Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1888-04-15
BURDETTES HUMOR.
HOW He FINDS TEE MEAYEsr Man IN
AMERICA.
Ana Says God Wasted Mud When He Made
Eiu-The Story OF Nebraska Cold
Advice 20 Young Woman.


fFOr the DiepAtcn-CopyfigntcVs iccol
The meanest man in oil this land of
United America went down from Lam
coln. Nebraska, into Kansas the other
6ay. Mind you, be wasn't a Nebraskan
he WAS an interstate immigrant coming
from somewhere east OF the Mississippi.
Az Wvmore there Is merchant who
carries his stock in a basket, and he is
famous all that land over for his pop
corn. He came on the car with his
wares. and this mean man, who was ira
yelling with his wife, little child of per
hans three years. and his father-in-law,
asked the price ofpopcorn. Five cents
package" That was too much. He didn't
want any. After the merchant left the
car the mean man said 81 want some
o. that ere popcorn, but | kin git 1t
chaper'n that" Presently he went out
on the platform and said to the dealer in
the fruit that cheers but not -hic-bri-
ates: "Say, mister. | wan, some OF
that popcorn. but l haint got o'ny three
cents. Now, il you kin lemn nave
paper OF il fur three cents, all right
but KANT give no more fur 1t, because
/ hain't got on'y that much money.
Well. after some dickering the mer-
chant finally let him have paper
of popcorn for three cents, and the
mean man came III the car. sat down
beside his wife and little child, and be-
gan munching his popcorn. Never
crnmb did he offer to anybody. lie was
inst enioying It. lie said 81 had
enough money to buy his whole basket
frl. but kuowed could sit some FUR
less'n five cents. As he munched hls
father in law and wife seemed to under
stand that they were not IN on that treat,
but the child began u reach up It's little
dimpled hands, and in the sweetestcbi!d-
ish accents beg for some popcorn. Save
10 hold the package up out OF the reach
of the pleadisg little hands the
mean man paid not the slightest
attention TO the baby, but kept on
eating Presently the mother spoke to
him. and said the child wanted some Of
the corn. well, replied her husband.
"if the child is any hungriern ! am, an,
wants this popcorn more'n do, he'd
ought TO have it," But he kept
on eating himself, and never grain
did the child get Pretty soon the
little fellow began 10 cry Tor the cofn'
This nav have annoyed the father, be-
cause he soon arose, put the popcorn up
in the rack out of the child's reach, and
went into another car While he was
gone the child continued TO cry and
reach after the banquet, and the mother
took the popcorn down and gave some
10 the little one. While this was going
on the mean man came back Furious ?
You never saw anything like 1t. He
snatched the popcorn a"ay from the
child and poured torrent OF abuse upon
his wife for daring TO touch his popcorn.
Then he put it back into the rack and at
intervals got up and ate some OF 1t until
il was all gone.
Now, in case OF that kind-and the
above is a truthful narrative of an actual
occurrence--is not lynch law lustltiable?
is not that kind of a man more valuable
and useful AS a fertilizer than anything
else d? Isn't he a curse TO society so long
as he lives And might he not prove a
blessing 10 the medical student and bar
rem land when he dies Then why not
kill him and make a blessing of him
The world has DO use for a mean man.
A druukard, q liar, a swearer, thief,
tramp. a swinder, q murderer, may have
good traits and have some sphere of
usefulness in this world. but mean
man, pure and simple-God wasted mud
when He made HIM.