davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
She Took IT All In.
L AIL...,at In1r..at,I 1

BY one Of those unexpected turns of fortune
which occur in Albany as often as anywhere,
man who but half dozen years ago was a hod-
carrier, has become comparatively wealthy.
This change of financial circumstances has had
the usual effect upon the ex-hod-carrier's wife,
who enjoys decorating her adpose form with
what she suppOses TO be the latest styles. She
has, also, notwithstanding an utter disability
to read, affected fine literary taste which she
ostentatiously announces whenever possible
Calling upon lady whom she has been trying
to make herself acquainted with, she picked up
a book from the table, and innocent of any
knowledge that it was copy of the Bible,
asked the loan of it for little time, as she
had not the book in her library" The lady
readily consented. After keeping it about a
fortnight, her visitor returned the volume with
profuse thanks. How did you like it?" was
asked. Every well, indeed but knew how
it would turn out before ! was half through.
They got married after all"
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
A Short Marriage service.
frhfcnno Mill


One of the quickest marriages I have ever
heard of" said a talkstive man, was performed
by the Rev. Dr. Aaron Turner, now in the Min
nesota Conference" Then the talkatiye fellow
talked on in this lively strain:
"Dr. Turner was in charge Of the Yineennes
circuit at the time. One evening he was hur-
rying his toilet in preparation for a marriage
that he was to perform at o'clock at the home
of one of his flock. He was late and very much
afraid that he couldn't reach the place of ap-
pointment in time. Just he got his white
tie adjusted, and was getting himself into
his coat, knock was heard on the parsonage
door. DIR. Turner took up his hat, stepped to
the door and opened IT, A young man stood
outside. DR.. Turner asked MS business. The
young man was 1urried but he managed 10
say ne wanted to get married, and handed the
parson a marriage license.
Well" said DR.. Turner, " / can't do it to
night. / am hurrying now to perform another
ceremony. I'm already late"
But, pleaded the young man, it won't take
long"
Il know, but can't wait" And the preacher
came out and closed the door, walking rapidly
away.
But, Mr.. Turner" said the young man des-
perately, and he ran after the minister, you
surely can marry US. 1t Won't take you but a
minute"
Where's the lady2"
Right back here and the young man
pointed to a figure standing in the shadow of a
tree.
"Well, come on" DR.. Turner said, and the
two went back to where the girl stood.
" Is this the woman you want to marTy2"
"Yes" said the young man.
"Then you are man and wife. Goodnight
And away he went, leaving the pair speech
less. 1t was a minute before the newly-madC
husband recovered enough to run after the
preacher, who was rapidly disappearing in the
dark.
"Mr. Turner! Mr.. Turner!" he cried.
Well, what is it?" said the preacher, psus
ing.
why, was that all? VIII that do?"
Yes, yes. that will do. You are just as muci
married as if I'd gone through yard of cere
mony. Good night" And again he hurried
away, reaching his appointment just in tht
nick of time.
The young man went slowly back to his bride
| and spent the next hour or two in satisfying
| her that she was really married.
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
Sc CouIdn,t Unierstnnd u.

What IN the world has happened to you
since the last time / saw your" asked enc lady
OF another when they met on the street the
other day; - can't understand it. Then you
were pale, haggard and low-sprited, aud i re-
member you said that you hardly cared whether
you lived or died. To-day you look ever so
much younger aud il is very evident from
your beaming face that your low spirits have
taken flight Yes. indeed . was the repiv /:
and shall ! tell you what drove them away +?
II was DIR. Pierce's Favorite Prescription.
was martyr 70 functional deraneement until
began taking the Prescription Now ] am
as well SIS / ever was in my lfe No woman
who suffers as l did ought to let an hour pass
before procuring this wonderful remedy"
The National tribune., 1888-07-05

