davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-08-31
Thin Women and Fat Women

Thin women are dangerous, says
the New York Graphic. A fat wo'
man has got to be good tempered
and easy going. l think temper ia
all in the bones anyway, and when
a woman is fat the temper becomes
absorbed before it comes to the
surface. But when the woman is
thin the temper is right there on
the surface. If ever fat woman
has a high temper it is awful. She
never cools. A thin woman cools
Oft quickly, but she heats up again
just as quickly. A thin woman
with a good temper comes as near
being an angel as anybody can on
this earth-if she isn't too thin. A
thin woman can dress in a white
robe, and if you put a harp in her
hand she'll look just like an angel
Could fat woman ever look like
angel in any dress 7 No. When
woman has a stout, full figure
there's no expression to her. She's
a series of fcurves that don't change
No. There's something about 9
thin woman that you can't describe
that is dangerous to the peace o.
man. Still, people do love fat wo
men often.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-08-31
An Insane Man Comes Down in
Balloon in a Cotton Field.

MARIETTA, Ga, Aug. 17.-While
a number of negroes we're working
in a cotton field near here yester-
day, they we're alarmed by an OBJ
ject that was rapidly descending
toward them. They rushed to and
fro in the widest CONSERVATION, be-
lieving it was some supernatural
manifestation. A little later 1T fell
almost in their midst, and proved
to be a balloon. AS it came down
a man jumped from it. He gestlc-
uIated wildly, but could only utter
a strange gibberish. He was TAX
en- charge of by Mr.. Lyman, the
owner of the plantation. Nothing
can be ascertained from him as tc
where he is from or his name. lie
is doubtless insane. He is q man
of small stature, swarthy complex
ion, and peculiarly dressed in a
close silk shirt and buekskin trous
ers. Every effort will be made To
discover who he is. People from
all parts of the country are flock
ing to see him.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-08-31

command, aud the crew came up
and we're picked up, but a lady
whom they had previously rescued
never came up again."
Allan A. Curtis, one of the res
cued passengers OF the Chester,
told the following story: 81 was
standing amidships on the lef t
hand side, and saw the Oceanic
bearing down towards us. She
was fully one hundred yards dis.
tant. She struck us 40 feet from
the bows, on the left hand side
As she struck there was a rush Of
passengers towards the Oceanic,
and for a time there was "A most
horrible sight. The people who
got there fcst and who were
strongest clambercd on board the
Oceanic. I made a rush for the
boat and helped to lower it. 1t
was the first lowered, and into it |
threw my wife and child. Some
fifteen people i'm mediat ely made a
leap tor the vessel. We had hardly
got clear of the vessel when the
Chester went down head first"
The Chester went down in about
fifty fathoms OF water, and it is not
probable she will ever 5e seen
again. The undeItow at this por-
ton of the bay is particularly
strong, while numerous currents
and eddies lie beneath the surface.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-08-31
Electric BIiters.

This remedy is becoming so well
known and so popular as to need
no special mention. All who have
used Electric Bitters sing the same
song OF praise. A purer medicine
does not exist and it is guaranteed
to do all that is claimed. Electric
Bitters will cure all diseases Of the
Liver and Kidneys, will remove
Pimples, BoiIs, Salt Rheum and
other affections caused by impure
blood. Will drive Malaria from the
system and prevent as we'll as cure
all Malaria fevers. For cure OF
Headache, Consumption and Indi
gestion try Electric Bitters-En'
tire satisfaction guaranteed, oil
money refunded. Price 90 cts
aud Sl.00 per bottle at B. Schmitp:
Drug Store.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-08-31
WANTED TO GET OUT.
From the Kansas City Journal.

