davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-02
HIS GRaNDPAPa's HAT.

Air: ''My Grandfathers Clock"
Affectionately dedicated to the Grand Old
Party and its candidate for 1888.
His grandfather hat is too large for his
head
And it's full of free whiskey'' and plug;
It's shocking bad fit for 1.-The Quick or the
Dead
With that lining of Little Brown Jug"
When November is past. al q the votes have
all been cast,
And we've done Ben beautiful brown,
He can crawl then, with Levi and his bari,
Meath the old beHcroWn.
CHORUS.
Come from under that hat, Ben.
Quick. Quick. Quick Quick.
You smell of free whisky" Ben
Hic-hic-hic-hic!
We are dead sure you're there cause we
Your legs hanging down.
When Growers ..free-wool'' hat is hung up
again
ON its peg in the White house hall.
You must hang grancpas tile Oh some other
peg, Ben.
For you can't hang it there not this fall.
Then lake lingo Jim and IIoar Sherman,
ingalls, and some more
Ancient cranks of Republican renown,
And please don, fail to take small Fry and
Hale
Meath to old bell-crown.
CHORUS.
Crawl right under the hat, Ben,
Quick. Quick! Quick! Quick,
You look as though you felt. Ken,
Sick. sick, sick, sick
Better lie Eat meath your grandfa.eer's
hat:
G. o. r. stock down.
-W.c.P.F
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-02
Floods Condition Unchanged.

LONDON, Nov. Ia dispatch from
Hedelburg says that James c. Floods
condition is unchanged.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-02

THE chaps who have been so fire.
quently visiting the MERRIAM head
quarters during the present campaign,
and who are now about to make their
particular parting CALL" should re-
member the injunction EGGLEsToN'
old woman in his ''Hoosier'S Home
stead" to her husband in the matter OF
buying land. She always made it a
point to say to him ''get 4 plenty while
you're gettin'."
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-02

THE array of prominent Republicans
who are joining the faaks of Demo
cratic campaign iiars' i; becoming IN
comfortably numeE is for the MEL
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-02
BY LEWIs BAKER.

ST. PAUL GLOBE SUBSCRfPTIUN KAIEo.
DAILY (NoT INCLUDING SUNDAY2
/ VI in advance SIS co 3 N. in advances 90
6 m. in advance / 90 q weeks in adv. 90
One month";. ...TUe.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-02
Question OF Veracity.

Hastings Gazette.
Mr.. Donnelly alleges that ''two years age,
when ran for the same place. the railroad
corporations of the state sent $4,000 into
this county and spent it corrupting the voters
to defeat me-. This is an absolute ana I'M
qualified lie, and he knows it.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-02

c,v,pAY GLoEg is i.o,ight OIL account Of
VuH is advertisements.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-02
Lash Him With Nays.

date Illegally obtained would be worse for
the party than defeat
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-02
WEEKLY ST. PAUL GLOBE.

Rejected communications cannot be- pre-
served. Address all letters and teiegrams TO
THE GLOBE. st. Paul, Mimi.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-02

A Gambling He'll Losing Money.
LONDON, Nov. 2.-The profits of the
Casino at Monte Carlo have decreased
S250, Zoo during 1885.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-02
Albert for Canning.

Graut Herald.
Hon. Albert Scheffer has been induced to
make speech saying few words i'll behalf
OF the Republican ticket; but it is noticed
that he is very emphatic in advising the
Farmers alliance to support the Democratic
candidate for congress.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-02

THE reliance of the Republicans in
this campaign, both West and East, is
money. STEVE EIKINs, it is stated in
the dispatches, raised $4,000 to operate
with in West Virginia, and the appeals
of the committees for contributions are
constant and frantic. The burden is:
I'VE want money badly, and we want it
Immediately" For party that claims
to operate OH the high moral plane. the
Doodle jingle is remarkably sonorous.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-02
THE DAILY GLOBE

PUBLISHED EVER \ ID A L.
AT THE GLOBE BUILDING,
COR. FOURTH AND CEDAR STREETS
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-02

THE pragmatic Ohio executive re-
lated once too often his pathetic tale
of the woes of SARAH ANN BRAD
LEY. whose husband and two sons
died OH the battlefield, and who went to
the poor house because President
CLEVELAND vetoed her pension bill of
Sl2 a month. By blunder of the local
managers, he was allowed to grow
humid over SARAH's sad lot, at Union
vile, o., when the crowd not very
courteously suggested RATS" ''Come
off," etc. SARAH happened to live in
that town, and finds a pleasant home
with her son who is the postmaster, by
appointment of President CLEVELAND.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-10-03
The Kicking Kicker.

