davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-16
BRIGHT BITS.

81 TELL YOU, Susie, that will commit suicide
if you won't have me-"
well, Thomas as soon as you have given
me that proof of your affection. will believe
that you love me. "-BufdIo Commercial Id
| CertiSer,
THE ear had run off the track
"Well,n said the old man. Il think it is time
street cars were run on scientific principles.
Darn the principles. replied the young man
Il think it is time they were run on the rails. v
Washington Critic.
LESSON IN TECHNIQUE Young Housekeeper
i don't see what I'm to do. I've been adver
Using for servant for week, and haven't re
ceived single application.
Experienced Dame.-Iry advertising for a
girl.-1he Cartoon
| do you consider the most miserable of animals
WILLAMETTE camel
Teacher-Why
William-SometimeS it has to go for weeks
without drink Lincoln Journal
OLD CYNIoUs-What remarkably homely
man Mr.. Smugge is!
Mrs Affabe-Ah, my dear, sir, but he has a
face that grows on you.
Old Cynicus- forbid, madam, that such
face should grow ever on me.--Totcn Topics.
How is your employer, Sambo? 1 heard he
Yes sab; but he's sufferin' most from the
reaction before he fell sab"
20, the reaction came first did it?"
1eS, san, de mule kicked MIN OOer -
Springfield Union.
my beloved brethren" said a Dakota
preacher from his pulpit, ION looking over the
collection of last Sabbath morning you can
imagine my pleased surprise to find therein a
blue chip. Our dear brother, Deacon Dewrte,
kindly cashed it in. The Lord loveth cheerful
giver. Exchange
WHERE THE Fun CAME Init was his first
visit to the city As he stood on the curbstone
shaking his sides with laughter he was accosted
by one of New Ravens finest:
What's the fun, Stranger"
Fun? Can't you see it? Just look how that
thing pointing TO a watering Cart leaks. Why
the blame fool won't have a drop left when he
gets home. "-Ne1C HaUen Neics.
I.ANDLADY lat cheap boarding house, Atlantic
City)-I will try to make you comfortable, sir
| know the rooms are awfully small, and the
furniture is not very elaborate, in fact quite the
contrary, but
Guest surveying his meager surroundings
Oh, don't speak of it, madam, don't speak of it
| shall enjoy it. The fact is before my uncle
died and left me enough to live on with
economy, spent some time in an almshouse.-
The Cartoon.
Too Much OF A STRAIN.-Caller-Wha has
become of your new clerk?
Grocer-Poor fellow He wasn't cut out for
this business. The second day after he began
work an order was received from an uptown
lady calling among other things for can of
the best baking powder. He went to the baking
powder shelf and began studying the labels and
circulars to find out which. make was the best,
and when came in a few minutes later he was
a raviug maniac.-The Cartoon.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-16
YOUTH AND AGE UNITED.
A Boy Of II Marries a Widow of 40
Against His Fathers Protests.

From the NeU York Sun.
Troy, Sept. 1S-There was a notable wedding
at 81 Second avenue, Lansingburg, this evening.
The contracting parties were Virgil Martin,
aged II, apd Fannie Ward, widow of 40. The
groom is a son of the Rev Judson w. Martin, a
Baptist clergyman, but despite his prayers and
protestations he could not keep his boy from the
widows side. The Rev. Mr. Hahn of the Vail
Avenue Baptist church was, some time ago, re-
quested to pei form the ceremony, but he de-
oiued and the widow sent to New Jersey for
the minister who married her twenty four years
declined to give his name or residence, it was
said that he is the Rev. Mr. Lucas. He told the
writer that he had off1ciated at both
of Mrs. Wards weddings. Mrs. Ward
owns considerable property left her by her first
husband the inventor of the Ward fire hydrant
News of the marriage spread quickly and the
event proved great attraction. From the time
house was surrounded by several hundred per
sons. the younger of whom gave the couple a
serenade, in which the instruments used were
fish horns, tin pans and drums of all sorts and
sizes The din vas terrific, but the neighbors
found no fault. The newly welded pair intended
to go to New York by boat tonight but were
unable to leave the house, some of the crowd
having securely fastened the front door so that
it could not be opened from the inside, and
when the fastenings we're finally removed there
was no time TO catch the boat
The groom is quite fine looking fellow, and
was employed in Miller. Hall & Hartwell's collar
shop as 81 week. The doinss of the pair have
for some time been the topic of much unfavor.
able comment, and it is probable that they will
deem it advisable to remove from their present
home. Mrs. Martin purchased an elaborate out
fit for her husband
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-16
Recalling a Memory.
From the Boston Transcript.


