Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1888-10-13
HINTS ON seAsIcxNgss.
q Clear Diagnosis of the symptoms of
That Insidious Malady.

u Oloar OlOSnOSlS OF the symptoms OF
That InsidiOus Malady.
An anxious friend has written to say
that he is going abroad for The first
time in his life. He has never before
enjoyed % life on the rolling deep, and
desires me to explain to him the symp-
toms of seasickness, how he may de-
tect the insidious approaches of that
fell disease, how he may prevent or
overcome it, OF both. Without obscur-
ing its beauties in technical language
or rendering it incomprehensiblo to
even a beginner, l will state that the
science of seasickness is best acquired
by spending few happy hours upon
the rolling deep in the intimate society
of your most private emotions. 1t is
not matter of time. BY exercising
little judgment in your selection of a
day and your choice of boat, you
can in q short time obtain as much
knowledge of the malady as is pos
sessed by the proudest traveller who
has doubled the cape or rounded the
Horn.
Practical experience enables me to
say that for studying the lighter forms
of seasickness menhaden steamer
anchored, say. two miles off Sandy
Hook, on q day when there is good
ground swell on, affords noble OPP
portunity; but for going still further
into this technique and learning the
true inwardness of all the complica-
tions which may arise you should take
passage on large steamer, insert
yourself in 6x2 bunk, and be bat
tened down with 1862 other passengers
for four days during one of those
pleasant spells of weather which sea-
faring men call elbow"
The first symptom you will observe
in yourself is y desire to suspend all
animated conversation and to listen to
an inward voice informing you that
your attention is specially called to the
fact that the vessel is beginning to be
lopsided in her movements. Stimuli
taneously with this you will remark
that your spinal column is acquiring a
hinge, and that considerable ginger is
departing from your resolution to bear
up and enjoy yourself.
The next symptom will appear sud-
denly and without warning in the
shape of a wistful yearning TO lean
over the taffrail and commune with the
fast, hurrying pillows, gaze soulfully
down into the emerald depths and
wish you hadn't been such drafted
fool as to come. This is usually &C
companied by an upheaval of emo
lions which you will easily learn to
recognize.
The third stage is one in which you
are goose feshed from head to foot,
your ideas are whirling like buzz
saw, a congestive chill and cold per-
spiration steal upon you like a thief
in the night. You feel the clammy
hand of death laid upon your pain
wrought brow, and you retire to your
cuddy below. fling yourself in spine
less heap upon the bedding and tinkle
an electric warning to the steward
that your case needs about as prompt
attention as he can give to it, and that
you are not only ready but eager for
death.
The stage is where you will begin to
grasp the subject The throbbing of the
engine, the muffled sound of washing
waters, the long, low bowls for lemon
juice, ice-water and basins, the pray.
ers and tears of strong men parting
with all they once held dear, the odd
moments in which your liver dances
the can-can and your digestive appa-
ratus has lost all sense of propriety-
all this will rapidly elev ate you in the
knowledge you desire, and when, four
days later. you crawl forth knock
kneed and with q complexion like q
spoiled lemon. to lie to your fellow
passengers and say it was neuralgia
kept you below, and that there is
nothing in the wide world you enjoy
so much as sea voyage, you will
know just as much about seasickness
rs any expert and will be able on SUBJ
sequent voyages to detect it in your
system at glance.
Seasickness is not contagious, like
smallpox nor infectious, like yellow
fever; but 1t gets there just the same.
The speediest cure for seasickness is
aloaded revolver applied just back o.
the left ear, but to prevent an attack
sell your ticket to some confidine
friend and stay home.-M Y World
Surprised by the Gar.