The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1888-01-14
SAM HANpw,on.s PLAN.


SAM HANDwicn's PLAN.
4 literary Man rrsvss rnss 1s 10 Chssper
10 Move Than 20 Fay Rent.
Sam Handwich Is would-be author
who lives in Galveston, Texas, and
writes sensational stories for the news
papers and magazines. Like most
men Of letters. Sam Handwich is poor,
but he never allows that circumstance
to disturb him in the least. He gener-
ally manages to get enough to eaA
such as 1t is, and his time is so absorbed
by his literary labors that he has no
opportunity to complain even II he
were disposed to do so, which he is not,
for he Is an optimist and philosopher.
A few mornings ago, while engaged on
a novel for New York literary paper.
there came violent knock at the door.
Come in," said Sam, placidly. Mr..
Walkover, Sans landlord, entered.
He held folded paper in his hand.
''Here is the bill for your rent I
would like to have it paid Immediately,
Mr.. Handwich; I've been waiting for
you to pay for some time"
us it really possible, Mr.. Walkover,
that You expect me to pay actual cashp'
"Well, that's just what l do expect.
It's three months since you have paid
cent Of rent, and / am tired Of your
way OF doing"
$50 it's three months since / paid
you any rentp Great Scott! How time
fliesl No wonder the ancient Romans
said 7smpus fuqit. It does fugit, like
the mischief"
Eyes, time passes, but no money
passes between u.s."
That's so,'' replied Sam, 'if you
have paid me any money during the
last three months it has escaped my
memory. Yes. the past three months
have been fraught with disaster"
Eyes, they have been very sad to
! NO. said Walkover.
1.-The events of the last few months,
Mr.. Walkover, have been very sad tc
everybody. There was that earth.
quake in Italy and the south Of France.
Good gracious! How much it must
have cost those landlords to repair
their houses! l feel sorry for them
The wart in the throat of the German
Grown Prince is really alarming.
fear 1t is cancer. In our own country
there have been many disasters. That
railroad accident at Cbatsworth, Ill.
involving great loss of property ant
hundreds"
''Well. that's none of our business
We are not to blame for the earth
quakes. We are not responsible for th'
wart in the Grown Princes throat, bu
you are responsible for the rent o
these apartments" said Walkover, in
dignantly.
q II am surprised, Mr.. Walkover, t,
hear you speak in such frivolous man
ner Of those heart-rending disasters
entailing such untold misfortune on tn
human race"
"That's all bosh. Will you pay m
my sixty dollarsp''
''Is it possible that owe you tina
muchp"
Eyes, thanks to my weakness, 70,
have got into it that deep"
.For Gods sake. Mr.. Walkover
don't call your nDble-hearted gener
osity weakness"
II want my money; sixty dollars ar
not to be found in the street ever
day."
Eyes. regret to be able to corrobo
rate that statement" replied Sam wit
sigh.
.'Do you think that it is fun for me t.
do without my money all tho timer"
THE wise man. Mr.. Walkover--'
..Pays his rent" interrupted Walk
over.
..EIow much disappointment land
lords suffer by hugging that delusiol
in their bosoms! The really wise ma
learns to deny himself luxuries. FOLLOW
my example, and learn to deny your
self"
'.Deny myself what?"
'The sixty dollars that you are nc
going to get from me"
"All right, MI. Sam Handwitch, n
strike off the sixty dollars you owe. II
make you u present of it."
..Are you in earnestp"
Eyes, I'll make you present of th
sixty dollars, If"
.Ah! So there is an If about 1t.
eyes, I will cancel your debt if 20
move out at once"
'.Move out!'' exclaimed Sam, yer
much amazed. "Why in the worl
should we part, Mr.. Walkoverp w
have always got along very well tt
gether. / have never made any con
2 plants about the price of rent. VIII
should / want to get rid of you wh
have been so kind and consideratep"
.'Well, that's cheek?' calculate
Walkover.
ut is true" continued Sam, 9TH,
the house is very much in need of r.
pairs. It ought to have new fence
front, and it needs painting. and the,
is no water in the kitchen. hut still
don't care to move"
''Well, that is gall! Look here, M
Sam Handwich, I will cheerfully lo
the rent you owe me just to got rid
you. am willing to make almost al
sacrifice to get rid of you"
That's very hattering to me. VIII
you say encourages mo to ask you 4
the loan OF twenty dollars"
''Are you crazyp"
..No. but on reflection I've come
~. a. - g.