davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-05-17
What Swapping is That.

"What swapping is that?" said new
attorney in the Superior Court about
noon hour, while the trial of a case was
in progress.
''That is the swapping of watch cases
by attaches Of the court and others
who desire to call the attention of the
Court to the clock. He is hearing a
case, and is apparently utterly obliv-
ious of the time of day. He never
looks around at the clock, but faces
toward the attorneys. That clock is
always about ten minutes fast. l think
the clock is kept fast because it takes
about ten minutes to attract the atten-
ton of the Court, and he is even then
in no hurry about adjourning. Well,
along about 11:55 the clerk, who is
longing for lunch, takes out his watch
and, CHANGING at the clock, snaps the
case together. This is repeated for
several times at intervals of five min
utes. The bailiff then pulls out his
Waterbury and snaps the case. If
the Court does not look at the clock
then the shorthand reporter comes to
the rescue. He has got watch case
that when it is closed with a snap
sounds like a small pistol shot. His
watch usually attracts the desired at
tention and the court is adjourned.
San Jose NerS
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-05-17

posed to her she declared he must do
something poetioal for her.
Dearest. what can do?'
Become q poor artist"
4 couldn't be any other kind of an
artist
Il mean you must pretend to be
poor artist. Pa does not know you. You
must come and make love to me, and
[ will fall in love with you. Pa viii
object and make 4 row. We will
elope and get married, and when it is
all over we'll tell him, and it will be
delightful"
And so be became a poor artist and
took a poor studio, and daubed on
canvas and pretended to paint pic
lures. And there was another mill
ionaire's daughter got to coming to
his studio and sitting for her picture.
In those delightful little tete-a-tetes he
forgot all about the romantic maiden,
and when the romantic maiden came
one night in peasant costume as sweet
surprise TO run away with MIN she
found he was married to the other
girl and had gone off on his honey
moon. She thinks that romances are
all lies now, and that nothing hap"
pens in real life as it happens in books.
She's about right. = San Francisco
Chronicle
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-05-17
Authors Mons de Plume.

Whitelaw Reds pseudonym is
agate"
Artemus Wards real name was
Charles F. Browne.
Charles Dickens was known first to
fame as ''Boz," name he owed to the
lisping tongue of a younger brother.
Charles Lambs quaint essays were
printed over the name of ella"
''Gath' in private life is George Al
fred Townsend.
Washington Irving had two mons de
plume Diedrich Knickerbocker and
Geoffry Crayon.
Hugh Conway's novels have been
read by everybody, butfew know that the
writer's real name was f. S. Fargus
Who has not reveled with ELK Mar
vel' in the ''Reveries of a Bachelor"
but how many know that Xix Marvel
is Mr.. Donald G. Mitchell, who still
lives and occasionally writes?
zone of the Fools is no less a per-
sonage than Judge A. w. Tourgee,
whose ''Fool's Errand'' brought him
fame.
"Oliver Optic" the boys favorite,
was w. /. Adams
Mr.. B. 2. Shillaber, of Boston, sailed
into fame as Mrs. Darlington"
"Ouida" is Madame Louisa de Ia
Rame.
Marion Harland, the popularnovelist,
is Mrs. NJ v Terhune
Henry W. Longfellow once wrote
over the name of Joshua Coffin.n
James Whitcomb Riley is known as
the ''Hoosier Poet" He contributed
some of his earlier pieces to the In
dianapolis Journal under the name of
Samuel johnson, of Boone"
''Owen Meredith"i is the pseudonym of
Lord Lytton.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-05-17
The ArtfII CSnvasser.

[ went straight to the minister's
house, on reaching Sleepyyille (said a
canvasser for a religious weekly.
Never think of going anywhere else
first, my boy, if you are canvassing for
religious paper. The minister was
a nice fellow, and booked him early
in the day. He pressed me to stay to
supper. 1t was warm, the minister
was entertaining, his quarters COM
Portable, so | stayed. After supper the
minister had to go to prayer meeting.
1t was not my cue to refuse. went.
After there had been some praying
done and hymn had been sung, the
minister rose and looking at me said:
eve viii now ask Brother mean
ing me, ''to lead in prayer
[ thought mighty quick for about ten
seconds; my thinking fywheel flew
around. 1t was question of policy l
was debating in that interval. Then I
said: 'sFor a reason which I shall be
very glad to explain after the meeting
is over, / must beg to be excused from
leading the prayers"
The pastor accepted my declination
gracefully and called upon someone
else. AlLGE luG IucGllHS was over Il
went up to the minister and said:
''The reason [ did not accept your kind
invitation to lead in prayer was that l
was afraid my motives might be mis-
understood. You see my business is
to obtain subscriptions for a certain re-
ligious paper. If 1 had led in prayer
some members of your congregation
would have been sure to have suspect
ed me of trying to advertise my papers
in church. Neither l nor my employ
ers would tolerate such suspicion for
a moment
The minister was profuse in his
praise of my straightforward methods.
I think he must have said something
about the matter to his congregation,
for, with hardly an exception, they
subscribed for the paper.
Verify, virtue is its own reward
PittS6urq Dispatch.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-05-17
a Startling Thought.

