davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1888-10-29
Where do You Liver

| knew a man, and his name was Horner,
He used to live on Grumble Corner,
Grumble Corner in brass Patch Town,
And he never was seen without frown.
He grumbled at this; he grumbled at that;
He growled at tie dog; he growled at the cat;
He grumbled at morning; he grumbled at night; ];
To grumble and growl was his chief delight
He grumbled so much at his wife, that she
Began to grumbe as well as he;
And all the children, wherever they vent,
Reflected their pareuts' discomfort.
If the sky was dark and it looked like raln'
Then Mr. Horner would surely complain;
And II there was not a cloud in the sky,
He'd grumble because it was going to be dry
His meals were never to suit his taste;
He grumbled at having to eat in haste;
The bread was poor. or the meat was tough'
Or else he hadn't had half enough.
No matter how hard his wife might try
To please her husband with scornful eye
He'd look around, and then, with scowl
At something or other, begin to growl.
One day while lettering along the street,
My old acquaintance chanced to meet,
Whose face was without the look of care
And the ugly frown that it used to wear
sSl may be mistaken, pernapS, L salu
As after saluting turned my head,
"But it is why yes, the real MIR Horner,
Who lived for so long on Grumble Corner;"
1 met him next day, and met him again.
In sunny weather, in pouring rain,
When stocks up; when stocks were down;
But smile, somehow, had replaced the frown-
1t puzzled me much; and so one day
grasped his hand in a friendly way,
And said ssMr. Horner, I'd like to know
What in the world has changed you so?''
He laughed laugh that was good to hear,
For it told Of a conscience calm and clear,
And he said with none of his old-time drawl:
ssWhyI have changed my residence that is all y
ssChanged your resldence?' ''yes, ,''said Horner,
ssI found it unhealthy is Grumbe Corner,
And so | moved; the change was complete;
And now am living on Thanksgiving street,
Now every day as 1 move along
The streets so filled with the busy throng,
watch each face, and can easily tell
Where men and women and children dwell;
And MANY discontented mourner
Is spending his days on Grumbe Corner,
Sour and sad, whom long to entreat
To take a house on Thanks giving street.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1888-10-29

Called to OfQef-G06 WALTER
Hostile furniture-Armedc chairs.
The cream of society-ice cream.
The child of the seattle harbor buoy
In the human race the butcher holds
the steaks.
Twin sisters Miss management and
Misfortune.
How TO make a tall man short-Ask him
to lend you five dollars.
Interest is one of the important produc-
tions of the root of all evil.
A question may be queer, but the one
that asks it is the querist.
An ism in which there is not cent for
anybody-pauperism.
Some doctors are very disagreeable
creatures; being always out of patients.
Divorces would be unknown if there
was as much courting after marriage as
before.
Ouills are things that are sometimes
ions of another
Many man gets the reputation of be-
ing knowing man, who is simply an ow-
ing man.
Almost any grocer's clerk can sell four
brands of chewing tobacco out of pail
hidden under the counter.
| The most curious thing about false
| hood is that it can get over so much ter
ritory by simply lying around.
Farmer-After you get through dig
ging, what are you going to do? Amateur
| gardener-Put a porous plaster on my
back.
A Georgia farmer made 800 off an acre
planted to watermelons, and physician
in the neighborhood made 5000 off the
same acre.
What remarkable activity in leather,
said young market reporter when the
girls father helped him down the front
steps.
ssThe only reason why | got my ears
boxed" said Johnny, 'swas because when
mother said a neighbor had borrowed
hen of her, 1 said the lent-hen season had
arrived"
A bachelor, who particularly hated lit
erary women, asked an authoress If she
could throw any light on kissing, Il
could" said she, looking archly at him,
but | think it is better in the dark"
In Mississippi one of our teachers
taught the class faithfully the golden
text ssPut off thy shoes from off thy feet,
for the place whereon thou standest is
holy ground The next Sunday only
one girl could remember it, and she re-
cited it thus ''Moses, Moses, take of
them shoes"
''Why do you fill your paper with such
nonsense as this?" he said to the country
editor: John Smith of Pugville, is in
town calling on his many friends" just
then the office-boy poked his head in al
the door and said, ''Mr. Smith of Pug
vile wants fifty extra papers" "That's
why" explained the astute editor
81 had my picture taken to-day" said
little Christine. II crossed my arms and
leaned on a chair and the picture man
put my head in some tongs." ''Why, yoU
must have looked like lump of sugar in
sugar tongs," laughed papa. 'tWhy, SO
must have,' said Christine, delightedly
'scause the man kept saying, What {
sweet little girlr'
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1888-10-29

