davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-25
Tie Dog Failed Him.

The Cambridge, N. Y. Post says
"A certain resident Of the village is
the proud possessor of handsome
Newfoundland dog and a small boy
He has read much of the instinct pos.
sessed by this breed of dogs, which
leads them to rescue people from
drowning. One day not long since
the dog and the small boy were walk
ing along the banks of the stream
that flows through this village. Com.
ing to place where the water was
over the boys head, it occurred to the
man that here was an opportunity to
test the life-saving qualities of the
dog, and on the impulse of the mo.
ment he seized the child and threw
him in. The dog, instead of rushing
to the rescue, as according TO all au-
thorities he should have done, sat up
on the bank as unconcerned as an old
bachelor at wedding, and no urging
could make him play the part that he
was cast for in the little drama. The
result was, that the man, TO save his
child's life, had to plunge into the
stream. 1t is worth taking quite a
journey to hear him give his opinion
of the life-saving qualities of New
foundland dog"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-25
The Young Man Won.

A grown-up man, man of mature
years, would not have done it. He
would have put his arm around hei
and said gently:
Dear, | don't like your painting
and powdering. 1t don't make you
make you look nice.
And she would have told him that
she thought it did, and if he didn't
like it he could go and get another
girl, or something like that. At the
best she wouldn't have taken any no.
tice of the remonstrance. But he
was n young man, and that was not
his way. He was going to take hel
to the theater, and knowing her pc.
culiarity, he took powder puff and
box of rouge in his pocket. When
she came down stairs she was decor
ted as usual He Immediately pulled
out his rouge and powder, and paint
ed himself up.
"What are you doing?"
"Only making myself handsome"
81 will not go out with you like
that"
"Wby not ?"
ut would mortify me to death ?"
"Well, but you're just like that"
"But ] am woman"
"Well, I'll make a bargain. If
you will wash off yours | will wash
off mine"
awe don't go out, then"
Gall right"
But she thought better of it, and
she accepted his bargain. She was
very pretty after that.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-25
He Never Spoke.

Have you lost your way, ma am :"
querried Jefferson avenue policeman
of woman who was acting as if be-
wildered.
"Lost my way. Naw!" she ex-
claimed, as she came to halt. "Pm
looking for the old man."
"Yours ?"
"Of course. I'm not looking for
anybody else's. He is short, bends
over and"
81 saw him few minutes ago, with
piece of watermelon in his hand"
"You did, eh. That's his game, is
it! He was in rush to get off alone
and | suspected something"
81 think you'll find him in that
hallway, ma'am," said the officer, in
dicating spot few doors below.
Thanks" she said, as she tip-toed
of. The watching officer saw her
take few sly observations and then
she suddenly sprang into the door
way. There was a yell of terror, fol-
lowed by thump and bump, and be-
fore he could reach the spot the wo-
man appeared, clutching the old man
by the collar with one hand and hold
ing the halfdevoured slice Of water
melon in the other.
Didn't expect me, did you p she
said, as she wobbled him around.
"sneaked off when my back was turn
ed and the first thing you did was to
go for water melon. Played sneak
on your wife, didn't you? Hid away
and knawed it clean down to the
rind, you old shoat, you Come back
to the depot, and if you try to break
away I'll make it the worse for you" ;"
He didn't try. She wobblcd him
back and forth, but he licked his
chops and made no protest. She had
caught him red handed and red-cored.
Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-25
A Hard-Shelled-F Story.