The Gorgeous Costumes Worn by Dudlgh Onieers
iH the 6ernan Army.
fAe1E Fofk StH1

1Ne H0EatDNs costumes worn UY UndiEl gflfprg
iu the 6erInan Army.
[Ke15 York sta.l
] an writing now Ia the smoking-room Of
one OF the three OF four big hotels of Berlin.
Obscgriag ray light as be stands idly smok-
ing near the window is one Of dozen or more
of tie officers who are louneing about the
room. lie is q Lieutenant in the army and
receives less than $50 year. In his ward
robe he has l4 coa1s-we have Just been talking
about new Tegulations-aHd they cost consider
ably more than a Thousand dollars.
his hair is parted with mathematical nicetv
on top and behind, and brushes forward over
the ears. The mustache Dc Waxed upward aud
single glass is held il the left eye. The col
lar Of bis jacket is 50 high that his face sants
backward. around the collar is silver en-
br0lderE, which aeseends on the shoulders.
Ihe coat Or Jacket is o. huZzar pattern, with a
brilliant lac.Bg Of silver bars across the front.
The vertical seams Of the Jacket are also traced
wfth silver IL clings with the snugness Of a
glove over pair Of pericctiy-htting corsets.
The waist IS as round and symmetrical as that
Of any gir in New YORK and there Is not a
tailor made gown on Fifth avenue that is as
free from wrinkles as this modern warrior s
jacket
The silver embroidery on the back Of the
jacket is scarcely less elaborate than that on
the front. IL would be impossible 10 wear
such pr0fuseiy y-decorated garment without
corsets. The breeches lock like tights They
1T as suugly as a stOckinet bathing suit after Z
plunge, and their material is white corduroy
sharp contrast to the brilliant sky-blue OF tho
jacket, relieved At the wrists and collar by the
brightest scarlet. Pateut-Icather boots, with
high heels and silver spurs, come far above the
knees, and white kid gloves cover the hands
The whole outfit shows the most lavish eX
penditure, and he is far more gorgeous dgur,
than We ever see on the stage, even IN bur
lesgue at home.
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
One Advantage OF Being Edicated."
IHnrpey's B11ngine.1

Freedwoman Lizzie, good servant, was
married TO an unworthy husband, and made
complaint of his unkindness. One ofthe young
ladies of the family in which she served, de-
sirous of knowing how she happened to be so
married asked her about their loye-making
and courtship.
Lizzie, what on earth did Watt say to you
to make you marry him?"
Law Miss Sallie," answered Lizzie, "yoU
know couldn't make no answer to Watt when
he come co'tin of me, cause Watts edicGted"
with guileful wisdom OF words he "come co.
tin of her.") "And," she continued, " he got
some of his words out de jOgaty and some out de
djcskunary. And co'se, yog know, Miss Sailie, 1
couldn't make no sistance TO Watt"
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
A Woman's Way.

4 Belfast woman has found way to dispose
of money with holes punched in it. She re-
Gently offered such coin to a merchant there
not with the shame-faced or hurried manner in
which mutilated coins are often offered, but
reluctantly, asserting that it was keepsake
and she would not part with it for any money,
but would leave it provided the merchant
would promise to keep it until she should call
for it, which she promised to do within week.
The merchant took the keepsake, delivered her
goods and gave back the necessary change.
The customer departed and has not been seen
since.
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
JAPANESE HORSE WOMEN.
An Interesting Feature of the Spring Races in
Toxic.
Isl. Louis Globe Democrat ]

