davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
The cash Girl,s LLte,

eyes, said the blue eyed saleswoman at the
lace counter, while her customer waited for
the change, "the cash girls hardly ever go
back to school after they enter store. Most
Of them like the excitement Of this kind of
life and study in books no more Some have
gone nearly through the grammar school,
and can write as correctly and gracefully as
you please. A few find that working for
living is no play and are glad to get out Of il
by hook or crook. But then, the majority of
them know all about the responsibilities Of
life, young as they are, and strive to keep
their places like people Of much worldly ex-
perience OF course they ought not TO be
here. They become terribly world wise little
creatures in less than no time. And it seems
TO me that after they have been here year
they stop growing 1t may be fancy OF
my own, but upon my word believe the ex-
ertion dwarfs them New York Press
every Day Talk
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
WHAT THEY WEAR.

Skirt draperies falling in straight lines are
In high favor.'
A novelty for bridemaids' wear is boa
composed entirely of roses.
A novel muff is composed entirely OF green
cocks plumes, and lined with red velvet
Green and red costumes are likely to SUI
persede the time worn combination Of blue
and red.
The bridemaids at recent English we'd
ding wore costumes of cream velveteen
trimmed with otter fur.
A pure brilliant white seems to have su-
perseded the ivory and cream tints of past
seasons for evening wear.
Flat braiding executed with fine, fat Rus
sian braid, is now generally used, but most
patterns are wrought with two kinds Of
braid.
1t is predicted that Aounces, plain and
plated, will again be an important feature
In dresses of all kinds as the season advances.
The redingote polonaise is much admired
for drtssy costumes. They are made Of
plush. velvet or wool, with skirts aud ac-
cessories of faille or MORE.
Thick ruches about the edge OF the skirts
of ball dresses are steadily gaining In popular
favor They are sometimes dotted with tiny
artificial flowers.
Braiding still remains a favorite garniture,
Large designs are going out, however, small
patterns Of braid and passementerie put on
by hand being preferred,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29

An honest Belgian manager has hit upon Q
novel method of indicating to the public the
moral character OF his plays 1t is by print
ing his play bills in different colors. Thus a
red bill signifies that the play is pernicious,
and that, therefore, none but adults should
see it. A white bill indicates that the play
is moral, and that, therefore, parents ought
to bring their children to see it. Btill again
blue bill signifies that play Is on the
borderland Of morality, and that, therefore,
parents must use their own discretion IN
bringing their children to see 1t. Lastly, q
yellow bill signifies that husbands should be
careful not to bring their wives to see the
play, although presumably they may 60 them
selves.--New York Tribune.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
CULINARY sTRAws.
AM empty stomach listens 70 nobody.

An empty stomach listens to nobody.
Hope is a good breakfast, but a bad supper.
Steal the goose and give the giblets in
aims.
Salmon and sermon have their season in
Lent.
The taste of the kitchen is better than the
smell
Silks and satins put out the fire in the
kitchen.
There is no cake but there is the like of the
same make.
Who gives thee a capon, give him the leg
and the wing.
Every one basteth the fat hog, while tho
lean one burneth.
Who hath spice enough may season his
meat as he pleaseth.
The best physicians are DR.. Diet, Dr. Quiet
and Dir. Merryman
He that waits ON another mans trencher
makes late dinner
Who boils his pot with chips makes his
broth smell OF smoke Table Talk.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
rires That riraman Hate.


Do you know how half Of the most dam
gerous fires startn asked an old fireman OF a
reporter.
Both stood in the hall Of west side dwell
ing and woman had just gone into the
basement with wooden box filed with hot
ashes
''Well, continued the veteran without wait
ing for an answer, sthat woman illustrates it
to perfection. They win put ashes in box
or barrel and then take them down to the
cellar. The first thing you know live coal
In the ashes sets fire TO the barrel, and then
you have fire which makes an awful lot Of
smoke and may be suffocates somebody.
"Then, again, 1t makes fire bad for the
iiremen to fight, for they cannot locate it. 1t
is down cellar, and the cellar is filed with
smoke. tell you the flremen use plenty of
'cuss' words when they are called to a fire
like that. Always put ashes in tin vessel"
and a passing car carried the speaker away
toward the quarters Of his engine company.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
with Heads to the North.

