Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1888-08-16
sUsPIOIONs.

It was the lady who thought she was go-
ing to swoon who had a faint suspicion
Litiz Penn.1 Express.
A philosopher says: tfEvery man is occas-
ionAlly what he ought to be perpetually." ;"
This does not refer to the old topper. He is
perpetually what he ought to be occasionally.
Burlington Free Press.
A salute of seventy-two guns was fred at
Berlin when the new Empress gave birth to q
son. In this country enough noise is gener-
ally made when baby Ia born without fir
ing guns.-NorTistown Herald.
On Their Wedding Trip.-Scene-A rail-
road restaurant. She-"Oh, dearl I wish
we had hammer to crack this pie ecrust." !"
He-HWait q moment, my love. I will buy
q sandwich. ."-Burlington Free Press.
Tremlow-"Gone completely, Siggy!" Sig-
amund-"What is ita saw you an hour
ago and you were getting on swimmingly
with that stunning Marshmallow girl" !"
Tremlow-"So was, my deah boy, so was;
but just when began to get over my bash
fulness q little, she turned around and asked
me If wouldn't like to come over and play
with her little sister some afternoon. ."-Bos-
ton Journal.
Old Mrs. Bently-"What are you readin',
Josiahf' Old Mr.. Bently-esIrn readin' bout
prize fight atween Hoboken's Rat and Teddy
and Flip. The paper says that what'-his-
name put the other fellow to sleep in the
last roaad.n Old Mrs. Bently-'fGracious,
Josiah, what dreadful thing to read about,
some kindness of heart or he wouldn't put
the other man to sleep. ."-Epoch.
Woman Ito tramp)-'I don't see how you
kin eat in such hot weather. don't swaller
enough to keep bird alive" Tramp (put-
ting away the last morssl) Madam, poor
people have to put up with great deal. !"
Woman-"I s'pose so. Now can't you saw q
2y1 (-@,o ol,f ell Tol
DAM If you think it is too hot to eat it is GER
tainly too hot to saw wood-woman is noth-
ing If not inconsistent. THE Epoch.
Toto has been expressly forbidden to touch
anything upon papa's library desk and has
had the lesson painfully enforced upon sew
eral occasions. The other night discussion
arose a. to the origin of certain word. The
dictionary was found on papa's desk, but the
| says papa. 'sThat word is certainly missing
| and yet it ought to be there.n Toto, with
/ tearful earnestnesa-'I can't help it papa
I really didn't take it."-From the French.
| The Wrong Article.-Customer Ito jewel
| erf-"Here's the clock bought of you the
other day. It's of no earthly use to me, for
| 1t gains fully fifteen minutes hour" jew
eler examining clock k)-''My dear sir, beg
| Z Thousand pardons This is one of oul
patent anticipatory timepieces, made exclu
sively for our billiard room and livery stable
trade. Excuse the mistake. Anything you
may seleat in the way of our regular citizens
clock we will exchange it for with pleasure.
Thine.
.tNaemi," he said softly, as they gazed a
the neon above them, 'tisn't the evening
beautiful Do you know, strange fancie
throng my mind on night like this. Ever,
zephyr seems to bear gentle voices, perhaps
from the spirit world. Do you hear suci
| yoices.n
Silence for q moment.
'tI think do, George"
"What do they sound like to you'll"
t'They are very indistinct, but they max
me think that papa and brother Henri,
are calling the dog. ."-Nebraska Stat
Journal.
/ You can't weigh grams with grammar,
Nor sugar cure hams with hammer,
Do sums with summer,
1 Stew plumbs with plumber,
Nor shear an old ram with rammer.
-8pringfield Union.