Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1888-04-01
BURDETTE'S HUhOR.
A + unny Mans Sober Advice to Young
Men, which All Young Men Can
Read ard Profit By.
HhsS The "iDsplrs'ion Of the MOmepg"
VIII do fer hal-Giris and
Magrisge-ChssiDg q Train,
Ousker Parrot Gun-Wanted: A House.
a Paragraph for ing Architects.
How to Reach the Mass:s
Written for the Gazette.

My SOD, 1t Is comforting doctrine,
and one that men often preach 20 esch
other, that 8 man deserves all credit fOl
everything good that he doss and for al
the good that he is, but that some oody
else is to blame for sll the evil in him
Mr.. Cough has been criticised for say i0g
and they were his last words, young
man, make your record clean" The
prophets who speak comfortably say that
the yourg man cannot make his record
clean, when his father makes bad record
before him, that society and the evil ten
denotes Of it,and something the scientists
call his "epvironment," write the
young mans record bad in spite Of him
On, my dear boy, this is doctrine too
cowsrdly for young man to accept
Ever since Adsm-the founder of society
md the inventor OF the first record ever
made in this world-a man without any
"envIronment" to his back, made bad
record, and then sAia: "The w man
thou gsyest to be with me, she" dit ii
all; men have always plead the irresist,
IDLE force of surroundings aud circum-
stances. The woman WIGS yourgzr than
Adam; she was weaker; many wise men
say she Is intellectually the inferior Ct
man; she was q newcomer In the
garden, and yet how glad your old
grandfather was to say that 1t wss all y, ur
grandmother's fault, and that being thus
led sstrsy by influences and example
which no man could control or resist, he
should not be held responsible for his
disc oedience. And in her turn your
grandmother laid It onto the snake, Just
IS to-day, in the office OF the Sun, and in
Christian homes all over this land, the
evil deeds Of men and servants are laid to
the cat, But, for sllthis excuse, Adam was
fred out Of the garden, and served him
right. Now, my boy, the other man may
eat forbidden fruit until he founders, and
not bite that ne swallows is going to
hurt you. A dose of strychnine big enough
to kill COW won't hurt you'll you
don't swallow any of it. When you
swesr, you do your own swearing; you
can't borrow another mans tons ue to
damn beggar with. When you get
drunk, yen get drunk. The law doesn't
fine the man who sells the wbi.ky, 1t fines
the man who drinks it. When you steal
anything, from pin to the Broadway
road, you do your own stealing, sn6-ln
the case of the pin, at lei 81, the aw holds
you responsible for ii, mol the man who
cosxed you to stes!, nor yet the citizen VINO
by owning valuable property which you
could not buy, thereby tempted you
to steal it. Y.u are the fell
low VINO does ell the wickedness
that ls wrought by your hands std
your lips. Il tires me TO hear man al
ways excusirg himself and CT irg some
dreadful, wicked Jerohosm which made
him 70 sin. Mt, indeed, that we hold
the JerobGams guiitless. "I5 must needs
be thst offences come; hut wee 10 that
man by whom the offence cometh !"
place in the sea IL the proper combius-
ton for tne mao who helps You to stun
Die, you do not go free have no right
to turn cross dog into the street. 0us if
do, be will bite you if you go foolir g
around him Wherefore "cSVs csnsm,"
which, by Interpretation is, sd mt
Monkey with the dog" As the deg will
not bewsre OF you, do you beware Of the
deg You nav have noticed on the
stc4rdotsl garments of your instructor,
my son, some queer, unsigntly splsshes
here HDd there. Well, put tbs m on my
self. Without the assistance or by the
fault Of ny man, did it. And If there
are asy more to go on before have it
renovoted am the only fellow who c.G
put them there. Now you may go sud
play spd have fun, and don't let me ever
again hear YOU say thst you would oe the
best boy in the world If only all the other
boys were dead.