davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-08-17
THE VNFORTUNATE UMPIRE.


When glowing hot IS Augustus breath,
The unlpiIes worried half 10 death,
For his decisions, wrong or right,
To side only give delight.
His life IS surely of
For every friend he makes one foe;
And he's aware too, to his sorrow,
The friend tOday's foe tomorrow.
-(BoSon Courier.
Henry George would be good man 10 help along
in Chairman Brice's campaign Of intellect Henry
has discovered that protection destroys American
manhood and produces tired feeling generally.
Daniel said the Great I, Z" notice that Blaine
has been having a magnificent reception In New
England. Can't manage TO counter on him, some
hOw ~
Yes. Sire. most certainly replied the super
abundant Daniel
How can manage 1t, Daniel?'
60 over to Old England your highness '-(spfing
field Union.
Two Philadelphia dentists were arrested for prac-
Using in London without being examined and regis
tered 1t shown at the hearing that recent Act
OF Parliament recognized the diplomas in dentistry Of
only two American unverses-liaivaId and the
University Of Michigan. Being graduates of the Uni
versy of Pennsylvania, tho two prisoners had no pro-
fcsslonal standing and were promptly ruled out-ap-
parcnty a hardship, and not the first inflicted by
technicality.
e1,aI nfa
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-08-17

The suggestion made by various timorous Demo
Gratis that the President will probably turn ont a
Protcctonist i'll his letter of acceptance is not a
judicious one. lie cannot run as Civil Service
reformer. and if he be barred out as Free Trader,
what will be left OF him? VIII he keep the field
as the Tattoocd Man?
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-08-17
NETWORK DAILY TRIBUNE FRIDAY, AUGUST II, 1885,

reccptaclcs along the sidewalks a'u the
employment OF boys TO gather up oil the httcr OIL
the street and place it in these boxes from when
it should be removed by the city health carts
every Eight, and nj in ths daytime. IL espc-
cially condemned the Boston sy.tcm Of collecting
ashes, garbage, rubbish, etc, on business streets
during the hours between q. M and 6 p M
lie likewise condemned the Charles River Hats rs
source of zymotic diseases, and said that nowhere
outside of Cork had he found such ill-Snelllng
streets This is certainly n serious condition OF
things and since It has attracted the attention OF
people in The Old World there can be little doubt
now that Boston will endcavor to make better
and cleaner record
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-08-17

a Painstang President is headline IN
"Thc Evening POST DEM How much pains
did the President take in regard TO the River ana
Iarbor bill? lie was afraid to veto it, ana he
didn't dare sign it. Is this the sublimlty OF
hcroism which he has attained to? Alas for the
noblcst type Of Amcricanism since Lincoln was
snatchcd from us
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-12
AT HYMEN's ALTAR.
Wedding of Two Salvation Army
Warriors,

The announcement that ''hallelujaE
wedding would take place at the Sal
vation Army barracks, 1913 Market
street, last evening, was sufficient to
pack the hall to SuffOcation with a crowd
of people, who, after paying 10 cents
admission, raced down the allies to Sc
cure front seats, while those who ar
rived late stood upon benches, climbed
up poles and dISarranged their ap-
parel in their wild endeavors to get hold
of something to support them, while they
craned their necks till they ached
i'm order to get a look at what was going
on in 'front.' The exercises were COM
menced by Brigadier Fielding,a bashful
young warrier,who blushed perceptibly
as he gave out the opening hymn,
marching On" which was sung with
the usual Salvation army accOmpani-
ment of big drum and tambourines. A
prayer and another hymn followed,
after which Mrs. Van LOhr led in an
other prayer. Capt. Green then made
few remarks as a species of apology for
the marriage, but the effect of his
words was ruined by an unregenerate
sinner with wart on his nose, who,
when the gallant captain said: what
means this eager, waiting through had
the temerity to reply sarcastieally:
Were waitin' fer de bloomin' bride,
an eff yer don't trot 'er out soon we'll
die of old age"
No attention was paid to the scoffer,
whose additional remarks were drowned
by the man who manipulates the big
drum welding his stick with unusual
vigor. Amid the sweet sound of tink-
ling cymbals and the notes of wheezy
coronet the bride and groom passed un-
attended down the aisle and came to a
stop at a table which served as an altar.
They were arrayed in the wellkuown
Salvation Army uniform, the only adj
dition to it being white sash, which
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-12
A WEDDING IN SECRET.

