Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1888-03-20
MISCELLANEOUS.
Bill Nye on His Travels:
He Mee.s a Hard Ffsted Farmer on a
Rail,oay Train.
From the New York world.l ]

From the New York world.1
On board western train the other day. I
held in my bosom for over scven-fvG miles the
elbow of \ large man whose name 1 do not
know He was not railroad hog or wonld
have resented It He was built wide and he
couldn't help it. so forgave him.
He had large, gentle, kindly eye, and when
he desired to spit he went to the car door.
opened 1t and decorated the entire outside of
the train. forgetting that our speed would help
To give scope to his remarks.
Naturally Us he sat there by my side. hold
ing on tightly to his ticket and evidently afraid
that the conductor would forget to como and
get it. began to figure in my mind what might
bc his business. He had pounded one thumb
so that tie nail was black where blood had
settled under it. This might happen to shoe
maker. u carpenter. blacksmith or most any
one else. Soitdidn't help me out much. though
It looked to me as though 1t might have been
done by trying to drive fence-nail through
leather hinge with the hack of an axe aud
nobody but a farmer would try to do that
Following up the clue. L discovered that he had
milk ON his boots and then knew Iwas right,
The man who milks before daylight in a dark
barn, when the Thermometer is down 10 2S de-
pail. by reason of the cold and the uncertain
light and the prudishness of the COW, is n
marked man. he cannot c8nccai the fact that
he is Q farmer unless he removes that badge
So 1 started out on that theory and remarked
that this would pass for q pretty hard winter
o., ,-strel- = 1. - -
The thought was not original with me, for
have heard it expressed by others either in this
n. n gA
"Nly cattle has gone through u noSful O.
hay sincE since October and eleven ton o brand.
Hay don't seem to have the goodness 10 It thct
1t he'd last year, and with their new process
grtss mills they jerk alI the juice ont o brand,
so's you might Us well feed COWS with excelsior
and upholster your horses with hcmlock bark
as to buy brand"
''Well. why do you run so much to stock
Why don't you try diversified farming, and ro-
tation of crops5
Well. probry you got that idce in the pa
pers. A man that earns big wages writing
Fnrm Hints for agricultural papers can make
more money with soft lead pencil and two
or three scasOn-cracked idess like thatD cau
carrying of 'em out on the farm. We used to
have feller In the drug store in our town that
wrote such good pieces for the Rural VCrmOn-
ter and made up such u good condition pow
der out If his own lead that two yeafs ago we
asked him to write uessay for the annual
meeting of the Buckwhcat Trust, and to use
his own judgment about choice Of subject
And what do you s'pose he had selected for a
nessay that took the whole forenoon TO readS'
g What subject, you mean y"
"Yes."
"Give it upI"
'-welI, he'd wrote ont that whole slamed In
tcllectual wad On the subject Of The Inhn-
manity of Dehorning Hydraulic Rams HOw's
that7"
That's pretty fair"
"well. farmin' is like runnin' paper in re-
CARDS TO some things. Every feIlcr in tue
world will take and turn In and tell you how
to do it. even If he don't know blame thing
hbout it. ThcFe uint iIrai IN tie United
States tb-day that don't secretly tbink he could
run airy One If his other bnsiHcss busted on
him. whether he knows the difference between
q new milch COW and horse hayrakc or not.
We had one of these embroidered nigbt-shirt
farmers come from town better'n three yeurE
ago. Been n toilet soap man and done we'll.
and so he caiue out and bought farm that
had nothing To it but fancy house aud harn.
a lot of meddcr In the front yard and u south
ern aspect. The farm WIS no good. You
cOudn't raise u disturbance on It. Well. what
does he doy Goes aud gits n pasSIe Of Slim
tailed. yeIIer cows from New jersey and aims
To handle cream and diVei sifed farming. Last
year the euss sent u load of cream over and
tried to sell il 1T the new cTemafOry while the
funeral and hOllercOs: was gOin' on. may
be sort of u chump myself. but read my pa
t)t.r and don't Ppt left like that
What are the prospects for farmers In
your statel''
Well. they arc pore. Never was so pore. in
fact sence I've ben there. Folks wonder
why boys leaves the farm. Ny boys left 50 u
to get protected, they said. and so they went
into cIOthIDg-stOre, one Of 'em, and one went
into hardware aud one Is talkiB' protection in
the Legislature this winter. They said that
farmin' was gittin' to be Ike hstin' and hunt
IN. well enough for man that has means and
leisure, but they couldn't make IiVin' 1t, they
said Another boy Is in q Ding store, and the
man that hires him says he Is 4 royal feller."
Kind Of castor royal felIer, said with
a shrek of laughter.
He waited until had laughed all wanted
TO and then he said.
i've always hoIIered for high tariff in order
to byst the public debt- but noW that We'Te
got the national debt cooPered 1 wish they'd
take little hack at mine. I've put in fifty
years farmir'. never dark Ticker in any
form. rve worked from ten to eighteen hours
day. been economical in eIoze and never
went to q show m0ten dozen times IN my
life. raised family and learned upward of
two hundred calves to drink out of q tin-pail
without blowing all their vitties up my sleeve
Ny wife worked alongside o me SEWN new