St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-02-13

. N SW CIW be- be- actual Der r.
sonal experience, hearsay kisses and
rthelr results, or some vague chimera of
"a cl0uded brain, Is difficult to decide.
After the elaborate dissertation recently
published in the Enquirer on Kentucky
kisses, the subject would seem eX-
hausted, but just at present the merits
OF an electric kiss are being considered,
and must be settled ere this beautiful
frosty weather slips into the clutches of
rainy spring.
Where is the man, or woman either,
who has not in some sentimental period
OF his life enjoyed reading a good love
story, and has caught himself wonder
ing over the passage: He clasped her
TO his heart and an electric kiss betrayed
to each the love they had vainly strug-
g!ed to conceal" What is an electric
kiss? Again, where is the ordinary
author who has not somewhere in his
list OF twenty exciting novels written !:
1.-The memory of the electric thrill of
that kiss remained with Stockman
through his life, and his thoughts ever
required to that rapturouS moment"
Inc author does not know what he is
talking about.
AN ELECTRIC THRILL,
pleasant, rapturouS! 1t is easy to see
he never gave or received an electric
kiss.
1t is much like the popular error that
writers indulge in when they describe
their heroes as looking long and low
lngly into the marvellous eyes of their
sweethearts, and the longer and more
lovingly they looked the larger the OPP
posite eyes would grow. Of course that
is an absurd fallacy, for the science of
hypnotism teaches That the longer one
looks at the pupil of anOther's eye the
OF light, which beckOnS him on, ell
chants him and finally enthralls his
will.
Ii the dear, ignorant author should
say that his herO's electric kiss knocked
the young lady down from the force of
the shock,or something like it, he would
come nearer the truth. Let a man try
one, and then write down his expert
ence, and the SS9 herOineS who nave
this year been Weakened into loye by an
electric kiss will next year appear as
maidenS deserted because of the interest
they took in kiss in its scientific bear
lngs. The way in which the true mean
ing or an electric kiss was discovered is
as follows: Some learned gentleman,
in the interests of science, more
especially that of electricity, afrer read
ing ID divers newspapers that in cold
weather many women had sufficient
electricity in their systems to light the
gas in room, decided to investigate the
theory. 1t was found that by scuffing
OF shutting over a heavy carpet enough
electric force is generated to produce an
electric shock in a person touched by
the finger of the eXperimenter. The
shuffier requires but two qualities, dry
boots and a peculiar gravity of counten-
sance. Inanimate objects do not feel
the thrill, but help produce bright
blue spark, so if your girl is Of the in
animate sort don't
TRY THE ELECTRIC KISS.
= A most aggravating way is to touch
the nose or ears of the object, or rather
subject. 1t was, of course, easy for
those with sentiment in their natures to
go from touching nose and ears to the
lips. No man that is man would be
content to touch rosy lips with his
fingers, so it came about that expert
menter and victim touched lip to lip.
The result was the reverse to what the
novelist had led me to expect. He had
implied that it was climax of all pas
sion, of all heart-filling feelings-it was
horrible feeling, rivaling the sensation
of prickIes, of falling in bed of nettles,
which is felt when limb falls asleep
on duty. 1t was as if one had made up
ones mouth for honey. and had it filed
with mustard OF hOrSeraeiSh, and were
left without any ready relief to soothe
the Smarting pain. Besides, the blue
fame had flavor and CLEAN about it
that reminded unpleasahtly of the in
fernal regions.
1t is hard to lose faith in theory one
has held from childhood, but in this in
stance the author is a ''story-teller,"
and had better try it for himself. This
interesting game, this playing with I'M
seen forces OF nature, provides an even
ing'S entertainment on frosty nights.
There is one thing certain, that no girl
will fall in love with beau that gives
her an electric thrill, when it feels as if
he were sticking needles and
PINS IN HER TENDER LIPS.
If she were in love she would soon
fall ont of it if his electric kiss were
frequent enough to produce bic, bright
spark that would leap from her lips
and across her her nose to her soft,
curling bang and set it afire as readily
as If it were a gas jet. If from no other
cause lady would refuse her lover, if
he ever even started to give her an
electric kiss. for big tall man does
look so ineffably silly when he shuff1es,
ina lo0se-jointed way, across the carpet
t0imprint his electric kiss-silly enough
to make girl repent her choice.
So please, Mr.. Author, don't write any
more about electric kisses and eyes
dilated for half an hour at stretch,
until you have experimental, from a
love of science, of course, and can give
plain facts. Then, ten to one, you will
give up novel writing and present to
the public a treatise on the ''DelightsOf
Electricity and Its Experiments.
l.. w.
KISSES FOR GRINNING SKULLS
A Religious Ceremony in the Tus-
oar, HiOhJa nd S-Tho ,ottarx,