Morning journal and courier., 1888-06-08
COMPREHENSIVE.

= Belva A. Lockwood says "Man is compre- hensive term, embracing woman." Well, Belva is safe enough, 50 long as the man is permitted to select the woman he embraces. -Norristown Herald.
 Mamma" inquired Flossie, "didn't the minister say that got my eyes from you"
 "Yes, dear"
 "And you really used to have four eyes, mamma?"-Harper's Young People.
 The finest brand of all.-Customer (to waiter)-"Small bottle champagne, waiter" :" rich champagne, sirs" Customer 1earnestly) -''I say, waiter, bring me bottle rich enough to pay for itself. "-Life.
 The English sparrow.-Survivor of the blizzard (to park policeman) n)-"Why don't you help me drive those scarlet tanagers and orioles and yellowbirds off the groundsa Can't you see there ain't enough left of me to do it single-handed?"-Life
 Horace-I say, David, how old do you sup pose Miss Jones is? Her aunt says she's only twenty-one.
 David (who knows little of business)- Aw, yes, marked down from thirty-three; to be disposed of at bargain, don't you see.- Life.
 ffAre you familiar with Thaekeray's works, Miss Sooter?' asked Mir. Miles Standish of the Pittsburg girl, and she artlessly respond cQ, Sdu ' Shy budG aul OO uOG keep the run of half the foundries they are putting up in Pittsburg. ."-Boston Commercial Bull 1etin
 Fobbs-Yes, there are great many trials in an editors life.
 Dobbs-What makes you thank so?
 Fobbs-Well, 8 poor devil of an editor had to return a poem of mine the other day because he hadn't room to insert it, Town Topics.
 "W-i-ll-i-a-m Dean H-o-w-e-l-l B To- night, :" spelled 8 New York street gamin with one eye closed. "I soy, Dinny, who's dat bloike, Billy Dean?' questionedaa brother Arab at his side "Wot's it e howls for?'- Syracuse Standard.
 She-I am very sorry indeed, Henry, that I cannot be your wife, but I will be your sis- ter.
 He-Not much you won't, I am the only heir to my fathers estate, and you bet I don't intend to cut it in two for a made to- order sister.-Washingto Critic.
 Kind old lady-Little boy. wouldn't you like to go to Sunday schoo2 a.sd learn to be good!
 Little boy-No'm; i: '. = rain nay reper- tashun.
 Kind old lady-Ruin your rsputation9
 Little boy-Yes'm; I'm known 'fthe bad boy of the block. ."-Puck.
 'Doctor, near that BrlgspT mas etarteO new paper"
 t'So am told, but haven't seen a copy"
 .'He told me the other day that it would be bold and aggressive. wonder if it's that kind of sheet?'
 'sI guess it is. I sewed up scalp wound for him this morning. ."-Lincoln Journal.
 A disconsolate wife.-"I don't believe in these secret societies." said one Austin lady to another. 'FThat's very strange" replied the other; "your husband is Forester, a Knight of Pythias and Knight of Honor. and you will have at least SIG, ,000 when he dsss." "6ut what good does all that do me-" was the fearful response, "when he never dies?" and the poor creature burst into tears.-Texas Siftings.
 In the Gladstone Spring Time.-They were young lovers, and as they strolled through the Ramble in Central Park, the future looked very bright and pleasant to them. ''That is dogwood tree, my love-" he said touching it lightly with his stick. "Hew do you know that is dogwood tree, George, dearg' 1T can tell by it's bark, my darling, !" and then a policeman ordered them off the grass, and they were very, very happy Life