The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1888-11-22
BILL AND THE BABY,
How Texas Stockman With
Watery Eyes
Watched a Domestic Incident in
a Pullman Car-An Affecting
Story Told In Rarely
Natural Language.

hev allus he'd good opinion Nv the
wimmin folks. L don't look at 'em as
some people do; Nv course they're neces
sity-just as men are. Nv course if there
warn't no wimmin folks there wouldn't be
no men folks-leastwise that's what the
medikil books say. But never WIZ much
on discussin' humin economy; what hev
allus thought an said wuz that wimnin
folks WIZ kind of luxury, nd the best
kind, too. Maybe it's because haint he'd
much to do with 'em that Pm sot on 'em,
Never did get real well acquainted with
more'n three or four Nv 'em in all my life 1;
seemed like it wuz meant that shouldn't
heV 'em round me as most men hev.
Mother died when l was little tyke, an
Ant Mary raised me till wuz big enuff to
make my own livin'. Down here in the
southwest, you can see, most NV the
girls is boys; there amt none
Nv them civilizin' Influences,
folks talk uv-nothing' but flowers md
birds md such as poetry tells about So 1
kind Nv growed up with the curis notion
that. wimmin folks WIZ too good for our
part Nv the country, md hewitt quite got
that notion out'n my head yet.
One time-wall, reckon 'twuz about
four years ago-I got letter frum OIL
Colonel Slbley to come up to Saint Louey
md consult with him bout some stock in
terest we he'd together. Railroad travelin'
wuz no new thing to me. I he'd been
prutty prosperous-had got past hevin' to
ride in caboose md git out at every stop
to punch up the steers. He'd money in
the Hoost'n bank md use to go to Tchicargo
i
shook hands with him, md oncet the city
papers he'd a colume article about my
bein' millionaire-uv course 'twarn't so,
but Teller kind Nv likes that sort Nv
thing, you know.
The mornin' after got that letter frum
Colonel Sibley started for Saint Louey.
took bunk in the Pullman car, like
he'd been dom for six years past, md 1
reckon the other folks must hev thought l
wuz heap Nv man, for every half honr
1 give the niger half dollar to bresh
me off. The car wuz full nv people-rich
people, too, reckon, for they wore good
clo'es md criticised the scenery. Jest
across frum me there WIZ a lady with
big fat baby-the purttiest woman 1 he'd
seen in a month uv Sundays, and the
baby! why, dog-gone my skin, when l
wuzn't payin' money to the niger, darned
if l didn't set there watchin' the big,
fat little cuss like he wuz the only
baby l ever seen. l amt much of a
hand at babies, cause hain't seen any
nv 'em, md when it comes to handlin'
'em-why, that would break me all up,
md like as not 'twould break the baby all
up, too. But it has allus been to my
notion that mex to the wimmin folks
babies WIZ jest about the incest things on
earth. So the more 1 looked at the big,
fat little baby eettin' in its mothers lap
GROSS the way the more l wanted to look;
seemed like wuz hoodooed by the little
tyke, md the first thing 1 knew there wuz
water in my eyes-don't know why it is,
but it allus makes me kind ur slop over to
set md watch baby cooin' and playin' in
its mothers lap.
"Look a. hyar, SAM" says to the Mig
ger, "come hyar md brush me off agin!
Why amt you tendin' to bizns5?"
But it didn't do no good It all; pertend-
in to be cross with the niger might fool |
the other folks in the car, but it didn't fool
me. I wuz dead stuck on that baby-gOl |
durn his pictur! And there the little tyke
set in its mothers lap, doublin' up its
fists md tryin' to swalier 'em, md talkin
like to IFS mother in lingo l couldn't
understan', but which the mother could,
for she talked back to the baby in a
soothin' lingo which 1 couldn't understan'
but which | liked to hear, md she kissed
the baby md stroked its hair, md petted it
like women do.
1t made me mad to hear them other
folks in the car CRITICISM the scenery n
things. A mans in mighty poor bizness,
anyhow, to be lookin' at scenery when
there's woman in sight-a woman and
a baby!
Prutty soon-oh, maybe in an hour or
two the baby began to fret md worrit.
Seemed to me like the little critter wuz
hungry. Known that there wuzn't no
eatin' house this side Nv Bonneville, jest
called the train boy md says to him:
"Hev you got any victuals that will do for
a baby?"
GLOW is oranges md bananas2" says he.
"That ought to do" seq L. "Jist do up
a dozen nv your best oranges md dozen
Nv your best bananas, md take 'em over
to that baby with my oomplerments."
Before he could do il, the lady he'd laid
the baby on one Nv her arms md had
spread shawl over its head md over her
shoulder md all Nv a suddin' the baby
quit worritin' and seemed like he he'd
gone to sleep.
When we got to York crossin' 1 looked
out'n the winder md seen some men car
ryin' long pine box up towards the bag
gage car. Seen their hats off, l knew
there wuz dead body in the box md
couldn't help feelin' sorry for the poor
creeturthat had died in that lonely place
of York crossin', but mought have felt
heap sorrier for the creeters that had to
live there, for I'll allow that York crossin'
is leetle the durndest lonesomest place l
ever seen.
Well, just afore the train started agin
who should come into the car but Bill
Woodson, and he wuz lookin' powerful
tough. Bill herded cattle for me three
winters, but he'd moved away when he
married one nv the waiter girls at Spoon
er's hotel at Hoost'n.
"Hello, Bill" says 1; "what air you totin'
so kind Nv keerful like in your arms
there?"
''Why, I've got the baby" says he, md
az he said it the tears came up into his
eyes.
"Your own baby, Bill?" says 1.
eyes," says he, "Nellie took sick Nv the
ianders a fortnight ago, 'nd-'nd she died,
and I'm takin' her body up to Te1arkany
TO bury. She lived there, you know, md
I'm ooin, tn Ieave the haby there with its