The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-04-25
BRIGHT BITS.

MRs. O'TooLE-Shure, Mrs. Clancy. can you
tell me phwat is meant by hard drinkin'i
Mrs. Clancy-Oim not sh1re but | think It's
sitting on rock and slipping cold water, l
dunno.-IerdS SgtRgS.
IL SOCIETY cIRcLEs-Young doctor 0Insuccess-
tul suitort-i have been to see Miss Goldberg
every day for week
Jones-She must be pretty sick, amt she?
Dung doctor ,dis,usted)-No, but 1 am
washington Critic.
JMPsoS-It's an Internal shame that that fel
low Galley should be worth such fortune
why, the mans positive inlbecie.
Flobson-Well, you know he's the only one OF
his kind, and rare specimens are worth big
inoney.-Toca Topics.
MAMIE-Mamma, can't go over to Kitty's
house and play awhile,
Mamma lhesitatingy)-I don't know dear.
Yes, you can go for just a little while.
Mamie Idemureiy Thank you. mamma, We
been.-Drdke's Magazine.
MY DEAR" said a lady to her husband as she
was looking over the newspaper, what are pre-
ferred credtorss
They are the--the-the creditors who never
send in their bills. Ieastways that's the kind
that prefer. "-London Echo.
ROSE CLEVELAND can't ma Ike up her mind why
woman is not the equal Of man. She knows
there's some catch somewhere but can't find
it. We beg to call her attention to the superior
manner in which man gets over fence or
climbs ladder.--Detrou Free Press.
NAGhANT-bbG IdriuOR, H1uUl. OUT could We
have the kindness TO lend me box of sardines
to open with this can-opener?
Mrs. Oatcake-Sorry ] can't, poor fellow; but
here's a dipper Of water aud tract. | kinder
hate to send the poor away empty handed
Judge.
that the General would send me men of expe-
rience for this expedition-I wanted an officer
TO lead men who have seen Service-I dare say
you never led anything?
Captain--I led the german last summer at
Newport.-Ltfe
HUSBAND lat dinner)--Yes, my dear, we've got
to (hic) begin to economic
Wife, think 50, too, John, and will make
an agreement with you. l will get along with
one pair of gloves each month if you will prom
Use to ride home every night from your Office
NeI0 York Sun.
MAGAZINE EDITOR Ito contributor)-Your ar
ticle, sir, has been accepted and will be paid for
when published.
Contributor (who has had some magazine ex-
perence)-Thanks; but what if l should die in
the course of ten or fifteen yearsf
Magazine editor-ln that case sir the money,
Of course, would be sent to yours heirs-The
Epoch.
THEY were sleighriding "Can you drive with
one hand, Mr.. SampsonY' she asked, and she
asked it very sweetly.
oh, yes he replied, 'but think it looks
better to drive with both"
perhaps it does" she said in cold, con-
vinced tone Of voice, and then added: I'VE
mustn't be gone too long, Mr. Sampson, mamma
will be anxious. n-NeU York Sun.
AN UNLuCKY READING NOTICE "-"Excuse
me. sir, said the business manager to the city
editor, but you promised to print that puff of
Smithers' dry goods store Just as wrote it,
We'll didn't IT,
No, sir 1t wasn't published at all"
did you write one side of the paper only?"
Certainly"
Then guess / must have published the
wrong side Of the manuscript. y Washington
Critic.
PATIENCE EXHAUSTED. vas no right to
trife NIT peoples lives he said to the elevator
boy: wat if dot rope should break?" There
is a safety-rope," politely explained the boy,
in case one should break" VA, but vat If
dot safety rope should break" We'll, even
men ea ne eieHa a wonI9n ta mere Is
peoples lives. Vat if dot brake should give
wayf' The boy eyed him with dsfavor.
"Dutchy me said, you make me tired. Puck.