davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-01-05
How Well Marry BY and BY.

Marriage is getting to be II farce
and divorce a playthng,' announced
Rabbi Henry Iliowizi in his paper be-
fore the liberal m n stcrs yesterday. 1T
is this state of things that caused
witty lawyer to prepare new formula:
"'Mr. Smith. he would have the
officiating party say to IL would-be
bridegroom, is it your firm purpose
to make this pleasant lady your wife
until you meet one more PLEASANT
est is.
Miss Jones. you have made up
your mind to be the wife of Mr.. Smith
until you lose your temper and tire OF
himP'
Yes
Then l pronounce you man and
wife-until some court shall part
you. '"-Minneapolis Journal.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-01-05
The Sort of Pearl She Was,

At Graceville, Mimi, the other day,
one OF the boys, who always uses three
lines and half to register his name.
was anxious to find out the name Of
new waitress who had been employed
ut the house since he was there before.
She came up to the table to get his
order and. leaning over. he said:
"What shall we call youP"
Pearl. sir" was the modest reply.
care you the pearl of great price P"
he ventured.
mo, sir" was the quick rejoinder.
IL am one of the pemls cast before
swinc."
His nobs finished his dinner in silence
and overlooked dessert entirely.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-01-05
DETROIT MARKETS

WnEAT.-No. 2 red spot, % cars at S0IIc.,
3 cars at $500 closing with S'$Gc bid for
Michigan; January, 1900 bu at sc, closing
with 81 &c bid: February, S7L C bid, offered
at SSc; May, 1000 bu at 9l$sc, 10000 at &c,
5000 bu at 912Sc, $4,000 bu at 81 C, 10000 bu
at 9175c, $1,000 bu at 9lS4c, 10 600 bu at 81 &c,
%, 900 bu at vac, 10000 bu at we, "a, 900 bu
at 90 &c, 10000 bu at 92lic; rejected, offered
at &c; No white spot s cars at S6J9c, =
cars at SIC, car at size, closing withS7 C
bid; May, 10000 bu at y3c, closing with
931%c bid.
CoRN.-No spot was called nominal at
SIC early in the day, and later at 551[c;
December, 10000 at 55I9c; No 3spot, Gears
at 53c; No spot, car at 521Sc.
OATs.-No 2 white spot, l car at $3.50;
No spot 3415c bid.
CLOVER SEED.-Prime spot, SO bags at
S4. 10; January, 80 bags ut 4.l5: February,
100 bags at S1.2216; No spot, ~ bags at
$3.50.
BARLEY.-State barley is firm at the fol
lowing prices: No 9, Sl50; No 3, S1.3O@
$I.40 per cwt.
FIoUR.-The -four market is quiet and
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-01-05

A Nashville undertaken complied with the
lying request of woman who was recently
oured IN that city by interring her new bonnet
with her body.
A centcnaran has been found IN Monmouth
county, New Jersey, who was never twenty
niles away from his birthplace, and who never
saw a steamboat or railroad.
Petroleum is being found In increasing
quantities all over the islands of the Dutch
East Indies, particularly In Sumatra and Java.
Rich wells have been discovered In eastern
lava.
Electric wires can not be placed under
ground In New Orleans because the water level
S only three feet below the surface Strong
overs $50 feet high are to be erected on which
10 place them.
A party OF scientists are boring In tho soil OF
Inc Nile delta In search OF rock. A depth OF
}0S feet has been reached, but no rock was
found. The everything soil to depth Of one
hundred feet ia sand.
The Zulu and Philippians OF south Africa are
70 have a taste OF Salvation army religion, Gen.
Booth having ordered squad OF his soldiers
TO settle in that country. The army has al
ready invaded Jerusalem.
Beef cattle ut Tucson, Arizona, are cheap
and In big dcmrnd, being bought up by San
Franc SEQ dealers. The cattle arc In splendid
condition. Stockmcn are realizing 4 and 5
cents per pound, on foot, at the railroad
depot
The government Of New South Wales offers
a reward of sl25. 900 to any person who will
make known and demonstrate at his own cx-
pcnsc any method or process not previously
known IN the colony for the effectusl cxter-
mihaton Of rabbits.
Although great quantities Of peanuts are
yearly shipped to Antwerp, bat few arc eaten
by the Dutch. The nut is submitted to n
treatment by which its oil Is extracted, and
The oil Is used for various purposes. The
supply Is imported from Africa.
Claus Sprecklcs' evident determination to
push the bcst-sugar Industry Is alarming the
ugar planters of the Hawaiian islands, and
lrcady the are talking about giving up
.ugar-canc planting aud substituting coffee
- the staple product OF the islands
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-01-05
About a Brakeman.

