Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1888-07-11
SAMPLE RETORTS.
Bright Bits of Repartee Worth Eemem-
bering.
From the Atlanta Constitution,

UOI VI
what is the best piece of wit you
remember to have heard or read of in
legal or political circles?''
A great many replies were received,
some of which we print this morning
1t will be noticed that most of the bon
mots are taken from other eras than our
own. Whether this implies decadence
OF wit in public men of the present day
we cannot say, but assuredly nothing
quoted below is better than the follow
ing from DR.. II. V. NJ. Miller, who, when
the conflict was raging between Wings
and Democrats, arraigned the Demo
cratic party with terrible force to big
meeting. He then said:
''Is there any man in all this assembly
that will now dare to confess himself
Democrat ?"
Contrary to expectation, a chubby
Irishman with red nose arose, and,
placing his hands on his hips, with arms
akimbo, said:
Yes, sir, am a Democrat"
The doctor drew attention to the
queer-looking figure, and said:
my friend, if you would wrap few
wisps of straw around you, you would be
a demijohn.
But let our correspondents speak for
themselves, and if most of the bright
things come out of the classics, it may be
that wit, like wine, gets its bouquet with
age.
John T. Glenn wrote:
rs there anything better than what
Randolph said when he met very dis
agreeable enemy on the sidewalk. The
fellow, clustering up and occupying
most Of the way, said:
az never give way for rascal
Il always do, said Randolph, polite
~ stepping aside"
Judge H. B. Tompkins wrote: ''With-
out fully understanding the purport of
your inquiry, submit the following
from Queen Elizabeth. She became Of
Tended at Lord Burleigh, and intended
to point her scorn by an allusion to his
enemy and her favorite, Lord Leices-
ter. She said- Though burly you be,
Lord Burleigh, you shall make less stir
in my kingdom than Leicester"
W. B. Hill, Macon, Ga, wrote:
ITO select the best among ones
favorite legal repartees is like the at
tempt of the royal mother to select from
her children the one whose surrender
was the condition on which a citv's siege
was to be raised. AS each passed In
review before her each seemed to be
the best loved | can only say of the
following that 1t is fairly good. A client
reproached his counsel for having been
in a semi booty condition when he con-
Quoted his case in court. The lawyer
replied: Tt was absolutely necessary
that l should fiddle myself down to the
capacity of the jury
A. 0. Bacon, wrote:
An excellent piece Of repartee is &C.
corded to a Mr. Harris, of Atlanta
whose initials I do not now recall, but
who Is named by the lrreverent as Fat
ty' Harris. He was on the witness stand
in Fulton superior court and was being
examined by the then encouragement
of Georgia The witness did not reply
to question as directly as the attorney
general wished. The latter repeated
his question and added with emphasis:
Now, Mr.. Harris, you certainly under
stand that question, for you are very
intelligent man. Thank you, MIR. At
torney-G General replied Mr.. Harris.
with bow, i would return the compi-
ment with grea. pleasure if I were not
at present under OATH
Gov. Gordon wrote:
II give you one from Judge Under
wood When he lived in Ebert man
was abusing him roundly, and ended in
saving: Yes, sir, and I understand YOU
were a Federalist.' To this Judge I'm
derwood replied:
% In those days there were but two
parties in this country-FederaIists and
fools. / was Federalist. I never heard
you, sir, accused of being one"
Gen. Henry r. Jackson wrote:
1.-The best piece of repartee remem-
Der to have read or heard. fell from the
lips of John Van Buren,, at one time
generally known as Prince John, under
the following circumstances: He had
undertaken the represe ntation of a GER
tain cause before the courts, very much
to the disgust of one of his friends, who,
having vainly expostulated with him,
and losing temper, exclaimed: Van
Buren,, is there a case so low, so vile, so
filthy, that you would decline to repre-
sent it?' 4 do not know replied the
lawyer, hesitatingly, and quickly. APP
preaching his ear close to the lips of the
inquirer, he whispered: What have
you been doing?'"
Judge S. b. Hoyt wrote:
The Hon. Nathaniel Macon, of North
Carolina, was one of the very few init
mate friends of John Randolph of Roa-
noke. They served together in both
houses. Mr.. Macon retired from the
House in 1915. His successor made
every effort to succeed him in the good
graces of Mr.. Randolph. Mr.. Randolph
snubbed him. Angry at this he took the
first opportunity to assault Randolph In
debate Randolph made no sort Of re-
ply, but few days after, in discussing
some subject, said: Mr.. Speaker, | am
reminded of a remark of my friend, Ma
thaniel Macon, of North Carolina, the
wisest man ever knew and then point
inc his long, lean finger at the seat
formerly occupied by Mr.. Macon, but at
the time by his successor, continued,
but whose seat in this House, am
sorry TO say, is now vacant vacant
vacant
Il append the following, which, un-
der the circumstances, regard as one