The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1888-10-23
BRIGHT BITE.

WHAT is the difference between a well-known
banloist and one Of Nym Crnkle's critic SINS!
One is Sam Devere and the other is Da-.-
The Ca tOOn.
FIRST CELIBATE- were obliged to marry
I'd rather marry little woman than big one.
Second Celibate-Why?
FrSJ Celibate-BeCauSe between two evils I'd
naturally choose tie lesser Chorus of groans).
Cartoon.
FIRST BALLET GIRl-What lovely ballet COS
tune you have for the Fairy Queen"
Second Ballet Glrl-Yes; bought it in Long
Branch at second hand. 1t was made for a
bathing dress, though. and had to lengthen 1t
Il little.-Phttddelph{d Record.
SAMARITAN-I see you have a card in your
window, Help Wanted"
Yes, sir; | put that there.
Samaritan-My poor friend why don't you
pocket your pride and go at once to the over
secfS of the pOOr?-LOiceH Courier.
AN ELECTRIC GIRL in Iowa can hold a 30O-pound
man III a chair with all ease. Almost any pretty
girl can hold man of any size on chair, or
even on piano stool, whether she's electric or
not and she needn't even SO much as put her
hands on him. Portland Oregonidn
ELDERLY HErREss (sadly)-No, Mr. Jimsen,
my heart is dead to the tender passion The
only man / ever loved or could ever love was
killed at the battle Of-of-
Mr.. Jimsen disappointed and reaching for
his hat)-Lundy's Lane?-Terds 'Hftings.
He BoRE NO MAICE-Brde of a month-"We
must not forget tle lIOOuQdrIS, AlITeu. IL IL
had not been for their house party this time
last year, we should never have met and mar
ried
bridegroom of ditto Nonsense, my dear! they
didn't mean any harm.-FUR
Col. JoNEs-Mai. Hendricks, sab, l under
stand, sah that you called me an unmittigated
scoundrel, sab. | wish you to withdraw the
offensive epithet, sa =.
Maj Hendrcks-col. Jones, sab, it is with
pleasure, sab, that | withdraw the word "un-
mittigated, sah.-The Cartoon.
MAGISTRATE Madam, your husband charges
you with assault
Madam-Yes your honor; asked him if he
would ever cease to love me. and he was so slow
in answering, that hit him with mop. I'm
only a woman, your honor tears and a
woman's life without love is mere blight
Life.
MYRTLE Florence, is that Fred Dumley's
handwriting!
Florence dear; I'm engaged to him, you
know.
Myrtle-Yes, I know it, l was engaged to
him last summer, Florence. The dear boy, |
wonder who will marry hun eventually.-Ihe
Cartoon.
wIFE-This is lovely day for promenade.
Will you accompany me?
Husband-Certainly.
Very well I'll go upstairs and fix my hair.
If you go out be sure to be back in time for
me-"
GAN right. I've an engagement around the
corner but I'll be back in three hours. "-PhiLg-
delphiG Record
JUST as thought" said old Brown 81 had
an important engagement this morning and
you let the clock run down" Forgive me,
dear returned his better half Women are
so forgetful you know" Yes, you needn't tell
me that - ''Cive me the Key, my dear, she
said You're a bigger fool than took you for
growled the old mao. Didn't | tell you that
lost it last nighty'-Nelc York Sun.
THE ACToR-Ah! it's all very well for you fell
lows to talk about my being the pet of the pub
lie the idol of the arstocracy, the spoilt child
of royalty itself. l admit all that. But
member that my art dies with me, whereas
your pictures, your poems, your speeches re-
main to show the twentieth century what-a-
what
The Painter-What overrated buffers we were
in the nineteenth Ell: Whereas you'll never be
found out old man. SO you score again.
The Statesman and the Poet-Hear! hear
London Punch.
RAILROAD PRESIDENT tTranscontinental Biz
gard Line)-See here, what's become of that
pamphlet you promised to get out to attract
immigrants to the great and glorious north
west?
Assistant-You remember, sir, that the pho
tographer who was sent over the route last fall
to get views for the illustrations died on the
way.
''Yes, he froze to death, but told you to send
another one out last July"
II did: but he died, too"
"Eh! What off"
He starved to death in a railroad restau-
rant."-Philddelphid Record