Morning journal and courier., 1888-12-14
RUmORS.

A rumor of disasters at sea is salt rumor. New Orleans Picayune.
 An honor is without much profit in any country. Orleans Picayune.
 If you should happen to take walk it is not necessary to return it.-Pittsburg Chron- icle.
 A poet who has been fired out of an editors sanctum never laughs in his lsays.-N. Y. Journal.
 A new periodical bears the name of The Tongue. As a rule, there is not much in s name, but this Is enc that is bound to teI.- Harper's Bazaar.
 The latest estimate of Cs1ifornia's wine crop for this year is 100000 gallons, though there are some people who decline to swallow it.-Taunton Gazette:
 Honesty is not always the best policy. But the man who has your umbrella is warm and dry while you are contracting wet feet and pneumonia. Traveller. The Esdin used to speak ;i Tith l1a nose But now each Sunday there he gladly goes;
 The fruit will soon be on the Christmas tree
 Boston Courier
 "When I was in England," remarked Chinner, 'fI saw the crack drum and-ffe corps of the country, led by the Earl of Fife himself. "-From Christmas Number of Life.
 Hear you're going to Arizona, George'"
 "Going for goods"
 "Well-er-not exactly for good; going to open faro bank.
 The rumor that a Kentucky father has disinherited his son because the young man signed the temperance pledge, and intro duced water into the house, lacks conhrma- tion, but 1t sounds plausible snough.-Nor- ristown Herald.
 An unusual opportunity: Ulara-''Why did you introduce that young man to me? A- . ,I.2y Ethel-"Yes. dear; but thought it gave you splendid opportunity to do all the talking. ."-Boston Post. Mir. Fossle Moss (to Mir. Hampton Rhoades, editor of the Newport News)-Oh, my dear MT. Rhoades, don't think Ive seen you l since that nephew of mine went on your l staff. How's he getting ona MT. Hampton Rhoades (grim1y)-He ain't getting on exactly. He's getting of.-Puck. Young Englishman (dininq wish the fami- ly)-You have never been E. England, have you. Bobby.
 Bobby-No, sir, but I think the English must be nice people.
 Young Englishman-And why, Bobby. Bobby-Becauee ma says they make such l excellent servants.-Life. Philosophy of the Street.-The man who pays for beer can always secure daughters for | his jokes. The husband who never quar- relied with his wife is either too good or too weak to live.-Money cannot command | health, but health can command money, if it | is not too lazy to work.--A1l men are brave when out of danger, but, unfortunate | ly, plenty of them dishonest when far removed from emptation.-What bleSs- | ing it is to parents that they cannot appre- ciate what 8 nuisance their children can bss como to other people.-Milwaukee Journal. 1 The Merry Children.-Mrs. Murrayhill-- Celeste, what is Master Harold crying fori Celeste-I happened to say, madame, that lived with little boy who had a hundred and four presents one Christmas. Mrs. Mur- rayhill-Well. Celeste-Why, then he in- sisted upou counting his, and he has been kicking and crying like this ever since be- cause he has only ninety eight. Mrs. Mur- rayhill (soothingly)-There, Harold, dear, you shall have some more if you want them. I should think, Celeste, you could get on peaceably with the little fellow to-day of all days.-Philip H. Weloh, in Life. A maiden had hacking cough 1 Which oft her frame did rack; But she never would her sealskin dofr, For fear her cold might carry her of, | So she took her Hack in-sack. New York Journal.