davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09
They Mixed These Ingallses Up.
From the Ne,o York World.

From the NeJ1 York World
PITTsBuRG, May 4.-Upon the arrival Of the
noon train from the East to-day, over the Penn
sylvania railroad, a rumor that Senator Ingalls,
was on board was circulated.
rs Senator Ingalls, on this trainf" was asked
of the Pullman porter.
Yes sah dat's him, b" and the son of Africa
pointed TO a military looking gentleman seated
in the smoker. Approaching the gentleman, the
reporter said:
Are you Senator Ingalls?"
Yes, sir (grufly)
Where are you bound for?"
''St. Louis, (more Rruffly)
Your debate with Senator Voorhees,, Of In
diana, the other day
Look here young man, are you reporter"
Yes Sir"
well, then, you have made a big mistake. l
am Senator Joe ingalls,, of the Senate Club, and
not Senator ingalls,, of Kansas. l think he's a
fool and it makes me mad to have anybody mis-
take me for him"
The reporter left.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09
BRIGHT BITS.

TIE most reliable weather report-a clap of
thunder.-BurIington Free Press.
THE only time an Anarchist has his heart In
his work is when 1t rises to his mouth.-NeIC
HoUen Register
In ITs FAvoR-There is a difference bet ween
storm that is due and n note that is due. The
storm sometimes fails to connect.-LJe.
THE doctors now have a new heart tonic
oxypropy Notwithstanding. The dose is a syl-
liable three times day before eating.-SOn1eT-
UitLe Journal
TEAcHER-What was the cause of Abers
deathY
Smart Boy foot of cass)-Shortness of
Observation-Disclosures can.
MISS Al find your friend quite entertaining
when he forgets himself. Is he an American
or an EngliShman?
Mr.. B.-Neither He's a Bostonian.-Life
AN unpopular youth from Cologne,
With pain in his stomach did mogne;
He heaved a great sigh
And said, 81 would digh,
But the loss would be only my Ogne. Life
"WILL you please give me something, sr?"
begged a tramp.
Certainly" responded the gentleman i'm
portuned; I'm Police Justice, and if you will
step around to my office I'll give you thirty
days. Life.
CoUNTRYMAN to furniture dealer)-I want to
git bed and a mattress.
Dealer-Yes, sir. Spring bed and spring
mattress, s pose sir.
Countryman-No; want the kind that kin
be used all the year round.-Epoch.
MRS. FOUNDER who has been having a wrest-
ling match with the keyboard of the piano.
Have you a sensitive musical ear, Mr.. Tympa-
mum?
NIr. I. (more candid than polite)-Yes, 1 am
sorry TO say have.-BoStO1t Budget
WOMAN to tramp)-Now that you've had a
good dinner, can't you do something for it'll
Tramp-Well, dunno. l want to do what's
right. If you've got any letters to mail I'll
square man, madam.-Net0 York Sun.
Mrs. M1NKs-Has your daughter made good
match.
Mrs. Winks-she married nice man.
BLESS her heart. And SO she has married
rich?"
"Richf"
Yes; you said she married an ice man.
Omaha World.
Coon STORIES Of the Bishop of London are not
rare. The other day an incumbent of the
diocese began to congratulate the Bishop on his
recovery from recent indisposition. Il am
very pleased, my lord, " he commenced. what,
sir, sternly Interrupted the Bishop; You may
be much pleased but no educated Englishman
was ever very pleasedw Then, as the poor
parson turned away like a cretstfallens school
boy, the great man remarked to the curate
with solemn affability-"Whata an awfully jolly
day 1t has beenN-ErchdnQe.
GENTLEMAN IN UPPER MANsIoN-Mrs Mort
arty, would yez be SO kind as to lend me the
loan of this bottle fnll of liquor? I'm a goin'
to bate the ould CONAN, an / haven't got the
heart to do it whilst I'm sober Life.
1T IL stated that over 10000 American pianos
have been shipped to Russia in the last ten
years. This will explain why so many Russian
Anarchists come to this country The outlaws
are laboring under the comforting delusion
that all the pianos in this country have been
sent to RuSsia.-NO1TistotUB Herald.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09

