The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1888-05-24


"Oh, no." promptly. "Not when you get
used TO the idea thought so myself at first,
but it soon wore Off"
Ali" / murmured, lost in admiration of
this remarkable and easy code of morals.
" You said two objections, Charlie" resumed
my wife. What was the other?"
" How are you so sure that my uncle will ar
rive first" / inquired. /" If it should chance
to be yours, wouldn't give much for the sue
cess Of your plan. Mr.. Carper is a very re-
spectacle old gentleman-but think you could
hardly call him sweet-tempered. He"
Now, don't make objections, DEAR" inter-
rupted Ella decisively. Il know your uncle
Will come first, because he always comes early
in the afternoon, and Uncle Gregory never
comes until the last train he can possibly get
before dinneF-time"
Besides" ] said weakly, " there viii be no
opportunity for the lock to stick fast, | mag
inc. / don't think my uncle locks his bed
room door. Men don't generally. / never do.
+" Oh, it doesn't want to be locked, you silly
boy! If left the key inside how could fasten
it outsider Really Charlie, you are much less
intelligent than ] thought you were"
/ bore this accusation meekly and in silence.
| was thinking what a fearful row there would
be il the imprisoned uncle got out before the
appointed time and found US entertaining the
enemy at dinner. Then sudden feeling OF
conjunction took possession of me.
g" No, by Jove!" l exclaimed rising from the
sofa, and taking up a position on the hearth
rug; l won't consent to any such plan. It's
certain to miss fire somehow, and then We'll be
in a nice scrape Let the two old fellows come,
and have done with it. Ii they disinherit US
both, and ignore our sons future, it can't be
helped. Pm heartily sick of all this pretense
and underhand' nonsense and l won't have
any more Of it."
But Ella, after dismayed pause, wept and
entreated so, and, in short, cajoled me in the
way women do cajole US when they like to
such purpose that | at last gave in and con-
scented. Whereup0n hypocritical letters were
written to both uncles, expressive of our pleas
ure at their projected VISIT etc, and permitted
myself the luxury of being IN an exceedingly
bad temper for the next few days.
The fateful Tuesday arrived in due course,
and by Elias special request / came home by a
much earlier train than usual The afternoon
bad passed without bringing Uncle Simon. Our
evil star was evidently in the ascendant; for
at $50 fly from the station drove up to the
door, and from it stepped-Uncle Gregory
looked at Ella witheriHgly.
Never mind, DEAR" she said, in hurried
tones. " 1t can't be helped. I'll manage. Just
leave everything to me !"
Imuttered a few maledictory remarks under
my breath, and went to the door with wretch
ed smiles to greet our relative. | saw at once,
of his most aggressive moods He swore at the
lyman; contradicted me fatty and rudeiy
when I mentioned the usual fare, and snubbed
poor Ella SO viciously on the subject of new
velvet dress she wore that I saw the tears
spring to her eyes with modification, and my
self crimsoned with rage. However, We press
ed him to take some refreshment-sherry, |
think il was-and after two large glasses of the
same he became somewhat Modified.
q q rel m wa handa6
was from my uncle. saying we might expect
him by the $50.
Wouldn't you like to get ready for dinner
now, URcle?" Ella said after some time, with
nervous glance at the timepecc Il had shown
her the telegram. 1t was quarter to six, and
Uncle Simons train was due in five minutes.
Plenty Of time, plenty Of time" said the
old gentleman, helping himself to another glass
Of sherry. " You don't dine till 6, do your"
l saw that Ella was quite pale.
Pray, don't hurry" / observed calmly. As
I spoke the whistle OF Uncle Simon's train was
heard in the distance. Ella disappeared from
the room, and in another moment the dinner
bell sounded vigorously.
Old Carper rose-after imbibing final glass
Of sherry.
4" / hope You have something decent for din
ner," lie growled. I'm as hungry as a hunter
Hadn't time for more than bite at lunch"
/ smiled a painful smile, and murmured
something to the effect that ] hoped he would
have something be could enjoy.
The old fellow plodded heavily up stairs
where Ella was waiting to usher him into the
fatelul pink room. In another moment my
wife, flushed and bFeathlcss. Joined me at the
foot OF the stairs.
Have you done it?" asked gIoomily, feel.
ing as / imagine Macbeth must have done.
Yes, she answered, showing me the key
/ preparatory to slipping it into her pocket
/ And, Charlie. / took down the bell-rope to,
day: 50 all is safe. But oh dear! how very
unfortunate that Uncle Simon didn'tcome first
I suppose he viii be here directly"
just then the doOr-bell rang loudly. It was
Uncle Simon.
1t CHANGED that Mr. Finicker was not in the
most amiable frame Of mind either. He had
lost his umbrella, il appeared; aud was even
more aggravatingly nervous and ddgety than
usual.
Just as dinner was served loud banging
was heard from the room above. II don't tlinz
! have mentioned that the pink room was stu.
ated just above the dining TGom.) / hastened
up stairs aud hypocriticaliy turned the handle
/ Of the pink-room door, having previously
1 knocked
ARE you not coming down to dinner, Mr.
( Carper!" ] inquired, feeling, l confess, rather
/ ashamed Of myself
/ Coming down." Numbered my wife's uncle
indignantly from within. Ot course IA com
I ing down; but l can't get the door open !"
&o2" 1 returned, with a careful accent OF
/ surprise. trust this confounded lock has
not caught again. We intended having it re
I paired, but the locksmith has unfortunately
+ not arrived" (Which, as ne had not been sent
I for, was not 70 be wondered att
Shake the handle from the inside" / con
[ tinued.
lie shook the handle, butt need hardly
J say-WithOut effect. | shook il also.
Perhaps you have locked IT, l suggested
I allowing a faint amount Of anxiety to appear
/ ia my tone.
Locked il q? Rubbish ~ was the irate reply
What should lock it forf Pm not q woman
| Besides, there's no key"
am exceedingly annoyed, i" / went on, in
/ q voice full OF veXed soletude but / feaI
4 we can do nothing until the Iocksmith comes
I IL is most unfortunate de shall be sent for
! again at once; but Of course it will take some
\ little time, as We are so far from the village"
WheTcup0n followed fearful and ungoYern.
\ able language from Mr. Carper. He shook the
door violently, stamped about the room and
\ went on " generally III a most alarming way
I pacihed him as well as ! could, or, rather, ]
I tried to pacify him, bat he continued to storm
4 and swear without apparently listening 10 my
Ies-they We're nothing less-and at last
4 went down stairs again, and took my place al
I the head Of the table in a furious passion. ON
] previous receptions had never gone as far az
this and / felt myself sneak from the tips Of
my fingers to the toes Of my boots. This wa,
( a most preposterous and outrageous plan o.
I Elias ] reflected sayagely We could neve,
carry it out Why had / listened to her?
As We deyoured our soup we could hear foot
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