Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1888-01-12
Mr.. BIRDS UMBRELLA.
BY F. W. ROBINSON.

There was pause, and long enough pause
70 give me the impression that l had beer
dreaming of earthquakes, or of the lombard
ment of the British museum, or of volcanic
eruption in Russell square, to convince me
even forcibly that must have been dream
ing, as / sat up in bed, and rubbed my eyes
and listened Then-Bangl bangi bangl-
Observation-Disclosures tat - Bang
Yes, there was somebody evidently knock
ing at the street door, hanging by the street
door knocker, and throwing his whole soul
! into tho instrument-the house was ON fire
perhaps, or we were wanted next door at
| Brian's or a lunatic had escaped, and was
cldmoring for admittance, straight waistcoat
and all, or else the up stairs dodgers had come
back prematurely from their visit to
| Tunbridge, and were anxious to get in
out of the rain, which was coming down
with a vehemence that was certainly
startling. l could surmise nothing
more at moments notice aud at 2:30 in the
morning
We all slept very soundly in No. 10 Prossi-
| ter street, Prosslter place, Russell square,
| Bloomsbury, for we worked very hard at
! No. 10, and the house was q large one 1t
was house of many lodgers-parlor floor,
first floor and second foor-and all com
fortably let, and those dodgers who were at
home were all fast asleep, or else waiting for
me, the poor, weakly proprietor of the es-
Enlistment Jane Neild, at your service,
gentle reader, age %, and an orphan with an
establishment on her mind, and living to
| get out of the establishment, to call to the
servants bridget, able bodied, general, u
aged 49, and frightful temper, and Sarah,
aged 49, child with chronic cold and a red
nose, but handy as help to Bridget to get
| up and see what was the matter at No 10, or
with the party outside No. 10 who was
| Clicking up such deuce of a row.
| That was the way it was put at last by
Capt. Choppers, my drawing room floor, an
| irritable old gentleman-not to say violent
when roused-who came out on the landing
at last in an attire which Bridget told me
afterwards was far from decorous, and began
oawling vociferously up the staircase the
| names of each of my maids in turn, conclud-
| ing with my own name in a Shrek of sheer
despair.
| "Miss Neild-here, l SAYS everybody
deads Miss N-e-e-e-ild"
| BLESS my SOUL captain, what is it now?'
| cried through the crack in my door,
| Don't you hear that Internal noise down
stairs, MADAME Who the deuce is it at this
| time of night, who the-what do you say,
1
MADAME
| I'm going to open the window and inquire
| unless you"-
| tits no business of mine, Miss Neild, -
| bawled the captain. II don't expect any
| body-rm not going into the drawing room
! at this time of night, with my cold I'm dis
| turbed enough, as it is, through your being
| all so diabolically deaf. / shall leave this
| day week, ma'am Therel"
| And slam went the back drawing room
| door, and crick crack went the key in the
| ir scible captains lock. was in my dress
| ing ROOM with flannel garment, which |
take the liberty here of calling ''muffler, +"
| wrapped round my head and shoulders; and,
| as | went toward the window, trembling, l
must say, in every limb, the knocking was
repeated for the third time, and with a three
| fold vigor, born of the delay and irritation
| to past summonses.
| waited until there was silence again, or
nearly silence-for / could distinctly hear
| Capt Choppers loading all his firearms-and
| then opened the widow, and peered into the
damp, shiny street, which the wind and rain
| had all to themselves, with the exception of
dark figure on my top step, whose hat
could see was as shiny as the pavement.
| "What is it," / inquired; but the wind
whiSked my voice into Museum street, and l
had to repeat the inquiry in shrill falsetto
The man below paused with his hand to the
| knocker again-for he was just going to be-
| gin afresh--listened and then ran down the
| steps and stood on the edge of tho curbstone,
with his hands behind him. looking up at me
at last / could make nothing of him in the
| darkness from my point of view.
| sWhat do you want, sir?" l asked, now
that had secured the attention of this indi-
vidual "What are you making such noise
| for at this time of nightp
'rm very sorry to disturb you, LADY,
$50 it seems" l said, acrimoniously; but he
| did not hear me, and perhaps it was us
| well he did not. have not q reputation for
being severe in my remark but then this
was an exceptional proceeding, and deserved
rebuke.
| ''The fact is, madam, the wind has blown
| my umbrella clean out of my hand into your
area l would not mind SO much, he condo
scended to explain still further, at the top of
| his voice, "but it's an umbrella l set great
store by. Besides, it's raining tremend-
| ously"
II really cannot come down at this hour
and get your umbrella l said, severely;
| ''you must call tomorrow for it"
isn't there any one in the house-any man
who can get itF
'sThe house is locked up for the night.n
t'Its such a very deep area or would drop
over and get it myself But then don't see
how to get out again." he said
II can't help you, sir; | am very sorry" /
| replied, ''but can't go down tonight for it. :"
II should be brute to ask you, ma'am,n
| he said politely now; and here | could see
he raised his hat to me; ''of course could
not tell who was in the house. or whether it
might not be easy to get my umbrella-which
/ really value very much, assure you; it's
an umbrella which-but l am very sorry to
have disturbed you. ! will call in the morn
ing-thank you; good night"
| And away the gentleman strobe, turning
| up the collar Of his coat above his ears as he
went on down the street. ] closed the win
dow, set my muller" aside, and in another
! moment should have been in my humble
| couch again, when Observation-Disclosures
notwithstanding! once more aroused
the echoes Of the neighborhood, but brought
no policeman to the rescue or any anxious
| inquirers to the windows, except myself, who,
| once moro enwrapped, and this time trem-
! bling with Indignation, was minute after
| ward in my old position facing the dangers
and Inconvenience of the gale, and looking
down once more at the figure below me,
standing in his old position on the brink of
the deep gutter in the roadway.
Il beg your pardon again very much, l
am awfully sorry to be such a nuisance, but
really don't know where 1 am" he cried,
rlttling on with great volubility. II haven't
| tue least idea, and the streets are all alike,
| and am quite a stranger to this part of the
| world, and am afraid ! shan't know this
| house from any other in the daylight. Night
| / just trouble you for the address9n
s'Prossiter street, called down to him.
81 thank you very much. Boshington
street,
''Prossiter street" screamed.
''Prossitcr-a thousand thanks and apollo
/ gies. And what number, ma'am, may ask!
s'No. 10.n
81 am very much obliged to you," be
bawled forth, Il am exceedingly indebted.
would not have troubled you in this way il
the umbrella had not been"--
But would not listen to any further ex-