Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1888-12-22

Stunning a disagreeable and offensive
degree of eccentricity. L know an old
newspaper man who keeps all his
memoranda on little corners of envel-
opes, margins of newspapers, ETC., ETC.,
and preserves them in the crown of his
high hat. He also forgets sometimes
and puts burnt matches, cigar clip
pings, and apple cores in the same
place while thinking of something else.
One day his plug hat blew off as he
was crossing on ferry and the next
day there was no paper published at
his office.
A young reporter once came to me at
my hotel, or at least hotel which I
had paid for several times, but had
never really taken possession of, and,
throwing back his spring overcoat so as
to show all the satin facing to advan-
tage, he asked me to state my name.
l stated my name, residence, and
religious belief. He then drew forth a
notebook about the size of family
Bible, and wetting the keen point of a
;hexagon pencil against the rear of his
pharynx, although 1 was in the midst
of a personal conversation with friend
of mine in relation to the recent death
of his little child, this young journalist
told me that he had agreed to write al
column about me for his paper, and
thus having scared out of me every
germ of thought and shut up the
great deeps, such as they were, he fill
ed his large red hotel register with
cold, disagreeable facts, from which he
made column and half, touched up
with his own scorbutic humor, and
closed BY saying that I might be al
fluent writer, but that l would hardly
be selected at once rs sprightly con-
versationalist.
Early lessons, 1 believe, should bG
conducted with the use of the black
beard. For instance, let the student
write on the board political para
graph winding up with the quotation,
"Dinna we hear the slogan?" Next
write one which shall uot contain the
above expression.
Write in modern Teportorial form
something as follows-the account of
an engagement between David and
Goliath:
"a slight south wind was blowing
down the valley of Elah, veering a.
little to westward and showing some
signs of rain in the doubtful States be-
fore night, as the sun rose above tho
camp-ground of the Fifth Battalion of
Israelite infantry, with Saul's head
quarters little further up the gulch,l
near the courthouse. J
"The bright glitter of Furnished
armor and the smell of hot coffee peri
vaded the scene, while across the creeld
and encamped over toward Ephes1
Dammim and the Bethlehem saw-milI
stood the A tents of the Philistines.!
Softly the two contending armies
awoke. Here and there the bray of an
ass or Philistine broke the stiffness,
and the practical ear could now and
then hear the bowels of the earth rum
BILE as Goliath turned over in bed and
thought about the text OF his opening
defiance to the Israelites. !
Gradually the pickets and the Phil
istine advance guard were called in to
breakfast, and promptly at 10 o'clock
Goliath, with new zinc overcoat and
copper sun bonnet, faced with chilled
steel and tied on with telegraph wire!
appeared on the grand stand facing
the camp of the Israelites, followed by
Colonel Fitz-John Abimilech of Gath.
who introduced Goliath briefly, as fol-
lows:
"'Fellow soldiers of the regular
Philistine army and pie-biting yeoman-
Nv of Israel, we have with US this
morning gentleman of Gath. who has
consented at great expense to cancel
his dates with the Great Congress of
Wonders, now exhibiting among our
people, and to come here for two
weeks engagement as defer of Israel;
at two hundred dollars for each and
every defiance and his expenses, includ-
ing press notices. I take pleasure in
introducing Phineas I. Goliath of
Gath, who will now address you
! Goliath, who is man considerably
above the medium height, and dressed
in forced sale of hardware, tinware,
and notions, came forward, and, spit
hing on his hands in order the better to
clutch his castiroa stab knife. re-