The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-08-11

j. JONES was relating to Miss Sulphur Springs
his experience during the Savannah earth
quake
''You Just ought to have seen the fellows get
out of the club. In two seconds the whole crowd
had tumbled pell-mell down the steps to the
middle of the street"
'indeedl 1t must have been very alarming.
And were you much frightened, Mr.. JonesY'
Me? Pom my word was scared out of my
witsp'
'Yesf You must let me congratulate you on
yonr courage Mr.. Jones. You seem to have
been much less frightened than the other gen
tlemen."
THE man who got 5000 from railroad COM
pany for having his brow cut must have had a
very high forehead. Yonkers Statesman.
DR.. WILLIAM HAMMOND declares that the brain
is not absolutely essential to life That is
probably the reason why dudes are permitted to
exist. Philadelphia Call
BERRY WALL used to be the king of the dudes
Now II is said that there is a young Chnaman
who outdresses Mr.. Well Won Sing, the new
dandy. is known as the Chinese WaI-DetrOft
Free Press
HEAD WAITER Chicago hotel)-Excuse me,
sir do you eat pie with knife or forkP
Stranger-With knife, of course. Do look
like man what would jab himself?
Head Waiter-To the right if you please;
seats on the left reserved for eastern dudes.-
Time
CrT1zEN-wel, deacon, s'pose the camp
meeting was great success!
Deacon (dubiously)-Well, | dunno; there
were forty eight converts.
CitiZen-Why, that's glorious
Deacon-Ye-es, but thirty seven of EN- owe
me yet for root beer an sandwiches. York
Sun.
WHAT this country wants." said the man
who talks politics on the street car, lis men
who are not afraid to meet their obligations "
Then he noticed that in the crowd the conduc-
tor had overlooked him, and he dropped off the
car block away from his destination for fear
the error would be discovered. Buffalo Er-
press
why that sad expression, dear" said a
bride on the first day of her wedding trip, as
she raised her head from her husband s
shoulder; do you regret"
"Ah, no, darling" he replied fervently; sit
was but fieeting expression You dropped
| asleep for a moment and l thought heard fust
the faintest suspicion of a snore. Epoch.
MA demonstrated Bobby, when was at
grandmas she let me have two pieces of pie -
We'll, she ought not to have done so, Bob
| pie are too much for little boys The older you
grow, Bobby, the more wisdom you will gain y
Bobby was silent, but only for a moment
well, ma, he said, grandma is a good deal
older than you are "-Christidn Advocate
| WIGaLEs-Arabella, darling, may kiss youf
Arabella-Yes, sweetest; but kiss me on the
left cheek please,
wiggles doing ,so)-And may ask, dearest,
why the ieft cheeky
Little brother (poking his head through the
| door)-Because Jack Waggles has been kissing
her right cheek all the afternoon, and it's tired.
| The engagement is not yet announced-Totcn
| Topics.
"FADER" said Rebecca Schneidelbaum,
| counterfeting q roseate blush, "Fader, Mr..
| Schponger has just called He is now In the
| parlor. He has come to ask for my hand
Ask for your hand, eh?" replied Mr.
| Schnedelbaum, excitedly. "Rebecca, take dose
1 1.s...
| let dem go init the hand He takes it mtout
| membranes or he takes 1t not at all. VI Boston
| Transcript
| OUR PREACHER sAYs-and course he's right
It's very wrong to tell a flb
| $50 mothers taught me ever since
She rocked me in my little crib,
That's why can't just understand
| Why in his sermons he will run
| Along like sixty when he's said
But one word more and have DONE"
| When first heard him say those words
| They made me glad for l. you see
| Was tired. for half hour sermons seem
Enough for little folks like me.
But gracious l was quite surprised
| To find he'd only just begun,
| When pausing for breath, he said:
but one word more and haze done"
| / wonder what he'd think If |
| Should say, when at his home I'd sup,
"Just one plum more and have DONE"
Then eat his Wife preserves all up?
| | guess he'd ask me what meant,
I'd have to say was in fun
| Just like he must be when he says:
but one word more and l have done"
Wade Whipple in Richmond Dispatch