davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-04-09
BRIGHT BITS.

-, A Denver MAN has been arrested for stealing
three boxes of cigars of the value of SIC. a box.
The defense will be nsanity.-L1e.
SENATOR INGALLS, is a graduate of Williams
College, which may account for his proficiency
In wllllamsgate.-B Boston Transcript
YES. SIR" said Popnjay emphatically,
limited meanness. Burlington Free Press.
PAYING TELLER-Have you anything to iden-
tify yourself?
Farmer (who wants draft cashed) -Well-er
no. Oh, yes; just hold on. I've got my pho
tograph in my valise. -TeraS Siftin0s.
FIRST BURGLAR-Hello, Bill; get any swag:
Second burglaT-Ths bag full.
at'Whewi What did you strike2"
"Anti.poverty bureau, | guess leastways
there was lots in the draWers~-NeiU HdUen
Neus. .s .-- ----.
JoHNNuE- Mamma, why do they call ministers
doctors?
Aolner-L can't tell Johnnie.
Johnnie Perhaps it's because they are the
pillars of the church, mamma. 4LFonkers States
man.. 400
IT was q o'clock in the afternoon, and he got
out Of his chair and began to yawn.
What? It's only o clock
"Yaas, my deah boy but it's midnight in
London, don't cher knowP'-lSdp francisco
Chronicle.
FIRST THIEF-What did yer find in that lady's
satchel Bill?
Second THETA purse with little money in
it and a box of strawberries.
"EhY By Jinks! Take the strawberries back.
Don't care about bein' hauled up for grand
larceny. '-OntGhd World.
JACK ito young Callow)-That old gentleman
we just passed seemed to know you, Charley.
Young CallOw-Ha'aS, he's my father.
Jack-Why don't you recognize him?
Young Callow-To tell the truth, old boy,
never do in the street. He comes from rawther
poor family, y'know.-IIe Epoch.
OMAHA MAN-Been to the women congress at
Washington ell What is it forg
Distinguished Female-To remove the evils
which cry aloud.
well It's high time. For my part can't see
why any woman of sense should take a baby to
the theatre anyhow. "-ODldhd World.
ARDENT LOVER ION his knees)-Can you, then,
doubt my affection, darlingY 1t is eternal as
the everlasting as the valleys All ask
sweetheart, is your dear hand.
Languid beauty-ASk me paw, Georgia
Ardent lover (rising from his knees)-Ah-er
then, v our paw, darling. -Binghdmton ReplLb-
ticGn.
CRIMsoNBEAK-That violin of mine is over 100
years old.
Yeast-I thought as much.
''Why did you think so I'm sure it doesn't
show its age
well, it has an air of antiquity. heard you
playing 'Grandfathers Clock on it this morn
ing. "-Yonkers Statesman.
you SAY you heard both shots fred ~ asked
an Austin lawyer, VINO was cross examining a
witness in murder case.
YES, sah-heard bOfe shots. Dey was fired
simultaneously, sab"
Are you sure of that? p
Yes, sab; bofe OBJ 'em was fired simontane-
ously. l wasn't more than forty feet off at de
time"
But on the direct examination you swore the
shots were fired one after the other and now
you say they were fired simultaneously"
Lass pyh of hot txyaC .aJ
simultaneous like, one after anudder. - Teras
SiftinQS.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-04-09
1.auuer Marsh,s Eat Medium

