Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1888-11-16
GRAMMAR's BROKEN LAWS.
Foibles of Speech in Refined Social Cir
c1es-A Brief List

cles-A Brfef List.
The strangest of all the curious cir
cumstances attendant upon the habitual
disregard of grammatical laws is the I'M
consciousness of the offender. Our self
made man and the wife he has tinkered
into "a match article" court, as orna-
ments to their drawing room, eminent
scholars and literary lights, domestic and
foreign; admire intensely in them the
facile propriety of expression in which
they are themselves deficient, and never
suspect the effect of the contrast they
offer. Does the inability to discern the
difference lie in the ear or the intellect?
I have called this insensibility the most
singular of the paradoxes connected with
our subject May I retract the state
ment and substitute the anomaly Of
people, born well and bred well, educated
according to the most approved methods,
and moving in refined social circles,
whose foibles Of speech approach in num-
Der and rival in Nervousness the direct
lingual faults of illiteracy2
People who drop the final from par
ticiples, and other words ending in ''ing,"
with the constancy the cockney exhibits
in misplacing h.
People who say che don't like it,"
without suspicion that the conjoined
abbreviation stands for she do not
like it"
People who inquire "you readyY" 'you
goingr" and sometimes "where you
been2"
People who never by any chance say
"between you and me-" but with the
steadfastness of holy purpose, "between
you and H.
People who pride themselves upon the
elegant accuracy of every sentence
formed by their lips, and tell you in cul-
tivated euphoniousness of accent, II have
travelled some i'm England, Russia, Tur-
key, or Australia, and Il have not
coughed any all night
Peopls who have been on intimate
terms with Lindley Murray and his col
leagues for forty years, and not learned
that amt is not tolerated by any of them,
being an un-parsable word.
People who consider the fact that they
were born south of Mason's and Dixson's
line warrant for ignoring the dictum,
'After the words like and unlike, the
proposition to or unto is understood, I"
and cruelty our ears by telling us on all
possible occasions Il feel like l should
do" so-and-so, and "He looked like he
meant it, Who as unsteady and
audaciously say, 81 am heap better" or
"a heap worse"
heard DID. F. F. V. say in a SER
mon, at does seem like the Lord has
some great and gracious purpose to
fulfill in" etc. And a few minutes
thereafter, 81 expect that this is the
proper Interpretation of this passage"
There are people, on the other hand,
who, born and brought up in the shadow
of Yale, roll the phrase: Il want that
you should" like savory and insoluble
morsel under their tongues, and not q
few, who, as Mr.. Howells' Minister Sewell
regrets, will-albeit they are Harvard
graduates-say, to the close of well spent
lives, Il don't know as"
People-this final count is written with
groanings unutterable who, with the
best intentions conceivable benevolent
and syntaxicaD. never let slip an oppor-
tunity of using the pronoun ''they" when
the antecedent noun is in the singular
number. IF person thinks they can
do that" IF anybody has lost any
thing, they can apply at the desk" 81
was talking with some one the other day,
and they said, ETC., etc.
None of the phrases cited as foibles OF
speech trench npon the debatable ground
of language. One and all, they arc
glaring defects, flaws in gems which
lessen their value irretrievably. Tie
critical inspector instantly discounts the
intelligence or conscientiousness of him
who tenders them.
That those who are guilty of lapses OF
this sort know better, does not eXculpate
them or relieve the listener who respect:
his noble vernacular too truly to condone
the unseemly familiarities that approx
mate insult. When the delinquents are
those who assume to instruct others, the
foible becomes guilt.
A distinguished author, at reception
given in honor of her visit to a certain
town, pressed the hand of a sister writer
who was introduced to her, with the cor
dial--"You and had ought TO have me-
before"
An eminent lecturer upon scientific
subjects remarked at dinner party
The hall was not sufficiently het to
day"
The principal of collegiate institute
announced during the commencement
exercises that the presentation to himself
of memorial from the pupils was ;
''change i'll the programme made en-
tirely unbehnownest to himself
He was taken by surprise by the ties
timonial, and the luckless phrase ESCAPED
him when off his guard. 1t should hav'
been impossible for him to make use o
it in any circumstances. If he had neve
said it before he would not have said
then. Marion Harland in Once a Week