davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Homer guardian. (Homer, La.) 1888-1890, 1888-12-14

It is the father OF a precocious
two and a lfyears old child who
tells that the child was once watch
ing q lady make her toilet. The
old lady had removed her False
HAIR and false teeth when the as
tonished small hoy said: 'Bct
yer cant take yer neck off,
| San Francisco Chronicle.
Green Tomato Preserves: Slice
or chop the fruit, and simmer for
a long time with ginger root or
lemon to flavor. Add seven lbs.
Of sugar to nine of fruit, and cook
for at least an hour longer. Great
care must be taken to avoid burn
ing,
In preparing for the winter
comfort of the chicken family it
will be we'll for the farmers and
others to bear in mind that eggs
Will be worth high price during
the holidays, and that the fall pull
let's will lay them if they are hous-
cd warmly and fed well.
tor
g,HEZZ,J
8
| The GUARDlAN for 500 :, yeac
Homer guardian. (Homer, La.) 1888-1890, 1888-12-14

Bobby-AIa, is the church raj s.
ing fund to send orr minister to
Europe?
Mothcr-Ycs, dear.
Bobby-And will the church be
closed while he is gone?
Mother-Yes.
Bobby-Well, ma, cant | give
that dollar I've saced up to the
fund-Hayper's Ba9ar.
Stranger: "Well, boys, and
how did the game 60 to-day"
Bows: 1--WE lost!'
Stranger: What have YOU cot
in tia. bundIe?1g
Boys: '.Tl.c umpire. Life.
Homer guardian. (Homer, La.) 1888-1890, 1888-12-14

The {,l)oviur ,ntcrcs,;nr ,nl
;ourhinr incident which ! hal
! Eparl If WIS , few weeks or, M.
,hnn;iratcd - mo nv Col IT Ev1
D.uy!as, the present Democrat
: i, noo,;nnn f,r roncrcss !, ,hc
| Sixth dis,rie, Of MARYLAND |
send it feeling that it will interest
MANY OF The admirers and follow
crs Of the GREAT solI;ers WHO read
y0nr excellent n9rpr.
Three or four wears ago at the
Agricultural Far at IIagcrston,
Nd. of which Col. No0olas WIS
president, tie oh sorrcl was
brought on rs one Of thc a;trac-
tons. lie vas krpt in a Stall
where such visitors rs chose could
see him. Dnrjnr one Of the Of
hours i was s.nrrrs.cl that he be
led around the track. Col. Doug
las accoydjnpiy directed his little
reohcw. oorI about twa}vc who.
Homer guardian. (Homer, La.) 1888-1890, 1888-12-14
Squire HCbbins' Precepts.

We never thoroughly know q
man until we hear him laugh.
Despair is the gateway TO in
sanity.
Argument will pull o wise man
down to the level Of 4 fool, but it
never raises a fool up to the plane
Of 4 wise man.
Fame, like lightning, generally
strikes the man who is not expect
ing it.
Originality is the faculty Of adj
apting an old idea to q new occa
sion.
When q man ventures an opin.
ion he will find some one W no op,
poses it. Hence, a man withou:
opposition is a man without opln'
ions.
Homer guardian. (Homer, La.) 1888-1890, 1888-12-14

The Five Ais was at enc
time . very common tavern sign
in England. 1t consisted Of FIVE
human figures. each accompanied
by q motto. The first was q king,
IN full regalia, with the legend,
Il govern ALL the second bisir-
op in pontia2les, with the. motto,
81 pray for ALL the third, law
yer in his gown, with the motto.
Il plead for ALL the fourth Il sol
der in regimcntals, with the mot
to, 81 fight for ALL and the fifth
q poor countryman with 4 scythe
and rake, having for motto, Il pay
for all.'
Homer guardian. (Homer, La.) 1888-1890, 1888-12-14

