The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-04-04
SIX MONTHS OF NIGHT.

An Imaginative Sketch of Domestic
Life When the North Pole is Town.
From. the San francisco Chronicle.
If they ever find the North Pole and it
becomes colonized they're going to have an
awful time of it. They will have daylight
six months and darkness six months out of
the year There is certain limit of trou-
BILE and ingenuity bey ond which immortality
will not go. The limit is far enough off at
the best, but if it were night for six months
on end what would become of us! Hus-
bands would never go home at all. Parties
would only be divided by the time neces-
sary to recruit exhausted nature; woman
would need a new dress every four hours
because she couldn't go to more than two
parties in the same dress, and it would be an
awful hardship to do even that They
would say:
"Why, do look at Mrs. -. She wore
that same dress at the Smiths just ten hours
ago"
Are you going to the theater nowP
mo; saw the piece already tonight"
"Get up"
"What time is itr
Don't know; but put you to bed in a
miserable condition six hours since, and we
are due at the Jones'"
''Well wait till get my breakfast or sup
per or dinner; which is it, anyhow
Don't remember; it is my one hundred
and sixteenth meal this season"
| Don't light the gas yet. [ only saved
81 200, 900, and that gas bill is getting prodig
ious. A new dress! That's the fifteenth
in IT'S hours"
"Great Scott the meters busted and the
electric wires broken. Where are my
| boots"
And the daylight would be confusing. A
man would never know when to leave his
business. Newspapers would be published
| just when everything happened, which
would be very frequently.
'Come on; let's go home"
Hold on; Just one game more"
"We've been at it just forty-eight hours
now by the watch"
''Wheres my dinner!"
REALLY, my dear didn't think it was SO
long since the last meal, and I've been shop
ing"
."Shopping! You came home from shop
| ping just before l went out, and woke me
up to borrow money for car fare"
"This bonnet is all worn out. can't be
seen on the street with it again"
Julius Caesar! You've only had it two
hours"
YES, but every woman know has seen
| it by this time"
Got a lawn tennis party in fifteen min
utes, you sayl Well, you've only come in
from boating. You won't see the winter if
you go on like this. No, l haven't had but
| three drinks since left home"
"By the way, John, want you to drive
me out to the park"
Il can't; Pm sleepy. I've been up thirty
six hours"
well, I've only seen you fifteen min
utes.n
81 can't help that; you know perfect well
| the photographing business will have to
shut up pretty soon, and I've got to make
all can out of itnow"
just think, however, the trying position
of men who would like to get full.
"Look at Mr.. Jonesl Well, | never!
| Staggering along the street in broad day
light! l am ashamed Of him!"
And all the neighbors watching Jones
| trying to find keyhole in the fence, and,
perhaps, taking his clothes off outside of
the door. OF course there would be COM
pensation for such people in the winter.
Night was evidently intended by nature to
enable the exercise of the Objectionable
propensities of the human, anyway.