davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-08-17
IInY Fever.

have suffered greatly from periodical
returns of hay fever. Covert x Cheever,
Druggists, suggested Ely's Cream BALM.
used il during a severe attack. / can
cheerfully testify as 20 she immediate
and continued relief obtained by its use.
heartily recommend it to those suffering
from this or kindred complaints.-Rey. II.
A. Smith, Clinton, Wis.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-08-17
Huckien's Arnica SaIye.

The Best Salve in the world for Cuts
Bruises, Sores Ulcers, Salt Rheum, Fever,
Sores, letter, Chapped Hands, Chilblains,
Corns, and all SKIN Eruptions, and posi-
lively cures Piles, or no pay required. II
is guaranteed to give perfect satisfaction
OF money refunded. Price % cents pei
box. For sale by b. Schmitt.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-08-17
Is IL Perfectly Safe

Under all conditions, and never disap-
points tho user. We refer to MinOvs
Den iirice-tho safest and best prepare
tion Tor the teeth and gums ever offered ,
Prevents decay, hardens the guns, and IS
perfection in a bottle, for y cents. Sold
every where
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-08-17

Mr.. George harlan, a well-known
and highly respected citizen Of
Stanton an extypo and Mexican
veteran, a devoted Methodist, and
a faithful public servant, died on
Monday night OF last week-aged
81 years.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-08-17

The President yesterday appoint
ed Maj. Gen. John N. Scofeld to
the command of the United States
army. This distinguished solder
is held in high esteem by the coun'
try at large. His military genius
is surpassed only by bis private
virtues.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-08-17
Masonic NOIIce,

Cassla Lodge, No. l42, Fla N, meets IN
Masonic Hall, Woodstock, the last Mon
day night of each month.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-08-17

Won Moltke, the great German
General has been put on the re.
tired list.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-08-17
SD a M 300 p m 3.O9 p m

ItdVt =.
Woodstock, SD M sop m 3.OS pm
Arrive
Harrisonbrg e.l9 " 43I boz
Stanton lib 10
Lexington 9.31
No. 447, freight, leaves Woodstock 800
D m. Arrives at liarrisonburg 1905 = m.
No. 449 leaves Woodstock ll.5l N.
Arrives at Harrisonburg 2.l5 p. m.
Trains 449 and $50 Sunday Onlyi all
other trains daily, except Sunday.
Train 400 connects at East Lexington
with r. d A. X. X. for Lynchburg and
Richmond. Arrive at Lynchbnrg 1910 p
m, Richmond Z am.
All trains carry passengers.
CHAS. O. SCULL, Gen. Pass. Agt.
w NJ. CLEMENS. General Manager.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-08-17
NcHEDULE B. & o. r. r.
~
Taking Effect April 20, 1883.
TRAINS.

NORTH BOUND.
No. 4I6 No. 40 No. 4le
TRAINS. Freight. Pass ger. Freight.
Leave
Woodstock, 9.35 m ll.22 N S.V9 I'M
Arrive
Harp's Ferry 5.22 p N 2.O4 p m 9'of
Washington AID
Baltimore $50
Philadelphia $50
No. 4l4, Freight, leaves Woodstock COZ
p. m. Arrives at Harpers Ferry III a. N.
No. $50 leaves Woodstock GAO p. III
Arrives at Harpe's Ferry l0.5Op. N.
SOUTH BOUND:
No. 4I3 No. 400 No. AS
TRAINS. Freight. Pass'ger Freight.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-08-17

Leave
Woodstock,
Arrive
HarD'a Ferry
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-08-17

NORTH BOUND.
No Ai6 No. 40 No. ~
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09
A Neat Bit of Evasion.

Not bad example Of an ambiguous answer
is reported to the Listener by a northern tour
ist, as coming from the pilot OF steamboat
on the Georgia coast The tourist, who Is a
Yankee and was a Union soldier, was en-.
gagged in an easy conversation with the pilot
in moment Of the iatter's relaxation, and
the pilot told him certain war "reminiscences
of an interesting character, without, bow
ever, directly intimating that he had any
personal part in them So the Yankee asked,
point blank:
(Which side were you on during the warp
The pilot gave him glance which seemed
to say, "You are too inquisitive," and then
answered:
Il was on the other side"
Then he changed the subject Of converse.
ton The northern visitor IS still speculat-
ing as to which the 'other side" was; the
other side from the questioner's. the other
side from the side Georgia was on, the other
side Of the ocean or the other side Of the
Canadian border.-Boston Transcript.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09
Tobacco Market.
RICHMOND, VA, May 3

RICHMOND, Va, May 8
The market remains almost feaiureless
to-day, with offerings of such a monde
script character MS to be useless TO report.
Our largest receivers of planters dark
tobacco report that they only expect small
receipts and look for barely one fourth of
dark tobacco on planters hands, and that
not so good as that which has been al
ready sold The Western market for
darks of all kinds continues active and
higher. Kentucky has had good plant
ing season, and in week planting will
begin. Bremen, Germany, will enter the
Zoll-Verein In October, by which duty
equivalent to ten cents per pound will be
levied on foreign tobacco, and five cents
will be kept on the home product.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09
A Ready Answer.

