Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1888-12-19
SKELETONS.
How Their Use Wrought Confusion
in DR.. Sparkle's Church..

man in small way. He was the vicar
OF an important suburban church,
wherein a highly respectable and not
wholly unintelligent congregation was
wont to assemble for worship. In
that congregation the pastor had no
enemies, while he could boast of q
large number of thorough-going and
ardent admirers. The man was adj
mittedly well-tit|ed tor his post. He
was kind-hearted, liberal-minded,
quick-witted, fluent speaker, and, in
the opinion of many, thoughtful as
well as eloquent preacher.
But, in truth, ''thoughtful'' was Just
what DR.. Sparkle was not. His great
dif1iculty-and one that increased
weealy-was about ideas. When he
knew what to say he could say it we'll.
No man could produce more brill
liant coruscation" or effective fare-up
from a paltry amount of material; but
then, the fuel had to come from some
where. and that was the doctors diff
Guilty. He had reputation to main
tain, and he was fully, almost pain
fully, conscious of the fact. When
Mr. Grundy. the peoples, warden, in
vited friend home for Sunday he
would say: 'Tho nissus will do the
best she can to provide bit of dinner,
and we can promise you good sermon,
ut all events Grundy, who was a
good fellow, though a jerry-builder,
used to repeat his little joke to the
parson, and no doubt he was a fair
representative of many others in the
congregation.
Under these circumstances and being
eorely harassed by the recurrent dry
ing up OF the well-spring of his ideas,
DR.. Sparkle had his attention arrested
one morning by an artfully- worded cir
cular which he found among his letters.
1t began as follows: q,
STRICTLY PRIvArE.-Ad Czerun.
Moved by the spirit of sympathy, and actual
ed. as he humbly hopes, by q desire to promote
the highest ends, tho writer addresses himself
TO his overweight and sorely oppressed breth-
rem. Having had an exceptionally wide expert
ence OF parish work in town and country among
rich and poor, educated and ignorant he be-
leves himself to be fully conversant with the
tastes and requirements Of each separate class
In the community. No one better thon the
present writer knows what it Is to have to pre.
pare-am1d q multitude Of other vocations-
.tWo. three or more sermons a week. He has
suffered himself. and can, therefore, feel for his
brethren who ore suffering. Accordingly he ia
anxious, 1T the lowest price that will cover
actual outlay, to impart to his brethren the re-.
suits Of sermon production which has been per-
hirvao of 49,
and profound study.
After a good deal more of this sort
of thing. the circular went on to ex-
plain that clients could be provided
either (D with the finished article, i.
e., a Autographed sermon ready for
Immediate delivery, and carefully
adapted to any specified class of hear
ers; Or (2) with a NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.,
Or skeleton, containing outlines, Illus
trations, applications, etc., which
could be filed in or amplified accord
Ing to the taste and talents of the pur-
chasers. Finally, guarantee was
given that the same sermon or body of
notes would never be sent to two cler-
gymen residing within fifty miles of
each other, and that, as far as posi-
bic, yet wider area of distribution
would be observed. .a $751;.
Dr. Sparkle smiled as he read the
bombastic document, and was about to
throw it into the waste-paper basket,
when something stayed his hand.
II wonder whether many clerpvmen
avail themselves OF this sort of thing.
my dearp" he said, tossing the circular
10 his faithful wife, who generally sat
with him for an hour of a morning.
"To deliberately get up and read an
other mans sermon seems to me abso-
lutely sinful
''Bnt all men are not gifted like you,
Lethe, dear; and I suppose there are
sc1ne Who find it very difficult to preach
q good sermon, suggested Mrs.
sparkle. pa
III is the dishonesty Of the thing
thar shocks me, " explained the Doctor.
eli man can't write sermon, or