davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-12-01
TIRED THE JURY.
An Episode in a Recent Murder
Trial.


Henry d. ChiIds, of the capitol, full
fills the duties of deputy attorney gen
eral, andin that capacity has recently
figured prominently in the state at the
prosecution of murder trials. Mr..
Childs' latest effort was at Redwood
Falls where, in closing the argument of
one case, which had occupied the court
about a week, he spoke over four
hours. Il was determined" re-
marked Mr.. Childs yesterday, ITO
touch every point in that case,
and did so. did another thing" he
added smilingly, Il tired the jurors out.
| was not i'll the best form for talking,
having during the trial contracted
cold. A medical man promised, the
night previous to the delivery Of my ar
gument, to cure the cold. and L went to
bed we'll saturated with his prescrip
tions. The next morning L was wO.se
than ever, and had to lily as last re-
source TO strong tonic. That brought
me pretty well to the mark. The attor-
ney generals department can be called
upon at any time by county attorne IS to
take up these murder prosecutions, and
upon the shortest possible notice. L
had but tWenty-four hours notice re-
questing my attendance at Redwood
Falls, and there were two murder trials
to prosecute"
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-12-01
THE BEST IN TOWN.
High Art as Displayed in Dress
ing Show Windows,

ISL East Third street, one can always
see something to attract the eye, and
can always be sure that anything those
young gentlemen display is the very
latest and best in style and quality to be
found in the mems furnishing line.
Without any special effort on their part
save the effort they make to keep in
advance of tile times generally-they
have become recognized authorities ON
matters Of dress in the furnishings
line. They have we'll merited the Tepu-
tation, and are daily reaping their re-
ward in a lucrative business, which the
GLOBE wishes them may continue as
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-12-01
A States Prison Tour.

General E. Dunn, J. f. Parrish. H.
IL. Hart and Warden Stordock held a
consultation yesterday in the capitol
regarding their tour eastward on a visit
Of prison inspection and to attend the
national prison reform meeting at AL
bany, n. Y. Mr.. Hart doubted whether
his work would allow him to undertake
the journey. but there was a CEREAL
desire among the other members of the
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-12-01
A BRILLIANT SCENE.
Music and Mirth Fostered by the
Allegro (JIub.

The initial hop Of the Allegro club.
held at the Standard hall last evening.
was perfection itself, in brilliancy and
detail. About thirty-five couples Fe-
sponded to the inspiration of
Prof. Wills orchestra and tripped
the light fantastic until quite
a late hour. An elegant supper
was served in the dining room at IL
o'clock. The tables were tastefully
decorated with fruits and flowers, and
the parlors and hall shone resplendent
with the rich costumes of the ladies'.
Among those present were Mr.. and Mrs.
Schaub, Mr.. and Mrs. Hatch, Mr.and Mrs.
Heinlein, Mrs. Jones. Miss George
Hicks, Miss jessie Hicks, the Misses
Thompson, Moone, Fink, CogsweH,
Burkhardt. Fisk, Walthers, Theo-
bald, Trowbridge, Bohrer, Ken
yon, Heinlein, Cooper, Strong,
Irving, Cogswell, Curliss, Wiley,
and Reinecker: Messrs. Ramaley,
Davidson, Cathrae, Murm, Birchell,
Nicolay, Fink. Cogswell. Burkhardt,
Schitfman, Briedert, Baldwin, Theo-
bald. Ballon, Nuttlng, Van Gorder.
Brand, Bagley, Amos, Nash, Nuro,
Gaskell and DR.. Wood.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-12-01
An Unfortunate Car Repairer.

J. Johnson, Dane, was seriously
injured yesterday morning, while en-
gagged in repairing car in the freight
yards near the Seventh street bridge.
An engine backed down upon the car he
was repairing and Johnson was thrown
under the car, the wheels Of which
which passed over his left leg and
badly bruised the right one, rendering
amputation necessary. He was taken
to st. Joseph's hospital, where he was
attended by Drs. Murphy and Johnson.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-12-01

commission that he Should accompany
them. Areport by Mr.. Hart of the tour,
would be most valuable data for the
legislature to frame a law for employ
ing the conyicts lying idle in the stale
IariSnI -. -
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1888-01-27
CLOTHING.
CLOTHING

