Morning journal and courier., 1888-07-04
The OnanlscIent Hotel clerk

From the Chicago Heraid-l ''Now, that name," said the hotel clerk, running his diamond -hilted finger down the register and pausing at the name of Gurlproat, t'that name is fraud. That man is travelling \ incog., and there is something crooked about him.
 "Why do think soi Why, Ialmost know it-in fact, do know it intuitiyely. It is my business to be familiar with names, and | the derivation of them. Now, there is no such name as Gurlproat. It is Q machine name, manufactured for an emergency, some thing like the characters in Dickens novels the Veneerings, Ponsnaps, Weggs, Dorrits, Jaggers, Nicklebys and Chuzzlewits. I am obliged, you know, to be sharp in my bus iness. tell you he is fly fakir from Fly town. He is queer one, and you can bet high on that.
 ''Now. there is man," continued the hotel clerk. pointing to another squarestoed specimen of calissaphy; 'that man Jones, no subte1fuge about him. He comes in and blanks down his gripsack, deposits roll of bills in the safe, calls for stylus, indorses the register, and there you have it straight and hat-footed. A. c. Jone5y $2, 1000 in his roll in the safe. He is man who will do to tie up to. We have to be good judges of hu- man nature in this business, I tell you, and are obliged to be teetotally and strictly sharp. But Jones is solid with this house. He has been here week now, and I have. advanced him $500 or $500 on his roll.
 "You are sure the roll contains money, are you4" inquired the reporter, careleasly.
 'Suret Why, it is an express package, sealed and the amount marked on the cor ner. Guests often leave them with us for security"
 'sI should want to know it was all right before loaned money on it," pursued the reporter:
 'eThatEs where you would fool yourself. That's where you would insult guests and drive trade away. But"-the sharp clerk spoke this little unes3ily-"just to show you what a square man Jones is, I'll send up this bill, i" and the clerk proceeded to sound the loud timbrel which summoned a bell
 "Here, 1un up to 58 with this," said the clerk
 While the bell boy wes on his mission the suspicious Gurlproat came up to the office to settle his bill.
 ''That's he-Gurlproat," said the clerk, forming the words with his mouth without uttering sound, Height dollars and quarter two days and half."
 "Heya" says the despised Gurlproat. 1.-Two days and a half-eight and 8 quar- ter," answered the clerk, winking at the re- porter.
 ssEieht dollars-n
 
 "And q quarter"
 "An right-correct," and Mir. Gurlproat handed him $10 bill The sharp clerk spent five minutes critically examining aud testing the same. While doing so the suspected guest observed:
 eff Colonel James Gurlproat of Montgom- cry. Ala, calls for me, please tell him have gone to Washington"
 The hotel clerk looked suddenly up and his face was like circus poster gilded by the rays of sunset.
 ':Are you Congressman Gurlproat of Ala bamaa" he inquired.
 "HeyI"
 "Ars you Congressman Gurlproat of Ala bamaa"
 "No, am his brother. am Judge Curl proat, formerly of the Supreme bench"
 He had his change, and in another instant the porter was obsequioualy escorting him out to carriage.
 Why" exclaimed the clerk, tits sin- gular happened to forget that Gurlproat family of Montgomery. It just beats all. Funny, isn't it, when you miss mans name.n
 The bell boy returned at shis interesting