The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-11-30
CARL DUNDER ON HE ELECTION
He Pronounces American Politics a
Failure From g. Betting Standpoint.
Lr,.ol.

He Pronounces American Politics a
Failure From g. Betting Standpoint.
From the Detroit Free Press.
HE vhas no use" sighed Carl Dunder as
he entered the Woodbridge Street police
station and dropped into a chair.
ITO what do you refer| queried Serg
Bendall.
ITO some politics. l shan't nefer try to
understand him again. l vhas all busted
oop und broke down"
Howe"
"Vhell, der poys come in my blaze two
months ago und say to me: 'Oldt mans, go
in ind bet on Cleafand. He vhas der man
to get there. He Will schweep der coun-
try
''Vhell, ] like to make some money, and
so | bet feefty dollars on Clea1and 1t
Wasn't fife days before some poy comes il
my place und yells out: 'Hooray for Harri-
son! He vhas der poy who knocks 'em all
out! Say, old mans, if you like to make
some money bet on Harrison. He vhas der
Teller to sweep dis country
"Vheil, | pellet dot, und l bet feefty
dollar on Harrison: Poorly soon an alder
man comes in my blaze for glass of beer
und says: Say, Dunder, don't You be some
FOOLS If you haf some money oop on
Cleafands, take her down right AWAY
Dot election Will knock him out like a
crowbar'
dat scares me like eaferytings, und |
gift fife dollar to withdraw my bet. 1t
Wasn't fife DAYS before anoder alderman
comes in my lace to say: Hello! Dunder,
hef you make shackass of YOURSELF Hows
Why, dot Harrison vhas for der Chinese
und high taxes, und we shall scoop him
high und dry. He shall nefer know who
hit him. Let me advise you as friendt
not to put any money on him.
''Vhell, dot scares ME again, und l gif
ten dollar to withdraw my bet ON him."
II see. Go on"
"Vhell, poorly soon Teller comes aroundt
NIT a banner on which vhas painted, Chip
man Headquarters und he says: Look
here, Mister Dunder, like to gif you a
pointer Chapman vhas sure to get there.
Put ooD this banner und GO NIT der swim.
''Vhell, | like to 60 ind swim, SO | tell
him to nail it oop. 1t looks poorly nice, but
he vhas oop only one day before a Teller
comes along NIT a banner which reads:
Baker Headquarters-Der Poy for our
Votes und he says: Say, oldt mans, don't
get left. Baker vhas going IN by 5000
majorities, und if you Wasn't Baker man
you vhas greenhorn. Put dis oop as queek
as you can
''Vhell, put him oop, und Baker vhas
left out in der cold, SO vhas /"
at is sad, sighed the sergeant.
''You bet NIT me it vhas! A Teller comes
in my blaze und looks all aroundt und
whispers: Say, Dunder, if you like to make
money, bet on Mr. Youngblood. He goes
in by 5000 ahead of Littlefield; vhas In
side, und l know
"Vhell, make bet of feefty dollar, but
pooty soon Teller comes in, calls me into
corner, und says: "Mister Dunder, you
vhas all right NIT der boys, und 1 like to
see you ahead. Bet two to Que on Little
field. Dot vhas straight Dot scares me so
l can't sleep nights"
"You lost your fiftyH
"Of course! lose on more ash ten men,
but vhas to blame! WAS / some green
horns to bet? Here comes a man who says
dot Gov. Burt vhas shust so shure as
next winter, und he likes to glf me n pointer.
Next comes man who says he Will bet his
lung dot Luce runs vhay ahead, und he
likes to gift me a chance to scoop der poys.
How vhas | to tell!'
you CAN'T
"Und so | lose more ash two hoonered
dollar, und vas all preke oop."
You'd better let politics alone after
this"
Sergeant, see me in der left eyel If |
haf some more to do NIT politics in dis
cuuntry, like to be sent to der crazy
house! Next time don't vote for nopody.
und if somepody comes to gif me pointers |
break him in to so queek he can't boiler!
wash all mixed oop. Eferypody vhas
elected-eferypody runs vhay ahead
eferypody WINS sure. und nopody comes out
like he oxpecus-nopody but me, und vhas
vegetables"