The belief that human beings sho;ld sleep
with their heads to the north 10 said to have
its foundation in scientific fact. 'Sae French
Academy of Sciences has made ex ter.lnents
upon the body of a guillotined n..s. which
go to prove that each human 81 2.i is in
itself an electric battery, one cicero being
represented by the head, tho other by the
feet. The body was taken immediately after
death and placed on pivot, to move as it
might. After some vacillation the head por-
tion turned toward the north, tho body then
remaining stationary. One of the PROBES
sors turned it half way round, but it soon
regained its original position, and the same
result was repeatedly obtained until organic
movement finally ceased. -Globe-D Democrat
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
1t Was An Right.

''Is the plumbing In your Office all rightr'
he asked of a Griswold street lawyer.
"Why, yes, think sou
II was thinking you sent in complaint
about it.n
"Not as remember of y
"Lets see. What was it, Oh, remember.
You let tho water food the Office below and
had to pay S75 damages
"Yes, that was 1t, and it proves the plumb
ing was all right, or you could not have got
so much water. detroit Free Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
LOCKS AND BARRELS.
a UNITED STATES ARMY OFFICER
TALKS ABOUT RIFLES.

The Leading characteristics of the Diner-
ent Inventions-An Experts Explana-
tions Concerning the Various Weapons
of Note-aIaga.Ine Gums.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
seashors Gravel for Birds.

"This bird gravel,n said the dealer, .'is
found on the shores Of Long Island in large
quantities. 1t is then taken and thoroughly
cleansed, to remove all the salt and clay that
there may be among it, and is then dried
until it is white. Salt is injurious to birds,
and 1t has to be removed. The seashore
gravel is better for the birds because, having
been rubbed with the waves, the stones are
all smooth Your bird has been having or
binary pit sand put in his cage. He has not
been able to find many smooth stones, as be
would il he were not Gagged, because there
were very few there, and the rough, jagged
stones have hurt him. Now you try regular
bird gravel, and your bird will soon be WELL
New York Evening Sun.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
jErsAM.

The warm wave feels cool evenings breath;
White foam fakes with its blue commingle;
Soul saddened 10 the hush Of death.
The tide lays gently on the Single
A burden which IL cherisheth.
The living locks of brown sea drift
With the dead locks Of gold are weaving;
rne clinging garments fau and lift
Responsive to the pillows heaving;
Low at my feet they stretch their gift.
Oh, first born love with death for bride
Oh, starless night with far tomorrow
Oh, wailings of funeral tide
Filled with the endless oceans sorrow,
And by its beauty sanetihedl
Dear nameless daughter Of the deep,
Then seen, then loved, us nought shall severl
0utwatch with me this life of sleep
Till deaths morn Join our souls forever,
And my plighted troth win keep.
--"Erimus', In Chambers Journal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
perslau ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS.

Although there is no law prescribing GER
tain wages or tariff for work In Persia, yet
general custom exists by which IL is UNDER
stood that particular trade or labor per-
formed Is entitled to such compensation.
OF course the employee endeavors to obtain
more, but he cannot have just cause Of COM
plant II he does not. Even the arts are
taught by form Of apprenticeship, there
being no regular schools for giving instrnc-
ton In one of the departments in which Per-
STA has won exceptionable renown. A youth
DESTROYS of learning how to illuminate or
make handsome painted mirror cases or ink
several years serves as his chagird or ap.
prentice. --Teheran Letter.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
Lord palmerston's Last Word.

