Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1888-09-13
SEEKING SUMNER BOARD.

SEEKING SUMMER BOARD.
A Hsnossst.s Advsafurss VIA wasss
views "a His success - . Ffeaehmaa.
At the next place from which had
reoeived q dainty perfumed note. / was
admitted to the house under the man
agement Of the oldest daughter. This
interesting young lady was tall and
court;y. but beamed down upon me
with a kind glance when she opened
the door which at once put me at ease.
She wore gold-trimmed eyeglasses
with little gold chain fastened about
her ear. followed her to the parlor,
where she waved me to chair which
had spiral springs inside of it and cas-
tors on its forward legs. At that time
she would not refer to their water
view, excellent as it was; she would
not touch upon the absence of mos
quitoes, however marked; she would
not for the time being pass the attrae-
tons possessed by their beds, though
it was hard to do SO; she would not
even mention the table, although,
if had mind to listen l could
hear it out in the dining-rOom
groaning and taking on under its
weight of delicacies. No! she would
waive all this for the once and come
to another matter. They did not
keep a clearinghouse. No! l was
in private family. There was
not a boarder in the house, nor
never had been. They could not re-
ceive me and my humble family under
their roof as boarders, but only as
guests - friends of the family.
Er-y-e-s, there would be a pecuniary
consideration. of course-but of that
later on. Not that mamma or she
had any pride in the matter, of course
they were above pride had al
ways been on top of pride in good
shape. but they had just moved to the
place. and I. of course, knew how hard
it would be for them to make much
progress in society if it got noised
abroad that they kept boarders. They
were making a great stab for social
pre-eminence (some of this language
is my ownI and they didn't want to get
slipped up by few paltry boarders.
Nothing was more sad to the mind
than family in strange place and
fiat on its back socially. Now, if l de-
cided to accept of their hospitality she
wanted to arrange it so that it would
be understood that we were old friends
of the family come on special invita-
ton, and the little financial matter
could be settled in the back parlor
late every Saturday night-after the
neighbors had gone to bed. In ad-
vance preferred. She understood that
this was customary in these Err
these clearinghouse, you know.
She said that the family had some
relatives who lived in France, and of
whom they had blown a good deal.
and that she would like to have my
family and me represent them. She
said she supposed we would have no
objections to changing our names
temporarily. 1 could be NJ. Pierre de
Charlevoix and my wife could be Nine.
de Charlevoix. OF course would
want to speak with slight French
accent and hoist my shoulders COCA
sionally when there was anybody
around, and perhaps it would be nec-
essary to ask me to do it all the time,
so wouldn't be apt to forget it when
there were visitors. Nine. de Charlie
voix would, of course, have to speak
with more of an accent than l did.
and as for the children, their English
would need to be suppressed alto
gether, and they would either have
to keep still or make noise that
sounded like French. Very likely
they might learn to make their wants
known by h'isting their shoulders.
They would have to ask me to sit on the
piazza a couple of hours each morning.
looking as much as possible as if was
descended from the first Napoleon and
acting as if l was reading a French
newspaper, which they would furnish.
They would like it if l would challenge
the postmaster to fight duel as soon
as possible And when l was away,
if my wife would only get out in the
hammock and hirt little with sign
painter who lived across the way she
thought it would be more satisfactory
to them. She said if we were willing
to pull even on this thing that they
could have all the neighbOrs wild about
their heightened French kindred inside
of month She added, sort of thought
fully, that physically was not her
ideal of French nObleman, but then
she had frequently read that French
men were degenerating. and probably
would do. Now, if was ready for
the water view. and the bathroom on
the same floor, and for a look at their
hens and Jersey COW, that she would
conduct me. ''Ah!' l replied, "ze
COW, re bon homme critter wis re
horns! BY all means. mademoiselle.