The Arkansaw traveler., 1888-06-30
WITTY SAYINGS OF CHILDREN.
New York Herald.

MemorAOle sayings ot children. What world of meaning there is in these four simple words! If any per- sons think that children's merits in this respect are overrated let them read the following stories, which the Herald has received from several prin- cipals of grammar schools in this city as specimens of the wit and laughable stupidity of some of the pupils under their charge.
 One principal writes: My just examined grammar papers contain a fine specimen of wit and stupidity exactly under which head it should be classified I leave you to determine. My pupils diagram their analysis, and at the bottom of a terribly scrawled paper find these wolds: Please ex- cuse my diaphragm As the Lord made it presume I must !"
 "I asked class yesterday" writes another teacher, "to give me sentence in which the word 'infiuence' was used. One boy immediately replied: I saw man who was under moral influence The boy next him imme- diately interrupted, saying: You can't see man under moral influence, sir, but it's easy to see man who is under spiritual infuence.'"
 Our boys were reading about Laf- fitte, the eminent Frenchman, recent ly," said teacher, land one of them, named Laverty, told how Laffitte Lad one day stopped to pick up a pin and had secured a valuable appointment by reason of such carefulness. As he finished reading the little fellow, with quizzical look, exclaimed And the name of this careful boy was Laver- ty.'"
 A teacher was talking to her ABC class about little Mary's pocket, which had hole in it. "Why," said she, "pockets with holes in them are of no use." ."Yes they are," said little boy, "for she couldn't get her hand in thought no holew
 "Now," said lady teacher, writing on the blackboard, "r-u-n spells rum and (writing under it) what does sun spell9" "Walk !" shouted several.
 Talking of the sun, moon, rain, etc., the same teacher asked: "Where does the sun go when it rains?" "To Brook lyn!" was the unexpected reply.
 s"Who discovered America?" was asked of several young pupils the other day, and to the teachers amaze ment many answered :1 "Adam and Evew
 Drawing some lines on blackboard, an uptown lady teacher explained that they had made a right angle: then, reversing the figure, she replied What is this?" "A left angle,' was the reply. A girl in an evening schoo. reading the lines:
 Is it so, my lord: | 1hen have been your slave too long, rendered it:
 | Isit SO? My Lord!u
 laying an extraordinary emphasis on the last two words. The teacher could not resist laughing heartily, to the utmost amazement of the girls. who failed to see anything wrong.
 A class of children between five and SIX years old were being taught some. thing about fabrics the other day. and among other stuffs plush was men toned. A few days afterward one of the children, in describing her cat, said It was covered with plush !'
 A girl who was being examined on physiology was asked what the spine of human being contained. "Air," was her prompt answer. "Yes," re- piled the disgusted teacher, "that is the reason why people complain of feeling chilly; the breeze is too stiff to run down their backbonel~
 "Did you hear the news, Katiep" asked one little girl of another.
 "No," was the reply.
 "Well, my Uncle George and his wife are going to Delaware on their honeycomb."
 "W hat do you know about Sir Hum- phrey Gilbert?" asked teacher of history.
 Silence for some minutes.
 At last girl blurted out: "I know Sir Humphrey was the man who ob- tained pattern from Queen Elizabeth TOT the purpose of settling America?"
 Who will not laugh at these unin- tentional jokes2
 "The British went to Concord to stores"
 "A ine-eyed (inite) verb has many peculiarities."
 "Colonel Tarleton marched into bat tie at the head of forty dragons" (drag- oons).
 A little girl who had been in deli cate health almost since her birth was asked one day last week how she felt, and replied: "Oh, about the same as ever. suppose Pll never get better. How can when I was born tired?"
 Another little girl, who did not know the meaning of the word "vi- cinity," blamed her brother for using