davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-11-02
LANSBURGH l. BRO,
n2-1t
42O, 400, 424. and 42e 9TH ST. NV.
FR1DArs Talk FoR SATURDAY
SHOPPERS

- nAohAO - Ain - Oh
SHOPPERS.
WE ALWAYS MAKE POINT TO TALK
CHILDREN's THINGS AT THIS TINE IN
THE WEEK. NATURAL-THE CHILDREN
HAVE MORE TIME AND THEIR WANTS
CAN BE SUPPLIED WITH MORE DELHI
GRAFTON NOVELTIES ARE ARRIVING
ALL THE TIME. MONDAY AS WELL AS
FRIDAY-BUT WE BELIEVE sATUR-
DAE TO BE "CHILDRENs DAY."
WITH THIS IN VIEW WE ENDEAvoR TO
DROP FEW SHOPPING HINTS TO PAR
ENTs AND GUARDIANS ON FRIDAYS.
FORTUNATELY FOR Us-AND YOU AS
wELL-wE'vE JUST RECEIVED FROM
THE GEORGETOWN CUsToM-HoUsE AN
INVOICE OF PARTISAN NOVELTIES FOR
CHILDREN. OUR OWN DIRECT IMPoRTA-
TIoN. WE OPENED THEM TO-DAY. YOU
KNOW NO NATION PAY so MUCH REGARD
TO CHILDREN's DRESS AS THE FRENCH.
YOU KNOW NO HOUSE PAYS THE SAME
ATTENTION TO THEIR CHILDREN's
STOCK AS WE DO. WHAT DEDUCTION
WOULD YOU MAKE FOR THIS, ONLY
ONE CAN BE MADE. sAKs AND COMPANY
MUST HAVE EVERYTHING THERE IS
FOR CHILDREN THAT'S WORTH HAVING.
THERE'S WHERE YOU'RE RIGHT. IF YOU
KNOW OF ANYTHING THAT'S WORTH
. HAVING AND WE HAVEN'T GOT 1T, LET
Us KNOW. WE'LL GET 1T. WE DON'T
BELIEVE YOU CAN THINK OF ANYTHING,
HOWEVER.
But TO THE POINT-ANYTHING THAT
THE SEASON SUGGESTS AS NECESSARY
TO THE COMFORT AND APPEARANCE OF
YOUR LITTLE SONS WE'VE GOT. YOU
CAN RELY ON THAT. WE'VE GOT 1T,
TOO, AT THE RIGHT PRICE.
WE'VE DEVOTED ONE OF OUR VIM
Dows TO THE DISPLAY OF AS MANY OF
THE LATEST CHILDREN's NOVELTIES
AS IT Is POSSIBLE TO USE LOOK AT
THEM THROUGH THE GLASS. COME UP
TO THE SECOND FLOOR (ELEvAroR)
AND TAKE THEM IN YOUR HANDs-Ex-
ANIME THEM CAREFULLY. LET US FIT
THEN ON THE BOY. WELL PLEASE YOU.
WE KNOW WE CAN.
SHOPPING Is MADE DoUBLY EASY FOR
YOU here. EVERY ACCOMMODATION
FOR YOUR COMFORT THAT CAN BE Is
oFFERED. LIGHT AS THE STREET
ON THE DARKEST DAYS. WE SHOW
GOODS IN THE LIaHT-1Ns1sr UPON
DOING so.
WE'LL LOOK FOR YOU TOMORROW
sAKs AND COMPANY.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-11-02

"You knoO haue alssavs charged l21Sc for tAese y
The buyer referred to the following:
loo. EACH for Ladies' extra size pure linen Hand
kerchiefs with white aud colored narrow and wide
hemstitched borders-revere. corded and plain.
SOC. EACH for Mems japanese 6ilk Handkerchief
that retailing 1t many stores for 81 each. The
quzntest and artistic fancy borders yet shown
and in great variety.
THE PAI.AIs ROYAL
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-11-02
THr REsuIr

