St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-04
forms the conductor that he or she

1t is only the Ordinary >otOl
forms the conductor that he or she
would
LIKE TO GET OFF
| at Nina avenue, for instance, meaning
thereby, as has been learned by eXper-
fence, that he or she, and its generally
| the latter, would like to be personally
informed when the particular seat in
which they are placed reached line di-
recty opposite the curbstone on the
corner of Nina and Selby avenues. The
train moves on, and at each and every
crossing the conductor in sonorous
| tones informs everybody who may be
| fortunate enough to possess a pair OF
ears capable of hearing a cannon eX-
plode, the name of the street, and if
any one responds. either by word or ac-
| ton. he stops his train and permits
their departure without any further
fuss. at last Nina avenue is reached,
and as usual he calls out to his pasSen-
gers, and it happens that no one wants
to get Off; so he goes right along to con-.
vey those who do not, of course, care to
experience unnecessary stops just to
go through the form of it,; and
the "wlde-awake'i individual who left
stick of wood and goes on with the bal
ance. Just before he reaches the power
house he wakes up and takes notion
to inquire how soon he might expect to
reach Nina avenue; whereupon be is
informed that the street has been left
behind some time ago. {
'Weil, cOnf0und you, anyway Gf it's
a NAM, didn't | tell you to call me
when we reached Nina avenue, and -
- p"
II called out the street, and no one
answering went on. 49, - 60 - = -
But you didn't call me?" - SC -
mo, of course not. If [ should I'M
dertake to personally call upon every
fool that asks me to | could do nothing
else, and if you would get, up and Off
when your street is called you would
NOT BE IN THIS FIN" 80 =
Dogs are not allowed to ride, and as a
lady, with her pug in her arm, attempts
ed to board the car the other day she
was informed of this rule.
but | will hold him in my lap
That matters not, madam; the rule
is, mo dogs and so it must be-" -G1
well, what will | do? Ican't carry
him away up on Dayton avenue. Dear
me; won't you, please, and - - p, -
''Go hire hackr" yelled voice from
inside, and the disappointed lady found
her way to the sidewalk.
Then there are those who are always
getting up as soon as the conductor rings
the bell for stop. and just as they have
all gained their feet lunge forward or
backward, as the case may be, and ere
ate no end of annoyance to those still
sitting. Keep your seat until the car
stops and you will not, if you're a mem
Der of the fair sex. be put to the mortifi-
cation the young lady was about month
ago, who, unable to sit still a second
longer than was absolutely necessary,
jumped up just as the car began slack
ing up, and, when it came to the screech
ing jerk, she was pitched headlong for
ward and was only saved from a severe
mangiing of her pretty face by her
| skirts, which caught on the back of the
seat, elevating that portion of her habil-
iment which seldom gets the opportull-
ity SO publicly, Had she waited until
all was still she could have walked out
| of the car like queen, where, on the
other hand, she sought her home with a
torn dress. A blush
| AS RED AS A BEET.
| Another instance that happened here
| the other day. Instead of tearing her
dress, this lady fell into the lap of a gen
| tleman just behind her who would have
| been glad to have given her his seat had
| she not disabled him from leaving it.
| He was Small-SiZed dude and she
| weighed somewhere near 200. y
| A fond father, accompanied by his two
| little girls, whom he had always taught
| to tell the truth, boarded the train at
| Cedar street last Saturday night, and as
| he pulled out 10 cents for the conductor,
he remarked that he would pay for him
self and one child, stating that the other
was less than five years old and entitled
| to free ride.
why papaw says the little girl, Il
am nearly seven"
The conductor settled the dispute on
payment of a nickel. aa
A lady from Minneapolis tried the
| same chestnut Thursday morning. re-
marking that she never paid fare fof'
| her children in that city, Wherenpen
some one asked her what she fed her
babies on and if she would sell half
interest in the reciIe.
The questions that are daily put to
the men running the trains are simply
marvellous inventions of ignorance. 1t
was not long ago that the ever present
animal dude jumped upon the platform
and inquired of the conductor: 81 say!
How does this thing run, anyway"
| ducror sardonically. .ye..-
"Well, is that thing up there" point
ing to the register, 1.-The steam gauge?"
YES"
swell. I swar! it takes deuced little
steam to run this ere thing-only four
| pounds" There had just been four
| fares collected.
An Indian from Mendoza, who thought
he'd risk his precious life by taking a
| ride. actually set his old watch by the
same register that the bright mind of
the dude judged to be steam gauge.
It's hard to say which was the worst.
| Why even a st. Paul attorney asked
| this silly question of the conductor the
other day-How long after the right
| side of the cable starts, before you feel
it on the left?
Just think of such question of a
lawyer, when he knew the cable was
continuous cord.
They were splicing the cable at Seven
corners the other day, and yesterday
| morning gentleman was overheard
asking whether they did not splice the
cable in that particular place just about
| as we reached Seven corners; and upon
| being answered in the affirmative, he
| replied: 81 thought So; can feel it
as we so over it every time we come to
this part.o
A young lady and gentleman, evil
IDENTIFY q newly married couple, sank
! down into seat on the grip not long
ago, and as the conductor came around
to collect the fare, the gentleman
| quoted the following into the ear OF the
"con.," and was answered accordingly.
"Please call us when we reach Arun
| del street."
"All right; just leave your shoes out
side the berth, so that | won't forget"
The mischieyeous boy is forever per-
petrating his wicked schemes upon the
cable conductor: but is generally
| nahbed and given the worst of it. Some