The Russellville Democrat. [volume] (Russellville, Ark.) 1875-1898, 1888-11-08
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AN ARIZONA SANITARlUM.
Adventures of n Clergyman In a South
western Health Resort.

Adventures of Clergyman In a South
western Health Resort.
Some of the property owners OF
town in Arizona have been flooding
the country with enticing circulars
describing the place to be perfect
sanitarium. The circular also main
tains that the state of society is cult
ured and refined, etc, etc. Quite
number of people, mostly invalids
from the North, have visited the place,
and one of them who has returned
alive, furnishes the basis OF the fol-
lowing sketch
The visitor, Rev. /. II. Hutchison,
is somewhat of an invalid, rather
timid, and much in need of rest and
quiet. The day after his arrival at
Dookville, that being the name of tho
place, he had a conversation with the
landlord of the hotel.
"Well, stranger, how do you like
our beautiful bracin' climate?"
II find it intensely hot"
Hot! Why, the thermometer is
away down to hundred. l reckon
the reason you feel the heat so is be-
cause you don't try any of my beer on
ice. 1t only costs fifty cents bottle"
II never drink, ," replied Mr.. Hutchi-
son; "but tell me, do you have as much
dust all the year around?"
why, man alive, you don't call this
dusty, do youP If you feel the dust it
is because you don't bathe often
enough. 1t will only cost you dollar
bath, you to pay extra for the towels,
of course"
"What | need most is quiet. | came
here to avoid all excitement. Good
gracious what is that?"
The boys at the saloon across the
street are having little fun. You
had better come away from the win
dow or som Of them may shoot at
you"
"My heart palptates fearfully."
"I'll tell you what you want You
need good reliable pistol I've got a
self-cocker I'll sell you for twenty dol
lars-dirt cheap"
mo, | thank you"
Its all over now, | see them car
rying two dead men into the drug
store. We will have funerals to-mor-
row. We don't often have funerals at
this season. 1t helps spread the small
pox."
"Small-poxr
"Yes, we have it every summer, but
don't let that scare you. | can sell
you bottle OF medicine for a dollar
and a half that will make the small
pox run from you
81 am afraid | shall not like this
climate"
you win get used to the climate,
but hope you haven't got any thing to
say against the people"
20, no; that was "A very pleasant
gentleman to whom you introduced me
last night"
Like him, do you?"
Yes, he was very polite. He said
he was going to take mo out riding
some day"
"As you say, he is a gentleman. He
Is the leading undertaken. reckon
he ships more bodies North on ice than
all the rest OF the undertakers in town,
and his charges are quite low. He is
my brother-in-law.
II think" said Mr.. Hutchison.
YEARLY, that will have TO leave for
the North tomorrow. expect ! had
better retire for the night win you
have the porter awaken me at an early
hour?'
Certainly. We always charge fifty
cents extra for that! Goodnight, BY
the way ii a centipede or tarautula
should crawl into bed with you and
bite you, wake me up by pounding on
the ceiling I've got remedy for
ouly seyenty-fye cents a bottle thai
viii cure you up in fire style. Good.
night, stranger, Pleasant dreams To
you. - Teas SJtiHgs.