davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1888-02-29

UNCLE ECk'S WISDOM.
Practical Philosophy Seasoned with Wit
Satire aud Hume

Satire aud Humor.
have heard Of men who knew more
than they could tell, but have never
met one. II man has genuine idea,
he can make himself understood,
Literature is the diet of 4 common
mind, but genius feeds on the unwrit-
ten things.
You may travel good way on
whisky. and travel fast while YOU are
going. but you can't get back when
you want to.
When you have learned to liste n,
you have already acq 'irel the rul i
ments of q good education.
Faith won't enable q man to lift a
ton all at once, but it will. ten pounds
at a time.
Genius invents, talent applies.
never have seen an idea too big for
Il sentence, but have read thousands
of sentences too big for an idea.
Vanity and jealousy are the two
weakest passions in the human heart.
and. strange to tell. they are the most
common.
A thoroughly-neat woman is Joy
unspeakable, but doesn't she make it
busy for the dust and the people in the
ighborhoou!
My young disciple, don't hunt for
new things, but study to improve upon
the old ones; every fat stone, and
most Of the powders. have been turn
ed over alre ady by the novelty-hunterS.
We find plenty of people who don't
average we'll; they know too much for
one man, and not quite enough for
two. -CenturY
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1888-02-29
EFFEMiNATE TWADDLE.
The Despfcablo Characters Created by
tho Women Novelists OF To-day.

Tho Desptcablo Characters Created by
tho Women Novelists of To-day.
As to their heroines, they are either
soft, passive dolls. given to inane
twaddle and sickening display of false
sentiment, or 'Junolike'' viragoes Of
meloiramaticv voice and attitudes, who
one moment curse their adorers, and
the next throw themselves into their
arms and all propriety to the winda
Their heroes are not whit better in
their way. The authors do not seem
to know what true manliness is judg-
ing from the wretched types they pre-
sent to their readers. Have these
ladies Of the pen no decent specimen
among the mankind of their own circle,
whence they may dlaw picture?
Where do they find these heroes of
their foolish creations? Where have
they ever met men who talk the tran
seen dental rubbish and driveling
trash with which these women novel
lists exc out the dialogues Of
their three volume absurdities. Book
seems too worthy name to bestow on
such effeminate twaddle.. Who does
not know the hero of dozen such
''books?" The fair, six-foot heavy
dragon, or the tall, slight, dark hero.
with swarthy skin. ravenlocks and
velvety eyes? Or new type now
come into fashion, the insidious. hand
some curate, addicted to ritualism
and the confessional. or the fascinat-
in" freethinker, whose aim is. appar-
emily, to undermine all existing insti-
tutions. moral and social, and who
sits the center of circle of adoring
women, uttering fe"ble platitudes
about Mature, worship of humani-
ty.' ETC., till the little brain he has
softens and he falls i'll. and one of his
adorers nurses him. and the rest find
that their idol is. after all. only clay!
These seem the invariable types rep
resented of clerical and atheistical
heroes. even az the gentlemen who
wear Her Mi 'sty's uniform are al
most as invariably depicted as most
Thoroughbred scoundrels or loung-
iHS, hfauCAuS Cal PS1 hHASAc@s
with no thoughts above balls.
| firtations and signing after
their nei ghbor's wives. These so.
called '.society' Or fashionable novels,
poor and meretricious limitations of
! the worst forms of French realistic
literature, ale the most poisonous and
| hurtful OF all that are published in
such l"gions. Many are barely dis.
guised adaptations of Boulevarde
| feuiketoas, in which, under the plea
of scenes of ''fas hionable lif.' the
most absurd or disgusting ''situations'
are patched together by tissue Of
unmeaning dialogue and improbable
combinations. Every shred of pro.
| priety is scattered to the winds, vice
stalks side by side with virtue, and
holds its brazen front high above all
sense of shame, that '*ali who rur
may read" Impurity is rampant and
decency ignored, as something old
fashioned. obs lete. A certain CLOS;
of wit, tant so,t peu gumin, is intro
duced to give little spice to ''helT
down. the ''situations," in case they
should be Il wee bit strong for even
the vitiated palales that find such
| hiyhly seasoned tid.bits so savory.-
| National ReraeU
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1888-02-29
Curious Superstition.

