davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20
Sham Sickne 50 Detected.

Col Bevier of the Confederate army relates
that his surgeon came to him one day, saying
that he had l15 men ON the sick list. Many oil
them were believed to be playing sick, and the
Colonel and the surgeon agreed upon a course
Of treatment The result showed that what.
ever progress may have been made in the
science of medicine, nothing is more effective in
many cases than a certain very simple and old.
fashioned remedy.
Next morning at roll call had the sergeant
ma jor form the sick in double file and march
them to the doctors quarters where he stood
ready with bucket of castor oil in one hand, a
tabesoon in the other aud his sleeves rolled uD.
one hundred and eighty-two sturdy invalids In
open ranks were before him, and the sole IN
preparations had attracted so much attention
that half the brigade were present to see the
fun.
The doctor grayely approached the head of
the line.
well, Brown, what ails you this morning 80
"Oh, doctor, | have such nervous head.
acheH'
II think dose Of castor oil will help YOU -
and with a wry face, amid the shouts of his
comrades, Brown took 1t.
Mullins are You Sicks''
Yes doctor; have the plumbago."
Castor oil is the very thing for that" said
the doctor, with an audible smile, and Mullins
Halo, Melton! What's the matter with
your"
Collie" said Melton. feehly.
"Bad?" asked the doctor
Not very. / don't need any OIL"
you must take this, said the doctor, unless
You are well enough 70 20 back to duty"
I'll 90 back then. " mtrnured Melton, look
Ing round apprehensiyely.
"Adjutant said, put him on double guard
for Shammiug.
Thus the issue was clearly defined, castor oil
or double duty, and quite number of them &C.
cepted the latter. The fun among the outsiders
WAS uproarious; bad jokes few thick aud fast
The curative properties of castor oil borderei
upon the marvellous for next morning not over
atty men were reported on the sick list.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20
How a Youthful Maiden Shipped as
Cabin Boy to Meet Her Lover.
From the San Ffoncisco Ernmir

HfOHt Tue LotLft pTttItCtSCO Examiner.
Capt Robert Crombie. of the British ship Port
jackson, which recently sailed for Newcastle
New South Wales, related rather an extraordi-
nary story to some of his friends during his stay
in this port on his last trip. He says that the
first trip he made out of Aberdeen he took with
him cabin boy who had approached him before
sailing and pleaded for the position. The Cap
tain did not want him, but owing to his persist
ence the youth was received on board, as he said
that he was determined to 40 to Australia, the
destination of the ship. An engagement was
made, and the cabin boy was taken along Soon
after arriving in Australia the boy deserted
Nothing more was heard of him until the Cap
tain arrived in this city. While driving in
Golden Park he came upon handsome couple
in an elegant turnout. The lady recognized
him.
Captain, I was your cabin boy. Don't you
remember me?" she asked.
'Of course" replied the Captain, stammer-
ingly.
This is my husband, Count Wig Koltz."
In chorus they added: I'VE thank you for your
kindness, " and rode off.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20
INDEX TO new ADVERTISEMENTS.

MEETfNGs-The Chatham Mutual Loan Asso-
citation; Branch Az Order of the Iron Hall; Skid
away Shell Road Company.
SPECIAL NoTICEs-To Water Takers; Ordi-
nance; Bananas, oranges, etc, J. S. Collins &
Co.
EMPIRE STEAM LAUNDRY-l09 Broughton street.
AUCTION SALE-Unclaimed Freight, Sayan-
nah, Florida and Western Railway, by l. d. La
Roche's Sons; Horses, Mules etc, by Rob
ert H. Tatem.
LEGAL NoTIcE-Petition for Incorporation of
tie Southside Land and Improvement Com
pany.
STEAMSHIP SCHEDULES Ocean Steamship Co. ;
Baltimore Steamship Co.
CHEAP COLUMN ADvERTIsEMESTs-HelpW Want
ed Employment Wanted; For Rent; For Sale;
Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20
The Romance of Welded Life.
From the Boston Courier.

