The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1888-03-18

man who would get up in the Senate
! abuse the living and the dead and in
dulge in vltuperatioD concerning any
one who came within the dragnet of his
copious mind was certainly seeking
some level-and the natural conclu-
sion is that
THE LEVEL Is lis OWN.
Mr.. ingalls, therefore steps down from
the position which a careful repression
of his inherent tendencies had enabled
him to attain, and resume his place on
much lower level, al! OF which is in
keeping with his getting out OF the
chair Of the presiding officer of the
Senate to deal Unfortunately in
unbounded abuse and in state
inents which were shortly after
wards proved by Senator BLACK
burn to have no truth IN them. Mr..
Ingalls, fnds no approbatory response
to his TRADE from any quarter. Even
the Grand Army men whom he wished
especially to catch do not put their
mouths to the hook. All that be has
done has been to prove that he has
tongue like Islander, (which outVenoms
all the worms of Nile" In inverse
ratio with the condemnation that is
visited upon Mr.. ingalls, is the praise
afforded TO the short, sensible, and in
soma places eloquent reply OF Senator
Blackburn, of Kentucky. 1t was bad
day for Mr.. ingalls, repute when he
made that speech.
MRS. INGALLS,,
the wife of the President pro tempore of
the Senate, and who, by the way, seems
to be Mrs. Logan's successor as the
patroness of all the social events of the
Grand Army of the Republic IN this
city, was the leading spirit of very
elaborate and attractive fair which
that organization held last week in the
armory of the Washington Light In
fanrry. Among the many devices
which were used at the fair to lure the
money from the pocket was very in
genious one. Upon the walls of the
armory, so as to be accessible to all, were
small limitations of weighing scales. In
stead, however. of dropping a nickel
in the slots of these devices and getting
weighed, the one who desired to mon
key with them projected cent into the
slot, and small drawer spraGg open.
In that drawer was a wad of gum SUI
fcient to make two good chews. The
scheme worked admirably and much
money was realized. Old men and
women who had not mastiCated the
Sc uctive gum for fifty years, depos-
tied their pennies, worked their anc eut
jaws, and thought of their youth. A
I scarcity OF teeth On their part caused
some of them to
I LITERALLY ''GUM IT."
bat they liked it. Young men and
young women, boys and girls,
middle-aged men and women, yea
the toddhag kid invested pennies
and got gum. Having procured
the gum, they chewed. Eve yoody
worked their jaws. 70 see them at il,
one would have thought at first that
they partook OF the nature
Of the rumInant COW, aud were
! engaged in the bovine's customary
pastime of chewing the cud. None OF
this bothered Mrs. IUgalls. In fact,
she rather liked it, although she par
took not of the gum. But she reflected
that the more gum that was cbewed,
the more money would be realized by
the fair. Now, scientists say that no
habit, except that of gaping, is more
contagious than that of chewing gum,
and Mrs. ingalls, discovered with
charge of the different booths
and stands had caught the infection.
| They went at it with an abandon that
was not only cheerful to behold, but
calculated to interfere with business.
Indeed, many young ladies
LOST IMPORTANT SALES,
because their pretty mouths were so
pIastered up with gum that they could
rot communicate with would-be GUS
toners. And then, wads of gum were
found pasted on show cases, bric-a-
b-ec and other articles, some Of them
articles OF rertu, by the way. They
had been stuck there by economic
maidens, who did not want to take them
uome but desired to renew operations
upon them the following night,
which they did as soon as
the following night came. Things
were IN this shape when Mrs. ingalls,
began to protest. But it did no good,
and that very night she took home
with her, on the back of her black silk
dress O very generous wad OF gum
which she had accumulated while
leaning back in Louis Quatorze chair,
the price OF which was S35. She knew
as soon as she found what she had &C
cumuIated, that the time for action had
come. She issued general order that
no young lady connected with the fair
should chew gum. But that order came
very near
PEECIPITATING MUTINY,
led by two determined young women
who were graduates from Vassar last