davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-14

"You amt got a temper" she says,
under her breath, San you amt lost
your place on account of it-an' / think
you've made a mistake an don't want
meat least, l don't see how you can,
anyway"
didn't waste no words. Iknew-my
heart told me the peacefulness was to be
mine-the brown eyes had what I'd lost
in 'em an somethin besides. I jest put
my arms around her in the deep summer
night an held her fast.
Il love you, temper an all, I says,
''wash tub an everything. Don't you
care for me- 'est little?'
"Yes, she whispered back, Gin spite
of my temper
An that's my wife Elizabeth Jane,
that I call "Mother" now, because there 8
an, thcr Elizabeth .'anc in the family.
We live on the old farm, an barrin'
the mis:a that come into all house
keepin' arrangements an have to be
made straight by experience, we've been
as happy as the day is long.
still peddle tin, an sometimes when
I'm ridin' along in the evening l think
O. bein' without the wife an home Pm
goin' to, an by the weight of my heart
I know how much they are to me.
';Bless the wives, all on 'em, but more
particularly bless my wife. ."-P0rtland
TrunScript.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-14
Acting in JaDan.

The Japanese school of acting might
be called natural one, the whole
progress of the play being carried on in
the quiet, even tones of every day.
There is little bombast or rant except in
the classical interludes, wher sserythin g
is as stilted and conventional as possible
Pathos is always deep and long drawn,
and the last tear is wfung from the eyes
of the audience, that responds with han d.
kerchiefs to, the slightest appeal to the
emotional side. Tragedy is very tragic,
and murders more CORY than we would
quite enjoy. Death, on the japanese
stage always results from sword cuts,
and the antics of the fenrers, the won :
derful endurance of the hacked victims
and the streams of red paint. that pour
from all over them before they die arc
rather too much. The audience enjoys
this, however. and they shout, shrek
aud whoop with delight when good
CORY combat goes on. To express greater
approval they throw pieces of their
clothing or any of their yaluel belong
ings on the stage, just as excited young,
ladies at the opera hurl their bouquets at
Patti, and Queens draw OF diamond
rings and bracelets to hand to Nilsson.
A foreigner who saw the rain of coats,
sashes, etc., falling on the stage after a
thrilling scene, tossed his hat over, too.
1t was an old one that he did not care
for. He had a soft cap in his pocket,
and he thought it rather nice thing to
be able to follow the fashion of the
country. At the end of the play the
manager brought his hat to him and
asked for the $lO The enthusiast then
found that all the things tossed to the
star were merely pledges to be after
ward redeemed by money, the actors hav-
ing a regularSchedule, so much for q
coat, kimon ; sash and a pipe, and
corresponding Sims for foreigners hats
and loose articles. The enthusiast sadly
paid his $40 and took back his abused
hat, as the manager only bowed and con-
tinued to hold out in spite of his gener-
Gus protests in wishing the star to keep
it as small souvenir.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-14
A NumiSmatic CuriO.

"Hang it," calculated gentleman
who had dropped 2O-cent piece on his
foot while showing it to New York
Sun reporter the other day. "Thats
enough to make saint swear" And he
sat down upon a chair and proceeded to
nurse the unfortunate pedal.
The gentleman was we'll known coin
collector, and the 20-cent piece was an
old and rare specimen Of the hard cash
used in Sweden years ago 1t was a piece
of cast iron about six inches square and
half an inch thick, and bore a number
of strange figures and hieroglyphics
about as easily transferable to paper as
the diagram ola Western blizzard.
"This piece" said the numismatist, "
is. or rather was when in use, equal to
about twenty cents of our money, and if
YOU wanted to borrow five dollars from a
Swede you would have been obliged to
send your horse and wagon, or at least a
wheelbarrow, after twenty-five of them.
A man in Sweden, when such hard cash
was in vogue, would never be obliged to
tumble in his vest pocket with heavy
pair of gloves, in cold weather, for suf'
fcient change. .
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-14
Durability of Roman Buildings.

