The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1888-02-29
Pith and Point.

NOTHING so wildly reminds us of the
brevity of life as a thirty-day note.-DrW
THE most trying position truthful clergy.
man can be in is to be preaching the funeral
service of man who died rich and mean
Picdyitne.
THE man who fails to advertise in dull
times is on a par with the fellow who re-
fuses to eat because his stomach is empty
Anniston (1ld.) Hot Blast.
A GREAT many inventions are being made
to kill people easily, but what is worse
wanted is something that will enable us all
to live easily.-BaHimore american.
Mr.. BARNUM says it costs, on an average,
S1.a day to keep an elephant. 1t would
seem, therefore, more economical to keep
the animal than to see him occasionally.
IT is nonsense to assert that the Italians
do not readily become Americanized. The
president of an Italian savings bank in New
York has decamped with $50, 000.-Omdhd
World.
JULIAN HAwTHoRNE's new story is called
The Fatal Letter" 1t is supposed she dis
covered it in her husbands coat pocket six
weeks after she had placed it in his hands
to mail.-NorristolCn Herald.
IT is stated that Noah Webster first con-
Ceived the idea of his dictionary while on a
visit to Boston. He heard so many big
words there which he did not understand
that he felt the need of one.-Epoch.
WHEN Webster county (Ga) man mar
ried he was unable to present his wife with
an engagement ring, and in lieu thereof
gave her yearling heifer. This offering
grew and multiplied, and the result is a
small herd of cattle.
ODD you ever go tobogganing, Mr..
Winterwheat?" No." said the old man,
"but 1 once stepped into the elevator well
and fell down four stories in three-tenths of
a second. That is fast enough for me; I'm
getting too old for much excitement.
ONE day Ernest had been seriously lee
tured by his mother and finally was sent
to the yard to find switch, with which he
was to be punished. He returned soon and
said: 81 couldn't find any switch, mamma,
but here's stone you can throw at me-"
In the cleaning: He, with emotion,
Now, dearest, that you have accepted my
proposal let us seal it with a kiss" She,
in a business tone, What's the use? Your
bid has been accepted and there's no need
of sealed proposals. - Washington Critic.
A KANSAS CITY woman saw Booth and
Barrett play "Othello" in that city and
was asked which actor. pleased her most.
deliberaton, az liked one bout as well as
the other. They are both just as cunnin' as
they could bel"
A SWAPPING SHOALS (Ga) colored preacher
a few Sundays ago from the pulpit solemnly
read: " l was once young; l is now old. L
NAB neDer seen tne righteous 1OrSaKen nor
his seed begging OBJ bread. But" he said,
laying the book down and raising his specs,
1--WE seen them hustle like the debble for
meat"
WIFE (three A. NJ, fifteen below: James,
dost hear the cat?" " dost." She
meweth." " Let her new. 1t amuseth me"
whilst thou not arise and cast her thither?''
Not a whist" Then tomorrow / arise
and go unto my mother, saying unto her:
Mother, here / am, and here l will re-
main" Shore response.-Ne'c York Jour
nal.
YES" said the editor as he put the mu-
cilage-brush into the ink-bottle and tried to
paste on a clipping with his stub pen, eyes,
the great fault with contributors is care
lessness. Indeed he continued, as he
dropped the copy he had been writing into
the waste basket and marked " editorial y
across the corner of poem entitled an
" ode to Death" " contributors are terribly
careless. You would be surprised" said
he, as he clipped column of fashion items
and labeled them Farm Notes - " to see
the slipshod writing that comes into the
editorial sanctum Misspelled, unpunctu
ated, written on both sides of the sheet il
legible, ungrammatical stuff. Contributors
are terribly careless They are" just then
the office boy came in and in that dictatoria
manner he had demanded more copy, and
the editor handed him the love letter he had
just written his girl and, as he had for
gotten what he was talking about, went or
with his work.-Ydnkee Blade.