The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1888-05-26
THE MODERN OFFIcE-BOY.
-. ReIns of Transcendent Importance and
Unmitisated Gall.

peI,r of Transcendent Importance and
Unmitisated Gall.
4 Can it be that this pachyderm, this
staggering hobblcdehoy, this pestilen-
t;al noisy nuisance, is the same boy
who few months back, camo into the
IAofice a sensitive, bashful, quiet and
nnobstrusive creature? Yes, he is the
same in one sense, but in another he
is an entirely different parsonage.
In the early days of his sojourn
among us, he used to doff his hat ere
he entered the door; he never spoke
unless spoken to, and when he was adj
dressed he blushed like the red, red
rose, and and answered with fear and
trembling, although he never forgot his
Eyes, SIR" and his mo, sir" In
word, he was all that an office-boy
should be.
But how is he nowP Quite the re-
verse. When he now comes in, it is
in breezy, boisterous manner, with
his hat reposing jauntily on one ear,
and he would be whistling were it not
for the cigarette which parts his lips
and prevents their pickering. He is
sffability itself, and he greets all alike
with an easy, devil-may-care indiffer-
ence that is really charming. He makes
no invidious distinction against the
'tN1srEo of mature years, but addresses
a.s,A with the same sang froid and
sprightliness that is accorded to those
Of tender years.
His voice is seldom still Indeed, it
is generally held that it goes on, like
TennYson's brook, forever. 1t is never
dull where he is. He can Cat least. he
does) talk on any subject, and he never
waits for others to start topics for con-
versation. He inevitably takes the in
itiative, and whatever subject he conde-
scends to treat, he approaches it with
an easy confidence that is most engag-
ing, and he is never floored by it, how
ever potential it may be in the opinion
of people who have been made cautious
by the weight of years.
And then his conversation is so inspir-
ing? 1t is made up of the most re-
cherche slang; it contains the very
latest echoes from the prize ring and
the base ball field, and it discovers q
familiarity with the esoteric life of the
atrical people which is wonderful in its
comprchensiveness, as well as in its
freedom in the matter of detail.
He naturally looks down upon the
people in the office, although he tries
to hide his contempt-remembering no
doubt, that if he shall be spared, he will
probably become as big fool as the av-
erage human being of mature years
and by his easy familiarity and touch
and-go affability he succeeds-or ought
to succeed-in making everybody feel
comfortable and contented.
And then his personal relations arc
so interesting! He covers up nothing,
but freely tells to all the story of his adj
ventures of the previous evening, to-
,ether with full particulars in regard
i tsuch engrossing matters as the num-
br of cigarettes he has burned within
he last twenty-four hours, and the
4 Quantity of tobacco he has masticated,
4 and he never fails to mention, with be-
coming pride, that glass of beer which
he tossed off last night, with manly
nonchalance, in some third-rate base
ment saloon. He is, in short, SO frank
and ingenious that, but for the fact
that such a thought were treason to his
Astounding good nature, one might sus'
pect that he told these things merely
out of a spirit of boastfulness, or with
a desire to instil envy in the hearts Of
his auditors; but clearly this can not be-
1t is, on the contrary, from q wish tc
improve others and instruct them in
the ways of the gay world that he take.
SO much pains to detail his achieve
ments.
And this is all the more kind in hin
because of the fact that the burden O
the affairs of the Office weigh upon hin
with unfair heaviness, for it is known
to him, even though it be unsupported
by the others, that without his intrusive
oversight nothing could go rightly, oil
indeed 90 at all. But spite of the cares
which press upon him so weightily, hi
still finds time to instruct and give
counsel to those who, being older thar
he, have presumably forgotten all they
ever knew; admitting that they evel
did know any thing.
The office boy, as he now is, is, il
brief, a rare blessing, and when on
reflects upon what he was, and see
how he has developed, one can not b
too thankful for the privilege of as
sociating with being of such tran
scendent Importance. The only fea
that presses upon the mind is that h
may be cut off in the flower of hi
y youth, or grow too big for his unmen
1Stionables.
But he is daisy. Boston Transcript
Five Ways to Cure Cold.
Rattle the feet in hot water, ant