davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1888-03-01
HUMOROUS.

We suppose that lady who has I
little daughter named pearl" woult
be mother of pearl-Drake's Magazine
-" Mamma, is a shepherd a maj
who tends the Sheep" "Yes, my
DEAR" "Well. is a coward a mar
who tends to cows?" mo. my dear
but women are when they see one. y
Harper's BazGr
Wife it true, hubby. that al
cohol will take stains out of silk?''
Husband" Yes, dear" Wife-.Well
please breathe out these grease spots.
there's a darling" He obeys and
burns a hole in it.-7o,On Topics.
Tho man who robs you ON the road,
A highwaymau is he;
The grocer giving you light weight
A low weigh man must be.
-Northwest Trade.
"A clergyman. on sultry after
noon, paused in his sermon and said:
Il saw an advertisement for five hum
dred sleepers for railroad. think !
could supply at least fifty. and recon-
mend them as good and sound"
MIR. McCorkle Gan attenuated dude
standing before portrait of a broad
chested warrior-like ancestor)-"I
tell you. Miss Nivens, I'm no snob.
tut I'm proud Of my descent. " Miss
Nivens-"You should be. Mr.. Nc
Corkle; it has been 3 great one! -
Life.
"A concert once took place in re-
mote Scotch village. 1t was the talk
of every one the next day. One of the
village lassies who had not been there
said to another who had been present:
Ibid ony o. the singers get an in
corea" The other replied tsmartly.
"Hoo div ken what they got? They
were a. ta'en into a room BY their
sells. "-Scosiish Amcrican.
Young Wife Cat dinner table. sob
bing)-..I think you-you-are just as
moan as-as-you can be. I made
that-that apple dumpling ~ pleas
ant surprise for you. and-and now
you-want me 70 bring . handsaw to
cut it in two with" Young Husband
-..Good heavens. Maria! Il that \
dnmplingr took it for . cocoanut
I'll eat It now. Maria. II it kills me-
Chicago 1ri1sne.
A Lucky Woman--New Girl
"Piease. ma'sm, there's Grape on the
door opposite. Mistress = "Yes, ]
heard about il The lady in the house
lost both Of her children last night BY
and ! am going over to eco
what assistance can rrnder. She has
NO girl, 1 understand" NG.-"No'm.
She's got NO gurrL Icame neaf bein'
caught there myself but heard about
the children IN TINA" NJ Heard they
he'd diphtheriaf'' n. c.. Oh. theJ
was we'll enough them She's lucky
woman. she Is mA'am /" NJ Lackyr'
n G-.Yes indeed, ma'an- Now
she can advertise that has got no
s,ildrsn. ard abe can gst : good gurrI
% Z minute, msssm, zS4 nd
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1888-03-01
PAIRING IN CONGRESS.

Tho Way In Which Absent Members Keep
from Losing Their Votes.
The committee on "pairs'' ceased to
exist during the Forty-eighth Con-
gress. Two popular young members
had been appointed to that duty for
the Democrats. One of them was from
Pennsylvania. The other was
Southern man. One day. just before
an important vote was taken, the
Southern man walked up to the Dep
uty Sergeant-at-Arms in an unsteady
and dazed condition. with the pair
book under his arm. He had been
paired himself for about a week,
and was not yet recovered. His eyes
were still red and his tongue thick.
''Tell Mishter Post t. tak-care-that,"
he said. as he balanced himself before the
deputy. He laid the book on the table
and went away. In the book were the
names of twenty Democrats who
wanted to be ''paired" None of them
mad been cared for, and the vote was
coming on. When the book was given
to Mr.. Post and the circumstance ex-
planned he refused to have any thing
to do with it. He said he did not pro-
pose to play private secretary to any
member, and from that moment he re-
fused to serve on the committee"
No other member could be got to take
hold of it after that, and many lost
their votes on that occasion.
The deputy had to hold the book, and
has had to attend to pairs since.
He is now called by members '.the
pair man." He is an odd and original
genius.
Don't you know" he said to me
the other day. ''it is the hardest work
l ever did. Looking up votes at a
ward election is not circumstance to
it In a single day have been called
upon to find pairs for two-thirds of
the members. Why, this session, just
three days before the holiday recess,
I paired eighty members in one day.
''During the Forty eighth Con-
grcss William Pitt Kellogg and Casey
Young were paired all the while.
They came to me at the beginning of
the session and asked to have their |
pair announced until further no
tice.' They went and returned. and
went away again, and still their pair
stood until further notice Some
times they would both be in the
House. but still they said: Let it
stand One day MIR. Kellogg voted.
l went over to him quietly and told
him he was paired oh. that
doesn't matter he replied. let it go.
Young understands it The next day
Mr.. Young voted on some matter he
was interested in.
$50 they let it 60 on through the
whole Congress. voting when they
wanted tn. but always staying paired.
1t looked funny in the Record to see the
pair and vote both announced, but
they did not care.
There are three kinds of ''pairs"
in Congress. There is the
.'pair until further notice, on all polit-
ical questions" the pair '.for this
day." and the pair '.for this vote"
which members get when they are to
be gone but short time. The pair is
merely an agreement between two
members who would vote differcntly
that neither will vote when the other
10 away.-Phiiodelphia Telegraph
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1888-03-01
"Me AND BOB AND JIM"

