Griggs courier., 1888-06-01
PUNGENr PARAGRAPHS,

The judges are now nearly as we'll
paid as the baseball players. but the
game is not nearly so interesting.-
Toronto Nems.
Here lies a lawyer cod in death,
With all paid up that's due him,
He lies at ease in peaceful rest,
For lyings natural to hlm.
-Woshington crvl-.
If one would have good picture
of public opinion he must take it by the
new instantaneous process. 1t does not
keep stll.-N. O. Picayuus.
The difference between square
man and Il group of dudes in front of Il
hotel is, that the former pays Us he
goes and the others gaze as they pose.
n Y. World.
-"And so your father has gone to q
station?" "Yes; we are
quite alone now.'' Don't you miss
the directing hand of Your household"
20, mother didn't go. It'd BITS.
"A bride sneezed twice ut the church
ceremony the other day, and the old
nurse said it was good luck. Other
people said it was because her dress
was cut too tropically for the tempcra-
ture of the editice.-Boston Gazette.
The men who will never die are
the men who voted for Washington. the
oldest Freemason. the last soldier of
the Revolution, Jefferson's body servant.
and the man who originated the idea Of
the Pacific railway.
A Congressman on receiving his
hat from the cloak-room. asked the
waiter how he knew it was his hat, and
was promptly answered.: II didn't
know it was yo,r hat; l only knows it
wuz the hat You CUB to me-
Enthusiastic Bonapartist-"Eet ees
coming. eet ees coming. the papers off
NJ chere Paree already call him 'Bou-
!anger l." Lcvel-headed American
Historians will refer to him. not as
Boulanger l., but as one Boulanger.''
Omaha World.
Mistress (severely)-''M Marie, didn't
[ hear You make use of the expression
you little brat in the nursery just
now?' Marie Ga French bonne)-
"Yecs. Madame but Mess Flossic do
wcxes me SOL" Mistress Qcss severely
10, l thought YOU We're speaking to
Fido. Send Miss Flossie to me at once"
Tho Epoch
-Landlady Ito applicant for boarD
-"Have you children, madam?' APP
plicant-"No." Landlady-"iou are
fortunate, for we never take families
who have children" Applicant
Have you any children?' Land
tady-"Ycs; two" Applicant-''Wcll,
you are unfortunate for we meyer
board with families who have children.
N Y. San.
-"You can tell whether man is
lazy or industrious just by the way he
asks for work." observed business
man who just dismissed an applicant
with regret that he had no opening for
him. "lndeed! should like to know
how" "Weli. some men ask for q
position. while others want 'situa-
ton. '-PiNsburgh Chronicle.
Freddie Uo his eldest sister, who
has been watching the clock impatient
ly) "Isn't time mo ney, Lucy?" Lucy
"Yes, Freddie, and am very glad that
youhav such sensible ideas" Freddie
"Ihen I'd like to know how Captain
Corkscrcw can waste so much time with
ou every day when father says he
hasn't got red cent. "--Rarper's Bazar.
Str Pardon me, sir, but l
heard YOU complain to friend OF q
feeling of lassitute, which is peculiar to
this season. "Well?" II am agent
for preparation which will make you
feel like Il new man. What is it?"
''Dr. Balsam's Magic Potion" 20, l
guess won't try it. +" "Why not?" II
am DR. Balsam, the inventor of the
medicine ~ Lincoln Journnl.