The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1888-01-24
SAPHIR'S JOKES.
Old Humor and New.

ltanAhtcd from the herman by j. ". renewal
Requested to define the word dentist"
Saphir said: "He is man who pulls out
other peoples teeth to get something for
his own 10 bite"
A narrow-minded man was Dragging that
he weighed only three pounds less than
Alexander Humboldt. "That may be so,"
observed Saphir, ''but those three pounds
were taken from his brain"
81 was born on the very day that Goethe
died" said conceited author Both
events were misfortune 10 German liter
ature," commented Saphir.
"My works viii be read when the writ
ings OF Goethe and Schiller are forgotten"
remarked an arrogant but by no means
able author. Undoubtedly, but not bo
fore, " retorted Saphir.
A fellow wondered how IL happened than
80 many respectable people did not return
borrowed books. saphir said: because
Il is easier 10 retain the volumes them
selves than their oontents." a.
During n conversation upon the con-
slant increase OF immomlity, a lady re-
marked that she wondered God did not
send n second deluge. "Because the first
did not avail, replied Saphir.
~ won't make way for fool" cried an
envious scribbler, on meeting Saphir In a
narrow passage, where at first neither
seemed disposed 20 give place. 'Ohl I
will with pleasure" replied saphir, step
ping aside and bowling courteously.
A lady having expressed surprise that
DIR. y. should pronounce all his patients,
even those who merely had icvcrish colds,
seriously i'll. Saphir said: ole is quito
right; anybody whom he attends Is really
In danger"
Saphir was presented NJ ball TO IN ex-
tromely naughty lady Of rank, who re-
marked with paironizing smile: II be-
lieve, SIT, ! have already seen you some
where" Very possibly" he replied, III
often go thorc."
Many are the witty sayings Of Moritz
Gottlieb Saphir, an Austrian journalist,
and some retain large share OF their raci.
ness when transferred TO another tongue.
The following anecdotes are culled from
little volume, now in its third edition, en-
titled "Saphiriana"
On being asked TO give n universal dis.
tinction between the rich and the poor,
the humorist said III there was nothing
else 10 separate the rich and the poor,
hunger would draw a dividing line. Tho
former rejoice when they have an apo.
lite, the latter grieye over II. !"
An author sent Saphir q tragedy and
comedy, with the request that he would
give his opinion OF them. lie returned
them with the following message: III have
read both your works with much pleasure,
and only regret that you did not inform
me " hich was the comedy and which tho
tragedy"
A Nienncse parycnue sarcastically asked
how Il happened that learned men were -
often seen az the houses of the rich and
the rich NJ rarely In the homes OF tho
learncd2 Saphir quickly rctorted: "Be.
cause scholars know the value Of wealth,
but the rich are rarely aware Of the worth
OF learning"
"what IL the greatest miracle In the
Biblo2' Saphir asked a young lady at
party Without giving her time TO reply,
n forward coxcomb answered: THAT Elias
was not burned when he went to heaven
in chariot Of fire." mo" returned
Saphir That Balaam's MSS spoke before
II WIS questioned.
The humorist spent some time in the
capital OF a small principally One day
he CHANGED 10 make an extremely witty
remark, which was received with No much
disapproval that the Prince instantly com
manded that "Saphir should quit the coun.
try In three days" The latter requested
an audience with the royal parsonage, and
said: III your highncss will step out on
your balcony, you will see me step across
the frontiers Of the country vt once"