Yes, sir, we're sailors children;
We live there by the sea
And father went on with the deet
A month ago. may be,
And mother feels so badly
To have HIM gone away,
If 'twasn't for US children hero
think she'd cry all day.
You see there's me and Bobby,
And then here's little jim,
He always hangs back cause he's 'fraid
That folks will speak to hum.
He never knew his mother,
She died SO long ago.
And then his father. too, was lost
In last years awful blow.
And father said as long as
He'd sailors heart in him,
sThere'd always surely be place
To shelter little jim.
He thinks he's ours for truly,
And laughs and acts SO glad
When father comes, you ought to sec
Him hug, and call him Dad"
But often in the summer
We children like to go
To where the little church-yard lies
The sailors church, you know.
His mothers there, so always
We put some flowers from Jim,
We want him to remember her,
Cause she remembers him.
When father sailed he told US
To watch for the new moon,
For when 1t hung there in the west
The feet would be back soon.
Last night We saw il shining
As bright as bright could be,
And mother says the Lively Jane''
Will soon get in from sea.
You see it's named for mother,
And father says he'd ''think
A boat that had q name like that
Would never want to S NIX"
We've come back here to get some flower
He loves the violets SO,
The posies amt of much account
Down by the sea, you know.
So il you'll come and see US
The place amt hard to find,
That little brown house by the rocks,
The cl II is just behind
And II the Lively Jane" is in
With father-you'll see him;
But, anyway, you always can
Find me, and Bob and Jim.
-Aia SteU0rt Shelton, in ChurcAmdn.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1888-03-01

The entire wheat crop Of the
United States could be grown of Da-
kota's wheat land If titled. and even
then there would remain . vacant area
larger than the combined surface Of
the States of New York.. Maryland.
Vermont. New Hampshire New Jer-
sey. Massachusetts,, Connecticut Del
aware and Rhode Island.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1888-03-01

The Stoughton Musical Society
has just celebrated its 101st birthday
ut Randolph. Mass. It i one Of the
oldest musical organizatioss in the
United States. and r-any noted Ne~
England musicians have belonged to
Il
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1888-03-01

tiee. Isis value In chang ofie. The a.
18BBELLDYE0 ALE TON &C duringpreg.
promotes speedy recovery. Il assists nature 70
6afely mako the critical change from Ririhood -
Vomanhood. 1tispleAsantto the taste and may ~
taken as al tines with perfect safety. RTee, o..
FOR eALl DY ALI. DRUGGISTS.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1888-03-01
S;IAcoHS OF.
!. s. !.
N EU RALoIA.

NEURALGIA
wesveo.-Evayone Of the thread-hks ne-
has sach lafent power 10 cnassa ezcrucio1.
ING pain, tho limit q which b simply t.
limit o. human endurance, and NsuaSIoaA
nes ew Of these 6hcouS togmnts Ill pulG.
Ing painfully st ooce.
CHARACTERISIICA
subtitle Paia.-Nothine d % subtle In II
approach: nothing 90 nagTant, acuts and
distressing, and certainly nothing yet dis-
covered 90 completely subdues ID avaeo
ana % permanently conQueD Id panR =
thas above mentioned.
SYAPTO1GA
Synpte1s.-Neuralgis b defined 10 b
nerve disease, the chief symptom Of which
p IN acute pain, intermitting. which FOL.
lowsthe course Of the nerve branch affected.
TREATMENT.
treatueat.-Apply 81. JAcoss On frequent
~, gently rubbing the afflicted parts; apply
to the whole extent Of the nerve soreness:
keep up . gentle friction until burning
sensation i produced.
Sid b Dvs0gias asd Dealers EteysA9&
Me CHARLES 4. voeEtEa CO. sali~iss. ~.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1888-03-01

