The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1888-07-18
BILL NYE ON posrMAsrERs.

BILL NYE ON PosTMAsTERs.
He Used to Be One Himself, and He
Knows the Ropes.
(Erom the New York WORLDLY
The New York postofice is large,
dignifed building, situated right where
the eroads fork; being the place where you
turn off to the right from the mann
travelled road in order to get to the
bridge. 1t is used partly for postoflce
and partly for court house, so that one
end Of the building practically pays the
expenses of the other end. A self sup
porting postoffce and court house here,
where competition is hot and rents high,
would naturally show that times are good
and money plenty.
Mail comes here from all foreign
countries and Europe also. 1t is dlstrl-
buted at once, and one is permitted to
mail a letter at any time, day or night.
It's wonderful. In tall buildings now
there is an arrangement by which one
may shoot his letters into runaway or
Aume, and they will be carried into .
United States mail box on the ground
floor, where trustworthy young man N
a speckled straw helmet comes and ILLS
his vaGse with them, after which he
carries them away to the postofice and
personally uses his influence with the
postmaster to have them sent away by the
early train.
I stood near the small box at the
bottom of the chute in the Standard Oil
building the other day, and I remained
there 10 or Is minutes I counted forty
nine letters as they were laid, one by one,
hot from the cracking typewriters above,
and all no doubt reeking with the bloody
and startling statement, coming like q
peel of thunder from an unpeeled SKY,
ssDear Sir-Your esteemed favor Of the
til inst. (or ult. or prox.) is before me.
In reply would say" etc. There's just
about as much use in this opening as
there would be in stating that "We take
our pen in hand, or in opening prayer
by reading the minutes Of the previous
meeting.
The New York postofice is directly
connected with the dead letter Office at
Washington, and those who have never
corresponded with that prosperous
morgue have missed good deal.
The dead letter Office is, after all, q
great boon, though it does not return
some things which reach it. A man IN
Saginaw, Mich, mailed pair of dress
shields by mistake which be had bought
for his wife, and though that was two
years ago come July they have never
been returned. Another man In Nash
vile, Tenn, enormously mailed 9
porous plaster which was slmost as good
rs new, and though he has threatened to
90 down there to Washington and lden-
tify it and expose the whole system OF
the dead letter Office till he got his prop
erty back, nothing as yet been done
about it.
Ten years sgo, even, there we're 5000,
900 letters sent to the dead letter Office
in one year, of which $1,000 had no
county or state, 400, 900 lacked stamps,
and 5000 were posted without any ad-
dress at all. Ninety-two thousand dol
lars in cash and over s., GOO, 600 in drafts
! were contained in these letters. It ap-
pears that right straight through every
letter sent to the dead letter ofiice con-
tains on an average 81, so mine really
fell below the average.
Queer things happen to letters even
when they do not get to Washington.
| A Wyoming postmaster used to claim
that circular letters, unsealed, If not
called for with day or two, were good
things to use in starting the fire. He
therefore kepta coal hod near the general
delivery, which constituted little private
dead letter Office for his own special use.
One day his children were playing tag
with each other inside the postofice and
canceling each others nose with the NJ.
o. B. stamp, when suddenly they deci'
ded to investigate the coal hod in search
of advertising cards. In each Of the two
large circular envelopes they found q
smaller sealed letter which had worked
in by showing large mass of letters to-
gether for cancellation. The children
had torn these two letters open and were
playing Fourth of July and Rally Round
the Flag, Boys, with q S79 check and q
$500 draft when the old gentleman looked
up. Justice compels me to say, however,
that he spanked the children soundly for
his carelessness and refused to let them
| have fun with his dead letter Office after
that.
BILL NyE.
P. S.-Sinee the above was written a
| white woman's scalp has been received
| at the dead letter Office. The lady, in an
absent minded way, forgot to mail her
self, and according to the rules OF the
Office she cannot now recover it.
B. n.
DIR. Tanners Rival.
RACINE, Wis, July 10.-A large num-
Der of people visited John Zschar, the Cal