The sun., 1888-06-17
MRS. snrrwooD,s IDEAL GENTLEMAN
A Thsurhtral Idea OF what Mshes . Mas
Worthy to Ne Called Gentle.

which we discover In tho humblest as well as
in the highest ranks OF American society We
find in every class In college some natural-
born gentleman, and In every profession, every
branch of industry, there is n man with good
honrt, modest, unsclish, md noble. who is not
thinking OF himself, but OF that mother whom
he hopes to support He is working for her and
not for himself; he begins thus TO find tho
road to famc and honor. In the banking house.
In the dry goods store. in the railway oflce. do
wo look Tor tho coming gentleman" the man
who Is not working for himself but for some
one olse.
That cultivation. which is tho parent OF good
manners. Is, however, necessarily left out OF
the training OF such young man. He has got
to do 1t all himself he must make himself a
conventional gentleman. II man Is scholar,
thinker. reader, manners will come to him
even II. like Burns. he starts from tho plough.
but II he has to work he must think OF his
manners There are no such books OF etiquette
as the classics In all languages. A student OF
Shakespeare will not remain u boor. Horace.
Milton, Racine. and Moliere produced no vul-
gar upstarts. 1t is tho insincerity of culture
and OF breeding which makes tho vulgar man;
n renl culture will make conventional gentle-
man. And finding thus. many gentlemen in
tho class which has not boon corrupted by
fashion. We also find sometimes the ideal In
good society. Fashion and idleness have not
produced so good q crop OF young men
as could be desired. but the false aims. the
glttering prizes hnvo not vet dazzled all men
out of the truo and ideal good breeding. There
Is such thing as au Admirable Crichton. a
man who can think. read. study work. and
still be Il "jeunesse dor6e," one OF the curled
and pcrfumed darlinss Of wealth and fashion.
He can go through the fierce fires OF social
Ia, ant I'm md MIR Tf
u,o without being scorched. All men are not
ignoble, although some are. But 1t is not to he
denied that the breeding and manners Of the
young men OF fashion to-day all over the world
arc not those In which thoir fathers and grand
fathers e1celled. These gentlemen of the past.
OF thorough good breeding. find much to criti-
else in the manners Of to-day.
A well-bred man is quiet In dress. respectful
to womon. kind to the weak. helpful to the
feeble. He may not be always an especially
generous or ELUSIVE man, but good breeding
will tell him all the proper observances and the
duty Of being 10 conventional gentleman. He
assumes a virtue II he have it not, and is
courteous and tender to the old. the feeble, the
humble. NoJiesse oJiiJe is his motto. and his
pride is to do that which he owes to himself.
even II he have no distinction.
1t is the absence of this air Of distinction I"
which Matthew Arnold noticed and criticised
There are fas shionhble men who have bored
setshly take the best seat, and are like bears in
modern society. Like bears. they can only be
az 'y at sss speh
rising to give his chair to- a married lady. per-
haps his mothers friend; such men lack dis
nor. as in laughing at some unlucky accident
on the lawn tennis ground. to notice the
duct. would be to despair OF the world. did
not one see in the next house some better bred
man. although with not such fashionable sur
has no cultivation. The breeding that he
| should have received ut home has been rubbed
out by the sellishness OF his surroundings.
Mothers. perhaps. have boon more busy trying
to secure a rich match for their sons than to
make them thorough gentlemen. They have
heard money, money. money talked from morn
ing until night Tho worship of wealth in
jures good nienners.
pursuit OF athletics is inurns study, and that
tho Old fashions are about wiped out. The
men are talking of rowing, OF their societies. of
the bail match. the race course and the opera
boufIe. Instead OF discussing an ode OF HORACE
or an essay of Macaulny. ANY talk about lit
Who should introduce it would be Voted null ai.
term full Of reproach is used for the college,
Then cultivation. which is a very certain
parent OF good manners, is left out OF the train
nG Of our yoaST E athletics are
No wonder an Oxford scholar finds such men
lacking in distinction In England the gem
u
the or and good at tlorace; he does not leave
| out the latter evenif lie can kick Il ball.
mon Of s sood u mapuers they nave Esd aie rom
sive training; they have conquered themselves.
An Americun gentleman should have the best
manners III the world Tor he need never be-
subservient: he has nothing to crush him: he
can always afford to he polite. No man knows
master excepting himself no one need grovel
no man need be a snob. but every man should
be a gentleman.
The old adaso that IT takes three genera
Ia hAit
| contradictcd in America. Many OF our young
mon are undoing what three generations have
made The frigldity and cubbinoss may have
descended to some men of good race in exact
ratio rs their tnlent has diminished. To have
| nothing left OF good ancestor but his bad
manners is Il poor in hcritance.
Now what did Matthew Arnold mean when
he implied that Abraham Lincoln was not = u
| us Abraham Lincoln was the ideal gentleman
although lie was not an elegant parlor knight; !;
TO- Us, Us no WAS, was al that Was wa, DISTINGUISHED. a
and phiIanthropist. Tho EnGisman prob
ably mean. that Abraham Lineoin hpI no, the
Ss@ sf % Se TSs ia
fenTi To the sS e2 sc o e'
not only be good man. but a polished
Good feeling e1mpreh6ends that intimate
fitting In manner, and elegant in conversation,
which comes first from training at the
ondly from an ability and a desire to accept
these refining influences which An after know!-
edge and interest in society viii help to render
one conyentionelly well bred. according to tho
etil uette of society,"
Now rs to the u,e Of the word gentleman.
1t IL often vulgarized in our own country.
When Tom on tho bull field says to mis- Gener-
GUS antagonist. "Horatio, you are a gentle
man." he uses 1t correctly. When driver says
TO his fare. " II you are the man who is going
to ride. am the gsntloman as is to drive you,"
he uses 1t Incorrectly Whom a servant an
nopnces a plumber as tho gentleman to fix
word gentleman" ono o; the noblest. sweet,
not be used too much Put in the better word
man, remembering that gentleman imGlies
much breeding. much culture, u certain refine
mcnt, Of occupation, and II moral togo OF the
very highest.
And TO descend TO tho lowest thing about q
gentleman. we should romem Dor that his minor
manners mus be attended TO: he does Not
swear or smoke IN the presence OF women; he
does not eat his dinner in hurry; he does not
crumble his bread about, making 1t into pills ;
he does not eat his soup with u Kissing sound.
or tip the plate to get the last drop: he mends
his table manners il they arc bad : he dresses
limself wall IN his IN will allow. be he