The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-16
BRIGHT BITS.

TEACHER-What is the plural of childr Boy
tpromptly)-Twins.- Topics.
FUNNY, isn't it, that after man has once
given his word he should try SO hard to keep it.
st At6dnS Messenger
STRAWBERRIES are always quoted at so much
per box This is we'll The Sox should not
be overlook. Huntington Free FreSs
THAT Tennessee clergyman who inherited q
fortune of So,OOO,000 now asserts that the story
of Dives is an interpolation. "-MdTthd'S Vine
yard Herald
WIFE-John, do you know If Rev. DR. Jones'
church will be open next Sunday
Husband absent minded) Yes, the side door
will-NeU York san.
WHEN the pompous porter of tho palace car
appeared on the scene, the little girl exclaimed:
'Oh ma, didn't know Mr.. Pullman was a
coored manH-KenEebec Journal
MAN in town MT n thousand miles from
Bangor is trying the experiment of grating
apple twiggs into a pine tree. He wants to
ralsa pineapples. Bangor Commercial
How do you think Thurman will RUM" asked
q politician of a base ball enthusiast
"Thurman?N said the latter. (which nine
has he signed with?"-NorriStOion Herald.
SrRANGER-Wha is this? Ink, pens and pa
per one thalerl What writing have you had to
DO for me?
Landlord-Why, the bill !-FYtegende Batter.
THE proposed form of capital punishment for
v.
In New York city it is not necessary to commit
a murder to be experimental on.-TerdS
SUtings.
COUNTRY BRIDE lin uptown hoteD-What's
the matter with the lettuce, John?
Groom (who has deluged it with oil and sugar.
-Suthin's wrong withthe dinged vinegar.-NeIO
York san.
FINE NEWSPAPER ABILrTY.-Citizen Ito editor
of new paper)-Is your partner in the new ven
ture good newspaper man, Mr. Shears?
Editor-One of the best | ever met. He has
SO, 900 in cash.-1he Epoch.
A LADY SUBSCRIBER wants "a sure recipe to
keep jellies from molding " Place the jelly on
the supper table and tell the children to help
themselves. We've seen heaps of preserves also
saved that way.-DetrOit Free Press.
YOUNG DE LYLE-Aw, there is a cigar butt
that prize highly Miss Maude It's the we
mains of a cigar the pwince of Wales gave me
when was ovah lahst season.
Miss Maude much ted)-Indeed, how
nice, And who smoked it, Mr.. de Lyle, the
prince:-Ne'C York Sun.
NEWSPAPER HUMoRrsT (sarcastically to his
best girl)-People may sheer and laugh at my
special line Of work, but it brings me in the
dollars just the same.
Best Girl (reproachfully)-I hope, Charley,
you don't include me. | never think of laugh.
ing at your work.-NelU York sun.
"wHr Charles Q. P. Smyth. where have you
been half the night? And what a state you are
in I'm perfectly ashamed of your
Don't shay word Mira, I've been down
1.-THE club, 'ncouraging my boom. F things go
as feel now, I'll betchy s. I'll he anonymously
animated for congress next fall."-Springfeld
Union.
A BUTCHERS WIFE called on a neighbor to in
qure after her young hopeful aged weeks
THE little fellow Is getting on splendidly" was
the proud mothers reply; Il only wish he were
a little stronger and bigger Fancy, he only
weighs seven pounds"
All with or without the bones?"-P Progress
de BOtbec.
YOUNG LADY, heard somebody kiss you in
the dark hail last night.
Mad-You got kissed too.
YES, but that's tho young man to whom
am engaged to be married. There is no harm
in that" All
I'm glad to hear it. He was the young man
you heard kissing rue in the hall last night"
Young lady faints-Terds Siftiitgs.