Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1888-02-29
NO FUN TO eE A CAR.
Bul Nye's Dissertation on Some Obvious
Disconaforts OF Royalty.

Brl Nye's Dissertation on Some Obvious
Disconaforts of Royalty.
If anything could reconcile the average
American boy to the fact that he is not
car, it would be the late story OF Mr..
Strakosch TO the effect that his imperial
majesty once, when the czarowitch played
French obligato to the song given by
Nine Nilsson, and that years after, when
he had become a full blown car, the or
chestra affected him to tears, for II
brought back the memory of that blessed
time when he did not have to put on
sheet iron overcoat to 60 out and get the
morning paper.
Happier indeed was this great man,
with his French horn and his portfolio as
czarowitch, living from hand to mouth,
than in after years as thirty-second de-
gree czar with mighty empire under his
thumb and fractious bomb under his
throne.
Greatness brings with 1t newspaper
criticism, loss of appetite, languor, cold
feet and death. And even in death great
man does not stand much of chance.
Relic hunters come and try to break into
his grave and carry fragments of his sys-
tenn away to remember him by, and the
historian criticises him to his hearts con-
tent.
q country where we need not be great il
we would rather not. A car really has
no alternative, He can avoid being a
czarina by beginning in time, but when
he discovers that he is a czarowitch he
knows that it is good-by, John, rs the
Russians have it. Here the rules are less
severe. A man may escape greatness for
years and years. He may be president of
the United States today and promoting
pullets tomorrow.
The utmost latitude is given to an
American. He cannot only abstain from
beingfgreat, but after he has been great
our people will excuse a man and allow
him to insert himself into obscurity again
in case he feels more comfortable that
way. But q czar has no chance. He
really has no fun at all. AS soon as he
| discovers that his lineage is big he is open
to criticism, and cannot do anything un-
| dignifed.
A czar who would play shorstop In a
picked nine or go about the country deliv
| ering humorous lecture, would be ostra-
cized. Many long, hot summer day no
has to stay on q big red throne and reign
while mediocre men 60 fishing. just as
! he thinks he Is alone and takes of his hat,
| ermine trimmed robes, thinking that he
will sit IN his shirt sleeves and play O few
| strains on his French horn, courtier
comes in and, making a low obeisance,
states that he has ukase which ought to
be issued in time to catch the o'clock
| mail.
Then it is disagreeable for man to be
a car and suddenly find himself the
| parent of a grand duke whom he don't
exactly feel at liberty TO spankI No man
really wants to spank grand duke, no
matter how little he is. AS Americans,
we do not fully appreciate the blessings Of
| freedom which are denied to q car.
Czarinas also have pretty hard row to
hoe, to use'an Americanism. They have
to meet all the social demands that are
made upon them and entertain neighbor-
| ing potentates, see that they have hot
water and clean towels in their rooms
while visiting at their houses, and show
| them the best places to trade while in the
| city. They also have to have general
oversight of the children, so that their
distracted country will not run short of q.
monarch.
1t is no uncommon thing for czarfna
| to say to visiting dynasty: Excuse me
a moment, your royal altitoodleum; his
nibs, the grand duke, has just informed
me that her eminence. the grand duch-
ess, his sister, has got a Lima bean up
her nose.-Bnl Nye in New York World.