The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1888-05-19
KIDS AND TESTERS.

There's policeman named Halfpen-
ny on the New York force. He's q
copper in spite of it.-Bufalo Ezpress.
1t doesn't take much to puzzle chill
dren. Now one of them wants to
know how the angels get their night
gowns on over their wings. San Fran
cisco Call
The unfairness of the fair-the ladies
who tend at charity bazars. They new
er change any thing but their counte-
nances when you refuse to bug. -Bos-
ton Gazette.
The Kentucky Legislature will pro-
hibt marriages where persons have IA
violent temper" 1t can't be done.
Violent tempers are discovered only af-
ter marriage. Detroit Free Press.
Little johnny (who has discovered q
scar on top of the old gents cranium)
-"Oh. grandpopr' Old well.
childP" Johnny-"Ma sed yer wus
cracked in yer head. and SO yer ia
Neso York World.
DR.. Bigbill-You may thank your
stars, sir. that physicians in these days
don't bleed patients afflicted with your
malady rs they used to-" Patient
I'm not sure that they don't. DOCTOR
Detroit Free Press.
A friend reading over list of names
of women attached to prominent So
ciety, and noting the Lilies and Docies.
ETC.. inquiries why those women should
have their names all fray ed out at the
ends.-Erchaage.
In China the highest recommends
ton man can have is the fact of his
having wife. A man in this country
might have half dozen wives and it
wouldn't recommend him worth
cent. "-Kentucky Stale Journal.
Small boy to his big sister" Edith,
do you know why I think you are like
a cat that has fallen into hogshead
of molassesp" Edlth-"Because I'm
so sweet?" Small boy-"No. because
you're SO stuck up."-DetroH Free
Press.
so you are now editor and propri-
etor of The Boys Champion. Yes.
and making fortune out of it, Il
don't see how that can be. 1t is posi-
lively the worst jim Crow paper ever
saw" Il know it, but each subscriber
gets a toy pistol and twenty yards of
str ng. "-Lincola Journal.
The electric kiss is the latest form of
amusement in the highest circles of the
east The lady aud gentleman shut
fle about on the carpet until they are
charged with electricity. when they
kiss in the dark and make the sparks
fly for the entertainment of the OH
lockers. 1t is said the shock is very
delightful under these circumstances. |
1t is fad that can not have a very
long run, however. After young
lady has practiced it while it will be |
almost imposs. BILE to shock her.-thS- |
cago Times.
New Jersey has the crank of the GEN.
fury, Prohibition crank, to whom q |
monument representing big bottle
with the neck down, should be erected,
even while he yet lives and moves and
has being. He has introduced a Dill
in the Assembly at Trenton to prohibit
any man from growing any crop from
VIII Oh any intoxicants can be made
With such bill as law all the Jersey
apple and peach and cherry trees would
have to be cut down rs cumberers of
The ground. all strawberry plants, all
berry bushes of any description rooted
out all corn and wheat and barley and
rye fields laid waste. The denizens of
The Jersey-l Lightning State would thus
be compelled to resort to the chame-
cons diet and let their dependent
neighbors live on wind as well.-Cus-
,i1l,auti Times