The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-07-20
BRIGHT BITS.

man named Hand She thought she would
rather be right Hand than a left Leg.
AN ONION weighing seventeen pounds has just
been raised in Phoenix, Arr. When the rival
towns think of it they feel like shedding tears.
PAPA-Now run away, Bobby. Papa's busy.
Bobby holding up his Joined hands cupwise)
Drop nickel In the hole, papa, and you'll see
me go.-JlIdge
HOLToN-I had a strange dream Of you. |
dreamt went to heaven and saw you there.
BicKerstaff Well?
HoltOn-Well that's the stra nge part of it
Times.
held this morning?
Second lawyer CruefuIly)-No; but last night
(by the way can you lend me s. p it held four
aceS.-1he Idea.
AT THE SEAsGDE-S She bathing for the first
time in her new suit Why Charles how
strange! Itfeels just as though had nay shoes
Charles Hold up your foot, and let's see
She (screamng)-Why, it's crab!-Burling-
ton Free Press.
LITERAL.-Mary- telegram. ma'am.
Mrs. Languish-You may open it, Mary.
What does 1t say
Mary-Mr Langush will be back at 10 o'clock,
ma am.
Mrs Languish-A NJ or ?. NJ, Mary?
Mary-D. v, ma am, HGrper's BdzGr
THE RETURN OF THE PRoDrGAL- Eastern Capt
talist-My son, didn't | give you $4,000 two
months ago to go out to Ohio and start demo
cratic campaign paper
Son (meekly)-You did sir
Eastern Capltalst-Did you start it?
Son more meekly)-NO, sir. 1t started me
to the eastward.-IiBte
MABEI--No, Mr.. Kidder; can never be yours.
Kidder-And is 1t thus you treat me after
leading me on TO hope for your handy But you
you need not think to escape without explain
ing the reason for refusing my love. Why will
you not be miner
Mabel Because cannot write a capital X to
save my life.-Erchd1,ge.
Now, Henry, if you don't let go of me I'll
scream. I'm going in the house. You have no
business putting your arm around my waist"
what will you scream"
III scream unhanl me. villain"
mo, you don't want to do anything like that
1t wouldn't be proper
II think 1t would be emnently proper"
mo, you should scream dIs-arm me, villain ~
Merchant Traveller.
YOUNG MAN of Jackson, Mich, called upon
his lady love and she met him at the door By
some means not explained, while in the hallway
she found that his breath smelled strongly Of
whisky. She led him to the door, and with more
of sorrow than of anger in her voice she said:
Joe this county has voted on the prohibition
| question, and new am going to vote | vote
! no! Now MT come back until you have got
around on the side of the majority. ~ Woman S
| Journal.
''YOU might as well have treated that woman
| civilly, Jodkins. You can't suppress a book
| agent, and there's use trying"
Il did suppress book agent, Billus when |
| was young man"
"How?"
81 married her"
And that suppressed her?'
"As book agent. Bilus-as a book agent
| Otherwise, Billus'-and Mr.. Jodkns meekly
| shook his bald head, sighed deeply and was
| sient.-ChicGgO Tribune.
| To THE American SHEEP
Mary had little lamb,
It's age it was five-score;
But stil it always was lamb,
And IL was nothing more.
Another lamb came prowling round,
stranger in that section;
So sixty millions mounted guard
For Mary lamb protection
"But why don't Mary rs lamb grow up?"
The little children cry.
you blarsted fools, it amt that kind"
The teacher did reply
+. c. E., an Phtlddelphid Times.