The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-12-21
GREAT FAMILY QUARREL.
Mr.. and Mrs. Bowser Disagree About
the Art of Cooking.
From the Detroit Free Press

MT. DOWStT CAME nome me OLner AFTER
noon just in time to meet the cook going
away with her bundle. aud he rushed into
the house TO inquire:
81 suppose you have gone and done it
again!'
abused and maltreated the girl until her
sense of justice has compelled her to leave"
Il hadn't anything to do with her leav-
ing
as passed her just now"
Did she! Poor thingl She got a letter
this morning from her aunt, telling her that
she had been left $1,000 in cash, and advis-
ing her TO come home and marry man
who owns three farms. She must feel very
sorrowful!"
"Humph And you didn't put too much
work on herr"
"No."
Nor make her feel her positionr'
mo Her position was in the parlor
about half the time"
"Well, it seems very queer to me that so
many of our girls leave Every thing will
be upset now for week, | suppose"
"Oh, no! You can cook, you know, and
you are such sympathetic soul that you
ought to be willing to go into the kitchen
for day or two. l shall depend on you,
Mr.. Bowser."
''Oh, you wllla Not satisfied with driving
dozen poor souls to destruction, you want
rub at mel | wouldn't have your spirit
for all the money in the world"
He went away with that, but he was
home an hour earlier than usual, and when
inquired the cause he said:
"What forl Why, the child and have
got to have something to eat haven't we,
and who's to cook it if don't take holda"
Il can cook"
Mrs Bow ser, I've long felt it my duty
to give you few lessons in the culinary
art. l have held off, hoping your pride
would force you to take hold, but the limit
has been reached. The time has come when
must sacrifice my business to enter the
kitchen and save my child from the pangs
of hunger"
''Please don't"
But will! I'm driven to it. I've got
wife who can't cook the northwest end of a
last years turnip and who can't keep a cook
too Iopg-much too long, Mrs. Bowser
nrret sacrifice my dignity to preserve my
child"
"Shan't help you get suppers"
'.Not help. You'd only be in the way.
Just sit down in the rocker, put your feet on
the lounge and think what mean things
you are going to say to the next girl to drive
her away. When supper is ready will call
your royal highness.n
He disappe red with that.
When he reached the kitchen he took off
his cuffs and coat, pushed mp his sleeves,
and kindled fire. His confidence began to
desert him at this point, and he seemed to
be studying deeply as he filed the tea kettle
even full and set it to boil. | had some
fresh beefsteak in the ice box and he got it
out, scratched his head in thoughtful way,
and laid it Oh the kitchen table. Then be
went down the cellar after the Ratchet,
wiped the head of it on his right leg, and
pounded away until good share of the
steak had gone into the board
Mr. Bowser's next move was to hunt be-
hind the pantry door for a spider which he
had never used. He carried it to the kitchen
towel, gave it a wipe. and then placed it on
the stove. He had heard that grease was
necessary, and he put in some butter,
dropped in his steak and soon had it sizzling.
Then he started in for the biscuit. He got
down the dishpan, filled it almost full, and
then reflected for a moment. | took ad-
vantage of the occasion to open the door
and remark:
''Mr. Bowser, you needn't figure on an
elaborate supper, under the circumstances
Just make us cup of tea and we'll get
along"
Mrs Bowser, you ought to know by this
time that there is no halfway work with
lne,n he replied, with great frigidity. "You
can afford to neglect the comfort of this
fao1i'r but cannot. Please return to your
novel"
l,en he went ahead just as any other
husband would.
He had heard about soda and shortening
in biscuit, and he mixed the floor with cold
water, put in pepper and salt, slashed off
half a pound of butter and stirred it in, and
then remembered the baking powder.
There was nearly quarter of a pound in
the box, and the whole of 1t went in.
How Mr.. Bowser managed to get grease
spot between his shoulder-blades -four on
his hair, and baking powder in his hind
pocket, did not know, but probably it was
while he was rolling that mass out. He
didn't trifie with the mixing board, but
used the spot where he had pounded the
beef heard the mass of dough fall to the
floor three different times with a dull thud,
but he wasn't bit discouraged. He got it
rolled out at last. cut some biscuits with a
teacup, and presently the oven door shut
on the tins. He had just forty biscuit.
By this time the steak had burned black
on both sides, and he set it down behind
the stove and prepared the tea. To two
quarts of water he used one teaspoonful.
Ten minutes later he summoned me to the
banquet. He had the tablecloth on criss-
cross, the butter on a pie plate the cake in
the cheese dish, and his beefsteak was
tin.
Anything wrongw he asked, as 1 sat
down.
"Oh, no. You have done splendidly."
81 am aware of it. The table mas never
looked so homelike before"
His biscuits were raw in the middle, while
top and bottom were SO wonderfully and
fearfully made that had to laugh.
THE biscuit. you can't beat 'em. Wait
till you taste onel"
Ididn't taste, but he did. was watching
him, and look of horror came over his
face at the first mouthful. He wouldn't
give in, however, but crowded a whole bis
cult down and pretended to enjoy 1t.
II wouldn't eat any of that steak, Mr..
Bowser," said, as he eyed IL suspiciously.
Wouldn't you9 Perhaps you want 1t all
yourself"
II don't think it is properly cooked"
"Wel, l dol If that isn't nice steak
then we never had one in this house."
lie ate at least a quarter of pound,
though every morsel choked him. | offered
to wash up the dishes, but he put me out of
the kitchen and went ahead. He washed
every thing together in a -four pan, wiped
them on whatever he could find loose, aud it
was a week before we got the pantry in
order again.
That night, after Dragging of what a
bre akfast he was going to get, Mr. Bowser
wa taken with chills and collie, and when
the doctor came and showed him the beef
and the biscuit, he said
e L LII L. -k.x a.l.