davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1888-06-20
A Church Mouse.

/" ] want warrant for the arrest of a
hated rival said western young man.
" may be poor, but no man can insult
me and get away with it,
What's the trouble ?p asked the jus
tice.
Disturbance. 1t was at the wedding
ceremony. / won the girl, and just as l
peated, With all my worldly goods /
thee endow,' there came from the organ
loft in the voice of my hated rival the
word Rats go on no wedding trip
until this thing is settled.-N Y. San.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1888-06-20
Popular Education.

We sympathize with the feeling which
often leads citizens to boast that no chill
dren in this country need grow up in ig-
norance, and yet it is a fact that many
people who have learned to read and
write have never taught themselves to
think. A man who suffered from catarrh,
consumption, bronchitis scrofula. or liver
complaint, might read till his eyes would
drop out, how these and many other dis
eases have been cured by Dr. Pierce's
Golden Medical Discovery. but if he did
not take the lesson to himself and test
the virtues of this great medicine, his
time would be thrown away.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1888-06-20
A Great Battle

Is constantly going on in the human sys-
tenn. The demon of impure blood strives
TO CAD victory over the constitution, to
ruin health, to drag victims to the grave
A good, reliable medicine like Hoods
Sarsaparilla is the weapon with which to
defend ones self, drive the desperate en-
emy from the field, and restore peace and
bodily health for many years. Try this
macmillan ,padirir,a
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1888-06-20
A Cure for Fetid Feet.

A Chicago correspondent writes as for
a remedy for perspiration Of the feet,
complaining that this trouble makes him
unduly sensitive. Frequent washing, be
asserts, does no good. The disease, for
such it really is, may have its origin in
the skin, in the glands, or in the system.
and the cause must first be removed. 1t
least once day, or twice, If possible the
feet should be soaked in tannin and warm
water Stockings should be changed
once or twice daily, and only wooden
should be worn. Insoles Of felt should
be worn and changed xith the stockings.
They can be wet in chlorinated soda, and
and then dried for further use The
stockings when removed, should be dried
by the'fre.-Herald Of Hoatf.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1888-06-20
VOL. XXXV1. NO. Sc
GROVER. THE FIRST.


I'm Grover Cleveland from Buffalo.
lead the leaders. boss the show
There's one OF me,
There's thousands of them
They are The buds.
And am the stem
7 loPthem off
Or let them stay.
Just as ] happen
To feel that day
I'm Grover Cleveland from Buffalo.
The one big Man in the party, you know.
Pm Grover Cleveland from Buffalo,
] work my thinker, never blow
I've got nay grip,
And III stay right there
While the leaders cusS
And the leaders swear;
! take it serenely
know my chance,
hold up the party
By the seat of its pants
I'm Grover Cleveland from Buffalo,
I'm the Unit OF Value they can't let go.
They'd knife ne. of course
They've got the gall,
But they'd rather have me
Than nothing at all
I'm Grover Cleveland, from Buffalo,
If get len the party must go.
Has,ilJlon, D. @ Critic
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1888-06-20
-
A Wonderful Operation

is natures effort in growing teeth. Why
then be so careless as to lose them by alb
solute neglect? Minot's Dentifirice is the
sure means of keeping handsome, SER
viceable set of teeth and healthy gums
-25 cents viii procure bottle. Sold
everywhere.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1888-06-20

An old lady, with several unmarried
daughter, feeds them ON fish diet, because
it IS rich in phosphorus, the essential
thing for making matches
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1888-06-20

For several years have been troubled
with catarrh. Ely's Cream Balm has
proved to be the article desired. l be-
lieve it the only cure.-L. B. Coburn,
Merchant, Towanda, Pa.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1888-06-20

He that shoots best may sometimes
miss the mark; but he that shoots not at
all. can never hitit.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1888-06-20

Pleasure and action make the hours
seem short.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1888-06-20
me- Somerset Herald.
ESTABLISHED 's2T.

u..,,,s of Publication.
LEI -, weinc.sAy morning at g %
polished :, 80 ia ia advance: Otherwise g %
~ n'ai-' xi,l ,e discontinued until al
S''' :. paid up. POstnas'ers nesiec'ins
''''.s, !. when .crers DO not take ,a'. out 'ns,l
pDoai 7 :. ned responsible for the suOscfip-
lsp1f va
90 tor srorn one posiofice TO an
sasse''Os'' - -. :. ,be name Of the former as
vel 8 - THE soNEnsFr HERALD,
SOMERSET, Pa.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1888-05-15
A CARD.

