Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1888-04-08
TO KEEP HUSBANDS.
Some HIuts From yernona JArbeau to In
different Wives.

different Wives.
81. Louis Republican.
Vernona Jarbeau sat in her room at the
Richelieu yesterday taking a sur bath in
such snatches as it pleased his solar ma
jesty to v~ouchsafe. She was rObed IN q
beautiful gown of grape green silk, and
her feet were as dainty and pretty
AZ red leather sandals could make
them. She was posed upright
ON a stiff Greek chair, with a healthy green
pickle in one hand and a ham sandwich in
the other, between which her attention was
equally divided. She touched with q skip
ping-rope sort of agility the beauty and
filth of Chicago, the best class OF In
ycstment for an actress, woman sur
f~ragisis, the race problem, Libby prison
and Mr.. Potter, OF Texas,sH and when
husbands were trumps her ideas were ven
tilated with rapidity and the emphasis OF
four pickles and three sandwiches. Il tell
you, winning a husband is only n pleasure
to a woman, but keeping him is a pen
ance. That is not nicely put, but what
mean is that more than twO-thirds OF the
women who marry let their husbands slip
through their fingers because they are too
lazy, too indifferent or 100 Ignorant to
keen them. A girl wins a husband uncon-
sciously. Ask any of your friends how
thew captured their other half, and
they will tell you frankly II don't
know" A mans heart is ensnared by
a pretty hand, nice teeth, a round,
low voice, frank eyes, beautiful hair;
by the way a girl walks, talks, plays,
rides, puus; by her gifts, her smile, her
~amiability, good taste, generosity, or the
very manuer in which she greets, fasci'
mates or abuses him. She may not know
how she won him, but if she doesn't know
how to keep him, the best thing for 10 do
is to find out. There are many things we
know by intuition; the rest nave to be
learned by experiment. Conscious of her
abilities or liabilities as wife, q wise wo-
man will learn how to keeps husband Just
as she learns how to keep house, to make
chicken croquettes, chocolate creams,
bread. beds or lemonade, and if she doesn't,
why some siren, with the sunshine i'll her
tresses aud the perfume of wild olives
about her, will secure for her a permanent
vacation.
''Men are not fOols. They may be boys,
but they will be treated fairly, and ii
there ia any place where the ms aud jel-
lies. custardS and cookies, are likely 10 be
hidden, be sure they will find it.
"a man loves to see his wife we'll
dressed. When she goes about in ~tatters,
with big shoes, untidy skirts, soiled col
lar and a halo of curl papers, if he doesn't
swear he thinks it. l don't believe in
the economy of home toilets, never take
a dress that is done for and wear it in the
house. When the life is gone
ont of il, it goes in the rag bag,
l make a duty Of nice linen
with plenty of lacas, AMI my house gowns
are not old, they are not wrappers, and
they are not ugly. Another hobby of
mine is my hair, which l will have as near
the poets conception of her fragrant
~tresses' as possible. Then lhaye n whole
lot of little devices-l perfume my eye
brows and lips; keep my hands soft and
cool, my teeth in good order, aud ! make
nv doctor prescribe for a sweet breath,
But don't put that in your paper.
I only tell you TO give you an idea OF
the care required to keep a man IN love
with you. Men like to preach down
ex~travagance, aud style, and dress; hut
the woman who bangs her hair, powders
the shine off her face, hides a blOtch or
scar under a piece OF court plaster, who
wants pretty gloves and stockings, trim
slippers, perfumes, balmS, cold creams,
finger curls and fancy notions to increase
her charms is the woman who IS admired
every time. Those long, lean, lank COM
nonsense ome may CAD about with
their wholesome ugliuess and cheap sim
plicity, but the procession Of men who fol-
low is not a long one.
'If a man is fond Of tlattery let him
have it. Not by the volume, hut in crisp
little verses. Hunt up poetry for his eyes;
get things to rhyme with his fat, white
hands; pick out all the big gods and little
heroes OF Troy and Rome, whose legs are
not half as good, and whose backs were
cambria by comparison. Land his shapely
head to the skies, and he will keep his
hair cut; praise his shapely hands, and yon
solve the problem Of unkept snails.
Hunt the dictionary for words
sun synonyms to give variety to your en-
thusiasm; if he has ambitions or schemes
listen 10 him with open eyes Of wonder
ment, and, no matter what the occasion il,
never permit your knowledge 10 exceed
his. Men despise smart women, but have
no fault to find when her talent is large
enough to appreciate his greatness. An
other piece of wisdom on the part OF q
wife is the cultivation Of helpleSsness
she must be able 10 lift nothing
heavier than a box Of candy; know nothing
about the management of an umbre!ls, o
window, . knot or a bundle, and Just in
proportion as she appeals to his strength,
size and greatness, just so large will her
influence V c him be. Men like 10 be
looked up at, depended on, quoted and re-
ferred TO. That's the reason why a little
woman marries three times to the M
wedding of the tall, heroic lady.
IAN ugly temper is q trial that few VIC
men are able to stand. The only cure is
silence. You mustn't talk back. No,
sentiment is Just as injurious; you can't
kiss a furiOns man, it only makes him
worse. The thing to do is TO keep still.
let him cool, and let the matter drop. He
will respect your sense and come TO terms
on his own accord. To keep a husband
an G hunter, live in a little
mystery. Don't make a sacrifice
of yourself; have idess of your own, and
secrets, too, if you like. 1t is well not to
be too tame. Men do not care much for
hunting barn-yard fowls and domestic ami
mails. They never waste their powder on
a meaner bit Of game than a fox, q model
Just inferior to the neat, trim, capyicious
little quail. 80 make the chase interest
ing he a little uncertain and allow yourself
to be caught occasionally.
ITO be born q woman is to be BORN a
martyr, but the husband that is worth
Wedding is wOsth keeping; and if a little
article, a pleasant smile, q contented
heart, forbearance, neatness, devotion and
tact will hold him, by all means let him
be held. Men should be taken as they
arc, and not rs they should be; they are not
a half bad lot under the refining inluence
of mutual interest and love, and he is a
very wretched specimen o! humanity who
cannot be counted on to shield a wife
from the Bullets of the world, and be
an anchor for her when youth md
beauty have proved unfaithful.
Poor fellow! hs is weak. but