davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-03
4 RURAL RENINISCENCE.

The sermon was long and the preacher was
prosy,
The cushion was soft and the corner was cosy
And musing, knew
BY my side in the pew,
Was a dear little face that was dimpled and rosy.
A stray bit of lace and the curls of feather
Lay close to my cheek and didn't care whether
The sermon was long,
Or flirting wrong
In a lonely back pew, as we knelt down to-
gether.
In reading the prayers we had one book be-
tween us;
So sweet was the smile that nobody seen US,
While bent on our knees
(Oh, how Cupid did teaseD
had stolen a kiss, with the prayer-book to
screen us.
In the oriel window the sunlight was cleaning,
In my drowsy old brain felt love fancies teem-
ing;
Then my heart gave thump-
But my head got a bump
On the back of the pew-I had only been dream
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-03
A Dish of Crow.
New York Tribune.

New York Tribune
Daniel" said the President softly, as he
stood at a window of the White House in
the cleaning and dreamily watched the
dim outline of a Potomac dredger making
sail down the river.
"What is it, sire?"
"Do you recollect the exact wording of
that reference to second terms in my letter
of acceptance?"
"Not precisely, sire, but it was to the
effect that second terms were not beneficial
to the nation, and should not be sought by
patriotic Presidents"
"H-mw
A moments silence fell upon the room,
and then:
Daniel"
"Yes, sire.'
"Among the game in the White House
larder is there eany-any-crOw
"Ithink there is, sire; there generally is"
"Have it made into pie, Daniel"
Today"
Immediately"
And then silence came again, broken
only as the President drummed softly on
the window sill.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-03
Ate j3 Raw Eggs.

ANsoNIA, Conn.,, April 20.-Michael
Began, a liquor dealer of New Haven,
who weighs 225 pounds, challenged James
Brennan, farmer, who had just brought
in eight dozen eggs, to raw-egg-eating
contest for $40 a side last night.
The farmer consented, and at o'clock
hey cracked the first egg. Began swal-
lowed his with sherry, Brennan took his
from the shell. At the the twentieth egg
Began succumbed, but Brennan kept on
until SO eggs had disappeared. Brennan
has not been heard from since. He offered
to bet Began that he could eat five dozen
eggs in an hour and half, but the bet was
not accepted.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-03
Helena, Montana, Thursday, May 3, 1888.

substantial something's a local habitation
and name. Therefore ask that you will
do me the honor of being my interpreter,
guide, philosopher and friend tomorrow,
and if need be a monitor. Our party will
include those whose names l have put in
your record, and trust my friendship will
do you no harm if not good"
Senator, l like you! Not because you
are immaculate, but because you are in
tensely human and thoughtfully honest.
Any man may err, but there are few gifted
men who can see an error and frankly ac-
knowledge it, as you have done to- day.
And am all the more delighted that you
honor me by permitting me to escort you
and your party over the terraces, the stair
way of by-gone centuries, where the resur-
rected rocks have risen into the light and
taken forms more beautiful than man,
Natures own plagiarist born, can copy, far
less steal and call it his alone by right
divine. Yes, it will be pleasure to show
you these terraces that have occupied my
thoughts and interest me next to that
mystery of all mysteries, man."
So we parted, to meet again on July 81, ,
1883, to spend one day among the terraces.
IL. HENDERSON.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-03
A Good Suggestion.

Impecunious Dude-Cholly, I've got to
make waise or go to work, and cawn't
stand that, bah Jovel WAat would you
wecommend9
Cholly-You have nice soft beard. Bor-
row a suit of female apparel and put it on,
and any dime museum man will give you
job as bearded lady on sight Chicago
Tribune.
A Broken aearr.
"Papa," she said, as the old man came in
late, "young Mr.. Sampson offered himself to
me tonight and / refused him. And oh,
papa, am afraid his heart is broken"
she told me about it, said the old man.
"Then you met himp'
"Yes, he's down at the Eagle playing bill.
iards. New York Sun.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-03
Some Interesting Figures.