second week was stopped by bank
of rocks and earth. and when tho
second week closed I was drifting q
tunnel to the left. 1t was slower work
than you would think for. The snow
was packed very solid. and all dug
out had to be thrown behind me, and
eventually carried off and scattered il
some hole under the tree tops. Every
few feet I met with big rock or the
trunk of tree. and it was hard work
to get around such distractions
Again q cave-in would take place 10
hinder further progress for . day or
two. and I finally came to the con-
clusion that could never get out BY
tunneling.
/ started in on the third week more
to be at work than from any hope Of
escape. All that week I tunneled to
the right again. and at three o'clock
on Saturday afternoon broke into my
own tunnel. In other words 1 had
donc ~ . man does when lost in the
wooda 1 made half circle and came
back on myself. while all tho time I
felt sure was going straight ahead
The fourth week was spent mostly in
the house. / was now becoming much
weaker. aud was ready to give mp. It
was ON the thirty-iifth night that the
cabin Sbegan groaning and ,ncking
again and knew that The snow was
..Axlsr~ Acum er<un.l e IT,.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1888-03-01

Sead b Drs0gias asd Dealers EssyUA9e
Ine CHARLES 4. voeElEn CO., BalsinSss, %.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1888-08-25

The popularity of the French coach
horse Is rapidly increasing to meet the de-
mand for fine coach horses in this country
A prominent exporter of large carriage
and coach horses said recently on the sub
ject: my opinion and experience of
twenty-five years in the handling and
shipping Of all kinds of horses is that
there is one kind of horse that Is profit
able for the farmers to raise besides the
draught. and that is fine, large carriage
horse. with breeding, style, size, quality
and action This kind of horse has
been almost wholly neglected. and there
never was such a scarcity as today of
suitable geldings for the eastern markets
and for export. Just think Of It'll 1t
takes us six months to get shipment
suitable for European markets, and our
last shipment averaged in cost over $500
each. So you see the prices that gentle
men pay in this country for nice, high
stepping pairs. There are two profitable
breeds for the farmer-the draught and
coach horses-and believe the French
coacher comes nearer the wants than any
breed yet introduced to America.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1888-08-25
A MODEL MANURE PILE.

Fig. ! in the cut represents, says
Country Gentleman, q manure pile where
these objections are avoided. When the
manure Is wheeled out, the foundation is
laid or the base formed in the shape Of q
regular parallelogram. by driving stakes
at the corners; and il the pile is large
or long one. inserting stakes occasionally
at the sides. A wide plank, as shown at
Fig. 2, allows the wheelbarrow to dis.
charge its load, and one or more pieces Of
plank laid on the top facilitates the work
In this way. the manure Is wheeled out
and placed where it Is wanted, with less
labor than for an irregular heap. 1t is
not necessary to make this heap very
high, if suitable length or breadth is
given to it.
Such q pile may be made more or less
into compost heap, by spreading even
alternating layers Of any absorbent, such
as turf, loan. peat, &c. The thinner
these layers are the more perfectly the
ingredients will be intermixed when the
heap rots down Manure which is we'll
worked together and pulverized after de-
composition is more valuable than ma
nure in unmixed chunks or Jumps, and is
more evenly spread on land.
very Important req ulSlte III saving
and in manufacturing manure is to pre-
serve the right degree of moisture in the
heap. If large quantity of straw litter
has been used, it will need some liquid
addition, either by leaving it exposed to
rains or by turning the liquid manure
upon it. These requirements, which will
vary greatly with circumstances, will de-
eide whether to place the manure heaps
under spacious sheds or otherwise. This
care will be particularly needed in the
smaller heaps for garden use. In Fig.
hopper like holes are represented, which
have been cut with q sharp spade after
the heap was completed, into which wa
ter or other liquids may be poured to i'm.
part the right degree of moisture. to be
ascertained by inspection.
This systematic management will easily
admit the small addition of other fertil.
izers in thin layers. such as ground bone,
plaster. lime, ashes and guano. to give
additional strength. The manure thus
manufactured will be Of great value for
many purposes. although a largo proper
ton will be most conveniently and eco
nomically applied by spreading at once on
the fields as II accumulates from the sta.
bles.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1888-08-25
A CHEAP FODDER STAND.

