The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-03-24
A DESPERATE AFFAIR.

CCeHe, OdCk-WOOUs IOWn III hen- lucky. Bob Peters, Ned Bold and Ham Fisher are sitting in the back room of doggery, drinking,l
 Bob Peters Significantly shaking his head)-"Bet yo' life when man shoves me he's shovin' good one. I want made ter be run over, an Iain't goin' ter be, nuther."
 Ned Boid-"Who's said anything about runnin' over you, Bob?"
 Bob-"W'y, the Frasier boys, Pve hearn, Tow that they air goin' ter do me up when they see me. Lige Frasier axed me ter vote for him when he run fur constable, an I sorter halfway prom ised that I would, but shortly after that Dick Miles, my brother-in law, he come out, an uv co'se I had ter vote fur him, but Lige Frasier he's noratin' it 'round the neighborhood that 1 told him lie. Now, boys, you all know that I try ter be a pcaceable sorter feller. Thar's nothin' I wouldn't almos' ruther do than ter hurt man, but let me tell you, when the wust comes-when the wust pokes it's head out rum under CT rock and Ticks out its tongue at me, wy, I jest wanter tell you that thar ain't no man that'll stand up and chaw his fodder no harder'n I will"
 Ham-"We all know that, Bob. We all know that nobody that treads shoe leather ''round here ken skeer you"
 Bob-"Now, you're diggin' down ter whar the 'taters is, tell you, an I wanter say right now, befo' furgit it, that you'll find good many uv 'em in CT hill, an some nv lem is app ter be ripsnorters."
 Ned-"I don't reckon that none uv us is much afeerd. I know a feller that shot at man not long Ego, but I ain't goin' ter say who done it."
 Ham-"Bet it wuz you, Ned. Bet you've took crack at many feller."
 Ned-"Never mind, ain't goin' ter brag, but whenever feller has went around an flowed that he wanted a little suthin' outen me, wy, he has allus got it. That's the sorter man I am, me. Let's tetch the pizen."
 [They take up jug, pour whisky into an oyster can and pass it around.
 Bob-"I reckon we're all erbout ez tough ez ther law pervides fur CT man bein', an Pll lay that thar ain't mo- body in this burg that wants ter wade inter us mon wunst Sometimes in the spring uv the year the brier- patch is so putty an green that it don't look like it could scratch, but jest wade in wunst, an you'll read your mistake put up like this here big show printin'. Boys, knowin' me ez we'll ez you do, whut you reckon Lias Frasier wants ter go round ther neighborhood talkin' erbout me thater way fur2 Wy, he oughter know that I ain't goin' ter stan no sich sinnywations ez that. Wy, he knowed my daddy, an he oughter know that one uv our fam'ly's strong p'ints is never ter let CT man run over us. Wonder if he don't rickolleck one time when my daddy took up CT ox-yoke and knocked his uncle down with it? I tell you whut's fack, boys, folks oughtenter furgit these here little p'ints."
 Ham-"Thar's only one way fur CT feller ter do, am that is, when CT man do furgit them little 'sential p'ints, wy, make him ricolleck 'em. I don't reckon I oughter say it, but CT skrim- mage does me good wunst in erwhile. It sorter moves my liver"
 Bob-"That's 'zackly the way it is with me. Sometimes when my liver gifts outen order it jest nachully pears like Pve got ter fight UT have a spell O sickness, an wanter say right now that my liver ain't right. Tell you whut les do: Les take another putty stiff horn, an then go out am see ef Lias an Bud Frasier sir in the burg. But wait CT mint. I don't wanter lead you boys inter differkilty, an' I