l had heard of these giant crabs,
but had no idea that they attained
such enormous size, says traveller.
Arriving in japan, found a man
who said he could take me to spot
where they could be caught. We
started one afternoon in one of the
small native boats, steering for the
mouth of n small river some miles
away.
1t was dusk when we reached the
spot, and for three mortal hours we
sat there, speechless, watching the
shore. The tide was on the ebb, and
finally the fisherman grasped me sud-
denly by the arm, and pointed down
the shore little way. There soon
made out a curious, numbering object,
making its way out of the water. On
it came, until finally l could make
out the outlines of gigantic crab. l
waited until the animal stopped, and
showed signs that it would go no
higher, and then rushed out, making
for the water so as to head it off,
had provided myself with a large
stick, and soon found that l should
have to use it, as the moment the huge
creature saw us it started for the wa
ter, crawling along sidewise, and at
no mean rate of speed. placed my
self in front of it, but on the creature
came, holding aloft its two claws, each
of which was ten feet long and by
the time it reached me | stepped aside.
and was rather in quandry, as
wanted to secure it entire.
The Jap was talking and yelling
something that / could not under
stand, and suddenly grasped one OF
its big claws. Seeing his game,
grasped the other, and we held on as
well as we could and would you be.
lieve it-but the strength of the ami.
NAL was such that we could not stand
still We pulled in opposite direc-
tions, however, and in this way lifted
the animal from the ground; but
while we were holding on, the crab
by quick movement, threw off its
large claws, as you have probably
seen small ones do, and over we went
headlong into the mud, each holding
Il claw, while the crab took fresh
start for the water. We dropped the
claws, and soon had it again, and a
native rope soon held it powerless, al
though its struggles to escape, and the
strength displayed, were marvellous
that is, for crab.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-25

Three commercial travellers, meet
ing at a Virginia hotel one winter
evening, had hearty supper together.
Supper over, the three found some
difficulty in allotting their respective
shares of the bill ; but one of them
at length cut short the dispute by
proposing that whosoever had the cold
est name" among them should go free,
the expenses being halved by the other
two. This amendment being prompt
ly accepted, No. produced card
incribed "Richard Eve," which No.
2 trumped with "Adam Brown"
Then No. 3, a portly veteran with a
humorous gray eye, laid down his card
with the quiet confidence of great
general making decisive movement,
and remarked, with chuckle, 81 don't
much think you'll beat this 'un, gents.
And he was right, for the name was,
"Mr. B. Ginning"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-25
-DoBBINS' ELECTRIC
o. l.. MATT HEWS,
L. s. PENSION ATTORNEY
ANN ARBOR, MICHIGAN.

Thousands of soldiers their widows OF depend
ent relatives entitled to pension or increase OF
pension, bounty, travel pay or other allowance
who have never applied for IL. Many minor heirs
can get PENSIONS regardless Of ago now. Hundreds
OF dependent parents are entitled to pension.
Many of those claims have been rejected in the
hands Of incompetent agents. i can in many OF
such claims procure favorable result Thousands
of soldiers pensioned on one disability and are
entitled TO increase on another, or are rated too
low, entitled TO increase result of disable
ity upon which claim was granted. The laws are
now more liberal and the rulings of the pension
office less exacting than formerly. i have in the
past few months succeeded in getting 90 per cent.
of increase claims allowed by actual count. This
shows good, careful work. About eight soldiers
out of ten are entitled 10 pension other allow
ance. No matter what your claim is, write me full
ly about il. with stamp for reply, and will advise
you free. II take your claim no fee is charged
unless | successful, and then Just what the de-
partment allows. Address,
O. l.. MATTHEWS,
500 Ann Arbor, Mich
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-25

Papa" said the daughter of a
large employer of labor, "are you in
favor of the eight-hour system p
swell, daughter" he answered, "un.
der certain circumstances | am"
oh, I'm so glad" she rapturously
exclaimed. "Why, my dear, why
are you so interested 2" Because,
papa, George has been only staying
four hours every evening, and he told
me last night if you favored the eight
hour system he needn't 60 home near
ly So early. You dear old papa, I'm
50 glad you are in favor of it," and
she threw her soft white arms about
his neck and choked off all explana-
tions.-Washington Critic.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-25
Couldn't Hurt il Much

He went to Richmond hotel anC
modestly called for beefsteak. When
it came he tinkered at it for ten min.
utes, and then he said:
Waiter"
"Sah ?'
"What is this ?"
"Beefsteak, sah."
Thank you. No guests usually
try to cut them ?"
Reckon dey do, sab, unless dey
got right smart moufs."
"Yes. Well, | haven't. I'm from
New York. You take that steak
back to the cook, waiter, and tell him
| haven't hurt it any. I've only bent
it a little. > Chicago Tribune,
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-25

Scientists are now inquiring how long
it takes to think. Well, when a man
has to think of some way to pay a
months board bill with only S216 in
in his pocket to do it with, it takes a
good long while.-Puck.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-25

Magistrate-Under what circum-
stances, Uncle Rastus, were you
induced to violate the law ?
Uncle Rastus-Dey was mitigatin'
sab dat's what dey was.-Life.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-25

There is nothing like adaptation for
ones vocation. The greater proper
ton of tailors, for a good example, are
engaged in the most fitting occupation
they could have found.-Star.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-25

According to the statistics with
regard to the national debts of the
world, this old terrestrial ball must be
worth about SO cents on dollar at
public auction.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-25

There's mining company in ST
Louis composed entirely of women.
The stockholders are interested in
Minnie.ralogy.-Pittsburgh Chroni
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-25
READ THIS TWICE.

