davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening world., 1888-09-08
A Prize for wit,

from the BURLINGTON HACK Eys.l
The New York EVENING WORLD invites the
parsgrapher Of The HACK Eye to enter a Joke con-
test which It has organized. Anything that looks
enough like a joke to make a man look serious will
do and anybody can enter who wants to. The
joke must be original and not more than two
hundred words long. You can make It "a broad
and as deep as you want to. and, brevity beng
recognized as the soul Of wit, you can say just as
little as you please. Mr.. K w. Nye, commonly
THE WORLD assures us will be sustained IL 1t has to
call out the troops. The joke that strikes him
hardest will catch a pot Of $25. We understand
that MIR. Nye has allowed an enormous salary to be
thrust upon him in consideration Tor his generous
and nobly self.sacrlfcing service in this matter,
but THE EVENING WORLD can well AFFORD to make
1t q million.
The evening world., 1888-09-08

The Furniture Workers Section was presided
over last night by Delegate Rmerioh, OF Furniture
Workers Union No. 10.
The Central Labor Union will meet tomorrow
afternoon IN Clarendon Hall, when politics will
again absorb Its attention.
A resolution was adopted at the Trades Con-
gress, Just held AZ Bradford, England, favoring
the exclusion from the country. OF semi-pauper
immigrants unless they are skilled workerL
Master Workman Qulnn'a opponents declare tn at
they will keep up tho battle against him until the
General Assembly OF the Knights OF Labor settles
the difficulty. Meantime both sides are likely to
lose the Pytnagoras Han property.
The Custom Varnishers' Union having reported
that the workmen IN Cabbush'a snop, at Tenth
avenue and Forty-nrst street, were prevented
from participating In The Labor Day parade upon
pain OF discharge, the Furniture WORKERS. Section
last night appointed u TO organise the
men In the shop.
The evening world., 1888-09-08

To the Editor OF The Evening World!
1 am living with my husband because deli
cate health precludes the possibility of earn
ing q maintenance for three children and
myself. l could easily support myself. but 1
could not live apart from my children. For
this reason I must take the little he gives me
from his liberal salary. 1 see him buy ex-
pensive clothing the children and I do
without, or the cheapest is all I can get.
We stay at home while he goes on his vaca-
ton to a fashionable summer resort. When
he returns he entertains me with a descrip-
ton Of the beauties of the place, of the
good time he had, of questionable converse
ton with one or two ladies there, &c. 1t
never enters his mind that it would be at all
proper for me or the children to have gone
with him. If l suggest it he tells me plainly
that / am not going. "'Tis too expensive
Now | would suggest to similar men that tor
O slight consideration their wants can be
supplied at an intelligence Office, and unless
he wants a companion it is cowardly to marry
a woman who must wait and hope the time is
near when her earthly wrongs will be divinely
righted. STILL ANOTHER.
The evening world., 1888-09-08
THE ANTi.HiLL MEETING.

