davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-12-01
AN IMPROVED METHOD.

The train had just "pulled out" of Louisville
when the conductor entered the car in which had
taken a seat. just as he opened the door, he
stopped and exclaimed:
'The very first one!"
Then he stepped up to a drunken man who,
asleep on a seat, was snoring loudly.
"Here Shaking him), give me your ticket Come
now (shaking him vigorously, give me your
ticket, or I will put you off,"
The fellow, an enormous specimen of Kentucky's
physical greatness, did not open his eyes, but after
fumbling in his pocket drew out a twist of long
green tobacco and held 1t up.
"Here, don't want your tobacco. l want your
ticket or your fare. Look here, l am not going to
fool with you much longer"
The fellow continued to snore "I'll have to
resort to it," said the conductor He took a phial
from q small side-pocket, and, uncorking 1t, held
the phial under the fellows nose. Within second
he was on his feet, wide awake and snorting like an
excited horse
"What do you want2" ne exclaimed, glaring at
the conductor.
al want your ticket"
"Here, take it. Say what was that you iolted
me WITH I'll be dinged eff didn't think my head
was gone. Cap'n, you may have any thing Pve got,
but fur the love nv Moses don't jolt me thater way
agin.n
When the conductor had gone through the train
and returned, asked him what was 1t that he had
held under the fellows nose.
"Ammonia" he replied. al hate 10 resort TO Il,
but 1t Ii the only thing that viii work. Six
months ago 1t was impossible to collect fare on this
road. Sometimes Ut least one-third Of the passen-
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-12-01
GOOD PROSPECTS.

a Kentucky schooltescher called patron.
"Uncle Billy" said the teacher 81 don't think 1t
is worth while for you to send your SON Tom to
school"
"Why2"
|'Weil, ne can't learn anything. He studies as
hard a. anybody in school, but he Is totally inca
pable Of seizing an idea"
"Good ~ the old fellow Exclaimed.
The teacher looked at him in amusement. att is
not q matter of congratulation," said he "Your
son win never be anything bat Ounce"
Yes, and therefore am rejoiced. You see, he
can make good living writing tariff articles for
the magazines."
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-12-01

gers would be drunk and asleep. IL 10 hard TO NIL
up Q Kentuckian, but when he Is filed up he Is
helplessly drunk, and, when he drops Off TO sleep,
which he Is sure to do, II Is impossible TO awake
him by the old fashionable method of shaking
Now, the company provides each conductor with a
bottle of ammonia, and It Is q common thing
to see conductor going through train with q
ticket punch in one hand and with bottle of
ammonia in the other. Shortly after the ammonia
system was adopted by the board of directors, l
had for passengers night, forty members of the
legislature, and before got to them, they were all
asleep. l exhausted the old method-here Is our
card of Instructions Read this paragraph"
He handed me a printed card. l read the fol-
lowing
"'Before using the ammonia bottle, conductors
must do all within to arouse the passengers
PAssengers are requested to report any neglect of
this rule
"Well, sir" the conductor continued, al could
not arouse a single one of those legislators so
hauled out my bottle. l never did see tickets come
out fast, and men who had failed to procure
tickets were actually eager to pay their fare The
speaker of the house was the last that shifted
the bottle. After he had paid his fare he took me
to one side and said:
"'Must have been hid out during the war
"'What do you mean?' asked. What must
have been hid out?
THAT Ticker you hip under my nose he re-
piled.
"'That was not licker.'
= CHOW, here cap'n don't try 10 fool me. 1t was
Ticker, and ticker of the right Sort too. Let me
try it,
al couldn't get out of it, 30 handed him the
bottle. He took a drink, wiped his mouth, and
said Little raw, but it'll do in pinch
"Who first introduced the ammonia SYSTEM"
asked
can inventive little fellow from Connecticut"
the conductor answered. "After making his first
trip as q conductor, he swore that he would rig up
something to do away with so much shaking, and
he did"
ais he still conductor" inquired.
"Bless you, no. The revenue CT the road grew
so in consequence of his method that he was taken
into the general Office He Is now the assistant
superintendent."-O p. Read.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-12-01
HE WOULD PREACH.

