davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-09-27

esteem It among the most happy incid-
ents of my life. and now, my much
respected. reverend Fl lend. will. by
the consent and in the pres ence of my
most honored council, have the cheese
cut and you will take back with you a
portion OF 1t, with my thanks and pre-
sen it to your people that they all
may have n taste. Tell them never to
falter in the principles they have so
nobly defended; they have successfully
come to the rescue of our beloved
country in the time of Ii er great peril.
l wish them health and pr osperity,
and may milk in abundance never
cease to flow to the latest posterity."
AS arrangements had previously
been made the steward of the white
house came forward and cut the
cheese. A slice was presented to each
guest Everyone tasted and declared
it to be ss near perfection as 1T was
possible for cheese to be.
Elder Leland was greatly delighted
with the whole enterprise. He spent
a few days in Washington and then
left for homo. Another large meeting
was held at Capt John Browns. The
elder gave the whole account of his
trip and the reception OF their present
at the capital. One can imagine the
eagerness and delight with which the
people listened. Each one rece we'd n
small piece of cheese. for the whole
region came to hear. This story IS
still treasured by those who received
it from parents or grandparents.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-09-27
Not a Useful Profession.

81 love you better than my lifeW
He urged; aud she replied, 81 know IL,
But will never be the wife
or any poet"
but think" persisted he, "that
Could make you famous by II sonnet"
81 know" said she, "but could you buy
Me a new bonnetP
81 love you So" he softly sighed;
''You know never would forsake you y
"Of course you do" she said, "'ve tried
My best to make you
'Then tell me why we may not wed,
You love me, and your actions show II.
~ thought told you why" she said
''You are a poet"
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-09-27
FIVE CHEAP HARVEST EXCUR-
SiONS.

Rare Chance To View the Wonderful Crop
OF the West, Southwest and Northwest.
The most abundant ever known. Come
and see for yourself. The Great Rock
Island Route offers you the Inducements
Of lowest rates, and q delightful journey
in its unrivalled palace cars.
Dates Of excursions: Leave Chicago
September IL and %, and October o and
23 1SSS), for Kansas, Nebraska, North
western Iowa, Minnesota and Dakota.
Rate: One fare for the round trip.
Tickets fiji ST class and good 80 days for
return passage. Improve this opportunity.
You may never have another in a season so
bountiful. Be sure your tickets read via
the Great Rock Island Route, which has its
own lines TO principal points in all these
States.
For rates and full particulars, address
VIM. Hickey, Passenger Agent, Davenport,
Iowa, or +. A. Holbrook, G. It. & p. A,
Chicago, Ills.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-09-27
A Problem Solved.

Old Man: IF give my daugh-
ter to you. young man. where will you
take herP" Young Man: "Well. err
1 thought perhaps We might stag here
with you until l can get things
Strengthened out bit" Old man:
"H-m. yes. l had quite overlooked
that easy solution OF the difficulty, but
my house is verv small" Young man:
YES. ! thought Of that, too; but the
idea occurred to mo that possibly the
house could be enlarged. "--Mw FORK
Sua.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-09-27
No Marriage This lime.

Naomi George, say that you will
be mine!" George: Really. this is
very sudden. I-er-I want to marry
girl who can keep house" Il can
keep house. love. am a graduate Of
the cooking-s and can make de-
lightful bread." I'm sorry. but I'm
not a paving contractor and don /
know what / Il do with the bread
Lincoln Journal
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-09-27
The Monkey as a Scientist.

In the interesting little ZOO" con-
nected with the National museum at
Washington. there is fine male grivet
monkey, who shares large cage with
opossuma To human beings he shows
himself anything but amiable. but he
takes kindly to his strange compan-
ions. and they have seen the best
friends from the first. The attention
Of the attendant was lately drawn 10
the cage by the excitement Of a crowd
in front of it. and on going to ascer-
tain the cause he was surprised to see
the monkey seated in the middle Of
the cage with one Of the opossums ly-
ing quie tly on her back on his lap and
her head under his arm. The monkey
had just discovered the marsupial
pouch of the opossum, and was dill
gently investigating it Had he not
been close observer 1t certainly would
have remained unseen. for 1t vas so
tightly closed as to be perfectly invisi-
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-09-27
A Prize orgIOO,OOO

is good thing to get, and the man who
wins it by superior skill, or by an unexpect-
ed turn Of Fortunes wheel, is to be con
graduated. But he who escapes from the
clutches of that dread monster, Consump-
ton, and wins back health and happiness,
is far more fortunate. The chances of win
ming 100000 are small but every cclsump-
tive may be absolutely sure Of recovery, if
he takrs DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical Dis
covery in time. For all scrofulous diseases
Consumption is one of them) it is an I'M
failing remedy. All druggists.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-09-27
A Trif1e Too Has ty.

