Morning journal and courier., 1888-12-12
CHARMING.

There is charming elasticity about girl of IS springs. Washington Post. There is one thing women like about poli- tics and that is the bustle.-New York Jour- nal.
 "I'll dock you for this5Sa' said the man on the wharf when the steamer came in late.- Ocean.
 The man who finds fault when his news paper is damp is equally dissatisfied when il I is dry.-Time. It would be in order for the men who are l welded to money making to occasionally eel l ebrate the tin wedding.-Atchison Globe. It is pretty hard to raise child without losing your temper occasionally. The same applies to car window.-Yonkers States- man.
 Secretary Whitney has discovered that in calculating the capacity of steel gun it's "bust measure" must be etaken.-Washington Post.
 Lawyer-EI have my opinion of you' Citzen-''Well, you can keep it. The last opinion got from you cost me $150." ."-Yon- kers Statesman. ttDont you have any dessert, Pata" 'tPhat's that9" ''Why, something to eat after din- ner." "Yisi yisl I have me supper, r."- New York World. The recent suicide of telephone girl indi- 1 eates that the suffering of those who use the instruments is sometimes too much, even for the chosen agents of the iuquisition.-Chi t-eago News.
 Inquiring ohild-'tWhat is Bourbon, pas' | Intelligent parent-''A Bourbon, my child, is ! one who does not change his opinions prompt- | ly enough to suit his opponents. ."-New York Herald.
 "And now, little girls" said a Sunday | school teacher, "you may tell me about the Episeles." A little girl held up her hand. "Well," said the teacher. "The Epistles, J said the little girl, 'tthe Epistles are the wives of the Apostles. ."-Boston Journal. One of the women wsge-earners to when g blank was sent by the labor bureau replied to | the question, "Are you married, single, or g | widow?" as follows: 'I have been married, | but am now single. I am also @ widow , l She was sdivorced.-Augusta (Me.) Journal. | A man who is owing us little bill said he ! would call last week and pay us if he was | alive. He still appears on the street, but as | he did not call, it is naturally supposed that he is dead and is walking around to savt funeral expenses. Gloucester Advertiser. l Lady-Show me your cloaks, please. Clerk-Here are some elegant ones. Only
 $s5.
 Lady-I am not hired girl, sir. Clerk-Beg pardon, ma'am. Here is | line at $25 that can recommend.-Chicagt | Tribune.
 1 A compositor on a paper in this city one was setting report of Decoration day ad dress in which occurred the sentence: "Of cers and privates furled their battle flags. l This is the way he interpreted it: ''Oficer
 and privates folded their both legs."-Rom Sentinel.
 Elderly spinster (to dry goods clerk6"pl look at some stockin's, mister" Clerk
 Stockings, mum? Yes mum. SomethinI for yourself3" Elderly spinster-(scanninl
 him over her spectacles)-"S "Sartin, yonn
 man; dye think I'm buyin' stockins' for tn l neighborhoop?'-The Epoch.
 Honesty the best policy-He Crying t play the trump card)-As I passed you
 house last evening thought heard an ange
 singing.
 She (stifhy)-I was at the theater last eve ming Mrs. Mulhooly and her twins were a our house visiting the eook.-New Yorl
 Weekly.
 Little Flora, three years old, lives in tn
 country, where pigs are numerous and are il
 the habit of rubbing or scratching themselve against the fence or anything convenient
 Flora saw one induiging in this one day l when she said: 50, mamma, there is an
 other pig sharpening himseh.-Youth' | Companion.