The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1888-08-02
ALWAYS IN TROUBLE.
How Carl Dunder Gets Deceived And
SwindIcd gain.

SwindIed Again.
'Oh. vest YOU are the man who was
never coming down here again." ex-
claimed Sergt. Bendall as Carl Dunder
entered the station.
"Vhell, | dunno. Maybe | like to
speak nit YOU a leedle."
''Speak on. l suppose you have been
swindled again?"
Sergeant, maype YOU know how
she vhas himself some day. Maybe
YOU 90 oafer by Shermany, und when
you vhas dere you find dot nottings
vhas two times alike"
'Well, go ahead
'.Do some letter-carriers go aboud
mitoudt uniforms onYn
''Yes-new ones"
''Fhell, man comes in my place de
odder morning und gifts me letter.
Dot vhas all right. She vhas letter
from some tailor dot makes clothes
VERY sheap. Dot same man comes in
der next morning NIT some odder let
ter. He SAYS she vhas registered, und
| have to sign my name und pay feefty
cents"
Il see.'
"Vhell. pay, und it vhas a circular
dot if | want some orange groves Tor
so l shall 90 to Florida. Vhas dot all
right?"
at was put up job to swindle you
out of half dollar"
But if | get dot orange grove for
so vhas ahead
''Humph. Anything else happen?"
''Vhas Cleveland to be president
again?"
He has been renominated.n
docs he make new postoffice for
Detroit?"
I'VE are to have one during the next
century. Do you want TO be postmas-
ter?n
mo; but a man comes in my place
the odder morning und says vhas |
son named Shake? | haf. Please call
him in. l calls Shake in, und dat man
measures him nit tape-lne, looks at
his tongue, feels of his neck. und says:
"'She yhas all right. Mr.. Dunder,
you vhas a Cleveland man, l hear"
Il vhas."
"'Und you like tohaf Shake be some
boss in der building of der postoflice
und earn 81 day"
81 SHALL
''He takes his name, age, weight,
und der color of his hair, und we haf
some beer unit cigars. Some odder fel-
lows comes in und | treat EN- also.
Some more fellows come in. und Shake
says he like to make it all right. Dot
crowd almost clean me oudt. All der
afternoon und evening somepody comes
in und says:
"'Hello! olt mans, but dot vhas all
right! Shake vhas a good poy, und
dot shob belongs to him. Here vhas to
your good luck"
Has Jake got it yet?n
"Vhell. he goes oafer by dot big
! hole in der ground unit stays aroundt,
but nobody shpeaks to him"
Cant you and Jake get into that
hole and bury yourselves?"
''Why vhas dOt?H
''To save you from the next SWIM
dler. It's wonder you haven't lost
your teeth"
Does dot mean l vhas some green
horn?"
docs it?m ] should smile."
Il like to shmile, too. but | can't
When l tell Shake he viii feel awful
badt. [ like you to look at dis gas bill
Il leedlc.n
Certainly. This bill shows that YOU
burned s. worth of gas In May"
But ] can't make her Oudt. AbOudt
der middle Of May young man comes
i'll my place NIT = lantern in his hand
unit goes Ply dot gas meter. When he
| comes away he saws: "Mr. Dundcr, |
vhas a leedle hard oop to-day, und if
you can let me haf 81 | cit you all der
| gas you can burn dis month
''And YOU let him have it?n
''Vhell, like to oblige somepody,
don't I?n
''But you have discovered that he
was fraUd?"
"Ycs, but can help dot; can | call
eaferyp0dy liar und a tief; can |
shump on eafery mans collar?"
But you must have better judg.
ment"
.'Shudgment, When an expressman
comes und / pellet he is a shwindle
und knock him oafer, dot is shudg-
| ment. When he comes again und
| shmiles on him, he leafs me big stone
und collects 81. Dot vhas more shudg-
| menti One time SOMEONE come py me
to collect money for der orphans, und
| you laugh und say l vhas greenhorns.
Der next day somepody comes to col
lect money for der poor und l knock
his head off, und you like to send me
to shall. ShudgmentI L like to see
somepody haf some shudgment in this
country. Sergeant, good day! l hat
IL, Il Il
place for sale sheap, und some more
shudgment dot 90 back to Shermany
right away. y."-DetroH Free Press.