Clarksville evening chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn) 1886-1890, 1888-12-21

N~N'''NN~ ~Nf =
the audience The usual sedate and solemn
justices gave way before the wit and humor
Of counsel and were convulsed with laugh.
ter. The fun began when the clerk an
nounced Case No 1875, Robert H. Anderson,
appellant, VS.. Henry r. Miller g. Company,
and John D. Wise, the ex-congressman from
Virginia, arose to state the case in behalf OF
the appellant.
1t involves the validity of patent for a
patch intended to reinforce drawers in the
crotch. Mr.. Wise s a bright, witty young
lawyer, bubbling over with good spirits. He
seized at once upon the opportunity for dis
play OF his talents as a fun maker, and with
Rnecdote, sarcasm and raillery kept the
court Justices, lawyers spectators and all in
a roar. Mr. Wise read from his brief the
opinion of Judge Hughes, of the United
States court for the eastern district Of Wiz
ginia, in the case. This opinion is .reni ARK
able for its levity.
Judge Hughes said that Il was patent far
patch upon drawers, 1nding from the
back of the waist band dc N under the crotch
and up in split form t, the waist band in
front OF course it is a patch upon new
drawers before worn. One OF It's merits is
that it strengthens or, to use the euphemism
of the patent office, ''reinforcesn the draw
ers at tho crotch, where a catastrophe is most
likely to occur. Then, as statement of his
reasons he did not believe patent should be
granted for this improvement, Judge Hughes
said
at strikes me that patent for q patch
upon drawers, designed to remedy the evils OF
rip ard tear to which they are liable in the
crotch, ought never to have been granted,
interfering as it must necessarily do with the
prerogative of the housewives of the civilized
w0rId to patch thedrawers of their husbands
fathers and sons freely in their own way,
with no p2tantee to m0lssb or make them
afraid.
''It is ,imp0ssible that the patch can be
novel as tc the simple matter of strengthen
ing the SEAMS and the material of drawers in
the immediate region Of tho crotch; for il
drawers slo continually give way there ii
would hS a reflection upeE the housewives Of
eivilizedsociety, not to atlmitdhat for hun
dreds OF years taey have been in the habit OF
patching the garment AVID the forks thereof
by tapping the seems and reinforcing the
Tents In that re zion.
"As t50 the disorders AZ Iuent; drawers in
and near the crotch, which have troubled
housewives for centuries. / do not think any
person in our day and generation can en4-
pi0y patch for the TGrpose Of preventing
or cugialg them that can have any real nov
city
Mr. Wise dilated up9n fhis opinion at
length and with ininitahle gesture and OK
T,ressiau warned the Justices of the import
anee0f the case to tiee feminine portion OF
the community, and of the wrath that was
impending over them Concluding, he said
the ca',a resemhlcd the game ef faro.
~Yhsre is this difference, however," said
the speaker. I'm faro the dealer gets all The
splits and in this the splits .a'e all against the
dealer
AT rhi3 sally the court lost likeness to its
usuell = serious and diGaiGed self The laugh
ter become bostcrous alad every one gave
way freely TO his feelings Chief Justice Ful-
her omtld not restrain himself and almost fell
ont of his chair. Justice Harlnn's huge form
and hig 3osy, round face became convuled
with laughter until it became almost polectic.
Justice Gray m2de strong effort to pre-
serve the dignity of the court, hut he, too,
was Compelled to succUnb aEs8 join in the
general Berrimcnt.