Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1888-04-24
The Bowsers, Day Shopping.


had mentioned in casual way that We
needed some dishes, new carpet, and some
table linen, and that I must go down town
and buy them. when Mr.. Browssr came
home at . o'clock one afternoon and said:
"Well, are you all ready 2"
"For what"
"Why, to go down and buy those things"
"But didn't know you wanted to go. In
deed, wish you wouldn't"
"Oh, you do! Are you ashamed to be
seen with me on the street ?"
"You know I'm not. I'm afraid you
you"
"Well, WHAT"
You'll iaw folks and get into quarrel"
Mrs. BoWser, are you getting soft in the
head? Jaw folks Get into n quarrel
Humph Are you coming?"
We first visited the carpet store. | had
not yet made up my mind whether 10 buy
Brussels or velvet, nor whether TO get light
or dark colors. / expected to take a chair
and have the clerk roll down about fifty
pieces of each kind, and to be all of two
hours making up my mind. One clerk ran
to place chairs for US. a second arranged
the window curtains, and 8 third inquired Of
Mr.. Bowser:
did you wish TO look at some carpets p"
"Did / come up here to buy OYSTERS" de-
manded Mr.. Bowser.
"Ah-um. Light or dark colors ?"
Light
"But the dark are ali the style you know"
Il don't know anything Of the sort !!
There are plenty of white horses and houses,
and white shirts and hats; and don't know
why light carpets shouldn't be fashionable.
Roll down this piece"
"Yes, sir but you won't like il. This
dark pattern ID what Mrs Gov. Smith Sc
lected for her front bedroom"
Eyes. We'll, may get that iog ny horse
barn later op. Send up man TO measure
the room, and give me that light pattern"
"Why, Mr.. Bowser," said, you haven't
selected already? ?"
Certainly"
"But we've"
s'Five minutes is enough fer any one to So
lect carpet, Mrs. Bowser. We wait body
Brussels, and we want a light ground.
That's all there is to it. We will now 60
over and buy The table linen "
"But can't have time to look around ?"
Time What do you want of time You
want three linen table cloths and two dozen
napkins. We've got tbs money to pay for
EN-. Wnat more Is Gesired
'But it's so sudden.
$50 are earthquakes. Well go in here"
We entered a dry goods store and sat
down to linen counter. 4 young man
came forward to wait on Us, ard after btiug
told what was wanted, be quered
$50 you want some real linen. We'll,
here is something can recommend"
"Is that ali linen ?"
eyes, sir"
SIS it ?n asked Mr.. Bowser, as be turned
to me.
1 didn't think it wss, but told Mr. Bow
ser to lot it 60. 1t was the custom in all
dry goods stores to lie about such things
and no one thought Of raising row.
MADAM" said Mr.. Bowser, rs he took
the cloth over to motherIy old lady, as
this all linen ?"
mo, sir it's half cotton " she replied af-
ter an inspection.
"Where's the proprietor Of this s.ore?" he
demanded of the clerk.
"I-Ill call him, SIR"
The proprietor came up.
ais that linen ?" asked Mr.. Bowser.
"It passes for linen, sir."
"If you put cows horns and tail on q
horse ho'd psss for COW, wouldn' he? Sir,
ore YOU ought to be ashamed Of"
The proprietor began to blow up the
clerk, and the clerk said he'd resign, and as
we got out doors penned Mr.. Bowser IN
doorstep and said:
"I'll never, never dare to enter this store
again ~
Don't want you to. The man is liar,
and the clerk lied by bis instructions. We'll
try another"
The next store was crowded, and as we
reached the lined counter il was TO fad
every stool occupied. I tried TO get Sir.
Bowse; out, anticipating trouble, butunior:.
tupateiy at that moment one lady observed
to another:
Dear me, but this is the third afternoon
Tve come down town TO buy table-clotD,
and I haven't got suited yet"
"ADd want four crash towels, and I've
been all over town twice" replied the other
Here, YOU p snapped Mr.. Bowser to the
clerk. 'are you busy %
sWaiting on these ladies, sir.
Have they bought anything :"
mo, SIR
"Are they going OF"
III don't know"
"Well. I've no time to fool away. We
want three linen table cloths and two dozen
napkins"
Each of them gave ne lock that pisrced
me to the heart. and each one gave Mr.
Bowser look which ought to have short
eped him two feet, but which he'd 20 sppsr.
e,t effect. In seven minutes We had found
what we wanted, paid tbe bill, and were
rssdy to 20. The clerk acted a bit sulky,
ard MIR. BoWser was getting ready TO give
hin blast, when Appealed 10 him to hold
his peace. I told him it was the custom for
saveral thousand ladies to come down town
astarnaon To shnn and that ahnnning