The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1888-06-08
THE SYNTAX OF HUMANITY.
Graduating Address Of VIM. G. Hankins
MAJ a 1All

THE sYNTAX OF HUMANITY.
Graduating Address Of VIM. G. Hankins.
Nay 81, 1883.
| When Adam was placed here below
in the garden Of Eden, he was q verb
in the infinitive mood. as he was not
limited by a subject. And indeed he
must have been in very melancholy
mood with nothing to do and no one
to tell him how. But God seeing it
was not good for him to be alone gave
him one, Eve, subject, which
changed him from an infinitive to a
finite verb in the potential mood hav-
ing power to see an object in living.
And since husband and wife are one,
in the syntax of humanity they may
be applied as noun. They are most
ly common nouns, though some are
extremely uncommon and raise more
cain in Sunny Kansas than our fore
fathers did on the prairie just outside
the garden of Eden. But they have
their modiflers to whom they some.
times look for support in old age and
often look in vain; these are adjectives.
Adjectives are either limiting or quail.
flying; limiting it, the same manner
that a girl limits her fathers pocket
book, and qualifying as boy who fol-
lows the advice of bis mother. In
some families these adjectives become
very numerous and may then be called
mineral adjectives.
Stepmothers are pronouns in the
possessive ease, their husbands being
verbs in the imperative mood and
without voice. Stepmothers should
however be parsed in the objective case
when the adjectives OF the household
have not yet reached a majority.
Mothers.in-law are relative pronouns
as they relate to their antecedents ia
such way as to connect phrases, often
with serious consequences.
Gossips are interrogative pronouns.
They not only ask but answer ques-
tons and their answers require an in
terrogation point. For instance one Of
the pronouns just mentioned on seeing
an old broken blueing bottle in the
back yard runs Immediately to tell
all who would listen that some of the
neighbor boys had been ON a drunk
for she found their bottle behind the
barn.
Teachers are sort of compound or
complex or duplex participates. They
generally partake Of the property of a
verb and invariably of an adjective.
AS verb they usually govern many |
objects; as adjectives they modify the |
perplexities of the objects they govern,
and limit their attention to particular
subjects.
Dudes are, Alb, yes! Dudes! Oh,
my! Hal Indeed! Dudes are inter-
jections, and as these are in no way
related to the other parts of speech in a
dudes can be omitted without
the sense of humanity. They
are expressions of emotion only and
can not be used as symbols of thought.
Ministers are conjunctions. Their
work is to connect or join together.
They rejoice more over one sinner that
if he joins their church,
than over the ninety and nine last
years members. But they not only |
but they are excellent hands to
collect. In addition to this they also
|oin the adjectives of different families
together.
Probate Judges are subordinate con-
functions as they join together cheaper
han ministers.
Old bachelors are explosives, which
ire not necessary to the sense but are
Inserted to fill a vacancy or for an
ornament.
Lawyers are propositions as they
how the relation between their object
ought, money. and some man or
woman who is supposed to have an
abundance oft.
Old maids are adverbs, principally
'dverbs Of time, and answer the ques-
ions when? never. How long? forever.
How often? seldom.
Now the question arises, what part !
t speech are we to be in humanity?
'ome of US can never be q stepmother,
nd other sthough We try never 80 hard !
an not be dudes. And not one of as
rants to be an old maid for an instant. /, .
tut if we are verbs, representing =
bought and denoting action in the
ght mood we will be successful in