St. Paul daily globe., 1888-03-10
JOHN REA's BISMARCK BOOM.
Chicago Times Gossip Over the
Wonders of the Capital of Da-

Chicago Times Gossip Over the
Wonders of the Capital of Da-
kOta.
We are deeply indebted to Col. John
A. Rea, the register in the land office at
Bismarck, Dak., and boomer general of
that boOmiierous Rnd of eternal summer
(or those who like summer) and ever
lasting winter (fOr such as prefer cold
weather)-we are indebted to Col. Rea
for pamphlet setting forth the several
reasons why any man is fool who
doesn't already live i'll Dakota or isn't
now on the way there.
There is good deal of bliZZardous
reading matter in this pamphlet-read-
ing matter which blows such a gale it
tousles your hair up and chaps your
cheeks while you hold the pages before
you. One wants ear muffs and buffalo
Overcoat and woolen tippet on him
when he sets out to read anything John
Rea has to say about Dakota in general,
and Bismarck in particular. Not that
John is cold in his eXclamatiOns. On
the contrary, he is always warm,
often red-hot; and therein lies
the danger. He throws you into a
violent perspiration with his fervent,
glowing wOrd-pictures, and there you
sit in the draft and catch cold, for there
is always a free circulation OF air where
ever John Rea or his words may be.
One feature of this remarkable
pamphlet is the map which fills two
large pages and shows where Bismarck
is, and little black rim around it
which shows
WHERE BISMARCK IS NOT,
but hopes to be. This map is supposed
to represent Bismarck and the rest of
the American continent, but as there is
a limit to this page, the'rest of the con-
tinent does not have much of show. A
system of railroad lines, drawn with a
straight edge, radiates in every possible
direction from Bismarck until that cen
ter of the universe is made to rival the
sun itself in the number of its rays;
only we are given to understand that
we are given to understand that while
the rays of the sun are tranSitory and
unreliable, these Bismarckian rays are
iron-bound and spiked down In their
places. A careful study of these lines
shows us that Bismarck is right square
between everywhere and everywhere
else. If you should shut your eyes and
jump aboard any train Oh any railroad in
America, no matter what direction it
might be going, you would fetch up in
BiSmark, and John Rea would be at the
depot with brass band and a deed for a
quarter section to welcome you. We
remember that, when Col. Rea was
down here four years ago helping to
nominate whomever the majority Of the
Republicans might agree on for presi-
dent, he told US that, while he and Gov.
Gil Pierce were measuring to find the
exact geographical center of Bismarck.
he stubbed his toe on something hard,
which. on investigation. proved to be
the center of gravity. We thought
maybe Col. Rea was Joking or romano
ing about this at the time, but, now that
we have seen this railroad map and the
undertaking direetness with which the
roads fly to Bismarck from every direc-
tion, we see he was telling serious and
important truth. And we notice, as we
sit here now, the Office cat has plunged
her claws into the carpet and is holding
on with all her might to keep from be-
ing sucked away in adue northwesterly
dirantion