West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1888-02-02

monte; I'll teach you lesson"
"Glangl g'lang d,awled the driver
as he looked over his shoulder with
curioCs mingling Of pity. contempt or
wonder on his dusty face. More and
more spitefully snapped the swinging
whip as the slow-paCed oxen toilod mile
after mile under the heat of n Septem
Der sun. And there in the road trudged
Armstrong behind the wagon; slowly,
wearily, thoughtfully, but not silently.
lie was man who always spoke his
thoughts.
This serves you right, Armstrong.
Any man who will fool his money away
at three card monte deserves to walk in
the dust"
1t will spoil these clothes
"Wcll, don't you deserve it,"
"Tho dust fill my eyes 4"
'Yes; any man who CANDLES all his
dust away at three.card monte deserves
to have dust in his eyes-and alkali dust
at that"
"The dust chokes me-"
"All right any nan who will buck at
monte deserves to be chokcd. Keep the
road, sir--the middle of the roa1 close
up TO the wagon. DO YOU think YOU
will ever buck at monte again, Arm
strongF
And so the poor culprit, self-arrested.
self condemned, Coughed and sneezed
and chokel and walked and talked,
nile after mile, hour after hour while
the great wagon groaned and crcakcd.
the driver bawled and swung his whip.
The pat'clt oxen gave their shoulder TO
the yoke, and the golden sun of Sep
tcmbcr sank woarily toward the west.
The shadows OF evening were beginning
TO fall when the wagon halted at the
place called Packers Roost, on the
luba.
Here we rest" sighed Armstrong
just above his breath, as he looked mt
the stream. no you don't" answered
the head OF the firm "You buck your
money away at monte and talk abolt
rest "Now, Armstrong, 90 right down
the bank sir, into the river As the
command was percmp,ory and a
spirit of obedience see ned the safest,
Armstrong obcyed without plrley and
down he went, over his head and ears,
store clothes and all, into tho cold noun.
ia stream. II was long time that he
remained in the water and under the
water He would come to the surface
every little while TO tux, youundcrs,and
II was impossible for Armstrong to for.
bear talking. "Jh, yes he would say
as he came up and snufTcd the water
from his nose, you'll buck your money
away at three card monte, will you? How
DO you like the water cure" Ills words
wee, of course, duly punctuated by ir-
regular plungcs and catchings OF the
bIc lth
1t 50 happened that the man who kept
the shanty hotel at the Packers Roost
"a tsrCf frV
kind d-helrted creature, lesought her lord
to go down and "hclp the poor crazy
man ont Of the water"
''Pshaw," said the OK driver, che
amt a crazy man; he's fool lie
walked behind my wagon aud talked to
himself all the way from Scrabble
town"
Thereupon arose a lengthy discussion
about the difference between a crazy man
and fool. But after n while the lard
lord and the OK driver went down to the
bank and agreed TO 90 Armstrong; Sc
carity against buckiug AZ monte in the
future il lie would come out OF the water.
50 he came out and went up to the
house
"Will YOU have n cup Of tea or cof-
feet" said the woman, kindly.
Yes, madam said Armstrong Il
WI take both -
ale is crazy, sure as can be, " said the
woman. But she brought the two cups
as ordered. "Nilk and sugarf' she in
quired, kindly as before
"No, madam, mustard and rcd pep
per, answered Armstrong.
II do believe he is n fool said the
woman. as She went for The pepper and
mustard
Armstrong, with deliberate coolncs,.
put spoonful OF red pepper into the tea
and a spoonful OF mustard into the c0f-
fee. Then hc poured the two together
into tin cup. Then the old conflict ragged
again, ald high above the din Of rattling
tin cups and pewter spoons, sounded the
stern command armstrong. drink il
SIR drink it down" A mOmentarv
hcsitItion and fev-despcrate gulps and
10 was down "Oh yes. - said our hero.
as his throat burned and the tears ran
down his eyes, ''you buck your money
away 40 thrcc-card monte, do youF'
now the Thompsouian dose. above
described, very neatly ended tho battle
with poor Armstrong. lie was silent
Tor quite % time. and everybody else was
silent After 70 white the landlord ven
turcd 90 suggest that bed could bs
provided lf it was desired No" said
Armstrong, "I'li sleep on the floor
NoI see, stranger" said he, eyeing The
landlord with peculiar expression.
"ihi+ fool has been squandcring gold
dust at monte thrcs card monte aud
does not deserve 90 sleep iu bed"
So Armstrong endcl The days battle
by going TO be on tho foor Then
caue tho dreams Tie first dreamed that
hs was sleeping on the North Pole and
his bead in ihc tropics. while all the
miners in Yuba were ground -sluicinu in
Dis stomach Next, he dreamed that lc
had swallowed Mount shasti Tor suupc..
and th1t The o a mountain had suddenly
become an active volcano and was vom
iting acres and acres Ol hot lava.
Then the scenes shifted, and hc seemed
90 have found his final abode boo plae.
OF vile mclIs aud fierce flames. politely
called the antipO1cs OF heaven. And
while hc wdthed and groaned iu sleep
less agony fork tail fcnd was saying to
him in mo-king voice You buc.
your money away at three card monte. 90
YOU hey But even histroubIed sIccp
bad an end at last. and Armstrong arose
When hc looked roo himself in the broken
looking .ulnes fnlf hung ON Tho wall b.