The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-02-25
BRIGHT BITS.


OLD GENTLEMAN Ito grocer's clerk Have you
dog biscuity Clerk (brskly)-Yes, sir; all kinds,
sir. Which do you like best. sir!-LJe.
A New York BOY, whose father was sent to
the penitentiary last week. stated in court that
he had never heard of God. There is the
making of Alderman in that boy.-WdSiI-
tngton Critic.
If Shakespeare had only known about the
Baconian cipher when he wrote his PLAYS there
can be no doubt but that he could have made
them fit great deal better than they do
BotceH Citizen.
SMALL BOY near open window of restauranD
Jest smell dat soup, Jimmy. Haint dat
Jimmy (holding his nose)-I amt smellin' no
soup terdav, it 'ud Spite my appetite fer de
roas' chicking.-Llfe.
CLARA said the old man from the head of
the stairs, hasn't that young man gone yetY"
Your daughter isn't here. sir" feebly re
sponded the young man "She has Just stepped
into the kitchen to fill and trim the lamp. -
Neio York sun.
STRANGER Ito young man consulting his
watch)-I see you are carrying your first gold
Young man (somewhat surprised -Er-yes,
sir; but how did you know that:
Stranger-BeCduSe you carry 1t IN chamOiS
skin case.-Jttdge.
THEY were in the parlor occupying one chair
with but q single thought. Iney had discussed
the tariff, the Irish question, the slelghing, the
opera, the weather, and other important topics
till conversation about tagged out After
a long pause; "Ducky?' "Whatty?" DO you
think am making any progress in courting?'
well, l should say you were holding your
own" Tableau. -SDrtn9tetd Union
AMATEUR ACTOR (rehearsing in his ROOM
Approach thou like the Hyrcan tiger, the
rugged Russian bear.
LIndlady (enteringp-lIr. Thespius, l want to
know once for all when you intend to pay the
money you owe mey
,on
the rehearsal Take any shap- but that, and
my firm nerves shall never tremble. Lincoln
Journal
At the organization of a Young Women's
Anti-Slang society in Chrisdale o., a few
evenings ago, Of the young lady members
said 70 another: We'll we've got the boss
president, anyhow" You bet" replied her
friend, there's no flies on her II is hoped
the society will accomplish much good for it is
about time slang had gone where the woodbine
twineth. 1t makes us tired.-NOrriStotUp
Herald
He was brought before a Texas Judge on the
charge of drunkenness.
''Do SoItplead guilty or not guilty?n
Il dou' plead at all. deny everything"
'Doyod deny ever having been up here be-
foreg"
Il should smile. Why, Judge, deny being
here right now deny that you are here, or
ever have been here If you catch me giving
myself away just wake me up and let me know
it. "-Ierds Strings.
In THE FAMILY CIRCLE.-Mr. Oldsportte face
tiouslyD My dear, you complain that I do not
read aloud, as | once did. Now, yere's choice
item for your edifcaton: when foul flies are
squarey muffed, the fielder muffng the same
shall be charged with error. There, can
your feminine mind grasp that!
Mrs. O.-Certainly, my love. Now let me
read you sweet thing from my paper: list
row-Slip the first, then by turns purl . stitches
and knit 2. 2nd row-Slip the first then knit
=, put the wool over, slip rapeat from +; finish
by knitting /. 3D. row-Slip the first. then by
turns purl two stitches, and knit together the
next put-over and the slipped stitch that follows
it" There, can your mighty masculine mind
encompass thGt.-Edst End Cdl) Bulletin.