Did the reader ever try to follow out, from
step to step, the process by which he recalls to
mind something which he has not forgotten
and knows he has not forgotten, but which he
can't think of for the life of bimY One meets a
man on the street whose face he remembers
perfectly well. There is no doubt about it; it is
no mere resemblance to some one else, because
the mans features have been impressed upon
the recollection in such way that their image
is fixed there. But who is the man and where
was he met? One hears melody which strikes
his ear with an undoubted sense of Familiarity
in 80 much that he anticipates the strains as
they come out; but what is it? Now, in such a
situation, there is no such thing as compelling
a recollection. If you sit down, and grit
your teeth. and exclaim, Il will remember
that, f." the chances are that you never will. But
if you say, Hold on while it'll come to me- ~
and then gently encourage its return, wecom-
ing all the vagrant suggestions of the brain and
dismissing them only when they have proved
that they do not FIJI the bill, you feel Yourself
getting nearer and nearer 10 the right thing
By and by the suggestions come thick and fast,
and you have an agreeable impression. Almost
That was very near it. But why almost? It
wasn't IT, and had no resemblance to it; aud
consequently. it would SEEM might as well have
been a thousand miles away. AS well a thou
sand miles away Not at all; it is on the same
shelf with the thing you are after, and that Is
why you had the peasureable impression that
you had almost got it. Then you strike some
thing that is little nearer STILL and now your
hand is on the very thing you are searching for.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-16
Irregular Mail Service.

1t doesn't take great deal to paraIyze
the mail service in this part of the south.
A washout or local quarantine delays the
mails for days, even when there are ways
open to the territory beyond the washout or
quarantine. The things needed for better
service are organization and intelligent
direction.
These complaints about bad mail service
are not frivolous For instance, thor
oughly reliable gentleman, who lives at
Guyton, on the Central railroad,
thirty miles from this city, said
yesterday that no mails had been received
there for three days, although there is a
regular train running to Halcyondale,
twenty miles beyond that place. Is there
any good reason why the mails should not
have been forwarded to Guytons 1t is true
that there is washout on the Central and
| the regular schedule of trains is dis
arranged but could not the mails
have been sent forward to the
points that can be reached! The people of
Guyton have very good reason to find fault,
and the wonder is that their complaints
haven't been more emphatic.
The service south of Savannah is still
very irregular. When the fever made its
appearance at Jacksonville, aud the rail
roads were forced to change their schedules
and routes, there was an excuse for delays
in forwarding the mails, but a sufficient
time has elapsed for the postal authorities
to recover their equanimity, and the rail
way officials to arrange for new connec-
tions. There is no excuse whatever now for
annoying irregularities and vexatious de-
lays.
The fast mail goes regularly through to
South Florida by way of La Villa, and also
to Middle and West Florida by way of
Gainesville and Live Oak, but somehow or
other the people in those sections don't get
their mails on time, or anywhere near on
time If the postal officials could see some
of the complaints which reach this office
they would wonder whether they are the
right men for the places they occupy.
All the irregularities and delays of the
mails cannot be charged to the account of
washouts and the fever. Complaints have
been received for several weeks, and from
sections which are not affected by either
washouts or the fever. 1t is clear that
there is neglect or incompetency some
where. The superintendent of the mail
service for this section ought to find out
where it is, and exert himself to remedy the
evils complained of. The Postmaster Gen
eral must be beginning to realize by this
time that the people of the south are getting
tired of making complaints about the mail
service without getting any relief He has
heard of this matter in congress, and if
there is not an improvement i'll the service
he will likely hear of it there again, and in
shape that will not be very complimentary
to him.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-16
NDEI TO NEW ADyERINENENTN

