davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-08-09
Civil Service Stories.

A prominent official in the Treasury
Department adds the following mite
to the ever-growing fund OF civil SER
vice information:
alt appears" sententiously observed
the official aforesaid, ''that 'Moike'
McGinnis aspired to aid in the col
lection of the customs revenue of his
adopted country, and he had to IN
dergO the crucial ordeal OF cOmpeti-
tive entrance examination The pa
pers handed in by the ardent repudia-
tor Of 'England's cruel rid are said to
have been unique in many particulars,
but perhaps their greatest charm for
the ingenious apostles of reform was
MOike's answer to the copundrum Who
discovered America, where did he sail
from, and at what point did he land?'
"'Now, why would yez DC askin'
such a foolish QUESTION fur" wrote
Mike, in a large, fat hand. Tt was
Christopher Columbus who discovered
Amerika. He sailed from Cork, an
where the divil else should he land but
at Castle Gyardin, forninst the Bat
thery! Ak me somethin' aisy!
at was doubtless a relative of
Mixes" continued the official, 'who,
being in 'purshute' of an appointment
with that folly which is said to rush in
where angels fear to tread added
Latin, of his own option, to the sub
jects on which he desired to be ex-
amined. He came to the very simple
question:: "Why were the words
"Cave Canem!" often placed in promi-
nent letters in the atria Of Roman
houses, and what did they mean?'
"Cave Canem?' whispered Pat to a
neighboring and good-natured COM
petitor in a stage whisper.
Beware the camel replied the col
lege graduate with sly twinkle in his
eye.
".Beware the cane, av course, the
shtick-the shilalah of Ould Oireland
begorrar wrote down the enthusiastic
candidate, and the amused examiner
smiled blandly under civil service
rules when they found the well-known
adjuration to would-be trespassers
upon old Roman hospitality, Beware
the dog!' as freely translated"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-08-09
The Average Mans Verdict.

l am of average intelligence, average
income, average prejudices. hit the
5atSte n15lieu. What prompts me to buy
a magazine? | approach the question
the more readily because, as the Con-
gregationalist ministers say nowadays,
when they approach the discussion of
the use of ritual, ''my position on
this point is, on the whole, meliorat-
ing one," I buy on impulse.
No doubt the craving for good itera-
ture influences me in the long run, and
no doubt l am Influenced by persistent
advertising in particular purchase;
but neither of these motive counts for
much in swaying my average mind. [
open the magazine on the counter of
some bookstore, or as it alights in
my lap with whirl from the deft
hand of the train-boy. [ take it up be-
cause | have some pleasant associa-
tions with the color of the cover, or
with the name. If in the list of writer's
see some name which awakens in me
"reminiscences of pleasant quarter of
an hour, give my money. IT is a lit
tie matter decides me.
Do not say that [ buy for the sake
Of amusement, and must be guaranteed
beforehand. | enjoy the flavor of deli
cate yiands, but [ am shy of new cooks.
Nor can anybody predict that new
dish will please me.
Therefore, angry writer, blame no
longer the patient editor who rejects
your story, which you are sure l would
like and buy. l am inscrutable. One
can judge of extremes, not of the aver
age man. Consider well that if any
one could predict my ikings, such a
one would not long remain an editor,
nor even publisher. He who could
read novel in manuscript and say,
''The average man will buy this. Print
thirty thousand;" he who could ac-
curately cast the horoscope of a book,
would be possessed of the ''potentiality
of wealth beyond the dreams of ava
rice" He would be daily more valua-
BILE than all writer's, for he could fore
cast the literary future. Such man is
not possible, for he would be able to
predict my action, which is more than
l can do myself. Perhaps his coming
would disturb the intellectual economy
of the world. He will not come.
The other day you told me wrath
fully that an editor told you that he
would readily give Browning five dol
lars line for copy of verses which
he would not print if he were forced
to withhold the poets name at the bot
tom, and were certain that the secret
of the authorship would not leak out.
Blame the editor no longer as ''pur-
blind, and sordid, and commercial"
but recognize that he frankly admits
his human fallibility, and say, Broth
er, too am fallible;" for myself, the
arbiter of literary reputation, I the
average man, say boldly that should
not read the verses unless the name
were appended. -Atlantic.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-08-09
italian Women.

