Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1888-05-25
HUMOROUS.
A pointed lctter-A,

HUMOROUS.
A pointed letter-A.
out of slght-The blind man.
An impossibility An ugly baby.
A Waity Qucstion---When will no
.ome2
Always ready to go bail---ootton
Drokcrs.
.4row !. the earth dividodT 'By
arthquakos, ma am.
Nothing is more liable to cau'c loss
# appetite than eating.
If n doctor orders bark has not tho
patient a right to growl'.
~ was raped in slumbor," SAID i"
ramp as the policeman hit him.
The Victoria Battenberg match seems
ikely to set Europe on fire unless 1t IS
cratched.
The Arab who invented alcohol died
,ine hundred years ago, but his spirit
till lives.
When does a successful lover tmnl
lie is getting ahcall When he is
ing heart.
The boy who undertook to r
:, ,orsc radish is now practicing on s
8 Tic Of mutton.
"a Our musical sharp says the bigge
"a hing in music is grand opera, bccau'
nc has tho most aria.
.Aa i man recently pcught = horse I
his photograph, thus literally getting 4
ng ;arte before the horse.
en- Old lady Gin grocery storG BE the
es lates fresh, boy7 They don't look $
~ 3oy-Ycs m they're of re cent d'ss
: A pig would seem the best sus
= !. medical students to experiment o.
lie could be killed first and cured al
ward.
4 You can't always judge the size O.
mans bank account by tho arts.
8 beauty of the picture on the outside o
, lis office safe.
II wish my namo were Notoriety,"
ighc 30-year old maiden. "Whyp
sked her mother. Because SO many
men court notoriety."
In the theatre-"But why do you
Eeep2 The acting is certainly not so
ouching." "Excuso me; l am bewail-
ng the money paid to come H."
A woman may not be able to sharpen
pencil or throw stone at hen, but
he can pack more articles in a trunk
han man into an express wagon.
A Gay young coquette is Miss Julia,
With flattery seeks she to rulia;
But 'twere best to beware,
Else you'll find that, though fair,
This maiden is seeking to fulia.
Nervous old lady, on the fifth floor of
lat: Do you know what precautions
he owner has taken against fire? Jau-
tor; Yis, mum he has the house in
.hoored for twice wot it's worth.
No man Knows how much he really
owes a woman until she has presented
lin with the worked canvas for the
.iles OF a natty travelling bag, and he
las paid 81 or $S for having it made up.
Many weary youth, sitting in bis
olitary room at midnight, and driving
big needle through button with the
back of his jack-knifc, is wondering
whether he will be doing his own sew
ng in 1889.
A Kansas school ma'am has intro
duccd new feature in her school.
When one of the girls isses word
Tho boy who spells it gets permission
70 kiss her As a result tho boys are
improving rapidly.
"Who made this hash2' "Why, my
lew Boston cook, Of course" "Then,
please return ! ser these remnants of
pair of eyey classes, and tell her that she
leedn't give her dishes such an intel
ectual flavor hereafter.
Wifo-"Tho gas collector was hero
lgain to day" Husband" "Did you
ell him to call again2' Wife eyes,
put he said it wouldn't be necessary"
Hu3band-" Wouldn't be necess ary2"
Wiie-''Yes, he shut the meter off "
"Don't you believe the milk l sell you
5 pure2' asked milkman of Gus
,omer who complained that the lacteal
iuid looked rather blue. 81 won't tell
Fou what believe" replied the Gus
toner "but know your milk makes
ny mouth water.
Poor France. your history if rightly We con
it,
Shows you t have always a B in your bon
net.
There's B for the Butcher, Bonaparte
first,
And for the Baker, Boulanger athirst.
Tis for whom nextl The Candlestick
makerl
pr is it for Bismarck, as Chief Undertaken