The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-31
No Chicago Men.
From the A,l,ansaw 7rareler

From the ATi;dnSdU Traveller
party of Chicago capitalists. prospecting in
a mountainous region Of Tennessee stopped
near log cabin and inquired of an old and
angular fellow who came forward if they could
get something to eat.
II reckon you mout, the old fellow replied
''Sorter travelling reckon
"Ye prospecting
How proSpectin':'
Looking after mining lands"
"Ah, bah. julie calling to his wifel put on a
potful of turnips an fling middlin' of meat on
the fire Jest get out, gentlemen. an tie yo
nosses thar ter the fence. Whar mout you be
frum?"
Chicago" one of the men replied
What Wall you neenter tie 20 bosses here
Say. thar julie, take the turnips outen the pot
an snatch the middlin' often the fire."
"Why, what's the matter?"
wall, I'll tell you an then you can go erbout
yo' bizness. Erbout two weeks ergo i was
workin down yander in the fiel when long
| come a Teller and axed me if could send him
over ter the railroad erbout ten miles from here
l told him that | was so powerful busy that I
could not spare my boss. Wall, said he EFF
that's the case reckon III have to skuze you
Then he tuck out pint bottle, shuck it, an
said:
"'I reckon I've got some of the slnoothest
| Ticker here you ever seed. .Ilne me-.
II turned loose my pillow han'les an lined
him Wy it was treat, All this country is
prohibition, an you KANT git a drap fur the
warmest love nur the brightest money / know
that had ter send forty miles fur er pint bottle
full ter keep in the house liz case NV sickness
an know that many a time had wanted ter
swg it but hill off on ercount of its preciousness
50 when that Teller handed me his bottle lest
opened my valve.
Don't be erfeerd NV techin it, said he fur
| am goin' whar thar's plenty mo- ter be got
Keep on helpin' yo'sef, said my friend. an
KEEP on. The birds sang pulitzer. an all at once
| noticed that a big w-legged grasshopper that
had been worryin' me all the mornin' turned
loose with the incest sort NV er clatter; an a
ole hawk that had KEEP er bad eye on er domi-
pipkar hen an chickens all 1aV dannad hix
wings an sailed away
Then opened my valve ag'in, an ame1itly
the birds in the WOODS tuck up some new songs
The dancin black gnats that had erwhile befo'
'peared ter be so ugly, now had silver on Their
wings, an er pantin' lizard that set on the fence
seemed like er thing NV beauty.
THAT'S what l call silk velvet said my
friend. l said Yes, an then opened my valve
ag' in. I thought NV my bottle NV whisky at
home. an wuz thankful that had not toch it,
"OH yander whar the blue smoke NV the
hurnn' bresh-heaps 'peared ter curl up an
meet the sky-now. hole, gentlemen, don't git
restless, fur want you ter near me clean ter
"'She's mon ha'f gone said my friend but
want YOU ter un'erstan' that er Chicago man
amt erfeerd Nv the bottom Nv nothin' Smite
her hip an thigh, ez the Bible says Wush you
could have some Teller take me over ter the
railroad said he
"'I don't know but we kin make some range
ments. says l, fur you've wound me up
"'Oh, l don't want ter put you ter no trouble
says he 'Thar's jest erbout one mo- drink in
that bottle. Finish her up Wall, finished
her, an then called my son Bill, did. Bill
says 1. 'unhitch this here boss frum the plow.
hitch him ter the carry-all, an take this here
gentleman ter the railroad
bill he done so. an that Chicago man. after
shakin' me warmly by the ham, rode away. |
went out ter the house bout tho time the sun
set.
"'Wife,' says 1. 'dinged ef dident meet the
high priest an the elder an the scribe, all in
one, Jest now
"'Wbut did he dor she axed.
II told her, an the tears come ter her eyes
fur wife has got mighty heap NV sympathy
in her natur. Vas, sab. wife she cried, and
lowed she would lack nightly ter have seed
the Teller 4 wuz erTay after dinner, she said
ur mout er seed him.
WIFE," says |, 'ben's ez this here is err
mighty fine ercasion, think we oughter open
that pint bottle NV ticker an take er couple NV
small snorts.'
WALL, she was agreeable an started ter
rummage fur the bottle, but she couldn't find
1t. J'ined in after while, an, sahs, We soon
found out that my fren'. the Chicago man, had
stole my bottle in the fust place, an had been
givin me my own Ticker. So, gentlemen, you
neenter hitch yo' bosses Say, thar julie empty
them turnips outen the pot, and snatch the mid
lin NV meat otf'n the fire."