Morning journal and courier., 1888-06-07
PROPER.

A man cannot kick himself with the
 proper spirit. He never knows how to fe- ,ssnt it.-New Orleans Pieayune.
 H If the Indian chief Rain-insthe-face were
 civilized he could change his name to Rain
 on-his- umbrella Washington Critic.
 His Misfortune. --Ed-"Yes, Gus was intox-
 ioated, but the count struck him and he was
 sobered at once.'' Old Guzzler-"S Sobered
 at once! Poor eIlow."-Tid-Bits.
 Miss Ethel-.sBut surely, Clara, you
 wouldn't marry man for his money?'
 Miss Clara-sCertainly not, er-that is,
 unless he was very old n."-New York
 Sun.
 A Pennsylvania man who had landslide
 of about million tons come down on his
 COW pasture posted the following sign on the
 debris ts A new lot just received. For sale
 cheap. Burlington Free PressF
 It is said that tsbrains will tell" Some
 times they will and sometimes they will not.
 Sometimes the more brains man has the
 less he tells It doesn't always answer for
 brains to telI.-Lowell Courier. ssIt's cold day when get left, :" said the
 cake of ice, looking up snilingly at the ex-
 asperated housekeeper. And then she got
 as warm as it was when she didn't have any ice at all the day before.-Somerville Jour nal.
 Whe says that advertising does not pay? A Chicago burglar overlooked s80 in bu- reau drawer, and the papers so announced. He returned the next night and not only se- | cured it, but suit of clothes besides.-Bos- ton Post.
 'fpve seen worse cigars than this," said Smith, as he placidly surveyed a Chiaroscura Jones who had inhaled some of the smoke,
 tfYou told me the other day that you had 1 travelled further and seen more than I have, and believe you, my boy, I.believe you."- Boston Courier.
 Confirmed bachelor-How time does fly, | Miss Seasidel Why, it was ten years ago | that you refused me on this very spot. Miss I Seaside .(who wishes she hadn't t)-So | long as that! I was very young and foolish
 then, MT. Smith. Connrmed bachelor-But | we are both older and wiser now, n'est-ce-pasi I-Harvard Lampoon.
 | A well known humorist, who bubbled over | with hearty hospitality, was entertaining some guests at dinner when one of the guests remarked to the hosts little daughter: Ioul papa's real funny man, isn't he9" The I child looked up from her pie long enough to answer seriously saYes; papa is always I funny when we have comp'ny. y."-Boston Journal.
 1 St. Peter-fYou were 8 wicked reporter, see and only went to church when sent there to take sermons. How many sermons did you report?" Reporter-"One 8 week for 20 years, SU times OS 1S-LWIc6 uOuSQG uOuRuU, twice two are four, twice five are ten-1 ,040
 sermons, sir" ''Go over to that feecy cloud and lie down and rest" "How long can stay theref' 'Forever. ."-Omaha World. A Good Reason Whv.-They had been talk ing of the sharp games played on innocent people by sharp men, when Green looked up and said, "Gentlemen, I don't brag about | my wife being sharper than a razor, but I'll | tell you what I'll do. I'll write note, sign | it with my own name and ask her to deliver my Sunday suit to bearer for repairs. You l may send it up to the house, and I'll bet you | s5 she'll be too sharp to let the clothes go." 'tWe'n take that bet!" called two or three ! voices, and there being five of them they | clipped in dollar apiece. The note was written and signed and dispatched by mes
 senger boy. In half an hour he returned, empty handed as to clothes, but having a note which read "Come off the perch! All l the clothes you hays in the world are on your | baek!" "Gentlemen," said the winner as he pocketed his flyer, 'let me recommend it to l you as something which always wins, and as | must meet a man at 3 o'clock I will now | bid vou good day."-Detroit Free Press.