The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1888-05-24
MISCELLANEOUS.


The young fellow who has expecta-
lions finds no difficulty in sailing about
ON his heirship.-Binghanaton Leader.
Speak of man as you find him.
If you find him in Canada. forget that
you knew him in the States.-M U.
Pieayune.
Cork is the latest material proposed
for making railroad cars. The idea is
that in case of collision it would simply
bound off the track.
-Jones-"Fish are spoken of as the
fisherman's harvest. Why is that?"
Smith-"Because the fishermen have to
pillow the waves to get them. "-Bosto's
Courier.
A new lubricant that is coming
into use in Germany is mustard oil. 1t
remains fluid at the low temperature OF
fourteen degrees Fahrenheit. and will
keep unchanged for years.
The champion meanest man is the
husband who placed his pocketbook in
a mouse-trap. so that his wife could not
get at it in the carly morning without
liberating mouse. -Bdltimore Anaeri-
can.
Silver. generally very desirable
metal, is source of great annoyance
to the manufacturer of white lead, for.
if present in an appreciate quantity. it
spoils the color of the finished product,
owing to the well-known blackening
effect of light upon the salts of silver.
Generous man ION terry boat)-
THAT is rich. Funniest thing I've read
in some time (reads it to sour-looking
man next him.) Don't you see any
thing funny in that? Why don't you
laugh?" Sour-looking Man-"H you'd
spent three hours scratching the hair
off your head trying to rake out that
joke. you wouldn't laugh much"
What was the biggest school of
mackerel you ever SAW" asked sum-
mer boarder of old Captain Gloster.
"The biggest school of mackerel ever
SAW" repeated the captain. shifting
his quid and hitching up his trousers.
''Well, ma'am. the biggest school of
mackerel | ever saw was off the Banks,
away back in '61, But, ma am, that
wasn't no school of mackerel. That
was a university"
"A Mournful Ref1ection.-A Texas
man was left $1,000 by the death of an
uncle in New York. He drank deeply,
and went through the property in two
months. While engaged in the COM
pletion of one of the railroads in Texas,
he received notice that he had fallen
heir, this time to $1,000. ALLOW me
to congratulate you," said one of his
fellow-workmen. Congratulate moth
ingr' said the man dismally. lit looks
very much as though there was some
kind of plot on foot to kill me off,
Texas Sittings.
The annual royalty exacted by the
Bell Telephone Company from its bust
ness is $14 per set of instruments. 1t
sells nothing. In New York State. at
least, in addition to these royalties it
also exacts from its licenses further
consideration in the form of donation
of thirty-five per cent. of the capital
stock of its licenses. 1t also exacts a
commission upon all extra territorial
and telegraph business done by the
licenses of fifteen per cent on the
former and fifteen per cent of the
latter.
AN easy-going couple live in Spring.
field. Mass. They are young, have
been married about four and half
years, and have three children. The
husband has left his family three times,
and each time the wife has sold the
goods and returned to her parents,
taking back her spouse every time he
returned. and helping refurnish. Fur
thermore, she left him twice, when he
in turn sold their common possessions.
They are now living together again as
if nothing had occurred out of the
usual way.