Inc enu-Hnl meeting was Q nzzle.
1t was q gathering Of the personal followers Of
ex-Mayor Grace and Henry George.
Tue hall was well nllsd. but there we're no work.
ingmen present.
The total absence Of men who toll for o living
was noticeable.
The majority Of those present looked wealthy
enough TO be Republicans.
But yet there were plenty OF the Governors
friends on hand.
They were there Of their own free will. No one
asked them to attend or ordered them there.
They did not come Ia crowds, but walked in
singly and were scattered about the hall
They did not know each other, and every friend
OF the Governor was surprised to md 30 many
present who felt like himself.
The meeting was q regular circus from beginning
to end.
There were certainly six hundred sup porters Of
the Governor present and they kept the other nine
hundred people rather warm.
The resolutions were too bitter and too personal
and too vindictive to please any audience.
The resolutions did more harm than good, and
many men who went TO the meeting opposed to
Hill went away his friends.
Mr.. Wheeler II. Peckham was astonished when
he was Interrupted by objections to his remarks
about the Governor.
lie became more vexed when the audience be-
gan nf1nR questions at him.
Mr.. Peckham at last became disguised and
stopped his speech before he had half finished his
| prepared onslaught
William NJ. Twins, the City Chamberlain and ex-
Mayor Grace's man Friday, was. of course, pres
cnt.
MIR. Twins helped to get up the meeting and paid
one-half of the expense.
Mr.. Ivins was in q rage all the evening. He
asked Inspector williams to put the friends OF
Gov. Hill out Of the hall.
Inspector Williams made this ~facetious reply:
"There won't be any meeting left"
Every time cheers were called for David D. Hill
they were given with q will.
Henry George made the Cleveland Republicans
angry when he said that no would support and vote
for Cleveland because he (George) was q free
trader.
Ex-Railroad Commissioner John d. Herman was
In bad company. He was surrounded on the plat
form by o number OF men who in 1872 voted against
his father, Francis Herman, for Governor because
he was q Catholic.
There were hundreds of persons present who
have never voted the Democratic ticket and who
have never attended o Democratic meeting or con-
vention.
There were at least twenty names read of as
Vice-Prehident and secretaries who never gave
their consent to the liberty.
Ex-Mayor Franklin Edison was one Of the onlcers
Of the meeting. MIR. Peokham, MI. George and
MIR. Wins have again and again denounced him for
appointing Rollin NJ. Squire Commissioner OF Public
Works.
They, however, walk arm and arm with him be-
cause he has q personal grievance against Gov.
Hill.
said a young Democrat in front Of Cooper Union,
last evening: THAT gang would sell out Cleve-
| land In an enueaVOf tn dpfaat HYl- and than mi
The evening world., 1888-09-08

known except among . comparatively
small circle Of friends and literary
admirers. Uncle Tom was . tale which
went 10 the public heart, and there 10 no
doubt that II helped to overthrow Southern
slavery Just a. the old poem, " The Africans
Lament" In said to have aided In the sbsn-
donmsnt Of slave-trsding by England.
"Unole Toms Cabin" had an unprece.
dented sale at the time Of its publication.
Yet, strange TO say, It is now seldom hoard
Of except when some ambitious actress aspires
TO become q star" in Topsy. The time
and the occasion for the novel have passed
away.
The evening world., 1888-09-08
JERSEYS NEW JURY PROCESS.
1t In Said to Give Great Satisfaction in
Hudson County.

1t In Said to Give Great saasfaction In
Hudson County.
Hudson County IN. J.) people are said to
be generally pleased with the SUCCESS of the
new process of providing Grand turymen.
The first panel selected by the newCommis-
~sioners. Smith Haynes, of Jersey CITY, and
John Reed, of Hoboken. has jus been
handed in. $50.
On the panel are three c~lergymen Rev.
Father Corrigan. of H~oboken, and Rev.
Cornelius Brett, of the old Bergen Reformed
Church.
Among the other jurymen are some of ME
foremost men Of the city. Those best known
are William E. Arrowsmith, the Hobokea
merchant ex-Mayor E.. V. s. Besson. q
Hoboken; City II easurer Bente, of Hoboken;
SON Railroad Company; Lawyer Andrew
Baricle, ex.Speaker John D. Carscallen.
now President of the Third National
Bank; State Treasurer John J. Toffey,
George w. Clerihew, the Jersey City mer.
chant Perry t. Cumberson, Speaker Sam.
uel d. Dickinson, Jersey City's Comptroller;
Garwood Ferris, William Gopsill, ex-Mayol
Henderson. the scotsman; ex-Mayor Krug.
Ter, Fred M. Lockwood, of the Stock Elk
change Col. John McAnerny, Hugh Mckay
Assemblyman Edward Mcdonald, of Harri
son Lawyer s.. s. Negus, ex-Mayor O'Neill,
ex-Director Thorne p. Sherwood, Col.
Edwin Van Houten, ex-Director John A,
Walker and many others whose names arr
equally we'll known. ~
The petit jury is made up of men quite o.
reliable as these, and from their number viii
be drawn the juries in the trials of the in
dioted Board of Works Commissioners.
The evening world., 1888-09-08
T

