The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1888-08-10
THE RICHEST MAN IN AMERICA.
How He Is Viewed Abroad-The Vain
Quest of u British Lion-Seeker.

Quest of u British Lion-Seeker.
We felt II craving-a yearning, a
gnawin9-to see and touch and speak |
with the tiches6 man in America; to |
stare at his silver statues and his car.
pets interviewer with Threads Of gold;
and we took passage for New York in |
the Brixtonian.
As we landed on the quay an ex-
cited ~bystander took us by the button
hole and drew Us frverisllly aside. 'See |
that homely-looking man way long |
there, rassin' under the elevator,
stranger?N he whispered hurriedly, and
with ill-suppros5ed emotion; wall,
then, tUG see the richest man in Ameri- |
ca! Came over twelve years since from
down Kansas way, whar he was raised;
hadn't Il nickel; struck in a notion for
a corner in baked beans, and raked in
$4,000, 900 in nine weeks. and eats ter
rapin tarts fried in humming-birds' fat
to every meai.'
We had found him, then! Breath
less with excitement we followed him
| along the quay and streets, observing
him attentiyely. He had a wooden
| lee and Que button off the back of his
coat, u large mole on the back edge OF
his right ear, and n gray felt hat with
a green lining. He entered Il dining
saloon, and we eagerly tool. a seat OPP
posite to him; lie had one wall eye
and one bloodshnt one, seven front
teeth out, and Il black and yellow
uecktie.
Presently he engaged our attention
by eScitedly kicking us under the
table.
stSee that stout nan coasting arottnd
the ice-buckct?" he asked, breath
lessly. ''Whaat? Well, you take it
from me that's the richest man in
Amurriker. bar none. Started nine
years ago as assistant odd Job hand to
a toothpick sortcr down Five Points,
Ind struck twenty thousand million
dollars in seven weeks, and cuts gold
dust sauce with his trutlled ostrich
every breakfast"
We had found him then! We burst
away from the ainine-saloon, and
rushed after the party indicated. He
had lost both ears from frost-bite, and
had one shoulder four inches higher
than the other, and q green cutaway
coat patched with sacking. He had
not gone three blocks when he turned
| NtNttlIll1N III IN liiu SASlItlllCl4U LIZ
gripped us by the arm.
See that fence-rail of a crittur with
the rcspirator STAMINA by che fire
just the richest man in Amurracky, so
without Il rag on his back six years
come neNt Independence, and banked
$4,000, 900, 900 in five weeks. Sleeps
-. =. H.. ,ynl -,t a-t e L..
mond and sends his boots to be hccled
wrapped in 81 200, 900 bills"
We thought we couldn't follow that
man; he had a liarc-lip, and pants
made out of old carpet; but we aban7
doued him, and inquired of n hotel
clerk who was the best authority on
the subject of the richest man in
America. The clerk told us to go to
the editor Of the Spread Eagle, in
979th street. over the Naplitla drink
ing-saloor.
I'VE hear,n we said, ''that you, sir,
are IN authority iii the matter of the
richest man III America?"
"l'll tell you about him right away"
said the editor. III give You the
outlines OF him; and then You can buy
Il file OF the special editions of the
Spread Eagle, winch have three col
umns devoted TO him daily. The rich
est man in America, sir, is Groulter
q. Nanboom, who set ont from Grub
squash City, kas,, with ) cents sewn
i'll tire heel of his boots, and coilered
forty thousand million dollars in three
weeks. lie Was the mnu il.at erased
Elisha j. Ncnnerhezzet over the White
Daylight Cicrnb's Bush Silver Syndi-
cate boom, down Grogg's country,
California, when Elisha was prospect
ing way down there, and Elisha is now
the richest man in America. 1t was
he who came the mean thing upon
ClsiAea V. Blpobder about the cutton-
oil scare you've heard tell shout
Chaldca Y. Bloobder, the richest mar
IN America? Why, it was about that
man that Silas j. Seeker, the richest
man in America. used To sly-n
Then we left, and slowly cooled
down toward the richest man in Ameri-
ca. Then we took on tracking down
the tallest thing in railway swindles
aud the quickest-grown out west city,
and we are on the track of nine OF
each of them.-E'rom Lo&300 Fun.