Days Of holly and mistletoe !;
shorter for shopping and longer for
reading the holiday news. Let lis
carry your thoughts along with
brief suggestions that you will well
come through this stock that fills
the truest sentiment and measure
Of Christmas cheer-things to give
for use and wise giving:
Silk and Satin.lined Overcoats
(as luxurious as clothing can be
made) and palmer ones.
Storm Goats and listers to resist
the winter shower.
Dress and Business Suits.
Neckwear, all the most fashion,
able shapes and shades, elegant
quality and made for us.
Centlemen's Silk Mufflers
+" Handkerchiefs.
{" Linen +"
Mems and Boys Underwear.
Dress Shirts.
Flannel Shirts.
Colored Shirts.
Boys Reefng Jackets.
=" School and Dress Suits.
{" Overcoats.
Kilt Suits, shirt waists.
Satin Embroidered Suspenders.
Fancy Hosiery.
Grown Collars and Cuffs.
Monarch Shirts for men and boys.
Cardigan Jackets.
Silk Umbrellas, with attractive
carved handles.
Mems and Boys Rubber Goats.
Best kind of Gloves, fur trimmed
and otherwise.
Real Buck Gloves.
Also Perrin's celebrated make of
Gloves.
Acme Pants Stretchers.
as-oPEN EVENINGS.
B. ROBINSON & Co.,,
9O9 Pennsylvania Avenue,
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1888-01-27
7. ]. MILLER & SON,
327 King street. Alexandria. Va.

HARDWARE, CUTLERY, &C, just received at
Ii SS King corner of Regal street and for sale
at small Observation-Disclosures retail. Rodgers
& SON and other make of Carvers aud Forks, q
great variety. Rodgers q Son. and other make of
Table and Breakfast Knives. Genuine Rodgers
6. Son, Heincsh and other make of Scissors.
Pocket Cutlery in great variety, several hundred
patterns. Table Knives with Forks to match, at
low prices. Enterprise, Champion and other
Meat Cutters all sizes. Brownies Flexible Rub
Der Weather Strips, the best in use, with great
variety Of other goods III our line for sale cheap
Special attention is asked to large job lot of
Fray Solid Steel Seaside Scissors and Shears, for
sale at large deduction from usual prices. Call
and see at SS King, corner of Royal street.
decT J. T. CREIGHTON & SON.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1888-01-27

New BUCKWHEAT FLOUR received to-day
~ and for sale low by
oct19 j. G. MILBURN.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1888-01-27

BOOKS AND STATIONERY.
AtFFelch'S, NOS. All and 4l9 Kilg street

New BoOk-aosPEL HYMNS No. 5, with anil
without music This book contains nearly double
the number in any previous single number
sorrowing Not Without Hope, 60c.
Standard Vocal Duets. SOC.
American Collection Piano Music SOC.
Standard Song album, Soc
Practical Singing Tutor, by Franz Abt, soc.
Standard Overtures for Piano, Soc
Hagcrtown Almanac5, by the dozen or gross:
new supply.
Whittakor's hurch Almanac; new supply.
Now lot Eclipse Photographic Outfit "a lnos5
complete success), 81 so.
All the New Books Magazines and Papers ro-
ceived as fast as issued.
Our new line of Fine Stationery embraces the
finest made
Ledgers, Day Books ard Journals from the
largest made; all sizes and shapes and styles of
binding down tothe smallest Pass Books.
jan14 G.. Z. FRENCH.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1888-01-27
NEW GOODS.

We have just received through the importers
the fullest and most varied assortment of Holiday
Goods ever offered in this city, including Havi-
lands celebrated make of FRENCH CHINA in
Fish, Game Oatmeal, Pudding Chocolate and Ice
Cream Sets. Dinner and Tea Sets, After-dinner
Co1ees, Single Tea and Moustacho Cups Also
most complete line of CABINET PIECES, includ-
ing Abbotsford, Doulton, Bonn, and Royal Wor-
ccstcr, in tho very latest styles and decorations
beautiful line of large and small Vases. We
are unable to mention but few of tho many beau
tifu goods we have received iu tho last few days,
SO we cordially invite all to call and look at these
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1888-01-27
ADVICE TO MOTHERS

M4s HINsLow's SOOTHING SYRUP, for chill.
dren teething, is the prescription of one of the
best femsle nurses and physicians in the United
States, and has been used for forty years with
never-failing success by millions of mothers for
their children. During the process of teething
It's value is incalculable. 1t relieves the child
from pain, cures dyscntery and diarrhea gripping
in tho bowela, and wind-colic. By giving health
70 tbs childi rests the mother Price 25 cents E
hossle mv6-1y1M.W .W&9
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1888-01-27

IF YOU CANNOT SEE and cannot find any
/ SPECTACLES to suit yoa, 20 TO HENRY
WILDT'S and have your eyes tested, and you
will have no more trouble nov2O
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1888-01-27
THE ALEXANDRIA
Real Estate Investment, Ernst and Titlt
COMPANY.