A most peculiar case OF superstition
exists in York township. four miles
south of New Philadelphia. o. A well.
known farmer named Miller has
always kept fine lot of COWS and
made great deal of excellent butter.
OF late years he has what he terms
switches in the cream giving him.
self and family great deal of trouble
and great loss. 1t happens that about
every two weeks when they put the
cream in the churn it begins foaming
over the top and refuses to gather.
No amount Of churning has any effe CT
toward gathering the butter. and the
cream is taken out and thrown far
away. The family attribute the
trouble to witches brought on through
the agency of a woman i'll the neigh
borhood through spite. 1t is strange
case. -Pttts6urq+ Disnatct
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1888-02-29
BRITISH OESTITuTIoN.
Seven Hundred Thousand Farm Labor.
erA Unable to Find Work.

LONDON, Feb. 21-In the House of Com.
mons yesterday Chaplin, Minister of Agri.
culture, said that the loss to the
farmers by deficient agricultural values
was e42, 600, 900 in 1885 and ESQ, OOO.-
900 now. Many thousand acres of land
had been permitted to go out of cultiva-
ton, and there had been a great decrease
In the number of cattle and sheep in the
country Reliable estimates showed that
there were 100000 agricultural laboreru
unemployed and that those working were
receiving greatly reduced wageA Govern
ment asked q bill founding q department. Of
agriculture
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1888-02-29

above all and always,
the philanthropist, is
dead. Like the going
out of q candle he
passed from q state of
I'M consc iousness at
$50 yesterday morn
ing into death. His
breath, which had be-
come fee bier and
feebler with eac h
passing moment, sud-
denly ceased He died
W / t b ut pain and
without a movement
DR.. GARRETT, who re-
aimed at the m.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1888-02-29

Rev. T. N. Boss, of the Congregational
church at La Crosse, resigned recently be-
cause the pastoral committee had requested
shorter and more pithy sermonA
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1888-02-29

H seldom live, trugally who lives
~ chance. Hope i always liberal,
md hey that trust her promises make
tile scrunle of reveling to-day on the
romises Of tomorrow. Johnson
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1888-02-29
A LIFE WELL SPENT,

Death at Washington Of w. w. Coreoran,
tho Famous PhtisnthrOpist - A Brief
Skotcl, Of His Career, with some Facts
About His Most Notable Deeds Of Char.
tty.
WASHINGTON, Feb 25.-W. W. Corcoran,
the auccassfnl huainess man canitalist and
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1888-02-29

of 80, OOO 100 churches, "a schools, 1000
pupils and 10 indus rial schools
There are in the Territory % creameriea,
10 cheese factories, 1l9 -four mills. %
breweries and bottle works, 8 packing
houses, 8 electric light plants, 4 street rail-
ways and 10 railway shops.
A fire which started recently in the livery
barn of John Manning, of SGurgis, resulted
in a loss of So. 600. The Adaertiser office
was partially destroyed, and for time the
destruction of The town was Threatened
The bottling works of g. W. Flock at
Huron were seized the other day by Dep
u5y United States Marshal, who found
therein Il worm and other apparatus for the
manufacture of whisky.
The company which has been boring for
natural gas at Ashton struck heavy flow
at depth of one hundred feet the other
afternoon The fame burned steadily from
three-inch hole, and rose to the height OF
four feet
The Supreme Court handed down q de-
cision few days ago affirming the consti-
nationality of the Local-option law passed
at the recent session of the Legislature
The decision is one Of considerable i'm
p0rtance, because it is the first adjudication
of the question whether Territorial Legis-
lature, under the spolice regulations" idea,
has the power to pass local-option laws
l. D. Gordon, of Custer County, while
going home recently with chunk of beef
on his shoulders, was attacked by hungry
wolves and had lively running fight with
the animala He crippled one with kick
and the pack instantly pounced on it. Civ
ing Gordon chance to increase his speed
and reach home unInjured He saved the
beef
After the snow blockade was lifted sixty
nine bags of mail were delivered at Kim
ball
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1888-02-29
WISCONSIN.

