The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-12-16
BRIGHT BITS

| Good many Of the cashiers who are settling
| in Canada are those who have neglected to do
any settling over here-Wau Street Neics
REASON FOR Joy-"Ah." excla med the mat
| terof-fact man joyfully, as he saw the heading
| in the newspaper. Trials of Authors" so
| they've arrested some OF those COMPOUNDED
| poets at last have they? Wouldn't like to be
| on the Ju7y.'-HGrper's BGzGr.
AMATEUR PHOTOGRAPHER (who has been show
| ing some of his attemps at portraiture)-I
shonld like to take your little girl, you wouldn't
| mind
Lutte girl (who has seen the specimens)- oh
| no. MammB don't let him take NELL be good
-NoonSiihe.
HE-I am proud. assure you, to make the
| acquaintance Of q lady whose fame is so wide
| spread.
sae-Oh, I am quite an insignificant person,
| believe me.
He-No, upon my honor I've heard of you
| since the year one!-Bit6dto Courier.
ELDERLY sPINsrER Ito dry goods clerk)-In
| look at some Stockns, Mister.
Clerk-Stockings, mum? Yes, mum. Some
thing for yourself?
Elderly spinster scanning him over her spec
tacieS -Sartain, young man; dye think I'm
buyin' stockins for the neighborho0d - The
Epoch.
ANARCHISTS wIFE-Did you blow oop dot
COURT house cop alreatty to-nighty
Great Anarchist-Naw; too tired vas to carry
dot dynamite bomb.
Vat makes you so dired?"
81 20 to dot meeting OF dose Anarchists con
spirators und got tired to my death NIT dose
long speeches. Philadelphia Record
KITTY Ciust up from a long illness to friend
calling upon herJ-I'n crazy to get out to see
the styl-s. haven't thing to wear that's fit
TO be seen.
Clara-Tll go shopping with you. I know
lust what to get. Grandma died since you've
been sick, you know, and I've got the giddiest
mourning trousst al ouU.-Ep0ch.
sHE-I can only be sister to you, Henry
lie with repressed emotion)-How old are
you;
She (curiously)-Twenty, last October.
He-Well, you can't be sister to me. I've
got sister at home who was twenty last
August, ana you see that sort of relationship
won't work Try something else. Washington
Post
OBEDIENT BoY-Mamma, may speak?
"You know that you must not talk at table. "
May not say just one thing:'
No my boy. When papa has read his paper
you may speak y $780,
Papa reads through his paper and says
kindlJO-"Now, child. what is it ?"
Il only wanted to say that the water pipe in
the bathroom had burst.'-Ffegende Btatter.
WILLIE PoprNJAy-Sis, what is meant by "un-
conscious humOrf'
Angelina Popniay-I can't give you an exact
definition of it, Willie, but can give you an ex.
ample.
Wie-Well. give us an example.
Angulina-When pa came into the room
where ma trying to nail up that bracket
yesterday and said We'll. what are you driv-
ing at now Burlington Free Press
IT Is RELATED by the cultured Eugene Field
that when thu venerable Jacob Levy lay upon
his death bed he was approached by friend
who sought to cheer him by holding out vain
acknowledgements and specious promises.
Jacob, said the friend, bow foolish of you
to talk of dying Why, never saw you 10 X
ing so well in all my life before Brace up
YOU II Ii % to be 100 years old. "
Mine friend" answered the invalid, impress
lively ''you make a m.s axes ven you tiugs
live so long Der Lord isn't going der take me
at 100 ven he can get ME at 75."-Rochester
Union.