Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-03-07
4a9yEMsg89AsE has revolutionized the wo
HI II RMTliIN during the last half centu
LII S3M tBkg Not least among the wond
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.


called reliquary, ought not an antiq-
nary to be one who delights in antics?
EVERY man has his weak spot"
and sometimes a man finds out that an
ace high is his weak Boston But
,etin.
Who is that manP'' Hes the
servant of old Smith, the undertakes"
''Ah! then he's the valet of the shadow
Of death. '-IoWa Topics.
The more faithfully girl keeps q
diary the more religiously she wants to
keep it out of the way of every body else
in the neiehborhood.
Earrings are relic of barbarism,
unless, of course. the diamonds are I'M
usually white and fine and cost a good
deal more than anybody's else in the
congregation.
An engagement ring on the finger
of young lady is apt to be made con-
spicuous by the wearer. 1t is the same
way with a scalp worn by an Indian in
his belt.-N O. PScayuaae.
THAT was an exhaustive article of
mine on Our Political Future said
the contributor to the editor Il foun(
it So was the somewhat unsatisfactory
reply. Washington Critic
-'.How is that feud between Colonel
Blood and Major Bluegrass getting on?
Are they as bitter as ever?" 80, no;
the whole thing is happily ended. "
I'm glad 70 hear that y Eyes, they
killed each other. Life.
The toboggan slide is dangerous to
people having heart troubles" that is,
to old. married and settled people. The
youthful among the afflicted can yen-
ture down the slide and toll up it with
comparatively safety. Vsrse-
gard Herald.
Wilson, the celebrated vocalist
was upset one day in his carriage near
Edinburgh A Scotch paper, after re-
cording the accident, said, 1--WE are
happy to state he was able to appear
the following evening in three pieces. "
Some people sigh all their ives
for wealth and never get it. Other peo-
pie work hard for it all their lives and
never get it. The best plan is to invent
suspender button that will stay O.
and keep the agency yourself. Sooner
vilLe Journal.
IF you see one cold and vehement
at the same time set him down as a
fanatic SAYS Chrvsostom; and yet 1t
may be that he is only the ledger IN
third pair back, whose landlady. has
cut off the heat from his little room be-
cause he was necessarily behindhand
with his rent.-Journol of Education.
-Smith-.That paragraph in the
Dasly Hoaoler touched you up rather
severely, yesterday" Brown-''O, yes;
/ don't mind that, however. The world
will always contain fools, you know. "
Yes. suppose so. If there wer. nc
fools there wouldn't be anything for
those fellows to write about l sup
pose"
Chicago Editor Cooking over paper
lust out)-"Here. Mr.. Proofreader
you've let a gross error get into thu
paper. Proofreader-"W What's that?'
Editor-"Why. | wrote, They are
devoted couple and you have got
They are divorced couple. . Pro-
reader-'WeH, let it 90. 1t will rea
all right tomorrow. - Washingto
Critic.
Health Resorts. First Doctor
"Busy?" Second Doctor-''Ycs, almos
worked to death. y $50 am |. 1t WI
be two months before the people re
turning from their health -;seft ting TRIP
will quit sending for the doctors.
That's fact If it wasn't for rhes
heSlth resorts we would have to so OF
OF business. "-TerdS SJtin3S.
Sour grapes
Thought her the fairest of creatures
The day our acquaintance began,
But learned very plain was her features.
Ere time had marked out year span;
For you you see mans vision dotn clarity so
When his suit is denied by maidel .irH no
-5ostoa Budget