Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-10-17
Mr.. and Mrs. Bowser.


husbands he is bit selfish and incon-
sistent. When he came home one day
last week and found me sick abed
with swapping headache, he appear.
ed both surprised and indignant.
"What, you sick !" he shouted, just
as if the female sex were made of
cast iron. tt
"I-Tve got headache, Mr.. Bowser."
"Oh, you havei In order to upset
the house you have headache. Very
kind of you. was going over to
Green's tonight to have game of
cards, but this headache comes just in
time"
"Can l help p
"Of course you can. Take proper
care of yourself and you'll never have
a headache. Look at me Mrs. Bows
err"
"You may have one some day"
ayes, / may. Some day l may fill
my stomach with candy, lemonade,
green apples, raw turnips, ginger ale,
caramels and watermelons, and next
day shall probably have headache.
1t is wonder that any of you wom-
en- live to be 80 years DID,"
He went banging around the house
without thought of me, and after
supper he came up stairs to say:
Being as you have deliberately
gone to work to bring on headache
upon yourself, and being as you had
rather be quiet this evening, | think
I'll run down and fix up that matter
with Davis"
Il have an awful headache"
Certainly, but am ] to blame ?
Did l advise you to eat caramels and
turnips ?"
ut will be lonesome for me-"
"Bosh Here's the baby and hired
girl. Mrs. Bowser. you are getting
to be very silly, selfish woman. l
wish you would have little more
dignity"
He soon went away, whistling as
he clattered down the front steps, and
was abed and asleep when he came
home. Morning brought me cool
head, and Mr.. Bowser took occasion
to remark
"Don't make an idiot of yourself
again. A woman of your age ought
to have some sense. Suppose had
hung over you and shed tears and pit
led you last night? That headache
would probably have terminated in a
fever"
| think Providence has an eye on
some husbands. l verify believe that
Providence picked up Mr.. Bowser's
trail as soon as he left the house and
began to plan for revenge. He SEEM
ed little "off" when he came up to
dinner, and half an hour before his
regular time for supper he came home
with his lip hanging down.
"Well, what is it?" ] queried.
"This change of weather has affect
ed me-" H fe T
mo! Has there been change /; is
il serious, Mr.. Bowser -
"An awful, awful headache"
us that all {? you startled me for
moment. A headache, eh Well,
you shouldn't be SO careless"
who's been careless p he shouted
putting up his hand at the same time
to see il the top of his head was real
ly loose"
"I'm afraid you have. Soda wat
er, mint juleps, strong cigars, lager
beer and loss of sleep last night have
upset you. A man of your age ought
to know better. Do you think your
stomach is dumping scow, Mr.. Bow
seri"
He staggered over and fell upon
the lounge with groan. / picked
up baby and galloped twice around
the sitting room, singing and laugh
ing, when Mr.. Bowser rose up and
yelled:
Great cats ! but are you insane !?
Didn't say | had an awful he&d-
ache ?"
eyes, but you mustn't upset the
whole house on that account Mrs.
jackson WAS over to invite US to come
in this evening and play whist,
and ]. told her we'd come"
whist, Mrs Bowser, do you know
that am awful sick ?"
"Bosh Only headache Look
at me, Mr.. Bowserl'
He groaned HFs- 'rlar
ats wonder that any of you men
live to be 30 years old. I'd like to
see man--just one single specimen
who knew how to take care of him
self" fj
Wont you--you get II wet cloth
and put on my head p he entreated.
Eyes, l suppose III have to, but
don't let this happen again, Mr.. Bow
ser. You must have known when you
we're filling your stomach with that
trash what the result would be-"