Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1888-01-28
Ellie nrspoys1RI1rrY.

Won flat if YOU ever showed your face
here again it would go pretty hard with
youl
Culprit-Yes, yer Honor, but begorrs,
| cuadcnt help it. It's the polIcemans
iault, not mine.
TIE roASTs WE'RE SOBER.
Club man (who was out of town the
dav before)-Ah, Jones, me boy, were
there many toasts drunk at the banquet
last night!
Jones Slightly rocky)-No, but every
body else was Washington Critic.
LOGICAL ANSWER.
Wife (wlo prides herself on being sch
sii,Icl-John, do You notice how easy
fitting my new shoes are
IIusband-Ies.
Wifc-Well, DO you know Why l get
nv shoes 50 large!
Husband (iust Il trifle nOnplussed)
Fro. my Il ar, unless it is because
.sI have large f'gt.-EPo't.
WE'LL QUALIFIED.
l'Hmb,r It, applicant lor vr..-
10 90 -. t|.. yea. tI+a o.. N.l
Applicant : VAS making aE ...- ."-
al icgman all summer, and --
Plumbpr-InaU 5 enough. lou may
consider yourself engaged for the Win
ter.
: A HOME THRUST.
Charlie what makes you look
SO made
|, Papa,-I heard Mamma scolding you
because you were so bad
Suppose / was to get mad every time L
heard Mamma Seeding you, ehi
BREAKFAST PREPARATIONS.
Old man Calling down the stairs to
daughter) -Cara 3.
Daughter-Yes, papal.
OH Man-Ask tlSlt young man in the
parlor which he prefers for breakfast,
milk rolls or Vienna bread.
n, &c DoCroRIye. "a
Wife, am SO worried about that
cough of yours, John, dear. a.
Husband tfondly)-Don'tbe foolis!,,
! little ne; it is mere nothing.
! Wife-It may he a mere nothing,
John; but / do wish you would see the
10 insurance man to-day. Y. Sun.
GAHIN AND LADY.
Z An elegantly attired woman got out
| of car ut Twenty-third street yesterday
| afternoon, aud on reaching the side
walk this conversation between her and
little female street gamin was heard:
"Please buy some pins, lady," The
elegant dressed ones gruff response wa:
] "No."
Duii.tle one persisted. "Pleasc
I'D the girl said: az
ngive lie penrwi'
IA girl while picking blac
act a black bear among I
She turned to run, and tore h
keSs on brier SO rs to expose her po
II eht wire hustle. The bear, mistahir
| tue hustle for II circus cage, struck f
S the ;all timber, leaving the girl to {
= without hugging until dry goods Gle,
closed his store at o'clock the ne,
evening -R@giIo Meas.
HOPELESS CASE. e.
Omaha Man Tin Salt Lake hotel.
new found friend)-Whatl Not goii
yet, / hope. It's only half past s. :
I New Found Friend-I must. woul
catch the old Harry if 1 didn't get hon
before 8.
"Oh, come, now, be man. Stand /,
Tor your rights. Catch me COINS hon
till | feel like it" 80
Yes, but you have only one wife [
fight. '-Om4ia HgrH.
! go LENDING =
| Wife Ito unhappy husband)-I woul
not worry, John; IL doesn,tstlo any 200
to borrow trouble.
Husband-Borrow trouble2 Gres
Scott, my dear. L aintborrowin trouble
I've got it to lend. k
A HEARTLESS MAN.
can never be anything more to yol
than sister, Mr.. .Neyins," said Mis-
kaloncs, with mockihg smile.
l. = Belinda, said the young man bitter
~, as he took his ,hat, walked to the doc
with a SLOW, despairing, Henry Georg,
movement and stood on the threshold ,
moment, tyou win live,.to regret this
IHl song 70 open a large candy stor'
30, Leonidas l., Leonidas | an
yours J" But she spoke to the empt,
or! 1t was forever too late. He has
gone Chicago Tribune. !.
81 KANSAS ZEPHYR.
There's quite breeze sprung ur
withlnA the last half hour said Kan.
-sas man as he came into the house,
S"Ihe roof has gone off the Court House
and the Episcopal's steeple has Just now
rolled by" -
Has Dave Johpsoa's anvil blown; ouit
OF his shop yet and tuinbled pasti' said
his wife. tf4a fAEs TIE
N"No; northere hasn't drop of water
bldTn out of our new fifty foot we'll yet,
| either.% -
'That'sSlst the way it is" con inued
d. = ''anl I'll never take any more
stoch Ia tine prophecies of the Western
bureau Here far the last forty-eight
hours It has been predicting high wind
for to-day, and after all it is eompara-
tivdy calm. Mary Jane, go right ahead
n'thang out the washing While i rig up
the baby and take him out Md md sire
him little airing. Chicago Tribune.
Watched by Mysterious Visitor.
A Boston Letter in the Providence