The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-07-28
POOLING THE OLD MAN,

\ The following, written by NJ. Qua. thirteen years ago and frst publishes in the Detroa ESee Press, had mucl to do with the making of the writer reputation as humorist:
 Mir. Eraser, who lives on Norst avenue, has & son twelve years old named Claudius, and the other even ing this boy received permission to al low a neighbor's boy to stay all nighi with him. The old people slept dowf stairs in the sitting room, and the boy were put In room directly above When they went up to bed Claudiu, had tho clothes limo under his coat and the neighbor's boy had mask ir his pocket. They didn't knecl down and say their prayers like good boy, and then jump into bed and tell bear stories, but AS soon as the door was locked the Eraser boy remarked;
 "You'il sec more fun around hcrc to- night than would lie on ten-acrc lotw
 From closet they brought out a cast off suit of Brasser's clothes, stuffed them with whatever come handy, tied the mask and iii old straw hat on for head, and while ono boy was caro- fully raising the window, tho other was ty ing the clothes. line around tho 'man." The image was lowered down In front of tho sitting room window, lifted up once or twice, and old Bras. ser was heard to leap out of bed with q great jar. He was juscbeginning to dozc when he heard sounds under his window, and his wite suggested that it was a COW In the yard. He got up, pulled the curtain away, and as he be- held a man standing there he shouted
 "Great heavens but It's rohber p' and he jumped into bed.
 "Theodorius Brasser, are you . fool2" screamed the wifc, as he mo- nopolized all the bcdeiothes to cover up his head.
 "Be quiet, you old jade you!" hc whispered; "perhsps he'll go away '!
 Don't you call me jade" she rc- piled, reaching over and trying to find his hair. "Glt up and git the gun and blow his head off"
 "Oh; you do it!"
 "Git up, you old coward" she snapped. "ril never live with you another day If you don't do itp
 Brasser turned up the lamp, sat up in bed and shouted out;
 "ls that you, boyst"
 "Mcrcy on me, git upl" yelled the wife, as the straw man was knocked against the window"
 "l'il blow his head off as clean as milk P said Brasser in loud voice AS he got up. He struck the stove three or four times, upset a chair and reached behind the foot of the bed and drew out an old army musket.
 "Now, then, for blood !" he con tinued, as he advanced to the window and lifted the curtains.
 The man was there, face close 10 the glass, and he had such a malignant ex- prcssion of c0untenance that Brasser jumped back with cry of alarm.
 "Kill him! shoot him down, you old noodlehead '" screamed the wife.
 "I will--by thunder! 1 will" rosred BrasAer, and he blazed away, and tore out nearly ali the lower sash.
 The boys upstairs uttered yell and "A groan, and Brasser jumped for the window to sec II the man was down. He wasn't. He stood right there, and he made leap at Iirasser.
 "He's coming iBi--perlice boy g {! ho perlice |" roared the old man.
 The tattered curtain permitted Mrs. Brasser to catch sight of a man jump ing up and down, and she yelled
 "Theodorious, Pm going to faint !''
 "Faint and be darDed Boys!--per- lice !" he replied, walloping the sheet. iron stove with \ poker.
 "Don't you dare talk that way to me !" shrieked the old woman, recov. eriDg from her desire to faint.
 "Po. Ieecei Po- leecep now cane from the boys up stairs, and while one continued to shout the other drew the man up, tore him limb from limb, and secreted the pieces.
 Ptfefai HeikHWts WStS hFousSuy hu officer came up from the station, and \ search of the prcmisca was made. Nos so much as track in the snow was found, and the officer put on an injured look and said .o Mir. Eraser:
 "A guilty conscien6e needs no sc. cuser."
 "That's so,: ciiorusei tbs iBdIgusn. neighbors, as they departed.
 As Mr. Brasser hung quilt before the shattered window, he remarked to his wife:
 Now, zee what an old cundurango you made of yourselfl"
 "Don't fling an insult at me, or pll choke the sttenuated piece of you P she replied.
 The boys kicked around on the bed. chucked each other under the ribs, and