davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1888-04-19
The Polite Burglar.
"Your watch, sir, please, and your silver
spoons
The pistol WIS at his head
'And remove the gold from your pantaloons, :"

"Your watch, sir, please, and your silver
The pistol was at his head
And remove the gold from your pantaloons, -
The burglar politely said
ct have no gold" said the awakened man.
And no watch OF cash have IL
wei, then" smiled the other" as fast as you
You had better prepare to dier'
lam in no hurry" the burglar said:
IF you'd like to tx your hair,
Or shave yourself ere you're filled with lead
I'll wait in this easy-chair.
you had better stick in the mirror rim
moe little goOd-by note,
And mention your favorite funeral hymn,
And the cut of your burial coat.
"And then the directions, if 40 you please,
For your ohseauies might be writ,
Together with such like pleasantries
As flowers kindly omit "
"Mr. Burglar in spite of your call tonight,
Both refined and polite you are:
And while my nnal letter write.
Won't you please to try cIgar2
'Oh. thank you. you're very kind indeed;
But yo1r writing don't let me STOP"
And he daintily lighted the profrered weed,
while maintaining the deadly drop"
We're a slave if money we make god,
Yet without 1t we cannot live:"
And the burglar. induiging In nod,
Smiled in the affirmative.
With plea SAINT movement the writer wrote,
Whom the burglar murmured, bland,
Don't You think 'twould be better If your
We're begirt with mourning band2"
Your faroy quite appreciate,
For love perfection pink;
But hOll0w's the mourning hand of FATE
When you're writing with lilac inki"
Then over the paper his good pen sped
He WAS frightened never bit:
And when he had finished he turned and read
The burglar what he had writ
And the burglar made wild grimace,
Burst into fearful roar,
Cufled up like a barber and fell on his face
All helpless upon the floor.
! 70 tr1st t. Mr. h1,rFlar you Won't fall dead
Then he poured cold water on his head
And famed him a little bit.
He stretched him out ona canvas cot,
Where be laughed until he was sore;
"Oh. never heard such n precious lot
Of beautiful jokes beforeH'
He rolled about on his hands and knees
Till be almost broke in half
With any man you can do as you please,
Ii you only can make him laugh
The burglar laughed to his silk hat brim,
And apologized then and there:
And n new umbrella was lent to him.
For mist was In the air.
"Good-by!' said the burglar; 'you shall know
Your umbrella tomorrow at four"
"Good-byl good-byi" said the other one: go
Your way, and burgle no morer'
II. X. Munkiftrick, in Harper's Magazine.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1888-04-19

not a medical one-and the partner ]
want, dear girl, is You"
1t was perhaps little vague, but
she understood it in an instant. Her
cheeks flushed; her long brown eye
lashes drooped.
Dearest, said he; taking her hand,
lis it to be DR.. Falkney and Wife,
Some other patients came in Just
then, and after that one look into her
hazel eyes DR.. Falkney was troubled
with no misgivings.
So Phebe's life-problem was solved,
and there came an end 10 the :.itiner-
ant millinery" as her husband called
it.
''Bnt shall always feel happier and
mnrc independent, said sue. s.foT
Knowing that am able to earn my
own living"
"Did any one ever doubt itp" said
DIR. Falkney.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1888-04-19
Nineteenth Century Achievements.

This is an age of dexterous niechani-
cal achievement. In Augusta, Ga, the
other day tree was cut in the forest
at 6 o'clock in the morning and by
night it had been turned into printed
papers. and the people were reading
in them the news of the day. In me-
disval days such a feat would have
been regarded as the result of sorcery
and an unholy alliance with the evil
one
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1888-04-19
A Now Bedford Mass :

a New Bedford, Mass, citizen ha
cat that goes sliding on the ice
After picking out nice, smooth place
the cat would go back and take 8
good run and slide twenty feet OF
more. 1t would return to the start
ing-point again and again and &C
through the same performance. II
would be a great boon If some of the
cats in this neighborhood would de,
vote more attention to tobogganinG
and less to operate singing.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1888-04-19

