davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05

From skeletons found IN South
Carolina it is certain that there
used to be race Of mer i'm this
country who stood from eight to
eleven feet high. and who could
step over a common rail fence.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05

A boys eription Of having a
tooth pulled expresses il about as
well as anything we have seen:
Just before II killed me the tooth
came out"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05

Mamma, must drink this con
denscd milk all the tImeS"
eyes, my child" answered his
mother, we cannot get any other
for YOU"
"Wcll, just wish that condensed
COW would die"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05

Yes" said Qpiggles. ~ have q
good deal on my hands inst now"
$50 perceive" replied Fogg
why don'tyoutry litIle soap anl
wa;crfn
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05

Canada cackles over the fact thst
she laid down 100000 eggs in
the United States last year. The
hens over there have nothing 10 do.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05

do you own this storei" lie
asked as he looked at q pair Of pan
falcons hanging from the awning.
Would you like 20 buy some.
thing!" was the eyasiye inquiry.
j asked you plain question
Do you own this storc?"
Did you buy something's Of me
last week what don't Gtff
That's nothing 70 do with it,"
"My bfuddef looks exactly like
me, but he yhas only clerk. n
you bought Of him you----"
DO you own this stock"
"Mcbbc you like bargain in
oafcrcoais. Our assortment vhas
very complete"
'-Ail right for YOU. II YOU Won e
answer me lli pass on. put the
question now tor ibc last time. Do
you own th.s sfOckf'
"My fiendt let me explain.
sonnet mes vhas owner and some
times agent. Der LAY YOU bought
dot coat which don't lit ! vhas orob.
ably agent II you Ike twelve
dollar oalercOat for seven dollars
to-day ] vhas owner ind III you
der best bargains in der world"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05

Little Charlie was taking about
his cousin Wilbur. How big is
your cousinf' VIC ssked. 30, said
Charlie, she IS long. and long, and
long, way down TO his feet
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05

a Colorado Judge has decided
that a man is in duly bound TO tell
his wife where he spends his even
ings when away from home. 1t
would save many a man trouble II
he would do just that without any
order Of the court.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05

a hornet few into the mouth OF
Harrison Sands, near Syracuse, the
other day and gave him a sting
which resulted in his death lie
had his mouth open to yell "Iatsr'
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05

The chap who i,ll IN love with
an orderly girl said she was too
blamed sistcrmatic when she told
him she could only be sister to
him.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05

Rising before the school he point.
ed to his bit Of blue ribbon and said
Now, car any OF you children tell
me the reason why / am not a
drunkard!p There was no reply
fora moment; then q childish voice
in the rear: "Causc this is Prohi.
bition town"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05


I'D like TO have man arrested. -
said a roughly dressed chap who
called at police headquarters ycstcr-
day.
"Wherc IS hcig asked the scr.
geant.
Down here by the river"
"Whnt has be donc;"
81 bet with him on election and
he won't pay"
"Wc can't arrest him for that
"You can't It's false pretenses,
ain'titiv
"We can do nothing in such
case
"Thcn ] viii lie bet me $2 that
Michigan would go Republican by
million, and he's got to pay or down
comes his shanty.D
Better not get into any fuss
continued the sergeant
Then let him pay up like a man,
lie kept blufiing, and | finally took
him up, and now he's trying to
crawl out Of Il by saying lot OF
Republicans were called away out
ofthc State on business and had no
chance TO vote"
Well, keep clear Of the laws
"I'll try to, but I've got 20 have
them ~ or something will drop.
a man who bluffs me can't make no
spring chicken out Of Tom Smith,
and don't you forget it. Detroit
free Press.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05

"lohnnie, come righ, in aud rock
the baby"
IL hain't got, any rock, but | wish
| had.r
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05

1t IS not only vast Democratic
majority that Texas comes TO the
front with; but one of her matrons.
at Dallas, furnishes six children 70 q
birth, all Democrats, and al doing
well. The mother IS getting along
nicely, bu. orr dispatches do not
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05
ycr FHnf<nA

~ h'nfs of yos Printing ,,sre WITH c~e,
b abode
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05

Those who can command them
aelvcs command others.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05
OHIO RIVER X. R.
TIME TABI.E

Taking effect May d. 1855 Pagfenger trafss
VIII run ss follows Central Time. All trains
daily except those marked thus which do
not run ON sunday
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05
CEREDO MAYNE co, W. VA WEDNESDAY, DECEAIBER s 1885,

state the condition OF the father
Enquirer.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05

