New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-12-31
4 FLEXIBLE POLICY.

Wnnf are the WIN Waves say INK h"7 '~''o "''''
IN interesting question. That to Mr.. Bayards
car the wild waves around Iloyt and Samoa make
entirely different remarks is evident The Hay
tan ripples whisper TO him. We are weak,
we've only got few gunboats for a navy, and
our army contains but one hundred ana hiy
privatcs and barely twice as many officers BE-
sides, we negroes, and we don Z want 10 nave
any trouble, anyhow" That's the sad, low
refrain that our Secretary hears in the llaytian
wavelets But the Samoa breakers speak to him
like this: We're German waves and you bet
we roll high If you want to fight come ahead
We've got our boots on, and you just want to
listen to us shout you innocuous statesman of
despised Republicl' When Mr.. Bayard heard this
he shoes the American eagle back into his
coop and shuts the door.
No Secretary of State has ever reduced things
10 such a system as has Mr.. Bsyard. He knows
just how he is going to act towards any given
country in advance, and without knowing any
thing about the offence His diplomatic system
might be presented in regular classified form; il
would read good deal like home-doctor'
book He has the Powers assigned to different
classes and the treatment for each class pre-
scribed. For instance:
Class First: Small countries, very weak; especi-
ally niger governments, like Hayt or Moroc-
CO. In of any offence, no matter how small,
talk loud and send your biggest war ships.
Demand satisfaction or blood convey idea you
prefer blood Make 'em do what you want and
apologize. Then stick 'em for indemnity. BE
very careful that Power belonging to Glass
Second or Class Third is back of small Power.
Watch symptoms closely. II the country under
treatment is weakened by internal strife talk ali
the louder. During operations the Secretary of
State should continue Gguratiyely speaking, TO
Jump up and down and crack his heels together
and whoop. This treatment, in a somewhat
milder form, will do for such Powers as Mexico
and some of the South American Republics.
Glass Second For much stronger countries,
such as SPAIN for instance. Great caution must be
used BE sure you are right and then go slow.
Talk good deal, but keep your war ships in the
Navy Yard at night If you a diplomatic
hole 10 crawl out Of, crawl Keep talking about
what you are going to do, and sometimes you
can tire the Power out and it will settle the thing
to get rid of you. Always be ready to be con-
WINGED that they right and you are wrong.
Never hesitate to hedge. Telegraph the Power
when you hedge, but make your demands by canal
boat String it. out and the next Administration
will have 10 settle the matter. This lets you
out gracefully.
Glass Third: Strong powers, like Great Brtain
and Germany. Don't have anything to do with
en-. II they insult you, swallow it, Remember
that you strained at the gnat in the case Of Class
First. and now is good time TO take the camel
Positively, do not try to treat them at all-if you
do you will get left Bear in mind that they
understand their business and that you don't.
Always be ready TO get up in the night TO apollo
gize TO one OF them. if they tell you to. Don't
be impcrtincnt and ask what you apoloQizing
for, hut apologize. Apologize for not having
apologized before. Send on few apologies to
each one, 50 all will have them on hand to use
as needed. II one of them steps on you, lie down,
as to give il better chance TO continue the
promenade. Turn over AZ / let it walk on the
other side Of you. BE old-school alopathiSt
with Class FIRST, mild homcopathist with Class
Second, and don't let it get out that you in
the profession at all with Class Third.