A A are scantlings or poles Of any de-
sired length, each having two two inch
holes for the standards, c c &C, and
three two inch holes for the cross pieces,
B B b. The standards may be as high as
one may wish. The cross pieces should
be the width of your wagon.
is board two inches thick, and ought
not to be less than fourteen inches wide
and twelve feet long, with three-quarter
inch hole in one end and with cleats nailed
across to step on.
is a piece of scantling two by four
inches, spiked to the side pieces just in
front of the hind standards. having a
three quarter inch hole in the middle. E
is attached to F by five.eighth inch
bolt dropped throug IN the hole in the end
of E and middle of F; the other end of E
drags on the ground. The bottom of the
bed is made of loose plank laid on the
cross pieces B.
Take an armful of fodder. walk up the
plank, lay it across the bed at the front
end, put the next armful on top of the
first with the butts in the opposite direc-
ton. Begin unloading at the hind end of
the wagon. and continue to load till the
space between the standards are full. In
this way it is not necessary to step on the
fodder at all.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1888-08-25
TWO PLANS foa KEEPING GRAPES.


Hsv to Preserve Late Varieties ct Small
Expenditure Of Labor and Money.
There arc number of methods In use
for keeping the late varieties Of grapes 90
as to lengthen the season for this fruit.
These methods all depend for their sue
cess on the same conditions. In the first
place, II Is desirable that the fruit shall
retain it's bloom. hence great care in
handling 1t is necessary to prevent tha
branches coming In contact with each
other 1t is also necessary that imper
feet or bruised berries be clipped from
each bunch.
Following are two simple but effective
tage. wheth her the amount of fruit to be
saved be large or small. Both plans ad
init of the free circulation of an even
temperature around each bunch and pre-
vent the same from rubbing against each
other.
The first method Is to take new shoe or
soap boxes. or any other box of about the
same size. and nail cleats on the inside OF
the ends or sides about one inch from the
top, and between them bars ut various
distances. as required by the varying
length Of the bearing shoot cuttings.
The bars are made by mailing small
strip ON top Of each. AS late as possible,
cut off the bearing shoots containing the
punches, with pruning shears. and
shorten them so that they will so between
the end of the box and the top part of the
bar, resting on the bottom part. thus
hanging their punches in their natural
position BY this method the boxes can
be handled without shaking the shoots off
the bars. carried to the light, each bunch
examined rs winter advances, decaying
berries or lunches removed, and the best
kept without any moldy taste, as is SO
common when they are packed solid.
The second plan is equally simple. All
that is required are two or more iron or
wooden hoops, two lengths of wire to
every two hoops to hold them in position
and some string and the contrivance is
complete. When hung up it is the easiest
thing in the world to trim out decayed or
useless berries; in fact, the stock of grapes
can be kept in good condition without
even shifting the contrvance at all.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1888-08-25
PARIs pOsTOFFICE ELEvAIORs

transferred from any one story to another as
easily and promptly as by Il wave Of the
hand. A famous engineering firm devised
and completed the entire apparatus and put
it in place and in working order in five
months from the time they first received the
order The work was expedited by the use
of the old steam and heating machinery,
over which they raised the pneumatic and
hosting structure 1t is to be noted that the
rapid transfer is for letters and the slower
for packages, and it is estimated that with
this machinery all the mails from all sections
of the world may be distributed and boxed
or reshipped so rapidly and easily that there
will be no delay or accumulation, even If the
amount should suddenly be quadrupled.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1888-08-25
Arrangement of the Hair.

Low large braided coils, or else the hang
Ing atogan loops, are the fashionable Paris
ian arrangements of the back hair. The
preference here is for neither very high nor
very low coiffures, but for happy medium,
placed just back of the crown, whether in
soft tresses of hair or in closely braided
coil. Three Greek fillets of ribbon or Of gilt
are worn by English girls, while French
women are wearing wreath of roses or other
blossoms with their empire gowns Young
girls ar again beginning to wear aigrette
bows at the side or back of the hair. Other
coiffures for older women are intermixed
with tinsel flowers, but are equally becoming.
The shape of the head has to be much con-
sidered now, but with the hair worn high, 1t
IS possible to get most becoming headdresses.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1888-08-25

