The Russellville Democrat. [volume] (Russellville, Ark.) 1875-1898, 1888-04-26
SOME WITTY ANSWERS.
of Law.


of Law.
Our courts of law have furnished US
at various times with very witty and
amusing remarks. lawyers and prison
ers alike being guilty on this score.
Doubtless every one has heard of the
Irishman who. in reply to the ques-
ton: Guilty. or net guiltyP" said 'he
would like to hear the evidence before
he would plead. :" A magistrate in
another case was dealing with IA va.
grant and in severe tone addressed
him thus: '!You have been up before
me half dozen times this year."
thereby giving him to understand that
he had appeared too often on the
scene. The prisoner, however. was
equal to the occasion, for he replied:
Come, now judge-none of that
Every time I've been here I've seen
you here, You are here more than
am. People who live in glass houses
shouldn' throw stones"
Curran, the Irish advocate. was one
day examining a witness. and, failing
to get q direct answer, said: There
b is no use in asking you questions. for
see the villain in your face" do
you, sirP' said the man, with smile.
',Faix, / never knew before that my
face was a looking glass; On an
other occasion he was out walking
with friend who was extremely
punctilious in his conversation. The
latter, hearing a person near him say
curiosity for curiosity. exclaimed;
"How that man murders the English
languagep' 'Not so bad as that" re.
piled Curran; ''he has only knocked
an out!'
Prisoner at the bar" said Judge,
''is there any thing you would wish to
say before sentence is passed upon
youP" The prisoner looked toward
the door. and remarked that he would
like to say Good evening. if it was
agreeable to the company"
II remember" says Lord Eldon,
MIR. Justice Gould trying case at
York. and when he had proceeded for
about two hours he observed; Hero
are only eleven iuryInen in the box;
where is the twelfth?' Please you.
my lord, said one of the eleven, 'he
has gone away about some business;
but lie has left his verdict with me. y
This is almost on par with case
tried in one of the Lancashire courts,
when SERGEANT Cross was resident
barrister in that county. The jury.
having consulted and agreed upon
their verdict, were addressed by the
clerk of the peace; How say you,
gentlemen of the jury; do you find
for the plaintiff or the defendaut'"
What sayn yo? dunnot under
stand" said the foreman.
"Why as you have decided, all !
want TO know is whe ether your verdict
is for the plaintiff or the defendant"
The foreman was still greatly en-
barrassed; but he replied; 'Whoy. l
rally dunnot know, but we're for him
as Mester Cross is for"
Lord Cockburn's looks. tones. Ian
guage and manner were always such
rs to make one think that he believed
every word he said. On one occasion,
before he was raised to tho
bench. when defending murder
er although he failed to convince
the Judge and iurymen OF the inno-
cence OF his client, yet he convinced
the murderer himself that he was in
nooent Sentence of death was pro-
nounced, and the day OF execution
fixed for say. the 20th of January As
Lord Coekburn was passing tho con-
domned man. the latter seized him
by the gown, saying: "a have not
got justice, Mr Cock burn i hayo not
got Justice. To this the advocate
ooolly replied; Perhaps not; but
you II get it on the 20 h of January"
Chambers Journal.