The Washington critic., 1888-01-07
Maple Square. Jan 9 1888
NEw MEMnnRs or coNanEss.
A Dissertation on Some of the Dangers
TO which They Are Subjected.

NEW mEmBIltS OF CON0Hi.SS,
A Dissertation on Some of the Dangers
TO which they Are Subjected.
Though there arc Congresses and Cone
crosses, the general average il rarely dis
turbed, so far as ability, personal worth
and the elements Of distinction are con.
cemed. Instances are by no means rare,
however, in the history of Congressional
life at Washington, where the most brill
liant minds have been clouded and rcpu-
tations ruined by over.indulgence In the
wine cup, pursuit of fckle fortune at the
gaming table, or participation In other
vices that attend the "silent crimes OF
capitals Almost every Congress has t8
victims in those who falter and fall hy tho
wnyside into the slough Of despond. as
well Senators as Representatives, and,
sad to relate, there ~ no diminution OF
the record.
1t is asserted by the philosophers who
| diagnose public events, and IL is by no
means denied in interested quarters, that
no small proportion of Congressional for
wardiess and dissipation originate from
the chagrin and annoyance consequent
upon failure TO press TO the front rank,
especially with new members who hhvenOt
acquired the amount Of patience necessary
to tarry until their parliamentary beard IS
EIOMls llt AbllHEtNSlblllll lNIO tOhltS ll
Washington pregnant with high inten-
tions and hopeful Of great results. The
| ewes of his constituents are upon him and
| he is likewise confronted with the ieal-
| ousy or malice Of the competitors from
whom he has snatched the victories OF
| nomination and election. Enemies look
| hopefully for the fall of their Luoilcr, to
| the end that they may administer upon
| his political estate, Possibly the new
| conner may secure the crown of success,
| but the probabilities are against such con-
| summation
All legislative bodies boast their useful
members, their bright members, their
| officious members and their stupid menu
bers. The first class is that which, by
| well-direeted efforts, contributed To- the
| usefulness of law-making. The bright
! easn comprises the fluent tallIers-the
rhetonS,ians who play the part OF action
condemnation. re orcious class is that
which objects and intcrposes apparently
welded to the idol principle from which
there is no exception 10 vary the rule,
The stupid category embraces those rEsen
exhibit little, If any, interest in affairs,
| and who are necessarily content TO trust
to others TO perform duties Of which they
are mentally and physically incapable.
The Senate and House can easily be
scheduled under these respective heads.
''THE AVERAGE SEw MEMBER
has u hard road 10 travel,n observed a
Congressional freshman 10 coteric Of
colleagues recently gathered together in
the House postotiice, which establishment
is q fayorite rendezvous for comparison of
ideas and the~-~1fessional among the
membership. ~ have been member OF
both branches of our State Legislature, Il
delegate TO State and National Convcn-
tions and on one occasion was ac-
corded the honor OF placing u presi-
Dental candidate in nomination for
which effort received endless enGuUiuIs
At home | am reckoncd among the tfst-
class orators. ] was chosen TO the Fiitielh
Congress, and came TO Washington 10 see
and conquer. When ] gaZed aronnd the
House and mentally took in the caliber
of the other members, | Thought how eas-
ily in debate ] could down about ninety
per cent, of them, if | only had chance.
Now continued the coniessing Member,
lit only consumed about three days for
me to ascertain two facts First, that the
chance was absolutely wanting, and, Sec
ond, even If chance should present it
self, ] would probably get the worst
of the encounter in the first
round. / came 10 understand very soon
that there were dozens Of new members
Just as anxious as myself to get at some
body-Bill Holman, Tom Reed, Joe Cans
non, Sam Cox, Jim Blount, Dick Town
shend, Bill Breckinndge,i Jim Burheg
Ben Butterworth, Bill Mckinley md Bill
Springer iOr instance-and that 'pro u.tttls
none of the members named SOnift i1N
more attention TO the attack than li6i5e
whisking off q fly with his tail.
II undertook 10 digest the rlles, and,
although flattered myself was swei1sup
on parliamentary rules, the more stfi,iied
them the less ] comprehended- sticif.'in
tricacies beyond the fact, al, le,lst, that
these rules were framed S-itlrthc interior
purpose of trying how not to do Il, !
have, therefore, arrived ut the deliberate
conclusion that
THE BEST WAY TO PROGRESS
as Congressman IS to try how not 10 an-
tagonize anybody, but 10 place myself
under tutelage and coax the Old fellows
to give me a small chance by yieldns the
} floor for five or ten minutes occa si0nally
am going to get under Carlisle s iIOl-
mans or Sam RandalPs wing on the
Democratic side, and cultivate Tom Reed
= and Joe Connor on the Republican side,
and through them obtain tho good win OF
, the other old members. All the fight has
gone ont of me, and don't you forget il.
"You have discovered the truth early,
replied n thrcc-term Member "It t9oE
: me two full sessions of Congress TO arriv,
at the understanding that the committee
room was the only place where | coulC
| DlOW my norm, anu even NJ ludI NtEA
gently al times. | managed TO gat on the
! Speakers list for recognition on several
occasions, but Congress adjourned on Ine
before the list was haif way down 10 me,
; and ~ TO
-, CATCHING THE spEAKER's Eye,
! that was my dream by day and by night
a without ever realizing its full frunon
!. except to introduce bills and resolutions
4, on bill day, OF move To adjourn Nor
see when YOU come 10 divide the Speaker
/ up and spread him over 32j Members ans
. eight Territorial delegates every day h,
( becomes pretty thin before hc get
= around.
4 at is safe 10 assume that every newly
, elected member desires 10 secure rc.elcc
tion. Let me ofiera piece OF TauIitou
:. advice. The best plan tC secure reelection
q is to answer, If only briefly, every lct,e
{ written by constituents, distribute yon
/ public documents wisely, sending th
"a right books 90 the right persons, htteu'
i faithfully 10 committee work, and ayOi,
Il debate, except when necessary TO gn upll
+ the record. d.-( Major j, Noah in the Chi
cagO News,
\ Clcreyman's Oversight
IS Clergyman's Httlc daughter pettshly
y, i don't like thar doll; its just common
u kid BODY | want "A French doll wit