The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-18
BRIGHT BITS.
WEIGHED in the balance and found wanting
A ton of coal.-Tid Bits.

WEIGHED in the balance and found wanting;-
ton OF coal.-Tid Bits.
a BICYCLE WHEEL like a worm, will turn when
trod apon.- Washington critic.
THE FATHER Ito his son)-When you were
thinking Of marrying asked you to keep your
eyes open; now you are married advise you TO
Keep your eyes shut-Ddrt3Sh Paper.
Now is the time when the discontinued stop
in their harangues against capital long enough
TO warm their cold shinS in the reading room
founded by Capitalist Peter Cooper.-Itd- BITS.
ANTHONY CoMsTocK is busying himself just
now with crusade against cigarette plctur s.
Would he not serve his day and generation just
as wen by making war upon the cigarettes
themselves?-H Paul Globe.
A NUMBER of Ohio men in Kansas have organ
lied an Ohio Club, the motto of which IS The
sun of Ohio Never Shone on the Face of an Ugly
Woman" Ohio women all carry sun umbrellas
when the sun shines.-Ae'0 OrleGGS PicdBlne.
New CONGRESSMAN AT DNNER-Waiter (who
has seen new Congressman beforet-'SBuse me,
boss but faint good fawn to eat yo' pie wild yo'
New Congressman-Well why in thunder
didn't you bring me a spoon WASHINGTON
critic.
MISS BROWNING (of Boston)-Mr. Berrill, do
you believe that a rose by any other name
would smell sweet
Mr.. Berrill (of Chicago)-It would to me.
Miss Browning (innocently)-Why?
Mr.. Berrill bly)-Because l have hay
fever.-Tid Bits.
"CAN you tell me. darling, he asked, as they
sat together in the weak spot of the sofa, the
exact mathematical duration of n kiss ~
About a second and a half, | believe" she
answered demurely.
Thanks" he replied 81 will make minute
of it, '-B'rljngton Free Press.
CONGRESSMAN REED, of Maine, in an effort to
give the readers of the North Ap,tricon ReCieD
ran idea of Alaska starts out with the asser
ton that 1.-THE Territory comprises more than
1000, 600 square miles. As the entire land
area of the globe is only $1,000, 600 square miles,
Mr., Reeds idea would seem to be slightly
erroneous.-C htcdg0 Tribune
''YEs SIR" said Mr. Hardup I'm all worn
out. Haven't had a square nights rest in two
weeks"
What's the matter? Aren't you well?"
"Oh. yes, I'm well enough but this skating
into the house after the landladys gone to bed,
and skating down and out before she's up in the
morning, is terribly wearing ON man. | can't
stand il much longer. guess I'll have to move"
Puck.
CHICAGO DAME lin Chicago art store)-That is
just the sort Of picture | want. Ask the propri-
etor how much it is.
New Boy-The boss is out just now, but seen
him sell that picture to another lady only half
an hour ago. He's gone to get a man to haul it
away, guess. It's Raphael.
Too bad. Well, tell Mr.. Raphael to paint me
one like it
yes, ma am. He and his men is awfully
busy at the factory now, but guess he can fill
your order. Omaha World.
New ARRIvAIe-Are the rooms ready wired
for last night?
English Hotel Clerk-What's the namep
Arrival Sullivan,
Clerk-Oh, ya-as your honor Boots, show
Mr.. Sullivan to the first suite of drawing
rooms. You'll find heverythng ready, Mr..
Sullivan.
Arrival-Sir Arthur, sir not Mister. I'm Sir
Arthur Sullivan, the composer?
Clerk-Tenth floor back, Boots CTo him
helf | thought e was little stubby for John
Hel!-Pttck.