The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-29
1T WAS A LIVELY ARTICLE.
But 1t Didn't Please the Subject.
From the NetU York Tribune.

But 1t Didn't Please the Subject.
From the Net0 York Tribune.
Robert J. Burdette, whom everybody
knows whether they ever saw him or not,
used TO runs little daily paper in Peoria, Ill.
believe it was Peoria-anyhow, it was the
paper he enjoyed running so much, because
there was never any uncertainty about it.
He know positively every Monday morning
that there wouldn't be enough money to pay
the compositors Saturday night
He hadn't written so much good humor
then as he has since, but it used to crop out
once in while-he couldn't help it. One
day prominent citizen of Peoria got into
trouble with hackman about the amount
OF his charge or something, and took off his
coat and fought him all around the block,
lie made it red day for haclSmen, too, and
got pretty excited before he finished The
next morning Burdette had pretty nearly q
column about it. There had been so much
space to fill and he turned his fancy loose
and filed it. He had laughed about it
quietly to himself all the way home that
night after he wrote it, and in the morning
read it over to SEQ if the boys had got it set
up all right and smiled sort of inwardly to
himself again.
About the middle of the afternoon the
man who had the trouble came in. Bur-
dette trembled a little at first, because he
didn't know how he might have taken it,
but the man wore a broad grin on his face
and seemed to be very much tickled over it.
"That was good one on me in The How
let this morning" said the man."
"Er-yes-do you think soF said Bur-
dette
"Oh, capital-took it Off first-class Did
you write it,"
ooh, yes, l scratched it off in hurry
last night. We have to have something to
fill up"
"Of course. But it was really good. /
didn't know you could do as well as that, p"
went on the man enthusiastically.
''Oh didn't think much of it," returned
Burdette modestly. "1f had only had a
little more time perhaps / might have made
something out of it."
''Oh you had time enough-plenty of time,
l assure you. 1t was fine. OF course l
didn't really do all you said did"
''Oh, of course not. Certainly not. Got
to have something lively in newspaper you
know"
81 see-especially in live local paper"
"You understand it3'
81 think so. Of course didn't yell like a
man with his foot in lawn mower all the
time was having the controversy"
'Oh, move have to exaggerate little.
81 see. And then / didn't raise the hack
man up and pound the face of the earth
with him till the police stopped me for wear
ing out the paving
'No, not at al-had to make it lively,
you know"
'Of course. Then I didn't chase him into
the country half mile, did / nowg
81 never heard that you did. l just
slipped that in. You know local paper"
Il understand Then Of course l didn't
roar SO coming back that people thought
there was hail storm coming"
ooh, you didn't roar at all. l made that
partup to make it lively"
81 thought so. Then l didn't stand on
the corner and howl till was tired and say
/ could lick any hackman who ever looked
through a collar and go around the streets
cracking my heels together and saying l
was from Bitter Creek where it WANT more
than foot wide"
''Of course not-nothing of the kind at
all. just put that in-got to in a small
town with daily paper, you see."
81 notice you have to- 1t was funny
piece, take it all togetherF
Eyes, / thought perhaps it was a little
funny" admitted Burdette little uneasily.
"You say in it the hackman was a small
mans'
"Why, yes, rather small, understood
Probably not as small as you aref'
"Oh n-no, / presume not. I'm not very
big you see. Pleasant weather we're having,
Major"
Y-a-e-s, very pleasant little cold for
hackmen and some editors know of. Pro-
badly, then, if licked the hackman there
wouldn't be any doubt but that could lick
YOU"
ooh, n-no; no, sir not particle of doubt.
Going to the caucas tonight, ColonelW
Il expect to be there, but you won't
you'll be in the hospital you little, insight
ficant, one-horse country editor" and he
reached out and got Burdette by the collar.
"Chased the man out beyond the fair
grounds, did II Reared like the eighth
express coming back, did IL and he began
jabbing Burdette up and down like the dash
er of an old-fashioned churn. MY actions
would have made fish laugh, ehl Howled
around till / made the worlds back ache,
did II" and all the time he was dancing
around the office with Burdette at arms
length ooh, you're going to be the great
American humoristl No doubt OF it at all
You'll make the universe double up and
roll on the grass some day You're funny.
oh, 80 very FUNNY Just give you little
more practice Oh me and you can start out
lecturingln and its hard TO tell what would
have become of poor Burdette if a big press
man hadn't come in just then, with his
sleeves rolled up and ink on the side of his
nose, and relieved him. The pressnan
fought the man ten minutes before he man
aged to tear his coat off and shut up both
his eyes and fire him down the stairs and
half way across the sidewalk. He accom-
plished it at last, however, and went back
t. work and Burdette gathered himself
together and wrote up a solemn account of
the death of the oldest Free Mason, who had
just passed away.
CONFESSIONS OF ACLAIRvoYANT.