The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1888-10-17
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A "pass" word-Good morningl
There is no wedding without a hitch
in il.
The original grand old party-Methu-
selah.
The smaller the "talker" the bigger
the salesman, often.
The thoughts of the lovesick youth
are sadly miss-shapen.
When stock fails to pay dividend,
the holder loses his interest.
A certain chirupodist has dubbed
himself "William the Corn-curer.
The worst breach of good manners is
for Misfortune to stare woman in the
face.
The most unhappy feature about be-
ing jail-bird is said to be its inability
to fly.
"That puts different face on it," as
the small boy said as his ball struck the
clock dial. ss-ssIH
When an Indian catches q cold on
the war path he has the war whoop-
ing cough.
The man who supplied the inquisition
with machinery was the original rack.
renter-LVc.
A woman may not object to a mans
following her, but she dislikes to have
him get on her trail.
The professor of penmanship cannot
do fourishing business when he drops
his pen and uses typewriter.
"No, indeed" said tho young lady
from Boston, adjusting her eyeglasses,
81 never ride in those Robert tail cars.h
A Wise Doctor-"Docto l have a
frightful cold in the head What shall
take for it," Doctor (after reflection)
"a handkerchief.
The son of a Detroit railroad man was
punished at school. lie told his father
he was suffering from misplaced switch.
Detroit Free Pres.
We pity the young fellow who wants
to vote but will lack day of being 2l on
election day. lie must feel lack-a-day-
steal. -SpriaGfetd RtpuJticaa.
Lady of the House urging company
to eat-"Piease help yourselves. Do
Just as you would in your own house.
/ / am always so glad when my friends are
at home. ."-4Hrtury.
"Where did young Browne get his
money, Papa~ "frOm his uncle, old
Sam Brown. lie inherited everything
| he has in this world, except the final e.
to his name. ."-LVe.
The girl who has fine teeth may not
| have keener sense of humor than other
/ women, but you can depend on her to
show all the appreciation she has Of
/ Joke or funny story. AercUy
"Your name, my childl" inquired the
matron of the poor little waif that had
| applied for charity. "Alary IIaddell. "
Little lamb" feelingly exclaimed the
tender hearted maron, - Chicago Iri-
bUHe.
First Iandlady what! Twelve
dollars a week board from Dudie Downy-
| lin! | never could get but s.. How
did you manage it!' Second Landlady
nj served his coffee in mustache
/ cup. - Oar 0JH.
The Trials of Authors Scapegrace Son
/ Introducing his old father to young
| lady)-"Aliss Gladys, the author OF my
! being.n Old Gentleman (bowing) "A
work that has been much criticised. ~
BUpa's Mtga.iae.
He was an economic man,
no money ala nc NdSlcs
He took things as they came along,
Nor to get rich made haste,
de lived above the store,
Where he his money made
And spiteful people used TO say
| He was above his trade.
-CiereidHd Leader.
After The Muscale-Miss Screecher-
"Well, dear, how was my voice to-
nighti Did it fiji the roomp Miss
Neracity -"At first it did, but after
ward d" Miss Screecher - f." Wellp
Miss Veracity-'It emptied it, Time.
al want to purchase narrow escape,
said a Frenchman in a Pittsburg fur
nishing store the other day. He had
found out somehow that in the wonder
full English language, close brush and
narrow escape were synonymous.-
Pittsbuyg Chronicle.
l admit, dear Charles, l told Miss Jones
i really did not like you
Perhaps the meaning of my words
Doth not yet fully strike you,
So hear me swear by all the stars "a.