Denver, Colo, will soon have
one oftho finest Masonic temples in
The West costing not faf from
$z50.ooo. 10 will be seven stories
high with frontage Of 5ss feet and
a depth Of 100 feet. Every pifder
and beam throughout the building
VII be Of iron, not even wooden
step or staircase being used
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05

"Why cannot women make good
lawyersf' asks an exchange. We
never gave the subject much
thought, but We suppose il IS be-
cause they can't sit on the small Of
their backs, pile their feet on a tn
bic, spit half way across the room
IN Il box OF sawdosf, and charge zig
minute FOR g. There may be some
minor reasons. IN addition, bat these
appear 20 as 10 be tic principal
obstacles IN the way of her success
at The bar Rurtlette.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05
NUMBER ..


The following extract from an IN.
'erview with Mrs. Gen. Grant bv
Nellie Bly, printed ia tho N. Y.
lioyld, October ss,h, will show
who Nellie Biy is:
I'll was somewhat nervous abort
my visit To Mrs. Grant. only
knew OF her as the wife OF the e..
nous Gcneral;ihc successful hostess
Tor eight years in the White House
the woman whu had, in making the
tour Of the world, been received as
queen in every civilized land.
Would any one wonder, then, ut my
apprehension, when women uf so
much meaner light so often try to-
parry all sttcniptas approach, But
was wrong.
My son tells nc" Mrs. Grant
said, with q pleasant laugh. after
greetings had been exchanged and
she had drawn me by the hand to
= char aud seated herself on
lounge most cordially near. "that
Nellie BLY, is a little scamp--r'
oh, NO, no, | broke in, hut
holding her finger up playfully, she
continued:
That, not being content with
exposing the l3lackwell's Island
Insane Asylum--ycs, and benefit.
ting il wondronsly--and exposing
Phelps, the great Albany lobbyist
she needs must 20 to Central Park
and allow herself to be mashed
and then tell all about il To the
Horid, so that now none of the
men dare wink ut girl while out
driving, lest she be Nellie Bly,"
why, that's shame,r replied.
and we both laughed, fear not al.
together In pity of the men.
Nellie BY S first article will APP
pear in the January number of
Godcys. BE sure your subscrip-
ton IS sent in on time, to get tins
issue. Always address Godcy's
Lady's Book, Philadelphia, Pa.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05

People who wonder why mems
hair turns gray before their wbis
kers, should reflect that there is
about twenty ysars difference in
iher respective agcs
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05

Tom --.Diek IS in politics now,
I bclieve.n
Harry hc' was not aware
Of IL"
les; be used to smoke FIVE cert
cigars, bot now We smokes Henry
Ciay's wholly - Yankee Blods.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05
An Autumn IdyI.


nEFoRE KLEcTicN.
Man at
Front gate;
Nice man
Candidate.
Smiles sweet,
Bows low,
Won't 20.
Eats bread,
Eats pies,
Eats meat,
Tells lies.
Kisses baby,
Praises sis,
Calls granny
"Young Miss"
Pats Towsor,
Fondlcs cat,
Tells dad
''S,and pat.
I'm runniu'
Way head,
All others;
I'm dead
Sure 'lectcd
This pop
Way yondcr,
On top!
My name'
John Ray,
Help me
Lection day.
Pretty baby!
Whoop hi
Remember me,
Goodbye"
hFrEn ELEcrIoN.
Flew 10y
Front gate
Nice Man
Candidate
Don't speak
Flies by
B;uc streak
Politics
Al biiars,
Says men
All liars,
Goes homo,
Sheds tear,
Fixes for
Next year.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05
The Ceredo Advance.
A Republican paper published every
"Wednesday by
Il. =. H1cDOu1al,
cEREDo. N. VA
SEnns or SUBSCRIPTION.

o.. copy. crc yccr ~ 3. " peid at tho time
tss Hsyss Ia entered IN sussariftJcr books
Afs~s u says. ei-sh pss year ~H - charged
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05

Cusfomer-"What yo' charge for
giltin' fotografs took3"
Photographer -'.lmperisls. 4G
PEI doz6h duplicates. SO per dozcu.r
Wall, ! guess lie ies hab baf
dozen duplicates token.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05

II is more noble 10 make yourself
great than 90 be born 50.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05

The man Who sits down and
waits to bc appreciated will find
h.nsclf among uncalled- for baggage
after The limited express train has
gone by.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05

When lady strikes one agrcea-
ably, the blow is supposed to be
welcome.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05

