The Red Cloud chief., 1888-09-28
MISCELLANEOUS.

MS cap wI'ic using the telephone, liz
formed u Gucs;;oacr tina; ne did so be-
cause he was talking to mis- superior
officer.
Tho man who finds fault with
every thing. usually does so becausc
he wants to get ever on the amount Of
fault tina: is found with him.-Ner chast
1rdreier.
An even temper laughs at the ther-
mometer. and better Is a flannel shirt
with GOODNESS and cOntcntment than n
sealskin OvercOat with Il forward mind.
". y. Sun.
-'Cholly-''l say, Blink. did you
ever witness Il burial at sea-" Binx-
mo. never saw u burial. but We had a
wake behind us all the way over last
trip."-Hrper's Bear.
1T takes a year. my dear" said
an old lady to bride of a couple OF
months who was anxious about her
husbands affection. Ito know a man
n then yOuknOw nothing abou, him"
doctor Ito patient. who complains
of {. great number of troubles): ..Wha:
a splendid fund of health o must DOS
scss. my dear madam. 10 maintain it
against so many attacks."-F2iegc nde
Butter.
The young lady of Fon du Lite who
heard that batherS ut the seashorc were
required to- Wear trunks purchased two
extra Sara:ogaS for the purpose
Northeastern.
Some Of those old saws have a
great deal to aDSwer for. Fer instance,
if somebody hadn't once said, 1T is
never too late to mend" probably IA
good many people would not be post
pOning the process So Iong.-Shoc aai
Leather Reporter.
A certain means % stopping a dog
fight or lOosening Il vicious dogs hold
upon any thing Is s~howering something
owe the animal that will produce
sneczing. Be his will power ever ST.
strong the motion of sneezing invol-
UNFAIRLY opens Il dogs jaw. Pepper
cry well. but snuff is the best,
rs it can be used without limit.
WHY cant they make these dunn
mics more lifelike?" said Il facetious
hating with a friend i'm front of
a clothing store on Market street and
IA figure Il vigorous blow ON
cheek. The dummy" turned
suddenly. let fly his left. and the face
.ious man e down on the pavement
Is though struck by Il lightning ex-
,ress.-fHTaielphm 7Tnes.
III LEFT the business long ago."sail
he ex-uu;pirc. ''but it seems to follow
ne still. even to rnS own home" How
s that!'' asked his auditor. We'll.
ny son works in an iron mill and my
Is 4 fine young lady. l COZ
ZONE st night and find my boy on
trike and ny girl gone on balls and
Ever my wife gives NE chicken
'ings-fOul tips. you know" And the
Id umpire sighed.-PWs5urgh Groa-
lie.
One night at a meeting q negro
earnestly that he and his breth-
en- might be preserved from what he
allied their '~'upsettin' sins" ''Brud-
err" one of his friends said. ..yOu amt
OF de hang OBJ dat ar word. It's be
not 'upsettin'.'" ..Brudder,"
splied he. IF that's SD. its SD; but 1
prayin' de Lord to save us from dc 4
OBJ 'tOxicatiOn. an if dat amt a up =
,ttin' sin. i dunno what am"
"A girl who by chance was COM
to wash her face with the juice
a watermelon found it SO soothing
lat she continued it and to her joyful
discovered that her freckles
ere disappearing. She applied the
wv wash with vigor than ever.
I'd soon they We're entirely gone. This
axes the ven 1000 things which
e said to be sovereign remedies for
New York thing you Chi
married folks ought to live to-
'ther. if only for appearances sake.
'st think what an awful reputation
these divorces give your city??"
licaSO dame-"Vell. you see Chica-
has no nearby summer resort to
lich all the married women can go
cry spring and not see their hus-
nds Oitenert than once Il month. az
u do in New York. You know
aaha W0rtd.
(to prisoner who has Just
brought into court)-'.What il
II name:?' Prisoner Billings"
dge-"Where are you from. Mr..
Prisoner-'I refuse to state,
such information has nothing to do
tn the case" Judge-"But we will
mpel you to state. SIR" Prisoner
hat will be a dangerous proceeding.
assure you. l shot a Judge once"
dye (musinglD-''The prisoner is
m kentucky.'-Arkansam Trareler.
operators receive lots of
Ger. foolish and funny calls every
'ere. But a fellow here gave the ex-
ange a good n the other day. He
1g up and called for 1.-The wagon
3D." When asked What wagon
replied: Why! the one 1 left
wagon at" OF course he 60: it.
other chap the same day. called for