Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1888-08-04
The OmnIscient Hotel Clerk.

The Omniscient Hotel Clerk.
"Now, that namc," said the hote
clerk. running his diamond hiltet
finger down the register and paus-
ing ut the name OF Gnrlproat, "tlla
name is Il fraud. That man is tray
Cling incog., and there is some
thing crooked Admit him."
why do | think so? Why,
almost know tin fact, do know
it intnitively. It's my business t.
he familiar with names, and the
derivation to them. Now, there is
no such name as Gurlproat. 1t i,
a machine name, manufactured fol-
an emergency, something like the
characters in Dickens novels the
Veneerings, Podsnaps, Nicklebys,
Teggs, horrits, Jaggers and Chuz
zlewitz. l am obliged, you know
TO be sharp in my business. [ tell
you lie is 81 fly fakir from Flytown.
He is a qneer one, and you can bel
high on that.
"Now, there is a min," continued
the hotel clerk, pointing TO another
squaretoed specimen Of caligraphy;
"tAat man Jones.there,J. @. Jones,
he's Ill o. X. There is no snhter.
fnge about him. He comes in and
plaDtS down his gripSack, deposits
a roll Of bills in the safe, calls for a
stylus, lndorses the register, and
there you have it straigllt.and fat.
footed. j. @. Jones, $1,000 in his
roll in the safe. He is a man who
will do to tie up TO. We have to
he good judges of human nature in
this business. l tell yon, aud are
obliged TO be teetotally and strictly
sharp BntJOnes is solil..with This
house. lie has been here. a. week
s.nolsa,s shave dyancell hin $500
1Yon are sure I tie lie roll contains
money, are you7" inquired the re
porter, carelessly.
''Surc! why, ILLS Al express
package, sealed, and the amount
marked on the corner. Guests Otter
leave them With MS for security
I'll should want to know it was MI
right before loane'l money on it,
pursued the reporter.
"Tliat's where you would foo
Yourself. That's where you would
insult guests and drive trade away.
Bul"-the sharp clerk. spoke this
a little uneasily-!.just to show you
What a square man Jones is, III
send up this bill,' and the clerk
proceeded to sound the loud tim
brel, which summoned bell boy
"Here, run up to So with this"
said the clerk.
While the bell boy was on his
his mission the susp;ciouSGurIproat
calue up TO the Office to settle his
bill.
"That's be-GnrlproatD said th,
clerk, forming the words With hi
mouthwithout uttering n sound
"cight dollars and II 1uarter-tw,
days and h llf.n
"IIeyW says the despised Curl
pr0at.
1.-TWO days and a half-eight ant
" quarter, answered the clerk
wlnking at the reporter.
eight dollars"
. "Eighi?"
"And a quarter"
GAIL right-correct," and MI
J Grrlproat handed him $40 BILL
: The sharp clerk. spent five minute
critically examining and testini
: the same. While doing so the su'
; pected guest observed:
: III Colonel james GurIproat, c
f Montgomery. Ala, calls for mt
: please tell him L have gone t
| Washington"
Tile hotel clerk looked suddenl
!, mp and his face was like circu
e poster gilded By the rays of sur
set.
j care You Congressman Curl
5 proat, Of Alabamas" he inquired.
"Hey?"
t care you Congressman Cur
proat. of AlabamaS'
l "No, I am his brother. ar
! Judge Gurlproat, formerly of tn
=, Supreme Bench !"
He had his change, andinanotl
n err instant the porter was obsequ
ously escorting him to a carriag'
! "Why," exclaimedthe CLERK, sit
\ singular I happened to forget tina
: Gurlproat family of Montgomer.
4 1t just beats all. Funny, isn't i
o when you miss a mans NAME"
i The beII-boy returned ut this in
n teresting juncture of the proceed
ings with tue startling infornatlo
q that A. @. Jones had skipped, ba
and baggage, hook, line and SIM
n er, foot, horse and dragoonS. I'll
II clerk turned white AMI his fngt
z shook like a splinter OIL a rail
V the wind, as he suddenly wei
5. down into the safe after the Z
1t press package. lie tisled it u
e fore off tho cid and proceeded