The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1888-08-30
PITH AND POINT.
A vacant lot-Dudcs.

81 "A vacant lot-Dudcs.
n The age of humor-B Badinagc.
Food for reflection Brain food.
An attractive papcr-Fly paper.
II A bad lit--A fit of dependency.
d The first letter rcarrier-Thc alphabet.
A composing stick--An awkward
*Sriter OF music.
The proof against the anarchists seems
Ito be bomb proof.
The sea COW probably eats from the
Ntrough of the sea.
II A twenty. dollar gold piece and re-
liable watch always 90 for what their
Hfaces indicate.
"a The widow of a railroad baggage man
Railways refers to her deceased husband as
y her ex-checkcr.
However extravagant a contortionist
may be he always manages to make both
ENDS meet.-LUc.
St. A Western boy ran for Congress when
he was only fourteen years old. He was
/ 10 page in the House.
Insanity in baseball player can be ex.
pected. Some of the best players get off
tuc' Duoc'-f WuyuHcs
"How much to reep through your
1 telescopc" "Ten cents" There's five.
I've only one eye. ."-Time.
Jawkins is a mean man. He says all
the vacation he wants is--for his wife to
go away on hers. - Times Democrat.
The earth is but a shallow crust,
Around core of heat and flame;
Some people on it don't ask much
The crust is good enough for them
Detroit Free Press.
|, The largest umbrella in the world has
been made in Glasgow for King of
East Africa. His Majesty seems to be
making preparations for long reign.
Boston Ueymtd.
"IIow're you getting along" remarked
one moth to another. "Oh, ] manage
to keep in clothing" And he disap.
peared within fur lined overcoat. -
| Western RtyaL.
GLOW many deathsI" asked the hospi-
tal physician, while going his rounds.
"Nine." "Why / ordered medicine for
ten" eyes, but one wouldn't take it,"
r-Neo Torh Sun.
A A little girl who had often been
Aamuscd by her fathers watch laid her
Hhand on his breast and suddenly looking
Xup said: "Oh, mamma papa goes tick,
STICK, too. "-PicayHae.
II 'Twixt sail and sailor what may be
The diference tell me, implore:
The sail, you know, gets full at sea,
The sailor-he gets full on shore.
Judge.
A Violent ranstorm-crowded street car
-handsomc lady and gentleman on
m "A tn in 1al
-"Can you squeeze lady in therel"
Chorus of Male Voices" GER
tanly. -Ne,o York NeCs.
Teacher "Knipke, who reigned the
earler, Titus or \espasianl' Scholar
"Titus.' Teacher Mistake" Scholar
(quickly correcting himself)-"Nespa-
sian.' Teacher (sternlyl-''Kleemiler
has whispered to you again. bliegende
BldettGr.
Cigar Manuiacturer-"Mr Editor,
heres sample of my newest brand of
cigars. I'd be much obleeged if you'd
sgive it a puff" Editor-"Why, GER
tainly, MIR, Maduro reaching out for a
ssample. Have you match ."-Detr0H
Tree Press.
Ia Customer to barber-"Shave down
d against the grain" 'rd lust as soon
shave down as not" replied the loqua-
cious torturer, "but cant find any ON
your grizzly old lace, The down on
your jaw turned to bristles years ago. -
DdnspiPe Bcees.
Business-"'rhe doctor has ordered
me to the mountains for my health"
fkomantic-"l envy you. Glorious
scenery! Mountains lofty, imposing,
appalling, tremen-" Business
'Uestily know but how are the
prices" Romantic (airily ,-"oh; like
the mountains, like tho mountains" -
ided.
ut was severe punishment" said
the iather self'reproachiully, "but it an
swers the purpose. II kept John from
running on the street" "You didn't
cripple the boy, did your "No; had
his mother cut his hair for him. You
ought TO SEQ the poor boy" Aud tho
proud father wept bitterly. - Chieago
Tribune,
'kose kaoktus," exclaimed the
gloomy lover, "since you won't marry mo
/ I've nothing to live for. pm going to
snoot myself" "l.et me see your pistol,
mr., Larial," lle reluctantly showed il
70 her. shoot yourself with'a a2-calibre
pop sad tho beautiful Arizona maiden
Sohtemptuously, as she looked at tho
weapon. III YOU do, and IL hurts any,
.o'ne 70 mo and ! will give you u piece
VI court plaster, ~ Chioago Tribune,