A low uayS nnO i was returning
home and had taken my seat in train
on one of the Western roads. We
were soon bowling mcrrily along. and,
as usual. 1 was on the lookout for the
fiend. Presently he appeared. His
first act struck me as unusual. He
closed the door before shouting. The
effect of til would be to shut out the
whirring, rushing noise of the wheels
rolling over the rails and thus made
his utterance more intelligible. did
not understand why railroad brake
man should wish to do that.
After closing the door he advanced
to the centre of the car. stopped. clear
ed his throat. and in deliberate. clear.
resonant voice. whose distinct tones
penetrated to every part of the car. he
cried
"Dun-kirk, Dun-kirk! Passengers-for-
the New York Lake Erie and
Western-road- change -ca s--Dun-k kirk
AS he commenced the sentence it was
curious to observe the expressions on
the faces of the ngHrs-surprise.
wonder, and Incredibly; us he proceed
ed these expressions deepened. and
when he had reached the end and turn
ed to leave the car, a general hum OF
conversation ensued, in which could DO
heard such comments as: ''Well,
never!' ''0h. what an elegant brake
man ~ Didn't he saw that beautiful
ly p' "He's q perfect jewel ~ An old
farmer nudged him and said club,
heard every word you said; here. have
an apple "
The brakeman took the apple
A commercial traveller on the other
side of the aisle handed him cigar,
saying: You are the first one of the
kind ever met. There's very fine
HAVANA; smoke it after supper"
A middle-aged lady told him to wait
n minute. and. opening her reticule,
she took out n handsomely bound vol
ume of Tennyson's poems, and said she
hoped he would accept it us gift from
an admirer.
AS the brakeman thanked her no
moved toward the door. II portly old
gentleman touched him on the arm
and sa d.:
what is your name, sir p''
George Plainly" said the brake
man.
"Well. Mr.. Plainly" said the old
gentleman, 81 am happy to know you.
Bertha, this is Mr.. Plainly. Mr.. Plainly.
my daughter. Miss Bertha Species"
and. us the lady smiled bewitchingly
upon him, the old gentleman continued.
Here is my card. sir; and if you are
ever in New York. l hope you will
make my house your home while you
remain in the city. You will be treated
as one of the family. Now. mind. sir
and do me the honor to visit us.
The brakeman passed out, and the
passengers settled themselves in their
seats and talked about him. At each
station tho experience was repeated,
and when we had finally reached our
destination, all of the passengers had
made themselves known TO the brake
man. He had his pockets full of the
choicest C gars. dozen books and mag
azines, and one old granger give him Il
cork screw. We all shook his hand at
parting, and wished him continued sue
cess in his noble work. Altogether, it
was a strange experience, and the
pleasant memory of it will lngcr with
me always Morris Waite Ia PlcS.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-01-05
Regarding Cheese.

Countryman Ito bride, in restaurant)
How do you like the cheese. MirandyP
Bride Crying to eat Schwcitzer-
kase)-I don't like it at all, John. In
tho furst place it don't smell right an
the second place it's all full o. knot
holes. - The Epoch.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-01-05
Stick to Coffee.

The consumption of coffee in Bag
land is on the decrease. A bad sign.
1t means more beer. The coffee drink.
ing nations are temperate Aiass~
Constellation.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-01-05
Died I'm the Poor House.

M. ID. Babcock, inventor of the fire ex-
tnguisher bearing his name, died in the
alms-house in San Francisco Christmas
day, aged 20 years. At one time he re-
ceived $40, 900 month royalty on his ma
chimes, but he sold the patent, sQuandered
the money and died pauper.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-01-05
Self Deceived.

Many men claim to be FIRM in thei,
principles when really they are only
obstinate in their prejudicos. - x
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-01-05
LIVE STOCK.

LIVE STOCK.
CATTLE Market stronger; good to
choice steers, S30o5; stockers and feeders,
50 2O(93 40; cows, bulls and mixed, 81 400
SO; Texas cattle, 81 60C93 %.
Hoas--Market dull; good heavy, &c
higher; mixed, So 05Co5 40; heavy IS 300
SIS 15; light 81 S5065 20; skips, 50 $500
4 GO.
SnEEp-Marlet stronger; natives, 500
S. 25; western S4C0i 90; Texans, 81 500
SO 20; lambs "a 75(05 80.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1888-01-24
DAUGHTERS OF EVE.

