Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1888-04-21
THE BAGKSLIDING OF DEACON BULGE.


genuine sensation. On fences black
smith shops and barn fronts were big fam
ing posters announcing the advent of
Murphy q Montmorenci's Mammoth
Moral Menagerie and Hippodrome. A
rouch wooden structure erected on 81
jerks empty lot bore gaudy pictures of
airily- attired ground and lofty tumblers
in break-neck attitudes, and bewitching
creatures in gauzy raiment and pink flesh
ings, bounding through paper-covered
hoops or pirouetting on the bare backs of
prancing steeds.
There had not been a circus in Durkey-
vile within the memory of the Oldest in
habitant As matter of course. the
sleepy little hamlet was agog with excite
ment. Small boys were frantic, and their
elders, though they made laudable at
tempts to conceal their interest were vet
in quite feyerish state.
Not alone was curiosity and excite
ment rampant, but holy indignation pre-
vailed in certain quarters.
Durkeyville lay in great green valley,
at the foot of what was known to the COM
munity around as "Tater Hill" Half
way up this hill stood the square, white
meeting-hou of the sect of the United
Brethren
CONSERVATION seized these coed people
when it became known that a circus was
imminent, and they loudly denounced the
approach of this vanguard of Satan.
If 81 jerks, who had leased his vacant
lot for the purpose of advertising the
"shows," and for the erection of the tents
on the momentous day, had been a men,
Der of this sect, he would surely have been
a subject for discipline
Fortunately 81 had been a confirmed
scotfer for many years, and therefore es-
caped. As there was no object upon which
TO empty their walls of wrath, the brethren
were forced to be content with passing at
3 special meeting the following severe
resolutions:
WHEREAS, We hear with sorrow and a
sense OF compassion that circus is about
10 descend upon our peaceful village; and,
whereas, we realize that the Old Adversary is
cunning in spreading nets-nay, that the very
elect are oft deceived; and, whereas, it be
hooyes professors to stand against the on
slanghts of Satan therefore,
Resolued, That as for Us and our house we viii
serve the Lord and we will exhort our friends
and nelghbors not to yield to the 1nsidious wies
Of the Temper.
These resolutions, having been framed
by the schoolmaster, who considered them
model Of elegant diction, were unani-
mously adopted and read aloud from the
pulpit on the following Suday by the pas
tor, who at the same time made few and
appropriate remarks.
I" / tell We what" said Deacon Ebeneezer
Bulge to his co-laborer, Deacon Alan
son Tokey, as they shook hands on the
meeting house steps after service, | tell
We what, tn preacher clinched them air
resolutions good. l haint heerd no sech
powerful argument fur many day
"Thet's So" responded the other "We
must be up an a-doin', brother. TIL times
is waxin' bad when tn host of tn enemy
is camped over right agin us. l tremble
fur tn youth. We that have stood in tn
thick of tn warfare fur meny years kin re-
sist, but tn youthful children fear
they will stray. Especially boys-it does
beat all, Brother Bulge, how ALFRED full
of tarnal roots tn boys be"
at does assented Deacon Bulge. :"
remember when l was a boy, caravan
come along an | was crazy as bed bug to
go, an did, too and the good man in
dulged in retrospective chuckle, but
catching the eye of his brother fixed
sternly on him, he sobered instantly and
hastily added: "Ofcourse, that was before |
felt tn strivings of TIL Sperrit but some
how, l remember how wanted to go when
hear tn boys teasin' now"
wal" said Deacon Tokey, EMPHATIC
ally, feel it in my heart to be thankful
that 1 haint had no such hankerins. Satin
has tempted me, ] confess, but he haint
never tried caravans" and the two sepa-
rated.
The day on which Messrs Murphy &
Montmorencis Moral Menagerie swept
down like 2 cyclone upon devoted Dur
keyville was one long TO be remembered.
Before dawn the knights of the sawdust
rode in and took possession of the town.
A lawieSs, rioting crew ii was. 1t
swarmed into the tiny tavern and drank
all the hard cider without the ceremony
of paying for it; it seized the small gro
ceries and sat aloft on flour barrels and
helped itself to crackers, cheese and the
luxury known as dried herring. 1t
staggered along the streets, ogling the
pretty, frightened country girls, and there
is tradition extant that one of the World
Renowned Trapezists actually chucked
Miss Theodosia Babbitt, the village dress
maker, under the chin and called her
"Baby"
Even the odor of sanctity that enveloped
Deacon Tokey was no protection against
this roystering crowd. The man with the
iron Jaw jocularly slapped him on the
shoulder and called him cold Hoss," as he
ventured to the postofice to get the weekly
edition OF the Brethrsn's Banner 1t was
weeks before his nervous system recovered
from the shock.
But the buIioonery of the day was sur
passed by the marauding and fighting OF
the night. The hen roosts and pig sites
were besieged, and long and bloody were
the pitched battles in the darkness.
And in one of these historic combats no
less a parsonage than that pillar of the
church, that exemplar of humility, Deacon
Ebenezer Bulge, took hand.
The downfall of this good man became
an era in the annals of Durkeyville.
Events were dated to or from 'the year
that the Deacon backslid," by the hreth-
rem; by the sinners, "the day the Deacon
licked the circus fellers.n
1t was near shutdown on this memorable
day that Deacon Bulge was returning
from sailing the cattle in the South
Meadow. Ii had been a beautiful day,
and the sun was making a triumphal exit,
attended by cloud satellites of crimson,
purple and gold. The long shadows were
piaying over later Hill" A flock of
crows flew by overhead, making grea.
! cIatter. From the field he had left came
The tiabling Of cow-beiI. It was thor
oughly rural scene, and the Deacon was a
fit adjunct to it. lie was :, man Of about
fifty, but of strong and powerful frame.
He had the kindest, cheeriest s:lce in the
world. gentle blue ewes, spare locks Of hair,
hui SLIGHTLY tinged with gray, and frosty
whissers fringed his rudy face. He was
genial. Happy. hopefnl man, and as he