Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-11-23
IDEAL MARRIAGE.
Ano'ner Article by Mrs. Mona Card
what Is to Become Of the Children?


The November number Of the Westminster
neue" contains long article by Mira Mona
oAro on Ideal Marriage" The lady 10 very
sarcastic ABOUT what she calls .'the deification
OF the average and in ine outburst shs
eAc'aims' MRS. Grundy in black silk. with
ascep'er In her hand. on the throne OF the
ages supported by an angel choir Of Young
PERSONS! Is this to be the end Of our democ-
raeyf There are ominous signs Of itr'
In writing my first article (says Mrs. Card
sook II for granted that by marriage" would
De understood the life union OF a man ana q
woman, as that "a the sense in which We ALWAYS
use the term in this country But in case Of
further Misunderstanding in different direc-
uon, must state that there is, as think. no
RATIONAL limit 10 the principle OF liberty; mod
Grafton IN liberty is ridiculous as modera-
uon In truth, or health, or happiness, or love,
VI any otner OF the elements that make fos
righteousness" in this world. Absolute liberty.
then, IN the relation Of men and women. is in.
deed the ideal; limited ideal is as ridiculous
as limited belief in the axioms of geometry
But we can go 20 the utmost length Of the
principle, as principle, without in the least
ignoring the fact that the state cannot fully
carry out principles purely abstract because
the material IN which IL has TO work is 20 say
the least OF II, imperfect The state therefore.
IN registering and enforcing contracts between
men and women, must make the stipulation
that they use the word marriage in the national
sense; that is. as a lifelong union. provided the
terms OF the contract are kept faithfully
In still distant condition Of society il in
probable that unions may exist outside the
law, but inside society, men and women caring
only Tor the real bond between them and
treating as Of quite minor Importance the arti.
hciai or legal tie. So that gradually the state
may come to have very little part in mar
riages. 1t Is mere question Of the growth Of
the principle of liberty, the STRENGTHENING Of
The social feeling at the expense of the anti
social The tendency will be gradually to sub
stitute internal for external law; the worship of
liberty for the worship of self; social septi-
ment for anti-social license
There Is not sufficient ground in experience
for believing that the mother and father are
certain, or even likely. TO be the best traiperu
for their children. Surely il cannot be denied
that the average mother is totally unified for
her dlihcult and most important task Children
Mrs. Card continues) ought to be babitually
IN the society of those who not only have spe.
eial sympathy with young minds and a special
gift for attracting their love and confidence,
but thorough knowledge of the laws of health
and of mental and moral development. Dur
ing certain portion of the day--for instance
that which Is now presided over by nurses
all little girls and boys might enjoy the adj
vantage OF coming within the influence of such
''heaven-born" friends of children. 1 would
propose that this system of educating from
infancy by specialists should be prolonged
when boys and girls grow older. and that il
possible, they should continue to spend part OF
their time in their own homes. and not be sent
away 10 public schools at a distance
We are told very often-and Tins has never
been dlsputed-that society Is not in a state to
admit OF the successful establishment Of free
marriage. Clearly, il is not; but equally
clearly-if we are satisfied that il is theoreti-
cally right-the best thing we can do is TO try
our hardest to make it so. That il a mere
matter Of common sense. We have TO do this
however, without endangering the ideal Of
monogamy which We have already placed be-
fore US, and which experience has shown TO be
the only form Of sex-relationship which permits
the progress of the race