The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-11-16
BRIGHT BITS.

| THEY havea good one just at present on a
welrknown Bangor lawyer who is noted for his
| absent -mlndedness. He went up his own stairs
| the other day and seeing notice on his door
| Back at o'clock, 50 sat down to wait for him
| self.-Bdng0r Commercial
| Bur what awful lot o. money these high
| toned travellers waste for drink said Uncle
| Abner, as he laid down his newspaper. "A man
! who'll pay 500 for saloon passage to England
when he can 60 in the Storage for S2t' is a
| slave to rum--that's what say life.
"As AN accomplished horsewoman, " said the
| reporter notebook in hand II presume you ride
! bareback occasionally
No; sir" replied the star actress, with a
| lurld flash of indignation, when ride always
| wear suitable wrap. ''-ChjcG0O Tribune.
MISS SMITH [iust introduced sentimentaly)-
We're you ever smitten by Cupid's darts, Mr..
| Snider?
Mr.. Snider-Only once.
Miss Smith-How long ago, may ask?
Mr.. Snider consulting his watch)-About two
| minuteS.-Ttme.
WHAT TINE asked a lady with an armfuI
| of bundles. docs the next train leave?" at
| leaves on schedule time. - responded the affable
and accommodating ticket agent. And the
| lady retired to the waiting room with the re-
mark that she didn't know it left so Late
I Nor7fstoWn Herald.
Poor JENNY 1t must he an awful shock to
you" sympathized her friend; and to think
you trusted him all these years while he was
Yes, )" she sobbed, II knew my millinery
alone came to more than his salary but never
suspected him. Time
FREsHLY-Between you and me, Springley,
Miss Resale is a charming girl; I'm really quite
gone in that quarter
Springley-O, you don't know how that will
please her. She told me the other evening that
when you called she always thought you never
would go-BOstOn Post.
81 PRESSED my suit as fervently as l knew
how, but she would not hear it, walled Dude
kins.
81 don't see how she could help hearing it
it's such loud suit, replied his sympathetic
friend, with suggestive glance at Dudekins
latest walking -coat.-HGrper 'sBdzdr.
JINGs-Sorry to hear of your house being
burned down, old man. Any insurance.
Jangs (despondingly)-Ye fully insured but
I'm ruined. nevertheless.
Jings- Why, supposed the insurance covered
everything
in my winters coal and l don't know where [
can raise money enough to duplicate it.-LotveI
Citizen
A STOUT, elderly lady was hanging by a
strap and casting black looks at an inoffensive
but ungallant dude, who sat sucking the head
lady upon him with great force. Say, dash it,
don't you know" exclaimed the youth, you We
crushed my foot to jelly?" IT'S not the first
time I've made calf'sfoot jelly" retorted the
woman severely, as he vanished and she pre-
pared to sit down.-Sh0e and Leather Re
porter.
TRUE FRIENDsHIP-Mr. ]. Parker-There are
Trimble- Hawkins and his wife. They are a
handsome couple, aren't they!
Miss Charity Ball-Oh. yes, they are quite
distinguished looking; but do you know they
say that at home they quarrel scandalously
and, besides that. Mrs. Trimble- Hawkins abso-
lutely neglects every household duty. and her
children are perfect dsgracel
Mr.. j. Parker-Oh, you know her, then?
Miss Charity Ball-Yes, indeed; l am her best
friend!-Pltck.