The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-29

on my desk, said: ave been an invalid
for many years." in voice that made the
chandelier rattle.
My dear madam" said l, "your fine ap-
pearance might deceive the ordinary
eve, but to us. who read what is within,
your malady is clear Nevertheless. |
yearned for n few points on her system be-
fore making out diagram of her interior,
DOUBTLESS YOU have pains there" | CON
tinued, standing about ten feet away from
her and pointing with finger that way
cred gently over her vast anatomy
"You have hit it exactly said she, lay
ing her hand upon the region of her stom-
ach. This was enough. | had located her
trouble within a radius of not more than
three feet and was ready to proceed with
the trance Seating myself in chair oppo-
site her, l ran my hands wildly through
my hair, rolled my eyes upward, threw my
left thumb out of JOINT with loud snap
and emitted a hollow groan. Then bond
ing, over the table, tapped her ample chest
and said:
II see your left lung
She appeared to regard this statement as
approaching an improperly and for a mo-
ment | feared personal violence, but with
only an instant's pause proceeded;
There's a bunch on it the size of hens
egg. Every time you breathe it strikes
your heart with sickening thud 1t has
already raised a large blister on YOUR left
ventricle and if something isn't done IN a
short time it will knock hole in your laryn-
gial epithalmium and | cannot answer for
the result"
"Great heavens!" she cried, lam as bad
as that" and she really looked thoroughly
scared.
Then l wrote out the usual form, came
out of my trance, and charged her IS. She
settled with Difference that approached
reverence For several weeks thereafter
she was one of my best patients and bust
ness doomed. But there was cloud in the
sky. One day Bogus, the druggist, called
and from his manner l knew that some
thing was up.
What are you up to with her, anyway"
said he. Didn't you know that I've been
shining up to her for the last five years.
don't want you to cut me out OF that $50
600, Do you catch the ideaf'
MY dear sir" said !, do you think that
$4,000 or $50,000,0 900 would induce me to
marry that ancient giantessl don't feel
safe in the same office with her. She's a
bowling cyclone, and though | long for
domesticity | don't want u perpetual earth
quake by my fireside"
That's just the point of it, be said, ''be-
fore you came was doctoring her myself
letting her pick out patent medicine by the
color of the wrappers on the bottles, and in
general way preparing myself for an
early bereavement after I'd got my grip on
the Doodle, but now you come along and
feed her an water, and, by thunder, she'll
live to be a hundred. Even if get her III
get too much of her. This thing won't do"
"You can put her up any blamed poison
you want to-" said l, "my prescription
don't mean anything, and you know it, but
| won't lose the $40 a week I'm making out
Of it, As for my making love to her you
can set your mind at rest on that point.
Pm not stuck on her shape"
'Nor | either" said he, "but--
"Oh, you amt neither of you stuck ON
my shape" said a voice. and Mrs. Blivens
strobe into the room. 1--WE been listening
to you outside the door and I've come in to
get square"
Bogus went under the table and | made
for the window, but an iron hand graspsd
each of us and fight was out of the ques-
ton.
$50 you've been deluding poor, lone
woman, have you," said she, shaking Bogus
till his false teeth fell out.
Its all his fault" said /, but in an in
slant | too was flying about lihe wind
mill. Ny head came in violent contact
with Bogus, and for few minutes all was
q dreary whirl Of legs, arms and clothing
/ neard ner snrlek out something about
cheating an unprotected female, and then
another bump from Bogus head sent me
into the only genuine trance that had ever
occurred in the Office. When | awolte the
cold, calm moonlight was stealing in
through the window. On the floor lay a
bundle which l took to be the remains of
Bogus. Silently packed up my belongings
and stole forth into the night. When the
morning dawned there was a vacancy in
the clairvoyant department of the medical
fraternity in Rochester, and since that cpl
sode Chicago has been good enough for
me