St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-12-02
Suffering Stories.

Pittsburg Dispatch.
An unkiud story-even if true-was
told me while 1 was in England of a
young lady who married suffering
man.
The young man was undoubtedly a
sufferer OF. the most positive order, for
! have heard him go through paroXySms
to get out a simple Good morningr'
The lady whom he subsequently mar
ried was of an eminently practical turn
of mind. No maiden modesty OF bash
fulnesS cloyed her methods. She spoke
to the point and never left thought IN
expressed if she deemed it pertinent.
After he had called upon her some three
or four times she decided that it was
about time for her to know his inten-
tons. So the next time he called, after
they had seated themselves as usual on
the sofa, she said quietly but firmly:
MIR. Smith. | am very much f1attered
by the interest you have taken in me,
and the flowers you have given me are
very pretty. but feel that should not
be doing my duty if l delayed any
longer asking you what your intentions
are: whittier do these intentions and
presents lead?''
Young Mr.. Smith rose to his feet and
a blush rose to his cheeks. He essayed
to speak. For moment his lips and
tongue seemed paralyZed. Then he
managed to get out 'M-M-M-M-My
d-d-d-d-d"-but he could get no farther.
The d might have stood for any number
of words, but Miss Smith, justifable,
perhaps, interpreted it to stand for
darling and the youths acute embarrasS-
ment to modest confusion in making a
formal proposal.
Anyway, she took Mr.. Smith by the
hand, and looking into his eyes, eX
claimed: "Mr. Smith. appreciate your
embarrassment, but understand. what
you wish to say. You may speak to
papa, and if he approves, so do I.''
They were married few months later,
but MIR. Smith has never explained sat
isfactoriIy to his friends whether he
suffered into matrimony of his own free
will or against it.
Another amusing consequence of an
impeded speech comes to my mind.
A lady who could not say twenty
words without suffering to greater or
less extent, called upon a family that
had moved into her neighbOrhOOd a
short time before. AS luck would have
it, in this family was young lady who
suffered. and she it was who opened
the door when the aforementioned lady
called. For convenience let us call the
caller Mrs. x, and the girl who is stand
ing inside the door is Miss Y.
Mrs. x. was little nervous, and
thence her intirmity gathered strength.
Said she: rs M-M-M-M-M NJ" and so on.
Miss Y. gazed at Mrs. x. in astonish-
ment, and as the "M's'' piled up and
nothing Ineligible followed them, she
asked: MISUNDERSTANDING what
d.d-do you want?"
Now it was Mrs. KS turn to be as
tonished, and, worse still, angry. She
thought Miss Y. was initiating her, and
she said tolerably clearly: ''You are
the m-m-m-m-most im-im-impudent girl
| ever saw"
Puzzled Miss Y. grew mad at this,
and slammed the door in Mrs. KS face,
and reported to her mother that she had
just cOnversed with maniac.
A great disturbance shook the neigh
borhOod in consequence of this inter
view. but mutual friends stepped in and
explained to the ladies the true origin
of the difficulty, and they grew to be
fast friends afterWard.