Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-10-06
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
THE whisky trust-Getting o drink
put on the slate.-ErchdHgc.

HE whisky trust-GettlnS q drink
put on the slatc.-Erchdnge.
FEATHERS marked down." advertises
q dealer. That is dishonest. Life.
A "GRAss" widow always knows how
to make hay" whether the sun shines
or not.-Arcold Record.
A DANCING master recently schot-
tische his head off He waltzed into
the other world to quick music.
THE retired pianist, the retired pugil-
list and the retired minister are all ex-
Founders. GOoddVS chicago sun.
THE ncltcst little misprint we have
seen lately was young fellow kissing
his girl in the garden last Sunday even
ing.-Peru IHD can.
He (pocticaU-But what is money
compared with true love? She Cpracti-
caD-Ah, now, | wonder whether my
dressmaker would accept that senti-
m1nt?
SAY, Mister" said tramp to an art
list, gimme dollar and I'll let We
paint me picture. lou can put dandy
frame on it and call it A Summer
Idyl'"
BRowN-How do you like your new
house? Smith-Wcll, there are some
Objectionable features about it. Brown
What are they? Smith-Thc land
lords.
A LADY who was greatly annoyed by
the loquacity of her servants, being
asked why she did not tsy dumb wait
crs, replied, 81 have tried them but
they don't answer"
Miss SONATA (to Western cscort)-
Do you know Wagner, Mr.. Hamlard?
Mr. Hamlard -No; but I'm well ac-
quainted with Pullman. He lives i'll
Chicago, you know. -LUr.
SCENE Husband, writing; wife,
knitting. Husband Elsie, obligc me
by leaving the room. Wife -Why,
Oscar? Husband Your silence is OPP
pressive. Detroit Free Press.
"DoN'T he afraid to praise your SER
wants when they deserve it," advises q
ladies magazine. The minute the hus
band tries that on the pretty servant girl
she has TO hunt for another situation.
YoUNG ladies who wish to have small
mouths are kindly advised to repeat this
at frequent intervals during the day:
Fanny Finch fried five ioundered
frogs for Frances Fowler's father. y
Phiiddciphjd H"cOrd.
ELDERLY BELLE danguishingly)-
How a shower of rain improves the APP
pcarance of the face of nature! Youthful
rival with Il meaning glance Yes, in
Il ~ Ia l,n Il
is between nature aud art.
HUSBAND (contemplativcly - How
trun it is, my dear, that the good that
men do is oft inferred with their
bones. Wife mot contemplatively)-
Yes, s'pose there's so little of it that
it isn't considered worth saving.
CHRISTIAN Scientist Have YOU ever
tried faith for rheumatism? Patient
Yes; | am trying it now. I've got in
my right pocket the left hind foot of II
rabbit that was killed in the dark of the
moon, and l do believe it is helping
mo.
"MIss SoRREL possesses the faculty
of matching her lace with her trcsscs,
doesn't she, Frcd?" "Why her lace
isn't OF the efiulgent type, is 2" GLOW
can you say so? Isn't it of the torchon
variety, I'd like to know ?"- IonhcrS
Gdzctic.
A VITAL question: Young wife Doc
tor, am about to prepare for Il trip to
Sorrento, and have come to ask your
advice. Doctor-On what subject, ma
dam? Young wifc-Iou must tell me
what is the proper complaint to go to
Sorrento with!
Gus De SMITH What did you do
with that letter that was on my table?
Colored BOY tuck it to de pos'oilica,
sab, and put it in de hole. Did you
not see there was no address on the en-
vclopc?" 81 saw dar was no writin on
de 'vclopc, but lowed yer did dat ar on
purpose, so | couldn't tell who yer was
n writin' to- Is an dedicated niggah,
| is, and | s'posed you knowcd hit.
-Tcrd$ SUtn1gS.
PAN.