The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-04-05
WISE AND OTHERWISE.
When yesterday l asked you, love,
One little word to say.

Your brother interrupted us;
So please say yesttr- day.
A western editor speaks of blizzard
as she Ten to one he's married man!
Dyspepsia aud Liver Complaint.
Is it not worth the small price of rs
cents to free yourself of every symptom
of these distressing complaints, if you
think so call at our store and get bot
tie of Shi'oh's Vitalizer. Every bottle
has printed guarantee on it, use &C
cordingly, and if it does you no good it
will cost you nothing. Sold by John I.
Shurtleff, Bennington, Vt,
Stranger Ito Washington hotel clerk
will you direct me to the bar room
Clerk-Yes, sir; follow the procession.
A Big April Fool.
April Fool was what Spring Disease
said when he came out of house where
he had hoped to board few weeks, He
was fooled badly, foi he knew he could
not stay where Paine's Celery Compound
was used. This medicine always drives
out Spring Disease,
When fellow gets a type. writer he
has to learn how to spell. The man who
has always depended on a bad hand
writing to cover up his deficiencies as a
speller would better stick to his pen,
Oh, What A Cough.
Will you heed the warning. The sig
nal perhaps of the sure approach of that
more terrible disease, consumption. Ask
yourselves if you can afford for the sake
of saving 80 cents, to run the risk and
do nothing for it. We know from ex-
perience that Shiloh's Cure will Cure
your Cough. 1t never fails. This ex
plains why more than million bottles
were sold the past year. 1t relieves
Group and whooping cough at once
Mothers do not be without it, For lame
back, side or chest, use Shiloh's Porous
Plaster. Sold by j. T. Shurtleff, Main
street, Bennington.
The man who has ever heard lovelet.
ter read in court makes up his mind
right away that he'll never make fool
of himself in that fashion; but wait till
he goes away for month from his dear
est girl.
Energy will do almost anything, but
it cannot exist if the blood is impure
and moves slugglshly in the veins.
There is nothing so good for cleansing
the blood and impartng energy to the
system as Aver Sarsaparilla. Price 81.
Six bottles, So. Sold by druggists.
A New York man advertised for the
address of any one considering himself
or herself fool and he got nearly 10,
900 answers. The result would have
been the same If he had advertised for
wise men in Boston.
Caution!-In our changeabe climate
coughs, colds and diseases of the throat
lungs and chest will always prevail.
Cruel consumption will claim its vic.
tins. These diseases, if attended to in
time, can be arrested and cured. The
rene 1y is DR.. Wstar's Balsam of Wild
Cherry.
Uncle Rastus.-Why does dey put In
God we trust on two cent piece and
doesn't put it on desc yere ten-dollar
bills, Sambo-does yer know? Sambo.
I dunno chier but | spects it's cause
yer don hab ten dollars.
A slight cold often proves the forerunner of a
complaint which may be fatal. Avoid this result
by taking Ayers Cherry Pectoral, the best reme
dy for colds, coughs and all throat and lung dis
eases.
My errand here tonight, said young
lawyer to damsel on whom he had
called, reminds me of the cry of An owl.
Indeed, said the maiden what is your
errand here tonight?' 'Courtship. To
wit, to WOO
Health and Economy.
Health is most important, but econ
omy should be considered. Both are
gained by using Lactated Food for the
baby, the best and cheapest food. Puny
infants grow fat on it, as it is a perfect
substitute for healthy woman's milk,
We'll Johnny said the Sunday school
teacher to one of her little pupils. i un.
derstand there's new baby at your
house. What do they call it? why ;
said Johnny with childish frankness,
mamma calls it little angel, but this
morning papa called it darned nui-
sance.'
A strange Freak.
The wife of our esteemed citizen, Mr..
John ROwell, while suffering under a Sc
we're attack of the blues, tried to commit
the crime of infanticide. nut was pre-
vented by the opportune arrival of
neighbor. Her case has been considered
by the best doctors incurable, but her
husband was highly pleased. after using
course of Sulphur Bitters, to find that
she was entirely cured.-[ Kingstown
Herald.
Magistrate to prisoner You say, I'm.
Gle 'Rastus, that you took the ham be-
cause you are out of work and your fam
lily are starving. And yet l understand
that you have four dogs about the house
Uncle 'Rastus Yes sab but l wuddent
arsk my family to eat dogs, yo' honah =
Cant eat a thing Hoods Sarsapa-
rila is a wonderful medicine for Great
ing an appetite, regulating digestion, and
giving strength.
A tramp applied at the back door of
house on U street for something to eat,
and the mistress of the establishment
let him in. Madame he said with
formal bow, 4 crave some nutritious
ailiment.' Hester ste called TO the
cook, there's man here wants some
thing to eat. Bring out that plate of
pork and beans 'Ah maid he said
taking the dish as a soft light shOne in
his face, "a fellow feeling makes one
wondrous kind; used to reside in dear
Boston myself
For the relief and cure Of the inhlm-
nation and congestion called a cold in
the head there is more potency in Ely's
/ NItdul tuull III tlot IL Is
possible to prescribe. This preparation
has for years been making a brilliant
success as a remedy for cold in the head
catarrh and hay fever. Used in the in
itial stages of these complaints Cream
Balm prevents any serious development
of the symptoms, while almost number
less cases are on record of radical cures
of chronic catarrh and hay fever after
all other modes of treatment have
proved OF no avail.
Three tailors established themselves
in the same street in Glasgow. The first
wrote on his sign, the best tailor in this
town The second adopted as his mot
to, the best tailor in the world But
the third. who was the cleyerest of the
lot got away with them all by putting
on his sign, the best tailor on this
street.
Delicate Children, Nursing
Mothers, overworked men and for all
diseases where the tissues are wasting
away from the inability to digest food.
or from overwork, should take SCOTS
Emulsion Of Pure Cod Liver OIL with
HypOphosphites. i used the Emulsion
on a lady who was delicate. 1t put her
in such good health and flesh. that
must say il is the best Emulsion. : lip.
Waddell, NJ. D., Hugh's Falls, s. c,
At Old Point-Kind old father.-Did
you see my daughter reading in the pa