davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-11-10
ABE.

Every newspaper man in Chicago
knew Abe Settle. He came from Bos-
ton to Chicago in 1873. Chicago had
never seen q brighter newspaper man.
He had the faculty, it seemed, of put
ting delicate dramatic touch to
everything he wrote. Such ability as
he possessed could not 60 long unrec-
ognized in q city whose press holds
brightness to be the essential feature of
journalism. From time to time he
was promoted until he had reached
the top of one of the largest papers in
the city. he did not stay there long.
One day, in speaking to friend, he
remarked: 81 drank somewhat several
years ago, but one day declared that I
would never take another drink until
1 had reached the head of some great
newspaper. have attained that place
and am now going to take drink"
Two weeks passed before he showed
himself at the Office again. OF course
he had lost his place, but he went to
work in subordinate position, and,
for time kept sober, but at length
fell again. His friends demonstrated
with him. "You are a man almost of
genius" they said, "and in throwing
yourself away you are committing
more than an ordinary crime"
"Let's take something" he smilingly
replied. They took something with
him. Temperance lecturers are not
always total abstainers, and, not un-
frequently, they are able to carry g
great deal.
Settles downward course was not
rapid, but he was so irresponsible that
he could not hold q position. He sup
ported himself by doing special work.
Some of the brightest articles that
ever appeared in . Chicago newspa-
per were written by him. Gradually
he began to lose the faculty of produc-
ing such splendid effects; and, because
he had been 80 bright, editors were 10th
to excuse the slightest lapse into dull
ness; and, indeed, they accepted from
other writers who were never known
to do anything above the average,
sketches which were poorer than the
worse which Settle had ever written.
In newspaper life, the failure to attain
excellence il deplored, but the inabil-
ity to maintain a once established
standard L. a crime
It was not very long until "poor
Abe" as he was now called, failed,
nine times out of ten, to produce &C
ceptable matter. His humor had be-
come coarse and his intended pathos
was ridiculous. The "boys" summed
him. They said he was bore. So he
was. Every man who drinks to ex-
cess il a bore. A drunken Macaulay
would not be half 30 acceptable COM
panion as q sober coal HEAVIER.
One night, several weeks ago, Settle
went into the city department Of q
morning paper. He was not strictly
sober.
3WhAt do You want, Abea"
"Work."
@You can't work"
"Try me-"
4Oh, have tried you fifty times."
~Try me fifty-one times"
"No, am done with experiments.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-11-10
GREAT SINGERS.

G'<NEa&s yNN&A~ %AVb w ha ~ AsS'eS
manager of the Haymarket theatre,
Chicago, took an opera company
through the south. One evening, the
train broke down at u backwoods sta
ton In Tennessee. Some one, calling
Davis, said;
"This walt here Is likely to be very
lonesome. There IL school house a
short distance from here. Suppose
you give performance"
Davis agreed. An hour later the
school. house was crowded. An ad-
mission fee OF twenty five cents had
been charged. "Pinaforc' was the
opera. The performance had not pro-
ceeded far when an old fellow arose
and said:
"SAy, cap'n, hold on thar mint"
The singers obeyed. "say, oap'n
addressing Davis), whar did you
ketch up with that tuner"
at came from England"
"Yas, an II sounds like II mout have
walked all the way over here"
"Why cor"
"Cause It's powerful weak In the
knees. Say, cap'n, would you like 10
hear some tust-rate singin'7"
ayes, l wouldn't mind"
"wall, I've got couple o. gals here
that ken knock the socks cG'a any
thing you've got thar. Liza, you an
Sue go up thar on the fiAtform an
show 'em how ter sing"
"Oh, pap" said n tall, "gAngling"
girl, arising, ~ don't want ter git up
thar an sing"
"Why not, Lixa1"
"Oh, care don't know them folks"
"An' you never will lessen you mix
with 'em. Go on, you and Sue"
Sue arose and, biting her apron,
said ~ ain't afeerd. Come on, Lie"
Liza, after hanging back awhile
longer, came forward. The girls
mounted the platform.
"Now, pap" said Liza, "whut must
we sing7"
"Oh, you know better'n do"
mo, | don't. Whut must We sing,
Sue?"
"Dinged Of l know"
"sIng suthin'," the old man de-
manded.
"Must I sing. Dog 10 the shuck
pile7'"
ayes, the very thing"
Then the girls began 10 sing, and,
for more than m hour, amused the
opera company. After they had con.
cluded, the old man approached Davis
and said
allow do you like 'em7"
"First-rate."
"Bcst you ever hsefn, | reckon"
"Oh, yes" :;.vis replied with par
donable prevarication.
"Don't expect ter hear no better no.
whar. do your"
"No.o
avail, you may take 'em along with
You. Give me ten dollars to close the
contract"
"Oh, ! don't want them; have no
room for them"
"Make room, ding It. Turn SONS o.
them other women alooss."
~ can't do that"
~ think y0u ken. Look here, you
have held ont Inducements now, an Of
you don't come TO time WY suthin' IL
goin' ter pop am pop loud, too. You
sid they was the best singers you
ever heard, an good singers 10 what
You want. Ten dollars, please, ter
close the contract
Davis did not know what 70 do.
The old fellow looked wicked. The
train whistled.
ASsy, old man, I haven't time TO |
draw mp the contract now, but you
como mp to Nashville Dext week"
"Sho nufi?"
"Yes."
ANo EooIln'.D
~None.n
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-11-10

