The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1888-05-05
DOCTOR INcERsoLL.
The Aniable skeptic Gives his Views
on Medical Treatment.
New York Commercial ADVERTISER

LNcN 1OIh OOlnutfcldl AuNeftlSer.I
Col. Robert G.. Ingersoll has his ideas on
doctors and physics, and medical treatment.
as well as on some other subjects, and in
connection With the illness Of his friend, Mr..
Conkling, he said:
"There is altogether too much gloom about
most sick chambers. People tip-toe in and
about, and wear long faces and act generally
in a way that would make even well man
sick and is bound to make a sick man worse.
believe many man has been hurried
across the dark river by his horrible. soul
depressing treatment who might have be-
come well and strong, and useful, If he had
more sunshine and fresh air in his room, or
the odOr of flowers to Offset the smell Of the
drugs, and smiling, hopeful countenances
about, instead Of woe-begone visages, whose
every glance betokens the loss Of hope and
the belief IN the speedy dissolution Of the
pain-raeked patient.
81 had a friend once named Haley, royal
good fellow. of whom / thought good deal.
On one occasion | received word that my old
friend was dying, and wanted to see me, so
went over to his house. 1 met his wife and
she had face as long as the moral law and
ten times more uncomfortable. Wen, went
in to see Haley.an there he lay counting the
moments in bitter fear that each would be
the last don't know what particular dis
ease he was troubled with, but either that or
the medicine had turned him vivid saffron
color. Haley | said, Ill be hanged IL I'd
want to die with such complexion as that
You would be in pretty plight 70 90 moon
ing,about the other world looking like China
man. / went on after few minutes when
the poor fellow began TO enter into the spirit
Of the subject himself, and showed him his
face in looking-g glass, and that brought
smile. Then l turned TO his weeping wife
and told her to cheer up, that Haley was not
going TO die; that he was good for twenty
years to come.
!" The trouble with your husband is that
he is scared to DEATH l said. You all come
in looking so d0wncast and sorrowful that
you give him the impression he Is done for
and take away all his courage to fight agains
his sickness.
''Wel, the result of all this was that Haley
commenced to mend, and time and againt
since then he has said that my visit saved his
life.
son another occasion there was Major in
the army, whom l knew very well. He was
taken i'll and believed he was going to die.
believed he was simply homesick or some
thing Of that sort. Well, wrote his obitu-
airy and went TO see him in his tent
Major said you are so sure OF dying
that have written your obituary and want
TO read 1t 10 you. he protested, out went
on with the reading and detailed every pleas
ant incident OF his life. Before l finished
a smile fitted across his face. After the
obituary read him a story Of something
that was supposed to have taken place year
after his funeral 1t was a description OF
his widows second marriage. There were
a good many more people at the wedding
than there were at the funeral. Well, this
treatment had the effect to change the cur
rent Of the Majors thoughts. 1t brokei up his
Authorizations, and he recovered and did
good service during the war, and lived
happy life for years after.
Then there was a man from our town
named Marcy. he got 1t into his head that
he was going 10 die. At that time no one
was allowed to leave the army for visit to
the North, except on sick leave, or occasion
ally TO accompany the remains OF dead
comrade. | saw Marcy and said to him:
Now, Marcy you say you are going to die.
III that is so / don't suppose few days one
way or the other will make much difference
to you. 1 want to go home for q day or two
about the 10Th, but can not get leave Of abb
sence to take you home-seep But knew
my man and he didn't die. He got very
angry instead, and recovered, but be declares
to this day that it was my propositloSS mat
hrought him back his old stuhhornness and
gave HIM grit to tight rms life He always
did object t6-5efhg made mere convenience
Of