80 AN'~- NN'i''S
Toxic.
ISL Louis Globe Democrat
The Spring races have occupied the attention
of the capitals upper and lower circles for the
past three days, and the sports and fashion
models have paraded the lawn before the grand
stand as they might at any race course in West
ern countries. Pool tickets made and lost tdollars
for the investors, and jockeys were accused OF
al the tricks they can ever play. Horseracing
was favorite sport of the daimois in ancient
days, and the modern japanese takes most
readily to the foreign methods o. starting,
timing, handicaPping and pool selling. The
Uyeno race-COurse Is one OF the GIosb beautiful
tracks in the way of its landscape setting, the
course describing great oval in a holiow be-
tween two hiily ridges, and the middle space
being occupied by q lotus pond. The yoHng
leaves are thrlsting Up their first shallow Dine-
green saucers but in August the pond shows
acres and acres of enormous leaves, starred with
pink or white blossoms. A few weeks ago the
cherry trees lining the track We're masses of
pink bloom, and if the races could have
been held then it would have been most
aesthetic festival.
By the enthusiasm manifested by some of the
ticket holders, it is possible that neither stately
lotus nor the farly-like cherry blossoms could
draw much attention while the scrubby little
China and Hokkaido ponies were flying around
the course with diminutive japanese jockeys
clinging to their backs
A feature Of one days entertainment was the
riding of six Japanese ladies, and natives and
foreigners were equally interested in the spec
tacle. Toxic is not behind other modern cities
in a rage for riding-schools, and in addition to
the number of army officers and men who
learned the foreign style abroad, every official
or wel-tO-dO citizen now asplres to lessons IN
equestriansm. There is a hourshing riding
school near Shiba Park, and number of Jap
anese ladies belong to the classes. They wear
the foreign riding dress, and look we'll in the
Amazonian habit although a French tailor
would groan at the outlines of their figures,
that are largest at the waist, have no hips and
the most sloping shoulders The six Amazons
who bounced in the saddle around the Uyeno
race-course the other afternoon mounted in the
paddock, and the mounting was unique The
bettos, or grooms, clasped their hands togtheI
! like cradle, the Amazons stepped on with both
| feet, and the betto slowly raised them straight
up in the air until they reached the level Of the
saddle. The feat was entirely the bettO's, and
| the man who holds the 100-pound dumbbeLl ol
plays with cannon-bals hardly equals'them.
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
Co. E. Isl Tenn.


Capt. J. Aytes has just received a roster of
Co Z, 1st Tenn. (FedeFaD showing the re-
markable fact that so Of these old veterans are
still alive. This regiment was recruited in
East Tennessee, and Co. j., was made up mainly
from Cumberland and Roane Counties. The
first Captain was John Ellis, of Roane County,
who was promoted to Major Of the regiment
and from that to Lieutenant Colonel. and mus
tered out with the regiment Sept II, 1864, at
Nashville, and is still living in Roane. Ellis
was succeeded by S. j. Tedder, Of Cumberland
County, who resigned and is also living in
Roane County. Capt. j. Aytes succeeded Ted
der, rising from Second Lieutenant to First
Lieutenant, and then Captain, which position
he held until after the regiment was mus
tered ont. Capt. Aytes is now an honored
citizen of this County, and one of the
active members of Garfield Post. Company r
had a Reunion at lockwood few weeks since
and viii meet again tine first Wednesday in
October at lockwood, to effect a permanent or
ganizatiOn. This company was one of the
strongest in the command, and was recruited
from time TO time, but that it can still muster
50 is a remarkable fact, considering the
defamation which time is making in the ranks
of the heroes of the war. One man, William
II. Morgan, of Roane County, enlisted in Co.
T. taking with him four sons, all of whom
went through the war, coming out unscathed,
and 50 far as known are yet living.
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
The Force Of Habit Illustrated.
Minneapolis TriJ,tpe.

"Do you see those two soldiers coming up the
street," asked military man. of Tribune re-
porter yesterday.
Yes"
"Those fellows belong to the Regular Army
and if you will observe me closely I'll give you
good illustration of the force of habit and re-
suits of strict discipline, You notice that they
keep perfect step and walk erect, as though in
the ranks Now watch them"
When the two soldiers arrived opposite the
speaker, he suddenly said in brisk, sharp
tone:
"By the left flank march,! !"
In an instant the two men turned to the left
and had taken several steps toward the gutter
before they were aware of it. loud laugh
resulted, and the two confused looking defend
ers of the Nation increased their pace without
looking back
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
Mistaken in the Battery.
IBoSton Transcript ]

