Morning journal and courier., 1888-03-30
SOMETIMES.

A citizen Of Ypsilanti has made collec-
ton of ninety-two different kind of axes, but
for all that his wife says he sometimes swears
about knots in the stove wood.-Lewell Citi-
zen.
PaterfamiIias lin bed)-"Is that young
Sampson still in the parlor with Clara?"
Materfamilias Qistening)-sI think he is.
Everything is very quiet down there. -
Puck.
Mother-"And do you really feel so very
bad, Bobbya" Bobby-''Yes, ma. I amt
quite sick enough to need any medicine, but
Pm little bit too sick to go to SCHOOL,
Sun.
Room for .-Minister-"And
do you expect to be a,lawyer when you grow
up, like your father, Bobbya" Bobby-fYes,
sir; expect to be lawyer, but ma hopes I
won't be one like pa. THE Epoch.
A contemporary says: "New York's Mayor
acts as if he owned the politicians" Preced-
ing New York Mayors have acted as If they
were owned by the politicians. Mayor Hew-
tit deserves credit for making new DEPART
ure.-Norristown Herald.
A western magistrate who decided that
person may fry onions, regardless of the in
convenience the odor OF the cooking gives the
neighbors, was defeated for re election last
week by majority of 1900 in vote of
l, ,575.-Norristown Herald.
Dumley-s'I've made bet with Robinson
that can walk from Twenty-third to Forty
second street in eight minutes" Brown
"Youn lose, Dumley, sure" -Dumley-
''Think soa" Brown-'I know SO; too many
saloons on the wsy."-Epoch.
"Johnny, what business do you expect to
engage in when you are MANI" "Oh, I'll
be a colonel, like pop, and write articles
about the late war" ''But you won't be
able to; YOU never saw the late war" s'Neith-
or did pop. Lincoln (Neb.) Journal
Lady-''Are you acquainted with Miss
Schmidtg' Dude-sYaas; talked with her
for half an hour the other night at the
ball Awful stupid cweature." Glow so?"
'sWhy, you see, she nevah opened her
mouth the whole time was talking to her. !"
''Wbats Didn't she even yawnF-Texas
Siftings.
ssMore labor trubbles," sighed Murphy,
putting on his coat; 'fmore labor trubbles.
Whin will the poor workin' man in this land
have peace and his henist rights?' "What's
the mattar!' asked Mrs. Murphy; "another
lockouta'' stNo," replied the laborer weari-
ly; ''the boss has yielded to our demands
and now I've got to go to work again
Texas Siftings
A Chance to Show Attention.-'Do you
think, Miss Ethel" he inquired tremulously,
''that could see your father this EVENING""
81 hardly think SO, Lastyn," she replied,
with a soft and not unbecoming laugh.
"Papa is in the library with Mr.. Getthere,
and l expect he will need me, too, in few
minutes. But sure that any other even
ing papa would be moro than happy to have
you call on him. He is always pleased when
young people show him attention. Puck.
At the park-Mr. Thrippair Bacque (who
is showing Miss Terrie Hatt the sights of the
town)-''Look at those seals, Miss Huttl
Don't you think they're sorter int'resting?
See 'em flop about" Miss Terrie Hutt tstern-
ly)-''I think they're an awful waste of raw
material, if you wanter know, Mr.. Baeque.
I calculate there's sacque and half in each
one of those insects, and now they're natur-
allied don't s'pose there's cent of duty on
'em. Where did you say the monkeys cage
was?"-Puck