The Irish standard., 1888-06-16

ton IN his next issue. The new editor was
in the midst of an article when Mr.. Cross,
the produce and grocery man, came in with
paper in his hand and fury in his eyes.
':See here" he reared, in voice like an
angry bull, "you've made thunderin' blum
der in our ADJ
ssWhat is it?'
"Don't you see you've spelt eggs with
two g's?" said the backwoods merchant.
"Well, isn't that corrects"
"No. it's not. If you don't know how to
spell you'd better quit tryin' to run news
paper. looked at a label which came on
one o. my boxes from st. Louis, and eggs
was spelt with one 'g.'"
"The label was wrong; here is the way
Webster spells it." And Allen turned to
his head and swore that either Webster or
the man who made out the label was wrong.
ssThat amt all neither, the ads wrong,"
he added.
Gin what respect? Let me see the adver-
tisement," said Allen, almostout of patience.
He took the paper and read: "sIhe highest
prices paid for eggs, butter and poultry at the
CHEAP qrocery store of Gross Brothers. What
is wrong about that?''
81 don't want no poultry"
"You certainly said So"
ST Jest wanted to buy chickens"
"Well, are not chickens poultry?"
"O' course they are, but poultry means
more. 1t means geese an ducks an turkeys
an pigeons. I only want chickens. Be-
sides, you had the ad way down there in
corner where no until ever see it. Can't
you put it in the center O the first pages"
sNo, it would destroy the beauty Of that
page,'' said the editor, s'but will change it
next week to suit you, and send you proof
Of it; your AL shall have good position"
It would be difficult to say whether Allen
was most amused or Disguised at the igno-
rance of some Of these backwoods business
men. Ere long he thought he began to see
some Of the causes Of the downfall of Tur-
ley's Point
Again the editor was busy with his article,
when the door opened once more. and an
old farmer wearing a broad-brimmed hat,
entered the Office.
"Why didn't we git in that piece about my
boy KILN the big rattlesnake?" he asked,
somewhat viciously.
ssIt was unavoldably crowded out,' said
Allen, getting out Of patience "Send in
your communications earlier in che week."
"Crowded out. an that snake such 8
whcpper!'' cried the irate old man. 'If yer
gwine to low important items like that to
slip, an fill up yer paper with cookin' re-
leipts, an furran news about Congress,
Yell play out purity soon, I'm thin]1in," and
the old gentleman, in no very amiable mood,
turned about and left the office.
It is not a very great exaggeration to say
THAT by evening on the day after the first
issue of the WESTERN Republic the editor felt
very much inclined to commit suicide.
After q few days he learned not to worry
at the follies of some people, and, besides,
those who annoyed him most we're greatly
in the minority. by catering TO the vanity
Of the few who are ambitious to have their
names in print, he preserved their favor,
and did not injure his circulation. Those
who were offended at being forgotten be-
came good natured on being remembered.
The more sensible offered words of encour-
ageaent to the new editor and hoped he
! would succeed. The second issue had a
short essay from Miss Hopkins, and a
shorter poem from Toney Barnes.
Allen was hard at work on the third issue
when Tom Simmons again dropped in Oh
him with q serious look OH his face
81 say, Mr.. Gray, isn't it about time you
were beginnin' to shoot some fire darts into
the enemy's camper he asked.
"What do you mean, Mr. Sinmonss' the
editor asked.
"Isn't it time you war ]ettin' the enemy
know We war here: That is, come out, show
yer colors an fire away on 'ena. Give the
Democrats fits. Hold 'em up to contempt
and say something smart about me, ye
know; that I'd make good member Of the
Legislature.H
81 fear it's little too early for that 1t
! would certainly endanger your cause"
1--we think it raley Would:"
ct know it,
ssThen don't by any means hint such
thing.''
By promising to act fair in the future he
disposed Of the politician for the time being.
But he was scarcely gone before Mr.. George
Strong entered to caution him not to be TOO
intimate with Tom Simmons.
ssHe's got no standin' here, anil ruin any
business. By the way, Mr. Gray he
added. in an undertone, "it's a good bit off
yet, but next election I've bout made up my
! mind to run for sheriff on the Dimicratic
ticket expect the Western Republic to sup
port me.''
Allen Gray found himself liable to get in
position which politicians term riding two
horses going in different directions at the
same time. Gould he support Republican
for the Legislature and Democrat for
SQ6rLH? DuG GO1Q Ills 1CAAOC4 elAo A11SASas
as he had advised his Republican friend,
to wait future developments. Mr.. Strong
smiled and said may be it was hest, but took
occasion to remark that Of course he would
not have donated cent had he not felt as
sured that the paper would come to his aid
in the hour Of need With jealous politicians,
unskilled business advertisers and rival
poets. the new editor found himself getting
into seri01,s combinations
When Strong was gone, Toney Barnes,
who had been walking back and forth in
front of the Office window, casting anxious
looks inside for the last half hour, en-
tered.
"Wel, what is ita' Allen asked, fearing
another volley Of MS.
"Wasn't that an awful piece Miss Hop
lxins had in the paper last week about love.
I'd be ashamed to write any thing like it.'
sob, it was pretty fair"
s'D'you think so! Well, that may do, but
I'd advise you to have nothing to do with
Miss Hopkins writins. She can't write
any thing that will be acceptable with the
public. If you want essays or stories, III
write 'em for you; but she will be sure to
! ruin the paper"
Next day, as Allen was in the midst of