The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1888-03-01
A FORTUNE IN FELINES.
IN ISLAND in West Virginia to be Stocked
with Cats Of all Breeds and Colors.
N'ey FORK Herald.

Chow to Make q Fortune Out of Cats"
is the title of new book which is to be
placed on the American markets in
short time. The author is an enterpris-
ing New Yorker, who has made and lost
several fortunes, and who has finally
come to the conclusion that the easiest
and safest way to amass filthy lucre is to
breed cats on a stupendous scale. Ex-
actly how be proposes to heap up for
himself treasures on earth was fully ex-
planned by him to q Herald reporter yes.
terday.
"Thcre is an island about thirty acres
in extent on the New River, in West
Virginia." he began. 'This island is
partly in timber and partly cleared and
can be purchased for 81 900. I propose
to form stock company for tie purpose
of buying this island and starting cat
farm on it.
off ycu will think moment you will
see that there are millions Of dollars in
cats. Say we start with 10000 cats, of
which $4,000 are to be black, 25,0OO
white, $4,000 Maltese and $4,000 of the
common domestic breed. In the course
of year the number of cats On the
island will be increased to 100000.
.'When the animals are q certain age
they will be killed and their skins will be
dried and sold in the market. at pres
ent a cats skin is worth ten cents. We
fully calculate on being able to kill l, 900
cats daily.
'The intestines will be sold to dealers
ir musical instrument strings, and the
carcases will be put into big vals, bciled
and given as food to the live cats. The
bones can, of course, be converted into
glue and alterward into bone fertilizers.
In one year we can kill 100000 cats,
whose skins will net US $4,000. Their
bones will be worth at least $50 ton,
and their intestines and carcases will also
be worth a good deal of money. Re.
member, too, that BY using the dead cats
as food for their live brethren we are
spared the expense of cat food.
Gust think, too, how beautiful a rug
or carpet of white catskin, with border
of maltese, would look, and how many
charming combinations could be made Of
the various colors! Why, ladies would
buy them by the thousand, and am pcs
tive that with an outlay of not more
than $4,000 at least $4,000 could be
made in afsingle year.
~ hope to perfect the cataphone at the
same time. The cataphone, may tell
you, is a musical instrument which is
fashioned by taking the tails of several
live cats (said cats being of different age,
sex and voices and putting them through
holes in plank SO that the tells are on
one side of the plank and the cats on the
other side. There is the instrument, and
the wsy to get exquisite music out Of it
is to hire big strong Irishman to walk
up and down the plank. AS each cat
possesses a different voice you can readily
see that the most difficult operatic piece
can be performed with consummate ease.
"Now l have spoken freely to you or
this subject, but may tell you frankly
that it is no use for you o. any one else
to try and get ahead of ME, as [ have
already cntered,into negotiations for the
purchase of the island in West Virginia
and have instructed my lawyers to secure
patent for the cataphons. When you
want nice calskin carpet or rug, how:
ever, send me word aud I'll not forget
you"
With these words the nineteenth CEN
tury Dick Whittiugton went his way. If
cats bring him as good luck as they
brought the original Dick he will have
good reason to bless the stars II must
be rem membered, however, that the origi.
nal Dick never INDUCED in Q wholesale
slaughter of grimalkins.
llr. Watson's Substantial Homemade
Coffin.
MowEAoUA, ILL, January 2S.-Near