davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08
An Important Announcement


About six weeks ago. while at businesa.I
was suddenly attacked with exeruciating
pains In my feet knees and hands So severe
the attack that took my bed immediately
oWollen TO almost double their natural size.
and sleep was driven frou me- After suffer-
ing the most excruciating pain for week.
using liniments andvari"us other remedies.
. friend who sympathlzsd with my helpless
why don't you get swift's Specific and
NOT the medicine shall cost you nothing"
I st once secured tho ). s. s., and after
refreshing sleep In a week felt greatly
benefited. In three weeks could sit up and
walk about the room. and after using six
bottles was out and able to go 70 business
Since then / have been regularly at my poss
OF duty, and stard on my Il ct from nine 70
ten hours day an and % an, entirely tn % nTss tom TON
In my case. and I VIII cheerfnIly answer all
inquiries relative Thereto, either In person or
NV. 18th street, New YORK c'--.
HAsuyrrIL TrsS.-I have wo-de< on . -
we're attack OF rhe uma.isn b. - timely resort
70 Swift's Specific In ali cases where q per
manent relief IS sought this medicine COM
mends itself for a constitutional treatmens
that thoroughly eradicatss the seeds OF dis-
ii0" INC Kew. ". p. HARRISON. D. D.
Nxv YoRr. 81 tn Aviator spending
40 to be relieved of Blood Poison without
any benefit, e few bottles OF Swlfts spectno
worked q perfect cure y fosfkA
vIKxxA, GA--My little girl, aged stx. and
boy aged four years, had scrofuia In the
worst aggravated shape. They were puny
and sickIy. To-day they are healthy and 70
bust, all the result OF taking ). :; s.
jog T. CoIIIxR
LADY LAKE, SUMTER Co., FLA--Your 8. 8.
O. has proved wondeffui success n ny
cae<. The cancer on my face, no doubt,
would have soon hurfied me to my grave.
40 think Il is wonderful, rnd Las NO equal
B. IL. BAkD, Postmaster.
WACO, TEXAS, Nay 9, lss2
n & &C., Atlanta. Ga:
3entlemen-Knowingt thst you appreciate
voluntary testimonials, we take pleasure In
stating that one Of our lady customers has
reRuired her health by the use Of four iarge
bot;les Of your great remedy. after having
beea an Invalid for several ears Hertroubie
was extreme debility. caused BY disease Pc
euiiar TO her sex. WILLS y Co, Druggfsts-
Three books mz.lltd free on application
Al druggists sell y y s.
THE SWIFT SrEcEfc Co.,
Drawer & Atlanta Ga
New York, s56 broadway. z
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08

rhn,, ,.,.,., NOM fo,,- .b;.. :: H..
-...1 ~" 'ou' siins'S nhon La nl1'
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~
-.s o, s%on - sse 'niee alsnes OF zee cream
~In Snui he '"e o,ner nisn. as las. as coI,d
'"niio" Ta .neni' anu M II uidht MAKE me SICK.
-. 0's'' 'i''n "ailins :" ses
=" rT IT.
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or ,
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unoos ,tr -
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ar, s ses. VI; aon
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an 'DsA 'oa "An' ''n's
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o oous so.eu ~ tn,s Poan', A"u
.un -.Mo men .ounu saAins iongingy u
W.. ~ Ne Ta.e, sa A..
susss ,'. uiu "ais s1. some more
,n. o . you u.u, uinN WHO'S 'o''
ou "a. 'ouo ~ inole,
rs ai.e' you se' .uivusn
so' en'usn orin snosA
uiop
VI. IN yes YOU can'
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08
A Christian Spirit.

