St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-05-27
THE ARIZONA KICKER,
Specimen Kicks From d Sheet
That Is Noted for Kicking.


Detroit Free Press.
The following extracts are taken from
the last issue of the Arizona Kicker:
''Correction-LaSt week we had
brief item to the effect that Mai. Horn
back, our efficient register of deeds,
had got staving drunk, destroyed
bushel or two of valuable papers, had
two fights. and then gone home to
smash his cook stove and lick his wife.
Next day Mai. Hornback called at this
office and not only subscribed for the
Kicker for himself, but sent two copies
to friends in the East, paying us 81 in
cash. We therefore desire to correct
the item of last week. The major was
not drunk. 1t was simply an attack of
vertigo, to which he is subject. He was
never drunk in his life, and more eff
cient public official or kinder husband
and father cannot be found on the face
of this globe. We shall make other cor
rectionS from time to time as the victims
come in and SUBSCRIBE
Specimen Venom.-ThiS week we
nail the lie set afioat last week by some
of the VenomOuS Serpents on jackson
hill to the effect that we had been re-
fused credit at BOoker'S saloon. No
event of the sort ever occurred. and the
story was set aflOat to iniure our COM
mercial standing in Chicago. 1t was a
lie made up out of whole cloth, and as
soon as we can locate the liar he'll be
made to believe that double two-StOry
house fell upon him.
"Revenge.-TwO weeks ago we had
the pleasure of showing Steve Battle
up to this community i'll his true light
that of Jail-breaker, incendiary and
robber. In revenge Steve waited for
us in front of the widow Chilton's house
the other night, where it is well known
we are doing a little counting with a
view to matrimony, and as we reached
the road he made rush for us, crying
out that he would have our life. We
were taken unawares, knocked down,
and pounded until we couldn't holler.
AS Il result Steve Battle has been run
out of this town with rail beneath
him, and warned that he will be hung
if he returns. We are able to be about
again, and return our thanks to such
friends as have sent in flowers, sausages,
butter crackers, Goldfish and other me-
mentOS. We expected a dozen wallOp-
ings the first year of our stay, and will
probably get 'em, as we have averaged
one month so far. The worm will
turn some, however. and then look OUT"
''Thanks.-On Thursday night, Just
as we had exchanged our day
shirt for the calico Mother Hub
bard in which we sweetly sleep,
music suddenly broke on the Silly
atmosphere. 1t was little serenade ar
ranged for our benefit by that golden
haired angel, Miss Belle Hawkins,
whose father has been prominently
mentioned as our next mayor She led
band of five, and they played two
tiddles and sang several old ballads
which deeply affected us. Indeed. for
the moment we were carried back to
our mothers knee, and all that night
we felt much nearer heaven than ever
before. Miss Belle is not only the SUI
perior Of any songStress before the
American public, but her father and
mother are stars fitted to adorn any
armament They reside in that beauti-
full abode on the right as you rise Jack
ass hill, and one has but to glance at
the outside to realize that people of
culture live there. Yes, it was a glori-
Gus serenade, and we shall feel the in
vigOrating effects of it for some months
to come. Any subscriber receiving a
paper with ali * marked in violet ink
on the margin will know that his time
is half out, and that he is expected to
come again in six months"