The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-06-23
KISSING AND CRITICISM.
Exchange.

windless swirls of night. locks kes- watching her slubby brow.
 Don't you know herr
 She's the little long -nosed lady who has been smearing white paper with glowing passion pictures, and who is doing for prose what Ella Wheeler Wilcox did for verse-ipjecting into it a red hot brand of Fedoraesque clinches and rough. and -tumbles and gum-swappings and 90 forth-this last expression, like sweet charity, covering a multitude of sins.
 tackled Amelie's "The Quick or the Dead," and 1t kept my cheeks burning all the time.
 Amelie is a regular brain confagra- tor and the best all-ro blush dis tributor that have yet come in con- tact with in any literature. There are very few pages of her story that cannot bring the orange-blur of shame to the cheek of glowful maid- enhood. Ass blur producer of this kind she's a magnificent success.
 As a kiss jerker, she so far surpasses Emma Abbott that honest little Elm must feel like kicking herself every time she hears the bulging sluwish of one of Amelie's kisses as 1t permeates the turbulous and thriliilulent page.
 Amelie's heroine, the young and hysterical widow, Bar6drd, has an india rubber kisser that fastens itself under brown mustache and then lets go with a welkin- tearing expression that sounds great deal more painful and lingering to the party of the third part than the old-time oscula- tory effect, which was said to resem- ble the noise of COW pulling its hoof out of the mud.
 Bdr6ard is kikser from kisscr- vile.
 She begins her nonsense by kissing three year old cigar stump, one of the souvenirs loft by hedecearshend band on the sitting room center table a month or so before he died.
 She kisses it rapturously for fourteen minutes and then calls for her hus- bands ghost to float in and allow her to wrap her kisser around the base of his disembodied mustache.
 After that she finds cousin of the decea ,ed's lying around loose on the premises, and she nearly kisses the life out of him.
 The cousins name is Jock DertBg, who is somewhat of kisse kiss kiss kisser himself. He develops wild and uncomfortable love for BdTbdrd, and she manifests half wrctched de- sire to contribute to his future mis- cry, but weird luxuriance of atiec- tion for No. 1, prompted probably by an idea that if she could make new deal with his spooklets there would be big dime museum engagement in it, interfered with Jocks arrange ments and caused the two of them to waste great deal of valuable time. But Bdr6drd's fondness for No. did not prevent her from raising blis- ters after the manuer of the monkey who kissed the baboon's sister, on the gentleman who wanted to shine as No. ?.
 She punctuated his remarks with the freest kind of kissing.
 "The weather"-he would start to say.
 "Kiss me, Jock" she would cry, and a sweeeeee-oooowoo !! which is an Amelia Rives kiss re- duced to writing, would be the result
 "Tsn't so bad," Jock would continue
 "Oh Jock, kiss mew she would shriek, and another sweeeeee- ooowooo swish would trouble the air. | l-s nF Lo ll add. and -"
 "Kiss me, Jock, kiss me?" she would yell once again, throwing her heart and soul and the entire capacity of her kisser into Q sweeeeee -ooowooo- swish that make all the rest of the world seem sad and lonely.
 Fine work this for 8 widow with a reminiscolent cadaver standing be- tween herself and a second shy at the matrimonial game, wasn't 1t?
 And after all her gum-swappiDg and misunderstanding, she gives poor Jock Dering the shake, and sends him out into the cold world without last comforting kiss to keep him warm tor the rest of his natural days.
 Amelie Rives may be an adept in Histology, but l don't like her style of permitting heroine with morbid appetite for osculation to destroy the shape of a good looking young mans mouth, and then fire him out either because he ran up against the wrong flavor of brandy or a strong consign- ment of fresh and fragrant young onions.
 She would have made BarLdra marry Jock, and then told us how, when both had grown old. their lives had gone out in grand oscuIatory continuation of happiness, and their souls had been winged on little kisses info the ecstatic kissing ground of the | herea fer