St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-01-14

steal"
Certainly we have: but no burglar is
going to enter house where he knows
that the owner stands ready to shoot
the top of his head off. Don't you
worry about burglars. They all know
me, and know enough to keep away
from me-"
A week ago the house next to us was
entered and despOiled, and next day |
begged Mr.. Bowser for heavens sake to
get an alarm connected with our doors
and windows.
TO scare burglars away?" he ex-
claimed in the key of G. ''Not much.
Let 'em come in. want 'em inside.''
And you-yOu would capture them?"
"Never a capture! The burglar who
gets into my house dies there! The
coroner may come and sit on that body.
but it will be lump of lifeless clay"
And you won't get an alarm?"
mo ma'am. I'll bring home shot
gun and a base ball bat, but just to COM
fort you. Nature has given me all the
weapons l want against burglars.
Then Mr.. BOwSer crossed his hands
under his cOat-tails and walked up and
down in such a self-satisfied way that |
took courage, says the Detroit Free
Press. Next day he brought home the
gun and the club, and as he deposited
them at the head of the bed he ex-
plained:s
Its simply to give you more con-
fidence; understand? For my part I'd
give $500 to find burglar in my house."
That night, soon after midnight, l
heard something fall in the house, and
nudged MIR. Bowser into wakefulness
and told him of it.
Its that Internal old cat!" he growled
brain, and hope one will cOme!'
Ten minutes passed. and l was sure I
heard some one creeping upstairs. l
nudged Mr.. BOwSer again and told him
so. but he replied:
Mrs. Bowser, if you wake me up
again Ell go down town to sleep the re-
mainder of the night You can be a
Iunatic OH shorter notice than anybody
ever heard Of! Now, go to sleep and
~
The reason he stopped there was be-
cause dark lantern was flashed in our
faces, and stern voice exclaimed:
IF either one of you make move to
get up I'll blow your brains Out!"
whose blood Mr.. BowSer was hungering
for, stood over US. The midnight
marauder, on whose lifelesS clay the
coroner was to sit,
WAS READY TO BE ''soT'' ON.
confess was badly frightened, but
L did not lose my senses. / knew he
was there to rob, and that he had all
the advantage, and did not move
: finger.
"Come, old chap" continued the
burglar after moment, 81 want your
services. Get out of thatH'
Take all we have, but spare our
lves!" pleaded Mr.. Bowser.
'vrhat's what Pm going to do, old
up your weaIthr'
With that he lighted the gas, sat down
on the edge of the bed, and Mr.. Bowser
brought him both our watches, all our
jewelry, and the $500 hidden in the
dresser. [ never saw MIR. BOwser so
I Obliging and thoughtful. He even rum
mayed the dresser to find my last rhine
stone pin, and he said ives. SIR" and
mo, sir,' to that burglar with the great
est respect. When everything of value
upstairs had been collected, the man
said:
''Now. old double-shins, wrap that
swag in towel and bring it downstairs
for me-"
you won't kill himsn gasped.
''NO, marin; l haven't the time to
spare for that. What's that gun and
club fOr?''
"To defend ourselves from burglars.
l wish knew how to Shoot
EXACTLY. marin, and | admire your
spunk. Here's your watch and jewely
back. and l hope you'll pardon this in
trusiOn. Sorry you've got such an old
funk for husband, but divorces cost
money. Come along, old shingles!'
Mir. BOwser meekly followed him down
stairs, got out all our choice silver from
the safe, found him basket to carry of
his plumber, and was then driven up
stairs, while the burglar made off. Mr..
Bowser got into bed without word,
and / sat up and listened until I heard
the rascal 90. Then 1 said:
"Well, Mr.. Bowser, you wanted bur-
glars. We've had real live one, and
the house is cleaned out"
"And who's to blame for it? Mrs.
Bowser. l didn't believe you would
ever dare speak to me again!'
'Who's to blame? Am I?''
s'WhO else can be? Here for forty
successive nights you've kicked me
awake from two to ten times to whisper
'BurglarsH into my ear! You got me
off my guard"
''But told you heard a burglar in
the house."
DuG hHcW UcClcT! IL was your
business to have been awake sooner.
the gun. All! if | could have got that
gun!"
'But you never even protested"
''Protested! Protested! Do you think
man of my standing is going to handy
words with burglar? My action was
taken with view to save your life.''
''Well, let's go down and see what's
left.'
Not an inch would he move until day
light, and before we got up he promised
me a silk dress not to mention the affair.
No sooner had he swallowed his break
fast, however, than he posted off to
police headquarters and the newspapers,
and the result was that a column ar
ticle, with the heads:
Terrific Fight for Llfe-A Burglar
Catches a Tartar-A Midnight Visitor
, Flung Through the Window Faint
ing Wife and a Cool Husband"
''Mr. BOwser, did you tell 'em any
such yarn as this?' l asked him, after
reading the account.
Yarn! Mrs. Bowser, do you know
who you are talking to?''
but you never offered the least re-
sistance, and you even suffered him to
call you nameS!'
II did, ell? You. lying there in a
dead faint, knew all that went on. eh9
Very we'll, Mrs. BOwser; I'll send the
doctor UP to examine into your mental
condition. The strain has probably been
too much OH you. Poor woman! Poor
WOmanc'
Told Of COuldOck.
Chicaoo JOurnaI