There may be moral in the follow
ing as related in the Kigston Freeman.
to over sensitive persons: Recently a
man who is employed in factory at
Sleightburgh was taken i'll. During
his absence wooden figure of man,
such as is used as a target for balls to
be thrown at, was left at the factory to
be painted. When it was painted il
was placed against the absent work
ingman's bench to dry. The next day
the man returned to work. The first
thing that he saw on entering
the factory was "a wooden man"
standing at his bench. He took it rs
a reflection on his standing as work
man "that a wooden man could do
as good work as he could" He be-
came infuriated. and, grasping a
Ratchet, he split the wooden image in
to kindllngs. When he was told tina,
the figure had been left there to be
painted, and it was owned by man
in Rondout, he was greatly chagrincd.
and said he supposed he would have 10
replace it. He will not be so hasty
another time.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-09-27


Remarked to q friend Che other day
that she knew that Kemp's Balsam for
the Throat and Lungs was superior rem
edy, as it stopped her cough instantly,
when other cough remedies had no effect
whatever. So TO prove this and convince
you of its merit, any druggist will give you
a Sample Bottle Free. Large size soc and 81.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-09-27

Green and brown are much worn togeth-
er now, as well as gray with blue and
mignonette with ruby The overdress in
polonaise form is of the darker tint, and
the skirt has rows of ribbon to match
around it at the bottom.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-09-27
A Bad Cow at a Funeral.

A trifling incident transpired at q
funeral in Bungree, Victoria, the other
day. The pall-bearers and other Of
licials were in the act of bearing the
remains of the late lamented from the
cemetery gates to the grave. and the
friends and relatives followed sadly in
the wake. allowing their bitter tears
TO filter through large handkerchiefs,
when one-horned. bony COW. with
fiery eye and an elevated tail, bore
down on the cortege and butted the
gentleman who bore the coffin into q
condition of rags and incapacity, the n
she skipped about, frolicked along
Sideways trod upon the procession,
and wore holes in it with her solitary
horn, after which the remainder of the
mourners sought comparative security
on top of tombstones and in other
elevated positions, leaving the dead
and wounded on the field of action.
The grave-digger subsequently divert
I'd the cows attention with spade.
and the funeral terminated with a
prayer.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-09-27

The convention of New England road
masters is discussing the best form of
curve. The choice seems to lie between a
swift inshoot and a slow drop.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-09-27
She Couldn't Understand IL.

"What in the world has happened to you
since the last time l saw youi' asked one
lady of another when they met on the
street the other day; II can't understand
it. Then you were pale, haggard and low
spirited, and l remember you said that you
hardly cared whether you lived or died.
To-day you look ever so much younger, and
that your low spirits have taken flight"
Eyes, indeed was the reply; land shall
tell you what drove them awayl 1t was
DIR. Pierce's Favorite Prescription. l was
a martyr TO functional arrangement until
began taking the Prescription Now 1
am as well as l ever was in my life. No
woman who suffers as did, ought TO let an
hour pass before procuring this wonderful
remedy"
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-09-27

There is many slip 'twixt the cup and
the lip. The safest way is to drink out CT
n bottle.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-09-27

Shoes for the house and carriage wear
were never so fanciful as now, but no wom-
an with the least claim TO fashion will wear
upon the street ANYTHING but plain fine kid.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-09-27

The coal dealers slate is as much dreaded
by those who pay cash as by those who do
not
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-09-27

The psyche knot is doomed, according to
fashion makers, aud the coming season will
find it quite passee. Its entire disappear
ance need not be expected for some time
vet, however
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-09-27

II afflicted with sore eyes use Dr. Isaac
Thompsons Eye Water. Druggists cell It. 25c.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-09-27

when Baby was sick, we gave her Castoria,
When she was a Child, she cried for Castoria,
When she became Miss, she chung to Castoria,
When she had Children, she gave tcem Castoria
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-09-27

A philosopher, in discoursing upon various
| incidents of the summer campaign, notes
that when the hammock Dreams down, the
occupant is broken up
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-07-21
Yellowstone National Park, Pacific
 Coast and Alaska.