Miss Blank is teacher in the Girls
Latin School. In teaching anatomy
she uses the articulated skeleton of a
girl, and beginners in the study of
anatomy in Miss Blanks class are usu-
ally very much impressed by her
familiarity with the to them awesUme
object. Not long ago new girl in
the class sat through the lesson in a
sort of stupefed silence, gazing fear
fully at the grinning skeleton and
amazedly at the teacher who handled
it with such serene composure. When
the lesson was over the new girl, max
ing a frightened detour around the
skeleton, approached Miss Blank, and
in horrible thrilling whisper in
CURED:
''Is that the skeleton of a Latin
School girl or High School grip"
Miss Blank was obliged to confess
ignorance on that vital point. = Bos-
ton Commonwealth.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-05-17

| is the grandmother of 126 children, 1O9
of whom are still living; the great
grandmother of 24O, 210 of whom are
still living; the great. great grand
mother of ninety-six, and seventy-fiye
of these latter are still living; making
in all 479 descendants, 406 of whom
are yet alive.
a mouse on a telegraph wire, high
above the street, was the novel sight
witnessed in San Francisco recently.
When he got thirty feet away from the
telegraph pole the mouse grew very
timid and scarcely advanced at all. At
length he grew holder, and finally
made the distance of over three hun
dred feet to the next pole. a child
explained the mystery of the mouse's
queer journey by narrating how
black-and-tan dog had pursued it,
making it take to the pole. When the
mouse had completed its dangerous
mid-air trip he climbed down the pole
and stepped on the hand of locker
on, who carried him away in triumph.
The mouse did not object to the pro-
ceeding at all. His spirit seemed COM
pletely broken by the terrors of his
haunt,
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-05-17
A Dogs Ride Down a FIume.

Barney Cusick. when he came down
from the mountains about month ago,
left his dog Nero at the mills. The dog
was the constant companion of the
children in the summer during their
rambles over the hills, as well as at
home. and they missed their foor-foot-
ed playmate. Mr.. Cusick according
ly wrote to the boys at the mill, ask
ing them to send the dog down as soon
as possible. Not wishing to wait Il
week or 50 for the stage, tie men built
a raft and on top of it made a large
box and placed some hay in the bottom
Nero was put in, and the raft started
on its forty-mile trip. Mr.. Cusick
was telephoned, and three hours after
the starting of the raft, took the dog
safe and sound from the flume, and
last night he was again at home with
his little friends Chico (Cal) Enter
mise,
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-05-17
Buying Curiosities.

There is an eastern gentleman stay
ing at the Palace hotel who has been
buying numberless California curiosi-
ties. He intends taking back with
him an Irish setter, which was born
on ranch in Santa Clara county; al
so a COW and horse He now wants
20 buy a nice little China boy. He
says he is willing to pay $500 for the
same. He says that Langtry bought
Chinese boy here, and so have sever
al of his friends. and why should he
not have one? He promises to dress
the boy in sky-blue silk trousers, a gay
green silk coat, black and gold silk
cap, and have his hair braided with
scarlet silk. 1t has been suggested 10
him that he pay a visit to Consul Bee,
as he is about tie best Chinese inter-
prefer in San Francisco.-SGn Fran
CISCO Post.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-05-17
A Thoroughly Partisan Incident.

A remarkable case of woman's ven
geance has just been disclosed. A
young artist, who is comparatively
well-known, lived for a time with a
miliiner, who for some months has
been dying of consumption. During
her illness a female friend used to
visit her and sit by her bedside. The
patient soon perceived that an in
trigue was on foot between her lover
and the friend. Accordingly she
raised herself suddenly in bed one
evening while the pair were talking
near and pushed a petroleum lamp on
them. The flames caught the dress
of tie hated rival, and she was almost
burned TO death. When the neigh
bors came the dying oman told them
that she had fully intended to set the
room on fire so that she, her lover,
and her rival might perish in the
flames. Letter.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-05-17
Not an Encouraging Answer.
"Granny, echar YOU gwinep1

q =
The speaker was poor puny little
pickaninny, black as the ace of spades,
who trudged YEARLY along, almost
bowed double beneath the weight of
an immense bundle of soiled clothes
for the wash.
Granny, " an immense body. with
sable visage, poutIng lower lip, and
savage aspect, turned sharply round
and confronted the widows mite.
"Whar | gwine? Whar gwine? I
amt gwine tell you whar | gwine.
You aPays akin, War e gwine? whar
e gwine? l gwine whar 1 gwine-
OATS whar gwime. 'Whar e gwine?
whar e gwine? al'ays akin, 'Whar e
gwineP' l amt gNine tell e whar
gwine."
1t is needless to say that no further
information was ELECTED, or in fact de-
sired. turner's NaQGzjne
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-05-17
She Was Christian Scientist and
Yet.

