The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1888-10-27
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
Ups and Downs of Editorial Life Out
the Far West.

o Towns OF Editorial Life Out in
the Far West.
APoLoGETICAL. We hope our readers
Will excuse the typographical appear
ahce OF the inside pages of the kicker
TINS week. We were working them off
as usual on Wednesday, having Joe the
Dlgger Indian as roller-boy, when
Judge Shackawacksen made us a call
auo Jumped on our collar. Greatly to
our surprise we picked the judge up
and mopped him all over the Office aud
hung him out doors. His boot heels.
nina buttons, spectacles and tobacco
Dox flew about and alighted on the
forms, and in our excitement we failed
to notice them.
The big hole in our editorial on the
tarlif was caused by a boot-heel. The
olurr on the poem entitled: 'When
Baby Wakes Again" was caused by
Two hind buttons. Such society items
as are unreadable owe their present
state to the judges spectacles. We
nope it won't occur again.
Nor THIS EvE.-Our name is being
prominently mentioned in connection
with the United States Senatorship
from Arizona. While we are fattered
and feel to step high, we must beg
or blends to hold up.
! u. the first place, we are too honest,
soAer and conscientious.
IN the second place, we are needed
at nome. We propose to run about
1O,OOO human coyotes out of this Ter
ritory dlring the next twelve months,
and pu thousand others behind
prison hrs.
Whileve feel tic5led all over and
can hardy sleep nights, we can't accept
the offic nor leave Arizona. just
pass the lace along to some other man
and leavels to do our work.
A DECErER.-We owe no grudge to
Colonel hastings because he once
cuffed our ars in the corridor of the
town hall. We had proved him a liar,
a swindler, Ind an absconder, and he
had to cuff b save his reputation. The
Colonel is NV seeking the nomination
for Sheriff, md is promising, in case he
is elected, b secure our town gov
eminent appropriation of $250,000 to
build pubic building. We are actu-
ated only blythe kindest motives when
we say that he Colonel is a blooming
deceiver. He can no more secure a
dollar from Uncle Sam than we can
borrow one Of the hinges from the
gates of Heaven. All the influence he
has in this world Of sin and sorrow is
confined to the Red Hot saloon and its
crowd of reprobates. Do not be de-
ceived in the castor oil voice of the
Colonel.
| AN EXPLANATION.-T cause of the
flicker in opposing the building of a
bridge over Red Horse river, to con-
meet our town with Dutch Hill, is being
severely criticised by some of our citi-
zens, who declare that we are opposed
tn-progress and improvements. Such
is far from being the case. Any open
bridge across the river would be an en-
couragement to suicides and accidents.
When man gets drunk on Arizona
whisky, he either wants to kill some
one or Jump off a bridge. There are
/ fifty men in town who would go over to
Dutch Hill, fill up, and fall off the
/ bridge coming back ii it had a railing
fifteen feet high.
As to a covered bridge, it would at
/ once be taken possession of by all the
old soakers in town who tried to get
home, and in a month would be voted
/ a public nuisance. While we just holler
for progress and improvement, we
can't see our way clear on this bridge
question, and shall therefore oppose it
until we have change of heart.
NOTICE. We have in our possession
about forty deeds and cOnveyances be-
longing to as many different parties
which we picked up on the street last
night. They dropped from the coat
tail pocket OF our estimable and efficient
Register of Deeds as he was weaving
his way homewards at a late hour. In
the East this would be called piece OF
gross careleSness, and the Register
would be expected to resign. Out here
in the glorious West no importance is
attached, and the estimable Register
takes an ext'a drink and pulls another
wire for renomination. And the worst
off is that We owe genial Henry $l4 in
cash and da'en't go for him until it is
paid. --Detr,1 Free Press.