The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1888-09-30

we'll of it!"
THEY HAVE pleasant way of stating
grievances, these Denver editors. The
Republican, in a recent reference to the
NewS, said at now seems to be pre-
pairing to sell out on the treasury ques-
ton, and we have no doubt that it will
do so if the opportunity offers" "To
which the fighting editor OF the NetOs
replies: 1.-The sanctimonious old thief
who owns and in every editorial detail
directs the course and utterances of
the Republican, has grown grey and
bent in form in the practice of bribery
and corruption. Measured by his rule
and life practice, honesty, honor, man
hood, virtue and all that good men hold
sacred, is governed by price and made
TO yield to dollars. Purchase the OPP
position!' has been a standing order
issued to his lieutenants from behind a
parapet of money bags"
BULow THE pianist, has been plunged
in despair since a coarse newspaper
man announce MAN wants but little
herr BuloW."
TEXAS HAS not much to boast of in
the way of climate, but man rarely
cats an acquaintance" was the re-
mark recently made by prejudic ID
local paper. No" twas the reply, but
q stranger from the east has to be
mighty careful"
BLESS YER Honor, but yer foine
man." So spake Mary Conway in a
tone that might have been honeyed
were it not whiskied. The judge was
not moved.
MARY, I've heard that before
"Yes, judge; nivver tire of tellln
the truth"
~ gave you ten days last time, didn't
I. Mary?"
No, yer Honor; ye give me thirty.
Ye nivver.giVe such as me name little
ten days"
NO, Mary; 1 believe not. Another
thirty"
Thank ye.,yer Honor. Bless ye."
PALACES" ARE becoming entirely
too common. The latest to claim the
attention of the public is e "Misft
Clothing Palace" Soon may we ex-
pect to hear that MRS. Bridget
O'Shaughnessy's Washing Palace is
now open to the public" and that
"Mr. Jones, the artistic mender of old
shoes, can be found daily at his Re
pairing Palace
You SEEM very fond of bathing.
Miss Montrose," remarked Merritt at
Ocean Grove.
"Not in the least Bit" she replied
with modest blush, "but I'n1 obliged
TO go on the burlesque stage this fall.
and the manager told me this was the
best way for girl to get over her bash
fulness about wearing tights"
WHO WOULD have thought to see old
Boccaccio's delightful imaginations
turned into reality in this age and
country News comes from Jackson
vile that a party of dozen young
people heve fled from the plague
stricken city, as did the Florentines in |
the Italian tales, and have made a |
camp for themselves at a delightful |
place in the country several miles |
away, where they are passing the time |
as best they may until the plague is
gone. They say they are having lots |
of fun, under the circumstances" is |
the way the telegraph puts it. 1t is 10 |
be hoped thSt they are not taking the |
"Decameron" too literally for their
text.
"DEAR WIFE," said dying husband,
''if you do marry again, wait at least
until the grass is growing on my
grave" The widow promised faithfully
that his wish should be respected.
About two weeks after the funeral the
widow visited the grave, and, pressing
a gold coin in the sections hand. said |
q, ant you have this grave sodded with.
out delay 20
"MAT OVERHEARD! Man overboard!'
was the startling cry which rang over
the new steamship, the City of Oshkosh.
rs she fought her way through the
surging waves, straining every timber
TO break the record.
"Shlver my jibboom and splice nv
hRwser!" shouted the captain, "but we
can't stop now Throw the unfortun
ate man some sea biscuits and flag of
distress. andl we'll pick him up on the
way back"
Dreamy the song the fountain played.
PerfumeG the poplar's pleasant shade.
dared to ask the cool-clad maid
If / 8 kiss might take
She flushed and faultered prettily,
"You may have one-no more she said
Pouting her lips coquettishly.
Giving her curls shake.
I promised What else could DO
With such pair of lips in view?
But ere thought I'd taken two.
Oh. how. severe she frowned
stsmmered out, with downcast eyes,
dearest did not realize
Your your-your L outh was such a
size
One Kiss would mt % rnur1dpI