OF THE GREAT VALUES PROCURED By THE
PEOPLE OF THIS COMMUNITY IN CLOTHING
FOR MEN AND BOYS Is AN IMMENSELY IN
CREASED TRADE AND HAPPY CROWD OF PA
IRONS. COME AaAIN-DUPILcArR LOTS OF
THE SPLENDID BARGAINS IN BOYS SUITS. 4
TO IA YEARS, AT s2.5o. JUST RECEIVED. THIS
Is ONLY AN ITEM THE ENTIRE STOCK OF
ELEGANT CLOTHING CONSISTING IN SUITS
AND ovRRcoATs FOR MEN AND BOYS, AND
EXTRA PANTALoONs. WOODEN AND PERCAIR
sH1RT-wAIsTs. UNDER WHICH OUR TABLES
ARE aRoANINa. GO IN SAME PROPORTION. AND
ARE HERE FOB YOUR INSPECTION AND PUR-
CHASE. EVERY GARMENT GUARANTEED TO BE
MORE THAN FULL VALUE; IN FACT NEARLY
AND HALF WHAT rs CHARGED FOR SAME
GOODS AT OTHER PLACES OR MONEY RE-
FUNDED.
THE GOLDEN EAGLE CLOTHING COMPANY,
NO. 400 7TH ST. N. W. COR D.
oc10-eo3m
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-11-02
BAsaAns Ar Tn PA1Ars RorAL

nyoun remainder that the Manufacturer who has
surplus stock to dispose Of who Il in need Of funds
eessss a'sf ssees tie merchant sho does easA bssine
you VII understand that The Paais Royal has unusual
Opportunities for advantageous purchssea
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-11-02
Best BAReA1ss FoR Men.

75c. for Fisk. Clark Flagss new Knot scarfs is
Twenty-Five Cents Cheaper than elsephers" said
Mr.. Porter.
47c for choice Of the "Gladstone" Puff Scarf the
Fexible-knot Scarf, and the Improved Fourth hand
"our best bargain, whsn sou consdsr The qualify If
silks used and the pariev Of patterns shosn" our
buyer says.
2Oc three for &c., for the best Linen Collars and
Cuffs for 25c. mo reason TO give Csc for collars
40c for c,fs You pay for name then, not for real
raiue." 30 says Porter
for 25c. Collars and 20c Cuffs will bear COMPARE
son in shapes and quality with those usually sold at
higher prices "You knoe Why" said the buyer to the
writer
81 for Dress Shirt that will 1T Short and stout or
tall and thin men, with unusually short long arma
can't wear the same shaped shirt, though they may
wear the same size collar We know that and have %
different sizes As with the Collars and CUFFS Of
own manufacture, the Palais Royal" is stamped
on as guarantee Money refunded II unsatisfactory
why not oire the names Of Of shirt custom
erd" suggested the buyer. The we could quote
would surprise you. "
THE PALAIS ROYAL
CONTINUED below0
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-11-02

BEST BARGAINS In Shoes.
MEMS SLIPPERS
AT &2-velvet Slippers in Blue, Red and Old Gold
AT S150-Alligator Slippers "Whsre else wilI YOU
see so much Cosfpss for the money!" the buyer re-
marked and evidently expecting no reply.
BOYS BOOTS
Hanan Sons, of New York. Boys Calf Boots. But
ton and Lace.
Sizes IL to 2, for e. so pair.
Sizes ~ to 81, for 81. rs pair
"Too good quality for boys scear. for they 'front.' oirs
$sor boys Shoes ami feo ciu believe that
closing these boots out at cost"
But they know Of Hanan Sons, limited the writer
"TheJ eU that do ioiH buy" answered the Shoe man.
LADIES' BOOTS
AT $4.-straight Goat Button Boots Common Sense
last. Warranted hand sewed
AT s4.-Dongola Kid Button Boots Pointed toes
Warranted hsndsewed.
II don't believe there u readv. made boot elseichere
in toacn that wiH in any ,cav equal these" satd the
buyer.
THE PALAIs ROYAL.
Continued below)
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-11-02

Coat, 5oc-; Pants. Csc; Vests. csc. Altering ana
S1ksannS o2ns IN oeet manner Goods cslled for and
KIHAHN, 7os 9th IT. q. ".
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-11-02
CLOTHING.

