Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1888-08-08
some Pick wickian Reasons Why You
Should Support Harrison
and Morton.

EditO or Spectator Every man VINO mas q
grain ofsense or q grain Of wheat knows what
a rat is. All rational people know that rats
eat grain, chickens and babies. Stryhcnine.
rough on rats and other poisons are used to de-
stroy rats, but more children than rats are
thus destroyed. Chinese eat rats. but as there
are few Cinnamon in America, there are many
rats. From the census there are by actual
count sixty million rats In the United States !;
from statistics we find that they destroy an
nually sixty million bushels of grain, thirty
million chickens, and ten thousand babies.
The rat is the pest of America and the rabbit
of Australia. Rabbits have multiplied SO pro-
digiously in Australia that they destroy the
grainfelds and sheep pastures, and the de.
struction of the young forests is seriously ap-
pretended, So alarming have become their
depredations that the Australian government
has offered a large sum Of money for their ex-
termination. No steps have as yet been taken
by our govern ment to eradicate the rat. but
If the nomination of Harrison is ratified by
the people America will become as free from
rats as Ireland is of snakes. The "Grand Old
Party" has not, like John the Baptist. fulfilled
its mission. 1t has yet another, grand and
national in its character. Its accomplishment
is at hand as this syllogism would indicate:
The rat is the enemy of the farmer.
The Chinaman is the enemy of the rat.
Harrison is the friend of the Chinaman and
being the friend of the Chinaman he is neces-
sarily the enemy of the rat.
Therefore he is the friend of tho farmer, Har-
rison can, If elected, introduc say ten million
Cinnamon, and II the sixty million rats are
divided pro rata-the ratio will be as ten is to
sixty, thus each Cninaman would eat six rats.
and that would be the end of Mr., Rat. Nor is
hit oJI TnJ,r, 1t
PRODUCTION would create a home market for
rice, and Tins rice as well as rats would go up.
Well can every patriot exclaim in the Ian
guage Of Terentius Varro. after the battle of
Canine, 81 do not despair of the Republic"
1t was said of Dundee that one blast from
his buge horn was worth ten thousand men,
but what is that. in compar son with the loud
sounding trumpet of the puissant Harrison
at whose blast sixty million rats will expire.
What would it avail us,my countrymen,i If hav
ing EXTERN mated tb e Indian we should sue
cumb to the Rodent. But let us look at this
subject in another aspect. Opium has the same
effect on a Chinaman that ginger has on
horse; altho applied at different ends, strange
to say the result is the same in the end. In
bothIlnstances speed is ere ated. For example
take a Chnaman and give him say one rat. l
Id of rice. and ID of opium, and he will do
more work than five Irishmen, ten Germans
or twenty Americans will do in the sa me time
on the same rat-ions. Thus the Ger man,
Irish and Americans would give place to
Chinese quick labor an the Republicans
would kill three birds wi tn one Chinaman be-
sides creating home Market for;rice. And
again each China man at The came time he is a
rat exterminatOr would be a voter,a and as there
l. no end to the Chinese there would be no end
to the Republican party.
So rally to the banner of Harrison and Morton
Hurrah for John Chinaman be your cry,
Let that be the ticket you are supporter,
And you will get rid of the rats by and by.
Down with Cleveland and Thurman,
Up with the banner of Harrison and Morton;
Away with the Irish and the German,
And remember its for John Chinaman you
are votin' JNo. N. OPIE.
Republican papers please copy.