Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1888-02-12
BURDETTE'S HUMOR.
THE xuMoRIsr GIVES SOME ADVICE 70
YOUNG WRITERS.
On q roboggan slide-Angsls that Ply II
No. Held-genersl Ignorance.
[For the Dispstch--Copyrighted 1881
Advice 20 a Young Writer.

Advice so q Young Writer.
This department is little overcrowdeC
inst now, at time when every man who
has learned how TO read and write, anG
is not under contract TO tell war stories
by the mile, is writing columns of in.
strucsion to other literary people--tell-
ing them what, how, when, and where r.
write. But these instructions appear to
miss all the vital points, to which / now
direct the attention OF all people who
aim to excel in literary work.
| A literary man requires great deal Of
sleep. So does his readers. If the au'
thor can sleep ten hours day, his
readers. under the law for the proven
ton Of cruelty to animals, are entitled
to eleven. And they ought to take it,
too, every lime they pick up his book.
OF all things the author should be
careful OF his brain. 1t shonld not be
used at all for twelve hours before going
to bed, nor between meals. In writing
for the stage, should the work in hand
be an American society drama, the brain
OF the writer should not he used at all.
Then the people who go to see the play
will not have to use theirs either, II they
are foolish enough TO take them to the
theatre with them. In writing tragedy
great care must be taken in the selection
of a good stage carpenter, after which
the author may 20 to sleep.
About ON hOur and a half day is as
long as any literary man should work.
You should rise some time in the morn
ing, nibble few biscuits, and down a
cup of coffee, and then go back to bed
and think until you fall asleep. Then
rise again and take good hearty break
fast After breakfast do not 60 to work,
but lie on your back on the sofa and
read until luncheon is announced. A
literary man OF woman requires a great
deal Of food. After luncheon walk
around in the garden or swing in ham
mock, or recline in an oasy-chair
until dinner time-say o'clock. Avoid
sudden exertion. 1t is apt to de-
velop heart-disease. Do not attempt to
do any work Immediately after dinner.
Go to your room and lie down. If you
are q smoker a good cigar before your
nap will do no harm if you will be
careful TO smoke another one immedi-
ately after it. CATER the nap or the
cigar?" Both, my son. You should
now rest until tea-time, at or Z o'clock.
If you have any regard for your health
you will do no literary work between
tea and suppertme. Go to the theatre
and enjoy a nap or lounge about the
house or lie down and rest little. If
you feel a bit hungry light lunch
con will not spoil your supper. In
fact a literary person cannot be too care
full in this matter of revictualling
Nicsics. Always keep pot Of coffee, or
kettle Of clam chowder, or some beef
tea, or some hearty soup sizzling on the
stove, ready to your hand and mouth at
minutes warning. Always lie down
and rest after eating anything. Supper
should be eaten just before going to bed.
Something hearty and substantial, for
you have had wearing day. For your
life's sake do not do any work after sup
per, but go right to bed and try to get
little rest. II you feel wakeful during
the night get and take little nourish-
ment. Won cannot expect to write with
a starved brain. And bear in mind, that
to the literary man sleep is as essential
as food. Eat as much as you sleep.
but" you say, call this eating and
does not leave me any time for
writing"
"My son, you have the ear-marks Of
genius. l didn't think there was so
much in you."
"And newspaper-men ?" you say.
Oh, we'll, if you want to be newspaper
man, you must learn to est on the run,
work eighteen hours a day, and devote
the rest of your time to getting rid of
your salary. though you only wanted
to be journalist or something Of that
sort.