Lord Palmerston once made use OF some
very effective pauses which he could not
have prepared beforehand, and sample OF
these is worth quoting. While electioneer-
ing at Taunton he was greatly troubled by
butcher who wanted him to support GER
tain Radical policy. At the end of one Of
his lordship's speeches the butcher called outl
Lord Palmerston, will you give me plain
answer to plain question: After slight
pause Lord Palmerston replied: II will"
The butcher then asked: 'Will you or will
you not support this measurea Radical
bill" Lord Palmerston hestated, and then.
with twinkle in his eye, replied; 81 wilp'--
Then he stopped. Immediately the Radicals
cheered tremendously. MOT continued his
lordship loud Conservative cheers When
these ceased Lord Palnerston finished his
sentence--"tell you" He then Immediately
retired. Chambers Journal
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
I'm n Florida Hotel.

Tourist Ito agreeable stout gentleman in
the corridorj--Been In TO dinnera
Stout Gentleman--Not yet; have youl
Yourselves; just came out.
Stout Gentleman (cheerfully) you
have good dinnera
Tourist drritably)- Poor, poori I've been
here three days and haven't had square
meal yet
Stout Gentleman placidly)-Well, I've
been here three months, and haven't had a
square meal.
Tourist (astonished)- We'll, why don't you
leavel
Stout Gentleman--I can't; rmrunning the
hotel Hotel News.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
nohbx and Hia Pn.

"Pa," said Bobby, after a long-long for
him--interval of silence, which had been de-
voted to trying to keep awake, "a boy at
school has got a glass eye and he can soc
with it."
"Nonsensel" replied the old man furiously.
"If you can't talk sense, Robert, you had bet
ter go TO bedn
~ don't mean, pa, that he can see with tho
glass eye itself; he sees with the other eye, Of
course. THE Epoch.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
How Literature Paws.

Gilbert received only 81 for the immorta.
"Rhyme of the Nancy Bell" and that only
fron a second class and now defunct sheet,
after it had been refused by Punch. He
throws its success In Punch's teeth yet. The
best paying book In the world has been
"Grant's Memoirs which have netted his
widow about SIS line. Mr. Gladstone re-
ceived for recent article In The Nineteenth
Century about Ell line, which was not con-
sidered by the publishers here a muniacent
payment by any means. But then Mr.. Glad
stone likes to express himself occasionally
for his own sake. The Youths Companion
paid Huxley that much last summer for an
article on architecture. = New York Graphic.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
"To THE TRUE poeT.p

Sweet as the sheen the dew drops sip at dawn
Thy purity of song hath laved my heart,
Ehe rhythm of its light hath inward shone
To bid the shadows from my soul depart.
AS scars the lark beyond the fragrant mead
To bear the breath of wild flowers to the skies.
'Tis his to greet the sphere that puriies
Earths sweetness by its own; and scattering
seed
OF scented truth upborne upon the wing
OF song, tits thine to seek an upper light
Beyond life's clouds, while we upgazing sing
A timid greeting to thy venturous flight,
And long to battle our being in the air
Where none but thee and such sweet singers
dare. DR. John NJ Harper
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
The secret of uis Success.

Burt was IL years old. He came home
from Sunday school one day, and said he had
taught class of little boys.
"What possessed you to do such thingf'
asked his mother
ooh, got along first rate. They began to
giggle, and told them If they didn't quit 1t
would lick every last one Of them when
Sunday school went out. The superintend-
ent said it was the stillest class there was ~
Detroit Free Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
yerv OId Stove.

Peter Druckenbrod, of Lancaster, Pa. has
q stove that was cast In 1863. It has but one
door, that for putting in wood in front, and
has what is supposed to be coat of arms on
the front. On each side Is the head of .
woman, and III w. stiegel, i7e9, Elizabeth
Furnace At the lower corners of the sides
are Masonic emblems, and on the back the
figure of man standing against tree
Chicago Herald.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
Something worth Remembering.

A correspondent writes: Reading ac-
counts of so many being lost in the snow and
fog, would call your attention to simple
means of determining the position of the sun
at any time of the day, which is by placing
the point Of knife blade or a sharp lead
pencil on the thumb nail, which will cast a
shadow directly from the sun, no matter
how thick the snow or fog Is. Try it.H-Bos-
ton Journal
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29

II ever Is the poets dream,
That something he has put in rhyme,
May live beyond his little day,
And 'scape the hungry tooth of time.
One little joke that once l wrote
Is safe within fame's portal.
The negro MINISTRIES took II up
And now 1t is immortal. It'd Bits.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
wa,taa IN KNOW.

