Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1888-12-16
Love and Friendship--The "Ex-
clusives" of Society.
A Contrast in the Large-Hearted Man.
What Genuine Friendship Is,
Means and Should Bring.
Little Things by Which Our Friends May Be
Recegnized-Loye Like an Ocean,
Friendship as q Calm Bay.
Copyrighted 1885,

emotions derive their worth, yet they
must not expect to initiate its light, or
warmth or power.
Our friendships are the stars next in
magnitude TO the orb of light. There can
be but one true love, as there is but one
sun visible to the earth. But there may
be as many orders of friendship as there
are varieties of stars in the armament,
though few, to be sure, of the first mag
nitude.
A great nature can enjoy and be loyal
to great variety of friends. 1t is time
we did away with that old idea, grounded
in human selfshness, that man should
have but one friend. l have studied the
persons who are fond of proclaiming, 81
care but for few people, - and | have
found them at the core selfish, narrow
and unsympathetc. The ad-gauged
and noble-hearted man goes out spon-
taneOusly to his fellow beings, and gives
affection and loyalty to many. He at
tracts rs many true friends as his varied
characteristics render him capable of en-
joying.
You appeal to his intellect and are a
mental COmrade: in the association he
grows fond of you, and interested in
your personal life, but you cannot expect
him to shut out from his heart another
who amCses and entertains him with
flow of cheerful spirits which you lack.
You show no evidence of affection if you
are jealous of this other friend. You
simply show narrOw-mindednes
grounded in self love. You have your
own sphere in that mans life and can
not be crowded by another any more than
+ay lC n
The moment my friend says to me, -
must be frst in your affection, no matter
what other claimants for your regard
come knocking al your door, - ! reply:
''Mv friend, il is yourself you love, not
me: the absolute friend asks only fer
what / choose to give, and, confident of
his own worth never doubts his true place
in my affections. Were you my true
friend you would rejoice to see me en-.
riched Ivy other friends. 1t is yourself
you love, and you desire me to add fuei
to the fame which is already consuming
Won. But | can only bestow what you
inspire. Look to it that you inspire the
best within me and it viii be yours.
With,earh new friend l think our capa-
bilitics of affection increase.
Love is to the human heart what the
Koran is 10 the Mohammedan or the Blbl.
to the Christian. There can be but on".
But we may have as many choice friends
Us we have choice books i'll our library, il
our heart wealth is great enough to
procure them. ! need not appreciate
Dickens less because l enjoy Thackeray
also. do no wrong to the authors be-
cause | revel i'll the poets: There are
moods when the hImorist cheers and en-
tertains me, and again l need the philOs-
opher, and all are equally admired and
esteemed by me, ana there is no one |
could spare.
once heard Il person say, ~ love my
friends so intensely | am jealous of any
ray Of light that falls upon their paths,
save through me > This Is not friend
ship. ii is sclf-worship, self-aggran-
Gizement-self TO the core. Distrust any
act of Kindness shown You ny such Il
friend Ii is done, not TO give you hap
ness but to win your gratitude. The real
friend never thinks of your gratitude,
though he would be hurt by your ingrati-
tude But he would rs soon bestOw 4
favor unknown to yOu, and he rejoices
to see you benefited by others, and
takes pleasure in anything which helps
YOU no matter how remote it may be
from his own interests.
Old friends endcared by years of mem
cries are best. Yet l have no right to
reproach my old friend if he outgrows
me in his tastes and habits, and l have
no right 10 call him changeable if he
finds new friends who are more cOngenial
in these things, and who keep step with
him. He may have found me sufficient
for him when we both studied simple
fractions together, but if he has passed
into higher mathematics ! have no right
to complain if he no longer
enioys singing the multiplication
table to the air of yankee Doodle
with me. ! had better blame myself
for not making ut least sufficient progress
To appreciate him, even If cannot enter
into fun sympathy with his higher devel-
opment. If am worthy the name of Il
true 'sold friend - will rejoice to see
him speed ON and up even if our paths of
necessity diverge.
Not long ago | heard Il thinking wo-
man say that she could forgive the sin of
commission i'll Il friend far sooner than
sin of omission - An unkind act or word
may spring from hasty temper or Il
mistake of Judgment, but the friend who
sits still aud silent when l need a de-
tender or Il mentor, commits the unp2r-
dohabie sin, - she said, and said truly.
While 1 would prefer my friend to be
the first to praise me for well doing,
can excuse him for being the last if he is
the first to warn me when l am doing
wrong. He is no friend il he sees me
drifting toward the rocks and does not
tell NE so; If he sees me preparing for
the battle with a flaw i'll my ar1nor and
does not point it out TO me before the
fray begins. If he has not discovered it
until we are in the thick of the battle,
then the true and wise friend will keep
silent lest the sudden consciousness of
my weak point should unnerve me; but
he wiz keep his own eve upon 1t, and
stand ready 10 come to my assistance If
the flaw proves my failure.
] do not want my friend TO feed or
cIothe me, for that would enervate my
strength and rob me of my self-reliance.
do not want him to carry my burdens
unless he sees my strength falling me.
Let him not perform my tasks for me,
but rather stimulate me to labor: instead
of doing my work let him encourage in
me a belief in my own ability. Let him
chide me for my idleness and spur me to
achieve results with my own powers.
F. Edwin Knight, that rare and too in
frequent poet, has said before me:
do not ask that, Damon like,
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