The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1888-09-22
THE OLDEST WILL on RECORD.

| THE OLDEST WILL on RECORD.
The Fart of fPcmbrokc's Queer Disposi.
ston of His hody and Estate.
tBoston Hsrala.l
81 Philip V, Earl Of Pxmbroks nd
Montgomery. being, a. / am essured. al
unsoupd health but of sound memory.
as we'll remember mo that Ava yeers
ago did give my vote for the dispatch
Ing OF Old Canterbury, neither have ]
forgotten that did see my King upon
the scst'old; yet, as It Is said that death
doth even now pursue me, and, more
over, as 1t Is yet further said that it ID
my practice to yield under coerctou. I
now make this my last will and tesla.
meut:
'tItnprimis: As for my soul. I do
confess have often heard men speak
OF the soul, but what may be thess
same souls, or what their destination.
God knowsth; for myself know not.
Men have likewise talked to me Of su-
other world, which have never visit
ed; nor do know even an inch Of the
ground that leadelh thereto. When the
King was reigning l did make my son
wear surpllce, being deslrous that hs
should become a bishop; and, for my.
self, did follow the religion OF my
master; then came the Scotch, who did
make me = Presbyterian, but since the
time OF Cromwell have been an Iude.
pendent. These are, methinks, the
three principal religions of the King
dom. II any one Of the three can save
a soul, desire they will return Il to
Him who gave Il to me.
"Item: give my body. Tor Il IL
plain cannot keep Il, rs you see the
are tearing Il to pieces.
Bury me, therefore. / hold churches
and land enough for that. Above MI.
put not my body beneath the church
porch, tor l am, after all, q man Of
birth, and / would not that should bo
inferred there where Col. Pride was
born.
"Item: l will have no monument.
for then l must needs have no epltaph
aud verses over my carcass. During my
lie had enough Of these. -
"Item: desire that ait my does
may be shared among all the msmbers
Of tho council Of the state. With re-
gard 10 them, ! have been ell things to
all men sometimes went with the
peers; sometimes with the commons. !
hope, therefore, they will not suffer my
poor ours 10 want.
s'1tem: give my two best saddle
horses to the Earl of DsnbIgh, whose
legs, methinks, must soon begin to fall
him. AS regards my other horses, !
bequeath them to Lord Fairfax, that
when Cromwell and his council take
away his commission he may etlll have
some horses TO command.
"Item: 1 give sit my wild beasts 10
the Earl Of Salisbury, being very sure
that he will preserve them, seeing that
he refused the King doe out OF hls
park.
"Iiein bequeaih my chaplain 10
the Earl Of Stamford, seeing that he
has never had one In his employ, hav-
ing never known any other than his
son, my Lord Gray, who. being at the
same time spiritual and car nal, will en-
gender more than one monster.
"1tem: Igive nothing to my Lord
Saye, and / do make him this legacy
because l know he will
faithfully distribute II unto the poor.
Item: Seeing that 1 do menace y
certain Henry M'idmay, but did not
thrash him, l do leave the sum Of ESQ
to the iackey that shalt pay
unto him my debt.
"ltem: l should ha We given 10 the su-
thor of tho libel on women entitled
"N.ws Of the Exchange" threepence
to- invent Il yet more scurrilous mode
OF malie ming; but, seeing that he insult.
eth and slandereth l know Aot how
many honest persons, l commit the Of
flee of paying him TO the same lackey
who under iaketh tho arrears Of Henry
Mtldmay. lie Will teach him 10 dis-
tinguish between honorable women
and disreputablc.
"Item: 1 give to the Lieut.. Gen.
Cromwell one of my swords, the which
he must want, seeing that he has never
kept any Of his own.
Item: give to tho wealthy citi-
zens OF London aud likewise to the
Presbyterians and nobility notice TO
look after iheir skins; for, by order OF
the State, the garrison Of Whitehall has
provided Itself with poigDards and
use!h dark lanterns in place Of candles.
"Item: give up the ghost.''
This document, which was penned
ny the Earl himself, is one OF the most
curious wills on record, nnd Is duly filed
and attested In Doctors Commons.