The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-18
BRIGHT BITS.

A ST.. LOUIS MAN wants divorce because his
wife SHORES, whistles. smokes and swears. She
evidently made mistake i'll being woman
Detroit Free Press.
The BOOM for a newborn town is like the
music OF locust wings. one looks at the little
thing and wonders where all the big noise comes
from.-Neto Orleans p c1y,t'te.
MCQUILJ.EH-Vanderbilt French cook doesn't
know how 10 make a mince pie.
CurtisWhat does Van pay him?
McQuilieu- $4,000.
! Curtis-He's worth it, Philadelphia Call
AN ONO MAN lived on one meal per day until
he could pay merchant the S7S he owed him.
People were Just ia king about medal for him
when be beat bank out of $50 The too
honest man is more TO be dreaded than the thief.
detroit Free Press.
HERE are five gold dollars" said grandpa to
little Harry, ''oue for each of your birthdays.
What more could a little shaver like you have
to wish for?''
only that was as old as you, grandpa, ~ was
the reply.-YOuth'S Companion.
LIVERY MARSHALL put in one or two buffa-
Ices?
Dude-Well-e think If you could Just let
me have horse it would be better You see,
have never. driven buffalo and | would be
rather timid, don't you know.-HdrDer's
Weetiy.
DID understand you to say Mrs Hendricks"
inquired Dumley who was trying to carve the
duck that this is a canvas-back:"
YES, returned the landlady. Why's"
II was only going TO remark that there is
nothing of the shoddy about the MATERIAL
Nelc York sun
DEFENDANT-As to the matter of alimony y'r
honor, you must not forget that l am poor
man.
TIE Judge-Testmony has been adduced to
prove that you had 900 in cash a month ago.
Yes, your honor, but my lawyers demanded
pay in advance. Omaha World,
CAN ask you just one more question, papa
If 1t amt foolshY' inquired Bobby, who had
been badgering the old gentleman all the
evening.
"Ya'as. ya'as"
why is it. papa that the more a little boys
nose is stopped up the more he talks through
its"-Ptilddelphtd CAL.
INEQUALITY in taxation, my son, is a system of
Assessment which hits you quite as hard as
neighbor Jones. over the way. Just and impair
tial taxation, on the contrary, is a system which
Its YOU off without paying dollar and makes
Jones pay enough for both There, my son. you
have bit OF information that you would never
learn in an organic newspaper or a political con
vention.-BoSton Transcript.
Two men were discussing the coal strike and
coal prices, when one of them said earnestly:
Now, see here. Don't ever kick so hard.
Things may be good deal worse than they are
now. Why, out at Los Angeles coal is $35 a
ton; You may have to pay that here if this
strike goes on"
Il don't know but we do now. " said the other,
when we get full ton. "-BuGaIo NetCs.
WHY He DREW THE LINE-''Are YOU opposed
to the custom of clergymen kissing the ladies
they marry" asked a petticoated crank who
was getting signatures to a petition to deprive
the cloth of its oscalating perqu.stes.
mo" was the reply. II didn't mind the min
lister kissing my bride. 1t was only when I
caught him coming to the house twice week
to continue the practice that began to object"
Puck.
NOT WHAT He .-Bobby-say-do
you like my sister Belle?
Young Mr. Jones-Why certainly, Robert.
Everybody likes Miss Belle. do they not9
Bobby-Dunno. l guess she likes you, too
She told ma you was a perfect-perfect-I most
forgot what.
Young Mr.. Jones-But try to think, Robert
Was it perfect gentleman?
Bohby-Naw, Oh, know now. She said you
was perfect nignoramus.-- snqh0mton ReDa4b-
lIcdn.