Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1888-02-19
BURDETTE'S HUMOR.
WITTY PaRAoRaPHs THAT WILL MAXI
you MSRRY AND LAUGH.
Vow Some People Build Housss-A Mother.
in-Lsw's siory-sOme Advice to
Young Man.
lror The Dlspatch-Copyrightodis sS !
How People Buiid Kouses

How re0pte Buiid Homes
7 used TO know man who boa .
"s,ndv" IN his house. I often boavJ
Inn sneak of II in natural. casv woy
ga minister or professor wonld speak
De was not a minister or y professor
Pc owned line OF drays and did pearlv
o.. the trucking in the town. He was a
school director tor one term. / felt .
rte curiosity 20 see his study. and one
evening dropped in 10 see him. His
vic SAID he was IN his study Inn,
ST.. would cali him. lie rcco;voj
-. aud said, Come into tbe
study. and we can LIGHT our
rn;s i went The study was A small
5arh room under the staircase II had
c.. la.i window. and must have hoon
cs,s about ten hours of the DAYTIME
la.rc we're two or three chairs i'm II q
'... box covered with chintz that WIS
se.lllv suggestive Of abandoned shoes
a.i >,roil-saw. That was all asked
lu he sawed aud he said no. He had
Oh, study pat in, he said. when he was
..,t.y interested III popular education.
thought that school director ever
f.a slightest interest IN educational
rtt.r, amused me very much, but did
81. sly SD.
called notlong AGO on friend in the
co. He Is wealthy man. SO am
g-al 90 call him my friend. have for
.t.u Vhat I called on him for to Dor
r.u money, probably. The servant said
pas ~ the library and would see mo
,r The library was very handsomely
furnished cAaus and a sofa and a sew
..uachIne and one thing and another.
were no books nor any trumperv
O.. t.st sort around. My friend said thcv
r.r.i room up SO and his wife didn't
'.. Dc. SD De always read his papers i'm
o.. Uulug-rO0m. | blushcd and felt
tt { had exposed my rawness, for
,lcA an unsophistcated child of ma
..-. always somehow associated a IL
ir, with BOOKS.
s family Of my acquaintance has
,u ttat Is a profound mystery to me.
t .ucrs of the parior aud Is furnished
uo. They call it the MUSHROOM.
0 aI the people / know, that family
...vs TIE least music and most cordially
...s Vaat It does know. There isn't a
r,cll instrument in the house, and
t..v once discharged "a groom because he
paved ino mopth-OrRau. But they are
... 'rr 90 their MUSHROOM than of all
81. rest 81 their house.
And. then, / know one Of the sweet
90. most gracious women in the world.
e.o always speaks of her "drawing-
,-. have been IN 1t. IL is not
...t. So light as casemate, but then il
- WIDER than some halls You have to
sand mp IN It, because If You sit down
t..re Us no room for your knees
friend not long ago took me ont to
s Dis new stables" There was only
.-. IS ir. hut he calledit stables" II
v.r. very complete They was of
i-.a and bad grain chutes to every
sab. water. apparatus for hosting hav.
tuH GREAT stalls for the coach horses, and
loose box for the pony and a saddle
..-,- / asked where his horses were.
Il. said It didn't pay to keep horses, it
les more convenient and cheaper 10
., th.m. and he and bis wife were so
-'4'y afraid of horses anyhow they
.. llm drove. Still. he always wanted
good stable, although lie never ex-
ted 70 keep horse.
uis MOther-in-Eaw Tells About 1t.
10 not know where be had been
depending the evening, as be calls it,
-t DEAR. but ] know that the evening
Lad vsued into % clock in the morning
r..u J heard him fall over the rocking
Hr left IN the hall for him, and if 1t
nd please Heaven to send me grand
r-u ] lumbly trust they may all he
r i.af-nO, don't say, On, ma So
...r than have them ever hear
Cd. language that man used. con
pad ~ltA the name of yOur own
.. tler he LETT the hall door
side open. and IN the white moonlight
watched him stand on has hat to reach
OIL. shadow Of the figure seven on the
ransom. blackly outlined on the white
sab. upon which he vainly endeayored
. hang lis OyercOat After several
.ar.s dee laid the coat carefully on the
.l.I. and after fumbhng IN every pocket
. IDS clothes he found some matches.
..i then held up his foot and scratched
f..m against the wall, under the impress
t.a. ! laye uo doubt. that lie was rub
|... lem on the sole of his boot. He
-..L with match after match. TO light
... oi the brass pegs III the hat-rack,
making tie most shocking and absurd
comment, at every failure. ! could
..-r 10 zoo longer. 1 cried out " Henry.
. you viii cease disfisuung the wall and
t, ia,-uck and come here, viii find
at tor YOU. That mamie turnedln
.a most id.otic way 10 the hall-door,
bowed. and after staring out at the moon
.e-. .u "a dazed way, said "Oh. ytz .
tz.l.see, got pulor all lighted up ain
t.a> WbGz goiu on oPrize party ?
.lelIBeut down stairs and led him up
'.il. No. my dear ! am not going to
-.o4 him. No: when be comes down
s....s am not going 10 saya harsh word
- lam. ! shall not say anything to him.
p shall merely look at him. L. S.-She
.'.ked at hIm.
Advtce foa Young Man.