West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1888-03-29
II UMOR.

THE New York Wort d has q Nye Il
business.
A ORA uGHrJMAN is generally de-
signing m an.
q SOME bake Gs asO Iilp pugIIists.
They earn the broad thOy knead byvhsts:
Evon their loavos. I'm bound TO state.
Suggest thu tito light weight
"SHE" is the name of a rich gold
mine in Africa. 1t will be a difficult
matter for men miners to find the
pockets in it.--Bostor Courier.
STRUCK 1T RICH.
He was poor aud wanted n wealthy wife
so the English lord csmo over tho water.
He struck IL rich and IL fixed nor life
For he married coal dealer s-only daughter.
--Boston Courier.
BARRIER (who has i1ist finished the
shave)--All right, sir; there you are.
sir (; how do you feel now, sir? Custo-
mer.-Fjrst ratel There's nothing like
getting out Of a bad scrape.
BEGGAR-Please give me a dime: I
you keep two dogs while you are so
poor? Beggar--So as to have a pair
of pants.-dTcoid Record.
"SEE, here, Rusher, he ard that YOU
repeated what L told you the other
w lO bhlCl WuRRl0Y.
BLANK him, he always blabs every
thing he hears l"-Detrott Free Press.
81 TELL you, these leap-year dances
are fine thing. My wife took me and
paid all the expenses herself" "Wher'd
your wife get the money!" "Oh, 1 let
her have 1t. - Whiteside (Ill.) Herald.
III it were customary in this country
to confer titles upon men who rank in
literature, what would 1 be2" asked a
conceited journalist of his senior.
Baron of Ideas" was the terse reply.
TeraS Strings.
PHYSICIAN - Patrick, don't you
know better than to have your pig pen
so close to the house?" Patrick-"An
ply shud Oh not, ser?" Its I'M
healthy" "Be away wild yer nonsinse Z
Sure, the pig has niyer been sick day
in his loife."
TRAMP Ito partner)-D.d the old
man give up anything, Bill2 Part
ner-I asked him If he couldn't help
poor man who was out of work,
and he said he could give me work
Times seems to be gettin' wuss every
day.-EpOCh.
TEACHER in one of our grammar
schools was giving her class lesson on
the art OF putting words into sentences.
I. he words selected, with their defini-
tiols, were "aqueduct, a conductor
and "effervesce, to work" One of the
sentences handed in was, any father is
an aqueduct, and has to effervesce very
hard.
WHAT is typographical error, my
boy? Well, where you read newspa-
per interview in which Mr. Blaine
speaks of Mr.. Cleveland as the greatest
statesman of the century. whose bril-
liRnt administration and magnetic infiu-
ence is only equaled by his sagacious
Judgment, you may safely put up few
margins on q boom in typographical
errors. Bob BtLrdette.
NELLIE O, Hattie, You should have
attended the Paradise german at the
Metropolitan Hotel last night. Hat
tie (curiously) Par adise german?
What kind of german is that? Nellie
(rapturouslyj-W don't you know
It's ore where there are ever 30 many
more gentlemen than girls. Hattie
(tearfully)-How lovely I'm so sorry
1 missed it Washington Critic.
AN agent who was selling humor-
GUS book made a speech tO crowd c.
men in Tennessee town. "Why
gentlemen" said he, "this is the fun
NEST book ever printed. Over here at
Winchester L sold one to lady and
she laughed until she died-actually
laughed herself to DEATH" Here"
said man, II want a copy of that
book" "Yes, sir, you shall have it,
Judge. Shall l send it to your office ?"
~No, send it the house. 1 want it for
my wife. = ArkGnsdU TrGUeLer.