The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-02-08
The Practical Side of Domestic Life
BY MRS. ELEANOR NJ. HALE.

The people who pride themselves on
their strictness and infallibility bring
up, not sons and daughters, but rebels,
or slaves, kept subservient till full
manhood and womanhood are impos-
sible, then blamed for lacking indie.
pendence and good judgment. Re-
pressed children in secret condemn
their parents and obey in fear without
reverence. Severity challenges oppo'
sition in children as in grown persons,
and they are quite capable of apprecia-
ting the courtesy we bestow upon
strangers. Better offend the self i'm
portance Of q visitor who claims your
attention than rebuff a child who, at
the same time, makes demand upon
your parental love.
Much is said of the need of keeping
the boys at home evenings, away from
bad associations; but if made the sub
ject of indirect lectures, snubbed, and
treated with distrust, we can hardly
wonder If they prefer the street, where
consequent evil is the "sad end OF
principle unsound." Home should be
welcome refuge from annoyance and
temptation, not bed of nettles.
Too much reproOf is degrading and
hardening, especially if the child dis
covers, with his sharp discrimination
and quick sense of justice, that the
parent is far from faultless himself.
Our common liability to error, if it be
admitted, forms bond of sympathy ;
while if parent assumes that he is al
ways right, and is intolerant, of acts OF
forgetfulness and carelessness, oppor-
tunities for influence are lost. Why
not acknowledge that we, alike with
our children, are striving to become
better, and that we only represent a
further progress in wisdom and eXpe-
rience than they, and so stand togeth-
er as companions and friends instead
of Judge and culprit. Then it is well
to remember that our children have
for tendencies what we have bequeath-
ed to them as birthright, and not to
censure unreasonably fault that is
also our own, and may be oIr fathers
before us.
a severe trial of the integrity of
children is sometimes the parsimony
of parents in money and amusements.
No allowance being made for strong
desires and tastes, they are tempted to
purloin small sums or steal the time
for recreation. We should consider
their wishes if we expect them long to
consider ours, and never treat with
suspicion and impute unworthy mo-
tives, or we strike blow at their self
respect. One of the saddest times for
steYnuess is after a child'S voluntary
confession Of wrong-doing, when, if
ever, he is open to the influences of
truth and love. Think you, Christian
parent, he will easily be won by "a re-
ligion which has no kind word for a
returning prodigal?" Tell me not of
the deep and tender feelings that lie
hidden under q cold exterior. The
other passions of human nature are
not equally we'll concealed, and argue
a less degree of intensity in those so
successfully repressed.
There should be no doubt that low
ing-kindness establishes rather than
weakens authority. Whatever the diff
ferences of disposition and tempera.
ment, all yield to love, sincerity, and
evenness of treatment. The Golden
Rule as governing law of conduct is
worth as much when applied to our
children as anywhere. That we are
not responsible for results, but only for
faithfuiness, is no loophole of escape
from an accusing conscience in some
evil day. We cannot wash our hands
of results unless justified by unremit-
ting solicitude and tender unselfish-
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