New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-01-29
THE TALK OF TIE DAY.

Saws Maiden Lane jewcler: " Ihcre was iast "orh
In Maiden Lane last week tenton saie reii ui'y
feet 70 the ground According to the laws OF velocity
n this safe fell ten feet the first second 1t went at inc
rate ~ 100 feet tho next second and at the rate OF
10 900 feet the third second or nearly TWO miles
second Such a spool as that would mako an ihpr"'
sion on tho check OF our very best drummefs anu
our drummers can hold their own With any In the
trade.n
Higher Education-Mrs Biggs.-Now that your son
bai rsnrnsd from college do 70 feel repaid for your
outlay his edue,ton Did he take any prfe s cot
medal for What he calls sprntng and he must be
high up in mathematics for he says me- earheo ioh
new curves.-(Omaha Republican,
Socialists want to encourage "co-operaton' among
men and discourage corporations" The policy OF
these would DO reformers inconsistent for Co
operation and corporation are In meaning tahen
either in the broadcast the narrowest sense IDENTICAL
RAMPANT Socialists who cry Down with corporations
are crying unconscously maybe what Is the equivalent
Of Down with Socialism,"
little GIRL waking up In season to see the brlant
mnrnInr star shining In at tho window, dwarnng all
ntber Stars and suggesting heavenly light different
fr5m any she had seen before, exclaimed: ,n-..,
"Oh, mammal God, Lighted Ills lamp T-tDos'o"
Transcript
Thu unallenable right OF free speech would appear
not to be hold in very high respect In tho village OF
Uolmesburg Penn. The Holmesburg barber attempted
IN lecture TO his fellow citizens few evenings since
on that alw Ays interesting theme too Hum IN
SCAMP Considering how generally dfused is the
human scalp among mankind and how important 1t is
II the race Is to prosper that 1t should be maintained
1t It's integrity, might be inferred that the barber was
listened to with the closest attention But the dis
graceful fact that he not. Just no was In
forming his audience that there existed remedy for
the absence OF hair from the human scalp he was inter-
rupted by the codbO0d inquiry, "Why don't you try
1t on an old hair trunk2" The barber waived his
right OF free speech and TIE of the lecture went
undelivered money, however, being refunded at
the door,
Future Prospshty .Assured-Strlfng Coal Miner
give US the help we noed. Are you worhngmanl
@weli, if you'u stand by US, coal will be worth $50
ton"
"Thats Just what came here to sec about. We
are getting up an organization to extsnd all over the
country, and we'll help you II you'll support US when
we go OUT
Glorious When do you want to striker
".we'i support you. what's tho name of your or
{" The American confederation of farm hands, II
you'll stand by us, -four will be $50 barrcl"-(onaha
World
The Philadelphia Times" has invited Its readers
to suggest tho beSt thing to do with
$4,000 which gentleman has on hand
and wishes to dispose Of AS might DO
expected 1t IS receiving multitude OF suggestions
from all quarters The gallant Colonel Mcclure him
SELF however, hasn't said anything yet but when every
ono cSo mas got through ne VIII doubtless come out
with tho prize suggestion, to tho effect that tho sum
be spent on advertisements In The Times"
THE MAN WHO KNOWS 1T ALL
OF all tho tifesome creatures met
Along LIES tholny way.
There's one, the plague Of ey'ry set
fact none viii gainsay,
Whose voice. whatever IS discussed.
Tho stage Adams fall.
Into our hapess ears Is thrust
The man who knows 1t all
Hos met whichever way wo turn.
His place Is everywhere.
And though for peace Of homo We yeara
Behold. he's also there.
We can't his reach escape. alas
In parlor, street hall.
SO long as shows the looking glass.
The man who knows 1t all.
--tBoston Budget.
Tho land devoted to vino grapes In France would,
II given over to tho cultivation Of whoat and corn.
supply that country with grain for which she now
gives to other countries about 900 each year.
Ito Dealt in Fireworks" Are you going to marry
, Evergrcens daughteri'
81 guess not. Ho is in tho wrong business
"why, his business Is all right. lie has large
dry-goods storo.'
swell. thought whom I left his house last night
that his speciality Observation-Disclosures Journal
The Mayor of Buffalo Is q wholesale liQvor dealer
and sixteen others of the city officials liquor sellers
In the Swm.-Friend to Congressmans Wfc-is your
husband man OF sedertary babltsi
Wifr-Of c,urso not. Ito hssn't touched drop IN
lfteon years.-lW aShlngtop Critic