The empress of Austria is advised to spend
the winter in Egypt on account Of rheumatic
troubles
Scarqia and Justinian are the names of
Sarah Bernharlt's two lions, which she lets
loose occasionally. One of Sarahs friends
always brings his revolver with him when be
calls
Two New Orleans young ladies who find it
necessary to work for living have opened a
dairy and sell milk They have a little cart.
and every morning may he seen driving be
hind their bright tin cans and pals
The preparation Of the trousseau of the fr1-
ture empress Of China Is under full healwav.
although the welding will not be until I5sg
Thousands Of hands are now busy. and it will
be the greatest trousseap ever made. The hats
are particularly numerous.
Sarah Bernhardt proposes to be the creates
mother-in-law on record Il shall put into
the part all my heart, all nay art says she.
Her presents to the daughter-in-aw began
with diamond necklace for GO 700 francs
and ran all the way down to a fur boa
Jenny Lind was rather sensitive on the
subject Of her rivals. She attended, on one
occasion, garden party given by Lady Bur
dett-Coutts. In the course OF conversation a
gentleman, speaking Of Christine Nilsson,
called her the Swedish Nightingale In.
stantly there sprung up from seat close BY
an aged, thin woman, who pointed her finger
at the speaker and exclaimed, in a voice quiv-
ering with rage, You are wrong, sir, gross
~ wrong; am the Swedish Nightingale I
am Jenny Lind"
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1888-01-24
RELIGIOUS GLEANlNGS.

There are $50 Baptist commandments in
New hampshire
The Mccormick Theological seminary at
Chicago has III students.
There are Young Mems Christian associa-
toals at Jerusalem. Eeyrout, Damascus, Jalfa
and Nazareth.
Ash Wednesday comes ami Lent begins ON
Feb. 10 tins year, Nhrove Tuesday thus fail
luz on ST. Valentine, day.
Since the Methodist board OF church extern
sion, north, began lis work iii the year 1853,
it has helped to build 5,N,lj cTiurchr, 1t has
collected and dishurseoi nearly y.i,tV1,0o1
The Protestant Eps,opa church Of the
United States reports for 1850, a total of
435, 80 COMMITMENTS, an increase of 1918.
There is an increase OF ninety clergy men, The
total being ), $50.
There are in Russia "a baptist churches. &
pastors and evangelists, = Sunday school,
and l2,31 church members The number
baptized last year was $50 The work IS car
red on amid many difficulties. hut Is yet
quite prosperous.
The oldest lin term of service editor of a
religious paper in the United States Is Rev.
{. L. Babb D. D.. of The Herald and Pres
byter; next Is DR. Henry II. Field, OF The
Evangelist, and third is Dr. Monfort, of The
Herald and Presbyter
There are l23 Protestant churches and
places of worship in Paris, vita !. nety-two
ministers. OF these eighteen churches. with
fifteen ministers, belong to the Reformed
church OF France, and sixteen churches. with
nineteen minister's to the Luthern chuuch
a table showing the percentage Of college
students who enter the ministry. prepared by
Professor G 7. Norris, shows the following
decrease: At Harvard, from - per cent IN
1850 to per cent in $50; at Yale from Il
per cent. in no to 5 per cent in 1880; at
Princeton, from ~ per cent, in $50 TO IS per
cent in 1870; at Williams, from y IFr cent
IN 1900 and ~ per cent IN 1925 to III pcr
ent in 1850 at Amherst, from "a per cent
in ISL to l3.5 per cent in 1850 Wesleyan
slll shows 80 per cent of ministers among
her graduates
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1888-01-24

A Park place dealer in head coverings
displays in his window The evolution of
hat" 1t is a unique exhibition. First
there is a grave and sleepy white rabbit
in n cage. Next to his apartment. as
reminder Of his possible fate. is mass of
rabbit fur from the bodies OF some of his
departed fellows. Exhibit in the collec-
ion is long, coniCal affair about the color
of n hornets nest. and scarcely rs sym
metrical in form. II is labeled: Form
ing the fur into shape The fourth stage
In the evolution is illustrated by an ex-
hibit entitled shrinking the body
The large gray cone has been contracted
to half its size, but looks as ungainly and
As little like a hat as ever. Exhibit 5,
however, looks very like u hat The gray
mass has been dyed black and stiffened
and but for its frayed edges it would
make a very decent headgear. The sixth
sample shows the finished hat, as hand
some n derby rs ever graced Uranium
Its edges are bound its interior uphol-
stored with white silk, and is such per-
feet hat MS would make the sleepy rabbit
marked Exhibit |, almost willing to die
to produce such a triumph of srt-New
York Evening sun.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1888-01-24

In the meantime | hear continuous
complaints about the high prices of living
in Washington, and there is no doubt
that radical change has gone on in this
regard. The rich men who have come
here entertain so grandly and dispense
their money so freely that, as Senator
Cullom told me the other day the poor
statesman has n hard time to keep within
the limits Of his salary Senator Cullom
said he has made nothing since he has
been in politics, and that he has lost his
money making sense by working in the
field of craftsmanship.
The days when congressman could
board on 81 a day have long since gone
by, and the man who gets along now on
$50 week does remarkably well. If he
has his wife and ch.'3ren with him his
bills run well mp in the hundre l. ner
month, and If he has not the chances are
that the allurements of Washington life
will carry him fast along the road to per
dition. -Carpenter's Letter.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1888-01-24
CREATIONS LOWER ORDERS.

