Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-11-24
WEALTH.
BY THOS. p. CRANE.

WEALTH.
BY THOS. P. CRANE.
<%szfetss szsk the natural
G@M|,l - Sifistinc af man to
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tz-gSS:ss ,a;.ex TTWf.pj icSrest order OF
;scszss1[rIM <~ intelligence are
~ -SSE not aVtTse to {
AEI.SF - good supply o.
SsAz.S this worl Il
R s ESS doe, III not s% ea1e
for money is not
in a hcalthful condition Of mind Som
love money so intensely tiit+ they CAR
love or enjoy nothing else. Sucli men
ate ttartyr, to the golden c"lf." They
wculd like 10 90 to heaven where they
could sit and cotint golden eagles from
morn till eve, and dine lind sup ON deli
cate viands smothered with didni0nds
and pearls. The misar is monomani
a. upon the subject of money. He is
the most unfortunate fool in the world.
He hasn't sense enough to realize
that liz is boarding. suffering,
and starving, to tho end that lie may
leave his glittering geld to thieves
or spendthrifts. as the case may
be. Ii ever l should become
miser, ! would take good care that no
Lazy lout of spendthrift should get
my money when 1 shuttle off this
mortal coil. l sometimes won
der if the miser would love
gold So very much if it was
talu, Il only by reason of its good looks.
This is Il question which philosophers
have tried N vain to answer Fl, ~ time
out of date. Some philosophers be-
llcve that miser loves gold becausa 1t
glittcrs, aid not because it has pur-
chasing power. The misar does not
tent, but he loves to see it glitter.
Come men have fondness for accumu-
lating little wealth so that they can
enjoy themselves by entering into an
excruciating and facilitating "tare, or
spree. They become painfully and
wonderfully intoxicated, and are glad
to become sober again. They then
80 about their business again, and
afe looking forward to the time
when they shall again enter upon
drunken career Some men hoard
up little money-enougl1 to start
them in some line of business. When
they think they have labored fer 9th
ers long enough and have laid aside
enough money to start themselves in
business, they quit work and hire men
to help them in their own business.
These kind of people are level-hended.
I lot nI a
about the meridian of life they retire
from active business and proceed to
take things easy. SOME men are so
persistent and untiring in their efforts
to become millionaires of mammoth
proportions, that they know not what it
is to enjoy n good nights rest.
They stir up anarchists and cranks.
They never pay their employees any
more wages than they can help. 1t is
really impossible for grasping monop-
olist to pay Caucasian &l.1O per day
if there is Il Chinaman in the vicinity
WHO will work for Sl.05. How can
sensible worhin2man expect it? If
laborer is not satisfied with his wages,
LEI him quit drinking cheap liquor,
save his money and become capital
list. 1t is so easy, you know. Ii his
genius does not seem TO run in that
groove, he could try his hand at pro-
fessional baseball. 1t is SO delight
fully easy to contemplate and view from
the grand stand. They might practice
with cannon balls, taking precaution
to wear clothes made from boiler-iron.
This is necessary, for cannons
are often dosed heavily with powder
A cannon ball escaping from an over
charged cannon is often as dangerous
as hot ball escaping from the paws Of
crack curve pitcher. By little
practice with cannon balls a person
would be able to handle the swift
League ball with impunity, barring u
few Inconvenience, such rs broken
fingers and sore hands. If the wage
worker finds baseball too painful an
occupation for him, he might try his
luck at the plumbing business. 1t is
quite ali easy and quick road to wealth.
This fact is easily proven. Look up
The statistics on plumbing compiled by
oar most eminent humorists. All
humorsts agree that plumbers make
lots OF money, and lead an easy life.
1 myself have never had any use for a
plumber excepting in extreme cases of
necessity. An exploded water-pipe is
an extreme case with me, and the
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