davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
rrnrticnl Cn-nnerailnn-

No one who knows anything about coop
GRAFTON in principle and practice disputes the
fact that il pays fresh and interesting
proof of this has just come to me A Young
grocery clerk in q wholesale house found
himself out Of joh some time ago. lie
lived in Harlem, in a neighhOrhuOd tenauted
chiefly by people Of limited means like him
self Knowing the value Of produce he had
often remarked TO his wife on the advance
price charged up town by purvpyors Of the
necessities Of life, and when lie found he had
nothing else TO occupy his thae with lie com.
menced TO buy the family supplies down
town and carry them home in basket a
neighbor in the house suggested that he
should do the marketing for her too. because
she fancied the goods he purchased were bet,
ter than those she got from her grocer and
butcher She paid him the up town price fof
them, 50 that he not only got his own sup
plies at bottom figures, but had the expense
Of bringing them up town more than paid
for.
This suggested an idea 10 him lie made
out price list, charging an advance on Cost
and still less than the local scale. secured the
support of some more neighbnrs and com
menced to market for them daily in wagor
that he hired by the month. In this way h,
got his own food supply FOR nothing Ther
some Of his customers proposed 10 fUrm a
regular association, pay him a salary for do
ing the business and enjoy the benefit of tn,
savings themselves. He readily agreed 4
this, and is now purveyor general to som,
twenty families gets a bigger salary than HI
received through his clerkship and hopes {.
build the society up into a strong co-opera
tive club, with its own store and staff Al
fred Trunble in New York News.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
SHE MARRIED A SCHOLAR.

Oh, she said she'd never marry any Tom and Dick
She'd wed some famous scientist OF learning
and renown;
But her Tom was quite commercial, and OF Agss-
siz and Herschel
clown
So she gave poor Tom the mitten, and rs meek as
any kitten
He went to making money and forgot his wild
Forgot, say; at any rate he hastened to de-
Into sordd business man, trining million
alre.
But she wed scientific, and his tastes were quite
terrific
For various kinds Of insects and for toads and
other game;
And instead Of plaques and pictures, rattlesnakes
and boa constructors
He'd take into his sitting room to ornament the
same
As a Jealous decorator he preferred an alligator
To a statue of Minerva or bust OF Henry Clay;
And you ought to hear him talk awhile OF his
bouncing baby crocodile
That he played with in his psrlor just to while
the time away
And his cobra di capelo, avery charming fellow,
Through his dressing room and bedroom used
to nonchalantly drift;
And an elephants proboscis aud two young rhi
He presented to Ms children as a fitting Christ
mas gift.
But he sold his wife's piano to buy ipecacuanhS
To feed his hippopotsmus to ease his stomach
aches,
And shark ate UP his baby, for You know ho'
hungry they be,
And he went and pawned his overcoat to fee
his rattlesnakes. Yankee Blade.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
A LIz-ToWN HuMoRlsf.

settn rouud the stove last night,
Down at wess' store, was me
And Mart Strimples, Tunk and White
And Doc Bills and two or three
Fellers OF the Mudsock tribe
No use tryin' to describe.
And SAYS Doc, he says, says he,
''Talklu' bout good things 70 eat
Ripe mushnillion's hard to beat"
Ichswed on And Mart he lowed
worte-millon beat the mush.
.'Red, ,,.he says. land juicy-hushi
I'll les leave it TO the crowdM
Then Mudsock chap, says he,
'Punkln's good enough fer me-
Punkin pies, mean" he says.
Them beats 'millionsl What say, Wessf'
Ichawed on Aud Ness says, well,
You les fetch that wife OF mine
All yer wortermilion rine,
And she'll boil Ii down SPELL
In with sorgum, suppose
And what else, Lord only knowsl
But I'm here to tell all hands,
Them p'serves meets my demands"
chawed on. And White, he says.
"well, I'll jes' stand in with Wess
I'm no hogm And Tunk says, II
Guess I'll pastur' out on pie
with the Mudsock boysm says he:
Now what's yourn q ~ says to me.
chswed on--fer-quite spell
Then speaks up. slow and dry,
"Jes' tObacker!N says, l.
And you'd orto' heerd 'em yell!
james whitcomb Riley.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
S. III. Baynard,
FIFTH AND MARKET sTs.