Contrary to u rule, but in res.
ponse to the solicitations of many of
our farmer friends, we publish in this
issue of The PROGRESSIVE FARMER, the
card of Geo. W. Sanderlin, of Wayne,
in which he modestly announces him
self a candidate for the Office of State
Auditor. His name has been promi-
nently and repeatedly mentioned in
this connection recently, and it was
desired and expected that he would
give some public %intimation of his
personal wishes in the matter. Be-
sides being a gentleman of great cult
IRE and refinement, and. eminently
fitted for the duties of the Office, he
desires, he is one of the most extern
sive practical farmers of the State.
He also finds time, from his other du-
ties, to edit. with marked ability, the
agricultural department Of the. Kanstom
Free Press. The Neus. Observer, of this
city in which the card was first pub
lished, characterizes it as manly and
unmistakable." So say we. #t1@.ty
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1888-05-15
IMPORTANT TO ALLIANCES.
RALEIGH. \

RALEIGH, N. c., May 8, 1888.
Col. L. L. PoLK:-Dear &r:-The
Presidents or Secretaries of the various
sub-Alliances of Wake county will please
call at our store as early as conven-
lent. We have something of Importance
to communicate to them.
Respectfully,
NORRIS & CARTER.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1888-05-15

The printer-man may not always
know a great deal about poetry, but in
the practical affairs of every day life he
is usually well up:
He kissed her under the rose,"
Is how the poet wrote it;
HE kissed her under the noSe,''
Ia how the printer put it.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-01
BRIGHT BITS.

NERVOUS LADY PASSENGER lin train, after pass
ing temporary bridge)-Thank goodness, we
are now on terra frma Facetious gentleman
Yes, ma'am; less terror and more firmer.-
Manufacturing Gazette
Ak anti Prohibitionst who picked up work
on temperance threw down the book with a
curse before he had read page But it was
not the first time a volume of water was
damned.-Nontstoicn Herald.
IL GERMANY marriage license cannot be
legally granted TO person addicted to the liquor
habit The theory is, presumably, that man
ought to cure himself of one bad habit before
he goes astray in another direction.-iSoDleJUale
Journal
II SUPPOSE you find times pretty hard" said
a kind hearted old lady to a tramp, and often
don't get enough to eati'
TITS worse than that, num-" was the candid
reply lin these days it is hard to get enough to
drink. let alone to eat. "-JWdge.
OLD MAN calling down the stairs to daughter)
Clara
Daughter-Yes papa?
Old man-Ask that young man in the parlor
which he prefers for breakfast milk rolls or
Vienna bread-NeW York Sun
HE (making long calD-What a very odd
looking clock, Miss Smith Is it an heirloom?
She lsuppressing yawnl-O, no; 1t is re
cent purchase of papa's. He has penchant
for such things | was about to call your at
tention toit.-Chicago Tribune
Young MAN to waiter)-What have you got,
waiter?
Waiter-Anythn' an everythin'
Young MAXWELL give me some nightingales
tongues on toast.
Waiter after a short absence)-Sorry boss
but the cook says as what the toast is all OUT
NetC York Sun.
A NUMBER of young people recently decided to
put wedding cake under their pillows at night,
and we are Informed that they dreamed of the
foowsng: I, of her grandmother; =, of a snake
swallowing man; 3, of an elephant skipping a
rope; I, of a runaway team; 5, of railroad acct
dent; 6, OF murder;7, of a fight between male
cats.-AtchisOn Globe.
SIT cannot be otherwise" he muttered,
hoarSely; you must be mine You and could
not avoid it if we would, and let us thank the
fates that orr union will be cemented by love
You could never have been another map's wife.
There is destiny hanging over you"
''Oh. George" she gasped convulsvely,
brush it away-please do!"-MerchGnt TraU-
eier
MAMMA, what's hereditary" asked Bobby,
aboriously tripping over the syllables of the
long word
"Why, it is-anything you get from your
father or me, replied the mother, a little puz-
FED for definition suited to his years. Silence
for two minutes.
Then, ma" he asked, lis Spankin heredit-
taryY'-Ne,c York star.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-01
One of Robson's Jokes.
From The Nep YORK Sun.

