St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1888-09-22
THE WAR OF 1912.
W1Qls J. Abbott Claims That it Was
Caused by an Cnruly Fig.

W1uls J. Abbott Claims That IL Wa
Caused by an Unruly Pig.
1t all happened in this wise: Two
citizens of Providence, X. l.. fell into
a most unseemly discussion on account
of the lawless trespassings of pig
owned by one of them. The aggricyed
party possessed very fine garden. in
which it was his custom to spend his
hours of leisure. wedding. grafting,
and transplanting the flowers and
vegetables IN which he delighted. But
often. as he entered his garden in the
evening. his ears would be saluted
with a grunt and & rustic. and the Ia.
form Of his neighbours pig might be
seen making "a has.y tli.h: from the
garden in which it had been placidly
roofing all day.
In high dungeon the gardener
sought his neighbor and complained
OF the pigs's frequent visits. declaring
that little time spcn: in repairing the
rowing propensitics. But TO this the
owner of the pig responded that if his
neighbor would keep his rickety fences
in proper repair. the pig might take
its daily airing without temptation,
and the garden would not be endan.
gered.
Repeated misdeeds on the part Of the
pig famed the smoldering fires of dis
SapSion into III. tam.s of nn.,,, Ln-,I
ity. At last the crisis came. The
owner Of the garden. rising unusually
early one morning. discovered the pig
contentedly munching the last of a fine
bed of tulip-bulbs. Flesh and blood
could stand it no longer. Selling a
pitchfOrk. which lay near AT hand. the
outraged gardener plunged its sharp
tines into the hapless pig. and bore the
body. thus fatally impaled. to the sly.
where it met the gaze of its owner an
hour or two later. Thereafter it was
war to the knife between the two
neighbOrs.
Now. what had all this to do with the
war of 1912? The answer is simple.
The two neighbors belonged TO the
political party known IS the Federal
lists.
Through all the outlages that Great
Britain inflicted upon the United
States: while seamen were being i'm
pressed. American vessels stopped or
the high seas. and while every posi-.
BILE indignity was being committed
against the flag of the United States.
the Federals remained friendly &c
Great Britain. and contested every
proposition for the declaration OF war
But the Democratic party was eager
for war. and as British oppression be.
came more unbeara5le the strength OF
the Democrats increased. II 50 hap
pencd that the election district in
which the two neighbors lived had
been about equally divided between
Democrats and Federalis:s. but the
latter party had always succeeded in
carrying the election. But in 1911 the
owner of the garden was candidate
for the Legislature on the Fed
eralist ticket His neighbor had
always voted that ticket; but
now. with his mind filled with the bit
ter recollection of the death of his pig.
he cast his ballot for the Democrat.
When the ballots were counted the
Democrat was foand 10 be elected by a
majority of one.
When the newly-elected legislator
took his seat. his first duty was to vote
for United States Senator. He east
his vote for the candidate of the Dem
ocrats. who was also elected by ma
jOrity of one. When this Senator took
his place in the United States Senate
he found the question of war with
Great Britain pending. and after "A long
and bitter discussion il came TO vote. |
The Democrats voted for war. and the
Federalists against it. As a result of
the voting. war was declared-again |
by a majority OF one vote.-W Wills d.
.db60t, ia st. Nicholas.