Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1888-03-26

lit, niger witch belonged to Squire
Gavitt afore he wuz robbed NV him
by Linkin, and witch hes the general
cast NV the Gavitt feechers so much
so ez to perduce a GOODNESS betwixt
the old Squire and his wife years ago.
Sim was drest from top to toe in an
entire moo SCOT Nv cloze, hevin his
old ones done up in paper wich he
kerried in his hand.
A lice struck me to wunst.
"Sim," sed l, ''wood a dollar in
duce 700 to cum to meetin tonight,
and wear them cloze Z"
GA dollar is purity cheap-make it
dollar an 'alf and it is a go"
"An 700 will git up an come forrud
and be talked at when / call yoo?"
eyes"
sits go. Be on hand early, and
ware them cloze."
Cali rite, boss"
The evenin come, the horn was
footed, and the Dimocrisy filed out
of Bascom's and filled the house to
| overfiowin. l red the message to EN-,
and seeZin upon the central lice in it
| that the consumer wuz taxed to fill
| the pockets NV the blotid manoofac-
| tOOrer, worked EN- up to a pitch of
| despprashen, witch wuz singler, ez the
clOze on the entire secshun of the
Dimkratic party in that meetinhouse
woodent hev invoiced at that mint
fifty dollars. However | hev notist
that the man whose sole posseshun is
a yeller dog, and whose wife takes in
washin to support him, is the heftiest
complaner NV the burdens Nv taxa
shun. | myself hev dun suthin to-
ward settlin the nashnel debt.
The time for my illustrashen witch
| wuz to clench things had come. Il
see Simeon Gavitt in the awjence,
with a moo SCOT Nv cloze on. Will
Simeon step forward %
Sim walked up, rather embarrassed
at being the best drest man in the
room.
You motifs this SCOT NV cloze, my
friends. | amt jist shoor what the
tariff is on wooden goods, thread,
buttons and SIGH, but | will presoom
that it averages 60 per cent. Esti-
matin the home valoo Nv the goods at
say $40, my friend Simeon was com
PEELED to add to that S12, witch hez
run up the cost of the cloze, maxim
and all, to suthin like $32, the differ
ence between the cost to him, under
the present infamous system and wat
it wood be eff that SCOT had been adj
mitted free O dooty, bein-
'Praps dat's so, boss" spoke up
the cussid niger, 'de tariff, ez you
call it, may hev cost me all dat, but
de fack is L only paid 5000 for de
entire outfit -
"Wat" calculated /.
s'Dot is de cold fact in de case"
piped Oppenheimer, who wuz sittin
in the awjence. "De droubles nit
you in dot SCOT don't happen to be
English goots. It's mostly Yank.
De wool was crowd in Ohio, the linins
wuz made in Connecticut, the thread
in Massachusetts,, the buttons in Phil
adelphy, dose masheens on which
dey vos made in Connecticut oof
Bennsylvany steel, and de cloze wuz
made in Cincinnati by mine brudder-
in-law, land solt by me to Simon. It's
Yank all de way from de sheep back
to de man wat hes 'em on, and de
goots is better goots dan effer vas
made in England. l hev store full
Nv 'em, at de same price-fur cash"
"Watr' | shreeked, saint 'em
English goods I?
''Not a bid oof it. We don't buy
English goods no more. Gombedi-
shen at home is too strong.
"You may sit down." | remarked
to Simeon. "Ther seems to be suth-
in wrong in this somewher. Opprest
by tariff, and buyin SCOT of cloze
for $1,000.
l bustid this time by bein too well
prepared. But | rose ekal to the |
emergency. l aluz do.
NAsBY's SOLUTION.
"My Dimocratic friends, II remark
ed, ''the fault in this matter isn't |
with the president or me. The trou-
BILE is that Simeon Gavitt wood go |
and buy Amerikin goods instid of En-
glish, and ther bein no duty. at all on
Amerikin goods,it appears they come
cheeper.
1t hez the appearance, this tariff NV
a sort O. barrin' out Nv furrin goods,
and maxim SIGH ez we use here to
hum. l coodent be expected to
know that, ez | hewitt paid for any
close since Androo Johnson's time,
and consistently wuz never partikler
ez to the price. But it doesn't alter
the principle. We want English
goods, it appears, and we don't want
Amerikin goods, and our veneratid
he'd hez so declared. Wat is our
bounden duty then, ez Democrats?
Eff he seq we are robbed, we must be
robbed. Therefore, every good dem
ocrat will buy the English goods and
pay the infamous dooty on EN-, and
groan under the tyranny NV monopo
ly. Then the iron will enter his sole,
and he will rise in his mite, ct cetry.
81 know his eggslency is rite, for