Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1888-10-19
MERRY THOUGHTS,

A"'Aer AeAped nm down the front
steps.-Merchnaat Traveller.
TRUE it is what ~the good men do is
OFT inferred with their bones" but it is
not frequently necessary to enlarge the
coffin for that purpose. Post
MAN Cooking for board)-You set a
good table, s'pose madam? Land
!ady-Yes, sir; only last week nv
fourth floor back died of gout.-Epoch.
W1FE-Dear me, John! What's the
baby doing with the paint box? Artist
husband (taking it from the baby.
just trying to mix the colors on his nal.
ate, my love.
why, Bridget! What will you do
with last years calendar?" Send it to
my folks. You know they are year
behind Paris, where 1 came FROM
La Caricat,1re.
WHERE did young Browne get his
money, papa" From his uncle, Sam
Brown. He inherited everything he
has in this world, except the final e. to
his name. LITE.
COMPASSIONATE WoMAx - 90 Won
were in the Union army, were you?
Well, always honor the brave. What
was your capacityes Tramp was q
prisoner, mum.-Ha,.pe,'s Bazaar.
Twas paired five times last session, :"
said the Senator. "Good gracious!"
exclaimed Miss Fairanthirty, "and I
haven't been paired once yet. What is
the fare t, Washington ?"-Betrdette.
"Sr1LL writing for the papers, Bingley?
"Yes." @What are you writing now?"
A fairy tale" "A fairy tale! What is
the title Of is?" "He Fell in Love with
His Mother-in-law. "-LincOln Journal.
The wearing of tights is said to be
Injurious to health, and still any one
who takes even casual look at the
@girls" in the spectacular show can see
that the practice doesn't shorten life
Someruille Journal.
The best position in which to sleep
having been discussed, it is now asked
what is the worst position in which to
sleep. We say, without hesitation, it is
the position of fagman on q railroad
San Francisco Alta.
Dion BoUcc1CAuLT says that men Of
to-day do not know how to walk. The
trouble with Boucicault is that, like
most actors, his observations of human
ity are taken too early in the morning.
Darlington Free Press.
"HusH!" he whispered, with warn
ing gesture. "Isn't that the night
,watchman's rattle?" "No, Mr.. Samp-
son" replied the girl, suppressing a
yawn, that is the cook grinding the
coffee for breakfast. Thine.
"WELL, see the Cain murder trial is
over at last" remarked the horse editor.
@Yes," replied the snake editor; sits
been so long since he killed Abel I
should have thought the witnesses were
all dead. boston TRANSCRIPT.
PA-What would you like to be when
you grow up, Johnny? JOHNNY
think I'll be soldier. "You might get
killed" @Who bye" "By the enemy,
of course" well, then, I guess had
better be the enemy. "-Teras Sittimgs.
By Express-Infatuated Youth (after
three hours visit)-Miss Maud, I
must go. infatuated Maiden-Well,
Charlie; but you will call again soon,
| I hope. infatuated Youth will be
back in fifteen minutes.-Dets'oit Free
Press.
D1NGuss-Shadbolt, can you spare
IS? Shadbolt - Certainly, Dinguss.
Here it is. Dinguss-Thanks. I'll just
give you my note for the amount.
Shadbolt (who knows him mo use
wasting paper, Dinguss. l told you ]
could spare the s5.-Chicago Tribune.
DUMLEY (who has sold watch)-You
told me, Robinson, that if [ would let
you have the watch you would pay me
in thirty days. It's good deal more
than thirty days now. Robinson-Not
by the watch; that watch loses twelve
hours out Of twenty-four.--Neec York
Sun.
|: CouNTRYMAN Ito jeweler)-I want te
get pair of earrings cheap, but purity
They're fur present. Jeweler-Yes
sir; you want something trife loud,
s'pose? Countryman-Well, I wuddent
mind if one on 'em was little loud,
mister; my girl is deaf in one ear.-Nee
York S,l1a.
ALGERNoN (waiting)-Aw, 1 say,
Bobby. what does you'ah sistah think
of me, anyway? Bobby-She says she
thinks you're j ust too nice to ive-and
- Algernon (highly elated)-Yaas
Bobby-An she can't see why the au.
thorities out of mercy don't have you
shot.-yaLdge.
SUBLIME JOKES.
Jokes of humorists all remind us