The fact that we have been run
ming the Kicker pretty much as we
pleased since the first number was is
sued has given mortal offense to cer-
tain people in this neighborhood. We
have been kicked, licked, pounded,
threatened, shot at and bluffed right
along, and have grown tat on it.
We came to stay.
Fact is, we've got to. We haven't
anything to 60 on.
Having tried all other measures to
make us let go, and having failed in
gloriously in each instance, it was de-
termined to boycott us in a social way.
We have been chuck-a-luck with the
very cream of society since our ad-
vent In fact, we have been most of
the cream.
1t was decided a few days ago by a
syndicate of the high toned that we
must be socially snubbed and crushed.
Accordingly Mrs. Maj. Bazoo, of
Grizzly Heights, announced re-
cherche affair and invited everybody
in the set but us. 1t was given out
that she feared our manners would
disgrace the occasion, and if they did
not our clothes would
We weren't saying word. We
saw the bluff and went one better.
On the night of the party the sheriff
made haul of three high-toned pris-
oners at the house of Major Bazoo,
while half a dozen others broke for
the woods. We have got one great
advantage over the other creams of
society, We left the East by day
light and shook hands with the sheriff
as we started. We are neither big
amist, eloper, embezzler, horse thief,
jailbird or gambler. We don't want
to work this lever unless some one
jumps on our collar. We have reduc-
ed tony society over half since we
came here by giving the sheriff point
ers. We can run the other half out
Of town in a week. Mrs. Bazoo has
called to beg our pardon and express
her deep disgust with herself. We
have forgiven her. knowing it will
not happen again. AS for Judge Ca
boots, who inspired the boycott and
set the crushing machine at work, we
bear him no animosity. We will
simply remark that he is bigamist,
incendiary, embezzler, forger, perjur-
er and highway robber, and we have
dispatched Pinkerton to come and
get him.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-10-03
Beware of limitations.
o. l.. MATT HEWS,
L. =. PENSION ATTORNEY,
ANN ARBOR, MICHIGAN.

Thousands of soldiers or their widows or depend
ent relatives are entitled 10 pension increase OF
pension bounty, travel pay or other allowance
who have neyer applied for IL. Many minor heirs
can get pensions, regardless of age now Hundreds
of dependent parents are entitled 10 pension.
Many of those claims have been rejected in the
hands of incompetent agents. / can in many Of
such claims procure favorable result. Thousands
of soldiers are pensoned on disability and are
entitled 10 increase on another, are rated toe
low, entitled TO increase result of disabil
ty upon which claim was granted. The laws are
now more liberal and the rulings Of the pension
office less exacting than formerly. | have In the
past few months succeeded In getting 30 per cent.
Of increase claims allowed by actual count. This
shows good, careful work. About eight soldiers
ont Of ten are entitled 90 pension other allow
ance. No matter what your claim IL, write me full
ly about It, with stamp for reply, and will advise
you free. II take your claim no fee is charged
unless | am successful, and then just what the de-
partment allows. Address,
o. l.. MATTHEWS,
$50 Ann Arbor, Mich
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-10-03

Wednesday evening, as we put on
our Mother Hubbard and sat down
by the open window to get breath
of air before retiring, sadness sud-
denly stole over us and in a few min
utes we found tears in our eyes, The
query came to us over and over again
"Is life worth the living" and as we
thought of the old homestead-the
days of boyhood-the many graves
the changes of thirty years-the foun.
tains of the deep were broken up aud
we wept.
Such moods do man good. They
bring him nearer Heavens gate. We
don't know whether they come from a
disordered liver or the near presence
Of guardian angel, but we always
feel heap better afterwards. We
no longer feel a spirit of revenge.
We have no greed. We feel charity
for all.
And as the bright beams of the
harvest moon steal into our office win
dow and throw silver light upon the
dead adds on the imposing stone--as
the south wind comes signing around
the corner of Jackass Hill and whis-
pers to us the story Of household
graves-as the whip-poor-will wakes
from his sweet sleep in the rear of
Stevens disreputable dance house to
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-10-03