A proof of the remarkable durability
of Roman buildings was found in the
resistance offered by the foundations of
the pillars on which the bridge rested
which led from the Roman settlement OF
Maguntia (modern Mainz) over the river
to the right or eastern bank of the Rhine.
There were fourteen stumps of pillars
under the water, resting upon piles sur.
rounded by beds of stone to prevent
undermining by the current. The wood.
work has been destroyed to the depth of
not more than an inch aud a half, and
having been taken out and dried it was
found unusually hard and we'll adapted
to fine furniture. The expense of re-
moving these pillars is SIS, 900, or nearly
81, 100 each, on account of the great
great amout of time and labor that had
10 be spent on them Commercial Ad-
rfTtis p
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-14
A Chinese Silyersmith's Trick.

One of the ablest of British Ministers
| to China, and fine scholar of that
language in his bachelor days, made a
contract witt silversmith at Pekin, by
which the Minister was to furnish
Mexican dollars which the silversmith
was to melt and make into pair of
candelabra, reserving three per cent. of
the silver for his labor. In due time the
candelabra were delivered, and gave
great satisfaction.
Having used them several years, and
being about to return to his native land,
the Minister decided to sell them, and
called in, as it happened, another silver
smith, who, after examining them care
fully, offered two dollars and half for
them. A conversation ensued, in which
the Minister learned that while he had
theoretically put three hundred Mexican
dollars into his candelabra, there was not
an ounce Of sill er in them.
In great rage, at the trick that had
been played upon him, the Minister sent
for the original silversmith, when the
following dialogue took place, it being
understood that it is mark of respect
for a subordinate to repeat words ad-
dressed to him by superior, before
answering them.
The British Minister-"You internal
scoundrel. Didn't I make bargain
with you three years ago to make me
pair of solid silver candelabra. and didn't
furnish you three hundred dollars for
them!"
Chinese Silversmith- You internal
scoundrel! Didn't | make a bssrrggain
with you three years ago -te make me
pair of solid silver Gandelabra, and didn't
] furnish you three hundred dollars for
them2 Yes, Your Excellency."
British Minister" And aren't those
your work, and there isn't an ounce of
silver in them?"
Chinese Silversmith-" aren't
those my work, and there isn't an ounce
of silver in them2 Most true, Your Ex-
cellency."
British Minister -''You bare faced thief,
if before sunset you don't bring me every
dollar 1 gave you, III send you to prison.
Get out of my sight"
Chinese Si!versmith-"You bare faced
thief, if before sunset I don't bring
Your Excellency every dollar Your Ex-
celIency gave me, you will send me to
prison. Quite right, Your Excellency:"
The silversmith bowed and departed.
He returned in half al hour with the
money, which he handed to the minister.
and with many assurances Of his dis
tinguished consideration and best wishes
that the minister might have pleasant
visit home, took his leave.-ToutRs
CoMn1ni ion.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-14
Howto Frichten Drummers.

Friend-"Don't you nave great many
drummers coming in and boring you
with their samples and their talks"
Merchant-"A good many drummers
come IN here, but they don't bore me-"
"Don't they ask you to look at their
samples"
"No."
"Don't they ask you to give them
orders!'
''No; they so right out without say
ing a word.'
''How do you manage to get rid of
thcm2"
ats the Simplest thing in the world.
1 put plug hat and an open gripsack on
the counter every morning. When a
drummer sees these signs of another
drummer being on the premises he goes
off. Every ten minutes in the day a
drummer comes to the door, looks at the
gripsack, and goes away, and 1 am left
in peace. "-RJtirgs.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-14
He Firured GSlt.