The Fifth avenue stage incident last
Thursday night suggests the ~propriety of
compelling by law the proper restraint Of
persons who cannot be suffered TO 60 at large
and unattended without danger to the public
peace and comfort, II not to human life. A
reputable gentleman of mature age is riding
with his wife in q public conveyance, when
he is suddenly and without any cause attacked
by a young woman who accuses him of in
sulting her. spits in his face, assaults him
with an umbrella, and when he attempts to
leave the stage with his wife strikes that
lady. and eventually causes the gentleman's
arrest.
or course when the station. house was
reached the charge against Mr.. Low was not
entertained by the officer on duty. The fact
then became known that the angry woman
was the same Miss CoTFN whose name re-
Gently came into public notice through her
singular behavior towards an actor. It was
then shown that she was mentally deranRed,
and 1t is now said that her condition has
been growing gradually worse. It Is evident
that she is not responsible for her actions.
and II she should take a human life in her
excitement who would be to blamer
1t is bad enough for q reputable citizen to
be subject to such an outrage as that CON-
mitted on Mr.. Low while in his wife's CON-
pany. But when it is remembered that his
life might easily have been sacrificed If his
assailant had been armed and taken Q fancy
to shoot, the danger of leaving such a person
as Miss Coffin unrestrained becomes ap-
parent.
There have been numerous instances Of
tragedies resulting from the acts of demented
persons, and 1t is time the law should take
oognizanoe OF the evil and compel the friends
those who are mentally deranged to keep Q
proper watch and guard over them for the
public safety.
The evening world., 1888-09-08

To the Editor Of The Eusnino World:
The article from "A Wife," in which she
expresses her views concerning the question.
" Is marriage a failure ?" has induced me to
give my opinion. From her experience she
thinks it is. and no doubt all others who are
placed in the same position think the same
but from my experience 1 do not agree with
her, and I think my case is not an exceptional
one. My husband belongs to nc club. All
bis leisure time is spent at home. He
never spends an evening out unless I accom-
pany him, and tinds no place more pleasant
than home in my society. Now l think in
every case where marriage is q failure true
love is wanting, and it certainly is in
Wife's " case, and all others who have the
same complaint. For if a man truly loves
his wife he will find more pleasure in her
society than at the club or elsewhere, and I
think many will agree with me that without
love marriage will in every case be o failure.
New York. Sept. 6. A HAPPY WIFE.
The evening world., 1888-09-08
MRS. STOVES u,LNHss

Mrs. HARRHr BEEcHER SrowE Is believed
lobe dying. For some time her health has
been falling, and she now lies at her summer
residence at Sag Harbor with small hope Of
recovery. Her real sickness commenced
about eight days ago, when abe was attacked
by congestion of the brain, followed by men.
ingitis.
Mrs. sTowE was made famous by a single
work. If she had never written Uncle
Tom's Cabin" and If that remarkable story
had not been published at the moment when
the public mind was prepared to appreciate
aus touching beauties and to ft them
70 the occurrences Of everyday life,
nas name would never have beam
The evening world., 1888-09-08
A BOOK FOR THE VOTERS.
The Place 20 Lock for All Anybody Wants
to Know or tho Issues.