Flake is IA bright eyed little girl in LIE
Drot park, and she has the bad habit Of
sucking her thumb. The other morning her
mother was combing her hair and Flake. as
usual. had her thumb in her mouth.
Flake, Flaxie," reproved her mother,
don't do that. What would you do if that
thumb should come OFF,
suck tb'other one, mamma" replied the
incorrigible, coolly, and paralyzed her
mother. - Washington Critic.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09
FINANCE AND COMMERCE
New York stock Market.

Reported by q. w. Branch y Co. bahfe"
and brokers. No. I'LL Main street
REVIEW.
New YORK, May s.-The opening
was unchanged from Mondays closing
but almost Immediately London began
selling, and the traders hammered the
general list. st. Paul was sold by Chi
capo. Boston sold Union Pacific, but
was reported buying New England
These were the only features until tue
street learned that quarter million GOA
n al bt en- ordered for shipment by Ieadlng
German house Thisrenewed the selling
sentiment All sorts of stories were cir
cula,ed about Reading II was claimed
that the 4 per cent. bonds had been
placed, but as Mr.. Morgan and associates
are already in London or en- route tnere,
the street seemed 10 regard the sltua-
ton in Reading az rather uniayorahle
Some Of the fancies were quite weak
Richmond Terminal sold off at one per
cent Oh small trading. /, Is heHeVeh
that the control has now been secured,
and tina, there is no cause for further
buying. The bears sold considerable
lines Of stocks on The declines They
claimed the deliveries in Reading, the
yilliards, and other stocks showed
conclusively that insiders were unload
ing. and that in addition the forthcom-
ing staremen, on Lake Shore will be big
disappointment To the street. Last trans
actions showed a continuance of the
selling sentiment Richmond Terminal
led the declines, but the other stocks
were all soft. Sterling is fairly steady,
$4.e7 to 81 80. Money easy, closed at 2
per cent.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09

He-I see that old Mr.. Bently was buried
yesterday.
Wife thocked)-Why, Is old Mr.. Bently
deadl
He twho has just been "sat upon'1-Ths
paper doesn't say whether be is dead or not;
simply that be was buried yesterday. Life.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09
Died In Harness.

First New Yorker-Whati Starved TO
DEATH thought there was plenty Of work
now for all.
Second New Yorker-He was not out of
work. He had regular occupation.
my starsi What att"
COLLECTING subscriptions for monuments
and other patriotic objects n-Omaha World
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09
lie Knew.

Mamma" said the sweet small boy before
admiring friends, 81 knew as soon as came
in there was folks vistin' here"
did you, darlingf' said the fond mother,
trying to wilt him with her eye; "how did
you known
"Oh, you had your company voice on."-
Detroit Free Press.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09
Popular Opinion.

A preacher began ais address to a Sunday
school thus: Now. children, am going to
take text out of the Bible | always find
when preach that the text ia the best part
of my sermon. Isn't that SO, my dear chill
drenf" And all the children shouted: "Yes,
sir: that's soi" And those enjoyed the joke
most who had heard the preacher oftenest--
Religious Herald
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09
Evolution Of a Driver.

Citizen-Im surprised to find that you have
become such careful driver. Jake. You
used to be the most reckless teamster on the
streets You ran into half dozen differ
ent carriages to my certain knowledge
Teamster-Im drivin mighty light
wagon now, an it's me own Omaha World
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09
The Weary Hours of Sickness.

Young Victor, who had been for three
weeks lying i'll with pneumonia, asked ono
day to see his overcoat. IL was brought out
with no little wonderment by his mother.
Hang it on the foot of the bed, won't you,
mammal" he asked.
Yes, my boy, if you wish it, but why do
YOU want TO have 1t out heref
"Just to look at it, mamma It's been
such long time since I've seen it."-Boston
Transcript
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09
THE YOUNG PEOPLE.
A Youthful Mind Which Deived INTO
Natural Philosophy.

