The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-11-08
BRIGHT BITS

TIE sidewalks in Salk Lake City are 20 feet
wide, SO that Mormon elder can go walking
with his wife at his side.-P',ck.
CLARA" shouted the old man from the head
OF the stairs, II called down ten minutes ago
that 1t was time for that young man to go, and
haven't heard the front door close yet"
NO, papa; he left by the window. '-Hdrper's
Bdzdr
How FAR IT WENT.-Miss Westend Oh Miss
Tiptop. is it true that while abroad you became
engaged to the Duke of Oldcastle?
Miss I1ptop Reluctantly but my wait
ing maid got acquainted with his valet-Phttd-
detphfd Record.
DATE PALMS constitute the wealth of the
Arabs of the desert; but, unlike rare coins,
their value does not depend upon the antiquity
OF The date. palm with a recent date is worth
more than it would be if dated before the flood,
-Iecas S0tings.
Doctor (passinR a stOnecutter's yardl-Good
morning, Mr.. JoGes. Hard at work, see. [
suppose you finish your gravestones as far as
In Memory of" and then wait for some one to
die, Ell?
Stonecutter-why. yes; unless somebody's
sick and your doctorng EN-; then | keep right
on Chambers journal.
THE REASON OF Ir-Tom Bigbee (ferocously)
| Hang 1t, Glbbon, | can't see why you have
| adopted that idiotic way of carrying your UNI
b7ella! You're jabbmg everybody, back and
| front.
Howell Gibbon-You cawn't see, Ell? Why,
| its absolutely necessary. I'd get the blawsted
| thing tangled in the skirts of my English
trousers if | didn't carwy it in harwizontal
| positlon.-Puck.
| YOUNG Mr. WALDO Ito Miss Breezy)-What
| are your views. Miss Breezy, in regard to the
question, rs Marriage a Failure:"
: Miss Breezy (of Cnicago) Why, can't speak
| from experience, of course, Mr.. Waldo, but
have a very dear friend who was married year
| ago, and sac has found 1t a delightful success.
| Mr.. Waldo-She is happy, them
| Miss Breezy-Oh. very Mr. Waldo. Clara
n Ira oIir I,Yrt, De-
"Wildred,' - said he, while his larynx quivered
with tremulous pathos have offended your
NO, George, you have not
Then why are you so silentF
Don't ask me. "
But, darling, think, you have spoken scarcely
| twenty words in the last hour. l cannot bear
the gloomy quiet. Why do you not speak?
Why do you not TALK?
Because. George want fame 1 am
woman and am trying to make a record. -
San Francisco Post
JUST as friend of ours who lives in Wiuslow
| had completed watering trough by the road
side and stood watching it as it filed with clear,
cool water from the spring above, an elderly
couple of wellto-do appearance stopped for
| their horse to drink. Noting the delight of the
animal and realizing the benefit of the con
trivance to the public the lady remarked to
Mr. D.. THE Lord will reward you for this"
Il have no doubt of it, madam said Mr.. D.,
with q low bow and a twinkle in his eye, but
shall make out my bill to the selectmen. =
WdterUiLe (De.) Mail.
A FASHIONABLE CHURCH WEDDING among some
summer sojoarnerS was a june occurrence in
| little New England village. The high hand with
which things we're carried on aroused the ieal-
| ousy and sharpened the tongues of the native
element, whose highest idea of q marriage cere-
mony had ALWAYS apparently been to run over
| the border and have the knot tied unknown to
| ones friends. Some 700 invitations were sent
| through the postotfice, and long the &C
acknowledgements began to arrive. "Waal, l
swami the country postmaster was heard to
say TO his young and green assistant; Il reckon
this'l take down the b. S peg II here amt
| all their invites a-comin' back!'-Hdrper'S
| Boar