And the Italian ladies? 81 love the
women, too: forgive my follym that
hackneyed old line of BvronSs about
them. / don't love them, for have no
occasion to do so, and I'm deeply sorry
to say / don't admire them, as a rule.
There are exceptions, of course, many
exceptions, and at these races l saw
perhaps half dozen handsome faces,
but the majority had, as Kinglake said,
$50 grossly neglected the primal duty
of looking pretty in this transitory
life'' that, after all | had heard, / was
greatly disappointed. I have no BY
ron handy, but | think he says some
thing about the ''high-born dame" and
her ''brow." 1t is in this last that, in
my poor opinion, minimizes the good
looks of the high-born danes. They
have not followed the French and En-
glish fashion couture, they have not
adopted the coquettish curls or fasci-
mating fringe; they resemble the
"Keepsaken beauties of fifty years ago,
End show acres of bald, un-
covered forehead, looking almost in.
decent and 'yeri shokking." Their
eyes are brilliant, their features mostly
regular and refined, and in youth they
have pretty figures. The late Mr.. Ma
thaniel Hawthorne, whom we all love
so much, and who reviled England
more presistently and more brutally
than most Americans, was good enough
to speak gracefully of English women
of mature age as ''cows." Both Ital-
ian and French women, l think, as q
rule, run larger" than Anglaises of
the same age, and certainly not so
firmly built As for the peasant cheek
of ruddy bronze" byron again), it is
pretty much the same throughout Eu-
rope. The peasant women of Italy
have deep red-bronze compilations and
dirty blue-black hair. The equivalent
of the women with hands that offer
earthly flowers" on the Rhine byron
again) is to be found here in the for
ale, or flower girls.-Ednau7d Yates
Florence Letter.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-08-09
TO be continued.)
Habits of the Ostrich.

it is too bad to say anything against
these magnificent creatures, but their
big eyes and their grinning look reveal
an ugly disposition. They will strike
With their feet and trample whenever
they have a chance. Contrary to my ex-
pectations the Ostriches are very clean
in appearance, and the feathers in their
natural state are beautiful and rich. They
are not packed down close to the body,
but very loose, so that she wind blows
through them, tanning the body and
keeping it co /. This shows more than
anything else that they belong to not
climate. The chicks are plucked at
seven months of age ard the large birds
every six months.
The head, which IS wonderfully small
pared tic the great size of the body, is
very queer, consisting of hardly anything
except two big eyes and wide, deep bill,
splitting the bead back to the neck. The
top of the head is fat and often supken;
there absolutely seems to be no room for
brains. IN authority has plao- the size
Of the brain to he in proportion only of
one TO 1900, while the eagles is one to
100 and the parrots as one to forty-hve.
Notwithstand their brainless heads they
! show an Intelligence that over throws all
laws OF phrenology. When Matching
Il cir young they carefully break the
thick shells OF the eggs, and show the
greatest tenderness and affection for the
chicks.
Although vic:ousIy disposed they beg
for food most winningly. First they toss
their wing about, as if to drive off flies.
| They open their mouths and follow you
along the fences, reaching out their long
nscks. If you wait little to test their
importantly they will sit down and raise
| their wings, sway their bodies, and pound
their head from side to side. Now re-
ward one by throwing him a big orange,
and he quickly gulps it down whole.
While it is retained in the neck, slowly
| working down, he will stretch his mouth
with another, and so on until you can
see four or five punches where the
oranges are working down his neck al
the same time. They drink water in the
| same gulping manner, Selling it in big
mouthfuls like solid substance. Their
chief food is alfalfa, given all the year
around, with corn occasionally, in pro-
portion of pound to each large bird.
This grass is cot fresh and chopped with
a revolving knife. A bushel basketful
daily answers for two birds. It is also
VIC PiiHoiPai ioou uSeu III huo1Iaiio nAu
Africa, but known under different name
VIZ, lucern, which Webster gives as
the only proper name for it in this coun-
| try. This herb of the clover, new only In
the United States, grows very rank, aid,
being green all the year, the ostriohes, by
feeding upon it, thrive amazingly. In
this way they are kept in perfect health,
free from all diseases superinduced by
dry food. Alfalfa, or lucern, is raised
extensively all over California. and is
truly wonderful stuff, for all birds and
beasts revel and grow fat Oh it.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-08-09
Frances Hodgson Burnett's Dogs.

