Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-12-21
How He Played Lady's Maid.

How He Played Lady's Maid.
From the Boston Saturday Evening Gazette.
Mr.. Goodman, in the sudden absence Of his
wifes maid, attempts to help her on with her
new winter dress.
He-You just see If can't help you just as
well as that blamed English maid. Confound
it. after I've helped You once you'll be wanting
me to all the time, see if you don't.
She-well, put it on carefully now over my
head. Look out for my hair; don't see what
possessed me to do it up before put this thing
on, though couldn't have raised my arms. I
suppose, afterward. Look out, there's hook
caught in my hairpin. For heavens sake,
Charles, get it one way or the other, I'm
sitting, and my hair will all be down. There,
now that top steel is too high and the cushion
interferes with it. Suppose you could get the
cushion out? Rip it, pull it, anythingi Don't
you see it's o'clock? Got it out? Can't you
do it2 Pull it, tell you'll All right. Now see If it
looks too fiat. Well, hook it then. Yes, you
can too, it's only q patent hook. Snap i'll
There, now, hold it SO I can get my arms into
the sleeves--not way up there-do you
take me for q contortionist? Oh, I
never can get those sleeves on-grab
hold Of the arm hole with both hands,
shoulder-tell me il it begins to burst-does it?
The veins in my hands will burst, believe
open that window, win you-there now-give
me the ends of that belt, will you-don't tell
me, Cnarle6, tnat you've tWlsteQ the waist and
I've got to take it of again! Why. how could
you have been % stupid? Where were your
eyes2 No, you can't pull it OF that way-pull
it of Just as You do sglove-there, now, do ex-
ert yourself to get it right this time. Open
that window little wider, will you? What is
the matter; caught something? Well, never
mind. Unlock your watch and let the chain
hang on the dress-it won't be likely to fall of,
and you mustn't tear TINT lace-weu, I'll get
you another one il you lose lido get those
sleeves on again-there, now, pass me the belt.
Oh, that fool Of dressmaker, she's got this 90
tight, when told her wanted to be comfort
able. Open that door, win you, % there win
be draught. Now zee II you can hook this
you see, the hooks and eyes alternate on
each side, 90 % to make IL hold? Can't you get
II together? Why, pull; can stand it. Torn
your finger nails out2 Well, for heavens sake,
Charley, don't notice IL now. I've got some
thing I'll put on IL after We get home. Can
You hook that last hook, mp on my left shoul-
der; and then that one down on my right hip?
Now, get Q good firm hold Of the bottom Of my
skirt and give IL pull down al round. Now
do get out Of the way and let me look In the
mirror. Heavens! I look Ike . perfect dump.
Tip the mirror up little more, win you? No,
not that way-ths other v.y-snd 60 get me
little higher, and do keep ont Of my way;
can't zee square inch Of my dress. Well Il
looks little bettsr than thought e did q
first Just give that drapery behind . smooth.
WIN you2 and pull that ruching up in my neck.
There, now, put both your hands around nv
waist, and give Il 10 good hard smooth down.
There, guess that win do now. look very
wen. But for goodness sake don't ever ask ne
y let you help me againT