The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-08-21
BRIGHT BITS.


ORAroR-And what, my friends, is the basis
of this vile rum traffic;
McGinnis the bartender-CaSh on the bar
Bitrdette.
THINGS even up pretty well after all Men
throw banana skins on the sidewalk, ana then
the banana skins throw men on the sidewalk -
LolCeH Mail.
UNCONSCIOUS HuMoR.-Fair Penitent Stand
ingp-Father O'Brien, wish to confess my sins
to you.
Father 0 Brien-sit down, my daughter
Time.
CRoAKER-How is 1t that Dawdle deadheads
the theaterS all the timey
Joker The theaters omit help themselves;
congress has placed raw materials on the free
list.-LOWeH Citizen.
HE-It is charming on the water to-day; let
us take Il sail. What sort of a craft would you
prefer?
She think smack would be just too lovely
for anything. Detroit Free Press.
CITIZEN Ito undertaker)- II thought, Mr., Mould,
that you were going off on q vacation?
Undertaken did intend to start over month
ago. nut old Mrs. Bently was taken dangerously
low injured tone of voice. Iii be blamed, sir, If
she amt getting better.-Epoch.
GRACIOUS! How well it is preserved" said
one traveliug man to another, as they gazed at
mummy in museum II 10 ks as IL IL
might wake up and speak if you could only
arouse it with some familiar words"
so it does Suppose you try it with that
story you just told me. Merchant TrGUeer,
TIE police officers at Niagara Falls have
been instructed to arrest all persons who may
hereafter visit there for the purpose of per
forming daring feats. This doesn't include the
young man who takes his bride to the falls,
with only $50 in his pocket and expects to have
enough left to pay his fare home.-NOrTiStow
Herald.
TIRED AND WoRv-NIother Ito daughter at an
lag.y faVl
Cicely, dear. Lcantioned you against dancing
too much.
Daughter-I haven't danced for an hour,
mammal Mr.. De Lysle has been entertaining me.
CTo entertainer) Mr. De Lysle, this is my mother.
Proxies Magazine.
YOUNG HousEKGErER Ito butcher Have you
nice beef?
rutcher-Yes, ma'am; killed only this morn
ing; it's hardly dead yet. What part would you
like?
Young Housekeeper-M husband said this
morning that he was fond of smoked beef.
You may send a cut of that.-DrdEe'S Maya
zine.
Now. GEORGE" said his rich uncle. you
know that you are my heir, and if you will only
behave yourself at college, do what is right,
study hard, and graduate with honor, feel that
| shall die happy
"Drsr Uncle" responded George. with emo
ton, words cannot express my gratitude to
you nor the earnestness with which | Snail go
to work. '-NeW York Sun.
81 DON'T SEE how can go said Mrs. McStyle;
really have nothing TO wear"
Nothing to wearm exclaimed Mr.. McStyle;
where is your cream satin?'
"Why, john, how ridiculous you arel You
know that that is worn threadbare!"
Il don t see how that con be- You have not
worn il above three time V"
Very rue: but. thea think of the times |
had to try it on while it was making. boston
Transcript.
VILLAGE PARsoN (entering country editors
ofIice)-You promised to publish that sermon
sent you on Monday, but do not find it in the
latest issue of your paper.
Editor sent it up. 1t surely went in. What
was the name Of it?
Parson-Fecd My Lambs.
Ed tor (after searching through paper)-Ah-
yes--um-Here it is. You see we've got new
foreman and he puts 1t under the head of "Ag-
rcultural Notes boston Beacon.