AM Doc
CAN MAKE BOTH ENDS MEET BY TAKING Hn
TAIL IN HIS MOUTH
WE TAKE OUR rALE IN OUR MOUTH
10 SHOW You HOW TO
MAKE BOTH ENDS MEET.
OUR TRADE Is TRUE. AND II you HERD IT n
WILL ENRICH YOU. BIZ ECONOMICAL AND
TRADE WITH ADLER.
And you viii have no trouble An making both ends
ADLER sHoRTENs THE PRICES
ADLER SLAVES THE PROFITS
ADLER SAVES YOU MONEY.
OUR TALE Is NOT TWISTED
To suit our own purpose. Every customer yin -
roeorate our statements and support our claim fos
best goods st lowest prices
WE CUT OUR TALE SHORT
With the invitations 10 every 20 come and b. no.
sonally convinced that there is no rOmAncins with
VICTOR Il. ADLER's
10 PER CENT CLOTHING HOUSE 10
927 and ses 9TH St NV. corner Massachusetts ava
Strictly One Price
Open Saturdays till pm oc3o
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-11-02
DIsTANcEp,
COMPETITION NOWHERE OAK HALL STANDS
UNEQUALLED AND ALONE.

FOR MEN-Pure worsted Corkscrew Suits at s1o
SOLO nowhere under els. Good Business Suits at
prince Albert Suits at els; worth s22. Splendid
Quality Prince Albert Suits al els; worth s25. Ele-
giant Quality Prince Albert Suits at x22 worth $50
Finest Quality satnlined Prince Albert suits s25
worth $40 Finest kersey Coachman's Livery Coats
at 20 per cent below other stores Double breasted
Chinchtlla Coats and Vests at So worth Sll Best
worth el6 Fine Broadcloth Full Dress Suits and
prouoie breasted Frock suits made up equal 20 the
price In 0vercoats we have q magnificent assort-
ment In light, medium. and heavy weights ranging in
prices from 50 for good strong knock about Over
coat TO nne, lined Monagnac Chnchilla for
e25, sells usually at $50.
FOR BOYS IA TO years our line of suits and over
coats Is simply complete and You can just
third In price by buying Of US. For boys to 13 our
ne OF two and three piece suits plain and cape
AL competitors.
Best line q Odd Pants in the city at onethir below
the prices Of houses in the city.
OAK HALL,
n2 Corner 10th and SITS NV
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-11-02
OPENING" Or ANNEXED Srosr

