San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1888-07-21
WHITES AND WHIMS.

A jack-knife is dangerous thing,
but is not so fatal as q jackpot
Life.
No woman feels like quoting poetry
| when there is mouse in the ROOM
Hotel Mail.
Tennis suits are made loud this sea-
son to go with the racquet. -Yonker
Statesman.
The grocer doesn't often show grit.
He conceals it in the ugar.-Yonkers
Statesman.
Pretty soon straw hats will be show
ing which way the wind is blowing.
Boston Post.
It is perfectly proper to carve out
|.your own fortune, but you should not
chisel other people in doing it.-Bos-
ton Bulletin.
There ought to be law passed in
Connecticut that railway restaurant
keepers shall date their apple pies
Somerville Journal.
Teacher Ito class)-"Why is pro-
crastination called the thief of timer"
Boy lat foot of class it
takes a person SO long to say it."-
Life.
There is good reason to believe that
if John Peter st. John had not hap
pened to be q man he would have
been a Waterbury watch.-Kansas
City Star.
The only way for young man to
get married comfortably on $500 a
year is to throw himself on the gen.
crosby of his Observation-Disclosures
Bazaar.
The Russian Prince Jouliexuelski-
uslkoff thinks Of coming to this cOun-
try. We advise him to get his name
combed out before he does.-Burling-
ton Free Press.
1t may be true that human beings
are descended from monkeys. That
may explain why we are always talk
ing about children aping their elders.
Boston Post.
Woman Ito tramp)-You're a very
young man to be a professional tramp.
Tramp-Yes, madam; but l was a
bright child. began drinking beer
before was seven.-Epoch.
A young authoress, being asked to
define OSCILLATION, said it was one of
those things that the more in the dark
you were the more light you obtained
on the subject-Illustrated Pacific
States.
Visitor Ito convict -"What are you
in for, friend?' Contradictory,
sir; four wives" VisitOr-"Your life
here must be very sad" Convict
ut isn't as sad as the life l led before
came here.-Epoch.
"Geo. WilkinsW exclaimed young
Bacon, as he hurriedly withdrew his
hand from Miss Fussanfeather's
waist, where he had encountered the
busy end of pin. Now l know what
they meant by saying that you have a
wasp-like waist u'-Yonkers States
man.
II don't see," said Mr.. Mcclure, as
he sat in the stern of the vessel, chow
the captain can find his way across
the ocean. If he was going the other
way, all he'd have to do would be to
follow that white streak behind there,
but in front, there's nothing to point
the way.-Harper's Bazaar.
SIS there anything more lovely in
all this world?" said a gushing young
mother to a bachelor who had been
victimized into holding the baby.
"Now tell me-" she went on, as he
stood mute and helpless, 'is there
anything more delightful to have
about you than dear little innocent
creature like this?" II think 1 should
rather have a parrot" was the timidly
spoken reply. ga parrot? How dread
full! Why would you rather have a
parrot?n because you can sell par
rot or give it away."-Merchant Tray
eler.
George Eliot was paid $4,000 for
"Romola," and never less than 5000
for any novel.
Whittier got $500 for the copyright
of his works, which he afterward
bought back for 81 200.
Tom Moore's "Lalla Rookh" brought
the poet 5000 guineas and his "Irish
Melodies" $75, 900.
lola, the apostle of French impur-
ity, got $50 for his first story and $780,
600 for "L'Assommoir."
Longfellow was paid $4,000 1920 a
line) for the Hanging of the Crane"
the highest price ever paid for poem.
Oliver Goldsmith received 500 for
''The Traveller" $3.50 for "The Vicar
of Wakefield and $500 for "The De-
serted Village"
Walter Scott received So, 500 for the
first Waverleys and large sums for
later ones, with $4,000 for wood
stock" and 500, 900 for the Life of Ma
poleon."