New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-09-03
THE T1LK or THE DAY.

Dir. william Gray's campaign song, "Tppecanoe
and Morton Too" set to tho original Tppecanoo
music, which was recently published In The Tribune,
particularly well adapted for In the campaign,
and he VIII doubtless receive many orders for 1t.
"And SO that's what yer call baseball game ~ said
! Farmer Clovertop after It all over.
And how did you like 1t, unclel" asked his city
wal. Tom, dom. know when was boy It
stossn the BAN back and forth for two mortal hours,
rs Tlic SLOW But Tom Who was was them fel,ers
capsp
Then why in time didn't they give them two feIiers
! lift Mighty mean 10 make EN- do all the work,
Tom Boston Transcript
man IN a small New England village has Just
been brought up before his church for encouraging the
use OF profane language. lie dog which he
has named Damage and Of course all the young
people the village naturally call the dog DAM
to the great scandal and annoyance OF the church
pillars, especially the dog always to
Dam"
Pa-what would you Like to DO when you grow up,
Johnny
JOHNNY think III be a soldier. -s..-.
You might get killed.
"By tho enemy, Of course"
(Texas sftings.
First San Francisco Citizen-I SEQ that Denis Kear-
ney Is doing good work for Harrison and Morton.
second san Francisco Citizen-why. thought he
talking against them.
eyes, that's what said.'
In Mississippi one of our teachers taught hor class
faithfully the golden text, Put off thy shoes from of
thy feet for the place wherein thou stsndest is holy
beT it, and she reced It hu MIS- Moses take
oil them shoes 7-(American Missionary
The people Of Fort Scott, Kansas, prayed for rasn
for several weeks, but 1t didn't come Then they ex-
ploded $50 worth of gunpowder, snd +; ralncd within
day.
Augustus De Carlyle-Ah, good evening, Miss Emma,
is your sster-ah-shc's singing in tho parlcr How
delightfully."- She renders that beautiful litte moroccan OF
Emmswha T'h Rey o. E Se ss Expecting
Fred Demores and mamma says she's OH he qii vive.
Exit Augustus.-(sprngheid Union.
When any measure comes before the Democrats Of
South Carolina they invariably ask two questions Is
II Democratici Is 1t Carollnan? II these tSo cues
lions DO answered in the Affirmative, Il is cnihusi-
astcally adopted, whether 1t Is good bad, or
foolish.
The Boss and the Jantor-stranger 60 shabby In
yPq The aniiodr OF t9s building nina
hat {, IS The ianitor;S
I" I am the proprietor hero.r-(Idncoln Journal
"PIns have saved the lives OF an immense number
Of people, said the small boy In his composition.
"why, how IS thatp asked the teacher In surprise
"By not swallowing them,' trumphanty replied
the boy.
In a similar way the Democratic frco-frado policy
will the industrial life of the Nation; for the
voters certainly won't swallow IT,
A New York firm has I'm press edition de luxe,
OF President Cleveands annual message illustrated by
Mast 1t appears that determined effort 4, TO be
made 10 have that document read An illustrated
holiday edition OF the census Of 1880 would attract
as many readers. lNorristown Herald
There is a parrot In Marietta Penn that talks free
trade, says recent dispatch. Well there are plenty
of free trade parrots much home than Marietta
Professor Rose, who hit this town last sprlnc 10 Get
up class In music and who has been here on nj,
uppegs since doesn't Ike way Of dealing with
him. Becauso wo suggested last week that he quit
dead beating and pick up The pick or shovel, he is
aOund town calling us fug tive from Justice and a,k
ing why the police don't do sOmethng Gently Pro.
fe,sOr. When We left Aen,, Ohio the Sheriff patteI
US on the back and lent "a, half dollar We are the
only man In this town who doesn't turn pale when
the stage comes In, and tho only who doesn't
break for the sage brush when IL Is announced thai
the United states Marshal Is here We ain't rich or
pretty but NO are good, and the Professor Is barking
up tho wrong tree We don't bear him any ulwill
but the Professor must retrac his statement about us
or we'll drop line TO Pinhrrton asking him II Yaller
jim, alias Professor Rose isn't wanted somew here
(AfzOna liowler.
" Don't ask a lady at dinner II She will have the
gizzard," says ST. Louis manual OF etiquette And
yet there people who think there is no culture west
Of tho Alleghanies.
NO" said Hodkn, when a typewriter girl applied
20 him for position, " cannot employ you In INV
office but, my dear young friend Is Il not home Won
arc In search of | am a widower and
stop beg Of you said the beautiful young
aypsxrtist, In sad, Tsgreifu voice, II am already
you.'-iNow Haven Nova