The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-11-05
FUN IN A NEW ORLEANS COURT.
An Interesting Incident of Over Half
a Century ago

AN Interesting Incident OF over Half
a Century q ago.
Charles Gayore in Harper's Magazine.
On certain occasion there was great excite
ment in the city Two eminent citizens had
quarrelled about a hog 1t was a question of
the identity OF the animal, and impossible to
doubt their good faith. They became irritated
and more obstinate in proportion to the prolon-
| cation of their dispute. At last it evident
that there would be yielding either side.
and they went to law. Moreau Lislet was re-
tanned for plaintiff, and MaZureau for defend
ant-two of the magnates of the bar-and fees
were paid them immensely larger than the value
| OF the hog. On the day of trial the court room
was crowded to suffOcation, for much fun
| expected. 1t was of course, jury case. Moreau
Lislet read the petition, in which the hog
was infinitely described and asserted to be a
blooded one, worth $500. The answer was
general denial, putting plaintiff full proof of
what he alleged. 1t seems there was but one
witness to identify the hog The witness was
sworn, and confirmed the description in the
petition. He was a farmer of the parish Of st.
Bernard, about 60 years old, of ponderous
frame. He evidently was very little accustomed
to the position he had been called to. His
whole face expressive of primitive limo
cence. After this witness had concluded his
testimony IN favor of the plaintiff, Moreau
Lislet said, THE witness is yours MIR. Mazur-
eau
"A IazuIeau fixed on the witness his dark impe.
rious eyes, aud said, with affected emphasis
and in his most effective dramatic style 'Sir.
IN a case of the utmost Importance, although it
may appear trifiing to your simple understand
ing. 1t is not merely hog question; it is
question OF honor, whether one of our most
respected fellow citizens unjustly, unlawfully,
and fraudulenty retains in his possession prop
erty that belongs to another. | put you on
your guard for your own sake. You may be in
dicted for perjury IL the SLIGHTEST willful inaccu-
curacy in your evidence shows that you do not
speak the truth, the whole truth, and nothing
but the truth Besides, you may be sued for
Of tho itrit VfflfU ms
DO TO the defendant reputation.
NOW, contInGed biazuIreau, Il compliment
you, sir: on your minute description of the
plaintiff s hog, which is missing from his pen.
Will not cross examine you on the subject. I
am fun of admiration for your memory, and l
want you to be equally particular about defend
that they are exactly alike At this point the
mplacable tormenter began to puncturo and
scarify The witness, much to the merriment of
the bystanders. what do you know of hogs!
Whence your extraordinary faculty to discrinl-
mate among them and so wildly to remember
their respective physiognomy? How long have
you lived with them? What opportunity had
you to examine the defendants hog and the pc
culiarity of its formation? Have you measured
its ears its tall its legs, its nose, the length and
hight of its body? / want to know whether in
all these details the defendants hog is ex-
actly like the plaintiff missing one"
All these questions and many. others had
been successfully put to the witness, who had
been driven almost to the verge of desperation.
At last, being made conscious by the Incessant
bursts of laughter from the audience that he
was an object of rdcule, he exhibited symp-
toms of marked irritation. 1t exploded when
Nazureau said to him: well, sir, all these
details are very confused and unreliable. Give
US the tout ensemble of the hog. Group all
these details together. and tell us how the en-
tire hog exactly looked"
The witness measured Mazureau from head to
foot slowly and deliberately and said: You
want fac-simile of defendants hog:"
Yes, sir
You want the court, the jury, and the whole
audience to know how the animal looks,
altogether from its nose to its tail, and from its
tail to its feet?
Yes, sir; you fully comprehend my meaning
and desire.
Well, sir, that hog looks exactly like you,
and both you and the hog could not be more
alike if you were twins"
There was a roar of laughter in the audience,
but TINS time at tue expense of Mazureau. The
judge himself, the jurors, the members of the
bar, aud all other persons present were con-
vulSed with laughter.
Mazureau calmly waited for the restoration
of order. Then he blandly said to the witness:
If understand you correctly, The most accu-
rate description you can give this court and
jury of defendants hog is his being so like Inc
that you could not tell one from the other?''
Yes. sir" doggedly answered the witness,
who was much encouraged by the effect he had
produced on the audience.
Il tu&nk you, sir, Tor the precision of your
language. ! have no more questions to ask
and the witness withdrew from the stand.
By this time Moreau Bislet had become sell
Gus. He knew Mazur aus temper, whose I'M
natural calm portended nothing good
MIR. Moreau Lslet, said Mazureau, with the
kindest intonation, will you do me the favor to
hand ME your petionf"
After having read it loudly and distinctly, so
as to be heard by everybody present, he said:
May it please the court gentlemen of the jury
it is plain that the plaintiff has failed to make
out his case. You have heard me read from his
petition the most minute description of his
missing hog, and his witness has Just given
you what tie thinks the best and most faithful
representation or portraiture of the one alleged
to be in defendants possession Well, it is I'M
questionable that there is no point of reseu-
blance between the two animals, one of which
you see now standing before you in my person
rest my case here. The plaintiff must be put
out of court on the evidence which he has him
self adducedS
sioreau Lislet looked blank, and was no longer
inclined to laugh, and well he might, for there
was an instantaneous verdict against his client
Mazureau walked up to his defeated adversary,
and opening his gold snuf-box offered him a
pinch, saying: "Moreau, what do you think of
the old dctum, He laughs the best who laughs
the lastf'"