The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1888-11-14
JIM's WAR STORY.

living III certain up-toNH boaEulH
house. Il great fayorfte with sh
young ladies' Of the house, who us
him MS lay figure for the display .
numberIexs little eoqaetfies addr@se
10 the ssnslbilities Of younger mel
Besides his honorable position IS old
est Inmate. he enjoys reputation 10
good natnred willingness to act a
escort TO the escogtIess, and for litil
renefosiiies in the way Of theafe
tickets, oyster suppers and ice-crean
parties which has long secured to hir
the devoted adherence OF all the rnsF
propriated misses.
Lately, however, his supremacy !
this special realm has been dispute
by the major, and an old fellow equal
grizzied, good-natured and gene
rouS. though hampered with Sigh
ineumbrance in the shape OF wits
She Is a little woman. however. easii
overlooked, and seemingly quite IN
different 10 the open iiirtations carrie,
an between her husband and a hal
dozen laughing girls,
since the advent Of the major
strong rivalry has sprung up, not .
the rash reader may suppose Detweef
him and Bachelor Jim. but betseei
The Young ladies on their behalf. =
porfion Oh these, having fallen ava,
from their first love. have set up pre-
tense that the major possesses supe
rior charms which not only JUSTIFY bu
compeI this secession. a pretense
hotly contested by the faithful.
The major Is somewhat porly u
person and pompous In diction ant
loves much the sound OF his ONT
voice. which il often upiifted IN mar
rations OF personal experiences, ans
especially exploits OF yalor performed
BY him during the war between th'
states.
Rachelor Jim on the other hand !.
ANAL and lean. with square, reticenl
east III countenance. illuminated b,
twinkling black eyes and a cneerIu
smile lurking in perpetual amousi
under gray, stuhby mustacne;
Itisa difficult feat TO launch iiin Or
the conversational stream, and siii
more difficult to keep him aiioat aitei
he IL launched, and IL Is here that I'M
majors partisans make their stront
point in favor OF their candidate, who's
neyer-failing fund OF anecdote the,
perpetaaily yaunt.
The other evening after the maJol
had related with much eclat one OF hi.
best stories. Miss Valeria. the leader o
the Bachelor Jim faction, suddenly ex
claimed:
weren't you in the war, Mr.. Stark
weather." t'sBachelor Jim" Is only |
pseud0nym used 10 designate him be
hind his back.I
YES. was in IT," said Bachelo
Jim with little extra twinkle in hi
black eyes.
"oh, Mr.. starkweatherl'' choruse,
his party. "You never told us that
Come, now, tell us war story ant
you shall be forgiven
81 don't know any war story
WHAT Were you never In battle p
questioned the leader severely.
"oh, yes, was in dozen battles,
awell, then, tell us about them
There's nothing 10 tell went In
and came out.
"You didn't shoot anybody"
Perhaps, ! don I know
And YOU we're never shot. nor takei
prisoner, nor anything
Eyes. yes, admitted Bachelor Jim
evidently delighted 10 have discovered
something so satisfactory in his pas
experience. II was taken prisone
once"
"will YOU see that. now" erie,
Miss Valeria, estaticaliy. "Wha
x,xalaatxst A f.1rfarf ..ttt,A - hars.t
adventure locked up in his bosom. ans
he has never so much rs limited az Il
Go on, now at once, and tell u
about Il. Where was III"
well. II was up in Missouri"
ain Missouri oh. how nice view
never had Missouri war story yet
What battle was II in7H
II wasn't In battle
What not in battle7 Why, wher
were your
81 was riding along the road.
"Oh, out on scout, suppose"
"No. was going 30 buy hogs"
An unmistakabie litter was audibl
from the outside, bat Miss Naleria lii
not finch. She was convinced tina
Bachelor Jim had a war story con
csaled about him equal 10 the major
best, and she was bound that he shout
produce IL.
We'll" she said sweetly. s'and VIII
shouldn't thes let YOU buy hogs, il yoi
wanted too | don't see Anythin
criminal In il, -
'.oh, they didn't know was goin
TO buy hogs, exclaimed Bachelor Jim
ioiRing amicably in the now one
laughter of the majors faction. "fol
tunate for me they didn't, for | ha
SGnoo in greenhacks ON me. and they
NV shot me in twinkling IL they'd U
suspected i, .
Mercy how perfectly awfnlrn eS
claimed his admirers.
"0h. yes. they'd Nv shot me sure
he repeated with conviction. "Yo
see Il was the Red Legs
Good graciousl the Red Legs - ex
claimed Miss Valera, much impressel
by his sanguinary appellation. "wh
are theyf"
"They were band OF Kansa
thieves and not soldiers az all. F" ex
plsined the major.
''Stiil they had an ugly trick a
shooting, said Bachelor Jim.
Very .tsue," admitted the major
hlandly.
"Rut that makes il ever 50 mucl
more interesting, chimei in Mis-
Vaieria. 1T gives sort Of Italian
flavor, You know, of the hfirandS an,
all that, ven know. ! suppose the
demanded ransom7s
Ransom p repeated bachelor Jim
with a chnckle Not much. iidn'
look like | was worth cents. I wa
s.lx q
ever saw. with an old boot on one foo
and shoe on a the other. and nv hal
sticking out through half Dozen hole
in the crown of my hat. was likei
looking customer to talk about ran
soming. Besides that wasn't thei
style OF doing things
Nv heavens the idea of going I.
buy hogs In that sort OF costume 81 eS
claimed one Of the Opposite faction
I'D have gone and bought sosie de
cent clothes
=" lint Won don't understand. sal,
Bachelor Jim. with another chuekle
Il iii IS a purpose, don't Won see
IL Ia NV heen dressed M they 'ud u
suspected | had money. and besides
there was man in the gang that ha,
worked for me and Ia discharged 10
stealing, and nav game wonld NV heel
up in a iiAy i he nv recognized nae.
"nh how perfectly awful ex
claimed Miss Nsieyia again. "Weren
You awfullv frightenedF"
Wei. ia rather they'd NV let sae G,
along and huy mv hogs, admitte,
Bachelor Iim.
reckon 50. said the major. laugh
ing "Where did YOU have yoa
money hid p"
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