Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1888-09-27

a furnace which ought to be embalmed
in song. only regret that / am not q
suitable embalmer that / might attend
| to il myself. In the prime of summer
time / engaged coal-dealer to deal me
some Goals at low rate; by this means
/ saved enough on my Goals to purchase
a buffalo oveIcoat to wear while carving
at table during the winter, so it was q
wise move.
We had reddish furnace, and / tried
to win its confidence and mold its ca
reer during the winter. First, il had
to be cleaned out thoroughly in the
fall. Previous people had used it APP
parently as a resort for clinkers. de-
sired to avoid the expense of hiring q
man to elem it out, as it was not what
would be called skilled labor, and so
| did it myself. BY this means saved
| $3.50, to which added 7.50 for the
purpose of purchasing new suit of
clothes to take the place of the one ru-
ined by getting it full of ashes.
| This furnace had two cut-offs, a
| ofs fi;' and a tape-worm. I would go down
at night and fill it full of Goals, shut
the cold-air fiue, examine the steam
gauge, also the crown sheet, dump the
clinkers and open the rear damper. /
would then retire. In the middle of
the night the humidity in my room
would warn me that all was not we'll
with the furnace. / would go below
in my simple wrap and find the furnace
suffering from an overdraft. / then
sought to reduce the temperature and
we famed ourselves to sleep. In the
morning the furnace was found to be
| extinct. This went on for week or
| two. Then / asked the coachman to
| look aft er the furnace. / told him l
would look after the horses and polish
the cr, st if he would try to win the
confidence of the furnace.
He resigned the second evening and
left me with the barn and the refriger-
ator both on my hands. then secured
the services of middle-aged girl who
said she used to run the Jay Gould
| furnace. / told her ours was the same.
Jay and always bought our furnaces
at the same place.
She said she used to have two nights
out while she was with the Goulds.
told her that she would be treated
equally we'll by us.
Her name was Lorena, and she did
very well while on duty, but the great
difficulty seemed to be that Lorena and
the furnace both wanted to go out on
the same nights.
Lorena was good girl in many re-
spects, but she was her own worst enc
my. She claimed that she could take
liquor or let it alone, but she used to
neglect letting it alone for weeks at a
time. was her alternate with the fur
mace, and it made me mad to have
Lore ma absent when it was really my
night out.
told her that she might run Jay
Gould that way, but she couldn't ruI
mace while she was sleeping IL on. be
sides she got to using our cooking
brandy, and so told Lorena that she
had better go back to the Goulds.
She did so.
L then began again to steer the fur
mace through tempestuous career.
excused myself while dukes and titled
people were at our house, IN order t'
go down and jerk the furnace. l evel
tore myself away from husband
milk sociable upstairs in order to g
below and shovel Goals upon the never
ending appetite of this great bottom
less pit. :,
And yet the basement was the onl.
pars of our house that was really warm
Upstairs 1 gradually froze, while
tried to seem genial and urbane. wor
a fur overcoat upstairs while the potl
toes were sprouting in the cellar. AM
on the second floor the nurse and tin
governess were eating pemmican an,
waiting for relief party. Goose ties
manifested itself on the exterior c
those who sought to dress for Dime
party on the second floor, while in tn
attic my employees were eating blubbe
and hoping for Congressional relief.
This furnace also had sound mas
nifier to it. Its sound magnifier, as
matter of fact, worked better than II
other fire did. When excused myse
to our pastor, seeking at the same tim
, to convey the idea that I was leavin
the room for the purpose OF some e.
animation, it annoyed my wife muc
to hear a smothered roar, rattle an
some loud and fiorid remarks In m
well-known tones come floating U
through the register. It was goo
r furnace for everything but heating pu
0 poses. and have often thought tn
2 If they had the same style in anclel
times the Hebrew children got goo
deal better press notices than they d
served. BILL NfE'