Mrs Ann Diss Debar, the fat woman who
does the spook business IN Lawyer Marshs
house in New York, and who has succeeded
in getting a good deal of the crack Drained
old lawyers property, and who proposes to
get all of it, has become quite a famous
character in that city. She has remark
able history as an adventures, and has done
a good many curious things other than to
call up the ghosts of Raphael, Rembrandt
and Rubens to paint portraits for the mil
| lionaire Marsh.
| Mrs Diss Debar says she is the daughter
of King Ludwig, of Bavaria, but investi-
cation has shown that she is the daughter
of respectable Kentucky couple named
Solomon. In her early girlhood she evinced
depraved disposition. She was expelled
from the Packer Institute in Brooklyn,
but it was not until her parents
moved to Cincinnati that her esca-
pades became notorious She left
Cincinnati mysteriously, and when next
her parents heard of her she was at the
Beckel House in Dayton, O., apparently
dying of a hemorrhage. The physician
who was in attendance upon her discovered
JudI sue WAS anu Sll6 OUT
of bed and made her escape into the streets
She next appeared at a hospital i'll another
city, where she represented herself to be a
Princess who was subject to fits. Before
leaving the hospital she was caught in
the act of setting fire to mat
tress in one of the rooms. She sub
sequently passed several months in an
insane asylum, and then returned to her
Kentucky home, but soon disappeared an d
was heard of in Europe. About ten years
ago she created quite sensation in Balti-
more, where she went to deliver a lecture
on Romanism. A few days after her arrival
in that city she startled police circles by a
message that priest who lived in house
opposite her room had thrown bomb
through the window for the purpose of kill
ing her and preventing the lecture. The
detective who was sent to ivestigate the
case found that it was a trick TO advertise
herself. The woman again went home,
accompanied by Mr.. Diss Debar. whom she
said was her husband, and in a short while
the couple went to New York, where they
met Mr.. Marsh four years ago. Mr.. Marsh
! has been told that the woman is an adj
ventures, but her grip ON him is so firm
that his confidence in her is mistaken He
will be fortunate if he has enough of his
fortune left when he dies to pay his funeral
expenses.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-04-09
No inconsistency.

Some of Mr.. Cleveland's enemies are try
ing to make it appear that he cannot con-
sistently accept a denomination, because in
his letter accepting the nomination four
years ago he took strong grounds against a
second term. 1t may be interesting to re-
produce exactly what he did say on that
point. This is the portion of the letter to
which reference is made:
When an election to office shall be selec-
tion by the voters of one of their number
to assume for a time public trust instead
of his dedication to the profession of poll
tics; when the holders of the ballot quick
ened by a sense of duty, shall avenge truth
betrayed and pledges broken, and when
suffrages shall be altogether free and uncor-
rupted, full realization of a government
by the people will be at hand, and of the
means to this end not one would, in my
Judgment. be more effective than an amend
ment TO the constitution disqualifying a
President from reelection. When we con-
slider the patronage of this great office, the
allurements of power, the temptation TO
retain public places once gained, and,
more than all, the availability the
party finds in the incumbent, whom a
horde of office holders, with zeal born of
benefits received and fostered by the hope
of favors yet to come, stand ready to aid
with money and trained political service,
we recognize in the eligibility of a PreSi-
dent for reelection most serious danger
to that calm elaboration and integrity of
political action which must characterize
government by the people.
The above reasons against a second term
are excellent ones, and no doubt were
suggested by Republican practices, but they
present no Tar to Mr. Cleveland's accepting
denomination, nor would he be inconsist-
ent if he should accept one. He has not
used his office to secure another term. His
position is doubtless that he will do the best
he can, and leave to the people the question
of his successor, and this position is unques-
tionahly the right one The demand for
his denomination does not come from the
politicians, but from the people, aud the
politicians have fallen into line because
they could not do otherwise.
He favors n constitutional amendment
making a President ineligible for second
term, but that is no reason why he should
decline to be d candidate again if the people
want him. IL he thinks he ought
to inaugurate the movement for one term
by not accepting a denomination, he will
say so in good time, but if the people are
not anxious for that reform, and want him
for another term, he will not be open to the
charge of inconsistency if he complies with
their desire.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-04-09
Blair's District scheme.

Senator Blair, of Vermont, may not be
great man, but he is very active one He
introduces good many bills into Congress,
and some Of them make the sleepy Senators
keep their eyes open. His educational bill
has taken up more of the time of the Senate
this session than any other bill, and his reso-
luton relative to ex-Confederate soldiers
called out a rather interesting debate III
which Senators from the North as well as
the South participated.
A day or two ago he introduced a joint
resolution to amend the constitution, 50 as
to permit the District of Columbia to send
one Senator to Congress and as many Rep
resentatives as it would be entitled to I'M
der the apportionment law. This resolu-
ton will be productive of a lively debate.
If the constitution were to be amended in
accordance with it the Senator for which it
provides would have to be elected by the
people, because the District has no
Legislature. The precedent that would
thus be established would be used, doubt
less, to secure a change in the method by
which Senators are now elected in the diff
ferent States. There is quite a strong senti
electing Senators by a direct vote of the
people, and the success of Senator Blair's
scheme for the District of Columbia would
strengthen it,
The people of Washington are far from
satisfied with their present political condi-
ton. There are POO, 900 of them and they
have no part in their local government,
nor in that of the country The District is
governed by a commission appointed by
the President, and Congress makes all the
laws for it. The government it has is a
very good one-much better than that
which 1t had when it managed its own
affairs. At one time it had Governor and
a Legislature, and when its debt reached
S22,O00,O00 Congress thought it was about
time to take charge of its affairs. The peo-
pie thought so, too. They began to see
that their taxes would soon be a heavier
burden than they could comfortably carry,
and they readily consented to have their
local affairs managed by Congress.
Taxes in the District are now light and
the streets are kept in an excellent con
dition. The police force is good one and
the schools compare favorably with those of
any other city in the country. If the peo-
pie of Washington are wise, therefore, they
will let well enough alone. Their anxiety
to vote, however, may make them so far
forget the advantages they now enjoy as to
insist upon the passage of the Blair resolu-
tiOn
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-04-09
An Intalliple Remedy.