An exchange SAYS. Nobody
knows where thc lies 60 to- Per-
haps not; but we know where
people tell them to e. to, though.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1888-12-05

Lady of the housc--~W Who are
you. s.rs'
Tramp "i'm the dude you fiirt-
Ell with al ihe seaside in August"
Workmen's advocate. (New Haven, Conn.) 1883-1891, 1888-03-31
9rice ! Gents

vigorous men in the prime of life are
anxious to 'shut1le off this mortal coil"
in the manner prescribed in the circular;
so, instead of sending another commit
tee to talk to Mr.. Weibel. they invited
him To attend special meeting of their
Union last Tuesday night. But he didn't
come. So he cannot complain that the
Union has not left way open for him
to negotiate, The statement thai he has
made contract with his foreman for
year is ''too thin He may have bor-
rowed money from him. however.
But it seems that there was another
scheme for the bosses to play. The Sec
retary of the Union, together with
member of the Bakers Union, entered
saloon on Chapel street and talked about
the interests of the bakers with the pro-
prietor. Soon Weibels scab driver came
in and seeing Secretary Schiebel, made
for him and struck him blow Mr..
Schiebel in order to leave the place had
to defend himself against further assault,
and the scab got an idea of what it is to
oppose mass of moving righteousness.
Then, believing he had accomplished his
object, the scab went to the prosecuting
attorney and that hater of Organized
Labor very kindly issued warrant for
the arrest of Schebel. To make the
matter AZ serious as possible the rascally
authorities sent down large number of
police to surround Scheibel's place of
business on George street Meanwhile,
however, Mr.. Schiebel, suspecting the
game Of the bosses, went to police head
quarters with bondsman, where he
found his suspicious verified.
The police feel cheap because they
could not find Scheibel before he APP
peared at the police station of his own
accord.
Thursday morning the City Court,
Judge Thompson presiding, enacted a
farce of trial-farcical to any but the
class of people that get their living by
fraud. Schiebel was accused of breach
of the peace. He was tried for being
secretary of the Brewers Union. TWAS
IL class trial--the class of capitalists
against the class of wage-workers. Pros
ecutor Daley seemed to be under the
impression that Schiebel controlled the
Brewers Union, and insulted him by
calling him names, "ltalian lazaroni,"
being one of them. The intelligent
looking Judge did not interfere with the
antics of the Prosecutor, who, on several
occasions interrupted the accused who
spoke in his own defence. The sentence
was sixty days in Jail just as Hugh
Daley requested. And Mr.. Schiebel was
quickly hustled behind the iron door.
Secretary Schiebel was railroaded up
to jail before his bondsman arrived.
Workmen's advocate. (New Haven, Conn.) 1883-1891, 1888-03-31
SLAVE MASTERS LAWS.

| pass to another kind of government
interference in which the end and the
means are alike odious; but which ex-
istcd in England until not so much as
generation ago and in France up to the
year 1854. mean the laws against COM
binations Of workingmen to raise wages
laws enacted and maintained for the de-
clared purpose of keeping wages low, as
the famous Statute of Laborers was
passed by legislature of employers to
prevent the laboring class when its num-
bers had been thinned by pestilence,
from taking advantage of the diminished
competition to obtain higher wages.
Such laws exhibit the Internal spirit Of
the slave master, when to retain the
working classes in avowed slavery has
ceased to be practicable. John Stuart
Workmen's advocate. (New Haven, Conn.) 1883-1891, 1888-03-31
STAY AWAY !

The Building Trades League of Kansas
City and vicinity, take this means of
informing all fellow workmen that the
city and adjoining towns are full to over.
flowing, and that fully three-fourths of
all the trades and one-half of the labor
ing men are out of work and have been
for the past sixty days. Stay away is
the earnest advice of your fellow work
men.
Money is scarce and you have to pay
cash in advance for rent, food and fuel,
in fact everything here is sold for cash,
and without cash you can get nothing.
We advise you to pay no attention to
editorials or advertisements of newspa-
pers, as they are paid by real estate shys-
ters for the purpose of booming the
town.
Workmen's advocate. (New Haven, Conn.) 1883-1891, 1888-03-31
UTOPlAN HEATING ARRANGEMENTS

