Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1888-11-11
MASCULINE SHOPPING.
THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY MAKES SOME
PURCHASES.
his Experiences With COriOlanus and Some Windy
Tubss-Plsased Into Buying Dat the Shop
and Paralyzng 3 Poor
Policeman.
Fted Il crrrun in Ner 70 / TttDuns.

4atN IA wi ~ tt ~ y ttOuH
I had occasion yesterday to get a few
'thirgs" necessary in q well Regulated
household. I went into a large store o.
the corner, where, as I gather:d from their
advertisements, they were more than satis-
fed if they made anywhere near a living
profit. UGserupulous so-cauei c9mpstl
tors, they claimed, were trying 10 under
s,ll them, but 80 far these one-hcrse con-
earns had received only the well-merite1
scOrn Of a dis Eliminating and ,ovg.beade5
public. I felt greatly pleased at getting
on the track Of q ? lace the frs: thing where
t&ey were contenf 10 lose 8 fair percentage.
I couldn't help feeling sorry for the small
concerns that were struggling along and
trying TO keep mp app ,arSncss, but they
shoUli have known bstter than to have
started in.
There Wa a wide ito re sidewalk around
the store, and besides the oth:r people
there weIesey eral coachmen landing 40 lg
the outer edge wearing long. g'o:my ex-
pressions on their fsc:s. Personally. l ar
rived on the elevated road, which passes
along but 8 few blocks away on somewhat
storte- st lts, it seems to me thin it does
further uptown. | wanted to get a mum.
bar Of thiogq, but all l could think of was
two yeards of felt, 60 l went over to a mar
who looked like Hamlet WHEN PJlonius is
talking to him and asked where they kept
their felt. BE tod me, but looked as if
things were getting woIss and worse in the
State os Denmark.
-a,f % Nha nIono - whtnh Honn1at 6i-
rected me, and found fishing tackle and
Rubber dolls. Haml ts adVi:e to the put
chaser is not satisfactory. However, l
found the felt d p!rtment at last, and eat
do IN on Que OF the clCtl-covered door
Xxi obs which stool along in font OF the
cuun'er mount d on sticks. The youag
LAZY who had thu management of the felts
was very busy matching a piec3 OF green
felt TO q blue sam pie for a cussome:, so l
had time 20 rest. l didn't see anything
mora of Hamlet. but Coriolanus Welt past
once looking for VOlsCians Down ths ki4
glove alley l noticed King R chord II.
m sdi'a6ng on the melancholy fate of SOY.
Gle gas and the pr)bable relative demand
that there wO1ld he next week for fCur
and six button gloves respectively. Every
thing seemed to be intended for rest. Tney
aoIelred to want psople 10 stay with them
am grow oil with them. / saw that the
idea 30 many pelp,e labor under that life
is short is q GelusiOn. / sent word to the
managers desk by Oae OF the cash boys
that if there was any Oh Irge for sitting on
that button afte; the first hour / Toald
make it all right.
The young lady 60 arouni 10 ne at
las, no aever, AMI asked me what co,or /
wanted.
] didn't know that 1 had lost the sample
while l was paving around in the grass in
tde front yard before 1 left home looking
for my street csr tickets. l tod Eec
l thought | wanted q kind of 4 green,
though. She said she didn't see what l
could want of dark green felt, l acknowl-
edged III 1t l didn'tkoow what / wante1 it
for, bat l was pretty sure that was the
color. She said that i'll had lost my lam.
PIE she didn't zee what l could know
about what l wanted, and l had 10 admit
that it was some 50. Then she shovel me
some rad felt, and yellow fslt, and pulp'e
felt, aud vsri rus other coloIei felts.
My miqd kept wandering back
foolishly to the dark green, bat if / tried
to say anything about it she soon put me
on the right track again aud spread ont
some lght 20 e-cOlored felt before me. She
was Just ready to cat M off a piece o. this
when the crazy notion that wanted dark
green gnt the b.t'er of M again, ard |
told her that l must h4veit. l aptl )gized
TO- my freak, but / explsiuei to her that
l would never be happy till l got it, and
saeaked home with it under my overcoat,
aud hid it 30 that no one would ever
know that I had bought dark green felt
lust becsu3e l wanted il when / could
have got light rcss.Co,ored. Size scattered
slabs o. felt right and left for a minute or
40 and dug q roll of the poor, c:acS-
Drained, bark green out OF thu bot
tom of the pile and cut of two yards.
She said j. came to 50 81, reduced from
So 73l, and 1 gave Fer a tive-dOllar bill
She gave the felt TO a 81 ! in a pigeon hole
to lie up and put the money and a cherry
lit ID note t. the Ca2hier, saying that che
had made @ sale and hop2d he was enjoy
log the sam, blessing, in a little round tin
peppev-5ox, with a fur cellar on each ed
of 1t, and dropped it down the end Of q
small ea~ves-sp1ut which came up the side
of the ro,tofice box the girl was ia. Sac
pulled q sort of a thing around over tie top
of the b:a,s tube, and it b?g1n to hmm q
kind Of g sad, subdued dance, and judged
thai all WAS over.
l rested my elbows OF the counter, and
thought, and watched TIE end of that bress
money digesting apparatus for a very long
time. l saw my mistake now that i was
too late. l hal often BEEN warned from
youth up against putting my money Ia
whtrs l would never get it back, and this
must be what they meant had often
wondered when my financially sharp
friends had told m that I must re-c7 pat
my money into anything where / was not
certain of spe edy returns, what they were
referring to; this was evidently it Time
wore on, and the brass pipe hummed the
same sad refrain dawn in
throat and refused TO give up
nv S.. l wouldn't have cared so
much if | hadn't been told so many times
not to put my money mo anything
didn't know anything about. Time went
on and I hung u the one-legged stool,
though l had loag ago given up hop?. ]
noticed that Cardinal Wolsey was prepar'
ing t, 20 home, while Macbeth was hav'
ing a boy take down the sample llcs in
bis department. All at once the organ
pire CLICKED and began to breathe hard,
The girl pulled something and took ou'
the pepper-tox with the whiskers. When
the Young lady opened il and gave me my
change, consisting Of nine pennies and
some other coins, | walked back from the