"Smith is a mighty mean man
l say exclaimed Bjankins warm
ly. "Why what has Smith ever
done to you?" asked Blenkinson in
surprise. Bet me $40 l couldn't
lit barn door with q revolver at
five PAGES" SAID Bjankins angrily.
''Tannted me INTO taking him up;
got me to put up the money; meas
ured off the FIVE PAGES in presence
Of a lot of witnesses; gave me q
revolver loaded, and then set the
barn door up cdgcwise. Boston
Beacon.
Homer guardian. (Homer, La.) 1888-1890, 1888-12-14

1t is related that on one occasion
Sir Nicolas Bacon was about to
pass judgement upo> man who
had been guilty Of robbery, at tha5
time punishable by death; but the
culprit pleaded for mercy on the
ground that he was related to the
judge. GLOW is that?' was asked.
My Lord,' he replied, "your
name is Bacon, and mine is Hog,
and hog AMI bacon have always
been considered akin "That's
rue" answered St. Nicholas, "but
as hog is not bacon until hung,
until you ale hang d you are 10
relation of niue
Homer guardian. (Homer, La.) 1888-1890, 1888-12-14
WOman's Ambition.

She was driving about theparks
and her husband was taking his
ease, when she sweetly observed:
II like to drive you around"
But she started a little and gave
an ominous glance when he cooliy
responded:
Eyes, / know you DO Caica.
go Tribune.
Homer guardian. (Homer, La.) 1888-1890, 1888-12-14

The man who loves his country;
bis state or his town will do ali
he can to support his press. II he
fayors education, refnment, pro
gross, and the power that comes
from knowledge he will stand by
his newspapers. They are his
yoice-they are his mirrors--they
show to the world. to spectators, tc
would be Immigrants, to enter
prisiag men everywhere precisely
what he is, how he lives, and what
the wants. Catherine Cole.
Homer guardian. (Homer, La.) 1888-1890, 1888-12-14
The Disappointed.

,rho~o ara so,,,~. o,,,ro1 r,r H.. h..r,
,,,ho ,..,1,. >, a., no.,14..ri.,...
| sing for tAe disappointed,
For these Who missed the aim.
,;.,o ,,;1 4,,uc,, e,a,,o,
rn. AN, ,,ho ..,,,.. :, n, l.,.,-
And knows that his last, best arrow
Has bounded back from the mark.
1.;,r f,r ,,o ,,ro,t,.,.ss PERUVIAN
IN, AMMAN .;,,.,o,,,
Who fails wi;h his strength exhausted
Almost il sight Of the goal.
ou,,o ,o,n.. .n,. ,,,.,, ,;,o..oo
WA, ..',.,,..,,.
,
Homer guardian. (Homer, La.) 1888-1890, 1888-12-14
The First Thanksgiving.

II is only about 25JG years AGO
that ThansgiyiHg day was obser.
we'd in this county. Old Massa
soft and his ninety braves sat down
to dinner with the Puritans. The
Indians brought deer from the
woods and the pale faces supplied
fish, clans and corn. Ten years
later when the last batch Of bread
in the colony was in Gov. Brad
fovi's oven and starvation Was
staring our New England ances
tors in the face, good ship from
Ireland appeared with provisions,
and the day appointed for fasting
was changed into q day Of thanks
yiyiag.-Er.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1888-03-02
The Chair Suited at Last.

4 furniture dealer tells a little story
that shows how some people are consti-
tuted. a lady ordered an elegant easy
chair of peculiar kind. 1t was made
and sent to her home. She examiLe ed
it carefully and critically, finally re-
marking that il suited her exactly with
one exception-lt was too soft She
had the man take the chair back to be
made trifle harder. The chair was re-
turned to the store and put aside
Nothing was done to it. After the
lapse of about week the chair was sent
out again. The woman again exsmin
ed it and this time the chair was too
hard. She was sorry, but when she
paid so much to get an article for her
own comfort she wanted it about right,
so she sent it back to the store for an
other change. The chair was again
put aside for a week or ten DAYS, and
sent out for the third time without
having particle of change made. This
time it was just right. She took the
chair and paid for it, and was very
sorry it had not suited her at first. The
poor woman never knew that the chain
had not been changed particle.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1888-03-02
A Most Primitive People.

