davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-12
Slips of the Tongue in Congress.

Washington Letter to the Scranton Republican.
The taur pas of speeches made in congress
are sometimes very amusing and afford striking
instances of -mindednesS. The repre-
sentatives are much more liable to make breaks
In the use of the English language than senators,
the house being the larger body and necessarily
more difficult place in which to collect ones
thoughts. During the WhiteLowry contest, in
the early part of the session, Mr. O'Neil of In
diana, in spread eagle speech eXtolled the
merits of the broad 8gis of the law" and
spoke of certain law as having come down
to us through the crucible of time" Mr.. Cox
of New York inquired how law could come
down through crucible, but the learned
Hoosier ignored the question. Senator
, Harris of Tennessee said in debate recently: II
make this statement in bona fide good faith "
This reminded Senator Palmer of the speech
made by colOred man in Michigan conven-
ton when he moved to adjourn sine die till II
O'Clock tomorrow morning. 1t also recalls
the motion made by Bedford of Colorado in the
house that congress adjourn sine die" OF
course the motion was followed by general
laughter Belford rubbed his eyes and said:
Il move this house do now adjourn bona fide -
At this there was a perfect uproar on the floor
of the house and in the galleries. Mr. Bedford
rose as soon as the laughter ceased and said:
Mr.. Speaker, move that we just purely and
simply adjourn" On another occasion Bedford
pointed to fellow member, and with whitening
Scorn exclaimed There he sits mute silent
and dumb" Yes" remarked a neighbor of
Belford's amid the silence which followed this
crushing arraignment, land he amt sayin' a
word That brought down the house,
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-12
Kindling a Fire by Friction.



Many things look simple and easy enough. but
are next to impossible except to persons who
have acquired a certain understandable knack bv
means of long practice. Sir S. W. Baker Thus
describes the Arabian process of kindling fire. a
process which many readers of the Compnnion
have probably tried before now without success,
The Arabs always obtained their fire bv the
friction of two pieces of wood piece of dry
nabbuclt was selected about as thick as the
little finger. notch was cut in this, and it was
laid upon the ground, with the notch upper
most; into this was fitted the sharp point Of a
similar piece of wood, about IL inches long
which, being held perpendicularly with both
hands, was worked between the palms like a
drill, With as great pressure as possible, from
the top 10 the bottom, as the hands descended
with the motion of rubbing or rolling the stick
After about two minutes of great labor the
notch began to smoke; a brown dust, like
ground coffee, fell from the singed wood. and
this charred substance. after increased friction
emitted a still denser smoke and commenced
smoldering; the fire was produced
A rag was now torn from the clothing of one
of the party, in which the fire was carefully
wrapped and famed with the breath: it was
then placed in a wisp of dry grass and rapidlv
turned in the air until the flame burst forth.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-12
BRIGHT BITS.

