St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-09-17
POOLING TIE OLD MAN.
One of the Early Stories That
Made NJ. Ouad'S Reputation.


Mr.. Brasser, who lives on North ave-
nue., has son twelve years old, named
Claudius, and the other evening this boy
received permission to allow neigh
boris boy to stay all night with him.
The old people slept downstairs in the
Sitting-rOOm and the boys were put in a
room directly above. When they went
up to bed ClaudiuS had the clothes line
under his coat, and the neighbours boy
had mask in his pocket. They didn't
kneel down and say their prayers like
good boys and then jump into bed and
tell bear stories, but as soon as the door
was locked the BrasSer boy remarked:
you'll see more fun around here to-
night than would lie on ten-acre lot!'
From closet they brought cut cast
off suit of Brasser's clothes, stuffed
them with whatever came handy, tied
the mask and an old straw hat on for
head, and while one boy was carefully
raising the window the other was tying
the clOtheSline around the man." The
image was lowered down in front of the
sitting room window, lifted up once or
twice. and old Brasser was heard to
leap out of bed with a great jar. He
was just beginning to dOZe when he
heard sounds under his window, and his
wife suggested that it was a cow in the
yard. He got up, pulled the curtain
away, and as he beheld man standing
there he shouted:
"Great heavens: but It's q r0bDer!'
and he jumped into bed.
''rheOdOrius BraSSer, are you fOOl"'
screamed the wife, as he monopoliZed
all the bedclOtheS to cover up his head.
''Be quiet, you old jade, you'll" he
whispered. perhaps hell 90 away"
Don't you call me jade" she re-
piled, reaching over and trying to find
his hair. ''Git up and git the gun and
blow his head Off"
''Oh, you do itI'
''Git up. you old coward" she
snapped. 'I'll never live with you an
other day if you don't do it,"
BrasSer turned up the lamp, sat up in
bed and shouted out:
lis that you, bOysW
Mercy on me. get upr' yelled the
wife, as the straw man was knocked
against the window.
"I'll blow his head off as clean as
milkr' said BraSser in a loud voice, as
he got up. He struck the stove three
or four times, upset chair ana reached
behind the foot of the bed and drew out
an old army musket.
Now, then, for blood ~ he continued
as he advanced to the window and lifted
the curtains.
The man was there. face close to the
glass. and he had such malignant eX-
preston of cOuntenance that BTaSSer
jumped back with cry of alarm.
xiii him shoot him down. you old
nOodlehead!" screamed the wife.
Il wildly thunder! | whip rOared
BraSSer. and he blaZed away and tore
out nearly all the lower sash.
The boys up stairs uttered yell and
q grOan, and BraSSer jumped for the
window to see if the man was down.
He wasn't. He stood right there, and
he made leap at Brasser.
He's coming in!-perlice !-bOys!-
ho-periice'' roared the old man.
The battered curtain permitted Mrs.
BrasSer to catch sight of man jumping
up and down, and she yelled:
"TheOdOriuS, Pm going to faintm
'Faint and be derned! Boys! per-
liceI' he replied. wallODing the sheet
iron stove with poker.
Don't you dare to talk that way to
mer' shrieked the old woman, recover
ing from her desire to faint.
"Po-leece" "Po-Ieece" now came
from the boys upstairs, and while one
continued TO shout the other drew the
man up, tore him limb from limb and
Secreted the pieces.
Several neighbOrS were aroused, an
officer came up from the station and a
search of the premises were made. Not
so much as a track in the snow was
found, and the officer put on an injured
look and said to Mr.. Brasser:
"a guilty conscience needs no ac-
cuser."
That's so," chOrused the indignant
neighborS, as they departed.
As Mr.. Brasser hung a quilt before
the shattered window he remarked to
his wife:
Now, see what an old cundurango
you made of yOurselfr'
Don't fling an insult at me, or I'll
choke the attenuated piece of yOu!' she
replied
The boys kicked around on the bed,
chucked each other under the ribs and
cried:
1T is better to be boy than be presi-
dentl"