A good story is told of Lawrence Barrett's
earnestness under the most amusing surround
ings. Edwin Booth met Robson and Crane on
Washington street, in Boston, and asked them
how the fishing was at Cohasset, where they and
Barrett lived curing the summer There are
plenty of fish there, " said Robson, but they
seem TO prefer tragic death. They won't bite
at comic hooks. Crane and | can't get any of
Them but Lawrence Barrett sits alongside us in
the yacht and fairly hauls them in. They seem
to lie around and wait for him to come" well, "
replied Booth, Tn a tragedian myself 4; l guess
! can get a mess" And with that they went
down and tried the fishing, but caught not a
solitary fin. AS they landed at the Cohasset pier
Barrett drove by in his splendid and stately
turnout. ANY fish, said he None" said
Robson. They are all out there nosing around
for Mr. Barrett's dignifed sinker" My Cd,
Mr. Robson, answered Mr.. Booths future
manager with much disgust can't you ever
be serious about anything!n
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-01
Social Questions in washington

1t is said that the question of precedence
at the New Years reception at the White
House tomorrow was settled at Cabinet
meeting, 1t seems that the President was
called on to settle it. OF course if Mrs.
Bayard were living she would stand next to
Mrs. Cleveland during the reception Ever
since her death, however, there has been
faction that has insisted that the wife of the
Secretary of the Treasury should rank next
to Mrs Cleveland on all official occasions
The Secretary of State, however, has an
opinion of his own ABOUT. the matter He
claims that his daughter is entitled to the
place which would belong to his wife, and
he has always succeeded in having his
claim recognized,
The late Miss Catherine Bayard, when
her mother was unable to leave her home,
represented her on great occasions at the
White House, and it is understood that Miss
Anne Frances Bayard will stand above
Mrs. Fairchild, Mrs. Endicott and all the
other Cabinet ladies tomorrow.
These social questions are quite extern
sively discussed in Washington, and in some
circles there they are the leading topic of
conversation. They offer big field for
gossip and discussion, and there are those
who CLEAN the field pretty thoroughly.
A few of the Republican papers are try
ing to make a little political capital against
the President by asserting that young ladies
entering society in Washington have
adopted the fashion of being presented at
court, as they term it, In other words
they do not consider that they are fully
"out" until they have been presented
to Mrs. Cleveland. If there is such a
fashion the President is not responsible for
it, and as it seems to please the girls and
doesn't hurt anybody, why shouldn't they
be permitted to amuse themselves by fol-
lowing the harmless fashion! They will
soon get tired of it.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-01
INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

SPECIAL No11cEs-Reserved Seat Diagram
Mendelssohn Concerts; Fancy Work. The
National Bank of Savannah; Knights of Pythas
Hall Association; Merchants National Bank;
Leaders from Townsend; As to Bells OF indie
pendent Presbyterian Church, Savannah Bank
and Trust Company; AS to Marietta and North
Georgia Railroad Coupons; AS to Closing of
City Offices Notices Southern Bank of the
state Of Georgia; Notice of Dissolution, Hunt &
Owens; Turn Over New Leaf, Strauss Print
ing Company; New Years at Thunderbolt.
A Few THINGS WE WANT-Strauss Bros.
ANNOUNCEMENT 1SsS-Ecksten's.
WATCHES, DIAMONDS AND JEwELRY-Theus
Bros.
MAMMOTH SALE OF REMNANTs-A R. Altmayer
& Co.
wNrED-Agents for the Great Southern Por-
trait Co.
BARGAINS AND DRIvEs-At Dumas.
CHICKERING PIANo-F oRTEs-L & h. S. NJ. II.
AMusEMENTs-Katie Putnam at the Theatre.
1888, HAPPY NEW YEAR, & b. S. NJ. H.
LOST IN THE RUsH-B. IL. Levy & Bro
KNABE PIANos-Davis Bros.
OUR PRICES TALK-Emil A. Schwar2.
DRESS GooDs, ErC.-David Weisben
MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS - Schreiners Music
House,
CHEAP COLUMN ADVERTISEMENTS Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent; For
Sale; Personal; Board; Strayed; Lost; Miscel-
1aneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-01
Convicted, But Not Guilty.

