The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1888-01-25
An Interesting Talk to Brides Of To-day by
Marion Harlan.
The Modern Girl and Mirrisgs-Ths Pastoral
that Becomes Plain Pross.
Things that 0ftsn Follow the Marital Ceremony
How Msn Regard kstrimuny.
The Young Wife's jealousy Childhood the
Band that Holds Together Welded
ACKNOWLEDGMENT an Evil.
Written for the Sentinel.

copyrighted, 1877
II never go to a bridal that 1t does not
almost break my heart" said man whose
tact and tenderness were womanly.
We would not have our girls live single
until lonely old age finds them destitute of
what makes life worth having-home and
home-loves. We believe firmly that en-
during earthly happiness is oftenest found
in the holy estate of wedlock; that good
WON is made better, a noble man nobler
by loving and living with one another as
wife and husband; that their affection
deepens, and ripens, and grows purer with
each passing year until neither is COM
plete being without the other. And yet,
eyes grown graver with experience look
sadly upon the happy young thing who
stands on the threshold of the new world
as at the wide gate OF 40 Eden, which clouds
and chill ard blast, g ires cannot entsr.
To her bridehood is ijtion. We know it
to be probation, for ich the life of the
average girl is not s preparatory school.
For no other vocatl.. is so little SPECIFIC
education received zen from sensible and
far sighted parents.
This omission, often a fatal one We may
set down as sinful error antedating mar
riage.
wrote Emerson, more cynically than was
the wont of the calm proved metaphysician
Before deciding that the joining of mans
hand to woman's in the most important
relation of human existence is mistake,
and loined hearts mistit, let Us look at
some of the causes of discord in the SYM
phony of the dual life.
The KEYNOTE that sets all aiar is usually
struck in the earlier months of marriage,
By curious reversal of conditions. the
ardent wooer of the ante-nuptial idyl be-
comes the philosophically contented hus-
band with the utIerance OF the irrevocadle
words. Often the pastoral becomes plain
prose, with never a trope or rhyme, by the
| time the honeymoon is over. 1t was the
sultor's business to make the world beauti-
| full to his betIothed during the wooing. In
Hedlock the wife must bear with her lords
| csprices, minister to his comfort amuse
| his dull hours-or run the risk OF losing
| him. What husband bethinks himself to
/ entertain" his spouse if she be in toler-
able health and spirits? What good wife
does not rake together all her sticks and
stIaws of talk and apply the torch of cheer.
| fulness at the homecoming Of her lord?
| It is he, not she, you may be sure, who
| drinks his coffee around the edge OF the
| morning and evening paper, filings wads OF
! wet wool ia the form of absent-mlnded
| monosyllables upon the bonfire aforesaid,
| and, when 1t has sputtered itself quite out
and the paper is read through, yawningly
bethipks himself that he must "see d man"
at the club or elsewhere or, il very domestic
| in taste, falls asleep on the library sofa.
a woman is born a wife. A man takes
mstrimony into consideration along with a
great many other investments. He hopes
earnestly that it will be both pleasant and
profitable. Should it prove to be neither,
he has borne the shock Of falling stocks,
the disaster of loss in other cases, without
being utterly ruined.
Common-sense clear-sightednea IN our
survey of the situation is not pessimism. A
failure to appreciate the cardinal truth that
man is not woman. nor woman man, is q
Jagged reef connecting the Scylla OF single
wretohedness and the Charybdls Of welded
misr Y, and lies JUS under water. 1t may
b. &C ed that the crafts which draw most
W 4fer because heavily frelShted are apt tc
fare II worst here.
The citizen who has even an intnitesima
biz OF the worlds history to make canno
give up his whole life to couItship. Hi
wife. regarding love-makiUg and marriage
as interchangeable terms, and finding in
them her lifelong profession, is at tirs
amazed, then hurt, then angrilY jealous o.
whatever divides his attention with her
This may be classed ss generic Jealousy. II
may annoy, or, il he be easy-tempered
smuse her lord. 1t enevitRbly lowers III
opinion of her good sense. ii TO q tende
heart be unites quick perceptions, he will
keep business" out Of her sight to the bes
OF his ability, generally succeeding so ia
as 10 confuse the outline of what he carrie
under his cloak, but allowing her to SCI
that there is something there OF potentou
because unknown bulk.
, | Specific jealousy is gravermlstake, espe
cislly when the object is another woman
| Such feeling, unexpressed by so much as Z
| look, bears the same relation to open exhl
biiion of it as does the innocent white eye
to The hedged fighting cock. The thought
| II, - nd
jealousy Of her harmless hirtations wit
ether nen, knowing his honor to be safe Il
2 her hands. The sbsurdity of the idea tia
she should ever love anybody else as sh
l doe him appeals to her sense OF humoI.
2 mans first impulse on discovering that hi
i lawful partner obj eets to his admiration o
8 another woman is ore of fierce impatienc
q "a champing Of the bit. At the secon
s check, he takes il between his teeth. Il
d PROPORTION to his resentment of interference
:, with his liberty of action he loses respec
r If not affection, for the wouldbe tYran
Bearer to him than wife, child, or honor
q the acknowledged right Of independen
q action. IT ranks with life, liberty, an
= the pursuit of happiness"
= The young wife's best friend is the on
- who counsels her to be slow-divinel
!. Slow-in admitting that her husband pr
\ fsrs another woman to herself and sbou
- the conviction be forced upon her, to col
l. ceal her knowledge of it to the death-eve
= the death of her own heart and hope. Tear
. entreaties, inYective but weaken her no
and strengthen her rivals. No supplant'
wife, from the days of Deianira until no
lie ever successfully "doctored" her spou
st into a return to allegiance. The best thil
to she can hope for is 10 retain his respectt
at regard, show Of which may delude {
We world into belief in his constanc ', or,
al worst, in her ignorance of his inhdelit
-, Then, should the truant come back OF 4
or own free will, or because disappointed
or lola or Cleopatra, there are no abatts
re "scenes," no gUliies CT alienation to entI
90 gle his feet.
III Another blunder into which inexperier
re trips is forgetfulness Of the simple tTu
that the love which is worth winning
at worth keeping. One tito of the pains :
,ts forth TO enchsin and hold e lOver's far
as would, after marriage, ;dealize the wife
as to the angel of the house. tits sharp 8
m laid at the root of conjugal affection WI
nd man sees himself lowered TO the enj
,se ment Of ths s5cond-Sest of even every-C
er- i'f.
ad once hearda cd wife congratul
| a herself gravely thet, in thirty years
as wedo-u appinsss she had never appsa
ter at the bI eak.fsst with dishevelled hail
rec without a collar. The sincere feryor
not ne boast was in evidence of the prevale
rho of The contrary custom. The orde
int couture and neat neck-rig may stand