"Got q pencilf' asked farmer on the
market yesterday OF citizen. "Now.
then, let's figure bitl"
"What on2"
"Well, come in most every day with
something, and generally start for home
about dusk. One boy in particular up
Grand River avenue has bothered ME a
great deal by 'hitching on The other
night l thought Id give him a lesson.
When he got on I grAbbed his cap"
"And the boy?"
"He sat down on some bags of oats l
hadn't sold and was taking back home,
and didn't seem TO care mu1h about it.
He rode about q mile and then got off
without his cap
"Eut what about the fgures2'
"Tm coming to them. He threw out
six empty bags worth 35 cents each. He
slashed into three bags full of oats with
his knife and let elm run out. He threw
away new tea kettle which cost me 80
cents, and he dropped overheard horse
blanket for which paid 81. Add up
these sums, subtract a two-shilllng
cap and see how much came out ahead. '
Detroit Free Press.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-14

her backyard, busily engaged in stirring
boiling, bubbling mass, in a large
black kettle. He stated his business,
and she said:
81 can't 60 to-day"
"But you must"
whats the hurry"
"Why, courts in session, and the case
is now on trial. They want you b!
noon"
going off and leave this hull kittle o
-aft soap to spile, just to please your old
court? No, STREE"
"Why, my dear madam, you must.
You really don't seem to under
stand"
II understand that I've got big
kittle O. splendid soap grease on to bile,
and it'll make thin, sticky soap, if il
amt finished to-day. You 60 back and
tell the ledge So"
"You'll be fined for"
"Pooh! I'd like to see the Missoury
jury that'd fine woman for not lcaven
her soap.bi!in' when it was at a critical
pint, as one might say. Tell the ledge
III come tomorrow, if we don't butcher
our pegs then: an if we do, I'll come
some day next week."
"But tell you that won't do. You
must come now"
"Lookee, young man, you think I'm
foo!2 reckon you never made any
soap, did you9 If you had you'd kno"
that"
"What does the jedge care about your
soap2'
"Well, what do care bout the jedge,
if it comes to thatl Laws law and soaps
soap. Let the jedge tend to his law,
an I'll tend to my soap. The good book
says there's q time for everything, an
this is my time for bar'l O. saft soap"
"Weli, madam, if you want to be
fined for contempt of court, all right.
YOU will be fined sure as"
"Bah! I know all bout the law, an
there amt anything in it, nor in the
Constitution of the United States, mol
in the Declaration of Independence, mol
in nothin' else, that says woman's go
to leave kittle O. half-cooked soap, and
60 off to court, when she amt mind
to. I guess I know little law my
self. ."-1Hd-Bi'
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-14
Confession Good for the Soul.

He holding skein of worsted while
she winds}-"Do you notice how my
hand trembles, Miss Julia"
She (shyly)--''Yes, Mr. Sampson"
He-"And cannot you divine the
cause:"
She (shyness increasing)-"N-no, Mr..
Sampson"
He-"AIiss Julia, Ihavc confession to
make. Will you hear it!'
She (shyness becomes painful as she
anticipates a proposaD-'If you like, Mr..
Sampson"
He-"I was out with some of the boys
last night, and it was 2 o'clock when I
reached home.'- S;Hings.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-14
A Successful Merchants Acrostic.

A-stands for Action, which makes business
move.
D-for the Dash, which ne'er gets i'll a
groove;
W stands for Vim, which eer leads to suc-
cess,
E--for the Energy hustlers possess;
R-stands for Reason. to which good sense
yields,
T-stands for type, which the worldsscepter
wields;
Islands for Industry, handmade of thrift,
S-for the Sales which don't come as a
gift;
I-standS for Incidence, man greatest curse,
N-for Nothing in Lazybones' purse;
G-stands for Gold, which you all want to
get;
P-stands for Patience, which bids you not
fret,
A--for Advice that you keep out OF debt:
Y-stands for You, sir, whom thus | ad-
wise,
S-for Success, if you but advertise.
-Columbus Dispatch.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-14
Flowing in California.

