New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-07-15
THE NAN IN THE KITCHEN

lUicly correct
Mr. aud Mrs. Tenderlovc live in cosey little fiat In
Harlem They don't keep any servant but Mrs Ten
derlove so does upon her husband that she counts IL
a pleasure 10 do housework FOR him. They went out
for a stroll last sunday evening and after eating some
Ice cream and furtvely squeezing hands under tho
table they returned at IL o'clock Mrs. Tenderlove
exchanged her street dress for light wrapper. Mr.
Tenderlove sank in.o easy chair and began smoking
cigar. Presently he heard his wife calling him;
Come here, darling, quick"
Mr. Tenderlove IS afcctonate husband. BE
didn't say IN be there in minute" but he went to
his wife at once. She standing IN front OF tho
kitchen door. The Kitchen It should be under
stood is at the end Of private hall and doesn't
open into any other ROOM
What's the matter, loyel" asked Mr. Tender
love, sollcitously.
why, / can't open the kitchen doors
"Weu, l suppose It's locked
But didn't lock It when went out and II it
is locked it must be locked on the insde'
How could II get locked on the insldel'
"yery we'll, If some one were inside"
"Why how ridiculous, darling; let me -"
" Hush, I'm / hear somebody moving insde'
It's your Imagination dear"
"Indeed, 1t isn't There, don't you hear III
Some thief has heard coming and shut himself
ln.'
Tenderlove didn't hear IT, but the suggestion
made him feel queer man might be inside.
There was nothing inherently impossible about l..
well"
"sh-h-h; he'll hear Whisper
"Well what's to be done ?" whispered Tenderlovc
Mrs. Tenderlove had a woman's fertility of re-
source.
" Let's pretend we have revolver she said, aud
proceeded to act upon tho suggestion at once by ex-
claiming In high key
Hold the door, darling, till l get your revolver
out Of the bureau drawer
All right, I'll hold it, responded Tenderove, in
tone Of assumed fearlessness. And say, bring
the box Of cartridges he added struck by an in
spiratlon He took firm hold of the dOorknob
and braced himself against the door. He felt awfully
lonesome when Mrs. Tenderlove left him, but his
courage revived when she returned in half minute
bearing poker and an ice-plck She kept the ice
pick and gave him the poker, exclaimng with I'M
bushlng mendacity:
Here's the revolver, dear; every chamber IS
loaded I'll hoh the cartridges"
Ahs exclaimed Tenderlove he grasped the
poker equally unmndful Of the fate of Ananias. =" I
can SNUFF a candle at twenty PAGES with this, every
time"
Hero his faculty Of invention was exhausted.
whats to be done next" he whispered.
Say you'll shoot If no doesn't come out' said
Mrs. Tenderlove
Shoot p
Anything Say #. Don't be foolish
stiIl feeling that the threat vain one, but
unable TO furnish a suggestion himself TenderlOve
exclaimed sternly
"Open that door, you scoundreI, or I'll shoot"
II was a critical moment Tenderlove's heart
thumped loudly. 1t occurred to him that If a thief
with a genuine revolver in his hand should open that
door. he. with his poker, would DO entirely at tho
rhiefs mercy for bookkeeping hadn't strengthened his
arm sufficiently to enable him to strike sledgcham
mer blow Therefore he was much relieved when half
a minute went by without tho door moving. Then
it occurred to him that he wasn't playing very
heroic part
Il CUES, I'd better force open that door," he
whispered.
No indeed, you shan't' rcjolned Mrs. T., with
suppressed energy. you might get killed OF course
the man inside would have you at disadvantage
Ii you 20 to open that door I'll scream and wake
everybody in the house."
Tenderloyc was much relieved to find that his wife
wouldn't permit him to run any risk, and he imme'
dately grew holder.
Il don't believe that there is anybody in there
I'm going to open that door. It's only your magma
tom
7 won't let you. I'll hold you, and I'll scream.'
And Mrs Tendcrlove made good the first part Of her
threat by Selling hold of the tail Of his coat.
Tenderlove remembered that Hector allowed Achil-
les to chase him times around Troy before he
would make up his mind to fight, and yet Hector
was no coward. and all soldiers were frightened
when they first went Into battle. After all, he wasn't
any worse coward than other men. capital idea
struck him.
Let's hold a council OF war;
Yes : If isn't wise to do anything rash'
They left the hall and locked the door behind them.
Il don't feel half much scared now said Mrs
Terderlovc, and If bhe thief should come out he'd
ony run down stairs. wish he would
Tenderlove didn't feel half much scared either,
but he was afraid to confess as much. Probably tho
man does not live who would not rather lie to d
woman than acknowledge that he is frightened.
sWeus said TcnderlOvc.
awen.' said MIS- Tenderlove. with interroga-
tive accent.
whats to be done''
Yes. that's the question wish hed come out
Low he's got the chance and run away. What pity
We frightened him by talking about the revolver
But perhaps II we keep quiet for few minutes he'll
come OUT
Silence regncd for FIVE minutes but there was no
movement in the kitchen. When you can't make up
your mind what you will do, 1t Is a good thing to
ascertain what you won't do Mrs. Tenderove had
very definite notions that point, and she proceed
ed to impart them to her spouse.
I'm not going to stay I'm this house with man ID
tho kitchen. And I'm not solng to let risk your
lie, my precious darling, By opening that door,
There was no doubt that Mrs Tenderlove meant
what She said. Therefore, Tcnderlove, tho hypocre,
felt quite safe In saying.
You are TOO tmid, dear don't believe that
there IS anybody in thai Kitchen. l wish you'd let
ne try that door You know I'm man,
If you do. I'll scream that settles it,
Mrs Tenderovc right. She spoke from ex-
rerience. She never had had occasion to scream,
iut threat 70 scream always brought about the
settlement that she wished. man may be as
stubborn as a mule, but he generally yields to that
threat.
well what arc we TO do, dcar'' asked Tenderlove
lots sec If Mr.. Brasshorn and his brother are
up.'
NO, I wouldn't do that, dear, you know the Brass
horns are great gossps and II there shouldn't BE-
man in that kitchen we'd never hear the last OF IT,
We'd look so ridiculous, You know
But I'm sure there is somebody there
@Weu ! don't think the Drasshorns would be any
good anyhow you know they were both afraid to
90 bathing In tho surf when We were down at the
beach,
That was because they haven't good figures