Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-04-12

Trying to cover themselves with mud
The house dog lay painting and lolling
Under meath the shade of a tree.
And the tabby cat stretched in the grass,
Was as lazy and sleepy as he.
The turkeys, the ducks and the chickens
By the hedgerow were taking rest,
Except one ambitious young pullet
That was trying to steal her nest.
And so upon hilltop and valley.
In country, and city, and town,
On the roofs Of the high and the lowly,
The SUMS 6ercest rays were poured down.
The horses brought in from the wheat field,
Low bent Ger the watering tank,
And gratefully glanced at their driver.
As the clear sparkling water they drank.
The farmer too, came for his incoming;
Wiped his brow as he sat in the shade.
And vowed ''of all hot days in harvest,
Twas the hottest one ever was made"
His wife was perspiring in the kitchen,
She had risen when the rays Of the sun
First gilded the tree-tops that morning,
And yet her days work was not done.
But dinner was now on the table
And the family just sitting down,
Came a carriage and horses from town.
The driver dapper young fellow,
Arrayed in the toniest Style;
Left his team in the shade of maple
And came in with bow and smile.
A bow and smile for the farmer,
And the farmers family of nine;
Shook hands with the tired housewife,
And invited himself TO dine.
And while he partook quite freely
OF the well served bread and meat,
He smi led, and simpered and talked.
And gave them 'taffy'' to eat.
Praised the dinner. the cook and the baby
In each child a likeness discovered
To Lincoln or Garfield, Grant.
Or some other men great and learned
Said this one was meant for a preacher,
And that had Henry Clay head;
He must surely aspire to Congress,
Or perhaps like his father instead,
Would make a remarkable farmer.
Why twas coLnmon talk all around;
There was not in all the country
His equal to tiIing the ground.
And thus having bated his hook
With fattering, subtitle and sweet,
He proceeded to state his business
All he said can never repeat.
But the grist of it was, he'd patent to sell,
A right to make machine;
The most wonderful thing that was ever known,
Or thought of, or heard of, or seen.
It could dig potatoes, or load up hay,
Husk the corn and chop the wood,
'Twere easier to tell what it could not do
Than enumerate all that 1T could.
Me had model to show and explain,
As its merits he glibly ex trolled,
Tire result plain, as you may have guessed,
Tin, right and the farmer were sold.
1t istrue that his best was a thread-bare suit.
And his wife had worn for years
a rusty-sAawl, while children plead
For music and books with tears.
He "could not afford such foolish things"
He chad no money to give
For organs and pictures, dress and styles;
Twas all he could do to live"
But now he was caught, (they sometimes are)
So he gave his note of hand
For hve hundred dollars, duly secured
BY mortgage upon his land,
Wen of course twas worthless, all know that
The machine was never made,
The boy with the Henry Clay head is u mas.
But the mortgage is still unpaid.
This is only one case where the farmer is aeeced
But the instances are not rare,
O1 humbugs and swindles, the world is full,
Zlnd the farmers, the victims are,
1Sss re are vampires in every grade of life,
w 10 feed upon the honest men.
And he only way to escape their tolls
Hav, nothing to do with them.
The day. of wooden nutmegs are past,
And lz. swOod hams are no more,
But agents beset your every step
And haras you by the score.
They have s's. dime wheat, Bohemian oats,
Russian aprH@ to sell,
And if you have n OF the money TO spare
Your note will do just as well.
They have plum trees to sell, which they say
Are proof against WORMS. but the "bore''
That worries you me st, and does the harm,
Is the one that ent, rs your door.
They bring you the ost ensible foreign cloth.
English robes and sha wis and hoods,
They pocket their pay a. Id you find to your co.
They're the shoddiest ind OF goods.
There are medicine quacks VINO haunt your home
And for all of your aches and ills,
They have Iifs-giving cord ais and Panaceas,
Patent plasters and paten. pills.
They'll make you believe in Fite of yourself
They have power, your hea. lth 10 restore;
So you swallow a dose. and if you should die
You viii never be sick any more.
There is scarcely thing you Juy TO use
To sit on, TO drink, or to wes 7,
But the spoiler has set his seal the 7eon,
Making foul what seemeth air.
There are personal histories" vhici assert
"You are older than your II other,
You have married your father = sec9nd d wife,
And she eloped with your br other"
And when you read the aston. shing news
You think (oh this be t. -ue,)
That maid he author