A party OF American gentleman. who
had been camping out on au island ln the
great Lake NipissinR. Canada, laat sum-
mor, were returning ln % wlI.b0at AuI
were yet seven miles from port when the
sun went down, and with it the sailing
breeze.
discouraging situation. truly
"Never mind, can row you there In.
side OF two hours. said Che guide who
had charge Of the party, as their murmur
arose
"Why, man, " ia seven miles, thcra are
four OF us 10 this heavy boai-its "a bIg
job you undertake, said one.
ono matter, have done thr uku- bo.
fore aud can do "a again, choeruliy re-
piled the broad.shouldorod lnshman, aa
be slowed away Che sail and bent to the
oars. lie was splendid oarsmau HHd
The boat was soon under hoadway aea.n.
"What would not give to enjoy youf
health and strength, remarked tho FRO.
fessor
eyes, am pretty healthy nnd though
/ am past sixty ! feel as strong aa eyrr."
replied the guide. "But only three years
ago / stood nt deaths door, Hnd mover
thought % pull an oar ngnin. You sDo. J.
was in the woods all wIntor. logging HHd
/ got into the water one day nud caught
cold. IL settled on any lungs aud D bad
bad cough which hung on uu Z ran down
almost 10 "a skeleton
"Call iu "a physician"
eyes, I went twenty miles through che
bush 90 see q doctor he gave mo some
medicine, bat 10 didn't help me mucb'
Glow was the cure cncctedY
"An old Scotch lady. who bad como
over from che States, gave mo IA prepan.
tion OF balsams aud herbs, which ahe aaId
the early settlers ln America used, 8nd il
soon stopped my cough and poe mo ou
my feet again."
One has but 30 travel along thu frontier
90 learn how easy it IA to gpt along with.
out doctors, and how effective ore iho
natural remedies which tho old grand.
mothers know how to prepare. They
often cure whore the best physicians n.l
Every mother of o. family knows haW
coughs aud colds are quickly und radical.
~ cured with syrups mod tgas mHdf from
balsams qua herbs which "gHndm1JHgr
taught us how to make"
Warmers Log Cabin cough and con.
sumption remedy was, after long iuyoat.
CATION into the merits und comparison
with other old time preparations selected
from them because proved to be tla NaN
best of them alb % bias brought back thD
roses TO many d pallId choek HthDre Ia H1
known remedy Co., equal pei cure l0r
coughs aud colds.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1888-10-29

In chronic cases of neuralgia, rheumatism, or
gout, where the disturbing cause is a certain acid
which poisons the blood, Salvation oil should be
used This powerful pain-destroyer will in time
dissolve the poison circulating in the blood, and
bring relief when all others fail. Price 25 cents.
The latest news from Zuuland comes by cable
The warriors have all married; they desire in the
future peace and happiness and enough Dr. Bulls
Cough Syrup for the next season.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1888-10-29

Mr. n. FL. Frohlichstein, of Mobile. Ala, writes !:
1 take great pleasure in recommending Dr. Kings
New Discovery for Consumption, having used it for
severe attack of Bronchitis and Catarrh. 1t gave
me instant relief and entirely cured me and I have
not been afflicted since. also beg to state that
had tried other remedies with no good result. Have
also ussd Electric Bitters and DR.. Kings New Life
Pills, both of which 1 recommend. DR.. Kings
New Dis overy for Consumption, Coughs and Colds,
is sold on positive guarantee. Trial bottles free
at H. C. Pierce's drug store
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1888-10-29

provided that you should have this
suit to wear" said grandfather, clasp
ing his thin hands; and Alf did n
doubt it now.
''Oh, Alf, suppose you had not
given up - whispered Sue.-Chrfs-
Hdn Weekly.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1888-10-29

