Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1888-04-07

Wsehin.to, v.,.c,., r.-.,n,,,.r

DafneAy In Sharpe.
wasAington National RepubIican
Severalspeciesof harmony have beendis
covered BY the industrious investigator
There = harmony in music, which il saidtl
have charms 10 soothe the savage breast
There Is social harmony which proverbial
y makes one love his nei2hbor as him
SELF THERE'S harmony In the air, which
prevails when the weather prophet is OF
hD good behavior. and when the
Republican party, as now, is ON the home
stretch with no competitor In sight. And
there is Democratic harmony, which is
Like oil and water seasoned with the
essence Of carpet tacks.
Ethnologically as we'll as chemically
Democratic harmony is peculiar. The
original and genial Reed, Of Maine, has
located its origin and its objective point
in his suggestion that hell and harmony
begin with the same letter. But even Lis
keenness has failed to observe that the
article which Satan's kingdom furnished
in the original package the spirit OF
Democracy has improved upon, so that
now it is as alcohol to water or as vitriOl
unto milk. Ever since the meeting OF the
fiftieth Congress every good and faithful
Democrat has been adding armsful of fuel
to the fire which is to boil down the
harmony OF hades into q solution beside
which fiery caustic is feeble.
To the unsophisticated observer this
Democratic harmony is an enigma. We
are told daily by the organs, which
squeak and creak out OF time and in all
sorts of time, that the Democratic party
is united so firmly that it could not be
drawn apart by any appliance within the
possibility of human invention. A
broken plate reunited with forty horse
power cement is nothing to the determine
ton of the Democratic party to throw
itself into it's associated arms, with the
VOW of eternal love doing and dying to-
gether.
One of the materials that has thus &C.
mented the brotherhood of Democracy is
the free trade policy of the administration.
Brother Randall yearns for an opportunity
to throw his arms about the neck of Bro
ther Cleveland, and Brother Brown, the
venerable senator for the moonshine region
of Georgia, would fain mingle tears Of JOY
with those of Brother Beck, of the whisky
ring. The brethren of the protection jour-
mails in bourboDdom are writing daily pane
gyrics upon their good Brother Mills, who
becomes in their view brilliant free trade
crank or pitiable fool, as the weather and
other stimulants happen to strike them.
Then, on the other hand, Brother Randalps
plan for abolishing the internal revenue
system inspires the love Of all the other
brethren from the white house down to
Little Boss Mills. BY way of expressing
their love for its suthor, they kindly relieve
him of all party cares and labors; they
will perform his duties for him. The
reportthat good Brother Scott will sharpen
his knife on the white house steps, for
testing the quality of Brother Randall's
blood, is only new way of describing the
ardor of his affection. All the Demo-
cratic brethren favor general COM
mingling of each others blood on the
tariff issue for harmony's sake.
Other qualities of cement have served to
stick the Democratic fragments together.
Brother Beck pokes his harp money
brethren under the ribs with tenderness
characteristic of bears hug. Brother
Vest sharpens his constitutional blade on
the shinbone of an erring supporter of
the Blair bill and tries its edge on the
calf of another who votes for pensions
just for love, you know. Brother Spoford
sends evidences of his distinguished
consideration for Mr.. Bayard and his
foreign policy, and Democratic senators
considerably repudiate his treaties. The
adhesive quality of the cemented factions
when they come tothe presidentialquestion
is positively insurmountable. The men
who love Cleveland for the enrmies he
has made are searching everywhere for
compliments and bouquets with which to
decorate the Danas, and the Voorheeses,
and the Tillmans, and the other brethren
who cherish Brother Hill as q thing of
beauty that should be JOY forever to the
ardent Democratic heart In turn, these
brethren are in secret converting their i'm
plements of war into plOughshares with
which to prepare the soil for the Cleve-
land free trade harvest. Brother Hill
goes so far as to advise his friends to
make it pleasant for Brother Cleveland in
the preliminary canvass and to refrain
from knitting him at the polls should he
bear the harmonious Democratic stand
ard. Brother Cleveland meanwhile is re-
lieving the friends of Brother Hill as well
forcing such burdens upon others, and
WORKING 6iC6F O1uC0 uOuTS OCucEWlS0 10
disseminate the dynamite of his regard.
The adherents of the two brothers in
New York are preparing to bury their
tomahawks peacefully-in each others
abdomens. The Pendleton and Mclean
brothers in Ohio, the Albeit and Blod-
gett admirers in New Jersey, and the am
orous Harmonious in Indiana are Guilt
waiting the olive branch to conceal the
poisoned chalice circulated for each 9th
ers' eternal enjoyment. All, all are wait
ing good naturededly to knife the other
fellows who are conspiring against Demo
cratic harmony on this fellows line.