Workmen's advocate. (New Haven, Conn.) 1883-1891, 1888-03-03

80 great an amount of grain on hand
that there will be more than enough
for all.
So these fellows who are thrown
out of work will be all right;'if they
can't find work they will have to
amuse themselves some other way
go in swimming or play polo, for in
stance.
There are some little matters in
connection with this reform that
must be seen to. Now it must Ee
admitted that the human race, es-
pecially such part of it as labors ex-
cessively for an eXlstance, Graves
some sort of stimulant. Neither
can it be denied that vast number
have a distinct preference for alco-
holic stimulants. As a matter of
course these items must be attended
to before any success can be hoped
for. But happily, means at once
suggest themselves whereby these
difficulties may be overcome.
1t naturally occurs to anyone of
sound mind that inasmuch as this
craving for stimulants is the result
of overwork, the rational plan would
be to remove the cause. But on
second thought it becomes clear that
this might be troublesome to the
profit system, neither is it all neces-
sary. All that is needed is a sub
stitution-something gently stimu-
lating, so to speok, without any of
the bad effects which always accom-
pany alcohol.
Now, there are many things which
might be thus used, but on mature
reflection we would commend the
use of capslcum, also known as red
pepper.
This product of nature has been
highly recommended by eminent
medical authority as a most admir-
able substitute for alcohol where a
gentle stimulant is required. True,
it may be objected that if red pepper
is really stiTnulant, may people not
become so infatuated with it as to
use it to excess? Well, it does not
seem to us, knowing the character
of this condiment, that there need
be any great fears on this score.
Having thus met the first diff
Guilty, namely, the general desire for
a stimulant, it remains to deal with
the second, which consists in the de-
cided preference, very generally man
ifested, too, for alcoholic bever-
ages. In speaking of this obstacle
to the glorious anti-poverty scheme
to a friend, he suggested that this
grievous difficulty could probably
only be overcome by the assistance
of a power outside of ourselves, that
is, heaven alone could remove this
stumbling block. We have been re-
minded, however, that this morbid
craving for alaohol is, no doubt,
somewhat of nervous affection.
Now if we can bring into play some
thing that will soothe this nervous
irritation, the problem will be solved
If We recollect properly, in many
cases of nervous irritation porous
plasters have been found of inestim-
able value, and it is altogether prob
able that they will be of equal eff
cacy in the case under consideration.
By this suggestion we mean no dis
respect to heaven or our friend; by
no means, Still it is wise to pro-
vide for all possible contingencies;
besides, is it not written: "Heaven
helps those who help themselves"
And now a new and glorious light
seems to fall upon and make clear
the dark and vexatious labor prob
lem.
1t now rests entirely with the
masses whether they will remain in
abject poverty and uncomfortable mis-
cry. If they choose to bid an eter-
nal adieu to their beggarly existence
and live henceforth in princely af-
huence let them raise their voices a:
one man for the new scheme. Aye,
let them shout in tones stentorian
for prohibition, heaven, porous
plasters, and all will be well with
them. Yes.