Distinguished Prohibitionist who oc-
easionally takes little claret as a
tonic Waiter, what's the matter with
this wine? It's thinner than it was
last week. Waiter-Same wine, sir.
Change must be in you, sir. You
know as how one gets used to the
strongest liquors, sir,~t1,
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1888-04-19

Madam" pleaded the tramp, pitt
eously. II am hungry to starving.
May make few snowballs to eat from
your side yarda" Certainly, my poor
man. replied the woman with the big
heart kindly, ''and if you like I'll
warm them up for you."-Nssp YorE
Sam
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1888-04-19

Wen Isee folks struttin' 'roun' in
6ne clio is minded dat wild IS fed
deSs OF de peacock wudn' be no han'>
sumah en- de pulles-Jadgs. Il
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1888-04-19

The Crown Princess Stephanie Of
Austria nearly burnt one of her eyes out
recently by the careless handling Of
an oyerheeded cprlingirona 80
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18
TheCan,p Fire.

Wednesday evening was q complete
success. Every seat was filled in the
large room, and everybody wa just iii
the humor to appreciate the interesting
program. There were a large number
present from ~neighboring towns-old
vets and others, many accompanied by
ladies. Capt. w. V. Lucas was. present
and gave one of his usual inspiring ad
dresses. The lmitable misses from
White Lake, the "Highlanders," helped
the program out amazingly. Prof.
French of the same place furnished the
music. Local talent helped to make the
entertainment u success. A nice suppeF
was served in the room below the hall,
after which came a social dance which
lasted untlt 1 a. H.. The gross receipts
were about $S5. Expenses about $50,
the boys paying travelling expenses and
hotel bills of visiting comrades and
others. The whole affair was one of the
p%leasantest for a long time.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18
=. - unktrs sina, prsor.

Yankton 2. and d.: The Yankton
land office is in receipt of some new de-
partment rulings of interest to the pub
lie. A circular letter OF May 8, received
to-day from the commissioner, ordains
that only fve-yeas final homestead
proofs can be made before probate
Judges and clerks Of court. All other
final proofs must be made before the
land officers Of the district in which the
land is located. Claimants in making
application in homestead cases mus
state whether 1t is final or committed
Hereafter it will not be necessary to
prove the size of trees in timber culture
proof, and such proof cannot be made
until eight years have elspSsa leEa The
first planting.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18
People You Know-And hsne You
Don't Know.

People You KRow-And hsne You
Don't Know.
Peter Egan is back again.
Mr.. Perry Sallie is back again.
Judge Sedgwick visited White Lake
Tuesday.
Auditor Latchem was up from Cham
berlain Monday.
BoRS-To Mr.. and Mrs. Jacob Ham
mel. q boy. May Ii, 1888.
Mr.. w. G.. Colvin returned from Min
neapolis Sunday evening.
Mrs. II. II. Boekfnger left for Sioux
Falls Wednesday morning.
Treasurer Jenkins and Auditor Latch
EN- were up to the camp fra.
Mr.. II. s. Dains attended the Masonic
lodge at Mitchell Tuesday night.
Mr.. w. C. Whitbeck left for Charles
City, Ia, Tuesday. More anon.
Mr.. v. D. Roberts went to Sioux City
last week in search of employment.
Mrs. Daniel Warner arrived from
Painesville, Ohio, last week for g few
weeks stay.
MIR. J. NJ. Greene represents the Re.
publicans of Brute in the Jamestown
convention,
Mrs. Nj. E. Burgess arrived from hel
Iowa visit Saturday, Her sister re-
turned with her.
Mr.. d. G. Grippen is representing the
local lodge at the meeting of the Crane
Lodge, |. o. o. F. at Huron this week.
D. Buren,, of Lisbon, Iowa. who
bought the Emick place southeast o
town. arrived with his goods this week.
Pukwana Press. Miss Ryan. of Kim
ball, commenced her second term Of
school in Cleveland township Monday.
Banker WEIGH. of Edgerton. Sheriff
Dafer and Mr.. A. B. Lucas were all W
from Chas. Mix over Sunday and Mon
day.
Rigby, the Osborne man. was in tow
the first of the week masking arrange
ments with Barnes Il Saylor to handl
the machines OF his company.
Mr.. Geo. D. Hutchinson, an old resi-
dent, has kindly sent the GRAPHIC
fine Photographic view of the interior o
his drug store at Broken Bow, Neh
The store is elegantly fitted up in metro
politan style, aud from the view W
should judge it to be one of the hand
soonest stores in the country. George
Kimball friends will be pleased to- kno.
that he is the sole proprietor of such
model establishment.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18
Same way Here.