FROM tHe IOfJhee DHLue-
She had suffered with the phthsic, and had
taken tons of physc,
And whole barrelsfu of bitters, and whole loads
of nauseous pills;
She'd been troubled with miasma, and all
Choked up with the asthma,
And been shaken for month or two with ague
and the chills;
She had the. yellow fever, of which nothing
could relive her,
And the rheumatism famed her so she could not
go about;
And she groaned with tonsolitis and the most
acute bronchitis,
And she suffered endless tortures from the
twingeS of the govt.
She had tried old school physicians christian
scientists, magicians,
Indian doctors, electr clans and magnetic heal
ers all,
And drank tons of nauseous liquor, but grew
ever sick and sicker-
And they got the undertaken to prepare her
shroud and pail
Then great auction sales of laces advertised in
various places,
Caught her feverish eye one morning-and she
leaped up sound and well!
She shook off deaths stiffening rigor, and with
most emphatic vigor
She grabbed her husbands pocket book and
rushed down town pell-mell.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-04-09
Here's How"
From The BaItinlOre Americon

FROM We DuHtHGOfe american.
Fleet Wolf and Hound that Bays two chiefs
of the Chippewa Indians, who are in Waslslg-
ton as delegation from their tribe TO look alter
some of its land interests, called upon Mr.
Cleveland the other day They are both emf
nently clear-eyed, practical business Indians
wearing store clothes and very knowing. They
have cut their hair short washed their faces
and they speak excellent English.
When admitted to the Presidents priyate
room yesterday, they displayed an entire alb
sence of the conventional Indanism. They
didn't call Mr.. Cleveland the Great White
Father" nor did they call themselves his chill
dren. They talked to him plainly and frankly,
explaining to him just what they thought
their rights we're. Totally unabashed or over
awed by the august presence, they crossed
their legs and sat in their chairs as
comfortably as though squattinZ out on their
own reservation. and TO his credit, be il said
Mr. Cleveland made il point to be particularly
pleasant.to them. The two Indians were evi-
IDENTIFY pleased. They found that Mr. Cleveland
was as clever and nice man to talk TO rs any
Indian trader, and seemed just as glad to see
them. While they were talking Fleet Wolf non
chalantlytook big piece of chewing tobacco
out OF his pocket cut of piece and offered il
to Mr.. Cleveland, who gravey declined He
recognized that the Indians act was meant as a
courtesy, and not an impertinence Finally
they were 10 go. Hound-tha.- Bays a grizzled
old buck of about 90 shook hands with Mr.
Cleveland, and then, with charming navete he
inquired:
wont you give us a drink"
much good sense to be offended. According TO
their notions he had not extended TO his guests
the full hospitality. He hesitated a moment.
Then he went TO the door and told Loeter the
doorkeeper of his room, that be was not TO adj.
init anybody, under any pretext. Returning TO
his room he went TO cabinet, opened il and
took out a decanter and three glasses. The ewes
of the Indians lighted up Each poured himself
out a generous drink, and Mr.. Cleveland. too,
poured out little into glass The two chiefs
raised their glasses, solemnly looked al their
host. and gravely uttered the Wisconsin toast:
Here's howi'
The President keenly relished the humor of
the situation but preserved his gravity He
drank with them, and then placed the decanter
away again. The chiefs shook hands with him
again and left. They were very much impressed
with Mr.. Cieveland's business sense and hearty
hospitality, and before the day was over they
had told every member of the twenty other
indian delegations how royalty they had been
treated. Since then there has been steady
stream Of Indian chiefs calling at the White
House, and Col. Lamont is almost at his wits
end framing excuses 10 stand them off. Here's
how, y it has been explained to Mr.. Cleveland,
Is the regulation toast in Wisconsin, where the
Chippewas live and corresponds 10 the ''Ay
regards OF the East.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-04-09
DR.. Mary Walkers Trousers Make
Trouble

