davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1888-08-25
A Sermon by Father Taylor.

Ionce heard Father Taylor preach
a sermon on the Atonement. It was
all in a style that nobody but a
sailor could understand, a style that
every sailor could comprehend, al
though a treatise on this subject
from an uptown pulpit would have
been "Greek' to him. This was
one of the passages: "You are dead
in trespasses and sin, and buried,
too, down in the lower hold among
the ballast, and you can't get out,
for there is ton of sin on the main
hatch. You shin up the stanchions
and try to get it open: but you
can't. You rig a purchase. You
get your handspikes, capstan bars
and watch tackles, but they are no
good. You can't start it. Then
you begin to sing out for help.
You hail all the saints you think
are on deck, but they can't help
you. At last you hail Jesus Christ.
He comes straight along. All he
wanted was to be asked. He just
claps his shoulder to that ton of
sin. 1t rolls off, and then he says,
'Shipmates, come out!' Well, if
you don't come out, it is your own
fault"
It was on the Sunday before a
State election. Briggs was the can
didate Of the whig party, but Father
Taylor desired that he should be
elected because he was a religious
man. This was his prayer: 20
Lord, give us good men to rule
over us, just men, temperance men,
Christian men, men who fear Thee,
who obey Thy commandments, men
who-but, 0 Lord, what's the use
of veering and hauling and point
ing all round the compass? Give
us George N. Briggs for Governor !"
His prayer was answered on the
next day.
Father Taylor was eloquent, hu-
morous and pathetic by turns.
Sometimes all these characteristics
seemed to be merged in one. These
and many others of his traits inter
ested me, but / loved him because,
first and last and all the time. he
was the. sailors friend.-John Cod
man. in the August Century.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1888-08-25
A Sneeze that Woke a Sleeper.

An amusing story was this, told
by Ex-Governor Bullock of Georgia
in speech at the meeting of the
National Prison Association: "In
one of the penal institutions a few
years ago prisoner was asked by a
visitor, "What brought you here?"
ga sneeze,' answered the Jail bird,
who, by the way, was professional
burglar.
GA. sneeze?'
ayes. Ipursued my calling un-
molested until one night while I
was in the act of robbing house
| was unfortunately overcome by
an impulse to sneeze. That woke
the policeman, who brought me
here ,"
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1888-08-25
4 GOOD ONE FOR eooDwIN.
A Social Game of Faro in the Long,
Long Ago.

We all know how famous Ma
Goodwin is for his bonmots an(
stories. There are few better racon
teurs in this country than he. This
accounts no doubt for his popular
ity. 1t is not more than century
ago that, in the bosom of several
congenial spirits, he "got off" the
following unique tale:
"A couple of winters ago found
myself and what remained of my
company in the fourishing town Of
Roanoke, Va. Business was not OF
a booming nature, and this, COM
bined with the extreme gayety OF
the town, tended to weigh my soul
down into the slough of despond.
l must have betrayed the state of
my mind in my face, for Sam, the
colored waiter at the hotel at which
| was stopping-I forget its name
invited me to a faro game he knew
Of in the town.
II have never liked faro, but
thinking at the time that it would
be diversion, | accompanied him.
"After wading knee-deep, altern-
ately in mud and dust, which in
that town appear to be very indie
ginous to the soil, we found our
selves within a seven-feet-high rook-
cry. Several of my friend Sans
friends were present, and after in
Productions and divers expressions
of admiration of me from them, we
assumed our places, but before the
game started, in staggered a tall,
heavy, black niger dressed to per-
secute. He was the barber of the
village, and very important per-
son from his friends point of view.
How do, Goodwin, how do; glad
ter see yer,' and he extended an
enormous paw in my direction. /
gasped and grasped. 1T has reached
my ears said he, with his heavy
voice, that yer famous at this game,
but LII go yer. acqulesced, and
we assumed our positions at the
table, each with a pile of chips be-
fore him.
"All at once there was rumbling
noise and Professor Tonsor turned
his head aside and sneezed twice.
In the interim seventeen several
hands whooped down on his pile
and severely decapitated it. When
he looked back and noticed his
piles diminution he looked toward
his fellow citizens calmly and said
Brethren, | notice that my pile
has wisibly. diminished. l will turn
around again and sneeze, and if my
pile does not insume it's umriginal
proportshuns | will thereupon be-
gin to carve He turned his head
once more aside, sneezed, and it is
to state that the pile
resumed its proportions Mirror:
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1888-08-25

wiped and put in the pocket. Then
the coat should be taken off and
the sleeves rolled up. Plunge the
right hand under one end of the
heart and the left hand under the
other, lift the dipping mass to the
mouth and fall to. The juice will
trickle down your arms and satur-
ate your face, but what oft? There
is plenty and to spare, though the
feast is the rarest to be found on
earth -
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1888-08-25
The Coming Clock.