When Mrs. Burnett was child her
family lived in Tennessee. There they
had-as she expressed it-"colonies of
dogs" many of them disreputable
ones, that came and asked to stay, or
stayed without asking-any way to
insinuate themselves into the house
hold. One of these was dubbed
Pepper" because of his touchy, con-
Trajectory disposition, which led to
habits and ways that were sources of
great amusement to the children. He
followed Mrs Burnett's brother home
one day and intimated that he had
come to remain. he pretended to be
a dog who was highly strung and
sensitive, and that these traits had not
been appreciated where he came from,
but the children soon discovered that
his sensitiveness was but temper.
The moment he was reproved for
improper conduct, he went out of the
front door and trotted home to the
other family, who lived about four
miles away. The children would
stand on the piazza to watch him till
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-08-09

trade on the holy Sab'th. 'Tain't nv
style o. doin' business. SUNDAYS for
religious dooties. But I say, if You'll
bring that mare o. yourn round to-
morrer mornin' I'll swap even, and
throw in that old ram o. mine, Iwiu.n
Hafper'S Bazar.
He had Just been introduced to her
on the piazza of the Air View House.
and as they sat looking out on the road
they saw a tallyho roll by and listened
to melancholy English groom footing
merry peal on the horn. ''Do you
coach, Mr.. Selvedge?n she inquired.
Il sometimes handle the ribbons" he
replied, absent-mindedly; anything
else, s?"-Puc5.
Say" said Alpha, s.my son slearn-
ing to play the violin. Come around
this evening and hear him practice. g"
| .'What is he employed at during the
day." asked Omega. He works in a
saw-filing factory" ''Wen, 1 have
another engagement for this evening,
but l will call around at the factory
tomorrow and remain few minutes. !"
-AOTYiSt0lE7l Herald
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-08-09
The Value of Advertising.

Everybody has heard of Frank Millet,
says the Boston Herald. He paints
pictures and writes magazine articles
IN time of peace, but when a war is
''on" he becomes ''war correspond
ent," and is likely to turn up in the
Soudan, the Transvaal, or the Balk-
ans. But there was time when he
was not known. He sent pictures to
exhibitions, to be sure, and good ones
but no one paid any particular atten-
ton to them or said anything about
them. One day he conceived an idea
He painted a picture of a lady in black
sitting on bright red sofa standing
against a vivid yellow background
The effect was just trifle startling
Friends who saw it in process of pro-
ductiOn eXpostulated with him, and
asked him what he was going to do
with it. They were simply astounded
when he announced that he was going
to send it to the exhibition. They
labored with him, but in vain. They
told him that the critics would wipe
the floor with him. They can't do
that without mentioning me-" said
Frank, quietly, "and they've never
even done that yet" To the exhibit
ton the picture went 1t killed every
thing within twenty feet on either side
of it. You couldn't help looking at it.
1t simply knocked you down and held
you there. The critics got into a
towering passion over it. They wrote
whole columns about it. They ex-
hausted the English language in abus-
ing it. They ridiculed the committee
that permitted it to be hung. They
had squibs and gibes aboutit, butevery
time they spoke of it they mentioned
Frank Millet He suddenly became
the best-known artist in town. Some
body, because of the stir that it had
made, bought the picture at q good
price, and removed it to the seclusion
of his own home. When the next ex-
hibition came off Frank had another
picture ready, one of a very different
sort, aud very good, but no better than
others which had been exhibited be-
fore. The critics had much to say
about it, and ''noted with pleasure the
marked improvement" that Mr.. Millet
had made, San evidence" as they
modestly put it, "of the value of criti-
cism, even though severe. to a young
artist" And majority of them never
saw that Frank had simply compelled
their attention by a clever trick.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-08-09
Four Wives in Egypt