Several nights ago, Henry Watterson and num-
Der of friends were sitting in the reception room"
of Macauey's theatre, in Louisville when the sub
ject of cain in Lite" came up for discussion.
al do not suppose" said WattersOn, "that anyone
would accuse me with being avaricious, but let me
tell you that the truest aim in life is to make
money"
"You surely do not mean" Macauley answered,
"that you would give up your editorial career in
favor of one more remunerative?"
Eyes, do"
would you preach for a better salary than the
Courier Journal pays your"
"Most assuredly. Why, sir, If l were called to
Plymouth church ut Q salary Of fifteen thousand
dollars per annum 1 would 60 and preach and,
let me tell you one thing, boys, would preach
like h-n1
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-12-01

The editor of O Newspaper wrote to one of his
leading contributors, saying: "Please send me
something pathetic for next Sundays issue" BY
return mali the editor received photograph of
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1888-07-19
lie was on.


A dozen linemen were busy for two
hours yesterday raising a telegraph
pole on Seventh street. When they
began digging the hole an old chap
came along and inquired "Going to
raise pole, eh?'
eyes"
"Guess III take it in. allus did
believe in opening the campaign ear.
ly."
He sat down on step until the
pole was up, and then, as some OF the
men were going away, he asked
"Isn't there going to be any speech
esq"
ave don't generally have any," re-
piled the man, "but you can make one
if you wish"
"Wouldn't it be putting myself for,
ward%
ooh, no."
"NobOdy engaged, eh?"
"No one"
"Say, you" he continued as he
squinted alolt, (Which party is it?"
"The telegraph party"
"Oh, shucksl Somebody move we
adjourn for don't vote that ticketw
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1888-07-19
rOUND RY ACCInENr.

BALTIMORE Nh, January 2sth, 1851 have
been sufferer for six years with Catarrh, tn
cerated Sore Throat and Rheumatism of the
Chest from Blood Poison. About four weeks
ago was passing the Botanic Blood Balm store,
No. North street, Baltimore. | went in and
consulted your agent about my case. He gave
me one OF your b. B. B, 'Bools of Wonders, f"
which | read ] called In few days afterwards
and got bottle ofyour Botanic Blood Balm-B.
b. b. | am now on third bottle and will say
that have felt marked improvement since the
third day after commencing to use your medl-
cine. Inow have no trouble from my throat,
and have improved so much in every way that
am satisfied that by the use of your medicine
/ will soon be all right,
have taken many and some good prescrip.
lions and medicines for this trouble, but think
your B. b, b. the best remedy have had and ]
eheerfully recommend your "Bontanic Blood
Balm to the public as the quickest and best
Blood remedy have found, after six long years
of search for health. Very Respectfully,
JOSEPH w. FLOWERS
DO SlpmmorS Alley
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1888-07-19
Notes.

Say what people may, the puffed
sleeves on thin Summer dresses are a
failure.
Spider-leg style of penmanship no
longer Contains" among the fashion,
able elect,
Rugs made Of mating have reached
quite an artistic pitch, and are to be
admired by all visitors.
Lawn racks to hold anything from q
tennis racket to garden hat, are
something new for the grass.
1t is the proper thing to have light
ed Chinese lanterns on the piazza Of q
country house at night.
The extremely low cut OF the waist
coat is too "Miss Nancyish" and eff
Terminate for those we call the manly
men.
1t is quite a caprice for the girls o
the period to wear the colOrs OF hel
iavorite college fastened to some par
of her gown.
Wicker, zinc-lined hampers are tax
ing the place Of trunks with many
ladies, but are not Joy unto the bag
gage-smasher.
The high black hat will prevail a
Newport for all ceremonious occasions
and always at night in connection
with dress suit.
Tiny Mikado fans, made of paper
are worn in the hair by young girl
who have not been released iron
school great while.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1888-07-19

You are feeling depressed, your APP
petite is poor, you are bothered with
Headache, you are fidgetty, nervous,
and generally out of sorts, and want
to brace up. Brace up, but not with
stimulants, spring medicines, or bit
tiers, which have for their basis very
cheap, bad whisky, and which stimu-
late you for an hour, then leave you
in worse condition than before.
What yau want is an Alternative that
will purify your blood, start healthy
action OF Liver and Kidneys, restore
your vitality, and give renewed health
and strength. Such a medicine you
will find in Electric Bitters, and only
so cents bottle at McFerrin's Drug
Store.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1888-07-19
Things Worth Remembering.

