Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-05-04
WASTED EFFORT.
A MINISTER'S VAIN ATTEMPT TO
TALK RELIGION TO A DAKOTA
MAN.

"My dear brother" said Rev.
Mr.. LeatherbouDd, meeting an old
neighbOr on the West Side, now a
DakOtan, reyisiting his native city.
81 have been wanting to come
around and have a serious tax
with sou. / fear me greatly,
in your new life and struggle for
wealth, you will neglect yonr fu
ture state"
"Neglect my future state ? Not
if the court knows herself For
what do you think Pm jeopardiz.
ing my business interests at home,
and risking my health in the
abomiDable climate, if not for my
future statel Dye think I'd 60
down to Washington, and vegetaie
with my system full of malaria,
and pockets loaded with quinine,
If | wasn't interested I Do you
imagine that rd let my coal mine,
creamery, trust company, news
paper and cattle ranch run them
selves to come on EastT
"Oh . That is most gratifying;
but ! was concerned lest in this
mad rush for riches your interests
might become divided
"Diviledl Not much All the
rattie.brained, meaIy-tongued, dis
d.breathing demagogues that
ever desecrated Dakota with their
colossal lies and pusllIanlmous am
bitions will never succeed in di.
viding her up. She'll 60 on as she
Sandstone grand, lnyinclbIe,
magnificent"
"Pardon me, my dear brother;
yOu-that is, misunderstood.
thought you were admitting-7
SNOW you've struck it, my rev.
erend sir. This admission bust.
ness Is what's tearing US up. Just
think OF the knayery, asininity and
jobbery that is keeping us out.
Just you come along with me and
I'll show you facts and figures
thatll make your hair curl. What
do you say of national justice that
ignores 600, 700 people; the claims
OF territory exceeding nine OF the
states in valuation; expending
$4,000, 900 annually for school par.
poses; with 375 papers and 1000
or
snow, my dear brother, | am
speaking of that better country
"Better country' Better moth
ing! No better country ever watt.
ed its aroma on the winds of heav-
en-; no more luxuriant abundance
ever answered the call of Gods
own sunshine; no richer hargests
ever sported on the bosom of ma.
ture; no jucier beef ever whisked
Its tail"
"My dear sir, excuse me again.
Pm not discussing temporal affairs,
but that permanent and everlast.
ing treasure"
"There, now, you've struck 1t
again. Now Pm at home. When
you begin to talk Of treasure you
catch me. Why, do you know,
from the great coal6elds of West
ern Dakota to the gold and silver
mines, not to mention iron, nickel,
antimony, tin and mica of the hills,
to the salt, oil, gas"
"Man aliyep shouted the par.
son, "Pn talking about heaven
and your souls eternal salvation.r
"IIeaven (" gasped the Dakotan,
choking of another column of
statistics. "Well, I'm best if you
city people out here seem to have
caught on to a new idea in ten
years. / grew up as boy while
you talked heaven; went to the
war; came back, emigrated West,
and here, after ten years, you are
pegging away at the same old |
scheme. Now you stop me, a busy
morning like this, when Fm going
down to La Sale street to distrib.
ute a lot Of our boom editions, stop
me for fifteen minutes to chin
about a matter I'd forgotten ages
ago."
And the DakOtan swept down
the street like one of his beloved |
blizzards.-Chicdgo Times.