Customer Ito jeweler)-Here's
the clock bought of you the other
day. It's of no earthly use to me,
for it gains fully fifteen minutes an
hour. Jeweler examining clock)-
My dear sir, l beg a thusand par
dons. This is one Of our patent
anticipatory time pieces, made ex-
slusively for our billiard-room and
livery stable trade. Excuse the
mistake. Anything you may select
in the line of our regular citizens
clock we will exchange it for you
with pleasure.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1888-08-25

mand he ran away, and for the sake
OF the discipline of the school
went to catch him and he got that
big baste of a dog of yours afther
me, and l had to climb the tree to
defind myself
I didn't throw any water at all,
says PHIL all I know about it is
that he went to whipping me this
morning before l got in
The old gentleman, probably en-
joying the fun, and not being GER
tain whether his boy ought to be
whipped without reason, suggested
to let the case await further inquiry
Let him go without a foggin',
Misther Sheridan? Shure, it'll ruin
the school to do that, now; just
look at them, will you? how they're
laughing at me- The old gentle
man commenced calling the dog;i
looked at him and wouldn't stir.
Take away that divilish dog or I'll
bate the life out of yes both, en-
tirely, says Patrick.
Better come down first Phil
suggested; watch him Rover. But
I'll tell you what I'll do,' he added,
after a pause; if you won't whip
me I'll call him off. He won't go
if father calls him all day-besides,
he sees you're imposing on me-
Patrick argued and protested and
threatened, but it wouldn't do-the
terms were unconditional. The
hot race and cold water had got him
into terrible chill. The longer he
talked in the air of a frosty Janu-
ary morning the colder he got, and
the more hopeless his case became,
when Phil intimated his
intention to demand exemption
from all future floggings.
III tell you what. Phil, said he,
if you'll just call off that
baste I'll not bate you this time, in
dade l won't
why didn't you say so at frst?
said Phil. Come away, Rover
And away Rover did come, and
away came the teacher almost too
chilled to climb down.
And this was the first surrender
to Sheridan. Phil says his teacher
kept his word in that affair, but put
two floggings into every one that
he afterward administered for new
Offenses,"
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1888-08-25

that to her black and white silk

that to her black and white silk
costume she had put on one white
and one black glove. She continued
to wear them, and the gratifying
result was that at the next fashion
able assembly all the ladies at Trou-
vile wore a glove of e different
color on each hand. At present all
the ladies of Trouville have adopted
the custom.-London Figaro.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1888-08-25

The KEYSTONE has long been ackncwl-
edged to be the sole representative OF the
Great Upper Wood River and Sawtooth
mining regions, and, located as it is In the
very heart of the most promising mining
country on the face of the earth, and leav-
ing nothing undone to present its readers =
complete synopsis of all mining news and
importance in the growth Of Ketchum, the
future metropolis OF Idaho, it is an ninvalua-
bic guide for capital and informant to the
settler of every craft and position. Sub
scribe for it, read it, and let your friends
read what may benefit them
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1888-08-25
A Dead Shot on Mosquitoes

Out in Eastern Nevada in the
neighborhoOd of the tule marshes
of Duckwater, a rancher has acci-
dentally discovered q protection
against the swarms of mosquitoes
that at times render life miserable.
It is merely to keep on hand, and
stir up as required, a good healthy
skunk. In the fog that will thus
be produced every mosquito will
instantly vanish.-Va. Enterprise.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1888-08-25
How Fashions Are Set.

A charming French Duchess, SO
so goes the story, had recently
promised to be present at the fes-
tivity for some benevolent purpose
at the Trouville CASING. Being
rather behind time the lady put her
gloves on while driving, and never
noticed until she stood in the full
blaze of the casino drawing-room
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1888-08-25
Best and Worst.

