The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1888-03-17

ihS Vh"e hC was CVuoiucfuDiy III
terested In flowers, and intended
that day to plant some "Christian
anthems" He meant chrysanthe-
NUNS.
As the act drop fell, Mrs. Galatine
fixed her eyes on it and studied 1t
curiously. "You seem to be enjoy
ing the drop" remarked her hus-
band. "T am" "Well, I think I'll
enjoy one myself" And he softly
stole out.
A six-years-old boy, whose father
is musician, was very restless the
other night. and couldn't go to
sleep. Finally, as last resort, he
called out: "Papa, please play your
cornet; that always makes me
tiredp
Young man Ito messenger boy):
"What did the young lady say when
you gave her the flowers" Mes
senger boy; "She asked the young
fellew who was sittion' on the porch
with her if he didn't want some for
a buttonhole bouquet"
Husband: "What are you read
ing, my dear, that you seem so seri-
ous?" Wife: saturday Night
Thoughts in this afternoons pa
per-" Husband: "By Jove; that re-
minds me that / must order case
of beer for tomorrow"
"Mamma," said little Johnny,
looking up with q thoughtful ex-
preston on his countenance. "Well,
DEAR" said mamma. "Mamma, why
do you tell me you'll give me
good whipping sometimes? I can't
see anything good about it."
A Harvard professor has made
the calculation that if men were
really as big as they sometimes feel
there would be room in the United
States for only two professors, three
lawyers, two doctors, and reporter
on Philadelphia paper.
Things one would rather have
left unsaid-She: mo, l can't give
you another dance. But Tll intro
duce you to the prettiest girl in the
ROOM" He: "But 1 don't want to
dance with the prettiest girl in the
room. I want to dance with you."
"My dear, why are the eggs al
ways hard at breakfast now ?" ask
ed Mr.. Snaggs. "They must be eggs
of the new hens" replied Mrs.
Snaggs, thoughtfully. "The new
hens. Why should their eggs be
hard ?" "They are Plymouth Rocks
you know"
Blobson Indignantly: "I declare,
that band is trying to play! l would
like to kick myself for subscribing
to the thing" Mrs. B., rushing to
the window: "No, tain't the band!
It's Sprigg's tin peddler's cart. The
horse is running away"
Fond mother to visiting: eyes,
every one seems to think he looks
like his papa; now do you. Mr..
Fitzgibbon ?" Fitzgibbon, (conso-
lingIy): swell, yes; but, indeed, 1
wouldn't allow that to annoy, me,
if 1 were you, considering he is
sound in every other respect"
why are you SO cold and dis
tant to night, dear?" he asked.
"Have 1 offended you in any way 2"
fAll is over between us, George"
replied the girl firmly. ~ cannot
trust my future to a man who pos
sesses such wretched judgment. 1
saw you umpire game of base ball
to-day"
Tenderfoot: "I'm new at the
game, you know. Can I open the
jack pot on the right bower and
lady card? ?" Arizona Jack: "It has
been done, my friend but you want
to be sitting right on the edge of an
open grave, and have back slant
besides, when you undertake to try
it,"
"Have you ever been in SPRING
field, Ohio, Mr.. Sharpedge?" ?" She
asked of commercial traveller in
the hardware line. "Oh, yes" "It's
a beautiful town, is it not ?" "Beau-
tiful town!,' he repeated, with some
disgust. ~ have never succeeded
in selling bill of goods there yet"
A countryman stopped in front
of a store on Fourteenth street, at
tracted by line of baby carriages.
"How much might one of them be ?"
he said to a clerk. "The cheapest is
SIS, sir" "Fifteen dollarsw he ex-
claimed. "Why, great Scott, mis-
ter; it only cost me 50 to git mar
ried."
"That'll be 95 cents" said the tel
egraph operator to the travelling
man who had just sent message.