The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-28
WAYS OF THE WAITER.
One of Them Talks While Waiting for
His Tip.

His Tip.
"An' yo' think its er mighty fine thing
ter be er hotel waiter duz yop
The question was put by an old-time
waiter, day or two ago. "Wal, its not
ser fine tell yo'. Kase yo' gee desc peeka
jaclsits err jumpin erroun in here wild de
slippuz on, an err airin deyseves, dats no
early resin WY dey sees or happy time. No
la'h, its jes de 'vers ub dat. When we goes
in de kitchfn alter er ginewine good meal,
we specks ter fetch it ter de pusson we likes
de bes', and we has a disergroebul time
ub gittin' it, shoze yo' BON.
Haf de time dey GIN us spotted taters, an
when dey dom do dat, dey GIN us stubbon
cow stake, an fuses dat evy time, kaNe
Ise shame ter zee pepul lacks or hummin'
an er hawin' wild er tuff steer neck. Now,
et my pusson wut Use nuver had de pleshure
ub bis 'quaintans comes in an sets down at
dis tabul l fus' fines out ef he's come ter
bod. If he is, den Ise preshus sho' ter
stumbul up on or good dinner fur him; It'll
fetch outen him wut he is. If he's er gener-
nun he'll slip or quarter on de plate, an |
nuver goes back on dem kline.
But, suppose he don't ante upP" the
old waiter was asked.
Den drops him, an when my time
comes in dc kitchen | simpul say easy grub,
an If de head cook GIN me speck taters an
steer neck | can bep it, kase he dc one wut
meshurs it out. Wut kiner pepul duz we has
dc mos trouble widl l blob de cracker is
de fussies one ub all de gang. Deys mighty
ti'some. Deys too much put on an make
like dey knows 1T all ter suit me, when dey
dom know filbuts fun poun cake"
"Taltin' bout good meals, If we gifts or
good dinner we has ter make up some
powful big tales bout yo' all ter turn dem
head cooks heads
The waiter put his rusty hands to his face
and satckered to himself: 81 sho' did got or
way wild 'em de udder day do.n How was
thatp he was asked. "Wall, de udder day"
said he continuing, ser ugly little white
felpr come ter my tabul, an pom my
word, boss, he looked ez hollow
ez Jumbo's skeleton, an he How'd, he did,
My frien', if yo' fetch me much IL I kin
gobbul up g1m yo' dat, an he tho'd a sill
den make out like it wuzen er good trade.
| mumle 'roun erbout like az if l wusnt
gwine do t. den | say, Il don keer, l do
my leveles bes' ter crowd yo bread tray
Mine yo', all dat time | wus or hummin' an
er hawin' bout de price, wus or studin' how
ter rattle de head cook. | wait till all Oh de
udder walters wuz out OBJ de kitchen, den l
run in der like | wuz comm fur de doctor
an low, two rich genernens is in er mon
orter seed dat fat cid head waiter hnStI.
He cussed an kerfoom'd. Las he fill de
waiter an say, der take yo' rich viduls /
shutfl out ob der fo' my de udder walters
come in an | sot de grub TO- little Jumbo
an' no roll up he sleeves an cut er loose. |
sod ter myself, %, yo' mer eat little fello',
but you nubber swell big ernuff ter hole
dem dinners. But mum, sab, dat Jumbo
hid dat stuff. While | wuz 'stractin' de
'tenshun OBJ er nudder waiter fun my tabul
dat Jumbo clean de dishez an rap on de
tabul fur mo-
"'Looker her man. sed l, 4 didin greed
ter fill yo' pockits too
HE pinted ter his mouf and say, She's
gon'. l feel in my pocki1s fur de silver
quarter Ter fund back ter him and break
up de trade, but l think bout er nudder
plan. run ter de kitchin an time got in
dar,' de head cook he lows 'whut you
want niggerF Sed l, dem white pus-
sons er grumlin, an er cussin'
dis place; speck yo' better GIN
me err little mo- Oats wut makes me spise
de rich,' sed the old cook, but he hustle off
alter de nudder waiter full. Bimeby re
fotoh me er nudder dinner, an / shuttle
back ter Jumbo wild it. When l sot it
down | seed him tuck sufthin out fun
under he's coat, sack lack, an he TUX an
cram de dinner 10 ter it. He open de sack
ter me, an, low an b'holel dab was de
tudder dinners all settin' in tho bottom ub
de sack or smilin' up at me. He wink ter
me an low'd: Dis is my Idly ub rats, old
chap an wild dat he git up an slip out.
| say ter mysef arter he lef, det's or dis'ones
little white boy. But quit kusin him arter
while, kase be uz good ernuff ter GIN me
or SLIDER quarter"