The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1888-07-19

NEW SPIRIT.-Is this the gate to
heaven?
St. Peter-Yes. l will look up your
account. What were you In the world :?
New Spirit-My name is Blank, and 7
was a prominent business man, having
interests in many parts of the country.
St. Peter-Well, Mr.. Blank, you have
come to the wrong place. see that you
are charged with being q nonopclist,
with expressing the poor, and with being
interested III those wicked trusts.
New Spirit (hesitatingly)-Doesn't fee
le-mindedness make a good excuse that
will let me in?
st. Peter (suspiciously)-What evi-
dence have that you were feeble-minded?
L was stockholder in the Kelley mo-
tor?
St. Peter-Step right inside Wood
Smith is the only Democrat in his
office, and he has to stand good deal
from Brown, Jones and Robinson, who
are his office chums, all Republicans. al
tell you, Smith," said Brown the other
day, ",he Democratic party is dirt
eating party" 'Bet your life" said
Smith, serenely; ait swallowed the Re-
publican party last election. .n-Detroit
Free Press.
At Bar Harbor He" Why, il is
growing quite dark. You can hardly
distinguish the people at the hotel" She
-'And rather cool, too. | ought to
have something around me-" He with
a familiar movement of the ARM
"That's so."-Life
- Pulmonary Affections. Brown
lou don't look well lately, Robinson"
Robinson" l can't sleep at night
on account of lung trouble" Brown
Nonsense your lungs are all right :"
Robinson" Yes, mine are; the trouble
is with the baby's."-LJe.
Little Girl Ito lady GALLERY" Sis
ter's awful sorry, but she can't see you
to-day" Lady (compassiona:ely)5"I
am very sorry, Mabel. l hope she is not
ill?" Little Girl" Oh, no; she's get
ting engaged. ."-Hdrper's Young People.
Says a mother: "One day / found
Alice, little black eyed beauty, sitting
astrlde my bedpost gazing with delight at
her image in the mirror. asked her why
she looked in the glass. She frankly
said "'Cause like the looks of me-"
Husband (despondently). Things
look tough my dear. But the world
owes me living" Wife Gmpatientlyl.
Well, for heavens sake, John, brace up
and collect it r'-Ne,o York San.
-".Do you vote for Cleveland or Har-
rison ?"
81 probably shan't live to vote"
".That's so. Sick 90
"No; I'm baseball umpire. ~. y
Sun.
MIR. Talmsge is of opinion that wo-
man should be allowed to whistle If she
wants to. Very good but suppose she
be disposed to wet that whistle There's
the rub.-Boston Transcript.
The report that DeLesseps was dead
of bowel complaint proved to be untrue.
His alimentary canal is all right Is is
the Panama canal that has compla;nts.-
San Francisco Alta.
Madam, said q tramp, l am hungry
enough to eat q raw dog. Well, she re-
sponded kindly suiting the action to the
word, I'll whistle some up for you The
tramp left, taking his appetite with him.
Anc niioucipuio xMtSS puts the
whole question in . nutshell, when il SAYS
that Labor must be protected against
~ cents in taxes for every dollar earned
in wages"
-Harper's Weekly sums up the Chi
cago platform In this terse and pertinent
phrase: If you don't see what you
want, ask for it."
-Boutelle is rather conspicuous Kind
Of q name for man who inserts temper
ance plank in . party platform Wash
sngton Critic.
Little Mo-" Fadder, how do you
do it to get rich quick Big Mo.-"VeII
my son, honesty was the siowest way.
Ioson Topics.
If it takes Republican Convention
seven days TO nominate . candidate, how
many years will it take to elect him p
Boston Post.
The Republican National platform
acknowledgements. morality and
free whiskey.