Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1888-12-16
HENRY'S WIFE'S BABY.
A WBLLSPRING OF PLEASURE THAT
DROwND HENRY OUT.
What a Tremendous Difference IS Made BY Only
One Short TwslvsmOnIh-0uly Readers
Of The Christmas Puck for 1887 Can
Understand.
lfqnly n. PIE. in Chriaulas Puck.

The Caller-Ah, julia, I'M
Mrs. YOungwife-Wby, how do you-oh
good gracious! abruptly disappears. Al
ter five minutes, again resurns.)
The Caller-I'm afraid iutr-
Mrs. Youpgwite-Intrude, You dea
thing? Why, I'm perfectly delighte'
(starting). There, know Ellen never vii
remember to Disappears for five min
utes more. Re-en.ers
The Caller-You appear so occupied that
perhaps
Mrs. YOungwife-Sh!
The Caller-I beg your pardon?
Mrs. Youngwife-Sh! (In painfully re
pressed whisper It's Lucius-he's gon
to sleep. I'm charmed to see you-orll
please dou'5 speak loud-he's 50 waksful
Lucius is!
The Caller (whispsri ng}-Isn't h
we'll?
Mrs. Youngwife (bridling) Wei? In
deed he Is! Everybody says such health
thy child never was seen. Well? TIT
idea
The Caller Bankruptcies about six
months old, isn't Re?
Mrs. YOuugwife (stitfly)-My dear, I'm
surprised at you, Lucius will be sece'
months old two weeks from mex Tuesday
morning. ut five minutes past six precise
". But, really, you'd think him eight
you certainly would. He 50 p'ecoclous
Louis H.
The Caller Concluding to change sub
Iect) Very cold to-day, don't you think?
Mrs. Youuggife-Truly tits. I've not
known such weather for ever 80 long NOT
since Lucus was born. But bless 10 little
Fart, e does not mind it, mama's own
The Caller Seeking to recall Mrs. Young
wife to serse and cohereucel How is your
husband?
Mrs Youngwife (indiferently Henry?
Oh, well enough-why not? think it's
nearly time for him to come home, but
I'm rot s2re. I'm so occupied with
Lucius-
The Caller-Some one told me that he's
looking rather badly, ard L
Mrs. Youngwife lndifferently) Whoever
said that was one of those enyious old
maids W no know nothing about II. The
prettiest little thjrg-hsir almost all inch
long-and when he gets his teeth
The Caller (mystiied) What. Who?
Mrs. Youngwifs-Why, Lucius, OF
course,
Ths Caller partly recovering herself -
Have You seen your friend, Mrs. TOpnotch,
lately?
Mrs. Youngwife-Id oa't know Mrs Top
notch.
The Caller-No? You used to be very
intimate. thought.
Mrs. Youngwite-Yes, ages ago-betore
Lucus was born. But when person IN
suits me-
The Csller-What,
Mrs. YOungwife becoming excitei) -
Outrages every sacred feeling OF ones
heart
The CalIer-You surrzise me,
Mrs. YoupgW!ie half crying)-Behaves
like a perfect fiend-
The Caller lost in amazement)-What
can she have dOueH
Mrs. Youngwile almost sohbing)-She
said - she said-boo-hoO.-she said
that
Tae Caller with intense interest-Oh,
speak quick.
Mrs. YOungwife exploding That Lu-
cius squinted, Prolonged pause
The Caller (feebly Isn't it horrible
about young Doodle? Accounts found
short, You know.
Mrs. Youngwife-Lucius' accounts will
never bs found short, l promise you. He's
going to be the soul of honor and probity
ls-sor he's to be lawyer. He be 50 legal,
Lucius will!
The Cal!er-He might succeed his father
AZ
Mrs. Youngwife- cotton broker? Upon
nv word! That's we'll enough for Henry
but, LUciUS-ah.
The Caller-What does his father wish:
Mrs. Youngwile with great haughtl'
ness)-LuCius will be amply able to ar
range his affairs without dictatlon, l
fancy. He'll be 50 self-poise1. LucIuS
will.
The Caller trying another t)pic) -Tre1e S
TO be a very interesting lecture tomorrow
evening. Miss Styla, the celeb ,ated au-
thoress, speaks on Tee Higher Education
of Women
Mrs. Youngwife (sneering)-What does
she know about it? The idea of her VEN
tur ng to express any views on such sub
ject,
The Caller-She's generally thought an
authority on it.
Mrs. Youngwife (scornful beyond des-
cription)-Au authority. On the higher
education of women. Why, she hasn't
bless the woman, she hasn't-she hash
any baby.
The Caller, now rather at lcss what
TO say, is relieved by the arrival OF Henry,
who enters in a sidelopg apologize way. }
Henry with timid boldness)-Jule, how
goes it: TO Caller All, how do you dc:
approaches to kiss Mrs. Youugwife.
Well, dear, all right, eh? I'm swfully
glad tc-
Mrs. Youngwife lin the very face Of at
tempted OSCILLATION -Oh! Henry, do shut
that haven't you any consideration:
You'll let draft right up stairs upon Lu'
Ciu9. No, don't slam it-Thst man you
are-why, you may wake Lucius!
Henry (meekly obeyiug) -Whew! 1t
must be 10 below to-day. I'm hal
frozen,
Mrs. Youngwife-So you are. Now, be
sure You warm yourself thoroughly befors
Won 20 near LuCius-remember He's 50
sensitive, Luclu5 Is.
The Caller lforeaeeipg a domestic dis
turbance)--I must say goodby. I've made
too long call already.
Mrs. Youngwife suddenly becoming
hsteniug'y obliviOus)-Hark!
Henry striving to save the situatlon) J
Oh, no, it's not at all late. You must MT
Mrs. Youngwife (sforzandc) Henry!
HTN Won keen still q moment I'm certain