Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1888-08-09
ARRESTED ron ASSAULT


comes into my blaze. vhas l Carl
Dunder: l vhas. Say, Mr.. Dupder.
vhas your family oop shtairs? She
vhas. I'm! Well. / vhas told so. but
dOan' belief him. 1t vhas criminal
carelessness on your part. Poorly soon
ne shows me dot my place can get on
lire in six hoOnerdd deterrent places.
und We vhas all burned oop in our beds.
Dot makes me scared"
"He wanted to sell you a fire es-
cape"
mo. he doan' hat some.'
''Well. what was it,"
HE makes me shpeaking tube to
go Oop shtairs. One end vhas out door.
so der policeman can call me from der
sidewalk if a fire was going. He makes
der price so reasonable dot all can
afford him, und he puts in whistle"
Il See"
well. all der poys come in und see
him und eafery pody says he vhas q
good thing. 1t vhas only fife dollar to
save all our lives"
(Which are worth at least twice
that. replied the sergeant.
II goes in ped by ten O'clock" con-
tinued Mr.. Dunder. without noticing
the slur, ''und doan' fall ashleep be-
fore somepody blows dot whistle nit
der tube, under q voice says: Hello!
Dunder'
''Yes. dot vhas me. Was all on
fire."
''Oh. no. sfust call you oop to ask
if you ever had soft corn between
your toes?"
''Nefcr! You vas a loafer!'
"Oh, vhas.eh! I'll see you to-mor.
row. Good night, old crab-apple:'
1T vhas some loafer. sergeant. und
/ vhas SO mad can't go to sheep. My
wife says shall let it all go und keep
quiet, but in q few minutes dot whistle
plows again. and SOMEBODY softly calls
me:
"Hclloh! Dunder!"
Eyes; dot vhas me-"
"Any signs Of fire oop-shtairsf"
"No."
"Und d0sn' see none oudt here. II
you should be a-fire COP dere. please
whistle down queek, SO dot We can run
AWAY"
"WhO vhas yOu?"
..Der GOfernor of Ohio. Will call
around tomorrow.
s'Vhell, sergeant. doan' be in bed
ten minutes again before somepOdy
whistles again. I goes oafer by der
tube und says:
WHO vhas dere??"
"Me.''
"WhO vhas me?"
"Der po!icemana How vhas it oop
deree"
..All right
"Und she vhas all right down nere.
Dot vhas sphlendid idea OF yours, Mr..
Dunder. You Will never be purned
oop in your bed"
Ibid you want something?"
"Oh. no. Being as ! vhas passing
by shust try der tube to see if he vhas
all right. Good night. old man."
$50 on" said the sergeant, as Mr..
Dunder paused.
''In ten minutes more dot whistle
plows again, und eafery ten minutes all
dot night hal to slump oudt of bed
und say:
Hello! Who vhas dot?"
Your friend, ShudSe Comeback"
"Und vhas you want?''
"Can you lend ne fife dollar till
Saturday,"
MOI
"Vhell. doan' plow my head of.
Can't lend me a flyer. eh?'
Nor
"Vhcll. dot settles me. Dis vhas
splendid idea of yours. l come over
and talk NIT you eafery few minutes.
IL doan' shleep one wink all dot
night. und my wife und Shake vhas all
broke up. When daylight comes ]
smash dot pipe all to pieces nit der Ak
und lick two men who comes in und
makes fun of ME. Was l to blame,
sergeant"
"Oh. no."
"Vhas some greenhOrns?'
"No. Let me see where the war
rants are
"Warrants. For me?'
1.-TWO warrants for assault and bat
terry. Might as well serve them on you
here. II you can show self-defense or
great provocation you can probably
get of with nominal fine, but if you
can't it will"
But Mr.. Dunder had gone. and he
didn't return for his hat. which blew
OIL at the dOOr.-Detroit Free Press.
How He Got His Title.
Colonel Randall, Of Michigan. was
>cl.>1 ~r~ l~~, 1A~H v~ho.~ I,