St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1888-01-07
FULL OF FUN.

-Clara-"How did you enjoy the
opera last EVENING"" Lucy-"It was
divine. | had the nobbiest hat in the
house!'
"A cool man always takes things
easy; but if he takes them when they
belong to some one else, he is apt to
catch it hot.
There are two kinds of jokes. One
makes you ache with laughter and the
other only makes you ache. This one
belongs to the latter class. s.-Harper'
B0zGr
Don't trouble yourself to stretch
your mouth any WIDER" said dentist
to his patient; II intend to stand out
side to draw your tooth. "-Hea,th and
Home
Jericho is 1, 100 feet below the level
of the sea. New York seems to be
pretty low down, too, sometimes, but
we have hopes for her yet. Teas
Sit1imgs.
"A United Turkey
II can not carve this fowl" said Carr,
Who pryed and pulled with efforts jerky,
"For all the mighty Powers are
Against dismemberment of Turkey
It'd Bits.
-''My sister Clara" said Bobby to
young Mr.. Sissy, twas talking to ma
about your leaving so early last
night" ''Did she say she was sorry.
Bobby?'' whispered young Sissy. mo;
she said she s'posed you went home so
early because very likely your mamma
won't let you carry night-key.'-N
Y Epoch.
--"Your town seems to be very
quiet" said the traveller ''Yes." re-
piled the Dakotahan. 'She's lyin'
low for rise. We're all primed for
boom, but we can't agree whether to
work it on natural gas, a new wheat
belt, OF platinum mines. But when
we've decided just how to cut the fuse,
she'll go off like II bomb. ''-Bxrdette.
Nov, isn't that burning
shame?' said Mrs. Seldom, as she
pushed her spectacles up on her fore
head and laid down the morning pa
per: Whats that, map" asked her
youngest SON. why, Emperor Will
lam gave an audience to Prince Will
lam yesterday. Think of that, my
soma whole audience given away
like so many cattle. It's awful. -
Chicago News.
Young Husband (who thinks Of
Observation-Disclosures. my dear, know
you have been silently grieved and
panied for long time on account OF
my absence from home every evening.
I am going to turn over a new leaf
and I'm going to begin tonight"
Young Wife-"Oh, Edwin, you don't
know how happy you've made me.
Cousin Jack wants me to go to the
theater with him tonight and you can
take care of the baby.''-New Haves
News.
Mr.. De society-"Why are you
not going to the party tonight"
Mrs. DE Society-'I have nothing to
wear Nothing to wear! It isn't a
week since you received three new
dresses from Worth o! can't wear
them. It will never do" "You had !
one on this afternoon" ''Yes; / wear
them all, but only in my own room.
I wouldn't have any one see me in
them for the world.'' ''Why not?"
'They are too exquisitely beautiful.
Every woman in town would be
copying them."
Hunger has no pride. A ragged
and unkempt specimen of humanity
made the customary appeal at the
back-door. Not receiving instant re-
lief, he moaned: "But, marm, mine
is q sad case. I've been burned ont
o house and home, and I haven't ate
a thing for three days" "Been
burned out of house and homep''
"Yes, marm, you may have seen about
it in the newspapers, down to Bridge
port, you know. I am one OF the
balloons, and l lost every thing but
what I stood "-Boston transcript.
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