@l-o.UOO Oy the death or relauVeS in the
County of Limerick Ireland He will leave
for the old country in the spring TO claim
his fortune.
At Beloit few evenings ago the fountain
Mrs. John R. Adams, OF Chicago, gave to
that city as a memorial of her father, the
late Hon John Hackett, was formally pre-
sented with appropriate exercises
A loan Of $l4, 900 was made recently in
Ashland on property which was sold six
months ago for ST 900.
youth strayed into the Brush Electric
Company's premises at Eau Claire recently
and beg n experimenting on the dynamo
with a button-hook. The button hook
was drawn out of his hand and circuited
the machine in such a way as to burn out
the armature. It would cost at least $500
to repair the machine, and the youth would
be laid up for some time from the effects of
the shock he received
At Peshtlgo .he other afternoon the roof
of NewtOn's rink caved in under it's weight
of snow, and one man was killed and three
wounded
At the recent session in Milwaukee of the
Department of Wisconsin G. A. R., the Adj
tutan. Quartermabter's report showed the
net gam in membership during the year
was 946. The present total membership is
about II, 900.
The Chicago l. Northwestern Railway
Company is about to erect fine new pass
enger depot in Milwaukee, to cost upwards
OF $25O,OOO
Alfred G. Fish recently had returned to
him four Government patents for his farm
near Evansville that had been lying In
Washington for almost forty years.
Colonel H. G. Blood, one of the first set
tiers Of Appleton, and a man prominently
connected with the history of that sect ON,
died u few days ago at the age OF seventy
four years
A committee appointed by the last Leg
is ,ture reported in favor of the contract
sys.em at the Wisconsin State prison.
Telegram-herald., 1888-05-27
THE METHODIST CONFERENCE.
Secretaries and Editors Chosen at sstur-
days Session.

cefr0IATtG4
days Session.
New YORK. Nav 26.-The result of yss-
terdays ballot for Missionary Secretaries
was announced 10 the members of the
Methodist General Conference this morning
by Bishop Warren, who presided Only
one of the three was chosen. This
was Chaplain c. c. McCabe, who received
355 votes out OF AIS cast. When the result
wss announced the conference INDUCED in
loud and continuous applause.
Interest in the conference work seems TO
have gone out with the election Of bishops,
as there were bat few persons present. On
motion of DIR. Flood another ballot was
taken for Missionary Secretaries, which Was
followed by nominations for Corresponding
SECRETARY Of the Church Extension So
ciety, en- Office worth $500. DIR. A j.
hynett was elected without opposition. He
has held the Office for twepty-one years.
On the second ballot for Missionary Secre-
tariss there vas no election.
The third ballot for Missionary Secre-
taries resulted in the election Of J. O. PECK
and A. b. LEONARD J. L. Hurlsnrt was
elected Secretary OF the SUNDAY school
Union and Tract Societies DR.. Mendenbsll
was elected Editor Of the Ksfkoaisf Raieso.
Nominations for editor Of tie Chrisfion
Advocate was then in order. The names
presented were J. II. Buckley. the present
editor, and Miss Frances r. Willard, Pres
ident OF the W c. J. Z. and one of the re-
jscted women dslezsies J. NJ BuIklev
vas elected. votes cast 2c5 Or. Buckley re-
ceive5 Zs4. and Miss Willard 195 votes.
J. II Bsylis vas reelected editor of fbs
Festern Ctrlsfian zd1ooafe and Arthur Ed.
wards editor OF the Rorthuestera Christian
zorzsrgfe
Telegram-herald., 1888-05-27
Peak Pleads Guilty.