James, dear, will you bring me up bod of
coal from the CELLAR" said a busy wife
That's just the way with you" said James
with black frown. as he put down his book and
rose up from the lounge.
Just the way with me?''
Yes, he snapped. "As soon as you see me
enjoying myself, you have some chore or an
other for me to do. Didn't you see l was alb.
sorbed in my reading?"
Well dear, | will do il myself"
'l es. and tell everybody, your mother es
pecially, that you will have to carry your own
coal up from the cellar. No, I'll do it, Let me
mark my place"
So he marked the place in the book at which
he had ceased reading and when he went down
to the cellar, grumbling all the way, she picked
up the volume and found it was a love story and
that the passage he had been absorbed in was
as follows: My darling, when you are my wife
| will shield and protect you from every care
the winds of heaven shall not visit your face toe
roughly, those pretty hands shall never be soiled
by mental tasks, your wish shall be my law
your happiness"
Just Their he reappeared, and dumping the
bod on the floor said: There's your darned
coal Give me my book"
Is life worth livingI
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20
Nothing Crazy About Him.
From Teras Siftinos.


John McLennan, an impecunious citizen of
Austin, was supposed to be crazy, and his rela-
tives brought him before the County Court to
have lunatico inquirendo jury to pass on his
mental condition, his delusion being that ne
was very rich. A lawyer proceeded to ask the
crazy man questions to test his sanity.
Il hear you are going to build $4,000 resi-
dence?"
1T is going to cost me 100000"
You don't say so"
Yes, and | am going to start daily paper
with $3.50 900 capital. That's mere trifle for a
man of my means"
You seem to have so much money, perhaps
you would not object to lending me ten dol
lars?"
I'D like to do it, Judge, but that would be
such risky investment everybody would sus-
pect me of being crazy"
The refusal of the supposed lunatic to seri-
ously entertain the idea Of lending money to an
Austin lawyer caused the jury to decide that
ulties
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20
The Southern Girl.

From the Montgomery advertiser
Her dimpled cheeks are pale,
She's lily of the vale,
Not a rose.
In a muslin or a lawn,
She is fairer than the dawn,
To her beaux.
Her boots are thin and neat,
She is vain about her feet,
II is said.
She amputates her RS,
But her eyes are like the stars,
Overhead.
On balcony at night,
With tieecy cloud of white,
Round her hair.
Her grace, all, who could paint,
She would fascinate a saint,
Id'clare.
IT'S n matter of regret,
She's bit of a coquette,
Whom | sing.
On her cruel path she goes,
With half a dozen beaux,
On her string.
But let that all pass by,
And her maiden moments fly,
Dew empearled.
Whom she marries, on my life.
She will make the dearest wife,
In the world.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20
Wanted to Pay the Debt in Pennies.

1t is related of Joe willard the Washin gton
hotel man. that upon one occasion some years
since man got Judgment against him for
debt that Zoe cl1imed lie didn't owe Resolving
to get even with his persecut +. Joe ped
together all the pennies he could get hold Of
and presented them in part payment of the
debt There Were about $500 worth of the pen
MES, and ii took a darKey with push to
carry them to the creditor Joe thought he had
scored point on his enemy until the latter
sprung upon him the law showing the maxi
tender TO be but &c Joe had to cart back the
pennies and pay the man in genuine coin of the
realm. 1t is said that Joe still has the pennies,
no one being inclined to take them off his
hands
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20
A MOTHERS CARE.
The Health Of Her Children
PenbIe's Medicated SOAP

Keeps the skin SOFT white and free from Cuta.
neouS Diseases.
The PembIe dedicated Soap Co.:
GENTLEMEN-l take pleasure in stating that |
and Rash among infants and children, and have
found it wonderfully effective 1t is a splendid
preparation. B. F. MASON, McRae, Ga
The Pemble MedtcGted Soap Co.:
GENTLEMEN-I take pleasure in stating that
have used your Soap in washing the heads of my
children, and found it removed all scabs, dand
ruff and pimples leaving their heads perfectly
clean in every sense of the word. | cheerfully
recommend it, JAKE BELSINGER
Savannah, Ga.
Sold by all Druggists. Price 25c.
THE PEMBLE INDICATED SOAP COMPANY,
SAVANNAH, GA
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20

ut Is claimed" says the Munufac.
turei'S Record, that the recent de-
cline in cotton cost the South at
least $l,000,000 through the losses of
spectators. How much better it would
have been for these SPECTATORS and for the
South if that money had been invested in
industrial enterprises" The point made bv
the Record is a good one. a very large per-
centage of the net earnings of the South
annually 60 into the pockets of the manipu-
lators of cotton futures in New York Let
SouthernerS do less specializing in cotton
futures anG planters make less cotton and
more corn, and the South will get rich
much faster
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20
Bco..fered at The Post Office IL, savuan an.


