Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1888-01-09


The people of the territory of Dakota
believe in future state.
fast man is very slow when it comes
to paying his debts.
The mother with twin boys knows what
it is to toll from son To son.
An early settler-a man who pays for
his lodging before going to bed.
The price of rubber goods remains firm.
One would think it would be elastic.
They raise vegetable tallow in Austria
lia There's the place to laugh and grow
fat.
All great men are attentive listeners.
Many of them acquire the habit by being
married.
There is one thing that is always in adj
vance of the public demand, and that is
the price of coal.
Getting up with the son is common
practice where there is a teething baby
4 boy in the family.
A married man can always pack a trunk
| lllOIc easily Oll1u o Dt'NhSACA SNsiA' 49, -
his wife to do it for him.
When a man gets to be ''society lead
err you may generally look for him at the
tail end ofevery other procession.
The English language sounds funny to
a foreigner, as when one says, Il will
come by and by to buy bicycle"
4 10 niUbtV
| to 90 over his route. Uranus would be
4 an elegant name for a news messenger.
Didn't the macaroni come from the gro
GERS, Bridget" ''Yes, mum; but Oi sint
it back. Every one of thin stims was
imply"
/ Whats the matter. Pat? Got hurt?'
s.Sure, an 1 turned me ankle last Satur-
dav and it's meeself that's travelled on
three legs ever since
The Thistle is For Sale She will
get no Volunteer to buy her, as when she
was for sail, she let the Volunteer go by
her. Next Folio.
A fertilizer manufacturer has sign
reading ''Those bringing their own bones
to this factory to be ground will be attend
ed to Immediately"
We've got hen that laid two eggs III
one day. boasted a siX-year-old glrl TO
companion That's nothing My papa
has laid a corner stone"
One way to tell whether an egg Is gooo
is TO throw it at an anarchist. 1ou cal
iudge of the quality of the egg by the
quality of the anarchists remarks
Lady Ito clerk: L want to look a
something that would be suitable CHRIST
mas gift for my husband" Clerk: 'Yes
madam; something cheap l suppose
This is the season of the year when men
women and children all stop suddenly II
the headlong rush for wealth, health AM
happiness, and go on the still hunt 10
calendars.
..Js there any difference in the meanln;
of the words nautical and marine :
asked McCorkle of Mrs. Fangle. No,
: was the reply, lone is a cinnamon OF tn
other"
Visitor: .sYour new house is pretty
bnt Won will have trouble to do anythin
with the garden, it is so small" Countr
host: Yes. it is small. but then | sha
put in folding beds
e II shouln't care to marry woman VIII
n knows more than | do" he remarked
L s.Oh, Mr. De Sapp,'' she replied, with
: coouetish shake of her fan, 4 am afrai
l, YOU are confirmed bachelor"
> Mrs. Youngmater-.'Do Do you know, En-
y ily think baby has inherited his father
i hair?" Mr.. Y. (prematurely bald u
glad to hear somebody's inherited it. n
love, for l have often wondered what ha
become of it."
DO WHY is it that a man who would scol
90 to steal an umbrella will, without quail
" of conscience, walk off with the editor
lead pencil and paralyze the power of Il
press for fifteen or twenty sulphuro'
minutes?