The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-04-21
AN AMBITIOUS DAY DREAMER.
New York Press.


 ''I only wish I was one of them lit erary fellows who roll up column after column in the newspapers. l bet you I could write up some of the biggest sensations that ever appeared in print, if only had the knack ot singing ink" observed 6 sallow com plexioned waiter who brings coffee and crullers to the hungry in an up- town ten-cent hostelry.
 "For example: The other evening, or should say morning, for 1t was nearly one o'clock, things were get ting slack, and I had just stepped into the kitchen to takea little nap, hsv- ing worked for thirteen hours steady. Pretty soon I fell asleep, wrapped In the arms ot Morpheus How's that for high jump into the realms of the sublime?
 "Well, as I started to say, the god of rest had just got me under his in- tluence, when l dreamed, and in my dreams l thought I was dead, and, con- trary to my expectations, going heav- onward instead of the direction of the antipodes. kept moving upward, I knew not how, for felt between my shoulder blades, but could find no pinions there. Feeling confident that l was on the right track l sang out, q am coming, am coming and then heard the heavenly choir respond, He's coming, he's coming Yes, 1t was fact; l was coming, and got there seemingly in a few moments afterward, but not inside.
 "The same gate was there used to hear grandmother tell about when was little boy, with Peter on guard.
 " Am I wanted herep' I suggested to the gate keeper.
 "'Come out into the light until get good look at the color of your skin, and then can tell better, an- swered tho old gentleman.
 'I did as l was told, and when l got in position where he could see me without spectacles, he said in a seemingly tired manner: It's just as thought. Don't you recollect, while on your upward journey. having en- deavored, in accordance with the sub limity of the occasion to sing, I Am Coming?"
 "' Yes,' replied, T distinctly re- member trying to sing "I Am Con- ing" but you are the first person who ever had the good sense to characterize my singing as an endeavor'
 "sWell, continued Peter, ,'as 1 started to remark, it's just as expected. You see, there Is little admiration society up here that's been looking for old Black Joe for the past twenty five years. He is always coming to them, but am sorry to say he hasn't got here yet. Young man, you had better go back and make your second appear ance on earth, and when you get there give every one you know pointer, that, when they are ready to die, not to finally soar up here with that beau tiful but superannuated melody,"I Am Coming" It has grated on my ear drums so many times that my hearing is well nigh impaired.
 "'You would also be doing me great favor, ifyou happen to meet Old Black Joe filling out an engagement with some materializing medium, to break his contract and get up here as lively as possible, or he will have to seek other quarters.
 "'I am getting sick and tired of that old ohestnut-so gitp
 "I got, of course, and it seemed as if were making somersaults, cart wheels and various evolutions in my aerial descent. when all of sudden I heard a voice shouting:
 "Yosef, ist you gomin'?'
 "No, ain't coming,' replied, re- membering the admonition of Peter. but suddenly opening my eyes and realizing for the first time in three hours where was.
 "Den af you dondt make init me some business you had better git right owdt, und dat is 30, too! Ven you be reddy init yourself to attendt to der business bring owdt ein plate of Frankfurters init inyuns und sour- kraut, booty kvick.'
 "Oh, how I do wish was in the newspaper business again." remarked the waiter. "Why, do you know have got the eccentric imagination of an opium smoker?" and he laDguidly brushed few pie crumbs from one of the tables.
 Had he referred to his complexion instead of his imagination he would have come nearer the truth, for just at that moment voice was heard to em- anate from the smoky recesses of the kitchen saying:
 "Yosef, of cotch you smokin' init dot opium bipe again, vunce, I'll drow yon und dot bipe on der sidewalk, und don't you forgot it."
 The Tide of Travel.