rFOHt Tue DctfOtt rFec IFeSS.
"You know the defendant in this case do
your asked Kansas lawyer of a female native
of the soil
know which?" she asked
THE defendant, Jake Lynch"
'Do know Jake LynchY"
YES"
"You want to know If know Jake LynchY
well, if that amt good one Why, mister, the
Lynch family an
Cant you say yes or nov
why, Jake Lynch'smother an my step-dad's
father was once first cousins, an"
Then you know him?'
"Why, Jake Lynchg Me know Jake LynchP
You're stranger in these parts, amt your
That has nothing to do with the case II
you know Jake Lynch, say So"
III know him Lemme tell you that Jake
Lynch's birthday and my brother Hiram's is on
the same day, an -"
"You know him, of course, them"
"Who-Jnke Lynchg Ask Jake if know him !
Ask him If he was ever interdooced to Betty
SHELTON"
II don't care to ask him any thing. simply
want TO ask you If Jake Lynch is known to you
personally"
"Pussonly? Well, | don't know what Won
mean by 'pussonly, but If you want to know if
| know Jake an il he knows me, can tell you
in mighty few words Jake Lynch's father an
my father"
NOW, want you 20 say yes or nov
Thought you wanted me to say il l knew
Jake Lynch"
That's Just what do want"
We'll, then, femme alone an I'll tell you all
about it. Jake Lynch was born in Injeeany an
| was born in the same county an"
And of course you know himg"
"Who-Jake Lynch? Do know Jake Lynch
when the very boss he rid here on was one he
traded my man a span of young steers forY
Why, man, Jake's wife was Ann Elizy Skiff an
her an me is the same age TO a day an"
That will do. see that you do know him. "
Know himy Know Jakef Why man.
THAT will do"
"Why, was married on a Chewsday an Jake
was married the next day. an his oldest boy
an my oldest girl is most the same age, an
THAT will do"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09
Why Opera Singers Are Corpulent.

The corpuIency of opera singers a member of
the profession notes, Is not the result of lazi-
ness or overindulgence in food or drink. He
quotes a celebrated tenor, who says: 1T is a
kind of light, windy flesh, | look as soggy and
heavy as an elephant, but feel as light as
cork. | often disguise and dance in the ballet
for the fun of the thing My constant habit is
to breathe free and full, asleep or awake, and
people with little, withered up stomachs no
bigger than your hand, but they are fools, and
don't know how to live. Why, an opera man
ager can tell whether yon are good singer or
men as he can by hearing your voice. In APP
plying for engagement a singer always sends
his waist measure and the manager invariably
requests it."
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09
INDEX TO new ADVERTISEMENTS

MEETINGs-Pulasld Loan Association; The
Merchants and Mechanics Loan Association;
Republican Blues Magnolia Encampment No.
T. l. o. o. F.; Golden Rule Lodge No. IL, /. o..
O. F.
SPECIAL NoTIcEs-Prof. P. NJ. Whitman,
Graduate Optician; Bananas, etc, j. S. Collins
g. Co.; Notice to Picnic Committee X. p.
STEAMSHIP SCHEDULES Ocean Steamship Co.;
Baltimore Steamship Co.
SUMNER REsoRTs-Mrs. Bergers, al East
Twenty second street, New York.
WHOLESALE GRoCERs-Grady, DeLettre & Co.
CHEAP COLUMN ADvERTIsEMENTs-Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent; For
Sale Found; Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09
Registered at the Post ogfce in Savannah


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Letters and kilograms should be addressed
'MoRNINa News, Savannah, Ga"
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The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09
To a Chic OF q Girl.