In one of the specials sent out from Wash
ington there is a curious and an interesting
story of the conviction of two young Ten
nesseeans for passing counterfeit money.
They are applicants for a pardon, and the
President is expected to make them happy
early this year, if he has not already done so.
According to the story told to the Presi-
dent, the truth of which is vouched for by
men of character and prominence, two
young farmers purchased piece of land in
one of the Tennessee counties and began
to prepare it for planting. 1t had
once been owned by a miser,
who had the reputation of
making counterfeit coins. One day one of
the brothers, while blowing a piece of his
land near his house, displaced large rock
with his pillow. He was surprised to see sew
eral bright coins lying on the ground near
it. Calling his brother from the house they
began an investigation, and were gratified
to find, when they had further displaced the
rock, between 800 and $500 in coin, which
they supposed to be gold. The money was
wrapped in an old newspaper which con
tanned President Folks inaugural adj
dress. They had no doubt about the
genuiness of the money, and they spent
very considerable part of it in paying their
debts. A few of the coins found their
way into the local bank, and there being
some doubt whether they were good or not,
they were sent to the mint at New Orleans.
They came back with the word counter
feit' stamped upon them.
The brothers at once redeemed all the
coins they could find In the course of
few months, however, some of those which
they had not redeemed came back to the
town, and it was believed that they were
putting fresh counterfeits into circulation.
They were arrested, convicted and sent to
the Albany penitentiary. They have been
there six months, and they want to get
back to their Tennessee farm.
Is their story a true one! If it is it is
rather remarkable that they should have
been convicted. They did not Intentionally
violate the law. Perhaps they could not
explain satisfactorily how the counterfeit
coins got into circulation the second time.
The fact that men of good repute say that
their story is true is so much in their favor
that the President may make this happy
new year for them by granting them a
pardon.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-01
A Joke on a Trustee.
From the Neao York sun.

A recent Nassar graduate was relating some
of her experiences as housekeeper during the
illness of her mother, and was commenting
upon the indisposition of servant girls in the
United States TO black the boots of the men of
the family In households in England, she said.
where there is only one hired girl, the polishing
of the mems shoes is accepted by her as one of
her duties Then another Vassar girl recalled
the time when a number of her classmates
helped to shine the boots of a gentleman visit
ing at the college. He was and is still trustee
of Vassar. He occupied one of the guest cham
bers, and when he went to bed he left his shoes
outside the door as if he were in q hotel some
of the girls who were up at an early hour saw
the boots, and thought it would be a good joke
to do the bootblack act themselves. They did,
and when they returned the shoes they stuck in
each a handsome bouquet of flowers The trlls-
tee was half abashed and altogether surprised
when he realized how he had been hcnored.
while ago-tells his name as that of Benson j.
LOSING, the historian
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-01
Troubled by Prohibition.

IL is said that Speaker Carlisle is meeting
with great deal of difficulty in making up
the committee which has jurisdiction of
the liquor traffic. There does not appear to
be any anxiety to serve upon it. The indi-
cations are that the prohibition question is
going to be troublesome one III Congress
this winter. Prominent Prohibitionists
from all parts of the country are preparing
to urge Congress TO abolish the liquor EVIL
in the District of Columbia, and in all the
other parts of the country OF which 1t has
jurisdiction 1t can be readily seen that
they have it in their power TO place n good
many Congressman in very uncomfort-
able position. In more than half, perhaps
two-thirds of the Congressional districts
there is a strong prohibition element. In
the great majority Of them there has, as
yet, been no effort TO make prohibition an
issue in Congressional elections. But II
prohibition were TO become leading ques-
ton in Congress it would become an issue in
Congressional campaigns, and Congress
sional candidates would have to take posi-
ton for or against it.
The aim will be TO keep it from being dis
cussed in Congress. The easiest way to ac-
complish that is for the Speaker to make up
the committee, to which all bills on the sub
ject of the liquor traffic will be referred, so
that it will smother all such bills, or if it
reports any one of them it will do so at so
late a day in the session that discussion of it
will be impossible.
No member wants TO serve on such COM
mittee. The Prohibitlonists would make
life burden to him. They would give
him no rest unless he promised to vote to
report a prohibition bill favorably and
promptly If he lodged the responsibility,
or took position against prohibition they
would attack him in the public prints, and
make all the Prohibitionists in his district
hostile to him.
If the prohibition question gets before
Congress it will not be very earnestly dis
cussed except by few avowed Prohibition
lists, and if a vote one it should be reached
absentees would be more numerous than the
voters.
The Republicans are particularly afraid
of the prohibition issue. 1t threatens to
divide their party into two factions. Some of
their leaders think their party should put
prohibition plank in their national plat
form One Republican Senator has intro
duced prohibition bill, and another is GO
ing about the country making prohibition
speeches. and there are good many South
ern Congressman who don't want prohibi
ton to become political issue in their sec
tion. They will do what they can to pre-
vent it from becoming so. 1t is one of the
things which promises 70 give Congressman
from all parts of the country trouble
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-01
She Married a Scholar.