MOUNT HOLLY. N. J., May 26.-At the
opening of the BARLEY Peak murder trial
this morning, all were surprised when
Peak pleaded guilty to the indictment
Judge Garrison instructed the jury that
they could sign a verdict of murder in the
second degree and the Court would be re-
sponsihle.
Young Peak was convicted of murder in
the first degree for killing his cousin. Miss
Mary Anderson, TO whom be had been pay
ing attention for some time. On an appeal
TO the Supreme Court a new trial was
granted, and the court ruled out the girl 4
dying declaration, which was the trong-
est evidence against the prisoner.
Telegram-herald., 1888-05-27
N A CRITICAL STATE
GENERAL sreaoAws CONDITION
His Msisdy Takes = Turn for the Worse st
O'Clock p. ma boiietin ~
40 y. m--Cenditien In
changed ~ Midalxht.

wAsHrssros. May 26.-Ths following
bulletin signed by Drs- p. n. o'Rsilly.
Washington Matthews. Chss. b. Byrns and
II. G. Yarrow. was issued tonight:
'iop. m.-6eneral Sheridan passed COM
Portable day. took plenty Of nourishment.
spoke cheerfully and hopefully and general
ly did well until ten minutes before
O'Clock this afternoon. when the action Of
the heart became very feeble. from which
condition 1t has reacted imperfectly At tn Is
time. He is suffering neither pain nor dis
tress. He thoroughly understands. ~ also
the family have done from the beginning.
the gravity of the situation, but is now and
has been quite tranquil. undisrnayed and
hopeful for the best"
At midnight the Generals condition was
unchanged.
Telegram-herald., 1888-05-27
81. Louis Magnetic water.

Now that hot weather IN here the ques-
something that can be had that is pure and
not too expensive. The St. Louis Magnetic
Water answers the question. IL is the
purest, finest drinking water in the world
and is cheap. II 10 as pleasant 10 drink a.
q glass of milk, containing none Of the
waters.
If you are afflicted with rheumatism,
kidney difficulty, sour stomach. dyspepsia
and loss Of appetite drink the ST. Louis
Magnetic Wster. Never 20 TO Reeds LAKE.
for dsy without taking the water with
you or il can be bad st Reeds Lake st
eweilsnd's. send orders to No. 2 Pesfl-st.
and tkey will De promptly filled.
Telegram-herald., 1888-05-27
LAST OF THE WEEK
THE SATURDAY eRisr IN COURT.
The PoIics BUSINESS Geed-Aii the nass
Cniprfts Convioted and fusfshsa-
None of Them Very BAD


Business was unnsally good In the Police
Court yesterday morBing when both hands
on tue city time piece said nine o'clock.
Michael Collins, drunk. said that he
supposed he Was guilty. and paid $5.s5.
John Gallagher Was arrested for getting
drunk, and pleaded not guilty. He had .
trial. WIS found guilty and fined S. and
cost or fourteen days
Michael Aolonsy. good looking young
man. pleaded guilty TO . little case OF in
toxicntion and paid the regulation fee OF s.
and cost.
John Kittrick said that be had been
drugged and put away 20 sleep in . nice
little gutter in Kent alley. The Court said
drunk. and assigned him 81 and cost which
was paid.
Jas. Foote. an old veteran. rs years old.
and the owner in fee simple Of two wooden
legs. pleaded guilty TO the charge Of being
drunk and Was released on suspended
took a little whisky for . dryer. and that he
must have cot drop too much.
VIM. Frizzels got drunk and committed
IN assault and battery upon . barber pole.
He paid S5.35.
Dick Knabe, West Side young man
who has hard luck, explained why he was
ran ia for vag and was released. Knsbe
has no home. and has been laid up all
Winter with broken leg and Is unable TO
work.
Geo. Ragens, another cripple. was up for
begging on King-st. he pleaded not guilty
and was tried by the Court.
John Riley Doe, the man who hit Hol-
lander because he was green. paid $685. for
the fun.
Geo Roe. still another cripple. was mp
for begging on King-st.. and pleaded not
guilty. Three witnesses were sworn and
he was found guilty. Roe explained that
be was rheumatic cripple and was trying
to get out of town. Sent TO the county
Jail for ten days.
Telegram-herald., 1888-05-27