A Youthful Mind Which Detved INTO
Natural Philosophy.
A young scholar. taking his first lessons 10
natural philosophy. bad the existence OF
animalcuI@, the minute creatures, too Small
to be seen with the naked eye, which are TO
be found in liquids. explained to him After
the lesson he was asked to tell what animal
culB we're.
They are animals that you cant see," be
said.
"Well, that may do for an answer" said
the teacher. Nov. will you give me an ex'
ample of animalcuiDf"
THE hippopotamus, the gorilla the
whalop--
"Stopi What makes you think those AMI
mails are animalcular
"Cause never saw one Of 'eml"-Youth's
Companion
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09
In the Nursery.

Johnnie-Mamma, wasn't Adam the first
mani
Mother-Yes, and Eve was the first
woman.
Johnnie-Didn't they have any papa and
mammal
Motber-No, dear.
Johnnie-Was they orphans, mammal
Washington Critic.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09

President-Ya, Mr Snapper. the faculty
have decided that you have broken the rules,
and there u no courss for Us but to suspend
you
Student-Hm, how about suspending the
rulssi-New Haven NewA
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09
For All Seasons.

Countryman ito furniture dealer,-I want
to get a bed an a mattress
Dealer-Yes, sir; spring bed and spring
mattress, | s'pose, sirf
Countryman-No; | want the kind that
can be used all the year around. Epoch
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09

JOSEPH +. MlNGFIELD. dealer W lantf
and all kinds 90 uouitiugs uul ler.u
building furnishings 1911. lumber ut
order Office, corner 70 BtoaIH.I talr-
streets Richmond. Va.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09

ADAM DIACONT. 2O, t. Marsha. 81.
Wholesale and retail. kcphrnr ul.f t.i
promptly done
r r. lSEWH tREN~HAN. go i..tt To
street. mattress maker AMI up
wholesale and retail Repairing d.
durAhIY done.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09

J. ". TRAYSEK ia, T.. Main street Hu.-
sale and retail. Proprietor "a fub-ri .- N.
inal Nerve and Bone Lln.mcut.
h.. p. REEN l.. u2 East MARSHAL. %.
Duyal a NortOu'- Horse I0u.> Polo. .'.r
pepsla Remedy. a..
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09

A. {. HOUSTON. 5d T.. Main stfo.t
JOSEPH l.. WlNGfIELD. corner 40 lale
and Broad streets.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09

Mrs. \. J. PYLE. 80 y. Flthstroat. it
e.eanlnR, securing, ana carpet r..
Nnnutacturcr OF the Acme RsuOat.f.
Mrs. II. BANNlSTER. SIS H. RraI .....
Lace curtains IA specially.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09

Once. so l.U Nurt1 Lighth street, fUHar.
Zee 90 cure colds, caHrfh. uni uU IeHI .U1
throat troubles. Free test given af .f..
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09
Marble Worke4s


WALLEN 4 WRAT. Seventh anl 0a..
streets. Monuments. tomhs. marile.zl lltl
ties. &c.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09
Country Produce

n. WALLERsTINE 4 CO., D aui ! e.ff
teeuth street. Potatoes, butter bon.
iaIe, g..
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09
The Universal.

Inc universal
Minnie-Papa, what Il Volapukl
Papa-Why. it's the universal language
Minnie-But who speaks III
Papa-Nobody. -Bipghamton Republican
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09
ftafrte-

AlRFIELD DAIRY uOuncriy Westa.l. 81
y. seventh street, ana DO b. Nia 7'r
Fresh mis. cream. hutteI butter u' 1868
cheese.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09

WALTER J. TODD. flb y. Sixth street. t..
elgnmcnts ot couutri produce SOLICITED.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09

". NICK REDFORD ltm b. Main .f-..-
sign of the Horse. ManulucuierAnI aI...-
sale dealer.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09

= G.. HIGH ls2s f.. Nam street Watera,.9,
lcwCry neatly repaired.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09

CITY BOTTLlNG HOUSE. &C., ~. BE-.
street. Manufacturers OF Vanilla 90
and mineral waters.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09
Contractors sasi iBaildeos

+. \. GkASBERGER. 1915 T.. Fuubiu street
All work guaranteed.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09
Cnrpcnter- nnh Enllhnr-


WILLIAM e.. FULLER. lllO r.. Cary str.0t
Special attention 20 repairing
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09

RICHMOND STEAM BAKERY. RAJ.
proprietor II :. Twelfth street Who...
and retail.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09
BANK STOCKS.
Grain and Cotton Exchange