Clean piano keys with a soft rag
dipped in alcohol.
To remove lime from an iron pot
wash in strong vinegar.
Egg stains en- silver can be taken off
with table salt and a wet rag
When dress silk becomes wet pat it
between the hands to dry quickly.
To clean straw mating, boil three
quarts OF bran in one gallon Of water,
drying it well.
If ribbons need renewing wash them
in cool suds, made of soap, and iron
when damp. Cover with a clean cloth
and lion over it.
Trim and fill the lamps in the
morning, or you may add to the tale
of accidents, as the unwise virgins
whose lamps were not ready when
wanted.
Ii you wish to keep sharp knife
don't put it in hot grease; stir your
potatoes while frying or turn meat
with fork or an old case knife kept
for the purpose.
II the tiatiron is dirty tie up piece
Of yellow heeswax in a rag, and when
the iron is almost but not quite hot
enough to use rub it quickly with
the wax, and then with coarse
cloth.
When using stale bread for pud-
dings always soak il in cold liquid.
Bread that has been soaked in cold
milk or water is light and crumbly,
whereas that soaked in hot liquid is
heavy.
Vegetables with strong flavor.
such as unions and tnrnips, viii be
much improved by putting them to
boil in cold water, renewing this from
kettle of boiling water as soon as il
comes TO a scald.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1888-07-19
30 slemmors Alley.


There are two usual ways of doing what Ma
ture sometimes does incOmpletely, namely, to
relieve the bowels. One is to swallow drastic
purgatlye which eyacuates profusely, abruptly
and with pain, the other is to take Hostetter's
Stomach Bitters, the effect of which is not vio-
lent, but sufficiently thorough and which does
not gripe the intestines. If the first is selected
the person employing II need not expect perma-
nent benefit, and he cannot hopet to escape the
debiliating reaction which leaves the organs as
bad or worse off than before. If on the other
hand, he resorts to the Bitters, he can rely upon
the restoration of a regular habit of body, con-
sequent upon a renewal of healthful tone in
the intestinal canal Besides BEAUTIFULLY re-
Taxing the bowels, the Bitters arouses a dor.
mant liver, imparts beneficial impetus to the
action of the kidneys, and countereaets the
early twinges of rheumatism, a tendency tOgout
and malaria in all its forms.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1888-07-19

w. F. Walton, of Springfield Tenn.
says: II have been suffering with
Neuralgia in my face and head of
and on for three years. purchased
box of DR.. Tanners Infallible Neu
ralgia Cure and took eight of the pills
l have not felt any symptoms of Neu
ralgia since. 1t gives me pleasure tC
recommend it." Sold by M. A
Mcfarland.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1888-07-19
Syrup Of Figs.

Is Natures own true laxative. 1t is
the most easily taken, and the most
effective remedy known to Cleanse
the System when Bilious or Costive
to dispel Headaches, Colds, and Fe.
vers to cure Habitual Constipation,
Indigestion, Piles, etc. Manufacture
ed only by the California Fig Syrup
Company, San Francisco, Cal. For
sale at Netherlands City Drug Store.
l9G-247.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1888-07-19
BuckIen's Arnica saIye.

The best salve in the world for Cuts,
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum,
Fever Sores, letter, Chapped Hands,
Chilbains, Corns and ali Skin Erup-
tions, and positively cures Piles, or no
pay required. 1t is guaranteed to give
perfect satisfaction, or money refund
ed. Price rs cents per box. For sale
at City Drug Store.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1888-07-19
did Won ever?

w. H. Revels, M. d., of Baltimore
Md, says: 81 have been in the prac.
tice of medicine for over eighteen
years, but never have | seen the equal
OF Hodges Sarsaparilla. 1t has
worked miracles here in curing Rheu-
matism and Scrofula. Have almost
come to the conclusion that | cannot
practice without it," Sold by NJ. A
Mcfarland.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1888-07-19
The Best Test of Success is Success.