Th e natives of New Britain are the
most primitive people have ever seen.
Their huts are small and filthy, and
little wonder is it that there is much
sickness among them. At night they
build fire in the center of the hut and
huddle around it for warmth, with DO
covering over them and nothing under
them save course mat. The women
are, with a few exceptions, the ugliesl
specimens of tie human race imagina-
bic, and sight of them will go far. tC
convert one to the Darwinian theory.
These creatures seldom wash themselves
and, as they are employed from one
years end to the other in hard labor,
their appearance Is anything but entic-
ing. The men pass their days in fishing
or idling away their time smoking OF
chewing betel Tut.
Both men and women are keen trad
ers, and ever eager TO acquire divaTa, OF
native money, consisting of very small
shells strung upon thread. and which
is counted by the fathom. Every Of
fense of every nature can be atoned fol-
by the payment of this currency, which
is boarded mp In houses especially built
for the purpose. These houses are un-
der the Taboo" and are so sacred that
they are even secure from robbers, the
penalty for violation of the Taboo
being instant death.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1888-03-02
How TO Choose Beef.

If possible, buy tue meat of a butch.
er personally known TO be an honest
man. If the meat has a reasonable
proportion of fat upon the back and
running in little lines through the lean,
and if the color is fresh aud not very
dark red, the meat is good if the
butcher has kept it properly for a week
or ten days it may be supposed to
be reasonably tender. Most butchers
are willing to keep the right length OF
time for customers, If they take it at its
first weight it loses little weight by
keping. When this is the Intention,
have some of the bone trimmed off,
and the ia: which is not needed for
cooking, and let these trimmings be
sent home with the days marketing,
the bones for the soup pot and { hp fat
TO be fried out TO use in the form OF
drippings. After the meat is trimmt d
let it be hung in the butchers refrIger-
ator until he pronounces it tender. but
not long enough to spoil.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1888-03-02
Dairying on Small Farms.

Dairying and pasturing have been so
long considered as one and the same oc-
cupation that but few farmers will ven
ture to engage in the former without
first devotiug a large portion of the
farm to grass upon which the cow may
be allowed to Craze during the day.
When this method is changed for that
of feeding at the barn yard it is termed
"soilIng" the cows. Even those who
do not believe soiling can be done prof
itablv involuntarily practice the soiliDg
method TO certain extent during the
winter season, for at that time the snow
covers the pasture ground and compels
the dairyman to prepare the food for
the COVE ana give his attention in the
barn yard. The principal objection to
soiling is that it requires a large outlay
for extra labor, yet there is az much
profit derived from the winter dairyIng
as there is during the summer. The real
benefit is in the saving of manure,
which is the most important occupation
on the farm, and the expense of provid-
ing long fences is done away with.
Practical experiments show that by the
aid of manure saved When soiiing a suf-
ficiency of green food can be grown on
a small plat to feed quite a number of
cows, as well as TO provide a better va
rIety of food and secure greater yields
OF milk and butter. Professor Stewart.
tiops how he fed four horses and seyen
COWS for fifteen days on the food grown
upon forty rods of ground and he has
estimated that forty rods OF ground
will produce enough to equal the sum-
mer feeding of one COW, but sets aside
halt an acre in clover as the allowance
70. COW during the summer. This re-
suit is not the experiment of a single
season, but the work of fourteen years
devoted to soiling, by which method
the cows give 20 per cent. more milk
than when kept on pasture and rye,
clover, orcherd grass, timothy, green
oats and fodder corn, with ground food
when required, compose the daily diet.
The system is one that permits of the
gradual accumulation of wealth in the
annual increased fertility of the soil,
and though extra lobor may 0e neces-
sarY, yet it is more effectual IN opera
tioD, as it is net distributed over a
large space, consequently there is econ
omizing in hauling loads 10 great dis
tances over the fields. Soiling may not
be profitable to those who have plenty
of pasture and large tracts of land, but
it will enable those having limited ares
TO engage in dairying, when. by the
proper application of labor, they may
realize larger profits than those who de-
vote more land TO dairying but adhere
to the pasturage system.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1888-03-02
Nail These TO the Barn Dsor.

