Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1888-04-06
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Stage whispers are frequently hard in
mail coaches.
Ifyou want to know what a sliding
scale Is try to handle wet fish.
Under the hammer-the nail. Which
nail9 Why, your thumb nail, of course
Witness, did you ever see the pris-
oner at the barr" I" oh. yes; that's
where l got acquainted with him"
At railroad crossing near the depot
in Adrian, Michigan, is a sign bearing
the words: - Prepare to Meet thy God"
What kind of tobacco is this2"
asked the customer. Long cut or fine
cut2" Connecticut, replied the
dealer.
A Kansas City real estate agent was cut
on the cheek recently, and the Philadel-
phia Call suspects it must have been with
a cold chisel
Stranger Ito Washington hotel clerk
twill you direct me to the barroom!"
Clerk-"Yes, sir; follow the process
sion" -Epoch.
"Three scruples make a drachm," is taught
By teachers to their pupils;
Yet drains, if they're too often sought,
Won't add unto your scrupleS.
Judge
Beggar-'Helpl Won't you choke
the dog off, officer? He's killing metz
do you take me FORE Pm an officer of
the S. p. c. A.-Tid. Bits.
There was once a young man quite unique;
For forty -four tongues he could spique
But one day for fOne
He put them in one,
And he christened that one 'Nolapique."
Washington Critic
g, ~ ho
Irishman drank to the Englishman:
'Here's to you as good as you are, and
here's to me as bad as I am; but as good
as you are, and as bad as l am, I'm rs
good as you are as bad as | am"
'sGood evening, Mrs. Ownhair; how
did you like the entertainment last even
ing?' 81 was delighted" "And how
did you like the olio!" II beg your
pardon, Mrs. Smith but we use only the
best creamery butter. "-Boston Tran
script.
George, " asked the teacher of a Sun
day -school class. whom, above all 9TH
ers, shall you wish to see when you get
to heaven2" With face Frightening
with anticipation the little fellow
shouted: ''Gerliah '-B1st0n Christian
Register.
London Truth sums up the record of
Osman Digna, the famous Arab chief, az
follows: Killed, six times; fatally
wounded, three times; severely wounded,
four times; troops totally dispersed, nine
times; permanently discouraged, three
times; escaped, once.
Judge to jury)-"Have you agreed
upon a verdict Is the prisoner guilty
or not guilty of theft, as charged in the
Indictment Foreman-''We have not
yet reached a verdict you honor. L
missed my pocket-book IN the night, and
would respectfully ask that each Juror
be searched. "-Nelo York Sun.
The rooster would be a much more
popular bird if he could only be induced
to feel that there is no real, vital necessi-
ty for his reporting his whereabouts be-
tween midnight and =. II. We know
that he IS at home, in the bosom Of his
family. So are we, but we don't get up
In the night to brag about it.-Burdette.
Don Atenogenes complains bitterly Of
the conduct of his son. He relates at
length 10 an old friend all the young
mans escapades. ''You should speak TO
him with firmness to call him 10 his
duty" says the friend. 'But he pays
not the least attention 10 what / say. He
listens only to the advice OF fools. /
wish you would talk 10 him."-Msrican
Fun.
''Sir," said the prisoner, 81 did rot
pay this man for M refreshments, be-
cause 1 know nothing of the value of
money. 1 never pay my debts. am a
child of genius And what is your
agel" asked the justice. ''Forty-two
years" Then IL is time you were
weaned,1 and his Honor gave him thirty
days away from the bottle. -Neao York