If you do not want my praise,
Why thus haunt me with your face,
With those eyes SO full of fire,
Tempting 80 with wild desire
To possess you all my own.
Call you mine and mine alone
If you do not want my praise.
Why thus haunt me with your face?
If you do not want my kiss,
Why approach SO near, my miss?
Tempting me with lips so charming.
Faith, fair girl, l see no harm in
Tasting sweets that highly please me,
Tho they only there to tease me,
If you do not want my kiss,
Why approach so near, my miss?
If you do not want my love,
Stay away, my pretty dove.
Tempt me not with smiles so bright,
Smiles that make life's burden light;
Tempt me not with SO sweet beauty,
Else Iamay forget my duty.
If you do not want my love,
Stay away. my pretty dove.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09

Senator Sherman's henchman in Tennes-
see is named Archibald Hughes, and he
lives in Maury county, that State. Maury
county, however, lidiSss either Mr.. Hug les
or Senator Sherman, perhaps both and re-
fusei TO be instructed for tho perpetual
candidate from the neutrality-suspicious.
State, and it is now asserted that Tennessee
will give at least half her delegates to
Blaine. Sherman has been disappointed so
often that the experience is not as bitter as
1t used W DO.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09

some of the Republican organs are trying
to make it appear that Senator-elect Bar
bour, of Virginia, is lacking in political
sagacity. They represent him as saying
that he hasn't much hope Of Virginia gong
Democratic next fall that Democratic sue
cess depends more on Republican dissensions
than on anything else. The organs which
printed this stuff ought to have known
better. Mr.. Barbour is an old hand in Vir-
ginia politics; he has managed number of
campaigns, and he knows that whenever
the Democrats are aroused and properly
looked after they carry the day. He did
not say anything like that which is at
tributed to him.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09

Senator voorhees, doubtless feels better
than he has for the last week. He has
apologized to the Senate for his bad Ian
guage in his debate with Senator ingalls,,
and there is decided improvement in the
condition Of the carbuncle on his leg. II he
hadn't been suffering from bad carbuncle
probably he would not have made the mis-
take of using bad language. A carbuncle
is not only troublesome but is apt to get one
into trouble.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09

One more Congressman announces his
intention to retire, and his name is Edmund
Rice, from the Fourth Minnesota district
Mr.. Rice is 20 years old He has held
various political offices since 1851, and de-
clines denomination on the ground that his
age would prevent him from doing justice
TO so large and important constituency as
his is. OF course he is Democrat No
Republican would decline as long as he
could be elected
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09

Mr.. Randall has expected all along to
speak during the tariff debate, but it begins
TO look like he will not be able to do so. He
has been suffering for some time with
physical ailrnent requiring surgical ope-
rauons, and is in a somewhat weak con-
dition His friends fear he will have to
abandon the idea Of flooding the House
with his eloquence and his high tariff
theories. This would be great disappoint-
nent to the Republicans.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09

After all, it seems that the late Senator
Logans remains will not be removed to
Chicago, but win rest in Rock Creek Gene
terry, Washington, while longer, and will
then be deposited in a tomb that is now
being constructed, the location of which
will be either at the Soldiers Home at Ar
lington, or at one of the private cemeteries
of the city.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09

Gen. Boulanger's book on the German in
vasion is said to have brought him $40, 900
already. Probably it was the thought of
the profits that encouraged him when he
recalled that old expression, "Oh, that mine
enemy would write book"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09

Mrs. Folsom, the Presidents mother-in-
law, is expected to arrive in New York
sooD. Now the gossips will renew their as
sertions that she is TO marry Secretary Bay
ard, and Mr. Bayard will get after the gos-
sips with long pole
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09

Senator Ingalls, thinks that his attack on
Senator VOORHEES, has gwen his party in
Indiana an issue. 1t is an ISSUE however,
that Senator Voorhees, has knocked the spots
out of SO often that few Indiana Repub-
lcans will care to monkey with IL
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09

There seems to be disposition on the
part of some of John Sherman's fellow
Senators to bore a hole in his Presidential
boom. It is so completely embodied in the
bloody shirt that it is rather strange that
they should want to disturb it,
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09
Tennessee Is Safe, Of Course.