0Sce-No 4 south Rairfaz st. Telephone No. ,.
President PARK AGNEW.
Vice President, JAMES R CATION.
secty. and Treasurer, II. L. HARLOW.
HAVE FOR SALE
large list of city and country property. consist
ing Of FARMS, MILL PROPERTY, DWELLING
HOUSES, VACANT LOTS, &C.
All persons desiring to buy or sell real estate
or 10 negotiate loans upon real estate security
VIII lind it to their advantage to give US p cali.
In all investments mado by us upon resi- estate
security We guarantee tho most careful examine
Non into the questions OF title and sutfciency OF
security. je25
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1888-01-27

Tee SKATES are very cheap this year, and we
| have nice line. They make Christmas gift
that always delights the boys and girls.
dec15 JAS. F. CARLIN SONS.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1888-01-27

!EyEAs- Having bought largely Of Teas care.
L fully selected, am selling the same very low.
sep2S J. G. MILBURN.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1888-01-27

{ TMOREs CELEBRATED MINCE NEAT and
n PLUM PU. DINGS for sale by
dec12 ]. C. AIILBURN.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1888-01-27
AgIexauIldIria 0azette
PUBLISHED DAILY AND TREWKRRLY By
EDGAR SNO YDEN,

dt the Gasette Baildinq, 80 and 312 Prince st
On. y:14 Dzlln .se 90 Or. yss1.':l4 TR5WzzRnS GO
Sir months. ........ 90 Siz months .. 2 90
One month ........... so Three months....... 1 90
Contract advertisers toR not be aotced to ezcesd their
space, unless the excess IS pe;d for at transient ratesr
and an9er no circumstances pin they be aAoOed to
advertise other than their legitimate business in the
space contracted for.
al transient advertisements must 5e paid for in as'
rdnce.
Persons caping tho city can hare the Gazette mailed
TO them, postpaid, for fifty cents month. and the
address changed as often as desired.
1arriage and death notices mast be paid for in ad
yance
RESOLUTIONS ,aes0ria othanhs, tributes Of respect,
resolutions adopted by societies persons, less Of
p6lic concern, tO only be printed in this paper as
advertisements.
The Gazette Office is connected ,Uith ae Telephone En-
change. AdgeYtiSements orders for the paper, neos
any information or business be sent Jp TEL
phone.
al communications should be addressed to "Gasette,"
Alexandria, Va.
Entered at the Postofce ct AlszGndria, Virginia,
Ssc0Ed-clcSs matter.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1888-01-27

,jsFIcE-S7moot's Wharf.
ap4 Special attention paid TO forwarding.
yET a. JOHNSON It co.
Wholesale GROCERs.
GENERAL COMMISSION MERCHANTS,
And Dealers in
ALL KINDS OF LIQUORS,
Heve on hand GIBSON'S Xxx, xxx, XXX.
snd PURE CID Rye, OLD CABINET and
MONOGRAM WHISTLES; also BAKER'S anc
THOMPSON'S PURE RYE WHISTLES, TO which
thoy invito the attention Of the trade.
Orders from tho country fer merchandise shall
receive prompt attention.
Cors;gnnonts of Flour, Grain and Country Pro-
duce solicited for which they guarantee the high.
8s6 market prices and prompt returns
Northeagt corner OF Cameron and Royal streots
3op14 Alexandria, Va.
EEARbo~ DRos~
wEoLIssALE
GROCERS, GENERAL COMMISSION
MERCHANTS AND
Dealers in
WINE AND LIQUORS.
FLOUR GRAIN AND COUNTRY PRODUCE
SOLICITED.
PBOMPr RETURNS AND LIBERAL AD-
yANCES ON GOODS IN STORE.
AGENCY OF LAFLIN G. RANDS SPORTING,
BLASTING AND MINING POWDER Aha
COTTON AND WATERPROOF FUSE.
N. W. cor. Cameron and Royal sts.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1888-01-27
JAMES F. CARLIN & SONS,
NO. 63 KING STREET
ALEXANDRIA VIRGINiA
Wholesale and Retail Dealers in
Ia nv On hIN NIIrDI E,DX

IAkDNAht IND OUI UILlbh Z,
5uilders Hardware, Locks, Hinges, Scrowsi
DoorBolts, Lstches, &C.. Saddlery, Hardware.
Bride Bits, Buckles Rings, Hames, &C., &c.i
Wheelwrghts' Hardware, Axles, Rins, Ruhs'
spOkcs, Sawed tellows, Trio Iron, &c. Pocket
Table, Carving and Butcher Knives, d:c Cans
Pistols, &c 4 full snd complete stock OF frst'
class gca>s awsy in store and sold 81 ;owert cash
prices. sIGt5
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-18

