The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-06-20
BRIGHT BITS.

''NR. MILDLY, if you persist in coming home
so late at night, shall favor both local option
and prohibition-loca option as to whether L
let you in. or prohibition if decide to lock you
out. Puck.
In the Harmony club is conspicuouSy posted
this notice: IAN conversation on religion,
politics and Richard Wagner is strictly pro
hibted. BY order Of the directors. Pile
gende Batter.
ABSENT MINDED Potts lat breakfast
Have some chips, John!
Jack Potts (from an unreasonable distance,
mentally, behind the folds of his newspaper
Yes; stack of reds, please !-Puck.
WHEN they talked about the nine in Athens it
was the nine MUSES.; to-day, all over this coun-
try the nine refers to base ball, excepting
through the middle and western states, where
it is understood TO mean quinine.-iSdn Fran
cisco Examiner.
81 AM so glad to meet you, Mr.. Graybeard;
my friend tells me you are the oldest Mason in
America"
30, dear. no, that is my son, George Wash
ington Graybeard, my. youngest son. am the
boy preacher. ''-Burdette.
FooD FOR REFLEcrIoN.-Mr Fauxpas Ito his
neighbor at dinnerj-You must have thought
it awfully stupid in me to have made that re-
mark.
Miss Societ---why, no; thought it quite
natural. '-HdTper'S Bazaar.
PHAsEsIUs lat greenhousel--wh are you
going to do with the cutting, Dingolby?
Dingolby-Take it home TO Mrs. Dingolby, my
boy.
Phasaesius-Ah, l see. You intend to give
your wife the slip, as it were.-Detrott Free
Press.
troupe that plays On twenty four pianos at once
is on its way to America. Dear me! wonder
if they were not driven out
Husband-Like enough This country Is a
refuge for the oppressed of all nationS,-Omdhd
World.
HUsBAND-The weather probabilities predict
fair weather, but the prediction is wrong; it is
going to rain; my corns pain me frightfully,
and that sign never fails.
Wife, know it, so shall not attempt to go
down town. Your corns are such a comfort to
me, John.-The Epoch.
HouIIHAN devoted admirer of Patrolman
O'Flynn)-Faix, you're looking illigant, Teddy
wild yure new loife-saving medal on de breast
Officer O'Flynn zYis; 1t was lucky ting for
me to get the firsht report to headquarthers
whin ould man Rooney pulled that blond
peddler out av the river.-Pttck
UNDERTAKEN to physician)-Did a stranger
call on you to-day for treatment, doctor?
Physician-No.
Undertaken That's strange. The gentleman
was looking for physician and recommended
you very highly.
Physiciau-Yes guess that's the reason he
didn't come to see me.-Itd-BftS.
LOOK HERE, Mac, here's Hoadley coming
he has lust written q book. Remember the title
Forever Bereft, ana Wnen lntrO0uce you say
something about it, it will please him" Hoad-
ley enters, and is at once introduced by his
friend to Mr. Mac, who says enthusiastically:
80 glad to meet you, my dear sir. / have
wanted for a long time to know the author of
that charming book-er-''Never Got Left
Detroit Free Press
ISRAEL JoNEs-Frend Thomas, is thee the
agent of the Inscrutable fire insurance com
pany?
Mr.. Bluff very busy)-Yes
Israel Jones I see by the morning papers that
the company has failed
Mr. Bluff lstill bnsy)-All gone to the DEVIL
Israel Jones-Gone to the devil, thee SAYS
friend Thomas? Well, as thee will probably
still continue to be the agent of it, l leave the
policies with thee. Farewel!-Puck.
''BEHoLu that golden and gorgeous sunset
Angelina" rapturously exclaimed her own Au-
glstus., I''Is it not tranScendentaly beautifully"
Perfectly heavenly"
"How the rich crimson melts into the delicate
pink! How sweetly both colors blend with the
amber tinge of the broken clouds about them
What emotions does that magnificent scene
raise in your soul? What does it remind you
off"
strawberry ice cream with a dash of va
nilla" she meekly answered, and she did not
leave him a nickel to pay his homeward car
fare.-Drdke's Magazine.