davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-26
LITE. LAUGHS.

1t is the man who cannot write who makes
his mark i'll the world. But life is full OF
crosses to hlm if he has TO sign his name
often.-Boston Courier.
New Clerk-These apples seem to be very
sma II. Proprietor irrltably)-Well, what do
you expect when you open the wrong end of
the barrel?-Boston Beacon.
The farmers of Hennepin county, Mimi.
are obliged to wear rubber coats to protect
themselves from the mosquitoes. This shows
that a man mas to be something OF a liar him.
self to live in Hennepin county, Mimi
Rochester Post-EXpress.
Brown-Have you seen Robinson re-
Gently? l hear he has been sick. Dumley-
Yes, Isaw him his morning. Brown-How
is he: Dumley-by thunder. l forgot to ask
him. just said How are you, old man!''
and passed On.-Ilme.
Guest (at an evening party to beautiful
young man)-You may order me an ice,
waiter.
Supposed Waiter (fiercely)-Sir! I'm no
waiter sir, and such mistake demands an
apology, sir.
Guest covered with confusion)-Why, of
course it does. Where do you ~ ppose |
could find the waiter?-Life.
Office Boy-Please, sir, here's man to see
you.
Impecunious Doctor-Healthy mans
Office Boy-very much healthy. Got
something III his hand looks like bill.
Impeeunious Doctor (struck with brill
liant a)-Let him come in. I'll give him
SO cents on account; he will faint, and I'll
charge him 81 for reyiying hiin.-Time.
''Yes, dear, love you; but please don't be
so impatient. 1t would be ridiculous TO set
our wedding day SO soon."
Engaged Youth-But why?
''You must remember that a marriage is o
great and solemn event ina womans life,
and should be celebrated bya grand we'd
ding. wi III everything perfectly lovely and
six beautiful bridesmaids
'All right You can have a dozen if Sgou
WISH
what darling you are! Well, that's why
I want to wait Bridesmaids are out of style
now, but Mrs. Society says the fashion will
be revived in three or four years. ''-Philadel-
phia Record.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-26
COUSINS Ben AND JEFF.

1t is well for the Republican party
that it didn't get out before election.
We refer to the story the new first lady
of the land is telling about her hus-
bands family tree. According to her
statement, Gen. HARRISON is near kins-
man of JEFF DAVIS, and as the presi-
dent-eleet is known to be man who
sets good deal of store by his kins-
folk, there is bare possibility that the
Confederacy has good show for get
ting in the saddle again under the HAIR
RIsoN administration. If it did, it
would not be the first Repub-
lican administration under which
the Southern brigadier climbed to the
top roost. 1t will be remembered that
when HAYES was inaugurated, about
the first act of his administration was to
seal a compact with the eX-Confederates
whereby the carpet-bag state govern
ments in the Southern states were
cleaned out. Bloody shirt Republicans
were Mortified when they found that
the Southern brigadierS had more in-
fiuence at the White no use than CoNK-
LING or EDMUNDs. 1t would now be a
terrible ordeal for these same gentle
men of the ensanguined cloth to see
JEFF DAVIS a visitor at his cousin
BEN's home in Washington, and with
his legs stretched under the mahogany
at the White house giving his cousin
BENJAMIN some pointers" on how to
run a government.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-26
PROHIBITION A FAILURE.

If this was good year for the Repub
lican party, it was mighty bad one for
Prohibition. In five states, namely,
Michigan, Oregon, Texas. Tennessee
and West Virginia, prohibitory amend
ments to the state constitutions were
submitted to a popular vote with the
same result in all. The people of those
states are either inclined to freedom of
drink or they are of opinion that Pro-
hibition is not the proper mode for
securing temperance. In West Vir-
ginia, where it is yet uncertain whether
the Republicans OF the Democrats car
ried the state, there is not the slightest
uncertainty as to the fate of the pro-
hibltory amendment The majority
against it will not be less than 10000,
and it may be $4,000. The vote in OPP
position to the amendment in the other
states is scarcely less pronounced. Con-
sidering the small vote received by the
Prohibition candidates on the national
ticket. and the overwhelming majorities
against prohibitory measures in states
where prohibition was question, the
lesson of the late election is conclusive
that the prohibition movement has run
its course, at least for this generation.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-26
THE AUCTION.
Daily Railway and Hotel News.

Daily Railway and Hotel News.
Auetioneer-How much for the q. S. sena-
torship: Who bids:
Big Banker-I start it at $4,000.
Big Railway Magnate-I raise you; go
$4,000.
MISUNDERSTANDING TWEEN, twenty, twenty.
twenty, TWEEN, TWEEN. TWEEN, twenty. Some
body say fifty.
Big Banker-Flfty.
Big Wheat Gambler-One. hundred thou
sand
Big Railway Magnate-One hundred and
fifty.
Big Brinay Man, but poor--I offes seven
and three quar- inch head well filled with
brains.
All the Other BIDDERS, led by the Auc-
tioneer-Brains is Nothing. Money Talksl
Auctioneer-One hundred and fifty! one
hundred tif', ff', fit. fifty. Finest place on
earth for a man of means. Nothing to do;
plenty of help to do It'll Plenty of gold lace,
siXteen-course dinners, and champagne by
the bucketful. Who says two hundred?Who
says two hundred thousand
Big Banker-I go two hundred.
Auctioneer-Say; is this rare piece of an
tiqne bric-a-brac going for the beggarly sum
of two hundred thousand? You fellows are
/ gittin old. You won't have another chance
for three years! What's two hundred theus-
and 10 an old chap that can borrow million
Oh his own note? Wheop err up. Somebody
say two fifty! Shall say two fifty for you.
old contractor? You made fou1 times thatin
your last failure! Keep the ball rolling.
Nothing to do but to eat. drink and look
wise. WHO says two fifty Nothing at all
for piece of property like this. SHALL I
say two fifty:
Big Railway Magnate-Ill take it at two
fifty.
Auctioneer-Now we are doing business
with a large B! Quarter Of a Million Quat,
quat quat quat- quat quat- quat-quat-quat-
quat-quater of Million. Quater. quatter,
quatter quatter. Quatter-quarter-quattre
ambition! Who says HALFl Nobody says
Half.
B. BIN still. small Voice. Half.
Auctioneer-Now for the Three Quarterf
Say the Three Quarter Speak out Loud !!
Never sold so cheap Thing in the whole
course of my Life! Money Makes the Mare
Go with big Gil Cannon Dwell! Last
Call, These Goods Must be Sold. Last Call!
Once! Twieel LAST CALI Going. Going!
Once. Twice. Threei Three. Times
A\D-SOID
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-26
THE ARBEirER BUND.
Making Roadway Among the
Lower Glasses in Chicago.

CHICAGO, Nov. 25.-Under the guise
of working peoples associations the so
cialists are endeayoring to effect new
organizations, which shall include the
branches now partially disintegrated OF
the various groups, embracing anar-
chists, communists and such other So
cieties that have for their object the
overthrow of the existing governments
and social systems. A meeting for
the purpose of forming one of these
societies was held in this city
this afternoon on West Lake street. The
hall was packed with men and women.
the larger part of whom were anarch-
lists. The proceedings were conducted
in German. and the new organization
was christened the ''Arbeiter Bund."
All persons, regardless of sex or relig-
ious belief. are eligible to membership
upon the payment of 10 cents. The
objects of the society are to organize
the common or lowest classes OF the
people and educate them to such an ex-
tent that they shall be able to reach the
perfection of social liberty as outlined
by anarchy.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-26
PROBABIlY A BLUFF.
The Pennsylvania May Build q
Line of steamers.

Line of Steamers.
DULUTH, Mimi, Nov. sc. G.
Brown, of this city, reports that lie is
in receipt of letter from leading
stakeholder of the Pennsylvania Rail-
road company, one of the party who Wis
tied Duluth this fall, stating that the
company had organized a corporation
with capital stock of Sc, 600, 900 to build
a line of twelve large steamships, six to
carry freight and six to carry both
freight and passengers. to run between
Duluth and Buffalo; that contracts have
been made with ship builders on the
Delaware for building the boats, but
that they would be put together at some
point on Lake Erie. 1t is also said
that there is scheme with a
separate organization to erect mammoth
elevators at Jersey City to receive grain
there for ocean shipment, but nothing
is known about the matter more than
Browns report as to his information.
There is one fact against the Pennsyl-
vania read building a new line OF its
own, and that is that it owns third in
terest in the. Anchor line of boats al
ready running here under the auspices
of the Lake Superior Transit company.
A well-informed vessel man says,
though, that the Pennsylvania evidently
mean some new deal when twenty-five
of its officials paid q visit here and
moved about SO quietly, and it was
well-known fact that the New York
Central was pushing it hard at Buffalo.
He thought the report might be- a bluff.
or that the Pennsylvania interests would
turn out before long to be large owners
of st. Paul Il Duluth, OF that it might
mean all alliance with the Northern Pa
citc
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-26
MARK TwaIN,s CoURTsHIP.
Three Proposals Before the HUI
morist Got yes for an An

Three Proposals Before the HUI
morist Got "Yes'' for an An
swer.
Philadelphia Press.
Mark Twain, if he is in the mood, will
tell the story of his own courtship in a
manner worthy of the greatest of living
humorists. When he first met the lady
who afterwards became his wife he was
not as distinguished as now; his origin
was humble, and for some years of his
life he had been pilot on the MiSsiS-
Slppi river. The future Mrs. Clemens
was woman of position and fortune;
her father was a judge and doubtless
expected family" and social import
ance in his s0n-in-law. Clemens, how
ever, became interested in his daughter.
and after a while proposed, but was re-
jected.
We'll" he said to the lady, 81 didn't
much believe you'd have me, but l
thought I'd try"
After while he tried again, with
the same result, and then remarked
with his celebrated drawl, 81 think a
great deal more of you than if you'd
said es,' but it's hard to hear" A
ChiTd time lie met with better fortune,
and then came to the most difficult part
OF his task, to address the old gentle
man.
Judge" he said to the dignified MILL
lonaire, have you seen anything going
on between Miss Lizzie and me?S
what? What?" exclaimed the Judge,
rather sharply, apparently not under
standing the situation, yet doubtless
getting a glimpse of it from the in
quiry.
Have you seen anything going OH
between Miss Lizzie and me?''
NO, no. indeed!' replied the mag
nate. sternly. mo, sir, have not"
well! Look sharp and you will"
SAD the author of ''Innocents Abroad;
and that's the way he asked the juieial
luminary for his daughters hand.
Mark mas child who inherits some
OF her fathers brightness. She kept
diary at one time, i'll which she noted
the occurrences in the family. and,
among other things, the sayings of her
parents. On one page she wrote that
Iather sometimes used stronger words
when mother wasn't oy and he thought
we didn't hear. Mrs. Clements found
the diary and showed it to her husband,
probably thinking the particular page
worth his notice. After this Clements
did and said several things that were
intended to attract the child's attention,
and found them duly noted afterward.
But one day the following entry oc-
Cured:
IL don't think I'll put down anything
more about father, for think he does
things to have me notice him, and be-
lieye he reads this diary" She was
Marks own child.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-26
HELIoTRoPE.

like the hower--it appeals to me;
It's silent messenger
OF perfume. color, and grace-all three.
Which, whene'er touch or smell or see,
I always think of her.
And out of the past there comes Away 4
(Ah, what so keen as regretD :
The pain and sorrow Of one sad day.
When Fate's stern hand parted us for aye
A day I'll ne er forget
The gown she wore-I recall it well,
A graceful. dainty affair;
Violet in color that can tell, q
And about its folds subtle smell
A perfume fine and rare -
All since that hour have known no hope
But Mem rvs soreerer;
And whene,er those purple blossoms ope,
Or sense tn odor of heliotrope-
l always think of her.
Edith Sessions Taper.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-26
TO.DAY.s WEATHER.

WASHINGTON, Nov. 25.-Indications: For
Upper Michigna and Wisconsin; FAIR sonth-
erly winds; stationary temperature. for
Iowa and Missouri: Fair; stationary tenn
perature, except in eastern portion signify
warmer; southeaserly winds. For MINNIE
sofa: Fair; southesly winds; stationary
temperature. For Dakota: Fair; statlon-
airy temperature in southern portion; siehtiy
colderin northern portion; southeriy WINDS,
shifting to westerly.
WEEKLY RAINFALL REPORT.
limited STATES SIGNAL OFFICE. ST. PAUL"
Nov. %. 1SSS.-Neither rain nor snow mas
been reported to have fallen over that por-
ton of this state comprising the water sheds
of the Minnesota and upper MISSISSIPPI
rivers during the week ending Nov. % 1885
P.F. LYONS, Sergeant Signal corps.
GENERAL OBSERVATIONS
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-26
SURGEON AND SENTRY.
The Former Got into Trouble Be
cause He Cured the Wrong

