The National tribune., 1888-07-05
The omniscient Hotel Clerk.
LChfcnno HernId. !


Now, that name, " said the hotel clerk, run
ming his diamond-hited finger down the regis
ter and pausing at the name of Gurlproat
that name is a fraud. That man is travelling
iucog., and there is something crooked about
him.
Why do I think so? Why, I almost know
it-in fact do know it intutively 1t is my
business to be familiar with names, and the
derivation Of them. Now, there is no such
name as Gurlproat. 1t is a machine name,
manufactured for an emergency, something
like the characters in Dickenss noves-the
Veneerings, Podsnaps, Weggs, Dorrtts, Jaggers,
Nicklebys and Chuzzlewits. | am obliged,
you know, to be sharp in my business. ! tell
you he is fly fakir from Fiytown. He is
queer one, and you can bet high on that
Now, there is a man." continued the hotel
clerk, pointing to another square-toed speci-
men of caligraphy, 81 that man Jones, there,
A. O. Jones' he's all o. K. There is no subter-
fuge about him. He comes in and planks down
his gripsack, deposits roll of bills in the safe,
calls for a stylus, indorses the register, and
there you have it straight and fat footed. A.
@. Jones, $4,000 in his roll in the safe. He isa
man who viii do TO tie up to- We have to be
good judges of human nature in this business,
! tell you, and are obliged to be teetOtally and
strictly sharp. But Jones is solid with this
house lie has been here week now, and
have advanced him $500 or $500 on his roll.
0u are sure IEe ron contains money are
YOU 2" inquired the reporter, carelessly.
Sure Why, it is an express package,
sealed, and the amount marked on the corner.
| Guests often leave them with us for security"
Z" should want to know it was all right be-
1 fore | loaned my money on it," pursued the
reporter.
| That's where you would insult guests and drive
/ trade away. But the sharp clerk spoke this
| little uneasly-"just to show you what a
/ square man Jones is, I'll send up this bill"
! aud the clerk proceeded to sound the loud tim
! brel, which summoned bell-boy.
Here, run up to 50 with this" said the
clerk
While the bell boy was on his mission the
/ suspicious GurlProat came up to the Office to
settle his bill.
That's he-Gurlproat" said the clerk,
| forming the words with his mouth without
mttering d sound, eight dollars and quarter
! two days and a haIfo
"Hey?" says the depised Gurlproat.
1.-TWO days and a half-eight and quarter,
answered the clerk, winking at the reporter.
Eight dollars"
"Eight?"
"And quarter"
"AI rieht-correct," and Mr.. Gurlproat ten
dered SO bill. The sharp clerk spent five
minutes critically examining ard testing The
same. While doing so the suspected guest OBJ
served:
If Col. James Gurlproat, of Montgomery
Ala. calls for me, please tell him l have gone
to Washington"
THE hotel clerk looked suddenly up and hi
face was ike circus poster giided by the ray
Of sunset.
Are you Congressman Gurlproat, of Ala
bama?" he inquired.
"Hey?"
Are you Congressman Gurlproat, of Ala
bama
No, I am his brother. am Judge Curl
proat, formerly Of the Supreme Bench"
He had his change, and in another ins'an
the porter was obsequiously escorting him ou
10 carriage.
why" exclaimed the clerk, its singula
/ happened to forget that Gurlproat family Q
Montgomery. 1t just beats all Funny, ism
it, when you miss a mans name"
The bell boy returned at this interestin
juneture Of the proceedings with startling in
formation that a. q Jones had skipped, ba
and baggage, hook, line and sinker foot, hors
and dragons. The clerk turned white and hi
/ finger shook like splinter on rail in th
, wind, as he suddenly went down into the sal
, after the express passage. lie ished it up tor
off the end, and proceeded 10 shake out
generous wad of newspaper clippings, some
it gems Of poetry, the balance choice extrac
from the humorous papers and medical readin
9 notices