The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1888-03-22
ODD EXPRESSIONS.
An Amusing Collection OF Verbal Bulls and
Biunders.


An Amusing Collection Of Verbal Bulls and
Biunders.
Curious ways of expressing ideas in
English may be expected from foreign-
ers, as. for instance, when the French
man, who paid a call in this country
and was about to be introduced to a
family, said: "Ah. re ladies! Zen I
would before, if you please, wish to pur-
ify mine hands and to sweep mine
hairr'
But the various nationalities of the
British isles are sometimes not a whit
behind in verbal bulls and blunders and
in what may generally be described as
odd ways of putting things. 1t is said
that when Constable's aunt was dying
the good. deaf old lady said: "Anne,
if ! should be spared to be taken away,
l hope my nephew will get the doctor
to open my head and see if any thing
can be done for my hearing"
| A Scotch publican was complaining
of his servant-maid that she could never
be found when required: "She'll gang
oot O. the house." said he, twenty
times for once she'll come in."
A Welsh landlord who for some time
had been annoyed by an obstreperous
| guest, walked across the room to him
and striking the table with his fist,
shouted very volubly: 'You haf kick
up row all day ere tonight! We was
not interfere with you, do we? Efery
man here mind his own piziness; yes,
by Jink, no."
The beggar was verbally mixed who
thus accosted passesr-by: "Sir, would
you please give ME little money to
buy bit of bread. for L m so dreadfully
thirsty that don't know where l am to
set nights lodging?'
The same may be said of country
yokel who went to the menagerie to
examine the wild beasts. Several gem
tleman expressed the opinion that the
orange-outang was lower order of the
human species. Hodge did not like
this idea, and striding up to the gentle
man expressed his contempt for it in
these words: 'Pooh! he's no more of
the human species than I be-.
mamma, is that spoiled childp"
asked little boy on seeing a negro
baby for the first time.
An amusing announcement was issued
by corn-cutter from Leige: "They
extarct the corns vidout the litest pain.
Cut males, deformed witch spreds in the
fleisch-by new methode vidout pain.
They spokes French, Anglish, 1talien.
Spanitch, Portogeese, Dutch and Gar
man vid equal fiuency and rites dem. "
Over bridge in Georgia is the fol-
lowing: Amy person driving over this
bridge in a pace faster than a walk
shall, if a white man, be fined five dol.
lars. and if a negro receive twenty-five
lashes, half the penalty to be bestowed
ON the informer."
In small town near Avignon the
houses in the suburbs became flooded
up to the level of the first floor. An
enterprising resident distributed among
his neighbors the following card: IN
Brochet, professor of swimming, j:
prepared to give lessons at the pupil;
residence" The professor may bt
said to have taken fortune at. the flood.
A shop exhibits a card warning
every body against unscrupulous per
sons "who infringe our title to deceive
the public" We are afraid the shop
man does not say quite what he mean:
any more than the proprietor of an eat
tar &ha he fhn
of which may be read the following
announcement, conveying fearful in
telligence to the gallant tars who fire
: quent this port: Sailors vitals cookies
here"
A boarding-house keeper announce;
in one of the newspapers that he has (
cottage to let containing eight room
and an acre of land. A dealerin cheal
shoes was equally ambiguous when h
counseled in one of his advertisements
..badies wishing these cheap shoes viii
do we'll to call soon, us they will no
last long" The same may be said @
the following: This hotel will be KEEP
) by the widow of the former landlord
2 who died last summer on a new an
. improved PLAN"
A Scottish blacksmith, being asket
the meaning of metaphysics, replied
: "When the party wha listens disna ke
what the party wha speaks disna Ike
what he means himself that's meta
pheesics.
: Perhaps as odd way of putin
: things as any of the foregoing exam
: pies was furnished by little Parisia
: mendicant, who, following gentl,
: man. said: Monsieur, give me ju,
!. q penny; I'm an orphan by birth.
, The definition was worth ten centims
. to her.-Londos Spectator.
, She Was Only His Wife.