Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-12-21
BOwsER's HoNEYMooN BEHAVIOR
Mrs. B0wser's Tender Memoranda.


From the Detroit Free Press.
The other evening Mr.. Bowser looked male
and weary. and felt il my duty 10 ssk il he
was III and 20 place my hand on his forehead
to see il he had fever. he was reading. and
he promptly growled out:
Mrs. Bowser. what particular object have
you in paving around after this fashion, Do
you expect another dollar?"
Don't you want me 10 cares you, Mr..
Bowser?r
Il don't want you to act 90 silly. We are too
old for such nonsense"
And vet you once expressed the hope that
we might never let an hour 60 by without =
,, Il did eh' I never expressed any such
And you further said you could sit and hold
my hand whole lifetime and not be weary"
Il never did-neverm
But can prove il. ;"
II you can I'll give you s50r'
went up stairs and got my note book Up
70 the date of our marriage preserved and
Med al his letters. On our bridal tour kept
memorandum book. Mother advised il, and
sions when Mr.. Bowser has been inclined 10
act up. When 1 came down with the book
he roared out:
Got that old book out again. have Won,
That's no evidence! brand the contents as .
base forgery
But they are facts for all that. Lets zee.
Here we start After the ceremony was ovsr
you said to mother:
statement LII will call you by the sacred
name OF mother. You have given me your ouly
daughter. will be true and loving husband
to her. will guard her as do my life. viii
word 70 her.
There it is, Mr.. Bowser, and how have you
''Never said anything Of the sort-neyer,
cont remember of your mother being there.
lou probably wrote that down this very day"
we were married at a. m, Mr. Bowser,
held my hand all the way To- the depot
Mrs. Bowser, are You crazy? Do you want
to make out that 1 was a born IDIOT"
| well. here is the proof:
~ statement u.-'As we got into the hack
Mr. Bowser had tears in his eyes He took
my hand and called me his angel, and had 70
| wipe my nose left-handed all the way TO the
depot. think the driver saw him. for / heard
MN chuckling and saying something about
! you'd get over il in about a year
There il is. Mr.. Bowser. in black and white.
This is the very paw you held for two milesi''
Il deny II IN toto! Mrs. Bowser. I've got
to SIT down and have a sharp talk with you
| The other night" continued, you were
about TO put your arm around me as we stood
in the hall, but ON sessnd thought you con-
Il am no hand to spoon, Mrs. Bowser-peyer
WAS Such things look silly in old married peo-
pie"
But You Rugged me for $50 miles"
From Detroit to Chicago, Mr.. Bowser, on
that same bridal tour"
You must be crazyi''
well, here's the proof:
| statement IIL-'Left Detroit at $40 Mr.
Bowser put his arm around me at once, and
| though the passengers winked and guyed US
for bridal couple, he said he didn't care
copper. Rugged me all the way to Chicago.
that heaven had sent me TO him. write this
| In room "A, fremont house, while Mr.. Bowser
Is down to look after the trunk"
''Ihat-thats there, is it," gasped Mr.. Bow
| ser.
"Of course it isr'
Sand 1 had my arms around you all day,
giving myself dead away?"
| "You did"
Il will never believe il, never. own ND to
being little soft in my bachelor days, but
was no hayseed. You are drifting TO a danger
Gus point, Mrs. Bowser, and you should pause
| ere it is too late!"
II like to go over the old times once in
while and see how you have changed"
Changed! Changed, That's it, IL hus-
band isn't making fool of himself all the
time his wife argues that he is growing cool
and dissatisfied. How have changed2"
You never call me your Birdie any more. I"
4 Ons uoh =. suppose you We got PROOF
that 1 used to call you Birdie, when your front
name is SARAH"
Il have, sir Listen while I read:
statement IV.-'Mr. Bowser bought some
gumdroPs OF the train-boy to feed his Birdie,
as he said, but / never liked them. He called
me Birdie from that to Chicago and back; said
it meant more to him than the name Angelr
Mrs. Bowserr' he shouted. as he Jumped
up, lis my presence desired in this house?'
| ''Of course it is
Then do not plan to drive me out of il. I
see now how wives have driven husbands 10
desperation"
Sit down, Mr.. Bowser We are simply bv-
ing over old times for brief while. 1 had to
tease you TO kiss me the other night"
Yes, and suppose you've got something
written down about that, haven't you? I'm ss
loving deposition the next man. but how
it does look to see a married couple billing and
| cooing like a couple of young idiots"
"And yet you once longed to kiss me forever. {"
.! never: never did! Don't drive me to the
wall, Mrs. Bowserr'
Il won't, but want to read paragraph to
you. Here it is:
statement v.-'Third day of our tour. I
am very, very happy. Mr.. Bowser has just
kissed me on the chin, cheeks, nose, eyes and
ears, and says he like 10 keep on kissing for
ever. He says he can hardly help biting me
on the chin"
1t was a minute before he could speak, and
the bald spot on his head was as red as paint
He finally choked down his feelings sufficiently
| to shout:
Il brand that as pure malice and forgery
Mrs. Bowser, you must take that back and
apologize to me-"
How can II I read it just as it was written,
| and can recall the circumstance. Don't you
| know, we had Just returned from
Never! We never returned Nothing Of
the sort ever happened! deny il on my dy-
ing bedr
you'll next declare you never cried in In
dianapolis when hurt my finger, and that you
bound it up in q handkerchief wet with your
tears"
"Declarel OF course I'll declared I'll swear
on forty Bibles that never did,
With that he rushed up stairs, but followed
him to the landing and read:
Statement Enthusiastically pinched my
finger in the door. Mr.. Bowser said IL was his
fault, and the first knew he was weeping.
After wiping his eyes on his handkerchief he
proceeded to do up my finger in the same. He
has a very tender heart"
knew Mr.. Bowser was listening over the
banister, and 90 maliciously added:
"And, with little practice, will no doubt be-
come the champion weepist Of the world"
He uttered a snort and growl and went Oh
to bed without a word, but next morning he
put in an extra ten minutes frolicking with the
baby, and when ready to 60 he said 70 me:
by the way, darl, you'd better 60 down and
pick you out a sealskin sack to-day. was
going to get it for Christmas, but you might -