The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-03
BRIGHT BITS.

Coz. MosBY of guerrilla fame is making money
practlclng law in California Practcing law is
as near as man can come in times of peace to
being guerrilla.--Hobile Register.
Knows HIS PLACE-Woman ito tramp. to
wnom she had given some cold potatoes)-If
you like, you kin step into the cowshed while
you re eatin them 'taterS; it's rainin 80 hard q"
Tramp-Thanks, ma'am, but I'm no dude
The san.
He had told her that business called him to
Europe and that he might be gone a year
with pale face and Leating heart he nervouSly
awaited the effect. Finally the girl spoke:
- on seem tritie nervous and excited, Mr..
Sampson" she said Are you afraid of being
seaslck ?''-The Epoch.
PRINCE KRAPoTKINE does not believe in pris-
ons, and says if you will cure the disease of the
heart brain, and stomach you will put a stop
10 crime. That just exactly what do when
we hang man, your nibs, and it works to a
charm, every time. Your nibS' theory is straight
as string.-Burdette.
FRIEND to PLAINTIFF We'll, | see YOU won
your suit, | congratulate you.
Plaintitf-Thanks Yes, l beat the scoun-
drel.
Same friend Ito defendant)-I'm sorry to hear
you lost your suit, old man.
Defendant-Yes, the the scoundrel beat me-
Epoch,
Young LOVES DREAM. -Bobbie (sentimentally,
to his cousin, whom he address Maud, won't
You give me some souvenir of yourself to take
back to school with me!
Maud-Why, Bobbie, dear, of course | will
Bobbie with much pathos)-And you'll let
it be something to eat, dear, won't your
Punch.
a coUNTRYMAN was in a Broadway fruit store
by gosh, he said, there's strawberries!'
Putting couple in his mouth, he asked: How
much quart, misteryn
I'VE don't sell EN- by the quart at this sea
SON. they re SOC. apiece" The countryman
paid dollar, and hurried back to the farm
The Sun.
Mrs. PARvENU (petulentlyj-I don't see what
they mean by inviting so many people to a card
reception.
Mr.. P.-What's the difference my dearo
Mrs p. Indignantly What's the differences
Why, good deal How can anybody play cards
when there's such crowd nobody can sit down ?
Washington Critic.
A GOOD STORY is told of a Cardganshire local
preacher He was declaiming one of Mr. Spur
geon's sermonS-uDknown of course to his
hearers-in a bethel of miniature dimensions
which did not even possess a gallery. Toward
the close he electrified the little congregation
with the sentence: And now | turn to you the
hundreds in the gallery. The Rock.
HOSTESS to young Mr. Sissy-You will kindly
favor us with some music, will you not, Mr.
Sissy?
Young Mr.. Sissy -well-aw, I'm not quite my
usual self tonight, Mrs. Hobson; but l will
aw, sing little, if you like.
Hostess (graciously(-O, thanks, you are so
kind. Even a little of your singing Mr. Sissy
goes great ways, you know.-7he Epoch.
Boston LADY Ito caler)-I want you to admire
my little dog Fido Mrs. Bunker Isn't he
lovely, lying there on the rug?
Mrs. Bunker-Beautiful; and he seems so
peaceful and contented. The expression on his
face is almost human
Boston Lady-Isnt it? I've been reading
Browning aloud, and l really believe the dear
little fellow understands it.-Nelo York Sun
LOVES HYPERBoLE.-She-Her is my new
photograph
He-Beautiful, thrice beautiful! Showing
you an angel, but the Inner an earth born
clod.
She-Why do you say that, sweet?
He-BecauSe.
She-Because what, foolish?
He-Because, why, because darling, with you
as subject ! could take better picture than
that with an accordeon.-Puck.