New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1888-04-11
Faint Smiles,

mated the motto: There's plenty OF
room at the top
Aenes's little joke: "Now, Marie,
see If you can get the table set by the
Time am ready to help you.n-Har-
per's Young People.
His brother, a 3-year-old, one day
saw his grandma remove her false
teeth, watched eagerly, and then took
hold OF his saying: Grandma, / can't
pull mine out; God pounded 'em in.''
Dogs are not allowed to pick their
company. That is why you often see
80 dog out walking with a. fifteen
cent manufacturers Statesman.
A fact which ambitious young per-
sons will have forced upon their at
tentlon rather frequently during the
winter is that the lowest step has the
most Ice on it.-New Haven News.
"What do you do Tor cold feet, doc.
tor?' The doctor, in thoughtful sur
prise: "Why, I'd go out into the snow
barefoot Or sleep with my feet out OF
the window, suppose. Why do you
ask? What do you want cold feet
for?'
Mrs. Hendricks the landlady)-"Is
your seat comfortably, Mr.. Dumley,
or are you too near the fre?' Dunn
ley-"No, | am not too near the fire,
Mrs: Hendricks, but think amer
tribe too near the butter. "-Drake's
Magazine.
One rainy day g. child asked mis-
mamma if he could go out. She re.
piled: "No, my dear: Your rubbers
are worn, and you would wet your
feet. Presently he looked out the
window and saw some brides hv
down IN the mud. He said: sMamma.
have the brides got their rubbers
on?"
One evening an old lady and her
5-year-old niece were on the door step.
1t was a beautiful moonlight night.
Suddenly it became quite dark by tn e
moon getting hid by a cloud Quick
as flash the little one looked up and
said IN regretful tone: ooh, mana,
Coo has blowed out his light"
A man with three cur dogs follow
ing him along Water-street was asked
by g. gentleman ''what those dogs
We're good for2" The man replied,
4ankee-like, asking "What thirds
OF the human race were good for?"
The gentleman went his way ponder.
ing on the problem.-Augusta (Me.)
Reporter,
A writer says "a woman carries
mischief in her pocket" Agood place
for it. There is nobody under the
blue canopy OF heaven that can get
into it but herself. -Binghamton Re-
publican.
Mamma, what do you pray for?"
said the little hve-year-old son OF a
friend of mine. "Why, for papa and
mamma, and for God to make you a
good boy" she replied. "Well, that's
just what I've been praying for too,"
said the young philosopher, '.and if
you are going to keep on I'll quit"
The country editor came into town
on Wednesday, saw a few flags dis
played, and when he went home wrote
that eve and our wife attended the
celebration of the father OF his
country's birthday in Buffalo," This
is the same esteemed country editor
who told OF "a quiet but effective we'd
ding"
a good joke is told in connection
with President Cleyeland's passage
through Paatka. A man who had
come miles to see and "shake hands"
with the chief, went away exultant,
claiming that with others the Presi-
dent merely shook hands, but him he
addressed personally. When asked
howthat was, he replied: 1.-The Presi-
dent told me to pass onn'
It is said that cannibals will not
eat a man who has used tobacco.
Indeed! Is it not brazen unto the
verge of unreason to ask missionary
to deny himself the solace OF the weed
just to make q gastronomic tip bit Of
himself for a cannibal? There is a
limit to all things.-Binghamton Re
publican,
II saw at once" said q physician
VINO had been called in consultation,
''that DR.. Pellets diagnosis was
wrong; but as he was in charge of the
case, of course it wouldn't do for me
70 interferen tDid the Datient die2n
"Oh, yes; died OF professional court.
esy'-a very common and fatal dis
ease-"-Harper's Bazaar.
WASHINGTON, g NIodestv.