"And so you arc one Of the brave boys IN blue
that rescued the country from destruction Ia
her hOuT OF dangerg3
. Yes, / suppose 50; though ] don't think 1
follow yOu exactly"
An you have the mo5esty which marks q
brave man i mean that you were a soldier In
the army Of the Union"
Was II That's news to me"
Why, didn't hear you telling Of the bat
terry you belonged tor"
:" On, yes. Now I understand But that
was the battery Of the MuGers Baseball Nine .
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
The Insnrmcuntnhle Obstacle.
tChicago Tribune.

lNfttt'fEV - toN'tcsl
''I fear it can never be, George" said the
maiden, sadly "There is an insurmouutable
obstacle in the way
Il am sure / can remove it, Laura" said
George, eagerly, if you will only let me try"
Laura pointed silently to a portrait of her
father-a large cross-eyed man, with red hair,
a square jaw and foot like anvas-Covered
ham; and George took his hat and groped his
way out through the hall toward the front door.
He wasn't large enough to remove such an OBJ
stacle, and he knew it.
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
Filled with Woe.

Mistress-WeIl, Bridget did you see the
dentist2
Biddy OGalway-Yis, ma'am.
Mistress-Did he pull your tooth?
Biddy O'Galway-Sure, ma'am, he didn't lay
a han to it to pull at ALL He scooped it out
wild wee hoe, an thin he druv it in to stay
feriver-wid a plug on the top o it to kape it
tight I'll niyer be caught doin' the likes
ag'in, maam What wild him upsettin' the safe
he put me in, an tyin' dirty bit av an old
gum shoe in me mouth fer bib, an maxim a
noise the size o a coffee-mill in my head I'd
laver walk the flure an scrame.
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
Something Wanting.
lEpoch.l

"Young man." he said, solemnIy, Gin the
silent watches of the night, when you are
wakeful and restless, do you not often feel in
the very depth of your being that there is
something Notwithstanding lackng?"
Not in the night, sir" replied the young
man; Pm heavy sleeper, mysef but do in
l get a cocktail"
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
Eighteen Chicks Fetch s4a5.

Mr. Cawston, of the Norwalk Ostrich Farm.
sold yesterday IS ostrich chicks, hatched from
one trio of BIRDS for $435. This sale gives Mr.
Cawston a return Of over 81 900 from this trio
of birds inside of year. The breeders were
imported only l8 months ago The cost of the
birds is nominal, as the birds Craze over three
acres of alfalfa.
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
The RulIng Passion Sfrong in Death.
( Y,,YS,o

Edith-Yes, Uncle George has gone. For a
whole week he was unconscious and never
opened his lips. But just before he died he
seemed to rouse himself by desperate effort,
and he succeeded in saying just three werds.
Then he dropped back dead
Jane-How very sad But what did he say ?
Edith" What's the score only that and
nothing more.
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
Her Tronbels

The Rev. Whangdoodle Baxter (endeavoring
to comfort the sick woman)-Hab patience,
Aunt Sukey, and eberything viii jess come
GROUND all right.
Aunt Sukey-You has easy talkin' What
wants to know is, what | has done to hab all dis
sufferin put on me. Some OBJ de meanest folks
dies as easy as a chile but it mos kills me ter
die
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
In Hard Lines.
m

"This is a tough, tough world, Charley"
he sighed, as he gazed in dismay at an open
letter in his hand
Whats the trouble now?" asked Charley.
You know that pretty little thing in pink
Pve spent so much time and money on2"
Eyes"
"She refused me point blank last night, and
now the old man sends me bill Of three dollars
for a broken gate"
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
A Willing Servant.
TNo,p VoyE C,,,, !

Mistress Ito cook k)-Your name Mary, and
my daughters being the same makes matters
somewhat confusing. Now how do you like,
say, the name of Bridget?
Cook-Shure, mum, an it's not mesilf that's
particular. Dim willun to call the young Teddy
ony thin yez Ioike.
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
The Doctors Verdict.

