Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-12-04
A London Hotel.

Melville E Stone in the Chicago News
They have American pensions pronounced
ponsay-ongs) in Paris. Berlin and Vienna,
which lure many Of my fellow country men
and women to destruction, and of which hope
to be able to tell you something later; but,
with all their faults, think they have some
claim upon consideration as tourists which Law
over the English hotel conducted on the Ameri-
can plan.
You are driven up to the hotel in a carriage,
and you expect to alight at the ladies' entrance
as you would, under similar circumstances, al
the Palmer or Grand Pacific. But YOU don't
do anything of the kind.
The driver descends and approaches a large
iron gate, pulls a bell knob, which pull is re-
sponded to by the hammer OF a gong such as
pilots signal to the engineers with on American
steamboats,. The driver then resumes his seat.
In the course of the morning, or afternoon.
or night, as the case may be, the gate is opened
and a warty-faced man with snub nose and a
white apron, approaches the carriage. He ia
in no hurry whatever.
DO you wish to hingage apartments?''
1--WE do
Ave you brought your luggage?"
1--WE ave not"
WARE is it?"
"At the Euston station"
:" As it been hexamined?'
"We presume So"
I" Ave We the checks?'
1--WE ave.
The warty-face man grunts, passes through
the gateway, locks the gate after him, and re-
turns in the course of an hour. This time he
swings the gate wide open and invites the
driver to come in. We are now in an open
courtyard. We alight. We enter an Office tina,
looks like a railroad baggage room. The lift
isn't running but it will be in few minutes
We wait half an hour. We climb the stairs
We are taken to a handsome suite of rooms
We are tired and cross.
Enter another white-aproned man. Would
like your names. Gets them. Bows and re-
tires. Enter another white-aproned man. with
nose like lobster claw. Hands US bill of fare
We order breakfast.
when can we have it?"
"Himmejiately."
"All right"
what, sir?'
Il say, all right"
''Yes, sir; twill be all right. SIR"
1t comes in the course of the day. We hint
to the waiter that we understood that this hotel
was conducted on the American plan.
80 it is" he replies, and he saws it so firml,
and conclusively that it would be useless tc
contradict him.
We rest, take nap, read the papers. Kill
time as best We can until the afternoon is vel
advanced. We ring for waiter Waiter comes
This time his nose has the color of q blue
bottle fy.
How about dinner?"
''Tabledote or sarved?'
"Tabledote, Of course"
"Tabledote over. SIR"
why were we not called?"
Got no orders, sir"
well, then, lot us have IL sarved"
We learn later that guests are not invited t.
table dhote unless they leave orders to thi,
effect, and that 1t IL served only for one hour
Our dinner must be cooked completely, and the
day 10 almost spent before IL arrives.
Papa, suggests Ned, ''let US go out and fine
an American hotel that Is conducted on the
English plan"
This seems absurd at first, but is Just exactI,
what proceed 70 do after dinner. / don't fnt
an American hotel exactly, but l find one tina
snt conducted upon any particular PLAN ant
we VIII have our belongings moved over there
| In the morning.
We will not spend very much time in Londor
at present. We are DESTROYS Of taking in the
continent first. We will return here from time
to time, II possible, and In this way relieve our
| selves OF the monotony of travel through land
where they do not understand English as she