Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1888-06-08

been glad did On several occasions
l have used them TO bring Mr.. Bowser
dow off his high horse, and the fact
that they bother his peace OF mind is
proved by the other fact that he has
several times hunted the house over
In my absence in hopes to lay hands
on them.
Something went wrong at the office
the other day and he came home can
tankerous. He held in until we got
to the supper table, and then broke
out with:
Got any name for these things
here p
''Y es, dear. Those are called bis
cult"
well, the man who calls 'em fit 10
eat ought TO be shot! Mrs. Bowser,
why is it can never get anything de-
cent to eat in my home?"
why, Mr. Bowser! No one could
take more pains than we do. In or
der that the biscuit might be extra
good | went out and made them my
self"
"Humph -
There was time, Mr.. Bowser,
when you just raved over my cook
ing
Never, | knew from the day | set
eyes on you wading across mud
puddle that you could never cook.
You can sing very well-as well as
some bad actresses-but you can't
cook
And if | will prove that you once
hungered for my cooking you will
Il will give you $50 cash in hand"
After supper l went upstairs and
brought down several letters. Mr..
Bowser had got his nose into n maga-
zine and wanted the matter dropped,
but | read TO him the following eX-
tract
And / thought, darling, while eat
ing supper that night, how proud |
should be over your delicious cookery
when we have home of our own. The
thought of those biscuits alone makes
me hungry. Goodbye, my pet
who wrote that p sternly demand
ed Mr.. Bowser
You did"
"When?'
Three months before our mar
riage."
Never
But here's the letter, dated and
signed"
1T is base forgery, and the forger
must beware How could | have
praised your cookingY'
"You also used to praise my singing,
Mr.. Bowser."
Never
"Oh, but you did. Let me read
"'And, precious pet OF mine, let Inc
again thank you for that beautiful
song, "The Lovers Farewell, and the
exquisite manner in which you rem
dered it. 1t drew tears from my eyes,
and / was not ashamed OF them. You
have one of the purest, clearest voices
/ ever heard. ."
who wrote that p he gasped.
You did
Mrs. Bowser, don't carry this thing
too far There is limit beyond
which you must not gow
"Well, here it is, in your own sigma
ture. Once in while you fling out a
hint that am very dull. There was
a time when you thought different. ="
Look out, Mrs. Bowser."
"Yes, you did! You even thought
me the smarter Of the two"
"W-what Am awake or dream
ingT
wide awake, Mr. Bowser. Let me
read you an extract from this exhibit
marked A:
81 don't see why you should go
back to Vassar. Few young ladies are
more accomplished or better educa-
ted. All your friends, myself inclu-
ded. give in TO you, on the matter Of
grammar in particular. Hope to see
you as usual next Sunday, my dear
little honeysuckle. ="
"Mr. Bowser sat and looked at me
like one terrified.
"And, sir, you often fling out about
the size Of my feet. / admit they are
as large again a. i should have or
dered from dealer, although ] wear
No. 3's with great deal Of comfort.
Let me say, however, that your moth
er wears 6's, your three sisters SIS, and
the two girls you kept company with
before we met wear full-sized SIS with
very broad toes"
Mrs. Bowser, do you suppose / will
stand such insults in my own house y
he shouted as he sprang up.
''Are facts and truths insults? have
been reading from your letters"
Never Neverr' IL / ever wrote
such stuff / was crazyw
But here is your signature. You
you wanted me to sign my
letters Rosebud and you signed
yours Oak Leaf"
Il never did, No power on earth
can convince me that was any such
fool as thatr'
well, perhaps you will remember
this sentence. You wrote it a few
bsfore our marriage. Listen: