The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1888-09-15
BILL NYE's FURNACE.
His Touching Experience With a Ceal
Consumer.
New York World.l

New York World.
Last year had an experience with
a furnace which ought to be embalmcd
in song. | only regret that am not a
suitable cmbalmer that might attend
to it myself In the prime of summer
time ! engaged coal dealer to deal
me some Goals at a low rate. BY this
means ! saved enough on my Goals to
Purchase Il buffalo overcoat to wear
while carving at table during the win
ter, so II MAS wise move.
We had reddish furnace and |
tried to win its confidence and mold
its career during the winter. First Il
had to be cleaned thoroughly in the
fall. Previous people had used II ap-
parently as retort for clinkers. de-
sired to avoid the expense Of hiring a
man to clean Il out, as it was not what
would be called skilled labor, and SO |
did II myself. by this means ! saved
2:50 TO which added $l7:50 for the
purpose of purchasing a new suit of
clothes TO take the place of the one
ruined by getting 1t full of ashes.
This furnace had two cut-oils, a ier-
ker of a cold air iluc, eleven hampers
aud tape worm. ! would 90 down |
at night and fill II full of Goals, shut
the cold air fluc, examine the steam
gauge, also the crown sheet, dump the
clinkers and open the rear damper.
would then retire. In the middle of
the night the humidity in my room
would warn me that all was not well
with the furnace. ! would go below
In my simple wrap and find the furnace
suffering from an overdraft. | then
sought to reduce the temperature and
we famed ourselves TO sleep. In the
morning the furnace was found TO be
extinct. This went ON for week or
two. Then | asked the coachman to
look after the furnace told him
would look after the horses and polish
the crest if he would try 70 win the
confidence of the furnace.
lie resigned the second evening and
left me with the barn and the refriger-
ator both on my hands. then secured
the services Of middle aged girl who
said she used to run the Jay Gould
furnace. Jay and ] haye always bought
our furnaces at the same place.
She said she used to have two nights
out while she was with the Goulds. !
told her that she would be treated
equally well by us.
Her name was Lorcna, and she did
very well while on duty, but the great
4 difficulty seemed to be that Lorena aud
the furnace both wanted to go out on
the same nights.
was her alternate with the furnace
and II made me mad TO have Lorena
absent when twas really my night out.
told her. that she might run Jay
Gould that way, but she couldn't run
me. declined to take care Of the
furnace while she was sleeping II of.
| told Lorena that she had better go
back to the Goulds.
She did so.
then began again to steer the fur
mace through tempestuous career |
excused myself while dukes and titled
people were at our house, in order to
20 down and jerk the furnace. ! even
tore myself away from mush and
milk sociable upstairs in order to 60
below and shovel Goals upon the never
ending appetite of this great bottom
less pit.
And yet the basement was the only
part of my house that was really warm.
Up stairs ] gradually froze, while |
tried TO seem genial and urbane. |
wore a fur ovcrcoat up stairs while the
potatoes were sprouting In the cellar,
and on the second floor the nurse and
the goyerness were eating pemmican
and waiting for relief party. Goose
flesh manifested itself on the exterior
of those who sought to dress for .
dinner party on the second floor, while
= in the attic my employees were eating
!, blubber aud hoping for congressiona
relief. This furnace also had sound
magnifier to il. Its sound magnilier, al
matter of fact, worked better thar
!, It's other fire did. When ] excused
myself to our pastor, seeking at TIN
same time to convey the idea that
was leaving the room for the purpos'
Of some examination, it annoyed IN.
wife much TO hear smothered roar
!" q rattle and some loud and ilorid re
" marks in my well known tones com
floating up through the register.
It was a good furnace for everything
but heating purposes, and have oftel
thought that if they had the sam
= style in ancient times the Hebrew chill
: dren got good deal better press no
" L l..