Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1888-05-16
DEMOCRATS AND CORKSCREWS.
The eBourbon Editors Welcomed tx
Wichita Today

The Democratic editors Of Kansas
meet in Wichita today. Kansas has
great many more Democratic editors
now than formerly. They have In
creased in multitude five or six hundred
per cent since Cleveland's reign. If
Cleveland should "Rum, Romanism and
Rebellion" again, and this ratio OF IN
crease be kept up, beside the EAGLE
there would probably not be found IN
Kansas four years hence, to exceed
dozen papers whose Republicanlsm
would stand investigation. 1t would be
irving times, indeed. What would be-
come of the soul of John Brown and the
brilliant triumphs recorded by Kansas
in quarter of a century for human lib
erty. would be hard to guess. Person
ally that spirit SO long nourished upon
her sacred sod would go up in flame OF
free trade frenzy mid the groans OF
her unprotected millions. Democ-
racy with its effete doctrines,
blighting dogmas and dominant
bumbledom has found Kansas most
uncongenial climate since the days OF
Jim Buchanan and his butternut cohorts,
who drove their slaves, for brief sea-
son. upon its soil, and all because such
men only as believed that John Brown
died a martyr for human liberty were
chosen to rule in the place OF Washing
ton. But now that one who believes
that John Brown was crank and
felon. runs the machine and distributes
the fat offices to hungry democrats.
Still these Democrats are loud enough
fellows when it come to crying for lib
erty. personal liberty they call 1t.
They mean by that, freedom to drink
something. To hear them talk one
would be led to believe that there was no
liberty to be found outside OF black
bottle. The divine afatus of the Demo
cratic statesman, and the inspiration OF
the Democratic editor must be looked for
under cork only. There too will be
found the Democratic platforms and res
olutions and other buncOmbe with which
they are want to desport themselves on
convention days, Following the manip-
ulation of the cOrkscrew comes the pop
of the old time Democratic fizzle about
sumptuary legislation, free trade and
free whisky.
This leads us up to our welcome and
apology. Most warmly do we welcome
the Democratic editors of once happy
Kansas to Wichita today. And we do
this without apoIogizing for the marked
absence and dearth Of that which must
be uncorked before using. 1t will no
doubt seem to them impossible to say
anything or do anything worthy the
name of Democracy with nothing to
drink, and we expect they will be right
in that conclusion, but Wichita amt that
kind. Her people make it an infieXible
rule to step behind door whenever they
would take drink of soda pop. Our
local Democrats. before attempting to
draw up set of resolutions, are in the
habit of standing around drug store
few minutes, then with a cork held
to their noses break for hall.
But of this style and other sub
terfuges the local Democracy will
instruct our visiting brethren. Save
and except in this particular our honor
ed guests will not find Wichita a dry
town or our people void of the juices
which go to moisten life outside Of the
whisky belt Milk and water, honey and
money flow here unrestrainedly and TO
these you will be welcome, while you
are being convinced by occult evidence
that city can live and flourish in the
entire absence of the fluid SO long held
to be dear prerequisite by Democratic
papers and Democratic platforms. And
while the editor OF the EAGLE hasn't so
much as cork to smell and wouldn't
know a cork screw from veto message
and while he breads the longing gaze of
Democrats laboring under enforced ab-
stinence, yet with his heart full of hope
and his glass turned bottom side up, he
welcomes the unterrified host to his city
and his sanctum.