Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1888-03-02
SnnhEHI1lH
N Autumn idol--the oyster.

:
Thenew Fall bonnets, they say, will
be " shaped. The bills will be XX
shaped.
Did You ever see man with dia-
moitd collar button who did not think
That neckties We're going out of FASH
ion?
A woman I'm Boston stole a cork leg
from crippled soldier. She was bound
to have something new to put OH her
bonnet
Young ladies' now furnish crush
broom to dust the coats of their lovers
where they have laid their pretty pow
dered faces.
Why is baby fed from ten to n dozen
times: n day? Because babies bless
'em, should be filled up whenever they
show symptoms Of ho!lerness."
.Granger-Brcn ishin' all day? Crusty
Old Gentleman : Four hours. sir
Granger-With0ut bait? Crusty Old
Gentleman interruption, sir
A California youth squeezed his girl
30 tight that he broke two of her ribs,
but was cOmfurted when she said: Go
ON, Hank, and bust the other twenty
two"
johnson says it is mighty hard to be
Christian when man has boy who
will ring chestnut bell on him at
family prayers, when it is impossible to
resent it.
a western paper recently noted the
Dndlng Off "lady's skeleton" A lady's
skeleton doubtless differs from q
woman's skeleton in that it has a hoop
skirt and hustle attached.
a poor man with 4 large family or
daughters will lind Washington cheap
place to reside. After they get intro
duced into good society they will not
require any clothes to speak Of.
1t is said 4 woman never quite rorpcts
the man who has Tnce asked her hand
III marriage. Nor does Il man ever for
get the woman whose hand he has asked
III marriage-unless ii is gained.
"Wherc arc We to look for orr rising
young men? Not in the street car, any,
how" exclaimed Mrs. SlIoddy. " No NV
dear" replied MIR $. you will find
them i'll the elevators
What every married man in this coup
try wants is Il trained. ficrce-loukiny
little mouse that will appear whenever
called. 1t will settle family quarrel
in less time than it takes to provoke
one.
"You ought to chew tobacco" said
woul1-he vii toa young lady. al am
astonlshGu. sir Indignantly replied the
lauy. PARDON me, miss. was
prompted tn make the remark when
looked at your fine cut mouth"
Two little boys were discussing the
strength OF Il bee. "lIeran pull moran
Ny" sail one of them. "Well." said
the other, dunno how much he can
pull. but when he backs up to YOU and
pushes. | guess You'll fall back every
time
An enterprising Chicago firm adver-
tise "undrcsspd kids of a superior anal.
ity, nj from 81 upward" Ii would seem
rs II modesty would compel the dealer
to throw III Il nigiigowl or something.
nut PERTAINS the price. is so low he can.
not afford tn dress them.
Tho manufacture Of wine from oranges
hsderelopinG into very extensive indus
arySn Florida.
1t is said TINT therc is no part of tho
moons visible surfuoe half IL milo square
that is not accurately mapped while the
VI SpbthiNo MulUu
hnyo never yet been surveyed.
What is claimed to be an original wnter
color portrait of Washington, painted on
ivory 1756. by J. Lacon, owned in
Springfield, Mass, is offered to tho
Government for the modest little sum of
G2j0.O00
The interesting discovery Inns boon
made i'll Switzerland of bright green
moss growing OH calcreOus rocks 200
feet below the surface of Lake Leman.
No other moss has been known SO dcop
under water.
The available coal of Alabama, col
lectcd into one lump. would be fortv-five
miles long by twenty-five miles wide by
ten feet thick. A breaking of of 5000
tons daily from tho lump would leave n
large part of it untouched at tho expira-
ton of 5000 years.
A Japanese with an income of $1,000 a
year Is considered n wealthy man, and n
farmer who has 500 laid by is ranked
among tho capitalists of his district In
all the empire. out of n population OF
$1,000 600, there are less than 10000
laupcrs
1t has been indically decided in New
jersey that kissing the book" is not a
necessary part of an oath in court This
isn sensible decision. The net of kissing
the Bible is q piece of fetsliism and
superstition that adds nothing to the
responsibility OF II legal oath.
tramp has contilcd to MI Omaha re.
Sortcr that in order that his hands NAV
Ie callousel like those OF n Workman
he carries hickory stick which he srasps
and twists as.he walks, thus keeping his
hands III condition to deceive any
justice before whom lie may be arraigned
us vagrant
a conscientious gambler in El Paso,
Texas. Oail tl,p CITY eIf -, five 1....:.-