Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1888-03-01
oARLDUYDER
Some More Queer Things he Can't Make Ont
Detroit Free Press

Some More Queer Things he Can't Make Ont
Detroit Free Press.
Maybe ii yhss because vhas an oldt
Dntchmsns dot can't make sometimes
oudt, but / like TO know how she yhas.
II hat some snow on DER sidewalk in
| front of my house policemans comes
along und says Now, zoe got dot sno q
right off or make soooh law on You as
Will make your heart ache! DoGn you
know 1t vhas dangerous und against der
law! You'd better look sharp oldt mans,
or hat you voere some dogs doan bite
you!
If somebody hat vacant lot next 10
: 6 und der snow on dot sidewalk vhas so
hoeh dot as my shoulder, nopody cleans
him off. Some day when | vhas looking
at her policemans crawl through dot
snow und says. like to know who owns
dot lot. | tells him it vhas a merchant
on Woodwar avenue, und dot snow doan
got off before next Shuly. Oh!it vhas a
merchant, Ell! Veil dot snow yhas all
right. 1t doan hurt somepody at ali. ind
Il vhas fun to wade through it. / 90 in
der house ind sot down und try to make
it all oudt but can't do it.
One day my poy Shake shtands oudt
door und blows a horn, foot! toot! toot!
Re doan toot no more as fife times when
policemans comes aleng und says
Shtop dot noise or | gif you some collar!
Der idea of blowing dot horn und makes
the people go crazy! Doan you know il
was against der law to make sooch a
nuisence! Dot scares Shake so bad he
he aides down cellar all day but in two
hours more ash four men NIT wagons
comes aroundt my place una blow tootl
toot! toOt! until yhas almost deaf. 20
oudt und ask dot policemans to shtop
her. but he says: Doan you know some
tings eldt mans! Dot vhas according to
law,und | can't stos him.
| goes oOp by der Brush farm udd
buys me lot NIT feefty feet front
Maybe / builds me house someday.
When tax time comes l goes over by der
city hall to pay my taxes. All right Mr.
Dunder, says der man nit der tax book
your tax vhas seexty-seven dollar. 1t
seems lice it vhas impossible, bat hat
to pay her. | vhas going away when
mans comes in und says he owns four
hoonerd feet next to me und how much
vhas der taxes. Thirty five dollar und
you Will please forgif me dot she vhas so
high. Because haf lot my taxes vhas
seexty-seven dollars. Because he haf
piece his taxes vhas shust Won haf. / go
home und think aboudt him und | talk
NIT my wife but we can't make her
oudt.
Sometimes on Secondary hitch oop der
pony und take der oldt womans und Shak
out to Sprinhwells TO see my brooder-in-
law. Dot pony vhas blindt in Won eye
ind he hat two ringbones und two SPAWN
und he is so lazy dot he goes jog Jog
jog all der time. We vhgs coming home
when a pJlicemanE rushes oudt at us und
says: Now you look oudtl Dot VERY
next time you vhas driving SO fast take
you to der recorders court und make
your fine fife dollar! | shtop to shpeak
NIT him Few words und somepody NIT
two horses und carriage und a silver
harness comes along like lightning und
almost runs my wheel off. l look at dot
policemans but he dOan see notings.
One day more ash a dozen fellers NIT
carts und wagons comes aroundt my
place und calls rag rags ragsl until my
headaches. By und by | goes oudt in
front of my place und calls Beer! beerl
beer! und shust so queek as some weasels
/ vhas arrested ind fined tree dollar, und
der shuge says to me: Mr.. Dundeu, l
vhas ashtonished at you'll If you doan
know better ash dot put you i'll some
asylum nit der fools Doan let dot hap
pen again!
Vhell like said in der shtart, can't
make her all oudt, und if somepody can
tell me | vhas mooch obliged und feel
tickled all oafer.