New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1888-06-17
1T WAS A LIVELY ARTICLE.
BUT 1T DIDN'T PLEASE THE SUBJECT.

Robert J. Burdcte, whom everybody knows whether
they ever him not, used to run little daily
paper In Peoria Ill believe II was Pcoria-anyhow,
It was the narer he enjoyed running so much because
there was never any uncertainty about H. He knew
positively every Monday morning that there wouldn't
be enough money TO pay the composltors Saturday
night
lie hadn't written much good humor then as no
has since, but It used to crop out once In while-he
cDuldG't help IT. One day prominent citizen OF
Peoria got into trouble with a hackman about the
amount OF his charge something and took of his
coat and fought him all around tho block. He made
II red day for hackmcn too, and got pretty excited
before 10 finished. The next morning Burdetto had
pretty nearly column about II. There had been so
much space fl ard be turned his fancy loose and
filed it. He had laughed about it quietly to himself
all the way homo that night after he wrote 1t,
and IN the morning read over 10 SEQ If the boys
had got It set up all right and smiled sort Of inwardy
to himself again.
About the middle Of the afternoon tho man who had
the trouble in. Burdette trembcd a little at
first, because he didn't know how he might have
taken IT, bat the wore broad grin on his face
and seemed to be very much ticlled over It.
"That was a good me in The Hewlett this
morning. said the man.
"Er-yes-do you think 80 said Buriette.
ooh, capltal-took It of Grstclass. Did you write
n1'
"oh. yes. 4 scratched It of in hurry last night
We have to have something TO I'll up
"of course But 1t really good. I didn't
know you could do well as that went on the
enthusiastically.
"Oh, didn't think much OF it, returned Burdette
modestly. "IfI had only had ttlc more time per
haps might have made something ont Of it,
@oh, you had time enough-plenty OF time, assure
you 1t was fine. OF course didn't really do all
you said did,
"oh. of course not Certainly not. Cot to have
tpox
al see-especially in live local paper'
"You understand IT,"
AZ think So OF course didn't yell like a man
with his foot in lawn mower all the time I was
having the controversy
"Ch, no-wo have to exaggeratc little
al sec and then I didn't raise the hickman up
and pound the face Of tho earth with him till tho
police stopped me for wearing out the paving
"No. not at all-hM to make IT lively, you Know
"of course Then didn't chase him into the
country helf mile. did nov7'
u never heard that you did. Just slipped that
in. You know a local paper"
al understand. Then Of course didn't roar so
coming back that people thought there was hall
storm coming"
"oh. yOu didn't roar at all / made that part up
TO maize II lively
81 thought so. Then didn't stand on the corner
and howl TIL I was tired ard say I could lick any
hackr,an who ever looked through collar, ard go
around the streets cracking my heels together ana
Saving was from Bitter Creek where It want moro
| than foot WIDE
or course not-nothng Of tho kind at all Just
nut that n-Sot to in small town with daily paper
you sec"
81 notice you have to. 1t a funny piece take
It all toGtther.'
~Y-c-s I thought perhaps It little funny
| admitted Burdctte a little uncasily.
You say in II the hackman small man?'
Wbv vcs rather small. I understood,
! probably not as small you are?"
"Oh n-no. | presume not. I'm not very big you
see Pleasant weather we're having. Major
"Y.aes. very pleasant-a little cold for haclmen
| and some editors l know Of Probably, then, II l
| licked the hackman there wouldn't BIO any doubt but
that could lick youl'
"Oh, nno no, sir; not particle OF DOUBT eoihS
TO the tonight, ColonelP
al expect TO be there, but you wont-yOu'n be In
! the hospltal-you little, Insignificant onehorse coun
try EDITOR and he reached out and got Burdette By
the collar. Chased the man out beyond the fair
grounds, did II Reared like the eSht-thirty express
! coming back did lar and he began iabbing Burdette
up and down like the dasher Of old fashioned churn
Ny actions would have made fish laugh, oh !!
IIowlcd around till made the worlds back acne diu
~ and all the time he dancing around the once
with Burdette at arms length "Oh, You're golns 10
| DO the great American humorist No DOUBT OF IL d.
| all You'll make the universe double up and roll on
| the grass some day You're funny, oh, so very
| funry Just civc you little more practice on me
and you start out leciuring ana ~ hsiu % Ne
| what would have become of poor Buluette II Dig
pressman hadn't como in Just then, with his sleeves
rolled up and ink the side or ms nose, anu 10
| ilevcd him The pressman fought the man ten
| minutes before he managed to tear HIS coat of and
shut ND both his eyes and fire him down the edIs anu
half way across the ds~ AK. ~ e vo ad BTrete
gathered himself together and wrote Up solemn ac,
count OF tho death Of the Oldest ffeo "sOn WIZ H'H