davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23
WOOL CARDIN(

Leave your wool with w. A, kooeres
at Craig's Grain House, for Fall River
Wool Cards. Rolls returned prompt y
1eao1t T.J. CHoATE.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23

Rainey y Bennett are receiving a
large lot OF buggies, phaetons, spring
wagons, harnes ETC.. when they ASK
the public to examine at Rainey's STA
bile
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23
MARKET REPORT.

PULASKI, Aug. %, 1888.
COUNTRY PRODUCE.
PAID BY DEALERS HERE
Corn, 46,
Wheat, 60a70. Oats 2Qc
Bacon, dry smoked shoulders 81
Sides 10; hams I'M.
Lard, Sc.
Butter, 10a15.
Eggs, SIC.
Beeswsx, II
Tallow,9Ha.
Feathers, Ic.
Hides, Green, sac; Dry Aint. II
Meal, 55
Dried Apples, 2. Peaches q
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23

THAT. HACKING COUGH can be
so quickly cured by Shiloh's Cure. We
guarantee it. Sold by Anderson & Co.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23

For lame back, side or chest use Shi-
loh's Porous Plaster. Price 20 cents.
Sold by Anderson & Co.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23
Mount Pisgah-Death in the Church.

Mount Pisgah--Death in the Church.
Mr.. Editor propose to give a
brief list of the heavy loss OF the
mem bership of Mt. Pisgah Church,
M. e. G. South, in the last uine
months. / will mention name and
age. Mrs. Caroline Dunnevant
daughter of VIM. G. Lloyd died in
peace. aged about years.
Mrs. Evan, wife of Thomas Evans,
died peacefully, quite old, age not
known.
Mrs. Osborn, daughter of S err
ling Alternately, deceased, died in
peace, age 3S.
Mollie Rhea, daughter of Mrs Os
born of above died in the faith
of gospel, aged % years.
MRS. Ann Alternately, relict OF
Sterling Alternately, deceased, and
mother OF Mrs Osborn. She died
calmly. Aged 10.
Edward, Son of W. L. Butler,
died peacefully,''aged IA.
L. S. Harwel, died in full hope
of erernal life, (he was Steward
aged 81 years.
W. G. Lloyd, (Trustee) died il
peace, aged 81.
Jas. Harwell, Sunday Schoo
Superintendent, died triumphantly
Aug. H., aged 81 years.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23

IT. A. Rosengrant has just received
another car load of buggies, carriages,
surrys and phaetons and lis prepared to
give you bargain. Call and see his
stock
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23
Cure for Sick Headache,

For proof that DIR. Gums Liver
Pills cures Headache, ask your drug
glst for free trial package. Only one
OF a dose. Regular size boxes, %
ents. Sold by Ii. M.Grigsby,
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23

Kentucky boasts of its pretty women
fine horses blue grass aud her celebra
ted Ganter's chicken cholera cure
which is sold on the "no- cure-n no pay
| pla n by Anderson & Co.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23

WILL YOU SUFFER with dyspep-
STA and liver complaint? Shiloh's Viz
talizer is guaranteed to cure you. Sold
by Anderson & Co.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23

Go to Raineys stable and see those
elegant, first-class buggies, carriages,
phaetons, etc just being recelV by
II aiueV a. Bennett,
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23
RrinS Your Wool

Attend Roses clearing sale tn Is
and next week. IL
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23

SLEEPLESS NIGHTS, made misera-
Bile by that terrible cough. Shiloh's
Cure is the remedy for you. Sold by
Anderson & Co.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23

Our cards are running on full time
and are in splendid order. Bring your
wool TO be carded. Usual price
WEBB & Meg REV.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23
A House for Rent

To our cards. We are now ready 10
card at usual prices. We VIII also ouy
your wool. WEBB q MCokE"'
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23
MENTION OF PEOPLE.

