davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02
The Lime Kiln Club. :,

1T ar my dooty to explain" said Brother
Gardner, as the hall grew quiet, ''dat the
Hon Gawge Washington Jones, of Memphis,
arrove hear two days ago on purpose to de-
hber lecktur' befo' dis club De name of
bis lecktur' ar; How an When to Econo-
mize' had chance to look de gem'lan
ober an size him up, an las night | walked
him down to de ribber, pinted across to
Canada an told him to skip. He skipped
Sich of you as had your moufs all ready fur
sumthfn' good, will no doubt feel a bit disap-
pinted until fm,ler explain. By keerful
study of de Hon. Jones diskibered most of
his pints
"l found dat hs was economizin' on boot
heels to buy mo- brass watch chain.
"He was makin' one shirt las him doorin'
| de spring sezun in order to buy TO pink col
lars which reached up to his ears.
HE hadn't any underclothes, but lie had a
galvanized watch dat run twenty-six hours
to de day.
"He was barfut in his butes, but he wore q
glass diamond dat nebber cost less dan thirty
cents.
"He hadn't any obercoat, but he wore a
pair O. bewtiful yaller kid gloves dat made
cherry street kyar hoss stop dead in his tracks.
"While he didn't carry comb nor brush,
he sv-elled out wild blue handkerchief on
which de car of Russia might have ached to
blow his nose.
HE showed me dozen blank checks on
varus banks dat be was luggin' around fur
show, but 1t took his las nickle to git across
to Canada.
'He had a bewtiful way Of speakin' to you,
but three different policemen war gwine to
run him in fur a suspicious character.
"While he hadn't had good squar' meal
fur two weeks, he was armed wild a dozen
cheap cigars to make show on de streetsl
II looked ober him, an under him, an all
aroun' him, an cum to de conclushun dat
we didn't want any of his hints on economy.
didn't want to seem too cold and severe wId
him, an srter turnin' de subjick ober in my
mind decided dat de United States was an
unhealthy climate fur his system"
On motion of Waydown Bebee the thanks
Of the club were rendered the president for
his action In the cese, and resolution Of
sympathy was extended to Pickles Smith for
having loaned the Hon Jones 81 In cash
without security.-Detroit Free Press
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02
The Rhyme of the po~let.

Two lovers lingering on a stooplet,
Beneath the stars so still and grand
In dreams he saw the wedding hooplet
OF gold upon her tiny hand.
he slightly leaned upon his canelet,
A timid youth, and frail to see,
And in his heart he felt painlet,
For love was young and SO WIS hei
They had partaken Of a creamiet,
As lovers will while they are twain,
And now were busy on the schemelo6
OF where and how to meet again
Meanwhile, unto the lone back yardlet
Her father sneaked: a chain let 60,
Alack, fond love, and, aiack, bardlet
That must relate this tale Of woei :.
The youth went bounding like goatlet,
With yell and shrek he outward sped
The dog returned piece Of coatlet
Hung from his mouth. Loves dream was dead
Madeline s. Bridges In Judge.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

He walked into Woodward avenue shoe
store and asked to see the proprietor imme-
diately.
swell, sirF' queried the latter.
81 stole this pair of shoes here last night, !"
said the man in virtuous tone
"Ahl You didl And you found you had
conscience after all, In spite Of your many
efforts to kill it, so you came to return them
and claim the usual reward for honesty
''Oh, no." said the tramp, with surprised
air; 81 thought you would be kind enough to
exchange them These are two and a half
sizes too large The fraternity all know me
as Small Footed Jim 1-Detroit Free Press
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

The local newspaper of Seymour, Conn.,
says that a citizen of that place recently
drove out TO Zoar bridge to see the ice heaps
still remaining. At the toll gate was young
woman "with~rong attractions for a white
horse, as the editor puts it, and the citizen
thought be might safety quiz her bit She
answered all his questions demurely and with
no apparent thought of malice; but when,
having had his little joke he asked her what:
it cost TO 60 over the bridge, the answer
came back: "lf you could read that sign
you'd see for yourself. Hog, one cent;
iackass, two Give us two cents!"-New
York Sim
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

