The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-02-02
BRIGHT BITS.

BRowHE-why did you stop literary work ,
somebody told me you received check for
your poem.
Smithe- Yes, did was a blue check-'No
l2,y42; declined with thanks; 10c. due: IL a
very effectual check Burlington. (Vt) Free
Press
Mrs. CAssIDY-Why don't you come down and
see me, Mrs. McGlnniss
:, Mrs; NcGinnis-And it's you that's talkin',
MIS-. CASSIDY; and not sight did | see Of ye
since last Aistber! Sure, If lived as near to
you as you do TO me a. be droppln' in every
week.-Puck.
HALL BOY-Did you ring, sir,
Uncle Elisha (whO blew out the gas fifteen
minutes beforel-I didn't do nothin' else.
wish {, you'd look inter the room mex ter this
an tell tn duffer that's smoking cabbage-leaf
cigars ter pub on my pipe till git ter sleep.
He's Elore'n welcome.-Puok
'AsD so you think you will get married when
you grow up to be young lady, E1ossie p said
oh, ! haven't doubt Of it" assented Flossie
everybody says very much like my
mamma, and she, you know, has been married
three times. "-Neu York Sun.
FIRST CHICAGO woMAS-Have you been to any
OF the Daniel Tee lectures:
Second Chicago Woman-You mean the Dante
lectures guess
First Chicago Woman-Yes. that's what they
call him, but | think such familiarity shows
mighty poor breedin ..-Pittsburg Chronicle.
DISAPPOINTED PEwHoLDER- Deacon Stubbs,
orr church is in great danger from that de-
fectiye fiue; did you know it!
Deacon Stubs Defective iue No, whers:
Have yOu said anything to the sexton about IT,?
Disappointed Pewholder-No, he couldn't do
anything about it. ! mean the minister-he
don't draw Springfield Mass Union.
The simple Irish woman's baby had faint
ing spell and the doctor came He called for
some water and was about to sprinkle il over
the child face to restore it. The mother stop
ped him. Hold on doctor. hold on | stint for
you to cure my baby; didn't sind for you to
baptize him. | don't want any child of mine
baptized by any medical man "-Sal Francisco
CtroR Gle.
Il SAY, Cholly. what d ye think? took Clara
UpHreet to the concert the other evening, and
she asked me what an opus was" mo-
Yes, she did. But made her ashamed of her
self gave her a whitening look and told her
loud enough for the people around us TO hear
that opus was an andante in creScendO time
with rallentandO fugue embellishments and
you bet crushed her '-Chtcdgo Mail
BRIDGET-Phwat in the name o common sinse
air yez dom wild de kirosane, Dinnis:
Dennis pouring oil from can against the
wind)-An' didn't ye jist read that lie poored on
the waves wud calam thin:
II did that"
"Phwell, Dim thryin' the Experiment an the
cowd wan phwats furninst us.''-Hdrper's
Weekly.
OMAHA DAME-Do you know what time 1t was
when you got in last night?
Husband-Nearly | O'Clock, l guess II was
after midnight when / got through balancine,
my books. Well WELL This is curious! Here &
my hat under the bed. must have hung it on
this chair and it fell down.
Probably"
Where are my boots?"
ION the hat rack. '-OndhG World.
Justice OF THE PEAcE-Had you ever saw this
man before
Witness-Yes
Had he came before you had went ?"
NO"
is them your eggs what you say was stole -
Yes
Would you have recognized them IL you had
seen them before they was brung here -
Yes, would have knowed them"
Speak grammatic, young man! It amt
proper TO say have knowed; you should say have
knew. Cincinnati Enquirer