Huntsville gazette., 1888-08-04
THE WAR OF 1912.
willis j. Abbott Claims That 1t was
Caused by an Unruly Pig.

Willis j. Abbott Claims That 1t Was
Caused by an Unruly Pig.
It all happened in this wise: Two
citizens of Providence, r. l., fell into
a most unseemly discussion on account
of the lawless trespassings of a pig
owned by one OF them The aggrieved
party possessed very fine garden, in
which 1T was his custom to spend his
hours of leisure, wedding, grating,
and transplanting the flowers and
vegetables in which he delighted. But
often, as he entered his garden in the
evening, his ears would be saluted
with grunt and rustic, and the fat
form of his neighbor's pig might be
seen making hasty fight from the
garden in-which it had been placidly
roofing all day. II
In high dungeon the gardener
sought his neighbor and complained
of the pigs's frequent visits, declaring
that little time spent in repairing the
pig-sty would restrain the animals
rowing propensities. But to this the
owner of the pig responded that if his
neighbor would keep his rickety fences
in proper repair, the pig might take
its daily airing without temptation,
and the garden would not be endan-
gered.
Repeated misdeeds on the part of the
pig famed the smOldering fires of dis
sension into the flames of open hostil-
ity. At last the crisis came. The
owner of the garden, rising unusually
early one morning, discovered the pig
contentedly munching the Last Of fine
bed of tulip-bulbs. Flesh and blood
could stand it no longer. Selling a
pitchfork, which lay near at hand, the
outraged gardener plunged its sharp
tines into the hapless pig, and bore the
body, thus fatally impaled, to the sty,
where it met the gaze of its owner an
hour or two later. Thereafter it was
war to the knife between the two
neighbors.
Now, what had all this to do with the
war of 1872? The answer is simple.
The two neighhors belonged to the
political party known as the Federal.
lists. ....- .....
Through all the outrages that Great
Britain inflicted upon the United
States: while seamen were being i'm
pressed, American vessels stopped on
the high seas, and while every posi-.
BILE indignity was being committed
against the flag of the United States,
the Federals remained friendly to
Great Britain, and contested every
proposition for the declaration of war.
But the Democratic party was eager
for war, and as British oppression be.
came more unbearable the strength OF
pened that the election district in
which the two neighbors lived had
been about equally divided between
Democrats and Federalists, but the
latter party had always succeeded in
carrying the election. But in 1911 the
owner of the garden was candidate
for the Legislature on the Fed
eralist ticket. His neighbor had
always voted that ticket; but
now, with his mind filled with the bit
ter recollection of the death of his pig,
he cast his ballot for the Democrat.
When the ballots were counted the
Democrat was found to be elected by a
majority of one.
When the newly-elected legislator
took his seat, his first duty was to vote
for a United States Senator He cast
his vote for the candidate of the Dem
| ocrats, who was also elected by ma
| jority of one. Wien this Senator took
| his place in the United States Senate
he found the question of war with
Great Britain pending, and after long
| and bitter discussion it came to q vote.
The Democrats voted for war, and the
| Federalists against it. AS result of
| the voting, war was declared-again
by majority of one vote Wills j.
| Abbot, in ST. Nicholas.