Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1888-12-28
FROM MANY SOURCES

THE bridesmaid has gone out Of stvlo
but the bride is rs popular as ever
Pittsburgh Chronicle Telegram.
AN exchange says: Drawing is not
an easy als. Those who have tried -
draw prizes in lotteries can swear to tbot
-Saratogia7a.
OLD LADY-Tm going down to tho
seashore and want suthin' nice and
roomy to battle in. Fresh Clerk-Yas
ma am; how would the Atlantic Ocean
do?-Jatdge.
The brevity which constitutes the
soul of wit is, in too many of our modern
plays, confined exclusively to the dresses
of the female members of the comnanv
Boston Transcript.
"HAvE you seen the elephant?" asked
old Mrs. Bently at the circus the otha,
evening of neignbor. mo, ma'am.n
he replied; 1--WE won't see the elephant
until after the show. Judge.
The railroad sandwich has been ana.
lyzed and found to contain only three
per cent. of mineral matter. So YOU
see what the imagination can do for a
man.-Burli',gton Free Press.
"THE world is mine!" exclaimed the
tragedian, in Monte Cristo," and the
comedian, waiting for eight weeks back
salary, murmured family -" Cut me off
a piece of New York, please" Idea. !.
HENRY VIII. (time good while ago)H
Il tire of my last new Queen. She
will soon get ahead of me. Chamber
lain-Then, sir, if it is your wish I will
call the executioner, and you will soon
get ahead off er.-Philadelphia Re-
cord.
Jov1AL bachelor-Well, Charlie, nv
boy, hear you are going abroad this
fall? Young Anglomaniac-Ya-as, I
expect to go-er-I shall spend most of
my time in London, yer know. j. B.
To acquire the language, suppose
Hdrpe1''s Bazaar.
Mr.. SAMPSON (fnishing song)-Do
you know, Miss Smith, that I am always
saddest when I sing? Miss Smith
(gently)-I feel much that way myself,
Mr.. Sampson. Mr.. Sampson-Ah, then
you, too, sing sometimes? Miss Smith
No, I never sing.-TSnae.
PROMISE me, dearest, one thing:
when I am dead and gone, and cremated,
as I will be, that you will not dump my
ashes into the barrel" james, swear
it. You shall be put in mothers best
pickel-iar, and laid away comfortably in
the cellar. "-Drake's Magazine.
FIRST club mani hear Flasher is
posing as model for the artist De
Palette. Second club man-Is that so?
I thought De Palette was OF work on
subject entitled "The Society Cad"
First club MAXWELL? Second club
an-Well.-Drahe's Magazine
WIFE Cat breakfast)-I think I will go
down town to-day. John, and get my
self pair of shoes. Husband-Well,
my dear, but you had better start inn
mediately after breakfast. am going
out this evening and I would like to
have dinner promptly at 6 o'clock.
Epoch.
BROWN Ito Sarcophagus, the under
taker)-What in the world induced you
to settle out at Blankville? There's
hardly dozen families there, I'm told.
Saracophagus-True, there are not
many people there, but then there are
three grade crossings within half mile
of my house.-Bosto,a Transcript.
The Empress of Japan, who is rapidly
becoming one of the best informed
woman of her time, has certain days of
the week upon which Japanese is for
hidden language. That's nothing.
There are 1855 days of every year that
Japanese is not spoken in many of our
best households. Post-Ec-
press.
A SAN FRANCISCO couple who desired
to get married chartered tug and had
the ceremony performed while the boat
was in the open sea. Such nonsense
should be frowned upon. Too many
couples have been "all at sea" when
they got married, and the tug-for exis-
tence-has come afterward.- Norris
tO1U11 Herald.
WILL YOU LOVE ME?
little mole is growing, John,
Just here beneath my chin;
It gives me SO much trouble, John,
I'm growing pale and thin.
And 80 want to ask you, John,
Will eer your love grow cold
Oh, whisper to me- darling.
Willyou love me when I'm moIedf
Boston Courier.
AUTHOR to editor)-Have you ex-
amined my last story, Mr.. Snippit?
Editor--Yes. 1t seems all right with
one exception. Author-What is that?
Editor--ln one place you lost sight Of
the eternal fitness of things and made
quite blunder, Author = Indeed.