Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1888-01-20
FULL OF FUN.

"A man in Roundout has had an
alpaca umbrella for thirty-throe years.
-"You say that you love no." said
the charming young lady to the dude.
Il do" he replied. "Then why do
you ask me to marry youP"-Boston
Courier
"A Frenchman says: When your
friend laughs 1t is for him to tell you
the cause OF his merriment; whom your
friend cries II is for you to ascertain
the reason of his grief
I'm tho local personal columns Of
the Utica (N Y. Herald, is announced
the departure for China, on pleasure
trip. Of 10 Sing and All Hum, 're-
spected members Of our celestial COM
munity."
--"Aro some letters of the alphabet
malo and some femalep'' asked Mra
Jones Of her husband. "WhY no,
dear; why do you askp" II heard q
foreign missionary speak SO ofton Of
the Malays."
-"Bridgot I tink I'll shave OF me
galways." remarked Mr.. Hoolahan,
sadly. "Why, MickyP" 'The b'ys is
beginnin TO ask mo why / don't put
tassels onto that fringe. - Washington
Critic.
just think" said Mrs. Walkin to
her modesto 'the very next day after
my now black suit was sent homo /
was called to go out Of town 10 a
funeral" 'Wasn't that nicep' was
tho absent minded reply.-Boston
Commonwealth
$50 you want 10 bO newspaper
man, do your" said the city editor.
YES, SIR" "Your last employer says
that you arc very honest and truth
full" II don't think ever told lie.
SIR" "Woll-or-don't you think yen
could learnP' Washington Critic.
Take Warning
Ifmen their wise physicians doubt,
And still persist in dining oubt,
| They'll rue the day
They have to pay
The painful penalties OF goubt.
--7ezas SJfiings
Actors wlfe-''Why so depressed.
Claudes What has como over yogp'
| Claude-"I am cast for at |;
tnS oumstanccast e mo SIN. No os,'077no II
you don't know how e TGss. &C. '7saP a.. sily
circumstances SO don't leS.s.ssqA !.
tress youP" Texas SitinqA
Distinguished foreignor-"Yos
have travelled a great deal in thl
country, and can not help wondering
why your Government docs not catcl
these train-robbers and lock them up. >
Amerioan-"Hsvo you met train rob
bera" "Plenty Of thom; they're
everywhere, it seems to me, but mus
say they are very polite for highway
men," 'PoliteP" very; and
notice too that they arc all colored
men," "Oh. those arc not train-rob-
bersi those arc portos. ~ Omaha
World.
He was at the end OF the car and
blew five loud and successive blasts on
his nose A man in the center of tho
car sprang up, located tho man, and
inquired: "Was that danger signal
or only your usual way Of blowing
your brains out2" 'lf you will get off
the car I'll whip you in two minutesl''
said tho man with the nose. as ho
turned very red. THAT settles 1t, and
sit down. No danger, ladles--all
keep your seats. 1t was one of his
usual blows. VI Earth
"A friend in the South asked
negro girl her name. Matilda" was
the answer. "But that isn't your only
name" said tho lady. Thus en-
eouraged, the girl glibly reclted:
matilda Minerva Minelva Virginia
Victoria Jane" (here memory fails me,
for my friend reported the entire num-
Der of names as eighD. At the end of
the recitation, the girl said. proudly:
my grandmother named me-" "But
haven't you any more names than
thatp" askel her mischievous inter-
rogator. Conscious of having made
fair showing, the girl was puzzled to
answer so unusual question AT last
she said. slowly: MY grandmother
dfad ~