The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1888-07-07
FIRST FAMILIES

selves upon in this country, it is our
first families.
Every town has its first families, but
their importance depends on their
location.
The first families in Boston, for IN
stance, are very blue blooded indeed,
for some of them know who their grand
father was and boast of him. They
acknowledge that Springfield has first
families, but allude to them as highly
respectable people, and the Springfield
aristocrats in turn mention the first
families of Sapville as decent sort of
country folks.
You will see the first families have
their degrees, but what constitutes a
first family is rather hard to determine.
First families usually have niger
and a coat of arms ; but they often OBJ,
ject to too dlligent examination of
the family tree, as sometimes ancestors
are found hanging to it, and the coat
without arms. or what the vul gar second
and third families call vest.
The same standard of first familyism
is not applicable to all places. Mr.
Beans, of Boston, dates his family from
1920, when his ancestor came over in
the Mayflower, the ancestor having
been the ships cook. Mr.. Lardley, of
Chicago, goes back to the medieval
ages before the fire, and IS not familiar
with the name of his grandfather
Hustler, of Denver, is an aristocrat from
way back and his father carried his for
ture and family portraits into Denver
in wheelbarrow in the misty days OF
1874.
A knowledge of ones grandsire can
hardly be the standard, for old man
Sloper in the poorhouse remembers
distinctly thai his grandfather died in
the same hotel.
The fact that man had ancestors
can hardly be the measure of a family's
greatness, for it Is hard to imagine how
fellow could get along without ances
tiers, even if historians forget to mention
them.
We have vainly endeavored to figure
out what constitutes first family, and
have almost given it up. The best way
is to say you are one and 60 around
blowing about it. Your neighbors will
probably call you fool tor I, light or ten
years, and then end by believing you,
when you are first family in good
standing.
There's McGiggles, now. He's a
first family. McGiggles went to school
with me, and wore pants with Is and
bay windows on them, for his father
carried the hod and drank tod.
was sort of stuck up in those days,
and became book-keeper in hardware
store, while McGiggles drove grocery
wagon. He went into business later
for himself and made slathers of money
in the barrel business. He gave up his
barrels, joined the church, married a
deacon's daughter, and struck out to be
first family, and he got there with
both feet McGiggles rs high-toned
now, but S i'll he notices me sometimes
and says l am respectable, hard
working man.
l don't know that will ever 60 in
for being first family man, but per
haps l will if l don't join the Knights
of Labor or the Anarchists.
However, we've got to have some
body for first families, and McGlggles
might as well be one as any fellow,
especially as his boy, T. Jefferson Nc
Giggles, is now at Harvard, and Edith
McGiggIes is going to Europe In June
to study art.
The Bilkmans used to be blue bloods
until the old man bust up in telephone
stocks. Then the old woman fired her
niger and started hash factory, and
that broke up the family business for
them.
Old Mandrak" IS rushing to the front
as a first familyist since his Indian elixir
began to catch on, and Jimmy, his son,
who used to wash the bottles, was get
ting measured for a dress suit the other
day when l passed Shears tailor shop.
Some really great man, like Mr.. Ward
McAllister, should devote his time and
energies to writing book on this sub
ject. and fix, once and for all, some
standard by which a man away down
in the tenth and eleventh families can
recognize and do homage to a first
family the minute he sees one.
By dong this he will earn the gratl-
tude of common, every day, red-blooded
American citizens.