The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-03-08
of the mallet.intcrrupted his search, ,ani
the reDOrter seized mis- npnciI

OF the mallet.interrupted his search, ,anj
the reporter seized mis- pencil,
Ladies. she began, you will please
come to Order-Why how do you do
Mrs. Squeal! I'm glad to see you look
ing so well after your concert-WalteI
will you close that window? 1t blows
right on Mrs. Brainley-Don't move
Mrs. Dryasdust. He can get in back OF
your chair-Heavens! how awkward he
is! Now don't YOU try to do il, Mrs.
POke-There! Why couldn't he have
done it in the first place?-We will now
proceed to business All, l had not seen
you before, Mrs, Flighty, l hope you
didn't forget to bring in your report
this morning. II you dId, l shall scold-
As president of this society, may scold
all please! Now, the first business be-
fore the meeting is the discussion Of
Your husband, Mrs, Veneer, wonted me
to ask you'll met him just a moment
before came inf you would go into
the drug store-l've really forgotten
what drug stOre--snd ask if he left
Well, I've forgotten that, too, but
shall think of it before the meeting is
over. If | shouldn't remind me of it,
please-Now, Ladies, please come to or
der-Oh, before we proceed to business,
want to say word concerning a sim
liar society that has been recently or
g4nizAd in Italy. You know something
about it, Mrs. Gadabout, you have just
come from Rome. think it would be
pleasant for Mrs. Gadabout to tell us
something about it, but not today, per
haps, but at our next meeting. Is il
your pleasure, ladies, that Mrs. Gada
bout give US her impressions on this
subject! All in favor please signify il
IN the usual manner. 1t is a vote. Mrs.
Gadabout can tell you much better than
| can, although l was in Rome at the
time of its organization and did what |
could TO rescue several mosquitoes that
bloOdthrsty wretches were pursulng
with wet towels and other iniquituus
instruments of torture. You were there,
Mrs. Softly, when Miss Wiseacre read
her poem, To Winged Aerial Band
tor the benefit of the sOciety-Boy. bring
some chairs up here-Now, Mrs. Suber
sides, wont you come forward where
you will be out of that dreadful draught?
! wonder we don't all get our deaths.
Now that you are here, can you tell me
If Mrs. Golightlys baby is dead? |
wonder if she has the same doctor that
Kate had for little Jessir?-Oh, very
sad indeed if-Mrs Veneer | have Just
recOllected that it was a laundry bill
that your husband wanted you to look
for, and believe now that he wasn't
just sure where he lost it, Now, ladies
will you please come to order? All, DR..
Bughear, we are very, very glad to see
you. We want to thank you for your
brilliant affArf in hnh,,Ic ~ Al
Legislature. We extend vote of thanks
10 you, do we not, ladlesE for your ex-
cGedingIy brave defence of our bill,
Shall mosquitoes be taxed?'-in the
House. Oh, and mustn't forget to men.
tion that since we met have received a
very liberal donation from an unknown
friend, OF course, | know her name,
but she doesn't want it known just now.
You could easily guess Miss E -,
but there, | promised not to tell! sup.
pose it will get out: such things always
do, and in the most myster GUS man
ner.
small boy enters. very muddy and
showing other signs of having seen ac
tive service. He passes an envelope to
the presiding officer, who seizss it and
opens it.
This is for me ladies, and If you will
excuse me, | will read it. | appoint
Mrs. Sobersides presiding officer pro
tenn,
But the reporter waited no longer
He closed his note book and crept silent
away, When he reached the street he
appeared to be dazed, he looked wild,
and his steps were uncertain. He was
found seven hours later at a well known
hostelry. but still conscious. 1t was too
late for his verbatim report; the paper
has gone TO press without il! There
was news enough, however, to justify
the publication of the paper.