The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1888-11-16
AN EDITORS woorne.
The Condition ON which CaIists Beslsnl,
Accepted Mr.. Ciueston.

6tESPso0 AAH@ 1Au&1NOhs
"Calista Bellamy, my happiness :.
in your handsi'
Mortimer Clugston, who utter
these words, was the editor and pro
prietor of the Doodleville Yeiper. h.
had pleaded his suit with an earnest
ness that had broken a collar-butto'
and nearly loosened a front tooth, anG
as he stood awaiting the young lady
answer he could distinctly feel the in
terest growing on the note of 1868
due in one month, which he owed to
the accommodating gentlemen in Chit
eago who kindly furnished his paper
| for him.
Gathering courage from her silence
he broke out again:
'.Calista. your manner leads me 10
hope. May promise myself that you
will fill the chasm In my life that-er
-yawns for you? A bright future may
be yours. Calista- With you by my
side as an assistant in an editorial
career. as proof-reader, as a helper
in folding papers Thursday afternoon.
making up mails. doing up single
wrappers and looking after the ac-
/ EtHut1 VI StlDcCf4Ocfrs a
could make the Yetper even a greater
power in the land than if is now"
..Mr. Clugstou." said Miss Bellamy,
.'may ] ask you what the circulation of
the Teiper is?"
About a thousand. Miss Calisfa-"
Il am not the press agent of a circu.
and menagerie, Mr.. Clugston, replied
the young lady. Il am not getting up
| a newspaper directory, nor trying TO
make contract with you for adTertis-
ing patent clothe5-wringer. You can
afford to tell me the truth
'.Of course / only mean 900 IN
round numbers. Ny actual circulation
is $50. but 1t is growing every day.
Miss Calista- / work of three quires
more than the Jasper Herald of .fmerS-
can Liberty does. and he claims 1.60o.
In less than a year you and / could
make even the circulation Of Dee
Reeves Pinhook Jigger look mighty
sick"
Excuse the question, Mr.. Cluzston,
but have you a paying advertising
patronage?"
advertising? There hasn't been
an issue of the Telper for three years
that has had less than $3.50 worth OF
pay locals for emulsions Of cod liver oil
inserted next 10 pure reading matter
| on the editorial page. / have a trunk
full of due-bills from sewing-Inachine
companies, organ manufacturers and
/ proprietors OF patent wind-miils 10 ap-
| ply on the purchase of those articles
when | want to buy them; and ont in
my coalshed | have patent medicine
| enough. paid for in advertising. to Kill
regiment OF Bengal tigers. ! always
travel ON railroad pass. good any
where between Saluda and Harker's
| Corners 1 never get less than seven
complimentary tickets whenever a cir
Gus and menagerie comes to Doodle
vile, and every wedding in the neigh
borhood brings me in box of assorted
scraps OF cake. / tell you. Miss
Calista. the Yelper is humping itseu
along in more ways than advertising
Some of my editorials have been copied
into the Brimfield 7onahatrk and
Eureka IhHaderboH. and pronounced
the ablest articles on ciinchbugs II
corn and the moral influence of woman
/ III PoAANA1G 1tANhN AANANC 9s7NAA ~ AAtANsA II
any of the papers for miles around
and / have been prominently men
toned as candidate for the positio
| of delegate to the district lodge o
Good Templars-
IL am not insensible to the distinc
| ton you offer to confer on me. NJ
Clugston,n said the young lady. softly
IL will be your wife on condition tina
| it shall not be a part of my duty
wash the Office towel"
Wash the Office towel, Calista.
exclaimed Mortimer Clugstone, as HI
hair rose straight up on end in =
paroxysm of amazement, ''we nevel
| wash it. so help me Benjamin Frank
| linl When it isn't in use for breaking
kindlings or propping up a window i
| always stands behind the door g
| Calistal Are you mine at last?"
The neighborhood cats walled dsliri-
J ously their touching notes of despair
ing love and defiant hate, the pensiyt
frogs in the adjacent pond discoursoe
| monotonousIy in Volapuk. the belateG
Bellamy cow bawled loudly her pur-
pose to stand at the gate of the ba n
yard and blaspheme until spmebody
came to let her in, and upon the ea'
of the mild-looking old lady who was
listening at the keyhole of the BellamS
| parlor there smote sound like unto
| that which is made by a retiree
squash colliding forcibly with the side
of brick house. Chicago Tribune.