The Worthington advance., 1888-02-23
BEHIND THF BUSHES.

a C0nv1v9l young Mans Visit to His
Uncles, Aunts and Cousins in Massachu-
sets.
Exchange.-Uncle Tom Saunders
was a thrifty farmerin in the Connecticut
River Valley, owning a fine "place" in
old Hampshire County, Massachu-
setts. Brother Billy Saunders went to
the Southern States and settled when
ayoung gman, wherehe reared afamily,
and, although there was correspond
ence kept up, no visits passed between
the two families for more than twenty
five years.
A year or two after the Maine law
went into force in Massachusetts,
cousin Joe Saunders, from the South,
handsome, manly young fellow,
"came North to visit his relatives.
He arrived at Uncle Toms house
about nightfall, in haying time, and
was heartily welcomed by uncle, aunt
and cousins. Then after a chat about
the folks, cousin Joe went to sleep in
the "spare bedroom" with feathers
and pillows enough for two, and did
not get up until 9 o'clock the next
morning.
Joe told the story on himself after
ward. When he came down, the first
one to welcome him was aunt Ham
nah, who, after the usual good morn
ing, said:
"Joseph I suppose that your Gus
toms in the South in many ways are
different from ours. Are you in the
h hoo 1f l~1x ~ In
strengthenin' and appetizin' in the
mornin'?"
Joe signified that such was the hab-
it with him sometimes.
"Well, we are all temperance folks
here, but I've got a little bottle of
'spirrits' that DR.. Billlns gave me for
the hypo that I keep in the buttery.
Here it is, Joseph; help yourself"
Joe was nothing 10th, and, thinking
that he probably would not have an
other such an opportunity during his
visit, he took a liberal snifter, and af-
| ter finishing breakfast, which had
been kept for him, finding himself
doubly refreshed, strol}ed out toward
the barn, where Uncle Tom was busy
at work.
"Mornin', Joe," said his uncle,
cheerily; "say, come here" Then he
led Joe into the granary and said in a
confidential kind of way. "You know,
l 'spose, that we're all temperance
iolks, but I've got a little old apple
jack behind that bin there, that I kind
er keep for my roomatiz, away from the
old woman and the boys. 'Spose we
take horn apiece, you and l. It's
pretty good stuff"
Nothing 10th Joeimbibed again, and,
feeling still more exhilarated, started
down into the meadow where the boys
were at work in the bayfield,.
"Good morning, cousin joe" sung
out the oldest, as Joe came along.
"How are you feeling this morning?
Say, Joe, don't you Southern fellers
take little eye-opener occasionally?
You see, this ERE is q temper
ance State, and father and
mother are bright and shinin'
lights. But we boys ain't-that is, we
amt practically. Just yougo to that
corner of the fence, and under Jim's
jacket you'll find a Jug of as good old
Jamaica as you have tasted in a year
I'll 20 with you. Take hold, Joe, it's
out OF sight OF the house.
Joe compiled, and the operation was
repeated once or twice before dinner
time. He managed to get through
with the meal without incurring sus
picion as to his actual condition
thanks to somewhat extensive capac
ity, and stayed a week with the gooc
folks. But he said afterward that hi
never came so near being kept on 8
weeks solid drunk as he did during the
time of his visit to that "temperanct
family"