Mr.. Tsnacstein-I sells you dot coat, my
trent, for sayventeen tollar; you dake hum
alongi
Customer-I thought, Isaacstein, that you
didn't do business on Saturday. Isn't this
your Sundayi
Mr.. Isaacstein lin a low, reverent tone OF
voice)-My trent, to sell coat like dot for
sayventecn tollar vas not peesness. dos vas
charity.-Time.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08

An almond eyed washerman boarded .
cable car yesterday with his hamper Of
clothes. As the grip nearsd the corner where
he was to get or. the driver, who is a good
natured Lrishman, said to passenger: "Dy'e
see that haythuni Watch me and see me
throw him.
At the corner the Celestial made a leap,
and the driver applied his brake so as to give
the grip lurch The laundryman turned a
somersault in the air, came down on his feet,
grinned, and asked:
"What lie matter-stling bloke aginr-
Chicago Mail
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08

Declaring 1t necessary to improve Harrison
street from the east line of Forrest avenue
TO the west line Of Ludlow avenue by grading
and oravalinp
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08
English in Karisbad.

English is wrote at Karlsbad by "tailer"
in this way: Honorable Siri take me the
liberty, to make You attentive on my Etab-
lissement There please you, to favour me
by some uses of clothes, with your visit, and
always keep a large choise of englisch,
franch, and Drummer materials and clothes
shall made to measure on the best and newest
facon; and am like ready to full full your
esteem wushes New York Sun.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08

Mr. Shentpershent tat hotel table, sum-
ner resort)-Mein craciousl Isaac, you lit
tie vooll Vat fvor you ask for breti
Little Isaac-I want bret init my meat,
fadder.
Mr. Shentpershent- hear datl He
wants bret ven bret sell for only fife cents q
loaf, an he CANT eat kavater off a loaf, an
pay fife tollars a day at dis hotel Here,
Isaac, eat dis bottle Off olives. Dey cost Won
toilnr bottle The Cartoon,
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08
Not wholly a Superstition.

Mrs. Slimdiet-Before goiAg for your
trunks, Mr.. Newboarder, you might as well
sit down to dinner. will have an extra
plate put on OF course. did not expect
you today.
Mr.. Newboarder-How many boarders
have you, Mrs. Slimdieti
Twelve. You will make the thirteenth" !"
Thirteen at tablet | will wait until
supper time. fear if the thirteen Of us sat
down to table one of us. would die. You
have only arranged for twelve, you sayr
"Whyl What would the thirteenth die
Off
arvationr'-Philadelphi Record
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08

Dealer-Jake, mark those rockers in the
window S45.
Jake-Forty. five dollarsl Why, sir, you
offered one of them yesterday morning to
man for S1Si
Dealer-I know it, but I'm going to have
take OF sale of dollar q day on those
rockers, and expect it'll be at least two
weeks before they're all gone.-Detroit Free
t>raSc
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08

Llways Room for One More.
In ancient Mexico
There dweit, some time ago. ~
A person whom know,
Called In this way: ~
s'Sen6r Don Rodrigo ~
Jose del Armijo 80
Hermanos Tobago,"
Likewise ''el Rey."
When we got through with n, I.
II fools or wise of wit. "a
Not one In ten could hit
What it all meant. ~
Not one In twenty could
Pronounce 1t as he should. -
II one had time. he would
Think it inisspent.
So when we spoke this man, e
This titled Mexican, Il
We all pursued this plan, Il
Thinking it meet:
Dropped every el and del, z
Jose and Don as well, n /,
Ali names we couldn't spell,
Just called him pete"
He. with his wealth Of name.
Took this one, just the same,
And thus his card became
After that date:
''Senor Don Rodrigo
Jose del Armijo
Hermanos Tobago
FL Rey y Pete"
w. c. Edgar In Harper's Magazine.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08

'George, dear" said Mabel, II thought
you and papa were not very good friends"
swell, yes, that's 50 to great extent, Tn
sorry to say"
"Why, then, did you send him that grea
big handsome bulldogr
"Why did send him that dogF' Georgs
smiled tender, thoughtful, far away smile.
'You see, dearest, that dog and / are old
friends Merchant Traveller.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08
Not Altogether His Fault.

In the police court.
prisoner, whatever may be said Of your
offense, must add that the character OF
your accomplice is simply atrocious; he be-
ongs to the very offscouring Of society"
"But, your honor, what could doa 1t was
impossible for me to lay my hand on any de
cent man who would help me.n-Boston
RaaaoD
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08
Might orertax His Brain.

