Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-11-08
WHY DON'T MEN MARRY.
A Number of Reasons for their Not En-
tering into the Bonds of Wedlock.

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best organized society is that where
the marriage relation is most careful
" adjusted Statistics show that the
per cent. of marriages is decreasing,
while the per cent. of divorces is in
creasing. Perhaps it is not fair to APP
ply this rule to all localities, SAYS the
Detroit Free Press. There are always
executions. But that this is the case
in general there does not seem to be
much doubt. Unless some sudden
check is put upon this inclination to
live alone on the part of the male sex,
there is no telling where it will end
and what society will come to.
There is naturally variety of opin-
ion on this topic. Ask a young lady
who is yearning for her own vine
and fig tree, and husband, by way of
an adjunct, why it is that the men are
so 10th to take unto themselves part
ners for better or for worse, and she
will reply: .sOh! the men are selfish.
They want to spend all their money
on themselves. They like the lux
uries of celibacy. They like their club
life with all its comforts. They want
to provide themselves with everything
that is calculated to make man salts
fed with himself and the world at
large" This is the reply that the in
terrogator will get in most cases. There
may be varieties of expression, accord
ing to the individual, but the tenor of
the answer is not far removed from
this.
Ask the young man who is fit SUBJ
iect for the matrimonial market why
it is that the men do not marry, and
he will say: "Oh, the women are so
foolish. They want to enjoy them
selves. They want to wear fine clothes,
keep UP with all the fashions, have
servants to do the work for them, and
live like the wives of millionaires. If
the women were not so foolish more
men would get married. If they were
less capricious there would be less
anxiety felt about the married state.
As it is, the young man with mod
crate income is afraid to plunge in the
voxtex of matrimony for fear that f.
nancial bankruptcy may be the out
come" This will be the reply in nine
cases out Of ten.
Here we are between two grind
stones. But when one investigates the
question in careful way, the con-
cIusion is inevitable that there is
ground for complaint on both sides.
The young man is certainly selfish. He
forms habits in his bachelor days which
certainly would not become him as
married man. He has his club, and
the club claims good deal of his time
and thought. He does not as a gen
eral thing take his wife to the club with
IL cha oh
to clubs and thinks that they are hor-
rid. If the young benedict would
make his home his clubhouse and his
wife his club-fellow, there would be
much less ground for complaint than
there now is. But to most young
men, who even in a married state pine
for a little bit of freedom, club life of
this kind would be too monotonous.
Again, there is some ground for the
complaint that the young man is too
fond of his own comfort. That is I'M
doubtedly true. But man is very
largely creature of habit He forms
tastes and habits in celibacy which he
can not shake off. Too often when he
has wife he gratifies those tastes
even if to do so he is compelled to sac
rifice his Wife's comfort. This is not
right. A woman when she marries
takes the step in some cases for the
want of congenial companionship; in
others to better her condition. But,
leaving the material aspect of the mat
ter out of sight, q woman who marries
does not at once like to begin a life of
denial and self-abnegation.
The young man has q good deal to
complain about, too. The education
of young woman is often far too SUI
perficial, and therefore useless. It
does not fit her to be the true helpmatc
of man. 1t is calculated to make
her an ornament, not useful being.
The average society woman is well de-
fined by the philosopher Thomas Car
lyle in his ''Sartor Resartus" as piece
of celestial art which he glories to sur
vey in galleries, but which he has lost
hope of purchasing. The young wom-
an too often is educated to be q parlor
ornament, to dress well, to pose eff
fectively, to play the piano little and
to have a smattering in those branches
of education which are purely orna-
mental. A wife of this kind is not
what the vonng man wants who is just
starting out upon his career. He must
have someone to help him save. In
order to do this the wife must know
how to work and must not be afraid
to work. That they do not is, perhaps,
not so much their fault as it is the fault
of society and its standards.
Women like to share the burdens of
those they love. They are willing to
put up with very much of inconven-
fence, withstand any tribulation, pro-
viding it will help along the one that
is loved and cause him to feel happy.
When it comes to question of sacri-
flee, OF moral or even physical cour-
age, the woman in three cases out of
five is superior to the man. She will
bear more pain uncomplainingly and
complacently battle with annoyances
that would almost drive a man crazy.
Most women would be true helpmeets
if they had a chance. But from their
childhood's days they are taught to
have a wrong view of life and to ignore
the substantial in favor of the arti-
fetal.
This is wholly wrong, Men and
women were created to be joined in
matrimony. 1t is wrong to keep them
apart. 1t is not only wrong to the in
dividuals of the two sexes, but it is
fraught with danger to society. Where
there are the most happy marriages
there the standard of purity will be
the highest. Where there are the least
marriages the standard of impurity
will be the highest. Where there are
no marriages at all-but who can
imagine the state of society that would
follow this? 1t is the duty of young
men and HoIln0 women to marry.