The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-12-22
BRIGHT BITS.

MRS HAsHcRoFr--W hich do you consider cor
rect, MIR. Spark, would better or had better?
Alr. Sparx-If you refer to the beefsteak Mrs.
Hashcroft, I've had better many time.-Terre
Hdate Express
THE MARYLAND OYSTER PIRATES are reported
TO be well equipped with rifle and cannon. Out
here in Indiana the oyster pirates battery con-
ssts of pair Of lovely eyes, to which the young
man Immediately surrenders.-Terre Hnute
Express.
waiter--l say, waiter, contound you, there's a
fly in this soupl
Waiter (amazedl We'll, I do decla'! Eff it
yain't surprisin'! Everything seems to be get
TIN IN de soup nowadays.-Ltfe.
YES It's bouncing boy"
AND what are you going to name it?'
oh. Benjamin Harrison of course
But you're Democrat" H.
Yes. but you don't think I'd&hrop a little
baby in the soup, do you?"-New York World.
SHE-Perhaps you are not aware, Col Snar-
lington that had half dozen offers before
yours
HE-And perhaps you're not aware, Mrs.
Snariington, that l proposed to dozen diff
ferent women before l met you-Teras SIT
ings.
A MASTER STRoRE.-A fearful riot of the stu
dents arises in u German town and no one not
even the best-liked tutor, is able to pacty them
TIL professor, hiring barouche. takes in all
the master tailors of the city and drives them
through the Campus. when the mob disperses as
by magic.-FliegeHde Bldtter.
LITTLE ELSA. who had learned that it is
nigat in America when the sun is shining in
Germany and vice versa, hears that an aged
lady is preparing to go to her son in America
and asks: How will the old lady ever get used
10 living there when it is night in the daytime
and day in the night tiine.-Ftiegende Batter.
MARRIAGE A LA MoDE.-"Oh, papa, Mr. Clear
head has asked me to marry him. =
Indeed, my dear; and what did you says''
We'll of course, asked him to give me time.
So ne said in an distracted sort of way that if |
could give him good references I could have the
usual thirty days, but it was not his custom"
My dear, think that Is a very business-like
young man, You had better close directly
Judy
BROWNE VERSUS JoNEs.-''Mr. Brief, want to
sue Miss Jones for breach OF promise.
'All rght-but what was the promise?'
well, you see. we were of at a picnic in
August, and Emeline was mad because her Sis
ter had had more proposal! than she, and she
asked oe if / wouldn't help her out. I said
would if she would reject me; but hang it, sir,
though she promised not to, she accepted me
the first chance she got-Hurper's Ba5ar.
Mr.. FLYrNGToN OUTw1T-Yes, I'll take the
regular dinner, Antoine, and bottle of superb
cur. BY the way, what is Madame crying
about? Monsieur been i'll treating her?
Antoine-Ah. non., Monsieur; Madame she
weep for her pet poodle-.ze leetle Zi-z He died
to-day-liadame she feel vair bad
MIR. Flyington Outwit-Ah, yes Antoine I'm
sorry to hear il. Bring the dinner along. and
ah-Antoine, you may omit the salmi-Puck
SAMANTHA, said Mr.. Chugwater, as<he en-
tered the family room, Il have brought Mr.. Vel
lick, the author Of the famous new book, Ran
dom Reflections, with me TO tea. He is in the
parlor. have been telling him how much we
admire the work, and he seems greatly
pleased"
2 For goodness sake, Mr. Chugwater!' - ex-
claimed the wife, take him into some other
room while | cut the leaves of that copy of
Random Reflections that's on the p9rlor
table, ChicIgo Tribune.
A MATTER OF LoCALIrY.-"Come, Fosdyck,
haven't received that hat yet"
What hat?"
why, the hat / won of course, on a bet"
ION bet? Well, for gall, you take the
PALM"
Didn't we bet hats on the electon?"
"Oh, yes, of course, on the presidential cleo
ton.
"Neli, who got it?"
who got it? Good heavens, man, where have
you been the last three weeks?"
philadelphia. Life