The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1888-09-01
CURRENT ITEMS.
SHE'S the evenest temper YOU ever saw
He said as he saw me vince
She got mad once at seven years old,
An she's laNed mad ever since


cause the largest man 10 gaze upon lie
with tears IN his eyes.-BGltim0re AH,eri
can.
Some men look upon Waiting as vast
ing time, but they manage 10 squeeze
some enjoyment out otit. {oRkers States
| man.
The ancients believed that the earth
was square, but that was probably be-
| cause they had never been round
| much.-BGHgor Whiq.
IL all this discussion about the tarid
| II seems strange that the sugar men
| have not as vet demanded any tariff
| on sand.-Bosfoa Poet.
| STRASGER-"Y don't look happy,
| friend Met with some heavy loss %
No, sir. / have just retired from bust
ness to enjoy life - Tune
THE gentleman returning from the
sesshore Will have the satisfaction OF
| knowing that there Is welcome above
| for the moneyless nlan.-LjncoIf, Jour
| nal.
We edit the paper this week lying in
| bed; but careful perusal of it will dis
| close the fact that & man can lie in bed
| as well as he can out Of lt.-SmliAtiHe
Ners.
The most conscientious man we ever
| heard of Is a resident of Lowell. He
| will allow no musicil instruments in his
| house except an upright piano.-Lotc-
| I'll Citizen.
\ PAPER called the Press and Printer
asks: Nv hat is good ink 2'' That's an
easy one. 1t is the first barrel manu-
| facturer sends TO a new customer
| Rochester Uaiea.
| "CAN a man marry comfortably on
1 a,,l-s- l.,
| Yes, he can but he will be deuced
uncomfortable afterwards Burlington
| Iotea) Free Press.
| SAT- don't know where | shall 90
| this summer, If | 20 anywhere. ] real
ly have nothing to wear Uncle
| James Then why not 90 to NarIagau-
sett Pier ?''-Lie.
SUNDAY school tsacber-'.Now tell me
what is duty ~ Little West Ender
| liust back from Europe)-.'It's some
| thing you don't pay unless you have
to. "-Philad, lphia Record.
| FRONTIER TO bov)-"rell Mr. Ham
| that his cue will be given soon for the
| death scene; Is he ready ," Boy
Yes, sir; he's Just got through eaiin' a
watermelon. "-Ne5C York sun.
! CoUNTRYMAN to waiter)-Giive us some
raw oysters, mister. Waiter-Yes. sir
| how many, sir Countryman Ito Wife
What dye say, Maria Wife,
guess we can Spite can, John.
'IT isn't SO awfully late vet, is it,
Laura 20 he asked anxiousIy. "No,
George, - she replied, Its early. Papa
won't begin yelling at the hired girl 10
get up for more than an hour yet
Miss IosSA JONES, of Argonia. Kan.
says she can husk and crib bushel Of
corn in ten minutes-a good deal less
time than it takes most mothers to husk
and criba Understandable Journal.
IoUNG wife-"Henry, want to ask
favor of you Young husband" All
right; 60 ahead" DO quit smoking
that beastly pipe" Certainly Hand
me the other one. "-NebraSka Stats Jour
| nal
We saw = brand new silver dollar
last week. 1t was pretty looking al
fair; bad an eagle with outstretched
wings on it under an arch of stars 1t
was made in the United States-Snith-
| rjlLe Netcs.
GENTLENAN-"Howi is your wife com
| ing on, Uncle Rastus p" with a sigh -
DE ole CONAN, sab, am jes de same;
| she haint no bettah, an she haint no
wuss. Ise gittin discouraged Mistah
SmIf, deed lis. "-Epocb.
| DEACON-I WAS terribly shocked. nv
| dear, to discover on my way home from
| church a match game of baseball being
played on the vacant lot near the park
| Wite-was it that which made YOU SO
very late, Deacon P Epoch
Mr.. CAUDLE-fDoctor, | want YOU to
| put up powerful sedative for my wife ;
| give me the best specific for Insomnia
| YOU know OF. Doctor-"What's the
matter Can't she sleep - Mr.. Candle
Ives, l guess so; but can't. bur
dette
But do you think it consistent in
you, as Christian man, to sell shoddy
for all-wool garments ," my dear sir
| you forget. Consistency, you know
is a jewel, aud, as Christian, | can
have no regard for jewelry. Boston
| Transcript.
FIRST tramp (nearjDg village
Lets turn back, pard; no use goln to
| that ere place; it's a prohibition town.
| Wei die o. thirst" Second tramp
/ Eli How dye know it's prohib p
hook at them waste heaps along the
road. Chock full O. bottles. Phil
adelphja Rscgrd.
FATHER, the paper says YOU 'offici-
ated at the wedding, clad in the ira
| dltional garb of the clergy. What does
| traditional mean ~ traditional, my
son." replied the poor minister. as he
| looked at his cheap suit of black with a
| sigh, refers to things that have been
handed down,
"PUT on some more clothes, Mandy ~
| shrieked the elderly aunt at the watering
/ place; "Folks'I see you - she added
| horrOw-struck. :Aunt Julia" replied
| Amanda, as she went out among the
waves with all the trustful innocence of
a Texas statesman, what are we here
| for ~ Chicago Tribune
ARE you a temperance worker in
| disguise ~ asked the customer of the
man behind the bar al a seaside resort
! hotel. mo" said the man behind the
| bar, I'm not. What made you think
was ." cob. nothing" said the Gus
| toner, fonly | asked fora glass of beer
and / can'tse nothing here but froth."
-!>o8smerriHe Journal.
GEORGE she said, as the hammock
sagged little his wav and neighbor-
ing hand organ struck up familiar
! tune, George, darling, why was it the
| letter never came ~ Il don't know,
| precious" said George, as his arm dis
appeared in the cleaning, unless it
was because Gallagher wouldn't let 'er
| 20. minneapolis Tribune.
| A Pussy Did customer who boards at
| certain hotel In this city found fault
with his soup the other day. Waiter,
he said sharply, ''this isn't soup it CRU
| ell" The waiter looked at It moment,
| then whisked the bowl away. "Ex-
cuse me. sir" be said politely, this is
Cruel. 1t was intended for another old
woman, and he disappeared after the
| customers soup.
| Miss GUILEss-Do you know why /
| have always taken a fancy to you, Mr.
| Bashiul 3? Mr.. Bashful (who has at last
| nerved himself up TO the occasion and
| is about to declare his undying lowell
| am sure I should like TO know. Miss g.
Well, its because you're not one Of
those soft fellows v no think, because /
am polite to them, that / am in love.
| They're such bores You know. Declara-
| ton indefinitely pOstponed.-J'ldgs.