From the Kansas City Journal
Hs wac an express messenger on
the Santa Fe a few days ago. 1t
was a night run, and there were
two messengers in the car. Just
as it began to grow dusk the train
was stopped at small station and
a dead body was taken aboard
Nothing in particular was thought
of this, however, and as there was
nothing to do, and the train would
not stop again for a long distance,
both messengers prepared to 60 to
sleep. One of them decided that
the box containing the body would
be good place to rest on, and so
he arranged himself comfortably
thereon and went to sleep.
How long he slep he has no idea,
but suddenly, as if in dream, he
heard a voice say: "Let me out p
The messenger, startled, lay half
awake for moment, when in no
uncertain tones came the words,
apparently from within the head of
the box on which he slept.
"D.-n you, let me out"
1t is quite distance from where
the box lay to the other end of the
car, but the messenger is positive
he cleared it in two jumps. Tremb'
ling with fear he shouted to his
companions, but before he had a
chance to tell his story that self
same voice exclaimed
81 want to get out of here"
Neither of the men spoke for
moment, and then the one who had
first heard the voice, SAID:
"Jim, that corpse wants to get
out"
jim thought for a moment, and
then said: swell, I reckon il
wouldn't be right to keep him IN
there if he wants to get out"
Sc the two made their way
cautiously to the head Of the box
and debated what to do, when the
same muffled voice was heard to
remark:
"Polly wants a cracker "
Then the mystery was explained
Some one at Denver had expressed
parrot to a friend in Kansas City,
It's cage had been set away and
forgotten, and the bird had natu'
rally become hungry and thirsty
So it waited as long as it could,
and then made itself heard in the
manner that 80 horrlfed the ex'
press messenger.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-08-31
The Latest Snake Story.

Samuel G. Gates, q Florida
farmer, prides himself on his fine
COWS. Recently he noticed that
one of them gave very little milk,
aud he came to the conclusion that
she was MIXED before she reached
the yard. The other day be de-
termined to watch for the thief,
and taking his gun, carefully went
out to where they were grazing
He secured a position near this
particular COW where he was
screened, and waited. For over
two hours he remained there, not
seeing anything suspicious. Sud
denly he noticed two big black
snakes glide out of a branch near
by. They went through the herd,
the COWS not minding them, and
proceeded directly to this COW. To
Mr.. Gates great astonishm ent, he
saw one of them coil itself up un'
der the COW, and reaching up
grasped teat and began sucking
The COW seemed Indifferent, as
she stood still, but stopped chewing
her cud. After sucking for a few
minutes, the first snake stopped
moved to one side, when the second
one moyed up and took its place
and began enjoying It's feast OF
fresh milk. Mr.. Getes thought
this was too much of a good thing
and moved out to have his share OF
the sport. AS soon as she saw him
the COW beloved loudly and ran
off. The snakes coiled themselves
up and darted out their tongues
defiantly at him. Moving around
till he got them both in line, he
fred at them, blowing their head:
of. They were found to be male
and female and very large specl
mems, one measuring nearly seven
feet long, but not very large around
This is the first instance, Mr.
Gates says, he ever saw where two
snakes worked together and se0m
ed to know just how to divide 9
good thing.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-08-31
ONLY DUST TO DUST.
New York Observer,

New YORK ODseryers
Here our woven lives must part
Long I've known it would be so;
JOY so dear will find its woe
Love so full ITS wounded heart,
Thou wilt stay, but depart
Hence, aye, hence from friend and Toe
Where the spirits are, go;
Thus our woven lives must part.
Thou wilt mourn for our lost days,
From tho dawn TO set of sun
And thy tireless thought will run
On and on through mystic ways;
Skyward thou wilt gaze and gaze,
Musing with thyself as one
From the shadowy realms outspun,
Doomed to mourn for our lost days
Shall see thee, who can say
God knows, faith alone can see
In the veiled eternity,
And / would not blind its way;
/ shall Ii st to bear thee pray
Haply hear song from thee
Dwelling by thy land-lOCked sea
Shall know thee, who can say
Quickly-like a sudden thought,
/, a spirit, winged. may fly
Outward, onward through the sky
Hear thee saying-Overwrought-
"All his love Is turned to nOught;"
Hear thy troubled bosom sigh
"All is lost since he must die,--
Leaving memory distraught."
/ shall answer from the skies,
"All his love is turned to fire
Burning purer, deeper, higher,
Far than thine; thy laden sights
For thy murmurs-cannot rise
LO. how foolish thy desire
Clings to earth to faint and tire :"
Thou wilt hear me from the skies.
Vex thee not OF "dust to dust"
Nothingness nay, do not read
Life in such barren creed
Life is neither dust nor lust;
"Dust to dust" not soul to dust
Frailest thought and lightest deed
Heavenly-born, shall Godward lead J,
Only earth is "dust to dust ~
STEPHEN HENRY THAYER.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-08-31

