davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1888-11-24
SELLING OFF AT COST.
A New Explanation of a Very Ancient
Mercantile Phrase.

n NOW INplHnHJlOn OF very Ancient
Mercantile Phrase.
We met Muggins the other day in o
quandary. He stood upon the street
corner contemplating a pair of gloves
which he held in his hand. We ac-
costed him, and asked why he thus SOL
EMMY meditated. He gave sudden
start and looked up.
"Ah! Ah-a-ah! D'you see these
glovesP"
We saw them.
"D'you know Smokington?"
We knew him.
"Well," explained Muggins, II was
coming by Smokington's this morning,
and | saw, stuck up all over the front
of his store, big signs Of Selling of
at Cost" Thinks to myself Here's
a chance;' and i went in and bought
these gloves and half dozen linen
handkerchiefs. / asked Smokington
was he selling to me at cost, and he
said: Certainly / carried the hand
kerchiefs home, and asked my wife to
hem them. She asked me what | paid
for them; and when | told her, she
laughed, and said I'd been cheat
ed. They were not linen at
all-only cotton-and she could
buy any quantity of them for just one
half what / had paid. wouldn't be-
lieve her. | knew-or thought knew
-Smokington to be man of honor, ]
came out and put on my new gloves.
They ripped. Jones saw 'em, and ask
ed what paid. told him. He laugh
ed and said I'd been cheated. He could
sell the very same article for less than
half what l had paid.
"Now, what l want to know is: Is
Smokington a cheatP Has he been
lying to meP"
We asked Muggins why he didn't go
down and ascertain. He wanted us to
go with him; and we went.
We found Smokington very smiling
and very busy, customers plenty, and
goods going off at rush; but at length
Muggins managed to draw him aside
when he spoke as follows:
'Look here, Smokington, old boy,
you've cheated me-"
"EhP-cheated, Mr.. Muggins? Real
ly, don't see it."
Didn't you tell me you were selling
me these things at cost, and amt yor
telling every body so by the signs
you've got stuck up?"
Smokington smiled, and said:
Certainly"
"Well," demanded Muggins, witt
immense assurance and indignation
"do you mean to say that you sold me
these gloves, and these cotton handker
chiefs, at costP"
Certainly"
"Smokington, I thought you were I
man of honor"
my dear Muggins," said the trader
with smile that was fairly bewitch
ing, "you don't understand these things
It's all right. | sold it to you just as
said. Of course | could not afford Il
sell goods for what they cost me.
am selling off al cost to The customer
Dyou see it nowp"
Muggins considers himself enlight
ened in the especial commercial de
partment Of Selling off at Cost" blu
he thinks he shall never be able to pu
full confidence in Smokington again
NJ Y. Herald.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1888-11-24
Cure Of Peneumonia.
HESS ROAD, NIAGARA Co., N. Y,
March "a, 1896.

HESS ROAD, NIAGARA Co., N. Y,
March "a, 1896. !
About year ago | was taken with
a severe pain in both lungs. / was
first attacked with a violent chill,
then dreadful pain and then cough
accompanied by considerable fever.
1t looked very much like bad attack
of pneumonia. A friend of mine
procured five ALLCoCK's PLAsTERs.
One he put under each arm, one
under each shoulder blade, and one
on my chest close around my throat.
In a few hours the cough ceased, the
pain gradually abated and l broke
out in profuse perspiration. l fell
into profound sleep, and the next
day was almost well. l wore the
Plasters eight days afterwards, and
have never had any trouble since.
WILLIAM A. SAWYER.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1888-11-24

Positively the best remedy ever
discovered for all diseases Of man;and
beast that can be reached by external
medical application, is Rangum Root
Llniment. One trial will convince
Manufactured only by Rangum Roo
Medicine Co., Nashville Tenn. 90
centsper bottle. For sale by w. H.
Fleming.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1888-11-24
EXIT LAUGHING GAS.

