Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1888-11-23
SUFFERING STORIES.
From the Pittsburg Dispatch.

An unkind stOry--eyen II true
was told me while I was IN Eng
land of a young lady who married
a suffering man.
The young man was undoubtedly
a sufferer of the most positive OF
der. Tor / have heard him go
through paro&lsms to get out a
simple "goodmorningw The lady
whom he subsequently married was
of an eminently practical turn OF
mind. No maiden mOdesty or
bashfulness cloyed her methods.
She spoke to the point and never
left thought unexpressed If she
deemed it pertinent. After be had
called upon her some three or four
times she decided that it was about
time for her to know his intentions.
SO the next time he called, after
they had seated themselves as
usual on the sofa, she said quietly
but firmly "Mr Smith, / am very
much flaitered by the interest you
have taken in me, and the flowers
you have just given me are very
pretty, but feel that | should not
be doing my duty If | delayed any
longer asking You what your In
ientions are; whittier do these In
tentiOns and presents leadV
Young Mr.. Smith rose to his feet
and blush rose to his cheeks. lie
essayed to speak. For a moment
his lips and tongue seemed para
lized. Then he managed to get
out "M-M.M.y d.d-d'-but he could
get no further. The d might have
stood for any number of words, but
Miss Smith, justlfably, perhaps
interpreted to stand for darling,
aud the youths acute embarrass
ment to a modest confusion in
making a formal proposal.
Any way, she took Mr. Smith by
the hand, and looking into his eyes
exclaimed: "Mr. Smith, apprecl
ate your embarrassment, bat | I'M
derstand what You wish to say
You may speak to papa, and if he
approves, so do l."
They were married a few months
later, but Mr.. Smith has never ex
planned satisfactorily to his friends
whether he suffered into matri
mony of his own free will or against
it.
Another amusing consequence Of
an impeded speech comes to my
mind.
\ lady who could not say twenty
words without suffering to q
greater or less extent called upon a
family that had moved into bel
neighbOrhoOd short time before
As luck would have it, in this fam
lily was a young lady who suffered
and she 1t was who opened the
door when the aforementioned
lady called. For convenience lei
us call the caller Mrs. X and the
girl who is standing inside the
door Miss Y.
Mrs. Y. was a little nervous, and
thence her infirmity gathered
strngth. Said she ais M-M'M.M
W." and so on.
Miss Y. gazed at Mrs. Y. III as
constituent, and as the "M's" piled
up and nothing Ineligible followed
them she asked: "Wer-wer'wer
wer- wer.wer.what d.d.do you
want 7"
Now it was Mrs. KS turn to be
astonished, and worse still, angry
She thought Miss Y. was initiating
her, and she said tolerably clearly
lyon are the m.m.m-m.mOst I'M
im.impudent girl l ever saw"
Puzzled Miss Y. grew mad at
this, and slammed the door IN Mrs.
KS face, and reported to her
mother that she had just cOnyersed
with a maniac.
A great disturbance shook the
neighborhood in consequence OF
this interview, but mutual friends
stepped in and explained to the
ladies the true origin of the diff
Guilty, and they grew to be fast
friends afterward.