Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1888-04-01

btcA Oub tuc DOSJeSS NJ 0HCc, vi cuicIlHB
salon or psrler or drawing groom, be
there few or many present. Yet have
seen guests turn aside or linger to adj
dress fellow-guests nearer the door than
the conspicuous position occupied by the
hostess and her daughters or the friends
who "receive" with her.
"Surely have not seen you before
this evening ?" said hostess to n man
who came up to make his adieux at the
close of an evening reception. "I did
not know you were here"
"No?" said the graceful creature,
patronizingly bland, with an indescriba-
bic touch OF apologize compassion for
the defrauded lady, dashing suavity, aud
patronage. 81 saw you were pretty
busy with others when / came in. and
concluded you had plenty Of people to
entertain you, SO I've been taking care
OF myself"
As he might at Congress Hall or the
Windsor
The disposition TO regard friends
home as a hotel, and the repasts served
therein as free lunches, betrsys the I'M
derbred guest beyond the possibility Of
rehabilitation. One token of this incli-
nation has been referred to in the estab-
lishment Of his contented person in the
most luxurious chair he espies, or lolling
on the sofa. He carries forward the
neat design by lingering 6ric-d-brac,
opening and shutting books, scrutinlzing
wallpaper, frescoes, and furniture
sometimes turning up the cor
ner of a rug, pinching drape-
ries with haberdasherly touch, and,
when net prevented by intractable
casters, tipping his chair on the hind
legs. Why, what the indignant military
critic Of the Jackson statue at Washing
ton called "r'arin'" chair should ex-
press the extreme OF ease better than
one left in the normal quadrupedsl posi-
ton, is o reconcile question. 1t must,
or il would not be brought TO the front
so often that chair tipped backward
might serve ss the crest of the indie
pendent Yankee the world over. A
further and quito indubitable evidence
of quite st-hone-atiyeness is the sub
dued whistle or hum with which the
guest regalcs himself when not talking.
lie can compliment his entertainers no
more highly than by becoming human
kettle on the hob. and singing himself
mp to the bubbling point Of converse
ton.
DRESS.
The visitor owes it to the person whose
house he enters to dress as BELTS the oc-
casion of his coming. For men, the
dress coat-in slang parlnnce, "claw-
hammer" or "swsllow-tail while in
admissible before 6 o'clock P. NJ, is
always safe habit for an evening call,
while, perhaps, not so Indispensable in a
friends drswing-roon as at the dinner
table. That the custom of wearing this
when paying calls after dark to
ladies' is becoming SO nearly in
variable is & pleasing token chat GER
tain degree of courteous routine is
the national unceremonious-
ness. A lady caller wears a hand
some walking or carriage-costume, and,
il the weather be cold, may leave her
fur cloak in the hall. On regular "At
Home" days or evenings, a correct and
elegant costume, as to bonnet, gloves,
etc, is imperative. The feelings of the
hostess are of more consequence in this
matter than the convenience OF the
visitor. The former ought not to be
obliged to condone or apologize, even to
herself, for the dowdyishness Of friends
and acquaintances. Every woman, on
such occasions, feels prideful enjoyment
in the appearance of those who help fur
pish her rooms. There is an atmos-
phere otexhisration in groups OF we'll
appointed people disposed about the
3 partment which engenders cheer and
mirth.
AS has been intimated, first call
should not be long, unless peculiar cir
warrant ii, such as previous
elsewhere. os at watering
places, on shipboard, or in the homes
Of other friends. How thoroughly this
IS appreciated by those yersed in socie-
tvs unwritten creed may be exemplihed |
by recent incident.
A British adyenturer imposed himself |
upon the best circles" in ono OF our
large cities as a gentleman Of noble
lineage, and carried on the deception
with such clever audacity that months |
slapsed before he was uAmasked. Hay-
ing been q nobleman's valet, he used his
knowledge OF titles, family histories, and
life generally with marvel
Ious address Yet it is said that suspi-
,ions of his identity were first awakened
by the solecism of thres-hours' call ct
4 house he had never entered before.
The entree of the hospitable abode
once assured, the length of visits may be
eft to discretion and circumstance.
When the "At Home" takes the charac-
Ter OF a weekly reception, music, recita-
ions, impromptu charades, etc, being
introduced for the diversion OF the com
pany, brief stay is ungracious, unless
apology is made fer it
81 thought he hsA taken root, and
VAS about 10 ring for q trowel to dig him
Up /" sighed a sirlish rattle, sinking
back in feigned exhaustion as the door
closed on belAted bore who prided
himself upon his success in eutsitting |
everybody else.
Don't take root, no matter how de-
ightful you may find the soil, and do |
not monopolize. The hostess may en-
oy talking to you more than to anybody |
Use present, but it is a breach Of Ell
1uetts when she devotes herself to you
or an hour, or even half Of that time,
md social error in you to permit, much
ess require it, when there are those in
he room who have had no opportunity
or converse with her. If you have not
enough SavOir Jaire TO engage yourself
at least insist upon releasing
ler.
In fine, entertaining and being enter
aimed is a matter of mutual obligation.
Right comprehension and practice OF the
ew and rational laws regulating it are
4bsoluts duties which it is worth while
o study, whatever may be ones means
nd position. By beautiful law OF
one honors his neighbor
While making a gentleman of himself.
4 he chance to haye-as it is the case
With some people-sn abnormal taste
or saltless food. it should be overcome
" the knowledge that the daily bread of
amilv and friends is served from the |