davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16
That Swordfsh.

Although our early instructors do their
best to teach us the difference between Sub
| jectn and 'obiect," il seems that one is likely
| to become confused on that head, even after
he is old enough to speak in meetin'." The
following anecdote, told by a country ''char-
scter," furnishes one Of many points of inter
est in Five Hundred Dollars:p
Uncle Cephas Bascom was a shoemaker,
and he never went to sea much, only to an
chor his skiff in the narrows abreast OF his
house, and catch a mess of soup, or to pole a
load of salt hay from Sanquitt Island But
he used to visit his married daughter, in Yer
mont, and up there they knew he came from
the seaboard, and they used to call him Capt.
Bascom So one time when he was there,
they had Sabbath school concert, and
nothing would do but Capt. Bascom must
talk to the boys, and tell q sea yarn, and
draw q moral
Now, Uncle Cephas was rather pleased
with his name of Capt Bascor, and wanted
to Justify it. So he tried to prepare some
thing that would sound nautical 1t seems
he had heard a summer boarder talk in Sab
bath school at Northhaven- He told how q
poor boy minded his mother, and then got to
tend store and then kept store himself, and
the speaker added;
THAT poor boy now stands before you"
So Uncle Cephas thought him up similar
yarn. He had never spoken in meeting be-
fore, and he hemmed and hawed some, but
got ON quite well while he was telling about
u certain poor boy, who, when he grew up,
was out at sea in an open boat, and saw q
great swordfish making for the boat, and
bound TO stave right through her and sink
hsr-and how this man took an oar and
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16
7. WILLIAMS CIGAR.
IT BREEDS TROUBLE AT THE
THOMPSON STREET POKER CLUB.

New Rules Adopted Which Will Improve
the Moral and Financial Condition OF
the Members-Repartee Which Aston
ishes the Meeting.
brief but lurid meeting Of the Thompson
Street Poker club was held last Saturday
evening the Rev Thankful Smith presiding
In view of the facts that the janitor had
thoughtfuily garnisheed the chips as guar
antee of good faith in regard to the last kero-
sene bill that no light was furnished the
club other than the flicker OF the electric
lamp over the way, and that the available
securities and cash of the several members
were temporarily tied up in the shape of
bail in jefferson Market, Professor Brick
moved that the regular exercises be omitted
and that the club go into executive session as
a committee of the whole.
Mr. Cyanide Whiffles seconded the motion.
In addition to the drawbacks already men,
toned by his honorable colleague, he had the
honor to inform the club that he had just
sorted the only pack of cards found on the
premises and had found three jacks, two
aces, two kings and one queen to be missing,
which absentees would seriously MAIN the
chances of opening a jackpot
Mr.. Tooter Williams moved to amend the
motion He had secured at auction the pre-
vious evening a set Of poker dice, and in lieu
of the regular game it would be pleasant and
perhaps profitable to
The gavel fell
"De motion am cyarried wifout de mend
ment, said the Rev. Thankful Smith, a. N
Mistah Toot Willyums am outer ordah."
\ s,-s.l f,af
gentleman.
"Yo' kin spoke jess TO secons," retorted
the Rev Chairman, an dey won't be no
dicin' nor chuckin' on de premesses tonight.
OATS settled, N now eff you'll trow dat punk
outen de windah, 'n"-
'Dats twonny cent cigyahr angrily re-
torted Mr.. Williams
buy one fer twonny cents n yo' gifts de
rester de box for q prizer Iueried the Rev
Mr. Smith, sweetly. "Yo' smokes dat bran
on de hummypath prinsple, TootP
"How-hows dat hummypathp scornfully
inquired Mr. Williams, with rapidly rising
wrath.
'.Smillyer smillybuster," quoted the
learned chairman, on which burst of classic
erudition Professor Brick smiled vigorous
approval
"Wha-whad 20 mean by datT demanded
Mr.. Williams, hotly "Whad yo' mean by
sayin' smillyum smillicus ter met OATS an
insulk, h
"Dat de cigyah, Toot," sweetly explained
the Rev Mr. Smith. "De cigyah am smillyer
smiIiybus OH de hummypath prinsple dat one
stinkah kyores annudder, ~
Here the reverend chairman paused, locked
his thumbs, leaned back and regarded Mr..
Williams with a sunny smile. Mr.. Williams
drew himself up to his full height, slowly
drew on one yellow glove, adjusted the cigar
firmly in the left corner of his mouth, blew a
dense cloud of smoke into the peaceful coun-
tenance of Elder Jubilee Anderson, who sat
beside him and who had taken no part what
ever in the hostilities, flliped the hot ashes
on the kinks of Mr.. Gus johnson, bestowed
upon the chairman look Of mingled defiance
and ferocity, and, assuming his hat with great
hauteur, quilted the room.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16
RAILROAD TIME CARD.
r,...eurr. Cincinnati and St Lou,. k.,

