davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-08-23

may be. on one or those college Don't
crews. and he was The biggest man in
the college. only not much on brains. ="
Just like nv sister!' groaned.
My landlady looked surprised, but
went on.
'He was sort o. all body. l guess.
Well. he died from overtraI ning-I
think that's what they call the disease. +"
Perhaps I've got things mixed; maybe
it was n stroke he had. He either had
one, or was one, or something. Ain t
your room comfortable, sirP"
replied with an absent minded
~ es," and walked away.
1t had evidently been another case
of what now call 'divided personali-
ty" in the work on psychical research
which have already begun. That re-
markable shadow is sufficient proof for
my theory. and u chapter will be de-
voted to it. l have given up my edu-
cational work for the sake of this, and
hope to complete it before succumbing
to lack of bodily and excess of mental
power. Such will be my eventual
fate.
N. Ban account of tins wonderful
phenomena was given my sister.
She exclaimed:
''Fiddlesticks; some OF the school
girls playing shadow pantomime tricks
on my Moonstruck brother!"
add this only to further prove my
theory by her lack of reason.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-08-23
An Economist.

A traveller in Kentucky who had
stopped and begun conversation with
a squint-eyed old fellow who was cut
ting briars and sassafras sprouts out
of the fence corners, pointed 10
house some distance away and asked:
"Who lives over thereP"
1.-The Widder Bradley" the farmer
replied, IAN l DO reckon that she's a
leetle the peartest woman in the
neighborhood. She fust married Pete
Bradshaw. Pete he died and the Wild
der was putty much grief-struck. She
had little money and she hired a
stone-cutter to chisel out monument
for Pete, agreeing to furnish the rock
herself. The cutler went to work, but
as he want in very big hurry, the
wilder she tuck a-likn' to a Teller
Aamed Sandy Smith an married him.
Then she told the cutter to jest chip
along at his lezur' an he done so. 1t
want long after this till Sandy got n
leetle full. fell often the foot-log into
the bayou and was drownded. The
wilder had him dug out an buried be-
an told him to put one more name on
the monument. She moped around
fur some little time an didn't pear to
enjoy her vidults very much. but
atterw' lie thar come along Teller
named Nose Bradley Nose he made
dead set at the wilder and she tuck
him, she did About month after
this. Nose ne run afoul NV u
pizen sort NV irresponsible Teller an
was laid out. The wilder was nightly
crushed, bein' NV q powerful tender
natur', but urged on by her strong
business instincts she got on q mule,
rode over to the stone-cutter' house
an calling the Teller out TO the fence
axed HIM eff that ar monument was
done.
"'Not quite the Teller lowed. ez he
breshed some limestone dust outen his
whiskers-
"'Wall,' says she. have you got
room on the readln' side Nv it fur er
nuther namep'
81 reckin 1 kin comerdate you.
madam said he.
avail, them she lowed, Jest put
Nose Bradley on thar in ez good shape
ez you KEN
'.He done it, an the wilder she put
ND the monument over all three Of the
| fellors an had these here words cut on
one side Here lies the bodies nv my
three tender an lovin' husbands Now,
SIR" the farmer added, as he struck
at a lizard with his briar-hook. lido
you know whut sort Nv q break I'm
goin' to maker
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-08-23
How Sir Giles Divided His Fortune.

