The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1888-07-18
How a Pig Caused the
War of 1912.

1t all happened in this wise: Two
citizens of Providence, II. l., fell into
a most unseemly discussion on account
of the lawless trespassings of a pig
owned by one of them. The aggrieved
party possessed very fine garden, in
which it was his custom to spend his
hours of leisure wedding, grating, and
transplanting the flowers and vege-
tables in which he delighted But
often, as he entered his garden in the
evening, his ears would be saluted
with grunt and rustic, and the fat
form of his neighbours pig might be
seen making hasty flight from the
garden, in which it had been placidly
roofing all day
In high dudgeon the gardener sought
his neighbor and complained of the
pigs frequent visits, declaring that
little time spent in repairing the pig
sly would restrain the animals rowing
propensities. But to this the owner of
the pig responded that if his neiqhbor
would keep his rickety fences in proper
repair the pig might take its daily air
ing without temptation and the garden
would not be endangered
Repeated misdeeds on the part of the
pig famed the smoldering fires of dis
sension into the flames of open hos
tility. AT last the crisis came. The
owner of the garden, rising unusually
early one morning, discovered the pig
contentedly munching the last of fine
bed of tulip-bulbs. Flesh and blood
could stand it no longer. Selling
pitchfork which lay near at hand, the
outraged gardener plunged its sharp
tines into the hapless pig and bore the
body, thus fatally impaled, to the sty,
where it met the gaze of its owner an
hour or two later. Thereafter it was
war to the knife between the two neigh
bors.
Now, what had all this to do with the
The two neighbors belonged to the po-
litical party known as the federalists.
Through all the outrages that Great
Britain inflicted upon the United States,
while seamen were being impressed,
American vessels stopped on the high
seas, and while every possible indig-
nifty was being committed against the
flag of the United States, the federal
lists remained friendly to Great Britain
and contested every proposition for the
declaration of war.
But the democratic party was eager
for war, and as British oppression be-
came more unbearable the strength of
the democrats increased. 1t so hap
pened that the election district in which
the two neighbors lived had been about
equally divided between democrats and
federalists, but the latter party had al
ways succeeded in carrying the election.
But in 1911 the owner of the garden
was candidate for the legislature on
the federalist ticket. His neighbor had
always voted that ticket; but now, with
his mind filled with the bitter recollec-
ton of the death of his pig, he cast
his ballot for the democrat. When the
ballots were counted the democrat was
found to be elected by majority of one.
When the newly-elected legislator
took his seat his first duty was to vote
for United States senator. He cast
his vote for the candidate of the demo-
Gratis, who was also elected by ma
jority of one. When this senator took
his place in the United States senate
he found the question of war with
Great Britain pending, and after long
and bitter discussion it came to vote.
The democrats voted for war and the
federalsts against it, AS result of
the voting war was declared-again by
majority of one vote.-WilHS j.
Abbot, IN ST. Nicholas for July.