The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-12-23
BIG FOUR STORY TELLERS
ALL GREAT, BUT THE GREATEST
IS ALLEN OF MISSISSIPPI.


The Others are Laid1aw of New York.
Tarsney of Michigan, and Mason of
neutrality-suspicious. of Their Style
Vance of Connecticut Does Very
Well for Young Man.
WASHINGTON, Dec. q. There are four
storytelling suns in the House of Repre-
senta ives. Around them revolve a score
or more of planets. The suns give out a
light of their own. 1t penetrates to every
nook and Granny of I House, and makes
them welcome in every cloak and committee
room. The planets reflect the light of the
suns, and tone it down when too garish.
The celestial bodies in the world of reminis-
cence are equally divided between the re-
publicans and democrats. John Allen of
Mississippi and Timothy E. Tarsney of
Michigan are representative Loco Foco mar
rators, and William E. Mason of Illinois
and William G. Laidlaw of New York fiji
the bill on the republican side The most
brilliant of the suns is the MiSSissippan,
The light of his humor is as clear
and sparkling as the light of an
old mine diamond. His stories bear
the stamp of genuine originality. They are
drawn from the pages OF his personal expe-
rience, and are unmatched in congress.
I.aidlaw is fully as quaint and enter aiming
when combining himself to his recollections
of Chautauqua county. Outside of that
boundary, however, his stories are usually
reset ge us. The setting is always more
brilliant than the jewel. Mason's tales re-
mind you of Florida beans swi ging fir m
a watch chain. Unknown persons gather
them ON the sands of time, and the Chi
cago congressman polisheS them. Tarsney's
"reminiscences have a Celtic flavor. They
recall scenes from Harrlgan's plays. You
can almost hear the fiddles in Dave Bra
hams orchestra while he recites them. The
planets are of all magnitudes, from ponder
Gus Jupiter down to the asteroids.
The best Of stories are usually generated
in the heat of election contests. The late
presidential fight was undoubtedly as fruit
full as ever, but little of the fruit has been
b ought back to the House. Much of that
little is bruised and specked. The remain
der, however, is sound and of an exquisite
flavor. When the House debates are long
and uninteresting, and when there are te-
dious roll calls, the story teller is in his ele-
ment. He either finds so a in the rear of
the hall or he occupies chair near glow
ing CRATE in a cloak room. His audience Is
proportioned to his mellowness. If right
mellow, the "reminiscences are rare and racy.
The laughter of the bys anders frequently
interests the galleries. At times the speaker
is annoyed. A sharp rap of the gavel may
scatter the crowd. If not, word of warn
ing is heard.
At the opening of the present session the
republicans were exceedingly jubilant.
Their presidential success had been capped
by a reported majority in the next congress.
Each member told how it was done. Many
claimed that the speeches of the "rebe
brigadiers" had increased their pluralities.
James S. Sherman of Oneida county, N. Y,
said that John Allen had secured him l 900
votes. John had turned up il Utica aboard
Of an Erie canal boat, and everybody had
turned out to hear the confederate brig
adler. When questio ed concer ing the
result, John replied: Il reckon not. The
boys were VITA me. / capt red them at
once. | told them, of course, that | had
served through the war, but not as con-
Tolerate brigadier. was oily little mite
IN the army-a no account rebel private
and said I, ''If you yankees really knew
how very little harm | did to the Union
army | am sure there is not one among you
who would not gladly forgive me- This
brought down the house, and stopped the
brigadIer cry in Utica. "
Laidlaw's favorite seat is in corner OF
the republican cloak room. He sits there
surrounded By Charles S. Baker, John
Kean, Jr., James j. Belden, Stephen T.
Hopkins. and others. All smoke Beldeu's
cigars and are good listeners. Laidlaw fire.
quently trenches on the domain of the negro
minstrel. The other day his listeners we're
ia a quandary. He had put his question:
why is G. over like maple tree z?
Even Keeae gave it up.
''B cause he leaves in the spring." was
the reply.
George Thatcher would say that this
conuudrum is based upon the survival Of
the fittest,n Baker remarked, but certain it
is that Laidlaw claims to have been the
first to apply it to the President.
Two weeks ago bushy-headed William E.
Mason came back from Chicago. A demo-
cratic member met him in The speakers
lobby. "Well, Billy" said he, you've had
an easy time in congress u"der demo-
cratic administration. When Harrison's
inau surated, and you have to trot around
the departments looking for patronage
under the civil service law, it won't be so
easy"
'iPve had a foretaste of what was COM
ing Mason replied; '.twenty-seven men
after one postoflicel Pm like tue son whose
father died aud left him all the property,
disinherlting the rest Of the family. The
lawyers broke i'll and began to eat up the
asked the sou when the litigation would
end Il don't know he replied 1T has
given me world of trouble, and between
you and me, John, / sometimes almost wish
that the old man hadn't Nv died "
TimothyssE Tarsney Is dem Jcratic con-
gresham knocked out at the late election.
tie represents a salt and lumber district in
Michigan Both articles were scheduled on
the free list in the Mills bill When asked
the cause of hi, defeat, Timothy replied:
1T was the tariff. My constitute IS applied
Bill Morrison,s principles to me. Four wears
ago / was elected by 1900 majority. l
came down here and voted for tho Morrison
horizontal reduction tariff bill and went
back home They applied the horizontal
reduction system to me. Two years ago
they returned me with 800 majority.
came down here and voted for the Mills bill.
This year my constituents landed me on the
free lst.n
Robert j. Vance is planet in the firma-
ment of congressional humor He brings
from New Britain, Conn, a fund OF good
election st ries The best is an account OF
conversation which he says he overheard
between two lrishmen. They were discuss
ing the merits OF the Mills Till.
y Pat said of them, 'sure can't oon-
dersthand fwhat they name by raw ma
terial, so can't"
Sure that's aisy enough, Jenny, so It
Is" Pat replied. "Do you moind the spuds
beyAntn pointing to a basket OF potatoes
near the door Of grocery.
Il do, then,n was the answer.
"Whin you dig thin from the ground,
sure they're raw material; but whln you
boil thin, mid thafr shk IN stIrA thQyire