Louis Robert Stevenson ssys that
all pleasures are truths. This 10 Q
mistake. TO tell lie 4 sometimes .
pleasure, but lie 10 never the truth.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-11-10
NO SATISFACTION.

almost fighting his way, entered the
Office of Mayor Roche.
ais you de mayor, sah3"
eyes, what do you wantf"
"Whut does l want? Huh, dat's
whut come yere ter tell you. AK er
pusson whut he want to- he gifts In
side de do. You didn't think l wuz
comm all de way yere ter see you an
den go way widout tellin' you whut l
wants wild you7 White folks gittin'
mighty s'picious o. or mans bizness
deze days"
"Come, old man, come. State your
business"
"W'y, sab, OATS 'zackly whut come
yere fur. Think I'd run de risk o.
havin' my head knocked Off gittin' in
yere, an den 60 way widout tellin'
my bizness? You want raised In de
country whAr I wuz, ar you'd know
better'n dat. wy, er ten-year-ole
boy In de neighborhood whar / wuz
raised IL smarter den you Is on dis
yere ercasion."
"Put this man out" said the mayor,
calling some one.
"Hole on, jes' err mint; hole on,
sab. Man KANT state his bizness till
he do, an he KANT state 1t den lessen
he got time. come yere ter see you,
sab, on some mighty 'portant bizness.
DWELL, state it briefly"
"Dat's whut rs gwine ter do, sab,
Gaze when / gifts down ter de pint
ken jes' rattle off er argument jes' ca
quick ez any man you eber seed"
ayes, but l don't want any argu-
ment."
"Cose you doan, Gaze you amt set
up yere ter argy like er jestice O. dc
peace. Vas, sab, rs gittin' dar now
-yas, sab, vas. l wants er pension,
ssh."
"You want what2"
"Said dat / wanted q pension, sah.n
awe got nothing to do with pen
sions."
"You got suthin' ter do wild dis
yere one, I tell you"
"Why cor"
"I'll tell you. Tsuther day / wuz
comm long de street down yander
whar da buildin' one deze fo'teen story
houses, an err brick fell frum way
often de top an hit me on de head an
pecked er hole, ] tell you. See dis
hole2 Yere It Is, right yere."
"Pve got nothing to do with that,
old man."
"Who ain't?"
~ haven't, tell you"
"W'y doan I git err pension fur dis
yere great 'struction7"
"Of course not"
WANT / waikiki long de street,"
"You say co."
"Wa'n't de buildin' dar?"
"Yes.o
"Didn' de brick fall of an hit me?''
"You say 1t did"
"Ah, hah, an you's willin' tsr
knowledge all dat, 10 your.
"Yes."
"Now, femme az you some mo-
p'ints. Amt de street an de buildin'
In dis town."
"Of course"
"An' want it in dis town dat de
brick fell OF an hit me?"
"Yes."
sAin't you de mayor o. dis town."
al ann
"Wali, den, doan you ten ter de
erfairs o. de town."
"Most assuredly."
wall, den, ez / wuz hurt by de
city, / wants you ter gin me or pen
sion, an tell you now dat i apt
gwine ter be satisfied wild less'n err
dollar cher munt- Yere me7"
4Gc ON, old man, you are crazy"
~ amt 10 crazy, sab, - you thinks.
I got or good deal o. sense hid erround
yere. know rs got de law on you
an Ps gwine ter force IT, but I tell
you whut I'll do: Ef you'll jes gin
me fifty cents er munt fur ten munts
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-11-10

The reason Mohammed REFUSED to
80 to the mountains was because the
hotel rates were 20 high.--L(fs.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-11-10

A circus tumbler should never be
FULL Boston Gazette.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1888-08-15
Simply an 4nti-Republican Movement.