'OPrx1Sa" o. Assr1rD Srosr
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 5TH, 'ss.
WOODWARD LOTHROP BEG TO AN.
NoUNcE TO THEIR CUSTOMERS AND
FRIENDS THAT THEY WILL OPEN
THEIR NEW STORE, RECENTLY AN
NExED AND CONNECTED WITH THE
MAIN STORE BY LARGE ARcHwAY.
ON MONDAY. NOVEMBER 5TH.
NINETEEN MONTHS AGO WE MOVED
INTO OUR PRESENT ELEGANT STORE,
AND THOUGHT WE HAD SUFFICIENT
ROOM FOR MANY YEARS TO COME.
THE FIRST YEARS BUSINESS CON.
WINGED Us. HOWEVER. THAT VERY
SOON OUR STEADILY INCREASING
PATRONAGE WOULD REQUIRE LARGER
AND DETER ACCOMMODATIONS.
WHICH WE HAVE FORTUNATELY OBJ
TANNED IN THE PROPERTY IMME-
DIATELY ADJOINING ON F STREET,
OWNED AND OCCUPIED BY wM
PRINCE, AS A DYEINa AND CLEANING
ESTABLISHMENT. HE REMOVING TO
NO. sos SIXTH STREET NORTHWEST,
AND LEASING US HIS BUILDING,
WHICH WE HAVE REMoDELED AND
IMPROVED IN THE MOST sUBsTAN-
TIAL MANNER, THE WORK BEING
DONE UNDER THE DIRECTION AND
SUPERVISION OF MIR. CHAs. EDMON-
sToN.
BY THE COURTESY OF MR.. CALDERoN
CARLISLE. THE OWNER OF THE MAIN
STORE, WE HAVE CONNECTED THE AD-
JOINING BUILDING BY A HANDSOME
ARCHwAY, THUS ADDING 2,5OOsQUA
FEET TO OUR FIRST FLOOR.
THE CEILINGS AND WALLS HAVE
BEEN HANDSOMELY DECORATED BY
EMMERT QUARTERLY, AND WE CON-
FIDENTLY INVITE YOUR INSPECTION
AND CRITICISM. BELIEVING WE HAVE
THE HANDsoMEsT AND BEST LIGHTED
STORE IN WASHINGTON.
WE INVITE ATTENTION TO SOME OF
THE PRINCIPLES UPON WHICH WE Es-
TABLIsHED OUR BUSINESS IN 1880 VIZ:
FIRST.
TO SELL ONLY SUCH GOODS AS HAVE
AN INTRINSIC VALUE.
SECOND.
TO HAVE GONE PRICE ONLY" AND
NO DEVIATION WHATEVER
THIRD.
TO GUARANTEE THAT PRICE TO BE
THE LOWEST FOR WHICH EQUAL
QUALITIES CAN BE BOUGHT IN THE
UNITED STATES.
FOURTH.
TO REFUND THE MONEY FOR ALL
GOODS RETURNED IN THE CONDITION
BOUGHT
WE SHALL LOCATE IN OUR NEW
STORE THE SILKS, DRESS GOODS,
BLACK GOODS, vELvETs AND PLUsHEs,
THAT THEY MAY BE SEEN TOGREATER
ADVANTAGE.
THE BRIC-A-BRAC, HOLIDAY CHINA.
WARE, ORNAMENTS AND STATION.
cry WILL OCCUPY THE SPACE VA
GATED BY THE DRESS GOODS. OTHER
CHANGES OF MINOR IMPORTANCE
WILL BE MADE. AND THE DEPART.
MENTs ARRANGED WITH A VIEW OF
STILL FURTHER FACILITATING THE
BUSINESS AND INCREASING THE COM.
FORT AND CONVENIENCE OF DUB
CUSTOMERS.
CORDIAL INVITATION is EXTEND
ED TO STRANGERS TO LOOK THROUGH
THE STORE. THEY WILL NOT BE I'M
PORTUNED TO BUY, AND WE HAVE
ESTABLISHED
BUREAU OF INFORMATION
EXPRESSLY FOR THEIR BENEFIT.
sATCHELs. WRAPS. PARCELS, AND
OTHER ARTICLES INVOLVEMENT TO
CARRY WITH YOU THROUGH THE
STORE, WILL BE CHECKED AND CARED
FOR. QUESTIONS WILL BE AN.
swERED RELATIVE TO THE ARRIVAL
AND DEPARTURE OF TRAINS, BOATS
AND MAILS; THE LOCATION. OPENING
AND CLOSING OF PUBLIC BUILDINGS
&c.
REMEMBER THE ''oPENING" DAY,
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 8.
IT WILL ALSO BE "oPENINa" DAY
IN EVERY ONE OF OUR FORTY DE-
PAYMENTS. AS EACH AND EVERY
ONE WILL DISPLAY THE VERY LATEST
AND MOST DESIRABLE GOODS OF
THIS SEASONS PRODUCTIONS.
FOR FURTHER INFORMATION SEE
THIS SPACE TOMORROW.
WOODWARD 4 LoTHRoP,
n2 Cor 11th and Sta. NV.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-11-02

sAKs AND COMPANY.
OF THE cH11pRRNs rSrvprsra
SEVENTH STREET AND MARKET SPACE
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-11-02

We have Just put in line Of SILKS, which we have
closed out from of the largest importers in New
York city, and we afford to sell them at 25 per
cent less than you will have to for them elsewhere
BLACK SILKS
Another special offer in Black Silks, which we have
Just closed out from the largest importer of Silks in
New York Below we mention only Q few special
numbers.
20-inch Black, all-silk Rhadame regular price, sl
our price, 75c. per yard.
21.inch Black Surah Warranted all silk. regular
price, &c.; our price, Toe.
2O-inch Black Gros Grain (wear guaranteed which
would be bargain at 81 Us; our price, 81.
19-inch Black Faille Francois warranted pure silk
and good value at 81 90; our price, 81.
21inch Black Faille Francois, warranted all silk and
cheap at 8 3S; our price, $1.15.
21-inch Black Moire, warranted all silk and actually
worth 81 30; our price, $1.25.
better quality at s1.5O; sctual value, s1.75.
These moires are Of foreign make and are not
creased In the center)
Anshades colored Moires 81 so per yard
CLoAKINGs.
We have them in all the new cloths, in Stripes,
Plaids and Plain Goods. PRICES VERY Low.
"a Heavy Beaver Cloths in plain colors for cloaks
in all shades at e. 80 per yard.
"a Heavy Beaver Cloths for cloaks in stripes and
plaids from $L75 to 81. rs per yard
All colors in Asrachans for cloaks and for trimming
Of same at $1.25 per yard.
HoUsEFURNIsHINa GOODS
25 Table Covers. yards long: style; Turkey Red,
Navy Blue plaid. regular price, ga close at s225
Is pieces 62-inch Cream Table Damaak elegant value
for 60c.; our price, 4Sc.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-11-02

