The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1888-09-08
BORROWED HUMOR

10 tan Courier
BORROWED HUMOR
"BEoMLEY's not bad singer. Bpt
] what is the reason he generally sef,cts .
| Shells of the Ocean ?'' Because ha ST
used to be in the clam business posi-
biy."-1ime.
| "YoU are very late tonight. Georga -
said the girl, half proachfully. yes
dear: your ather's new dog met me NJ
the gate, and I've been trying to make
| iriends with him. Men York Sun.
Brown IAN editor)-They say halftba
reading done by the public is of fiction
| How dreadful Jones "a novelist
Frightful ! | did not suppose the news
papers were perused so eXtenslveIy.-
Time.
FIRST lady-Have you any hired helm
now Second lady-Well half and
half say. First LADY, don't under
stand quite. Second ladv-Whv. it Is
hired but it is no WASHINGTON
| Critic.
| TEACHER-Try to remember this: Nil.
ton, the poet, was blind. Do You think
you can remember it? "Yes ma'am."
Nov what was Millions great mi-lor-
tune ?'' He was a poet. "-LueoM
formal.
| HUsBAND-'Tve some bad news. NV
dear; that Old bachelor brother of mine
has 1ailed-lo,t his entire fortune"
| Wife-"O, John, now dreadful , and
just as we had named the baby after
him. Poor little IelloW '-H1rpsr'g Ba-
| zdr
JANE under 8, to her goyernessg-
| Miss Fox, wien ma asks you TO have
| i 4, /
| say yes. GOyerneSs - Why, what do
| YOU wish me to take some more wine
| Tor Jane-Oh, | only wantto see mas
| face
FREE lunch expert TO bartender
| Them cucumbers amt as fresh as they
| might be, Mr. Barkee per. BARTENDER
They were fresh enough when vou
| begun on the lunch, but how long do
you expect cucumbers to remain fresh
-Neu York Sun.
Miss CAUsrIC-' How persistent Mr..
opeck is in his attentions to you. my
| dear !" Miss Sopt-"Isn't he. though
really think he is not just right in his
| mind" Miss Chow discerning YOU
are. my dear Exactly the same idea
occurred to me"
q see in the papers, Miss Boylston,7
remarked Mr. Lakeside, of Chicago,
that Mr.. Lowell, of your city, was NV
en- dinner by the London authors"
| Indeed ?'' replied Miss Boylston, with
| a Slight cough, Il hope the dinner en-
| ioyed him. Life.
CUSTOMER Ito fruit SELLER GLOW
much for the plums, Aunty - Auuty:
| penny apiece, sab. ." Customer.
| That's very high for plums, Aunty.
| Can't YOU let me have four for cents
| Aunty: NO, sab; dem plums cost me
mo n dat. "-Epoch.
RoBINsoN-I say, DumTey, that UNI
| brella | lent you last week | saw Jones
carrying this morning. Dumlvy-Nou
| don say so. l let Smith take it yestcr-
| day and he must have loaned it to
Jones. That man Smith can't be de.
pended upon.-Epoch.
81 HEAR you are erecting young
mems college in your town. SAID
| Alpha to Omega. GLOW is it progress
| ing ?" ''Splendidly," replied Omega
| THE baseball grounds are already laid
out, and ground will be broken Tor the
| college building in couple of months
-N0rrjStoUH Herald.
A SOCIETY item says that pet dogs are
| now clad in mantles with pockets for
| holding Jumps of sugar, bracelets on
their paws, and a string of little silver
bcIlS dIOLuI the utth. IbbletIAN Oh
| neglected children missed a mighty
good thing by not being born pet dogs.
-Norristoua Herald.
MARY-The butcher is here, ma am;
what shall order ? Mrs. Morris Parke
Dear me, l haven't thought. What
| can we have for dinner, Mary? Mary
| (thoughtfully)-Id don't know, ma'am.
Mrs. Norris rarke-Oh, cant you make
a suggestion Mary (cheertullyl-I
can try. y What do you make it OF:
\ PLEASED old lady-Old lady to elder
ly"bride-pn wedding trip THAT young
man who Just went into the smokin' car
seems very fond O. youma am. Elderly
bride-Ah, yes, John loves me most
dearly Old lady-It does my old
heart good to see such affection IN these
days; is he the only son We got
ma'am ?-Epoch.
UNCLE RALTUs Ito lawyer)-"Kin git
er man rested fo' calm me a bald
headed ole thief Misther Blank p
Lawyer Certainly. Uncle Rastus, no
man has any right to call you such
name" Uncle Rastus-"Da what |
thought, sab. When er man gifts IL be
as ole as | am faint his fault that he's
bald headed. -Harper's Bazdr.
81 WISH my wife would buy or sell
some OIL" said an Oil City man who
had tried in vain to make a good turn
in the market. "Why p" asked
friend. Because l think she would
hit it right; she's lucky" Glow do You
know she is ?'' Because she once took
chance in lottery and drew a fine
prize" What pr Me Tell her to
never speculate.
They were going to Saratoga the next
day, and she donned her new suit TO
show her papa how sweet she looked
in 1t. The old man was enthusiasts.
Beautiful, my dear, beautiful Now,
what kind of suit do you call that
Papa" she said, as she shyly fingered
button on his coat, chats a business
suit. Mem York World.
WOMAN Ito tramp:) 81 don't see how
you kin eat such hot weather / don't
swallow enough to keep a bird alive.
Tramp quitting away the last mOrSe!I
Madam, poor people have to put up
with a great deal" Woman: 81 s'pOsr
SO. Now, can't you saw little wood
Tramp (reproachiully:) Madam, if
you think II is too hot to eat it is Ger
tainlv too hot to saw wood-woman is
nothing if not inconsistent. "-Epoct.
SHE-Hush Not another word He
O, don't decide now; don't ! beg OF YOU,
Take time to consider. Remember the
For mercv's sake, stop Wait
"Wait III wait century if need be.
Like Jacob, I'll serve" She lat-
ter rushing frantically around the room
and peeping into all the corners H
isn't here, after all" "Who-who
O, have / a riyal-have-" Calm
yourself, Mr.. Nicefellow. II thought
l heard my little brother in the room.
Go on. -PHjIodeiphja Record.
HARD working tramp-Haven't lyon
got cord or two Of wood YOU want
sawed after breakfast Astonishci
housewife, eagerly-Indeed 1 have, and
would like to have it sawed right away
Hard working tramp ,eagerly-All right.
it's go. Eats breakfast for three and
rises to 90, saying, "I'll keep my eyes
omen and if see a man in our line that
looks as though he would like to saw tlai
wooJ I'll send him along j. BrD0ElgI