St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1888-08-04
FULL. OF FUN.

"A Pennsylvania schoolboy defined
'barnacle" as "a tramp who sleeps in
the barn"
"A young lady in Philadelphia is
said to have had five lovers, all named
Samuel. Her photograph album must
be book of Sans. --Drake's Magazine.
Mrs. Dumley-'Out of nine chill
dren the only one now living is Cousin
Kate" Mr.. Dumley-"Cousin Kate,
the dressmaker?' Mrs. Dumley-
Yes" Mr. Dumley-"Well, that's all
right. Survival of the fttest, you
know" -Judge.
-Teacher-"What are the names of
the seven days in the week?" Boy
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thurs
day, Friday, Saturday." That's only
six days. You've missed one. When
does your mother 60 to church,"
when pa buys her new hat. "-Ie1as
Sytimgs.
Miss Breezy (who has had little
quarrel with her bosom friend -"Well,
you must admit, Clara, that l play the
piano more skillfully than you do.'
Miss Wabash Crankly)-''Yes, do
acknowledge that you can strike an
octave with much the greater ease and
certainty. "-Epoch.
-''lt can't be possible, Bobby" sale
his mother, that you have been wick
ed enough to eat that whole rhubarE
pie in the closet?n Eyes, ma; the
doctor told you, you know, that my
system needed rhubarb, an l thought
I'd better get good dose of it down
me before l got any worse"-N Y. San.
--Absent-minded Business Man te
Office Boy-'William, 60 up to nv
house and tell Mrs. Jones have again
forgotten my watch. Bring it back
with YOU" He pulls out his watch
and continues: "Now, William, it is
nine o'clock, be back at ten"-TM
Farmer.
why, bless your heart, Erasmus,
dis yere fotygraf amt like you no how.
1t makes yere look ten Vars older
dan you isl Oats all right, honey,
| needn't git annoder tooken for Do
mex ten Vars. eer'-Detroit Free
Press.
Mr.. McDude-''Whata wonderful
thing is space, Miss Ethel! The i'm
mensity of it quite fills my BRAIN
Miss Ethel (sarcastically)-"So
should imagine, Mr.. McDude, from
the nature of your conversation. And
a blizzard stood between them during
the remainder of the voyage.-Ocean.
"A little Auburn boy who looks
after his grandfather's cupsidor for
moderate salary, offers this philoso-
ply: when l grow up 1 shall chew
tobacco, and have my little boy look
after the cuspidor Then he will not
chew. "-Lewisto,a Journal
--Mother-''You,I Isaiah, didn' | tole
you not for to go outen dat gate?"
Isaiah-''I didn' do it, nanny, deed
I didn'." Mother-'Den how you
come playin' in de street when tole
you not go outen the gate?" Isaiah !,
81 climbed ober de fence. "-Harper's
Young People.
First Tramp-'Well, how much
did We get out of the fellyp" Second
Tramp-"Faix, only enough for me-
silf." First Tramp" And is this de
way yer stand in wild me, Mickey?"
Second Tramp-''Sure, all Oh got was
a kick. Ye can take yer share of that
If We want it. life.
-"You seem thoughtful this even
ing, Bobby said the minister, who
was making call. ''Mr. Goodman"
inquired Bobby, rousing himself,
what is vocabulary?' The minis
ter kindly told him. Il heard it this
Bobby explained, land
lidn't know what it meant. Ma said
'he had no idea what a vocabulary pa
aad until she heard him taking down
he parlor stove. "-Harper's Bazaar.
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