Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1888-09-23
Mr.. AND MRS. BOWSER
WITH RECKLESS NUNIPICRNCR Hg PUR-
CHASBS A GOAT.
The Essential Difference Between Goat and q
Chamois Illustrated B. Gets Looked
at With a Strong Gaze and
Bears The Blame.

Inc ESSenuA Ulnerence Between 6o4t ana
Chamois llusratsd-hrs. B. Gets Looked
at With a Strong Gaze and
Bears the Blame.
Detroit Free Press.
Three or four boys came to the back
door the other day and inquired for Mr..
Bowser, and as soon as he came mp from
the Office I mentioned the fact, and added:
''You are not going to buy another dog,
/ hope?"
'.Humph" he replied, as he hung up
his hat.
"And don't want any cats around"
"That's just like you! Its wonder to
me the brute creation doesn't fly when
you step ont doors. / wouldn't have as
hard heart IS yours for all the world"
And as for pigs, Mr.. Bowser. hope
you won't think of 'em. The neighbors
haven't yet got over your last adventure in
the pig line"
"My advsnturew he shouted. "You
teased me to buy pig and build pen. l
wanted to crafty you, pumpkin-head that
/ was, and / bought pig. What did /
have TO do with his squealing the whole
"a hours? What did / have TO do with
his getting out Of the pen dozen times
per dsyP"
ooh, well, let's not have any more COWS
or pigs or hens or dogs. We don't seem to
understand them"
Don't we? We don't if We don't want
to! Some wives are domestic and like to
make home of home, but others think
of nothing but dressing and gaddipg the
streets"
IF husband buys COW which gives
two quarts of milk daily, and her feed
alone comes to five times the price OF her
milk, don't zee where the economy comes
in"
He didn't reply to that, and next morns
ing when / opened the back door the same
three boys were waiting for Mr.. Bowser.
They had William goat with them. The
animal was securely tied with ropes, and
the boys kept vigilant eye on him be-
sides. That's what Mr.. Bowser was up
to, and as l knew he had set his heart on
it, / said never a word. He snesked out
to the barn, came to terms with the boys,
aud the goat was turned into the back
yard. When we hsd finished breakfast
Mr.. Bowser placidly inquired:
"Mrs. Bowser, do you know that there is
money in goats?"
"How?"
"They are not only valuable for their
wool and meat, but in sanitary point of
view they cannot be equalled. One goat
would keep our back yard entirely free
from everything offensive"
would hep"
mot only that, but he would be a
playmate for our child, and doctors tell
me that the odor of goat stimulates o
child's appetite"
What doctors, please?'
eff said anything about angels you'd
want me to specify Betsy, Sarah or Hattie,
wouldn't you?"
"Well, presume they are healthy, Mr..
Bowser. You must know, of course."
Certainly know. Do not confound
the goat with the chamois, Mrs. Bowser.
There . marked difference between them.
The chamois is found in India, Asia,
s Switzerland and two or three other coun-
tries. The goat is indigenous to every
country. The channels is very timid
the goat is not. 1t rather seeks
the society of man."
~ wieh ] knew ss much as you do" l
said, desiring to molly him still further.
"Yes, but you never will. You can't
ex pect to. You we're not born that way.
However, | have a surprise for you and
the child. / have Just made q purchase
of goat"
"a real goat?"
Certainly. Soma folks deal in the i'm
itation. never do. Come out into the
back yard"
We went ont. William had Just finish
ed the last of tee kitchen towels the girl
had on the grass, and he acted like goat
who wanted something more solid to finish
M ON. Mr.. Bowser took baby in his arms
aud started down the steps, and William
low cred his head and struck ont with his
feet.
"He may. be dangerous, Mr.. Bowser."
Dangerous So is q canary bird. You
will see him take to the child like fly to
sugar. See how stately he stands! I'll
have photographer up here this alter
noon"
He was advancing as he talked, and be
was not yet half way acroes the yard when
I raw streak of goat shooting across the
grass. A dull thud followed, and baby flew
over the clothes line and Mr.. Bowser went
to grass. How I got that child into the
house can't remember, but guess the
goat was too busy with Mr.. Bowser to no.
tice me. They rolled over and over. They
rose up and went down again. Sometimes
Mr.. Bowser WAS on his hands and knees and
again he was doubled up on the grass. i
for the cook, and with great pres
ence of mind she seized couple OF fresh
sbeets off the clothes bar and ran ont with
them as an offering. The goat preferred
sheets to Bowser, and as he turned away
and began to devour them my husband
crawled up the steps to place oil safety.
He had been hit in what they call the
dread basket" and in the small OF the
back and between the shoulders, and, in
deed, the goat had neglected no opening.
"Mr. Bowser," said as I brought the
csmphor, do not confound the goat with
the chsmois. The channels lisa very timid
animal, while the goat is mott
He looked up at me with stony gaze.
HE is not only beautiful playmate
for our child, but the doctors say, that the
musky odor stimulates an appetite. Are
You not hungry, Mr.. Bowser?" :.
There was a whole gaze OF stone in MS
gaze this time.
"They are not only valuable for their
wool aud meat" went on, but IN
sanitary point of view they cannot be
equalled."
He uttered O groan and crept into the
house and tumbled on the lounge. 1t took
me an hour TO get the grass and sand ous
of baby's eyes aud ears, and l had ust
finished when Mr.. Bowser rolled OIL the
lounge, ran down stairs for the snoT-
shovel, and minute later he appeared In
the back yard and made rush for the
goat. He hit the clothes reel, the barn,
the fence and the ash barrel; bat he missed
the goat. William dlcked and dodged
and twisted, and had great iun for twenty
minutes. Then it suddenly struck him
that he had an engagement elsewhere, and
he went over the fence like cat and ciat-
tered out Of sight on the sidewalk. by
~ T., NJ powaar cana in