Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1888-09-21
TEN CENT PHILAETHROplSE
How They Appeared at the State Fair
Jay Ell Bee Shows tho Journal Read
ers the Road to Riches.

I asS8kA
ers the Road to Riches.
LEWISTON, Sept. 10, 1888.
Editor Kenne5ee Journal:
DEAR SrR 1t is after the lowing lin,
have been whirled over the Maine Central {.
their familiar pastures-after the distendee
nostrils and heated tongues of the flyer
have been for the last time deity sponged-
after the numerous monstrosities that thronc
our fair grounds these later years have beer
securely boxed and sent home-after ths
thousand different capacities for enjoyment
have been sstisted-it is after all this tina
we men of brains ~ sit us down and cogitats
on the-wiggle waggleties of mankind.
Financially the fair was success The
stockholders who counted their garnered
Thousands late into Saturday night. and the
lad who sold "gude pear-r-r-rs now tin clint,
duzzin! !" trod the earth with buoyant STEP
and went their ways seemingly satisfied.
l did think when / commenced, I'd write
about the sheep and the pigs and the geese
and the hens, but won't. My pathway is
az clear before me as the streets Of Augusta
under the influence of electricity. The
tickle Goddess of Finance claims my pen
and it will be the fault of every one that
reads If he does not next year go West
young man" at least as far as Lewiston.
Its an easy matter to get rich At least
the papers say so and they ought to know.
There are lots of benevolent people who are
anxious " sacrifice themselves for strug-
Cling humanity and ten cent piece. The
hey to Wealth can be purchased for very
small sum, with a few samples generously
thrown in.
The pensioners of this grand ten cent be-
nevolent society above mentioned, have their
annual reunion at the Maine State Fair and
are noticeably on the increase. Ny heart
yearns for these men and their dollars. i
might possibly continue to cling to earth
without the men, but minus the latter life
becomes burden and existence immaterial.
| cannot mention them all. l wish l
might. Ii Is as well, perhaps, for no man
could do them justice-no, nor two men.
Just think of the philanthropy displayed by
the man who offers you your initial with
gold front and convenient yet simple ar
rargement for exterior application, for a
quarter. The last day of the fair he sacri-
fees them two for dime, and still doubles
his money.
The man who boldly enters our forests
and gathers autumn leaves and brushes
them with an unsympathizing hand, or
with merltorious economy, scrapes from
the urn the spent leaves of China's most
valuable product. and by secret process
changes them to Noted English Lavender"
and California Rose Leaves" at five cents a
package, is laying up treasures on earth, at
lcast, while in the dim hereafter perfect com
fort Is not yet assured. A stove polish that
turns as if by magic a rusty stove pipe into a
glass French plate mirror with
twisted celluloid handle thrown in, is not
among the least of the three for a quarter"
outcomes of first class State Fair. The
an 40 iuit VI HsDIOus tOuNtTsdtiUtl, men anu
women cry their wares with irresistible ca
ience and We seek the open air in pure self
defence. The genuine Gypsy Fortune Tel
Ter, born in Maine and 'brung up in Massa-
chusetts is here. The fire eater and leger-
lemaniae abide. The-Iong.k ule-drink- now.
only -a-nickel" dend, begs 10 introduce to your
tired stomach his villanous compound of tar
taric acid and city water. Oyster stews
in the proportion OF nine medium sized
biyalves to fathom of weak broth, can be
had for a quarter and your money is well
worth it. good square meal at the same
price, if you will kindly permit the unbiased
judgment of the propretors to have full
sway, may also be had. A mag
nifcent specimen of manhood-phys-
ically-dressed in an elaborate cos.
tune of sheepskin and long hair-the ira
ditonal "Sombrero Mexicana" and nose
red from excessive weeping for the suffer
ings of his fellow men-possble- discoursed
nuently on discoveries made while sojourn-
ing as a captive among the Lazitonthick In
dians from whom he escaped by cutting his
way through a whole prairie load of them
with a second hand bowie knife that was
smugged to him by a chieftain's second
cousin during presidential campaign ninety
years ago. During all this time he chung
tenaciously to the little plant that he now
for the first time presented to the people of
Maine, with the assurance that it will, when
properly applied, cure all diseases of the
mind or body, give clothes to the naked,
shQea 10 the barefoot ,deeeney to blackguards
and common sense TO know -nothings.
All this he pledged his word and honor (?)
it would do, beside removing tar, paint and
grease spots from your latest wedding out
fit without injury to the finest fabric. l
have finished. The rising generation cannot
now look on me with scorn. | have shown
them the broad and aftims beaten path to
wealth. lie that walks not therein will
surely do me the Justice to say
"He done that WHICH he eepld,H
JAY EFF BEE.