Omaha daily bee., 1888-04-08
Wy don't Chasky yourself, Red:" And he

did.
Milton J. Barlow, the comedian, quietly
took unto himself better half last week in
the person of Lillian Hall, the burlesque
actress. Justice Weed of Jersey City tied
the knot fast, and John and Edna Vidocq
witnessed the ceremony and extended con-
gratulations.
Clifford Robinson was married to Mis-
Jennie l.. Leonard, in Hebron, Conn, last
week, and the bridal tour was made to their
future residence in Columbia dozen miles
away, on a sled drawn by two pairs of oxen.
The same kinds of teams were sent for the
invited guests.
John Farrell had comted an Illinois wo-
man for eighteen years. When he finally
decided that the time had come for them to
part she flung the swill pail after him and
broke his hip, and the jury who tried the
case returned a verdict of mot guilty. with
out leaving their seats.
1t has been figured out by a statistical Off
cial that there are thirty-one criminals to
every 1000 bachelors and only eleven Grimm
ais to every 900 married men. From this
showing he argues that matrimony restrains
men from crime, and ought therefore to be
encouraged by legislation and otherwise.
Mr.. Stephen Burke, of Minneapolis, has
had ruling ambition since his marriage,
twenty-five years ago, to have thirteen chill
drcn in his family, and. by singular coinci-
dence, the thirteenth was born on the 18th
day of last month. Happy he" says Thor
eau, ''whose aspirations never stray beyond
the home circle"
Solomon Sapp, over whose "youthfuln head
eighty-three summers have perspired, has
just wedded'the widow Stevens, a blushing
creature of seventy-tive at Princeton, III.
The minister, to make things even, confessed
to being eighty-four years old. The local
paper alludes to the bride and groom as
''early' settlers.
A fortune-teller told Mrs Dedolfte Hill
dinger of Chicago that she would leave her
husband after quarreling with him, and fall
IN love and run away with another man.
Not to arouse the wrath of Fate, Mrs. Hill
dnger whaled her hubby and then skipped
with dark, handsome Spanish cavalier"
as the fortuneteller predicted.
A young clergyman, not for from Harlem,
being on the eve of marriage and not wishing
to trouble and of his clerical brethren wrote
to the bishop inquiring If (as he had already
published the banns from his own pulpit he
could marry himself. The bishop at once
capped the query with another :-"Can you
bury yourselff" That settled it.
After refusing his pick of many fair and
comely danes, Robert Black, brother of
the distinguished novelist, has married a
maid in Port-au-Prince who is blacker'n a
black cat up blind alley on a moonless night
when the gas is frozen. 1t is said that the
contrast between her brawny neck and the
Irish linen collar that encircles it is very
marked.
Leap-year suggestions Bachelor ]. f. Nc
Cullagh, editor ST. Louis GlObe-Democrat (;
age 40; shapely blonde; makes specially
OF diamonds, fast horses and satire; natur-
ally domestic, he would prove boon to any
female heart hungry for mature manly af-
fectlon; s2O, 600 per annum. Edward j. Nc
Phelim, dramatic critic of Chicago Tribune
26 years old in the virgin soil of his poetic
affections no blade or flower of love has ever
sproutSd or bloomed dotes on Villon,
Shelley, Lamb, Irving, TERRY, Modjeska and
Louise Montague; writes beautiful verse,
and has the face of an early christian mar
tyr; income $500. Edward ID. Cowen, for
eign correspondent of Chicago Daily News
address lS4 Rue de la Grand Prix, Paris) a
Semetic brunette of Milesian extraction
just turned of 32; handsome, vvacious,
great hearted; extensive traveller; speaks
six languages; of exceeding gallantry; tre-
mendously popular with the ladies'; has
never loved; income 81, 900 Vincent Barna-
bas Kelly, Washington correspondent Chi
cago Tribune: income 5000, and age "a; a
1ipperary blonde of the old Dutch marine
school of architecture; has been four winters
in Springfield Qll.) and one winter in Wash
inaton; Is democrat of the reform school.
One of the best Knight Templar charms
em6lematically that we have seen consists of
a black Maltese cross, upon which rests
nine pointed blazing star the centre being
the noticed garter surrounding the red cross
on a ground OF green enamel.