davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
Ben Butler and the Page.

One of the pages in the house of repre-
sentatives had a faculty for drawing His
sketches of the members were fairly good
caricatures. The easiest mark for his pencil
was the statesman from Massachusetts,, and
the caricatures Of Ben began to float around
the house pretty promiscuously. The matter
coming to the attention of Mr.. Butler, COM
plant was made to the doorkeeper, who had
charge of the pages. The offending boy was
kept after adjournment to be reprimanded.
He was taken before the statesman, who had
waited to hold court on the little criminal.
$50 you are the hoy that has been making
these picturesT
eyes, sir.n
"Humi How old are your
"Twelve, sir.n
"Well, go to the cloak room and get my
hat"
The boy scampered off on the errand, glad
even for the momentary respite, but evolv-
ing in his mind the possible character of the
impending punishment, which was such that
the judge needed his hat before going to the
place of execution. When the youngster had
returned and tremblingly yielded up the tile,
| the general who has an enormous head,
threw the hat like candle snuffer down over
the tow head and flaming face of the boy.
1t covered him like a second mortgage
"My son." said the hero of New Orleans,
''when you can fill that hat you may carica-
ture Benjamin f, Butler. Now go"-Chi-
| cago Herald.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
s.. HI. .Bavnard,
FIFTH AND MARKET SITS.

FIFTH AND MARKET SITS.
Hashislarge wareroomsc chuck full
of Pianosand Organs. They are for
sale. 1t will pay you to stop in and
>Xamine his stock. New goods.
New Management. We mention
a few leading makes. First on the
list we place the standard WEBER
good as gold. Then comes the
HARDMAN remarkable for it,
inc tone and finish and splendid
wearing qualities. You must not
pass by the MASON&HAMLIN
their new method Of string ng will
,trikeyouas a radiccl improvement
piano making. CHlCKERlNG
a household word. Then for
medium prices we have the favor
lte MARSHALL &WENDELL,
STIRLING and others. Piano,
n all styles of Rosewood, Ebony,
Mahogany and Blister Walnut.
Cash or instalments.
Is it an ORGAN you are look
ng for? How will an ESTY do2-
ing OF organs. Following cl' sely
IN its heels are the DYER &
| HUGHES and WILCOX &
HlTE, both noted for theil
olume, sweetness durability anc
rtistic design Always on hanc
,e popular Eastern Cottage Or
ans in every style OF case anc
.ction, Cash or installments.
Smaller Instruments in grea
ariety. Sheet music and books
Pianos, organs,a2C 2Cordeons, &c.
thoroughly tuned and repaired b,
). P. Potter, with
5. III. Barnard
FIFTH AND MARKET SITS
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
He Had No Library.

81 believe you are a great reader, Miss
Quimby7'
eyes, read great deal"
''Have you read any of Tolstoi's worksF
''No, but l am dying to see some Of his
books.n
"There is no reason why you shouldn't see
them. l can furnish you with them"
''How delightful You must have quite
library, Mr.. Longhead"
mo, / can't say that have. But, you
see, am book agent NEBRASKA State
Journal
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
Eighteen sronths Was Nothing.

Judge Gary has probably made more witty
and quaint remarks on the bench than any
other judge in Chicago.
On one occasion, when he was sitting in
the criminal court, he appointed young
attorney to defend young criminal who was
brought to trial and who had no lawyer.
The young man had just been admitted to
the bar and was consequently ambitious to
make a reputation, but despite his utmost
endeavors his client was ''sent up" for eighteen
months.
After court adjourned the young man
walked over town with the judge and took
occasion to say:
THAT was pretty hard on me, judge"
"What was hardm asked the judge in his
absent minded way.
"Why, my first olse wanted to get a
little start, and here my client gets eighteen
months.n
"That's nothing" returned the judge, sem
tentiously. "My first client got eight years. n
Chicago Tribune.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
All out of Locks.

Gen. Sherman has received so many re-
quests lately for autographs and locks of hair
that he has had reply printed that reads
like this: at is impossible for me to comply
with all the requests for autographs, and
cannot send any more locks of hair because
have discharged my secretary, whose hair
had entirely disappeared under constant ap-
plcation of the scissors, and the orderly who
now serves me is entirely bald. Boston
Transcript
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
Here,s a Moral for Yon.

Donald Fletcher, who has just been elected
president of the Denver (Colo.l Chamber of
Commerce, reached that city nine years ago
almost dead with consumption and with only
s. in his pocket. He is now one of the
wealthiest men in Denver, and has robust
health. Moral; Go west, young man, with
S. in your pocket and a bad attack Of con-
sumption in your system. -Norristown Her
IL
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
NECESSARY PreIIminaries.

