The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1888-04-26

be composed OF, into the frame
itself Then. by turning this small
crank. you can wiring out your MOI
without putting your hands in the water
Isn't that triumph of mechanical skill
in the line of mops, MADAME" An he
flourished his mop-stick in the air as :
singin' master does his baton.
when YOU will bring me mop
says /, THAT will git the water on the
stove. heat it. take it off again. an nor
up the floor nice and clean, I'll buy
one. Until then. shall stick to my
old mop. You might as well travel
right on, rs shan't be likely to trade
any today
But, this mop. madam! You will
always regret it if you neglect this op-
portunity to purchase what l may
style the great ultimatum of mop.
Why, just look at this mop-stick,
madam"
IN look at this broom-stick. an to
some purpose. too" says l. '.if you
don't take yourself off I'll defend my
self from corset-peddlers an walkin'
moP-sticks. or I'll know the reason
why. declare. here it is most noon,
an my sassages hardly begun"
lie looked seat an sayin' he'd better
go, he took himself off He hadn't got
out o the ward tho, before l saw a tall
old gentleman with large square case
in his hand. comm in at the gate. He
walked round to the back-door. and
right into the kitchen.
Don't let ME disturb you. ma'am, at
ALL" he began. Il merely wish to call
your attention to this paper. for which
l am getting subscribers. tits doubtless
the mos: entertaining and instructive
paper published in the United States
to-day; and besides that, see these
magnificent chromos! Six of them
when you subscribe, and four steel
plates like this every month afterward.
Isn't that magnificent offer? Why,
this picture alone is worth More than
the price of the paper-which is only
fifty cents year. There, isn't that Il
magnificent likeness. madam"
''Who OFF" l inquired in cool tones.
as he held up a very high-colored pict-
ure of man.
''Whor he fairly yelled. "Is it pos
sible that behold a woman who does
not know the face of our lamented
Garfield? Why. lots of folks nave this
same picture richly framed and hung
in their elegant parIors. and it is mis-
taken for an oil portrait. And you do
not know that face?"
Not that one," l answered. 1--WE
seen good pictures of Mr.. Garfield, and
l have one set consid' able by myself.
But, good landr' says l, warmth up to
the subject, didn't this country suffer
enough in all his long sickness an
death, in the mighty strain of agony
an suspense. afterward, in the sick
enin' trial of Guiteau, an since them
times. without havin' them horrid car
ricatures scattered broadcast through
the land sence? / amt never seen but
a few oil paintings; but 1 pity anybody
that amt got brains enough to tell that
daub from one. Why. could paint
better one with house paints an lard
oil. I've been in the art gallery down
to St. Johnsbury. an I've seen enough
there, an l don't banker after news
paper chromos very much. An when
see affty-cent newspaper g'vin' away
three or four dollars worth of paintin's
ever week, Think there fraud some
where. either among the publishers or
the agents that canvass for EN-"
But just as said the last words the
door slammed. I'd been standing at
my work with my back to him; an
when looked out of the window he
was goin' down the road as if he was
after the doctor.
But this wasn't all. After dinner.
Just as I'd got my dishes washed an
put away. an was gettin' my candle.
moulds around again, heard another
knock.
MY fat was gettin' too hot again. so
took it off the stove an set it on
chair to cool. Then l wiped my hands
an opened the door for as spruce
young Teller as ever was in the town of
Pottsville. VT. He wore the highest
pants / ever see on man yet. and he
Was perfumed up with musk awful
strong. He skipped into the kitchen
n genteel way, saying:
MY good woman, don't let me in
:errupt you a single moment in your
vacations. l have here a
book on Social Etiquette. which shows
,ne how to behave under all circum-
stances, from the most ordinary every
lay life up to the most trying, exacting
md wearying social position you may
ever be called on to fill. You may
hink this of little consequence at the
present moment. but suppose your hus-
oand should be suddenly elected to
Congress and you be required to con-
'ort with the first lady of the land!
But l will not talk; will read you
ew extracts. if you'll excuse me-"
An before l could say word. or
Knew what he was doing. down he sat
square into that pan of tallow.
jumped towards him, but before l
,ould get there, he'd give one long
scream and rushed out of the house.
lrippin' tallow all over the floor and
Icross my new settin'room rag-carpet.
1t was an awful cold day, and the
minute he got out of doors the tallow
hardened, so that, as he ran down the
Dad. he looked for all the world as
IS though somebody had drawn 3 map