A man of q mathematical turn of mind
made an interesting calculation as to the
amount of whisky consumed by steady
drinker who takes on an average twenty
drinks day. This would give 14O drinks
a week, or 1890 year. Supposing it true
that man can keep up such an average
for twenty years, he would have taken at
the end of that time the enormous total of
1456OO drinks. The average drink is
about seventy to the gallon. Dividing
1456OO by 70, tits seen that the man has
imbibel 2OsO gallons of whisky, or about
fifty-seven barrels, allowing .hirty-six gal
Ions to the barrel. Supposing that the
mans las 900 drinks cost him on an aver
age ten cents drink, it is seen that he
has spent handsome little fortune in the
course of twenty years.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-03
SISO,OOO For Patti.

Nine. Patti is in South America. From
the point in view of the ney-maker, this
tour will probably be the eliminating
point in the career of the highest paid
prima donna of musical history. For
thirty public performances she receives
S18O,OOO, or $4,000 an evening. This sum
guaranteed to her even if the receipts are
only S5. But under most ordinarily favor.
able circumstances she can make $12 500
in one evening. That means that in four
evenings Nine. Patti will be able to earn
as much, and more than the president Of
the United States receives in the twelve
calendar months for his services to the
country
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-03
A FARMERS VIEW OF THE
CHURCH..

Well, wife, I've had round with Wayne
Bout jinin' our church
He tried the sceptic dodge on me
The argument of smirch.
Says he, Look at your members now,
There's Jones got drunk, and Swem
Will cheat friend to make a trade;
Amt as good as them?"
Says !, "A butcher buying stock
Does just the way you do;
He hunts around the cattle yard,
And finds the meanest two;
Then every offer that he makes,
An every one he hears,
Is coupled with the sneering words
Jest look at them two steers
You pick the meanest Christians out,
An then with tricky jeers,
You run the whole church down by that
Jest look at them two steers!'
No farmers fooled by that old trick,
An so you can't afford
To risk your soul in tryin' it
Upon the all-wise Lord.n
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-03
Why She Sat Down.

This morning young lady was passing
residence on whose steps was young man,
and IN front of which was dog. In flash
her feet went out from under her and she
went down on the icy walk. The dog in a
playful mood rushed to her assistance, while
the young man, not at all embarrassed, asked:
"Did you fallF'
"Well, l should think I had," said the
young lady, rising and rearranging her head
gear.
eyes," responded the youth, 81 thought it
must be funny if you sat down to play with
the dog. g."-Albany Journal.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-03
QUESTIONING.

Daisies in the summer meadow,
Fern leaves in the woodland shadow
Why they grow and why they blow,
Knowst thou why?
Nay, not IL
Dreams of the happy days and places,
Visions of fond hearts and faces
Why they come and why they roam,
Knows thou why?
Nay, not l!
WouIdst thou stay the flowers from blooming
WOuldst thou stay thy heart from roaming
Where the beams of love lit dreams
Charm the eye?
Nay, not
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-03
Every One Ran.

Omaha Man-Went to spiritual seance
down in Arizona, eh9 Anything happenl
Arizona MAXWELL, yes. The medium
went into trance, and then announced that
he was the spirit Of q man who had been
murdered, and that the murderer sat in the
audience.
"Well, well. Did anybody runT'
"We all ran"-Omaha World.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-03
Difference in Taste.

Two friends met in the Omaha depot the
other day, one from Chicago and the other
from Los Angeles. "Where are you goingg'
asked the former. "Going to Los Angeles
to spend the winter. And your 'Im going
to spend the winter in Chicago" replied the
Los Angeles man.-Texas Siftings.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-03
The One Thing Needful.

Among the recent applications for patents
is one for a cigar selling machine, which
drops out Havana" clips the end of
and exposes a match and piece Of sand
paper whenever a nickel is dropped into
slit in the side Of the machine. The patent
Office has decided not to grant a patent until
the inventor attaches contrivance to his
machine that win also produce an automaton
that will grab the nickel cigar and 60 of in
the woods and smoke it.-Norristown Herald.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-03
Served Hot.

"Madam," pleaded the tramp, piteously.
81 am hungry to starving. May l take few
snowballs to eat from your side yard?"
"Certainly, my poor man." replied the
woman with the big heart, kindly, land if
you like I'll warm them up for you. New
Work Sun
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-05-03
G1le l1>sshlp Btrald,
RE FISK D. W. FISK. A. J. FISK
Publishers and Proprietors.
LARGEST Circulation Of any Paperin Montana
Rates of Subscription.

