New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-12-29
THE TALK or THE DAY.

II Is hard for the clergy TO please everybody no"a
days Boston woman complains that her pastor
never looks at her when no breaches but deVoes ei
HE attention 10 the sinners on the other side OF the
church For this reason she says that his sermons 40
not have the moral effect her which they ought 10
have On tho other hand, Chicago woman recently
cornpa,ned that her pastor invariably looked at her
when he preaching, especially when ne denou'ccu
humbues and hypocrites, and she wanted to know II
Il wasn't an outrage treat respectable pew-hoders
I'm this way When tho clergyman finally heard OF her
grievance he laughngly explained that ne wasn't loo
ing at the woman at all when she thought he was Do
at certain pillar behind her. the sight OF which, LOT
some mysterious always seemed TO clarity his
thought.
The Presbyterian Hospital, admirable as It IS gives
in its annual reports statistics as to the religion Oh
the patients treated free otherwise. so as 10 I'M
press upon the public its nonsectarian character Ihe
does better than ths-lt proves It's liberal platform
by saying nothing whatever about Us patients re
lctons or forms Of religion It's statistics may refer to
the natonallties Of IT'S patients which is local mat
fer followed as a tradition but It is Systematically
silent as to rclgon.-(Jewsh Messenger
Miss Kate Field denies recent report that She has
been engaged by California wine-makers to act as
/" toutcro for their wines in the East
Parallel Casc.-Miss Dc spccs1No' # is not true
that Tennyson is a SpirituaIst; that Is mis'ake
but he seems to be very near one. He says he can
throw himself into trance by repeating his own
Miss De Beauiy-oh, that's nothing can throw
myself into condition OF perfect ecstasy by simply
repeating Arthur Stanley NlcefelloWs name 10 my
self philadelphia Record.
Several young ladies OF Mount Vernon, among them
a few Normal College graduates who have no taste
for school-teaching, recently concluded TO organize
a debating society for mental training as well as
winter-evening pastime, and appointed an evening
to debate the question: Is life worth living without
beaup Az mono of the " dear girls" could be per-
suaded to take the Affirmative tho debate deferred
and It was agreed TO extend the limit Of age OF I'M
married TO forty years. The question for
debate will DO taken up when few more members
arc added
The Wrong prep9sItiq99a" vel vel my boy he asked
Cholly had taken the important leap, how did things
go last EVENING" Did She smile on your proposall'
tat ro Sad SnO smiled a. Journal
cigarette smoker makes this suggestion to cigar
etc manufacturers: Among cigarette consumers the
chief trouble is keeping on hand a supply of matches
The manufacturer who incloses little box of wax
matches in each package Of cigarettes will catch the
trade In buildings where tho electric light is used
and matches scarce, the brand Will sell TO the
exclusion Of all others"
"You would be sorry TO lose your sister, wouldn't
you, Johnne' asked the visitor suggestivey 10 the
little boy who was entertaining him In the drawing
Nope" replied Johnnie. a guess could stand
It, Mr.. Hanknson. Nav says I've got TO wear short
No'es'
Tho City Of Mexico Is full OF ramps and tho anti
American papers satlrically refer TO them "prom
nent Americans visiting the Capital"
Barber Ito customer-Oil, sirl Customer emphati
cally)-No Barber-You arc right sir None Of our
eTst people are using oil on their hair n9%adays
guess So Proper o thrs s1 Oh Ssr Se
nowadays Chicago Tribune.
The cnterprlsing reporters of San Francisco have
drawn from Jane Hadlng the statement that she will
" break the face" of Coquein's valet some day
The Tiger Tamed.-Colonel Kaintuck-Yes, sab /;
blood, sab III kill him on sight
. Ph:ladelphian-hurder is punished by hanging In
-, IN glory in any death in such case sab.
But during the months of Imprisonment previous
to the hanging you will be allowed neither whiskey
:" mi IN go right around and APOLOGIZE -tPhila-
delphia Record.
Some ladies Of Paris have organized early ris-
ing association. II they would resolve themselves
into early going bed association. they would
tar tho object they have in view much more quickly.
Catering to Public Tase.-Great Publlsher-What
are these9
Tired Reader-One is the tTashiest sort OF love
story not worth looking at but the author IS willing
to let us have IT for nothing as It is his first work
drawn out. wearsome collection OF chestnuts about
science and religion no use 10 anybody; but that
We II accept both, and tell Mr. ScItber TO weave
'em into a divinity novel and put wOmans name 10
1t. The public must be kept amused" Philadelphia
Record.
Vermont thinks that It is entitled to praise for its
modesy, because, although it cast solid vote for
Harrison every ballot in the Chicago Convention
It is pressing favorte for Cabinet position.
The Last the Worst.-Dulard-so old man Richly is
dead at last
Brightly wonder no lived long. with all the
doctors Why, Dr. scalpel had a hack at him, Dr.
PiLcr had hack at him, and dozen others.
Duari-And now the undertaken has him.
Brightly-Yes by gum and he's the worst. He
got hacks and hearse at hm.-Qoweu Citizen |
In the summer the ponds Of New-Jersey are
frequented by skeetors" and in winter by skaters
A Chicago literary weekly called America offers |
reward Of 900 10 the person who shall conde |
to It a recipe for making novel Of any school popu
lar. Hero IS the desired recipe: Get the clergy 10
discuss and denounce the novel from the pulpit |
please send draft for the 500. OOO-not necessarily
for publication, but a good faith. -
lNorristown Herald.