Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1888-03-28
AN AMUSING YARN
How an IIiiterate Ohio Postlnaster EZRA
flad,, With the MALI

How an fiiiterate Ohio POFtnaster ssRas-
tied" With the Mails.
Washington CO respondent of the Bal.
timore American is authority for the follow
ing story: Civil-Service Commissioner Ed.
gerton told one of the best stories of how
a fourth-class postmaster ran his Office in
Ohio. Mr.. Edgerton vouches for the truth
Of his story, and here 1t is: 1t was a small
crossroads post Office, andthe pos tmaster
had two pretty daughters, but-alas for
the public schools Of that locality -
neither the posImas ter nor the two pretty
daughters could read writing. In fact. it
was difficult for them to read any thing.
even il printed in letters As large as the
side of house. How he ever came to be
appointed is a mystery, yet he held his
COMMISSION, and for a long time fulfille1
his duties in a satisfactory manner.
Every body wondered how he cou'd dis
tribute his mail, because the post-ofice
was q station for distr ibution of the mail
to another route.
As this post-office, which we will call
Skidunk for short, was the nearest the
railway station the mail for large city
went though 1t. It was the postmaster's
duty to take out his mail, and to send the
rest, due for the city, on by the carrier.
Therefore, the people who patron lied
Skidunk were greatly surprised to know
that the mail went on regularly, because
they knew that neither the postmaster
nor his pretty daughters could read; but
at last the mystery was explained. The
postmaster had a maid servant who could
read writing to perfection. So, between
the four, they distributed the mail. the
maid servant doing the reading and the
girls the distribution under her instruc-
tions. 1t all went on very well for some
time, but a gay Lothario came upon the
scence, won the heart of the servant girl,
and carried her Off.
The day she left the postmaster was in
a terrible dilemma. In vain he tried to
think out a plan by which he and the
girls could decipher the writing
and send the mail on to Flytown,
which was the name of the city.
After taking his dinner he went out to
await the arrival Of the mail, which was
due In about ten minutes, when he hap
pened to cast his eye along the porch, and
standing at one end he noticed one of the
old-fashioned wheat-fans-one of those
instruments in which they put lot of
grain in the hopper. and, by turning a
crank, the fans separate the grain from
the chaf. An idea struck him, and he
went into the Office to see the girls.
Say, girls" said he. summoning them
to him, II am going of for an hour or So
and il the mail comes you distribute 1t for
Flytown."
The girls looked at him is establishment
and he explained:
20, never you mind. Just you take the
mailbag, dump the contents into the hop
per of the fan, turn the handle Just as fast
as both Of you can, and all the letters
that fy out you send to Flytown, and
those that fall through in the grain hop
per you keep here"
The old man departed. Soon the mail
came along. The girls opened it, dumped
the contents into the hopper, and both
took hold Of the handle; and the way
they made that old fan revolve was a
caution. The wind blew through the
opening and the letters flew out like white
wings that never grow weary. These
they gathered up and sent on to Flytown:
the ones that fell through staid at the
post-office.
1t is not necessary to say that both the
patrons of Flytown and Skidunk found
their mails little irregular. and the con-
sequence was that a number of letters
came to Washington; and now the old
fan has run down and the post
master is looking for another job, while
the two pretty daughters sit at the front
window and try to mash the dudes of
Skidunk as they pass by.