The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1888-05-11
COUNTY NEWS.
For the Readers of the Pioneer Elk.
press, by Special Reporters,
WAl.lliI.I.A.


The town herd started Wednesday,
May 9th.
Several parties from Necl,e and
Gretna were in town last week.
George Shultz, of Mona, went through
town Sunday with large drove of cattle
to herd this summer in Cavalier Go.
e. W. Andrews says that poor, at
tcn,,atcd orphan, with only one father
and mother, has put money in his hands
for investment.
The second son Of John II. Campbell
died on Wednesday, May 2nd, of scarlet
fever The child had the most naig-
mant type Of the fever and suffered
greatly before death came TO his relief
lie was about three years old. Tie
parents have the sympathy of all III their
bereavement.
The secretary Of the y. l.. $. of CTS has
publicly announced her engagement to Il
young man along the line of NJ. 4 NJ. II.
Il. and has rendered her resignation.
Owing to the way this young lady las
succeeded, they have called a general
meeting for next Thursday to elect
new secretary. 1t is expected every
member will be candidate for the posi-
ticn, and it is rumored tlla, the president
and other Officers will tender their re-
signations with a view to getting the
secretarysliip. All the notices of the
meeting have these talismanic letters Oh
the lower left hand corner "T. W.B.F."
Alta raising made by one Of the farm
ers near here for the purpose of raising
his los barn. he procured two kegs of
beer to assist in the laborious task.
After the barn was raised there still re-
manned half Il key of the liquid. and
lew of the neighbors remained to wrcs,le
with the key, until they succeeded in
drawing themselves over the outside of
the kegs contents. One of the party, OH
arriving at his home, sat down to rest on
IL ten gallon ask full Of water which, was
in his yard. This position was SO easy,
and beng tired after 80 much excrtion,
he gently subsldcl lower and lower into
the c;'sk till he had driven out about
one fourth of the water. When he
awoke to the situation to find that he
could not release himself from the key,
aud in this tired state he imagined the
key WAS trying to get even with him by
pulling itself over him. He struggled
and said short, indistinct words, which
possibly were words of blessing, but the
more he struggled the deeper he went.
Finally he "hollclcd" for help, and his
wife came out With Il lantern to ascrr
tain the cause OF SO much noise, and
when She saw the partner of her joys
and sorrows gracefully seated III that
kcs, withl,is feet clrrcssing each other
at the lack of his neck, she set the
lantern down and laughed. Yes, that
woman actually had the har,il,uui to
laugh when the man she had chosen for
better or for worse was in such pre-
licamcnt. Finally she asked him how
he got there, anyway. lie said: "(llir),
,laiutino. but you had better be qucl;
and get me out Of this, or shall evapo:-
iate into the s,lnint essence of squat
drops" She tool; hold of his legs and
I, pulled, but she coald not bulge him:
the only result being that when she let
e" hr went further into the key and
rus! of cold water into his lap. 1t was
becoming serious, and his wife asked
him if she had not better 90 for assist
ancc. "No. no." he cried, "I'd freeze
to death before you would get the,c.
Why cant yon tip me over AMI try and
pull the key OFF," No sooner said than
done; but he had forgotten the water,
and rs lie stood there ON all fours, with
the key sticking out like II mammoth
dress imprpvcr and the water at first
rushing like cataract down over his
Spinal column aud then slowly trickling
oil his shirt collar, the remarks Of that
nan would never do for runys in a
ladder to heaven. Ills wife then took
hold Of the key. The fist pull took Il
piece of his coat, vest and shirt out and
tore Il hole in his back. Get an axe
and break the key; I'm freezing" he
cried in agony. She did So, but not be-
ing used to handling an axe, she hit the
bottom of the key, the axe flew out of
her hand. and axe, kcs-bott"m aud all
went into the key aud unto the summer
kitchen Of his wet pants. How he did
howl; but his wife reached in and un-
hooked his back from the nail and took
OIL his ornament. He was so cranpcd
he could hardly stand; but after little
his wife got him to bed. where he is
now laid up for repairs, and he says
he'll be externally slowed ava" on SHOW
balls and compelled to cat shinglc nail
soup, before he'll ever so to another
raising