St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-12-02
GOOD SHORT STORIES.
All Full.

New YORK sun.
A weary man Of suburban aspect
drew himself up to a tramp yesterday
who was wedged in between the corner
of a City BALL park settee and neigh
Dor.
"Friend,' spoke the weary man,
The tramp did not eyince much inter-
est in the inquiry or any desire to negO-a
tiate."
Suppose" continued the tired-look-,
ing stranger, II was to offer you the
price of glass Of beer, what would you
II should 60 and get the glass of
beer" replied the tramp.
every we'll, here it is" said the way
farer, producing nickel. Whereupon:
the tramp took the coin, vacated the
bench, took the shortest cut to the
nearest saloon, and the weary man sank
with sigh Of relief into the empty
place.
II never saw such crowded town as
New York in my life," he remarked to,
the neighbour. And being in an affable
mood he did not notice that that person
paid no attention to his observation,
but continued: II came to New York
last Saturday, and / declare I've been
on my feet and crowded out ever since.
1t began on the ferryb0at. | had to
stand up all the way across the river.
Then got on the elevated. No seats.
hung on by a strap to my station. Then
| went to hotel. Full. Went to an
other. Full. At last | got an inside
eleventh-story room. Thinks I, after
dinner 'I'll have little fun SO went
to a neighboring theater. Standing
room only was stuck Oh the sidewalk.
l went to another. Seats all Sold SAID
the man in the box Office.
"Well, / was disguised. | turned
away, thinking I'd go to bed, when l
remembered there was political meet
ing near by. So off | went to that. but
] could only get half way up the stairs
to the hall, it was such a jam. l bal
| anced on the staircase few moments,
and then left and went across the street
| to big beer garden. But the walters
were flying around so fast they wouldn't
look at me, and so [ soon got out Of that
as thirsty as when l went in. | spent
the rest of the evening waiting for a
turn to get my Sunday shave.
"When Sunday came, Now thinks
|. 'l'1l hear some of this famous preach
ing and music they tell Of so got an
address and poked Off to church. Well,
by thunder, the same old crowd! Hun
dreds Of people standing in the aiSles
and around the doors, and nobody to be
seated till the service was we'll a-going.
l couldn't bear that, SO off | went to an
other swell church; but there was the
same crowd again, which satisfied me
as to church worship for one day.
Well, then, Monday / went shopping
| to get some notions my wife wanted me
to buy for her. And such crowd as
got into! The place was a mob, only
the people in the thickest of it were
shouting 'Cash' instead of Murder 1t
took me pretty much all the afternoon to
find the right counters and get waited
| on. Then had to wait for the dentist
and the chropodist. and, by lingo, a
pancake man, who was selling cakes on
the curbstone, he made there: and so on
everywhere and forever, crowded, full,
everywhere. 1t was just the same here,
you see, all the seats full. You saw l
absolutely had to buy one"
Just then the neighbor. who had
shown no interest in the grumbling mar
rative. made limp lurch, which threw
him heavily upon the speakers shoulder
and almost into his lap.
The weary man started and looked at
the limp and booty neighbor in disgust.
''By thunder, he's full, tool" he ex-
claimed, and he got up and left town;
When last seen he was standing up ON
crowded ferry boat, valise in hand,
with very disseminated expression OF
cOuntenance.