Fifth Avenue Elite Fail to See a
Chinese Bride-She Cost $4,000.
New York Sun.
The privacy Of the Chinese ladies in
New York is positively inviolate as far
as Americans are concerned. The new
wife of Yet Sing lives at Is Mott street.
Cinnamon say that the bride is the pref
test girl ever brought to this country
from China. She is not quite eighteen
years old and is very diminutive, her
height lacking several inches Of
five feet, and her weight being
only eighty-fve pounds. She was
negotiated for, after the Chinese
fashion, by an agent of the bridegroom.
She cost over $1,000 and he means to
keep her to himself. Even at the mar
riage ceremony in the joss house she
was made to hide her face behind a fan,
although the only witnesses present
were a few carefully chosen Cinnamon.
At her own reception, subsequently,,
only Chinese women were present. This
was the affair to which party of Fifth
avenue swells desired earnestly to 90,
but from which they were excluded as
unworthy, just as they themselves shut
out other people, In conversation en-
the subject Mrs. William K. Vanderbilt
remarked that she had an ardent desire
to see some Chinese women.
s'That would be difficult" replied a
clergyman familiar with the subject,
because the Chinese women i'm this
city are kept sedulOusly secluded.
There are something like 10000 Chinese
in New York and its immediate neigh
borhood. Probably 200 of them are fe-
males. By great effort several hundred
of the men have been gathered into
Sunday schools, but never woman or
girl. TO subject a woman to publicity
is to degrade her, according to the time
honored belief Of the Chinese, and no
body here has yet been able to contrO-
vert that doctrine successfully"
1t is further fact that the Cinnamon
who go to Sunday schools do not in the
least abate their conviction that women
who mingle with men are necessarily
blameworth to that extent. These fel-
lows may treat their Sunday school
teacherS-who are not only all ladies,
but are apportioned at the rate of one
to each and every pupil-with a polite
show of respect, but they cannot be
brought to regard them as good women
in the sense that secluded Chinese
women are good. This notion crops out
repeatedly in the Sunday schools, and
nothing can eradicate it from the
Chinese mind
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-12
Bound to Kill Chickens.

San Francisco Chronicle.
The very young lady of the family,
who has sense beyond her years. took
occasion when out riding with friend
of the household to pump him quietly.
do you know what will kill chick
ens?" she asked.
Swell, l don't know"
II do hate chickens"
''Poison may do it,
81 don't like to poison them. But !
do hate chickens"
Whose chickens are they?'
ssUncle's chickens. l hate chickens.
Do you think hitting them over the
head will kill chickens:"
ut may, if you hit them hard enough"
''Well, Pm going to kill those chick
ems. They're 81 chickens. They're
very expensive chickens, and | sup
pose it will take more trouble to kill
them. won't it? Don't you know some
thing about killing 81 chickens?'
what do you want TO kill your
uncle's chickens for?o
II hate chickens. Besides, he killed
a dog of mine two years ago. and 1 want
to kill his chickens. The SIS chicken
we beat over the head for three days
and it died. But [ hate chickens. /
guess I'll beat them all over the head,
wouldn't you?''
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-12
Catarrhal Dangers.

To be freed from the dangers of suffocation
while lying down; to breathe freely, sleep
soundly and undisturbed; 10 rise refreshed,
head clear, brain active and free from pain
or ache; to know that no poisonous, putrid
matter defiles the breath and rots away the
delicate machinery of smell, taste and hear
ing to feel that the system does not, through
its veins and arteries, suck up the poison
that is sure to undermine and destroy, is in
deed blessing beyond all other human en-
joyments To purchase immunity from such
a fate should be the object of ali afflicted.
But those who have tried many remedies and
physicians despair of relief or cure.
SANFoRD's RADICAL CURE meets every
phase of Caiarrh from simple head cold to
the most loathsome and destructive stages.
1t is local and constitutional. Instant in re-
lieving, permanent i'll curing, safe, economi-
cal and never-failing.
SANFoRD's RADICAL CURE consists of one
bottle OF the RADICAL CURE, one box of Ca
TARRHAL SOLVENT, and one IMPROVED In
HALER. all wrapped in one package with
treatise and directions, and sold by all drug
gists for 81.
POTTER DRUG AND CHEMICAL Co. Boston.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-12