The Electrical Method of Extra citing Teeth
without Pain.
Boston people nowadays have their
superhuous teeth drawn by means of
electricity. Inasmuch as all new ideas
in the arts and sciences are spread from
this enlightened metropolis originally,
and from hence extended over the
country, there is little doubt that soon
err or later this new method will super
sede laughing-gas and ether in other
big cities of the Union. The process
in question is very simple, scarcely any
apparatus being required beyond an
ordinery two-cell battery, with vibrator
attachment. This attachment is thin
strip of metal fastened at the ends,
which is made to vibrate thousand
or more times per second by the cleo
trio current. At each vibration the
circuit is cut off and renewed again,
the effect being to give q perfectly
steady flow of the mysterious fluid. In
order to make sure that the flow is
quite satisfactory the operator tunes
the machine-a assisted by little red
reed tuning-pipe-until the strip of
metal sings "a" So far, so good.
Now, to the battery are attached
three wires. Two of them have han
dies at the ends, and the third is
hitched to a forceps. The patient in
the chair is given a handle to hold in
each hand, and the current is turned
on gradually until it becomes painful.
Then he is told to grasp the handles
as strongly as possible, the electricity
having been switched off for mo-
ment-is turned on again suddenly,
and the dental surgeon applies his for
ceps simultaneously to the tooth. The
instant the molar is touched, it, as we'll
as the parts surrounding, becomes
electrified and absolutely insensible to
pain. When itOis withdrawn from the
socket, the subject of the operation
feels not the slightest disagreeable
sensation. A jerk and the tooth is
out, the patient drops the handles and
the affair is over.-BoStOn Letter.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1888-11-24
After Three Years,

w. f. Walton, of Springfield,
Tenn, says: " have been suffer
ing withNeuralgia in my face and
head offand or for three years. l
Sold by w. II. Fleming.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1888-11-24

The world is round. This is
probably the reason so many people
fail to get square with it.-Boston
Gazette.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1888-11-24

The question is asked, why women
always with exceedingly rare excep-
tions) button from right to left, and
men from left to right.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1888-11-24

The children talk it, grown folks
think it, and chickens die for it-Gan-
er's Chicken Cholera Cure. Sold
"no-cure-no-pay" by w. H.Flemirg.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05
NEW nooKs RECpIyEp.

HISTORY OF THE PEOPLE OF ISRAEL TILL
THE TINE OF KING DAVID. BY Ernest
Renan, author of Life of Jesus" Bos-
ton Roberts Bros. Washington Rob-
ert Beall, 497 Pennsylvania avenue.
HANNAH MORE of the Famous. Women
Series" By Charlotte M. Yonge. Bos-
ton: Roberts Bros. Washington !;
Robert Beall.
EARLY DAYS OF MoRMoNIsM Palmyra,
Kirkland and Nauvoo. BY ]. II. Ken
nedy, editor of "The Magazine OF
Western History" New York: Charles
Scribner's Sons. Washington: Rob-
ert Beall.
So far as the Utah question is con.
cerned this interesting volume is not in,
tended as an argument in the case. II is
simply what it purports to be, IA plain
concise, complete and unbiased history
of the early days of the Mormon Church, y
with which the present generation has
but slight and imperfect acquaintance
History as it is, however, much of i
reads like romance.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05
NOTES AND GOSSIP.

