Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1888-12-20
NEW FIRST READER.

"eW fIHST READER
1--WE Lsssons That WIN He Fou.d n
seructivs - Wen - Amusing.
Lesson How Is the President OF
the United States chosen?"
"By the ballots of the electors"
"How many votes does each electos
have?"
''Only one. but there are several Off
sets He can bet on his candidate, get
drunk on election day. and abuse his
hest friend because he votes the other
way"
"How often is a President chosen?"
"Once in four years. Three years
OF this Is devoted to wire-pulling. and
the other to knocking the business of
the country into cooked hat"
"ls it wrong to bet on election?:'
Not if your side wins. If your
party gets left it is very-very wrong"
What is meant by universal suf-
frage?"
1t means that a nan who has little
natural sense or judgment can sell his
vote for a sack of -four. while q
woman OF wit who has received the
highest education must stand back and
let the gang run things as they please"
"Wffat is the sacredness of the bal.
lot-box?"
Getting in the most votes for your
party. and it doesn't matter how you
get them. either"
Lesson IL Why do the men
quarrel?'
1t is citizen jawins with farmer
about a barrel of cider"
Didn't he like the cider!
"He says it was half water.''
"And what does the farmer say?'
He denies it in a vigorous man.
ner."
''ADd does he tell the truth?''
HE does. He made that cider with
his own hands and he put in only one
third water. When a man charges
him with putting in half water he is
going altogether too far. and the farm
CIR does right to stand on his dignity
and wear an injured look.''
LESSON ILL.," Does the man run?"
Eyes. he goes as fast as horse"
lis he flying from the police?"
"Oh, no. He is flying from his
friends
''Are they too good to him?''
They are. He was candidate for
Office and was elected by handsome
maj ority. All this mob voted for
him"
'.And have they gathered to con-
graduate him?''
''Sorter, and sorter to remind him
that he promised each an Office, and
that they want it right off quick"
"And can he escape them by run
ning?'
''Only temporarily. They'll make
him the most miserable man in Amer.
lea in the next month. He might
better go and hang himself at once"
Lesson Wis the man disguised
with the weather?"
"Oh, no. The weather just suits
him.
But something troubles him."
"Yes, he is the proprietor of
And-What?"
When he started out this morning
he met man who is going to estab-
fish milkery. Five minutes later he
was asked to name location for a
buttery. A little later he encountered
a man making ready to set up an egg
cry. He headed for home, but was in
vited into coffery, and he hadn't got
lodging when the owner of a
butchery asked him if he thought it
would be profitable to open a honeyry
in connection. just now he is hurry
ing to get away from a chap who pro-
poses to open a fruitery on the corner,
having come West to try his hand,
after failing in vegetablry in the
East"
LESSON "" Does the grocer
laugh?'
"Ah! he shakes all over"
Business must be good with him."
90 1t isn't that A woman just came
along and inquired for apple butter"
"And didn't he have any?"
Mot to suit her. She looked at it
md was not pleased. She said she pre-
Ierred her apple butter done up in
pound cakes and rolled in cloth.
rot Free Press.
Gloves for Stylish Women.