RICHMOND A., iaS O
OFFERINGS REPORTED TO SECRETARY
Wheat. 900 bushels.
Corn.-35i bushels.
Oats. 81, 500 bushels
Mill Otfal ID tons.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09
Harness and Sa,itl.r,

\. .. CLARK r " SON, 1870 East NIn ,i.
gents for imperiai chilled p.nw-.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09

JOSEPH DELAkUE. l3 3. Maustr.
hanging and general machine lDgI .
Models for patents.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09

lOliN j. dEhiNG. coruorol Fourteenth .I
Main streets. Tents. awnings. ua.. horse ans
wagon covers.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09

x. TEASDALE. 1918 =. Ma,a street %
$50 81 mems and - and u.s. ai..
shoes.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09

W ALTER T.. BRAUE Err. star 30 D. pr..
Market. Smoked hCoi-tOugues Rsloc..tt
Candy Manufacturer.
OLIVER -. DYER. Glt T. MsrshaH .rre,,
wholesale and retail. Sole agent Coz tre
Cherokee sOugh Drops.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09

}. T. JUSfiS, g y. Fifteenth stree, ,..
agent. Established ISIS
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09
RAILROAD BONDS.
Richmond stock Market.
RICHMOND. Va, May :.

Reported by John l.. Williams & Son,
bankers all brokers. I'LL Ma street
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09
SALES REPORTED TO SECRETARY

Wheat-Mixed, ia bushels prime at CSC
46 bushels very good AT csc.
Corn.-Whiie, 29i bushels paine at 6o.c
60 bushels very good at s.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09
DIRECTORY
or RELIABLE
BUSINESS HOUSES.

ne Directory 6eLoin Of reliable ami g,5 Z
BUSINESS houses, gtcin0 their kcat,on an
business, rtU be tound Gerry uSettA Is Il s,i,r,.
2f reference FIR i1torn.aston relr.tpe ~
and al the different branches Of 5usine.
Analytical Chemist.
Or. HENRY FROELfNO, lis. Tw.lftt .t,....
chemist 70 Chesapeake and Ohio and H.I
mond and Allegheny railroads. Special 4,
tenton to ores and mineral waters.
Architects.
NJ. J. Dl MMOCK, Il9 r.. Main street. t..
respondenco solicited.
Btrber-
WILLIAM II. GARDNER. SIS / .
street. Hair cutting, dyeing .hsvf.
shampOong.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09
Paints, Oii-. sc.

RICHMOND PAINTS STORE. Z. Broad tn
Paints. Oi, glass, and painters supplies.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09

streets. Monuments. tomhs. mari-e.1l lli-
ties, &c.
Mattress Manufacturer
ADAM nIACONT, 20, h. Marshal ,'
Wholesale and retail. kcparur neatly a.i
promptly done.
r. r. ,SEMH CRENsHAW. $40 l.t nr
street. matfres. maker AMI up
wholesale and retail Repairing b.
durably done.
Mineral water Bottlors.
CITY BOTTLlNG HOUSE. &C., IS. e,
street. Manufacturers Of fanii2 ri
and mineral waters.
Paints, OILS. sc.
RICHMOND PAINT STORE. : L. Broad ln
Paints. Oil'. glass, and painters supplies.
Paper Hanging:
:. j. DAVIS, p y. Ninth street sla
awnings. oil-cloths. ana pApe. hanging
FLANDERS. oa- and steam Filters
B. r. BEDFORD. 1910 T.. Main street Pnca
cal plumber, timer, gas ami steam n'ttf
T. {. rlNsLEY. az BrOokayonue. steam al9
gas fitting, thinning, &c.
Railroad Ticket Broker
CRAWFORD a HAYES. lU8 Et Na0
street Railroad and stclmiaat t-4tt {.
all parts VI the world bought N.i aa'
exchanged.
Real Estate Agents
A. j. BRADLEY x CO.. Thirteenth ani Hlh
streets. Manchester. Agent Tor tLc feieis
buss savings and Insurance COMPANY
q. = NAsHOk \ son. 30. =. TENN street.
X. Is. CHAFFlN x co, No. y. ltntl sIirs-
J. THOMPSON BROWN eco iii' L. NAE
street.
Rubber Goods;
VIRGINIA RUBBER CO.. 5l3 T. Broad street
4. tf- a.. AfHA. Cd FlsNUHF .
Rubber stamps
ATLANTIC RUBBER STAMP MAJ "a
TURING Co, l2l7 l.. Main So. NaA4l'@
turers and importers Of -tamp now .p.
OLD DOMINION ri HBkk-o 4ADI inn,
80 Bank street. Agents wanted -'n' ''
Sign Painting;
ID. :. THOMPSON, Franklin street. under ~
change Hotel. Advertising SGD a'~''
Board fence and wal sign,a specially
+. LIPSCOMB. No. - y. Ninth street $50
painting and gliding on glass.
soap Factory
X. GARCIN x Co. 1885 Fmnslin street SAY
hshed $500. Toilet and Laundry 'osp''
Tsilors
T ". stage. Twelfth street. under Amefo''
Hotel. Civic and military tA.of
Und.rtsker.:
B. II. MORRIsETT. No. u seyen.h SUE.
Manchester. Phone. 80.
Wire Mattre-s.- and Cots
" LOWE. 22lf +. Main street, m.l..H-.-
rer of Champion woven WIZ 49,,
and Cots The test and cheapest I'D iD' '--
ket.
Wood and Coal ...s
ELBA COAL YARD lEiba station, - a.
ana pine streets ". :. Pitcher iseal'
Kinds Of Cos. wooi soi CoSe'
pbDue. "a.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09
Me steady

