St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-05-04
TIDBITS Oh HUMOR.

hangs high is because it's so difficult to
paganda.-Duluth Photographer.
You can't judge a Woman'S heart by
the size of her bustle.-Oil City Biz
Zard.'
New York city is to have women
brokers. They'll be able to stand the
squeeze" we SuppoSe.-YO nkerS
Statesman.
A new play is called 1.-THE Dark Sc
cret." Perhaps this is revival OF the
historic ''nigger in the woodpile. ''-Bos-
ton Bulletin.
Most women delight in acquiring new
things, yet you will find every one of
them worries over the latest wrinkle
Lowell Citizen.
The woman who can't make a gang
of desperate burglars out of a tree
trunk and a couple of street-light Shad-
ows on the sidewalk never was married.
-SOmerville journal.
The Age Of Woman is the title of a
new magazine. 1t is not to be given
away, however-Boston Transcript.
Don't ask woman over thirty how
old she is. Wait until she tells you and
then add eight.-Somerville Journal.
If ever woman laments her total in
ability to whistle it is when the con-
ductOr of street car obstinately re-
fuses to look her way and she is in
desperate hurry to get home.-Ameri-
can Artisan.
The Princess Louise, daughter of
Vic, is now forty, and as she grows old
is more for Lorne than ever.-Duluth
Photographer.
An anti-tobacconist makes a cam
paign document out of the fact that the
cannibalS will not eat man who cheWS
tobacco. Hob! Neither will the man
who cheWS tobacco eat a cannibal. So
there !-Burdette.
A book has been written for middle
aged women" No one but the young
est girls will dare to buy it.-Philadel-
phia News.
The electric light is said to be a great
success, and yet it has thrown no light
on the subject of wOman'S age.-Yon-
kers Statesman.
He is a brave man that dareS TO ask
woman's age, but he is Drawer who, on
being told it, informs her that she is
not so old as she looks.-Boston Courier.
swell. Corduroys, | see the miners
strike is ended at last" ''FaiX, thin, it
is not all over at all, sor, tits just be-
gun" why, hear the company has
yielded to all the demands of the men,"
$50 it has, Sor." "Why do you keep on
strike, then?'' Because it didn't Yield
before, Sor'
"a public Office is public trust" re-
peats the politician, and then he cries:
Down with the trust! Give me the
office. Texas Siftings.
Small Boy (whose ideas of heaven are
not totally disconnected with full
stomach)-Papa, will we have three
meals day in the next world?
mo, my son, but we will get our
desserts there. Judge.
lone thing. Maria,'' said the tarred-
nd I, ic 70
was plucking him after the festivities
1.-The far amt no special use, but there's
most dollars worth of feathers on
me."-Puck.
An Everett debating society is dis
cuSSing the question as to which is the
madder-the husband who goes home
and finds that dinner isn't ready, or the
wife who has dinner ready and whose
husband doesn't go home? 1t is be-
lieved that the debate will end in a
draw.-Boston Courier.
Frank Stockton does not believe that
an author need feel grief in order to
produce it in others. Certainly not. In
nine cases out of ten all he has to do is
to write. and grief is sure to come to the
reader-BeSton Transcript.
A scientist says that the reason why
people blush i'll the face is because that
is the only portion of the body which is
exposed to view. This scientist is not
in the habit of attending balls.-Bur-
lington Free Press.
II hear that Gen. Lightf0ot is going to
run for governor" said the Judge. 'Glad
he's going to run for something" said
the major, with feeling, che run from
everything all through the wal" Bur
dette.
The following unique sign appears in
ToccOca, Ga: lamps fixed, raZOrS
honed, fresh oysters, Vienna bread and
tombstones. '-Columbu Enquirer-Sun.
Are you fond of Tolstoi?" asked
Boston girl OF Chicago young man.
How do you eat it?''-Judge.
The reason they call it the dependent
pension bill is because so many poll
ticians are dependent upon it for their
reelection. Duluth Photographer
Love requires hand-tO-hand action to
win.-Philadelphia Call.
The punctilious maiden realizes that
it isn't every sutton that will suit 'er.-
Whitehall Times. l
The young American beau can give
older heads a few pointers on the spirit
of the press. -Duluth Photographer.
What might be called lovers lamp
is sold by Boston frm. 1t is warranted
not to burn more than two hours. Mar
ried couples have no use for it.-Somer-
vile Journal.
Rome fell, Tyre Crumbled, Carthage went
down, Il
All that is buiided by man is laid low,
But the most immortal thing upon earth, Il
Young man. is your sweetheart 8 no.
Detroit Free Press. :
Money is tight-sO are lots of men who
have money.-Detroit Free Press.
When money is tight it is always
locked up; so is a man, sometimes
Boston Post.
Sometimes we say money is close
when it is only the money-lender.-
Philadelphia Call.
Intemperance is becoming so general
in the world that even money itself gets
tight occasionally.-Bos Budget
Money would be easier and more
freely circulated if all would pay their
bills promptly.-NewO Orleans i'icayune.
The government may have too much
money, but there are not many citizens
who will confess to being afflicted i'll
that way.-Boston Post Post.
Money talks and money tells
Yes-in money syliables.
Detroit Free Press.
Money may often get tight, but it
doesn't go home at 3 O'Clock in the
morning and wonder why it doesn't feel
well at breakfast time.-Rocheste Post
Express.
There is one thing about silver dollars
that YOU would not expect In spite Of
their superior specific gravity they are
are more readily .'b' owh i'm than paper