New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-06-21

THE TALK OF THE DAT.

During the coming campaign some Democrats Will
wear red roses and others red noses.
New-York points with pride to the fact that only
Of her city officials are doing the state csS9
regard to the 900 or so who are fully competent to be
walls OF that institutiOn.-(BostOn Transcript.
Mr. W. II. S. Aubrey, an Englishman, thus describes
a typical American: The passion for talk is I'M
bounded and It IS only equalled by that for titles and
decorations. . . Nothing seems delightful to
the average American to take part In the process
sons that perpetually being got up, and to
the metallic ribbon adornments that appertain to
them. OF political, labor and friendly Or
CARNATIONS to nothing Of secret orders with gro
tesque titles and paraphernalia, there Is no end and
members delight to appear in uniform, with cooked
hats, covered with cheap feathers, and wearing the
inevitable sword and military gauntlets."
The editor of Missouri paper, having been accused
candidacy of justice OF the peace, says: No more
malevolent lie was Kissed from the lips of fend,
or coined and minted in the realms OF darkness. We
hurl it back in the teeth of the vile traitor who ut
tered it."-(Lincoln Journal
"Tho Postage Stamp" is the name Of a new play.
The chances that it Will stick fast in some one
night town.
At Picnic.-He with bunch Of wild flowers In
his hand)-Ah, my dear Miss sereandyellow, what kind
Of posles will you choosel
She lin perfect twitter-Oh, Mr. Smith On te, he;
te he /; | win choose PROPOSES.
Mr.. Smith sinks into the earth-tWashlngton Critic
One of the ships thermometers at the Navy Depart
ment has history 1t was used by Captain Hall on
the Polaris, which crushed and sunk by two leo
bergs of Littleon Island in 1872 and was put in a
cairn on the main land by the Buddington party
There It remained until 1876, when 1t found by
the British ship Discovery and taken to London, and
later returned to the United States.
About this time the ndulgent parent of the college
young man is puzzled by the following contradictory
Dear Sir: regret to inform you that your is
too fast for the moral atmosphere OF the college, and
unless he puts on the brakes he must not return next
term ,,.,., d., college pTes ie t.,
suits, English style. The young man IS too slow for
this place and unless he spudges up, win run him
out Of town next term. College TAILOR"
--(spnngfeld Union.
II you don't want to be swindled in mummies,
choose only the drIed-up, onery" ones. There is
said be great deal of fraud in the mummy business
In Egypt. The dealers are aware that purchasers
will pay higher price for wellpreseryed mummies,
and as no genuine mummies we'll preserved they
contract with tramps beggars, etc. for their bodies
when defunct The money paid to the mummles that
are to be, Of course, IS spent In dissipation which
hastens their death Then the dealers pickle and
smoke their bodies until they what ideal mummy
should be- And the first rich Christian doe' who
comes along them and pays big price for one
of hem with elaborate pedigree running back 10 tho
days Of sesostris thrown In.
Lady of House Ito tramp,-If you'll saw up that
wood, have this pie
Tramp-Lemme tackle the pie 1rst, While Pm ekal
to it.-(Burlngton Free Press.
"The Springfield Unon' humorist has discovered
that the bank where the wild time grows is the faro
bank
A sweet girl graduate wrote her essay in two
hours, but she has been employed six days on her
graduating dress and II is not finished yet And
who can blame herl The graduating dress receives
much more criticism than the graduating essay
(Norristown Herald.
Just now the papers are having a good deal to say
about the harm which the seventeenyear locusts may
do but there are things than the seventeen
year locusts-fouryear Democrats, for instance. Hap
PLY, however, this scoursc Will probably cease after
next March.
No Temptation Omaha Man-why don't you go to
st. LOUISE hear the bricklayers are getting %
BricEIayere-I was there. 1t don't pay.
No, they dock you 80 cents an hour for time lost
by sunstrohes. "-(omaha World.
According to A Fellow Feeln'sD veracious chron-
cle Crowley the adopted child of great African
chief Stadar and his wife, Ar-thare, who sold him
to the LIberlan Minister for highly perfumed bottle
OF hair oil and brilliant red calico dress with yellow
figures in IT, Before that Crowley was member Of
a tribe OF chlmpanzees whose ruler was termed
Boog aboop A century hence these facts, properly
overlaid with legendry lore VIII be pointed to with
pride by the great Crowley family that is to be-
When the NswYOr lay rns The e elsstS
goes into effect the State could be saved considerable
expense by allowing condemned muterers 10 hire out
as llnemen for the electricghting companes.-(Bos
ton Transcript
A young gentleman who had written TO nice girl
Offering her his heart and hand, but who had not re-
coved a reply penslvely remarked that he was living
in one Of the doubtful states"
"The Old Order Changeth."-" By-the-by, wish you
would get card for the Duchess of Beaumoriss's
dances
I'm try. But you'll have TO get costume from
her, a bonnet or something, she only asks her
customers lp-l London Punch.