davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-03-15
SQUIBS.

4 young negro boy in the household of
q New Orleans family was overheard by
his mistress, while reciting his evening
prayer, to say, "Forgive us our precipices
and lead US onter a plantation"
Always approach buzz saw with your
toes pointing in the opposite direction
First Chicago child-"We've got new
baby at our house, Second G. G. ICON
tenn ptuously )-"That nothing. We've
got a new papa at ours"
Though man may have rasping voice
That like knife goes through you,
It's sweeter than sweet music when
He says: f'Here's what owe you.''
'FNever allow a fish to lie if it can be
hung conveniently" says popular cook
book. This is good rule to apply to
fishermen as well.
Minister-"WeIl, Febby. do you think
you will be better boy this year than
you were lastG" Bobby (hopefully-"I
think so, sir; began taking cod liver oil
last week"
Nothing so uncertain in life as the con-
dition Of an investigated bank run by i'm
beetle Directors and an old "honored and
trusted" cashier.
The verdict returned by a Western
Coroner's jury in the case of a man who
hanged himself by his suspenders to a
bed post is said to be: "The deceased
came TO his death by coming home drunk
and mistaking himself for his pants"
Farmers Daughter-''I suppose you
want my father to take you in for the
season." Tramp-"No, Miss; if you will
kindly sew shirt onto this button, that's
all | ask"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-03-15
What to Plant and Sow.
Practical Farmer.

Winter is soon to pass and spring will
rapidly follow in its wake; therefore we
must complete our plans as to what to
plant and SOW. and on what particular
fields to put it; some fields will be better
adapted to a certain crop than another,
aHd we should study out their adaptable
ity to the different crops and act accord
ingly. | have always believed in mixed
farming and rotation of crops, think
ing it to be the surest to produce the
farmers bread and butter, and also the
best for the farm. It should be the
farmers first endeavor to raise whatever
he is likely TO need in his own family.
He will hardly ever go wrong if he raises
what his farm is adapted to that he wants
TO consume at home. If farmer is like
~ to neen a certain crop TO feed out he
should not neglect to grow it simply be.
cause he thinks that the crop will be
'cneap in the fall.' He may find him
self mistaken when the time comes
Even if it should be cheap, he will have
raise the meney to pay for it, and I con-
tend that it is usually better to raise the
crop than it is to raise the cash to pay
for it.
Corn is g crop that but few farmers
can afford to neglect. It comes in handy
at great many times and IN great
many different places; and so does the
fodder, on most farms. It pays to SOW
or plant a piece especially for fodder,
| and if not put into the silo, cure it dry.
The garden is a plot, too, that it pays to
cultivate aud pay especial attention to,
for then it will produce a great deal of
stuff, and go good ways in the support
of the family. 1t may be risky to plant
or SOW an extensive area, TO any one crop
for market, because of the uncertainty
of the future price in the market, but
there is but little risk in cultivating
whatever we wish to use at home.
A farmer must take his chances against
drouth. insects and other thing beyond
his control, and if all his labor and CAPT
tai is in one crop, ard that crop fails, it
goes rather hard with him. 1t is too
much of venture if he has no surplus
cash to tide him over the gap to another
harvest. If a farmer has variety of
crops to rely on he feels great deal more
independent, and less anxious about the
result of the harvest; therefore he can
take more comfort than if he feels that
his success all rests on the crop. The
farmer should aim to buy as little as
possible of what he can raise on his own
farm. F. FL. D.
Corning, Steuben County, n. Y.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-03-15
The Bedstead is to Blame.

