Morning journal and courier., 1888-07-11
ALLOW.

Old lady (to'convict)-"Do they allow you to read the Bible, my poor mani" Convict (bitterly) Madam, they make me read it. , New York Sun. There never was woman yet who ever bought box of berries from hawker with. out calling from the window, "Are they goodf'-Somervile Journal. "Young man, life is but span" stYes, sir, but that only lasts while you are engaged. One horse will do after mar. riage. ."-Burlington Free Press. Hostess-Mr. Highcollar, do you knoH whether Mir. Tomandjerry dances the reeli Mir. Highcollar-Cawnt say = know hs walks it considerable. Burlington Free Press.
 Said a leather merchant the other day: ''Ii it didn't look like making game of the hide market should say there's more hide than seek there now. w."-Shoe- and Leather Re porter.
 ssDevilled crabsa" said the horri6ed waiter at a Lake Chatauqua eating house. ooh, dear, no We couldn't give you anything of that kind, siri Won't you have some angel cake instead49-C Chicago Tribune.
 ''Get yourself full of your subject" said the professor. ''Saturate yourself with it, then your essay will write itself"
 'Yes, know, professor" '" said Mrs. Cold spring, :tbut my essay is on Rum, the cause Of It. t.'"-Burdette. Chollie-oh, guls, why is A vehwy un- fashionable lettah, don't you know? Girls-Give it up. Please tell us.
 Chollie-Because, don't you know, it is in twade.
 All-Hal hal How cleYahi-Washingto
 Critic.
 Friend to candidate-'s Did you see your
 picture in this mornings paper?" Candi- date (horri6ed} }-stWhatl that thing mel Why, cut it ont and sent it to the Comic Weekly as the missing link Heavens and earthl Why didn't stop to read that plate matter2"-Burlington Free Press. Mistress-Did you tell those ladies I was out, Bridgeta
 Bridget-Yis, num- Mistress-Did they say anythings Bridget-Yis, wan sed to the other, "l didn't s'pose we'd find her in; she's on ths strates most av the time. .'-New York Sun Nervous sFears.-Brown-fsIs your family having pleasant time in the country, Robin 1 sons" Robinson (who is having pleasant | time in the city)-HYesh; m wife writes m ! enjoying themshelves very mush. She shay she's nervous f fear will drink too musl | ish water" Brown-"She must be constitu ! tionally nervous, Robinson" D. Life. 'Is there anything new under the suni l asked Rollo, as he closed his book. "Yes, l said his Uncle George, revenue" "I would be to some people," said Rollo'
 mother with quiet but womanly severity l And Ro1lo's Uncle George softly whistled l fragment of two or three tunes and went ou l to see if the next frost had killed any of tn July roses.-Burdette. l eDear, dear," said kind-hearted matrol I on meeting friend whom she had not seel i for long time; "dear, dear, and you're no l yet married, Jane. and with your good look l tool"
 "No, Pm single yet" replied Jane with | pleasant laugh.
 "WelI," replied Jane, with twinkle c
 her eye, 'T expect, like Topsy, I was bor so "-Courier.
 Wiser than he looked.-Miss Priscilla Jib
 -s'In Boston, you know, Mr. Swift, we at
 tach more importance to blood than you d at the Vest"
 MT. Swift (of Chicago)-"Ohi on the con
 trary, Miss Jibb, we consider it of the frs
 importance, particularly in the spring of th l year. r.n-Life.