Morning journal and courier., 1888-12-25
M FER RY.

A snow bawl-Shovel off yer sidewalk Boston Bulletin.
 Glass eyes ought to be made of peer glass; Jewish Tidings.
 An eight-day clock is long -winded affair." Merchant Traveller.
 The silence that speaks-The conversation between two deaf mutes.-Boston Courier.
 A farthing is not wealth, but to most of us wealth is far-thing.-Glen Falls Rspub- Gcan.
 Not Christmas green-The smart boy who makes believe he believes in Santa Claus. New York Journal.
 Whether marriage be failure or not, there are no two opinions concerning spinsterhood. London (Ontario) Spectator.
 Salesman-'There's very handsome car pet. sir; only SITS per yard" Customer: ssCan't say that like the figure" (Which figure, sir?" .Why, 1.75."-Yonkers States man.
 handsome reward will be offered for the discovery of an article which has never been offered to the public about this time of year as useful" present. Tram script
 For the sake of long suffering humanity, it is to be hoped that Mir. Edison will never invent any sort of machine which will en- able people to hear what is said about them behind their backs.-Somerville Journal.
 Customer Gin New York bakery)-Let me have 8 two-pound loaf, please.
 Clerk-You'll have to come in after awhile, sir The boss has gone out, and he took the combination of the safe with him.-Time.
 Nurse-We ought to have a piece of soft old linen to bind up Mastee Rupert's bruise.
 Young mother (anxioasly)-Ought we, Bar kerr (to under nurse) Jane, go right out and buy three yards of the finest old linen you can get.-Epoch.
 Five year old Harry heard his sisters new dress discussed "You see. the skirt comes in two pieces, the waist in one piece" "And peace on earth, !" added the boy, who school hymns.-Jewish Messenger.
 Pat Cole, the Irishman, who killed Coombs in fight some years ago In Bruns- wick, on being arrested by the sheriff said: ''It was a fair fight, MT. Officer; if Coombs had killed me, I wouldn't have said word about it.-Lewiston (Me ) Gazette.
 Young man (to editor)-I would like to leave this poem, sir, for you to read, and in case it is not accepted can you return it to me?
 Editor-Oh, yes.
 Young man-I have signed it "Anon."
 Editor-Very well, sir, I will return it Anon.-New York Sun.
 Clerk (to customer at loss what to buy)- The present you are looking for Is designed for young lady. perhaps'
 Customer dubiously)-'m-yes; compars- lively so. I am trying to find something for my wife.
 Clerk-Ah You'll find the bargain ooun- ter five aisles to the left.-Chicago Tribune.
 "What is an orphana" asked the teacher of the class in definitions. Nobody seemed to know. "Well, I'm an orphan" said the teacher, seeking an illustration that would not reveal too much. At this a hand popped up and the owner of it exclaimed: "An orphan is 8 woman that wants to get mar ried and can't."-Harper's Magazine for January.
 'what is the matter, my sona" inquired the benevolent gentleman. And the pale, trembling boy, who was ly- ing across barrel on his stomach in an alley back of cigar store, and making exclama- tions in sort of broken English at convu1- sive intervals. said he guessed he was one of the victims of the smoke nuisance.-Chicago Tribune.