The Arkansaw traveler. (Little Rock, Ark.) 1882-1???, 1888-11-17
AMATEUR FARMING.
BIZ LUKE SHARP.

A person on an amateur farm Is, to
9 certain extent, isolated, and is at the
mercy of various marauders that infest
civilized-or, as am speaking of am
ateur farming, perhaps ! should say
semi civilized society. Tramps, book
agents, tree peddlers, lightning rod
men, insurance solicitors and all that
sort of terror have the amateur far
mer or his wife at their mercy. You
can't spring an electric arrangement
and call in policeman or out the fire
department if you turn the handle too
far. Even if you should shout for
help the neighbors are too distant to
hear you. Thus it is that my farm is
set out with kinds of trees that /
didn't want, and that the buildings
are covered with insurance and light
ming rods and that my book cases
groan with volumes. that no one ever
thinks of reading.
The book agent is terror, equaled
only by the fruit tree man. have
often sat up at nights bordering over
the question, (Which is the worse of
the two?" Sometimes l thought one
way, sometimes another, depending on
which of them visited me last. am
usually of the opinion that the book
agent is the worse, for the b. a. is gen.
orally woman.
The other week one Of them came
around but nobody was at home and
she contented herself with thrusting
under the door circular describing
the advantages of serial work, enti-
tied "The Pictorial History of SPAIN"
But what interested me most was
torn bit of paper which the agent had
dropped unawares and which was as
follows:
"PRIvATE AND CONFIDENTIAL.
"(N. B.-This must on no account
be shown even to your best friendly
cit is unfortunately now the case
that many persons object to call
from a book agent. Such being the
case it behooves the successful agent to
take more than ordinary care in ap-
preaching a customer 1t having been
reported to us that people have delib-
erately slammed the door in the faces
of our agents before u word could be
said, we have given the subject much
thought and have compiled set of
rules which, if strictly followed, is
sure to result in success:
"First-Dress like lady or gentle
man.
''Second-Have no parcel or book
visible.
"Third-To gain the confidence of
the person approached and obtain adj
mittance to the house proceed as"
There it left off just at the most ex-
asperating point. Not even "to be
continued" at the end of it. The pa
per was torn across and / was torn
with anxiety to know just how the
agent got in and how she won my
confidence.
The week after that I wasn't at
home much. House-cleaning time is
popularity supposed to be the most
trying period of life for the unfortu-
nate man of the family. /, of course,
try to avoid the dwelling then as
much as possible; but, in my opinion,
house cleaning isn't q Circumstance to
the tomato canning struggle. Then
the place takes on Q fearful and San
culinary appearance. There Is to me
something appalling In the sight of
the woman Of the house with sleeves
rolled up to tho elbow and the form
erly fair arm dripping with the crim-
son gore of the slaughtered tomato.
The house reeks with the Odor Of boil
ing tomatoes. Rows Of grim, blue
beard jars stand on the shelves of this
vegetarian butchery and others empty
yawn for blood. ain such o place a.
this and at such an hour" it IL just a.
well for the insignificant man person
to keep away from home. In the heat
of the carnage the lady Of the house
doesn't want to zee the best friend abe |
has on earth-much less her husband. |
Just as the tomato saturnalia was at |
its hight, there came q ring ct the |
door-bell. The girl went to the door
and came back with neat card In her
hand on which were beautifully en-
graved the words edith BIotter-
wick"
"Dear me-" said the lady Of the |
house, wiping her tomato stained |
hands on the kitchen towel and taking |
the card. 81 don't want to see any
body. / don't remember that name. |
What did she look like? Had she a |
parcel9"
"No, ma'am."
ais she an agent, do you Think"
"She don't look like one.s
"Had size subscription book in her
hand?n
mo, ma'am, nothing but nice par
asol with lace on it.
"Did You show her In the parlor?"
ayes, ma'am-S
"Then tell her, please, that PI1 be
down In few minutes.@
i With that the worried woman rsaI