Enter Mrs. Adipose (pufing)-I de
clare believe I get heavier every day.
l shall soon be unable to come up those
stairs at all.
The lecture was lovely, John; / do
wish you would take the course. You
would soon be rid ofthose rheumaticky
fancies of yours. We count the flesh
as nothing. Every sensation is only
the reflection of thought.
"How cold it is here! What made
you let the fire all get DOWN. Hand
me my felt slippers, and then tell Jane
to bring me some hot tea and toast.
| am really quite worn out from com
bining so much mental and physical
effort. "-Judge.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-05-17

Californians have a method of pre-
serving fruit without sugar so that it
will keep sound and fresh for years.
The recipe is as follows: Fill clean, dry
wide-mouthed bottles with fresh, sound
fruit; add nothing, not even water
Be sure that the fruit is we'll and close
ly packed in, and ram the cOrks-of
best quality - tightly down into the
neck of the bottles until level with the
glass. Now tie the corks down tight
with strong Irvine, and after putting
the bottle into bags stand them into a
pan or boiler of cold water Let the
water reach not quite to the shoulder
of the bottles. Let the fire be moder-
ate, and bring the water to boiling.
Boil gently for ten minutes, remove
from the fire and allow all to cool.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-05-17
Romance in High Life.

She was romantic. Her father was
millionaire whose life had been de-
voted TO sausage raising. He was
practical naturally. but all the poetry
of her family was right in her. She
was beloved by another millionaire's
son, but she had been reading ro-
mances and stuff. and when he pro-
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-05-17

Recently two parties were to be held
on the same evening in South Stan
hope, and unfortunately the same peo-
pie received invitations. As if by COM
mon impulse they all gathered at one
house, which SO angered the other
would-be host that he went to the
house of his party" opponent, and by
means of threats and a liberal use of
stones succeeded in compelling the
pleasure seekers to come to his house,
where gay time was had until morn
inc
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-05-17

The Rev. AE6oinette Brown Black
well now lives in Elizabeth, n. J.
Just how old she is none of her friends
seem to know, but her sweet, mother
Iy face will keep her young-looking
for a generation yet. She was the first
woman in this country to prepare for
and regularly enter upon the ministry,
and lives to be called the mother of
the women preachers.
Song of the English bellboy: 81
would not live haIi-ways."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-05-17

The Peruvian Government invites
offers for the introduction of the tele-
phone III that country.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05
Mineral Mater.

Persons desiring to get mineral
water from the prospecting well can
do so by applying at Theo. Griffith:
store, price % cents per barrel; or il
you wish, you can get it at the well
free of cost. It is desired that all
persons using the water make a re.
port to the secretary of the prospect
ing company.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

The man who never reads poll
tics" may as well swear off reading the
newspapers for the next few months.
The man who always reads politics"
should get his name on our subscrip-
ton list, as quick as he can, if not al
ready there.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

Look out now for the item relating
to fatalities resulting from poisoned
ice cream or lemonade at the 4th Of
July picnic.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

How NJ ouch money did the citizens
of Great Bend turn over to the cir
Gus the last two days? Would not an
expenditure of an amount equal to
that paid into the circus, in fire. works,
brass band and other entertainment
for the public have pleased the people
of the country fully as well? We
have no objection to make to the ex-
cellent show, but would like our peo-
pie to understand what ought to have
been done.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

Harvest will soon be over, and af
ter threshing is finished our people
will be surprised to see the great
amount of wheat that will be mar,
keted from this country.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

A Great Bend bachelor said the
other day he was a firm believer in
''luck." When asked why he believed
that way, he said he had been refused
five times by as many different young
ladies, when young.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

S. B. Shotner has rented the
James Mcdonald billiard hall, on
south Main street, and will be pleased
to see his friends there.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

John B. Duchesne, father of Peter
Duchesne of Buffalo township, and of
Mrs. Jacob Radiger of Eureka town
ship, is here on visit from Lakin,
Illinois.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

Great Bend is still without fire
alarm bell. Was there not arrange
ments made to have bell purchased
and put in working order 2
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

Let every democrat in Great Bend
attend to having his name on the reg
istration books. These books are
now open at :his Office and will be so
up to within ten days of the Novem-
Der election.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

