Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1888-03-02
No Fun to Besa Gar.

No Fun to Besa Gar.
If anything could reconcile the avo.
age American boy to the iact that bs s;,
not u Gar, writes our national humor;s,
in tLs New York World, it would be tIs
late story of MIR. Strakosch to'the effao.
that his Imperial Majesty once, whsa
Czarowitch, played French eblipato
to the song given by Mad. Nilsson, ana
that years after, when he had becoms
full-blown Gar, the orchestra affected
him to tears, for it brought back tho
memory of that blessed time when be
did not have to put on sheet-iron
overcoat to go out and get the morn.
ing paper.
Happier indeed was this great man
with his French horn and his portfolio
as Czarowitch, living from hand to
mouth, than in after years as a thirty.
second degree Gar with mighty EN-.
pire under his thumb and a fractions
bomb under his throne.
Greatness brings with it newspaper
criticism, loss of appetite, languor,
cold feet and death. and even in death
a great man does not stand much of
chance. Relic-hunters come and trv
to break into his grave and carry frae-
ments of his system away to remem.
Der him by, and the historian criticises
him to his hearts content.
For this reason we ought to appre
ciate country where we need not be
great if we would rather not. A Gar
really has no alternative. He can
avoid being Czarina by beginning in
time, but when he discovers that lie is
a Czarowitch he knows that it is good
by, John, as the Russians have it.
Here the rules are less severe. A man
may escape greatness for years and
years. He may be President of the
United States to-day and promoting
puIlets tomorrow.
The utmost latitude is given to an
American. He can not only abstain
from being great, but after he has
been great our people will excuse
man and allow him to insert himself
into obscurity again in case he feels
more comfortable that way. But
Gear has no chance. He really has no
fun at all. AS soon as he discovers
that his lineage is high he is open to
criticism and can not do anything I'M
dignifed.
A Gar who would play short-stop in
picked nine or go about the country
delivering humorous lecture would
be ostracized. Many long, hot sum-
mer day he has to stay on big throne
and reign, while mediocre men go fish.
ing. Just as he thinks he is alone, and
takes off his hot, ermine- trimmed robes,
thinking that he will sit in his shirt
sleeves and play few strains on his
French horn, a courtier comes in, and,
making a low obeisance, states that he
has a ukase which ought to be issued
in time to catch the o'clock mail.
Then it is disagreeable for man to
be Gar and suddenly find himself the
parent of grand duke whom he
doesn't exactly feel at liberty to spank!
No man really wants to spank a grand
duke, no matter how little he is. As
Americans, we do not fully appreciate
the blessings of freedom which are de-
MED to Gar. Czarinas also have
pretty hard row to hoe, to use an Amer
icanism.
They have to meet all the social de-
mands that are made upon them, and
entertain neighboring potentates, see
that they have hot water and clean
towels in their rooms while visiting at
their houses, and show them the best
place to trade while in the city. They
also have to exercise general oversight
of the children. SO that their distract
ed country will not run short Of
monarch.
It is no uncommon thing for Car
ina to say to visiting dynasty. eek
cuse me moment, Your Royal Alti-
toodledum; His Nibs the Grand Duke
has Just informed me that Her Emil
nence the Grand Duchess, his sister,
has got Lima bean up her nose."