Morning journal and courier., 1888-04-28
NECESSARY Y.


 A mule is not necessarily an artist be- cause it can draw.-Nebraska State Jour- nal.
 "Unmarried teas" are fashionable diver sion in Washington. But for oolongf as the funny man would ask if he wasn't at the present writing up on the roof weeping for his sins.-Philadelph Call. They say that Frenchman never inten- tionally gets anything right in another Ian guage. A Paris paper speaks of "Mr. Pow derhorn, president of the American Knights of Labor. ."-Burlington Free Press. Sunday diversion. -Curate-"G "Good-by. must go in now. I've got to prepare my ser-a mon-and don't know what I'm to preach about" Layman-"Oh, about ten min utes, and then come over to lunch. ."-Panch. .He-s'I see that old MT. Bently was buried Mr. Bently deada" He (who has just been ''sat upon') )-"The paper doesn't say wheth- CT he is dead or not; simply that he was buried yesterday. Life. "For hiccougb hold the breath, |" writes g gentleman who pretends to- know what to do when other people don't. Will the gentleman please tell us how to let go of the hiccough long enough to get 8 firm grip on the bTeathf Minneapolis Tribune Two Richmonds in the efeld.-Starvely- ssI didn't see you at the McGlynn lecture last night" Guffins-"No; I've started 8 little society of my own-poker club, you know; rake in the ante and the other fe1- | lows take the poverty. Life. Old Wimple (solemn1y)-Young man, to attain success in this world we must be up and doing. Do you ever see the sun rise? Young nan-Yes, sir, occasionally. f'Wheng'
 "On my way home. ."-Texas Siftings. Wife (who has the foreign language | s.spasm'0 0-"John, do you know I'm getting | on splendidly with my French" am real \ ly beginning to think i2 the language" Hus- band-G Gnterested in his paper)-''Is that sof | Let me hear you think little while in l French. ."-Ihe Sun.
 l It is a little cruel on the part of the lady ! of the house to institute her housekeeping at l a time when the weather is hardly suitable 1 for outdoor enjoyment. Why cannot the cleaning be done in midsummer, when man
 can sleep under the vaulted dome of heaven,
 if need be?-Boston Transcript.
 Mistress (to applicant) )-Yes, have adver- tised for @ nurse. Are you competent to take
 care of young children?
 Applicant-Oh, wis, mum.
 Mistress-You never give them paregorio to quiet them?
 Applicant-Niver, mum. I alters prefers
 laudanum.-New York Sun.
 'tAnd are you really so badly broke, my
 friendPa he asked as he rendered the tramp a penny.
 "Broke?" was the bitter response. "I'm
 as badly broke as the ten commandments. "-
 Life.
 Miss Dreamly-Why is it that all our bright illusions are dispelled while the bitter meme
 ries of our griefs remain?
 MT. de Gouty-Perhaps it's for the same
 reason that we lose our hair and keep our
 rheumatism.-Tow Topics. Histrionic Realities-Utility lady (hurry , ing in breathless five minutes after the call l for distribution of parts for the new spectac- 'ular production-"Whatd do I get?' Stage manager (promptly-"Yo get fifty cents fine for bein' late, and you're the Empress of
 India in the prologue and Quesn of Night in
 the last act; and you don't want to show up in them old blue satin shoes again, for
 you've got to sit on throne ten feet high
 and put your foot on the neck of the King of
 Persia in the last act. Now, you come here
 tomorrow at ten, letter-perfect, or you'll be
 back in the second row, earryin' tin sword, first thing you know!"--Puek.