The Washington critic., 1888-03-10
WAXEM'S PLEASUHNG.
The WaybaCk Statesman Finds Some
Dissipation During Lent
But IN A MILD FORM.
He Adhcrcs Strictly TO Lcntcn Reg
ulations and Goes Slow.


the Arlington.
'tHow d'y," replied the Jedge, warmly
"Come in and set down awhile. I'm goin
out to make sociable call at eight o'clock,
and aint got hate to do tell that time
except talk, and like to talk when thar
mnt no keers of State TO poster me.'
The scribe accepted the invitation and
went in.
"I thought you had retired from So
ciety," he suggested as he sat down.
"Well, have; leastways public society;
but n statesman's got TO gin round some
and kinder keep the wheels creased, you
know. got acquainted with many val
uble people durin' the season, and | can't
afford TO drap EN- now. Besides eff me
and Mandy makes up our minds to settle
down in Washington, in case was elected
Senator'-the Jcdge's eyes took on u
yearning look-"er something like that
wen have n social foundation to build
on ef | keen the bricks together and don't
lose what I've made. Society is purity
nigh as powerful rs politics ef q man has
got the right kind of woman to handle it
fer him, and I'm bettin' on Mandy fer
anything like that"
What have you been doing this
week ?"
what haint been doin, you mean.
- "a ~
Boat Club Fair and the Shakespeare pam
demomium, er whatever they call it, be-
sides oppery every night, and | like OPP
perry the way Emmy Abbott dishes it up.
She's my style every time, and we had
her out to Wayback when we opened our
Agricultural and Mechanical Lecture Hall
several yers ago"
"Do you like Fairs? They are Just
little on the chestnut order aint they?
mot bit of it, young feller. j like q
picnic in the open fields of Mater bet
tern any other kind of sociability, and u
Fair is n picnic under shelter. ! went to
the G.. A. II. Fair with two or three fel-
ler-Members of the House t'other night,
and you oughter seen the purity girls
cluster round us like lot OF hummin'
birds about bunch of rosies It's funny
how women always take to Congressman,
aint it2 AT fust took it for a compel
ment, but when they all begun to chatter
and ask me to.take chanceat somethin'
er other didn't want, ljust throwed up
my hands and shelled out every doggone
cent of change had in my pockets"
"Did they get all You had2h
mo, not quite, fer later on give boy
chance on a bicycle, two little girls
chance apiece on dolls, and flower bas-
kets and so forth, and then pulled in my
horns and walked round like q million
aiTe.n
"How's that, Jedge?"
"Lookin' nifty pore, and shown the
kids out ofthe way that asst him fer
nickel"
"You didn't do that way very long, did
your
"Well,lt 'peared nifty long, but reckon
it wasn't moren about ten minutes. Then
cut loose agin and had sight of fun,
buyin' rattle paddles and drinkin' lemon
ade, and raHn' in purity bricker- backerie
fer my apartments. Thar was lots of
good-lookin' girls round all the time, and
ef Mandy had q saw me lavishin' my
smiles right and left reckon thar would
been some personal illusions to me that
policy would u prevented me replyin' to.
Mandy's leetle funny that away, and
reckon most wives is; they kinder think
that ther husbands has only got so many
smiles to lavish, and that wives has got
monopoly on the whole business"
"Well, haven't they" queried the scribe.
~ reckon we might as well let 'em
think So" said the Jedge, rubbing his
chin slowly. "But as / was sayin'," he
continued, MANDY wasn't thar, and |
sailed in and had nifty good time, and
so did my feller Members. | noticed
while was thar how much good it does
man to travel in furrin parts. Over on
one side of the room they've got gallery
of fine art, and one section of it is took up
by picters by the old Masters Well,
when we seen the sign up over the door
one of my colleagues which is a Demo-
crat says to me: These q. A. r. fellers is
Lound to revive sectional preiudices and
open up old sores How? says |. Look
thar, says he, 'thar's sign old Masters,
and I'll bet hat they've got lot of
shackles, hosswhips and other slavery
relics set up in thar to fire the Northern
bosom In course I'd been wallerin'
in old Masters fer three months last
summer, and was c0Wn0sier in that style
of art, and when / explained to him what
'old Masters was he had to drap two dol
lars of his salary in the g. A. X. till and
take it out in treat. You see, eff that
statesman had travelled he'd saved two
dollars and good deal of wear and tear
n,ns on his fesias' ss'an ltpays to go to Europe
The scribe said he hoped to be able to
20 some day, and asked the Jedge what
he thought Of the Potomacs' Fair.
tits immense" he replied, enthu-
siastically. "Taint like the G.. A. r. one,
because thar we've got the old soldier fer
sentiment clingin' to him. Us statesmen
air pertickerly proud of him, fer he fit to
give us n country to legislate fer, and eft
hadn't been fer him we might be
shovelin' dirt on q railroad to-day. in
Canady, er somethin' else jist as laborious
and disagreeable. and as long as he has
got q vote it's our bounden duty TO stand
by him. The Potomac Fair amt that
kind, but it is deservin' of praise in its
own line. I'm IN favor of boat clubs, feI
we amt got no navy worth mentionin'
andef we don't make some sort of show
on the water our amphibiousness as Q
Nation will git to be the laughin''
East, ef it amt got thar already
j didn't stint with my money al
the Potomacs either. Me and my land
lady went down thar together and shC
was the liberalest woman with my salary
i have saw in many day. l liked to Q
throwed my arm out of int with bear
bags at cent throw and then paid {
quarter TO have mighty doggone purity
girl in gipsy tent tell my fortune. Th'
fortune wasn't much, but the way sh'
held my hand was wuth the money
She seen me smile at my landlady anC
told me | was to wed fair and beautifu
lady that was not fer off, and then sh,
said after lookin' me over keerful, eff
wasn't preacher had missed my calm
Contemplatin' future residence in tn,
National Capital, l bought few vote
fer that $4,000 house, and I've got ZEN
laid away now, but ! aint buyin' am
furniture fer the house yit. Thar's TIM
enough fer that bime-by."
"pvegot ticket in that myself" sale
the scribe.
'It'sa mighty cheap way to git a house
ef you git II, remarked the Jedge, re
flectiyely.
~ aint lucky, though" he went on
'ler all the Tailie paddles l bought neve
fetched me in q single artickle and
reckin must a had two hundred chance
out of all the paddles | invested in.
was squaT deal, too, fer onct when
got three and a man next to me got one
he raked in the prize. | seen big lot o
purity girls agin, and every time / go an.
place I'm jist dazed with astOnlshmen