Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1888-12-13
CARL DUNDER.
He Has Learned Some New Tricks, and
PROMISES to Speculate.


Proposes to Speculate.
Welt Well! Bat | thoughG you
were in Germany by this time? ex-
claimed Sergt. Bendall, as Carl Dun
der entered the Woodbridge street
police station yesterday.
mo doan' go, Maybe dere vhas
some flies on me-maype not
''But you were discouraged the last
time YOU were here; you had tried
politics and got left Perhaps you
have struck something else.
dot vhas it, und | shall shtay right
here | learn some new tricks, und
hat some chances to speculate"
tTell me about it," said the sergeant,
as he settled down in his chair.
MAYBE you doan' like to hear from
some greenhorns, replied Mr.. Dun
der with an injured look. IF | vhas
green ash grass ind some COWS feed
me on, better go homeP'
"Come, go ahead. What new tricks
have you got?"
"Vhell, sergeant said the old man
as he melted slowly, "dot trick l
shpeak of vhas to wait until more ash
ten loafers vhas in my place. schwear-
ing und splitting und hugging the
stove, und den put in shtick of wood
NIT some powder in it und blow EN-
oop. You neafer saw such schumping
and running in your life. 1t vhas
enough to Kill me NIT laughter. A
stranger Gifts me dot trick for two
glasses Of beer
you blow up the loafersP"
dot vhas it"
"But YOU blow up the stove, too,
and perhaps the saloon. Can you af-
ford to buy a new stove every time you
want to play the trick?"
"Eh? Does der stoaf so, blow up,
too?n
"Of course"
HIN! | doan' think Of dot before.
Of coarse der stoaf vhas blown oop
nit der loafers, and maybe der house
yhas on fire.
''What else?n
"Yhell, l figure on some canary
birds. can buy 'em in Shermany for
two shillings apiece.
yes"
'Und der price here vhas 81"
Exactly
If | buys one million der profit
yhas oafer million und han of dol
lars.
81 see. You want agents here and
in Germany, and there is the cost of
transportation, the less by death, and
YOU must find million buyers Spleen
did scheme, Mr.. Dunder! l suppose
you'll buy steamer to ship byW
Him! get dot speculation for 81
in cash. Nhas he wrong?'
"Oh, no; go right ahead. Anything
else?'
"What if buy oop all der oranges
in der country for $1,000, 000P"
"Then Won could advance prices so
per cent. and make Il heap of money
"Shust so. vhas glad you see II
like me. Dot scheme cost me only
So.
But where is the 81 100000 to buy
WITH"
HIN, dots so. Oh! | remember
now. | yhas to give my note for one
wear. Dot makes herall satisfactory
"What clse?'
"Vhell, ! goes in der railroad PEGS
ness, | guess"
"HOWp'
oIn Mexico. If we build one hun
bred miles of railroad we get two
million acres of land. Dot land vhas
worth $40, 000,Q 600, und der income OF
der road vhas fife millions Il year
Here yhas der figures like some grease.
Dot pointer cost me two tollar,
"Splendid idea, Mr. Duuder. why
don't you buy the city hall for 500,
600 and sell it back to the city fol
$500O00?
by Sheorge! but dot yhas excellent
1t vhas a wonder ! don't think of dot
bcforc!'
And, say, you could buy up forty
steamboats, this fall for 100000 apiece
and sell them next spring for double
that money!
.Donder and bitten, but you yha'
a sharp man, sergeant! I doan know
you before. Shake my hand. How
much shall pay you?"
"Oh, that's al right, Mr.. Dunder.
You can always have my advice
( free
"Und when I make two hoonered
million dollars l elf you der best bank
1 in Detroit Tor present. Good-by,
sergeant, / see you quicker again when
/ | yhas a millionaire. '-Detr0B Free
I Press.
AN AUSTRALIAN NATIVE CHIEF.