The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1888-07-26
GRAND SACHEM YERGE7.
How His Good Wife Took All Nonsens.
Out of Him.

How His Good Wife Took All Nonsense
Out of Him.
Mrs. Yerger-'.You have no idea how
much trouble | have with my husband.
[ didn't think it was possible for him to
get any sillier than he was already, but
was mistaken"
Mrs. Peterby - What is he up to
1ow?h
''He is always up to some new fool
ishness. He is just running the lodge
business into the ground. | would like
20 know all that goes on in these lodge
.ooms."
81 would, too. Judge Peterby comes
aome every night at about one o'clock
smelling of whisky and beer, and when
ask him what sort of smell it is, he
has the impudence to say that it is in
;ense which they use in their mystic
ceremonies"
'Tve noticed the same smell about
Colonel Yerger. He, too, said it was
incense, and that the effect it had on
ne proved it was incense, because
became incensed as soon as | smelled
it. We poor women never find out any
lodge secrets, for even if man is ever
80 talkative, when he comes home from
the lodge he is not in q condition to
talk. I don't know what Colonel Yerger
has been doing to deserve it, but they
have made him a Grand Sachem.
"What in the world is that?"
81 don't know. That's some new
order he has joined. He already be-
longs to the Order of Yelled Night
caps, and the Order of Idiotic Red
Mutfs, and three or four more secret
gangs"
'How did you find out that he is
Grand Sachem? Does he talk in his
sleep?"
''No. Day before yesterday was his
birthday. just as we were getting up
'om the supper table there came two
Knocks at the door, and a deep. grave
like voice said: is the Grand Sachem in
his wigwam?' Colonel Yerger opened
the door, and there was Gus De Smith,
Kosciusko Murphy, Nose Schaumberg.
Gilhooly, Hostetter McGinnis, old
Judge Pennpbunker and lot more of
those old reprobates. They came into
the room in Indian file and said: Is
our red sister well?' just think of it.!
"rd have scalped them with a fire
shovel" said Mrs. Peterby.
Then Gilhooly struck an attitude and
said: Most noble Grand Sachem, this
is thy birthday, and thy red brethren,
the noble red braves now present in
this wigwam, in consequence of the
high esteem they have for their noble
brother, and his great services to the
lodge, do hereby present thee, noble
savage, with this gold-headed walking
cane. Lean ON it, most worthy lord of
the forest, on thy stroll in the direction
of the happy hunting grounds behind
the setting SUM- }"
"Do you allow such proceedings in
your house, Mrs. Yerger? Why, |
would have scalded them-1 would
have exterminated them
81 couldn't help it. Colonel Yerger
was very much moved. He said it was
the happiest moment of his life, but
that his heart was too full for utter
ance, and turning to me he had the i'm.
pudence to say, handing me quarter
Here, noble squaw, take this string O
wampum to the corner grocery, and
bring some beer, that | may make
merry with my red brethren of tht
forest. Be seated, braves"
II would have mopped the floor witt
him.
For a whole week, Mrs. Peterby
that wretched man talked dime move
talk to me, until | threatened to invit,
mother to come and stay with us. Tha
took the nonsense out of the Grand Sa
chem"
What silly fools these men are!'
"Well, amt they?"-7e1as .Sittiags