The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1888-03-07
A HUM0RIST'S TALK
The Genial Burastles Aivies " ~ i''p''
Who Try to DO Young.
Folss who Toy to Disguise Their Years :
The Beautiful Women at FortyOne-
Afternoon OF Life-Wit and Wisdom.
Written for The sESTINEL.l
Copyrighted, 1883 J

grow old. Some people die young. But
IL may be stated as a demonstrable fact
that all people who 1--we long enough grow
old. The longer you live, the older you
grow. Some people carefully disguise the
fact, but coat Of paint on an old house
merely makes it look smart; it doesn't
keep The riekety old stairway from creak-
ing, and it won't straighten up the window.
frame that's gone little askew as the house
settles. You can-or, at least, the man
from whom / bought my last horse can
ix up an old horse of seventeen years to
look like a risky colt of three or
four, and to act it, too, for about IF.
teen minutes. But 1t won't last. There
are times when a man who Is walking
along that pleasant decade Of his pilgrim
age between the fortieth and fiftieth mile
stones feels inspired 10 run, and leap, aud
: dance. and sing and renew his youth in
various ways, but the spirit is evanescent,
and the fashion of it passeth away, and he
sayeth "of laughter, 1t is mad; and Of
mirth, What doeth it?" And he looketh
upon ''the lien singers and women singers
and the delights of the sons of men," and
behold all is vanity and vexstion OF spirit,
and there is no profit to him in that sort
of thing.
But" says a beautiful woman, "your
preaching is only for men. Now, l frankly
own to forty-ohe, and am not asham cd of
it'' (bless her, she was pretty girl in the
class above me when We went to school in
Peoria; was eleven and she was fourteen
them; land / feel just as young to day as
ever / was" Away, slight womanl Go,
hang thy tresses on the back of q chair,
and soak your pearly smiles in goblet.
IL is 10 O'Clock, get thee to bed,
and save thy eyes and spare thy wrinkles.
There now, don't cry, dear old
friend. Tears used to make your
eyes swim in melting mists OF liquid ten
derness; When you cry now it only makes
your nose red. At our age, too, when we
weep, we are apt to sniff and shuttle and
swallow audibiy. 1t is pitiful, it is Dathet-
ic, but 1t isn't pretty. Oh, dear, no. Dear
Mrs Strengthawhonor, go 10 bed; don't
sit up for Prince Lerouel. He is out With
some girls who are really and truly as
young as his mother ever was" thirty
years ago, and il he's in by O'Clock, he'll
call it early. So will the girls.
But" say you. cannot one be youn.-
hearted after forty?" Yea, beloved, after
sixty or seventy. Down to the days OF
vhite-haired old age, the heart may glow
with tenderness, and the quiet warm of
the June sunshine of yer ago stored
away III us CudUlDcIe rs ages ago the
stored his heat and light away IN the
forests of the earth, to dance and CLEAN
and glow again in merry flames and SUM-
mef warmth upon the coal.fed hearths to.
day. For this reason, oh, my young
hearers, rejoice in the days of your youth,
when the light is sweet and it
is a pleasant thing for the eyes to
cheer you in these DAYS of sunshine and
nights CT starlight, and remove anger
from thy heart, and put away evil from
thy flesh, remembering "the days of dark
ness, for they shall be many" And the
freight that will come to glow upon the
hearth and dance in warmth and tender.
ness upon the walls OF your hearts cham
bers in those days will be the light you are
storing away now. Be happy and light
hearted, then; but be the house of your
mirth as pure as temple, and your laugh.
ter as sinless as the song OF birds; in al
your mIrth and dancing, exaIt wisdom;
and, indeed, she shall bring thee to honor,
and give to thine head an ornament of
grace; then shall the years OF thy life be
many and thy heart be ever young.
Bat your physical man won't be ever
young, oh, foolish hearer, and your
thoughts went be, and your tastes won't
be- 0us on the knock kneed old squab
who wearetn the raiment OF the youthful
dude. ard will "set down his name in the
with al the characters of age.' Have
you not moist eye? dry hand? yellow
cheek? a white beard? a decreasing Leg !?
an increasing belly? Is not your voice
broken? your wind short? your chin dou-
pie? your wit siDgle?h "And will you
John!" Don't tell us you feel as young as
the youngest of 'em. Don't lie to US.
How will white hairs become fool and
jesterl"
Why. brethren, you all know this fellow.
He never wants to be with men OF his own
years. He crowds himself upon the young
sters, and speaks of 'us boys" He insists
on mskiDg lone of you" on your tramps;
breaks down the first day out, and breaks
up the party by coax1ng one or two OF
tie boys to come home with him by
train. He joiUs your hunting party. and
catches the rheumatism in every joint of
his old body the first night he sleeps in
the woods. He insists on going a-fishing
with you, and, wrath of Achillesl how
mad he is when he gets Quit He lgH play
lawn tennis, and sweet apparitioa he is
II striped jacket and knickerbockers
especially If he be quite fat and partlcu-
larly il he be rather lean and how like
tmoke he sulks, II he is beaten, as he usu.
ally is. And, oh what fool he is abou,
the girls. What an old ass he is!
There's another, not brother, in some
thirty years gone by you'd have known
her by the merriment that sparkled in har
eye. She is the good sister who feels
Just as young as ever she was" She's a
kitteDish thing, yet she'd be little more
kittenish IL she was little less elephantine.
FTisky old girl, how she does love to climb
into the swing at the picnici Weighs two
hundred and fifteen, and makes the swing
creaE like hosting tackle. Higher, Mr..
Trims Isnksl Higher Oh, higher You
can't brighten me- I'm not one OF
the scaTy sort of girls" You
bet she isn't. Has six children, and
If you'll Just mistake her for her cid
est caughter-a sweet slender girl, with an
oval face, splrituelle expression, and figure
as graceful as a swaying lily-shel II ask
you to dinner for a week. Pays "fassy
wants q corner" and Hunt the slipper"
Loves 10 "teeter" With an eighteen-foo
board you have to pull all bat about thirty
inches over to your side OF the trestle tC
make il balance. When the board II
balanced right in the middle, she can FIRE
the whole young mems Bible class up into
the sir as though they had been fired from
catapult. When her end OF the board
bangs down on the ground, il jars all the
buds OF the trees. Fond of noun
tain climbing. Usually fastens onto {
young man tn drag her up. Older brethren
too wary. They dragged her up hills Ther
she was younger. Btsides, the old yO1og-
sters retain their old time pref udics 10 IA
vor Of younger girls. They help mel
daughters up. Man never mistakes mother
for daughter going up mountain. Apt &c
make that mistake aoous luncheon tins
0uIy Eno The al al -