last the masked burglars neu pre-
cipltately. Caesar barking wildly
at them, and straining his chain to
the utmost, in his efforts to wreak
his vengeance upon them.
"Young fellow cried the old
man, scrambling out of bed, "yon've
saved my life, besides the govern
ment coupons that were under my
pillow. What can l do to reward
you Z"
He was very pale and trembled
violently.
"1'd like something to eat, if you
please, sir" said Wynton. "To tell
you the truth, I've just come out OF
the plum tree"
ayes, ! know" said Brown, re-
covering himself a little. "You're
the fellow that is In love with our
Bella, amt your"
81 don't deny it, sir" said Wyn'
ton, boldly.
dwell, you deserve her." said
Mr.. Brown; sand you shall have
her. 1t was | that ordered the dog
chained up to the plum tree. |
meant to balk you ifI could, but
I've changed my mind. | should
have been a dead man, young fell
low, il it hadn't been for you.
Come right down stairs this mo-
ment. Nothing in this house is too
good for you~
And he wrung Wynton's hand
until 1t seemed as if it were grasp
ed in an iron wise.
A strange midnight collation. 1t
was--the coffee and cold fowl, the
biscuits and tongue, eatenwlth Bel
la nesting close at his side, and
Mr.. Brown heaping all sorts of in
discriminate dainties upon his
plate, while old Zerulah's face glow
cred out of the darkness of the
kitchen, like a badly.lighted poly
opticon. But a happy one-yes, a
very happy one.
The constabulary force of Bean
Hollow were promptly notified the
next morning, and search institu
ted; but to no avail. Nothing was
ever heard of the two masked bur
glars.
But when Mr.. Wynton came
back to the Bean Hollow Inn, the
following day, to order his port
manteau removed to the Brown
farmhouse, and bid his late col
leagues adieu, he wrung Belton'l
hand alternately with that Of Weir
81 don't know how | can evel
thank you, boys" said he. "No'
for the rescue from a rather sorry
plight-brute force could have
done that with a blow on the dog''
head-but for the manner of 1t
Pm a great man now in old Browne
estimation, and Bella thinks l an
hero. And it's all owing to YOU.
"Oh, don't mention it, old fellow
said Weir. "HOw did you like mi
as a first-class ruffIan."
"By.the.w way" added Bolton, Pv'
burned the masks ClrcumstantIa
evidence, you know. They nigh
| get us into trouble.'
"You'll invite us to the wedding
Of COURSE" queried Weir.
"Ob, yes p said Wynton, beam
ingly.
"AId l may kiss the bride ?
asked Bolton.
"Ot course you may !" said Wyn
ton.
And Belton observed, thought
fully, that he considered that re
ward enough for any man.-SatuT
la, h.oLf
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-08-31
nR. B. F. MAPHIS & BRO.
-DentiEta.

