Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1888-04-26
HUMOR.

IAFEhS tnaJ uont give credit arl
published by hook and by crook.
WHERE is no mans land? Where
the gnome. man burrows. of course.
THEY have q society journal in Ben
gal that is much read by the Ben
gals.
They are making glass tombs now.
A glass tomb much sometimes brings
q man there.
"YoU saved ten thousand souls, st. Peter said
And all the little angels were surprised"
Yes, said the parson. as he bowed his head,
You see my sermons were all advertised
A MAN who did not recognize meta
physician explained that he had never
metaphysician before. - TerGs Sift-
ingS.
THE man who only drinks on some
particular occasion, finally gets SO that
he isn't at all particular what the occa-
sion may be.-Teras Stftings.
New York has Fruit Exchange, but
it should not be forgotten that the first
fruit exchange was established in the
Garden OF Eden. .--TerGs Siftings.
The party which expects to win sue
cess by evasion Of public questions is
make buckwheat cakes out of the bat
ter of baseball club.-SGn Fran
(isCO Altd.
CONSTANT Reader" is informed that
to preserve fruit there is nothing su-
perior to high fence garnishod with
broken glass bottles. Some persons,
however, still think the bulldog method
preferable. Boston Trans rip,.
"YoUR husband is something of an
antiquarian, isn't hep asked o caller
of Mrs. Snaggs. mo, don't think he
is, was the reply. Il don't think he
can tell one kind of an ant from an
other. "-Bau'lington Free Press.
The new Democratic paper in Chi
cago is called the Globe. This will
will do, but it would have sounded bet
ter to call it the Earth. There isn't q
man in Chicago who wouldn't take the
earth If he got a chance. Peoria
Transcript.
"SAY, Pat, if you'll come around
every evening and clean out my
furnace, I'll give you 81 week. "Sure
an o. will, sor-but what will Oh be
doin' nights whin tn ould woman takes
me away to the thay-ay er?"-BaGrIing-
tom Free Press.
Il THINK you are rather unjust to me,
father" said fast young MAI; "un-
necessarily severe, as it were. / have
not the advantages which you enjoyed
when you were young" ~What do you
mean by that, sirP" "Your father was
poor you know.-Puek.
CUSTOMER = Are these neckties
strong? Shopman = Strong? Why,
sir, last week L sold one to gentle
man as was a-'ankering after suicide,
and g liked it so much that q used it to
'ang 'isself, and it bore is weight beau
tiful.-London Globe.
GENTLEMAN-What are you doing
now, Sam? SAM amt doin' muffin,
sah; frowed up my job las week. /
had trubble wifi de boss, an jess tole
him he cLddent fool dis cullud gem
man no mo-. Pse Independent, / is An
ole aunt o. mine died an lef me twenty
fl dollahs. Epoch.
OMAHA man-From Dakota, eh?
Speaking of Dakota reminds me of
blizzard L Dakota manila. hal
Wasn't it funny? Sunny? The biz
zard was" II should say SO! Near
ly laughed myself into fits over it.
Laughed, over a bliz ard What bliz-
zard?" "The one in New York of
course. ."-OmahG HOrid.
CoURT-Did you search the prison
er's pockets. Policemen-Yes, your
honor. Court-Did you find anything
in them? Policeman-Yes, your honor.
Court-Was it counterfeit money?
Policeman-No, your honor. Court
Did you~find any jewelry or burglars
tools? Policeman-No, your honor.
Court-What did you find in his pock-
cts? Policeman-Nothing but holes. =
ArcOld Record.