~
The MoRv1xa News is published every day in
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The SUNDAY NEWS, BY mad, one year, So co.
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Tency sent by mail at risk Of senders
This paper is kept on file and advertising rates
may be ascertained Mt the Office of the Ameri-
cen Newspaper Publishers Association, lOl
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Letters and kilograms should be addressed
'MnRNIHG Nrws, Savannah, Ga
Advertising rates made known on application
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20

"A EEP YOUR EYE OPEN if you would
not be victimized by imposters and frauds
who are flooding the market with worthless im-
tations of Benson's Plaster. These pirates"
who seek to float their worthless products on the
reputation of Benson's Plaster resort to
many tricks for which their class is famous and
If buyers are not exceedingly cautious they fire.
quently find themselves victimized by unscrupE
lous dealers who aid and abet in such deception
for a division Of the profits Honest dealers
will unite with physicians in Recommending
Benson's Plaster as superior to all Other
external remedies for coughs, colds, pleursy
chest pains, backache, kidney affections, ma
laria, rheumatism, sciatica, lumbago and aches
and pains of every description
SEABURY & JOHNSON,
Sole Mann actIIt.ncs. NnIr Work
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20

1t is gre tifying TO note the remarkable
enterprise displayed by the New Yort g,
Philadelphia and Boston papers during last
weeks storm, when Geographic communi-
cation was considerably cut off. 1t appears,
from the different articles they print ON the
subject, that each paper dis,anced its rivals
IN obtaining news under difficulties. The
Observation may be made that all of them
were devoid Of outside news Of interest
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20
Cleveland's Youtt full Days.

TFONL NE NeW lOTK FeTuIu VIhu.J
He was not unlike other boys in his love of
mud pies marbles and perhaps mischief. Emer-
son used to say that the bad boys make the
strongest men, which is another way of saying
that if boy has such an abundance Of vitality
that he has TO let off his steam in pranks he is
likely to utilize tina vitality later on for better
purpose. Young Cleveland had a good deal of
this sort of energy, and could throw a stone at
a chicken with the best of his playfellows.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20

Massachusetts, is not very enthusiastic
Blaine State, If the opinions of her leglsa-
tors are to be accepted as an indication, but
she is solid for Cleveland OF the Republi-
can members who were askcl for their
preferences only half were for Blaine
Among the Democrats there was not a dis
senting voice agains; Cleveland Massachu-
sets may cover herself with glory next fall
Put your ear to the ground and you will
hear rumblings in that direction.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20

Senator Ingalls, letter to Gen. Finley An
derson, which is said by the dispatches to
be intended to joke the public, is as follows:
SIR have the honor to acknowledge
the receipt Of your favor of the l4th inst.
As brevity is the soul of wit this letter
must be very funny, but perhaps it would
have been better for Mr., ingalls, if he had
added a line saying he made a mistake in
attempting to blacken the memory of Gen.
Hancock
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20

Gen Banks, of Massachusetts, will prob
ably have to relinquish the United States
Marshalship which he now holds. Tn e
Boston papers say tine President has about
determined to nominate Democrat in his
stead
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20

As late as last July Senator Sherman said
TO the delegates OF All Ohio convention
my countrymen, tell you with all frank
ness that / think more of your unanimous
praise this day uttered than | do of the
Office of President of the United States ~
Rather funny COW, isn't it, when the Sena-
tor is known to be willing to contribute as
the pomneef
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20

A Republican paper anxiously inquiries if
Mr.. Blaine could be induced to accept a
nomination. 1t may be stated that Mr..
Blaine has not made known to any one in
this immediate section whether he could or
not, but the belief that he could is strength
ened by the fact that he has never said he
would refuse The paper in question may
proceed upon the assumption that he could.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20

