The National tribune., 1888-12-06
M. AND MRS. BoWsER.
Some of Their Matrimonial Experiences,
Detroit Free Press.I


I suppose every husband is subject to what
might be called Sudden fits" and | hope
every wife tries to bear up under them with
philosophical patience. The other Sunday
morning five minutes after Mr. Bowser had
gone to his room to get ready for church, he
roared at me Mrs Bowser) over the bannister:
Mrs. Bowser, are you the woman of the
house or only lady boarderp
Why, dearr
Don't why dear me, Mrs. Bowserl If
pretended to be housekeeper I'd look after
things once in a whileg"
Anything wrongP
"Anything wrong Do / waste my breath
in talking when everything is all right?"
"What is it 2" ! asked as / reached the head
| Of the stairs.
| He held clean shirt in one hand, and with
the other he pointed to it with dramatic
| flourish and whispered:
Buttonsi"
"Buttons-how?"
"Not solitary button on this shirt, and yet
you find time to CAD down town every day.
| That's the kind of wife you are!"
Mr. Bowser, do you mean shirt buttons I"
IDOL I! You don't suppose ] am looking for
overcoat buttons on myssshirt, do your"
well. then you haven't had a shirt button
| on yonr shirts for 10 years. You and all others
use collar buttons. Your collar buttons are in
/ the shirt you have on.D
! 1t struck him all in heap He saw how he
had trapped himself, but he went to his room,
muttering:
THAT'S it! She always has an excuse ready
for everything"
One awful hot day in July he spoke about
changing his socks after his bath, and told
him in the plainest of English that he would
find clean ones in his lowest bureau draw.
That night he came home and began:
Can you tell me what day during the next
month you will have two minutes to sparc?"
"Why2"
Because if you ever get them. perhaps you
can devote few seconds to darning the holes
il my socks. I've had to limp around all the
afternoon on that account"
:" 1t can't be-"
"Oh, no! You are such a model housekeepel
that it can't be, of course! Look here!"
He pulled off his shoes and 10 he had on hiI
heavy Winter socks, every thread wool. There
were two or three holes, but they were not tx
be darned until Fall, of course.
"Mr. Bowser, where did you get thos'
socksP" / asked.
"Out of the trunk in the clothes-press, o
course"
"And you go and put on January socks il
July. You have six pairs of clean cotton sock
in the lower drawer of the bureau"
"Tll bet you $4,000 there isn't even on
pair there l looked through every drawe
| five times over"
took him up and showed him the socks
counting them out pair by pair, and he looke
at me very seriously and observed:
"Yes. | see 'em, but were they there when
looked for 'em2 How easy for you to hav
sneaked up and placed 'em here an hour ago.
He had some wearing apparel which he sal
= might sell to buy some toys for the baby.
got the clothes down and went through ever
) pocket twice over. In one of the coats foun
5 receipted bill for $40 worth of lumber, and
: laid it on Mr.. Bowsers desk. man came fC
the clothes and took them away, and tire
/ hours later, when Mr.. Bowser came home,
told him of my bargain.
? "You got just half what he would have pal
: me-" be replied. and the subject was droppe
e for half an hour. Then all of a sudden b
0 jumped up and exclaimed:
? You've finally done it, just as / expecte
e you would"
: Done what?"
81 remember that / left valuable paper
? that brown coat. 1t was a receipted lumbt
: bill, and they may send the bill again an
i day."
! 81 looked in the pockets
s "Oh, yes, you looked You looked Just lib
Il any other wife who was in hurry to get I'll
@ clothes out of the house and the money in h,
(" hand"
|. went and got the receipt and asked him
n that was the one. He grudgingly admitte
that it was, and added:
70 " presume the old clo man found ii ar