From the Nashville Democrat tDem.)
1t will make but little difference one way or
the other, who the Republican nominee for the
Presidency will be, 80 far as Tennessee is CON
cerned Cleveland will carry the State by an old
time majority; mark that
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09

Mr.. Alfred Barnes, who was 50 years old,
and who, with number of others who have
lately passed away, was the Oldest Free
Mason in the world, died in Mexico, Mo.
the other daY
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09

The burning question IN Washington now
Is whether or not Mr.. Fuller shall be per-
mitted to wear his moustache if he is con-
firmed as Chief Justice. Some say it must
be sacrificed to the demands of judicial de-
corum, but the probabilities are that it will
continue to grace the upper lip of the Chief
Justice long after he has put on the judicial
robe
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09

Senator Blair will have to bury his pet,
the educational bill, until another session
of Congress; but the Senator is pugnacious,
and it may be depended on that the last has
not been heard of the bill
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09
The Republican Assets.

From, the Mem York Herald Qnd)
With such an outlook the Republican party
may be regarded as in liquidation. The national
convention will meet to name a receiver. The
assets are not encouraging dreary lot of
assets, We are afraid and may we'll be described
as remnants, misft3, secondhand garments and
goods damaged by the storms.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09
Thinking of Blaine.

From the Memphis Avalanche (Den,.)
A Georgia negro when asked by teacher the
other day to write ont a definition on writing,
scrawled upon the page, writing is the repre-
sentation of the human voice in the eleventh
part of a man" His mind was evidently run
ming on Blaine
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09

FANNIE. with a rich noodle for husband. to
Katherine, who is the wife Of a poor but brainy
man--Where are you living now, Katie dearY
katherne-Ina nice little fiat on a quiet
street.
Fannie-In fiat on quiet street, Perfectly
dreadful, isn't it. dearS
Katherlne-I can't say that il is. If / had my
choice, Fannie, dear. to live in fat or live
with fiat, am sure Id choose the former
Washington Critic.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09
CURRENT COMMENT.
Now for the Stage Coach.

From the Baltimore american (ReD.)
Savannah has followed the lead of another
Georgia city, and abandoned standard for local
time. return from steam railways TO the
stage coach may now be expected.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09

The unterrified Democracy of the Empire
State will speak with no uncertain voice to-
day at Atlanta for Cleveland and tariff re-
form
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09

Who is this W. 7. Coleman, of San Fran
cisco, who figures in such a big failure!
Can it be possible that he is William Tell
Coleman, who has been asked to hold so
many offices, but has refused them all, and
who is said to be SO eminently fitted for
Presidents If they are one and the same,
another Presidential boomlet has burst
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09

All subscriptions payable in advance and
no paper will be delivered beyond the time
paid for. Special attention will be given to
Weekly and Monthly subscriptions, and
subscribers can make arrangements, if they
desire, to pay subscriptions at their resi-
dences, or places of business, avoiding the
inconvenience of calling at the Business
Office
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09

LANDLADY-Mr. Shortcommons, let me help
you want you to keep me in countenance,
Mr.. Shortcommons (bitterly)-It would be as
easy for me TO keep you in vctuals as TO keep
don't run either q provision store or a brass
foundry,--.Tndn~
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09

We are too busy TO write up our
usual advertisement this week, but
just look out for us in Sundays
paper. BYCK BROS.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09
The Morning News in the City.

The terms for the DAILY MORNING NEWS,
delivered every day, in any part of the City,
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-05-09
She Knew Him.

From the Detroit Free Press
"You know the defendant in this case. do
your asked Kansas lawyer of female native
of the soil
The South western news. (Dawson, GA.) 188?-1889, 1888-02-01
DEHTH OF THE YOUNG WIFE.
By Mrs. NJ L Raype.

- The doctor has Just told him and
he has gone into the little parlor
and closed the door. All the room
is suggestive OF her who is lying
dying in the chamber above, Her
bird is singing in its cage at the
window as merrily as If sorrow were
unknown IN the world. The room
is flooded with the warm sunlight.
full Of life and radiance, little in
concinance with the dessolate heart
of the man standing there alone.
Her birds, her books. her loung,
ing chair. the touch and design
that make a home, are hers. Her
living presence seems to animate
the common things, and makes
them gracious and loving like her,
self. And it is only brief twelve
month since she stood there a bride,
and listened to her husbands proud
welcome to their home, Now she
lies yonder-dying, dying.
And he how can he bear it?
How do men bear in their undisci.
plined character the mighty shock
of such grief as this? Oh, if he
The South western news. (Dawson, GA.) 188?-1889, 1888-02-01
McKS0g AND THURMAN.
Z bertoa Leqder.1