Or. Edwin NJ. Jones, the rheumatic
expert of Wisconsin, said to an in
-quirer about the means of preventing
rheumatism. ''Humpht If [ told you
n1y occupation would be gone. But !
go in for REFORM" he added, land l
viii tell You some of the causes and a
few WAYS of preventing it One-half
the diseases now prevalent are due to
the bedstead that You sleep on. Funny,
eh? Yet it is true. How many years
ago was it when the high, comfortable
.old-fashiOned bedstead was the fash
ion? distinctly remember that when
q man was afflicted with rEeumat ism
he was of about no use to the world.
When our gray-headed men were boys
it was old men that had rheumatism.
Now it is young men and haye treated
q 7-year-old boy.
''The nearer you get to q ceiling
continued the doctor, 'Ethe warmer it
is, and The nearer the floor the more
draughts there are. slept in bed
in Albany last night that was not &
foot from the floor, but go prepared.
| wear a wooden nightcap and night
dress that buttons tightly and high up
on the neck. Then, again, great fault
in a hygienic way, lies with the build
ers. Houses are built wrong. A man
builds q row of flats to rent. Tom,
Dick, and Harry run IN and out, leav-
ing the door open and filling the halls
full OF cold air. You sit in your heated
room and have occasion to step out
for moment. You don't bundle up,
and the consequence is your heated
skin receives a shock and you catch
cold.
''Now, if you want to avoid rheuma-
tism," continued the doctor, 81 would
advise you to observe the following
rules:
1. Don't wear flannel undergar-
ments. Wool is made to wear outside.
Wear Canton flannel.
2. Wear thick shoes in the winter,
and in wet weather wear cotton socks
next to the skin, and if not warm
enough wear merino ones over them.
3. Wear breast and back pad
made of silk with a cotton batting
lining. Put it on in September and
take it off in April.
4. Wear the same thickness of uu-
dergarments the year round. Regu-
late the weight Of your clothes from
the outside.
5. Wear nigbtcap. but don't take
a Kentucky one. Keep the neck warm
both asleep and awake, and you will
be healthy man.
people have laughed at my vagar-
les, as they call them, and then came
to me later with all seriousness and
given me a $40 bill to pay for their
sound rest and good health because
they followed my advice"
The doctor is pleasant hammered
gentleman, who talks earnestly and
sometimes bluntly. At one time he
told Salmon P. Chase that he could
prolong his life, but Mr.. Chase would
not take his medicines after the first
dose, saying that he preferred to die
rather than take another dose.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-03-15
A Ghost Tells of His Brothers Death.
Globe Democrat

Mrs. Margaret R, respectable wo.
man, who does washing by the day to
support herself and two small children
| recently had rather terrifying ghostly
experience, which she related to the sister
of the writer. Mrs. Rs husband, it D
pears, died from in uries received in an
accident that happened on the new aque-
duct, now being built to supply this city
with water. Since his death she has had
hard time in making both ends meet
One night several weeks ago, Mrs. R
returned home later than usual. She had
been at work all day for a lady in the
suburbs, and before she reached the tene
ment house at No. so, Henry street, the
clock had struck 10. After cropping her
way upstairs in the dark, she entered
her room and began to search for match
to light the gas, when she was surprised
to hear footsteps directly behind her.
Thinking some one had followed her in,
she asked. ''Who's there?" There was no
answer, so she proceeded to scratch the
match, but hand laid gently on her arm
restrained her, and deep. husky voice
said (she is quite certain of the words) {:
Maggie, don't light up yet. It's me,
Andrew" She was more surprised now
than before, not to say frightened. An
drew was the name of her husband, but
she knew he was dead and buried in Cal
vary Cemetery. So she believed that
some one who could initiate his voice
was playing trick on her, and there
fore did not lose her presence of mind
but said:
ANDREW, if it is you, what do you
want?"
81 have come to tell you that my broth
er Thomas, died this afternoon at o'clock
in Ireland. He left $1,000 to me, not
knowing of my death, and the lawyers
are looking for me now Go and notify
Mr.. N, of 173 Broadway, and show
him my naturalization papers and 1T
will Lead to your getting the money for
yourself and the children. That is ell. I
am happy. Now, light the lamp"
She Immediately scratched the match
and in the the lurid light tEat followed,
she distinctly saw her husband standing
by the mentelpiece, looking over at the
bed where their two children were sleep
ing. He looked as he used to look when
alive. On his head was an old SLOUGH hat,
stained with lime spots and his tall form
was covered, as usual, with his blue jean
overalls and jumper. Mrs. R turned
on the gas, lit it, and looked toward the
form again, but it had vanished. She
was SO much frightened that she fell
fainting on the bed, and did not arise
again until morning. When she awoke
she thought she had dreamed of the ghost.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-03-15
Knives and Forks Were Scarce.

