The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1888-05-24
Communicated
The Democratic Consular Seryice-A
Specimen.
nv FORSYTH DE FPoNsAr

LILO VIII floltS w dSillugGOn, GndG CITY
sacred to political and twice blessed as the
residence of the Incompatible Cleveland
and the self satisfied Bayard, is naturally
attracted to the State Department. He
wends his footsteps in that direction be-
cause he has heard and read of the marvel
Gus performances which have been accom-.
plished there during the present admins
tration. He wonders really if Machiavelli
is dead, and if he is that perchance his
soul awaits on the prognostics and prompts
the ACTS Of the mystic Bayard, because the
results Of the diplomacy of this State De-
partment are-so-so fairy-like.
Presuming that the visitor is well ac-
auainted with past and present lore. news
paper, documentary and diplomatic; with
the great an ID little events of the republic,
and has ''friend at court" who is able to
usher him behind scenes, into the very
seat OF archives where they are arranged
in the Commission room on file-the petit.
tions of the successful and those OF the
unsuccessful enters and CHANGES about
with curiosity. The list of foreign mis-
sions and consulates are spread out before
him, extending through the alphabet from
a toz. Instinctiyely he thinks of Stephen,
that is of Stephen Grover Cleveland las the
prime mover in filling all these positions,
for has he not appointed as his minister
for that purpose, the self-satisied, the
astute, he-Machiavellic, the ''chav.
liern Bayard without fear and without
reproach; and has not that worthy been
diligently at work filling these offices
without reproach from inappreciative for
eign courts.
This at once calls to mind what saint
Stephen G.. Cleveland is, and as though to
encourage the resem blance between the
modern and the ancient, the name st.
Stephen glares from the list of consulates.
Inspecting this consulate, it is seen to
belong to a town of the same name, above
st. John on the St. John river in the Brit.
ish province of New Brunswick.
Moved by curiosity inexpressible to
inspect the list of applicants for the place,
permission is not hard to be obtained. For
this offence there had been four or more
applicants. The one best recommended
had endorsements in regard to personal
service and ability from an ex-mayor of
Savannah, a congressman from Georgia,
four Southern editors, noted author on
political economy from Ohio, general
and a major from Virginia, several mem
bers of the Baltimore bar, and two North.
ern ex-goyernors. This applicants name,
ii made known, would reveal the fact of
his being writer of ability on history, art,
science, as well as an organizer, and the
founder of historical association in the
United States. Two other applicants were
also firmly endorsed from the N orth, but
the poorest of the lot, 0, St. Stephen
Grover Cleveland, endorsed by man or
two from the wilds Of Bangor, Maine, was
a young lawyer without briefs, recently
wedding his wisdom to the bar, and he G OF
his position. He bore the euphoneous pat
ronomic of Patch land the st. Stephen
papers heraded his appointment by the
chairman, and complimentary editorial,
1.-The U. S. is giving US patch work.
The ministerial appointment to Sweden
comes under the same letter S. as St.
Stephen. Cleveland or else the immutable
Bayard, had removed Mr.. Thomas the for
mer minister if for no other reason, judg-
ing from other doings, than that he was
giving satisfaction and therefore must be
guilty of malfeasance of office. and sent in
his place Hoosier from Indiana, a re-
porter on newspaper out there, who
thought his highest deal at court was to
interview the king. How he did this, is
well known to those who were reading the
papers two months back, and he did it to
the entire satisfaction of st. Stephen
Cleveland and the astute Bayard, no doubt
because he had evidently been prompted
perhaps by Mr.. Bayard himselt-to wear
a jumper and knee breaches upon his first
presentation. And. in order that he might
intimate decidedly who was President and
who Secretary of State and the Importance
of the American republic generally, he
proposed to sit on the right hand of the
throne until the court chamberlain quietly
but favorably informed him in an anti
chamber of his mistake.
By this time the visitor at the State
Department will be so over pressed by the
grandeur of st. Stephen Cleveland and the
Machiavellic Bayard that he will grope
his way out, a quieter and more humble
martial than he entered.