New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-12-16
RAILWAY CHARACTERS.

FspectalIv nm accommod alton train in Pennsylvania
And on a cross road. That was on,the other day
ran out on q side-track about every half hour ana
Mr. westlnghouse's brake would sigh sadly and all
would be still There is something about the low sob OF
the air brake, when the train stops at station where
there IS one house and cellar that IS far from
pleasing. l have often wondered why Mr' WesthS-
house should make his brakes that they always nave
the low, paintive sigh. The rest OF the Tram
doesn't that way; you never hear the cowcatcher
or the sleeping porter breathing hard. But the
patent air brake never seems satisfied with merely
stopping the train It must make fuss about It,
once between. Mlfin Centre and Big bend stations
we stoned and backed up half mile. The conductor
said he was looking for Berkshire City. 1t was down
on the timetable and ne had always stopped there,
but THIS time they didn't anything of IT, lie said
he couldn't think of giving the town the gooy just DC
cause the engineer didn't happen to notice 1t Pretty
soon we found where it had formerly been, but there
was no house IN sight man wearing red shawl
around his neck came along after while, and said that
the last house Of Berkshire City had been moved around
behind the hill about half mile. The conductor
sent the brakeman 10 see If they wanted anything
He said he considered rather trick on the
part Of Berkshire to move of and leave the road
The company couldn't afford TO keep shaking Its tracks
all over Pennsylvania trying 10 catch up with every
little one-hurse place that took notion to abscond
Then the brakeman got back and we started at
little more rapid rate One man in the smoker
thought that the Of speed due to the fact
that the conductor had seen man walking ahead on
the track and trying to catch him and make him
get on and pay his fare There must have been some
such reason for It suppose.
TIE ABLE NAN.
subsequently the train drew up deliberately al
Allegheny Springs and after Mr.. Westinghouse
asthmac brake caught its breath the voice OF the
Tall Man addressing the Short Man, as they faced
,Iaa and
al tell you he's smart said the Tall Man.
eyes" assented the Short Man
"Well, / tell you he's more'n that, he's whackfn'
SMART went or the Tall Man. coming down heavily
on tho "whaclin" he's smart anyhow you're
a-mind TO tehe him.
eyes that's uyht," said the Short Man.
al tell you lie is one of tho smartest men in
America continued the Tall Man. growing moro
enthusiastic zone OF the smartcst men in America
That amt putin IT none too strong" replied the
Short Man also beginning TO warm up. He's one OF
the smartest ever knowed anything bout, that's
a fact7
The passengers were becoming Interested We
wondered which Of the country's distinguished men was
under discussion. A drummer for Worthst. dry
goods house, who Republican. offered to bet 80
with his seat mate Mugwump travelling for Maiden
ewelry house. that they talking about James
G. Blaine.
"That's WHAT answered the Tall MAJ "You
he's got the head him. and then he's 20. the gup-
an-git too. There amt doubt bout him bein'
right smart man.
II wished smart said the Short Man.
goomingy.
"I'm gon' 10 hire him to work for me after the
hollcriays, when we git putrin' mp ice" volun-
teered the Tall Man. Where do you think he would
do the best, on the pond or in tho ice house9'
Oh, put him in the icehousc, every time,'
piled the Short Man. " BIZ would do well the
pond, Of course, cause a man smart as he is
is all right anywhere but he'd do better in the house.
He ies' yank the stunn' out o. the big blocks.
know that from the way l seen him handle the
hogs when JEFF shocnfelt butcherei'
Then the travelling man from the Worth-st. firm
put his head out of the window and let il bump
along on the grand Allegheny SCENERY the train
moved of
THE STORY OF THE MAN WITH THE PERMANENT
POSITION.
The car was quite full. and sat down in a seat
with rather intelligcnt-looking man who had
newspaper in his lap. He pleasant and re-
marked that {" It Looked like snow which
was a fact. Then he abused the railroad company
for not providing better cars and making better me
and very friendly. 1t IS always
great pleasure to meet man on the train who Will
abuse the company with you and act as If he cared
to make II pleasant for his fellow. travellers We
and then he said he going to Allegheny. He
was going TO settle down there, he said and stop
roaming around He'd travelled a good deal in his
time but he'd concluded that It didn't pay, and
hereafter Allegheny his home. He'd struck
something there that he thought was sure TO be
steady thing for several years at least and he didn't
see why he might not as well stay right there In
fact, he'd firmly made up his mind TO #, and no
consideration would induce him TO move. He said
n happened In Allegheny to hunt him mp, and
| promised do He would be glad TO me,
lie explained, any day. I wasn't going TO be out
DONE so ! told him II he in New-York at any
time to come In and sec NE. He looked at the
watercooler vaguely, and said he probably wouldn't
be that way much as his duties in Allegheny would
keep him pretty closely confined We chstted
time very pleasantly and found fault with the COM
pany some more, when he asked mo cheerfuly II
wouldn't please take OF his hat and place it in
the rack above as it getting rather warm in
the
looked at him as inquirngly as knew how,
but not learning anything that way. l asked him
gently why he didn't take OF his own hat He
wrgged his arms around a little and the newspaper
slipped off his lap, and l saw he was wearing
pair Of adjustable steel handouts. lie also had
shackes on his ankles a man in the seat behind
rose and took OF my companions hat and put II
in the rack, explaining as he did so that he was
the county sheriff, and that he taking my friend
pentcntiary for pounding his brother the head
with a brick. l then went back and sat with a fat
woman who was carrying basket of eggs in her
lap
THE CONSERVATIVE MAN
The train went to the sde-track at Iron Valley
to let a hand-car which had caught up so past and
the loud voice Of the Thin-Faced Man was heard
addressing Itself 10 the WeakEyed Man.
you can bet on thing said the Thin-Faced
Man. and that IS that this stcalln' milk bottles
has got to stop
us mnkmen lose good bit that way that's sure,'
said the Weak Eyed Man
Yes, and It's got TO be stopped said the Thin
Faced man, hercely. was telling Jack Fcrdenbaugh
of my plan the other day. Says /: 'Zack, what We
want to do Is to cit law passed by :he legislator
gvn' ey'ry mIlkman the right 10 go TO ev'ry grocery
store market in Philadelphia and search for his
bottles and II he finds any of hsen to take 'em. We
-I-Ls n