San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1888-12-14
GOOD FOR A COLD.
ALL SORTS OF ANSWERS TO THE
POPULAR CONUNDRUM.

The OLD Deacon's Remedy-The Popular
Druggists Prescription-various Rene
dies from Various Sources-What the Old
Physician saba Quick Cure.
4 "Hello, old chap, how's the healthg"
First rate. only I've got cold"
Drink rock and rye. That'll fix you up"
Quarter of an hour later met Deacon -,
an old friend Of my fathers. "Got cold,
ehp said the deacon in answer to the usual
inquiry for the health swell, my boy, when
you go home tonight soak your feet in hot
water, drink four or five glasses of hot lemon
ade, roll yourself up in half dozen blankets,
and You will wake up new man." A little
later and another friend declared cod liver
oil and whisky were sure to bring me instant
relief, and still another advised me to go live
in a Turkish bath for a week and have myself
rubbed down every morning with alcohol.
All amateur physicians, but all with a sure
cure. Should | trust them or consult pro
fessional! | had not felt very sick when /
met the first amateur leech, but after talking
with all and being fully posted as to the
danger of letting a cold run | already mag
ined | had one foot over Jordan and was in
need of heroic treatment to get it back again.
But what was the use of paying physicianf
Every druggist is cold doctor. l decided
to go to a drug store, get good remedy, take
it and get well. Being down town on bust
ness | went into popular place. WANT
something for a cold? Well, we have an
elixir that will bring you out all right. 1t is
put up expressly for colds, and is as good a
remedy as has yet been discovered"
How much9"
"One dollar bottle One bottle will be
all you will need"
"Let me have it," said, and soon l was on
my way home with bottle of the elixir in
my pocket. l turned the bottle over and
over on my way up in the car, and examined
it carefully. "How does he know what !
really needl" thought. "He didn't examine
me, and didn't even ask if my cold was in
the throat lungs, head or anywhere else Oh.
| suppose the stuff will cure a cold any
where, even if 1t be cold feet. | guess I'll
just drop in at dozen more drug stores, and
see what will get for the same malady" A
druggist on Broadway was my first stopping
place Oh, yesI he could cure me. A bottle
of Blanks tolu and liniment was purchased,
and | started for the next blue bottled
window.
Druggist S. sold me pills; Druggist NJ.
thought a lozenge of his own manufacture
was what | needed; II. prescribed snuff; c.
thought quinine would cure me, and Drug
gist A. had lozenge he felt confident in rec
ommerding. l got pills, lozenges and liq-
uids in abundance-al sure to wrestle sue
cesSfully with that cold; but the funny thing
about it all was that no two Of the druggists
thought neeped the same medicine. Each
one gave me something different, and when !
got home and ranged my bottles and boxes
upon the mantel piece there was nothing left
to do but to throw dice to decide which rem
edy should soothe me first.
A cold must be peculiar disease, indeed.
Go to 5000 different druggists and you will
get 5000 different medicines, each of which
will cure cold. One is naturally led to the
conclusion that anything that comes out of a
drug store will cure cold. l hesitated
which medicine to tackle, and wound up by
going to sleep without taking either. In the
morning my cold was gone. Nature had re-
lieved me, but had spent good deal of
money on cold curers.
DOING IT FOR JOKE.
had to get my moneys worth out of some
thing, and decided to do it out of practi-
cal joke. Accordingly opened every bot
tie and box, poured out some of the liquids,
threw away half of the lozenges and pills,
tucked myself carefully in bed and dispatched
q messenger post haste for DR.. S. DR.. S.
was but "a short time in answering my call.
was very feeble indeed when he arrived.
Doctor" said, "a month ago | contracted
q bad cold. l took friends advice and tried
rock and rye. The cold got worse. Another
friend prescribed foot baths and hot lemon
ade. 1t did no good. Cod liver oil and
whisky made me worse. Turkish baths only
reduced my flesh. Then / went to the drug
gists-one at time. Each gave me remedy.
| have taken them all There is what is left
on the mantel. Doctor, l am very sick
man. Is there any chances of bringing me
through"
The old physician shook his head sorrow
fully. wait till l examine the stuff you
have taken," he said. "How in - did you
come to make such fool of yourselfT'
III stand the abuse, doctor, if you'll save
my life" answered feebly.
The doctor proceeded to examine the cures.
"Hudnut'S, chi" heard him mutter. "Wild
cherry, iicorice horehound, whisky. Well,
it isn't poison anyway. A. gives you a
lozenge, more icorice than anything else
E<NA.3 snuff. chit HDnzL.& CampboT. cubebs