Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1888-08-24
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A woman who always makes the Train
The dreSsmaker.
If all things are we'll that end we'll,
how about the hornet?
"No,'' said the butter ball; ''thcse are
not hard times with me. >
Always sat par" Ma, when pa stays
out too late at the lodge.
A silent partner is all right when he
doesn't want to have the whole say.
When you lend anybody your fan, you
give them a sort of palm leaf to use It,
Some men are good because goodness
pays best, and then, again, some are good
for nothing.
1t is difficult for a sailor to make
tiller of the soil. He can make it of
wood, though.
Mrs. Bernard Bcere, the eminent
actress, is coming to America, but not in
a schooner, as has been alleged.
It is lack of artistic taste and feeling
that prompts an old man with red
whiskers to wear a jet-black wig.
If ones creditors are adamant, sum-
mer ought to be a good time to ask IA
vors for all are in a melting mood.
eyes, sir, I've walked where formerly
I rode, and I've saved enough money by
the operation to have my shoes resOled."
-Neao York Neecs.
Mrs. jerks Cat dinner)-"Woul you
like some of this oyster-plant, Mr.. Prim?"
Prim-''No, thank you; Pm a strict
vegetarian. "-LJe.
Some one has asked: "Where do flies
60 in winter?" We don't know, but we
wish they would go there in summer
Baltimore Ana ric0n.
Blobson-EDon't you think that
Dempsey rather plays the fool?" Popin-
jay-''No, sir; think that he works at
the job. "-Burzing on Free Press.
Customer getting his hair CUT
Didn't you MP Off piece of the ear
then?" Barber (reassuringly)-"
sir, small piece, but not 'nough to af-
feet the hearin', sir. "-Sytings.
A Lucid Explanation: Teacher (tc
class I'm this stanza what is meant by
the line, The shades of night were fall
ing fast p" Bright Scholar-''The peo-
pie were pulling down the blinds
Maude (beforc tire laughing hyena's
cage)-" How mean! Here we've been
twenty minutes and the hyena hasn't
laughed oncen Ella" Strange, and he's
been cycling your new hat, too! Time.
''Tak of mothers-in-law and sons-in-
law not agreeing" remarked Titmarsn.
''My motherin-law and [ agree. She
says 1 ought not to have married her
daughter, and l coincide with herr
MeteurV.
''This butter is really offensive to the
SMELL" observed the two-dollar- and-a-
half boarder ''Well, what's that got to
do with it," remarked the landlady
Sensible folks eat butter and don't
smell it,
Bishop Con his semi annual round-
"And do you remember me Bobby?"
Bobby-"'Oh, yes, sir; you are the gentle
man ma scolded pa about because you
smoked in the parlor and nearly ruined
the curtains. "--EDOch.
A little girl in Lewiston, Me-, who
was i'll the other evening, called her
mother to her bedside and said piteously:
mamma, l am awful sick; L Just swal-
lowed upward, " and her mamma sympa-
thized with her. -Neao York Ne1cS.
Agent" Madam, can't you induce
your husband to take out life insurance
policy for S1o, 900 in your benefit?"
Madam" I'll try; but have my doubts
about the benefits. Johns got the con-
stitution of an OK. ''-Harper's Bazaar
There was tramp, graceless scamp,
of cheek he had lot; he stole each
meal, and once did squeal: GA cucum-
Der 1ve got" But in the night he woke
in fright and anguish sad to see; he
roared in pain, then did exclaim: THAT
cucumber's got me!'
Down in Marblehead harbor the other
day ''the fleet lay moored." A couple of
old fishermen were sculling about and
CHANGED to look up just in time to spell
out the gold letters on the stern of one of
the yachts: "P-s-y-c-h-ei Well. if
that amt the funniest way to spell fish. ="
B son Herald
g AT an agricultural meeting the other
day The Best way to Keep Girls on the
Farm was discussed. No conclusion
was reached, but we think a barb wire
fence six feet high, minus gates, sur
rounding the farm, would solve the prob
lem. A boy takes his life in his hand
when he attempts to crawl over or under
or through barbed wire fence, and he
doesn't wear hustle, either. Norris