The Washington critic., 1888-04-07

nlml rs, ufuWluB ncIStll UP Nilu
more. "Well, did you tell him you
would?" "Yes, | did same time my
stomach ies' teased me TO slap that boyP'
was the emphatic reply. ~ Boston Courier.
Az pxpERiBNcEU riNGtIsr
''You don't mean TO say that you un.
derstand French, Tommy" 'Oh, yes,
do. When ma and pa speak French at
tea, know l'&.to have q powder. ~
DIPLOMACY As AN ART.
Flossie-Mamma, may go outdoors
and play with Ned
Mamma-No. ! am very sorry, but
you know you did not come home the
last time when told you TO, and said |
would have to refuse to let you 90 the
next time.
Sister Annette (sympathetically from
another room)-Never mind Flossie,
dear. Perhaps you can go some other
day.
Flossie Ccheerfully)-oh, don't mind.
/ didn't want to go to-day, but might
want TO 20 tomorrow, you know, SO }
thought I'd let her punish me today.
ron City Derrick.
PRACTISING on BRIDGET.
The minister called one day and was
shown into the parlor, where Johnny
undertook to entertain him until his
mother should appear. But soon stub
bing his toe against n sharp corner of fur
niture little johnny, who was only 3
years old, gave vent to string of swear
words.
ooh, oh, cried the minister, shocked;
"where do you learn 10 use such dreadful
words ?"
"Well, I'll tell you" said Johnny, con-
lidentially; "yOu see, | hear pa swearing
at ma, and then go and practise on Brid-
get"
MYSTERIES or THE SANCTUARY.
Children are keen observers, as every
one who has any ASSOCIATION with them
knows. In fact, they often take notice
of details that are entirely overlooked
by their elders. Take the remark Of
| little Back Bay girl for instance Com
ing in from church the other day She ran
to her mamma and cried:
Mamma, what funny place church
| ism
"Why, my child2' asked the mother.
"0h, COS, when the minister said Let
| us pray nobody but he sand word; and
| pretty soon after when he said Let rs
| sing nobody but four people in balcony
| over his head sang a nOten'-[ Boston
| Commonwealth.
THE LAST RECOURSE.
The children in the next room were
very noisy, and fmamma told fouT-year
| old Bessie, sitting beside her, 10 shut the
| door. Bessie closed it, but the noise was
| still painfully audible.
Mamma" looking up with a counte.
| nance indicative of q bright idea;
| 'Inama, l dess better lock II. '-[ Detroit
| Free Press,
A HAPPY foRETHouGHT
My little girl wasfive years and one day
| old last week. AS my wife was giving
! her bath she looked up and said:
| mamma, be sure and wipe me dry 50 ]
won't rust."-[ Boston Globe.
THEOLOGICAL INTELuoEScE.
"Who was Peter?n asked a Sunday
school teacher.
| Peter was brick"
"Why, Johnny, am surprised at you, -
sit says so in the Bible, anyhow.
readit the other day. II says: Thou art
Peter, and upon this brick III build my
| church.
Rock, Johnny, rock not brick
| ''Well ! knew it was some kind OF
building material. ."-[Texas Siftings.
| WISHED HE WAS AN ORPHAN.
"You' re pretty good sort of woman,
ma" said Torky to his mother, "but |
wish was an orphan Just the same
"You little scamp! What are you say
ing?" questioned his aunt, who sat in the
same room with them.
~ don't care / like her. too, Ike
everything But when she makes me sit
in the house and trot the baby all the
time when there's q hand.organ and a
| monkey across the street, itjust makes me
tart and spunky, and forget it's bad TO
| wish ! was an orphan SOS ! could shits
away and be o pirate with red whlskeTs
and yellow boots"
II LEARNING now TO RUN II.
Mother-Johnny, don't you hear me 2
Go and bring me an armful Of wood this
instant. What are you and Agnes DOING
Johnny-Holding convention. lm
trying to get Agnes TO vote for mo Tor
chairman.
Mother-Why don't you vote for him,
daughter, so he can do what | told him 10
| do
| Agnes-Nery well, Johnny, ! vote for
you for chairman.
Jolmny-That elects me. The chair APP
| points Agnes committee to bring IN the
wood Arcola Record.