Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1888-05-18
HUMOR FROM CHICAGO
ALMOST CAUSES A COLLAPSE AMONG
REPUBLICAN MEMBERS.


REPUBLICAN MEMBERS.
A.. -r,a Th.,
''a'o"
ConNuises the house-'ii""'' i'"'''
Voorhees, and Ingalls, Receptions-Pass-
... -, ,,,a p.n.ion nil by the senate
.,.., A.. wal.
'"'"
WASHINGTON CITY, May 1S-The speeches
ON the tariff in the house yesterday that at
tracted the most attention were those of
"Sunset" Cox and "Billyn Mason, the new
Chicaeo member Cox put in good word
for his committee on the census by referring
ia the frequency with which the reports of
the last census had been drawn upon for in
formation during this debate. On the first
day of the session he had said that he be-
lieyed the tariff 10 be "A business question,
and IT, should he so considered, and kept
aloof from personalities and parties He
was willing to reduce taxation in almost any
way. He would do almost anything to get
rid of the surplus, which menaccd and par
alyzed the industries of the country. Gov
ornor Allen of Ohio once said that a surplus
was the worst thing government could
have, and that it was as well TO run a
powder mill in hell as an honest gov
eminent with plethoric treasury. Cox
opposed extravaganza as IA means of getting
rid of the surplus and said taxes
should be raised on principle
of equality. He would not quarrel
with gentlemen who had local interests at
stake. The protectionists al gued that the
United States had protection and high wages,
tlarafnra nrntnction hrnupht high wages
A. III - tt+ E,,nIo,1 Lod the bous., of
20 -. tl,o,osora Tho house Of
,o' ',' "''i ~ "''he' - II;.,I S,atas boa
49, -, - ,h.arnr tho tramns
49, Irh ,,.at7',s t.e,IanI bad No snakes and
I'D biob WAGES
M, 81, ~ 81. -. ,,,o.a ,7ttarlv ir
'I.. " .a.' -, ,;'a''.;,,, 20 tha toriY
~, ~. - -. mi, rIaa for cop,-
49,. ojtilsns tina rigbt
w. ,,,',i,,':' .t,i,. Iyn labor and not
ta, r., - .,.., g., ,;,,,, t anotbar
NJ -, t,,, ,,,teti,,c, tha f,hla of the
- - ~ - ,,byeician To n
-, -, e. ,,,iot, tha faynar renlied
lni.'ei hotiS' ~ "hion 'no '1 49,, - H.
tlaJ ne pIeleiIeu 10 e"hpl"y hio"H "
patients ana oil himself Ill inc capacity Vi
physician. He proceeded to say that there
are some Republicans who are willing to al
Io,y the Denlocrats 10 prescribe for tariff re-
f,,,, ,,r,,,iJino- tba, aro prosent and see the
,;'ii %G,,ti,,ui,, he sid he rem
.I ol,' ~, sa,,a,' ~ tnrfr rarorm
,,T,IrS.I ,,, ,.oCorn, INEQUALITIES al
anu P. Pioiseu " a. Nil, In ,,,os
| in the hands of the free trade Democracy ne
looked with suspicion upon their efforts 10 re-
form the tariff.
Referring to the deadlock on the direct TAX
| bill be"dropped into poetry" as follows;
The Brigadiers ring the caucus DELL
The dough-iace cries for shalio
III not DC oosseu ny ,he ,i hr's a',,
,., put nc rs Mn XII ba said IL was
, w - - ,nnsts and syndi-
cateS, eSpeIiaiy vi vno 'us"i =, ,,,,ari-
uen' Cto' ei''ii,i "''I e, ia oa,,onotad tho
can III i4ls ,au Jay ~ avo.y No
',,, h,,+ a,,. own Hare again
tioh uiiuer 'lo SUI, s puU Uu' u" ntrr uo s,g-
Ine sie ar AZ ~ NSsSs,'i th,t the comic
eesVo" " anon % 49, it'll to
ope'" no l.''' 1900 - - ,,,rrras+ad
ms sIy 10 Vi - 49,, 'I ~ atl,'i, H.,
In''o il,Stt'u 'hei eot NC ISL 81 'Ui' ''e
Xo,,'ro' an no trae.ton,
| WbiIe we are in mower
| Your cradle will rock,
But if the tariff "busts'
The cradle will fall,
And down will come sugartrllst'
MINIS pm anu AL. ,.,.. A.. ,i..,,.u
pr II ne iiisiS'eu oii ,iS'ns " .liao
realm Oh Motiler uo ,,'. Nc woulu susses''
Lutte boS n'ut' 20 nt do not Touch ,rr
'''o" rice
| 0The gentleman from Mississippin Mason
| want IN "compIaius bitterly because cows in
| his state do NOT give as much milk as they do
| in New England and hens do not lay as many
| eggs. If there is anything under heaven
| that will stop a LAYING hen or dry up cow
| it is to be brought up under the influence of
free trade" The gentleman, however,
boosted of their beautiful women and brainy
men. They might have brainy men in Mis-
| sissippi, but if they did, then it was another
illustration of the saying that "You never
can tell the kind of goods a man keeps by
the samples he puts on the road" Laugh
teri
Allen-Are we to Judge of your fathers
| skill by his products
Mason-You are Anybody who don't like
h i,lS ,, ~, ~ !, on not hnsv
o,ro ,,,ban the hriqodiers GOT hack into con-
oress the prodigal-son act worked very well,
but now it did not fit their case. Said he:
"You are back in your fathers house because
! he caught you by the nape of the neck and
seat of your pants and brought you back.
| You did not say: Father, l have sinned
| against thee. | am not worthy to
be one of the family; make me
hostler' This is not the kind of
prodigal you are. You come in at the front
door, wipe your feet on the carpet, and try
to drink out of the fire extinguisher. You
do not wait for the fatted calf. You put
your feet on the table and say: What l
want is veal"
During Mason's speech the Republican Side
of the house was in imminent danger of gen