FIFTH AND MARKET sTs.
Hashislarge warerooms chuck full
of Pianosand Organs. Theyare for
sale. 1t will pay you to stop in and
xamine his stock. New goods.
New Management. We mention
few leading makes. First on the
tweplace the standard WEBER
good as gold. Then comes the
HARDMAN remarkable for its
fine tone and finish and splendid
wearing qualities. You must not
pass by the MASON&HAMLlN
their new method of stringing will
strikeyouas radical improvement
in piano making. CHlCKERlNG
is household word. Then for
medium prices we have theai vor-
ite MARSHALL &WENDELL,
STIRLING and others. Pianos
in all styles Of Rosewood, Ebony,
Mahogany and Blister Walnut.
| Cash or instalments.
Is it an ORGAN you are look
ing for? How will an ESTY do?-
king of organs. Following closely
on its heels are the DYER 6
HUGHES and WILCOX &
WHITE, both noted for thei
. volume, sweetness durability anc
artistic design Always on han'
! the popular Eastern Cottage Or
!. gans in every style of case an
g action. Cash or installments.
II Smaller instruments in gree
3 variety. Sheet music and book
'e Pianos, organs, aooordeons, &c
M thoroughly tuned and repaired |
E. P. Potter, with
Is. III. Barnard
- FIFTH AND MARKET SITS.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14

The fruit vender, who had been engaged |
with a customer, now began to regard the |
short mans actions with suspicion.
"How much for grspesr said the latter,
laconically, eating a Delaware.
Forty cents basket"
'iToo much,n said the short man, slowing
away two more Concords.
"Are you wholesaler" inquired the yer-
der.
uNo.n
"own a vineyard, perhaps, and max,
winep
'Non
Where did you learn to eat grapesH
"Over'n Jersey"
''Well. see here old man, reckon you've
eat about pound and you fork over nine
cents, or iii tie that beard Of yourn into
bow knot. and then you caper back 10 Jer-
sey; we don't want no grape insect raysgin'
around here. New York Tribune.
Met His Waterloo.
"JeS' minute, il You please" said man
in western Nebraska ~ he came out OF
house and hailed us as we were going past
| "Did YOU happen to notice the school house
much when you come past it down hers a
mile.'
"Yes, we saw it,"
"School wasn't c,alIed yet, reckonf
NO.
'Was the boys ont havin' ring rastle an
| whoopn' good deal like Injunsf'
| NO; everything was very quiet"
4 "SchoOl house broke up any-winders gone
| or door stove inf'
'Guess notn
"See anything Of the teacherin
'Yes; saw him through the door, sitting
with his feet on the desk reading book"
WAS, heyl Seemed calmln
"He appeared that way.n
''See anything Of a big, raw boned boy,
with long arms an big hands, wearin' high
felt hat painted red, white M bluef'
"Yes; we noticed him."
WANT he walkin round talkin' loud with
his thumb under one gallus an chip on his
shoulder
mo. He was sitting ON the ground near
the school house, with his back Against a tree.
His nose was all bloody, his arms were hang
ing down, and he looked sick His clothes
were about half torn of Of him, and ono OF
the small boys was carrying his striped hat
full Of water TO him from the creek
"Well, I swar if that don't beat me
Didn't holler no slang at you or offer to fight
your
81 don't think he saw us at all--one ey,
was closed up
II experimenting s'prises me now!
reckon the plan didn't work"
What was iti'
wy, that fellers my boy, you see, an Ii,
, lowed to lick the teacher this moTnin' but
reckon from what you say something wen
wrong somewhere, The teacher gave him
longer 'rithmetic lesson than he orter, an
says ! to him, Hop onto the little dooc
, an whale him-jes' show him that you under
| / stand what's the matter o Hammer Bill
, said that he'd do Il an that I'd better see th
other two school officers an git anothe
, teacher somewhere, cause there wouldn't b
, enough O. this un left to wad gun when h
, got done with him. Says he, Pap, don't b
scarf If you notice small pieces Of schoo
teacher fallin' round here long durin' tn
, | forenoonI One eve shet an his nose bloody
, An Bill sIays claimed he was a fighter, too
4 I'll be teetotally chawed if he amt been trot
4 tin in the wrong class for two years. Whe
. he gifts home if don't bring out the old stra
! an larrup him myself then you can shoot me
. A black eye an nose all bloodyi Say, wal
till 490 o'clock an you'll see q big, lazy
double isted fraud Of q boy git pounded a
to pieces by his old fatherr'-Chicag
. ! Tribune
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
He chi Avay ,yIth Too MANY.

