St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-01-28
a LEAP YEAR ESSAY,
"Scottie" Writes Interestingly on
the Subject OF Lean Year.


promised some time ago to say some
thlng TO the boys about leap year, and
after giving the subject serious consid-
Grafton L have come to the conclusion
that it is too arduOuS one for me to
tackle. But at the same time l should
not like to have the name of Sinking Il
duty that is at once so pleasant and so
prolific of sentiments that are sure to
meet with the hearty acceptance of the
boys. however feebly and imperfectly
expressed. If. therefore, my ideas get
mixed, you must not put it down to
what have lmbibed, as the whole of
my territory Is now strictly prohibition.
GU must set ii down solely to
the great ideas the subject evokes
which crowd and struggle for utterance,
and thereby only impede their own
progress and defeat their own ends, just
like crowd madly striving for exit
from building on fire. A number of
them, and perhaps the rest, who knows,
must be trampled down and perish
mISerably in the effort TO escape.
Leap year Is so called because it leaps
forward day as compared with an or
binary year. The term biSSeXtile, applied
by the Romans TO leap year, arose from
their reckoning the 9th before the
kalendS of March, Feb. "a, twice,
whereas we, in our generation, add a
day to the end of the month, making it
the 18th of February. Such and so old
Is my subject, What a. theme, to be sure,
for an old bachelor to treat of.
On the 18th of every February in leap
year the ladies get show to pop the
question TO the lOve-Stricken SWANS who
have not screwed up their courage Suffi-
GENTLY to face the music, and mayhap
get taste of an irate parents No. 10 on
that particular part of his anatomy
Nature provided him to sit upon.
This privilege is an old-time custom,
introduced into England during the
Norman conquest, when the chivalrous
cavaliers of France, after invading En-
gland, were afraid to WOO the fair and
naughty Saxon DANES until the latter,
getting recOpclled to their presence in
the country, made OvertureS and chose
their champions from amongst their for
eign foes.
The custom has descended to us with
the ages which since then have elapsed,
and is most cOmmendable one. Man
was made to mourn, L mean, was never
made TO live alone. ''EXperientium
stultum dOcet." Just fancy poor Adam
on the last day of creation in the shades
OF Eden, with the beasts of the field and
the birds OF the air as companions. No
c0ngenial helpmeet to darn his socks.
sew on his buttons or comb his hair.''
l am direct descendant of Adam.
and l now give to the world the refrain
to an original poem composed by Adam
III his solitary wanderings on the banks
OF the Euphrates;
There's the fox and the hare,
And the badger and bear
And the birds in the greenwood tree,
And the pretty little rabbits,
So engaging in their habits.
And they've all got mate but me-"
But providence is. good and history
repeats itself, as to how the old man
procured the needful. Just fancy how
tickled the grand old gardener must
have been when he awoke out of that
deep sleep in the melon patch and found
himself minus rib, but plus better it
not bigger half. What surprise for
the hitherto supplemented unit of hui
manity. No more solitary musings as
to the designs of his own being. No
more going down to his club of an
evening, you bet. 1t is only fair that
the ladies get show. My experience
teaches me that mankind in general
and travelling men in particular, are
graced with Superabundance of mod
eSty, which should in a degree be coun-
terbalanced once in four years at any
rate by the members of the female per-
SuaSion. Ladies, enter the lists, throw
down your gage of battle and select
your champions OIL the Doth, and you
benedictS who have entered the cOnnu-
bal Eden and found its fruits pleasant
alike to the eye and taste, encourage
the darlings.
But recognize the fact that this is a
theme that should be handled by some
one who has the wit of Ben Jonson
and the wisdom of a Socrates: arts,
alas, which are not mine. And in ap-
preciating this l shall say to all YOU
boys who are unmarried that you may
have all the technical knowledge and
ability that BELTS thoroughly practical
Knight of the Grip; you may have all
the social qualities that are indispens-
able to your taking that place in society
to which your professional standing
entities you, but you have one draw
back, serious one, you are a bachelor
Ladies, remedy this. Now is your
chance; and whilst you are doing so
just let me whisper to you that | am
personally acquainted with travelling
man, an unmarried sinner, and shin
ing light amongst the elite of Southern
Dakota society, who is not in the mar
ket. Known to the travelling fraternity
and to great many of the fair sex in st.
Paul by the nom de plume of
SCoTTIE.