Morning journal and courier., 1888-09-13
CHARMING.

Mrs. Spandell-"What a charming little
doggy Is he masticatorislIy inclineda" Her
Fish Man-tNot as knows of, marm; but l
wouldn't go near him. He bites wunst In
while. Judge.
Dumley (who has given Featherly drink
from his private bottle)-Do you believe in
free whisky, Featherlya
Featherly Casting the whisky ky)-Well-er,
yes, DumIey; think such whisky as this
ought to be free.-New York Sun.
Visitors at office of New York daily
ssWhat pig pen of an Office for the editor
and proprietor of such great dailys Why
doesn't he take that elegant room down
stairs? ub-editer-"Sh-h-hl That's the
base ball editors room. THE Cartoon.
A New York politician is SO fond of being
'sdeadheaded" everywhere that when some Of
his friends were debating how to get him to
attend chnrch one of them said "Charge an
admission fee and he'll be after pass before
breakfast. Shoe and Leather Reporter.
Humming birds are said to be unusually
abundant in New Jersey orchards, but it is
believed that some fellow was deceived by
seeing a swarm of New Jersey mosquitoes
lowering over the trees. At little distance
New Jersey mosquito looks no larges than
humming bird.-Norristown Herald.
She-"Why, what's the matter, Mr.. Per-
kinss You seem to be wearing rather dis
gustsd look this morning." He with sigh)
-'Yas. I didn't compwehend what ma
meanthe, but she says ath Febwerawy is
paust and haven't 'ad pwoposal shall
ave to go into thome orrid twsde. ."-Har-
per's Bazaar.
Papa (severely) -"Did you ask mamma if
you could have that applet" Three year-old
Eyes, SIR" Papa-"Be careful, now. I'll
ask mamma, and if she says You didn't ask
her I'll whip you for telling story. Did you
ask mammal" e-yearaold-"Truly, papa,
asked her. A pause. She said couldn't
have t."-PhiIadelphia Cali.
In tho window of Main street drug store
is displayed conspicuous sign Vaccine" A
Young lady from Canada walked into the
store yesterday afternoon to get some soda
water. "Whst syrup, pleases" asked the
slender clerk Vaccine" promptly replied
the fair creature. She took il for the latest
thing In soda, only she didn't get it. The
clerk fainted.-Buffalo Courier.
A morning paper gravely informs as that
there is an etiquette of the sofa and that it is
not proper for gentleman to sit on sofa
while q lady occupies a chair. Well, we
should smile, it isn't What sort of an 1S-k
chump would he be to sit alone upon sofa
while the girl holds down the chairi Any
one who ever moved in pommes des terres
| society knows better than that.-Chicago
Mail.
Managing Editor (speaking of the opposi-
tion party)-"Mr. Mucilage, give us . good,
| strong article on the Whoopsyite ratification
meeting last night. 1t was, as you are aware
a dreary fzzle; hardly anybody there, and
the speakers were hissed and hooted at"
Mr.. Mucilage-''I beg your pardon, Mr..
Cuff, but the meeting was q rouser. The
hall was full to overflowtng, and the speeches
were applauded to ths very echo. I know,
because I was there myself"
"You were there, spprehend, in your
personal capacity, Mr.. Mucilage; profession
ally you know as we'll as that the thing was
a miserable failure. / think can trust that
your personal bias will not interfere with
your professional duties. Half column will
do, Mr.. Mucilage, but let it be good and
| strong ',--BoEtOn Transcript.