Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1888-08-17
Little Men Are Good Natured.

$ssI have theory said Counselor Abe
funnel to reporter, (which is not founded
On anything that I ever read or anything
That ever heard anybody say. 1t is~ses5.
tirely original with me, though 1T = ouite
possible a good many other people may have
entertained the idea before. y
'sProduce your theory, phase, and end thi.
terrible suspense
"The theory is concerning little men and
women. I believe that people of small
Stature are far better natured than those of
average size. Did you ever see small mar
who wasn't good humored and inclined tc
take rosy view of 1ifea And did you ever
know a little woman who wasn't jolly and
full of fun? I've studied humanity gooo
deal and I never yet have encountered 6
small person who was surly or misanthropic
Who are the pessimistsa Lank, tall, raw
boned, dyspeptic individuals almost in.
variably. Did you ever see man five feet
six inches that was melancholy? No, anG
you are not likely to. I tell you the world
would be a mighty lonesome place without
the little grown up people. They make more
than half the fun there is in this vale Of
tears.
''Little men are invariably good story tell
ers They are hearty laughers; they art
quick to see the humorous side Of any ques
tion and they relish a joke even if it is al
their own expense. They make the firmest
friends and adhere to those whom they like
through thick and thin. They are seldom
quarreJsome, and never conceited. They are
often sensitive, but quick witted people gen
orally are. Altogether they are the besi
folks in the world to get along pleasantly
with, whether in business or social way"
"Admitting that what you say is correct
how do you account for it9"
"Don't account for it at all, yet know il
IS true, because my observation and expert.
Rnce have taught me so.n-New Yorl
Graphic.
Woman Can Be Ingenious.
Who was 1t said that no woman ever IN
vented anythings 1t was untrue, anyhow
"a woman can be ingenious when it seems tx
her worth while. A device for increasing
fhe business Of barroom Is a bright silver
dollar glued fast to the floor in front of thu
bar. A man comes in to order drink. dis
covers the coin, desires to pick it up and
pocket it without being seen, and to that end
gives to the bartender bill in payment fol-
his beverage, so that he may have time, when
THAT person turns his back to make change
to pick up the dollar from the floor. But The
bartender manages to shorten the oppor
Eunity so much that the man cannot stoor
quick enough to touch the prize Sohe ORDER
another drink and tries again. Perhaps he
spends three or four times as much as he In.
tended to before be is able to touch the dol
par, and to find out that he cannot detach Il
from the board. Then he either sneaks out
quietly or laughs over the trick, and In
either case the extra patronage has been
gained for the saloon, while the dollar re.
mains safe for further service. But what
was 1T that Bowery woman did when her
husband told of the tricka She provided
herself with sharp edged tack puller, and
made round Of all the groggeries in her
heighborhood where the dollar dodge was
being worked. She bought one glass Of beer
In each place, neatly pried up the coin while
fhe barkeeper was making change, and went
pp to repeat it.-New York Sun.