Title May Forney, in the last num-
Der of Woman. SAYS of the evolution
of eating:
1t was late in the fourteenth century
when the first evidence of art in the
the buffet. The dishes were made OF
pewter or wood, and spoons of none,
wood, or silver. Knives were rare.
and on that account guests invited to
feasts carried their own knives.
Forks came in general use still later,
and for long years after their intro
duction they were considered ridicul-
Gus affectation and fOppery, and not
nearly so convenient as ones own
fingers. The lord and his lady dipped
their fingers into the same plate and
slipped their wine from the same cup.
Even the queenly Elizabeth, with all
her elaborate ideas of etiquet, was con-
tent to carry her food to her mouth
with her fingers, and at first desplsed
the newly invented fork as unseemly
and awkward.
Very gradually the dining hall grew
in comfort and splendOr. Dishes Of
gold and silver were made, and so
eager We're the mobiles for them that
they would sacrifice anything to pos
sess them. The salt cellar was for a
long time the article of highest import
| ance on the board. 1t was great
affair and stood directly in the center
Of the table; it was the dividing line;
the mobiles were seated above the salt,
the commouers below; hence grew
the proverb, Below the salt" The
| passing of salt was a ceremOnious GUS
tom, the guest throwing pinch over
his left shoulder and murmuring a
| blessing.
The salt cellars were of the most
curious devices. Sometimes they re-
presented huge animals, sometimes q
| great, full-blown flower on a long,
slender stem, and again they were
! in the shape Of a chariot, mounted on
four wheels, on which they were easily
run down the table.
The first glass cups came from
Venice during the sixteenth century,
and from that time on society began
to lose many of its primitive ways,
| and became, in a sense, more refined.
Henry VIII. was born with luxur-
| ious tastes; he had his banquet chairs
supplied with velvet cushions, and
about this time the parlor or talking
room, as it vas called, was introduced;
and here the danes took refuge when
the dinner advanced beyond prudent
limits, as it invariably did before the
| finisn.
The cook that presided over tlle
kitchen in those days was not the
counterpart of our nineteenth century
| Bridget, but he was an artist, aud
generally a man of quality. The
ladies of the household, even those OF
noble birth, attend 4 to many domes-
tic duties, making the bread, preserv-
ing the fruits, while to understand
the proper use of starch was consider,
ed a great accomplishment
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-03-15
n Story of Governor swineford.

Governor Swineford, Of Alaska, is
said TO contemplate resigning. He is
credited with having made some pro-
Eitable mineral strikes, and to need
more time than his executive duties
at present allow him to look after
them. Governor Swinefords name
recalls a good story related of him
while editing little weekly newspa-
per in Michigan. He was sitting in
his office one day doing nothing in
particular when an old acquaintance,
travelling man, who had accidentally
struck the town, dropped in. After a
brief talk about the merits of Swine
ford's journal, the caller laid 81 bill
on 1.-THE table, instructing the editor to
"Esend him the paper until that was
fHplayed out" Swinef0rd pocketed
the money, and shortly afterward, so
the story goes, the two adjourned to an
adjoining relaxation temple, where q
RNmber of games of pyramid pool were
INDUCED in. At the close of the
hours play they ''sawed off" and Edi-
ter Swineford found himself .'stuck"
for the entire bill. He paid it, how
ever, and said nothing. Some time
after that his friend again came 80
town and the first thing he did was to
call on the editor and complain bitterly
ot his nou-receipt of single number
Of the paper. What are you talking
aboEt?' was Swineford's alleged reply,
'tdidn't you tell me to send the paper
till the s. bill was played out?' 1t
was played out, sir, just an hour after
you gave it to me, before single
issue of the paper had gotten to press"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-03-15

Averaging these records VIC find the re-
suit TO be 2:154. Then comes Yolun-
teer with st. Julien, 2:114; Gloster, 2:1T;
and Alley, 2:19. Their average is 2:1515.
Electloneer follows closely behind Voluu-
teer with Manzanita, PIG, Anteo, 2:16ll 4,
and Adair, 2:174, the average rate of
speed in their case being 2:1615, and
when ii is borne in mind that Manzanita
made her record last season when but 4
years old, and that she will undoubtedly
go faster this year, it must be conceded
that Electiopeer is won6 erfully well TO
the front in this regard, as he certainly
is in Others"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-03-15
The Mother of Napoleon.