No Man CAx Fxn Or.
THERE ARE SOME THINGS mo MAN
CAN FIND OUT"
WHAT PARTICULAR PLAN WILL BE
USED IN THE RETAIL FURNITURE, CAR
PET, AND STOVE TRADE FIFTY YEARS
FROM NOW is SOMETHING NO MAN CAN
PRoPHEsY.
WHAT SORT OF ADVERTISEMENTS
WILL APPEAR, OR HOW THE NEWSPAPERS
WILL LOOK FIFTY YEARS HENCE, THESE
NO MAN CAN VENTURE TO PREDICT.
THESE ARE CONDITIONS DEPENDENT
UPON THE CHANGES TIME WORKS. AL
MOST EVERYTHING CHANGES, BUT NOT
EVERYTHING 1T Is USUAL TO SAY THAT
EVERYTHING BECOMES ALTERED IN
TIME; BUT THAT ISN'T so.
FOR EXAMPLE:
IN THEIR RELATIONS TO ONE ANOTHER
MEN HAVE ALWAYS BEEN SOMEWHAT
CONFIDING AND TRUSTING THIS IsTHE
BASIS OF UNIVERSAL COMMERCIAL IN
TERCoURSE. IT is THE KEYSTONE OF
CREDIT. AND HONESTY OF PURPOSE,
INTEGRITY OF CHARACTER, UPRIGHT
NESS OF CONDUCT, FIDELITY TO oBII-
GATIoNs-THEsE ARE THE THINGS THAT
NEVER CHANGE. FIFTY YEARS FROM
NOW THESE QUALITIES WILL BE AS I'M
PoRTANT AND ESSENTIAL FACTORS IN
HONORABLE BUSINESS TRANSACTIONS
AS THEY ARE TO-DAY. OR WERE FIFTY
YEARS AGO.
IF YOU WILL STRIVE AS HARD TO EMU
LATE THE UNCHANGEABLE GOODNESS
AS YOU DO TO PIERCE THE IMpENRrRA,
BILE FUTURE. WE WILL BE GLAD nc SEE
YOU AND TO OPEN AN ACCOUNT WITH
A00'
HOUSE Z HERMANrs
CASH AND CREDIT
FURNITURE CARPET AND srorE HOUSE
o2l AND s2s SEVENTH STREET NV.
AND 6se MASS AvxJuK
oc1-2m
S sss5iSs zg !, :. =. .,.,. ,,so. ana
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-11-02

SEAL SKrS
.lsACQUER Sc 10 le inches loss el2s. $50. s17A
JACKETS, 22 TO 36 inches Loo. 600. e12o. $50
NNEw AAkkETs, 1925. e35s a,..s .,,n.
SEAL FIUH.
n Long and Short Wraps, li1.d and anshed Ike our
prices s2 } ne 81 SsSAss ga AZ sfHRSfi1rxes
n H 6TINMETZ SOM
nttcu and furT1ora,
oc31 1897 PsnnA svs.1 through 70 Az 18th st.
= XDfE5 w6o ARE DING FALL SHOPPING
Avil DO well 70 have ma their Closks for euitlpg
C.sts I'D kdisg HAfsss 20 ares mAE'ns sassr NE
II AH0FTNlN. LAdies Tailor.
claes hnish q short not IN most fsshionabe sllss
aud moosssse pcoe~ ooSA-~
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-11-02
ON WoRD About Bors CrorH,sa

