davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26
No Room for a Mother-in-Law.

A young married man was recently
looking over the plan of a flat which
he was considering for future home.
when friend at his elbow remarked:
"But it gives you no guest room;"
Exactly so." was the cynical response,
that is why l have decided to take
it"
The statement may seem brutal, but
it is u fact patent to all that to keep
open house in New York is to keep a
railroad hotel. How can woman sit
down to calm enjoyment of avisit when
she is haunted by the ghosts of unwrit.
ten letters. unrcturned calls. and I'M
read books not to mention such prosaic
spectres as undarned stockings and un-
cared-for children?
The stra II upon the man of the house
is almost as great He returns from a
days work at the office. which he
leaves every nerve throbbiug with irri-
tation. He is fit for moth ny but dress
ing sack, pipe and slippers before the
fire. or restful nap on the sofa. In
stead he is requested to hurry off to
meet his wife's cous NJ, or, still worse.
his own. who are to arrive ut the Grand
Central station from Dakota ut 1880
Their arrival delays the dinner hour,
thereby adding indigestion to his other
troubles.
So long as the expenses of living fall
we'll within the income. hospitality is
comparatively cas- but the moment
there is anv difficulty in meeting the
monthly bills visitor is actually
dreaded. The Epoch.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26
REuEARSING THE BILL.

The next chapter is somewhat sadder
and relates to the day when the home
papers arrive, commenting on his states
manship. The opposition organ con
tains a brief dispatch alleging that 8
golden haired lobbyist was seen driving
with him on the day before (Which is al
egregious lie) and the bill is the most
conspicuous pie'e of .oDbery the halls Of
congress have yet known.
The organ OF the arty, instead of be
ing violently indignant over these as
PERSONS, criticises the bill as "a nincom
poop effort to betray the party interests >
and saws further that the public con.
fdence first placed in the don. p. Alfred
Perkins will not stand much more tri-
fling" kilograms from mother-in-law
and other anxious relatives pour in in
quiring about the go'den-haired lobby
list, and craftsmanship sinks in a
troubled sea of domestic Mysteries.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26
REvElLLE.
BY ROBERT j. BURDETTE.

The day star shines upon the hill,
The valleys in the shadows sleep;
In wood and thicket, dark and still,
My comrades lie in slumber deep,
Far in the east a phantom gray
Seals slowly up the nights black pan,
And, herald of the coming day,
The distant bugle s soft notes call
II can't get 'em up,
| can't get 'em up,
can't get 'em up in the morning;
l can't get 'em up,
| cant get 'em up,
l can't get 'em up at all J"
A thought of motion at the sound
As though the forest caught its breath,
And belted sleepers on the ground
More restless, like life in death,
And slumbcl ing echoes, here and there,
Awaken aS the challenge floats,
And louder on the morn ng air
Ring out the cherry bugle notes
II can't &c 'em up in the morning!
i can't get 'em up in the morning!
i can't get 'em up in the morning!
/ can't get 'em up at all ~
And as the sh illing strains p.o'ong,
ldmeS lhto roSe anu 20 u tho "aS'
And springing up, with shout and song,
Each so dier welcomes march OF fray,
Through wooded vale, DER wind swept
hill,
Where camp fires CLEAN and shadows
fall
Louder and clearer, cheerily still,
Rings out the merry bugle call
ii can't get EN- up,
/ can't get 'em up,
l can't get 'em up in the morning
| can't get EN- up,
| cant get 'em up,
! can't get EN- up at all!
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26

