The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-12-23
FUN IN TIE SUPREME COURT.
The Justices Roar, and Chief Just!ce
Fuller Nearly Falls Out of His Chair.


From the Neio York Herald.
WASHINGTON. Dec l9.-lt the supreme
court had been transferred to the stage Of a
theater, and to-day's proceedings adver-
t!sed, the sign Standing room only" would
lave been visible before the curtain went
up. and when the last act OF the drama had
been concluded IL is fair TO assume that the
entire company would have had to respond
to the enthusiastic calls of the audience
Hilarity reigned supreme in the court room.
The usual sedate and solemn justices gave
way before the wit and humor Of counsel
and were convulsed with laughter. and the
walls of the court room rang merriiy. The
fun began when the clerk announced case
No l35-Robert II. Anderson. appellant
VS. Henry T. Miller & Co.-and John D.
Wise, the congressman from Virginia,
! arose to state the case In behalf OF the ap-
pellant.
1t involves the validity Of patent for a
patch intended TO reinforce drawers in the
| crotch. Mr.. Wise Is a bright, witty young
| lawyer, bubbling over with good spirits,
! and with mobility Of countenance rival
ling that Of the best OF comedians. He
seized at once upon the opportunity for a
display Of his talents as a fun maker, and
with anecdote, sarcasm and raillery kept
the court, Justices lawyers, spectators and
all in roar. Mr.. Wise opened by reading
from his brief the opinion Of Judge Hughes.
of the United States circuit court for the
eastern district Of Virginia. in this case
This opinion is remarkable for its evity.
Judge Hughes said that 1t was patent
for patch upon drawers, extending from
the back OF the waistband down under the
crotch and up in split form 70 the waist
band in front. OF course it is e patch upon
new drawers before worn. One Of its merits
is that it strengthens. or, to use the euphe1n-
ism of the patent office, 'reintOTceS" the
drawers at the crotch, where catastrophe
is most likely to occur. Then. as state
ment Of his reasons why he did not believe
a patent should be granted for this improve
ment, Judge Hughes said:
PATENT ISADMIssIBLE.
ut strikes me that patent for patch
upon drawers, designed to remedy the evils
Of rip and tear to which they are liable in
the crotch, ought never to have been
granted, interfering as it must necessarily
do with the prerogative of the housewives
OF the civilized world 70 patch the drawers
Of their husbands, fathers and sons freely in
their own way, with no patentee to modest
or make them afraid.
at is impossible that theEpatch can be
novel as 10 the simple matter of strengthen
ing the seams and material Of drawers in
the immediate region of the crotch; for If
would be q ref ection upon the housewives
of civilized society not to admit that for
hundreds of years they have been in the
habit of patching the garment and the
forks thereof by tapping the seams and re-
inforcing' the rents in that region. As to
the disorders CT mems drawers in and near
the crotch, which have troubled housewives
for centuries, | do not think any person in
our day and generation can employ patch
for the purpose of preventing or curing
them that can have any real novelty"
Mr. Wise dilated upon this opinion at
length, and with inimitable gesture and
expression warned the justices of the i'm
portance Of the case to the feminine portion
of the community, ami of the wrath that
was impending over them. Concluding, he
said the case resembled the game of faro
There is this difference, however" said
the speaker. In faro the dealer gets all
the splits and in this the splits are all
against the dealer" At this sally the court
lost all likeness to its usually serious and
dignified self The laughter became bois-
ferrous and every one gave way freely to
his feelings. Chief Justic. Futi5r could not
restrain himself and nearly fell out of Lis
chair Justice Harlan's hugo form and
big, rosy, round face became convulsed
with laughter until it became almost apo
plectic Justice Gray made strong effort
to preserye the dignity of the court, but ne,
too, was compelled to succumb and join in
the general merriment.