The Yellowstone Park is unques. tionably attracting more attention al the present time as tourist resort than any other place on the face oi the earth. This spot Is reached by rail only by the Northern Pacific rail road, the famous dining car line to the Pacific coast, the only one of the trans continental lines running dining cars of any description whatever. A book ticket will be sold at the eastern ter minals of the Northern Pacific for sil0.00, including rail and stage trans portation, meals on dining cars, Pull man, and five days accommodations south of Livingston in the park.
 The Alaska tour is also one that is attracting wide attention. The rates and facilities offered for making this trip are better rtd the Northern Pa- ciic railroad than by any other line. The attractions offered en route vfa the Northern Pacific, such as the ride through the Lake Park region of Min nesota, by the great wheat fields of Dakota, along the Yellowstone river and Clark's fork of the Columbia, through the famous Spokane Falls re- zion, over the Cascade range, by the Palisades of the Columbia, Puget Sound, etc., together with the supe- rior accommodations offered, make a trip ria this route especially epjoya- ble. By writing Chas. $. Fee, gen. eral passenger agent, N. F. R. H., St. Paul, Minn., you will receive copy of Wonderland" and other books de- scriptive of the Yellowstone Park, Alaska and the country in general traversed by the dining Car and Yel- lOwsf0na Park routeo
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-07-21
Big Bugs On the Ship.
Philadelphia Record.

The mate of the newly arrived British bark "Douglas" from Montc- vcdeo, tells the biggest bug story oi the season, and it Is no romance. The voyage from the river Plata to Phila- delphia was one long fight with myr- iads ot loathsome insects, swarminv up through the matches from the ] cargo of bones below, moro dreadful than continuous tempest and more irrepressible than hunger on an un- provisioned raft.
 Barrels of the pestiterous bugs were scooped from the vessels hold after her arrival at this port, and the painful nature of the ordeal through which crew and officers had passed on the voyage. was shown in their drawn conferences and discolored skin. A half bushel of small crawling things, with dirty brown backs and q wormy squirm, crawled about the after part of the deck as the mate told tho pain ful story of the voyage and pointed them out as the living evidence of his narrative. "We have been fighting these torments ever since we left Montevideo," said he, "and 1t has been a painful struggle, in which the crew were not always sure of a survival. We lay for many days at anchor in the river Plata awaiting an advance in freights which never came, and fin- ally in despair took on cargo of bones for Philadelphia. None of us will ever forget that cargo or the voyage which followed"
 The bones had been gathered from the plains of the Argentine Republic and Uruguay, and were hurriedly lightered on board, the flesh still re- maining on the inside of the skulls and on the vertebre.
 We had hardly landed our Spanish pilot before unwelcomed passengers began to appear from below the matches and make themselves ac- quainted with the halyards, store rooms and the sleeping apartments. When we came into the warm lati- tude of the equator their attacks were terrible, and nights sleep was im- possible.
 The bugs would creep through any thing, and at night would crawl into our mouths and ears. Often the crew were compelled to seek refuge in the rigging, and the men stretched hammocks between the masts to avoid the bugs.
 When the "Douglas" arrived here the insects had multiplied by the thousands, and after the cargo had been discharged It became necessary to resort to sulphur fumea to rid the vessel of them before another cargo could be taken on board. Bushel after bushel of the asphy xiated pests were taken out of the hold.
 The sailors on the "Douglas" declare that in all their lives on the ocean, and in all the stories they had heard of strange things at sea, their experience on this voyage was the strangest, and that nothing could induce them to ship for the Plata again If the return voyage shall be made with cargo of South American bones.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-07-21
Millionaire Writsra of Prose and Poetry.
 Troy Tamea.

