Wichita eagle., 1888-08-29
A PECULIAR BUGGY.

the few passengers. The engineer was wild,
reckless fellow, who had, think, been drink
ing, and sometimes he spurted the train up
to between nine and ten miles per hour. The
time table called for only six, but this dare
devil made 1t average fully seven He didn't
altogether forget those things which were be
bind and press forward, however, because
once between siding No. 43 and Big Portage
he happened to drop his pipe out Of his mouth
while he had his head out Of the cab window
and actually stopped and backed that long
train for fully three-quarters of mile look
ing for it. The conductor and brakemen
hung of the steps OF the caboose and helped
in the search l put my head out Of the ca
boose window and looked too, picturing
great white meerschaum pipe lying on the
ground like block OF sea foam, with just a
rich autumn amber tint on the bowl. When
the conductor picked it up noticed that it
was clay and had stem two inches long.
The engineer when he took it admitted it
wasn't worth much, but he said 1t was one
that Billy Higgins, Of Q'Appelle, had given
him, and he didn't want to lose 1t. He started
to tell how Billy had happened to make him
the present, but the conductor said that he
had promised bis wife to be home early that
night and reckoned we had better shack
along So the engineer went forward and
wo shacked.
went back and climbed up into the ''pilot
house, of the caboose where had secured a
seat by bribing one of the brakeman with a
noxious cigar. This gave fine view Of the
country. You could SEQ fifteen miles to any
of tho thirty-two points of the compass
perhaps further. The country was as fat IS
n hot In tba Law
of the Red River of the North. A long lank
man with thin hair and hollow cheeks came
and climbed up in the cupola with me and
helped me abuse the scenery. He had a
wandering eye and abstrncted air and said
be had been up to Winnipeg to sell some real
estate and was now, as he expressed it, on
his way back to Gods country. Most of the
various articles Of clothing he wore were too
large for him, though some were too small.
He INDUCED in great bites OF dark, forbid
ding looking tobacco and had solemn, half
detected expression
"Colonel," he said with an infection which
told that he addressed every man he met by
that title, Colonel, what shall we do to pass
away the time9 / never play keerds with
strangers on train" he added with, it
seemed to me, unnecessary haste
l didn't know Of anything to do, except
abuse the country.
81 know what" he went on; ''let's each
Dne of us tell a story"
"An right" l replied
ats O go them" he said; "what's your
story 'boutp
sMy story is about a man." replied I'M
blushingly, ''who owned a COW that had only
pne horn, and that wasn't much of q horn,
you know. It's mostly about the cow"
added desperately, wondering what 1 could
possibly tell about COW that had only one
horn and that not really all a horn should be.
''Sounds first rate" he replied: But two
dollars m half it IL DO laundering good
story. Mine is only jess bout teller that
took his girl TO shindig-jess a scrub ev'ry
dav story. Blaze away with your COW
yarn"
it for a moment. You so ahead first want
to hear all about the Teller who took his girl
30 the shindig."
"Weu," he replied slowly, and I thought
he looked even more solemn than before, ''au
right-rll do it-though Pm somewhat anI-
lous to know about that COW. Which horn
was it that was gonei No matter, thougb1
I'll know when you tell it. The fellow IVES
speaking of came down TO q little town where
[ useter live, in Minnesota, and started q
newspaper 1t was an awful weak paper,
and be was a cussed fool He was little, and
had red eyes, and went around with his head
I'D like a ballly cow with board over her
face. and he didn't know nothing anyhow
he didn't know how to run live newspaper.
1 built a new hen house-one that jess made
the hens open their mouths and cackle when
they seen it-but he never said a word about
1t in his paper. He didn't seem to have the
ability to discuss public questions like this
ct all.
We'll, one night there was a shindig out
Of town about mile, ct Old Man Plummer's
place. 1t was big un-thsy had three I'D
dlerS and the organ they borrowed from tho
Methodist church. OF course this 'ere Char
lie RiggleS-that was his name-this zero
rditor-of course Charlie must so. 10
couldn't see hen house, but he could a shin
dig. He blowed about it in his paper before
hand, too, and called it hop, which pred
ierdiced some agin it, too, If he had only
knowej it We'll, he went out some six or
seven miles on Gopher perairie, and got Old
Hoss Perkins darter to take to this hop, as
he called it She want no caller, sickly
speciraea-she could prGerate the good
pintS of a hen house IS fur aS she could see
it. They got TO the Old mans bout dark,
Jess as the head fiddler was turning up.
"Well, tie night wore on, which remark I
once read, and everything was all Q. K.
The dancin' YVES KEEP up lively an everybody
had good TINA Charlie, the Teller I'm
a-talkin' bout, brought the girl TO the blow
out in one o these ere one boss buggies that
has powerful small wheels in front an power
full big uns behind. Well, long bout mid
night, mebby a little past, when it was dark
Us q string o black cats, bout twelve, or
mebby some past, don't know exactly, somo
o. the boys went out to this ere buggy,
kinder, an sorter walked around it, an
hefted it, am talked little, an said it looked
like rain, an sized up the buggy, an by an
by sorter somehow changed the wheels on the
blamed thing-pHt the behind ones foriard
an the for'ard ones behind, YOU see. The
bows done it, you know, for sort of joke, !
reckon. Mebby they wanted TO see if a man
what couldn't sec henhouSe would catch
onto buggy with its front r'ared up n the
air like a treadmil II made g powerful
funny lookin' buggy OF it-'peared 20 be built
Some like bufferlo-bigh in front an low
behind. I never seen such high should
cred buggy before nor since. 1t looked sic i.
had It's for'ard feet Jpn the manager reach
in over into the oat bin
s.Well. the night wore some more, till
O'Clock. when Charlie, this ere youth what
thought he could run paper. said be guessed
they'd better 90 homo So he hitched up, an
Old Hoss darter put on her dry goods-her
wraps AM fixin's-an' went out an got In the
buggy with Charlie. Still dark's the inside
of . cow-no moon for month, an the stars
Rll clouded under. There's something wrong