News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1888-11-29
CARL DUNDER.
His Last Sad Failure in the Field of
Politics.

ssHe vhas no use !" sighed Carl Dun
der, as he entered the Woodbridge
Street Police Station, yesterday, and
dropped into chair.
80 what do you refer9'' queried
Sergt. Bendall.
ITO some politics. [ shan't meier try
to understand him again. | vhas all
busted oop ind broke down"
"How9"
"Vhell, der poys come in my place
two months ago ind say to me: 'Old
mans. go in und bet on Cleaiand. He
vhas der man to get there. He Will
shweep der country.
"Vhell, like to make some money,
und so 1 bet feefty dollar on Cleat1and.
It Wasn't fife days before some pOys
come in my place und yells oudt: Hoo
raw for Harrison He vhas der poy
who knocks EN- all out Say, oldt
mans, if you like to make some money
bet on Harrison. He vhas der teller to
sweep dis country.
"Vhell, pellet dot, ind bet feefty
dollar on Harrison. Pooty soon an
alderman come in my place for glass
of beer, und says: Say, Dunder, don't
you be some fools. Ii you hat some
money oop on C.eaAands take her down
right AWAY. Dot election Will knock
him out like crowbar.'
''Dat scares me like eaferytings, und
[ gift fife dollar to withdraw my bet. 1t
Wasn't fife days pefore anoder alderman
comes in my place to say; Hello! Dun
der, hef you made shachass of your
self2 How? Why, dot Harrison vhas
for der Chinese ind high taxes, und we
shall scoop him high und dry. He shall
meier know who hit him. Let me advise
you, as friendt, not to put any money
on him.
''Vhell, dot scares me again, und 1
gif ten dollar to withdraw my bet on
him."
81 see. Go on"
"VhelI, pooty soon Teller comes
aroundt NIT banner on which yhas
painted, Chapman Headquarters und
he says: Look here, Mister Dunder,
like to gif you pointer. Chapman vhas
sure to get there. Put oop dis banner
und go NIT der swim.
"Vhell, like to go und swim, und
so tell him to uail it oop. 1t looks
pooty nice, but he vhas oop only one
day before Teller comes along NIT a
banner which reads Baker Headquar-
ters-Der Poy for our Votes und no
says: Say, oldt mans, don't get left.
Baker vhas going in by 5000 majorities,
und if you Wasn't n Baker man you
vhas a greenhorn. Put dis oop as
queek as you can
"Vhell, I put him oop, ind Baker
vhas left out in der cold, SO vhas l"
cit is sad," sighed the sergeant.
''You bet NIT mo it vhas. A Teller
comes in my place und looks all arouudt
und whispers: Say, Dunder, if you like
to make money bet on Mr.. Youngblood.
He goes i'll by 5000 ahead of Littleteld;
l vhas inside, und know
"VhelI, i make n bet of fecfty dollar,
but poorly soon Teller comes i'll, calls
me into q corner, und says: Mister
Dunder, you vhas all right nit der poys,
und like to see you ahead. Bet to L
on Littlefield Dot Was straight Dot
scares me so can't sleep nights
"You lost your tifty?"
"Of course I lose on more ash ten
men, but vhas to blame? Was some
greenhorns to bet? Here comes Il man
who says dot Gov. Burt vhas shust SO
shure as next winter, und he likes to gif
me q pointer. Next comes man who
says lie Will bet his lung dot Luce runs
vhay ahead, und he likes to gif me g
chance to scoop der poys. How vhas l
to tell!"
''You can't"
''Und so lose more as two hoonered
dollar, und vhas all broke oop."
YOU'D better let politics alone after
this
Sergeant, see me in der left eye? If
hat some more to do nit politics i'll dis
country | like to be sent to der crazy
house Next time / don't vote for no
pody, und if somepody comes to gift me
some pointers L break him in two so
queek he can't holler vhas all mixed
oop. Eaferypody vhas elected-eafery-
pody runs vhay eaferypody vhas
sure, und nopoay comes out ilezhe-
oxpects-nopody but me, ind I vhas