Southern California Agent-"Tiere,
sir, look over into that field. Did you ever
see man plow so easily as that2"
Eastern Farmer-'By gum: The
plow does seem to 60 easy, don't it? The
man seems to enjoy it."
eyes, sir; keeps jumping and dancing
along like O boy; Just see his heels fly "
"Looks god d >al Ikea jig, must
say"
Little Boy (native)-"Pop amt dancin' 4;
he's tryin' ter keep outen the way O. the
tarantulas an rattlesnakes wot he turns
"-On.aha World.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-14
THE CURRENT OF THE YEAR.

laing, to-day, the mystic stream
That curves it's way through arches twelve,
With crystal waves that dance and gleam
As in their path they leap or delve;
And ceaseless creeps its onward way,
In steady course unvexed and clear,
To far eternity's wide bay
The circling current Of the year.
Il winds at first through verdant plains,
Where blue-birds shout their songs Of glee,
Where robins pipe their joyful strains,
And laughs the fountain free.
It moistens banks of budding flowers
That to its life-brimmed border cling;
It's spray supports the lmpid showers
That gem the flushing land Of spring.
Then drowsy slips its laggard pace
Like streams that glide through tropic
climes;
Hot airs lie pulsing on its face;
Its ripples beat but languid rhymes.
Here not a flower has deftly leaned
Its petals DER the surface fair,
For blossoms lie meath broad fronds
screened
From summers throbbing waste OF air.
Next lands of golden tinted days,
Where reapers crowned with harvest
throng
The fields that he in purple haze,
And fill the wales with blitheSt song;
The miSts that fall DER painted trees,
The amber streamers of the corn,
Tho frt,it itoo tha prtSDfor hraaza
Rich autumn'slovely leagues adorn.
At last approach the darksome skies
That icy blasts surge mady DER;
The landscape dons solnber guise,
As if it had all JOY foreswore.
A downy sheet fills every view,
On bleak lone hills and level glade;
Bedecked are plain and avenue
In winters snowy masquerade.
Thus back to spring the strong waves sweep.
Once more to track the seasons round;
Here, waking from the years dull sleep,
The earth's dead forms to life shall bound
Wierd stream, our lives with thee are
borne,
With thee through all thy long career.
By thy long banks we joy or mourn,
Thou circling current of the year.
&C. M Haryer.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-14
A Degenerate Son.

Old Cresus-"T I'm disgusted
with you. How could you be such an
ass as to get caught in defalcation!"
Tom-''I'm very sorry, sir. I thought
1 would be able to adjust matters before
the crash came"
Old Cresus-'Bah! How do you sup
pose I would be able to give bail for you
to-day. if / hadn't been more discreet in
my time, about matters of this sort? But
there, my boy; live and learn, live and
learn r'-IId- Bits.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-14
Leap Year Proposal.

"Leap year is great suap, isn't it," re-
marked Snobkins.
"Just why2" qucried Smith.
IA girl proposed to me last night"
"No, you don't sayl"
"Yes, and accepted
"Worse and more of it. How did it
happen
s'Simplest thing in the world. She
proposed to me to leave the house or she
would call her father, and 1 left. That
was all."- Washington Critic.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-14
E. E.plained.

Wife-"What is meant, John, by the
phrase carrying Goals to Newcastlen'
Husband-"It is metaphor, MY dear,
showing the doing of something that is
unnecessarily
Wife-'I don't exactly understand.
Give me an illustration, familiar one. "
Husband-"Well, if 1 was to bring
you home a book entitled: How to
Talk that would be carrying Goals to
Newcastle. ."-BJston Courier.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-14
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
Understood Feminine Nature -
Poor Blind Mana Valuable
Animal for Sale-A Degen-
crate Son-Etc., Etc.

