The Portland daily press., 1888-12-08
DIR. Pierce's Pel'ets-gently laxative or actively
catnartio according 10 dose. 20 cents.

Dr' flerces Pei ets-genty laxative or actively
catnartio according 10 dose. 20 cents.
Seven rules for perfection.
Seven is the perfection number, and If the fol-
lowing seven rules were faithfully observed they
would do something toward a perfect man. Be
fore thou openest thy mouth think:
?. Why thou shouidst speak it.
3. To whom thou art about TO speak.
Concerning whom or what thou art about to
8. What will result therefrom
9. What benefit IL can produce.
z. Who may he listening. of4
All cases of weak or lame back,
backache, rheumatism, win find relief by wearing
one of Carters Smart Weed and Belladonua
Backache Plas. ers. Price % cents. Try them.
Hero is an article headed Marvellous Escape
of Distinguished Citizen from Horrible
Death" said the dutiful daughter, who was read
i!ng the e., morning paper to her invalid father.
shocked on learning few mornings ago that
ia ne interrupted the irritable. parent. .be.
nyou1 Hook about half way down TO the bottom
Of the article and see whose patent medicine it's
They were speaking OF Bounceabout.
broWn-One thing yon must admit, and that Is
ne Is man OF high principles. fArs f4
FoEs-fes; bnt he is never so narrow-minded
as 70 use them in his dealings with his fellow
men.
Look here" said the lecturer to boy who was
disturbing him by constant coughing there's 25
cents TO get bottle Of DIR. Bull's,Cough Syrup.
30 cts.
No remedy equals Salvation OIL for cure Of
bruises, cuts, burns, frostbites, and chilblains.
q Ere comes benevolent lookin' old coyen
said a peripateuc gentleman of leisure to his
chum on the street corner; 'let's tackle him for
the purpose Of nights lodgn'."' "
Don't yer think of IT, bill,,' hastily responded
the other selling his arm. Lets wait for some
body that's half full. Them benevolent lookin
s SSeks as wants 70 organize themselves into
aiors they give ye quarter don't wanter stay
Tho breath of a chronic catarrh PATIENTS
often so offensive that he cannot go into society
and he becomes an object of disgust. After a
time liberation sets in. the spongy bones are at
tackled, and frequently entirely destroyed. A
constant source OF discomfort is the dripping Of
the purulent secretions into the throat, some
times producing inveterate bronchitis, which in
its turn has been the exciting cause of pulmonary
disease. The brilliant results which have attend
ed its use for years past properly desg nate Elys
Cream Balm as by far the best IL not the only
real cure for hay fever, rose cold and catarrh.
An exchange tells of an old general married
to young and handsome vile, who delights in
entertaining an after dinner company with stories
OF his prowess, sagacity and foresight during the
war whenever the opportunity presents itself. To
listen to him, one would imagine that the ultimate
success OF the Union arms was all due to him, and
that the share Grant or Sherman or Sheridan had
in the matter was comparatively small one. One
of his stories always begins:
when was down In the wilderness with
Grant In '64"- - ~
That's the usual signal for half the company to
leave the room, but Il doesn't interrupt the old
general In the least. He W. uld go on talking and
finishing his story, were no one present and only
the four walls there TO listen to his wonderful
tale.
Mamma" said the little seven-year-old daugh-
ter of the general the other day tier having lis
te ed on the stairs TO the old story which her
father had just concluded In the dining room to a
company Of guests, Mamma, wasn't there any
body to help papa put down the rebellion? There
must have been some awfully mean men In those
days"