Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1888-01-27

ALL that ArChlmedeS asked Tor NOV.
ing the world was crumb-a fulcrum
MEN who are great deal run after
fugitives from justice. Cou-
rier.
EARTHQUAKES are very aristocratic,
1t least they all belong TO the upper
crust.
A LAZY man, no matter how truthful
he may be, will lie about the house a
good deal.
"BLEssEp are the piece Makers" said
The small boy when he dropped costly
porcelain ornament-S5fIin9s
FEES on Pullman cars have grown
so excessive that they now have
Santa Fe route.-De,'oit Free Press
In Ireland nowadays, an editor who
isn't ready to edit his paper in jail has
mistaken his calling. -Tcras Sittings
IT may sound paradoxioal, but We
can't help remarking that fogs never
would be mist. -Barli1egt Free
Press.
II does not take school-boy long
to evince love for division, providing
The other boy owns the apple-Teras
SVtings.
PROBABLY it's because truth dwells
at the bottom OF we'll that 50 few peo-
pie take the trouble to look for it. -
baltimore .fD eyic171,
| WHEN the world is made over again
and the millennium comes, other peo-
Plies children and other peoples cats
will certainly be abolished. Somer-
uille Journal.
"Irs an ill wind that blows nobody
good, said the Thanksgiving turkey.
rs a cyclone whirled him from under
the farmers uplifted Ratchet into the
next county. It'd Bits.
II MET Charley to-day. He was
dressed up so that L didn't know him.
"You don't mean III By the way, where
did he get his clothes? l think I'll try
the same tailor.-Bosto7a Transcript
FIRST Arcola Man-What is your
opinion of anarchy? Second Arcola
Man-It's just the thing I'm a base
ball player, and rub myself with it
every night to take out the soreness -
.ircola Record.
In Kentucky Court-Judge ito
Sheriff. wish you weuld make those
men stop firing off their guns cut there
On the square. The Sheriff soon re-
turns-Your honor, the McJacobs and
the O'Harrs are killing each other
JUDICIAL right. thought party
Of idle fellows were merely firing their
guns to make q noise. Didn't know
that business was being transacted.
Call the next case.--Arkonsa1c Iras-
eler
TWO DISCOVERIES.
Blessed be he who first invented sleep!'
Said sancho Panza, and I, too. would heap
blessings unnumbercd on his honored head,
II, by some lucky chance, he was not dead.
Its greatest boon he gavo tho human race,
| And yet no mortal ever saw his face;
| OF all his history one knows a word,
| Nor yet the name his parents gave him heard
Bles eings on him, say I, and you'll agree,
| In blessing him, feel quite sure, with me;
! He WAS our greatest benefactor sure
| I'LL time shall end his honor shall endure.
Blessings on him, and honorea DO his NAME
Peaceful his rest, eternal be bis fame;
Eat hang the other chap whose taste surprising
Mnde him invent the art of curly rising.
| Journal Of Education
"THE east-bound train was forty
minutes late last evening"" explains
Texas paper, lowing to the fact that
the conductor held it mile west Of
here: at the Big Snake crossing waiting
for the regular train-robbers. He was
very much worked up about it when he
reached this place and informed our
reporter that he waited upwards of an
hour at the crossing and blew the
whistle several times, but no robbers
put LII an appearance. He hoped for
better luck at Red Ant Canon, east OF
here. It is understood that new time
table goes into effect soon which calls
for stop of thirty minutes once IN
every fifty miles for the convenience Of
robbers Fired Ca,7e.th.
I'NSER FRIYz's COURAGE
DIR. Morell Mackenzie has q high
opinion of Unser Fritz's courage. He
personally broke the news to the I'M
fortunate Prince that his throat trouble
was the result Of malignant cancer