The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-04-19
O'SHERRY'S TRICK.
How Captain baltimore Lost His
Whiskers.


account of the uniform. How many of
those y no are supposed to be enamOred of
the adventures and perlIs of a soldiers life
are enamored only of the tinsel and trap
pings of a soldiers coat! 1t would be inter
esting to know, but. owing to the unac-
countable reticence On the part of those so
influenced, it is impossible to discover.
Still, occasionally there occur cases where,
though no confession is made, shrewd
guess may be haZarded that aesthetic consid-
erations had much to do in inducing the gal
LIANT warrior to choose a military career.
Captain Dallimore's was one of these. Cap
tain Dalton baltimore was not very adven-
turous, nor very courageous, nor a very
ambitious man, but he was unQuestionably
a very conceited one His conceit, however,
referred only to his appearance. He never
imagined that he was cleverer, braver, OF
more high-minded than his fellows; in fact
his private opinion was that in these quail.
ties he was rather below than above them
But when it came to good looks-well, every
time he glanced in his glass, and that was
pretty often he felt, with a thrill of pleas
ure, that there he had the advantage of most
people.
And he was not bad-looking fellow. He
had rather long face, passably good fea-
tures and fairish hair and he wore mus
tache, large mutto n-chop whiskers, and a
pinoe-nez. He was very tall and very slight
and his clothes-which is not always the
case even with military men-were OBJ
Viously made for himself.
His appearance was better than his man
ner; that was affected and insipid to de-
gree. He could be induced to manifest
nothing but the most languid interest in
vhn1 Oh hfo
ter what was the subject which was occupy
ing the attention of the rest of the company,
his attention was concentrated on himself.
While the others were jesting, chatting, or
disputing he was engaged examining the fit
of his jacket or the cut of his overalls, or
else stroking his mustache and passing his
fingers affectionately through his whiskers.
These latter hirsute appendages We're the
cause of much mockery and heartburning
in the regiment. His brother officers
strongly disapproved Of them. They could
understand and sympathize with his devo-
tion to his mustache-they all wore mus
taches themselves, which they carefully
nurtured and tenderly cherished-but he
was the only man in the regiment who
sported whiskers, and the others regarded
his indulgence in them as an unwarrantable
license, not to say breach of discipline.
''Dolly, my boy" one would say, ''why
don't you shave and look like Christian!'
''Prefers to look like a goat" another
would growl.
'You see," third would put in, ''he's not
very energetic, and the whiskers save him
3 good deal OF work; with them he has only
to wash half of his face''
eff / were the Colonel,'' a fourth would
declare, ''he should either shave or leave
the regiment
But Captain baltimore would only laugh
languidly at all such coaxing, bullying and
remonstrance. He loved his whiskers, and
was determined not to lose them. Besides,
he suspected that envy had something to do
with his fellows officers disapproval
Captain Dalton baltimore never regretted
his choice of a profession. The Lancer uni
form exactly suited his taste and figure His
duties he found light, and, on the whole,
agreeable; while the effect of his lace spurs
and charger upon the ladies was all that
could be desired. The only drawback he
ever found was the fact that his regiment
was so frequently stationed in remote vii
lages, where he had little company and little
opportunity of receiving what he felt was
his due of feminine admiration and atten-
tiou.
His delight, therefore, can be imagined
when his regiment received orders to leave
the obscurity of Braxby for the publicity
and gayety of the Irish metropolis. He had
been in Dublin before, and knew what he
had to expect there-not an occasional din
ner at Lord Broadacre's or Squire Cherry's,
or a dance every six months at the town
hall, but succession of banquets, recep-
tions and balls, and the admiration ard de-
votion of scores of the prettiest women in
Europe.
The gallant Captain was not doomed to dis
appointment. Dublin proved every thing
that he expected. All that was wealthy,
beautiful and fashionable in the city re-
ceived the Lancers with open arms Cards
of invitation from the castle, Merrion
square, and Old Trinity came IN scores to
every officers quarters. From Colonel to
Lieutenant they were all in demand every
where, but none Of them seemed to be quite
In so great demand as Captain Dalton DALI
more.
It was about month after the regiments
arrival in Dublin. that Captain baltimore
WAS, alone of all the Lancers, present at a
dinner given by Mr.. Justice McMurther in
his fine house in Fitzwilliam square. Judge
McMurther was famous for his dinners, and
though Captain Dalton baltimore knew that
there would be no ladies there-the host
Was bachelor-and that he would be &C
quainted with few of the guests. he gladly
accepted the invitation And he did not
regret it A better dinner he had never
eaten, and the wines were simply incom-
TIE oxlxr 4t,f,er la-;lav HE