NEWARK, N. j., has post of veterans
of the Franco Russian war.
THE BRooKLYN BRIDGE cost sl5,000,0O0.
Its net profits last year were $685. ,s6l.
PAUL Du CHAILLU has given up lectur-
ing and has permanently located in Lon
don.
BARNUM is GOING to build n $4,000
house at Seaside Park, near Bridgeport,
Conn.
LITTLE MAY SHARPLEss of New Jersey
is years old and has S9,0Oo,oOO dollars in
her own right.
QUEEN VICTORIA. is the possessor of
white collie dog, novelty as great as a
white black bird.
CARDINAL GIBBONS is going south to at
tend conference of Southern bishops at
Asheville, N, c., April %.
THE LATE RATE WAR on the Western
railroads is estimated by the. Chicago
Herald to have cost them $l5 100000 inside
of fifty working days.
GOVERNOR HILL has appointed two
young ladies, notaries public in Kings
County n. Y. When q young man
proposes they can have him make afh-
davit.
A PARAGRAPH imparts the information
that there are people in Paris who make
a living by waking people up in the
morning. Snow shovelers are doubtless
referred to.
ANOTHER EVIDENCE that some unex-
pected meteorological change is going on
is found in the fact that snow has fallen
in Formosa, China, for the first time
known in history.
Rejoice, good friend, you re not Roman,
And count your privilege as great
For well we know in these days no man
Would have patience to write
MDCCCLXXXVIII.-[P Puck.
Ex-UNITED STATES SENATOR JOHN P.
KING of Georgia, who recently died at
Augusta, left an estate OF over million
dollars, most of which goes to his wife.
His daughter, the Countess of Anglesey,
is not mentioned in his will.
GEORGE b. FERRIS, merchant on Wall
street, New York, has one of the $50
bronze medals struck Off for the Henry
Clay Festival Association, which used to
celebrate Henry Clay's birthday forty
years ago by dinner on April II.
GOVERNOR CHURCH of Dakota has named
April 25 and May Q as arbor days for
South and North Dakota respectively.
| There isa territorial law that authorizes
| the payment of 50 an acre for tree plant
ing and certain exemptions from taxation.
THERE is REPORT current in Baltimore
that Colonel Jerome Bonaparte has gone
to Europe with the expectation of BRING
ing the ex-Empress Eugene back with
him when he returns in June.A His
brother, Mr.. Charles J. Bonaparte, is in.
| parte had never heard anything of her
| making America her home
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05
PROPOSALS.
MISCELLANEOUS spPPLIEs.
posroFirroE prrAnrMENr.


WAsuINeToN, ID. O., April 8, 1888.
SEALED PROPOSALS will be received at
this Department until Saturday. the 10Th day
Of May, 1898, at 10 o'clock noon, at which
tmo and place they will bc opened in the
presence of bidders or their authorized agents
Or attorneys, for doing the necessary painting
In the Department.; for winding and keeping
the clocks In repair and for furnishing such
coal, wood, Ice, carpets, chairs, cotton cloth
for map-mouuting) soap, closet paper,
matches, busters, whisk and corn-brooms,
desk and wastepaper baskets and forage, as
may be ordered during tho fiscal year begin
ming July 1, 1888, and ending JUNE 80, 1880.
Bids are also invited for tho purchase Of the
wastepaper from the Postoffce Department,
Money order Building, Topographer's Office
Blanks for proposals. with specifications
giving detailed statement OF the requirements
to be met In respect to each.artlclo, and also
the estimated quantities probably to be re'
quired OF each, and giving full Instructions Is
to the manner Of bidding and conditions TO
be observed by bidders, will be furnished on
application to the superintendent aud Dis
bursing Clerk, Postoflice Department, Wash
ington, d. q.
The Postmaster General reserves the right
10 reject any or all bids, TO waivc technical
defects and to accept any part Of any bid
and reject the other part
DON NJ. DICKINSON,
Poqtmae .(tonprql
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05
WASHINGTON, APRIL 5, 1883.
ME ONE HUNDRED.