From the NetU York Graphic
DR. Mary Walker struck terror the other day
to the breast of a young woman whom she
would regard as her natural ally 1t is a Gu
rious and noticeable fact that women physi-
Clans especially the ones of the younger gene
ration, are nine times out of ten very conven-
tional in everything outside their profession
They don't want to vote, they are not ''viewy,'
and their clothes are not outwardly at least
reformatory. Well, New York young woman
of this profession and this class was in the Re-
lay House station near Washington last week
and going into the ladies' dressing room she
came out in great hurry and more Indignation
Going up to the young colored damsel In
charge she said hotly: DO you know there is
a man in there? He ought to be arrestedr'
la Miss" responded the dusky attendant
dat amt no man. leastwise not real, sure
enough man; OATS DIR. Mary Walker"
well, what in the world does she dress like
that for?" quered the still rate young lady.
why, OATS because she's a doctor"
$50 am l a doctor"
Yes, but she's rale genuwine doctor lust
like a man. She's got a disploma"
Il don't care, diploma or no diploma, she's
got to come out of there before I'll go in, and l
wish you'd tell her So I'm not going to make
my toilet in the room with trousers, whoever
has them on"
Fortunately this message was not delivered
exactly, or DR.. Mary Walkers stubbornness
might have kept her in that dressing room up
to the present hour.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-04-09
Rough on Poor Pa.

from HIe OOStOH UIoOes
When Fred D. was years old his father and
mother took him TO the British Provinces TO
spend summer. When crossing the frontier
on the way home the custom house officer
passed through the cars examining the baggage
of the passengers, to see if it contained any
thing dutiable
Fred was very much interested in this, and
his father had to explain to him how any pas
senger who brings anything new from Canada
must pay tax on it to the officer.
The inspector was just about to leave the car
and pass on to the next when Fred who had
been silently rejecting for few minutes, asked
his father, in shrill voice, that was audible to
every one in the car, including the customs ex-
amner:
Papa, did you pay him for that new over
coat and dress suit you got in Halifax"
That little exhibition of juvenile cuteness cost
his pa $40 bill His pa Is a free trader now.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-04-09
A Hard-Up Prince.
From the Spirit of the Times.

ETOHC 6te OIDtTtt ~ INC H"eS'
Prince Albert Victors personal appearance
and manners are anything but favorable and he
is most unpopular. Not so, however, with
prince George, the sailor 1t is said that his
only fault is in being a great spendthrift, and
that his father has been compelled once or
twice to pay off large amount of debts, which,
under the circumstances did not add much to
the equanimity of his highness.
There is story told at the clubs in respect to
this young prince that is too good to be lost,
even if it is not strictly true About year ago
he was sent to his ship after vacation wherein
he became greatly involved in debit quite penni
less and a warning lecture from his father
Shortly after the christening of the Batten>
berg baby occurred, and presents were sent to
the infant in great quantities and of value com
mensurate to his exalted rank, Prince George
duly and dutifully sent his offering-a pewter
mug with tag attached, on which was written:
ITO my beloved nephew, with the hope that
when his nephew is christened he will be able to
purchase more appropriate gift than this. "
1t is said the prince of Wales, on reading the in
scription, exclaimed: That boy is incorrigi-
Bile, y and then laughed heartily, and next day
sent him handsome sum.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-04-09
Experiments in Implanting Teeth
From the Nep York Herald.