Our amiable and gentlemanly sher.
if entered our Office day before yes.
terday in his usual urbane manner
and announced that he must serve pa
pers on us. 1t was notice of q
breach-of-promise suit against us by
the widow Clixby, who alleges that
we have been toying with her heart
strings, and that it will take $4,000
Of our cash to settle her thoughts
back to the old channel.
1t is another move on the part OF
our enemies to down us.
We first met the widow Clixby 2S
days ago in Carriers grocery. She
asked our opinion of herrings, and we
asked hers of soap. She invited us
to call at the house and see some po.
etry she had written on the rise and
fall of the mastodon. We complied.
We called three or four times after
wards, but only as friend. On one
occasion the widow showed us clip
ping from an eastern paper to the eff
feet that it was better for man who
had passed the age of % to marry a
widow, if he was to marry, but we
didn't bite.
We know our gait, If the widow
Clixby can prove to the world that
we have toyed with her affections we
will cheerfully go to Jail. We are
not on the toy. The widow will find
us no jack-rabbit, and the enemies
who have encouraged this new move
may hear something drop before the
trial is over.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-10-03

call us to press onward and upward
and be not discouraged, we take down
the Office towel, wipe away the falling
tears, and seek our couch with the de-
termination to secure a pass from here
to Omaha and return or make il so
hot for the railroads that they will
have to keep every tie wet all the
year 'round.-Arizona Kicker.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-10-03
Advertising Rates.

susiness Cards, one year. one dollar per line.
Lecl notices, among local reading matter, ten
sents per lina for each insertion.
Business notices, i've conts per line sach insertion.
Births, Marriages and Deaths free.
Obituaries, Resolutions, Cards Of Thanks, etc.
al advcTtisips rates
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-10-03

81 wont down to Bar Harbor for a
change and a rest" says Portland
drummer, "but the bell-bcys got the
change and the landlord got the rest. "
Lewiston journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-10-03

Darringer.. have you half dollar
that you don't want
Why, certainly. Here it is.
The next day.
Say Darringer. that half dollar you
gave me yesterday, was counterfeit.
Yes. Bromley. You asked me if !
had half dollar that l didn't want.
Life.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-10-03

A young girl in Ty Ty, Ga, seized
an ak and put two tramps to fight.
Our suffering contributor thinks she
would be "a gug-good girl to Ty-Ty
o."-Norristown Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-10-03

Old gentleman (to little boy he has
met on the beach)-What will you do
my little man, if l give you my bless
ing and a kiss?
Little Boy-I'll mash you in the
snoot.-Town Topics.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-10-03

Harry's mother, having heard for
some time what seemed to be u moan
ing or crying in some distant part of
the house, had search made, and
found in remote, very small and
perfectly dark closet, tie family dog,
Leo by name, shut in, with scarely
room enough to turn round. How
did he get therei Why, Harry had
shut him up, of course. Harry was
summoned and questioned,
why did you shut Leo in that
closet 7"
"Oh, cause he'd feel SO good when
he got let out."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-10-03

Don't ridicule the poor man who
supports ten or a dozen dogs. Per-
haps that's the only way he has to keep
pup.-Terre Haute Express.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-10-03

The facetious father of pair OF
twin babies complained that although
they filed the house with music he
could not tell one heir from another
-Ex
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-10-03

Rich ladies are supposed to wear
their dresses short. At any rate they
do not wear dresses long.-Bostor
Courier.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-10-03

Look here" said a travelling man
at railway eating counter, there is
something wrong with this sandwich. "
"Guess not" said the youth in
charge.
"But there is. | can tell. Why,
it is 30 soft that can bite through it
with ease. Merchant Traveller.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-10-03

sDaily. All other trains daily except Sunday.
Parlor cars on day trains. Sleeping cars on night
J. WHITING, Ticket Agent
O. W RUGnLEI. @. z. q 4. Agt.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-10-03

