Morning journal and courier., 1888-10-09
AS VSUAL.

The man who is successful at "holding his own" in the world is usually ambitious to hold somebody else's, also.-Merehant Tray eler.
 A "corn crusher' is the latest agricultural implement advertised. Any purchaser who comes foo1ing around our corns with one will get standardization Post.
 There are 6 good many devices for over coming insomnia, but about the most sensi- ble one yet published is the brief and brusque admonition "Go to sleep. ."-Detroit Free Press.
 There is man in Manistee, Mich, named Satan. When in @ reflective mood he asks himself, "What in the name of Satan did they name me Satan forW-Boston Tran script.
 Making a Diagnosis.-"Your husband, Mrs. Murphy, issuffering from complica- tion of diseases. l must first make diagno- sis-" ftKin yer make it out of ould mus lin, doctori I haven't bit of flannel in the house. "-The Cartoon.
 To be Developed Later.-fSo your old un- cle is dead, Charleyf' ''Yes; died yester- day" "He was e very eccentric old fellow. Do you think he was altogether right in his headf" s'Well-er-I couldn't say, you know, until the will is ad."-Life. ssClarai" shouted the old man from the head of the stairs, 'I called down 10 min, y to go, and haven't heard the front door close yet"
 "No, papa; he left by the window" ."-Har- per's Bazar.
 A new fakir scheme is an advertisement stating that the advertiser will send to any one enclosing the sum of $1 the secret of per petual life. The ''sucker'' who sends the on which is printed the words, 'tDon't die.' New York Tribune. Doubtful Compliment.-Guest- wish ] had come here a week ago." Proprietor "Ah, that's very fsttering to my hotel" 'El don't know about that. What mean is that would have preferred to have eaten thii l fish then instead of now."-From the Ger | man, in Texas Siftings. His first offence-Miss Gotham ito Mir I Wabash, recently returned from sbroad)-l 1 suppose you were at court while in London | MT. Wabashi
 Mir. Wabash (uneasily)-Well-sr Miss Gotham, but only once, and then l go Bakar.
 | "What sort of labor is best paid in thi country" asked visiting Englishman of al American.
 ssField labor" was the prompt reply. | "You surprise me-"
 .sIt's fact. You ought to see the salarie paid to our base ball players. rs."-Pittsbur1 Chronicle.
 Brown-"I hear that Featherly's ney novel has reached its second edition. I l must be a popular success" Ferguson "Yes, Featherly bought up the first editiol himself and sent copies to all his friends
 He said he wasn't going to make failure a an author if little energy on his part coult prevent it. it."-Exchange.
 All She wanted.-Mrs. Godolphin-' Nov
 what would be your terms, Mir. Jones, fo
 giving me course of, say dozen lessons
 paintings" Jones-"Well, frankly, Mrf
 Godolphin, I'm afraid it's too late in life fo
 you to begin to start 8 career of art-that ii if you wish to take it up seriously" Mir
 G.-"Oh, but don't. I only want to lear
 enough to be able to teacha"-Judy.
 Dumley- q hear you have a new olerg,
 man at your church." Fsrguson-"Yes, an
 he appears to be very brilliant man, too
 Dumley-'Indsedl Is he good at the son and dance businessa' Ferguson-"Song an
 dance businessa What do you meanw Dun
 iey-"Oh, nothing, nothingl Only yours such an aristocratic church that suppose of course you would want a Tony Pastor. "- l Boston Post.