Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1888-06-29
SMUGGLED GOODS.
TRAVELLERS WHO TRY TO EvADE
THE CUSTOM HOUSE DUTIES.

Methods Adopted by the Flora McFlim-
seys-A Woman's Inconsistency Made
I Manifest-An Inspector Thrown Off His
Guard-Two English Dudes.
/ An inspector Of customs who has grown
round shouldered in the business of recon-
noitering for smuggled goods was asked the
other day to relate few of his experiences
during his long term of service in the gov
,ernment's employ. After allowing his mem
orv to drift backward few years he rallied,
and first instancel the case of lady who re-
sides on Beacon street.
ssShe ISL said he, ''as rich as Croesus, and
lis a shining mark in her philanthropic work.
mo one gives more literally to the cause Of
charity. No one dispenses with freer hand
means for spreading the Gospel in heather
Hands. She bears the reputation of being a
large hearted, full souled Christian lady.
Yet she swore falsely, as | believe, to the
boarding officer. She declared she had moth
ing in her possession of dutiable nature.
There was something about the woman's
actions, however, that awakened suspicion.
Ia careful examination of her trunks appar-
emily verified her statement. There re-
l,nained, however, lingering doubt that she
was trying to deceive. Acting upon this
lmisgiving she was asked to step into small
room near by, which is used for the purpose
of examining female passengers whose truth
fulness has been challenged. Under her gar
ments were found forty-four yards of fine
black Lyons silk. The fabric had been
Blasted to her petticoat. She seemed over
come with embarrassment when the discov-
cry was made. Her only excuse was the
very thin one that she was not aware the
silk was dutiabla She was not asked why
she concealed it. Is there any gauge by
which the inconsistency displayed by this
woman can be measured2
About two years ago, while an inspector
was making his rounds among the passen-
gers, a tall, good hooking, finely dressed lady
nudged him in the ribs Gnd softly whispered,
Scan l see you privately Z few ;aomeatss"
She motioned the inspector 10 one size, at the
same time keeping her eye. aze4 upon two
plainly dressed women who were standing
together near the connauionway AZ want to
tell you," begin Tia pretty siren, that the
two women you see over there have made
false declaration. Their stateroom was next
to mine, and overheard them on several oc-
casions during the trip planning a scheme to
conceal from the customs officers quantity
of valuable goods they have in their posses
sion. You will do well to make careful
examination of their baggage and the clothes
they have on. | dislike deception in any
form, and make this disclosure in the interest
of honesty"
The inspector thanked his fair informant
and promised that he would make thorough
investigation of the case.
When the two suspected females had re-
ceived their baggage upon the wharf the in
spector proceeded to make l. most careful
search Of their contents, but found no trace
of valuables. The inspector thought this was
only blind to throw him off the scent, and
he asked an inspectress to search the persons
of the two women. This was done, but not
shadow Of anything dutiable was found It
now began to dawn upon the mind of the
inspector that he had been tricked by the
gay eavesdropper, and that she was probably
the one who was trying to defraud the gov
eminent, and not the two ordinary looking
females who had been under suspicion. It
was neat little game to throw off suspicion,
but will never be worked again on the same
inspector. It was afterward learned that the
two women were Chicago school teachers,
who had been abroad spending their summer
vacation. They felt very much embarrassed
at the attention they received at the hands
of the officers, and were at loss to fathom
its meaning. The poor old pedagogues prob
ably never had dishonest thought enter
their heads.
An amusing incident occurred four or five
weeks ago on board Cunarder, when two
finely dressed ladies declared that they had
nothing in their possession upon which an
impost duty should be levied A few mo-
ments after taking the oath they were seen
In close consultation, and their actions in
Dictated that they had under consideration
matter of momentous Importance. Finally,
one Of them accosted the customs officer, and
said: 81 guess I've made mistake in declar-
ing as did, as we have several articles in our
trunks which should pay duty" 1t is no I'M
usual occurrence to find these conscience
stricken people.
A little dumpy kind of man attempted to
run in three new listers short time ago as
part of his own wearing apparel. When his
trunk was opened and the garments taken
out he was asked if he intended to wear the
'"toppers" himself.
certainly do" he replied.
81 don't think the tailor gave you very
good fit; will you try one of them ong"
"They were all made from the pattern of
this one have on, and the little man turned
around twice. II don't see the necessity of
going to the trouble Of finding out whether
the others fit me-"
: 81 am sure the tailor must have made a
mistake" persisted the inspector, "and l
shall insist upon you giving me some evil
dence that he did not"
The little man tried every way to satisfy
the inspector that the coats were for his own
use, but failing, drew forth one of the heavy
garments and crawled into It, 1t was like |
drawing salt bag over a crochet needle,
The little man haSdisappeared The top of |
his hat and the toes of his shoes were all that |
could be seen of him.
! whats the ightest you'll let me Off forr |
softly asked the little man.
The account was made out and he paid |!
without whimper.
Two bowling dudes were found one day |
standing over their traps looking about in a |
tsneering, contemptuous manner at the scenes /
the new world presented at the landing of an
ocean steamship. They were the cream of /
lswelldom When the inspector approached |
them and asked to have their trunks unlocked |
they seemed beset with establishments.
II beg pahdon, but what did you say. sirY'
Iqueried one Of them.
|. "Open your trunks, want to inspect your
baggage"
At this the spokesman Of the two threw a
bunch of keys upon the wharf and said:
"Hopen the trunks yourself, fellow"
"Lift the lids of those trunks in half min
ute or they go to the appraisers store, quietly
remarked the inspector.
"Gentlemen at 'ome don't do this kind of
work. What blawsted customs you ave 'ere,
to be sure. that regular gentleman TO do a
Wallets labah"
He opened his trunks however, taking this
first lesson In democracy in the land of free.
dom.-Boston Herald.
The Leaders of Men,
Professor Herrbach. a famous teacher in
one of the Prussian gyrlnasia, once said: SIN
every class in the schools there are brilliant
boys who carry off the nrizes for coho1o,.chia |