Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1888-05-19
Faint Smiles.


ger ut a concert): 'Is that the violin
virtuoso just leaving the stage7"
Stranger: 'Durned il Know whether
he is virtuous or not. but he can play
the fiddle like Washington
Critic.
"Why do you suffer from catarrh?"
asked medical advertisement.
"What a fool question. Because
that's what's the matter with US. Do
you expect fellow to suffer from dis
location of the hip joint when he has
Observation-Disclosures.
Mamma" said Connecticut-ave.
girl, just returning from visit to a
Maryland farm, ''Tou are always talk
ing about nice country milk, and how
much better and richer it is than the
milk you get in the city. but think
you are mistaken" II don't think /
am" replied the mother. "Well, I
know you are, for they used to water
the COWS twice every day, while was
at Aunt AIMS" The poor mother
went upstairs and shed few scalding
tears. Washington Critic.
According to Boston paper it is a
very poor day when fashionable
New York clergyman doesn't preach
to $50,u00 worth of good clothes.
But il they are good, why should he
preach to them?-Rutland Herald.
A Boston paper, at the close Of a
long article, asks this question: "Are
the young ladies of the present day
fitted for wives?" A much more i'm.
poitant inquiry is whether they are
fitted for husbands.
o weary man! 1t isn't the weight
of the burden Of which you complain,
after all; it's the material. Twelve
pounds of baby make some men tired
unto death in less than 2 hours,
whereas 100 wounds of sweetheart
used to sit IN the same lap from 8 p.
| NJ. to 1915 A. NJ. without a murmur
from the lapidary. Half a mile to
church is a long walk, when 10
miles tramp around billiard
| table is recreation. A man who
can carry lightly about in his
person a pound OF beef and pota-
toes, is bowed down with weight of
woe when he encysts himself around
a pound of hot mince pie. tell you,
brother, pound of lead is heavier
than a pound of feathers.
An army officer tells this story: cat
the battle of Gettysburg, heavy fight
ing was going on at the front. The
wounded in great numbers were being
carried past us to the rear. At this
moment when ones backbone needed
all the bracing possible, saw on
tree, some little distance from me, q
paper which looked so much like a
notice OF a horse-race or public sale
that left my position and rode up
to read it. "Phansy my felinks," as
Yellowplush says, when l read the
following: Bodies of officers carefully
embalmed and forwarded by early ex-
press to their friends for fifty dollars.
n. B.-The bodies of privates at half
price. Undertakers and Embalmers. !"
Young Mr.. Softly Badboy, home on
a vacation, entertaining lady friend
"And this is our class vel, Miss Weak
nerves, Hoo pah; hoo pah; hoo PAIL
yah hoo, yah-hool DOM pah, Dom pah,
wa-hee wacheel ki-hi ki-nii ki-hiya va,
va va, waugh" Told Weak-nerves ex-
plains next morning, while paying a.
tine of $50 for assault with a deadly
weapon with intent to commit bodily
! injury and murder, that he had had
'em himself only about ten days ago,
and when the attack came on the
young man he lost all control OF him
self and grabbed up an adj and bug
gy wrench and went for him.-Bur-
dette.
It is often little amusing to note
{ the proud yet embarrassed manner OF
, a young husband who for the first
!, time introduces his bride TO strangers.
The words my wife" are so new and
, strange to his lips that he cannot
speak them as he would other words.
: At a wedding, recently, there were
among the guests a large number oil
! friends OF the bridegroom who had not
! yet met the bride. After the ceremony
! they OF course came forward to be
presented to her, and to each ofthem,
, the husband, dazed possibly by his
!, great happiness, SAID, my wife. Miss
Brown" The young wife, who was
!. no longer Miss Brown, soon found an
!, opportunity to say in an undertons
to her husband, why, Henry, I'm
not Miss Brown now; Pm Mrs. c.
"Oh-oh-so you are!' said Henry
in a bewildered manner that was very
laughable, and moment later he said
!, TO a friend, "0h, I'm so glad to pre-
!, sent Miss Brown, my wife, you know
!, to you'll"
ST A Mrs. Blank was spending the sum
! mer in the country (says the Boston
\ Courierl and was very anxious tC
il catch certain train. As that event
II seemed, from the leisurley gait OF thu
y horse, extremely uncertain, she urged
I, the country driver to make the beas
!, go faster. The coachmau piled whiE
j. and reins with no apparent effect
while the lady alternately examined
:, her watch and encouraged the driver
:, At last, however, her patience became
\ completely exhausted, and, espyin
a place in the tough hide of tn
stolid brute where the harness
!, had rhafed, she cried out vehe
!, mently: "Hit him on the raw, Mr.
!. Casseboom Hit him on the rawv
AZ . A. HosSnhaOV,