The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-29
BRIGHT BITS

~ moose is good news, as the convicted man
SAID when informed that instead of being
hanged he would probly be killed by electricity.
Teas SJtings.
ECONOMY is wealth but it is mighty hard for
eilew 10 make himself believe that he Is
wealthy just because he has to practice ecOno-
iny.-S0RaeTUtIIe journal.
FRS all very well, " said the grave-digger, ito
a1v s. young man to begin at the BOTTOM and
work up but in my business it ism practicable.
illustrated Pdc fc States.
TEE EDITORS DRAWER culls en- interesting bit
of biographical information from the eXamina-
tlon paper OF small Boy who wrote: "Abra-
ham Lincoln was born in Kentucky in 1892 at
the age of seven years. '-Hd p sJ'S Magazine.
Poor OLD Boston is at the mercy of big
beef trust, but she dosent mind it much. But
once let the unprincpled Spectators try to
form bean trust and the row which began at
L xington will be fought all over again.-Ptiia-
lelphsG Press.
TH1 meanest man up to date is Snfkins He
sold Jones a half interest in COW, and then
refused to divide the milk, maintaining that
Jones owned the front half. The COW hooked
| 5nfkins and now Snifkins is suing Jones for
[ 1amages.-Itme
PARsoN-I am astonished, sir, to hear a man
with three married daughters say that mar
rage is failure
Citizen-Well, sir. when you have three ami
les besides your own to support you will learn
49, marriage is positive bankruptcy. 49, LoiceU
Citizen.
Two vAsRANrs called OF kind lady in the
suburbs of New York. TO which of you two
shall give this nckel?' she asked
First tramp-Give it to him. madam. He has
purchased the route from ME, and | am lust
'aking him around to Introduce him TO tn Gus
tomers-Terds Sifin9S.
.iEFF IA railroad passenger)-I say. Glenn. WIN
what am DE- ak an saw hangln' up dar fo'?
Clem-When yo arsk foolish questions JEFF
don't shout SOS you kin be heered all d. way
rom de cowketcher to de larst station. Dey's
o cuttin' railroad san wiches. Use 'sprised al
so ignorance. -Aeic York sun.
FIrrz PoPP lin lunch rooml-Win you favah
me ah-with a small portion of-ah- angel
cake-and -ah-seasou with lettle pep lah
and salt and-ah-a smile from your betty
face?
Waitress Certainly, il you think you hav.
efficient strength 10 eat it without the aid OF
| bottle and tube.-Eccha,t9e.
Mr. HoyFNAS HowEs-What's the matter,
| dowy; you fOoK Distressed.
Mr.. Howell Gibbon- Distwessed? Tim in de
pair; the beautiful Miss Footlights is married
| Just think of it, after all the money We
Mr.. Hoffman Howes-'Sh. Don't cut up SO
| awfu1y, deah bow She's married an actaw We
| know. Just wait six months or wear until
| they need divorce aivertisement.-Puck.
| HoRRrFIED AUNT-Why. Mandy you'll catch
| your death OF cold if you wear that dress. Re
| member, you're not at the seaside now. The
| seasons over.
andy (camly)-I know it auntie and I'm %
| the first day of next January. This is the first
| time Mr.. Mcclellan has asked me out for a
! drive. There's only thTee.months left of 1898.
1 and I'm not taking any chances this year,
| auntie.-Chicd0o Tribune.
| OLD MAN from the head of the stairs. harshly,
| Hasn't that young Teller gone yet, Clara?
| Clara No, papa, he's in serious quandary.
| He forgot to deposit $4,000 in the bank this
afternoon, and is nervous about carrying il with
| him so late at night.
| Old man lin a softer tone)-Tell him to wait q
| minute and I'll be down He can put 1t in my
| safe until morning. And you'd better bring IN
| half dozen bottles of beer from the cellar -
| Epoch
Miss VIRGINIA TONE. the heiress-Mr Flicus,
| | am utterly astonished, not to say shocked al
| your proposal. The idea of my marrying YOU
| is the most deliciously absurd thing have
| heard Perhaps you are not aware that be
| long to the +. F. VS.?
Mr. Flicus The five foolish virgins? I was
| aware, Miss Virginia. that you had passed the
period of gddy girlhood, but had no idea that
| you dated so far back as that.-Terre Hdute
Express.