The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1888-07-19
lGalion (O.) Sun Review.l
STRAIGHT GOODS.
The Chronicles of Benjamin and Levi.

And it came to pass in the fourth
year of the reign of Grover, the hang
man, that there assembled in the great
metropolis of the West the wise men
Of the land who were opposed to his
reign to take council for his overthrow.
And for six days did these wise men
sit in council and deliberate, for there
were divisions among them as to who
should be the successor of Grover, the
hangman.
Some there were among them who
favored John, the Shermanite, others
Walter, the Greshamite, others again
were for James, from the land of
Maine, some for the statesman from
the land of York, others for the sage
from the land of Michigan, some
shouted for William, the Allisonite.
and still others whose voices were
raised in favor Of Benjamin, the Har-
risonite, from the land of the Hoosiers.
On the third day there stood up
among the assemblage some of the
wise men and sang peans of praise for
their favorites, and when the evening
came they separated.
And on the next day the wise men
again assembled themselves together,
and they began to cast lots as to whom
among them should lead the hosts in
the battle for the overthrow OF Gro
yer, the hangman.
And thrice did they cast lots and
the choice fell on no one, on account
of the divisions among them.
Likewise did they twice cast lots or
the fifth day, and yet there was nc
choice
Then did the wise men counsel to-
gether, and, the next day being the
Sabbath, they separated until the sec
ond day Of the week.
And when they again assembled or
that day the casting of lots was re
sumed, and when they cast lots fol
the third time, behold the choice fel
upon Benjamin, the Harrisonlte. from
the land of the Hoosiers.
And there was great rejoicing among
the wise men, even to the waving o.
flags and banners, with shouting ant
clapping of hands.
And then again did they cast lots az
to whom among them should be sec
ond in command to take the place Of
Benjamin in case of his death.
And the lot fell upon Levi, the
Mortopite, from the land Of York.
And forthwith there went up from
the wise men mighty shout of tri
umph, which spread to all the inhab-
itants Of the land.
For with Benjamin and Levi as the
chief captains to lead them, the inhab.
itants saw that the days of Grover
the hangman, were numbered.
And when Grover, the hangman
and Thurman, the Copperhead, heard
this they were sore afraid, and bowed
their heads in grief, for they saw the
handwriting on the wall, as in the
days Of Nebuchadnezzer, ''Thou art
weighed in the balance and found
wanting"
And they sought counsel from their
brethren of the Southland.
And the Brigadiers of the Southland
came and spoke unto Grover, the
hangman, and Thurman, the Copper
head, saying:
Fear not, for as in the days Of our
distress ye gave US aid and comfort, so
now we in turn lay at your feet the
Solid South.
And Grover, the hangman, and
Thurman, the Copperhead, drew forth
their red bandanas and wiped the tears
from their eyes.
And again do they offer battle, hav
ing taken courage from the offer Of
gold and silver from the land Of free
trade across the mighty ocean.
But it will avail them nothing, for
the inhabitants of the land have
buckled on the armor for protection,
and under their chosen captains, Ben
jamin and Levi, they have entered
upon triumphant march, and when
the days Of November, being the elev-
enth month of the year, come, Grover,
the hangman, will be hurled from his
throne.
For the people have declared that he
shall no longer rule over them.
And on the fourth day Of the third
month of the coming year it shall
come to pass that Grover, the hang
man, shall be shorn of his power and
retired to the quiet shades of the city
from whence he came, and Benjamin,
;he Harrisonite, will reign in his stead.
5elah.
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