Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1888-05-26
The Latest Fish Story.

The Latest Fish Story.
Mr.. Thomas had large farm on the
Missouri bottoms near Sioux City. Il was
all fenced with barb wire, there being two
miles Of such fencing ON the place. He
happened In Sioux City just about the
time that the gorge up the river had
damned the water TO such q prodigious
height. Foreseeing that when the gorge
broke II would be likely TO raise the wa
ter to such an extent rs TO food his farm,
he rode hastily home aud made prepara-
tons accordingly. His stock and all that
was movable was transferred TO higher
ground. Then he and his hired man pro-
cecded to impale small chunks Of meat ON
every barb Of that wire fence. Il was a
big job. but II was finished just as the riv.
er began IN cover the lower pasture lot
For twenty.six hours the water stood five
feet above the top Of the highest fence
post, and when Il receded the most re.
markable sight was revealed. From every
barb. except three, Of the two miles Of
fencing, hung fish. There were picker
el, bass, suckers and every other kind Of
imaginable variety. A simple calculation
will show precisely the size Of the haul
Il was 4 fivc.wire fence, each wire having
thirty.six barbs to the rod, making, as any
school boy can tell you, total Of l15,2O0
barbs to the two miles Of fencing. There
were three barbs that had caught nothing,
so that there were only li5.l97 fish. Per.
haps the most remarkable part Of the story
Is to come. From that day to this, In all
parts Of the Missouri river, there ha,c
been caught just three fish, the exact mum.
Der that didn't get caught on our friends
barbcd-wirc fence.-Iora Falls Register.
One That will bear Telling Again
A certain fort In the far West. so the
story goes. was In command of a major OF
artillery who was constantly lamenting
that his favoritc arm could not be more
frequently used against the Indians
Finally, one day he took one OF the small
howitzers. which defended the fort, and
had 1t securely strapped to the back of an
army mule with the muzzle projecting
over the animals tail. With this novel
gun carriage he proceeded in high feather
with the captain and sergeant to bluff on
the bank Of the Missouri, near which was
cncamped band Of friendly Indians. The
gun was duly loaded and primcd, the fuse
inserted and the mule backed to the edge
Of the bluff. The major remarked some.
thing about the novel effect the exhibit.
ton was lSely to produce upon the In
allies, and stepped gayly forward and APP
piled the match.
The curiosity of the mule was aroused.
He jerked his head around TO see what
was fizzing away there on his neck, and
the neck second his feet were all punched
together and making forty revolutions a
n minute, while the gun was threatening
everything under the canopy within a
radius Of ten miles with instant destruc-
ton. The captain Skinned up the only
available tree. The sergeant threw him.
self fiat on the ground and tried to dig a
hole with his bayonet to crawl into. while
the fat major rolled over and over in ago.
ny, alternately invoking the protection Of
Providence and cursing the mule. Final
ly the explosion came, the ball going
through the roof of the fort. The recoil
Of the guu aud the wild leap of the terri.
fed mule carried both over the bluff to a
safe anchorage at the bottom Of the river.
The discounted party returned sadly TO
the fort
Shortly after the chief of the Indians
appeared and announced briefly: "Injrn
go home"
Questioned as to why, he thus explain.
ed "Injun YER brave, help white man..
Injun use gun. use bow arro' use knife
but when white man fire of wholo jackass,
Injun no understand. no think right. In.
jun no help um fight that way.