The prohibition candidates for the presi-
dency and vice presidency in their letters OF
acceptance devote the greater part of their
attention to abuse of the republican party
and the republican platform.
If they are not playing into the hands of
the democracy they should take down their
signs. Gen. Fisk, we are sorry to say, is car
ried away either by unreasonable prejudice
or insane fanaticism. Naturally good man,
with military record that he can afford to
be proud of, he has become imbued with the
idea that the republican party is the deadly
enemy of the temperance cause, when, in fact,
it has been it's mainstay and total dependence
for years.
The other party, Brooks, confesses that he
he has been rebel at heart; that he was a
traitor to his country; that while pretending
to be in sympathy with the union cause
his wishes and his hopes were with the south,
but thanks God that he has never been a re-
publican.
This is pleasant statement coming from a
candidate for the vice presidency ofthe United
States. Howdo the loyal and patriotic pro-
hlbitionists ofIowa and Kansas like it? How
do the Temperance people of the north in
general like it?-Chicago Mail
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1888-08-15
A Ruined City in Texas.

The surveys at present being made
for the Kansas City, FL Paso & Mex
lean railroad, at a point north lati-
tude 33 degrees and west longitude
LOG degrees, have passed along the
lava flow which by the local popula-
ton is called the Molpais. It CON
sists of a sea of molten black glass,
agitated at the moment of cooling in
ragged waves of fantastic shapes.
These lava waves, or ridges, are from
ten to twelve feet high, with combing,
crests. This lava flow is about forty
miles long from northeast to south
west and from one to ten miles wide.
For miles on all sides the country is
the most desolate that can be imag-
ined. 1t has been literally burned
up. 1t consists of fine white ashes to
any depth, which, so far, has been
dug down. To the north of the lava
flow, and lying in a country equally
desolate and arid, the surveyors have
come upon the ruins of Gran Guive-
IA, known already to the early Span
ish explorers, but which have been
visited by white men less often even
than the mysterious ruins of Palen-
que in Central America. Only few
people at Socorro and White Oaks
have been at Gran Guivera, because
it is at present forty miles from watt
er. The surveyors found the ruins
to be of gigantic stone buildings
made in the most substantial man
ner and OF grand proportions. One
OF them was four acres in extent. All
indications around the ruins point to
the existence here at one time of dense
population. No legend of any kind
exists as to how the great city was
destroyed or when itwas abandoned.
One of the engineers attached to
the surveying expedition advances
the theory that Gran Guivera was in
existence and abundantly supplied
with water at the time the terrific
volcanic eruption took place. En-
g,ineering and Mining Journal.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1888-08-15
An English Workman ON the Tariff.

This talk is given by workingman of New
York city:
am printer, or rather pressman. I
served seven years to learn my trade in Lon
don. When | became journeyman, my
wages when on piece work averaged not
more than 81, or So per week, and when [
was lucky enough to get work by the week,
my wages were thirtythree shillings, or SIS
per week.
81 was obliged to leave England to come
to this country to look for a living, and I
thank God that came here. 1 arrived here
in 1857 and at once obtained work at SIS
per week, nearly four times as much as [
could make in free trade England.
SIN England could not afford to get a
decent piece of meat for my dinner except on
Sunday. My family was obliged to live most
of the time on bullock heart, like thousands
of other poor workingmen in England -Four
years ago | visited England. found that
the wages were still as low as they were TWEEN
ty years ago, and living much dearer than
here. Meat is twice as dear there as here;
other living in proportion. So you can i'm
aglne how the poor workingmen have to
suffer in free trade country.-New York
Press.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1888-08-15
Love and Locusts.
Atlanta (Ga. Constitution.

Atlanta (Ga.) Constitution.
About forty years ago there was a
young lady in Lincoln county who
had two sWeethearts, and not being
able to decide between the two she
set out two locust bushes in the yard,
naming one for each OF her lovers,
and believing in the old adge: eff he
loves me the bush will grow and
according to her faith, so ithappen-
ed unto her" One of the bushes very
soon Withered, but the other flourish
ed and, in the course oftime, she mar
rled the gentleman for whom the
growing bush was named. They
raised a large family, who are well
known throughout several counties
and the locust bush also grew and
multiplied Time has laid bare the
spot upon which the old dwelling
stood, and nothing remains to mark
the site of this once happy home but
the locust bushes, of which there is a
complete hedge about one hundred
yards in length. This may mean to
some a fairy tale, but it is absolutely
true. The lady is a Methodist minis
ter's daughter and the gentlman a
Baptist minister's brother.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1888-08-15
Diamond Shot.

