Charlotte messenger. [volume] (Charlotte, Mecklenburg Co., N.C.) 1882-18??, 1888-07-14
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

dum, sweet num-Ine DeenlVe.
Loud shoes-Those that squeak badly.
News of the weak-The hospital re-
ports.
The latest thing Generally your
match.
The home stretch-A nap on the
lounge.
Two for a scent-A pair of blood
hounds.
The shades ofnight are not fast coIors.
The morning light fades them. Dams
oSlle Breeze.
When the young writer reads the re-
views of his first work he often finds it
is guyed book instead of novel -Ths
Journalist.
Luxuriant verdure decks the plains,
The clover sweet the sunshine fosters,
And now the browsing goat disdains
Tomato cans and circus posters.
Boston Courier.
Gentleman" If you will get my coat
done by Saturday | shall be forever in
debted to you.n Taior-"Oh, if that's
your game, it won't be done. y Siittings.
Down on the seashore single wave
from a, pretty woman's handkerchief will
attract more attention than all the waves
of old ocean put together. = Zeras Syt-
in0s.
The porcupine is probably the best in
formed of ali the animals He can give
you more points than you will know
what to do with in week. Burlington
Free Press.
Beneath a ripe persimmon-tree
Two learned lawyers CHANGED to be.
Climb" said the first; I'll catch-you tosst
'em;"
But t'other shook his head: "Non possunaT"
"And SC the ice cream season is again
upon US, George, she said shyly. YES"
he responded. 81 never pick up paperl
now that do not expect to find some
awful case of poisoning "-THe Epoch.
Etiquette-vIt is correct to address the
Lords of the Admiralty collectively as
"My Lords" but it would be equally
appropriate to add: 81 hope your War
ships are getting along satisfactorily" >
Punch.
The breezes fit soft on the prairie.
Tho steamers ply free on the main,
Maud swings on the gate like fairy,
And summers come back once again. !.
Duluth Photographer
Hotel clerks are popularly supposed
to own the biggest diamonds in the
country, but this is not so. Baseball
diamonds are the biggest things just
now in the public Rochester Post
Express.
A Pennsylvania man who had a land
slide of about million tons come down
on his COW pasture, posted the following
sign on the debris: "A new lot just re-
cclved. For sale cheap. ."-BurlingtOn
Fires Press.
Sir More1l Mackenzie's work on ftThe
Voice" is a standard authority, and yet
| the distinguished physician failed to
note one Important fact, which is that
the voice cheers, but does not inebriate.
-New Y0rk Sun.
"a rose by any other name would smell as
A maxim quickened by shakespeares
touch,
Alas, that Shakespeare did not tell us il
Arcse Dy any other name would cost az
muchl ]
! "Dfess," said Smith, with all the
force of an original idea, g does not
make man. "No," replied Jones,
gloomiIy, as he fingered his wife's dress.
makers bill he had Just received, but
it often breaks man. ."-Neao Yosk NeUs.
\ The man who has brand-new type
, writer and leisure, and lots of linen
wove manuscript paper, cannot help
feeling thit he has it in his power to
make big literary reputation for him
self, if he can only think of something
to say.-Meao YorE Ners.
There was a young man in Cuba
Who was learning to play tuba,
/, When the frail alto horn
footed loudly in scorn,
And provoked rebellion in Cuba. =
--ChicaJo NetDs
"He's no better, doctor. You told
me to give him as much of the powder
as would lay on sixpence. hadn't six
pence, but l gave him as much as would
lie on five pennies and two half-pennies,
and it's done him no good at all, at all.
San FyGHcsci0 Aelos-L Litter.
Behold him man once exalted in station,
OF friends and of future bereft
A few simple words solve tine whole situa-
ton;
He monkeyed with stocks and got left
81 see," said Mr. Ringfnger. Of Phila-
delphia. ''that the tachyglosus hystrix
at the Zoo is dead. That is severe
/ loss.n "Oh, well. returned Mrs Ring
finger, ''the Zoo is rich. They can send
round to John WanamaKer's and get an
other hain't got no symp'thy for them
| folks. "-Neo York Sun.
Il ne'er will we'd man. said she,
"rve only known month or two
4 Not till Pve had tie change 70 see
| Hischaracter clear through and through"
Her suitor smiled; then answered he
The maiden fair in tunes urbane:-
tYou surely ought to see through me,
Since in my breast you've put in PAIN
Boston Courier.
Miss Bcva A. Lockwood. in letter
| to the New York Sun on the definition
of man, says. MAN Il comprehensive
term, embracing woman" We may not
enthusiastically coincide with Belva on
all political points. but when it comes to
dictionary definitions we are with her
body snd soul. - Warrington Critic.
A Culinary ARRAY.