Morning journal and courier., 1888-07-09
SORRY.

A young horse always goes faster after be- ing broken. It's the same with ten-dollar bill.-Yonkers Statesman.
 It is said lightning can be seen two hun- dred miles by reflection; but as rule light ming gives but little time for Iefiection.- New Orleans Picayune.
 Smith-''Aren't you going to take vaca- tion this summer, Browna'' Brown-"pm (hic) taking my vacation now" Smith s'That so?'' Brown-'Yep, my (hic) wife left for the country last week. ."-Epoch.
 Brown-s'That's handsome umbrella you've got there, Robinson" Robinson ''Yes." Brown-'tAbout what does it cost to carry an umbrella like that2" Robinson s'Eternal vigilance. "-New York Sun.
 clam sorry to hear, Wiliie," said the minister, responsibility, "that you spent Sunday fishing"
 "So am l." responded Willie penitently. 'tI didn't catch blame fish. ."-Chicago Tri- bune.
 Brown-'sGad, Jack, what do you want of that sheet of postage stampsa Why, you've got one hundred therei" Joans-"Well, you see, I've just completed 6 poem and may er-send it to more than one paper. Flown Topics.
 Preeocious boy Mamma, was Ananias kill ed for telling just one lief
 Mamma-He was, my son.
 Boy (thoughtfullyl- There has been change in the administration since Ananias' time, hasn't there, mammsl-Chicago Trib- une.
 "Good-by, wifey; if am detained by busi- ness and not able to come home to dinner I'll send yoa telegram" Wife Qrigidly) You needn't take that trouble. Here it is. took it out of your pocket awhile ago. ."-Texas Siftings.
 Lord Wolseley pronounces the bicycle "a military instrument of great promise" The bicycle claims a victim now and then, but it is extremely doubtful if it ever proves as de- structivs of human life as the Krupp gun.- Norristown Herald.
 This is one of the stories of old time now going the rounds: Cony Foster, of Orono, was sick. He ha6 made all arrangements for his death and burial, when he began to gain. One day he remarked to his wife shat as he felt better he thought it likely that he might recover. stCony," said his wife, Gas you are prepared and am resigned, I think you had better go now.n-Lewiston Journal
 young man thoughtlessly drew a revol- yer, cooked it and pointed it at his mother. The old lady with hollow grown fell dead at his feet. "Good land, mother" exclaimed the young man, 'syou make me tired. Get up; this revolver has seven loads in it. The mother sprang lightly to her feet. Heaven bless you, my son." she cried warmly, "1 thought it was empty. How could think 80 meanly of you, who have ever been thought ful and nsideratet"-Burdette.
 "Those scissors with which you are work ing, 2 said the man of the house, "are taxed 45 per cent" ."John English" exclaimed the woman of the house, looking him straight in the eye, sfdon't talk nonsense to me, if I am woman can't talk politics. Taxed 45 per cent, indeedi Why, I only gave 30 cents for them. Don't talk to mel" And indeed he didn't, very long, because she knew per fectly well, she said, the man who sold her those scissors wasn't the man to lose 15 cents on them.-Burdette.
 He may yell, he may howl,
 He may whoop if he will,
 But the stains of the powder
 Will cling to him still. Gt I2arl EIarald