"If you start on journey" says a
book of wisdom, "and meet cat, you
should at once turn back" The hook
does not say for what purpose you
should turn back, but we suppose it
is to get your gun.-Burlington Free
Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-10-03

AS the game is being played at
present, there is more kicking in base
ball than football. ll.-Star.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-10-03
WIT AND HUMOR

The elements are angry when the
ters-pout.-Pittsburgh Chronicle.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-10-03
READ THIS TWICE,

THERE is great saving of time, Of labor, of
soap, of fuel, and of the fabric, where Dobbins'
Electric Soap is used according to directions.
ONE trial will demonstrate its great merit. IL
will pay you 20 make the trial.
Like all best things, it is extensively initiated
and countcrfeited.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-10-03

The sequestered saloon is properly
called the re-treat.-Merchant Tray
eler.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-10-03

How is your employer, SamboH
heard he had a bad fall.
Yes, sab but he's suffering most
from the reaction before he fell, sab.
o, the reaction came first, did it!
Yes, sab de mule kicked him OBJ
er.-Springfeld Union.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-10-03

Citizen (to milk dealer-,What has
become of Jim, your delivery boy?
Milk Dealer-I discharged him.
Wasn't he faithful?
Yes; Jim was faithful enough, but
he would 20 driving about the streets
in the early morning singing the
"Old Oaken Bucket."-N. Y. Sun.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-10-03

Old Cynicus-What remarkably
homely man Mr.. Smuge is.
Mrs. Affable-Ah, my dear sir, but
he has a face that grows on you.
God forbid, madam, that such a
face should grow ever on me.-Town
Topics.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-10-03
DR.. L. h. GAUVREAU,

Graduate of Laval University, Quebec, Canada.
Office and residence over Monaghans drug store.
Hours of consultation from to 10 A. NJ, l TO s r.
H. and to r. NJ. s64
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-10-03

"My beloved brethern," said Da-
kota preacher from his pulpit, ION
looking over the collection of last
Sabbath morning you can imagine my
pleased surprise to find therein blue
chip. Our dear brother, Deacon
Dewrite, kindly cashed it in. The
Lord loveth a cheerful giver. ."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-10-03

would be "A gug-good girl 10 ly-lJ
to. o."-Norristown Herald.
Old gentleman (to little boy he ha'
met on the beach)-What will you dc
my little man. if give you my bless
ing and kiss?
Little Boy-I'll mash you in the
snoot.-Town Topics.
"If you start on journey" says a
book of wisdom, "and meet cat, you
should at once turn back" The hook
does not say for what purpose you
should turn back, but we suppose il
is to get your gun.-Burlington Free
Press.
Old Cynicus-What remarkably
homely man Mr.. Smuge is.
Mrs. Affable-Ah, my dear sir, but
he has face that grows on you.
God forbid, madam, that such a
face should grow ever on me.-Town
Topics.
How is your employer, SamboH /
heard he had bad fall.
Yes, sab but he's suffering most
from the reaction before he fell, sab.
o, the reaction came first, did iti
Yes, sab de mule kicked him OBJ
er.-Springfeld Union.
Look here" said travelling man
at railway eating counter, there is
something wrong with this sandwich" "
"Guess not" said the youth in
charge.
"But there is. | can tell. Why,
it is 80 soft that I can bite through it
with ease" Merchant Traveller
Citizen (to milk dealer-.What has
become of Jim, your delivery boy?
Milk Dealer-I discharged him.
Wasn't he faithful?
Yes; Jim was faithful enough, but
he would go driving about the streets
in the early morning singing the
"Old Oaken Bucket. IN. Y. Sun.
my beloved brethern," said Da-
kota preacher from his pulpit, ION
looking over the collection of last
Sabbath morning you can imagine my
pleased surprise to find therein blue
chip. Our dear brother, Deacon
Dewrite, kindly cashed it in. The
Lord loveth a cheerful giver. ."-Ex.
| understand that Colonel Blear is
very wealthy.
Well, he's worth about 100000.
How did he make it?
He made it out of coal oil.
Indeed
Yes; his first wife lit the fire with
kerosene and he got all the money
Lincoln journal.
"Yes, boys" said old Bellows,
proudly beating his breast, "I've been
a soldier in my time, and if l do say
it myself, like the war horse of Scrip
ture, l could scent the battle from
afar."
81 s'pose," ventured young Paper
waite, that on very many occasions
it saved your life. ."-Ex.
Wife (reprovingly)--The great
trouble with you, John, is you buy a
great many things you don't need
simply because it is cheap. That is
false economy.
Husband--Here is lady's watch
l bought to-day for $40 that is worth
every cent of $50,
Wife-Ob, thank you, John. Why
it is real bargain.-Ex.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1888-12-13
Gen. Harrison and Interviewers.

