Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1888-03-09

I never read in nv life such stupid
mawksh. dry, dull, worthless wretch
I'd sheet as this mornings issue
Man g ng Editor I'm sorry. sir.
The mud singing editur was una
voidably detained at home on account
Of sickness
You need them for cold weather
pains and soreness-Hop Plasters
are successful every time
Relief is instant, cure is rapid when
a Hop Plaster is applied direc tly
over pain.
George H. Clarkson, who was
recently robbed by footpads in Kan
sas City, Mo has sued the city. on
be theory that it is bound to protect
ilfe and property.
The best apples in this country,
and therefore in the world. are rails. d
IN the State of Arkansas. These ap'
Piles have taken prizes at O dozen
fruit exhibits, and they are likely 10
do the same thing at the national
fruit display now in progress in Cali
fornis.
The tendency Of people who have
insured their lives to commit suicide
or those who intend to commit sui.
eide 10 insure their lives. introduces q
new nhase into our daily study oi
human nature. A jury has made The
discovery
In an Irish theatre where they
were playing Hamlet" the gallery
chaffed the Prince of Denmark un
mercltully, especially in the scene
with the Ghost At length Hamlet
stepped onward and, addressing the
gallery, said: "Look here, me boyos,
if viz don't stop yer coddin'. me an
the ghost will go up there an bate
the devil out O the lot ov yiz "
advertising has created many y
new business, enlarged many an old
business, revived many a dull bust.
uess, rescued many falling bushes.
and preserved many u large business,
aud II insures success in any business.
Two men who evidently had
been looking at land out West with 3
view to moving there were discu ssine
the country. One of them said: ''Th+
great trouble with it is, there is no
good society and no cold water =" Al
old rustic who had probably been on
a similar errand turned around ano
said: That's jnst what's the matter
with hades, gentlemen no good socie-
ty and no cool water"
The striking cigsrmakers of New
York City say they are willing TO
spend a million dollars to win their
srrike Won't somebody rise up with
tears in his eyes and tell of the pow
erty of New York's cigarmakers.
The soldiers of the French army
don't like the service any better than
Americans. Ten per cent. of the
number desert every year and twenty
per cent. destroy their health 10 the
hope to secure discharge.
"A Kentuck man who was on his
way to Niagara Falls. and got laid
over by an accident, tclegrsphed or
to see if the falls operated on Sunday
the same as other days. He was
much gratified when informed that
business continued right along every
day in the year.
Col. A. Fl. Brooks asserts tha,
there is more illicit whiskey mad
within radius of twenty miles OF
the City Hall in New York than in
all the much talked of "moonshine"
districts of the South Col. Brooke il
Chief of the Internal Revenue Agents
in New York.
When the European powers get
through lying and allying to each
other the people of the United States
would like to ask them about how
much American breadstuffs they will
probably need to carry them through
their wars.
An old man was found dead in
bis cabin in Taylor Co., Ga. The
Coroner summoned jury, who view
ed the corpse, built big fire of pine
knots. emptied a jug OF whiskey and
then rendered the verdict, "We, the
jury, 6nd the prisoner guilty"
MIR. and Mrs James o. Robinson
are solid citizens of Cnarlestown.
Mass. They have been married so
years. Mr.. Robinson weighs 27s
pounds. Mrs Robinson weighs 225
pounds, and of their seven children
living none weighs less than 200
pounds.
-"Clara," said the old man from
the head Of the stairs. hasn't that
young man gone YETI"
"Your daughter isn't here, SIR"
feebly responded the young mau.
"She has just stepped into the kitchen
to fill and trim the lamp"
-"John," said frightened wife in
The middle of the night. there's some
thing moving ir the cellar, Pm sure"
John listened intently, -'Oh, it's
nothing but the gns-meter pegsing
away" he said, witE sigh relief.
Mr. Courtensy Van Ell. Doolyt-
tie (whose supply OF blue blood is ex-
tensive, but whose purse is meagre.
to the plebian but wealthy Mrs c..
Van Il ID J: But if you refuse me
money in this way, you know.
you can't expect me to keep the dig
nifty of the family name.