Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1888-03-03
NUGGETS OF FUN.
BY BOB BURDETTE.

BY BOB BURDETTE.
Sometimes it happens that even 9
poet is reformed by the evangelist proof.
reader. This occurred in the case of
young Sapholio, of Cinnamon County,
who wrote his first poem with the open
imp line, II watched her kneel in sud
den hope" and had the pleasure
though his was nothing to the pleasure
of other readers-of reading it, II
washed her knees in suds an soap.
He never sang again, and to this day,
whenever he has trouble with an editor,
he cuts his club from the willow
whereon he hanged his harp.
An old Vedic hymn, over three thou
sands years old, contains the line, "My
mother-in-law detests me-" So, you
see-H'm. What? Wasn't going to say
nothing of the sort Was just going to
say that you can see from this that
there were detestable men even among
the Hindoos three thousand years ago,
and probably even longer ago than
that. Wasn't thinking about mother
in-law.
"What are the causes of loss of MEM
ory?" is discussed by medical Jour
nal Ha! we don't know all the causes,
of course, but one term as director of
the Pacific Railroad seems to knock the
memory of an able-bodied man colder
than anything else. "
"a watched pot never boils," but q
carbuncle always does. That is because
a carbuncle is always placed on yonr
neck, where you can't watch it. There
may be some other reason, but this will
do, as it is little out of season.
eyes," said the superintendent, i'm
pressively; "all England ionizes the
cowboys and the Indians now; but there
is one greater than Buffalo Bill" II
know" shouted the smart bad boy;
"thepress agent!"
Much pale brandy has made Bariton's
voice husky and he retires from the
stage. "How did BARTON loose his
voice ?" asks q friend. "He swallowed
il, replied the singers physician.
r In England an ordained clergyman is
disqualified from entering Parliament.
There is something really beautiful in
the care the English people take of
their ministers.
"Why can man walk farther on q
cold day than on hot one?" asked in
quisitive Jack. Because" said the
Major. swarm weather makes him
limp"
"What are you doing herep" asked
the contractor. II am the Waterman"
"Oh, see; and what do you watch?"
"Watch for the boss, Mostly"
A cablegram says: "The Queen will
not publish new book" She doesn't
have to. Nobody has read the old one
yet.
See here, deacon. is this the way you
spend your Sabbath morning? Put
down this paper and 90 to church.
Chinese thieves know that "persever-
ance conquers all things" even to bed
clothes.
Another friend swoke one night, and
saw, in the full light of the moon shin
ing through window, Chinese thief
on his knees, bending over quantity
Of clothing, busily packing and tying
~ up III q Su0oos Lib hlcuu, m0u Va
great GOODNESS and presence of mind,
thought that il, without alarming the
thief, he could spring from the bed
upon the back of the intruder thus
bent over he could hold him down and
capture him.
So. after removing the bedding with
The utmost care he sprang upon the
thief and succeeded in clasping him
about the waist He then found, to
his disgust. that the body of the China
man was oiled, and with all his strength
he could not prevent him from turning
about in his arms
Thinking to improve matters, he
kept one arm about the waist of the
thief and reached up with the other to
seize him by the queue; but he drew it
away again at once. bleeding in a half
dozen places, and the thief easily
slipped from the single arm that sur
rounded him and, empty-handed,
bounded from the room and disap-
peared Youths Companion
YFERE In more or less sorrow IN Aha