BY the death of Sir Robert Loder one
OF the largest fortunes made in the
early days of this half century passes
from one hand to large family. The
late Giles Loder left his son sixteen
years ago the income of nearly two
and half millions of money and per-
sonal estate of very large sum in adj.
dition. This son. tho deceased baronet,
became large landed proprietor both
in Northamptonshire and in Sussex in
addition TO holding properties in Russia
and Sweden. or his three estates in
Northamptonshire. Whittlebury. the
largest and most complete adjoining
the properties of the Duke of Grafton
and the Duke of Buckingham, and pur-
chased from the trustee of the late
Lord Southampton at cost of f335,
600, passes with the baronetcy, and is
entailcd on the eldest son, SIR Edmund
Giles Loder. high sheriff of Northamp-
tonshire, who, in addition TO his mar
rage settlement of ESQ, 600. is left a
legacy of 100000 tied up with
the Whttlebury property and the
residue of Giles Loder's trust after the
powers of apo ntment are exhausted.
The second son. Wilfrid Loder, the
banker, is bequeathed the estate of the
High Beeches and Duncombe, in the
County of Sussex. and the sum of f175
600 TO Alfred Loder. of Livingstone
Darrell, in addt on to his MARI age
settlement of f100, 900 is given an ad'
ditional f200 600; TO r. B. Loder the
estate of Maidwell, Northamptonshire,
a settlement of f200 600. and legacy
of f25. 600 to Sidney Loder the estate
of Floore. in Northamptonshire. and
the sum of f225 900; and to Gerald
Loder and to Eustace Loder legacies
and appointments of $500. 900 each.
To his eldest daughter. Lady Burrell of
Knepp Castle, he leaves the freehold
property at Shipley. Sussex. and in adj
ditiou to her marriage settlement OF
9100. 600 an additional sum of 912J, 00O
is apponted; and TO his other daugh-
ter, Mrs. Stewart the wife of Gen. A.
Stewart. in addition to her marriage
settlement of El00, 600. an additional
f140, 600 is appointed; and to his
widow, Lady Loder. in addition to her
marriage settlement, an annuity of E3 =
500 and the use for her life of AZ Gros-
venor square. Small sums have also
been left TO many charitable institu'
lions. Manchester Guardian.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-08-23
Close Association.

An old negro. wearing Mortified
expression of countenance. sat OH n
stump. A white man came along, an d
noticing the negro. approached him
and asked him if he were in trouble.
The negro pc nted to the ground. and
the white man looking down. saw that
large snapping-turtle had the unfort-
innate fellow by the big toe.
Where did you get himp"the white
man asked. struggling with himself TO
keep from laughing.
"Wuz er sittn' on CIR log out ODER de
bayou jes now. fishin' wild my feet in
de water wen dis blame scounul (shak-
ing his head at the turtle) come err
laung an grabbed me by de toe. 1
drug Ii IN out yare an yare we is.
Cant you get him off "
Nor. sali.
why don't you smash him to
piecesp"
dat wouldn' nebcr do, sah," he ex.
claimed in alarm.
''Why?"
Gaze dis is CT Friday
''What difference does that make?"
"Look ware, whar YOU been raised
dat you doan know whut dilfunce dat
would makeP wy man. doan ' on
know dat eff CIR turtle ketches you on
FIR day an yer KANT make him turn
loose widout breakin his shell ur jaws.
dat yer gwne ter hab bad luck an dat
yer's M ghty likely ter git cunjured by
any ole oman OATS got suthin' gin
yer? wy, sab; eff you doan know lat
YOU mus been raised in or mighty out
de-wav place.
ut is something new to me.
"But faint new TO me. Wy, l1
year ole Mark Joyner WIZ coich by or
turkle on Frida am he mashed dc
life outen de turkle, he did,"
did anything happen to himP"
"Anything happen ter himP Dat
man had de fines piece O. con / cher
seed in my life. but, sab, after he
mashed dat turkle no mo- rain fell on
dat con. De rain would come up ter
dc fsnce. but it would stop right dar
an, sab. dat con wuz burnt boda-
tiously up. an, mon dat his mule
Il ed. an or white man knocked him in
dc head wild er rock. Oh Lawdy. Oh.
Lawdy!" he moaned "Neber did hab
nothn' to fit so tight on my foot befo.
Boss, git down dar an see eff he amt
mighty nigh got my toe of. -
The white man looked, and reported
that the toe was in very bad condi-
ton.
Vas. sab. vas; l think so merse'f. y
"How do you expect to get loose?"
.Wall, sab, Of it thunders ter-day
his iaws'n Av open. but eff not I'll
halter wait till ter-mor', an den. you
bet, I'll swing corners wild him. Den
I'll If HIM up on er rock an mash de
'fernal life outen HIM. Oh, Lawdy. dc
blame scounnul is tghtenin' his grip.
Eff had dem jaws I'd hire merse'f ter
or blacksmith ter bite off hoss-shoe nails.
Better go on, boss. mn leabe mo erlonc
wild my comp'nv an close ISOLATION"
| -ArkdnSdtO IraUeLer
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-08-23
Cant say that l do" the traveller

