davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1888-06-20
A MISunderStan ding.

From the Epoch,
"Why JOHN" said his wife, impa-
tiently, as she opened the door and
found him still in bed, ''you promised
faithfully last night that you would
get up in time to go to church with
mer'
II meant in time for evening SER
vice." explained john turning over
luxuriously.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1888-06-20
FoilIng Train Robbers.

Wells Fargo Express company are
now prepared for train robbers, hav-
ing put heavy iron safes in their cars
that can only be opened by the re-
ceiving station knowing the combina-
ton. AS result the messenger, not
knowing the combination, cannot be
forced to open the safe and his life is
likely to be more pleasant and secure.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1888-06-20
The Finest Brand of All.

From Life.
Customer Ito waiter)-"Small bottle
champagne, waiter"
Waiter-"Yes, sir. Do you like a
dry or a rich champagne, sir?"
Customer (earnestly)-"I say wait
er, bring me bottle rich enough to
nav for itSelfO
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1888-06-20
Hear the old veteran pianist, Won

IlooI Uho olu NOV0l"h PiahiSV, NOh
Brun, in choice selections, at Gambri-
nus hall, every night of the week, cor
ner Garden and Market streets. Hall
to rent to private parties, for concerts,
etc. Apply for terms to Mr.. Jarick,
Prop. Piano used is from Thos. Cog
gan & Bros. Leave orders for Brass
or string music. 6-17-6t
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1888-06-20

For SALE-5OO pounds type metal
at the LIGHT office. 3-5-tf
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1888-02-22
NO. 81


Why Is mothers hand on the
head of a sick child so soothing2
Because her love supplies electricity,
which Is a curative force and tonic.
Animal electricity is an agency not
so we'll understood as It should be
by women, though they use It con-
tinually. 1t is erFoneousIy con-
founded with the massage treat
ment, which is nothing more or less
than merely rubbing the entire body
Animal electricity is imparted by
careful manipulation of the muscles,
performed by gently stretching
them with both hands. This pro-
duces an elasticity of action which
causes them to rise, thereby increa-
sing their power to act. Women
whose fingers are supple and yet
strong can best impart electricity to
their children. The treatment
should be applied mainly with The
fingers. When the nerves are pros.
trated they can be invigorated in
the same way. They should be
gently pressed in one direction and
another, which tends to increase
their vitality. The general circula-
ton can be increased by lightly mo-
wing the hands over the surface of
blood vessels, not rubbing them
briskly, but using enough force to
quicken the circulation. Women
can become thorough animal elect
tlicians if they will but devote,
themselves to a careful study of an
atomy. The world is full of half-in-
valid women, who should be resto-
red to health by this natural meth
cd. Drugs will not help them, but
animal electricity applied under the
right condition will Woman's ar
COSY.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1888-02-22
TerrfTtRe FaII.

The Cincinnati Enquirer gives an
account of the disgrace that has ov-
ertaken a fast young Cincinnatian.
1t says. Harry RammeIsberg, y man
whose habits have for long time
been known to men about town, has
been arrested by detectives and
locked up at Central Station ON the
charge of petit larceny. Time was
when the prisoner could have drawn
his check for SIOO, 600. He will
answer to the Police Court Judge
for the theft of an overcoat, the ac-
tual value of which is not more
than SO. Wine, women and gene-
raj dcbauchery have rendered the
once gay and dashing man verita-
BILE wreck, both physically and f.
nancially. Some years ago when
the elder Rammelsberg died he left
an estate of million dollars. OF
this sum each of the boys received
s15o,0OO. Fast living and reckless
speculation have, however, ruined
them all. HarTy's Incarceration as
a petty thief, however, is the most
crushing blow which either of the
ill-starred brothers have yet expert
enced. Time was when Harry
Rammelsberg was the gayest of the
gay, and had an entree into any
class of society. Things are now
different, however. From the dig
nifed and wealthy young man be
has by degrees fallen, until he is
now among the lowest Of the low.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1888-02-22
Darwin.s IsoyislI CrednIiiy.

