The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1888-11-21
HOW 1T AFFECTED THE MAJOR.
A study of the Effects OF Strong
Drink I'm One Human sy stem.

Alta California
ssSome OF 'ern ketches il in the ed,
some in their blooming legs, and others
in the cart or other hinternal hor-
gsus.n said a reformed bartender, now
a leading. shouting light in the saliva
ton Army, 10 an Aka reporter the
other day in discussing religion and
the effect of intoxicating liquors on
the. human system. Yes, continued
the ex-cocktail amalgamator, sit
catches 'en all somewheres. Some
here some there. You just watch and
see. A man may be drunken n billed
owl. and vet is talk II be orl right.
And again he mayn't be able TO talk
at all. and vet he can Skinny haround
like one of those base ball fellers.
Him talking to you OF my reservoir
stock O. human natur' hobseryatlons.
IL NAV be further stated that the
speaker was a reformed Englishman,
who had seen the error OF his ways,
and had been galvanized-partly.
Only a few mornings ago the fun
force of the above remarks struck the
reporter with the strength OF four
bsgger. Ii WAS 8 O'Clock a. IN. or per-
haps 1. The reporter had just fulfilled
the congenial and exciting duty OF
sitting up with a sick male friend, and
was standing on the corner OF Post
and Kearny streets. undecided whether
to wait for the first uptown ear or
hoof it on. to his homestead near the
Farallones. Suddenly. with a maies-
tic gait, a middle-aged gentleman,
dressed in full evening costume. fash
ionable light overcoat, apparently per
fectly sober, and altogether looking
like a millionaire. strobe up 10 anight-
hawk hack standing ON the corner,
and, entering it, closed the door. The
driver, who was holding an animated
discussion with a tamale man about
the Mills bill, came hurrying up, and,
poking his head in at the window, in
CURED, conidentially, Where 10,
boss2"
"Amadela. and be quick about il,
dive heart" was the reply.
"Beg pardon, Major; didn't quite
get il, said the driver.
"Emadala. stupid Don't you
know where that is, you huddle
mead | saw | want TO go TO Lamar
dea. Everybody knows Medaala, and
that's where | must and will go. p"
Guess know the ropes rs well az
the next one, boss, but don't know
your Emma darling" answered the
hackman, gazing at his fare in Devil
derment.
Emma What Emma? | never
said ANYTHING about any Emma. |
simply told you where 20 drive to. Why
YOU scoandrel. you're drunk,
beastly drunk. IN report you
TO Martin if YOU don't take
me to Adelame. Malaade, you block
head Laadema, Delaama, Ademala,
You wild ass OF Tartary! III tell you
again plainly. for the last time want
-to-eo-to-D emalla, Madaela, Lad
amea. Now d We understand Drive
to Amedaal, you horse thief
Come out OF that hack, you big
hoosier, and I'll show you il you can
abuse me like that. Come out of
that, you crazy fool, yelled the in
furiated driver, and he was preparing
to open the door and snatch the oc-
cnpant hald-headed when the reporter,
who had been delighted listener, IN
terfefed. caimed the driver down. and
presenting himself at the window,
asked Il he could be OF any service
Service Certainly. sir. See, here's
nav card. handing out one on which
was written: Major George High
phlver, Alameda. II wanted that
hackman simply to drive me 10 the
Alameda ferry. told him so as
plainly as possible, and the rufiian
wouldn't DO il. I've been out 20 big
dinner and am anxious to get the last
Alameda boat home The major
was told that the last Alameda boat
had left several hours ago. at which
he expressed great surprise, but ON
the advice OF the reporter concluded
to take a Turkish bath before crossing
the bay. Again calling up the hack
man, he said Never mind going to
the ferry: drive me 10 the haths, the
Bamman Haths-" And he was
driven of. Just then the first car
came along and the reporter went
home. convinced that 'hif it didn't
GO AWAY. 20 their eds OF legs il
sometimes did 10 their tongues.