The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-08
BRIGHT BITS.

BECAUSE we pronounce would" wood 1t does
not follow that we pronounce Gould" good
HARVARD Ldmpo0R.
GENTLEMAN TO consunptive friend)-You
walk very slow, Sam.
Sam-Yes, but I'm going very fast.-Tid- Bits
Won't HAVE TO GO FAR rown-Dumley, /
want to buy a dog
Dumley-That'S a good idea Brown. | think
every man ought to own dog.
Brown-Do you know where can get a good
one?
Dumley-Yes; I'll sell you mine.-Harpers
BdzGr.
THE Rothschilds are SAID to be engaged in an
effort to control the diamond products of the
world. The Rothschds are a powerful family
but when they deliberately rush into a compet-
tive fight with our native hotel clerks their
name IS no longer Rothschild, but Dennis
Front! Show Mr.. Rothschild to No. a. 49, twelfth
story, rear!-BiltghGntton Republican.
A CHINAMAN who arrived at Boston from
Liverpool on Thursday not permitted to
land, because his paper was not properly filled
out. If the heather had disguised himself as
soil stained long haired German Socialist and
expressed determination to howl against the
laws of the United States, no one would have
attempted to prevent him from landing
No1riStolcn Herald.
ANOTHER MISUNDERSTANDING Wall Street
Broker have long loved your daughter, sir
and | would like to make her my wife.
Old Man--What are your prospects in life?
Broker-Well. sir Russell Sage told me yes
terday that things never looked brighter, and
that in a few days the whole list would be boom
ing. So Invent short to the extent of my margin
Old Man-Take her, Napoleon.-The Sun.
IN WALLACE, Mo, men carry revolvers when
they go TO prayer meetings. few evenings
ago slight difficulty arose after the singing of
the good old hymn, Il Would Not Live Away, /"
and three men whipped out SiX-ShooterS and
began to blaze away. 1t looked for a few
minutes as if all present would find difficulty in
hVip to Of
alone living "alway. Chicago Morning NeloS
WHAT ALLIED SMITH-A plainly dressed man
who introduced himself Mr.. John Smith
walked into a doctors office, and having ex-
planned his symptoms, asked the doctor how
long it would take to cure him The doctor
who had treated the visitor with every possible
courtesy, replied: You will require several
years careful treatment under my personal
supervision before you are perfectly well; but
think Mr.. Smith, you will be able to resume
your labors in the bank in about two months -
Doctor, you are fobling yourself; l am not
Smith the banker, but Smith the street car
driver"
rs that sol Well, my good fellow, I don't
see what you came to me for. There is nothing
the matter with You except that you are not a
banker. '-IerdS SiJttngs.
A PERFECT UNDERSTANDING Yes remem
Der that little bill owe you-remember it per-
fectly well, and in fact, thought of it just as l
got in town, said a man in reply to some one
who had dunned him. Let me see Where
will you be at 4 O'Clock this afternoon-at 4
SHARPE"
AT the hotel"
IAN right; be at the hotel at 4 sharp"
Collins said an acquaintance, you are
very plausible fellow. You know that you do
not intend to pay that fellow"
We'll, no, that's fact"
Then why did you want to know where he
would be at o'clock"
so | could time myself accordingly. If I
know where he is at 4 o'clock | will be some
where else at that time. In this life my dear
boy, to have perfect understanding is to avoid
many embarrassing situations. - ArkanSatU
Traveller.