Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1888-10-20
THE LORDS or CREATION.
A Bright And Saucy Girl Who Says Men
Are Necessary Evils.
MARY Brown, in Chicago Herald


this. They do the heavy lifting of
the world, keep its accounts, do mil
itary service and hold all the offices
worth having. The "6lthy pool OF
politics is an excavation of their di-
vising for the depletion and occasion
al flushing of which they are likewise
responsible. They make all the laws,
publish the most of the newspapers,
write good many of the books and
scientific treatises and monopolize
facilities and profession
al opportunities so far as they are
able. They don't do SO much of this
as they once did.
Some of them make admirable hus-
bands, paying bills without murmur-
ing, walking the floor with the baby
when it has the collie, taking the
twins to the park, resolutely turning
their virtuous backs on committee
meetings and coming home at nine
o'clock. Husbands of this kind do
not spend Sunday in dressing
gown, tilted back in chair, feet on
the mantel, extinguished behind the
blanket sheet of the morning paper,
emerging only when dinner and lunch
are announced. They do not sheer
at their wives clubs and benevolent
societies, but help them with the
books when they are treasurer and
audit all the accounts without the
faintest expression of masculine su-
periority.
Men are strong and conveniently
costructed for throwing, running,
standing in the street cars without
detriment to their health. Their
fashions are not complicated and
evanescent, and the majority are not
troubled if embroidered shirt bosoms
are dc sigueuy for full dress and they
display only plain plaits. They do
not know the chatting torment of
tight corsets, whaleboned dresses,
with hustle attachment which makes
the tortured wearer think she were
sitting down ON wire rat trap.
Mans trousers do not get skewed
around Sideways" and he has no
bangs for wind and rain to devastate.
He can conceal weak chin and bad
teeth, when nature is propitous, with a
highly ornamental mustache and
beard.
But man has his troubles, Bust
ness does not always go smoothly,
and his candidate is not always cleo
ted although he reserves the right
of proposal, he does not always mar
ry the woman he wants, and frequent
ly does marry the one he wishes he
had never seen. His "pants"-the
highest priced ones-"knee out; !"
his polished shoes are splashed on
the crossings, and he has no conceal
ing skirts wherewith to hide the ef-
feet of "pigeon toes" and "bow legs"
If his youthful Waste disappears in
the obesity of middle age he cannot
conceal it with "drapery" the ruin
which time has wrought There are
no false fronts or Langtry bangs yet
devised for masculine badness.
Man is useful as an escort, to check
trunks, engage seats pay for carri-
ages and flowers, and intimidate
Washers, but he is not faultless. In
the first place no living woman of
ordinary attractions can treat mas
culine friend as well as she would
like. The best of the species are re-
positories of infinite vanity. There
are, in this prosaic age, hundreds of
interesting and intelligent women
who would be invaluable as entertain
ing and agreeable chums. They are
matterof-lact, devoid of sentiment,
but are genial, jolly, and agreeable.
There is not woman of this class
who has not half dozen Johns and
Charles and Toms in her wake
among her callers and correspon-
dents she must keep them at arms