Ethel Ito the family physician Why doc
tor! you really don't say that powder hurts the
complexion?
Dr. Gruff-Well no. some kinds don't"
Ethel-Oh, please tell me which is the best,
and | promise [ will use no other
Dr. Gruf-Baking powder-take internally
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
Scientific.
fJmdgc

He 10 p. m. and the lamp turned low-hu-
morousiyt-lt isn't at all queer, is it, Edith.
that one should find electric kisses when he
goes Sparkling ~
she-Nes, very queer. indeed, Mr. StandoF.
when the iadys negative is positive.
The National tribune., 1888-07-05

visitor suppose you attended Sunday
school to-day, Bertie.
Bertie-Yep.
Visitor-M hat was the lesson about?
Bertie-Oh, bout fellow named Jonah who
swallowed a whale.
Eistor-When ] went to Sunday school it
was the whale that swallowed Jonah
BeTtie-Well 'taiu't that way now. We've
got the revised edition.
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
simonides Eventually Equal to the Occasion.

"Simondes, you are a sneak !"
1t was the young mans father who spoke.
When 1 was of your age Simonides," he
continued had too good sense and too much
spunk to dance attendance on a young woman
for three or four years without coming to the
point and saying what / meant by my atten-
tions. If / had not, Smonides, you would still
have been in the future tense, as it were, sir"
The youth covered under the searching gaze
of his father. The Tebuke was deserved. ST.
monides Whacker could not deny IT, He spoke
submissively:
What would you have me do, sir?"
Act like man. Go straight to the girl and
tell her you want her. Don't beat about the
bush any longer. If she accepts you, I'll set
you up in business. If she does not, you will
be free to seek some one else"
"Aliantha" began the young man. somewhat
huskily are the folks all Well?"
"Quite we'll, Mr.. Whacker, thank you"
81 have come this evening, Aliautha," he
resumed, heroically, "to-to-tO bring back
this volume of Dante / got of you last even
ing"
Why, you haven't finished it already. Mr..
Whaeker?"
And to say that THAT like-that L like
Dante irst-rate"
Dante is so soulful" said Aliantha softly.
Hes immense" assented Simonides, heart
ily' aY.s@ sad speaking Of Dante l-or-"
"There isn't poet of modern times, in my
opinion, that is knee-high to Dante"
Except Tennyson," murmured the beauti-
full girl.
"Of course, except Tennyson. And speak
ing of Tennyson, Aliantha, I-er-"
"Yes?"
'Will you let me make you present of a
volume some time, with the inscription on the
| hy-leaf, TO my"
Well?"
GTo nv wife A1iantha91
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
Strong Enough to Hold Two.

Young Lady TO dealer)-I want to look at
hammocks.
DeaIer-Yes, miss You want one for your
own use?
Young Lady-Ye-es, partly; but it must be
very strong.
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
A Bad Error.
Harvard Lompoon.I

HdrUnrd Lo7lpOof
Captain-What made you drop that pop fyP
II was an awful error.
stoughton. '91-Captain, I got SO ratified that
I saw six balls.
Captain (crossly)-I should think you might
have caught one of them at sesst.
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
jumped at a Conclusion.

Corporation Examiner (musingly)-Heres
company organized for the manufacture of Ia
dies neckwear and kindred articles wonder
what the kindred articles are?
Typewriter operator-Hm probably gen.
tlemen's Coatsleeves
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
COnsiderate.
IhtHnc I

Brown caught his servant one day in his
bedroom making his toilet.
"You don't mean to say, James, that you are
in the habit of doing this? Why, you are act
ualIy using my tooth brush"
Yes, sir; but, please, sir, was careful to
wash it first"
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
Something Handsome.
[ Nel0 YorIs Slttl. ]

Lady (to floor walker)-I want to look at
something very handsome in the way of striped
silk stockings
Floor Walker-Yes, madam (To sales
woman Miss Parker, will you show this lady
that new line of windy weather goods.
The National tribune., 1888-07-05

New Jersey School Commissioner Ito appli-
cant)-Air ye purity well up in grammar?
Applicant-Oh, yes, sir.
Commissioner-Let me hear ye spell phthisic.
Applicant-P- -h-t-h-i-s-i-c.
Commissioner-Gosh,I guess I'll vote for ye.
That's hard way to spell grammatical.
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
A Just Sentence.