Pittsburg, Cincinnati and ST. Louis Rail.
way Company-Pan Handle Route.
Under schedule In effect June 10th, 1888,
trains leave Springfield central (standardl
time for Xenia, Dayton, Richmond, st.
Louis, Chicago and all points west and
northwest and for Cincinnati. Columbus
and eastward, 6:55 a. M; for Xenia, Day
ton, Cincinnati, Richmond and Indianapolis.
9:40 g. M; for Xenia, Dayton, Richmond,
Indianapolis, st. Louis and westward. or
Columbus, Pittsburg. Philadelphia and New
York city, try our 5 O'Clock evening
train. Makes connection at Xenia with
the new Pennsylvania Special" reaching
Philadelphia 1880 p. m. and New York
p. nj. next day.
But for Chicago and points west and north
west our 7:30 evening train beats them all.
On this train you will find an elegant vesti-
bule combined sleeping and chair car, with
q library Of choice books, a porter to wait
on you, and home like conveniences
throughout. You make a mistake when
you look at the old building here known as
the Pan Handle depot" and compare il
with our train service. The former is bad,
the latter the best on earth.
Trains arrive in Springfield at t7:25 a. m,
$3.50 a. NJ, 5000 a. IN. and $3.50 d. m.
*Daily. tDaily except Sunday.
S. DODDs, Ticket Agent.
one vslands Columbus, Cincinnati ana
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16
Tried to Re Funuy.

"Say,n said a humorously inclined indi-
tidual on the rear platform Of crowded
Woodward avenue car to the person standing
next to him the other day, '.the conductors
up there in the front of the car, now I'll just
Full the fare register on him for fun Don't
give me away" and he pulled the strap hall
dozen times.
''That'li cost you thirty cents, my friend, y
said his Deighbor.
why, thought you wasn't going to tell
the conductor on mef
II amt; I'm the conductor myself It'll
only be a quarter if you buy the six tickets. u
Detroit Free Press
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16
Would Improve with Time.

An agent for the sale OF some household
article attempted to mount the steps of q
house recently, but dog came around the
corner and took half a yard of cloth from the
back of his coat. The man was sliding out
when the owner Of the house came and asked:
did doze dog bide you1' HE didn't bite
me, but he ruined my coat" was the reply.
My goot friend, excuse doze dog if he didn't
bide you. He ish young dog now, but by
und by he shall take holt of some agents und
eat der pones ride oud of dem He bides q
coat now, but he shall soon do peter. New
York Commercial Advertiser
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16
ON LIFE's THRESHOLD.
A Little Girl Who Invented . Hen Prob
lam, of Har nxun