Washington. Mother and little daughter
passing government building, over the door
Of which is the sign, "Bureau Of Statistics"
Youngest--Dearest, what are "Statisticsr
Dearest--Oh, / don't know-agures.
Youngest Figuresi Which do you mean
images, or "one, two, threep'-H arpers
Bazar
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
EyadIng the Game Law

There is law in Pennsylvania against
using ferrets in rabbit hunting. A Cochran
ton boy evades the law by catching rat
alive, tying a string to its neck, taking it to
rabbits hole and letting 1t 60 into the hole,
he holding the end OF the string meanwhile.
The frightened rat usually scares out thera
bit.-Chieago Herald.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
Knows His Place.

Woman to tramp, to whom she has given
some cold potatoes)--if you like you can step,
into the cowshed while you're eatin' them
taters; it's rainin' so hard.
Tramp--Thanks, ma'am, but I'm no dude.
New York Sun.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29

They were sleighing and the horse bolted.
George, dear" said the frightened girl,
after the horse had run a mile or two, do
you think you win be able to stop him with
only one handT-Tid Bits.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29

Upon the snow, pray, lightly tread;
a grave is here, as you may see;
TITS that Of Jones who last fall said,
This would an open winter be.
- Rosfon Courier.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29

There is newspaper published In Kansas
called The Thomas County Cat. Ii the edi-
tor had ever lived In New York he would
omit the word county" and publish his
paper about Up. m. on moonlight nights =
New York Tribune.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
ImpenetrabIa.

"I'll put a roof on this old hotel,
That never will leak or break
And the builder smiled as he matched the top
With third class boarding house steak.
Hotel Mail.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29

Messenger Boy to servant)-Here'sd de med
icine for MRS Smith. De doctor says she's
to take it every half hour.
sServant-You are too late, boy. Mrs.
Saith died three hours ago-The Epoch.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
Omen 10 M,sconstructlon.

Stranger to boy in lawyers office)-Im
looking for legal blank, sonny.
lawyers Boy--Sorry, sir, but he's just
stepped out. New York Sun.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
FatIguing.

"why am l like a journey longr
lie asked her, blushing red,
Il do not know, unless It's that
You make me tired, . she said.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
Something He Could Do.

The bunco man reformed and went to see
And though he could not reef or knot an caring,
Or splice a rope, the captain said that he
At once showed great ability In steering.
Boston Courier
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
Consistency.

Consistency's a jewel we
Have heard and one we seldom see,
Yet now and then 1t doth appear
AS In the case we notice here;
The wife OF Smith, who deals in milk.
On Sundays wears'a watered silk.
Boston Courier.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
DImcuIt to please Everybody.

Dimcult to Please Everybody.
Grocer--Good morning, sir, what can do
for you this fine
Mr.. Smith-Don't expect any more of my
custom, sir. I've discovered that pure family
lard you sold me is half cotton seed oil, and
you'll take 1t back or I'll sue, sir, I'll
Mr.. Isaacks crushing in)-Mr Grocer, you
Won sheet und schwindler. sue you right
away. Dot bure Vegetable cotton seed frying
oil vat you sell me is Won half hog grease
Omaha World.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
A Rexised Yaraion.

"Forgive Us our precipices and lead N
not into the plantation Is the revised ver-
sion used by pious little negro boy In New
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29

Oar nebber will come er time wen er brave
nah won't be 'spected. Folks allus will
link dat dc meat O. dc game chicken il
wcctcr den de meat o. de shanghai. -Arkan
,lw Traveller.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
LambertvilIe Select School.

Thorough Instruction in English and Higher
Branches. Backward pupils receive special atten-
ton. Is years experience.
REV. W. NJ. WELLS, PRIN.
| School York st. Residence, ITO N. Main st.
! Dec IA. lSS7.-Iv
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
A polite O6sr.

