Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-10-11
MIR. AND MRS. BOWSER
With Reckless Munifcenee He PUP
chases a Scat.
The Essential Difference Between q
Goat and q Chamois Illustrated.
Detroit Free Press.

Bowser, and as soon as he came up from
the Office I mentioned the fact, and added
'You are not going to buy another dog
l hope?"
"Humph!" ne replied, as he hung up
his hat.
'And don't want any cats around"
THAT'S just like yoH! It's wonder
to me the brute creation doesn't fly when
you step out doors. I wouldn't have as
hard heart as yours for al the world"
"And as for pigs, Mr.. Bowser, I hope
you won't think Of 'em. The neighbors
haven't yet got over your last adventure
in the pig line"
"My adventure!" he shouted. 'You
teased me TO buy a pig and build pen.
WANTED 10 crafty you, pumpkin-head
that I was, and I bought pig. What
did have to do with his sqaealing the
whole "a hours? What did have TO do
with his getting out Of the pen a dozen
times per day."
"Oh, well, let's not have any more COWS
or pigs Or hens or dogs. We don't seem
TO understand them"
'Don't we? We don't if We don't want
to! Some wives are domestic and like to
make home of home, but others think
of nothing but dressing and gadding the
streets"
'If husband buys q cow which gives
two quarts of milk daily, and her feed
alone comes to Ave times the price of her
milk, l don't see where the economy
comes in"
He didn't reply to that, and next morn
ing when opened the back door the same
three boys were waiting for Mr.. Bowser.
They had a William goat with them.
The animal was securely tied with ropes,
and the boys kept a viligent eye On him
besides. That's what Mr.. Bowser was up
TO, ana as I knew he had set his heart on
it, 1 said never q word. He sneaked out
TO the barn, came TO terms with the boys,
and the goat was turned into the back
yard. When we had finished breakfast,
Mr.. Bowser plaoidly inquired:
"Mrs. Bowser, do you know that there
is money in goass?"
Howl"
"They are not only valuable for their
wool and meat, but in In sanitary point
of view they cannot be equaled. One goat
woBli keep our back yerd entirely free
from every thing offensive
would her"
"Not only that, but he would be play
mate for our child, and doctors tell me
that the odor of q goat stimulates q child's
appetite"
What doctors, please"
IF l said anything about angels, you'd
want me TO specify Betsey, Sarah, or
Hattie wouldn't your"
"Nell, presume they are healthy, Mr..
Bowser. You must know, of course"
Certainly I know. Do not confound
the goat with the channels, Mrs. Bowser.
There's marked difference between them.
The chamois is found in India, Asia,
Switzerland and two or three other coun-
tries. The goat is indigenous to every
country. The chamois is a very tinid
animal; the goat is not. It rather seeks
the society of man."
81 wiRh I knGw as much as yon d."
said, desiring to molly him still further.
Eyes, but you never will. You can't
exSsct to. You were not born that way.
However, have surIrise for you and
the shiid. [ have Just made a purchase
of a goat"
"A real goat?"
Certainly. Some folks deal in the
imitation L never do. Come out into
the back yard"
We went out. William had just finish
ed the last of the kitchen towels the girl
had on the grass, and he acted like goat
who wanted something more solid to
finish up on. Mr.. Bowser took baby in
his arms and started down the steps, and
william lowered his head and struck out
with his feet.
Gle may be dangerous, Mr.. Rowser."
Dangerous! So is canary bird. You
will see him take to the child like fl y
to sugar. See how stately he stands!
TIL have a photographer up here this
afternoon"
He was advancing as he talked, and he
was not yet half way across the yard
when ] saw streak Of goat shooting
across the grass. a dull thud followed,
and baby few over the clothesline and
Mr.. Bowser went to grass. How / go*
that child into the house I can't reinem-
Der, but I guess the goat was too busy
with Mr.. Bowser to notice me. They
rolled over and over. They rose up and
went down again. Sometimes Mr.. Bowser
was ON his hands and knees and again he
was doubled up on the grass. I screamed
for the cook, and with great presence of
mind she seized q couple of fresh sheets
off the clothes bars and ran out with them
as Ed Offering. The goat preferred sheets
to Bowser, and as he turned away and be-
gan to devour them, my husband crawled
up the steps to a place of safety. He
had been hit in what they called the
sbread- basket" and in the small of the
back and between the shoulders, and, in
deed, the goat had neglected no opening.
"Mr. Bowser," said, as I brought the
camphor, "do not confound the goat with
the channels. The chsmois is very timid
animal, while the goat is not"
He looked up at ne with stony gaze.
"He is not only beautiful playmate for
our child, but the doctors say that the
musky odor stimulates an appetite. Are
yoInot hungry, Mr.. Bowser?"
ThAre was a whole load of stone IN his
gaze This time.
"They are not only valuable for their
wool and meat" I went on, shut In a
sanitary point Of view they cannot be
equaled."
He uttered groan and crept into the
house and tumbled on the lounge. 1t
took me an hour to get the grass and
sand out of baby's eyes and ears, and
had Just finished when Mr.. Bowser rolled
off the lounge, ran down stairs for the
snow shovel, and minute later he ap-
peared in the back yard and made q rush
| for the goat. He hit the clothes-reel, the
barn, the fence and the ash barrel, but he
missed the goat. William ducked, and
lodged and twisted, and had great fur
| for twenty minutes. Then it suddenly
struck him that he had an engagement
| elsewhere, and he went over the fence
| like cat and clattered out of sight or
the sidewalk. By and by Mr.. Bowsel
came in.
aIs he gomez" asked.
| eyes; he IS gone. And I want to say tc
! you right here and bow that it is the las
| -;e,a 80 ,orcaoea of rour;z TIL evar mi