Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1888-07-27
Story Of a Wedding Garment

often tell me that am one of the !cancst
young men they ever saw in their lives.
When | walk the streets am gr.cvcd by
the remarks OF certain class of small
boys who have not had proper home
training. These remarks are OF COM
nnrative naturc--1 being one object of
comparison, and the lamp posts by which
am passing, the other.
If | 20 ten blocks without hearing
anything said about "bcan poles" and
diving Skeletons" | am glad. Being
Just six feet three in height does not
add particularly to the beauty of my
appearance.
Let no one suppose because l write so
onlmly of my leanncss that | am not
sensitive regarding it. am.
The day | overheard young lady say
Mt picnic that looked like Il section
of railroad bridge was the saddcst day
of my life.
To overcome rs far as possible the
grotcsquc appearance caused by my ex-
ccssivc lack Of flesh | always wear
"heavy- weight" goods, aud no tailor
ever secures my patronage who docs not
thoroughly understand the art of "pad
ding"
confess to Il certain degree of vanity
regarding my personal appearance, and
when | made the blissful discovery that
was about 10 be married gave no little
thought to the appearance l should pre-
sent on an occasion when, more than nj
any time in my life, so many persons
would be gazing upon me-
read books or etiquette to know if,
under any circumstances, man might
properly lie married with his ovcrcoat
and two suits of clothes on, but, to my
distress, found this was allowable only
in cases OF clopcmcnt, and rs nv wife
had set her heart on n church wedding
with everybody in full dress, gradually
forced myself into the conviction that
the oyercoat and one SUIT of clothes
would have to be dis artlcd.
y man of my "build looks positively
aud Incidentally awful in the convcn-
tlonal. clnging, black light weight gar
menis of which most suits are made.
When | see sIch man thus arrived |
nm really convinced that there is some.
thing III the Darwinian theory.
But, as it had to be so, was married
IN the garments best calculated to make
my attenuation glaringly apparent. NV
friends were kind, however, and said
nothing to cast a cloud on my hapnines,
all but INV sister Nell She owed me
II grudgc dating back to the days of our
childhood, and, as she put her arms
around my neck and kissed me, she
whispered in my ear
''Oh. Tom, you look awfully shoe
ringy in that suit"
separation of four years made it pos.
s.b for me to speak to Nell when we
met again, but sometimes fear that we
can never be the dear friends we once
were.
After our marriage my wife and went
immediately TO II far distant Western
atty, i'll which we made our home. | was
too poor to throw or give away nv de-
tested wedding garments, but soon re.
duced them to Il state of great shabbi-
ness by wearing them under my over
coat when about my work rs reporter
on daily paper. We were not society
people, and had no idea that l would
over again need Il suit OF that kind. One
day when | went home to dinner nv wife
said:
See here, Tom. it's shame for YOU
to be wearing that handsome $40 suit ont
in that way. Don't you suppose Won
could sell it and get some more suitable
and cheaper garments for everyday
wear"
l here take occasion to say that my
wife is very economical as well rs n
practical and sensible woman. Some
times think she knows more than
know.
told her that would think about
her suggestion. A wise man will never
seem to come into immediate accord with
the opinions OF his wife. 1t is always
best to bang back and pretend that YOU
have little sense OF own, even though
you know that you have not.
AT IL o'clock that night, rs / was
closing my desk at the ohce preparatory
to going home, the managing editor Of
my paper said:
"See here, Dixon; that report YOU
wrote OF the trouble up at the Christabcl
mine was uncommonly well done, and
will be talked about tomorrow. think
can got your salary raised on the
strength OF it. In the meantime. here's
a little of something to show you that
the paper appreciates good work"
AS he spoke lie handed me a crisp,
new $40 bill. He was rich; the paper
was making great deal of money, and
l felt that l was not being pa as much
as earned, so took the money without
any hesitation. Fifty dollar bills were
very scarce at our house and, rs hurried
home through the dark streets, fancicd
to myself my WIGS pride and pleasure
when | should tell her of my good fortune
on the morrow.
For perfect security l folded and re-
folded the bill until it was about an inch
saaare, and tucked it down into tho
watch pocket of my pantaloons, n pocket
had never used before, and one that
few men, clothed in their right minds,
ever use at all.
Before morning was awakened by y
great fire in distant part OF the c. ty, and
hastily donning an old suit that 1 kept
for just such occasions, 1 hurried out tt
get good report of the fire, which
happened to 5e of unusual magnitude
We got out an ''extra." and it was late
in the afternoon when I reached homo
again. AS entered the house my wifi
held up ten and five dollar bill and
said triumphantly:
"Therc, my dear, you have that much
to pay on suit that will do you some
good. You don't know What n manage,
+ you've married While you were away
to-day Ispongcd, brushed and gasolined
YOU. wedding snit until it looked almost