Iuka reporter. (Iuka, Miss.) 1888-1894, 1888-06-21

= e.L4anae, - = -
OPENING THE SEASON.
Mother Ito boy who was badly used
up)-Why, for goodness sake, Adrian
Adrian-Don't say nuthin', Mother.
Do you hear them shouts2 We have
beaten the champion Mudlung nire and
killed an umpire
1t was in Boston private school of
fashionable repute, and the class of
young ladies who had been studying the
history and the Constitution of the
United States were under examination.
"How is law made9" said the in
structor.
"Oh," said tailor-made damsel
cheerfully, "the Senate has to ratify
it, and then the President has to veto
It'll"
GIVEN AWAY.
Mamma don't see where papa can
be. He's very late tonight.
Mildred Why, he's fixing his cane or
something. 1 heard him tell Uncle
George, this morning.
Mamma-What did he say
Mildred-He said George, I've got to
blow that new club of mine off to night. %
It'd Bits
A SUBSTITUTE.
Mr.. Rural Hayseed, lin town on Wis
it, has just been shaved, and the tonso-
rial artist touches him for hair
cut.
Barber-Your hair looks pretty bad
comes over your coat collar, sir Shan't
fix it for you?
Hayseed-Wall, l don't care if you
do. You might just pull the coat collar
down little.
In the death of Leary New York
loses one of her distinguished burglars.
Mr.. Leary was hit on the head with a
hard burnt brick, and lived but few days
after the conclusion. It may be truly
said that during Mr.. Leary's long ca
reer every door was open to him.-Cou-
rier-JournaS.
Visitor Ito Montana widow And you
say your husband met his death by fall
ing off scaffold2
Montana Widow-Yes; poor John.
Visitor-How far did he fall2
Montana Widow-Er-oh, the fall was
about three feet, 1 think.
NOT FOR HIMSELF.
Mendicant-Will you please gimme
TO- T L
to take care of.
Gentleman-A big robust man like
you ought not to beg.
Mendicant with dignity)-I am not
begging for myself, sir; l am begging
for my blind brother.
ACQUAINTED.
Fogg, the eminent lawyer (who has n
weakness for charging high fees), to
nephew who has been specializing
What! you paid two dollars for one rab-
bit, Bobby.3
Bobby (seven years old)-Yes, sir.
Fogg-Why didn't you consult your
unclel
Bobby (who has heard of his uncle's
fame)-Then it might have cost me five.
RIGHT FACE.
A story is told of an Irish drill SER
geant who had been put in charge of an
awkward squad. At the word of com
mand: Fright face, one of the recruits
turned completely about, bringing him
self exactly in the same position from
which he started.
"Holy Mosesl" shrieked the drill SER
geant, s'Phat does yez name by turnin'
completely about, when | SEE right
face 2"
The recruit was as awkward in his an.
swer as he had been in his manmuvring
and the old sergeant, with the intention
OF sending him to the guard house. de-
manded his name.
Turner" said the man, whereupon
Irish wit asserted itself and the old ser.
geant said:
"Begorra, and yez couldn't help it
then"
Guest (to Florida hotel What
IS tins item among the extras"
weather vane, "a 7" Hotel keeper
Yes, sir; we charge 81 day for telling
which way the wind blows, and there is
no money in it at that. Tid6sts.
PROUD OF HIS DOG.
Mrs. smith left the house few
minutes s1is afternoon, John. and hahy
destroyed those two cigars you left Law.
ing on the footrest.
e. Mr.. Smith-The meddling little thing,
She ought to have been punished TbaSsa
cigars cost me 20 cents 'o