The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-20
A GOLDEN EGG BUT No GOOSE.
A Womans Experience and Success
with Poultry Farm.
From the Neo York Graphic


weeks it seemed to me that every man,
woman and child in the United States had
at some time lost . fortune in similar cyl
terpriSes, judging by the recital OF failures
poured into my unprotected ear. However,
| looked about and observed that grocers,
dry goods firms, bankers and even stock
SPECTATORS were not always exempt from
financial disaster, though no one would
dream Of calling them visionary. Further
more | noticed hat in this ole branch OF
industry, at least, the market was not over
supplied. There were not enough hens; that
was evident. Even a high tariff could not
protect their combined efforts. Foreign
competlt on began, and soon the country
was deiuged with eggs for "scramohng,"
or rather eggs that could scramble them
selves. The thing mus tie stopped or the
dsheartened feathereC natives would emil
CRATE.
Convinced of my duty and proud of my
foresight began ope atoms, purchasing
piece of ground. twelve hens and two stall
wart ROSTERS; excellent opponents OF the
advantages of Mormonism. Every Idle
moment was given up to the perusal OF
poultry literature. Tail coverts, shanks,
hackles, waytles and ear lobes formed my
familiar vocabulary. In turn, my small
flock suffered from quack remedies for
imaginary diseases. However, as this was
productive of no fatal disaster, imposing
buildings soon indicated that my business
was increasing, and advertised the fact that
| anticipated untold wealth, My mistakes
were many, but they were made with only
a few chickens, and hence by the time |
counted hundreds, instead of tens, the bill
for experience had been paid and receipted.
Flushed with enthusiasm determined to
become professional breeder of thorough
bred poultry" This may read like high
sounding phrase, but no words are
sufficiently grandlloquent to describe the
swagger ard buncombe involved in the
exhibition OF fancy fowl Pints of glycerlne
applied to the combs and legs; quarts OF
hempsee5i to ensure glossy feathers, and,
according to Mark Twain, pounds OF lead
to guarantees necessary weight. Then the
yards of blue satin ribbon for TIE ornament
ing of the coopS, and finally, the premium
cards, framed as the superlative of decora'
ton. But pray DO not imagine that my
triumphs as a successful breeder terminated
without maximum of sentiment, for on
the co ltrary the blue bow must have been
tied III true lovers KnOt-a bona tide offer
Of marriage being the outgrowth.
To he sure, this crown of admiration was
laid at my feet by a gentleman who persls-
tently wore a silk hat and linen d Ster at
nine o'clock of January morning. 1t is,
alas true, that his collars and cuffs were of
celluloid and that his greeting was more
cordial than ceremoniouS. Nevertheless, |
dared not wholly reject his suit for at any
moment cholera might break out IN my
yards and might find it extremely provl-
dent to remove TO another farm.
AT this period of my career the mania for
incubators became contagious. | speedily
caug the malady and decided that would
relieve my faithful hens of a burden and
provide artificial mothers. With this end
in view, never having myself experienced
the JOYS or tormentS of maternity, | could
not appreciate the suggested cruelty of this
substitute | resolved to run a machine
secretly, away from the curious world until
its involved inventions were thoroughly
mastered by me- Icould not afford to appear
ignorant about anything thus electrlfying
my business.
W mere should | first light that flame
which was to warm 100 future brolerS into
present life! But one place seemed possible;
my own bedroom Think of the advantages
it afforded and without visible effort. Day
and night could watch the vitaliZing pro
cess undisturbed, and | watched it, let me
assure you. Sleep was out of the question.
The ventilators were either opening when
they should close or closing when they
should open. But what was my rest COM
pared to the animating Interest at stake?
At length the twenty-f1rst day dawned In
vain listened for the Intoxicating peeping
so elocuently described in the prospectus.
No wonder that | could not detect it, for the
cry of seven Sickly birds is hardly the
chorus one expects from the throata of a
hundred Yesl Seven puny, deformed 81 lcks
were all that this perfect hatcher brought
forth.
OF course the proprietor Of the machine
sent me more reasons than l Id had eggs
to prove why the other ninety-three had
ob5tinately remained in their shells, and in
Justice | must say that, as | have raised
thousands since out of this same incubator,
take it for granted that at the time re
ferred to my cultivation had not reached
its zenith Soon my barns were fillei with
peHty-of hens and eggs, and | began to
place the superfluous produce. At the small
cost of halt a dollar / bought a stamp
which pressed authoritatively upon eacn
egg the date OF its b ing laid. Then attrac-
tive boxes, holding dozen, were temptlng y
dis2layed upon the coulter at a fashionable
fruit store, arreSting the attention of certain
ladies whose chefs and buffers insisted
upon fresh eggs, even at the high price OF
sixty cents for every twelve. Those from
the grocer around the corner were exactly
as fresh, you know, but then the Long
Island agriculturist who supplied them had
not caught on to the value of that tiny
printing stamp, an ignorance which, should
he some day realize, will add one more
grave to the family cemetery, for the
worthy tiller of the sol in the neighborhood
of Jamaica or Jericho does not relish a
vanishing point connected with possible
gain.
And what shall I chronicle Of those visits
paid to the renowned Bucks county farmers,
who if we believe their statements, are the
real humanitarians OF this age, daily ship
ping crates Of poultry simply to delight the
palate of the civilized community, for these
men are not covering theii expenses9 No!
They rank with the d alaware peach-grower,
whose crop proverbiaily fails, and with the
owner of an ice company, who annually
assures his customers that not once duriJ <
the season has the mercury fallen to 'freeZ-
ing"
However, in spite of vexations and vicis-
STUDIES frankly confess that ] have coined
money from my golden egg. Upon an
originally invested capital of $1,000 have
made ID per cent. the first year, % per cent.
the second and 80 per cent. the third /;
this beyond all expenses and improvements.
At the moment of writing my poultry are
in splendid condition. ! have learn d all
''the tricks of the trade land these are
many, and am not yet reduced to the
expedient of marrying cellulold-collar,
hnen-duster young man.
SUPERSTITION IN THE SENATE.
Senators Averse to Riding Behind a
White Horse.
a. Tou;s,yyJ. To.,rfar-