The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1888-08-11
PuNoENr PARAGRAPHS.

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Paper treated with . mixture q
camphor-oil and linseed oil becomes
waterproof. 1870
Mothers think that there is no
more precious boon in nature than to
be the object of baby's first sweet
smile. but bachelors would rather have
. dollar bill -Journal of Education.
And now diamond trust is talked
Of. It is not safe. A man trusted in
dve diamonds the other night was
beaten by four knaves, and lost $40
Boston Bulletin.
-Friend-''How about your poem,
Charley; getting on with it?" Charley
20. yes; I expect TO finish it in day
or two" Friend-"That's good; and
to what paper will you send it frst?"-
The Epoch.
Good people die and bad people
live. The man who is fat with health
can't get employment and the man
who is making money hand-over-fist
has to give up business on account of
ill-health. -Erchanqe.
Husband (sadly)-"You are not
what You used to be, Fannie" Wife
(sharply)-"Ofc course I'm not. / used
to be your best girl. but now l am
your wife, and it makes great sight
OF difference. It'd Bits.
II there is any time when woman
realizes her helplessness and depend
ence upon the opposite sex. it is when
she is running for dear life after
street-car with sleepy conductor and
there is no man near by to whistle.
Brooklinc Chronicle.
"A young man in Reading. Pa, is
seriously i'll from lead poisoning con-
tracted from kissing a girls painted
cheek" Serves him right. Any young
man who kisses girl on the cheek
when her lips are to the fore deserves
to be poisoned. and worse. Dakota
Blizzard.
Some one remarked that certain
distinguished lawyer was at daggers
drawn with another leading member of
the profession. .Oh! that's nothing"
was the comment of another; Lawyers
are like blades of a pair Of scissors.
They never cut each other. but woe to
whatever chances to come between
them. Judge.
Lady (entering editors sapctum)
IL should like to find out. sir, some
thing about the condition of the poor
in this town." Editor-'Well. ma'am.
at present we are well supplied with
potatoes and cordwood. but new pair
of trousers or spring overcoat would
be quite acceptable. "-Buriingtos Frss
Press.
-Dumley-.'Do you know any thing
about Grimcsby. Brown? He asked me
to lend him hundred dollars this
morning." Brown laughing uproar-
iously)-''Haw. haw, hawr' Asked you
to lend him a hundred dollars! Well,
we'll! If had Grimesby's vein of hui
NOR wouldn't be in the fish business.
He is funny dog."-M T. Sun.
-Patient-'I wish you would pre-
scribe for me. doctor. l am nervous
and restless and my sleep is disturbed
by nightmares hideous enough for de-
liriWn tremens." Doctor POSSIBLY
your heart is diseased. Do you lie on
the right. side?f Patient = Great
Scott, doctor. thought you knew that
l am running an independent newspa-
per and have to lie on all Sides
Detroit Free Press.
Two qualifications are needed to
make a successful editor. If he has
any thing to say he must be able to say
it clearly, concisely and pointedly. II
he has nothing to say he must be able
to say it neatly, gracefully and effect
lively. We have observed that editors
who are opposed to progressive ideas
are especially gifted in the exercise of
the last mentioned faculty-.probably
from long practice.-M Y. Mnsicd Re-
form.