davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-01-12
There's Something in a Name.

When one of the finest lake barges Of the
build of few years ago was about to be
launched, one of her owners was told that the
boat would be christened the Megalosauras
He protested against the name, basing his
objections on the well known tendency Of
sailors to shorten such long appeliations
His reasoning prevailed.
Senator Palmer being of the party that
discussed vessel nomenclature on this occa-
sion, was asked by Capt. Westcott to suggest
short, expressive name for new craft. II
WILL" said he, "call her the Bum"
This short, expressive appellation induced
the reflection that the Morse or Finnish
legends contained names suitable for lake
craft, and there was instanced the poem
Kalevala, dealing with the mythology of the
Firms. In their earlier days on the shores Of
the Baltic, that people believed that there
was a race of demigods who ruled objects in
nature. There was Tapio, who ruled the
forest; Anti, the lakes and rivers; Tuoni, the
realms of death. There were sufficiency Of
alliterative names to suit the owners of fleets,
such as Kyllikki, the beautiful maiden who
scorned the addresses of Kauna; KuIlervo,
the strong and courageous youth, Kaleva
and Kaatrakoski.
Senator Palmer said that Persian legends
and poems abounded with pleasing names.
Nourmahal, "the light of the harem," and
Namouna, the enchantress had been appro-
priated by the yachtsmen of the Atlantic
There was Bendemeer, Chilminar, Kauze-
room, Cadessia and Azab. He was asked if
he would adopt Feramorz, Fadiadeen and
Mokanna, from Moore's 'Lalla Rookh," and
answered that he would not hesitate because
Zamara, Peri, Zaraph, Mahadi, Camadeva,
Zemzem and Selama; and Israfil, who, the
legend said, had the most melodious voice
PracS
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-01-12
CONCERNING THE BEAN QUESTION.
Recipes from a Region Where Beans Can
Never BE Cooked.

Recipes from a Region Where Beans Can
Never BE Cooked.
"What is your recipe for baking beans?"
The question was asked of several individ-
uals of extended experience.
Landlord Allen, of the Hotel Hamilton.
who sat over against the big and finely
painted screen that adorns his dining room,
and bears an excellent likeness of that lover
OF good things, Louis Leib, in the makeup Of
Falstaff, had no decided opinion as to baking
beans, but his former business partner, who
was with him, said: 81 wouldn't bake them.
would fry them. Boil them three or four
hours, then drain them, put them in spider
with salt pork, and fry them to a rich
brown
John Smelling, the warm personal friend of
Senator Malone, said: "Down south thew
to the approved method and then MASKING
them. l am fond of beans, but did not
learn how to bake them until came here.
soak them until they become soft, put them
in an earthen jar with little pork, season
with pepper and salt, turn little molasses
on the top of them, put the jar in the oven
and let the beans bake. l always cook them
myself, and l imagine / know how to do it
well.n
~ have not yet become thoroughly ac-
quainted with the baked bean,' said Bill Nye.
"Up in Laramie, where held office, baked
beans were unobtainable at any price, The
altitude OF Laramie, like the prices that rule
there, is very high, and it was found impos-
sible to boil beans there with any degree Of
success, let alone baking them. The only
way they could be cooked was to put a little
saleratus in the water in which they were
boiling, but under the best conditions the
beans are liable to be about as hard and un-
palatable as marbles"
They have tradition in Germany that
beans can only be properly cooked when
soaked in clear spring water. The host of
Helms restaurant on Twenty street,
whose recipe did not materially differ from
that OF the other epicures, was very particu-
lar as to the manner that they should be
soaked and prepared before baking. He soaks
them about four hours and then bakes them
in dripping pan with little piece of scored
pork. Mr.. Hill, the theatrical manager. who
is typical Yankee and an adept at baking
beans, believes that they should be soaked or
parboiled, drained and then put in a sheet
iron box. A hole in the ground should be
followed out and fire built in it. When the
burning has gone on long enough to make
the desired degree of heat remove the brands,
put in the box Of beans with a piece of pork
on top OF it, cover up the box and let the con-
tents gradually but surely reach the desired
degree OF perfection.--New York Evening
Sun.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-01-12

