Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1888-01-10
FULL OF FUN.

vertisement If Gwedes iron they
might go into copartnership with tho
Chinese who wash. TEXAS Siftings.
Mamma. do you know what q
Maltese kitten isP' "What is it. my
sonP" "Why, it's kitten you can
maui and tease"
-"Have you heard the sad mis-
fortune that has bofallen our friend
MaierP" "No What was the mat
terP" "Why. only last night he Joined
us at supper well and hearty as
usual" "Ycs, and to-day, only six
hours afterward, he was marrledr-
Magdeburger Zeitunq.
"A little village of Provence is set
ting itself up MS fashionable resort.
We quote from its printed circular:
Thanks to tho exceptional salubrity
of the climate we enjoy, we may cite
our section Of the coast as that having
older centenarians than any other"
-"How do you like his voicoP"
asked lady Of critic, as they sat In
q London drawing-room day or two
ago and listened 10 "throaty" tenor.
"Well. l think could bear 1t easier il
he'd take it out and file it little"
was the reply. And the critic was a
little astonished aflcrward to find that
the reason why tho lady interrogated
him no more was that she was the
tenor's wife N. Y Herald
Colonel Bowlegs-"De ath and
furiesl who has been at my meer-
schaumP" Julius (the colored servi-
tor)-"An't seen nobody handlin' it,
SIR" Colonel Bowlegs-'Confound
It'll II seems to be full of debris. 7"
Julius (aiarmed)-''Fore dc Lawd,
kunnel, confess smoked 'em but l
didn't use nothin' but Lone Jack. /
wouldn't put no such stuff as day
bree" in any gcn'leman's ipe."-
PHILADELPHIA CdlL
"A man and his wife once sat down
to compose epitaph's for each other.
The husband, who had led rather an
unquiet life of it, suggested the f"'
lowing for his better half:
Here lies my wife,
And, Heaven knows,
Not less for mine than her repose.
On reading this, the wife jumped up.
j and In fit of evaporation, exclaimed
pats'-7-Np- old thing, you shan't have
"A man recenryl III leave YOU
clothesline, and in the norel1.~halt
his mourning friends ho brightenc
their earthly pilgrimage by saying, 1
the language of fallen chieftain: {
was bound to fight 1t out on this lin
II 1t took all summer" And then, q
he felt for the last timo the gentl
vibration of the muses. wings, n grir
but sancti1ed humor stole over hi
classic features, and dipping his quil
In the ebony fluid he signed himself
cordially yours. "-DaIun Para
orapher.
"A missionary who lad been 4
China said that Chinese thief is tn
most impudent creature on earth, ant
being asked to give some facts to sub
stantiate his assertion. he said: "Th
| NlONh III AllO llil VI NY ullSSlUH TBbl
dence was stolen one night, and tn
next afternoon the thief brought it +
me to show him how to wind it up.
"And did you do itP" asked an audi
tor. NO." answered tho missionary
"but / wound the thief up so thor
oughly that it took him six months il
jail TO run down. IN y Ledger.
Farmer Hopr ,ke-"Fall to, youn;
man, don't bo bashful. Fvc sed grac,
and there ain't nothing else to do bu
eat" Litewaitc-"Beg pardon. bu
the flies and-er-the mosquitoes
hardly give mo timo 10 collect my
thoughts" Hoprake-"The skeeters'
Wall. declare, how pcrlicular some
folks air. l thought you said yor
como down TO the country for {
change. Jemima, pass the salt pork tc
the young man. y philadelphia Call