The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1888-04-19

V. NJ. Miller, who, when the conflict
was raging between wings and demo
Gratis, arraigned the democratic party
with terrible force to a big meeting. He
then said:
as there any man in all this assem-
bly, that will now dare to get up and
confess himselfa democrats"
Contrary to expectation, a chubby
Irishman with an exceedingly red nose
arose, and placing his hands on his
hips, with his arms akimbo, said
"Ies, sir, I am a democrat"
The doctor drew attention to the
queer looking figure and said:
my friend, if you would wrap few
wisps of straw around you, you would
be a demy-John."
But let our correspondents speak for
themselves, and if most of the bright
things come out of the classics, it may
be that Wit, like wine. gets its bouquet
with age.
FROM RANDOLPH OF ROANOKE.
Hon. John T. Glenn writes:
Is there anything better than what
Randolph said when he met very dis
agreeable enemy on the sidewalk. The
fellow, clustering up and occupying
most of the way, said:
II never give way for rascal"
~ always do," said Randolph, polite
ly stepping aside.
THE SHARP TONGUE OF GOOD QUEEN
BEES.
Judge H. B. Tompkins writes
"Without fully understanding the pur-
port of your inquiry, submit the fol-
lowing from Queen Elizabeth, Eng
lands virgin queen. She became offend
ed at Lord Burleigh, and intended to
point her scorn by an allusion to his
enemy and her favorite, Lord Leices-
ter. She said: Though burly you be,
LORD Burleigh, you shall make less stir
in my kingdom than Leicester"
Hon. w. B. Hill, Macon, Ga, writes:
TO select the best among ones favor
ite legal repartees is like the attempt of
the royal mother to select from her
childen the one whose surrender was
the condition upon which city's siege
was to be raised. AS each passed in re-
view before her, each seemed the best
loved. l can only say OF the following
that it is fairly good. A client reproach-
ed his counsel for having been in a
semi-boozy condition when he con-
Quoted his case in court. The lawyer
replied: 1T was absolutely necessary
that should fuddle myself down to
the capacity of the jury"
Hon. A. o. Bacon writes:
An excellent piece of repartee is &C.
corded to a Mr.. Harris, of Atlanta
whose initials 90 not now recall, but
who is named by the irrevcrent as
"Fatty Harris" He was on the wit.
ness stand in Fulton superior court, and
was being examined by the then attor.
ney-gcncral Of Georgia. The witness did
not reply to a question as directly as
the encouragement wished. The latter
repc led his question, and added with
emphasis: "Now, Mr.. Harris, you Ger.
tainly understand that question, fol
you are a very intelligent man."
THANK you, Mr.. Attorney General u
replied Mr.. Harris with a bow, ~
would return the compliment with
great pleasure if were not at present
under OATH"
Judge Nisbet writes:
1t is not necessary to 60 outside OF
Georgia for good piece of repartee
Judge Underwood, the elder, was q
greater Wit than Sheridan, but, unfor
tunately had no Boswell to write his
biography or Constitute, reporter tc
publish what he said. He was engaged
in a case once and the judge, after
charging very decidedly against him.
locked the jury up for the night and
adjourned court. After tea the judge
and Underwood were walking on the
piazza of the hotel near the courthouse,
and heard quite movement Of chairs
and Of feet in the jury room, when the
Judge remarked: II believe the jury
have gone to prayers" When Under
wood said: II expect SO. Failing to get
any light from your honors charge
they are seeking it from above"
Goverdor Gordon writes:
I'll give YOU another from Under
wood. When he lived in Elbert aman
was abusing him roundly, and ended
by saying: Eyes, sir; and l understand
YOU were a federalist"' To this Judge
Underwood replied:
'In those times, there were but two
parties in this country-federalists and
fools. l was a federalists. I never heard
you, sir, accused of being one"
General Henry R. Jackson writes:
The best piece Of repartee I remember
to have ever read or heard, fell from the
lips of John Van Buren,, at one time