St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-04-01

What volumes it speaks for the ten
hency of the age when one man asks OF
another. ''Is he married at alp" 1t is
the quantity of marriage, not the mere
question, that arouSeS curiosity now.
Eyes, he is married little-three wives,
two divorced and one to be-
rs YOUR father living, johnny"
eyes, ma'am, thank yOu-fve of
'em."
The day is coming when child can
sit down and check off Oh his fingers.
Two fathers by my first mother, four
fathers by my first stepmother, three
fathers by my second stepmother, five
mothers by my first father, two mothers
by my first stepfather, six mothers by
my second stepfather-let's see, that
makes twenty-five parents. and then
there's one more father by my third
stepmother -" here the much
and cut the problem short.
| heard man the other night
specializing as to whether it is proper to
record divorces in the family Bible. OF
course il is proper, and domestic affairs
are soon going to demand a Bible for
each child in which he may keep the
record of his family of fathers and
mothers. Tommy Smith is going to
climb upon his back fence and call
across the alley to Jimmy Jones:
Hello, jim Jones! See me-got new
mother"
..Umph. that amt nothin'. I've got
more'n you, anyhow"
..You haven't neither. I've got more
parents than any fellow round here"
'"Tan't no such thing"
g IT'S, too"
''ShOw 'em up, then"
s'YOu get your'n and I'll get mine,"
and then. fortified each by his private
particular family Bible, they will meet
on the wOodpile, compare records and
settle the matter. Vanishing is the
glory of our dead torefatherS. What
will they be to the youth who has forty
and four, all living?
~
70 see feminine vanity made mani
fest. 90 over to the Turkish bath rooms
Oh ladies' day. The fair patrons gen
orally go in twos, and as each pair enter
there is an interchange of challenges.
Ewes look, ''What fright" to eyes that
look back, you're another" ''Wait
and see'' is the last thing said by every
face as each woman disappears
ninteenth century tailor ere
alton, to reappear a-Greek god
dess. That is what, individually and
collectively, they mOdestly feel them
selves to be. Those who are sensitive
about casting the shadow Of their collar
bones. on their rivals bring the ends of
their sheet up over their shoulders and
cross them in front. Those whose forms
have no defects to hide wrap their sheets
around them. bring the ends under the
arms. leaving the neck and shoulders
bare and the bust liable to exposure.
Then, having put On all the adOrnment
of no adornment, each pair peacockS
down the lounging room to the
scales, and when you see red
npcked, red-armed three hundred
FOUNDER beng weighed there is some
thing 50 awfully realistic about 1t that
one can't help recalling the days mar
ket reports and the price of undressed
beef. From the scales they go to the
hot-room: and shades of Michael An
geio, the poses they assume. Some do
look mighty pretty and their grace sur
wives. even when the face OF each woman
resembles that of her neighbor as one
boiled lobster resembles another But
fancy an old girl of forty, whose skin is
brown, whose flesh is tlabby, the best
part of whose hair is hung up
with her clothes in the toilet
room, attempting the SenSuouS grace
of Cleopatra in repOse and chewing
gum. Five women out OF SIX uncon-
SciOusly fiirt with the maid of muscle
who scrubs them down, and the wetnesS
of the shower has no power to damp the
ardOr of their vanity. When they are
again draped in sheet they peacock
back to the lounging room, take new
pose on one of the couches, oLder cup
of chocolate and bowl of soup or bouil-
lon-just as they happen to be native
OF foreign in their taSte-and for an
hour or two feel as beautiful and look
as comfortable as the inmates of sui
tan'S harem.
Chickens, poor things, at this season
of the year suffer IN one way as much
as the president of the United States, or
professional beauty. No woodcut Oh
the patented page of acOuntry paper
was ever more CALLING too sensitive soul
than the alleged chickens that are
painted on Easter cards. They are
enough to make the feathers of self
respecting chicken stand on end with
righteous Indignation, and if some very
thin-skinned chicken were permitted to
see herself as amateur artists see her,
she would go straight to the river TO
find in oblivion the solace many another
misunderstood, unappreciated being
has found there before her. Why,
these abused creatures are ever repre-
scented as choir singers. On number
of cards L have seen double Quartette
of hens stood up before a bar of music
and made to carol Easter hymns. Could
anything be more absurd? There! I
had not thought of it before. Probably
my hens were intended by the artist
for canaries. Such are the yagaries of
genius, and such the dull sense of an
untutOred mind.
-
Exquisite souvenir programmes have
been prepared for the GotZian musicale.
They are twenty-four in number. W.
i. Bothamly has been engaged upon
them for week The cards are 7x9
inches, handsomely mounted and hand
painted, no two being alike. These
twenty-f0ur pretty fancies have cash
value of $3.50.
ALL FROM DEBORAH.