The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-12-06
MIR. AND MRS. BOwsER.
BY MRS. BowsER


Some time since referred to the fac
that j had carefully preserved. arranged
and filed all of Mr.. Bnwser's love letters
and advised every bride to do the SAINT
thing, | now desire to reiterate that ad
vice. really don't know how | could
get along with Mr.. BOwser If | did moi
have this leverage on him. Like all 9th
er hu bands, he has sudden fits and his
hours of forgetfulness. He wanted g
pair of pincers to use for something, and
because they were not right at hand he
made gesture of despair and exclaimed
"Oh, OF course must get used to 1t,
suppose. Such h0usekeeper as you are
Mrs. Bowser !"
Here they a,e. You left 'em on the
lounge yourself last night"
LAY it to me, of course What's that
young 'un believing about now 2"
"He fe down"
Dissent he know enough to g an upi
Did the wood come up =
"No."
at didn't | ordered it the fl st thing
this morning This is the worst run
house in D;troit -
"Do / run the wood yards p
But why didn't you tell me 1t hadn't
come up? It's wonder the girl hasn't
quit to cl m TX your troubles"
She went on
Mr.. Bowser sat down and looked at
me long time. Then he sighed deeply
and said
We'll, | suppose must stand il, but
it's hard-very hard. This i, what comes
of marrying girl who has been brough'
up on caramels and novels"
| went up stairs and brought down the
package of letters. Selecting Cne
marked : "ExhiblC Allied September
lOth, 1884, | began to read
"MY ANGEL ONE-I send you another box Of
| caramels and five Of the latest novels, and hope
you will thoroughly eujoy them Your were Ia
mentng the fact that you know so little of house
work. am glad oft. Angels are not expected
to fry pork and wash dishes You shall have a
dozen housekeeperc when we are married, and
You shall never know household care"
That base forgery = shouted Mr..
Bowser, as | finished reading"
"Oh, no it isn't. | expected the day
would come when you would say so. and
so l prepared for it. See here my
m, ther attests it as a witness"
We'll, if l wrote it 1 must have been
asleep
And only the other day. Mr.. Bowser,
when got new dress home you said |
hadn't any more taste than clam, and
that my ideas of harmony would st p a
clock
Yes, and l meant it. You were al
ways that way"
"Was II"
| selected letter marked Exhibit A
filed September 18Th, 1884, and read
my BEAuTIFUL-The picture of my dear one as
she appeared to me last night has been with me
all day. You haye the taste of a queen in your
toilet and harmony is second nature with you,
Oh my little angel, you"
Il wrote that, did r. sternly demand.
ed Mr.. Bowser.
"Of course"
Never ! The man who says was ev.
er fool enough to write such stuff must
die I"
1T is duly attested, Mr.. Bowser. and
you can't deny your writing. haven't
changed bit in my tastes since mar
riage. Indeed, think | have improved. .
There goes that young 'un again
He isn't happy unless he is bellering like
a calf mired in a ditch"
But see here. Mr.. Bowser.'
And | selected telegram marked
Exhibit B-1-Original," and ettested
by father, mother and nurse, and read
"CHICAGo, November Goth. 1ss7.-My Darling,
Thank God for the news of the birth of our son.
My heart swells with love and gratitude. 1t is our
bond of love. Heaven has surely blessed US.
Again, thank God. Will be home Sunday night
BowsER.
II never sent it ~ shouted Bowser
"Yes you did. Here is proof to con-
vict you, There isn't a mention about
calf In this, and as for 'bellering, you
never dreamed Of it."
"Oh, well, have it your own way,
You'd have the last word if | was diving.
Some wives are built that way. II
was like some husbands I'd assert my
authJrity.'
But you are not, Mr.. Bowser, as this
will prove"
And selected letter marked, "Ex-
hibit C-l-Original," and tested, and
read
my DEAREST LovE.-In reference to our con.
versation last night, wish to say that have
always held and always shall hold that husband
and wife should be equal in authority. Neither
has the right to dictate is the other through if
either had that right II would give 1t all to you.
We shall never have word Of dispute-not one
'N'''''b JSN my ~ 'S'
And do you dare charge me with
writing such stuff as that p gasped Mr..
Bowser.
II do. Here's the proof and you can't
wiggle out of It,"
II wrote Dearest Love. did p
You did. Indeed, Mr.. Bowser, you
were far gone about those days"
g | was, chi Well, you can't make
me believe that ever wrote any such
internal bosh as that. You'll next
charge me with writing you up in
verse;
You even did that, sir. Just wait"
| selected letter marked Exhibit G
livery choice" and read:
The twilight cometh softly down
As sinks the sun away,
And little children go to bed
All weary with their play.
Where my love this glorious eve!
Where doth her proud foot rest?
And where the head of golden hair.
Which shall ever bless'
And you say l wrote that? p whis-
pered Mr.. BowseT.
"GOu did, It's beautiful thing too.
| can see those little children going
right to bed. You spoke of my 'hoofs
the other day, and you had slur about
my red head. Only four years ago 1t
was my proud foot and my golden
head"
He was silent.
DO you want any more. Mr. .Bowser,"
| asked,
Mrs. Bowser, don't say that you
are not as good as the average wife, but
l do say that you have mighty mean
streak in your composition. 1t may be
possible that while lay burning with
fever, or while suffering nervous al
tack, may have written a portion of
those letters. The rest are base for
geries, of course, and you are holding
them over me as a menace. Is that
wifely?"
why, Mr. Bowser, do you deny your
own handwriting?
II haven't seen the writing and don't
want to. Don't threaten me, Mrs. Bow
ser. can be cosxed, but not driven.
Cases have been known where husbands
walked out and never returned"
But that was his only way of wrig-
CLING out of it. The next day Re sSnt
me up a new dress, took baby for long
walk, and at present is the most docile
husband in Detroit, t,-DetrOit Free Press.
EPOCH