The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1888-12-28
CURRENT NOTES.

1t is the fathers who are too poor to
hire nurse.girls who do the carrying
trade OF the United States.-Lye.
The season is approaching when the
Embarrassed fashionable woman will give
society the cold shoulder Warrington
Post.
A mans pocketbook after Christmas
does not resemble cloud. The cloud
has silver lining, you know.-YonkerS
Salesman.
He (calling)-I'm here promptly, Miss
Fannie. She-Yes, Mr.. StaylNte. He
| never like to keep people waiting.
She (signiticantly)-Waiting for you to
come, you mean, OF Washington
Post.
The United States Post. Office Depart
ment is pretty well supplied with regG.
lations, but there is one more We should
like TO sec adopted about New Years
time-"Post no bills. "-BWrlingtOn Free
Press.
1t is well for every one during the
holidays to be filled with the Christmas
spirit, but they should not regard this rs
permission for unlimited and unrestriCt-
ed indulgence in Christmas punch
tSomGrile Journal.
Neutrality-suspicious., have you any
suggestions with regard to my bric.a-
brac that you think would assist the
artistic effect OF my house? Professor
| would suggest the ACCESSIBILITY OF an
auction sale.-NeW York Ledger.
1t would never do for women to take
up burglary us Il profession. Some inven-
tive man would devise cunning little
mechanical mouse for n burglar alarm.
and bring the whole industry to awful
ruin.-Jounai of Education.
We are almost all OF us little selfish
naturally, you know, excepting when
VIC hear a piece OF unpleasant gossip
about the man we never liked. Then We
generally want to share our knowledge
with every one we meet.-jOurndl o.
Education.
Smith, saw you walking with YOU
wife this morning, Brown. She looked
us radiantly happy MS anybody ! ever
saw, while you seemed too blue and dis
consulate Tor anything. Brownies,
my wife insisted on new sealsEin sack
and had to buy it for her.-Nc0 Yorl
Sun.
Baublc (severely)-Miss Sharpson,
understand You say that my attempts al
wit are simply laughNble. Mrs. Sharp
son with much humility)-My dea
Mr.. Bauble, | withdraw my words. t
call you'll jokes laughable is to grossly
. misrepresent them, ! assure you,-Acci
. dent NeIrs.
Lawyer-See here don't you con
slider that young iady's character good
Witness-Wall, l dunno. She amt baI
enough to be kept out o respectable so
ciety, OF course; but it's my privat
opinion she amt none too good to writ
poplar passion novel eli paid fer it,
Philadelphia Record.
Miss Ethel-And so you are reall
engaged, Clara, to the Count Spaghetti
del Vermicelli? Miss Clara-Yes, deal
II Miss Ethel-Does he speak English well
" Miss Clara-He doesn't speak word {
English. Miss Ethel-Why, isn't tbs
: announcement? Miss Clara-A triile s
Just now, but think what u blessing
will be after we are married.-Nelg Yo'
Sun.
A few days ago, during the trial OF
case in Kingston, Kingstonian was e.
amined as witness. After the lawye
had asked him all the questions the
could think of about the case, one
them iaCetiously inquired about the dl
Il Il goods business. "They are selling Q
s. ut cost, promptly answered the witness
yves, for less than cost" Then, rs
: realized that he was still on the witne
!, stand, he earnestly added, "But wal
' YOU to understand that l am not undl
1 oath nowW-Kingston Freeman.