New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-09-12

man in Finland recently left all his money to t,s
devil He said 1t would go to that parsonage event,v
alv. no matter to whom he left 1t, and he might =.
well keep It in the family from the start That MAJ
would have made fortune the author OF pcssimistis
novels
Freeman-Don't you think this doctrine Of infant
somrs csowlyl~Weli. don't know. used TO thinh
that way but since the icwler family and their new
baby moved next door 10 me, am KIM Oh "avernz.
kind Of wavcrlng.-tIowen Cltlzeh'
1t Will be recorded Of the President that no went
down gracefully, remarkng SCISSORS
The report that st. John, the Prohibtonist sfvo-
cate, had been on a spree originated In his playing
game Of tenpns at Put-in-Bay and shouting at To-
tcrvals " Set Fem up agin :"-(Texas slfings
Tho English sparrow is vigorously "cnssed' Wills
It is alive, and sold reed-bIrd when dead
pastor some time since sought financial help fol
an Important charity. Among those whom no asked
10 give something was lady who, unfortunately, bore
vInegary face. she declined TO give money, bat
promised to "lend her cOuntenance' TO the cause
lie retired in dismay.-(Chrstian Inquirer.
He-My darling, you must be mine ycsrn for you
every day
sbc-That's all right; but what want to knoy
IS will you earn for every day after we are mae
riedl >.
On tho PIayground.-First Small Damsel-I guess ny
pa IS the smartest. He f. an editor. ~
Second small Damsel-ThatS n0ihln. Guess
heard nv pa say he was goin 10 get rich before the
races were over cause he was smart bookmaker
There, now !-(Pttsburg Bulletin.
aThc President IS loaded for bar saw his obsequou
followers. Maybe 50 but that won't help him much
when he meets with the great Republican cyclone %
election day.
@Tommy.p said tho managing editor OF the Demo
cratic Illustrated weekly the office boy, go down
TO the office of Mr. Krayon and see u ne has finished
his cartoon Free Whskey, showing mat the 10
publlcans are the real rum party
{" Just came from his Office said Tommy.
"Well. did You bring the design win you e
"No: It amt done. Krayon's been drunk Tor w
DAYS. and he was a-cheern' for Cleveland and Thur
man D-(NoTisown Herald.
A religious paper in the West refers to the faithful
and energetic pastoratIon, Of a certain clergyman.
Pastoraonn is barbarous OF course but no more 20
than similar words which are creeping into use
The delicate duty Of deciding whether or not ths
Mormon bible is authentic has devolved UPON the
Customs department II really Bible the duty 10
be S Levied upon er bod II' y Res the Of
per cent. The Department has levied me hlgher duy,
thus practically determining that the work Is no RIVE
Nail OD' 'H' p''"'''''" ''
Chicago publication accuses the Republican party
OF trucking to decency.' No has ever accused
the Democratic party Of such crime.
Jangs-Heo, old man! Back from the mountains
Bangs-Yes! Back again;
Jangs-What do you think Of the mountains as
Bangs-WciI, think IT'S cheaper 10 stay at homo
and hire a doctor. Health comes darned high up
there.-(LOwell Citizen.
"What shall call the farce which Keey. ihs
motor crank, IS playngl' asks an anxious corre
spondent. "The Dark Secret has been suggested az
a good name but 4" Cheek wouldn't be half bad.
President Cleveland has placated the spoilsmen q
his party by judcious distribution Of offices among
them. He has their support The President has Dis
appointed the Mugwumps by yielding to the threats
and Establishments CT the sposnen. still. he has
their support also. Good Cleveland Mugwumps. you
make us smile.-(Chcago News.
During the past year it has been noted that great
many people have jumped their board bills. The
hotelkeepers don't like this way OF observing lesn
year.
A scriptural question In Rapid City, Dakota
recently requiring Bible TO decide, and a thorough
search of public and private houses failed to reveal
copy II IS rather singular thar It didn't occur 10 ono
OF the parties TO look I'm an ed tors office. Or arc
there papers printed in Rapid Clty!-(Norrtstown