The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1888-03-24
THE DOCTORS DILEMMA.
The Hard Row Which the Average Ply
sicIan Has to Hoe.

sicIan Has to Hoe.
The individual, no matter what his
profession may be, who imagines that
he is going to give satisfaction to the
general public in any thing he may
undertake, is certainly the victim of a
delusion. 1t is impossible to please
every body. The man, be his station
in life what it may, who comes up to
the expectation of the multitude has not
yet been born. The editor, in particu-
lar, soon makes this discovery. The
clergyman also knows that there are
people in. his congregation who are
never satisfied with what he does or
caves undone. The doctor is another
professional man who has Il hard row
to hoe. a
If doctor dresses well and wears a
high hat people say that he is medical
dude. If, on the other hand, he pays
little or no attention to his toilet then
he is accused of lack of dignity. If he
goes into society, attends balls and
parties, then the impression is that he
is fishing for popularity. If he does not
he is accused of putting on airs.
If the physician visits his patients
while they are in good health, he is ac-
cused of foisting himself upon them.
He comes TO the house in order ~ =
invited to dinner. If, on the other
hand, he never comes until he is called,
the inference is that the only use that
he has for his patients is to make money
out Of them when they are sick If the
doctor attends church, of course he is a
hypocrite who is trying to work on the
religious feelings of the community
If he does not attend church, nothing
can be palmer than that he is an infdel
or socialist. If the doctors wife does
not return the calls that other ladies
make on her, then she is stuck up,
turning up her nose at her betters, etc.
If she does return the calls, then she is
flushing patients for her husband to
shoot at.
If the DOCTORS horse is fat, that is a
sure sign that he has not got much to
do. If the animal is emaciated, he is q
brute for not taking better care of his
horse. If he drives fast. he is trying to
create the false impression that he has
been called to the bedside of some i'm
portant patient. If he drives slowly he
does not care a cent whether or not his
patients die before he gets to them.
If a patient RECEIVERS his health, he is
indebted to y kind Providence or
strong constitution, or to the care that
was taken of him during his illness.
In no case is the doctor entitled to any
credit for his recovery. If the patient
dies, he was undoubtedly murdered by
his physician. If the medical man is
sociable and talkative, the people say:
1--WE don't want Il doctor who tells
every thing he knows" If he is Il
silent man, then they say doctor
should encourage his patients to be
communicative.
if he talks politics, they say that a
doctor should have no politics; alsd i
he does not talk politics, then he is a
sneak and a time-servcr who either has
no politics or is afraid to own up what
his politics really are. If he does not
send in his bill, his object is to prevent
the patient from engaging another
doctor. If he does send in his bill, he
is in a fearful hurry for his money, and
so on to the end of the chapter. Teras
tSifti71OS.