Cant say that do" the traveller
replied.
''pll tell you. I'm goin' to marry
that widder."
She must be very attractive"
'.No. she amt. nuther."
"Has money l suppose.
'.No"
Then why do you wish to marry
herP"
On account of her political econ :
omy. You see. her husbands wuz
mixed up more or less in politics, an
woman that makes one monument
do fur three politicians is the female
critter that I'm after. reckon love
economy better'n any man in the
world. Some folks like music. an
some air fond NV barbecued shoat !;
some like liker. an some like a good
boss, but jest give mo economy. eff you
please. Ell I'd got all the economy
wanted, l would have been wuth
suthin' to-day, l married the most
'stravagant woman l ever seen. Do
YOU know what that woman won Id
dop know'd her to buy five yards
and an hat NV calico to make q
dress outcn. when she oughter know'd
that five yards was enough. An eat!
wy have know'd her to set at the
table an eat fur fifteen minutes at a
stretch. Vas. an she got so tony to-
ward the last that she wanted
sugar in her coffee. 1 arg ued with
her. Ibid; told her that ten minutes
after she had drunk the coffee it
wouldn't make no diffunce whuther it
had been sweetened or not, but she
would have her way. She broke me
up. that's what she done. WALL" he
added. as he reached out with his
briar hook and turned over a toad.
az m goin' to marry that widder, an
eff she dies on my hands I'll bury h er
ez clost to that monument ez | kin
an git that stone cutter to gouge out
another name. "-Opie r. Read. tn
Arkansaw Traveller.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-08-23
A Dude Bridegroom.

How do look. Dicky?'
Dicky is the "best man" and Il
brother dude. He replies with great
ferver:
"Oh, splendid. deah boy. splendid"
"Weallv. DickyP'
"'Pon honah. old fellow. "
ME nccklie all right Dicky|
Yes, yes - ever, things all right"
"Weally. DickyP"
"'Pon honah. deah boy.
ME coat sets well in the back.
Dickv?'
Couldn't hc bcttah.
"Weally, DickyP'
Yes. weakly"
40, Dick ~
well. deah boy?"
Isn't there a Wrinkle. great. horrid
Wrinkle in mv right glover"
',No-'pon honah
'Uh. I'm so glad. for-O, DickY!'
"Well, me boy?"
"Would you mind taking the brush
and smoothing me hair down littlo
on the left side!'
with pleasure. old Eel. '
"Ah thanks"
How do you feel, me boys"
"a twifle nervous Dicky."
"Ah. brace up, brace up. me boy"
What time IS it Dicky?"
"A quarter to 8. b"
"Ah! Almost time for the ceremony.
Hanged 1T don I wish it was all over
W tn. You sure | look all right.
DickyP"
Splendid. old fol !"
'Ah. thanks awfully, deah DO I'm
twifle pale. ELI. DckyP"
"A mere twiflle.'
"Ah, thanks. Would YOU mind fan
ming me q little. Dcky?"
with pleasure, me bo'. :"
90 Dicky. what if | should faintP'
There. there, me boy; don't get
nervous.
Hanged il can help IL. All. it's
time to meet Helen, and look all
right, my necktie-I-mi trousers
for I-I-my hair. Dcky, my hair,
Ito, Dicky L III so nervous!'.--
Detroit Free Press.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-08-23
Why He Didn't Meet Her.

