Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-09-01
RANDOM REMARKS.
BY FREDERIC TOWNSEND.

''--
The use Of the term Limited" is get
ting to be very unlimited. A concern
without much financial backing as
sumes this Anglomoniacal annex, gen
orally. "Thus, "Uptosnut1i & Ubetti,
Limited. bananas and boiled chest
nuts Likewise, youth suffering
from pecuniary structure is apt to limit
his range of society to one agony lady.
The craze for limitation extends even
to railroad passes, statutes, and the
tails of SNOWY roadsters. beg to OBJ
serve:
In these days of corruption gangrsne and decay.
When officials light out leaving bondsmen to pay,
With bankers and aldermen all making hay.
Honest men sink as oft as they swim 1t.
Now fashion steps forward and gives us a chance;
If an excess of silver don't bulge out our pants,
we con hoist II gilt sign and our profits enhance
BY Claiming u partnership limit
-.
Biles, an inveterate poker player and
n very absent-minded fellow, TOO, is
getting married.
She (prompting)-Take my hand.
He (stage whisper)-Can't; I'm broke.
Parson-I pronounce you man and
wife.
"Have you Plutarch's Lives ?"
asked she.
Gust one left" responded the clerk.
-.
The college graduate, just engaged
from the Cornell department of jour
nalism, was back from his first assign
ment-a fire. He sat down at his desk,
and his lurid ideas began to flow.
"P-s-s-s-t-t.l" Speaking tube.)
"Well?" classical reporter.)
Copy" foreman composing room
upstairs
"All right, sir; in moment, please"
Budding journalist sweats his hair off
for three-quarters of an hour, and finally
relinuuishes his task, satisfied that his
manuscript bears the elegance of DIR.
Johnson's.
Then he places the article IN the tin
COPY box and hoists it up the tiue.
Bang clang-smash-b Copy
box falling down the shaft
Whats the matter, sir?' bright
ened novice.t
Your confounded old copy is so full
of jlw-breakcrs they're caught i'll the
line and upset the box
1.-TWO weeks later. Scven-syllabled
member of the staff has been instructed
to condense everything.)
"P-s-s-s-t-t."
"Sliut up! | hear you"
Send up report of Dairy Mems Con-
yention."
Here she goes
iGnn,,ocal lonca pf five SacpnIS !
"P-s-s-s-s-s-t-t-t"
"Drv up! What do you want?"
"Where's that report?'
an the box"
"There's only Il tin can here"
We'll, that's it-condensed milk
Children should learn rapidly in in
,lus.rial schools if old saws are made
plane. Heretofore the bulk of knowl-
edge has been hammered in.
A bachelor friend of rine calls his
neighbours baby "Chestnut," because
he has heard it so often.
Three men stood at bar all day
long, shaking dice for drinks. One of
them stopped me that evening to say
"There are getting to be too many rich
men in this country. The poor men
do all the work. and they get the
profits"
Mr.. Arthur de Bemiss is the idol Of
his clearinghouse, though past forty,
and affects an air of coquettish gal
lantry that fits him rather on the ready
made plan. AT party the other night
he outdid himself in attentions to a
lady and scored brilliant record till
she happened to mention her prospect
i've removal to Chicago.
$50 sorry," said Bemiss, in a fair imi-
tation of u melancholy tone; but, "
frightening up rs faded remnant OF
chivalric quotation was brought to
light in his memory, whats our gain
will be Chicago's loss"
The chill that followed took the va
nilla flavor all out of the ice cream lie
was eating.
Forthcoming books:
"My Slumber in Garden" by A.
Tramp
"Toothpick Papers," by Potter Pal
mer.
"Chestnuts," by E. P. Roe.
"Leayes of Hay and Baled Grass, II
by Walt Whitman and Bill Nye.
Turned On" by Edgar Fawcett,
~
"Iou can learn so much history from
our minister's sermon," said old Mrs.
Simple "He is very hysterical
preacher, indeed