Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1888-09-19
] nArrY STRIVES

AExy 8Ax1NeUs
| ~ enough Il you hsvs passing 20
QuainAAacs With arailroad man. ~ WdsA-
js0t0st Critic.
! Bio HEAD u the name Of . prominent
Sioux chief. II il his 6iOux-de-nym, -
II were. Harpers Basar.
II II sometimes necessary to get
/ round man II you wish 70 get square
with him. --LotCei Citizen.
THE man who buys cheap watch
| generally gets . good deal OF time for
very little money. -SomerUihe Jour-
nal.
The expression ~Awl work and no
!, play makes Jack dull boy" probably
originated with . shoemaker. Boston
Bulletin.
A WESTERN boy ran for Congress
when he was only fourteen years old.
He was page in the House. - Yonkers
Statesman.
/ "I'N float! I'm . foat!" sang Mr..
/ Dudekins. @You are certainly light
enough for one, retorted Miss Barkins,
soto voce. Harper's Bazar.
| MAN is in hest condition for labor
when he il fresh from rest, but the
| wagon wheel is in its best condition
when il is tired. - Boston Courier.
Mrs. Ethel, it is not at
al becoming to you to Be continually
gazing out Of the window. Miss
Thomaso- No, mamma but it's becom-
ing to the house. Time.
Mrs. YEAsT-Do you buy your eggs
at Shortcounts? Mrs. Bacon Why,
certainly; his eggs can't be beat. I
know it; that's the reason / don't think
they're good. - Yonker Statesman.
PROSECUTING ATTORNEY Collecting q
iury)--Isnt the prisoner . relative Of
yours mo, sir; he is . relative Of my
! wife. Prosecuting Attorney Your
Honor, the prosecution accepts the gem
tleman. --Ne,U York Sun.
Mrs. PoPINJoY-S Socrates, why don't
you say something to Angelina about
setting up SO late with young Posey-
boy? Mr.. Popinjoy-Me? Why, I
rather like it. II saves worrying about
burglars. Burlington Free Press
A LITTLE pamphlet, called "Humour
in Ye Sixteenth Century" showed that
We joker Of that period borrowed great
deal Of his wit from We humorist Of We
nineteenth century without giving q
particle of credit. -No,r'isto,cn Her
aid
my poor man." said woman who
had given some breakfast to tramp,
"you eat slowly and in evident pain.
Ill
tramp, Il had to sell the gold filling in
my teeth last week for food or starve.'
Epoch.
Mr.. PERCY SILvERToN (who has had
his highly-valued though unpromising
mustacke removed-See, Julie. / have
had my mustache cut of! Miss Julie
Styles (his fiance) oh, pshaw why did
you tell me? wanted to find it out
myself = Puck.
A MASSACHUSETTS, man thought that
he was going to die because he heard
music like angels singing in his sleep
every night. When he found out that
it was snoring he feshed up thirty
pounds and let his life policy run out.
Burlington Free Press.
FATHER has such q happy DISPOSE
ton, Mr.. Sampson, she said, as the
front gate slammed and the old man
came up the walk. "Do you hear him
whistlingF" "Yes," responded Mr..
Sampson, nervously, "and the chances
are that he will arouse the dog."-Ner
York Sun.
MOTHER (appealingly)-Alec, please
do not put your foot out that way. You
might get hurt. Johnny positively
Alec, take your foot in. Do you want
mamma to have to buy coffin and
funeral, when you know she wants
new refrigerator SO badly -Harpes's
Bazaar.
~BE my wife" he implored, "be my
wife, my adored one. See! have had
my life insured for $4,000 in your
favor" and he Aourished the policy in
the air. She pondered moment, then
raising her large and lustrous orbs to
his she said: Before give yc. an an
swer would like to know the state of
your health BOSTON Budget
MRS. STEINAERaET Cat window above)
What on earth has kept you out until
this time O night, John? Rudesheimer
Steinberger-Sh! my dear been playin'
chess Wiser boys. Glorioush sheriesh O
games am Mrs. Steinberger- Well,
I'll try to believe you tonight; notice
you've been trying to initiate the
Knights moves all over the sidewalk
since you got to the door.-Puck.
She was girl from Holly, N. j., and
she had mouth which attracted gen.
eral attention. As she leaned against
the railing and watched the breakers
she suddenly exclaimed: 20, James;
but how grand! Seems as il ! could
open my mouth and take it al in!"
But you won't, will you?" entreated q
boy who stood by. MA and have
come 800 miles to see the ocean, and
we don't want to lose it the first day ?"
Detroit Free Press.
THE BABY ANARCHIST.
Around tho house all day he goes,
BY baby fanciss led;
He sometimes stands upon his toes.
And sometimes ON his head.
He takes the flower pot and all,
And puts II In his lap
He spiils the syrup In the hall
This naughty little chap
Your silk umbrella, spick and span,
He sticks IN deep rat holes;