The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-02-01
PITH AND POINT.

PITH AND POINT.
Yes girls, this is leap year, but il b
well to look before you leap.-Binghan-
ton Republican.
Strange as it may apper, It is usually :.
cold day for man when he is ''fired. :"
B.ston Coarisr.
Evolution Tight boots made corn;
corn makes whisky; whi>ky makes q man
tight in his boots.-Boston Bulletin.
my name9 I. B. Smith. said a man,
at the hotel, whereupon the gentleman
addressed remarked with sweet smile:
$50 be l."
Hardly week passes but we are re-
minded that we are constantly sur
rounded BY perils seen and kerosene.
Springfield Union.
Leap till the last armed male expires;
Lean for your husbands and for sire6;
Leap for a chance 20 build the fires,
Fair ones throughout the lanH
-OI CITY Blizzurd
A South Carolina paper tells Of .
farmer in that State who has been at the
plow for sixty. eight years. It is time TO
call the old man to dinner.-AEa Cdts-
fJrniG.
The Young man who would waste
time kissing girls hand would eat tho
brown paper bag and leave the hot
house grapes for some one else.
ollie J0,.ranl. .-
The new Harlem Police Magistrate--
"What is your nameT' Vagrant-'Thas
shows you are green hand at the busi-
ness. All your predecessors knew my
name.-New York Mesc"ry. -
A scientist declares that the hsir carts
after death. Now, when you hear your
wife say that she's ''made pie that viii
make your hair curl" you'll know jass
what she means.-Sta Sapin. =
Hell declare, Miss Angelina, 700
treat me worse than your dog" She
so, Mr.. dc Mogyns, how can you say sos
I'm sure never make the slightest dill
ference betwe N you :"-Plncn.
What is the most religious portion OF
the body" asked Maudie the other day.
And no one guessing the answer, she
told it: The head, because it is be-
tween two temples. ."-Js1ist Messenger.
Life is real, life is earnest,
And the grave ia not its goal;
Dust thou buyest. dust thou burnest
That was oxen of the coal.
NEBRASKA State Journal
As soon az the German Crown Prince
was ''giveu up" by the docto he began
to grosy better. This shows that tho
doctors can cure a man if they only go
about it in the right way chicago
Times.
MIR. Taliafero, of Atlanta, Ga, says
that he has solved the problem OF per.
petual motion. Ho, ho; the conceit OF
some men. AS tho Ugh he was the only
man in America with ten year OLD ooy.
--Burdette.
An advertisement reads: "Wauted, q
Young man to he partly out OF doors ana
partly behind the counter" md young
iady has written to ask: "What will DO
the result when the door slams"-W
City BuzsarL
Ardently Obedient: Wife-''1s it true,
hubby. that alcohol will take stains out
of sjlk2n Hu.band-"le: dear" Wife
-"Wcll, plea breathe on these grease
snots. there's d.rling." He obeys and
burns hole in it.-7evs Topics.
THE LEVEL HEADED POET.
And thou art here again beau ti-fui snow'
With 10Y hail thy coming. but before
Iwrite a poem N thy pra se, I'll go
"A ehooal off the wa, * before my door.
-B,"o. Courier.
Father (who has given his CONSENT
II hope, young man, that you know the
value OF the prize You will get IN my
daurhter2' "ioung man-"Weil-eF
no sir don't know the exact value:
hut as near MS can find out it's in the
neighborhood of $,u,0OO.-Meu York
San.
THEY STILL DOT.
Said SIM tn to Jones. tell me, pray.
The re ,son-if YOU know it-why
The doctors d not bee.l to day
TheSr patients as in years gone tg'
They bleed just as they used to DO,
Said jones, these curers OF our Ills,
Not with their lancetS, it is true. -,
For now they bleed US with their bills.
B son Courier.
A pupil IN one of the pubic schools OF
this city complied recently in the follow
| inr manner with a rcque>t to write 8
composition on the sub t Of a phyiso-
locical lecture to VIII ch tho school had
inst listened: "The human body 10
made up of the head. thorax and the
abdomen. The head contains the brains,
when there is any The tholax contans
the heart and the lungs The abdomen
contains the bowels. OF which there arc
five, A. Z, l, ., U, and sometimes u
and Y.n- e. D..i'adelphia Item.