Mr.. Isaacstein Ito school teacher)-How
vas dot ieedle Jacob getting on init arith-
met:cl
School Teacher-~He is doing nicely, Mr..
isaacstein; he is in percentage now.
Mr.. lsaacstein-Vas dot soi Veil, dond you
teach dot poy holdings less than Won hundert
per cent. He vas too young yet to study
very hard.-New York Snn.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08
The Eject of Exercise.

After the msnagerie orator had eloquently
described the habits of the Australian kan
garoo, the finest living specimen of which
species was there on exhibition, an open
monthed countryman inquired:
"What makes his hind legs SO much bigger
nor his fore legs, misterf'
because he exercises more on them, sir, /"
explained the ora.or. indulgently.-New
York Sun.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08

A man who subscribed to The News for
three months writes: Il want to pay for my
subscription. but rm little short of money
so l send you half dozen eggs II you'll
put 'em under settin' hen they'll hatch out
enough chickens to pay for years subscrip-
ton" Now, this is new way to pay debts;
but if somebody will give us hen we viii
try the experiment. Snithviile (Ga) News
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08
Tint Altered the Case.

DR.. Pillsbury Ito patient,-My dear sir, all
you need is plenty Of outdoor exercise. Now,
here is a little work that / would strongly
advise you to read. 1t viii teach you how
to gain and preserve health. Its title is
Physical Culture for the Million" and
Patient-But, doctor
DR.. Pillsbmy-Welll
Patient wrote that book.-Time
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08

She dn great agitation,-Oh, George, I
hear papa at the front gate, and he is very
apt to be impulsive when he comes home
late.
He treassuringly)-Calm your fears, dear.
I'm in the coal business, you know, and he
has owed the firm money for coal for over
kline mouths. New York Sun.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08

"My son. said the judge, blandly, to the
youthful witness, ''do you know the nature
Of an oathf'
II thiIk do, sir" replied the little boy,
timidly; "my father has been betting ON the
Detroits this season. Chicago Tribune.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08

Burglar-I have followed the profession of
housebreaking for ten years and have never
peen arrested. have a new job nearly every
aight
Pickpocket-But aren't you afraid the po-
ice will get the drop on yous
Burglar-Not much. live next door to
he station house-Hotel Mail.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08
No Publicity Wanted.

"So there was row at your house last
night, Quigleyr
"Ycs, my uncle was badly hurt. But how
did you hear about itl took every precau-
tioa To have the affair kept quiet"
What precautions did you takel"
Il engaged several detectives to work on
the casa n-Lincoln Journal
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08
An E,pert n. the Nation., Game,

"Are you ball player yourself, Georgef
she asked at the Polo grounds.
He smiled a sweet, superior smile.
81 can give those New Workers points on
the game" he said.
Then foul tip came from Johnny Wards
bat and George, the expert. fell over two
rows of seats trying to get out OF the way
Time
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08
Habit

A photographer in a western county was
elected sheriff last fall. He had his first
hanging two weeks ago, and Just as the drop
was about to fall be unconsciously took out
his watch, glanced at the condemned man
and softly said: Now, look pleasant, please.
-Norristown Herald
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08

Dumley twho has sold watch)-You told
ne, Robinson, that if l would let you have
he watch you would pay me in thirty days
It's good deal more than thirty days now.
Robinson-Not by that watch; that watch
loses twelve hours out of the twenty-four.-
New York Sun.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08

The oldest woman's club in the United
States is the Woman's Physiological lnsti-
tute of Boston. Forty-One years ago It was
organized with the purpose OF promoting
the more perfect health Of women. There
II one surviving charter member, Mrs.
Hobbs, and she is eighty years old.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08
Consolation.