"Hellon
"Hellor
.Is this Miss Bondp"
"Yes, SIR. Who are youp"
Zone of your friends. Where can
meet you?"
Right here, sir ut my home"
''All right. Come down to the corner
of Lincoln and Brainard streets. FL
be there in fifteen minutes and will
walk home with youP
The above conversation took place
one evening last week. Miss Bond
had been annoyed several times by
this anony nous conversationalist.
She was glad of an opportunity to see
him.
In five minutes time she was seated
in the parlor of friend whose win
dows overlooked the corner of Lincoln
and Brainard streets. A party of merry
young people surrounded her as she
sat back and watched.
In short time pretty young man
with a weak inoffensive face and the
ghost of mustache appeared and
stationed himself on the corner. He
had q cigar in his dainty mouth, and
twirled ten-cent cane in his gloved
hands. He watched and waited for
thee, love, about two hours. before il
dawned upon his enfeebled intellect
that young ladies who think any
thing of themselves do not meet
strangers on street corners. Then he
flung away his dead cigar and went
home with his lost hopes. Detroit
Free Press.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-08-23
CAUGHT ON THE FLY.

.'Will you be glad, Sammy. when
youn little brother gets old enough to
talkP" "Won't !. though; an il he
uses cuss words I'll smash his little
head for him. '-Lye.
No paper next month. We always
observe the Fourth of July rs long as
we are able TO. But when tho thirty
days are out on can look for the paper
as al.-Lee county (Gd.) Netos.
Customer getting his hair cuD:
I'D dn't you nip off II piece of the ear
thenP' Barber (reassuringly); Yes
sab, small piece, but not 'nough to
effect de hearin', sab. "-Tcras StftingS.
First Colonial Patriot Ga century or
so ago): I'm in favor of nominating
George Washington for president"
Second Colonial Patriot: kin he
carry New York;" ''He kim" I'm
for him. "-New York Sun
Reporter: Mr.. Donnelly. it begins
to look as though you were going to
fail in your efforts to prove that Bacon
wrote Shakespeare. doesn it?" Igna-
titus Donnely: My dear ST., as Bacon
said, There's no such word rs fail
Judge.
Mrs. John Flighslinger (who paints
china): "Oh. John do take this fish off
my hook! Isn't it II beauty! But what
makes it wrigge sop John Ga brute)
'It's just possible it is thinking OF the
decorated platter it'll finally bring up
on. life
Lawyer: Ibid you not kiss tho
plaintiff continually whom you called
on herp' Defendant lin breach OF
promise suit: Yes 1 never stopped
kissing her while 1 was in the house,
but l did that in self-defense to keep
her from singing. TEXAS Sftin3s
Politician: well Uncle Rastus,
landp" Uncle Rastus Cautiously:
~ Sc gwine in dis year for Unc' Ras-
tus, sab; he's NV man, Is yo'
meanin' any business dis mawnin.
Mistah Smif, or am 20 simply feelin'
oh de situationP"-NeW York Sun
He Qrom Cincinnnti): "Where shall
you summer. Miss Dc Pester?' She
(from Boston): I'm Maine, Mr.. Goose
boy. We always go there. Papa wants
us to fall in New York, but L d II COOL
deal rather spring there. A friend OF
ours autumned in New York last year.
and she didn't like it at all. Judge.
Billy: Tom, amt you cImmin' out
wild der boys 10 have game of ball?'
Tom: Cant Use got to go to Sun
day school" Billy: "Oh there
wont be no Sunday school
to. day. We've bin down
to the church and tied the teacher
hand and legs. to the stove.' Tom
goes with them. Life.
Minister: do my eyes deceive me.
or is that ball game in progress over
in that tield?' Sections: "lts ball
game, SIR" Minister: Don't you
think l ought to go and rebuke them
with my presenceP' Sexton: "They
are the best clubs in the village, Mr..
Thumper." Minister: Come on!
We will rebuke them together. -
Judge.
How high is your daughters aver
age this year?" the mother of fair
graduate was asked IL have forgot
len," was the reply; 'but her gradual
ing dress cost S75. and l think this is
the highest in the class. Her father
thinks it was altogether too high. but
he doesn't seem TO take much interest
in his daughters education. "-Nor-
riSLOUn Herald
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-08-23
HE RESTED UP.
And Got Fired from His lob Before
the sun Went Down.