c. M. Clay. of Kentucky, writing on the
very common belief that when sheep are
killed for mutton with the feeces on them
the mutton Is rendered unpalatable on
account Of the wool taste, says it is all
nonsense about the wool affecting the
taste of the meat. He explains that 1.-The
bad taste is caused by the excretions of
the bowels going into the circulation when
the sheep are killed that gives the wool
favor. The intestines must be taken out
as quickly as possible; then you may
wrap it in wool and lay it on the ice fOr
days, and if there is any wool taste will
eat the sheep. skin, wool and all" Indi-
ana Farmer, commenting on the above,
says that if mutton is treated as Mr.. Clay
advises there need be no concern as to the
wool taste
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1888-08-25

AS soon as lameness is perceived the
animal should be examined. All loose
and diseased horn must be cut away with
a sharp knife, and any excessive growth
of horn at the toes removed, so that what
ever pus or matter is fond beneath the
horn may be able to escape. Many rene
dies are recommended with which to wash
the diseased parts. One method is to
wash the feet clean after the diseased
parts have been cut away with carbolic
soap and warm water twice per week, and
after each washing apply the following
mixture: Oxide of copper, four ounces;
arsenic, one-half ounce; ascetic acid. three
ounces, and honey, eight ounces. This
mixture can be applied with. little lint
or tow.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1888-08-25
Finger Rings.

Finger rings are exceedingly popular with
both sexes Fine diamonds, rubies, pearls, en-
eralds or sapphires, mounted as solitaire on
a slender ring of gold, is the ring most highly
coveted. Cluster rings are, however, in high
favor, and this style provides an admirable
setting for small colored stones Of fine quail
ity. The opal, by the by, figures largely in
these cluster rings, and is usually surrounded
by diamonds.
Colored jewels of all kinds are employed
in rings that show pleasing designs, made of
a combination stone setting, such as the three
band designs, each Of dfferen. stone and
worn on one finger. The effect is often
charming, as combination Of rubies, sap
phires and diamonds.
Twisted, cordlike rings Of gold and plati-
mum, also of silver, for mems wear, were
seen recently. There are also rings of gold
wire on which are mounted single uncut
stones of large size.
There is nothing new to tell as regards the
setting Of fine stones. For the fashionable
folk these are still set low, with little or no
gold showing.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1888-08-25

Mrs. John Gilpin would wear a short white
or brocaded dress with paniers and fichu
trimmed with lace; a large satin hat; tight
sleeves to wrist; hair poudre and a mob cap;
q large muslin apron would not be out Of
place, but 1T is not necessary. An Indian
queen wears short skirt of some Oriental
material, intersected with gold, the shoulders
covered with Indian gauze, tucked into either
q velvet bodice or into one made Of tanned
leather; full trousers to ankle of soft silk
Indian scarf round hips; Indian feather fan
and ornaments; oriental pointed shoes; pink
stockings; headdress, q jeweled crown, with
gauze veil depending. l have also seen the
character dressed in brown cuirass of satin
TO match the skirt; or black cloth, embroi-
dered with red, yellow and white grass, Dor
dered with cut leather fringe sandals, dia-
dem of eagles and vultures' feathers, a birds
wings in front, and great many beads for
jewellery.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1888-08-25
The Value of Red Clover.

The value of red clover is too well
known to need much said about 1t. II
can grow easily in any of the southern
states, and land should be planted with
clover to rest and fertilize it, and by TINS
rotating between clover for two or three
years and cultivated crops two years. the
condition of the land would be gradually
improved, larger crops secured. and the
clover would pay better while it occupied
the land than almost any crop that could
be grown. to say nothing of the great saw
ing of expense in buying fertilizers, neces
sary under the present system Of con
tinually using the ground with the same
crops.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1888-08-25

pillow, scraping cotton, and doing all kinds
Of farm work, he finally regained his lost
fortunes. He keenly felt the lack of educa-
ton, and in 1870 entered q school in Lonoker
from which he went to Mississippi college.
His health failed, and he continued his
studies at home. He was elected to the state
legislature in 1872 from Arkansas and Prairie
counties. He was also member of the ex-
traordinary session that called the constitu-
tional convention. In 1885 he was chosen
speaker of the house of the legislature He
successfully led the little band from Lonoke
during the trouble between Brooks and
Baxter. Mrs. Eagle, whose maiden name
was Mary r. Oldham, is spoken Of as the
Mrs Logan of Arkansas.