The best thing on earth is happy
marriage, and the worst thing an
unhappy marriage. Whom God
hath joined together let no man
put asunder, but whom the devil
hath joined let them go to Chicago.
l am a lover of children. When
God gives a man wife and six or
eight children He has done some
thing for him. But when He gives
him a canary bird He has just
thrown off on him-Sam Jones.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1888-08-25
AfA1AER TO MS SON.
A Fathers Advice to q Son on the At
tainment Of His Majority.

The following is copy of let
ter recently sent by father in Wat
erton, n. Y, to his son in Chicago :
My Dear Son Fred: The twenty
first anniversary of your birthday
is at hand, and, like all its prede-
cessors, will soon be past. But, un-
like them, it marks period in your
life's history ofspecial interest. Up
to this date you have been minor
(or infant in law. Now you step
out upon the platform of life man,
recognized alike in society and in
law as citizen with rights equal to
any and all. In other words this
is the declaration Of your indepen-
dence. You can no longer be COM
manded. Your consent must be
obtained, and so long as you keep
inviolate the law of God and your
country you will be protected in
these rights. Now, my son, in CIV
ing you your time-legally and NOR
ally-l have chosen a fit emblem
as a memento of the occasion, and
beg you to accept the presentation
of the accompanying watch, chain
and charm as not only an express
sion of the united affections of the
givers-your father, mother and
sister-but also as a reminder all
through life of the high obligations
this twenty-frst birthday places
you under. In assuming these re-
sponsibilities for yourself let me
give you my valedictory. AS you
look upon the watch may enduring
memories arise in your heart. May
it remind you of happy childhood
only, forgetting your many little
sorrows and Affections, which are
always designed for your good and
as you gaze upon it's dial, indicat-
ing the feeting hours, may it re-
mind you that time will soon be
past and eternity will demand an
accounting of its hours. Therefore
place those hours in the keeping of
God, now, from the beginning of
your manhood, and you will not
only reap the principal but the COM
pound interest added when life is
over. So, when you look upon the
chain let it remind you that it is
the hair of your father and mother
in love for their only son
and when the venerable heads from
which it was cut shall have turned
gray with age and care, or per-
chance shall lie mouldering under
the sod, may it still speak in un-
mistakable language to your heart
Of the love they bore you. And
lastly-your dear, loving and only
sister, wishing to join US on this
special occasion, knows of no more
fitting way than to lock herself up
in the charm for you, with the hope
that she may ever be carried near
your heart; and when you look
upon any other fair daughters of
earth you may defend and protect
them as you would the virtue of
your own sister. In conclusion, my
dear boy, may God bless you and
never desert you. Read his word
and keep close to him in prayer
and he will ever be found of you in
time of need. Farewell. Your ever
devoted and affectionate father,
e. H, r,
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1888-08-25
Mistaking the w ord.

II have danced so much that my
feet sting" remarked young lady
to her gallant partner, from Poison
creek at the Leap Year ball. "Well,
1 declare" said the innocent from
abroad, mistaking the word used by
the young lady, II thought sn1elt
suthin'."- Mountain Home Bulletin.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1888-08-25

Reporter Ito assistant editor)-
Can you chip in something toward
burying the proof-reader? He died
without cent.
Assistant editor-How much dc
you want me to give?
Reporter-One dollar
Assistant editor-Well, there is
two dollars; bury him one dollars
worth deeper.-Life.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1888-08-25
AERRlTORy ovy,.,,

territory OF IDAHO Il
!, lsaao, county of Alturas, IS.
sssaned banii, Lewis; President of the above
1--WE ststam, t,n, 90 solemnly swear that the
%uoSledpe oit ,nd Is true to the best of nv
~ sSubscriteid1 id1aAC |. LEWIS, President
uss Of July, 1888. o''' 10 before me this
c''rectISStttns. n, Snow, Notary Public.
aso, Go j. : LEWIS LasT,s' Directors.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1888-08-25
Ar Clark's spool-cotton works ii

AT CIarKB BpCUI-cUICUH WUIh5 III
Kearny. N. J.. a factory chimney is
being erected which will, when fin
ished, be the tallest in this country
and the fourth highest in the world.
It will be 335 feet high. There are
two taller chimneys in Scotland
and one in England.-N. 7. Sun.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1888-08-25
Two old friends meet