Beatty's Ivory Starch.
Labor saving, harmless to fabric, perfect finish.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

Mrs. Phoebe Cheseley, Peterson, Clay
Co., Iowa, tells the following remarkable
story, the truth Of which is vouched for by
the residents Of the town: II am 20 year
old, have been troubled with kidney com
plant and lsmeness for many years; could
not dress myself without help. Now [ an
free from all pain and soreness, and an
able to do all my own housswork. l owe
my thanks to Electric Bitters for having
renewed nay youth, and removed com
pleteiy all disease and PAIN" Try & bot
tie. soc and ST., at Charles Ludlow Il Co.:
Drug Store.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

Lake winona, Wisconsin, has a whale.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

About seven years ago George W Mitchell,
Of Palatka, Fla, failing against cactus
plant, one of its thorns entered the calf OF his
leg. Several weeks later the thorn was with
drawn from a swelling Oh his chin. This
story is q welcome change from the old news
paper item about girl running needle into
her thumb which caused her no pain until
six years subsequently,, when it was removed
from the ankle OF her brother-in-law; but it
is about as hard on mans credulity.-Nor-
ristown Herald
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02
. Tho Timid Witness.

JudgSThe witness will raise her right
hand and be sworn
Witness-Will your honor please do me q
favori
Judge-What Is it, madami
Witness-Won't you let a couple of wit
nesses be sworn with met I'm 50 timid and
nervous that don't like to be sworn alone.
Texas Siftings
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

Lincoln Girl-Nellie, l cannot imagine why
you should refuse to marry that rich and
agreeable young man, Mr.. Bingby, and then
consent to become the wife Of person like
Qufmby.
"Why can't your
"Mr. Bingby is polished and educated,
while Mr. Quimby, to say the least, isl
"The finest first baseman l ever saw, and
that settles itr-Lincoln State Journal
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02
A Sure Thing for the Future

81 see by q scientific paper that this
country is destined to furnish fuel for tie
world before long"
"Whyr
"The coal fields of the United States are
practically inexhaustible, while those Of
other countries are almost worked out"
"Then have great deal of sympathy for
the world 1t will be bankrupt IN a few
years. Omaha World
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup. for chill
dren teethiDg, Is the prescription of one of
the best female nurses and physicians in
the United States. and has been used for
years with never-failing success by millions
of mothers for their children. During the
process of teething its value Is incaleulable.
1t relieves the child from pain, cures dysen
tery and diarrhea, gripping in the bowels
and wind collie. By giving health to the
child 1t rests the mother. Price 25ca bottle.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02
RAILROAD TINE CARD.
Pittsburg. Cincinnati and st. Louis Rail.
Uav Cornuauv-pxp Hardf. Rauta

Pittsburg, Cincinnati and st. Louis Rail.
way Cempany-Psn Handle Route.
Under schedule in effect November Is
1887, trains leave Springfield, central stand
ard time, for Xenia, Dayton, Richmond,
St. Louis, Chicago, and all points west and
northwest Cincinnati, Columbus and east
ward $3.50 a. m, for Xenia, Dayton, Gin
cinnati, Richmond and Indianapolis t9:40
a. m, for Xenia, Dayton, Cincinnati, Col
umbus, indianapolis, St. Louis and Chicago
1880 p. M, for Xenia, Dayton and Cincin-
natl t5:e0 p. IN.
Trains arrive in Springfield at t7:25 and
1920 q. m., 1905 pm. and $3.50 p. m.
*Daily. tDaily except Sunday.
SAN DoDDs Ticket Agent.
Bsvsiand, Columbus, Cincinnati and
lnulnuapoIis Railway.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

Doctor twho has been taking dispensury
patients terperaturel-Now, my good wo-
man, how do you feelf"
Patient teyeing the thermometer with con.
siderable awei-Much letter, thank ye. Sure
an that's wonderful thing that'n help, a
body 50 quickr'-Judga.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02
A Biblical Advertiser,

