Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1888-08-25
ONE VERY YOUNG CRANK.
How a One-Year Old Boy Makes His
Troubles known TO the World.

Tommy Cute, aged t. having suffered
as long MS he can stand it, writes to me in
order that his grievances being known to
the public, may Immediately be cured
! object, he says, in the first place, to
being forced to adopt Former Jones brindle
COW for foster mother
/ object. also to the existence Of like
relationship between myself and the con
densed milk factory or the cornstarch
mill
| object to having my stomach stuffed
as a remedy for mosquito bite on my
little toe or a nasty pin IN my back
/ object 10 personating a churn
prefer to take my butter after the churn-
ing process is completed.
1 object 70 being kissed by all the
women, old and young, who como near
me- / prefer TO wait q few years, or Mt
least until ! shall be old enough to make
my own selections
l object to having people ask about
my age II is an impertinence. Besides,
grown people sometimes remember, and
of ages they are apt in keeping record.
] object to going hungry until com
pany is served. For my part, / don't see
what people want company for Com
pany is nuisance. Mamma and papa
have said so hundreds Of times in my
hearing.
object to being obliged to 20 about
with my neck and arms bare. When it
is hot the flies and mosquitoes bother me
awfully and when the air is chilly feel
as though was freezing to death
| object, when | 60 cut TO ride in my
perambulator, to having myself left alone
in the sun while my maid sports with
that long-legged chap with the yellow
mustache aud ready made clothing.
! | object to being sent to bed when am
not sleepy, and to having a nasty rubber
| tube stuck into my month every time
turn over in the night.
| object TO having strangers make faces
at me. They give me an awful start
sometimes when they think they arc
amusing me-
/ object to being spoken to by people
with whom am not acquainted. Why
don't they wait for an introduction2
/ object 60 being the only child in the
family It's awful lonesome not to have
any brothers or sisters ! wish / had
/ been born when it was fashionable TO
have large families.
object to being called Ton, just be-
cause my papa was called Tom when he
was boy. Because his papa gave him q
name he didn't like was no reason foi
giving me name | detest | should
think boy ought to be allowed to choose
his own name.
object to wearing dresses and having
my hair curled. Half the folks think In
girl
object TO being bossed By women A
man ought TO be his own master. In
just sick Of petticoat government.
object to being taught baby talk
What good does it do meY After l hav,
become proficient init have TO 60 to worl
and unlearn it and learn grown folks Ian
gaage. Why don't they teach me that il
the first place?
cbject to having folks bore me witt
their stories which have heard so many
times that they are yeritable chestnuts.
| object to have people humbug me al
the time. They tell me what should d
and what l should not do. notice the,
are not given to taking thoir own medi.
cine. What ounces they airs not to know
that ! learn more from what l see thar
from what they tell me.
There's lots Of other things to which
object but this viii do for a starter.-Bos
ton Transcript.