Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-05-19
Saturday Smiles.

''My son. said the Auburn parent Sunday, "what
was the text?"
o" dunno the reply Of the
self shall be exhausted "-LeeOiston Journal
~ Think said the minister, who was visiting
parishoner shat IL Is easier TO coax children than
TO drive them. Gentle words are more effective
than harsh ones"
81 think So too" said the lady, tenderly.
Then she raised her window and suddenly
Johnnie, If you don't come in out OF that mud
puddle I'll break your back."-Colunabus Dis
patch.
That dead men tell no tales" is not an article OF
faith with spiritualists-Mdrthas Vineyard
Herald.
1t is one Of the peculiarties of things In general
that the freshest men generally tell the stalest
storieS.-Bdn9Or Commercial
Strawberries are not so sour now by so cents as
they were month ag9.-.SonerriUe Journal
II Is universally truthful remark that mans
STOOL friends" are his worst enem1es.-Chicago
Journal.
A woman never wants half so badly to learn to
ride horseback as she does when she sees how be-
coming riding habit is to a woman she doesn't
like.-SOmerriue Journal.
II there is any state that has not favorite son
who would make an admirable candidate for Presi
dent II will please step forward and be viewed as
curiosity.-Clncinndti Commercial Gazette.
"Do weary your" asked the patentrght man,
pausing briefly for breath on the second Quarter OF
his explanation. "dO weary your" "Land alive
no." replied the young man whom he had penned
up between the cigar stand and the telegraph
office Ego ahead, you can't tire me. never hear
anything anybody says. That's my business,
hold copy for proof reader in printing omce."-
BtDdette.
A certain style Of shoe button is called "old
Maids Wedding" because 1t never comes on.
''What fresh air you have up here" said he YES.
terday afternoon when he went to visit some
we have in Newark" CHATS what I've always s
said, interpOsed a listener, "and can't UNDER
stand why they don't build those large cities out
In the cOuntry."-Netodrk Journal.
ohServod Mrs SpauUS Gtbor oorno 49,.
nent men think the Garden Of Eden was located In
the Mississippi Valley"
ark rested in the southern. states" '' 'n'
at did?"
ayes; Noah came out of the Arkansaw land. Won
know"-fins6ur0h Chronicle.
Courtly Gentleman-"May 1 ask II Won were
present at the creattOn?"
Elderly Maiden (blushing with quick fndirna.
Courtly Notwithstanding ma'am: notSinG
simply wished to inquire IL you attended the
oratoro by the Choral Society Wednesday eve
n1ng."--LOUeU Citizen.
not at nome. Who shall say called?' 40
Cailer."You may say that lady called who
didn't bring her name"
'Say Jack, see you wear military hat, and
people call you captain; didn't know you were
ever In the Army SWELL no, never was butt
o dIaweg and FEE Is though
Dumley-"DO you remember OF lending me %
Brown, about month ago?. ~
Brown Getr0spectively)-'Iet me see. Yes, I.
think do" -
Dumley-"Y0u were little full at the ttme.n
Brown-"Yes, must have been."-N y san.
Time-middle Of q long sermon-Elsie I'm loud
whisper)-NO, mother dear, do give them the
penny now and let's go."-Judy.
"Thr0w up your situation?"
certainly, as am about to marry"
"Do you propose to live on lover"
"NO, on my loves father"
-Four delegates TO the Methodist conference In
New York have had their pockets picked TINS II
another argument In favor Of admitting femsle
delegates No pickpocket could ever md q
woman's pocket-N0r10ich Bulletin.
once heard Of aschoolmaster who told another
II am gentleman after O'Clock" The ofher
asked, "What were you before7"-London Josynoi
| Of Education,
"The strong should always stand by the veal. y
vile house, and he put the butter next to IN
conee pot.-GrQphjc.