figures are exaggerated. of twelve
hundred cases of deaths, including
deaths from violence, sudden deaths,
persons found dead and deaths with re-
gard to which no medical certificate is
forthcoming, 40 were infants, children
and persons below the age OF sixteen
years. These may he presumably re-
moved from the deaths from, alcoholic
excess.
OF the remaining $50 deaths, no less
than 143 are recorded as being tue re-
suit of chronic alcoholic disease, acute
alcoholism, delirium tremens, suicides
caused by drink or of accidental death
while drunk, or of accidents arising pc.
cause of incapacity when intoxicated;
that is, one death in every 5.24. OF these
143 cases 81 were suicidal, % accidental,
and 80 the result, more Or less sud.
den, of syncope, apopleXy, etc, due to,
disease of the heart, liver and kidneys,
stated in sworn evidence as due toialc011
holic excess. OF the 143 cases nine died
suffocated during the stupor OF alcohol.
three died of syncope due to degeenerf
alive caroline muscular tissue and three
were run over by vehicles in the streets.
Only nine Of the eases were of persons
under thirty years of age, but twenty
one cases were of persons over Sixty
years of age.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-12
Satisfied at Last.

Detroit Free Press.
The officer at the Third street depot
found two men jawing yesterday, and
after sending one away said to the
other:
"You are very foolish to get up a
,Wrangle here"
''But he threatened to hit me on the
snout!' protested the stranger.
"Yes; but what do you care?'
81 don't care about his threat, but it
was his language. Iprotest against the
term 'snoutv"
HE means nose. IpreSume."
81 presume so, but why didn't he say
so? That's what l was asking him and
that's what | want to know. He could
have just as we'll told ME in a quiet,
genteel way that he would hit me in
the nose, and he might even have hit
me-"
"We'l. you'd better let him alone"
He didn't. though. He slipped away
and renewed the controversy, and ten
minutes later he came back with his
hose Knocked into the middle of last
week, and one eye closing.
II told you,' said the officer. fare
you are satisfied now?"
II am. sir. It's snout and mighty
bad One!"
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-12
A Young Lady Kills Deer.

DOOuNlllG ISTdiu.
Bisby is again palace hall deserted.
All the gay company that enlivened this
wild woods retreat the last six weeks
have gone except Miss GuSSie Pomeroy,
who loves the woods for itself alone,
and does not need the adjunct of human
society to make her happy in natures
hauntS.
Miss Gussie is the principal owner of
the Mountain Home hotel at Wilmurt,
and for several years has been wont to
spend her summers at that pleasant
spot. But the more she sees of the
beautiful woods the more she wants to
see of them, and she came here for vari-
ETY.. She is the most expert oarSwonlan
we have had, is at home OH the longest
and toughest trails. an expert in rifle
practice, and as SnowshOer can keep
up in the winter with the smartest of
the guides.
On Friday last she tried her hand at
deer hunting, with Billy Watson as
guide. She visited the Second lake,
where she was soon put sight of a large
buck. With the GOODNESS of a veteran
she took aim at the neck, and the ball,
true to the aim. struck the creature at
the intended spot, breaking the spine
and killing him on the spot. 1t was a
proud achievement for the young lady,
and her GOODNESS and skill are warmly
common ded by the old hunters.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-12
FUNNY THING A BABY is.
Funny thing a baby is
With his LITTLE wrinkled nhiz.

fulluV lulIfS DdDy Is
With his little, wrinkled phiz:
Scarce hair upon his head,
Notified, purple, white and red
From its cunning. cherry nose
To its tiny, puckered toes
Truly, very certain tits
Funny thing baby is.
But the passing day will bring
Changes unto everything;
Nature no distinction shows,
And the baby daily grows.
Scanty hair is getting longer,
Little limbs becoming stronger,
Parents with longing eyes
Watch its freaks in pleased surpriss,
"Ooty gogen, da! dai
viii il come to its ma or pa?''
TITS no matter-that will quite
Depend upon It's appetite
Very, very certain lis
Funny thing baby is.
Maybe it will come to pass
That the little, pudgy mass
Has mighty mission here
On this tossed and troubled sphere.
If a boy perhaps twill he
Greater man than you or me:
Maybe to congress sent
Maybe make president.
If a girl, liz beauty's field
She the sceptre yet may WELD;
Wit and genius at her feet
Shall rehearse story sweet,
Or the glamor of her eyes
Win for her q golden prize.
But the Issue none can tell,
Be it i'll or be it we'll;
Yet u truth most certain tits
Funny thing baby it.
Chicago Mail
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-12

