davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Landry democrat., 1888-04-28
FULL OF FUN.

Preachers never strike for higher
salary: They are generally too busy
| trying to get what has already beer
promised shem. --Picaueaae.
The toboggan was formerly the
toeboggan, SO called because the toe
was used in steering it. The end Of
the toe naturally got worn off in time.
--LoaDeU Courier.
-Wife-'John, you have a very all
noying habit of saying What's that?'
whenever you are spoken to. Cam t
you break yourself of it?'' Husband
Geading) "Er-what's thatp' The
Epoch.
Physicians Wife-"Are your af-
fairs in very bad shape. John?' Ply
sician-"Very; but l hope to pull
through. My creditors have extended
my paper to the middle of the water
melon season" -Boston Globe.
The man whose step-ladder col.
lapsed when he was hanging his IA
theirs portrait, bringing the picture
down on the top of his head. says it is
striking likeness of the old gentle.
man. Boston Commercial Bulletin.
my errand here tonight" said
ayoung lawyer to damsel on whom
he had called. reminds me of the CRY
of an owl.'l Indeed.' said the maid.
en-; ''what is your GRAND here to.
night?' "Courtship. To wit, to WOO"
Boston Courier
Young Lady (who has purchased
pair of gold sleeve buttons for her
fance)-"Oh yes I forgot, engrave the
letter U, his first NAME" Clerk-"Ah!
May l ask, miss, if it is Uriah or
Ulysses? Names with U are rare"
Young Lady (proudly)-"His name
is Eugene. "-Town Topics.
Washington Da.me-''My dear, as
your pa is to be stSstioned in China
next year, 1 wish you would try to
make favorable impression on the
members of the Chinese Embassy at
the party tonight, so that we can get
into society when we 60 there" Love-
ly Daughter-"Yes, ma. Where is
my high-necked dress" - Omaha
World
-Dumley-'.Y you don't look as if
you had enjoyed very good night
rest, Brown Brown-"I didn't. A
cracker kept me awake most of the
night" Dumley-T shouldn't think
eating cracker would interfere seri-
ously with your sleep" Brown-'Oh
didn't eat the cracker. The baby
ate it in bed.'
-Countryman-"FI pounds too
much for him? He's won erful good |
sportin' daug sir! Why, he come to
dead PINT in the street, sir, close ag'i in |
a Of gentleman, the other day-fust |
o September it was, strand the
gen. leman told me afterwards as his
name were Partridger" Customer
You don't say sol'' Bargain
=
Happy Hostess-':Do you know,
Mr. Grandson. l feel quite proud of
having you here tonight. They told
ne you were so busy writing that
you'd gwen up every thing in the
ocial way" Grandison-''Well yes;
@ | have. That is every thing of any
mportance-er-Imea mild
winter we've been having" -JuGy.
St. Landry democrat., 1888-04-28
A FACE 70 ORDER.

Noe1's Queer Experience. and the Lessor
1t Taught Him.
''Noel, take that face out of TIKI
room and do not come back with it,
The teacher spoke sternly. and the
boy. with a scowl between his eyes,
and pouting lips shuffied across the
floor.
Raise your feet from the floor, =
said the teacher
Then he took Short mincing steps,
and felt as if he would like to do some
thing desperate.
The boy went out. slamming the
door behind him. He did not know
what he was going to do about it. He
felt cross; his bicycle was broken; the
boys were going nutting: he had a
horrid lesson to learn. 1t seemed to
him that he was an ill-used boy, and
he never once thought of putting the
blame whereit belonged. at the door
OF his own carelessness
Where should he 60 to get a face to
order? III the warm sunshine he sat
and thought about it. Fido and Selim
were on the piazza. Fido wagged his
tail, and was rewarded with cuff.
Seliln purred. and got a push. The
frown seemed 70 be not only on Noel S
face, but in his hands, to make them
so unkind.
Y Down ut the foot of the garden he
saw what looked like the opening of
an underground tunnel He thought
he would 60 i'll and walk along. He
met no one. but heard strange sounds.
Farther on, a kind of door swung into
q large, shoplike kind of place. full of
all sorts OF people, talking busiIy. Noel
went in. and stood on one side. A
little fellow. with very tight fitting
clothes. stepped up and asked what he
could be served with.
"A face to order" said Noel.
The little man kept bowling his
head Yes; oh! yes, certainly.
That's what they all come here fol-.
Come this way, and I will show you
what we have, and you may select
what you like. Here are compilations,
now--pale. ford. livid, yellow,
dark, light -. He opened show
case gay with color. Then he took
the covers from several boxes, say
ing: "Ihen here are. eyes--blaek.
blue. brown, gray, violet, nondescript;
round, oval. oblong; narrow slit eyes;
wide-open, staring eyes. all sorts,
see. = and he put his hand in and
ttmbled them ever Noel, with all
the eyes winking and blinking at him.
never felt so funny in his life.
And here are the noses,n his com
panion continued. turning to another
box straight, crooked. broken, bent, |
long, short, stub. hooked. Grecian,
Roman. classic, retroasse, or
turned Up on the end; and
the lips. oh, yes. right over here,
along side OF the smiles and frowns. |
here we have them, thick and thin,
long and short. With these YOU can
have makeup fair as June morn
ing, or black as Thunderstorm. |
What do you sayp All, you want a |
pleasant expressions ALI right. Step
on this platform, and lie back in the
big easy chair. Here. Nimble and
Expert. attend to this young gentle
man; pleasant face. now. remem-
ber.n
St. Landry democrat., 1888-04-28
READING FOR THE YOUNG.
THE STATE OF TULAiT.

