The Marlboro democrat. [volume] (Bennettsville, S.C.) 1882-1908, 1888-08-08
OUR ENPECTAT IONS.
How very unfortunateln

"IIOw very u~nfortunateln
'Ilow confOundedly annVyingln
The above remarks were made by
my wife and myself respectively one
bright September morning as we sat at
breakfast III the dining room Of our
siny, old fashioned cottage at Lew
thorpe. Before us each lay an open
letter, and it was the contents Of these
;etterS-indivldually and collectively
which had called forth the remarks set
down above.
To be more explicit, Elias letter was
from her uncle. Gregory Carper. signi-
Tying his intention Of paying us a visit
on the following Tuesday. My letter
was from my uncle, Simon Finicker,
saying lie Intended paying us Il visit Oil
the following Tuesday.
Nothing particularly alarming i'll
that, you think?
wait a little. Old Gregory Carper
was q most eccentric and lrascible indi-
viduai Of reputed fabulous wealth, who
had more than once distinctly stated
that 1t vas his intention to make his
only niece (my wifc) his hslress. Old
Fiuicker, my mothers brother, was
also rich in this worlds goods, and 1t
was generally understood that I, Chas.
Danvers, was to be his heir. And
between these two old men there was
ideally feud. The quarrel had taken
place six months ago; and each uncle
latter giving us All exhaustive cata-
lOgue of the enemies enormlties) had
sworn IN turn that if we, Ella and
Charles Danvers. exchanged words,
letters or visits with the SAID enemy III
future, we should be ostracizsd by the
remaining uncle.
Now, for more reasons than one,
Ella and l looked upon this as a serious
contingency; and | regret to say that
we had recourse to dupliclty. we gave
each uncle to understand that we held
the other as the scum Of the earth (lf
we didn't exactly say 80, we implied
st); and, SO far, we had kept on toler-
silly friondlT termH Tit't both, We
.sllea ON htuy --%e hNG#M h.lNy ...GiTe-
soly ANA &ii~on w 5n,i,s. Ho lad
1914 chrjst0peu i5inl0p Gregory Isl FtNG.
0yIi 44u6e ~ pBtli nnci9S just Q. week
ani0ie th4 fatal GiGtrfll to3k place,
,I'o0r Nttie SOUL / u2rd 10 ahu,ilot.
miieM i thought u uio usDuD with such
name at the public school where his
mother talked already Of sending him,)
| offer no excuse for our unpardon-
able conduct. | acknowledge that |
played the part OF q mean, abject
.F bIlCOns )hO x OilC lSCttlCI VIII bCt
that, under existing circumstances, the
projected simultaneous visits Of these
:wo uncles was, to say the least Of it,
awk ward.
However. there was no help for it.
TO write and put either OIL would Of
fend the put off m almost MS mOrtally
as to allow the dreaded meeting to take
place.
There will be a fine %sccne." L OBJ
served grlmly, after a short pause.
''By j0yel there will"
ELLA stirred her coffee a~bstractedly;
and | struck my eggspoon viDdictiyely
through the shell of my third egg, with
n vague wish that l were inllicting
C0rporeal Injury on either Objectionable
relative.
"Charleyl' said my wife, in piteous
tones, when some few minutes had
elapsed, '"Yhat shall wo dor"
t'Ask me something easier, my dear"
| replied gloomily.
sit ls SO awkward In every way,n
she went on. "Jane does not return
from her holiday until Wednesdays
(Jane was II l~lousemaid.) t'AiId
cooks being SO deaf makes her so stu
pld. And your uncle Is SO s0dgety and
particularly SHE added.
- 1 NNN " MY Ouo DOCu lSU-
te1s silently. No, there was no mis-
take, both uncles were coming on Tues
day. MIR. Carper proposes g. three
days. vi it,; Mr.. Fmicker intended
starting early OH Wednesday morning
to attend a cattle show some twenty
miles from L%owthorpe. He would
come down, he (my unclc) said, by the
5.l5 from Waterloo.
"As usual, Mr.. Carper does not
mention the train he intends coming
Town by,"I observed dryly. "There
only remains, as a climax, that they
should both elect to come by the 6.15."
70, Charleyl Surely not!"
81 think it Is more than likely,n 1
returned with the calmless Of despair,
as l proceeded to unfold the newspaper.
l had Just ten minutes to read ana
digest 1T before catching my train UP
to town.
"Charley, how can you sit there
c0olly reading the paperp' exclaimed
my wife, almost in tears.
"My DEAR" I demonstrated, "thore
nre five days to come before Tuesday.
We don't know what may happen in
that time. One Of the old fools may
er-ahem! We can talk it over when
I como homo to night" I concluded
llhbtlIy. 4Lous Win WHaU 1 HaVe D0on
told is the innate sel1shness Of the
masculine mind, / plunged into the
news Of the day,
When I came home at night Ella
met me with a beaming smile.
"Charley," she began gloefully, as 1
Invested myself Of my hat and over
coat, II have thought OF a plan"
"a plan?" ! echoed vaguely.
Reader--I give you my word I had
forgotten all about those two nendish
old men.
''Oh tho unc'es!" I grnaned, after a |
MnonlelJ's reilectlon. ''LeG us have
dinner first. ELLA, and indigestible
relatives afterward."
Ella. as all we'll drilled little wives |