A short old man in rather rusty attire,
with long gray beard yellow in streaks and
an armful Of Christmas bundles, wandered
through Fulton market on Thursday after
noon and stopped at a wagon where baskets
Of grapes were displayed for sale.
"Hers you are!n yelled the proprietor,
pointing to open baskets OF fruit; ''the best
Concords, Catawbas and Delawares in the
market for half the price you pay inside"
The small man stepped up, and shifting his
bundles so as to free his turkey arm he med
itatively pulled off a large grape from a
bunch in basket of Concords. Having de
voured that, he tried a Delaware and then q
Catawba, and began on the Concords again,
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
G. w .KENNEDYl &c co
1924 Chestnut street.
The dazelton Piano is taking
well and no mistake,

The public has taken us at our word ant
we must say that we are more than satlsne,
with results SO far. Many have called, We
know, simply to inspect our wareroom, hu
IL they came in with that intent they wen
out with far different one. When they
come again they will buy a HAZELloN
PIANO. with which they seem to be more
than fayorably impressed. There seems to
be very general impression that all the IN
struments we handle are up to the mark
that is, everybody who comes to see US 30
expresses himself.
But while the many have come to look
around and admire our wareroom, there ar,
moro than few who have come to buy, and
buy they did. Our sales 30 far have been
beyond our expectations, and those older in
the business would be surprised if we were
| to tell them what we have already accom-
plished. It's not ovr intention to resort t.
| braggadocio, but we want to let the peoplt
know that We are on deck and that we arr
| IN the business to make money.
| This week HAZELTON GRAND wen
| to the home of one vi Phlladelphia's mos
| noted musicians aud NEWMAN BROS
| ORGAN was purchased by Representative
of one of the best known families in th
city. That's good enough for start, bu
we expect to do better than that right alou
now. We attibute our success to Nv
things: Printers ink and the quality OF IL
instruments we handle.
Continue to come to us and we'll do
well by you as We can.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14

Hostess-My dear Miss Howlor. won't you
sing something for us9 I'm afraid people are
finding things fearfully dull.
Miss Howler-R Really, Mrs Brown, I'm
afraid you must excuse me. I'm awfully
hoarse tonight.
Hostess-0h, my dear, that won't make the
slightest difference. Nobody will listen, for
they'll all begin TO talk directly yon begin to
sing, and just want something TO start the
coIversation.-Boston Beacon
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
A Comfortinr Reflection,

One day Oracle and auntie were speaking
Of an uncle who had died before Oracle was
born. Uncle John loved little children
dearly" said auntie. "If he were alive he
would be very kind to you. He would give
you ever SO many playthings." We'll, never
mind, suntie, il he is dead I shall see him
when get to heaven. We've got him saved
up down in the cemetery, haven't wef"-
Roaton GlOba
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
Wanted 1t Changed.

q Ethel and Maud were taken in by the nurse
for their first glimpse Of littl. baby brother,
whose age was numbered by hours Ethel
did not seem at all pleased, and in answer to
question she replied, with no little disdain:
"No, don't like 1t. wouldn't have such a
red faced baby. II l was mother / would
send it back and change it," She knew that
her mother, when dissatisfied with some pur-
chase, frequently returned it to the store and
exchanged it for something more to her taste
| New York World.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
tn. Artlass Child.

Mamie (6 years old, 20 lady caller)-
Mamma said to ask you to sit down few
moments, and she would beright in. 1t Isn't
raining, is itf'
Lady Csllsr-Why, no, Mamie. Why did
you think il wasp
Mamie-Becsuse, when mamma saw you
coming, she said, ''it never rains but it
pours. n-Texas Siftings
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
9Th. shoemaker to Hi. Ls.t."

A specimen of Katie's faith in the efficacy
Of prayer shows that she believes in faith
with works She and little companion had
got locked into the bathroom, and after long
and fruitless efforts to unlock the door, Katie
proposed prayer for deliverance, which she
Immediately began, but after first directing
her little fellow captive to make, while the
prayer was under way, vigorous and in
dustrious use of screw driver, which they
had got hold Of "The door come wite open,
said Katie. "But why didn't you use the
screw driver and let Mary do the prsyingf'
uCos she can't pray s well S can-and she
can use screw drivers. Hartford Times.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
An Inuuisitivs Youpy.t.r

Bobby Feadingi-Pa, what is the meaning
Of homo genust
Father-Le+ me see lit means that Homer
was a genius.
Bobhy-Well, who was Homerl
Father lirascibly)-Didnt just tell you
that he was a geniusl
Mother coming to the old mans assistance)
Bobby you mustn't bother your father
when he is reading bis paper The Epoch.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
The HnIIdnr Ahsentss.

Johnson-YOur brother is spending his
winter in Florida, believe; health badi
Jackson-He's there for economy; not
health.
Johnsnn--EconOmyi
Jackson-Yes. He calculated that the saw.
ing in coal and Christmas presents would
pay railroad fare both ways and put money
in his pocket II DWELL fitiF-r
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
Inst Hsfor. Chrl.i,nas.