\ farmer at New Garden, Pa, ha, n sheep
whose wool mad nine-ren wards OF cloth a
yard wide.
There are said to b, ouly four horses in
-Alaska-three At juneau and ore at Sitka
How do they ran their horse ears in Alaska.
\ fame near Readsvile Pa recently
Fillei tWod at one sho. His weapon was
a Single barrelel rih', with which he put a
ball through the rr,l of each deer a u dis
lance of s'ycuty-livc yards
nock OF ,lackhirl, that inust have been
nearly two miles i. leasth was seen by the
passenger, On Prl.I wanna railroad train
recently. The birds were so numerous tina
t1f darkenel the sky for q few minutes,
and presented most novel spectacle
\ Young man of Ashland. Ne, while on his
lay home from dance saw the form of Il
large animal in froAt Of him and fired several
Shu;S al it from a small revolver The ami.
NAL fell, and lie saw that 1t was an enormous
hun moos' He then cut its throat with Il
pocket KNIT" and in a few moments the great
animal brea'hcd its last
\ moGl;cN exhibited at a museum estab-
IiSiIod at Yac lhaya. Mexico, was CONDEMNED
to be shot uu;ler judicial sentence, for having
bitten "a man and caused his death The
family of the deceased brought complaint
before the JUDGE, who instituted criminal
proceedings against the monkey Tho man
agcr of the museum succeeded in obtaining
change of the sentence tp Imprisonment for
iiir Tie monkey is uoW behind the bars OF
an iron cage at the museum serving lis i'm
priaOurnept.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1888-01-24

heard the other day of "A clerk in a dry
goods store who was smart and quick, n
splendid manager and all that He had
an exalted opinion of himself, and FIRE
quently made himself disagrecable by re
marking to his associates that the concern
could not possibly get along without him.
This came to the ears of the senior part
ner, and the old gentleman called the
clerk into the private office and sud; Mr..
Jenkins, you have been very efficient and
we appreciate yuur services but | hear
that you have repeatedly asserted that if
you were To die the concern couldn't POS
sibly survive it. and this has worried both
myself and partner very much for You,
like all men, are liable to die very I'M
eXpectedIy. We have, therefore, con-
cluded to experiment while we are in
health and see if the concern viii survive
your absence. You Will. therefore, con-
slider Yourself dead for one year. aud We
will make IN effort to 50 consider YOU for
that length of time, "-tilohe Democrat
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1888-01-24

If we knoa all the methoi, of approach
adopted by an enemy are the hotter en-
ahled f. nari off the danger aud postpone
the moment Hheu surrender becomes inevita-
BILE. In many instances the Inherent strength
Of the hoiy -uflice- 30 enable it to oppose the
tendency toward death. MANY however have
lost these force To such an extent that there
is little or no help mother cases little aid
to the weakened Lungs will make all the diff
ference hetvrsn ,udlen death ard many
years of useful life. Upon the first symp-
tom, ot a Cough, Cold OF any trouble of the
Throat or Lungs, give that old and we'll
known remedy-Bnschee's German Syrup. a
careful trial. 1t will prove what thousands
LAY of it to be the 'benefactor of any
home
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1888-01-24
GENERAL SPORTING NOTES.

Sullivan says Ryan gave him the best fight
be ever had Ryan stood up to him While
the others ran away.
\ team of Irish cricketers are conn- to
the United States States this summer under
command of Nr. J. W. Hynes of Trinity
college.
Lucky Baldwin has made thirty-fve en-
tries to the waldo Park, Kansas City. stakes.
Emperor Of Norfolk and Los Angeles are
among the uCaIher.
Joe McAulifTe. who whipped Paddy Ryan.
is temperate Il an, was born i'll California
and is by trade n currier. He has challenged
Professor William Miller to twenty round
fight with gloves.
A rev two mile course is to be laid out at
Boston on the Charles river. between the new
Charles River bridge and the Brookline
bridge. 1t viii he the scene Of most Of the
aquatic contests Mt Boston this winter
During last year l,245 head of trotting
horses were sold at public auction in Ken
lucky for S:I45.0iS while the private sales
will font NJ at least that much more, one
breeding establishment alone having realized
over SjO.0a on the sales of trotting colts
and FLIES in ISL.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1888-01-24
easreoNo.ncAL IT'D BITS.