For the benefit of those who abhor prin-
ters ink as the prime factor to the advance
ment Of their interest, We will state that
Samson 1.-THE strong party YVES the first man
to advertise. He took two solid columns to
demonstrate his strength, and several thou.
sand people tumbled to his scheme He
brought down the ehouse-Covington Qnd.)
Peoples Paper.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

Agent-Cn put burglar alarm In your
house. sirl
Citizen-Nop. | had one once
Agent-What vas the matteri Wouldn't
1t go Off
Citizen-Oh, yes, it went of easily enough.
Burglar got into the house one night and car
ried it OF. New York Sun.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02
4 Great Commercial rrnth.

Johnny 'whose father is an editor1-Say
Mr. StorekceI'cr. do you keep sugar, coffee
ten, calico and thIngsi
Storrkeeper-Certainly, my boy.
johnny Yes, and pa says you will keet
'em unltsSs you advertise lid Bits.
A Natural Supposition.
Josh Geehaw-Say, mister, is there cir
Gus here toiayf
"No. what made you think sor"
"Ain't thcm clowns comm up the streetF
"Thosef Why, they are students In lawn
tennis suits. Haven News
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02
Understood His Business.

Grocers Clerk-Mrs De Rich's order this
morning contains the word sugar, but does
not say how much
Grocer-What else does she orierl
Nothing else except ten boxes Of straw
berries"
''Send up a barrel Omaha World.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

Mortgages are signed by two witnesses, the
same as last year, and are folded SO as TO fit
the side pocket The back taxes are combed
forward, and parted on the side nearest the
mortgage. In this climate mortgages gen.
orally mature in the winter season.-Duluth
Paragrapher
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

Mrs Peterby ito new servant)-The last
servant had a habit of going into the parlor'
with her young man and sitting there the,
whole evening. have you young mani
New Seryant-No, mum: but | might get
one with such Inducements offered-Judge.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

Visitor-I should think that the proprietor
would have more consideration for the feel
ing of his editors than to come in and tear
around like that.
Managing Editor-That wasn't the pro-
prietor. That's the baseball reporter.
burg Chronicle.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02
OPEN.


Blobson-Had little tea fight at our house
last night
Dumpsey-1ndeedI
Blobson-Yes; my wife said there ought to
be two is in better. and said there ought to
be only one.
Dumpsey-Your wife was right
Blobson-Ehi Right For heavens sake
don't tell her, or she'll never let up on me.
I'm president Of the Burlington Business
Mems Literary cluh"-Burlington Free
Press
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

Buffalo Jim-Hello. Tenderfoot, what air
ye a-doin' out heref
Tenderfoot-I am an undertaken, and wish
to lind good point for starting business
B. J.-Move on, then-this poiiltwon't do.
We haven't single doctor in the e,camp.-
Georgia Cracker :!
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02
Eenu,ation Already Made.

Young man." he said, why don't you
give up this life of idleness and luxury and
try to make narie for yourseltr'
"Twy and make a name foy myselfi Why,
my deal sir. my little English foxhound took
the first pwize ut the dog show, b'joven-
New York Sun
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

How did you manage to capture such q
handsome wife, Mr. Tucker. when you are
such homely manr' "Oh, my good clothes
did it, just put on my best bib and tuck
hsr. Burdette in Brooklyn Eagle
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02
On the Way to Colorado Spring.

Algernon fhis first Western trip,-Aw, I
suppose you see good many queer people
round here, don't youi
Native-Waal, yes, stranger-when the
trains from the east come in.-Life
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02
No Cause for Comniaint.

Editors Young Wife-My dear, you must
pardon me for coming down in a wrapper
this morning.
Editor-Dont mention it, my love Some
OF our most valued exchanges come to Us in
wrappers. s.--Burlington Free Press
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

Teacher-Children, there is something
within you that tells you when you have
done wrong What Is iti
Small Boy tgorsed with green applesl-l
know, sir. It's the collie. c.-Detroit Free Press
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02
The Long beginning.

