The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1888-10-11
!. PUNaENT PARAGRAPHS.


1T Is remarkable to think how
closely the fall Of man followed upon
the rise Of woman. Merchant 1rducler.
Paper is made out Of the cedar
chips Of pencil manufacturers, which Is
useful for preserving carpets and other
wooden goods and furs from the attacks
of moths.
There are 4o0,000,000 cigarettes
used in this country annually. The
undertakers, doctors and officers of in
sane asylums have great reas on to be
thankful. Boston Traveller. S
Hostess (boarding- house)- Which
do you prefer, Mr.. de Lean, new pota-
toes or old?" Mr.. de Lean-''It doesn't
matter about the potatoes, madam; but
If you have two kinds of chicken, I will
take the ew."-Philadclphta Record.
Child (at theatre during grand
ballet Observation-Disclosures do all the
pretty ladies come from. Mammal"
Mamma -''From behind that big our
tain at the back; there are many rooms
there" 20, yes; the undressing
rooms. "-Philadelphia Record.
An indignant parent, in rebuking q
refractory son, exclaimed: "Remem-
Der who you are talking to, sir! I'm
your father!' To which the youth re-
joined: 20, come now, hope you amt
going to blame me for that. troy
Times.
Woman Ito tramp)-If l give you
a nice dinner will you help me put up
some patent self-rolling window cur
tains? Tramp-No, ma'am. I'll saw
wood, carry in coal, or dig postholes,
but I wouldn't help a woman on win
dow curtains if she gave me Delmon-
leo spread.-N Y. San.
Mr.. Warner Hurt dropped in at the
post-office in Cumming, Ca, the other
Gay, and bought ten cents worth Of
postage stamps. He told the post.
master that it was the first purchase OF
the sort he had ever made, and that in
all his life-he is over seventy-six now
he had never written or received q
letter.
Ibid you bake these biscuits?' he
asked at the supper table. eyes,
George; made them expressly for
you," she winningly replied. "And
yet," said George, vainly trying to
pry open a biscuit, 'you have always
told me you loved me, and couldn't
live without me!'- Norristown Herald.
-Barkins-''My speech went off like
a hroozo III .<hn ~%c
recognized immediately" Candidus-
Eyes, I noticed that. I recognized
those you took from Jefferson and
jackson and Samuel J. Tilden at once.
Next time you speak you ought to get
points that people won't recognize 50
easily. "-Harper's Bazaar.
-''And what answer do you make
to my appeal?' he asked, as he knelt
at her feet. "James, will be frank
wish you,' she murmured. 20, speak, -
he implored, ''and relieve me of this
agony of suspense" "Then let me
say it can not be- "Why not?" '.Be.
cause, James, 1 do not feel able to sup
port husband. ''-Boston Courier.
Authorization say the story has
merit. Then why do you hesitate
about taking it?'' Book publisher
''Why, you see, sir, you have not an
established reputation. You are not
widely known yet. The announcement
of story by you would not of itself be
sufficient to make a spontaneous de-
mand for it." Author-''I've fixed all
that. I have friend that is a book
reviewer, and as soon as my story ap.
pears he is to brand it at once as a
plagiarism from one of Zola's earlier
works. "-Chicago Tribune.
Had to Give 1t Up-Long- haired
Passenger Ito stranger)-''My friend
are you a commercial traveler?'
Stranger-''Yes, sir, and I'm making
lots OF money" Long-haired Passenge,
-"Ah, my young friend, there is some
thing to live for in this world beside
mere money, which moth and rust cor.
rupt and which thieves break through
and steal. was commercial man my
self once" Stranger-"Didn't yor
like the business?'' Long-haired Pas
senger-''Yes, but there wasn't any
money in it.''-ED0ck.