The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1888-07-05
HUMOROUS.

A wicket game---Croquet.
A rising man-The aeronaut.
Down in tho mouth-The tongue.
From pole to polc---A clothesline.
A cool deed---The title to an ice
house.
The cheeky man is one Of mctal---
usually brass.
The right to pay taxes has never been
denied woman.
There is nothing like good bolt for
breaking deadlock.
The dynamite gun may be said to
have several aims in life.
A yacht can stand tack without
swearing. Few men can.
Fly time and the base ball are very
properly contemporaneous.
Two of Kind: Teacher" "What is
the plural of child9" Boy promptly
"Twius."
1t is absurd to speak of the "foot-
prints of time" when it is well known
that time flies.
Tho preacher tells you that you
should marry for love, and yet he often
marries for money.
Advice to young ladies who are set
ting their caps: Use percussion caps,
so that the ''pop" may be heard.
Some deem it quite an honor just to be
One of the "first settlers in the town;
The best first settler, though, it seems to me,
Is he that pays cash down.
Young Man: "Will you give assent
to my marriage with your daughter,
SIR" Old man firmly: "No, sir, not a
cent"
Doctor-'Did you take the rhubarb
ordered7' Patient-''Yes, sir."
Doctor-"How did you take it2'
| 1 atieut-- ~ PIC.
Teacher: "What advantage had the
old Greeks over us, Hans9' Hans
drawing long breath): "They did
not have to learn Greek"
Teacher-"Sammy, why do you
write your name S. Smith, Marcher'"
sammy-"Why, cause pa writes his ].
Smith, Junior. was born in March"
Before you call attention to the fact
that pig has no use for his tail, please
remember that you have two buttons on
on the lower part of your coat that don't
button anything.
Teacher: "Supposing that eight OF
you should together have 4S apples, 80
peaches, Sc plums and IS melons, what
would each of you havep Pupils Gu
chorus): "Tho stomachachs.
is that all you can give me ma'am,"
pleaded the tramp---"a dipperful Of
water9' 'Why, no, certainly not" re-
piled the woman with the big heart;
"you can have as many dipperfuls as
you like"
He was mumbling about tough steak
and cold coffee, and making himself
generally disagreeable. 'Don't growl
so over your breakfast, john" said his
wife, nobody is going to take it away
from you"
The Bishop of London has risen to be
wit. As he was taking leave of a
parishioner with very large family,
the lady sail: But you haven't seen my
last baby" NO." he quickly replied,
land never expect tor
"You women are the greatestp ex-
claimed Fogg. you'll tramp all over
town just for samples to make a crazy
quilt" YES" replied Mrs. F., very
quietly, "and the samples the men
gather through the day make crazy
head"
Physician (after consultation)-I
congratulate you sincerely" Patient
(smiling) g)-"AmI recoverlngT Physi-
cian-"Not exactly that; but on con-
sultation we find that your case is en-
tirely unique, and we have decided to
give your name to the disease, if our
diagnosis is confirmed at the autopsy"
Featherly (making calD: II sup
pose you will soon be going into the
country, Mrs. Hendricks" Mrs. Hen
bricks: "Yes, we leave for the Cats
kills next week. Mr.. Hendricks will
come up once month for day or So"
Featherly: eyes, heard him say he
was looking forward to pleasant sum
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