If the iron wedge will not draw, bu.
fire of chips and beat it.
Heap up and tramp down solidly the
snow around the young fruit trees.
Water, green food and meat. fowl,
must have to prosper during the winter
Watch the outlets of the tile drains.
that they do not become closed with ice
There is one part of the farm that is
not benefited by drainage the manure
heap.
Politeness pays in the COW stable. 4
gentle man gets more milk than a harsh
man.
Straw and corn fodder are best worked
into manure by putting them th1ough
good animals.
The best preventive of trouble a.
lambing time is daily exercise for The
ewes during winter.
Take the brides with you when yOu
go to breakfast, and put them near the
stove while you eat.
Separate the weaker animals tho
need extra feed, whereas with tie
stronger they get scant feed.
Proft in farming comes from the max
imum crops, the products of winter
thought and summer work.
If the cham pump is clogged up with
ice do not give the crank a jerk. Both
wheel and chain break more easily whel
very cold.
Every farmer may be the architect o.
his own fortunes, and it poor policy g.
let the job out to luck.
Harness hung in The stable is damage
as much by the gases and dsmpness there
as it is worn by use.
When green wood is used for fuel par.
OF the heat is absorbed TO convert tl5
water in the fuel into vapor.
If you do not wish cIoddy and lifeles=
ground in the spring keep the cattle Of
the field when the soil is soft.
Drive your horses a little to one Sic
when you stop with load on the sleC.
This makes it easier to start the load.
A fire burns better in hot than in o
cold furnace; it Is equally true that a.
animal well wintered is half summerec
If open, outdoor feed troughs are turn
ed over at night they will not be flied
| with snow and ice in the morning,
Il you place the ak near the stove fOr
! fifteen minutes it will cut better and
not be so ap. to break along the edge.
The flavor OF the fuel used for smOk-
ing meat is somewhat impaired TO the
meat hence the fuel should be selected
carefully.
You have no right 10 feed a dog ST
long as you have not the money TO pro
vide your family with good papers ana
/ books.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1888-03-02
Chemists Idea of Wine.

We have heard a great deal of the supe-
rior excellence of Speer's Y. J. Wine, and
of its being adopted In European ospItals
in preference to their own wines. The most
scinetlfic men of this country and liquor
assayers appointed by State government
pronounce 1t a most valuable article for
sickness. We caunot write more on this
subject now. out publish the following card,
which speaks for itself:
PORTLAND, Feb. 1.
The undersigned, having become practi-
cally acquainted with the Wine produced
by Alfred Speer Of New jersey. would say
that he considers it a superior article, and
far preferable TO the quality of Port wine
generally furnished in this market.
II. Il. CUMMINGS, NJ. D.;
Chemist TO the State Of Maine.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1888-03-02

