Morning journal and courier., 1888-01-27
GOLDEN.

Wife-HEsband, who was it said that silence was golden:
 Husband-I don't remember, love, but I think he must have been a married man. Washington Critic.
 Pleasant Feature.-He-"Did you read my story in the current number of the Every other Monthly Magazine, Miss Smith" She -"Yes, and liked it very much" He 'fThanks. We'll written-eh?" She-tVery; and so delightfully."- shert, you know."- Harper's Bazar.
 Dressmaker (to bsreaved widow(-"How long would you like the mourning veil to be, madam?" Bereaved widow (with 8 burst of grief)-'I don't care for expense at time like this; my husbands death was dread ful blow. Make the veil as long as the style will warrant. ."-The Epoch.
 Christian scientist-Have you ever tried the faith cure fer your rheumatisms
 Patient-Yes, I'm trying it now. I've got in my pocket the left hind foot of a grave- yard rabbit that was killed in the dark of the moon, and I'm blamed if I don't think it's helping me.-New York Sun.
 A Transcendentalist.- are you reading, Miss Wabash ?'' asked Miss Pitts burg, who was visiting in Chicago. 'I have through the medium of his essays" replied Miss Wabash. 'sDo you like Emerson .' ..Well, now, you're shouting "-Pittsbure Chronicle.
 Chicago editor Hooking over paper just out)-Here, MT. Proofreader, you've let a Whats that2 Editor-Why, wrote, ssThey devoted coupls,' and you have got it 'They are a divorced couple" Proof reader-Well, let it go. It will read all right to-morrow. Washington Critic.
 
 ing man (who has gone over to break few banks)-"How's this place; square game or faksa Want to know before go inl" Citizen -"You've got to play very carefully here. One of our prominent city officials lost dol- lar and thirty cents and two Gerard avenue horse car tickets at one sitting, the ether night. Pluck.
 Inquiring Child-"Mamma, Mrs. Blinks calls herself Mrs. John Thomas Blink and Mrs. Minks calls herself Mrs. Catherine Blank Minks Which is rights" Fashionable Nam A married lady retains her fathers name if he is greater man than her husband, and takes her husbands name if he is greater man than her father. r."-Omaha World.
 ~'sWhat are you going to say of my Iagos' asked the bling actor of the great dra-
 natic critic ''Well, Sugarcured," said the critic, you're friend of mine and I don't want 10 nQrb you; put your 1aRO WAS SC laundering bad that Pm afraid I shall have to call it careful and conscientious perform anoe." The actor buried his face in his hands. t'It must have been awful,' ,'' he said. Puck.
 Tommy (aged fve)-What do you do to the theater, MT. Simpkinsa SimpkinB Ia dude)-D-do to the theater, my little mani I don't do anything at the thsater. I am not an actor. W-what put that in your head9
 Tommy-Well, sister Annie said she wouldn't have you round only she thought you were good for the theater once week. Judge.
 'sYou spilled this ink on the floor, did youf said the wholesale grocer to the store boy; 'sthat is right; tell the truth. nay lad; would rather you spilled barrel of ink than to lie. Integrity, my boy, integrity and tTuthfuluess-let that be your motto. at- | tribute my business success to the strict obs seryance of that motto. You can now gc and finish steneilling Pure Vermont Maple Syrup on those molasses cans. ."-Chicago ! Tribune.