New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1888-03-21
WEDDING Etiquette.
Social Requirements of the Event.
Obligations of Bride and Groom.

Social Requirements of the Event.
Obligations of Bride and Groom.
The etiquette of weddings, says Har-
per's Bazaar, is remotely founded on the
early savage history of mankind, and
which bears fruit in our later and more
complex civilization, still reminding US
Of the past. In early and in savage
days the man sought his bride heroicly,
and carried her off by force. The Tar
tar still does this, and the idea only was
improved in patriarchal days by the
purchase of the bride by the labor Of
her husband, or by his wealth in focks
and herds. It is still a theory that the
bride is thus carried off. Always, there
fore, the idea has been cherished that the
bride is something carefully guarded,
and the groom is looked upon as sort
OF friendly enemy, who comes to take
away the much-prized object from her
loving and jealous family. Thus the
Long-cherished theory bears fruit in the
English ceremonial, where the only car
rage furnished by the groom is the one
in which he drives the bride away to
the spending of the honey moon. Up
to that time he has no right of proprie-
torship. Even this is not allowed in
America among fashionable peopie, III.
brides father sending them in his own
carriage on the first stage Of their jour
ney. It is not etiquette for the groom
to furnish anything for his own we'd
ding, but the ring and bouquet for the
bride, presents for the bridesmaids and
and best man, and some token to the
ushers. He pays the clergyman.
He should not pay for the cards, the
carriages, the entertainment, or any
thing connected with the wedding.
This is decided in the high court of ETH
quette. This is the province of the
family of the bride, and should be in
sisted upon. If they are not able to do
this, there should be no wedding and
no cards. It is better for portionless
girl to go to the alter in travelling dress,
and to send out no sort of invitations or
| wedding cards, than to allow the groom
to pay for them. This is not to the
disparagement of the rights Of the groom.
1t is simply proper and universal Ell
quette.
At the alter the groom, if he is mil
lionaire, makes his wife his equal by say
ing: with all my worldly goods
thee endow;" but until he has uttered
| the words she has no claim on his purse
for clothes, or cards, Of household fur
nishing, or any thing but those articles
which come under the head of such gifts
as is lovers privilege to give.
Suppose, as was the case twice last
winter, that an engagement Of marriage
is broken after the cards are out? Who
is to repay the bridegroom if he has paid
for the cards? Should the father of
the bride send him check? That
would be very insulting, yet family
would feel nervous about being under
pecuniary Indebtedness to discarded
son-in-law. The lady can return her
ring and the gifts her lover has made
her; they have suffered no contact that
will injure them. But she could not
return shoes or gowns or bonnets.
It is therefore wisely ordered by
| etiquette that the lover be allowed to
| pay for nothing that could not be re-
turned to him without loss, if the en-
gagement were dissolved, even on the
wedding morning.
Nothing is more honorable than a
marriage celebrated in the presence only
of the father, mother, and priest. The
young people, unwilling or unable to
have splendid dresses, equipages, cards
and ceremony, can always be married in
this way, and go to the senate or White
House afterward. They are not hamper
ed by it hereafter. But the bride should
not forget her dignity. She should
never let the groom pay for cards, OF
for anything, unless it is the marriage
license, wherever it is needful in this
country, and the clergyman's fee. If
she does she puts herself in false posi-
ton.
It is the privilege of the bride to name
the wedding day, and Of her father and
mother to pay for her trousseau. After
the wedding invitations are issued she
does not appear in public.
The members Of the brides family go
to the church before the bride; the
bridegroom and his best man await
them at the alter.
The bride comes last, with her father
Or brother, who is to give her away.
She is joined at the alter steps by her
fance, who takes her hand, and then
she becomes his for life.
All these trifes mean much, as any
one can learn who goes through with
the painful details of a divorce suit.
Now when the circle Of friends on
| both sides is very extensive, it has of
| late become customary to send invita-
lions to some who are not called to the
wedding breakfast, to attend the cere-
mony at the church. This sometimes
takes the place of issuing cards. No
one thinks Of calling on the newly mar
ried who has not received either an in
vitation to the ceremony at church or
cards after their establishment in their