The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1888-03-17
y, Wilhelmina, Come Back.

*tu the gravy department and corrected
Rrpofa at our pie foundry for two days, and
ttnen Jumped on the evening that we were to
nave our clergyman TO dine with us, please
1,ine back, or write to 80 Park Row, saying
where she left the crackers and cheese.
Come back, Wilhelmina, writes
bill Nye, in the New York World,
and be our little sunbeam once more.
ZONE back and cluster around our
hearthstone at so much per cluster.
II you think best we will quit
h8ving company at the house, espe-
eRlly people who do not belong to
your set. We will also strive, o, so
hard. to make it pleasanter for you
N every way. If he had known,
four or five years ago that children
were offensive TO you, it would have
oeen different. But it is too late
now. All we can do is to shut them
up in a barn and feed them through
2 knot-hole. If they shrek loud
. 4 y 'GGsssssk to give pain. to your throb-
bing brow, let no one know, and we
will overcome any false sentiment
we may feel towards them, and send
them to the Tombs.
Since you went away we can see
how wicked and selfish we were, and
now little we considered your CON-
fort. We miss your glad smile, also
your Tennessee marble cake and
your slat-pie. We have learned a
valuable lesson since you went away,
and it is that the blame should not
have rested on one alone. 1t should
have been divided equally, leaving
me to bear half of it and my wife
the other half.
Where we erred was in dividing
up the blame on the basis of tender
loin steak or peach-cObbler, compel
ling you to bear half of it yourself
That will not work, Wilhelmina.
Blame and preserves do not divide
on the same basis. We are not now
in favor of what may be called q
sliding scale, We think you will
like this better.
We also made a grave mistake in
the matter Of nights out. While
young l formed the wicked and per.
niciOus habit of having nights out
myself. painted for the night air
and would go long distance anC
stay out a long time to get enough o
it for mess, and then bring it home
in a paper bag, but l can see now
that it is time for me to remain in
doors, and give Young people like
yourself a chance, Wilhelmia.
So if I can do anything evening"
while you are out that will assist you
such as stoning raisins or neighborins
windows, command me. l am M
cook. OF course, but can peel apple!
or grind coffee. or hold your head fol
you when you need sympathy.
could also soon learn to do the plair
cooking, | think, and friends Wht
come to see US after this have agreed
to bring their dinners.
There is no reason why harmony
should not be restored among US anC
the old sunlight come back to ou
roof-tree.
Another thing / wish to write be
fore l close this humiliating personal
l wish to take back my harsh and bit
ter words about your singing. l sait
that you sang like shingle-milI, bu
| was mad when l said it, and
wrongeI you. / was maddened by
hunger, and you told me that must
and milk was the proper thing for {
brain-worker, and you refused t
give me any dope on my dumping
Goaded to madness by this, l sale
that you sang like a shingle-mill, bu
it was not my better nature tina
spoke. 1t was my groSser and NOR
gastric nature that asserted itself, ant
l now desire to take it back. Yol
do not sing like a shingle. mill, a
least so much as to mislead a prac
ticed ear.
Your voice has more volume, ant
when your upper register is closed
mellower than any shingle-mill
ever heard.
Come back, Wilhelmina. We nee'
you every hour.
After you went away we tried t
set the bread as we had seen you d
it, but it was not success. The mex
day it came off the nest with little
of small, sallow rolls which woul
easily resist the action of acids.
If you cannot come back, will yo
please write and tell me how you ar
getting along. and how you contriv
to insert air-holes into home-mad
bread.