1t is said that many literary men Of this
country owe much to their wives If their
wives paid the postage on their first literary
ventures on their rounds anr>ng the maga-
zines, this statement is unquesuonably true.
Lowell Citizen
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

THE BEST SALvE in the world for Cuts,
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum, Fever
Sores, letter, Chapped Hands, Chilblains,
Corns, and all skin eruptlons, and positive
ly cuIe, piles, or no payment required. 1;
is guaranteed to give perfect satisfaction,
or money refunded. Price 25 cents per
box. For sale by Charles Ludlow d Co.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

Omaha Man-l see by the paper that a
Chicago doctor Is making artificial noses OF
xylonita
Chicago Man-My graciousl Is that sol
The xylonite noses can't smell, can theyi
Omaha nan--prohably not
Chicago Man, must get oue.-Omaha
World
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

Customer lin restaurant,-I say, waiter,
how about that broiled spring chickeni or
lered 1t half an hour ago.
Waiter-Yes sab; be here in minute.
Dat spring chicken died very hard, sah.-
New York Sun
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02
A Climatic improvement.

Montreal Lady ito American financier,-
Do you not find our Canadian cl mate rather
cold, Mr.. Boodlerf
American Financier-Oh, not at all; it
agrees with me. left New York because it
was too warm for me there-TexassSiftin
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02
Medical Aid.

Neighbor-How is your husband today,
Mrs. Jonesi
Mrs. Jones-He Is very i'll indeed.
"Worse than he wasf'
"oh, yes; the nurse says he is beyond the
reach Of doctors now"
"I'm glad to Lear it"
"Whatr
SIN glad 70 bear it. Now, II you can
only keep him beyond their reach think he
will get well rapidly. Texas Siftings
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02
HEAVY Artitery,

Bagley-I Zee that all the great guns they
are building nowadays are rihed
Gagley-Not all Some of the great guns
OF society that ! have talked to lately ere
nothing but smooth bores n-Life.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

Mabel ia stranger in town,-fs Mauds Hiay
o girl who cares much for stylei
Mamie-Ityiei | should think So Why,
they say the affected thing eats her meals off
Q fashioa plate New Haven News.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

"A man shousi always be allcw wed to pick
his own friends" says writ II. This is
especially true when ones frien Is have been
tarred and feathered.-Burb lgton Free
Press
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

Daughter-Mamma, the chimney sweep on
the roof the house has just kissed his hand to
me. Mothef-How shockingl Run at once
4 to the bedrson and wash yourseIf-Der
4 SchaIk
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

Young Woman tblushing violentlyI-Are
you the gentleman who has charge Of the ad-
vertising department of the paper, sirf
Clerk-Yes, miss; what can l do for you'll
Young Woman-I-er-want to advertise
IA second hand type writer for sale l
shall have no further use for it'd Bits
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02
Candid.
Boy-Want a boy, sirl

Boy-Want boy, sirl
HobSon--What fort
Boy-Why. ter pay ss a week to Saturday
night
Hobson-For doing whati
Boy-Why, fur waiting all the week.for it.
Life
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

She-No. Mr.. Brown, you need not hope
can never be moro than sister
He-A sisteri Lend me FIVE dollars-De-
troit Free Press
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

Complexion powder is an absolute ne
cessity to the refined toilet in this climate.
Pozzoni's combines every element of beauty
AMI purity.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02
Evidently a Loser

Wife Which ball club beat today, joint
Husband tdejectedly,-The other one
Life
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

The old pyramid builders must have been
a race Of hustlers. Even their mummies
were pressed for time.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02
True.

