The elevator., 1888-09-08

The Boycott That Didn't works Life
Worth Living?

The Boycott That Didn't works Life
Worth Living?
The following extracts are made from the
last issue Of The Arizona Kicker;
THEY Boycorr Us.-The fact that we
have been running The Kicker pretty much
as we pleased since the first number was
issued has given mortal offense 70 certain
people in this neighborhood. We have been
kicked, licked, pounded. threatened, shot at
and blulTed right along, cnd have grown far
on il.
ave came 10 stay.
''Fact is, we've got TO. We haven't any
thing TO go ON.
Having tried all other measures to make
us let go, and having failed ingloriously in
| each instance, il was determined to boycott
/ us in social way We have been chuck.a-
! luck with the very cream Of society since our
/ advent In fact, we have been most Of the
cream
1 1T was decided few days ago BY syudi.
cate Of the high toned that We must be So
| cially snubbed aud crushed Accordingly
! Mrs Mai. Bazoo. Of Grizzly Heights, an
nounced recherche affair and invited every
| BODY in the set but us. 1t was given out that
she feared our manners would disgrace the
occasion, and If they didn't our clothes
would
1--WE weren't saying word We saw the
bluff and went one better. On the night of
the party the sheriff made haul OF three
hirh toned prisoners at the house of Maj.
Bazoo, while half dozen Others broke for the
woods We have got one great advantage
over the other creams Of society. We left tho
east by daylight and shook hands with the
sheriff as we started We are neither q
bigamist, eloper, embezzlcr, horse thief, Jail
: bird or gambler We don't want 10 work
this lever unless some one jumps ON our col
lar We have reduced tony society over half
since we came here by giving the sheriff
! pointers We can run the other half out OF
town in a week Mrs. Alaj Bazoo has called
to beg our pardon and express her deep dis
gust with herself We have forgiven her,
knowing it will not happen again. As for
Judge Cahoots, who inspired the boycott and
, set the crushing machine at work, we bear
, him no animosty. We will simply remark
that he is a bigamist. incendiary, embezzlcr,
> forger, pcrjurer and highway robber, and we
z have dispatched Pinkerton TO come and set
4 him"
/ s'Our amiable and gentlemanly sheriff en-
tered our office day before yesterday in his
| usual urbane manner and announced that he
5 n breach of promise suit against us by tho
d widow Clixby, who alleges that we have been
n towing with her heart strings, and that IL
@ will take 5000 Of our cash 70 settle her
: thoughts back in the old channel
=. ut is another move on the part Of our en-
emies to down us.
= I'VE first met the widow Clixby twenty
II eight days ago in Carriers grocery. She
d | asked our opinion of herrings and we asked
I. hers of soap. She invited us 10 call at the
y, house and see some poetry she had written
on tho rise and fall Of the nastodon We
complied. We called there three or fur
s. times afterwards, but only ms friend. On
w ono occasion the widow showed lis a clipping
le from an eastern naper TO the effect thai II
20 was better for man who had passed. the hgs
,f of y to marry widow, IL he was TO marry
=. but we didn't bite.
u, 1--WE know our gait II the widow Clixby
OF can rrove TO the world TINT we have toyet
IL with her affections we'll cheerfully go to Jail
~ We are not on the toy. The widow viii fns
IN us no lack rabbit, and the enemies who hay'
= encouraged this new move may hear some
thing drop before tho trial Is over
"wednesday evening rs VIC put on on
Mother Hubbard and sat down by the ope
window TO get breath Of air before retiring
q sadness suddenly stole over us and In q te'
.ic minutes we found tears ia our eyes. Theqner
came to us over and over again; Is Ia
10 worth livingF and as we thought OF the ol
er homestead-the days of boyhood-the man
,.a graves-the changes Of thirty years--th
- fountains of the deep were broken up and
= wept.
eh s'Such moods do n man good They brtn
nd him nearer heavens gate. We don't kno
RI whether they come from disordered liver {
n the near presence Of "A guardian angel, but Y
- always feel heap better afterwards.
10 longer feel a spirit Of revenge. We ha'
'e- no greed. We feel charity for all
ne "And as the bright beams Of the harve
M moon steal into our Office window and thro
nv n food of silver light upon the dead nds {
TO the imposing stone-as the south wind com
~ sighing around the corner af JackaSs b
and whispers 10 III tho story Of househo
on graves--as the whip-poor-wil wakes fro
)n. his sweet sleep Ia the rear Of Stevens q
il reputable dance house to call To us To PR
he ! onward and upward md be not discourn.e
.o we take down the office towl, wipe the fallil
tears away, and seek our couch With tho
'hs termination to secure a pass from heTo
cir Omaha and return Or make IL - bet for {
are railroads that they viii have n keep eve
rm tic wet ali tho year round "-Detroit FT
- Press.