Waterbury evening Democrat., 1888-05-30
HORRORS OF HASHISH.
\ REPORTER EXPERIMENTS ON HIM
 SELF WITH THE DRUG.

SELF WITH THE DhUG.
 Chapters from the Dreamer's Narrative.
 Strange Condition Into Which the Drug
 Throws Its victim-Awkward Feeling
 of Duality-The Waking.
 there shot through every pulse thrill un- speakable, choking like that of first love. lnew at last the wizards wonder working hand was upon me Every nerve was a jingle, and the only relief was to tighten every muscle and sinew to tension that seemed like to wreck me. The blood rushed in vast and ever growing volume to my brain and the room was whirling like fiywheel. At my throat and heart was that strangiing clutch. There was taste on my tongue as if had drank from Leyden jar, and 8 con- stunning thirst was upon me. l wondered what penalty must be paid for thus trying to steal over the back fence into paradise. The dear, bread and butter commonplace seemed the one thing admirable. Fear grew with the minutes. The sense of isolation was awful No one was in the same world with ma must enter upon the abyss alone.
 A friend came in at the door and could have screamed for joy. wanted to fall upon S0AN> SAAAAt N~$AAAS SNAO knowledge he can do nothing. In voice which sounded strange and louder than com mon gave him greeting, then fell back into the chair and went on, holding the book be- fore me. It seemed as though should fly in atoms, yet, with mighty effort, l made a pretense of talking to him about the weather. Feet and hands were growing numb. The first sensation of heat had departed Now the marrow was all gone from my bones, and through the osseous chambers a cold wind crept. The clutching at my heart was as hideous as death. I felt the center of life within me freezing up. A great weight held me- To speak was to utter few ponderous and Arctic syllables, and the st. lips took an age to form them. The movem.mt of an arm was like the motion of vast machine. I was freezing Yet all the time, with mighty rhythm, the blood kept beating to my brain. Drowsiness came on, and yet closed eyes would bring no sign of sleep.
 VISIONS OF ANOTHER SELF.
 Here, with the fading eye of reason, could trace the first sense of that duality which hashish gives. The self material and the self spiritual seemed sundered and mov- ing in different worlds. The more violent the dose the more completely is the outer nature subdued, until familiar surroundings are swallowed in the vision. It is an incred- ible characteristic of hashish intoxication or delirium that whatever visions you see you never seem to see them, but, as it were, to see yourself seeing them. In all your wander ings you cannot be alone. There is a sense of companionship-of an attendant, familiar, yet strange. In an instant there is flashed upon you the knowledge of that duality; that companion is your other self.
 The sense of duality is doubly apparent in the talk and action of one under the spell of hashish. His ordinary consciousness of per- sons and things about him is little impaired Though he lies as in a stupor, and exclaims drowsily at the visions before him, the slightest question will receive ready an- swer, but in a vexed tone, as to say: sGo away and let me alone" The hearing is marvelously fine. It seems as if all the out ward senses were alert and even had ra- tionality working behind them, while from the disjected utterances of the sleeper you may know that behind closed lids he moves in land of wonders manifold.
 When trying to talk sense, he knows his speeches are broken and wandering. It is a common expression of the hashish eater, waking or sleeping: ''I know am making a fool of myself, but can't help it." The thought is for an instant clear and acute upon any subject suggested, but then the ideas flee from utterance and in their pur- suit the victim gets tired and tangled, and in moment cannot tell what the subject was.
 Out at the far confines of space there was great flaming sickle of gold and of infinite circumference. It grew smaller and smaller. Its point curled ever inward. The glitter ing, wavy edge seemed to smile, while to slow music it girt me closer and painlessly, softly as though were of air. Ife.t myself bisected at the equator. The two whirling hemispheres passed away in opposite direc- tions into space. Looking back upon this and other things I marvel how they could have been so real. To sense it seems absurd. Yet the further pass from that strange ex- perience the more distinct, more vivid, more glorious grows it's memory; the more its in- cipient horrors grow small in estimate and are crowded out of remembrance.
 THE SCENE GROWS soMBER.
 was drifting downward, heavy with the mist that came from the echoing caverns be- heath, and tho blue shadow of the calling spirit seemed ever to be denser, ever to clasp me closer to it. The darkness had it's genii, damp and slumbe1ous creatures, looking from eyes heavy with lelhargy. Here and there a diamond, huge as the moon, gleamed with malignant light from its black, dripping set ting in the hideous and world ribbing rocks Through the blackness of that place sank t1u was or a WelgnG With the mountains and seemed part of them. The blue water sprite had gone in pursuit of was not with me, and looking upward I saw her, smiling down, her sad, cold face only shadow be- tween me and the far glistening day. Turn ing my eyes, pressed into the darkness and shrank from all about me. The denizens of the place made no sound, but black spittle oozed over black teeth and dripped from their ringy lips.
 Again the scene changed. The clear, blue sky of night was all about me. Slumbering cities were mere specks beneath us. From infnity hand of light was thrust, at my very side, and hurled into the heavens 2 handful of shining stars. It was as when a sower casts seed. They leaped away broad cast, left lines of trailing brightness across the vault in their wake, and took up their stations, like sentinels of the night, about the blue serene. What glories passed, what raptures drank, among what strange people did novel could hear their cries, yet all l attuned to softest harmony. All was radi. l ance There was no human sorrow, no earthly suffering.
 lay entranced for hours I remember looking down from the gallery of church and seeing myself neatly laid out in a coffir at the altar. The mourners passed around | and peered into the face, on which strong 1..J,4 f,lI 4 Al. .I