The TrrEeRkw- II ERtID nine VIII play 3
game OF ball with something toosy
Reeds Lake. What II viii be don't know
till set there.
The Housman. Donneiiy A Jones Cluf
will play the Howard City Club, st Reed
Lake. Decoration Dny. The game viii b.
called OF 3.30 y. m. The Howard City Cut
Is quite hustler and good game can be
expected.
The Grand Rapids Cub defeated the
Tower" Club yesterday afternoOD st Che
old Park, score - I IN favor Of the Grand
Rapids Club BATTERIES. Williams sno
Buck. Iitchsr and Mckay; base hits. Grand
Rspids 8. "Tower" 2
Telegram-herald., 1888-05-27
AN OUTRAGEOUS ACT.

A Sick and Insane Woman Arrested and
Kept Twenty-four Hours without rood.
DETROIT, May 26-The Journal charges
the police with having locked up and con-
victed of drunkenness a respectable woman
who has been an invalid for three years and
who is mildly insane. The Journal charges
that she was kept without food for twenty
four hours. and that her husband reported
her 10 be missing soon after bsr arrest and
the police E.ade no effort TO identify her.
Telegram-herald., 1888-05-27
DONNELlY AND HIS CIPHER.
The Bsconisn Theorist Invited to Lecturs
stOxford University.


stOxford University.
LONDON. May 26.-Ar. Ignatius Donnelly
mas been invited by the students of Oxford
University to lecture before them on the
3lst inst, upon his cipher and has accepted
the invitation. He leaves London q few
days after for Scotland. Ireland and the
continent. His book still attracts great at
tention and is the subject Of great many
attacks.
Clement X. Shorter wrote 10 the S7r q
few days ago that Mr.. Donnelly's 200 pages
of psrallelisms between Bacons writings
ano Shakespesres plays were ali borrowed
from Mrs. Potts 'Promus," whereupon DIR.
Theobald, the honorable Secretary Of the
Bacon Society, replied and proved that
there were only nine of them borrowed
from the work. and these were duly az
knowledged.
Mr.. Shorter then stated that the book was
a financial failure, and that one firm.
Messrs. Sampson. Low & Co.. told him so;
whereupon that 6rm wrote a letter TO the
Star emphstically denying that any meri-
ber of the firm had made such q statement
Then went on TO say:
The sale of the book has fully equsled
our expectations, and We have already
had the pleasure OF handing Mr.. Donneliy
a check for q very large amount on account
of it,"
Telegram-herald., 1888-05-27

WAsHIseroS, May 26.-At the Repub.
licsn caucus in the House of Representa-
tives tonight q resolution was adopted
favoring the passage Of the Blair Education
bill. and then ensued lengthy discussion
of Mr.. Mills proposition to take vote on
his Tariff bill without subjecting it to de-
bate under the five-m minute rule. Mr. Mills
proposition was finally rejected which
leaves the bill. 50 far a. the minority mem
bers are concerned, TO be considered in the
regular way, viz. section by section.
Telegram-herald., 1888-05-27

CoLDwATER, Nay 26.--The w. G. t. u.
convention closed last night with the con-
test for the Denorest gold medal. the meet
ing being conducted by Mrs. Lillian Hollis
ter. There were eight contestants, all Of
whom had previously been awarded silver
medals. Miss Georgia Donald, of Spring
Lake. Was awarded the prize. Prof. FREQ
Wright, Principal Of the High school here,
made the presentation speech.
Telegram-herald., 1888-05-27

