St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-05-27

hinged busybody." There is nothing in
the expression to unfit it for the most
carefully edited news columns. The
reporter will take the evidence down
verbatim; it will be so printed, and the
public will know just what evidence
the decision of the court was
founded on, aud have the satisfaction
OF getting every detail of the news in
full.
Dad-bing will be an important step
plng-Stone toward equaliZlng the priv
not relieve his feelings by swearing be-
fore folks may still indulge in that sim
full luxury in private. Under present
lingual arrangements lady will not
swear anywhere. She may dissolve
III tears, which must be a
trying process, but where men
would evolve damn. she can only
evolve damp. A handsome woman may
Dad-bing things, and at once give eX-
preston to her feelings, and, if she has
learned to Dad-bing prettily, be it at the
same time more attractive. Very re-
Gently he writer heard a beautiful
young miss speaking of the Dad-binged
weather, and he was not surprised to
feel an instructive longing to
hug her. This is not, however, adj
Yanced as conclusive proof that
Dad-bing will increase feminine attrac-
tons. The same feeling has been called
up by other pretty misses not addicted
to the use of Dad-bing. What | do
argue is that when woman may say,
There, Did-bing it, told you SO; you
left the pantry door open last night and
that Dad-binged cat has her head in the
cream jug, and can't get it out" she
Will have taken great stride toward
equal privileges with her husband.
THE STRONGEST ARGUMENT
at command of the disciple of Dad-bing
must be found in the religious and
moral aspects of the reform. Neither
press nor pulpit, not even the ten COM
mandments of Holy Writ, have any
threat OF future punishment for the
Dad-bingor, or the Dad-bingee. Pro-
family is often an expression of inhuman
hate. Dad-bing implies only tempo
rary veXatiOn. to pass away with
the occasion which gave it birth like
summer cloud. One may Dad-bing
an offending horse, or hen, hog or hood
lum, and the world recognizes only an
expression of present wrath. which will
leave the soul without stain, and the
temper mellow and serene. No future
evil consequences are evoked on the
Dad-binged offender, and the offended
has not made himself liable to
repentabce. Habitual profanity units
man for the society of the
refined and good. Habitual Dad
bingism makes a man amusing, and
commands for him the respect due a
a genial, whOle-hearted, big-natured
fellow. Dad-bing is the emotional eli
max of advanced and purer civiliza-
ton. No profane man is fit for church
membership, but he who Dad-bings his
evil passion to shredS has offended
neither against conscience nor the
stricteSt church discipline. Medical
scientists have discovered harmless
let US off with, varioloid in place of
smallpox and inoculated us with Pa
risian rabies in place of hydrophobia.
These were great discoveries, though
only guards agoinst f1eShly ills. 1t has
been left to philOlogistS to provide
harmless substitute for soul-deStroying
profanity. One thousand and one other
advantages must force themselves on
the mind of the careful student.
Dad-bing will make possible strong
and eloquent expression OF emotion on
great occasions i'll the domestic circle,
or in society. with no Offense to pro-
priety. Dad-bing will ease the friction
OF elections and eliminate one great
ClVIIIiiJ VI NICht(iHGSS from pOlll!CS.
Dad-bing gives the saint equal advan-
tage with the sinner in orations over
millinery bills and household ex-
penses. The devotee of Dad-bing
need not peril his immortal
soul over the doughnuts at
the railway eating house. There is
hardly All end to the long list of benefits
pouring in on the world under the new
dispensation. pause, not because my
subject is exhausted, but for fear that
my article may be too Dad-binged long.
| trust a grateful public will remember
me as first to recognize worth and mag
nitude in a reform which is about to
deluge with linguistic benefits a Dad
hinged world T. ID TAYLOR