New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-07-22
GOSSIP AT THE CAPITAL.
MIDSUMMER HUMOR OF CONGRESSIONAL
LIFE.
TOO EARLY TO NOMINATE JEFF WHY SENATOR
CULLoMs FRIEND ABANDONED THE LAW
sTrpurSs,s SrrcURop-" NED AND TOM"

IOO To NOMlNAlE "HA
CULLoM's FRIEND ABANDONED THE LAW
/ sTEPHENs's NEIGHBoR-" NED AND TOM
Washington, July 2I.-Thcre is richness In some
of the methods by means OF which the Rebel Brgadiers
evince their fondness for free ballot and fa'r
count.' Tho approach of Presidential eIectioh
gives added interest 10 the peculiarly local ha'or
OF such Incidents. l am Informed that In certain
Congressional District In Alabama, which has largo
colored Republican majority, the principal polling
place is located in I" a soah, Sah!' where pihc-top
whiskey and other local delcaces are dispensed as Is
indeed, generally the custom in many portions OF the
South. In this stoahn of those CLOCKS
manufactured mostly for the Southern trade-the diai
OF which is inserted in the stomach of an Image which
represents jovIallookIng colored man. This ebony
representative of Old Father limo was famlllaHy
known TO all the inmates of the store as " Tom
At a recent Congressional election, they tell me,
this store was usual, selected for polling place
One of the judges of election had with him large and
intelligent pointer dog, called Ned" who used to
practise many playful tricks Off the amusement OF his
masters friends To vary the monctcny of tho occa-
sion It appears, the festive Southern chyalry whose
duty 1t TO preside the sacred mysteries In
the interest of far count stuck Democratic bal
lots solemny upon the hands of "Tom,' the clock;
and having taught him" the trick gave others TO the
pointer Ned who took them in his teeth and Jump
ing up with his fore paws the windowsll, put his
head inside and dropped tho ballots defty upon the
kept up 1t appears for several hours, amid much con-
tinuous and hearty mcrrimcnt.
1t made but little difference that the Democratic
majority afterward reported was some $500 greater
than the total number Of voters I'm the precinct, for
the successful" candidate duly sent to Congress ;
the peculiar style of voting Tom and Ned being
of course, with the praiscworthy object of enabling
witnesses to testify, necessary, bcfoe Congressional
Committee that they the voters present them
selves with tho ballots in their possession and deposit
them for the Democratic candidate have not had
the requisite leisure to follow this Congress mans
here, but It may be safely predicted that no
Representative was ever before sent to Washington by
such dumb constituency although its ability to
appreciate thoroughly the wisdom Of the free-trade
policy which his colleagues from the South seek to
foist upon loyal North and West may reasonably be
doubted
Adlai F.. Stevenson, the Assistant Postmaster
General, who can sever the official head from the
official shoulders OF fourth-cass postmaster who Is
Republican offensive PARTISAN with such grace and
dexcrity that the victim feels almost grateful, has a
fund of stories which seems to DO inexhaustblc He
is Kcntuckan by birth, and is acquainted with many
hundred people of all classes and conditions who
migrated from Kentucky and Tennessee and settled
In his adopted state, Illinois. In group of friends
one evening, not long ago. he heard " Jed' Davis's
name mentioned, and said:
THAT reminds me Of n funny incident. I was down
in Egypt Southern Illinois is called, years ago
on business think It was in 1s72-at any rate 1t
a Presidential year and was considerably IN
tcrcstcd in promoting a boom for Judge David
Davis, who was known to have Presidential aspira-
lions. Well, day long, lank cadayerous,
tobaccochewlng citizen who was born and reared In
Western Tennessee came into my ROOM lie had
fought in the Confederate Army and was true Dem
ocrat, and wthal Of considerable influence in
his nclghborhood
"'Howdyr he asked.
"'Howdy? p replied.
"Aftcr We had converted for some time in this
strain, he asked
elbows politics Whom are you all going to
nominate for PTcsidentr
"'Well, think we'll nominate Davis replied
1.-THE old mans face frightened at first and then
shade of anxiety passed II. lie did not speak
for several moments, and then he slowly said
".Wall, If you all nominate Davis Will give him
the usual Democratic majority down in our pIc-sink
Then the shade of anxiety grew deeper and lean
ing ard placing his hand on my knee and his
mouth to my he whispered:
"'But, 1 say, Adlai, don't you think it's leetlc
too to nominate Old Jcff!"
The advertisement which follows--cut from the
columns Of The Evening Starr OF this city-may be
accepted a sample brck' from the stately cplhcc
of Civil Service Reform erected by the present Dom
csOH CASH AND 10 PER CENT OF SALARY as
CoO long as retained for Government position not
month"; u Xddress s c6NfIDENcE Star Once
a number Of similar advertisements have appeared
from time time in the local newspapers for the past
few years. Indeed am In position to affirm most
positively that positions In the Executive Depart
ments in this city have long been sold during the
term of President Cleveland, as IS indicated in the
advertisement of "Confdence' A certain high
receives, l am told, almost openly at his DESK tho
monthly stpends paid in by the bcnenciarles of this
shameless barter and sale, conducted under Civil
Service Rules"
"Thc Faithful who thus come up to the captains
Office deposit the money before him, sometimes in
greenbacks, but frequently in those large and shining
silver dollars which bear stamped upon them the fair
Greek features Of a cOmcy Philadelphia ." school
marm' Tho good Bishop Obcrly need not seek
far or long find the somewhat commercial indvid-
ual referred to, who Is, learn personally known to
him and II he should not hunt that Pharisce up him
self why the chances that Senator Halo's Com
mlttcc Will before 1t finishes Its labors
In a group Of Congressman several days ago the
conveis ation turned Mayor Hewit's declaration
In favor Of making alien subject to probation of
fourteen years before his admission to the privileges
Of American citizenship After good deal had been
said in favor Of and against Mr. Hcwitts proposition
Butterworth, OF Ohio usual, was reminded OF a
little story" He said
"Judgo Sage believed in strict as well as I'm
partial administration Of his office and he finally
became disguised with the perfunctory manner I'm
which aliens were clothed with the privileges OF
American citizenship, and announced that he would
grant no certificate OF naturalization TO man who
could not read or had not read the Constitution Of
the United States. Now Judge Sage had In his service
"a bright keen Irlshman Patrick Riley by name, and
one day when he was on the bench Patrick entered
with a friend and stood twirlng his hat with his
fingers.
"'Well, Patrick said the Judge, what is IT?
Can do anything for your
"sWell, yer Honor, It's me friend Moike DOolan,
yer Honor who wants TO be naturazed,' replied Pat.
ado you know him Is he man of good character
who Will make a good ctzenP
ooh yls, yer Honor, know him Intimately and