THERE NEVER WAS TINE WHEN THE
BOYS WANTS WE'RE 90 CAREFULLY
LOOKED AFTER AS NOW, WHEN ONE
COULD FIND AS eENTEEL AND STYLISH
GOODS FOR THE SAME MONEY.
THE ROUGH cHEvIoT GOODS ARE THE
MOST POPULAR THIS SEASON. WE HAVE
THESE IN LARGE VARIETY ALSO THE
sNooTH-FAcEp cAssIMEREs. TRIcors
AND woRsTEDs
FOR THE BOYS FROM 10 10 Is YEARS
THE SUITS WITH VESTS ARE MUCH WORM
IN ovERcoATs -CAPEs" ARE WORN BY
BOYS OF ALL AGES.
WILL BE PLEASED TO HAVE YOU LOOK
AT OUR STOCK, THE LARGEST AND
FINEST WE EVER HAD.
Z B. BARNUM 4 co.
NJ e31 PENNSYLVANIA AVE
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-11-02
THREE UMBRELLA BAReA1Ss.

S24S each for 2S.inch genuine "Gloria" Umbrellas,
with very beautiful roll-sold and sterling silver
handles, in entirely styles.
$34S each for the genuine "Conestoga" Umbrellas.
The name Conesto0d Ia each Umbrella guarantee
that Wen recover it free of charge should it split
within ayear.
You ought to tell Of the gentleman echo paid &7.75 for
Umbrella identical to those zoe eel at $56S"-The
buyers suggestion.
THE PALAIS ROYAL
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-11-02
F. a a { E.. a 4 4 :: ::
= Sc y 4 :.
EE s.s$s Il ssafk 8 GO g Il f IN
+ # ssss TIT
ILL II ssss I

FOR SATURDAY, NOVEMBER Sd.
In the absence Of Mr. Lisner this morning, the ID
verisins man interviewed the buyers for the various
departments. to each Of whom put this question.
What is re best valus you hare in oekf" You'll nnd
the answers below
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-11-02
THn BEsr War BAnaA1sa.

Continued below,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-11-02
Best HAsDxxncH1rr BAne.,ss.

Continued below.)
The morning news., 1888-05-11
The Story of a Widow.

A business man. says the New York EUenin1
san, who lives a little way above the Harlem
not long since sold some buckwheat to a Door
woman in his neighborhood. She had no money
then, but promised to pay him some day. She
stopped his wife who was driving by the house
one day. to give her the money, and apologized
for the delay by saying that she was a poor
widow with a large family to care for, She told
how hard she and her little boys worked in her
garden patch, how early they were all up every
morning and yet how difficult it was to make
both ends meet, even though they did work
hard and dong.
The lady felt sorry for her, and tried to com
fort her by saying so good-looking a woman
as she should marry again.
why, Mrs. c., | would, - she said, "but who
would have me with this big family?"
Lots would" replied Mrs. c. 81 know two
or three who would be tickled to death if they
had half a chance I'll send them around"
You be sure to do it," said the widow, as
Mrs. c. drove off laughing.
Mrs. c. forgot all about the widow and the
rash promise till few weeks after, when she
was passing the house. The widow stopped her
again and seriously asked her why none of the
gentlemen she had spoken of had called. Poor
Mrs. G. saw her joke had been no Joke to the
widow. she blushed and stammered not know
ing what to say that would not hurt her pride.
an at last explained that after she had thought
over the matter she had concluded none of the
men she had spoken of would do, as the widow
would be too particular.
"Why, Mrs. c." said the widow, I'm not at
all particular, All l want is a man who can
pull weeds"
The morning news., 1888-05-11
BRIGHT BITS

