Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1888-01-20
January

prove mere were fearful TRIALS still be-
! fore us, not much inferior to any that we
had passed. we long held our lives by the
frailcst thread yet t II the close of the
war, though many persisted around us,
| death did not claim another victim from
| our midst We committed ourselves to
the Lord, not expecting deliverance in
this world and in his boundless mercy
| he bestowed upon MS all we asked, and far
more than we had dared to hope.
Few things in our whole prison expert
cnce were more fearful than awakening
| the next morning The chill light of n
new day--the dispcling of dreams that
| may have been very pleasant, and have
brought home wildly before us-always
! made the morning hour the most drcary
| of the day. But on this occasion we
! looked around and saw the places of our
! friends vacant, and all the great sorrow
! of our bereavement again rolled over MS
| like the incoming of the sea.
/ But we wished to do something 4
small Bible was borrowed from Mr.. Tur-
ner when he came TO bring our scanty
| brCakfnst-Mr. ThOcr who was always
with him to see that he gave ms no undue
indulgence did not objcct--and then we
had reading, singing and prayer-ncarly
every one praying, SO that il might rather
be called II morning prayer meeting than
"family worship though the latter was
the title used. We now resolved to con
tinue this practice as long rs our prison
| life lasted.
From this time forward we had relig-
ious exercises morning and evening, and
| found them Il great consolation and sup
port. They began and closed the day
Alright, and thus added sweetness to all ~
| ,lNtit a
bearing directly upon our own gloomy
prospects, and thus enabling us to main
tain better mental health. We always
sung hymn or two ON these occasions.
Indeed there was nearly as much singing
ms at Chattanooga, but of far different
| and more inspiring character. Instead Of
| "Nettie More, " Carrier Dove" and such
| harmless Sentimcntalty, we sang Crock
| of Ages "Jcsu>. Lover OF My Soul.
and others Of pronounced spiritual cast.
! This greatly astOnishcd the guards. They
were given strict charge TO watch us
| closely. with the statement that we were
the most desperate characters in the whole
United States: hen to hear us sing Meth
odist hymns and to know that we had
prayers, morning and evening, was con
tradiction they found it hard to reconcile
| Soon the story of the heroic death of our
|
was noised about Atlanta. and no doubt
there were many expressions which gave
some ground for the bitter complaint of
"sympathy' made aftcrward by the pro-
vost marshal in his report. But we cared
comparatively little for this, of which, in
deed, we then knew nothing. We had
never expected to receive much help from
| the people Inside, and would not have
dared, for fear of treachery, to accept it if
offered But we wished to find that
peace in believing that we had heard of
Christians possessing. What would we
not now have given for the counsels and
assistance Of Il minister we could fully
| trust.
1t is delicate matter TO speak of the
| beginning of ones own religious life-te
say neither too much nor too little; but in
the hope of guiding some other who is
feeling after The truth, | will venture,
using the light that twenty-five years
have thrown back on those carly days
After the terrible 18th of June ! am
not conscious of any experience Of IA re-
ligiOus character for several days except
IA profound and burning conviction that it
is folly to wait for death before trying to
be right with God. might he sinful or
wicked again, but the idea that the great
last could Influence me no more! Just
how to be religious was u puzzle. | knew
if | had n command to execute from an
army officer | would do it, if in my power,
no matter how difficult or dangerous: and
! wished intensely that 1t was Just as easy
10 be religious as to be a soldier But
there was the question of right feelings
and right motives that did not seem to
come into play very much in the army;
for if Il soldier did his duty he was not
apt to be asked how he felt about il; | had
the belief that ! must have Joy and rap
turc in thinking of death. readiness to
shout Gods praises which | did not feel;
and for a time it seemed as if could never
reach genuine conversion. | diligently
read the Bible which we had borrowed
but while | enjoyed many things in it,
little direct guidance for me was found.
asked counsel of Capt. Fry, for whom
| had the greatest esteem and respect.
But it was SO easy for him to believe that
| thought his case must be very unlike my
own | also spoke to j. X. Porter, the
only one of our number who had a clear
religious faith, and seemed to be happy in
it. His first answer was very striking.
asked how he felt about death, lie thought
that | referred to our worldly prospects,
and answered that probably we would
soon all he put to death. But what is
your feeling about death itself?'' | con-
tinucd. He said
II am not afraid to die, il it is God s
will; trust him now and ! expect tO
trust him to the last" He took my hand,
and there was n steady light in his eye
that made me believe every word he said
But when asked him how he got such a
faith he could only tell me that he went &c
a Methodist "mourners' bench" two years
before anG sought till he found it, This
did me no good, for there was no such
place accessible here.
In sore perpleXity read the Bible from
day to day and prayed, taking my turn il
praying aloud and reading with the
others. At length | thought | began &c
see that trusting Christ meant something
like taking his words and teachings fOI
my guide, trying to do all that he com
/. mands and leaving the result, while did
this with him, This was not that sud
al f,,r hot hitt1