A Little 0iri Who Invented Hen Prob
lem of Her Own.
The husband Of this lady in Oakland has Q
theory. l never knew a husband theorizs on
the subject. He was always quite sure.
Vow" he said to his wife one day, ~ don't
like your appearing ignorant before the
child never do. 1t is not well not to have
al answer to anything the child asks. II
you say 4 don't know you simply kill your
childs faith in you. She'll lose her respect
for you right away. Itdoes not matter what
she asks, you must always have an answer,
and positive answer, for her," And he
went downtown and bought her one of those
box alphabets that lie all over the floor and
fall under the sofa and get into the crack of
the door and finally render it unsafe to walk
about anywhere in the house. She sat down
and selected the word ''hen" to illustrate the
meaning and value of the alphabet She
looked at the three letters lying on the car
pet, and to the guileless father thus she
spoke:
Papa, which did God make first, the hen
or the eggf'-San Francisco Chronicle
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16

| nell university Will not deal 50 much with
actual newspaper experience as it will with
construction and style in writing. This is
certainly good move. for we must admit
that we can improve very greatly our style
and the purity Of our English. For instance,
l select an exchange at random, and on the
telegraphic page find the details of hor-
rible crime 1t seems that an old lady, who
lived by herself almost, and who had amassed
between SIG and SIT, was awakened by an
assassin, dragged from her bed and cruelty
murdered. The large telegraph line reads:
''Drug from her bed and murderedr This
is incorrect in orthography, syutax and
prosody, bad in form and inelegant in style
Carefully parsing the word drug as it ap-
pears here, find that it does not agree with
anything in number, gender or person. do
not like to criticise the style of others when
l know that my own is so faulty, but | am
sure that the word drug should not be used
in this way.
ford, Conn, If am not mistaken, suggested
a school of journalism at least twelve years
ago, but it did not meet with immediate and
practical Endorsement Now Cornell comes
forward and seems TO be in earnest, and am
glad of it. The letters received from day to
day by editors, and written to them by men
engaged in other pursuits, practically admit
and prove that there is not now in existence
an editor who knows enough to carry liver to
bear.
That is the reason why every means should
be used to pull this profession out of the
mire of dense ignorance and place it upon
the high, dry soil which leads 10 genius and
consanguinity.
The above paragraph | quote from a
treatise on Journalism which wrote Just be-
fore | knew anything about it.
The life Of the journalist is hard one,
and, although it is not so trying as the life of
the newspaper man. it is full of trials and
perplexities. II newspaper men and journal
lists did not stand by each other | do not
know what joy they would have. Kindness
for each other, gentieness and generosity
even in their rivalry, characterize the con
duct of large number of them
There are many reasons why the establish
ment Of department Of journalism at Cor
nell will be good move, and believe that
while it will not take the place of actual ex
perience, it will serve To shorten the appren
iiceship Of a young newspaper man and the
fatigue Of starting the amateur in journal
ism will be divided between the managing
editor and the tutor. 1t will also give the
aspiring sons of wealthy parents chance to
toy with journalism without interfering with
those who are actually engaged in it.-Bin
Nye in New York World
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16

A little girl who had spent the FIVE years
OF her life in very retired place in the
country had never happened to see colored
person She loved to be out of doors; in
deed, spent the most Of her time playing in
the yard, but she never would keep hat or
bonnet on her head, and her mother often
told her that she would grow black with sun
burn A cousin who visited them about that
time had some photographs with her, and
among them was one of little colored child.
Oracle, looking them over, paused at this
one, was silent for little and then softly
whispered to herself: $50 that is what comes
of playing bareheaded out in the sun. DE
troit Free Press
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16

Mr.. and Mrs. Princely were entertaining
the minister, and had urged him to stay all
night
do stay, Mr.. Sheepfold." said Mrs.
Princely: "Adolphus won't be home, and you
can have his room just as well as not"
Then the small boy, who had been silent as
long as he could stand it, burst forth:
"You can sleep in Dolph's bed, but you
can't use 'Dolph's tooth brush Dolph won't
let ennybody use his tooth brush 'cept him
self Detroit Free Press
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16
A Noble Ambition.

Jirnson-My ambition in life, weatherby,
is to be out of debt. | look forward to the
time when can proudly beat my breast and
say aloud: John Ezekiel Jimson owes no
man a nickel"
Weatherby quilting his cigar,-That's a
noble ambition, old man. and worthy of all
respect
''Yes, indeed, and propose to-. Oh, by
the way, Weatherby, | wish you would let
me have 81 until day after tomorrow at
half past 12n-Texas Siftings.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16
Time for n Change.