SPECIAL NoT1cEs-E. A. Schultze, Teacher Oh
Voice. Etc; Drug Notice, w. A. Pigrnan
Teachers Wanted, W. II. Baker. Superlntend
ent; Removal w D. Simkins & Coz Price OF
Coal Until Further Notice, g. l. Taggart Tc
the Public. James P. LAWN, Executor Estate
NJ LAWN; And He Gets There All the Same
Strauss Printing Company; Special Notice
Lindsay & Morgan; Eaten Away by Ants
Townsend; $500 Reward Parsons Pike.
The LAST CHANcE-1he Famous
The D1soRGANIzERs OF HIGH PRIcEs-MoTi
son. Foye & Co,
CHEAP COLUMN ADVERTISEMENTS - Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent; For
Sale; Lost; Miscellaneous.
CHOICE Wood. R. Thomas.
CRASH! BANG,-Gray & O'Brien.
Oh! SEE HERE B. H Levy & Bro.
NEWSPAPER FOR SALE-One-haf Interest In a
Georgia Weekly Paper.
The LArEsT-Lindsay & Morgan
FRUITs-A. H. Champion
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-16
AuRusta's Grit.

Augusta is showing genuine grit. She has
not made any parade of the wounds which
the food inflicted upon her, and has gone
bravely to work to heal them. Her loss by
the overflow is placed at 81 900 900 The
probabilities are that that estimate will
prove to be too small. There can be no cor
rect estimate made yet awhile, because it is
not known how long her great cotton mills
will DO Idle, nor how much damage will be
done to her trade. She is showing the right
kind of spirit however-the kind that over
comes sll obstacles and that will repair, in
"A r. esonable time, all her injuries.
Is it not possible to protect Augusta
against overfiowsl If it is, it is about time
for her citizens to think about doing so. The
cost OF building the necessary levees would,
doubtless, be very great, but it would be
better to incur great expense for protec-
ton than to suffer great loss every few
wears The danger to which Augusta is
exposed is an obstacle to her prosperity, and
if the danger can be removed it ought to be
as soon as possible.
This month has been one of great storms
in many parts of the world Cuba has suf-
fered unprecedented loss in life and prop
erty from cyclone Great floods are re-
ported in Mexico, Switzerland, Austria and
other parts of the world. Augusta is not
the My city that has suffered, but we have
a much more lively appreciation o. her
losses, and a much stronger sympathy
for her because she is our near neighbor
and her people are bound to us by close
fiaa
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-16
Another Parrot Story.


Once upon a time as they say in fairy stories
a wicked major in the United States army
crossed the Atlantic in steamer In the next
room to his was spinster OF a certain age, a.
thoroughly good as the major was wicked
Both of them were accompanied by parrots OF
large conversational powers. Tue major wa.
taking parrot 10 England TO present 1t TO a
friend in the English army; the spiister appar-
emily had brought along the bird as a travelling
companion.
Both birds were exceptionally clever linguists
but their talents had been moulded in oppos site
schools. The majors bird swore like a trooper
most of the time, while the spnster's was given
to praying with forty parson power. And &c
make matters worse the major spent a day in
the forecastle with his bird teaching it to objur
gate the old woman in tho next cabin. The con
sequence was that the next evening the spinster
was astonished to hear a voice stridentiy saw,
"Confound that old woman next door,
But how can her disgust be pictured when her
own nird, deyoutly quoting from the Episcopal
Litany, replied: Good Lord, we beseech Thee
to hear us!
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-16
Health is Wealth.

DR Z. G. WEST g NERVE AND BRAIN TarAr.
AESr, guaranteed specific for Hysteria, Di1xi.
ness, Commissions, Fits. Nervous Neuralgia,
Headache. Nervous Prostitution caused by the
Depression, Softening of the Brain, resulting in
insanity and leading to misery, decay and
death, Premature OLD Age, Barrenness, Loss of
Power in either sex, Involuntary Losses and
brain, self-abuse or over-indulgence. Each box
contains one months treatment; 81 a box. or
six boxes for SIS, sent by mail. prepaid on re-
any case. With each order received bv ms for
six boxes, accompanied with IS, we will send
the purchaser our written guarantee to refund
the money il the treatment does not effect a
HEIDI COMPANY, Wholesale Druggists, Sole
Agents, corner Congress and Whitaker streets,
Savannah. Ga
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-16
Camp Perry.