Polygamy is in practice everywhere
in Egypt. Four wives are the limit.
When the man becomes tired of one he
casts her off and buys another. The
four favOrites are often seen riding to-
gether on two-wheeled cart, and the
poor cast-off creature, barefooted and
but half-clad, with head uncovered.
walking in the rear to serve theyounger
wives, -Four" say they. "Moham-
med taught US is all that they can love
at one time" The woman has no
choice. The man and the father of
the woman consummate the contract,
and at midnight she is carried to his
"harem," not knowing who it is until
she enters the den, in which every
vestige of womanhood is hopelessly de-
stroyed.
Girls marry at II years of age, but
owing to hereditary formation and the
intensity of the climate are then at
maturity. Boys are educated in the
public schools; girls never. Girls of
ii to 16 years of age are sold to men
from 40 to 80, and sometimes upward.
They think it is their fate. sit was SO
to be-" 1t was always so, they are told.
and seeing the same state of affairs all
about them, they cannot feel their
degradation as would woman in
civilized country. Then husbands can
beat them, and they have no recourse
to law nor pity through mercy. Women
here work in the fields, carry wood,
manure, and water; they chop, grub,
pillow, reap, gather stones for walls,
make brick, etc, and are not much
with the younger children. -iSacrG-
mentO Record.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-08-09
Renented Too Late.

A mob at Pawnee City, Neb., hanged
Fremont Emmons for the murder of
fused to marry Emmons. and he stabbed
her to death. Just before the lynching
the murderer gave his history for the
past two years. He claimed to have
been Christian, tUt he had fallen from
grace. He admonished the young men
to reform from the habit of using strong
drink. He stated that he had been dis
appointed in love. He asked if minis
ter was present and would pray for him,
after which he asked to be allowed 20
pray for himself. In his prayer he asked
God to forgive him for committing the
murder, and that God would forgive all
those who were implicated in Furnishing
him if they were guilty of any sin.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-08-09

he was out of sight. He had long hill
to trot over, and the intolerant scorn
expressed by his tail and little hind
legs, as he logged along. never deign-
ing to east glance behind, showed in
the most scathing manner that, in his
opinion, the family he had turned his
back upon were people of no refine
ment OF sentiment whatever. and could
not be expected to understand the feel
lngs Of dog of real delicacy. He al
ways went away when lectured; and
probably came back when the other
family did not approve of his actions,
because he kept running away and
coming back for a year or two; finally,
however, deciding that the children
were worthiest of his continued
patronage.-St. Nicholas.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-08-09

Keep the pig-sty clean. Provide plen-
ty of fresh straw, and make it impos-
sibls for it to be the most disgusting
place imaginable and a breeder of foul
disease.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-08-09

There is one thing, however, about
woman suffrage which [ am free to
confess / admire much indeed" he said
to lady of that persuasion in conclud.
ing an argument on that important
question. land what is that?n she
asked with evident pleasure. .sThat,
so far, it isn't the law of the land, and
probably never will be. = Washington
Critic.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-08-09
AONH'o CHOICE.
BY MRS. ALEXANDER.

teWhv should I make her heart ache,
thought the kindly woman.
But she was deeply gratifed by the pro
found regret with which Mona bid her
goodbye.
MY only idea Of home is with you, dear
Deb. You shall have letter every week,
and Won must write regularly, too"
50 madame stood smiling to the last, till
the last glimmer of the red light at the
end of the train had vanished, and then
went home, to have it out unrestrainedly
with her sorrow.
Bridgeton pioneer. (Bridgeton, N.J.) 1884-1919, 1888-03-29
NO. 2O87
MORE NEW LAWS.
Gov. Green Affixes his Signi-
nature to the Follywing:

