The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-17
BRIGHT BITS.

As between the cigarette and the grade cross
ing, iC is an open question which is the more
philadelphia Inquirer.
How would it work for the woman suffragists
70 colonze and govern the Territory of No
Man Land:-Sprt1qfeLd Uitton
WHEN woman is first married she desires to
be called Madam" Some years later she feels
tremendously complimented by being called
Miss, '-Merchdnt TrdUelcr.
He lat a very late hour with deep tenderness)
How can / leave thee?
Sne-Really, Mr.. Slayer, l cant tell you. l
wish to heaven could Washington critic.
A MAN has sent S25 conscience money to a
church. II is supposed he always slept during
the sermon and was at last awakened to the
fact that he ought to pay for his lodgings
Norist0Un Herald.
LADY TO KENTUCKY CITTzEN--You didn't stay
very long in Europe, Col, Blood. What brought
you home so soony
Col. Blood--It was a so-called American cock
tail, madam, that got in London.-Epoch.
Country MINISTER Ito deacon)-Deacon, you
have reputation of knowing something about
horses. I've got an animal that's ballly. What
do you do in such a case?
DeacOn-l sell him.-Acctdent Neics.
DR. BIGBIL1-You may thank your stars. sir.
that physicians in these days don't bleed
patients afflicted with your malady as they
used to-
Patient tdubiously)-rm not SO sure that they
upl l, uOClOIs-DttfOlt ffee JfeSS.
A YOUNG LADY living up town received special
delivery letter. The messenger handed her the
book to sign for it. She took the book, and in
stead of writing her signature she wrote: Dear
John: Glad to hear from you, Come up Sunday
night" She had answered the letter.-Phjid-
deiphid NelcS,
AFTER THE PARTY--First candid miss of 10
What do you think of Jimmy Roberts? think
he's Just splendid
Second candid miss don't-he tried to kiss
me last night!
And didn't he do it?'
NO, he let me get away from him"--Detroit
Free Press.
THE King of Spain is Il months old and gets
$1,000 600 year. If the King lives a reasonably
frugal life he will have accumulated money
enough at 40 years of age to run a Socialist
newspaper at least SIX months. But why spec
ulate on that! The King will probably have
sense as well as dollars enough not to attempt
BtaghGmptoH Republican.
SARAH BERNHARDT expressed a wish the other
day that her son Maurice were in America so
that he could cuff Maurice Barrymore If the
gifted actress reads the papers and has seen an
account of BauymOre's latest exploit in giving
a sound fiogging last Thursday evening to a gi-
gantic bully in New York who had insulted a
lady she Is probably glad her son Maurice is not
within cutting distance Of the other Maurice
Chicago Tribune.
A PRIME ARTIcLE.-"B Bartender, give me some
of that good liquor had last night"
IN sorry 10 say, COLONEL mat made mis-
take last night, and gave you the wrong bottle. y
Yes, suppose so. Here I've been trading at
your ranch for ten years and you only give me
the good liquor by m stake"
But that wasn't whisky at all -
what was it?"
"Carbolic acid. Nebraska State.
THEY were reading of the festivities at a fash
iOnable wedding.
Cyrus" said the fair girl. as she looked
proudly at the young man, the account says
he IA win q bp hrf . eli
per Iou wouldn't do such thing as that
would you2 Even if the slipper were mine you
wonld not let the temptation cause you to VIC
late your solemn promise never to drink wine
again, would you. Cyrus>'
Never exclaimed Cyrus; drink it from a
slipper? Faugh."
Letters and rings have been returned. They
meet as strangers Chicago Tribune.