St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1888-12-02

''AMIA MAN OR AM A MOUsE?"
Jones was nearly speeches.. The
barkeeper laughed,
You'll have to have another one all
round" said he. Before Jones knew it
there was another Manhattan cocktail
in front of him. He rolled up his eyes
to a sign over the bar which read:
"Every time you drink things look diff
ferent." He hoped it was true. Things
had begun to look very misty to him.
There was also a kink III his tongue,
but he felt great desire to talk.
''Lemme me 'splaln the matter" said
he. II started out to call my frien'
Henry wilson Wheeler-lives on Zig
Tag street--couldn't find MiZZur
Wheeler. COuld't find Zig-Zag street.
Found lots of Manhattan cocktails.
Seems to be quite popular round here. y
Everybody laughed, and Jones thought
he must have made a joke. He felt so
good-natured that he drank the other
cocktail. 1t made him more loQuacious.
Name is JONES'" he said, John
Demijohr-no, Demorest-Jones.. Live
at Is Zig-Zag street-nO. that's Mizzur
Wheeler. Forgotten where l live, but
it's somewhere round here. Goodnight,
boys"
IF you want to get to zig-zag street
take the Jay street cars" somebody
called after him. Out in the street it
occurred to him that he could find out
something from the lamp post. He
braced himself on hydrant and looked
up. There appeared to be several
Shadowy lamp-poSts revolving round
and round.
Never saw lamp post like that be-
fnpo - cold T0nnc tn hipncnJf CIV ha1ypr
use SO many lights all running roun'
thai way. Why dom they have one
light an make it keep still? KnowI
saw Jay street On one Of 'em. I'll wait
till it comes roun' again. There: THAI
right. Only one lamp post now. STAN
still there; funny thing, this Maintain
cocktail. Can read both sides this lamp
post at once; read more letters thanI
ever saw OH lamp post fore. but they
dom make sense. There she goes roune
again, half dozen of 'em now. IS no
use. Nuzzer s'loon; one more left.
Have to try that"
He tumbied into it.
"You tell me where MiZZur Henry
Manhattan CocktaiIlives?" he inquired.
Il been lookin' for i'm all night"
''Lives here; finest in tine city," said
the barkeeper. Here you are, sir,"
and he set out cocktail.
as no use kicking 'gainst fate,"
SAID Jones. rs cocktails ev'rywhere's
tonight. Airs full of 'em."
You asked for one," said the bar
keeper.
"No, didn't" said Jones. "Asked
for Henry Demijohn Jones. Lives on
Zig-Zag avenue; HIS; my names
Wheeler. Know him?"
mo, don't, but there's policeman
outside who'll tell you.
"'S'll right. I'll go and ask him."
He opened the door and fell into the
arms of the policeman.
''Where are you going to-" asked the
guardian of the peace.
''Tryin' to fin Mizzer John Henry
Whizzin' Jones. Lives 1175 Zig-Zag-Jag
avenue. Know imp"
There's a man Just moved into No.
1175. I'll take you up there"
He did SO, and deposited Jones on his
own doorstep.
s''S all right" said Jones. know
the house? Here's fi'-dollar note. Con
get Manh'an cocktail. Plenty Of 'em
all roun' here"
The policeman withdrew. Jones
grabbed the bell and pulled it out.
Then he sat down on the steps with the
bell knob in his hand.
mice bell, this" he said. Handy
bell. Man can sit down if YES tired
and ring it just the same"
Then he hung his hat up on his foot.
1t slipped off. He grabbed it and pulled
it half way up to his knee.
''Reckon you'll stay that way he
said. Hullo! Somebody comm.
Must be Mrs. Mani all"
Mrs. Jones opened the deor. The fig
ure on the steps bore no resemblance of
her sober and industrious husband.
"What do you want here?" she in
quired.
rs Nizzur John Demijohn Demi-
jones live here?"
ssNor
IS Mizzur Henry Whizzin' Whizzer
live here?''
mo! !'
"'S Mizzur Manh'an Cocktail live
here?'
And she slammed the door. s
Sail right" said Jones. "Giye it
(hic) up. Can't go lookin' for him
all night. I'll just siddown here an
wait till one of 'em calls to take me
home"
Thcreupon he went to sleep, and
when the milkman arrived he walked
Mr.. Jones by dropping cold cream down
his neck. He was admitted by the rear
door, and / am told that he made full
confession to Mrs. Jones. He said. in
fact, that it was the fullest confession
he ever saw, for the Manhattan cock
tails chung to his brain for several days
afterward.