The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1888-10-20
BILL NYE'S ADVICE.
To Aspiring Young Men Who Would Be
come Journalists.

| come JOURNALISTS.
In writing editorials, therefore, let
the pupils early be taught to sit erect,
with the eye upon some object about
1917 feet away, resting the right arm
easily upon the muscles of the forearm,
thinking one thought at time and
transferring it to paper, then thinking
another and so on till these children OF
the brain get more and more seldom,
then wipe the pen carefully on neat
little olive green chenille pen-wiper,
bathe the head In tepid water, polish
the brow with a manicure set and take
brisk walk in the open air.
Removing the coat in order TO write
the following editorial paragraph is un-
necessary: owe call special editorial
attention today to the announcement
on first page of this issue to the effect
that owing to the prevalence of small
pox, which are now quite thick to men,
school will not take up till next Monday
two weeks"
Taking off the coat and vest and let
ting down the suspenders in order to
write burning thoughts, is gradually be-
coming more and more obsolete as
women become more and more identi-
fed with journalism. A man may, if
he will, just as easily sit erect, throw
out his chest and pull in his tongue, as
to cultivate eccentricitles and seek to
attract attention by assuming odd atti-
tudes while at work. | know good,
scathing writer who goes into his office
about 10 O'Clock, locks the door, takes
off most of his clothes, being wrapped
up in thought almost exclusively, sits
on the fourth lumbar vetebra, braces
his heels against the wall little above
his head, and as he works he screws
the nails of his boot heels into the hard
wall harder and harder as he goes on.
One day last summer, while working
with unusual vigor on an editorial in
relation to the ever attractive, bright
red cancer in the Crown Princes
throat, he was surprised to see 80 or 40
gold coins fall on his table, like blessed
advance in his salary. Looking up he
discovered that with his heel a hole into
the vault of the First National Bank,
next door. Carefully poking back the
money, he pasted a sheet of paper
over the hole and, marking it Opened
by mistake - he put his heels against
the drum of light sorrel coal stove
and went on with his work.
He is extremely eccentric in many
ways, besides being thoughtful and
painstaking liar.
Early lessons, 1 believe, should be
connected with the use of the black
board. For instance, let the student
write on the board political paragraph
winding up with the quotation Dinna
ye hear the slogan1" Next write one
which shall not contain the above ex-
preston.
Write brief description of fire in
which there was a loss OF S45,S32 81
with $1,000 insurance. Cause of fire
supposed to have been incendiary. The
account OF the fire to speak briefly OF
the bravery of the fire department
without referring to the fact that they
are " fire laddles."
Write in modern reportorial form.
something as follows, the account of
an engagement between David and
Goliath:
GA slight south wind was blowing
down the valley Of Elah, veering a little
to westward and showing some signs of
rain IN the doubtful States before night,
as the sun rose above the camp ground
of the Fifth Battalion of Israelite In
fantry, with Saul's headquarters a little
further up the gulch near the Court
House.
"The bright glitter of FURNISHED
armor and the smell of hot coffee pre-
vaded the scene, while across the creek
and encamped over toward Ephes-
Damim and the Bethlehem sawmill
stood the A tents of the Philstines.
Softly the two contendlng armies awoke.
Here and there the bray of an ass or a
Philstine broke the stiffness, and the
practical ear could now and then hear
the bowels of the earth rumble as Co.
Hath turned over in bed and thought
about the text of his opening defiance
to the Israelites.
"Gradually the pickets and the Phil
istine advance guard were called in to
breakfast, and promptly at 10 O'Clock
Goliath, with new zinc overcoat and
copper sun bonnet, faced with chilled
steel and tied on with telegraph wire,
appeared on the grand stand facing
the camp of the Israelite, followed by
Colonel Fitz John Abimilech, of Gath,
who introduced Goliath briefly, as fol-
lows: "'Fellow soldiers of the regu-
lar Philistine army and ME. hi.ino uen