The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1888-03-17
when a tramp is SO lucky as to

When tramp is 80 lucky as to
get hold Of the upper portion Of a
roasted fowl he generally makes a
clean breast of it.
An English writer says: "The
girl of England stands alone"
That's just the difference; the girl
of America always has host of
admirers about her.
"I know what kind of species
of bird that thing is," remarked
Bings as he dropped the humble
bee. "What is it2" asked his
friend. "The base burner"
allow old is this boy ?" asked the
conductor. "Five years." answered
the boys father. "Why, papa, you
know Pm--ouch! Is that you pinch
ing me, papa9"
"And what do you think of the
engagement ring 1 sent you,
Jennie ?" inquired lover tenderly.
Jennie answered in delighted
tones: 80, it is beautiful-in fact
the handsomest one ever had CIV
en- me-"
A bow-legged ma n was standing
before the stove warming himself.
"A small boy watched him intently
a while and then he broke out:
"Say, mister, your standing too
near the fire, l guess; you're
a-warping."
"Hurry! hurryw cried Brown i'm
patiently up the stairs, "we'll be
too late for church." "Oh, no,
DEAR" replied Mrs. b., buttoning
her gloves, as she came down, 1--WE
can't be too late. I've got on my
new suit"
"Think twice before you speak
once" says an exchange devoted
to women. What sort of brains do
you think the average woman has,
anyway? To do that a woman's
brain would have to go as fast as a
walking delegates dime in beer
saloon.
Daughter: "There is only one
thing more astounding than the
readiness with which Ned gave up
tobacco when we became engaged"
Mother: "What is that astonish-
ing thing?" Daughter: "The
rapidity with which he took it up
again as soon as we were married" !"
A Buffalo printer went to sleep
and fell out of a second story win
dow. The crowd set him up, and
after giving a few 'ems he said he
felt little out of sorts, that was
all, and made a dash for q refresh
ment booth, where he got some-
thing with a stick in it. Comma-cal
wosn't it ?"
81 am going to buy light coat
to match these pantaloons," he re-
marked to his wife the other day,
"and light pair of gloves to match
the coat and light soft hat to
match" "Your head, 1 suppose"
interrupted the spouse gently, and
the household knew no harmony
that day.
"Dear me, I ate cucumbers for
dinner and 1 can taste them yet"
exclaimed man noted for his
penuriousness, to his clerk, the
other afternoon. "Well, there is
one comfort" answered the clerk,
"you are certainly getting your
moneys WORTH" "That's so," re-
piled the cucumber eater. ~ didn't
think of that"
WaAV w plaCo a COluillu du. III
your paper" he said to the editor
"calling attention to my special
brand of Old Raven whisky" "All
right, sir" responded the editor,
briskly, "1'll be at your service in q
moment" Then he went to the
speaking tube and whispered to
the foreman, "Kill that editorial on
THE Curse of Rum.'"
Bunko Steerer, Ito strangely: +:
"Excuse me, sir, but is this my old
friend, Mr.. Ely of Rome, N. Y?"
Stranger: "No, sir; 1 am Mr..
Observation-Disclosures
tenschwartzcotf, of Quoddyquehog-
machiasmemfremagog, Me. Bunko
Steerer excuses himself, but before
he can reach his "pal" the strangers
name and address have escaped
him.