St. Landry democrat., 1888-05-12
TWO TEXAS LAWYERS.
Chey Meet in a Hotel and Violate the
Ethics of the Profession.


Among the arrivals at Dallas hotel
were Major Duck. of San Antonio, and
Colonel Sam Bender, of Houston, both
members of the legal profession. They
had never been introduced to each
other, but the genial landlord, who
knew them both, performed the cere'
mony.
'Maior Duck, allow me to introduce
you to Colonel Bender, one of the lead
ing lawyers of Houston. Colonel
Bender, you will be glad to know
Major Duck. the great criminal lawyer
of Western Texas, the nest-egg of the
profession.
N. B.-The landlord should have said
nestor of the profession.
"Maior Duck exclaimed Colonel
Bender, grasping Duck hand, Il am
more than charmed to make your &C
quaintance. I've often read your
name in the papers.
Il am proud. sir, to be introduced
to such prominent jurist as Colonel
Bender, whom know by reputation, y
said Duck, clasping the hand of Colonel
Bender
''And now, gentlemen, since we are
a little crowded in this hotel, | sup
pose You have no objections to occupy
ing the same room," said the landlord,
rubbing his hands.
The two lawyers expressed great
satisfaction that they were thrown into
such pleasant company. and took pos
session of the small apartment. AS
each, by a singular coincidence, was
provided with flask of whisky, they
ordered some warm water and sugar,
and successive hot toddies accelerated
the flow Of conversation very materi-
ally. At the same time, the stimulants
made them egotistical and quarrel
some, as is often the case with Texas
whisky.
How is business now in the Houston
courts?'' asked Major Duck, stirring
up his glass of toddy.
ats very poor. In fact, the law
business is overdone; there are too
many lawyers"
Same way in Antonio. Hardly any
new suits filed, and new lawyers turn
ing up every day. 1t seems to me that
every little. half-starved, jack-legged
lawyer in the South moves to Texas.
They are worse than the carpet-bag-
gers were after the war, or the grass
hoppers.
Colonel Bender did not respond very
enthusiastically. In fact, he seemed to
be in pain.
What a blankity blank absurdity it
is for these frauds from other States to
try to practice law in Texas before they.
have even read Texas law" continued
Major Duck, excitedly.
"What you say" replied Colonel
Bender, slowly, ''applies to some few
cases, but when applied to lawyers.
sir, who, like myself, have been in the
State three years, it has no signif-
canoe"
"That depends on how much law they
knew before they came to Texas" re-
piled Duck, with sncer
''lf that slur is meant for me, all I've
got to say is that consider myself as
well qualified to practice law as if l
had come to Texas under an al as be-
fore society was organized
This was a home thrust, for Duck
antecedehts were rather cloudy
you are sizzle-souled. insinuating
whiffet, poor, sallow, Shiny lizard, a |
widowed, corpse-faced caitiff from San |
Antonio. That's what you are, and |
haFe been for years, and you know it,"
retorted Colonel Bender.
Il can outlaw you any day. you
Bayou City fraud" retorted Duck.
mo doubt you can outlaw me- You
are old at the business. You were an
outlaw before you came to Texas.
There is a reward offered for you yet
an Alabama, " observed Bender.
you are liar Your slanderous
soul is imbued with the electric fires
of perdition. Your black heart emits
fumes. You are no gentle
man."
Whatever | may have done, never
sWlndied ignorant old Mexlcans of
their land by getting them to sign
deeds which they thought were powers
of attorney. That 5 your regular bust
ness, so Lawyer Gassaway. OF San An
tonic, told me. ]"
"a Houston gentleman" responded
Duck, told me confidentially that
when a criminal is in a tight place in
Houston he hires you to assist in the
and then he always gets
clear That's the kind of criminal
awyer you are.
II never was member Of the Texas
Legislature and played poker with
obbyists. "
"You are liar and wart on the
profession. You lie in your foul ]
throat. You have got no style about {
fou. anyhow said Duck, looking
around for something to throw.
See, here, observed Colonel BEN {
Ter. your remarks are beginning to /
border on personality. Your language 4
$ a violation of the ethics of the pro-
ession."
tfTaka vaY,r hands cm 49,