Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1888-04-05

great favor. il,v rf ttr,W O fttmbleS
his two pastel. III prizes, wonders how
il is that the pr nie necessity, "cheeI,"
is SO upeveply distIijuteu IA this
world. Which III this rase is the dead
head?
A syndicate Of you verify citizens
form a combination OF corporation to
start large manufacturing establish
ment in your city. The well-dressed
and soiid-looking member Of the firm
walks into the office or the editor and
says: 1--WE are starting large estab-
lishment here, it will be of great bene-
fit to the public, and Of course you
must help along such enterprise by
6 wing us lots OF printers ink. Come
down ami look around about half day
and you can find information enough
to ill up couple of columns The
editor of course goes down and gives
them ~ boom all for the good of the
public"
Then that world-renowned charity
institution, the Western Union Tele-
graph Company, under the name of a
sub-corporation, proposes to establish
telephone exchange in your town.
The superintendent, that is to be, comes
to the editor with honeyed words and
tells of the wonderful thing tits for the
public and assures the editor that the
influence of himself and his paper is
necessary to get enough subscribers to
justify putting in the wires. etc. The
editor writes up the wonderful inven-
ton literally and gets it established,
and has the blessed privilege of paying
81 month quarterly in advance for
the one through which he receives duns
from his grocer and butcher. The cleo
trio light folks repeat the dose and the
editor bears it with becoming patience.
But this is rot all. There is going to
be church festival, and the best look
ing and most cultured ladies of the
church are sent to see the editor. They
send these because it takes that kind 10
successfully storm the citadel Of the
editors heart. They say then: You
have never done very much for the
Lord. anyhow, and We want you to
print us some bills--you know how to
write 'em--just get us out about l,OlJ
and well distribute them or have it
done; We'll not bother you to do that.
but we want you to put in a good no
tice or two about it. It's to get a new
pc organ, you see. and you must help
US out now-of course you know we
always feel like we can depend on you
to furnish the printing of the bills and
tickets aud such llke-and to give us
good nOtices-we vii; Send SGn4e little
girls around to sell ticHets;; they vi, hu
fifty cents piece for the whole bill Of
fare-you can get your ticket of one Of
the little girls rs cheap as anywhere,
and il encourages them you know.
Come and bring your ftmiir.it WI o..
cost YOU about four dollars" IN. t..
humble editor, without hope Of rcU.,..
iii this wor,d,and very little in tie l.s!,
agrees to do the printing. and tac ia III
gracefully retire and tackle the iich
er,ceryman on the corner for the dOna-
'ion Of dollars worth Ut sugar t. offset
.an editors seven dollars worth of
printing.
Then there is wedding in high life.
The editor, of course, is invited because
he always circulates around in those
ethereal upper strata of life known as
the bon ton. When he receives an in
vitation there is but one thing for him
to do: lie must rent dress suit and
90. He is expected to describe the
bride as q picture of loneliness and
the bridesmaids rs just too sweet for
any use, and 50 lastly dressed as to at
tract the attention of all. The groom
must be IA manly and handsome one
and of one Of our Lest families and
t re supper-the banquet-must be a
grand success.
The VII lie affair must be "distin-
que THE tujJOI VIII 'to'' IildJ WplN IL
he happens to have it about him-if
not, he will say it was magnificent
affair, or big thing" depending
upon his early education and oppor-
tunities-tO go to weddings.
lie gets nothing for all this and two
columns of space, except the night
mare. If after wrestling with it, he is
sick the next day, he can get even by
taking some of the patent medicines
he has taken on advertisement.
/ leave it to you whether the brides
father, who by the wedding saved
s247 a year in millinery bills alone
not to speak of S487 per month that
the gas bills grew oil account of the
front parlor jets making extra time
is more of deadhead than the over
worked and underfed editor.
Finely n prominent citizen dies; his
cold and rigid form" is locked" in