Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1888-04-06

~'A'2 E:l0T
NOTEWORTHY event Loaning mon.
A VIOLENT crank is apt to give on,
turn.
The milkman's business is o,,..
so, so.
A MAN may expect to be bitten !,
dog trade.
A DAsH1SG young lady is ant ]
throw man over.
No MAN can attend properly to NJ
business who doesn't keep straieb,
says Temperance paper. How abaI
the contortionist ?-Bostom Co,1r;er
WHEN Dobbins was asked WHY
was so fond Of singing "Blest be thai
that binds" he replied that it was n
cause his second wife was tongue. ~,
-Arcol0 Record.
CHANGE OF TITLE.
"My darling George it used to be,
When welded life was new;
His title now is him" and "he,"
And sometimes Say there, you"
Boston Courier.
A MAN who wanted to be facat;ou
with the milkman as he was measur;n
out his morning portion, said, do v]
charge extra for the water?" "So)
replied the milkman. "the waite,
thrown in. "-Teras Sytings.
THERE is a mistaken idea among VI
men that men do not appreciate tid,l
A man always appreciates q tidy vbI
it is in its proper place. It's prom
place, according to his idea. is on /
easiest chair in his worst enenI
house.
CITIZEN Go coal dealer)-Say, Iva
ton of coal. Coal Dealer-All rio |
Shall we send it up right away? q
zen--Oh. no. If it's anything like d
last I'll just call for it on my way ho
and carry it up in my overcoat pock
--.Washingtoae Critic.
IT SEE you fry your beefsteak,
marked the tramp, with his mouth ID
"Yes," said the woman. "How wo,
YOU have it roasted?" ~
certainly not. Broiled, madam, broil
I may be a tramp" he added plai
lively, "but I'm no ostrich. "-ScyautI
Truth.
VISITOR Ito convict)-What are
in for, my friend? Convict got
years at hard labor for swindll
Notwithstanding is very bad. VI
labor do you have to do? Comic
I'm in the shoe department, sir.
pieces of pastcboard that are put
tween the soles.
elbow DID you like my acting in
new play last night?" asked Junius
his friend Brutus "I was deliss
with the last act" replied the lat
land think it should come first" "N
SOP" queried Junius, with a puzl
expression. "Well, you die earl
that act, you know"
A GIRL OF 10 slipped and fell in fl
of the Detroit Opera House, and aki
hearted gentleman who assisted hel
arise thought to comfort her by sayi
"Ncver mind, Sis, you amt old eno1
to lose any dignity by it. J" Eyes
I'm old enough to know that
loosened the whole top of my h4
and that 1 bit my tongue almost
two" she tearfully answered.-De1
Free Press.
FRED AS A COMFORTER.
Once upon M evening
Came thunder shower;
Fred and Sissy in their crib
Had scarce been half an hour.
Mamma, flying to her babes,
Lest they be afraid.
Beard her Freddy's earnest voice;
This is what he said:
Don't you cry now. Sissy"
Here he wiped tear;
Don't be fraid now, baby,
Me and God are here"
Chicago Times.
"WHAT do you mean by JOSH
against me. sir?" tiercely excla1
the man with the bristling hair.
was as much your fault as mine
replied the man with the SLOUGH
"but If you want any satisfac'a
shall be happy to give it to
There is my card" "What!" e
lated the man with the bristling
looking at the card, y. }. y
cigarette manufacturer. My dea
accept my sincere apology. I ana ?
to make your acquaintance. Shss1
am the keeper of a lunatic ASYLUM
Chicago Tribune.
ACCORDING to DIR. L. NaumanS
director of the geological survey o
pan, the principal coal-deposl''
found in kinshin and Yesso The
DrOdrctivegcoal-m 10 that at u