Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-01-26
A Sad, Sad Story.
REDwING. Kans., Jan.

We clip the following sad, sad story
from the ''Redwing Carrier-Pigeon." :"
the editor of which is a simple man
with New England legs and other quail
fcations. Were it not true we would
not have clipped the passage; clipped it
reads:
1t WAS once unto a certain time,
when calm gentleman of a genus
magic lantern professor, and of a fami-
ly of dead-beats, of the grand division
of mushrooms, happened to strike into
the ''Redwing" part of our republic.
And this gentleman's age was few in
years, his assets small, his aggregating
dimensions enormous and he was gem
orally known unto the community as
Prof. F--n. He was upright in his
standing, angelic in his manners and
customs, afluent in conversation and
the owner of magic lantern accessories,
with One-hoss shay accompaniment.
And he came unto the teacher of the
Redwing schools; beStowing unto him
free ticket of pale blue color, mark
et-rated at 15 cents. Likewise, he be-
slowed unto the teacher at last Is
pounds of show bills, and it were ex-
pressly agreed upon that the teachers
were to distribute these far and wide.
from one end of the district even unto
the other, i'll manner so as to
spread the tidings of awe back and
forth. And it was given to under
stand by and with these posters that
we were to be honored even by a per-
sonal call from the professor, and at
the evening season his talent were to
be exhibited, and the audience annoy
ed for period of the lasting of their
patience. And the goodman II. E.
Smith, of goodly courage and character,
by main chance happened to live near
the premises of the exhibit (No. Az
and our professor was tempted to stop
even unto the place and provide for
his, and his horses, supper and over
night shelter. And the landlady was
exposed to much haste and extra work
to provide for this genius, specimens of
which seldom appear on the soil of
Barton county. And after supper he
demanded the official keys of the school
house, but was refused of them and
the doors were opened by a response
bic party. And when he arrived at the
school house, he first moved things to
suit his conclusions, but he gave it over
and stretched some carpet bagging
across the blackboard, and arranged
his instrument rightly. And he re-
marked toward the teacher: Think
you, o sage, that large crowd will
gather OH this night?" And the
teacher answered in an affirmative
mood. Among the first of the crowd
were the inmates of the Runners
hotel, Ia railroad affair." but these left
even before the show. All the officers
and families of the district board hop
ing to receive complimentary tickets
appeared in due season to witness the
performances. But they paid dearly
for their forwardness. This Interested
the district clerk, and his wrath was
not bounded by any principles, and he
secretly told the landlady to charge
the professor even to exceed double
the righteous price.
The entertainment ended at last and
the people went wrathfully home, and
swore vengeance. he. the Professor,
asked cOnfdentially of the teacher:
Mote it be possible, that the landlady
could ask pittance for my overnight
stay?" And the teacher replied, 80
sir, it mote yet be possible that the land
lady could ask a small sum- In the
morning just as the professor was
about to go away, he asked the teacher
'What were the use of asking the lady,
if she wanted aught to compensate
her" He was sacredly advised ''to see
about it," When he went in and asked.
in an Indifferent way, were he owing
ought2" 1t WAS a critical moment and
very modest voice prompted to with,
"a dollar The coin was fOrked over
and the professor made good his retreat.
The last seen of the professor was a
dense cloud of dust on the other side of
the Bottom May others profit by
this advice. II. G. BENKE.
A Sound Squib.
The editor of the Emporia Neecs has