Two old friends meet. 'Let me
see," said one, 'it must be tive
years since I saw you last, John.
You were geing into a jewelry store
to buy diamond ring" "Yes, I
remember" "And where are you
going now?" 'I'm going into q
grocery store to buy Goldfish"
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1888-08-25

"Did her father actually thrust
you off the stoop, Mr.. Noodle?"
said the lawyer. Eyes, sir. It
broke my heart" "Well, you have
my sympathy. If he had broken
your leg instead of your heart, you
could have sued him. Some men
never have any luck"
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1888-08-25

The Duke of Westminster, Eng
lands richest Peer, has an income
Of 80 shillings a minute.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1888-03-19

Paul Smith, the Adirondack mountain
hotel keeper, who has had the good fortune
to entertain President Cleveland and party
so frequently when they were on their
summer iaunts, is making visit to the
metropolis, and is at the Grand Union.
He is II jovial, chatty old fellow, and when
it comes to talking about Mrs. Cleveland
the jolly old fellow pours forth a eulogy
as long as it is emphatic.
CHOW, I'll tell you just what good
kind little woman she is, he said the
other evening, "by relating little Incl
dent that occurred during the presidents
last visit to the mountains. He was at
the time at the Prospect house, on Sara
nae lake, Among the guests over at Mil
ler's hotel, twenty miles away, was u
woman and her 12-year-old daughter.
The little girl was stone blind. When
she heard of the presidents presence in
the vicinity she pleaded with her mamma
to be taken to him so that she
could shake him by the hand. After
continued entreaties the child's mother
acceded to her wishes, and one pleasant
afternoon the two arrived at the Prospect
house. The president was in at dinner at
the time, with his wife and Dr. Ward,
and so the little girl and her mother
waited in the reception room. The little
btIl = ulillClpdtttl pressure IeCtINtu IL ScIl-
Gus set back, however, as she was taken
with deathly sick headache and had to
seek rest on lounge in the room. The
fatigue of the journey was evidently too
much for her.
''While she was in this position Mrs.
Cleveland came out from dinner and en-
tered the apartment She inquired after
the little girls trouble, and then retiring
for few moments returned with cam
phor and other articles for the child's re
lief. She bathed the little sufferers head,
and under her kindly ministrations the
child soon recovered fair degree of good
spirits.
"Isn't it too bad, said the little blind
girl, 'just when have chance to shake
hands with the president that | should be
taken with this sick headache
"'Well, you shall shake hands with
him anyway, little one, replied Mrs.
Cleveland.
"She then left the room and returned
shortly, escorting the president and DIR.
Ward. And the visitors made the child
happy by sitting at her side for
half an hour or more. New York Even
ing Sun.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1888-03-19

On March Goth, April 3d and 24th,
May 9Th and 22d, and June 9TH, 1888, the
Burlington Route" c.. B & q. X. r.,
will run Special Land Excursions from
Chicago, Peoria. st. Louis and all sta
tons on its line to points in Nebraska.
Kansas, Minnesota and Dakota. and to
points in Colorado east of and including
Akron and Sterling on the b. IL NJ II. r.
aud Sterling on the U p. R'v. at greatly
reduced rates. This will afford home
seekers, land buyers ana others an excel
lent opportunity for the inspection of the
fertile country of central, northwestern
and southwestern Nebraska and north
western Kansas, reached by the new eX
tensions of the Burlington & Missouri
River II. II. IN Nebraska. Also, to
visit the rich agricultural districts of
Dakota and Minnesota reached by the
Burlington Route. A great reduction in
rates will also be made to Texas, New
Mexico, Tennessee, Mississippi, Alabama.
Louisiana and Arkansas points on March
Goth, April 3d and "A, May Sth and 22d,
and June 9Th, 1888. Tickets good for 30
days to Nebraska. Kansas, Colorado,
Minnesota and Dakota points; and to all
other states mentioned, 50 days. Liberal
stop. over privileges will be accorded pas
sengers beyond terminal points of this
line. For tickets. general or further in,
formation regarding the above, apply to
any ticket agent of its own or connecting
lines or address. Paul Morton, General
Passenger and Ticket Agent, c., b. &
@. II. r., Chicago, Illinois.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1888-03-19