Tested and proved by over twenty
five years use in all parts of the world
AllcoCk's Porus Plasters have the Ell.
dorsement of the highest medical and
chemical authorities, and millions Of
grateful patients who have been cured
Of distressing ailments voluntarily ties
THY to their merits.
Allcock's Porous Plasters are pure
ly vegetable. They are mild but ef
fective, sure and quick in their action
but absolutely harmless.
Beware OF limitations, and do not b,
deceived by misrepresentation.
Ask for Allcock's, and let no expla
nation or solicitation induce you t,
accept substitute.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1888-07-19

The COMET and the New York
Weekly World will be sent to any ad-
dress from now to Nov. 10 for75 cents.
Now is the time to subscribe. The
COMET will keep you posted on home
matters and the World will furnish the
news of the world.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1888-07-19
Bringing GIadne SIS.

To millions, pleasing their palates
and cleansing their system, arousing
their Livers, Kidneys, Stomachs, and
Bowels to healthy activity. Such is
the mission OF the famous California
liquid fruit remedy, Syrup of figs 219-
203
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1888-07-19
Frightful!

For eighteen years l had eczema.
During the last fife years the physi-
clan pronounced my disease chronic
psoriasis eczema. Three years ago |
was so weak and reduced that had to
go to bed, where lay helpless for six
months. At this time my feet, legs,
neck and body were much swollen.
My whole body resembled dead fish,
the scales dry, dead flesh falling from
me in thick flakes. My itching at
night during this six months was
terrible torture. Last Christmas a
year ago | went blind, and my sight
did not return for some time. This
sad plight continued right along, ex-
cept that occasionally would man
age to get day or so at time, until
last spring Colonel H. j. Lamar, met
me and gave me some S. S. S. | be-
gan taking the specific at once, and
have continued it up to now, when l
am well.
After had taken the medicine two
or three weeks l noticed change for
the better. The mending was compav-
atively slow for the first two months,
when went on improving rapidly.
To-day my skin is as clear as pliable
and as oily as ever. My pains are en-
tirely gone, and, more, | am again able
to earn my living.
At ore time | preserved the scales
that fell from my body, and they
amounted to five pounds in one week
Very respectfully,
r. N. MITCHELL.
| MACON, GA, February 8, 1871
have known R. N. Mitchell many
years. The last two years or more
: he has been charity inmate of the
, Bibb county hospital, and the facts a;
I stated by him in the above are true
and correct. S. S. HARMON.
) Sup't Bib County Hospital
5 Treatise on Blood and Skin Diseas
r es mailed free.
l THE SWIFT SPECIFIC Co., Drawer 8
: Atlanta, Ga.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1888-07-19
Told You So.

Mr., E. A, Ireland, OF Breen Phil
lips & Co., Nashville, Tenn, says: ~
was afflicted with Piles for twenty
years, and tried every remedy offer
ed me; finally used the Ethiopian
Pile Ointment. 1t gave me instant
relief, and has effected q permanent
cure" Sold by MA. Mcfarland.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1888-07-19
The DUDES KnoMIt.

0rif they don't they should know
Rangum Root Liniment cures Big
Head in mules for w. E. Hunt, of
Adairsville, KY. j. H. Mallory, OF
Forts Station, Tenn, cured his hogs
of blind staggers with it. In fact this
King of Liniments is invaluable for
man and beast, and no family should
be without it. Sold by NJ. A. McFar.
and.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1888-07-19

SHILOH'S COUGH and Consump-
ton Cure is sold by us on guarantee.
1t cures Consumption. For sale by
Mcfarland.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1888-07-19
r. N. mitchell

GROUP, WHOOPING COUGH and
Bronchitis. Immediately relieved by
Shiloh's Cure. For sale by McFar-
land
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1888-07-19

WILL YOU SUFFER with Dyspep-
STA and Liver Complain? Shiloh's
yitalizer is guaranteed 10 cure you.
For sale by NJ A. Mcfarland.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1888-07-19

Benton, Assimiboine and Glasgow consisting Of
rich mineral and coal districts, grazing and
farm lands OF the very highet quality. The on.
portunities for making money here are greater
time to go and secure your location. For rates
Maps, or other information, Address, c. II. War
rem, Gem. Pass Agent st. r. n. 4 NJ. BY, st.
Paul. MINI,
Los Angeles daily herald., 1888-08-29
Dry Bronchitis.

