The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1888-05-08
IRISH WIT.
Delightful, Wild, Fitful, Irrcsponsi-
bic ana AudaciOus.

Irish wit is a delightful, wild, ltful,
| irresponsible, audaclous quality. 1t is
glorlOusly spontaneous, and there Is a
lurking twinkle In It's seemingly most
obtuse ''bull" that the thorough
Saxon mind often fails to grasp when
Oh his first visit to the Distressful
Country, whittier he may have been
| asked on some such good-natured invi-
tation as that Of the fine old Irish gen
tleman who told his English friend,
''lf liver ye come within mile or two
sv my house, I hope to goodness you'll
| stop therel' He will be amazed to
find that possibly an extra doueur will
be expected by the carman who is
showing HIM Killarney or Connemara,
Oh the ground that, "Sure, don't ye
see that I druv yer honour for the last
twfnty miles without a lynchpinI'' He
may be startled at the graphic double
answer once given by Dublin
'jarvey" to an inquiry as to what the
three sculptured figures that sur
mount the general post.office In Sack
Vile street meant. "Thim three fig
ures are stuck up to show that it's the
Post-offlce." "But why2 and who are
| they?" Then, determined not to be-
! tray ignorance, the answer came.
| '"rhim three's the Twelve Apostles"
| "Those three the---?" :sAv coorse,
sure, ye wouldn't have them all out
together; the rest is inside soortin' the
letters" Note. too. how prettily chiv.
| airy blends with their wit.
Did ever lover say sweeter words than
those that Myles-na. .Copaleen gives
just at the tag Of the "Collen Bawn:"
| I 70 D.,
didn't bring her into the world a second
| timer Take her, Master Hardness; and
when ye die lave yer money TO the
| poor an yer widow to me, and we'll
both be satisiied?". Or is there a
softer or more delicate liltin any Scotch
or English song than the words Of the
Irish peasant watching the girl of his
heart footing it in jig or planxty on the
! barn door: "Dance light, for my heart
it lies under your feet, love?" There
Is pathos. too, Of 10 curious sort in the
well-knOwn dialogue between an Eng
lish visitor and an old Irish butler who
answers the door in rusty black and
with tear-dimmed eyes. "Does the
Q'Regan live here2" "He does, sir; but
he's dead, rest his sowl'' "Dear me!
how long is he deadp" "Faith, If the
| poor man had lived to Wednesday next,
he'd just been dead u fortnight" "
Then what historic good things are re-
corded of the famols divlnes and legal
lights Of Ireland of the real order Of
rapid wit, as distinguished from the
| sayings Of Sir Boyle Roche, Of 'bird"
fame, who asked the House of Com
mons why they should do anything for
| posterity: "What has posterity done
for usp" and IN response to the burst Of
laughter explained, with profound
gravity, ''that by posterity he did not
| at all mean our ancestors, but those
| who Immediately come after US"
Swift's words it would be superfluous
| to quote, for his works speak for them
| selves, but Lord Norbury, whose legal
position was serious, flashed into the
dullness OF law many bright sayings.
Nor let us forget the countless anec-
gered. Lord Carleton by his eloquence,
that Judge ordered the sheriffs to take
into custody any one who would pre-
sumptuously dare to fly In the face Of
the Court. At this difficult moment
swallow circled round the Court, and
Curran at once said. "Mr. Sheriff, take
him into custody for showing his utter
contempt or Court by flying in his face"
Again, when Lord Care paid more at
tention to his favorite Newfoundland
dog at his feet, than to the learned
| counsellOr's arguments, the latter alb.
ruptly stopped his harangue. $50 on,
Mr., Curran,' said the Judge. "a
thousand .pardons, my Lord.
really took it for granted your
lordship was engaged in consul
tation." Then, when he fought
his duel with "Bully" Egan, and
the latter called the attention of the
seconds to the odds which, by the rea-
son of his dimihutive size, the master
of the rolls had over him, saying, "I
might as we'll be aiming at the edge of
| a knife as at his thin carcass" Curran
said at once, swell, let the gentleman
chalk the size Of my body on his own,
and let every ball gong outside OF that
line count for nothing" This was as
courteous as the behavior Of the lame
gentleman fighting another duel, who
| asked his opponent with profound po-
likeness if he would permit him TO sit
on the neighboring milestone at the
crossroads while they exchanged shots.
"To be sure," "was the reply; "and now
In turn grant me Il small, and some
what similar favor" s'Certainly;
what do you require?" |Only leave to
go and sit on the next milestone" That
quarrel onded in howl Of punch.
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