Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1888-02-02
Squibs.

No, Jennie; our snake editor has not
been rented to Mr.. Barnum, or Dan
Rice, either, for that matter.
In those days of weather reck-
oning no one can tell from "whither
the wind cometh or weither 1t goeth."
"How many carriages shall you want
to haul the grief?' is the way the un-
dertakers put 1t In Deadwood.
The buggy-top bonnets should never
be worn at theatres until they are made
so that the top can be turned down.
Great is the benefit. Ifit were not
for benefits some people would make o
straightforward march for the poor
house.
Don't bank on chap who swears off
on smoking or chewing. He will sim
ply save the money to gamble on base
ball.
There were So 900 pianos made in the
United States during 1887. The mania
for suicide is apparently on the in
crease.
Julia wants to know if q young lady
with false teeth can consider herself
eligible. Yes, Julia, show your teeth
and go in.
We have always pitied the calendar.
1t could never get day off-(Ex-
change.) That's so; q man never re-
members to tear off the leaf
The fellow who sings "The Letter
that Never Came" will soon have a
companion song in "The Postal Gard
that was Lost en- route"
Our subscribers in Dakota have our
warmest sympathies. The thermome-
ter only averages about 90 degrees be-
low zero in the shade.
We don't blame the young men from
accepting offers of marriage this kind of
weather, with the making of the kitch-
en- fire as starter.
Kiralfy says flights are not injuri-
ous." That's all right, Bolossy. old fel.,
but where do you propose putting the
tights, on the men or the women?
A California washerwoman who was
left O legacy of 500 had twenty-five
offers of marriage within month. It'se
the glorious climate, you know.
Some of the eastern papers are argu-
ing that the new two cent green stamp
must go. We are inclined to the opin-
ion that it always does go-when
affixad to letter.
Do not throw away your hard earned
cash for every new cough syrup, when
that standard remedy for coughs, DIR.
Bulls Cough Syrup, is 25 cents.
"Hurrahn said a little girl, "I'm not
to be kept in because. Of that horrid
neuralgia. My mamma has bought a
bottle of Salvation OIL"
These base ball clubs have already
begun the season of buying and selling
players. In the market good, sound,
healthy player brings from $4,000 to
$1,000, according to age.
A child once burned fears the fire. If
you have once had catarrh you will use
any remedy to prevent its return. The
sure thing is Warmers Log Cabin Rose
Cream. Price SOC.
They have brought out an invention
to precipitate the smoke as it leaves the
mouth Of cannon. If they now get
something to precipitate the ball as well
all of us old campaigners will be ready
to enlist in the next war.
In these days of warning elements
YOU should sprinkle few shes on the
:. sidewalks or sprinkle them with water
80 as to lay the dust. P. S.-NOtice the
precaution we have taken to meet eX-
tremes at both ends.
Necessity knows no law. When you
have dyspepsia, there is necessity for
your using Warmers Log Cabin Hops
and Buchu Remedy, as there is no
remedy which can relieve you of it so
soon. $50 doses 81. All druggists.
In the nursery.
First Kid--Oh, I've got something
you haven't.
Second Kid--What?
First Kid--W Worms!
Second Kid-Ugh! That amt moth
in. My papa's got snakes. | heard the
doctor say so.- Washington Critic.
That is gold which is worth gold.
Health is worth more than gold. Don't
neglect q cough or cold and let it re-
main to irritate the lungs when a fifty
cent bottle of DR.. Bigelow's Positive Cure
will promptly and safely cure any recent
cough, cold or throat or lung trouble.
Buy the 81 bottle of Saur & Balsley for
chronic cases or family use. Endorsed
by physicians and druggists. Pleasant
to take.