Professional Stage Manager engaged to
superintend amateur theatricals)- the
audience all seatedl
Professional Assistant-Yes, sir.
"No one allowed to enter except those who
had invitationsp
"No, sir.n
'Did the policemen at the door succeed in
disarming everybody"
eyes, sir"
"Ring up the curtain. ."-Omaha World.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
They Acted Like IL,

"Do you know" remarked the professor,
''that dogs have been known to act strangely
for several hours before an earthquakeln
81 do,n calmly answered the student "And
what do you infer from this fectf continued
the professor. "That they were strange
dogs" replied the brave young man,-Bur-
dette in Brooklyn Eagle.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
ioc., 25c., SOC. and $l.oo.
HOME TESTIMONIALS;

azinn Balm cured me vorte 3rrh which had for 9C yearns
mine Of Hay FZ4os M few doses Of Brazln Balm cured me
the best thing for dyspepsia rJadge hdTard Woot
the doctors relief began taking brazilian Balm 1888
Brazilian dcat
of /
the
weeks a H.
P,sH G b. H. H lost children with
Balm
Nely-}artop b. Dl8y, Myard, Dd
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
The Philosophy Of etiquette.

''Is 1t now considered i'll bred to take the
last biscuit off the plate" queried Richelieu
of Waggley.
swell, no, but it is decidedly unwise."
"Unwise"
Eyes; always wait a minute and they'll
bring on some hot ones!"-Detroit Free Press.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
Couldn't Rono HI~

Miss Thumpit Gausing for breathD-I fear
weary you.
Mr. HeavyweigH*-Not bit Of it play on.
can't tell one note of music from enother,--
Burllette in Brooklyn Eagle.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
A Happy Idea.
The New wa

A new steel gun has been designed for our
new steel navy. As the enemy approaches
the muzzle his attention is attracted by a
small sign, drop nirkle in the slot and sec
the gun go of.n-Burdette In Brooklyn
Eagle
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
A FREQ Climate.

"Iook here!n she exclaimed. "This is ter
rible You charge me twenty-five cents for
that card of buttons, and back east ! could
get them for ten cents"
"YeS, ma'am, but just think of the elegant
climate you get throwed in with every card
of buttons. Santa Barbara (Cal) Press.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
Clilnate and WEATHER.

A little girl in the public school the other
day, when asked by her teacher to explain
the difference between climate and weather,
replied:
Climate is what we have with us all the
time, but weather only lasts a few days
Detroit Free Press.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
Feline Acoustics.

Kitty was on the lounge, purring as loud
as she could, and Katie was coddling her.
"Oh, mamma" the little girl cried all at
once, "my kitty has got washbOard in her
throat and can feel the noise rub over it,
Youths Companion.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
Sprung a Lenk.

Why, Bobby" said his mother, "what are
you looking ut papa so fOrr
Bobby-Well, pop just drank some coffee
out of his saucer, and its made his mustache
leak, and l didn't know whether to tell him
or not-New York Evening Sun.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
After His MnnI.

Mr.. Clnfr (who is going to have his hair
cutl-Whadier want, chiel
His Youngest-Mammy tole me t foller yo'
down, en- cit de wool whad kims off, fer ter
stuff de sofy piller. It'd Bits.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
Oscar Prefers to Wait.

"Oscar Wilde expects to he buried in West
minister Abbey" says floating item. Well,
We are willing, Is there any reason for this
naddening delay:-Somerville Journal
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
rI,nsn "Nici,el" Machines

Bagley-I wonder why this Internal beg
gar is always waiting on the corner as come
out of the office.
Gagley-He wants You to drop a nickel so
you can see him go.-I4ife,
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
They Didn't hit

Mamma" exclaimed an enfant terrible,
after scrutinizing the face of an elderly Wis
itor for some moments, "Mr Smith amt
got but two teeth, and them don't hit.n-
Hsrper'S BazaE.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
Less Costly in Tho Long Rum.

Glow do You manage to keep your water
pipes from freezing this weather, Dobsonf
EASY enough. l have a yearly contract
with a plumber. Hartford Post
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
\ Point for Ignatius.

If Shakespeare had only known about the
Baconian cipher when he wrote his plays,
there can he no doubt that he could have
made them fit a great deal better than they
do.-Lnwell Citizen.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
His One Inhrmity.

