St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-14
CARL DUNDER.
He Decides Not to Become a Great
Man.

Man.
Detroit Free Press.
''Shildrens, let me told you some
things. | vhas an oldt mans, and L
knows peter ash you. If you want to
hat some fun und be happy. doan' you
try to be great. I doan' pellet dot vhay
when | vhas poy, und SO lay o0p sor-
row for myself.
''YOu haf alt heard of Napoleon Bona
parte. He vtaS great sheneral. He
can lick all Europe nit one hand tied
pehind his back. He vhas der greatest
man for hundred years. Some peo-
piles yllaS so afraid of him dot dey
Shump in der rifer, und some like him
SO dot dey sit oop nights to hurrah.
Maybe dot looks awfully nice to you,
but how VhaS she. Dot Bonaparte can
meier go in a tobacco store and play
sfeckers init fireman. He doan' hat
no time to go OH a picnic. He nefer
sees game of base ball. He doan' hat
SO ne fun nit der boys at ward caucus.
All ne does vhas to plan some fights
ana Knock eafery pody into der middle
OF TWO weeks ago. lake him for ten
years und he doan' laugh once. He
vhas great, but does dot pay? Where
vhaS der fun-der benefits?
Some poys cry because dey vhas not
Sheorge Washington. Maybe it looks
awful nice to be president and shen-
eral, und to swell around und boss
eafery body, und to hat your name in
der papers, but you hold ON. Do you
pellet Sheorge Washington eater hat
some fun nit der poys? Does he eafer
steal some apples, carry off SOMEBODY'S
gate or hook sugar from der pantry, und
nopody dareS slap him on der back und
call him oldt mans, und nOpOdy dares
ask him to ship his ticket. He must
shust be biz gun und keep quiet ind
comb his HAIR fife times tay.
"Maype some of der little gals yha3
mad because dey won't nefer be queen
OF Spain. A queen has nice dresses.
und she can hat some quails on toast
eafery day, und if she says she wants
this or that she can hat him. When she
rides out eaferybody shmileS und bows
und cheers, und if she was seek der
papers come out eafery hour. Dot looks
nice, but hold OH little while. If YOU
WAS queen you can't play tag NIT der
pOyS, you can't eat some peanuts nor
chew gum, you can't put on an old
dfeSS nor wear some old shoes, und
II you go to a picnic you can't
eaten fall Oafen a log and skin your
nose. HOY it would look for queen to
stand out by her gate und gossip init
Mrs. Blank about dot new neighbor and
her nine cats! If her husband comes
home late she can't say one word, ulId
ii she goes by der Kitchen der hired
girls bounce her out. She must sit Oop
very straight und look very solemn,
und If she looks out of der window und
a pOy falls down she can't eaten smile.
Ii you want some comforts in dis world
dOan' You be some queens.
81 ShuSt like to be as | am und like L
vhas. l some man calls at my house he
takes off his hat und says my wife vhas
looking peter ash she vhas, und dot we
Vhas hating SOOch bad weather as ne
meier sees before. When man comes
IN my place of peeSnesS he says: Hello.
Dunder. yhaS he cold enough for her?
How vhas your left lung to-day, any
how?' can laugh at him, or | can poke
him in der ribs, or l can tell him to go
by Halifax. Dot makes lie happy, und
grow fat some more. If vhaS sooch
great man dot hat to hold my legs
stiff as crowbars und my backbone like
a gate post, uDd say 'um? und 'hav und
90 Ply der barber once day, L vhas so
so seek und tired dot l run away from
myself. When | vhaS who vhas l can
wake Oop in der morning und box
Shakes ears, keek my dog out doors,
shmile on my wife, und go down town
und feel dot | like to stay in Detroit
ten hOODered wears