Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-01-06
MR. AND MRS. BOWSER.

BOWScr was Ou!lulng Ile nOuSe ho
got an idea that furnace heat warp
ed all the woodwork, and that
steam was a dangerous and sinister
enemy. A few days ago, when it
was time to put up base-burncrs,
he said to me:
"Mrs. Bowser, do you know what
makes heatW
"Coal and wood, suppose"
"Has combustion anything to do
with it 2"
81 suppose sO.'
"Don't you know so ? IfnOt, why
don't you find out? There is no
excuse for ignorance in this day
of the world. If combustion caus.
es heat what naturally follows I"
at naturally follows that it does.'
eyes, and it naturally follows
that you don't know enough to
come in when it rains d. | was going
to talk to you about the purchase
of a coal stove-twO or three of
them. but it would be useless.
Some minds can't comprehend
anything beyond an old crazy
quilt and a blas.eyed baby y
81 know a coal stove when ! see
it, Mr.. Bowserw
"Oh! you do? What is the prin-
ciple-the great fundamental prIn-
ciple-of a base. burner ?"
"Why, you put in the coal, and
the fire heats the room.'
"Um . Very smart. What causes
the coal to burn y
"The fire.
"Alrs. BowScr ?" said he in his
most solemn manner, sit was a
good thing YOU married me If
you hadn't you would never have
known n sand pile from circus
Don't you kuow-that is, can't |
make YOU comprehend-that there
must be draughtS, hueS, checks,
0yer-currcnts, under.currents, COM
bustion, anti-cOmbnstion, cogs,
ratchets, shakers, dumps and a
dozen other things about a base
burner-such a base-burner as we
wantl II we have perfect com
bustion what follows 2"
"We-we are glad
ooh, we are ! Well it's no use to
waste further words on you! If
you were a widow you'd rush off
aud buy the first basc-burner yOu
set eyes on, and you'd never give a
thought as to whether it consumed
three or thirteen tons Of coal for
the winter. shall purchase such
stoves as | see ft."
They came up in a day or two,
three of 'em. One was for the
sitting room. another for the hall,
and the third was to 60 up stairs.
A man came along to put them mp
and start The fires. He showed
me about the damperS and checks,
and when Mr.. BoWser came home
everything was bright and cheer
ful, and the stoves had not given
me a moments uneasiness.
"NYho started these fires = de-
manded Mr.. Bowser, almost before
he had crossed the threshold.
"Why the man who put up the
stoves
ale did, eli 2 And what does he
know about starting a fire in a
coal stove, I'd like to know. He
ought to be discharged for his as
surance."
"IIe seemed to know all about
it,"
"Well, seeming to know and
knowing are two very different
things. 1t is a good thing | ar
rived as | did, or the house would
have been blown up or burned
down. Let me at the stOver
And he began showing and pull.
ing at the doors and checks and
dampers in the sitting room stove
and then went the rounds Of the
house.
"The combustion was hardly ten
per cent" as he went back to tho
sitting.room, "while the waste o.
fuel was fully ninety. Didn't you
notice the imperfect circulation of
the hot air current" "
"NO, dear"
"Thats because you never noticC
anything until you hit it with your
nose. | have everything nicely
regulated now, and want to sec il
you have got brains enough to
"Mr BOwser, the gas is leaking
Can't you smell iti" | interrupted
"lt mast be-" he replied as III
smiled around; and he at once
made a tour of the house. Before
he had got back | had to open th'
door, and baby was deathly SICK.
Tt must be coal gas from the
stove, Mr.. Bowser, see bow blue
this flame is. Are you sure it i
regulated Z"
81 am sure that | am a human
being, instead Of goat |" he indig
nantly exclaimed, "There's a dea'
cat in this house."
However, we had to throw thu
windows up, and the question set
tied itself before we had fnishe
supper. Each fire went dead ou
and the odor abated.
"Yeu see, you shut off all tn