The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1888-09-13
PuNeENT pARAeRAPhs.

PuNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
Eternal vigilance enables man to
carry the same umbrella for years
Boston Courier,
"A woman can't keep a secret, oi
course; vet when there is secret his
tory of any important transaction
woman is usually in it.-Nesc Haueas
NeUs
Popping the question is like pop
ping corn. The popped article wants
to be taken away from the fire imme-
diately and salted while it is warm. -
N. O. Picayune.
-Youngster-sPapa, what is Q rev.
enue cutter?'' Fond parent e., hard
working clerk THE individual who
employs me, my child. He has just re-
duced my salary. Judy.
If there is any thing that will make
gang OF street-corner bummers blush
it is to be told by good-natured po-
liceman to move on there, gentle
men. Fail Rirer AdUa,aee.
"A new song is called my Mothers
Hand.p We suspect 1t is a sequel to
sMamma's Slipper" and when intro
duced among the children " there's
music in the heir. "-Noyristoscrs Herald.
"A Judge threatened to fine a law
yer for contempt of court. .I have ex-
pressed no contempt for the court,
said the lawyer; ION the contrary, !
have carefully concealed my feelings" !"
The man who makes an investment
for the purpose of getting something
for nothing generally succeeds in get
ting something. In addition to getting
left he usually gets little experience.
oil City Blisgard.
"A young lady who has been taking
whistling lessons from a gentleman
friend for the past four months can't
whistle note yet, but she has been
seen in the stationer's pricing wedding
| Invitations Yosskers Statesnian.
Customer (to restaurant proprie-
tori )-.That coffee just had wasn't as
good as my mother used to make, by
long shot, Proprietor Its the best
we can do, sir, at five cents a cup. I
suppose your mother got ten for hers. 4
Epoch.
-Smokeless gunpowder is the latest
addition to the science of war. Now.
let somebody invent q smokeless cigar
ette, and peace will have her victories
no less renowned than war. Boston
Transcript.
When a. lawyer asks witness II ha
Is sure he is telling the truth he conf
| dently expects the man to promptly re-
ply: "No, Sir; / am committing per-
| jury If he did not expect it he would
not ask such 8, silly question. Detroit
Free Press.
People are wrong who think that
women generally object to telling their
age. Most women are always willing
to tell their age whenever they are
asked. The trouble is that they do
not tell the truth about it. -Sonserriltt
Journal.
-..Sir,n said the Judge, II commit
you to jail for ten days for contempt
of COURT BETTER make it ten years
Judge" was the response. II couldn''
begin to get over my contempt in less
than that. M Y. Sun.
Young Mrs. Snapley Ito Snapley
who is walking the hoor with the bah.
at one p. m. )--.Wa alking is healthy ex
ercise, my DEAR Snapley-'I know
it; but there is such thing as beinI
too confoundedly healthy TO appreciat
the other blessings OF life. Bstrting
ton Free Press,
--"What If were one of those hus
: bands, my dear, who get up cross |
! the morning and bang things aroun
E and kick like everything just becaus
/ the coffee is coldp" John" responde
J. his wife. II would make It hot fe
e you.n As her words admitted OF NOR
1 than one Interpretation John said noti
= ing more about the coffee. Time.