The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-07-26
BRIGHT BITS.
From Benjamin ont in Hoosierdom
To Levi in New y Ork.
The cry is Lift the tax from rum


The cry is Lift the tax from rum
And raise the tax on cork!' Life.
SHE-What beautiful texture is Mrs ks
stockings; shouldn't think she would wear them
in salt water.
He (dreamily)-Yes, how beautifully shaped
they are, Gh-er-thaJ is-er-the stockings, of
course, you know. Runs behind a bath house
and kicks hlmsef.-RosoIedf
MY FRIEND said a tariff maniac, do you
believe in free whisky or free wuol;'
Free whisky, of course we must have
clothes"
"How's that?"
with whisky cheaper we can drink the same
amount and still have surplus for clothing"
AT THE CLuB-Tom (wearily)-Another con-
quest, Arthur. do wish the girls wouldn't fall
In love with me so much
Arthur Why the deuce:don't you keep away
from them'
Tom-Good gwacous, old fel, the wemedy is
worse than the disease, don't you know Wash
ingtOn Critic.
l. LITTLE year-od in Washington evidently
appreciates her mother because she is her
mother but the sentiment is not unmixed with
self-appreoiatiOn Mamma" she said the
other day at the table, guess what lady said
about you at SallieS party last night" What
was it, dear?' "She said you were the sweetest
little girls mother in Washington. -BOs ton
Youths Companion.
MARY should have her little lamb,
Whose fleece is white as snow,
To go wherever Mary goes
Wool should be free you know!
Black wool was freed by Uncle Sam,
And white wool should be free;
o, Brother Mills, your Mary'S lamb
Redeem from slavery!
Philadelphia Record.
THE young lady was reading a story on the
lonely piazza of the summer hotel. The story
began tn IS: 1T was at a summer resort in July
He was a young man and he" Here the
young lady threw aside the book in disgust
hp or 10 tnA fartu nd Oh.
There are no young men at summer resorts in
July Then she went out under the trees
climbed into hammock and went to sleep
Chicago NelCs.
JoHSNY-ouch! Yah-rr,rohl Yiepp-pl-
d-d-don' take tn b-b-ack of tn b-brush /,
G-g-g-rh! won DIDO it again-Ow-wow WOW /!
Grandma John William, your father s
mother is nigh on to 80 years old, but she worked
we'll sweep all her festive youth, and the next
time you feel like giving her grasshopper in
place of Glove during the solemn service of
the Methodist Episcopal church. YOU don't want
to do It. (Clip-swipe- D-Pltck.
A CORRESPONDENT sends the following arith-
metical problem: father-not millionaire
left at his death a number of children, and a
certain sum to be divided among them as fol
lows: The eldest TO receive 500 and one-tenth
of the remainder; the second child 5000 and one
tenth of what then remained; and so on, each
child to receive 800 more than the one immcdi-
ately preceding, and then one-tenth part of that
which still remained. When the division took
place II was found that all the children received
| the same amount How many children were
there, and what sum did each receive?-Ne,o
| York Tribune.
AN amusing story was this. told by ex-Gov
! Bullock of Georgia, in a speech at tho meeting
| Of the National prison association: In one of
| the penal institutions few years ago a pris-
| oner was asked by visitor What brought you
| here?'
! "A sneeze answered the jail bird, who by
the way, was a professional burglar.
! sneeze;'
Yes. pursued my calling unmolested until
one night while was in the act of robbing a
house was unfortunately overcome by an i'm
pulse to sneeze. That woke the policeman, who
brought me here ''-NelC York san.