New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-02-27

THE IAN IF IHE DAY.

A gentleman In NInotcenth-st.. in this city, has a
telephone in his library connected by q special wire
with the reading disk of prominent Brooklyn
church lie Is thus enabled 10 hear tho preaching
and worship dstinctly-that is. distinctly as a
Bell telephone Will permit-wthout stepping out
of his comfortable dressing gown and slippers.
And IL tho preacher becomes Too personal, ISN'T
interesting, he take a nap without any being
tho wiser
Chorus OF American newspapers the proposed
fisheries treaty" oh, dear, no, not for Joe; not for
joseph, OH dear, no.
Tho Longcd for Lcitcr-As The last note Of that
touching little ballad "1ho letter that he lOnged
for never cames vibraed on the evening air sho
turned to find tear tricklng slowly down his check
"Ah Mr. samp5on,' sho said sympahetical YOU
"Yes' he replied, husklly. "two years ago very
dear friend OF mine went West on twenty-five dollars
which loaned him, and for anght l know he may
be dead'-(The Epoch
A Connecticut boy retired to tho barn the other
day to practise a defamation, and while he was
pouring forth Hiawatha's impassoned appeal In tho
hay loft his fathers wondering countenanco APP
peared through tho trap-door. "Who are you talk
Ing to, Jacobl' no inquired.
Nobody, pa, I'm speakin.'
81 should think you was You'vc got volce
sharp enough to cut hay IT'S about scared tho lifo
out OF he old red COW. Better stop now and give
her a show Gltcho Manitou tho Mighty, heyl Ghche
Cone Come down out OF that haymow, Jacob, and
when you want to yell again get the oo"hlde and
como to your pa
Their Meanings Clashed-wdower Clnedup (re-
ferrng to cgar-I hope you don't object TO the weed'
Widow sparkles referring to hat-Not in tho least
now but Of you'n give up after we arc mar
And Clucdmp. who has smoked for forty years DO
gan to figure the cost Of a breach of promise suit
Judge.
The farmers who cultivate green goods on their
own farms always como out better than those who
buy them in this city PACKED in shiny black valiso
OF tho bivavc order.
Oriental and OccIdentsl.-Frst ChInaman I'm ma
tive lingo -Gloions reception that gwen by the On'-
Minister at Washington. .
Second Chnaman-Creat man. son or tho sun, 70
spend money 50 lavisbIy and Hospitality.
First Americana hear senator DO Good had a grand
party last night in his new mansion at wa'hn S,on 81.
Second Alncrican-Ehf wonder whore he stoie hs
money.-(Omaha World.
1t Is expected that tho summer resorts Of Maine
Will 10 very successful this season
A phcnomenalIy stingy Mani think that High
five is tho stingiest man ever created"
"IIc was recently sick and fell into a trnnco
His friends supposed he was dead and put him IN
coffin. He returned 70 nfe however"
"Wei now he's brought suit against the under
taker because he won't take the coffin baok'-tiAn"
coin journal.
Tho Democrats of Maine used TO call Neal Dow
"that crazy-hcaled zoalot Of vigorous tongue Now
that he is running for Mayor OF Portland on tho
Democratic ticc they refer to him as the venerable
father OF prohibition
California has volumes In proportion to her
population than any other state In the Union OUT
Side OF New England. She has fifteen times as many
as Alabama, three times as many as Illinois and
City per cent than York Illinois, with
the great metropolis OF Chicago to help her, had In
1855 only library OF over fifty thousand Volumes
against four I'm California California now rs nvc,
and Will soon have OF least seven Pennsylvania,
with FIVE million inhabitants and two cities contain
ipba bifapf bo
had only fve-(San Francisco Examiner.
Captains Of the clghday North Cape excursion
steamers In Norway arc very obliging II tho see
Is rough and the passengers want dinner the boe
Is stopped. II passenger wants to view certain
bit Of scenery, tho boat is stopped or tho course
letraced to the point OF observation desired
Little Pitcher Ito vsltor)-Mrs. Smith, DO you
almost blIndf
Blind Why, what put that idea into your headr
mamma said you couldn't read figures
"Couldn't read hgues1'
Yes; sho said you'd never see forty again.
boston Transcript.