The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-03-24
Cruel Kindness.
Exchange,


 Exchange.
 The Servians are said to be the most unmusical people in Europe. One English traveller, at least, can give em- phatic testimony to that effect, from an experience of his own while visit ing the British diplomatic agent at Belgrade. It was some twenty years ago, and the great garrison was in the hands of the Turks, commanded by a worthy old pasha, Ali Riza. This parsonage, unfortunately, took fancy to the Englishman, and, after enter taining him at banquet, early next morning sent band, composed of at least forty musicians, to delight his ears with some of the national airs of Turkey. The English Effendi was sleeping peacefully when the hideous din of the "March of Sultan Achmet' burst upon his ears. He says:
 "The first thought that flashed across my bewildered brain, as started up in bed, was that had been shot out of gun of large calibre; the next, that the end of all things was at hand.
 "Collecting my scattered wits, at the expiration of few hideous sec- onds, 1 got upon my feet and stag gered to the window. There they were, forming hollow double circle, in the center of which stood the gor- geous band master, leading-with his hand in lieu of a baton-two score of swarthy, wiry, deep-chested fellows, blowing, beating and jingling at high pressure, and locking as if they could go on doing all these unnumbered things for uncounted hours.
 "I may say with truth that had never entirely realized what cymbals were capable of in the way of poison ing human happiness until I heard that band play nor had I been aware that any tune could be harmonized in such sort that it's accompaniment should consist exclusively of discords.
 "Presently the band-master, looking upward in a spasm of inspiration brought on by more than usually deadly dissonance-at that particular moment the brasses were playing si- multaneously in at least six different keys-caught sight of my face at the window.
 "Instantly lurid smile illumined his tawny countenance; he waved his hand more frantically than before, and spoke some word of power to his bandsmen, the immediate result of which was an explosion of noise to which their previous achievements in that line had borne the relation of a whisper to an eruption of Vesusius."
 The Englishman was at that mo- ment visited by his host, who ex- plained to him, necessarily at the top of his voice, that this fearful din would last for at least an hour and a half; that etiquette demanded that the recipient of the compliment should remain in sight during the entire pe- riod, and that he should offer the band sum of money equivalent to about twenty five dollars as 6dkshtsh.
 The next day the martyr-guest was compelled to visit the pasha, to thank him for the music, "such," he emphat- ically and truthfully observed, Gas he had never before heard nor dreamed of in his life."
 "You cannot know how it rejoices me that you should appreciate our stirring melodies, ," said the old Turk, his countenance beaming with delight. "You shall hear one or two of them again now, and every morning they shall greet your waking ears."
 So, to the visitors horror, the band was again assembled, and his previous torture repeated. The latter part of the Turks proposal, however, was not carried out, for the Englishman left Belgrade the next morning, literally driven away.