The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-13
BRIGHT BITS

Mr.. GRAMMAR is suing Mrs. Grammar Cor
divorce; he can't stand the woman Imperative
ana potential moods Martha 3 Vineyard Her
ald.
IT is in the highest degree improper and UNI
just 10 ildlcuie man on account OF his small
stature. Because he happens TO be little it isn't
right to belittle him.-ShOe and Leather Re
porter.
SIX SPECIES of North American birds have be-
come extinct in the last ten years They were
probably mixed up in some sort OF pot-pe affair
wnen they made their ext.--Rocnester Post
Express
The original elements are earth. air, fire and
water. Fire is the most destructive and water
Is the most powerful Fire water, therefore,
forms combination that is teaser.-Bi1lg-
hampton Leader.
JoHNsING-Wonner why Gus Slasher was so
quiet ike tonight, when yo' beat him at de
kyards, sam?
smli-Guess he'd lef' his razzer at home,
chile; al he knows never do.-JIttge
WHY should the spirit Of Boston be proud?
The jewels are borrowed she bOasted 50 loud,
Her sullivan came from the Emerald Isle,
And her beans from the banks OF the TiSrls and
Nile. Chicago Tribune.
PAssEHGER-I thought you carried all your
dressed hogs on freight trains?
COnductor-So we do.
Passengcr-Ihen how do you account for that
fellow ahead lunchlng on limburger cheessy-
Judge.
A SWINGING SIGN in front Of a Chicago store
bears the legend, Truth Spoken Here" Being
in Chicago, 1t attracts great deal of attention.
some night the boys will putting 1t in front
of lawyers Office for "a jOke.-NeW Orleans
PtCdyIae.
Mrs. BIGGINs-Ah, Mrs, Stiggins, it's not
every woman who has a husband like yours.
They say he is very indulgent.
Mrs. Stiggins-Ghere! | told Joshua that if
he kept on INDUCING on the sly somebody would
nnd IL out. ID BITS.
COUNTRY EDITOR Ito office boy)-Get brick
and prop up this stove.
There isn't a BRICK around"
There are several. Where are the ones that
were hurled through the window at me last
mighty journal.
DOMESTIC WIFE-Now, George, isn't it much
better to spend your evenings at home. instead
OF III some horiId saloon downtown with the
boys? Wouldn't you rather be here!
Yes, love, I'd great deal rather beer, - an
swered George quickly-DetFOtt Free Press
PRINCIPAL DEACoN-Now, Brudder Johnsing,
does yo' bheve i'll open or close cummunyun,
sab?
Candidate automatically, not knowing dea-
cons vlewst-Well, some likes it open, an some
closed, but TO me, says leave 1t ajar.-Hdrpers
Bdzdr.
JEBEDEE RAzzER-What's dat charl' don git
in his mouf now, Esthy?
Mrs. Jebedee kazzer investigating -Dey' yo'
catfish hooks, Shuanl
Jebedee Razzer-Make UNI 'spectorate m out
ICY am O'ho diIhAS Use NLilu ucy koUS
Puck.
DoN'T THINK just because girl persstently
says No" to you that she has made up her
mind that she will never marry. The chances
are that there is another fellow who comes to
see her Thursday nights and who never heard
her say mo" in all his blissful and glad career
-iSuDHlerUtlte Journal.
GUEST Ito hotel clerk(-I've met that gentle
man who just went out before somewhere. His
face is very familiar, but to save my life can't
call his name.
Cierk-His name is Smith; he is one of the
officials at Auburn prison. Your bill is 81, sir.
--NetC York Sun.
THE New York Mdu asks: did you ever see
a mourning ring?" No: but we've read about
EN-. mourning ring is one in which a couple
of prize fighters stand and hammer each other
for fame and the championship. Four optics
are generally put in mourning in the ring
NoITiStotcn Herald.
LIEUT. BoxER--Tm ordered to Morocco, Miss
Eson. We're likely to have trouble there, you
know.
Miss Elson-You must be careful not to be
captured.
Lieut. Boxer-I'll try not to.
Miss Elson-I would Just think how ridicu-
lous you'd look bound in Morocco-Tid Bits.