The Former Got into Trouble Be
cause He Cured the Wrong
Man.
Army and Navy Review.
An army surgeon was one night an
noyed by the coughing Of the sentry
outside his tent. Unable to sleep, he
decided that something must be done
for the man and so compounded him a
strong and very disagreeable dose of
medicine. Then. going out he ordered
the man to take it. The sentry refused
at first politely and afterward angriiy
and einphaticaily. But the surgeon
sternly insisted upon his rights and the
man was finally induced to swallow the
compound.
The result was evidently satisfactory.
The sound OF coughing ceased i'll the
camp, and the surgeon went to sleep
with the consciousness of having done
a good deed. The next morning he was
summoned by the officer in command,
who said to him: elbow 10 this, sir? I
hear serious complaints about you in
relation to the sentries. One of them
has reported that in the middle of the
night you came out OF your tent and
abused him in most shameful manner.
He said you made him swallow drink
which must have been poison. The
guard had been relieved while the sur
geon was compromising his mixture and
he had cured the wrong man.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-26
Remorseful River.

Arkansaw Traveller.
Chicago City Editor Ito reporter)--I
see that in writing up suicide you
refer to ''the cold and remorseless
river" Reporter-Yes. always like to
throw feeling into what l write. City
Editor-That's capital; but did you ever
see a river stricken with remorse. Re-
porter don't know that have. City
Editor-Well. then, go and find one,
and, by the way, don't come back until
you do find one. (The reporter goes
away. Two days later he returns.) City
Editor-Helloa! got back, have you?
Reporter-Yes. City Editor-W ell, did
you find remorseful river? Reporter
i did, City Editor-What river is it?
Reporter-The Mississippi. City Ed
itor- Why remorseful? Reporter-Be-
cause years ago it decided to run by St.
Louis. City Editor .(springing to his
feet)-Young man, take my seat. L re-
Ill.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-26
Already Well on Its Way.

Merchant Traveller.
''There is man whose name will go
down in history said a travelling man
to his companion.
You don't mean it? He looks like a
very ordinary person. He is most too
young to be general
No, he never smelled gunpowder."
SIS he.an actor?"
''Not bit of it,"
politician OF statesman"
No"
''Then how will his name go down in
history?'
'He was ehristened after George
Washington"
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-26
SAUCE FOR BOTH.

How would it do to employ some Of
those Dakota orators now out of job
to go down to Texas and preach division
as the great need. That state is nearly
double the area, and has not greatly
less than four times the Dakota popula-
tion. 1t has been given the authority
by congress to frame four new states at
its pleasure, and eight more Democrats
in the United States senate would equal
ize matters there. The objections to a
big state are as good in the Lone Star
state region as III the. Banana belt. The
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-26
Injured by a Falling Tree.

William Johnson, a laborer residing
in West st. Paul, was brought to the
city yesterday from Chippewa Falls,
where, while engaged in numbering, he
received serious internal injuries by a
tree falling across his stomach. At the
union depot he succumbed from ex-
haustion, and on the order of the city
physician was taken to the city hos
Oital
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-26
He Gave 1t Up.
Boston Courier.

Boston Courier.
Smitli-Then you've given up all idca
of becoming writer?
JOnes-I have.
S.-But heard that you had all YOU.
plans matured, that you were going to
avoid proliXity, write nothing but shsrt,
sharp or contentious sentences. that III
tact. you were to be the great con-
denSer.
y.-Yes, that was my plan exactly.
Sand an excellent one. A writer
working on such plan would find him.
self i'll great demand.
Jim aware of it.
Sa:-Why didn't you carry your plan
out?
J.-.Well, to tell the truth, I could
think about nothing to condenSe.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-26
EIGHT HOURS ENOUGH.
Chicago Socialists Instruct Fed
Grafton Delegates.

CHICAGO, Nov. 25.-About 100 dele
gates were present at secret meeting
OF the American section of socialists
this afternoon. The chairman stated
that the meeting was called for the pur-
pose of instructiEg the delegates who
would represent the trades and labor
assembly of this city at the American
federation of labor, whose convention
begins at st. Louis Dec. II next. After
lengthy discussion the delegates were
Instructed to vote for the eight-hour
movement to take place in 1890 already
outlined by the American federation of
trades.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-26

LA CROSSE is rejoicing over the COM
pletion of one of the finest library build
ings in the West, erected out of the
munificient beauest for the purpose in
the will of c. G. WAsHBURN. 1t is a
grand monument to the. public spirit
and generosity of the giver. There is q
rare opportunity in st. Paul for some
large-hearted favorite of fortune to win
the enduring gratitude of the commu-
nifty ina similar way. 1t is a sort OF
monument that does not require a flu
neral to precede it.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-26
A SWEET KISS.

