The prison mirror. [volume] (Stillwater, Minn.) 1887-1894, 1888-11-21
The Shyster.

Oils OF which has justly gained world
wide celebrity, for the quality and quantity
of the excellent flour which its mills an
nually grind out of the principal cereal of
the state. But, it is not on account of this
fact. that old Hennepin has earned for it.
self the appellatiOn by which it is generally
mentioned among our resident population,
neither is it because some of its representa-
tives here have occasionally ''carried the
banner" but it is due to the fact that it's
delegation here Out-numbers that of any
other county in the state, by reason of its
judicial mill being very materially assisted
in the grinding process, by the negligence
and incOmpetency of those assigned to de-
fend such unfortunates as happen to be
without means to employ suitable counsel.
The laws of the state of Minnesota are as
liberal in their provisions for securing JUS
tice to those who are charged with crime,
as are the laws OF any state OF the United
States; they guarantee trial by jury. allow
those accused to testify in their own be-
half, and provide counsel for those who
are unable to pay tor such. But the
Spect. seldom benefits those for whom it is
intended, from the cause that the large
majority Of such cases fall into the
hands of that class of attorneys commonly
designated as ShysterS."
With the criminal class, the genuine dis
clpleS OF Blackstone are regarded with the
highest degree OF respect and admiration.
always provided, however. that the talents
OF the aforesaid disciples are not arrayed
against them; in that event, am creditably
informed. the respect and admiration, is
somewhat controlled by fear of
consequent results. No profession has con-
tributed so much to the general welfare of
the country as has that of the law. Its
members have distinguished themselves at
the bar on the bench. in the halls of legis-
latiOn, in the realms of diplomacy, and in
every field where tact and talent are requi-
site. but, as the medical profession has its
Quacks, the ministry its black sheep, so,
also. has the law it's ''shy sters."
The Shyster is to great eXtenta mystery;
how he ever managed to secure admission
to the bar has often been matter for wonder;
for if called upon for a display of his legal
attainmentS, he certainly must have been
coached" as he rarely makes any exhibit
ton of them after he gets there" AS
soon as his legal existence has been Off
cially recognized, he makes haste to dis
play his single upon the door of his office
where he has acquired desk room. and. as
is often the case. lodging. Being now ready
for practice he does not calmly wait for
business to come to him. Oh, no! he
''hustes." he does. He is firm believer
in the old adage that The early bird
catches the wOrm." and is accordingly up
with the lark. At an early hour of the
"A bf,i fln cfo
ton, where by virtue of his profession he
gains ready admission. He makes tour
of the cells. on business intent, and subjects
the inmates thereof to the interviewing pro-
cess; he volunteers his services. and his fee
is regulated according to the fulneSs of the
clients purse. He generally manages to
catch on" On such occasions he is very
Obliging. he will take watch, OvercOat, OF
any other article-upOn which cash can be
raised-tO uncle" and will conduct the
necessary negotiations that are required to
convert them into the ''needful."
He next wends his way to the district
court in quest of bigger game, where he
takes a seat Oh the anxious bench and waits
-MicaWber like-fOr something to turn
up" His manner of operation here. | can
best describe by the recital OF my own ex-
perience with one of the species.
In company with three others, l was ar
rested, charged with the commission of a
crime i'm Minneapolis. We were taken to
the municipal court for preliminary ex-
animation. which, however, for some un-
eXpIainabe reason. we failed to get. We
were next escorted to the district court,
where the grand jury was then in session,
and the latter. in order to relieve us Of
any suspense they might have given us
credit for. found two indictments against
each of us with promptitude, as we
thought. worthy of better cause. Rail
rOading." the boys here term it, and the
application indeed appears an appropriate
one. We were then ushered into the pres
ence of Ibis honor, and arraigned. We plead
| ..not u1iltv - Tn raCnOnCQ n tho indoors