The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1888-03-29

vEGErABLE RED.
am inclined to hope that / am the
most nervous man in the world. Like
many shy men am comparatively happy
when / am by myself. was very happy
on certain important but ornery look
ing afternoon on the Underground
Railway. My Office in Whitehall street
bad left me free at O'Clock, and had a
new edition of Sophocles " to read. The
Greek drama was always my subject, and
l have, indeed, prepared an edition of
"Sophocles on my own account in
which my various readings are conclusive
ly proved to be the only correct ones; it
will be published posthumously. Well,
the new edition was one source of happi-
ness, my solitude was another. More
over, one foot was resting on the cushion
opposite and my other leg was crossed
over that knee. had only just begun q
cigarette, and was secure in the reflection
that should not have to move for some
minutes, when an event happened which
would not necessarily seem of any i'm
portance the door of the next compart-
ment (separated only from mine by a
half way partition) opened, and two
ladies got in. They were evidently
young ladies from their voices and words.
Why, this is smoking carriage
With the usual horrid smell in it. too %
Well, there's no one smoking in it
now, Maggie, so go on with your tale.
him."
"Liked him ?" the other voice Ia pretty
voice. answered. "Why, my dear May,
he is red-headed-has that vivid, vege-
table red that always loathed and de-
tested 7"
Now, my hair is red, vegetable, vivid,
vile and detestable; of that color with
which only the invldious freckle loveth
to abide. don't like the color of my
own hair. If could have braved the
sneers of some vendor of dyes. if could
have faced the unapproving silence of
my polite acquaintance, aud the banter
of my Office, then I should have very
gradually changed the color of my hair.
But what was l to do now? If kept
silence might overhear condolences from
this unseen Maggie" concerning her
relations with and conduct toward my
companion In misfortune. This would
never do. So coughed.
The cough was evidently not noticed,
for the young lady who answered to the
name of May said:
"Look, Maggie, the partition doesn't
go up to the roof wonder if there is a
man on the other side p
"Ill easily settle that, my dear ~
Maggie replied, to my horror.
There was nothing else for it, 60
feigned sleep as well as 1 could, while l
imagined and partly heard this dreadful
young woman getting on the seat, and
felt that was being examined over the
partition. Then it occurred to me with
a sort of spasm that sleep with lighted
cigarette in the mouth was inconsistent
and improbable. Puff at the cigarette l
could not, and my nostriIs were being
horribly irritated by the smoke that was
curling around them. l held on as long
as could, feeling meanwhile that my face
was becoming more and more congested,
until at last, hoping that my observer had
withdrawn herself, and being utterly in
capable of living longer without fresh air,
burst out with a yelp, curiously COM
pounded of splutter, cough and sneeze.
looked up at the partition. The inter-
val between it and the roof of the carriage
was small one, and Maggie had been
compelled to turn her face q little side
ways to get a good view of me. By
means of her hat she had been imprisoned
in this position. and was now tugging and
pulling to get free.
a nof nnv1IU npfo a.
ble situatiou, but, though 1 was devoutly
anxious for the immediate and painless
death of one of us, was aware dimly,
just then, that Maggie was young per-
con of considerable attractions. Her face
was beautiful oval, and she had bril-
liant color, partly the result of her posi-.
tion and exertion, l supposed. This
state of affairs lasted, perhaps, q geod
FIVE seconds-seconds that felt to drag
like the Ger .uries which precede summer
holiday. What to dof If I offered to
help / could only advance matters by
either pulling her hat of or squashing it
back against the roof Moreover, | was
almost certain to touch her face! No
wonder that girl with face like that
"loathed and detested vegetable red
hair"
Even these FIVE seconds came to an end
at last. With great struggle the face
disappeared, but Gudge of my embarrass-
ment and horror y the hat fell at my feet
where was standing in indecision and
dismay.
"May," I heard Maggie whisper to her
friend, "there was . man there. Ut
course he has red hair, and my hat has
fallen over into his carriage"
We were getting near Q station, | was
glad to see. Az the train whiried in l
handed the hat over the partition, and
said with - much firmness % could
command, In On sfEsir Of such complicated
discomfort: Your hst, I believe; allow
mei''
Then. without waiting to collect my
gloves, my umbrella and my new Sopho-
ciss, Tsprsng onto the platform.
nm not expert in "leaving the train
vhiIs it u in notion" at the best OF
times. This time which was by no means
Of the best, I sprang straight out at right
angles to the line Of the train, and % .
natural consequences was thrown violently
on my hands and knees, tearing my
nethse 9armsnfs at the knee and bark
~ 4 ~ knse ifeelf With moro liberality
shsn lioeus1ion. However, / rehected, -
fs1hMsd nysslf aDd my hat together,
they ooald noE have seen mo fall, 10 al
- 4 n. -