1t looks very much rs il the
Citizens Representive Committee of
One Hundred were going to pieces
for want of the necessary cohesive
power 1t set out with the best of
motives; it included many excellent
citizens in its membership; it as
suredly had everybody's good wishes.
In short time, however, various
conflicting elements began to crop out
that could not be compromised and
agreement upon any fixed policy as
TO the great majority of propositions
brought before the Committee, be-
came apparently impracticable.
1t is to be regretted that the com.
mittee, instead Of undertaking to cover
such n multiplicity of details relative
TO methods and measures of District
government, thus unprofitably inter-
fering with matters that were safe
enough in the hands of the Commits
sioners, had not concentrated their
energies upon subjects that involved
less contrariety of private opinion and
which came within their legitimate
scope and influence.
The railroad question was clearly
beyond their capacity to handle with
any satisfactory degree of harmony,
and the question of street improve
ments also proved somewhat too com
plicated and entangling to be advanta-
geously adjusted.
But if these hundred gentlemen had
put their shoulders manfully TO the
wheel in behalf of the Potomac Flats
Improvement or in expediting q set
Element of the legal vexations with
which that great and essential work is
menaced, it is not at all likely that an
Appropriation bill would have been
reported to the House with the Poto-
mac Flats left out.
Or if they had taken up the license
and local option question in business
like way, being an intelligent, influ-
ential and representative body, they
could have aided the committees Of
Congress to far better understand
ing of public sentiment on this point
than miles of petitions and memorials
could do, enabling before this time,
no doubt, the formulation OF some
definite legislative policy.
Then there are the Centennial and
Permanent Exposition projects, in
which everybody is interested, around
which they could have rallied with
such force as to materially aid in
their promotion at the Capitol.
Their mistake appears to have been
in making an effort to run the Dis
trict Government in their own half
dozen different ways, any reconcilia
tion of which was in the nature ol
things impossible, and, in antagon
izing, rather than cooperating with
the District Commissioners. By the
energy Qnd unanimity of their sup
port they could have been of valua
BILE service in many ways but, fol-
the most part, they have succeeded in
simply furnishing an additional dem
onstration of the old adage, that "tot
many cooks spoil the broth"
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05
BY THE wAYsIDE.

stopped TO read the milestone here,
A laegard schOolboy, long ago;q
came not far-my home was near
But, oh how far | longed TO go!
Behold number and a name
A finger, westward, cut In stone;
The vision of a city came,
Across the dust and distance shown.
Around me lay the farms asleep
In hazes OF autnmnal air.
And sounds that quiet loves TO keep
Were heard, ana heard not, everywhere.
] read the milestone, day by day;
yearned to cross the barren bound,
To know the golden far.away.
To walk the new Enchanted Ground
-lJohn James Platt.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05

Mr.. JOSEPH CHAMBERLAIN made a
speech in London last night before the
Peace Arbitration Union and inti-
mated that the work of the Fisheries
Conference would prove efIicacious in
settling a long dispute and thereby
maintaining amicable relations be-
tween England, Canada and the
United States. He expressed great
friendship for America and the Amer
leans, and stated that the treaty was
based upon reasonable, mutual conces-
sions. Mr.. Chamberlain's rose-col-
ored view of the situation would be
somewhat blurred if he knew the tenn
per of the Senate Foreign Relations
Committee and Mr.. Riddleberger.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05
cnIrrounAn.
Easter tied The young couple married
last Sunday