TEACHER Supposing that eight of you should
together have 4S apples, 32 peaches, So plums
and 10 melons, what would each of you havef
Pupils lin chorus)-The stomache-ache.-
Judge.
YOUNG WIFE-John, mother says she wants
to be cremated.
Young husband-Tell her if she will get on
her things I'll take her down this morning.
San Francisco CdU
WOMAN who has given something to eat to
tramp)-You have a very awkward way of eat
ing. man,
Tramp-Yes. ma'am; 1 guess it's cause I'm
out of practice.-LJe.
CAPTAIN, when We cross the isthmus to the
Pacific, do we have to wait long at Colon for the
steamer
Certainly not; thought everybody knew
that Colon WASH full stop."-OCeGn.
WE are told that the Siberian railroad will
connect Napirss, Chta, Irkutsk, Tomsck, To
bolSk, and Ekaterineburg. We think that if
these names were connected and had handle
adjusted to the rear end the would make a
firSt-class meat Puck.
SERVANT Ito head of the house, dining lux
uriousyp-The grocer, sOr, an the butcher an
the baker are outside, Sor, an SEE what they
wants their money
Head of the house (indignantly)-Tell them
I'm at dinner, and cannot be diSturbed.-NeLC
York Sun.
IF there is anything in this world that will in
Spire woman with a determined desire to
learn shorthand, it is to find among her hus-
bands papers a sheet full Of mysterious wiggly
marks interspersed here and there with the
init ials of the woman she doesn't love.-lSonler-
Uilte Journal
Policeman Ito new resident)-Say, there !!
What are you trying to stuff that letter into the
fire alarm box forf
New Resident 0rantically dancing around the
box)-G'way! There's fire at our house, and
I'm going to send for the fire Experimentation
lingtoR Free Press
CITY WIFE-Have MT you got a nice golden
yellow COW out at your farm?
Dairyman-Oh, yes, na'am.
City Wife-Well wish the next time you
come in you would bring some of her butter.
To tell the truth, we are little tired of that
/ from your white cows.-Tfd- BITS.
Miss SINGLEBoDY, who is not so young as she
was, says she thinks the bill before the legsla-
ture requiring seven days notice of intention to
marry very unusual measure Seven days,
indeed she exclaims; lis all wrong; | never
did approve of these long engagements they
are very apt to amount to nothing. Boston
Transcript.
THE task of a man who is compelled to get up
a certain amount of printed humor daily is
more laborious than that of hod carrier 1t is
something like il too. Given a theme and told
to treat il humorousy, the most sedate member
of newspaper staff will attack it without hes
itatiOn, and in his own time will do the work
well, perhaps well as the man whose Spe-
cialty is humor. But, ah, the labor of the sedate
man! How each queer simile, every epigram-
matte sentence and every odd expression will
wiring his soul and make his brain throb! Fun
Tell him that he ought to enjoy his own fun,
and he will probably brain you with the Office
poker.-Ptttsburg Bulletin.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-12
Mr.. clereland.s Letter of Acceptance.

Mr.. Cleveland's Letter of Acceptan ce.
Some Of the republican newspapers are
| expressing the opinion that Mr.. Clevelaud's
letter Of acceptance viii be very interesting
reading because of that paragraph in his
letter Of acceptance of 1884, in which he
spoke of the ACCESSIBILITY of making the
| President ineligible for a second term.
There Is nothing in that paragraph that Is
inconsistent with his acceptance Of a re-
| nomination. He said in 1884 that when
an election to office shall be the selection by
the voters of one of the number TO assume
| for time public trust instead of his dedi-
cation to the profession of politics; when
the holders of the ballot, quickened by a
sense Of duty, shall avenge truth betrayed
and pledges broken, and when the
suffrage shall be altogether free and uncor-
rupted, the full realization of a government
by the people will be at hand And of the
means TO this end, not one would, in my
Judgment, be more effective than an amend
ment TO the constitution disqualifying the
President from reelection" He also called
attention to the fact that an incumbent of
the presidency, who has an army of office
holders at his back, is much more likely to
be regarded by his party as an available
candidate than one who has not these ad-
vantages, and that under such circum-
stances the eligibility of the President for
reelection must be regarded "as q most
serious danger to that calm, deliberate and
intelligent political action which must
characterize a government by the people. {"
All Of this is true, but how will it embar-
rass Mr.. Cleveland in writing his accept
ance of the denomination which he has re-
ceivedi He doubtless still thinks that a
constitutional amendment rendering the
President ineligible for reelection would be
wise legislation. but congress evidently does
not think so. 1t has taken no action on his
suggestion, and there is nothing in the way
of his accepting a denomination. II he
were TO refuse the denomination he has re-
ceived, no future President would feel
bound by his action 1t would be folly,
therefore, for him to take a step that would
not effect the thing he suggested in 1854.
1t is notorious fact that he made no
effort to secure a denomination. 1t is safe
TO say that he did not seek the influence of
a single officeholder in his behalf He had
no occasion to do So He was the unani-
nous choice of his party The democratic
masses, without any reference to the office
holders, called upon him to be their stand
ard bearer again. Was there ever before a
President renominated with such una
nimity, and without the assistance of the
officeholders II every officeholder in the
country had been against Mr.. Cleveland he
would have been renominated. What ap-
plication, therefore, has his letter of 1884 to
the present situation, and how can it posi-
bly, embarrass him in writing his acceptance
of his denomination
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-12
Pure Ignorance.