In spite of mammals reproaehful eyes
She was always, always late to rise;
And lote at breakfast and dinner and tea,
And late at school and at church was she:
Till at last after going too late to bed
A wonderful dream came into her head,
With stories weird
And with warnings great.
OF place to be feared;
Twas the State of Tulait.
o dear,
How crazy and queer
Was the careless State of Tulait!
She thought she had strangely and suddenly
To King BzZibee in the land of Hum,
Who eyed her gravely. and said: ".Alasl
She rose too late to look in the glass.
Her buttons are wrong and her collar is .Ju-,
And, worst of all, there's her night-cap on!
BY this / know
OF her horrible fate;
She is bound to go
To the State of Tulait.
All mel
IT'S sad to see
Fair maids in the State of Tulait.
"Would you like to know what the farmers do
In the State of Tulait2 I'll tell you true:
They daily and dream in the spring time sweet,
They plant their crops in the harvest heat,
They hoe their corn in the frosty fall,
And winter finds them with nothing at all.
You'll hunger and thirst,
And want and wait,
And that isn't the worst
In the State of Tulait.
Oh no!
And yet You'll go
To the desoiate State of Tu1ait.
''Would you like to know what will happen to
you
In the State of Tulaits ii tell you true:
You'll go to tho show at the end of the fun:
To the concert hall when the music is done;
You'll come to the table too late for the pie;
And you'll see the parade when it's just gone
by
You'll never be wise
Nor rich nor great;
No fortune lies
In the State of Tulait.
Oh, why
Did you choose to try
The sorrowful State of Tulat
''Would you like to know what your fate will
In the State OF Tulait' All, listen to me:
You will long in vain for your native land;
Your speedy return will oft be planned;
You'll hurry and strive with might and main,
But you'll ae0er be able TO catch the traini
So you'll sob and cry, ...
And worry and wait,
And you'll live and die
In the State of Tulait.
For nevermore
Can you leave the shore
OF the terrible State of Tulait.'
AT this she woke, SO great was her fright,
And she saw the CLEAN Of the morning lights
Twas the first pale CLEAN, but she bravely rose,
And quickly and carefully donned her clothes;
For OH she said, II could never endure
TO live in that horrible place, I'm sure.
No longer Tn bound
For the State OF Tuat;
And Til never be found
In the State of Tulait.
No! No!
1neger will go
One step to the State of Tulait."
~ EudorG S. BU'astedd. in Youth's Companion
St. Landry democrat., 1888-04-28

There is a story told of Boston
attorney who, on the eve of being mar
ried, found it impossible to reach the
appointed place. and telegraphed for
''a stay of proceedings" the legal
phraseology of the dispatch proving
that even at such an eventful time the
disciple of Blackstone and Coke could
not shake off the verbal letters Of the
laW.-Bosto's Budget.
St. Landry democrat., 1888-04-28
Young Mr. Featherlv (comn,af

