The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1888-07-18
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Il uGuu SCCubCl l-lllC uOoOs
An assayer knows how to handle the
ores.
Roosters can generally chanticleer
note.
A receiving teller-a gossiping wo-
man.
1t is when boot is new that there is
music in the sole.
Is the soup likely to run out of the pot
when there is a leek in it2
Rumor says our poultry raisers con-
template the formation of a Cochin club.
The dog who goes without muzzle to
save trifing expense is penny wise and
pound foolish.
Nobody can paint pictures equal to the
artist whose nom dc plume is Jim Jams.
-7eras SJtings.
Don't the man who commits suicide
by hanging himself die of his own free
will and cord!
"You can live at home and make
money! declares an advertiser. Keyrect.
A good many young men found that out
long ago.-D-trOit Free Press.
In Kentucky-Runaway couple to
Gretna Green magistrate: 'Will you
join u.s." Magistrate "Thanks; l don't
care if do. - Washington Critic.
Servant-"The mistress says, mum,
that she's not at home. Who shall l say
called" Caller-"You may say a lady
called who didn't bring her name. THE
Epoch.
He-"Your friend, Miss Wabash, is
quite chic, Miss Breezy" Miss Breezy
Ia trihe enviously) eyes; Clara may
-Hdrper'S Bazdr.
II would box your ears" said young
lady to her stupid and tiresome admirer,
eff" "If what 2" he anxiously
asked. 'If could get box large
enough for the purpose"
A man ill with consumption tried to
engage a certain young man as his SER
want, but failed, because the latter said
he did not want to be valet of the
shadow of DEATH Chronicle Telegraph.
Mrs. Christopher Cross-"This is a
pretty time of night for you to come
home" Mr.. Christopher Cross-"Sh,
m dea! Amt come home vet. Jes'
called Z shay v needn't sit up f. me to-
night"
A fashionable tailor of this city is
making a summer suit from crash towel
ing for one of his customers. One
would imagine that crash would make a
pretty loud suit of clothes. - C0mnlercial
Bulletin.
GLOW is your husband feeling this
morning, Mrs. Bentley2" ooh, doctor,
don't know. He quarreled with me and
threw teaspoon at the baby because it
cried" "Ah, favorable symptoms! He
is getting better. "-Judge.
"An exchange says the intelligence,
"IIats blocked while you wait" fire.
quently stares you in the face on the
line Of the elevated railroad. 1t isn't as
common as cars blocked while you wait,
however. Y0RkerS Statesman.
Mrs. Della Creme (wearily)-'I know
everything we eat is adulterated, but
what can we do, Reginald2 We must
trust our grocer" Mr.. Reginald Creme
(drearily) ly)-"Ah, yes, Della, very true;
and if-oh, -four grocer would only
trust us !''-Tid- Bits.
Merriman-"Did you hear that the
Locks and Canals Company had threat
ened to bring suit for damages against
the Vesper Boat Club2' Graves-'Nol
Is that so2 What have the boys been
doing" Merrimau -"Pulling up the
river "--IOrcH Citizen.
Charles" Mamma, to-day the teacher
praised me. "Did he3 What did he
say to you2' "Well, he didn't exactly
say much to me, but he said to my seat
mate you are the greatest good-for-
nothing in the whole class. l even
t.ink more of Charles than of you. -
FIiege7de B'attey.
1T is a curious thing in public life,"
said Virgins, as he laid his newspaper
on the table, ''that a windy, loud
mouthed impostor often succeeds, while
men of great merit are passed over"
''Not at all, " replied Bobley" Sits the
most natural thing in the world to put
the blower before the CRATE,
"In court said the card on the lawyers
door;
"Back in ten minutes, on many more;
"Gone 10 the hospital, on the doctors slate;
On another, sit down and watt
"Gone TO the bank, on the uotarys sign;
arbitration that young clerk Of mine;
Back soon ON the brokers' book;
"Collecting rents,n ON my agents hook
They were all too busy, matter quite new,
Very sorry was |, had nothing TO do;
Then hied me hence to the baseball ground,
And every man on the grand stand found,