Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1888-10-26
CARL DUNDER.
He Fails to Catch on to American Politics.

He Fails 10 Catch on to American Politics.
"Wen, what's the matter with YOUR
queried Sergt. Bendall as Carl Dnnder
limped into the station house the other
day and flung himself down on the near
est chair.
Sergeant, vhas here to BID yoa good
bye"
"No!'
q vhas going back to shermany."
Il declare. WhaJ put that into your
headH"
81 vhas Geek una tired. I can't under
stand desc peoples. Nobody vhas two
times alike IN America"
But you told me you were going to
run fo7 alderman, and that you had
caught On to American politics"
DOT vhas my drouhIee. 1 peIievo I
know all about her, but know nuddings.
l vhas going to TN for aiaeTmans. /
promise dot hay scales TO fesfty men. I
promised dwenty men dot dey shall be
janitor of der city hail. I promised
more as one hoonered felIar5 dot deg
shall work for de city for three dollars 8
day."
"That was all right. That's the way
most of the candidates DO"
Eyes, bat l don't understand. Three
days ago Teller comes in my place uud
says Vhas I Cad Dunder. l vhas. Did
you promise dot eastern hay scales TO my
brudder if he vote fer you? I did. Urd
did you promise her to more ash twenty
udder fe!lers, too? / did. Well, you
vha5 fraud und u liar, ind now you
take dot on der nose! IND he gifts me
scoch thump dot 1 see more ash feefty
s ars aroundt. How does it come dot
some Americans can work dot dodge und
be all! al! Tigh'f"
'Vheu, told you der odder day dot I
promise more ash feefty men dat dey
snail be engineer of der city hall if dey
vote for me. In comes a man in my
place nit his hat on his ear und says was
1 Cal Dunder? l vhas. Vhas you GO
ing to run for some aldermans? | vhas.
Dis you premise all my crowd dot each
Que of us would run der engines nit der
city hail? 7 did. Den, Seargent, he gifs
ne sOoch blow on my mouth dot l cant
eat meat for seek months, uud when he
goes away he says do! forty nine moro
felierE 7Eas TO come after him. Some
American candidates cen promise dot
shop to one hooGered feliers und be all
right. How vhas she?"
I don't snow"
"Und poorly quick a Teller comes III my
place und says vhas l dot Ouldt Daoh-
mans who wants to be an al6ermans? I
vhas- II | vhas elected he shall get all
der paving jobs uGd make lots Of money.
he calls ne 2 liar unG says l promise dot
same thing more ash two hoonerd times,
ind he m0ps ne On my floor und goes
2 say like Z lark. Iii vhas some Ameri-
can candidate he vhas al peaches. How
Yhas she2"
II don't know"
"Yhell, efery day somDody comes und
calls me q liar ind says | should be
kicked. Fiery day comes some felier
nit mis- hat on his ear ind sharges me
NIT holding him oop for sucker. Ny
boy Shake vhas scared away, .my wife
vhas seek abed, ind l hat TO lock up my
place or be kilt
ats sad ljnss."
"Und so gaess 1 shall go back TO
SLerDauy. In dot country vhas all
right. IF man sprseheus to me in Sher-
naa 1 know What he vhgs. If he speaks 20
me in Yankee, maybe he makes g fool OF
ne, like 10 go by dot common conn
Gil md be a great man, bat I can't stand
s0och 6 racket. I vhas . good enough
liar, bat leave something else ont all the
time und dsr dear peoples tumble to me.
Farewell Sergeant. You vhas always vwo
times alike, md I shall feel good b. you
when I am fsE away. If you meet some
udder Dutchmans shGst speak nit him
ind tell him to keep oudt of desc poll
tics"