The Press., 1888-11-01
A VINE.

"Dovn there' was the few square feet of soil which made up the front lawn of our residence, and as we were sitting at the head of the flight of brown stone steps which led to our front door, naturally we were at some 1 elevation over the lawn. ;; It was a relief to me to find that my wifeis mind was dwelling only upon vines I had joined new club the week before, and had been expecting some little interrogations con- corning initiation fees, dues, etc, all prof fered so civilly and sourteously that 1t would | be impossible to withhold the desired infor- nation, albeit knew that following such | conjugal interchange of confidence would probably come gentle reminder that i've must be sure to lay in the coal in August, as the papers anticipate strikes next winter." l replied most cordially to the vine sug- gestion, IA capital idea. You mean it, of course, to be trained up the house frontT' | "Oh, yes," said Mrs John. '1t will have to be wired up, you know, and then trained out about each window. We have taken the house on long lease, and it will pay to make such small improvements to the prop erty."
 assented with sufficient heartiness, still little fearful that another silence on my wife's part might evolve some reference to club matters. But Mrs. John was absorbed with the vine. It and her imagination were grow ing together.
 "I shall get some sort of free growing ivy, think, she went on runinating. "I don't like big leaved vine or a sprawling growth up house side-something clinging and close, sending its slender tendrils out in ef- fective tracery of rich green against the stone"
 "Like woman's love-" ventured, knock ing the ashes off the end of my cigar, and when the words rang out on the cool night oS.
 painfully flat note.
 "If you mean that a woman's love is 8 rich green,p said my wife coldly, 1T agree with you. The woman and the love are both richly green to bestow themselves upon the average man. John," she broke of quite irrelevantly, "don't read so many cheap novels. Stick to your business and your clubs-oh, by the way, is the Pelham really startedg'
 E The Pelham was the new club The cool night air was no longer cool
 ''The Pelhamg' I repeated. "Oh, yes, the Pelham" foundering easily and hopelessly. "I believe it opens shortly. I'll tell you what I'll do, Nan, about that vine I'll stop at the florists in the morning and send him over to see you"-and then the baby cried and Mrs. John sought the seclusion of the second hooI front.
 That is how the vine started, or, to be strictly accurate, that is how the vine did not start. r'+
 The next evening when approached my home shortly before the. dinner hour. gave the premises the usual inspection which a man is apt to bestow when heis rather Tsroud than otherwise of his place, and was for . moment surprised to discover a wire cable about one-eighth inch in diameter stretching from the little mat of turf inside the iron fence away up to the roof of the three story and basement house, and, for aught knew to the contrary. considerably further. As far as the naked eye could reach perpendicu- larly the wire went
 For g moment said was surprised, but second glance downward showed me a small plant, perhaps six inches in height, from whose very heart apparently the formidable length of the wire took source
 "Ahp reflected with 8 smile. s'Mrs Johns vine has become an established fact.n
 And may as well state right here that the vine seemed entirely content to exist merely in that capacity. -E@
 At first, of course, we expected nothing more from it than to get used to its new sur roundings, drop its underground anchors, settle itself to work as 1t were-but when 6 week had passed and the vine had not seen fit to take on a single additional leaf, much less add to it's stature by even the fraction of an inch, ventured to ask my wife if she had carried out her expressed intentions and procured 8 "free grower" -....-'a .s.. ..-
 ''Oh, yes, indeed the florist selected 1t him. self; he said that it was remarkably prolific in growth, and that by fall it would make fine showing" .....e < @..@=
 ""Well," replied, facetiously, "all can say Is the sooner it gets down to business the better for the showing" Several more days passed with the interesting specimen of dori- culture remaining in statu quo. s
 know what's the trouble with that vine of yours, Mrs John" remarked as we were sitting again upon the doorstep after dinner. and as usual viewing the estate .s
 "Whatp' asked nay wife, quickly betraying her anxiety in the matter.
 "1t's discouraged, /" was my reply; ssyou've given it too much wire; it's enough to take the ambition out of the most enthusiastic grower. can imagine the poor thing gag ing up that stretch of cable, saying to itselG What do they take me for3 wonder if they think am Standard Oil company vine: even an octopus couldn't reach that length, and words to that effect. You know how it is yourself, if you will pardon the slang. Set yourself too much to do and you feel at once unequal to anything. Sydney Smith says, Take short views, 2" I continued. warming with my subject, particularly as my wife made no reply, ''and it's good, sound UO VAHGS as well as D@os pie. If you had carried the wire up to the parior window only, at first, and coaxed the vine that far, it would have seen that, taking the thing by easy stages, even the roof was not inaccessible. But to have it's whole life work laid out on the start has broken its spirit, crushed it's enterprise, overwhelmed it'sr--F
 "Barker's, that's the name," interrupted my wife suddenly and wholly unintelligibly. s'Excuse me, John, were you speakinga I've been trying to recall the name of fertilizer Uncle Joe uses on his farm. don't think this city soil is rich enough The vine needs more nourishment."
 You might give it course of cod liver oil or few bottles of beef, wine and iron," replied with some asperity.
 The fertilizer was bought and freely ap piled, but at the end of a week the vine still remained a passive and apparently uninter- ested spectator. '. se '''It won't do, Annie," said, "Barkef's isn't strong enough. That bit of botany down in the yard there wants a summer at the seashore, a winter in Florida and a spring 2 at German spa would also recommend free massage treatmentn
 To tell the truth, tke vine was becoming an incubus. The neighEors on the block mani tested an uncomfortable interest in it They 4 looked in curionsly only at first, then rather derisively, and now when they passed an ex- precision of contemptuous pity stole over their countenances that was not agreeable We had lived 30 little time in the neighb0Tho06 that felt our reputation was not sufficiently ~ HA N a Al x