The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1888-01-05
BILL NYE's CAMPAIGN EXPERl-
ENCB.

BILL NVE's CAMPAIGN ExPERl-
ENCE.
The heat and venom Of our own cam
paigu here brings back to my mind with
wonderful clearness tho bitter aud acri-
| monious war and the savage factional
fight which characterized my own legis
lstive candidacy in what was known -
the Prairie Dog district of Wyoming,
about ten years ago. This district was
known far and wide a. the battle-ground
of the territory, and generally when the
sun went down on the eve Of election day
the ground had that dishelved and torn
up appearance peculiar to the grave Of
Brigham Young the next day after his
aggregated widow has held her regular
annual snort recital and scalding tear fes-
tival.
| l hesitated about accepting the nomi-
nation because I knew that Vituperation
would get up on its hind feet and annoy me
greatly, and had reason to believe that
no pains would be spared on the part of
the management Of the opposition to
make my existence q perfect bore. This
turned out to be the case, and although
/ was nominated in way that seemed to
indicate perfect harmony, it was not q
week before the opposition organ, to
which had frequently loaned print pa
per when it could not get its own G. o.
D. paper out of the express Office, said as
follows in a startled and double loaded
tone of voice:
"The candidate for assembly in this
district, whose trans-Missouri name seems
to be Nye, turns out to be the same man
who left Penobscot county, Me-, in the
dark of the moon four years ago. Mr..
Nye's disappearance was 80 mysterious
that prominent Penobscotters, especially
the sheriff, offered large reward for his
person. 1t was afterwards learned that
he was kidnapped and taken across the
Canadian line by a nigh spirited and high
stepping horse valued at 81 ,30O Mr..
Nye's candidacy for the high Office to
which he aspires has brought him into
such prominence that at the mass meet
ing held last evening in Jimmy Avery's
barber shop he was recognized at once
by Maine man while making a telling
speech in favor of putting in a stone cul-
vert at the draw above Mandel's ranch.
The man from Maine, who is visiting our
thriving little town with view to loca-
ting here and establishing an agency for
his world renowned rock alum Ak helves,
says that Mr.. Nye, in the hurry and rush
incident to his departure for Canada over
looked his wife and seven little ones. He
also says that the candidates boasted
liberality here is different from the kind
he was using while in Maine, and quotes
the following incident Two years before
he went away from Penobscot county
one of our present candidates children
was playing on the railroad track of the
Bangor and SMoosehead Lake railroad,
when suddenly there was a wild
shrek of the iron horse, q timid
scared cry of the child, and the
rushing train was upon it. Spectators
turned away in terror. The air seemed
heavy and the sun seemed to stop its
shining. Slowly the long freight train,
loaded with its rich freight of huckleber
ries, came to halt. Then glad cry
went up from the assembly as the broad
shouldered engineer came out of the tall
grass with the growing child in his arms.
Then cheer on cheer rent the air, and in
the midst of it all Mr.. Nye appeared. He
was told of the circumstance, and, as he
wrung the hand of the engineer, tears
stood in his eyes. Then, reaching in his
pocket, he drew forth card, and writing
his autograph on it, he gave it to the
astounded engineer, telling him to
use it wisely and not fritter it
way. But are you not robbing your
self?' exclaimed the astonished and de-
lighted engineer. NO, oh no. said the
muni6cent parent, i have others left
And this is the man who asks our suf-
fragesl Will you vote for him or for
Alick Meyerdinger, the purest one-legged
man that ever raped with his honest
knuckles on top of bar and asked the
boys to put name to it."
was panied to read this, for had not
at that time toyed with politics much, but
l went up stairs and practiced an hour or
or two on hollow laugh that thought
would hide the pain that seemed to tug
at my heartstrings For the most of the
campaign smile that looked about as joy
Gus as the light-hearted gambols of tin
horse.
visited my groceryman, a man whom
l felt that could trust, and who bad
honored me in the same way. He said
that ought to be indorsed by my fellow
citizens :" What All Of them p" l ex-
claimed, with q choking sensation, for
had tried to be indorsed by one of my
fellow citizens once and was not entirely
successful "No," said he, "but you
ought to be ratified and indorsed by
those who know you best and love You
most"
The next evening my heart swelled
when heard q campaign band coming
up the street trying to see how little it
could play and still draw its salary. The
band was followed by men with torches
and speakers in carriages. A messenger
was sent into the house to tell me that
was about to be waited upon by my old
friends and neighbors, who desired to de-
liver to me their hearty Endorsement and
large, willow covered two gallon god
speed a. Q mark of esteem.
Ihave already taken up too much space,
however, in this simple recital, and have
only room to say that was not elected,
and that of the seventy five who came up
to indorse me forty voted for the other
man, thereby electing him by plurality
of everybody. Home Endorsement, hard
boiled eggs and hot tears of reconcile
ton can never fool me again. They are
a. empty ~ the bass drum by which they
are invariably accompanied.-BiH Nys
| = NJ. VII W<,~l1