Young Mr.. Featherly (complac-
ently)-"Yes, have been doing lit
tie in the way of literary work for
some time past. The poem on Spring
in the current number of Scrsbb!ers is
mine. I" Miss Clara Every much inter-
ested) -sNo, really, is it, Mr.. Feather
Typ Why, read part of that!''
St. Landry democrat., 1888-04-28

Jack toyoung Callow)- "That old
gentleman we just passed seemed to
know you, Charley" Young Callow-
"Ya'as, he's my father Jack-sWhyt
don't you recognize him?" Young CAL
low-''To tell the truth, old boy, Inevef
do in the street. He comes of rawther
poor family, y'know. THE Epoch.
St. Landry democrat., 1888-04-28

-"Adam was the first man," said
the teacher s'Define ADAM "First
person, singular" said the boy at the
foot of the class.
St. Landry democrat., 1888-04-28

"A Case of Self Denial. He was
brought before Texas justice on the
charge Of drunkenness. do you
plead guilty or not guiltyp9 i dom t
plead<-:s AL. I deny everything"
DO you dsn-havinsDecn fp here be-
foreP'' Il shouA smile. bThy, judge,
7 deny being heiArSakt nsw. / deny
that you are here, S2r ever have been
here. II you catch e giving myself
away, just wake me up and let me
know il. - 1eras Sif5inas.
St. Landry democrat., 1888-04-28

"A young lady, following Shakes
peareah play with the book. re-
marked to her companion: How im-
perfect these actors are! None Of
them say exit when they go Off,
Iid-Bits
St. Landry democrat., 1888-04-28

You shouldn't have taken No
for an answer so readily, Charley"
said his more experienced friend.
Don t you understand that girls no
often means yesp" She didn't say
No. Jack, responded Charley, ut.
terly without hope. She said Nav
N Y SIN.
St. Landry democrat., 1888-04-28

MAKING GOLD LEAF.
An Old Art Which Has But Few Expo
nents in This Country.

An Old Art Which Has But Few Expo-
nents in This Country.
There are not many collaborating
establishments or gold heaters in the
country. The art is old. having been
known to the Romans. When gold is
to be beaten into thin foil 1t is heated
first in a crucible with borax. In the
liquid state it is poured into mold
and then reheated and made into a
long bar. By means of fine rollers ii
is further fattened into broad sheet
almost as thin as paper 1t is then cut
up into square pieces, and number
of them are piled one upon the other,
generally one hundred and fifty are
taken. The heaters place between the
leaves pieces of calfskin to pr event
them from sticking together. Over the
pile is put four layers of sheepskin to
preserve the thin foil from being
injured by the hammer. The whole
is then placed on a slab Of marble.
After the mechanic has pounded the
leaves until they have become as wide
as the parchment between them, they
are taken out, and with a sharp steel
knife each one is cut into four square
pieces. The six hundred thin leaves
are again taken and mangled in the
same manner. The leaves have be-
come so delicate now that piece OF
sharp cane is used to cut them. The
moisture from the breath, OF even the
small amount of water found on a
metallic knife, would cause them to
stick together After the leaves have
been beaten for the third time they
are taken out and cut with a SOU are
frame of cane. The leaves are now
carefully packed and ready to be
shipped, unless they are to be made
thinner.
1t is surprising to what extent gold
can be divided. A cubic inch is suffi-
Gent TO gid wire enough to reach
around the world. PITTSBURGH DIS.
arntch
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1888-08-17

"A HERALD reporter visited the
north part of this county and Repub-
ican City the first of this week. As
has been reported heretofore, the corn
prospects grow better the farther
north you go, except a few fields on
sandy soil near the Republican River,
corn does not look so well. At Re
publican City we met Peter ROLAND,
3. w. Poor and Isaac E. Dixson, ali
old Phillips county farmers. Mr..
ROLAND still owns his old homestead,
but is now engaged in the hardware
business. Mr.. Dixon, until lately,
merchant and post master at Grow, is
in the restaurant business, and 3. w.
Poor deals in confectionery &c. On
our return we stopped at the home
Of Elisha Hawley, an old friend of the
HERALD, where we had a most exeell-
ent dinner. Mr.. HawIey has resided
IN Phillips county 10 years. His farm
is in excellent state of cultivation, and
this year raised about 800 bushels o +
small grain. Corn on his farm looks
better than the average.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1888-08-17
MMINGs.G GO TO tn

