The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1888-03-16
THE AUTOGRAPH ALBUM,


rmust be an eminent man. or peo-
ole would not write me so many let
tiers, tell me all their private affairs.
ask for large loans without security.
10 be faithfully repaid in a few weeks.
and bcsecch my interest for Charles
and Mary. who are young and gifted.
and need only an opportunity 10
asionish the world. Above all. they
would not food me with autograph
albums. in which ! am expected TO
write a quotation or a characteristic
sentiment" When this popularity
was fresh. l used to take some pleasure
Id signing my name 10 honcycd phrases
from the poets. 1 bcsoughr Heaven 70
rain sweet odors on ladies 1 had never
seen. and l assured gentlemen with
whom ! had not the slightest acquaint-
ance that l wore them in my heart Of
hearts. The result was that the
albums came in shoals BY every post.
Some Of them were small. and got mis-
laid. Others were large. and demand
ed an impossible physical effort to re-
turn them. Many were without the
names and addresses Of the owners.
snd these. Of course. were con
panied By notes. which ! st~raightway
lost requesting the utmost prompti-
tude Of compliance. In . few days
came indignant misSves expressing
surprise that any one calling himself a
gentleman could treat with silent
neglect a volume which contained the
autographs Of people 50 much more
eminent than himself. Then there was
: touch Of sorrowful rcmonstranccs.
\ 4 possible that you refuse to grant
2 simple 4 request from q delicate girl
who has 20 spend the winter in Flori-
a. far from her friends. and has
nothing to console her but the sigma
lures Of the distinguished people she
ADM, -" What earthly comfort
there could be in my Grabbed and IL
icgiblc hand TO an invalid in Florida !
never could imagine. Then there was
= pleasant intimation that some noted
a mine had ZEN his autograph
win alacrity. thus showing his intel
iecfnal and moral superiority 10 me.
worse than this was m encounter in a
strret-car with a lady who said: -
'hink You are the celebrated Mr.. Fitz.
phosphorus" MADAM ! said. you
are mistaken" She gave me a frccz-
ing look. and next day l had a letter
declaring that the writer knew at last
why her book had not been returned.
ior q man who could lie 50 unblushv
ingly would probably steal.
Up 70 this time l had borne these
am ciicns with exemplary weakness.
took IL for granted that when d mar
J. famous he becomes the lawful prey
q people who think hat as they have
made his reputation. The least he ear
% for them i 10 sit signing auto
graph albums all day. The popular
formula, lcvclcd ut him like = pistol,
seems to be something like this: 1--WE
tny your books. Or your pictures. W.
pay 20 see you act. or hear you sing,
o. watch your gambols on the flynn
'rapczc. therefore your cminencc ans
Your fortune are due 10 US. and ",
demand that You shall chain yourself
% the autographs pen like the galley
slave 70 the oar. There i nothing il
Your handwriting that Il essentially
beautiful or yirtlY4s. but il plcascs q.
y have your sign-manual In our book
y q proof Of your bondage 70 thos'
Who made you" For a long time
accepted this decree as tho penalty o
success. but the lady Of the strcct-ca
reused me 70 revolt. 1T Il my mis-
fortune to Be- eminent" l said 70 INV