Los Angeles daily herald., 1888-07-30
THE LOVE THAT LIVES.
Grounded in Enduring Quail
tiles of Mind and Heart.
NOT FADING WITH BEAUTY
WOrthily Bestowed and NObly NOur-
ished-NOt Born of Imagina-
tiOn-NO Illusion.

II There be two kinds OF l0ve-that Wnlcl
, lives through time and trial, and tina
which withers before it is ripe, like Gu
grass spread beneath a burning sun
But it is the fashion with certain of th'
cynical to deny the enduring quality o
any form of love. 1t is all a delusion O
the senses, they say-a mirage createt
by the imagination, that fades away al
you draw near to it and evaporates int
empty space as you think to make it you
own. 1t is all myth created by poet
for their stock in trade and celebrated BY
painters as theirs. Habit and continu
ance, which, with quiet and faithful
souls, make up the charm Of life and the
strength of its affections, these cynica
philosophers deride as the death Of al
things.
"No one but those who have tried il
knows the infinite boredom of seeing the
same woman every morning at break
FAST" said one of the discursive sort the
other day to which replied his fair in
terlocutor, briskly: s'Do you think you
are alone in this boredom? Is it not the
same for a woman?" The third person
of the colloquy, who was not Of the dis
cursive kind, opened eyes of surprise,
thinking that if one loves habit and con-
tinuance are as apples of gold in pictures
of silver, and that the sense of security
the feeling of accustomedness-far
outbids the fugitive excitement of dis
cursiveness, and that novelty in love is
by no means the best state for happiness
or dignity. By love we do not
mean only one kind-that which
makes marriage, and at times unmakes
| it. We mean all kinds of affection out
side the more instructive love between
parents and children. But just as in the
new Translation Love has taken the
place of Charity so do We with this one
word sweep the whole ground of affec-
tion-of friendship between people of the
same sex as well as that more powerful
passion between people Of opposite sexes.
The same law which rules the
one governs the other; and just
as there are men and women
who love for an hour-a day-a month
a year-whatever their term of constancy
may be, then wander off to new adorers,
80 there are friends whose friendship
lasts only so long as the novelty endures,
then fades as grass cut at noon and left
under the burning sun to dry.
The love that does not live is in most
cases the affection that is founded on
passion for the one part and imagina-
tion for the other. We put out of court
the discursive of temperament-the natu-
rally and constitutionally inconstant.
These are, of course, changeable as the
wind, unstable as the drifting clouds. 1t
is of no use to rail-they are as they are
made and the mental Proteus is as unal-
terable fact as the material. But we
speak of those who are able to be anchored
able to retain one shape and be focused
on one affection, and who yet, by
the unfortunate law of their lives,
never find the right one. This
is because they are credulous, impulsive
and imaginative. They believe all they
hear, and round off into perfect form
all they see. Without enough of
that wariness which We call sus-
picion, they do not doubt even
where they do not know, The unseen is
to them as true as the seen; and that
of which they themselves would be in
capable-this treachery, that falsehood,
self-seeking, dishonor-they think the
only one they love before knowing
would also be as incapable. Hence they
give their trust as we'll as their love and
suffer the penalty of the rash. For the
awakening comes with time and better
knowledge. 1t is not Inconsistency, it is
revulsion. The man you thought
chivalrous and faithful is false
to his trust, false to his friend, false to
the woman whe loves him and who
has laid down her love as the carpet for
him to walk on-the pillow on which to
rest. Protesting fidelity, he has deceived
her at all four corners. He has taken
her devotion while returning only sham
assurances; and the pure pearl of
her heart he has matched by the imita-
ton jewelry of the Palais Royal. So
with friendship. Those who have flung
themselves into his boat and pulled the
laboring oar for his advantage and good
fortune, he repays by the belittling criti-
cism of lofty superiority-by the evil
speaking of the censorious and the back
biting. He has has the jealousy of the
small minded, and stands between two
who love him, so that they do not meet
in mutual confidence with each other.
But he has the air, the allures of large
hearted magnanimity; and those airs,
those allures have stood him in stead as
proven facts with those who believe
more than they doubt. Then, when they
| know, they fall off; and the world cries
| fie on their fickleness-not seeing that
the love which was born of belief and
rooted in imagination must needs die
when the desolating truth becomes
known.
This same strain-this same course
holds good with the disillusionment that
so often comes after marriage. The girl
who, in the courting days, was honey.
sweet and dove-like in her gentleness, as
a wife develops an acrid temper and an
arbitrary will which makes peaceful liv-
ing under the same roof bit of moral
gymnastics, puzzling, to say the least OF
it. The man who was all devotion as q
lover is hard and bitter tyrant as a
husband. Or his lover-like sweetness
which was then SO delightful, becomes
as he is better known, weakness,
an indecision, want of manly grip
which turns his wife's affection into con
tempt, and what would have been hel
willing compliance into domination, borr
of that contempt. Tempers of wrath
mistrust, arbitrariness, jealousy-habitl
Of untruth, Incidence, selfishness, ex
travagance-want of principle in small
things gradually spreading over the
whole surface till the large are covered
too-all these things come to the surface
by time and better knowledge, and ex
|. p1ain no welI nc iuatifv the falling ava,