The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1888-05-02
The Bewildering Result of His Rash
ness...Lent Gives Time for Choos-
ing observation-disclosures
shin in Society,"

snip III o0ciety
Did you ever 90 a-shopping with a
girl? No? Well, then your life IL
useless waste--not one Of those "waist-
places" which, it is said. q broad-cloth-
enveloped masculine arm will make
glad, but a regular old Arizona alkali
waste. have been, have gone. ]
have veni-vidi-ed, and very nearly got
vici-ed. I went the other day with a
typical Chicago damsel, and ali, lawsey
mesy, hut it was fun!
Tripping like fairy, or sunbeam,
or fiy-up-the-creek, from store to
shop, from milliners to matua makers.
Pattering and puttering to and fro
amid prismatic labyrinths Of man-dis.
tracing fabrics aud incomprehen-ible
wares. Gliding hther aud thither
away over yonder. Holding mysteri-
Gus discussions in whispers over UNI
numbered nameless flubdubberles.
Chattering across counters with pale
eyed and blue-nectied exguisites in re-
gard to quality, style, finish, durability
and price OF hundred do.funny arti-
cles. such as no well-reeulated bache-
lor's optics ever beheld. Strange inn
plements of torture, relics of the ioqui-
sition, compounden of stee! and whale
bone, eyelet-holes aud cords, resembling
the straight jackets used in hopeless
cases oflunacy; cigar-shsped wire-gauze
cushions of propellors, and tiny birds
nests of metal and muslin in pairs, that
palpitate to the touch; all utterly beyond
my power to imagine what they are
for or where they go. Inspecting bot
tlecork-heel shoes, in which Diana Of
Ephesus or the Venus de Medici would
hobbIe like lame cow or frosted-toed
chicken.
Darling here and there and every
where, a d, zen cross.eyed ways at once.
Bothering statesmen, Grazing saleswom-
ell. Tumbling and mussing the won
drous products of every loom aud ma
ton. Stirring around in endless mass
es of SCATTERING rainbows. Marvelling
at loug-hsnd silk and cotton gloves,
with barber-poie stripes and no place
for fingers. Pricing astounding little
twisty-rimmed top-knots, struggling to
be seen through dense thickcts of flo
raj and vegetable monstrosities, min
yled with ornithologIcsl atrocities.
Rumaging among acres of yellow cali
co pinks and peacock-blue bu,h.rose4.
Gloaling over whole aviaries of dead
s0ngsters of the groves and forests,
slaughtered as victims of wOman's van.
ity. Matching heliotrOpe or cardinal
or moon-on-the-lake plumes with rib
bons and daisies. Opening, fiuttering
and shutting gilt-spangled and feath-
cry edged airy nOthings known IA fans,
of which IA million would not be worth
a palm leaf for ali practical purposes,
but invaluable in flirtatiOns and first
class faintipg tableaux.
Sauntering into establishments whose
horrifying array fscalps-bllck, white,
brown, poetic golden and spun SUI.
shine, gray aud flaming red-to repair
the ravages of crimpin g-irons and poi
sonous dyes, would make a Kickapoo
or Sioux braves fierce eyes dance with
ecstatic admiration. Thumblng lace
dubbed haudkerchiefs,
though no more fit for sensible bur |
nishers than they are for table cloths
or wagon cOvels. CHANGING at the gid |
dy swells VITO attitudniza as tailors'
dummies and chew cloves ON all the !
crowded corners. Trying kid gloves |
made of cat rat, dog and squirrel skins.
Examining liliputian gold watches,
cendlestick fine, full
iaweled with hickory shoe-pega and |
small gravel, aud warranted 10 run |
three hours to any ordinary cathedral
clocks one, regardless of size or conse-
quences. Fumbling with peck baskets
of canoes, pearls, amethysts and dia-
monds, all paling their Intellectual fires
before the radiant eyes OF my fair and |
lovely pilot and communicates. And |
finally purchasing spool Of thread, a |
paper of pins, and a package of cara
mels, for which put up the cash! An, |
luckless wight, who have never have |
been on such round, just see and i'm.
agine what you have missed.
Do you ask why she was out shop.
ping in the Lenten season? Preposter-
Gus question. Are YOU a man of ma
ture yeers and sense, aud do you de-
mand a reason for anything "A girl does,
or may do, especially a Chicago girl?
If she had thousand reasons, if rea-
sons were a. plenty on her tongue ~
bees in buckwheat patch or lgnora-
muses. in Congress, she would give you
none except "because" and that ought
to satisfy any and every masculine in
vestigator or interrogation. What cares !
she for Lent? She is heather any
how, and the sacred forty days and for
~ nights are to her only time given BY
"A gracious Providence To pick out an |
Easter bonnet aud all the concomita |
Of gorgeous plumage. Ii is simply a |
breathing SPILL that the Christian |
world-whch does not include Chica-
90 or Washington-tlkes between the |
balls, routs, suppers and catgut music,
the theaters, operas aud wild frivolities
and deviltries of winter, and the yacht |
ina 81 hand