Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1888-02-02


at this height.
The second morning three letters
were handed me- | opened them with
a smile of profound anticipated con-
tcntment.
This was the gist of the three, differ
emily expressed. but substantially the
same:
You are requested to answer at
once the following questions
where were you born. and when
month, year and dayP
"Who was your father?
"Who was your mother?
"Wcre they married or single?
Are you married or singlep
IF married, what was your wife's
maiden name, and her fathers Chris
tian name?
Have you any childrenP
'.If you have, what arc their names
and ages?
What have you written for tn o
press? by whom published? and over
what signatureP
what are YOU writing nowp what
do you propose writing in the futurep
and for whom?
DO your publishers pay You any
thing? and if so. how much?
Where were you educated, II at
all?
What is your income, if You have
any? What is your postoffice address,?
Do YOU 20 out of town summers, or do
you board up the front door and live
In the back rooms?
How tall are you? What is your
complexion, build. and temperament?
"What are your habits while writingP
'Do you write best by day or by
nighlP
"Do you write just so much day,
or do you wait for insplratlonp Do you
use stimulants while writingP
"What sort of pen, ink and paper dc
you useP'
This was not all. but it NAV suffice.
] hurried to my wife's chamber with
these letters in my hand.
'.Be calm. my dear!" l said, the mo-
ment l got the door open. at is some
mistake. All will come right. Only
don't weep for that would unman
mel!
Mrs. Jones shrek ed. What is itp
What has happened? Have you eaten
that piece of cheese with the Rat
farewell on it9 Oh! oh! will get some
black coffee as soon as poss BILE! 1 will
bring the white of an egg! Betty shall
60 for the doctorr'
/ explained rs we'll as could. hold
ing my wife tightly. with my hand
over her mouth. at is not poison my
dear. 1t is some police business. Some
other man of the name of Jones has
probably profited by my reputation to
publish an actionable article about
somebody. Here! real for yourself"
l gave her the letters, and she read
them. at first W tn perplexity. then
with sudden illumination.
why, you great goose!' she ex-
claimed. ITS because you are cele-
brated. People want to know all
about you. Our house Will be pointed
out We shall be pointed out; and
they will describe my bonnets and
gowns"
] felt my jaw drop.
But they ask how old 1 am" said.
after having read the letters carefully
over again. "And they don't apollo
gize. You don't ask PERSONS age
without some sort of polite grimace, il
you have the face to ask it at all. THAI
was established before we were born.
And do you see ? They threaten mer'
| read outa passage which plainly
informed me that If did not give the
Information asked. IL would be sought
elsewhere, and might not be such as
would like to see in print.
''Of courser' said my W fc, complac,
emily. 1.-The public insists on KNOWN!
about you; and the mon have no choice
It's like the Prime Dome with youn,
men dragging their carriage hom
from the opera; or President JUS
elected called out into the balcony +
make a speech:"
ut is very high-handed proceed
ing" said. becoming stiff.
'.But. MIR. Jones'" my wife insist ed
''the public wishes to know"
II won't tell them!'' I declared, get
ting hot at is indicate in the high
est degree. What can my article Of
political economy have to do with you
fathers name. or with the length {
my legs. or the extent OF nv income
or where / was born, or if / tax
stimulants. or what my publishers pa
me? It's none OF their business r'
My wife laid her hand imprsssivel
on my arm. and measured her wore
out with precision. "If you do ne
tell them what they wish to know
they will put you down ten years oldt
than you are; and they will say tn,
you were born of poor. but homes
parents They will say that you ed,
Gated yourself. and hoed potatoes wi,
a Latin grammar strapped to the no
handle. They will say that we ket
house in two rooms; and that you ma
ried one Of those smart girls who spa
kle (and ache, poor thingsD benin
the counters of Worth. Nothing & G.
How would you like that sirP Ho