The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-03-01
NOTES.


have a girl, says Jersey man, that's
so modest that she wouldn't even learn
improper fractions in school.
Ny girl is more modest than that, re-
torted another; she always goes into the
next room to change her mind.
Speaking about the artist who painted
fruit so naturally that the birds came
and pecked at it, said fat reporter, l
drew a hen that was so true to life that
after the editor threw it into the waste
basket it lay there.
Why, Pat. for heavens sake, whAt's
the matter?
Well, sorr, l swallied a pertater bug,
and although, sorr, took some parrus
green widin five minutes after TO kill the
haste, sthil he's just raisin' the divil
inside O. me, sorr.
A little three. year old girl, when her
mother was trying to get her asleep one
summer evening, begin to ask questions
about a noise outside. When told that it
was cricket, she wisely remarked, Ma
ma, think it ought to be oiled.
Cook, on the day # her arrival
Please, mum. I'm little bit fiery at
times, and when I'm fiery l am bit
rough spoken; but you needn't let that
put you about. With little present
now and then you can allus bring me
around again.
Omaha boy-Pa, was Samson killed by
his wife?
Pa--It amounted to that. She betrayed
him to those who wanted to kill him.
What did she do that for?
1 don't know. Maybe she gave him a
letter and he forgot to mail it.
1t was a good New England deacon
who said the other night in prayer
meeting, We thank thee, Lord, for this
spark of grace; and we ask thee to water
it, And it was New England parson
who announced to his congregation on
a recent Sunday, You will be sorry to
hear that the little church at Jonesville
is once more tossed upon the waves, a
sheep without shepherd
She was a widow, and perhaps little
sensitive on that account. When she
answered a summons the other day she
found a good looking ministerial chap
standing at the door.
Good day, he began; | represent a
loan association
50 do l, she responded, shortly, and |
mean to stay alone good day, sir.
He hasn't thought it ont yet to his en-
tire satisfaction.
A doctor said to his patient on his
first visit: You are very sick man, and
if you have any business to do, anything
to put in ordor, it will be well for you
to do it at once.
Doctor, you don't think I'm going 10
die?
Yes, there is little hope for you.
The man had sense enough not TO be
frightened to death, and said: Well, I've
had a great deal of trouble in my life,
and most of it never occurred
He defeated the doctors prediction.
What are you reading about Miss Wa
bash? asked Miss Pittsburg, who was Wis
iting in Chicago.
have had an hours communication
with Emerson, through the medium of
his essays, replied Miss Wabash.
Do you like Emerson!
Well now. you're shouting
There are many ways of spreading
news nowadays. By newspapers, sewing
societies, callers, sermons and even
prayers. For instance: Our minister
PRAYED for some one who was i'll, We
gathered from the prayer that it was a
young lady, that she was young, had
one brother, was very patient. had con-
sumption and would probably never be
any better. We knew everything then
but the name, and every lady who was
at all inquistive touched her neighbor
and asked who was sick.
Where doctors disagree-A modern
consultation.-Dr. Bossom-In my
humble opinion. the patient ought to
have most generous diet, port, lobster,
turtle, etc.
DR., Squilter-According to my view
of the case, he must be reduced to a
starvation diet of slops-the weakest
chicken broth, barley water, etc,
DIR. Blossom-Um-er it's rath.
er difficult question to decide, which
of us is right. What do you say to toss
ing up for it? Heads l win tails you lose.
First call, old boy, for I'm rather busy
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