The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-08-11
A FAMILY PICNIC.

aur after that one cbullition of wrath,
settled back in my chair and serenely
perused the evening papers Serenely,
say. well appeared to be III perfectly
undisturbed state of mind, but any fair
minded reader who can well understand
tho-well the cnyironment-will al once
perceive that saint couldn't stand such
a suggestion, and never even pretended
10 be one though know l am as good as
the average man.
II was a little rough OF my wife, III
admit, and ] suppose ! shall make 1t up
10 her in some way, but I'll be drawn into
any kind of extravaganza, take trip TO
Japan. 20 into the wilds of Africa, do
ANYTHING, before III ever again submit to
the torturous experiences of family
picnic. and I'm a man Of spirit when I'm
aroused
You occasionally find one who is led
around by his wife and her relations, but
Ina not the individual
Perhaps you DO not understand. but
when things are too eXasperating lrelieve
my mind by sharing my experience with
an imaginary reader, feeling sure OF ms
sympathy.
lullaby the way, it is only in moments
of great excitement call her by her full
name-left the room Immediately after !
refused the invitation that had come from
her mother and sisters and cousins, etc,
10 join them ia theirannual outing.
A few years ago. | remember, 1t was
really pleasant affair. We used TO sail
up the river, land ON an island for dinner,
sail farther up stream, go ashore, wander
around for time and then return by
moonlight; but last years experience was
more than mortal man can endure and in
a seraphic way hear the internal kind Of
affair again mentioned
Why, we started as they all do, with
baskets and bundles, gossamers and UNI
brellas, wife and children piled into the
coach that took US to the wharf, where we
embarked on the little steamer that has
taken the place of the boats we used in
former days.
managed TO keep the boys near me
most of the time, so the voyage was com
paratively uneventful. though Alph sue
cccded in putting his feet on one of the
baskets, thereby demolishing the custard
pies that occupied the top for safety CO
and Del overturned a milk can that | had
Nlltltarif llANtu HfNAAt hHN beN@hNNr b"N
those were minor matters
The first hour things went on pretty
smoothly. i few went fishing for fish
they didn't catch; the girls-l mean my
wife's young sisters-with some half
dozen cousins and friends, angled too not
all with the same kind of bait, however,
and noticed not for the same kind OF
fish. but they angled.
Now time was when could catch fish
every time threw fly, and Ill leave 1t
to any other fellow to say if it isn't about
as fascinating sport AS man ever eX
periences, especially when he is the sue
cessful one of the crowd. This time,
however. though Mary's husband, my
brother in Law, was one of them, and
cousin Helen and jim, with julia in the
boat with them, rowed away to the
shadiest nook they could find they seemed
10 consider me in the light of nurse
maid for Mothcr-in-law Spiller said, "Of
course you'll 60, Julia get right into the
boat You've had care enough OF those
children, and John and will see to them
today and let you havo day of rest"
What could do but insist upon it, too?
l did really WISH the dear girl TO have an
enjoyable time, but the-well, never mind
what proposed 10 say-Im not GROWER
like some men; | never was, but suffice it
TO say, Julia went, and was glad of it,
of course.
her mother. with few other elderly
ladies, stayed to arrange the lunch. that
appeared 10 them TO be tho chief attrac-
ton. Uncle Ben devoted himself to the
boys for u short time, but Mother in law
Spiller soon called him TO squeeze the
lemons and prepare the kindlings and
wood they would need for the fry, and
sundry other things that always fall To
his lot. Somebody, you know, has TO be
general utility man on such occasions, and
Uncle Ben, fortunately for the rest, was
always the one. When / was more of q
youngster, used TO pity him, but since
I'm paterfamilias of several years stand
ing, imagine the sly twinkle of his eye
means more than ! once suspected, and
my sympathy turns to admiration and
envy.
John. look sharp after the boys"
called out Mrs Spiller.
Alph was Juggling at my coat sleeve,
and Del had both hands in one of my
pockets. but | remarked pleasantly, III
keep them i'll sight"
IL wasn't long before Alph was pinch
ing Del, and Del was striking out iii a
forcible II not scientific way. 1t took con
siderable muscle TO separate the young
belligerents, but that wasn't all Their
grandmother saw the performance, and
expressed her disapproval by saying in
her most dignitied way, "A man who can
not control his own temper is not fit 10 DO
a father, and then with lachrymal glands
in working order. added, Thank heaven,
Julia did not witness this scene"
| most ANONYMOUSLY retreated-that
Is. | did not utter one word, | merely
picked up the two urchins, and went on
an exploring tour.
rolled on the grass and let them crawl
over me. played leap frog" and hot
oven" with them. barred my feet and
waded out as far as the water was shall.
low. carrying one on my back while led
the other through the stream, and TO cap
the whole | made one misstep and went
Leadlong into the water.
The boy on my back bounced oil, and
the other one tumbled down aud chung to