must have been very simple
little fellow when first went to
school A boy of the name of Gar
nett took me into a cake shop one
day and bought some cakes for
which he did not pay. as the trades
man trusted him. When we came
out ] asked him why he did not pay
for them, and he instantly answer
ed. g Why, do you not know that my
uncle left large sum of money to
the town on condition that every
tradespan should give Whatever was
wanted without payment to anyone
who wore his old hat and moved it
in a particular manner2a aud he.
then showed me how it was moved.
He then went into another shop.
whore he was trusted, and asked for
some smallarticle. moving his hat
in the pf0per manner, and of course
obtained it without payment
When we came out he said, Now
if you like to go by yourself into
that cake shop" chow well ! remem-
ber its exact position) 81 will lend
you my hat, and you can get what
ever you like if you move the hat
on your head properly" gladly
accepted the offer, and went in and
asked for some cakes, moved the
old hat and was walking out of the
shop, when the shopman made
rush for me, SO dropped the cakes
and ran for dear life, and was as
tonished at being greeted by shouts
of laughter by my false friend Gar
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1888-02-22
A Fair Fam, BADLY shaslered.

A very matter-of- fact young dent
ist, who stands high in his profess
sion, and deals as tenderly with his
patients as the nature of his work
and the einstrnmentsof torture which
he wields Will permit, had a long
discussion at the club one evening
with a friend. who is a convert TO
the mind cure theory and defends it
on all occasions. The dentist was
unsparing in his ridicule of this
new 'iism, but his friend remained
unconvinced, and at late hour
they parted, agreeing to Disagree
A few days later the dentist had a
call from his friend, who had a par
ticularly painful teoth. at needs
filing, said the dentist. after the
usual leisurely examination with a.
miniature pitch fork. .s0f course
he added, there is no real pain and
no real cavity, but, as you think
that both exist, / have got to act on
that theory shall not really hurt
you, although you may think / do.
Just sit still, and I'll have it over in
few minutes. And then the
dentist, with sghoulish glee, pro-
ceeded to ply his trade with vigor,
using rasps, and drills, and wedges,
and gouges, and hooks, and scrapers,
and punches, and hammers, until
the terrible job was done. aDid it
hurt him2" the torturer was after
ward asked. sNo-n-no, Think not,
but he thoughtitdid. He Hesquirmed
WE'LL
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1888-02-22
strange Phenomenon.

There is a strange phenomenon
Dnnected with the Upper Red Riv-
!. have several times been stran-
ed by low water in the Upper Red,
by five hundred miles below the
ource, lying with q steamboat for
feeks awaiting rain and rise
Without any rain in the vicinity OF
where the boat was / have seen the
river come up twenty feet or more
in one night. ] Figure out the phe-
in this way. The sources
Of the Red River are in the Liano
of New Mexico, and the
rains falling upon these great plains
pour down into the headwaters OF
the river, and the waters come rush
ing down many hundreds of miles,
where there have been no rains for
and thus result in the un-
looked for swell in the river.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1888-02-22

ITO throw the old slabs away. lie
therefore utilized them as door
stones, so that all visitors to the
kitchen and dairy trod upon in
scriptions gradually fading away,
which, with scriptural phrase and
the cheerful overseeing of triangu-
lar-visaged cherubs, recorded the
names, the virtues and the untimely
taking off of the forefathers of the
thrifty farmer.
In another Maine village is. or
was boarding school for young
ladies, in the kitchen of which a
large white marble slab, sacred to
the memory of worthy woman,
whom it described as having died
in the Lord, was used as knead-
ing board. Now and then loaf
of bread after it was moulded would
rest for moment or two on the
deeply cut inscription, and the
pupils averred-how truthfully the
editor makes no pretense of being
able to determine-that they had
been able to decipher bits of the
words printed on the bottom of the
slices of bread.
But perhaps, the most remarkable
fate for tomstone was that which
befell the moss grown slab in an
English church-yard. An Ameri-
can Parvenu of the same family
name as that of the man whose
death the stone recorded, purchased
the stone af a dishonest sexton and
brought it home with her. 1t is
now set IN into the wall of her
sumptously appointed New York
library, beside fictitious pedigree,
which lies to all beholders by tracing
the family of the present owner
back to that of the man whose name
is on the stone. As he has been
dead 10 years, he is probably be-
yond caring for such things, else
Mrs. Parvenu might have good
reason to expect call from his
ghost some night, come To reclaim
his gr:tvestonc. Bostos c9pfte.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1888-02-22
BAD For Heart Dlsease.

