Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1888-01-05
HOW SAM NET A FRIEND.

1t not infrequently happens that
very insignificant and commonplace
individual will, by some unlooked-fot
accident, achieve notoriety, if not
fame, shining with the luster of tin
plate on which the sun chances to fall
So it was with our unsophisticated
friend Sam Dover. The fame of his
exploit, or rather the exploit of his
horse William Hinry, went abroad in
the land, that is, Columbia County,
where he lived, and, though the figure
he had cut in the affair had been SUI
premely ridiculous, he was the hero OF
the hour. and his name thus became
ineXtricably interviewer with local his
tory. Any ambitious historian who
shall ever undertake to collect and
edit the annals of said county will be
doing great wrong to posterity if he
neglectS to give Sam a conspicuous
place among its celebrities, to which
he is as Justly entitled as many whose
names are enrolled on the list of those
who have won honorable mention in
the worlds history.
Though Sam had gained nothing
pecuniarily by winning the race, and
had lost his horse, he really felt as
though he had somehow come out
ahead, for who could tell but that the
incident, which at the time had made
him most miserable, might prove the
first step toward a seat in the ''Legis-
latur." or even in the direction of the
''Guverners char" itself. The '.boys,"
who had at first laughed at the whole
thing, perceiving that the natives came
from all parts to get look at the man
swat winned thet race down ter
'Gusty," began after awhile to think he
really deserved some credit for an
affair to which he had lent no willing
hand.
Sam had made his return to Augusta
riding double with one of his friends,
who kindly accommodated him with
steerage passage on his horse. He was
little the worse for liquor when he
got home, but managed to pass HIM
self off on his innocent old mother as
a very much fatigued traveller, where
upon she insisted upon his taking a
strong, hot toddy and going to bed,
which was just the thing this deceitful
son desired the most to do
can wat did yer do with yer boss,
Sammy?' asked the old lady the next
morning while the two were eating
their breakfast
Il got shet NV i'm, maw," replied
Sam.
''W at did yer git fur imp"
Il got more'n he wuz wuth," said
Sam, putting his hand in his pocket to
finger what was left of the $25.
N 1o Il "a L.
mother. Then yer must er got a good
figger for i'm, fur yer alters said es he
was q prime boss"
$50 he Wus;" replied Sam; ''but, yer
see, he had some tricks thar Warn't 10
curn' i'm NV" thinking of the glass eyes
that he had carefully slowed away in
a drawer upstairs.
Then I'm glad yer got shet ny
him." said the old lady, perfectly
satisfied.
During that period when he was
suffering from the jokes and jibes of
his boon companions, Sam had often eX-
pressed a desire to meet that ''feller
Larkins," saying he would make his
''durned eyes blacker'n they wus," if
he ever got an opportunity, but when
he really. did meet him he had re-
covered from all hard feelings and
had begun to look upon the horse
trader somewhat in the light of a
benefactOr.
Sam was riding a mule several
miles from home when a sharp turn in
the road brought him face to face with
this same Larkins. The latter was
mounted on black gelding whose coat
shOne like silk
''Hellor' said Sam thinking of the
threats he had made, and little taken
aback.
Good mornin', stranger, said
Larkins, just as though he had never
seen Sam before. Fine weather for
crappin'."
Yer don't pear ter ric'lec' me, said
Sam, checking his steed.
''Well-no," replied Larkins, draw
ing rein likewise and peering curiously
into the others face. anyhow. eff !
hev ever seed yer afOre l dsremember.
But, Their fac is, amt much fur faces
nohow. They bout all pears alike
ter me. Yer see, I'm jest IL leetle
nigh-sighted.
"Well, don't yer ric'lec that boss
with glass eyes yer stuck me with
bout a yer ago"
"A boss with glass eyes" repeated
Larkins, looking puzzled. Eyer mean
one er these here bosses with white
lookin eyes reckin; theys mos gin'ral-
" called wall-eyed bosses. Inever did
ike them sort, an don't b'lieve L ever
owned one NV en-"
s.NO - go III Sam. ssT 11ooau Tir'I I1r
gIass-eyed hoss-a bline boss wat he'd
glass eyes stuck inter his head"
Yer don't say! An did you git
stuck on boss like tibet? Well, tibet
was a cute trick, terber sho," and
Larkins chuckled with great apparent
enjoyment.
Yer done it yerse'f," said Sam, be-
ginning to get out of temper at the
cool way in which the other ignored
the transaction.
.'Mew exclaimed Larkins; ''why, yer
don't mean to say yer think I'd cheat
a man tibet way, do yer? No, stranger,
shaking his head slowly, II amt tibet
kin'er man. I've been a dealin'in
bosses all my life, but never was up
ter trick like thet-I amt smart
enough. Ttell yer, fur fac, eff l
ever sol yer boss I don't relic it. .
Yer didn't sell imi we snapped.
But [ reckin yer'Il ric'lec' Their hoss's
name. if yer don't ric'lec'me."
''Mebbe 1 mought; wat WIS his
name?"
william Hinry"
Larkin's face seemed suddenly to
brighten with the light of remem-
brance, and he extended his hand to
give Sans friendly shake.
Yes" he said, Il does riclec; that