The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1888-02-11
SCINTILATIONS.


A great many people are troubled
with disease of the Ps.-Pacs.
Only little IS" divides the specula-
tor and the pecuIator. -Earth.
A mans life may be like an open
book: but it is bound to be closed
Picayanr.
This is the season when bartenders
mako things hot for their customers
Eoston Courier.
Base ball is rs OIL as the world. as is
proven by the first liue in Genesis; I'm
the big inning" etc.-7esas SUtings.
II man really desires to discover
how popular he is Us speaker let him
charge fifty cents admission. -Bos:oa
Globe.
There Is no better cure for dyspep-
sa than tho knowledge that there is
nothing to eat in the house.
Courier.
Mr.. Nevergo Bore (reaching fora
button-hole) -"Whats going Oh. old
man?" Mr.. Busy Man (dodging)-u
am. "-Burdet!c.
Kilrain and Smith are soon to fight.
Sympathy should DO extended to the
victor. He is the fellow Sullivan in
tends TO lick. Omaha Herald.
"Were there any poets among the
ante-diluv ans?" writer asks There
must have been or there wouldn't have
been any flood. -Bostou Courier
Josef Hoffman may DO a miraculous
pianist for boy ten years old, but he
should 60 to school and learn how to
spell Joseph. -Boston Transcript.
If the price of coal keeps going high
or it will be tue ultra-fashionable thing
for people TO move their coal bins up
into the parlor. Somerui ie Journal.
Kentucky has q rooster with thrce
threats. and every time a Kentuckian
takes his Bourbon he wishes he was
that rooster. - Fort Worth (rex.)
Gazette.
A man who has been hanged can
very properly DO used 10 point an
argument for prohibition. 1t is clear
case Of ~ drop too much. "-Bostoa
Globe.
A man in Manitoba has sent to New
York for copy Of the "Boulanger
March," He says he wants to see If he
can't discourage tho blizzards.-
Erchange.
The brain of an elephant is some-
what larger than that OF II man. but the
trunk of an elephant is considerably
smaller than that of u woman. --LotoelE
Courier.
Men who wait for luck to make
them rich are generally compelled to
leave the settings of their funeral OK
penses to their relatives. -Ba!timore
american.
Gerster has lost hcr voice, sure
enough. but If it is ever found it will
DO easy to identify It. There is no
other of the same pattern. -Pailadet-
pltia Press.
Cr9sus never was calIol upon to act
for season rs financial manager OF q
national opera company. This is why
he is known to history as man of
some means. - chicago Tribune.
Everybody knows what bee line is.
1t runs in a rcle around clover paich-
es and finally makes its way to n
hollow tree in tho swamp. where the
honey is deposited. - PicayGne.
Il shouldn't care to marry Tom-
an who knows more than I do. Sbe
remarked. .'Oh. Mr.. De Sappy." SHE
replied. "Im afraid you are con-
firmed bachelor. "-EDoch.
The Boston Transcript asks: "Have
we Spartacus among usP" No. o
a thousand times no! But the cannb
bal who had eaten his wife said he was
glad te-her!-.f oinmbus Journal.
An old friend to widow in tears
Il presume your husband had made
all preparations 10 face his makerp'
"He had. indeed. He was insured in
in six different companiesp'-Paris
Fargo.
This conundrum comes by private
convey ance from a Rutland County
town: '.what two rivers in New Eng.
land ask and answer n question:
Hoosic and Passumpsic." -Ss Adams
Messenger.
Jay Gould's advice to boys is keep
out OF bad company and 60 TO work
with will" And if you can't keep
out of bad company. my boy, do as Jay
does and wipe out the company.-Bos.
tom Transcript.