The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1888-08-18

I dreamed of fiat that is near Central park;
And dreamed of myself coming home in the
| dark;
And dreamed of your arms round my neck on
And dreamed of parlor awaiting me there
1t is not like the parlor of Mistress Van V,
But you're there to give me my O'Clock tea.
EnvOi.
The flat is already my Own-will you be
The first-and the last-at my o'clock tea?
Puck
WHY MAUD AND SWORE OFF.
A Lady From Vassar Taught her to Play
Poker and Paid for It.
Somewhere about the ides of the sixth month
of welded felicity in our fiat began to notice
growing restlesSness in Mauds demeanor.-
was at first greatly puzzled to locate the seat
of the disorder, but by degrees l became con-
vinced that it proceeded from depletion of the
pocket book that appeared to be rapidly becom-
ing chronic. Maud was perpetually 'busted." "
She was drawing the usual dividend from my
trousers pocket every Saturday night but it no
longer sufficed for the domestic expenditures.
| could not account for it. True, we were en-
tirely at the mercy of the janitor's boy, who
had formed a trust'' on the errand business,
and charged monopoly prices, but even his ex-
tortions were not sufficient to bankrupt Maud
by Tuesday night every week, and that was
what it was coming to- began to fear black
mail, and was disturbed by all sorts of horrible
visions.
One Wednesday morning. as Maud soliciti-
ously brushed some dust from, my coat collar,
she lnurmured softly: LEND me SIS, Howdy,
and I'll pay you Saturday night"
my DEAR" said /, ''you will have to cut it
down. / have 50 concealed upon my person
and barring car fare that is the size of my
pile"
ooh, Howdy," said Maud, with tears in her
eyes, ''that will buy only one stack
"One what!'' yelled.
For ;in>instant Maud was abashed by her un-
expected disclosure Then she gently grasped
the top button ofniy coat with one hand and
the corresponding buttolhole with the other,
while her eyes were fixed upon my Adams
apple with an intensity that threatened trach-
eotomy. This is her favorite attitude of de-
fense. 1t is very effective because it compeis me
to look over her head and address my remarks
to the atmosphere in general and scattering
fashion.
Zone stack! p. continued Maud addressing
my collar button. That's what she calls it,
You see, Mrs. Brown who lives in the other
flat on this floor, has been teaching me to play
poker. She keeps the bank and sells the chips
Twenty chips make stack"
$50 / have heard"
'She says that 1 must expect to blow in my
dust at the start" continued Maud, "but after
l learn to play as well as she can we are going
to rope you and Mr. Brown into the game and
give you the cold freeze. She says I can get
hunk that way. | don't know exactly what
all this means, but that's the way she says it. !"
"Oh, she says you can get hunk off of Brown
and me, does She" said I. "Well, Pd like to
see you do it. Bring 'em both in tonight, and
I'll show Mrs. b. how to open jack pot"
"Why, Howdy," said Maud, reproachfully.
II didn't know you played poker"
"Well, didn't go through Harvard College
for nothing"
"Nrs. Brown is from Vassar."
"The deuce she is. That makes difference.
You'd better make it next..week. shall want
time to study up on the game.'
During the rest of the week Maud and de-
voted our evenings to practice. l tried to get
points on Mrs. Browns play, while Maud was
occupied in learning a new shuttle that her
friend had acquired among her other universe
ty accomplishments. | had met Mrs. Brown
once or twice in a neighborly way. She was a
handsome brunette of modest demeanor and
intellectual countenance. | had congratulated
Brown several times on his good luck IN win
ming her.
The momentous evening arrived and
brought our guests. The table was cleared and
the cards and chips were ready. The instant
that Mrs. Brown took her seat at the table her
whole demeaner changed She took up the
pack and manipulated it in a way that would
have made hedealer ofa Sixth avenue ''brace"
game turn green with envy. 1t afforded me
but little satisfaction to observe that her sleeves
were tight. She bought two stacks of checks,
lit cigarette and remarked: Gentlemen, the
pie is cut"
"You appear to have some slight familiarity
with the game" said, calmly.
81 was President of the V. S. p. c. A." said
she. "It was supposed to refer to the preven-
ton of cruelty to animals-canary birds, pug
dogs and others pets, you lznow-but in reality
it meant the Vassar Students Poker and Cigar
ette Association But we were always gener-
Gus with the kitty so the name wasn't Who'll
ly deceptive" .I..
The play proceeded. l was banker. Maud
was having big luck. So was Mrs. Brown
Brown and were being put into the hole with
inglorious ease. Maud opened jack pot for
the limit, stood pat and the lady from Vas
sar drew two cards. Brown and | got caught
between them and were raised out"
Maud was wild. She couldn't get her chips
in fast enough. When they were all down she
wanted to continue with the furniture and
bric-a-brac. The lady from Vassar was COOL
but she kept on raising.
"Call her down." whispered to Maud.
mo, sir" said she. 'I'1l bet anything I've
got on this hand, It's sure thing, I'll bet
Gotta dog with a red ribbon round his neck
that Mrs. Brown has in her parlor."
The lady from Vassar blew fragrant cloud
of smoke into the air.
"Pll have to go you," SHE said. 'Show what
you're doing it on"
They were the queen, king, ace, duce and tray
of hearts.
She thought it was straight flush, but it
wasn't. 1t took ten painful minutes to con-
vince her of the fact.
Mrs. Brown showed up jack full, and
reached out after Claude while absent minded
ly murmured:
1--WE lost my doggy;
Who's seen my bow-wow!"
didn't mean to harrow up Maud's feelings
but she took it badly and burst into tears. l
was secretly rejoiced at the loss of Claude
whom hated with righteous indignation.
Suddenly Maud Strengthened up and aSSum-
ed look of stern purpose. We went on with
the game. Maud started out boldly with the
new shuttle and threw the cards all over the
room. We gathered them up and proceeded
Maud began to win again. Then she opened
negotiations for Claude. Mrs. Brown agreed
to sell him back to her for six stacks at 81 a
stack. Every time she won pot she set aside
a stack for Clauds redemption. When she
was out of chips she bought of the bank and
put in her l. 0. U. We played until A. NJ.
and when the final cash up was made one fam
lily had thirteen cents in money and Maud's
I. o. us for $27. But Claude had come back
A long and painful calculation convinced me
that had not only failed to loose him, but
that had actually paid for him and taken my
wife's unindorsed paper for the amount l
was sick at heart. The lady from Vassar lent
her husband five cents for care and put the bal
ance in her pocket.
An hour later Maud sat up in bed with both
hands to her head.
''Oh DEAR" she said II could go to sleep if
that awful clock on the mantel didn't keep
saying tick-tack, Jackpot, tick-tack, Jackpot"
all the time. When close my eyes see four
aces, and when try to bet on them they fade
away into bob-tail flush. Oh-h-h."
Maud said l solemnly, you've get 'em.
I've been there myself. There's only one way
for this family to keep its sanity and its money
We must swear off poker"
"Howdy," said Maud family, 'it's CO."
Lions are more liable than other beasts
to 90 mad They are such mane-iacs,-TittS-