Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1888-01-09
PARLOR THEATRICALS.

AN-t1SNA
with such violence a few years ago, my wife
and two daughters were among its earliest
victims. A sort Of an eruption OF fancy
piacques, panels, tiles and painted cfockery
6rst broke out in the corners OF the rooms,
spreading to the walls and mantelpieces,
and quickly followed by spinning wheels,
fans, brass andirons and c5al scuttlea, every
symptom, In short appearing in swift sue
cession. Then the carpets were pulled up,
and the doors taken down from their
hinges, to be replaced by portieres that fiut-
tered in the chilly drafts which swept across
the polished floors.
Right of the back parlor was a little room
set aside for my exclusive use, sacred from
all improvements and innovations, and usu-
ally called the library. One chilly spring
evening, as looked out from this retreat on
the frosty, shining floor beyond, thought
what exceeding comfort lay in thick velvet
carpet spread before register; good, I'M
healthy furnace register, which warns one
all over. Out in the parlor my two daughters
were jointly entertaining young Mr.. Alfred
Archer, and doing it very well, thought
watched them for while, as they skated
over the waxed floor, until the gentleman
rose to depart Now Alfred is the pink Of
politeness and would not for a kingdom
have turned his coat tails upon his hostesses,
as be smilingly backed and bowed himself in
what he supposed was the direction of the
door. saw in moment that he was off his
reckoning, and that directly in his path stood
a large easel, holding a handsomely framed
engraving of Rosa Bonheur's famous MASTER
piece. Now, have always said that pict-
ures were meant to hang securely against
the wall, instead of being tilted back on
three legs upon a slippery floor, and the
crash which announced the demolition Of the
Horse FAIR pretty well confirmed my
opinion.
1t was some months before he came to the
house again. Indeed when his stylish hat
and cane once more adorned our hall mirror,
decorative art was decidedly on the decline,
and the private theatrical craze was fast
taking possession of the family.
"Do you expect to turn out Siddons or
Ristori among your inquired one evening
in my most sarcastic manner, as picked up
one of those little yellow covered volumes of
the "Minor Drama" over which they we're
now continually porting, at is not for us
TO say what the extent of our abilities may
be-" replied my wife, with great modesty,
though her impersonation of tho bereaved
and disconsolate mother in the play of "a
Modern Ruth" was admirably pathetic, while
Julia, my eldest daughter, entirely won the
sympathies Of the audience, or the maternal
portion of them, at least, when, as Ethel Ar
hngton, she prefers the mansion OF a widowed
mother to a cottage with Harold Colquitt.
A husbands and a mothers love, to say moth
ing of the mothers estate, were of course the
final reward of such self sacrifice, but when,
In the second act, she announced to her lover;
"Harold, my heart is yours forever. Yet
urge me not, for love must yield to duty
I Joined heartily with the audience in APP
plauding her noble determination.
But I.u1u who took the mart of n haupht\
beauty, was not SO fortunate. She was rather
too diminutive for dignity, and her slight
13isp, which we had always thought rather
Ppretty than otherwise, was quite painfully
perceptible when she strained her voice She
thus dismissed her importunate but unde-
sirable lover The was Alfred Archer, by the
way:
81 tell you, Thir Charleth, thcorn your
wealth and your titleth. Unhand me, thir,
thay."
Now, at this last outbreak, Sir Charles,
who did not know his part very we'll and was
rather bashful, should have been passionately
clasping her hand but was, instead, standing
at the other end of the stage and telling his
love from behind q chair. This slight dis
crepancy between the speech and the situation
naturally raised a litter at Lulus expense,
especially among those who knew how mat
ters stood between her and young Archer.
This performance satisfied family ambition
for the time, and histrionics with us bid fair
to die natural death, when Ned Warning
came up from New York to pay us visit.
Ned, who was some sort of third cousin TO
my wife, was a capital fellow and a great
savorite, but, like the rest of them, he was
stage struck, and the theatrical fury broke
OUT anew 1 had to explain to sew"
eral visitors that none of the family
were "off,n and that when any of
them were seen walking around the house,
muttering to themselves, they were only
learning their ''parts" One evening old Mr..
Tavistock was down in the library talking
over vestry matters He was after sub
scription to the new organ, and was trying
to think how in some way could politely
get rid of him, when a voice, bursting appar-
emily out of the very wall, caused him to
Jump from his chair and drop his paper in
thegreatest alarm:
"Gfve me revenge, and you may have the
ring"
"Oh, that this band of gold were changed
. to steel to clinch his traitorous neck, then
might die content"
await moment" said I, grasping the old
Gentleman by the lapel of his coat there
no danger, nor is this a private lunatic
9dsylum, as you might suppose. My wife and
daughters are merely rehearsing their parts
In the drama of The Magic Ring" How
ever, he did not wait for my subscription.
But now have to relate how l myself got
70 the dramatic swim, so to speak, the
I lse of it being nothing less than the dis
~ very of a manuscript play, written by me
I|# any years ago during period Of literary
nhition Twenty years of dust had gathered
w the yellow leaves In the top drawer of an
" u secretary, where my wife discovered
em, but she and the girls had read the play
rough carefully, and declared at once that
must be acted. Such capital work should
II be lost through any false modesty on the
= Srt of the author. OF course dear papa was
lite right about young ladies displaying
emselves in public: both girls agreed to
* ht kissing me at the same time to empha-
b the admission, but this was altogether
tferent case, and, In short, the author in
Ar was so flattered, and the parent so pro-
lated that preparations were begun the
very next day for the performance Of "The
&c gerness"
b naughty and high bred mother, with the
$500 of her two naughty and handsome daugh.
3, amiably conspire to entrap an heiress
her also handsome but level headed son.
if conspirators seldom reckon with the un-
N Spected, which in this instant turns out to
WILMA Miss Hetty Greenfield, governess in the
house to the two youngest children. This
&Hetty, whose true name is subsequently dis
kovered to be Henrietta Van Rensselaer,,
Manages to carry, under q rather depressing
- plain exterior, the regulation heroine OUT
10 of virtues and accomplishments, besides
|rning up in due time as the neglected scion
|'& O noble house and the possessor of very
betty rent roll. She carries Off the smitten
while the heireSs, who now 'iscovers
oh ,,ava,- hod a fhnFroht in that dir,aS.-