The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1888-10-27
Democratic Parrots.
BENZ. HARRISON

Just now the country is afflicted with
almost innumerable papers aud alleged
orators pratIug about that Infamous pro
tective tariff" Their songs are all
pitched in one key, and that is a false
one. These are Democratic parrots; the
species is unpleasantly familiar TO this
long-sutfering people. Tue Democratic
parrot, fortunately, possesses limited
vocabulary and, naturally, less informa
ton. Therefore, instead of the conven
tlonal 'Polly waits a cracker of his
species, his powers of speech are confined
to The tariff Is "a tax" Not long ago 1.
philanthroplc Republican entertained the
idea OF enllghteulug one OF these parrots.
Unfortunate man! He had no previous
conception OF the hopeless task before
him. The interview ran nearly as follows:
Polly.-"The tariff is tax"
Phllauthropuist.-' think you are
mistaken, and if you will permit me,
will show you your error. Take cheap
wooden clothing, tor instance. A woolen
suit costing $40 in England costs the
same here. Ii the tariff were tax it
would cost about ST."
Polly.-"Tbe tariff is a tax"
Pnllanthropist.-'Yo can buy wooden
in England. They would cost $3.50 cents
if the tariff were tax"
Polly The tariff Is tax"
PhiIauthropisU.-"C thread is as
cheap in tho United States as in England
and common cotton manufactures are
really cheaper. Yet the tariff duty on
cotton thread aud goods is anywhere
from 10 TO As cents per pound and from
40 to so pc: cent. How do you reconcile
these facts with your theory?'
Polly.-"The tariff is tax
Pnilanthropist.- but all knit goods
and the commoner grades of socks .ud
stockings are cheaper here than in Eug
land, yet they are su bject, when imported
to the duty have just specified. Explain
that"
Polly.-''The tariff is tax"
Pnilanthropist.- All our farming
machinery, our cutlery and numerous
other of our manufactured products arc
sold in European markets i'll competition
with their manufactures; and yet a high
duty is exacCed il similar articles are I'M
ported into the United States, English
dealers actually steal American trade
marks and stamp them Oh their own pro
ducts to make them sell better in their
matters consistently with your theory?
Polly The tariff is a tax"
PhilanLhroplst.- Cotton dress goods
may be purchased here at 10 conLs ID
yard; the tariff duty is II cents. If the
duty ID tax English manufacturers not
ouly give the goods away, but pay us Il
bonus of 7 cents ID yard for aking them.
How is TINS, PnllS?"
Polly Zine Tariff il a tax
Philanthropist. -" Steel rails, nails,
carpets, boots, shoes, clothing, hats,
blankets, i'll fact all the necessaries OF
life are cheaper under protective tariff
than they ever were unaer free trade
Very many OF these articles are as cheap
aud 50 ne cheaper than IN free trade ELg
land. On the other hand, the price OF
labor has been higher in the Uuited
States under Protection than under free
trade. How do you account for these
facts?'
Polly.-"The tariff is a tax
Philanthropist.-(W Walking off, dis
gusted. dwell, l did't expect to find
much sense III parrot; but, candidly,
Polly, didn't think you were that stu
pid."
Polly.-(Screaming discordsntly after
the disguised philanthropist. y" The
tariff is a tax. Herald.