Sharp County record., 1888-09-13

to sell some real estate ana WIS AON'
as he expressed it, on his way back to
Gods country Most of the various
articles Of clothing were too large for
him. though some were too small He
| indulged in great bites Of dark, for
| bidding-looking tobacco and had 81
| olemn-half-deiected expression.
Colonel" " he said, with IN lntlec-
ton which told that he addressed every
man he met by that title, Colonel
what shall we do to pass away the
time? never play keerds with strang-
ers on q train. he added with, it
seemed to me. unnecessary haste.
didn't know of any thing to do, eX-
cept abuse the country.
II know what. he went on; 'Let'S
each one of us tell q story.
All right, replied.
Its d 20 then, he said; whats
your story bout?'
MY story is about @ man, l re-
piled. unblushingIy who owned a COW
that had only one horn, and that wasn't
much of % horn, you know Its
mostly about the COW, added, dcs-
perateIv, " wondering what could pos
sibIv tell about COW that had only
one horn and that not really all horn
should be-
Sounds frst-rate, he replied Bet
two dollars m a half it II be a thun-
dering good story Mine is only jess
bout a feller that took his girl to q
shindig-jess a scrub ev'ry day story
Blaze away with your COW yarn
Couldn't think of it, sir, couldn't
think of it for moment. You go
ahead first want to hear all about
the feller who took his girl to the shin
dig
Well" he replied, slowly and /
thought he looked even more solemn
than before, "aI right-Iu do it
though I'm somewhat anxious to know
about that cow Which horn was it
that was gone?-nO matter, though
I'll know when you tell it. The feLler
/ was speaking of came down to @ little
town where | ulster to live, in Min
nesota, and started a newspaper. 1t
was an awful weak paper and he was a
cussed fool He was little and had red
ewes. and went around with his head
up like baIky COW with q board over
her face, and he didn't know nothing
anyhow. He didn't know how to run
a live newspaper I built new hen
hOuse-one that Jess made the hens open
their mouths and crackle when they
seen it-but he never said % word
about it in his paper. He didn't seem
to have the ability to discuss public
questions like this at all.
"Well, one night there was a shtndig
out of town about q mile, at Old Man
Plummers place. It was a big un-
they had three fddlers an the organ
thev borrowed from the Methodist
Church. Of course, this ere Charlie
Riggles-thet was his uame-thts ere
editor-of course, Charlie must go. he
couldn't see a hen-house, but he could
q ,Ly-7,7- ia l,l~---1-. ,l,>-->-S-.it IN tsi7
paper beforehand, too, and called it a
hop, which preierdiced some agin
it. -,tOO, if he had only knowed
it. Well, he went out some six or
seven miles on Gopher Perairie and
got Old Hoss Perkins darter to take
to this hop, as he called it. She want
no caller, sic1ly specimen-she could
'precerate the good p'ints Of q hen
house as fur as she could see it, They
got to the Old Mans bout dark, Jess
as the head fiddler was tuning up.
well, the night wore on, which re-
mark once read, and every thing was
all O. K. The dancin' was KEEP up
lively an ev'ry body had good time.
Charlie. the feller I'm a-talEin' bout,
brought the girl to the blowout in one
o. these ere one-hoss buggies that has
powerful small wheels in front an
powerful big uns behind. Well, long
bout midnight, mebbv a little past,
when it was dark as a string o black
cats, bout twelve, or mebby some
past. l don't know exactly, some o. the
bows went out to this ere buggy,
kinder, an sorter walked around it,
an hefted it, an talked a little, an
said it looked like rain, an sized up
the buggy, an by-an'-by sOrter some
how changed the wheels on the blamed
thing-put the behind ones for.ard an
the for'ard ones behind, You see. The
BOYS done it. you know, for sort of a
Joke I reckon. Mebbv they wanted
to see if man what couldn'tsee q hem
| house would catch onto p buggy with
its front rared up n the air ike %
treadmill. 1t made % powerful funny
lool1in' buggy Of it-'peared to be built
some like a butferIo-high in front an
low behind. never seen such % high
shouldered buggy before nor since, 1t
looked 'sif it had its for'ard feet upu
the manger reachin' over into the oat
bin.