Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1888-04-01
BORAX ON RUNNERS.
A usRLYss CLASS OF CITIZENS SUFFER-
me AND NEGLECTED.
Suggestions for Their Rslief-Exposition or
Mass-Meeting i-False Rumors About
Candidates-convict Labor.
RICHMOND, March 80, 1888.
To the Editor Of The Dispatch:

/ take this opportunity, and about
seventy-five dollars worth OF yourlspace,
10 call the attention OF the public and
the numerous candidates for municipal
Offices to the condition and immediate
prospects, TO say nothing OF the odor, of
a large class OF active and extremely
useless citizens, commonly known as
"bummers. "
l have bad occasion recently to meet,
and smell, and also to look at and con-
verse with, q number OF these accom-
plished citizens, and, considering the
fact that many Of them las they tell mel
control whole precints, wards or, sections
of the city, must say ! think they are
poorly paid and their services and in
tuence undervalued.
Their virtuous and abstemious lives
and their rigid adherence to truth and
honesty are rewarded with poverty and
moral wreck.
Why should life of disinterested toll,
Of lofty aspirations, of patriotic devotion,
late hours, free drinks, anxious figuring
on the returns, wearing study OF social
problems, vigorous smoking of campaign
cigars, devotion to party and all the can
didates who pay up; why. oh why,
should such life bring upon these men
so much more than their full share OF the
sorrows incident to the journey of life ?
Not only do these gentlemen lack the
necessary funds for a belated shave or a
hesitating drink, but they suffer also
from efiuvia. Family Affections cluster
about them freely in the shape of chill
dren who have been scalded, bitten by
dogs, had falls and broken limbs, or are
TO be buried if the necessary funds can
be raised by subscription. l call on all
good citizens to make one final and pro-
longed effort to bury these long-ne-
elected children, many OF whom have
been awaiting burial since the spring
campaign OF two years ago.
l learn from one gentleman whose ex-
perience as a hummer entities him TO
that instant and mistaken belief which
is always accorded the profession that
his children are daily scalded and bit
ten by dogs simply because of his wide
influence as a patriot and statesman.
A few days since one of these gentle
men, in a moment of forgetfulness, re-
duested me to treat his wearied frame to
a drink. but l declined on the ground
that | had no funds. He generously
assured me that his influence and en-
dorsement would obtain credit for me at
a neighboring bar, but | was unwilling
to place myself under such heavy o0i-
cations to a man of such generous i'm
pulses and a breath strong enough, if
well aimed, to produce instant death.
These patriots, Mr.. Editor, must no
longer suffer. Have they not in their
zeal for the public welfare neglected
their families, their debts, and the bath
tub?
There is a sadness pervading the
voices and countenances OF these men
which indicates that the profession
is not a joyous one. They evidently
need light amusement, more solid food,
and washing.
After careful study of the matter |
can find but one distinct difference be-
tween candidates and bummers, which
NAV be briefly stated to be that while
candidates dislike above all things to be
scratched, bummers scratch themselves
with evident satisfaction. Hence the
great difficulty of the effort to please all.
| throw out these few suggestions
without hope of reward, which 1 would
not accept, because it is the principle of
the thing and not the money which l
object to.
In the pursuit of their honorable call
ing these sighted statesmen are neces-
sarily thrown into contact with cor
rupt candidates and a vitiated public,
and are compelled to take hand in poll
tics, and are consequently soiled.
The cold treatment which bummers
receive distresses me. 1t should not be
harsh, but fatal they should not be
avoided and snubbed, but recognized
and killed, that they may experience the
truth Of that saying, Dutce ct decorum
est pro oatria, &c.
WHY not have an exposition, select q
few specimens of genuine bummers, put
them on exhibition, and raise a fund
sufficient to restore them all to their for
mer atfluence?
When it is remembered that these men,
according to their own statements, abso-
lutely control every precinct in the city,
and thus really hold our destiny in their
hands, the importance of prompt mea-
suresin their behalf will be felt. Is there,
then, no remedy? 1 think there is. The
candidates should retire at once and for
ever. The invaluable services and meal
culable influence of the bummers should
be recognized by the bestowal of liberal
pensions upon all who can present salts
factory certificates Of total and ire
claimable depravity, and who will cove
nant to drown themselves for the relief
OF their families.
II there is no other way out OF the
trouble why. not call a mass-meeting OF
representative bummers, let them state
their grievances, and then have free in
terchange of opinions, followed by an
explosion of dynamite properly located.
The expense would be trihing as COM
pared with the result
The question of the lease OF the gas
works has suggested the idea of appoint
ing a receiver and concentrating the gas
OF the bummers there for redistribution.
But others suggest that better results
might be obtained by the direct use Of
all the material as fuel in the present
works. But this method is objected to
on the ground that the product would be
offensive to candidates and fatal to con-
sumers. l am inclined to think that by
maceration and distillatior pure alco-
hol might be obtained which would burn
beautifully and be cheap.
beg leave right here, Mr.. Editor, to
say that few days ago an influential
citizen requested me to assist him to re-
place portion of his wardrobe which
had been worn out in the public service,
and because l declined for lack of means
and faith TO do so, has circulated thereport
that have s0ithdraWn. 1t is useless to
deny rumor 80 absurd.
Please do me the favor to correct an-
other Misrepresentation which originated
with friend of mine who was suffering