New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-09-20

THE TALK or THE DAY,

| A health crank out West is preparing manus,
| OF "Hygicnic Donts, Here are few specimens:
Don't drink alcoholic or malt liquors. Don't
| drink coffee, tea, or cocoa. Don't drink hot water
| for II parbos and destroys the stomach DOM
drink cold water, for 1t paralyzes the digestive
| organs. Don't drink MILK for II causes consumption
Don't eat bread, either leavencd unleavencd they
both deadly. Don't eat pork. Don't eat raw
vegetables fruit for they contain living organ,
isms. Don't eat them cooked, for cooking induces
deleterous chemical changes. Don't walk fast a.
| 1t up your life. Don't walk slow, as It makes
the muscles habbyo It would be easier and simpler
to die at once than to try to obey such farrago
| OF Inconsistencies
We have it, upon the authority of gentleman
whose VIC withhold for prudential reasons, THAI
Chicago society are accustomed to speak the French
language In their daily business and IN their social
spIcuous example that Mr.. Hobart Taylor, the hand
some young Journalist, invariably speaks French
%beS m .sG he spins along Michigan
his splendid bays We are told that Mr. Taylor ac-
qulred the French IN order 70 &C. able to
mandy.-(Chicago News.
BY the way, the Old Roman hasn't accepted the
nomination yet
"what Is Singles running forl'
q didn't know he was running for anything
"oh, but he IS then saw him going to church
last STANDARDIZATION Transcript
A Boston barber declares bis business card tia,
he is frst-cass tonsoral artist, facial operator
Uranium manipulation and slayer OF contigumentss
And yet he modestly refrains from calling himself
professor
81 DO. How sweet and demure she LOOKS"
"what is she waiting forl"
The street carr -
"Ah yes, there 1t comes. See how gracefully shs
waves her parasOl at the driver
. see, but the car does not stop Is the driver
. he Is not, but she e on the wrong cros:ing-
just like ffty-two out Of every hundred OF them.
Now the car has stopped
Oh, no. She has already frozen the conductor
with look and has decided TO saunter up the avenue
her French heels"
And is the conductor greved9'
ID" Very slightly grfeved, my son. He used TO b
grieved clear through when such an incident oc-
CURED, but he has hardened up good deal, and b.
will now blow two whistles and smile short, sad
smile. "-(Detrolt Free Press.
There is yet hope for American humor. The mother
in-law joke has been used very little this summer
An Indiana Democrat in recent stump speech
Why. fcllow-citizens, If this Republican party
comes Into power, the whole country will forever
rerograde into the unknown vista OF an uncertain
future. "-(Washington Critic
The percentage of illegitimate births in the various
countries of Europe is as follows: Holland 40; swift
zerand, So; Prussia, 100; England and Wales, est
Sweden and Norway, &c. Scotland, 10.1; Denmark,
ITO; German States, 14s; wurtemburg 1874; Italy.
81; Spain, So France 7.2; Belgium, 49, Austria.
Ill Ireland, 30
4 newspaper article is headed " Hot Corn Stands
I'm New-York, Well, II hot will stand In New
York. we'll bet It will stand I'm Pennsylvania, too.
We have It standing I'm a field when the August
poured down upon IT, and no doubt IL was pretty
well heated.'-(NOrrfstown Herald
lady recently visited the Lick Observatory and
asked to Sirius, the Dog Star. The learned
scientists turned the great telescope sirius,
and the lady looked at 1t long and earnestly Then
turning around to the scientific gentlemen who were
waiting for her To make some astronomical remark,
she pacdly murmured, Amt 1t cute - just as II
she had been viewing the latest thing in poodcs.
big cave recently discovered In Virginia is to
be bought by capitalists 1t will be sold at h0lesalo
Huntington Free Press.
General -, of station Island, is very fond of al
his household pets and is loved by them in return.
Ono cold night last winter he awakened BY
something gently touching his long beard, and found
that favorite cat had placed her young kitten undsf
his chin for protection
As delicate a charity as remember was the act Of
a gruf, taciturn old physician in Colorado mining
town. poor, aged parson carefully attended by
the irritable doctor. When the preacher had sufii-
GENTLY recovered to dispense with further medical at
tenon he asked for his bill " Your bill Here IL is,'
said the doctor, opening his pocketbook and handing
the minister's wife SO bilL-(Amerca