Morning journal and courier., 1888-09-26
LASTa

It is to be hoped, SO far as the floods are
concerned, that this is the last rose of sum-
mer.-Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
A nurse girl should fully realize that it is
her attention to the little things which makes
her work a success.-Yonkers Statesman.
The rusticator who is ambitious to climb to
the top of Mount Marcy is the man who, when
in the city, will wait five minutes for an ele-
vator to take him up three fights of STAIRS
Puck.
ssSuppose you should run out of bread at
sea, Mr.. McFinnegan, what would you do?"
"Live on the mate, begorraI" The proper
| answer would have been: Get roll from the
ocean.-Oeean.
Jack-Gus, lend me dollara
Gus (dubiously)-Wellj Jack, I've only got
| a couple of dollars to my name.
Jack-You're lucky. I did think of strik-
| ing you for two.-New York Sun.
| Johnny Dumpsey-Pa, what do sailboats
| do when they meet each other2 They can't
| whistle like steamboats,.
| Mr.. Dumpsey-No, my son; but they all
haYe yawls.-Burlington Free Press.
| Dressmaker-"There doesn't seem to be
stuff enough here to make train three yards
| long" Society belle--"Dear mel How
| much more is neededg' "About half yard. y
| "Wsll, take it off the hiladelphia
Record.
| First tdeacon-"You've got that herse yet,
1 see." Second deaoon-"Why shouldn't I
have him?" First deacon-"You are always
selling or trading your horses, you know. "
Sesond deacon-"There isn't anything the
| matter with this rss."-Ths Cartoon.
Crimsonbeak latter getting quarters
worth OF cigars put on the "slate'D-I say,
Mr. Bernhardt, these cigars are expensive
| You charge altogether too much.
Bernhardt-I begin to think I do. You
will have to pay cash in the efuture.-Yonkerf
| Statesmen.
"Look herel See this plaoard, Goose
"Well, don't know. Goose, have eaten
| and liver, also sausages. have eaten goose
liver and liver sausage, but all together
Goose-liver sausagesl No, think notT-
Fliegende Blntter.
Miss Clara-''I had a delightful call from
young Mr.. Eligible last evening, Ethel. he
left quite early, as he said he had an impor-
tant matter to attend to-" Miss Ethel
with q slight cough)-"Yes, he stopped here
about $50. He is very pleasant, but think
he stayed little later than he ought.-New
| York Sun.
Enamored youth-Your father treats me
| with the most distinguished consideration.
leaving and reminded me- that was forget
| ting my umbrella.
| Sweet girl--Yes, papa was afraid you
/ would be coming back after it the next even
ing.-Philadelphia Record.
Cost of keeping horse.-New Yorker-"I
suppose horse can be kept very oheaply in
| Texasi' Texan-"That all depends on cir
cumstances, stranger. A neighbor of mine
had to pay pretty high for keepin' hoss.
| Chow SOP ''It cost him his life, and he
didn't keep the hoss long either. It was my
hoss he was tryin' to keep. Texas Siftings.
Bewildering Effect of the Tariff Discus
sion.-The Detroit Free Press, in the course
of an able and appreciative editorial on Rob-
| ert Burns, aays: ''Burns is thoroughly
delightful because he is so thoroughly natur-
al Nature fashioned him to be poet, and he
sings Just as the skylark sings, or the night
ingale There is no arti6ciality, but all
spon-proposed by the Mills bill ranges from
1.15 to 1.95 cents per pound, or from 1915
to 68 per cent. ad valorem, etc., etc.