Smyrna times., 1888-05-09
Concerning Mr.. BoWser,
THE ADVANTAGE OF LOVE LETTERS IN
BRINGING A HUSBAND TO TIME.

My dear child" said an old aunt of
mine the day | was married, have
you got all your husbands love let
ters?''
"Of course"
And now that you are married you
will probably burn 'em ?"
do?'' ''9 "
Well, don't Keep 'em the longest
day you live"
But why ?'
Because they will be stronger
weapons than all your tears, pleadings
or argume ntS. Nothing will bring
/ husband to time like a sight of some
love letters he wrote before marriage"
took her advice, and have always
been glad l did. On several occasions
l have used IT, EN- to ring Mr.. BOwser
down off his high horse, and the fact
that they bother his peace of mind is
proved by the other fact that he has
several times hunted the house over in
my absence in hopes to lay his hands
on them.
Something went wrong at the office
the other day and he came home can
tankerous. He held in until we got
to the supper table, and then broke out
with:
Got any name for these things
here ?"
Yes, dear. Those are called bis
cults"
Well, the man who calls them fit
TO eat ought to be shot! Mrs. BOwser,
why Is 1t l can never get anything de-
cent to eat in my own house ?"
" Why, Mr.. Bowserl No one could
take more pains than we do. In order
that the biscuit might be extra good
went out and made them myself"
Humph !"
There was a time, Mr.. Bowser,
when you raved over my cooking.
Never ! knew from the day I set
eyes on you wading across a mud
puddle that you could never cook.
You can sing very well-as well as
some bad actresses but you can't
cook"
" And if will prove that YOU once
hungered for my cooking YOU will"
" l will give you fifty dollars cash in
hand"
After supper l went up stairs and
BOWser had got his nose into a maya
zIne and wanted the matter dropped,
but read him the following extract
" And thought, darling, while eat
ing supper, that night, how proud l
should be over your delicate cookery
when we had a home of our own. The
thought of those biscuits alone makes
me ehungry-Good-bye, my pet"
" Who wrote that?" sternly demand
ed Mr.. BoWser.
You did"
When ?"
Three months before our mar
riage."
4" Never"
I" But here's the letter, dated and
signed"
"It is base forgery, and the forger
must beware . How could l have
praised your cooking ?"
You also used to praise my sing
ing, Mr. Bowser."
Never"
Oh, but you did. Let me read -
" And, precious pet Of mine, let me
again thank you for that beautiful
song, The Lovers Farewell and the
exquisite manner in which you render
ed it. 1t drew tears from nv ewes.
and | was not ashamed Of them. You
have one of the purest, clearest voices
l ever heard"
" Who wrote that?" he gasped.
You did"
" Mrs. Bowser, don't carry this too
far There is a limit beyond which
you must not 90. Do YOU suppose I
will stand such insults in my own
house?' he shouted. as he sprang up.
" Are facts and truths insults? |
have been reading from your letters"
Never! Never! If | ever wrote
such stuff was crazy"
But mere is your signature. You
remember you used to want me to sign
my letters Rosebud and you signed
yours Oak Leaf"
l never did No power on earth
could convince me that was ever any
such fool as that"
" Well, perhaps you will remember
this sentence. You wrote it a few
months before our marriage. Listen
Oh, my Rosebud but the heart of
Oak Leaf was made a thousand times
lighter by the receipt of your loving
note yesterday. Ifthose delicious lit
tie missives should cease coming
should pine and die"
Aud you claim l wrote that?" he
asked in a strange voice.
or course. You can't go back on
your own writing, can you ?'
You assert that those are my let
ters do you ?"
Certainly
" And that called you fond names
and wanted to die for you p'
That's about the size of it, Mr.. |
BOwser. You wrote me several times |
that you were as much my slave as if
| had bought you. think you'd have |
jumped into well any time 1 asked |
you",
Mr.. BOwserput on his overcoat and |
hat, drew, on his gloves and then kiss
ed the baby and said:
" Goodbye, darling! If you never
see papa again remember that he loved |
you"
He went off without so much as a |
look at me, but about midnight came |
home very softly and crept into bed,
and next day went on his usual hunt |