Omaha daily bee., 1888-05-06
DROPS

Some love the hand that is tapered and thin,
And some the hand that is plump;
But any kind of a hand will win when
When hearts are trump.
Oh, why down her cheeks do the tear drops
fall,
Oh, is there an ache in her heart, I wonders
Her shoes are new and a size too small,
My friend, and they're pinching her feet
like thunder.
If thirty-two is the freezing point, what is
the squeezing point!-Two in the shade.
Things always goes by contraries; the
stamp that won't stick on ter a letter sticks
ter yer vest pockets.
There is an Indian tribe in California con-
sisting of one man. When he dies his
language will cease to be spoken.
There is a young ladies' seminary in Con-
n~ecticut where the pupils are compelled to
say limbislation' instead of Legislation"
A startled correspondent writes to ask If
it is true that dog meat is sometimes canned.
Certainly, we have seen dogs tails canned
many a time.
A yonng mar in Maine is accused of having
voted thirteen times at one election, and he
is in a fair way to be convinced that the num-
Der is unlucky.
DIR. j. G. Ayers widow is worth $25, 600, 900,
which goes to show that pills and potions
are not so bad when the swallowing is done
by other Threats.
Four rash young men Of Williamsburg,
Mass, expect to make a tour through the
wild west without a cent to pay their way.
1t is of such stuff that tramps are made.
Mr.. Job Lott-You have forgotten to close
the safe door, Stonel Mr.. Kirby Stone-I
leave it open on purpose. don't want burg
lars to destroy a 81, 900 safe to get a few dol
lars.
"Yes," he said, ~ am tired. I've spent
the whole day practicing on a typewriter ma
chine, and it's hard work. ~ thought you
employed a typewriteri" ayes, but l mar
ried herr
The Kentucky legislature has been asked
to make poker playing a felony, but the peo-
pie may rest assured that the legislature of
that state will not go back on themselves in
any such way.
Down in Florida strawberry pickers are
earning only two cents a quart. But they
should not complain. That is much more
than they could get up here Just now at the
same business.
Mr.. l.. II. Snipe has been elected president
of the Yale university boat club. We do not
wish to make game of Mr.. Snipe, but it seems
in order to remark that he ought TO know
how TO Feather" his oars.
''Sintinced for loife, dyer says Arrah,
thin, if the Judge had his eyes about him he
might ha' seen that Dinnis was that delicate
that he'd niver live TO sarve out a loife SEN
tence, even if it was only for three yearsW
Regular printed invitations were recently
sent TO a funeral at Frogmore, La, that read
'Ihere VIII be a large Iuhefdl hI frOBnOre,
| the grandmother of IS wife. You are IN
vited. Ice water and soda. Come one, COM
all"
"Dr. Hammond says that death is not a
necessity docs he's Well, l have just
finished settling up Harkins'I estate, you
know, and Judging from the undertaker's bill
| paid I'm prepared to agree1with him. It's a
luxury"
The spring Photographer is abroad, and
among his latest is a story OF a bald-headed
man out in Sioux City who has had "A lock of
| frey red hair grow out in his desolate ex,
panse of forehead, while what remains of
his original hair is fairish black.
A young man was discussing with more
| spirit than was comely what he was pleased
TO call brain food" He urged that no ar
ticle of food furnished more brain matter
than baked beans. Just then an old man
looked up and said: "Young man, eat all
the baked beans you can get"
Sweet Girl-And do you really stand and
watch my window every night before you GO
home, George, deari George have been
doing so. my love, but l sha'n't any more.
Sweet Girl (anxiously)-Don't you love me
as much as everi George-O, yes; but last
night a policeman thought was u burglar
and took me 70 the station house.