An Englishman travelling on the continent
had hired smart servant, and on arriving at
an inn in Austria one evening, knowing well
the stringency of the police regulations, he
called for the usual register of travellers that
he might duly inscribe himself therein. His
servant replied that he had anticipated his
wishes, and had registered him in full form
as "an Englishman of Independent prop
erty."
''But how have you put down my name! I
have not told it to you"
81 can't exactly pronounce it, but copied
it from monsieur's portmanteau.
"But it is not there. Bring me the book"
What was his amazement at finding, in-
stead of very plain English name Of two
syllables, the following portentous entry Of
himself: "Monsieur Warrantedsoidlea !"
English paper.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-01-12
THE FUTURE STATE.
The following is by Willis B. Hawkins
in the Chicago Ners:

The following is by Willis B. Hawkin
n the Chicago Ners:
On far OAK ota's snowy plain,
Where wintry winds went signing,
Unheedful of their swelling strain,
a patriot lay dying.
A holy friar, passing by.
His lonely way pursuing,
Perceived the man about TO die,
And, quick his cloak Iindoing,
He wrapped it round the luckless wight,
And chafed him well with brandy
4 liquor which, on such night,
Comes in ex, eeding handy.
The brandy made, as brandy will,
Immediate impression
The friar bending DER him still,
Exhor.ed to confession.
"One ruling sin would confess
To thee, oh, holy friar.
Alas, I've been, as thou mayst guess
most tremendous liar.
.'Dost thou believe" the friar said,
Since now this sin is shriven
That when thy mortal part is dead,
Thy soul Will dwell In heaven?
~ know not what NAV follow death;
No mans asseveratlOn
Convinces me that loss OF breath
Is not annihilation."
"Expectest thou not future state ?'
"Ah, yes, we've got our quota;
think they'll end the long debate
BY taking In Dakota"
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-01-12
ANTICIPATION.

Our lives are mostly passed in dim to-morrows,
Whose only light shines on them from toda1s,
Reflected by ourselves, and much or little,
According as our brightness throws the rays.
If we remain today within the shadow
The morrow looms up darkly in our sight,
But if the sunlight shine out full upon us,
The coming day conceals all but the bright.
&C. NJ Hammond.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-01-12
R,ack Sheen Amone Peers.

The London Telegraph finds lib out of $50
peers worthy to sit in Westminster. The
rest are black sheep and they who are hope
lessly eccentric or congenitally stupid. The
Telegraph suggests that the peers pick out o
small minority and let them do the legislating
tor the crowd.-Chicago News.
Alone Worth the Price OF Admission'
Visitor to freak in dime museum,-1 ou
seem quite an ordinary person. " nat your
specialtys ,,,,r
Freak-rm an elevated railroad brakeman
who never told anybody to "step hveiy.
Want photograph!
Visitor-Heavensi yes.-New York Sun.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-01-12
importation of Opium.

Since 1878 there has been large increase
in the importation of opium to this country,
and while portion of the increase has been
due to legitimate causes, the main cause is
undoubtedly due to its pernicious use in
opium joints and by means of the hypodermic
syringe. DR.. Hammond, the great New
York specialist, advises physicians to make
up the medicines they prescribe without
letting the patient know what they are COM
posed Of, thus preventing them from dosing
themselves or trying experiments.-St. Paul
Pioneer Press
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-01-12
NEGOTIATING for q Dog.

Robinson-That's a fine dog you have,
Dumley. Do you want to sell hims
Dumley--I1l sell him for $50.
Robinson-Is he intelligent?
Dumley with emphasis)- is)-Intelligents Why
that dog knows as mrch as do.
Robinson-You don't say sol Well, I'll
give you twenty-five cents for him, Dunlley.
New York Sun.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-01-12

