Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1888-06-02
POINTS OF HuMoR.


Dude: Miss. will you allow me "a
accompany you?" Indignant femalel
'Sir, do YOU think for moment"
Dude; '.Me thinkl Good gwac Gus. do
look as II could thinkP-sA messing
Bird.
He: EYES. Miss Ida. I am welded
to INV profession. She with far
away expression aud sighl: How ]
envy your profession. Then they
both blush aud change the subject :
iee's San.
Polite clerk: Would you like to
see some nice ladies' wearP" Old lady
(trom the country; Like to see
some nice ladies swearl No. nor hear
'em. either. Nee ladies never swear.
sir. It's very unnice. "-Isras Syi.
i1gS.
Hedges has dined we'll and has offer
ed his waiter 81. Waiter. in voice
that reaches the desk: mo, sab; we
MT lowed fer ter tex no fees, sab. !"
In voice which does not reach the
desk: "Drap him ON the 10. boss. -
I'D Bits.
Patrick Brady boasts that he has
worked in powdsr-mill over thirty
ears. and has never been killed once.
uness Patrick's reputation for We
racity IS in u critical condition his
statement is likely 80 DO credited. -
NorristoOn Herald.
This is very strange" remarked
Billy Bliven. thoughtful after he had
tasted the contents of his butter dish;
very strange indeed What is
stranger" That such delicate, pale
bu ter shoul turn out 70 be so robust"
-. 4erchant TraUeier.
Did Your son take the valedietory
in college?" said gentleman to lady
who was enthusiastically praising the
ability of her offspring. mo. indeed.
he didn't" she replied with pride. He
didn't take anything. He is the health
lest boy you ever saw. y WaShiagtOs
radio.
L tile Pinkie wanted to 90 out to
play. Her ma said she thought it was
too cold, but she might go out and see.
When she got out in the air the cold
made her eyes water. upon which she
returned and said: 81 dess ii is too
cold. 1t makes my eyes sweat. -Bos.
ton Courier.
Dumley (who has been asked to carve
the duck and is meeting with poor sue.
cess): "Whew" Landlady: isn't the
knife sharp. Mr.. Dumley? had 1t
ground to-day" Dumler: THE knife
is ali ght, Mr.. Hendricks; you ought
to have had the duck ground "-Har-
peT's agar.
Mss Greatbrain (of Boston,: $50
Brother George has got married."
Omaha man: "Yes; il was an elope-
ment; that is WHY the fam ly we're not
notified. '.ls his wife q woman Of in
telIeet?" mo, indeed; pretty as
p cture and as sweet as a peach. -
ON ,ha World.
lie COmte CASTOR d. Orgue de Barbara
(appealing): Madame la comtesse!
How grand eet sound. ees eet not?"
Miss Smith: Really, monsieur 10
comte, l prefer to remain plain Miss
SIN th. :" Le Comto CASTOR, etc:
Plain Mee5 Smeet, mile fos non!
Gay razzer 20 beauteeful Mees Smeel!"
Sli succumbs. It'd Bits.
81 ana told that: sou bought Quimbys
SlO. 200 violin. Is it SOP" Yes"
: What was your idea in doing that?
You can't play | know | can't
"fhen why did you buy it?' We'll,
you know. Quimby lives next door TO
me. What has that to do with it?"
= bought the violin so that he could
pl Y no more. '-LiHcoLn Journal
A Proyencal who was making
ove TO q beautiful woman, find
ny her ind fferent to his addresses,
said to her menacingIy: IF you re-
.Ilse to love me | shall tell all. know
what crime YOU have committed"
What do you mean" exclaimed the
istonislied woman. II know that YOU
rave assassinated a gazelle in order
% steal its G es"-PariS Gau oi5.
Mrs. Penn: "WilIlam. | read an
ADVERT sement in one of the papers
hating that for 81 in stamps the adyer-
User would send by return mail a sure
way 10 get Ri of rats in the house.
hr. Pom: well? Mrs. Penn: II
cent 81 in stamps, w liam. and re-
'siyed an answer" MIR. Penn: what
vas it?" Mrs. Penn: civilian. the
heat told me TO move. -PaiLadeEphtI
JdLk.
Rustic Individual: Did you find the
ishing good. IN ster? De Trouty
opening. basket): ''ren speckIed
Rustic: ''GoshI ant they
Turner's? | reckon they're worth
bout S. a piece" DE Trouty (mod-
stu: Hardly as much as that, I
'uess." Rustic: well. as it hap
ems as how the season doesn' open in
his ere state until the ist of MAY. and
) I'm constable Of this ere town,
hats just what they cost. - owH
70 tcS.