Little Gertrude, fat, grave parsonage OF
two years and half, had given her mother
hug of unusual fervor. Said the latter;
"what makes you love mamma so today
Gertrudei" "Well, mamma, must make
myself ageeable. beatrice tNeb.) Woman's
Journal
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
The Rstnrn Of pI.tr.

You were once member of our church,
! believe"
YES
"Why do you never sttendr
"Oh, ! have a number Of reasons"
"By the way, ! don't lead the choir any
more I've lost my voice comnletelv"
rs that so' Wei, think I'll renew my
attendance at the Church at ono, "-Lincoln
Journal
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
Breakfast Preparations.

Old Man calling down the stairs TO tl,ugh-
ter-Clarat
Daughter-Yes, papst
Old Man-Ask that young man in the
parlor which he prefers for breakfast, milk
rolls or Vienna bread.-New York Sun.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
He couidn,t Afford 1t.

A mother was urging her son to purchase
an overcoat, aud be was insisting that he
could not afford one.
every well, them" said she "You Sill get
pneumonia, see II you don't"
''No," said he. "I won't get that either;
can't afford anything new. New York Sun.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
Enrnnitsn snn,athInr.

Waiter tholding out his hand in IA meaning
sort of wayl-Havent you forgotten some
thing, sirl
Departing Guest (grasping hand and shak-
ing it heartily yl-t;ood-by, good-by.-New
York Sun
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
Ernlainsd.

Doctor feeling patients pulsel--Heu are
suffering, sir, from nervous prostration in a
very aggravated form. Have you been
drinking deeply of latel
Patient (feeblyl-No, sir; I've been Christ
mas shopping with my wite.--The Epoch.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
such . Convenience.

A young lady living up ownreceived a
special delivery letter The messenger handed
her the book to sign for it She took the
book, and instead of writing her signature
she wrote "Dear John: Glad to hear from
you. Cons up Sunday night.nl She had
answered the letter. PHILADELPHIA News h
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
A Rnsina.a Mnnks,

Gentleman twho has given tne organ
grinders monkey a nickell-What's the mat
ter with the monkey. Garipaldii He looks
at that nickel as though ] ought to have
given him dollar"
Garibaldi-He looka to see if goods THE
RnOah
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
A ysssion for hfuaIc.

He ito Miss Breezy, Of Chicago)-Are yoa
fond Of opera, Miss Breezy.
Shs-oh, passionatelyl
He-Do you prefer the Italian sehotli
She-I have never seen any brt the Chit
cage school. That is just splendid New
York Sun IA
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
An Old Acquaintance.

Collector-I have little bill here, sir, that
would like to have.
Man of the World-Yes; please lay it down
in that easy chair, sir.
EASY chairm
Eyes It's been running so long it must be
tired "-Binghamton Republican.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
Grea, Presence Of Mind.

Stranger-oh, yes.
Psssenger-Know exactly what to do, nevs Or
lose your headf'
Stranger-T should say not Why, csn
change ears at Buffalo without getting on
the wrong train.-The Epoch
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
THE LITTLE PEOPLE.
A 5-sear-old Who Wanted to Retain He
Health.

A Dexter 5-yesr-old was put to bed the
other night little earlier than she herself
thought desirable. Soon after she called for
some bread and milk, and got it. After eat
ing a few spoonfuls she looked up to her
father with most unconcerned air and re-
marked: "Papa, believe I've heard you say
it wasn't good plan to retire Immediately
after eating. guess III get up."-Dexter
(Me1 Gazette
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
Not Particular.

Mother ltu little Emma)-What are you
going to do with that eggi
Little Enma-The teacher is going to tell
us the history of Columbus, and asked every
one of Us To bring an egg.
Mothrr-But, my dear, can't spare an
egg.
Little Enua-Oh! that doesn't make any
difference Teacher told us to bring sOms
butter il We had no eggs.-New York Sun
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
IInnr fnr Y.n,,n Man

Who says that then' is not hope for the
young mer of to-dayi " Amherst's ninety
three freshmen hat seva teen smoke tobacco
a tobacco report from he class three Years
from now will lie int, resting New YORK
Sun
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
k.,n,no within the law,

First Thief-Hellc, Bill, sttl biTglarin'i
Second Thief-No, I've found something
safer than that.
"Eh. What yer dom nowf'
"Runnin' a railroad restaurant. Omaha
World
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
Cutting ID short.

Stranger--Is Mr.. Blinks INF
Hotel Clerk-Yes, he's in his room.
Tell him Mr.. Schwifycrwitzenouter-
helm
Front, tell 1876 Il gentleman from Cincin-
a.n.i s..isl...a -un hin, " A..,nha NE.,,.ll
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
tn S,, the Rail A.RoliInv.