The City Council have an ad-
iOurned meeting on Friday evening
this week, when that body viii have to
decide a question quite important to
the parties directly Interested. The
Livery Barn of Jones & MOncrief.
erected many years ago, stands eight
or ten feet into the alley running east
and west W. ii. Kratts owns the
lot directly north of the barn across
the alley. He has the foundation laid
for a business house and residence.
He and Jones & AOncrief have some
misunderstanding as to what was said
about the moving the barn from the
alley, when Kratts began the fOunda-
ton He now declines to go on with
his building unless the alley is cleared,
as he says he can get no insurance on
his house unless 1t be at an enormous
rate When he began the building he
understood Jones q MOncrief to say
that the obstruction in the alley would
be removed In a short time. Jones &
MOncrief say that they have vested
rights, that to cause them to remove
said barn now, would be to destroy
their business as it cannot be moved
without tearing down the structure
and that would drive them out of bus
mess. They intend some time to
build brick on their lot, but owing
to the partial failure of crops, they
can sell no real-estate hence cannot
build their new barn so soon as they
had hoped to do a few weeks ago, and
do not know just when they will be
able to erect 1T. So the matter stands
Kratts says that he would not have
begun his building if he had known
they would not move the barn, and
will abandon his building if they do
not move it in reasonable time. The
other party say to compel them to
move it breaks up their business.
Happily there is no unfriendIiness
between the parties and it is to be
hoped that the Council on this Fri
day evening, may hit on a solution of
the matter that will be satisfactory to
all parties concerned
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1888-08-17

The HERALD desires to make a
suggestion to the people Of the cOun-
ty IN general and the Commissioners
in particular. It is this: It appears
that the county owns and controls the
public square in Philhpsburg. At
some former time the error was made
of planting that square to mulberry
trees except a row on the outer edge
which are lOcusts. Every one con
cedes that that species of mulberry
will never afford much more shade
than a gOOseberry bush. It is high
time that some other and a better
kind Of shade tree be planted. The
HERALD suggests that the county
makes provisions for the setting out
Of a portion of the number Of trees
that will be required-say 200 and
then follow the example of other
counties generally of turning the
management and care of the park
over to the city. In all such cases
of our knowledge where this has been
done, the city council has taken pride
in getting the square set to blue grass
the trees trimmed and properly taken
care of and the place kept in nice
order. We would not favor cutting
out only a portion of the trees now
growing there but would suggest the
planting out of maple, elm or some
other good shade tree. Then we
would favor the plan of watering all
in one corner in which the well is 10
Gated, whenever such watering may
be necessary. In this way a refresh
ing shade may be, in a few years,
produced covering a space large
enough on which to hold outdoor
meetings, picnics, &c. We hope that
the people Of the county and the com
missioners will think of these sug-
gestions, and take the necessary steps
to set in motion the causes that viii
produce a nice grassy and shady pub
lie square, which viii be Of incaIcul-
able pleasure to not only the citizens
Of the county seat but of the entire
county
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1888-08-17
THE HERALD.
PHIIlLIPSBURG, KANSAS
ANNOUNCEMENT.


We arc authorized TO say that Geo. W. Sunson
will be a candidate before the Republican county
COW entOn for the Office OF County Attorney.
KID. HERALD: hereby announce myself can
didate for the office OF District Clerk subject to
the action Of the Republican County Convention.
j. P. HICKS.
We are authorized to announce the name OF
Geo. A. Spaulding as candidate for the othce
OF County Attorney subject TO the decision OF the
republican County Convention.
We are authorized to announce the name OF F.
e. johnson, OF Mound township, as a candidate
or Clerk OF the District Court, subject to the &C
ion OF the Republican County Convention.
We are authorized to announce the name OF j.
Superintendent OF Public Schools, subject to the
action OF the Republican County Convention.
BY the request OF many friends I hereby an
nounce myself as candidate for the Office OF
Clerk OF the District Court subject to the decision
EVAN HEBREW.
hereby announce myself q candidate for the
OH ee OF County Attorney OF Phillips County,
Kansas snbiect, 10 the decision OF the Repubii-
can County Convention which decision viii give
tlOn or not. n. b. MCCORMICK.
1 hereby announce myself as Il candidate for the
office of County Superintendent OF Public In
tructIOn, subject to the decision of the Republican
County Convention. ADAM McELROT.
We are author zed to announce the name OF W.
W. Colby for the office OF superintendent OF Pub
lie Instruction. subject 10 the decision of the Re
publican County Convention.
Mrs May L. White, of Kirwin, wishes to an
nOunce 70 the voters OF Phillips county that she
Is a candidate for the office OF County SuPerin-
tendent, subject to the action OF the Republican
County Convention.
/ hereby announce myself a candidate for
the office OF Probate Judge, subject to the deci-
sion OF the Republican nominating convention Of
Phillips county. n. POLLING.
We are authorized to announce the name Of
j ID. MattesOn, OF Crystal Township, a candi-
date for Clerk OF the District Court, subject to
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1888-08-17