Bangor, Me-, is stirred to its depths upon
the question of standard and local time,
and municipal campaign involving that
question as an issue has begun. One
standard time, while the other favorS local
The chances are that the standard time
candidate viii win. The same sort of a
campaign may be inaugurated here if the
city fathers insist on keeping the people
annoyed by two kinds OF time
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20

Milton j. Barlow, the popular minstrel
who has languished in Jail for some time
through some trouble with his divorced
wife, was set free the other day, and cele-
brated his release by remarrying Wife No.
2was Miss Lillian Hall, a comic opera singer.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20

Miss Molie Garfield, the daughter of the
late President Garfield, is to marry her
fathers former private secretary, j. Stanley
Brown. The announcement is made on
Mrs. Garfield's authority. She, however,
doe not think there will be double we'd
ding in the family.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20

The Philadelphia Press yields an I'M
gracious consent for Congress to pay Mrs.
Hendricks the salary for the full term of
the late Vice President. Suppose the Vice
Presidents name had been Logan, how
would the Press feel about giving his salary
To his widow
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20

An Ohio paper declares that it was "a
conspiracy of cranks and streak of frauds
and fools" that defeated Mr.. Blaine in 1884.
Was it. Then Burchard no longer has &C
casion to be unhappy.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20
A Dissenting View.

from the Boston Globe tDem)
People have been saying good words of the
new Emperor Frederick, as a ruler with ex
ceptionally broad and liberal views; but his
inaugural address, should call it over
here, shows him 10 be pretty much of piece
with other emperors. If Germany wants
good ruler She had better rule herself
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20
To the South's Credit.

From the Philadelphia Press (Rep1
The South has increased its corn acreage
since 1850 10000 acres, or one-half of tine en-
tire increase in the acreage Of corn since then
which explains why so many roads running
East and West, north of the Ohio. which ono,
carried corn are running light Just now
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20

The information is telegraphed from
Washington that Minister Phelps has no in
tention of resigning. The anti Bayard
papers will have to resign themselves to the
situation
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20

Mr.. George Bancroft, the venerable his
torian, is in mis- SSth year, and every year
of his life has added to his wisdom He
wants Mr.. Cleveland to have another term.
The President, he says, has made no mis-
takes, and his greatest success was his mar
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20

Mrs. Anastasia ParsellS, of New York.
who has just celebrated her l03d birthday,
did not see Washington, but she saw his
funeral procession, and she thinks the father
of his country was somewhere in the neigh
borhood. The powers of ratiocination of
this venerable lady are truly remarkable.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20
CURRENT COMMENr r.
Big and Little Steals.

From the Neto Yors Graphic (Tytd)
Mr.. Sharp-Mr. Jacob Sharp-is in town. He
has been taking a much needed recreation at
his country seat. Mr. Bill Jones is still in the
Tombs for stealing ham.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20

A Boston paper notes the rumor that
Senator Brown will vote for the Mills bill
if it comes before the Senate. This is inter
esting as a rumor, but not to be trusted as
a fact
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20
The Morning News in the City.

All subscriptions payable in advance, and
no paper will be delivered beyond the time
paid for. Special attention will be given to
Weekly and Monthly subscriptions, and
subscribers can make arrangements, if they
desire, to pay subscriptions at their resi-
dences, or places of business avoiding the
Inconvenience of calling at the Business
Office.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20

The President was 81 years old Sunday
He appears to be in the prime of life
Doubtless the insurance companies would
be willing to issue a few more policies to
him
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20

The opponents of Judge Gresham assert
that he voted for Mr. Tilden in 1876. Judge
Gresham will hardly be nominated. He is
too good for his party.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20

Let Minister Bragg be on his guard. A
banquet is to be given him tomorrow in
Mexico and he is not a Kentuckian.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20

Mr.. Eugene Higgins, Of Maryland, is
not forgotten by the Republicans. They
continue to let fly their little shafts at him
king Of the lobby that hangs around the
State house at Annapolis, and is having a
good time Any man who can bother the
Republicans as Higgins does deserves the
smiles Of fortune.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20
Y description,

SEABURY & JOHNSON,
Sole Manufacturers. New York
Sacramento daily record-union., 1888-12-04
PALACE RESTAURANT,
300 K Street,

D N. DEAN, PROPRIETOR. EVERYTHING
IL bright, new and hrst-class. The table will
be supplied with the best in the market. Private
rooms for families Prices reasonable. Open
Sacramento daily record-union., 1888-12-04
Proposals for Bonds.

