The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1888-03-21
Pith and Point.

THERE is man in Kansas City who, II is
said, can eat ninety eggs at meal. rms
must be the fellow the hens are laying
for"
JOSEPH the French cook whom Mr..
Vanderbilt has engaged at salary OF SlO,-
600 year, does not know how to make
mince pie.
THE Chatsworth disaster has already cost
the Toledo, Peoria a. Western railroad more
than $500, 200 in damages and there is $780,
600 yet to pay.
PURCHASER: "Have you Hawthorne's
Moses from an Old Manse?" Attendant:
" I'm sorry, madam, but we dOnt keep DO
tanical works."
INSURANCE statistics lead to the remark
of a contemporary that Americans Of the
middle and upper classes are healthier and
longer-lived than Englishmen.
A BALTIMORE thief stole a saw-lnill the
other day but he left the mil-dam, because
he thought the owners might want to use it
when they found the mill gone.
THE original elements are earth, air, fire
and water. Fire is the most destructive
and water is the most powerful. Fire
water, therefore, forms combination that
is teaser.-Binghamto Ledder
SOME of the shepherds in the mountains
of Bulgaria lead an outdoor life tending to
their flocks for ten or fifteen years without
knowing what it is to sleep in house or to
enjoy any of the comforts of civilization.
THE following order was received by
grocer in Kentucky: &C Pleas send me by
the barrar lbs cofey, Id shooger, pint
of whiskey and box of tax. My wife had
a baby last night, also Id of nails & a
munkey rench."
IRISH photographer to sitter: You're
sure the position you occupy now is the one
you want" Sitter : " Yes positive" Pho
tographer: " just to make doubly sure,
won't you come here and look in the camera
and see?"
NEW rule for removing cinder in the
eye is given by an engineer. 1t is: Let
the injured eye alone and rub the other one,
and the cinder will be out in two minutes"
1t is a simple remedy, though ii sounds I'M
reasonable, and is worth trying.
A LITTLE boy was told that the Rev. Mr..
Goforth, the missionary to China, would be
the only Christian minister in charge of
district having as many people as are in the
he have to holler?"-IOrOnto Globe.
In Appleton, Oregon, they have killed
the goose that getting ready to lay the
golden egg. A housewife in that town,
upon cleaning goose slaughtered to make
an Oregonian holiday, found in the gizzard
piece of gold of the value of fifty cents.
MAMMA (tonurse): What is all that noise
in the nursery, Marie?" Nurse: "Ze leetle
dog, madame, has taken Mees Flossie's
candy" Mamma: Well, take it from him
at once, Marie, and give it to Miss Flossie.
Poor little Fido, he mustn't eat so much
candy; it might make him sick. 1.-THE Epoch.
81 DON'T see," said an eastern man to a
Kansan, "why the settler on the frontier
lives in dug-out. Why doesn't he cut a
door and windows in a Kansas pumpkin
and live in that" "Well, you see," said
the Kansan, the Kansas pumpkin is so
large that it can not be kept warm in winter
without great deal of fuel and fuel is
very arce.'-MiSSouri Paper.
A LOVER of the curious in number ~ has
arrived at some interesting facts about Ber-
lin. The city has 30 miles of streets, so
that person might walk ten days in the
capital without retracing his steps. If the
100000 inhabitants marched in double file
they would form a line nearly $50 miles in
length. If the citizens determined to start
upon a journey at the same time all the cars
of Germany would accommodate but two
thirds of the number
SENATOR BERRY of Arkansas tells his
friends of trial for assault in his state
in the course of which a club, rail, an
axe-handle, knife and shotgun were ex-
hibited as g the instruments with which the
deed was done" But it was also shown
that the assaulted man defended himself
with revolver, a scythe, a pitch-fork, a
chisel, hand-saw and dog. The jury,
Mr.. Berry says, came to the conclusion that
they'd have given dollar apiece to have
seen the fight.
HE was a jew, an "'Ebrew jew" who
travelled for big New York house and
sold small wares. Seated comfortably in
the Pullman, he found beside him rather
sedate-looking gentleman, with whom he
sought to converse, and, after the manner
of his kind, began by telling what goods he
sold. And you, my friend" he said, q val
ish your line?" Brains" answered his
sedate and would-be retiring companion
All! brains, you say? That must be nice
You garry no samples, eh?'
In one of our neighboring cities pool
LONG hppn a N applipant a a tx
Hall for charity The authorities sent al
officer to investigate the applicants case
He found the man, five children and six
dogs all cold, dirty and hungry. The Officer
demonstrated with the man for keeping Sc
many dogs when he hadn't the means t.
feed even his own children but he refused
to give up any of them, saying, however
that only four belonged to him-the othe
two were visitors.-BoSt0n Globe.
THE following are samples of some letters
received by congressman. To a membe
from Indiana Dear .Sir-If the agricul
tural department is sendin' out any choice
breeds of hogs dis year, whot is proof agins
cholera, send me pare of the best Polil
China Pigs, and anything in the CHECKER
line that you think will stand our climate
Be certain to get the kind what roosts high
as chicken-thieves are mighty bad in thes
parts" To member from Kansas: " VI
Dear Sri never write to any one unles
it is on business, so | drop you few lines
! have invented tlying-machine by whic
human being can navigate the air as live
as mountain eagle. | want you to intro
duce a bill and pass it that will allow tn
postmaster-genera to employ my machin
for the use OF the post-offce department il
transporting the mails If you can do thi
we can make bushel of money, and the
we can go into Allen county and start a first
class COW ranch"
WHEN Amos Cummings NOW editor {
the EUeniRg San and member of congress
arrived in New York, after the war, he ha
a most excellent opportunity to be a tram
All he possessed beside job lot of ragge
clothes on his back was twenty cents wort
of postage-stamps badly glued togethe
He wore pair of battered cavalry boot
and about three-quarters of pair of trol
sers The place where the missing part
the latter should have been was conceale
by sunburned army overcoat. In tn
garb he climbed up to Horace Greeley's ed
torial den and asked Mr.. Greeley for o
He did not ask to be appointed to either IL
position of managing editor or foreman. i
was willing to do anything. No place fl
Won. - Suueaked Mr. Greeley without tur