The Sully County watchman. (Clifton, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1894, 1888-09-22
WIT AND IIUMOR.

10 pasS.-B0Sf0n Bulletin.
The first assisted Italian Immigrant
TO tins country was n person named
Christopher Columbus.-Puc
amt much on politics, but I notis
at the one who gets ther is a statesman,
an him rs don't amt no,hin' but a
politician.-Judge.
She-Do you realize that our vaca-
tion is nearly done, Henry? He (wild.
ly)-More than that! 1t is all dun.-
Neic Hdrcn NciCS.
If q Bar Harbor girl must 60 out
canoeing she should employ sailor
and never trust her canoe to n heavy
swell.-Nea0 Orleans Picayunc.
Hired girl (to tramp)-'Go way;
won't give you nothin'." Tramp (from
Boston) - Particularly grammar.
Good-byr-W Washington Critic.
We fear that the philosopher who
said that ladies who wear unusually
rich gowns keep their husbands un-
usually poor gave voice TO n great
truth.-Harper's Bazar.
where did young Browne get his
money, papa?" From his uncle. old
Sam Brown. He inherited everything
he has in THIS world, except the final
&c to his name. Life.
Kentucky school-teacher-"W William,
which do you consider the most miser-
able of animals?n ..The camel.n
"Why?" Sometimes it has to 90 for
weeks without drink. ."-LincOln
Journal.
Other things have been settled by
scientific research, but no one yet has
ever been able accurately TO determine
whether big man suffers more than
small man when he has tho rheuma-
tism.-Somcrrilie Journal.
The best position in which to sleep
having been discussed, it is now asked
what is the worst position in which TO
sleep. We say, without hesitation, it
is the position of flagman on y rail-
road.-San Francisco Alta.
Citizen-Now that you are out of
State prison. Dolphus, what do you ex-
pect to do fora living? Dolphus Well.
/ dunno quite yet, boss. but spec I'll
have ter take n job wifi one of these
trust companics.-Teras SJtings.
Robert said his wife, suspiciously,
..where have you been? You're late
to dinner" 1--we been assisting in an
humble way, my dear, toward i'm
proving the breed of horses 20, /
was afraid you were ut the races."-
| Life.
Old lady-(to village postmistress-
Hev We got anythin' fer me, Miss
Bullard? Postmistress-Herc postal
from your daughter Mandy. How she
do improve in spellin' scnce she's ben
goin' to that boardin' school. -Harper's
BazGr.
Johnny was the son of a paragraph
er, and when he saw his mothers sister.
of uncertain age, freshening upher APP
pearancc by rouging her checks he
said: Aunt Jennie, you're decorating
an antique mug, amt you?-Drake's
Mdgaziac,
Pa-Nhat would you like to be when
YOU grow up, Johnny? JOHNNY
think I'll be soldier, ''You might
get killed. Who by?" by tho
enemy. of course" We'll, then, l
guess had better be the enemy
Ieras Sytings.
Brown (taking Robinson home)-
What dye s'pose your (hic) wife II say
t'morrev morning, Robinson? Bobin-
son She'll (hic) shay new hat an silk
dressh. Browny, ole boy, an b'gosh she
won't shay EN- (hic) more'n once,
either.-Icras Sytinga.
Spinster (to bird-fancier) Have you
nice parrot. sir, whose choice of
English is somewhat above the average?
Dealer Yes. ma l'am; have just the
| bird YOU re cooking - Parrot Cm-
ploringly) For gawd's sake, boss,
don't let me go!-Lgs.
Bereayed widow (to country cditor)
DO YOU charge for obituary notices.
Mr.. Shears? Country editor-As u
general thing, we do, Mrs. Bently; but
your husband and were old friends.
and | will only be too glad to publish
his obituary for nothing. -Lge.
When freight agent tells you that
your trunk is waxing shaky, and needs
strap, ask him if he has any straps
| for sale. If he says he has. YOU may
rest assured your trunk is all right and
doesn't require one, any more than q
country dentist needs diploma
Puck.
'How much cider did you make this
year?" inquired one farmer up in Dex-
ter of another who had offered a speci-
men for trial. Fifteen barrels" was
the answer. Another sip. "Well, il
you had another apple you might have
made another barrel. " Bangor Com
mcrcial.
Wife Ito country editor)-Aren'tyo you
feeling well tonight, JohnP Country
editor-Not very, my dear. An in
dignant subscriber came into the office
this afternoon and mopped up the floor
with me. Wife (anxiously)-Heavens,
John. hope he didn't stop his paper,
too!-Lye.
Algerton (waiting)-"Aw. say.
Bobby, what does you'ah sistah think
of me. anyway" Bobby-"She says
she thinks you're just too nice to live
and-"Algernon (highly elated)--
Yaas!" Bobby-"An' she can't see
why the authorities out of mercy don't
| bara ynn shnt f,yYus