Washington Politician TO Piftsburg Bah
Crank whitney has made q hit In WASH
ington.
Pittsburg Base Ball Crsns-Yes; hs's do
well this year.
Ard Clevslsn1's third year seems prom
TYou o.. psss good one. bui Kushps
Who tstes the cske7"
"Donf ksow MIN myself Suppose he's
. local csndi6ets"
Yes sps he's cot The Point delegation
with him."
"hhi he NAV show some strength IN 81.
Louis The selection Of Fuller viii
strengthen np IN the West.
vss With the Es~ Ofiesns team"
''xo; he's in Chicago"
well. Anson's all the time picking up
Dev men"
YES. he old rs1 be. . habit Of taking
new men like Pbeir> and Fuller"
.'Pbelpe7 Wbsrss he playing
'.0h. bs's in Washington new you know.
Tn sorrs tbs kev orkefs didn't take 70
young Grsnt.
ne s-sms to be popular in Buffalo"
Yea"
= suppo-. bis oossf vas seslpss MIN -
Nsu York"
His coior r
Yes be les coor, you know"
sGsf out Hes white eli sround.'
What GTsnf of ths Bufaioes2n
Z 60n't know about his being in PUMA.
He's been living IN Sew York size. the ,id
mar died"
Whist old msnyr
WtF Grant. Tou sss Cen. Grant. e. q
Grant Dc you ever bear of siusy"
welt sresf- 1ou mess Csl Fred
Srsnf--sDd Fulies. tn. pev chisf Jns,s-~
hoi no. su5 ergvsrnof r5svsl.,f> 80
sec-etsrv WhitBegz Wei. i ar s.~~s.s'
tnDughf yvu vsrt tsik .ne eesnf rre-,--
resa men who can BE TIE bsil
- dozsr Ladies Wslk;nv aa,~- g.
Telegram-herald., 1888-05-27

A dining-room girl At the st. Denis took
five grams of morphine about 5 O'Clock yes
terday afternoon, supposing il to be quinine.
The mistake was discovered and Dr. Rozems
sent tor at about O'Clock. The drug had
by this time become 90 absorbed that anti
dotes were OF little avail. DR.. Edwards and
DIR. Wood were also summoned, and it was
not until after midnight, and after the most
persistent work on the part of the physi-
clans. that the girl was thought to be out OF
tarOor
Telegram-herald., 1888-05-27
His Foot Badly Hurt.

txs1Nss,t - yst vsAsaeAa-st,ss-
LUrHEs, May 26.-Thursday morning.
while running across the yard. the thirteen
year-old son of Malan Miller stepped with
his bare foot on the teeth of a garden rake,
one OF which was driven completely through
his foot, sticking out on top nearly an inch,
producing a very painful and perhaps dan
gerous wound. DIR. Collar dressed the
wound aud has hopes that nothing serious
zifi razuif
Telegram-herald., 1888-05-27

That ID Likely to Remain . Condition o
the Mills BILL


the Milis hill
WASHINGTON, May 26.-It is practically
settled that lumber and salt will remain on
the free list in the Mills bill. and that all
amendments offered on these staples will
be rejected by the Tariff Committee in their
report to the Democratic caucus tonight.
A flood of amendments have been under
consideration in secret for the past week
and strong pressure has been brought by
the salt and lumber interests to secure
some compromise on the radical treatment
of these two Michigan staples. but these
have been uuavailing and the Committee
adhere to free salt and free lumber, as
originally proposed.
The fact was communicated to the Aichi-
gan members by one OF Mr. Mills colleagues
on the committee and can be relied on.
Notwithstanding this Tarsney will offer his
amendments on these items on the floor of
the House, but with the committee and
caucus against him. there is little prospect
OF change. Free salt and lumber will
stand or fall with the bill.
Telegram-herald., 1888-05-27

The scsni0z nasnslsughisr case occupied
the attention Of the Superior Court ysstsr-
day and VIII last couple Of asvs mors
and the oefeuss vii cornnencs t8mofr0s
morning trying - prove tsst Hosniob kilis3
Powers IN seif-dsfsDse The JEEEeRks-
HKskzB vouid give the testimony Ia tbis
csss were Il net Tor the fact thst Il hss al
beeD gone over once iD the Police Couri-
Telegram-herald., 1888-05-27

caiis AZ excitement sss c-ested ves;sf-
day sflernoon On konroe-st A isrxs COG
belonging 70 Mrs.. wsIksr. of go Jefferson
eve. feli ~ 81 r. front Of Beuis Bros'
srocssy A -. sesrusn z~rirsd Oh sue scsn-
sod vns sbofft to dispss<b the poor sbirssl
nj TIE lazy would not permit lt Den. the
Sos. recovered sno siesly followed bis mis-
fress borue