'sROugh on Bats"
clears out rats, mice reaches flies, ants, bed
bugs
Heart Pains.
PaIpitatIon, dropsIcaI swelIings, uIrsIness. in
digestion, headache, sieeplesSness cured by Wells
Health Renewer.
s.Rough on Corns."
Ask for Wells Rough on Corns." l5c. Quick
complete cure. Hard or soft cOrns warts, bunions.
''Buchu-PaIba-"
Quick, complete cure. all kidney, bladder and
urinary diseases, sealding, irritation stone graV-
el, catarrh of the bladder. 81, druggists
Bcd-Bugs, Flies.
Flies, reaches, ants, bed bugs, rats, mice, goph-
ersi chipmunks, cleared out BY Rough on Rats
wells Health Renewer' restores health and
vigor, cures dyspepsia, Impotence sexual debility
81.
"Rough on Pain
Cures ehole-3, collie; cramps; diarrhoea, aches.
pains; spsains, headache, neuralgiar rheumatism
roc. Rough on Pain Plssters. l5c.
Mothers.
use - eIi's Health Renewer' 81 Drugsists
Life Preserver.
II you are losing your grip on life, try Wells
Health Renewer.' Goes direct 20 weak spots.
Rough on Piles"
Cures piles or hemorrhOids. itching. p-otrud Ing
bleeding internal or other. Internal and external
remedy n each package. Sure cure, Soc Drug
gssts.
Pretty women
Ladies' who would retain freshness AMI vivaeit,
don't fail to try Wells Health Renewer.'
''ROuEh on Itch"
Rough on Itch" cures humors, eruptiens ring
worm letter, salt rheum, frosted feet, chinBlains
Rough ON Catarrh.
Corrects offensive od0rs at once. Complete cure
OF worst chronic, also unequaIed as gargle for
diphtherta, sore throat, foul breath. SOC.
The Hope of the Nation.
ChiIIreh' SLOW ~ teySI9pmeGt puny, seraW ny
Catarrh or the BLADDER.
Singing, irritation, Inflammation. all kidney
and urinary complaints cured by 'Buchu-Paiba.' V
"Water Bugs. Reaches"
Rough on Rats" clears them out, also beetles
ants.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1888-03-02

\ GAMBLER calls his cash assets "E
pluribus unum''-Yon from many.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1888-03-02
1883.
1888.
THE TIMES
philadelphia.
Cheapest, 5 Brightest, 5 Freshest
and 5 Best.
The Most Complete Newspaper Published
in Philadelphia.


The Times IL the most widely read newspa- .
per published in Pennsy ylvania. Its readers arc
among the more intelligent. progressive and
thrifty people of every ialth- II Is eiuphaticaly
an inde pc nd eut new ewspaper-"Iudcpeudent pa in
everything neutral in nothing Its discussion
OF public mcu and public measures Is always tear
less and In the interest Of public integrity. hon
est government and prosperous Industry, and u
knows party OF personal alleg lance In treating
public issues In the hrosdest and best sense
family ard general newspaper.
The News of the worEd-The TINES has
all the facilities Of advanced Journalism Tor
gather INK news from all quarters OF the Globe.
addition 10 that 81 the Associated Press, now
covering the whole world In its scope, making II
the perfection OF a newspaper. with every
thing carefully edited 10 occupy the smallest
space,
The Coming Year viii he one Of universal
public interest in the United States. Party or
gans will perform their duties "a party interests
Ehall demand. but the rapidity growing intelli-
gence and independence OF the axe calls Tor the
Independent ncwspa u-r when great political con-
nlcts are 20 be met. Grave problems D: revenue.
OF finance, OF cOmmcrcc, OF industry, OF science,
are in constant course Of solution by the people
Of the Union. and the progressive Newspaper ts
ever In the lead in even struggle for advance
ment.
The Times IL a 1-cent paper only in price. II
aims TO have the largest circulation hy deserving
Il. and claims that u Is unsurpassed In all the es-
Specimen Copies Of any edition Will be sent
free to anybody sending their address.
sunday Edition-lo pages-handsomely IL
iustratcd, s. % "A year. weekly. slOO
Ierms-DaIIy, 81 per annum; ~ for four
months: 80 cents per month delivered by car
riers for q cents per week A; Sunday edition. an
y illustrated, 81 per annum; cents per copy,
Daily and SUNDAY. = per annum: % cents PEI
month. Weekly edition, 81 por annum. Address
THE TIMES.
Chestnut and Eighth Streets,
rHILADELFHIA, PA
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1888-03-02
CwITHIN c. sHORTLIDGEEs' ACADMY
~ For Young Men and Boys Media. Pc

