Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1888-11-02
A Sleepy ENGLISH Tillape.

asked the young man the population of
the parish. He told me 1000. And how
many newspapers had they? Not one. s'Not
one?' echoed in amazement; 'swhy, in one
of our American towns of this size they
would have four, and one of them would be
daily" ~ know it, he replied, "but old
England isn't America, don't you see? We
used to have weekly newspaper here, but it
died years ago, and now such of us as care
to read the newsstand there aren't many
have to depend upon the paper in Peterbor-
ough, eleven miles away We have little
printing Office here managed by our Miss
Croft, the stationer, where we can get cards
and small handbills, but that is ALL" ''Then
you don't ADVERTISED" "No-how can we?i
"But suppose you had some bargains you
wanted to get before the people-how would
you do it?' "Why, we'd have to send around
the town crier with his bellr'
The town crier, by the way, found, is
quite an important parsonage in WhittIesea.
He is an old man named Smith, born there
''down in yon lane, sir, nine-and-sixty years
ago, and sound and 'earty yet, as you may
see.n These were his own words in an inter-
view I had with him on the street. Every
Thursday they told me he dons his robe of
office, takes his great bell, and marches
UNTOuRu LILO GOWu. Lar vel ear YER he
cries-and then goes on to announce the
"losts and founds," cattle for sale, houses to
rent, and the like. Thursday is the regular cry
day, but he can be induced for shilling or
two to make the rounds at any time. Smith
is also the beadle and the grave digger, and
found him an encyclopedia of information
concerning the hundreds of people he has laid
away in the churchyard during his long SER
x,;o TiDcla1r i,,T h;
can.
For man who has got to walk ten miles
up hill, carrying G box of lead, there can be
no objection to his eating cold slaw. =.
The Doctor and His Patient.
A young man, conceiving what he consid-
cred brilliant idea, visited number of
physicians. To them he stated that he had
pain in his back and soreness of the muscles.
They all prescribed for muscular rheuma.
tism. The young man then drew the re-
markable conclusion that physicians knew
little of the healing art, and that people
practically threw their money away when
they employed them. Such reasoning would
have been in keeping with the general belief
extant before the Christian era but at the
present day it is simply evidence that intelli-
gence is not thoroughly diffused. Physicians,
in determining disease, unless it is superb
cial character-as, for instance, measles
and the distinctive signs are visible to the
eye or distinguishable by touch, must depend
much upon the SYMPTOMS presented.
Now, symptoms are divided into two
classes, objective and subjective. Objective
symptoms are those which the physician OBJ
serves for himself, while the subjective
symptoms are those which relate to the SEN
Stations Or feelings of the patient, and which,
consequently, the physician can appreciate
only through the patients description of
them. If man tells his doctor that he has
pain and soreness in certain part of the
body, he must be believed, unless there ap-
pears to the physician signs which lead him
to doubt the patients statement. Diseases
are simulated for the attainment of certain
ends. In the army and navy during war
times malingers were common. Those people
who suffer from accidents for which respon-
sible parties are liable are singularly apt to
feign injuries or exaggecate those which they
have received. At all times malingering is
common among cQnYiets.-Bostop Herald.