Easter iiedAThe young couple married
last Sunday.
The Washington girl, so gentle and sweet,
Lets her lips meet the coming kiss
With rapturous warmth, and the youth
ful souls
Float away on sea of bliss.
WASHINGTON CRITIC.
The Lynchburg girl with coy, sweet air,
And the love light in her eye,
Throws her whole soul in her ruby lips
And takes IL on the sly-Oh my
-tLynchburg Virginian.
The Fredericksburg girl, with rosy
blush,
Presents her sweet ruby lips;
With n modest and bewitching air
She sips, and sips, and sips.
fredericksburg Star.
Next
II was o. m. and Congressman was
at the front door fumbling around for the
keyhole. Presently his wife stuck her
head out of the window above and the
key fell from his shaky fingers.
"Well2 2' she said, inquiringly.
"Ish thish you, m dear?" he said in
reply.
"of course it is. Who did you think it
was2 What do you want?"
'Can (hic) come in, m dear?"
mot on such hand as that you
can't" and she came down stairs and
raised him in great shape.
Mr.. Gladstone has tackled Colonel In
gersoll is religious debate and proposes to
give Robert what Robert says doesn't
exist.
The world is plunged in deep despair,
In wormwood and in gall;
Well have to pay our fifty cents,
Ors no games OF ball.
-[WAsmNGToN CRrTfc.
Come to New York and learn trick.
To save your fifty cents;
Shin up telegraph pole
Just ten feet from the fence.
-[Yonkers Statesman.
A man without anything else to do gets
off this one and ships it to u.s. Last week
the women had the field at Albaugh's,
but this week it is Mansfield.
The heavy swell in the yellow overcoat
knows enough to know that the. dog he
takes along with him must match it in
color.
$50 your girl gave You mo for an
answer 2'' said Jones to Bulger.
"Not much, she didn't, replied Bulger
confidently.
"She didn't eh? I'd like to know what
you call 1t, then"
"Would you? Well, she merely re.
marked that she would be sister to me
and more of q similar character, but the
word mo- wasn't mentioned during the
| entire interview"
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05

eral Lewis's demands with reference
to the persons under his protection.
The situation appears TO be growing
serious. II is all the more serious be-
cause Of the poor show the Mediter-
ranean Squadron makes as the repre-
sentative of a great and powerful Gov
ernment. It is slightly humiliating
TO have an impudent Moor turning up
his nose at United States man-of-
xVQr
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05
THE RECALL.

Return, they cry, ere yet your day
Set, and the sky grow stern;
Return, strayed souls, while yet ye may
Return.
But heavens beyond us yearn;
Yea, heights Of heaven above the sway
Or stars that eyes discern.
The soul whose wings from shoreward
stray
Makes toward her yiewless bourne,
Though trustees faith and unfaith say
Return.
-LAlgernon Charles sWInbugne.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05

A DISPATCH FROM LONDON says
"Fears are entertained here that the
American Government will adopt
vigorous measures against Morocco"
Apparently they don't know the
American Government very well
where that dispatch came from.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05

THE SUCCESS or A Michigan zero
naut in dropping 10000 feet in a
parachute and alighting uninjured is
in the nature of a tip to various Presi-
dental candidates who will need
something to let them down easy
along in June,
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05

The PROPORTIONS of the Free Bridge
Celebration grow apace. 1t promises
10 be grand success and the citizens
Of West Washington deserve great
credit for the enterprise and public
spirit they are exhibiting in the
matter.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05
DEPARTMENT on TnE INTERInR.

IL WASHINGTON, d. O., April ., 1888.
SEALED PROPOSALS will be received at
this Department until ~ O'Clock m, THURS
DAY, May o, 1885,. for furnishing Mlscel-
laneous Supplies to the Department OF the In.
terror during the fiscal year ending June 80,
1880, consisting OF brooms, brushes, clocks,
fle-holders, portfolio drawers, soaps, hard
ware. chairs, carpets, desks, dry goods, lum.
Der, forage, etc.
Proposals must be made on the Department
forms which, with the necessary Instructions.
will be furnished on application. They must
and indorsed upon the envelope Proposals
for Miscellaneous supplies
WM II Villas Sacrntnrv
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05

THE ENTERPRISE HAS sailed from
Tangier for Nice to receive orders
from the Admiral Of the American
Squadron with reference to the Robat
AFFAIR. the Moorish Government hay-
ing refused to secede to Consul Gen
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05
Oysters for Two.