Pukwana Press: We are continually
receiving calls from Eastern parties for
sample copies of the Press containing in
formation as to the price for which
land can be bought in this locality.
Parties having land for sale should
bear in mind that q small sum expended
in advertising your property may be the
means OF clearing for you many times
the amount expended.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18
Bonner. Fast Horses.

Some idea of the money paid out for
fast horses by MIR. Bonner may be gath
cred from the following statement re-
Gently made by Mr.. Bonner in answer to
a correspondent Of a sporting paper; Il
have owned n large number OF horses,
many Of them on my farm, of which l
have 10 remembrance at present. and
the aggregate amount paid for them
would be a large sum'S But taking the
prominent ones as l remember them.
they are as follows, giving them about
in the order in which they were pur-
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18
New Hooks.

Poems of the Rcd and Gun by Isaac
Mcclellan, edited by Will Wildwood. is
the title of a comparatively new work,
and one that no sportsman's library is
complete without. 1t is a volume of
27O pages, beautifully bound, and filled
with poeticsl gems from the pen of Its
! we'll known author. The work is pub
lished by Henry Thorp, 9s Nassau ST.,
| Now York.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18
Tho View CITY Dads.

Held their first meeting last Saturday
night. All present.. s. G. Doyee
elected chairman. Bonds Of ". S.
Jones, marshal; Edward Brenne. treas
urer; A. E. Roberts, clerk, accepted.
A motion mada to appoint a. T.. Rob
erts city attorney was carried, The
salary Of the clerk was placed OF 1925 per
annum and that Of the attorney at S75
per annum and actual expenses if called
upon to practie before the district court.
The clerk was given power to procure
suitable books to keep records of the
town in. A motion was made and car
.ied that the chair appoint a eomnittc e
Of three TO, investigate and report upon
the petition of the Kimbau Milling Co.
to have certain lands vacated. Biod.
gett. Tinan and Parker were appointed
said committee. Frank Vlasak was
grained permission to tap the water
nam in front Of his place OF business
provided he placed a cutoff q. sidewalk
Upon motion the chair appointed the
following standing committees III
nance-Blodgett. Than and Parker,
Fire and Water-Parker. Barkee and
Tinan. Streets-Blodgett, Tinan and
Barkee. Upon investigation the out
standing bonds of the city were found
to amount to $40, 600 and drawing 8 pei
cent. interest. The tax levy for til,
current year was placed at Is mills, efo
general fund, 4 for sinking fund and
for interest fund. 1t was the resolutiol
Of the council that the marshal be ia
structei to stop all gambling for none
in the incorporated town of Kimball
The compensation Of the marshal wa
fixed to consist Of only the fees pre-
vided by law, for arrests, etc, and to b
pAid as street commissioner for actua
work performed.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18

Teaclers' examination.
Notice is hereby given that the regular
examination of applicants for Brute
county teachers certificate, will be held
at the Baptist Chapel, Chamberlain,
June s, 1888, beginning at 8 a. N.
No examination will be held after the
one above noted until the first Tuesday
in August, when examination will b'
held in Pukwnna. Another will also b.
held the first Tuesday in October. a
Kimball..
The entire day is necessary for worl
OF second and third grade, and two day!
are required for first grade work.
| Pukwana, May IA, 1888.
Alice j. Sanborn. Supt.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18

Sioux City Journal; Don't spend any
more time trying to figure out incon'
sequcntial problems, but tackle this one.
which enters into the economy of every
day life. II a man aud a half throw d
bootjack and d half at a cat and a half
in a night and a half, how many cats
and a half will he hit in a month and a
holf
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18
Thss il a Great Country.

