Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1888-11-02
PlTH AND POINT.

Irony-Tho wit of tho laundry.
Letters of acceptance-I. q. u.
The home stretch Tho clothes limo.
Prophets of Evil-Tho wages OF sin.
TO mako long story short-Cut away
all but tho wisdom.
The French eaters Of horscllcsh prefer
the animals curricd
Tho Quick and tho Doad-Tho tolo.
graph and the messenger boy.
In going up the ladder of famc, wc
meet many coming down. life.
The sweetest of sweet girls who viii
wait for you is worth her wait in gold
1t often happens in politics that n fact
that has "lcakcd out" Ind never leaked
in.
Pay heed to tho idle rumor. Some day
the idle roomcr may fail to pay his room
rent.
An early settler Tho Bowery lodgcr
who has TO pay for his lodging before
going to bed.
A physician usually treat his patients,
but hc does not treat them well. Bling.
hamton RelWiican.
"Sarah," sail the small boy ut the
lnwn-mowcr TO his nurse, "comc out and
help me peel the grass"
The young man who is too fresh gen.
orally finds himself i'll II pickle sooner OF
later.-Ot Oity B,i1sard.
1t is confidently asserted, that not all
the mon killed by falling beams Are vic.
tins of sunstrolle. Time.
Judges nrc tho ones who lay down tho
law, and when it is nicely hid down the
lawyers jump on it.-EpOch.
Tho first assisted Italian immigrant
10 this country was person named
Christopher Columbus. s.-l'Uck
The sacred COW of India Is the only
representative of the bovine trihe which
can DO casscd rs II beast Of pray.-Piis.
IW0 Chronicle.
The artist who put up gilt signs may
not DC much Of n correspondent, but ho
turns out some brilliant lcticrs.--4Ue,-
Chant 1rdceier.
Ships arc about the only thing we
know of that can travel mile after milo
on tacks and show no signs of pain
DansDiNo Brcc>c.
GLOW fond Charley Roberts ia of his
fathcr llo fairly worships him" eyes:
he takes after his father in tlat rcspcol.n u
-Lid,per'S Bazar.
Hc-'T wonder what makes the flies
80 sticky to-day2" Shc-"I suppose it
must be that new fly pancr you Sought
-BWlingtOa Free Press.
Mrs. Maginns-"Luls al the sthrut on
the youngster, Mokcl" Mr.. Mnginnis-
"Bcgobs, CT he knpas on loko that Opll
make n park policeman of 'em.-Jmlgs.
"Bascball is n game requiring great
skill and courage, is it not." "Ycs, it
is; the scorer needs the skill and the
umpire the courage. MAO York. Maos.
Stranger in haste asks nntivc of the
place where he arrived Tho night before
after dark Whats tho quickest way
to get to the dcpoti" "Run, you fool -
-B0tOn Times.
"Hcllo, Jones' Been away
shooting for couple of weeks, haven't
you" Jones -" Yes" Robinson
"Woll, what did you bng" Jones'
"Ny trousers. "-Ncio York Mdrs.
Professor" -"Grctchcn Please take
the cat out of tho room. cannot have
it making such noise while am Mt
work. Where is iti" Gretchen -"Why,
Professor! You arc sitting on it, sir /"
--Fliegende Bidetter.
How sweet is tho voice of tho festive lawn.
mower
As it sings and convcrses Mt morn;
How bithely it shutters, now fnstor now
slower,
While shaving tho beard Off tho lawn.
Judge.
Lady-"This lobster, sec, is marked
two francs higher than the others; how
is that2n ''Wcll, you see. maam, it
happens to be fresh !" replied The vendor,
smiling, as il ho had said the most
natural thing in the world lie Fvccur.
Guest (indignantly)-"Whitcr, there
are feathers in this soup" Waller Tin
specting iD-"Why, so there are. /
thought ] was giving you bean soup.
It's chicken broth, sir; costs ten cents
more" Changes figures on the check.
-Chicago 1ri5un'.
lie was telling tho boys that he had
was an oh ect of en- and admiration
but this did not last long, for as he moved
away tho peculiar joint motion of his
knees betrayed the fact that he wore
patent wooden legs. Acorns do not
grow on basswood. Cyns,itu.
ti0a.
'l'll tako your caramels and gum
drops, Mr.. Pedunc'c." said Willie, can.
didly, as he pocketed tho confectionery
given to him by the young man, "but
I'll tell you right now that Irene isn't at
home and isn't going TO be, either. un-
less Mr.. Hankinson comes. She told the
girl SO herself five minutes ago. heard
her. p Chieago Tribune.