Mrs. Sue Butler is in the city Wis
iting relatives.
Miss Annie Rhea is in the city
for a few days.
Mr.. and Mrs. t. J. Hindman
went to Lynnvllle Sunday.
DR.. and Mrs. c. A. Abernathy
have returned fIom Elkmont.
Mr.. Sigmond Rosenau started
to the Eestern market last Thursday.
Mr.. Fl. NJ. Brunnan and family
returned from Elkmont Tuesday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Tom Meredith
paid Pulaski flying visit last wesk.
Rev. j. s. Weaver goes this week
to assist R-v. Il. g. King in meet
ing.
MIR. Henry L. Ballentine, of
Washington City, is at home on
visit.
Miss Sallie Shepard and little
Nj AIRY Ezell came up from Elkmont
Tuesday.
Mrs Jno. O. Carter is keeping
house for Mrs. Will Craig while
she is at Elkmont.
Messrs L. E. Alternately, A. E.
May and II. Nj. Brannan left for the
East to-day for fall goods.
Mrs. James Mathew has been
visiting her sister Mrs. Ike Cowart
near Spring Hill Maury County.
Mrs. Pattie Graham has placed
US under obligation for a box of de
licious grapes grown at Culman Ala.
Misses Camp bell and Miss Sallie
Wilson spent several days with Mrs.
j. S. Reynolds the first of the week.
Mr.. Frank G.. McCord cam
down from Nashville last Saturday
and went to Elkmont to spend a
week.
Miss Orlean Ballentine of Muir
free sboro is the guest of our Miss
Orlean Ballentine. She arrived
Tuesday.
W. Elwood Lacy, of Memphis, an
old time citizen of Pulaski and one
Of natures noblemen, is visitin g
Pulaski friends.
Prot. W. J. Lewis is principal OF
the Pulaski public school with Miss
esq Susie Manson and Edmonis
Bramlette and f. 2. Turner assist
ants.
Mr.. F. Winshiy came up from
Thomasville, Ga, Saturday to see
his family, who are once more es-
tablished in their comfortable home
on West Hill.
Miss Katie Wilkes. who has beer
the guest of Miss Lizzie Wilkes
left for her home in Columbia yes
terday afternoon much to the regre
of her many admirers.
Hon. Z w. Ewing, after a pro
tracted spell, was out Monday ant
visited THE CITIZEN office. He con
templated leaving that afternoon
for Washington.
The question having been re-
peatedly asked Mr.. j. F. Black il
he was going to be candidate for
the Legislature, we are authorized
by him to say that he Is not ant
does not expect to De a candidate il
the present race for the legislature
Rev. D. L. Wilson, having re-
turned from Elkmont much i'm
proved in health, will resume his
ministerial duties at the Presbyteri
an church. He was present last
Sunday morning but his desk wa
occupied as per previous announce
ment by Rev. Mr.. Weaver.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23
Sunday School Mass Meeting.

Nuuudy DCuUOi Adoc mOOblASs
To all ministers of !. the gospel,
Sunday school workers and chris
tain people of all denominations:
You are hereby earnestly request
ed to attend a mass meeting OF
christian people and lovers of the
Sunday school work to be held at
the Methodist church in the town
of Pulaski at 8 o'clock p. m. on
Saturday the 1st day of September,
1888. The meeting is for the pur-
pose of organizing a county Sunday
school association, the purpose of
which is TO advance the interest in
the Sunday school cause in our
county, which can only be- done by
syste matte cooperative effort on
the part of Sunday school
workers and the ministry.
Let every Sunday school worker
come 80 that we may organize and
elect delegates to the state Sunday
school con vention which meets in
Nashville on the 18th of September.
WILL. S. EzELL,
Z. w. EWING,
j. S. WEAVER,
j. NJ. ASHFORD,
w. C. Ross,
T. M. N. JONES.
Mr.. Ohatteron to Step Down.
"For every other district in the
state, which includes a county town.
three justices of the peace may be
elected by the qualified voters there
in.'-Code, sec. 391. For every
county town an incorporate town, oae
Justice is to be elected by the quail
fled voters therein" Sec. 1872.
At the recent election there was
no seperate vote taken in the cor
poration and the coroner certified
the election of the four leading can
didates and commissions were is
sued by the governor. 1t appears,
however, as the law quoted above
clearly shows, that but three men
we're legally elected. Mr.. Chatter
ton was the fourth man in number
of votes received and his election is
to be contested.
The editor of The CITIZEN called
the attention Of Hon. Flournoy
Rivers to it and he has begun pro-
ceedings to have the Office vacant.
An election will probably be order
ed and the vacancy supplied.
An attempt has been made to ere
ate some sympathy for Mr.. Chatter
ton by saying that the elections
have proceeded thus many years
and that the effort to GUST him now
is because he is a republican. Il
does not justify a violation of the
law now to say that it has been vic
lated heretofore. Certainly if it il
the law it ought to be enforced
We are free to say, as to the Sc c.
ond complaint, that the writer is
anxious to GUST him because he is &
republican, as well as because he il
illegally elected.
| The republicans didn't lay much
stress on the sympathy gag wher
they were stealing the presidency
They never hesitate to cut man
out or bounce him, if they can, even
when the law is against them. W.
believe in fighting the devil Will
fire. Surely no democrat will be
moved by sympathy to oppose the
ousting of a man who belor gs tc
the party who stole the presidency
and who do not hesitate to commit
any outrage necessary to rob dem
ocrats. The law is plain in thi'
case and ought to be enforced. LIE
there be only one democratic candi-
date and we can repair in part thu
damage we did ourselves election
day b. running too many men.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23
CLOTHING.

