Morning journal and courier., 1888-12-13
 RARR0WRUL.

You can never judge of 8 mans sorrow by the sighs of his hat band.-Harper's Weekly
 A survivor of the famous "Light Brigade is now plumber in Indianapolis. He still knows how to charge.-Terre Haute Ex- press.
 Jinks-'How is your new book, The Way to Wealth. coming onf' Minks-"1t's 6n- ished, but oan't find publisher" "Why don't you publish it yourselfs" "Can't afford t."-Philsdelphia Record.
 Miss Shawsgarden of St. Louis-"Oh, yes I am proud of our sity. We have changed the saying about Naples to 'ses St. Louis and die.'n Miss Dearborn of Chicago-"Indeed. Is 1t so suddenf-America.
 Customer (to waiter)-I say, waiter, con- found you, there's fly in this soup.
 Waiter (amazed) We'll, I do decla' if il yain't surprisin'l Ebe1ything seems to be gittin' in de soup nowadays.-Life.
 "Three dollars for 8 jack rose Why, isn'i that very high, Mir. Buddr'
 ''Wsll, it would seem so," said MT. Budd
 "but that September wheat deal has put the price of flower away up."-Harper's Bazaar. Smith (to defeated candidate)-You don' seem te be so tickled as you were just before election.
 Defeated candidate (gloomily)-No; have
 been scratched by my Acknowledgements Republican.
 Patient-My lungs are badly affected, doc tor; and have been told that whisksy fl good for my case What dye thinkG Doctor (thoughtfully) is good for consumption, but not for the lungs Lowell Citizen.
 Reason for Joy-"Ahl' exclaimed the mat
 ter-of fact man joyfully, as he saw the head f'so they've arrested some of those confound' ed poets st st, have theyl Wouldn't I like to be on the jury. y."-Harper's Bazaar. "What lovely picture" said Cora in tht art gallery.
 stHush, my dear," replied Mrs. Brown "Don't you know better than to praise { painting in public unless it is so black witf age that you can't see ita'-Nsw York Even' ing Sun.
 The same old voter.-"Hawl" remarked Lord MacEnoch; ''I like America very we'll ye know; but, then, you have no actiquitieI l here" Haven't eha" returned Carpsr; ''i seems to me that the countryman who ostra cized Aristides showed up pretty numereusl, at the last election. ."-Puck. A Reward of Merit-Bank teller-"Wil you take it as presumption, madam, if ! offer you these few roses!" Miss Caramella Goldust-s'I don't know you, sir!" Banl teller-s'I am aware of that; but you are tn | only woman in the history of this bank wh' | ever endorsed check on the right end. "- | Puck.
 "And now, children" remarked the Sun day school superintendent, "what happened | to those wicked people who reviled Noah ant refused to heed his warnings Where di' | they find themselves when the flood camel ''In de soup!" exclaimed class of newsboy on the back seat with one voice. Chfcag l Tribune.
 Obedient Boy.---"Mamma, may I speaks
 "You know that you must not talk at table,
 ssMay I not say just one thinga" ''No, m!
 boy When papa has read his paper you ma, speak" (Papa reads through his paper ant
 says, kindly)--Now, child, what is ita' s' only wanted to say that the water pipe il the bath room has burst. --Fliegende Blatter | Railroad superintendent-Any of the pas
 senger cars need repairinga Head examiner-Yes, sir. No. 306 is il very bad shape; ought to go to- the shop a | once.
 Railroad Whats the mat | teri
 | Head examiner---Two of the windows ar
 so loose that any ordinary man can rais | them, sir.---Time.