An aged lady tottered from an ell
evator car of high building on
Penn Avenue, Pittsburgh, one after
noon recently and grasped a door
near by for support. She was ashy
pale, and gasped for breath.
"If 1 live through this / will
never put my foot otinsfde an elevator
again" she walled, when at length
she become somewhat composed.
"That fellow dropped me from the
fourth floor like rocket, and ! de-
clare 1 can't get my breath again.
1 am troubled with heart disease,
and my physician has warned me
against these elevators. / really
believe my disobedience has almost
cost me my life" And, indeed, as
she walked unstcadily away, it oc-
Cured to the reporter that her
alarm was not wholly uncalled for.
at is very dangerous for persons
affected with heart palpitation to
descend rapidly in an elevator"
said well known physician who
was interrogated on the subject. 81
have had patients of that kind under
my care who have been set back
months, whom their cases werc i'm
proving very satisfactorily, by that
very thing. There should be some
restriction put upon the speed at
which elevators are allowed to de-
scend."
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1888-02-22

a printer sat in his Office chair, his
boots were patched and his coat
threadbare, and his face weary and
worn with care. While sadly think
ing of business debts, old Morpheus
slowly around him crept, and be-
fore he knew it, he suddenly slept;
and while sleeping, he dreamed
that he was dead, from trouble and
toll his spirit had fed, and that not
even a cow-belI tolIed for the peace
full rest of his cow-hide sole. AS he
wandered among the shades, that
smoke and scorch in lower hades,
he shortly observed an iron door,
that creakingly swung on hinges
ajar, but the entrance was closed
with red-hot bar, and Satan him
self stood peeping out, and watching
for travellers thereabout, and thus
to the passing printer spoke:
"Come in, my dear, it shall cost
you nothing, and never fear, this is
the place where L cook the ones who
never pay their subscriptions sums,
for though in life they may escape,
they will find when dead, it is too
late; l will show you the place
where / melt them thin, with red
hot chains and scraps of tin, and
also where l comb their heads with
broken glass and melted lead, and
of refreshments they only think,
there's boiling water for them to
drink; there's the red-hot grindstone
to grind down their toes, and if they
mention they don't like fire, I'll
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1888-02-22
The nervous origin of Colds.

Whenever, owing to any derange
ment of the nervous system, the
perfect maintenance of the animal
heat fails to be carried out, disorder
ensues, the mildest form of which is
a catarrh, the blocking up of the
skin or outer surface of the body,
with the consequent tranference of
the excretion to the mucous or inner
surface. Deleterious matter, which
ought to have been removed by the
skin, irritates the blood by its re-
tention there, and ultimately ex-
pends itself by the nose and throat
For example, if the nervous system
be feeble, sweating would probably
be induced and consequent loss of
heat, irrespective of the needs of the
body; in which case cold would
most probably follow. AS a fact,
there are many persons with feeble
nerves who readily perspire in the
coldest weather, and are in conse-
quence liable to frequently recurring
colds. The nervous origin of colds
also furnishes us with clue to its
treatment in the early stages. The
whole history of cold shows it to
be essentially and primarily a state
of collapse, demanding early recourse
to stimulating plan of treatment.
There is no more detected mortal
than person in the first stage of a
cold, aud both his physical and men
tai condition point to nervous col
lapse. Hence, we believe, the great
success of camphor and ammonia
limitations in the early stage. 1t
has also been repeatedly found that
two or three glasses of wine have
cut cold short, when taken at the
first appearance of the symptoms,
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1888-02-22
lrard and tlne Cnsk on NaiIs.

