The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1888-01-28

sat up, rubbed my eyes and remarked:
This is a pretty rough road"
"You can bet it's about the worst
know in the whole country. That's
why I'm working it. But Charley
Hicks Is driving tonight and he's SO
careful I'm afraid there isn't any
chance"
There was no longer any doubt that
the man was mad. ] glanced round
the car to see If there was an unoccu-
pied seat to which / could conveniently
move. There was not. had heard it
was best to humor maniacs, so / Thought
/ would draw him out.
ut seems to me as If you wouldn't
mind being in an accident" began.
''Mind it! that's what I'm looking
for! Do You think I'd ride on this mis-
cradle road for any thing else?"
Twas clearly in for it now. must
keep him talking and interested.
why do you want an accident?" I
asked. expecting him to tell me how he
loved to hear the timbcrs smashing.
the glass splinterinS. and fairly reyeled
over the scene of horror and suffering.
Il live on 'em." he calmly answered.
''but this Internal road seems to have a
grudge against me. I've been working
it for two months and must have spent
nigh on to a hundred dollars for tickets
and haven't made cent. Only last
week there was beautiful smash-up
to this very train. and would you be-
lieve it, ! was almost the only passen-
ger who wasn't badly hurt!''
Twas just about to congratulate him
on his escape when / fortunately re-
membered his mental condition and
checked myself in time.
How do you manage to live on acct
dentist" / Inquired.
because I'm insured. OF course it
don't pay every one to get insured.
It's all lottery. but SO far I've been
very fortunate. Do you see that Lego"
he said. poking his right out towards
me.
lido"
Feel the ankle and the foot"
Now. l had no desire to investigate
his anatomy. but as was still uncer-
tain of his responsibility. complied.
1T feels pretty hard" l observed.
after lingering it very gently.
Don't be afraid of hurting me-" he
said; Its wOod!'
"Woodr' exclaimed.
Eyes, some time before my first ac-
cident-that foot was my first-a friend
persuaded me to take out an accident
policy. Twas professional billiardist.
and ! travelled about a good deal play
ing matches and giving exhibitions.
Well. 1 got into smash-up and that's
the result. Igot five thousand dollars
for that foot. but my trade was gone. l
couldn't move fast enough round
table to play in public, SO / hired
room and went into the business of
keeping tables. 1t didn't pay and /
lost nearly all my money. / wasn't
good for any thing else, and didn't
know what to turn to. One day / struck
a bright idea. An accident took away
my living; it's only fair that accidents
should keep mel! / said. So began
looking out for likely bits Of road. and
it wasn't much moro than a month be-
fore Twas on beauty. Do you see
this" he continued, pointing to the
eye, tho glare of which had SO fright
ened me.
Il do" mildly answered.
Its glass. Isn't it a darling? So
natural it deceives every one"
1T quite deceived me-" / was able to
with absolute truth.
"Glad you like it. I'll give you the
address of the maker. in case you should
ever want one or two. He's away
best in the business. Well,
that eye was another 81 ,30O."
mot much for an eyer' ! sympa-
murmured
mo. it wasn't enough. You see they
pay 5000 for two eyes, and l don't
think the proportion is right. But Ibid
better next time. Feel that arm!"
did as / was bid. and inquired II it
was also wood.
"Papier-macher' he said proudly.
Its always ahead of wood for light
ness and strength. Made BY Mason.
best in the biz. Go to him If you ever
want any thing in that line.''
"How much did the arm bring youP"
Five thousand d liars, and that !
my best speculation.
Doesn't the insurance company OBJ
ject to your frequent claimsP''
"Well, do little bit in canvassing.
70 my travelling seems to be legitimate"
Il should have thought you'd made
enough to retire."
I've got very large family. and
I'm bound to do my best for EN-"
An. L n