Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1888-06-22
Mr.. AND MRS. BOWSER.


Your looks are all right, but you
seem nervous and uneasy. | didn't
know but your corns had come back
IL"
'Iou-you-what.
Il was wondering if you were going
to York State to see your mother this
spring"
And suppose | go?'
Then shall clean house. 1t is two
years, you know, since we had car
pet up.
And if | don't go?''
] was silent
Look here. Mrs Bowser," said my
liege lord in a sharp voice, you can't
lay this on to me. You want to pre-
tend that if | am home through house
cleaning. I'll prance around and raise
the old Harry, and you want TO get
me into the papers as raising a great
fuss
But won't your
Wont | Don't ! know that house
cleaning should come once II year!
Don't | like it? Did my mother ever
clean house without me?"
And | may go ahead, and will you
help me-
"Of course you can go ahead, and
it so happens just now that I've four
or five days to spare. I'll begin right
off now
You are so good. Mr. Bowser. that
! must kiss you. There, take that
"Oh, pshaw. I'm good, of course.
but no better than a husband ought
70 be. I'll get the step-ladder and be-
gin by taking the pictures down"
Il suppose you could get IA colored
man to do the climbing and lifting"
Yes, but won't. want no stran-
ger rambling through our house and
picking up things"
He got the ladder and began work,
and from the way he whistled think
he enjoyed it for about half an hour
In that time he took down dozen
pictures and carried EN- up two flights
Of stairs to the store-room, but as ]
went up with the duster he said
why didn't / think to put all ele-
vator into the house? And the man
who made this step-ladder ought TO be
shot. | believe I've climbed mile or
more. What you got there?'
THE duster.'
What for?'
$40 dust the pictures with"
HIN. Well, hand it here
He came down twenty minutes lat
er, his collar all limp, his hair damp
and his face covered with dust, and as
he sank into a chair with a groan,
said:
II thought it would be too much for
you"
"Oh, you did. Well, | want you TO
understand that it is simply fun for
fore tomorrow noon. and before night
well be all through with house-clean-
ing
Not quite as soon rs that.
Wont we? See if we don't. This
taking a week or ten days TO do lit
tie cleaning is played out. don't pro-
pose to dillydally over this job"
That night when he went TO bed he
groaned and sighed, and in his sleep
he muttered and scolded, and about
midnight he walked me up by saying:
You bet | will, III finish the whole
thing by noon
Mr. BOwser acted sore and stiff next
morning, but after breakfast he put
on an old suit of clothes and began
work We decided 10 clean the par
lor first, and he moved out all the fur
niture with whew In his whew he
tore down the poles at the bay win
dow. ripped one of the curtains two
feet or more. upset a chair and broke
the back, and in pushing the piano
out he skinned all his knuckles and
broke his suspenders at one and the
same instant. He jumped three feet
high in his Indignation. and a. he came
down he turned on me with:
Where in blazes is the az. or a
sledge-halnmer. or a maui. or some
thing to knock this Internal piano to
pieces
Mr.. Bowser. | suggested that you
get a man to help you"
''Oh, you did! Why didn't you sug
gest that set the house on fire and
do the cleaning that way! Look at
that hand. And here's these suspend
ers goner'
| Modified him after a while, and he
finally expressed his willingness TO
take hold again.
Il suppose the carpets will go to the
beaters:'' / queried
Not muchr' he replied. Il don't
propose to pay five or six dollars TO
have some one pound this carpet for
ten minutes, I've beaten more car
pets than you've got hairs in your
head, and I'll show yon job on this"
He set out to pull up the tacksi
after pulling FIVE or six he broke out
with something about blazes and