We have more Cloth
inc than we have room
for. We will sell our
stock cheap to make
room for New clothing
that we will receive
September lst. Please
call to see us. We will
make it to your inter
est.
Alternately & Lightfoot
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23
FOR SALE
ART SCHOOL.

One q Jersey COW with young calf.
Amply at this office.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23

GROUP, WHOOPING COUGH and
Bronchitis cured by Shiloh's Cure. Sold
hv A nderSOn IL Co.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23

Toilet Soap, Laundry Soap and Ex-
tracts at T. J. Wells.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23
Wool CardiDg.

1t ia a solid fact that >. 8 Chliders q
60. are headquarters for Groceries.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23
Fi009Calf for Sale.

A fine Jersey bull calf, two months
old, for sale. Apply at the CITIZEN
Oft,ce 5jTytf
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23

Merchants should price Tobacco ana
Cigars at wholesale at j. 5. Chllders "
Co.'S.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23

Maddox Porcelain China by the piece
or in sets, at T. j. Wells.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23

Three Wheeled Sulky Flows
the W orld's greatest, for sale by +. M
Bunch |-l5-4t
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23

Silverware, Chinaware, Queensware
and Glassware at Il. J. Wells.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23

For a good country ham see j. 5.
Childers q Co.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23

Dinner Sets, Tea Sets, Glassware and
Silverware at T. j. Wells.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23

Sugar, Coffee, Bacon, Flour and Lard
stT. j. Wells.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23
ChattanOOg

J. s. Childers q Co. are cheap on
Sugar. They bought large lot qefore
abe advance.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23
DYSPEPSIA. DESPAIR,
DEATH.

These are the actual steps which fol.
low indigestion. Acker's English Dys.
pepsia Tablets will both check and cure
this fearful disease. Guaranteed by
Anderson q Co.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23

! have been using Simmons Liver
Regulator myself some five years or
more, and my family also, and can tes-
thy from experience to its virtues. [
never recommend medicine unless I
know it to be good. In ministry of
twenty-five years l have often felt the
need OF such medicine and when I
found it exclaimed, Eureka.
j.. T. HARPER, Proprietor OF the "Chris-
tian Visitor" Smithfleld, NC.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23
CANDIDAT
FOR REPRESENTATIVE.

We are authorized to announce hr r. j.
ANDERSON, of Brick Church, a. candi-
date to represent Giles county in the lower
house of the legislature. Subject to the pri-
mary of Sept, LIST.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23

A nice lot of Tea Sets for So, at T. j
Wells.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23

Everybody come in and see the pref
ty things when you come to town.
L, j. WELLS.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23

We show our goods with pleasure.
T. j. WELLS.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23

We announce by authority Mr.. HENRY
ARRowapI1H candidate to represent Giles
county in IN tower house of the next gen.
eyal assembly cf the state of Tennessee, sub
ject to the nc len of the democratic primary
election.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23
Oanpbelisvi!l ,
BY sCRIBBLER.

The heavy showers which have
fallen recently have been a great
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23

Situated on 1st main street. Apply
to S-2-tf L. r hEksEf'
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23
Big Ingun.

Extra tops, Rubber and Sealing wax
Mt q. M. Bunch's. jel4-lm.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23
New BuggieS.

Buy Hecla Coal of
16ag4t L. Ii. kAlNEf, ASl.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23

Table Knives and Forks a speciality
II. j. WELLS.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23
MasOn'S Fruit j al

Turning Flows and Sorghum Millst
M Runch,s. 19-4t.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23
FOR CGNGREsS

FOR CONGRESS
We are authorized to announce Hon. w
G. WHITraoBNE a. the democratic candi-
date for Congress from this, 7th Congress
sional district. Election Nov. Sd, 1888.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23

The advantages of reliable, safe and
eihcatious Family Medicine is incalcu-
liable, and when such is found the bless.
Ing Is thus happily expressed,
EvAlos,~,z.l
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23
Shs 2alaisi Citizsu
Thursday, August %, 1888.
RAILROAD SCHEDULE.

