Wichita eagle., 1888-12-16
PERFECTLY SHOCKING.

readers that they are expected 10 be shocked
By it, and that the moral il conveys should
be brought home to the hearts OF all truly
fashionable people. But, shocking as nv
conduct was, fear / cannot repent or be
ashamed Of it, though l an philanrhropic
enough TO hope that my sad example may
act as a warning TO all young married
women.
The essence Of autobiography is egotism, as
some writer remarked, and shall therefore
not apologize for the uuIner Of ''Ts7 that viii
occur in the following pages:
Ny mother was very well known person
in New York society; she lived in and for the
world-tbe world Of ball going and aEuse-
ment-and played her part in it with much
zeal and success
1t was ouly when an unfortunate redness
Of her nose, caused, i'll natured people said,
by tight lacing, disguised her with the look
ing glass, that she adopted the high church
pietism to which she is now so devoted, and
as she sits in her fsvorite corner OF the Church
Of the Beatific Pharisee, with her lovely
books Of devotion, her smelling bottle and
her general air Of condescending piety, you
really forget about her nose, and are inclined
TO ignore the reason which has so happily, II
painfully, brought her into the arms OF the
church
She was always very good mother TO
me, and from the suspicious day which saw
my debut in society TIL that no less au-
spicious one when she wept quietly behind
me as Tom placed gold ring on my hand at
the altar OF Grace church. she was always
most careful % my welfare and eager for nv
advancement and happiness. And what a
chaperou she wasL Even at g in the morn
ing, when other cheperons were asleep or
tuning with the desire for bed, there she sat,
pale and determined, ready to encourage z
good parti, or frown upon a bad
one or on me if l encouraged him.
Many a time have | reached home from Del
nOnico's, srnarting from the pinches she,
for my own good, had bestowed upon my
arms, when l had been more than usually OBJ
stinate in preferrfng some good looking
journalist with nothing year, TO an abdon-
mai broker ready TO place the disposal Of his
millions at my feet.
And her vigilance had its reward. for at
the end Of my second season, just as papa
was beginning his annual grOwl about the
bills and the cottage at Newport, the society
papers were enabled Coy mamma sending
them informatiolj to announce my forth
coming marriage with Mr.. Thomas Van
Pygg Of Sixth avenue and Irvington-on-
Hudson, quite one of the best Eleu, In a pc
cunlary sense, of the year. Tom loved NE in
the most ridiculous, old fashioned way, and
always treated me as il | were in some way
his superior, whereas-but | suppose | had
better keep rny Deficiencies 70 myself. Let il
suffice that was and am rather pretty, could
play on the piano and sing after fashion,
ard had developed quite marvellous amount
OF aesthetic taste IN what we cal high art
furniture. l think knew how TO dress, too,
and papa-whO usually found fault with me,
SO his testimony is important-said that l
had an enormous talent for spending money.
Well, We were wed, and we went of for
our Honeymoon, grInnIng Ike a couple of
idiots, as we no doubt were. And here comes
one OF the most humiiating Of my confess
sions. I was absurdIy, ine1pressibly happy
during that same honeymoon. / had SO
often laughed az the thing, and vowed it was
a relic Of barbarisrn, and declared that
married couple should at once commence
the life apart from one another, except at
meal times, which is their after fate, that it
was very dreadful for NE to be so happy.
OF course, no one is ever I'm love" nova
days; 50 It couldn't have been that. No,
fancy it must have been the getting away
from papa and mamma. combined perhaps
with the feeling that | was now free 70
amuse myself as / listed, with 10 one 70
frown or say unpleasant things TO me when
l firted with dear. handsome Dirk Van
khouuhyde. Dirk had always been ny IA
vorite partner and his despair when l told
him that the announcement in the papers
was true was very touching. He came 10
the wedding-which ne thought it funny 20
call 1.-THE funeral remember, and he really
made it look Ike one-and the reproachfuI
look be gave me Is l got into the carriage
with Tom would have been touching, only at
that moment was taken up with Toms stu
pidiry IN letting some Of my lace get shut up
II the door.
But, somehow, clumsy and stupid and
ridiculously IN love as Tom was, the honey
moon went ike lightning, and l scarcely
opened one of the many books French novels
principally that had taken TO while away
what l thought would be so dreary q time.
regret 10 say that We kept company Just
es the footman and maid do, and suooued
Ike couple OF sentimental German trades
people.
The first person 20 call in Fifth avenue,
where the house had been refurnished IN
high art" style from cellar TO attic, was
Dirk Van khounhy0e, who looked rather III
and depressed, poor fellow, but rallied when
he saw ne was boring ne, and told Us all the
news and made himself very agreeable, tax
ing Tom of az last 70 look 81 some horses at
the Riding club-some Of his own, think
they were-which poor Tom ended by buy
ing, and did net pay more than double their
value.
Tom never could say NO TO any one.
WHATS the use OF ny icing rich, Il l can't
help NV friends who are POOR he would
say, and i vss in vain preached % him o.
the utter ussiassness OF such dolngs-
OF course We didn't stay In New York long,
but shortly migrated 70 Irylngoon, and soon
after arrived Dirk Van khoUnhyie, and took
up rs abode with Us, Apparently for tie sum
uer. l thought this rather COOL for All
sure, whatever l nay have said, I never
meant him 70 stay ulore than a usual visit;
bet after all Re wAs very amusing and Use
full. ard fetched and carried fer ne very wei,
and slwsvs locked nice, and never dreamed
Of flirting with any ore but u.e, though Mrs
Dav5reeze would Fave given her eyes &c de-
tach him SO, as long as Tom did not oo5ecs,
II was not for NE 70 DC 50; but after he had
beeu With Us about six weeks Ion id object.
a2d for tie frss THE his manner 20 he was
decidedly unpleasant
.'Sou.s III nsrg-ed wuxnan has been abusing
ne to yo.,." ! said, fer was annoyed ]
liked Tom 20 be always smiling and a5ecaon-
srs 20 ne
y shouldn't allow any oue 20 abuse yOu 70
ne. but ! coufS tave heard sone-cZng
that has pUr re out
Ton wss getting rather whIrs- | had
never san rim angry before and I tnIuk e