Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1888-02-23
PROFESSOR M.GoozLEs

1 RHOFE0o0u |" 00SA@en
An UnhaIlowed Conspiracy Against the
Happiness of q Learned Man.
.And now, Miss Alvira." said Prof
McGoozle, as the evening waned. at is
time, perhaps, that should recur to q
subject whose consideration has not
| been wholly absent from my mind. l
| may say. at any time since came In.
In the discussion of the topics that
have occupied our attention have. OF
course, been deeply interested. l am
pleased to see that you have not dis
sented from my views in relation to
the charge of pseudepigraphy SO freely
made against those who have sought
to dethrone the Shakespearcan idol
from the eminence it has occupied for
centuries. Equally gratifying has
been your implied acceptance of the
opinions I hold relative to the value
of the iconographical researches OF Sir
Roger de Ijams-Ijams and the Marquis
of Clwmbwgz. the distinguished Welsh
man. Yet, even when absorbed in the
consideration of these things. Miss
Alvira, I have not been totally OBJ
livious of the principal object. in some
respects, which / had in view in COM
ing this evening"
The professor paused moment to
lot down in little blank book
memorandum of reflection that had
Just occurred to him in respect to the
encroachments of Slavonic ideas upon
The field of modern Saxon thought. and
to emit sigh that appeared to stir
the window curtains OH the other side
of the room.
Rousing herself from short slum-
Der by an effort so cautious that 1t
seemed like the natur al recovery OF q
thou ghtful maiden from pensive
reverie, Alvira Kajones, smiled in
general and somewhat vague &C
quiescence, and the professor resumed:
'.In entering upon the consid-bless
my soul. Miss Alvira this d;van seems
to have moved a considerable number
of millimeters since sat down upon 1t.
Is there declivity in the foorp" And
Prof McGoozlc looked with erudite
surprise at the elegant lounge upon
which he had been sitting The WIN
dow curtains on the other side of the
room stirred again, and an echo OF the
professors sigh seemed to come in
Iabored. prolonged effort from some
unseen locality.
..In entering upon the consideration
of a subject comparatively une1plored
and unfamiliar to me-" said tho pro-
lessor, Il labored under some disad-
vantages. And yet l have assured
myself that the mild. calm enjoy ments
of eonnubiality. if may so express it.
while not resembling in any degree
the sense of triumph. of ectasy, OF
thrilling exultation that accompanies
the demonstration of difficult prob
lem in the differential calculus or the
discovery of new principle in palseon-
tologieal science. are nevertheless of
real worth; and it has occurred to me
that in the congeniality of our mental
constitutions. the coincident views we
hold ON topics of-ln short Miss AL
vira, think should feel personally
indebted to you if you woul d. to. some
extent in this emergency, anticipate
my me aiming, and. as far as possible.
heir me out"
Help him out, boys!" yelled an
appalling voice from beneath the
Russo-Turklsh lounge, and that piece
of furniture swiftly rose up on end,
disclosing the Juvenile but athletic
forms of two of Miss Kajones' younger
brothers as the uplifting force. The
professor lean form hurtled through
the air toward the door. the gaslight
in the room was suddenly extinguish-
ed, the window curtains parted. and
the awful apparitions of FIVE or six
boys with phosphorescent masks on
their faces came forth and joined in
the tumult. Miss Alvira Kajones
screamed, the boys yelled, and the
speeches. and thunderstruck professor
felt himself led out into the hall, his,
hat damned down on his head his,
overcoat buttoned loosely around him,
his cane thrust in his hand. and with
all the wealth of his scholastic TENDER
ness yet unspoken the hal,less pro-
fessor was conducted down the dark
ened. hall and out into the gloomy
night.
But will this unhallowed conspiracy
of Wild uneducated and ,houghtless
boys against the happiness of a.
learned man and Trusting Young
woman be permitted to triumph? We
shall see Chicago 7ribune.