St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-04
Trials Of Conductors and Grip
men With Persistent Pas
sengerS.
Fares Registered by Those
Anxious to Stop Near
Their Homes.
An IndiaR and a Dude Badly
Mixed on the Indi-
Gator.
Won't Keep Still Until a Stop
Q Is Effected and Avoid
Trouble.


If there are many people who think
that all of the funny scenes and rldlcu-
lous incidents must necessarily be en-
acted at the Grand opera house by some
renowned minstrel troupe; OF that all
the earthly freaks and blooming idiots
are confined within the dingy walls OF
the dime museum, let them take a
ride on cable car and learn how
grossly in error they are.
Probably of all things, next to to-
boggan slide, that 90 to make up the es-
sential features of thriving city,
which in themselves are great source
of varied incident and in many cases
rare amusement, is cable line, and the
bold exposition of the peculiarities of
its patrons. A cable car can be taken
to be the synonym Of a theater one min
ute and sleeping car the next; or a
hotel lobby where strangers meet
to part not long after, and to ask the
clerk, in the form of the ever good nat
ured and considerable conductor, all
sorts of questions that would provoke
the laugh of a Cato, or the pity of a
heather. An arrangement wherein his
''rural dignity may exercise his in
genious brain, learning the why's and
Wherefores'' sef such machine; and
then go back TO his estate, so innocent
of mans invention and worlds neces-
sity. aside from the product of its own
stony bed; and tell his dear old Maria
of the hazardous risk aid daring ex-
plot on one of them trains which goes
like the telephone" A retreat for the
cane-incumbered dude, who in his
frantic efforts to get on and off so
neatly makes dishrag of his borrowed
pot-hat, and jams his frame, pregnated
with the essence of VANITY Fair" up
against the post just back of the seat
he aimed to drop into without any bad
breaks, where, after learning to his
utter disgust that the :ladies were all in
the coach. and. that he, in his usual
furry, had planted himself alongside of
A GRIsLY; HoD-CARRIER.
gets up out of his unpleasant position,
climbs all around the outside of the
grip, amid the mental curses of all on
board, and after an elegant display OF
his agility lands Oh some lady'S bunlOn
with "a foot on it aaidlcreates sensation
that at once introduces him to all the
passengers; then sinks down on the
SCdt USthOCn iuC SpQSlOuO vi
the hustle of heavyweight and that of
a Miss Slimjimsby, whom he has Just
recognized without her authority, and
at last finds himself where his first in
tentionS directed. A place where good
and bad, black and white alike, by
putting nickel. not into the slot, but
in the conductors hand, can ride and
endure the eccentrictieS of the good
company of those about them. Where
a brute of a man can sit to the wind
ward of a sweet widow ard blow a
volume of smoke iTleo her face that
stamps him at once Unmarried ma with
no more regard for the fair ex than for
bar bill; and. in fact, where people of
all shapes, forms and, descriptions. by
virtue of their unWillingness to eXer-
else ''shanks' pony" must necessarily
comesin contact with each other. be it
pleasant or otherwise. Not that St.
Paul has an especially funny populace,
for st. Peter would diSprove that on
short notice. but that it is composed of
as many different elements as other
cities of its size. AS natural sequence,
such a conglomeration of humanity,
each sect with its peculiar characters
tics, tends to break the monotony that
marks the constitution of people of
the same order.
We're they all Indians Or Turks, they
would only appear as Indians and Turks
do. Here it is different; not only does
it seem that there are members of the
tribes just mentioned, but myriad of
they belong to the human race, yet it
would be harder than Saving wood''
to classify some of the dear people,
who -
RIDE ON THE CABLE CARS.
If all the cable car conductors would
conSpire to write book about what
they see and hear Oh their trains it
would be compilation of the most ri
diculous, thOughtlesS and n0nsenSical
sayings, and an exposition of the most
ludicrOus attitudes and scenes that
could be imagined. Why, right here on
our own cable ust see what those poor
s'conS" and gripmen have to listen to
and put mp with, The first thing they
had to do after the cable commenced
running was to commit murder on that
dog, who persisted in following the
trains day and night ana attempting to
eat people as they got on and off.
That dog is now chasing cables
in another cline; but was not
much worse than the; absent-minded III
diVidual who to thlSiYery day Will insist
upon registering the fare for the con.
ductor. The kindness, although be-
You'd the appreciation of the company
Should have by this time relented; but
it seems the oftener the conductor is
charged up with the extra fares that are
daily registered blythe idiots who yanE
the rope not intended for their def
clutches, the more ardent they become
in their desires to bestow this grateful
bit of help upon him.
You may think it strange that the
cord is where you can reach it, and still
not be there for your manipulation. II
is true its there for purpose. but so is
the conductor, and, instead of doing as
Mrs. McFlagerty did the other day
when, in her anxiety to get off i'll the
middle of the block, she jerked thai
poor rope until. before the grip
could get at her to hoit
her down, she had nearly expended 6
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