Waterbury evening Democrat., 1888-11-15
BILL IVES FURNACE.
His Touching Experience with Cos Consumer.

His Touching Experience with Coal Consumer.
 Last year had an experience with fur mace which ought to be embalmed in song. l only regret that I am not a suitable em- palmer that might attend to it myself In the prime of summer time l ngased coal dealer to deal me some coals at low rate. By this means saved enough on my coals to purchase buffalo overcoat to wear while carving at table daring the winter, so it was Q wise move.
 We had a reddish furnace and tried to win its confidence and mold it's career dur ing the winter. First it had to be cleaned out thoroughly in the fall Previous people had used it apparently as a retort for clink- CTS I desired to avoid the expense of hiring a man to clean it out, as it was not what would be called skilled labor, and so did 1t myself By this means 1 saved S25O, to which I added SAT. 50 for the purpose of pur- chasing a new suit of clothes to take the place of the one ruined by getting it full of ashes.
 This furnace had two cut offs, a jerker of a cold air flue eleven dampers and tape worm. 1 would go down at night and fill it full of coals, shut the cold air fue examine the steam gauge, also the crown sheet, dump the clinkers and open the rear damper. would then retire. In the middle of the night the humidity in my room would warn me that all was not well with the furnace. l would go below in my simple wrap and find the furnace suffering from an overdraft l then sought to reduce the temperature and we famed ourselves to sleep. In the morn ing the furnace was found to be extinct. This went on for week or two. Then asked the coachman to look after the furnace. l told him I would look after the horses and polish the crest if he would try to win the confidence of the furnace.
 He resigned the second evening and left me with the barn and the refrigerator both on my hands I then secured the services of middle aged girl, who said she used to run the Jay Gould furnace. l told her ours was the same. Jay and I always bought our fur naces at the same place
 She said she used to have two nights out while she was with the Goulds. I told her that she would be treated equally we'll by us.
 Her name was Lorena. and she did very we'll while on duty, but the great difficulty seemed to be that Lorena and the furnace both wanted to go out on the same nights.
 was her alternate with the furnace, and it made me mad to have Lorena absent when it was really my night out
 1 told her that she might run Jay Gould that way, but she couldn't run me. I de- clined to take care of the furnace while she was sleeping it off. I told Lorena that sine bad better go back to the Goulds
 She did so.
 l then began again to steer the furnace through a tempestuous career. l excused myself while dukes and titled people were al our house, in order to go down and jerk the furnace. even tore myself away from 6 mush and milk sociable up stairs in order tc go below and shovel coals upon the never ending appetite of this great bottomless pit.
 And yet the basement was the only part o my house that was really warm. Up stairs gradually froze, while 1 tried to seem genla and urbane wore fur overcoat up stair; while the potatoes were sprouting in the eel lar, and on the second floor the nurse and th' governess were eating pemmican and waiting for relief party. Goose flesh manifested itself on the exterior of those who sought t. dress for dinner party on the second floor while i'll the attic my employees were eatini
 blubber and hoping for congressional relief This furnace also had sound magniher to 1t Its sound magnifier, as matter of fact 7 worked better than it's other fire did. Whel
 excused myself to our pastor, seeking at tn
 same time to convey the idea that I was leav ing the room for the purpose of some exami nation, it annoyed my wife much to hear s smothered roar, a rattle and some loud am
 horid remarks in my we'll known tones com floating up through the register. It was good furnace for everything bu
 heating purposes and I have often though that if they had the same style in ancien
 times the Hebrew children got good dea
 better press notices than they deserved.-Bil Q Nye in New York World.