The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1888-12-01
WIT AND WISDOM.

She had told him that she could be a sister to
him only the night before, when Bridget, who was
busting the parlor, said:
There's little box on the nantel, Miss Lulu,
with Tiffanys name on it."
What" exclaimed Miss Lulu, "a box with Tif-
fanys name on it? Why, show 1t to me-"
She carefully opened 1t, and there lay displayed
a set of brfllants that set her heart afire.
"Oh, heavensl" she exclaimed, land told him
would be sister to him. How foolish this sister
business Isl"
have been troubled with catarrh for the
past ten years and have tried a number of rene
dies but found no relief until purchased bottle
of Ely's Cream Balm. consider it the most re-
liable preparation for catarrh and cold in the
head-Geo. E. Crandall, 7. M, Kuonochawn-
taug, r. I.
little incorrigible was trying Intellectually, the
other day. after short storm, to stop the flow of
minerature riyulet with his tiny HANDS.
Take some mud and dam it," said lady
friend of the boys mother, who happened to pass
at the moment.
Miss - says dam the rain; Miss =. says
dam the RAIN" shouted the boy at the top of his
voice, greatly to the horror Of the lady who had
tried in vain TO "help out" the infant terrible.
For any case Of nervousness, Sleep
lessness. weak stomach. indigestion, dyspepsia,
try Carter's Little Nerve Pills. Relief is sure.
The only nerve medicine for the price in market.
The plate on which Waltner engraved Rem
brandt's Night Watch, now in the Amsterdam
museum was cut into hfty-one pieces after fifty
OF the plate as evidence Of the destruction there
OIL cost subscribers $500. The pieces are
mounten in morocco cases, and the owners pride
themselves on being lavish patrons of art.
When Baby was sick, we gave her Castoria,
When she was Child she cried for Castoria,
When she became Miss she chung to Castoria,
When she had Children she gave them Castoris,
"Nrs. Hoskins, Pm glad you've staid to dinner
with us to-day"
THANK you, Johnny. Why are you glad7"
W"I heard mamma tell the cook two hours ago
that there wasn't any sign OF your going, and she
Rasn stayed Ss open pc woSdn hass had SS
serves 1 expect-why, mamma, what are you
punching me that way for"
Backache Is almost Immediately re-
leyed by wearing one of Carriers Smart Weed
and Belladonna BaCkache Plasters. Try one
and be free from pain. Price 20 cents.
Francis Bird once found DR.. s. G.. Howe with
chair He said, Howe, what is the matter?"
81 have the gout' said Howe.
"You have the govt. such a temperance man as
ayes" said the great philEnthropIst; yves,
Bird. my ancestors drank vine, ana must FOOT
the bills"
Twas troubled with cstaIrh for seven years
previous to commencing the use of Ely's Cream
Balm, some five months ago 1t has done for me
Eofla At 10. dffna
The effect of the Balm seemed magical.-Carence
L. HUFF, Biddeford, Me.
little Minersyille tot was found by her papa at
the window, calling "Nieger, niggerr' to col
ored man on the street. The gentleman reproved
her. and said he would have 10 chastise her II she
repeated the offence. He then went into an adj
joining room, but pre.entls heard the little girl
saying "Nieger, niggerp' softly to herself.
sYou mustn't say that" said the nurse. 'Your
papa will whip you"
''Will he whip me real hard?
eyes, real hard"
The little tot then went TO the window again
and called out as loud as her little lungs would
permit, Niger, Niger" Then' turning TO the
Now cali papa in, and let's have this thing
over"
Everybody knows that the best remedy known
for coughs. colds, etc.. is DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup.
An invaluable remedy.--I have found Salvation
OH an invaluable remedy for chapped hands.
]. Z. ESTEP, (Pdinterl 81 Robert St., Balto.,
Md.
After his heroism in Italy the then General
Mel, while returning to France, was given bas-
ket of roses by peasant. In 1t was bud with
root attached 10 the stem. Mel kept the shoot
and gave it to noted horicuturist. who obtained
from il four of the loveest lemon tinted roses the
world had ever seen. Mel carried them TO the
EmnrqsS EuQenie. who remarked with VlYaclty:
II will christen this rose for you-the Marechal
Mel"
And from that day General Mel was marshal
of France.