The greatest doctors in Europe dom
seem to know what ails ''Unser Fritz ;
Thus are the Garfield and Grant cpl
sodes repeated. and public confidence in
expert medical knowledge is shaken.
The effect is revulsion.
Since the fatal days of 1888, many OF
the doctrins of schoolmen concerning ex.
tensive medication have been abandoned.
and all schools of practice are more aud
more relying upon old fashioned simple
root and herb preparations and careful
nuTsing-the only reliances known to our
ancestors.
These methods and reliances are illus
trated today in a series of old fashioned
roots and herb preparations recently
given to the world by the well-known
proprietors of Warmers safe cure-prep
arations made from formula possessed
by many of our oldest families, and res
cued for popular use, and issued under
the happy designation of Warmers Log
Cabin Remedies.
"My son." exclaimed venerable wo
man to the writer when he was boy,
my son, your weller and pale and weak
like lookin," your needin good shaking
up with some saspsril"
A jug of of spring sarsaparilla was
just as necessary in the "winter supplies"
OF fifty years ago as was a barrel of pork,
and famous medical authority says that
the very general prevalence of the use
Of such preparation as Log Cabin Sar-
saparilla explains the rugged health of
our ancestors.
While Warmers Log Cabin Sarsaparilla
is an excellent remedy for all seasons of
the year, it is particularly valuable in the
spring, when the system is full of slug.
gish blood and requires Il natural consti-
tutional tonic and invigOratur to resist
colds and pneumonia and the effects Of
long winter. PHO NJ Parsons, clerk of
the City Hotel of Hartford Conn, was
Frustrated with "a cold which, he says,
Seemed to settle through my body. |
neglected it and the result was my blood
became impoverished and poisoned in
Dictated by intlamed ewes was treated
but my eyes grew worse. | was obliged
TO wear a shade over them. | feared
that would be obliged to give up work"
Under the operation of Warmers Log
Cabin Sarsaparilla and Liver Pills" he
says, The sore and inflamcd eyes disap-
peared. My blood, | know, is in
healthier condition that it has been for
years. | have much better appetite. |
shall take several more bottles for safe
TVS sake. Warmers Log Cabin Sarsapar
lila used in the family now will save
many week of sickness and many a
dollar of bills. Use no other. This is
the Oldest most thoroughly tested and
the best, is put up in the largest sarsapa,
rllla bottle on the market, containing 1870
doses. There is no other preparation of
similar name that can equal II. The
name of its manufacturers is a guarantee
of It's superior work.
While the great doctors wrangle over
the technicalities of in advanced medical
science that cannot cure disease, such
simple preparations yearly snatch mill
lions from untimely graves.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1888-03-19
SHERIFF'S SALE.

By virtue of an execution No. 6i62 issued OFT
OF the clerks office of the circuit court Of Rcek
Island county, aud state OF Illinois, and to me di-
rected. whereby am commanded to make the
amount OF certain Judgment Gently obtained
against william Killing and In favor Of Jane A.
Killing, out OF the lands, tenements, goods and
chattels OF the said defendant William Killing.
l have levied upon the following property to-wit:
The fo'ty-eigh; (4sl acres on the east part of
the east half % of the north east OF section
thirty t5Ol, township seventeen %, north range
one ~ west Of the fourth P N in the county of
Rock Island and state OF Illinois.
therefore, according To said command. I shall
expose Tor sale, at pubic auction, all the right,
TUE and interest of the above named William
hilhhg IN and to the above described property, on
saturday tue nth day OF March. 1883 at O'Clock
p n, at the north door Of the court house in the
city OF Rock leland, in the county Of Rock Island
and state of illino E for eash in hand to satisfy
said execution.
Dsted at Rock Island, this LIST dav Of March,
A. D.. 1883. T. s. SILYIs
Sheriff of Rock Island county, Illinois.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1888-03-19
seven special Uheap Excursions

The Chicago, Rock Island g. Pacific
railroad has arranged to run series of
cheap excursions to Kansas. Nebraska,
Northwestern Iowa, Minnesota and Da-
kota; also to Texas and points in New
Mexico reached by the A. T. Sc S. F.
railroad. Tickets will be sold March 90,
April 8 and "a, May and %. June and
10. Except to Texas and New Mexico,
these tickets will be good for return pas
sage 80 days from date of sale. Rate
for these tickets will be one limited first
class fare for the round trip. For
further particulars address E. A. HOl-
brook, general passenger and ticket
agent c., R. /. & p. r. R., Chicago.