New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1888-03-21
in THE AWKWARD SQUAD.
I Dudes WrestIe With Desire 10
Be Military Man.

II
| a DUDES WrestIe With a Desire 10
Be Military Man.
| New York Press.
PA, / want to be q soldier. it VIII
be such fun parading up and down
Fifth avenue with the boys, you
know. But as am under age it ID
Imperative that you give your con-
sent" And Adolphus deity drew an
innocent looking document from his
inside pocket and handed it over for
signature.
Have you thought over this mat
ter seriously, my boy?'
so, certainly; / am to get
bran new uniform from top to toe,
drill Thursday evenings, and it's only
to cost me S1.5O month; mere
! bagatelIe, you know" The document
is signed and the young man joins the
national guard
When Adolphus goes in the awk-
ward squad he feels as if he was tack
ling an interminable job. The squad
master is a lieutenant specially de-
tailed from some company to instruct
raw recruits into the mystery OF
handling rifle and the proper move
n.ents in marching. His language
when taking new batch OF men into
charge is more forcible at times than
| elegant.
The new recruit finds himself very
proficient at first in getting his legs
TANGLED up together. When the officer
lsays: eyes 'front.'" he forgets just at
| that moment he is under any special
instruction to follow out any such
admonition and very innocently
looks down to see if his feet are prop
| erly adjusted SO as to prevent one
from inadvertently stepping on the
other.
81 believe told that man who is
continually admiring his feet to keep
his eyes directly front, and if / have
to tell him again he will have to go
back to the next squad, which will
keep him out OF his company for SIX
MONTHS
The recruit becomes terribly con-
fused at this rebuke, and generally
succeeds in making a bad matter
worse by nervously pinching his mus
Gache, II ne has any.
| Hands down! This is no time or
place to coax mustaches; wait until
| you get off the foorW continues the
drill instructor, enjoying the recruits
confusion.
Tt is pretty generally understood
that out Of the whole number of mill
tia in this state 40 per cent of them,
could they get out OF the national
guard, would do so with dreadful
| rapidlty. After a man has served
three years in a company it's about
time to get tired of it, and he often
gets tired before that time
But some get tired OF the military
routine quicker than others. A young
man joined the Twenty-second regi-
ment simply because he wanted to
wear one of their white dress coats.
He was promised a bran new coat if
he became q member: he joined, went
through the awkward squad success
fully. and became one OF his com.
pany's best men.
! When the white coat business came
up before a regular monthly meeting
the quartermaster sergeant quietly
informed the members that the re
cruits wishing new white coats could
purchase the same for $28, or be sat
! ished with a secondhand one. The re-
| crult who came in for the new white
coat was finally fitted out in one that
gave forth the token OF a siege Of iaun-
dice, with buttonholes that were frav-
ed, and a fatigue cap that must have
| been worn by a member of one of the
companies that went to the front in
1862. Such a procedure made this
man tired OF his bargain, and he
therefore endeavored to shake the re-
sponsibility ne had taken upon him
sell by staying away from drills and
company meetings. Things began to
look serious for him at the regimental
court, and he finally turned up with
the plea OF physical inability to at
tend to any further military duty.
He was referred to the reg;mental sur
geon, who quizzed him very thorough
| ly on his troubles.
What do you think ails you?' OBJ
served the doctor.
u think | am getting consumption
very fast, DOCTOR" he replied.
"Where do you feel the most pain
at times?"
"ln my stomach"
"And you think you are getting the
consumption? Nonsense, what you
want is exercise, and the national
guard will give you all you want.
Your application for physical disabil.
ity is not accepted" The young man
endeavors to attend drills more reeu-
larly now.
The national guard is a splendid in
stltution for young men who are CON
fined all day long in smudgy stores or
sit adding long columns OF figures,
without cessation, for eight or. ten
hours. 1t exercises all parts OF the
BODY and bring every muscle into
play Young men who are willing to
give up one night in the week to drills,
and will attend to them regularly
without that feeling OF compuls1on
That haunts SO many, will derive a
benefit physically.
| Before you join any regiment the
1 a Y1Tir oOc,t