, 1888-02-07

had I done so when everybody in
the assembly rose and took a distant sur
vey of the triangle. ] then was required
to mount the step of the little platform
to get into a chair, when the whole meet
ing broke out in n fit of the most enthusi-
astic applause. I trembled. Always
innocent and c%onfiding, / had suffered
myself to be led, in white kids and fine
clothing, and with my hair carefully
dressed, into the midst of a society of
decidedly deranEed persons. l rose to
take a handkerchief from my pocket.
The crowd again %applauded, and l hastily
sat down again.
Our friends are giving you an enthu-
siastic welcome, sir" said Mr.. DOGGY.
Yes said l, ''thank you" And, de
voted MS l am to art, the heroic idea
seized me to saw my triangle. l re-
moved it from the table, fresh applause
following that movement, and / imme-
diately dropped the instrument, upon
which l heard n droll little man, leaning
over to speak to n young lady in spec
tacles, whisper to her friend, He will
use that thing MS an illustrations; l have
heard of his doing so. 1t is very inter
esting."
My listening was, however, interrupted
~ a. IhCollpi llpll MI Doggy. |lllNt
You your notes with you? or perhaps you
do not use notes?" l answered that l
could not very well perform music, and
especially the triangle, without notes, an
answer which seemed terribly to puzzle
Mr.. Bogey; but that gentleman went on
to say, consulting his watch. that it was
late and was I ready to begin2 or would
l desire to take something before | began,
and he pointed significantly to the pitcher
on the table.
l, thinking to gain time, if nothing
else, said: "Thank you, | would like to
havcn glass of sherry"
y shudder ran through every member
of the committee. "a what, sir?" in
quired Mr.. DOGGY.
"a glass of sherry" l replied inno-
Gently, ''or %clarct, or brandy and water,
whichever is nearest your hand" Great
CONSERVATION appeared TO arise among
the crowd at my very ordinary remark,
which, l could perceive, was being re-
poated from bench to bench.
Brandy, sir, exclaimed Mr.. DOGGY.
''Are you niocking us2' "Well, - said
|, anything; l am not particular. You
asked me to take something to drink, and
| said vim or brandy, or n drop or two
of old Bourbon-anything of that kind
will do Whcreupon the lunatics began
to hiss me, and one gentleman among the
crowd called out that the man (meaning
mel was n fool.
The people rose from their seats. The
utmost confusion prevailed. The noise
became threatening. Mr.. DOGGY got up
and, in n very severe tone and with n
terrible frown, addressed me personally.
saving: Your conduct demands ex-
PLANTATION, -Ir. TOD TOD yourself, ="
said l, now positively angry. "Who is
TCd3 Here! Crackles! Where are your
What is all this about Tod?"
Cant say answered Crackles, and,
guided by his voice, ] saw him at the
other end of the room and heard him de-
clare that they did not appear to have so
much as n tod" in the whole establish
mcnt. why, can't you see, De Cor
dova, that this is a temperance meetingl
We have evidently got into the wrong
house" ''Ccrtainly,n exclaimed Mr..
Bogey, you wcre, or, ut least, Professor
Hiram Tod, of Mudham, Conn, was to
address this meeting here tonight ON the
glorious subject Of temperance and total
abstinence. -
"a temperance meeting!'' cried l.
Certainly, sir, " replied Mr.. DOGGY.
''Now, who are you, if you please?'
''Ncver mind who l am, " l retorted, Il
am not Tod. mo! nol' exclaimed n tall,
thin and solemn maj who had Just come
into the room and strobe straight up to
the platform with the air of a man who
had u right to that place and took it. Il
am, said the man, Professor Tod, of
Mudham, Conn, and what l havo gone
through this might nobody would scarcely
believe"
Well, I need not say that neither
CraCkles nor | waited for any further
explanation, but made our way to the
street door with the utmost celebrity,
where | saw the Carhart mansion in n
blaze of light, and, understanding now
how matters stood, and that l had been
undergoing torture through my having
got into the wrong house, l crossed over
the way, and Crackles and spent the
remainder of the evening with the intel
lectual Carharts.
1t appears that the trials through which
Crackles and l had passed were MS moth
ing in comparison with the martyrdom
which that poor creature had undergone
in the refined society of the Carharts,
through his having mistaken the house
by reason of Miss Henrietta's humorous
joke. Because nobody in that company
knew him. everybody had assumed the
privilege of staring at him. The serv-
ants, when they ushered him into the
drawing room, sneered at him because
he was not well dressed and had no white
kid gloves on.
Never having been in New York be
fore, and living as he did in the no doubt
classic shades of Mudham, in Connecti-
cut, he regarded much Of what he saw,
with reluctance, as proof of the eccentric
manners Of a strange people, whose de-
Eencracy he deplored. He blushed when
he beheld young ladies who wore very
low dresses and did not blush. His color
dccpcncd when he saw elderly ladies,
Whose checks, which werepalc by nature,
had been deeply colorcd by art; and ne
tremhlcd for his reason as he saw languid
Young men dressed to distraction, with
their hair parted in the middle, lisp the
most stupid and inane nonsense to young
women, who not only seemed satisfied to
endure it, but ever appeared rather to
like it.
And this poor heather, who had lived
all his life in Mudham, wished himself
- =