The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-03-11
BRIGHT BITS.

BoBBY-Ma. wasn't there anybody left in the
Garden of Eden after Adam and Eve were
turned out?
Mother-No, Bobby.
Bobby after thought)--Well, who fed the ami
mals:-NeU York sun
TENANT a mar calls me a liar l will kill
him.
New Yorker-well, if man should call me a
liar, | would tel him that was simply his
opinion about it. Now which one of us is the
most civiliz sd?-The Colonel.
MISS PTTrsBURG Visiting in Chicago)-Of
course you have heard of the new language,
Volapuk.
Miss Wabash-Oh, yes; but il won't be sue
ceSsful in this town.
Miss PlttSburg-Why?
Miss Wabash-Tt has no equivalent for rats"
PtttS6ltig Chronicle.
FRIEND hear that you have married lately.
Benediot--Yes, am married man.
Allow me to congratulate you on the happy
event"
Thank you. Ny wife is modest little
woman"
II should infer so from her choice of hus-
band. '-1er0S SiftinQs.
REPORTER (confdentially)-rve discovered
some awful abuses in one of the city depart
mentS.
t1utor-Glorlous, Write EN- up, double lead
1t and-what party do the rascals belong to?
ours"
These municipal scandals are mighty dull
reading; the public don't care for EN-; go out
and see ii you can pick UP good lively cock
fight or something. '-O0suhG World.
fascinating TRAMP lat kitchen door)-Did 1
not smell buckwheats as was passing2
Host (appearng suddenly instead of expected
DOM stic)-You die my friend, undoubtedly
and you owe me 50c. for the smell, You can
pay in cash or saw it out in wood.
Tramp (pale with apprehension)-W-w
iSnt this private house?
Host-No Sir; this is the Benevolent Brothers
Charitable Home for the Friendless. Come-to
the woodpile with you and pay for your break
faSt.-Blrdette.
ST.. PETre-Tue+ come from EARTH have you?
New Arrival-Yes, sire
What business were you in there?"
81 was a policeman"
USED to sleep ON your beat supposeY'
Certainly"
why do you think you should be admitted
hereg"
Il never arrested anybody as w B. Tascott."
$50 right in and be measured for a robe. -
Lincoln Journal
BRIDGET, the house is cold. I really think
the furnace must be out. l wish you would see
if it is"
Bridget saw and reported to the lady of the
house
"Sure, mum, the furnace is all right"
The house grew colder and again the mistress
referred to Bridget.
Are You sure the furnace is not outY" in
quired the lady anXiOusly.
Sure lam, mum The furnace is there all
right. It's the fire that's out, mum. "-Detrcit
Free Press.
81 THINK that the modern woman has mighty
little sense She will sacrifice health and com
fort and everything else in order to be consid-
cred fashionable"
'"Tnere is some truth in that"
Now, fairly adore my wife, but am not
blind to her weaknesses Some of her freaks in
dress are fairly barbarous."
"It's the same with all women. By the way.
that's laundering old tile you have on. Why
are you wearing such thing?"
80. know it's a terror, but it's all the style
in New York now. just came from there YOU
know. "-Lincoin Journal.
HAD YoU BEEN" writes a correspondent, sin
South End horse-car short time since and
been listening. the writer was, to a converse
ton between lady and conductor you would
have noticed a striking illustration of the power
of female loveliness. The lady passed the con
ductor a halfdolar in payment of her fare,
upon which he instantly said:
""This half dollar is a counterfeit
"Why, is it? I'm sure L didn't know it, she
replied.
well, l don't believe you did, said he. gaz
ing admiringly into her pretty face, while he
retained the coin aud passed her 45c good
money. One of those rascally conductors must
have passed it onto you I'll take it and pass it
onto somebody. boston Transcript