The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-06
SOME THINGS BOYS WRITE.
The Amusing Things That Creep Into
the Essays OF Youth.

Inc ESSAYS OF 1OuCn.
From MocMiItan's Magazine.
Boys IL emes or essays are generally
worth reading, for, dull as they are for the
most part, they abound in literary sur
prises. The following obscure passage is
from junior theme on Robinson Crusoe
There have been many claims as to the
authorship of this volume, as a gentleman
assured Rev. Benjamin Hobby that Lord
Somerset told him that Lord Oxford wrote
it when he was in prison, and that Lord
Oxford had given it to Defoe. !"
Then as to the place where this inter
esting work was written. Some say
that Defoe was under the frowns
of the government when he wrote
it: Others Say that it was writ Zen in a little
village in Kent, and others in a field at
Stoke Newington, but that it was written
when he was under the frowns of govern
ment is thought most probable" And here
is remark apparently directed against the
church militant, occurring in theme on
"Ancient and Modern Warfare" Flight
ing is not so much now man against man as
cannon against cannon But it would be
an endless task to record the absurdities
produced by bad spelling. One of my essay
lists had ali eloquent passage on a short-lived
genius: "Kirk White was soaring upward
to try and make distinguished man of
ull1Scll WDcu uGAbL Sblll5 bli uCh Nun,
in the words Of the poet Byron: %, what
a noble heart was here undone. )"
The next specimen is from history pa
per: HE got into a row for dressing UP
like girl and going into some sort of
woman's rights meeting" The boy was
aiming at tho rites of the Bona Dea This
entireiv irrelevant answer was on one oc-
cason given to the demand: Describe the
translation of Elijah;n 81 do not know
fha ftsoo clatipf1 Of Elijah 10 ht,f he
translation of Meme. Meme, Tekel, Upharsin
is as follows: Unfortunately it did not fol-
low at all. The boy who produced the next
answer had bee hoaxed, but am assured
it is a genuine product of the Oxford and
Cambridge local examinations. Q. What
do you kaow Of Isaac Walton. A. He
wro Q the complete Angler, and was such
an enthusiast III his art nat he was termed
the 'judic!ous Hooker"
A note will be needed to elucidate the
next sample. Q. WHAT is the eclipiicF'
A. AN imaginary liuo going round
tire equator. II seems to be the path which
the earth goes round, but IL is really the
path to heaven.n This Is due to miscon-
ception of the definition given in tae text
book: "fhe apparent path Of the sun
through the heavens" l shall make no
attempt TO classify the authors of the mis-
cellaneous blunders that follow Jenny
Lind" saws one, ''sang at Exeter hal I'd
gave the proceeds TO the London hospital,
also called Miss Florence Nightingale" The
boy who started a proposition of Euc id
with these words: Let A b be a straight
line, which is impossible was pain v
something Of philosopher.
"Candsnte nitens elephanto,n Looming
on fiery elephant" IS graphic picture
from the battlefield; but have my doubts
whether the following. related from pub
lie school, Is not apocryphal "Rusticus
auidam publicos lud spsciabat, p" "a coui-
try gentleman WAS inspecting the national
scnools.n 'Eere fabis atio,' says Virgil;
Truly I anFfull Of beans.n says a trans
lator. "Vivax apium" has been not I'M
naturally rendered ''rhebusy bee,n but his.
was the work of an Oxford Undergraduate.
More boyl Ike, perhaps, is the following:
''Vetue a a Grecque." "Virtuo,s IN
Creek
Many Of my readers VIII remember the