Camp Perry has undergone very
great change since the arrival there Of Sur
geon General Hamilton A good many
small cabins have been erected, which are
much more comfortable than the tents,
especially in rainy weather. Other cabins
will be erected, and the accommodations,
which are now much greater than they were
week or two ago, will probably be sufii.
cient to meet all the demands upon the
camp.
The surgeon general is doing much to
prove that his plan of depopulating a city
in which there is an epidemic is the correct
one. The plan is to get as many
people rs possible TO leave the city
as soon as there is good reason
10 believe that an epidemic is threatened,
and before the people become generally in
fected, and after the epidemic has got a
good start to maks the clmps, in whic ten
days detention is required, the only means
of leaving the infected place
1t is dangerous for refugees TO leave nm
infected city for places where they cannot
have intelligent medical treatment and
nursing, IL they are stricken with the fever.
and it is dangerous for the places to which
they 20, because they carry the infection.
If surgeon general satisfactorily demon
strates before tho Jacksonville epidemic Is
over that the plan of establishing refugee
camps is a succ sssful one, his stay at Camp
Perry will not have been without benefits
outside Of the assistance rendered TO the
people Of Jacksonville, because the plan
will no longer be an experiment, and
will, therefore, be adopted in dealing with
epldeInics in the future.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-16

-
The MORNING NEWS is published every Gay IN
me yesr, and is served to subscribers IN ue ot!g
at 2S cents week, 81 90 = n onth' - w ior Blk
months and SO 90 for one year
The MoRNIHs NEWS, By mod, one month,
81 a.: three months. Ss 50; six months - W;
one year, $40 90 .,
qbe MoRSrSe NEWS ~ MAN, six umee q
.rsak without Sunday issueL three months
Se 90; six months. 81 90 one year, IS 90
Tho MonNINs NEWS, Tri-Weekly, MONDAYS
wednesdays and Fridays or Tuesdays, Thurs
Says and Saturdays three months u 70; SIX
mouths, So 80; one wear, S. 90.
The SUNDAY NEw& By mod one .y year; sg ~ 20
snbscriptions payable In advance. Remit by
costaI order check or registered letter Cur
renoy sent by mail at risk of senders
This paper is kept on file and advertising rates
- ba ascart aimed at the Office of the Ameri-
can Newspaper Publishers Association ION
Temple Court, New York City. ,.s
Letters end kilograms should DO auuf
~AioRSISe News, Savannah ga
Advertising rates made known on application.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-16
Facts.


From the PhilddelDhj1 Ledger (Rep)
Ceveland's administration has been free from
official or personal scandal; has been honest
and clean. There have been no star-route rob
berries, no war department corruption, no profil-
gate waste by United States marshals, no treas
ury combinations or speculatons, no corrupt
operations IN or through the land Office. No
American, at home or abroad, has had occasion
things under Mr.. Cleveland's administration.
On the contrary, there has been resoute effort
TO promote honest government, to increase eff
cheney and to lessen expenses.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-16

This September weather is said TO cause
congressman to experience longing to
quit business in Washington and go home.
Only one obstacle is in the way of their
doing so, and that is the failure of the re-
publican Senate to take action on the
tariff. If the Senate would pass the Mills
bill, the statesmen might return to their
families, or go on the stump, as the case
may be, and the psople would approve
The Mills bill is one that would benefit the
people
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-16

A large number Of Grand Army men
called on Judge Thurman at Columbus, O.,
last week. Mr.. Thurman gave them a
hearty welcome. He was asked the other
day by reporter what he thought of the
result of the Maine election, and answered
that the republican majority is no larger
than he expected, and will have no bearing
on the general election. The old Roman
has lived a good many years, and he ought
to know what be is talking about.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-16
The Lesser of Two Evils.
From the baltimore American (Rep

