Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1888-01-27

that would not be responsible for any or
ders unless they were accompanied by
note from me. You may go, Parker
And wcnt-to find Baldwin doubled up
in chair, absolutely purple with suppress
ed laughter.
Beautiful !" he gasped "Aint she a
woman with head piece Amt she cute
| say, if you give me the money, III go out
and get them for you, Parker
"Get what /"
"That sherry and stuff that you We got to
buy 10 replace what you boned from Mrs.
Wetmore, he said, with a wink.
"Boned indeed - / cried what a vul-
gar word to use to me And don't crow
too soon, Baldwin The goods 1 shall of
course return, as l never meant anything
beyond borrowing them but with all her
smartness, my lady don't suspect they are
not in the larder this minute"
ooh you think she doesn't, do you ~
inquired Baldwin, sarcastically.
'Why, of course do.
"Well, then, let them tell you, Parker,
that she does know it very we'll he re
turned, and that's what breaks me up the
cuteness Of the way she got round it, has
everything replaced without any fuss or
scene, aud all the tradespeope shut off be
fore you could say Jack Robinson. All
Parker Parke~, you'd better own you are
beaten"
81 won't and amt, snapped, jamming
on my hat. "You wait bit I've a plan
that | rather think will make us about
even" With that | rushed out to buy the
hateful things, and pretty big hole they
made in my wages, as you may fancy. /
told Mary Ann that she needn't expect any
Christmas present from me after the hand
some thing did for her party Time after
time I'd done the same thing, and never once
been found out, and to think of that chit of
a girl being smart enough to do it it was
maddening But ] had my plan, and
mighty smart thought it then though be
ing over my temper now, I've changed my
mind.
You see, two days after her musical, Mrs.
Wetmore was to give very swell dinner
party only ten guests, but they were the
very best, and the chief one was to be Lord
Willoughby Stewart, who Baldwin said was
making great stir in society, and was al
most fought for by the ladies. guess that
was Baldwin's chaff. though, for | saw him
come in, and lord or no, he reminded me of
a sucking pig at holiday time, he was that
blond and well scrubbed. Well, Mrs. Wet
more was very fussy over the menu, as you
may imagine. 1t was very simple, but ev-
cry dish was to be perfect of its kind, and
it included four of my specialties amber
soup, lobster outlets, roast woodcock and
Italian cream. My cousin Tim, head cook
at the Union Club, taught rue these, and
can beat him on them if choose but on
this occasion / didn't choose for my plan,
Of course, was to spoil her dinner for her.
A sort of an object lesson, you see as
much as to say, "You haul me over the
Goals and interfere with my perquisites, |
ruin your dinner therefore you'd better
keep me in a good humor-two and two
make four So on the eventful day for
got to say we were out of anchovy paste
for the outlets, and pink gelatiue for the
cream and AS Mrs. Wetmore lunched out
to give me free day, and | was not allow
ed TO order any groceries myself, that spoil
ed two dishes at one swOop, and no blame
to me After that | tied up my forehead
(which is a great mental brace, 50 to speak,
when a girl is having an idiotsyncrasy),
and completed the details of my plan, which
required thought for | didn't want to do
anything that couldn't be explained away
by a slip of memory and headache.
Well, if | hadn't known I'd have sworn
that dinner came from caterer in tin
box. it was Just that kind of bad The
unseasoned the outlets were insipid the
entrees likewise tasteless, the woodcock
was dry as sawdust, while all the vegeta
bles would have been delicious if they'd
only had salt in 'em lastly, the Italian
cream, which should have appeared in love
ly form, with pink wine Jelly at the
bottom and curdled cream on top, and been
beautiful as well as good, went on kind of
soft custard Not having the pink gelatine
| couldn't make the right kind, so | chose
that receipt as being the furthest off from
the Italian cream Mrs. Wetmore expected
to see brought in,
l fairly laughed as pictured her dismay
when she saw Baldwin serving that sloppy
stuff. He vowed he was afraid to take it
in for fear the guests would think it was
lather and ask for razors.
well, how did the dinner go off = says
|, when he comes out from serving coffee
land how did his lordship like the dessert Z"
He never eats made desserts, it seems,
says Baldwin "When | left he was going
in for the fruit and praising the products of
America"
And Mrs. Wetmore," asked, malicious
ly, sis she pleased y
"Shes uncommon brilliant and gay,' he
replied, with his aggravating drawl His
lordship is regularly fascinated with her.
It's a pity" he added, with sigh, that
she should have took up stockbroker like
| Wetmore before she'd seen some real Eng
lish quality, amt it, Parker ~
"Why don't you poison Wetmore's cof-
/ fee, says l, sneering, $50 she might marry
his lordshipl But tell me, should you say
the dinner suited her =
II think, says Baldwin, ''you might
smash every one of her Dresden coffee-cups
when she had company and her good breed
/ ing would not allow her to move muscle,
consequently l can't say, She will proba-
/ bly, give you her opinion tomorrow. So
| cheer up, Parker ~ says he, chuckling to
himself "and if you haven't quite worked
off all your bile on the dinner, why don't
you fry the beefsteak, and boil the tea for
breakfast, as sort of P. P. c."
"And what's p P. c.. 2" | demanded.
'P. p. c. is French shortcut, says he,
very airily. "When a party is going to
leave a place in a hurry he just writes
P. P. C.-Pdrtdnt Pour Canada, which his
friends seeing on his card take to mean, in
a joking way, no time here, and a lot of
other things. French" says Baldwin, pull
ing up his collar, ''is rery peculiar Ian
guage in the way of having great deal of
meaning packed up in few words"
You're very smart, says l, "but l am
not going anywhere so won't need your
P. P. C."
"We1l see about that tomorrow, Par
ker," says he
And we did see Mrs Wetmore sent for
me directly after breakfast, and | found
her in the library the same as before.
wonder if she knew how nervous it made
me to be called out of the kitchen
Good morning, Parker, says she, sweet
". "Your month is up today, is it not Z"
"Yes'm," said l, disappointed to think
she was only going to pay me, without
speaking of the dinner.
VERY good" says She "here are your
wages for the month, also for one week in
lieu of the customary notice, and from to-
day | shall not require your services, Par
kerr
May l ask your reason, ma am ~ l says,
utterly dumbfounded.
Il am not satisfied with your cooking, y
she replied blandly. The dinner was a
lamentable failure last night | cannot risk
another"
'Well, ma am, the cream was not what
| wish, l said, getting my weapon ready
"but the pink gelatine was forgotten, and
as you forbade me to order anything, nc
matter what happened, | really couldnt
help it,
''That was not worse than anything else,
she interrupted. "The whole affair wa,
insipid, taseless, flat. The fact is, Parker, II
she said, with pitying smile, 'you art
not a born cook You have been carefully
taught, but you lack the discrimination ol
the palate. or whatever it is called, that Is
necessary. However, 1t is useless to dis
cuss the matter, since you cannot help 1t