A handsome, new school building
in district No. 80, southeast of Ellin-
wood, was dedicated on Saturday
evening. There was, we are told, a
good crowd in attendance, and a
pleasant time enjoyed.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

g. L. Kerr was out in the nortl
part of the county Friday putting
some of the Great Bend cigars on thu
market.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

Washburn College, at Topeka
Kansas, admits both sexes and is one
of the best colleges in the state. The
fall term begins September 18th.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

We want a few bushels of potatoes,
and some subscriber who is in arrears,
or some man who wants to become a
subscriber to this paper, has the finest
opportunity in the world to supply
our wants.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

For the next two weeks Mrs. Hale
will make duplicates from Mrs. Gains
ford's or her own negatives for 81
per dozen.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

Soon the "hello, hello!" craze vii
have possession of our town. The
telephone wires are now almost al
strung, and the instruments ready tx
put in.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

Mr.. j. A. Bland has been making
a tour of several parts of the county
the last few days, and adding to our
subscription list. He finds farmers
very busy, either in the harvest fields
or tending corn.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

An advertisement in good news
paper, such as the DEMOCRAT, is
worth more to a business man than
all the signs tackled to bridges and
fence posts. This is No new discov-
cry. and the knowledge is impaired
without charge.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

Mrs. A. B. Miller, who was called
by telegram, left Thursday morning
for the sick bed of her mother.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

Watches, Clocks and Jewelry.
Also Quick Meal Gasoline
Stoves. Call on them. They
can do you good. No trouble
to show goods.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

A big crop of corn in Kansas and
the national democratic ticket elected,
and Kansas will continue to blossom
like the rose. All we want is a fair
show.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

Rev. j. n. Barbee was in the city
Saturday on business connected with
the Western Bible Society. He
preached in Ellinwood Sunday.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

When you have read your DEMO
Graf send it to some friend who has
not seen it and ask him if it is not
worth $3.50 a year. The paper will
continue to be improved from time to
time, as its patronage will warrant.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

M. Burson, of Marion, Kansas, g
brother of F. M. Burson, of this city
is here this week on a visit.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

If in your honest judgement it is a
good thing for the people of the United
States to have free whiskey and
free tobacco, the republican ticket will,
in this respect meet your views. If
you believe in placing lumber, sugar
and other necssaries of life within
easier reach of the people, you will
vote the democratic ticket. Take
your choice.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

For the last two weeks G. P. Town
sley, Jr., has had charge of the
Tribune while his father was away
nominating Blaine" AS a "snake
editor" he is slick success.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

Langham & Son went coon hunt
ing Friday and captured one half
grown, young fellow who now is I'M
dergoing the process of domestlcation.
There are two others still making
headquarters in the vicinity of their
store
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

These long, hot days, one feels like
he would like to skip away to the
northern lakes. But to the country
printer there's marry a skip-not this
year.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

w. r. Bunting and j. D. Welch,
Of Pawnee Rock, were in town two or
three DAYS last week.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

The real heroes and heroines of life
are those who bear their own burdens
without complaint and at the same
time lend helping hand to the needy.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

Send in the news from your neigh
borhood. You will be pleased to see
it in print, we will be pleased to put
it in print; ana your entire nelghbor-
hood will be pleased to know that
some one has his or her eyes open to
the interesting local events.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

A certain clergyman says that
when he looks at his congregation his
involuntary question is, where are
the poor? But after the brothers
have been around with the basket
and he counts the nickels he changes
the question to, where are the rich
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

Que bushel of corn makes one gal
lon of whisky, and the retail price is
SIS. The farmer gets 40 cents; the
railroads 81; the revenue $3.50; the
distiller gets 81; the saloon gets ST;
and the man who drinks the whisky
gets-the delirium tremens, generally.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

All in quiet way we want to re-
mark that the corn in Barton county
is on a boom; the wheat in Barton
county is large, and plump for its size
and very numerous for the quantity
there is of if; oats are very short
when cut with a header; and the
sinking little chintz bugs are as
hungry as tramp printer.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

When money is eight" and the U.
S. treasury is "fulp', how can we ex-
pect business to be III healthy con-
dition? Money stored away is like
much fat, disease to be removed by
correct habits and healthy exercise.
The money IN the treasury needs exer-
else, and millions of people are anx-
ious to give it employment.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

Street Commissioner Cone has been
hauling a great deal of dirt onto
south Main street the last week. 1t
does look to us as though it would be
policy and saving of money to the
city to have that part of the street
sprinkled Immediately, as only a few
dry, windy days are needed to blow
out all the loose dirt now hauled in 4.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-05

Cabinets $3.50 to s2-duplicates 81
per dozen at Mrs. Hale's for the next
two weeks.