The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-09-20
BRIGHT BITS

ST. LOUIS BOOKSELLER Ito customer) Books
sir? yes, sir; what can show you? Customer
I've got my bookcase pretty nigh filed up. l
want Somethfn not over @ inches high an
enough of EN- to occupy two foot an half o.
shelvin'.-Ne1O York Sun.
Mr.. s. U. BuRB-Want SO for your pup, Mac?
was IS.
.tcnayn'ne-oi know it, sori but the haste is
only just after eatin' 81 bill dhropped lasht
night, bad luck to him !-PLck.
A FASHION NOTE says that felt hats, trimmed
with simplicity, will be worn great deal this
fall. We don't believe it. No woman will trim
her hat with simplicity when she can get other
trimming that costs good deal more than SIM
plicity. Rochester Post Express.
CHILD-The minister said to-day that in
heaven there was no marrying or giving in
marriage.
Mamma (who had just had little domestic
tiff with papa)-No, my dear, all is peace and
quiet Philadelphia Record.
GREAT Soorrr' exclaimed the rural editor.
in alarm, Il was stuck with bogus dime last
weeS, and now acounterfeit $500 bill has been
put in circulation. There's getting to be alto
gether too much worriment OF mind in the news
paper businessr-NorriStotcn Herald.
FIRST Bon VIvANr-Do you know, Nervely,
that glass bottles injure the quality of wine?
Second bon vivant (seizing bottle and an
empty glass(-Good heavens Mr. Knobb, is that
so? Then we won't let this wine stay in the
bottle another minute.-Tecds Siftings.
Two DANCERS who had been attempting q
waltz at ball stopped moment during a
pause in the music. $50 you are fond of waltz
ing?" asked the lady.
II adore it," responded her cavalier.
Then hadn't you better try and learn?'-
Judge.
MANUAL TRAINING in the school''' cried
Featherweght, Indignantly
mo, sir: If ever l caught teacher lifting
hand to my boy Jimmy there would be the big
gest kind of fight. | believe children should
Ne spanked at home-at home. sirn-Ho,per'S
Bdzdr.
THERE'S fine business motto, =" said ped
dler to the grocer: Honesty is the best policy
It'll pay you to hang that up" Il don't
know" replied the grocer, obviously: but
I'll try one an see how it works. An you can
give me five No Trusts; there's big money in
them. "2Pltck.
VISITOR with manuscript (engagingly) Ihave
brought few verses, sir, for your inspection.
If you will kindly
Literary editor taking manuscript mechanic
ally and laying it on a pile of other poems)-
Ali right. You can call and get it tomorrow.
Chicago Tribune.
HUMMING BIRDS are said to be unusually
abundant in New Jersey orchards but it is be
lieved that some fellow was deceived by seeing
a swarm of Jersey mosquitoes lowering over the
trees. Alta little distance New Jersey mos
quito looks no larger than a hummng bird
Aoir istoWn Herald
'HAvE you license to play?" asked the
young man, as the fair girl was seated at the
organ.
License to play the organ" replied she; Il
never heard of such thing"
80, yes you must have n license to pedal" -
Pittsburg Chronicle TIE 'eQrdph.
MIR. LoNGcuRLs-My dear, can't you suggest a
title for little poem I've written? | will read
it to you: IL am sad tonight, sad love"
Mrs LOngcurls (who is not poetical)-Don (
read rot to Call 1t An lmDpPiIa' g
Balderdrsh;" and, here take this money and
buy ten pounds of liver and four mackerel and
be sure and smell 'em.-Te.rds SiftinQS
AT THE POLICE CouRT.-The judge questioning
a witness-N our name?
"Josephus Horther."
Your age?"
''Forty-three."
your profession?"
Dramatic author"
THAT is not professional is a disease. "
Truth