Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1888-02-07
FULL OF FUN.

. AN exchange says: 'Nevcr e
as into the water after hearty meal.
9t- We don't We go to the Yestauran
III after it, Philadelphia Call.
~ Robbie - Mamma, doesn't
he make your hands warm to spank meP'
We Mamma-"Wh yes, Robbie, it does.
to Robbie Wouldn't it do just as wei
l then, mamma, for you to go and hold
lg 'om over tho rcgisterP" Burlington
Free Press
lie -High-school Girl Jennie. do you
ut still believe in Columbus rs tho dis
re- covcrcr of American" Jennie-'I
l. don't know and. l don't care; I've
J. been bored to death about it. I'd just
as Left think it was N orseman rs an
Italian. "-BOSLOn Beacon
Have you heard of how Bill
hoover is attempting to rival DR.
TannerP Hasn't eaten any thing for
twenty days" SIS that SOP He used
10 be n perfect glutton." Eyes, but |
his wife does the cooking for the O. Son I
| ia, novv - itacaI.. -'.''ify my Soh
ny now wv. soy demanded IN old gem I
Ieman of clergyman who had just
united his runaway scapegrace IN the |
holy bonds. Two dollars, SIR" +
meoklY replied tho dominic. 'to be a
charged TO You. "-Binqhanlton Re-
publican.
An American tourist was offered
n shillOlch for shilling. That's the
thing we pay the rent With" OBJ
served the dealer. Chestnut said
the American. mo; it's blackthorn,"
responded the Celt.-Pack.
-"oh,. mar' exclaimed little girl
in tho horse car, Just look at that
mani What n dirty FACET "'Shi
Kitty" replied ma; perhaps the
gentleman has an antipathy to cleanli-
ness. We must always respect the
feelings OF Others.
-She-'James, do you know you
put three buttons on the plate in
church to-dayp" He-"I knew what
was about" She-"James-. per
haps you don't know that bought
those buttons yesterday for my new
dress and paid fifty cents apiece for
thcm."- IVaverly Magazine.
Kansas City Man-"Why, our city
is so crowded with strangers anxious
to invest in real estate that it takes
man fifteen minutes to walk n block"
/ Omaha Man-"Oh, that's nothing The
streets of Omaha arc SO jammed that
the ladies have been compelled to give
up wearing bustles." - Harper's
Bazar.
), Two weighs of getting rich. -
a The man who robs you on the road,
A highwayman is hc
The grocer giving you low weight,
low-weigh man was he.
= lid Bits
: IAN unfortunate mistake occurred
in last week $ edition, "plaintively NUT
ters n Custer County paper. 1--WE re-
ferrcd to Mr. Taken. candidate for
sheriff on the opposition ticket as q
rough -hewn diamond 1t should
have been ruflianly demon We trust
our readers will forgive tho mistake"
I -Omahd Bee
-"Ah, dearest" sighed n young
, man, kneeling at the feet of his ownest
} own, "dost thou know what of all
, things Is nearest to my hearth"
} "Really, can't say" she sweetly re-
} piled, "but in this cold weather l
should think it was flannel shirt"
She was too practical, and it broke tho
engagement.
An old woman unable to read, on
receiving letter from an absent son,
asked friend to read it TO her. The
writing was so bad that the friend.
hardly able to make it out, read stam-
mcringly: Dear mot--mother, IL
ta-tke"-whereupon the old woman
cried out, gleefully: "It's from dear
Jamie, sure enough! Ii always stIt-
teredP'-M y Ledger.