The lighter the gas the heavier the bills
Dansville Breeze.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

A Philadelphia doctor says: IF yru
want your wife to be healthy, MAKE her
cry about once fortnight"
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

Mr.. John o. Gray, of Abba, Iowa,
served at the age of 10 years is a drummer
boy at Waterloo.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

He-Hsre, dear Beatrice, far, far from the
busy haunts of men, where no eye can see
nor no voice reach US, let me assure you
lit was at this particular moment that IA
well known exclamation reached their ears,
Il ifa
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

She-Sorry TO miss you the other night
when you called, but was at Q progressive
euchre party and won prize.
He with much meaning,-Ah, but you.
might have done the same at home!
She-True-but never play for the BOBBY.
-Lifa
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

5oston without change.
40. 4 Is the famous limited express com.
oosed entirely Of vestibule sleepers, east of
Cleveland. lhrougn vestibuie sleepers from
Springfield Eskes New IoTk in 3p5S houru
and Boston In sH hours.
q. h. KNIGHT,
4. &. Ticket Agent.
D. B. MARTIN, Arcade Depot.
:. ?. a Sprinxfeld.O
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-02

Mrs. Breezy, or Chicago ito daughter)-It
has occurred to me of late, dear, that George
Is not quite SO attentive and devoted to you
as he was when you first became engaged
Miss Breezy mervouslyl-Oh, mamma,
you don't think he intends to crawfsh, do
youl-The Epoch
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1888-10-26
constitution Centennial.

fnJ telegraph tN tLf ui-Itt'hl
WtaHINoTu>. ID. g.. October 25.-At the
meeting tonight oi fbe Centennial ENpoai-
ton Executive Committee Ia charge OF The
preparations fof soc c%cntepnls. oi the Con
,tituiou JOB 1850 and the three Americas and
Worlds Exposition in 1872 It Wa decided
~ hold q meeting % the National Board OF
Promotion At Washington on December the
am. TINS board Is composed oi the Coy
ernors of the t1iriy-eight States and Territo-
rl.-. the MAYORS % Gfty.tAree leading cities,
one hundred ood uity-iiye presidents and
secretaries 81 toe board. OF trade throughout
t1c United States. and the officers Of state
ana territorial granger and agricuitural soc'.
enes. 10 view ot the factthat The legislation
before Congress u, likely 10 De cousummated
before The holidays, one ~ Toe leading OBJ
iect. ~ the MEETING viii De a conference
about action before thirty state and Terri.
t1fisl legislatures which Will meet in Jauu-
rrN-
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1888-10-26
whas Axworfhy Did Before He
AkfDped.

TBy telegraph % ue D'spatch.l
CLEVELAND, ONO, October 2j.- When
Thomas ANworthy. the defauiting city trea,
surer, bade Cleveland a hasly goOd-by on
September 2Sth. be had on bis person bills 81
exchange representing more than 100000
drawn on DreXel, Morgan & Co.. Of New
York city. THIS wss independent OF the
cash bee had with him, which is known 70 De
az least s3l 900. How much more money ne
took away with him. II any, will probably be
learned ssthe oflcisl Investigation progresses.
The manner In which be obtained the bills OF
eXchsncrlnd ais disposition Of them disproye
OH theories advanced by biz friends To sup
UOrt o. the belief that be had not deliberately
feeced the city Of whsteyer he could lay hs
bands on when be SAYS that the crash was
coming aud 1ed. On the day before BIS de-
parture be visited the National City Bank,
the Ohio National Bauk, the United National
Bank. the Cleveland National Bank, and the
Commercial National Bank and purchased
bills Of exchange on DfoXel, Morgan
& CO., ~ New York. amounting 70
a sum slightly IN excess Of = hundret
thousand dollars. The only national banks
that be did not visit for this purpose were
the Merchants and the Bank OF Commerce,
and ihe reason is plain. Tor bts bondsmen,
Nr. wade aud senator n. b. Payne, are cor
rected one OF Zoe other with these instiiu-
hDus. aud Womb have had their suspicious
aroused by such an action.
Axworhy gave his personal checks m pay
ment Tor lhe bilis. Drexel. Morgan e Go.
have q number of branch offices iu Europe,
aud The simplest losic leads 10 The conclusion
that Axwofthy converted bis Cleveland
pspcr into foreign blis OF exchange nc the
New York oflc. before Doe went % Montreal.
The dedication Is ~ least sito.000 aud may
Doc etN more. NO trace OF The missing man
after Doe left Montreal on October I'd has va
been found. bis friends say be Is probably
iu Belgium.