The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1888-12-21
MANAGING A HUSBAND.
Aunt Tryphena Gives Her Niece
Instructions in the Art.

y
Instructions in the Art.
Stretched out on the sofy in the best
parlor,'' said Aunt Tryphena, 'with his
head on the tidy embroidered with a
parrot, and his muddy heels on the
crochet work! Well, what are men
coming top
Aunt Tryphena and her niece, Mrs.
John Jennings, had just come in from
a shopping expedition-an expedition
in which they had secured Sixth av-
enue, Grand street and the Bowery,
paid seventy-five cents in car fare. and
succeeded in purchasing two yards OF
French flannel at three cents yard
less than they would have paid on Broad
way, thereby achieving saving of ex-
actly six cents.
Aunt Tryphena was tail and gaunt
and specialized, with a mouth like a
nut-cracker, two little clusters of curls
which didn't in the least match her
hair, pinned just above her temples,
and a bonnet like a soldiers helmet.
Mrs. John Jennings was a pretty little
woman. with very red cheeks, eyes like
black glass beads, and an incipient
frown between her ietty brows.
ut won't do!'' said she, putting
down her shopping bag and parasol
fretfully.
ut amt the way 1 was brought up
to use the best room every day." said
Aunt Tryphena.
Mrs. Jennings went into the parlor
where her unconscious liege lord was
reading the paper.
Halo! my lover' said Nh. Jennings,
Back again, eh?'
John said Mrs. Jennings tartly,
''can't you read your paper anywhere
else than in my parlor??n
isn't it mine, too?n cross-questioned
Mr.. Jennings, with a comical twist of
his eyebrows.
Letting in the sunshine and the flies.
and marking up the tides with your
muddy feet" added the wife, queru-
lousy.
My feet are not muddy. Clara -
said Mr.. Jennings, curving himself
around to get view of the soles of his
boots. ''And if / had thought of it l
would certainly have removed the
tides"
And ruined my furniture"'
My dear, l thought furniture was
made for user
"Well, it isn't" said Mrs. Jennings,
growing illogical in her vexation. as
she jerked down the Holland shades:
land you must go into the sitting-room
to read your paper. Aunt Tryphena
says that in her house"
AUNT Tryphena be hanged.' said
Mr.. Jennings, jumping up and throw
down the paper. If can't enjoy my
self in my own house, I'll go else
where"
And catching his hat from its peg on
the hall rack, he strobe out of the
house. Aunt Tryphena rolled up her
gooseberry-colored eyes in pious hor-
ror.
My goodness me.n said she, 'what
temper! It's sinful-absolutely sin
full! And l do think it's your duty,
Clara, to subdue it."
So that, when Mr.. Jennings came in
to tea, his wife received him in solemn
silence, and checked every effort at con-
versation with monosyllable replies.
by the way. my dear" said Mr..
Jennings, when the unsocial meal was
nearly through. tive - my old college
friends are at the Brunswick, and
invited them here to dinner on Thurs
day.
Mrs Jennings hesitated. Aunt Try
phena dropped her napkin, and in
reaching for it brought her head near
enough to her niece to whisper sepul-
chrally:
My dear, don't begin by opening a
free hotel for all your husbands gentle
men friends! It'll make slave of you
for life-take my word for it."
And Mrs. Jennings answered:
''On Thursday? 1t won't be conven-
lent, John. I'm going out myself to
spend the day"
Mr. Jenkins looked at her moment
with curious expression on his face.
That need make no difference"
said he. Il will give my orders to
cook
Indeed you will not" said Mrs.
Jennings, with a toss of the head. Il
do not care to have my house made a
tavern of during my absence"
In that case observed her hus-
band, with great elaboration, i shall
entertain my friends at restaurant,
and drive them UP to New Rochelle af-
forwards"
Aunt Tryphena half closed her eyes,
with a little sigh-like gasp.
If my husband had done such thing
=" said she spasmodically.
Mr.. Jennings" said Clara, indig-
nantly rising from the table, Il beg you
will do no such thing"