IL miles IRON Philadelphia. Fixed price covers
every expense, even books. sc. No extra charges
No Incidental expenses. No examination for ad-
mission. Twelve experienced teachers. all men,
and all graduates. Special opportunities for apt
students to advance "a pidly. Special drlll for
dull and backward boys. Patrons or stU"ents
nav select any studies or choose the regular Eng
lsh Scientific, Business. Classical or Ciyi Engi.
neering course. students ttted at Media Acad-
emy are now In Harvard, Yale, Princeton aPf ten
other Colleges and Polytechnic Schools. 10 stu
10 in 1855. A graduating class in the CONNIE al
department every year. Physical and Chem
ical Laboratory, Gymnasium and Ball GrOupd.
1850 vols. added 70 the Library in 1883. Media
has seven churches ana temperance charter
which prohibits the sale OF all intoXicrt ting
drinks For illustrated circular address the
Principal and Proprietor, SWITHIN. &. SHO RT-
LIDGE. A. NJ, (Harvard GraduatC) Media, Pa.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1888-03-02
DEMOCRACY & VICTORY
1888. 1888.
A TWelve-Page Weekly.
The Largest and Cheapest Democrats
Paper in the Union
For the Great Presidential Campaign of
of 1883.
.PITTSBURG WEEKltPOsT,
TWELVE PAGES AND 81 COL
UMNS OF INTERESTING
READING MATTER,
And an Extra copy FREE to the Getter
Up of Every Club of Ten.
GMED0TLAR

The coming presidential ear will be one OF the
most important in the history of the Democratic
party. THE WEEKLY POsT will give the history
OF the year complete. week by week. 1t will be a
year OF great conventions. OF great Political ac-
tIvity in State and nation OF Presidential nom
nations OF . tremendously active and aggressive
Denocratic campaign; and believe OF q
glorious victory.
THE WEEKLY PosT Will give all the news. In
its i pages and 81 columns viii be found that
careful variety OF reading that interests the man
OF business, the farmer. the politician. the
dent, and, eminenly the family and household
circle.
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1888-05-02

made interesting and entertaining for
a child old enough to beg for stories;
or almost any work the story-teller
is interested in can be described. If it
is the brother just come from the sugar
camp, where the maple syrup is boil
ing, a story about all the work and the
facts about the sap that is drawn away
from its work of building the tree and
made into sugar will seem as marvel
Gus as a fairy tale to the little listener;
or, when the children climb upon the
table to see the bread made, the story
of wheat plant, including threshing
and grinding the grain, will please and
instruct them. Grown people forget
that the little folks know only few of
the interesting things that seem so COM
mon to them, and they hunt for mar
wells about distant lands and strange
animals to tell the children, leaving all
the things the little minds have won
dered about unnoticed. 1t is not an
idle thing to help the little people in their
search for knowledge, for good be-
ginning makes all the long road easier"
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1888-05-02
Medicines Bad to Take.

An old-fashioned notion that "physic ~
ought to be nasty," and if it is not
nasty it can not possibly do the patient
any good, seems now in fair way to
be ranked among exploded fallacies.
The Pharmaceutical Journal, which
has played a conspicuous part in dis
polling this ancient delusion, tells us
that intelligent physicians and success
full practitioners now recognize the fact
that the influence of the mind over the
body is such that the whims and fas-
tidiousness of patients in respect to
nauseous and offensive medicines can
not consistently be ignored" But
there is yet another reason, as this
authority reminds us. 1t is well-known
that patients often deceive their doctor
by secretly throwing away medicines
that offend the taste or are repulsive in
appearance, and this even in cases
where the successful action or the fail
ure of the remedy is perhaps matter
of life or death. AS natural result, if
a patient dies or derives no benefit the
doctor or the drug, or both, bear the
blame. After this no one will be sur
prised to learn that the past year has
shown greatly increased appreciation
of everything that tends not only to
definite doses, but also to convenience
and palatabiity in medicines. London
Daily NeCS.