Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1888-04-19

N"hmoh recurrence.
~ all our lives there are episodes
winch we would be glad to forget; Of
winch we are so much ashamed, that
we scarcely dare to think OF them. and
when we do, find ourselves hurriedlv
mnttering the words we imagine we
ought to have said, or making audible
apologies Tor our conduct to the air.
anu yet these are not always episodes
which necessarily involve g tanoihla
sense OF wrong either to ourselves or
Others, Some such episode in a COM
mon-plaee life, such as must have
fallen to the lot of many men. we
would here reveal.
Once upon a time-to commence in
an orthodox fashion-a man and n
maid lived and loved. On the WON.
ans part the affection was "a
pure and generous as ever filed the
breast OF a maiden; on the mans. as
warm as his nature permitted. His
rove dld not absorb his whole soul. il
rather permeated his mind and color
ed his being. Like most men of This
not uncommon stamp. his affection
once gwen is given forever. His was
not lubilant nature, nor did his feel.
ings lie near the surface. and his man.
ner was undemonstrative. Thecirl was
ciear-sighted enough to see what love
there was, was pure and true, and she
made up FORTS scarcity with the over.
moving oil her sympathetic nature.
enc ideaiized rather than condoned.
enc gave IN such measure that she
Could not perceive how little she was
receiving IN return; or if she noticed it,
ner CONSCIOUSNESS of its worth seemed
10 her a fuil equivalent. He was an
artist; and circumstances compelled
the lovers to wait, and at the same
time kept them apart. A couple of
days, once a month, and a week
now and again, was a limit
OF the time they could spend
together, This, of course. prevented
them getting that intimate knowledge
OF each others personality which both
recognized as an essential adjunct to
the happiness OF married life, though
they did their best to obviate it by
long letters, giving full details OF daily
events and ofthe society in which they
moved. The remedy was an imper-
feet one. Strive as they might, the
sketches were crude, and the letters
had tendency to become stereotyped.
We only mention these details TO show
that they tried to be perfectly honest
with each other.
While the girls life, in her quiet coun.
try home, was one that held little varie-
" IN It, 1t was part ofthe man 5 stock
in-trade to mix with society and to
observe closely. Whether he liked it
or not, he was compelled 10 make
friends to such an extent as to afford
him an opportunity OF guaCing char
acter. Unfortunately tor he pur-
poses OF my study, he had no SYM
pathy with pessimism or pcssimists.
lie loved the good and the beauti-
| ful for their own sakes, and in his art
loved to dwell on the bright side of
nature, a side which the writer has
| found so much easier to meet with
than the more sombre-colorinc we are
constantly told is the more predomi.
mating one in life. Like most artists. he
was somewhat susceptible, but his
susceptibility was on the surface; the
inward depths o. his soul had never
been stirred save by the gentle
| girl who held his heart, and she was
such as to inspire a constant and
/ growing affection rather than DEM
onstrative passion.
At one OF the many houses at which
he was welcome guest, the lover
found young girl bright, sensuous,
beautiful. Unwittingly, he compared
her with the one whose heart he held,
ard the comparison was unsatisfac-
tory 10 him; do what he would, the
| honesty of his nature compelled him
| to allow that this beautiful girl was
the superior, IN a number of ways. to
her to whom he had pledged his life.
| He was caught in the Circe's chains
of golden hair, and fancied-almost
hoped-yet feared lest, like bonds OF
cobwebs in the fairy tale. the tolls
were too strong for him to break.
He could see, too, that the girl re-
garded him with feeling so warm,
| that a chance spark would rouse it
into flame of love, and this gave her
an interest as dangerous sit was fas-
cinating. HIS fancy swerved. Day
after day he stroye with himself, and
by efforts too violent 10 be wise, he
kept away from the siren till his in
famed fancy forced him back TO her
side
To the maiden in the country he
! was partially honest In his letters
he faithfully told her of his visits, and
as far as he could, recorded his opin-
, ion of the girl who had captivated his
fancy. Too keen an artist to be blind
| 10 her faults. he dwelt on them in his
| frequent letters at unnecessary length.
When the lovers met, the girl ques-
| toned him closely about her rival,
but only from the interest she felt 10
all his friends, known and unknown,
for her love for him was too pure and
strong to admit of jealousy, and he
with what honesty he could answered
/ her questions unreseryealy.
Little by little he began to examine
himself. Which cir. did hereally love?
should he not De doing wrong TO
both by not decidi1g2 The exanina-
! ton was dangerous, because 1t was
not thorough The premises were
true. but incomplete. Yet we should
wrong tim if we implied that no for a
moment thought seriously about
breaking of his engagement. Even
| had he wished, his almost mistaken
feelings OF honor would have forbidden
it. This constant surface introspee-
| tion-a kind OF examination Nnich
had not the subject been himself,
I he would have despised and avoided
could have but one result-an
| obliuuity of mental vision. lie had
a horror Of being untrue-untrue 20
hims If as untrue to his lass, and Yet
| he dreaded causing pain TO bosom
| so tender and innocent. When he sat
| down TO write the periodicai letters 70
| the Girl to whom he was engaged ne
found his phrases becoming more ana
more general and guarded. He took
mains not TO let her know what ne
| felt must wound her, and the Letters
grew as unnatural as they had oeer
the. reverse they were aeS ,,.!. 1eylE ~
| his personality.
The country girl was quick OF per.
ception. The letters were more fuil o.
| sndearing terms than eTeT; they We're
longer and told more of his LIE; yet, be-
tween the lines shceould see that they
were BIZ one whose hea. was not al
rest. aud that a sense of duty and NOT
/ OF pleasure prompted the ample
| details. Their very regularity was
/ paipful. il seemed as if the writer
| was anxious TO act up 10 the lettei
/ of his understanding. She knew thai
;helettrrs were often written when h.
uas t57s.i ont Why did he not DH
I 81 writing. and taking advantage OF
! her love. let her exercise her trust IN
I him. Fauerly She scanned the pages