Morning journal and courier., 1888-04-18
REALLY.

Ethelinda-"So you are really engaged, dear. How on earth did you manage ita'' Arabella-''The calendar helped me. It's leap year. I cannot tell a lie. I. did it with my little ax."-Boston Bulletin.
 Labor notes-Mrs. Bridget Mulvany, the eminent washer lady, struck last week for an advance of 1 cent on collars and on shirts. Her husband, the well known coal beaver, is on a sympathetic strike.-Puck.
 Book agent-'sHow do you do, madam. Will your dog bitea'' Madam-'fWaal, I reckon he will" Book agent-ssWould you have the goodness to speak to himf' Madam F-"Certainly. Sick'm, Tige; sick limp Harper's Bazaar.
 ''I think an egg would make that coffee settle, Mrs. Scadgers, said the impeounious boarder heedlessly. eff the recipe is sure Sloapa," responded the landlady severely, and then the conversation 1anguished. = Boston Commercial Bulletin.
 Mrs. Lake -'tWonderful, isn't itg" Miss Lake Shore-f'Why, mamma it is per- fectly horrible" Mrs. Lake Shore-''I don't mean the whole painting, my dear. was referring to the manner in which the artist makes that twenty-pound man lift ton of hay on his pitchfork. Chicago Tribune. stDid your son take the valedictory in col legei" said gentleman to 8 lady who was enthusiastically praising the ability of her offspring.
 ssNo, indeed, he didn't" she remarked with pride. "He didn't take anything. He is the healthiest boy you ever saw."-Wash- ington Critic.
 The Spirit of the Law.-Uncle Rastus (to his employer, lawyer)-"Dey's CT man waitin' outside de de', sah, fo' twenty fl 'cen's for cahrin' in de coal, sah," Lawyer.-But, Rastus, expected you to carry in that coal. I" Uncle Rastns.-"Yes, sah; but yo' see, Mistah Blank, I was only hid to do de office wuk, an was 'fraid dat eff cahrid in de coal 'twouldn't be legal, sah. ."-Harper's Bazar
 A Shakespearian Pa.-'Pa, who was it turned the garden hose on Reginald when he "And why, pray?" "Because Shakespeare advises it. He says, If music be the food of love, play on,' and assuming Reginald B brand of music to be the food of love, I played employed on him with the hose and a dilution of insect powder. ."-Yonkers Gazette.
 A small boy is rather slow in committing prayers to memory, and requires good deal of prompting. The other night he began his regular prayer in his regular way: "Now -I-lay-me"-and there he stuck fast. "Down'-said his mother, prompting. Whereupoa Johnny set off again with great alacrity and fluency-"Down came black
 
 docet that the preference of the present gen eration for secular over sacred literature be- gins at an early age.-Boston Transcript.
 "This is very strange" remarked Billy Bliven, thoughtfullY, after he had tasted the contents of the butter. dish, livery strange indeed"
 'sWhat is strangel"
 s'That such delicate, pale butter should turn out to be 80 robust. ."-Merchant Tray- eller.
 ''Did you have any eonfederatess" inquired the judge.
 ''No, jedge," said the prisoner, who had pleaded guilty to the charge of bank robbery. s'The fellers that helped me was Democrats, but they wasn't rebs. ."-Chicago Tribune.
 What woman doesn't know about news papers isn't worth knowing. The other morn ing Mrs. B. was talking to her husband.
 ''I notice by the Tribune that Mir. Jones died on Sunday"
 ''It is mistake, my dear," replied the husband, sfhe died Monday"
 t'But the paper said Sunday" ssI know it, but it was an error in the print.''
 'tI thought so, too, at first, but got half dozen copies of the paper and it was the same in all of them. They certainly couldn't have made the mistake over and over again" :"
 The husband tried to convince her, but it was no use, and he gave 1t up.-Washington Critic.