St. Paul daily globe., 1888-06-17

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duster and mop of the extinct Nora and
Bridget in the public museum beside
the interesting foot Of the last dodo is
at hand. Slaves have become working
girls, from working girls have been
evolved working ladies; now, with
tears in our eyes, we behold the work
ing ladies passing from the border
lands of utility to reappear on the other
side, ladies unqualified. Weare power
less to stay progression in its mad ca
reer, or to keep our hands from the in
evltable dishwater that sOZzles dismally
all over our hopeless future. The lin
gering specimens of the departing
species on which we still retain des-
perate hold, possess unchanged just one
feature of those who have gone before
them. They draw their pay. They are
bound to US by no ties Of affection, no
sense of duty. no desire to serve. Moth
ing but the golden chain
OUR COLD CASH LINKS
about them, uniteS their destiny with
ours. They will take our money on
condition that it is the only thing they
shall be expected to take from us. We
bow to fate, and accept from them the
least possible quantity of work and any
quantity of impudence.
There is a striking parallel between
our working women who would be la
dies, and those ambitious angels, who
come considerably and uncomfOrtably
short of being goddesses.
Aspiring to be Gods, if angels fell,
Aspiring to be ladies, cocks rebel.
Against the same unbending law of ma
tural selection, and l hope heaven will
extend the parallel until our cooks
come back to earth as precipitously as
the other angels once dropped a few
M,
greSSive spirit to exhibit. | know it.
It shows sinful disregard for the ele-
vation of the human race. know this,
too, and l say of the human race as
Grant once did of the poor Indian,
Hang the human race! l want a
rest"
The slippery, evolving maid-servant
has coquetted with me, until whatever
progressive spirit l was endowed with
in the beginning, has been drowned in
dlshwater and now decays in an early
grave where the on-rushing tide of
the sewer may have borne it.
how can | longer be sentimental over
the fate of the human race? As the
dying deacon said, turning from con-
SideratiOn of his wife'S future to his
own, Bother that! What's going to
become of me,is what l want to know?"
am now merely the ways and means
through which the ambitious working
lady seeks the satisfaction of her desires.
One young lady lately presided over me
till my graceful submission to her will
materialized
IN A NEW SPRING SUIT.
AS soon as she called this hers she re
leased me from my thralldOm, packed
up her trunk and went visiting for the
summer.
Engaging in bondage to another, did
her work while she drew her pay, until
L saw my services take the shape
of travelling expenS eS to Fargo,
whittier she went ''to get good
wages and an easy place." Still
another made me the object of her royal
patronage while she courted a young
gentleman whom, she quickly dis
patched-married. The uncertain favor
of the one who rules ME now grew
threatening this morning, and, l say it
soberly and earnestly, don't care a fig
how soon progression doubles on its
track and goes backward. My practice
has been to modestly march down
stairs in the shadow of my chief and
walk ahead of her in preparing break
fast. This morning L left her to her
own devices, and when put in an appear
ance she greeted me with cold glance
of diSapprOyal, and, in sharp tones that
struck terror to my soul, demanded to
know why 1 did not get up as usual.
II was so lonesome" said she, Il had
half mind to go back to bed myself"
Thus did | recognize me-court lester
to the kitchen queen.
The unhapp frogs that must suffer,
we found in all fun. Organized labor is
having its pleasure, and we who once
knew something of what fun meant,
now look death i'll the eye. Knights of
Labor walk outs" are becoming feat
ure of domestic misery. which, heaven
knows, needs no aggravating.
A lady on Summit avenue discharged
her cook the other day, whereupon her
whole domestic force quit work, leaving
her withOu ut man or maid servant on
the premises.
Mr.. -, of Marshall avenue. dis
charged diSobedient cOachman. The
coachman informed the cook and cham
bermaid, who Immediately fell into
line,
AND, BAG AND BAGGAGE,
the procession moved out of the kitchen
door.
Old Pompey's conundrum: ''If every
body be preacher, who be congrega-
tion?" is matched by the conundrum of
the ''Times-Spirit:" If everybody be
folks of elegant leisure, who are going
to keep them in it?
One of the first sweets of advancing
civilization that man enjoys is having
some one to do his dirty work for him.
The bitter fruit of perfect civilization
will be that every man will have to do it
for himself. When bootblacks are raised
to the supreme court bench, supreme
court judges will shine their own boots.
When female dishwashers marry presi-
dents of the United States the first lady
of the land will wash her own dishes.
Heaven hinder this threatened leveling
up! At least, heaven, if you will inter
fere no further, put my poor soul out of
misery before progression establishes
the tiresome equilibrium towards which