The Place 20 Lock for All Anybody Want.
to Know or tho Issues.
The Campaign Text Book Of the Demo-
cratic Party Of the United States for the Pres
idential Campaign Of 1885," il the title of q
compendious volume which has been prepared
by direction Of the National Democratic
Committee and just issued by Brentanos. of
Union Square. It is q handsomely printed
octave volume Of 855 pages and contains
everything about politics and the issues of
the present campaign that the most exacting
voter could possibly want to know.
AS the committee states in it's preface, the
object of the textbook is TO present all the
Ideas and policies which the Democratic
party has exetnplifed in the administration
of the affairs Of the Government during the
past four years, aud to illustrate the princi-
pies of the party a established during all the
years of its growthand history.
After the ST. Louis platform. which
enunciated the Democr .tic doctrines,
sketches of the candidates are given: Then
comes Cleyeland,s record on the tariff ques-
ton, and all public documents and speeches
relating to the subjectin any way during the
rast three years are given in the fullest man.
ner. A concise istory Of the management of
each of the departments 81 of the Government
under C%ieveland's administration is also
given, with specially careful surveys of the
Treasury Department and the question of
the public debt and surplus.
The policy of the Democratic party with
reference to labor and corporations, as well
as with regard to the Chinese question, are
thoroughly reviewed, while the attitude of
the Republican candidates and leaders upon
these questions, and on the free whiskey
policy" is criticised and condemned.
In the closing chapters of the POOL there is
lots of interesting and instructive reading,
and no good Democrat who wants to know
just how the party stands to-day. and what
he Is voting for, can afford to do without it.
The evening world., 1888-09-08

The Joke Contest closes TO-DAY. No con
tribution reaching The EVENING WORLD
Office after to-day can be entered in the CON-
petition. Judge Nye will ct once address
himself to the task Of. determining the prize
winner. But as over 5000 alleged jokes have
been received sin CO the contest was opened,
II will require some little time for him to
reach o decision.
Following are q few of the later candidates
for the prize:
Sublime Impudence.
Last Saturday I visited my aunt's farm in
Shantytown. As I entered the kitchen there
stood temptinRly before me q pail Of creamy
fluid, fresh from the COW.
As l was thirsty I drank the contents.
just then q colored man entered, and TAX
ing the pail, yelled out "Whar's my kalso-
mine ?"
/" Horrors |" I said in q pale tone. " drank
he instantly made out this bill,
To interior decoration ............... $1.00
Extra 10
Dan he recover? Also can II r. D.
OIL Tenth avenue.
The evening world., 1888-09-08
Circulation Books Always Open.
Is MARRIAGE A FAILURE

The discussion Of matrimony as q success
or failure has now been going on for some
days by the correspondents of THE EVENING
WORLD, and q variety of opinions have been
expressed.
People who consider this question appear
to be influenced in their conclusions by the
fact that q large number Of married people
either publicly or privately exhibit the skel-
eton in their closet, and thus 60 onto the
record as proving marriage to be o
failure. But such o belief is o libel
on human nature and an absurdity.
Happiness in married life sits down by its
own comfortable freside, draws its curtains
closely before the windows and enjoys itself
without counting observation from any but the
loving eyes that mako up the contented
family circle. Unhappy marriages hnunt
themselves in the police and divorce courts
or shout out their grievances in 0 tone loud
enough to penetrate party-walls and reach
the ears Of gossiping neighbors.
Thus ~unhappiness and discomfort by the
family hearth make themselves heard and
known, while happiness and peace remain
silent and unobserved except by immediate
friends. Take any street in New York,
brown stone or brick. private dwellings, or
tenements, and it Is q libel on the community
to pretend that there are not within their
walls hundreds of happy and contented
homes to one haunted by the demon of dis
cord and discomfort.
The evening world., 1888-09-08
UNION Or NO UNION, WHICH ?
Tho Factions Don't Want One, but It May
Be- Forced Upon Thorn.