This disease, the very opposite OF the above,
is very common affection. Very many peo
pie who regard themselves as quite healthy are
to-day under its influence, and are slowly but
Gus complaint. This is the most insidious of
all pulmonary diseases. There may at first be
slight hacking cough, and an expectOration
of a bluishw white mucus. And herein lies the
danger. The mucus inhabiting the air cells of
the lungs, being difficult to raise, after awhile
becomes sohdified, permanently obstructing
portions OF the. lungs, causing shortness of
breath and feeling of oppression on the chest
particularly after meals or slight exertion.
After a time the cough becomes more severe
ness of breath increases it almost assumes the
character of asthma. The mucous membrane
also becomes more and more thickened, which
arises from the frequent fresh cold, and the pa
tient at last becomes aware of the terrible
changes that have taken place and the inevita-
BILE results that are sure to follow.
Inhalation is the only system which will cure
these diseases, and yet the treatment OF the two
forms are entirely different. In the one we
must allay the irritation, while IN the other we
must stimulate q healthy action.
This will convince us of the necessity of fully
understanding the system of Medicated Inhala-
tions in the treatment of the various diseases Of
the pulmonary organs, for when properly ap-
piled there is no system of medicine to be COM
pared to it.
Persons desiring treatr ent by this system of
practice can use the remedies at home as well
as at our office, and which will cause no incon-
venience or hindrance from business whatever.
have seen SO many OF these cases cured that
do not consider any case hopeless, unless both
lungs are seriously involved. Even then the
inhalations aid us in dissOlving the mucus and
in contracting and healing the cavities which
nothing can do with the same success.
The very best reference from those already
cured.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1888-08-29
Chronic Bronchitis.

Chronic Bronchitis is also an Inflammation of
the mucous membrane of bronchial tubes. But
this form more often occurs later in life. When
cold settles on the lungs the disease either
ends in bronchitis or pneum Onia. If il ends in
chest, and still the patient does not feel entire
ly well. He feels tired and languid. and is in
capable of taking bis usual amount of exercise
and experiences a shortness of breath, with
NOR or less warmth in the palms of his hands
Soon after this congh appears. accompanied
by an expectoration of thick mucus, followed
by hectic flush, loss of flesh and strength, and
night sweats continue, when the patient as
sumes all the appearance of having a genuine
case of consumption. But this is simply catarrh
of the lungs or chronic bronchitis.
In the latter stages of the disease the mucous
membrane of the larger bronchial tube softens,
while in the smaller tubes and air cells of the
lungs the mucous membrane becomes con.
gested and inf1amed. There are no cavities or
tubercles in the lungs. sut merely wasting
away of the larger bronchial tubes, and death
takes place from obstruction of the bronchial
tubes and air cells of the lungs. The patient
dies from exhaustion and suffocation, being
unable to expectorate the mucus which accu-
muates in the passage leading to the lungs,
which in some cases is sticky and small in
quantity, but more commonly copious of
light straw or yellowish green. Oftentimes
streaks of blood make their appearance in the
mucus, and at times there is a disagreeable
smell. Persons thus afflicted are very liable to
take cold, at which times the mucus becomes
clear and frothy, and it is not uncommonly the
case that the patient dies in one of these attacks
Los Angeles daily herald., 1888-08-29
BRONCHITIS.
Acute Bronchitis.

This is an inflamm alton of the Mucous Mem
brane lining the Bronchial Tubes. and is one of
the most common of all the pulmonary dis
eases. 1t is dangerous disease, as 1t prevents
the oxygenatiOn OF the blood. and in many
cases, particularly after it passes into the
chronic stage, the substance of the lungs be-
comes seriously involved, giving rise to what
is very properly called Bronchial Consumption.
or pressure across the chest, with considerable
Wheeling, severe cough and expectoration.
This is at first white glairy mucus, which
some cases is obliged to sit up in bed, the op-
preston across the chest is SO great, and the
skin is clammy and prostration rapidly sets in,
and in fatal cases there will be muttering de-
lirium, coma and death.