Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1888-02-29
For the SPECTATOR.
For the SPECTATOR.
The Squirrel Problem. Th0rnrOse Gene
tery-The Tanker Annual Confer

The Squirrel Problem. ThOrnrOse Gene
tery-The Tunker Annual Confer
ence, &e.
We took occasion, Mr. E., since sending it to
you, to ask some of our friends what they
thought of the "seemingly insignifcant'squir-
| rel problem, which appeared in late issue OF
the SPECTATOR.
| We first went (as we suppose, in perplexity,
all lucky men do) to our better-half. who. with
| woman's characteristic promptness and de-
cision, replied "Why, the man went round
| the squirrel, then the squirrel also at the same
| time went round the man."
| Next-a distinguished professor replied: Il
say emphatically, the man did not go round
| the squirrel
A learned Judge, gravely replied: ut GER
| tainly seems the man did not 60 round the
squirrel"
One of the ablest lawyers we ever heard
plead, replied {: 1.-THE stern logic of 1t all Is,
| that as the man, beyond all question, passed
| around the tree, he passed round what was In
the tree, and hence he passed around the
squirrel"
A brilliant, youthful aspirant for fame at
| the bar, who may yet command listening
Senate, gracefully replied: "Assuredly. my
| friend the man did not 60 round the squirrel"
A veteran hunter, who, 1t seems. ought TO
| know unhesitatingly replied mo, the man
didn't go round the squirrel, because If he had
| done so, he could have shot him.
A prominent railroad official, welding an
| immense and intricate business, replied: 81
say he did not go round the squirrel
One wearing the sacerdotal garb, pious
| man of God replied "As each faced the other,
the man went not round the squirrel"
A physician of high rank 1--WE never knew
whether that term meant excellence for killing
or curing) replied mo matter If the squirrel
did turn with the man or not, the latter GER
tainly went round the former"
A distinguished clerk lit is known that
clerks as class by virtue of their occupation
are the most concise and correct of business
mem replied: ST tried often In my boyhood,
but always failed to get round one."
The principal of public school in the county,
replied: LAS the relative position OF the man
and the squirrel remains unchanged, he does
not in one sense go round the squirrel, but as
he went round the tree, he also went round
what was in the tree.''
So Mr.. Editor, when doctors differ, what is
to become of the poor patient? If the knowing
ones don't know, who does? If people differ so
widely in little things, is it strange that they
finally. humanity speaking. how short is the
step between the real knowledge of the w1sest
and the weakest of mankind?
From the number buried here in Thornrose,
since the beginning of this month. we must
conclude that the mortality among our fellow
citizens. during February, has been fearful
Almost every day, one or more of deaths vic
Tins have been laid away in this fast filing
up city of the dead. And what is remarkable,
with little exception, those who died. were
persons of, and beyond the middle age of life.
We learn that there was in Staunton to-day
an informal meeting of three of the five mem
bers constituting the Committee on Location
for the great assembly of the German Baptist
or TINKER Church for next year QsS9).
The question, as to the location of the place
of meeting is yet a wholly undetermined one.
In all probability it will be the largest assem-
blage of persons ever convened or witnessed in
the Valley of Virginia.
Some eight years ago, the writer attended
one of these annual Conferences. held near the
village of Broadway, in Rockingham Co.,
where, on the day spoken of,the crowd was es-
timated to be anywhere between fifteen and
twenty five thousand persons. There is every
reason to believe that the coming meeting
next year, will be much larger one.
We would be glad to see it located here at
Stanton. 1t would doubtless tax, to some
extent, our hospitality, but it would bring and
distribute thousands and thousands of dollars
throughout this entire community. as well as
richer blessings to the Church and saints here
below in our mldst.