(. "Let him slip down. from 'Timon Of
Athens would he good Shakespearain
motto for raw oysters,
Masleira wine waters. 50 called, servef i
the afternoon teas. leave the Madeir7s Part
largely TO imagination.
1t is a reiectinl IN the gastronomic knowl-
edge Of Anslo-n.iIics TIM. they expect York
shire pudding to be served as DESERT
To provoke "a quarrel st a Baltimore club
it is only necessary to assert that canvas back
duck is not superior TO the red head variety.
There is an impression in Washington that
terrapin. cln..., back. oysters and wild TURKEY
viii ssttle the fishery dispute to everybodys
satisfaction
Scotch 1nar1nalade. some epicures declare,
j., Whit should 60 with boiled quail instead
Of cu-rant jelly, but the world is full OF
spurious epicures-
\ new pudding, made of prunes, dates.
lis and suet. and served with thick liquid
sauce, is dubbed the Alexandria 1t is rich
enough to produce insomnia.
Patent leather shavinysn is what some
body calls the trutfle chips served at some
hotels and re- aurants where there is no pro
nouncei prejudice against humbug.
Wise housekeepers make their own cracker
crumbs or dust instead of buying the pre-
pared stuff that comes done up in paper
boxes all ready TO use The lid covers
multitude of uncertain lies.
In the "Epicure's Year Book" just twenty
ye-rs ago, it is written September-Just as
oFs,ers are 70 ie had, but not il perfection.
-,oye;noer oyster In perfect order.
Iarch-Ehen oysters are at their very best
and latest.
An exchange rises TO remark that "for con-
Sumptives nothing is better than raw or half
cooked snails, and for those who are not
invalids q dozen of them is better than as
many raw oysters" \ little sal; should go
with this.
There are in Paris thirty-six licensed ven
ders Of horse meat. \ st Louis man who
has cultivated tasta for this kind of meat
says he LIKES it better than choice veal, which
il resembles. He aso thinks that one of the
most appetizins daint - fiat lie can place on
his table is q bit of wen roasted donkey meat
Professor Uocjcr say, nnro1os of coI'pu-
lence that the Jcwesse, oi Tunis when they
were 10 years Old. were ui- into dark rooms
and led on tie food Pre-, "a from -four and
also with the uos. e. jo 5 until ttcv were
Systematically fattenel. Ia a similar way
!'e continues. til. womeH in other parts of
Africa are said to reach the same lie rec Of
fatress IL eatiag b"Act and fresh dates.
Corpulence in those localities must he fash
'nUable -
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1888-01-24
ACROSS THE WATER.


There IS a noticeable emigration of Russian
Jews to England
Twenty-eight million francs are to be used
IN fitting up the Italian navy.
The London Gremcn are to be equipped in
asbestos cloth, which has already been tried
in Paris 1t does not burn
Egypt is rapidly adopting the usages of
civilized nations. The newest move in that
direction is the engagement Of ballet for the
theatre at Cairo.
Thirty thousand forged tickets were scat
tered abroad for the jubilee ceremonies at the
Vatican. The genuine tickets had to be
printed over again.
Paris is meditating a sensible reform 1t
is proposed to establish an earlier hour for
dining, i'll order to enable people to reach the
theatres more promptly
St Paul's cathedral is to be washed Fire
men are to set to work on it with hose and
brushes to see how they can brighten the
blaCkened old walls An expert says that it
is not dirt but a kind of lichen that makes it
black
The French government mas again taken
up the building of great armor clad ships
Eight are now being pressed forward to com
pletion. Admiral Pallu de In Barriere has
caused a vessel to he built encased with
cocoanut fiber instead of armor plates 1t is
sad to have greater power of resistance than
c.aal
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1888-01-24

1--WE greatly dislike TO find fault with
any Of the customs OF our beautiful little
city," SAYS Il Dakota editor. but We must
nevertheless insist that people keep their
swine ont from under the office of this
paper. While engaged at our desk writ
ing our leader on The Stability of Our
Territorial Institutions for orr paper
this week, one of Senator NcBride's razor
backed hogs bumped up its spine and be-
gan scratching its back on the beams
under the door, Earring the whole build
ing and making it necessary for us to stop
our work on the editorial, crawl under
our office, and welt the critter along the
side with column rule This interrupted
our train of thought, and the editorial /
not what we could wish"