The Hot Springs star. (Hot Spings [Hot Springs], Dakota [Dakota Territory, i.e. S.D.]) 1886-189?, 1888-11-23
RANDOM REMARKS.
BY FREDERIC rowNsESD.


orally. "Thus, "Uptosnuffi 4 Ubetti,
Limited, bananas and boiled chest
nuts" Likewise, youth suffering
from pecuniary structure is apt to limit
his range of society to one agony lady.
The craze for limitation extends even
to railroad passes, statutes, and the
tails OF snowy roadsters. beg to OBJ
serve:
In those days Of corruption. ssnsrcns aad decay.
With bankers and aldermen, ull making hay.
Houest mon sink rs Of. as they swim it;
We csn hoist Il gilt a;sn and onr profits enhance
BY Claiming partnership limit
-.
Biles, an inveterate poker player and
a very absent-minded fellow, too, is
getting married.
She (prompting)-Take my hand.
He (stage whispcr)-Can't;I I'm broke.
Parson-I pronounce YOU man and
wife.
"Have you 'plasarch's Lives ?"
asked she.
"Just one left" responded the clerk.
The college graduate, just engaged
from the Cornell department of jour
nalism, was back from his first assign
mon.--a fire. He sat down at his desk,
and his lurid ideas began to flow.
"P-s-s-s-t-t!!" (Speaking tube.)
"Well?" jClassical reportsr.)
"Copy!' (Forcman composing room
ul,-stairs.,
".sll right, sir; in o moment, please. v
Budding journalist sweats his hair of
for rthrae-quartcrs of an hour, and finally
'elinuaishcs his task, satisfied that his
manuscript hears the elegance OF DIR.
Johnson's.
Then he places tho article in the tin
copy box and hc;sts it up the fue.
Bang-clang- smash sh-bur-r-r-r-r! Copy
box falling down the shaft.)
whats the matter, sir?" (F'right-
ened novice.)
"Your confounded old copy is so full
of iaw-breakers they're ca,,ght in the
line and upset the box"
(Two weeks later. Seven-syllabled
member of the staff has been instructed
to condense everything.)
"P-s-s-s-t-tl"
"Shut mp! I hear you"
"Send up report Of Dairy Mems Con-
vention."
Here she goes"
(5npi,nsed lapse of five seconls.)
"P-s-s-s-s-s-t-t-t!.'
"Dry up! What do you want?"
"Where's that report?'
"In the box"
"There's only a tin can here"
"Well, that's it---condensea milk
Children should learn rapidly in in.
dus.ri;l schools il o,i SAWS ars msde
,,!anc. Heretofore the bulk of knowl
edge has been hammered lii.
A bachelor f,ic,,d of niue calls hi.
nciglbor's baby "Chcstnut." bccaus,
he has heard it so often.
! Three men stood Mt bar NIL day
long, shaking dice, for drinks. One q
them stopped me that evening to say
"Yhcre are getting to he too many ricl
men in this country. Tho poor mel
do I'LL the work, ind they get th
profits"
4 MIR. Arthur do Bemiss is the idol q
his boarding house, though past forty
and Affects m air of coquettish gal
lantry that fits him rather on the ready
made plan. At party the other nigh
he outdid himself i'll attentions to
lady and scored brilliant record til
she happened to mention her prospect
i've removal to Chicago.
SO sorry" said Bemiss, in fair I'M
, tation OF q melancholy tone: sbut,
Frightening up az faded remnant Of
cllivalric quotation was brough! I
light in his memory, whats our gI
! will he Chicago's loss"
The chill that followed took the va
nilla flavor all out of the ice cream
was eating.
: Forthcoming books:
My slulnbcr in Garden by A
Tramp.
. "roothpick Papers," by Potter Pa
: mer.
: "Chcstnuts." by Z. p. Foe.
Leaves of Hay and Baled Grass,
G by Walt Whitman and Bill Nye.
4 "Tusnea On" by Edgar Fawcets.
"You can learn so much history fro,
our minister's Sermon" said old Mr.
Simple. He is very hysteric.
: preacher, indeed.