The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1888-02-15
A CONSTITUENTS GRIEVANCE.
A Wisconsin Man Files His Complaint Agains
Senator SpoOners

AWiscOnsin Man Files His Complaint Against
Senator Spooners
washin gton Special
About the best thing in the way OF q take-off
is letter of a constituents 90 Senator Spooner.
The name OF the writer is not given, but it could
have been written by other than George w.
Peck, of Peck's Milwaukee SUM- 1t is mighty
good and humorous. and reads as follows:
Ny Dear John-You and have always been
friends since first became acquainted.
have tried to be a good friend to you You re-
member when you were first mentioned for Sem
ator, some paper published up north said You
''alumnus" of the State University, and
that defended you against the charge of being
"alumnus" to the best OF my ability. / said
had known you for years and had never known
you do anything that could cause any to
call you such names, and offered to whip the
man who called you an 'alumnus.' 1 mention
this to call your attention to the fact that
have always stood by you I have not I
sure merited any any such troa Saa
! alluGe TO the habit you have of sending
public documents. suppose, really. your
private secretary is 10 blame but want you to
do me the favor to kill him. You remember
that you told me that could draw you
at any time for any favor. Now. ask you to
kill this man. The first year that you were
Senator, read everything you sent me- The
first thing that came was a census report, and
read that through from Genesis TO Revelations,
sitting up nights when ought to have been in
bed thought was showing my loyalty to
you. AID got so could repeat page after page
of those figures with one hand tied behind me.
Before had got to where the hero marries the
girl In the census report, you sent me the report
of the Public Printer. and put in my evenings
for weeks on that, and then the Patent Office
the Agricultural Bureau. with occa-
sIonal department. reports / was
my last lap and read all OF those reports except
about cord and half. when began to receive
small documents from you in envelopes, and
thought what nice time / would have reading
them; but to-day opened some of them and I
hope to die If they are not speeches the tariff.
j Go not wish to complain, but honestly. John,
don't you think that is spreading it rather
thick3 No man tries harder than l do and no
man sticks by friend longer than do, and it
does seem to me there ought to be some way in
which l show my loyalty to You without
reading those tariff speeches Once / was young
and full OF vinegar and could read old back
number speeches of statesmen and enjoy them,
but late years, since my hair has departed and
rheumatism and neuralgia have taken its place,
j have to read something light, or don't Sleep
send me some more statistics. with plenty of
figures in, for can glance over a page of them
and sort of jump accounts and average it up.
but these speeches are going to break me down.
The last speech you sent was Senator
Sherman's TO Bogganslide the tariff. If
Sherman got you to send 1t to me wish you
would see him and explain to him that while
would do anything In reason for You. he must
excuse me from reading it. I don't want TO
hurt his feelings or yours, and don't want to
break the friendship that has existed so long be-
tween you and me, but, by the Eternal, John.
won't read that tariff speech. You may think I
nave grown colo ana naughty, but how would
you feel If you had to read those speeches just
90 oblige friendl If there is anything that
can do for you that is reasonable, call me.
Only the other day I was talking about you to a
Republican,. and he said he guessed he. would
have to 60 back on you the next time you were
mp for Senator, because you hadnt sent him
any documents gave him a lot of those you
had sent to me, and told him you sent them to
him in my care, and he is all solid for you now.
though had to lie. will lie for you. John,
do anything that does not wear and tear
of brain, but you must let me off on those tariff
speeches.
P. S.-Say. John. there is a party of us COM
ing down to Washington pretty soon lobbying
for the postofice appropriation. l have told
them we could 60 right to your house. Is that
all riehtl You could make us up lot of beds
on the floor in the parlor. have told them I
knew you so we'll that it would be all right, to
go right to the house any time of night. Leave
the key under the door-mat and chain up the
dog. By the way, 1T isn't just the thing to sug-
gest, but you ought to have few cases of bot
tied beer where we sleep. not for publication,
but as evidence of good faith. And don't
fail to have Milwaukee beer, as we little
sensitive Well. goodbye Don't forget to see