Morning journal and courier., 1888-11-19
ENN NPTY.

4 new story is called ''The Editors Purse. ]" There's nothing in it.-Psper Trade Journal.
 Waiter-"What kind of soup will you have, sirs' Democrat-"Confound you, shut upi Begin with the fish. ."-New York World
 A fashionable pair.- -Dudekins-"Aw,M Mis- tah Snip, are these trousers all woolf" Snip "An wool, MT. Dudekins, and yard wide. |" -Harper's Bazar.
 Mamma-"Well, did you tell God how naughty you have beenl" Lily-"Ne, was ashamed. I thought it had better not go out of the family. Life.
 Teacher-'1s America a large couutrya" Pupil-fT should think so. You can travel for hours together there without meeting 8 teacher. ."-Fiiegende Blatter.
 She-"John, you are not listening to 8 word am saying" He-"Why, my dear, I am all sars." She-"I know you are, and that makes it all the more provoking" D. Life.
 Gentleman in crowded street car (to lady just entering) Madam, permit me to offer you 6 seat" Lady (coolly taking seat)- " 'Bliged.n Gentleman (fFigidiy) )-'1 N'tsil; welk. Chicago Tribune.
 Hubby-eA bigger gas bill than we've ever had before, you say! Why, we've been burning lamps all this menth." Wiley "Yes, but the last time the gas man was here he saw the Ismps."-New York World.
 Clarence Knowles and a friend were walk ing down New York street when they pass- ed shoemaker's shop, over which was the name, "A. Sherry" "Good name that, said stitution.
 absurd, don't you think so. for 8 clergyman? One would think he owned the church. |" "Oh, don't know. He doesn't claim to own the church, but presume he considers himself soul agent. t."-Boston Transcript.
 Bobby-'sMa, is the church raising fund to send our minister to Europef" Mother "Yes, dear" Bobby-'tAnd will the church be closed while he is gone" Mother "Yes." Bobby-''Wsll, ma, can't I give that dollar I've saved up to the fundP'- Harper's Bazsr.
 ''I hear, MT. Broadbranes, that you have been elected mayor of your town" "You are correctly informed, sir stAnd do you intend to carry out the policy of your prede- cessor2' "Indeed do, sir. shall carry it out and deposit it on the garbage heap."- Yonkers Gazette.
 She wanted to take lessons in archery, but was very verdant. 'tHave you bow and a she hesitated, s'I have 8 beau, but haven't a culver any more. He's been coming for two months now and am used to it."- Washington Critic.
 "But what an awful lot O money these high toned travellers waste for drink" !" said Uncle Abner as he laid down his newspaper. GA man who'll pay $100 for saloon passage to England when he can go in the steerage for $2o is slave to rum-that's what say. J Bangor Commercial.
 Philadelphia girl-"I wonder what is the luckiest day to be married ona" Chicago sirl-Ohi Wednesday, by all means" "Are you sures" "Yes, indeed. My ma always gets married on Wednesday, and every time she gets divorce with ever 30 much alimo- ny."-Philadelphia Record. In New York Restaurant.-Proprieto (te recently engaged waiter)-"You will have to go; I can't keep you" New waiter-"What's the matterf' Proprietor-"Whenever a cus- toner asks yoa if the fish is fresh you get red in the face. You'd break up the whole busi- ness in a short time."-Texas Siftings. Not Guilty.-His honor-"The prisoner admits that he took the complainant's um- brells, but cannot hold him to be a guilty man. I remember the day upon which the alleged offense was committed. If he hadn't stolen the umbrella I should have been quite ready to commit him to the insane asylum. I-Harper's Bazar.