Not only has the yield of the Afri-
can mines been great, but the dia-
monds have averaged much larger
than those from any Of the old mines.
The finding of a 17-carat stone in
the Brazilian diggings was sufficient
to secure the freedom of the fortunate
slave who found it, but stones of this
size are found by the hundred here.
A LOO carat stone scarcely creates as
much excitement as a stone one-fifth
the size did in Brazil. One-ffth to
one-quarter of all the yield, it is esti-
mated, never reached the proper own
ers, as the native diggers swallow
and conceal the diamonds in every
possible manner. Hence it became
necessary for the companies in self
defence to take extraordinary pre-
caution against this great loss, and
overseers or special searchers were
appointed, who made the most
thorough examination of all who
left the mines. The natives use most
ingenious methods for. the conceal
ment OF the gems. On one occasion.
some officers, suspecting that a Kafir.
had stolen diamonds, gave chase and
caught up with him just after he had
shot one of his oxen. No diamonds
We're found upon the Kafir, it is need
less to say, for he had charged his
gun with them, and after the disap-
pearance Of the officers, dug them
out of his dead OK. Diamonds have
been fed to chickens, and a post NOR
TEN recently held over the body OF a
kafir revealed the fact that death
had been caused by a 6O-carat dia-
mond which he had Swallowed
North American Review.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1888-08-15
The Record.

The president may write messages about
civil service reform until he is tired, but he
cannot explain away the fact that, from the
days of Jackson until now, there has never
been SO clean a sweep in removing men from
office. The report OF First Assistant Post
master General Stevenson, covering the first
three years of Cleveland's administration,
shows that there have been 5S,29S changes
of postmasters. AS there are only some &c.
1000 postof1ces, the figures show that some
OF the ignoramuses appointed had to be
changed. There is not q collector of Gus
toms, or of internal revenue, or foreign
minister left, who is not Cleveland demo-
ecrat. Civil service democrats are accustomed
ito point with pride to "a republican post
master in New York city," but even that
single case hardly Counts when it is remem-
bered that same Postmaster helped to elect
cleveland four years ago.-Chicago Inter
Ocean.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1888-08-15
Why2 and Wherefore.

II Tree trade is a good thing for tie, wool
industry, why did the. Montana Wool
Growers Association condemn the Demo-
cratic wool policy?
Why did the Democratic House last week
refuse to retain the tariff on lead?
Why did Cleveland recommend the dfscon-
t1nuance OF silver coinage and why has silver
dropped I5 cents per ounce since he did so9
Why has he persistedin appointing carpet
baggers to Territorial offices in plain VIOLA
ton Of his personal ann. party pledges?
Why was the subject of Territorial admins
sion ignored in the Democratic PLATFORM
Why did Cleveland retain Sparks in office
three years in opposition to the wishes and
and interest of every man west of the. Mis-
sissippi river?
Why did he attempt to return the rebel
battle flags captured in the. war for the
preservation of the. Union?
Why did he. appoint rebel brigadiefs and
secession sympathizers and copperheads to
most OF the foreign and home offices within
his gift?
Why does he favor a fisheries treaty which
is altogether in the interest of the Canadian
fishermen?
Why did he express horror at the eligibility
OF president to a second term and lay wires
and pull them for a denomination?
Why did he promise civil service reform
and then eontemptuously refuse to fulfill the
promise and appoint 10000 incompetent t
and inexperienced men to Officer
Why did he refuse to sign the bill prohibit
ing the employment of convict labor on pub
lie works at the same time claim to be a
friend of honest labor2
Why does he advocate free trade in the in
terest of Great Britain when he knows that
its adoption would pauperize the American
people and degrade the American working
man to the level of a machine?
If he opposes Chinese immigration why does
he not also oppose the free Importation of
the products of Chinese cheap labor? Butte
Inter-Mountain.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1888-08-15
The Third Party.

