The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1888-07-16
THE SUMNER In MEMPHIS.
A MISSISSIPPI EDITOR SAYS THE
CITY is TOO DULL TO VISIT.
A Review OF the Facts Brings Con-
clusion that the Newspaper Man Is
of-Two TO One He Is Despondent
Over the Absence OF Baseball.

memphis is a dull place at this season
OF the year, and unless person has ur.
gent or important business II would pay
better to remain at home, says the
Clarksdale Independent.
Some men cannot be satisfied without a
never-endng circus parade, with bands OF
music, calliopcs, grating monkeys, open
cages OF animals and score OF excruciaiing
clowns To this they insist upon having
added political conventions, camp meet
ings barbecues, baseball, lawn tennis,
spring fights etc, and social scandal
daily thrown in NJ spice.
The ycarnine for these things has 40
settled down upon their minds that II has
become species Of mortality or distress
ing insanity.
II is even doubtful II the exciting indi-
yiduals will accept the invitation OF Peter
10 enter the gates OF heaven unless that
faithful old keeper stands ready 10 well
come them with bill Of mental fare con-
tanning all the dishes enumerated.
Memphis dull indeed The editor OF
the HidcycndcHi was eth or writing on hear
say. or il small boy. II the former he
should confess, correct aud apologize; II
the latter, the charge will be dismissed rs
the production Of one who sees fun In
nothing but baseball.
For the OBLIGATION OF the jndTppdGi
and Others who labor under a similar i'm.
preston TITE ArrElL will specify few Of
her leading attractions
I. She has jackson Mound park, with
its superb comic operas, concerts, orchcs.
nj At
tendants. cooling shades aud brccLcs, and
refreshing drinks, II taken In moderation.
9. She has Prospect park. with It's broad
area covered with grand old forest trees,
easily accessible by dummy railroad trains,
where parties may eongrcgaic and roam at
will. ,
8. She has IIookcr's park, alias Oakland
grove, where regulation frontier equipment
h necessary 20 personal safety.
T. She has two danny railroad lines,
either Of which will carry passengers
whirling 20 shady and inviting suburbs nj
the rate Of cents each.
.. She has rail and river excursions In
directions aud nj intervals 10 suit tho APP
plicant-if the applicant IL not a sticklcr
Tor accuracy aud promptness.
q. She has two street railroad companies,
either Of which. for cents head, will
land You at given destination along the
route in less than twcnty.four hours after
starting. No extra charge for being cdi.
fed and shaken up 10y hoOdlums.
Z. She has a police court that has,
through It's bubblingly humorous judge,
achieved an international reputation. Scs
sions are held daily except Sunday. Pub
lie invited 10 attend free Of charge.
3. She still has Court square, though n
appearance resembling n victim Of un
creased lightning or nm abandoned COW
pasture Seats which marked Il in lSil
arc still there, however, what's left o
them.
o. She has any number Of paved street.
90 ride over, any Of which IL y SURF cur
for dyspepsia OF lack OF appetite. II thU
dose h repeated daily ior one month ~,
patient Is hedgcd in against death iron
any save violent causes.
To- She has 1900 more or lcssl cncr
gciic, cnicrpring inhabitants, who vii
chccriully and promptly attend 10 all th
business entrusted TO them by conidin
ncighbon.
III. She has real estate boom that
temporarily slumbcring after proiracte'
and heavy spree.
r.. She has any desired quantity q
convenient tcrfltoff fcauN 70 DC OccuPlc
manufactures.
Is. She has several fine church cdiiiccs
within which services will be held Wit
uniailing regularity, hot weather or N
hot weather.
a. She has prctcntious political can
paign guaranteed 10 keep the boys pcrspiI
Ing all summer long.
Is. She has a colony Of negroes banlshc
from Chi,tcndcn county. Ark, where th
report got on, that ''thcy were risin'.'
10. She has q dismantled franchise
the southern baseball league, In seciionsi
unit the purchaser. Will sell OF exchang
fora good quality Of haysccd.
H. She has pack Of bloodhounds thI
may bc pcn almost any day chasing raj
bits and groundhogs on the outskirts.
H. She has few deputy shcrifs In h'
limits who are quick on the trigger an
fortunate In escape from punishment.
10. She has rock pile, the coavicts o