News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1888-03-01
A DIFFERENCE.

their letters.
A DIFFERENCE.
Friend Ito plaintiff) We'll, I see you
won your suit. I congratulate you.
Plaintiff-Thanks. Yes, I beat the
scoundrel.
Same friend Ito defendant)- I'm sorry
to hear you lost your suit, old man.
Defendant-Yes the scoundrel beat
me.-Epoch.
AN ARIZONA sEANCE.
Omaha Man-Went to q spiritual
seance down in Arizona, eh? Anything
happen
Arizona Maxwell, yes. The me
dunn went into traIese and then an
nounced that he was a spirit of man
who had been murdered, and that the
murderer was in the audience.
"Well, well Did anybody run Z"
r eve all ran. Onldhd World.
SWITCH.
A serious accident occurred in an up
town house the other night by mis-
placed switch. The owners husband
stepped upon it and ran hairpin into
his foot to the depth of an inch.-Nor-
T5StOlon Herald.
SHE FORGOT.
There is a charitable institution in
Boston-we will say Boston-and each
day one lady has to take charge of a
public department of it. One young
lady had selected Wednesday as her
day, and the first week she was to COM
mence her round of duties another lady
received from the President little note:
'Dear Mrs. -: Can you take charge
on Wednesday, 1t was arranged that
Miss - was to be here, but she forgot
that it was the day she was to be mar
cisco Chronicle.
GOOD ENOUGH.
An Irishman was standing in the door
of his little cabin. A pig was playing
inside with his children. A gentleman
passing said to him: "My good fellow,
why do you allow that pig in your
house2"
"Hasn't the house every accommoda-
ton that o reasonable pig could re-
UP IN GRAMMAR.
Pretty School Teacher-James, is Ito
kiss" all active or passive verb?
James oldest boy in the class)-Both.
Pretty School Teacher-How is that,
james,
James--Activc on the part of the fell
Ter and passive on the part of the girl.
Pretty school teacher bushes and
marks James "perfect lin grammar
". Y. San.
LUCKY DOG.
''Papa," said beautiful girl, 81
found several cigars scattered about the
front yard this morning. Did you drop
them2"
"No, they don't belong to me-" re-
sponded the old man. ''Shortly after
young Sampson left you last night I
thought I heard a noise outside. and I
him for the cigars. Evidently
the dog won"
THE DILEMMA.
" 'I'is winter, my daughter, the Goals going
really can't tell where it goes to;
The period for triiing it seems to mes
You could marry next week if you chose to;
And this is leap year, dear, and youth cannot
last,
An offer make one of your beaux to,''
'Oh, pa! Iye SO many" the maid cried
'aghast,
i cannot tell which to propose to-"
Boston Courier
RECKLESS.
Mrs. Eastyn Ito her dearest friendJ-
Yes, Aurelia, my husband proposed to
me three times before l accepted him.
The d. F.-You always were reck-
less girl, Josephine. Puck.
HIS SUPPORT.
"That man over yonder is leading
support for Nine. Mysteries, tho
brngedienne," said the oracle to
friend.
"You mistake, Think was the re-
ply. "She supports him.
''Pshaw! He's not the STAR
'tOh, no; he's the husband"
REMARKABLE IF TRUE.
Mr.: De Sappy-Ya-as, time works
Why, when I was born I WAS
5he youngest in my family, and now
here are faw bwothers, all younger than
myself.
Admiring Crowd--Isn't it extraordi-
ary-LJe.
A DIRECTOR.
can what is your Jamie doin' these
lays, Mrs. O'Toole2''
"Jamie's doin foine he's director
1t the Opery House, and wears a swally
tail coat.
"What does a director do2"
"Shure he directs the people to their
seats |"
WHY SHE SAT DOWN.
This morning young lady was pass
ng a residence on whose steps was n
young man and in front of which was q
log. In flash her foot went out from
lnder her and she went down on the
cy walk. The dog in playful mood |
,ushed to her assistance, while the
young man, not at all embarrassed,
asked
"Did you fall !''
"Well [ should think 1 had," said |
the young lady, rising and rearranging
ler head gear.
"Yes,' responded the youth 81
thought it must be funny if you sat
lown to play with the dog"