The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1888-05-09
WHEN SH0ULDPEOPLEWED?
VALUE OF A MAlDEN's FREEDOM.
Harriet Prescott Spofford's Views of Early
Wedloek-fOr Young Men 1t May be
Desirable, but Not for Girls
Rosebuds of Marriage.
Copyright, 1885,

those who may recall the son Matthew in
<'Pilgrim's Progress" who made himself i'll
by eating green apples-green apples
which might have been wholesome and
delicious had he waited until they were
ripe, can recall an illustration quite con-
Trajectory of such inference
Fortunate for him, as it may seem to the
mother OF son, if her boy shall marry
early, yet his instance 10 4 singular one,
If, on reaching something less than middle
age, he has not dropped his wife so far be-
hind him as to leave himself practically
unmarried, having nurse, hOusekeep-
er, humble friend, possibly slave,
but certainly no companion, no
wife, in the wide sense of
the word. His early marriage
may have been, specifically considered,
an advantage to his morality, and so to his
health; but when the mother has brought
up her boy, as it is her duty to do, to
understand that the same personal purity
is required of him that is required of her
GIRL. and that his passions are to be under
the same control that his sisters are, at
whatever age, then the question of that
morality will not enter into the affair at
all
But however the mother of son may
look at the subject OF early marriages, the
mother of a-daughter is justified, it seems
TO me, in rather decided opposition to
them. II, instead OF being great
and happy portion OF the school of
life, marriage constituted the whole
OF it, or life existed only Tor
the sake OF marriage, still those
= a Is no no
suitable preparation. lam unable to sup
pose that at the age of eighteen
or twenty any preparation has been
sufficient The age is lovely
in its tenderness, and enchanting with It's
illusions; but wisdom wears a severer
face, and marriage deals with stern facts.
Some girls there may be, of rare ability,
who are competent to take upon their
young shoulders the responsibility OF
house, its work, or the direction of those
who do its work, the oversight of hus-
bands wardrobe, the bearing and nurs-
ing of children, the physical attention
to them in health and in sickness,
and the daily direction of their
moral and mental education, together
with all the other indoor and outdoor
cares incidental to the position OF one who
Is the head OF family, and who has the
happiness OF a home and a husband on
her heart and conscience. But these cases
are few and exceptional, and the great
multitude of girls under twenty are not
equal 10 such a strain upon nerve and mus
Gle without an arrestsOf development A
lew years later they may remember them
selves at that age as still children they may
feel some reproach toward those who laid
upon them then burden greater than
children should bear. Even were skill,
experience, discretion, well established,
industrious habits formed, universal be
longing of the maiden of eighteen or
twenty years, think ii would be as much
a cruelty to demand all this exertion of
her as it would be if she were six or eight
years younger.
Before twenty girl has hardly had
the chance to receive the complete
instruction from text books to which
she has a right, to say nothing
OF the domestic education of the kitchen,
the needle, the sick room; she has had
little chance to learn anything of the
world OF human nature; she has intui-
tons, not experiences; she has lived more
with dreams and ideals than with reali-
ties. She may make a charming wife at
first, and a tender mother always, ma
ternal instinct and sOlicitude taking the
place OF all the superiority that added
years might have given. But she
must stop there. taxed to the ut
most; she has no time, nor strength, and
perhaps-as inclination grows by use-no
inclination to read, to study, to keep pace
with husbands advance, or even TO APP
preciate it. | will not say that when, in
a few years, she has lost the appearance
OF youth, when she has no more fresh
color and a smooth face, when pretty
toilette no longer becomes her, that the
husband who continues to cherish her
will take credit to himself for doing
SO; but it Is evident that she
encounters the danger of this feeling
on his part. Nor do L think it an argu-
ment worth mentioning that the women
early married is so moulded and bent to her
husbands will that clashing and incOm-
patibility become impossible; because in
marriage the rights and sacrifices should
be mutual, and | will not so insult the
husband as to suppose him unreasonable
enough for this moulding TO be necessary,
or selfish enough to wish thus to suppress
individuality, unable 10 find pleasure him
self in remuneration, or negligent of civil
lied, not to say Christian duty.
Charming wife and tender mother as she
may be, however, il is not TO be doubted
that when her education is more thorough
and her experience more extended, she
will be a nobler wife and q far better
mother. She will have lost some softening
trifie OF the arrogance OF youth; vanity,
levity, love OF admiration, will have been
so chastened as not TO play the part of
deaths head at the feast; she will have
learned seli-sacriice and forbearance;
she will have acquired tact and
discretion and the sacred art of
silence; she will have become harmoni-
Gus; and she will know how to order
home as she did not knew before. Her
knowledge will have opened avenues and
outlooks Of which her family will have the
advantage; her judgment will have ri
pened, her whole nature developed;
she will take life at n higher plane,
and her husband and her children,
her whole world and the generations
to como, will have gained by the de-
lay. III il were but for the sake of
those generations TO come, born of mothers
full grown in mind as well as in body, the
delay would be worth while. A young
mother, with her children about her, is
often lovely sight; but as lovely a sight
in different way, if not 50 touching and
appealing, is the mother 10 whom few
added years have given an immense added
leverage in the task of bringing her child
rem up, and lifting them 10 higher level
even than her own.
But meanwhile, the generation that is
here has its own claim on the young girl;