The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1888-04-07
PITH AND POINT.
Cold daze-A frigid stare.
A hard lot-A marble quarry.
Lo lands-Indian reservations.

A hard lot-A marble quarry.
Lo lands-Indian reservations.
Your rumble servant-Thunder.
The suit department-A court room.
General business-Ca Carrying sword
IeyGs Sytings.
The apothecary's wares are always a
drug on the market.
Private misunderstanding a musket.
- Washington Critic.
Most men in Jail are there on account
of their convictions.
The water for military posts should
come from drilled wells.
Teacher-sIn what battle was General
Blank killed." Bright Boy-"His last
one. Omaha World.
"How do you feel this morning, grand
mammal" 81 don't know, child, the
doctor has not come yet. Life.
Europe does not want to go to war. A
war over there would interrupt the travel
of Americans Orleans Picayune.
People who believe in the faith cure
possibly think that if faith can remove
mountains it ought certainly to remove
ills. Y0nkers Statesman.
Mathematicians must stand aside when
the green grocer's clerk takes the pencil
from behind his big ear and proceeds to
divide seven by one.-Sytings.
The new Chinese MinisteAis said to be
a great lover of poetry. Even the pro-
posed new anti Chinese treaty will be
a-verse to him.-B0StOn Herald.
'It's your duty" as the Customs in
spector sententiously remarked, when
insisting upon settlement for the attempt
to smuggle lot of valuable laces.-
LoDeU Citizen.
81 wish my name were Notoriety,"
sighed thirty-yeaI-o Mt Washington
maiden. "Why?" asked her mother.
because so many men court notOriety."
Pittsburgh Commercial.
They sent some pork and flour to poor
woman at Newton, Kan. and she bor-
rowed a pair of shoes and went all over
town trying to trade the provisions for
oysters and crackers. = Graphic.
Fond Wife-s'The Smiths must be aw-
fully poor, they never give anything to
Charities" He-"WeIl, but we don't
either, Fond Wife-"Oh, but it isn't
because we haven't plenty yP-Judy.
Boston You.h-''You said, Miss Vassar,
that there was one question about Brown
ing you wanted to ask me-" Poughkeep-
sic Girl. -"Er-oh, yes; do you know
what kind of gum Browning chewed~-
Judge.
A man who wanted to be facetious with
the milkman as he was measuring out his
morning portion, said: 500 you charge
extra for the waters" s'No," replied
the milkman, ''the water is thrown in."
Life.
'If 1 take hold of this string, you
know" remarked the tar to the roofer,
''rll stick to it; / never let go of any
thing l 90 into" And the tar kettle
said he could indorse the last statement.
-Burdette.
"Will you give penny to little waif
from Liverpool?" whine ragged boy as
he approached man on Broadway.
"You are a big way from Liverpool, my
lad, so here's ten cents" was the reply.
-Sytiags.
He-''Doyou know, Miss Mabel, have
discovered why my brain is so activea."
She-'No, Mr.. Minuswit What is your
theory9" -'It's because so often start
a train of thought" !" ''She-Ah, yes The
limited. y 1nt- Bits.
A dispatch from Granada, Venezuela,
tells of man shooting his attending
physician. The physicians bill may
have been pretty steer, hut the patient
will find in the end that it would have
been cheaper TO Iay it.-Narriytoa0R
Herald.
Don't sneer at the pretty girl because
she spends time looking into the mirror.
Every minute she devotes to improving
her personal appearance makes the land
scape so much more attractive to yoa,
and it doesn't cost you cent.-S0nler-
pile journal.
Senator Ingalls, says that the prevail
snce of suicide is one of the most alarm
ing features of our civilization. And yet
only few weeks ago this same Senator
came out in long newspaper interview
advising every man to shave himself
81. Louis Magazine.
A German composer was concluding
one of his overtures. AS the ''horns"
played too loudly he told them repeated
ly to play more softly, and more softly
ly they played each time. AT the fourth
repetition, with knowing wink at each
other, they put their instruments to
their lips, but did not blow at all. The
conductor nodded approvingly. every
good, indeed, said he; 'now one shade
softer and you'll have it "