The Arizona champion., 1888-10-20

An Sorts Of Items,

Bread riots result from 700 NucN
loaf.-vpetroit Free Press.
We presume that Cork has q
large floating population. -Yonkers
Statesman.
There is more profit in smoking
fish than in smoking Cigarettes
Boston Courier.
The dude can vote while the idiot
can't. That's the difference
Terre Haute Express.
The dentist should make good
working politician. He is always
ready to take the stump,
In Boston the neck Of q chicken
is called Napoleon, because it is the
bony part.--Albany Union,
Financial straits won't send
man to Canada nearly as quick as
financial crookeds. Rochester Jew
ish Tidings.
There are no Anarchists in Craw-
louisville, Ga. A soap mine has
been discovered there, --Pittsburg
Chronicle,
Every dog has his day, and just
now the political pointer is in active
demand in the United States.--
Toronto Globe.
The Chinese raise dogs principally
for their skins. Naturally they
like those which have plenty Of
bark. Boston Post,
All, there!-Patron--Doos that
Chinaman ever patronize you.
Bootblack / never Chinese
boots.-Lowell Citizen.
Cain was the first base man.
Abel was the first man struck out,
after he had just made sacrifice
hit.--Terre Haute Express,
Expansive hats are nov being
made for gentlemen who get full to
the brim and want hat that is not
felt.-Drake's Magazine.
The New York Sun deprecating-
ly remarks: Nobody has invented
q continuance whereby a man at
the theatre can drop q cent in the
slot and get cloys,
We notice that a waterspout
burst in Kentucky the other day.
A waterspout that would go into
business in Kentucky might expect
to burst with no assets -Roston
Budget,
The recent suicide Of telephone
girl indicates that the suffering of
those who use the instruments is
sometimes too much even for the
chosen agents Of the inquisition.
Chicago News,
'The race problem viii never be
solved until the negro voters pre-
divided" shouted an Arkansas
orator. Then he sLarpeRed up his
bowie and divided one of them
Terre Hsute Express.
'1'm so sorry you split the ink"
said the poets wife. "Has it gone
over your poeml" "No, confonnd
i'll" returned the poet sadly, 1T
went over my postage stamps. -
Life.
Among the advertisements In a
Philadelphia paper lately was this;
"Wanted--A lady TO gather infor-
nation. Must have great courage
and Judgment and no encumbrance."
A Great Truth--"You have
heard cat purr, l supposed" asked
the Judge. yes" replied the
Major. "But, outside Of poetry,
you never heard q Cowper, -
Pittsburg Chronicle.
Clergymen on vacation ought to
he back in their pulpits now. Satan
left the fashionable water!ng.places
some weeks ago and will soon be
working the cities In the same old
way.-N. o. Picayune.
New border--Where is the knife |
with this piel Mrs. Hashcroft
(loftily)---We never furnish knife
with pie here Mr.. Billings, New
border (unabashed) We'll, gimme
the ak, then.--Terre Haute Rxr
press.
The smell Of gas became so strong
that they burst open the door, and
the doctor and landlord rushed in. |
"Open the windows" shouted the
excited physician. ''Shut of the
gas," shouted the excited landlord.
Life.
Tramp lin bar room)-"There
was funny discussion going ON in
Pittsburg when left. 1t was on
a point Of grammar, and the ques-
ton was: (which il correct
let's you and 1 take drink, or let
YOU and l take drink" Phil
q, Iainb;a HHumnbt Easv epouoh