| No 132. The Old Oaken Chest. = novel. By
/ Sylyanus Cobb, Jr.
No. 134. The Pearl ofH,e Ocean, By Clara Au-
gusta.
garet Blount. Illustrated.
No. l26. Clife House. A Novel. By Eta W.
Pierce.
No. 137. Under The Litacs. A Novel. By the
author of Dora Thorne.'
/ No. I2o. The Diamond Bracelet. A Novel. By
! Mrs. Henry Wood. Illustrated.
No 140. The Lauyer's Secret. A. Novel. By
Miss NJ. E. Braddon.
! No. 139. The Strange Case Of Dr.. JekyU and Mr..
Hyde. Novel. By R. L. Stevenson.
No. 135. 4 Wicked Girl A Novel. By Mary
! Cell Hay.
No: IA. Lady Ea,'corths Diamonds. Novel.
| By 1.-The Duchess"
No. l4l: Bet'reen T'co Sins; A Novel. By the
author of Dora Thorne.' Illustrated.
No. 145. The Nine of Hearts A Novel. By H.
L. Farjeon.
No. LAG. Dora's Fortune. Novel. By Flor
ence Warden.
No. I36. A Lou Marriage. A Novel. By Miss
Mulock. Illustrated.
No. 156. The Guilty Rirer. A Novel. By Wilkie
| Collins.
No. 152. The Poison Of Asps. A Novel By
! Florence Marryat.
No. 153. Moot Grange. Novel. By Mrs.
Henry Wood.
No. 151 Forging The Fetters A Novel. By Mrs.
! Alexander.
No. 80. A PldWUrighfs Daughter. Novel.
By Mrs. Annie Edwards. Illustrated.
No. 143 Fair 5ut False. A Novel. By the au-
thor of " Dora Thorne." illustrated.
No 154. Lancaster's Cabin. A Novel. By Mrs.
NJ. V. Victor. Illustrated.
No. 155. Florence Icington's Oath. A Novel.
By Mrs. Mary A. Denison. Illustrated.
No. 142. The Woman Hater. ANOvel. Ny DR..
j. H. Robinson. Illustrated.
No. l32. The California Cabin. A Novel. By
NJ. T. Caldor.
ERs1D one year, and the above list of choice
n the United States. If desired The HERALD
lother.
ork, will mail direct to the subscriber, upon
d.
ney oraer, postal note or registered Letter.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-01-12
An Average Railroad

Conductor station. Five minutes
for dinner! Hold on, we're five minutes late.
All aboard!
Half mile further on:
Passenger--What are we waiting here fort
Conductor-Waiting for the up train.
"It's fearfully long stop"
"Yes, that trains generally an hour late" +"
Omaha World
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-01-12

No. ls6. Wonders of The World, Natural and
Other Contains descriptions and illustrations
of the most wonderful works of nature and OF
man. Very interesting and instructive.
No. I67. Wonders of the Sea. description OF
the many wonderful and beautiful things found
at the bottom of the ocean, with profuse Illus
trations.
No. 159. "a Pleasure Erertion," and Other
Sketches. By Josiah Aliens Wife. A collection
of irresistibly funny sketches by the most Popu-
lar humorous writer of the day.
No. 100. The Aunt Keziah Papers, by Clara An
srlsta author of tine Rugg Documents" A
most ridicuously funny book-quite as laughable
and in every way equal to Widow Bedott
No 164. Christmas Stories. by Charles Dickens.
Contains number of the most charming Christ
mas stories ever written by the greatest writer OF
fiction who ever lived. Each one is complate.
No. l5s. Round the Euening Lamp. A book Of
stories pictures, puzzles and games, for the little
folks at home.
No. 163. porular Recitotions and Dialogues, hu-
morous dramatic and pathetic, including all the
latest, best and most popular.
No 162. The Self-made of Modern Times.
Contains portraits and biographies OF famous SELF
made Americans from the time OF Franklin to
the present
No 165. Familiar Quotations. Containing the
origin and authorship of many phrases ire
quently met in reading and conversation. "A val
liable work of reference.
No. 16l. Lou Life in Ne,c York. series of viv-
i'd pen pictures showing the dark side OF life In
the great city. illustrated.
No. 157. The Road to Wealth. Not an adverti-
sing circular, but thoroughly practical work,
pointing out way by which all may make money
easily, radidly and honestly.
No. 13O. One Hundred Popular Songs, sentimen-
tai, pathetic and comic, including most of the IA
vorites new and old.
No. 14S. A Bdrtered Life. ANovel. By Marion
Harland.
No. 13s. An Old Mans Sacrifice. A Novel. by
Mrs. Ann B. Stephens.
No. l3l. The ForceLini Rubies. A Novel. By
NJ. T. CaldOr.
For $500 we will send The WEEKLY II
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The publishers of these works, in New
our order, and all orders will be promptly fill
Dy% Remit by draft, check on Helena, M
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-01-12
THE RAND MCNALLY
STANDARD
Atlas of the World Z!
PRICE, $3.50.
Large Scale Maps of Every Country and
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Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-01-12
The Waiter Sizes Him Up.