Millionaire Wtitera of Prose and Poetry. Troy nmea,
 asked Colonel Hay one day as to his writing of poetry and whether he had written any lately. He replied that his poetic writing lasted but two or three weeks, He is, think, a 1t. tie ashamed of his dialect poetry, and he did not cAro to make reputation In this linc. As 1t ia, | doubt not that his "Little Brccohess will be quoted in many places where his history will never be thoroughly read nor his work "Castilian Days. be known. The world would havo gotten moro out of him had fortune dealt lees kindly with him, but as it is he is doing moro than his sharo among the mill lionaircs of the United States,
 Our milllonaircs of to-day, how ever, arc by no means literary nonen- ties. Somc of the most striking books of this decade have bccn written by rich men, and you will nowhere hnd more brains and figures In short compass than In Andrew Carnegic's triumphant Dcmooracy,s Mir. Book walter, the Springfield, O., million airc, has written some good politico- economical trcatiscs, and Leland Stan- forl could writc \ very interesting book If he tried. 1ake the million. aires of to-day In the United States, and you will find no brighter and better rad mon than thcy arc. They arc, as rule, men of education and culture. Their heads arc full Of ideas, and they arc far different from tho hereditary rich mon of foreign coun- tries. They are as ii rule good talkcrs, and many of them are worry fluent writers.
 Senator Tom Palmer can write as beautiful Rn essay aa the best of our httcrdte4rs. William Walter Phelps contributes ablo articles to tho mnga- zines. and Jay Gould began his lifc by writing history Of New York county. Some of the brAiniest men of the United States senate arc tho rich men. and tho business of the govern ment is undoubtedly better of in the hands of mon who have shown that they knew how to manage their own affairs before undertaking to direct those ot Uncle sam.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-07-21
THE FAITHLESS LOVER AND
 THE MOON.
BY pANsHE pANRIpaE.

I see the marred Moon in the day; How pale she is! She steals away. Like beast the stag hounds track, She flies and never turneth back. If could know what she must know, shrieklng maniac would go. Many Q loathsome, ghastly sight,
 Frightful slns and deadly deeds;
 Hateful acts as common as weeds; No wonder she is pale with fright. She looks on horrid my stories, And never shuts her shrinking eyes; She sees where the murdered corpse is hid. Where the miser opens his coffer's lid; She hears the cries of the struggling wife; She hears the children plead for life; She knows the pity of lives of shame;
 Every night she gaZes on Brutish acts without a name;
 No wonder she is pinched and wan. The Sun on many 8 crime looks down; Many a crime in many town; Many time he drinketh blood; Ev,l he sees and much of good; But he Is bold and bright and strong, And he thinks he knows the right of wrong; He scatters his bounty everywhere, And smiles with hearty devil may care, A brave old optimlst is he; But the moon is timid as she can be, For all the treasure under the ground, Iwould not find what she has found. o Moon you watched us on that night Lingering in your softened light; Alone, full faced, you saw us stand, Heart to heart and hand in hand, Our breaths were quick, our lips were hot, You know whether they met or not. Flit on, filt on, OCT heavens floor,
 And carry on your pallid face,
 Until you wither in your place, One secret more, one secret E0rc. If the Judgment Day be late or soon, know that the Spirit of the Moon Will stand as a witness at the rail, And, shuddering, begin her tale; Every secret open wide, Naught forget and nothing hide; But till the dooming day shall come The pale faced coward must be dumb, Till every evil be confessed, She may not rest, she may not rest.
 -CoSmopo titdn.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-07-21

A Kentucky editor tried to run a steam laundry and weekly news newspaper at the same time. His laundry work was so much more sat- isfactory than his editorial work, that he concluded to drop the paper and devote all his giant intellect to the former profession. His laundry sub- scribers don't get their choler up and come in to interview him with a horsewhip. And he is not told three or four times day how to run his laundry Norvisto,cn Heyald.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-07-21

Metropolitan Editor-"Write an able article carefully reviewing the topography and population of Gen. tral Africa, the dangers incident to travel from men and beasts, give the line of Stanley's probable march and your conclusions regarding Stanley's probable fate"
 Assistant-"I don't know anything about it."
 "Neither does any one else. It's a splendid subject tor fine writing."- Omaha World.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-07-21

An Unexpected Answer - "Dar- ling," said he tenderly, "I have made up my mind to ask toto ask you"
 "Yes," she whispered, breathlessly. "To ask you to become my wife. l know, dearest, that it is bold, it is presumptuous for me to do 90. You are so much superior to me. I am, feel, unworthy of yon, but -"
 "But what, dearest?"
 "Half a loaf is better than no bread. -Boston Courier.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-07-21

