The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1888-02-04

For some purposes they are dyed yellow,
red OR black. They are made in hun
dreds of shapes and sizes. When one
sees on a spool OF thread 400 yards" or
1000 yards" these words do not signify
that the thread has been measured, but
that the spool has been gagged. and it is
supposed to contain so much thread.
81 don't suppose | could get drink of
whisky here?, said stranger who had
dropped into the drug store.
mo, sir, the law doesn't allow it,
Eyes, that's what l was AFRAID of but
what kind of medicine do you sell the
most of to dyspeptics and with that tired
feeling, you know"
I'VE sell good deal of Teetotal Bit
ters'
Thanks. I'll take bottle.''
''You have travelled Il great DEAL Mr..
Coophouse?''
Eyes, miss, Eve been all over the
world"
"You have met a great many celebri-
ties, l suppose?'
give been presented before all the
crowned heads of Europe
''Indeed. What is your profession?"
Pm prize fighter"
Tramp-Can you give me bite to eat,
madam?
Woman-I Can give you some cold
meat. But if you'll split enough wood
for me to make fire with, I'll warm it
up for you.
Tramp-You are very kind, madam;
but wouldn't think of putting you to
all that trouble. Give it to me cold
| Ne0 York Sun.
mo, l am not in favor of retaining
the tax on tobacco" said kiljordan, as
he critically examined the cigar he was
smoking. "While tobacco may not be a
necessity, everybody knows that the Con-
necticut cabbage is"
1t certainly is not luxury" said
Grindstone, raising the window to get
some fresh CNicago Tribune
Esmeralda Longcoffin to Hostetter
McGinnis-'Ar you still with me, Mi.
| McGinnis?"
blcGinuis-"What about?"
"4Ou know on Christmas you proposed
and | cruelty rejected your offer. have
I have thought better of it SINCE
"Humph! So have l."
When suffering from throat or lung
troubles, take only such medicine as has
been proved worthy of confidence. Such
remedy is Ayers Cherry Pectoral; a
specific for sudden colds, and invaluable
in all forms Of pulmonary complaints.
Sold by druggists. Price Il.
Pretty Servant Girl-You don't give
full weight.
Grocer (sighiag)-I know it, but you
| alone are to blame for that.
Servant Girl-How's that?
Grocer Cleaning on her)-I want to
make your burden as light as possible,
my dear.-7tcas Sittjngs.
1T is worth its weight in gold" is a
common expression. But while the
value OF gold is easily affected, the worth
of Ayers Sarsaparilla, as blood purifier,
never depreciates. 1t will eradicate
scrofuIa from the system when every.
thing else fails.
He-There is one thing about our thea
tres that Anthony Comstock can but ap-
prove, whatever be on the stage.
She-What is that, pray?
He-The general and growing use of
opera glasses. 1t is SO much more mod
est than the use OF ths naked eye
LOtoeU Citizen.
Girls in China are believed to have no
souls and to kill them is not murder. In
UhiS Seuu1iJ SoAo gins dic bciicFcu W
have no hearts, but if Tilted man was to
kill one of them, the law would make as
much fuss as if she had a heart as big as
water bucket.
The worst feature about catarrh is its
dangerous tendency to consumption.
Hoods Sarsaparilla cures catarrh by
purifying the blood.
Professor at Vassar (to class Now,
who can tell me the most wonderful
achievement of the nineteenth century ,
Miss Morris, see your hand raised"
Miss Morris (proudIy).-"My sister
Nellie has taught her pug dog, Thistle,
to chew gum"
Ayers Sarsa parilla purities the blood,
and expels all poisonous clements. Sold
By druggists.
An advertisements in a recent morning
paper announces that the advertiser
wanted a servant who knows how to
wash, cook and take care of children
We wonder what is to be done with the
children after they have been washed and
cooked.
One Eact