The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1888-04-19
A GRIEVANCE.
Senator Spooner Has Heard from the Man
Who Voted and Worked for Him.

About the best thing in the way of
I take-off is letter of a constituent to
! Senator Spooner The name OF the
writer is not given, but it could have
been written by no other than George
! w. Peck, of Peck's Milwaukee San.
! - is mighty good and humorous, and
reads as follows:
! My Dear John. You and | have al
ways been friends ever since we first
became acquainted. | have tried to
be good friend to you. You remem-
| Der when you were first mentioned
! for Senator, some paper published up
| North said you were an ''alumnus"
1 OF the State University, and that | de-
/ Tended you against the charge of being
an "alumuus" to the best of my abil-
| ity. l said had known you for years
and had never known you to do any
! thing that could cause any one to call
/ you such names, and | offered to whip
the man who called you an "alumnus."
/ mention this to call your attention to
! the fact that | have always stood by
you. | have not, / am sure, merited
| any such treatment as | am receiving
at your hands. l allude to the habit
you have of sending me public docu-
ments. | suppose, really. your pri-
vate secretary is to blame, but want
| you to dc re the favor to kill him.
You remember that you once told me
/ that L could draw on you at any time
for any favor. Now, ask you to kill
this man. The first year that you
were Senator l read everything you
sent me. The first thing that came
was census report, and | read that
| through from Genesis to Revelations,
sitting up nights when l ought to
have been in bed. l thought l was
showing my loyalty to you, and | got
SO could repeat page after page of
those figures with one hand tied be-
| hind me. Before had got to where
the hero marries the girl in the census
report, you sent me the report of the
| Pablic Printer, and | put in my eve
nings for weeks on that, and then the
Patent Office reports began to come,
and the reports of the Agricultural
Bureau, with occasional department
reports. l was on my last lap and
read all OF those reports, except about
/ a cord and a half, when | began to re-
ceive small documents from you in
! envelopes, and | thought what a nice
time | would have reading them; but
to-day | opened some of them, and [
| hope to die if they are not speeches on
| the tariff. do not wish to complain,
but honestly, John, don't you think
that is spreading it on rather thick?
! No man tries harder than | do, and
no man sticks by friend longer than
! l do, and it does seem to me there
ought to be some way in which | can
snow my loyalty to you without read
/ ing those tariff speeches. Once | was
young and full of vinegar, and could
read old back number-speeches of
| statesmen and enjoy them, but late
years. since my hair has departed and
| rheumatism and neuralgia taken its
| place, l have to read something light,
OF. don't sleep. Send me some more
! statistics, with plenty of figures in, for
L can glance over page of them and
sort of jump accounts and average it
up, but these speeches are going to
! break me down.
The last speech you sent me was
Senator Sherman's toboggan slide on
the tariff If Sherman got you to send
it to me l wish you would see him and
explain to him that while | would do
I bAhtAi LII lSooou III Olts hC lnuSG
| excuse me from reading it. l don't
want to hurt his feelings or yours, and
| don't want to break the friendship
that has existed so long between you
| and me, but, by the Eternal John, |
won't read that tariff speech. You may
! think | have grown cold and haug atty,
but how would you feel if you had to
read those speeches just to oblige
| friend? If there is anything | can do
| for you that is reasonable, call on me.
| Only the other day | was talking
| about you to a Republican, and he said
he guessed he would have to 90 back on
| you the next time you were up for SEN
ator, because you hadn't sent him any
documents. l gave him lot of those
you sent to me, and told him you sent
| them to him in my care, and he is all
| solid for you now, though | had to lie.
will lie for you, John, or do anything
| that does not cause wear and tear of
/ brain, but you must let me off on the
tariff speeches.
7. S.-Say, John, there is a party of
US coming down to Washington pretty
| soon lobbying for the Postofiice APP
| preparation. | have told them we
could 90 right to your house. Is that
all right? You could make us up a
| lot of beds on the floor in the parlor.
/ have told them | knew you so well
that it would be all right to 90 right
to the house any time of night. Leave
/ the key under the door-mat and chain
/ up the dog. By the way, it isn't lust
the thing to suggest, but you ought to
have few eases of bottled beer
where We sleep, not for publica-
ton, but as an evidence of good
/ faith. And don't fail to have Mlwau-
kee beer, as we are little sensitive.
/ Well, good bye. Don't forget to see
Sherman Washington Special.