Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-11-29


all that / could ever see of my little
Mabel!
Oh, tho agony that filled me to suf
focation!--the thought that while /
had been nursing that other strange
child my own had been dying, with.
out its mothers hand to sooth and
cling to-
Oh. surely she must be only sleep
ing9 She looked 80 lovely and life
like, with her dimplod rosebud hand
lying so peacefully on her bosom! Aud
yet she had strangled to death; per-
haps her poor. pitrful blue eyes had
been wistfully seaching for me. while !.
her mother. had not been there to save
or help her!
How long stood there motionless.
fearless with sutfocation at my throat
and bursting in agony in my heart l
know not
But at last l became aware that
Philip and his mother were standing
beside the little coffin, too; and Philips
mother was detailing. in her formal,
precise manner, how il had happened.
After beng prepared for bel. the
nurse had allowed her 70 patter around
the room in her little bare feet. and
when my mothcrn.law happened to
look into the nursury on her way
down stairs, she had found the child
building houses with her blocks. She
had reprmlnded the nurse for her
carelessnesS. and had seen the child
put in her bod. (While l. no matter
what my engagements. always unrObed
her myself, and, tiny rs she was. had
taught her 20 fold her hands and say,
Pray God, make Mabel good that
she may come to heaven!' Well. she
was safely in heaven now, while |. her
deSOlate mother. would never know
happiness any more.)
About eleven o'clock the nurse had
hurridly awakened my husbands
mother, and informed her that Mabel
was very III choking aud then they
summoned the doctor; but the delay
and the severity of the attack was ia.
tai. The physician saw ut glance
the case was hopeless. "And you MAJ
thank God" ended my mother-in-Iaw
in her most pitcou5 tone, that You
was spared the trial of her last
agony"
But this was too much. | felt my
self shuddermg in II terrible way; but
when my husband. with the tears
streaming down his face. would have
drawn me TO him, | shrank away.
'Do not touch mel" | shricked,
hoarsely, "You aud that woman -
pointing iiercely at his astonlshed
mother" between you were the cause
of her DEATH
And then l fell forward in dead
faint
think in the days that followed nv
reason to a degree was unsettled. At
times | felt the dreariest apathy anu
indifference; tho next impulse would
be one of eXaltation.
At least the child was happy. notb-
ing could altar that.
But this mood could not last. and
through it all | felt an unreasoniong
enmity aud aversion | WAS at no
trouble to conceal from my husband q
mother.
She was cold and very naughty
woman. and l think she never forgave
| oil |
dead child's coffin.
1t was war to the knife between us
until my life grew to be so intoloraOle.
that tho thought OF getting away from
it took complete possession of me.
Phillip was very patient with mo al
this time, but think my wild words
made an impression on him, too, that
acted like a restraint. There was per
feet gentleness. but no warmth, in the
caresses he gave me. always as though
he were expecting Il repulsc. think
if he had once taken me in his arms
and kissed me with the old iover-lik,
passion, it would have thawed the ic,
barrier of despair that was breaking
my heart.
As it was, my life became so insup
portable that resolved to end it.
\ would go away until l could reason
myself into IL more Christian frame 0
' mind.
Perhaps it would be relief to Phil
, lip. knew so we'll how he dislike
t life without amusement; aud l ha
been dull enough since my child died
4 Perhaps he would even be unconcerne
should never return.
But this thought gave me a strang
s pang, even as l wrote few cold line
D acquainting him with my intention
0 and asking him not to question ii
And then. one dreary March mornin
l slipped out of the house, unobserved
l and went away.
1 How different was this return to III
e old home from what had pictured il
l l threw myself into nv mothers arm.
1 and sobbed out at last the cold weigh
upon my heart
r And yet | was more miserable tha
s ever as the days crept along; and i
my husbands brief but perfectly couI
1 teous letters there was never men
e ton of my going home again. nor
Q word of his coming to me.
Gradually the sorrowing after III
1 lost child was swallowed up in tn
t conviction that had hopelessy alien
ated my husband by my mad. ill-advise
s step. 1 knew his temperament =
4 well.
o How readily he was impressed wit
, external surroundings-cbarmed wit
y what was pleasant Disguised wit
what was disagreeable or stupid. And
q long ago. he had told me was losin
; my looks.
What would he think now, il b
I could see this poor, colorless creature
|. with the great hollow eyes. and hand
It so thin my wedding-ring was contin
n ually dropping off.
My mother was greatly mystified.