The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1888-06-15
THE esn1lsmAnLY CLERK.
He Thought He Knew q Thing or Two.
But Was sadly Mistaken.

tho AnOuSnt re hncM = IUluS or LHos
But Was sadly Mistaken.
Now. that name.' said the hotel
clerk. running his diamond-hilted fin
ger down the register. and pausing at
the name of Gurlproat. s.that name is
fraud. That man is travelling incog.,
and there is something crooked about
him.
why do you think SOP" inquired
reporter on the trail Of fugitive item
why do think so? Why. ! almost
know it-in fact. / do know it intui-
lively. It is my business to be famil-
lar with names and the derivation and
nationality of them. Now. there is no
such name as GurIproat. 1t is neither
English, Irish. Scotch. German. Swe-
dish. Welch. French. Spanish. Italian.
Russian. Malay. Greek. Norwegian or
Choctaw. 1t is n machine name. man
ufactured for an emergency, some
thing like the characters in Dickens
novels-the Veneerings Podsnaps.
Weggs. Dorrltts. Jaggers. Eickelbys
and Chuzzlewits. l am obliged. you
know. to be sharp in my business "
Are there any other ear-marks by
which ron know this man to be q
fraud?o
We'll. yes; have spoken TO him on
several occasions. calling him BY name
-Gurlproat-and on every occasion
he has appeared to fail to recognizs
the name as at all familiar, and have
10 repeat it tell you he is fly fakir
from Flytown. He il a queer. and yon
can bet high on that =
Now. there is a man" continued
the hotel clerk. pointing TO another
square-toed specimen of caligraphy.
that man Jones. there, A @ Jones.
he's all o. K There is no subterfuge
about him. He comes in and planks
down his gripsaek- deposits a roll OF
bills in the safe. calls for a stylus, in
dprses the register and there you have
straight and hlt-fpotel A @ Jones.
3. O00 in his role in the safe. He is :
man who will do to tie up TO. We
have to be good judges of human ma
ture in this business. I tell you. and
are obliged to be teetotally and strictly
/ sharp But Jones is solid with this
| house He has been here week now
and have advanced him $3.50 or $500
on his roll "
You are sure the roll contains mon
ey. are you?" inquired the reporter.
csreiessly.
Sure, Why. it is an express pack
age. sealed. and the amount marked
on the corner Guests often leave
them with us for security"
Il should want to know that it wa.
all right before | loaned m5ney on it. y
pursued the reDor ter
That's where you would fool your.
self That's where you would insult
guests and drive trade away. But
the sharp clerk spike this little ui,-
easily-''just to show you what .
square man Jones is. I'll send mp thi:
BILL and the clerk proceeded te
sound a loud timbrel which summoned
a bell boy
Here. run up to 50 with this" said
the clerk.
While the bell bov was on his mission
the suspicious GurIproat came up Il
the office To settle his bill
That's shim-Gurlproat" said tA,
clerk. forming the words with hi,
mouth without uttering soundi 30 ?;
two days and ha.tn
..Hav?'' said the despised Gurlproat
Two days and half-eight and
at the reporter.
Eight dollars
Eight and quarter"
"All right-correet." and Mr.. Curl
proat rendered ten-dollar bill tn,
sharp clerk spent five minutes CRITICAL,
examining and testing the same Will,
doing so the suspected guest observed
..If Colonel James Gurlproat. o
Montgomery, Ala. calls for me. pleas,
tell him have gone to Washington. "
The hotel clerk looked suddenly up
and his face was like a circus-poste
gilded by the rays of sunset
Are you Congressman Gurlproat o
Alabama?' he inquired
'Hay''
Are you Congressman Gurlproat o
Alabama?n
mo. 1 am his brother. l am Judg
Guriproat. formerly of the Suprem
Bench"
He had his change. and in anothe
Instant the porter was obsequiousl
escorting him out to a carriage.
Why" exclaimed the clerk, at
singular happened to forget that Cur
: proat family of Montgomery. 1t ju:
beats all Funny. isn't it when 20
miss mans name
The bell boy returned at this inter
esting juncture of the proceedings wit
the startling information that A.
Jones had skipped. bag aud baggage
hook. line and sinker. foot, horse an
dragons. The clerk turned white an
his finger shook Ike a splinter on
rail in the wind. as he suddenly weT
aown into the safe after the expires
package. He fshed it up. tore off tn
end and proceeded to shake out-a ger
. erous wqd of newspaper clippings, SON
. If it gems of poetry. the balance choiC
D extracts from the humorous papers IN
medical reading notices = Teras ssf
ings.
$ innocence Imposed Upon
1 Caller Ito Bobby, in his first trou