The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1888-01-05
WHAT A PITY

Yes, marin; that's what they do with
1t,
WHAT PITY
that 80 many otherwise attractive, polite
and particular people afflict Their friends
by the foul and disagreeable odor of
their breath; it is mainly caused by dis
ordered digestion, and can be corrected
by removing the cause, by using that
pure medicine, Sulphur Bitters.-l Health
Magazine.
There are FIVE gold dollars, said old
Hearty to his young grandsoni one for
each of your birthdays. What more could
little shaver like you wish:
Only that was as old as you, grand
pa, replied the young tlnancier.
Mistress-Why, Mary, | told you to
it is in terrible disorder.
Martyrs, mum, an | did make 1t
up; but the master came in to put on a
clane collar, mum, an he lost the but
ton.
Oh, by the way, Job, said Mrs. Smith,
the Thanksgiving proclamation is out
Who shall we inviteI
| guess, my dear. that we'll wait few
days and see if the invitations won't be
coming this way. I've got about tired
OF driving turkeys to oven for all the
relatives. 1t is about time there was a
reciprocity.
Elderly member of church, to young
man lingering on the outside-Are you
seeking the Lord, my young friend?
Young man, bashfully-No, sir, I'm
seeking bliss Carrie Jones, but | can't
wait until meeting let's out.
Teacher, at the Mission S. S.-Yes,
children, Daniel was cast into a den OF
lions. but not one Of them dared touch
him. How strange
Pupil, scornfully,-Aw, OATS nuthin'.
seen duck do that act i'll der cirkls
las year.
Little Bright Eyes-AIamma, did you
know papa was going to give gram ma a
present?
Mamma-No darling, what makes
you ask?
Cause heard him tell MIR. Smith to-
day that he was going to give the old
lady the slip tonight and go to down to
the club.
In a Pennsylvania town a man recent
| ~ NtII llllO u VI uB oNOiN ohN uonNN 80
clerk il they kept 'consecrated lye.' The
urbane clerk replied that they did, and
after purchasing the article, the man
went on his way, content that he had
bought what his wife had sent for,
When man comes home late at night
after working hard all the evening on
his books, it is mean for his wife to re-
uuire him to say, Say, should such a
shapely sash shabby stitches show be-
fore she will unbolt the front door.
How nice and quiet it is out here, she
said, as she led him from the crowded
parlor and sat on the stairs.
Yes, he replied. This would be fine
place to hang the mistletoe.
Oh, no, she returned smiling archIy.
1t is so dark here that it isn't necessary.
Snifkins-Miss L. o. Cution has made
hit as an actress, hasn't she:
Blfkins-I think not.
What makes you think so!
Well, simply this-her picture has not
been used for any soap advertisement
yet.
see.
Ma, said little Scranton student of
natural history yesterday, do frogs go to
Ireland in the winter time. when every.
thing is froye up?
No, my dear; why do you ask such
question:
Because teacher says they always hi
bernate in winter, was the reply OF the
young hopeful.
Pass me the butter, Charles, she said.
She had been a widow, she had married
again, and they too, had gone TO Wash
ington to begin the honeymoon.
NV name is George. he said coldly,
and with discriminating emphasis.
| know IL George, she replied; you
must excuse me. | was misIed. 1t is the
same butter.
Il Ayers Cherry Pectoral is recommended by EN-
inent physicians, or both sides o. the Auannc' q
the most reliable remedy for colds, coughs and
l all pulmonary disorders. Inquire OF your drug
gist for Ayers AlmInAc.
Il A Hartford youDgster goes to church
where the concluding amen OF the par
sons prayer is sung by the choir. The
other night after he had said his prayers
he produced harmonica from beneath
his pillow and astonished his mother by
blowing blast where the amen came in
remarking: That's the way we do in
church.
Oh, what A Cough.
VIII you heed the warning, The sig
nal perhaps of the sure approach OF thai
more terrible disease, consumption. Ash
yourselves il you can afford for the sake
of saving so cents, to run the risk and
do nothing for it. We know from ex-
perience that Shiloh's Cure will Cure
your Cough. 1t never fails. This ex
plains why more than a million bottles
= were sold the past year. 1t relieveI
: Group and whoopinR cough at once
Mothers do not be without it, For lam'
h back. side or chest. use Shiloh's Porou
Plaster. Sold by ]. T. ShurIleff, Mali
a street. Bennington.
!. As two ladies were riding one day il
4 one of the towns OF Berkshire, Mass,
i they said TO little girl by the roadside
0 Can you tell US the way to Shaker Vii
:: lage? ..
n yes. ma'am, was the quick and polit
reply; you go right down to my grand
d ma then you take the road to Shake
A 4 81 q tara