And Got Fired from His JOB Before
the sun Went Down.
My last experience with darkies,
says a writer in the Free Press, was
with little. robust old negro known
in our town as Uncle Scip. 1 hired
him to spade up my wife's flower gar
den. task any half-active man would
have completed in half day.
Uncle Scip said he would 'drap
round" and 'frow up dat dirt IN
bout fo'ty minnits.' He did'nt know
but he como around and do it some
morning "befo' brekfus. jess TO de
exercise"
He came instead at $3.50 one morn
ing when every body else had their
seeds in l was doing some work at
home that day. and said:
"Huray up. uncle; my wife wants to
get her seeds in the ground TO-DAY"
"Yes, sab; yes sab; I'll hab it done
less'n no time now"
Half an hour later l went out and
found the spade sticking up in the
ground and three or four shovels of
dirt thrown up.
Here, Uncle Scip." 1 said. 'this
won't do; you must work faster"
Eyes. sab; yes, sab; l was jess resin
up spell.
He seized the spade. made the dirt
fly while 1 was in sight, and in ten
minutes was lying dat on his back
under an apple tree.
Resting up some more, ehp" l
nd 1u
Eyes. sab; spadin' am monst'rous
hard work; fellow has to res up
good deal W. lie he's at hit"
"Well. if you don't hurry up you
won't get it done this day."
Huh. sab! Guess 20 DOM know old
Unc' Scip, does yo'P I'd GO hide my
head il 1 couldn't spade up dat little
gyarden spot in an hour"
At the end of an hour he had spaded
piece about six feet square. and was
sitting down with his back to the fence,
tanning himself with his hat:
Get up and go to work there" l
cried out of window.
Yes, sab; yes, sab; soon's I res up
up bit"
He spaded two feet more and began
'res'n up again. this time lying fiat
on his stomach on the grass, his heels
in the air.
.Jess resin up little, Missus." he
said to my wife, who went out to see
how he was getting along. Don't yo'
glib 20 self no worryment bout dis
gyard' n; hit'll be all spaded up long TO
20 need hit
He rested up" steadily until 1890
o clock. Then crony as tired as him.
self, came around and they rested
together in a sunny corner of the lawn
until IL o'clock; then went out and
said:
''Seo here. Scip either 60 to work
aud finish this spading or clear out and
let someone else do It.
"Shoo!" he shifted. "Wha' TO yo'
make such TODD bout little job Ike
dat. I'll git dat done in less'n no
time now"
He seized the spade with great
alacrty. spaded three feet, and then
came to the door and asked:
"What time am tP
"a quarter after IL
'Well lib so far way guess I'll
have to start home to dinnah now. /
likes allus to res up little TO- eatin'
my dinnah. )"
He came back at 2 o'clock, and,
after his walk of eight blocks, had to
res spell" He rested nearly all the
afternoon and at 5 o'clock l gave him
so cents of the 50 so he wanted 80 his
days work, and gave him his walk
ing papers and called in a good-sized
boy from the street who spaded up the
whole flower garden by o clock.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-08-23
A Teacher without Scholars.

There's a school district in Van
Buren, county where the lady Teacher
:. putting in her time and drawing h'r
pay without n single pupil in aitend'ln s..
lie two scholars IN the distr 81 aii.n +
IN another school. The teacher ~
hr.l N order to hold the public n,,,n-
cd troll Free frsss.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-08-23
Cured.