Photographer Ito sitter)-'T saw you
at Church last Sunday, Miss Smith"
Sitter-"Oh, did you?"
"Yes, and your friend Miss Brown
if you could raise your chin tribe,
thanks-and what an atrocous looking
hat size had on. (After pause.) There,
Miss Smith, it is over, and think We
have caught very pleasant expression.
-New York Sun.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-14
To Next Year,

O louged-for of my weary soul, Next Year.
q year when bachelors secure may rest!
Would could sleep, and wake to find you
Then peace would live again within my
breast
Tn his own hands again, in Eighty nine.
Will each man hold his matrimonial fate,
And girls who fain would wed must then 10
sign ,,
The privilege they held IN Eighty .efghk g
don't complain that any have espired .ssS'
Mt.happy unSsSd freedom 10 AbAta3 81. &
N(6atx hap -sslr ifoadesZ Rqf tired
ZIn5EE E6tysane tts5A II is Ht q data :?
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-14
A Valuable Animal for Sale.

A Valuable Animal for Sale.
"Grigsby, let me sell you dog"
"What sort of beast is he2"
ga watch dog"
"Good one, is he3"
"I should say so."
"strange2"
eyes"
"Why do you want to sell him"
81 can't get in the house when he's
around. ."-NeJ7uska State Jouradl.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-14
A Poor Blind Man.

Col. Hamilton Milton is celebrated at
Austin, Texas, as being able to eat more
without rest than any other two men
in the city. Of late his eyesight has be
come affected. Gilhooly asked him the
other day if he experienced any serious
inconvenience.
IL should say I did. I can't read the
bill of fare like I used to. Yesterday
overlooked two kinds of soup and
slipped up on the custard pie. I can
ne er tell now when am through with
dinner ."--Sy1ings.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1888-03-14
Soon va Law.

A Missouri constable ra.le out to .
farm near St. Joe armed wiRha subpoena
for a-woman a who was wanted as wit
ness in q case in court. He found her in
, 1888-10-20
Conference of Fruit Growers.

A paper on the packing, carriage,
and marketing of fruits by Nj.
Weber, of Covent- garden, was
read, which stated that there were
three golden rules to be observed in
sending fruit to market-first, neve
to send it too ripe ; second, never, if
possible, TO send it for Saturdays
market, as the retailer invariably pro-
vided himself beforehand with what
he required and, third, that all fruit
should be sorted into bests and
seconds, and in some cases into thirds,
as there were always buyers of bests
and buyers of seconds and thirds, but
seldom buyers of mixed. After stat
ing the best way of packing the
various fruits, the paper concluded by
saying that the rates for carringe
were very unsatisfactory, little or no
inducement being held out by the
great carriers for the development of
produce on a small scale.-Ibid.
, 1888-10-20
The Beet S ugar Industry
OfGermany.

Tn = vacant ronor+ tho Un;toJ States
Consul ~ Coloonp states that cu1Iiva-
ton If the xnoar-hpet IN Germany
was Voluntarily limited in 1898 in
order to raise the n.ira which had
FaIIon 80 low tbat the nroducors conld
scarcely make anv nroft, Tn 1886
tka IRON WINS a0aio increased and AL
,honrb tho harvest WAS nnt Iaroe
thare was never a wear when the
hats v,aldnd 60 mncb sngar Dur,no
the last two Years the improvements
n ,ha mannfartnrr Of beet smear were
mainly in the direction Of simnlvilv-
;ur the san,rot;on and nurifvino pro.
cocs 81 also IN The sav;no Of material
and work Thpra are five different
nrocasxAS If nrenarino suoar from
mnlassos-thn osmosn which Is IN
nee n nv far tho greater numher Of
~fnc,orios. clinton which j. us4d in
.nma 1T the ~Iarons, ~factori4s sobst;-
tnt;on sannra,iun and strontium nro-
crss4s H. 1867 there were 4O1
c~ctorios IN ill., cprnan Fmnire Of
which 3o7 nv,rnctrd the inIrp Inv the
diffusion nrncass In All 83O167
tons of meats were worked during the
v4ar and i, rbn same p4riod Ger.
-, roo
, 1888-10-20
LorOklama.

