Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1888-08-16
EXPLAINING HIS TITLE.

How Military HOnors Were Thrust Upon
and Worn by an Innocent Victim.
The Chico Enterprise, in a spirit of i'll
nature toward the able and witty editor of
the San Francisco Alta. John P. Irish, de-
clares that the title of Colonel, by which
Mr.. Irish is sometimes addressed, was &C.
quired by his refusal to volunteer, and by
his having been drafted and having fur
nished substitute and that, in derision,
| the loyal women of the town in which he
lived presented him with tin toy sword
and called him Colonel" Mr.. Irish's re-
ply, which is appended below, deserves a
conspicuous place in the humorous litera-
ture of the country:
Perhaps the Enterprise editor never bore
the burden of title. If not, we envy him.
Perhaps he Is kentuckian, and was born
Colonel. If so, it is worn like any other
congenital deformity, in contentment. be-
cause be never knew the pleasure of not
having it.
We desire to disavow having been drafted.
! and the tin-sword story. They are valuable
campaign lies, we know, and it may be
unprofessional to kill them off so young.
None but the author of their being knows
the anxiety and care lavished upon them
before they were thought fit to join the
procession along with British free trade,
and the other story about British gold
being sent to the President. But we are
compelled to deny these two lies. not to
deprive their author of the innocent pleas
ure Of paternity, nor with desire to rob
his party of any needed argument where
with TO influence the judgments OF men
We deny them only in a spirit of fairness
to ri no tor hor of i'll
whom we associate, some of whom were
| bern Colonies and others of whom had
Co,onelcy thrust upon them. Many OF
them are our fellow-sufferers, and they
have the right to know that the Chico En-.
terErise errs not only in calling Colonel"
a military title, but in its circumstantial
narrative of the involuntary acquisition of
that:ttle by the unfortunate member of
|thefraternity to whom If unfeelingly re
kaFs.
Colonel" is no more CD evidence that
tie person addressed by that title has
cAothei mis- neck with thunder and worn
red sash bias across his front elevation than
calSzlg e saloon " The Alhanbra (" is evil
deDee that it is the original palace of the
MooEs where the fountains used to tinkle
and followers of the Prophet sat cross
legged in tie midst of a family circle COM
posed Ct q large number OF wives.
Inc EexstitIuau III WuOss oenelA we Cls-
avow the Enterprise narrative was not
known aEd hated as Colonel prior to his |
advent y On this coast. As al adventist |
he was still &nple-minded private citi- |
zen, usually sddSSSsed by those TO whom |
be was introduced IS "old hoss," and fond |
titles of that kind Debts. executions and |
a sense of relief in Ne community which |
he left-all may have followed him, but
the tide of Colonel he found here, as
one o6Ehe products of the glorious climate
OF California 1t wss conferred upon him
by the genial Flournoy, himself a sure
enough Colonel, who has worn by rights
the shoulder straps. belly band and all
other harness belonging to the lille, and,
the incumbrance, did
lome hard fighting for the lost cause He
ound the victim as pure as snow go to
'pe5k, and baptized hin with that bloody