Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1888-12-27
MIR. BowsER HAS THEORIES


MIR. BOwSER HAS THEORIES.
Mrs. Bowers Account Of Them.
From the Detroit Free Press
Mr.. Bowser doesn't intend to Let sickness or
death get ahead Of Us as . family il any effort
of his can prevent, and he is always doing the
right thing in the nick Of time. One day he
came home an hour ahead OF time, his counte-
nance wearing very important look, and the
first thing he did was to bolt upstairs TO our
bedroom and lower the window, although I had
Just closed it after airing the room for two
hours. He then came Gathering down to ask
me for pan.
.swhat on earth do you want with q pan2' !
asked.
ITO save all our hves!" he answered.
s'How?"
"Ycur bedroom is full of poisonous gases.
which must be absorbed by an open vessel of
water"
'Nonsense!"
81 expected ii. That's the weapon Of the
ignorant! Mrs. Bowser, IL you want to die by
poisonous gases poisoning the blood, have
nothing to say. but shall save the life of our
child il possible. have felt a strange lassi-
tude for several days, and a sanitary plumber
tells me that we have poisonous air in the
ROOM"
''Your lassitude couldn't have come from
being out to club and lodge four successive
nights until - O'Clock, could it?"
He seized the pan and hurried upstairs, and
when he had filled it at the lavatory he sat it
in the middle of the floor and came down with
q relieved look on his face, to say:
''See if you don't feel better tomorrow than
you have for month. It's wonder we are
not all dead"
''Did the ancients know about these poison
GUS gases?' asked.
thought
''And yet the average of health was II per
cent above that of to-day, and the average Of
account for it?'
''Oh, well, if you want to die, go ahead. I'll
even buy the rope and help you to hang YOUR
self. l expected this, of course, but ridicule
never moves me, Mrs. Bowser-never."
Two hours later he went upstairs in his slip
pers to look for paper in another coat, and
OF course, he sat his foot plump down in that
pan of water. There was yell and a Jump,
and over went the pan, and when got up there
he stood holding up one leg, as you have seen
a hen do on wet day. What said on that
occasion kept Mr.. BOwser very quiet for a
whole week. Then he began to grow restless
again, and one night he brought home sus-
plclous-looking package and sneaked it up
stairs. After supper he suddenly disappeared,
and when 1 looked for him upstairs he had
over gas-burner.
s'Mr. Bowser, have you got new theory" I
asked
''Look here, Mrs. Bowser," he replied as he
put down the basin, "you have heard of
bacteria .sxad presume"
"They are the germs of disease faoati NO
about. They are alive. If inhaled, cholera,
yellow fever and other dread diseases are the
result. Fumigation kills them"
And you are going to fumigate this room!'
bacteria"
well, you'll drive us out of the house or kill
u.s."
went down stairs and he burned a COM
pound OF tar and sulphur. In ten minutes we
had to open doors and windows and the cook
came running in to ask:
rs it crematory Mr.. Bowser is trying on us?"
.! am simply driving out the bacteria" he
replied, coming down the stairs at that mo-
ment.
"And there's bacteria in the house?"
I'm afraid So"
'And I've worked here four weeks under the
noses Of the dreadful creatures? Mr.. Bowser,
quits! quits nowr'
And quit she did, We had to sleep on the
sitting-room floor last night. and three weeks
later every caller could detect that odor. 1t
was hardly gone however, when Mr.. Howser
began to sniff around again
ANY more bacterial" asked.
Mrs. Bowser, If you want to sit here and
de have no objections, but don't propose to
neglect common.sense precautions to preserve
my own health
us anything wrong now?"
Il think So: 1 think can detect an odor of
sewer-gas in the house."
Impossible! 1 shan't have no more stuff
burned until know it is necessary
Wont you? II there is sewer-gas here it
must be eradicated at once"
FOR the next week the entire house smelled
OF chloride OF lime until one could hardly
draw long breath, but Mr.. Bowser was not
satisfied. INV
II have been thinking, he said In mo ono
evening, that may bring the germs Of some
terrible disease home in my clothes. ride on
the car, you know, and ought to take precau-
tons" r S'A"
.'How?"
''Carry disinfectant about me to rama, IN.
germs" f'- WIG
1T might be a good idea"
NOW you are talking sense. Now you seem
TO understand the peril which has menaced
u.s." -'','''e"
He got something downtown the next dav
l tnihh some OF his friends put up Job on
INN, Knowing his craze. 1t was a compounl
winch left him alone ON the street car before
ne had ridden three blocks, and he had M
sooner got into the house than we had To retira
to the back doors. The cook got a sniff of il
and down went the dinner and ND went her
r..
"A man will keep skunk under his bousa
would beat me out of my wages and I'll be
goin' this minutel'
IL took soap aud water and perfumery and
naif days time TO remove the odor and when
declared that 1t was the last straw Mr. Bowser
crossed his hands under his coat-ta;ls anJ 70
Piled:
Mrs. Bowser, believe this house to be clear
OF bacteria, owing to my prudence and self
sacrifice. and want to keep it so.''
Il suppose got 'em here?"
Without doubt, madaYnr'
And all this ruInpus has been on NV ac-
COUNT" my W.
Exactly. But don't go too far with me
Enough Is enough. You must stop right where
you are. have humored you all / propose
She Narries Chinaman.
A New Haven special to the Philadelphia
Times saws: Miss Ida T. Snauld,r n .oNI-