"How long have you been in business as
barberr
Nearly twenty years, sir. commenced
when was IA years old ! have son who
will succeed me sooner or later"
II am glad to hear it And when he opens
business buy him new razor. The one you
are shaving me with has been injured by its
twenty years of service. Lincoln Journal
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16

Young Lady-Wn you please give me a
small bottle of eyetheri
Omaha Drug Clerk-Of what, missi
'Of eyether, please"
"Eyetherf eyetheri / do not think we
have it in the store.n
''Oh, yes; I'm sure you have. It is some
times called ether by ignorant people. ~
Omaha Herald
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16

mand- n was good shot. AMI had not the
governor diytned her purpose in time it
would have undoubtedly hit the mark
Il think the court now understands the
meaning of the word shy" said the judge
and the gisf was allowed to finish her testi
mony without further interruptiou.-Ns
York Press
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16
Applied Theology.

81 have been run over many and many a
time by wagons, buggies, horses and car
riages," said a little son of the Rev. 7. c.
Boykin, looking from the window at pass
ing carriage behind which streamed lot of
dust. "What do you meanP asked the
father. why, didn't you say was made
out of dustf-Atlanta Journal.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16

swell, Bobbie, did you enjoy your visit to
the museumF'
YES, mamma"
"Do you remember any Of the nice things
you sawf'
''Oh, yes, remember lots Of them"
"And can you tell me what they were
calledF'
"Yes; most of them were called Hands
of.'n-Detroit Free Press.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16

swell, Mr.. Quimby, bow do you like the
mucilags have inventedF'
at is excellent"
alt has great adhesive properties, chr /.
II don't know about that
why, how did you use itf'
"As a substitute for hair oil ln-Lincoln
Journal
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16
Robert A,k, Anotbrr On..,,o,-

"Who is that lady dressed in black,
mammar asked Bobby, as he sat with his
mother on a ferryboat
THAT is Sister Of Charity, my boy re-
piled his mother
Bobby pondered deeply for a moment, and
then he said:
(which is she, mamma, Faith or HopeP-
Harper's Bazaar
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16
As 1t Fell Upon q Day.

First Lincoln Man-W Where did you get
that suit you wearf 1t fits sublimely.
~ bought stick of chewing gum and II
was thrown in as a premium And where
did that diamond pin you are wearing come
fromf
at was given to me with plug of chew
ing tobacco. Lincoln Journal
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16

Aunt Dinah treading the paper,-I sees,
Rastus, by de papah, dat poultry am quoted
as very quiet
Uncle Rastus-Well, Ise glad oh dat, an
reckon I'd better negotiate fo' some dis eben
in. Dat chicken we had slas' Sunday, ole
CONAN, made noise 'nough ter rouse de hull
neighborhood New York Sun.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16
Terrible Suffering from Skin Diseases,

/ have been a terrible sufferer for years from
diseases of the skin and blood. and have been
obliged to shun public places by reason Of my
dishguring humors. Have had the best Of
physicians and spent hundreds Of dollars.
but got no relief until / used the CUtieura
Remedies. which have cured me, and left my
skin as clear and my blood as pure as child's.
IDA MAY BASS,
Olive Branch y o Misa
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16
SORE FROM KNEE TO ANKLE.
Skin En- irsly GOne-Flesh q Mass OF
Disease-Lrg Diminish. 0ne-third
In Siza-Coi dition HopeIess-Cured
by the Cuieura Reredies.

