Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1888-04-08
MATRIMONY.
MARION HARLAND ON TEE susJEcT OF
CHOOSING A HUSBAND.
The Father Last 70 Give Consent Requi-
sites Of Husbana-cleanlines Of
Hesrt-Words Of Wisdom.

sites Of Husbana-cleanlinss Of
Hesrt-Words Of Wisdom.
For the Dispatch-Copyriehted 1851
As a rule, fathers are reluctant 10 have
their daughters marry. Tho mother.
who knows for herself what arc the trials
OF q wites lot and upon whom the sepa-
ration Of the girl from homo and family
falls most heavily, yields her up more
oheerfully. The matchmaking mama
IS a stale and stock joke with misogv-
nistS, hut who ever heard of the ma
nWuvring papa? Yot the Sstute pro-
WIDER. in forecasting the future. should
see more distinctly than his spouse the
approach Of the day when sheltcring
walls and arms will have fallen away
from the lonely spinster, leaving her the
forloTnest being alive always and every
where excepting a confirmed old bache-
loT
THE UNWILLING FATHER.
In spite of foresight and worldly pru-
dence the father of many daughters and
narrow means frowns and sighs at the
suggestion of relief from the burden that
may come through the marriage Of his
giIls They may be eXtravagant and
undutiful. hut they arc his, and he grows
savage at the thought Of giving them
INTO other mems keeping. There Is no
s3cctation in his unwillingness or saw
aCery. So well established rs the snO-
maly that II is the mother, III most
cases of the heart" who suppresses
Der jealousy OF the stranger who has
robbed her Of the first place in her
chla's affections. and becomes the young
PEOPLES mediator with her irate lord.
From the standpoint OF the ordinary
observer. the situation Is so nearly phe-
uomeuM IS to provoke speculation and
questioning. The latter is met with
vscuest evssions. The father doesn't
want 70 lose his girl There is time
crou1b-she is only baby yet. He Is
wiling and glad TO take care OF her.
What does she want with q better
home - end dozen # cefcras that
throw no more light on the true inward
ness Of the case.
HARD or THE MN.
A little while ago l interviewed &"
thc father OF one daughter. and she pass
iug fair on this vexed and vexatlous
point He is a man who understands
himself aud knows how TO eay what he
means. 80 when his open brow darkened
SO q hint that his girl might not always
ne his alone, pushed inquiry. 1t did
got satisfy me to be told that he had 8
lolled revolver and bulldog ready for
auv fellow who should dare ask for his
darling; that the best thing n man could
to. and the worst thing q woman ever
did. was T. marry. Sensible citizens,
even When fathers and fond, do not rave
caustlesssly. Presently he steadied down
luto calm Conference.
cit Is because We kno'c men-how
coarse in grain many of them are how
alfshiv inconaderate are the best OF
them how dull of sensbiity and slow
& apprehension are all of us when COM
rarad with w0men-thst We shudder to
resign our teniorly-uurtured girls TO
Them. " bee said. feehngly. Men under
stand what / mean And marriage is so
,.Ir1bV lrTevOcable
" But You married
Yes. aad have been glad Of It, on
uv own account, ever since. Had L
known q woman's needs and nature then
SIS 10 now, her delicate senHbilitles
her capacity for love and for suffering, L
could never have had the presumption to
oder her marriage with myself.
WOMAN HAPPINESS.
The more refined the mans nature
the more strongly does lie feel what this
true husband and nob.emsn OF Gods
own making expressed. Yet, despite
Lis testimony. the truth abides that the
best earthly happiness for woman IS
found il q judlciOus marriage that IS,
when her choice IS wisely made, there
are no particular miseries in woalock
no thorus on which she would not step
were she to remain celbate. Ii IS only
through her failure TO enter-as the
church service puts it" dIscreetly
mon this ordinance Of divine appoint
ment that inevitable sorrow Is incident
upon It.
THE TRUE MAN.
The first requisite IN a husband is that
be should appreciate the value Of that
which be has won, and, Ringing directly
upon this. that he should make himself
worthy 10 be mated with true, noble
woman. The mother cannot begin too
early 10 impress upon her boy mind the
Thought that purity in thought, word,
and person is as truly his duty as 1t Is
ms SISTERS. There are, thank Heaven
men with hearts and hands rs clean as
those OF the saintiest woman men who
s,orn coarseDoss as loitily a. they do
dishonesty upon whose garments there
Is not so much as the smell OF the hires OF
temptation through which they have
ra,.ad. Such a mans disdaln OF IN
furitv carries with it more weight than
wooan's natural aversion TO what IS
common and unclean. 1t has tae glorious
dignity OF st. Michael S triumph over the
devil.
Il hate that man :" once said to me a
whi.ed and garnished sepulchre who
called herself a woman of the world.
lie sets himself up, Ia hls quiet fash
in. As a moral Gibraltar. / told HIM
o.e Of nv best stories at dinner party
Ne other niCht-a story that was de-
cdedly piluant and little cay1are-lsh'
Won know. Everybody else was III
raroxysms of laughter. lie set his
handsome face like a marble mask and
rrouIdut see the point somehow lie
always puts me at such disadvantage
taqt / could murder him sometimes
The wife of a vicious nan cannot be
happy if she remain really vlrtuous The
wlfe Of one who il foul IN Imagination,
needless and coarse in speech, must sink
70 bis level or suffer acutely. slow martyr
dom none the Jess cruel that 1t is dumb
and unsupported.
TIE MATTER or TEarPER.
Second 10 cleanliness of heart and lie
ne may rate an equable, well'managed
temper-a very different quality, let US
observe, from amiability. a quick
generous temper goes 50 often with IN
diligence and feeling, and slowness IS
80 pervasiye, that we have cause to dis
- 4I,o ,ovvare ~ q man "a no never