WEEKLY HERALD:
One Year lin advance. w
Six Months lin advance l %
Three Months (in advance) 10
When not paid for in advance the rate will be
-Four Dollars per year1
Postage, in all cases, Prepaid.
DAILY HERALD:
City Subscribers deliveredby carrier ST. month In
One Year by mail, (in advance) ......... ss ~ ~
Six Months by mail, in advance)...".. w
Three Months by mail, (in advance)... oo
II not paid in advance Sl2 per annum.
Entered at the Postofice at Helena second
class matter.
ArAIl communications should be addressedto
FISK BROS, Publishers
Helena Montana.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1888-10-23

As election day approaches the in
terest becomes intense. 1t is apparent
that the vote of New York city will
decide the presidency in 'SS as it did
in, 1884 In 1884 Mr.. Cleveland had
133, ,157 votes in New York city and
Mr.. Blaine 90,093. Cleveland's ma
jority over Blaine was, therefore, 49,
O64 In Kings county, in which
Brooklyn is situated, the vote was
sc, ,2S4 for Cleveland and 53,514 for
Blaine. Cleveland's majority in
Kings was 15,770. Cleveland's COM
bined majority in New York and
Kings was 5S,S34 This is the ma
ior1ty the interior of the state has to
overcome. The Republicans are con.
fident of $4,000 north of Harlem river
that is, north ofNew York and Kings
land the Democrats are confident o.
increasing their majority in New
York and Brooklyn to $4,000. The
Democrats claim that they will cas-
|, 175,000 votes in New York city fo
mayor. The Republicans claim tina
! they will cast 10000 votes in tha
city for mayor. The interesting CUES
ton arises will all the votes cast b.
the Democrats for their two mayor
atty tickets be cast by them for Cleve
land
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1888-10-23

To illustrate the inexhaustable
wealth of Alaska, Gov. Swineford re-
marks, in a casual way, in his annual
report, that a single haul in Sitka bay
took in thousand salmon, averaging
ten pounds each, and that a single
one of Alaska's multitudinous islands
is solid mountain of ore, containing
enough mineral wealth to pay the en-
tire national debt.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1888-10-23

AT the last dinner of the Clover
club in Philadelphia, Colonel Patrick
Donan, of Dakota, made some inter-
esting statements as to the length
and breadth of this country. He said:
''How many of you wise and witty
Clover-clubites know where the center
Of the United States, east and west,
is? It is scarcely half a degree east
Of San Francisco. You have always
thought of San Francisco as on the
very remotest western edge of the
United States; and yet Alaska, which
is part of the United States, extends
within a trifing fraction of as many
degrees west of San Francisco, as
San Francisco is west of Portland,
Me. 1t extends within forty miles of
Asia. How many of you know that
if you fasten thread at the northern
most point of Texas, measure the ex-
treme length of the state and then
swing it around over the United
States, it will take in, with its mag
nifcent sweep, Chicago and the great
lakes, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Dakota
and the whole country to the British
American line? Take the same length
of thread with Chicago as a center
and it will include New York and
New England, and the whole repub-
lie to the Atlantic Ocean, in its ma
iestic round. How many of you
know where the grand center of the
mineral wealth of the United States
lies? Just as supposed; some of you
say in California, Nevada. Colorado.
Not bit of il. The grand treasure
house of the Union, OF the New
World, is at the very doors of
Philadelphia, Baltimore and Wash
ington. With Bristol, Tennessee, as
a center, describe a circle with
radius of hundred miles, and it will
include in Kentucky, Tennessee, Vir-
ginia and Carolina riches which
dwarf to insigniicance all the gold
and silver in California, Nevada, Colo
RADIO and New Mexico. There are
mighty ranges of mountains that,
from their cloud-kissed SUBMITS to
the volcanic fires beneath, are solid
masses of the finest Bessemer hema-
tite iron on one side and the finest
coking coal on the other. There are
thousands of square miles of red and
brown hematite; magnetic iron so
powerful in its magnetism that pieces
of the crude ore will lift knife by its
blade; anthracite, bituminous and can
mel coal so rich in oil that you can
light ton OF it with match; manga
nese, zinc, copper, lead and corundum.
There are precipices of slate as fine as
ever a child drew its first pictures
upon of dogs that only need horns to
convert them into COWS; slate that can
be gotten out in slabs hundred feet
square, if it were needed. There
are mountains of solid marble of
every shade from snowy white to
Egyptian black. During a recent
trip through that region 1 Travelled on
railroad whose track is laid for
eight miles on a bed of as beautiful
pink marble as ever under the sculp-
tors chisel turned to living, breathing
statuary. The whole road is ballasted
with marble. The fellow who
.dreamt that he dwelt in marble
halls has only to get in Jail at Estill-
vile, Va, to realize his gorgeous
dream, for the jail is built of exquis-
ite variegated marble, and the streets
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1888-10-23