When Gen. Harrison presented him
self in the front parlOr in answer to my
card | started to ask him if there was
any truth in this report, bat before |
had my question half asked he inter
rupted me with: "Stop right where
you are, sir" (and his manner was not
altogether pleasant either). 81 have
often said that | would not be inter
viewed and you need not exhibit any
enterprise in attempting to obtain
from me an interview in an indirect
way. That is what it would amount
to if | should undertake to answer
whether a newspaper rumOr was true
or not"
"But, general, this is from leading
republican paper"
81 don't care what it is from. 1t is a
newspaper rumOr, and the newspapers
will have to take care of their own
rumOrs-at least, | shall not. | will at
no time deny or confirm any of them"
Before had reached the open door,
which had been opened by the gene
rails own hand, | asked him if the re-
port that Mrs. Harrison expected to
visit Mrs. Grant in New York was
true, and he was much more calm in
expressing his reply than when [ ask
ed him il he had offered Allison the
treasury port folio. He said: "Mrs.
Harrison has no plans with reference
to visiting New York, although it is
possible that she may go there"
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1888-12-13
1t Might Have Been Worse.

A Maine man who is prominent in
politics in that state was being
"claffed" in the Fifth Avenue hotel
New York, the other day by some of
his friends because in the state election
last September the republicans had
telegraphed broadcast that the repub-
lican plurality was 10000, while few
days later their claim had fallen to
some 1000 less. This, of course, was
the occasion of the loud cry sent up by
the democrats that they had gained a
great victory. The man from Maine
took the joking good naturedly and in
explaining the democratic victory in
his state said that it reminded him of
a story about man who was killed in
railway accident. Some one tele
graphed 10 his wife "Sad news. Yonr
husband was killed in the accident to-
day. Both arms and his head were
severed from the body" The next
day, however, the following message
was sent: Cease not so bad as was
thought at first. Your husband was
killed and his head was severed from
his body, but only one arm was taken
off,
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1888-12-13
Notice Of Probate of Will
LUCY w. TAFT'S ESTATE.

LUIl W I - z.
GTATE OF VERMONT CALEDONIA DISTRICT s.
- In Probate Court held at the Probate Office in
st. Johnsbury within and for said district ON the
9th. day of November, \. ID. ISoS.
An instrument purporting to be the last Will
and Testament of Lucy W Taft late of sutton in
said district. deceased being presented to Court
by Harlow EsterbroOks one of the Executors
therein named, for Probate;
1t is ordered by said Court, that all persons
concerned therein be notified to appear session
of said Court To be holden at the Probate Office
in St JOhnsbury, on the 18th day of December
A d. 1soS, and show caHse, if any they may hays
against the Probate of said Will; for which
purpose it is further ordered, that a copy of the
record of this order be published three weeks sue
cessively in the CaledoniaD printed at St
JOhnsbury, previous to said time appointed fol
hearing
By the Court, Attest,
WALTER p. SMITH Judge
true Copy of Record. Attest
1881 WALTER 2. SMITH Judge
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1888-12-13

man having charge of his stable to
carefully warm the bit before forcing il
into the mouth OF the animal, much
suffering might be saved. The severe
cold of winter will soon be upon us
and that metal absorbs frost as a
sponge does water, has been painfully
demonstrated to most of us some time
in life. The mucous surfaces can with
out more pain be exposed to a red hot
iron than TO iron filled with frost
Warm the bit carefully before forcing
it between the teeth of your faithful
horse.