Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1888-02-18

be supplied with a wooden base, and
will then make an excellent umbrella
stand.-PncE.
All the men engaged in the Arkan-
sas and Texas train robberies for the
last two years are now ,.ader arrest.
Il SO far not q single railroad official
engaged in robbing passengers of their
lives has felt the touch of the hand.
cutfs.-Detroit Free Press.
Doctor-Did you say to your hus.
band, Mrs. Hendricks, that, if agree
BILE to him, / would send bin for ser.
vice rendered during his recent severe
illness? Mrs. Hendricks-Yes, doctor,
and he thought you had better wait un.
til he gets a little stronger.-Lyfe.
Mar still triumphant: "There's no
use OF denying it, woman has the in.
ventive faculty highly developed"
What did a woman eve inventpr
why, the bell-punch, for instance"
perhaps she did, but it was man who
inyentedthe whisky punch."-Nebraska
State Journal.
a Connecticut woman has embroid-
cred the words and music Of "Home,
sweet Home" on q linen sheet which
IS on the spare-room bed. Her guests
nave not decided whether the hostess
means to indicate thai they must feel
at home, or had better go home
Boston TfGveler.
Miss McCusker (of Cincinnatil-
I'm SO glad to see you, dear. And Just
IN time for the party, too. Miss
Hinckley (of New York)-Tm afraid
I'm too tired to dissipate much. Miss
McC.-This isn't dissipation, chere
annie. Papa's invited several people
to 60 over to the factory and see them
pack pork tomorrow.--1Ed-B BITS.
New arrival Tin New York; / was
told to come here, for information
about getting naturalized. New York
oticial-Happy to meet you, sir; hope
you had a pleasant passage. What
can l do for youp 81 wish to know
how long a man must be in this
country before he can yote?" ssUm-
er-which ticketp"-Omaha World.
The e~nterprising parson: Eastern
country rustic Ito the new in.
cumbenG-Begy y pardon, sir, but be
yeau agoin' to farm yer glebe, STRIP
Cause as how-that's the artist an for.
rudest bit O. land in the who'll parish
an our last parson, he used to get in
his haye-then he clap on the Drawer
for rain! an where wor weP-PanoI.
Omaha man-Your ~sojourn in Texas
seems to have done you a great deal
OF good; must be a fine climate. Re.
turned invalid feel like q new man
but it wasn't the climate, it was the
exercise. 1--WE never could prevail IN
you to take exercise here II was ON
d Jump all the time in Texas.n
well, WE'LL Effects of the ARP" .No;
centipedes." -Omaha World.
J They had asked DIR. Sandblast. the
eminent surgeon, to carve the festal
fowl, and he stood over it with the carv-
ing-knife delicately held in first posi-.
lion. 1.-THE incision, you will observe
gentlemen" he began, dreamily, .com-
mences a little to the left of the median
Ilne, and-O! excuse me, Mrs. Parmalee
i thought / was in the-the-may I
help you to a little of the femur?'-
Puck.
They r all getting up oil trusts,
sugar trusts, and various other kinds
OF trusts" said a man, entering a coal
dealers office; sis there to be a coal
trust, too~ 81 don't know" said the
coai-dealer, scratching his head; 81
don't read the papers much. But
there's one thing / can tell you. There
Won't be no coal trust in this office.
and don't you forget it."-Boston
Courier.
Rich man (shiyering)-Is there no
coal9 servant-All gone, sir;
left this bundle, sir" ..My fingers are
too stiff to open it. Is there anything
to show what it ISL" Eyes, sir; Ills Ia
bundle OF appeals to public opinion
from the combination of locked-out
mine owners and from the .~associa-
ton OF striking coal miners.,n ..Thank
heaven! Put it on the ffe."-Omaha
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