Of Mime. Mere's economical tenden-
cies we have an amusing anecdote.
She was once rebuked by the emperor
for not spending her million francs 4
year. i will spend it, she replied,
cautiously, ION condition that you
give me two" She lived in Rome for
over twenty-five years, greatly res
pected by everybody. 1t IS curious
fact that the emperor always
spoke 10 her in Italian, but wrote TO
her in French. There is not an Italian
letter written ny him to his mother
extant. although he frequently wrote
in that language to his sisters. -SatUr-
dag ReUieC.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-03-15
DRIVING OUT THETYCOONS.
The Japanese Warrior Who Restored the
MikadO TO Power.
Boston Herald.

Late reports from Japan announce the
death in that country of one of the most
noted Japanese of the present century,
man remarkable from the fact that he
started revolution which brought about
results diametricaIly opposite to those
which it had been his intention to secure.
The name of tAis i'm portant parsonage
during the late feudal period of Japan
was Shimedzu Saburo, the head of what
was the Satsuma clan, the largest and
most powerful tribal organization in that
empire; so large indeed, that its chieftain
was able, in the space of a few days, to
put into the field $4,000 wen-eS tipped and
! we'll trained soldiers. In 1862, four years
after his accession to the headship of his
! family, Shimadzu conceived the idea of
bringing the Mikado of Japan, the
i'm perial head Of the Japanese govern
ment, from the retirement in which he
and his predessators for several genera
tions had been kept by the Shoguns or
| Tycoons, the great hereditary ministers
that, in the name of their sovereign, had
exercised autocratic power at Yed6o, the
| political ca pital of the country.
| It was Shimadzu's opinion that the
| Shotgun had been altogether too much
contaminated by foreign customs, and
that it was necessary for the safety of
the country to depose him from his high
Office, restor to practical government the
| legitimate ruler, whose rights had
been usurped, and who would prectice
that conservative policy which beftted
japanese monarch.
By his political and military power,
Shimadzu succeeded in carrying out his
undertaking. The Shogun was driven
into retirement and the Mlkado came to
Yeddo and took public control of affairs;
but instead of becoming reactionary in
his ideas, and appointing Shimadzu his
prime minister, instructing him to drive
ell foreigners out of the empire and
restoring again the old customs of non
intercourse the Mikado entered upon a
progressive, developing policy, with the
idea of making Japan one of the sister
hood of great civilized nations.
This led after time, 10 an attempted
rebellion, not by Shimdzu himself, but by
his immediate folowers-an uprising
which was put down in consequence of
the skill which the Japanese soldiers of
the imperial army had acquired in the
art of civilized warfare. With this mill
tary defeat the old feudal system of
Japan went to pieces, and for several
years past its last great representative
has lived in retirement, cherishing the
belief that, through a mistaken ac5 of his
own, he had placed his country on the
high road to ruin.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-03-15

Count, still more proudly. show |
made my fatherland great and glorious
beyond all lands OIL eartl | do not
need to mention, for | presume my
fame has long ago assembled here.
.'Your fame" retorted Saint Peter,
with increasing Indignation, has not
reached US, but the groans OF dying
youths have risen to Us from your bat
tle-felds, and from desolate homes the
despair of mothers and brides; and 1
tell you, wretch, if you have nothing
better than this to urge, you are lost
manr'
TIE Count grew still paler, and had
not n word to say for himself
At this moment the little boy, linger-
inc on the threshold Of eaven. called
out:
..Mr Peter! Mr.. Peter!'
s'Are YOU still there, my little man?"
returned the apostle. ''Why DO you
not enter?"
Instead Of replying to the question,
the little fellow said:
''Mr. Peter. 90 YOU see this hum
ming top" Saint Peter returned in
diligently, pray, how came it here?'
MY mother laid it in nay grave with
me, " answered the child seriously. He
then picked up his top, rewound the
string, and extending the top tempt
ingly toward the apostle, said:
Mr.. Peter, if you will let the Count
20 in there with me l viii let you spin
my top"
'Do you know the Count, child?'
'Of course. 1t vas the Count that
gave me the top"
"Ah! Tell me how that happened,
dear boy"
'Once [ was sitting at the door,
eating my bread, and when [ had
finished l began to CRY. Just then
tire Count came driving along i'll 4
beautiful blaze and gold coach, with
four grey horses. And the carriage
stopped and the Count said:
Are you hungry, little boy?'
NO said l, 4 have just had my
bread
"sAnd tie Count said, Then why
are YOU crying?'
and then l said, I am so lonely,
| Father and mother go off to work early
in the morning, and don't come home
| till late at night, and the children won't
/ IJLUJ VIII iuC DtCduSG am Sc SLOW.
| Then the Count said he would bring
him something to play with. And in
a little while he came back with the
top, and we made it spin, the Count
and l together; after that l never cried
any more"
Saint Peter made no reply. bat
buried his head in his ledger mutter-
ing:
i knew he's rather old foggish in
his accounts, our old bookkeeper,
Gmbriel-still we have always been
able to rely on him-ah, | was sure OF
it!' he exclaimed iovfu!Iy; there it is
on the very last credit page:
-'tGave day laborec's crippled
child a toy-commonly called a hum
ming -top-and with great kindness
and gentleness showed the boy how tc
spin it"
With almost youthful eagerness
Saint Peter seized his red pencil and
drew broad line through the whole
long list of sins and offeRses, and the
next moment the Count, clasping the
child's hand, entered the kingdom OF
heaven Translated FROM the Gor@aaR
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-03-15
PACIFIC RAILWAY COMMITTEE.
Outhwaite's Pacific Railway Bill to be Re-
nnrtnd EaNnra hIu

