Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-06-01
MR. and MRS. BOWSER.

MR.. AND MRS. BOWSER
qs there anything the matter
with YOU p asked Mr.. Bowser the
other evening as he suddenly look
ed up.
"No, certainly not. Do | look
bad 2"
"Your looks are all right, but
YOU seem nervous and uneasy. |
didn't know but your corns had
come back"
w-I-'
"You-you-whatp "
T was wondering if you were
going to York State to see your
mother this spring"
"And suppose | go!"
"Then | shall clean house. 1t IS
two years, you know, since we had
a carpet up"
"And if | don't go?"
was silent.
"Look here, Mrs. Bowser,' said
my llege lord in a sharp voice,
"you can't lay this on to me! You
want TO pretend that if | am
home through hOuse-cleanlng, I'll
prance around and raise the old
Harry, and you want to get me
into the papers as raising a great
FUSS"
"But won't you p
"Won't /. Don't | know that
house-cleaning should come once a
year Don't | like it Did my
mother ever clean house without
me ?"
"And / may go ahead, and will
you help mei"
"Of course you can 60 ahead,
and 1t so happens just now that
I've four or five days to spare. I'll
begin right of nOw."
"You are so good, Mr.. Bowser,
that | must kiss you. There, take
that
"Oh, pshaw ! I'm good, of course,
but no better than a husband
ought to be. I'll get the step-lad-
der and begin by taking the pic
lures down."
81 suppose You could get a COL
ored man to do the climbing and
lifting"
eyes, but / won't. want no
stranger rambling through our
house and picking up things"
He got the ladder and began
work, and from the way he whis'
tied think he enjoyed it for about
half an hour. In that time he
took down dozen pictures and
carried 'em up two flights of stairs
to the storeroom, but as | went up
with the duster he said:
"Why didn't | think to put an
elevator into the housel And the
man who made this step-ladder
ought to be shot, | believe I've
climbed a mile or more. What
you got therei"
"The duSter."
"What forW
"To dust the pictures with"
"n'm! Well, hand it hereW
He came down twenty minutes
later, his collar all limp, his hair
damp and his face covered with
dust, and as he sank into a chair
with groan | said:
81 thought it would be too much
for you,"
"Oh, you did Well, | want you
to understand that it is simply fun
for me. I'll make this house look
sick before tomorrow noon, and
before night we'll be all through
with house cleaning"
"NOt quite as soon as that"
"Won't We? See if we don't.
This taking a week or ten days to
do a little cleaning is played out.
| don't propose to dillydally oyer
this job"
That night when he went to bed
he groaned and sighed, and in his
sleep he muttered and scolded, and
about midnight he walked me up
by saying:
"You bet / will! III finish the
whole thing by noon'
Mr.. BOwser acted sore and stiff
next morning, but after breakfast
he put on an old suit of clothes and
began work. We decided to clean
the parlor first, and he moved out
all the furniture with a whew. In
his whew he tore down the poles
at the bay window, ripped one of
the curtains two feet or more, up
set a chair and broke the back,
and in pushing the piano out he
skinned all his knuckles and broke
his susDendeIs at one and the same
instant. lie jumped three feet
high in his indignation, and as he
came down he turned on me with {:
"Where in blazes is the AK, or a
sledge.hammer, or a maui, or some
thing to knock this Internal piano
to pieces!"
"Mr. Bowser, suggested that
You get man to help you"
ooh, you did Why didn't you
suggest that | set the house on fire