If two red lps-whate'er the grace
Were yours for just the selling,
And a small plump hand wo uld find place
In yours. for just the Squeezing
How soon the charm would lose its spell;
OF choice you'd do without it.
Be seeking other lips. and-well,
There be no ssdoubt'' about it.
But il you'd longed f6r hoped for cen
A smile by red lips given,
And for q small hands touch, I ween,
Risked even hope of heaven
All then, indeed, you'd know the bliss,
The joy that comes of winning,
The rapture of sacred kiss
Which knows no thought of SHINING.
Annie G. Mcqueen.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-26
JOHN is sHREWD,
And Is Likely to Land This Side
of the Border.

OTTAWA, Ont. Nov. 25.-The I'M
precedented number OF 240 Chinese per-
sons landed at Vancouver, B. c., during
October, and it is utterly impossible
for Canada to absorb the Mongolian
element at this rate. The Inference is
that the objective point is the United
States. That two-thlrds of them will
reach the states is owing to the unpro-
tected state of the boundary line, be-
lieved to be a certainty. 1t is believed
that during the coming session of par
Lament the government will enact
legislation restricting Chinese immi-
grafton
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-26
PRESS OPINIONS.
Initiating Spies.

Louisville Courier-Journal.
The Chicago Tribune seems to be sorely
disappointed because the negroes Of the
South will not rise up and massacre the
whites, and in the expression of its disap-
pointment it publishes an editorial, by the
side of whose infamy that of the writings for
which certain anarchists were hung i'll Chi
cage a year ago are mild.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-26
Allowed DiRerentials.

CHICAGO, Nov. 25.-It is understood
that the transcontlnental lines repre-
sentatives, now at ST. Louis, will adj
journ to Chicago. The meeting OF the
passenger department has resulted in
the st. Paul, the Manitoba and the Can
dian Pacific being allowed differentiaIs
of SO on first and S. on sncond-class
from st. Paul and Chicago to Pacific
coast points.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-26
Tbe American Editors.

CRY OF MEXICO. Nov. PA party
of TO American editors. Ell route to the
City of Mexico, arrived at Saltillo to-
day. They were received by Gov.
Galan. The press association of this
city is making preparations to give the
visitors hearty welcome.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-26
A Happy state.

Plttsburg Commercial Gazette.
All right, Ohio, and Indiana, and New
York, aud the other big Republican states
can sqIlabble among themselves alltheywant
for honorable and lucrative positions under
the Harrison administration. PENNSYLVANIA
wants none of them. Pennsylvania has her
arms tightly wrapped about protection as her
share OF the fight. and her cup Of bliss is run
ming over
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-26
The Difference.

Atlanta Constitution.
The New York World thinks that "a Geor-
gia cracker pinching his dimes is just as sor-
did spectacle as q New York Croesus clutch
ing his Millions Yes; but the combina-
tons of the New York Croesuses sometimes
leave the Georgia cracker mighty few dimes
to pinch.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-26
Doings of Dakota Judges.

Special to the GIODe.
FARGO, Oak. Nov. 25.-Judge Nc
Cornell will go to Wahpeton this morn
ing to hear evidence in the celebrated
case of Hughes VS.. Hersey. Tuesday
Judge Mcconnell will go to jamestown
to try the case in which Judge Rose was
formerly interested as attorney. while
Rose will take the bench at Wahpeton.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-26

long survive as potent force in our politics
if the longest purse is to determine the set
Element of public questions. When it comes
to be understood that our present economic
system is so profitable to the rich, banded to-
gether in trusts aud other forms of monop-
oily that, i'll order to preserve 1t, they are able
and willing to give millions. to debaueh the
poor, to carry pivotal states, and thus obtain
control of the federal government and its
policy, its shrift, it is to be feared, will be
short
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-26

Ii IS announced that the new gov
ernor of Wisconsin will make clean
sweep of all the men he can reach in
Office in that state. They are all Re-
publieans, and there is no objection to
their going out, but they worked and
voted for him. He may be only setting
an example for another party who will
have chance to turn out Democrats
after the 4th OF March.