Praise not the day before the evening
glow. You may praise Warmers Log
Cabin Sarsaparilla for purifying the blood
without danger for it brings the glow OF
health at once. The largest bottle on the
market. l2O doses for Sl.00. All drug
gists sell it.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1888-10-29

There are upon the skin Of every human heings
child and adult alike, 900 pores. Through
these pores in the form Of nscnsable Precipitation b.
expelled more than one-quartcr Of the nonrishmcnt
taken into the system. The Importance Of keeping
open these Precipitation valves upon chiid's body
is second only 10 that Of properly digesng ihe food
eaten II was 10 open the pores 81 The skin aud 90
assimilato the food that Or. Pitcher formulated
Castoria. Loose bowels, constipation, fevcra and
eruptions which are constant among Infants and
children, and which kin onc.thrd Of all childrcn
before they are Eve years old, arise principally
from these two causes. Il is from The wonderiul
results attendant upon the use Of Castora in rogu
lating the stomach and bowels and keeping open
the pores Of the skin that Castoua acquired De
worldwide reputation. with plenty Of water ior
the body pure air for the lungs and Castoria 90 as
simulate the food, there need be no unaceonntod iof
sickness among children. Castoria i vegetable
prescription without morphine or other narcotic
property. Thirty years extensive use has RiFch
Il a history never attained BY another medicine.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1888-10-29

Doa'r loi that cold of foHra fnn nH. anH @
mIsaluhf hmn nut i uaJ flu |HlH Hata.f ~"
into pneumonia. Or Consumption.
Catafrh IS disgusting. ruoumoufa H daNN.f"'.
Consumption i1 death ltsrI
Tho hronfhng aprhHtw muat h. h'Hi
.na clear of aIl absfrupilanr ua offensive WH
Otherwise thore e rauhie ahnaa.
Autho diseases of thrae phrIs. hr.H H0..i ''.."..
bronchial tuboa and luurs tan bU teNHht.Nf .""
esttrok cused by thf usc nl Mn.aHU.s Nf.#
syrup if you DON'T knou Hlls a'foadf thHa...
AND thaaauuds ofpeopIr ran trN fHH. iN.
been curcd 81 a. and "tnou hos pa le. iNea..
Battie only 10 oents. Ast uY druggist
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1888-10-29

awmily WHOM bold hrr HhH tH 1a inI Ihu.. '"..N
pimplcs With which Deg tl0 HI. "Hf'.H'. .'.
pow says fyou want pInl aul aIIfe .HWU.....H
with nice olgar smooth .llni fHu mH.' H.. II..'
beet 81 al blood pufhrIs. HuIpHuf NIu.IH.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1888-10-29

Brown-That's a handsome umbrella
you've got there, Robinson. Robinson
Yes. Brown-About what does u cost
to carry an umbrella like that9 Robinson
Eternal vigilance.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1888-10-29

A believer in grapes claims that
they are good for that mysterious
disease, malaria Eat oll sou cau.
but bc sure they are ripe, b. thD
ndKice.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1888-10-29
Where writing implements

Where writing implements are
used but seldom, the pens are apt
to be rusty. To prevent this keep
them in pearline, the compound used
for laundry purposes. Take small
dish. fll il with the powder, stick
the pens down into Il, and when
you want one you viii end IL nice
and bright.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1888-10-29

When Baby was sick we gave her Castoria,
When she was a Child, she cried for Castoria,
When she became Miss, she chung to Castoria,
When she had Children, she gave them Castoria,
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1888-10-29
And-ApoplectliIle
TRADE MARK.

TRADE MARK.
Is a combination of the most potentremedies known
Medical Science for preserving the Fluidity and
PURITY OF the Blood and the Integrity of the
Blood Vessels, should you suffer from Dizziness
Pressure in Head Spots before Eyes Pain Around or
Palpitation of Heart, Pain in Region of Heart with
feeling OF suffocation, Ringing Sound in Ears,
Numbness Prickiy sensation of Limbs, especially
the Arm, Pain between Shoulders and in Side Dry
Cough F1atulence, Sour Stomach, or if suffering
from General Debility with Loss of Appetite, pro-
cure bottle of AntiApoplectne, it not only
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1888-10-29
arleaas county MOnitnr,
PUBLISHED WEEKLY BY
GEO. H. BLAKE
RARTON, VT.