Lady--Let me see something handsome and
cheap.
Clerk-You can gaze on me, madam It'd
Bits
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29

Young Lady What lovely passementerie
trimmingsl How much are theyi
Clerk Fifty dollars yard, Miss.
"Humphl The idea Of paying $50 yard
for trimmings that only show In windy
weather r--Omaha World
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
He Was Dissipatsd.

In the chemical laboratory:
Professor, what has become Of Tom Apple
toni Wasn't he studying with the class last
yearr
"Ah, yes; Appleton-poor fellowl A fine
student, but absent minded In the use Of
chemicals-very. That discoloration ON the
ceiling Notice itf'
"Yesn
'That's him. It'd Bits
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
"That's him. It'd Bits.
why He Smiled.

why He Smiled.
There was a young lady from Niger,
Who went out to ride on a tiger;
They returned from the ride,
With the lady inside,
And = smile on the face OF the tiger.
Boston Transcript.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29
Joseph Smith 6 Co. s
MILLING DEPARTMENT.
PRALLsvILLE GRIsT MILLS, |
(Stockton p. OAN. T. Z


We are prepared at our never failing water pow
err to do good work promptly, either by grinding
exchanging grists or to sell -four and feed, at
lowest wholesale and retail rates.
Pure New Buckwheat always in season.
LUMBER DEPARTMENT.
A good assortment Of seasoned white pine, yell
low pine, Norway and hemlock lumber; also a
large stock of pine, cypress and cedar shingles, at
Pralsville, all of which will be sold very cheap
Baled hay, baled straw, and Mapes Standard
Brands of Fertilizers always on hand, and sold in
quantities to suit, at Prallsville
Real Estate and Insurance Department still con-
tinued, Cor. Bridge and Union Sts., iambertville,
n. j. Real estate bought sold on commission.
Fire Insurance in the most reliable stock COM
panies effected at any time within one hours no.
tice.
Flour aud Feed from the Prallsviile Mill sold
here.
We hope by fair dealing and close attention to
business. to have the future patronage of all our
old customers and many new ones.
JOS. SMITH & co.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29

The Bald Headed Cook.
He walks about with peaceful air
And smile IL on his phiz,
For he knows II some one finds O hair
In the soup or butter he can swear
1t surely Is not his
Hotel Mail.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1888-02-29

Celebrated as Movable Feast-Last Days
Of the Old Year in china--A Universal
House Cieaning-salvos of Fireerackers.
Drnr.nns
Evening journal., 1888-09-26
PERSONAL PARAGRAPHS.

Miss Anna Hilles is visiting friends at
Woodbury., n. J.
Dr. H. G. Snitcher has removed his
Office to 1912 Washington street.
w. w. Polk of the Kennett PA Ad-
vance visited Wilmington to-day.
MI. and Mrs. Thomas S. Bellah re-
turned yesterday from Lockport n. Y.
Train dispatcher Jonathsn w Aydon
of the p, W. & B. r. r. is off on a
weeks vacation.
f. L. yallandigham Of the New York
Mail and Express. went to Dover this
morning to attend the fair
Leontine McWhorter of East st.
Georges is visiting his son, Register Nc
Whorter, at No. 9l1 West Eighth street.
Miss Lizzie Vernon Of Mt. Cuba, Del
will leave tomorrow for Wisconsin where
she win remain with friends for several
months
Miss Margaret Billing of Washington,
D. G., has been visiting the family of
Colonel Samuel Candy. She returned
home yesterday
Division operator John n. Hates of the
P, w. & B. R. R., has returned from his
vacation and will go on duty tomorrow
During his absence @. r. Evans has acted
as division operator.
James Cavenaugh and Thomas Dooley
of Middletown, Conn, are visiting Mrs
P. II. Ashton Of this city. They are be
ing handsomely entertained by Robert E.
Francis, Jones Kane and party of gen
tlemen who visited Middletown in the
early part Of the year.