The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1888-02-17

p,a,s, exenss had spelling ami bad cokxld !
tbongLt void tell YOU It Is Fake ing haere TO
daix, ~ $50 "''->0'
youIi truly
dictated
Tho ,l,,va j. Of course. moro or less per
personal. but the question Is ons which con
,erns many other young men who may be
thus afflicted therefore take the liberty OF
answering an inquiry publicly when l
would otherwise regard as strictly cohiIdeh'
tial, snppressing the name, however, ana the
irst par graph both Of which read Ike tho
,oliloquy Of a hell box or the smothered
calculations OF pied form.
To the correspondent, whose letter i above
given, | might say that | believe there WOULD
be an opening here for him II Ia would gave
himself ND to cer,ain class OF Work. VI
course, he could hardly hope to enter the
regular channels OF commercial correspond
cnce with a typewriter that has such pro
nounoed impediment in it. speech a. this one
has, but could be not hope 10 get a job at
Volapuk at headquarters
Certainly there ought 10 be Il place some
where for one whose only trouble seems To he
II kind vi information of the Nowels.
There might be future here for such
graphic and graceful style OF writing, II 1t
could be- used in reporting telephone re
marks over crossed wires. The word paint
in. and VULGAR fractions are similar and 1t
might be made 10 arouse a good deal VI m
interest ii properly worked up.
OF course it would be necessary that he
should tone down some OF his eXtraNagant
figures of speech and avoid OvereXertion Of
the punctuator, but with his wealth OF full
stops he might do we'll on a periodical, and
his space work would certainly attract atten-
ton. Or he could 20 into the counting room
of a man who did not advertise and do as
signment work
The typewriter, in strong and willing
hands j, sntier than the sword. look Tor
the TYPEWRITER ~ take the place OF Indian
ora;ory in our literature, and its tinkling
notes will soon b. beard / hope, in homes
whore the one legged pen and the bottle Of
bluing all the writing now are doing.
Come 10 the metropolis sx:t'4&imis.
Come with your abnormal: and your little
tYpESwritER Come with your startling
stvle Of English and your chaste method Of
obliterating space Come and get acquainted
with mr. SAGE and mr. sssSS. gOuLD.N
Here YOU will meet many yumurus people
who will amuse You To high :. Non VIII
also meet Mr. anthony cOmStock, who will
require YOU to drape all your figures in the
following manner -.
Come 10 New York and get new soft
palate put into your typewriter and have an
operaii ion performed on its tonsils.
Come aud visit the produce ssslblblbbbl
bblbbl Exchange Come and see Wall ptd
sssOO0..fs- street. Ride on our Elevated
railway from BBZZZT-"-(OlX ul&&& ,.rd,
street. to GGXXKKrrttNBl !. = &BlickerneX
street Visit the brig Theodore, dam
Tarantula straight tor place, 10. m. Rob
Roy dam Ella Jackson horse racesil
The more YOU mix up with ~ the more
YOU will Ike US We New Workers from
Wyoming territory enjoy having people
thrown among Us. YOI would meet with
a hearty welcome whether YOU came 10 grow
up with our bacteria OF 10 buy green goods
Cordially Is our one week.-mrs.. II cordial
greeting would not suit you you can take
apollinaris water With your natural ten
dency toward delirium tremens. perhaps that
would be best any way.
used To- be acquainted with young man
who wrote "A beautiful hand ext. lNiu.>.
for that was before the days Of typewriter
tie would bring out his writing materials
and hi tongue and make cOrksorew pea
cock swimming in large cranberry marsh
infested by loops and funny business, all
without taking his pen of the paper. He
was "A thorough artist, with a lofty -0ul, but
he could not spell He could construct a
graceful swan with a halo OF chirosraphIcal
worms ali around il, but nature and art
had denied him the humber joys Of orthog
raphy. He could make a lovely purple
scroll with a green fringe 10 II and red
eyed bobolinks, with heliotrope bosoms
perched on space and bearing IN their
bIouzel talOns yet other smaller scrolls that
were as graceful as q doughnut horse, and on
these scrolls would be written such glittering
truths as these: In friendships bright ger
land. Please regard me as your Humbel fur
getmenott," Look up, press Onnerds q you
will git there
But his STYLE is robbed Of much OF its grace
and beauty by immersing it in cold and pulse
less type lie was "a bold and fearless writer
and his hands were ever red with the blood Of
murdered English tie broke down the high
wall, established by the brainy but discon-
nected and iiighty Noah Webster, and spelled
sarh words as ''pillsarlic IN way that kept
his liner writings out Of tue magazines But
when he assassinatei the English he made 10
attempt to conceal his methods. He wrote
under everything Executed with pen
And lac rocked not Not Il recH
Whether you can ever rise to such posi-
ton with Your type writer, Mr. sX:t1I&fms,
do not know. | hope you may Your
orthography is rich With improvisations,
roalados and ulls Running through all
your yor!; notice an air Of gentle badmage,
bon hommc, persiflase and pi. You have
given utterancc in your letter TO thoughts
which could not think without the ali Of
outside influences. could not evolve such
sentiments without the stimulus Of a fall
from high building or the exhilaration Of q
railway collision
1t is the unexpected IN your humor which
gives il its chief charm. No one can tell,
when You start out whether You Will soar
away among the asterisks and space, or get
involved IN scufilc between lover ease and
carital, in which you will get injured, mortl-
iication and exclamation set III and you lose
your life
am glad you wrote To me with your little
fyDa writer and though | believe that YOU