Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1888-10-11
LESSON IN GEOGRAPHY.

LESSON IN GEOGRAPHY.
The geographcrs and natural historians
of this couutry y,il 10 doubt be pleased
to learn that Q most profound scholar in
these branches Of study has been recently
discovered IN q little hamlet ON the Hud.
son, The extent and ~profuudity Of this
FTodigy's researches are Of So Startling
and novel a character that It las been
deemed advisable to give tho partial re-
suits TO the world through the medium of
the press. As tho subjects under con
siderdtion are SO far reaching Ia their
scope, II will be necessary to coniine this
chapter To the Eastern hemisphere, with
special attention to Turkey Ii Europe, and
more especially to Constantiuople ia
Turkey.
1t EYiA be necessary . state at tho out.
set that this remarkable geographic and
natural historian as a freckled, hatless
and shoeless boy known rs Michael Finn,
Jr., heir apparent to the Finn estate on
Cooney island. This estate is so by 100
feet In size, The buildings tire iii The
Irish style Of architecture and consist of
a plain, implanted. one-story structure,
yulgarly known as a shanty, and 4 pig
sly. There is a large and aggressive
mortgage upon the properly, which
Michael Finn, Sr., has been ''nablc to lift,
because Of rheumatism, hara winters and
and. the prevalence Of saloons in the
vicinity
But the probable foreclosure Of the
mortgage and the consequent loss of his
inheritance does not affect the junior Finn
in the least. He has been taught by the
scIoolmaster il tho little red school
house under the hill to rely upon him.
self. 1t must be confessed however, that
little Mike is ret ~ brilliant scholar in
rudimeasary English. Still he can spell
Constantinople, which he did in the fol
lowing manner tho other day when his
mother had company and after sho had
encouraged him with Nav. Mickey. take
yer thumb ont iv yer mouth an spell
that haythen name for yer auntie, that's
a good by" Bashfully hanging his head
little Mike began:
Con. there's yer Con Stt.a-n, there's
yer stan; there's ser Constan. ri,
there's ycr ii, there's yer CONSTANT. No.
there's yer no; there's yer Constantine.
P-u-l, there's yer pul; there's CONSTANT.
nopuI"
Then hts mother flushed with pride, and
Att1 NttiAb ektitttteu III HIS BHIADtHltliftt III tue
following laudatory manner:
LUX a that now! taiX. mrs. Finn,
yer by has a grea. nead. 50 he has.
Musha, hu. this oddecation is a quare
thing. An whore is this place &c were
speliin'. Mickey"
This question staggered Mickey for a
n@iinlte. lla sefatahca his head in Il
thpRghsn i manner, called mentally on his
limited stock of pp0n-qphical Eno1v1r9ra
ana reiiieG az q iia1aIH:
Asy!
an n3' r tl#t 9ot fcit4ca Ila inib.
an le5l mC, MICKEY 's's atlyWhaIc
near lfeiia
N4M .ppi'ed ne bgy' btidiIhg with
4 olsctoV'sAea q tno l@f5ehcs5 n us
lAlotilali9i = = rlght iorninst Afllc
"i'@ w, IN pl''is lia6'''ss 40 ~ oay
- IIra."a-.l las ~ ile9ufe yaiirt
~ I'LL a.oIq "255 '''e..o 'nai 1''f8 on
= ~ 6o|s /, ~ /.
V"' 9", c@ei@l.loG iil5 cunt Fl.93
her ni,hus ~ surprise ~ 4NisAs J,@s
tAey &c VIZ Eh t3esa
NaNes 9asshlsa Y emil.
Vih ~ bGSIa. Edt, ten rao. Mickey
is IL pork s99sidge or boiony sassidge?'
Again little Mike was ~nonplusa2 AZ
ter Q Mite ree9llcctlc3 ppNreyef, ne .c
plied;
stsl dunno, surely, but N alther
thihGln u must be bolony sass - {of
now could they make pork sas7tdgo out
~ q dog!'
'A5hrue fur We Mickey, l didn't think
Q that, But what else is thare sides
Ga9gsF
Vol, thare's alleygGters in iii river
Nle, beyant the city, wild mouths On
them Ike III kitchen dnre. Tnese ami
mails is as long as e bHee, on they comes
up on M shore an, lays there wild
thare mouths open till the little chill
der crawls in. Thin the a~llevgaters swal
leys the childre, clothes an all. widout
amy salt aither. so they do, en- smacks
their lips fur more"
''Ah, III little de.rs. God help them.
An Mickey, does thim animals ate many
o.th' childrega
"Coagee they does, replied this student
&c natural history. They ates all they
can get, an picks their teeth wild til ind
~ their tails, which is sharp as nadlea
jist fur that purpose.
An don't theclsisdge squealg"
''Shure tAag does but tn squ'alin
eomcs too late
can whare's the plIeenin wild thare
clubs?'
"Plicemcnl' scornfally replied Mickey.
"Shure tn haythius don't hay' any use
fur SIGH ann. Musha, they don't care a
ha'poth fur childre 'ceptini they re b'ys.
So it's Only tn gurruls tn alleygaters
ates."
"Och, militia murther, tn haythin blag,
gardsl On. tn nagur thaves An SO
I'm thinkin Tia mothers en- fathers nd be
sittiu' f"orninat tie lurcs watching thin
animals swallvin' tn gtrls. an they look.
in on an winkin' at the a~lleygaters.
Dear. dearl Well, if l had wan ~ thin
Con-stan-ti-no-plu here, do yo know