A president Of one of the Chicago
railroads related the other night lit
tie anecdote ament Gen. Sherman and
a certain military dinner given in
Omaha, Neb., at the beginning of the
war. The menu was wretched, as
were the Omaha hotels in those days,
On this occasion the butter was par
ticularly bad and rancid 10 degree.
The general sent for the manager, to
whom he quietly remarked: "You
will have to remove this butter, my
friend, as it outranks me."--Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-18

ed over and looked at it. Not a
scratch on it. l filled pipe, lighted
it, and thought about it. 1t wasn't
possible | could have missed so COM
pletely. Just then there was little
humming in the air and a rattling on
the target. looked down at it and
found it all covered with shot. That
was strange. 1t puzzled me. But at
last the truth broke upon me. |
scratched my head and remarked to
myself:
"'Great Scott, but that's slow pow
der !"
The barkeeper gazed blankly at the
crowd from a corner. The tavern cat
meowed piteously, and strove to
squeeze out of a broken window into
the cold, cold storm.
During last Tuesdays election at
Yonkers, lawyer A. j. Prime wore at
the polls blue ribbon in his button
hole. On it hung a brown leather
medal with scarlet center. In let
ters of gold was engraved on it the
motto
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-18
..'...'.s.',...........
A: BOSS LIAR.
New York Sun.

was sleeping with solemnity and
fervor the morning after my arrival
here, when heard a discreet and
well-bred cough. l opened my eyes
and saw gentleman Of polished man
ners who had entered quietly and was
humming series of operate cadenzas
arpeggios and arias in an undertone.
He smiled engagingly and came for
ward. His face looked as though it
belonged to close blood relation of
Won Moltke, Rubinstein, Won Bulow,
Richard Wagner and Goethe. 1t had
the lines of thought of a Russian di-
plomat and the reserved expression
of a great actor.
"The day." he remarked cheerfully
as he made court bow, should i'm
bibe you with delight"
"Why!' ! asked warily. | have
been dogged by detectives SO much in
Ireland that have grown somewhat
downy in quiet little way.
Because" said the visitor, in an
amiable way, "it is replete with at
mospheric exuberance."
This language to man in the ear
ly morning is what might be called
unjustifable, / think. / was going
to say so, when my visitor produced
a little silver-mouthed flask and smil-
ed. smiled and sat up in bed. He
unscrewed the top of the flask and
took it, 1t was filled with hot water.
/ lay down again and ceased smiling
off-hand. 1t was bitter moment.
Then the classical looking person
whipped out small box Of shaving
cream, mixed it with hot water, drew
out his razors, shaved me like flash,
made a profound bow, and withdrew
whistling a playful phantasy of the
"Shadow Song" from Disoran, in
clipper but genteel way.
When | went down stairs to break
fast, two hours later, l heard an Eng
lish tourist bullyragging the landlord
about shave he had ordered and
paid for, but missed. He roomed
next to me. | said nothing, because
/ am friend for life of that classical,
deft and musical German barber
Elk.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-18


my good man." said the village
pastor to one of the elders of his
church, Il trust you will withdraw
your resignation. We cannot afford
to lose so stanch and true Christian
from our membership roll. What
caused this sudden change of heart ?"
"Waal, past'r," replied the elder,
"y' see, l bought caow about five
weeks ago, an she's the all-fredest
kicker ever ye laid eyes on. .Satur-
day evening l figgered ct aout, tween
yeou'n me n the bed poast, ez haow
I'd either hev ter give up ther caow
or withdraw from ther church an
ez | doan't low emmy four-legged
beast on my farm to best me, I'm er
going ter keep ther caow. Eff yeou
think my saoul's in great danger, you
had better buy the caow; I'll sell her
cheap.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-18

He was judge of an Indiana county
court, and in New York barroom
he called for whisky.
He filled big glass to the brim,
drank it off, and laid 10 cents on the
counter.
The barkeeper politely showed the
coin back to him.
whats the matter? ?" demanded
the Hoosier. "Don't you want my
money ?"
"No, thank you, judge; cant take
it,"
81 didn't know that my reputation
had got this far away from home.
Why can't you take my money ?"
1--WE have no license for selling
whisky at wholesale. ."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-18
He Was the Boss Liar.