OFFICES: woOdstoeh and saumsvilie, Virginia.
In Woodstock 1st and 3rd weeks Of each
mouth. In Saumsville 2nd and 4th weeks.
Those in need of first-class Dentistry at
moderate prices, will do we'll to call.
Full sets Of artificial teeth from 500 10
S17.O0, $500 and 5000.
Pure gold fllings from sl.25 TO $10.OO.-
Silver Filings from 70 cts. TO $500.
Artificial teeth put up on solid gold,
gold and celleloid combination, celleloid
and rubber plates.
Gold and porcelain riveting, clasps, &c
Special attention given to alling and pre-
sewing the natural teeth, and correcting
the Irregularities. All work warranted first
class. Teeth extracted absolutely without
pain by the use of Nitrous Oxide Gas.
May u. 's4-tf.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-08-31
Bay MEALS AT ALL HOURS.
EURE KA II o u s Z,
JOS. F. HOLTZMAN, Proprietor,
EDINBURG, VA.

This new and commodious hotel is now
open for the reception Of guests. Every
thing is new from basement 10 attic, and
was built with a view to making il one Of
the most comfortable and attractive hotels
in the Valley. The rooms are fitted up
with all modern improvements in furni-
ture. The Office and dining room arc
handsome, large and comfortable.
No pains or expense will be spared to
furnish the table with all that can tempt
the appetite and give perfect satisfaction.
Charges will be very moderate, and
guests can rest assured that all will be
done to make their stay comfortable and
enjoyable.
A fst-class livery is attached to the
hotel. lDec. 10, 'V-u'
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-08-31
A SUCCESSFUL RUSE.
BY HELEN FORREST GRAVES.

"Please sir,n said old Zeruiah,
the housekeeper, "there's a man
up in the plum-treep
Cup in the plum-tree 7" repeated
Mr.. Brown. And what's he doing
up in the plum-treei 1t amt the
time O year for ripe plums."
"No," said Zeruiah, giving the
frying-pan that she was cleaning
an extra scrape with the knife,
"tain't time O. year for plums to
be ripe. But it's always time o.
year for young men to make fools
of themselves-and the third
branch of that 'ar plum.tree is on a
line with the window of Arabella
Arden's ROOM"
"Eh ~ said Mr.. Brown, dropping
his newspaper and opening his
eyes very wide.
"As true as you live, sir" said
Zeruiah.
"But that was precisely what
my brother sent her down here
for" said Mr.. Brown, contracting
his bald forehead into innumerabie
wrinkles, ITO keep her out of Hu-
bert Wynton's way ~
"Hamphp p said Zeruiah. "The
world is wide--but it amt wide
enough to keep two tools apart"
"Up the plum-tree, is hef" said
Mr.. Brown, with sardonic smile.
"What sort of a looking fellow is
he, Zeruiah ~
oval" answered the old woman,
still holding the frying-pan as Min
erva of old might have held her
shield, "the leaves is thick, and
my sight amt what it once was (;
but he's got light.colored clothes
on, as was never cut in Bean Hol-
low and his hat, that lays out on
the grass, has got a city makers
name in it,"
"GOOdw nodded Mr.. Brown.
"YOU. ought to have been detect
i've, Ruey. They would give you
60 cd wages, I'll bet a big apple.
Where is the hat p
81 brung it in and put it On the
hall table," answered ZerHiah.
every we'll. Go out and chain
Caesar under the plum-tree. Give
him a good length Of chain, Ruey
Then come back and move all Ara
bela's things into. the west bed
room. I'll take the end room my
self. IT there's any serenading, OI
poetry -recitiRg, or anything of thai
sort, I'll haye the benefit Of it my
self."
A slow smile broke out over Ze
ruiah's wooden face. .i
"But what'lI you tell her IN said
she.
"Tell herr Why that the enc
room is a better aspect for ny
rheumatism" sald Mr.. Brown
chuckling. Sand make haste, ol
she'll be back from Widow Peet's
Everything must be moved before
she returns. And pull the shade
down, so the city chap won't sus
picion what we're up tor
OF trudged Zeruiah, who, il
spite of her having first seen tn,
light on the rugged co'Ists OF Maine
was at heart true Spanish duen
ma, and took a grim delight in frus
trating the intents Of Cupid.
Bella Arden was Young and pref
ty. Bella had dared to ridicuI
her old fashioned ides,s. Bella ha'
nicknamed her an edusa," an
though ZeruIah bad not the leas
idea who "Medusa" was, she diml
suspected that it WIS no compl
mentary term. And therefore ~
ruiah vas not sorry TO see the pre-
ty Boston girl "eome up WITH"
she phrased it.
"Why, Uncle BrowII," cried Be
Ia, when she came in, with her fai
hair blown about her face. and be
! cheeks Redeemed bv ht VI brisk wal
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-08-31

