The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1888-10-31
nUMOR OF THE DAY.

In the human race the butcher holds
the steaks.
strange to say, a cross road is often
very pleasant.
The best way to put down rents is to
put up houses.
Working like a horse-A lawyer draw
ing conveyance.
A touching sight-A small boy invest
igating newly painted door,
A great waste of etiort-The child
that cries for an hour never gets it.
The man who does everything con his
own hook" is likely to get caught one of
these days.
The railroad with the narrowest gauge
most frequently has the largest mort
gage. e.-Hdrper's Ba.dr.
zone good turn deserves another re-
marked the cook as she gave the griddle-
cake flip over.-Hotd Mil.
An Irishman recently spoke of a man
who had tried in every way, but couldn't
commit suicide to save his life.
The man who brings suit is always
somewhat sad There is something
plaintiff about him. -PUts'Wtg Chronicle.
No loss without gain,' you say
Philosopher, thou art too wise;
I've lost my credit; who gains, prayw
"Your creditor he replies.
And now there is talk about Rice
Trust. Won't the capitalists interested
have a regular pudding l-Rochester
Pos.
"This is a nice box to be in" as the
fellow said when he found himself
locked up in the refrigerator. -DaRsuilLe
Breeze
When a man and woman discuss the
subject Of matrimony, one seldom gets
the better of the other. 1t usually re-
suits in tie.
The man whose legs have been ampu-
tated may be the worst sort of desper-
ado, but he will never die with his boots
on.-Linc0ta JO1Ipqi.
There is only the difference of letter.
Before marriage man yearnS for woman,
and after marriage he earns for her.
Bin3hamtm RcPuJiicda.
"What is your businessp "a glass
worker" "A glass-blower, Ell" IN
no; well, yes, do blow the foam of
glass before I6r,nlS it,"
The remarks of the stump orator who
wants to please labor, capital and every
body, are like the stovepipe when it
falls-very much disjointed.
Fire has very bad temper" re,
marked the Judge ''Ah" replied the
Major, tentatively. 'Yes, it is fire.
quently put out. "--PttSbarg Chronicle.
A man, Mumm by name has chris
/ tened his twins Minnie and Macmillan.
| As an example of minimum and maxi
mum this cannot be beaten. -Ne,o Yor6
/ Sun.
"Matrimony," said a modern Beue-
| diet, the other day, produces remark
| able revolutions. Here am !, for in
stance, changed from signing lover to
| a loving sire. "
/ A traveller, finding himself and his
/ dog in wild country aud destitute of
( provisions, cut off his dogs tail and
boiled it for his own supper, giving the
dog the bone.
Chicago boasts of the most economic
Young lady in the West. When she
| washes her face she always laughs SO as
not to have so much face TO wash. - Conn
| mei, idi 1dctFiser.
STRANGE SIGHTS.
saw a cow-slip through the fence,
A houSe-hy in a store;
! ! saw wOOd-ChuCk up the road
And a stone-pick on the floor
-Cisreidnd Herald.
/ First Deaf and Dumb Man 0alking
with hands)-"What did you give that
man money Tor? You can't hear his
music" Second Deaf and Dumb Man
"That is the reason | gave it to him. -
TcJas SytRg.
"Julia, perhaps am staying too late,
Is not that your father tapping on the
floor overhead" Eyes, Arthur, but
don't go yet. He isn't dangerously mad
until he goes tearing along the hall beat
ing the gong. '-l1me.
That was a contradictory sort of an
eliuson written by discharged clerk to
his former employers; september ], i,
| 1883. Roe ~ Doe; continuation
are no gentlemen. respectfully yours,
John Smith. ."-Harycr' Ea ar.
Farmer to hired man )-"Seems to me
YOU spend a good share of your time sit
ting on the fence" Hired Man-''Yes; /;
| have done something in the literary
liue. aud ! am collecting material for a
book 10 be entitled Life ON the Rail. 4"
-BlrliAgt0H Free Press.