Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-12-22

ETIQUETTE OF INVITATIONS.
Mrs. Sherwood will each week answer ten or
twelve questions concerning points Of etiquette
and manners, selecting such as suggest points
of the most general interest to readers of The
STAR.
'Gladvs" writes: How should a letter be adj
dressed TO lady whose husband is q doctor of
divinity. or to the wife Of any gentleman with a
title. as general. colonel, judge? Also, will you
tell me the correct way to take salt from an in
dividual salt-cellar when an individual salt
spoon is not furnished?
lady does not take the title Of her husband
In this country. Therefore the wife of Judge
Is Mrs sutherland, care Of Judge sutherland
Nor in England has the wife even of an arch
bishop any rank. 1t is 1.-The archbishop and
Mrs. Benson" Here it would be The Bishop
and Mrs. Doane." In Germany they talk of
the professor in" and put the husbands title
before his wife's name, but it is not the best
custom here.
vldual title to the salt-cellar help yourself with
your knife. That is the Use of an individual
salt-eellar.
THE ETIQUETTE OF CALLS.
III. Van writes: Il am invited by a young
lady to attend, With her, wedding reception
given by her friends, with whom / am not ac-
quainted- Do make call on the people who
give the reception with her. or IL a call on her
sufficient? The case is repeated by an invita-
tion from young lady to attend a dance with
her at the house of her friends. with whom
ain unacquainted. Do / call on the friends
with the young lady afterward?'
1t is not necessary that the young lady go
with you. but you should call on the hostess
who has invited you. OF course you could also
call ON the young lady to thank her for the in
vitation.
Urgent" writes: II am engaged to marry
young lady whom have not yet introduced to
my relatives. Now, is it proper etiquette for
me to ask my relatives to call upon her first or
should take her to call upon them?'
OF course your relatives call first on the
young lady, the only exception being that you
might take her to see your mother. But il is
generally the rule that the relatives of the
gentleman call Cd the lady.
ToM.-Two ladies have been recently married.
Gee on October 80 and the other November u.
The married first holds receptions, the
other does not. Whose place is it to make the
first call?
Answer.-The lady who gives the receptions
has made the first call if she has sent card.
card Is :. call. and The lady who gives no reeep-
tons j. bound to call on her.
J. j. c. asks: After being away from home
some time how should you inform your friends
of your return"
Answer.-By sending your card or writing a
uCte, VI pS StNhlS d tea
SIGNATURES.
Seeond.-In writing to an old servant how
should Won address her and how sign yourself?
This depends on the sort of old servant that
it is. If it is dear and old valuable nurse
write: Dear Matilda. hope you are getting
ON well through the winter. Your grateful
friend.
MARY SMITH"
Never sign yourself otherwise. To write your
ing IN the queens name. to- a masseuse, wrote:
"Dear Charlotte, the queen wishes you to come
to Windsor in April hope your little grand
child Is well, Yours truly. JANE Ely"
If you writing to man servant. a courier.
or any person OF that kind begin: ''Latimer,
received your satisfactory note" and on,
but always sign it Mary Smith-never Mrs.
Mary Smith.
Hyou choose to put it in the third person
you can do SO. but that is incOnveniently for
NAL Never be afraid to sign your Christian
name-make ii a title of nobility.
Dick kretZman asks: Upon being introduced
to young lady through what formula shoulda
gentleman go? Are there any words spoken,
and if 30. what are they?'
Answer-"How do you do?' is the only for
mula.
Second Question.-''Supposing you met
gentleman and lady on 18th avenue; you know
bow
of course it is, and to raise your hat. bow
hurts nobody.
J.F. C. asks: ''Should napkin be folded
after a meal if you do not intend to remain for
the next meal, as in a restaurant
Certainly not You lose all proprietorship
in your napkin after leaving the table. To
your next question we can only say that de-
ponds upon circumstances.
INVITATIONS.
Gertrude" asks: a friend is spending a
few weeks with me. Since she came have
been asked to an evening reception, a wedding,
tea and dinner. Can / ask for invitations
for her. as my friends do not know of her
presence here? Could | with propriety take
her with me to any of these houses? II not
does courtesy to her require me to stay at
home and to decline all these courtesies? How
shall make the request!'
BY writing a note to your friends and asking
for invitation TO all these festivities except
ing the dinner. A dinner is too formal and the
invitations are of too much consequence for
you TO ask for one for your friend. unless you
are very intimate with the hostess
'.Old Courtier" writes: rs it not exceedingly
dlscOurteous to send an invitation by mail? /
have been in New York two weeks. and have
been invited to balls, dinners, and teas innu-
merable by mail Ii seems to me that a two
cent stamp Is a very undignifed message. And
II am invited Ia so unceremonious a manner
must return the invitation in careless
wav?'
We are sorry to tell 'Old Courtier' that he
must. The business of sc nding out invitations
by hand In a vast city like New York was found
to be so uncertain that many hostesses prefer
To follow the London fashion and send them by
post. which is bound to find your friend for you.
even if he has moved.
Still there is q great deal Of messenger boy
business, and some people prefer il. How
ever, one Ii bound to return a note as it is
sent.
"A Gentleman" asks: "How shall I send
out invitations to a tea at nv lodgings? Shall
say MI. Charles Martin at home Saturday
december l., or shall say, Mr.. Charles Mar
TIN requests the pleasure OF your company on
Tuesday afternoon. or shall say Mr.. Charles
Martin. Tea at So"
II Is always safest for a gentleman to saw.
"Nr. Charles Martin requests the pleasure of
your company" although we know Of no rea-
son Why he should not put ..tea at four on his
card. az a lady does. II is however less re-
speetfui, and one had better err on the side of
respect
WEDDING CARDS.
''Elaine" asks: In addressing wedding cards
or announcing marriage, if the groom is q
clergyman and q doctor of divinity, should his
title be mentioned
Answer-Certainly. He wears a livery which
cannot be disregarded. and the announcement
cards should read:
Mr.. and Mrs. Meredith
Announce the marriage Of their daughter
Clara