The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1888-03-31
CURES FOR INSOMNIA.
BOB BURDETTE GIVES A LONG LIST
OF SURE REMEDIES.

Some of the "'InfalIible Cures Which
the Humorist Has Jotted Down in His
Little Health BOOk-Ono of the Mys-
teries.
What pleases me when am tormented
with sleeplessness is little health book
of my own, III which I have jotted down
few-a very few-of the ''infallible RENE
dies for sleeplesSness which have been
tried in thousands-Or perhaps it was mil
HonS-Of cases, most of which were the
prescriber's own immediate family, or, at
the farthest, circle of immediate friends,
and had never once failed to effect per-
manent and it is needless to say, instant
cure. All of these cases collectively and
each one by itself individually were and
was exactly like my own in cause, dura-
ton and operation. The simplicity of the
combined remedy appeals at once to hu-
man confidence.
Eat nothing within three hours before
retiring.
Eat light but substantial luncheon
just before going to bed. Nature abhors
avacuum. This is one of the prescriptions
l like.)
Read light literature before going to
bed.
Read nothing after supper Walk
emile in the open air just before bedtime.
Go to your room an hour before retiring
and read until bedtime. Give up smoking
altogether.
retiring will sOothe and tranquillize your
nerves until you can't keep awake
Don't think about sleeping: you scare
away slumDer by woOing the drOwsy god.
ADDITIONAL REMEDIES
Resolutely resolve, as you lie down. that
you will go to sleep, and sleep will come
naturally.
Take a warm bath and go from the tub
into bed.
Take a cold sponge bath, jump into bed,
and you'll be asleep before your head
touches the pillow.
Walk Slowly about your room half an
hour
Lie on your right side, with your cheek
on your hand.
Lie on your left side, with your head
resting on your arm.
Drink milk. This, according to my
experience, is the best prescription in the
lot. 1t will make you sleep better than
all the brOmides going, which are snares
end delusions. But milk diet not only
makes you sleep at night, but you want
TO sleep all the next day. 1t makes you
intolerably stupid all the time. 1t is
very pleasant, half awake feeling, if you
have nothing else to do but to enjoy fall
ing asleep at any time and in all manner
of places, like COlville in the best told
story of these times, ''Indian Summer"
but if you have eny work to do it is en-
barraSSinG.)
Count up to 100. q tried this inhuman
bit of idiocy one night. ] came very near
falling asleep two or three times, but was
started wide awake by suddenly becoming
conscious that l had lost my count, and
had to begin over again. This cure kept
me awake one whole night, while I WAS
so sleepy 1 could scarcely hold my eyes
open. The friend who gave me this pre-
scription is not living now. She was a
woman, and could not, as a gentleman,
offer her violence So I dosed box Of
marshmallows with Rough on Rats and
sent them to herr
WHAT IS TO BE DONE |
So, what is a sleepless man who wants
to sleep going to do? If he eats a slight
luncheon, smokes a mild cigar, read Bun
ner an hour, walks Il mile in the air,
comes back and walks another mile about
his room, takes a sponge bath, cold, fol-
lowed by tub bath. warm, drinks a pint |
Of milk, jumps into bed and lies on both
sides, with his head on one arm and one
hand, and counts a thousand, it will be
time to get up, anyhow and he can have
few nervous fits during the day.
1t is fact, however, that even men
who think they suffer from sleeplessuess
do not lie awake half so long as they i'm
agine they do. When man says to me,
81 did not close my eyes once all night,'
I know he lies. Not Intentionally, of
course; he thinks he was awake all night;
the probability is that he did not ge; TO
sleep until two hours after his regular
time, and it seemed an age to him.
Really, it isn't often that a man lies
awake the whole night through am not
physician, and cannot speak by the
book, but I believe that men fib about
their restless nights more than any other
i'll to which our weak humanity is heir.
Now take your own case; you remember
the last time you lay awake all night,
don't you? Yes, 1 see you do Well,
don't you remember that same night you
heard the clock strike 2, and then the
next time you heard it it struck 2? Yes?
see You do. Well, that's one of the
mysteries about insomnia that is difficult
to explain.