Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-06-30
JUGGLING WITH WORDS.
By WALT. HOBLIf.

n
ment, resolved to disgrace his customer
by exposing him to his friends the very
next time he gave one of those large
dinner parties which so excited the
creditors ire.
Accordingly one evening, Mr.. Boot
maker, attiring himself in his Sunday
suit, and with his little bill elegantly
vii ten OUT, waited till the carriages
had set down their burdens and de-
parted, stalked up the doorsteps like a
vengeful ghost, and ringing the bell
furious!y, found it opened with start
ling CELEBRITY, and stood face to face with
Il tall servant. Whit gloved and stately.
"W here's Mr.. Skinner" whispe. ed
the bootmaker.
"Gcntlemen's dressing-room, second
floor back" responded the servant.
Some one else had arrived, and was
treading closely on his heels. A vision
of splendor, in the most wonderful soft
white wraps, tloated past him.
81 aides, front room, second floor
| gentlemen, blci," repeated the ser'-
! ant.
Mr.. Bootmaker was hustled forward,
| hat in hand. and saw his delinquent
| debtor i'll all the elegance of dress coat,
! button-hole flower, and white cravat,
| bowling to, shaking hands with, and
| smiling upon aristocratlc perSonages
innumerable.
The sight famed anew the flame of
the BRIDESMAIDS Just wrath.
He marched forward, planted him.
! self directly before the elegant Mr..
| Skinner, and stared him in the face.
But Skinner did not shrink. He
knew his guest well enough, and I'M
| derstood his purpose; but what he did
say was, Beg pardon; for the moment
I've forgotten your name
Have you? Then perhaps you'll
remember me when L tell you that
made your boots," responded the boot
| maker.
Now, if you'll trouble yourself to
repeat those last four words rapidly,
YOU will find that YOU do not say, as
you believe you do, L made your
boots" but Il major boots"
The lucky skinner detected this fact
on the instant.
Major Boots" he cried, demon.
stratively, shaking hands. Dear, dear
how could | forget you for moment
Delighted to see you-delighted. Mrs.
Ginger, let me introduce you to my
old friend, MAJOR Boots"
go glad to know you, responded
the old lady thus introduced. "Pm
sure I've heard Cousin Skinner speak
of YOU thousand times. Sit down,
do, and tell me who all those people
are. I'm quite stranger, I've iso-
lated myself in Europe so long. Sit
down, Major Boots; here is chair"
The newly christened bootmaker
! hesitated a moment, but it was not
possible for him to cry out, "Im not
Major Boots; Pm Grab, the boot
maker, come for my bill" He found
he had not the courage. He crammed
his hat under the velvet chair to which
he was motioned, and subsidized into
went on.
"Oh, Major, always feel so glad
when | have the opportunity to talk
to q military mani | adore courage.
And were you ever wounded? Do tell
me all about it"
The bootmaker, finding it necessary
to reply, said that he never had been
| wounded.
And the old lady went on: "Never
How charming! Bore a charmed life,
and all that sort of thing. Do tell
me all about it"
The bootmaker replied that "there
was nothing to tell"
On which that most gushing of old
ladies cried: "NOw, Major, | won't be.
lieve that. It's like the modesty oil
| won col alro oil ,,ilitorv MAN kpou,
you stormed redoubts and led forlorn
hopes, and We're the only one left OF
your regiment, and all that I'm sure
| read all about it at the time. Oh,
here is Col. Freize, celebrated officer;
did something awfully brave in India.
Colonel, let me make you acquainted
with Maj. Eoots, one of our brave It
military men. He's been telling me all
about the wonderful things he did in
the army. [ mean he wouldn't tell me
about them just like all you great
men-won't trouble himself to fight
his battles over for an old woman"
"Aw-awfulIy charmed, Pm sure, re-
sponded the gallant Colonel. "Aw.
fully, avn Must introduce you to my
brother, Capt. Freize, in the same
we9iment with myself"
The bootmaker had risen, and was
looking down on his business suit.
Il didn't intend to that is, | didn't
expect to be at such a swell affair as
this" he stammered, cor II sho i'd
have worn my dress suit"
"Oh, my dear fellow, we always ex.
pect you officers to be wough and
weady. We'd LIE disappointed if you
| /