The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1888-11-24
WIT AND uUMOR.

In Denmark girls are trained to agri-
culture, but in America they take more
kindly to husbandry.-St. Paul Globe.
An exchange says: "Drawing is MOI
an easy art" Those who have tried
to draw prizes in lotteries can swear to
that Saratogian.
Lean mani don't see how you keep
so fat and sleek. How do you live?
Fat tramp beg. How do you live,
sir? Lean mani board. Time.
The baseball player has no fear OF
his cheek. That is hard and durable.
He puts on the muzzle to save his nose
and front teeth.-NeW Orleans Pea
yu'1e.
There is only one sure way to stop q
small boy from asking questions and
that way is not satisfactory if you have
any further use for the boy.-Jour''1t
of Education.
Young man, ere you decide that tho
majority of feminine acquaintance
have small feet remember thatit's only
the small ones you get to see.-1erre
Haate Express.
The Emperor of China is preparing
to mop up the earth with the nations
who decline to admit his subjects. He
is looking out more for his queues than
for his peace.-Puck.
Husband-''You are not the cook
my mother used to be, my dear" Wife
mo, John, fortunately. You mustn't
forget that your father died of dys-
pcpsia. "-Ieras Sytings.
"Have you seen the elephant?" asked
old Mrs. Bently at the circus the other
evening of a neighbor. '.No. ma'am,
he replied; 1--WE won't see the elephant
until after the show" -Judge.
Citizen Ito lawyer)-I want you to
get me a pension. Lawyer-Yes, sir.
Where were you wounded? Citizen
o! wasn't wounded; but my substi-
tute was killed.-NeW York San.
Gotham girl-"Wasn't it awful! A
farmer in Nebraska was entombed in a
well for eight days" Col. Kentuck-
envy Lord! Eight days with nothing
to drink but water?"-1Ae Cartoon.
A Saratoga hotel waiter, lately de-
ceased, has left fortune of 100000
This is another Endorsement of the say
ing that success always comes to those
who are willing to .wait,-Bsrlingtoa
Free Press.
When man is sharp-sighted he is
usually credited with having San eye
like hawks" but it would be more
complimentary to him to say that he
possesses an optic like that of a blind
beggar,--Puck.
Bashful youth-Will you take this
chair, Miss Ethel9 Miss Ethel-O, no.
1t has no arm. Bashful youth (eager-
ly)-I shall be most happy-ah-to
supply the deficiency, l assure you,
And he did.-Judge.
A writer on the American Small Boy
in the Home Journal says he has a
great deal of aplomb. He has the
whole of it, generally, no matter how
much he may be urged to share a
plum with his little sister.-IeIas Sift-
mgs.
Mrs. Sasher-You're still with your
old command, the Twelfth Artillery,
Colonel? Col. Blenkinsoke-No; since
the last new cherub came up at our
quarters I've been transferred to the
Fourth Infantry for night duty. -
Judge.
Wife-''My dear, the pew rent is
due to-day Husband-"Well, l can't
attend to that until l settle with my
friend Blifkins. owe him 500 on a
horse race, and debts of honor should
be paid first, you know. "-Philadelphia
Record.
They had been looking at the moon.
II think, George" she said gently,
'that l will go in now; it is getting
late" s.Don't 60 quite yet, darling"
he whispered passionately, 1.-THE moon
will be behind cloud in a moment"
-1eras Sylings.
Mrs. Jason-"Mr. Jason, you were
drinking last night. Don't try to deny
it." Mr.. Jason yep swell, 1
should think you'd want to 90 some
where and hide your diminished head
sit hasn't begun to diminish yet. y
Ierre Huute Gazette.
A young man from New York fell a
distance of eighty feet in the Catskills
recently and came up smiling. We
suppose he was canvasser of some
sort who had had experience in being
showed into the ELEVATOR shaft in fats,
-Neao Haren News.
Wont your husband score you
when he comes home and sees what
awful bills you've been running up?"
asked Mrs. Timid mo. indeed" re-
piled Mrs. Highball; ''my husband is
centre field in the Indianapolis; he
never scores. "-Burdette.
Young Spinckie (referring to the
evening being chilly)-"You should
have brought something that would
have been protection to ,'uu." Miss
Croonall-"Ye Yes; I should have thought
of that Ma said there were so many
tramps around here after dark
Judge.
Mormon sutton (who has just been
accepted And now can see your
your Young lady (shyly)-My
father, Mr.. Brigham? Mormon sutton
Mo; your sister, darling; and then
] can see your father about you both.
-NeU York Sun.
A recent state burial in Hawaii cost
81, 900. including an expenditure for
clothes for nearly 1000 men, women,
and children. 1t is not stated whether
the nucleus of the funeral was king
or the pitcher of baseball club. He
must have been great man, anyway.
-Norristosgn Herald.
Three of the admirers of pretty
Burlington girl called on her the same
evening, and as she answered the bell
IN ,oorcOro fc,. tho fo,rth coll che took