The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1888-08-03

70 one Of Smiths friends and said.
y friend is pretty full The
rlend said he was trying to get
smith to go to bed, So the clerk
SAID TO Smith, Guess Q better %
70 bed" Smith raised his head
pulled the umbrella around and laid
y on the register, and said it was only
elght o'clock, and he didn't want TO
60 TO bed The clerk looked cit smith
ana the umbrella, which was collapsed
All over the counter, and thought II
was the saddest case he had seen.
People gathered around and looked al
the umbrella and Smith, and Thought
ne must have been out in a cyclone Of
peer. One of the friends asked the
CLERK TO call a porter and put Smith TO
bed. The bell was rung, and Joe. the
porter, was instructed to show the
gentleman to his room. Joe saw the
umbrella and winked at the clerk, as
much as to say he had dealt with a
good many such guests in his time,
and he took Smith by the arm and
told him he had better come along
quietly to bed, and he would feel bet
ter In the morning. Smith said he
felt well enough, and did not want to
90 10 bed, but Joe took hold of his
arm, and at a nod from the clerk be
urged Smith along towards the eleva-
tor, the umbrella hanging all over, the
RIBS sticking against Joe, catching on
the elevator door and running into the
elevator mans coat. Smith sat down
IN the elevator, put the point of the
umbrella on the floor, when it turned
wrong side out, and when they ar
rived at Smiths floor he dragged the
umbrella out by the handle. Smith
started off in an opposite direction
from his room, and Joe caught him,
and led him the other way, Smith all
the time saying he did not want to 90
to bed. he had an engagement to meet
a man at $3.50. and it was an outrage
to be dragged off to bed in a first
class hotel in the shank of the
evening. Joe tried to seethe him,
and finally got him in his room,
and Smith laid the umbrella on the
bed and was going to sit down on it,
when Joe grabbed it out from under
him, told him the umbrella was de-
moralized enough without being sat
on, and he egan to pull off Smiths
boots, saying, 'Now, undress your
self and / will Don have you in bed
and you can sleep till morning"
Smith begged as a special favor that
Joe would go away and leave him. He
said he could undress himself easy
enough, and finally Joe went out and
left him. Joe went down the elevator,
and Smith went out Of his room and
walked down the stairs, and was
standing in the Office with the umbrel-
la under his arm, talking with his
friends apparently Just a5 drunk as
ever, when Joe came out Of the eleva-
stor. Joe looked at Smith as though
he was a ghost, and walked around
him twice before he spoke, and then
he walked up to Smith and said, Il
thought i just put you to bedP" Smith
looked at Joe in astonishment, and
said, II beg pardon, sir, but | believe
/ have never met you before" Joe
looked again at the umbrella, and at
Smith, and then he went up the ele-
7ator to the room to see if Smith was
there; Smith hurried up the stairs and
got into the room, and pulled off his
coat, and was just trying to get his
boots of, when Joe wrapped, I'D was
told to come in. He opened the door,
saw Smith and the umbrella, turned
pale, asked if he could be of any help,
and said there was a man down IN the
Office that resembled HIM a good deal,
and was about as drunk, and had
mashed his umbrella terrible. Smith
told Joe he could undress, and Joe went
out and Smith put on his coat and went
down the stairs and when Joe came
out of the ~elevaGar Smith was
looking over the register, with his um-
brella hanging loose, one of the points
in the overcoat pocket of a stranger
who was trying to register. Stand
back, please said the clerk to Smith,
as he pushed the register to the strang-
er. Then turning TO Joe the clerk
said, IL thought / told you to put that
drunken man to bed.n Joe looked at
Smith, and his eyes stuck out, and the
perspiration came out on his face as
he told the clerk that be had put tbs
other drunken man to bed, that this
was evidently his twin brother, as he
had been upto the other ones room,
and he was there all right. "Well,
take this one 10 the pound, or the re-
frigator, or somewhere" said the
clerk. AT tins Smiths friends began
to laugh, and Smith Strengthened his
umbrella out and looked as sober as
/ ANYBODY. and the clerk and the porter
! soon found that they had been fooled
bv d drunk and disorderly UMBRELLA.
The umbrella has been quite . curios-
itv at the hotel for several days, many
respectable citizens trying to borrow
It To take home to fool their wives
with. One gentleman said ne
slould yo home with that umbrella in
that shape. his wife would procure 9
divorce. Joe said he had been fooled
4 good many times. but he nHver was
so completely taken in as he was BY
Smith and the drunk umbrella.
BsGk's sun.
$3.50