Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-01-31
KNOTT'S FUNNY SPEECH.
THE KENTUCKY CONGRESSMAN TELLS
THE STORY Of HIS INSPIRATION.
4 Serious. Grafton Prepared but Never
DeIiverrd-A Lobby ist', Wonderful Map
of Duluth Leads to u brilliant Display
Of congressional Humor.

The red her,iic which runs from the
Capitol 10 the White House was full the
other day. and u stocky. rurtly, short man
hung ou bN the strap. He was cold and
his round head was well wrapped in
green wooden comforter and his plug hat
was pulled well down over hi. brow. His
face only shnne. but IL looked ike piece
of rare china The color was as rosy rs
the most nurid Of Rubcns' paintings. and
the ewes shouc out through white winkers
as blue ~ midsummer sky. \ short
moUstache cf silver was the only sign Of
whiskers. and the fac. was rs round .ud
a, full a> that of the moon. He smiled rs
| asked him whether the day was a~ cold
"a those Of Duluth. II was Proctor Knott,
Of Kentucky, whose funny speech on Du-
iuth some fifteen years ago made him
famous, and who is now visiting Wash
lngi on and hobnobbing with his old con-
gressional friends. am told his speech
still sells. ard | saw some of these Duluth
speeches recently AZ II second hand book
store, and was told they We're WORTH u
quarter apiece.
Proctor Knott hid no idea at the time
that this speech was going 10 make his
reputation. and il was an inspiration
" III ~ INV 'iiiiN. iic
told me the story. He said. 1T was near
the close Of the session. and | was asked
to speak on the land subsidy hill in the
house. l prepared a sober Grafton. with
no more fun in Its points than in the
moral law. and il was nearly as long. l
tried TO get the speakers eye. and when
the bill Was about passing Holman Was
preferred before me asked him To give
ms. his rtUlt u, p,s nn.r s,r. r,a,-t of hi.
time He told III. he could not do it. At
last spoke 10 the speaker and he said he
thought he could arrange TO give me u
hearing.
No IDEA OF HUMOE
This WAS several days before the
speech was made, and l had no idea u
humor as yet. \ day or so later a lobby
list called upon me and told me that a bi!l
wonld soon come up to improve the har-
Dor of Duluth. l asked him To tell ME
where Duluth WAS. | knew. Of course,
its situation, but | wanted him To under
stand that thought but little Of his bill
and he thus able I" refuse his request.
He did not see my irony. but he put his
hand in his breast pocket and pulled out
4 map. Here was the whole civilized
world drawn in circles. and these circles
grew smaller and smaller until NJ last
they terminated in n dot at tie center. and
on that dot was printed the word Duluth
These were hundred mile circles and the
distances Of all the great cities of the coun-
try were noticed, and their small dots
looked like hamlets compared with Duluth
TOloOk at that map you would suppose that
if you wanted to 20 tn Liverpool, London
or ConStantin"ple you'd have first TO go 10
Duluth for Your start, auGou the map were
printed statistics '.howinG that there were
2.Hpnd1 square miles about that point
all tributary 10 Duluth. The bland young
man delivered his eulogy of this mighty
embryonic city, aud Is,aw rs he did 20
the chance for some fua in the house. !
asked him 10 leave the map, and said that
| lived on "a little creel in Kentucky, aud
that most of my people had never seen u
ship. He did this, ana he suspected
nothing. saving: MIR Knott, hope Won
will study that map. and 20 for our bin
II replied, L will .o it, but | never saw
him again. As thought more over the
matter the fun grew upon me. and found
that | could make ny speech on the land
bill and bring III Duluth. | went 10 the |
library and prepared some Of the best /
parts OF the htmo-, and intended il only !
rs an iutroduct on Ia my more sober I
speech. When ] got the floor found the 1
house with me. md when my time was |
extended | Cnud not 90 up from the /
ridiculous tn tbs sublime. | went On with |
the humor aUi dropped the serious !
GRAFTON. and IN. speech over which l had /
spent days "f Ebor was never delivered. I
The greater p;rt Of tie humorous speech /
was the result Of the inspiration OF the ,
moment, ans while | maize it | never |
thought that it would put the country /
upon brnm grin. was as,unish.,l the /
nrXt day roiind every one taking about .
il and that ali my friends ut the CAPITOL (!
congratulated me upon it.'-Frank G.. !
Carpenter II New York World