The Utopian idea is entertained in
some quarters that the house of the fu-
ture will be constructed sans tireplaces,
steam boilers and radiators, furnaces and
ranges, and will give place to neither
base burning magazine stoves, steel
ranges, nor ordinary cooking and heat
ing stoves. Skeptical persons will say
this visionary theory is 'all gas" and
this conclusion would be literally correct,
inasmuch as the forecast anticipates that
gaseous vapor will ere many years be
utilized almost universally, not only for
domestic, but for manufacturing and
commercial uses also. A recent device
is to fill a brazier with chunks of colored
glass, place several jets of gas beneath,
when the glass, becoming heated, raises
to a comfortable thermal condition a
room l0x30 feet in dimensions. The
heat is raised or lowered as desired by
regulating the supply of gas, no smoke
is given off, ventilation is had at the
windows, and the artistic effect is pro-
duced by an arrangement of different
colors in the glass chunks, black pieces
representing fresh coal, red pieces as
simulate ruddy fame, yellowish white
glass personates white heat, blue glass
gives OFF the effect of blue flame, and
other colors and shades furnish the re-
naming colors of the spectrum. The
American Artizdn.
Workmen's advocate. (New Haven, Conn.) 1883-1891, 1888-03-31
GETTING READY.
The Journeymen Brewers Prepared
for Action.

The threat of the employing brew
ers' union to disrupt the Journey
men Brewers National Union, may
or may not be the cause of great
struggle, but the Secretary Of the
National Union, Louis lIerbrandt,
does not seem to regard the threat
with much concern. He is reported
rs expressing himself on the subject
of the threatening circluar of the
bosses:
"Undoubtelly the circular intends to
govern all the lourneymen's unions in
the United States. 1t has been reported
to me by several members of our union
that their bosses have plainly ntimated
to them that they would be dismissed if
they refused to withdraw from their
trade organization and there may there
fore be a few breweries involved in diff
ferences with their employees.
Should "A gigantic strike be inaugur-
ated it would include siXty-seven brew
cries centered in this city, Brooklyn.
WilIiamsburgh, Staten Island Long
Island, Union Hill, Hoboken, Gutten-
burg and mostly all the cities that are in
the vicinity. The circular is a big buga-
boo, and you can take my word for it is
only intended as a scarecrow. The OBJ
jects are primarily the disruption of the
unions and the intimidation of the mem
bers.
"The back bone of the circular is the
Milwaukee bosses, who are becoming
bankrupt through the boycott Union No.
Q has levied on their beer Formerly it
was the custom for the strikers to be
supported by their Unions. That is
changed now. Union No. 0 allows its
members to work in boycotted brew
cries, and thus compels the bosses to sup
port the strikers while the boycott is re-
lentlessly enforced
There are 1000 journeymen en-
ployed in the breweres in and about
New York City, and the contract
with the bosses expires next Monday.
If the bosses insist upon treating
with their employees o4ly as indiyid-
uals the unions will retaliate by treat
ing with the employers on the same
basis.
The explanation of the great ami
mostly of the bosses against the
Union is simply this: Since the Or
ganization of the Union the journey
men have reduced their hours of
labor to the extent of from two to
eight hours per day and increased
their wages by from ~ to $5 per
week. This is enough to incite the
bosses to rebellion.
Workmen's advocate. (New Haven, Conn.) 1883-1891, 1888-03-31
WOMAN'S S RIGHTS CONGRESS.
A Notable Assemblagc Of Women
Who Want to Vote.

During the past week an interna-
tional congress was held at Washing
ton for the purspose of emphasizing
Woman's Importance and devising
means to have the voice of the gen
tier sex heard through the ballot.
The daily papers have given reports
of the proceedings not, neglecting to
east sly slurs at the woman sutTragists.
The right of women to vote is ac-
knowledged by all advanced political
parties, but the parties in power so,
called democratic" and "republi-
cam" have not as yet acknowledged
the right of all citizens to EXPIRE s
thir will by vote. But few of the
women at the Congress seem to 90
any deeper into the question than
the mere demand for suffrage. The
economical condition of the women
is as bad if not worse than that of
men, and yet the men with their
votes are still enslaved by the capi-
talist power. Women would no more
be able to help themselves by their
votes than the men are, and it is
therefore necessary first, that they
organize and join with their broth
crs of the proletariat in demanding
economic freedom. If the women
would only pay attention to this
phase of the question they would
find themselves nearer the road to
success than they are now.
Workmen's advocate. (New Haven, Conn.) 1883-1891, 1888-03-31
CHESTNUT RENAISSANCE.