Quotations Kidding. sac. low mttdllng
&c, good ordinary. sac
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09

Reported by q. W. Branch y Co. hahhef'
And brokerp. No. Ill Main street.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-05-09

:. j. DAVIS, p y. Ninth street sla
awnings. oll-clOths. ana pApe. hanging
FLANDERS. oa- and steam Filters
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1888-08-23
Tremendous Internal Fires.

A Cincinnati despatch of August LIST
says: Ernest Weissenbaur, professor
of geology in Heidelberg university, is
here on visit of scientific inspection
to the natural gas wells of Findlay.
He says he found the vastness of the
gas well country greatly underestimate
ed and that underneath the town OF
Findlay, at great depths, lay mighty
cavern filled with highly inflammable
gas under tremendous pressure. He
connected some very delicate tele-
phones with steel rods sunk in the
earth through the shaft of the well, to
a distance far below it. He heard the
boiling of the rocks plainly accom-
panied by cracking sounds. He found
that at a distance of only one mile be-
meath the great gas cavity, which lies
under Findlay, a fire was raging at a
temperature of $500 degrees. The pro-
lessor seems to think an early catas-
trophe not only possible but probable.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1888-08-23
SQUIBS.

When a cat gives an entertainment
from the top of a wall, it isn't the ca
we object to, it's the waul.- Keene
| IN. H. Sentinel.
"Were you troubled with ennui al
sea 2" he asked airily. "Well," said
the Chicago girl, 'T was at first, but
cracked ice relieved me very much
-[Ocean.
First Lady-Have you any hired
help now Second Lady-Well, half
and half, say. First LADY, don't
understand, quite. Second Lady
Why, you see, it is hired, but it is no
Observation-Disclosures Critic.
Mother-Daughter, didn't hear Mr..
Jenkins kiss you last night when he
went awayq Daughter-Yes, mamma
but it was against my will. Mother
What WASP Daughter-Your hearing
it, mammal Washington Critic.
Customer Ito fruit seller)-"How
much for the plums, Aunty 2" Aunty
-"Penny apiece, sah." Customer
Can't you let me have four for five
cents 2" Aunty-"No, sab dem plums
cost mon dat."--[ Epoch.
MT. Fercy SuVertOn (Wno has had
his highly valued though unpromis-
ing mOustache removed -"See, Julie
l have had my moustache cut offr'
Miss Julie Styles (his fiancee-"Oh,
pshaw why did you tell me7 WANT
ed to find it out myself !"-[ Puck.
They were telling Sunday school sto-
ries, and one lady said: "Last Sunday
my daughter, who is 5 years old, had
a sort of reviewing lesson, in the
course of which she was asked, 'Who
was the wicked King that ordered the
slaughter of all the male children in
Judea p The answer did not come
readily. She knew it began with 'H.'
'Oh 1 know she cried, Harrison p"
Irish woman Ito Chinaman in street
car)-"ShOve yersilf feminist the earn
or wild yer blue shir-rt, and give led
dy a chance to set down, bad cess to
yez !" Chinaman-"Wow! !" Irish
Woman-"Can't yez talk English, We
yallar haythen 2" Chinaman-"If 1
couldn't talkee English muchee BEETLE
old Ilish woman, yep, shootee my
grandmothle."-[N. Y. Sun.