The Delaware ledger. (Newark, Del.) 1879-19??, 1888-04-07
An ELLA TlENDS.
ipiosYNcRAslEs OF WELL KNOWN
NUisANcEs.

t@Tf~ = = - ~ftT'Rf-R ~ fA-AA fNNNONFNN
NUlsANcEs.
A pInn'a Character shown by tho Way
He Carries HIS UiabrcIia--rhe ohnox-
ioua aud Dangerous "Jabbor''-swelI,
Granger and Fat Man.
A man often shows his character by tho
way he carries his umbrella II he Is absent
minded be will lug it by tho topof the handle,
careless Of whether It is folded or tapping,
and Indifferent if it trails behind him upon
the pavement He may be bustling, hurry
ing, in high spirits, and If so he frequently
twirls his umbrella in circles from the wrist
as he spins down the street. If he is fat he
uses his umbrella as acane or parasol; If he
is clergyman he carries it Imply before
him; if ho is angry he grabs it by the handle
as II it were a club; and if he is a dude he
poles the ferule in front Of him until it
strikes the pavement, and as he passes on
twitches it forward again.
One Of tho most familiar Of the umbrella
carrying species is the 'jabbein or ''shovern
He Tugs his parachute under his arm, with
the forulo straight out behind aud the handle
rigid in front. He pokes off more hats, in
dcnts moro stomachs, gouges more ribs and
iabs more spines as he walks along than one
could shake a stick at in a week. He never
stops 10 sec who he has punched Not he
With his lips compressed as tightly Us the lid
Of an iron chest, he goes on, frowning, bump
ing into passers-by, and with an air that
seems to say; IF You don't get out of the
way you'll be hurt" He is generally old and
thin, but sometimes he has not reached mid
die age. The public abhors him, and he is a
nuisance that Ko-lSo most inexcusably
omitted from his famous list
TIE MILITARY SWELL.
Tho heavy military swell is another inter
osting umbrella carrier His chest sticks out
Hike a. pouter pigeons, his now plug hat
glistens like Day & Martins backing. His
pantaloons are tho newest, his froas coat the
tightest, his mustache the waxie4t and his
glare tho most ferocious seen on the prone
made. lie carries the umbrella by his side a
good deal as If it were a sword, sticking
closely to his portly figure 1t is a soldierly
act. Even his traducers couldn't deny that.
Behold him, with his dandy parasol at an
angle OF forty-five degrees, close to his ribs,
ns he strides along in true military step, the
admiration and envy of every helmeted
policeman ON the beat and the butt for
vulgar jokes from every barefooted passing
/ newsboy
Then there is the countryman from way
back, who Tugs his venerable rain-distributor
with him when he goes over to Ridgoway
park. See him on the boat His back is
toward US, and his ancient, faded, blue para
chute is outlined beside him. He carries It
like ahoe, and al hoe that he doesn't care much
about. Its creases are worn by weather, its
handle was painted, but the paint has worn
off. He Is an emblem of the hayseed re-
gions, and so is his parasol, which he clings to
with grip like the grip of destiny He may
not lug his umbrella with much grace, but
when he gets to Ridgeway park it will be
there with him; and no matter how many
times he saves his lifen with the island beer,
he will hang on to his rain protector, and go
back with it to his home among the corn
patches and wheat fields.
THE VERY FAT MAN.
1t is a rare thing for the very fat man to
use his umbrella except as a parasol. II wards
off the suns scorching summer rays from his
round and perspiring countenance. With his
pudgy hand he grasps the handle and carries
the parachute over his crown, while his sum
mer vest flaps to and fro, and the entire area
of his person is coursed by little rills that run
into his shoes He enjoys his umbrella more
than most people As a general thing his
mouth is open, his brow is moist, his feet
come down on the trembling earth like
piledrivers as he moves on with majestic step,
and his manner of breathing resembles that
of the porpose when that fish comes to the
top of the briny pillows to blow.
The NorfollS-jacketed young man from the
cities, who carries his umbrella with him on
the seashore, is a noticeable specimen of the
genus Of umbrella carriers. The rim of his
straw hat is as stiff as the bow of a rich man
TO poor relation, and his attire is faultless,
for is he not a "gilded' youth His black silk
umbrella is wrapped so small and so tightly
that it looks Ike Cambridge walking stick.
He carries it daintily and negligently in front
Of him, as he saunters by the sad sea waves.
watching the witching gambols of the maidens
In the surf. He is harmless; so is his para
chute. Neither Of them are intended for use,
and both make combination that doesn't
look at al out Of place on the golden sands of
the sounding Shore when Augustus sun scars
annbitiously. Philadelphia News