Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1888-11-16


Mn. NYE-I have enjoyed all your writings in
The Globe ever 80 much, and noticing that You
have given great deal of advice free, thought
that possibly Won would tell me the best method
OF getting rid OF an impertinent young man.
whose room is much preferable 10 his company.
Hoping that do not intrude on your valuable
time. Yours truly, -.
You do not say why you wish 10 get rid
of the young man, nor do you state what
is the matter with him; whether he is o
poor conversationalist or too fluent in that
line; whether the first two joints of his
finger and thumb are yellow with cigar
cite stains, or what his leading character.
istics are. Possibly he has fatty degener'
alton of the thinker.
However, You say he is an impudent
young man. and / infer that you have
gone through the preliminaries Of gentle
scorn and such things as that Now,
what shall we do TO make him fully nm
derstand that you do not want him 10 re-
main!
Perhaps you have such thing as q
younger brother about the house. If so,
bring him in and let him toy with the
young man few hours. 1ou can excuse
yourself while you ostensibly put on your
other dress, and il you delay long enough
you can cause the young man great deal
Of intense suffering. You can take the
right kind OF n younger brother, with in
fammatory hair and white eyes and warts
on his thumbs and season cracks in the
backs Of his hands, and if you properly
''sick" the boy on his prey and fasten the
door securely you can come back in an
hour and do anything you want 10 with
that young man. ! know this to he true,
for have been the young man myself.
al
OTHER INpIGNITIEs.
have known n young man who in
tested house that way 10 be cradicated
by means Of very sod music. They do not
die in the house.
Another plan would be to avoid laugh
Ing at his funny anecdotes. Wait till he
gets through with his anecdote and looks
up in your eyes for a twinkle of merri-
ment. That is the time to refrain from
twinkling. Wait till he gets 10 the nub
of the joke as it were, and pricks mp his
ears TO listen for wild burst Of silyery
, laughter. That is the time TO hang on 10
your silvery laughter 1t will give him a
panied expression OF countenance, and
you will see him soon after look at his
watch. When he completes his story,
suddenly wake up and ask him If that IL
all. Few men can endure thH !or over
two weeks.
OF course there are othe and more
radical methods Of accomplishing the re-
suit you wish, but these as the ones more
common in the best soc,. ". ! naturally
supposed that you wanted the methods
used in the best society, or You would
have gone elsewhere instead of coming
to me.
Should you finally wish to be more Sc
we're, however, you can invite n young
girl TO he present during the young man
stay. i would suggest that this young
girl be O fluent talker on the subject Of
clothes. II You both keep the talk going
pretty well while the young man looks at
the album or gazeS with fixed stare
through n stcrcoscope that hasn't any pic.
lures in it, you will soon have his pachy.
dermic pelt on the fence.
A BARE POSSIBILITY.
But there is n bare possibility that thi:
young man is In love with YOU, and would
think it humorous even if you were to fill
him full of fine shot. In that case ! do
not know what you ought TO do. Love is
strange missive. II goes where it is
not sent and it refuses TO go where it Is
sent.
II you could get him away by himself,
VI WOIlu DC Wei enough Perhaps 10 ASK
him if he loves you. That's the way
would do The quicker n matter of that
kind ia disposed Of the better. Ask him
in q manly way if such is the case, and if
be really does love you, and has reason "a
believe that you were paying attention &c
him al this time, you cannot in honor de-
sert him now.
DO not be discouraged Let me know
how you get on with the suggestions
have made above and am confident we
will succeed.
Have you ever tried wearing n large,
tall hat with a stuffed bluejay in il TO the
theatre and sitting in the seat just in
front Of him' Try it if you have not done
10 already and il you 90 not get rid Of
him. as we'll rs great number of Law
abiding citizens, wri,e me and l will sug'
gest something else.