Invalid-I have been here at these springs,
doctor, six weeks, and l don't see that the
water has had the slightest effect.
DIR. Candid-You must have patience.
There was man here last season who didn'.
die until after he had been here two months.
Texas Siftings.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08
His Chief Suffering,

Old Gentleman ito tramp,-I suppose, my
friend, that in the nomadic life you lead
there are great many drawbacksi
Tramp (bitterly)-Yes, sir; there are some
drawbacks, Of course, but suffer more from
"move ons. Time
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08
A Serious Quarrel

"What time did young Sampson leave last
night, Clarar asked her papa.
at was after midnight" replied the girl.
with naughty sneer. ave had quarrel,
and hade him good-by forever"
''If you quarreled, Iwonder he didn't leave
earlier"
"We didn't begin quarreling until nesriy
10 O'Clock. New York Sun.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08
Too Much for the fiub.

Customer to Boston barber}-What has
become of that New York man you had last
weeki he was the best barber | ever saw.
Boston Barber-Yes. he was an artist; but
be persisted in saying mex gent" for ''next
gentleman and bad to let him go-Hew
York Sun
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08

Leader Of Lvr --;-SS --S rarty-Now, younf
man, make full confession or up you go.
Prisoner-I was fooling with q gun.
pointed it at my brother, and
''You didn't know it was loadedp
''No."
"Men, pull on the rope and let him swing.
Lincoln Journal
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08

Belle-Introduce me to your Pittsburg
friend, dear. hate to see girl want all
the good things in life.
Nell-How did you know he was Pitts
burg mana
Belle-By his ironical smile and steel blue
eyes.-Boston Budget
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08

She-Hushl Not another word
He-Oh, don't decide now; don't, beg Of
you. Take time to consider. Remember the
happiness of life
"Do hushl For mercy's sake stop.
Wait"-
"Waiti I'll wait century IL need be.
Like Jacob, I'll serve"-
She tafter rushing franticaily around the
room ard peeping into all the corners)-Hs
isn't here after all
"Who = wbol Oh, have ! q rival -
haven-
''Calm yourself, Mr.. Nicefellow. IL
thought I heard my little brother In the
room Go n-"-Philadelphia Record.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08
valor and Discretion.

snow, then, my hearties," said a gallant
captain, seeing that his men were likely to
be outnumbered, ''you have a tough battle
before you. Fight like heroes till your pow
der's gone-then run I'm q little lame, I'll
start nowf'
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08

At recent exhibition If paintings lady
and her son were regarding with much inter
est picture which the catalogue designated
as Luther at the Diet of Worms Having
descanted ut some length upon its merits, the
by remarked: "Mother, see Luther and
Il table, but where are the wormsl'
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08
An Indian stioux.

We understand the Sioux will require q
doux more days consideration Of the treaty
before they can make up their minds def
nitely as to what they will dioux Whiouxl
Rochester Post Express.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08

Rossi, the italian tragedian, is said to be
about to retire permanently from the stage
That probably means q farewell" visit to
the United States-Lowen Courier.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08
A Liberal Inducement.

Young Man ito jeweler)-Will the watch
cost anything extra if should want little
time on it'll
Jeweler-No, sir; you pay me Sc for the
watch, and I'll throw the time in--New
York Sun
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08
A Case I'm Point.

"Be mine,n he cried with voice surcharged
with anguish. "If you refuse me l shall
der That was forty years ago, and the
heartless girl refused him Yesterday he
died Girls, beware.-Binghamton Repub-
icau
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08

Observation-Disclosures, vos In luck.
Sandmeyer-How vos dot, Ikeyi
Weinstein-I haf bin occepted py Guggen-
heimer's vidowl Nose Guggenheimer vos
yust my size, und you know vot wardrobs
dot feller had, Yakey.-Time.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08

"Isn't the baby wee little thing Tor seven
monthsr q
'Oh, not so very. He's small naturally.
They feed him ON CONDENSED mill. k."-Har-
per's Bazaar.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08

81 say, Miss Musicale, won't you E.
favah me with little song"
Certainly, Mr.. Bajove, and what shall il
bcF'
"Why think should enjoy that one about
weturning the w-wabbitn
Thoughtfully): Returning the rabbitr
wabbit again, again.'n
''Oh, l think you mean Bring Back My
Bonnie to Me-"
"Yas, that's it, Miss Musicale, 'Bwing back
my bunny to me- 'n-Time.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08

Passenger-Do we stop long enough at the
next station to eat a sandwich
Conductor-No, sir; We only stop twenty
minutes-Lifa
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08
OF Course.
Gaining strength.

