Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1888-01-19

the barn-yard wit would say"
81 have come, sir. to demand an ex
PLANTATION. My sister informs me tina
you insulted her. and by"
Il don't think that am acquainted
with your sister, sir. Sit down.
Il will not sit down. darn you. Ny
sister tells me that you stopped her OIL
the street and"
''What is her name, please?"
My name, sir, is Norwood Hamp
tom"
care you related to the Hamptons
of Kentucky? l sold old Major Hamp
ton a bill of goods some time ago
Tall old fellow, slightly bald, but as
hospitable as the lighthouse-keepel
of fiction and as brave as-well, as a
gentleman. l take it that all gentle
men are brave. Sit down.
Mr. Hampton glared savagely a,
Higglegag. while one hand fumbled
ominously under the tail of his coat.
Il am tempted. without further ado.
to shoot your head off. You are a low
minded, cowardly wretch
''Say. hold on minute-just a min
ute. and if 1 don't make every thing
satisfactory. off goes my head. In a
case of this kind a man never regrets
listening patiently to an explanation. -"
Proceed. but be brief"
"All right, but you must not fly off
If don't talk to suit you at first. 1
have always understood that Southern
gentlemen have fine appreciation of
humor. and sincerely wish that you
may give play to little of that admir-
able quality which know you must
have inherited. Without humor there
could be no high state OF civilization.
The savage frowns; the philosopher
laughs. Now. Mr.. Hampton. if you
could but realize my situation I know
that you could not help but smile.
Here you are, demanding to an expla-
nation relative to an insult which you
say that have placed upon your SIS
ter, and here I am, man who,
many gentlemen in Chicago will tell
you. never was known to DO guilty of
an intentional wrong. It has been
said that am at times peculiar, and
I'll be hanged if haven't begun
to believe it This morning, while
strolling along your main street, which
l must say is very quiet, saw a-par-
don me-saw handsome young lady
approaching; and. looking back, saw
that a woman was overtaking me.
Now unused. i shall see an exhibi-
ton of feminine popularity. When
those women pass. the young one will
look back to see how the other one is
dressed, to see if she can not detect
some outrageous ,ncongruity in the
way her clothes hang. The other
woman may also look around, but
am betting on the younger one.' Well.
sir, the younger one did turn around,
just as expected; and, don't know
why-but surely with no evil intentions
Il spoke to her. l don't remember
exactly what l said; it may have been
insolent, but-well now here, suppose
that men were to turn round to criti-
else the hanging of each others panta-
looms; wouldn't it warrant any woman
in speaking to us of the disgraceful
practice?'
Hampton sat down. After a few
he said: The affair is
''Of course it is.'
''While you did not mean any in
suit. Mr.. Higglegag, You should not
have addressed her, even though your
remarks had been pleasant.
"You are right. Mr.. Hampton; no |
one can deny that. am sorry now,
but the deepest threats of direst con-
sequences would not have prevented
ME from speaking to her at the time.
Ever in Chicago?'
mo, sir.''
Greatest commercial achievement
he age has seen. Why. sir, there's
,othing that Chicago will not UNDER
axe. And do you know what has
made that town?-the municipal
if l may use such phrase,
# her people. A Chicago man may
lot have time to talk to you about him.
elf or his father. but he will stand
'are-headed in the rain and talk to
'ou about Chicago. That's the way to
make town. Talk it up; never let
he subject ret cold. Tn business bero
Mr.. Hampton"
Eyes. agricultural Implements"
':Never handled the Stagwell pillow,
ave you?'
No. sir"
''Our firm is manufacturing it now.
The Michigan. Ohio aud Illinois farm
rs are delighted with it. There has
zen a great improvement in plows
within the past few years. not rcvo-
ution, understand. but such q re-
uction in price that the old cast alov. ]