The Penn's Grove record., 1888-03-24

, WHAT THE T1TLk wAs.-"Miss
Laura said the Professor, 'I may be
trespassing on your time, but 1 am of
the opinion that in the study Of the
history of a gwen bypotactic subjunct.
i've construction, no other procedure
| should for a moment be thought of until
the most careful investigation has been
conducted on the hypothesis of an ulti-
mate paratactic origin, with a descent
| affected or not affected. as the case NAV
be, BY psychological influences
ii beg pardon for interupting you,
Professor" said the young lady, t.but
something strlkingly similar to that OBJ
servation occurs in Judge Tourgee's
latest lecture"
s'Indeedp l was not aware Of 1t. May
1 ask what Is the subject of the lee.
tureP" inquired the Professor, with
pleased interest.
"The title of II" replied Miss Laura,
with seraphic sweetness, lis Give Us
a Rest"
In less than thirty seconds the Pro-
fessOr had made his way out of the par
lor, put on his hat and overcoat, emer-
zed from the front door anu was
breasting the bowling night winds in
the direction Of his lonely dormitory,
-
SOMEWHAT MIXED,-The mother of
two sons, twins, mel n of the broth.
ers in the field n morning.
(which of you two boys am 1 talking
TOP" asked TIE mother; sis it you or
your brotherf"
"Why do you ask" inquired the lad,
prudently.
because if 1t is your brother 1 will
box his ears"
sit is not my brother. 1t is l." :,
'.Then your brother Is wearing O u
coat, for yours had a hole In it,"
mo, mother, l am wearing my own
GOOD heavens!" shrieked the mother,
looking at him intently, ''you are your
brother after ALL"
A NATURAL QUEsTIoN.-Our Mabel
not long since began going to school,
and she likewise imbibed or developed
considerable willfulness, which grieved
her parents. One night, Is she was re-
peating her goodnight prayer, which
wound up with the usual formula, "And
make me a good girl, amen," her mo-
Their said to her:
"Mabel, don't you know You ask to
be made a good girl every night, but
you ain'tp"
"Yes. mamma, 1 know It," was the
reply: shut why don't God make me
good thenp"
HELPING THE MoNKEY.-"Dan,"
,aid a ~four-year-Old, give me five cents
10 buy a monkey"
"We have one monkey in the house, |
now." said the elder brother.
"Who is 1t, DAMP"
"You," was the reply.
"Then give me five cents to buy the
monkey some nuts"
The brother could not resist.
A NORTH SIDE MATRON bought a
roll OF oilcloth at a neighboring store.
"Shall l have it dellvered?" asked
The merchant.
mo, thanks" was the reply. 81
,hall carry it home, and all the women
IN our street will think l have the very
attest thing out in the way of a pocket
book.
JoBsoN-"Pret,y cold weather this,
lelghbor." Nobson-''Yes; beastly to
AVE 1t come on go sudden. If it had !
only come along by degrees we should
lot feel 1t so much" Jobson-"Well,
think that 1t did come along by de-
yrees, twenty or thirty OF them in
.w~antv.fONr hOnrs
IN giving primary language lessons a
eacher wrote upon the blackboard the
words Ingram Brussels WILTON
md requested her pupils to write each ,
|. sentence containing one of these
words. One boy displayed his ingenuity
IS follows: "A hedgehog has brussels
N his back"
"JoHN," said a farmers wife, s'afore
We start for home l think I'D ought
O have that tooth pulled out. It's
.ched the hull day." II know Mariar.'
John. obviously. shut by the
line we get that jug filled, and the plug
.erbacker, VT hain't goin' to have much
eft to spend on luxuries."
1t is admitted by foreign electricians
hat the progress made in the United
States In the utilization Of electricity
s far in advance of that of any other