The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1888-06-15
PITH AND POINT.
Spring novelties-Fine days.

Il Il Il IL 49, - - u ~ ~
Spring novelties days.
A host in himself-The landlord
Precipitation never rains-It simply
pores.
Much adleu about nothing woman's
farewell
There are no rounds of drinks in the
ladder Of success.
A pen may be driven, but pencil does
the best when it is lead.
Teacher-''What is lavaln Junior
Girl-''What men put on their faces
when shaving"
Time flies and stays for no man. The
only fellow who can beat it is the must
Merchant Tra5eler.
Agent lat the door)-'Is the lady Of
the house in" Gentleman calling 10 his
Wife: May, is the cook inl'
Mamma-"And who dwelt in the gar
den of Eden, Freddieln Fredde-"Oh,
know; the Adamses r'-Harrdrd Lam-
pooh.
Judge Madame, what is your agel"
She--.'Your Honor, / leave that to the
mercy of the court. "-Bg9dio Com
ntercidL
''Wil the coming man use both
armsi" asks a scientist He will if he
caryes a boarding house duck.-Dgns-
ellie Bree;e.
Leta woman busy herself with hammer
and nails, and it is usually difficult to
determine what she is driving at.-De-
trot Free Press
''May l help you to alightl' said
young man to lady about to leave the
railway car. mo, thanks said she,
II don't smoke
The girl that hath dimple she
Doth know it,
And always bites her pretty lips
To show it.
Mercury
At the restaurant: Naughty Stranger
Your thumb is in my soup, waiter"
Waiter-"Well, it don't take up much
room. If you kick, though I'll fill the
bowl up
A spark arrester is a recent locomotive
device; but nothing seems to ill the bill
of spark arrester so well as a good,
healthy dog with knack of holding on.
-BostoHBadget.
Young Physician (pompously)-"Ycs,
I've called at Mr.. Browns three times
day for a week. He is a very sick man,
Miss Smith" Miss Smith-"He must
be by this time "-Epoeh
An old man who neve. did anything
worse in his youth than throw Il snow
ball at dead cat, will amuse himself by
the hour telling you what bad boy
he was. -PhHddelphid Cal.
Bjones-"That fellow Gagley tried to
borrow $500 OF me this morning"
Smythe-'Five hundred. He must be
crackedr' Biones-''NO; he's not
cracked He's broke. Life.
Lieut.. Boxer Showing his cousin
around the cantonment)-" Would you
like to look at the magazine" Its Just
over there Miss Stuyvesant Thank
you, no. Papa subscribes for them ALL"
The Rev L. d. Huntley, Of Washing
ton. has delivered a lecture on 1.-THE
Girl to Love and How to Treat Her."
The how to treat her depends upon the
season of the year Richmond Dispatch.
1t is all well enough to say that thir-
teen is an unlucky number, but America
started in business with thirteen States,
and seemed to be holding her own up to
the time Of going to press.-L0afoa It'd
Bit.
Husband What is that you are read
ing, my dearlr Wfe-'A letter from
mother Husband Anything i'm
portantT' Wife-"I don't know, l
haven't got to the postscript yet
HarPer's Basar.
Chauncey NJ. Depew the other morn
ing found his coachman's children play
ing about, and he introduced himself.
well, my little man, and do you know
who | aml" Boy Eyes; you're the
man as rides in fathers carriage. -
Mercury.
Sharp Husband-"Been shopping all
day, you sayln Sharper Wife-"Ever
since breakfast" Husband-"W Why,
hadn't but fifty cents 10 give you this
morning." Wife-"That was plenty. l
never pay more than that for lunch
Omaha World.
Tramp Ito partner)-"Did the old man
give up anything, Bill" Partner
''Nawr' Tramp ''What did you say to
him." Partner-'I asked him il he
couldn't help poor man who was out o
work, aud he sad he could give me
some work Times seems to be gettin'
wuss every day. "-Epo.A
Envious Young Nam Speaking of
favored rivaD-"Yes, George is clever
and handsome, but he is so abominaoiy
conceited." Sharp Young Lady -''But,
Mr.. Dumley, if you were handsome and
clever, would not you be conceitedf
"a few moments reflection, followed by
total collapse of Dumley.l -Hfrpers
Efz1r