From. the Yankee Blade.
Oh, she said she'd never marry any Tom and
Dick and Harry,
She'd wed some famous scientist of learning
and renown:
But her Tom was quite commercial and of
Agassiz and Herschel
He was as ignorant, she said as any circus
clown.
SO she gave poor Tom the mitten, and as meek
as any kitten
He went TO making money and forgot his wild
despair;
Forgot, say; at any rate he fastened TO de-
generate
Into a sordid business man, trifing mil
kxEsxa lionare.
But she wed a scientific, and his tastes were
quite terrific
For various kinds Of insects and for toads and
other game:
And instead of plaques and pictures, rattle
snakes and boa constructors
He'd take into his sitting room to ornament
the same.
AS a Jealous decorator he preferred an alligator
To statue of Minerva or q bust Of Henry
Clay;
And you ought to hear him talk awhile of his
bouncing baby crocodile
That he played with in his parlor just to while
the time away;
And his cobra di capello, very charming fell
low
Through his dressing room and bedroom used
to nonchalantly drift;
And an elephants proboscis and two young rhi-
noceroses
lie presented to his children as a fitting
Christmas gift
buI ne sold his wifes piano to buy ipecacuanha
10 iced his hippopotamus to ease his stomach
aches,
And shark ate up his baby. for you know how
hungry they be-
And he went and pawned his overcoat to feed
h1 rattlesnakes.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-01

The Secretary of the Silk Association of
America asserts that the United States can
never engage in seri-culture until skilled
mechanic can be hired for SOC. a day. AS
silk manufacturers, he says, we can hope
with good reason to, be great, but as silk
growers, never, and we shall have to con-
tent ourselves with manufacturing into
merchantable fabrics the raw silk produced
by other countries. Italy and France to-
gether, he says, produce a fourth of the
silk crop of the world, China another
fourth, and Japan the balance.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-01

Senator's Mitchell, Davis, Reagan, Pasco,
Henderson, Faulkner, Voorhees, and Dawes
are said to be averse TO riding behind a
white horse, fearing the act will be fol-
lowed by ill-luck. In other words they are
superstitious. Senator Evarts will with
impunity utter sentence as long as the
chain in Waterbury watch, but he dis
likes seeing the moon over the left shout
der. Ignorance and superstition are said
to go hand in hand, but nobody ever
accused these men of being ignorant
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-01
Columbus Chapters.

COLUMBUS, GA, Dec. 3l.-Real estate
transfers here for December amounted tc
nearly $4,000
Judge Brooks issued fifty marriage H.
ceuses this month.
While the afternoon passenger train or
the Georgia Midland road was leaving the
Union depot a pair of trucks under one OF
she passenger coaches jumped the track. Nc
damage was done, and only few minute.
DELAY resulted
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-01
Cocoa's Tragedy.

TITUsvILLE, FLA, Dec. 31.-Thomas
Hardee, who was shot by William Fowler
at Cocoa Thursday, survives and may re-
cover. He fully exonerates Fowler and de-
clines to prosecute him. Fowler has been
released from Jail and has returned to Cocoa
TO undergo preliminary trial by Magis-
trate. Judge Mershon is his counsel and
viii defend him in the event of an indict-
ment, which is not probable.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-01
EisIIntentinos Were Good.

From the Chicago NelcS (Denl.)
The Boston Herald says: "A beautiful girl is
the most beautiful thing in creation" II the
Herald will take the trouble to find girl OF
that description and call her a thing" TO her
face, it will wish that its admiration had been
bestowed on some inanimate object like
crooked rainbow or a red red sunset.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-01-01
The NUMBERS Increasing.

From the Baltimore Herald (Den,)
The number of women who throw red pepper
and vitriol in the eyes of men is alarmingly on
the increase. On the other hand, we are forced
TO admit that the number of men who are in
the habit Of caressing women with pot lids,
pokers, boot-heels and butcher knives gives no
sign of diminishing