Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-10-27
LEMON SELTZER.

wash pale-lnS renee - 4HercHdnt
Tdrelcr.
THERE is something to crow over
when both wings of party flap at the
same time-Nec orleans Picdy,uue.
"ALL dogs must have their daze,"
growled policeman as he knocked a cur
silly with his club. -Ne,C York Morn
ing Journal.
A BALD-HEADED scientist says that
flies will not light on damp spot"
He wants to go and soak his head right
away.-I0HkerS Stdte man.
Curious, amt it? Instead Of the
vinegar being the offspring of the
mother, the mother is the offspring of
the vinegar. -HOstOn Courier.
GAN, 1 see you have TIE stamp of q
gentleman" sarcastically remarked
young lady to clumsy fellow who
tfod on Der pet corn. Hotel Mail.
ARDENT but aged wooer-Darling,
| adore you. Can you return my love?
Loved one Certainly, with pleasure; l
have no use for it.-1OWn Topics.
An exchange speaks Of "aman intox-
/ icatcd with wooden leg" -Prohibi-
tionists must put woo len legs on their
| list il TIM. 10 trus.-Terds SitinJ$.
TAILOR Want d "chccls" s1it, Mr.
| Virgins? Virgins l don't care;
plain cloth will do it is something that
will he "roted" during the season. Tai
| lor-Tm sorry can't let a note run so
long as that.-Judge.
MISS Dh SMITH-What made You and
Augustus Popiniay look 80 sheepish
and glum this afternoon when ] called?
Had you had falling ont? Miss
| Travis Yes; out OF the hammock
Huntington Free Press.
LIGiifs Rep Man - Look here,
sir, your dog took big pie"e out of my
! leg: Farmer-It was here playful
freak. t.iehtHing-Rod Man-Oh, it
was, ell? Then dch't wasn't to lie around
when he means business.
They are discussing possible Match.
He-Well, you see, Jack is but twenty,
md hesitates putting the important
ole stion. She-How musical. He
Musical? She-Yes. refrain in A
minor Pttsbuyg Bulletin.
to1tARs and cuffs for women are now
made of steel. Cuffs of steel have al
WAYS been more or less used, but, as
they are generally applied by police
men, they have never attained a high
degree Of popularity. -Boston Post
BLoBsoN-Doctor, I'd like to have
YOU prescribe for my wife. Doctor
What's The matter with your wife?
! Blabson-Ins )mnia. Doctor - Cant
she sleep? Blobson-Yes she can, but
she won't. Harrington Free Press.
~ TRIBE in the palm region of the
Amazon cfadles the young in palm
leaves" In this country palm also
Q ters largely in the work of bringing
mp the young, lut it is used more in
thrashihg than cradling. -N0rristolcn
Herald.
Mrs. FoGd--But David, while you
have told about the disgraceful manner
in which the rest of the party behaved,
how intoxicated they were and how
noisy, you don't say word about your
self Fogg-My dear, I'm no cgotist.-
Boston Transcript
SHE was decorating her room with
pictures, and she pcrched her hus-
bands picture on the topmost nail.
Then she Sat down to admire her
work, and remarked. quietly: Now
every thing is lovely, and the goose
hangs high. "-OtdgO Witness.
ATthe seaside. Casual a"luaintairccs
enter into conversation. What is your
business, if may sck ?" Il am a mags-
zine editor" "That is an occupation,
which must have many changing fea-
lures. What par of it do you like best?"
(Wearily) - Getting away-BuTltnJ'
ton FREE Press.
Mn. HACKLEY-Ah, Miss Doubleday,
absorbed In thought? Were you think
ing of the beauties Of the intellect, OF
contemplating the wonders of nature?
Miss Stokes Contemplating the won
ders Of nature, Mr.. Hackley. was
trying to determine what made the curl
In the tail of puppy. -Ttme.
DAucHrER--Papa, dear, Mr.. Samp-
son is coming tonight, and wish when
You go to bed that You would close the
transom over your door. Father (hum-
blv}-=Do / snore so loud as all that !?
"Yes, papa; and l don't want Mr..
Sampson to think that that sort of
thing runs in the family. "-Teras SVt-
HDS.
HAPPY BAGGAGE-SMASHE
The Trunks are coming up in piles
On platforms do Ike md decks;
The ba gage sma iher slIlirks and smiles
As many enc he wrecks
With mir b.
SrInc day he'll strike trunk that's full
| OF deadly dynamite,
AMI then no bag gage he will pull
TO pieces in his flight
From Garth.
--Hotel Mail.
"YoU say you heard both shots fired ?"
asked lawyer, closs-examining a
colored wine IS in murder case. "Yes,
sab, heard bofa shots. Dey was fired
simultaneous. But you said on the
direct examination that the shot s
were fired one after the other and now
you say they We're fired simultane-
ouslv" "Jes' what I said, sab. Bofe
shots were simultaneous like, one aftah
anudder. "-IoutpS Communion.
Tiny Pipes 70, WOren.
Tho uueStion do Mica woman c-nokn