The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-16
BRIGHT BITS.

MICHIGAN makes more shingles than all the
other States in the Union, but curiousy enough,
1t has no more than the usual percentage Of
good boys. Harrington Free Press.
You can live within your income if you try"
says the wise man Yes. but how to live with
out an income is the puzzle that bothers a
great many good men just Minneapolis
Tribune.
DE SNITH-Don't You think that Giblets ought
to be the best contented young man in town?
Travis-Why sog
De Smth--Why, he has more pretty cousins
whom he is privileged to kiss than any five fell
lows know of.-BuriiR9ton Free Press.
A VERMONT CASHIER, who had served fifty-one
years in that position and always showed a
square balance, was the other day presented
This is another living proof that honesty is GER
tain to be rewarded in the end.-Detrou Free
Press
BUSINESS FRIEND from Dantsic- Lovely chill
dren, madame, the very image Of their man.
ma,
Lady of the House-You are mistaken, sir
they are batch Of hungry, ragged school chill
dren that | have brought in TO dinner-Der
FIoh.
AN EASTERN MAN has invented a scale so deli
cate in its adjustment [hat it will turn
on the six hundred and forteth of carat,
detecting the flaws in a diamond by weight.
This is marvellous. considering the fact that the
ordinary scale will not find flaw in ton Of
al-Chjcago Inter Ocean.
81 DON'T SEE why you should sneer at my en-
gagement ring, said the fair girl, with a flush
Of Indignation on her cheek, as she faced the
belle Of the opposition town. Its great deal
prettler than the one you wore three years ago,
and haven't worn since"
"No, dear" replied her friend, with cool,
far-away look in her voice; not prettier; but
quite as pretty. 1t is the same ring Puck.
THE Northwestern road has given out that the
word wild " used for naming trains not down
on the time card, would be used no MORE and in
its place the word special would be supplied.
The reason is the action an Iowa jury took in
a damage case. man had some cattle killed
by wild train and brought suit against the
company. When it came to the word wild in
the naming Of the train, the jury defined the
word wild" as a train that was run by a
maniac, and did not look out or stop for any
thing They accordingly rendered a verdict
giving damages to the cattle owner-OShkOSh
northeastern
DAN" said the President to Col. Lamont,
did YOU see where Voorhees, in his speech, said
that our free trade message was the best public
document since jefferson first inauguralf'
Yes said Col Lamont, Il saw that, and
thought it was very fine"
Il should say it very fine" said the PreSi-
dent. The next time you see voorhees,, just
ask him if he has any young friend whom he
would like to send abroad on small foreign
misson-say about 81. 800 or $4,000 a year.
think it was worth at least that much to com
pare us favoraby with Thomas jefferson. st
Louis Globe Democrat.
ST. PETER What's your name?
John l. sullivan
"Oho, Yes I've heard of you Mr. Sullivan.
You're quite noted character down on earth. d"
" Swat / am
"A champion pugilist. l believer"
I'm er world beaten"
81 suppose your business with me is to gain
admission to heaveny
That's what
'Well, YOU can't go in. don't think you'd
be satisfied.
why not?N
The gate receipts are too light. st. Paul
Globe.