Old Mr.. Bently (readng the paper]-I see a
man has been sent to State Prison fer 10 year
fer rObbin' crib
Old Mrs Bently-He deserves ev'ry year on
it. The idee of stealth an inherent little baby.
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
Edison's Latest.

Mr. Edison, the famous inventor, is said to
be immensely pleased with his new baby.
He is now at work on an ingenious electric ap.
paratus which will carry baby's squall noise
lessly off and drop it mile or two from the
house.
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
Cali Him Anything but Early.

" ttSfttftytOtt u tS|--I
Wife (before breakfast)-This is the sixth
time I've called you, Joseph, and 1 don't want
to do it again.
Husband-All right, wifey mine. Change it
to joe and 90 ahead. I'm not so dignifed as
to be disagreeable.
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
As Costlr as she Cnn Comnass.

L0lreI t3t3zenI
About this time the sweet girl graduate, af-
Ter months of debating whether or no she shall
wear white gown at the commencement ex-
ercises finally decides that she will.
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
II Mover Fails.

Allie-What makes you so pale and hoarse,
Mr. Smith?
SMITH don't know; probably because
you've got red hair.
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
4 Lucid Exclamation.

Teacher Ito class)-In this stanza what is
meant by the line: "The shades of night were
falling fast"P
Bright Scholar-The people were pulling
down the blinds
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
Mixed lin.

Washington Guide Ito visitor)-That gentle
man is Mr. Lamont. He is one of the lions,
you know.
Vistor-Is he? s'posed he was the Daniel.
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
The Liver
Hoods SarsapariIIa
IOO Doses one Dollar

Sold by an druggists 81 SIX for s. Prepared only by
c, l. HOOD & CO. Apothecaries Lowell Mass
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
He Thought IT was ghorfcake.

Boarder-Strawberry shortcake, Mrs. stew2
Mrs. Stew-No, Mr.. Tickle; it is plain straw
berry cake.
Boarder-Oh! I thought it was strawberry
shortcake, as I find my piece rather short of
hprricS
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
TO my wife Aliantha2

Father" exclaimed Simonides, with the
feverishy commercial eagerness of young
man who feels that he has lost about three good
years, shall be ready to go into business
week after next"
The National tribune., 1888-07-05

nut THIS sH sH$ Ta Tet4E9 @ T. m ne With lq st ,ss
Of goods that win bring yog in more money IN ons
- month than anything else On America Absolute cer-
tainty. Needs no capital. G.. NJ HANSON Chfcso IL
Mention The National Tribune.
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
HUM.IoR.
Keep OF the Trail.

A woman may not object to a mans follow
ing her, but she dislikes to have him get on
her trail.
The National tribune., 1888-07-05

A GEN IS WANTED-To sell the fastest -seIfag artl-
Z cie m the marsez- THoMAS'5 PIE TURN Frs q
I2l ili.lnS ne pie or plate. turning hair around
g. sisl i1r it is tae best tliHEout Price rdozsnf
per ~ s ret1iiS for 3 cents Send Circuars a
J. = COBJRN, General Agent. BrattIeboro, VI
Mention The National Tribune.
The National tribune., 1888-07-05

Love Grows with Time.
,Jutdge.l
Fond Mother - Do you like babies, MIR.
Crusty?
Crusty-Er-yes; when they're grown up.
The National tribune., 1888-07-05
A S2 SAMPLE FREE.

Agents wanted g collect small pictures 70 copied ana
enlarged se-st lar circulars ard terms Afdrp5z
J. -gHW WEILEE l-3 Greenwich ST. New York
Mention The National Tribune.