Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1888-01-14
4 CL-AH CASE.

y
CI-AH CASE.
"Young man." said the physician,
imprcssively, ''yoUr symptoms Indicate
fatty degeneration ot The heart. ;.
81 presume t.: y DO, io'.or." replied
the y5I.h, drj'>tt lly. II an engaged
to a young w.-um who weighs 3li
pouni..-CAtrlgo T-i1pa,.
MAKING Hay.
"You 81 IN to he cnioying yourself.
Bobby" said olc Of thc guests NJ a din
ncr party.
Yes" asscutcl Bobby, with his
mouth full. "Im maxim thc mes; cf it,
SCARED.
Afreicht clr mb Id "?ovl"r," stand
j ~ at PlilIpslurgh for two days. ere
"a L mueh apprehension and people
s'rmncI il. Wh.n opcurl, however,
= VS. seen 20 coAtrin h'rrrls of apples.
" barrels wcrc rs fail ao when they
10y, ahippel.
Nil, S. Why, Mary. to'd you t.
make ~ M; room an hour ago, and
l:,rr II is in terrible disorder:
Mary-Yjs, MUM, an' dill make it
IN; but tllc inasicr came il to put on IL
c,are collar, MUM. and l.e lost the bat
Ton. .-L...ocj.
SOc NJ ':;ssARY.
Husband (at late hrcahfasD-My
dear, dill yoI 20 through my pockets
before | 60: NJ. thi, morning!
Wifc-No; thoa@ht from the condi-
ton you were in when you cam" homo
last night tha. il would hardly warrant
the truublo.
4 QUANDARY.
Husband (who has Il little Engage
mcnt' on haldl-l shall be at the office
very late tonight, my dear, posting my
bool.s, and you hai bctt-r not sit up
for me.
Wifc-Very well, John. When get
ready to 60 to bed I'll Just say good
night 10 you through the telephone.
THE VOYAGE OF LIFE.
First College Student-Yes, George,
my mind is made up; fame first, wealth
next. then marriage.
Second College Student-I disagree
with you, John. Ny plan is wealth
first, thea the achievement of fame will
be easy enough. After that marriage.
Ten years later.-Gcorge-Say, John,
stop moment.
John.-In big hurry, George. Old
Doctor Blank won't come again until
his bill is paid, and I'm hunting for an
other. All tie children have the measles.
Anything / can do for you.
Yes, John; lend me n nickel to buy
safety -pin.-OmrM World.
TAIL ENOUGH.
.You must remember, my daughter,
YOU are only little girl. l can't think
of letting you Wear long dresses yet"
"But, mamma, | am as tail us you
are"
They measure.
"Srrc enough. my child, You arc.
How fortunate, Nov yoa can hang out
the washing just as well as l can."-
Chicago -Ne'cs.
SPECIAL -i.RMS.
New Member G Washington hotel
cierk)-What are your regular terms!
Clcrk-Four dollars day, sir; pay
able weekly.
New Memb"rs-You have different
rates for members, of course!
Clerk Yes. sir. -Four dollars q day
in advance. Ere. SnH.
FASuIoEABr-l NOTE.
Jobbs-I SEE tina. stripes ere very
much worn this season.
HoJbs-Oh, yes. But not SO much
as they would have been if the Court Of
Appeals hadn't interfered. y. Star.
HEARTEENDING SCENE.
MY dear" said laly to her mill
ionaire husband, Il have some dread
full news to break i you. You must
summon all Your fortitudc for the sake
of your wifc and children
''Spcak, lie said, lioarsely.
"Thc coal is ont
"Grea: heavens. has It come to thisl"
and the mill:onaircbJ ycd his head and
wept.
TOO MISTRUSTFUL.
"What l1ci. did yo1 have mt the farm
house :" asked one tramp oi another.
"Nonc ut all The woman was too
blamed mistrustful."
"IIow was that 2
"Whcn | asked her for something to
at she asked me if / coJll saw wood.
| told her / could"
'.Ycs, what them
"Why, I'll he dog g-goncd il she didnp
want me to prove it. "-Nerchant T'rac-
Ner.
He had inst come from the East and
was putting on good d"al of style.
Finally he Was waited on one night
by lot OF cowboys, one of whom said:
There's tendcrsoot in town, and We
. re going TO show him life in the West"
"Gentiemen," lie said, 81 was bazcd
t college"
The cowboys SUNK away one by one.
-Tcris H-',ings.
RATHER HAVE HER SISTER.
4 Scotch Presbyterian minister who
married q couple Of his rustic parisho-
ncrs felt exc ie,iing!y disconnected on
ll:s asking the BRIDEGROOM il he We're
willing to ta'lc the woman for his wife
by his scratching his head aud saying,
"Ay, I'm wullin', bat I'd rather hae her
sister. cr.-Thtstie.
SC9iEROCS FAMILY.
Mrs. Snitl, to Mrs. Jones servant
rirl-Wi.at DO you want.