THERE is great saving of time, of labor, of
soap, of fuel, and of the fabric, where Dobbins'
Electric Soap is used according to directions.
ONE trial will demonstrate its great merit IL
will pay you 10 make the trial.
Like all best things, IL is extensively initiated
and counterfeted.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-25

Husband-If ! ever catch you
flirting, l shall first kill you, then the
destroyer of my domestic happiness,
after which I'll commit suicide.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-25

A widow who had recently lost her
mother attended spiritual seance
and desired to communicate with her
husband.
Have you met dear mamma in
heaven, George Henry :"
Promptly the answer came back /:
"Yes, have, and I'm going down to
sheol to spend the summer"
Here the widow said the medium
was "mean, nasty thing and the
connection was broken. .-Woonsocket
Patriot,
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-25
Advertising Rates.

Business Cards, one year, one dollar per line
Local notices, among local reading matter, ten
sents per linz for each insertion
business notices. i've cents per limo each insertion
Births, Marriages and Deaths FREQ.
Obituaries, Resolutions, Cards Of Thanks, etc,
Of advertisinS rates.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-25

A German scientist proves that hair
grows after death. Very likely, but
how it survives cooking and chopping,
and appears long and vigorous in the
hash, is what we call upon science to
answer.-Texas Sitting.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-25

Squildig thinks the people in the
high latitudes have postal facilities
because the North pole must be a
ost-of-ice.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-25

The portrait painter generally gets
his pay partially in advance. He is
thus always drawing ad.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-25

Wife-Why don't you reverse the
order of your crimes and commit sui
eide first Texas Siftings.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-25
WIT AND HUMOR

Always in tune-A ten-dollar note.
Star.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-25

n perman SclenIlSI proves JnaJ nan
grows after death. Very likely, but
how it survives cooking and chopping
and appears long and vigorous in the
hash, is what we call upon science to
answer.-Texas Sitting.
Irate Deacon--"I hear you say
was like an old goose. What do you
mean by such comparisons"
Wag pastor.-"Always down on
your knees"
Deacon-"Well, swan. ."-Dulutl
Paragrapher.
Scene-Deck of ocean steamer
two passengers in rear of wheelhouse
one apparently very seasick.
Talkative, wantedto-be-pleasant
passenger-Traveling for pleasure
sir, | presume ?
Invalid-Eh? Yes-oh, yes isn't
it evident Ocean.
Mrs. Blood (to the Colonel My
dear, when you came home last night
you were quite sober.
Colonel-Yes, / only drank twice
Mrs. Blood (anxiously)-Well,
what is the trouble, dear? Have you
heard some bad news, or aren't you
well Epoch.
II hear you have changed your
boarding place r.
"Yes, had to do it. My old place
was too luxurious. A dinner of three
courses every day was running my
digestive apparatus"
"Three courses? What were they p
Napkins, ice water and toothpicks. y
Boston Transcript.
Miss Petroleum. does make me
so mad. With all our money, we
don't git no respect"
Mrs. P.-"Eh? What's folks been
saying now2'
"Hintin' about the way we got our
cash. What do you think Miss Bos-
ton said when | showed her pops
new portraiti She asked if it was
painted in oil. Lincoln journal.
"Well, Abe, they tell me you went
to pop the question to Miss Chloe last
evening. How did you make out 2"
"Me1 'Clar ter goodness, sab, |
made out de side winder, an mighty
libcly, too, lemme tell yer"
"Then you got the mitten, did you p
"Mitten Huh, dey war'at no nit
ten bout it tall; 'twar jis' dc bar
han, an my jaw sorter iingles yit
wild de mem brance. ."-Yonkers Ga
zette.
A widow who had recently lost her
mother attended spiritual seance
and desired to communicate with her
husband.
Have you met dear mamma in
heaven, George Henry :"
Promptly the answer came back (:
~. I Lavo 81 H., ..o:,,.. ,l...., a.,
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-25