Stranger, we'uns want to know if if-n
 He couldn't get it out.
 "You want to know what Pm doing here" suggested.
 "That's it."
 "Well, Pm travelling for health and to see how you people live"
 "Whar from?"
 Michigan"
 "Then you'un is a Yank?"
 "Yes."
 "And you fit into the war?"
 "Yes."
 "And you walloped us'"
 "Yes.n
 "And you ain't 10 spy?"
 "Never p
 Stranger, believe you. Put it thar! Nobody who fit into the war would be mean huff to come spyin'. Jlst feel right to home. All we've got belongs to you"
 In the evening three or four moun- taineers dropped in, one of whom was accompanied by his wife. The women used their snuff sticks, the men lighted their pipes, and as starter, the host turned to me with:
 Stranger, whar is that Michigan?"
 "North of Ohio."
 "Many people up thar?"
 "Plenty."
 "Twenty thousand?"
 "Detroit alone has twenty times that number"
 He winked at each man in turn, and l heard the visiting female exclaim to herself:
 "Oh, Lord! please forgive him fur lyin'."
 "Been on steamboat, I reckon" queried the host, after time.
 "Yes."
 "More'n one?"
 "Fifty, presume"
 He winked again, and the visiting female sighed:
 "Oh, my soul! what 8 dreadful liar!"
 "Mebbe you hey seen the ocean '" remarked one of the men after signal to the rest that he would draw me out.
 "I have"
 "Reglar ocean?"
 "Yes."
 There were three whistles of aston- ishment, and the visiting females clasped her hands and appealed
 "Oh, Lord! don't lay it up agin him this time, fur he killed the bar '"
 It was now the turn of an old man, who had thus far preserved the strict est silence. He cleared his throat, un- crossed his legs, and observed
 "And reckon you may have sawn the president"
 "Yes, sir"
 "What! You hev!" exclaimed all in chorus.
 "Certainly, and shaken hands with him."
 "Oh, Lordy! Oh, my soul! but how has he got the narve to lie so '" whispered the women, while the oth- CTS uttered a sort of groan over my wickedness.
 There was deep silence for several minutes, and then the visiting female leaned forward and said to her hus- band across the room:
 "Joseph, aix him about balloons and telephones?"
 "I have seen balloon," I replied.
 "Lands but listen to him"
 "And have talked through tele- phone"
 "How many times?"
 "Five hundred"
 The women dropped their snuff sticks, and each man half started up. They looked from one to another and then at me, and by and by the visiting female slipped off her chair with the words:
 "Pore an needy feller- sinners, let us pray fur him."
 And Pm writing you the solemn truth when I tell you that prayer went clean around the room, and it was all for my benefit.
 Next day when I was ready to go the mountaineer gave me a hearty shake of the hand, called the children up to bid me goodbye, and as I started off he whispered:
 "If ye stop with any of the boys to- night, cut it of short whar ye saw the ocean. The hull of it is too much for one dose !"-Defron Free Press. Metropolitan Editor-"Write an able article carefully reviewing the
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-07-21

"By the way, MT. Straddles, which is the most general term, poet or po- etess2"
 Mir. Straddles-"Poet.0
 "Can you give me reason for it?" "1 think 90, air. It is probably be- cause 'a poet is born, not maid. .'" Nesc Haren Nescs.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-07-21

If the human race was evolved from the apes, it at least has the satisfaction of knowing that its ancestors were in- telligent-they were educated in the higher branches.-Nesc Fork Tribune.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-07-21

you can't marry . girl that's too far above you, you, perhaps, might marry one of your owp sighs.-NeU York Nescs.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-07-21
Companion Pietures.

The historical pictures of the "Ark- ans9w Traveller" and "The Turn of the Tune," together with the original dialogue and music of the "ArkanMw Trsveler," 1" mailed to any address on receipt of forty cents. Read & Ben- ham, 296 Dearborn St., Chicago, Ill.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-07-21

Are you going to Chicago via Gin. cinnah or LoufsvfiIe7 If Q, buy your ticket by the Nonon" route It is the daisy line between the Ohio river cities and Chicago.