Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1888-02-03
THE MlHD-CURE.
How it Worked on New Eng
land MaidenS.
BY HOWARD FIELDING.


The true story Of how [ became q
mind cure physician will be found
both instructive and entertaining
entertaining because l had, a lively
time and got fred from the profess
ion in dynamite style; Instructive be-
cause there are many people working
the same racket who are smart
enough to make success of it, as
was not.
1t was in the early spring that /
struck the thriving New England
city of W. | was not thriving nv
self at that time, and the indications
were that if didn't begin to thrive
before long there would be an early
grave beneath the weeping chestnuts
with it's head-board marked "H.
Fielding" Just as the skinny finger
of fate began to point with awful ac-
curacy toward starvation. | got the
inspiration which brought me to
W My simple, but elegant plan
was TO become mind-cure doctor.
Why not? l knew nothing about
medicine except that whisky cock
tail was good thirg to take in the
morning. but the cure by faith needs
no drugs. Certainly l had faith
enough; l had been living on it ever
since my credit gave out. The ouly
other requisites. as | had been told,
were cheek, good clothes, and soul
full eye. Nature had provided me
with the first and last, and with their
aid got the second out of con6d-
ing tailor. Thus equipped ] arrived
ic W and hired an office in which |
deposited u trunk full of bricks as Sc
curity for the rent.
The experiment started off with a
boom One of the local papers allud.
ed to me as "a handsome young
fraud" and in two DAYS l had sever.
al wealthy patients. They were
mostly elderly married ladies who
had been genteel invalids for years.
Ordinary common sense told ME that
there was nothing the matter with
them; and as | told them so in the
delightful vacuous language of the
profession, my conscience assured me
that | was playing the game on the
dead level. Fees Of a satisfactory
size were forthcoming, and | ate
three square meals day with joy in
my soul About twice a week on
the average | was exposed" by the
papers, and as they charged me moth
ing for the advertisement | began to
regard the editors as jolly good fel-
lows | obtained number of first
class genuine testimonials from ladies
who preferred the novel charm of
being miraculously cured to the
worn out pleasure of being incurable.
Mrs j, Blank Dash allowed her pale,
but attractive countenance to be pic
tured in the papers with the signed
statement that she had been vic.
tim to melancholia and indigestion
for five years, and had eaten her first
hearty meal since taking my treat
ment and had been in good health
ever since. This was not only true
it wasn't half the truth. In the
first place, it was ten years since she
became an invalid-only she didn'l
want to give her age away-aud sec.
ondly after being persuaded that
there was more fun in wonderful
rejuvenating through mental science
she went out and had a champagne
supper with her husband, and wanted
TO try kicking the globes off the chan
ieIicr atterw ards because ! had said
'he must take 'judicious exercise. "
dr. j Blank Dash was jolly fel-
law who appreciated the great bless
i,g OF health in his family; and be
came around the next day after the
champagne supper with a big head
AMI big check He didn't mind the
head bit, and was very glad to get
thecheck.
You're the most palpable delusion
| evr saw" said he. "but Pm much
Obliged to you just the same. I'm q
humher from Hummersville, myself
and Hike wife that can share my
innocnt amusements, We're going
| to keel open house three nights g
week il the future with q poker game
in the larlor, and free lunch in the