St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-04
A. WOMaNLY WOMAN.
The Bitter Experience of Girl
Who Sought to Embody the Pop
ular Idea of WOmanIineSS,

The Bitter Experience of a Girl
Who Sought to Embody the Pop
ular Idea of Womanliness.
Written for the Globe
"Womanliness is the principal thing;
therefore be womanly." For the past
month have despairingly cried, '::How
long, 0 Lord, how long will friends and
foes take me for target, and di
rect all their miscellaneous shot
and shell at me on the subject of wom-
anhood and womanliness@ IWaS Gre
ated in Mother Ewes likeness,I have all
my life adhered to the practice of wear
ing petticOats, don't sing bass. and |
never was nominated for mayor; so why
do people accuse me of being unw0m-
anly? If a political parade marches by
my boarding house, and periodically
peek through the shutters to
see it, my roommate Immediately
screams, Polly. don't you look at
that vulgar bandana parade; it's I'M
womenly." If follow my religious in
clinations and go to church, take the
to the morning paper for a penny line,
getting to my room at IL o'clock Mon
day morning, am Informed at break
fast that l am a most UNI
wOmanly ceature TO be out all night
without a masculine attachment-juSt
as if | were to blame because MY
attachment is out OF town. Then it's
masculine TO have political opinion.
OF to spend half-hour trying to think
! whether trusts are public or private
affairs, and whether Lord Sackville is
IA knaye or a fool. can't. read. about
"Old Hutch and his wheat deal, and
, the ''boodie' question is none OF my
business, no. not even in the privacy
! OF my half of the IL by 10 bedroom. l
| would like to know what l can do, that
| want to do. and still be womanly. One
Sunday did think I'd start out and be
hwomanly just to see what it was like. |
was in some doubt as to just how to
commence. but my roommate and all
the boarderS agreed that it would be
womanly to pray; so, after1I had repeated
my prayer, asked to bemade WOmanly
: just for day, promising that it it was
an Improvement on my usual mode OF
procedure, I'd try it for week. Then
j took "Wife Only in Name" from my
roommate's side of the room and relig-
tiously read chapter in it. The next
thing was to gossip about the girl across
the way and do my best to ruin her re-
putation, because one rainy day
last week she was actually seen
walking on Third street. with a
married man, and under his UNI
brella, too! Then went to the piano
and played and sang Love comes
like a summer sigh" inwardly wishing
that the summer sigh would steal
around rather briskly, in order to blow
me into the port of matrimony he fore
the autumn of life should come. The
next thing was to read Mrs. Grundy's
performances in the morning paper,
and grOan because | didn't be-
long to her Four Hundred, so | could
see my low-cut sateen dress in print.
The marriage and divorce failures were
perused, and after that | put On the
s'bloom of YOUTH" together with my
most piouS expression, and sailed forth
to church. buttoning my coat and
gloves on the street. During the ser
mon, the shape of my winters hat
was planned, and | tried to decide
whether / should have three OF four
reeds in my broadcloth dress. When
hustle and went to the yeStibule. where
| kissed and embraced all the other
womanIy women. At the dinner table
we discussed what every one wore at
church. and | declared the sermon
.'perfectly beautiful discourse" In
the afternoon, / stretched my lazy
self on the bed, and went to
sleep with ''Wife Only in Name"
in my hand. Some of my friends who
saw me on that eyentful day, asked the
cause of the abject misery that seemed
spread all over my face, and with the
same CHASTITY smile that was on Josiah
Aliens countenance when he told
Samantha he was ''bein' cheerful"
/ replied that l was being wO-
manly. [ don't expect to be womanly
another day in my life. for one day of
such misery is enough for a lifetime.
Perhaps / have the wrong idea of being
womanly; but only know that for one
whole day l followed in the footsteps Of
one who for years has been held up to
me as perfect example of a ''sweet,
womanly woman" When | prepared
to retire that dreadful night, l knelt
again at my side of the bed and prayed:
80, Lord. have decided that being
womanly is failure, and don't want
any more, thank you. Please make me
a mean. rascally. wicked man. or even
masculine woman with missionary
thing, O, Lord, anything, but sweet,
womanly womann'
POLLY Pollock.