Tho Factions Don't Want Ono, but II May
Be Forced Upon Thorn.
The Tammany Hall leaders have not
wavered in their opposition to a union with
the County Democracy. COMMISSIONS
Croker, Sheriff Grant, County Clerk Flack
and Register Slevin insist that a three-cor-
nered fight would help Cleveland and Thur.
man at least fifteen thousand votes in this
county.
The County Democracy leaders say that
they are willing to unite with Tammany Hall,
and thinks hat q factious war would hurt the
national ticket. They aver, however, that
they are not afraid to have one more tussle
with the WigwaIn.
They also boast that in case of a fight they
will renominate Mayor Hewitt. and that he
Will be Reelected, no matter who Tammany
Hall may nominate.
Statesmen who do not belong to either fac
ton and who frequent the Hoffman House
are inclined to the belief that the National
and State Committees will insist upon Tam
mating a union ticket. The rural members
of the State Committee are ali in favor of a
union between the W. machines.
When the braves Of the Wigwam and the
warriors Of the New Amsterdam Club return
from Buffalo, union or no union will at once
be taken up for consideration.
Tamnany Hall and the County Democracy
will unite upon a single delegation at the
State Convention. 1t is likely that Tammany
Hall will give a representative to the Purroy
organization on its list of delegates. Any OBJ
lection on the part of the County Democracy
to this scheme would not avail. as the Purroy
people would appear as Tammany Hall dele
gates, and not az direct representatives of the
third machine in this city.
The Tammany Hall special train for But
falo will leave the Grand Central Depot at Q
p. next Monday. The braves are to be
rendered o hearty welcome at Troy, where
they will stop for a few hours. There will
be a torchlight parade music, fireworks and
q banquet. Troy is to be painted red.
The evening world., 1888-09-08
He Was In No Danger.

This village is afflicted with scarlet fever,
diphtheria and a baseball club. The I" pet Of
the nine" is (around the stove in winter)
der boss third baseman of dis county"
The other night at the corner grocery he re-
marked ~ don't think 1 would catch the
scarlet fever or diphtheria."
At this point q weary-looking farmer, who
had bet IN the wrong side and knows how
nan railroad ties there are between M
corner and addressed the pet thusly:
Be you the lad what played third base for
our boys at M"
The pet promptly responded Yes"
wal, then" was the disguised rejoinder,
you needn't be afeared, as there amt any
danger Of your catching anything"
JOHNSTON JoHNEs. Goshen, N. Y.
p. S.-You can take two cents out of that
$26 to pay postage in getting it here. J.J.
The evening world., 1888-09-08
A Conundru,n In Verso.

Why are the persons who for you rewrite
Such chestnuts, bewhiskered and old,
Stale patriarch puns. first brought to the
light
BY fingers now pulseless and cold.
Like greedy lawyer who labors to break
The will of o pabob deceased,
In order TO gobble o corpulent = stake"
And swallow the fat Of the feastp
The answer stands out as keen as the sword
That cleaned over Damooles's head
They hope they will reap q fun ancial reward
b. .langling the work of the dead.
Ohm CRAWFORD, 834 Broadway.
The evening world., 1888-09-08
NO PARTISAN POLITICS
The Building Trades Section Lays q Stern
Prohibition on Its Members.

inc buituink Iruuob SecttOn Lays q storm
Prohibition on Its Members.
Delegate Jones, of Progressive Painters
Union No. /, presided over the meeting of
the Building Trades Section last night.
Matthew Barr, delegate of tile Tin and
Sheet-Iron Workers Union. reported that all
the principal employers in that trade had ac-
coded to the request for an advance of wages.
and it is expected that all the smaller en-
ployers will follow suit.
A long debate was had upon the question
of delegates taking part in political affairs,
and it finally resulted in the passage of a
resolution which prohibits, without the CON
sent of the Central Labor Union, any dele
gate of that body or of the Building Trades
Section from taking an active part in poll
tics.
Delegates Campbell, House and Millen
were admitted as delegates from the Wood
packers Association.
The evening world., 1888-09-08
FROM THE CITY'S WHIRL
DRIFT CAUGHT HERE AND THERE By
EVENING WORLD" REPoRTlRa.

