Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1888-04-19
WORDS OF ADMoNlrloN.

WORDS OF ADMONlrloN.
An Open Letter to the Plain Man Who
DespIses Anectstion.
PLAIN SIB:-I have sincere pity for
your unfortunate case, and would al
leviate your miseries if could. But !
fear you are beyond human help. so
long as you insist upon being plain
where other men are trying to be pol
ished. The rough diamond is no doubt
much Better than piece of chalk; but
in the matter of utility. the chalk is
preferable to it, and as gem. il is not
likely to find as much popularity as its
cut and finished brothers,
Your estate Is the more unhappy that
outwardly you are the very embodi-
ment of content and peace-of-mind,
while inwardly you are as ravening
wolves and as whited sepulcher. You
go through life telling us that your
ways and habits and tastes are good
enough for you; that you do not wish
to be "dude," or to put on airs. or
to be too fine, or to indulge in affecta-
tions of any sort With desires so
moderate and so readily gratifed, one
would think you the happiest of NOR.
tails. Alas, you are not!
For your antipathy to affectation
amounts in itself to an affectatiOn; and
you really are what you most hate to
be-affected.
Gaze into the dim vacuum of your
mind. and tell me if this is not the
truth.
You see another citizen neatly dressed
in the fashion. He has paid attention
to the style and fit and coloring of his
neck-tie. His clothes are cut accord
ing to the latest mode. He has given
thought to his shoes. and he has not
despised his collar and his cuffs.
Well, you call HIM a dude" You
say that you would be found dead be-
fore you would dress like that. Scorn
and loathing are in your tones. You
would have us believe that you look
down on that man from a mighty
height. But in your heart is envy and
jealousy and a wish that you had both
the courage and the knowledge that
would enable you to be like unto that
man. You dccry him only because
you know that if you attempted to do
what he does, you would make dozen
ridiculous mistakes, that might lead
people to laugh at you. You know
that even if you had his outfit, You
could not wear it as easily and natur-
ally as he does. And therefore you
say unto your soul: "Lo, let us cast a
handful of mud at him, for am not a
plain MANI"
1t is this feeling that keeps you in a
state of uneasy antagonism to every
thing that is new in dress or sport or
manners or amusements. They az
onize your plain soul. You nearly
had fit when you saw the first ulster
on Broadway. The Norfolk jacket
was a misery to you. Knee-breeches
except on baseball player
wounded your feelings. A bicycle
stirred your bile; you hurled the re-
proach of effeminacy at the tennis
player. although you probably had not
wind enough in you to play one set
through. Of late you have been
troubled in your mind about the to-
boggan slide-mainly because it intro
duced the blanket suit; and for like
reason the snow-shoe club has grieved
you. And the fancy waistcoat. al
though your father wore it. seems to
harrow your plain feelings. nowadays.
And how you will writhe in pain and
woe when the spring comes and the
game of Hare and Hounds has its sea-
son. And on top of that, the summer
will bring the man in the canoe.
l weep with you over the prospect
of suffering that lies before you. The
world will. go on and learn new
things, and new ways, and win pay
small heed to your plainness. And
the only consolation l have to offer
you is that you have one way out of
your wretchedness-you may, by hard.
unremittent endeavor. learn. in the
course of time, to make yourself
feeble imitation of some of the people
for whom You now express contempt
Perhaps it is worth trying.-G.
Lang, in Puck.