The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-07-22
BRIGHT BITS.

SOLOMON IsAAcsrEIN." cried mis- wife in
alarm, dot little Jacob has swallowed a 10
cend piece"
Vat" exclaimed Mr. Gsaacstein, "a 1O-cend
piece?' Der neXdt time you gif dot poy moneys
10 blay mt, kebecca, you gif him !cend
piece. "-NeW York san.
A MORNING CONTEMPORARY states that the Rev.
John A Brooks, the prohibition vlce-preslden-
tai nominee, is "a preacher of the Christian
denunciation in Kansas CITY" We always
knew that Kansas City was a hard town, but had
not heard that it employed preachers to de-
nounce christianity Minneapolis Journal
MINISTER (ndly)-Ive been wanting to see
yon, Mr.. Kurd, in regard to the quality of milk
with which you are serving me.
Milkman uneaSilyb--Ies, sir.
Minister very mildly)-E only wanted TO say,
Mr. kurd, that use the milk for dietary pur-
poses exclusively, and not for christening.
NelO York sun.
NEWSPAPER CANvAssER a few years hence)-
Don't you want TO subscribe for the DAILY CiuH-
izerp
American citizen No, I've got no use for
newspapers.
Don't see how that can be s.
WHY, you see have A private wire of my
own TO the base ball grounds. '-OHlGhd World
YoUSa Mr.. HocKrNG Cat Cincinnati soiree
mSicale)-Prof. Beirstadt seems to be at his
best tonight, Miss Overther1ne.
Miss Overtherine fIe is divine, adorable!
Mr.. Hooking You are fond of music?
Miss Overtherine -PasSionately, Mr. Hooking
enjoyment until my sausage is quite cold
NeiO York Sun.
FIRST New YORKER read a very interesting
article yesterday in magazine.
Second New GOrker-Nhat was 1t about!
1T was entitled, Why Judas Iscariot Hanged
Himself"
IF the courts were constituted then as they
are now, there wasn't much mystery about it.
He probably became tired of waiting for the
law to take its courSe,-I"rdS SUttHgS.
IL tIa window of a ctnY, in Nacbire,to, ic
played a handkerchief emhaZoned with stars at
top and bottom for the states and territories
with a small Gag stamped upon it and the in
scription: "ProteCtlOn to American labor and
American industries. Appended is this card:
Republican handkcrchefs, indorSed by the
chairman Of the Chicago convention. The only
authorized campaign handk !rchief. Imported
Chinese silk. boston Herdid.
AMENITIES of Life in New Jersey.-Brown-
Well. as was saying, III try to get down to see
you swat got him that time-neXt Saturday
Jones -Do-swat- hold on, let me belt that
other one on your ear-swat-and bring Mrs.
Brown and the children.
Astonshed Partisan mot yet acquainted with
our national Bird Sacred name of a little tin
canister! Is this, then, the boxing match SO
famous-or when fights one the duely-Puck.
THIS DIALOGUE occurred recently between q
State street lady and an applicant for the posi-
tiOn of scrub woman:
Applicant Ccourt,syng)-I hear your ladyship
is IN need of an assistant in the washroom?
"WhO sent you TO mel' asked the mistress;
'who recommended your
Applicant \ lady who lives on your block.
"What is the name of this lady who recon-
mcnded you?"
Sure it was Mrs. O'Kelly, who is a foine
cook in the kitchen of your ladyShip's neighbor,
Mrs. 1ibany Journal
STATISTICAL SECRETARY GEORGE J. HoBDAy is
trying to ascertain the value Of the church
property held 10y the Baptist churches of Nir-
giuia, and to that end has sent out his blank
forms What is the value Of your church
property is one of his quest ions, and the next
is, Has the church any other propertyf'' One
church rcple, TO the first question. "S4O:" and
to the second, Yes, We have a pitcher and a
tin cup" His best friends Of the opinion
that il is not probable that Brother HOLIDAY will
| ever again inquire into the earthly possessions
of that little Baptist church.-Richmond Re
| hgiOuS Herald