those who had been hurt"
The news of the disaster spread
rapidly, and before dark hundreds
of persons were on the scene, many
of whom remained through the
night The bodies were taken in
charge by Undertaken Crnsln, OF
Still Pond. They will all be sent
to Baltimore.
WHEELING, w. VA, Aug. o.
A partial tonr of the interior of the
country along the line of the flood
of yesterday shows that previous
estimates of the damage and loss
were not exaggerated. No descrip-
ton can do justice to the havoc
wrought along the line of the
Wheeling and Pittsburg Division
of the Baltimore aud OHIO Rail-
road, between Wheeling and West
Alexander, Pa, up the valley of
"Blg" Wheeling creek, from Elm
Grove southeast through Marshall
county, Va, and on into Green and
Washington counties, Pennsylvan-
ia. Everything in the line of the
flood has been swept away. If
there has been any loss OF lite, it
was not up this valley OF "Big"
Wheeling creek. Your correspon-
dent made q persistent effort to
penetrate into this valley to-day,
but the bridges are down and the
creek Is still too high to be forded.
No one has come down the valley
to Elm Grove, and the situation for
20 miles above the grove can only
be conjectured. From what can be
Judged OF the volume of water com.
Ing past the Grove, it being much
larger than In the food of July l,
and from the further fact that artl-
cles of household furniture were
seen going past the destruction
must have been great. An mex
plicable feature of the flood com
ing out of "Big' Wheeling creek
into the main creek at Elm Grove
was that after rushing a height Of
several feet above the July flood it
fell two feet or more, and then sud
denly, at s last night, began to rise
rapidly again. and at midnight last
night was higher than ever, run
ming thus until morning. This In
dicates @ tremendous fall OF rain
All the little towns along the
creek valley on the line of the b
and .. present sorry spectacles to
day of shattered and ruined houses
flooded fields and gardens, anC
roads and streets numbered will
great piles of drift, while in some
places the old National pike ii
buried beneath a foot or two o
slime and mud or washed out il
great gaps.
Triadelphia is little else than
wreck, and Elm Grove is not mucl
better. At Triadelphla three rail
road bridges aud the county bridge
are gone, and there is a washou
of 300 yards in the B. aud o. roat
bed. At Roney's Point a big fiji
on the railroad is washed out, ant
at Leatherwood a high embank
ment on the railroad Will nave U
be practically rebuilt. 1t will, per
haps, be ten days before the line !
reopened.
This city has been PRACTICAL,
without railroad communication al
day. The only water source on tn
south side is that pumped throngI
hose by fire engines. The Yves
Virginia Natural Gas lines will no
be repaired for two weeks. Th
city will probably issue $4,000
of bonds to help to straighte
things out.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-08-31
PATENTS

obtained for new inventions, or for i'm
provements in old ones, Caveats Infringe
ments, Trade Marks and all patent busi
ness promptly attended to.
INVENTIONS THAT HAVE BEEN
REJECTED'may still. in most cases, be
patented by us. Being opposite the U. ,.
Patent Office and, engaged Ia Patent
business exclusively, we can secure pat
ents in less time than those who are 70.
mote from Washington.
When inventors send model or sketeh
we make search in the Patent Ohice, ana
advise as to its patentability, free sf
charge. Correspondence coshdentiai
fees reasonable, aud no charge unless
patent is obtained.
We refer by permission to the Cit,
Postmaster, and to the Superintendent Of
the Post Office Meney Order Division In
Washington. For special references
circular, advice, terms, &C., address
C. A. SNOW & CO,
Opposite Paent Office Washington. DIG
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-08-31