From the Merchant Traveller.
School Teacher lin backwoods of Kentucky,
to Girl-What has kept you away from school
during the past three daysY
Girl-Mam did.
why did she keep you away?"
"Wanted me to hep pap"
allow help him?"
Put away the things"
what thingsy'
'Oh, you know"
mo, don't"
ut amt possible, mister, that man as old
as you air, and claims ter have as much Iarnin
you does, is that ignunt."
~ really do not know what you mean, Come.
tell me what things did you help Kim put awayf''
wy, the still things, wv co'se"
THE still thingsW
IVY, never did meet SIGH ignunce. Didn't
you know that the cover ment inarshals was in
the curmunity an don't you know that when
they air here we halter hustle round and put
away the still-tubs an the sour mash an sicb
It ain't possible that man with yo' edycation
is that ignunt? Wall, bei'eve I'll go home, fur
| don't think it's no use ter fool long with a
teacher that amt got no mo- sense than YOU
have. We've been tryin' q long time ter git a
smart teacher fur this neighborhood an It do
look like we air never goin ter do no good
a IL -
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-12
The Romeo of the Plow Handles.

From the Cleveland Leader.
o, durn it oil -afeard of her,
And such a mite of gal!
Why, two of her rolled into one
Won't ditto Sister Sal.
Her voice is sweet as the whippoorwills
And the sunShine'S in her hair;
But I'd rather face a redskins knife
Or the grip of the grizzly bear
Yet Sal says: She's such dear,
She's just the one for you"
o, durn it all l-afeard of girl,
And me just six feet twol
Though she amt any size, while I'm
Considerable tall
I'm nowhere when she speaks to me,
She makes me feel so small
My face grows red, my tongue gets hitched-
The cussed thing won't 60.
1t rifles me, cause it makes her think
I'm most tarnation slow.
And though folks say she's sweet on me
guess 1t can't be true.
o, durn it all -afeard of gal,
And me just six feet two!
My sakes just s'pose what the folks
Is saying should be sol
Go, Cousin Jane, and speak to her,
Find out, and let me know.
Tell her the gals should court the men,
For isn't this leap year?
That's why I'm kinder bashful like,
Awaiting for her here,
And should she hear I'm scared of her
You'll swear it can't be true
o, durn it all !-afeard of a gal,
And me just six feet two
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-12

N Actors Wit Brings Down the House
as Well as the President.

From the Washington Chronicle.
On the night of April H. 1865, Mr.. Lincoln ac-
companied by his wife, Miss Harris, and Major
Rathbone of Albany n. Y, was occupying
box at Ford's theater, in the city of Washing
ton. The play was "Our American Cousin, "
with Sothern in the principal role. Mr. Lincoln
was enjoying it greatly. Lee had surrendered
on the 9TH; on the 18th the war was everywhere
regarded as ended, and upon that day Secretary
stanton had teiegraphed to Gen. Dix, Governor
of New York, requesting him to stop the draft
Sothern as Lord Dundreary was at his best
Lincoln was delighted. The lines which care
and responsibility had so deeply craven on his
brow were now scarcely visible. Before leaving
for the theater he had pronounced it the happi
est day OF his life He looked, indeed, as If he
now fully realized the contamination of the
long cherished and fondest aspiration of his
heart. He was at length the undisputed chief
magistrate of confederation of States, constl
tuting the freest and most powerful common
wealth of modern times
AT some period of the performance Sothern
appeared on the stage with Miss Meredith, the
heroine, on one arm, and wrap or shawl care
lessly thrown over the other. The latter seated
nerseIf upon garden lounge placed upon the
stage near the box occupied by the President
on this occasion. Lord Dundreary retires few
PAGES distant from the rustic seat when Miss
Meredith, glancing languidly at his lordship,
exclaims:
Me lord, will you kindly throw my shawl
over my shoulder? There appears to be
urduSht here. "
Sothem, at once complying with the request,
advanced with the mincing step which immor
talized him, and with merry twinkle of the
eye and significant glance directed at Mr.
Lincoln, responded to the happy impromptu;
You are mistaken, Miss Mary, the draft has
already been stopped by order of the Pres-
dent
This sally caused Mr. Lincoln to laugh as few
except himself could laugh, and an outburst of
merriment resounded from all parts of the
house. 1t was Mr.. Lincolns last laugh.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-12
Foreign immigration.