Colonel George L. Perkins of Norwich,
Conn.,, for fifty years treasurer, and st II
so, of the Norwich a. Worcester railroad,
was 100 years old on the 9th inst. He Is
business man in every way. This is his
longevity recipe: early to bed and early
to rise, cleanliness, industry, cheerful
ness, contentment; avoid the use of to-
bacco in every form, use stimulants only
as medic ne with advice of physician,
and If your physician uses them as a bev-
erage don't take his advice; pass saloons.
keep the taste simple, and eat bread free y
made from whole wheat flour, md YOU
will sleep well and be surprised that a
harp OF thousand strings can be kept
In tune so long"
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-08-23
A Dire Threat.

Vat" said the collector for little
German band to a citizen who sat in
his front window. ''you no gf noddings
for dot moosicp" mot cent? re-
piled the citizen. with hopeless en-
phas =. "Den We blay some, more dats
air. threatened the collector; so the ''il-
izcn hastily gave up quarter. -Epseit.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-08-23
In Great Luck.

Angry Customer Ito Mr.lsaacstein)--
Dutchy. when I bought this suit two
months ago you said it wouldn't fade.
Look at the color nowl Mr.. Isaacsteiu
My trent, dat vas changed peauti-
fully. 1 iron you dot suit for dhree
tollar und beebles will dink you choost
bouohd a new Won. -Ncw York Sun.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-08-23

Another international South American
railway scheme from Buenos Ayres t.
Panama is talked of, to be built by Eng
lish capital and American enterprise. As
it takes something over one hundred mil
lions Of dollars to carry out the project,
it may take few days yet before the great
American traveller may start from New
York for the Argentine Republic in YES
tibule train.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-08-23

Gen. Black of the pension Office Wash
ington, ID. c., received the following let
ter few days ago: ~ am the father of
seven sons by one wife. have been in
formed by different parties that where a
man is the father of seven sons and no
daughters he was entitled to pension.
Therefore | write to you to know the
truth about it, and if it be true l wish 10
know the truth of the matter If so, how
shall proceed?" The man who begets
seven sons hani-running, has not been
provided for by the government yet, but
he ought to be.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-08-23

As is usual, the papers gave to the pub
lie every word of ''Blinkey' Morgan,
hanged recently at Columbus, Ohio. Not
only this, but faithful record of his life
was gwen in the most sensational style.
Crime breeds crime, and the less said
about any mans bad life the better for
society.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-08-23

Mans inhumanity to man was forcibly
illustrated at the tenement house fire In
New York recently, when a number Of
the victims who tried to escape through
the windows to an adjoining building
were driven back and the iron shutters
closed, for fear the fire would c1mmuni-
cate to the goods in the other establish
ment. The man who closed the shutters
would be good subject for Indictment
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-08-23

Mrs. Elizabeth Cady Stanton claims
that women have fulfilled Horace Gree
ley's requirements for voter when he
said he would give woman the ballot
when she could sail ship around the
world and throw a man over stone wall
Kate Gardner has thrown the man over
the wall and Mrs. Patton has sailed O ship
from New York to San Francisco
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-08-23

August is an interesting anniversary.
The laying of the first Atlantic cable was
begun on August 5, 1857, and on August
r, 1853. electrical communication between
England and the United States was es-
tabllshed for the first time. The first
message was from Queen Victoria to
President Buchanan, and the second was
his reply.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-08-23

English railroads do not cut prices, but
they do cut time and have the fastest
trains in the world. The flying Scotch
man used to do S94 miles in nine hours. A
rival put on a train that eqr aled this, and
now the Scotchman dos the Stance in
eight hours. Notwithstanding the great
speed of the English railroads they killed
only 1911 persons last year.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-08-23

George Fineld and Hester Tyre of Par
kersburg, W. Va, have started new and
sensible fashion for clippers. They walk
ed fifty miles 10 the Ohio line TO get mar
ried, and took six days for the Journey
there and back. Two young people who
will walk one hundred miles to be married
deserve the paternal blessing, and they
will generally get it, for they have given
an evidence of sincerity which, in most
cases of elopement, is wanting.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-08-23

can get no remedy against this consump-
tIon of the purse; borrowing only fingers and
fingers It out, but the dIssase is incurabie. :
Shak<spears.