Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1888-02-26
MR.. AMI MRS. BOWSER.

MR.. AND MRS. B0WSER.
The Happy O. uple Make an Eventful
Journey to Chicago.
suppose there are other husbands Just
impatient IS MI. Bowser, but I really
wish he would take matters more calmly.
lie had been gone about an hour the other
morning when he came running back with
q telegram in his hand and exclaimed:
"Pve got to 60 to Chicago, and you and
baby can 60 along"
What time tonight do we go?"
Tonight! We 90 at 1920 this morn
ing
"Why, MI. Bowser. we can't get ready
in an hour.
"Yes, you can Goright at it and jump
around. You've always wanted to 90 to
Chicago, and now's your chance. Just
leave everything for the girl to pick uI
and never mind how you look"
'But, Mr.. Bow"
Don't waste time arguing the matter.
Fling things into the trunk just as they
come to hand. You attend to yourself
and baby and I'll get my own thipg,"
But / don't want to go to Chicago"
eyes, you do. You've always said You
you wanted to smell Of the Chicago river,
and now yeu shall have it. Hurry up
you've wasted 10 minutes already"
l didn't want to 90, but l felt that Dir.
Bowser was determined. The girl washed
baby's face and dressed him while / was
d. essing myself, and / was not yet through
when Mr.. Bowssr dragged the trunk into
the hall, locked and strapped it, and
rushed in TO say:
"Pve got everything We'll need in the
aud it's all ready 10 60. Come,
now, don't wait to primp and pucker."
Give me half On hour"
Cant give you but 10 minutes. If
you amt ready then ! shall take the baby
and the trunk and go alone"
/ was ready. didn't look much better
than q woman who had escaped from 3
burning house, but l hoped to improve
some after we got on the train. A wagon
came up on the gallop for our trunk and a
hack came up on the gallop for us, and we
got off with a rush. Half way to the de-
pot Mr.. Bowser offered the driver so cents
to drive faster, aud we went through the
business streets as if bound for Canada
ahead of the sheriff. We got out and hnr-
ried into the depot and into the baggage
room, and Mr.. Bowser was rushing about
like a Gagged lion. when the bsggageman
asked him where he was going.
10 Chicago, o course."
''By way of Milwaukee,"
mo, sir! What do | want to 60 by way
of Milwaukee for?"
THAT'S none of my business, but that's
the only way our trains rum. You have
got the wrong depot"
Mr.. Bowser looked 10 years older rs he
grabbed the baby and told me to follow
him to q hack, and we had another wild
ride to the other depot. We rushed in,
the trunk came up with a whew, and the
baggageman asked if 1t was to 90 to Chi
cago. When answered in the affirmative
he replied:
next train goes at 8 o'clock this ever-
ing. Plenty Of time to get your trunk
checked"
But there's a train goes at 1920" pro-
tested Mr.. Bowser.
SIS that SOP Well, I've never seen it 90
"Here's the psper-look at this time
shouted Mr.. Bowser. "1f you
don't run according to the timetables
you'd better advertise the tact!'
"That is the timetable Of the d G. Fl.
& M. road" answered the man, while
this is the Michigan Central. Oar morn.
ing train left at Z o'clock"
Mr.. Bowser couldn't speak for the next
10 minutes. Once or twice he reached out
for the baby as if intending TO crush out its
life, but l q lodged him, and finally said:
"We'll go home, of course. We can't
wait here until 8 o'clock tonight"
I'VE can't, ell? Well, we just will, you
know! We'd look pretty sneaking back
home after starting for Chicago!'
All ] could say would not move him,
and while he was in and out during the
day l put in every blessed minute OF the
time in that depot. Neither Of US got two
wiDks of sleep during the night on the car,
aud Mr.. Bowser narrowly escaped coming
into deadly conflict with conductor and
porter. We reached Chicago in a mussed-
mp condition, and the first thing after
breakfast Mr.. Bowser said to me:
Il was noticing you at the table, and
You looked awful dowdy. You'd better
put on some decent buds"
Certainly. Open the trunk and I'll
sec what / have"
I looked into it, uttered a'yell Of de-
spair and sat down on the floor.
"Now what are you acting about?' de-
mauded Mr.. Bowser."
"Just see what you brought along!"
There were two summer dresses, an old
Mother Hubbard, three old stockings, an
old knot of ribbon belonging to the cook,
his summer blouse, O pair OF patched
pants which he sometimes wore to work
in, three boots, two towels, the cooks
hair brush and nearly all the soiled linen
from the clothes basket.
az brought everything I could ind,"
protested Mr.. Bowser, as | sat down and
cried.
I had dinner and supper brought to the
room, and after the last meal Mr.. BOwser
said we would take the night train home.
1t was always the way. II there was a
chance for him to take comfort / was sure
to spoil it. We got hack home in the
morning and as we left the cars / said to
Mr.. Bowser.
''We'l tell the neighbors baby was sick
and we had to comeback"
"No, we wen'tr' he promptly replied
''There's going to be no lying abOut this.
Wen tell the neighbors just how it was.
You were in such q rush that you flung all
the old duds in the house into the trunk"
"What! / didP"
"Mr. Bowser, don't elevate your eye
brows and show your tusks at me! Ifyou
ever travel another rod with me it will be
when / am crazy. You can go home alone.
I'm going up town to see a lawyer"
What They Could DO.
Sun Ffuncas" Chronicle.