The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-04-12
BRIGHT BITS.

A LADY advertises that she has "a fine, airy,
weli-furnished bedroom for gentleman IL feet
square. "-COtlegidte Journal.
IT was before Washington went into politics
that he could not tell a lie" The record is
silent after that Pittsburg Chronicle.
WHAT can you tell me about Esaus"
"hsau, responded the YOUTH with the glib
alacrfty Of one who feels himself, for once, on
safe ground, "Esau writer of fables, who
sold his copyright for a bottle of potash. ~
albany Express.
CoUNTRYMAN who strayed into Delmonco's
IN the great snow storm)-What's spring lamb
with, mister?
Waiter-Two dollars and half, sir.
Countryman--I don't mean a hull lamb; just
enough to fill up on.-TerdS SJttltgs
Will you allow me to sleep in the ten-acre
lot back Of the barn, ma'amr" pleaded the
tramp.
Certainly, - responded the woman, kindly
and here are couple of matches, in case it
should turn cold during the night. life.
BRowN-I say, Dumley, Robinson has threat
ened to knock some horse sense into you the
first time he meets you. You want to look out
for yourself.
Dumley (contemptuouslyl- 1t would
take dozen men like Robinson to do it.-Hdr-
per's BGzdr.
An Austin colored man, with protruding eyes,
rushed into Justice Tegner's office and ex-
Il wants Col Jones who Ibis mex door to me
put under 81 100000 bonds ter keep de peace. +"
Has he threatened your life?'
He has done dat berry ting. He said he war
gwine ter fill de mex nggah he found after dark
in his hen house plum full oh buckshot. - Texas
Sfi,IgS
ONE of our correspondents attended a large
union meeting few Sundays ago in which a
somewhat fiowery young preacher prayed as
follows: 20, Lord, we ask that Thou wilt bless
the Y. NJ. C. A" This is equal to the colored
mans ascription of thanks to the Deity for what
He had done for the world, both B. c. and A
D." Such performances strengthen the hands
of those who oppose all extempore prayer
Christian Advocate.
"AH, Johnnie, my boy" said gentleman ac-
costing lad the other day II hear your father
has apprenticed you to plumber"
Yes, sir. y
Fine business, fine business. suppose you
are kept busy soldering leaks wiping joints. and
so forth"
mo, sir, not yet"
Haven't got as far as that yet. What do
they keep you at?'
Making out bills, sr."-Boston Courier
You may make sport of phrenology all you
please, said fat man, he leaned back in
his chair and twiddled his thumbs, but owe
all my business success to it
How happens thaty' inquired hearer.
"A travelling lecturer visited our little town
when was young man and examined people s
heads at half crown apiece. | paid and had
my head felt | don't remember all he said
ness was very large. l took the hint and it
made my fortune"
You took the hint? / don't understand"
II became glue manufacturer" said the fat
man.-VOr Populi.
THERE'S a pious and ignorant farmer over in
Virginia, who used to do little extra work at
preaching, but he hasn't for several years now
On the occasion of his last appearance he Sc
lected for the Bible reading Jobs description of
the war horse, in which occurs the passage,
HE saith among the trumpets, Ha! hal and
he smelleth the battle afar off, The good man
read along with increasing fervor and emphasis
until he came to this, and then he rolled the
sentence forth: He saith among the trumpets,
Hay, hay; and" But he never got any further
than that; for the people, forgetting the sane
tity of the place, Uttered, and then went into
such laugh that the meeting broke UP in dis
order, and the farmer quit the pulpit forever
Washington Critic.