The prohibition party goes into the strug-
gle openly avowing its purpose to destroy
the republican party. 1t has no hope of
carrying single state, but is working with
all its might to draw votes from Harrison in
some of the doubtful states in order to re-
peat the achievement of 1S94the defeat of
the republican candidate. Now, when it is
conceded that whatever of temperance legis-
lation has been secured, has been through
the aid of the republican party. while the
democrats stand everywhere solid with the
saloon, this spirit of the prohibitionists is,
slightly exasperating Republican.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1888-08-15
Talking One WAY and Acting Another.

When Grover Cleveland spoke against a
second term, referring to the fact that ga
horde of officeholders, with zeal born O
benefits received and fostered by the hope
OF favors yet to come, stand ready
to aid with money and trained political SER
vice, = he was probably even then outlining
his plans for a reelection. No man but an
accomplished hypocrite could utter such
words and then Immediately proceed to con-
tradict them by his conduct. The man who
thus openly talks one way and acts the other
must believe that the people are fools orthat
they le7ye knavery and Implicitly. Cleveland
Leader
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1888-08-15
They Seem to Appreciate Cleveland.

The South American wool growers have
made collection of Argentine woods and de-
livered the same to Hon. Bayless Hanna,
our minister to the Argentine Republic for
transmission to President Cleveland, s'who
will see in the gift, says the Buenos Ayres
standard, accompaniment to his policy of tar
iff reform and a gentle reminder to persevere
in it. . AS it is a part of this policy of tariff
reform to destroy wool growing in the United
States and surrender the American market
to foreign control, the American wool grow
'ers can well afford to indorse it.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1888-08-15

wasbad enough, butt asdeal' Has. Just Beencon
surnmated by the Wardepartment even more
humiiating to those whobeIie1e in the people
and the institutionssof this country Congress
made large appropriate ion todredg eNewY fork
harbor, and the contract has been awarded
to an English syndicate which, owns and op.
crates a large dredge now In the New York
docks, called the sState-of Alabama The
principle on which the dredge operates is to
sink the sand and mud from the bottom
through pipe, and transfer it to. a vessel
which carries it to the sea. and dumps it.
Both the dredge and the dumping vessel
thus to be employed are owned by English
men who live in England, and they fly at
their mast-heads the British flag.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1888-08-15
The Only Hone.

tits well enough to express sympathy with
home rule in Ireland, but, as Gen. Harrison
suggests, is it not still more important that
we demand home rule in Dakota, where tens
of thousands of American citizens are prac-
tically DISTINGUISHED and denied just share
in the management of political affairs solely
because large majority Of them are republi-
cans? This outrage has been prolonged for
years, and the only hope of putting an end
to it lies in the defeat of Cleveland and the
election of a republican president and con-
gress.-St. Louis Globe DEM
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1888-08-15
VIII Make Him President.

1t was you, Fighting Joe Hooker, who said
at Resaca, Ben. Harrison, will make you
brigadier general for this days work" If
Joe Hooker comes close to Heavens border,
looks down upon the Yankee Nation and
primes his ears he will hear America say,
next November: ben. Harrison, for your
brs very, manliness, craftsmanship and good
citizenship, we have made you President
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1888-08-15
A Shameful Act.

Sometime ago our democratic English ed.
mlnlstration contracted with a British manu-
facturer for consignment of army blankets,
the excuse being that few dollars was saved
over 70 price for which the lot could have
been PNchased in the United states. This
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1888-08-15
Wins.-Yoa Bet,

-Four years ago the Republicans faced a
majority of 1913, 900 given to Cleveland two
years before. To-day they are facing a ma
itour years ago, in New York WinI You bet..
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1888-08-15
John Bull to North American.
For Free Trade Then Too.

!, The time has come for the people of the
United States to declare themselves in favor
OF progressive Free Trade throughout the
%oria.-A Flank in Democratic Platform of
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1888-05-02
Il MarveiOa1s Case.

Mr.. Jacob Haubrich, who was Sc
riouslv injured last week at the Empire
Mill by being run over by his excited
team, the wheels of the heavy laden
wagon passing over his back just below
the floating ribs, is entirely out of dan
ger, and in relating his case to a report
er yesterday, expressed his intention to
abandon the sick-bed and tend to his
business. The whole affair is remark
able, as Mr.. Haubrich's injuries were
from the start proclaimed fatal, which
could not well be otherwise expected,
when the facts of his misfortune are
taken in consideration. As it Is, we
heartily congratulate Mr.. Haubrich on
his narrow escape from death, and hope
that he may never again be placed in
like perilous condition.