Morning journal and courier., 1888-11-28
SIMPLE.

aDid your husband have university edu- cation. Mrs, Newrich4' ''Oh, yes; he grad- uated from the Electoral college. e."-Boston Gazette.
 Many man has been thrown overheard by a maiden because he hadn't sense enough to take smack when it hove in sight.-NeW York Journal.
 An Indiana man has coughed up an accor- deon. All right thinking people must view this event with sorrow. There were quite enough accordeons in the world already Boston Transcript.
 ssThey are working on 8 new telescope" observed DeSmith, "that will bring the moon 1 within sixty miles of the earth." "n the moon is really made of old cheese, |" remark ed DeCantur, ssthat's close enough. "-Chlca- cago Tribune.
 The public will view with alarm the sn- nouncement that the foul fly is to be retained in the base ball field This insectiverous abomination Is bound to be on hand every time. As the Iamented Billings remarked, "Darn a fii."-Boston Transcript. Doing him a rank njustice.-Dumley ito Brown)-"Brown, understand that Robin son referred to me yesterday as an old fool. don't think that sort of thing is right. Brown-"Why, of course it ain't right, Dum- lev. You can't be more than forty at the outside. ."-Hsrper's Bazar. Bagley-"What a melancholy man that Griggsby is" Baily-"Well, guess you'd be melancholy if your wife had just died. " Bagley-"Yes, but Griggsby in continually doing things to increase his misery" Bai- ly-"Indeedf' Bagley-'fYes, I saw him last night at the minstrels. '-Time. Fannie-So you are married. Hattie, and have wealth and all it's possibilities! Hattie-Yes, my husband is very rich. Fannie-And you enjoy it very muchi Hattie-Very much indeed. 1N Hattie-Oh, well, you know in this world, dear, we have to take the bitter with the sweet.-Washington Post 1 An old Bucksport sea captain thus de- 1 scribes the way ;n which he dismissed an un- desirable suitor for the hand of his daughter i recently: ''I just showed him up the com | panionEay and out on the gangplank leading
 from my house, and gently remarked that the 1 wind was off shore and the sooasr he got un- 1 der way the better offing he would get before
 morning. He paid of and bore away down
 the street. ."-Lewiston Journal.
 The late Mr. Edward D. Sohler, the emi nent lawyer once owned horse that was l very fine animal, only 1t wouldn't go ever { l bridge As Nr. Sohlsr lived out in Brooklint | at the time, this was serious fault from hi 1 peint of view and 50 he advertised the horse for sale as follows: "For Sale-A handsome driving horse; the only reason for parting l with him is because the owner is obliged tt go ant of town; terms cash. "-Boston Her
 aid.
 If there be one person more than anothe
 who calls up homicidal thoughts in ou
 breast it is that exasperating mortal-age O
 sex inamaterial-Who will lenRth6n out story beyond the confines of absolute neees
 sity There is Fuddidud. for example. w left him abrnptly the other day when he wa
 in the midst of story, and went to Nev
 York When we returned foIty-eight hour
 later he had just reached the point. To ou
 mind it was the best story we ever hear'
 him tell.-Boston Transcript.
 | In less than half dozen days | The proud and naughty "turk'
 Will be turned topsy -turvy on
 The table with 8 jerk.
 II New York Journal.