The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-01
BRIGHT BITS.

MR.. DUsENBERRY you were outrageously
cheated in buying that suit You are too easily
satisfied" Yes, dear, that's what my mother
told me when she heard was going to marry
you. '-DetrOit Free P~eSs.
SnE-Why, where have you beenH
He-At the (hc) club.
She-But surely you didn't get your hat
smashed at the club What club was it.
Hc-The (hic) ploliceman's clu5.-Detroit
Free Press.
GUEST Ito landlortD-Are you sure, landlord,
that this is spring chicken!
Landlord Yes. sir. That chicken is from my
own farm; it was born in March.
GueSt-Oh, that explains 1t. March is tough
month.-Rdrper's Bdz0r
HAPPY YOUNG HusBASD-Belle and get along
amicably Not the slightest coldness has &C
Cured and we have been married almost a
year.
Wise Father-Dld you ever try to match any
trimming for herr
mo, haven't"
Then your experience hasn't commenced
yet. Life.
A SYMPATHETIC HEART-"Can you help me,
sr?' said a tramp to Il Chicago citizen.
well, I dunno" replied the citizen. You
look as though you need all you can get. What
brought you to this sad plight, my frend?'
'It's a long story, sir. In the first place
married st Louis girl, and -
Say no more, say no more, " interrupted the
citizen, with tears of sympathy. Here's s. for
you. The Epoch.
He KNEW THE RoPEs.,-"The bulk of my for
tune ] wish to bequeath TO my scapegrace
ncphew George, said the dying man
-''Why, it only yesterday he called you an
old skinfint," said the lawyer I'D cut the
boy off. "
make the will ont the way tell you. l know
enough about wills to know that if l leave him
all the money he won't get a cent of it,
H0rper's Bdzdr.
I'VE must curtail expenses. said the husband
to his sweet wife.
Indeed and don't sec how any body could
be more saving than am. We've got family
of four of our own and two servants. and yet 1
manage to get along, my dress bills and all
with only a little over 500 a month.
'And get a salary of 800 month"
Well You must get them to raise your salary
You have the enst management about you of
any person | ever saw. Oh, il | only were q
mann Exchange.
AN AMUSING INCIDENT at the Niagara hotel is
vouched for well-known gentleman was re-
CURED to dine with a party from whom ne
wished to escape, as a more important matt er
awaited his attention; but they would not accept
his excuses, and the dinner was waiting. He
had to 20 in, but awaited himself of momentary
opportunity to put up job with waiter to
call him ont. 4 quarter of an hour passed, and
he began to feel uneasy lest the plan should
miscarry, when in came the obliging waiter and
did the thing completely by announcing
There's gentleman calling you by the tele-
phone, sir, and here's his card. Buffalo
Courier.
A cory of America was recently sent to a
clergyman in Il Vermont town The only &C
acknowledgements of this courtesy was a card
from the postmaster follows: There is a
letter in this Office bearing your business card
addressed to the Rcv. ---, deceased. lam I'M
able to deliver the letter If you can supply a
better address, please fill out blank ut the bot
tom Of this card giving the street and number,
occupation OF title, or some cew that will help
the carrier to find his whereabouts" While the
publishers of dmericG would be glad to estab-
lish circulation in either of the other worlds
in the way of their doing 80 there are Difficult
ties which seem insurmoUntable. Chicago
Americd.