Morning journal and courier., 1888-04-26
MOST.

Brown-Does your wife keep her temper very we'll? Jones-Um-Um-e some, but get the most of'it.-Washington of Critic. First spirit-Why dost walk the street, brother? Vert thou a patrolmans Second spirit-No, fraternal shade. They are cleaning house in the place of my habita- l tion.-Detroit Free Press. Emile Zola is said to be writing "Roman l Chaste." Whether the book is to be a biog- graphy of Appius Claudius or Marius the ru- l nor does not say. These two gentlemen were chased farther than any other Romans l in history.-Puck.
 Theatrical manager - Why, sir, this | play won't go at all. Every character in the piece is killed in the first act. That's ab- l surd
 Playwright-No, it isn't. You don't know l what actors I've got in mind for the parts 1 Judge.
 Washington hotel clerk (to guest from New Jersey)-"Will you want a room with | bath connected, sir?" New Jersey guest
 -'N-no, reckon not. I won't be in town more'n 8 couple O weeks, an' besides took
 bath only few days fore I left home. l Epoch.
 1 Physieian-sHow is your husband this
 morning, madam?" Madam-"Very low, doctor" Physician-tIs he conscious at allal
 Madsm-"No; he keeps repeating, prom 1 ise,' never marry 'my sake,' and other | meaningless jargon. He is evidently wander l ing in his mind. Epoch. 1 ssJohn," said the minister to the sexton, 1 "that pulpit cushion is worn out. I wish 1 you would see that new cover is put on it. ' | wore out an it's the third since last fall. It ain't my place to make remarks, sir, but in my opinion there's such thing as carryin' 1 religion leetle too far."-Puck. | Rufianly thief-"Hand over your watch | and be quick about iti" Victim-"You in
 fernal robber, I'll wiring your neckl" Ruff. l fanly thief-"Pm no robber. Victim 'Pm agent for the Universal Watch Trust. ,
 ''Vietim-"Oh, I beg your pardon Take | the watch. Is there anything to pay in ad- | dition?'-Puck.
 l ttMr. Darringer, that is Srather 8 tough l chicken. Do you intend to carve it2'
 Certainly, my love-"
 "Then won't you please carve it before you
 say grace. ,.., . .,. . marked Needy, the poet, as he entered the | elegant boudoir of Midas, the editor. Cant l you help me outs'
 "Helps" cried Midas, laying down his pig | pen, for he wrought on Chicago paper.
 s'I'll fire you outl"-P. S. Which he did, | Burdette.
 | 4 negro who walked along fhe street was
 followed by dog that was not much larger l than rat. Pretty soon an immense dog
 trotted up and seized the little dog in his | mouth and started off with him.
 fHol' on dar, you blame scouRdrel, ,'
 shouted the negro. ''Hor on dar. Wy l Burning to several men that stood near) eff
 dat want de mos ungenerman ac' neber seed, Come long yare an grab up CT mans dog an squeeze him till his eyes popen his l head"
 | "Why don't you go after nina" | .'Whut's de use n goin' after him ween
 he dun cir gone outen sight9 Huh, dat do beat any trick I eber seed. Grab up CT
 mans dog an' run erway wid him No way 1 fer CT big dog ter ack in CT town like dis. 1 Preachers come round talkin' dat de worp is gittin' more cibilized ever day. Da's tellin' | whut ain't CT faek wen day say it. Come | runnin' 'way wid CT mans dog like thisi'- Arkansaw Traveller.