Grafton-Awfully clever fellow, Gagley.
He might shine in society if it wasn't for his
one inhrmity.
Miss Clara-Why, always thought he was
very correct in his habits.
Crafton-Oh, yes, be is all that, you know;
but his necks so ducedly short that he always
has to wear a turn down collar.-Life.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
.nnk nnrh and Nnu.II 60. L

There is a young lady in girls school in
Georgia who goes by the nickname Of Post
script Her real name is Adalne Moore -
Burlington Free Press.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
Moral; DON'T Chew.

An exchange says that there are no mi
crobes in tobacco. That sounds reasonable
enough, but the man who drags out shingle
nail, a shoe lace and baggage check from a
five cent plug would prefer few good
healthy microbes. Nebraska State Journal.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25

VISITED Walton,
N. Y, last week, a
beautiful town in
the flank of the
Catskills, at the
head of the Della
ware. 1t was there
in that quiet and
picturesque valley
that the great phil
anthropist a n d
a m eliator, Jay
Gould, first at
tracted attention.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
OmnIln no,Ns to Gothanl.

Over SGi,OO0,ODO were invested in new
buildings in New York last year. New York
is rapidly becoming the Omaha Of the east
Omaha World
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
This Joke Is Older Than Kidd.

The spirit of Capt Kidd lately told
medium that he buried no treasure at ALL
He said he intended tn, but he paid plumb
ers bill in fit of absent mindedness. Pitts
burg Chronicle-relegraph
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
One TLnt Nerer Ciets rirea

The person who is always talking to him
self is sure to have an interested listener
Lowell Citizen.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
Consolation.

Condemned Man Ito his lawyer long
sentence, sir; to be sent to states prison for
life.
Lawyer Gnclined to more hopeful view)-
Yes, it does seem long, but tperhaps you won't
live great while.-Life.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
In the Theatre.

But why do you weep' The acting is cer-
tainly not so touching.n "Excuse me, am
bewailing the money paid to come in."-
Fliegende Blatter.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
a neHnItinn

Counsel-What is the plaintiffs attitude as
to this question: WiEless-Recumbenk
Lies about it constantly,-Tid Bits.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25

We don't know of anything that is needed
more than mince pie trust. Rochester Post
Express.
The Wilmingtonian., 1888-02-25
BILL NYE TAKES A TRIP.

He Visits the Home of Jay Gould-Niag
ara Falls Graphically Described.
On BOARD THE BOUNDING TRAIN,
LONGITUDE 800 MILES WEST
OF A GIVEN POINT
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-01
She Got Her Reward.
From the Cincinnati Time..


Potts bad just returned from an ex-
tended trip abroad and was making his
first call upon young lady friend.
MY gracious, Miss Jennie, how you
have changed Why, you are mere
shadow of your former self. Aren't you
well?"
"Well no, Mr.. Potts. You see, short
ly after your departure | joined the
cooking school, and there we are
obliged to sample everything that we
make. I am now hopeless dyspep-
tic"
How horrible! Really, l pity you
from the bottom of my heart"
"You are very kind, Mr.. Potts, but I
feel positive that | shall reap my re-
ward" and here the young lady blushed
painfully.
Reward? Really I do not compre-
hend."
Then with graceful futter Of cling
ing drapery, she crossed to his side,
gave him a 'tis-leap-year expression,
laid her left ear over his chest protector
and gently murmured:
willie, dear, | can make biscuit such
as your mother used to make"
With a wild cry of joy he took the
trembling form in his great, strong
arms. and their happiness was so in
tense that it could have been cut with a
knife
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-01
The Murphys and Milk Shakes.
From the Philadelphia Press.

From the Philadelphia Press.
The Murphys, father and son, who
have been preaching temperance IN
Pittsburg, are being rounGly abused by
some of the Pittsburg ministers because
they advocate the sale of milk on Sum
day. believing that the sobriety as well
as the comfort of workingmen are pro-
NOTED by such sale. Those who tried to
sell milk were arrested and fined and
have been obliged to give it up. So the
thirsty Pittsbul gers who have not some
thing better Or stronger at home will
have to satisfy their thirst on Sundays
as we'll as they can with warm hydrant
water, strongly favored with the crude
petroleum that the Allegheny River
brings down from the oil country and
the rehneres above Pittsburg. The
ministers and others who are offended
at the Sunday sale of milk under such
circumstances, if they had lived in
Judea eighteen centuries ago would
have been among the number of those
who rebukeG our Lord for allowing his
disciples to satisfy their hunger by
plucking the ears OF growing corn as they
passed through the fields. The Chris
tan Sabbath is very lax institution in
the eyes of those who prefer the ancient
sabbath which it supplanted and which
they are determined to perpetuate in
accordance with the severest cOnstruc-
ton of the Old Testament dispense
tiOn
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-01
To Tan and Color sheepskin.
From the Shoe and Leather Reporter.

