Sacramento daily record-union., 1888-08-11
SAID IN FUN.

The postofhce clerk holds the letter
write side up Washington Critic.
Travel is great educator, yet few hand
| organ men know how to read and write
SomerUile journal.
81 may be slave, but there's nothing
of the surf about me-" said the Mill
Stream.-Huper's Boar
A Boston girl attended 4 cooking-school
and became SO infatuated with the culinary
art that she married supe.
Not less than fifty persons are said to
have lost their lives in the Niagara rapids.
Shoot the rapids ?-Burlington Free Press.
Women are now wearing undressed kid
for their slippers, yet for ages they have
been wearing their slippers on the un-
dressed kid.
According to Aristotle, large ears are
indicative of imbecility," and this explains
why Aristotle is not on the curriculum of
most of the Western colleges.
This is what call tadpole soda" Pro-
prietor.-What do you mean by that, sir?"
Customers Simply that it has more head
than ody.'-Baagor Commercial.
Robinson" How big family have YOU
got now, Smith," Smith" Three girls
and part of boy" Robinson Part of
a boy" Smith" Yes; Fourth of July,
you know"
The new electric style of hanging will
possess this beauty: Stranger Ito lady in
mourning" infer, Madam, that you
have recently lost husband" Widow
! (sadly)-"Ah yes, sir, my poor husband
was struck by lightning. Epoch,
A correspondent thinks that there is
something in the American air that in
clines people to chew Men chew tobacco
and women chew gum. 1t is probably be-
cause America is a free country, where
people do pretty much as they chews.
Husband "What are you going to take
that scrap of lace along for?' Wife
''Scrap, indeed That's my handkerchief:
80, that's it." "Yes, and by the way,
forgot to give you yours. It's upstairs on
| the" Never mind dear, I've postage
stamp"
Mrs. Goodweather: at must be dread
ful to be buried prematurely." Mr.. Good
weather: 80, | don't know. | wouldn't
worry, my dear. 1t won't happen to you"
! Mrs. Goodweather: "Well, hope not"
Mr.. Goodweather: "No, love. You'll
never be buried too soon."
Dumley (irately): 81 understand, Rob-
inson, that you have said that look like
monkey" Robinson: 81 believe | did
say something of the sort, Dumley.D
Dumley (threateninglyl: "Well, you will
have to apologize" Robinson: "All
right, Dumley. The first time l see
monkey Pll apologize"
Browns boy: "We'ye got stationary
washstands in our house." Smiths boy:
We've got tessellated vestibules." Browns
boy: We've got open CRATES" Smiths
boy: $50 have we, and an elevator"
Browns boy: "Weve got electrical bells"
Smiths boy: "Well, we've got something
youenses hasn't got-we've got rheumatic
tubes. There, noww
Mrs. De Baggs: valentines day is
nothing like it used to be. 1t is rare
thing for person to get more than one
valentine nowadays Mr.. De Baggs: 20,
| don't know. know person who gets
200 or 800 every Valentine day" "Some
celebrated actress, / dare sayn Not at
all. It's letter-carrier. He gets them
from the postmaster"
20 papa, | was Gagged once" said lit
tie girl. when | was visiting auntie IN
the country last summer | went into
some bushes, and after awhile | found /
was caught The bushes were so thick
that couldn't go out" "Well, how did
you get out?" oh she replied, with a
toss of her curly head, u had a little
hatchet and hatched myself out."-CHi-
cdgo Tribune.