Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1888-09-14
NO. As
A Puzzle in Pronunciation.


Until a few years ago the proper or rath
er uniform pronunciation of English word
was not the subject Of much concern in th
! United States There were two or three
recognized standards among dictionaries. and
in addition To these some of the colleges set
Up standards of their own or made innova-
| tions while the masses of the people pro-
nounced upon "a standard Of their own. and
chiefly as they had become accustomed to
do in the parts OF the country where they
lived. OF course all this tended to diversity
and provincialism. and .aiter the lapse ofa few
generations. to the formation of dialects.
OF late there has been a general movement
for uniformity and correctness. Websters
dictionary j. generally accepted as the
an.laTd. II makes not much difference
what the standard is SO that there is one,
for English is language which cannot be
pronounced according 10 rule The excep-
tons generally outweigh any rule that can
he made. Some ofthe changes made in the
pronunciation of words in the past few
years are radical and often absurd. and the
generation that is passing into old age will
he obliged to unlcari much that they were
taught in their youth. to conform themsel-
YES To modern standards. If anyone thinks
he can speak English correctly we advis
him to read aloud the following exercise,
prcnGUncing each word as he thinks it
should be and then refer to Webster's die
tionary for the correct pronunciation We
b.. will
own mistakes of those of the dictionary:
'one enervating m, rIing. just after the
rise oi the sun. youth hearing the cogno-
men Calico. sldcd in his gontloIa over the
legendary waters Of the lcthean Thames.
He.waS accompanied by his allies and CO.
adjutors. the doiorous Pepys and the erud-
lie Cholmondelcy. the most combative aris-
toerat eXtant. and an Epicurean. who for
learned vagaries ard rcvolting discrepancies
0i character would take precedence Of the
most eTueite oi all the Arcopagitae litersti.
These sacr.esious dramatis persona were
discussing IN detail a suggestive and ex-
haGSting address,. delivered from the
RroScenium-box Of the CaIisthenic Ly-
ceum by notable fnancier
on obligatory hydropathy as ac-
cessory To the irrcvocabIe and irreparablc
doctrine Of evolution. which had been We
hemently panegyrized hy splenetic pro-
fessor OEaooustics and simultaneously de-
nounced by a complaisant opponent as an
romance of the last decade
to no reasoning. however allo-
nathi,. nutsida nf ~ axt-, Iou.ntakIa anv;
rons. These peremptory tripaftite brethren
arrived at Greenwich, wishing to aggrand-
ize themselves by indulging i'm exemplary
relaxation indieatory of impIaeable detesta-
ton of integral tergiverSation and exoteric
intrigue. They fraternized with phreno
logical harlequin who was u eonnoisseur in
and lalconry. This piquant per
son was heaping contumely and seathing
raillery on AN amateur in jugular recitative
who held that the Pharoahs of Asia were
conyersant with his theory that morphine
and qunine were exorciSts of bronchitis
Meanwhile the leisurely Augustine Of
Cockburn drank from t6rtoiseShell wassail
cup To the health ot an apothesized rccu-
SAINT vino was his sHpererogatory patron,
and an assistant reeogiiizanee in the inmo-
bile nomenclature of interstitial molecular
Phonics. The contents of the vessel PROV
ing Soporitic, stolid plcbian took from itS
ceremeuts "a hcraldic rioloncello. and. a.
sislcd by a plcthoric diocesan from Pail
Mall. who performed on SonoraGs piano
forte. proceeded To- wake the clamorouS
echoes Of the empyrean. They bade the
prolix Caucasian gentleman not to miSeon-
strue their inexOrable demands while they
dincd ON acclimated anchovies aud apricot
trufIlcs and had for dessert wisaacre'S
pharmaeopGia Thus the truculent 9Th
agoreaus had a novel repast for the Z dis.
ON the subsidence Of the feast they alterna-
ted between soft languors and isolated
scenes Of squalor. which followed me-
chanists reconnaissance Of the imagery Of
Uranus. the legend of whose ireognito re-
lated to u poniard wound in his abdomen,
received while cutting "a swath i'm the inter
ests of teegraphy and posthamous Ph"tng-
raphy Meantime AN unctuous ortheopist
applied homeopathic restorative To the
rctina of an abjuratory spaniel named Dan
iel and tried To perfect the construction of
behomoth which became mired i'm a
slough while listening 10 the elegiae sough-
ing Of the prehistoric wind