Morning journal and courier., 1888-12-06
SCRATCHED.

A Wichita man is said to have sat up three successive nights to kill cat, but the cat never found it out.-Kansas City Star. Tall husband (to rather diminutive wife, who has heard burglars below)-You must 20 ahead, Abigail, because, you know, I'm near-sighted. Weekly. Bridget-Is all the elections over fur this year. Patricki Patrick-Oi'm thinkin' they are, Biddy. Sorry e'o' the political swells hex lifted his hat to me fur a wake.-PhiIa- delphia Record.
 In the list of 'tcollege yells" going the rounds of the press we fail to find any in ref erence to the electoral college; but perhaps it's pupils did all their yelling before they got there.-Norristow Herald. A father says to a little girl of five: ''Sup- pose little girl should strike you, you wouldn't strike back, would you? After moments thought she said: I should want to show her how she did."-Christian Advocate.
 A great statesman.-Smith-''It is shock ing to think that man like Brown could be elected to office. He is no more statesman he give $21 900 for the nomination and lot more to carry on the campaigni He ought to 20 into the cabinet. ."-Boston Post.
 The London Court Journal thinks it would be good policy to allow the United States to get along while without a minister. Per haps it wouldn't interfere with the men who do their fishing on Sunday, but how ia the world would the tennis field or the sewing circle survive without minister.-Boston Transcript.
 Ernest Renshaw of England brides himself on the fact that he has never been beaten at tennis That boast may sound very big in England, but here in America it goes for nothing. Ernest could go along the streets of any American city and count thousands of v,aoy,Io uuho hava Devar haen haafA0 af kau0is Milwaukee Sentinel.
 A pair of herriugs, if allowed to breed and multiply undisturbed for twenty years, would produce an amount of fish equal to the bulk of the earth. So said the great Buffon. This is why herring are dried thin ard packed so closely in boxes. There is not room enough for them in the world when spread out New Orleans Picayune.
 Applicant for place-"Well, I don't know, num- You have very large family, and Pm afraid I couldn't do the werk. I suppose you have great trouble keeping girls, don't you.n Sharp housekeeper-"Yes, indeed. There is big factory of handsome young men here, and everyone of my servant girls goes off and gets married" "Oh! Well, I'll try Philadelphia Record. She-''The watch you sold me runs too fast.n He-"Why, 1t was perfectly regulated when it left the store" She-"Well, when I got home to Brooklyn it." He-"Ah! understand the case perfectly, madam. You see, thought you lived in New York. Of course you need much slower movement. Now, you had better keep that one to use in the city and lee me show you something very nice for the other end of the bridge. D. Jswellers' Weekly.
 Affectionate wife-"Can you do nothing for Henry, doctora"
 Doctor-"Under present circumstances I
 am sorry to say that we can do nothing.
 This climate is too severe for him. He must
 have a change. If he could get where it is
 warmer-o
 get well, doctor, he is certain to have the
 requisite change. It will be great comfort
 to me to know when he is gone that he is in
 less indictment location. ."-Boston Tran
 script.