The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1888-06-16
Mr.. AND MRS. BOWSER.
Some More of Mr.. Bowser's squirm-
1ngs.

my dear child" said an old aunt of
mine the day 1 was married, 'have
you got all your husbands love let
tersp"
''Of course"
"And now that you are married you
will probably burn emp"
That's just what I was going to
do"
"Well don't Keep 'em to the long
est day you live"
"But whvP''
because they will be stronger weap-
ons than all your tears. pleadings or
arguments. Nothing will bring hus-
band to time like sight of some of the
love letters he wrote before marriage"
/ took her advice, and have always
been glad I did. On several occasions
1 have used them to bring Mr.. Bowser
down off his high horse. and the fact
that they bother his peace of mind is
proved by the other fact that he had
several times hunted the house over in
my absence in hopes to lay hands on
them.
Something went wrong at the Office
the other day and he came home can
tankerous. He held in until we got to
the supper table, and then broke out
with:
SCOT any name for these things
hereP"
Eyes, dear. Those are called bis
cult"
"Well, the man who calls 'em fit to
eat ought to be shot! Mrs. Bowser.
why is it l can never get anything de-
cent to eat in my own houseP'
"Why, Mr.. Bowser! No one could
take more pains than we do. In order
that the biscuit might be extra good l
went out and made them myself"
"Humph!''
"There was time, Mr.. Bowser,
when you raved over my cooking"
'Never! I knew from the day I set
eyes on you wading across mud pud-
die that you could never cook. You
can sing very well-as well as some
bad actress-but you can't cook"
"And if will prove that you once
hungered for my cooking you will"
Il will give you $50 cash in hand"
After supper I went up stairs and
brought down several letters. Mr..
Bowser had got his nose into maya
zine and wanted the matter dropped,
but I read to him the following ex-
tract:
"And Thought darling, while eating sup
per that night, how proud 1 should be over
your delicious cookery when we had home
| of our own. The thought of those biscuits
| alone makes me hungry. Goodbye, my pet"
who wrote that?" sternly demand
ed Mr.. Bowser.
you did,"
s.When?"
sThree months before our mar.
riage."
| "Never!''
| "But here's the letter dated and
signed"
| 1T is base forgery, and the forger
must beware! How could have prais-
ed your cookingP'
"You also used to praise my singing.
Mr.. Bowser.
| "Never!'
ooh, but you did. Let me read:
| "And, precious pet Of nine, leL asg Rgair
thank you for that beautiful song, The Low
| er's Farewell, and the exquisite manner ia
which you rendered it. 1t drew tears from
my eyes, and / was not ashamed of them
You have one of the purest, clearest voices
ever heard.
"Who wrote thatP" he gasped.
"You did,
'Mrs. Bowser, don't carry this thing
too far! There is limit beyond which
you must not gor'
'Well, here it is, in your own writ
ing and over your own signature
Once in a while you find out hin
that 1 am very dull. There was time
when you thought different. ;"
"Look out, Mrs. Bowser!"
Yes, you did! You even though
me the smarter of the two"
"W-what! Am I awake or dream
ingr'
wide awake, Mr.. Bowser. Let m,
read you an extract from this exhibi
marked "A"
81 don't see why you should 60 back t
Vassar. Few young ladies are more accom-
plished or better educated. All your friends
myself included, give in to you on the matte
of grammar in particular. Hope to see yo
as usual next Sunday, my dear little honey
suckle."
Mr.. Bowser sat and looked at m
like one terrified.
"And, sir, you often fling out abou
the size of my feet. admit they ar
, as large again as should have ordere
from dealer, although l wear No. 8
with a great deal of comfort. Let m
say. however, that your mother wear
, 6's, your three sisters SIS, and the tw
girls you kept company with before W
, met wear full-sized 6's with very broa
, toes"
, MRS Bowser, do you suppose wi
{ stand such insults in my own house?
he shouted as he sprang up.
"Are facts and truths insults?
have been reading from your letters.
, Never! Never! If l ever wrote sue
, stuff l was crazy!
But here is your signature. 70
I remember you wanted me to sign m
name Rosebud" and you signe
yours "Oak Leaf"
, II never did! No power on cart
can convince me that was any sue
, fool as that!'
well. perhaps you will remembe
this sentence. You wrote few month
before our marriage. Listen.
''Oh, my Rosebud. but the heart OF Os
Leaf was made thousand times lighter
! the receipt of your loving note yesterday.
irn