The Portland daily press., 1888-01-03
H0RATI0 STAPLES.

ssSOmething very extraOr-
binary is happening i'm our
business Duck pond to-
day."
ssNObOdy doubts il! SOme-
thing startling is forever
happening in YOUR pond;
what are You quackiDg
about nOwr'
sListen and you shall
hear.
sits an exodus of Christ
mas debris,
"And something else bet
ter still.
"When the Christmas tide
went out
SIT stranded on our HOIi-
day tables
handkerchief enough
10 cloud the moon,
.sHkfs of enough shapes,
styles, textures, religious
tendencies and political
preferences to start a rival
multiplication table.
eve bunch the batch to-
gether,
quicker up the price of
the entire lot TO 5 cts each.
"That's n bargain as big
as a BurdOck leaf.
"Seventy-five beautiful
Silk Hdlxfs, some of them
worth "A dollar, some less,
all shrunk up TO 35 cts each.
"What no without therev
'sWith0uf what my Tragic ~
"Why, without n Silk
Hdk'f 10 be sure.
"a silk Hdkf bigger and brighter than a
toper's noseD
"When they are flying
about at 35 cts,
"Suspenders! OH Suspen-
ders, Silk and SiIkless,
ssSuspenders as elabOr-
ately wrought as Frank
StOcIxtOn's yarns, and al
most as tough.
25 cents a pair, ? pairs for
40 cents.
ssEiastic enough TO com.
pete with the Democratic
creed, which stretches from
absolute Free trade 10 Sky
high Protective tariff.
"WhO ever agitates never
st1gnates.
"Thacs why we manage
TO have just
1.-TWO cOmmOfiOns a year
i'm our store.
each one six months
long.
wherefore a disturbance
of great magnitude is GEN.
trail i'm our Underwear De-
partment just now.
ssYOu must know that we
have hundreds and hun.
dreds Of
Ladies' fine soft NIerinO
Undervests, silk bound and
silk stitched.
Follow each line Of this with your right
fore fng,i and let your eye accompa-
ny the finger, for you won't live to see
another such bargain proclaimed; at
least, think not.)
"The mills where these
Vests were made are very
particular about their
goods
land amy that have the
slightest defects are thrown
out as seconds.
"A lot OIL these seconds
drifted into our hands.
They are now ON our
ssStaccatO Counter mt IS
cts. each.
CHATS the unkindest cut of all, the cut
on the price ofthese vests, it is only
done to keep our Duck pond turbulenD
"But the Field marshal
leading off the procession
of bargains
SIS a new and splendid
brand of Cotton.
ssThe Homestead Bleach.
ed Cotton"
owe arc its sole Agents here
ssHeavier than Wamsutfa
or Fruit of the Loom
'sSOft as undressed Linen.
'sHaving smooth round
thread.
'NOt n particle of dressing
"WOrks admirably ON all
Sewing Machines.
ssTO introduce IL here we
shall sell ii for
10 cts. a yard.
9I-2 cts. a yard by the piece
Gets. a yard i'm ten piece lots.
"send us your address
and we will mail you a
large sample of IL"
Chorus, 'sBIankets, Blan.
kets, Blankets"
Refrain: "SenatOr Shirts,
BOnaza Shirts, ReviIO
Shirts"
ssBOth chorus and refrain
to be repeated crescendO at
short intervals.
ssOur store is crowded so
full of bargains that when
they laugh they are obliged
TO laugh perpendicularIy,
there being not room
enough to laugh horizon
tally.
"Our Duck pond, where
the agitation is going ON is
Corner Middle and Cross
Streets; (CO-OperatiOn cor
ner they call it,.
HORkTlO STAPLES.