Biiou Hills Times: Walter Cook and
his wife are to be congratulated over
the fact, that they have a pair of twins,
q girl and a boy. They were born Sat
urday. Two brothers, viz: Rev. VIM.
G. and Walter have what most men de-
sire, two children at one birth. There
are now five pairs just on the north side
of the hills. There must be something
gives such astonishing results.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18

Somerville Journal: An article is CO.
ing the rounds of the papers headed:
How to Select a Wife" Its rules are
very scientific and interesting, but when
a young man falls in love he doesn't
ponder over rules. He just shuts both
his eyes tight and grabs frantically in
tba j.rl,
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18

gainesville co. Advertiser: If you
don't like this climate. there's q land
that Is fairer than this"
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18

A fat young heifer belonging to Jas.
| Byrne, and secured back of his market,
got into some binder wheels, Tuesday
morning, and broke one of its legs. 1t
was taken to the slaughter house on a
dray and killed at once.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18

Ed. Jones says of the new city u
Gil: That Parker will get an ordinance
through building sidewalks all over the
town; that Barkee will want the engine
house fitted with new chairs and Office
furniture; that Tinan will want the pro-
ceedings strung out to the greatest posi-
BILE length and published at full legal
rates; that Boyce will want the engine
house and ca!aboese painted and that
B~lodgett will get an ordinance through
prohibiting the use of gasoline and put
up the price of cobs. The city dads
have given said Jones just "a years to
leaye town.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18

A drive around the county at this
time reveals some finely fenced farms.
Ten years from to ,day will dnd Kimball
surrounded with the finest farming
| country in the world See il it don't.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18

The W crossing Second street from
the opera house is to be taken up and
laid across, Main street to the corner Of
the Farmers G. Traders Bank, thereby
affording better drainage.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18

President Gates, OF the Fidelity is
congratulating himself because his com
pany held no risks in the big fire at
Blunt. The company recently cancelled
all its policies there.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18

The GRAPHIC MAR thought he had
about five tons of hay in stack on a claim
a mile south Of G. j. Maynard's, but it
seems the thieves which infest the
country stole it all.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18

The willing workers Of the NJ. E.
church have raised sufficient funds
from their %socials, etc, TO treat the
church to a long needed suit of paper.
This and other Improvements will be
commenced next week.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18

At Sioux City, Monday, a 1~s.year-old
boy, in a spirit of malicious fun, pushed
his companion, a little boy six years
old, into the Missouri. He was
| drowned,
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18

1t may not be generally known, but l..
Pause will carry or quite on extensive
creamery this season. He will have
several teams steadily employed gather
ing the cream.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18
"a. X. Notice

A special meeting will be held mex
Wednesday evening to perfect arrange
ments for Memorial day.
C. s. Blodgett, Com.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18
Felted,

The party who had the "losg felt
want" did not long want felt. as be did
0 want felt long. or wan long felt;
it was merely a want, long felt, that
made the want felt long 4 long felt
want, and his want was long when he
felt the felt hat that he felt at Robin.
sons Shanty.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18

All the latest novelties in spring
clothing just received at Bardin &sCo's
which are to be closed out to meet any
! competition.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18

Bard,n s. Co. have just received a full
line Of latest style summer hats. Come
and see.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18
Married.

