The Saline County journal. [volume] (Salina, Kan.) 1871-1893, 1888-06-07
A WEDDING GARMENT.
The Use I Made of a Wrstched and
Deceptive Watch Pocket


are Of a comparative nature-I being
one object Of comparison. and the LAM
posts by which l am passing. IN,
other.
II | 60 ten blocks without hearing
any thing said about bean poles" and
Giving skeletons" am glad. Being
just six feet three in height does moi
add particularly to the beauty Of my
appearance.
Let no one suppose because I write
so calmly Of my leanness that am
not sensitive regarding it. lam.
The day I overheard a young lady
say at picnic that looked like a sec
ton Of a railroad bridge was the sad
dest day Of my life.
To overcome rs far as possible the
groteSque appearance caused bv nv
excessive lack Of flesh | ALWAYS wear
"heavy-weight' goods. and no tailor
ever secures my patronage who does
not thoroughly understand the art Of
padding"
confess to a certain degree Of van
ity regarding my personal appearance,
and when | made the blissful discovery
that ! was about to be married gave
no little thought to the appearance !
should present on an occasion when.
more than st any other time in my life.
so many persons would be- gazing upon
me.
read books on etiquette to know il.
under any circumstances, a man might
properly be married with his overcoat
and two suits Of clothes on. but, 10 nv
distress, found that this was allowable
only in cases Of elopement. and rs NV
wife had set her heart on n church
wedding with everybody IN full dress.
l gradually forced myself into the con-
viction that the overcoat and one suit
Of clothes would have to be discarded.
A man Of my "build" looks posi-
lively and irredeemably awful In the
conventional, clinging. black. light
weight garments Of which most we'd
ding suits are made. When see such
a man thus arrayed / am convinced
that there is really something in the
Darwinian theory.
But, as II had 10 be 50. I was married
in the garments best calculated TO make
my attenuation glaringly apparent
My friends were kind. however, and
said nothing to cast n cloud on nv
happiness-all but NV sister Nell. She
owed me n grudge dating back TO the
days Of our childhood. and, rs she put
her arms around my neck and kissed
me. she whispered in my ear:
'Oh, Tom. you look awfully shoe
stringy in that suit"
A separation Of four years made II
possible for me to speak to Nell when
we met again. but sometimes fear
that we can never be the dear friends
we once were.
After our marriage my wife and
went Immediately for a distant West
ern city. in which we made our home.
l was too poor to throw or give
away my detested wedding garments.
but soon reduced them to a state of
great shabbiness by wearing them I'M
der my Overcoat when about my work
as reporter on a daily paper. We
were not society people. and I had no
idea that ! would ever again need a
suit Of that kind. Ono day when went
home to dinner my wife said:
''See here. Tom. its a shame for you
TO be wearing that handsome seventy
five dollar suit out in that way. Don't
you suppose you could sell it and get
some more suitable and cheaper gar /
ments for everyday wear?"
/ here take occasion 10 say that my
wife is a very economical as well as a
practical and sensible woman. Some |
times think she knows more than ! !
know.
] told her that I would think about |
The suggestion. A wise man will never
seem 90 come into immediate accord |
with the opinions Of his wife. Il is al |
ways best to hang back and pretend |
that you have little sense Of your own,
even though you know you have not.
At twelve o'clock that night. a. / was |
closing my desk at the office prepare
DRY to going home. the managing |
'ditor Of my paper said:
''See. here. Dixon; that report you |
wrote Of the trouble up At the Christa-
,el mine was uncommOnly well done.
Ind will be talked about tomorrow. I
.hink can get your salary raised on
he strength Of IT, In the meantime.
iere'sa little Of something 70 snowy
hat the paper appreciates good work. "
As he spoke he handed me a crisp.
lew fifiy dollar bill. lie was rich; the
PAPER was making a great deal Of
money. and felt that I was not being
,aid as much n ] earned. so took the
money without any hesitation. Fifty
lollar bills were very scarce at our
iOuse, and. as hurried home through
he dark streets. faneied 10 myself my
wife pride and pleasure when ! should
ell her Of my good fortune on the NOR
oW.
For perfect security I folded and re-
olded the bill until il was about an
nch square. and tucked it down into
he wateh-pOoket a my pantaloons. a
,ocket had never use.l before and one
hat few men clothed in their right
minds ever use at all.
Before morning / was awakened by
great fire in a distant part Of the
ity. and hastily DOMINIC an old suii
hat 1 kept for just such occasions. ] 3
hurried ont 10 get a good report Of the
Ire. which happened TO be Of unusual
We got out an ''extra''
nd it was late in the afternoon when /
cached home again As entered the
Iouse my wife held up q ten and a i've
ollar bill and said triumphanily:
There, my dear. you have that
much to pay on a suit that viii do you
ONE good. You don't know what q
manager you've married. While you
rere away to-day sponged. brushed
nd gasolined your wedding suit until
looked almost as good As new and