The Washington critic., 1888-03-10
JOTTINGS IN JUDEA.
A Young American Seaman'S Ex.
perienCe in Palestine.
THE STREETS OF JERUSALEM
Various Eventful Experiences in
sightseeing About the City.

which led TO the baZar, II behooved
us to pick our steps with considerable
caution and squeeze in as much as
possible, in order to prevent COLI
sion with, and consequent upsettal by,
a horde of gentlemen whose province
il apparently was to struggle along
with goatskins full of water strapped
TO their backs and utterly oblivious of
the fact that their fellow-man had
any rights whatever to the highways.
1t is to be hoped that the reader has
not imagined that the thoroughfares
of Jerusalem are spacious, or well
paved, or that they have sidewalks,
or are straight, or that, in fine, they
are at all worthy of the name of
streets, because if she or he has, she
or he has been grayely in error in so
imagining. David has observed in
the 81 verse of Psalm CNNII that
Jerusalem is builded rs a city that is
compact together" Now, it is humbly
presumed that David looked long
way ahead when he wrote thus, for
its compacture could be no greater
without its being absolutely consoli-
dated. In that event we should have
been compelled to travel over the
house tops. find it difficult to pre-
sent correct picture of
JERUSALEM THoRoUGHFARE.
The only thing like It that l can
at present call to remembrance, exists
in the city of Liverpool, Eng. There
is situated street that is at once
superlativcly crooked and narrow,
evidently designed and built by an
admirer Of dogs hind leg, for it
exactly represents the contour of one.
1t bears the highly appropriate APP
pellation of Crooked Lane" and it is
in the near vicinity of the Liverpool
custom house. Shear this street of its
sidewalks, loosen its pavement, and
tear II up in several places, substitute
low, dingy, flat-roofed stores for its
warehouses of brick, fill it from stem
to stern with q bowling congregation
of baggy pantalooned porters, camel
drivers, water-carriers and ragged Grip
pies and sprinkle in by way of vari
ETY. miscellaneous conglomeration of
foreigners from far away, and you
have at once good looking Jeru-
salem thoroughfare.
On approaching an acute angle of
OilC vi lntSt bblttlb VIC buuNlCllly
countered six camels in single file,
laden with merchandise and led by q
iackass with bell around his neck.
1t is almost superfuous to add that the
body of a camel is quite spacious
enough for Jerusalem thoroughfare
without any addition being made to
it in the shape of couple of bales.
Most of us escaped being walked
over by dint of rushing with great
agility into provision store near by;
but the emainder-amongst them
our guide Nah omet-not being so
fortunate, squeezed themselves in
between barrels of picked sprats,
crooks of congealed goats milk
destined in the near future to
be outraged by being called cheese
baskets OF macaroni, beans and vari-
Gus other etables too numerous to
mention, that were ranged outside the
door, and thanked something-their
stars maybe perhaps Mahomet
thanked Mahomet-that they were
safe.
MAHoMET's MISFORTUNE.
Mahomet reckoned without his
host, however, for his equilibrium re-
ceiving an unexpected shock, he
planked stern first into one of the
crooks. How this came about is easily
explained. The rear camel falling to
starboard his helm sufficiently, brought
his port bale to bear on Mahomet's IS
bread basket, thus causing him to keel
Overland ruin his best pantaloons in a
bath of sinking milk. That Mahomet
wore an ugly grin, hooted choice Ara
bic, flung his arms around wildly, and
endeayored to regain his pedals with
the object of rendering the caravan
driver hideous, may be rightly imag-
ined. But he failed to eXtricate him
self in time; he was iammed so tightly
that two of us found it difficult to re-
lease him, and when we succeeded in
doing so, must say he smelt anything
but sweet. 1t would be no great Won
der if his pantaloons, providing they
are in existence, retain the smell to
this day. OF course we had to scrape
him, and of course the storekeeper
claimed damages, which of course he
obtained, but whether twas i'll specie
ornot, / leave the reader toguess.
Notwithstanding that we had al
ready been sufficiently bored to have
wished for the might Of Sampson and q
good jawbone, for the purpose of exter.
minating the unholy and ubiquitous
next street to be further prosecuted by
purveyor of shoddy. This crank
who, for aught know, may have been
"lineal descendant" Of Pontius
PLATE, from his physiognomy, which
bore q striking resemblance TO that OF
that illustrious gentleman's-as por,
trayed by painting in the "Church OF
Ecce Homo"-represented himself as
THE ORIGINAL "YANKEE JIM"
from "Feel-him-a dell l-fee-yah, and
in the "antimagalican fashion" Gf one
may coin phrase) peculiar to his class
entreated us to "comee rite intey de
storey and strikey one bargain. u
He was given to understand in
plain and decided English that
we did not pay Jerusalem a visit
for the purpose of striking bargains
and he was furthermore warned tC
"kcep off," or very disagreeable con
sequences might ensue. Plain Ian
guage was, however, unaYailing and
he followed us, caught us by the
arms, Yehemently insisted, in his
diabolical English, that "Yanks" in
yariably patronized him when in
Jerusalem, and muttered something
which sounded like his being Jig
gered if he was "agoin' to lette III
ago thatey away" Much more need
not be said; our cup Of bitterness
was overtlowing; and so was his
after one of our number had almOs
succeeded in spelling Il brand new
pair Of American shoes over him
After little more meandering ant
less importuning than had hithert,
fallen to our lot, we reached thl