Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-05-24
Mr.. MOUSER'S SAWBUCK.

III" 4hOlAcCA anu liio 1At41 J 4AlLAC VIZ
occupied q charming cottage in the
suburbs of large city in the Father
land.n His business connections were
of such a nature that he was usually at
leisure after o'clock in the afternoon.
This gave him time to devote a great
deal of attention to his wife and home
and pursuits congenial to man of his
caliber.
Mr.. Mouser prided himself on being
man of originality and brains. Mr..
Mouser also liked a little joke-a at 9th
er peoples expense.
1t was autumn. Mr.. Mouser had
Just laid in goodly supply of winter
fuel. Wood was chiefly used for this
purpose in the land of Mr.. Mouser's
birth.
Sitting by the window of his cosy
living room enjoying royal smoke
from a long-stemmed porcelain pipe,
Mr.. Mouser watched the wood-saWyer
PLYING his trade, made easy by long
habit of handling wood and saw. As
Mr.. Mouser gazed and pondered, an
idea crept into his head. 1t was grasp
ed-as ideas quickly became captive
there.
Lisbeth,n said he to his wife, cit is
singular | never thought of it before
/ generally think of such things-but
1t strikes me that l could saw that
wood myself"
Gracious! What an idear'
"A bright one, isn't it? A big saw
ing, too! just see with what ease it is
done-the man cuts through the stick
as if he were slicing bread and butter;
besides, l require more exercise-my
health is not what it has been"
''Why, dear, do you feel lip"
''N-nO; but man needs to exert him
self if he does not wish to run down in
muscular power. My habits are too
combining; a sense of this fact has been
growing on me lately. But | have soly-
ed the difficulty while watching that
man play on his saWjack."
A merry twinkle Of the eyes and q
laudable cndeavor to maintain seri-
Gus expression would have convinced
the beholder that Lisbeth also had ideas;
but like 4 properly respectful wife she
kept them to herself until called for.
DO you not think, Lisbeth, that a
little gentle muscular activity is what
j need to stimulate appette?"
''You might paint the house or do
some less tiresome work than wood
saving" replied Mrs. Mouser.
"Oh, YOU underrate my capacities,
my dear And saving wood is not such
hard work. Come and see how simply
it is done, yet how every muscle is
brought into play. | am enchanted
with the idea and shall carry it out
The man can finish this job, but il
shall be the last / ever pay for. What
think you of it, wife?"
well, = laughed the lady, demurely,
al think we shall be obliged to live on
cold victuals and wear blankets to keep
from freezing. But, seriously, dear, il
were you | would experiment on q
few cord-sticks and assure myself thai
it is as easy us it looks"
That's just like woman?' retorted
Mr.. Mouser, disdainfully; ''she never
does anything heroically; she is totally
incompetent in matters of physical cal
culation. Now, | can see just as well
as if [ had stood over that mans saw
jack for an hour the amount of force
required to drive saw through a stick
of cord-wood. And [ declare to you,
here and now, that [ am going to dc
the next load myself. 1t is play
thing but plays
Lisbeth laughed so tantalizingly that
Mr.. Mouser turned upon her in furry
of Indignation, saying:
You seem to have your doubts, ma
damp
Seeing is believing, STRIP
well, YOU shall see. You ought tC
know by this time that I am a man
with a mind of my own, and when
say am going to do a thing | do it
Please bear this in your shallow men
tality, Mrs. MouSer, that l, your hus
band, am determined to nevermOre pay
one dollar for woOd-sawyer's hire"
i am afraid | shall have to do lit
: of the wood-sawing myself, then,
S,rayely muTmured Mrs. Mouser.
Mr.. Mouser meant business. He a
once ordered the very best kind of {
sawing-iack made. He purchased {
splendid saw, with sharp teeth and {
light frame. He pranced about happy
as a schoOl-boy. with daubs of yellow
and green paint spattered all over hi:
person, until finally the saw frame suit
ed him in its bright red coat The saw
jack he painted lovely light green.
Daily he promenaded impatiently
around the sheds where the wood was
stored, and grumbled because the fue
lasted so unusually long. AT intervals
he added another coat of green pain
to the highly decorated sawing-jacl
("saw-buck' it is called sometimes)
and babe all his acquaintance and
friends come and inspect his patent cal
isthenic toys, until every one for mile
around became familiar with Mr.
Mouser's green sawing-jack.
At last the longed-for day arrived.
big load of fine hickory had been pileC
up in close proximity to the tools o
defamation.
Mr.. Mouser was all excitement. H
passed " his amused wife with import
ant disdain, and scarcely gave himsel
time to devOur his dinner, he was s.
eager to be at work.
Nothing more, thanks he replied
as his wife wished to repleniSh his cup
Rising. he fastened to handle his pet
with an ardor that caused Lisbeth t
smile knowingly - she watched hin
pick out the very smallest and H2a5
tender cord-sticks.
That was 4 great mistake on Nj
Mouser's part. He should have tackle
difficult ones first, on the simple bu
fruitful theory that custom would hav
sweetened his toll with the balm Q
greater ease.
Nv how the saw rented, and the alb
breviated sticks tumbled to the ground
Still, Lisbeth. who was peeping wit
laughter-brimminc eyes, noticed tina
at the third cord-stick work seemed t
slacken just little; but seven wer
finished, and Mr.. Mouser came in de