irard and the Cask of Nails.
a man who had just set up in the
rdware business, and who had
en- a clerk where the eccentric
Ellionaire Stephen Girard had been
the habit of trading, applied to
m for share of his patronage.
rard bought of him, but when the
ll was sent in he found fault and
arked down the prices. "Cask
nails, The growled, (which 1 was
Eered at SO and so. You have
harged SO and SO, and you must
Ike it Off 81 cannot do it," said
e young merchant. @But you
ust do it, roared Girard. II can
ot and will not was the final re-
". Girard bolted out, apparently
j a rage, but soon aftersent a check
pr the whole bill. The young man
egan to relont and say to himself.
Rerhapss he was offered them at
hat prisS hut it is all over now.
! hi sorry 4 did notreduce the bill and
ct it out of him on something else.
lis trade would have been worth
geat deal to me-" By and by
iifard came again and gave him
Sother order. The young man
Ias very courteous, and said he
,as almost sorry he did not reduce
Ile former bill. "Reduce billr'
GiIard; chad you done
L would never have traded with
ou again. merely meant to see
you had cheated me-"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1888-02-22
NoM. COZ

Wheeling Register: aThe Regis
ter hopes to see in this city on the
twenty ninth inst, the largest con-
vention that ever assembled in the
State. The object of it is purely
and simply to build up West
Virginia, by showing to the world
what we have. We wish to attract
capital and immigration, to adver-
tise our unsurpassed advantages.
Everybody interested in the mat
ter is invited to attend the conyen-
tion, merchants, manufacturers, land
owners, railroad men, producers,
and all public spirited eitizens.
Everybody is more or less directly
interested in the movement.
1t is suggested that public meet
ings be held in every city and town
in the Stats at which delegates to
the convention may be chosen, in
addition to those who may come
voluntarily. The public spirited
mon of the State will see that this
suggestion is carried out. These
meetings win advertise the move
ment, and thus serve a double pur-
pose.
Everything is auspicious and it
only remains for the people to take
hold with will. The railroads of
fer reduced rates to the convention,
so that all who wish may come.
There is mo reason why West
Virginia should not be in the front
rank of the prosperous States of the
Union.
With energy systematically ex-
pended she can be.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1888-02-22

Minneapolis Journal.
When bustles first came into
fashion, q certain society lady in
Minneapolis, who is apt to carry
things a little towards extremes in
matters of dress, had one made to
order. She insisted that it should
be large one, and it was. 1t was
SO gigantic, in fact, that it was rele-
gated to the attic. But in the.
course oftime it came to pass that
bustles were worn largerand larger,
and having need of new one, the
lady bethought herself of the airy
net work that she had once discarded.
Down it came from the attic and it
proved '.iust her size But the
hustle was inhabited. A cunningly
constructed nest reposed inside, and
a fast growing and inquisitive fam
ily of mice polSed zout their pink
noses to resent the rude disturbance
The lady, remarkable to relate, had
not the traditional feminine fear of
mice. She braveIy wore the bustle,.
mice and all. AS the days past on
her strange pets became very tame.
She had small aperture made in
her dress over the top of her hustle
covered with convenient plait, and
it is her chief delight to terrorize
her friends by calling forth the
mice from their retreat, as she sits
entertaining her visitors One poor
dude is alleged to have tainted
away at the sight of the s'horwid
creatures.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1888-02-22

A preacher in one of the towns
on the Marquette range con
cluded not long ago that he had
had enough of the place and would
get up and get, although his congrc-
cation did not want him to. So the
people got up two hundred dollar
donation party, and when he called
for the money, informed him that he
could have it when earned, at the
same time fixing the price per SER
mon he was considered worth. The
minister danced and talked until he
was red in the face, but his task
masters were inexorable, and he is
still preaching for them.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1888-02-22

Republicans are becoming very
much interested in the boom of
Governor Hill for the Democratic
nomination. In his canvas they see
a possible crevice through which to
run the Republican candidate
Later on they will learn that New
York Democracy has but one can
didate. and his name is Grover
Cleveland.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1888-02-22


