Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-08-11
DOCTOR INGERSOLL.
The Amiable Skeptic Gives His Views on
Medical Treatment.


Col. Robert G. 1ngersoll has his ideas
on doctors, and physics, and medical
treatment as well as on some other sub
jects.
There Is altogether too mulch gloom
about most sick chambers" said he.
People tip-toe in and out, and wear long
faces, and act generally in way that
would make even a we'll man sick, and
is bound to make sick man worse. 1
believe many man has been hurried
across the dark river by his horrible,
soul-depressing treatment who might
have become we'll, and strong, and USE
full, if he had more sunshine and fresh
mir in his room, or the odor of flowers
to offset the smell of the drugs, and
smiling, hopeful countenances about,
instead of woe-bcgone visages, whose
every glance betoken the loss of hope
and the belief in the speedy dissolution
of the pain racked patient.
Il had friend once named Haley, o
royal good fellow, of whom L thought
a great deal. On one occasion l re-
ceived word that my old friend was
dying and wanted to see me, so L went
over to his house. met his wife and
she had IL face as long as the moral
law and ten times more uncomfortable.
Well, [ went to see Haley, and there he
lay counting the moments in bitter
fear that each would be the last. |
don't know what particular disease he
was troubled with, but either that or
the medicine had turned him vivid
saffron color. Haley said /, I'll be
hanged if I'd want to die with such a
complexion as that. You would be in
pretty plight to go incoming about the
other world looking like a Chinaman.
L went on for few minutes when the
poor fellow began to enter into the
spirit of the subject himself and |
showed him his face in looking glass,
and that brought smile. Then L
turned to his weeping wife and told her
to cheer up, that Haley was not going
to die; that he was good for twenty
years to come.
"'The trouble with your husband is
that he is scared to death, | said. You
all come in looking so downcast and
sorrowful that you give him the i'm
preston that he is done for and take
away all his courage to fight against
his Sickness
We'll, the result of all this was that
Haley commenced to mend and time
and again since then he has said that
my visit saved his life.
"On another occasion there was
Major in the army, whom [ knew very
WELL He was taken i'll and believed
he was going to die. [ believed he
was merely homesick, or something OF
that sort. Well, [ wrote his obituary
and went to see him in his tent.
"'Major,' [ said, you are SO sure Of
dying that | have written your obituary
and want to read it to you He pro-
tested, but kept on with the reading
and detailed every pleasant incident of
his life. Before l finished smile fit
ted across his face. After the obituary
I read him story of something that
was supposed to have taken place a
year after his funeral. 1t was de-
scription of his widows second mar
riage. There were good many more
people at the wedding than at the fu
neral. Well, this treatment had the
effect to change the current of the
Majors thoughts. 1t broke up his
Authorizations, and he recovered and
did good service during the war, and
lived happy life for years after.
Then there was a man from our
town named Marcy. He got it into
his head that he was going to die. At
that time no one was allowed to leave
the army for visit to the North, ex-
ccpt on sick leave, or occasionally to
accompany the remains of dead com
rade. | saw Marcy and said to him:
Now, Marcy, You say you are going to
die. If that is 50 [ don't suppose that
a few days one way or the other will
make much difference to you. ] want
to go home for a day or two about the
18th, but cannot get leave of absence.
Now, if you want to do me very great
favor and quj,, this life, say on the 18th,
L can get D:y coveted leave of absence
to take You home-see?' But [ knew
my man and he didn't die. He got
very ansry instead, and recovered, but
he declares to this day that it was my
proposition that brought him back his
old stubbornncss and gave him grit to
fight for his life. He always did object
to being made mere convenience of. :"