The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1888-05-19
ABOUT
The Pump-H Handle Process an Unnecss-
sary and Disagreeabis One.


II any one who Is at all curious in
the matter Of statistics will be good
enough to try and calculate the nun.
Der Of people who meet each other
every day in London alone, to say
nothing Of the provinces, or in fact,
OF any other place either in or out Of
England, and Of whom quite two
thirds, we think we may positively as
sert, shake hands, when they do so
meet the numbers would probably ap.
pear absolutely incl edible. and vet
more extraordinary still it would seem
that out of these many millions of
hand-shakers no two are absolutely
similar. Why do we shake handsp No
one appears to know. 1t does not
mean much. If any thing. Who has
not suffered from the strong and Lsarty
grasp of, let us fondly hope. ardent
friendship, when our perhaps wringed
hand is wrung with the fervor of
enthusiastic gushingness or affection
by some juvial Hercules in
d~ogskins, who forgets he some
times goes near TO smashing the flag.
lie and confiding fingers rashly for
the moment placed at his mercy. Why
are we thus competed to suffer from
our friendsp Who has not suffered
from the man who. when you meet
him, holds your hand as if it were q
pump-handlo for ten minutes and will.
not let gop Who has not suffered
from that other who will not hold on
at all. but allows you to do the shak.
ing process for himp Who does not
know the man who simply seizes your
hand to throw it violently away from
him in apparent furyp Who does not
fear the sort Of spasmodic hand shaker
who pushes you backward and for.
ward to him and away from him, as il
he were saving you perpendicularly
through Who does not try to shun
the man who works your arm around
as If you were a barrel organp Who
is unacqualnted with the man with the
clammy hand who. as q rule. will not
wear glovesP Why must we shake
hands with himp
Yet we all do it; we dislike it; we
dislike it very much, even; he sees we
dislike it, that it is positively distaste-
full to US; yet, meet linn Tomorrow,
and out comes his hand once more to
engulf your own. and make you wish
you had gone wherever you were going
by anoth"rroute. To sit down calmly
to write OF shaking hands, is 50
enormous an undertaking that one
would require almost three volumes
wherein to express all there is to be
SAID on this subject. When one thinks
that not only every country in the
world, but nearly every county in that
country has some special and dis
tinguished method of s~alutation on
meeting friends and acquaintance s it
seems absurd even to attempt it. We
are eredibly informed that handshak-
ing, which is supposed to be a proof
of friendly feeling. first came into
fashion in the time of Henry II.
Up TO that time our ancestors were
more affectionate in their greetings
than we. their coldcr-natured descend
ants, embracing and kissing each
other much in the same fashion as our
nelghbors on the other side of the
Channel and in Italy are accustomed
to do at the present moment. The
historian who is pleased to date the
commencement of Misunderstanding in
place of oscillation and embracing
about Henry lis time is. perhaps. in
error, as it is more probable the close
embrace OF acquaintance began to
be discontinued later on. perhaps
when tobacco was first introduced into
this country. This certainly seems a
probable surmise, as even in vi pres
ent year of grace a mar who has been
smoking a cheap cigar or a rank pipe
is certainly not the most enforceable
object in the world; and only think
what the tobacco of Raleigb's time
must have been like!
However. whether Henry II did or
did not begin the fashion of shaking
hands" it is now rapidly becoming
overdone in England. The fine '.leur
DIES pois," the creme de la creme"
the quite too-too people do not indulge
in this practice rs much rs the upper
and lower middle classes. for there
srs-y one shakes hands with every
one on entering and leaving a room.
on meeting in the street, and on say
ing good morning good night or
''good- bye" 1t is u wonder we En-
gllsh have not transplanted this irri.
tatlng and glove splitting habit over
the world. Certainly in some parts of
India they shake hands as w do. but
it is by no means universal. though to
please us, be it understood. foreigners
OF all degrees. from the Duke to the
dustman. try to ingratiate themselves
with us English people by shaking our
hands immoder ately whenever they
get q chance. London Queen