Griggs courier., 1888-09-07
PuNoENr PARAGRAPHS.

IT'S pity that the dude can't DO
allowed the woman's privilege Of
changing his mind. Perhaps if he were
he might possibly make swap for one
that was occasionally good for some
thing.-7ournal of Education.
The reason why so many old families
die out is because the younger ones have
not bee sense enough to swarm. They
want to stay together and live on each
other until they all starve.-N o. Pica-
yvne.
-she-"Ralph, why did you send
me a little red flag to-day!' Ralph "a
rejected and detected suitor)-'I beg
you will wear it as a signal of danger.
You know, would not like to see the
other fellows suffer as do now."-
Life.
Young man," he said. solemnly.
"what would you think if should put
an enemy into my mouth to steal away
my brains?" II would Chic) think.
SIR" hic-coughed the young man,
''that you were going to an unneces-
sary expense" ~ Y. Sun.
With $5O0,00O represented in a
single dog show this country has no
reason to be discouraged. Twenty years
from now we shall be worth many mill
ions in dogs, though we may possibly
lose few sheep.-LouiSriWe Courier
Journal.
An article is going the rounds Of
the papers headed: How to Select /.
Wife, Its rules are very scientific
and interesting, but when young man
falls in love he doesn't ponder over
rules. He just shuts both his eyes tight
and grabs frantically in the dark
Son1erriNe Journal.
Prospective on-in-law-"M Modern
custom justities me in asking you how
much you are going to give Your daugh-
ter in case we marry?" Prospective
er-in-law-''Yes, and modern GUS
tom justities me in asking you how
many of your debts you expect to pay
with my money. ."-7enas 'Sylings.
Mrs. Chilsley-" see statistics
show that fortytive per cent. of male
criminals are unmarried" Mr. Chils-
ley-"Which shows how many men
prefer the penitentiary to matrimony." "
And the ensuing silence was so deep
that Mrs. Chilsley could hear herself
reflect. "-Puck.
els it becoming tome?' she asked.
as she paraded in the costume OF one
hundred years ago before her husband.
"Yes, my DEAR" said he, meekly.
Don't you wish l could dress in this
fashion always?" mo, my dear; but
l wish," he added musingly, you had
lived when that was the style"
-Lightning-rod agent (to boy): lis
that your father lying there in the
shade, sonny?' Boy-"No, sir; pas
away, an me and ma is the only ones
at home; that's dead book agent
Dye want to sell ma any thing?'
Thunder, MOI" said the lightning-rod
man.
The day will come in this country
when the man who carries a cane
under his arm and the man who car.
ries an umbrella on his shoulder, will
be taken out and hit with a squash
and hit hard enough to kill. Then the
woman with the baby cart wants te
look out.-DctroW Free Press.
Long haired Stranger. MY friend
don't you believe in the grand Ole
maxim that Honesty is the best policy?
Citizen-'Well. l didn't use to- sir
but now that I have accumulated 6
snug fortune and retired from business
I'm beginning to think there's some
thing in it. An honest man. stranger
is very noble work indeed. "-Iimc
According to the Republican, {
Springfield market man sent an order
to a farmer in a neighboring town fol
some chickens, but neglected to state
whether the fowls should be shipped
alive or dressed Not being ''up' OF
current literature, he was rather sur
prised to receive postal the next day
on which was written: .'The quick OF
the dead?"
-"Why, Bilbeck." said Singlemar
to friend in a restaurant, II though
you went to housekeeping a week ago
and now find you here taking YOU
meals?" 'Yes, said Bilbeck, garnish
ing fried oyster with ketchup, ''two
days after we commenced housekecp
ing our cook was taken sick. and m,
wife has been filling her place, and yol
know she took lessons at cookin:
school. .'-Drake's Maya.ine.
Toilet Recipes of Ancient Egypt.