Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1888-08-24
THE ARTICLE WAS GOOD.
/ But Somehow or Other II Didn't
Please the Mnn IL hmm or talized.

knows, whether they ever saw him
or not. used 10 run little daily paper
in Peoria, Ill writes +. III. Carruth in
the New York Tribune. believe it was
PeorIa-anyhow. it was the paper he
enjoyed running so mach. because
there was never any uncertainty about
it. lie knew positively every Monday
morning that there wouldn be enough
money TO pay the compositors Satur-
day night.
He hadn't written so much good
humor then as he had since. but il u.s.
ed TO crop out once in while-hc
couldn't help it. One day promin-
ent citizen of Peoria got into trouble
with n hackman about the amount OF
his charge or some thing. and took of
his coat and fought him all around the
block. He made it red day for hack
men. too. The next morning Burdette
had nearly column about il. There
had been so much space to fill and he
turned his fancy loose and filed it, lie
had laughed about it quietly to him
self all the way home that night after
he wrote it. and in the morning read
it over TO SEQ if the bows had got it set
up all right, and smiled sort of inward
ly to himself again.
About the middle of the afternoon the
man who had the trouble came in.
Burdette trembled little at first, be-
cause he didn't know how he might
have taken it. but the man wore Il
/ broad grin on his face and seemed 10
be very tekled over it.
THAT was a good one on me in the
HoUlsr this morning." said the man.
"Er-yes-do you think SOP" said
Burde te.
"Oh. pital-took il Off first-clas.
Did YOU write it?'
'Oh. yes. | scratched it of in a hur
ry last night. We have 10 take some
thing to fill up"
"Of course. But it was really good.
didn know you could do rs well as
that" went on the man 'cnth usiastlcal-
ly.
"Oh. didn't think much of it," re.
turned Burdette. modesly. "It | hat
only | tile more time perhaps
might have made something out oil
it."
"Oh. YOU had time cnough-plenty
OF time, l assure you. 1t was fine. o.
course | didn't really do all you said
did"
oh, of course not. Certainly not.
Got 10 have something lively in &
newspaper. YOU know
Il see--especially in a live loca
paper.
You understand it "
IL think so. OF course | didn't vel
like a man with his foot in a lawn
mower all the time was having the
controversy."
oh, move have TO exaggcrate ;
little"
II see. And then l didn't raise tn,
hickman up and pound the face of the
earth with him till the police stopped
me for wear ne ont the paving"
mo, not at all-had to make it live
ly, you know"
'Of course. Then I didn't chase
him into the country half mile, did
nUwP'
81 never heard that you did. / ius'
slipped that in. You know a loca
paper. ~
II understand Then of course
didn' roar so coming back that people
thought there was a hail-storm com.
ingp"
"Oh you didn't roar at all. l mad,
that part up TO make it lively"
IL thought so. Then I didn't stant
on the corner and howl till was tree
and saw l could lick any hackman who
ever looked through collar, and &C
around the streets cracking my heel,
together and saying was from Bitter
/ rYHpE hnpn IL Nvalpft ,kot T.
wide. "
'Of course not-nothing of the kind
at all. just put them in-got to in a
small town with daily paper, you
see.''
81 notice you have to. 1t was a
funny piece. take it altogether
Yes. | thought perhaps it was a
little funny, admitted Burdette, n lit
tie uneasily.
~ ou say in it the hackman was Z
small man?'
Why, yes, rather small, l under.
stood.
Probably not as small as you are9"
"Oh. n-no, | presume not. I'm not
very Big, you see. Pleasant weather
we re having. Major"
. Aces. very pleasant-a little cold
for hackmen and some editors know
Of Probably. then. if | licked the
hackman there wouldn't be any doubt
but that | could lick you?"
''Oh, n-no; no, sir; not particle OF
doubt Going to the caucus tonight,
COLI nel?"
Il expect 10 be there. but you won {
you'll be in the hospital, on little,
insign iicant. one horse country edit
or, and he reached out and got
Burdette by the collar. Chased the
man out beyond the fair grounds. did
/? Reared like tho e'ght-thirty express
coming back. did II" and he began
iabbing Burdette up and down like the
dasher of an old-fashioned churn. .'Mv
actions would have made a fish laugh.
ehP Howled around till | made the
worlds back ache did -" and all the
time he was dancing around the office
with Burdette at arms length. "Oh,
you re going to be the great American
humorst No doubt of it at all, You'll
make the universe double up and roll
on the grass some davi You re funny.