St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-09-23
EYES AND EARS.

u
"Hop I'll A black plug hat
high in the air, a pair
Doodle Doc" of coat-tails flying with
the wind, shrill voice
shouting "Hop ii doodle doO," and there
you have that unique figure of the Sank
valley-Senator HENRY KELLAR. They
say this excitable, nervous, tiSSue-de-
stroying little man IS worth million.
He owns a bank or two, an electric
plant, field that has developed coal
Groupings and sfanning mill manu-
factory. "Clown" irascible Charley
LlENAU called him lately. ''Vatw
shrieked KELLAR; ''me clown?
Veil, if 1 vas, you vas the jack
ASS vat / ride. Hop ii doodle doo."
Banker BARNUM. of Sank Center, and
friend invented and patented fan
ming mill some years ago. When they
were prepared to put it upon the market,
doubt as to its utility seized their minds,
and they dropped the project. KELLAR
examined the machine, made one just
like it, added patent sieve, secured his
patent letters and flooded the market
with. it. Fortune bobbed up her head,
said the-rosy, smiling face of the ''rose-
bud" from Stearns county (as he de-
lights to call himself), and smiled. The
dollars and cents followed very quickly.
Is
"Old The solving of the
Fifteen" puzzle was
Hens" nothing to the efforts
put forth to discover
the author or authoress Of GA Social
Conspiracy" Everybody and anybody
has been accused at one time and an
other of writing that abominable book.
A certain society lady, famous for her
discernment, picked the volume up, and
before reading it looked. over to her
husband, saying as she did SO: "Now,
JOHN, if | find the expression old hens
in the first ten pages of this book, shall
know who wrote it," She read quietly for
perhaps five minutes and then suddenly
threw the volume across the room, with
the exclamation: There, told you so.
old hens sticking right out before my
eyes. -- wrote the book, as sure
as l am alive" And the worthy woman
will not believe otherwise, although
her faith might be strengthened if ''Oid
CATS should turn up somewhere in the
lurid volume.
M
A 'Now." said OTHELLo
to me, "the ways of a
Woman's woman are not to be
explained. Hush! /
Way. do not mean to offend
your sex; but it is so.
Let go of my ear. There is Mrs. s.,
wife of the lawyer. Well, he was as
overbearing a man as l ever knew be-
fore his marriage, and after, weak as a
lambkin. Why? Well, my dear, Mrs.
S. assumed all of the overbearing-
ness for him. Some time after their
union they were invited to a gov
ernOr's reception, and s., who
had several cases before the supreme
court, told his Juliet that a new
judge of the Minnesota supreme bench
and his wife would be present, and that
he would like to make good impress
sion upon them. The fatal night came
"a la RIvEs), and as the hours waned,
s. presented his wife to the new
justice and lady. Picture to yourself,
dear EYES AND EARS, his horror when
Mrs. S. cOolly turned her back
upon them and walked away, saying,
as she passed lady friend, Il am not
going to recognize that little country
cd RI r
it, Though the Justices wife was one
of the sweetest and SWEETEST little
women at the reception. Chuck full of
blue blood, too. But if l had been
s., g-r-r-r-r-r Chat is the way | would
have gritted my teeth, and madame
would have been maSSacred."
80, ~
Red-H Haired Positively the red
hair of Miss GALE.
Ophelia. who took the part of
Ophelia to B0oTH's
Hamlet, annoyed me. OTHELLo, who
acted shockingly during the play, de-
clared to me that he expected to see a
white horse walk onto the stage at any
moment. l think, though, that none of
US had ever thought of an Ophella who
had red hair. Some way or other, Ophe-
ia's great grief and red hair don't har-
monte. Brown or black would be bet
ter, but the led seemed as inappropri-
ate as the grey locks of BOOTH in Ham
let. Red-haired women, to my knowl-
edge, don't go insane, nor did l ever
meet one that had the mildness and
Oe Crr nNl oil
M
Art L have discovered
what is necessary to
Criticism. make one a full
fledged art critic. The
secret is too good to keep, and then hun
dreds of my sex may in the revelation
find a new road tOfame and pin money.
Thus my informant said to me:
"All you need, dear, is plenty of
'cheek'-'gall,' you know, as the men
call it-and a good memory, and it's
just as easy as dong nothing. Get a
good biography, you know, that gives
sketches of the lives of all the great
masters you know, and lot of art jour
nails and art historical works, and read
'em all through. Just cram on 'em,
and practice on remembering all you
have read. Roll those big Dutch
and Flemish names off as if you
we're the twenty-seventh cousin
of every mortal soul of them and
talk learnedly about perspective, color,
spirit, sky and all the other things that
nobody knows anything about. Then
you trot around to the galleries that
you can get into, and when you see a