Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-03-08
CARL DUNDER.
He has Several New Experiences to Relate.
Detroit Free Press

"Wen?" queried Sergt. Bendall yester-
day, as Carl Dunder entered the Wood
bridge street station for the first time in
three weeks.
81 vhas gone to Chicago und back" re-
piled the visitor, with pride in his
tones.
"Is that possible! Did you take a
guardian along?"
Sergeant vhas l some greenhorRs?"
''The bigges one [ ever saw"
'Yhel, maybe dot vhas so. When I
goes NIT der train young man comes
oafer to me und says vhas Carl Dunder
vhas. All right. Say, Mr.. Dunder, I
hat new parlor game like to show you
Maybe [ make you my agent in Detroit,
und def salary vhas $25 per week. He
dakes three cards oudt of his pocket und
thcews 'em around like so.
exactly. That's the old game Of
three card monte. You bit of course?"
''Vhell he says, he like ma to pick oudt
dot shak of hearts ind I do so. Den ne
likes me to bet ten dollar I can't do her
again"
"And you bet?"
eyes"
And you lost?"
Yes
"Served you right"
''Vhell, maybe so, but when take dot
young mans by der throat upd shoke him
till his tongue comes oudt he makes a
bargain NIT me. He gifts me twenty
dollar to shtop off on him."
"He did?"
"Eots how it vhas. Maybe l vhas green
like soma grass, ind maybe know how
to come in when she rains. When I goes
so far as Niles, an oIdt mans comes in
der car und says vhas Carl Dunder?
vhas. All right. Say, Mr.. Dupder, here
vhas a big telegram from your wife
Don't be excited. Maybe your house
vhas on fire, und maybe she likes you to
do some Grant in Chicago. Keep cool
und be prepared. Dee sharge it vhas
twelf shillings."
'i'll bet it vhas bogus dispatch?"
"Vhellw
sand you got caught?"
''Vhell, take along some bogus silver
dot Shake takes i'll from der boys, ind
gift him dree bad half dollar. He vhas in
great hurry to go but I see him poorly
soon again. He comes by der car window
und runs his tongue at me ind says he
can lick me in two minutes. Dot dis
patch vhas all blank paper. Maybe
vhas so soft as pumpkins, Ell, serjeant?'
'You did well, anything else?"
"Vhen I goes into Chicago I meet a
very nice gentleman, but don't know
him. He knows me. Vhas Carl Dun
der? I vhas, dot Was good. He like to
tell me l draw a prize in some lot
tery.'
CHATS the old bunko game, and you
bit of course?"
"Vhell, if draws some money like to
get him don't II"
"Of course"
"Und L hat to GO along?"
"Certainly."
"VhelI, We don't go no more ash two
blocks before we meet a policemaps, und
grab dot barty ind lay him on his back
und glf him away for some bunko. Der
officer dakes him away und make it hot
for him. Was 1 some cabbage head?"
81 guess not. Anything else?"
"Vhell, when vhas coming home, und
shust before we vhas in Detroit, some
body picks my pocket"
81 thought it would end that way. How
much did you Loser"
''Lose? 1 don't lose no.hings. I take
oudt all my mony und write on slip of
paper: How vhas chestnuts? p und der
man who got him comes aroundt pooty
soon und says if he lives two tousand
years he Will knock me oudt. vhas only
an oldt Dutchmans, sarjeant, und I Vhas
so green de COWS bite at me, but maybe /
goes to Chicago und back uud don't get
lost, -eh?''