Iuka reporter. (Iuka, Miss.) 1888-1894, 1888-06-21


A St. Louis kiss which they brag on;
II hit the Young man on the side OF the head
And knocked him cold off Of the wagon:
The Coroner said it was hardly worth whilo
To proceed to empanel jury,
Since no man could stand being hit by kiss
The size of the map Of Missouri.
Detroit Free Press.
LEAP YEAR SUBJECT.
He-Do you believe in high license,
Fannie2
She-What kind of license2 Marriage
licenses
He changed the subject Washington
Critic.
A DOMESTIC ARGUMENT.
81 am surprised, Bobby" said his
father reprovingly, ''that you should
strike your little brother. Don't you
know that it is cowardly to hit one
smaller than yourself 2"
''Then why do you hit me, par in
quired the boy with an dir of having the
better of it.
NOT KEEPING FAITH.
"John, DEAR" said young wife, lyon
know we agreed never to have any
secrets from each other"
eyes, darling" replied John uneasily.
"And you know that last night, when
I asked you for little money, You said
that all you had was plugged twenty
cent piece and bunch of keys"
eyes, love-"
"Well, found SIS in one of your in
side pockets this morning, John"
INDIAN SLANG.
"Let her go, Gallagher is q choice
bit of slang not heard here to any extent,
though an Indian boy seems to have
come across it somewhere in Indian
Territory not from the print
ed page. He writes toa friend: "a is
gone to U, but he will be back before
this letter go-gal-la-ga gets to you
Hampton (Va.) School Record.
CONFIDENCE.
Woman Ito tramp)-And if give You
a nice plate of hash you promise to saw
some wood?
Tramp--Yes, m.
Woman (doubtfully) don't know
whether l can put confidence in you OF
not
Tramp (reproachfully)---You ought to,
ma'am. [ have confidence enough in
you to eat the hash. Bazdr.
THE TOWER.
"What made the tower of Pisa lean q
asked the school committee man OF the
candidate for teacher he was examining,
and the young man answered absent
minedly: 81 don't know, Sir, I am
sure, unless it may have spent Winter
in District No. boarding round
SomerciHe Journal.
SINGLE ADMISSION ONLY.
Rastus "a late acquisition from the
corn field on presenting visiting card
to his mistress) Mum, there's two of
EN- waiting at the door,
Mistress Why on earth didn't you in
vite them in?
! Rastus-Sartinly, mum. you didn't
want two to come in on one ticket, did
you?-Ha,per's Basar.
A DRY SERMON.
Mother-in-law Ito daughter, returned
from church, How was the sermon. to-
day, dear2
Daughter-Well, to tell the truth.
mother, found it trlfe dry.
Where's John? Didn't
he come home with you?
Daughter-Only part way, mother.
Mother-in-law with intense sarcasm)
i s'pose he found the sermon dry, too?
~ y. San.
OF FINANCIAL NATURE.
Bobby (thoughtfully)-Pa, do men in
business worry about money matters2
Father-Sometimes, Bobby. For in
stance. when man whose credit is not
first class owes me money, worry more
or less until | get it. Do you under
stand9
Robby-Y Yes, pa, and when you owe
money to other people / s'pose they
worry until they get it.-EpocA.
IT DEPENDS.
When riding master was asked the
other day how many lessons q ladv
needs to take before she can ride alone.
he said:
''Dot defends on der laty. Some
laties do dot NIT dree lessons; some Lot
at all In dree year. - Chicago Tribune.
THE MATRIMONIAL.
"Marie, said Mr.. Wipedunks. "A ba
came in and threw folded document
on the table, 81 have Just insured nv
life for So, 900 in your favor. There 4
the policy"
THANK you, Bilkerson," said Mrs.
Wipedunks. 81 hope it will be many
years before it will be of any use to me-
if ever"
II will be of much use to you if YOU
Wish to marry again, he growIed. "With
So, 600 in cash you can pick ont almost
any fool you like" e'
mo, Bilkerson,' she replied, affec-
tionately, 81 think / should wart'a
change next time. - Chicago Times.
W s