Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1888-11-22
FRESH FROM THE BURRs.

JENKENs writes to his girl in the
apartment house as his suite heart. -
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
II DID not think you would be 50
hard with me-" exclaimed the shark.
when he bit the anchor. Ocean.
WHAT long legs the man must have
who can attend to his business with one
foot in the grave..-Atchison Globe
A MACHINE for pressing hops has
been invent d. America is the home
of the hop-pressed. -Teras SJtings.
THE novelty of having baby in the
house is like the trade mark on a cake
OF soap; it soon wears off.-Atchisop
Weekly Globe.
LECTURES en- the North Pole are
generally slow. The speaker does not
seem able 10 warm up to the subject
NeC Orleans PicdDtne.
PHYSICIAN, heal thyself!" is an in
junction promulgated centuries ago,
and now some of the older practitioners
are pretty well heeled. Idea.
THERE never was a day, even in New
England, Sd fine and beautiful that
scme one couldn't spoil il with
wretched pun.-SomerUiHe Journal
LAWYER Ito little boy)-Where did
YOU learn to tell such outrageous lies?
Boy passed your Office one day when
the window was open. Record.
They were talking about the Allan
tic cable. IL reminds me Of good
egg," he said "A good egg?" why,
yes; being so successfully laid. -
ocean.
CARRIE" writes to know "What is
the most attractive way of wearing the
hair?" On the head, Carrie; and be
sure it is pinned tight. Burlington
Free Press.
HE-How beautiful Miss Arrow
smiths back hair is She-Yes. Much
prettier than her front hair. wonder
she didn't get it all at the same place
Hdyper's BdzGr.
REMBRANDT SMITH-Hello, old fell
low, how ere you prospering? Painting
many portraits now? Velasquez Jones
Well, yes; I'm getting a head pretty
we'll nowadays. s.-Boston Post.
A GUEST at Western hotel raised q
row because there was nt cover on his
bed and he, wouldn't be quiet until the
landlord was compelled to cover him
with revolver.-W Washington. Post.
EDISON has no doubt got good
thing in his phonograph, but we can
Eams a dozen women off-hand who can
give it twenty-five minutes start and
discount it without o stop.-Detrou
Free Press.
AN experienced person says that
when young man attempts to kiss his
girl, and she says Don't" that is tn,
time he should "Dont"-several times,
if not more. She will not be pleased
if he doesn't.
II HOPE you appreciate the fact,
sir, that in marrying my daughter
you marry large-hearted, generous
girl. II do, sir" with emotion) "and l
hope she inherits those qualities from
her father. Life.
Mr.. BIBBER (next morning)-Oi my
head 1t is wonder that man will
put an enemy into his mouth to steal
away his brains. Mrs. Bibber-If that's
what you did it for, Bibber, think the
enemy gos badly left. Terre Hallfe
Express.
QUEvEDo-I see the savants are
about to investigate the causes of yei-
low fever in the South. Miss Foote
(Chicago)-How nobel But 1 don't
remember to have met them. Are they
North Side family ?-Philddelphi0
Gu.
AFAsHIoN writer tells how a woman
may make herself look tall or short at
will by regulating the waist of her
dress. She will not look short if she
wears long waist; but it may have
been noticed that big waste in woman
has made husbands look "short."
LONDON, with q population of over
5000, 900, has death rate of 15.1 per
1000 inhabitants, while the death rate.
of New York, with q population less
than 1000, 900, is nearly double those
figures. But there are no bobtail
street cars in London. n.-NoTristoIrn
Herald.
HERBERT--Really, Miss Edith, am
very sorry kissed you. didn't think
what was doing. 1t is sort of tenn
porary insanity. Miss Edith (pitying-
ly)-If you ever feel any more such
attacks coming on you had better come
right here, where your infrmity is
known, and we will take care of you
Judge.
"CAN you tell me where the autom-
atom chess player is?" asked gentle
man of an attendant at the Centennial
Exposition. "Do yez name the figger
that plays games by itself an yez can't
see anybody workin' it ?" "Yes, that's
what [ mean" "Well, yed beether
wait a bit. He's gone out to dinner
now. Merchant TrdUeleT.
WISDOM IN DIsTIcHs.
| Wisely woman prefers lover to man who
This one may love her some day, some day the
lover will not.
There are three species of creatures who when
they seem coming are going
| When they seem going they come-Diplomats,
| women and crabs.
i Pleasures too hastily tasted grow sweeter I'm
| fond .ccolection,
/ As the pomegranate plucke1 green ripens far
| over the sea.
/ AS the mesk boasts in tho garden came iocking
| for Adam TO nams them.
Men for title to-day crawl TO the feet OF a king.
What is "a first love for, except TO prepare for a
What does the sesoni love bringP Only regret
/ for the first.
/ -NebTdska State Journal
An Obseryant YOungster.
On summer morning our little Lii