The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-07-26
WISE AND OTHERWISE.


Husband-Can't help it, my dear
That Omelette this morning was simply
perfection
Grocer-'Half a pound OF tea Which
will you have, black or green ?
Servant-'Sure, either will do. It's for
an old woman that's nearly blind
Time Tries all Things, and has proved
that DR.. Wistar's Basam cf Wild Cherry
is the remedy par excellence for the
cure OF coughs, colds, Group, whOoping
cough, bronchitis, asthma, sore throat,
and influenza. 1t cures coughs, in
stanter, and even consumption yields to
its magic influence.
Lady of house ito tramp)-If you'll
saw up that wood you can have this pie.
Tramp-Lemme tackle the pie first
while I'm ekal to it Burlington Free
Press.
A correspondent says: MY names
Somerset. I'm miserable bachelor. /
cannot marry, for how can hope to
prevail on any young lady possessed Of
the slightest notion of delicacy to turn
a Somerset
1T Is NOT BEST
to always believe everything that per-
son tells you, but when your hear that
the best blood purifier Is Sulphur Bit
tiers, you can believe it, for they cured
me of a severe case of blood poisoning.
-[Rev. A. Fairchild, New York City.
hear you have broken with Miss
Strong2
Yes. l found that she was a woman
with will of her own. 1t was ques-
breeches. and l choose the former.
Well, James, said the chiropodist, we
must keep up with the times. Look al
this new sign. Capital exclaimed the
assistant. That will surely catch the
public, then they went out and tackled
up a sign that read: CorDs removed
while you wait.
After trying numerous so-called ca
tarrh remedies and receiving no benefit
| was finally induced to try Ely's Cream
Balm, and after using one bottle take
great pleasure IN recommending it to al
sufferers from catarrh.-TN N. L. Gorton
with s. Gorton & Co., Gloucester, Mass
was a sufferer from catarrh for fit.
teen years with distressing pain over my
eyes. The disease worked down upoI
my lungs. used Ely's Cream Balm
with gratifying results. Am apparently
cured.-[Z. G. Warren. Rutland, Vt.
Apply Balm into each nostril.
Customer (getting measured): How
much are these trousers going to cos
meT' Tailor-'Twenty.two dollars, sir
How many pockets do you want Ii
them?' Customer--'None, won't nee,
any packets after I've paid for tn
trousers
| j John, d.dear, she sobbed, D-did yol
ever think how near death is to us all
Wh-what would you ever DIDO, dear j.
John, if l should d.d-dief
Well, said John, musiDgly, don
know as had ever thought of it before
my dear, but now now you speak of il
my first impression is that should bur,
you.-[Somerville Journal.
A STORY OF ABUSE,
Not Of an abused human being, but o
an abused part of human being,-al
abused liver. 1t is abused by being lie
alone when it first complains. PANE
Celery Compound cleanses and invigor
gates the clogged and torpid liver, an,
cures the worst cases of liver complaint
Mr.. Agile TO Mr.. Stoutman, after
hard run for street carl-By Jove, oil
boy l thought you were too lazy t
run like that.
Mr.. Stoutman Qanguldly)--Easily ex
planned, my dear boy; laziness runs i
our family,-IDetroit Free Press.
Who is that lady dressed in black
mamma asked Bobby, as he sat wit
his mother on a ferry-boat, That is
Sister of Charity, my boy. replied hi
mother. Bobby pondered deeply for
moment and then he said, which is sh
mamma, Faith or Hope P Bazaar.
100 MEALS FOR 500.
The high cost of most prepared food
prevents many persons from using them
But the dollar size of Lactated Foo
prepared for infants, costs less than fiv
cents per quart, making it a cheape
food for infants than cows milk alone
besides being far healthier.
Aunt Dinah (reading the paper)-
sees, Rastus, by de papah, dat poultr
am quoted as very quiet.
Uncle Rastus-Well, lee glad OBJ da
an reckon I'd better negotiate TO- som
dis ebenin'. Dat chicken we had la
Sunday, ole CONAN, made noise 'noug
ter rouse de hull neighborhood.
The mother was taking violent exer
else in the shape of playing one of Was
ner's most athletic pieces on the plan
| nAyrarinp, l,a r,hAla lnpnfh Of tho Eax
board, crossing hands and really putin
in some very conscientious work. tn
child watched the performance intently
but with puzzled air. When peac
was declared and the active combatar
turned around, the little girl gravel
asked: Mamma were you playing some
thing or we're you busting
A popularity of Hoods Sarsaparilla
that while it purifies the blood, it in
parts new vigor to every function of th
body.
An Iowa woman lost her false teeth
few mornings since. She searched a
over the bed and could not find then
Then she felt burning and gnawin
pain in her stomach, and concluded sh
had swallowed them. Her symptom
became alarming and she was about I
send for the doctor, when the lost teet
were found between the feather an
straw ticks.
An infant was crying fretfully in h
mothers arms in a street car the otht
day, when she turned to a man at h'
side with the request of: Wud you plai
to LUX cross at him, sor He'll think il
his father and kape sbtill
A policeman who had offered his han
to young woman and had been refuse
arrested her and took her to the static
house. "What is the charge again
this womanw asked the inspecto
Resisting an offer, sir" was the repl,
She was discharged and so was ii
officer.
We have a speedy and positive cuI
for Catarrh, Diphtheria, Canker Mout
- co. M N