Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-07-21
HUMOR.

No MATTER how high an awning may
be suspended. it is only shade above
the street
PROFESSIONAL pedestrians would
please the public better to walk of
rather than often.-Teras SutingS.
PETER Tin Florida hoteD-Gertrude,
here is genuine Florida cracker. Ger
trude-Get o pound of them, father.
I'm not hungry just now.-Ttd- Bis.
SroUT old lady Ito clerkl-Iou keep
good corsets, do you. young man?
CLERK Yes, ma'am, our corsets are
simply immense. Stout old lady leaves
in huff. Epoch.
A STUMP orator wanted the wings of
bird to fly to every village and ham,
! lot in the broad land; but he collapsed
when man in the crowd sang out,
you'd be shot for a goose before you
| flew mile.
"YoU mustn't doubt my word" OBJ
served Joe Chamberlain, after an inter-
esting yarn; truth, you know, is
stranger than fiction" "To you pos
siby," put in an Irish member, who
was one of the listeners. london
Punch.
MARIAN HARLANb's idea that every
woman should have her own bank ac-
count will meet with general approval.
A large number of ornamental young
men have found their chief difficulties
in life to arise from the scarcity of that
kind of women.
MAIDEN forty and romantic)-I sup
pose it must appear very lonely to you
when all the company leave the sea-
shore? Fisherman-Dreadf marin.
But you see it gives us chance to rest
our minds, and be ready to answer
,,uestions next year.
"SAY, Bnb, hear your folks are 60
ing to have conversation club at your
house this winter" yep; we got one. !"
"Who are the members?" We and
mother. / furnish the conversation and
mother provides the club. Emmy more2"
Detroit Free Press.
A WRITER in an Eastern fashion maya
zine asks despondently, Nv hat shall
we wear?" If the weather is as tickle
in her vicinity as it is in Milwaukee, we
would suggest that she put on few
clothes ere the mercury takes drop of
forty degrees. -PeckS San.
PASSENGER ION Southern railroad)-
How long will we stop at the next
station for lunch, conductor? Con-
ductor--I dunno vet. | telegraphed
ahead for fried chicken, and if it's
ready when we get there We won't stop
more'n ten minutes. lid Bits.
GRANDFATHER ToTTER Ito aged WIFE
I was a-tellin' the minister yistidy,
Mirandy, tibet you'll be 81 year old to-
morrer. Grandmother Totter (indig.
nartly) Well, yc had no right to say nc
sech thing, John Totter; I'll only be
81. Ye ought to be more keerful.
We see that Bologna is to celebrate
her eighth centenary next June. Ah
ha! We have some at our boarding
house much older than that, but be-
You'd striking fire when it is hit with q
carving fork it doesn't call public at
tention to it's age at all.-BurdeH'.
YOUNG MATRoN-Stand in the cor
ner, Rob; you won't attend q bit to the
lessons I try to give you. l shall senG
you to an elementary school to morrow
Terrible child hope it'll be one
, where there's lot of nice, pretty gov
ernesses like you, ma! Oh, then, vii
en- oy myself so, ma, uear - ut.
, ONE of our correspondents attended
J d large union meeting, O few Sundays
ago, in which somewhat flower,
young preacher prayed as follows: "C
| Lord, we ask that thou wilt bless the
Y. Nj. c. A" This is equal to thu
} colored mans ascription # thanks tt
, the Deity for what he had done for thu
, world, both B. c. and A. D."
, "You have very sour look this
morning." remarked a cucumber to hi
neighbor, dyspeptic strawberry
t "Yes," W, the tart reply; zone is nee
essarily unpleasantly affected whel
compelled to associate with such
seedy party as you are" ",auliflowe
by any other name twill smell a
sweet" shouted an onion near by, witt
a peel of laughter.