Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1888-05-26
LOS ANGELES, cal.
A Graphic Account of Its Locality, Com
parative Anatomy, Etc.

Los Angeles is bounded on four sides by
| the State OF California; on the bottom by
real estate, and on the top by climate.
Land is extremely high in Los Angeles.
Life cannot exist on some of the corner
lots on account of the rarity OF the atmos-
phere covering them.
Los Angeles, as now laid out, is about
the size of the State Of Rhode Island.
That portion of the town which has at
tanned its majority, however, is consider
ably smaller than the above-named Lilh-
putian commonwealth. The other portion
that portion which has not taken out its
naturalization papers-spreads out in every
direction, as far as the eye can reach over
hill and dale principally dale, over fur
rowed rock and mortgaged homestead, and
is represented by transformations wooden
stakes painted white.
On these future busy thoroughfares the
prairie dog howleth to his frst-mate, and
nestleth in the grateful folds of the auc-
tioneer's red flag; while the embryotic,
and too frequently full-fedged cyclone
dallieth with the ungarnered whiskers of
the Eastern tenderfoot capitalist, who is
vainly trying to picture "busy mart of
trade" where only the commerce of nature
is.
Los Angeles is the hot-bed of real-estate-
ism; it is also the Mecca of the man with
one lung. From a population of $4,000 in
1880, 1t has grown to population of u.s.,
600 at the present time; but the man who
boarded six consecutive months at "the
only first-class hotel in the city, would
have filled a dyspeptics grave in time, had
he not committed suicide one day while
waiting for certified copy of pair of
fried eggs that he had discovered to be of
recent date.
The climate is warm, balny and delight
! full, when it doesn't rain; but the air is full
of brass band, and large feverish posters
that disclose to the waiting populace the
various localities where large, cumbersome
fortunes can be made in one week While
''Snyder's Silver Cornet Band" approaches
from the north, discoursing sixty sweet
strains to the minute of "The Last Rose of
Summer" and bearing aloft, on CORY
banner, the information that 1917 lots in
the beautiful "Lilydale Tract" will be auc-
toned off, with one chance at new brick
house and a free lunch to each and every
purchaser, Dwillinger's double-riveted brass
band, in the midst of a soul-stirring rendi-
ton of "Hail Columbia" approaches from
the south, with a banner assuring the
reader that the only place to buy lots is in
| the "Simkinsdale Tract" The effect pro-
duced is narrowing "The Last Rose of
Summer" aud Hail Columbia" are all
W I'll enough in their way but they should
! be rendered at some distance from each
other, otherwise the foot ensemble becomes
oppressive.
An "Uncle Toms Cabin" procession in
variably gathers in its van winding
string Of the more itinerant advertising
wagons, whose perpetrators are not able to
afford the doubtful luxury of music; but
the statement that real estate firms in Los
Angeles parade the virtues of their re-
spective properties in the rear of funeral
professions, as they pass through the main
streets, is canard, and should be stamped
on with both feet until life is extinct.
| Les Angeles has street-car lines, electric
roads, cable roads, and roads to prosperity.
1t has all modern improvements, including
gas, bath, hot and cold water, etc.
Does man with "ten acres of vineyard
just outside Of the city limits" raise the
luscious grape and juicy orange?
| No, he doesn't. He clears away such
/ TuDUlsH us grape vines ana orange trees,
marks it off into lots 50x100 feet, six-foot
alleys, calls it tract, or an addition to
the city of Los Angeles" and puts it on
the market with brass band and free
lunch accompaniment.
Do the buyers of that addition build
houses on those lots?
No! A thousand times no! They sell
! the lots to somebody else.
Are there many additions to the city of
Los Angeles?
You bet Los Angeles, with its envir-
onments, presents sum in addition that
is very difficult of solution
You can easily ascertain in San Fran
cisco why Los Angeles is destined never to
become a great city; why malaria is ever
present in the Queen City of the Angels !;
and why it doesn't amount to much, as a
city, anyhow.
In Los Angeles you may learn that San
Francisco has damp, malarious, enervat-
ing climate; a mere excuse for harbor
no commercial advantages and it is so
unimportant that it ought to drop part of
its name; while Los Angeles has the most
delightful climate in the world; is Just in
the incipient stage of prosperity; and is
the future metropolis of the Southwestern
portion of the United States.-H L. VII
son, in Puck's Pictorial Gazette