Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1888-11-09
JEsZS OF THE pprc,

-Ha'per's Bazaar. ''sAle So
PLEASE, I want to buy sn;,.
wort worth OF hay rs it for your 5atl,.
ooh, no, it's for the horse ''''er
THERE is no utilization 1yetxoo !.
cross old maid and the small boy NJ r;a y
top, and yet both are spinsterz. . with
ONE curious thing about the CO.
pent is that it is always some otbar. Ne
that sees it.-Ha,per's Boza,. '' ma
ONE Of the main questions of tha :.
IN regard to some men is not what ~ ~
live on, but why they live on. ''s
A BARTENDER is one of the hos.
tured of men. He is at all times ~
pared to answer you with smile p'e
The ability to mind ones own /,
ness is the rarest of modern accon,,,,. ~"
ments and is never met with in n,
society. p'l''
The conservatism of the Italians ;.
refusing to adopt gas in lien Of cand1.
is perhaps delicate token Of ro.ns
for their neighbor Greece. NV
WHEN Buffalo and Cleveland foun
out that Detroit had passed them
population they were scared out Of tb.;
census. Detroit Free Press
YOUNG Mathematician .moro;n
Miss De Stael. Selecting diamonds
o, do let me assist you. assure von 1
am a perfect epic,,re in diamonds
Hd,per's Bazor.
WE fear that the philosopher who said
that the ladies who wear unusualr
rich gowns keep their husbands M
usually poor gave voice to great trutb
-Ha,pe,''s Bosar.
"4AND how do you stand on the tariff
Mr.. Cornbrake?" asked the schoolna,
ter; "are you protectionist? 81" Va
piled the chiropodist. "no; I'm a fpet
raider" Dies). -Bu,deNe.
A New YORK actress is credited with
making hits which bring tears to tbo
eyes of her spectators. And yetnolmlv
thinks of arresting her for assault and
NATURALIZATION Transcript.
DocroR Ito patient)-Haye you any
objection to my calling in a consulting
physician? Patient--Call in as nary
accomplices as you need to complete tina
assassination. -Teras SiJtia,gs.
In Mexico young ladies give few
drops OF their blood as charm to the
young men. In this country men prefer
to bleed the old man and taste the
girls breath and sample hercomplexion.
'DocroR. ! have come to see Won
about my little boy" What ails him.
"One leg is shorter than the other and
he limps. Now what would YOU do in
such case" II think I should linn
too
JAeLEl-Does she remind you Of any.
thing biblical? Wagley-Yes, indeed.
Consider the lily and the rose; for
even the town in all its vermillion was
not painted like unto these-cheeks.-
Judge.
Mrs. SpANDELL (of Boston)-Wlat
charming little doggy! Is he mastica
torially inclined? Her Fishman-Notas
L knows on. marin; but / wouldn't 60
near him. He bites wunst in while
Judge.
On the road to London and Oxiorlis
famous old tavern called the Bird in
the Bush. But coaching parties never
stop there. They think fo,u-in hand
preferable. -PiHsb1uyh Ch,Onice
Telegraph.
A SOLEMN old scientist printed the
fact that by bathing the feet in tepid
water man could double his circula-
ton, and now all the editors OF our
daily journals are having tanks fitted to
their heating apparatus.
FIRST YourH-By iinks, Harry,
what's the matter? Did Clara We're de
We're refuse you? Second Youth (sadly)
No, she accepted me. Then what 4
in creation are you looking so blue
about?" II spent so much money j
counting her that I haven't enough to
buy an engagement ring. "Philode''
phia Reco,M.
MIR. JONES" said the managing ed |
itor to one Of his reporters, did You at
tend the spiritual seance at Library
Hall this EVENING"" Il did replied
the reporter. Il hope you have treated
the medium fairly Mr.. Jones. N'n
know good many Spiritualists read our
paper. How have you written it mp
Fair to medium" replied the reporter
=, Te,rds Strings.
AUGUSTUS DE CARLYLs-Ah. good
evening. Miss Emma, is your sister,
ah-she's singing in the parlor. how
delightfully."- she renders that beautiful
little moroccan OF Pinsuti,s! / wonder
what key she is. singing i'll? Emma
What key? Oh, 1 know-she's expect
ing Fred De,norest, and mamma says