From the Shoe and Leather Reporter.
Tan with the wool on in alum
dissolved in water. Proportions: l
pound alum to l gallon water. Then
wash wool clean with plain soap.
To color, use aniline of any shade
you desire. Dissolve pound aniline in
2 gallons water; strain before using;
then float skin in dye box, wool down.
See that they lie fiat, and let remain in
till color or shade you desire comes;
then take out and run through clear
cold water, and hang up in hot room
to dry. For plain white, wash the skins
well, after tanning as described above.
Ifnot white enough, hang up in small
room and bleach with powG cred sui
phur. Set in g pail in center of room
burning. Be careful to have no escape
of the sulphur fumes, and have the
room air-tight.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-01
The OId-cashioned Mint JuIep.
From the New York Tribune.


When you ask Tor a mint julep the
man behind the bar, if he understands
his business, will take a high glass, fill it
to the top and heap it with shaved ice,
on two sides between the glass and the
ice he will insert slice of fresh orange,
and between these ne will place a slice
of pineapple or some other kind of fruit
On top he will drop few berries; and
in the center he places a sprig of mint,
which stands up like miniature Christ
mas tree. To this he adds a thimbleful
of lemon syrup. He takes another glass
and breaks up in small pieces sprig OF
two Of peppermint. He will fill this
half full OF cracked ice and measure out
about gill OF cognac brandy and add a
dash of Santa Cruz or Medford rum.
Over this he will place shaker and
shake Thoroughly to get it to compound
and get the flavor out of the mint.
Some use muddler for this, but they do
not get the flavor out of the mint. He
places strainer over the top and strains
it in over the contents of the glass he
has previously prepared, and then if
you don't think you are slpping the nee
tar of the gods your tasting apparatus is
blunt indeed
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-01
Ships in New York Bay.
From the New York Commercial Advertise

From the New York Commercial Advertiser.
The shipping in this port on July 7th
comprised 66 steamships, SO sailing
ships. 112 barks, SO brigs and $50 schOon-
ers, not including host of coasting, To-
cal and pleasure crafts. A glance at the
list of imports and exports for three days
will enable one to form an idea of what
these vessels bring and take away.
A bark from Antwerp brought 6,464
empty barrels and quantity of spiegel-
eisen; a schooner from the Bahamas
brought 1850 dozen pineapples; a
steamer fromBaracoa brought cargo of
bananas; bark from Barbados and an
other from Caibrien brought cargoes of
sugar; bark from Bilboa brought l 900
ton OF iron ore; a steamer from Cam
peachy brought logwood, hemp, hides,
cigars, coffee, lemons and other
fruits; steamer from Ceara
brought rubber, nuts and coffee;
ship from Chittagong brought a
cargo of jute; ship from Hull, thou
sand tons of chalk; bark and a brig
from Gnautaumo, cargoes of sugar;
schooner from Laguwa, mahogany and
cocoa-nuts; steamers from Liverpool
and London, soda, mustard, tin, tea and
general merchandise; bark from Mar
seilles, olive oil, ochre, marble and dis
filled water; steamer from Palermo,
lemons and other fruit; scboon-
er from Matanzas, sugar; bark
from Plymouth, china clay;
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-01
Fall Shades in Millinery.

From the Millinery Trade Review.
The syndicate Of Paris manufacturers
have adopted the following as among
the leading colors for the coming sea-
son:
Emeraude-a deep, rich, emerald
green.
Scarabee-a dark, yellowish green.
Couroncou-a shade lighter than scar
abee.
Peupliere-a shade lighter than cou-
roncou.
Nil "a light watery green.
Couquelicot-a rich, blood red.
Cardinals dark scarlet.
Boulanger-a bright, live blood red.
Bouton dora golden yellow.
Mais-a straw yellow.
Volcano reddish terra Gotta.
Alezan-a dark, reddish brown.
Pactole-a light, golden brown.
Oxide-a dark slate.
Lionceau-a dark fawn.
Heron-a gray drab.
Luciole-a gend' arme blue.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-01
hike the Light WeiQhts