Mill Rewarded are those who read
R1nnlV this and then act they viii
llIUiIl find honorable employment
~~~J that will not take them from
their homes and families. The profits are
large and sure for every industrious per
son, many have made and are now making
several hundred month. 1t is easy for
anyone TO make S and upwards per day,
who is willing to work. Either sex, young
or old ; capital not needed We start yOn.
Everything new. No special ability re-
quired you, reader, can do it as we'll as
any one. Write to us at once for full par
ticulsrs, which we mail free. Address
Stinson g. Co. Portland. Maine.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-08-31
nR. IT. II. IRWIN,
~ PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON
WOODSTOCK, VA.

Having permanently located IT. Wood
stock. offers his professional services to
the citizens Of the town and vicinity.
DIR. h. II. Irwin Is graduate of
College Of Physicians and Sorgeons; late
resilient physician at Mary land General
Hospital, Baltimore, and Physician Ex.
Int. Msternate Hospital
Dec. 23-tf.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-08-31

Il guess we have so many things
to learn at our schools that we don't
have any room to understand
them said a little girl, pathetically'
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-08-31
DR A. MARTIN,
SURGEON GA DENTIST,

Respectfully informs the public that
he has resumed the practice of his pro-
sssion orders left. at the store OF Z. j:
Fravel, in Woodstock. wllireceive pro-
mpt attention
May "a, 'si-tf.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-08-31

RoBT. !. WALKER. JNO. L. KELLER
NTALKER e KELLER,
w ATTORNEYS-AT-L
WoODsIocK, VIRGINIA.
~ Office on Court Street.
One member Of the firm will be in Mt.
jackson from o'clock Thursday after
noon, until Saturday night of each week,
Office over Irwin's Drug Store.
MAY 's4-tf:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-08-31
THE TORNADO.
Fearful Work in Maryland and West
Virginia.
THE STILL POND HORROR-THb
GREAT HAVOC WRO GIT IN
AND AROUND WHEELING.

AS soon as the news OF the dls'
aster at Still Pond was received IN
this city the Sun chartered the tug
Maggie j. Jory, Capt. Orr, who,
with a reporter, left the city at
$3.50 O'Clock yesterday morning and
followed in the wake of the lorna
do. The first stop was made at
POOLS Island, over which 1t was
thought the water-spout h d
passed.
The Washington critic., 1888-03-03
MY SNOW IMAGE.

! raised an image when the snow lay white
An image fair, with eyes that sparkled bright,
And form that shone serenely through the
night.
The frost was bitter and the tempest blew
SO keen, II, pierced the forest through and
through;
Yet still my figure stood and stronger grew.
At last the breeze blew mild, and sunlight
When To- looked my image fair was
gone
Dead ashes for It's feet, It's heart stone.
o, sorrow, was thy lesson told IN vainY
Methought that N built from care and pain
An image bright some glory would remain.
Ere long the year to riper funess grew;
Glad swallows through the sunny copses
And where the image stood bright daisies
blew,
All gone the icy stiffness and the snow;
wandered through the dewy meads and 10
Like thawing streams ! felt my lfeblood
How.
o, snowy image, did sigh for theef
The May-blooms hung IN garlands from the
And golden kingcups dappled hill and lea.
No more of ice my handiwork shall rise,
But w9aYed OF sunny light from earth and
skies,
And geanings gathered in by grateful eyes.
No more of cold contentment or despair.
But steadfast Hope whose breath shall be a
And Love, whose Hight shall show that life is
fair, ...
-lchambers's Journal.