IL 0eFt0" Leader.
Somebody has sent us in pamph.
let form, letter from Henry r.
jackson of Georgia to Allen G.
Thurman of Ohio. 1t is signifs
cant and outspoken, and handles
Thurman with gloves off. l have
not any where nor at any time
seen more complete and dignifed
retutstlon of an unjust charge and
lowilung SANDER. In these DAYS of
malignant malice on the part Of
Norfheners, and apologize profess
tahons on the part of quite too
many Southerners, it is refreshinp
to come across something like this
letter of Jackson's.
Ofcourse we are all familiar with
the uptoar caused three months
ago by some of Mr.. Jackson's ut
terances IN his address to the Con.
tederate veterans at Macon. A
most luxurious and unearthly howl
was set up by Northern papers. and
an occasional Accompaniment nv
tender-footed Southern journals
San Jones rertinen, ex r, ssiors
''it is the hi dog that yelps," ws,
abpndantly verified. Big dogs at
The South western news. (Dawson, GA.) 188?-1889, 1888-02-01
THE JACKET OF GREY.

Fold it up carefully, lay it aside
Tenderly touch it, look on it with
pride;
For dear must it be to our hearts
evermore,
The jacket of grey our loved SOL
dier-boy wore.
Can we ever forget it when he join
ed the brave band
Who rose in defense Of our dear
Southern land.
And in his bright youth hurried
into the fray,
How proudly he donned it, e.the
jacket of grey,
His fond mother blessed him, and
looked up above,
Commenting to heaven the child
of her love.
What anguish was hers mortal
tongue cannot say,
When he passed from her sight in
the jacket of grey.
But her country had called, land she
would not repine,
though costly sacrifice placed on
its shrine.
Her hearts dearest hope on its al.
tar she lay,
When she sent out her boy in the
jacket Of grey.
Months passed and wars thunders
rolled over the land;
Unsheathed was the sword and
lighted the brand;
We heard in the distance the sound
Of the fray,
And prayed for our boy in The
jacket Of grey.
All! vain, all vain were our pray
ers and our tears,
The glad shout of victory rang III
our ears.
But our treasured one on the bat
tie field lay,
While the life blood oozed on tn,
jacket of grey.
His young comrades found him
end tcnderly bore
The cold, llfelcss form to his HON,
by the shore.
oh, dari, were orr hearts on thar
terrible day,
When WE saw our dead boy in tho
jacket of grey.
All! spattered and tattered, anC
stained now with gore
Was the garment which once he Sc
proudly wore;
We bitterly wept as we took il
away.
And replaced with deaths white
robes the jacket of grey.
We laid him to rest in his cold,
narrow bed,
And engraved on the marble we
placed DER his head,
AS the proudest tribute our sad
hearts could pay,
lie never disgraced the jacket Of
of grey.
Then fold it up carefully lay il
aside.
Ienderly touch 1t, look on it with
pride,
For dear must it be to our hearts
evermore,
The jacket of grey our loved soli
dier-hoy wore.
CAROLINE A. BALL
The South western news. (Dawson, GA.) 188?-1889, 1888-02-01
LEGION OF HONOR.
MASONIC.

PIT Schley Lodge, No 229 F A
81. j M Simmons, w NJ; H S
Bell, Secretary; T R Hannah,
treasurer. Meets 3rd Saturday
night in each month.
A WRENCH R A CHAPTER, NO 40.
E Believer, H P
King; w D urray, Scribe; j c
F Clark, Secretary. Meets End
Saturdaynight in each month.
The South western news. (Dawson, GA.) 188?-1889, 1888-02-01
KNIGHTS OF HONOR

Dawson Lodge, No 1851 NJ
Simmons, Dictator; H S Bell, Re-
portor; T r Hannah, Financial
Reporter; A ] Baldwin, Treasurer.
Meets End and 4th Friday night
in each month.