The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1888-09-29
MlSCELlANEOUS.

"A soldier VINO was seen 10 take on
his cap while using the telephone, In
formed n questioner that he did so be-
cause he was talking to his superior
officer.
The man who finds fault with
every thing, usually does 80 because
he wants to get even on the amount OF
fault that is found with him.-Merchd1t
Traveller.
AN even temper laughs at the Their
mometer, and better is flannel shirt
with GOODNESS and contantment than q
sealskin overcoat with q forward mind.
M Y Sun.
-"Cholly-"I say, Binx, did you
ever witness burial at seap" Binx-
mo, never saw burial, but we had a
wake behind us all the way over last
trip. ."-Harper's Bazar.
"A Georgia negro had just paid the
last dollar on mule he bought, when
suddenly the creature died, leaving
him q financial wreck. Being condoled
with, he replied, "Well, his time come
ter go, sab, an l RAIDER him dan me-"
Some OF those old saws have a
great deal to answer for. For instance,
If somebody hadn't once said, ut is
never too late to mend," probably a
good many people would not be post
poning the proceS 80 long.-Shoe and
Leather Reporter.
"A certain means Of stopping dog
fight or loosening vicious dogs hold
upon any thing is showering something
over the animal that will produce
sneezing. BE his will power ever SO
strong the motion of sneezing invol-
UNFAIRLY opens dogs jaw. Pepper
answers very we'll, but snuff is the best.
as 1t can be used without limit.
-"Why can't they make these dunn.
mics more lifelikep" said facetious
fellow, halting with friend in front OF
clothing store on Market street and
slapping a figure vigorous blow on
the cheek. The dummy turned
suddenly, let fly his left. and the face
as though struck by lightning ex-
press. Philadelphia Times.
-Lady-(angrily to tramp at the
back door)-"You can't get any thing
to eat here" Tramp-(politely)-'I
beg your pardon, madame. 1 don't
want any thing to eat. 1 have just
eaten a good dinner at the house of
your neighbor, but if you could give
me small cup of coffee and cigar
cite you would place me under many
obligations. y Washington Critic.
--One night at meeting a negro
prayed earnestly that he and his breth-
rem might be preserved from what he
called their "upsettin' sins.'' "Brud-
der" one of his friends said, ''you amt
got de hang OBJ dat ar word. Its be
settin',' not 'upsettin' ''Brudder,"
replied he, "if that's so, it's so; but
was prayin' de Lord to save us from de
sin OBJ 'toxication, an if dat amt up
settin' sin. dunno what am"
"A girl who by chance was COM
pelled to wash her face with the juice
of a watermelon found it so soothing
that she continued it and to her joyful
surprise discovered that her freckles
were disappearing. She applied the
new wash with more vigor than ever,
and soon they were entirely gone. This
makes the even 1000 things which
are said to be sovereign remedies for
freckles.
81 left the business long ago." said
the ex-umpire, ''but it seems to follow
me still. even to my own home" "How
is thatP" asked his auditor. "Well,
my son works in an iron mill and my
daughter is fine young lady. l go
home at night and find my boy on a
strike and my girl gone on balls and
parties. Even my wife gives me chicken
wings-foul tips, you know" And the
old umpire sighed. Pittsburgh Chron-
icle.
New York dame-''I thingyou Chi
cago married folks ought to live to-
gether, If only for appearances sake.
Just think what an awful reputation
all these divorces give your. cityp"
Chicago dame-"Well, you see Chica-
go has no nearby summer resort to
which all the married women can go
every spring and not see their hus-
bands oftener than once a month, as
you do in New York, you know."-
Omaha World.
Judge Ito prisoner who has just
been brought into court) is
your namep" Prisoner Billings"
Judge-"Where are you from, Mr..
Billingsp' Prisoner-"I refuse to state,
as such information has nothing to do
with the case" Judge-"But we will
compel you to state, SIR" Prisoner
"That will be dangerous proceeding,
l assure you. shot a judge once"
Judge (musingly)-"The prisoner is
from Kentucky. ."-Arhansaw Traveller.
-'Ethel," asked Lewisrownmother
of her daughter as the fair young girl
sat down at late breakfast in her
morning gown, 'did George leave any
package for me last eveningp" Ethel
blushed and said falteringly: sWhy,
no, mamma! What made you askp"
20, nothing; only heard him say at
the door as he said goodbye, s.Now,
here is one more for your mother and
I didn't know Tut it was that pattern
for lace lambrequins that his mother
has promised me-" Ethel said nothing.
-Leaoisto,0n journal.
" 4.