Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1888-07-12
At the mention of the magical word


party might be some one whom it was
best not to offend.
''Well." he said. in more concilia-
tory tone, 81 am at your service"
II called around" began the other,
''to endeavor to show you what a
hopeless, unmitigated idiot you are"
''It is very kind of you. I'm sure"
replied the Hon. Boomer, reddening
with annoyance again.
''Oh, / don't act from motives of
kindness at all. Purely selfish. Polit-
ical events in the last few days have
made it somewhat more probable than
it was a year ago that the nomination
would come your way 1t is one OF the
anomalies of politics, for no one de-
serves it less than you do. Still the
facts are as I state them. Now you
are anxious to get that nomination, yet
Excuse me. I do not intend to dis
cuss the political situation with
stranger, still must say this: That
while if the nomination scere unani-
the best interests of the country and
the parity"
''Oh, rats! Do me the justice to sup
pose that have some sense even fmy
coat is threadbare. What's the use of
talking like that to man of the world?
You are moving heaven and earth to
get the nomination, and of course that
is all right. But what l want to point
out to you is this: You have a talent
for amassing wealth. You are the
meanest man on earth with your mon
ey. You have not the slightest bit of
sense in any other respect. You mere
ly know how to make money and hold
on to it. You have not even the sense
to distrust your own tact in political
affairs. You have the stupid idea that
most rich men have, that you can btty
your way through. A barrel is neces-
sary of course, but it must be used with
brains. You made an allusiOn to John
L. Sullivan the other evening in your
speech, at least you were so reported
in the Herald"
Eyes, did"
Every well. Now, you must admit
that John L. knows more about prize
fighting than you do of politics."
81 presume So"
''Of course he does. Yet when he
goes into fight he places himself en-
tirely in the hands of his trainer. He
| eats what the trainer tells him to-he
sleeps when he is told to and walks
when he is so ordered. Yet here you
are going in for a much more difficult
| match and l venture to say that you
;,.s,,
81 don't quite see what all this"
''Of course you don't. 1 didn't ex-
| pect you would. Here you are, man
with plenty of money and very little
BRAINS
Thank YOU"
Don't mention it. Here 1 am a
man with plenty of brains and no
money. Now 1 propose a limited
partnership. need your money; you
need my brains. I'll write your
speeches for you and keep you from
making the idiotic mistakes you are
continually making and will get you in
a few weeks the reputation of being a
| good speaker and a man of sense"
"If you can do that so easily why
don't you do it for YOURSELF"
| Now, that's the first sensible ques-
ton have heard you ask since came
in. 1t shows the advantage of asso-
ciating even for a short while with a
man of ideas. The reason is that /
have not the opportunity. 1 am not
invited to dine at the Hishash Club. l
don't appear before the delegates of
the State Convention. have none of
those opportunities which you throw
away"
| 81 don't throw them away"
"You do worse. You put your foot
into it every time"
"Now, look here, my man, I've stood
good deal of this insolence from
you. I don't propose to stand much
more of it,
"Oh, don't you? Perhaps the fatter-
ers you have around you have really
got you to believe that you are doing
first rate. Your table here is Uttered
with letters and clippings. They all
tell you that you are the coming man.
! Well, they are your worst enemies.
am in fact the only real friend you have
met in month if you only had the
sense to see it. Perhaps you would
like me to point out some of your
blunders?"
al would be very much obliged, I'm
| sure"
Then I would like to ask you why
those two champions of your party,
Larry Doolin and Jimmy Starr. were
not at your reception last night?"
I'm sure l don't know"
Never took the trouble to find out.
1 SUPPOSED"
''I can't say that I thought of it,
''Of course you didn't. Yet you know
| that those two men can swing their
wards just the way they want them
and will have more to saw than any