To the world at large, the United
States is great agricultural nation,
its other activities being somewhat
overshadowed by the products of
its farms and plantations. Yet the
mineral statistics of last year show
that it is also the creates mineral
producer in the world. There are
other surprises in Mayor Powel's
report for 1886, as, for instance,
that the pig iron product was great
err in value than the product of gold
and silver combined, and that it
even exceeded the value of bitumin-
GUS coal. Natural gas, measured
by coal equivalents, has reached a
value of s1O,OOO,OOO per anum.
Altogether the report of mineral
production, though presenting only
one group of the nations industries,
shows again what wonderful
country this is. When to such re-
turns the agricultural product and
manufacturers are added, with a
consideration of the transportation
on facilities required for the accom-
mediation of sixty million people
and the shipment of all the products
to market, it is easy to understand
why we have a surplus in the
Treasury.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1888-02-22

Senator elect Pasco, successor OF
Senator Jones, of Florida, is ex-
tremely modest. He could put to
shame upon this point the most
bashful of girls. He is small in
stature and has the appearance more
of a Louisiana Creole than an Eng
lishman by birth. Tho Senator is
older than he appears. He does
not look to be over forty, when in
fact he is past fifty He was born
in England, but came to this conn
try with his parents at an early age
aud lived until he had finished his
education in Massachusetts just
before the breaking cut OF the war
he went to Florida, where has lived
ever siIlcc
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1888-02-22

Blaine has now learned that IN
sending his famous message across
the water in December, he sadly
mistook the temper of the Ameri-
can people. Sherman and Foraker,
who cannot rise above a feeble i'm
itation of Blaine, have not the
smartness of the Maine statesman in
catching on to the plunder, and are
still firing away ON the protection
t;.iIaey
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1888-02-22

In the Pacific Islands and West
Indies Lizards eggs are eaten With
a gusto. The natives of the Ant
lilies eat alligators' eggs, and the
eggs of the turtle are popular eve
rywhere, though up to the com
mencement of the last century tur-
tie was only eaten by the poor of
Jamaica.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1888-02-22

Senator Stanford gives some ex-
cellent reasons TO one of his con
stitnents for voting for the eonfir-
nation of Mr. Lamar for the supreme
bench. His desire to make the
United States in reality one country,
rs shared m by every American cit
izen except few narrow minded
and selfish politicians.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1888-02-22
A WonderfuI Human Freak


A most remarkable freak of ma
ture, at Chattahooche, Fla, is at
tracing great attention, and hun
dreds of people are coming miles to
see it. AT Barney Hill, a small col
ored settlement ten miles from here,
u colored woman some weeks ago
gave birth to boy child that nearly
scared them all to death. The in
fant was healthy and we'll developed
when born and has continued in
good condition since, but the stran-
gest part is its color. 1t is divided
into two halves, as it were, one rep
resenting the Caucasian an the 9TH
er the African race. One side,
from the center of its forehead down
is as black as coal, while the other
is equally white and fair. Another
monstrous freak of the same nature
is shown by the fact that the Cau-
casian side has thick lips and fiat
nose, kinky hair and black eye-iD
fact, all the African characteristics
while the dark side has fair and
good features, blue eye and soft
silky hair. 1t is in perfect health
and grows fat.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1888-02-22

R. B. coltrain, of Jackson, Mich
igan, is prospecting in this valley
with a view to purchasing land for
a colony which is coming to this
State from Michigan. Mr. Coltrain
has rooms at the st. Albert, and will
remain here a few days-c Charleston
Star.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1888-02-22

The anti-Blaine Republicans are
taking Blaine At his word and con-
graduating the party ON the disast-
er it narrowly escaped. Did Blaine
look for tliis2
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1888-02-22

Blaine meant one of these two
things To get in a campaign docu-
nrent under the guise Of letter of
decIination, or, he honestly believ-
ed that Mr. Cleveland cannot be
beaten.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1888-02-22

Until further notice, quality Carbon Oil will be kept
here the Water White Headlight and those who have been
using the years will know that
the be found aud always the giving clear bright
light, and no charring of wicks
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1888-02-22

The New York Tribune advocates
high tariff OH potatoes IF there
was a tariff on pumpkin heads the
Tribune would have a monopoly