The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1888-01-27
A "FORT'NIT" BID.
Josiah Bartlett's Investment at an
"On Hand" Sale.

Now Josiah Bartlett, don't you go
foolin' round tibet deceivin' On Hand
saler' said Melissa Bartlett, a tall, an
gular woman with sharp ferreting eyes,
a sharp nose, and a general air of cal
culatiOn and management about her.
Nov MISSY, don't bust yer biler,"
replied the husband, soothingly, "ther1
be a triic EXPLOSION some of these
days eff We don't stop gittin' up so
much steam. Now why KNIT l step
inter tibet inherent ON Hand sale;
faint nOways likely ez the 'xpress
company'n auction off any worthless
packages, an who knows but I'll get
you a black silk dress pattern, like
neighbor Jonsing ded last year." he
added, persuasively.
silk dress pattern, indeed!" said
Melissa, her sharp nose curling upward
in the extremity of her disdain, more
like yen bring home a coffin plate, er
pair % dancin' shoes, er tombstun
weth another mans name cut intew
it; I've got your auction performances
all by heart, Josiah Bartlett" she pur-
sued, in higher key, as the memory
of past grievances rose up before her.
can jest the other day you wuz
breggin' what a capytil doorstep tibet
tombstun made" said the old man,
triumphantly, FAN l cuddent a got a
stun doorstep fur bubble what l paid
fur the tombstun."
IAN who knows but the poor creetur
ct wuz made for gets the good ont by
comm here o. nights an settin' ont, s"
replied Melissa, in a ''you don't beat
me tone"
Let i'm come eff cts any satisfaction
tn 'im," said Josiah feelingly, ''gives
i'm chance tn cool off, an Of his wife
wetb i'm mebbe twill save i'm from
gettin' stun deaf, >" and JOSIAH tumblod
out of the door in hurry as Melissa
reached for the brOomstick. and the
ancient sinner Rugged himself outside
at the thought that for once he had had
the last word, monopoly which Me-
LISA insisted on as her sole right.
The beatenest man." said Melissa.
pursuing the subject for the benefit OF
the little dressmaker who was ''doing
over" her best alpaca, as the sound OF
her husbands footsteps died away,
''it's o. no use warnin' him, for he can
no more keep away from an auction
than an Irishman kin keep out of g
fight"
"Um-m. said little Miss Irons in .
non-cOmmittal manner; she was a wise
woman, in her day and generation, and
knew better than to NEEDLE with family
jars "How did you want these sleeve,
finished at the wrist, Mrs. Bartlett?"
'Well, l was calkerlatin tn hev cufl,
of the velvit," said Melissa, with lively
interest, II allowed rs ther'd be enough
fur cuffs an collar en- tibet remind,
me-" she exclaimed, going back to tn,
unfinished subject. ''Josier did make
one good bargin ct ELI auction sev'ril
years ago; he bid off real silk velvi
cape fur a dollar'n a lief, an 1 mad,
mo bunnit an trimmed up my ole
silk so'st it looked ez nice ez new"
Have you forgotten that ovcrcoat
mothcr?" said Jennie, tall, black
eyed lassie, her fathers idol by tn,
way, "that pa bid off for two dollar
and sold for five before he left tn,
auction room?"
No, child" replied Melissa, quit
Modified, "Tu edmit yer pa hez mad
some good bargains, but they're lik
some other things, few an far be
twiNt.n
Jennie was a shrewd young woman
and devotedly attached to her father
aud in view Of the fact that his return
home might not be altogether pleasan
it, as upon numerous other occasions
= 4
ful utility, she flew about with NOR
than her usual celebrity, and so iftel
the burden of her mothers work tina
she was in an unusually rested and ami
able frame of mind when evening az
preached, and finally finished her goo
work by getting up her mothers f.
vulite dishes for tea, which was daintl
spread i'm the cheerful Kitchen whe
Josiah arrived home from, alas fo
mans inherent depravity! the 20
Hand" sale.
In every express Office there is "a
accumulation Of articles, mis-directcd
mcalled for and rejected, which on be
ing kept certain time. are eollecte
together at "a central point. and sold q
auction; nearly every thing magins
hAt - AhtitAt LAARlNs sNlAtt as tltt must q
the articles are done up in packages
there are funny revelations when thes
are undono.
Nov, MISSY, ef We won't scolt
I'll show YOU my pu' chases, - said j
siah. as his wife swallowed the Ia,
mouthful Of her favorite cream cake.
Il knew you'd go to thet salc!'' sal
Melissa, resignedly. The deliciou
supper had produced the desired effec
wall, yes; neighbor Stebbins wu
coin'. an he wuz tibet sot on my goil
few thot / cuddent refuse reptile
Josiah, apologeticRlly, and going {
the door he brought in several bur
dies. and lastly large box from III
piazza
The land o. massy! what hev yo
got now?" calculated Melissa, ''sul
more tombstunsP
Patty nigh heavy enough Sol