The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1888-07-15
BILL NYE'S ADVENTURE.
Describing the Indignity Inflicted
Upon Him by NefariOus
Individual.

Yesterday had a personal conf1ic
of bitter and acrimonious nature will
an unknown person, on ny grounds q
Staten Island. 1 desire to speak of i
myself rather than have the matter ge
into the papers in garbled state.
[ livein quiet portion of the island
Just within sight of the Produce Ex-
change tower, but beyond the reach Of
the night air of New York. Here, WE
have civilization on the one hand and
the wild whoJp of Buffalo Bills savages
OH the otner. Just near enough to
make it exciting.
did no: think l would be annoy ed
here by peddlers. beggars and fakirs.
Yesterday, a plain, sad man rung the
door bell. He told my representative
that he desired very much to meet me,
and presented his card. The name was
not familiar to me, but put on my
other coat and invited him into the
cold, cold parlor to which l invite
people who do not come highly in
dorsed
He was rather quiet, and sad in spots.
l sympathized with him, for | know
what it is to be sad.
He had a letter of introduction, he
said, from well-known hterateur and
centrere of mine, which he begged
leave to present. read it. 1t intro
duced the bearer in the usual form and
begged me to treat him kindly, and
stated that any favor shown to him
would be gladly reciprocated. then
told the stranger that we had pleas
auter room than that, and | would be
glad to have him come in and sample
it.
Now" said 1, touching an electric
bell and ordering a large watermelon
what can l do for you? Would you
like TO visit the Woman's Exchange, or
would you rather give yourself up to
an afternoon with me at Wander bilt s
tomb?"
He said that he dii not wish 70 take
up my time. He had only called On a
matter of business, and would not de-
tain me but a moment. He then drew
from its concealment somewhere about
his person the prospectus for sub
scription book, and before could stop
him had said: I'VE purpose in this
work to treat of every thing that peo-
pie want to know about. 1t has stats
tics in it, but they are so presented
that you like them. You read along
down the long columns with the keen
est enjoyment. There is thread of
interest running through these tabu-
lated statements which make you sit up
until long after o'c ock reading them.
Ali the book is socked full of interest
and thrill and yet it would not harm
any one to read it. That is not all. 1t
is reliable. Evtry remark in it is
backed up by statements. 1t comes just
at time when every one is doubling
the authorship Of other books and gives
to one and all feeling of confidence
and assurance when faith is wavering
and the readeris cropping and clutching
for something tangible and stable. This
is essentially stable book. 1t tells how
to break colts, how to treat cribbers,
bolts and army worms, how to bring up
children and put down huckleberries,
how to treat setting hen during con-
valescence, how to make cook stove
or a cistern pump draw, how to write
for the papers, how to keep ants out of
the pantry, how to make parents self
supporting, how to put up a lambre-
quin or put down a carpet, how to
purify politics or make floating islands,
how to modify the tariff or make a
good, durable style of pork brine that
will not smell like delayed autopsy of
dog days, how to make molasses candy
or speak piece, how TO tell by pigs
melt IN the fall whether we are going to
have an open winter or not, how to
bank up house, how to win the affec-
ton of the opposite sex, how to meet
an emergency, how to make ink at
home which will speak for itself, how
to dye a dress black, how to remove
lavender pantaloons from fruit stains,
how to sew upa man who has tried to
run a colored german, hints on hen cul-
ture, hints on voice culture, hints on
marriage, farming, REVEALS, etiquette;
how to make good, paIatable poultice;
what to do in case of drowning, how to
make one dandelion root serve as the
foundation for gallon of bitters every
spring for ten years, how to amass
wealth and dodge the grand jury, how
to snare grizzly bear. IN fact, every
thing you want 10 know told in pleas
ant style for So So"
1t was at this time that the personal
encounter took place. l am not a
muscular man. but my arms and legs
extend in every direction when l am
excited. They ere longer and more
1.-the than those of the average man.
An artist from Munich once told me
that he thought was the linn blest man
he ever saw, and he had seen great
many men.
did not permanently disfgure this
person, but [ jolted him severely and
confused snd concussed him in three
or four places. after which he went
away. After he had gone, [ became
mere calm. 1 retired to my dressing
room, where my valet turned my cuffs
for me. l then returned to the parlor.
On the floor found the prospectus. 1t
had been left by mistake. 1 was cooler
now. 1 took it up and read the name
of the author on the title-page. 1t was
as fellows: bill Nye." New York
World.