Mountain Home bulletin. (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1888-1889, 1888-10-27
The CANDIDATE At HOME.
I Realistic Picture Of the Trials aud Trll
nlstfOn. Of Our Great Men.

I Realistic Picture Of the Trials aud Tril,-
aistions Of Our Great Men.
YES, my dear" remarked the can
didate to his wife. as with weary sigh
he removed the wrappers from large
yellow silk pin-cushioa with his initials
on it. and sent the girl down stairs with
4.82 for the expressman; Eyes. / fully
appreciate the honor that some of the
people of this great and effervescing
me for SO high an Office; butt could
wish that they would be somewhat less
impetuous, as it were, in their method
Of expressing their esteem and admir-
alton"
He here stopped to replace the cover
on the box containing the twenty-year-
old rattlesnake that had been sent him
by constituent in Wyoming, an act
which he performed just in time to
prevent the playful reptile from me-
andering out and making light lunch
Of the baby. This done, he resumed,
sadly:
at must, of course, be highly graft
flying to any properly constructed can
didate to have an enthusiastic people
pouring perfect avalanche, If L may
be permitted the expression, OF canes,
cigar-cases. underwear, beasts Of as
| sorted sizes and colors, and other USE
full articles upon him; he can not but
feel proud to think that his house is
the objective point Of every express
wagon in town, and that people all over
this great and glorious land are sitting
up nights and neglecting their business
to make rare and curious articles OF
Uertu for him. But in time even this
becomes monotonous, and"
Here the girl came in to say that an
other consignment Of yellow dogs had
arrived, and that the expressman
wanted eight dollars more. With a
sigh the candidate produced the money,
and ordered that the dogs be put down
cellar and made as comfortable as pos
sible.
II do not mind dogs so much," he
remarked. "but snakes and prairie
wolves sccm to me in bad taste, and
earnestly dcprecaho--
There's man downstairs inter.
rupted the girl, re-entering tho room,
and falling over the twenty-pornd
brindle cat, which lady in Michigar
had sent W tn her regards and an ex.
press bill for twelve dollars, land he
says that he has just named his two
hours old baby after you, and thought
he would come round and lot you
know, SO that you would not fee
anxious about il"
This is getting played OUT howlet
the candidate: 1--we got no NOR,
money to invest in that way, and tina
settles it. Give him a spoon out Of thu
holder. with my regards, and tell hin
I'll call round and kiss the baby a
soon as get time
Say! remarked his wife with ami
nation: "this paper says that u maj
named Wellington Hanks, in Keokuk
is making a hair-brush for you to b.
composed of 1867 distinct pieces O
wood"
Great guns!' exclaimed the candi
uuuC. W llO Sttiu Wdhpcu ~
The idea of sending q hair brush to
man without hair on his head!
won't have it"
just then the girl entered, and SAT-
that mule of rare beauty had arrived
from Arizona, and was waiting his Or
ders and sixteen dollars.
slaughter the BEAST" cried the can
didate wildly, land tell the express
man to go to! Am to have no time t.
think about the tariff and things, an
no money to buy food withp I can
even get a chance to write my inaugu
raj address: and the first thing yo
know it II be the fourth OF March, an
I'll have to stand up there before per
] spring multitude and speak piec
out of the Amateur Orator. won't
He was interrupted by tho entranc
of a boy with I'M express package, upol
which were inscribe. the words "Al
charges prepaid As his eyes fell upo
the inscription. he uttered a wild shriel
and fell to the floor unconscious. Fo
a few moments his woes were forgot
! TONI. A. Stearns. IN Puck.