Capt. Lydia Ellen Brinkley, the
bride, and George Edward Miller,
the groom, wore across their
breasts. They took their posi-
tons facing the audience, and Briga-
dier Fielding read the list of PROPOSE
tons to which soldiers who assume
matrimony must agree. Lydia and
Ellen each assented, and were then
made man and wife by Rev. Herman
Steinbach, of the German Methodist
church, who read the Episcopal mar
rage service.
After the ceremony more singing and
praying were INDUCED in, and the
bride and groom made speeches, in
which they dwelt upon the supreme
bliss of married life when coupled with
a proper respect for the welfare of the
soul, after which the crowd departed as
nOisily as i. had entered.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-12
ONLY A LITTLE STOCKING,
IT'S only a little stocking.

IT'S only little stocking,
Worn at heel and toe.
That found in q box of rubbish:
Why should it move me so:
TITS only faded stocking,
But where are the dimpled feet
That lent TO this and its fellow
A loneliness so completes
TITS only little stocking,
But it proves magic key
To Enclose the gates of memory,
And recall the past to me.
AS gaze on the faded token,
The gate swings open wide,
And cross the sacred portal,
And l stand OH the other side.
walk in the shadowed pathway,
Past the graves of buried years,
And list for the old-time music,
To gladden. my waiting years.
There comes sound from the shadows.
Like the patter of little feet,
And a Inurrnur like childish voices,
Makes music divinely sweet.
And yet, as gaze on the token
That proves such magic key,
/ know that my toughest darling
VIII neyerreturn to me-
Louis P. ", Painter
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-12
A STORY WITH A MORAL.
In Which the Wolf, the Fox and
the Lion Were Prominent Act

~ ~ hhOh thO ssOiAS viz IL Va ANA
the Lion We're Prominent Act
OrS.
Detroit Free Press.
A Wolf one day Sought out Fox
who had been Particularly Recon-
mended to him for his Astuteness, and
said:
Il have passed the Lion on several
Occasions, and he does not Deign to
Notice me.''
''And you want Revenge. of course?"
Il do; | want to make His Heart Sad
very Sad.''
she is Honest in Business?"
ooh, yes"
Pays his Debts Prom ptly??"
ale does y
'Goes to Church and keeps clear of
Scandal?"
Eyes"
'.And is too Strong for you to Attack?'
Exactly; you see how l am Stu
ated."
81 do. There is but one way for you
to get Even. Pitch in and secure his
Nomination for office, and then Lie
about and Defeat him."
MORAL.
1t was shown during the Campaign
that the Lion was all EmbeZZler, De-
faulter, Horse Thief, Liar and Sneak;
that his Father was Convict and his
Mother Ballet Dancer; that his Grand
father was hung and his Brothers sent
to Prison for Life, and he was duly De
feated
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-12
She Became Wealthy.
Detroit Free Press.

Detroit Free Press.
81 was attorney for the - railroad
twenty years ago." said Detroit law
yer, ''and one day went out to settle a
loss with woman. She and her hus-
band had been struck at crossing, and
while she was badly hurt, he was killed
outright and horses and buggy smashed
to pieces. They had the dead wood on
us for $4,000, as the engineer did not
signal the crossing. l went TO make an
offer of about $4,000. The widow was
not aele to sit up, and stopped at a
store in the village and bought some
oranges and lemons and took them up.
When | finally got around to the matter
OF damages she said:
Eyes, it was sad thing, and the rail-
road was to blame; but / don't want to
be mean about it. | suppose the preSi-
dent and all of 'em are worried most to
death, and | suppose could stop all the
cars from running, but | want to be
just. Your bringing up that fruit
proves how kind-hearted you all are,
and if you think you could afford to
give me 81, 900 I'll sign Off"
II made her accept $1,000 and took
her the money myself. When she re-
ceived it she asked:
won't the road be crippled?"
sOh, no."
Gears run just the same?"
eyes"
"And none Of your folks are mad at
me?"
"No."
"Well, then. I'll take it; but, If the
road should get hard up and Mant to
borrow, it'll find me ready to lend"
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-12
A French Convict's Marriage.

