Omaha daily bee., 1888-04-29
DROPS.

A girl may laugh and a girl may sing,
And a girl may dance all day;
But she can't mount a bicycle like q man,,
For her garments amt made that way.
An Arcola young lady of taste,
Loved a dude who wore bangs made of paste;
She told him his muscle
Would be big as her hustle
If he'd practice at squeezing her waist.
Harlem has a base ball club called 1.-THE
Girls" 1t is doubtless referred to as the
Feminine.
When Mr.. Hamlet remarked, "Eye,
there's the rub" he is supposed to have just
got off a railroad train with q cinder in his
optic.
The Herr Professor-"Donnerwetter,
what is it that that outrageous rumbling in
the street makes-ah-pardon-it is. q beer
wagon"
The Keely motor is developing some fric-
ton in the courts. This is the first
sign of any motion in connection with the
machine.
A German baron is said to have secured a
place as waiter in q New York restaurant. IL
is only natural that he should take to the fod-
der-land.
"Knock-around-and-d o-nothing-all-day
was the name a Kentucky father gave his
son, which the last legislature consented tv
change for him.
A doctor at Virginia, New, who was ar
rested for not reporting cases of smallpox,
WOO W o. ilb'N SAS NeS - " 'SS'@N
for reporting one.
"Keep your eye on Kansas City's building
boom,'' says the Kansas City Times. All
right. But is every Spectator obliged to buy
his w microscopes
According to the ladies' fashion journals,
this is to be a velvet year. But from the
political news we judge it will be more widely
known as q canvass year.
discrepancies in my accountl" repeated
the bank cashier Indignantly, mot a bit of it.
The accounts are all right. to a cent. The
trouble is with the cash."
A prize fighter can get along all right with
a broken arm or leg, but if his Jaw should
happen to be fractured or his tongue cut off
what in the world would become of him?
A Boston scientist says the delightful
Jingle of a kiss is caused by the electricity in
it. That is probably the reason it is so much
more fun to kiss a dynamo than Il pretty girl.
"Did you have any confederates?' inquired
the Judge. "No. iudge,n said the prisoner,
who had pleaded guilty of bank robbery,
''the fellers that helped me was democrats,
o. course, but they wasn't Rebs."
The following order has just been received
at a large wholesale drug establishment:
'Dear Sirs-The baseball wave has struck
this town. Please send mt ten gross of
| Ponds Extract and five boxes of plasters."
The life of a young mar in Reading, Pa,
has been seriously endangered by lead-pois-
oning, contracted by kissing a girls rough
painted cheeks. Had he kissed her lips he
| might have lost his life in an explosion of
natural gas. sf41'
'Do you think, young man, he said, ''that
you will be able TO take care OF my daughter
| Flora in the style to which she has been ac-
customedi ' 81 think so, sir,'' answered the
young man confidently. "She refused to go
TO the concert with me last week, because,
she said, she had nothing to wear"
you say he committed suicide on the in
stallment plan? How's thatl'h "He moved
from Chicago to New York, then to Cincin-
natl, then TO st. Louis, where he took to
drinking beer, then whisky, weut to a 5-cent
| eating house for his meals, and finally became
a cigaret smoker. What else could you call
| it{ D