IT. as many eminent physicians assert, the
dietary and habits of Americans are rapidly
causing widespread dental degeneracy, the re
cent successful experiments in implanting teeth
are of national Importance. DR.. Youger, of San
Francisco, has demonstrated that it is practica-
BILE to replace lost teeth, even after the socket
has been filed up with bony substance He
simply drills into the jaw, gouges out new
socket, and then taking foreign tooth that has
long been extracted, cleans it thoroughly, soaks
it in bichloride of mercury and inserts it in the
socket thus artfcially formed. DR.. Gray's
microscopical examination shows beyond cues
ton that the tooth so implanted is actually re-
vived; that circulation is established between
the socket and the implanted TOOTH and that
the socket takes an active part in anchoring the
tooth. DR.. G. NJ Curtis of Syracuse n. Y, has
successfully repeated Dr. Yougers expert
mert, and found that a tooth which he had i'm
planted was so firmly anchored that it broke
when he was extracting it. The value of these
experiments to afflicted humanity can hardly be
oYerrated. Dentists who learn to mplant teeth
will be almost as great benefactors of the race
as the discoveries of modern anRsthetics AS
good teeth are Indispensable to healthy diges-
ton and nutrition of the body, the discovery of
means for replacing them when lost is about
as near an approach as we can ever expect to
the discovery of the tabled fountain of perpetual
yOutl,
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-04-09
Ingalls, Unhappy Explanation.

If Senator ingalls, keeps on trying to ex-
plain his speech in which he attempted to
blacken the memories of Gems. Hancock
and Mcclellan, he will be in danger of be-
coming known as Ananas ingalls,. In his
latest explanation he says that he referred
only to the political records Of the two
generals.
Their political records were made when
they were candidates for the Presidency.
Neither of them had much to do with
politics, before they accepted a nom-
nation for that Office. But Mr.. In
gals says they were allies of the Con-
federacy. If they were, how is it that Mr.
ingalls,, in 1864, consented 10 run for Lieu
tenant Governor of Kansas on the platform
on which Gen. Mcclellan ran for PRESIDENT
In that year there was a split in the Repub-
lican party of Kansas, aud the boiling Re
publicans and the Democrats supported the
same State ticket Mr.. Ingalls, was
the candidate of the boiling Re-
publicaus and was glad to have the
support of the Democrats. The Democrats
who accepted ingalls, as their clndi-
date for Lieutenant Governor indorsed
the Mcclellan platform and, there
fore, Mr.. Ingalls, ran on the same platform
with Gen. Mcclellan. In view of these
facts does any one believe that Mr.. Ingalls,
ever thought that Gen. Mcclellan was an
ally of the Coufederacv! If he never
thought so how could he assert that he did
if he have any respect for truthi
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-04-09
INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

MEETINGS -DeKalb Lodge No 9, l. O. O. F.;
Calanthe Lodge No. %, X. P; Clinton Lodge
No 81. F. and A. NJ; S, F. and w. and c. and S.
Rvs; German Friendly Society.
SPECIAL NOTES.-THE State Board of Phar-
macy: Festival and Social Entertainment;
Young Ladies of St Patrick's Church.
Auction SALES Furniture, Etc, Administra-
tors Sale of Personal Property, by c. II. Dor
sett; Furniture Carpets, Etc, by Robert II. Ia
tenn.
New ARRIvALs-L Lindsay & Morgan.
STEAMSHIP ScHEDULE-Baltimore Steamship
Co; Ocean Steamship Co.
BANKERs-Henry Clews & Co, 10 and Is
Broad street New York
LEGAL NorcEs-Application for Letters of
Administration
CHEAP COLUMN ADvERTIsEMESTs-HelpW Want
ed Strayed or Stolen; Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-04-09

The Boston Herald throws a damper upon
the hopes of the Republican candidates for
President by saying that it Is n fact, con-
firmed by abundant examples in American
history, that the pursuit of the Presidency
on the part of an individual has been almost
invariably unsuccessful Another reason
why Mr.. Cleveland will he renominated and
re-elected
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-04-09

Though the Republican leaders vigorously
opposed the amendment abolishing the
property qualification for voters in Rhode
Island, the New York Press has the temeri-
ty TO say: Like the colored voters. the
newly cnfranchised voters Of Rhode Island
will not forget the party to whose courage
they owe their citizenship When the re-
turns from the next State election come in
perhaps the Press will wish the newly en-
franchised voters had bad memories.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-04-09

Political circles have lately been agitated
by the report that Minister Pendleton has
asked to be relieved from the German Mis-
sion, and that the President will appoint
ex-Mayor Cooper, of New York, to the va
cancy. AS matter of fact, there Is no
vacancy. Mr.. Pendeton has no intention,
80 far as is known, of resigning. Where do
these rumors starti
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-04-09

Commenting on the statement of the
Memphis Ardlonche that Attorney General
Garland would make good Chief Justice,
the Philadelphia Press says: I'VE knew
some Democratic organ would have the face
to say that" Yes, Mr.. Garland is one of
the most profound LAWYERS in the country.