The state chronicle. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1883-1893, 1888-11-09
SAM JONESES SAYINGS.

a fellow tell the truth 100 times in a1OO.
1t amt what church you join, but what
sort of fellow comes in when you jine.
y
Adam was a Methodist. How do |
know? Because the old rascal fell from
grace.
I'll be bull in the china shop before
this things over and you may prepare
yourself for it.
Do you preachers know that many of
your members have never been convicted,
much less converted2
-
You ask me why call folks fools? Why,
because that is the name of more than half
of every congregation.
They say 1.-The blood of martyrs is the
seed of the church. If that be so we
are about out of seed.
You little two-wheel Christians The
devil can give you ten miles the start and
catch you before breakfast
a fellow gets off to himself to keep out
of bad company, and he finds he's penned
up with the biggest rascal in town.
You've got merchants here that you can
take nickles and scatter 'em a hundred
yards part and toll them into hell
There is not a bar keeper In this coun-
try that doesn't know that if he dies in
that business he will go straight to he'll.
*.*
Some of you old women don't believe in
shouting, but you will go home and raise
the devil with your cook for burning the
biscuits.
You preachers quit reading your ser
Mons If | couldn't preach without man
uscript I'd go back to the Sunday school
where l belonged.
An old preacher once said to me: ''Jones
never did shout in my life" Said l:
Maybe, brother, you never had anything
to shout about"
If the people of Durham really believed
that the streets of heaven were paved with
gold they would get there or lose their toe
nails trying
Some people will talk about Sam Jones
converts and say they won't stand. If
you are Gods convert you will stand
when the stars are falling.
Somebody said the Methodists had to
cut down their steeple about twenty feet.
Reckon they thought they went about as
far in that direction as they owned.
Some folks say they don't mind what
Sam Jones says, but the way he says it..
Why, bless your soul! the way l say it is
the only thing | have patent right on.
| don't carry my feelings around with
me. I'm afraid some fool might hurt 'em.
And when | go home throw EN- over the
back fence for fear my wife will hurt 'em.
| like Shakespeare. Shakespeare can
take man by the hand and lead him
down every step to the bottom (of human
depravity,) but he can't bring him back
Jesus Christ can.
Some preachers say the Lord says open
your mouth and I'll fill it. Yes, He'll fill
it-with air And there are many old
air-guns going around protesting to be
preachers.
Brethren there is no use for Us to quar-
rel about our denominations. II my moth
er and brother Bostick's mother had
snapped babies he would have been a
Methodist and l Baptist
Some of you old fellows sit back there
and think this shouting is horrible. Lem
me tell you, old fellow, You had better
not go to Heaven, or some of these good
sisters might run you all around Glory
shouting.
If you will find man I do not love
and bring him here on this platform I'll
hug him until he hollers; and if you'll
find woman l don't love and bring her
here on this platform, Ill-Ill send fo1
my wife and HAVE her Rugged.
l am Just as good Methodist as ever
Hoped wings, but whenever Methodism
won't allow me to cooperate with other
good Christian people to save souls from
hell, bless your soul, then am anything
else than Methodist.
A good old sister said to me: BRO
Jones YOU talk more fCOliShness than any
preacher | ever heard" | said to her
''Sster do you know what foolishness isH
replied, 1T is stuff you rub on fools
Good company, l would like to put ur
in Durham, you are such good people. Il
Durham will do right there is no need o
your going to Heaven. The Lord viii ex
tend the streets of the new Jerusalem anC
incorporate Durham. You are clever folks
like you.
! The elect are the vhosoever wills anC
| the non-elect are the Nhosoever wonts
! Don't believe God was ever in passion
How bad does boy have to get before {
| mother ceases to love him! Don't belley'
| everybody will go to heaven: but there il
| not a man in he'll that didn't have good
! fair chance.
Some of you old fellows sit back there
and say: Oh, Jones, what makes yos
talk that way? Don't dishearten us Bles
your soul, you can't dishearten these Dur
ham folks The truth is, they think the,
are heap bigger than they really are
| and little hewing down will do 'em good
| it will.
Brethren let me tell you: When l wa
q sinner and went to balls aud would Sc
a church member there | would say t
myself: ''This is no place for your churc
memberships concern belongs to th
devil and we Sinners" and | never had
bit of respect for church member that
found at these places.
~
While am here in Durham, propos
to talk plain and should l tell you you
| foultc don't curcn mo for If m PC