SEALED PROPOSALS WILL BE RECEIVED
~ by the Board of Directors of the Browns
Valley Irrigation District for the purchase of
the bonds of said district at any time after the
date of this notice. and until the 14th day of De-
| cember, 1888, at l o'clock P N. of said day, at
the Office of said Board, at the town of Browns
Valley, county of Yuba State of California
Said bonds are issued under and in pursuance
of an Act of the Legislature of the State of
California, entitled " An Act to provide for the
organization and government of Irrigation Dis
| tricts, and to provide for the acquisition of
water and other property, and for the distribu-
ton of water thereby for irrigation purposes"
approved March 7, 1887.
Three hundred of such bonds will be of the
denomination of s1oO each; one hundred and
sixty of such bonds will be of the denomination
of $500 each.
Said bonds will be of the form prescribed in
Section 15 of said Act, and bear six per cent in
terest, interest payable semi-annually.
None of said bonds will be sold for less than
ninety per cent. of the face value thereof
Said proposals will be opened at said time and
place. and the purchase will be awarded to the
highest responsible bidder.
Said Board reserves the right to reject any
and all bids.
ANY further information respecting said
bonds may be had on application to B. B. Cur
ney, Secretary Of said Board, postoffice address,
Browns Valley, Yuba county, California, or T.
J. Hilbert. President of said Board, postofice
address, Browns Valley, Yuba county, Cali
fornis.
Done by order of the Board Of Directors of
Browns Valley Irrigation District this 25th day
Of October 1888.
T. ]. HILBERT, President.
B. B. GuRNEY, Secretary. nl4-2Ot
Sacramento daily record-union., 1888-12-04
Give Them a Chance.

That is to say, your lungs. Also all your
breathing machinery. Very wonderful ma
chinery it is. Not only the larger air pas
sages, but the thousands of little tubes and
cavities leading from them.
When these are clogged and choked with
matter which ought not to be there, your
lungs cannot half do their work. And
what they do they cannot do well.
Call II cold, cough, Group, pneumonia
catarrh, consumption or anv of the family
of throat and nose and head and lung OBJ
structions, all are bad. All ought to be got
rid of. There is just one sure way to get
rid of them. That is TO take Boschee's
German Syrup, which any druggist will
sell you at IS cents bottle. Even if eyery-
thing else has failed you, you may depend
upon this for certain.
Sacramento daily record-union., 1888-12-04
AMERICAN EXCHANGE

HOTEL, 3I9-325 SANSOAE ST. foNE DOOR
from Bank of California;. San Francisco,
Cal. Board and Room. 81, 81 25 and 81 50 per
day. Free Coach to and from the Hotel.
Montgomery Bros. To23-tf Pronrfetorr
Sacramento daily record-union., 1888-12-04
rae RAILRoAp ouEsrIoN.

The adjustment of the relations between
the Government and the railroad compa-
MES which have received land grants and
the guaranty of the public credit in aid of
the construction Of their roads, should re-
ceive early attention. The report of the
majority of the Commissioners appointed
to examine the affairs and indebtedness of
these roads, in which they favor an extern
sion of the time for the payment of such
Indebtedness in at least one case where the
corporation appears to be unable to comply
with the we'll guarded and exact terms of
such extension ard the reinforcement of
their opinion by gentlemen Of undoubted
business judgment and experience, ap-
pointed to protect the interests of the Gov
ernment as Directors of said corporation,
may well lead to the belief that such an
extension would be to the advantage of
the Government The subject should be
treated as a business proposition, with a
new and final realization of its indebted
ness, by the Government, rather than as a
question to be decided upon prejudice or
by may of punishment for previous wrong
doing.
Sacramento daily record-union., 1888-12-04
WESTERN HOTEL
PACIFIC HOTEL,
THE SADDLE ROCK
RESTAURANT AID OYSTER HOUSE,.

EuRST-CLAs HOUSE IN EVERY RESPECT.
l. Ladies Dining-Toom separate. Open day
and night. BUCKMANE d CARRAGHE2, Pro-
Sacramento. II