A Straw Hat Twice Rescued, bus Ls.t n,
the Third Trial.
In Park row q neat straw hat was lying near
the track Of the surface road. II was of Ana
straw and was flecked with two or thres
splashes of mud. Its appearance was moi
that of a hat which had been cast away.
A man who saw the cor coming alone
walked out and, picking the hat up deposited
it on the sidewalk.
Somebody must have dropped It from thu
L road" he said.
A momen after two boys. eight and four
years of age. came along. The small kid.
who was bareheaded and had on a pink
waist. plucked his brother by the arm as he
caught sight of the hat on the sidewalk and
pointing to it, said
See! Hat. Straw hat"
The brother took in the hat, but seemed N
be restrained by a sense that it was some.
body else's chapeau, for he did not move
towards it. The small boy, after eying Il
for half q minute. skipped over and nabbed
with some stockings over his arm, cIutched
him and in loud tones of voice made him
give up the hat. Then the man spoke 10 a
young fellow with a highly bloodshot eve.
who kept a bootblacking stand.
Some fellow has dropped his hat off the
train. He'll be around for it soon, =" said the
black.
AN right" said the bootblack.
After the man and the kids had moved
away the bootblack spoke to q pard of his ON
the corner and then walked into the adioin-
ing, GROCERY. The man to whom he had
spoken a moment after walked along and
whipping the hat from under the chair
walked of with it and disappeared up q side
street.
Three minutes later a are-headed man
came down the street in O hurry. He looked
out in the street as he approached the boot.
blacks stand, looking for his hat. When he
found that it was gone he spoke to one or
two of the men, and finally to the bootblack.
who had come out of the rummery and was
standing innocently at his chair.
Did you see q hat around here ?" the man
asked.
why. yaas. I think I did sec one alvin
round here not long ago. Somebody must q
picked it up and gone off with it,"
".You don't know who it was p" said the
hatless man, ~anxiously.
Nav. Don't know nuthin' more'n what I
jes told yer, " answered the bootblack.
The man who had lost the hat rubbed his
unprotected head disconsolately, and slowly
made of in the direction of the nearest hat
store.
The evening world., 1888-09-08
GOOD THINGS For SUNDAY.

Fowl, 10 cents.
Lettuce. Q cents.
Founders, 8 cents.
Caulinower, Z cents.
Duck. 20 cents q pound
Radlshes. / cent Q bunch.
Tomatoes, 8 cents Q quart
Bluensh, 10 cents q pound.
Turkeys. 20 cents Q pound.
String beans, 4 cents Q quart
Green peppers, 10 cents 4 dozen.
Butter. 20. % and % cents; best n cenA
Peaches, 10 cents q quart I; pears, 10 cents.
American cream cheese. II cents; imported
rs cents; domestic. 20 cents.
Grapes, Concords, 4 cents q pound, 90 cents o
ten-pound basket; Catawbas, 10 cents.
The evening world., 1888-09-08
All in the Family.

All in tho Family.
IRON the Philadelphia Rsoord.l
Employer-So you think you ought to have an in.
crease of salary?
Clerk-Yes, sir. I will soon need double my
present pay, for l intend to marry.
''Really, sir. ] should like 10 you,
but my business is not profitable just now. and
every cent / add to your wages must come out Of
the small margin on which ! support my family. "
Ion, that's all right The money won't 90 out
OF the family. ! Intend TO marry your daughter. F."
The evening world., 1888-09-08
Young MIR. Jacobs,s Invention.

A clever device by Robert Jacobs, an eighteen
year-old inventor. Of s9 Broadway, is destined to
I'LL a long-felt want. 1t IL designed to prevent the
enormous b~reakage Of glass chandelier globes
which results under the present system of attach
they are expanded and cracked by heat or by not
fastening them securely enough, when they are
easily knocked of.
Young Jacopss attachment is easily fastened to
the gas burner, and operates by means Of Q spiral
spring grip which provides for both expansion and
conlrAction.