New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-02-12
TIE TALK OF The DAY.

They say that Congressman Holman doesn't object
any This may be so when nice Democratic
Job Is trying to sneak through the House, but lot
some ono try to lay to succeed the Indiana states
man. and no will become the most Objectionable kind
of an objecor
Degenerate son.-Od Ciesus-TOm, I'm dis
gusted with you. How could you be such "a
Tom-Im very sorry. sir. thought would be
allie to adjust at all right before the crash came
Old CrT sus-Bah How do you suppose would be
able to give bal for you to-day If hadn't been more
d Greet IA my time, about matters Of this sort But
lero, my boy live and learn, live and learn !-fTid
Bits.
rho Assembly to the Senate: "Oet out The
Senate to the Assembly Get out YOURSELF"
A Maine baby has been ohristened Anna versary,
ma rlaga
Faithful Little Brother.-Omaha Man-You
naughty boy. Dick; don't you know better than to
pSoo nv c m%ah Mr. money TGg hey haVe nope you
Mr.. Nicofrllow-Of coure of course. The little
fellow didn't know whar he was talking a,out: ~,
I1tr Dick-Yes l did too. SiS sand she Wished she
In and | wanted to tell her-Omaha World
Hole Is a "washlngon Critic" yarn The Hon. S. s.
Cox began his response to the thanks or the House,
Monday, By saying: Mr.. Speaker: 1t pleased tho
gentemon to make mo your locum tenens'" After
1t wa ONoill, OF Missouri, interviewed Tim Camp
bel on It,
"And what the devil does locum lemons mean,
lin he asked all IN puzzle
Don't you know That, John Z" replied the New
York statesman, with touch of pity In his voice.
"Wny, that's Turkey for pro tenn, OF course"
T. aching c0lorcd children aud preaching the Cos pei
seems be lIoerable sin IN their locality, and
or this Gus crino they have been ordered to do
par or take the penalty. Failing shake the dust
om lhcr Ieel, they unce enormously visited By
"a band vi men who pe.ted tholp house with
10 Is tired guns Though the window but fortunately
though mai rOwiy they escaped harm. Mrs Joiner has
in ner possession one OF the leaden missiles that
walz n,a her. which she picked up from the floor.
tic coOrrd oplc In their poverty can bestow, and
the eOspr were three sacks OF wheat char Mrs.
Joiner purely purtanc, and these prosecutions how
ever seve o. Ii not deter her from her devoted pur-
pJse-(North Carolina Letter In Adrian Times.
The number of students In tho German universities
this winter Is 26,045. The University of Berlin has
5,475, the other universities having much smaller
number.
The story IL current Of Detroit man who took his
haby to DO photographed, and when he called for the
pictures he unable to identity his own-(Alwau-
Aee Wisconsin.
Hazing has been revived at Lehlgh University
Spanking ought to follow hard upon. IL young men
will DO children, let them enjoy all tho perQuisites.
Old Gentleman listening to tho shouts of laughter
that come FROM adjoining room, to h0stess)-1he
young people seem to 10 enjoying themselves this
s IS .so they Mr. are PnyUs whist Would you
Old Gentleman (who has written treatses whist
for The Edinburgh Roview"l-Ihanks, my dear mad
am but don't know one card from anOthcr-(Ep0ch
Some one wants to know If General Greedy and tho
ground hog have organized weather trust Oh,
no this is very untruStworthy weather.
GIVE had a hard tlmo of it, murmured gone-to
seed specimen OF humanity "The fact IS, LUCK has
Bill Smith, both of them well do, while Pm poor
as poverty. l don't see how It Is. Neither Tom
for spree; while was always ready for anything,
and willing to spend my last cent on good time:
a cent to my name and they're both rich. l don't
understand It It's a hard world anyhow, unless
ieler's got luck on his side."-tBoston Transcript
In Elko Cal, hotol a recently put S5 ,oOO
under his pillow for safety, and forgot It when no
went away In tho morning 1t remained under tho
pillow untouched for three days, although two men
had slept In tho room Tho question now arises,
how often arc tho beds made In that hotell
Dan Dougherty, esq, has been lecturing on tho
immortality of the STAGE and II he sat behind three
story feminine hat whom the ballet the stage,
We don't blame him. Nothing gives ono poorer
opinion OF tho morality of tho stage than to have his
view shut of when tho ballet comes on.-(N0rrstown
Herald.
Mexican Joko-Poloe Justice-IIow IS this, pris.
oner You accused OF having distracted $50 from
pocketbOok which you found In tho street before
returning 1t to its owner.
Prsouer-The charge Is correct, Your Honor.
Police Justlce-whatI Have you tho eGrontory to
acknowledge 1. without blushf
Prsoner-Irs all right Your Honor l only kopt tho
money a reward for my honesty.
lilo Was Quito Transformations. MIR. Editor.
believe that II Is an evidence OF weakness when a
man is continually cndeavorng to get his namo I'm the
papers As for me, dislike to SEQ my name In print
at aL'
Yon have good Judgment, Colonel But say, while
you're hero, why not subscribe for my paper for u
Year,"
well, s'poso might as well. Here's Sc In ad
vance; and IL you like, you might Just give me q
little sendof say was tho man who fred tho first
shot ON Fort sumter, you know.'-lLncoin Journal