News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1888-09-20
ADUDE'S DILEMMA.
He CouIdn't Spell Narragansett, So
he Had to G o to Newport

The st. James Hotel is torn upside
down on account of the many repairs
which Capt. Conner is having made Ill
that favorite hostelry. The resultant
confusion has removed the typewriter
brass railinged corner from one OF the
Broadway windows back towards the
clerk s desk, and temporarily left III front
of it, one of the large leather-covered set
tees in which guests of the hotel lounge.
[ was ensconsed q recent afternoon IN a
corner of this snug haven of rest. My
reading was suddenly disturbed by the
voice of someone addressing the young
woman typewriter. The accent was so
high and so nearly effeminate that ]
turned to see whether the person was Of
masculine or feminine gender. found
the SPEAKER was dressed in male attire.
1 found afterward that he was a Louis
vile dude, and one of q party of eight
from Mr.. Watterson's home, who had
registered at the st. James. He wished
the typewriter to prepare a letter to q
young lady in Louisville informing her
that he would reach that city at GER
tain time and requesting her to invite
"eight couples" to theater box party
which he and friend desired to give.
"Tell her" he said, in a high note to
the typewriter, only he pronounced the
feminine pronoun as if spelled "hah: p
"Tell her that I am preparing -arrang-
ing, you getting ready-ah, fix
ing baggage in shape to go to Narragan-
sett Pier this evening. and that I will be
in Louisville about Saturday week.
Just fix that idea to suit yourself"
"No; we don't do that way" said the
pretty young typewriter, with toss
of her thickly tressed head. 81 am only
here to do typewriting. Anything you
dictate to me I will print on the ma
chine"
"Well, you know, am not bit par
ticular," said the Louisville imbccile !;
''young lady is not particular, either.
just fix it up in your own way and it
will be all right"
Evidently the little woman was not
certain of her own powers, for she said ::
"No, we don't do business that way. /
don't compose letters: [ am only a
typewriter. You will have to dictate to
me-" And she looked straight before her
with compressed lips.
"Well, gasped the youth from Ken
lucky, with long-drawn breath, "begin
by saying that L am preparing to go to
Narragansett Pier tonight"
The little, rose tipped fingers played
over the machine as though it were
piano, and when in few minutes the
''tip- tap music ceased, the maiden re-
peated, in mechanical way: 81 am
preparing to go to-what is the name of
that placer
"Narragansett Pier" replied, in an
absent-minded way, the young man, who
was evidently mentally struggling with
the further erection of his verbal struc-
ture.
Chow do you spell Narragansett ?"
asked the public's secretary.
The Louisvillian looked at her blank
ly for a moment, and then began:
"N-i-a"-then he hesitated and suddenly
rs his face Frightened with an inspir,-
ton, he exclaimed: "No, that's not
right. You spell it your own way. Just
plain Narragansett, you know"
81 can't spell it," said the young
woman decisivelY as she crossed her
hands on her lap.
"Well, I'm sure l can't" replied the
embarrassed correspondent hopelessly.
"Neither can /, said the typewriter,
indifferently. "What will we do about
it,"
The maiden appeared as serene MS n
June morning. The youths brow was
knitted in what to him was thought.
He was evidently badly perplexed. Sud
denly the creases were smoothed and
his face lightened as he exclaimed: "I'll
tell you what we'll do, I'll go TO New
port. You can spell Newport, can't
youl"
Had I not heard all this myself I
would not believe the narrator of it.