The Clifton clarion., 1888-07-18
A WILD WESTERN WEDDING.
Effective Coupling of n Wyoming
 Pair by q Justice or the Peace.

f@"OStifC SOuphihS OI si N OhtHS
 Pair by q Justice or the Peace.
 It appears that one Jonas Bur ton had been chosen justice of the peace of one of the small Wyom- ing towns, not because he was possessed of any special qualifi- cations for the office, but on ac- count of his personal magnetism, which had about it all those qual- ities which go to make the yellow dog a thing of beauty and joy forever to the lovers of pure cuss- edness. Among other functions of his office Hon. Mir. Jonas one day found himself called upon to join in "bonds of paddock" as matrimony is sometimes called in the west, a raw young couple from up the country.
 His Honor was appalled, at the situation. He could commit a horse-tEief to the gallows with all the elegance and impressiveness of manner which the act demand ed. He could sentence man to jail for life for holding five aces in his hand at poker without turn ing a hair, but as to "marryin' folks, he wasn't in it, be gosthle- mitelyw But as justice of the peace he had to do it, and his per turbation of spirit was dreadful to witness.
 About an hour before the cere- mony was to take place the cor respondent. accompanied by one of the leading citizens of the place, a Mir. Stiles, was sent to the squire's cabin. and found him pouring over a large volume of the statutes of Wyoming, sweat ing like a horse, and looking ter ribly anxious. After greeting the callers, he said:
 Stiles, the durned galoots that got up those yer laws hadn't gumption enough to last them over night. I've run through the blamed book half dozen times, an can't find dod-blasted word about matermony or how that hitchin' process is proceeded with. I've just got to put the clamps on this couple, hit or miss, an eff l don't yoke lem up legal, I can't help it."
 "Oh," said Stiles, "just do the best you can. Any kind of cere- mony will do in this country, for people never question the legality of the thing. I'll post you as we'll as I can."
 Stiles then explained to him about how he should proceed, and the old man thought, finally, he could worry through it. Ere long the couple appeared, followed by a crowd of the citizens of the camp. The candidates stood up before the old squire, who said:
 ''Feller-citlzens, this var man an this var woman have appeared before this court to be hitched Tn legal bonds of wedlock. If any galoot in the crowd knows of any thing that mout block the game ef tux to higher court let him bazoo. or else keep his jaw to him self now and forevermore. All in favor O me proceedin' as author ized by law say T."
 Everybody said "I."
 Contrary, 'No,'"
 Nobody said No"
 'The motion is carried unani- an the court rules that thar haint nuthin' to prevent the trying of the case. Grip your hands," The candidates joined hands. "Amos Peabody, do you swa'ar thet you will freeze to Mandy forever and ever? Thet yell love Ter and pervide fer Ter, an treat Ter square an white, accordin' to the rules and reguIa- tions set down to govern sich cases in the laws O the United States, so help you God?"
 "Yaas, sir; I do sir"
 "That fixes your end O the bar gain. Mandy Thomas, do you