The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1888-10-25
ECHOES OF HAMPTON.
Some Funny Answers to the Questions OF
the Teachers.
John Kendrick Bangs!

} Ohm kendrlck Bangs.
One of the most frequent subjects Of
discussion among ethnologists is the
question, Have we in this world
race of natural humorists? Modern
humor affords abundant argument for
those who take the negative in this
discussion, but the Drawer believes
that those in search of affirmative ar
guments cannot do better than visit
the Hampton Normal School, where
the dusky children of North America
and. the Ethiopian alike have their
young-and often aged-ideas taught
to shoot. How good marksmen they
become varies in individual cases with
the savage and the negro just as it
does with the children of fairer COM
plexion, but that their shots are fire.
quently what We might term fancy
ones is fully shown by perusal of
some Of the examination papers handed
in, and oftener still by the answers
given in oral examinations.
The following answers, culled from
the papers of the various classes in
Biblical, geographic, and domestic
branches, cannot fail to convince those
who say that we have no natural race
of humorists that they have erred.
In the course of their Biblical in
struction class, distinguished rather
for its opacity than for its capacity,
was asked, "What did Jehu do when
he came to Jezreei?" to which the
prompt answer was given, "He threw
the Jersey Belle" (JezebeD "out Of the
window" Andi in response to the query,
Chow long did Solomon reign?"
rising young humorist, whose COM
plexion rivals that of the moon in
eclipse, replied, ss"Forty days and forty
nights" We doubt if even Solomon
in all his glorious wisdom could have
drawn a parallel between his own
reign and that of Noah's time.
The instructor of this same class in
Biblical lore was informed most grave
ly that st. Matthew was one of the
twelve opossums"-a most gratifying
answer to her question, since it showed
how high in the estimation of her
scholar the apostle must have stood.
The little girls are frequently found
among the humorists of Hampton, and
their utterances are often characterized
by q wisdom beyond their years, as is
shown in the case of the young miss
of ten who, when asked to give the
daily text, proudly announced that
"a good man is more to be desired
than great riches"
That the boys apply their knowl-
edge, such as it is, to their own ex-
periences, and frequently modify their
learning by their personal observation,
is seen in the statement that the terri
bic disease sent by the Lord upon
Pharaoh and the Egyptians because
they would not let Moses go was the
mumps-a most grievous aftiiction to
the little black-faced, white-toothed
boys, whose chief accomplishment
consists in grinning from ear to ear
rs if they appreciated how funny
they are.
Two questions in the geography class
will suffice for our purpose to show
that it is the darky who is the natural
boy humorist. Having been informed
that the New Englanders were noted
for the produce of their valleys and
the grazing OF their hills, one of the
boys wrote that the New England
people We're chiefly occupied in "rais-
ing the deuce'-a statement which
will be accepted as true by those who
have visited New England only in the
heat Of a political campaign. The
chief occupation of the Africans was
set down as catching Australians and
pulling out their feathers.'
In the kitchen-garden class, which is
to the eye Of the outsider one Of the
most intctcSting branches Of instruc-
ton at Hampton, small boy who
hopes to become an expert butler as
we'll as member of Congress-, after
telling how coffee was served at break
fast, was asked in what other way it
WAS served, the answer being, "In
small cups, after dinner" Unfortu-
nately Tor the youth, whose fascinating
way had almost led to his being en-
gagged then and there by one of the
ladies in the audience, he was so over
come by nervousness that he forgot his
instruction, fell back upon his personal
experience, and firmly replied, "Cold,
ma'am." 1t was the unanimous be-
lief of all present that, although guilty