That annual farce entitled ''The
Clatsop County Tax Roll" is now
about ready for collection. 1t is just
about as ridiculous this year as other
years. 1t is one of the productions
wherein truth is stranger than fiction,
and is not curiosity, every other tax
roll in the state being also a lie, a
juggle and cheat.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1888-10-23

RUSSELL SAGE is said to be worth
S60,000,0OO, and spends only $4,000 a
year. He is over seventy years Of age,
but with his clear complexion, bright
eyes and active ways he scarcely seems
more than fifty.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1888-10-23

FROM now till the 9th prox. the
Burchards of the campaign will be
getting in their work. If Harrison
escapes Burchard between now and
election day he will be lucky.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1888-10-23

INDIANA is now enlivened by $500
campaign orators. One hundred of
these are prohibitionists and the rest
are about equally divided between
Democrats and Republicans. The
Hoosiers are gradually coming to the
conclusion that about the worst thing
that can happen to a man is to be
born in a pivotal state.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1888-10-23

The farmers in the semi-arid belt
in Kansas, Nebraska and Dakota, who
for years have seen their corn and
wheat killed in one night by the Mex
ican sirocco, in late years have had
something for their toll to enable
them to reduce their mortgages by
diversifying their crops. Lately they
have extensively made sorghum.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1888-10-23

JUDGE THURMAN was asked in re-
cent interview whether he expected
his ticket to win?" and replied: 81
won't be surprised if 1 am elected,
and 1 won't be disappointed if 1 am
not"
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1888-10-23

A CAREFUL estimate makes it appear
probable that before November 9th
there will be a layer of campaign doc
uments two feet thick all over this
country, including the Indian reser-
vations and the District of Columbia.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1888-10-23

A PRIZE of $50 for the best essay
on "The Evil Effect of Unrestricted
Immigration" is offered by America
the award to be made by the Ameri-
can Economic association.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1888-10-23

AN Iowa woman who has Travelled
Far and observed closely, writes: IF
marriage is failure then life is not
worth living" So will say all who
believe that happy home is a little
heaven on earth.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1888-10-23

The man who sells what he does
not own cannot cheat the man who
never pays him for it. A great deal Of
business is done on that basis.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1888-10-23
ADVICE TO MOTHERS

Mrs. WINsLow's SOOTHING SYRUP
should always be used for children
teething. 1t soothes the child, sOftens
the gums, allays all pain, cures wind
cholic, and is the best remedy for diar-
rhea. Twenty-Five cents bottle.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1888-10-23

AFTER a hurricane last month a
coral reef so feet long, 30 feet wide
and 5 feet high was upheaved in the
harbor of Vera Cruz.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1888-10-23

Ii was doubtless during a heated
political campaign that King Solo
mon hastily remarked: "All men are
liars"
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1888-10-23

All the patent medicines advertised
in this paper, together with the choicest
perfumery, and toilet articles, etc. can
be bought at the lowest prices, at J. w.
Conn's drug store. opposite 0e'ident
hotel, Astoria.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1888-10-23

On a lonely road near Sag Harbor,
L. l., lives a man who claims to be a
brother of Boulanger. He has been a
hermit for years.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1888-10-23

JNo. p. ST. JOHN is stumping Penn
sylvania for the prohibitionists at $50
a night. Business is business.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1888-10-23
NEW TO-DAY.
House and Lot for Sale.

