St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-10-14
A DUDES DILEMMA.
He Couldn't Spell Narraganset

ne OOutun'C open N3rfa2anSett,
So He Had to Go to Newport.
Philadelphia Times.
The ST. James hotel is torn upside
down on account of the many repairs
which Capt. Connor is having made in
that favorite hOstelry. The resultant
confusion has removed the typewriter'S
brass raiiinged corner from one of the
Broadway windows back toward the
clerks desk, and temporarily left in
front of it one of the large leather-cov-
cred settees i'll which guests of the hotel
lounge. | was enSconced a recent aft
ernoon in a corner of this snug haven
of rest. My reading was suddenly dis
turbed by the voice of some one adj
dressing the young woman type
writer. The accent was so high and
so nearly effeminate that l turned
to see whether the person was of mas
cuIine or feminine gender. l found the
speaker was dressed in male attire. L
found afterward that he was Louis
vile dude, and one of party of eight
from Mr.. WatterS0n'S home, who had
registered at the st. James. He wished
the typewriter to prepare letter to a
young lady in Louisville, informing her
that he would reach that city at GER
tain time, and requesting her to invite
'.eight couples" to a theates' box party
which he and friend desired to give.
Tell her" he said in high note to
the typewriter. only he pronounced the
feminine prOnOun as though spelled
'hah." Tell her that L am preparing
arranging, you knOw-getting ready
-ah, fixing my luggage in shape to go
to Narragansett pier this evening, and
that l will be in Louisville about Sat
urday week. Just fix the idea to suit
yourself"
NO. we don't do that way" said the
pretty young typewriter, with toss of
her thickly tressed head. II am only
here to do typewritlng. Anything you
dictate to me will print on the ma
chine'
''Well. you know am not bit par
ticular," said the Louisville imbecile;
''young lady is not particular, either.
Just fix it up in your own way and it
will be all right"
Evidently the little woman was not
certain of her own powers, for she said:
mo, we don't do business that way. l
don't compose letters. l am only
typewriter. You will have to dictate
to me-" And she looked straight be-
fore her, with compressed lips.
WELL" gasped the youth from Ken
tucky, with lOng-drawn breath, ''be-
gin by saying that am preparing to go
to Narragansett Pier tonight"
The little Tose-tipped fingers played
over the machine as though it were
piano. and when in few moments the
''tip-tap" music ceased, the maiden re-
peated, in a mechanical way: Il am
preparing to go tO-what is the name of
that place."
'.Narragansett Pier" replied, in an
absent-mlnded way. the young man, who
was evidently mentally struggling with
the further erection OF his verbal struet-
ure.
How do you spell Narragansett?"
asked the public secretary.
The LouiSvillian looked at her blank
" for a moment, and then began: IN
i-a'-then he hesitated and suddenly,
as his face frightened with an inspira-
ton. he exclaimed: mo, that's not
right. You spell it your own way. Just
plain Narragansett, you know"
Il cant't spell it," said the young
woman decisively, as she crossed her
hands on her lap.
swell, I'm sure | can't" replied the
embarrassed correspondent hOpelessly.
''Neither can II said the typewriter,
inditferently. what will we do about
it?''
The maiden appeared as serene as
June morning. The youths brow was
knitted in what to him was thought.
He was evidently sadly perpleXed. Sud
denly the creaSes were smOOthed and
his face lighted as he exclaimed: ''Pn
tell you what We'll do, I'll go to New
port. You can spell Newport, can't
yOu?"
Had / not heard all this myself |
would not believe the narrator of it.