The Waiter Sizes Him Up.
he tips his hat to ladies fair,
He oft tips tables weighty,
He tips the scales, his friends declare,
At something like one eighty.
He tips wink to ballet girls
When he's at the theatre,
But still hold him prince of churls,
He never tips the waiter.
Boston Courier.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-01-12
STRAY JOKES.

If this country should ever become in
volved in war with England good many
OF our young naval officers will know what it
is to be sea sick.-The Epoch.
A western paper says that some educational
lists are questioning the usefulness of Vassar
college. Against them are arrayed in one
solid mass the gum manufacturers Of the
country.-Rochester Post-Express.
81 shouldn't care to marry woman who
knows more than do" he remarked. "Oh,
Mr. De Sappy," she replied with a coquettish
shake of her fan, 81 am afraid you are con-
firmed bachelor. THE Epoch.
Mistress-I am glad to see that you enjoy
sleeping so much. You seem to make busi-
ness of it. Bridget-Enjoy slape, is ita How
could l. I'd like yez to tell me. The mint
lay down I'm aslape, an the mint I'm awake
! have to git up Where's the time for en-
joyin' it to come Philadelphia Call.
The famous trotter Dexter is 90 years old.
A sort of horse chestnut, as it were.-
Washington Critic.
"Your bill has been running long time,"
insinuatingly remarked the butcher to Slopay
the other morning. 'sThat's bad" replied
Slopay, sympathetically. "Why don't you
let it walkr-Washingto Critic.
Never employ doctor who is on speaking
terms with an undertaken. - Washington
Critic.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-01-12
In Deem Mourning.

Caller-Your son seems very much affected
over his uncle's death.
Omaha Dame-Oh, he's almost crazy; be
neither eats nor sleeps.
"Poor fellow. He is uncle's sole heir, IS
he nots"
''No. All the money has been willed to an
orphan asylum Omaha World.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-01-12
Death of Gen, Phil Kearnv.

The death of Gen. Phil Kearny at Chan
tilly has always been shrouded in mys-
terry. He was killed instantly, but the
circumstances which led to his death have
hitherto been kept very quiet. Gen. Pierce
Young, Of Georgia, has just returned from
st. Petersburg, where he was United States
consul general. He was Confederate officer
during the war, and says that at Chantilly
he and his command Unexpectedly sur
rounded Kearny and his staff. Young, who
had been a classmate and friend Of Kearny,
motioned to the Union general to escape
Kearny saw the signal, but before he could
take advantage Of it was shot dead by the
rebel troops.-New York World.
Striving to Please.
Old Lady sharply to boy in drug store)-
I've been waitin for some time to be waited
on, boy.
Boy tmeekly)-Yes'um; wot kin / do fer
yous
Old Lady, want two cent stamp.
Boy anxious to please)-Yes'um. Will you
have it licked New York Sun.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-01-12
TO- 900
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FOR THE YEAR 1888.
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Forty Novels and Other Publications Z!
Fortv Novels and Other Publications

Each
by published
of
of napdwo in Mona
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-01-12
IIle 1l1sshln Berald,
R. {. FISK D. W. FISK. 4. J. FISK
Publishers and Proprietors.
Largest Circulation Of any Pareriu Montana
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Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1888-01-12

WEEKLY HERALD:
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1888-11-21
Admiral ror.er's Life and Ways.