Ar.er wash WOODEN goods " blankets on
cloudy day.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
Ioc., 25c., SOC. and Sl.oo.
HOME TESTIMONIALS:

Bn Balm cured me of nvetee cat1 which had for IS 1
Hay few doses Of Brazilian 1% cured me
tedge EdWard tonss
everything could hear
taking Brazilian
iteary ConradI had cat
DIR
bad ceGs H. Redrn Enneer
6 the fourth child
Balm mmd
y.-B Milford Dd
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14

H T
B
E
S
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
Where did you learn to eat grapes''

''Well. see here, old man, reckon you've
eat about pound and YOU fork over nine
cents. or Iii tie that beard Of yourn into a
bow knot, and then you caper back TO Jer-
sey; we don't want no grape insect rayAgin'
n,.l,n,,,.l lnrn - Nm. Nnrl. Irilhilnn
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-01-14
Met His Waterloo.

"JeS' a minute, il You please" said man
in western Nebraska az he came out OF a
house and hailed us as we were going past.
"Did you happen to notice the school house
much when you come past it down here a
OilaI'
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1888-04-13

The Democrat OF last week. an
nouncrs with gravity. that all is peace
in he democratic camp, that Day has
joined tho Church and the smaller fry
have listened 10 TIE cooling of the
democratic dove of peace and here
after the procession will move on.
ward 1.-TWO by two. in single file" un.
der the command of the twin generals,
Church and Day. The spectacle of
this. loving re.niiion will he Il sight for
the gods: oilicellollins mugwump. with
their brass buttons rejecting the rays
of democratic effulgcnc", with their
salaries in their pockets, standing in
line with their arms outstrctched tn
the democratic prodiyals whose bellies
are filed with luskS. Come and he
forgiven. oh, We wanderers! We have
killed the calf and Toasted thereon,
but here is the hide. the horns and the
tail: come eat and he merry" and
when Bro. Wilson takes Bros. Muir
aud Mcmillan in his loving arms and
WeepS-ON. r-r-T-1-t-Sl
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1888-04-13
- - ----------
Communication.

y communication from Il citizen on
the electsOn for bonds is handed i'm too
late to be printed at full length. We
condense from it the following points:
LIST. the charter of the city provides
before bonds can be issued. that %
days notice must he given. and the
only notice given is an advertisement
headed Especial Election" whose first
appearance was on March 30th. only
fourteen days before the election.
2ld, that said notice was not signed
by any body.
3rd. that said advertisement in it
self is not notice of an election.
+th, that in the ordinance to he vot
Ell on. the mayor is given sole pnwe
to sell the bonds and disbursc til,
money, contrary to all principles O
law or right.
5tl,, the money is to be paid for TIN
r. r. right.of-way which is alread
In possession of the u. Il NJ. II. II.
9Th. that no one knows who the com
mittee who have procured The right
ofway is, what they haze done an
what they want To do. or by who's
authority they have acted.
Citizen" conclGdcs by saying tn:
rtiIunSt,- the ,'sirrr'n..p- 81 So: ~
though it may be all right for the cit
to pay it, yet he advises all to vot
"no bonds" until they had had II pull
lie statement in reference to the ma
fer
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1888-04-13

The teachers lnstit@te at Batllgate
opened al PIP. hi. oil Monday a!aI CON
tinued through the week. There
were 10 or more teachers in attend.
mce. Prof pickert WAS the instruct.
or and seems 10 have given excellent
satisfaction. Prof. lngles, of 81 Y',o!n.
rs, Inbh>. of Batllgate and Woods. OF
GRAFTON also assisted. Snpt. Jackson,
us usual MAS around seeing that every
thing went smooth. ana succeeded. as
he always does. in seeing TIA. every
body was made comfortable and ham.
Ply. President Srragur. of the Gram,
Forks University. lcrlurr,l Friday
evening Oh Milton. aa an educator
lrof. Pich"lt l-clirr, on T,:r,,l,v
night Oh Physiology of the heart. and
OH Wednesday evening. Rev. q. II,
Davis, formerly Of Ba.hgutr, but now
at Lisbon, Dak., lectule,i ui. words and
their Uses. These lectures are MI
spoken OF in very high terms by the
teachers in attendance. and the work
OF the institute us Il whole. pronounce
ed al unqualified success. Superin.
teldent Jackson comes home this
week with halo Of honor about his
head and about 800 examination p,.
pcrs in his pocket, and before he gets
through marking up the latter. lie will
query, what gets he most of. salary
honor or hard work!