The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1888-08-02
MISCELLANEOUS.

to possess native intelligence while the
small thumbs indicate feeling.
Mr.. r. (furnisher and decorator)
Nov, sir, your house has the mag
nifcence of an oriental potentate, ex-
cept, of course, the-er-seraglio."
Mrs. Michael Van Flanagan (proudly
to her husband Unlike, dear, spare
no expense, let us have one. Life.
What Irregularities there must
have been to cause this! In the room
of railway depot in Iowa is the fol-
lowing placard over the clock: This
is clock; it is running; it is Chicago
time; it is right it is set every day at
ten o'clock. Now keep your mouth
shut"
Nancy Hanks Lincoln, the mother
of Abraham Lincoln, is buried on the
outskirts of Lincoln City, Ind. A plain
slab of marble about four feet high, al
most covered with grass and dogweed,
marks her grave. On the stone is the
inscription: Erected by a friend OF
her martyred son, 1879"
"A Maltese cat and large rattle.
snake had a fight in a yard at Albany,
Ga. Every time the snake would at
tempt to strike with it's wicked looking
fangs, the cat would give it a vigorous
slap on the side of the head and it
would be withdrawn. This lasted 70
fully an hour, when at last the Cas-
bounced upon the snake and killed it.
-Friend-"Was your uncle's viii
satisfactory to you, Brown" Brown
Perfectly so; I'm a lucky dog! He
left his entire fortune to an insane
asylum. - Friend-''You mean tina.
you are the unlucky dog" Brown
''No, | don't; the other relations are
going to contest the will and I'm t. be
the attorney. Life.
The health of New York compares
very unfavorably with that of London.
The annual mortality in the British
metropolis is about 20 in 1000, while in
New York it is 26 in 1000. The popu-
lation of New York is also much more
crowded, there being an average of 16
persons to dwelling, while in London
the average is only Z.
Servant maid-"Have you heard
the news, maam? Last night thieves
broke into a hen-pen in Long street,
and cleared out all the poultry" Mis-.
tress-''Serves them right, the stupid
people! Why don't they take proper
precautions; but where did this hap
pen?n Maid-''At No: r." Mistress
-''Why, that is our house?n Maid
Certainly; did not like telling you
at once for fear you might be startled!''
81 think" said the minister, who
was visiting the parishioner, ''that it is
easier to coax children than to drive
them. Gentle words are more effect
i've than harsh ones" 81 think so,
too" said the lady, tenderly. Then
she raised her window and suddenly
shouted to her boy: Johnnie, if you
don't come In out of that mud-puddle
I'll break your backr' Columbus Dis
patch.
Tits reported that ''devil fish, or
ocean vampire, weighing fully two
tons, was recently caught in fishing
seine on the Mexican coast near Tam
pico. When dead and spread out on
the beach it represented every appearance
of an enormous bat or vampire. 1t was
fifteen feet long and seventeen feet
wide from the edges of the pectoral
fins, and its mouth was FIVE feet
across.
An Office boy, fourteen years old,
recently ran off with $25 belonging tc
a London firm. In court he made this
statement: "Some time ago I went te
see Buffalo Bills Wild West and made
up my mind to go to America, and as
soon as / got the check cashed
started off, but, not having enough
money to take me to America, l fol
lowed the show. / still intend to go tc
America, and, even if l shall get ter
years for this offence, | shall go after.
| ward"
There is at Lone Pine, Inyc
| County, Cal, arock that might be east.
ly passed off for a petrifed elephant. A
photograph of the rock shows as like
as possible to the photograph of an
elephant. The trunk, the eyes, the
head and body are all as well formed
in the photograph as if the camera had
been turned to a living animal. The
wrinkles and folds in the skin of an
elephant and the color are all repeated
in the rock. The symmetry and pro-
portions of the living animal are re-
produced in this remarkable freak O
nature.
Vermont man (scornfully)-"Tex.
as? Why, man, Texas can't hold a
candle to Vermont. From men down
to fapjacks we're way ahead of you. u
Texas man-"Flapjacksp Flapiacks:
reckon you don't know watcher talk
in about, stranger. Didjever see a
Texas fiapjack-one of those fellers that
weighs fifteen pounds, and is ninety.
eight yards in ci'cumf' rence?" Yer
mont man (aghast) 80, come, now,
IlInhn3 Won ,,ouar sour 40 y; N