Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1888-12-03
ALL SORTS
You can't weigh grams with grammar,
Nor sugar hams with hammer,
Do sums with summer,
Stew nlums with pIumher,

a
Do with Il summer,
Stew plums with plumber,
Nor shear an old ram with "A hammer.
THE HOLIDAYS There is nothing more condnc.
i've to the enjoy meut of the holiday season than
good health, to secure and p rmanenty remain free
from paralysis. heart disease, Rheumatism, dyspep-
STA, kidney and bladder troubles. Use Anu-Apo-
plectine, price 81 at your druggists. Henry Alb
bolt of Augusta, Me, says :-Anh-A poplectine has
done the most good of any thing have ever
taken for paralysis of the legs.
First Architect-What's wrong, james? Second
Archrect-ATean st swindIe l ever of. You know
old Sknhint? Well, put up $4,000 house for
him. and when the bills came in for $4,000 he got
mad. ''Well, wen r"
For so years I have been troubled with catarrh-
have tired number of remedies without relief. A
druggist here recommended Ely's Cream Balm. 1
have used only one bottle and | can say [ feel like
a My catarrh chronic and very bad
I make this voluntary statement that others may
know of the bam-J. w Mathewson, Qawyer),
Pawtucket, r. L.
Two bottles of EIy's Cream Balm cured the wife
of well known U. S. A General, and also two
army officers in Arizona of catarrh Price fifty
cents. Pleasant to use.
81 understand that Col. Blear is very wealthy"
Gwen, he's worth about 100000 GLOW did he
make it?" lie made it out of coal oil" "In-
deed!" "Ycs; his first wife lit the fire with kero
sene and he got all her money!
Consumption surely Cnred.
To THE EDIToR-Please inform your readers
that have positive remedy for the above name
disease By its timely thousands of hopeless
cases have been perma entity cured l shall be
glad to send two bottles of my remedy free to any
ofyour readers who have consumption they will
send me their express and post office address. Re-
specially, T. a. Slocum NJ. c.. Isl Pearl street,
New York.
The President evidently belives that Horace
Greelyey's advice is worth repeating, consequently
he has said to Britain's representative 500,
Westl''
ECZEMA, ITCHY, SoALY SKIN ToRTUREs.-The
simple application of Swayne's Ointment, without
any internal medicine, will cure any of letter,
eczema all scaly itchy skin eruptions, no matter
how obstinate long standing. 1t is potent. effect
i've. and costs but a trifle. olS-22
Dakota named Animation committed sui
eide by hanging. The jury ought to have returned
verdict of suspended Animation.
The Excitement Not Over.
The rush on the druggists still continues and dali
~ scores OF people call for bottle OF kemp's Bal
sam for the throat and lungs for the of coughs,
colds, asthma, bronchitis and CONSUMPTION Kemps
baIsain' The standard family remedy, IS sold on a
guarantee and never fails give entire satisfaction.
Price Soc and 81. Trial size free
He-Do you object to smoke? She-No. indeed,
do not. Why, didn't you know belong in Pitts
burg, and the denser the smoke the more at home 1
feel.
Everybody likes to be called handsome, espec-
tally the young ladies. But that is simply impos-
sble as long as their face is covered with pimpes,
blotehes and sores. But wait, there is no need OF
this; one two bottles of Sulphur Bitters win
move all such Designations and make your face
fair and rosy.-F Fannie Beile. Editress.