The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1888-06-02
NUMBER ID.

low dog thing of beauty and a joy
forever to the lovers of pure cussed-
ness. Among other functions of his
Office the Hon. Jonas one day found
himself called upon to join in "bonds
of paddock" as matrimony is some
times called in the West, raw
young couple from the country. His
honor was appalled, at the situation.
He could commit horse thief to the
gallows with ell the elegance and i'm
pressiYeness of manner " hich the act
demanded. He could sentence man
to Jail for life for holding five aces in
his hand at poker, without turning
hair, but as for "marryin' folks" he
wasn't in it, by goshlemity But as
justice of the peace, he had to do it.,
and his perturbation of spirit was
dreadful to witness.
About an hour before the ceremony
was to take place the correspondent.
accompanied by one of the leading
citizens of the place, Mr.. Stiles,
went to the old 'Squire's cabin, and
found him pOring over large vol
ume of the statutes of Wyoming,
sweating like a horse, and looking
very anxious. After greeting his
callers, he said:
"Stiles, the derned galoots that got
up these yer laws hasn't gumption
enough to last them over night. Ive
run through the blamed book half
dozen times, and can't find a dod
blasted word about matermony, or
how the hitchin' process is proceeded
with. Pve just got to put the clamps
on this couple, hit or miss, an eff L
don't yoke 'em up legal can't help
it,"
"Oh," said stiles, "just do the best
you can. Any kind of ceremony
will do in this country, fer people
never question the legality of the
thing. I'll post you as well as l can"
Stiles then explained to him about
how he should proceed, and the old
man thought finally he could worry
through it. Ere long the couple ap-
peared, followed by a crowd of the
citizens of the camp. The candidates
stood up before the old squire, who
said :
"Fellar citizens, this var man and
this var woman have appeared before
> the court to be hitched in the legal
: bonds of wedlock. If any galoot in
/, the mob knows anything that mout
? block the game eff took to higher
Q court, let him now toot his bazoo, OF
else keep his jaw to himself now and
3 forevermore. All in favor of ME
t preceedin' as authorized by law,
say L."
Everybody said ST."
t CONTRARY, No."
Nobody said mo"
, 1.-THE motion is carried unanimous
ly, an the court rules that there
i, hain't nuthin' to prevent the tryin'
/ of the case. Grip your fms" The
! candidates joined hands. "Amos
4 Peabody, do you soIemnly swa'al
l that Yell freeze to Mandy fureYel
e and ever? That yell love Ter an
pervide fur Ter, an treat Ter square
am white, accordin' to the rules and
y regulations sot down to govern sich
cases in the United States, SO help
' yer God? ?"
"Yaas, sir; DO, SIR"
"That fixes your end o. ther bar.
, gain. Mendy Thomas, do you sol
Q EMMY swear that Yell hang onto
Amos for all comm time that yell
T nuss him in sickness and be square tC
I him in wellness that yell be to him
n a good, tru. honest, up.an'-up wife to
q him, under the penalties prescribed
p by the laws for the punishment OF
b. sich offenses do you swa'ar this. SO
y help yer God ?"
II swar 1 will"
{ "Then, bv the power invested in
I. me as justice o. the peace in an fur
this precinct, l pronounce you, Amos
Peabody, husband, am you, Mandy
Thomas, wife, an egalize ye to re-
main as sich now and forevermore ;
;, an Yell stand committed till the fees
y an costs in the case be paid in full,
an may God have mercy on your
souls an bless this union with his
healthiest blessin's.'
= The fees and costs were adjusted
y and after receiving the cOngratula-
tions of the assembly, the newly
made husband and wife departed for
IS their cabin up the creek.
q "a = Il - -,