The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-31
BRIGHT BITS.

The gambler most always runs an Ideal bust
ness.-Duluth Pdragrapher.
WHAT the old soldier wants for his wounds is
an Uncle Sam salve that will draw axpenson.
duluth Pa dg,Gpher.
TEACHER-In what battle was Gen. Blank
killed?
Bright Boy-His last one.-Wteslino ItteHi-
QeHcer.
THE average boarding house veal potpie
closely resembles one of Shakespeare's plays,
for the reason that it is much o'dough about
nothlng.-Shoe and Leather Reporter.
Mrs. YuNKUPPLE Why. Reggy, what do you
mean by eating breakfast with your trousers
turned up? 1t isn't raining?
Mr.. Yunkupple-No dear but the coffee looks
awfuIly muddy.-Puck.
THE Patent Office is stuffed full of inventions,
but no one has yet invented a plan by which the
originator OF great invention may be sure of
reaping the reward OF his genius Some other
man generally secures that.-Terds SiftingS.
GUEST Waiter this piece of veal is so tough
| can't cut it,
Waiter You ought to complain to the man
who raised the calf.
IAN right Give me your fathers address -
hooking Bird.
PATRON TO HOTEL CLERK-Just send my break
fast up to my room.
Clerk-We haven't any dumh-waiters in this
hotel.
Maybe not but I've noticed you have some
iAiShlJ ucdl OIIto. -fiOtGt 4uuH.
A SQUARE MtNIsrER-After one or two gentle
efforts on the plrt of the collector to awaken
Deacon Jones, the minister said from the pulpit:
Never mind, Brother Layman, as Deacon Jones
has not heard the sermon, perhaps it would not
he rig to expect him to pay anything for it
Epoch.
Observation-Disclosures are YOU doing now. Sam .
sam amt dom muffin, sab; frowed up my
job las week. had trubbe wifi de boss, an /
jess told him he cuddent fool dis cullud gem
men no mo-. Use independent, l is. An ole
aunt o mine died an lief me twenty-fi' dollahs.
Epoch.
BROOKLYN DENTIST has filed dogs teeth
This is not the first instance on record of dog 8
teeth being filed. Last summer we saw boy
coming out of an apple orchard with a rapid
transit look on his face. He had Just filed the
teerh of the farmers dog with an amagam
made up of equal parts of cloth and fresh meat
-NOrIcich Bulletin.
This is queer-looking building isn't itg''
he asked, stopping in front of a house on La
tayette square,
Yes; it is quite odd and quite old, she re-
piled, evincng much interest.
us it old?"
so, yes; very Old. can remember WIENER
-er-have you ever noticed Mr. De Smith
what beautiful streets we have in Washington p
Washington cutie.
WHAT do you think darling mamap Little
Tommy and have been playing getting mar
riedY'
Yes, and how did you manage it?'
well! you see laid the table anG we sat
down. Then he tasted something and said it
wasn't fit for dog to eat and threw his nap
kin on the floor. Then said he was a fool
and then he Swore awful and left the ROOM and
called him "a brute! Judge.
Mr.. CAIAY-'Look here, Mr. Daily. Just met
MIR, Ially and he informs me that you told him
the other day that was man that wasn't to be
trusted"
Mr. Dally-"Did he tell you that?"
He did sir"
Then, sir, it appears that he is man that is not
to be trusted and am glad to find it out Yes
sir, glad. If | had known. sir, that he was that
kind Of man never would have told him that
yOu were not to be trusted. Never, Mr. Cally;
never sir, never. Good day, Mr. Cally"9
Boston Courier.