Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-06-09
Saturday Smiles.

make your wife cry once a fortnight" says a
doctor. sand she'll be healthy" Yes, exceedingly
healthy; but the probability is that you won't
Judge.
Day after the wedding: "Charles dear, now that
we are married there should be no secrets between
Us. so please hand Inc the bottle OF hair dye you
Will md On my dressing table.-Iruh.
CLARA" said the old man from the head OF the
stairs, SAY 10 the young fellow that storm is
coming up"
'An right, sir; thanks" responded the young
fellow himself 81 hadn't noticed IL. I think III
wait and see If it doesn't blow over."-New York
Irate student-''Dont you ever sweep under the
bed, I'd like 10 know"
Calm Chambermaid-"I always do. prefer 1t
10 dust pan. - Harvard LdnpOon.
A gentleman said 10 a minister: when do you
expect TO see Deacon Logan"
Never said the reverend gentleman solemnly. .
'the deacon Is in eayen."-1erds SJftings.
Wife-''W hich ball club beat to-day, J0hnw
Husband tdejectedly)-"The other one."-TAe
Judge.
No Great Improvement Edisnn's agent -
wouldn't you like to buy phonograph? It will
store up everything you say and repeat it to you.
Omaha man-'No; got a wife "-Omaha World
=, Customer Cto grocer's clerk)-'Isnt this young
Clerk-"That is my cognomen, SIR,
Customer-"I thought you were going into Jour-
naIism on leaving college?'
Clerk-"I did for a little while. You will find that
codnsh DELICIOUS. sir; any thing else to-day?-Ne,p
York SaUi.
Teacher-"Now. children, here we have the word
fntuition; who can tell me what IL means?- Phe-
nOnenally Bright Standardization rs that fac
ulty OF the human mind which enables a person
TO distinguish at glance a patent medicine ad-
vertisement from real news arJicle."-Judge.
Mrs. Gadabout-''Oh, there you are. with your
devoted husband. Mrs. Loyematch. I often think
how much he resembles the letter a. because he
and are always together" Mrs. Lovematch-
''strange that should have had the same Thought
about your husband. He Is very much ike o. be-
cause, while he has less 10 do than any OF the
others, he never comes after ur'-June Table TAX.
Df.f.I haas
cure on Jawkins-" Wiggins-"Yes; IT'S a great
thing for rheumatism Bobiey-Indeed, Is he
stronger" Wiggins-"No; but the rheumatism is.
It's got him ali twisted up in a hard knot now. ~
Judge.
queer thing, that. about Judkings, isn't it?r
said a friend To his nelghbor
queer? Why, what's the matter with Jud.
kinE5?"
why, he's lost all his property"
''Well, he's In luck He mad lust enough Tn ha q
| bother 10 him. "-KartfOrd Post
~ say, my friend, Is that gun LOADER,
well, for heavens sake. then, don't point it at
| II want you 10 know" said Mrs. Snapper to her
| husband, 'that facts are stubborn Things
Il know It. he answered meekly, woman is q
\ fact."-BOstOn Courier.
| DemoDtagu Upten-"Grasgren me bow how like
/ ye Miss BOOdie?'
| Grasgren-.I think she's chawming girl. blu,
| she Will powder her face and arms and ruin INV
coat; us the one thing have against her ~. Y
| Tribune.
Changes Of Fashion-Mother (of pretty dauyh.
ter(-"is II possible? And 50 you belong TO CLUB.
| u Is al wrong; all wrong Young men did not
| have social clubs when was girl"
| Young Man (sadly)-"I suppose not. Kissina
| games were the fashion then. Omaha World
Why toll iire-alarm bells when q good man
1ies?-Bost0R Commonwealth
| patch on a boys trousers f. something new
| under the son.-BostOn Irateiler
! Confirmed bachelOr-"How time does nv Miss
| Seaside! Why, II was ten years ago that you re.
| fused me on this spot"
Miss seaside (who wishes she hadn't)-.So Iona
| as mat! L was young and foolish then, Mr.
bachelor-"But we are both older and wise,
| now."-HGrard LanlpooH.
81 shall have 10 tell your father, Eight-year-
old younSster-'1 don't care for that: my fathel
l isn't my boss" Who Is my lad?" Mother IS: shs
Il makes US both stand round at home
| Mrs Upton Flatte-"What are you busting the
\ furniture with. Bridget7D ~
Brldget-"Wiv Their dust-pan. mum, what else,'