The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1888-10-13
HUMOROUS.

Takes as a whole, the Indians. al
though illiterate, are the best red race
IN the world.-Haper's Bosar.
Truth told now does not shame the
devil, but rs a novelty it attracts his at
tention.-NeU Orleans Picay,ne.
THE secrets Of much success in this
world are cash, confidence, cheerful
ness and constancy.- baltimore 1Heri-
can.
The world is not so bad as it is badly
painted. One straw vote fend has
been killed on the railroad-New Or
leans P.cagtule.
Mr. VAN V.-All alone. see, Miss
Quilt Miss Quilt-Yes. Mr.. Van V
| hate my own company. Miss Quilt
So do Thine.
HUSBAND Ga bow-legedn man, at Sar-
atoga l-"Shall We ride or walk, nv
dear Y' Wi'c-"We will ride, John,
love, you look better in a carriage -
Epoch.
CAN a young man marry comfortably
on $500 "A year ?" asks correspondent
Yes, he can; but he Will be deuced I'M
comfortable. afterward. -Bur!ington (Ia.)
Free Press.
THE circus tumbler makes his sum
mer salt from a spring board, landing
on IA mattress that breaks his fall He
will do this all winter if inducements
are held out.-Nelc Orleans Picayuae.
"WHY, Mrs. Ballard How do you
do ~ Quite well. How are YOU, Mrs.
Jones? How did you find me in all
this crowd ?" "By your bonnet. It's
the third summer for it, isn'tit ?''-B0s-
ton Journal.
SHOCKED mother-Oh, you bad boy
I've just heard that you were lighting
with the boy next door. Don't you
ever quarrel with him again. Small
PhjladdDhia Record.
SKIDMORE-There goes one of the
most remarkable men of the present
day. Hawkins-Indeed What mas he
done ? Skidmore-Began keeping a
diary January and dIdn't stop until
last week. Cartoon.
TRAMP Ito editor)-Can you help a
professional brother, sir, who is suder-
Ing from writer's cramp Editor
Why, | s'pOsc 50. Do YOU know pei
manent cure Tramp-No, sir; but
% cents to buy a meal never fai 5 to al
ford me temporary relief.
BoGLER-I see that Johnson has gone
into the frog business again. It's one
of the curiosities Of human nature that
people will not take warning by disas-
ter. Mrs. Bogler-On the same princi-
pie, suppose, that so many widows get
married.-Terre Hdtae Express.
IL race between zebra and an os-
trich held in Zanzibar recently the prize
was given the rider of the zebra. al
although the ostrich came 100 yards
ahead. The zebra's jockey claimed
that his rival won on a fowl, and the
judge sustained hIm.-Harper's Bo5ar.
"YEs, George" she said, "Uncle
James is lawyer as well as papa and
Uncle Henry" PLENTY Of lawyers,
dear" he remarked with a smile.
Yes, George; but they are handy for a
young lady to have in the family IN the
event of any crawiishing, you Know
Time.
Modern author dumping up from a
dictionary)-Eureka Pve found it (.
I'll have new novel ready in a week.
Friend-Found what-a plot? "No.
haven't thought of plot yet, but I've
found a queer word that no known
writer ever used before. PhHudelpbiu
Record.
LADY GAY-Professor, among your
lectures on England, Russia, Italy and
Canada, which draws the best Pro-
fessor-Canada. Lady Gay-And which
draws the most arstocratic audiences
PrOfesssr-O, Canada. Brings in all the
bank tellers and confidential Clerks
Cartoon.
Dry goods clerk 10 beautiful custom
er)-EXcuse me, but are you not Miss
Smith Customer (frigidlv): That is
my name, sir" Clerk: "You were at
Saratoga in August? ? Customer {hau-
"a II ~ n,rA- cie / l.
twelve yards of this piece" Clerk:
Cash "'-Ep0cb.
\ FARMER travelling in a foreign land
for the first time, becoming somewhat
anxious about the condition of his live
stock, telegraphed home: "Is things
all right at the barn JoHN BREEN."
His stable boy, whose conversation was
proverbially laconic, Immediately tele-
graphed back; John BREEN-Things
Is. ROBERT. "-HdTPcr'S Maqdzjae
THE Rev. Charles Poundtext (who
has been writing his sermon, looking
W suddenly will YOU take the
children out of the room for a few min
utes Mrs. Poundtext lin surprise)-
&, rtainly, my dear. But are thew an
moving you? The Rev. Poundtext-
Not at all; but have just dipped the
mucilage brush in the ink Wen, and
would ike to be at liberty to make a
few Icmarks.-Lye.
4 LADY who is refined to the extent
that her lords big money has been
made III lard, entered one Of the bic
dry goods houses YESTERDAY afternoon
and approached the dapper young
man who presides over the south end
Of the hosiery counter. Il would
like" she said, about two more
pair Of those 81 black stockings.
They suit me better than others be-
cause they are The only black stockings
| have ever purchased that have not
croaked.' The young man, who was
wise beyond his years, remarked that
this was probably because they had
been well dyed already.-Chi ago Her
ad
"CoNING now" said the campaign or
ator after speaking two hours and half.
coming now to the subject OF the tar
III Look here, mister" called one
of the auditors from the rear of the hall
"can't YOU choke off your speech and
let us folks get away? It's past miikin'
time already" "What have | to do
with COWS ?" Indignantly demanded the
orator. AS was saying on the sub
jet of tariff" But. persisted the
impatient auditor. "bein' a stranger in
this town mebhe you don't know all ea-
looms close az shutdown" 'IHa," ex-
claimed the orator. Speaking of the
tariff, | was about to say that it should
always be spoken of respectfully We
will adjourn. - Cheap Times.
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Yam Phon Lee
From the san Francisco Chronicle
Yam Phon Lee, the Chinese Yale