Since our last issue, a laboring
man, a citizen of Phillipsburg, came
to us and said: ''The HERALD is
down on trusts and monOpolies and a
friend ofthe laboring man; that is all
right, but I wish you would bring
your doctrine right home and make
it applicable to our own town and
county" Here are men who en-
plOye carpenters, brick and stone
masons, plasterers, painters and day
laborers from a distance when Phil
ipsburg mechanics need that en-
ployment." The HERALD wants it IN
derstOOd that we do urge upon our
builders and men who employ labor
to hire our home men to perform the
service required whenever they can
reasonably do so. Not a dollar should
be paid to strangers who do not re-
side here for labor or material if such
labor and material can be had in
Phillipsburg from our own citizens
the quality of material and service of
course being duly considered We
have good mechanics and efficient la
bOrers here. Let US whenever we
can, employ them.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1888-08-17
GALLERY
TIE Crops

Isaac S. Moore, of Arcade, says he
has 40 acres Of good corn and corn
looks fairly well in his part.
B. e. Morton has made many en-
quiries about the crops and he says
there viii be a good half crop Of
corn
H S. Polling has a farm near Phil
hpsburg. He says he viii have lots
Of corn whether it does or does not
rain any more.
W. E. Klink, Of Big Bend, says
his corn promises to be a fair crop
that he viii have slots Of corn, even
If it does not rain any more.
A P. COdner, Of the same town
ship reports about the same thing.
They say there are many good fields
in their locality and some very poor.
J. M. Crosier, of Arcade, says that
he viii have a fair yield of corn and
he gives it as his opinion that there
Will be IN this county ten times more
corn than was raised last year.
L. T. Fuller, of Logan, who has
recently been over the county some
what gives it as his opinion that there
will be more corn raised this year
than any former one.
Mr.. L. w. French, of the firm of
French & johnson, rode into the
country ten miles a few days ago.
He says there will be a very respect
able crop Of corn in this county even
If it does not rain any more.
Elder Turner has, within a week,
passed through about six townships
north and northeast of Phillipsburg.
He gives it as his opinion that there
Will be double the corn in this county
that there was last year.
"A F. Walker, Of Prairie View,
says he has "A acres of corn planted.
About 40 acres will yield 40 bushels
to the acre, the other will not come
up to the average. Corn will make
more than half C:Op in his locality.
We learn that Rev. Thee. Bracken
has recently been in some of the
townships Of the southern tier. He
says corn is nearly destroyed in Val
ley and Bow Creek and makes a
pretty bad showing in the south part
of the county.
It is pretty certain that at the time
the HERALD IS printed, the prospects
are that we will have from a third to
half a crop of corn in this county. If
we should get a good general rain
soon the late corn would make a
higher yield. There having been a
larger acreage planted there will be
more corn raised in the county than
was ever produced in any former
year.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1888-08-17

Two weeks ago Logan was all
stirred up over the flying of a NAM
moth kite. Last Saturday they had
a foot race that excited them more
than the kite-fying. A stranger
named Matthews, from Smith county
with a hacker put in an appearance
and offered to bet $50. that he could
beat any Logan man IN a foot race
$50 yards. Riley Anderson took the
bet and put up the money. There
were side bets to the amount of 5000
made with Mathews hacker or friend.
The race resulted in a clear victory
for Anderson who got his money
The hacker also goOd-naturedly ac-
mowledged that his man was de-
feated and they left wiser but poorer
men And now Logan thinks she
has the champion runner IN Kansas,
and it looks like the claim was we'll
founded Mathews, the professional,
says Anderson is the fleetest runner
he has ever met IN the west