New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-12-23
MR.. BOVSER HAS THEORIES.
MRS. BowsER's ACCOUNT OF THEM

MRS. BOWsER'S ACCOUNT OF THEM
From The Detroit Free Press.
Mr. Bowser doesn't intend to let sickness or death
get ahead Of us as family any the eHp psht ti thing In
lie mix time One day he came home an hE i%
portant look aud the first thing he did was 70 Doll
up stairs to our bedroom ana lover me win S loom
for two hours. He then came gathering down 10
ask me for a pan: - ~ .srsa
To save all our lives" he answered.
sYour bedroom is full Of poisonous gases WINCH
must be absorbed by an open vessel OF water
He eHSecied IT, That's the weapon of the ignorant
Mrs. Howser n YOU want to die by poisonous gases
poisoning the blood have nothing 70 say but shan
srang ,ne ae9de for several days and sanitary
plumber tells that we have poisonous ar III 'n'
Your lassitude couldn't have come from being
out to club and lodge four successive nights until L.
He selzed the pan and hurried up stairs and when no
filled at the lavatory be sat II IN INC miade % no
floor and down with relieved look on MS iace'
See you don't feel bettsr tO.@orrow than S.s yp1
have for month. It's wonder we are not al oeau,
6 Did the ancients know about those POISONOUS
not a thing. They never gave them thought"
And yet the average OF health was seventeen Rer
cent above that of to-day and tho average OF noray
Oh well if you want to die, go ahead. I'll even
buy rope and help y,n to hang yourselL eapeS.ea
this, of course, but Hdioule never moves me- MD
TWO hours later he went up stairs in his slippers
he sat his foot plump down in that pan Of water
There yell and Jump ana oyer wen on ,ns e pa AZ
you have seen hen do on wet day what SAID On
that occasion kept Mr. BOwser very quiet i0r an Sp one
night he brought home ppSdsngv
ard sneaked It up stairs After supper no be
something in a basin and was ABOUT to hold IL oVor
MIR Bowser. have you got theory" s:lIed
Look here Mrs. Bowser- he replied, as he put 6n"p
the basin, you have heard OF bacteria presume
They are the germs of disease floating about ut
They alive If inhaled cholera yellow feVer ana
other dread diseases are the result fumga'ioh
~ And you are going to fumgato this room !.
am I am going 10 XIII of the dreaded bacteria
"WeII vou'll drive us out OF the house or Kill us.
went down stairs and he burned oompOuh dao OF
tar and sulphur In minutes we haa 10 open uoGs
and windows. and the cook came running IN W ASH
@Is 1t cremation Mr. Bowser is tryins on rnolIed
coming down the stairs at that moment
And there's bacteria in The house ,"
And I've worked here four weeks under the
Of the dreadful creatures! hr. bo"Sor'
And Quit she did We had sleep on the sitting.
0 oa a ne a aH UaO ffof ws hardly
however, when Mr.. Bowser began 10 shiH srouiio
Any more bactera17 asked ~
Mrs. Bowser. you want to sit here ana ae
common-sense precautions TO preserve my own
health"
Is anything wrong noWI- . -. -.
sewer gas in the house,
"Impossblci I shan't have no moro stun burned
until know II IS necessary" -, T.. 900.
Won't youl II there is sewer-gas here IL must
For the next week tho entire house smeIled Of
chloride Of line until ono could Id hardy astes draw long
have been thinking" he said TO me one even
ing. THAT I may bring tho germs Of some terrible
disease homo IN my clothes. / ride on the car, you
know. and 1 ought 70 take precautions
Garry Garry dsinfectant about me TO repel the
germs"
IL might 10 a good idea
Now YOU are talking sense. Now you seem 10
understand the peril which has menaced u.s.
lie cot something downtown the next day. ]
think some Of his friends put up 1ob on NM
knowing hs craze. IL compound which left
him alone on the street-car before he had ridden
three blocks and he had no sooner got into the
house than We had TO retire to the back doors.
The cook got a sniff OF IT, and down went tho
dinner and up went her hands, and she shouted al
Mr.. BOwser: -, -.
man as will keep skunk under his house would
beat out OF my wages, and III DO goin' THIS
mnu e. -
II took soap and water and perflimery and half
a DAYS time remove the odor, and when declared
that II the last straw Mr.. Bowser crossed his
hands under his cOat-tals and replied:
Mrs BOwser, ] believe this house 10 DO clear OF
bacteria. owing my prudence and selfsaofhce, and
l want to keep IL so
y suppose got 'em here"
"WithOut doubt, madam
And all this rumpus has been on my account"
Exactly. But don't 20 too far with me. Enough
| & enough You must stop right where you ]
have humored you all ! propose to"