The Governor on Thursday approved
the following bills, and they are now
laws of New Jersey:
House II, legalizes all deeds where
commissioners inadvertently took the
acknowledgements after their terms
had expired.
House o. gives police officers in
charge of station houses power to take
bail where the offence committed is
punishable by fine or imprisonment i'm
posed by Police Justices, Recorders, &c.
House 131, makes it obligatory to
place fire escapes on all public build
ings three stories or more in height.
House 174, gives seaside boroughs
power to increase their corporate
limits.
House 241, prohibits selling or having
Tor sale any obscene, vulgar or inde-
cent papers, books or periodicals. or
any in which are indecent or vulgar
pictures or illustrations, under pen
atty of 500 fine OF two months, i'm
prisonment or both.
House 243, amends the practice in
regard to dover.
House 273, iegalizes the election of
all officers who have been elected in
seaside boroughs.
House 322, provides for an additional
teacher and moral instructor in the
State Prison at a cost not exceeding
$4,000 per year.
House 345. authorizes Land Improve
ment Companies having authority to
purchase and enjoy a ferry or ferries
to sell or transfer their franchise or
franchises of operating such ferries
and the property connected Herewith.
House 1893, gives authority to Com
missioners to purchase toll roads and
toll bridges and make free roads and
bridges of them.
Senate 155, provides that bicycles,
tricycles, ETC., shall be regarded as car
riages and have the same privileges
and undergo the same restrictions;
forbids the enactment of ordinances
prohibiting these machines from enter
ing on public drives, ETC.
- The following bills were fled with
out the Governors approval, having
been passed over his veto:
House 200, authorizes the payment
of 800 to John T. Burton, as Gallery
Keeper, session of 1887.
House 2o3, authorizes the payment
of 800 to Thomas Kircher for services
as Doorkeaper, during the session of
1887.
There were, up to Thursday, 1877
laws filed. On the same day last year
there were only 80 laws approved. In
1886 there were IS, and in 1895, there
! were 50.
Bridgeton pioneer. (Bridgeton, N.J.) 1884-1919, 1888-03-29
Dunham Granted a Respite.

Robert S. Clymer, Esq, counsel for
George McC. Durham, the condemned
murderer, appeared before Governor
Green Monday afternoon and pre-
sented a formal application for re-
spite of the death sentence. TIE re
spite was sought on the ground that
the condemned man might have bet.
ter opportunity to prepare for death.
The Governor decided to grant re,
spite for four weeks, from Thursday
next, the date the execution was to
have taken place, which will bring it to
Thursday, April 90. Mr.. Clymer, ac-
companied by Sheriff Ridgeway, visit
ed Dunham in his prison sell last night,
aud informed him of the Governors
action in respiting him. Durham re-
ceived the information cody, in his
usual manner, but soon frightened up
and seemed more inclined to converse.
Sheriff Ridgeway, before leaving Dun
ham. said: George, trust now you
will sleep better to night than you
have been latoly;n to which he replied
with an attempt to force a SMILEY,
"Well, think will.'
Bridgeton pioneer. (Bridgeton, N.J.) 1884-1919, 1888-03-29
The Town Election Bill.

AS was anticipated, a bill was intro
duced in the Legislature relieving those
townships that failed to hold elections
on account of the storm, from en-
barassment. The bill, which has
passed both Houses, reads as follows:
WHEREAS, By reason of the un.
precedented storm of Monday and
Tuesday, March 18th and 18th 1888,
the town meeting provided by law
to be held on the second Tuesday of
March, in said year, for the election
of township officers was not SO held
in some of the towns and townships
OF this State: now, therefore,
l. Be it enacted, That wherever in
any town or township there has been
failure to hold said town meeting or
election for the year one Thousand
eight hundrsd and eighty eight at the
time provided by law, the same may
be held on the second Tuesday in
April next ensuing, upon like notice
being given thereof as is now provided
by law for holding town meetings for
the election of township officers.
2. That said election shall be held in
all other respects as is now provided
by law for holding said town meetings
for the election of township officers.
Bridgeton pioneer. (Bridgeton, N.J.) 1884-1919, 1888-03-29
They Died From Want.

The deaths of Mrs. Wiegand and Miss
Mary Aaron, two respected women O
Mount Holly, within a few hours OF
each other, has led to the discovery
that both preferred to starve rather
than make known their wants to the
nelghbors, who were, however, perfect
ly willing to help them, and wou. /
have done so before had they known
they were in want.
The three Misses Aaron and their
sister, Mrs. Wiegand, lived together in
acomfortable. looking house on Garden
street. They are daughters of Rev.
Samuel Aaron, now deceased, who 80
years ago was the principal of large
preparatory schools at Norristown,
Pa, and Mount Holly, afterwards be-
coming pastor of the Baptist church
at the latter place. He left one son,
now living in Florida, and four daugh.
tiers, who have resided in Mount Holly.
The latter had exhausted their means
and preferred to suffer the pangs of
hunger rather than make known their
need. Since the deaths. however, the
town people have given the others
every attention, and supplied them
literally with food and fuel