The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-02
BRIGHT Bits.

IF young man feels that his life is a blank,
he should try to fill it out and have it sworn to.
-Neao Orleans Picdyune.
You see a good deal of advice in the papers
now about raising small fruit, but none about
raising small potatoes -Ptttsburg Chronicle
IT IS RUmoRED that when NJ. de Lssseps
finishes the Panama canal, the first vessel to
cross the Isthmus will be propelled by the Keely
motor.-Lffe.
Mrs. NUwED reproachfullyt-Surely, you are
not going out again tonight, Henry?
MIR. Nuwed-O, no. not again; this trip will
keep me until midnght.-Puck.
"ANR are you really SO badly, broke, my
friend?" he said, he rendered the tramp
penny. "Broke?' was the bitter response.
I'm as badly broke as the ten commandments"
Life.
JONES is becoming philosophical.
What splen lid dispensation of Providence
that we don't know when are to die! Why,
| if knew that had only a week to live should
| be dead man in twenty four hours. Puck,
EVERY member of Congress is ready to make
| a speech on the tariff question. 1t is a subject
that statesman can talk on for a long time
without saying anything to commit his intelli-
gence or political standing-NeU Ortea@S Pea
yttIte.
IF it wasn't for one thing John, said she, as
they sat down to their frugal dinner, 81 could
have made some nice oyster soup"
Indeed! What was that?"
II didn't have anything toward it but the
| salt. Judge.
HE--I see that old Mr. Bently was buried yes
terday.
Wife (shockedl-why, is old Mr. Bently dead
He (Who has just been sat upon0)-The
| paper doesn't say whether he is dead not;
simply that he was buried yesterday.-LJe.
STRIKER Ito wife)-Well, what successP
| Wife-GoOd, John. Mrs. Smith will give me
a weeks wash tomorrow, and she thinks she
can find some plain sewing for me to do
Sfriya liant b11ein fi,sal iKyl uTasIf
make the company get down on its knees yeti
Life.
| ETHEL-Did you go to Italy?
Harret-O, my, yes We staid there two
EtheI-what do you think of the lazzaroniY
| Harret-Oh, it's awful. tried some the first
night was there but it doesn't suit my taste at
aR.-LUe.
REPoRTER-Mr. Sullivan, did anything of mo-
| ment happen on your trip from Liverpool?
Mr.. John L. Salivan-Yes, my right arm gave
| out again
| Reporter-What were you doing at the time?
| Mr.. John L. misunderstanding my fight
with Mitchen.-JtdQe
PARIsIAN DAME-Are you all ready for Sunday
school!
| Partisan child-Yes, mamma
| well, now, be careful not to make any mis-
takes. II you are asked who created the earth,
| and made the sun, moon and stars, don't say
| Boulanger. '-Omdhn World.
BoBLEY-C onfound the luck Here l have a
| summons to serve on jury.
Virgins Well, don't be worried, old man
| The lawyers will never accept you.
| BObley-Why?
| Virgins two minutes talk will
| show EN- you're no fool.-Judge.
| FIRST TRAMP-If l had my way I'd have 1855
| national holidays in this year.
| Second tramp-You would, eh? And then
there would be one working day in every four
years o, you are a nice one, you are! You
| would make galley slave of the poor laboring
man, wouldn't yeu?-Terds Sifttngs.
| "YoU believe in home rule, don't your" said
| the enthusiastic Irish patriot.
| "Of course. have always BEEN in theory a
Home Ruler, was the reply of the timid-look
| ing man; but it has always seemed to me there
are many difficulties in the way of the practical
fully rubbed a large bald spot north, northeast
of his left ear. "--Chicdgo Tribune.