Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1888-08-02
ARRESTED FOR ASSAULT.
Carl Dunder Invests in a Speaking Tube
and Gets Into Trouble.

Carl Dunder Invests in a Speaking Tube
and Gets Into Trouble.
s'Der odder day." said Carl Dunder,
as he went down to see the sergeant
yesterday, "a strange shcntlemans
comes into my blace. Vhas / Carl
Dunder? / vhas. Say, Mr.. Dunder,
vhas your family oop shtairsP She
vhas. Um! Vhell, / vhas told so, but
aoan' belief him. 1t vhas criminal
carelessness on your part. Pooty soon
he shows me dot my place can get on
fire in six hoonerdd deterrent places,
und we vhas all burned oop in our beds.
Dot makes me scared
"He wanted to sell you a fire es-
cape.'
sNo, he doan' haf some"
"Wcll, what was it?'
"He makes me a shpcaking tube to
go oop shtairs. One end vhas out door,
80 der policeman can call me from der
sidewalk if fire was going. He makes
der price so reasonable dot all can
afford him, und he puts in u whistle
81 see."
"Vell, all der poys come in und see
him und eafery pody says he vhas a
good thing, 1t vhas only fife dollar to
save all our lives"
(Which are worth at least twice
that, replied the sergeant.
II goes in ped by ten O'clock con-
tinued Mr.. Dunder, without noticing
the slur, ''und / doan' fall asnloep be-
fore somepody blows dot whistle nit
der tube, under voice says Hello!
Dunder'
Eyes, dot vhas me. Vhas all on
firepn
''Oh, no. l shust call you oop to ask
if you ever had soft corn between
your toesp"
"Nefcr! You vas a loafcr!'
"Oh, vhas, ,eh! I'll see you to-mor-
row. Good night, old crab-apple!'
at vhas some loafer, sergeant, und
| vhas so mad can't go to shleep. My
wife says shall let it all go und keep
quiet, but in few minutes dot whistle
plows again, and somepody softly calls
me:
"Helloh! Dunder!
"Yes; dot vhas me!'
"Any signs of fire oop-shtairsp"
"No."
"Und | dOan' see none oudt here. II
you should be a-iire oop dere, please
whistle down queek, so dot we can run
avhay."
"Who vhas youP"
der Gofernor of Ohio. l vhill call
around tomorrow"
"Vhell, sergeant, doan' be in bed
ten minutes again before somepody
whistles again. | goes oafer by der
tube und says:
"Who vhas dereP"
"Me.n
"Who vhas meP"
"Der policemans. How vhas it oop
dere?n
"All right"
"Und she vhas all right down here
Dot vhas a sphlendid idea of yours, Mr.
Dunder. You vhill never be purnet
oop in your bed"
"Did you want something's"
"Oh, no. Being as l vhas passing
,y | shust try der tube to see il he vha
all right. Good night, old man."
$50 on" said the sergeant, as Mr.
Dundcr paused.
I'm ten minutes more dot whistle
blows again, und eafcry ten minutes al
dot night l haf to shump oudt of be-
und say:
"Hello! Who vhas dot?'
"Your friend, Shudge Comeback.
"Und vhas you wantp'
"Can you lend me fife dollar til
Saturday."
"Now
"Vhell, doan' plow my head of
Can't lend me flyer, eh?"
MOT!
"Vhell, dot settles me. Dis vhas
splendid idea of yours. l come owe
and talk NIT you eafery few minutes.
81 doan' shleep one wink all dc
night, und my wife und Shake vhas a
broke up. When daylight comes
! smash dot pipe all to pieces NIT der a
und lick two men who comes in un
makes fun of me. Vhas l to blame
sergeantp"
"Oh, no"
} "Vhas / some greenhornsp"
: "No. Let me see where the wal
: rants are.
5 Warrants! For mep"
5 1.-TWO warrants for assault and ba
I terry. Might as well serve them on yo
: here. If you can show self-detense c
e great provocation you can probabl
S get off with nominal fine, but if yo
0 can't it will"
e But Mr.. Dunder had gone, and /
!, didn't return for his hat, which BILE
/ off at the door.-DetroH Free Press.
v UNCLE SCIP'S WAY.