The bill, introduced in the house the other
day by Mr.. Oates of Alabama, to restrict
immigration to this country, and imposing
a tax of S25 upon each immigrant, reflects,
no doubt, the tendency of public sentiment
on the immigration question. The country
has reached the point where it can choose
its immigrants, and something ought to be
done looking to the admission of the best
and the shutting out of the worst of them.
AS far back as 1917, $4,000 foreigners
landed on American soil in one year. and
for ten years afterward there was steady
yearly increase, the number reaching, in
1857, 1873, 713 From 1853 to 1858 it fell be-
hind the figures of 1S47, the largest number
during that period being los, 1862 in 1860 and
the smallest 65, $50 in 1861 From 1868 to
1874, however, the number steadily in
creased, reaching 266, SlS in 1873, but drop
ping TO an average of about 5000 for the
next five years. The greatest number of
arrivals for any one year was AT, 0S6 in
1882 Last year the number was 4O5, 495,
and during the first five months OF 1888 it
was 1876 900, about $4,000 arriving in May
alone.
About one-half of these immigrants re
main for longer or shorter time in New
York, many of them permanently, and of
the other half, one-third go to Pennsyl-
vania, one-sixth to Illinois, one-twelfth to
New Jersey, Michigan, Minnesota. Massa-
chusetts and Ohio, and the remainder prin-
cipally to Wisconsin, Iowa, Connectic ut,
Colorado, Indiana, Kansas, Nebraska, Mis-
souri,, Rhode Island, Dakota and Texas
The south gets very small percentage of
them.
The population of the country has reached
figure where SO great volume Of immi-
grafton is not needed, and partly out of
TINS fact has grown the tendency to dis
courage indiscriminate additions to it and
to devise some means of securing only the
most desirable Immigrants Many of these
foreigners do not make very good citizens
in fact, they cause trouble, particularly
where they are congregated together in
considerable number. Congress, therefore,
in seeking to shut out the paupers, crimi-
mails, anarchists, and those afflicted with
mental and incurable physical diseases, i
acting in harmon with public sentiment
The war Whoon in Eurone inst at presen'
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-12
Names that Mislead.
From the Pittsburo Dispatoh.

From the Pittsbur9 Dispatch.
The tuberose is no rose but a species of
olyanth.
Pompey's pillar had no historical connection
with Pompey in any way.
Cleopatra's needle was not erected by the
Egyptian queen, nor in her honor.
Whalebone is not bone, and is said not to
possess a single property Of bone.
Turkish baths did not originate in Turkey and
are not baths. only heated chambers
German silver was not invented in Germany.
and does not contain particle of silver.
Black lead is not lead at all. but compound
of carbon and small quantity of iron
Brazilian grass never grew in Brazil, and Is
not grass; II is nothing but strips of palm leaf
burgundy pitch is not pitch, and does not
come from Burgundy; the greater part of 1t is
rosn aud palm oil.
Sealing wax does not contain a particle of
wax, but is composed of Venice turpeutine.
shellac and cinnRbar,
Catgut is made from the entrails of sheen
Cutie bone is not bone, but kind of chalk
once inclosed in the fossil remains Of extinct
specimens Of cuttiedsh.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-12
A Campaign of Education.
From the Netc York Times (Tnd.)

There is every prospect that the political
campaign of the present year will be the most
salutary through which the country has passed
since the great civil war 1t will be campaign
OF education for the people on one of the most
important subjects that affect their we'll being
and that of the republic as one of the nations of
the earth. Never before at least not within
the recollection of the present generation of
voters, has the question of sound tariff policy
been brought to a direct issue before the people,
and consequently the country has never had the
education upon the principles and workings of
such policy that can only come from popu-
lar agitation, arousing the attention and eXcit-
ing the keen interest of the great mass of the
people.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-12

The Morning News for the Summer.
Persons leaving the city for the summer
can have the MORNING News forwarded by
the earliest fast mails to any address al the
rate Of 25 cents week, 81 for month or
SO 50 for three months cash invariably in
advance. The address may be changed as
often as desired In directing a change
care should be taken to mention the old as
reU as the ne,c address.
Those who desire to have their home
paper promptly delivered to them while
away, should leave their subscriptions at
the BUSINESS OFFICE.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-12
HDEI TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS

NKFTNes-The southern Mutusl Loan Asso-
cation; Ancient Landmark Lodge No. 81, F. s
A N
SPECIAL SoTTcEs-Sotice, Charles Bartlett;
Ready Mixed Paints, Z J. KiefTeT.
Auction SALEs-Dry Goods CTcckery. Etc,
BY r H Taten: Beds.eads, Bureaus, Etc, by
H a Mcleod; Building Lots by LaRoche &
Mclaughlin; Sundries, AsSignee's Sale by L n.
Iaroche & son
orr wARKHoUsE-Loven & baltimore.
CHEAP CoLCKN ApvEkTfskGKSTa Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent; For
sale; Lost, Found: Summer Resorts; Personal;
Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-12

Mr.. Leonette Cipriani, of Baltimore, is
In danger of having to serve a term of Ave
years in the Italian army A few weeks
ago he went 70 Italy to look after the es-
tates Of his father, Count Cipriani of the
Italian army. He was placed under sur
vigilance by the authorities Of the city Of
Legborn. The Italian government claims
that as MS father was an Italian subject,
he is also, since he has never been natural
lied as an American citizen He was born
In Baltimore and has voted in that city.
The state department las been asked to in.
terfere in his behalf. It Is not certain that
" can help him out Of his difficulty.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-12
John Bulls Previousness.

From the Nelo York World DENY
The London journals welcome President
Cleveland's nomination and the st. Louis plat
form as "a step toward free trade" These
events, no doubt, mark step toward a freer
trade but as the Mills bill would still leave an
average tariff on dutiahle goods of 10 per cent,
job Bull is quite too previous in thinking it
Will put dynamite under all the custom houses,
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-12

The bill providing that the pensions of
widows of soldiers of the civil war shall
begin at the date Of the death of their hus-
bands has been approved by the President.
Soldiers widows viii favor Mr.. Cleveland's
reelection whether the Grand Army fellows
do or not
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-12

The Rocky mountain hopper" is looking
with longing eye on the wheat fields of the
west. and the farmers of that section are so
alarmed that they have lost their appetites
II the chopper" concludes to enter the
wheat fields the farmers will have no wheat
30 harvest
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-12

England is still alarmed about her alleged
defenseless condition. At least half her
statesmen and soldiers seem to think that
France could land 100000 soldiers on her
shores any day. 1t looks, however, as if
the scare were being carefully nursed in
order to induce England to build few more
iron-clads
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-12

There is some anxiety to know who will
be tie first victim of the electric chair, by
means of which murderers are now to be
executed in New York There does not
seem to be any struggle for the distinction
among the convicted murderers.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-12

There are several dark horses in the Chi
cago convention stables. The principal ones
are Senator Cullom of Illinois, ex Governor
Porter of Indiana, and Congressman Nc
Kinley of Ohio The chances are that they
will never be entered in the race
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-12

Some of the political clubs which went to
st. Louis spent money rather freely. The
Tammany Hall club distributed 1900, and
the county democracy of New York spent
$4,000. 1t is said that the expenses of the
California delegation were about SIS, 900.
If other delegations were anywhere near as
liberal, the convention was the means of
getting into circulation a good deal of
money.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-12

The New York Tribune is not happy over
the discovery that one of its reporters is the
author of the scurrilous pamphlet attack
ing the domestic life Of Mr.. and Mrs. Clevs-
land. Has it discharged the reporter2 If
it hasn't. it ought not to be indignant il it
is charged with being partner in his dirty
work
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-12

Potts Razlett and Graham, the three
men who have agreed to 90 over Niagara
falls this week in a barrel, in pursuance of
bet Of 81 600, are spoken Of as three idiots,
who will not be greatly mourned if they
should lose their lives in their foolish under
faE
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-12
A Slight Mistake.

From the Cincinnati Enquirer (Deml
The statement is made in several papers OF
prominence that Judge Thurman is nearly rs
years old. According 10 Ialmon, the judge
was born on Nov 49, 1913 so that he will be ex-
actly rs years old on the very day that he Is
elected vice president
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-12
CURRENT COMMENT.
Protection Not Needed.

From the Philadelphia Record tDem0
During the last ten months the exports OF
lumber and manufactures of wood from the
United States amounted TO upward of $ls,0M,-
600. These figures show how little need there is
for protective duty on lumber.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-12

The Rev. James W Ostrander, the assist
ant pastor Of Talmage's Brooklyn taber-
nacle, has been made ID. by Tennessee
college Does he think about setting up a
rival churchl Since Beecher's death there
is plenty Of room for another great sensa-
tional preacher in the city of churches.