Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1888-01-09
A Fair SOmnambuliSt.

and disagreeable dilemmas. Up On |
Sutter street is large domestic hp- |
tel. where families and single people
are accommodated with all the con-
forts of home. Under these cpcum-
stances it is generally full Of people
Young married people are especially
Glad to find in such an establishment
the conveniences of private life With
out the trouble and worry of house
keeping, and bald-headed, middle
aged gentlemen, who, in their naste
to accumulate wealth, have put OF
marriage until it is too late tdwGds.
gravitate to such places as inevitably
as the needle turns to the north. The
house in question was full ofsuch
people. But particularly noticeable
among them was a blushing young
bride, whose beauty and grace was
the theme of every tongue, and a
stout, red-faced dealer in old ron,
whose sleek and shining appearance
was only equalled by the smooth and
polished surface of his hairless head
Indeed, it was a generally accepted
rumor about the house that this seek
and glistening Uranium was the re-
suit of incessant polishing with a red
bandana handkerchief, which, for
time out of mind. had been regarded
as a leading feature of his toilet. To
say that this gentleman was modest
would only partially convey an idea
of his remarkable 'backwardnesS IN
coming forward in the presence OF
ladies. The glances of feminine eyes
would deepen the carmine hue of his
countenance until the blood seemed
ready to burst from his veins. And
a word addressed to him in the liquid
accents which only feminine voices
can assume would cause every nerve
of his body to thrill with embarrass-
ment.
Imagine the CONSERVATION of this
gentleman when on returning late
from his club one night he found his
apartment occupied by a lady. The
discovery was not made until he had
partially disrobed Coming into the
room, the moon shining brightly
through the window, he began to
throw off his clothes, without light
ing the gas. When his coat, vest
and shoes were removed, and wool
en- night cap drawn comfortably over
his head, Spandars- dangling
gracefully from his waistband to his
heels, and when in the act of drawing
off his trousers, he was interrupted
bv gentle voice from the bed, IN
quiring:
ssIs that you, dear?''
The horror of the situation rose
vividlv before his eyes. 1t was as if
lightning shock had transtixed
him. His feet seemed glued to the
floor. If he had had any hair on his
head it would have rose on end. But
the blood, which in the moment of
his overwhelming astOnishment had
receded to his heart, now rushed fu-
riously through his veins and seemed
to concentrate in a globe of burning
red in the head, from which the di-
sheveled nightcap had fallen.
''Are you coming to bed, dear ::
came again the same gentle voice.
This was too much. With bound
like panther the gentleman leaped
to the sofa, and wheeling it from the
corner sprang behind it.
The moon, pouring a flood of light
through the windows, seemed to have
concentrated all its rays on that par
ticular corner. 1t was lit up with
the brightness of day. The lady saw
the crouching figure, and noted the
obese and ungainly form. ltwas not
her husband. Visions of robbers,
murderers and thieves passed thro'
her mind with the rapidity of light
ming. With bound as if upralsed
| by galvanic shock, she sat up III
bed Then with shrek as If all the
steam calliopes in the country had
been combined in one fearful disapa-
son, she gave voice to her alarm. The
noise of that awful shrek drove out
of the mans heart his first alarm,
and replaced it with another fright
still more intense.
.sFor heavens sake, woman, be
silent !" he cried from his crouchlne
place in the corner.
The lady only shrieked the louder
From fright the man was rapidly pass
inc into a condition of distracted
courage.
''Be quiet. / tell you y
"Oh, sir, for PHYS sake don't XII
me"
s.Kill you, indeed Confound it
I'm not going to hurt you. But ge
out of here y
This confirmed her worst apprehen
sions. A burglar had invaded he
room. She would have fed, but tn
door was locked, and her attire wa
not fitted for promenade throug
the halls.
But she could yell, and she did. l
succession of screams filled the roof
that would have wakened the dead
They reused the house, and the hall
radidly filled with excited people
5 Among them came the husband c
the rosy bride. He had come hom
late, and not finding his spous
asleep, as he expected to, conclude
t...l