TERMs-WHEK PAID STRICTLY IN ADVANCE
.JoA YEAR. If not paid in advance S2oo
Tear. Subscribers living outside Orleans or
caledonia counties, $l.75 per year.
Keep subscription in Advance. Remit by F. o.
orIer, Registered Letter, or Draft
N Watch the label on your paper, and see that your
sredit Is right. II not correct send the money 70
bake it So or notify us of error by postal card
Rates of Advertising made known on apphca
lon All cuts must have metal body
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1888-10-29
BUSINESS DIRECTORY.

N ARTON NATIONAL BANK BUSINESS
y Hours from 9, a. m, to u, N. From to Il p
IN AMoRY DAWSON, Pres't, H. h DEWEY
M-ashier. Io-1
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1888-10-29

u. SHIELDS
EARPENTER AND JOINER, BARTON, VI
I JSatisfactiOn guaranteed in every respect. 10
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1888-10-29

~HARLES GRAVES, Special Agent for Cor
Jnecticur General Life Insurance Co., Barton,N
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1888-10-29

c. T. PERCIVAL.
AEALER IN FURNITURE, COFF1NS AND
EBCaskets, Barton, VT 1o-I
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1888-10-29
i. N. WEBSTER.

JOSIAH A. PEARSON.
NENTIsT, BARTON, VT OFFICE IN
Lowers Block 1o-
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1888-10-29

rC1IRE. LIFE. AND ACCIDENT INSURANCE
II AGENT. None but sound, reliable companies
represented. Correspondence by mail promptly an
,Tered. Barton, VT 1o-1
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1888-10-29
MRS. c. c. STEVENS.

Mrs. z.
ORAYON NPORTRAITURE. Pl1OIOGRAfnio i
iaDd otber pictures enlarged, either singly or IN
groups Work guaranteed Call on her, or address
at West Glover. 1of@
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1888-10-29

Il had my picture taken to-day" said
little Christine. II crossed my arms and
leaned on a chair and the picture man
put my head in some tongs." ''Why, you
must have looked like a lump of sugar in
sugar tongs," laughed papa. s'Why, SO l
must have" said Christine, delightedly,
'scause the man kept saying, What a
sweet little girl = .
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1888-11-22
WHAT SHALL TIE BOY STUDY?

Mr.. EDITOR: This question has often
troubled the mind of the thoughtful
country teacher. In the we'll regulated
graded schools Of towns and cities, teach.
ers are no, troubled inzthat way. Pupils
are, graded bx the Superintendent, and,
iftheysare not satisfied with.the grade,
they can just quit, and the quitting
brings no serious friction to the machin.
cry of the school. Not 80 in country
schools. Boys and girls go to school
and tell the teacher that they cannot 60
to school longer than one session, or al
best, otlonger than one year; and asks
to be allowed to study arithmetic and
only; arithmetic. The request may cotne
from the parent that The boy be allowed
to put his whole time on arithmetic. A
very little examination sufices TO con-
vince the teacher that the boy can not
read witia sufficient intelligence to com.
prehend the meaning of the simplest
problems found in the simplest arithrne-
tic. What must be done about it? Must
/, to crafty the wish of the patron and
of the boy himself, allow him to stumble
along in . bungling way through the
whole session, wasting his time and ener-
gies, and imbibing g. distaste for school
and school work thai will follow him
through life? Would that be right 2
How am to act?
Will some teacher answer? =
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1888-11-22
HIsTORICU.
The Underground River.