A cypress tree recently felled in Woodruff
county, Ark, had diameter of feet inches
at the base. and hight of as feet. 1t will
make Is, 400 feet of lumber or 5000 shingles,
and 1t is valued at $500.
Dakota's wheat is all Of the spring variety,
and therefore the farmer is not subjected to
the danger Of losing his crop by winter-kiling,
as happens frequently to the wlnter-wheat belt.
Damage to the crop by rust, Hessian fly or
chinch bug has never occurred In the history
Of the Territory.
Susan B. Anthony says that 'if young
man spends two hours with young lady
every night and her old folks don't make
any fuss about 1t, the two young folks may
be said to be engaged Clearly.
The East can never compete with Dakota in
the cheapness OF pro iucing bushel OF wheat
any more than she can raise wheat Of an equal
quality.
Miss Eva Cartwright. of Michigan, has Just
married J. W. Coff.y, the living skeleton in
Detroit dime museum. Eva now possesses
the proud dignity of having a genuine ready
made skeleton in her family closet.
The soil of Dakota requires no fertilizers;
her climate obyiates any need Of irrigation ;
there are no stones or trees to be cleared from
the farm; and smooth and level prairies permit
the use OF many labor-savng farm tools which
The rough land and small area Of Eastern farms
preclude. burrows are run for miles without
\ turn
Johnny More proposed to girl. She said
she would send her ans wer next day. He was
surprised to receive green leaf. He took 1t
to a GJtanist and since then he has been
mourniul. II was a Leaf from a sick-o'-More
tree.
The entire wheat crop Of the United States
rould be grown off Dakota's wheat land II titled
and even then there would remain vacant
area larger than the combined surface Of the
States Of New York, Maryland, Vermont, New
Hampshire, New Jersey, Massachusetts, Con
necticut, Delaware and Rhode Island.
Fifteen couples got married In Paris, KY.
the other night, and Vt was said to be the
poorest night they had had for many moons
When Kentuckians are not lying In ambush
for each other to settle old feuds they are
getting married.
Eighttenths OF the business men OF Dakota
towns are under thirty years Of age, and that's
why they have been termed all over the Union
Dakota hustlers." II is one OF the elements
that will assure to Dakota q bright and pros
porous future.
There IA rage at present for fancy Jewelry
In llne gold and solid silver. both plain and
oxidized. Tie dainty patterns are wholly
novel.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26
watch for developments in his little

game.
He rallies briefly under the stimulus
of his first effort. He has written and
rewritten the impromptu remarks with
which he shall introduce his first little
bill and having reclted it himself to his
admiring family, listens to its golden
sentences from the lisping rosebud
of his little ones mouth, and now
knows that the hell'sh malice which
has pursued him will fly before the
glory of his wisdom in the legislative
halls.
But the great day comes, and the bill
is presented. 1t was a brief but glorious
affair. True, the other members OF the
House were chatting in loud, hoarse
tones, the pages were eating peanuts and
the Speaker was absorbed in the morn
ing paper but the bill was read his
comments evoked no response and the
entire thing appeared in large type in
the Record.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26

In pregnancy, Favoritc Prescription
Is a "mothers cordial" relieving nausea,
weakness of stomach and other d tressing
SYMPTOMS common to that cOndl Ion. IL
It's use is kept up in the latter Months OF
CESSATION, it so prepares the system for de-
livery as to greatly lessen, and many times
almost entirely do away with the su1erings
of that trying ordeal.
SEaVOrite Prescriptions when taken
in connection with the use OF DR.. Pierce's
Golden Medical Discovery, and small laxa-
tive doses of Or. Piercc's Purgative Pellets
little Liver Pills., cures Liver, Kidney and
bladder diseases. Their combined use also
removes blood taints, and abOlishes can
cerous and scrofulous humors from the
system.
medicine for women sold, by druggists,
under a positive guarantee, from the
manufacturers, that it will give satisfac-
tion in every case, or money will be re-
funded. This guarantee has been printed
on the bottle-wrapper, and faithfully car
ried out for many years. Largo bottles
400 doses) $500, or six bottles for
$500.
s121- Send ten cents in stamps for DR..
Pierce's large, illustrated Treatise az
pages) on Diseases of Women.
. 663 NIuin Street. RURFAI.0. N, W.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26
TEE OUTGROWTH OF A VAST

