New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1888-02-29
MR.. AND MRS. BoWsER.
The Old Man Puts Some Fire-Es-
capes in His House.

/
The other afternoon an expressman
/ delivered at the house several strange
packages, and when Mr.. Bowser came
up in the evening he explained that
they were fire escapes.
"What for"
.tFor the house, Of course
"But we don't need any fire escapes
IN our house, Mr.. Browser."
Don't we? Well, we shall have
them just the same. Ifyou want to
be burned I have no objection, but I
propose to die some other way
"You never said there was any
danger
Because I didn't want to make
you nervous. AS matter of fact. 1
haven tfelt safe any night for a year"
"And now the danger will be obvi-
! ated?'
'1It will be reduced to the minimum,
certainly. Even if we wake up and
find our bedroom on fire we shall be
able to escape with only ascorch."
After supper he carried the parcels
upstairs. There was several bottles
and couple OF wire nacks, a hand
fire extinguisher, and rope and pull
ley and other stuff.
.Where would a fire be likely to
start in the house?" asked Mr.. Bow
ser as he was fixing hook in the
casing of our bed room window.
Downstairs, probably"
/. 'sWell, we have a front and back
stairs and here are three chamber
windows opening out on veranda
roofs. Couldn't we escape by some
OF these ways?"
eff thought we could would I be
fool enough to 60 and throw away
$50 on this apparatus?" he ,angrily
demanded.
! "I-I suppose you know best"
s'Mrs. Bowser, when I don't know
best l will resign. While you have
never given the subject OF fre.escape
one single thought, l have devoted
years OF study to 1t. Take our wall
| eyed darling and 60 down stairs, and
when want you will CALL"
In about an hour he called. He was
in great good nature. He had the
hook firmly in place, and hanging to
it was a rope and some sort of har-
ness.
cit isn't much of an ornament to
our bedroom" ventured to observe.
what has ornaments got to do
with 6re-escapes? Isn't your life
worth more to you than the daily
presence OF a tea-store chrome? The
escape is now ready"
| "For what?"
''To escape by, OF course. Here is
the situation: 1t is midnight. The
cook, while rummaging about in
search OF her lost guild Of gum, has
dropped lighted matches under the
front and back stairs. The flames
have been smoldering for hours.
They now break forth with sudden
fury, cutting off our escapefrom either
! STAIRS
''And we crawl out on the veranda
roofs"
''Do we? Not much! We start to
| do SO, but we find that all the veran-
das have fallen to the ground, the
supports having been heaved out by
| the frost.'
"Well?''
s'Well, we awake with the crackle Of
! flames in our ears. While you wiring
| your hands and declare that we are
lost, [ calmly secure all the money,
iewelry and valuable papers and cool
| ly make preparations to escape. [
| ly,,1y l111 Il
ness, seat you and the baby therein,
and the next moment you are landed
on the ground I follow Just as the
engine arrives, and the papers Of the
next morning chronicle my wonderful
| self possession in the face Of awful
danger
'sAnd don't they say any thing
about me?'
.'Not word, or. if they do, it is to
remark that you were in dead
faint and your feet never looked SO
large"
and can you go down by that rope
and harness?'
"Can I? Can you cut wood with an
ak? What is it for except to 60 down
on?'
81 would almost as soon be burned
up as to try it. / don't believe you
would dare 60 down on it,
';N1rs. Bowser, what a wife believes
and what husband knows are two
different things. Is it likely I would
purchase this apparatus and put it
up here if | didn't dare use it? Shove
up that Window
"But I wouldn't try it. You are
rather clumsy you know"
Another insult! Shove up that
Window"
l put up the sash and he seated
himself in the harness, sat down on
the sill and grasped the rope over his
head, and with q look Of disdain in
his eyes he swung himself off. A wild
| howl rent the air. followed by a thud
Of something striking the earth. and |
| looked out to seesAIr. Bowser lying in
q heap below the window. I ran down
and out as quickly as possible, and
| after seven or eight minutes he was
| able to limp into the house with me.
I "Mr. BOWSeT, are Won much hllrt2"