The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1888-01-25
BNlC-A-BHAC

GIVE me q KISS, my uarllnSJ no, !
He ni,i, as he gazed in her eyes so blue.
81 won't" she said; "you lazy elf,
Screw up your lips aud help yourself"
"A letter hcad--The ~postagc.stamp.
No man should be Il judge in his own
cause.
There is not much color to gin, yet it can
scarcely be called II sober tint.
Strange as it may appear, IL is usually a
cold day for a man when he is fired.
"Woman feels where man thinks" says
q writer. Yes, that's why man is bald.
The Virginia Republicans have organized
a State League.
a year ofe time brings wisdom. The
trees are not SO green us they were last
summer.
If there S anything more contrary than
an obstinate woman ii is Il right-handcd
lock on n l~crt-hauded door.
Coal is so high in Chattanooga that the
coal dealer barely speaks TO AN ordinary
| editor or colonel.
Looking at it from a feminine point of
view, n bridegroom is always insignificant
until he becomes II widowcr.
Many q man 'mountS the rostrum' now
adays who hasn't real ability enough to
warrant his going on the stump"
1t is true that the busiest man is the hap
picst man, but he often doesn't have time
to realize it.
A cold is now defined rs a state Of ncr-
vous collapse, and a stimulating plan of
treatment is advised.
1t is not the clovcn foot but the cloycn
breath that gives u man away after he has
been out to see another man.
eyes," said the landlady, sadly, zap.
pcaranccs arc dcccitrul, but disappearance
are still more So
The days begin to ]lcnrtlicn, and so does
the face of the man who looks at his
cmptying coal.bin.
Economy is the road to wealth, bu! a
great many people keep wearing themselves
out upon tic road after they get there.
This is leap year, and the Gayoritc cXcla-
nation of the waiting maiden is: why
don't you speak for yourself, JohnE'
A mau cannot always remember n thing
by FASTING ii in lis hat. Some method
should be contlivcd to paste it in his head,
"What is more lovely than a peaceful
grandmother asks an exchange. Her
granddaughter. If this is not the right
answer, we give il up.
The woman who married her husband
for money never complains that he doesn't
kiss her as much rs he did before the wed.
ding took place
ITc-This mus, he the place. Shc-Stop;
don't ring; this doesn't look like a board.
~ing-housc. leo, yes it is. | smell the
onions.
For every ten hundred dollars expended
for flour in this country, it is said that
fifteen hundred dollars arc spent for TO.
bacCo.
Teachcr-Corrcct the sentence: "Thc
liquor which the man bought was drank. -
Smart Boy-Thc man which bought the
liquor was drunk.
The cold was so severe at Monterey,
McNiCn, a few days since, that n circus
proprietor had to build n fire around his
elephant TO keep him from freezing.
Il don't miucc matters. ] can tell YOU
observed Mrs. Brown mt dinner yesterday.
81 should say not, Judging from this mincc
pie" Grumblcd Brown.
Old Man calling down stairs to daughter
CLARA! Daughtcr-Ics papa2 Old Man
Ask that young man in the parlor which
he prefers for breakfast, milk rolls or
Vienna bread
A Florida paper complains that there are
in that State TOO many lawyers, doctors,
preachers, editors, and tramps, and not
enough men who earn their living by the
sweat OF their brow
Nervous lady passenger lin train, after
passing q temporary bridge Thank good
ness, we are now on terra iirma, FacctiOus
gcntlcman-Ic les ma'am; less terror and
more tirmcr.
Last year bread and butter cost less than
in the previous year, but cheese, pork and
canned goods were HIGHER. Coffee, which
advanced i, price, decreased largely in con
sumption; while tea, which declined in
price, increased ten per cent in use.
Mattcr-Of Fact Mother TO fashionable
daughter who is going ouO-Clara, ! think
your hustle is altogether too large to look
well. Fashionable Daughtcr-I know,
mama; but you have no idea how slippery
the sidewalks arc.
A Chicago woman, the wife of Il police.
man, rugged up in her husbands uniform,
and nobody detected the disguise until she
allowed herself TO be found when =. row
was going on. Then they knew she wasn't
one Of the force.