ALE og Fnhver der MATTE have
"a Noget at fordre paa Boet efter
afgangne ROBERT BARTLETT
indkaldes herved til at anmelde o.
bevisliggj6re deres Krav for under,
tegnede Skifteret linden Udl0bet af 3
Maaneder efter denne Indkaldelses
sidste Acknowledgements.
Frederiksteds Skifteret, st. Croix den
12te October 1888.
r. PETERSEN.
, 1888-10-20
NOTICE..

TTHE owner Of a bay Mare, with
2 Foals, taken up here in Chris
tIansted some nights ago, and i'm
pounded in tie Stable Yard at the
Fort, can have same by paying the
expenses incurred, and ifnot redeem
ed within II days from date, they
will be sold.
C~hl.%tiansted's Police Office, 10th Octo.
Der 1858.
MAXEN.
Fort Worth weekly gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1888-11-09
TIE ELECTION.

rhe Votes Po,lsd IN the County in 1886 ana
Who Got 2hem.
Il will &c interesting to the voters CT
Tsrrant county to have before them the
figures for the election n 1885, when the
Democratic ticket had opposed
10 1t the Peoples ticket, or what
Ia this election will be the Nm Partisan
ticket. The total vote pol.ed in 1856 WAS
COOL, OF this GCm5er 1876 we're csst in
tee city Erd SS2j In the country. No can
1iiate from Governor Gown polle6 the {Ull
vote ssowiag that Tagrsut county has
sbou. 900 voters who know now 20 use .
pencil.
It is claimed That the Democratic nom
iBees are several hBndfsd yores stronger
N the country thsu Two years ego, but
h3W they s.sad in the city 10 q deoat.ble
Question, The n Jn-PAstissus cay Fort
WORTH Will poll g larger yo.s tnan ever
before, and a number of Democrats egree
70 this proposition. Who Will be bene-
ftcd 3y the increased votof
THE FIGURES.
Following is the total vote received in
Tarrsnt county by the respective csrdi-
dates Dsmsd below op November 2, 1896:
Incorporates, 1896; Cochran, zoos;
pt honey l244,
+ ConsSssmsr-Abbott, 1855; KIRBY,
Less..ussA-Fipger, al6s; Newton,
Sfs5. s3ss
TIE following table shows the vote re-
ceived by each candidate In the city OF
Fort Worth and in the country outside Of
the city:
Fort Worth weekly gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1888-11-09
A Separations Bal Player.
Chicago Inter Ocsan

A gentleman privileged TO occupy O
seat ca the players bench dltiag 8 rssen,
game between me Jersey City and Sasn.
ton clubs, sE she former city, WAS a Nit.
ness 20 the incident which, It is Ms
belief, IVES never nsce public, and also
that IL is the cnly hobby OF the Eind ever
INDUCED In Cy player. Shortly before
lit became time for the genial
Pat Ffiel 70 tske his tarn q,
the bst he took up his stick, pa:ted it 81.
fectio Bstely, ana then struck 1t two OF
thres times with his znuckles, IS il rap
Ping for admission at C door, following
this up By placing his ee- against the bat
as /. listening for reply. 1t apparently
came in few seconds, ard he began
taking 3 10 telephone.
"Heuo, Hello! Well, Whist is ~"
Another imaginary reply followed, this
one apparently being SO to nis identity,
when ne again BROKE cut:
Eyes, this Is NE, Pat Eriel. One? o.
no shaking his heSd doabituliy); two:
Yes, hats all right; good bye" and be
stepped to the plate and made . corkine
tWc"5aggeT TO left. The listener Wat
much amused by this Reidert, and site,
the gs ne took occasion to ask one Of tbs
jersey City team, who IS q crest isvoriss
in Few York, what no meant.
"Oi," ssid he, nthaS Is 9 common oc
cGErence. It is great HOBBY OF Ps;'s
he communes with IA bat regularly, snd
no one csp make hixSslieye that hs doe:
not get inspire I6ASsnd batting sbil!tj
,tfNn its counsss