The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-01-21

There is in the metropolis,
 Upon the street named Chatham, A clothing store, where seedy gents May cheaply shirt and hat 'em; Which is-at least, the sign so reads The ono place in the state, Where, with one dollar, you can buy Goods worth of gold their weight. This store (the goods whereof were bought "At n forced auction sale'D Contains, or erst it did contain, The hero of my tale. Job Smith, by name, a dapper chap Oftwenty .hvesor SO, With light blue eyes, and rosy cheeks, And "tawny beard"-thats tow. "My eye," said Job, one hot June day, My eye, I'm cooked quite brown. Next month, when am on four weeks, How quick I'll jump this town, And seek some high toned hostelry Where bigwigs congregate, And there besiege some heiress till She doth capitulatc. may, by some chance, run across Miss lmogene FitzNoodle, Who last year seemed quite gone on me That time I saved her poodle. That am fair to look upon
 l know by this pier glass. Why, at "the family boarding place, VOW I've mashed en musse; And wherefore not some heiress, or Some rosy country lass, Who owns square miles of land, and who AS verdant Is as grass: For stranger things, trow, than this Have fore now come to pass" "Please, Mary Ann, go up with me To number twenty four, l have a little piece that
 Would like to rehearse OCT. It is for the sole benefit
 Of that young city gent, Who, as his actions plainly show, Has come here firmly bent On wedding one with lots of stamps Which is also my intent. Hushl Whisper, please. Hes always Tn About this time O day. l can see him through the key hole Filming on d fresh bouquet. I'll now commence, and don't you be Surprised at what say; Hem! No wonder you're astonished, dear, To see me in this gown I'll tell you why I'm thus rigged out, If you will please sit down: My father dear, whom well you knew, (Now mould'rin meath the sod) Bequeathed hls riches all to me Three hundred thou sand odd, And-needless, tho, to tell you this You know that such things be-. Dudes, fortune hunters, and the like, Were fain to fiatter me, Hoping, thereby, to gam my hand And hundred thou sands three. Last year, at Long Branch, received Five offers for my hand; The year efore at Newport,
 Was also Tn demand; And, if my memory serves me right, have received, all told, Nine offers for my hand-that IS,
 Nine offers for my gold. I'm older now, and wiser, too,
 And SO of beauX am chary- Experience has taught me that
 They're fearful mercenary. And, knowing this, vowed a VOW
 That he who sought to win My love-to use vulgar phrase Should think me minus tin; That he should woo me for my love, ,1And my bewitching self; That he should win my heart before He won my filthy pelf! In consequence of winch, you see, Right here before your eyes, A hotel servant maid who is
 An heiress in disguise" Thus spake a servant maid to chum In number twenty four, Knowing the young clerks mammoth ear Was just outside the door. "The marriage bells rang merrily," NtThe bride turned rosy red, The bridegroom knew not whether he Stood on his feet or head. might have said, with brevity:
 The happy pair were wed. Or, after he had courted her
 With ardor and profusion, The young clerk wed the servant maid Beneath fond delusion. The presents-butter-k -kniv es and spoons Surpassed all expectations, The shoe was thrown, the happy pair Called on their rich relations. They had been welded four-solne four, Or, may be, some five weeks, When the husband, with loving air,
 To his better half upspeaks, The while he chucks her heath the chin, And strokes her freckled cheeks: "My lamb, my eve, my fawn, my doe, My ev'rything that's deer, You have a secret-it Is this:
 Xnt trava anf ha VT a You fain would have me think thatI
 Espoused a dowerless bride, Whereas you're rich, and have been since Your sire and gov nor died. chanced to be near by, my pet,
 Once when you did unfold, With sObs and signs, a startling tale,
 Wherein you spoke of gold; And spoke of suitors whom you claimed To l0athe, abhor, despise, And intimated that you were
 An 'heiress in disguisev I've seen the 'heiress,' not the gold,
 Which gives me great surprise; And now it meet and proper is,
 That you should straightway rise And give an explanation, and
 Stop rolling them green eyes" The explanation, sir. Is this." "That tale you overheard by chance.
 Oft dashed with sigh and sob,' Was but hoax, a sell, a-what
 You'd call .put-np job.' If yon should search the county house, Without doubt, you'd find My father, who, though ever poor,
 Was ever good and Kind.