The Washington critic., 1888-02-18
nRIGHT BoYs AMI G1nIs.
witty and Wise Things said by the
Little Foikq


given them. Eddie ate his with great rel.
ish, then turned to Harry, who stood
looking at his, and said Harry, ]
wouldn't eat that old woolly thing."-
Boston Globe
THE SECRET OF SUCCESS.
Burt was twelve years old. He came
home from Sunday school one day, and
said he had taught class of little boys.
What possessed You to do such a
thing2n asked his mother.
20, get along first rate They began
to giggle. and / told them if they didn't
quit u, j would lick every last one of
them when Sunday school was out. The
superintendent said IL was the stillest class
there was."-[ Detroit Free Press.
TWO WAYS OF LOOKING AT 1T.
Small boy to his big sster-"Edith, do
you know why / think you are like cat
that has. fallen into hogshead of
molasses ?n
Edith--"Bocaus Pm so sweet 2n
Small Boy--"No, because you're so
stuck up."-[ Detroit Free Press.
AN UNNECESSARY QUESTION.
Kind old lady to little boy, who has
just fallen down-Where did you hurt
yourself, little boy2
Little boy {cryingl-Wh.whare dye
pose l-1-1ellor nuftS niSself when he
sets down kerplunk2-[Texas Sftings.
LITTLE GIRL WITH IDEAS.
took my four-year-old daughter to the
Episcopal Church, thinking she would
be delighted with the service. After the
service was over ] was puzzled to see the
little one leave me and keep with her
mother all the way home, not even
answering the questions ] addressed TO
her. For two days she totally ignored
my presence. Finally after much per-
suasion, she said ~ don't think much
ofmy papa for taking me to church
where men come out with their night
gowns on" She meant the surplices.
Il Boston Globe.
GREEN APPLE PROBLEMS.
A little Chelsea girl of . years passed
lastsummer on farm in Maine. Green
apple time was at hand, and her aunt, to
whose care she had been confided, eau
toned her against eating them. But lit.
tie Eve could not resist the forbidden
fruit. No particular harm resulted, but
her aunt felt 1t her duty TO again point
ont the danger. ~ once knew little
girl" she said "who ate two green ap-
pies one day. She was sick all night, and
in the morning she was dead. Silence
reigned, for the little one was very
thoughtful. AT last she looked up and
| Sulu 'bO YOU llllnk lou WOulu forgive
me If only eat one dreen apple and only
took two or three bites out Of another?E
boston Herald.
CRITIC.
A little boy, after a patient attempt to
make picture of horse on his slate,
asked his mother "Do the angels see
everythingp "Yes,n she replied. "Well ("
said the .youngster, "when they see this
horse ! bet they will laugh. VI Albany
Argus.
IMMEDIATE REFORMATION.
The young man of eleven summers
had, in common with his younger
brother, habit of tackling his father
every morning for nickel. The father
| thought he would appeal to his young
manhood One morning when he made
| his usual demand the father said
| Don't you think you're most too old to
| beg for nickelP'
"That's so, said the boy, thoughtfully.
| "Thats so. Give me two bits."--[San
Francisco Chronicle.
DoRoTHY's coMIcAL INFERENcE.
Two-year.old Dorothy has had severe
case of chicken-pox. She came down
| with it the very day that the family had
| chicken for dinner Nobody imagined
| that Dorothy thought that there was any
connection between the dinner and the
disease, until few days afterwards, just
as the baby was getting better, turkey
was brought on for dinner. Dorothy re-
made me have chicken-pox, mamma, and
| i don't want to eat turkey and have
turkey ~ Woman's Tribune.
TINE ENOUGH.
'Mamma, dear" said Janet, sat what
time in the day was born ?"
"At . o'clock in the morning.
"And what time was l born ?" asked
Jack.
mot until O'clock"
"Ah,n CRED Janet, ''iny birthday $
longer than yours"
"Well, t" said Jack, whats the use OF
being born before It's time to get upP'--
[Omaha Bee.
WOULD BOTHER HIM.
One of our bishops, when pastor at
Stamford, Conn.,, asked q little boy af.
flicted with an impediment of speech how
he would like to be preacher. The lit
tie fellow replied Ill w-w-w-would
l-l,l-like the .p-p.pounding and the
w-would b-b-b-b-bother m-me."-[Chris.
tan Advocate.
WARS DREAD HAVOC.
Little Flossie Ito Aunt Minerva )-WerC
you never married, aunty2
Aunt Minerva with sigh)-Ah, no
| Flossie; the gentleman to whom gave my
young hearts affections was killed in the
war;
Little Flossie (eyes filing with tears) =
| Was he killed in the Revolutionary War
aunty ?-[ Harpers Bazaar.
WHY HIS EYES WERE BRIGHT.
Caller ito little Bobby)-Bobby what
makes your eyes so bright?
Bobby (aftera little thought)-I dess it's
tause l hain't had 'em in very long
Exchange.
THAT'S BABY.
| One little row of ten little toes,
| To go along with brand new nose,
| Eight new fingers and two new thumbs,
That are just as good as sugar plums--
That's baby.
| One little pair of round new eyes,
| Like little owls, so old and wise,
| One little place they call mouth.
Without one tooth from North to South
That's baby.
| Two little cheeks to kiss all day,
| Two little hands, so in his way,
| A brand new head, not very big,
| That seems to need brand new wig
That's baby.
| Dear little row of ten little toes,
| How much we love them nobody knows;
| Ten little kisses on mouth and chin,
What q shame he wasn't twin
That's baby.
aM @NNWM I'M