The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1888-08-03
Free Whiskey.
MIX COX PICTURES REPUBLICAN, CAM
PAIGNER ON THE STUMP FOR THE
CHICAGO PLATFORM,

y
questions pertinent to this campaign
without entangling alliances and con-
fused ideasi
Some taxpayer, tired of your pro-
tective exactions, asks:
"Why should only 2,73s,s 1906 people,
the pets Of protection, be favored at the
expense of over 20 per cent. of their
6O,0OO,O00 fellow citizensi"
What fort The voice from the stiN
warm with the tears of widows and
orphans--huskily answers, "For free
whiskeyi'
"Why should we not cheaper
clothes, blankets, and carpets by ad-
mitting wool free, since the woolen
mills have a capacity for 60O,OOO,OO0
pounds, and only 24O,OOO,OOO pounds
are raised at homer"
The answer comes like the bleat of
a thousand fiocks, "Before clothes, or
blankets, or carpets take free whiskey!"
But says an honorable recusaht Re-
publican from Minnesota:
"Worthier, better and juster it seems
to my mind would it be to give our
people, the toiling masses, cheaper food
cheaper fuel, cheaper clothing, and
cheaper shelter, cheaper because re-
leased from the heavy aud unnecessary
burden of high-tariff taxes"
"Pshawl" says the hide. bound pro-
tectionist, "these articles must remain
taxed to vindicate the American sys-
tenn" This system has as its genius
free whiskey.
A taxpayer inquiries of you:
"Have not the American people
paid in sixty years over $2O,000,000,-
900 in the hope of getting goods
cheaper by and by, after the infants
have attained their maturity What,
my Republican brother, will you now
do?"
The brother answers, "Free whis-
key
"Has invention done anything for
usi' asks the impoverished mechanic,
"What do you show us as the result of
our American genius for century in
mechanicsi"
The answer comes: "We tender
you the worm IN the still, the finest in
vention OF the devil. 1t may take away
your brains and impoverish your fami-
hes; but protection must stand! We
offer you untaxed, cheap, free whis-
keyi'
Another inquirer asks, "Why do
you not take the tax off my coat of
reversible nap7"
Tie answer comes: "Protection
first, but always free whiskey.'
An old lady of West Virginia asks
with anxiety, "Why must l pay 60
cents in addition to every dollar for
the crockery from which / drink my
sassafras tear
"Ahl" says the protectionist, sis not
whiskey better than tea?'
A series of questions and answers
might be fred off in the following or
der:
"Are you going to allow that re-
duction proposed by the Mills bill
from AT per cent. duty to 40 on car
pets?'
"No, but we will repeal the tax on
add free whiskey.'
"Wont you support that reduction of
10 per cent. on cotton goodss"
Ivu, UuJ wouid tove to lower the
whiskey tax"
"Won't you reduce the tax on cas-
tor oil below 1914 per cent.--its present
rate!"
mo, won't condescend to help
anybody but those who want the cost
of whiskey reduced"
"Please help us reduce the tax on
cheap woolen cloth from SO per cent.
to 40 per cent, as Mills proposes
will you mott"
"No; do not want to engage in
anything else till have taken the tax
of ninety cents gallon from whiskey."
ave are making last effort to re-
duce the duty on wool hats from "a
per cent. Cheap hats. Won't you
help usi"
''No, sir; the Republican platform
doesn't say anything about cheap hats.
IL does advocate taking tax from
whiskey, and l stand by the platform"
"The worsted goods for my family
is taxed 6S per cent. Help me pull
that down to 40 per cent will you
nOt?"
"No, Sir; let your worsted goods go
to grass! Whisky is more thau dol
lar gallon. ] want to take the nine.
ty-cent gallon tax off of it."
"Now, my friend, the Mills bill pro-
poses to take eleven and one-half mill
ions off of sugar; won't you help us to
pass it?"
"No for it don't propose to cheaper
whiskey one cent"
at makes salt free. Won't you fa-
vor that"
"Is salt whiskey' Salt amt in our
platform
at makes the tin, of which our tin
stove vessels aud cans, and roofs are
made, free; won't you give US THAR
"Tin is not in the platform; whiskey
is." t- -
''It makes lumber for our homes
to keep us warm free. Won't you fa-
vor thatf"
"No. want to legislate TO warm
the inner man, not the ouer one.
Give US free whisky When these
questions are answered let me read as
summing up to the gentleman what
was said by an old farmer friend of
mine in Iowa. He had evidently been
pursuing Sydney Smith on taxation:
/ meyer wore any clothes that were
not increased in price by this policy OF
making an slmshouse of every possible
factory. u'ed to rise on Sunday
morning from my humble cot in log
farmhouse, throwing off the bed
clothes taxed 40 to 100 per cent, cal
my taxed breakfast from dishes taxed
As per cent. on table cloth taxed 4t
per cent, and when the 5 .bbath bel
taxed 80 per cent. sounded its inviting
notes, took my bible taxed 25 pc
cent. and went to the church built o.
lumber taxed 20 per cent, and there
in Sunday-school song book taxed
25 per cent. (and all these taxes paio