River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1888-08-30
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
polite circles the word drunk

polite circles the word drunk"
Intoxicated is no longer used.
''Ovsrestimated his capacity is tho
proper thing.-Epoch.
Look out for number one is like
the baseless fabric of dream TO a
widow on the qUi riCe for "a second hus-
band. -BinghamtoB Republican.
The direct action Of steam at two
hundred and twelve degrees is sufii-
Client to destroy all germs in from five to
fifteen minutes. The efficacy OF heated
dry air is uncertain.
1t is said that kissing was intro
duced into England by Rowena. There
are lots of fellows who would like To
subscribe s. fora monumental Rowena.
Huntington Free Press.
St Louis man witnessing Julius
Caesar DO yof notice, my dear,
with what stately grace Brutus moves
about?" Wife-"'Yes, and he il in his
night-gown, too. It's wonderful
Il notice. F." remarked Amy. "that
emillx shake is making heap OF fuss
girl, ''the tactical agitation is RESPONSE
BILE for considerable perturbation."-
Pittsburgh Chro 1icle.
Some one says that an umbrella
will last much longer If it is placed
with the handle downward to dry. To
preserve it still longer, attach it to
your body with long chain and pad
loclx.-Norrjst0V Herald.
1t is not always easy to tell whether
or not a woman really means what she
says; but this rule does not apply when
she is expatiating on the accomplish
ments Of her baby. She may be mis-
guided. but she is always perfectly
sincere. lSOmerUiiLe Journal.
All the men are not fools. any
how" snapped Mrs. CURLY to her hus-
band during little domestic discus
sion. "No, my dear" replied Mr.. G..
with true manly politeness. mo,
there are a few bachelors left as sam
pies. ~ Washington critic.
Police Protection Smith
do you ike your new house out in the
suburbs?" Jones The only objection
have to it is that it is 50 far TO the
police station in case Of burglars"
why didn't you rent a house near
saloon? You can always find police
man hanging around there. Te1as
Sytings.
Dominic Ito choir ieader)' The
collection this morning. Mr.. Hotwater,
was very small, and ] am sorry TO say
that think the mcagreness was largely
due to you. Choir Leader Largely
due TO me, sir2" Dominie-'sYes.
Hereafter, while the plate is being
passed, wish you would try and make
better selection Of music than Sal
vation's Free N T. SIM.
Mrs. Lenox Hill, Jr. Cgetting ready
TO leave town. -''LenOx, where shall |
hide these silver spoons, in case thieves
break in? DO you think between the
mattresses would be a good place.
Mr. Lenox Hill. Jr. (who knows what
he is talking about Nonsense Put
them into one Of your dress pockets in
the closet, and If a burglar finds that,
he deserves the spoonsf Puck.
The types. - observes a Southern
Missouri paper apologe:ically, 'T.ade
US allude last week 70 our esteemed
tOwnsman, Mr.. Polhemus, as a villain
Gus lounger. We wrote versatile law
yer The error was overlooked by our
proof-reader, a gentleman recently
from Texas. who assures US, in extern
uation Of the oversight. that the two
terms mean pretty much the same
thing where he came FROM
-Clergymen should be brief and e
the point. A Boston clergyman once
had a broad hint % that effect I'VE
would like TO have sou short when you
marry u.s. said prospective bride
groom, ..because we are going West"
s.How soon after the ceremony viii you
start2~ asked the clergyman ..In
about a week, was the reply Then
the minister realized he had reputa-
tion as one possessing the gift Of con-
tisasaaa. -Hlz1.r Ad91ziHe