Mohave County miner., 1888-09-15
A FAMILY PICNIC.

GOOD heavens! Julia Elizabeth, never
mention anything Of that sort 10 me, ("
and after that one ebuilition Of wrath,
settled back In my chair and serenely
perused the evening papers. Berenely, j
say; well lappeared 10 bs In q perfectly
undisturbed state Of mind. but any fair
minded reader who cap well understand
the-well, the envlronment--will at once
perceive that saint couldn't stand such
suggestion, and never even pretended
TO be one, though know ! am as good as
the average man.
II was little rough on my wife, I'll
admit, and | suppose l shall raake IL up
10 her In some way, but Ill be drawn into
any kind OF extravagance, take trip 10
japan, go into the wilds VI Africa, do
anything, before I'll ever again submit to
the torturous experiences Of q family
picnic, and I'm man of spirit when Pm
aroused
You occasionally find one who is led
around by bis wife and her relations. but
I'm not the individual
Perhaps you do not unde1ytand. but
when things are too exasperatiriy Irelieve
my mind by sharing my experience with
an imaginary reader, feeling Rire of his
sympathy.
lullaby the way, It Is only ir.noments
Of great excitement call her iyF her full
name--lcft the room Immediately after
refused the invitation that had tome from
her mother and sisters and cousins, etc,
10 Join them In their annual outing.
A few years ago, remember, IL was
really pleasant affair. We used TO sail
up the river, land on an island for dinner,
sail farther up stream, go ashore, wander
around for a time and then return by
moonlight; but last years experience was
more than mortal man can endure and iD
q seraplic way hear the Internal kind Of
affair again mentioned.
Why, we started, rs they alI do, with
baskets and bundles, gossamsrB and urn.
brellas, wife and children piled into the
coach that took us to the wharf, where we
embarked ON the little steamer that has
taken the place of the boats we used In
former days. .......
most Of the time, so the voyage was com
paratively uneventful, though Alph sue
ceeded In putting his feet On one Of the
baskets, thereby denolishing the custard
pies that occupied the top for safety %
Bin D1i SFtAbuA o. LllAh ti&SC u ilAu
earelessly placed beside the basket; but
those were minor matters.
The first hour things went on pretty
smoothly. A few went fishing for fish
they didn't catch; the girls---I mean my
wife's young sisters--with soIns half
dozen cousins and friends, angled too, not
and noticed not for the same kind Of
fsh, but they angled.
Now time was when I could catch fish
every time threw fly, and I'll leave 1t
10 any other fellow TO say II ii isn't about
as fascinating sport as man ever ex-
periences, especially when he is the sue
cessful one of the crowd. This time,
however, though Mary's husband, my
cousin Helen and Jim, with Julia In the
boat with them, rowed away to the
shadiest nook they could find, they seemed
maid. for Mother-in- law Spiller said, "0f
course you'll go, Julia; get right into the
boat. You've had care enough Of those
children, and John and viii see TO them
today and lot you have day Of rest"
What could do but insist upon It, too?
did really wish the dear girl TO have an
EHJOJdDiE IllBltg DNk LuS--HGlls
what proposed 10 say-Trn not growler
like some men; / never was. but suffice 1t
to say, Julia went, and was glad Of 1t,
of course. ..
Her mother, with few other elderly
ladies, stayed to arrange the lunch, that
appeared to them TO be the cfdef attrac-
tfon. Uncle Ben devoted himself to tho
boys for short time, but Mother-in-law
El.tl Id A.. A
lemons and prepare the kinGlings and
wood they would need for the "fry," and
sundry other things that always fall TO
his lot. Somebody, you know, has to be
general utility man On such occasions, and
Uncle Ben, fortunately for the rest, was
always the one. When was more Of O
youngster, used TO pity him, but since
I'm paterfamilias of several years stand
ing, imagine the sly twinkle Of his eye
means more than / once suspected, and
my sympathy turns to admiration and
envy.
John, look sharp after the boysl-
called out Mrs, Spiller.
Alph was tugging at my coat sleeve,
and Del had both hands In one Of my
pockets, bat remarked pleasantly, ''!u
keep them In sight"
~ ~GSu jDliB DSiOIS olpu was pu1Cns
ing Del, and Del was striking out In a
forcible II not scientific way. II took con.
siderable muscle 10 separate the young
beiHgerents, bat that wasn't all. Their
grandmother saw the performance, and
expressed her disapproval by saying In
her most digniied way, "a man who can.
not control his own temper Is not fit to be
father, " and then with lschrylnal glands
In working order. added, Thank heaven,
Julia did not witness this scene"
j most ignoTainiously retreated--that
Is, / did not utter one word, / merely
picked up the two urchins, and went on
an exploring tour.
rolled on the grass and let them crawl
over me. played ''leap frog and "hot
oven" with them. barred my feet and
waded out as far as the water was shall
low, carrying one on my back while I led
the other through the stream, and to cap
the whole ! made one misstep and went
headlopg into the water.
The boy on my back bouncei of, and
the other one tumbled down and clung to