The Forrest City times., 1888-02-25

CHINESE undcTtakers must Do bigger men than American plumbers. Three of them had the snap of burying 1. .Uo0 people last month.
 A CHICAGO Anarchis, named Schmidt says he would do anything to die for his counirr. Can't he freeze to death in the next blizzard'
 RHODE ISLAND is making fair look ing gold watch for g. 70. and a good looking gold chain for eleven cents Now. then. what ais this country.
 RICHARD K Fox. of The Neic Fork Police Ga-sfte. derives an income from that paper of s20O. 900 year. and Tue Christian as Work is printed on one of his presses.
 A MINNESOTA man named Jackson yelled 's'catf' at a strange animal in his woodshed. and inside of three minutes was in rags and tatters. with ninety-eight cisw-marks on his body. The visitor was a wild scat
 JAr GOULD paid s2Oo. 900 for hi. country homo down the Hudson. and it is sad to cost him S4o0 day or nearly SI5o.o00 year. It embraces almost square mile of land. ninety five acres of which is lawn.
 A NEW JERSEY milkman has been \ broken up in his bus ness by so many men hanging themselves in his milk. shed. He put up sign asking them 10 suicide in the shed across tine way. but they were obstinate and wouldn't do 1t
 A CALIFORNIA widow had pians for . $50, GOO monument for her late de- parted. but when the lawyers got through fighting over the estate the widow was doing house work at $2 per week for tue man who drafted the monument
 TIE fact that no man can be great ju dAl U ltGt Out Ut OHCS A5 iB Edison's case. The other day his wife got him to put button on closet and lie screwed it to the door instead of the casing. and then wondered why the door pulled open.
 ENGLAND has thirty-four judges who are each in receipt of salary ranging from s25. 900 to $50. 900. and together draw s9lO. 900 year from the treas ury. The eighty judges in the courts of the United States arc paid from S3.- 500 to si0,500 year. an aggregate of e3lS000
 SApI CARsoT. the new French pres ident has commenced sowing the seeds of unpopularity by appointing his brother-in-law. NJ. Mairot. to lucra- tive office. though he behaved so badly during the Franco-German war that he was tried by court martial for coward ice and treachery.
 MR- ". F. HEREFORD. of New Mar aCks A&AhA'Oh Afe~f ID ENNtfAE to be numerous grandfather. A short time ago his daughter-in-law. Mrs. Theo Hereford. gave birth to triplets. all boys and doing we'll A few days afterward his daughter. Mrs. Miller, gave birth to twins.
 MR- PIERRE T. BARLOW. of New York. is the owner of Lord Byron's sig net ring. This ring. which now deco crates Mir. Barlow's finger. is a long houses of Noel Gordon. and Byron cut into it. It is the ring that Byron gave his friend and publisher. John Murray.
 CONGRESSMAN BARNES. of Georgia. is known in Washington as the man with the patent adjustable ab- domen. He is of immense weight. and the peculiarity about his phy- sical corporation is that it appears as though his frontal development was artificial and he could remove 1t at his leisure.
 GEORGE GOULD says: "l expect my father will return about March 15. the time he fixed for his return before he went away Mir. Gould is now in Alexandria He will not make an ex- tended trip up the Nile. probably not above Car.o and the pyramids. He writes that he is homesick and W Il be glad to return. He is not much in- terested in old things. such as decay ing remnants of ancient nations"
 FREDERICK ELLISON. who was ap- pointed consul 10 the island of SL Helena by President Cleveland. was in Washington to hand in hls resignation of the position, and will soon return to his home in Indianapolis. Ind. He says that St Helena is so dismal that he wonders that Napoleon survived so long as he did his exile on that dreary rock. Mir. Ellison landed on the island at night Had he reached it in daytime he says he would never have gone ashore.
 MRS JOHN HoEY. of New York. is said to wear the most expensive bonnet found at any of the theaters. The most costly part of il is the pm she uses to thrust in her hair at the back to hold the bonnet in place. It is not conspcions-looking. and yet it cost lot of money, being made of the most exquisite tortoise shell. crusted with diamonds. The gems are small, and the