Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1888-01-12

There are many inconsistencies in the
boasted institution of the American Re
public This is the only country. in the
world where there Is absolutely free
speech, and also the only one in which
lecturer may demand 800 for an hours
talk and get it.-Lowell Citizen.
A lady living in Rappahannock county,
Va. had twelve stands of bees. which
were very valuable unil a distillery was
started in the neighborhood Since it
was started, however, the bees pay fire.
| quent visits to the still. get very drunk,
and are of little profit.-New Orleans
Picaynne
Young Housekeeper to fish Dealers
What kind of fish have you got this NOR
ning2
Fish Dealer-How would you likesome
nice striped bass. mum?
Young Housekeeper (hesitatingly)-N No;
| would prefer something in small
| check.-Tid Bits.
A Minnesota women caught tramp on
her premises and married him. The pub
! lie has monkeyed too long with this
tramp nuisance. and we are glad that
heroic remedies are about to be used to
exterminate it. Exchange
There was heated discussion in a
hotel the other night, Il tell you, sir
said one of the disputants, there is no
law made but what the people can
change Yes, there is,' said new
conner. there is one law no man, can
change" What 'that?" "a mother.
in law. Scranton Truth.
| The information comes from New
| York that the husband Of Mrs James
Brown. Potter is on speaking terms with
his wife. This is something to which no
one will be likely to offer any objections.
| No one but carpng and captious critic
| will object To mans cultivnting the ac-
quaintance of his wife. Oil City Bliz-
za:d
| A small Hartford child, just home from
| Sunday school, informed his father that
| he could name the first five books of the
New Testament. They were, he said,
Matthew, Mark, Luke, John and
Hatchet," and then, thinking people
looked queer, he hesitated and added,
well, hatchet or AK, it's about the same
thing Hartford Courant
A druggist tells this story at his own
expense. Said he: "A man came in
| with prescription, and / noticed that
the paper did not bear the name of any
! physician. / called the customers at.
tention to it, and he replied that he knew
all about whs wrote this prescription.
Never mind he said, who wrot it. -
| The doctor signed his name and cut it
off, What did you cut it off for7'
| asked, eagerly. SO that / wouldn't have
to pay you his commission, was the in
nocent response. / then tackled on fif-
teen cents extra for luck, but gave him a
| glass of soda with wink in 1t, and he
walked out with the air OF man im-
mensely tickled at the success OF his
scheme. e.-Boston Gazette.
| A Boston mother was putting her little
one to bed and said: II think Flossie.
you are old enough to learn an evening
prayer. m going to say it for you and
| you will repeat it after me . ''Yeth' m, :"
lisped the little one well, we'll begin.
| Are you ready?' "Yeth'm Letter 90.
Gallagherl'' Boston Courier.
"Who was the young man here last
night?" asked X street father of his
only daug hter. ~ by. papa, that was
my accepted lover" Your lover child?
| Why. / never saw him before? What
does he do?" "Do papa? Dor she re.
| piled. He doesn't do anything. he has a
government position. Washington
Critic.
Bobby was at neighbours. and in re-
sponse to piece of bread and butter po-
litrly said Thank YOU" That's
right, Bobby" said the lady, Il like to
hear lit e boys say Thank you Yes:
ma told me must say that If ii was
bread and butter. '-Christian Advocate
Irate Patron to Hotel Clerk-I thought
your walters understood French.
Hotel Clerk-All of them are native
born FreDchmen, sir.
| Patron-Indeedl Why, at dinner
asked one Of them to bring me one Of
your "meenoos." and he brought me a
newspaper. Hotel Mail.
Applicant for Admission to Hades-
Throw down the barsl Are you going to
keep a man banging away here all night?
Pluto-Who is there?
Applicant-I'm the man who announ-
ced the concerts to take place after circus
performances.
Pluto Welcomed Thrice welcome,
Prince of Liarsl You shall be affidavit
maker for the conceTn,-Binghampt
Republican.
For heavens sake, look at the nose on
that man over there.
Yes, that's Jim Bingley"
He must be a terrible soak.
He used to be, but be reformed two
weeks ago.
Reformed2 He's full now"
YES, know. He signed the p'eIge
two weeks ago, and be feels so proud and
happy about it that he's been drunk ever
sincB. -Nebraska State journal.