BRowN-What's the matter, Dumley? You
look hot about something.
Dumley (angrly}-HOtl | should say 80.
was around at the Eagle just now, and that fool
Feathery dropped chunk of ice down my
back. Enough to make any man hotl-NeW
York Sun.
A FAMILY MAGAZINE contains a formula for
making SOAP which winds up this way: "Then
let the frugal housewife sit on the stove and stir
constantly" We'll we should say she would
stir constantly if seated on hot stove 1t is
safe TO say the recipe won't be used very extern
sively.-Sturdg oak.
ToTo observing hand organ grinder and his
monkey)-Oh, mamma, may | give him my
cake?
Mamma--Yes, dear, but be careful that he
doesn't bite you.
Toto-Oh, mamma, the little boy doesn't want
it; may give it to his papa?To,cR Topics.
He had been walking up and down the room
with the baby for two hours.
"John, said his wife from among the pillows
you don't look very well of late, I'm afraid
you don't get exercise enough"
John laid the baby in the crib with its feet
on thes pillow, and went to sleep.-Harper'S
Bdzdr.
HusBAND-Have the couple who just moved
into the house next door any childrenf
Wife-Chidren They've only been married
a day or two.
How do you know ?"
Before he started down town this morning
he kissed her, and he didn't act as if he was
dIIdlu uo u SeO ulJ IL uo Oluu l. --OhltLhU
World
Mus. FLUTTERBY- What has become of your
old cook?
Mrs. Swallowtale-She gone to a better
place.
Mrs. F-Had fortune left her, Ell? Well
it's wonderful how those low people manage to
strike Oil
Mrs. S. (sadly)-Yes. She struck it with
match.-Nec York Star.
ROBINSON Ito Brown, who is keeping three of
Delmonico's walters busy)-Im surprised to see
you here, Brown.
Brown with weary air)I-YeS, sit down and
have something My folks are moving to-day,
/ would stop here and take in "Ermine' to-
night This moving business, Robinson, is
tough on a man.-NeU York sun.
PHYSICIAN Ito patientl-YOur pulse is quite
normal Miss Spnster; will you kindly allow me
to look at your tongue?
Miss Spinster Showing her tonguel-Cer
tainlY, doctr, um globble was out t funeral
lestidy an glot-my-fleet wet an
Physiclan-My dear Miss Spinster, if you will
let your tongue remain quiet moment l can
better diagnose your case.-Epoch.
THAT ARTICLE in yesterdays paper does me
an injustice, sir, and l want it corrected, - said
an irate business man to the editor.
"What was the incorrect stltement?" asked
the editor
1T said | was about to reduce my workmen's
wages per cent. 1t is wrong, sir, and l de-
mand correction. 1t does me a rank Injustice
sir-a rank injustice
''What was wrong about it?"
at should have b0en 10 per cent, sir; not 5
per cent."-1naeric0.
The morning news., 1888-05-11

Since the dinner in New York on Gen.
Grants birthday there has been consider
able talk about the dispatch, as given in the
newspapers, which Mr.. Cleveland sent to
Gen. Sherman. 1t was short and, perhaps,
inadequate, being as follows: "Will recall
with heartfelt homage the virtues and
achievements of this illustrious American. .
1t now turns out that the original dispatch
was much fuller, as follows: 81 am sorry
that cannot be with you tonight as you
celebrate the birthday of Gen. Grant, but
| shall not fail TO join the thousands of his
fellow citizens who at this Uime will recall
with heartfelt homage the virtues and
achievements of this illustrious American. "
There are not few people who wonder if
it was not by design and not mere accident
that only the last few words of the dispatch
were given TO the press.
The morning news., 1888-05-11
Didn't Keep That Size.

Judge Parker, the diminutive assistant city
attorney of St. Paul, says The NeiCS, is some
thing Of a wag, as his numerous quaint remarks
and SLY digs at the reporters would seem to in
dictate. When engaged in the discharge of his
legal duties he is as dgn1ed and solemn as an
owl, and even then there is a mschievous
twinkle in his eye; but when he is at leisure the
man who scores point against HIM in repartee
is lily of the valley. A few days ago the
judge, suddenly becoming aware Of the fact
that his hat was beginning to look like an
archaeological specimen dropped into a hat
store. Tie clerk danced to the front and softly
greeted him with effusion.
81 want a hat. said the judge.
I what size, sir?'
"Seven and eeven-eighths.
81 beg pardon, sir, but what was the size?'
asked the clerk, with puzzled air
Seven and eleven eightas. " repeated Judge
Parker. looking as sober as a parson.
The hat man paused to scratch his head, and
walked slowly to the other end of the store He
rummaged through his stock, and finally came
back to where the Judge stood.
Sorry sir, but haven't hat of that size in
stock
Then bring me the largest size you have"
The clerk did so, and succeeded in fitting tho
large Uranium of the Judge, who paid for the
tile, and walked out with a smile reaching to
the back of his neck. The hat man, probably,
is still figuring on "seven and eleven-eighths -"
and wondering where in hades the Judge picked
up that size.