Of the procession pugilistic, the kidneys are
small but active in state of health. Their Sc
cretion contains impurities productive of rheu
matiSm govt and dropsy if allowed to remain
When they are inactive, the blood becomes
choked with animal debris capable of destroying
lie. To promote their activity when sluggish
with Hostetter's Stomach Bitters, is not only tc
guard against the diseases mentioned, but tc
prevent the fatty degeneration and ultimate de-
struct1on of the organs by those exceedingly
dangerous maladics-Brights disease and dia-
betes Activity of the bladder also insures IL
against the formation of gravel which 1t some
times requires one of the most dangerous and
painful operations in surgery to remove. Gravel,
moreover is most agoniZing complaint. The
Bitters further commend themselves by remedy
ing constipation, dyspepsia debility, liver COM
plant aud nervousness, and nullity influences
productive of malarial disease
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-01
Cured Of Malaria.
% FLORIDA ST., ELIZABETH,
\

~ FLORIDA ST., ELIZABETH n. j.,
March II, 1884
l have been using ALLCoCK's Porous
P1AsTERs for the last five years. Some
two years ago, after having been sick for
upward Of six months with malaria,
found myself with an enlarged spleen,
dyspeptic, and constantly troubled with
headache, and my kidneys did not act
very well either. Having spent most Of
my money for medicine and medical adj
vice, I thought, to save expense, I
would use ALLCoCK's Porous PLAs-
TIERS, two on the small of my back, one
on the spleen or ague cake, and one on
the pit of the stomach, just under the
breastbone. l continued using the Pl&s-
tiers about thirty days, changing them
every week. At the end of that time was
perfectly well, and have remained SO ever
since. GEORGE DIXON
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-01
Encounter with an Alligator.

From the Gainesville Fla Advocate
L. W. Jackson lost some cattle day
or two ago, and started out to hunt
them, accompanied by his dog. In
hunting around they came across an i'm
mense alligator, but as his 'gatorship
was engaged In watching some calves,
he did not notice Mr.. Jackson and his
party Che having been joined by two
1riends.) Mr.. Jack sons dog not being
very well up in the gator business
commenced the attack at once. AS
soon as his 'gatorship could change his
mind from calves to dog he made II
sweep with his tail that brought the ca
nine around to his business end, and
before the dog had time to think of his
past, made a snap that would have end
ed his career then and there,
but the gator miscalculated
his distance, and instead Of
taking the whole dog, tail and all, he
got his tail only. The dog being thus
freed, started on a home-run; but the
gator wanted dog if he could not get
calf and therefore started after him.
rolling over and over. This method of
became disguised, and made such good
time that the gator gave it up, end
turned his attention to his human enc
mics. They in their turn armed them
selves with fence rails, and then the
fight was fast and furious The gator
would take the rails between his teeth
and crunch them as if he enjoyed them
as a diet. TO vary the exercises he
would snatch rail and sweep it round
over that section of the country, max
ing his assailants give him plenty of
room. Finally, after terrible struggle,
he was forced to 60 where all gators so
and hunt calves and dogs no more.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-01

ship from Rotterdam, bitters,
mineral water and empty barrels; a
steamer from Newfoundland, Goldfish
and Holsters; several schooners from
Nova Scotia, seals, lath and lumber; sew
eral steamers, brigs, barks and schoon-
ers from Trinidad and other West In
dian ports, sugar and molasses and 9TH
er tropical products; steamers from Ant
werp, Bremen and Glasgow, whisky,
chemicals, hardware and sundries;
steamers from Rio Janeiro, coffee and
hides. The coasters also brought cotton
from the south and lumber from down
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-01
The Order Changed.
From Lone on Punch.

Iodeson (who has grown his mus
tache, dropped his g's and got into So
Getty agaln-Fact is, society is gettin'
too much mixed, Duchess. It's not
amusin', after spendin' pleasant even
IN to find you've been hobnobbin' with
shopkeeper or sittin' next his wife at
dinner. you know
her Grace-O, dear me! Why, my
husband'sa shopkeeper, Mr.. Todeson.
he keeps that great bric-a-brac ware
house IN Conduit Strickland the toy
shop at the corner, that's mine-and the
con1ectloner over the way, that's my
mother, the Duchess of Hautcastle
Iodeson feels that he has been putin
his foot in it.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-08-01
THE CADETS ROMANCE.

BY LIEUT.. W. B. GORDON.
And the button will depart
From the region of his neart,
And insist
That Its business is to dan2le
From a lovely little bangle
At her wrist.
And a golden sword you'll note
In the laces at her throat
Neatly placed,
and their monograms entwined
On breasl plate you Will find
At her waist.
BY and by the maid will smile
Sweetly on some other lille -
Then a fuss
And he II meet and pass her by,
While she sadly wonders why
This is thus.
Then she'll tell a bitter tale,
Shed a tear and sadly rail
At her fate.
But in spite of any wranele,
She will hold last 10 the bangle,
And the plate.