OuthWaite's Pacific Railway Bill to be Re-
ported FayOrably.
WASHINGTON, March 1.-The house COM
mittee on Pacific railroads to day unani-
mously agreed to the Cultivate bill ex-
tending the time for tie payment of the
government debt by the subsidized roads
comprised in the Union Pacific system.
The bill is amended by striking out all
roads except the Union Pacific and it's
bond aided divisions. The bill is also
modified by restrictions which make it
more positive iii dealing with corpora
ti0ns. AS an instance, it directs the
attorney general to bring suit at once to
recover the misappr0priated funds of the
road, instead of leaving it within his
Jurisdiction. The extension of indebted
ness is for fifty years. It is understood
that separate bills for each of the Pacific
roads will eventually be reported to the
house, it having been determined that
roads shall be dealt with separately in
stead of collectively.
The committee this morning received
from G. p. Huntingdon, vice president
of the Central Pacific railroad, bill for
refund1ng that roads Indebtedness to the
government. 1t provides that the court
of claims shall make computations for
finding the present worth of the debt in
stead of the -5cretary of the treasury.
and this court shall also determine and
deduct the equities. The debt shall be
divided into two hundred and fifty
equal installnents, payable semi
annually, with security lin the shape
of 125 year bonde at two per cent. and
mortgage. The company may redeem
at any time its bonds by discounting
them at two per cent. There is authori-
zation for refunding the first mortgage
debt by the company and the last clause
also provides for the alternative authori-
cation for the government to refund said
debt by issuing two per cent. ffty-year
bonds, redeemable by the Central Pacific.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-03-15
A Birthday Rhyme.

So glide the days, dear! Dawn viii not delay,
NOontide will come! nor linger in its flight;
And even time in turn must pass away
Into the darkness of the dreamless night
Hold fast, beloved, thy season of delight;
Make merry while the morning gIds the SLY
And dews undried upon the roses lie;
Thy golden morn of May-time, brief as
bright
For labor waits; and thou canst not miss;
Grief for thy gladness, and for laughter
tears.
All. loyel il only love might spare thee TINS
Might hold Il little farther off the years!
little longer bind thy winged feet,
o Youth most swift in passing, and most
Overland Monthly
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-03-15
THE HOME AND FIRESIDE.
FROM DAY To DAY.
NORA PERRY N HARPER's MAGAZINE.

Only from day TO day
We bold our way,
Uncertain ever
Though hope and gay desire
Touch with their IRE
Each fresh endeavor.
Only from day TO day
We grope Our way
Through hurrying hours;
But still our castles falr
Lift TO the cir
Their glistening tower
And still from day 10 day
Along the was
Beckon us ever,
To follow, follow, follow,
Ger hill AID hollow,
With fresh endeayor.
Sometimes, triumphant, gay,
The bugies play
And truLupetS sound
From out those glistening towers.
And rainbow showers
BedeW the ground.
Then sweet, oh, weet the way
We smiling say,
ana lOrNdrU PRESS
With swift. impatient feet
And hearts that beat
NTH eagernesS.
Yet still hey ond, the gay
Sweet bugieS blow,
The trumpets blow
However we fly ing haste,
Or tagging waste,
The hours that go.
Still far and far away,
Till comes the day
We gain that peak
La Darien; then, bliad
No more, we find
Perchan1e, what we do seek?