Morning journal and courier., 1888-03-26
PUT Up.

Beef-canning is put-up job.-Goodall's IS
Sun.
Was Othello prophesying concerning the
Depew boom for the presidency when he
spoke of 'smost disastrous, Chauncey's?'-
Texas Siftings.
Schultz 6: What makes you look SO blue,
Miller ?' Miller (sighing): 81 was just
thinking that in nine months and few days
1888 will have passed into oblivion. Texas
Siftings.
De Smith-'I declare Here is Mrs.
is out in the hall yeti" Travis" Of course
she is working one of those new vestibule
trains. Huntington Free Press.
If Col Ingersoll had been snow bound in
New Jersey, and charged by a native one dol
lar for pie, his belief that there is no future
punishment would have suddenly undergone
a radical change. ge.-Norristown Herald.
ssWhat's the matter, Browne Everything's
going wrong. 1 tell you, old fellow, I feel
like taking poison and committing suicide. u
"Oh, come, come. Don't do anything like
that. Here, take another cigarette. .''-Mer-
chant Traveller.
the fun they please at the Congressional Rec
ord, but there is one thing about it that ]
like" Joe-"And what is thata" Eli
''There are no patent medicine advertise
ments in it."-Detroit Free Press.
Mother-"Nhat has become Of Charliea
haven't seen him once this morning" Daugh.
ter-He is in Uncle Johns room. Uncle
John is taking Charles photograph by the
instantaneous process, and that always takes
him three or four hours. Texas Siftings.
Featherly Ito Dumley, who has just given q
cigar to him) "Why do you (puff) call this
the (puff) prize cigar, Dumley?" Dumley-
81 understand that is the name of the brand u
Featherly-'I thought it might be puff be-
cause they are so hard to draw."-Harper's
Bazaar.
Little Mabel was sitting next to very
small, thin man in the horse car. She leaned
over to her mother and whispered :: " Nam
ma, guess God must have made that man
on rainy day." "What makes you think
80, dear g' "'Cause he doesn't look as il
there was much dust handy."-Merchan
Traveller.
A loyal subject in Havana has sent the baby
King of Spain present of box of ten thou
sand of the finest cigars. If his majesty will
eonfine his use of tobacco to these and limit
himself strictly to ten day he need not con
tract the modern pernicious habit of smoking
cigarettes until he is nearly five years old
Babyhood.
More Interesting Matter.-Subscriber Ito
editor)-''I don't see anything in your paper
to-day about the heroic act of Smith, who
saved ths life of Brown at the risk of his
own" Editor-'No; it'was crewded out to
make room for an account of the cowardly
manner in which Jones took the life of Rob-
inson. Life.
The Boston Evening Record advertises Ber-
muda onions as ga delicacy on the market. u
A lamented ignorance of tho customs and
tastes that prevails in Boston prevents us
from stating with any degree of positiveness
that by the highest culture of that city chic
ride of lime is reckoned as a condiment.-
Chicago Morning News.
Late Spring. Spilkips-'I believe the
backbone of winter is broken" Jones'
''I'm sorry to hear it." "Why, l thought
vou liked warm weather" $50 1 do; but if
winters backbon is broken its physical con-
dition will prevent it getting away very rap
idIv, and we will therefore have a late
spring Texas Siftings.