The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-02-11

II H m. lMGm DOTS sMOklnE, rNAutuE tho papers, Jack Hemise and Harry Condell playing at poker} (Easer SAakespeure,l Shakespeare-"Waiter w
 Waiter--"Yessir cominsir
 Shakespeare-"Steak and onions, underdone. Bottle of bass ani Welsh rabbit to follow-and quick, please, for my last bus goes at I 45." Waiter-"Yessir."
 Lord Bacon Gin easy chair, smoking long clay)-"Hullo, Billyl Why, I haven't seen you for weeks; where have you been2"
 Shakcspeare-"rve had pantomime engagement in the provinces. Any thing doing in town?"
 Bacon-"No; business has been very quisky, so the fellows here tell mo, and London wants new play"
 Shakcspeare-"l've got rattling good idea for one, but can't tackle it by myself. Pm all right for comedy. but when 1t comes to blank verse and tragedy, l have got to take back seat"
 Bacon-"What is your idea2" w Vlts At HiCStUl AlI I've got is a big comedy scene in a graveyard"
 Bacon-"Rum place for a comedy scene isn't it?"
 Shakespcare-"Well, must have il there, because l want to bring in comic grave-digger met in n church. yard the other day-quite character. took down some of his wheczcs. and l want a play written mp to them. Have you got any ideas for tragedy?"
 Bacon-"Wouldn't comedy suit your grave digger better?"
 Shakespeare-"No; because must give him q body to score of; and you can't have corpse in comedy" Bacon-"l've tragedy completely mapped out. It's founded on an old Danish story"
 Shakespeare-"WiH you Dane to tell me the plot2"
 Bacon "Danel Oh, Win, Will;I what n wretched habit that Is of yours! I've never forgiven you writ ing six pages into my last play to lead up to a wretchcd pun"
 Shakespeare-"I only made the Ba- con look little streaky. Come, your plot, my Francis-your plot"
 Bacon-"The hcro's a young prince whose mother has married his uncle"
 Shakespeare-"Thcn his mother is his aunt"
 Bacon--"The uncle murdered his brother to marry the queen, and the young prince learns the secret from his fathers ghost"
 Shakespearc-"Ah, see the aunt K to bc 'aunted"
 Bacon-"This young fellow, Ham, let, vows vengeance. He is In love with the lord chamberlain's daughter, Ophelia."
 Shakespearc-"Wait minute. l heard some jolly good female comic songs at a music hall while I was on tour. We might give one or two of them to Ophelia." Bacon-"But, my dear Bill, she's perfect lady she wouldn't sing comic songs."
 Shakespeare--"Oh, we'll get over that! Give her mad scene A per feet lady off her nut will say and do anything"
 Bacon-"What wonderful resource you have, William"
 Shakespeare-"Allez, mon ami, al- leg :"
 Bacon-"Hamlet gets up play, and the play represents the murder. He invites the king and queen to sec it."
 Shakespeare-"Bravo! I see good scene"
 Bacon-"After the play, his mother sends for him and lectures him, and the Lord Chamberlain listens behind the arras, and Hamlet runs him through"
 Shakespeare-"sarve him right" '"
 Bacon-"HAmlet after that goes out"
 Shakespeare-"No, old man, l can't have that. want the mad scene for 1 Ophelia-"
 Bacon-"Surely hamlet Is"
 Shakespeare-"Neve mind. You can suggest his madness, but Ophelia must be right down stark staring"
 Bacon-"Isut why"
 Sbakespeare-"Why? Because it's my only chance to get in those comic l songs."
 Bacon-"But what of Hamlet!"
 Shakespeare-"Oh, give him a fight ing scene! That always goes"
 Bacon-"With whom?S
 Shakespeare -" "Give Ophelia g brother, and let Hamlet light him"
 BacoB-"AIl right. And how can we wind up?"
 Shakespeare-"Oh, settle everybody 1 of at the finish! Put something in | their drink, and leave Hamlet to speak the tag over a pile of corpses. That's always the best thing for the Last act