Wealth changes a man more than
age.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-25

A slow match-four years of court
ship.-Merchant Traveller.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-25

A GREAT OFFER.
sOr s2.OO you can have rHK WEKKLy FnRE Pnnse
end THE AMrnICAN AcWCULruRlsr each for one
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sooks VIZ pHuFir- ~ rouIrRY," 100 iliurtrstionA
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OIL N>nr publications I, S3hO. Mailed post paid.
for Premium ~ and Sample Copy.
drc~ TuE FREE PRESS co.,
Detroit. Mieh-
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-25
Beware Of RnitatiOns.

INSIST upon Dobbins' Electric. Don't take
Magnetic Elcctro-Magic, Philadelphia Electric, oi
any other fraud, simply because il is cheap. They
will ruin clothes, and dear at any price. Ask fol
DORBINS' ELECTRIC
and take no other. Nearly every grocer from
Maine TO Mexico keeps il in stock. If yours hasn't
It, he will order il from his nearest wholesale grocer
READ carefully the inside wrapper around eacf
bar, and be careful 10 follow directions on each
outside wrapper. You cannot afford to wait long
er before try ny for yourself this old, reliable
and truly wonderful
DObbins' Electric Soap.
S5SVl
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-25

1t is always bad for the truth when
liar speaks it.-New Orleans Picay'
une.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-25

Irate Deacon--"I hear you say
was like an old goose. What do you
mean by such comparisons" ?"
Wag pastor.-"Always down on
your knees"
Deacon-"Well, swan. Duluth
Paragrapher.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-07-25
No other paper !: a; ueIl sdag,ed to the wants Q
A GREAI OFFER,

u yoa do MT take It, SUBSCRIBE NO
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-05-20

Stage Manager Harrison's benefit
Wednesday evening was well attended.
1.-THE Octoroon" was produced, Mr..
Harrison appearing as McCloskey, the
assassin. He gave abundant proof of
his dramatic ability and was heartily
applauded. Friday night the benefit to
Edwin Barbour occurred, when another
large audience was attracted. ''Lost in
London" was produced, in which he
took the part of Job Armroyd, the
Bleakmore miner. The popular actor
never delighted an audience more
highly than upon this occasion. For the
coming week benefits to Wallace ID.
Shaw and j. B. Brown are announced.
The formers testimonial is to occur
Wednesday evening, when Hazel
Kirk" will be produced, and the latter's
Friday evening, when Damon and
Pythias" is to be given, Miss Jennie
O'Neil Potter to assist in the produc-
ton. Gus SeitZ, the drill sergeant of
the police force. will also fence with
Mr.. Brown to decide the question of
ability with the foils, and the contest
will undoubtedly prove very interest
ing feature.
Mr.. Brown was the first man to pro-
duce "She," and made financial fall
ure of it, which probably accounts for
his appearance in Minneapolis. He
thought there was demand for dra-
matte version of the novel, but found
out his mistake too late.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-05-20
A Big Week at the Museum.

There will, no doubt, be great crowds
at the Minneapolis dime museum again
this week, for remarkably strong at
fractions are afforded. First of all there
is Baldwin, the greatest of all balloon
lists, who made his ascension from the
ball ground Wednesday and the fright
full jump at height of 10000 feet.
Probably $4,000 people saw the most
thrilling and beautiful sight of their
lives, for no man ever did such thing
before. Immediately after Prof. Bald
win had landed safely Kohl, Middleton
d Co. began negotiations with him, and
by paying the fearless 2ronaut an enor-
nous salary, they secured him. Prof.
Baldwin will have with him his balloon,
parachute and all his paraphernalia.
He will explain their construction and
also how he accomplisheS the great ex-
plot. There will be a remarkable curl
Osity also in curiO hall. Baby Bunting,
the smallest horse that ever lived, will
be on exhibition. 1t was brought from
China and is but 26 inches in height
and 81 inches long. Baby Bunting is
not pony, but full grown and per-
feet horse, and a very beautiful one.
There will also be Madame Carver, the
massive, and her midget of son, Ka-
lorin. the pottery queen, and other in
tereSting features. On the upper stage
Riley Il Hamilton's Comedy company
will present the funny farce comedy,
"a Kiss in the Dark" and in the lower
theater will be congress of vaudeville
stars, including the RonaldoS.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-05-20
NOTES.