Lawyer A. j. Prime said to a knot
of storytellers Gentlemen, ] tested
some gunpowder once that proved
rather remarkable. | blazed away at
a white target about 100 feet away.
When the smoke cleared / didn't see
a mark on the target. This seemed
inconceivable, for Hatter myself that
! can hit a three foot target. walk
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-18

Friend-Don't go on so. All the
crying you can do won't bring your
husband back to life again. Widow
(for the fifth time)-I know it amt,
but I can't help crying. That's the
way am. The least little thing up
sets me. Boo-hoo l"-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-18

A square minister-After one or
two gentle efforts on the part of the
collector to awaken Deacon Jones,
the minister said from the pulpit
"Never mind. Brother Layman, as
Deacon Jones has not heard the SER
mon, perhaps it would not be right to
expect him to pay anything for it,
Epoch.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-18

Look at her waist | notice that
the ladies generally are wearing high
necked dresses this year. "Yes," said
the old fox hunter; "they seem to
have been driven to cover at LAST
Life.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-18

Flimssy--I don't know how it is,
but the smallest specimens of men in
variably get the best wives.
Mrs. F. (archly)--Oh, you hatter-
er Boston Transcript.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-18

A man, in a New Jersey town,
named Beall Day, has made a wager
to eat 300 oysters without stopping.
We suspect he will Be-all-Day doing
it.-Shoe and Leather Reporter.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-18

Tramp-Will the gentleman give a
trifle to poor man?
Condemnation do | know that
you are a poor man?
How do / know you are gentle
mani It's only by the outside that
either of us can judge the other
Texas SiftiDgs.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-18

When electricity becomes the agent
of punishment for crime, the judges
charge" will have more significance
than it does now.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-18

An ex-pugilist has become a mem
ber of the Bar in Connecticut. 1t is
predicted that he will use knock down
arguments, and become highly sue
cessful as an expounder of the law
Star
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-18

A man who had started factory
for the manufacture Of felting said
that he calculated to meet long-felt
want.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-18

P. T. Barnum, the Snowman, is
quoted as saying that he would ac.
cept the Republican nomination for
President. But despite his profession
Barnum has no show.-Norristown
Herald
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-18

81 hear that General Lightfoot is
going to run for Governor" said the
Judge. "Glad he's going to run for
something" said the Major, with feel
ing, "he run from everything all
through the war; ."-Burdette.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-18
Advertising Rates.

susiness Cards, one year, ono dollar per line.
LEGAL notices, arong local reading matter. ten
'ents per lina for each insertion.
business notices. nve cents per limo each insertion
Births, Marriages and Deaths free.
Obituaries, Resolutions, Cards Of Thanks. otc..
at advertising rates.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-18

A sign on the store of Toccoa, Ga,
merchant reads; Lamps fixed, razors
honed, fresh oysters, Vienna bread
and tombstones." Star.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-18

A woman can't collect bills. Won
ans work is never dun.-Rochester
Express.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-18

Drawing the line. Omaha girl
Did you really go and see La Tosca
Why, the correspondent said it was
outrageously immoral.
New York girl.-Well, it isn't quite
so bad as that, but at the same time
it is not the sort of play / would care
to send my mother to.-Omaba Her.
aid.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-18

A Richmond, Mich, woman lost a
watch few days ago. She could not
find it, but wherever she went she
heard that watch tick. This nerved
her OH to greater efforts, and she turn
ed the house upside down in her
search-and then found the watch IN
her bustle.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-18

Small boy (to his big sister)-Edith
do you know why l think you are
like cat that has fallen into a hogs
head of molassesi
Edith-Becaus I'm so sweet?
Small boy-No, because you are
so stuck up.-Detroit Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-18

A pillow slip is all right, but pill
low sham savors of humbug.-Star.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-18

Dudley Vauderclam-Mith Bond
clipper, weally believe it ith the
mission Of woman to make fools of
nth men.
Miss Bondclipper-Yes, you have
no idea, Mr.. Vanderclam, how vexed
we are to f1d that nature has SO Oft
EN- forestalled us.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-18

Patrick, did Mr.. Brown call ?"
He did, sor."
"And did you give him an evasive
answer?"
II did sor."
"Well, what did you say :"
IL axed him was his grandmother
a monkey, or."-Life.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-18

.Daiiy, All other trains daily except Sunday.
parlor cars on day trains. Sleeping on night
trains. Note Alpena fast express.
t,itv Office, Phenix Block corner Washington
and Center Ayes, and at Michigan Central depot,
foot Of Washington Ave-
Bay City.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-18
WIT AND HUMOR
For the busy-bustle.

For the carpenter-a sash.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-18

Time Card in Effect Nov. goth, 1887.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1888-04-18
Alpena to Detroit.
Detroit, Bay City & Alpena II. Il.

Mail and Accom-
Miles. Express. notation.