Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1888-05-25
OUR KALEIuusCuPB

cold.
The babes in the wood aren't circum-
stance to the way q man feels IN PAIR Oh
those new pocketless trousers.
A Chicago firm has sold 10000 drums
since the first of January. The century
war articles are beginning to take effect.
Gen. Gresham carries five bullets around
with him, and they aren't all in his pocket,
either.
We think, that, when the question of
the most enlightened people in the world
is brought up, some attention ought 10 DE
paid to the fact that the Serviaus have
levied tax on bustles.
Sam Jones says that if he doesn't sue
coed in dividing the democratic party in
Georgia he is afraid the devil will get it all
at one lick.
Augustus "Oh darling, you don't
know how happy am We will be mar
ried next month-will we not :"
Matilda mot by joyful, sir must
have, at least, tour dresses made and
beside, you haven't said word about the
ringrn
Florida peaches are almost ripe enough
to get them an extra horse.
The word Birmingham means the hill
which is the home of the broom" we sup
pose the town got its name from the way
the citizens used to feel when they were
climbing the hill after particularly jolly
club night.
A Paris policeman shot dog because
he was silspiciously lat. The post mortem
examination revealed the fact that the
dog wore leather coat, made to look ike
his own skin, and skillfully fastened at the
shoulders and launches in such way as
to completely conceal the ends of the hair.
In his coat the dog carried several hun
bred cigars. In our opinion it was blamed
mean to disappoint the dogs friends Just
to crafty a policeman's curiosity.
Quite a number of newspapers are be-
ing fitted for their summer libel suits
Buffalo Bill has resumed business at the
old grand stand.
If there is anything that makes man
thankful for small feet it is the chilblains.
The Illustrated american IS going to
publish picture of Chauncey NJ. Depew
Gin five coors." Mr.. Depew must be a
remarkably variegated man.
When the Chicago anarchists were
hanged George Francis Train left for Nc
va Scotia. Now that all danger Is passed
he is coming back again.
Dana OF the sun ana Ella Wheeler both
write under the influence of a cat. Ella 5
is very large, very black and does not eat
the poete-s copy-in which it shows good
taste.
1t is said that man can now travel
around the world in three months, at a
total expense Of 500 But nine out Of ~
men who had 500 to spend would stay
right at home and do it,
An exchange says There are no good
pears in market" We honestly believe
that this is not lie.
There is a man in New Haven, Hiram
Jinkenson by name. The boys call him
Hi links for short.
"Nour honor" said the vagrant who
was pleading his own case, as he turned
toward the Judges desk, poverty amt nc
crime, and a man hain't got to work III
tins free country is he don't want to. I'm
as good IA man rs there is in this yer court
room, although I've lived for the last foul
days ON uothiu' but whiskey and on
| ions"
"Plisoner," exclaimed the judge, hast
| " raising the window behind him, "ad
dress your remarks to the iury."-- Chicd
| 80 TribltuC.
Vermont man (-cornfully)-TeXas
! Why, man. Texas cant hold a candle tC
| Vermont. From men down to tlapjack;
we're way ahead of you.
| Texas bankruptcies FlapJacks?
reckon you don't know Whatever talkin
about, stranger. Didiever see Il Texas
| tlepjack one of those fellers that weighs
| Is pounds and is 9S yards in circumference
Vermont man (aghast-Oh, come, now
John. You never saw a ilapjack as big a.
| that. How do you get your syrup on II
Texas man-With hose, of course
| How II s'pose ?-Harpcr'S B0@0r.