The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1888-03-28
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

The right bower-Home.
The best corn remover-The crow.
a still hunt-A search for moonshiners.
A poet sings: "Two chords struck"
when he ought to have sung, 1.-TWO cords
l sawed"
A winding stare-Watching your best
girl as you hold her skein of foss.-De-
t'ot Free Press.
Always approach buzz saw with your
toes pointing in the opposite direction.
-BarLingto9 Free Press.
The volcano appears to be nothing but
an instance of absurd exaggeration of
the principle of the pimple.
A young lady has named one of her
admirers Hoosac Tunnel because he is
such an everlasting BORE Warren (O.)
Mirror.
The fact is observed by the Boston
HerdM that we are importing potatoes
from Scotland as well as Murphys from
the Old Sod.
An English art journal has offered
prize to any one who will discover the
cause of badness. We know, but we
darsent tell - Burlington Free Press
Tramp to a woman at the door,
"Will you please gimme bite, nam"
Woman CLOSING the door)-''No; git
out Pm no dog. ."-DrGke's Magazine.
Father-"What do you think of boy
that throws banana skin on the side
walk" Son-'I don't know. What do
you think of banana skin that throws
man on the sidewalk9'-LJe.
A lazy fellow who was idling away his
time was asked by minister where he
expected to go when he died. 81 shall
not 60" was the reply II expect to
be carried. Bling nghdiHtOR Louder.
There is tramp butcher back of the
Yards. Whenever he gets job of kill
ing sheep he takes the liver and lights
out, and sometimes he succeeds in taking
the skin off, too G0oaaVS SuR.
81 tell you, these leap year dances are
fine thing. My wife took me and paid
all the expenses herself" 'Where did
your wife get the money" "Oh, let
her have it. y Whiteside (IP.) Herald.
Ruskin says: "Man should resemble q
river We do not know what he
means, but suppose the reason is that in
order TO amount to much in society he
should own couple of banks.-LoceB
citizen.
Tobacco stems are now being used in
making paper; on the principle, we sur
pose, that turn about is fair play, all the
straw and old rags having been utilized
long ago in the manufacture of cigar
cites. It'd Bits.
A Pole named Hentzlestezski recently
settled few miles from Binghamton.
From the jagged appearance of his name
we should take him to be a section of a
barbed wire fence rather than pole.-
NOyriSt0lCR Herald.
Now the gay unmarried farmer in the even
ing takes his charmer,
Mary Jane or Sal or Dinah, for some pleas
ant moonlight drives,
And he tells that yearning story, always new
though always hoary,
And before the spring is over she'll have
joined the ranks of wives.
Nebraska State Journal.
Stranger in Detroit "a hundred years
hence why do all the people stand
with uncovered heads when that little
man passesm Haven't you
heard of him? He's the great society
leader. He belongs to one of the old
families" Stranger-"Ol familiesP
Detroiter-"Yes, stree. His great grand
father was the first Captain Of the De-
troit nine.-LUe
No, sir, l win have you to know.
We will have no vast union depo,
Twill ne'er be our undeserved lot
To harbor union depot;
care not how loudly you say SO
We're wanting no union daypo,
We're as far as we are from Aleppo
From the ghost of a union deppo,
And trust you don't think that twill be so
For wen have no grand union deepo.
From such foreign concoctions we've enamel
patton,
Wen have an unparalleled union station.
-Bufaio Courier.