Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1888-09-21
STRAIGHT.

Up Hill and down, 1t is going to be in New
York.-Lowell Courier.
A man may be bad egg, but he's all right
till he's ''broke. Lowell Courier.
Pay heed to the idle rumor. Some day the
idle roomer may fail to pay his room rent
New Orleans Picayune.
It is doubtful If Edison's new talking ma
chimes will ever supersede the old reliable
sewing societies.-Life.
"Young nam, strike OUT" says the Rev.
DR.. T. Dewitt Talmage. Young man, don't
you do it; knock three bagger.-Life.
81 see," said Mr.. Barkins, ''that there's q
eyes," said Mrs. Smarty, "they do that to
evade the military requirements of the Ger
man government. ."-Hsrper's Bazaar.
Professor-'G Gretchen, please take the cat
out Of the room. cannot having it make
such noise while am at work. Where is
ita" Gretchen-"Why. professor. You are
sitting on it."-Berlin nlustrise Zeitung.
sEnjoyed your party, BoSbyq' ooh, aw-
fully" 'sWell. what little girls did you
dance witha' ooh, 7 didn't dance. had
three fights down stairs with Willie Richard
son, an licked him every time."-London
Judy.
Some one says that 'stc arrest hiccoughs
both ears should be closed with the fingers
with pressure, while few swallows of liquid
are taken" Hieooughs are more frequently
caused by few swallows of liquid, while the
ears are closed against good advioe.-Norris-
town Herald.
across the street and ask that man with the
whitewash bucket If he is engaged" Mary
Ann (returning after an animsted converse
tion with Julius Plumbob) )-'Plsase, mum,
he says he's married for twelve years.
Drake's Magazine.
Severe Punishment.-The word "small-
pox" fell to Tommy to spell, but he found
er, 'do you know what little boy who fails
on so simple word az smallpox ought to
get?" tsY es'm," replied Tommy, che ought
to get vaocinated. Life.
Good advice.-'trve got q note of 500 to
meet to-day and I'm short $40, he said as he
entered the Office. ftSay, don't you try to
meet it, replied the other. "Whya" It's no
gether, take it and skip for South America
at once. Train leaves at three o'clock, and
you have seventeen minutes to pack up and
catch It'll" "But, my dear" "Don't
stop to argue. They don't expect you to pay
the note, and you'll never have $50 again In
your life! Skip!n-Detroit Free Press.
A negro got of the train day or two
drayman what he would charge to bring the
trunk to town. The darky driver said ia
quarter" won't pay it, said the new ar
rival as he shouldered his trunk and started
to the city. The roads were very muddy and
the negro drayman was bringing his dray
back without thing on it. The darky said
to him, 'tIet me ride" ''Jump up" re-
spondsd the driver. The new arrival mount
ed the dray with the trunk on his shoulder
and rode to his destination. As he got off the
driver said, "Give me a quarter for bringing
up your trunk" "But you didn't, i" said the
other darky. ''I toted it all the way" "Dat's
so, )" said the driver, "but tort was er hsul-
in it. How In dat, anyhowa I tort I'd get
quarter for haulin' dat trunk, an didn't
haul nudder. don't understand 1t. And
he went off badly pazzled. (Ga.)
Republican.
Where are you going my pretty naids'
"Going TO Market you dude, }" she said.
May 60 with yoa, my pretty maid?',
"If you'll carry my parcel sir she said.
Certainly. What will your purchase be?"
"a watermelon, sill" said she.
p. S.-She went Alone
-Yonhars Statesman