The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1888-02-10
ARMsrRoNa's LESSON


olden days of gold, or the golden days
of old, as you please-in a certain
miners camp on Yuba River there
lived aqueer genius named Armstrong.
He was an honest miner, not differing
materially from his fellows excepting
that he had curious habit OF talking
to himself. From the simple reason
that he departed from the common
custom in this one particular he was
OF course voted crazy by the other
miners. To call all persons "crazy"
who do not follow the customs of the
majority is a constant habit with
men. But day after day Armstrong
worked away with his pick and SHOW.
Ell, caring nothing tor the remarks OF
his neighbours, and seeming to wish for
no partner in his tolls or rest save the
invisible parsonage whom he always
addressed IN the second peron singular,
aud with whom he was almost In
close and earnest conversation. This
drift OF his talk while at work would
be as follows:
"Rather tough work, Armstrong
rich dirt, thouch-grub 81 a pound
no time to waste-pitch in, sir-hang-
ed if don't wish was in the States.
This INNINGS mighty hard work.
Nonsense, Armstrong; what q fool
you are to be talking that way, with
three ounces day right under your
feet, and nothing to do but Just to dig
it out"
His conversation would be duly
punctuated with strokes of the pick
and lifts of the loaded shovel. And
SO the days would pass along, and
Armstrong worked and slept and
talked with his invisible partner.
Well, it happened in due course OF
time that the class OF human vampire
commonly called gamblers made their
appearance at the camp where Arm.
strong had been working. AS he was
not above following the example OF
his fellows. he paid the newcomers q
visit. 1t is the same old story. After
watching the game awhile he conclud.
ed it was the simplest thing in the
world. So lie tried his luck and won
500! Now. any new experience would
set Armstrong to thinking and talk
ing to himself worse than ever. 1t
was so this time. "Now, Armstrong"
he said, rs he hesitated about going
to work the next morning. chat is
the easiest 800 you ever made in
your life. What's the Use OF your 60.
ing into q hole in the ground to dig
tor three ounces day? The fact is,
Armstrong, you are sharp. You are
not made for this kind OF work. Sup.
rose you just throw away your pick
and shovel, leave the mines, buy
suit OF store clothes, dress up like
born gentleman, and 20 at some bust
ness that suits your talent"
Armstrong was not long in putting
these thoughts and sayings into &C.
ton. He left the dig,ings and invest.
ed in fine clothes. lie looked like an.
other man, bnt he was still the same
Armstrong, nevertheless. He was not
long in finding an opportunity to try
Els resR oast he hSdf st co t9rIad
a long talk with himself about his
bright prospects when he halted in
front Of q large tent with sigh over
it, miners Rest" Armstrong went
in. 1t did not seem to him that he
remained very long, but it was
long enough to work a wonderful
revolution in hts feelings. When he
came out he was a changed man-that
is to say, he was q "changeIess" man.
He was thunderstruck, amazed, be.
wildered. He had lost his money lost
his new prospect, lost his self-conceit
lost everything but his new clothes
and low habit of talking to himself.
1t was useless to say that he was
mad. Armstrong was very mad. But
there was no one to be mad at but
Armstrong himself, so self number
two was i'll for a rough lecture.
"Now. Armstrong, you are a nice
sspecimen-you fool-you bilk-you
deadbeat-you mi" Well, need not
repeat all the hard things he said.
Like King Richard, he found within
himself no pity for himself"
But mere words were not sufficient.
1t was time for action. But Arm
strong never once thought of drowins,
shooting, hanging or any other form
of suicide. He was altogether too or.
ignal, as we'll as too sensible for that.
Yet he was resolved on something real
and practical in the way of reforma.
tory punishment. He felt the need OF
a selt-imposed decree of bankruptcy
that should render the failure as com.
plete as possible, and prevent a SINH.
lar course in the future.
So the broken firm OF Armstrong
& Self" went forth in meditation long
and deep. Some of his thoughts were
almost too deep for utterance. But
finally he stood by the dusty road
along which the great freichting was.
ons were hauling supplies to the min.
ing camp up the Sacramento. One OF
these wagons, drawn by six yoke OF
oxen, was just passing. Snap, snap,
snap, in slow irregular succession,
came the keen, singing reports of the
Missouri OK whip. "G'lans! g'lans!
wo-haw!" shouted the tall. dust.be-
grimed driver, as he swung his whip