The Evening post. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1888-1889, 1888-12-12
MR.. PEPPERS WIFE.

preston that it is high time you were
getting breakfast. AS my former house.
keeper understood all my wishes in re.
gard to these things, found it unneces-
sary to give any orders respecting them;
but with you tits different. AS you have
never got meal in this house, of course
you know nothing of the regulations of
the household.
I'm the first place, you will make a
fire in the kitchen, put on the kettle, &c.
then you will make a fire in here. That
done, you will cook the breakfast and
bring it in here, as l have always been
accustomed to taking mine in bed, and
do not consider it necessary to depart
from that custom on your account; but
should you prefer it, you can eat yours
in the Kitchen, as 1t is perfectly imma-
terial to me-
This occurred the morning after Mrs.
Pepper went to housekeeping. Mrs.
Pepper was a sensible woman--she made
no reply to Mr. Peppers commands. but
as soon as her toilet was finished she left
the room, and sitting down in the kitchen
she thus ruminated:
Make the kitchen fifel Yes, I'll do
that. Then make fire in the bedroom!
I'll see to that, too. Then take the break
fast to his bedsidel Just see If / dor
And then Mrs. Pepper sat and thought
deeply for few minutes, when, ap-
parently having arrived at satisfactory
conclusion, she proceeded to business.
Having got nice fire kindled in the
kitchen she carried some coal into Mr..
P.'s apartment and filled up his stove,
having first ascertained that there was
not spark of fire in it. That duty per-
formed, she next prepared the breakfast,
of which she partook with great relish,
and after matters and things were all set
to rights in the kitchen she went down
town on q shopping excursion.
Meanwhile Mr.. Pepper began to grow
impatient. He 'labored under the i'm
preston" that the atmosphere of his
room did not grow warm very fast, and
he began to feel unpleasantly hungry
Peeping out from behind the bed cur
tains, he saw how affairs were with re-
gard to the stove. Something like a sus-
picion of the real state of affairs began to
dawn on his mind. He listened for a
few minutes, but all was still about the
house.
Hastily dressing himself he proceeded
to investigate the affair. He soon COM
pretended the whole of it, and was very
wrathful at first; but he comforted him
self with the reflection that he had the
power to punish Mrs. p, and he felt
bound to do it, too After some search
he found the remains of the breakfast, of
which he partook with gusto, and then
he sat down TO wait for Mrs. p. She was
long time coming, and he had ample
time to nurse his wrath. While sitting
there he thus soliloquized:
''That ever /, Philander Pepper, should
be so treated, and by woman, too, is
not to be believed. / can't believe it;
no, nor won't, either. But she shan't
escape. that's certain; If she should my
reputation for dignity would be forever
gone; for haven't told Solomon Simple
ton all along how was going to make
my wife stand around, and how | was
going to make her get up and make the
fire every morning and let me lie abed,
and how / was going to shut her up and
feed her on bread and water if she dared
to say she wouldn't do it,"
"a cosy little arrangement, Mr.. Pep
per-" said soft voice behind him. Mr..
p. started up, and there stood Mrs. P.
right behind his chair laughing just as
hard as she could. Mr.. Pepper put on a
severe look
"Sit down in that chair, madam" he
said, pointing to the one he just vacated,
while have little conversation with
you.
Now, should be pleased to know
why you did not obey my orders this
morning, and where you have been all
the forenoon?"
where have been all this forenoon,
Mr.. Pepper, have not the least objec-
ton to tell you; have been down town
doing little shopping. have pur-
chased some lovely napkins; just look
at them" said she, holding them up de-
murely for his inspection; 81 only paid a
dollar apiece for them-extremely cheap,
don't you think so?'' she added.
Mr.. Pepper was astonished; how she
dared to turn the conversation in this
way was mystery to him. Suddenly
his bottled wrath broke loose. Turning
tiercely upon her he said.
Betsy Jane, you disgust me; you
seem to make very light of this matter;
but 1t is more serious than you imagine,
as you will find to your cost presently.
If you do not instantly beg my pardon
in a submissive manner. | shall exert
my authority to bring you to proper
sense of your misconduct by imprisoning
you in one of my chambers until you are
willing to promise strict obedience to my
wishes"
AT the close of this very eloquent and
dignified speech, Mr.. Pepper drew him
self up to his full height and stationed
himself before Mrs. p, ready to receive
expressions of sorrow and penitence; he
had no doubt that she would fall down
at his feet and say:
"Dear Philander, won't you please
forgive me this time, and I'll never do so
any morel"
And he was going to say, "Betsy
Jane, you'd better not" but instead Of
doing all this, what do you think he did,
Laughed him right in the facet
MIR. Pepper was awful wrathy. lie
spoke up in voice of thunder, and
said
"Mrs. Pepper, walk right up stairs this
very minute, and don't let the grass grow
under your feet while you are going,
neither You have begun your antics in
good season, Mrs. Pepper, but I'll have
you to know that it won't pay for you To
continue them for any length OF time
with me, Mrs. Pepper. Again command
you to walk up stairs"
"Well, really, Mr.. p, IL is not at all
necessary for you to speak so loud-I am
not so deaf as all that comes to; but as
for walking upstairs have not the least
objection to doing so, If you will wait un-
I'll have recovered from my fatigue; but
] can't think of doing so before"
But you must, Mrs. p.
"Jhen all I've got TO say is this, YOU II
have to carry me, for ] won't walk
Mr. p. looked at his wife for moment
with tho greatest establishment; but as
aha ho0au IN 1auUb Mt him amin Ia