Pail Mall Gazette.
A convict was married at the mayor
atty of DIXON last Monday. He is a
joiner named Ghthknecht, aged thirty
seven, native of Alsace. The bride is
a washerwoman named Hermance
Poiret, thirty-three, and by birth a
Partisan. Guthknecht was sentenced
last August to twenty years. penal
servitude for theft. He was allowed,
under proper escort, to drive with his
wife from the prison to the town hall.
The witnesses who signed the register
were NJ. GARNER, police inspector;
Javelie, the prison warder, and Detect
ives Thibault and Gibourg. The party
then drove to st. Peters, where mass
was said by the prison chaplain,
Father Gueritto. Guthknecht had
lunch with his wife in prison; she
kept him company for the afternoon,
and then left HIM to meet him again in
couple of years in New Caledonia,
where she will be allowed to live with
her husband.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-12
The Fate of Sable Island.

New York sun.
The little speck known as Sable Is
land east of Nova Scotia, bids fair to
meet the fate of the fable Atlantis. On
every side the wind and waves are eat
ing it away, and the process of demoli-
ton is going on so rapidly as to make
it one of the marvels of the Northern
Atlantic. Two light houses have been
destroyed, sand another. some distance
inland, was erected last summer to take
their place. Every year shows a con-
siderable decrease in the islands area.
and the notifications the debris are
making in the adjacent ocean
bottom renders the soundings marked
on the charts of that region very unre-
liable. All that is left of the island
seems destined in time to be strewn
over the ocean bed, and the fate of
Sable Island will serve in the school
Biographies as a notable instance of the
destructive powers of the waves.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-12
Sixty-Odd Years AGO.

The Columbia Pa.) News has copy
of the Marietta Pioneer of the year 1926.
The following is among its articles:
SENTIMENTAL EPfTAPH
On young Lady who died for Love.
Here lies maid. by man betrayed,
To him she was too true;
She sank to death, for want of breath,
Heart was broke in Two;
heard it crack, and. oh, alackl
The Dieces how they fieW,!!
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-12
One Way to Reduce the Surplus

ST. Louis Post Dispatch.
While Gen. Harrison is searching
about for means of spending the, sur
plus he might take up the Confederate;
bonds and thus crafty his association
the Republican ticket. Sir John Rose.
the London partner of Levi P. Morton.
is heavy holder of these bonds, and
there is said to be an impression in Lon;
don financial circles that the election of
MIR. Morton will greatly improves the
chance of the United States redeeming
the bonds.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-12
A Mere Suggestion.

Snoek (yellow-bearded)-I say, old
fellow! I'm going to have my beard
dyed to match my new brown suit.
Jook-Dye it green, why don't you,
to match your head?
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-12
WHERE DRINK KILLS.
One-Fifth of the Coroner's Cases
in a London District Due to

Liquor.
W. c. T. U. Bulletin.
The following testimony from W.
Wynn WestcOtt, M. D., deputy coroner
for Central Middlesex. lately appeared
in the Lancet: prompted by my friend,
DR.. Norman Kerr, have made an anal
ysls of 1920 inquests held by
me in London, and cannot
refrain from making the results
public. l am not, and never have been,
total aDstainer, or an advocate of that
cause, SO there need be no fear that the
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-11-12
PAINS AND WEAKNESS

81 OF females instantly relieved by
that new, elegant and infallIble
Antidote to Pain, Inflammation and
Weakness. the Cuticura Anti
Pain Plaster. The first and only pain
subduing Plaster especially adapted TO Cure
Female Pains and Weaknesses. Vastly SUI
perior to all other plasters yet prepared.
AT all druggists. % cents; five for 81; or,
postage free, OF POTTER DRUG AND CHEMICAL
Co.. Boston. Mass,
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1888-06-21
"sJiIn mic, TAs Ri;ller,n

Mr.. Iame' Davis, brothe: of Aeeut
Davis arrived from ElGo, New, on Mon
dav mo ing Gud has been loo ing the
oouatry over since thou, gettin,5 All idea
Of the acreage Of Wheat MISC making an
examination of the wheat raised here
From tne obsetvat GA, made we under
stAnd lie is fully convinced that the;e is
u 6tst class location foi q mill here, and
We hope he will conclude TO locate and
arrange for it's construction at an Only
day Mr.. Davis has been in tee bust
ness for over forty years and fully under
stands ali branches Of the trade. He
reocnuy sold large mill at Elko, Ne
vad". We are also of the opinion that
when he concludes to locate and put in
" nHl quite ka amount Of subscript on
al aid will be forthcoming from out citi-
nens.-( Eagle Roct, lIduho,) Register.