Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-11-15
THE MIDOLERIBS.


rheumatism, and citing several Instances
which had been cured by this abrupt
remedy. MI Middlerib did not stop to
reflect that a paper is very apt to say any
thing; he only thought of the rheumatic
twing that grabbed his knees once in
while, and made life 9 burden to him.
He read the article several times and
pondered over 1t. He understood that
the stinging must be done scientifically
and thoroughly. The bee, as he under
stood the article, was to be gripped by
the ears and sat down upon the rheu-
matte Joint. and held there until it stung
itself stingless. He had some misgjvings
about the matter. He knew it would hurt.
He hardly thought it could hurt any
worse than the rheumatism, and it had
been so many years since he was stung by
bee that he had almost forgotten what it
felt like. He had, however, a general
feeling that it would hurt some. But
desperate disease required desperate
remedies, and Mr.. Middlerib was willing
to undergo any amount of suffering if il
would cure his rheutism.
He contracted with Master Middlerib
for limite4 supply of bees, humming
and buzzine in the air, but Mr.. Middlerib
did not know how TO get them. He felt,
however, that ne could safely depend up
on the instincts end methods of boyhood.
He knew that if there was anyway in
Heaven whereby the shyest bee that ever
lifted two hundred pound man off the
clover could be induced to enter q wide
mouthed bottle, his son knew that way.
For the small sum of one dime Master
Middlerib agreed to procure several, to
wit: Six bees, sex and age not specified;
but, as Mr.. Middierib was left in uncer-
tainty as TO the race, it was made obliga-
tory upon the contractor to have three of
them honey and three humble, Or in the
generally accepted vernaoular, humble
bees. Mr.. NJ. did not tell his son what
he wanted with these bees, and the boy
went off with his head go full of astonish-
ment that it fairly whirled. Evening
brings all home, and the last rays of the
declining sun fell upon Master Middlerib
with q short, wide mouthed bottle, COM
fortabiy populated with hot, ill-natured
bees, aud Mir. Middlerib and dime. The
dime and the bottle changed hands. Mr..
Middlerib put the bottle of bees in his
coat pocket and went into the house, eye
ing everybody he met suspiciously, as
though he had made up his mind to sting
to death the first person who said "bee"
TO him. He confided his guilty secret to
none of his family. He hid his bees in
his bed room, and "a he looked at them
Just before putting them away, he half
wished the experiment was safely over.
He wished the imprisoned bees did not
look so hot and cross. With exquisite
care he submerged the bottle in a ,asin
of water, and let few drops in n the
heated inmates to cooi them off.
he teotahIa he had a fear. al frlO IN
Miss Middlerjb, in the artless simplicity
of her artless uature, said:
sI smell bees. How tn Q odor brings
up"
But her father glared at her and said,
with supeIfuous harshness and execrable
grammar:
"Hush up. You don't smell nothing"
Whereupon Mrs. Middlerib ask d him
if he shad eaten anything that disagreed
with him, and Miss Middlerib said
"Why, pap and Master Mi Adlerib
smile as ne wondered.
Bed time at last, and the u; ght was
sultry and warm. Under vario Is false
pretensee, Mr.. Mi6dlerib stroll ed about
the house until everyone else was In bed,
and then he sought his room. He turned
the night shade down till its feeble rays
shone as dimly as death light.
Mr.. Middlerib disrobed slowly-very
slowly. When at last he was ready to 20
numbering to his peaceful couch, he
heaved profound sigh, so full of appre-
hension and grief that Mrs. Middierib,
who was awakened by it, said If 1t gave
him SO much pain to go to bed. perhaps
he had better sit up all night. Mr. Mid
dlerib said nothing, but checked another
sigh and crept into bed. After lying
still a few moments he reached out and
got his bottle of bees.
1t was not an easy thing to pick out
one bee out of bottleful, with mis- fin
gers, and not get into trouble. The first
bee Mr.. Middlerib got was little brown
honey bee that wouldn't weigh half ar
ounce if you picked him up by the ears
but if You lifted him by the hind legs
would weigh as much as the last end OF
q bay mule. Mr.. Middlerib could not re
press groan.
"What's the matter with your" sleepy
asked his wife.
1t was very hard for Mr.. Middlerib t
say be csly felt hot, but he, did it. 81
didn't have to lie about it either. He dil
feel very hot indeed. About eighty-s
all over, and about one hundred and nine
ty-seven on the end of his thumb. h
reversed the bee, end placed the war-lik
terminus of 1t firmly against the rheu-
matte knee.
1t didn't hurt go badly as he thought i
would
Then Mr.. Middlerib remembered tina
when honeybee stabs human foe, i
generally leaves its harpoon in tn
wound, and the invalid knew that tn
only thing this bee had to sting with wa
doing it, work at the end of his thumb
He reached his arm out from under tn
sheet, and dropped this disabled alton
of rheutmaism Imminent on the carpet
Then, after a sseond of blank wonder, b
began to feel round for the bottle, an
wished he knew what he did with it.
In she meantime strange things ha
been going on. When he caught hold o
the first bee Mr.. Middierib, for reason:
drew ii out in such haste that for tim
he forgot all about the bottle, and ii
remedial contents, and left it uncorke
in the bed, between himself and his IL
nocent wife, In the darkness tEare ha
been quiet bat general emigration frol
the bottle. The bees, with their wing
logged with the water Mr.. Middlerlb ha
poured upon them 10 cool and Tranquil
lze them, were crawling almlessiy aboI
over the sheet. While Mr.. Middlerib WI
feeling around for it, his ears were SUI
denly thrilled and his heart frozen by
wild, piercing scream from his wife.
"MurderV She screamed, "murde
Oh! help me! Help! Helpw
Mr.. Middlerib sat bolt upright in be
His hair stood on end. The night W,
warm, but he turned to ice in minute.
"Where in thunder" he said, with pa
lid lip, as he felt all over the bed in fre1
zied haste-"where In thunder are the
Internal beesf"