Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1888-10-07
CANADA CAN RETALIATE.

Mrs. stiggins Shows Her Liegs Lord Whist
Can b Done.
Ez,s SJlisgs.
Stigyins ut the breakfast table had bsen
reading aloud eome Of the particulars Of
the recent races, in which he took . deep
interest Immediately aftr his eye fell
upon another newsiten "Aha. +" be said,
Congress passed the Retaliation BIZ"
"Did you have any money On CougrekF'
asked Mira Stiggins, timidly.
"Monty?"
''Or did ron bet en- Retaliation Billf"
"what do you mean By talking about
betting, Martha?"
'You are always buying pools on the
races, StigyinP, Jon know, though you
never win anything, and il Congress passed
Retaliation Bill was in hopes that Jon
hadn't bet your money on Bill, that's Ill. "
''That's all, il itf Well, that's enough.
You don't know what Jon are talking
about Congress isn't . horse, though Il
makes big jacksa Of itself occasionally,
as the country knows. am alluding
now to the Congress of the United STATE.
It has p,ssed the Retaliation bill against
Canada"
"Oh, that's it" said Mira Stifgins,
greatly relieved to find that her husband
hadn't been losing moro money on horse
rate. "But what has Canada done that
she should be retsliatsd sg,instF"
"What has she douef Don't you know
that Canada won't allow our fishermen to
land on her soil for the purpose Of digging
worms for bait? Are yen aware that On
American fisherman can't 90 ashore TO NIL
his canteen without special permit from
the Governor General of Canadsp Don't
YOU unconventional il, Mrs. Shggins,
don't you know any thinge Say"
''But isn't there enough fishing without
going to Canada for itP" continued Mr..
Stiggins. "You know yourself, that when
yon bought fishing outfit and gave ont
that you were going TO the AdiIoadack's
you only got as far az Yonkers, and the
fab You brought home you bought In
Washington Market"
"Thats got nothing to do with the case
at ALL" reared Stiggins, getting very red
in the face. Canada ainterferes with our
fishermen off the coaet Orwell, Oh the
coast, and the President and Congress say
they must stop it or we shall retaliate."
''How retaliate?'
1--WE won't carry any Of THAR freight on
our railroads, for one thing"
won't that reduce the receipts Of the
railroads."
tS'posen it does. Railroads are rich and
thew can stand il. We must teach Cana
da . lesson, and show Johnny Bull that
We can both fish and cut bait"
Msbbe Canada will retaliate back, |"
said Mrs. stiggins, after nflacting awhile
profoundly.
"Iu whist way?"
''Shs owns half of Niagara Falls, don't
sheP"
"what of that9"
'she might fence In her side OF the
FalIs."
II didn't think Of that said stiggins,
sarcastic ,lly "And Canada might putup
screen so that we couldn't see this Aurora
Boreslis without paying an admission
fee."
YES" continued Mrs. Stiggins, limo
Gently. feeling that she had struck the
right lead, land keep our arctic explorers
from going to the North Pole"
"And ship back all our boodle alder
men, swipdling bank officers and oefault-
ers generally" added stiggins. starting
for his offic..
Add Mrs S.iggins went about her
household affairs, satisfied that che had
given her husband some new ideas On re-
taliation.