Waiter ito country groom)--Raw oys-
ters? Yes, sir how many, sir?
Country groom-Well, dunno. ITO
bride) Marier, dye We think we kin get
away with can I'm. Y. sun
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05

THE PoPE REFUSES to oppose the
Irish National movement. Under the
circumstances he couldn't very well
do otherwise. The Pope is not in
politics.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05

Mrs. CHAsKA (nee Fellows) has re-
fused $1,000 offer for ten weeks in
dime museum. We are glad to know
that no mercenary motives prompted
her marriage.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05

AS A POLITICIAN General Boulanger
is making the right kind Of start.
He refuses absolutely to talk about his
business,
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05

THE RHODE ISLAND REpuBLoANs
resumed business yesterday at the old
stand. The Democrat who hoped to
be elected to the United States Senate
as Mr.. Chace's successor will have to
wait till Mr.. Aldrich's term expires
i'm g3,
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05

Tie HOUSE SHOULD have more re-
gard for its health. 1t is doing too
much night work.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05
FOR sALE--HousEs.
.,nn rIrr

JOB SALE
IN MIST W, bet 9th and 10th, large Q.
story bricks, II RS each; price $4,000. 11th
50 n W, bet Mass ave and M st, rs; price
$4,000. 11th st G, brick,7 rs and bath,
large yard; price $4,000.
LOTS.
Est n o, bet Sd and 4th, 9 lots, 1sx00; price
per foot, 400. Georgia ave Q, bot LIST ST
and s ave, 8 lots, 10000 feet; loo per foot,
10Th st n W, bet T and U, 2 lots, 43x03 feet;
price 81 per foot.
+. c. DICKINSON, Real Estate, Loans and
Insurance, Room 8, 1d17 + ST W.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05
FOR SALE AND RENT.

E,OR RENT OR FOR SALE, ON VERY REA-
IL sonable terms, house S11 Ii st n o; g.
story brick, mod imps stable In rear. Apply
to Il. WHITE, ga + st W; can deal direct
with owner.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05

No GouLD OR BENNETT BLOOD has
been shed up to date.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05

MINISTER PHELPS is on his way
home and will probably arrive here
before the President has appointed II
Chief Justice.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05

CoNGREss MADE a night of it last
night.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05

TIE BIGGEST BOOM now booming is
the Permanent Exposition boom.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05
UlOR SALE

Mass ave, near 13th st, 1oroom brick .
stories, $4,000.
X st, bet 18th and 14tb, 3story and cellar,
8 rooms, $4,000.
B st, near 18th W, 3-story and cellar; IL
rooms, q fine house, $4,000.
50, near 18th 8 W, 2-story, room brick,
20 II front, $500.
9th 81, near n Q, good story and base
ment, rooms, all m |, $500.
Seven beautiful building lots on ID st, bet
Pa ave and c st 5 Q, 15x03, each $500, cor
ner $4,000.
Send for new bulletin Of farm and country
properties. -
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05

TIE CONVENTION for the election of
delegates to the National Democratic
Convention at st. Louis will meet at
1880 o'clock this evening at the hall
Of the Washington Light Infantry.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05
iTO OWNERS OF HOUSES.

Parties having houses TO rent will find It to
their advantage to place the same In the
hands OF the undersigned, who gives his per-
sonal attention to the collection of rents and
tho general care OF property. Statements
furnished monthly and great care exercised
In selecting desirable tenants.
CHAS. IL. BANES,
1908 st n W,
with .TOhn II Waopafnau
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05

REAL ESTATE INVESTMENT.
Safe as U. s. bonds; per cent. payable
quarterly; In sums S100 TO $1,000; small
premium charged.
LOANS
In sums TO suit at per cent.
The above Is only a small portion OF prop
erty on my books. For full list call at office
for bulletins issued on LIST and 18th.
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05
aye-,,, EASY, USEFUL, FEET, ETC.

"The wise for health ON daily walks de-
pend, and thousands visit DR.. White foot
Hotel, for the painless treatment Of Corns,
HNnions, Diseased Nails, and all complaints
OF The fest; 2Sth year OF practice In Washlng-
ton. Fee, 81 sitting for putting the feet In
order,
The Washington critic., 1888-04-05

THE New York Star denies Off
cially that it has been sold to John
r. Mclean of the Cincinnati Enquirer.