A. E. Underwater, the gymnastic in
structOr of the West Minneapolis turn
yerein, is to receive benefit this even
ing at Turner hall. A splendid pro-
gramme of gymnastic exercises by some
of the most accomplished athletes in the
city is to be given, and DanZ's orchestra
will furnish music.
Company A will give benefit series
at the Grand June Z, 8 and 9, presenting
'PatriOtiSm," SiX-act military drama.
All of the members of the company will
take part and will be assisted by thirty
eight Minneapolis young ladies. Capt.
Amory has had considerable experience
as professional and the splay will be
put on in good style.
Hicks q Sawyer'S Gigantic COlOred
MINISTRIES are booked to appear at the
Grand the last three nights of the week.
talent from the old Georgia MINISTRIES,
and the entertainment is said to contain
many bright and original features,
Percy WerdOn has been engaged to
manage George NJ. Ciprico during the
Minneapolis engagement at the Grand.
Mr.. CipricO will be seen in "Hamlet,"
his great Drury theater, London, sue
cess.
The first part is new, and the special
ties are also novel, among them are the
Bridal Veil'' song and dance, the
black zouave drill, and very funny
afterpiece.
The charming Annie Pixley will play
at the Grand in 1.-THE Deacon's Daugh-
ter'' next week.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-05-20
[IIjlInp@E|

not expected. however, that the grand
stand or pavilion will be erected until
fall, and during the summer da TT the track !,
purposes. Mr.. Griffin's assertion that
the track will be the best that Lies out
of doors IN America" has attracted the
general attention of turfmen through
out the country, and numerous applica-
lions for using it for training purposes
have been received. Thirty-siX stalls
for horses have been fitted up already,
and the number will doubtless be in
creased to 100 by June.
A bicycle track third of mile in
circumference is being laid out inside
of the main track, and accommodations
for the games of the CaledOnian club
are to be made, including baseball
diamond.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-05-20
A SPLENDID PROGRAMME
For the Press Club Entertainment
at the Grand Onera House


The fourth annual entertainment to
be given under the auspices of the Min
neapolis Press club at the Grand Opera
house, Monday evening. is sure to at
tract large and fashionable audience.
Agreat many seats have already been
sold, and the box office, which opened
Friday, has been almost continually be-
sieged by purchasers. The programme
is certai My superb one, and is so va
ried in its features as to please nearly
every taste. 1t speaks for itself.
PARTI.
Overture-'.S em1ramide'. .. Rossini
DanZs Orchestra.
Short Address. 80. President Cyrus Northrop
Quartets-A Legends. Mohring
B Barcarole ...... ......... Brahms
Carol Club.
Sopranos: Mrs. W. b. Grosskopf, Miss Susie
Mckay. Contraltos: Miss Julia May, Mrs.
Gertrude Sprague.
Reading-''The Raven Edar A. Poe
George NJ. Ciprico.
"Brennenne Liebe' Gavotte. ..............
neutrality-suspicious.. DOS. Rixner, OPP. 425
Minneapolis Either Club.
Max Mayer, director; Gottlieb Hack, Max
Zaph, |. l.. Hopper, P. f. Lund, Carl Geist
F. j. Geist, P. M. Scheig, C. r. SHIRLEY.
Selection from .'Faust'' .... ....... Gounod
Danz's Orchestra.
Character Songs and Sketches ......-...
Observation-Disclosures. 80. Sol Smith Russell
1.-THE Flowers of Italy''-Mazurka w
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.. A. Montanelli
Mandolin Club.
Sig. Montanelli Miss Trefethen, Messrs. Palm
er. Braden, Willard and Merriam, mando-
Inns; Messrs. Buchanan and Williams.
guitars.
''Song of the Toreador'' from "Carmen'')
A. W. Porter, and orchestra accompaniment.
seek No Further"-March. Horace Weston
Hollow Cove Banjo Club.
Charles r. SHIRLEY. Robert Gale, E. s Rogers,
banjos; Ed Morse Will Gale, guitars
The usual price at the opera house
will prevail.