Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1888-11-01
FEELINGL n.

He (unfeelingly)-"My dear, you ought to
engage with some baker" She-"Why so?'
He-stBecause you can get more weight out
of given amount of flour than any woman
know of. of."-Burlington Free Press.
1.-THE really efficient lsborer," says Tho
reau, twill be found not to unduly crowd his
day with work, but will saunter to his task
surrounded by wide halo of ease and 1eis-
ure." We were thinking of this as we came
down in our barouche this morning.
Rochester Post-Express.
Preserving Vegetables (at breakfast)
-"My, dear, will you have some more of
the stewed potatoesl / cooked them my
self" Husband-''No, Ive had enough" :"
Wife-"What is the best way to keep pota-
toes, Johnp' Husband-''I think the best
way for you keep potatoes is to stew 'em."-
Harper's Bazaar.
An exchange quotes Bismarck as saying
that 'shis finances will not admit of his being
made dude" We should think shat his
brains would prevent such a catastrophe,
even though his finances would admit of
such painful transformation. It is barely
possible, however, that "dnde," in the sem
tence quoted, Is misprint for "duks."-
Norristown Herald.
Not pleasant way of putting it: Editor
| "You will be glad to hear, Mr.. Funniman,
that your column has excited more interest
among our subscribers than any other de-
partment of the paper" Funniman-'1 am
very glad to have given such general satisfac-
| tion." Editor-"Yes, 1 get q great many
letters every ISy asking if we offer prizes for
| q correct solution of our puzzles AID when
| we intend to publish answers. Boston Post.
| 'sHasn't the baker sent any bread for sup
per, Elfedal" inquired Mr.. Msgruder, az he
| surveyed the table.
| 81 told him not to bring any this evening,
| Csllithumpiap," responded the young wife
l hoba
will be brought on in moment-what are
you doing, Callithumpian."
| 'EI am putting prop under the table
| leaf, ~ said the young husband with forced
oalmness.-Chicago Tribune.
| Journalism in Texas-Colonel Snort of the
| Crosby County Clarion and Farmers Viudi-
Gator was busy writing leading editorial on
Harrison the Friend of the Mongolian, y
| when his assistant, Johnny Fizzletop, said
| Colonel, here is a long article in the New
| York Herald. Shall I cut it Quit" "Whst is
/ 1t aboutf sit is headed, do people eat toe
much2' Shall put it in our papers" "Not
/ roared Colonel Snort. "Wait till we get 9
| chance to eat too much. / have never had
i one yet. Texas Siftings.
Must Take Their Chances.-Three times
| during the last month we have surprised our.
self and the public by mopping the fioos with
assailants while on two occasions we have
| ignominiously took to flight. We state it al
| physiological fact that there are times wher
| we had as lief fight dozen men. and othel
times when we'd run for good-sized boy
Parties planning to lick us must be prepared
| to take their chances. We may fight like
lion or run like jack rabbit.-The Arizons
Kicker, in Detroit Free Press.
Husband (impatiently) it possible, M,
dear, that you cannot keep those children
quiet for a moment?' Wife (soothingly)-
"Now, John, don't be harsh with the poo
little innocent things; it is natural for then
| to be full of spirit and they're doing the bes
they can" Husband-"Well, if could hav,
a moments peace would sit down and writ.
that check for fifty dollars that you've beer
| bothering me for" Wife (stern1y)-"Chil
drsn, go upstairs at oncel and if hear an
other word from you tonight I'll punish yor
severely. Life.
| The hend who buttonholes man
And asks him how he's going to vote
VIII some day ruin against q man
| Who'll madly seize him by the throat
And knock his head against wall,
UNTIL half paraly zed with pain,
| He promises he never win
| Attempt to take straw votes again.
1 New York Journal.