The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1888-02-29
The Great Problem Solved.

1.-THE Perpetual Motion Coming,
Sure!" was what read as the heading
of an article in the Agricultural Depart
ment in a late issue of this paper. |
read it over little slowly the second
time before l proceeded to read what
followed. Samuel looked up from the
Boston Journal he was perusing and
said, with twinkle in his eye that |
knew meant mischief, " Why, that has
been discovered long ago." Well,
who discovered ii? | have not read
anything about it," 1 said. go L
read about it in the paper a day or two
ago." returned Samuel, with a quiet
chucke. A" 1t said that over 100000 Cor
was it over $4,000, 000N had been spent
in trying to solve the problem of per-
petual motion, when in fact it had
practically been solved long ago by
aComdn's tongue" CHOW, Samuel
Shocks, don't pretend to me that you
ever read that in the paper. You just
invented that YOURSELF" said /. "'Pon
honor didn't" returned Samuel. "I
can show it to you in black and white"
and he hustled about like an old hen
with twenty-five chickens to provide
for, tumbling over all the papers in the
paper-rack, and on the bookshelf and
on top of the secretary, and finally
brought one to me in triumph. Yes,
there it was in black and white, as he
had asserted-the most atrocious libel
man ever wrote. (Of course it ,cdS
man who wrote IT'D L smothered my
just Indignation as best could and OBJ
served, as calmly as summer breeze
signing through a rose-bush, " If the
author of that paragraph can prove this
wonderful discovery there is one dollar
and half awaiting him in the hands
of the agricultural editors of this paper
and the Rural Neto- YORKER" {" Prove
it'll" echoed Samuel, what need of
proving a self-evident fact?" Now |
have noticed that Samuel is very elo-
quent in making assertions Oike other
men, suppose), but his arguments in
proof are liable to be little distorted
and one-sided; or perhaps he thinks his
assertions are self-evident facts and
need no proof. GO wonder if that
man ever watched a number of men in
the field in planting or hoeing-time?'
said |, placidly. Gone of the number
perhaps all of them-being a good
story-teller, he gets interested in the
tale, and finally all stop and lean on
their hoes, while the mans tongue and
story run on and on. OF course the
work is neglected.; but men never stop
to talk, you know, Samuel. Who is it
that drives to the village Just to get
the mail, you know and will be back
right away, but is gone three mortal
hours? Meets a man in the post
office, or in Jones' Office or somewhere,
and just got to talking, you know?' Is
it woman, | wonder?" Samuel fdg-
eted in his chair, but did not answer,
and l went on odd you ever know a
COndn to get on all her outside wraps
for homeward journey, get to the hall
door, and stop and talk, come back to
the stove, still talking, and to travel
three Tong hours between the door and
stove, trying to go home but not able
to stop talking long enough to really
get started? No, Samuel, you neuer
did; but you hare known man to do
that-and your own house, too-while
his poor, patient wife sat with all her
wraps on waiting for him to get his
story told" Samuel got up and put in
some wood, stirring the fire with good
deal of energy, but he was mute. |
went on: Whoi is it that stops TO finish
story or some long-winded argument
after he is called to dinner, while the
dinner is getting cold-but the good
wife's temper isn't?" @ can't stop to
argue now, I've got to do the chores"
quoth Samuel, starting for the barn.
That self-evident fact is proven. Mr..
Editor, you must be looking up that
seventy-five cents.
SERAPHINA S. SHOCKS.