The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1888-06-09
TRAITS OF NATIONS.
DISPLAYED BY PEOPLE WHO SEND
REGISTERED LETTERS.

Letters-Naiuables and Money Packages.
The, registry department OF the Chicago
postoflice is IA little coop of place, but you
will never know what quaint blending of
nationalites it takes TO make up "a big hamlet
like Chicago unless you visit the coop some
day. The fun commences about 8 O'Clock
Monday morning. At that hour the pale,
shadowy clerk with the dark, mournful eyes
looks out of his little window at long line
of men, in which there are Cinnamon, ne
groes, Germans, Frenchmen, and goodness
knows what all This particular morning
the Chinaman happens to be the first Gus
toner He has his letter properly addressed
to some person in Shanghai who wears a
large portion of his anatomy in his name
The amanuensis has, however, neglected TO
properly indorse the letter writer's own name
on the envelope.
you'll have to put your own name and
address there, john" the clerk says.
The Chinaman smiles like one of these
wooden josses and answers: Hip Lung,
Shanghai"
"No, no, John; youree ownee name, alice
same, the clerk explains.
The Chinaman smiles inuocently again,
points his long finger at the envelope, and
says: "Hip Lung, Shanghai"
The clerk, 80, rat,l"
After the Chinaman has gone the clerk
says: "They are usually very easy to deal
with, because they come here with their
letters properly addressed, Endorsed and
stamped. Nine out of ten Of them know the
rules and live up to them, but the tenth man
may be a tartar, rs this one was The ltal-
ians next after the Cinnamon have to be lee
Al.
they're not smart enough to direct their let
tiers right, and they get somebody who can
write well to do it for them. The Germans
are different. They hand in envelopes that
look like dress pattern supplements, and they
think there's nothing in copybook TO equal
their writing. But for stupidity a Rus
siann--
And it so happened that just as the clerk is
about to make some startling assertion 10
garding the obtuseness of the Russian a man
with a staked and ridered beard comes in
and furnishes burning example OF tho sub
ject under discussion He is Russian with
low brow, small eyes, and one Of those
funny looking peaked caps that you see in
the Union depot after an emigrant train has
come in His letter is horribly addressed
and not Endorsed at all.
whats shat namer asks the clerk.
The Russian grins like the Lincoln park
bear when peanut hits him on the nose and
he blaHkly replies: Don't know"
Il would like to find out where they got
that trick" says the clerk, motioning the
Russian away. "They all have it, They
don't know anything Must have picked up
the habit in Russia"
Nearly everybody who comes to the win
dow has forgotten something-the stamp or
the address or the Endorsement. One busy
man dartsin, throws out an envelope that
hasn't mark on it, and hurries away before
the clerk can stop him. Several people hand
in the stamps and the letters, and expect the
clerk to put the stamps on the letter. He
declines, because one Of the rules of the office
is that letters must be properly stamped be-
fore they are handed in at all.
"There used to be a clerk here who
wouldn't stand that" he says. Zone day a
big German roughly told him to put on the
stamps This clerk said: Put out your
tongue The German stuck out his tongue
and the clerk mopped it with the stamp till
he was tired We can't always get even
with people that way though Just for the
sake of accommodating the public we used to
buy stamps and keep them for sale here.
When we'd run out of any particular denom-
nation how we would get roasted"
A bright young man puts stop to the
clerks remarks by dumping large package
on the desk
Anything valuabhel' asks the clerk
"Valuable' sh'd say not. Sending back
her letters, that's all Cold shake last week."
and the young man goes away whistling.
The clerk resumes: Lots of people tell me
their secrets that way. You'd be surprised
to know how many Tilted young men there
are in Chicago Great Scott there're hun
dreds of em, and they nearly all use the re-
gistered mail to send the letters back. Then
they know they have arrived safe. Most of
them tell me to be sure and see them through
quickly; but that's common suggestion.
Nearly everybody does that as though had
charge Of the running of all the trains and
steamboats, between here and Connaught.
The people who send small sums to friends
or relatives abroad are the most anxious, and
| remember one poor chap who was ntrust-
ing with the government the money to bring
his old mother from some forlorn cabin in
Ireland could hardly be induced to leave
the window, he was so much afraid that the
letter might be lost
people who send big sums and valuables
are not so particular. They're not afraid to
trust the government. Now here picking up
a small brown paper parceD is $40 worth Of
diamonds wasn't asked to keep my eye on
that. One day we had $3.50, 900 worth Of
bonds from the sub-treasury They were
bound for Washington, and the government
had to pay ten cents for stamp to carry
them through. Funny, isn't it' Uncle Sam
carrying bonds to himself and charging him.
self ten cents for doing So ehf'
And the clerk turned to wait and smile on
a pretty woman, who broke all the regula-
tions of the office, and was as pleasantly re-
ceived as though her letter had been as cor
rect as her Partisan gown.-Chicago Times
81, FaW Fresh Pnrtinet ouisms.