Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1888-04-06

|
ed an East London dialect greer
with envy. But at night the silker
chains of society laid hold on him.
and decked him out in all their para
phernalia of form and custom, swal
low-tail coat, low vest, diamond and
white tie, patent leather shoes, and
then led him away captive to the gay,
alIuring haunts of fashion, where be
was fondled openly for bis riches, and
secretly despised and Knocked for
his mental failipgs. His supreme ar.
rogance, of course, buoyed him up
and closed his eyes tightly to all de.
fects
"Mr Porker,. . said fair hostess
one hight, as she pointed to paint,
ing that represented bit of smiling
meadow land and forest, "is not that
8 charming water-colo,W
Madam" said Mr.. Pogker, with
an air of well-assumed criticism, as
he tugged nervously at his terra Gotta
colored beard, and glared at the
painting through a pair of gold eyes
glasses; Madam, it's a pretty neat
picture, bat | really fail to see whar
the water comes in"
But Of a sudden a new idea,
strange to say, forced itself with
some difficulty into the brain of Hi
ram PoTker. O'er the spirit of his
dreams there came a change, and he
straightway announced to his friends
that in the early spring he would
take a jaunt over the European Cont
nent and leave his hogs to be guillo-
tined by strange hends. The fact
was that, having now become full
aegded society man, he felt it incum-
bent upon him to go in search OF that
added luster aud polish that a conti-
neatal sojourD alone can impart. He
was beginning to wake up and to see
that other men who made money had
delightful ways of spending it, too.
Life was not intended to be passed
in the company of pigs. So, filed
with all the ardor of this newborn
resolution, Hiram Porker prepared
prepared for his trip.
Spring was approaching, or rather
Summer, for it was near the end of
April, and in May Mr., Porker was to
sail. Hs had fou nd suitable man,
ffom his standpoint, to conduct the
business, ard this important affair
settled, his mind was somewhat at
ease In the meantime some of Mr..
Porker's numerous friends, who | am
inclined to imagine cherished deep
down in their hearts a hidden ami
mostly against the rich pork packer,
were preparing a pleasant little sur
prise for him in the way of practi-
cal joke, and from the long hours
spent at the club in concocting their
scheme, it was evidently unusually
brilliant.
The first of May was close at hend,
and on the evening prior to his de-
parture for New York, Hiram Parker
was sitting in his library putting at
a five-cent cigar, and trying to ascer-
tain from map spread out before
him whether there were any pork
packing establishments is the city Of
London. He was deeply engrossed
in this important problem when
three visitors We're ushered into the
room.
"Ah, gentlemen" said Hiram.
rising briskly, good evening. Take
a seat. Come to say good bye, did
you? Waal, you are just in time. |
pull out early tomorrow, and | hope to
be on the briuy in three days"
"Yes," responded Jack Martin. I'VE
knew you sailed tomorrow. Mr.. Por-
ker, and came to wish you bon voy-
ags' in behalf of your numerous
friends. And knowing your kindness
of heart and genial good nature. |
have also made up my mind to ask
favor of you. You are, perhaps, not
aware that my family are English.
and in fact, to be brief with you, |
am related to Lord CasperdOwn, of
Eaton Square, London. | have sew
eral packages containing presents to
my relatives. and also a bundle Of
letters of much importance that |
should dislike TO trust to the mails.
1t is presumption TO ask it, Mr.. Por-
ker, but you would be comforting
priceless favor upon me if you would
deliver these in person at Eaton
Square. And any small returns
that Lord Casperdown can make for
your kindness / know he will do
gladly. AS q friend of mine you
will be thrice welcome, and as Lord
Casperdown's guest the portals of
the London upper ten thousand will
be thrown open to you. Here are
the packages, and, stepping to the
table, he laid down small packet of
letters and two square, fiat bundles of
considerable weight, and probably
six by eight inches in size.
Certainly, certainly" said Hiram;
"of course I'll deliver that fur you.
1t won't be no trouble at ell. Just
as soon as | get to London I'll run
up and see Lord Gasserdown. and
tell him how you are and give him
your presents Wouldn't be bad
idea now, would it, to take him along
little box of my specially prepared
slices of bacon, them in CREASED pa
pers, and tin boxes, you know, just
to let him see what kind of stuff we
put up here in Chicego?"
That's splendid idea," said Jack
Martin; "but I'Il tell you one thing,
Mr. Porker, you ought to have q IT,
tie of some kind. Every one across
the ocean of any account has a lot of
letters tackled on the end Of his name. ,
Eyes; Pve been thinking about
that" said Hiram, "and I've picked
out a title for myself already. Mr..
Hiram Porker, G. II K how does
that sound, anyhow? Purity fine,
amt it? It's good one too, Cham
pion Hog Killer. | reckon j won't
find any one over thar to dispute
that title with me- Think so?"
drop the last word and you'll be
safe on that score" murmured Jack
Martin under his breath
"And rs for these bundles" con-
tinued Hiram, as he pulled a grip
sack from under the table, "I'll just
stow them away in this. and then Pll
have them safe with me all the time