The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-20
BRIGHT BITS.

MAGISTRATE Ito witnessl-Do you know the
| nature of an oath, Uncle Rastus?
Uncle Rastus-I reckon does, yo honah- Ise
owned balky mule for foahteen ya'.-Ne,o
York Sun.
THIRTEEN pretty red-haired girls were counted
in school-teacher's excursion in Philadelphia
recently. They were the most attractive girls
IN the procession, but they stampeded every
livery stable they marched paSt.-BWdette.
JUST as the spring poet timdly opened the
sanctum the telegraph editor, who was filling in
dispatch said the chief: "Shall l put a big
head on it?' Then the building shook as the
spring poet fastened down stairs.-Ihe Epoch.
YES" said a North Pearl street clerk to-day
Il was broken all up by an ice gorge right here
last August. 1t was an ice-cream gorge my
regular girl INDUCED in and cost me 81 rs.
was in melting mood, and paid it"-AL6any
Journal
GEORGE" asked the teacher of a Sunday
school class, whom above all others, shall you
wish TO see when you get to Heaven"
With face frightening up with anticipation
the little fellow shouted: "Gerliah !''-Boston
Christian Register.
DE sAPPY, ole fell what are all these twists
we wead about in the papersY''
Must he some big cwedit scheme, lie Sawft "
"Gwacious! You don't say hope a spwng
suit twust will be started, doncher know. -
Pittsbug Chronicle.
ToBACcoNIsT CUsToMER-The figure of the
Indian is all right and true to nature, but
rum in his hand.
Sign Sculptor Reckon you've never seen
live injun, boSs-Tid- Bits.
Now that the theatrical season is drawing to
close, fashion journals make the announce
ment that the spring and summer hat will be
lower in the crown than during the winter. This
is what we should call the Internal unfitness of
things. Herald.
SPA, " said little Johnny, teacher is thinking
about promoting me-
How do you know"
From what she said to-day"
And what was that?n
''She said if kept on I'd belong to the Grim
inal class. N--Merchdnt Traveller.
.'sEE. father" said a son, with the proud con-
seriousness OF duty done, 81 have saved $500
from my years allowance"
GOOD, =" exclaimed the old man; "you are a
wise young fellow, Charley"
Yes, father, and wish you would add $500
to it; I've got 20 pay some debts The Epoch
UNc' OBADIAH ToBEY listening to to the
'whiz-z-zz' of the wind through the telegraph
wires)-"My LAM Spec dem telegraph hopper
tRterS can onderstan' dat ar langwidge. But
Dress my stars! couldn't extinguish one word
OBJ it-not eff de angel Gabriel hissef war a-tele-
| gramin fur de soul ob ole Unc' Obedlah ~
| Hdrpers Weekly.
| PAPA (severely)-Did you ask mamma il YOU
could have that apple?
| Three year old-Yes, sir.
Papa-Be careful, now. Ill ask mamma
and if she says you didn't ask her I'll whip you
for telling story. Did you ask mammaY
Three-year-o -Truely. papa, l asked her
| CA pause She said couldn't have it-Phila
| delphid call
Ma said little Johnny Snooper, "why do
| they always put In a scythe when they make
| picture of Timer"
ITO repre- ent the shortness life, Johnny;
| Time cuts people down, you know"
"But when Time shall be no mower he IL drop
| his scythe, won't he's
Its time for you to go to bed, Johnny "
| Philadelphia 1T8te5
Miss BUNKER, of Boston, don't like to speak
| i'll of Penelope Beacon. mamma, because we
| have always been friends but think she is in
judciouS, to say the least. You know how
| difficult it is to stop Mrs Grundy when she once
| begins to talk.
Mother-Heavens, dear what do you
mean2
Miss Bunker Gmpressvely) --Penelope ap-
| peared at church last Sunday without spec
tacleS.-TId- Bits