Blacks S. G., Nov. 1.-THE recently
reported discovery by the Byers Bros OF 8
cave or underground river on their land,
near Whittaker's Mountain, at Blacks,
attracted the attention Of party OF gen.
tlemen who chanced to meet at Charlotte.
They determined to investigate the matter
and have sunk shaft about fifty feet.
Until this morning nothing particular
was noticed, except that it was perfectly
dry while fifty feet away we'll forty feet
deep is so near full of water that one can
dip it out by the hand from the surface,
This led to the belief that at least a
hole and an abundant drain existed near
where they were working. This morning
the workmen pushed q bar into creyice
inside of the shaft and detached mass
of material, openings q small hole, from
and into which the air seemed to rush,
accompanied by loud noise as of escap..
ing steam, and the we'll vas soon filled
with vapor.
This phenomenon and the loud noise
frighten the workmep, who fled from the
work. The news soon spread, and q
large number of our citizens collected and
repaired to the scene, and dozen or
more descended the shaft and endeavored
to account for or discover the source of
the sounds, which were plainly heard on
the top of the ground, but more plainly
when in the we'll. All agree that it is
the sound of running water over shoal,
perhaps one hundred feet lower down,
and must be large stream. Rocks that
were taken from an old excavation still
on the ground show unmistaken signs of
the action of swift,moving water. The
sounds now heard are unmistakably those
of considerable underground river. 1t
is probable that twenty feet more oil ex.
cavation will have to be made before it
will be definitely known what is the ma
ture and extent of this body of moving
water, what the extent of the excavation
it has created in this vicinity and of
what value it may be as natural curios-
ity or point of interest. The men now
working are protected against any sudden
fall of the bottom of the shaft or roof of
the subterranean cavern.
Mr.. N. w. Hardin says it is to him
plainly waterfall of considerable size,
falling at least ten feet and removed two
hundred feet to the north of the SHAFT.
Ex-senator j. G. Black, Mr.. Reese, Mr..
Byers, J. F. Jones, and others, who de.
scended the shaft agree that the sound is
that of large stream flowing over shoals
Of frequent but not great fall, and that it
is nearly underneath the shaft and not to
exceed one hundred feet away, while
they believe twenty feet at most separate
the bottom of the shaft from the roof Of
the cavern. or underground chamber
through which the water passes.
The gentlemen who are bearing tue
expense will push the work to finish
and we shall soon be able to give you
more definite information Correspon
{encc Nears and Courier.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1888-11-22
a Glimpse Of o Waterspout.

Eye-witnesses describe the waterspout
as presenting most impressive and beau.
tiful spectacle. Informed about half way
between Point Clear and Battles wharf,
and proceeded slowly toward the shore,
roaripg at first with a very loud noise.
It struck Battles wharf near the shore
end and cut it off as nearly as ifit had
been sawed off. The spout sucked up
great lot of splintered wood and went
dashing inland, carrying with it mass
of whirling debris, in the midst of which
hundreds of fish were mingled. The
waterspout proceeded up the lane, tore
off the cornor of barn and then fell to
the ground with loud noise, depositing
the load of broken wood and fish. Capt.
LII. Kennerly gives graphic account
of the pheomenon. He says that he
watched the waterspout from beginning
to the end. There was very heavy
black cloud in the sky off the point, and
all the clouds in the neighborhood were
seen moving toward the centre ofhe black
cloud. lie knew then that waterspout
was forming, and called attention TO the
atmospheric disturbance. Presently the
water. about 100 yards off the end
of long wharf, began TO boil and wbirl
around with a loud noise. This whirl-
pool was directly beneath the black cloud.
The black cloud then formed in funnel
shape and let down point, revolving in
direction contrary to the whirlpool
below. Soun the two bodies of water
Joined in forming column about SO feet
in diameter in the middle and reaching
up about mile in the air. As soon as
the junction was formed the greater part
of the rushing water ceased. The column
stood apparently motionless for about
fifteen minutes, and had an angle with
the horizon of about sixty degrees: The
funnel at the top was dead black, but
the body of the waterspout was slate
color. At the bottom, where the
spout spread out into pyramid, the water
was green and white. 1t was magnih.
cent sight. Then the whole mass began
moving toward Battles, and came majes.
tica,ly along, bending moro and more as
it advanced. When it reached the shore,
Just where the wharfjoins the shore, the
s spout bent in the middle, and report OF
electric discharge and flash oflightnipg
announced that the spout was broken.
The greater part of the water was sucked
up in the heavens as the spout parted in
the middle, aud the remainder fell Win
q grea. noise, envelopipg the wharf ano
breaking it down for distance OF per-
haps fifty feet, reaching from the shore
TO a small house situated on the wharf.
The effects of the spout were felt on
land slightly. Il was only a remnant OF
the gyrating water that hit the house on
land, and the damage resulting was
small.-Jfobile Register.