San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1888-03-22
Accommodating the Art of Skating.
From the Farm and Garden.


From the Farm and Garden.
Last year, learned to skate on the
natural acclimstized version Of water.
Previous to that time my skating had
been confined to roller Kinks, where you
wander and grope on wheels and 60
round and round in circle until your
brain walks of by itself and your diges-
ton oreeps away and takes an invoice.
Skating on rollers always seemed to me
a mild but pronounced form Of circular
idiOoy. You investigate the rink on one
side and then on the other, and Occa-
sionally you stop and kick yourself in
the back Of the neck with your collection
Of wheels. But Ii doesn't do any good.
You can't make any progress, and at the
end you find yourself just where you
started out, with nothing to show for 1t
but degree OF patience that has corns
on 1t and a pair OF ankles that want to
| lie down and die.
| Skating on ice is different. In it, you
add a few extra diseOmfOrts to your
previous disadvantages. You are dead
certain to have lots OF fun, however, the
| first time you 20 and have the ice rise
up and visit you In the cerebral region.
[ speak with the voice OF experience and
the echo Of a mustard plaster. l have
been there and none OF my sallow and
reluctant jokes can disguise the fact
that l sat down with a whole row Of
italics to emphasize nv attitude.
deserved all got. l was impaled on
myself and fancied that l had skating
down fine. Instead. learned that it had
truth without regard to age, sex, color
or previous condition of moral turpi-
tude. At those places where l missed
my footing and other valuables and sat
down on the cold, zero ice with large,
curly bang. l am not going to dispense
with the truth by assuming that did 1t
in order to warm and cheer up the ice,
or that | sat down to tighten strap on
my steel-clamp skates.
The mischief Of 1t was that the first
time l tried to skate on hard water,
invited girl to come with me. birdie,
and accumulate the art. didn't know
this girl very we'll, having only born her
HON once or twice from different places
of amusement. But | had met her at
roller Kinks, where | had seen her limp
ing around on rollers with wild enthusi-
arm and demonstrating a mixture OF at
titude which might have been st. Vitus'
dance or a bad kick from a horse.
thought che would be good candidate
to take through the first degree and
ehafe the cold, cherries ice into warmth
and life. So took her down to the
creek.
We had considerable time getting |
The young lady evidently |
fancied that was present for the sole |
and exclusive purpose Of getting my |
back full Of large, ripe |
She seemed to fancy that |
It was fun for me to kneel down on the |
zee for weeks at time and toy with her
because it had a faculty Of want
ing to walk on top. Young ladies seem
to fancy that II they can't skate much
and the ice has n tendency OF wanting to
lie on their brows, all they need to do Is
10 call their escort and let him kneel |
Town on the Joe and examine the skate
while the water soaks int o bis
knees and he strums the light cstarrh.
Well. we got started at length. Then
We both fell down-alsO at length. For
the part Of the creek where we |
we're at work was isolated and We did
not play to very big business. No one
Vas around to applaud. but we respond
I'd to the encore. The girl was horrible
izzle on ice She was next the poorest
'kster ever saw. The poorest skater
aOe was next 10 was me. SDo was me
,nly girl ever saw with ankles made
,ut Of jelly, and when she went to limp
ng around and walking on the skates
ls though both runners had ingrowing
oe-nails, had all / could do 10 keep
rom picking up something and killing
Ter severely. would have done 80 if l
could have got over to her.
| told her she must have confidence
md strike out. She said she would II it
vas her turn st the bat. This caused me
o laugh and made 1t possible for me to
all down and tear off several shingles
rom the roof OF my mouth. am the
lrst instance OF man who can fall fiat
N his palate.
The last time we tried 1t, and fell, l
,Ot tired OF the noise and hustle of the
was wire-and told her be-
ieved we would quit. 1 thought they
night want to cut the ice some day and
hen would not like to have it all bruised
md black and blue.
4
We went up town to q physician and
eft our measure for some haDd-me down
uits OF sticking plaster. paid the bill
With q dangerous glitter In my eyes.
"What school does that doctor belong
OF" asked my companion, pleasantly, as
he stepped suggestively on my toe and
cad six confectionery signs in one
guare.
i ratified the pennies he had given me
n aXchRn0e for nv hill and said hit