Il AlLhOAD SUI ED u LIZ,
TRAINS PASS PULASKI.
No. 1-Fast line south $50. II :02 P. NJ.
No. 3-Fast line south 10 40 A. NJ
No. 5. Limited south - -. 2 :36 p. NJ.
No. 2-Limited north 80. 8 :2S A. NJ
No. Fast line north. -. 2 80 A. NJ
No. east line north ....... 4:3S P. NJ
The Pulaski and Nashville Accommo-
dation leaves Pulaski daily Except
Sunday at 6 O'Clock a. NJ, and ar
rives at 40 N.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1888-08-23
Hecla Coal is the best
I. II. RaineY. Agt.

WHEAT and OATS
Wanted.
CAMoDY & SoLINSKY
Fruit Cans, all kinds,
at P. M. EZell's.-
The Irish standard., 1888-01-14
Americas Lake Marine.

every year" MI. Frank Wi1keson
represents mate of lake propeller
as saying, 1--WE lose about 500 sailors
on these lakes,'' and Ms. Wilkeson's s
blood-curdling narrative goes on to
show how "death traps are used in
the lake trade, inspectors tempted to
pass them and mems lives risked on
craft '.hardly fit to sail on mill
pond" This may all be true; but the
number of lives lost last year was not
'.about 500," but 204 during the season
OF lake navigation of 1887. It was
little, if any, larger in 1885, and we
doubt if any year has ever seen ''about
500 sailors lost on the lakes. Lake
navigation has never grown as rapidly
as now. Before spring the 2o,687 tons
lost last summer will be replaced by
100000 tons of new tonnage, of which
52,254 has already been launched.
Nearly all the new tonnage is steam,
while the old was sail, forty-three OF
the seventy-three vessels lost being
schooners. This stands for a great in
crease in efficiency, and the Sault Ste.
Marie, which passed as much, or more
tonnage than the Suez Canal last sum-
mer, will probably beat the record Of
the more conspicuous marine highway
next year.-PhiladeLphi Press.
The Irish standard., 1888-01-14
"a QUAKER FUNERAL.
A Sad Ceremony Conducted in Solemn
and Ieverential Manner.

A Sad Ceremony Conducted in Solemn
and Eeverential Manner.
The spring wagon which served fora
hearse in this remote region was fol-
lowed by long line Of carriages, farm
wagons and men and boys riding on
horseback. For miles around the peo-
pie had come to pay the last sad
tribute Of respect to this aged Friend.
whose four-score years had been so
full of good works that sorrow was
universal. Child, grandchildren and
great-granec'1ildren all We're here.
The procession stopped before the little
meeting house The casket was taken
within. All being seated, the Friends
remained with bowed heads awaiting
the direction of the spirit as to how this
funeral service should be conducted.
Many minutes of silence followed.
Then middle-aged man with noble
countenance arose, and clasping his
hands above his cane, he offered up a
most beautiful prayer, commencing
the life of the departed one as grand
example for the youthful to initiate,
reciting how through many 'evere
trials she had always preserved a spirit
OF calm resignation, believing; that
.'He doeth all things we'll" When
later T. gazed upon the placid face,
where time or trouble had left scarcely
u wrinkle, and saw there sweet con-
tent and perfect peace written in char
acters all might read, knew he had
spoken most truly.
The prayer concluded, another pc
riod OF silent waiting ensued, when the
only daughter arose, and, with face
turned Heavenward, in trenn bling tones
she said: Into Thy hands, oh Father,
we commend her spirit. % 1t was a
touching sight, all the more impress
sive because it was SO different from
the established forms which govern
such occasions in ether churches.
Now the people looked upon the face
of thei, friend and neighbor for the last
time then followed her mortal remains
to the cemetery, 8 few rods distant
from the Westinghouse, and left hex
there to sleep beneath the grand old
forest trees. -Ela Z, Green. 17s Detroit
Free Press.
The Irish standard., 1888-01-14
7 PERSONAL AND LITERARY.