How is that butter | sent youP asked
Warwick grocer of q transient customer.
"Better, thanks; gains strength every day" ("
Warwick Dispatch.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08
An Assistant Edito-.

Citizsn-I hear you are in the newspaper
business, Uncle Rastus.
Uncle Rastus-Yes, sab; Use er journals
now. he'ps write de edtorils.
Citizen-You dos
Uncle Rastus-oh, yes; keeps de flies
often de boss, sah.-Time.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08

The young woman who adyertises Tor
husband is continually coming to grief.
She never experiences any trouble in get
ting the husband. All the trouble comes
afterward. Omaha World.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08
Inherited.

"How fond Charley Roberts is Of his
fatherl He fairly worships him" ayes; he
takes after his father in that respect "-Har-
per's Bazaar.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08

"It's perfect angel Of house. said she
"All wings, l suppose said hs.-HarPer',
Baxar.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08
Rear This I'm Mind.

Some men are born witty. Others have
q good memory and some witty friends
Somerville Journal
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08
Two ways Of Looking at . Thine.

Two Ways Of Looking at q Thing.
'How old are you, Tommy7n
''Nine when I'm on my feet and when
stand on my head"
That's funny; how do you make itf'
''Why, if you stand 8 on its head it's Q,
isn't itf'
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08
HOW LOVELY WOMAN DRINKS.

While the Thirsty Horde Of Men Looh on
with Euyy.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08

The most unhappy feature about being .
Jail bird is said to be its inability to dy.-
Binghamton Republican
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08
A LEGAL LOVER.

~ 49,
W.
III Z>A quite,
m Va They sought a moments
E> L/1 brief respite
> nm Out of the whirl and where
>1>W the light
~ Was soft and mellow.
And there In happiness alone
They sat until the flute had blown
trill to drown the final tone 4
That filed the cello.
Outside the window they could see
The snow upon the winter tree,
Whose twigs once trembled with the giee
OF summers swallows.
And while upon this scene intent
They gazed, q ray of sentiment
Appeared and conversation went
Somewhat as follows:
"Clarissa"-here he paused while
To contemplate Clarissa's smile -
And polish up his verbal style;
She, lightly drumming
Her fingers on the window, lest,
Embarrassed he forget the rest,
Gave him a chance and meanwhile guessed
Just what was coming.
'Ciarissa"-here he took her hand
To help his rhetoric to land;
She let him hold the fingers, and,
By squeeze judicious.
And gentle turning of her head, 49,
She punctuated what he said a.
An action which, interpreted,
Meant "How delicious." 4<
Sl1flssa. uariltR -ailtT l1tsc
He suffered an emphatic squeeze ~
Al love you"-here upon his knees, ~.
In true devotion.
He knelt before Clarissa, who ~
Was all uncertain what to do; fe&
Her heart seemed practicing new NJ
Eccentric molten. "a
Then like fervent worshiper, u
He told his beads Of love to her; ~
Said he: 'Clarissa, prefer s,SH
To make life's journey ~
Along the paths Of Paradise" RE
He said that sentence over twice,
And thought IL sounded rather nice
For sn attorney.
.rm poor he said Qove's truest art
Makes this a soto voce part,
-'But If you'll promise me your heart
In sweet surrender,
We shall not want for sordid gold;
Ciariss,a, you are wealth untold
You are"-the metaphor was bold
My legal tender"
Frank Demster Sherman in Life.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08

Mrs. Richesse-Are you going to Europe
this summer, Mrs. Bullion!
Mrs. Bullion-No, indeed; can't afford
it. Besides, my cook is going.-Time.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-09-08

1t makes man almost sorry that he moved
when he reads in the advertisement in the
paper next day the real estate agents descrip-
tion of the advantages of the residence he
has just given up.-Journal of Education.