New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-08-05
A PECULIAR BUGGY.
BOUND TO GO UP HILL ALL THE TIME
THE Low.DowN TRICK THEY PLAYED ON MIN
NEsoTA JOURNALIST.

q train from Winnipeg, In the Queens Domihons' I"
Dakota 1t was freight train Of forty or NIFTY empty
boxcars with q red csboose the back end for tho
few passengers. The engineer was Wild, reckless
fellow who bad think, been drinking, and sometimes
he spurted the train up between nine and ten miles
per hour. The time table called for only SIX out
this daredevil made 1t average fully seven lie ddHt
altogether forget those things which were oehind and
press forward however, because once between siding
No 4s and Big Portage he happened to drop his pipe
out of his mouth while he had his head out OF tho
cab window and actually stopped and backed that long
train for fully three quarters OF mile looking Tor IT,
| The conductor and brakemen hung on the steps OF
the caboose and helped In the search. put my mead
out OF tho caboose window anti looked TOO, picunng
a great white meerschaum pipe lying on the ground
like block OF sea foam, with Just rich autumn am
Der tint on the bowl when the conductor picked IL
up ! noticed that IL clay and had stem Two
hchcs long. The engineer when he took It admitted
It wasn't worth much but he said IT was one that
Billy Higgins Of Q'Appellc, had given him, ana no
didn't want to lose IT, lie started to tell how Biny
happened to make him the present but the conductor
said that he had promised his wife to BIO home early
that night and reckoned we had better shack along
So the engineer went forward and we shscked
went back and climbed up into the pilot house,
of the caboosc where had secured seat by bibing
one Of the brakemcn with noxous cigar. This
gavo fine view Of the country. You could see
fifteen miles 10 any Of the th.rtytwo points OF the
compass,-pcrhaps further. The country was as nat
as Congressional debate-It was In the Valley OF mo
Red River Of the North. long ianK
man with thin hair and hollow cheeks came
and climbed up in the cupola with me and helped me
abuse the scenery. He had a wandering eye and ao-
sracted air aud said he had been up to Winnipeg to
sell real estate and was now as he expressed IT,
on his way back Gods country Most Of the various
articles of clothing he wore were too largo for him,
though some too small He INDUCED in great
bites OF dark, forhddtng- looking tobacco and had
solemn, haf-dejectcd expression.
Colonel he said, with infection which told that
he addressed every he met By that ttle Colonel
what shall do to pass away the hmel never play
keerds with strangers on train,' he added with, IL
seemed to me, unnecessary haste
| l didn't know Of anything to do, except abuse the
country.
81 know what" he went on let's each one Of us
| tell a story
AL right I replied.
"Is go them" he said; " what's your story 'bout'"
"My story is about a man, replied unbushingly,
| " who owned that had only one horn, and that
wasn't much of horn you know. IT'S mostly about
the cow added desperately, wondering what could
possibly tell about COW that had only one horn and
that not really all a horn should be.
sounds frst-rate,7 he replied. Bet two dollars
m half It III be laundering good story. Mine is
only Jess bout teller that took his girl to shindig
Jess scrub ev'ry day story. Blaze away with your
COW yarn"
Couldn't think Of It, SIR couldn't think of 1t for
moment You go ahead frst-I want to hear all about
| the feller who took his girl to the shlndg.r
"wcl,7 he replied slowly, and thought he looked
| even moro solemn than before, all rght-rn do IT
though I'm somewhat anxious to know about that COW.
Which horn II that gone mo matter though
III know when you tell It. The teller was speaking
Of come down to little town where ulster live. in
nd afar tad
weak paper and he was cussed fool He was little
and had red eyes, and went around with his head
up like balky COW with board over her face and
! he didn't know nothing anyhow. lie dldt know how
| TO run 1--we newspaper built a new henhouse-one
that jess made the hens open their mouths ADD cackc
when they it-but he never said word about It
in his paper. lie didn't seem 10 have the ability to
| discuss public questions like this at all
"wen, one night there was shindig out Of town
about a mile, at Old Man Plummer's place. 1t was
big un-they had three fdders an the organ they bor
rowed from the Methodist Church. OF course this zero
Charlie Rgglcs-that his name-ths ERE editor-of
course Charlie must go. He couldn't see henhouse,
| but he could shndg. He bowed about 1t in his
| paper beforehand too, and called It hop, which
predjerdiced some agin It too, II he had only knowed
| t. Well, he went ont some SIX or seven miles on
Gopher Perare and got Old Hoss Perkins, darter to
take to this hop, as he called IT, She want caller,
sckly specmenshe could precerate the good pints OF
henhouse fur she could see II. They got
to the Old Mans bout dark, Jess the head fiddler
was tuning up.
! "wen the night wore on, which remark once read.
and every thing was all o. K. The danctn' was KEEP
UP lively an everybody had good time. Charlie, the
Teller Pm atalkn' bout, brought the girl to the blow
out in one o. these ERE onehoss buggies that has
powerful small wheels in front an powerful big uns
behind. Well, long bout midnight, mebby little
past whom ft was dark as a string o. black CATS bout
twelve mebby past, don't know exactly. some
o. the boys went out to this ere buggy kinder, an
sorter walked around 1t, an hefted 1t, an talked
little an said 1t looked like rain. an sized up the
| buggy, an by-an'by sorter somehow changed
the wheels on the blamed thng-put tho be-
hind ones for'ard an the for'ard ones behind,
You sec. Tho boys done 1t, you know, for
sort OF joke I reckon. Mebby they wanted
70 see II a what couldn't see a henho,se would
catch onto a buggy with its front rared up n the
air like treadmil II made powerful funny ookin'
buggy Of it-'peared to be built some like buferlo-
high in front an low behind. / never seen such
high shouldcred buggy before nor since 1t looked
SIT It had its forard feet upn the manger reachIn'
over into the Oat bin.
well, the night wore more, till o'clock,
when Charlie, this ERE youth what thought he could
run paper said he guessed they better 20 home So
he htched up, an Old HOSES darter put on her dry
goods-her wraps an fXin's-an' went out an got in
the buggy with Charlie Still darks the inside OF
cow-no moon for month, an the stars
all clouded under. There's something wrong with
this ere buggy says Old HOSES girl NO,
nothn' the matter says Charlie we're Jess gon' up
hfl that's ALL an then they both leaned for'ard to
keep from fallln' backards.
"The girl still thought there was somethin' out O.
whack with the conveyance an said she allowed she'd
have TO tie faron tc her feet TO keep from gon' out
behind Don't git accted, says Charlie. we'se Jess
| tn old lad So
GIN along naggin along slow like an Charlie let the
boss stop an evry little ways, cause he said It
must be powerful hard work to draw up such steep
hill. So they KEEP pokln' long. pokln' long. an
Charlie lowed to git walk II the hill got much
sleeper they leaned or'ars. an part o. the time
hung onto the dashbosr with their hands II they did
strike little HILL an KEEP snan' long. snan' long
A rnod deal ~ time they sfnnned let the hos