Bret Harte is said to be making
about $40, ,Ooo per year writing for the
Scotch and Englis,, periodicals.
-Darwin's biography has had a
great sale. The entire edition of four
thousand has been sold and there is still
a great demand for the work.
All the Territorial Governors OF
Wisconsin are dead. Nelson Dewey,
the first State Governor, is still living,
as are also ex-Governors Farwell, Sal
omon, Lewis, Fairchild, Taylor and
Ludington.
1T is said that NJ. Daudet always
reads his manuscripts to his wife before
they are sent to the publisher, and he
declares that she is his best critic.
Nine. Daudet is said to be woman OF
rare intellectual endowments, and he1
salon is one of the most attractive in
Paris. --Pst65ic Opinion.
Washington is great book buying
center In q bookstore in that city
one afternoon recently the following
well-known persons were gathered q,
the same moment: Mrs. Cleveland,
Justices Gray, Matthews and Harlan,
several members OF the Chinese Le-
cation. Secretaries Bayard and Whit
ney, Congressman French and West
and Senators Stockbridge and Ed.
munds.
The following is told OF Lord Sal
3sbury's recent oration at Oxford: He
is in the habit when speaking Of oc-
casionally wetting his lips with & little
whisky and water, and, happening to
pour out a supply Of whisky, he forgo,
the Water. and drank the spirits alone.
1t nearly strangled him at first, hui
when he recovered lie proceeded to de,
liver the most extraordinary oraLion ot
his career
1t has been said OF Alexander Cru.
den, of Concordance fame. that il mad
ness was, in his case, softened into &c.
centricity or directed to works Of use.
fulness, he WAS probably indebted fol
his escape to that absorption Of mind
which such an undertaking as the Con.
cordance must have involved. "Wha,
would have been to others intolerable
arudgery was 81 setlative to his agitajed
anind (',oth crazed with care and
crossed in hopeless love); and the
aabor which would have wasted the en-
ergies Of q happier man was the balm
Of his wounded spirit. - - Publie
Opi9zso;s.
Before the vogue OF realism be,
comes blind habit, % selyile fashion,
q mama, and in danger of getting; lost
&c all the gleam and glory Of the high
er, the larger, and therefore the true,
ideals of life, it will be well for the
mon and women OF America who feel,
OF think they feel, the resist]ess in.
spirations to vision and utterance tc
pause awhile, to look off as well as
within, to look up as we'll as down.
For there may be a bit OF good hard
sense for novelists, as we'll as for young
men, in that saying Of Emerson's when
he bids the boy glitch his wagon to q
star. ~. Chicago Inter- OceG7s.
The Irish standard., 1888-01-14
HUMOROUS.

"a Western man named Pettis
swallowed his false teeth Last week,
and can't lie down without biting him
self internally. Life,
Pittsburgh, Pa, has barber who
talks through his nose, ard this en-
ables his mouth to snatch little rest
.-BurlS72gto9s Free Press,
~-Actor-s A horse' horse! My
Kingdom for a horse!' God Of the
Gallery That's a horse chestnut,
Gully. ''--Detroit Free Press.
Van b" say, how much pref
tier the plump Miss B. is tiAan her sis
terr' Van K" Do you think SOP
much prefer the slender one" Var
B" Oh, 1 see, it's grace before meat
with you. ~ Waterbury.
Mrs. Dumpsey-s'our Bessie is the
brightest lutte child you ever saw! She
picks up every thing she hears" Mrs.
Popinjay-~"so,ne thing like our Willie.
He picks UP every thing he sees.-
Burlington Free Press,
MIR. Belda;,'s wife had eloped the
day before. my dear fellow" sad
Dunton, IL am heartily sorry for you. -
you've heard Of it, then, have your"
'.What, of your wife's elopement?
Why, it's all over town. ''Oh, then,
you didn't hear about her carrying of
my silk umbrella?"
-.'Iou seem to be enjoying your
self, Bobby" remarked one Of the
guests at dinner party. Eyes" as
sented Bobby, with his mouth full,
Il am maxim the most of it, cause
after pa an ma give big dinner like
this, it's always cold pickin' for tbs
next thirty days. ''-Rarper's Bazar.
The Lite of Humorlst.-
With digtts bedabbled with ink,
With eysltds groggy aud red,
The hunaorist sits on crazy chair
With ice attached to his head.
Think, scratch. printl
Hysterical mirth and chatf,
But the humorous sheets of the English style
Will never evoke laugh.
.-Tenas Sytings.
--..Darringer, I hear that some rob-
bers broke into your house last night.
What did they steal?' Nothing,
Bromley. They didn't get further
than the vestibule. My son came home
at midnight and they ran. Well yes;
they did steal several things .
"What?'' The house-dog, spring
gun had set for them and the bur
Rlar-alarm. .''-Harper's Bazaar.
They are in the shoe store. Mr.
Man has bought for himself a pair Of
comfortable al tics and Mrs. Man has
fitted her dainty feet with the sweetest
thing in handsome shoes the artist in
leather could design. ''How much do
I owe you?' asks Mr.. Man. Eleven
dollars and quarter smilingly says
the diplomatic clerk, ''two dollars for
the lady's shoes and nine and a quar-.
ter for Your aItlcs, SIR And his sal
cry is raised FOR he has gained for the
house Il $ stcaif fast ustoner. Belrdette,