TORNER LOT 8, BLOCK II. ADAIR's
" Astoria Finely situated good dwell.
ing house will sell at bargain for cash
for particulars apply to
W.T.. McGREG Or,
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1888-10-23


ACCORDING to communication from
&c. P. c." on the first page, the sapient
Portland board of trade are not true ex-
ponents of the feeling of that city re-
garding the unnecessary divergence
of the grain shipping business from
the Columbia river to the Sound. II
certainly is sstrange that self interest
and the plainest dictates of CONNER.
cial needs should be avoided and il.
nored as in this instance, its far-reach.
ing magnitude affecting so many. The
one solution of the difficulty which
threatens Portland's prosperity is tc
recognize the inevitable, put aside the
ancient grudge and silly spite against
a community that has always Stood
ready to cooperate, and transfer hel
shipping interests to a deep water
port-Astoria. = = - :
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1888-10-23

TIE province of Quebec contains a
population in round numbers of 1,6G0,-
900. OF this total 100000 are
French speaking. The officials of the
province, from the lieutenant-govern-
or down, are French. The premier,
Mr.. Mercier, is a clever Gaul. "The
states are the polar star of our young
people," said a prominent French
Canadian to Herald correspondent a
few days ago. Annexation is said to
be wished for in all circles.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1888-10-23

ESQ City Tax Notice.
NOTICE Is HEREBY GIVEN THAT THE
IN Tax Roll of the city If Astoria, Clatsop
county. Oregon, Is now in my hands for col
days, after which time the taxes remaining
unpaid will be deemed delinquent, and as
such will be returned to the Auditor.
j. G, HUSTLER,
City Treasurer and Tax Collector.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1888-10-23
Ths Daily Astariaa.
ASTORIA. OREGON:

TUESDAY AY.-...-........ ...OCIOBEh -. 1888
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1888-12-14

From New York to San Francisco in one
hundred hours, is the latest accomplishment Of
modern railroading. The party left New York
Monday morning on the Chicago limited ex-
press over the Pennsylvania road. Wednesday
morning they pulled ont from Council Bluffs
on the new Golden Gate special" palatial
hotel on wheels, and were scheduled to be in
San Francisco on Friday evening at 10 o'clock.
The train in which the trip was made is said
to be the finest that ever followed a locomo-
tive, surprising modern hotels in comfort and
elegance. The passengers enjoyed the luxuries
Of steam heat electric light, hot and cold baths,
a perfectly equipped dining room, library, ard
everything, In fact in the way Of comfort and
luxury
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1888-12-14
A Card.

Ny sincere thanks are hereby rendered to the
young men Of Hope, from whom received
last evening substantial proof Of friendship
and regard in the shape of q beautiful suit Of
clothes. The groce Ut charity certainly ami
mates those young men, for while making
their present through Mr. jacobson, they have
kept themselves in the background, but all the
same appreciate their kindness and hope
may prove worthy Of their esteem.
S. B. MAHAHEY.
Hope, December II, 1883.
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1888-12-14
Don't Experiment.

To experiment with your health by swallow
ing all sorts Of drugs and nostrums is foolish,
and many times extremely dangerous. II you
arc going to travel ''don't experiment. with
untried lines, that are only two streaks OF rust,
and run by wind, bat take number one line
like ssThe Burlington" which has an estab-
iished reputation for fine equipment fast
trains, good connections and square dealing.
II is the through line between Chicago. Peoria
and st. Louis and St Paul aud Minneapolis.
Ask your station agent to ticket you ..yia Chi
cago, Burlington & Northern railroad. = For
maps. time tables, etc. apply to w. ]. C. Ken
yon. general passenger agent C. B. q N. rail
road, St Paul, Mimi. ss.si
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1888-12-14

Subscriptions received at the PIONEER Office
for any foreign or American newspaper or
periodical at publishers prices.
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1888-12-14

John Slime is in very poor health, and for a
while on Friday last he suffered such acute
pain that many feared for the result,
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1888-12-14
Hope, December II,

At the annual meeting Of the Minneapolis
Matrix company the capital stock was increased
to $40, 10000. and Peter 8. Mackay was elected
assistant secretary, new Office. The follow
ing, embracing several gentlemen well known
in Hope, were elected directors for the ensuing
year: S. s.. Small, Charles L. Travis, Charles
Chute, E. H. Steele, E. ]. Edwards, Peter s.
Mackay, George W. Small, James F. William
son and C. Wright Dawson. The company Is
said to be having good success with its matrix.