West Virginia Democrat. [volume] (Charles Town, W. Va.) 1885-1890, 1888-03-09
A SOCIAL PROBLEM.
How to Properly Conduct Fashionable
Dinner Nowadays---T The Eth
ouette of Musical Parties.
By Mrs. John Sherwood.

human figure, and the stern self-de-
nial of years of unrewarded labor.
A painter goes through the same
hard discipline.
We might 60 on with all the arts,
even that of the poet. The old Lat
in line tells US the poets are born
and not made, but the coming Lord
Tennyson and the Longfellow would
all have confessed thatit was pref
ty hard work to polish up their
original inspirations. They had the
inspiration, no doubt, but they work
ed afterward.
So it is with hostess. She must
have the inspiration, and then she
must work hard to reach the lofty
ideal. We all can summon up two
ideal houses. both full of luxury,
art and hospitality, both presided
ever, we will premise, by two host
esses who seem, at first sight, equal
ly desirous to please. And yet. at
the one house we all enjoy ourselv-
es; at the other we, none Of us, en-
10Y ourselves. And we find that the
reason of this: One woman knows
how to entertain; she has a gift at
it. The other has not. Now, the
reason of this is generally to be
found in the character OF the host
ess. A self-conscious woman, a
purse proud woman, an insolent
woman is never good hostess. A
good hostess is one who loses her.
self in her guests, who makes every
one appear at his best, who is gen
tie, kind and well bred. There are
some noureaur riches in all cities,
and, in fact, snobs, in every society,
who use their houses as teudatory
castles where they can hang, burn
and imprison their guests, making
them miserable, while they, the
hosts, enjoy the sufferings of their
prisoners. Such hostesses soon be-
come very. unpopular in this free
country. People stay away from
them after season or two when cu
riosity, having been gratified, the
invited guest prefer to 90 to houses
where he is sure that he will he zen
tertained" and not tortured.
GOOD MANNERS AN ESSENTIAL.
This is singular freak, and so
unwise an abuse of the proudest and
most agreeable of all positions that
it hardly needs passing allusion.
But it sometimes happens, and
therefore it is proper to say, that no
woman, however rich, beautiful,
gifted or fashionable, can affoo at to
disregard the excellent grace of
good manners if she hopes to learn
the art of entertaining. The smile
of the hostess is the cream of the
feast from the log cabin to the pal
ace of the merchant prince. All the
rest is matter of detail.
We will suppose, by way of max
ing the matter plain, that woman
aspires to be a good dinner-giver.
She must remember -four things
she has beautiful house, corps OF
well-trained servants, a drst-rate
cook, plenty of money; her husband
knows how to put before her guests
the most expensive and appropriate
wines.
But she must not roast the
guests. The first principle which all
luxurious hostesses should learn in
America is this: Don't roast your
guests. Roast your venison, roast
your turkey, roast your canvasback
(slightly), but do not roast your
guests. The dining rooms in New
York are often horribly too hot. A
room which is so hot that it causes
the flowers to wither will be equally
withering to the brains of ones
guests. Eating and drinking also
are warm processes, and that should
be remembered.
Then she should invite congenial
people. This is a hard rule to fol-
low, and requires tact and intelli-
gence. Perhaps here. greater than
elsewhere, comes in the inspiration
of a hostess. Do not invite party
thoughtlessly or simply to pay
debts. Give thought and patient
study to the composition of your
dinner party, ifyou would entertain
well.
Then learn to be composed. That
is to young hostess the most diff
cult thing of ALL A young woman
just beginning to entertain is es
sentially nervons and anxious. Sht
is looking at the servants instead o
listening to her guests. She shoulc
always be sublimely unconscious o
the machinery of her dinner. Sh'
must resolutely put on mask o
composure and assume a virtue sh'
have it not. Nothing is OF so mncf
Importance as her own demeanoi
If that is qpiet and dignified every
one is comfortable.