Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1888-09-23
A DUDES DILEMMA.
He Couldn't Spell Nsrrsgsnsest, so He Had
to Go 20 Newport to Please the Type
wrtkar


To Go TO Newport to Please the Type
writer.
Philadelphia TiHaes.
The Sc. James Hotel is torn upside down
on account of the many repairs which Cap
tain Conner is having made in that favor
lite hostslry. The resultant confusion has
removed the typewriter's brass-railinged
corner from one Of the Broadway windows
back toward the clerks desk, and tempo
rarily left 10 front of it one of the large
leather-covered settees in which guests oil
the hotel lounge. | was enscoaced q re-
cent afternoon in = corner OF this snug
heaven of rest. My reading was suddenly
disturbed by the voice of some one address.
ing the young woman typewriter. Tue
accent was 80 high and so nearly effsmi-
nate that turned to see whether the per-
son was of masculine or feminine gender.
I foand the speaker was dressed in male
attire. / found sftsrwsrd that he WAS a
Louisville dude aud one Of party Of eight
from Mr.. Watterson's home who had reg
istsred at tho 81. James. He wished the
typewriter to prepare letter to Young
LADY in Louisville informing her that he
would reach the city at certain time and
requesting her to invite 'eight couples" to
q theatre box party which he and friend
desired to give. ''Tell her." he said, in a
high note to the typewriter, only he pro-
nounced the feminine pronoun as though
spelled "hah" Tell her that am pre-
pariug-srranging, you know - getting
ready-ah, fixing my luggage in shape to
20 to Narrsgansett Pier this evening. and
| will be in Louisville about Saturday a
week. Just fix that idea to suit yourself. 7"
mo; we don't do that way" said the
pretty young typewriter, with toss of
her thickly-tressed head. 81 am only
here to do typewriting. Anything you
dictate to me will print on the machine. I"
well, you know am not bit partic-
ular," said the Louisville imbecile; young
lady is not particular, either. Just fix it
up in your own way and it will be all
right"
Evidently the young woman was not
certain of her own powers, for she said {:
mo, we don't do business that way. /
don't compose letters. am only a type
And she looked straight before her with
compressed lips.
well" gasped the youth from Ken
lucky, with a long drawn breath, begin
by saying that 1 sm preparing to 20 to
Nsrrsgansett Pier tonight"
The little rose-tipped fingers played
over the mschine 80 though it were a
piano, aud when in q few moments the
'tip-tsp" music ceased, the maiden re-
peated, in a mechanical way: 81 am pre-
pairing to 90 to-what is the name Of that
placa?'
"Na;ragansstt Pier" replied, in An
abseut-minded way, the young man, who
was evidently mentally struggling with
the further erection of his verbal struct-
ure.
''How do you spell Nsrrsgansett?" asked
the publie's secretary.
The I4ouisvillisu looked at her blsnkly
for y moment and then began: 'N-i-a'-
then he hesitated, and suddenly, ss his
face Frightened with an inspiration, he
exclaimed: mo, that's not right. You
spell il your own way. Just plain Nara
gansett, you know"
~ can't spell it" said the youug woman
decisively, ss she crossed her bands on her
lap.
"wsll, Pm sure 1 can't" replied the
embarrassed correspondent hopslessly.
Neither can l." said the typewriter, in
differently. What will we do about it?'
The maiden appeared "a serene as June
morning. The youths brow was knitted
in what tn him was thought. He was evil
deutly sadly perplexed. Suddenly the
crsases smocthed and his face lighted as be
exclaimed: "I'll tell you what we'll do.
I'll 90 to Newport. You can spell New
port, can't you?"
Had not heard all this myself l would
not believe the narrator Of it.