St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-03-18

A Spinstep Thought the Pale,
Hands ONE Gentleman Was
Making Love to Her.
Spirits, Spooks and COLLINS,
Who Keep Mortals in a
Constant Stew.
A Ghostly Second Mate, Who
Issues Solemn Orders
to the Crew.
A Female Ghost Makes Ap-
rangements for a Funeral
Hidden Fortunes.

Not great while since there died in
San Francisco gentleman who was on
a visit to this coast from the East, says
the Alta California. He was apparently
a person who commanded sufficient
means for all the ordinary purposes of
life, but when ne died only small sum
of money was found in his possession.
His relatives were communicated with,
and Instructions came from his wife to
have the body embalmed, preparatory
TO shipment to his old home in the East.
This was done, and the bill, represent
ing rather a steep figure, forwarded to
the grieving widow. The sum so far
exceeded her expectations that she in
dignantly refused to pay it. and the
corpse was left in the hands of the UNI
dertaker. This gentleman had read
somewhere that in similar case down
I'm Arizona the conductor of fu-
nerals had utilized the corpse left
on lis hands as an advertisement
for his trade. Acting upon this SuggeS-
ton he had the cadaver inquestion taken
from the neat metallic coffin to which it
had been fitted, and dressed up in a
Prince Albert suit, adjusted to sitting
position in an arm chair in the back
parlor of his establishment. So perfect
ly had the embalmiDg been accom-
plished that, with the exception OF the
grayiSh pallor which overSpread the
face, the dead man looked as natural as
life. This circumstance suggested to
an ingenious young man connected with
the undertaking establishment the idea
OF utilizing the corpse for entertaining
visitors. TO this end the chair in which
1t sat was placed against thin .parti-
ton, which had been previously pierced
for the reception OF speaking tube.
This was so arranged that the tube
rested against the coat collar of the
corpse. By speaking through this from
the other side of the partition, in the
dim light of the back parlor, to the
casual observer it appeared as If the
corpse were talking.
Fortunately, however, the upright porc
sition and graceful poise of the body OF
this interesting person led all. who
looked upon it to conclude that it was
only a middle-aged gentleman sitting
there at his case. But this was not all.
The undertaker's ingenious clerk had
attached to the right arm OF the corpse
the wire of galvanic battery, and by
the proper manipulation of the instru
ment he could cause the arm to rise or
fall or gently curve around any object
near it.
One day a spinster lady of uncertain
age came into the parlOr to make some
inquiries relative to a prospective
funeral. AS she entered, the corpse,
which she supposed to be a
WELL-DRESSED VISITOR,
gracefully bowling, invited her TO take
a seat at his side, where vacant chair
was ready for her service.
Take seat, Miss, sit here Gndicat-
ing the chair. | am charmed to have
the pleasure of seeing in this desolate
apartment a lady of such destinations"
You are polite, ] am sure" muir
INJURED the battered fair one.
Il make it a point, my dear" con-
tinued the corpse, Ito note every beau
tiful face that comes into his room. You
time, night and day, and my only hap
pineSs consists in receiving and enter
tanning the occasional visitor"
why, how curious. You stay here
all the time?"
''All the time, my dear, night and day.
in fact, never leave this chair" softly
and sadly remarked the dead man.
''Are you doing penance," Sir?' i'll
quired the lady.
"Oh, no; the undertaken is my jailer."
For single moment the lady was
frightened. The thought occurred to
her that she was in the presence of a
maniac and thrill of apprehension shot
through her heart. But the calm. serene
face treasured her, and when the corpse
gently raised its right arm and calmly
encircled her waist she no longer
doubted its sanity.
You are very beautiful, my DEAR"
sighed the middle-aged cadaver,
''0h, sir, how strangely you talk"
and the lady blushed to the tips of her
pink-like ears.
you see, my dear, to lonely man
like myself, condemned to sit day after
day in this darkened chamber. such a
like a CLEAN of sunlight. | trace in
memories of my youth, when in long
by-gone years l was loved and beloved
in return. When you entered this
dreary place moment ago you seemed
TO bring me vision of the beautiful
world which lies beyond the threshold
I am never allowed to pass. and my
Withered heart turned to you with an
emotion of delight"
1t must not be supposed that the lady
listened to
THESE BOLD WORDS
without sweet and tender reflections
upon the possibilities they might lead
to. She was not very old, but she had
wanted husband longer than she had
cared to acknowledge, and words like
these naturally raised food of most
agreeable thoughts. Nevertheless she
deprecated the dead mans enthusiasm
and insisted that he was speaking unad-
Visedly. Still she turned upon him a
tender glance, which would have had
anything but a chilling effect upon the
ardor of veritable wooer. 1t seemed
to send fire through the veins of the
dead man. The arm frightened around
her waist. His words grew musical and
soft.
II see in you, my dear" continued
dreams of bliss. If only had your
sweet companionship in this desolate
room its gloom would take the hue of
radiant sunshine, and | should be con-
tent to sit here forever warmed by your
smiles and gladdened by the tender
glance OF your eyes"
"Oh, sir" sighed the lady.
''Can it be possible" continued the
enraptured dead man, ''that you re.
ciprocate my passion; that you will be
mine?"
The fair head was gently inclining to
the shoulder of the corpse when the
undertaken entered. The lady screamed
The corpse sat upright.
"Why, how is this?" exclaimed the
aStOnished dealer in collins.
''Oh, SIR gasped the fair one, ''this
gentleman has been talking so very
strangely"
"Talkingw shouted the undertaken
f'Why, you must be mad. How can {
dead man :alk?'
Dead" screamed the lady.
'Why, yes; look at him. Lore
help you! You have been courted by {
corpse"
The astonished spinster cast one font
despairing look on the ashen face of hel
wo0er, and Ainging her arms above hel
head cried piteously: Heavens! Doe:
my beauty charm the dead?" and tainted
away.