Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-07-14
A GAME OF FREEZE.OUT.
By BURT ARNOLD,

en- eats cold lunches at the corner gro |
Gerry three times day.
The shutters on the Sbrinkem man. ,
sion are closed, and Mrs. Shrinkem is
mot at home" to clllers--not even to
hat lord and spouse, Mr.. Shrinkem.
You are all aequanted With Simon,
know of his love for practical jokes,
and his meek submission to the lady
Who tules It's home with d fairy wand
and tie rolling pin.
Mrs Susan Shrinken is au angelic
tempered creature who wears that
shade of hair, about which the ancient
Romans raved, the bards ranted, and
the white horses of the present day
center rs if it were the loadstono of
their existence,
Her nature is as warm as q glowing
coal, q point which was made known
to Simon early after her promising to
love, honor and obey him when she be-
came Mrs. Shrinkem.
Notwithstanding all the warmth
shed by Mrs. Shrinkem, it is very cold
nowadays about the house.
| Simon sleeps. or rather did sleep,
for several days in the hall bedroom
over the front stairs.
On the first night he occupied the
room it was matter of necessity, as
Mrs. Shrinkem had locked herself
/ within their mutual apartments, where
she gently mathematical fate for
| linking her future to n chuckle- headed
spouse.
And OIL this night did Simon take
! sweet repose without the Caudle songs
of other years.
/ The following night the bed-clothing
of the ballroom disappeared.
On the next night the bedding took
wings unto itself, and peaceful Simon
blessed his stars that he was even
allowed the bliss of undisturbed rest
Oh the bare Stats with his clothes on.
But his thoughtful better half deemed
his couch too luxurious even at that.
and bare walls greeted his gaze when
he again sought his eyrie.
Still he submitted and laid him down
to rest upon the floor, thanking hi,
COOL luck that he was with shelter
upon that rainy night.
Yet not quite contented with the nu
merous favors she had showered upor
her darling, Mrs Shrnkem further pre-
pared for his comfort by removing the
window and the door, that he might
not be sutfocated IN the damp, muggy
spring atmosphere.
The next morning Simon HE'D him
to the apothecary's and from thence to
the barn, where he anointed his joints
with religious varnish-St. Isaac's lu-
bricator.
For q week he slept on the mackerel
tubs at Beans (the grocer's) store, and
on Saturday he sent Mr.. Beams little
boy to ask Mrs. Shrinkem if he could
have clean shirt and dickey; to which
Mrs. Shrinkem replied that "ef he
wants q change O clothes, let him
come home an get EN-
Simon did not go, and thus matters
stand at the present time.
And this state of affairs is all owing
to Simon's blunder after Susan told to
Deacon Elderberry's wife a story o.
their being robbed.
Gid yeou hear 'baout aour gittin
burgled?' she asked of the deaconess
"Naowl Well, 1 dew YUM! tho
ez haow all Their neigherhood hat
heerd ont"
Sure 'nuif, burgle, Ell? Why
Susan, dew tell; l amt heerd or wore
ont. Tell me everything. Pm jest
er dyin' few hear et."
Simon don't mao 'baout ct Wit.
erkspect he'd gao crazy eff he did.
amt darst tew tell him er word erbaou
ct. I'll hev few tell We kinder low like
cause he's nappin on tn sofy an nigh
wake up an hear ct. Yeou see las
Saturday l got raound ter cleaning
mer silver-I allas clean ct every one,
in while, ct gets sac black wher
faint used-an' when | got through
tho't I'd give Simon's watch er rubin
Els an old-fashioned silver watch hi
great granther carried and fit with il
Their revelewshun. While L was e.
shinin' ct, smelled mer pies burnin'
an drapped ct an flew tew ther oven
When | come back twas gone. Nv,
hunted from cellar few garrit, Roxy
but eff ever tibet watch comes back
tell yeou etll be er witch thet'll bring
ct. Land er gudcness! l expect tev
hev mer head chopped off eff | dom
find ct fore Simon knaows cts gone
Naow. daon't yew say er word erbacu
ct"
The deacon's wife kept the secre
with telling effect.
1t flew from mouth to mouth witt
additions, and the conventional "don'
tell anybody" attached.
: In consequence, by the time tn
news reached Simon's ears, it ha
magnifei in proportion, and unheard
of wealth had been tifched by tn
: daring burglars who had visited hi
y humble home.
g When he returned home after heal
a ing the gossip down town, he waite
d until after supper and asked:
e "D'yu knaow whut's on th'gao daow
Z taoun 'baout us?"
II "Baout us?"
= Yes. I'd heerd tell Ell haow WEI
+ bin robbed. Cy Draper asked m
; 'baout it, an taold him ef We had,
;. din't knaow nuthin' 'baout et."
"Yeou did, eh?"
ayes"
"Why di'n't yeou wait till yeou go
o home fore yeou was sac quick wit
II yeour answer?"
o "Cuz, he said he heerd 'baout c
II: three DAYS ergo, an | knaowed nuthi
= had bin TUX onless t'war arter / wen
o erway this noon"
u "Well, there was something; ar
= yeou don't want tew make me aout c
i liar by denying ct ag'in. Yeou Nigh
= jesG ez VIII knaow ct fust OF last. Som
u burglar stole yeour watch an chain las