From the Baltimore american (Rep)
Two conductors on the Georgia Pacific rail
way brought their respective trains to a stand
still on the main track and settled with pistols
the question as to who was entitled to the right
of way. One of the duelsts was MORALLY
wounded, and the dispute came to an end. We
are opposed on general principles to this bar
barous method of deciding question; at the
same time, we must confess that under the cir
cumstances above set forth, duel between two
train hands is always to be preferred to duel
between two trains
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-16

Nothing could be more explicit than the
denial Gen. Harrison makes over his sigma
ture Of ever having said that dollar a day
is enough for workingman," says the
Baltimore american. When did he ever
make such deniall Has the american
seen private letter from him on the sub
ject, OF is it talking about the lodging act
performed oy Gen. Harrison the o.her day
at the request of a Pennsylvania republi-
Cnnf
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-16

What is this we hear about the aged Han
nibal Hamlin, of Mr.. Biaine's pocket Dor
oughs Scratched the republican state
TICKET, did hes Well, well When Hanni-
bal Hamlin goes back on the party, its dis
integratiop is only matter of time. After
this, nobody need be surprised to hear that
Mr.. Hamlin, his son and his nephew, who
followed bis example, have joined the mug
wumDS
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-16

The factors begin to want cotton greatly.
If the Central's trains are delayed much
longer by the freshet, will not the Central
management have to consider the adyis-
ability of bringing some Of its cotton freight
to the city over the tracks of other roads?
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-16

DIR. George W. Stoner, who is in charge
of the marine hospital service durin :
DIR. Hamilton's absence, thinks that a
month hence the yellow fever in Florida
will have run its course, and the number Of
cases will decrease until it disappears He
is puzzled TO know where Prof. Proctor CON
tracted the disease.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-16

Chairman Quay's opinion that congress
had better adjourn and go home is said to
lie shared by a good many republican
senators, who are afraid Mr.. Cleveland will
throw another firebrand among them.
They are continually wondering what he is
going to do next. About Nov. next he is
going to he Endorsed by a solid army of
democrats.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-16
Take Notice, Purchasers

The market IS glutted with worthless pre-
parations for the teeth. Beware of them
Many corrode and abrade the enamel Of
the teeth and injure them irreparably. Use
sterling SOZODONT and keep the dental
row sate and beautiful.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-16

Col Lester, the democratic nominee for
congress for this district, opened his con
gressional canvass with an interesting and
eloquent speech at Waycross yesterday on
national issues
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-16

The position of Mayor Hewitt, of New
York, concerning another term seems to
be this: If anybody wants him to run
again, he won't do it; if nobody wants him
to run again, he will make the race, nomi-
nation or 20 nomination. Queer old codger!
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-16

Mr. H. I. Kim all, somewhat distin-
guished citizen of Atlanta, thinks Gen. Har-
rison will split the solid south if he is
elected. From which it is to be inferred
that the south will continue to be solid sew
eral years longer
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-16

The young negro boy who was tried il
Baltimore few days ago for the murder of
a 2-year-old child has been acquitted; and
to show his appreciation of his lawyers
efforts in his behalf, he offered them 25
cents. Very likely that was the sum of his
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-16

Senators Spooner and Evarts, who have
assumed charge, for the time being, of the
southern outrage mill, don't understand
the machine as we'll as Senator Chandler
If Chandler doesn't grease the old
thing and show Spooner and Evarts how to
run it, it will go TO pieces.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-16
What Will Levi Say?

From the Nashville american (Dent)
The country now waits with bated breath for
the views of Candidate Levi on imported con.
tract labor, particularly of the dairy maid and
section of his letter of acceptance to this sub
iect.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-16

Prof. Proctor. the eminent astron-
omer who died i'll New York, the
other day, of yellow fever, had
been twice married-the last time to a
Mrs. Mallery, daughter of Capt C. NJ.
Thompson, of st. Joseph, Mo. Capt
Thompson says of Prof. Proctor that he
was the most interchangeable worker he ever
knew. 1t requires work to acco nplish any
thing in this world, and Prof. Proctor's
life affords another example of the super
iority of application over genius.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-16
CURRENT COMMENT.
Blaine's Proxy.

From the Neo York Herald (End.)
But as for Harrison, he is well enough as
Blaines shadow. He will be tractable and docile
and do as he is told So after all. il Harrison
is elected, Blaine may be President.