The Irish standard., 1888-09-08
ARTIFICIAL FREAKS.
How and Where Mummies and
Mermaids Are Made.
An Old show-Man Gives the Snap Away
and Tells About the F2kes-The Finest
Artist In the World I'm the Manu-
facta,re of Curiosities.

It was our old friend, the show-man-the
only survivor OK A. Ward, Esq, truthful as
the needle to the pole, writes New York
Graphtc man. He lisa queer duck, is this
friend of ours, the old Snowman, with rare
eye for seeing the curious and the unique,
with 8 strong fancy, with cosmopolitan
instinct and with q sense of the charm Of
successful humbuggery, He believes with
the idol of the show world-the venerable
sage of Bridgeport-that the public likes to
be humbugged. A good square, snap side
show attracts him as drop OF sugar at
tracts flies. He is never SO happy as when,
with his shiny tall hat on the back OF his
head, and with his keen eyes dancing in the
excitement of the hour, he is aloft on the
box of the side-show in front of the circle of
pictures of the Circassian woman, and the
fat woman and the line Of freaks, Grating q
crowd Of believers on the wonders OF his
show inside the canvas.
s'The Snowman" quoth he, ssrises early
and rerires late. know him. know all
about him. He puts all his nerve, strength,
vigor and brains into the business. The
Snowman is usually a Snowman because he
couldn't be any thing else if he had every
opportunity in the world. He'd rather be q
Snowman and have to go to bed while his
only shirt was being washed than be bank
cashier rolling in somebody else's millions.
ssWeli, sir, since I'm talking on the fake, did
you know that the finest artist in the world
in the manufacture Of freaks and curiosi-
ties is an Alaskan? It's fact. 1 was sur
prised myself, for always supposed that he
would be Yankee. He was away when we
called, but his assistant was there. They
were making Egyptian mummies that day,
full line Of them for museum in Pans.
They are made OF plaster of Paris and boiled
in tobacco Juice, and they are summers
when they are done. 1t Is a curious yarn
how the reporters got On to his place. He
occupies plaqc under the roof and dries
his curiosities on the fat roof in the sun.
The elevated railroad pushes along over the
city here, and some travellers by the morn
ing train saw a curious sight out on one OF
the roofs. It looked like a collection of dead
bodies drying in the sun, and a conglomera~
tion of hideous monstrosities and blood
curdling freaks OF nature OF course some
pody investigated it, and as result the
birthplace of the freak was found.
II wish I could give you that Alaskan's
name, but can't. It's sumner in length,
and he is an artist of as distinguished talents
as his name is long. He made the man-ox
where. He drew the skin over the ribs SO
adroitly that there seemed to be absolutely
no fault in it, and it puzzled the scientists
as well as the common people. There are
two or three other freak-1nakers in the
Bowery that we called on, but there are no
others that approach this fellow He is q
iim-dandy, and no mistake. A mermaid is
nothing at all for him. He can draw a
chickens skin over the skeleton as handily
as you draw on your glove, and no man can
swear that it is artificial
care none of these freaks genuine2"
"M,ghty few that know any thing about
are very genuine. Most Of this man-ox,
man-horse, mermaid, sea serpent, Egyptian
mummy. royal anatomical marine museum
stuff is manufactured. OF course, there are
some freaks Of nature in the way Of mon
strosities that are genuine. The India rub
Der man is q freak Of nature, and was in
to see the centanr Of a nan-horse at the
dime museum. That's genuine if you like
it. It's coon with his legs twisted out of
shape. The poor cuss was marked in birth
and can't walk upright-a dead give-away
of fake that Cont excite any particular
interest Australian children are idiots.
Circassian women can be made with ease
and CELEBRITY. Bearded women can be found
anywhere. The country is full Of Albinos,
and if it were not they can be manufactured
to order at any time.
EDO you remember that sea serpent that
we exhibited year or two ago? 1t was
twenty OF thirty feet long, and was the
queerest looking thing ever saw. 1t had big
chunks Of bone on the side Of it, and had
mouth big enough to take in long boat.
Well, this Alaskan made that How did he
make it2 Blamed il know. He's ahead Of
me on that. It was good job. He made g
sea serpent lately, and ran across it at
Exeter. One of the professors at Phillips
Academy went in and looked it over. He
said he had doubts about it's being genuine.
CHA! Ha! Well, don't blame him.
had my doubts, too, but they were based on
different foundation, the difference be-
tween theory and fact, you see. The owner
of the show had a mighty good lecture to
go with his museum. He had one or two
mermaids, and one Of them he considered q
particularly valuable specimen. He never
failed in the course OF his address to re-
late that this was positively the only mer-
maid ever captured alive. He said that she
seemed to mourn Tor her home at the bot
tom of the sea, and to continually utter
plaintive cries and sung in mournful,
heart breaking key. They fed her every
thing in the line of fresh fish, but she pined
away and died, and thus ended the exist
ence of the only mermaid ever captured
alive.
ssThe doctor had bang-up show on tho
outside. His pictures were very gorgeous
and true to fact In frontof his mermaid he