Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-01-18
Carl Dunder.

old mans like me. dot Yankee vhas
a queer feller-awful queer. Some
mans come into my place eafery day
und yell out
"'Hi dere! Two peers Set 'em
oop, queek Tai ia! Goodbye,
Dunder 4! p,
"Und he throws down der money,
gulps down dot peer. und vhas off be-
fore can say Shack Robinson. 1t
doan' be like dot in Shermany. 60
NIT place at shlow walk, und 1
goes in py der door und shpeaks NIT
eaferypody. l ask him aboudt his
wife und shildren, his ,orse und cow
und pig, his health und his garden,
und py und py sat down und say to
dot barkeeper:
Hans, maype you haf some peer?
"'Yes, Herr Dunder.'
"'Maype it vhas good peerf
"'Yes, he Yhas.'
"Vhell, I try a glass
"He goes py der cellar und prings
him oop, und l take seat und play
some sheckers, and l drink leedle
und wait, und drink some more und
wait, und by und by it vhas swelve
o'clock und 1 goes home to dinner"
"That's too slow, Mr.. Dunder."
"Dot's der wsy all you Yankees
say. How long you pellet l vhas
getting married, Sergeant?'
ooh, perhaps three weeks, and that
is giving you seven days over the rest
of US"
"Tree weeks! Why, it vhas ten
years, und dot vhas too soon! If l
wait one more year l doan' marry
Mrs. Dunder at all II vhas like dis:
1t takes year to be introduced to dot
girl. 1t takes you year more pefore
you like to call her by her first name.
Maybe, after fife var take her hand
und say dot like to be married, but
it vhas fife var more pefore she con-
sents und vhas all ready"
TOO slow for me-"
"Und you vhas in sooch hurry
dot you doan' lif oudt half your days.
Dot prings me down to peesness.
Shake has run away some more"
mop
"Ho goes last night. We haf some
fuss again. Shake vhas too much
like Yankee, und l talk und talk to
him und it vhas no goot. DO you
know Shake feels SO pig dot he doan'
like to haf my clothes cut oafer for
him any more J"
as that possible !"
dot vhas possible. In der oldt
country wooden shoes vhas all right
for me. In dis country Shake likes
some fine CATERS, und he shines em up
NIT blacking. Some oldt hat vhas
goot enough for me, but Shake he
must go oudt und buy Won for tree
dollar. | haf some pants NIT only
two holes in 'em, but Shake won't put
'em on. When vhas boy doan'
haf ten cents month. Shake comes
to me almost eafery day und says he
likes half dollar or seek shillings.
In der oldt country play sheckers
or pitch horseshoes. MY Shake learn
how to play poker und billiards und
lots of odder games, und it makes
your hair shtand oop to hear talk of
pase ball and cricket. He calls me
old moss-pack, und sooch, und yester-
day l make oop my mind to put
shtop to him."
"Took him down cellar, eh p
dots vhas / like to do. | get dot
strap und tell him to come along, but
he says | vhas too fresh, und he vhas
gone pefore l got him. Sergeant"
well"
"Maype l vhas wrong. Maybe it
vhas deterrent in dis country. May
pc dot poy of to-day vhas not like der
oldt poys. ! doan' shleep any all
night und der oldt woman she vhas
crying all der time for Shake, and so,
if you see him, you may tell him to
come back. Tell him dot we try
again. IF he doan' say dot vhas too
fresh, und if he doan' tell me to put
oop my dukes, und if he doan'
keep talking about carom shots, hot
grounders, Shack-pots und so on l try
to make it all right und get along.
Shust tell him dot, Sergeant, und you
may SILENTLY hint to him dot if he
doan' do peter you pellet he Will pc
hung for murder. Goot-py, Sergeant
-maype | vhas too old for dis coun-
try."-Free Prees.