Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1888-02-17

Vas hingto71 Critic.
THERE is not much color to gin, vet
t can scarcely be called sober tint
Epoch.
THE man who wants to have SUNDAY
abolished might compromise on havin,
Saturday night doubled.
IT is the shop pie that often fu,
nishes the piece that passeth under.
standing.-ANa California.
THERE is rotation in Office, and then
again there is potation in office. Both
are common.--Neac Haveie Ns,us.
sSrR1KE Out Like Man" was tie
title of poem that was sent in to an
editor, and he did; he struck out all
but the first verse, like a man, and
printed that.-Teras Sifti7ags.
A POET has sent us some verses en-.
titled II Would Live On" You will
have to turn your attention to some.
thing else besides poetry if you would
get something to live on.-Teras Sill.
i7ags.
A COMPLIMENT knocked out. He
Do you know, darling, such bright
thing came into my head 4 few mo.
ments ago! she-Oh, Algernon, what
was it? He-I was thinking about
your eyes! she-Why, they are in my
head Bawl;ngto11 Free Press.
"AI1rH THM1ru," he asked, as he
drew up his collar and adjusted his
single eyeglass, edo you believe in the
| Darwinian theory, believe that man is |
dethended from monkey?" "No,'
she replied, surveying him from head
to foot, II believe the very reverse. ~
Boston Courier
W1FE-George, what did you do +
with my new hat? Husband-Your
new hat? I've not seen it. Wife
Yes, you have. You took it with you
when you started down town this morn.
ing. Husband-Great snakes! Was
that your hat? I used it for my I'm.
brella cover.-ATcola Record.
Mrs. WALDO of Boston, have
letter from your Uncle James, Pene.
lope, who wants us to spend the sum.
mer on his farm. Penelope obviously
is there any society in the neighbor'
hood? Mrs. Waldo-I've heard him
speak of the Holsteins and Guernseys
presume they are pleasant people.
BRowN-You're a lucky dog, Robin.
son. So you married girl worth hall
q million dollars in her own right
Robinson (rather more sadly than the
circumstances seem to warrant)-Yes
Brown You ought to put up the
drinks. Robinson All right, old man.
Just wait while I run into the house
and sec if I can get dollar.
THE MAIDEN PAUSED.
The maiden paused q look Of pain
Stole DER her chiseled features;
Her hands flew back with might and main,
Like two unbridled creatures.
She wriggIed, painted, held her breath,
And writhed through every muscle
"Great Jove!" cried, "can this be death?
"Guess not, stranger near SAITH
"She's bunchin' out her bustle!"
-Cleucland Sun. ...
"D1D you read that thrilling story Of
eight African lions and their trainer
battling in a cage?" eyes, I read tile
story, but it didn't strike me as being
thrilling. Why, myself have often
participated in scene that's good
deal livelier than that" 20, you're
joking" "No, I'm not. I've served no
less than seven times in one Of our
State conventions on the Committee on
Contested Seats"
Mrs. MARBRo's Footman % very
slim one)-John, I hear you're leaving
your place. What's up? I thought
you were fixed for life. Mrs. Crusus
Footman Ga fat one)-So I Thought
but the missus took it into her head 70
get o new English coachman, and noF
she says I don't match him, and if
can't train down to his size in week
must go. The idea of askin' man
my physique to make skeleton
himself !-Boston Beacon,
| A FORGETFUL MANS FATE.
You see me now wreck"
A thin, pale man did mutter;
/ But yet one month ago
| Twas as fat as butter.
MY trouble! Well you know.
Invent to Saratoga,
4 And for day or 80
ate just like an ogre.
But soon my meals were served
Lukewarm. and then so frgiE
My brain became benumbed,
! My muscles all were rigid
"To pigny's size shrank,
Though once gladiator;
The cause Of 1t? you ask
+ didn't fec the waitsr!'
Hotel Mail
PHOTOGRAPHED IN FINERl.
The photographers assistant was 81
tertaining the girl who came in for LIE
Thanksgiving tintype till the artist s.
ready.
Here's funny thing in one OF the
two pictures, he said zone ci the
| Ill