Hark Did you hear that fool trying
to head off the Labor movement by tell
ing you the American laborer is a great
deal better off than the European labor
er, and ought not to complain That is
just the sort of a plea the advocates of
chattel slavery made prior to the war.
Hear: THE negroes in slavery are much
better off than they ever could be over
in the wilds of Africa, and they ought to
thank their masters for it," The fact
that the toiler is robbed in despotic
Europe does not make it necessary, or
right, that he be robbed in free America.
Common People.
Workmen's advocate. (New Haven, Conn.) 1883-1891, 1888-03-31
CAN SAVE MONEY.

The politicians can save money the
next presidential campaign in view
of the loosened gripof certain "labor
leaders, upon the voting power of
the Knights of Labor. The poll
tician who acts on business princi-
plies need not trouble himself about
fleeing the "head men" of the
Knights of Labor, for instance. The
organization exists largely on paper
now, and that is hardly worth a pur-
chase.
Workmen's advocate. (New Haven, Conn.) 1883-1891, 1888-03-31
NEW HAVEN BREWERS FIGHT
New Hayen's Share of the National Con
spiracy OF Employers.

Now maven ot Iht NHtiouhl SbH-
spiracy OF Employers.
An unfortunate man who is being used
as a catspaw by his Weather competi-
tors in the brewing business seems to
have hard road to travel The object
of the national organization of employ
ing brewers to break up the unions of
the workingmen is being "tried on in
this city, but the "boys' are wide awake,
and have thus far preserved an unbroken
front.
Mr.. Joseph WeibeI, when himself, is a
first rate fellow; but the difficulty comes
in when he attempts to carry out the
Mr.. Hyde side of his nature under the
influence of cunning competitor. The
Quinnipac Brewing Go. would probably
he benefited if Mr.. Webel went out of
business for then Kendall could "talk
business" to Weibefs old customers.
This opinion is one that the jOurneymen
brewers hold, and they have no particu-
lar love for Kendall.
The demands of the strikers are reas-
enable enough. They have discovered
all cItIil} III bHc lblcnitii Ihtu W
Weibel, and they consider him Il brutal
boss, and do not care to be under his
control. Then, too, they have Il very
good set of rules about working overtime
and in regard to wages which they pro-
pose to keep inviolate.
They have, az on many previous occa-
sions, endeavored to settle amicably with
their employer, but the very warm re-
ception accorded a committee of the
Union and Trades Council on this occa-
sion has tended to keep up the difficulty.
The Morning Ne,cs last Monday published
statement from the men, leaving out
certain particulars, which led the Union
to issue the following explanatory cir
cular:
"Wmkntgmen' The Statement in the
Morning Ne,cs stating the Unions side of
the question is correct, excepting in one
particular: Mr.. Weibel threatened to kill
a member of the committee, hencsforth
no more committees.
"Weibel never asked for any Commit
tee on this last controversy.
BREWERS UNION, No. a."
1t can hardly be expected that a set of
Workmen's advocate. (New Haven, Conn.) 1883-1891, 1888-03-31
AS IN AMERICA.
Policemen Attack IA Meeting of Citi.
zens and get Cold Iron.

Editor William O'Brien was max
ing a speech from wagon at Youg-
hal, Ireland, in an endeavor to Or
ganize some tenant farmers, when he
was attacked by the police, Irishmen,
at that, and pulled down from his
improyised platform. The crowd
was then treated to dose OF club
bing, but land here is the difference
between Ireland and America) the
people defended themselves and
sheathed cold iron between the ribs
of the ''cops." Captain Plunkett,
the leader of the uniformed brutes,
was beautifully punished. Military
reinforcemcnts finally arrived and
the crowd dispersed, Mr.. O'Brien
escaping arrest.
Workmen's advocate. (New Haven, Conn.) 1883-1891, 1888-03-31
GRABBED HIM QUICK,

$50 you think you can dress a show
window SO that the ladies will all stop
and look at it, do you?" asked the man
ager of dry goods store of an applicant
for work.
Eyes, sir, | do
"Well, sir, what is the first thing you
would do?'
"Fd put big mirror in the window
and"
That's enough, young man; we don't
want you as an employee. Wen take
you in as a partner. = -Chicago Times.
Workmen's advocate. (New Haven, Conn.) 1883-1891, 1888-03-31
PUBLICATION NOTICES.

A German edition of Boston Liberty
has made its appearance. 1t is printed
in the same neat manner as is Liberty
itself, and is called Liberids. George and
Emma Schumm are the editors. With
the first number comes beautiful sou
venir of the Paris Commune, consisting
of artistic photo-portraits of about forty
of the prominent linen of H." b. X.
Tucker, publisher.