The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1888-08-15
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Plane peOple-lne carpenters.
A bouncing baby-A rubber doll.
A shaky misunderstanding die,
A party organ seldom gets out of tune.
A fast horse-The one that is hitchtd.
Old maids are not favorable to adj
ages.
A well meaning man One who digs
one.
The sphere Of the weather prophet
Atmosphere. ...
The typewriter is the only woman who
takes kindly to dictation..
A buckwheat cake and home run de-
pend largely upon the batter.
A yacht can stand on a tack without
swearing. Few men can.-Boston Courier.
One would think that most men had
struck their calling when they hear the
dinner bell.
For man to think he will live for
ever is the mistake of mans lifetime.
-Picaguqe
When a grocer retires from business
he weighs less than he did before
american H6bre,o. D.,
It doesn't bother lawyer to see break
ers ahead-that is, if they are law-break-
rs.-Nortduestern.
The cat is versatile, and if you give
her a chance she'll become lap-a-dalry.
70 hers Gazette.
An old whaleman, being asked if he
admired the harp, said yes, if it was
harpoon. -Neto iOrk Star.
"Throw big stone at that cat, moth
er," said the sick boy, "or, in other
words, Rock me to sleep"
A Gypsy Lore Society has been formed
in London. Is there any lower society
than Gypsy, anyhow !-SVtiaqs.
Now that the Sultan of Muscat is
dead, what will become of the poor lit
tie Muskittens p Ne,o Yors Dispatch.
"Give me a light lunch, ," said travel
er IN a Russian railway restaurant. And
they brought him tallow candle
Hotel Mail.
Mrs. Upton Flatte-"What are you
dusting the furniture with, Bridget ?"
Bridget-"Wiv tier dust-pan, mum,
what else 2"
The war cloud that has been hanging
over Europe for several years must be
tired by this time. 1t ought to take
rest. -,SJtings D.
A square meal may be served on
round table without causing premature
explosion of the canons of good TASTE
Nep York. Slm.
"Shoot folly as it flies" is good
enough for winter quotation. The
summer rendition is: "ehoot flies as
they follow. .h-Lye.
In his hours of relaxation from work
on the motor Mr Keely devotes his tine
to patent toboggan that will slide up
hill. l.-M,o York Sun.
saw a cow-slip through the fence, =
house-iy in a store;
saw a wood-chuc up the road
And a stone pick on the floor
--Gereland Herald
An old man pretending to be reading
in a car does not mean to look over his
glasses at the pretty girls opposite. If
he does it is an oversight on his part
Picayuae.
The tenor in fashionable church choir
found to his horror that his voice all at
once became unpleasantly thick. He
strained it, but without any good effect.
--Ne,o York Tri5Re.
Dea!er-"That hats worth two dollars
and half, but will let you, as a friend,
have it for two dollars" Brown-"All
right; but say, the fifty cents goes with
the hat, don't itp-Lye.
From His standpoint Rutherford (of
New York kl-"Ever been East before"
Goldgate (of San Francisco )--"Oh, yes |!
| passed several days in Salt Lake City
three years ago. It'd Bits.
'What have you IN the shape of
oranges Z" asked a customer at the Com
posite Store in rural town. "Base-
balls and doughnuts, " was the response.
"Which'll you aveW-Ne.o York Sun.
Dr. Daniel Wilson, of the University
of Toronto, has declined knighthood.
lie has no intention of giving some
irreyerent students an opportunity to
Gull him ">ir cuss. .'-Aeio York World.
1T is a pity" said an Irish laborer
the other day, as he mopped his brow I;
''it's pity that we can't have the cowld
weather in the summer and the hot
weather in the winter. "-B0st0H Courier.
1t does not require anything ex-
traordinary in the way of intellect TO shoe
a horse, but there is fortune in store
/ LOT Il lllhu W ilo Nhu oAAbb ~ ny ~ NAAN AAN
little pest will stay shod.-HlrPer's
Blzdr.
Mabel IA stranger in town)-'Is Maude
Hihy girl who cares very much for
STYLE #" Mamie "Stylel | should think
so. Why, they say the affected thing
cats her very meals off a fashion plate. -
| Ner II ,UeG Aers.
When pretty, pouting lips say mo"
/ Don't 60
And blow
Your brains all out to simply show
How deep you're plunged in mental woe
And pain.
But hid in Cupid's ambush lie
Nor cry,
Nor sigh,
Nor say all joy has passed you by
And when chance is offered, try
Again.
-Merchant Traveller,