For three years was almost crippled with
an awful sore leg. from my knee down to my
aa.h aak,e she ns shIn was entreIy gone, ana tns
clans pronounced it incurabIe Ii had dimin-
ished about one-third the size of the other.
and was In hopeless condition. After try
ing all kinds of remedies and spending hun
dreds OF dollars. from which / got no relief
whatever, was persuaded to try your Cuti-
cura Remedies, and the result was as follows
After three days | noticed decided change
for the better. and at the end of two months
was completely cured. My flesh was purified
and the bone (which had been exposed for
over year. got sound. The flesh began to
grow, and today, and for nearly two years
past, my leg Is as we'll as ever it was, sound in
every respect. and not sign of the disease to
be seen. 5. G.. AHERN,
Duhoia dodge cnuntv ia.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16

Pretty Cousin to Young Sissyl-That is q
very intelligent dog you have, Charley.
Young Sissy proudlyl - Yes. indeed,
Maude. Why, couldn't begin to tell you all
that dog knows
Pretty Cousin-No, fancy not, Charley.
New York Sun
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16

The recent development of industrial
and commercial enterprise in Japan has
been very great Since january. 1887.
S31 companies have been started.-New
York Tribune
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16
Racing i'm EuYlan1.

Racing in England is rather a profitable
business for those who are fortunate enough
to win. Two million two hundred and twenty
five thousand dollars are - be expended on
the British turf during the present season in
stases alone : CHICAGO derald
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16

rnn Lilo Misa Gonnona

Nsn-J,o you like Miss Couponf
PhylIs-No, | can't say that do She
puts ca 100 many airs
haH- Airs Well. should say she did.
WY. she just piles cyclones on top OF
fJrnadoes. Philadelphia CALI
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16
Maternal Cares,

Flossie-Mamma, can | give one of my
iolls to Cicely Waffiesf
Enthusiastically not, Flossie, Why dc
you want tor
Flossie-l find that twins are too great q
charge.-New Moon.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16

Freddie van Tone crushing into club bill
lard room completely xhausted,-G-give
me a-glass of sodah, quick. I-have the
most-important news. wan just as hard
as could from the office.
Excited Chorus-What is it, what is it, old
chappiel
Freddie-I have just received word by
cable-from Lunnon-that straw hats viii be
will be-oneeighth of an inch higher this
summer than last.-Boston Beacon.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16
Not on the Man.

gentleman Of this city observed his little
son attentively studying map-of the world.
"What place are you looking for, Willief'
he inquired
The small boy knit his brow and Travelled a
circuitous route with his forefnger before be
answered earnestly:
"Twyin' to find Chriseudom- n-Detroit
Free Press
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16

your husbands businessi
Patients Wife-He is photographer
D.-Has be been working hard of latef
r WI don't know, doctor. He took the
portraits of four babies yesterday.
D.-H'm- Brain fever Boston Courier.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16

Spindel-l lent young Overdue q little
money last night, Jack. Do you know himf
Jack-Do / know himI l wish had as
manv dollars as know him.-The Epoch. j.,
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16

Don't ornament truth. 1t doesn't need.
1t. and. besides, establishment gives 1t.
much the appearance of lie.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16
Constitutional Catarrh.

nLlVc Skin and Scalp preserved and beaul
UhDI fed by CUTICURA MKDIcATED Soar.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16
tAIR 0KLAHOMA'S LAND.
HISTORY OF THE MOVEMENT THAT
WAS iNAuGURATED BY pawn.

Map Showing the Location of the Terri
tory Now Wanted by the Boomcrs-No
Mans Land. of Which so Much Has
Been Said.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16

Sold everywhere, Price. Cuticurs, soc; Soap,
sc; Resolyent. 81. Prepared by the Potter
Drug and Chemical Co., Boston. Mass.
k1-Send for How to Cure skin Diseases.
81 pages, so Illustrations, and 100 testimOnials.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16
From 145 Pounds to I72 Pounds.

have taken several bottles of Cutieura
ResOlyent with all the results / could wish
for. About this time last year. when com
mencing it's use. weighed rs pounds, and
today weigh i72 pounds.
GEO. CAMPBELL. Washington. d. C.
NOTk.-The Cuticura Resolyent is beyond
all doubt the greatest blood purifier ever COM
pounded.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1888-06-16

Cutieura. the great Skin Cure, and Cuticura
Soap, an exquisite Skin Beautider. externally.
and Cuticura Res0lyent. the new Blood Puii-
der, internally, are a positive cure for every
form of Skin and Blood Disease. from Pimples
to Scrofuls