cures nausea. weakness of stomach, indi-
gestiOn, hlOatng and erLctations Of gas.
As soothing and strengthening
neryinc, Favorite Prescription Is un;;
cqual!ed and IS invaluable in allaying and
suhduing nervous excitability, jrrttability,
exhaustion. prostration, hysteria, spnsms
and other distressing, nervous symptoms
commonly attendant upon functional and
organic disease of the womb. 1t induces
refreshing sleep and relieves mental anx-
icty and dependency.
DR.. Pierce's Eavorite Prescription
IL u legitimate medicine, carefully
compounded by an experienced and skilifil
physician, and adapted to wOmans delicate
organization. 1t is purely vegetable In US
composition and perfectly harmless In It's
effects in any condition of the system.
"FayOrite Prescription - II a posi-
tive cure for the most complicated and
obstinate cases of leucorrhea, or whites"
excessive flowing at monthly periods, pain
full menstruation, unnatural supprcssions,
prolapsus or falling Of the womb. weak
back, "female weakness" anteversion, re-
trove-sion, beariRg-down sensations, chron-
10 congestion, inflammation and ulceration
of the womb, inflammation, pain and ten
derness in ovaries, accompanied with IN
ternal heat.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26

The early bird catches the bronchitis, and
lovers Of early morning walks viii find this q
true mixlm. II we were permitted to make a
suggestion, we should whisper: "Use DR..
Bulls Cougi Syrup"
''Give you a reason on compulsionr' Why
of course will. am cured Of rheumatism,
which has kept me enslayed for twenty years,
by using Salvation Old, which cost me only 25
cents.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26
GREAT EXCITEMENT
AZ ths valley city Wills, Which the
Foreman EXplains as Follows.

Dear Fricnd:-Yours of the Goth in
slant was received, and beg pardon for
not answering it sooner. The fact is,
am working day and night; have not been
as we'll in fifteen years. That trouble
with my stomach and the rheumatism
which nearly killed me has been entirely
cured by Hibbards Rheumatic Syrup and
Plasters. Mother is now taking it and
thinks there is no medicine in the world
equal to it. A. W. Thompson.
Valley City Mills, Grand Rapids, Mich.
Dec 30, 1887.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26
AM snenk In hlgh tcrms of the stoch they see

All speak In high terms Of the stock they see
on the dakota Cattle Nursery farm, at Grand
Forks, Oak, of which Dr.. 9. j. Alloway Is the
manager II Is an item of some interest TO
paid at the sale OF Pollcd-Apgus cattle from the
farm of the Hon. NJ IL. Cochrane, Hillhurst,
Canada, held In Chicago in 1856, were paid for
animals the produce OF cows actually owned by
the Dakota Cattle Nursery Company. 1t Is
prophetic of the great future OF the live stock
Interests In the Northwest that some Of tbs
finest and Best bred cattle in the country are to
be found In Minnns1ata md Dakota
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26

The treatment OF many thousands of cases
of those chronic weaknesses and distressing
ailments peculiar to females. at the lnvatids'
Hotel and Surgical Institute, Buffalo, ". Y,
has afforded vast experience IN nicely
adapting and thoroughly testing remedies
for the cure of woman's peculiar malades.
DIR. Pierce's FayOritc Prescription
is the outgrowth, or result, of this great
and valuable experience. Thousands OF
testimonials, received from patients and
from physicians who have tested 1t in the
more aggravated and obstinate cases which
had batfied their skill, prove il to be the
most wonderful remedy over devised for
the relief and cure of suffering women. II
Is not recommended as cure-all." but
as a most per feet Specific for woman's
peculiar ailments.
As n powerful, invigorating tonic,
It imparts strength to the whole system,
and to the uterus, or womb and its ap-
pendages, in particular. Por Oyerworked.
"worn-out," rundown" deblltatcd teach
ers, milliners, dressmakers, seamstresses,
" shop-girls," housekeepers, nursing moth
ers and feeble women generally, DIR.
Pierce's Favorite Prescription Is the great
est earthly boon, being unequalled as an
appetizng cordial and restorative tonic. IL
promotes digestion and assimilation of food,
Address. WORLDS DISP
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26
Young Man. What is yOur charge. Nj

Young Man: What your charge, Mr..
PaysOn, for tying the knot?
Minister: Oh, Wen call it ten dollars
Young Man: | can get better figures
from Mr. Byron.
Minister: Well its against my princi.
pies to enter into competition with any
brother of the cloth. but on this occasion
I'll do it at Brother Byrnn's figures. But
let it be a cash transaction. I'm tired of
doing this kind of thing on time.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26
An Accommodating Bow.

