong?'
"Oh no; go right ahead. Any thing
clse?"
What if | buy oop all der oranges
in der country for a million dollars?"
Then you could advance prices
fifty per cent. and make IL heap of
"Shust so. / vhas glad you see it
like me. Dot scheme cost me only
tree dollar"
"But where is the million dollars to
buy with?"
Him, dots so. Oh! | remember
now. vhas to gif my note for one
year. Dot makes her all satisfactory"
"What else?"
"Vhell, goes in der railroad pces.
ness. | guess"
"How?n
"In Mexico. If we build one hum
lrcd miles of railroad we get two mil
lion acres OF land. Dot land vas
worth twenty million dollar, und der
income of der road vas fife millions Il
'.ear. Here was der figures like some
grease. Dot pointer cost me two dol
lar"
'.Splendid idea. Mr.. Dunder, why
don't you buy the City Hall for SIC 900
and sell it back to the city for half
million?"
"By Shorge! but dot was excellent,
1t was wonder | doan' think of dot
pefore"
"And, say, you could buy up forty
steamboats, this fall for $4,000 apiece
and sell them next spring for double
the money"
"Donder und bitten, but you vas a
sharp man, sergeant. l doan' know
you pefore. Shake my hand. How
much shall pay you?n
80, that's all right. Mr.. Dunder.
You can always have my advice Free"
"Und When make two hoonered mil
ion dollars gif you der best bank in
Detroit for "a present. Goodbye, SER
geant, | see you quicker again ven l