The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-08-14
BRIGHT BITS.

MISS CASTOR STREEr-Oh, Mr. Jones, you
must let me thank you for the beautiful basket
of flowers you sent me this morning. They
were perfectly lovely!
Family Chorus-Ferfectly lovely
Mr. Jones (blushinz with peasure)-Oh, a
mere tritie. Don't mention it.
johnny on just ought to been here and
heard what sister said when it came.
Sister-Johnny. hold your tongue.
Mr. Jones-Not at all, Johnny; tell me what
she said.
Johnny-She said, why this basket must
have cost several dollars; well, fool and his
money are soon parted
81 WANT you to know" said Mrs. Snapper to
her husband, that facts are stubborn things"
u know it, he answered meekly; woman is
fact. - Boston Courier
EDO you love me- Lena?
Lena think So dream of you every night.
Ed-What is your dream?
Lena-I see you in Tiffany looking at
diamond rings.-Iime.
PAPA (hotly)-I tell you, Esther, you shall not
marry that cad of a Hodgley as long as live.
Esther-Dont worry papa. Selgmund has
often told me he couldn't afford to marry until
your estate is settled. Time.
DEPARTING GUEST TO summer resort landlord
I've paid high prices for everything I've had,
Mr. Squeeseum, and haven't grumbled. Don't
you ever set 'em up
Landlord-Certanly; we make a speciality of
liberaIty. CTo clerk Mr.. Hauton kindly give
this gentleman few of our cIrculars.1ime.
BENEVOLENT STRANGER Ito tramp. who is
earnestly scrutinizing the sidewalkl-You seem
TO be in trouble my friend; have you lost any
thing?
Tramp (pouncing on "tin tag" and sadly
| releasing it)-No, hadn't lost nothin' Wot
troubles me is that nobody else hasn't neither.
BROOKLYN Eagle.
FRwND-How did you pass your civil service
Applicant TO tell the truth, l didn't get q
very good mark don't know, but expect I've
slipped up.
1.-The questions bothered you, didn't they?"
mot bit. 1t was the answers that worried
me. "-Terds Stftings.
REMEMBER, Bridget, said Miss Clara that
/ am out to everybody but Mr. Sampson" A
little later Bridget answered ring at the door.
who was it, Bridget - asked Miss Clara
Young Misther Beaunecamp mum"
And did you say that was out -
'Nis; sed yez were out to Everybody but
Msther Sampson. '-NetU York Sun.
LoNG-HArRED SrRANGER-My friend don't you
believe in that grand old maxim that honesty
| is the best policyy'
Citizen-Well, | didn't use to, sir; but now
that have accumulated snug fortune and
| retired from business, I'm beginning to think
there's something in it. An honest man.
stranger, is very noble work indeed.
YOUNG MAN Ito plain old party)-I take it, sir,
| that you are not a college bred man?
Plain Old Party-Young man, l was put to
work when | was boy.
! college education to succeed in life Then you
don't know anything about colleges?
Plain Old Party-Not much You see, I've
| only endowed four of 'em.-Nelo York Epoch
MRs GoRHAM WARE-I must run, now, dear.
We're going to have dreadful shower | hone
| your dress won't spot. Why did you come out
| to-day without an umbrella?
Miss Korton-Oh, don know; l suppose be-
cause you borrowed it yesterday
Mrs. Gorham Ware-How stupid of me to
| forget This is your umbrella, isn't its Well,
| I'll send it around just as soon as get home
| Puck
CusToMER-How is your brother doing, Isaac
| stein, who went to the oil country a year or SO
| ago?
Mr.. Isaacstein--Ahl poor Abraham, he vas
| blown oop by dynamite dot vas pad.
Customer-You don't tell me. We're his re-
mains found?
| Mr.. Isaacsten (overcome)-My trent, not
more as twenty-five per cent, Choost think of
| dot: only twenty five per cent Dot vas awful.
-NeiC York sun