Old lady SHARPLY, to boy in DRUG
store) -"lve been waiting for some
time to be waited on, boz"
Boy (meekly)-"Yes' UNI; wot kin ]
do fer your"
Old LADY, want two cent
stamp"
Boy anxious TO ploase)-"Yes'um.
VIII you have it licked?'-NeW York
Sun.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26
State of Ohio, City of Toledo, i

Frank j. Cheney makes oath that he is the
senior partner of the firm of F. J. Cheney Il
Co., doing business in the city of Toledo,
County and State aforesaid, and that said firm
will paw the sum of one hundred dollars for
each and every case Of Catarrh that can not
be cured by the use of Halls Catarrh Cure.
Frank }. Cheney.
Sworn to before me and subscribed in my
presence, this 9th day Of December, A. d. SO.
tSeall A. W. Gleason, Notary Public.
Halls Catarrh Cure Is taken internally and
acts directly upon the blood and mucous sur
faces of the system. Send for testimonials
free. F. J. Cheney & Co., Toledo, o. Sold by
Druggists, IS cents.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26

Scratches.-J. A. Shaifer; Madison, Wis,
says. ~ cured a horse of the worst case of
scratches that | ever saw with Veterinary
CarbOlisalve. OF all the remedies | ever saw
this Is the 'bGss. 25c and SOC at Druggists.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26

To the Editor:-Please inform your readers
that have positive remedy for the above
named disease. BY its timely use thousands OF
hopeless cases have been permanently cured.
/ shallbe glad to send two bottles OF my rem
edy free to any Of your readers who have con-
sumption IL they viii send me their Express
and r. O. address. Respectfully,
I. A. Slocum, NC, 1871 Pearl St., New York.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26
READING THE HOME PAPERS,

HEADING THE HOMIE PAPEKS.
Law-makiDg is great vocation, but
unless an ambitious man has case hard
ened his feelings so tn he enjoys de
cayed reputation and finds pleasure in
reading the obituary of the last shred OF
self-respect he had in the world he had
better remain in innOcuous deSuetud,
during the coming year, for already
things are beginning to heat up and look
promising.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26

The latest craze, Moxie, is only the extract
of a simple, tast less plant grown in Central
and South America. 1t is taken principally
by nervous, Oyerworked women, who say
they do almost double labor with less fatigue,
on about six cents worth per day. When it
irst appeared it was supposed to be another
humbug. Now 1t is asserted that 1t Is re-
forming thousands of old drunkards by stop
ping the appetite for liquors, and II Is stated
TO be better beverage and harmless. The
whole country Is talking about it, especially
the women. The druggists say its sales are
enormous, and rapidly increasing.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26

Symptoms-Moistu intense itching and
singing: most at night; worse by scratching.
II allowed to continue tumors form, which
often bleed and ulcerate, becoming very sore.
Swayne's Ointment stops the itching and bleed
moves the tumors. 1t is equally efficacious in
curing all Skin Diseases. DIR. Swayne Il Son,
Proprietors, Philadelphia. Swayne's Ointment
can be obtained of druggists. Sent by mail
for so cents.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26

Fits: All Fits stopped tree by DR.. Kline's
Great Nerve Restorer. No Fits after first
days use. Marvellous cures. Treatise and
$500 trial bottle free to fit cases. Send to
DR.. Kline, 93l Arch St., Phila., Pa
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26

This standa I'd
preparation has
by its peculiar
merit and its
wonderful cures
won the conf
dence OF the
people, and Is
TO day the most
popular bio o d
pu rifer and
strengt h enin e
m e die in e. Ii
cures scrofula,
salt rheum, dys-
pepsia, h ca d.
ache, kidney and
liver complaint,
catarrh, rheu-
m ats m, etc.
Be sure you get
Hoods Sarsapa-
rilla, which is
peculiar toitself
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26
= -
Cafarrla Cured,

A clergyman, after years of suffering from
that loathsome disease, Catarrh, and yainly
trying every known remedy, at last found a
him from death. Any sufferer from this dread
full disease sending self addressed stamped
envelop@to Prof j. A. Lawrence, 2l2 East
9th ST., New York, will receive the recipe free
ofcharge.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26
Con,Imp,Ion surely cured.