At MIR. Miron Keith's, Wilber twp,
May ed, Henry Rapalfe to Addie F.
Keith, Rev. f. P. Barker officiating.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18
ALWAYS READ THIS COLUMN.

when curtew tolls the knell of parting day
And wife and children waiting are for me,
l pass by the Artesian Grocery on the way,
And carry home a can of gAULTLlSSS TEA.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18

The corner bakery will be opened to-
morrow by Charles %Spitznagel, of Min
neapolis. a real baker. Nothing half
way about this deal. Charley is an old
hand at the business and persons who
patronize him are guaranteed salts
faction.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18

1t takes 800 full blown roses to make a
tablespoonful of perfume.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18

Whooping cough is attended with but
little danger when the cough is kept
loose and cxpectoration easy by the free
use Of Ghamberlain's Cough Remedy.
Soil by Il. Il, Miller. Is
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18

DR.. Cady's Condition Powders they
ont up the digestive organs. free the
system of worms. give the horse q good
appetite, causing them to shed freely
and putting them in good shape for
hard work. For sale by Z. i. Miller.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18
Papers for Two Dollars

4 q hundred others at the same low price,
81 In order to secure the above low rates sub
overy instance. Old Subscribers may avail
themselves of the same offer by first paying up
all arrearages.
Ei'' Any publication not named above will be
furnished in connection with the GRAPHIC ut the
same low rates, or to paid up subscribers at
Wholesale prices. We will give the lowest ratios
~ any sswspapsr OF masaz.ne punl.shea ed m ths
GRAPHIC
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18
shiplex.,s wife,s AVN,
Yes; Dakota.

Pukwana Press: Always to the front
the hired girl.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18
The Chicago Girls Feet.

Exchange: (At the poker table, Miss
Chicago-"Oh. my, wasn't that just too
funny. Why, 1 stood on q Falr of
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18
Memorial Day.

List of committees appointed by Reno
Post No. 35 G. A. r. for Memorial day
services. May so, 1883.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18

The many cases of rheumatism cure
by Chamberlain's Pain Balm during the
past few months, have given the people
great confidence in its curative proper
ties. and have shown that there is one
preparation that can be depended upon
for that painful and %aggravating disease.
Mr.. Geo. C. Davenport, one OF the lead
ing druggists of st, Paul. Mimi, says:
I'm regard to Chamberlain's Mediciaes,
I am pleased TO say that can recosaend
them with confidence. that they will do
as much for a person as anything in the
market Especially am | pleased with
Chamberlain's Pain Balm" No one
afflicted with rheumatism can use it with
out benefit. For sale by +. Il. Miller.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18
q It's Dcne.

Miss New York-"You generally do,
| helieYe"
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18
Teachers Examination.

Full program next week.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18
Real estate loans on short notice.
~ n Sayape

Did you notice the nice display OF
new goods ut j. & W. Harker's.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18

A large and complete stock of Trunks.
Satchels, Valises and Handbags at l.. D.
Bardin s. Cos.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18

The most complete and best line Of
mems fine shoes you will find at Bardin
& Cos.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-05-18

Bardin s. Co. sell 10 bars of the old
and reliable o. X. soap for II dollar.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1888-02-24
How Air-Brakes Work.
[Chicago Journal


Said a railroad man to me to-day /:
"Fll bet not one in 100 people who
travel on railroad trains understand
how the pressure of air is used to ap-
ply the brakes to train. When the
air-brake was first invented the air
was turned into the cylinder under
each car when the cars We're to be
stopped, and the pressure was exerted
to force the brakes up against the
wheels. But at the present day the
brakes are held against the wheels by
springs and the air is turned into
the cylinders to push the brakes
away from the wheels as long us the
train is in motion. When it is desired
to stop the train the air is let out,
and then the springs apply the
brakes and stop the train. This last
method of applying air pressure has
great advantage over the old way on
the score of safety. Whenever an
accident happeEs to train, one Of the
first effects it is apt to have is 10 rup-
ture the air-pipes leading from the
engine to the cylinders under the cars,
and that of itself stops the train in
stantly. 1t is very important for
Everybody to understand this matter,
because child five years old can stop
train in thirty seconds, if he simply
understands how. You will see, if
you look for it, that there is sort of
a rope projecting from the toilet-room
of every car. If you catch hold of it
and give it little jerk it will stop
the train before it has gone two hun
dred yards"