Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1888-05-26
NO. 1875


in the morning." Neither do we-because
we never have one.-Burlington Free Press,
An Omaha clergyman has been preaching
IN favor of Sunday base ball playing. He
has made hit of course, and the Chris
t1an community think it is base hit.-Bos-
ton Post.
An authority says bananas will build
man up quicker than wheaton bread. They
will bring man down quicker, too, if they
are left around loose on the sidewalk. Nor
ristown Herald.
Taking the Ten4perature-She lat the
races )-''What's the trouble on the iudpes'
stand, Georges' He-'There is some DISPUTE
over the last heat She-"A Aren't their
Thermometers all alike, George?"-Texas
Siftings.
An advertisement tells chow to keep the
scalp Clean" Another good way is to 90
West on an Indian determination expedition
The latter method is little more heroic and
painful, but it can be warranted every time.
Beware of counterfeits. s.-Norristown Herald.
The bill before the legislature which COM
pels marriage intentions to be published in
the newspapers q week beforehand might
very properly be entitled ga bill for the
amelioration of the clergy of the neighbor-
ing States and of the misunderstanding there
to."-Boston Transcript
three-days'-old baby in Arkansas cried
out, "Where am I?'' This is the remark
generally made by the heroine on the stage
when she recovers from the fainting fit into
which the "heavy villainn has thrown
her. If three-days-old baby can't be orig
inal it had better keep its mouth shut until It
learns something. ng.-Norristown Herald.
When Profession K--reached the rostrum
for prayers, he found his watch about two
minutes slower, and himself as much later
than he expected. Looking at his watch he
exclaimed: "I shall have no faith in my
watch after thisp' 'sIt is not faith but works
you need" was the quick response of Profess
sor J--.-Editor's Drawer in Harper's
Magazine for Jane.,s5 .. =fe-
Chang the luckin exclaimed the foreman,
as he was busily at work making up the pa
per: "I've pied the whole galley of this
leading editorial on the Chinese question and
in five minutes it will be time to go to press.
What in blazes am going to do?'' ''That's
all right" said the editor easily "Pick it up
as well as you can and run it in as new dia-
lect story by rising young southern author
It's sure TO make tremendous it"-Som-
erville Journal.
His majesty excepted - The celebrated
court preacher, Kober, cnce preached very
powerful sermon against intemperance. The
Grand Duke of Saxony, whose nose looked
like Chinese lantern, happened to be pres
ent, and he naturally regarded the remarks
as referring to himself; consequently he look
ed very severely at the eloquent court preach
er, who, catching the Grand Dueal eye, modi-
fed his remarks by saying: drunkenness is
undoubtedly great and heinous sin, against
which every true Christian should be warn
ed, excepting, of course, our beloved Grand
Duke, whom God preserve to US for many
years yet."-From the German, in Texas Sift-
ings.
A tramp went into a rich mans yard
Where all seemed free from strife.
The dog relieved him of all his clothes,
And he barely escaped with his life.
-Yonkers Statesman.