Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1888-11-16
POINTS OF HUnoR,
1EBucHApNEzzAR was the first grass

/
NEBucHADNEzzAR was the first grass
widower. fsa+
ADouBLE tenement house is apt to be
rent in twain.
The first boycott Gains little bed
NesU York journal.
EVERY dude has q head Light
Duluth Photographer. tx
| AN Irish philosopher says the best
pumpkin pie is made out Of squash
Puck. 4& tsss' $3.50
The Bagging Trust.-A dudes faith
that his trousers will not bulge at the
knees. }@Tl
IT makes man hopping mad to step
on hot stove-lid. - Washington
Critic. s .,...S
"AND how is your little brother
George, Flossie?" Hes dead, thank
You. "-Harpe,'s Baz0r.
THERE is considerable difference be-
tween football and the ball of ones
foot.-Rochester Post Cypress.
The left bower man who isn't
recognized by the lady to whom he lifts
his hat.-B1trliaagto1a Free Press.
A PUBLIC Office has a private snap
| when there is Yale lock on the door.
Pittsburgh Chronicle Telegraph.
IT is said that mine in Colorado is
called The Pot" because it was opened
by two Jacks.-PittsbaLTgh Chronicle
| Telegraph.
CAIN was the first base man. Abel
was the first man struck out, after he
had just made sacrifice hit.-Te1Te
Haaste Express.
The man whose head is not evenly
balanced is most particular about part
ing his hair in the middle.-Ne,0 Or
leans Picayat,se. 54aq
In st. Louis, (after the wedding.)
He-And now tell me, darling, why did
you weep when we approached the holy
alter? She-Love, l lost my chewing
gum as we walked up the aisle oaU7s
Topics.
ScHULTz--What was going on over at
your house last night? It sounded like
an earthquake. Miller-O, nothing at
all; it was mere trife, in fact. My
wife asked why came home so Late
Tenas Siftiaags.
count of "A Black Rain" Such thing
may be a novelty in this country, but in
Africa, where there are negro kings.
Chronicle Telegraph.
HELLO, Skinny! Haven't seen you
for three or four months" @No; I've
been spending the season at Newport. "
Rather extravaganza! How could you
afford to do it?" Easy enough. Twas
waiter. "-SGta1rlay Gazette.
81 JUST paid 50 for q rare cent" re-
marked a coin, collector to the snake
editor. "That's nothing" was the re-
ply. II had perfume bottle filed for
my wife yesterday and it cost 1915.
That scent cost more than yours."-
Pittsburgh Dispatch.
| A VAIN mans motto is, @Win gold
and wear it," generous mans, swim
gold and share it," misers, Win gold
and spare it," brokers', "Win gold and
lend it," FOOLS, "Win gold and end
it," gamblers "Win gold and lose it, "
and wise mans, "Win gold and use
it."
FIRST TRAMp-WelI, Jerry, how are
they comm? Second Tranquility
rocky, Bill, purity rocky. But I was
worth $4,000 for about six hours last
week. First Tramp-How was that,
Jerry? Second Tramp Couple of jay
constables thought I was Tasoott.-
Terre Haatte Express.
PERISH the Thought. Mrs. Pelting-
lar-I only repeat, Mr.. Blande, what
she said; and, of course, know one
must not give entire credence to every
thing she says. Mr.. Blande-Oh, my
dear madam, I felt quite sure you did
/ I. -
story-all the time you were telling it.
Fun.
i A MAN who dwells on failure with
/ discomfort condemns himself of little
, ness. We cannot be masters of our
selves till our sovereignty has been
! challenged and proved. The salutary
! shock comes on this side and that, and
) the courageous sufferer is taught the
/ wealth of his resources.
, SUNDAY-sCHooL TEAcHER-Now, chill
) dren, that the lesson is ended, you may
: ask any questions you like, and I will
try to answer them. Is there anything
7 you want to know, Willie? "Yes,
, ma'am." "What is it?" (which club
do yer think winned der game at del
. park terday ?"-Liocol,a Journal.
CooK-Please, mum, the boarders
complain that breakfast is SO late an
supper SO early that the meals come toe
; close together, and they don't have nj
; appetite. Mrs. Slimdiet- Jane
I'm willing to do anything to please my
. guests, except change the hours o
= meals. Them is the rules of the house
= But there's no use maxim folks sicl
u seem things they. don't want. JUS
! cook a little less - PLiln(leZDhil
- Record. .e
A LOVE RACE.
We ran race up Duncans hill,
The wager was q kiss;
s She ran her best, did the same,
For fear that should miss!
reached the top wi soople stride
Afore Meg got half way,
But what think We O. womans wiles-
The jade she wndna pay.
Ae NIGHT just three weeks after that,
9 I tauld her O. the debt;
Quo I, "My lass, ye'd better pay,
For fenr ye should forget
u At was ae kiss Mt first, We ken;