New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1888-07-11
CURR d "

l 2
Little Mr.. 0 We have been
married foive years an more, an it's.
divil a cross word to me ould woman
have [ spoke yit! Big Mrs. O'Flynn
If yez did, it would be ther last.
word yez would iver speak!
Miss Cooington-And when we are
married, dear, I hope you won't
smoke those horrid, odious cigars
around the house. Mr.. Billingt on
Why, no, darlingl think a pipe is.
much more homelike; don't you?
An Allentown tailoring firm en-
pioyes q young woman to collect
from the swell customers who are In
clined to shrink paying honestdebts.
This seems to explode the old saving
that WOman's work is never dun.
A little girl was walking along the
street with her mother, and, noticing
a negro woman wheeling a white ba-
by in q, carriage, said: Mamma, is
that baby that woman's child?''
IVY ny, no, | guess not. Why do you
ask?o "Well, if it's hers, think she
had dreadful poor taste. Why didn't
she get a baby to matcha'
Here's an account of buildin'
that fell down, an ev'ry one in it
was taken out alive. Old Mrs. Bent
i ly (knitting) oh. nv. how dreadful
Every one taken out alivel Dear,
dear! Old Mr.. Bently looking sharp
~ over his spectacles) -Huh2 Epoch.
Five cents fare for that child,
madam, " said a street car conductor
as he opened the door and put his
head into the car. Very well, 3 she
replied, feeling in her pocket; sssthis is
an orphan child and [ am its guard
ian. [ must have a receipt for all
moneys paid out, and as soon as
| you write one I'll drop nickel in the
box" He shut the door and leanded
over the brake like a man in deep
Thought.
Getting His Moneys WORTH
Dealer-ssThat hats worth two dol
lars and half, but I will let you, as
la friend, have it for two dol
lars. { BroWn-''All right; but, say,
the fifty cents goes with the hat,
don't it?"
Bobby Whose uncle has given him
a dollar)- wish you would give me
a nickel, Uncle James. instead of a
dollar.''
Uncle James (astonished) - But,
Bobby, adollar is better than a nick
| ell
chats the trouble; fits a dollar
pail want it; if it's only a nickel, I
can have it. Epoch.
Harsh treatment-Bobby Cook
ing out of the window -s'sWhat's the
matter with that horse, mamma?''
Mother'-ssThe horse is balky, Bobby;
he won't obey his driver Bobby
well, what's the man patting him
for?' Mother 'Heis coa1ing him.
Bobby with an injured air That
amt the way you treat me when I'm
balky.'-Life
/ A great many people are content
with very little gossip, and that
little goes a long way with them.
They remind us ofthe old collored man
in ante-bellum times. His pious
mistress, one beautiful Sabbath morn
ing, when there was preaching in the
nelghborhood, suggested that he
shouldgo to church and hear Brother
| w. preach. "Missus,' replied he, II
hain't forgot what he said when
was dar last. When / forgit all dat
/ Use gWine back and get more. y.
/ ''Fain would I write poem on the
delights of fishing; but, ah, me!
cannot find a word to rhyme with
Sangleworm.' sighed Pisistratus," as
| he gazed thoughtfully into the dark,
sullen waters. ssBut why must you
| put that word at the end of a line?
/ ,queried Eucalyptus. Because an
dHSS lew OTll is always at The end OF q
line, " Kissed Pisistratus between his
set teeth; and for a long time it was
SO still that one could distinctly hear
q peach blow.
/ Martha" said a minister to his
wife, 81 have some sad news to break
to you, and you viii need all your
courage to bear the burden of the
crushing and unexpected blow 20,
John, she exclaimed, and we have
been SO happy in our home and chill
drenls Il know it, Martha,, he re
/ sponded, hoarsely, but whom the
Lord loveth he chasteneth. ssJohn.
dear, she said with true Wifely cour-
| age and devotion, s'ten me what it
is; let me share it with YOU "a do
nation parity
Sister Jenkinson," said the new
minister, who was soliciting contri-
buttons for the heather, don't you