The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1888-06-23
PuNosNT PARAGRAPHS.

IA friend In need" is doubtless .
good institution. but too many Needy
friends keeps fellow continually
brokc.-7Ae Colonel
"A man who exercises a profound
influence over the Gar is Ivan OF Cron-
stadt. hermit priest. who is SAID 70
perform miracles and whom the Gar
frequently visits in his monsstic CELL
odd man (at the head of the stairs)
Hasn't that yonng man gone YET
Clarap" Daughter-'No. papa; are
we disturbing you?' Old man-"fes;
the silence down there is oppressive.
IN. Y. Sun.
"A New York physician says that
the guillotinc is the most comfortable
death. Every doctor should have one
in his Office and thereby save his pa
tients much suffering. Minneapolis
Tribune.
MISUNDERSTANDING French
cook doesn't know how to make mInce
pie" Curtis-"What does Van pay
himp' McQuillen-"$I0.00o.' Curtis
-"Hc's worth it. "-Iniladeiphia Call.
Police Judge-"Young man. you
are charged with vagrancy." ''Yes.
and it's an outrage. I'm merely out OF
employment after having worked on
some of the best papers in the coun-
try" 20. you're newspaper man.
ehp'' mo. sir; I'm a journalist. -
Lincoln Journal.
The claimant of the authorship of
Beautiful Snow" also claims to be the
inventor of roller skates; but people
have long ago become reconciled to the
fact that the claimants of the much
claimed poem will claim about every
thing and any thing. Budget
A man went into an editors Office
in Boston. Mass, one day lat week.
transacted his business in half dozen
words. and left without offering any
advice whatever as to the conduct OF
the paper At last accounts the editor
was very low. = It'd Bis.
"A square minister. After one or
two gentle efforts on the part Of the
collector to awaken Deacon Jones. the
minister said from the pulpit: ''Never
mind. Brother Layman, as Deacon
Jones has not heard the sermon, per-
hads it would not be right to expect
him toll pay any thing for it. "-Epoch.
"A Congressman dead against woni-
ans rights was talking to delegate
to the International Council of Women.
why" he said. '.you women can't be
men, you can't vote and you can't
fight" Cant fight, can't WEI" she
said. with . cold glare in her eyes
"You are bachelor, amt your" Hc
was. - Critic.
--She-"My! wasn't that q dreary
play? Not CLEAN of humor in it
But don't you think some Of the serious
speeches we're most effectiveP" He
"Why shouldn't they bea The author
has had the best training in the world
for serious and tragic writing. She
He--"Yes; he was editor
Of an English comic paper for three
years. Detroit Free Press.
-She-'Mydarling. it seem such a
little while since we entered this house
to begin life together. The glad spring.
time had just begun. the air was vocal
with birds and fragrant with flowers;
yet just think. it's almost year" He
That's so. received notice from
the landlord this morning that If
wanted to stay in this house I'd better
come around and renew the lease. He's
going to raise the rent on me, too.
Yes. it's nearly year.
-"You accepted . story last week."
he said to the editor. ',sent you by nv
little daughter, aged fourteen. As she
is very uncertain in her spelling, and
very sensitive on the subject. she asked
me to look in and correct it before you
print it in your Children's Department.
see you have it before you OF, your
desk-'Redd He'd CHM. . Correct!
Children's DEPARTMENT. shrieked the
editor. why, man, that's the best
dialect story we've accepted in . yearr'
Puck