The chief officer Of the navy, Admiral
David D. Porter, is Il His father, brother
and uncle distinguished themselves following
the flag on the seas. Admiral Porter began
his life on the water SiXty-four years ago,
wheI, as a boy only years of age, he sailed
with his father in the expedition against the
West Indian pirates. At ii years of age he
WIS a midshpman in the Mexican navy; at
Is he was wounded and captured by the
Spanish and imprisoned in a Cuban castle,
and at Is he was d nidshipman in the United
States navy. Having already gone through
the Mexican war as a lieutenant, he saw the
first and last gun fired il the civil war, and
became the second admiral in all American
history, FaragUt being the first to achieve
that supreme rank. He investigated San
Domingo for the United States government
when he was only -, and rode 200 miles on
horseback Jefferson Davis, as secretary of
war under Franklin Pierce, sent Porter to
Asia, where he bought eighty-four camels
that the government thought would be use
full to the army on the western plains.
The admirars face never felt the razor but
once, and when he reported for duty in the
war with Mexico the commander of the fleet,
Commodore Conners, swore that no officer
with the "whiSkers of a pirate" should sail
under him. Neither the army nor the navy
had ever seen another officer with a full
beard, but Porter insisted on his prerogative
and sailed with his whlskers unclipped. His
headquarters in Washington are fitted up
like an admiraps cabin aboard ship, but
Porter has nothing to do He is a volumin-
GUS writer of romance and amuses himself
with his pen He can compose and dictate
1000 words an hour. He neither drinks nor
smGkes We. G9r Boston, IlohA
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1888-11-21

The consumption Of cigarettes has multiplied
many timesS during the last fifteen years.
About seven out of every ten boys now grow
ing up smoke cigarettes. After boy has
smoked cigarettes for few years he has not
only no taste for tobacco in any other form,
but he has no stomach or constitution left to
stand chewing tobacco.
1.-THE suiferings which an inveterate to-
bacco chewer endures when he first deprives
himself of his accustomed weed are popu-
larry supposed to be intolerable. Some ex-
chewers say they are, while others maintain
that they are nothing which a resolute will
and clear head cannot easily master. All
agree, however, that they have to use some
substitute at first, be it only match or a
wooden toothpick. New York Press.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1888-11-21
A STORY OF BLACkMAH.
Exptrience of Gentleman Who "Canne
Down" and Got Out.

Down" and Got Out.
A gentleman who was staying at hotel IN
Saratoga was one morning passing down
corridor which led from his room, when q
lady who stood in the door of her room 40
costed him.
81 beg your pardon" she said, "but can
you tell me the timer
He looked at her and judged her to be O
respectable and inoffensive person.
"It is 1885," he replied, consulting his
watch.
The woman turned back into her chamber,
but instantly wheeled about again.
81 am very sorry to trouble you," she said,
''but my clock is stopped, and do not know
bow to set it. have an important engage
ment in about an hour, and shall be ex-
tremey obliged if you will set it for me-"
The gentleman kindly and rashly acceded
to her request and stepped into the chamber.
On the mantel stood an ordinary travelling
clock. He went up to it, took out his watch
again and laid it ON the shelf, while he pro-
ceeded to set the clock. The Lady followed
him and picked up the time piece.
'What beautiful watch" she said.
eyes" he answered, turning away from
the clock sit is an heirloom"
Il think, the woman observed, shat will
keep this watch"
And as she spoke she showed him In the
other hand the key of the door, which she
had noiselessly closed and locked. He looked
at her a moment in silence.
every WELL" he said, holding out his hand
for the key.
She tucked the watch into the bosom of
her gown and gave him the key, smiling
serenely. He opened the door and then
turned back.
Upon second thought" he said, with un-
ruffied GOODNESS, 81 think | will redeem the
watch. 1t is an heirloom, and am fond of it. "
Eyes" she responded.
81 will give you $50 for it, he said, taking
out his pocketbOok.
Very WELL" replied the adventures, pro-
ducing the watch.
He gave her the money, took the watch,
and departed a poorer but possibly wiser
man.
When this tale was recited at the club the
gentleman who told it related it as an adj
venture which had befallen a friend of his.
When he ended some one asked:
But why in the name of common sense
didn't lie ring the DaU or kick UP a row."
He knew better" responded the narrator,
with a smile. lie Yves locked alone into a
chamber with daring ami abandoned
woman, who would have fought to the last
gasp 1t WAS worth more than $50 to him to
escape the scandal
That is all very wel,' observed another
clubman; "but if he had looked the baggage
in the face anG callnly calculated Oh, rats"
she would have come down quickly enough"
Winch may be true. / am not an expert
in such matters, but it does on the whole
seem probable that most men who get black
mailed are either Victims of foolish coward
ice or are conscious that there is that in their
past records which makes it wise for them to
avoid estisation.-BoSton Cor Providence
journal