Four members Of certain colored church
in Atlanta Ca. voted against prohibition In
the recent election. They have been tried
for this and expelled.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26
Of1r No. 10.

Free!-To Merchants Only: A three-foot
French glass, oval-front Show Case, Address
at once, r. w. Tansill & Co., IS State St.,
Chicago.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26

The finest sealskin sleighing hood that is
produced costs from SIS to S25.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26


n the still small
hours of darkness
now, all over this
broad and proui
pluned republic,
the attentive lis
ers ay hear a
low rasping sound
issuing from the
richly upholstered
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26

At Weimar, Germany, two old people named
Bayer husband and wife, died suddenly on
the sixty-fifth anniversary of their marriage.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26
FOR OFFICE SEEKERS.
Now Man May be Viewed From Two
Opposite Standpoints.
to would.be- Statesmen.

Henry Guy Carleton in the New York
World, in his inimitably facetious man
ner, presents some points for patriots
who contemplate Oflice-seeking.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26

The most fashionable boas reach nearly to
the hem of the dress.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26
It Is natural tn t skye terrier should

IL Is natural tn tt skye terrier shouid
bark at the moon.
A mans temper Is one of the things that
improve by disuse.
1.-Two heads ere better than one, especial
ly in a drum or a sensational new paper
article,
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26

II afflicted with Sore Eyes use Or. Isaac
Thompson's Eve Water. Druggists sell 1t. %
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26
Acres. Bushels Acres

The agricultural development Of Dakota
Territory is given as follows:
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26

'Unto him that bath shall be given" Bar
oness Burdett-Coutts has Ju received be-
quest of $9,000,000 from relative.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26

Dakotans prefer their keen, cold climate.
where an overcoat is necessary four or five
months in the year-to the climate in the South
and East where malarial coatings are worn the
year round.
For the past month marriages and dengus
fever have prevailed in Bastrop county, Tex.
Those not affected by one epidemic have been
| subject to the other. In no case that we have
heard of has there been a complication Of the
two.
The erroneous idea Is somewhat prevalent
that the northwestern part Of Dakota Territory
beyond the Mouse River is all Bad Lands A
visit to that part of the country will disabuse
the minds of such persons. Some Of the best
country In the Territory, for agricultural pur-
poses, Is to be found there Colonies from the
East have already been planted there, and
Calebs and Joshuas have been spying out the
land this season, with view to establishing
other colonies next year. The inexhaustible
fields of easily accessible Ignite coal make the
fuel question one Of important economic con-
Iteration in favor of that country.
A Nebraska man has applied for divorce
because he can't keep step with his wife. Be-
fore granting decree the court should be in
formed as to whether or not his wife Is
knOck-kneed or bow-legged. Marriage is too
sacred tie to be knocked endwise for TRIVIAL
reasons
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26

Coughs and HOarseness.-The irritation
which induces coughing Immediately relieved
by use of browns Bronchial Troches." Sold
only in boxes.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26

The cOaL-hoc fall is a very nice fall
a very nice fall, indeed,
A step III the dark and grUeSome pit
With considerable drop, but absence of
wit
Through a circular hole of tightiSh fit
Makes a very nice fall-a nice one. in
eed;
As pretty fall as falIist could need.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26

Dakota's soil raises the finest wheat grown iu'
the world; worth from five to ten cents more
hushel than the best GRADES Of other markets.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26

Sold By Druggists and Dealers Eperytahere
THE CHARLES A. VoGELER CO.. Baltimore. Nd.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-01-26

chi n worth $500 per n. Pettlts Eye selye sworth
0VLb $1,000, but is sold OF 20 cents box BY dealers