St. Paul daily globe., 1888-08-05
SABBATH CREAM.
Wit and Wisdom CuIled From
ManV Sources


"What beautiful peacbes," said an
old lady, as she stopped at stall in the
market and admired basket of early
peaches. They were covered with a
pink gauze and looked very tempting.
The old lady bought the peaches and
took them home. The next day she ap-
peared again at the stall and showed the
Stallkeeper small piece of pink net.
''Do you keep that kind of yelling for
sale?" she asked.
The stallkeeper told her he did not.
"Well," she said, ''When | got them
peaches home, they were small, and
sour and green, and thought if could
get some of that stuff that made them
look so pretty and plump in the basket,
I'd wear it myself. If it would improve
me as much as it did the peaches, folks
would think I'd found the Elijah of
life"
They were on their bridal tour. and
she said gayly: ''Now, Fred, we don't
want everybody in the car to know that
we are newly married, and have them
all staring at us. Let us act like real
old married people. It'll be such Jolly
fun
''All right" said Fred calmly. "You
just let me have that end of the seat:
it's lots pleaSanter than this. I'll take
the pillow, too, and l guess I'll go to
sleep for three or four hours. You
waken me when we come to the dinner
station. Spread that shall over me,
and ="
''Oh, I don't care who knows that
we're just married." she said. ssSit
where you are, dear, and hold my
hand"
Housekeepers who complain of their
help will probably cease to do so after
reading the subjoined telegram from
Chambersburg. Pa: ''Minnie Cookie.
is a colored girl sixteen years old.
Minnie and her mother had a quarrel
the other day, and, becoming very boist-
erous, the two were arrested. While in
Magistrate Haulman's office Minnie
made use of sixty Oaths, and was fined
67 cents for each one. Not having the
necessary S40.20, the magistrate sent her
to Jail for sixty days" Minnie, by the
by, can hardly be as good ''Cookie''
as are the cookies" described ip.the
cook books of the day. Topsy, i'm all
her wickedness, was hardly a circum-
stance to her.
Recently there was gathering of
young married couples, and the CONVEX
Satlon turned on the manner in which
the wives had secured their husbands.
One had paved the way to the altar by
making face at the fated one because
she thought he had stared at her impu-
IDENTIFY. He admired her mettle and
sought an introduction. Another made
the acquaintance of the man VINO is now
her husband by accidentally sousing
him with a pan of dishWater, which she
tossed out of the kitchen window into
an alley just in time to catch him as he
was passing. The one that was, how
ever, voted to be the most novel was
the experience of young man con-
nected with the municipal government.
The latter was in the habit of passing
on his way home the residence of the
young lady who is now his better half,
and one evening, out of spirit of mis-
chief, she accidentally ON purpose'
turned the hose on him. He faced
about, blushed violently and stammered
a ''thank you" in response to her
roguish smile, and from that moment
he knew he was faIed.
~
The other day DR.. Mary Walker, who
continues to be one of the curiosities of
Washington, asked the president for an
interview, but did not get it. On her
way to the White house the doctor
stopped at the treasury department and
rode up stairs in an elevator. One of