The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1888-05-24

on q lengthy TRADE upon the agfarlan OUT
RACES in ireland, the banging began again with
renewed fury.
What on earth could the old fellow be doing, I
wondered wretchedly, as the unmistalable crash
of broken glass or crockery Tor both) sounded
overhead. There was no saying what he might
do; for Mr.. Carper, when aroused, was nothing
less than a mailman, and he was evidently
reused now.
Good heavens boy, what is that noise ~
exclaimed my uncle, starting from his chair.
"What noise uncle?" / said, with a CHASTITY
smile. You are nervous tonight fear"
Nervous! Listen to that, and that, and
that? he continued fiercely. Have you a
lunatic or a wild beast concealed in your house,
sir ?"
listened hypocritically for few moments,
1" l certainly DO hear sounds" l said then, in
doubtful tones by this time the noise was
enough to waken the dead)
Sounds! Why you must be deaf or an idiot,
sir. It's pandemonium, | tell you-nOthing
less"
My dear uncle" replied gently, compose
yourself. Those-er-s0unds are, [ regret to
say, of frequent occurrence. When the wind
is high, as it is tonight the noise is positively
deafening." Ut certainly was.) -" viii go mp
after dinner and fasten the skyllghts IN the
attics They have been left open, probably.
The house is said to be haunted; but that is all
nonsense, of course"
Haunted" repeated my uncle, glancing
over his shoulder neryously. Haunted! That
is very unpleasant! II never knew that"
Nor" | returned in careless tones. " We
certainly hear some most unaccountable noises.
But one gets accustomed to them in time DO
have some more claret."
Though l spoke thus calmly, was inwardly
consumed with rage and modification and
shame. However, there was no help for it. /
must keep it up now at all events; and by
and by that maniac upstairs would surely, in
the course Of nature, tire himself out | sim
ply could not 20 and tell him any more lies.
Things must take their course, l resolved des-
perately.
You were speaking of the Irish question"
I observed, in courteous tones making myself
heard as well as / could amid the appalling row
Overhead) " / quite agree with you that some
thing will have to be done" {" By JoveI" I
calculated mentally, " something will have to
be done, or my wife's uncle will be through the
ceiling on to the dining-table!")
Uncle Simon helped himself to claret and
glanced upward.
lit seems to be in the room above" he
said, in he'll less, irrtated kind of way
ooh, it is sometimes in one part of the house,
sometimes in another" / answered carelessly.
"The curious thing is that have known weeks
to pass without our hearing any peculiar noises
at all. You were not disturbed during your
last visit, if l remember rightly. But pardon
me, you were speaking of Mr. Gladstones
policy in regard to Ireland, were you not?"
"Ah, yes, yes! 1t is atrocious! The man is
becoming unbearable!" resumed my uncle
testify (alluding of course, to Mr.. Gladstone,
and not TO the concealed enemy up-stairs) 1t
is-but bless my SOUL boy, will that noise go on
all night"
Here a terrific crash followed by piercing
yell, so startled poor Uncle Simon that he
to I, .f.-
spilled his wine all over the table-cloth
I'VE will 90 into the other ROOM" / said,
seeing that the poor old fellow was as white as
a sheet. We shall not be so disturbed there y
We accordingly went into the drawing
where we found Ella playing merry jigs and
reels upon the piano The noise upstairs had
abruptly ceased.
Attera game or two at cribbage, in which cut
but sorry figure, l suggested, backed up by
Ella, that my uncle looked very tired and
alluded to his projected early start in the morn
ing. He agreed that he was tired; and after a
couple of stiff glasses Of brandy and water he
went to bed.
An ominous silence meanwhile prevailed in
the pink room.
When we were alone I turned to Ella and
said IN voice of suppressed fury
Well Madam, may / ask what you propose
| doing now? | swear this is the last time
shall have anything to do with such COMPOUNDED
tonliooleFy / never felt so contemplate in my
/ life. Your uncle and mine may leave their
money to the Irish Land League or to the
devil for all / care" | continued pacing UT
and down the room in towering passion. 81
refuse TO take part any longer in your mean
deceitiul practices"
This was distinctly unjust of course, as well
| as rude; and Ella fired up at once saying thai
it was as much my fault as hers, etc.
" Hold yOnr tongue Madam ~ / fhunderpd
goaded past endurance.
Here there was an extraordinary, inexplica
bic, muffied kind Of noise from the direction q
the pink room. L seized candle and we rushed
up stairs.
q hope and trust he may not have had :
fit of apopexy," / muttered between my sci
teeth, as we reached the door. All was silent
Where is the keyf" / said shortly. Blu
| Ella hcsiCated.
Uncle" she said timidly, through the key
| hole we have found an old key that we think
viii open the door. The Iocksmith did no
come"
listened, appalled,, to this glib perversion o.
( the truth, and wondered if it had ever beer
/ practiced upon me. Still, all was tilent
The room is quite dark, Charlie" said my
/ wife nervously, as she proceeded to ft the key
/ into the lock.
In another moment the door was open, and
/ gust Of wind almost extinguished my candle
held it aloft with a whistle of dismay; fol
| what a scene met our eyes The room wa:
/ strewn with manned and disfgured furniture
| the mirror was cracked right across; the crock
cry was smashed, and the lower half of tht
/ window appeared to have entirely vanished
/ And oh, horrorl the pale pink window curtains
the bed curtains, the covers Of the chairs, were
| stained here and there with deep crimson
| But where was Uncle Gregory?
| lie had disappeared. The room was empty
Ella, after Mortified glance around, uttered
series OF piercing screams
Hush!" l exclaimed, Selling her arm vi
ciously. Have you lost your senses2 You
will wake Uncle Simon"
But she sobbed and cried, and declared hys,
| terically that Uncle Gregory was dead, and
that it was all my fault | indignantly pointed
out the glaring injustice of this remark, and
in desperation, had probably taken a Iona
drop" from the window. Il hope you are
| pleased with the result of your plan, Mrs Dan.
Vers," ] went on, with cutting sarcasm {" II
has certainly been a most brilliant success-gC
far. OF all the"
! was interrupted by the sound Of door
opening along the passage, and the next mo
| ment Uncle Simon, IN an exceedingly airy
costume and carrying candle in danger
ously- horizontal position, appeared before our
astonishcd gaze. Il had always suspected that
my uncle wore a wig Now had ocular dem.
/ onstraton. His head was as bald as an eggl
Bless my soul!" he gasped, with chatterinl
! teeth, letting the candle run down on our new
/ Kidderminster, S this is a most CHASTITY house
/ refuse to go to bed again, Charlie" he con.
| tinued, eXctedly. L shall sit up all night
| My nerves are quite unstrung."