Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-01-26
BILL NYE.s BARBER:

Misfortune Encountered In an Attempt To-
Have His One Hair Trimmed.
To-day l got shaved at a barber-shop. {
where l begged the operator to kill me
and put me out of my misery.
l have been accustomed to gentle.
care and thoughtfulness at home. and
my barber handles me with the utmost
tenderness. 1 was. therefore, poorly
prepared to meet the man who this
morning filed my soul with woe.
know that have not deserved this,
for while others have berated the poor
barber and swore about his bad breath
and never-ending chatter and his gen.
eral heartlessness, l have never Said.
any thing that was not filled with child
like trust and hearty goodwill towards
him.
have called the attention of the
public to the fact that sometimes Gus
toners had bad breath and were rest
less and mean, while being operated
on, and then when they are all fixed up
nicely they put their hats on and light
cigar and hold up their finger to the
weary barber and tell him that they
will see him more subsequently.
NUM- hOMShCEs 1CCl
This barber, no doubt, had never
heard of me. He thought 1 WAS an
ordinary plug who didn't know any
thing about luxury.
shall mark copy of this paper
and send it to him. Then while he is
! reading it will step up behind him
with pick handle and kill him. L
want him to be reading this when
kill him, because it will assist the cor
oner in arriving at the immediate
cause of his death.
The first Whit I took of this mans
breath I knew that he was runs
maniac.
He had the Jim James in an advanced
stage. Now, 1 don't object to be-
ing shaved by barber who is socially
drunk, but when the mad glitter of
the maniac is in his eye and when
can see that he is debating the ques-
ton of whether he will cut my head
off and let it drop over the back of the
chair or choke me TO death with
leather brush, it makes me nervous
and fidgetty. He honed his razor on
his breath, in fact.
4hlS man Hlst1lc up his Inllu LllTcS
times that he would kill me, and some
one came in just in time TO save me.
His chair was near the window, and
there was a hole in the blind, so that
when he was shaving the off side of my
face he would turn my head up in such
position that 1 could look up into
the middle of the sun. My attention
had never before been called to the
appearance of the sun rs it looked
to the naked eye, and l WAS a good
deal surprised.
The more l looked into the center Of
the great orb of day the more L was
filled with wonder at the might and
power that could create it. l began to
pine for death Immediately. so that L
conld be far away among the heavenly
bodies, and in a land where no barber
with the delirium triangles can ever
enter.
] The barber held my head down SO
that the sun could shine into my dark
ened understanding. until l felt that
my brain had melted and was floating
around and washing about in my skull
like warm butter.
His hand was very unsteady, too.
lost faith in him on the start, when he
cut off n mole under my chin and threw
it in the cuspidore. 1 did not care
especially for the mole. and did not
need it much. but at the same time q
had not decided to take it off till tho
weather got warmer. In fact, had
worn it SO long that 1 had becom at
tached TO it. 1t had also become at
tached to me. This is why could not
restrain my tears when the barber cat
it of, and then stepped back to the
other end of the room to see how L
looked without it.-BuL Nye ut large, in
! N. T. World.